#and i just feel like there are not enough posts that actively hype up the older members of our community who are soso important

[amaraudermind]

I love you fanfic writers who've been posting stories since the nineties I love you fandom newbies who never knew how to get into fandom I love you returning fans who've been out of the loop for decades I love you artists who draw during Naptime I love you fans telling stories from fandoms past I love you adults in fandom spaces<3

[chimielie]

cw f!reader , iwaizumi’s pectorals , this post was sponsored by Big Adobo

you do it in front of the whole gang.

other people, too, but he never pays attention to anyone but his team at the gym.

mattsun is spotting hajime while oikawa heckles him (hyping him up, he’d say, but the music slamming in hajime’s ears makes the claim unverifiable). makki’s squatting beside him, sweat trickling down his temple, but he manages a smile and, when he rises again and puts down his weights, a wave.

hajime doesn’t notice, eyes trained intensely on the middle distance ahead of him, until you appear in his line of vision.

you look pissed, eyebrows scrunched together and hands on your hips.

he drops his weights. they land heavy, clanging against the catches loud enough that he can hear it even before he rips his earbuds out.

“what’d you say?” he furrows his brow.

“shirt off,” you say, pointing at him and flicking your finger in the air. “thanks.”

around you, his friends react with varying degrees of shock and laughter. you stay stone-faced, staring at him, folding your arms across your chest. you’re wearing a sports bra, like you’d just finished your own workout. sometimes you and he go to the gym together, but team activities are team activities, and oikawa likes to accuse you of trying to edge in on the boy’s team’s secrets, as though your own team isn’t reaching new heights of success under your captaincy. hajime feels his pupils expanding the longer he looks at you.

he complies, quirking a brow as he hooks his fingers in the back of his tank’s collar and yanks it over his head. you nod, looking satisfied, then hold out a hand.

“can i see your instagram real quick?” he bares his teeth in a smile at you, guessing where this is going, even if he’s not sure why. as much as you’ve danced around each other the last three years, neither of you have made a move.

something about the way he feels about you just doesn’t feel… urgent. like he’s just waiting for the universe to throw you together, for the right moment where everything clicks. he’s always wanted to take his time with you.

he guesses this is that moment.

he hands it to you, unlocked. you hand it back.

“your other profile.”

ah. it had started as a progress tracker, just a way to remember his exercises and maybe connect with others who were into that kind of thing. to his surprise, he had accumulated followers quickly.

a lot of followers quickly. oikawa called it his thirst trap account. hajime argued that he was just jealous because his beach volleyball videos hadn’t taken off yet.

he taps into his second profile, sliding open the camera function for you and giving you the phone back.

“good?”

“good,” you say, stepping into his space, over the forgotten bar, and for a second there’s nothing but light shared between the two of you, looking into each other’s eyes with pure fondness. then your lips curl into a coy smile and you put the hand not holding the phone on his chest and squeeze.

his pecs jump in surprise. you take the photo.

“thanks,” you say, letting go of him, but not stepping back. his skin burns where you touched him. he’s sure he’s gone deaf from the ringing in his ears. oikawa could be dead from shock behind him and he wouldn’t know. “my mom said you should come over for dinner later. she’s making adobo. see you then?”

“yeah,” he manages, “but tell her we’re going out for dinner friday. reservation’s at seven.”

“is it?” you eye him appraisingly. he pauses, glancing away from you to hit post on the photo. your phone lights up with a notification.

“it will be,” he promises, and reaches out to catch your chin in his hand, tilting your face back to him. “see you then.”

[milk-ly]

Fuuta and Mikoto as Character Foils

This amazing post talks about Fuuta's people pleasing tendencies and they mentioned how Mikoto is simillar, but does it in a different way. And I have NOT been able to stop thinking about it so I want to get my thoughts out about how Fuuta and Mikoto are character foils to each other.

Fuuta and Mikoto are pretty much complete opposites. They parallel in that they both desperately crave societal acceptance, but they differ in how they go about it. Mikoto tries to read the room and changes every aspect of himself in order to seem more friendly and amicable to fit in. He does things based on what he SHOULD do because it’s the societally accepted way to do things and he’ll be liked for it.

Fuuta doesn’t because it’s just how he is, his naturally fiery and argumentative temperament makes it hard for people to like him. It’s not that he doesn’t want to fit in but he isn’t willing to change himself the same way Mikoto is. Mikoto is friendly and approachable while Fuuta is the complete opposite.

But here’s the thing, he IS also like Mikoto in that regard because he is seen in MILGRAM actively changing himself in order to believe that he is that idealized self in Bring It On. He tries to be a representative for everyone and confronts Es for hurting Yuno during his t1 VD, despite having to hype himself up before charging up at them.

But still, no matter how hard he tries he can’t be that idealized self. He can’t fit in, because it’s not who he is. He wants to be accepted as himself! He wants friends he can share the same interests and opinions with to feel validated.

Portal Timeline conversation (2023/07/05):

Fuuta: "Oh, well. I guess I can understand a bit now. When you're feeling down, it's nice to have someone to rely on, someone who accepts you."

It's why Mikoto thinks Fuuta’s immature because Fuuta's unable to fit into society and "be an adult" like Mikoto can. Mikoto thinks that once you grow up, you need to buckle down and start conforming or else you'll never get anywhere in life. To him, it's disgraceful to be angry because it's frowned upon, and Fuuta's pretty much in a constant state of rage, which is why Fuuta has such a hard time finding acceptance. Every time they talk, they’re criticizing each other. Their first ever conversation starts with Mikoto lecturing Fuuta about how he can’t and won’t fit in and it (rightfully) ticks him off, especially since Mikoto can. It’s why they’re at each other's throats like every time they interact (which is pretty little). Mikoto even straight up has a line in the earbud collab about how Fuuta will never get any girls.

Fuuta is constantly considered by others as “immature” and “childish” such as Kazui saying that it's okay for Fuuta to be cocky because he's young or how Fuuta is constantly linked to games (typically associated with children). Or the fact that the lyrics from Bring It On: ""Kono yubi tomare" [is] a traditional saying from a traditional kid’s game."

On the flip side, Mikoto is constantly reminding people that he’s a working adult. Not to mention, Mikoto tends to hang around the older prisoners more (the smoker trio) while Fuuta interacts with the younger prisoners the most. (Amane, Haruka, and sometimes Muu)

Mikoto wants to be a cog in the machine and believes that if he works hard enough, he'll be able to make it in the workforce. Fuuta actively criticizes the workforce and how it's useless to work too hard, so he "goes with the flow."

There are so many smaller details too that emphasize their foil. Mikoto smokes, Fuuta hates smoking. Mikoto's voice is high and whiney while Fuuta's is deep and aggressive. Fuuta has an older sister while Mikoto has a younger sister. Both their parents are divorced but Fuuta is missing his mother while Mikoto is missing his father. However, one similarity is that they both SEEM to have good opinions about their moms while having questionable ones with their dads.

Something else I think about a lot is how Fuuta parallels with John. Especially concerning these lines from John when you realize John is pretty much the opposite of Mikoto too:

John might be the person Mikoto wishes he was. Someone who stubbornly stands their ground, someone who tries stand up for themselves and “gives people their just desserts.” Sounds rather familiar to a certain red-head, I must say.

In addition, they share a lot more similarities too, like their connection to the bright colour red, contrasted by Mikoto's light blue. They both have short tempers and jump at Es as a defence mechanism, in contrast to Mikoto having a fawn response and laughing everything off. They both use the first-person pronoun "ore" while Mikoto uses "boku." Both Fuuta and John have a deeper and more aggressive tone in comparison to Mikoto. Fuuta's symbolism as a brave knight protecting the weak and punishing evil parallels John protecting the "weak" (Mikoto) and acting as his saviour from threats. Mikoto couldn't stand up for himself so John did it for him, Fuuta "stood up" for the people hurt by the actions of the people he cancelled.

To add on to that, Mikoto’s name in kanji means “noble” or “revered.” Words that remind you of royalty, or a prince. (Boy princess fr fr) John being his saviour makes him his knight in shining armour. Matching with Fuuta’s knight symbolism!

Mikoto envies these traits in Fuuta yet hates them and purposefully suppresses them within himself because it's not socially acceptable to act like him. Fuuta likely similarity envies people who can fit in, like Mikoto. Perhaps the reason why the two are so irked by the other is that they each embody traits the other admires yet can't have.

But in the end, they both can’t really fit into “normal” society. Mikoto, who claims he can, is suffering to the point of breaking. Fuuta, who tried and finally found an ounce of acceptance and ally ship in his online buddies, ended up getting carried away and causing the death of someone.

I'm really surprised I haven’t really seen this mentioned or discussed very much. Sorry if it’s really obvious, I just wanted to point some stuff out. Anyway man, I love these two a lot and I would love to see more stuff diving into these two in a canon context too.

[ds9anonkinkmeme]

Interest check

Hi, just doing an interest check for an idea we have about making a DS9 anon kink meme! A kink meme is an ongoing prompt event where people can anonymously request fics and others can choose to anonymously fill any prompts they feel inspired by.

See below the poll for our initial thoughts on pros and cons and considerations.

On ao3 we could very easily set up a prompt collection open for anyone to add prompts or fill prompts anonymously. But we don’t know how easy it is to maintain momentum on an ao3 prompt collection. Maybe that doesn’t matter and it can be an ephemeral thing until people forget about it and it becomes inactive, and then the next generation of folks in the fandom can start up their own new one in a few years haha. If we do it on ao3, should we make subcollections for individual “seasons” or “rounds” (there would likely be no actual deadlines, it would just be whatever length of time it takes for the list of prompts to get too long and unwieldy to be usable), or should we have people put all the prompts into a single collection that just grows and grows and grows?

On dreamwidth there would be comment threads so there would be a way to anonymously register enthusiasm for a prompt even before it gets written, which seems really good for encouragement and feeding off of each other’s hype. (Dreamwidth might also tell you when new comments are added to the community, unlike prompt collections on ao3?) But we are less familiar with dreamwidth so we aren’t sure there’s enough ds9 fandom hanging out there (or willing to make an account there) to sustain it over there.

Tumblr doesn't seem like an option for a number of reasons (can't post fully anonymously to tumblr except via asks, and having everything be done via asks would make it difficult to organize and connect prompts with fills because to keep them both anon they'd have to be separated, and tumblr is a website with a famously terrible search function).

If a DS9-focused kink meme already exists, we’d love to hear about it! We’ve found a few seemingly inactive ones in our research. But if there’s an active one out there, we could absolutely just pivot to supporting/participating in that, instead of making our own thing and dividing up the fandom’s energies. (Another question we don’t know the answer to: Is it possible/desirable to work on reviving one of those inactive ones, just by encouraging a collective effort to start participating in one again? Or do we think the mods of these inactive ones have abandoned them and might be stressed out to suddenly see new activity?)

If you have something to say but don’t want to say it publicly, we also have an anonymous, slightly expanded google form version (that can be found in our pinned post) with space to leave freeform feedback. You can vote in one or both forms of this poll, depending on what you feel like.

We’d very much appreciate reblogs to spread this poll around since we just made this account, but no pressure to do so. We still want your vote in the poll if you’re interested in this idea, even if you don’t want to reblog a post about it. <3

Anyway, if you have any thoughts on this DS9 kink meme idea (or messages of encouragement!!!), please feel free to send them in! <3

[hyuniyz]

SKZ AS BOYFRIENDS

PAIRING. stray kids!bf x female!reader

GENRE. fluff

🗒 NOTES. i am so sorry for the small post 😟 but here’s something while i finish up my exams!! also maxident is so good 😭 im getting the heart version delivered soon im so excited ‼️

bangchan ( 방찬 )

★ best boyfriend me thinks

★ very protective but never overdoes it. he just makes sure you know that he’ll be there for you in case of anything.

★ always makes sure you’ve eaten etc

★ keeps you entertained even when he’s at work because he’ll update you about everything 😭

★ “oh han’s tackling felix rn” “they’re on the floor” “felix is screaming i’m tired” yeah you get to experience the chaos first hand

★ he regularly invites you over to the studio no matter how many times you protest that you fall asleep he doesn’t budge. he just needs you with him while he finishes up on some songs.

★ doesn’t say it out loud but he thinks he can really focus on and wrap up songs but only when you’re there

lee know ( 리노 )

★ he’s everything you could ask for as a bf

★ he’ll make you laugh, make you cry out of happiness and so easily have you absolutely smitten

★ you get to experience everything with him

★ he’ll take you to dance with him very often but you guys only play around until your stomach hurts from laughing

★ focuses a lot on your interests and if it’s something new/he doesn’t know about it, he’ll do his research so you guys can talk about it together ❤️‍🩹

★ YOU BOTH GO TO CAT CAFÉS TOGETHER !! i can’t stress this enough

changbin ( 창빈 )

★ he loves spending quality time together!! so he’s always looking for new activities you guys could do

★ regularly takes you to his workout sessions if sometimes you just sit and do nothing

★ he believes in his haste to impress you he completes the workout quicker 😭

★ always asks for your opinion on their songs! he does it mainly because he knows you only have positive feedback so it boosts his ego. but he also does it because he loves how excited you get while complimenting all components of the song.

★ he’s mainly big on pda and has a hand on you at all times wether at your shoulder,back, waist or your thigh.

★ he really adores just how small you are compared to him, so while cuddling he’ll sometimes cover your entire body with his, or he’ll marvel at the fact that your entire hand can completely be encased by his much larger one.

★ smothers you at every chance he gets 😟 does not care for his image he will snuggle into you when he’s tired don’t doubt him

hyunjin ( 현진 )

★ your perfect art boyfriend

★ i feel like he’d mainly show his love for you through handmade gifts like paintings etc

★ invites you with him while he finishes on a painting so he can enjoy the way you compliment his talent –he’s a sucker for compliments

★ HAS SO MANY PICTURES OF YOU

★ he loves when he’s scrolling through his camera roll and all of a sudden he sees a picture of you

★ all the memories come back 🥹

★ swears up and down his favourite and most happiest memories are with you <33

han ( 한 )

★ your no.1 source of entertainment

★ it’s never a dull moment with him tbh 😭

★ especially if you manage to match his energy he’ll be even more hyped up!

★ ruins his image just to get a smile from you <3 very dedicated

★ he’ll have his soft, calm bf moments too though

★ he’ll be there to hold you if it has been a particularly tiring day

★ basically like a warm blanket

★ enjoys the rare serene moments he gets to spend w you 🫶🏻

★ adores you truly and doesn’t bother to deny it even if the members tease him like hell

★ “aww!! our han’s in love :D!!,” “chan hyung, i will yeet your laptop,”

felix ( 용복 )

★ sunshine

★ felix would ruin other men for you

★ like after him you’re standards are way too high

★ he’s just so endearing

★ loves spending time with you

★ HE LOVES WHEN YOU COMPLIMENT HIM 😭

★ blushes so quickly

★ like it’ll just be a normal “you smell nice today babe”

★ and suddenly felix is a red tomato while he rambles about how he ‘picked that perfume because he thought you would like it’

★ your emotional support system 🫶🏻

seungmin ( 승민 )

★ very attentive as a boyfriend

★ like he remembers even the smallest detail you mentioned casually

★ it’s so endearing when you’re talking about something and then all of a sudden he goes “oh yeah i remember, you told me already,” 🥹??? it’s not only me right

★ he’s very good at knowing how you feel

★ like if you’re in a position where you can’t voice out how uncomfortable you are, one look at your face will tell you and he’s already pulling you away

★ very much acts like a mother

★ wipes your face after you’re done eating, fixes your hair, kneels down to fix your untied laces

★ YOU GET ALL THE SMILES!! like whenever he’s with you he can’t control how big he smiles or how loud he laughs

★ loves you very much ofc

jeongin ( 아이엔 )

★ you guys are the best dressed couple !!

★ he makes sure you’re always matching somehow

★ he’s a really sweet bf

★ does all the typical relationship stuff

★ will buy you flowers randomly, brings you coffee/your favourite snack whenever he sees you

★ thinks about you a lot!! that’s why you’ll sometimes get random “i love you” or i miss yous during the day <3

★ GIGGLES RANDOMLY ???

★ like for no reason, he’s lying down beside you snuggled in your chest and just randomly starts.. giggling and blushing 😦⁉️

★ babygirlism in his veins it’s true 😔

⠀© hyuniyz | fav && follow

[greenandsorrow]

"Boytoy"

WARNINGS; sexual references, ken x fem!reader, reader uses she/her pronouns, ken finding out about periods, fluff & happy ending, plot doesn't connect with the movie, probably grammar mistakes

Bonus Part

After their rather intense night they just got comfy under the covers, this time with Ken being the big spoon. Y/n was laying her head on his chest, just where his plastic heart is, his heartbeat lulling her into a deep sleep. Our lucky Ken had his arms wrapped around y/n's frame, while nuzzling the top of her head, inhaling the flowery scent of her shampoo, feeling his eyelids getting heavier.

~~

Since that day they've been inseparable. Ken figured out how to control his waking up in the real world or in Barbieland. He was also informed that there's a portal to y/n's world at his favourite beach. Y/n's house has become his own and she was happy and patient to get him used to human activities such as going out for a snack, walking her home after her classes and so on.

Life is good, it's sublime. Y/n is looking forward to Ken's surprise for her birthday...she was able to figure out what it was but she'd never reveal that to her giddy man. Ken is planning to take her to Barbieland for a day and that means she can meet her childhood friends, the Barbies.

Currently, Ken is waiting for y/n at her apartment because she had exams to take. He is so proud of her for the silliest of accomplishments so y/n can hardly imagine the excitement he feels for her determination and wit at studying. Unfortunately, she wasn't in the mood for celebrating, or making out, or having a tickling session, or watching horse documentaries. Ken was devastated.

Y/n went straight to her bedroom to change into the fluffiest pyjamas possible before curling up next to Ken and letting out a deep sigh.

"Why did it have to happen today out of all days?!"

Ken is puzzled by her statement. His expression is rather adorable as he tries to understand what is going on in her head. He finally speaks in a sheepish but also curious manner.

"What did happen today that shouldn't have y/n?"

She huffs and buries her face in his arm. She is already tired from all the studying, frustrated with her headaches and exasperated from the too familiar cramps.

"It's nothing Ken...", she murmurs.

Under any other circumstances she would've been delighted to share this part of her human experience with Ken...however the thought of having to break down what periods are to her blonde partner has y/n riled up now.

Ken is of course too dramatic at his reaction to her dismissive answer. He takes an expression of pure heartbreak.

"Are you bored of me?! Oh no y/n!"

Y/n can't help but chuckle a bit and her mood lightens up. He can't be so pure, it's infuriatingly cute.

"It's my period Ken, it's not your fault I act like so grim..."

Ken's confusion is comically obvious and she decides to explain what needs to be explained.

~~

By the end of her primary school teaching moment, Ken is looking at her with a new kind of awe. If women weren't fabulous enough before in his blue eyes, they definitely are now.

And so another monthly ritual is added to Ken's list of being y/n's hype man. He makes a huge, too bright and silly looking calendar and writes down his human's days of the month. She always has a bag of chocolates and plush toys waiting for her, maybe a flower or a cowboy accessory. Y/n has a whole collection at this point. The best part, though, is what comes after the marked days on the calendar end....

Let's just say Ken's libido is that of a teenager's and how could she complain when she's ovulating?

notes~~

Well, that's it... the little happy ending I had promised. Boytoy was the first thing I ever posted on here and the first thing I wrote in general for the public eye🥺 Looking back, I know I could have done it better, but I don't want to be ungrateful because Boytoy made my blog gain an audience. I want to expand my writing on other fandoms so stay tuned! Thanks for all the support <33

my masterlist

Dividers by; @cafekitsune

TIPS; CLICK HERE (PayPal link)

Tags; @notleclerc @moonmaiden1996 @vilovedr @goldenvespa @hope4rain19 @l8nightreads

[totallynotokguys]

Lego Monkie Kid Rewatch: Season 3

Episode 10, Samadhi Fire Part 1/2

Just a warning, I do talk about season 5 for a moment, but I'll try to keep it labeled and separate so you can easily skip over it without getting spoiled if you want.

Now that I know a bit of the Journey to the West, I have only just realised how impossible it would be for the pilgrims to be here helping baby Red Son.

No way could this rage baby Red Son have thought up clever scheams to catch and eat Tang Sanzang the way JTTW Red Son did. Not to mention at the end JTTW Red Son ended up going to Guanyin's villain reform program.

On the other hand, I don't believe the sealing of Samadhi Fire would have happened before the journey. Wukong is clearly wearing his post-pilgrimage get up and the pilgrims all act like they know each other.

All of this to say, just how many differences are there between the show's journey and the novel's.

Then again, the fact that Iron Fan and Bull King are still in love and married should have been the first tip off for me.

Season 5 Spoiler Talk

I am curious, are all of these differences a result to Nine-Headed Demon's interference? What the heck did the guy have to do to insure Red Son would be born late enough to be baby during Tang Sanzang's life time? Is the Nine-Headed Demon responsible for the Samahdi fire being so out of control in a young Red Son? In JTTW, Red Son still wields it and has great control over it.

"For the Samahdi fire to be split in three, you must harmonise you're energies!"

These three? Harmonise? A hard headed demon king, a sentient rock monkey, and a duty bound celestial ex-mortal? Sanzang was basically asking for failure here.

Wukong: 'Psssh, this is easy.'

Also Wukong:

Ao Lie just took a blow for Sanzang!

The notorious, lets everything go to chaos in a box around him while continues to be horse actually stepped up and took action. Now I know for sure this is post-pilgrimage! Character development!

Reprimands in sarcasm and bonks heads when annoyed.

Brother coded, brother coded, brother coded, brother coded

"Alright, you win."

In the last episode when Tang said this it was more from Macaque's perspective and thus Tang sounded desperate and hopeless. He really seemed like he'd given up.

Now, thanks to these three shots… everything feels different. Same lines, same delivery. But now I believe Tang isn't giving up. He's got a plan!

I have not talked enough about the sound design in this show! I love the sounds they use for magic. I'm pretty sure that each magic user plus each different power their unique chime/gong! Examples:

Tang's has a very clear and simple ring.

Ne Zha's sounds like fairy twinkle lights, all light, airy, and chimey.

Wukong main magic is like a bamboo thunking against a stone, or a a small stone creating ripples in a pond. Wish I knew what made this sound. I have been conditioned to be hyped every time I hear it.

Interestingly, MK's magic sounds the same. I believe this is what further fed into the belief that Wukong had gifted MK his magic instead of it coming from the kid. The shows own little misdirection!

But really, I think the reason for the similarity in their magic, both ability and sound, stems from them both being made by Nuwa as celestial stone monkeys.

The whole reason I thought to bring it up was this transition. We go from a third person perspective to looking through Wukong's eyes. and the first thing to clue us in that this is happening is the sound of Wukong's gold vision activating before suddenly the image blinks gold and we find ourselves zooming out of Wukong's eyes as he watches the scene from far away.

The way they did this was such a cool transition as well as an awesome example of how the golden vision works! Superman, you wish you're eye powers were this cool!

"Let's hope my aim is as good as it used to be."

AKA: "If I skewer you, it's totally because I missed and not because I'm still angry at you and taking petty revenge."

Red, blue, green. Long ago, the three Samadhi Fires were separated and the great destruction was extinguished.

Only when the three colors are found again can they unite and create- PINK FIRE!

Wai- what? That's not how color theory works. How did I never notice before? The full might of the Samadhi Fire is pink.

Love the shattered chains, and the washing away of the blue aura to symbolize LBD's hold over him being broken.

"Someone get some water!"

I'm surprised he didn't throw snow at her. Its right there.

Anyone else think it's really cool that Wukong can just pull Macaque out of his shadows?

Like, no one else has been able to do that!

Ah, so Tang didn't have a plan. He just did it because it felt right. shakes my head Oh Tang, and for a moment I thought you were competent.

Seriously though, I am now forever scarred by the word destiny. I hate it.

"I hate to interrupt, but can someone explain what is going on!"

No please interrupt. We need you MK! You're the only one who could possible salvage this situation. Everybody else just keeps making it worse!

Macaque- ignoring the child in fiery pain to celebrate his freedom.

Wukong- lashing out at the closest person marginally at fault (that isn't him).

Ne Zha- voice of doom declaring the girl and world as a lost cause.

Tang- DESTINY

Like, great job everyone. Way to solve your problems.

[justanoval]

Life Updates

Hey Tumblr gang!

If you've noticed I've been active less on platforms like Patreon, Twitch, Discord, and even a little less frequent with my YouTube uploads, this post will address that.

The biggest reason is that I simply do not have enough energy to delegate anymore. With my health issues progressing, I've been slowly losing my energy to give out to different areas, and I've had to decrease my focus.

My main focuses are now animations, music, merchandise, and Creeper County.

That's the jist. If you want more specifics, you can keep reading further.

Twitch

I really really struggle to have any energy for streaming. I can't keep up the hype and I feel like I am not doing anything by just being live. I want to have the freedom to do other things whenever I want, and I don't want to feel like I am being judged with every creative decision I make. A few decisions of mine revolving around how I built my audience is what lead me here, so while there's ways I can see myself coming back to Twitch, I just don't have the energy for it at the moment.

Discord

Discord was my biggest strategy to help grow my Twitch channel--and it worked fantastically. But now that I'm inactive on Twitch, I've decided to delegate the energy used on Discord for something else.

I don't expect myself to like, delete my Discord, but it's just something I am fine with being there primarily for announcements right now.

I'm focusing more on creating a smaller, more intimate community with Creeper County. This is what I've always wanted in building a community.

Patreon

I've made an announcement there already if you're interested in reading. The jist is that it isn't a reliable income source for me to dedicate that much time to it. It's just going to sorta stay as a donation platform for the time being. Not that that's bad (it's what most people tend to do), but I think it's still reasonable for me to make clear.

YouTube

I wouldn't say I'm too inactive here, I just don't upload as often. It's like, as opposed to once every 4-7 days, it's once every 7-10 days maybe now.

Big reason here is, of course the energy, but also I'm just exploring many different art forms right now. Had a dip in motivation with main channel animations and needed to figure out why. For the most part, I have figured out why, but there's still some direction I need to find.

Though you can look forward to a shrimp miku video coming soon.

Postmortem in Nuuspace

This isn't one I have really been inactive in, since I never promised an activity level. But still figured I can address that I am planning out a much larger story that will be based in this universe, which is why my current writing rhythm will be quite sporadic.

Not to say this will ever be finished, or published, or whatever (it might idk), but it's just what I am doing.

I know I didn't have to make this post, but it gives me some closure! I didn't want to leave anyone in the dark, and this way I know that I haven't (unless people don't read this, but that ain't on me).

In the future, I honestly expect that most of my energy will come down to video game development. It's like, all of these little things I am doing will just point towards one massive thing. And given my experience with Godot engine, making music, writing, 3d art, pixel art, animation... you see where this is going.

So, stay tuned.

[cookinguptales]

I just keep thinking about the way that Silvia and Nandor mirrored each other in this episode. Both of them represented Guillermo's two families and how he's really failing them both.

Both Silvia and Nandor love Guillermo and know him well enough to know that something's up. They both know that he's distracted and self-involved and absent -- and won't tell them why. And it's hurting them both.

They're both starting to get angry.

Silvia and Nandor both get pieces of Guillermo that the other doesn't, and both treat him very differently, but... they're both very similar in this episode.

Like, Silvia rarely sees her son. He barely took any time to see her for thirteen years, even though they lived in the same city for most of it, and has missed at least three birthdays in a row. Then he suddenly starts wanting to repair their relationship. He's not just showing up at her house every so often or crashing on her couch in a depression for a week without telling her why. Now he's actively trying to be with her. Be there for her. He's giving her lavish gifts and making time to visit with her.

But even before that, she still loved him. She still supported him. Even now, she's happy for any scrap of attention he gives her. But... she's finally losing her patience with him in 5.05, and you can understand why. She's finally got him there at her birthday physically, but mentally he's not there at all. He's constantly on the phone, constantly ignoring her, didn't even bring a token gift. He keeps trying to make this night about him.

And her Guillermo has always been distant, has never been entirely honest with her about his life -- but he's never been cruel or selfish towards her.

Until now. So for the first time, he's truly disappointed her.

Then, on the other hand, we have Nandor. Nandor has always had all of Guillermo's time, but he's only started to have the emotional intimacy that Guillermo's shared with Silvia very recently. He's become addicted to it very quickly, though. He doesn't just enjoy Guillermo's attention; he's addicted to it. And he's come to really depend on him. He's become used to Guillermo being there for him, protecting him, hyping him up, getting him out of trouble. Loving him.

And now, like Silvia, he's coming to realize that his Guillermo is pulling away. And like Silvia, he doesn't know why. Silvia doesn't know that he became a vampire familiar 13 years ago, and Nandor doesn't know that he's been bitten by a vampire now.

Nandor has sort of been downgraded to where Silvia was for most of the series, hasn't he? He had all of this love and attention from Guillermo, and then he was very abruptly ghosted without any straight answer why.

But he's not like Silvia. He's not gentle and understanding and long-suffering. Nandor, like Guillermo, is fairly selfish. So while Silvia is only becoming disappointed with Guillermo now, Nandor's speedrunning it. lmao

Guillermo betrayed his biological family with his physical and emotional absence, but this episode showed that he's starting to do that to the vampires, too. And while we may laugh at the vampires' antics and it's harder to feel bad for them when Guillermo isn't there to clean up their messes, we understand keenly how badly Guillermo hurt his family by messing up his mother's birthday.

By the end of the episode, though, it's made really clear that to Nandor, the two feel like one and the same. It was an important event in his life and Guillermo, who promised to always be there for him when he needed him, was not. And he was deeply, deeply disappointed.

Compare Nandor's reaction here to his reaction in s2 with The Curse. (I could write an entire meta post just comparing those two episodes, lmao.) He would have liked Guillermo's help in The Curse and seemed a little cross that Guillermo was off "having fun" at a concert or something (read: killing vampires) but he was largely okay with figuring things out himself.

In Local News, though, he was constantly reaching out for his right hand, who was no longer there. Guillermo has become something reliable and depended on and necessary to Nandor -- and he's not here. While it irritated Nandor in The Curse, it seemed to actively hurt him in Local News. He felt betrayed by Guillermo's absence, just like Silvia did.

For both of them, though, it's not actually about physical distance. (Though that obviously bothers them, too.) It's about the emotional distance that Guillermo is putting between them. Guillermo might physically have come to Silvia's birthday, but he was emotionally a thousand miles away. Guillermo's physical absence was felt by Nandor, but it was that he wasn't there to depend upon emotionally that really seemed to fuck him up.

(Even though Nadja and Laszlo disagreed on methods, they both comforted and supported each other in a really scary time here. Nandor kept reaching out for that from Guillermo, but never got it. Ouch.)

So both Silvia and Nandor are getting this sense that they're not really important to Guillermo anymore, and that's killing them. Both of them are feeling abandoned -- and for Nandor in particular, who has several hundred years of abandonment issues, that's devastating.

Guillermo, for his part, doesn't seem to realize how much his actions are driving them both away. He's trying to have it all, but he's on the fast track to having nothing. He won't be a full vampire, he won't be a full slayer, he won't have his biological family, he won't have his vampiric family. He'll be all alone, and he'll have no one to blame but himself.

The vampires didn't make him forget his mother's birthday. The slayers didn't prevent him from helping the vampires. Guillermo is just prioritizing his own hopes, fears, and desires, and he's alienating everyone.

It's good to prioritize yourself sometimes, especially when you're a person like Guillermo who's always suppressed his own desires so he could fulfill others', but it's almost like he's swinging too far the other way now. He's letting down the people who depend on him, and he's hurting their feelings in ways that will be very hard to fix.

Guillermo has, up until now, been a very dependable person. Guillermo's mother couldn't depend on his presence, but she could depend on his love and care and kindness. Nandor couldn't depend on his openness, but he could depend on his presence and unconditional support.

But he's not dependable anymore, is he? And that really seems to have thrown both of them. They don't know what to make of this new Guillermo, but they don't like it.

They're both so, so disappointed in him.

And I think Guillermo is, too. : /

[from-izzy]

i'm home | tbz lee sangyeon

» ​PAIRING: tbz lee sangyeon x gn!reader (please tell me if i made a mistake!)​ » TROPE/AU​: established relationship au!, long-distance relationship au!, non-idol au! » GENRE​: loving boyfriend sangyeon, very supportive sangyeon, fluffy fluff, bit of angst (ok, maybe more than a 'bit'), comfort comfort and...comfort, reading blushes cause of sangyeon (hehe), boyfie sangyeon who's taller so that you can comfortably hide your face to his chest » WORD COUNT: 4625 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~17 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): mention of religion once, proofread once, workplace hardships navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

i was a little bit nervous about posting this, especially since it was very rushed! sorry, i didn't plan this well 🥹 nothing came up till the last minute 😞 def didn't freak out or anything— 🤠 i'm gonna hype myself up and think this is fine considering i was racing against the clock (which i didn't manage to beat 😞) and have study to do (exams who? nov 9 who?).

but first of all to me: i know you rejected a lot of opportunities, drowned yourself in a lot of regrets, and i understand that planes are scary for you. i hope that you will find a reason soon to finally see the world like your younger self was dying to do. you were so close to doing it in july and i'm so proud of that first step. keep going, okay?

and! to you @winterchimez...i don't think there are any words needed. welcome home, soulmate! 🫂

Nothing will ever feel as much at home to you as Sangyeon could ever be.

You knew this the moment you told him about how you got the opportunity to work overseas. You remember when it felt like you were fighting endlessly with yourself. Around two years ago, after your weekly date, a loving kiss on your lips and the way Sangyeon would flash you that endearing smile, you thought that everything would be fine. You pushed, what you thought, to be a slim chance that you would be able to work overseas to the back of your mind. At first, you felt crushed about the video interview that you messed up, stuttering and using filler words while you internally scolded yourself for not preparing answers to simple job interview questions. Your head was overloaded with information between things to say and not to say, what would be the best answer and how to play your cards right. In the end, as soon as you pressed the red button on the video call interview, you reached out for your phone to call the first person on your call logs.

Sangyeon remembers that video call, the line of tears cascading down your cheeks as you vent your feelings out. He always waited for you to finish your sentences, nodding along to your words and giving affirming body language to show that he was actively following. Along your stream of words, you didn’t realise that Sangyeon stepped outside in the cold air, his phone at a new low angle and the lights from the buildings were the only reason why you were still able to see his smile across the screen.

“Wait…why are you outside? Where are you going?” You grabbed the new box of tissues from your bedside table, ripping the top part of the box with the dashed lines to help you retrieve a new paper instantly.

“Just grabbing some things.” Sangyeon leisurely answers, bringing the camera closer to his puckering lips, “I’m sure you did amazing, baby. Don’t worry too much, alright? And if you didn’t make it, then I’m sure God has other plans for you.”

You both continue talking over the phone, wiping your eyes, drinking a ton of water and burying yourself underneath the blanket as Sangyeon continues his little errand run. Soon enough, you finally understood why the phone was tilted upwards towards the sky and why Sangyeon didn’t show the things he bought—all the usual things that he would share with you during his random, night errand runs like this one. 

It was when he finally brought the phone up to be in line with his face that you recognised the familiar street background that he was walking in. You gasped, throwing your blanket to the floor, and opening the door suddenly to face your parents who looked at you with shocked eyes. They couldn’t even voice out any of their thoughts because you were out the front door as fast as you exited your bedroom door.

Knowing well that you found out about his plan, Sangyeon made a final sprint for your house, the contents inside the plastic bag ruffles and his earphones your excited laughs and words fill his earphones, mixed in with some of your still sniffling sounds from the devastating earlier events.

That night wasn’t the first time that Sangyeon would run over to you with no notice or hesitation but Sangyeon had been going through a tough time with his personal life and you didn’t know that he would still be able to have such energy to take care of you. It’s a miracle that you were able to still go on dates that these days would be impossible to plan. That night was a reminder to you, especially with the way that he lowered his lower body down, wrapped his arms around your waist, and lifted you as he buried his face into the crook of your neck, that you really love your boyfriend and that he has always been your number one supporter.

In his arms, with some final tears that Sangyeon wiped away delicately from your still-red cheeks, you were sure that everything would be fine. 

Your tears started because you were stressed but it ended with comfort.

But you got another huge headache about a week later when you got the final results of the interview. It could be the acceptance letter (that you were still sure you weren’t going to get), but you knew that you needed to at least open it, read it and accept whatever result it was to move on with your life. So, you tapped on the notification without much thought and you will forever remember this sentence: We look forward to working with you. You froze then and there, your jaw open in disbelief and your fingers went back to the main email page, pulling the inbox page down to refresh the screen. Lo and behold, you were faced with a challenge that you didn’t bother to think about.

You sprint to Sangyeon’s house as soon as the reality sinks into you. Once again, you left your parent’s house after breaking the news to the owners before leaving. Usually, you would have never been able to run that fast and long without a break. The adrenaline and anxiety took over your whole body, and you let your legs guide you to your boyfriend’s house. 

Sangyeon welcomed the news with open arms, his feet adorably tapping on the spot and a deep, soft kiss on your lips that still held his radiant smile. But unlike him, you could only stand at your spot in front of his house and give him a reluctant smile. To this, his smile drops and so did the arms that were in the air a moment ago to celebrate this new journey of yours. The vertical lines between his eyebrows made itself evident and you could only respond with a series of head-shaking and quivering lips.

“Hey…” He cradles the back of your head with one hand, the other on your cheek as he steps forwards towards you, “What’s wrong? You’ve always wanted this.”

Your arms surrounded Sangyeon’s lower body tightly, taking a handful of his sweater and your cold nose slowly became warmer thanks to his body temperature, “I know. But now that it’s happening, I’m having second thoughts.”

He continues to dig further into your thoughts, wanting to understand your feelings more and why you were having second thoughts about something you worked so hard for, “Do you want to elaborate further now? Or do you want to come inside first?”

“If I say the latter, will you cuddle with me?”

This is the you that he knows: the one that would always wish for a kiss, then a cuddle and then another kiss. You lift your face from his chest, increasing the distance between you both slightly. Sangyeon sees the sparkle in your eyes and the slight pout on your lips when you look up at him with a silent plea for a positive answer to your question. 

Who was he to refuse and break your heart like that? 

Plus…he wanted to cuddle with you as much as you did.

And so with the support of your loving family, chaotic friends and encouraging boyfriend, you packed up, headed onto the new country alone and started a new, independent life. Thankfully, you were able to find a place close to your workplace and the foreign place became your home quickly with your three kind housemates. Splitting the chores around the house, cooking, and establishing times to use the washing machine was never a problem. Living in the same house made it easier for you all to spend some time and get to know each other better, leading to routine Friday nights to be spent with each other, going on road trips and eventually overseas trips.

Your workplace has been rewarding as you found the same good qualities of your housemates in most of your co-workers. From day one, everyone has welcomed you to their lives with open arms and you knew for sure that these people wouldn’t be the reason that you would ever have to leave to go back home.

“It’s just so unfair.” It was the company, the workplace and the conditions that they put you in. The logic didn’t make sense: the place was understaffed yet they won’t hire any new people. Of course, there were many underlying factors around it, but after being so overworked, adapting to the new culture, being homesick and, your body trying its best to adjust to the new season changes that you would never have to deal with back home, it was inevitable that you were going to break down soon, “Why? Just why do they have to do that?”

“I’m so sorry you’re going through that.” Oh how much Sangyeon just wanted to jump out of the screen and hug you tight. When was the last time he ever got to do that anyway? He missed having you in his reach—his favourite love language not being able to be expressed for about half a year now, “Hang in there, baby. I know you can do this. Stay strong, hm?”

Through your blurred vision, you could still make out his sorrowful smile, his hand that just hovers the top of the camera on his phone as if to recreate the feeling that he was touching the side of your head.

Perhaps, the worst part of being away from home is your inability to ever interact with them in real-time. The time difference made it too exhausting for everyone on the other side of the world to communicate with you properly. Sure, there were rare days when they could, but the way their moon would rise when the sun said its greetings here made you swallow down your tears at night, forcing you to reassure yourself that ‘everything is going to be fine.’ Because of this, it was a routine for you to drown in your thoughts throughout the day, waking up with a heavy head and heart from the previous nights as you plaster on a weak but still genuine smile when you greet your coworkers. 

With the help of your housemates, your family and Sangyeon have managed to surprise you on both of your birthdays as well as some gaps between their schedules. Those memories would be the ones you would replay in your head as you cry your heart out in the middle of the bed that’s in the middle of the room, in the middle of the night.

Other than the visits and calls, the only things that would connect you to them are the daily pictures and videos. At the very least, they captured the lives of the ones you love back home. Unlike the memories that you could only see and keep for yourself, the physical evidence of their smiles is another big source of comfort for you, especially when all you wanted during your lonely walk home was just life updates from the people that you love most. Somewhere along the way though, the pictures and videos became too much for you, and you start to imagine what the picture would be like if you filled up the negative space within it. 

How would it be like to share that laughter, smile and experience of the atmosphere that the picture manages to capture? What was the air around there like? Humid? Cold? Warm? Aromatic? Or maybe perhaps, would you have been too entranced by Sangyeon’s presence that the only thing you could smell was his signature perfume mixed in with his laundry detergent? 

How would it feel just to have Sangyeon’s shoulder pressed up against yours whenever he has that habit of putting an arm around your back to grab the opposite side of your waist? To have his bigger hand securely intertwine with yours? To have him press a kiss on the side of your head after he whispers ‘I love you forever’ to your ears—knowing well that you were the only one in the world that he would ever confess that phrase intimately to.

How would it feel like to just have the familiar buildings of your neighbourhood, your city and the familiar murals or paintings in your life again? Would it be more comforting than the pictures of the same scenery on your phone? Would your heart be more at ease walking in the night even if all the lights were off or there were no signs of life?

As an answer to your thoughts, after two years of learning, gaining life experiences and missing the air of your home, you bravely decided not to pick up the pen on the table and sign your initials on the new contract paper. 

You decided: I’m going home. 

It’s been a really wild ride. A ride that you would never exchange for anything else. For one, you made friends from the other side of the world. Friends that you knew you could always hit up and visit if you ever come back. Two, it was real when people say that ‘the distance makes the heart grow fonder’. Sangyeon has always been the boyfriend who would cry and carry his burden alone but would always welcome your hardships into his life. Before, even though you could pick up some of the signs on some occasions, the limited video calls allowed you both to pour your feelings out, exchanging confessions and true thoughts. Had you not been across the world, you were confident that Sangyeon would step out of his shell eventually but you were thankful that the distance did its job healthily and your relationship with him strengthened with the tears and chuckles that he showed. 

When the time came and you finished training the new worker who would soon be taking your place in the company, you did your final preparations before stepping out of the house that sheltered you for two years. Final goodbyes, tears being shed, words of affirmation and promises for occasional updates were made before you drove off to the airport. Rolling down the car window, you twist your upper body to face the back of the car, your hand waving up in the air. 

The ride to the airport is bittersweet. You put your phone down after texting Sangyeon that you would call him when you pass through security. All you wanted to do at this moment was to look out the windows and take in the colours of the journey, half-scared that the scenery might turn monochrome soon if you didn’t pay close attention.

Keeping your promise, you connected your earphones and turned on your camera to be faced with Sangyeon leisurely lying in bed, one hand on the back of his head on the headboard, blinking his eyes to fight the sleep from his system.

“You should sleep.” 

Sangyeon shakes his head, straightening his back and sitting up. He takes a deep breath, his chest expanding in volume as he does so, “You only have a few minutes before you have to go anyway. I can stay awake and accompany you.”

“You’re the best, you know that?” 

Thankfully, you found a seat for yourself in the busy atmosphere. You place your backpack on the floor in front of you between your legs, being mindful of the other passengers in the busy airport who most probably had a long day before this, now having to spend overnight in a metal column.

“Love that hoodie on you. Where’d you get it?” Sangyeon wiggles his eyebrows playfully and you roll your eyes, “Good to know that you didn’t leave it behind.”

“I would be crazy to leave this behind.” You pull on the strings of the hoodie, fastening the circumference of the hood around the outline of your face, pouting cutely to your boyfriend who just laughs at you fondly.

“Can’t wait to hold you.” That sentence holds so many meanings and tugged on your heartstrings so much. It hurt for a bit to hear him say that, especially when his voice sounded so tired, “I love you so much.”

“I love you so much.” You whisper to the microphone, holding the tears that you didn’t want to show to your friends throughout the whole week, “I miss you so much. I can’t wait to go on physical, real-life dates again.”

“A few more hours.” He reminds the both of you, holding on just a little bit longer, “Everything will sort itself out then.”

That’s right.

A few more hours until you will both be able to be in the same space again. Just a little bit more before you’ll be able to steal a kiss from his lips whenever and wherever. 

You can’t wait to be back in the comfort of your bed, saying ‘goodnight’ to your parents and slipping out of your windows shortly after to meet Sangyeon at the convenience store. 

You can’t wait to spend some time with his mum—who he gets very jealous of sometimes—and steal more childhood, baby pictures of him. Along with that, you can’t wait for his mum to let you sneak into his room to steal some of his clothes. 

You can’t wait to see his blushing face as he freezes between the doorframe when his eyes land on how his sleeves would completely cover your arms, and your thighs and expose a little bit of your shoulders. 

You can’t wait for him to scoop you up in his strong arms, eliciting your series of squeals and giggles that he has fallen deeply in love with. 

You can’t wait for him to tuck you in bed, pulling his blanket up to your chin. He would then frame his larger body over yours throughout the night, making you sleep deeper and better. But your night, wouldn’t be complete until you delicately kiss him on his chin, cheek and lips. His night wouldn’t be complete either until he kissed your forehead, nose and lips, taking his sweet time on the last body part. 

Most importantly, the night wouldn’t be complete overall until your lips part each other and exchange ‘I love you’s.

As soon as you landed, the adrenaline of finally being in the same country, the same land, the same building knocked out the jetlag and you were suddenly wide awake. You felt a bit bad for the bottom of the seat in front of you and your backpack which was violently ripped out from its peace, but you would like to think that they would understand your sudden burst of energy. You race and slip yourself between the bodies of people who were most probably confused and amazed by how much your eyes were darting around the conveyor belt so quickly, trying to find your check-in baggage—but you didn’t care.

You care about is Lee Sangyeon.

Now, you passed through every security check, every random bag inspection, opening and relocking up all your luggage again one by one, your patience running out by the minute.

But it’s okay.

Because now, only one glass door stands in the way between you and all the people waiting on the other side. 

You watch from the distance as the automatic door opens and closes through other passengers. You were even able to catch a glimpse of some of your fellow flight passengers who spotted their loved ones immediately in the crowd, their hands releasing the handle brake of their trolley when they rushed into the crowd. Their loved ones cry and gasp at the presence that they have been so desperate for, their bodies swaying side to side to keep some of their emotions regulated in public.

Oh, how you know you wouldn’t be able to hold in your tears.

Exhaling and inhaling a couple more times, your hands grip the handle of your trolley, doing a final baggage check that everything is securely held in place and that you didn’t leave anything. Finally, you push the handle to release the brake and you start to walk over to the translucent glass doors. 

Time didn’t slow down. 

It just felt still. 

It didn’t stop though—it just felt still.

You could hear your heartbeat through your ears, your palms were sweating in nervousness and you could barely feel the ground that you were walking on with every step of your feet. The gush of wind pushes your hair back dramatically and your eyes water at the cooler air from the other side of the door. Metal barricades separate the arriving passengers from the crowd from both sides of your body and you force your teared-up eyes to carefully scan through the rows of the crowds and the signs that they held up. Your back straightens to accommodate your eyes’ effort in addition to your lips that move in the shape of the name of the person you miss the most. Unfamiliar faces fill your visual field and your feet finally take you to the end of the barricade, heart feeling heavy at the unsuccessful event to pick out anyone in the crowd that you know. 

But then…

“Found you.” 

His appearance explains why you were unable to quickly pick him out from the crowd if you didn’t focus on detail. Sangyeon grins at your shocked facial expression, watching your eyes slowly lift from the bouquet in his hands to the freshly black dye on his hair.

“Y-You—”

“What do you think?” His pointer and thumb raise to twirl a bit of his hair, his eyes still on you, “You always said that I would look good with black hair.”

“Good?” Oh, he knew what kind of effect this is having on you and he’s having fun with this, “Sangyeon, you—” 

His facial expression softens straightaway when the tears that you’ve been holding for so long finally drop to the ground and he strides forwards immediately as soon as he catches a glimpse of your quivering lips. Forget about the flowers, forget about the people around you, forget about how you were standing in the middle of the walkway. He sets his ‘welcome back’ gifts on top of your things, swiftly wrapping an arm behind your shoulders while the other one cups your cheeks. 

Sangyeon held your shaking body against his tightly, and it was good that he did, otherwise, you would surely be on the floor. You relished in the scent that you missed the most, purposely taking in deep breaths to ground yourself back to the present. The boy smiles at the realisation, letting your free cheek cutely rest on his chest. He hushes you softly, the swiping motion of his thumb on your cheek giving you a physical reminder of his presence—a reminder that he is with you at this very moment. Multiple kisses were pressed on your forehead in an attempt to calm you down and responded with a whimper as you tried to form words.

“It’s okay.” It really is, “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Your body responded to his affirmation, your arms finally wrapping around his waist, the tips of his fingers just barely intertwining behind his back. Your palms lay flat on his smooth leather jacket and your ragged breathing found a stable pace once again. The increased oxygen in your blood allows you to finally feel Sangyeon’s plump lips on your forehead and the blush begins to form across your cheekbones. 

“You’re really here.”

“I am.” You feel the way his chest vibrates at his deep chuckle. 

That’s all he said and it’s way more than enough. Eyes closed, in Sangyeon’s embrace, his familiar scent, his lips hovering on your eyelids to press kisses there—everything is starting to feel like home.

“You look handsome.” For the first time since you arrived, you finally look at this new hair colour properly. Your eyebrows furrow, almost a look of dissatisfaction and disapproval, “Too handsome.” This time, one of your eyebrows raised at the way he responded with a teasing smile, “How many people asked you out already?”

“Honestly,” He starts to act, tightly closing his eyes as if to think very hard. He prolonged his hum with the way you glared at him cutely, wanting to tease you for longer, “quite a lot.”

The answer made you scoff, tilting your head away and you started to pull away from his embrace. Sangyeon didn’t let you walk away fully though for he pulled you right back to his body. Your hands attempt to stabilise your body the sudden act by resting on the curves of Sangyeon’s shoulders. The playful look in his eyes disappears and the extra layer of moisture shows itself—it tells you that he has been waiting for the only person to ever see his tears to be within his arms again. Both his hands rest on your waist and your own eyes search for the emotions behind his, a hand wiping his lower eyelid. That act makes a tear fall before another one falls and it soon becomes a fountain of emotions for the older male.

“I missed you. So much.” The way that Sangyeon puts so much emphasis on the second and fourth words sent chills down your spine.

Your hand on his shoulder slides upwards to cup his face, the other downwards to do the same on the other side. With all the strength you have left in your legs, you put your weight on your toes, fluttering your eyelids close and lifting your body to press a longing kiss to his lips. You tasted his tears on the curves on his lips, but knowing well that it stemmed from love, made your heart slowly start to heal. Sangyeon reciprocates immediately, travelling his hands to the side curves of your body, stopping at your neck, gently tilting your face upwards to deepen the kiss. The kiss sweetly alternates with his own hugging your bottom lips, pulling away for oxygen, a little ‘I love you’ and diving back in to hug your upper lips.

This is what home feels like.

It’s not some building or some land that could be pointed out on a map. It’s not necessarily the photos and videos that you received, even though they comforted you on cold nights. It’s not necessarily the rushed talks and recounts of your lives because the second hand on the clock mocked the little time you would always have, even though you were thankful that you had that small gap to do so.

It’s actually experiencing all of the above, going through all those trials, all those confusing emotions, and still feeling love and support. It’s being able to just walk with defeat over the day’s work but as soon as you arrive back home, the feeling either washes away or you’re able to just vent it and cry it out. 

With the right people, you were able to let these experiences turn into lessons and precious memories—similar to how there are specific bricks to build the proper structure of a house. As those experiences build, so does the clear image and structure of a house. Sure, houses break down due to inside and outside factors but when it does, you’re confident that you can work it out and make it stronger. 

With those thoughts in mind, the corner of your lips tugged upwards and no words were needed for Sangyeon to know that the smile wasn’t mischievous, teasing or playful.

It’s one full of relief and happiness.

“Welcome home.” Sangyeon changes his words between your kisses.

You hum, waiting for the next time he pulls away to give a proper response.

“I’m home.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you' tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

[crusherthedoctor]

Hey everyone. It's been a while once again. And it's going to remain a while, because I've decided to actually leave.

No, this is not a joke. The fact that it's already been over a month since I last posted should indicate that I'm serious about this, and that this is not merely another two week hiatus. I didn't post about it until now because after the last hiatus, I didn't want to repeat my words from that again. That and because I didn't think it was worth it, cause it's me we're talking about. Eventually though, I felt conflicted over leaving people in the dark about it, so here I am finally clarifying for anyone who would want to know for some reason.

But I mean... what is there to say that I haven't said a hundred times before. I've tried to keep going. I've really tried. But I just don't have it in me to keep posting for the sake of it anymore, with the way things currently are. I have no motivation.

The Sonic discourse and the negative effects it's had on everyone, myself included.

The growing alienation as the vast majority of the current direction and especially the neverending SA2 milking which is guaranteed to keep going so long as it continues to get the initial hyped reactions they're banking on, as seen with the SXS animation and manga gives me little to latch onto, all while the few things of recent that I have had real, unironic interest in have been declared by the vocal majority to be either worth basically ignoring, or are actively considered Bad Actually.

The crisis of faith, as dramatic as it may be to refer to it as such, as I see everyone around me continue to cheer on Eggman's character assassination, and insisting that I'm actually just a gigantic moron who doesn't understand nuance for not seeing the infinite IQ chess going on that isn't fucking there because the execution continuously contradicts the supposed intentions on both Flynn's and SEGA's parts.

The endless and often way too personal abuse in private, and occasionally public, that I'm forced to deal with for not having the so-called right takes, and the unspoken expectation that I just have to suck it up because "it's what Sonic would do".

The struggle to start discussions for other media I'm invested in (ie: Spyro, Paper Mario, etc) during this Sonic alienation, because I'm apparently hopeless at starting them on here.

The constant frustration I feel towards the numerous double standards on the site, and how no one ever learns from them despite how many times they have egg on their face for it.

The internal hatred I feel towards myself for aspects about me beyond my control that are usually painted in a soul crushing light when brought up in discussions one way or the other (ie: autism), especially when it's evident they know nothing about it and thus overcompensate by pulling the "umm ackshully it's the worst thing ever and is a burden on everyone else around them, happy to help!" card.

The fear eating away at me that my writing isn't enough, that I have no place in the community anymore, and whether I really had a place to begin with. All I have is me... and me isn't enough. Doesn't feel like enough, anyway.

I've said all of this so many times. I'm sick of saying it so many times. But nothing changes. Nothing ever fucking changes. I go away for a couple of weeks, come back because I lie to myself that I should, and the cycle repeats. I want to be the best person I can be on here, but I can't do that if I keep having no motivation and only feel apathy or irritation. I don't want to let all of this turn me into someone worse.

So I have two options. Either I continue to endure this miserable cycle, I grow more disillusioned and unhappy still, and I risk making an arsehole of myself due to yet more stress and fatigue... or I get away from it all. I know which one sounds healthier. Some might call it giving up. Letting the people that hate me win. But I don't know what else I can do in my situation. I can't keep doing this for its own sake. I can't. I just can't. Not when I only serve as the resident grumpy killjoy.

We'll see if I have a reason to start again when the Year of Shadow is over. Until then though, I'm out.

See ya.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hello how are you :3? I was wondering if you could write E.J., Hoodie, and Masky with a s/o that has a lot of scars? (Toby too but platonic for him) I’m not sure how many people we can request so if it’s too many just Hoodie? I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable and thank you!

Various!Creepypastas w/ a scarred!reader

waaaah im so sorry for not seeing this sooner! i didnt recieve a notification for this ask!! really theres no limit to how many characters you can send in! i think my personal max varies from prompt to prompt!! mix of how they approach the concept of a scarred lover (friend in tobys case) with some hints of fluff! cause of scars will be vague as admittedly i didnt know if you meant general scars or SH! side note i hope this posts right! im writing this on my computer, im used to mobile!! + apologies for any weird wording or typos, im listening to music and im getting hyped!! not proof read we die like my spiderverse brainrot

Includes: Eyeless Jack, Hoodie, Masky and Platonic!Toby!

CWs: touch and go talk of potential past trauma, body image issues, vague mentions of SH(?) in EJs part + Toby's parts

admittedly admin doesnt know if its technically SH due to the nature and motiv but personally id still count it as such and tag it as such

Eyeless Jack;

he gets it, he really does. the basic run down of my hc/take on ej is that he wasnt always some flesh eating monster; just some dude who got caught up in some bad stuff

so naturally, he doesnt... really vibe well with the concept of eating human flesh, which can lead to a few... instances. from intentionally to accidentally harming himself while hes lost in his instincts

so hes no stranger to being a little roughed up around the edges

but hes a stranger to comforting; he'll likely approach it from a logical side before trying anything else. "you've been hurt," before going on a small tangent about the formation of scars. hes not the most... emotionally... good... available... person

so youre going to need to lay out the general basis for what you need for basic comfort, on days where your scars become an issue; be is needing comfort or a distraction. it may take him a while, but hell eventually start to pick up on cues and hints as your relationship develops

otherwise hes very neutral about them, again approaching them with a blunt view; seeing it as neither good nor bad. he doesnt draw attention to them, but he doesnt act like theyre gross

really just. vibing with it, doesnt make a huge deal of it since he feels he doesnt have any place to judge, nor does he feel its his business to pry for information

solid 6/10 imo, hell comfort you if you express that you need it but hell likely not go out of his way to do it

Hoodie;

Soft touches, he almost does it before he has your permission to touch you

naturally he has his own fair share of scars from various.. activities

really im still all jumbled up with how i wanna write him and masky; not sure if i want to make them like how they are in their MH source or lean into the proxy thing that was prominent in the early days of the fandom... lowkey leaning into the proxy thing for this post because im more... versed..? in that, but anyhow

hes more upfront and compassionate than eyeless jack, in fact hes probably the most caring out of the four in todays post... maybe thats because i read one (1) fic years back that changed my entire approach to his character but! yeah

subconsciously trails his hands on them when the two of you are holding one another; something gentle and intimate, not too obnoxious to make you self conscious, but not careful enough to go unnoticed

i view hoodie, and by extension brian if i end up considering him and tim fully seperate from their 'proxy' parts, as a very tactile person

true to the popular fanon interpretation, hoodie doesnt speak much. but that only makes him a better listener, so on days where things get hard, hell let you talk his ears off with anything thats bothering you. very rarely, hell speak up and offer some words of advice, most times hell inch closer to grasp you. though it does get awkward since most the time hes just. blankly staring at you silently without emoting or saying a word

overall? personally hes a 7/10 for me, i would rank him higher if he were more verbal, but thats just because admin has an easier time venting if its a two way convo; but overall hell make sure that your scars dont effect your worth

Masky;

very similarly to hoodie, masky also has his own set of scars for the same reasons

he probably starts pointing out his own scars to you and mumbles about where they came from if he knows their origins

this doesnt mean "oh hes invalidating your experiences and hes trying to make it about himself," but more so "hes showing that he really does get it and he doesnt mean to talk over you"

much like EJ he approaches scars with a very blunt and upfront mindset, but to a lesser extent. he admits that whatever led up to the tissue forming, it hurt. emotionally and physically, and hes not going to deny that simple fact. hell listen to you, have a conversation with you about it, and try to help you through whatever you may be currently going through regardless of if youre injury is relevant.

or at least, thats what hes trying to do.

hes still has his own personal issues regarding going about his own problems in a healthy manner but hey thats something for another post; maybe, if i remember

honestly this post doesnt have enough fluff imo, and i can kinda see masky doing this, but imagine he boops his mask against your scars in a mockery of a kiss (doesnt take off his mask often, in fact youll probably never ever see him without it on), i can see jack doing this too tbh

thoughts? 8/10, gets the bonus points for being less awkward to rant to imo, plus i think asides ej, i think i have a bias for masky for the simple fact i had the fattest crush on him when i was in middle school

Toby;

okay! this one is going to be interesting for one main reason! i actually havent touched tobys character in YEARS! so hes probably going to have the shorter list... obligatory i havent built any solid hcs for him past what was going on in the fandom in the 2010s, before toby briefly became a mild discomfort... but we're back in business baby!! (^^ dont feel bad for requesting for toby btw! hes no longer a discomfort, and if i didnt want to write for him i wouldnt be including him right here!!)

obviously we cant talk about his part without talking about his cheek. and other, similar hcs. while i dont think most of the self inflicted marks on his body were from a place of.. for lack of better words, darkness; it doesnt change the fact he still has them. i think a lot of them are from the fact he cant feel anything; accidental burns, gnawing through his cheek, digging his fingers deep into himself. really i could go into detail, but due to the aforementioned fact that my take on him isnt as developed as other characters + i really dont think its appropriate for this post (or really, anywhere on this account,), ill stop there

while he cant relate to the physical pain of what caused your scars, he can sympathize through your feelings. do you feel sorrow, or anger to whoever hurt you? hell be getting worked up right with you, because to him youre one of his closest friends

i feel like he doesnt talk much about his past, regarding his family. but hed tell you, and you can sure as hell bet that hell do his absolute damndest to grant you the same feeling of security.

hell probably touch and prod without truly meaning any harm, but thats because he can have problems with boundaries, but hell listen if you sit him down and tell him it makes you uncomfortable if it does

more so emotional than outwardly... supportive? idk the words, but hes very empathetic with you and tries to relate to you through emotion rather than feeling what you felt. honestly? kinda based for that, but maybe thats because i dont see feelings about this topic being touched on, usually its straight up about how the scar makes the person look or the physical trauma they had gone through, but idk, maybe thats just a me thing

he can be an asshole at times but hell usually backtrack and cool off somewhere else if you call him out on it imo

not sure if its because as im LITERALLY investigating his characteristics and interpretations as we speak, but i think im starting to relate to him so ER-OH!

anyways, i wish i could make his segment more... in tune with the characters above but its probably going to take me a while until im comfortable with how i portray this dude, which sucks because as a kid he was probably one of my favorites

i dont think im going to give toby a rating like the others; since i dont think i can accurate rate him due to the lack of proper concrete ideas outside of him being empathetic to your emotional pain since he cant relate on how much it hurt

im gonna end this here since im starting to sound like a broken record on tobys part so!

i hope you enjoyed this! characterization may be a little off but i blame that mostly on the fact that i kinda fell out of the loop in regards for writing for these guys (that damn spider movie! the brainrot threw me off my creepypasta grind!/j) but its good to be back writing for this fandom! it was a fun little brain exercise trying to figure out each character goes about this kind of thing without making them all the same!! with that being said, im going to go listen to an audio reading of tobys story so i can regrounded in his character and hopefully do him some justice in the future!

[timmy-bee]

hello beautiful people of tumblr.would you care to hear about this beautiful au ive come up with

boatem as liella (MORE ACTUAL THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT/A RUNDOWN OF WHOS WHO AND WHY)

mumbo as ren - ren is the school concil presiendet and mumbo is ceo… its like the same almost - ren is high class which means RICH!! mumbo is the RICHEST HERMIT!! - generaly formal guys that are very silly - i think like.cannot explain it but like if mumbo saw something serious he would act like he didnt see it (ren saw chisato was going to leave the school she acted like she didnt see it…) - "Her favorite saying is, "Never forget why you started."" <-mumbocore - ren got addicted to video games? MINECRAFT? pearl as chisato - pearl would work at a food truck in my head it feels fitting - she wold most DEFINITELY be the one to train the other guys with dancing & other stuff - gossip girl - okay so chisatos whole thing in ep 5(?) where she was getting left out when kanon keke and sumire were with sunny passion because she was so involved with the idol group but wasnt actually an idol herself ? yeah pearl coded impulse as kanon - shes like. . . just normal girl and impulse is just normal guy but theyre both actually weird (/AFF POS) - impulse would like .. . want to get into something and DESERVE to get into said thing but then absolutely die from anxiety during the audition / interview and not get in - the impulse and scar dynamic that comes from them being kanon and keke.. . . . - I DONT HAVE ANYTHING ELSE I DONT KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT IMPULSE scaar as keke - scar biggest hypeman to anyone ever i think " this is my little guy and if you dont clap and cheer for him ill blow this place to the ground " energy - ALL OF KEKE ENERGY IS SO SCAR!! - "NO IDOL GROUP ALLOWED?! THIS IS PUPOSTERUS! [IMPULSE]. WE NEED TO QUIT THIS SCHOOL RIGHT NOW" - completely hyped up to do something but then when it comes to doing it dies of anxiety but then bounces back instantly - keke images that are scar coded to me below - they both would and have chased down someone

grian as sumire - grian's the kind of guy to kidnap someone take them to his house/shrine and try to preform some stupid magic to get them to forget something that happened but also is actively learning the magic while he does it - SUMIRES LIKE!! the thing where she says "GALAXY!!" thats a bit grian coded to me i dont know what hed say though - grian WOULD stand out in the rain desperate for someone to team up with him just like how sumire stood out in the rain desperate for someone to scout her (cough cough SECRET LIFE cough cough) - like with sumire's thing about how when she was a child she only got side parts in stuff and she wanted to be the center in liella but then when they voted for kanon to be the center and she quit…. grian coded - grian wouldve done something embarrassing as a child thats everywhere on the internet if you search hard enough and his friends tease him about it THOSE ARE ALL MY THOUGHTS IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANY OF THESE HERMITS AND ANYTHING OF LIELLA REBLOG WITH THOUGHTS AND ADDITIONS IN THE TAGS ILL ADD TO THE POST !!!!!!!!!! or send an ask too

[bifronse]

The Outsiders social media headcanons except they’re still boomers

Since Pony is writer, he has multiple platforms but primarily uses twitter. Pre-Musk, he’s verified and is relatively active on it. He’s used the internet since the advent of it so he’s the most familiar with internet culture and lingo. He migrates to Bluesky after the Musk takeover

Pony’s fanbase skews young because of his heavily character-driven novels, so he has a hoard of teenagers that always bug him

Darry makes a Twitter to follow Pony. Rarely updates and is the most dad twitter you can think of. Posting pictures of his grills and family, as well as occasional updates about his construction company. A chunk of Pony’s followers found him and jokingly hype up all his tweets, no matter how mundane. He doesn’t know how to feel about that

Two-Bit is on Facebook and follows all sorts of humor groups, and he is blissfully unaware that over half the content farm shit that shows up on his feed is AI. If you tried to tell him about AI, he’d just laugh it off because “I don’t get that stuff”

After Pony leaves twitter Darry vows to stop using socmed entirely because he doesn’t want to bother learning how to use another one, Twitter was bad enough. He fails miserably once Pony sends him a Bluesky invite because he’s still The Worrier and Needs to know what Pony’s up to

Steve has a Facebook and most of what he posts is either just reposts of articles he finds (being a retired drug counselor he’s always keeping tabs on drug-related research), simple life updates, or strong opinions about current day cars

Steve eventually mutes Two-Bit because the reposts of content farm slop became too incessant. He swears up and down that it’s nothing personal

Steve and Pony have a constant tension over politics. They both like and hate the same things but Steve is significantly more apolitical. As an example: Pony hates Musk for being a scumbag billionaire, Steve hates Musk because he hates Teslas. So whenever they talk IRL, afterwards they take to their respective platforms to throw vagues at each other. Thankfully they’re on separate platforms otherwise it’d be a nightmare

The Curtises are, eventually, pushed into making a Facebook so they can all keep up with each other. Pony’s page collects dust but Darry ends up using it more than he ever did Twitter because, well, his posting style was made for Facebook. He’s also able to properly promote his construction company on there

Pony had a tumblr that he had to stop using ~2017 because the asks got too aggressive. Why that happened is up to your imagination

Bonus resurrections:

Johnny is one of those older guys that somehow gets sucked into streaming video games. You know the ones. He’s decently popular despite not actually talking much

I’m a Dally Optimist so he’d be one of those guys that goes around on different platforms to spread awareness about the dangers of gang life and prison conditions

Soda may be in his late 60s/early 70s but that will NOT stop him from fucking it up on Instagram and TikTok!!! He’s handsome so that obviously makes the old man fuckers go crazy

Soda would catch wind of the “hyping up Darry’s boring tweets” and join in on it, so Soda’s crazy thirsty followers would find Darry. It is Darry’s personal hell but he secretly finds it hilarious. Get it grandpa!

[heyftinally]

re: fact checking / believing media.

You handled that anon better than I would have. I got angry on your behalf. I’m sick of Swifties defending Taylor for very obvious flaws / problematic behaviour she exhibits.

Swifties also believe what they read. A lot of media outlets wrote articles to benefit Taylor. That anon was bitching cause you were discussing one that didn’t support Taylor.

Also Swifties not only believe the media when it comes to Taylor but they also actively believe the rumours THEY MAKE UP THEMSELVES. No one reported Joe cheated on Taylor, it was a fan theory that they believed into reality. And when it comes out she cheated on him they hype her up and then still attack Joe. I’ve seen antis get hate for pointing out Taylor has a drinking problem (with concern not hate) which Swifties venomously deny she does. But that hate comes from the same Swifties who create the narrative she had to drink to escape Joe. Like they can’t even keep their story straight.

People telling antis to stop believing everything they read and stop speculating when it’s the EXACT behaviour her fans exhibit is laughable. Her fans are actually worse cause they make up false stories to the point they all believe them. “She’s pregnant” is only coming from her fans. They are inherently more problematic towards Taylor. This woman they apparently adore.

Honestly I’m not even convinced they’re fans of her anymore with how they behave. It’s just habit to defend her. Or FOMO.

This. All of this. If I had a dollar for every time a swiftie made up facts about something - Taylor's behavior, history, quotes, anything really - I'd have enough money to go to, like, two Taylor Swift concerts (y'know, because her overpriced tickets are like 20k a pop in some cases)

In all seriousness, though, youre100% right that her fans make shit up constantly and then believe their own theories as fact. All the times I've ACTUALLY called out Taylor, I've used facts. Let's use my Fortnight Ableism callous as an example - you can go find sources for everything I wrote in that post. It's not hard. "Abuse in mental asylums" will turn you up countless results on google. The pictures of her house are from an article *about her house*. I ran that post by my disabled friend to get their stamp of approval on my statements, too, because it's THEIR history I was speaking about, so I asked them to approve it. And they did.

I also fact check things like, say, my election news. Or crimes that happened (just today I fact checked something that happened near where I live, and what I'd heard had been false).

I don't post every random thing I fact check. I also don't post citations for everything that I *do* fact check, because this isn't a college essay and I'm not obligated to prove my research to a bunch of internet strangers.

But as usual, swifties love to throw baseless accusations around just to feel like they did something. Honestly, it was kind of funny to metaphorically curb stomp their accusation. Like, I'll post my own receipts, I don't care. Funny how the proof shows they can't read, though lol.

Now this isn't an invitation for swifties to come harass me - y'all can kindly fuck off. But it would be nice if they would at least pretend to have self awareness before they try to come at me.

[hacked-by-jake]

Shit rambling because I need it okay? Personal shit and kinda moonvale rambling. You don't have to read it. And warning, my words are probably a mess and this post is weird so.. I'm sorry xD

I don’t want to lie, I have zero capacity for the Moonvale posts right now. There's so much shit going on and the posts don’t really hype me up. I mean, I so glad they are active currently but otherwise.. Wah, I don’t know. I need the date. Like really. Not jokingly or anything, I need it to feel some kind of excitement again. And I don't know, I don’t even feel like posting the updates here, my head can't manage to do that. I'm glad other people do it. And I also don't manage to bring out some kind of duskwood shit post or anything. I know no one is forcing me to posts here but I feel like I have to anyway. This blog has many followers, I guess it's not a secret, so I kinda feel like I have to keep it going. And the thing is, I want to keep it going, but as I said, my capacity is like zero.

And the biggest shit. I have to finally submit to the psychiatry. And beside all other struggles that keep me away from finally sending it, Moonvale is in its way as well. I feel like I can't submit there when I don't know when moonvale will be released. Sounds weird, I know, but it's a real thing, trust me. So, Everbyte, please, tell us something. xD

Also, I get sick when I think about I might not be able to play episodes because I'm sitting in a psych ward and have other things to do. So I pray I will be lucky enough and the episodes will come out before and after my little vacation there. But as you see, I didn't even submit there but I'm still trying to plan Moonvale around it.

When I'm not just lying around in my bed I'm positing on Tumblr so it's kinda the only "obligation" I have. Don't take the word too seriously. As I said, I now I'm not obligated to post here. But for myself, and in my own head, I feel this way. I spent so much time here and I was allowed to build up this blog about a game I like and I want to keep it up. And want to stay here and to post and to be the blogger and the blog I used to be. For many a source to talk about the game/s and to ramble and send theories etc. And I want it to stay this way. For myself and for you all. Besides the love you all send me so often is a huge part of positivity in my life. Almost the only source of positivity I have. And I won't lie, missing this would also be a huge loss for me. I don't want it to sound like you have to send me love or anything. Please don't keep it this way. And I also don't want it to sound like I want this love. I post here to get my thoughts about duskwood out of my head. But I can't deny that it's a nice side effect. And I mean, wonderful. It makes me feel happy and loved and I fear to miss it at some point.

But really, if you read this here, don't feel like you have to tell me things like "we will always love you here" etc. It's very kind and lovely. But I think all those things are a problem in my head so, I don’t know.

Gosh, this post is weird, I know. But these thoughts are bothering me a lot and I was holding all of this back since a few weeks already so I'm going to just ramble the shit out now. Nobody has to read it or react. But this is a reminder to myself, it's my blog and I can post what I want. You can do it, girl. 💪

And I think getting this out into the void might calm my mind a bit.

I probably have more to ramble about but I think right now I forgot it. Anyway. If you read it, thank you. And I hope you will have a fantastic day/evening/night. And especially a amazing new week. You're doing wonderful and you deserve love. 💚

Thank you all for everything, seriously. 💚

OK bye 🫣