#and i just have so many thoughts i need to scream | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cheyisagirlkisser · 2 days ago

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Please could you do a small one shot or headcannon for sevika... soft degradation with love behind it NSFW pleaseeee I need this in my life 😭😭

my nsfw thoughts on sevika

warnings: 18+ content, mentions of different sexual activities and positions, dom! sevika/sub reader dynamic, spankings & pain-play, hair-pulling, soft degradation, shower sex, strap-on oral, and petnames (good girl, Sevika refers to herself as daddy idc it’s my headcannon!)

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika whose favorite position is missionary. Many would say it's boring for a favorite, but Sevika? It's an easy excuse to get the chance to kiss you while she's inside you. She will be on top of you with either her fingers deep in your cunt, letting them squeeze around her like a vice, or forcing your legs wide apart so she can fit her wide hips between them to fuck you with a strap-on. No matter what though, you're gonna have a mouth full of her. It may be soft, sweet kisses that you get when she feels loving with you, her lips taking yours tenderly. However, sometimes when you're both moaning all messily and on the edge of orgasms, she'll find herself harshly shoving her tongue in your mouth, often having to pull away to breathe. In those moments, you hear words that make your pussy clench around her.

"You love getting fucked like this, hm? When I fuck this pussy 'till you feel it in your throat?"

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika who is the type to prefer the strap in favor of scissoring, fingering, and pussy eating. Not to say she won't do foreplay! Sevika eating pussy is another topic for a headcannon below, but her with a strap? She likes being able to have her power over your with her entire body. Feeling your pussy against hers is nice, but there is a certain degree of control that comes with fucking you. She can feel it, but it isn't as messy or as overwhelming. For her, at least. You're feeling her in a way that makes your legs shake and your voice turn raw, while she can stay fucking you above you, able to tease and taunt you.

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika who is a soft sadist. She doesn't enjoy laughing while spanking you or using a flogger or whatever method you're into. She likes watching you struggle with the pleasure combined, too. Imagine bent over her lap, your face buried into the bed as you pathetically cry. Sevika doesn't spank you harder or tell you to count, no. She'll be sweet about it for a bit, make you feel good and loved. Lean down and coo soft comforts in your ear and make you feel like you're off the hook. You're not, though. The moment you confirm that you're still okay, you get another hit on your ass that leaves you instantaneously crying out and cumming. Same with hair-pulling, too. Sevika is a huge hair puller. She likes forcing you to face her either by grabbing your chin(imagine the way she did with Vi during the fight in season one!!), or gathering your hair in a ponytail just to lovingly yank it. It makes her own pussy throb to listen to the surprise in your tone when she does it.

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika who, when she has sex, has to have long sessions. Doesn't settle for quickies, unless it's cannon-world Sevika who would probably enjoy getting the stress eased with a quick fuck. Brothel Sevika would probably be in and out to cum or to fuck one of the girls, but when you're her girl, she will spend hours making you cum. She loves foreplay, saying it's necessary to "prep you for her cock." You will probably cum at least once or twice on with a tongue warming up your clit or her middle finger teasing your g-spot, but try not to lose your voice screaming and lose your energy thrashing, because the main event will last until Sevika physically can't fuck you anymore. Breaks included.

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika who is a pussy-eating enthusiast. Her method isn't Vi or Caitlyn's would be. Vi would probably flick her tongue a lot and Caitlyn would be giving proper ice-cream licks, but Sevika makes it intimate with taking her time. She's in no rush with foreplay, so why not spend a while just teasing around your clit? Why not savor the taste of your wet pussy lips, even dipping her tongue into your hole? Watching you squirm under her mouth, bucking up to get direct contact but failing. She sometimes even finds herself laughing against your pussy, not intending to cause vibrations through you but does anyway. Best believe after the teasing is up that she will not stop fucking you with her nose and mouth until you're begging for mercy.

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika who loves to degrade. She doesn't outright call you a slut, but (consensually) makes comments when you wear lingerie that make you feel the best type of shame. She likes calling out brats, too. She won't hesitate to put you in your place in the most gentle way possible. Sevika is definitely a huge condescending degrader, too. She'll insult you for acting dumb when she fucks you, letting you know how pathetic you are for the bit of drool on your lips from her dick impaling you, and nearly laughing into your ear when you whimper her name like a dog in heat when the tip of the silicone kisses your cervix.

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika who loves shower sex. Having you pressed up against steamy glass, lathering soap all over your back to stall. She loves taking her time, running water down your back to add to the sensations until you’re begging her to fuck you. Then, she’ll bend you over and just simply tease you. Her fingers will slide between your folds, just separating them and collecting the slick that increases there. When she can tell that you can’t take anymore, then she will drop to her knees and eat your pussy out from the back. If she’s had a rough day and you allow her to take her stress out on you, she will fuck you with her thick fingers while the shower water falls onto the both of you, letting out various curses.

“Shh, be a good girl and take my fingers. Maybe I’ll let you choke on my dick after if you listen. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

⋅ᯓᡣ𐭩 Sevika who is a lover of both traditional head and strap head. She likes to watch your lips wrap around the tip of her fake dick, adore how you take as much as you can of the length into your mouth. She can’t feel it, but if she sees you using teeth she’ll use it to degrade you.

“Nuh-uh, you know better. I know you’re better at sucking dick than that. C’mon. Be a good girl and suck daddy’s cock right, don’t you wanna make me cum?”

But halfway through, she just gets so turned on that she rips the harness off, letting your eager (and very slutty) mouth taste her pussy. You love sucking her strap, but her real taste is unbeatable. Her body tenses and her breathing grows heavy above you, nodding slightly when you lap at her clit in earnest. She still guides you through it, but just know that your reward for after is getting to ride her face, so every slightly mean instruction is worth it. You like being bossed around by Sevika, anyways.

#requests #sevika x fem!reader #sevika x reader #sevika arcane #arcane sevika #sevika #arcane #arcane smut #arcane x reader

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love-marimo · 3 days ago

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The Strawhats x Model!Reader (Modern AU)

Lolita's Note: these are really short. just a few (some are platonic and some are romantic) headcanons for the strawhats with a model (gender neutral) reader! a bit of suggestive stuff (mostly crack) on sanji, zoro and brook's. enjoy ♡

cw: mentions of smoking and drinking.

Franky

he's going to be SUUUUUPER supportive about your career.

i imagine him to be a mechanic/engineer in the modern au so your pairing is definitely unconventional

will develop an app that detects nearby castings when you're on the go.

and if he can sit somewhere in the audience during one of your shows, he's gonna put up a sign that says something like "I LOVE YOU MY SUPER HOT PARTNER"

will might get kicked out for obnoxiously cheering for you.

Usopp

he'll definitely think you're cool and will brag about you a lot to his peers.

so much so that he'll make up lies like you're also secretly the designer, or you're the highest paid model (even if you aren't).

he gets so mesmerized when he sees you walk in those pretty clothes and he will definitely take photos of you.

like a lot

will run a secret fan account that you will never find out and he'll brag about you lots on there.

Robin

this woman has connections. a LOT of it. she's the most likely out of all the strawhats to sit front row because of how many people she knows and she's affiliated with.

you both follow each other on instagram and people love to see what you two post. you're definitely a power couple, both online and offline.

your stories and feed will scream quiet luxury and glamour, and everyone is here for it.

she'll help you grow in your career and you might even rise to the top because of her.

she's like your manager and she'll do it for free just because she loves you so much.

Nami

you will be models together. period. no questions asked.

absolutely goes crazy during fashion week. she'll plan all your outfits a year ahead and she's very good at predicting trendy pieces in every. season.

will go with you to every casting and will not settle if the directors don't hire the both of you.

like robin, your online presence will scream power couple.

but the difference is you'll post a variety of things online.

one moment there's the baddest, coolest, and most amazing runway photos of you both and the next there is a video of you having the worst jet lag ever.

Jinbe (if he was human)

need a bouncer? say no more. he's got you covered.

this man will immediately know if there are sketchy people who pretend to do castings.

so you will go to him for advice about it especially when you're just starting out.

if you have an international gig, he'll pack you a lot of essentials (toiletries, medicine, staple clothes, you name it) and he'll be your personal body guard until you reach the airport.

make sure to send him photos, he'll definitely collect those and all the magazines that has you in it.

Luffy

do not bring him to an hour long fashion show, or his restless ass won't take it.

that said, he's also going to be very supportive even if he doesn't understand and relate to your kind of work.

he's the type to wait for your turn and then leave once he knows you're not gonna show up anymore.

will go 0o0 every time he sees you in designer clothing. and he will ask for a photo before you set out to stage.

he's so oblivious that there was one time where he innocently and confidently asked the designer themselves to take a photo of you.

you were definitely scared of being reprimanded and black listed.

luckily his child like charm lets the both of you get away with it.

Chopper (if he was human)

poor baby, he's going to be so confused.

he has no idea how the modeling industry works but he tries his best!!

will get lost in thought, admiring all the models (especially you) who wear the most unbelievable and extraordinary (to his eyes) pieces he's ever seen.

he's that little brother who claps and goes starry-eyed even if he doesn't know what's going on.

in his head he's like "cool cool cool cool!!!"

if he catches you smoking backstage he gets angry, and the other models will find that cute.

the thing is though, he's so well versed in medicine that he convinces all of you to stop smoking.

Sanji

oh boy.

this man is even worse than franky

he's not gonna scream or whistle or do loud things in a regular show (rtw or haute couture)

but! BUT

do not invite him to a bikini show like the VS Angels.

this man will get a sensory overload and will collapse.

also runs a fan account about you and is SHAMELESS about it.

he will post the most out of pocket captions that you have to take his phone away for a week.

Zoro

this man is so fine that underwear and fitness companies want to hire him.

he is not interested. he'd rather see you model for a bikini calendar (which he'll definitely buy)

will also be your personal bodyguard. and he'll be secretly happy about it.

prefers to watch you model for photoshoots than walk the runway. he doesn't like waiting and he wants to focus on only you.

will be your personal errand boy and will take you out drinking after shows.

Brook (if he was still alive as a human)

this old man will either be the sound engineer, or the performer in one of your shows.

do not also take him to bikini shows or he will go around backstage reveling in all the panties he sees.

otherwise, he's pretty chill. he will socialize with other guests and talk about how pretty all the clothes are.

will also go to fashion week with you and get the attention of a lot of street photographers.

ー Lolita

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wroetominter · 2 days ago

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Three Peaks - George Clarke

Warnings: none, some swearing

Thank you for the request! I have some serious writers block right now so bear with as the time between posts may be a little longer. I appreciate you!

———

"I don't know how I got roped into this one" I adjusted the microphone I was securing to Chris' t-shirt. He chuckled, patting my shoulder as I finished.

"Well, there aren't many of you fit enough to actually climb three mountains so it was quite the easy choice." Chris said. I sighed, shaking my head. Mentally slapping myself for telling Chris casually that I enjoyed a good hike.

Chris had the thought for a video that honestly, I couldn't even make fun of. It was a really well thought out idea. A group of his friends and crew tackling the three peaks challenge. Which is essentially just climbing three mountains in 24 hours. Seems damn near impossible, especially considering the group he had.

I had been part of Chris' camera crew for almost a year now, and I felt like I had really found a good group of friends in this job. Outside of filming I had been hanging out with Chris and his core group frequently. Many nights spent out at different pubs, or simply hanging out at their flat.

"Let's get going shall we?" Chris began to lead the group. I stuck towards the middle, filming the boys who had taken the lead.

Reev, Chris, and George led the pack as we began the ascent to the top of our first mountain.

"I can already tell this is going to be fucking awful." I heard from behind me. I turned my head to see Arthur Hill beginning the days complaints.

"George you owe me a tenner!" Television shouted from beside him.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"I placed a bet that Hill would be the first to complain." Television explained. I threw my head back laughing, panning the camera to catch Hills reaction. He deadpanned and just stared at the camera.

"Don't worry Arthur, I'm not looking forward to this either."

Each boy had been given their own special challenge for the video, and I was really enjoying watching Reev attempt to put rocks in the boys shoes.

"What's your challenge?" I asked Chris as I caught up to him.

"I need to get someone to believe a fake fact about each mountain." He whispered to the camera.

"That feels alarmingly easy considering the group we're with." I said. He agreed and told me he was already scheming up his first lie to tell Arthur.

We had been climbing for close to two hours by this point, and we were nearing the peak.

"Enjoying yourself love?" George asked me as he took a seat on the rock next to me.

"It's not nearly as bad as I expected it to be, I'll be honest." I snacked on the apple slices I packed, offering one out to George.

We sat in a comfortable silence, watching the others as they bantered back and forth with each other.

I sat and admired George as he laughed, not being able to help myself from laughing along. He had an infectious laugh. Chris caught me staring at George and raised an eyebrow at me. He was the only one of the group who knew I had somewhat of a crush on George. I had unfortunately admitted it to him accidentally after one drink too many during a pub crawl.

We had all gotten up again to keep our pace going up the mountain. The terrain upwards wasn't too bad. The most annoying part by far was having to continue to film while simultaneously making sure I didn't fall down.

"I never thought this would end!" Arthur Hill screamed as we reached the peak.

"I'm sure you're used to hearing that in bed." Harry joked with him patting him on the back.

We all shared a laugh and took in the nice view. It wasn't long before we realized that 'huh, guess we just go down now' and begin to descend the mountain.

I trailed behind Chris and ArthurTV, catching some of their conversation as Chris tried to convince Arthur that some celebrity had been the first person to complete this challenge. I had to actively hold in a giggle as I knew Chris was having him on with his challenge.

During my distracted state, I felt myself slide to the side as my foot hit a loose rock that sent me falling down. Instinctively deciding to protect my camera, I took the full brunt of the fall to my hip and legs.

"Shit, are you alright?" George asked jogging to catch up to me.

Catching my breath after scaring myself with the fall, I nodded towards him. I turned my camera off and stuck it in its carrying bag beside me, examining my ankle.

It was fairly scraped up, and was slightly throbbing. Nothing that felt it would be too crazy but painful nonetheless.

A few of the others called out to see if I was okay. I gave them a thumbs up.

"I'll stay with her and help her down, you guys can go ahead we'll just be a few minutes." George called back to them.

"Does it hurt?" He asked me, grazing his fingertips over my ankle to assess.

"Not a ton, I think I was more shocked by the fall than anything. I'll be fine George, thank you for staying behind with me." I smiled at him, noting his features contorted with uncertainty at my words.

He stood up, holding his hands out for me to help me up. I happily grabbed them and put pressure on my ankle, feeling a tinge of pain but it was bearable.

I stood upright, George still holding onto my hands to make sure I was steady. He never took his eyes off of mine, scanning my face for any sign of pain.

"I'm good George, I promise." He smiled at me, squeezing my hands.

"I think it's time to reveal my challenge to you." His words took me by surprise as I had no idea where this topic had come from.

He let go of my hands, fishing around in his pocket and pulling out a cue card similar to the other boys. He unfolded it and turned it towards me.

In small, easily recognizable handwriting I read off 'tell Y/n you have feelings for her you dumb twat'. Chris. Of course Chris would write that.

I looked back up to him, his face flushed from either embarrassment or anxiety, I couldn't tell.

"I assume what's written there is true?" I asked George, looking to him for confirmation. He nodded, sliding the paper back into his pocket.

We both stood there a little awkwardly for a moment, neither of us being particularly good at the whole admitting feelings thing.

"Your feelings are mutual." I said, cutting the silence. His eyes widened at me, a smile breaking on his features.

He put an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer for a hug.

"How about we talk more about this over dinner once we’re done with the next two mountains?” He propositioned.

I groaned, “I forgot we still have two fucking mountains to go.” He laughed as I pouted.

He slid his hand up to my cheek, bringing his face closer to mine and connecting our lips in a short, sweet kiss.

“This should give you something to look forward to” he said as he pulled away. It was my turn for my cheeks to turn pink. Despite how tired and sweaty we already were, he still looked absolutely perfect.

“I suppose I can make it through as long as you promise not to let me fall again.” He laughed.

“I’ll do my best.”

We walked downwards, eventually catching up with the others who had stopped for a water break.

“Finally you two made it! Began to think you two were shacking up up there!” ArthurTV exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes at him, laughing.

“Not quite shacking up, but my challenge is complete.” George bragged, Chris’ head shot towards us at these words.

“No way.” He said, looking to me for confirmation.

“Yes way” I replied, George put his arm over my shoulder once again and we watched as the mental cogs turned in the other boys heads.

“Oh my god he finally got the balls to tell her!” Arthur Hill screamed, jumping around like a fangirl.

I looked to George who just shook his head in embarrassment. “Did everyone know except me?” I asked only loud enough for him to hear.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

I knew then that the next two mountains would likely be sex jokes and embarrassing stories, and I was weirdly looking forward to it.

#imagine #chrismd #george clarke #george clarkeey #george clarkey #george clarke fics #george clarke fluff #arthur hill #arthurtv

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covenofagatha · 3 days ago

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just realised that on Saturday supposedly the FFF (finger free february) started so now I'll make it my own personal goal to not touch myself for the whole month (ignoring the fact that I already lost the challenge lmao) and its gonna be so hard because you'll be writing and posting so many delicious filth and its gonna ruin me

ALSO, would you THINK reader would make it until the end of the month with g!p Agatha teasing them and making them squirm... 'innocently' brushing he cock against reader's ass, pressing gently against her and making her hiss almost in pain

Or also just being horny and dirty talking all day, for example during breakfast as they both take their coffee and maybe Agatha says "do you like how I made your coffee dear" and reader's like "of course, did you add cream today? It tastes a little.bit different?" And Agatha is smirking and shes smug and her eyes scream i need to bend you over the kitchen island while she says "yeah added MY cream" and you see her palming her cock though her pants and you just gulp and whine as you rub your legs together to get some friction but Agatha puts her hands firmly on your thighs and tuts "oh no darling, you're not supposed to touch yourself, in any way. First of all, it's because we both know that is only mommy's place to touch; second, it's February and it was you who told me you wanted to do this challenge"

She says all that as she gets up from her seat and nears you and whisper in the ear "You told me, no begged me to let you go through this, but never said anything about me teasing you to make you break. And I will break you. Like I always do, cause your role is just to be a whiny little puppy for mommy to use, isnt it?"

And then she just kind of lean and sucks a mark on your neck

btw this is not a request ask, I'd love to know if you had any headcanons about how this ^^^^ could work, because I personally think it would be so hot and frustrating and would be a clear example of how edging worksss and why it is so used

- ✒

I didn't know FFF was a thing (have we all failed?) but I absolutely love this idea and I would be MORE than happy to add some thoughts

It's January 31st, and you're scrolling on your phone in bed after Agatha just thoroughly fucked you, and you see a post about Finger Free February. Before you can think about it, you show Agatha and ask, "Think I could do it?" Agatha smirks and says there is no way you could last an entire month without her touch, so of course you have to commit

However, just the next day you come to regret it when you wake up and find Agatha jerking off next to you, staring at you. You can't resist trying to slide a hand into your pants to relieve some of the heat because watching her touch herself is just too hot, when she tuts and reminds you of the challenge. It's fucking torture when she has you take your shirt off and cums all over your tits and licks herself off while you're squirming underneath her and wondering if it counts if you cum without being touched

It seems like Agatha is just being mean on purpose now, grinding her cock into your ass each time she steps behind you (even when there is MORE than enough space where she doesn't have to touch you at all), pinching your nipples, sucking on your neck and whispering how much mommy misses your cunt in your ear

It's about eight days in when you start purposefully moving away from her whenever she comes near you because you physically can't take it anymore, and of course Agatha is by no means okay with this, so she bends you over her knee and spanks you until you're a sobbing, wet mess and apologizing profusely

"That's my good girl. I'm sorry that mommy is trying to get you to break - I just need you too bad. Come on, honey, let mommy touch you," she purrs and you almost give in right there, but you're ultimately too proud and too stubborn to give in

Not having your cunt available whenever she wants it is making Agatha really struggle too, so she ramps up her efforts to get you to break because at this point, she is also too horny that she can't think straight

She begs you while stroking her cock in front of you, telling you "Look how hard mommy is for you, mommy's cock needs you so bad, baby, please" and fuck, you've never been more wet and needy in your life but you're determined because it's been over half a month and you can't give in now

So you suck her off and she cums down your throat with a loud grunt and you should just throw out your pair of underwear because there's no coming back from how badly you just ruined them

The closest you come to breaking is when you're in the shower with three days to go (even just the thought of Agatha now has you soaked and aching to be filled) and she gets in too. You gasp, already dizzy with need at the proximity of her naked body and hard cock, and she pins you against the wall and kisses down your body and slides her cock in between your pussy lips to just grind her length against you and you think you might just be able to cum from how it feels to have her sliding against your clit and opening

Just before you give in and let your orgasm wash over you, she pulls back and you actually cry out. "You're so close to the end, honey. You can't quit now," Agatha says with a wink and frustrated tears sting your eyes.

On the 28th (thank god it's not a leap year), you start a countdown with a minute until midnight and the moment the clock strikes 12 on March 1st, you practically pounce on Agatha, who has also been eagerly waiting. She shoves two fingers inside you and strokes your clit and you instantly cum, having been on edge for an entire month

She makes you cum until you have to beg her to stop, and then just one more time for good measure because it's been too long and she wants to make sure that you're completely satiated

"Think you'll do it again next year?" she asks teasingly and you shake your head immediately because you know there's no way you could survive that long without her touching you again

But you absolutely cannot wait for No Nut November to turn the tables on her

#asks #agatha harkness x reader #agatha x reader #agatha harkness x fem!reader #agatha x you #agatha harkness x you #agatha harkness smut #agatha smut #✒

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lover-of-mine · 9 hours ago

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Anna I almost fell down the stairs at uni when I saw the video. They're trying to kill us. The colors though!!! Eddie losing all color again??? Now even Buck in gray?? (I'm blanking, when has he been in gray before? I thought maybe the gym scene but his shirt was more blue wasn't it?) I NEED to know your thoughts baby. I'm going crazy.

Maggie baby, I saw the notification on my watch, couldn't click on it and fully sat down on the curb when I did because what the hell?!???

Not only do we have Eddie in no colors again, the emotional turmoil attached to black tank tops is real, like when Chris is lying to him. Also, the way the clothes fit wrong, everything about it is screaming I don't want this to happen. Buck does wear gray a lot, it's his neutral tone, it's half the reason why Buck in sepia tones bothers me so much. But how baggy his clothes look? I'm just !!!!!!!!

I'm so obsessed with the rain of it all considering the way Eddie was literally surrounded by sun at all times last season. Remember the whole Buck searching for light thing and how Eddie was it? To have Eddie leave him in the rain is such a CHOICE.

Ugh I have so many feelings I don't know what to do with myself.

#911 #thoughts thoughts thoughts #buddie #911 spoilers #911 speculation #maggie baby when i tell you im losing it im not kidding #Maggie 💜

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decayed-cartilage · 2 days ago

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The Intern

Hannibal Lecter x AFAB! Reader

Masterlist

Warnings for chapter: power dynamic? Mentions of erection.. creepy! Hannibal, Morally wrong! Hannibal

Synopsis: Y/N is on the brink of graduation, with just one requirement left—an internship. Somehow, she finds herself under the esteemed Dr. Hannibal Lecter, a man as brilliant as he is unreadable. Cold, precise, and impossible to rattle, he keeps his thoughts well-guarded. But Y/N can’t help her curiosity—she wants to understand him, to get beneath the surface. And whether he intends to or not, bit by bit, he lets something slip. Something darker. Something she might not be ready to see.

After what felt like endless hours of writing and submitting, writing and submitting, I finally received an email back from one of the many psychiatrists I’d been desperately trying to reach for my mandatory internship—Dr.Lecter, A prestigious man with many colorful reviews, which had drawn me to contact him.

From: H***********@gmail.com

To: Y/[email protected]

Subject: Internship for Johns Hopkins University

Dear Y/N,

I’ve had the pleasure of reviewing your application and personal portfolio, and I must say—your dedication and talent are impossible to overlook. It’s clear you take your work seriously, and intelligence like yours is always refreshing to encounter. I have no doubt that you would be the perfect young lady for me to mentor

do get in touch at your earliest convenience, and please, use my personal number (***) ***-****

Best,

Doctor Lecter

My heart pounded out of my chest, my eyes scanning his words again and again as warmth flooded my face. Oh god—had I really sent all that? How had I forgotten? Yes—I had sent all of it, in a tired, near-lucid state, exhausted from working so hard. My words had grown almost desperate by the last emails, pleading for validation.

But really? My whole life story? A deep dive into why I chose psychiatry—endless run-ons about trauma and my relentless hope for a better world?

And—oh no—the pictures. Me in scrubs, grinning way too hard, double thumbs-up in front of a cadaver during one of my early tech programs. Or me, beaming like an overexcited tourist beside historical documents, looking ridiculously proud.

Yet, all of that faded as my eyes caught on one thing—his phone number.

I screamed like a teenage girl, shooting up from my seat as I sprinted to grab my phone, my hands shaking as I typed in his number—only to pause.

What do I even say?!

I groaned, throwing myself back onto my bed.

Third person (Hannibal's) P.O.V

Hannibal had been waiting. Days bled into each other, an endless cycle of monotony—listening to insipid patients whine about their problems, assisting in crime cases that barely challenged him, returning home to indulge in his more refined appetites. Even killing had lost its thrill. Nothing ever truly stirred him.

Until your email.

God, the desperation dripped from every word, a quiet, pleading sort of need that sent a slow, curling heat through him. You had laid yourself bare, unaware of what exactly you had just invited into your life. Your tragic little story, the way you carried yourself—so unassuming, so small. So easy.

Just picturing you in his office, lingering in his space, speaking to him with those wide, trusting eyes—his jaw locked, his fingers twitching with restraint.

Staring at the pictures you had attached, Hannibal felt his length twitch, his breath slowing as his free hand drifted—almost absentmindedly—palming himself through the fine fabric of his dress pants. God.

The way your lips curled, the way your smile beamed so effortlessly, so full of warmth—it was intoxicating. A stark contrast to the cold, calculated existence he thrived in. You radiated light, soft and unguarded, utterly unaware of the predator fixated on you.

His throat tightened.

Such an innocent little thing, standing there in your scrubs, so proud, so eager. So trusting. You belonged to a world of laughter and hope, while he—he was carved from shadow and silence, his smile only ever genuine when he was peeling flesh from bone.

And yet, here he was, jaw clenched, breath heavy, wanting.

Needing.

He exhaled sharply, fingers pressing harder against the growing strain beneath his waistband.

Oh, sweet girl… you have no idea what you’ve done.

Ding!

The sharp chime shattered the heavy silence, jolting him from his trance. His phone clattered against the desk, but his eyes were already locked onto the screen. He knew who it was. Of course, he did.

Hannibal was a meticulous man. A careful man. And yet, you had made it so easy for him. Every little detail of your life, carelessly scattered across the internet—your school, your favorite cafés, even the places you liked to study. He knew where you had been before you even told him. He had all of you at his fingertips.

And now, your number. Displayed so innocently on his screen.

"Hello Doctor Lecter! This is Y/n :),I got your acceptance email-"

The preview cut off, but he didn’t need to see the rest to know exactly how you would sound—bubbly, eager, grateful. A stark contrast to the dark amusement curling in his chest.

Still, he unlocked the phone, fingers rolling over the screen, expression unreadable as he took in the rest of your message.

and I just can’t express how grateful I am you responded! It’s even better since I’m attending the same school you did! I would love to set up a time for us to chat in person—I hope I’m not being too informal—if I am, please tell me! Thank you so much for your time!

Such sweetness. Such hope. He could practically hear the nervous excitement laced in your words, see the way your hands might have trembled as you typed, wondering if you were saying too much, if you sounded proper enough for him.

He exhaled slowly, his jaw tightening, his fingers pressing into the screen just a little harder than necessary.

You had no idea what you had just invited into your world.

He began typing.

I’m pleased to hear from you so soon. Why don’t we meet somewhere comfortable? Perhaps a coffee shop—there’s a lovely one, [your favorite coffee shop], that I hear is quite popular. It seems like the perfect setting for our first conversation. Let me know when you’re available, and I’ll gladly adjust my schedule.

And please, don’t worry about being too informal. I much prefer sincerity. I look forward to meeting you, properly.

With that, he sent the message, his thumb hovering over the screen for just a second longer than necessary before finally setting the phone down. It slid across his desk with a soft thud, the only sound in the stillness of his office.

Hannibal exhaled slowly, a drawn-out sigh that did little to temper the hunger curling inside him.

You had been on his mind long before your message arrived, but now? Now, you were real. Tangible. Just a text away.

And soon, within reach.

Rolling his shoulders, he adjusted his cuffs with careful precision, though it did little to distract from the heat simmering beneath his skin. His jaw tightened. He needed a walk. Fresh air. A moment to compose himself before his thoughts spiraled into something indulgent.

His lips curled slightly as he stepped away from his desk, anticipation thrumming in his veins.

You had no idea what you had just done.

But you would.

YOUR POV

Ding!

I was too nervous to look at his message right away. My fingers hovered over my phone, heart hammering so loudly it drowned out all rational thought. When I finally mustered the courage to open it, my face went hot instantly.

He mentioned my favorite café.

Had he been there before? Was he that local? Had I somehow missed him in the crowd? My stomach twisted at the thought—equal parts exhilaration and unease. It wasn’t strange for someone to know about it; it was a well-loved spot, after all. But the way he said it, so casually yet deliberately, made my skin prickle.

I let out a small, breathless giggle, my lips pressing together as I read over his words again. I needed to calm down. Breathe, Y/N. Act normal. But I wasn’t normal. Not right now. I was too warm, too jittery, too caught up in the weight of his attention.

A walk. I needed a walk.

Without responding, I shoved my phone into my pocket and grabbed my jacket off the hook by the door. My scarf—a soft, muted rainbow of colors—was next, the familiar knit worn and comforting against my fingers.

"I know it gets cold out there Y/nn! You're taking this scarf with you- it's my dying wish!"

I could still hear my mother’s voice, warm with fond exasperation, as she fussed over me before I left for college. The memory made me smile.

I wrapped the scarf snugly around my neck, letting the soft wool shield me from the crisp autumn air seeping in through the doorframe. My outfit was hardly practical for the weather, but I had always dressed like this—formally, neatly, a habit ingrained into me since childhood. A plaid skirt, fitted but flaring just above my knees, swayed as I moved. Tights helped ward off the chill, but only just. My dark grey moccasins were polished and proper, and beneath my heavy coat, I wore a delicate white button-up. The heart embroidery around the collar was my mother’s handiwork—stitched with care, meant to remind me of home.

Despite the structured appearance, I was anything but composed. Anyone who truly knew me would recognize the contrast between my polished exterior and the nervous, sweet-natured girl underneath.

I stepped outside into the cold, the late autumn air nipping at my nose and cheeks, turning them pink within seconds. The streets were quiet, save for the occasional rustling of leaves tumbling along the pavement.

The walk stretched on longer than I had planned. What started as a way to clear my head turned into an aimless journey, my feet carrying me farther and farther from my starting point. By the time I thought to check the time, my phone screen flashed 4:07 PM.

Four hours. Four hours.

I had wandered nearly halfway across the city, lost in my thoughts, replaying that message over and over in my head like a song I couldn’t turn off. The crisp autumn air had settled deep in my bones, my fingers stiff despite being tucked into my coat pockets. My legs ached, but I wasn’t ready to go home just yet.

That was when I noticed it—the quiet hum of a near-empty park, tucked away from the city’s usual noise. Golden leaves fluttered from the branches above, painting the pavement in warm hues. It was peaceful here, the kind of place where no one would bother me, where I could sit for just a moment and-

That was when I noticed him.

A figure moving toward me, his steps slow, measured, deliberate.

At first, I didn’t think much of it. Just another passerby enjoying the evening air, someone else drawn to the quiet solitude of the park. But something about the way he walked made my breath catch—a smooth, unhurried grace, like a man who never rushed for anything.

My brows furrowed as I squinted. Damn it, I forgot my glasses.

I could make out the tall, well-built frame beneath a long, dark coat, the way his shoulders sat perfectly squared, the way his hands—gloved—rested easily at his sides, as if he carried nothing but time and patience.

A strange feeling stirred in my chest, a quiet knowing before my brain even caught up.

Then, as he stepped into the golden glow of the late afternoon sun, everything clicked into place.

The sharp, unmistakable features. The neatly combed dark hair. The slight tilt of his head, like he had already recognized me long before I had recognized him.

Dr. Lecter.

Oh God.

My stomach flipped so violently I thought I might actually double over. What was he doing here? Had he seen me before I saw him? Was he here because of me, or was this just some freakishly timed coincidence?

My brain scrambled for an appropriate reaction—anything other than standing there like an idiot, heart hammering in my throat.

My cheeks burned before I could stop them, heat creeping up my neck, traitorous and undeniable. I must look ridiculous right now—flushed, wide-eyed, completely caught off guard.

But there was no turning back. He was already close enough that ignoring him would be rude. Unprofessional.

So, I did the only thing I could think of.

I forced my stiff fingers to move, lifting a hand in a small, hesitant wave.

And then—I smiled. Nervous, flustered, but hopefully not as painfully obvious as I felt.

"H-Hi, Doctor!" I blurted out, my voice coming out softer than I intended, almost breathless.

I forced a smile, though I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks. My big, wide eyes locked onto him, searching his face for any sign of reaction.

A second passed.

Then another.

My stomach twisted, dread creeping in. Did I mess up? Did I sound stupid? The silence stretched just long enough to make my pulse stutter.

"I-It’s Y/N—" I started, my voice unsteady, but before I could finish, he cut me off.

"I know it’s you, sweetheart."

My breath hitched.

His voice was smooth, effortlessly composed, dripping with confidence in a way that made my skin tingle. He looked down at me with an amused sort of curiosity, his gaze steady, unwavering—like he was taking his time, drinking in every little reaction, every tiny shift in my expression.

"How funny is it," he continued, his lips curving slightly, "that I should run into you here—right after we had just spoken?"

I swallowed hard. My stomach flipped again, my nerves unraveling by the second.

He was so calm. So composed. And here I was, standing there like a nervous wreck, my thoughts scattering like leaves in the wind.

Whatever little confidence I had managed to build up crumbled beneath the weight of his presence. My body felt too warm despite the crisp autumn air, and I could hear the rush of my own pulse in my ears. Still, I forced myself to nod, hoping it looked casual—hoping he couldn’t tell just how flustered I was.

"It’s t-totally crazy!" I rushed out, my voice a little too high, a little too eager. I winced at myself, clearing my throat and trying again, desperate to sound normal. "I-I mean, I wasn’t even paying attention to where I was going. I must’ve wandered too far—I couldn’t even tell you where I am right now if I’m being honest."

I let out a nervous laugh, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear, willing my hands to stop fidgeting. My cheeks burned, and I prayed it looked like nothing more than the bite of the cold air rather than the sheer excitement buzzing beneath my skin.

I had imagined meeting him—dreamed of it even. But now that he was standing in front of me, watching me with that unreadable gaze, I felt like my legs might give out beneath me.

"I'm really sorry you had to meet me like this," I blurted, my voice smaller than I intended. My fingers fidgeted with the hem of my jacket sleeves, twisting the fabric as I dared to glance up at him. His eyes—sharp, knowing—made my stomach flip. God, why did he have to look at me like that?

"I promise I would have been more presentable— and- l-less shocked—I'm very sorry," I squeaked, heat rushing to my face as I dropped my gaze again, mortified by how utterly flustered I was.

A deep hum left him, measured and deliberate. "There is no need for an apology, hon," Hannibal said smoothly, the richness of his voice wrapping around me like silk. "You present yourself in a manner most... revealing."

He tilted his head, gaze unwavering, studying me as though he were unraveling something unseen. "There is an honesty in moments like these. A rare and unguarded glimpse into one's truest nature."

My breath caught in my throat. What—what did he mean by that?

I tried to piece it together, but the warmth in his eyes, the weight of his words, left me grasping at nothing.

I nodded at his words, dumbly, still trying to process the way he spoke, the way his voice felt like silk wrapping around my thoughts. But then, like a slap to the face, realization struck.

Oh no.

He definitely saw that I had read his message but never responded.

My stomach twisted as I stepped closer, suddenly feeling the need to explain myself, to fix whatever impression that might’ve given. "I—I meant to text back!" The words left me in a rush, my hands gripping the hem of my sleeves anxiously. "I just got too excited—" I stopped abruptly, my breath catching as my face burned. Too excited? Oh god. That sounded ridiculous. Desperate.

"I mean—" I scrambled to recover, shaking my head quickly. "Not excited��well, I mean, yes, excited, but not in a weird way! Just… I thought I should wait until I wasn’t so—so—" I let out a nervous laugh, utterly failing to dig myself out of the hole I was sinking into.

Hannibal tilted his head ever so slightly, watching me with that same unreadable expression, his lips curving just enough to make my stomach twist even further.

"There’s no need to fluster yourself on my account," he said, his voice smooth, deliberate. "Some things are best expressed in their rawest form, unfiltered… unguarded."

I swallowed hard, my mind racing, trying to decipher his words. Was he talking about my message—or something else entirely?"I—I completely agree!" I rushed out, still trying to steady myself, my heart hammering against my ribs. "But—still—I mean, we should set up a time. Whenever you’d like, of course."

I offered a small, nervous smile, shifting slightly on my feet, hoping I sounded even the slightest bit composed.

Third person (Hannibal's) pov

Hannibal watched you with quiet amusement, his sharp eyes taking in every flustered movement, every nervous breath. You were trying so hard to sound composed, but the way your words tumbled out—rushed, uncertain—betrayed you.

"I—I completely agree!" you blurted, your voice carrying that same delightful eagerness from your emails. "But—still—I mean, we should set up a time. Whenever you’d like, of course."

You shifted on your feet, offering a small, nervous smile, as if willing yourself to appear more put together. How endearing. You had no idea how much you were giving away. Hannibal let the moment stretch just a second longer than necessary, letting you stew in the weight of his gaze before finally offering a slow, knowing smile.

"How about now, then?" Hannibal’s voice was smooth, effortlessly calm. "It seems the only thing occupying you at this moment is our conversation. I don’t mind in the slightest."

He watched as you blinked, clearly caught off guard. Your fingers twitched at your sides, your lips parting slightly as if scrambling for a response. You hadn’t expected that—hadn’t considered that he might take control of the moment so easily, turning your nervous rambling into something entirely inescapable.

Of course, he knew you wouldn’t say no. You had been so eager, so desperate for this opportunity, your emails practically dripping with the need to prove yourself. The way you sought validation was almost endearing—so open, so unaware of just how much you had already given away.

And now, standing before him, you couldn’t hide it. The excitement in your eyes, the nervous energy humming beneath your skin. You were trying so hard to play it cool, but he could see it all—the way your breath hitched, the way you hesitated for just a second too long.

He let the silence stretch, just enough to make you squirm, his face giving no hints to how he felt.

"Oh! Of course! Now is perfect!" she blurts out, nodding far too quickly, her voice pitching higher than she probably intended. She grips the hem of her coat, wringing the fabric between her fingers, as if the motion might tether her to reality—might stop her from unraveling beneath her own nervous energy.

How utterly transparent.

I say nothing for a moment, only watching, taking in the way she fidgets, the way her pulse flutters just beneath the delicate skin of her throat. She is trying so very hard to maintain composure, but she is failing spectacularly.

She doesn’t realize how much she gives away. How easily every flicker of emotion plays across her face. It is almost endearing—the way she fights against her excitement, attempting to suppress it, as if I cannot already see through her.

And yet, there is something else beneath the surface. Something softer, untouched by the weight of the world’s cruelty. A rare thing, fragile and sweet.

My lips curl slightly.

She swallows hard, her breath quickening, the silence stretching just long enough for uncertainty to creep in. I can almost feel the way her mind races, second-guessing herself, wondering if she has said too much or too little.

Finally, I incline my head in a slow, deliberate motion.

"Perfect," I murmur, watching as her breath hitched

A/N oh my god I think is the first fanfic I've written since I was like ten, so if you like it tell me :) and if you don't, also tell me. I hope everyone is doing well and I hope to write more, or leave suggestions! Big kisses everyone :3

#Spotify #hannibal #hannibal lecter #hannibal lecter x reader #hannibal x reader #x reader #dark fic #slashers #slasher #slasher x reader #slowburn #dead dove do not eat

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ggensblog · 1 day ago

Text

we're just making it worse | r.j.l.

back to series masterlist | back to main masterlist

part one: the invitation

contains: remus lupin x fem!reader, modern! no magic! au, swearing, angst, jealousy, let me know if i missed anything !

word count: 1.8k

100 days before the wedding..

“I just don’t understand why you couldn’t take this one day off- this was important to me, Remus!” you’re fuming, pacing in your kitchen, trying to find something to do with your hands. You opt to put some of the drying dishes away, almost grounding yourself.

“My work is important to me- I thought you of all people would understand that!” Remus is standing in the doorway, watching you, trying to get your attention. “You’re always going, going, going, you never stop for a second and realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you!” This stops you. You turn around, a whole new fire burning in your chest.

“I am not the one that completely blew off my girlfriend’s event to sit in a fucking office for a couple more hours-”

“No but you are the one that missed our anniversary last month.”

You huff and turn back around, continuing to put the dishes away. Why were there so many of them?

“There you go again! Just keep going, maybe you’ll avoid this conversation like you do the other ones.”

“This is hardly a conversation, Remus.” you mutter, putting the last cup in the cabinet before turning and leaning against the sink. Your arms crossed against your chest. “You said you would be there.” Your throat was tight, and you swallowed in an attempt to choke down any emotions that would send you into a spiral.

“And I said I'm sorry. I would have been there if I could but-”

“They needed you. I got that. But I needed you too, Remus.”

There is a moment of complete silence in the room, and you’re thankful that Pandora had chosen to stay at Xenophilius’s place that night.

“You know what, you’re right. We’re too busy for this.”

“For what-”

“For this relationship, Rem. I see my coworkers more than I see you and I know for a fact it’s the same for you.” You look down to your feet for a moment then back up to meet Remus’s eyes. His jaw was set, not quite clenched, but tense with the air of the room.

“What are you saying- that we should call it quits?”

As soon as those words left his mouth you wanted to cry. To crumble and apologize for everything. To take it all back. But instead, you shrugged. “Maybe it’s what we need. It isn’t healthy to keep putting ourselves through this- this hell.” Your arms drop to your sides and your gaze shifts to the clock on the oven.

“If that’s what you want.” You look back to Remus when you hear him move out of the kitchen. You watch him take his coat and phone and put on his shoes. You want to scream as you watch him walk out the door, shutting it with a slight force as he leaves.

As soon as you’re left in the dim light of the kitchen by yourself, you slide down to the floor and bury your head in your hands as the first tears fall.

Your phone begins to ring on the counter, you stand and see Pandora’s name light up the screen.

“Hello?” you sniff.

“Are you okay?” She asks on the other line, concern dripping from her tone.

“How did you-”

“I had a feeling. What happened?”

You took a deep breath, but it didn’t do much as you choked on your sobs, muttering words you didn’t think you would.

“We broke up.”

✩°｡⋆˚⁺

38 days before the wedding..

You stared down at the piece of cardstock in your hands. You had just gotten home from a particularly long shift and found an envelope with a note from Pandora that just said ‘be home late tonight, xx’. You opened the ornate envelope and pulled at the piece of cardstock and a few other pieces of paper.

Save the Date! Lily and James are Getting Married!

The back of the cardstock had the date and location details. The second piece of paper held further details about the dress code and reception. The last piece of paper was the RSVP card. A few tick boxes sat with various prompts such as whether you’d be attending, what you wanted for the rehearsal dinner and reception dinner, and if you were bringing a date.

The More the Merrier! We encourage you to bring your plus one to help us celebrate this special day!

You sighed, and stuffed the pages into the envelope once more. You were overjoyed that Lily and James had finally decided on a date and you were honored to have been invited, but the thought of bringing someone to the wedding that wasn’t Remus made your stomach churn.

The More the Merrier!

You took the envelope into your room and sat it down on your desk before throwing yourself into bed.

✩°｡⋆˚⁺

37 days until the wedding..

“There she is!”

Your friends smiled as you sat down at the table. The restaurant bustling around you as you settled into your monthly lunch, a long-standing tradition since you graduated university to keep in touch.

“Sorry I’m late- Greg wouldn’t leave me alone.” You mentally cursed your chatty co-worker who happened to catch you as you were packing up for the day. Dorcas waved your excuse off, passing you a carafe of water. You happily poured yourself a glass.

“So what’s new?” you looked up to the rest of the group. Dorcas, Regulus, Pandora, Evan, and Barty sat around you and you felt the weight of the day slip from your shoulders. Dorcas leaned over to reach for something in her bag, then revealed a familiar envelope.

“Are we going to talk about this? I can’t believe those two finally decided on the details. You lot are all going- right?” Pandora scoffed lightheartedly.

“Of course! Lily asked me to be a bridesmaid 2 weeks ago- it has been torture keeping it secret!” She exclaimed, leaning her head on your shoulder. You laughed, picking at one of the plates of appetizers on the table.

Barty flew into conversation with Dorcas about how he was surprised he and Evan were invited but excited nonetheless, Regulus mentioned something about Sirius being the best man and needing to go because it might be the only time he sees his brother in a formal suit. You laughed along as the conversation came easy.

“Are you going to bring a date?” Pandora asked the general group- though everyone already knew that Barty and Evan would inevitably go together and Dorcas would be there with Marlene. Pandora was without a doubt going with her long-term partner, and that left you and Regulus to try and deflect the topic onto the other.

Unfortunately Regulus’s wit was too quick for you.

“Sirius said something about Remus having a date.” Eyes turned to you. In that moment your seat at the table no longer felt like an inviting rest and more of an interrogation.

“Really! That bloke managed to convince someone to spend an entire evening with him?” Barty blurted, trying to ease the tension. Evan shoved his elbow at him.

“Good for him,” You tried to hide behind your glass as you gulped down the rest of your water. You wished you could have stopped yourself from what you said next.

“I actually have someone I’m thinking of asking as well.” This managed to raise the brows of even Regulus.

“Really? You’ve been seeing someone and you haven’t told us?” Dorcas’s face twisted into one of betrayal. You wanted to kick yourself, your competitive jealousy taking over your common sense.

“Uhm- not really, just someone I’m thinking about asking. Since plus-ones are encouraged and all.” This was painfully awkward. You needed an out. Thankfully your borderline-psychic roommate caught on to your agony, perking up.

"Speaking of- oh my gosh did you hear that Alice and Frank are pregnant?" You made a mental note to thank Pandora later at home, because the group- the gossip fiends they are- immediately turned to Pandora and throwing questions at her.

You, however, looked down to your phone and mindlessly checked the time, letting your thoughts wander.

Was Remus really bringing someone? Sure it had been two months already, but did he really move on that quickly? Who was he bringing? Were they someone you knew? What if they-

Pandora lightly kicked your leg under the table, sparing a sympathetic glance your way before diving back into her latest piece of gossip.

You were quiet for the rest of the lunch, chiming in here and there about what was new and old in your life the past month. Once you all wrapped up, you were quick to grab Pandora and head out the door and towards home.

You thought you were in the clear from any further poking and prodding at your shoddy story. You should have known better because the moment the door closed behind you, before your shoes were even off, Pandora was opening her mouth.

“So who is this mystery person you’re ‘thinking of asking’ to the wedding?” the air-quotations were sign enough that she was calling your bluff. You sighed, throwing your keys into the bowl by the door and walking over to collapse on the couch.

“There isn’t anyone- I just didn’t want to look like I was still hung up on- him, when he’s clearly moved on.” Pandora joined you on the couch, criss-crossing her legs and facing you. She placed a hand on your knee, her eyes wide and full of wisdom you wish you could tap into.

“There isn’t anything wrong with going to the wedding alone. I don’t think anyone would judge you. But if you did want to bring someone, you have plenty of time to find them. Anyone would be lucky to go with you.” She offered a soft smile that you returned. You nodded, taking a deep breath and finally relaxing for the first time since you sat down at lunch.

“I know- it just feels like he’s 10 steps forward and I’m losing or something.” You shrugged. Pandora shook her head, “It isn’t a competition, but leave it to you two to make it into one.” She patted your knee once then stood from the couch and moved towards the kitchen.

You sat there thinking, of course it wasn’t a competition, but if it was you were behind. You couldn’t turn up to the wedding empty-armed while Remus lived in bliss with whoever he was bringing.

“Hey- did you hear me?” You blinked, then turned, “I asked if you wanted some tea.” Pandora repeated, her brows drawn together in concern. You nodded wordlessly then looked down to your phone, a new-found determination filling you.

You could totally find a date to the wedding. Like Pandora said, you have plenty of time and plenty of options. It was just a matter of ‘who’.

a/n: here we go! part one of this fic! i hope you all enjoy, and i would love to hear your thoughts! see you in the next part !

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milkoomi · 1 day ago

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Hi I adore you and your blog, you definitely inspire me. Do you have any advice for students who are behind in their studies?

hi lovely anon!! thank you so so much for your kindness and support towards me and my blog! it means so much to me that there are people like you who get inspired because of what i’ve created! so thank you!! 🤍

academic track reset tips. ᥫ᭡

falling behind is extremely anxiety inducing and can feel disastrously overwhelming. i promise you, i’ve been there before and i completely understand the dread that comes with it. you feel one too many steps behind everyone else and it feels like the workload is suffocating you. but i promise you can get yourself back up and on track again!

let’s begin …

୨ৎ — gentle reminders

first and foremost, i want you to know that you will be okay. things happen in life that we can’t always control, but i promise it’s 100% okay! you will get through this and you will get back to where you need to be! you aren’t a failure just because you’re behind.

think of it this way: let’s say you have a really good book that you’ve been reading for fun (or maybe there’s a show you’ve been watching!) but you had to take some time away from reading, but with any good book or show you’re watching, you can always come back to it and pick up where you left off! it isn’t going anywhere!

faustina’s official guide to getting back on track:

୨ৎ — emotional & situational processing

take some time to process your emotions because i’m sure there’s quite a few things you’re feeling right now!

let your feelings flow

cry, scream into a pillow, angrily scribble all your emotions and thoughts onto paper; just do whatever it is you need to do to let your feelings out (in a healthy manner of course). give yourself some time to feel your emotions, but don’t let it draw on!

journal dump: write down everything you’re feeling and thinking, talk about how stressed out and anxious you are, vent about how disappointed you feel. just dump it all in writing!

reach out to a loved one: if you need a shoulder to cry on, don’t hesitate to talk to someone close to you! your friends, family, and other loved ones are there to support you!

reflect on your situation

i personally either wrote in my journal, talked to my therapist, or even just simply thought about my situation alone, but take some time to reflect on what’s going on.

how’s your health? could there maybe be some underlying mental/emotional/physical health issues causing you to fall behind?

what does your day-to-day schedule/routine look like? do you have enough time during your days to focus on school while still being able to balance your work/personal life?

what does your work load look like? do assignments & exams pile up too quickly for you? are you maybe unintentionally procrastinating? maybe there are things outside of school that have been piling up?

it’s good to answer these questions for yourself and figure out what exactly is causing you to fall behind. what’s going on at the core of it all? once you find your answer(s), it’s time to start reworking and tweaking some things.

୨ৎ — health check-up

sometimes our health can hinder us from staying on track, keeping up with school, and even keeping up with things going on outside of school! maybe we’ve been getting sick more recently and our bodies have been putting more energy into fighting off infections that they’ve become weaker and lack the energy to do other things. or maybe our mental health isn’t where we need it to be. maybe we’re experiencing a depressive episode or there have been things going on in your personal life that have been causing you immense amounts of anxiety that’s leading your focus away from your studies.

physical health

schedule a doctor’s appointment! you could probably get yourself a note to bring to your school/professors that could allow you a grace period for you to get caught up with your studies! it’s also good to have regular doctors visits to make sure your physical health is where it needs to be.

fuel for your body! are you eating well enough? are you staying hydrated? make sure your body has all the nutrients it needs to stay energized! sometimes we don’t realize we’re neglecting our nutritional needs, so be sure to have any and all necessary meals and that you’re getting enough hydration!

recharging every night! are you getting enough sleep? is the sleep you’re getting good? do you feel well-rested when you wake up? be mindful of your body’s energy! sleep is extremely important and lack of sleep can cause lack of motivation for just about anything, so be sure you’re getting a good night’s rest every night.

mental health

self care! i can’t stress enough how important self care is in your daily routine. please always take care of yourself. do something that makes you happy and make sure you’re giving your mind what it needs.

counseling! lots of schools, if not all schools have counselors on their campus. if therapy isn’t a financial option for you right now, please don’t hesitate to seek out your school’s counselor. they’re there to help you through whatever it is you may need! (& it’s quite literally they’re job!)

୨ৎ — rescheduling your schedule

think about your current daily routine. there might be some things within your routine that just might not be working out for you. you might have too many extracurriculars, maybe your work hours are overloaded and take too much of your time, or maybe you’re not setting aside enough time in your day to work on schoolwork.

lessen your load

while having extracurriculars is wonderful for your academic career, sometimes you can have too many of them. keeping up with club meetings, late night/early morning athletics trainings, events that take place during your class times; there’s a lot of things that extracurriculars do that may be taking a lot of your time away from you and your studies.

keep your extracurriculars to a minimum: 1-2 max! you have so much time to build up on extracurriculars for university admissions and job applications, i promise! but you have to consider your current schoolwork load and make sure you’re able to balance both extracurriculars and your studies!

if you are trying to balance your school & work life, be sure you remember what takes priority: your studies! if you feel like your work schedule is overpowering your time to study, it may be time to lessen your work hours.

talk with your bosses! set up a meeting with your mangers or send them an email letting them know you need to start working less. let them know that your studies take priority right now and you need the time to focus on school.

part-time over full-time! being a full-time student and a full-time employee can lead to burn out. while it is possible to balance both, it’s definitely 100x harder. it’s okay to work part-time! and just remember: your studies will lead you to a better job!

weekly planning

you might want to start creating a general plan for your week! it doesn’t have to be super detailed, but have at least an overview of what your week will look like!

create small task lists! have certain days contain a small, achievable list of tasks to complete! again, detail doesn’t matter, you don’t have to write down specific assignments but you can write which classes you want to work on for those days!

for each day, have an hourly schedule! maybe from 5am-6am to you want to be up & out of bed and by 12pm-2pm you want to get some schoolwork done! don’t feel the need to create something extravagant and go by each hour, keep it as general as possible.

the key is to keep your weekly (or even daily) planning simple! don’t try to jump right into having detailed schedules and plans, that can cause more stress than help.

designated study days

to go off of weekly planning, try setting aside specific days during your week that are entirely dedicated to getting schoolwork & studying done!

my personal schoolwork/study days…

saturday/sunday (i try to dedicate at least one of those days to rest, relaxation, & more personal things! so maybe one week saturday will be my work day and sunday will be my rest day)

monday - wendesday (mondays & wednesdays are the days i have class, but i’m off from work mon-wed so i have so much more time on mondays & wednesdays to get some work or studying done!)

of course, you can start off small! i actually encourage you to start off small! maybe two days out of the week will be your designated days or maybe you’ll only have one day out of the week! and that’s okay!

୨ৎ — baby steps lead to giant leaps

from my previous points, i really emphasized simplicity & starting off small. here’s why: slowly chipping away at something will still show great amounts of progress!

don’t feel like you have to take on huge amounts of work to get back into the swing of things. if anything, biting off more than you can chew will cause you to choke on even more stress!

step 1: talk with advisors/counselors/teachers

the first step to officially getting back on track in school is meeting with your advisors, teachers, and pretty much any faculty members that will help you! (and i promise they will help you! it’s their job to make sure you succeed as a student and they’ll always encourage you to reach out for help!)

step 2: meet with tutors

there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a tutor! they do more than just help with understanding class content! they also help you with time management, organization, and study techniques/methods! plus, 9 times out of 10, those tutors are fellow students, so they know and understand better than anyone else what it’s like dealing with the stress of school as a student!

step 3: riding the completion coaster

this is the part where you can start completing assignments/tasks that need to get done! again, don’t overload yourself! start small! this is where slowly chipping away at your assignments comes in!

prioritize! which classes take priority? which assignments have the closest due dates? what exams are coming up the soonest? whatever needs to get done first is your first priority!

pomodoro method! i’ve talked about this productivity-time technique a plethora of times here on my blog, but it’s a wonderful work method that not only encourages you to get work done within a set amount of time but it also allows you to get very much needed breaks in as well!

tina’s productivity tip: there’s this little method i’ve created for myself where i write down on a little sticky note or separate piece of paper “prizes” that i get for when i complete an assignment or task called “recognize the prize”! the prizes are super simple things that still make me really happy (incorporating psychology techniques here lol)! i keep that little sticky note/paper with my prizes close by so i can remind myself what i’m working towards!

examples of how i do it…

assignment: lab workbook ch. 4, pages x & y

prize: take a break to eat a kitkat bar (i love kitkats hehe)

task: study for 1 hour

prize: watch one youtube video (no longer than 20 minutes)

assignment: online homework

prize: play a video game for 20 minutes

final notes —

falling behind sucks, but it happens and i hope you know that it’s completely normal! just remember: being behind & needing to catch up does not, and never will, define you as a failure. we aren’t made to be perfect students; there’s no such thing as a “perfect” student. strive for progress, not perfection!

you have the ability to get caught up with your studies! please don’t best yourself up for not being where you want to be right now. show yourself some grace because you’re only human at the end of the day.

with lots of love, faustina 🌷

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sylus-little-meow-meow · 3 days ago

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The Sleepover: Part 3

She's back with Sylus again.

But it's that day.

The day she finally decided to end things.

He's standing in “their” room, his gaze distant, like always and that's something she could never change no matter how many times she tried.

She could wear the most gorgeous gowns or a potato sack and he'd simply give her a once over and a non committal “you look lovely” before he went back to whatever he was doing, his gaze never lingering.

He's changing out of his robe and into something more befitting of a leader.

She's never even seen him in casual wear.

Sylvia: Sylus?

Sylus: Yes, kitten?

He doesn't look in her direction, doesn't note the shift in her tone.

Sylvia looks at her fingers.

Sylvia: You're never going to love me in the way I do you, are you?

The man freezes on the spot, his fingertips hovering over a black button down before he withdraws his hand.

Sylus: Where is this coming from all of a sudden?

Sylvia gives a laugh, but it's hollow just like this entire relationship.

Sylvia: You're dancing around the question. You don't want to answer it, do you?

Sylus: Kitten—

He turns around but she slips off of the bed, fighting back tears as she yanks off the shit she tried using to impress Sylus in the bedroom, the see through nightgown about as appetizing to him as a box of stale crackers.

She's biting her lip so hard it's almost bleeding.

What's worse?

Having an ex so obsessed with you to the point they'd kill one of the most precious people in your life?

Or one who doesn't care at all?

Granted, at least with Sylus she'd still have her older sister.

But she doesn't have either because her love life is a mess and every man she chooses is just…

She shouldn't feel hurt towards Sylus.

This is nothing in comparison to what she went through, but the frustration of him agreeing to date her despite the fact he probably knew he'd never love her is too much.

Because she loves him.

Right down to her core she knows she's fallen in love with him.

And that's why she needs to let him go.

This will always be one sided and it's become clear there's someone else out there he's looking for.

She can see it in the way his gaze sweeps over every destination, like some part of him is missing and maybe he thought it was her once upon a time, but now they both know better.

It isn't her.

So she goes to the closet, moving him out of the way as she begins to collect her things.

Her jaw is clenched and her eyes are hard.

Outwardly she'll show anger, yet on the inside she's crying for him to stop her.

For some small part of him to care.

Sylus: What are you doing, kitten?

Sylvia: Nothing you need to worry about. I'm done here. This was fun, but I think it's time we cut things off.

Sylus looks down at her.

She internally pleads for him to hold her back, to lightly grab her wrist, to ask her to stop what she's doing but he doesn't.

Instead he steps back.

Sylus: If that's what you truly want, kitten.

Her hand pauses.

Sylvia: If you really think this is what I want you should go fuck yourself.

She yanks the last piece of clothing off the hanger and spins towards him, the tears threatening to spill over, but she won't allow them to because Sylus doesn't deserve her vulnerability.

Sylvia: I wanted love and I wanted a partner. You've made it clear you don't want to act as either of those for me. You're not even present in this relationship.

Sylus stares at her, the quiet expanding between them and her outburst.

There's not even a flair or hint of emotion in his eyes.

She wants to cry.

She wants to scream.

She wants to throw something just to get him to react to her presence at all.

But she doesn't.

Instead she stalks past him, her gaze trained forward, eyes on a door that will open and shut for the very last time.

Sylvia: Send me the rest of my things when you get the chance. Try not to forget because I know half the time you forgot I was even your girlfriend. Have a nice life, Sylus.

She says and then slams the door behind her.

When she sees Mephisto, she ducks her head to hide oncoming tears.

It's over.

They're done.

The memory turned dream fades as a cool hand brushes against her forehead.

Sylvia: Sylus…?

She murmurs, nuzzling her face into that same hand, pressing it more into her cheek with her own.

Sylvia: Did you come back for me…?

Her voice cracks, tears seeping through her closed eyes.

She buries her face into his palm. Did he finally see her after all this time?

The voice doesn't say anything, but the hand tries pulling away and Sylvia clings tighter, not wanting to let go of this one small gesture.

Sylvia: Don't go.

Sylvia: Please.

She sounds pathetic, pleading like this, but she can't help it.

If he's here now, even if this is a dream, she doesn't want to let him go. She wants him to stay.

She's completely forgotten that Sylus already moved on with another.

All she knows is that one small gesture from Sylus proving that their time meant something to him would mean everything to her.

Sylvia: Don't go.

She says again and feels the hand shift, no longer trying to pull away and her body relaxes as a second one brushes the hair out of her face.

They're surprisingly gentle.

Caring.

She manages to slip into a peaceful sleep, feeling the hands of someone who cares about her.

************************************

Felix awoke to the sounds of Sylvia calling out in her sleep.

He got up off the couch and found her tangled up in her bedsheets, her face flushed and beads of sweat trickling into her hairline.

Did she feel sick?

Did she need to throw up?

He approached her and gently touched her cheek.

Then he heard a name.

Sylvia: Sylus…?

She said it so quietly, her voice cracking at the last syllable.

Felix stiffened and attempted to pull away, not wanting to confuse her if she fully woke up.

But she held fast.

She asked Sylus to stay.

And it killed Felix that it wasn't him she was asking, but some other man.

He swallowed his pride, ducking his head as he warred with himself, wondering if there was even a right choice.

In the end, the hopeful expression on Sylvia's face—her eyes still closed—made him shift closer and brush the strands of hair off of her forehead with gentle finger tips.

She relaxed then, a content smile finding its way to her lips.

Felix didn't leave until he knew she was fully asleep.

She didn't need to wake up and have her dreams crushed when she realized it was him.

Felix goes to leave, but pauses at the doorway, looking back at Sylvia, her silver hair mussed, her face clear of makeup which softens her features.

It's looking at her that Felix realizes Sylvia wasn't the only one in this room with an unrequited love, wondering what it would be like if Sylvia looked at him like she did with Sylus.

He'll probably never know.

He won't ask that of her.

She's got more on her plate than just a man who didn't return her feelings.

So he gently shuts the door behind him and pads over to the couch, lying in wake for the rest of the night.

#sylus angst #love and deepspace sylus #love and deepspace #sylus love and deepspace #sylvia #sylus #sylus fic #lads sylus #felix

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lyracarvahall · 1 day ago

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HeartBeat Sync Part 17

The Show Must Go On

Making her way behind her men to the backstage, she watched with pride as they took their positions on the stage. As she saw Yunho scratch his face before the curtain pulled up she realized...they didn't cover their marks up. She began to panic. All of her men turned to look at her with concern and she began pointing to the marks on her body. They looked amoungst each other and shrugged, making an obvious sign they didn't care what people thought.

She started pantomiming "Are you crazy?!"

They smirked and marched down the stage as the music cued up. Wooyoung shot her a wink before he walked down. Oh they were in big trouble.....

Y/N made sure to check social media feeds throughout the show and ATINY caught on really fast. Showing clips of Seonghwa's chair dance with his mark visible under his ponytail. Showing Yunho's hand gripping the microphone. Showing San in his leather vest with the zigzags extremely visible. Fuck.....

Halfway through the show they took a couple of minutes to check in with their soulmate as they had felt her panic the entire time. They all piped in.

"Honey it will be alright. The management is working on a PR plan remember?" "We've got this." "Now they know right?"

"I will give them a call right now." Hongjoong stepped away and put his phone to his ear. After a stream of Korean rapidly increasing in volume and speed coming from his mouth, he seemed to be leaving no room for management to say anything. Once the call concluded, he came over to the group.

"They are definitely not happy but they also admitted that they know the situation cannot be helped and how much it can hurt emotionally for new bonds to cover their soulmarks. They had a rough plan worked out. Now it has just been....accelerated. Firstly, we have to announce it at the concert tonight. Then a photoshoot to reveal our soulmate. Sorry baby."

Y/N nodded and squeezed his hand. "It's okay firebird. I knew it would come to this eventually. Maybe we can use it to our advantage to promote the album too?"

Hongjoong smirked and nodded. "That was their exact idea. You are a smart girl and I love you for it." He kissed her forehead. "Now that the time in the show for our talks with ATINY is up...it is now or never. Let's go guys."

Y/N began to tear up. "I am sorry to have caused all of this. I just hope they understand...."

The men all huddled around her in a group hug and shouted "NINE MAKES ONE TEAM!" She giggled, feeling a little better as she watched her beautiful men make their way back to the stage. With only the spotlights on them, San decided to be the one to speak up this time, since Hongjoong had been the one to announce his previously.

"Hello ATINY. We are so glad to have you here tonight." The crowd erupted in screams. "As I am sure you have noticed, we each have acquired a soul mark of our own. As you have shown us love over all of these years, I hope you will show her love as well." He looked at her backstage, smiling warmly. The crowd cooed at his sweet words.

Yeosang surprisingly stepped up next. "Yes, we all share a soulmate. I know there are many things that tie to us being together as destiny. This is just more proof of that." The crowd screamed.

Seonghwa cleared his throat and spoke. "We hope that you respect our privacy at this time and let us enjoy this bond which is brand new to all of us."

Wooyoung smiled and spoke, "We need all the chances we can get to learn about our girl."

Mingi spoke then, "We ask that you treat her with kindness because hurting her would hurt us." the crowd said awwwwwwww

Yunho nodded when his turn came up. "We will share what we can when we can, also based on what she is comfortable with. We won't share her with you tonight. For now we will keep her our little secret." he put a finger over his lips and the crowd screamed.

Jongho seemed to tear up and before he could speak, a sniffle came out and he shook his head. He seemed too overcome to speak, waving his hand for Hongjoong to take his turn. The crowd gave sounds of sympathy for him.

"Well, ATINY, we love you so much and thank you for letting us share another piece of ourselves with you. Now let's rock!" Hongjoong began jumping around stage as the intro to their new song Panic came through the speakers.

Y/N hoped that ATINY wouldn't give her guys too rough of a time with their relationship. She decided to bask in the glow of the announcement and check social media when her potential distress wouldn't distract the guys.

The rest of the show went flawlessly and the excitement could be felt from all of them through the bond. She poured all of her love and support through the bond and they seemed to ramp up the energy in response.

The show went great and everyone seemed to have a great time. Afterwards all her guys came up to her covered in sweat and gave her another group huddle hug.

"I love you guys but you are gross!" she giggled and squirmed out of the middle of the pile.

Y/N ran to the dressing room to escape them and went to sit on one of the sofas. Suddenly Wooyoung burst through the door.

"AH!" she exclaimed.

"So you can't handle a bit of my sweat, hmm? Come here baby.." he laid on top of her on the sofa and she squealed. "Woo stop!"

After the other guys slowly came back into the room and saw the chaos ensuing, they chuckled to themselves. Before they could intervene, Y/N had Wooyoung pinned to the sofa. "Didn't we talk about being a good boy? Do you want to mess up your reward?"

Wooyoung instantly got wide-eyed and gently crawled out from under her. "No ma'am. Sorry."

The guys snickered at his submission but he mumbled for them to shut up before going to the washroom to take a shower and change his clothes. They each took turns following him to get out of their makeup and costumes. Y/N appreciated the tan skin and natural look so much. She wished they could do it more.

"We need to get back to the suite and rest because we need to wake up earlier for the flight to New York." Hongjoong flexed his leadership muscles once again. Once everyone was done cleaning up, they all filed out and headed towards the meet and greet location. Y/N had forgotten this part.

"Now that the secret is out baby we gotta hide you." Mingi said. "Go ahead to the hotel and we will meet you there. I love you." He kissed her tenderly on the lips and the rest of the boys followed suit.

"It will all be better soon when we don't have to hide honey." San said. "I will miss you."

With that the boys went to the left for the meet and greet and Hat Guy escorted her to the parking garage. Hopefully this would all be alright soon.

------------------------------------------

Taglist: @imbaebi @vtyb23 @nuggiesnuggetdog04 @mrsminseochoi

#poly ateez #ateez x curvy reader #ateez x older reader #poly ateez x reader #soulmates

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misswhowrite · 3 days ago

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the happy accident

Summary: Fred meets a muggle who will change his life.

(English isn’t my first language!!)

Fred could recall the exact moment he fell in love with his girlfriend, the moment he saw her he knew she was perfect. Their first meeting was special but he wouldn’t change it, he remembered each details.

It was a beautiful day at the shop for the twins, it was full of people who needed a good joke. Children were running everywhere, George was busy at the register with Verity and Fred was helping around the shop until he felt a tug at his vest. It was a little boy, around twelve, he looked around with frightened eyes.

“_ Can you help me? I-i lost my sister and she doesn’t know much about this world and I didn’t mean to loose her I was just looking at the prank shelf and then she wasn’t there!

_ Okay buddy, calm down. What does your sister look like? I’ll help search for her.

_ She is small compared to you and she has brown hair, she wears a purple shirt… and I don’t remember anything else.

_That’s good okay. And her name?

_ Y/N”

Turns out they didn’t have to search because the little boy name was screamed across the shop, many times by a small woman looking panicked. When she finally saw her her brother she was relieved but became really flustered when she saw the young man beside her brother. And Fred was looking bashfully at the beauty before him.

“_Thanks god you’re here Paul! I thought you were gone and I didn’t if somebody took you!

_I’m sorry Sissy, I was looking at the shelf and I didn’t mean to loose you. But Fred was going to help me.

_Thanks you mister Fred!

_Anything for a pretty lady like you and her brother. Name’s Fred and I’m one of the owner of the shop.

_Oh well thanks you Fred but we have to go, Paul here has to pack for Hod-Hor...The school! I’m sorry I don’t know much about this…

_Well I could help you if want, just owl me. I mean if you have an owl, or I could owl you first and you can tell me when we could meet.

_That would be great, I’ll wait for your owl then.”

When George saw Fred writing to someone everyday, he was suspicious and he found the stash of letters, some from a month ago, he red all of them and saw a side of his brother he didn’t knew. The other writer, named Y/N or Love, seemed to not be a witch but Fred was patient with her, George knew he would tease his brother but he was happy that Fred found someone.

Fred and Y/N met again a month later, they were both exited and couldn’t wait to see each other. Fred showed her more of the wizard world and in exchange, Y/N showed the muggle world (he was perplex about the pictures not moving!) and she showed him her little library. Their little getaways happened many times, until Fred asked her to be his girlfriend on the seventh date. He, of course, asked with fireworks on a cute little picnic.

Y/N didn’t meet his family until the three months mark, she saw George once or twice when she met Fred at the shop, but Fred never introduced him officially. So when he asked if she wanted to meet his family, she said yes. The burrow was magical for her, seeing everything move in the air was a bit weird at first, Molly did everything she could to make her feel at home and Arthur talked her ear off about the muggle things he had. Fred’s siblings were a bit septic at first but warm up after getting to know her. George had to interrogate her, she was so nervous but when he laughed she was relieved. Everything went fine to the great pleasure of Fred, he could finally feel a weight leave his shoulders, his girlfriend was accepted by his family and he couldn’t be happier.

Fred and Y/n’s relationship was great, they both showed each others love and a new side of the world, they had their ups and downs but at the end they solved things. Sometimes she helped in the shop or Fred would be with her in her library. They were different but they completed each others beautifully.

#fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley fic #harry potter fanfiction #fanfic

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thesilvertheorist · 2 days ago

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• headcannons 3 - ethics •

Masterlist

feeding you snacks whilst i prepare dinner (unprofessional fic). i have much more to say on this specific topic so...maybe pt.2 in the future??

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

✦ five's ethics aren't actually as all over the place as they first seem. he's got a strong 'code' that he lives by and this made his time in the commission manageable for him: he'll never get to know to a target, never interact with one - if he can avoid being seen that's the ideal scenario, he'll never allow himself to think of targets as anything other than pesky remainders in an equation. however, he is aware that this train of thought is fucked up and he has been trying to find an alternative for years. seemingly, detachment is the only way he can remain focused.

✦ five never actually wants to kill, and he tries to rationalise his actions with proverbs along the lines of 'the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few' - but he's never really sure if he believes himself when he says this and wonders if his brain is just trying to protect him from the insurmountable grief of what he's doing, the lives that he is taking.

✦ five subscribes to being as ethical as possible, much like a free range butcher; people need protein, and this free range meat is one of the kindest ways to offer that. in five's mind, the world needs saving, and his small corrections are the kindest way to do that.

✦ he'd ridiculously accountable as well, he never shies away from the things he's done. he accepts the guilt, the trauma, the heinous nightmares and incoherent screams of victim's family members upon hearing the news. he carries it all and uses it to enforce his strict rule of: no needless killing. do what must be done and then back away.

❺ five employs empathy more than others realise. he's not blind, nor unfeeling - quite the opposite in fact. his feelings have been genetically altered but they are still there. he still has his own genetic code regardless of the sludgy morals pumped unwillingly into him. he loves his family, he empathises with others who love their families, he struggles to pull the trigger if children are present. he's not a violent dog, but he knows and accepts how he'd been both raised and programmed to bite.

✦ five ensures that his siblings never lose their moral compasses, he believes theirs are stronger than his, truer, more reliable...less tainted. this is why he's astonished when diego gets roped into the commission - and brags about it. five knows his siblings to be arseholes, but he also knows them to be the kindest people he has ever known, and will ever have the privilege to surround himself with.

✦ five will sacrifice as much as possible to ensure situations are handled with the upmost compassion - especially if his siblings are involved. this is evident when viktor tries to help harlan in the barn. five had a right mind to put a bullet in harlan's skull and leave it at that...but he knew that, in doing that, he'd practically kill viktor in the process - which he would not let happen. especially after all that love the group put into finding viktor and 'fixing' him after he blew up the moon.

✦ in hargreeve's world, five sticks closely to his nieces, allowing good emotions to flow out of him and onto them. he thinks of himself as their protector in a way - handling things he hopes they never learn about. he adores being an uncle, not too fond of children - but so protective of the ones in his family. he knows he'd kill for them, torture for them, die for them. hell he'd throw his moral compass out of a twelfth story window for them, letting it shatter on the ground and injure whoever happened to be below... but they didn't need to know that.

✦ he remembers the good things that people have done for him and likes to repay that in kind whenever he can. he remembers that luther and diego brought his sorry, drunken arse back from the library (and ensured to collect delores) and diego even allowed him to sleep off the alcohol in his bed. he'll never forget waking up there and seeing how they'd looked after him.

✦ five upholds integrity in two differing respects. firstly, he believes that a person should be authentic, and that anything other than this is a lie - hence why he's so accepting of viktor's announcement at hotel oblivion, same goes for when he finds out his siblings had been gaslit over ben's death - insisting they had their memories returned, it's also the same reason why he doesn't get mad at klaus for relapsing, struggles of truth are still virtuous. authenticity must be upheld at all times, anything else is immoral and unjust. secondly, he believes that this profound integrity of individuals increases the strength integrity of the group; honesty breeds acceptance and keeps people together.

#thesilvertheorist #five hargreeves #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves headcanons #tua #snacktime

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chappellrroan · 2 days ago

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hey babe okay so I saw the first episode and let me tell u u thirsting about helly r (or helen? im guessing that's her outside name) is soo valid and justified she's very pretty and she's banging on doors screaming to get out and throwing things so I obviously admire her lol also this scout guy omg I cannot take him seriously he was a joke character in the good place it was so funny I keep thinking of him but except for that hmmm it's kinda interesting but I fell asleep like 5 times😭 why is it so slow vio why do they show stupid things like him walking through a white hallway and tying his shoelaces i guess am just used to sitcoms i cannot watch these slowpokes I hope i didn't miss anything important my favourite scene yet from just ep1 was scout sobbing in his car before going to work (haha been there done that) and also helly's video she's so animated corporates will truly kill us all this concept is wild tho but like. it's. i thought that wow i can't keep you're giving away one third of your life to a corporation and you're not even going to remember it like how can you waste it lifeis sooo precious. but then I think about all the precious hours i spent in my office formatting idiotic word documents because my seniors said the font looks bad the spacing is incorrect and how tired I was that I just came home and fell asleep and I'm like oh. i loved that line the boss lady said that humans imagined hell but it doesn't exist but the scary part is that what humans can imagine, they can create. so we all gonna die. but anyway yes that's my review of the first episode.i think i definitely missed some important things like i remember seeing some very old guy talking and suddenly he's like I'm petey and I'm like wait YOU'RE petey? where did u come from? but I'll figure it out lol maybe I didn't sleep enough last night

you'll only fall more and more in love with helly lol (also try not to get spoiled by my posts here because i need to see you react to everything a hundred percent authentic). okay in show's defence it's trying to show and not tell, that's why the first episode might seem a bit boring and slow but trust me it'll speed up by end of 2nd episode. the walking thing is show you the shift in his mannersims how outside he seemed depressed and crying while when his innie (aka the severed self) had absolutely no idea at all (the puzzled look at the wet tissue paper and throwing it) the changing of shoes because he isn't allowed to wear outside ones inside it'd have probably make his innie wonder why they're wet (i am realising this as we speak tbh, because his innie has no idea about sky sun snow weather etc) and give him a chance okay forget his previous characters RIGHTTTT it seems like a fucked up concept but if it was possible i am sure soo many companies would take advantage of it to prey on depressed/naive people. like it sounds nice as a concept but (you'll realise this as you watch) in fact is inhuman to that the other part of yourself that is consistently working. lmao that's miss cobel for you, tell me more about how you feel about her as you go on. also get some sleep and try not to be too worried about catching all the symbolism you'll get them as you go plus we have tumblr to discuss anyways mwah

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m-to-z-andbackto-m · 2 days ago

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No you don't understand, it's not just a hyperfixation, IT'S LITERALLY THE REASON I'M FUNCTIONING 😭

I don't like staying hungry or eating when I'm not sure if I'm hungry or bored because Horror exists, he's been through a famine, tf am I doing???

I get upset about my hypersomnia and I try really hard to not to let it happen because many skeles are associated with narcolepsy

I'm pretty sure consuming skeleton content cured my depression over a few years???

God, I'm literally so dependent on them, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THO!!!

I try to avoid toxic behaviors when I can identify them, and it's easier to because Nightmare is a toxic guy canonically, I've consumed enough content to know what's right and wrong in the long run

On the other end, seeing content where one or more of them gets comfort helps me navigate some situations because generally I'm not amazing at giving comfort

They also have me think about my philosophy and general beliefs, a lot of them have been done wrong so they do wrong, therefore I believe we should always try to understand each other because communication can avoid huge issues (DreamTale), and I think it's okay for people to take revenge, even to the extent of killing an abuser if the circumstance just happens to be that way (I'm not gonna specify what irl situation I'm thinking of but I do not advocate for murdering people in general guys, but it's only fair to see the motive, people aren't born criminals and sometimes the extreme feels like the only way out one way or another. Essentially, see people for more than their crimes. Of course some people are just disgusting assholes, but you get the idea.)

Having to memorize the lore and world building, along with creators, characters, interpretations, AND variations, doing all this helps me practice organizing thoughts and articulating difficult information

They actually boost my creativity and keep me happy, when I'm stressed, opening Tumblr to my favorite sillies literally takes my mind off whatever was bothering me, like I actually need them to lower any anxiety levels and keep me regulated

However on the downside they can make me very hyper, sometimes so emotionally so that I shut down for a bit because I physically cannot express my adoration for them and it's overwhelming but I never shut down for too long, I love them, they keep me going y'know!

They help me explore diversity and character writing, putting depth and thought into a being, helps me with my own creations <3

Actually, I'm too shy to look at × reader/self insert/(Y/N) content most of the time unless it's platonic (Might just be me being aromantic honestly) BUT I Have seen stuff where they affirm body types and "Flaws" and stuff like that and I think if I was less of a prude I could look at that stuff and it'd make me feel better about my insecurities, but for now my partners are doing a good job at keeping me normal

Essentially I just need all my sillies to work properly!!! 💕 (I'm so sane, and normal, and not senile about them :3)

(CW For Next Bit: Mental Health, Paranoia, Panic Attack Discussed)

Actually about that, my obsession with the skeletons used to be SO bad that I felt like they were always watching me and my brain would involuntarily make me feel paranoid and bad about myself (Possible ODC symptom where you're afraid of being judged for your thoughts/actions?) and I can't tell if it was a panic attack I had a couple years ago where I couldn't keep caring what they "Think" and I just had to scream and sob because you literally can't hold it in during one (If it was this, I guess I sorta pushed them away D:), OR my partners replaced my brain sillies so I feel them to a lesser extent

(Insecurity, Self Care Issues, And Gay Talk 😭 Oh and also mention of paranoia again but not so bad)

Like it used to be so bad I couldn't get up because I felt yucky, but I couldn't take a shower because they were "There", but now it's like, if my partners are my brain sillies, they like me, we'd probably take showers together when we live together and shit like that, it's okay if they're "Watching" me, actually, they're actual people somewhere else, doing something else, they don't just exist because I think of them the way the silly skeles do, they're actually defined and aren't actually around, it's just me thinking about them, it's okay, I don't have to feel so bad or weird about it, of course I still do a bit because insecurity is hard to scrape off, but I think I'm getting a little better and that's all that matters

Anyways point is, I need my wives, both skeletons and real, to function properly or I'm literally DOOMED

#MZM Rambles A Lot #utmv #sans au #undertale au #utmv au #fandom #ut aus #ut au #sans #utmv sans #undertale fandom #utmv fandom #ut au fandom #small vent #hyperfixation

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