#This is probably written during a small dissociation not gonna lie XD

[hacked-by-jake]

Shit rambling because I need it okay? Personal shit and kinda moonvale rambling. You don't have to read it. And warning, my words are probably a mess and this post is weird so.. I'm sorry xD

I don’t want to lie, I have zero capacity for the Moonvale posts right now. There's so much shit going on and the posts don’t really hype me up. I mean, I so glad they are active currently but otherwise.. Wah, I don’t know. I need the date. Like really. Not jokingly or anything, I need it to feel some kind of excitement again. And I don't know, I don’t even feel like posting the updates here, my head can't manage to do that. I'm glad other people do it. And I also don't manage to bring out some kind of duskwood shit post or anything. I know no one is forcing me to posts here but I feel like I have to anyway. This blog has many followers, I guess it's not a secret, so I kinda feel like I have to keep it going. And the thing is, I want to keep it going, but as I said, my capacity is like zero.

And the biggest shit. I have to finally submit to the psychiatry. And beside all other struggles that keep me away from finally sending it, Moonvale is in its way as well. I feel like I can't submit there when I don't know when moonvale will be released. Sounds weird, I know, but it's a real thing, trust me. So, Everbyte, please, tell us something. xD

Also, I get sick when I think about I might not be able to play episodes because I'm sitting in a psych ward and have other things to do. So I pray I will be lucky enough and the episodes will come out before and after my little vacation there. But as you see, I didn't even submit there but I'm still trying to plan Moonvale around it.

When I'm not just lying around in my bed I'm positing on Tumblr so it's kinda the only "obligation" I have. Don't take the word too seriously. As I said, I now I'm not obligated to post here. But for myself, and in my own head, I feel this way. I spent so much time here and I was allowed to build up this blog about a game I like and I want to keep it up. And want to stay here and to post and to be the blogger and the blog I used to be. For many a source to talk about the game/s and to ramble and send theories etc. And I want it to stay this way. For myself and for you all. Besides the love you all send me so often is a huge part of positivity in my life. Almost the only source of positivity I have. And I won't lie, missing this would also be a huge loss for me. I don't want it to sound like you have to send me love or anything. Please don't keep it this way. And I also don't want it to sound like I want this love. I post here to get my thoughts about duskwood out of my head. But I can't deny that it's a nice side effect. And I mean, wonderful. It makes me feel happy and loved and I fear to miss it at some point.

But really, if you read this here, don't feel like you have to tell me things like "we will always love you here" etc. It's very kind and lovely. But I think all those things are a problem in my head so, I don’t know.

Gosh, this post is weird, I know. But these thoughts are bothering me a lot and I was holding all of this back since a few weeks already so I'm going to just ramble the shit out now. Nobody has to read it or react. But this is a reminder to myself, it's my blog and I can post what I want. You can do it, girl. 💪

And I think getting this out into the void might calm my mind a bit.

I probably have more to ramble about but I think right now I forgot it. Anyway. If you read it, thank you. And I hope you will have a fantastic day/evening/night. And especially a amazing new week. You're doing wonderful and you deserve love. 💚

Thank you all for everything, seriously. 💚

OK bye 🫣