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satubby · 3 months

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[Once upon a dream: Where you were happy]

As once in the dream, where you forgot your memories by my side, I will still be waiting for you, so please just don't forget who you were … My precious daughter of man - Malleus Draconia

[Disclaimer: This may contain errors so I'm sorry if they bother you or confuse you when reading. I didn't think this would be so long, I will finish part 3 in a few weeks. Thanks for your support, credits to the fanart I use, if I find their artists I'll post them.]

Morning was rising outside but the curtains cast shadows in your room, then the doors opened and the maids came into your room, they were all making as much noise as ever, you sigh exhaustedly refusing to look at them. "Come on princess, get up, today is your 16th birthday" One of them said, pulling you out of bed.

"I'm coming, I'm coming... It's too early for this" You sigh, getting up and heading to the powder room, you swallowed your bitterness smiling like the 'worthy and pretty princess' you were, then the maids. did their job starting to comb your hair. Your gaze was distant and you constantly clutched your dress, you were beautiful yes, but you honestly didn't care.

"Ouch, damn it" You whisper, feeling their eyes constantly on the back of your head.

"Watch your mouth princess" murmured one, they continued brushing your hair and making you presentable, they always made sure you looked good. As you sat there, the doors opened again and a tall figure walked in. It was the housekeeper serving the queen, she entered haughty and powerful, all the maids in your service began to murmur. "Please hurry princess, you wouldn't want to embarrass the emperor and empress, would you?"

You almost wanted to wring his neck but you knew better than to do stupid things. So you stood up without paying attention to his 'reprimand' and bowed your body politely, bowing your head as well, after all, you were a princess without any power.

"Yes, thank you for letting me know...I assure you I only wish the best for the kingdom and the imperial family" She looks you with that very, very stiff and bitter face. After that incident like every morning, you moved towards the emperor's castle because you lived in the empress castle, farther than any other room, you used to live in the basement where they put weapons and old stuff but it was something.

Walking down the hall, your arrival is announced, with trumpets and a red carpet. You know they're just pretending, no one gives a shit if you got in or not.

"ATTENTION!!! THIS IS THE INCOMING HEIR PRINCESS!" closing your eyes you enter with dignity as you were taught, you felt the pressure on your being before those judging eyes of the pompous nobles, so you tried not to look bad. Some looked at you with barely concealed disgust, others simply didn't look at you and the rest whispered like silly little birds cackling incessantly amidst rumors and gossip.

Your strides echoed with the sound of the floor as you walked towards the rulers of this place you hated to call home; the looks they gave you were either filled with disgust or filled with envy as they stepped aside to make way for you. The hall in front of you slowly filled with people after you walked away and approached the throne on the platform.

The emperor was sitting upright on his throne, next to him was the empress, looking majestic and presumptuous, as always. The empress smiled slightly as you knelt before them, both extended their hands waiting for a kiss from you, most of all it was the woman before you who gave you that silent command.

The empress stroked your hair with false kindness when you complied with her order, still with her smile on her face she continued to enjoy your humiliation, it disgusted you to look like a mere dog... And the emperor didn't even do anything, he never really cared about you.

"Happy sixteenth birthday my dear.... Now I hope you won't do anything to make us sad; or would you like to see her highness disappointed?" Her lips brushed your lobe warning you with sincere malice, then she walked away from you smiling as if nothing had happened, you didn't even react, you knew what she wanted, you wouldn't give her that.

"Thank you for- Your worries, your highness and beloved emperor.... I wish you good vibes and I hope you live long!" With those words, you forced a forced smile swallowing your little pride and the bile in your throat felt bitter. You sincerely praised yourself, since you were good at acting, you had to do it if you wanted to survive.

Again the emperor looked at you without interest and gave you permission to leave, so you did and like every year, you were alone on your birthday, the gifts were not really for you, much less was this party... And honestly you had long ago stopped giving it importance.

Once he gave you permission to leave, you could leave the throne room and get away from this heavy atmosphere that only made you feel sick and want to vomit because of so much hypocrisy in the air. Although before you managed to get out of sight you could hear the nobles start whispering and gossiping behind your back.

They were noisy, much louder than a rooster would be at morning crowing time, but what could you do? Nothing and just thinking about them gave you headaches. You continue down the halls, with a couple of maids walking behind you who don't care for you either. They never really liked you, so they just followed you as their job ordered, even you wouldn't want to be with yourself, you were a bitter mess.

"Please leave me alone, okay? I need air" You turned around stopping at the entrance towards a balcony. They look at you confused but they care so little about you that they better bow and leave, you on the other hand headed for the nearby balcony, stretching your legs and leaning your body against the marble railing.

Looking down at the ground, you let out sighs and snorts, then unleash your usual attitude of resignation and rebellion, only being alone you can say or do the little you can, the little freedom you had.

"Fuck those fucking nobles, I didn't even want to come— Fucking loudmouths, they're just vultures hoping I'm wrong, honestly... GO TO THE FUCK THEM ALL!! That fucking housekeeper, the emperor and the fucking empress!.... Anyway, I hope this day ends soon"

You let your head fall on your shoulders, looking resigned to your situation, you were sick of following these stupid rules. A lady doesn't do this, a lady doesn't do that— You are at your limit and yet you can only complain to yourself or suffer your punishments.

Your eyes unconsciously looked at parts of your body, you bit your lips in frustration.... Those scars still hurt, but you had to bear them because that made you a princess- Although honestly you always had that doubt, Did princesses really do that? In your stories it was something else. But laughing, remind yourself that they are just that, stories annnnd, since you were a child you didn't know who you were before coming here, you were always told what to say or do, as you were foolish and naive, you blindly followed in fear of that damned bitch of an empress.

You were the puppet in her theatrical play, used and punished if something didn't go her way. Sometimes you wanted to kill her, but you'd rather keep your neck in your body. No one would help a dirty blood like you, a stupid girl with no connection or power whatsoever plus your stupid insignificant elven powers weren't even strong you could only heal scrapes or make little lights because according to rumors; your dead mother wasn't a complete elf.

"These heels burn so much, maybe I should throw them away... But that damn woman will punish me if I do. It's a real shame my birthday sucks and the weather is so nice, which is ironic because I'm a mess."

You drop your body onto a nearby table, playing with your fingers, you didn't know at what point you started to fall asleep.

While you were dozing on that table, lost in a kind of dream, you began to feel like you were floating in the air, reality became a dream and vice versa. At some point you opened your eyes in a strange place, it was all white and there was only you, but your body was shining, as if the stars had given you their remains to make you shine.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the giggling of a little girl, a very familiar one, that hair and tattered clothes were familiar even though you couldn't see her face.

"Hello? ... How strange, I swore I heard something-"

You scratched your eyes thinking you were still hallucinating. You had just fallen asleep and didn't know how you got here.

"Haha... Nyum!"

There it was again, that childish giggle attracted you again, then turning towards where it came from, you saw a completely white silhouette standing in the middle of the void.

"Hey girl, what are we doing in this place and-? Wait!" You exclaimed starting to follow her, as she started to run, the emptiness started to change.

The more you ran, the more it changed, the ground felt soft as you now stepped on clouds. Tall mirrors filled your vision like a maze, then again you heard the girl's giggle.

"Haha! You can't catch me.."

Your eyes followed her silhouette in confusion, she was as energetic and elusive as... You, from childhood. You didn't know why, but you began to follow her, all these hallways of mirrors reflected both figures.

"Girl don't run! Ugh, just tell me what this place is, fuck I just wanted to sleep and I ended up here!"

Sighing tired from so much running, you stop to rest, however something caught your attention; some mirrors were worn or broken, others simply had nothing to reflect.

And the farther away you went the darker this place became, you two glowed as the darkness swallowed you. Then you see her entering a specific mirror, it was full of thorns and wilted roses, this place was silent, her giggling stopped being heard, slowly you went towards that mirror.

"That girl- How strange, she took me all this way just to see this mirror?"

You whisper without understanding this strange dream, if it was one to begin with.

So lost were you in your thoughts, that you don't even notice when your hand goes through the mirror and you are swallowed by it, unlike others, this mirror is dark as much as the the glass it was made of as its withered wooden frame.

Screaming as you fall, you feel the air seep into your tresses shaking and making a mess of it, your dress suddenly changed as you landed in a brutish thump.

With pain in your body, you slowly got up spitting grass, that strange fall made you feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. Slowly you could stand up on your own feet, you were without shoes which seemed strange but what did you expect? This dream is strange in itself.

"I must stop getting so much in my head— come to think of it, where did that mirror take me?"

You turned around looking at your surroundings, however the girl glimpsed out of the corner of your eye again, laughing at you and making you angry.

"HEY COME BACK HERE YOU SHATTERING BRAT!"

Now you felt like the empress every time you yelled at the silhouette. Fuck! Some habits stick with people.

She kept running into the mist of this dark forest, with you following behind her, the branches on your feet and the wildlife of the place making you scrape, but it didn't matter. You wanted to know how to get out of this place.

"Jijiji! I'm faster than you..." Whispered the brat, her silhouette running and when you finally came out of the dark forest, the light filled her eyes blinding you. When the effect passed, you stopped thinking for an instant, this whole place was magnificent and magical, but the girl was gone.

In its place, the vast tulip field filled your view, in the middle of it and far away on the hill, lay a beautiful oak tree the size of the most pompous castle presumably held by royalty.

Mesmerized by this magnificence, you walked down the hill, it was a few more meters but something guided you to the oak tree. The closer you got, you heard a deep and melancholic voice singing.

Its beautiful whistling caught your attention, the closer you got the better you saw someone's back and— That little girl sitting next to her.

Never thought that you would be Standing here so close to me There's so much I feel that I should say But words can wait until some other day

Both were relaxing on a chair made of wood and flowers as a handle, the stranger kept singing; for some reason his voice gave you a familiar but pleasant peace, you didn't know why or how, but you keep watching them swinging.

It's been a long, long time Haven't felt like this, my dear Since can't remember when It's been a long, long time You'll never know how many dreams I've dreamed about you Or just how empty they all seem without you

The wind was blowing away the colorful petals of the field full of those tulips, you standing still in the tall grass, mesmerized by the whistling of that stranger, still looking at the girl, they seemed so comfortable with each other.

It's been a long, long time It's been a long, oh long time

And then that song stopped, breaking like a spell as well as your illusion, for just as the figure turned, his face could not be seen for he silenced you, causing thousands of tulips to cover your vision.

"WAIT PLEASE! Who are you—"

With an abrupt silence, you were left in the emptiness of before, broken glass halves scattered on the floor surrounded your feet, the girl was gone, only you and that hall of mirrors remained.

Sighing, you pick up several pieces and your fragmented reflection looks back at you.

Your thoughts stop when you feel someone pull you out of that place and your eyes open as you feel the pain of a slap. Your eyes immediately went to those responsible for that: The maids in the service of the empress, who don't even look sorry for having done such a thing.

"Hey, you know you shouldn't sleep like that in public, you should be ashamed of yourself? What if the nobles gossip about you? hahahahaha."

You clutched your reddish cheeks due to the hard slap, you growl silently wanting to do something but you just bit your lip in anger and swallowed it with 'dignity', which was the only thing you really had left; nothing belongs to you nor did anyone in this palace seem to take your position seriously.

You are just an ornament for the empress and a sack of potatoes for others to vent their frustrations. You had nowhere to go, if you left they would surely kill you, because the dirty blood should not live.

"Please, couldn't you be less rude, Tsk! If you were seen slapping me, wouldn't you go unpunished? I'm still the emperor's daughter. It's frowned upon for a commoner to hit a noble, let alone royalty like me" You sneered with measured sarcasm, if they wanted to pull shit against you, you'd mess with them, it's all or nothing.

Your joke made them turn pale, the other maid behind gasped and took a step back. The one who slapped you swallowed as she quickly pulled herself together. They did not want the wrath of the empress if such rumors began to circulate, their necks, and perhaps yours, would roll.

"You should be grateful princess because I have not yet reported your attitude to our noble empress, be good and we can forget about this incident" They said with a smile on their faces, the other nodded his head as the speaker held his face confidently, as if he had all the power in the situation, but his eyes reflected the fear and falsity of his words.

If they did that, they would pay more than you, a simple spanking would not be mere punishment for commoners like them, on the contrary for you, who you would be 'disciplined' for your indecency as a noble,

However, you were interrupted by the empress's housekeeper (that damned boot-licking spy) She advanced towards you and all the maidens present bowed in fear, the two in front of you also trembled.

"Now ladies don't make a fuss in the middle of the balconies and princess let's avoid making a fuss, please if you are not going to do anything at the party then go back to your room. As for you as maids, you have permission from the empress to discipline her, but don't overdo it..." She looked at you with cold condescension, as if she were superior. Biting your lips, you force a smile crumpling your dress in anger but swallow it all, smiling politely and standing up, wiping your dress and bowing.

"Thank you, I will follow that sage advice, as you always know what to do, with your permission." Annoyed and frustrated once again, you left in anger and your footsteps echo loudly through the empty corridors of this place, listening to the maids laughing at you, as always.

Those damn maidservants, they always had something to say, didn't they? Laughing and talking behind your back every chance they got. Then there were those damn nobles, they were all the same, looking down on you. They always had something to comment on, whether it was your looks, your status or how you behaved. In the end you were just a trophy to them. A princess just to show off, nothing more.

Your thoughts were diverted by the sounds of the party, soon the second waltz would begin. But even if you were to go there, you would not be welcome, which is silly and ironic because this party is for you but no one actually congratulates you, the bitch empress steals every birthday you had, only to receive praise for her benevolence towards you... A bastard with dirty half elven blood.

"Phew, at least this day is winding down."

You sighed again as you vaguely thought about your dream, but you were more curious about that stranger, you didn't understand why he sent you back to reality, nor did you know why that girl led you there. In the end you walked down the hallway ignoring the lights and the drunks, it was like that every year, just nobles inflating their egos and gossiping behind each other's backs.

Hallways full of drunks were nothing new to you. Every year the parties ended the same as the others, with drunks and gossiping nobles. You couldn't wait for it to end, you always found it exhausting and annoying. Yet here you were, standing in the middle of the hallway with all these drunken fools around you... Surely there were some fucking and eating with lust around.

"Hello princess!"

A voice called out behind you, one you sadly recognized from all the years you had lived in the palace living with the nobles.

The stupid, disgusting son of Marquis Duboff, that dog rather than a man, always insisted on touching you and then complained when you refused. Snarling at fate, you tried to run away from him but he grabbed your hand and cornered you on the wall almost going out to the stairs. "Come on princess! Don't be like that, the other time I saw you flirting with other men, maybe the little slut can't help strutting around and wanting to fuck cock? You can't fool me, I know you like it—!"

Drunk breath filled your nose, you wanted to vomit. His smell and everything about him disgusted you, so when he held your wrists, you kicked him in his private parts, you were irritated beyond belief.

"Tsk! When are you going to understand that I HATE YOU? You're a garbage existence, so.... If you'll excuse me, m-a-r-q-u-i-s!" With those words, you fixed your dress, you could be cheeky and follow orders for your own survival... However, you weren't going to play along with his games, that human excuse was a stubborn and pathetic being because you didn't want to call him a man when the vacancy was too big for him.

This one knocked you down putting his hands in your hair, you in defense tried to shake him off but in the end between pulls, he knocked you down hitting you in the face and calling you an ungrateful bitch.

The blow threw you to the ground and to the side, sending you stumbling into a wall, you almost died if you fell badly down the stairs. You clutched your cheek as a groan of pain escaped you and, of course, the pathetic bastard was still standing there mockingly.

"You're not going anywhere princess, even though you act like an ungrateful bitch...I'm sure you'll soon come to your senses when you see that I can be gentle..."

He sneered at you as he looked down at you from his elevated position holding an entire bottle of wine. His smile grew as he took a step closer to you, striding over and drinking.

Then he started fighting you when you pushed him back wanting to leave, and he had the audacity to call you a spoiled brat, when IN YOUR LIFE! You've had some of that, anything you wanted was squashed and used as an excuse to make you less or crush your spirit.

"STUPID BITCH!", you hear him yell as you poked his eye with your fingernails, in an attempt to stop him from taking your clothes off. He finally smashes the bottle on your head, making you blurry and blood dripping from your wound.

You couldn't stand it any longer and you ran away crying, not out of sadness or helplessness (maybe it was that, but you would never say it out loud) but mostly it was rage, pure and undiluted. You felt pathetic, a fragile doll that broke for someone else's enjoyment.

"Fuck all of you... Ick! You guys are assholes" You clench your fists drawing blood from your wound with a torn piece of cloth from your now torn dress and head to your room, well, those fancy furnishings and decor really couldn't be called a room, it wasn't yours to begin with, just a guest room modified to mimic that of a room for royalty.

Still, you decided it was better to go to your old, dirty and abandoned 'room', which was just the basement where they kept junk and rusty weapons. As you enter, you close the door, dropping into a crouch and hugging your legs, enclosing your face in your dress breaking that elegant facade into sadness and anger.

You were exhausted and tired, very tired of everything, of everyone. Running away from the damn marquis, from the empress, from the nobles. You just wanted to be free, to be happy and find a place to just... be, instead of being a princess forced to live in a damn box and be judged or belittled for every little action.

Sighing as you sat there in that dusty old room, tears streaming down your face as you hid in your dress, you continued to wander in your thoughts. You felt alone, cut off from anything good or happy in this damned place, if there was any happiness in the falsehood of nobility to begin with.

Your snot was running from your nose, your makeup was smeared and you didn't care at the time, you just wanted it all to be over. Sometimes you were angry at your dead mother, you blamed her for your useless elven blood running through your veins. You would even cut yourself to try to get it out and stop being a dirty blood, but all you get were injuries with punishments from the empress, you honestly don't know when was the last time you smiled or if you ever did,

You wanted to keep hating her, she's a mother who never saw you grow up, but you didn't want to be like them, just another human, someone who pretends and discriminates against others just because. It would be hypocritical of you to do so, but sometimes you just want to scream and hate them freely, but it's stupid to do that and you just put your anger aside.

"It's useless, everything is the same every year, what did I expect this time? Mother, is my existence wrong? They just use me and throw me away when I'm not useful. I'm getting tired, how much longer can I go on with this performance?" You cried rubbing your eyes and wiping your smeared makeup with your dress, it was ruined anyway.

Your eyes wandered around the room, looking at old dusty furniture and consumed by time, now they are blurred memories. If you think about it, in the past for some reason, you used to write letters to someone, hoping they would take you away from this place, but those hopes are ephemeral like happiness.

You continued to sit there and cry, your feelings of hopelessness and anger pouring out. The makeup on your face was ruined, but you didn't care, it would be just another reason for the empress to call you a savage, mocking you.

The zero memories of your childhood or the existence of your mother, your life here, everything came over you. It was very hard to face it all, very hard to hold out hope for any kind of happiness for yourself. After all, you were nothing more than a princess in a cage.

For a moment, the sensation you felt in that dream made you think of the stranger, and the memory came to mind, the magical and serene sight. It is contrary to how you felt now.

The moonlight illuminated the old dusty room, your eyes for some reason went to the old table, many broken drawings on it, for a moment you saw yourself as a child writing right there, however something blinded you like a light in your eyes. Curious you get up going to the table, the last time you were here living and sleeping you were exactly 11 years old, so you had left everything the same as when you left.

"What the hell—?" Your gaze went to the pieces of paper, then moving them you coughed through the dust that was released after years in neglect and, shaking it with your hand— A strange piece black as darkness received you, the one that has accompanied you in your life since you are conscious until you forgot it, and if not for today you would still be in oblivion of its existence.

Then, when you took it, an energetic discharge came from the tip to your head, giving you headaches and like a vague memory, you were pulled towards that vision, but it was blurred, what you knew was that you were in a forest. Your hands were small but you did not control this memory and this childish body.

Your ears perked up as you heard your own voice laughing, but it sounded more animated. Sometimes you think the current you is so different from your childhood self, less bitter and miserable.

"M■□ll■s-sama, it's unfair that you always let the human win!"

Another voice interrupted your diatribe and in turn you recognized that it was male, of course with a youthful and scandalous touch. A familiar laughter made you open your eyes in this dream(?), then that stranger whose name you did not fully understand, answered the other man, strangely you did not see who they were, because in this memory you were still hiding behind a tree.

"S□b■k, don't be hard on her, besides I don't want to make her feel bad, my ■□■■■□ is important" Your giggles kept coming out as your eyes made you expectant in this strange dream, just sharing vision with this uncontrolled childish body. The strangers behind the tree, shrouded in mystery, continue to argue.

'What are they talking about?'

You thought to yourself, not your dream self, just your current self. Strangers are still looking for you, you looked like you were 5 years old by the size and high pitched giggles you let out. And that was before you came to the palace, what was not clear to you about this situation and your past self which you didn't remember much, so you are not understanding anything.

The two voices kept talking as the you in this memory peeked out for seconds, unable to really see their faces due to the speed at which you were hiding. You were looking from your childhood perspective, hiding in a tree and laughing to yourself, it all seemed less difficult if you thought about it. The other two males seemed to be looking for you, still arguing as they looked around the area.

Your childhood self seemed cheerful, again you wondered if she was really you or if she was just a past fragment. You looked happy, as if you were having fun playing some kind of game with these strange men. What were they talking about, and why did it seem so familiar, you didn't know, but it hurt your chest to hear yourself laugh.

Since you came to the palace the childish games were over; so seeing this broke you in a certain way. Then you felt big hands taking the shoulders of your childish self, you laughed and named the stranger, but again the seemingly important words or names were cut off and erased, fragments remained of that stage of yours, which you did not know.

"T■un□■ta□■u! hehehe you found me.... You were 3 seconds faster, though it's unfair because S■b□k always complains" Your words and voice were lively, sweeter and in comparison to the bitter words for this life you were leading. The stranger whose face was covered by the sunlight because you were in his arms, his shadowed face looked at you, his fanged lips smiled at you.

His fangs glistened as a smile broke out on his face, laughing at your childish words. His voice was soft and warm, but no less gravelly and elegant, almost like the glow of the incandescent sun on you in the dream.

"You were well hidden, I could hardly find you. But I know your usual hiding places, little ch□■dr□n ■□ m■n." He said with lightness in his voice. One of his big hands moved to stroke your head, tousling your hair as he said this. Even though it was hidden behind the blinding light of the sun, you could still make out its outline....

It had a rather strange silhouette, horns coming out of its head and long wings behind it, something you only saw in forbidden books.... A dragon, but it didn't make sense that it was humanoid.

In fact this whole situation confused you, unfortunately you came back to reality when the darkness swallowed you and you fell to the ground with a sharp blow, the dragon's scale no longer shining as brightly as before. You got up carefully, you were a mess in every sense of the word if you looked at yourself in a mirror.

Picking that thing up carefully, you wonder if this is what made you see that. Are those your memories from when you weren't here? But it didn't make sense, the empress said she found you with two elderly brothers who were farmers, so why - why were you having these weird flashbacks?

You sat on the old bed, holding the dragon scale in your hand and looking at it. Your head was throbbing and your thoughts were a mess. That vision... it was so vivid, like a memory... But how could it be a memory? You come from those farming families, the empress herself had said so... Though knowing her character, she could lie to you as she did about your mother's death.

Those two men in the vision, you couldn't make out any details about them. But why did you feel so close to him in that dream? Besides you had already seen him when you fell asleep on the balcony, is everything connected...?

"Phew, I better go or I might get punished... But I can't leave this here, if they come to clean up, which is rare, they might see it, maybe I should take everything left of this old place" You put the dragon scale in your secret pocket inside your breasts, just when you were about to leave, you also saw the letters hidden under so much trash and dust. Some were torn and some were stained with ink.

Your look is nostalgic, really when you were a simple and silly girl you didn't know how to hide things. So you took them, on your way out you took caution in looking both ways down the dark subway corridor and when you saw the shores clear, you left.

You exited the subway, making sure that no one was there, before leaving. As you did so, you returned to your room as quietly as possible. You hoped that the party was over and everyone was too drunk to notice your absence...

As you walked through the halls, your mind kept thinking about that memory, if it was one. You had so many questions about it, about your past self and who you really were before you turned 6. It was so clear, so real... But who were they? What if... Was it all a strange fantasy of yours? Now you have a faint fragment of hope in you, even if it's vain and selfish.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the empress waiting for you in your room, you panicked hiding the old letters and anything suspicious, she looked at you with false elegance and the lunar shadow did not help your fear to diminish.

"W-what are you doing here? I thought you were with the emperor"

You whisper avoiding looking at her, she stood up, unaware that there was your faithful maid. A maid who barely entered months ago and quickly befriended you with insistence; but that doomed her like many. Now she's dead on the floor, again you lost another ally, though you tried to prevent anyone from coming to you, trying to be nice when you couldn't afford that, it's a weakness the empress would exploit.

Said woman continued to look at you with a cold stare, the false elegance on her face unchanged.

"Watch your tone of voice, princess." He said in a cold voice. His cold green eyes scanned you, observing your ragged and disheveled appearance with an almost mocking look on his face.

"I heard about what happened between you and the marquis earlier, my dear." You swallowed bile cursing everyone and her for that false sweetness in her voice. She took a step towards you and her tone quickly changed to a higher pitched one.

"You know how much I despise it when you embarrass me like that."

Her hands went to your bare, messy shoulders, your hair was ragged and that only added to her condescending tone, mocking your messy appearance. You bit your lips, she knew everything, she always does. You're more sure that damn dog Duboff made a fuss complaining about you, you just expected the worst in situations like that.

"W-what's wrong with it, Your Highness? I only defended myself, or are you afraid of rumors? For example... That you don't take good care of me, and even if I AM THE EMPEROR'S DAUGHTER! You still treat me badly-" Her nails finished digging into your skin as a warning but you were so fed up that you continued.

"And yes I did, I don't give a damn anymore anyway, that dog deserved it! He's a scumbag, he wanted to abuse me, hahaha you don't even care about my image, only yours and your ego-Urgh!" A slap echoed in the empty room. The empress snarled with a contorted face, you laughed internally as you watched her lose her composure, she was a fucking bitch to you.

It was quite satisfying to see the empress lose her composure in this way. Her face contracted in anger, a complete contrast to her normally reserved and cold demeanor. She had just slapped you, leaving a red mark on your cheek.... but you couldn't help but laugh at this. Seeing her lose control like this was almost funny.

The empress snarled at your laughter, the anger and irritation clear on her face. She moved closer to you, grabbing your hair and tugging on it.

"How dare you talk to me like that... You're a dirty bastard blood!"

The empress's face was now contorted with anger, frustration and humiliation. After all, how dare you speak to her like that, especially at a party meant to celebrate her benevolence? You should thank her for even existing, but here you were like a brazen rat.

"You ungrateful, insolent bitch!" She spat, tugging at your scalp and grabbing your cheeks hard so you could look her in the eye.

"How dare you speak to me like that, I who have given you everything! Your position as princess, your meals, your clothes, let it be clear to you that you are inferior to me, without my help the emperor wouldn't care about you!"

"... I didn't want to be this! Do you know how many nights I starved to death just because you and those maids wanted me to? You don't know anything, my life is not really mine but I'm running out of patience, even when I wanted to run away, you didn't let me... I begged you, but no more!"

"You're a-" Her hand reached up to hit you again but when you tried to pull away she only abused you more until it hurt all over, then complained about your rebelliousness and savagery.

He continued to prattle on about your insolence, debating whether he should kill you or not, but decided to leave, only punishing you by locking you in the room and ordering that no one was to come in or go out to feed you for a week.

You got up when she left, she might as well kill herself and you wouldn't care. After a while, you changed your clothes after a relaxing and decent bath, no insults or dirty water. You were self-sufficient enough, since you were treated like a maid when you first arrived, you did everything.

At the end of the night you lay staring at the letters on your bed, those letters written by you that for some reason you don't quite remember why you did it. "Ahh... what a day this was."

You were left in your room, alone once again. The empress had left you with a burning cheek and a week of hungry solitary confinement. But it didn't matter, you were used to it.

With slow steps to the bed, you plopped down on the bed and then settled in, your eyes drifting to the old letters scattered on the bedspread. They were written in childish scribbles, but somehow they had some meaning. Why did you write this? And to whom? You had long forgotten the reasons behind it... You had priorities, like not dying for that woman's whims.

With nothing to do, you decided to read them, starting with the one with the oldest date and paper. The letter began somewhat disorganized, it read like this:

March 23, first date of the solar calendar. 'It happened again today, I miss you Tsunotarou so much..... Mairy yelled at me again, you know, I know I'll never give you these letters but I hope someday to see you so I can read them for you, although I think it's more for convenience. Nobody wants me here, I shouldn't have run away from home, Uncle Lilia was right. Humans are not the same, much less easy to understand. They are like me, physically they are but they don't act like I thought they would. Everyone says I'm a dirty blood worse than a commoner, Sebek was right when he said we are bad, but I'm not like that.

Your expression softened but mostly out of confusion and the feeling that comes from reading this. So that's what the nickname you were talking about in the dream was... That silhouette was Tsunotarou? You didn't know but your head hurt thinking about it and even for some reason you got stuck trying to say that nickname, but still you continued reading.

April 16 of the solar calendar 'I'm very sad, I hardly remember Uncle Lilia anymore, I'm very afraid. Tsunotarou... what if I forget you too? I don't want that, so I'll keep writing letters, so maybe my adult self will read them, I hope everything gets better, because today they made me mop the floor and the housekeeper punished me for something I didn't do. The older maids threw water and cow dung on my floor, when I had already cleaned it, I really want to come back to you Tsunotarou'.

Your expression became somewhat inexplicable, you felt the tears fall again for no apparent reason, you did not understand this feeling. Perhaps compassion for your previous innocent self, who was hurt and crushing your spirit to become what you are today.

The cards only continued to get worse. Your past self was young and innocent, so full of optimism and hope, but instead was only met with suffering. She was treated like dirt, forced to do tasks she wasn't cut out for, and others around her bullied her...and no one did anything to stop it. Your heart ached as you read the letter from your past self, and tears streamed down your face as you read it.

You clenched the letter tightly in your hand, your heart felt heavy in your chest... You didn't know if you wanted to keep reading because you were honestly so devastated by the constant abuse you've normalized, but reading all this just makes you feel sorry for yourself.

Still, you catch a glimpse of one letter in particular lying on the corner of your bed, it's crumpled and musty as if it had been wet. Trembling you pick it up reading it and it just opens up another memory you had blocked out for yourself.

XX December of ... ??? 'Tsunotarou... I no longer remember why or why I am writing this, who are you, that I am writing this to you? I don't know, maybe it was all a dream and you, Tsunotarou whoever you are, don't exist. Last week I was caught trying to escape, but I don't remember the reason for it. Honestly it's all confusing so I'll stop writing these meaningless letters. I just know I've been hiding them, so I have to respect that about myself.... Well, this is goodbye.

Now you remember! This is the last letter you wrote, you only know you finished it because of the first line, that nickname, you wrote it weeks before and you don't remember much. Suddenly your head starts to hurt and you get a lot of cut memories that make you cry in pain.

As you read that last letter, you were hit with a flood of memories. They came back vividly, but it was still a little fuzzy in your mind.

You remembered why you wrote the letters. You were writing to him, that man you played with in the woods in your dream. You remembered him... and you remembered his nickname. Tsunotarou. Even the mere thought of it made your head throb. But as the memories slowly came back, you couldn't help but sob at the truth of all the events and the realization of it.

What little you know of this is due to the only clues you had. With determination, you were determined to seek the truth behind your whole life and your lost happy childhood, so these days where the empress locked you up, you would flee through the secret corridors you had discovered in this room since you lived in it.

Wandering the aisles of the library in the middle of the night, you were looking for books on magic or creatures of that kind, which were burned years ago by the wars, it was hard to find them.

Despite feeling so tired, your heart was beating with determination. You knew you had to find the answers behind everything. It was time for you to find out the truth about your past and the real reason why you were here. You had so many questions running around in your mind....

But it was already late and you could already feel the tiredness invading your body after searching the library, so you walked with your books in hand through the corridors until you reached your room. With a tired sigh, you lay down on your bed, thoughts still running through your head as you slowly drifted off into an intermittent sleep...

And so for the rest of the week, you went to the basement to see if there was anything else but there was not. Then you rummaged through the housekeeper's room finding the strange bag that you now had in your room, in front of you.

There was a strange old stuffed animal, some exotic flowers you didn't know about, a map crumpled and yellowed from years but most surprising were the many dragon scales in a jar.

This was definitely yours, but why would you have this here? It didn't make sense and besides there were 2 books downstairs, one had drawings of 4 men, three of them with pointed ears and one was like the silhouette in your dream, with horns.

The other was a human like you but wore a uniform; also, the second book had strange spells in it. The spell book was like the few pieces of page you found in the library on the hidden side. Thoroughly checking between pages, you saw a piece of paper with something written on it, there was also a drawing made by you most likely, underneath the apparent lullaby.

Something about the drawing of the horned man seemed strangely familiar to you, though you didn't know why. Maybe there was a connection between him and that man in your dream... Curious, you read the writing on the paper, although due to the bad handwriting and scribbles on it, it was difficult to read.

You let go of the paper from your hands because your head started to hurt, a male voice echoed in your erased memories. It was a quiet place, a comfortable bed and finally you saw black tinted lips and fangs, he sang you that song but again, his face was blurred.

You gripped the paper once again tighter, your head throbbing from the strange memory that came over you. The memory was fuzzy, but it was still clear enough that you could make out the vague silhouette of a man, fangs and lips tinged with black. He was singing that song to you, his voice soft and comforting.

Te agarraste la cabeza, tratando de recordar más, pero el dolor de cabeza sólo pareció empeorar. ¿Por qué tus recuerdos volvieron repentinamente a ti una vez más, y fue realmente Tsunotaoru, el hombre que te parecía tan familiar...? No lo sabías así que simplemente te volviste a dormir, cayendo profundamente

The breeze on your face welcomes you back, dazed you open your eyes seeing that you were now on a marble table near the oak tree. Confused you wake up and this time you see that you are not a teenager, more like a girl, this confuses you a lot.

Walking aimlessly, you hear in the distance in the same oak tree or further on, in the tulip field, someone singing, that same song you read in that paper.

I know you I walked with you once in a dream I know you That look in your eyes is such a familiar gleam. And I know it's true, that visions are rarely what they seem.

The tune was different, but undoubtedly it is the same voice and the same place as when that little girl in the dream led you there, the same person singing that lullaby.

But I know you I know what you will do You will love me once and for all As you once did in a dream

You kept moving forward, the smell of flowers filled your nose and as if taking the place of the girl who you assume is your inner self, you continue moving towards the figure on the hill, standing among so many flowers looking at the sun.

But I know you I know what you do You love me at the same time As you once did in a dream I know you I walked with you once in a dream

The wind was soft and cool against your skin as you walked through the tulip field. The sweet smell of flowers filled the air and the sun hung high in the sky, casting a warm glow over the surroundings. As you continued walking, you heard that familiar song echoing in the air.

"Who are you really?" you whisper in that childish little voice, this time you control this body and even if you expected an answer, there is only silence.

The closer you got, the more your heart pounded in your chest. And then, you finally saw it: a tall horned figure standing a few feet away from you.

Something in his majestic, magical and calming presence made you cry. At this moment you became a little girl taking the place of your inner self, now you just wanted to hug that man and run in his arms, like a game.

"Tsunotarou... that's what your name is?" those simple words made the horned figure look at you, with a slow step he walked up to you bending down to look at you.

The stranger smiled at you as he bent down to your level. He gently wiped away your tears with his thumb, his gaze warm and affectionate.

"Yes, it's me" he whispered in response.

"I have missed you so much." This time your inner self spoke for you, since you wouldn't be able to understand its identity or the feelings it provokes in you, but you don't want to push it away either.

The man dressed in black hugged you tightly, squeezing you close to his chest. It was a protective embrace and you could feel the love and affection in his touch.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to see you again, the clues I left you in your dreams, do you still have doubts my little girl?"

You nodded as you let yourself be carried by him, all your stress or bitter attitudes gone. There is only you and that lost innocence.

"Sorry if I don't understand anything, it's just that I forgot you and that frustrates me" This time you spoke from your heart, with the truth. Without lying to anyone much less yourself and he seemed to understand.

"Everything will have an answer, but I've missed you too, I can't be near you because I wouldn't know how to control myself, I may lose control if I see you more than I should" His whispers sounded melancholy and plaintive, but deep down his tone threatened to overflow into madness and rage.

"Then why didn't you come for me? I don't remember but I feel like I sink into a sadness thinking about you" This time he kept silent, his face you couldn't see but you felt the tension in his body.

"...There were reasons beyond my power that prevented me from that, besides if I went after you I could have accidentally killed you in my rage looking for you."

Despite his words you felt disappointed with him, you still decided not to hate him, you didn't want to be a bad person, no matter how bitter you were.

"I understand... But could you answer me something, why don't I remember you well? I know you had something to do with me however, I don't remember, much less know who I was before what I am now."

The strange man again took your face in his hands and you saw why you couldn't see him, there was a mist blurring his face.

"I don't think it's time yet, but I assure you that in a few weeks you will know... Until then, I will see you and answer your questions, my little daughter of man. Because we saw each other in a dream-"

You wanted to keep asking but he kissed your forehead and you fell into a dream within your dreamlike sleep, finally waking up hyperventilating.

"... Fuck I couldn't ask him his real name."

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aangarchy · 11 months

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Alright. I've rewatched the trailer like 20 times by now and i've been processing it.

First things first: anyone that's gonna talk shit about Gordon Cormier is gonna have to go through me first. I've only had Gordon!Aang for a day and a half and if anything happens to him i'll kill everyone here and then myself got it?

Just look at him! This is the exact big eared cute little kid i wanted them to cast for Aang. He looks adorable and honestly his outfit is growing on me.

The glowing arrow looked cool as hell. I like that the light spread through his tattoo almost like veins. I'm still curious on how the full avatar state is gonna look, how they're gonna get the glowing eye effect. Please don't let it look goofy.

Y'know what does look goofy?

Is it better than the m night shyamalan appa? I guess. Does that mean it looks good? Well.... at least momo sort of looks cute instead of some folklore nightmare like in shyamalan's version. But also you can tell in this shot in particular that it's very green screen-y

Then we go over to the bending, the limited shots we have of it. Mainly firebending was shown (a little airbending too but kinda hard to get a stillframe for that one)

Idk how to feel about it. In screenshots it looks alright but the shots while they were moving looked a bit off, especially the one where zuko's kicking. We only got very limited shots and that's intentional. I feel like the bigger cgi fails are gonna show up once we get the full show. If the bending looked good all the time i feel like they'd be showing it off by now.

What i don't like, is how apparently they're gonna SHOW Zuko getting burned. Like sure in atla they didn't bc kids show and Nickelodeon wouldn't allow it, and netflix can take darker turns if they so please. But i personally always felt that scene made so much impact because we didn't see it. Iroh is telling it from his memory and he didn't look when it happened, so we don't see it either. It's like a courtesy the show extends to both Zuko and the audience. We just hear the harrowing scream, and that's enough to know how devastating it is. I don't need a dramatic overlook so we can see the whole thing in detail, netflix.

Another thing is the hair in some scenes.

Daniel dae kim looked better in that promo photo, bc here you can just see how the bulky goatie was glued on. And then Sokka's hair..... where's the ponytail? It's laying completely flat against his head... why? Is it bc that's Ian's hair and they didn't know what to do with it? Literally get a comb and tease that bitch. This is like the complete opposite of Jackson Rathbone's hair in the shyamalan version, and somehow that full maybelline ponytail makes more sense than this sad excuse of a tail. Either way at least Suki looked dope.

Another thing i found weird about the trailer is the narration. I think it's either Iroh's voice or maybe Gyatso's? (I haven't heard Iroh's actor talk yet so idk, but it felt like it was being said TO either Aang or Zuko) but the lines they gave him... it felt like some weird mumbo jumbo tbh. Something something about the past and present being the same and it's up to us to know the difference and be the difference? It's saying everything and nothing at the same time and it felt kind of out of place. They're probably saving the iconic opening narration done by Katara for the full trailer (i hope???) but still they could have just gone with music, or maybe just a few iconic existing lines?

The music? Fire. Nothing needs to be added there. Was i kind of hoping for a different soundtrack? Maybe a bit. But am i mad? Not at all. They clearly took the nostalgia route with the more epic version of the avatar theme, and i can only respect them for that.

So far, very mixed reviews for me. I'm morbidly curious and very nosy by nature though, so i'm absolutely watching.

#avatar the last airbender #atla #avatar #atla netflix #netflix atla #atla live action #netflix

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mirai-e-jump · 9 months

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UTB (Up to Boy) Magazine, February 2024 Issue (Vol.334) ft. Hirakawa Yuzuki Interview and Photo Shoot (translation below)

Publication: December 22, 2023

Immovable Upside

Currently appearing in "Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger," the currently airing Super Sentai series, actor Hirakawa Yuzuki-san makes her second appearance in our magazine. She's changed her hair, having it cut into a shorter style, as she presents her pure and mature duality, which has become even more transparent.

-We've been rushing through the year-

"You've cut your hair short, and your look is totally different from the last time we saw you. Personally, how do you feel about your current short hairstyle?"

Hirakawa: Before I started acting, I always kept it short, so it somehow feels nostalgic. I cut it because of my role, but I thought it was abit of a waste since it's been that long for about 5 years (laughs). Still, I think it'll be fine since it grows quickly.

"Starting from episode 27, the second chapter of King-Ohger is set two years later. We think the change in hairstyle made it easier for you to make changes in your performance."

Hirakawa: That's true. I think I'm able to show more strength. I think that after two years, they're more aware and prepared as a king, and that they have a greater sense of responsibility.

"Now that the story has progressed considerably, are there any memorable moments from the episodes that have been broadcast so far?"

Hirakawa: In episode 25, the sense of distance between Rita and their retainer Morfonia, or rather, the values of their relationship have become much closer. It was a time where Rita gathered the courage to take another step forward on their own, so that episode left quite an impression on me. From there, the way they interacted with Morfonia changed completely, so I think it was a turning point for them. Also, in episode 38, they reveal the face they've been hiding up until that point, and showed all kinds of facial expressions as an "idol," so I hope you enjoyed it.

"It's already aired, so if you haven't seen it yet, please catch up and watch it…..! By the time this magazine comes out, filming for the final episode will be underway, right?"

Hirakawa: In about another month or so……"We've got such a long time before it starts!," is what I thought, but only for a moment. I think it was more instantaneous after the Summer film ended. Until then, we weren't used to filming, and everyone was in a state of just trying to figure things out. The cast members have been good friends since the beginning, but since we spent alot of time together, including during the regional promotional campaigns for the Summer film, we became even closer, and that time really flew by.

"For those who view things similarly, the "loss" seems to be intense."

Hirakawa: It might be because me and the rest of the cast are starting to become aware of the end, or maybe it's because some fans are also like, "It's coming to an end….?" I still go out to dinner with all the cast members after filming, so I think we'll still probably see each other again ever when it's over. We've been together for a year and we've gotten to know each other very well, so when I imagine the end of filming, I feel incredibly sad.

"As a fan, I'm going to miss seeing everyone's friendly conversations on Toei Channel very much……Now, 2023 will soon come to an end, looking back, what kind of year was it?"

Hirakawa: We've really been rushing through the year. I've been working hard during the filming of King-Ohger in order to make it better and to help myself grow. I was able to experience many things this year, as there were quite a few jobs that came about as a result of King-Ohger, and it was the most thrilling year for me as a performer. Of course, there were many things I worried about, but I think it was also an extravagant year, filled with many happy and frustrating experiences.

"What kind of year do you want 2024 to be?"

Hirakawa: I think I'll be apart of King-Ohger until the first half of the year, when we perform at G-Rosso, but after that, I'll have to move forward on my own. I'd like to "polish" my inner self and become a more appealing person. As for my work, I'll do my best to continue to appear in productions without taking any breaks inbetween.

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valiantroeagleangel · 8 months

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Take care.

Jolly Karlsson x female reader.

Hurt/ comfort, shower sex, oral, unprotected sex, fluff.

Mama's tag list: @circle-with-me @somewhere-diamond @malice-ov-mercy @smokeynaomi @darkhallcorner @loeytuan98 @sthnog @cookiesupplier

Had this idea for a while, finally posting it now. Hope I'm doing my boy some honour. You'll tell me. 🫠

Saying that your day sucked was an understatement. It was horrible. You had this important project that got you worked up for weeks and when you finally presented the final version to your boss and colleagues everybody pushed you down saying that it wasn't good enough, that your work was useless and bad. Yeah, today sucked. You thought that after your presentation your day would be better but now that it happened you were just depressed and disappointed. Your heart ached excruciatingly and you wished you could just shush it down.

When you reached your home at the end of the day you were just a mop, ready to drag yourself on the floor without any kind of will. Jolly quickly spotted you as he was scrolling on his phone, sat on the couch. Without a word, you immediately dropped your coat and bag away and jumped into his arms. Your head nestling on the crook of his neck you let out a pathetic whimper.

His hands quickly found your back and your nape, scratching the roots of your hair softly as he cuddled you. "What's wrong baby?" Is all he asked in a low voice, aware that it might have something to do with your stressful project. Still, he didn't want to open the wound directly by talking about it.

"They hated it." Your voice was breaking and muffled by his body. With your strained tone you weren't sure that he could properly hear you but he hugged you closer, his head moving to kiss your hair.

"What happened exactly?"

Slowly you got your head out of his neck to look at him in the eyes.

"They said it wasn't enough, that they gave me this project because they thought I was doing better work than that but that now they realised it was an error." You started to get overwhelmed, vomiting all your stress and anxiety on him because it was all you were able to do. Now that you started to unleash you couldn't stop yourself. "How could I thought that I was capable of doing it?" Your voice cracked. "Now they're going to fire me. I swear Joakim, they were so disappointed and harsh towards me that tomorrow I'm good to be replaced." Tears started to roll down your face, you got up really early this morning and the fatigue was talking for you, no strength left for you to rationalize it. "What am I going to do? I can't lose my job.."

When you finally paused long enough for him to respond he gently cupped one of your cheeks with his hand, brushing some tears that were rolling down it.

"They won't fire you, baby. Maybe it's not you who is incompetent, maybe they were expecting something that isn't achievable." Slowly, to not scare you, he approached your face and left a soft kiss on your other cheek, stopping the tears from falling. "You worked day and night on that project I'm sure it was brilliant. They're just a bunch of assholes that like to exploit people. I would like to see them work like you do. I'm sure none of them is capable of doing it."

His words were a bit soothing to your heart. Jolly was always so kind and tender with you that it was enough to make you cry again. Ashamed and desperate you threw your face against his chest, your hands surrounding his waist. He hugged you back, letting you rest on his chest for as long as you needed.

But after some minutes without moving at all, Jolly started to consider the fact that maybe you were falling asleep on him. Shifting a bit he made you groan, not happy with how he was pushing himself off the couch. "I'm sorry baby but I have no blood left in my legs I need to move a little."

You groaned again, getting off his lap as you sat next to him on the cushion. Jolly sighed in relief, shaking his legs in the air but you were still pouting, the sad expression not leaving your face.

"Do you want to take a shower? It could relax you."

You shook your head, not deciding to move as you would rather rot on your couch forever. You did not want to do anything or to feel anything. You just wanted to numb your heart and emotions down.

"Come on. I'll help you if you want." He got up and held out his hand to you. "Let's go."

You didn't even have the will to protest that, giving in you took his hand and he stood you up. Gently he pulled you with him towards the bathroom.

Still not very determined you sat on the washing machine, watching Jolly desperately trying to get some reaction out of you. Coming closer to you he grabbed the bottom of your shirt, unbuttoning every button one by one before pushing the fabric away from your shoulders. You didn't move a bit, letting him do as he pleased. Once the piece of clothing completely off, he caressed your shoulders, approaching his lips so that he could leave some kisses on one of them.

Your bra quickly followed the path of your shirt, soon meeting the ground as he unclasped it in a mastered motion and threw it away. His lips didn't leave your skin as he kept kissing your chest, one of his hands encountering your waist to push you towards him. At some point you tilted your head back, your fingers finding his hair to tangle themselves in it and you felt him smile against your stomach, happy with your reaction when he pushed away.

He got you out of the washing machine, unbuttoning your pants and taking them down. Less obstructed by your thoughts you tug at his t-shirt, passing your hand under it to caress his happy trail and stomach.

Smirking he quickly grabbed it and tossed it over his head, letting it join the rest of your clothing. His jeans and underwear followed shortly before he passed his hands on your hips, kneading them with his large hands.

"Get them off for me, will you?" He asked, passing his hands under the sides of your underwear as he left you to go and turn the shower on, the cold water running aground the empty cabin.

You obeyed in silence, getting rid of your panties to join him under the shower head. Jolly immediately attached himself to you, his hands surrounding you from behind as he started to caress your belly. His lips couldn't handle being left alone as he pressed them on your wet shoulder, slowly rising to your neck.

You titled your head on the other side for him to have more room to operate. His hands rambled on your hot and wet body, cupping your breasts as he brushed over them with his thumbs, his lips still sucking on your skin.

"Let me take care of you, baby." He breathed out, the hot air echoing on your skin, giving you goosebumps. "Let me wash all those worries away."

This time you definitely gave up. Even if you weren't convinced at the beginning you just wanted to feel Jolly's embrace, as close as he could be. You only nodded, too focused on the heat growing in your stomach as his hands continued their ministrations and he, once again, smiled in your neck at your response as he turned you so that you could face him.

Still letting you under the hot water his lips captured yours for the first time, finally allowing you to relax in the kiss. A small grunt escaped you as you surrounded his neck with your arms to push his body into yours. His hands on your back, they lowered themselves on your ass, cupping it to massage your cheeks.

Breaking the kiss he started to kneel in front of you, forcing your body to stick to the wall, both of your hands reaching the tiles to have better support.

Jolly didn't waste time and pushed your hips on his face in a second. His hands wandered on the back of your thighs, joining their interior. Assured he started to nib on the skin there, leaving red marks darkening because of the water's hot temperature.

One of your hands left the wall to grab his hair, pushing his face away from your legs as you looked down, your eyes meeting. He looked at you with his pupils dilated, breathing a little louder than before. He didn't say a thing as he caught one of your legs, putting him on his shoulder before dipping his head deeper into your intimacy.

You couldn't help but let a small whimper out, your grasp on his hair tightening as he furtively lapped at your clit. Unsteady you leaned more on his face, looking for more friction but he kept cat licking you teasingly. His fingers didn't stop to draw closer to your core each time they caressed your inner thigh.

Already on an emotional thread, you didn't want to deal with his teasing tonight and pushed his face down your folds, forcing his tongue to flatten against your intimacy.

Jolly raised his eyes at you only to meet with your throat, your head tilted back as you breathed with your mouth half-opened, water hitting your chest.

"Fuck", you heard him curse at your feet when his fingers finally left your lap, instantly joining your core while he pushed one into you. This time he put a little more enthusiasm, eating you out with more force as he added a second finger, pumping it inside of you until he reached your sweet spot.

Defining a pace that he considered good enough he caressed you like he never did, focused on every little moan you could make, every little sound that was escaping you or with what intensity you were tugging at his hair. Your legs trembling he kept you in place with his other hand, alternating between his sucking and lapping on your clit, the sound of it making all of the act extremely obscene.

The heat of his breath on you got your stomach tightening, your orgasm growing stronger and stronger at each one of his motions.

"Shit Joakim." You could feel all of your strength leaving your legs as you approached the edge, your moans getting louder, making you bite your lower lips.

"You're doing so good for me." He moaned out to you without stopping himself. Each one of your whimpers encouraging him to keep his pace until he had you crying his name, your vision whitening as you spasmed under his touch.

Out of breath, you looked down, stroking at his hair gently until he got up, still holding your body in his strong arms so you would not puddle down the floor.

"Thank you." You said with a dumb smile, trying to fall down from your high. But it wasn't enough for him. He wanted you to forget all of your worries, to be fucked until your mind would go blank. All he needed you to think about was him, he needed you to feel only him, nothing else. And even if you considered that you were good enough now, you were not. At least that's what he decided.

You tried to stand by yourself to pull him under the water with you but he flipped you down, making you squeak as you faced the wall.

"We are so not done, baby." He pressed his hot body in your back, his hands deepening on the fat of your hips as his member hit your lower back.

You whimpered again when his hand passed to your front, pressing on your belly to rub you on his hard cock. He ground on your ass for a few seconds until he got you impatient, your core pulsing for his presence.

"We're done when I say we're done." His lips approached your ears as he leaned more on you, whispering "You're not getting out of here."

You nodded, your lower lip stuck between your teeth. A small grin settled on your face as his severe tone worked so good on you. A little more eager you moved your ass on him, letting his cock brush between your ass cheeks.

His grasp not loosening itself he kissed your temple before pulling away. His fingers drew to your folds, brushing them as he made you clench over nothing. Your head fell forward, your forehead hitting the cold wall as you pushed your ass up to his body.

"Yeah, show me your pretty ass like that." He groaned enjoying the view you were offering him. Teasingly he rubbed his tip on your clit before thrusting into you. You both moaned at the feeling of his cock filling you up, making your head spin. Jolly didn't move for a while, enjoying how hard you were contracting your walls around him to get him thrust around. The so little pleasure you were getting from this was already overwhelming. Your mind was foggy, these sensations being the only thing you could think about, almost drooling for the pleasure.

"Please move." You sighed, leaning on even more on the wall so you could wriggle your hips against his crotch, desperately working by yourself.

"Should I?" One of his hands fell on your ass, smacking it softly on the way. Timidly he moved inside of you, enough to make you want more but not enough to unravel your hunger. The only thing you did was whimper, your pussy clenching over him again and again until he finally decided that the play was over, pushing his hips firmly against yours.

Still weak on your knees you rested on your forearms, trying to stand up a little to encounter Jolly's hips halfway, enhancing your sensations and the way he was hitting deeper inside of you each time.

Jolly tried his best to support you while he fucked you like a starved man. The pouring water was still so hot, your skin slipping through his fingers. Jolly's hair was dripping all over his face, some cold drops hitting your back when he was leaning on you. The more he was approaching his climax the more he attached himself to you. Straightening your body with one hand he held you against his chest, his fingers caressing your lower belly, trying to feel himself inside of you. His lips found the crook of your neck again, travelling between your nape and your shoulder restlessly.

You threw one of your arms back, trying to reach for his head, to hold something to keep you from going insane. All he was doing was grunting in your ear as he overstimulated you. His fingers now lowering until they found your clit, rubbing circles in rhythm with his motions.

"More. Please more." You wished to say something else but that was the only thing you could think about, repeating it like a mantra in case Jolly decided to be an asshole and tease you through the night. But he didn't, he only fucked you harder and harder like a beast, satisfied with your words, satisfied that he got you dumb and begging for more already.

For an instant, he pushed you down only to make you face him again before he trusted back into you. Kissing you, his cock pumped in and out of you at the same pace as before but this time he fully carried you against the wall, letting you completely lean on him as your body was getting so weak already. His head at your chest height he lost him, moaning against your collarbone while pushing his forehead on it.

Maybe it was his lips on your skin, the way his dick was pounding into you or his fingers on your clit, you couldn't recall what made you lose it but your second climax hit sooner than you expected it to, blowing your mind as your body gave up on you, convulsing between his arms. He continued to fuck you through it, only pulling out when he felt like he was about to come, finishing against the small of your back in a last grunt.

This time you were completely worn out, only breathing as you let your body limp on his. After some time passed Jolly got you both cleaned, rolling you in a cozy robe before he went to look for some clothes. Lending you one of his shirts and a pair of sweatpants he dressed you up in silence, letting you mutter yourself in it.

Once you got out of the bathroom you jumped into his arms again, giving him a hug as you rubbed your face in his chest. His hands immediately found your hair out of habit and he cuddled you a bit more.

"How are you feeling?" He asked softly, not to scare you up as he was afraid you would start to perish again. But you were so gone that you didn't even think about it, all you could feel was his scent and your sore muscles relaxing you completely. All you wanted to do was snuggle yourself into the covers of your bed, Jolly's body hugging you tightly.

"Away." You responded and he nodded, kissing the top of your head.

Jolly had special methods to take care of you and your worries but it worked quite efficiently, wasn't that all that mattered?

At the end of the evening, when you nestled yourself in his body, surrounded by all the covers of your bed, he gently stroked your hair praising you as you succumbed to sleep.

"You're doing your best in the world, don't ever let anyone take you down." You only hummed at him, not even listening to what he was saying. His deep voice was enough to lull you as you gave up to Morpheus.

#jolly karlsson #bad omens #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #smut #fluff #joakim karlsson #joakim jolly karlsson

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theerurishipper · 9 months

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Hi~ Hope you have a lovely day. I want to get your opinions on my rant lol and ask.

Marinette is such a disappointment of a lead female character in a western magical girl cartoon. She isn't a good leader and all her team consist of yes men and women and sidekick Chat Noir where her real partner Alya is standing over to the side. I liked her in the first two season and maybe some in s3 but the s4 and onward just got to me ngl. It's her world and we're all just living in it. Miraculous is so weird when it comes to team dynamics because I get she's guardian but I really wished it were someone else and not her because she chooses people she already get along great with. It fun for team dynamics to add be different and broader.

The whole she's just 14 the fandom spouts only goes so far how many messes do you do until you realise you need to own up to them even at that age when you should know better on your conduct ?

I get it hard to communicate but onwards I always thought the bigger of the two in the conflict was her because of her secrecy and her controlling tendencies. I disliked it so much in the ephemeral episode and her betraying her partner disgusted me. Sorry to those who like or defend her character this much but I can't stan or like a character that does this much crap to a friend let alone a love interest and then gloss over or minimize it and not be called out for it. Like, are people standards that low they think she's a good leader or a good proper representation on feminism when this show reeks of misogyny and misandry. She's the ultimatum voice for Astruc.

A communication issue with her Chat was fine a long time ago but now in s5 she crossed it hell nah how do people still support a ship with her knowing she followed Hawkmoth command for Adrien. I literally can't anymore with this show. Every guy she likes gotta be so 100 percent in effort and like in the Shadybug special him always comforting her makes me so jaded whenever she cries what about a change in dynamics had we ever seen her comfort him in turn how are people invested in this ship? Like that time in the bench and she just thought of ways to woo or give presents instead of just comforting him is so sad to watch.

She really followed in Master Fu steps. The bar is in hell and she crossed it in the finale. There is no excuse no handwaving it away and i know in my heart they gonna minimize it for Adrien own good. Everything is for his own good huh? What good is it rooting for a ship that just reeks of pity points. Like, she was never my favorite but who knew 8 years ago she'd pull a stunt like this and people bending over and doing mental gymnastics to rationalise this insanity. She really is a good foil to Gabriel ironically to bad she has no sway in this family drama we call the Agreste.

I know she has good intentions and it's not wrong for her to wish to save her prince but like thats all that is intention. Her actions are also important and the effects she's done is so bad that if she weren't the Main character and we haven't spent the chunk of the majority in her pov alone she'd be disliked.

I feel like compared to other respective series Winx Club s1-3 Bloom, Danny Phantom, Ben 10, Totally Spies they have it much more harder and so many more all show the consequences of your actions and how you do them right and they're her age. I feel like whenever someone bring up consequences it's like people in this particular fandom think we do it to punish Marinette but no I just never ever saw it properly done in this show because she's very coddled in the narrative. I don't see other MC as coddled as her before in a show where when they MESS UP it's actually integral and important.

Rant over.

You encapsulated all my thoughts perfectly, anon. I've said so many times before that I loved Marinette from Season 1-3 and even during Season 4 as it aired. What made me fall out of love with her character post Season 4 was the utter lack of acknowledgement of her actions and the insistence in portraying her as in the right at all times. Like you said, it's not just your intentions that matter. Your actions and the effects that they have on the people around you also matter. The writers don't seem to understand this, and it hits Marinette's character worst of all. She had so much potential to be such a great character, which is why I feel so sad seeing just how badly the writing failed her. Marinette deserved better.

Thank you for your ask!

#MLB #ML Salt #ML Writing Salt #ML Writers Salt #Marinette Salt #Meta #Asks

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ca-suffit · 3 months

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I'm actually quite sad that we haven't found out ANYTHING about Armand in the epilogue. I mean, turning Daniel is such a huge point in his character, so we'll (hopefully) revisit that in future seasons, but other than that?? Did he take the magnolia tree with him? It's either that or Louis took it out and we know that tree has meaning for him (he has been growing a magnolia even back in Paris).

I know we're not meant to know where he fucked off, but I'd love to see just a tiny tiny glimpse with him alone. Is he with Marius?? DID HE PUNISH HIMSELF BY GOING TO MARIUS BECAUSE THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE???

Idk, the ending was too cartoonishly evil for him specifically, which is strange since this was the present time, so we assume that what we see is the truth. Liniar movie action style. Of course, it's evil via omission of his side of things, so it makes sense he seems evil. But I still think it would've been better if we had some extra 5 minutes in this episode and squished in there a small scene with, idk, Armand crying in an unrecognisable place (even just due to him transforming Daniel). It can simply be a dark room, so they don't have to build Marius' lair already, but ye know. It would be a glimpse that he's actually NOT okay, lol.

This is my only pet peeve, but trusting the writers to present the other side of the coin when we get back to his POV of things. Just hoping that won't simply be in season 5 of all things, lol. Even Lestat got a bit of POV (via the trial) during Louis' seasons, so they'll probs cram it in seasons 3-4 somehow (with Daniel povs).

Sorry for the rant, I hope this makes sense.

u can rant! it's ok. I know there's a lot going on here that ppl are rly disappointed in.

I am personally holding out that S3 will comment a lot on this. I feel like S2 ended similar to how S1 did with Lestat. Armand is a major character in the plot of TVL as well as QotD and a lot they're prbly going to be piecing together for S3. He's not just "gone" (not that u were saying this, I'm saying in general) and I trust that they'll be answering a lot about this and him in S3 or they will risk losing a lot of viewers tbh.

I know it looks cartoonishly villain like rn but I don't believe long term that is the vision for him. The point is that all of these vampires are deeply flawed and traumatized and hurt each other bcuz of it, bcuz they want to be luved so badly but also don't think they're worthy of it.

The fandom is definitely going to suffer thru this in ways tho. some of the lestans are already overly doing the victim bullshit of "now u know how we felt after S1." but they made a whole lot of racist choices to defend the white character so no it's not the same tbh, when ur trying to defend a brown character against a racist fandom.

#asks #interview with the vampire #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #amc iwtv #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #iwtv spoilers #iwtv s2 #armand #and that's the end of it. there's nothing else

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scrapyardboyfriends · 3 months

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After that ask yesterday I've been trying to think how I would even attempt to fix Emmerdale.

I really just want to lock all of the producers and storyliners and decision making creatives into one room and ask them a lot questions.

I'd want to go through each and every character and be like "tell me this character's job (cause some don't have any), tell me what this character's hopes and dreams are, career ambitions, tell me what their purpose is in the village, tell me about their family, their romantic relationships/prospects and why they actually like/love those people, tell me about their friendships and the last time they had any meaningful interaction with those friends (cause most don't have any or don't talk to them if they do)" and if they don't have answers to some of those questions, we'd sit there and figure some out. I want everyone to have a prospective friend or at least address why they don't have one and what that says about their character.

I'd want to go through all of the businesses in the village and figure out which ones are actually worthwhile and how many are just blatantly ignored. I'd want them to give me story ideas to incorporate all of those businesses. I'd want them to explain to me why the HOP exists and why the Woolpack no longer feels like the heart of the village.

I'd want to force them to go through every terrible story from the past 5-7 years and tell me what impact they had on the show so they can see how 90% of them were pretty pointless in the end.

I'd want to challenge them to find me one character introduced in the last 5-7 years that didn't have a convoluted backstory that connected them to a current character or two. And ask them why that's their only means of brining in a new character.

I'd want to ask them what they think the public perception of each character is and whether that matches up with what they've theoretically been trying to do with them.

The biggest problem with the show is that they don't care about the characters anymore, or the village as a character. They're just chasing big headlines and things that get people talking for a moment. And yes, part of what goes into that is the way the world has shifted and our attention spans are garbage and part of the reason people respond to the older episodes is due to nostalgia, but it's also because there was a level of care with the characters that's not present on the show now. The reason those big hyped up events of the past worked better than they do now is because there weren't as many, but also because we cared about the characters affected by them. And they had longer lasting impact on village life. Now everything feels meaningless because you don't care about the characters or whether they live or die and these events happen every other week and there's zero lasting impact moving forward.

So I'd want to lock them all in a room and make them care about and understand their characters again and if there's any that are falling by the wayside, maybe they're not needed anymore.

And then from that basic level of care and understanding, I'd want to challenge people to build stories out of that. Stories that matter to the characters and therefor to the viewers. Maybe if they cared about the characters they were writing for, they'd want them to succeed every now and then and they could find the occasional positive story to tell.

I don't know. It just feels like without that level of caring about the characters, there's no hope for the show and that's why it just makes me sad these days.

Sure maybe a lot of robron things I loved happened kind of on accident but they just had so much more depth than anything happening in the last five years and I miss that. I miss caring about it and if the creators don't care, I'm sure not going to.

(and...end rant)

(wow I haven't done one of these long winded rants in a while. you should be thankful I'm not actually watching anymore or they'd still be happening frequently I'm sure)

#emmerdale complaints corner

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fanstuffrantings · 4 months

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I was wondering what your thoughts were on the battle of fairy tail arc and what if anything you would change. Personally I would have liked it if they Laxus had a better relationship with the thunder legion - or there had been some stuff before that showed they were close so his spiral over the arc into being kinda a dick to them too was more shocking. On a side note, I'm kinda sad they didn't include in the anime the scene where he overhears people bashing fairy tail in a pub and beats them up because I feel it speaks to his character more!

Anyway I've been really enjoying your headcannons and they've made all the arcs you've discussed better in my head lol

Thank you! My goal when thinking up rewrite ideas/alterations is always to enhance the story presented more than fully, outright change it to something else entirely.

I didn't read the manga prior to Grand magic games since I was anime only, but I probably should at some point because scenes like that would be interesting to see!

I fully agree with you on the "Laxus should've cared point". One point I always think about every arc is just how much Mashima doesn't trust his audience to hate villains without making them horrible, sadistic people. Now I don't need villains to be written as redeemable, I myself thoroughly enjoy writing heinous individuals who are cruel to their core with no regard for life outside of their own (and even sometimes no regard for that). But if you want to make a villain that the audience can accept as redeemable you either need to make them complex and sympathetic, or show us their hard earned redemption.

Now, for Laxus, I personally would've made it clear that he cares about Fairy Tail members. Not just the reputation of the guild. Though his ego and insults towards others would often have people believing that. Makarov and Erza would both be capable of seeing through this and understanding that every criticism he has towards his guildmates comes from a place of trying to help them get better to keep them safe. I'd hint at him having a history of being close to guildmates who die or leave due to permanent damage sustained on missions.

This underlying care would be the reason Makarov would believe him to be the one right to take over as master. Because in spite of his inflated self worth, he still cared for his family.

Phantomlord arc would've been his breaking point, I would remove the scene of him saying he'd only help if Lucy dated him (that was only added to make him hate worthy) and have it simply be that he can't be reached due to a mission with the thunder legion. A rift forming between him and Makarov for Makarov letting Gajeel into the guild with no explanation after the dude hospitalized team shadowgear and tormented Lucy would cause him to believe Makarov incapable of putting the safety of the guild above the redemption of enemies.

The battle of fairy tail would be his way of proving to various members that they aren't cut out to be mages because if they can't even take care of themselves in a controlled environment, how can they hope to do so out in the field. He'd have a desperation as well to show that he is the strongest person in the guild thus the only one capable of stepping up to the role of guild master (Him having divine magic in the au would also explain this solid belief, god given magic and all that.) Rather than getting angry when Evergreen, Bixlow, or Freed loses, there would be a resignation that they aren't meant to stay. A sadness to it because he'd have known them all for almost a decade at this point.

"Why would people get frozen in stone" rather than it being all the girls who competed, it would be every member he deemed too weak to compete safely. People who use primarily support magic or haven't been with the guild long enough to make a mark in his memory of what they're capable of. Erza would be post tower of heaven nerf at this point so she'd be far below her normal strength level.

Makarov nearly dying this arc rather than being a moment of elation, would simply reinforce his need to get things done. To prove his own strength and take the position he was destined for.

When Makarov sends him off to self reflect he would note "You can't know what will come of people. Dangers exist in the world whether you're part of a guild or not. People will do as they please and all you can hope is to prepare them for what comes."

I would also throw in a few flashback scenes during the arc, scenes of guild members interacting with Laxus and Laxus meeting/grouping up with the thunder legion. I'm personally partial to Makarov raising Erza post tower of heaven so I'd have loved if prior to this arc we got some Erza/Laxus sibling scenes.

Again: I don't need villains to be tragic always, I think gajeel being a horrible person that has to earn his place is something I like (wish it was better handled) but for characters like Laxus I think them being complex and sympathetic is crucial. Especially when we don't see them until they've completely changed.

#fairy tail #laxus dreyar #moltenrambles #anon #ask #fairy tail redux

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k-rising · 1 year

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ENHYPEN's group dynamic (tarot reading)

DISCLAIMER: This tarot reading is for entertainment purposes only.

how's their overall dynamic?

king of pentacles (rx) + ace of cups + the world + 5 of cups + page of pentacles (rx) + 7 of wands + 2 of pentacles + 6 of wands (rx) + 3 of wands + knight of cups (rx)

the group could get along better, but there are still some issues to be resolved...

the members care more about money and greed than improving their group dynamic. I feel that they do not have enough creative freedom and when it's time to work, it's very likely that many discussions arise.

they are aware that if there's will there would be more harmony and they would work better, but it seems that there is no will for this to happen. I feel that there are many things that still couldn't be resolved; there's a lot of resentment in this reading.

the boys suffered a lot to be where they are now, especially in their trainee days and in i-land. I feel that most of them were affected so much by that time of their lives that it's difficult for them to forget everything they went through. I also feel that some of them wanted to debut with certain people, but they couldn't make it or there are also some of the members that were not happy with the group. some of them may have lost enthusiasm for working as a group. they do have big dreams, but they're not inspired or hopeful that the group will achieve all of the things that they hope to achieve.

although they're successful and will be even more successful in the future, I feel that the feeling of competition will continue to be present... I mean competition between groups, not between members.

it seems that it's very common for many changes to occur in the group, but it seems that one particular member does not like this at all. it seems that one of them is the one who is most affected by the constant imbalance of the group.

it's sad to say this, but I think most of the members doubt their own abilities. I also feel like there's a giant lack of recognition here that that's what affects them the most. I have the feeling that they lack a lot of support, I mean... nobody compliments them for their hard work and this causes them to have low self-esteem :( despite all this, they are optimistic and don't give up. they know that if they work hard they will get what they want.

in order for the group dynamic to improve, they have to stop being so cold and support each other. they have to stop being impulsive and they have to learn to control their emotions. complimenting others for the progress they make is highly valued. they have to let go of their ego and their competitive side and become more empathetic; they have to learn to care about each other.

how does each of the boys feel about the group?

the empress + 4 of pentacles (rx) + the moon

heeseung ⇢ this guy tends to idealize and imagine a group dynamic that doesn't exist, simply because he's afraid things will get worse.

although I feel that heeseung really cares for the members, I also think that he's clinging to them because he's afraid that the group will disband and he will have to work alone... that terrifies him.

we all know this man is very talented, but heeseung himself doesn't think the same way :(

4 of cups + 10 of wands + king of cups (rx)

jay ⇢ jay isn't happy with the group dynamic, but knows how to separate work from his relationships.

this guy doesn't feel comfortable with the group, not because he doesn't feel included, but simply because their personalities are different. however, it should be said that this man tends to ignore the nice things they achieve as a group out of mere stubbornness 💀. sometimes he thinks that the only one who takes work seriously is him and sometimes he takes charge of things that later end up stressing him out.

jay finds that sometimes the work environment can be very bad and there's often a lot of manipulation involved.

to sum up, he thinks that the group dynamic is toxic af lmao

the tower + 9 of pentacles + 6 of wands (rx)

jake ⇢ at first jake thought the group dynamic was good, but suddenly one day he didn't think that anymore. something happened that made him change his mind.

regarding work, while he is proud of how he has progressed over the years, he would also like to receive compliments from his members. jake's needing that approval from his teammates, but he wouldn't be getting it, which sometimes causes him to question his abilities.

10 of wands (rx) + 5 of swords (rx) + temperance

sunghoon ⇢ this dude doesn't trust the other members very much and considers it very difficult to delegate, because of their egos.

however, sunghoon wants this to stop and is trying to find meaning in his work, trying to be patient and balance things out. sunghoon is tired of arguing and wants to improve the relationship he has with certain members.

the lovers + page of swords + 2 of swords

sunoo ⇢ well, he's the only one who is satisfied with the group cksngkd

sunoo thinks that even though they have different personalities, they complement each other well. he feels comfortable with his members and he considers that he formed a deep emotional bond with them.

sunoo loves to talk and share his opinions with his members. he also finds interesting the way some of them think. there's a lot of mental stimulation here! this also applies to work. however, many times this ends in arguments... but sunoo likes this to happen, because he considers communication important, even when he disagrees with some opinions.

ace of pentacles + 10 of swords (rx) + the tower

jungwon ⇢ at first, jungwon was very excited about the group. he was relieved that he was finally going to debut and was optimistic about enhypen's future. being chosen to be part of the group made him recover his self-confidence and, little by little, he began to heal from everything he could have experienced in the past.

however, not everything was rosy. it seems that jungwon has drastically changed his mind about the group. something in particular happened here… I feel it's because of the way each of them work.

justice + 4 of cups + 5 of cups

niki ⇢ niki is going through more or less the same thing as jay: even though enhypen is doing well and its opening a lot of paths for him, niki ignores all of that and only sees the negative side of things. maybe this is because he isn't getting the things he wants or he doesn't like the way he gets those things.

regarding the relationship he has with his members, there's a lot of resentment here. niki doesn't feel comfortable with some of his teemmates and he treats them with apathy and, what's more, I feel that he has something personal with one of them.

this reading makes a lot of emphasis on karma and pain. I've just heard "be responsible of your actions." like I said before, there's a lot of resentment in this reading.

regarding the last card, I have 2 theories about it: 1) niki feels sad because he misses his family or 2) he may be very affected by the type of relationship he has with that specific member. however, the card indicates that there's still a chance to solve that situation.

‧͙⁺˚･༓☾　𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔! 　☽༓･˚⁺‧͙

#enhypen #enhypen tarot #enhypen astrology #nishimura riki #park sunghoon #yang jungwon #lee heeseung #jay park #jay jongsung park #sim jaeyoon #kim sunoo

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chirpsythismorning · 1 year

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With Birthdaygate pretty much confirmed, here are two moments from 4x02 Vecna's Curse that hit different...

(1) First we have Jonathan stopping Will as he goes into Rink-O-Mania to tell him something. Will turns around quickly and almost looks, dare I say, hopeful?

But why would that be the case? Unless of course there's something Will's waiting for Jonathan to say, that he hasn't said yet? Happy Birthday perhaps? Surprise Will! We didn't forget your birthday! We're coming in! We have a party planned and everything! Meet you inside! (interesting that there were birthday decorations in there as well...)

Unfortunately, all Jonathan does is tell Will that they'll be back to pick them up at 6:00. And so Will goes from sad, to hopeful, only to go back to looking sad again...

I think a lot of fans attributed Jonathan's concerned looks in this moment as him knowing about Will's feelings for Mike. And I do still think that's present, especially as he's telling Will they'll be there to pick them up later. In that specific moment he sounds sympathetic like Sorry buddy, that sucks.

However, the look Jonathan makes after Will turns away, as Argyle starts driving off, doesn't look like sympathy or pity from someone witnessing unrequited love. It looks like confusion and almost deja vu being experienced by Jonathan himself. As if he's forgetting something, but doesn't know what it is...

(2) Next is at the very end of Will and Mike's fight. Mike sort of echoes the same level of frustration he had during their rain fight, when he said It's not my fault you don't like girls. We know the scenes parallel each other, and how after both of those things are said, there's this silence that takes over, making clear that this is as far as they can go, otherwise they might risk hurting each other beyond fixing. We see both of them make faces of deep emotion here, because they probably are also being reminded of their fight last summer.

And so Will's options here were to, either (A) take it even further and risk hurting Mike more than he's hurting him, or (B) just don't say anything and let the argument end there before it gets beyond repair.

But the thing is, it almost looked like Will was going to say something. He quite literally mouths the word But-- only to cut himself off all together, looking defeated.

Here's what I think. THIS would have been the perfect moment for Will to say, But, you forgot my birthday, Mike. If it was genuinely something as simple as Mike and everyone simply forgetting and needing a reminder, without any supernatural implications involved, I think this would have been the moment to do it.

It would have also mirrored their rain fight even better because it would have been Will saying something and likely walking away, leading to Mike being like OH SHIT I have to fix this! I messed up.

But we all know it's not that simple.

As far as Will knowns, EVERYONE forgot his birthday, not just Mike. And so him calling out Mike here, might have felt slightly unjustified in that it wasn't just him who forgot.

It's almost like they're not the problem here, he is. (WILL POV ANGST)

That's what truly makes the scenes at Rink-O-Mania so heartbreaking. Because it wasn't just about Mike and El ignoring him, it was the fact that it was his literal birthday. All the most important people in his life, who used the literal memory of his birthday to bring him back bc they cared about him so much in the past, have now apparently forgot about him in the present.

Not to mention, the story not blatantly acknowledging his birthday being forgotten in the narrative of s4, means that it was framed this way bc the whole point was they only wanted it to be hinted at in s4, saving it as a surprise revelation in s5.

And so, if Will did say here, but Mike, you forgot my birthday, how would that have impacted the conflict in s4 and Vecna's plan as a whole, specifically for Will? All it would have taken was them connecting the dots after that, figuring out Vecna's plan before he could even reach Will, rendering s5 plotless?...

S5 is likely going to jump right into this, there's too much incriminating evidence about unused footage at the Rink-O-Mania location. It also fits with them not mentioning it in s4 if it's intended to be an early s5 revelation.

TBH with all the storylines going on in s4, them exploring the depths of Will's connection to Vecna just wasn't an option, bc they wouldn't have been able to do it justice. He needs to be front and center for that.

They're clearly saving the best for last...

#byler #<- target audience #stranger things #will byers #birthdaygate #stranger things 5 #st5 predictions #rink o mania #unused footage gate #vecna vision #will getting vecna'd #this also explains them just focusing on byler buildup in s4 #if a lot of s5 going to be filled with angst and revelations behind all these hidden truths going way back to the beginning #it's really good we got these moments in s3-4 that sort of show they are struggling but always come back to each other #and how that is always a constant for them no matter what #it's going to make them defying all the odds against them in s5 that much more epic #also vecna knows will pretty well...#he probably knows will is the kind of kid that if everyone in his life he forgot his birthday #he wouldn't say anything bc clearly that's a sign he is a burden (mistake)#like... that's the whole point #he is too humble to make ppl feel bad in this scenario #when he's taking it as a sign he's unloveable #like it hurts a lot but #that's will byers for you

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whumps-and-bumps · 7 months

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I know Valentines Day was last week but I was thinking about a sad little Whumpee feeling invisible anyway :)

(Emotional whump, mention of potential SA, platonic-OR-romantic Caretaker (take your pick), depression/self-hate vibes)

A Whumpee who dreads Valentines Day every year not because it's the anniversary of specific trauma, but because nothing ever happened to them.

They've spent their entire life watching their friends and family all get cards and presents, go on cute dates, have fun - even all their other friends seem to do something with each other, like a galentines day party or gifting each other joke cards, but year after year they themselves are totally forgotten. They try to get involved and give silly cards of their own; they give and give and give but nobody ever thinks to give them anything in return. It feels silly on the surface, but it still strikes a chord. There's nothing wrong with them, right? It's just bad luck? Maybe they just need better friends.

Then the main whump happens, they get held captive and are abused and beaten and broken and defiled, whatever the story is - and then finally they're rescued, or maybe they escape all on their own, and eventually life goes back to 'normal' again. Or as normal as it ever will be.

They wish they could say they didn't notice Valentines coming up the first year after they're free of Whumper, but it stays in the back of their mind, lingering. There's zero chance of anyone caring about them now. They have their new Caretaker, of course, but that's different - they're a burden to them. Caretaker is too kind to not look after them after everything they went through, and at the end of the day they deserve better than Whumpee. Caretaker deserves someone still whole.

Whumpee prepares silently for the day, they brace themselves for the depression and self-hatred they know will consume them, but for the sake of Caretaker they bottle it all up. It's just a normal day. It's stupid and silly. A commercial holiday that means nothing. Everything is fine. It's fucking Tuesday, nothing special.

Hope is so fucking hard to destroy, though, and they wake up still hoping there will be a card in the post. From anyone, their mum, an old friend - even spam would make them feel like they existed still - but there's nothing. Not even a pamphlet.

They spend the whole day shut away in their room, trying to distract themselves, and at least that's not unusual after what Whumper did to them so Caretaker won't notice. They tell themselves they shouldn't need outside validation to know they're worthy of love and affection. It's just so hard to believe, though. The first and only person that has ever loved them was Whumper, and look how that turned out. Clearly there is something wrong and unlovable about Whumpee. If only someone could have told them what was is so they could fix before they were taken and broken irrepairably.

That evening, Caretaker calls them downstairs for dinner as normal. Whumpee makes the effort because if they don't, Caretaker will definitely know something is wrong, and they really don't want to talk about it. The kitchen is well-lit, the food in the oven is nothing special, this isn't romantic - but then they see a little red envelope resting on their empty placemat, and a silly fake rose sat beside it.

Caretaker is nervous, almost afraid of Whumpee's reaction - they just wanted to do something nice for their friend, especially after what Whumper did to them. It's a silly little thing meant to make them smile on a day they know can be hard.

But Whumpee is just standing and staring at the envelope, terrified of it. Caretaker goes to say something but before they can, Whumpee starts to cry. They completely break down, months and months and years of bottled up feelings bubbling up and spilling over in an ugly mess.

Their legs give out and they kneel on the floor as they sob, trying to catch their breath. Caretaker thought of them. They remembered them. They're Whumpee's best friend, their greatest, closest, most wonderful friend they could ever have dreamed of and they love them so much it hurts to breathe.

How dare they, though? How dare they come into their life now, when they're all broken and used and ruined? Where were they before everything went wrong? Why couldn't they be loved like this when they still felt like they were allowed to be?

#whump #ideas #insp #my prompt #soft #whumblr #whump writing #valentines #valentines whump #i have a lot of very normal feelings

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bau-drabbles · 1 year

Text

whispered promises

change is never easy, especially saying goodbye

walking into the main office, your breath was held as you watched your boyfriend hold the books in his hands. his back is turned to you but you know he's not reading anything, the way his shoulders are tense and the way his hair is unruly you figured he's been in here for a while. trying but failing to find a solution to this heartbreaking problem

"spence..." your voice is so soft, so quiet it's already beginning to break his resolve down. against his better judgement, he puts down the files and just simply stares into the window. the sun was setting, casting its rays all around the room. it was beautiful but the sadness creeps in through the cracks, knowing he could never have this moment with you again. he feels his hands shaking and he clenches them into fists to stop the oncoming slaught of tears but they're inevitable.

you're going and taking his heart with you.

"i don't want to say goodbye. maybe if i delay it then this won't happen" he sniffles, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand but the barricade has broken, the tears are endless

"i'm still here baby, i'll always be with you" you gentle place your hand on top of his heart, your own tears tracking down his seeing the amount of pain you're putting this man through unintentionally.

"can't you stay?" he pleads, lacing his fingers with your hands and it breaks you further when you see the glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"i can't, it's not for me to decide baby" you murmured, wiping away his tears with your fingers. and he looks away, hopelessly. the light draining out from him, it was as if the world was laughing in his face. for giving him the sweetest present he could've ever recieved and snatching it away before he had the chance to explore it.

all he could do was to cling on to you, already missing you even though your body was in his arms. your hands stroking his hair, your lips trailing feather light kisses on his head. all he could do was sit and miss you, counting down he seconds where you'd no longer be able to hug nor hold him.

"i... don't forget me, promise me you won't" he whispers into your neck, his hands holding you so close as if he feared you'd simply vanish in his arms like sand. the sun dances across your body, illuminating your skin making it sparkle like a diamond. a tinge of envy for the way it wrapped itself around you and a flood of despair because he would never get to experience how the sun kisses your cheeks and how beautiful you looked in it.

"i won't" you confirm, holding his stubbled face in between your hands. your trace the outline of his beard, his jaw with a finger while you brush away the stray curls from his forehead. his cheeks were tinged pink, his breathing ragged as if it was hard to contain any more emotion. your fingers and eyes memorised every single little detail, burned into your heart so that you would never forget how he looks like.

"i could never forget you spence. you have my heart, you always will" sealing your words with a gentle kiss, you lean on to his chest where he takes you in eagerly. his eyes watered with your true confession and he brings you in his arms, holding your body close as possible to his.

"i love you y/n, i love you so much. i can't even describe it. you're everything i ever could've imagined and more. i don't know how to go back to these cases without you by my side" he whispers against your forehead as he holds you in his arms, tenderly. you grip onto him as though your life source depends on it and it does in a twisted way, because 24 hours from now when you'd be alone in a different country, all you could remember is your lover and how you could never live out your dreams with him.

you could never see him grow old, you both would never share funny and happy memories that would hold a dear place in your heart. you would never wake and sleep every day with him next to you, holding you close whenever you had a bad day. he was your anchor in this brutal sea and now he was snatched away, you were left fending for yourself. alone and vulnerable until he came once more. but he never would.

time was ticking, you should've ideally been in the taxi on the way to the airport departing with all your loved ones. the flight was important, you couldn't afford to miss it nor delay it. yet despite it all, you stay a moment longer, not yet ready to leave the safe haven in his arms. not yet ready to face the unknown alone, not yet ready to leave your heart in the arms of the man whose soul is so deeply intertwined with yours.

how beautifully painful it was to have something that made saying goodbye that much more difficult.

#criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fanfiction #spencer reid x reader angst

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pluckyredhead · 4 months

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I am still reading my way through the Fourth World! Last time I talked about all the stuff published in the 70s; now let's talk about the 80s.

Kirby:

New Gods #12: In 1984, DC reprinted Kirby's original New Gods run and threw in an extra issue (not to be confused with Gerry Conway's New Gods #12) so that Kirby could finish the story. This was partially DC being nice and trying to give an aging Kirby money, and partially not because they refused to let him produce the ending he wanted, which was Orion and Darkseid both dying. After a couple scrapped versions, we got this, in which Orion goes down in a hail of laser fire. It's a real bummer, but at least he's extremely homoerotic with his best buddy Lightray first? (Oh, they're getting a whole separate post, just you wait.)

The Hunger Dogs: This "graphic novel" (it's only 64 pages but back then that counted) came out a year later and was the "conclusion" to the Fourth World saga. Once again DC and Kirby butted heads because Kirby really wanted to kill everyone and DC was like "But our IP!!!" In the final version, only supporting characters Himon and Esak die, which is sad but not going to do any damage to DC's bottom line.

It turns out Orion is not dead despite being riddled with holes (there's an intriguing suggestion that he has some kind of healing ability because he possesses the Life Equation, which like everything else in this book is presented with zero context or explanation), which is great because it gives him an opportunity to be homoerotic with Lightray again, although he has also been given an Obligatory Heterosexual Love Interest, Himon's daughter Bekka.

Anyway this book is baffling. Highfather blows up New Genesis (everyone survives) to taunt Darkseid, who is overthrown by the downtrodden masses of Apokalips. There's some shouting about the dangers of technology and maybe some anti-Cold War rhetoric about stockpiling weapons, but it's all so hysterically overblown - Kirby at his most grandiose - that it's nearly impossible to parse beyond "war bad." I do appreciate that Orion is able to break free of his rage and death wish and just...leave Darkseid behind, but the fact that he's emotionally mature enough to do that now comes pretty much out of nowhere. The art is extremely powerful, at least.

My final thought is that Kirby clearly gleefully ignored everything Englehart, Conway, et al. did and I love that for him.

Super Powers: Darkseid fights the Justice League. This was a comic created to sell a toy line and you can really, really tell.

Post-Kirby:

Legends: I've read this before, but it's great. If you like pre-Flashpoint DC, you should definitely read this, which introduces Amanda Waller and the Suicide Squad, sets up the JLI, and brings Wonder Woman into the post-Crisis DCU. Neither Orion nor Scott are present but this (along with the Happyland issue of the original Forever People) really makes the case for why Glorious Godfrey is one of Kirby's best and scariest Fourth World creations. And I will never complain about John Byrne art.

Forever People (1988): Blecch. It's definitely arrogant to read something and think "I know for certain that Jack Kirby, a man I never met who died when I was a child, would have hated this" but like. I'm right. And it's obvious from the very first page.

Basically, at the end of Kirby's series, the FP were marooned on a random, idyllic planet somewhere with no hope of getting home, so they embraced it as their new, hopeful future. This catches up with them years later, with Serifan (the sweet young kid) drooling and raving alone in the woods, Vykin (the only Black character) dead (he gets better), and the rest of them...living in yuppie paradise? Apparently the planet they ended up on was populated (missing the point) with "primitive" people (racist) so they decided to use Mother Box to forcibly "evolve" the people (SO RACIST) and were able to create...modern-day America? Literally why would they even do that, they're from New Genesis. Mark is mayor and married with kids, and Big Bear and Beautiful Dreamer are married to each other with a baby on the way.

Anyway a nebulous villain/evil force called "the Dark" undoes everything which brings Vykin back to life but takes away Mark's wife and kids (she's alive but still "primitive" and the kids were never born) and Bear and Dreamer's unborn child, which means the only female protagonist spends the whole rest of the miniseries clutching her stomach and going "my baby!" I absolutely don't mean to make light of pregnancy loss but this doesn't feel like a story about a three-dimensional woman experiencing pregnancy loss. It feels like a story that reduces a woman to a) whether or not she's having a baby, which is the only thing she cares about and b) the central point on a vague love triangle with Mark and Bear. SIGH.

Meanwhile they all go to Earth for...some reason...and then Mark gets possessed by the Dark and is evil for a while but then they manage to summon Infinity Man and Mark isn't evil anymore. And it's bafflingly revealed that they're all from Earth in the first place from random different historical time periods and Highfather kidnapped them as babies. Okay???

The Forever People are perhaps Kirby's purest and most optimistic characters, and this cynical take on them actively angered me even though I don't actually care about them at all. I've also basically never cared for J. M. DeMatteis's writing outside of JLI, and I don't like Paris Cullins's art, so this book just had absolutely nothing going for it for me.

Cosmic Odyssey: I do not trust Jim Starlin with the New Gods since I know he's going to kill them all off in 2007. This is...fine, I guess? Starlin really does not like Orion, who he has slaughter a bunch of innocent, brainwashed Thanagarians, and also be deeply bigoted against Forager. Everything else is...fine? It's basically all action. The only character who has an emotional arc is John Stewart because this is the story where he fails to save Xanshi because he's being an overconfident moron, but the moral at the end of the comic is like "Get over it already" so...that happens. It's fine.

But man, that Mike Mignola artwork is worth the price of admission alone. That guy's great at drawing.

Mister Miracle Special: The plot of this is that Barda doesn't want Scott to be an escape artist anymore because it's too dangerous, even though a) she's a warrior of Apokalips and b) he's an active Justice League member and she seems fine with that. So okay.

Mister Miracle (1989): Okay, so the basic premise here - Scott and Barda try to adjust to normal life in the suburbs - is good. And it's a spiritual spinoff of JLI, which is of course one of my favorite books of all time. But this book is like...imagine someone screaming "Iiiiiiit's WACKY!" over your shoulder constantly while you're reading. That's what reading Mister Miracle (1989) is like. Highfather wears a tuxedo! Funky Flashman shows up a lot! Scott fights a giant alien noodle! Some of it is actually funny, but most of it is trying so hard to be funny that it's just exhausting.

There are some interesting character moments in there. Scott, Barda, and Orion all get to call Highfather out. Orion mentions wishing he was closer to Scott. There are hints at Scott's depression and suicidal tendencies, which I find really fascinating. But all of it is always immediately overshadowed by ZANINESS.

Anyway, I think we as DC fans deserve a do-over with a new Scott and Barda book about their lovingly domestic (kinky) life together on Earth that is funny but not desperately mugging for laughs in every panel. And I think it should be set in Vegas where Scott has a residency. Call me, DC!

New Gods (1989): This book was mostly written by Mark Evanier (a couple issues were by Starlin), who was one of Kirby's assistants back when he was originally creating the Fourth World, so you might think it would feel the closest to a continuation of Kirby's vision. Instead, I am making it Exhibit A in my argument for why a character should never be assigned to a writer who obviously fucking hates their guts.

I mean, I don't know that Evanier hates Orion. But boy does he write him like he does. Starlin's Orion (who again, we get a couple issues of here) is a monster, but Evanier's Orion is just an incompetent idiot, forever slamming himself against the brick wall of his inevitably becoming his father. Almost every single issue has at least one character, often multiple characters, bemoaning Orion's absolutely unproductive violence and inability to learn or comprehend basic concepts that should not be at all new to him after living most of his life on New Genesis (i.e. justice, mercy, compassion). Even fucking Kalibak is like "Wow, you're a useless idiot." Kalibak! The king of useless idiots!

The comic is so into hating on Orion that it hates on him when he's not actually doing anything bad; at one point he walks into a nuclear reaction that's melting down in a desperate attempt to stop it before it kills everyone, and Big Bear is like "Wow, he's just like his father." REALLY, BIG BEAR? Show me the comic where Darkseid risks his life to save thousands of strangers. I'll wait.

This series also features:

a hawkish, bloodthirsty New Genesis military leader who keeps trying to overthrow Highfather, which both seems to undercut the whole point of New Genesis as well as Orion's uniqueness as The Angry Guy;

an Earth woman with the worst gaydar in the universe repeatedly failing to fuck an increasingly uncomfortable Lightray;

but then Lightray falls in love with a dead woman he never met?;

also Orion gets a crush on a bug lady and learns to stop being racist against bugs (she's not impressed and good for her)

and Lightray and Orion parade around Earth in the WORST fashions of the late 80s/early 90s, which is about all this book has going for it.

Anyway it was bad and I'm glad I'm done with it. Next up: the 90s!

#fourth world #orion #lightray #mister miracle #scott free #barda free #meta

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