#and i hope that changes once the episodes go back to being less connected

[cowboyinternist]

more serious plot lines are cool but i’m really excited for this podcast to be fun to listen to again.

[the-badger-mole]

A Kya lived (but with some serious burns) AU.

Katara's relationship with the other characters?

In what way would this also affect Sokka?

Aang accidentally burning Katara?

Yon-Rha being alive or not,and Zuko and Katara hunting him down.

Depending on what ripple effect Kya being alive has on the series, what other changes do you think would impact things going forward?

Do you think kat*anng would still happen or zutara?

To answer your last question first, Kataang shouldn't have happened in general, so, no they absolutely don't happen here.

This would've been an extremely traumatic event for Kya, and I think she would become very protective of Katara. Sokka would have a complicated relationship with it because on the one hand, he'd get it, and he'd be very protective of Katara too (even more than he was in the show). On the other hand, I think it would very much read as favoritism to him, and he'd probably pull some very dangerous and stupid stunts in order to get his mother to fear for his life like she does for Katara's. I think instead of being sent off with well wishes, Katara would have to sneak away, and Sokka would come with her to protect her.

I think Zuko seeing the burns that Kya suffered would give him pause. He would still try to go in with all his bluster and bravado, but it would be a sight that would startle him. I think it would change the dynamic when he confronted Katara (does Katara get Kya's necklace here? I don't know. I could see it go either way). He might appeal to her desire to end the war instead, promising that once he got home and took back his rightful place, he'd make ending the war his priority so no one would have to suffer like Kya. His arc would then be centered on trying to reconcile what he knows of his father with his own hopes for how the war would end. I don't know if they still go after Yon Rah. I don't think it would have the same impact, to be honest. I think Katara's mother would be what bridges the gap between them still, but I think instead of focusing on their mutual loss, Katara would find out explicitly how Zuko got his scar and why. They would still connect over maternal sacrifices, but also the scars.

Katara, I think, would be the biggest change. I think she'd be a less maternal figure and less inclined to play caregiver to the people around her (which is part of the reason I don't think Kataang would happen). Her anger would be a lot more apparent because not only did her mother sacrifice herself for Katara, she treated her like she was too vulnerable to be let out into the world on her own (this version of Katara would probably have an easier time connecting with Toph, tbh). I think any attempts of people trying to protect her or tell her she can't do something would be met with much more force. Her fight with Pakku would've been much more feral and unhinged because I think she'd actually be out for blood. Like for real, for real. And her stint as the Painted Lady would probably end with a few dead soldiers. I see Zutara not only happening in this version of the story, but happening way sooner because Katara's anger would be easier for Zuko to see and understand, and then connect with. I think her pain and anger would hurt him for her sake, too. Getting to know her would make him finally understand everything Iroh was trying to do for him, and he would in turn try to be that for Katara. In the end, they'd both wind up helping each other find peace.

Also, as for what happened when Aang burned Katara? He'd have gotten a double barrel of anger from the siblings. Sokka would possibly lay hands on him, and Katara would resent him for not taking any of his learning opportunities seriously. I think Katara in this version would be much more militant (a reason why I don't think Aang would have a crush on her in this scenario to begin with). This episode would see him getting thee crap scared out of him, and possibly set him down the path of understanding just how badly the war needs to be ended.

[webanglikethat]

things ram and devi have done and said without even saying they’re in love / being in a relationship because they drive me insane:

Ram defied orders from the LITERAL goddess because he didn’t want Devi to die, thus ignoring his duties

-> like …. he willingly let another woman DIE in Devi’s place and !!!! this act had been committed five years ago, when the affection between the two had BARELY begun blossoming

-> “Why bother when the goddess herself allows you to decide people’s fate?” had been Devi’s question to him, but little did she know, he already defied every rule for her, going against literal fate

he saved Devi during the arson, putting her before his own BROTHER

he went after Devi when she took off on an horse during the attack, and carried her in his arms back to safety (which he realllyy didn’t have to do 🤭)

it’s revealed he would purposefully change his route to catch a glimpse of Devi

-> Ram’s wishful desire was to see her at every service; just hoping to catch her smile along the hallowed halls where once they met

he “noticed an unfamiliar feeling rising inside him” when he met her again

Ram always found an excuse to touch Deviya — holding her hand to lead her somewhere, brushing his fingers over her cheek to calm her, cupping her face, putting a hand on her waist, trapping her against the wall, his finger on her lips, holding her hands tighter as if it could heal her holding her waist as she straddled him

he said he “missed her smiling at him”

he kissed her neck (quite literally marking her) while thinking of how De Clare would react, not realizing the jealousy that was growing in his heart at the thought of losing her to him

-> which he then said (in season 2) he’d do it on her wedding day too !!

-> in the same episode he tried to pretend he doesn’t care about their engagement 💀, mission failed my dude 🤭

“That. The way he felt when she was near him. The reason he always looked for her in the crowd and couldn’t stop teasing her”

ram always thought of marriage as a transaction, a duty to be fulfilled, something he simply had to do. and love? love wasn’t a necessary equation. that’s what his family line looked like — alliances, partnership, all devoid of tenderness. but Deviya awakened something in Ram — and for the first time, he was confused and lost

“It’s ironic that even with all the knowledge and wisdom of the world at my disposal, I still can’t figure this out on my own. I’m almost thirty, and for all of my life I have denied myself what I wanted because the greater good was more important. And in all this time… no one has ever been able to enchant me as much as…”

Ram talked Devi through her anger at the reception so she wouldn’t make a mistake in front of her guests and lose the position she had so long worked for (he helps her see the bigger picture)

Ram told her their connection wasn’t for nothing. they were fated for a reason

the less often he saw her, the more he wanted to see her

-> and if she didn’t came, he would wait for her

he noticed everything she did — be it the way she shifted from foot to foot when she was nervous or how she looked at him in fear (from the subtlest of things to the most obvious, he noticed it always)

he teased her about how much she liked him but then said:

“such a rakhasi cannot possibly die. I need her”

admitting, even if it was meant as a tease, that he could no longer exist in a world in which her presence didn’t fill his heart’s pages

he comforted her on the day of her death, quickly realizing that:

“/ wish this had happened to me instead... hasn't she been dealt enough pain already, in her life?”

“when Ram realized how sincere his desire to take all Deviya's troubles for himself was, it quickly became clear that their secret relationship had taken on a new meaning … growing into something profound”.

what started as a perhaps meaningless, fleeting, teasing affair quickly turned into something more — something he couldn’t put a name to, but he could feel encompassing his body every single second

he could no longer pretend it was just for fun or a distraction

so he finally mustered up the courage to ask Devi to be with him (but not officially 😔) even if it was in secret — for he would rather have her in secret, than lose her be it to death or another man. 

noticing how distressed she was, he closed his eyes and then slowly began kissing her fingers. Devi noticed that his eyelashes were trembling. “he’s nervous as well, but once again he tries to reassure me first, even though he could use some support himself."

he always put her before himself, over and over again. this isn’t something he was taught, like I mentioned before. for him, marriage or love was based on children, mutual respect and the husband’s views. yet he interminably put himself in the background, just to help Devi shine

“they kissed each other gently and yet desperately at the same time, as only doomed lovers can kiss.”

“he was with her right at that moment. sharing her pain and fear... would that have been possible if what they had was fleeting? he always chose her, no matter what.”

Ram: “I'll be with you. no matter what.” Devi: “I know”

he fought for her, allowing her to escape

and her thoughts led to him, even as she bled out

“the very thought of losing him was unbearable. and just as things were beginning to blossom between them.” “dying would be a little easier if you were holding my hand right now”

"I'm with him in my thoughts, heart, and soul." // "even if it doesn't make any real sense, it does for me. l feel calmer this way."

being away from her, when she was in a coma, made Ram feel like he was dying too // the thought of losing him (as she actively died) felt even worse than death

-> his biggest dream was being able to touch her again, to gaze into her eyes, to see his affection being mirrored in hers. to hear her laughter again was all he could hope for

they risked MULTIPLE times to be caught just to bask in each other’s presence — even if it was only for a few moments because the risk was worth it — they are worth it to each other

his face “instantly lost colour” when she mentioned her wedding

he tried pretending it didn’t hurt him — that he could accept it, that he could have a part of her and let it be enough, but they both knew the truth

so she laid out her future: her married to De Clare, visiting India from time to time, meeting Ram’s wife — but not him because he would still remain a coward who couldn’t voice what he wanted

so he finally let his feelings free and kissed her, marking her neck (in the middle of the hall where everyone could’ve caught them)

he touched her under the table — at dinner, where again, anyone could’ve seen them !!!

the moment Devi’s smile faded, Ram noticed immediately and shifted his tone, asking softly, “is something wrong?” -> he is SO attuned to her emotions, so skilled at noticing even the slightest change — which is especially important since Ram isn’t portrayed as someone who does this for just anyone

they know each other well enough to play off each other’s words without malice — their banter is so much fun (especially on passion route)

he fingers her in the library 🤭 he’s SO careful with her even though it’s obvious they’re both overwhelmed by the connection — he’s letting her set the pace and the fact that Ram doesn't push, but instead allows her to slowly move at her own pace, amplifies her vulnerability and makes her every move feel more significant. she’s still confused on what she wants and he lets her explore it on her own, and she knows he will wait for her

he wanted to dance with her despite not knowing how to — and in front of everyone too !! he was ready to embarrass himself for her

-> he is so caught up in her that he’s willing to push past his own comfort zone, even if it means embarrassing himself a little; as long as he can witness her smile

now she is the one who takes the power and kisses him, marking HIS neck — and so they imagine each other naked, finally taking the next step and ….

he finally admits it to himself.

He wanted to finally understand what it meant to connect with the woman he loved with all his heart.

Ram Doobay is in love with Deviya Sharma.

[bengiyo]

Last Twilight Ep 1 Stray Thoughts

Starting this one skeptical. It's an original story from Aof about a topic he could absolutely fumble. With GMMTV's shows being such a disappointment for me lately, I hope he doesn't also take a hit.

I'm excited to see Baby Ohm again.

I'm glad Sea is actually a good badminton player so they could get good footage.

At the point that we're breaking bottles to stab people things have really escalated too far.

I'm not sure how to read intercutting the fight with Day's vision loss. Perhaps they're connecting the two experiencing a major loss around the same time.

I like the scene where Mok fixes the manager's chair even as he's making his displeasure at being overlooked very apparent. Clearly things have changed for him in the last year, and he's trying to hold on to his temper.

Oh, I was wondering how the sister died. This is tragic.

Mark!!

I like that Day was immediately interested in someone who seemed less formal.

Okay, I could read Jimmy's face there in that confrontation with Day. He's gotten better. I could feel his injured pride and disappointment coming through at once.

I'm fascinated by Porjai having a new boyfriend and yet maintaining this friendship with Mhok. They don't feel like exes still yearning for each other.

Aof and friends are still really good at contextualizing love and loss. This scene about the car shows how much people cared about Rung and how much Rung and Mhok cared about each other. They had already lost their parents, and now Mhok is alone.

An eye donation? Hold on let me look up something.

Curious what happened between Day and his brother. Was the brother involved in the car crash? What's this thing about being the hero of the family?

I'm just gonna assume they hadn't driven very far for Mhok to be able to help here.

Le Petit Prince!!

Jimmy's mustache continuity is driving me insane.

Okay, I like the decision and job acceptance scene.

Well, I am going to come back for the next episode! With all of the disappointment I've taken lately from BL, I'm only giving shows an hour to assess them and then setting them aside until convinced to come back if they don't do anything for me in the first hour. I'm intrigued by the potential dynamics here.

[utilitycaster]

Unpopular opinion: the tower conversation between Caleb and Essek was a define-the-relationship conversation on a 20+ intelligence level and with the context that defining a relationship does not inherently mean "we have decided whether or not we are dating from this point onward with the only options being a static yes or no," and if more of the fandom read it that way, there would be significantly less equivocating over their relationship and how often Essek is mentioned in regards to existing and potential post-canon content

This is very funny to me bc if you were not off anon I'd be like "man what does Megs say about it, she'd know more!" Anyway, after this one I'll be taking a break bc I do need to do a bit of D&D prep and this is going to be a slightly long one. To that point, it's below the cut.

Anyway, thank you, because I very much enjoy Shadowgast but I don't know if I've made as much of a study of it as others have, or as I have for other ships, but this led me to rewatch/reread the transcript for this speech (2x133, btw, starting around 3:26:00 for those wondering) and: yes.

I think this is definitely the 20+ INT level version; it is entirely about theory, and the arcane, and everything is subtext. But it's not unprecedented. If I were to do the mathematical thing, and I will, and reduce it to a problem I already know, this is akin to Fjord and Jester's conversation in episode 2x72. Compare:

LAURA: Would you do anything to get them back?

TRAVIS: No. No, but, I feel like I knew what I was doing, and I realized I have no idea.

to

MATT: "You spoke once of intent, lot of fortunes have changed since. What is your goal? Ultimately?"

LIAM: I think my priorities have mostly shifted since we last spoke about things like this. I think what's going on right now is more important than my petty, earthly grievances. Still very much fascinated with and attracted to ability and skill. And it's not fashionable to say, but to power. Who doesn't feel the tug of such a thing? But, uh-- yeah, I said it knowing what your reaction was going to be. I see you outside. (laughs) But it doesn't matter. There are bigger things than you and I.

MATT: "I think that's the key. The pursuit of magic, in the ways that we know it, in the ways that we've been disparately, but in some ways similarly raised and studied. At a certain point, it becomes about the self. It becomes about what I can do. And it's impressive that you've deviated at your skill level. I just hope it holds."

LIAM: That's the key, isn't it? Because if you were to put the very thing that I have wondered about for so many years in front of me, I'm really not sure what my reaction would be.

It is, as you say, a definition of the relationship. It's not "we are now dating;" it's them figuring out if they want similar things; if they will be not just compatible but good for each other. It's foundation laying and setting boundaries for something that won't come to fruition for some time yet, but it's undeniably something more serious than mere friendship.

I think the tower conversation is also uniquely important because it's Caleb's first romantic overture after meeting with Trent. He volunteers the information about his past not just willingly, but specifically in order to connect with Essek rather than to protect him or push him away. They are even able to laugh about it together, and that's really it. This is the point where romance becomes an option.

There's more - I think that Essek admiring Caleb's ability to set aside himself despite his rapid progression as a wizard is absolutely a flirtation, as is Caleb saying he's attracted to "ability and skill" - but really in the end it's them saying "this is my condition, and you have met it." I think the relationships that lack some kind of condition and stakes like this - and to be clear, it's okay if, as with several relationships I don't cover here, those stakes and boundaries are set not through a clear conversation that serves as a turning point but rather more implicitly/through actions - end up feeling fundamentally empty and lacking in possibility because there isn't that tension and that recognition of each other.

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

So I just finished Season 2 of Outer Range and I have very mixed feelings about the new season. I literally just finished the last episode so these are all my initial feelings with MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ALL 7 EPISODES:

I honestly couldn’t care less about any of the Tillerson/Autumn stuff (even though I realize it is what the show wants as the main plot). But every scene with either Billy or Luke and most of the scenes with Autumn just made me cringe and I always sighed whenever it cut back to them. The stuff in earlier episodes with Autumn and Cecilia was pretty good but as soon as she ate the mineral stuff, I lost interest.

I was so disappointed with the Rhett content. I feel like until episode 6, Rhett’s whole plotline was “Maria and I are at a motel”. Then both times he and Maria go to the Abbott home for dinner, it shows them for 30 seconds before cutting to them leaving. Finally, Rhett was tasked with keeping an eye on Autumn…then went to a coffee shop and didn’t have anything to do with her. Instead, he starts a new, last-second subplot that was given absolutely no time. Like I believe he would make this deal since he still wants to leave the ranch and needs money, but throwing it in at the last minute is such a huh? moment. It was almost as if the showrunners saw what a following Rhett had and threw in some thirst content before calling it a day.

 And I never liked Maria, but it seemed as if they were trying so hard to make her more likable in her first few scenes with Rhett but it came off forced and over the top. Then Missy Goody Two-shoes who left Rhett last season because of lies and possible law-breaking is stealing cash from work? What in her character has shown she would do something like that?

I was glad they spent more time with Joy this season and I liked her episode in the past. It was different from everything else the show has done but I thought they could have done more with her once she made it back to the present.

Surprisingly, I really enjoyed all the Perry in the past stuff. I despised him last season but his story this season was really entertaining. Plus, I loved the actors they cast as younger Royal, Cecilia, and Wayne. They felt like believable younger versions of the characters and helped build up their backstory. And I thought Perry returning to the night of Trevor’s murder and changing the past was really surprising and interesting.

But then when past Perry is killed, shouldn’t current Perry disappear or something? Autumn and Amy have been shown to be connected in a life/death sort of way, so why not Perry? Plus, we’ve seen changes in the past alter the memories of the future (like Royal shooting his dad to save Joy not as a hunting accident) so why does the fact Perry is dead and Trevor is alive not change the “present”? Even if current Perry didn’t disappear and took the place of past Perry, Trevor being alive changes everything that happened since Episode 2 of Season 1.  Does this mean if there is a season 3 there will be multiple timelines in play?

Overall, it was...fine? Like Season 1 was no masterpiece but this season they leaned way too far into the sci-fi stuff and not enough with the Abbott family or their dynamic. Rhett was an afterthought at best, and I really hope if they come back for Season 3, he is given something to do besides hanging around without clothes on (though I still want those scenes too 😅😊).

Let me know what you thought or what you hope to see next season! 💖

[agirlwithdemonblood]

Broken Fan - Chapter 3

Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)

Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?

Chapter Summary: A mix of emotions, mixed signals, what is a girl supposed to think?

Warnings: Anxiety, swearing, alcohol consumption, placement is in a bar for part of this story, slight panic.

Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!

Loud voices poured into the streets slowly and then all at once, and suddenly I was no longer alone.

I stood from my spot against the wall, and took in all the people flooding the entrance of the hotel once again. Casual conversations were being held about their favorite parts of the convention, how attractive the men were, and how excited for the signings everybody was.

That was one part of the convention I was most nervous about, actually meeting him. Especially after the way he stared at me, would he even recognize me? Would he judge me for freaking out and leaving?

Part of me didn't even want to go to the signing tomorrow, I wanted to get in my car and head back to my hometown, never look back. But I knew I couldn't do that. I spent almost all of my money for this chance, this moment to feel like a part of civilization, so that when I had to go back to my normal-shitty life, at least I could hold onto these moments to get me through the dark nights.

That's why I came here, this is what I wanted and needed to do, and I was determined to get over myself and meet the man who saved my life.

I was being dramatic earlier, so what if he stared at me? It didn't mean anything, he was just connecting with his fans, but why did it end up being me? Why did I have to overthink the way his eyes bored into mine. Why do I keep having flashbacks of that gorgeous smile that was spread across his face?

And fuck sakes, WHY did I feel a connection when there clearly wasn't one. He was famous, I was a nobody. It was stupid and I hated my mind.

I was going to forget it even happened, that was my goal.

Night finally approached and the streets got quiet, everybody went back to their hotel rooms to get some sleep for tomorrow.

I spent the day trying to relax myself as I put on some Supernatural episodes, but it felt different now. Watching Dean on the screen felt wrong, nearly uncomfortable because I felt like I no longer knew Dean. I felt like I knew Jensen.

I sighed and shut my phone down as the sky got even darker. I couldn't sit in my car any longer so I decided to go for a walk, even though I had no idea where I was.

There were a few stores down this street, but a majority of them were already closed for the night, but hope filled me when I spotted the bar at the end of the block.

Quickly checking my wallet, I smiled contentedly when I noticed I had enough for a quick drink, even though I barely drank as is. I wasn’t really a heavy drinker, I’ve been to block parties or went to bars for some fun, but I didn’t enjoy drinking too much. After todays events, I needed just enough to calm my nerves.

The parking lot was nearly empty, except for a few cars, which made me sigh in relief. Less people the better. It was a small place, sort of secluded and quiet.

I walked in and looked around, spotting only a few others inside at tables and sitting at the bar. With such a weird name like the "The Thirsty Horse", this place was actually quite cute. There were pool tables and a jukebox, and a dart board. It was nice and calming, exactly where I needed to be.

I grabbed my drink and sat at a corner booth, sipping slowly while looking around at my surroundings. I couldn't help but smile at the scattered people either on a date or chatting with their buddies, it sort of made me feel less alone to see them interacting.

Halfway through my drink, the bell to the door rang and two men in hoodies entered, heading straight for the bar. The taller man scanned the room while the shorter one talked to the bartender who simply nodded, and then went to lock the bar door.

Confusion and anxiety seeped in as I watched them act sketchy, until the door was locked and blinds were pulled down. The tall man took his sweater and glasses off first, and my jaw nearly dropped when I recognized the mystery figure.

Jared Padalecki.

My heart nearly stopped beating. If that was Jared, that could only mean....

The second man took off his sweater and my thought was confirmed. There he was, Jensen Ackles. They were here, in the same bar, only a few feet away, and directly by the door so I couldn't leave.

Fuck.

Jensen scanned the room in a way that made my heart beat faster. It was almost as if he sensed somebody here, like he was looking for somebody he knew.

I pushed my head in my drink and stayed low, crossing my fingers that he wouldn't notice, not after today, not with how I looked now. Thankfully, they didn't seem to recognize or even see me as they walked to the pool table and started chatting away like normal people, but I couldn't help but slightly watch the interaction. They looked so... normal. So regular.

Occasionally Jensen's eyes would scan the room once again, and every time I'd lower myself until it was nearly impossible to see him. I avoided watching them and quickly finished my drink before slowly sitting up, trying to spot the boys.

Jared was leaning against the bar chatting to the bartender and Jensen was nowhere to be found. I breathed easy when I realized he was probably in the bathroom, now was my chance. I got out of my seat and kept my head down, nodding at the bartender to lock the door after I left, and I rushed out.

My eyes stayed on the figures behind me, trying to make sure that Jensen didn't exit and see me, but he wasn't there. Thank god.

As soon as I turned to step out the door, my body ran into a firm figure in front of me, and I fell to the ground tangled with the poor victim of my clumsiness.

Embarrassment and anxiety was filling me as I started to untangle myself. "Shit! I am so sorry I wasn't paying attention."

"No problem at all." The famiar voice spoke, causing my heart to skip a beat. I knew that voice. Hesitantly, my eyes flickered up spotting the very man I was trying to avoid. Jensen.

He smiled softly as he stood from his spot, reaching his hand out to help me stand back up. With a shaky hand, I grabbed his and stood from my spot mere inches from him. His eyes were locked on mine once again, and I could barely breathe.

With all the strength I had, I ripped my gaze from his and stared down at the ground. "Uh, Seriously though I am really sorry."

He chuckled lightly as he dusted the dirt off his jeans, "Seriously though, it's totally fine."

I nodded and walked around him, swallowing hard with every step I took away from him. My entire body was buzzing and I felt like I could probably throw up at any moment, he must really think much about me now.

"Wait." He spoke, and I stopped dead in my tracks. Turning slowly, I tried to best to hide the look of anxiety that was probably stretched all across my face, and simply nodded for him to go on.

He stepped closer, "Your the girl from the convention right? Middle row?"

Oh god, he did remember me. What do I do? Shit, speak dummy, speak!

"Um, yeah that was me."

His smile widened and his hands moved into his pockets, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks as he stared back. "I thought I recognized you."

I giggled nervously and nodded, "Yup..."

Before my thoughts could run wild, he looked back to the bar and than to me, "Did you want to come in for a drink with me and Jared?"

Wait, what? Did I hear that right? I'm dreaming... Right?

He laughed at my shocked expression and held his hands up in surrender, "I'm sorry if that was uncomfortable, don't feel inclined to say yes, I just figured..."

He stopped for a second and I laughed lightly, "You just figured there was a fan who was meeting the people she always wanted to, and you felt inclined to do something nice, like a wish for a cancer kid or that sort of thing."

His smile dropped and I mentally kicked myself, nice way of wording it.

I shook my head frantically and stepped closer, "God, that was so rude I'm sorry."

"It's all good." He laughed out, "I was actually going to say that I figured if you didn't like the panel, I wanted to make it up to you."

I furrowed my brows in confusion, "Why do you think I didn't like the panel?"

He shrugged, "You did leave 15 minutes in."

"Oh." I whispered. "Right."

How the hell do I explain this one?

Before I could respond, he stepped closer, arms crossing over his body. "It's okay if you don't want to, I wouldn't be offended. If you end up changing your mind and want to come join us, we would be happy to have you." With that, he smiled and walked back to the entrance, only turning back at the door to shoot me yet another bright smile.

I stood in my spot for what felt like hours contemplating my decision. I could either go inside and drink with the boys-possibly have a great experience and get to know them better, or I could go home and wait till tomorrow, possibly regretting not saying yes.

I have no idea what to do. I have no idea why he even wanted me to drink with him, was it pity? Maybe it was his ego because I left the panel early, or maybe he felt the same thing I did-No that's stupid… right?

Jensen’s POV

I couldn’t take my eyes off those damn doors.

Was she going to come in? Did I come off too strong or make her uncomfortable, yet again?

I have no idea why this is happening, why I’m acting like a 17 year old boy who’s on my first date, I don’t even know her!

But there’s something about her I can’t place ever since the first day I saw her in the crowd. She looked so… vulnerable. So innocent and kind. For the first time in a long time, I felt a connection between us. I felt it when my eyes reached hers, I felt it when she crashed into me and she apologized for her sassy remark, there was something.

Maybe I was being stupid, but I swear she is different. She didn’t fangirl or freak out when she saw me, she treated me like a regular human being. She looked at me as if we were the same, and I adored that.

I don’t know what was going on or what it was about her, but I felt the need to talk to her more. To see her again.

Did she feel it too?

After mustering up as much courage I could, the doors swung open and I stepped inside, instantly feeling Jensen's eyes on me. I smiled nervously and crossed the room until I was directly in front of him.

"Hey, so glad you decided to join us." He stated confidently.

I shrugged and bit back the kiddish smile that wanted to appear, "Yeah, thanks for inviting me."

The silence was deafening, every moment that passed only made the tension grow higher. Jensen quickly cleared his throat and turned towards Jared, who was staring like he was watching a very interesting episode of his favorite show.

"Sorry, Jared this is..." Jensen froze and turned back towards me, "You never actually told me your name."

I shook my head as I laughed and stepped closer, reaching my hand out, "I'm Y/N, it's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too Y/N, i'm going to get us some shots, you drink?"

I nodded in response as I sat at the table, trying to ignore the way Jensen's eyes were heating up every inch of my body the more he stared. He sat beside me quickly, turning to face my direction. "So..."

"So..." I repeated quietly, causing his chest to boom with laughter, god his laugh was beautiful.

"So, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

I turned in confusion, "What?"

"At the panel." He stated, "I apologize if when I kept looking at you, it made you feel uneasy or uncomfortable."

I shook my head frantically as a laugh escaped my throat, "You didn't. I'm pretty sure any fan would die if the great Jensen Ackles couldn't keep his eyes off of her."

His laugh was stronger, more powerful and it send shivers down my spine. "Not you though."

I stared back and waited, noting the way his smile faltered slightly. "The great Jensen Ackles doesn't have that effect on you huh?"

My cheeks burned red and I turned away, shrugging my shoulders. "I never said it didn't.

Like a saviour, Jared returned and placed all the shots in front of us, indicating for all of us to take a shot.

"Jensen, your first for pool." He stated, before taking Jensen's spot on the bench beside me.

Jared turned towards me and smirked, "So..."

I nearly choked on my drink as laughter erupted, "Wow, you and Jensen really are brothers eh? That's exactly how he started our conversation."

Jared laugh in response and nodded, "Yeah we know practically everything about eachother, which is why I wanted to ask... What did you do or say to catch Jensen's eye so quickly?"

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I looked towards Jensen, and than Jared. "What?"

He shrugged and moved closer, "He never invites fans to have drinks, even when they ask. So I'm curious how you got an in."

I could suddenly feel reality slam right back into me, he was right. Who was I? Why was I here. I know Jared probably didn't mean anything with his comments, but I could suddenly feel guilty and embarrassed that it might look like I forced my way in here and that's not what I wanted to do, at all.

I took my last shot and smiled at Jared, "I'm sorry to cut this short but I actually have to head back, big day at the convetion tomorrow, thank you for letting me join and it was so good to see you again Jensen, so good to meet you Jared."

Before the boys could say anything, I rushed as fast as I could out of the bar, my heart was pounding in my ears and I couldn't breathe.

Was Jared right? Did I force my way into his life somehow or was it genuine? I was an idiot for thinking he wanted me there, right? I didn't know what to think, but I knew I felt embarrassed and ashamed, and anxious to see him tomorrow.

Jensen's POV

As soon as the bar door shut, I felt my heart pang in my chest. I don't understand, I thought we were getting somewhere, was that a stupid idea? I knew it was risky inviting a fan to have a drink with me, but she's different, what went wrong?

My gaze moved to Jared and I stepped closer, swatting his shoulder. "What did you say to her?"

He held his hands up in defense as a shocked expression appeared, "I didn't say anything, I was joking with her."

I grit my teeth and stared, "What did you say?"

He sighed and pushed the hair from his face, "I just asked her what she said or did to get an in with you considering you never ask fans to grab a drink with them."

I could feel the anger bubbling, "Your an idiot. You realize you made it seem like she conned her way into here, like I'm not the one who invited her and wanted her here."

Jared's expression faded as he realized what I was talking about, finally. "Oh. Shit, yeah I can see that now. I'm sorry dude I didn't think of it that way."

I sighed and sat beside him, finishing the shots that were laid out in front of us. Jared's hand came down on my shoulder as he brought another shot to his lips. "Seriously man, I'm sorry."

I shrugged, "It's okay. It might have been a bad idea to invite her anyways."

"Why did you." he whispered, "Just curious."

A deep sigh escaped my throat as I thought of an answer I didn't have, "I really don't know. I saw her at the convention and I just... I don't know, felt something? It's stupid, I don't even know her."

"It's not stupid." Jared started, "You can't help who you connect with, maybe she is special. I mean, you have never once invited somebody out for drinks with us unless it was a coworker or you've been dating them for a while. Also, don't think I didn't notice the way you were staring at her."

I shrugged and turned towards him, "But I don't know her."

He smiled lightly, "I don't think that matters, your heart wants what it wants, there's a reason why you felt so connected to her, you just need to figure out why."

"But, isn't this just complicated and stupid? Messing with a fan?"

Jared laughed loudly, "First of all, don't call it messing. Second, I met her for about two miniutes but I can say she did not treat you like you were a famous actor, or me for that matter, and she didn't act like a fan. That's not all she is."

I nodded, "Yeah, your right. I actually felt... human around her. Like I wasn't a celebrity or a piece of meat, she just treated me like normal. But I don't know how she feels, I may have come on too strong and blown it."

Jared shook his head, "You'll get another chance if it's fate, just let the world decide what's best for you."

Let the world decide. Pshh. I didn't really believe in fate, but after these two interactions with you, I was starting to think maybe Jared had a point, maybe it was fate.

Maybe you were made for me.

Maybe.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️

[hotasfahrenheit]

i had a thought while i was watching the ending of the Last Twilight finale and i think part of what threw me so much about the ending of this series is that it felt a lot like what happened that i hated about the finale and ending of How I Met Your Mother.

what???? no really hang on i know that sounds like a wild comparison but it makes sense hear me out.

looking back on HIMYM there's plenty of problematic shit with that show in general, but when it was airing it was HUGE with one of my friend groups in particular and we were all crazy about it. constantly quoting it, watching and rewatching it together, one time some of us watched the whole first season in one night and stayed up to get through it all. and the show grew and changed over the years and so did we, i moved away, but the show still was a nice connection point. and then the finale happened.

they took the original idea for the ending that they had when the show started and when they probably figured they'd get 2 or 3 seasons out of it instead of 9- that Ted and Robin would end up together- and ignored all of the years of character growth and plot development that had happened, including Ted literally processing his feelings finally and really letting go of Robin and falling in love with someone else, and Robin and Barney growing into their relationship and figuring out how to be healthy and good partners for each other- and just threw it all away and RAMMED the ending cap of Ted and Robin onto the last episode and were like "lol cool we finally did it" and just.... that was that. and it made me never want to watch the show again.

Last Twilight is giving me the exact same feelings in a much shorter time span.

it felt like someone had the idea that Day should get his sight back at the end when they first started writing this show, and then even tho they wrote a beautiful narrative of accepting your disabilities and learning how to live life happily no matter what and how anyone can find love etc etc etc they really liked the idea that Day would get his sight back after all and just rammed it onto the end of the series. it didn't fit the story anymore with how the characters were developing or the direction the story was taking, but that mattered less than hitting this plot point so everything just went out the window for it to happen.

it's true that in real life, sometimes people are only disabled temporarily even if they accept the fact that they their disability may be permanent. it's true that in real life, people can get cornea transplants and have their vision restored. but in a story that presented itself for roughly 10 episodes as being about the fact that you can learn to live with a sudden, unexpected disability and that life can still be full of joy and love even when it changes, having a magical disability fix at the last minute just feels like a betrayal of that message, the entire plot, the character growth, all of it. the idea of the cornea transplant was presented early on, yes, and mentioned a few times throughout, but the way it was dangled in when Day had hit some kind of level of meaningful acceptance then yanked away, then popped up right at the very end once more when he had again made meaningful progress in his life, made it feel like a disservice to the narrative/message instead of meant as something to give anyone dealing with a temporary disability hope or a meaningful story that is about the potentiality of overcoming a disability.

like one of the only narrative reasons i can maybe see behind it is if you really lean into Day having any lingering doubts about Mhok being with him because of pitying his blindness, having his vision restored and Mhok still being there removes any reason for pity so his love must be real? but forcing them to break up then get back together and have Day get the surgery and Mhok stick around to prove Mhok really genuinely loves him feels like a wild stretch and needlessly cruel to Mhok (which i have a lot of feelings about anyway with the whole lack of allowing Mhok a single ounce of grace or time to process his grief but-) but at this point who even knows.

i never thought i'd be relating a Thai BL series to HIMYM but they really made me feel that way and here we are, frustrated and disappointed all over again.

at least Night and Phorjai got the happy ending they deserved and this story only took a few months instead of literal years of my life to get through.

[starry-blue-echoes]

finally some well deserved cinderella hate on my dash!! couldn't agree more with your post (though even yukako literally losing her face didn't feel satisfying cause her biggest flaw wasn't *forgetfulness* for fucks sake)

so I was wondering how would you fix this episode if you could? I'd say get rid of it entirely but I really like aya as a character :(

I'm not a writer so it's hard for me to figure out

though I like to imagine a scenario where after aya's death cinderella stops working and koichi comes to his senses and it turns into a big complicated mess real fast ^^

I ACTUALLY DO HAVE A REWRITE FOR IT that I really want to make into a proper fic :DDD

In almost every scenario of Yukakoi I kinda just. Mentally replace Cinderella with this even though it technically ends on a more platonic note but still djrbvjbvs

basically, aside from Aya and Cinderella The Stand (which I've made some minor changes to) I've almost completely scrapped the whole episode and rewritten it in a way that I think fits way better. This is my Cinderella Rewrite :D

So it's been a few days/weeks since everything went down, and Yukako's been doing a lot of self reflection. She's been thinking, questioning, really just trying to figure things out. Admittedly it's a bit hard because she doesn't really have any friends to bounce her thoughts off of, but She's Trying Her Best

then she meets Aya. Hears her promises of love and how with her Stand, she can make it happen easily

and Yukako does accept the changes, albeit hesitantly. Cinderella changes her body, and for those precious 30 minutes, Yukako gets to experience Koichi loving her

......only she doesn't feel the happiness she thought, she hoped, she would. Doesn't feel the euphoria of love and care being given back to her and reciprocated

instead, it makes her sick to her stomach

because this isn't real. The glimmer in Koichi's eyes, the flush of his cheeks, the stutter of his words, none of it is real. There's a sense of wrongness to it, and deep down she can't help but feel like he isn't acting like Koichi would. His eyes, normally so sharp and clear, have a hazed over look like he isn't actually seeing her, and his smile is sweet but blank. It's not genuine and it makes her sick that such a terrifying expression could ever be on his face

this isn't love. This is a trick, an illusion, a false reality

when the effects of Cinderella wear off and Koichi looks at her the same way he did before, when he looks like himself again, she can't help but feel relieved. While his wariness hurts, it's far preferred to the sickly sweet smiles and dazed eyes

and this is when everything finally clicks for Yukako. It comes crashing down all at once and she begins to slowly, properly understand what she did. And with this realization comes a sort of acceptance. She draws connections between the reaches she was willing to go and Cinderella literally manipulating reality to make these things happen, and starts to see that it..... really wasn't healthy

For the first time, she finally puts Koichi's feelings before her own and stops pursuing him

........but as I said before, I said this episode was being rewritten. Not completely averted. And with Yukako chilling out..... who will be the antagonist?

Well :)

remember way back before Yukako kidnapped Koichi and was being unhealthily possessive she set that one random girl's hair on fire?

Yeah. Yeah her

She was pretty upset after everything that happened and ends up concocting a plan for revenge

I kinda want to play with her and Yukako and their reactions, but specifically in how similar I can make them, specifically in a "your feelings by themselves are fine and valid but the things you are doing to satisfy them are not" way

It wasn't hard for the girl to put together the pieces and realize Yukako had been the one to set her hair on fire, and understandably she was really pissed about it and went about planning some kind of way to get back at her

more or less, it boiled down to Get Hirose Have A Crush On Me And Lead Him On To Crush Yukako's Heart

now, there are three important things about this girl:

1) she had no idea about 95% of the stuff Yukako had done. Her knowledge was pretty much limited to Yukako Likes Hirose, Yukako Didn't Like I Was Talking Shit About Hirose, and Hirose Doesn't Reciprocate Yukako's Feelings. If she'd known just how far Yukako had been willing to go and what exactly she'd done to make Koichi so wary of her, she would've hard noped out of the situation

2) She is Just A Normal Person. She has no idea about any of the magic or Stand things going on. Because of this, she also assumes that Yukako lighting her hair on fire had been a preplanned thing instead of an impulsive decision

3) She Is A First Year In Highschool and first years are petty assholes who can be kinda dumb sometimes when trying to be petty assholes

so yeah, that's going on now. Maybe in between Yukako's first episode and "this episode" there could've been moments where the girl made slight background appearances and stuff as a sort of build up

Unfortunately (for her at least), Koichi doesn't have much interest in her and mostly brushes it off. Plus...... he's admittedly a bit on guard after everything that happened with Yukako, and so are his friends. This is then how Aya and Cinderella tie into things again. Fast forward a few more weeks to when the episode actually happens, and this girl pays Aya a visit. Now, she had no idea Aya was actually magic, but she didn't really question it because it got her the results she wanted. And Yukako..... actually does notice Koichi's "affections" for this other girl, and while it does hurt she stays firm with herself and stays away. She should be happy for him after all

.......but then she keeps noticing things. It wasn't on purpose, but given their proximity in school they're bound to pass by each other every once in a while, and what she sees.... she doesn't like. Koichi's behavior is...... off and weird and familiar for some reason, and the way his affections are received is even worse. This other girl brushes him off, disrespects him, her attitude almost seems mocking at times, but Koichi seems either completely oblivious to it or entirely uncaring

Yukako is then given a bit of a crisis. How this girl is treating Koichi feels so wrong, but she genuinely isn't able to tell if these feelings are lingering jealousy or Hey Something Is Actually Wrong Here, and she really doesn't want to risk it being the latter because that will just hurt Koichi even more. Following Koichi around to gather evidence is exactly what she's trying to avoid doing, but she also doesn't know any other way

so after a lot of mulling and debating and trying to figure out what the hell is happening, she ends up going to Josuke and Okuyasu

and while at first they're on edge and suspicious...... they can't deny they've noticed what she has as well. Have noticed it for a while, but they haven't been able to do much. They think Koichi's acting weird, but the girl isn't a Stand User (they've tested it a few times already) and they're really not sure how to go about this. They don't trust her, not by a long shot and they're honestly not completely sure she isn't going to stab them in the back when it's over, but they're willing to work with her on this for Koichi's sake

Yukako's honestly fine with their suspicion, she's just happy she wasn't making things up like she feared

so they set up a trap of sorts. Yukako's going to confront the girl (without violence, just verbally) alone about this under the guise she's still in love with him while Josuke and Okuyasu hide nearby to eavesdrop

So they do! And this was exactly what the girl was waiting for. She tears into Yukako, insulting her, pointing out how Koichi was nervous around her, maybe bringing in her home life (which I headcanon to be Nonexistent At Best), and really just pointing out every single one of Yukako's insecurities and throwing it in her face. Josuke and Okuyasu feel...... really awkward for that part of the conversation, but then Yukako finally manages to steer it to the whole reason why they were here

Yukako points out how the girl clearly didn't love Koichi, hell she didn't even seem to like him, so why was she keeping him around?

And the girl just flat out admits to what she's doing. How she couldn't care less about Koichi, how seeing him trip over himself to try and get her to like him is hilarious, how the whole reason she's doing this is to hurt Yukako, and how despite the fact she's said everything she wouldn't be able to do a thing about it because Koichi's wrapped around her finger and no one would ever believe her :)

so she leaves Yukako slightly shell shocked in the middle of the room with a VERY murderous Josuke and Okuyasu, all still reeling at what this girl just said

so now they're a bit stuck. None of them had the foresight to record the conversation because they didn't think she'd spill everything like that, and if Josuke and Okuyasu hadn't been able to convince Koichi before, Yukako joining the mix wasn't going to make it much better. The two boys were honestly surprised there weren't any Stand Shenanigans going on. They knew she wasn't a User, but it was still wild that this was all happening naturally

.......and it's with that comment things finally click with Yukako. She recalls the Stand User beautician she had visited all those weeks ago, how Koichi's behavior is almost exactly like what it had been during that half hour, how this girl would've had access to Aya's services, and everything falls into place

the three of them BOOK IT over to Aya's and prepare for a fight...... only they don't get one. Aya's naturally really confused about what's happening and asks, but when she learns the situation?

oh yeah, she's P I S S E D

after all, Aya does genuinely want people to find love. She wants to be their fairy godmother making their wishes for love come true, wants to give them a happy ending as long as they're willing to put the time and effort into making it happen. So learning this girl was using it for revenge? That she was toying with Koichi's feelings to get back at someone else? Yeah she's ready to go fucking ballistic

she cancels Cinderella's ability on the girl immediately and they all run back to the school to see if it worked, and it did :D....... but both parties noticed immediately and are now having a rather loud argument because Koichi's understandably freaking the fuck out because his mind was being messed with and the girl is pissed that Koichi's finally realized what's going on. For a second things looked like they might escalate even further, but the gang steps in, call her out on her bullshit (maybe the girl tries pinning some of it on Yukako but they shut that down quick), and take Koichi home. Aya explains to Koichi about her Stand and profusely apologizes for her unknowing role in all this, and tells the kids they're welcome any time

and they finally just. Have a moment of calm to take a breather. They all start walking home with the three explaining everything Aya didn't to Koichi and making plans for the next day to make sure the girl didn't try anything else

and..... I'll admit, I'm not too sure how, but eventually, Koichi and Yukako are going to be left alone, and the following dialog is said:

“W-wait…… look, I won’t lie…. what you did before wasn’t okay. You hurt me, and I was scared. But….. but you have changed. You’ve grown, and you listened to what I told you. You saved me because it was the right thing, not because you wanted me to give you anything or because you wanted anything and….. thank you.

I…. Before, at the cafe when you confessed to me….. I don’t hate you, and I don’t think you’re ugly. Actually, I think you’re very beautiful. You just…. caught me off guard. The last thing I was expecting was a love confession. I didn’t know how to respond, and suddenly you were yelling and I-"

*a deep breath and a moment of silence*

"....I don’t know if I’ll ever love you like that, and I'm sorry. But.... maybe we could try to be friends?"

and after everything that had happened throughout the last few weeks. After learning more about herself. After learning about how..... nice it could be to have friends who you could trust to look out for you

Yukako accepts with a few tears and a soft, happy smile

(also, if in retaliation for using her Stand in such a way Aya ended up rearranging the girl's face into something much less attractive..... well, no one needs to know it was her :))

[rachelbachelcos]

Let’s Talk About Fairy Tail!

Before you start reading this just know that this does contain spoilers up to the end of the show. Also. YES. I will go on for hours about this show if you let me.

Recently I finished my third? fourth? rewatch of the Fairy Tail anime and was once again reminded how much I love it. Now I’m not one who likes to rank my favorite shows or have “Top 5’s” and the like, but Fairy Tail would definitely be at the top of mine if I did. It has definitely become one of my top comfort shows. 

I started watching anime sometime around 2018, so I haven’t been in the anime community for long, nor was I around when Fairy Tail started and when all of the opinions on the series were being voiced. Not long after I got into Fairy Tail, I learned that there was a lot of hate around it that I never really understood. Is it perfect? No, it definitely has its flaws. But many fan favorites aren’t.

I think what most people don’t understand, and need to, is that everybody consumes different media for different reasons. What I might be looking for in a show is not the same as what you are looking for in a show. One of the biggest tropes that Fairy Tail has and plays into is “found family”. This is the main reason that I keep coming back to watch this series. For individuals like me, who have always struggled to fit in and connect with their family, this is huge! This series makes you feel like a part of the guild, and like you are part of their created family. The guild accepts and embraces all of the differences and personalities of its members, something that people like me wished our families could do. They will do whatever they can to help each other. It is mentioned all the time how the guild is like a family, with Makarov always referring to its members as his “children”. I have never wished to crawl into my screen and be part of a fictional world more than this one.

Fairy Tail is a series that is bright, colorful, and full of hope and joy. It also is full of action and adventure. I’ve seen the argument that one of its problems is that nobody ever dies and there is too much “power of friendship”, but is that really such a bad thing? Sometimes we need the lightheartedness and comfort knowing that our favorite characters are going to be ok, and make it out alive. To put it into fanfic terms: sometimes we need a little more fluff, and less angst. There are plenty of other series that specialize in tackling more serious topics and dramatics. If I wanted to watch a bunch of people get killed, I’d go watch Attack on Titan. I’m certainly not watching that for its wholesome vibes. Reality already has so much intensity and drama. If I’m trying to escape from it for a bit, am I really escaping if the media I’m consuming is also full of it?

When it comes to pulling at your heartstrings, Fairy Tail actually does a pretty good job at that without anybody dying. For starters, the Tartaros arc as a whole is emotional. Between fanfics and edits that I had seen prior, I was aware of Aquarius’s key getting broken and her leaving before I even watched that episode. However when I did watch it, even knowing it was going to happen, it tore me up. I cried so hard. Don’t even get me started on the dragons at the end of the arc. Another emotional moment for me was during the Tenrou arc when Cana told Gildarts that she was his daughter. That moment made me tear up, but with happy tears. It’s especially endearing to see how they changed and adapted to that new relationship over the course of the rest of the series, especially Gildarts.

Speaking of character development, Fairy Tail actually does this well for some of the characters. Let’s start with Lucy. Yes. Lucy Heartfilia (I will not tolerate any Lucy hate)  has some great development. At the start of the series, she is shown to be scared and hesitant during missions and fights, and relying on the others to take care of business. Gradually she becomes stronger, both with her magic and mentality. Her growth feels like a natural and realistic progression. Come the end of the series Lucy has unlocked new and powerful sides to her magic, and fights alongside the others. Honestly, considering her background as a socialite, her development is even more impressive. I could write a whole ass essay about her character if I’m honest. It’s tempting.

Ok. Here’s my hot take: I don’t think that the fanservice in Fairy Tail is as bad as people make it out to be. Yes it is there, I'm not trying to say that it isn't, but for me, I don’t think it ever really took away from the story. Off the top of my head, there is mainly one instance that sticks out to me where I felt that it was excessive and unnecessary, and that was during the Grand Magic Games arc during Mirajane and Jenny’s battle. I also want to point out that it is the same characters who have the most fanservice that are deemed the strongest, while being simultaneously feared and looked up to for that strength. The fanservice is not their only character defining trait. I think if it were, then it would be a problem.

Some time after I started writing this (which I have been doing on and off for awhile now) I came across this video on TikTok that talked about one of Fairy Tail’s best factors is its enjoyability, and I loved that simplistic explanation of the series. 

I have so many more thoughts about this series, but I’ll stop here. My other thoughts might eventually get their own posts. Especially if I feel like spending time focusing on specific characters or moments (that Lucy character analysis is itching for me to write it). On that note, I am always down to scream about Fairy Tail if you are!

Other places to find me: Instagram, TikTok

[tenobscure]

Slay The Princess in Death Battle (well, kinda)

Some people here may be familiar with Death Battle - animational show where authors make 2 characters from different shows/games/comisc/etc fight to the death, explaining their abilities and characters/backgroung before and the reason for one of the opponents to win after. It's 10th season has ended literally yesterday, it's a greath show if you like this kind of stuff.

So, some time after playing Slay The Princess (and being obsessed with it since) I got back into the DB, and it' all kinda mixed together, and I came up with an idea for a matchup that I now simply can't forget - Hatou Manabu from Qualia the Purple vs Princess from, well, Slay the Princess. It's just so perfect! I even wrote down the reason why:

Connections:

both are girls with powers based on perception and alternative possibilities, archiving some sort of truth at the end

both changes their forms to those from other worlds

both in their base forms are not very high-scale

both on their peak are abstract multiversal beings existing in every moment and place

both have endings where they abandon their multiversal selfies and become mortals to be with their loved ones

both have love as one of their main motivations, ready to hurt the object of their love for the greater good for them

both have death as a major theme of their narratives

Differences:

Hatou changes her forms on choice, while Princess changes based on how others see her

Hatou wants to prevent death, while Princess IS death itself

Hatou is a human who achieved godhood, Princess is god sealed in human form

But I know that those two works of fiction are two niche and they would never get an episode. And so, I remembered a simple principe - "if you want it done right you should just do it yourself".

So now I'm making my own episode. Khem-

And with all titanic depth of my feelings toward Slay The Princess, I shall make this happend, and shall this episode be the best it could, no matter how many time, work and blood it will take, so that I may express my love for our beloved!

Khem.

So, anyway. Here's the progress for a first week of development:

- I found a person to be a second writer (and potentially second host). By this time we got somewhat of a main idea for how the battle would go, and I've even pitched some ideas for specific scenes.

- After getting some experience with organization of an art-collab I'm hosting at the moment (more like I got hit in a face by reality, but whatever) I decided to take more time in organizing things and making storyboards. It would hopefully make the result less messy, but would take more time because of other stuff I need and want to do.

- On note of music, I have a good friend who could write it, although he could be busy. So there are a few ways: we can use some free music, we can hope that my friend could write music for us, or I could speedrun music theory myself.

Think I will post updates onces in a week or two

Oh, and as bonus - a little sneak peek into some storyboard.

Thanks for reading.

Update: right in a day I was writing this text I foudn out about DLC... it seems curse of Death Battle* has it ways even with fan works * meme in the community, appeared because of how many times after announcement/release of a new episode one of the combatants/series featured in it would get an announcement of new content that could change the results

[marcussour]

It feels kinda weird being like the only one not excited for the Mighty Nein reunion.

Thing is, when I started watching CR back in 2019, I began with, well, the beginning, campaign 1, and my idea was to go in chronological order. But when campaign 3 started, I thought "let's watch the first episode and then continue the rest later", but then I got hooked with C3, so I basically was watching both Vox Machina and Bell Hells at the same time.

And then when I finished watching everything Vox Machina (the campaign and the one shots) at the beginning of this year, my plan was to start watching campaign 2 around july, which of course hasn't happened yet even tough it's almost november. And it's not only that watching 2 campaigns (and Candela Obscura, and D20 from time to time) simultaneously it's tiresome, but also, I feel like, I dunno, less motivated to watch M9.

I don't have anything against campaign 2 (I cheered and freaked out when Beau and Caleb appeared in C3 for example, even though I have way less of an emotional connection to them that the rest of people), but I do suppose that the fact that it's the most popular one meant that spoilers were almost unavoidable (contrary to campaign 1, since it was older and less people watched it, I only got 1 spoiler before I finished it, which was when Matt made a tweet about Vecna in regards to Stranger Things and that's how I found out that Vecna was part of C1), so in a way, even though I haven't watched it properly, I feel that I almost got a full idea of every important thing and story beat that happened throughout the campaign, so I feel less urgency to watch it.

Also, back when I had a twitter account, I remember having a couple of bad interactions with people I can only describe as "Mighty Nein fans first, Critical Role fans second" (the kind of people that would go off against anyone celebrating, say, new Vox Machina merch because they were angry that it wasn't Mighty Nein merch), and of course I don't want to generalize, but it did left me like, with kind of a sour disposition towards C2 that I really wish will change once I properly watch the Mighty Nein.

Anyway, I wish the best for everyone watching the reunion right now. Really hope I could one day share your enthusiasm, tho I reckon it'll be a couple of years from now at the minimum, since I don't think I'll start with C2 at least until 2024 (or, you know, could be way sooner if there was something in the reunion that's more than meaningful for C3)

(also, gonna put the spoilers tag in this rant since there are a couple of spoilers for C1 and C3)

[aspiringsophrosyne]

Episode 3: The Feast of Realms

What can be improved?

So....let's talk about episode 3.

Dinner With The Briarwoods.

This bit is mostly personal preference, but there's something here beyond that. Something I would like to get into so that we can come back to it later.

One thing I really enjoyed about the stream counterpart to this episode was the slow. Fucking. Burn.

Sadly, we weren't going to get nearly as much of a slow burn in the animated show; we have much, much less time to draw out tension and suspense. That said...I don't really understand the choice to change the circumstances around the dinner to make the scene as quick of a burn as it was.

Because now we have The Echo Tree, and the talk in Syldor's office.

That talk in Syngorn was exactly what I expected from the Briarwood dinner. It perfectly translated to animated medium the same horrible, slimy unease that comes from having to tolerate absolute vileness under a mask of civility because you just can't do anything else in the moment.

So....what up with that?

It's possible the writing crew didn't have the confidence three episodes in to try something so subtle...

But if that's not it, then why?

Adapting the dinner more closely to the stream would've served it just as well if not better. Both stream Percy and animated Percy are relatively quiet characters up to this point (especially compared to the other main characters). Letting animated Percy know about the Briarwoods in advance, letting him stay quiet, letting him subtly and silently boil at the Briarwoods audacity makes the resulting explosion of violence and irrationality that much more striking.

The CRew have said they didn't want the series to be a one-to-one adaptation. It can't be, and even if it could they wanted even stream watchers to occasionally be surprised. I respect and approve of that. However....while I can see the purpose behind other changes in the animated series (which I'll get into when they come up) I don't see what we get out of this one.

......I also think Vax with the Briarwoods in their room could've been dragged out just a little bit longer, but that's just a nitpick.

The Twins' Bond.

Recently on the TLOVM S2E12 q&a, Matt confirmed that the reason Vex couldn't sense Vax's presence in The Hope Devourer was because the golden life thread that had previously connected them had been redirected to the Matron of Ravens. Before this, they shared what was effectively a psychic twin bond, which allowed them to tell when one of them was in danger.

This....is not communicated incredibly well in the series up to this point.

What we get in The Feast of Realms is Vex inexplicably reacting to Vax being in trouble and knowing where he is, with no explanation or exposition. It basically comes across as a plot contrivance.

And it wouldn't have been hard at all to set up; while VM are talking and Vax volunteers to go scouting, Vex could've reassured the group that the twins have always had a sixth sense for each other. (You can even put in a gag here where she pinches him and they both react in pain at the same time.)

"I can always feel it if you're in trouble. And where you are when you get in trouble. So don't fuck it up. Or I will find you."

"Whatever you say, stubby."

Hell, they could've made it even more explicit than that by showing a golden thread pulling on Vex while her brother was downed in the courtyard. This would not only cause her to worry for him but would pull her in the correct direction.

This would've made it clear that there's an in-world reason Vox Machina was able to get to Vax in time. This would also set up Vax's deal with the Matron quite nicely. If the bond between the twins had been better established by that point, it being cut would have immediately communicated to the audience just how big a deal Vax's bargain was.

And how much it really changed what the twins once shared between them.

The Fight

One thing I have very, very little to criticize in this series and one thing Titmouse does exceptionally well is its fight sequences. Everything is kinetic, has weight, you can feel the damage being done to the participants, you feel the stakes....it's great.

What I think they have a problem with though, is cutting to scenes during a fight that have nothing to do with the action.

Let's look at how the show cuts back to Scanlan in the middle of the Briarwood fight:

The gang got kicked around for a bit, to the point where Keyleth and Vex were knocked off their feet and confered with each other:

Keyleth: We're not doing terrible, right?

Vex: No, this is terrible.

And then....we cut to Scanlan.....

For some reason?

This isn't to say that it's a bad idea in and of itself. Cutting back to the palace theoretically gives us a moment of comic relief, it can break tension, and/or drive up tension by pulling us away from the action while it's still ongoing. Also, Sam and Peter Habib's song writing is always a welcome addition to any episode.

The problem is the placement of it. Why did we cut to Scanlan then, at that point in the fight? What specifically did it give us to have it occur at that particular moment?

By all appearances, not much.

So, what can we do to make that moment more effective? There are probably a couple of ways, but here's just one possible example:

Have Delilah launch a very visually impressive spell at Vox Machina. Build up its approach. Have the camera pull in closer and closer to our heroes' faces to show this very dangerous spell getting closer and closer....only to cut away, right before it hits, to the inside of the palace. A loud bang is heard inside; maybe it even rattles the windows. The crowd notices and starts getting visibly and/or audibly confused and worried. Scanlan notices them noticing, then with desperate quick thinking, starts slathering cake all over himself and going into the climax of the song.

Placed this way, this scene serves multiple purposes:

It's one more thing that shows just how powerful Delilah is. Even people inside the palace are taking notice of her magic.

As mentioned earlier, it drives up suspense and cuts tension at the same time, as we see Vox Machina about to be hit by a powerful spell (that we hear go off inside the palace) but we don't get to see the result of it for a bit.

Having Scanlan notice this and then turn up the wildness of his act to try to distract the crowd gives him a touch of extra depth. Yes, Scanlan is a naturally outrageous character. But this helps show he uses his natural outrageousness strategically. This serves as a good example of why Scanlan is so integral to the group. Plus, it fits neatly with the way Sam would play at the table and how many people play Bards in D&D in general.

Lastly, it sets up Uriel and the palace guards coming upon the aftermath of the Briarwood fight at the end of the episode.

The Feast of Realms is a very solid episode, and arguably it's where everything really kicks off. There isn't much to really pick at here; just little bits and pieces that I think could've been done slightly better. Overall, damn well done, and surprisingly accurate to the stream as well.

[jakeroo123]

King propaganda day five! So, I could talk about King in Season 2 today, or draw attention to the many parallels he and Hunter have, but instead… I think it might be interesting to show some appreciation for Season 1 King. He's a more comedic, sure, but even so, there's more to him than meets the eye.

The first episode that really gives King much focus is "The Intruder" (which is excellent). We're first introduced to his interest in demons - something which could connect to how he doesn't know his origins. It's made clear, later in the episode, that he was trying to connect to Luz by teaching her - hoping someone would care about creatures like him. Because here, we get a moment of connection between Luz and King: Neither of them have really had any friends before. They're each others' first friend. And after that moment is when Luz first sees the light spell. They work together to get Eda back, and from that point on, they're best friends. Siblings from different worlds, who have each other's backs no matter what.

The next thing I want to note is in "Once Upon a Swap", though it's fairly small. We're shown that other people generally treat King like a cute little pet, which naturally bothers him and leaves him kind of isolated.

A brief moment for "Escape of the Palisman" just to note that it's got a really sweet Eda and King moment where his rage squeal is what brings her back from her cursed state. Even back then... Eda really is King's mom.

Now, "Sense and Insensitivity". King was a jerk this episode, it's true. That's the point. This is, for me, one of the most interesting episodes to look back on with hindsight, because I feel that it paints King's actions in an entirely different light with the knowledge of his youth. When King makes changes to the story, he expects Luz to like it. He doesn't fully understand what he did wrong. What really cements this for me is Luz's line "King, I know you're trying to help, but I think you're crossing a line" showing that she knows and understands that. And it also shows the strength of their friendship, even this early on. Being upset with each other leaves them miserable, and them making up is sweet. Yes, King was a jerk... but it's to further his development, for him to learn to listen to Luz, and their sibling bond is all the stronger for it.

"Really Small Problems" is the other Season 1 episode mostly focused on King. This brings back his issues with people treating him poorly, this time Willow and Gus. More importantly, however, the conflict is centered on two things: The lesson he learned in "Sense and Insensitivity", and his attachment to Luz. The latter is one of the most important parts of his development in Season 2, being a big part of why he wants to find his dad. Because he thinks, not entirely unreasonably at this point, that his first and best friend is going to leave him. The climax of this episode centered on him telling her that, which he didn't do because of the development he had in "Sense and Insensitivity". He's over-correcting for the lesson he learned then.

"Enchanting Grom Fright" has a bit of King, showing that he has stage fright - another hint towards his youth, I think - and showcasing a bit of his friendship with Gus, which I wish we had more of.

Finally, the season finale, "Young Blood, Old Souls". This one I bring up because it shows how King has changed and developed. In this episode, he finally admits that Eda is family to him, when at the start of the season they butted heads fairly often. And he acts in ways that are, in general, kinder and less selfish than he was at the start. He's changed, and his love for his family is clear.

The point is... I think King is an interesting, changing character, even in Season 1. So... vote for King.

Main Bracket Quarter Final 4: King Clawthorne vs Hunter

The winner of the poll qualifies for the semi-finals. The loser is relegated in the loser bracket.

[smokestarrules]

King’s Tide Promos

The season 2 finale. The final normal episode, before all that is left is the three 40-minute specials. It’s been a long ride, and King’s Tide brings us to fruition. So. Being the finale, we have gotten an absolutely ridiculous amount of promos for this episode, and it airs in less than twenty-four hours, so let’s go through them all. 

First thing to unpack here; the crack in King’s skull. It’s very purposeful in this image - it’s what we’re supposed to see first, with the way King’s head is turned. Perhaps he gets injured? I worry, because it’s awfully close to his eye, and an attack hard enough to crack literal bone is not going to be fun to witness against King. 

Then there’s the shadow. It’s clearly a play on King’s father, who was a Titan and likely the one King lives on now. The destiny King’s been wanting all his life, and now that he has it, he’s not being allowed to help. But the episode is named King’s Tide, and so I’m sure he’ll get his moment. Let’s just hope he isn’t too traumatized!

Next, his collar/necklace. It’s not on his neck, though; rather it’s just laying on the ground. What happens to it? Something that’s interesting is that we have also seen a similar purple glow to this image in Knock, Knock, Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door when Eda in the Owlbeast’s memories battles the Collector. With that combined with the fact that King is canonically connected to the Collector’s thoughts to a point, this is... worrying. 

With the possibly-snapped collar... could King be growing, I wonder? God knows we have little information on how exactly Titans grow to their size, but I wonder if maybe it’s not as slow a change as most’s growth. In the Titan Trapper’s lair in Edge of the World, the Titans skulls all seemed to be children’s ones, but perhaps their small size is simply because they stay small for a longer time than most. I mean, Eda’s been with King for eight years, and though he has grown, it’s not been a very dramatic change. Perhaps that’s coming soon, though, which results in King snapping his collar and having to leave it. 

This promo, which I believe is from the art director, strikes me less as foreshadowing something that will actually happen and more like just a broad statement of some of the main characters. With how much has to happen in this episode already, I don’t see how all these characters would be able to find each other so quickly, but it would be very cool if they do. 

God. I hope this is a scene from the episode. I would be so happy to see these kids all fighting together against something. Amity, Luz, Willow, Gus, Hunter, and King all in one fight?? I would die. Please let this happen. Please. 

Then there’s our very own Rebecca’s promo! A full animation this time, of dripping blue blood, picking King, Luz, and Eda out of the darkness. Notably, they all look fairly traumatized, which is just. Great. 

King’s got the same crack on his skull from the other promos, and he seems to be backing away from whatever is confront him. Meanwhile, Luz and Eda both share the same expression; shocked, heartbroken, and terrified. This simply doesn’t bode well. Notably, Eda is clutching the same arm she was branded on, so I assume her inability to produce Wild Magic anymore is going to be brought up at some point, which, considering that there will definitely be fighting involved, probably also isn’t a good sign. 

Next up is Ms. Terrace’s own; once again, King seems to be pondering what his role will be in all this by looking at his father’s skull - a skull that is going to be the turning point in this entire war, being that the Day of Unity is taking place there. There’s also the bloodred crescent moon floating eerily and pointedly above the Titan’s head, and the airships in the distance really hammer in the bleakness of the situation. This will be the final stand. 

(Something something Collector killed Titan something something)

Then there’s THIS bullshit. So.... the sky is bluer than it is usually. Which probably isn't ideal. But also, this frame just scares me in general. Philip looks far too smug for my tastes, and Eda (or I suppose it could be Raine) seems to be backing up, away from him as if he’s either figured her out or said something else equally horrible. 

Darius looks shocked as well, and I think that’s Eber who’s partially behind Philip. Overall, not an uplifting image. Does Philip’s plan work, and is that why the sky is blue?? Terrified, but we’re not even done yet. 

Then there’s the (assumed) thumbnail! Luz fighting someone, and looking fairly confident about it as well. Given how we left her in the last episode, being on her way to Philip, this place she’s in may very well be the skull. Either she broke free of any restraints or she wasn’t retrained at all (which would be concerning), and she’s either fighting Philip or some more Coven Guards on her way to Philip. 

Also... there doesn’t seem to be any glyphs in her hands. I guess this could just be a frame where the papers have already burned away, but with the fact that Luz seemed to be using spell circles alongside her glyphs in CotH... I have a feeling her palisman may be helping her with this fight as well, given that she seems to still have her backpack on. 

Lastly, we have... traumatized Luz. Sighs. 

Here, it looks like this and the last one aren’t very far apart from each other. God only knows which one’ll come first. Does Luz start out confident and turn to denial, or is it the opposite? Given how she chose willingly to go with Kikimora, I have a horrible feeling that it’s going to be the former. 

Welp. That's it, at least at the time of writing this, and I, for one, am absolutely terrified. Season finale soon, guys. 

[cjsinkythoughts]

Right From Left

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 3085

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Zemo being a punk, Bucky getting a little scary, some feelings, Sam being his fantastic, amazing, caring for everyone self

A/N: Here it is! At long last! I’ve been waiting for this episode and it was…holy fuck. I barely have words. And I can’t start or else I’ll be ranting for pages. Anyways, I know this Part is a little on the shorter side - not by much, but it still is - and it doesn’t even cover half the episode, but I’ve had a long day and I’m tired, so I’m going to sleep. I wanted to stop before Walker entered the picture too, because then I’m just gonna get more riled up and I’m working later. I’ll probably have another part out today, and then I’ll finish it tomorrow. Unless I can finish it today. I’ll try, but no promises.

Feel free to rant to me about the episode or the show, too, guys! My friends and I have been going back and forth about it for the past few hours. I’d love to hear your thoughts! I think that’s all for now.

As always, this isn’t beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you for reading, be kind to yourself and others, enjoy this part and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

!SPOILERS BELOW CUT!

You were avoiding him.

When you first got to Latvia, he had pulled you aside, eyes wide and pleading. “Doll, listen-”

“I really don’t think right now is the time to have the discussion we’re about to have.” Shaking your head, you avoided his gaze, your stomach twisting into knots. It was too much for you to handle; you couldn’t focus on the mission at hand and try to unravel the emotions that were making your gut flip like a gymnast. There were too many thoughts in your head, and you needed a clear mind.

“But-”

“Once this is all done, and our lives aren’t in danger. Once we’re back home, then we can talk, okay? Just…please. Not here. Not now.”

And he dropped it. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk about it. You just couldn’t. You had always been a ‘leave your baggage at the door’ type of person. Don’t mix work with personal. Not like you had much “personal” anyways when you first decided that was how it should be. And then your coworkers became family and your motto got a lot harder to follow. But you still followed it. And you would continue to follow it.

But that made you start avoiding him. Whether you meant to or not, everyone noticed, but no one said anything. Sam shot you a look when you didn’t offer to go with Bucky when he had to check something out. Zemo raised an eyebrow when he came back and, instead of immediately questioning him, you sat still on the couch, eyes glancing up briefly, before going back to playing with the strings of your hoodie.

You were paying attention to their conversation, especially when Karli Morgenthau was brought up, you just didn’t join in. Not even when Zemo mentioned the Avengers, eyeing you to see your reaction.

Honestly, you were tired, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Your shoulder hurt, your brain couldn’t process what the guys were talking about, and your heart couldn’t take any more hits.

It was something you’d been thinking about…you just thought it’d come after this mission.

“She will not stop. She will escalate until you kill her…or she kills you.”

“Maybe you’re wrong Zemo. The Serum never corrupted Steve.”

For the first time since he first walked in, your eyes met Bucky’s. “Touche.” Zemo pointed at Bucky with a pastry around his finger. “But there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?”

But you couldn’t wait until after this mission. Not when he was so connected to it. “I think I’m gonna go home.” You blurted out before Zemo and Bucky could argue further, Bucky slumping down onto the opposite side of the couch.

The moment the words left your lips, Sam and Bucky shot up, staring at you in disbelief.

“Wait, hold up. What? Now? We’re so close-”

“Why? Is it your arm? Is it hurting? You should’ve told us-”

“I’m just tired.” You cut in, shaking your head. “That’s all. I didn’t expect this to be drawn out this long when you called, Sammy.”

Bucky’s hand twitched as he hesitatingly scooted closer to you. “Doll, if this is because what happened on the jet-”

“It’s not, Buck.” You tried to give him a convincing smile, but you knew by the look in his eyes that he didn’t buy it for one second. You reached over to squeeze his hand, and when you pulled back, he held on tighter, a sigh escaping his lips as he stared down at your linked hands.

“Okay…if you wanna go home, we can get you home. Just…” His head turned back to you, a pleading pout on his features. “Just…stay. Another day. Please. You can keep avoiding me, I won’t even say another word to you if you don’t want. But stay. Just for one more day.”

Chewing on your cheek, you finally nodded slightly. “Okay. One more day.”

His eyes lit up, before his face fell again when you took your hand back and curled into the corner of the couch. “Let’s talk shop, boys.”

“Okay. So, from my understanding, Donya is like a pillar of the community, right?” Sam easily changed the topic back to the situation at hand, giving you a reassuring wink when you smiled at him gratefully. “So when I was a kid, my Tee Tee passed away.”

Bucky screwed his face up in confusion, straightening his head from where he had it leaned back. “Your - your Tee Tee?”

Sam gave him a look. “Yeah. My-my Tee Tee, yeah.”

Bucky looked at him weirdly. “Who is your Tee Tee?”

The exchange made you giggle a little bit, shaking your head. “Bucky’s a city boy from the 40’s, remember, Sammy?”

“Fine.” Sam rolled his eyes. “When I was a kid my aunt passed away.”

Bucky gave a slight huff, making you chuckle again. You stopped when he smiled over at you, but your grin didn’t leave your face. Even when they were the ones to give you a headache, your fellas were damn entertaining, that’s for sure.

With a sort-of plan in place - the gathering for Donya being no more than a theory, but the only idea you really had - you stretched out from your spot on the couch, twisting to crack your back. “Zemo.” The man stopped his rummaging through the cabinets and looked over his shoulder at you, an eyebrow raised. “Go put some clothes on. We’ve got work to do.”

He gave you an unimpressed look, opening his mouth, but Sam beat him to the punch. “Do as the lady says, man. You’re already walking on a tightrope after you shot Nagel!” Zemo waved dismissively at Sam’s exclamation, heading into a separate room to change out of his robe. “That guy is gonna drive me up the wall.”

“Don’t let him get to that pretty head of yours, Sammy.” You hummed, standing up, wincing slightly as you stretched your sore shoulder over your head.

You could tell Bucky wanted to say something, the way he snapped forwards, hands moving down his thigh like he was leaning over to reach for you, his eyes locked on your injured joint, but, just as he said earlier, he didn’t say a word. But the part that made you upset was…you didn’t stop him. You didn’t tell him it was okay for him to talk to you. You didn’t reassure him that you weren’t purposely trying to avoid him. You simply moved over to the kitchen to get something to drink.

It hurt worse than your shoulder, but you couldn’t handle it. Not then. Not with such an important part of the mission coming up. So you didn’t say anything. You just sipped your water, switching into tactic mode as your mind ran through the scenarios of what could possibly go down in the next 24 hours before you went home.

*************************

Walking under the arch, you couldn’t help but feel saddened as Zemo told you about what the courtyard used to look like. Thanos messed the world up so much more than you realized and, as much as you hated to admit it, the Avengers did have a part in it. Not that they - you - were in the wrong, necessarily. You truly believed you did what anyone in that situation, with the skills and abilities and knowledge the team had, would do what you did. Or tried to do.

“I’m gonna take a look around upstairs.” Sam stated, looking up at the upper stories of the building, before glancing at Bucky. “See what you can find out here. And keep an eye on him.”

“I’ll come with you.” You said, turning on your heel to follow Sam. The back of Bucky’s gloved hand brushed against yours, and instinctually you turned your palm to link your fingers and squeezing. You let go quickly once you realized what you were doing, nearly tripping up the stairs to get to Sam, not daring to wait for Bucky’s reaction.

“You’re an idiot.” He stated simply as soon as you met him at the top of the stairs.

“Can we focus on finding Donya right now, please?” You grumbled, moving forwards cautiously, peeking around the corner. You frowned when you saw two guys at the end of the hallway, looking back at you and Sam warily.

“You need to hear what he has to say, cher.”

You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “I know I do. I know. But I can’t. Not right now. I’m just trying to get this over with first. I don’t want too many things on my plate. I might choke.” It already felt like you were drowning most nights.

He paused at your words, giving you a once over, before nodding. “Okay. I can respect that.”

“Thank you.” You told him earnestly. “Now let’s try to get something from these people.”

He nodded in agreement and you two continued forwards with your search. Room after room, people walked out before you could get anything from them, locking doors behind them. The Flag Smashers logo was everywhere, but you expected nothing less from a refugee camp that practically worshipped what they were doing.

Even when you did get a guy to talk to you, he immediately shut you down, leaving you and Sam dejected. The fact that the world had gotten so bad that these people couldn’t trust you and Sam - Avengers; people who used to be heroes and bring hope to others - it made your heart sink.

“C’mon, Y/N.”

“Are we wrong?”

He froze at your question, his lips pressing together. “About what, exactly?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I just…I guess I can’t tell right from left anymore. I always assumed that the Avengers were the good guys. That the actions we’ve taken in the past were us making the world a better place, but…Sokovia and Ultron. Germany and the whole civil war thing we had going on. The entire world and Thanos. We don’t truly ever win. Do we?”

“I can’t answer that for you.” Sam shook his head. “I can’t tell you what to believe or who to believe in. But I can tell you that we’ve made a difference. Steve, Nat, Tony…they made a difference.”

“But was it a good difference? Was it a change? There’s a difference between changing the world and just making it different, Sam.”

He blinked at you, nodding slowly. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. And I don’t have that answer for you either. But they tried. They did what they thought was right. No matter if it was or not. And isn’t that all we can do? Try?”

His words made you think back to the conversation you had with Bucky once he learned about John Walker, which seemed so long ago. When you told him it wasn’t Sam’s fault. That he was just trying. That he did what he thought was right. 

And maybe he was wrong. But he made a decision. It was his decision. To do the right thing. And right then, not for the first time, you could see exactly what Steve saw in the man in front of you.

“You’re a good man, Sam.”

Sam grinned, slinging an arm around your shoulders and squeezing. “And you’re an incredible person, Y/N. Let’s go see if Bucky and the Baron got anything.”

You snickered at his mocking tone towards Zemo and nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

*****************************

You didn’t like it. You didn’t like it one bit. So far, Zemo kept proving you wrong. Even when it seemed like he was about to jump ship, he came back. No matter how many opportunities he had to escape, he never did. And it was making you even more suspicious.

You stayed out of Bucky and Sam’s conversation, although you had to agree with Sam’s point, especially with the conversation you just had.

Your thoughts were running a thousand miles a minute, only to be interrupted by Zemo information about the funeral this afternoon. Guess a snake will always be a snake.

“And you, uh, didn’t think this was important information?” You questioned, eyes narrowed and brow pinched.

He shrugged. “You have it now, don’t you, princess?”

Bucky growled at the nickname, leaning back on the couch, threatening Zemo with the Dora Milaje.

You can’t remember a time you’ve ever been scared of Bucky. Maybe a little threatened and intimidated by the Winter Soldier, but never scared of Bucky. And when he stood up after Zemo mentioned leverage, you didn’t expect anything from it; maybe another choke hold or something. So the glass hitting the wall, the clench in his jaw as he spoke gruffly to the Baron, for a mere second, he kind of frightened you. Maybe it was all the emotions you’d been through the past few weeks or maybe it was the adrenaline that seemed to be pulsing through your veins 24/7 nowadays. Whatever it was, it made you flinch, bolting up as Sam did.

You left the room quickly, hearing Sam say something about making a call, hoping to calm your racing heart.

“Doll?” You sat up from the bed you were laying on, legs hanging off the edge. Bucky stood in the doorway, nervously shifting his feet. “I know I said I’d leave you alone, but…”

You gave the bed a pat next to you and he gladly accepted the invitation, padding over to sit besides you. “I don’t want you to leave me alone, Buck. You’re my best friend. I-I just need to take it one thing at a time right now.”

He nodded. “I get it. I wasn’t…I wasn’t coming in to talk to you about that. You said we’ll talk about it later, so we’ll talk about it later.”

“I appreciate that, Bucky.” You smiled at him, before frowning. “What did you wanna talk about then? Are you okay?”

“Did I…did I scare you?”

You blinked at his question, tilting your head. “What?”

Jerking his head to the doorway he explained, “just then. With Zemo. Your heart spiked.”

“No.” You answered immediately. You would never ever admit that he kind of did scare you. It was just for a second and you knew how his brain worked; he’d beat himself up over it, go over his actions for hours instead of getting the rest he so desperately needs and deserves. He didn’t need that on his conscience right now. “I wasn’t - I just…you startled me. I wasn’t expecting that reaction-”

“I didn’t like the way he talked to you.” He spat out, glaring at his hands in his lap. “And then the smug bastard thought he was gonna get away with holding back information like that and I just…I dunno.”

His hand came off his thigh, but he hesitated. Before he could put it down again, you slipped your hand under his, linking your fingers, running your thumb in circles against his palm. “Don’t let him get to you, Buck. Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

A sigh left his lips and he nodded. “I know, I know. It’s just…hard. After everything he put me through - put us through - I…I just hate that he’s really our only option.”

You frowned, shifting on the bed to face him, one leg bending beneath you while the other still hung over. “Why are you so obsessed with catching these guys?”

“I wanna do something right.” He murmured, playing with your fingers. “I’ve done so much wrong…I just wanna do something right. And I feel...responsible for it, I guess. In a way. It’s Super Soldier Serum. I thought I was the only one after Steve…” He froze at the blonde’s mention, giving you a side-eyed glance. You nudged him, silently telling him to continue, that it was okay to talk about him. “And Sam’s right, you know. She’s just a kid. So…I dunno. I wanna help. I wanna do something right. And catching them would help. It’s right. Right?”

You nodded firmly. “I understand where they’re coming from. Karli’s just trying to help the world. But she’s doing it wrong. And that I know for absolute certainty. Which is good, I guess. I was talking to Sam early and I mentioned not knowing my right from my left recently. It’s good I know something, huh? And for you it should be easy telling your right from your left.” You joked, tracing the gold lines on his metal arm. “I guess you’re just gonna have to stay besides me to help me remember.”

Looking up, you found Bucky staring at you with something you recognized in his eyes, but didn’t want to name. “Three hours, forty two minutes and thirty one seconds.”

“What?”

“That’s how long I didn’t talk to you. It was too long.”

You sighed, ducking your head. “Bucky, I’m sorry-”

“I’m sorry. For anything and everything I’ve ever done wrong. I won’t mention the plane or anything we’ve talked about until you bring it up first. I promise. Just…just don’t ignore me anymore? I'm not sure I can handle it for much longer.”

You nodded, watching your fingertips dance along his scruffy jaw. “I won’t.” He caught your wrist, opening his mouth, before shaking his head and closing it. “What?”

He shook his head again. “Not until you bring it up.”

“We will talk, James. I promise.”

“You don’t have to explain. I get it. I really do. It’s okay. As long as we’re okay for right now, I can hold it in a bit longer.”

You nearly asked him what he was holding in, but you quickly shoved the question out of your mind, knowing it would take you down a conversation you couldn’t possibly have right then. “How long do you think we have?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. Zemo just said that it’s this afternoon. Why?”

“I started reading The Great Gatsby on the plane. I’ve got it on my phone. It kinda reminds me of you. Do you-do you think we have time to read some? Only if you want, I mean. Like we used to do in Wakanda?”

He grinned and nodded, scooting up on the bed and flopping down into the pillows. You smiled back, following his lead. Once you were comfortable, your phone out with the chapter you were on, Bucky scooted closer, laying his head on your stomach, hugging your waist. 

“Is this okay?”

Your fingers found home in his hair and you nodded when he looked up at you for an answer. “Yeah. It’s perfect, Buckaroo.”