#and i have to be the one to be like 'remember that my id has an f on it' and theyre like :0 ....... >:0!!!!

[marsdql]

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ p. childhood boyfriend!sim jaeyun ⤫ 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳﹒wc: 9.2к﹒g. romantic drama, emotional romance, angst, slowburn, light fluff﹒cw. emotional distress, ghosting and abandonment, suidical thoughts, mental health struggles, manipulation, past trauma, reconciliation and healing, triggers of emotional abuse, toxicity, high levels of angst and emotional intensity, mild references to past toxic relationships. @wheretheheckis-ssaki

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ synopsis ﹒During middle school, you and a boy in your friend’s class—named Sim Jaeyun—were inseparable, you both had your own friendg roup, he was a popular guy on the soccer team while you were a normal girl, yet would talk to each other on the phone everyday the second the bell rang. You both eventually fell for each other but had to keep your relationship private due to drama with girls. A year later—after everyone found out about you guys, he unexpectedly distanced—then disappeared. 10 years later, when you move to France for a few weeks due to a project in uni, you and Jake cross paths once again. (NOT PROOFREAD)

Sim Jaeyun, he was the best boyfriend I could ever think of having, he was my first love, definitely. It started in the seventh grade, when he was in class 7G—the same class as my friends. I remember when my bestfriend first told me about how he’d catch people playing Roblox in class and signal it to the entire class—that’s when I started teasing him—he was my best friends locker buddy, so I’d see him everyday.

Everytime id see him—when he would be arguing about something stupid with his classmates, I’ll snarl at him, “shut up Jake! Go play your Roblox!”. For some odd reason, he was REALLY talkative, but the second I’d say that, he’d just shut up. He’d smile at me and continue packing his things to get to the bus, forgetting about the entire conversation he had with the people next to him.

Until one day, another normal day of me telling him the same line, he actually responded this time. ‘How about you go play Roblox, huh?’ He said. ‘Okay, I will then, make sure you join me in jayjay simulator!!!’ I replied—I don’t know why I said “jayjay”, it just came out—soon enough, that would be the name all the girls would start calling him—because of me. As I walked away with my bestfriend—heading to the bus, I whispered to her, “hey, you know, Jake is kinda cute.”

— rest below cut ! —

Later that day, I decided to add him on my phone, message him—tease him a little bit more, he was funny—his reactions. He wasn’t like other boys, when you’d argue with him, he’d do it in a goofy way, he wouldn’t say actual harmful stuff—not to me Atleast.

- Jake: who is this?

- You: You didn’t join me in jayjay simulator. :(

- Jake: Hehe, yes I did!!!

He was so cute, even his messages were adorable. Whenever I’d playfully roleplay and fake random situations, people would call me childish, but with him, he’d play along, fully convincing eachother that everything we said was real.

I was determined to talk to this guy everyday, I’d find a random topic that has been spreading around our grade so that everyday, after school, I’d message him, using it as an excuse to talk to him. And it worked! I noticed that he’d even find some stuff too, so that he could message me. Once, he asked me for anime recommendations even though everyone knows him and his friendgroup hated anime, they made fun of it—except for blue lock of course—since it’s football related.

During my pe class, his friends that were in my class were destroying me in badminton—they weren’t that good…..but I just sucked at the sport! He peeked in, hoping to waste time from his class, and I screamed “Jake!!! Help me, your friends are bullying me…”

he was such a nice person to me, I’d tease him and say that he was rude in order to keep talking to him—in my mind, if I was accusing him of something, it’d be another reason for him to keep responding to me— and of course, it worked, I’m just a genius.

We were genuinely so funny, we both wanted to talk to eachother whenever we had the chance, but didn’t know how. Our biggest highlight was when we’d send random emojis to eachother for 4 hours straight just because we had no conversation anymore.

On February 14th, at the valentines dance, we were pressured to hug by the crowd. At this point, I had the biggest crush on him but nobody knew. Since he was popular and quiet talk compared to the other boys(puberty hit him the earliest), most of my friends fancied him. I was stuck, how could I tell my friends that I liked him first, when I never told them? Anyway, we didn’t hug, we’re both so awkward and to be honest, I’m glad we didn’t, it’s too cringe hugging like that!

When we got home, he messaged me, telling me he’s sorry he didn’t hug me because….. his teacher was watching and didn’t want him to tell his parents??? What a stupid excuse… That’s not the point, Y/n get back into the topic! I don’t remember how we got to the conversation but we were talking about crushes, who we liked. I kid you not, it took us 3 hours to confess, and it was so obvious we were saying we liked each other! We kept asking each other for hints, obvious ones. But eventually, we both said each others name at the same time. I remember so vividly that I was playing cards with my brother, unable to focus because of the joy I was feeling after reading my name pop up.

Now that I look back at it, I realize how mature we were for our age, even though we confessed, we didn’t do anything about it, we didn’t start dating or anything—just got really awkward, stopped talking in real life after that…

Fast forward the summer of 7th grade, when we got together July 2nd at 2am. To be honest, it wasn’t the way I expected it to be.

A girl from my grade messaged me:

- g/n: Hey! You’re close to Jake, right?

- You: Hi g/n! And yeah, I am, why?

- g/n: well… me and him have been messaging for 2 weeks now and I kinda like him. I was hoping you’d help me?

I beg your pardon? Me? Help you? I don’t even know this girl, all I knew was that she was some popular girl in a big friendgroup. That friendgroup was always around jake’s, they craved their attention so much—it disgusted me. But, it’s not like he’s my boyfriend, who am I to say no, maybe he likes her.

I helped her that entire night—telling her to text him certain things that only I knew he’d enjoy. They started doing the same thing me and him did on Valentine’s Day, guessing each other’s crushes, it took me aback, I self sabotaged myself—for no reason at all. During all of it, he was messaging me at the same time, acting a sweet to me. For no reason at all, he sent me this out of context message, “Y/n, I enjoy messaging you a lot.” Seconds later,

- g/n: He was taking too long to tell me his crush so I just told him I like him and asked if he wants to get together!

What? Did I just read that right… I acted as if I didn’t see her message and went to respond to jake’s instead. “Oh really?” I questioned him, my heart was beating so fast at this point, I didn’t know what was going to happen, it has been months and we’re still in a talking stage, surely he wouldn’t get with a girl he started talking to just 2 weeks ago, right? That’s what I thought until another message popped up.

- g/n: GIRL OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU HE JUST SAID YES OMGOMG.

the second she said that, he responded to me, “yeah, I really do, you’re my favourite person to talk to.” Oh heck no. I’m hysterically sobbing—what the hell?

Okay I can’t do this deep detail stuff, fast forward again—he told me and the girl goodnight—well actually, he only told the girl goodnight, I’m the one who told him goodnight before he could say anything else because I was so close to blocking him. But, I couldn’t hold it in, I had to confront him.

- You: Jake, I know you’re not asleep, respond

- Jake: What’s up?

- You: Tell me now, who’s your crush?

- Jake: you already know who

- You: no I don’t, who is it

- Jake: you

- You: then why did you just ask out g/n?

- Jake: who told you

- You: it doesn’t matter who told me, answer me.

- Jake: I promise you I’ll tell you when you tell me who told you

I tried so hard to keep my composure, but I told him everything. Then, I asked him politely, “who do you want? Me or g/n?” no intention in making him choose between us, I genuinely wanted to know because I didn’t want to be lead on if he liked g/n—and I didn’t want g/n to be lead on in this relationship if he liked me. I never made him choose between us, I simply asked him who he liked because he just agreed to dating a girl 2 hours ago and is now telling me he likes me, anyone in my situation would’ve done that, right?

- Jake: you I pick you

- Jake: I want you

- Jake: I’m so sorry I was just desperate for someone and I thought you liked one of my friends at this point, I was so desperate I just agreed to her.

We got together right after he broke up with her the following morning—maybe it was kind of stupid of us to do it so soon, but we were both waiting in eachother since the day we confessed all those months ago, it was summer, everything felt right, we had a huge conversation that night and talked about eachother and all our hidden secrets til 4am. In that conversation, we also made it clear that we would keep our relationship private because he had friends who liked me and I also had multiple who liked him.

Riingg ! — back into reality.

8:00am, you get up, brush your teeth, and your hair, wear a basic outfit you barely looked at before picking, and walk to the train station—waiting a few minutes for it to arrive.

There goes your alarm, woah, you just experienced your entire love story with Jake again, in a dream—you almost thought it was real. You're now 22, can’t believe that all happend 10 years ago. It feels as if it happend yesterday. Although, a lot has changed since then, You're not the same as before, you arent in middle school, or high school at all—but rather studying medicine in one of your dream universities. Your personality has changed a lot, the way you act has matured a lot aswell—you now know that you don’t need to be a brat in order to get people’s attention, hah…

Although your life has changed, the place to where your mind wanders hasn’t. You still remember the time you and Jake risked a day to go on a field trip downtown to a haunted house in the 8th grade—right after summer. You remember all the stares you got as you walked together—not even holding hands or anything, just simply walking. Everyone would ship you guys together—yet got so mad when they suspected that you two were dating.

A few days—not even—a few hours after the field trip, pictures of me and him were spreader everywhere. I was officially done for. My friends had left me a little before it all, I was already dealing with that loss—and now, I had to deal with the entire population of girls in my grade hating on me—simply for hanging out with a friend everyone knew I was close to.

I just didn’t get it. Everyone would ship us, everyone knew we were close, we didn’t even kiss—or hold hands—or hug—or anything! Why did everyone get so mad? They didn’t know or get the confirmation that we were dating—so why did I get ignored by everyone so secretively? Nobody talked to me about it, rumours spread about me and only me—about Jake—just me. The worse thing was, I didn’t have a say in anything. Nobody could say anything to my face, it was all behind my back, nobody dared to say anything while I was around, I never found out what they said—only small details of my last remaining friends that would overhear small stuff from crowds.

That’s basically how my entire 8th grade was like. I know some people would see it as a compliment that nobody could say anything to my friend—not even humiliate or bully me for it, but I felt as if it was the biggest curse ever. I never had a chance to speak about it, talk my feelings.

The worse part is—Jake said it was going to be okay, he didn’t care about what people thought about us. But just a month after the entire incident—he ghosted me for two weeks, came back to say sorry then did it again for two weeks. Then, it became a month and came back later to talk about how he was moving to France at the end of the year. I knew about it already, I was the only person he told, but it felt so much wise because he was talking about it during a period where he was just constantly ghosting me.

It was soon going to be his birthday so I decided to send him a huge paragraph:

I’ve deleted every single person off my Snapchat to make sure we keep that “you and Jake have been each other's number one best friend for 2 months!” Even though it’s been almost a year since we had it, you know it only changes from 2 weeks, 2 months and two years. Yet still, you lost it. So so busy of you to lose that feature, texting someone else. I saw you online for a good 3 hours. How are you busy?

I said I don’t mind if you’re busy because we each have our own lives, but you’re completely ghosting me.

I can’t take a single apology from you anymore it makes me even more angry and frustrated I hate how much you take advantage of me because you know I’ll be the first to say “it’s alright” or “don’t think about it too much, I forgive you” and completely forget about every single breakdown I’ve had because of you.

I hate all of your sorry messages I hate the way I felt so happy each time you apologize even though you never changed, I hate when I begged you to stop calling you a bad boyfriend even though you are not only a bad boyfriend but the worst newest person that entered my life, I hate how much I can’t stop loving you despite all of the pain and hatred I’m getting from you, I hate how much I miss the times you were actually excited to text me, I hate it when I actually believed that you’d love me forever, I hate it when we talked about our future together and how we both prayed to be soulmates, I hate how you’re always the first thing that comes to mind when I wake up, do something, cry, laugh, lay down, work, and every single other thing I do in my life. I hate how much I love you more than you love me and I hate even more how much I’m aware of it. I hate the night you killed me inside and still found a way to make me happy in the end with your tricks. I hate how happy you look in real life when I see you with your friends knowing I have one friend and always have to plan ahead if she’s not here, how I have problems with everyone and even that current friend I’m not happy around, compared to you and your amazing friend group where everyone loves you and you love them.

I hate how you still manage to have a smile on your face even when we’re not texting. I don’t understand how much I hate you right now but it’s not hate as in how much I hate my old friends, it’s a hate of sadness and of “how could you do this to me” hate. I hate you so much I can’t get rid of you. I love you too much and that’s why I hate you. I hope to one day look back at my 8th grade and hopefully say that all this pain was all worth it in the end because I’ve ruined my childhood so much 7-8th grade because of you.

Tomorrow January 12 2024 will be the day me and you met last year. We’ve known each other for a year. Why does it feel like I’ve known you my whole life and I’ve felt miserable since birth? I can't do this anymore.

I wish I could be as happy as you when you’re with your friends, I wish I could be as careless as you, I wish I could go months without texting their partner just like you, I wish I didn’t need to worry if someone’s going to leave me or not, I wish I could have peace and calmness in my life, I wish I had friends I actually enjoyed, I wish I didn’t need to feel so lonely all the time, I wish I didn’t have to look down whenever I see you in the hallways so that I don’t embarrass myself, I wish I wasn’t always so angry, I wish I didn’t care so much about everything, I wish I wasn’t sensitive, I wish I was crying right now, I wish I could leave and forget everyone I met last and this year including you, I wish I didn’t start talking to you, I wish I was your first and only option, I wish I didn’t think of you everytime a song came up, I wish I didn’t think of you when I see something that I know you like, I wish I could find an end to all the things that come up to mind that don’t stop flowing when I’m writting these, I wish I didn’t waste all that money on you, I wish that Snapstreak I paid back for because you lost it, wasn’t lost again because you just didn’t feel like doing it anymore, I wish I didn’t cry to sad songs because they remind me of you, I wish I didn’t see myself in every mentally unstable situation, I wish I could go to sleep peacefully, I wish you were there when I needed you most, I wish you felt the way I felt, I wish you experienced the stuff I went through, I wish you could understand how I feel, I wish you would listen to me for once, I wish you’d understand the things I feel, I wish you knew how much I’m hurting, I wish I could tell someone about all my problems without feeling guilty afterwards, I wish I could shut my mouth up and stop talking so much especially when nobody enjoys it, I wish you’d snap-text me the way we used to, I wish you’d randomly tell me how much you love me like before, i wish you would beg me for forgiveness when you’d forget to reply for like 5 mins unlike how you leave me on delivered on purpose for 2 days now, I wish you felt grateful for me still being here, I wish I could move places and forget everything, I wish my sins weren’t all on my back even though I’m trying to move on, i wish I could move on from you, I wish I could forget about you the way you so easily forgot about me, I wish I could go to sleep without crying, I wish I could stop listening to my thoughts, I wish everyone would like me like you, I wish you’d understand everything and everyone I lost because I was with you, I wish you’d see how much people hate me because I’m with you and they were jealous, I wish you realize that i didn't care about how I have no friends because I knew I’d be able to talk to u when I get back home, that’s why I’m hurting so much now.

I wish you could ignore the girls that try to hit you up, just like how I do with the boys that simply want to be my friend, I wish you understood how stupidly I miss you, I wish you could treat me how I wish a man could treat me, I wish you’d never leave to France, I wish you never find a new person in France, I wish you’d understand how I can’t live without you anymore and it’s all your fault, I wish you’d see and understand that I feel so worried because I don’t want to lose you, I wish you’d comprehend that I wouldn’t get jealous for no reason and that I was overprotective but rather that you’re my first love and I’m scared of losing you, I wish you’d understand how much I try to talk to you and be around you, I wish you know and see how I finish all my work early or do it later just to try and be able to talk to you as much as I can, I wish you’d know how I’m writing all of this right now instead of revising for my test tomorrow. I wish I wouldn’t feel so tired after crying about you for just a few minutes, I wish my eyes weren’t always heavy because of you and crying because of you, I wish I could stop loving you forever.

Happy birthday Jake! Whenever I write ur name it always pops up as “JAKEEE” and it might sound stupid but I smile everytime I see it. I’m writing this at 11:19pm, on a day where you’re ghosting me, again for the second time. I don’t know what’s the reason this time, knowing you couldn’t keep your promise of not doing it again that you said not even a week ago.

I hope you’re aware I’m not stupid, I see when you’re online, I know you’ve left me on delivery for two days on purpose. When I said I don’t know about your reason “this time”, I in fact don’t know a lot of things that you do. When you’re in trouble I know you go on your phone for a couple minutes, you just decide to not even check up on me with that time. It sounds pathetic and unimportant but in my point of view it’s the most gut wrenching thing to know because I would, without a doubt, pick you out of everyone to talk to if I was going to die and had one last chance to talk to someone.

I’m typing all of this and I’m not even sure if we’ll make it till your birthday but, I’ve decided to completely forget about you when it hits 2024 if you still kept ghosting me because I wanna turn into a new person and throw away my past and all my old mistakes behind me that have been affecting my present. I try so hard to give myself excuses about you not texting, maybe you’re doing something with your parents like you said you were doing, maybe it was a surprise trip! But then I think more and realize that if you wanted to text me and say why you couldn’t text, you would’ve and if you couldn’t, you would’ve tried.

I hate how much I love you and I hate how much I’m aware that you don’t love me the same amount. My December is the absolute definition of “Hell”. I decided to wait for winter break to talk to you all about it and make myself better. What a fool I was for waiting and thinking you’d still text me the same. I hate how we text now, I don’t care about anything I just wanna feel special texting you the way we used to.

When I used to always tell you how tired I am based on how tired you are(like when you weren't tired and I was, I’d lie and say I wasn’t either, don’t know if you know what I’m talking about) I’d say it because I know myself, I know how if you were sad I’d be sad, if you’re happy I’m happy, when you’re not around I’m sad and when you’re around I’m happy.

You don’t understand the times I Thanked god each time you texted me back, even when it turned into an argument. I rather argue with you instead of no contact. That's how much I enjoy texting you. No matter how much I’ve cried and felt miserable being with you at times, I can’t seem to let you go. No matter how many boys that have liked me and I’ve never told you about, I decided to ignore and move on with my life. No matter how handsome they were, I myself don't understand why I see something in you that I don’t see with anyone else. Not being able to let you go is what kills me and I physically cannot live without you.

I can’t live a few hours without you, especially when I don't know the reason why you’re gone. When you told me you leave the people you don’t like texting on delivery, you told me that February 2023, a few days before the Valentine’s dance. If I told my February 2023 self that I’d be one of those people you keep on delivering, I’d laugh and start talking about how you’re such an amazing person.

And what’s worse is, I still laugh at myself and talk the best about you, even when I know deep down all the things I would rather swallow glass than go through again when I was with you.

I remember all our memories like it was yesterday, Jan 12, the first conversation when I added you on discord and you asked me “who is this” and i replied with “why didn’t you join me in nana simulator”. That day when going in the bus I told ____ “hey that Jake guy is kinda cute” but didn’t think it would get this far.

The time you made that stupid lie about not hugging me because mister ____ was there and u didn’t want ur parents to know.. I knew it was a lie, and I wasn’t upset that you didn’t hug me, I was uncomfortable as well at that moment, I was upset because someone hit me.

The night you got with g/n that was the same night you got with me. Every single conversation we had I remember it, even the stupid moment when you said you only liked g/n 40%. You say a lot of stupid things that turn out funny, that’s why I try to make myself feel better thinking you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me, but I forget that you’re not a child and you know everything you do.

I seriously wish I was lying when I say I never cried this much in my life except when I met you, even now. Right now, you’re even active on Instagram and of course I’m still on delivery. I’ve never felt so pathetic and embarrassed in my life, just looking at that “delivered 2D” thing on ur name. How I watched your name go from “jake” to “Jake❤️” to “jaeyun” to “j” to your original name on snap that you have on default. “⚽️”.

I love you so much that even my mother loves you. Whenever you weren’t texting me (practically the entire December), my mother would ask me about you a lot, I knew she loved you so much and I didn’t want you to have a bad look to my mother so I’d lie to her for you and tell her that you just texted me that you couldn’t text and whenever she’d ask me again, I’d tell her that you were saying the truth and u haven’t went online ever since, even though I knew that you were online half of the time.

I’ve tried seeing you all the time at school just to look at you and act if we are still texting, even if it meant crying a bit in class while thinking about you because I was left without explanation and you always look so happy, despite my absence in your life.

I keep lying to myself and saying that you mean the words you say to me but I know you don’t try to see me in every person you come across the same way I do, you don’t think of me the second you wake up at night the way I do, you would never look for me In a room full of girls.

I wake up from dreams in the middle of the night and even if it was a nightmare my first thought would be you, even if most likely the nightmare would have something to do with you. When my phone is next to me and I wake up, the first thing I do is put my phone down and in my head I say “please say you texted” knowing that each time it’s never you. I go back to sleep and wait for a message knowing I’d never wake up again if it were the case. I say I wish you could communicate more so I could understand how much you love me but, do you not love me as much because you lack communication or do you lack communication because you don’t love me as much.?

I don’t really know how this happy birthday thing turned into a whole story about my love life with you and how miserable I’ve been ever since school started again. It’s 2:01am now and I just can’t seem to fall asleep when you’re on my mind. My head hurts thinking so much about you, my head goes dizzy and my eyes start to pump as if they have their own heartbeat, disgusting..

I love you so much I wish I could forget about you for my own well being.

7 snaps in the morning, none of them are you. So many boys on my phone yet you're still the only one I wish would text me. My head knows ur bad for me but my heart doesn’t wanna leave you, I’m scared of losing every opportunity of being able to be with you, but I guess I’m just wasting that time with my own well being.

3 days doesn't sound like a lot but when you’re always online and ignoring me on purpose, it sure is a long time. I wish I could leave you on delivery for that long. I tried to ignore you a few times but I couldn’t last more than 4 minutes. It hurts how much we are different in this relationship and how much love is we feel is unequal

I tried as much as I could to keep you as my number one best friend on snap. I told my entire best friend list that I couldn’t talk so that nobody would go up, and it still managed to get ruined. Lina spent her days spamming me and making me reply to stories she posts so that she could take the number one best friend list on my list, and it worked. I doubt I was still yours anyway.

I tried as much as I could to keep you as my number one best friend on snap. I told my entire best friend list that I couldn’t talk so that nobody would go up, and it still managed to get ruined. Lina spent her days spamming me and making me reply to stories she posts so that she could take the number one best friend list on my list, and it worked. I doubt I was still yours anyway.

It’s funny because it’s news years and 2 years ago, this was the day i met the online friend who left me.

The one I was attached with for 2 years and ruined my entire mental health throughout 6 and 7th grade. The one that YOU replaced. The one I talked about for hours with you on TikTok, the one I told you I would tell everything and ever since he left, you were the new person I started acting as if it was him.

That guy, that nasty guy I was best friends with, blocked me for fun and ghosted me just to see me suffer without him, and you’re just repeating all of it.

I know you’re never going to message me, yet I realize I keep checking my lock screen every 5 minutes, your Instagram status, your reposts, your snap score, everything. I keep myself on not disturb but keep checking to hope that maybe, just maybe, you would’ve decided to check my messages and reply.

If I knew that night was gonna be the last time we were gonna talk to each other, I would’ve listened to my gut and begged you to stay. I’ve repeated many things, this entire “paragraph”(more like a book lol.) is in scrabbles because I don’t know how to explain myself, I write so much each time and just keep feeling the same, no happiness.

I know I said if you don’t text before it hits 2024, I’d forget you and erase you from my life because I’m trying to change, but the truth is, I’m sure that even if you text me after, I’d reply the second I see your name. Although I might be still a little too confident thinking you’d text at all. I don’t want to leave you, even when I know it’s better for me. I want to text you “I wanna break up” so you could make some sense when you’re half swiping my message and quickly reply, but I’m scared that you wouldn’t question it and instead just say okay and leave for good.

I hate always being the one that gets attached in relationships, especially when the other isn’t.

I hate how when you came back after ghosting me for 2 weeks before ghosting me again this time, you were acting as if you were embarrassed and very guilty about what you did, you made me feel bad for you. While I was the one suffering and crying every chance I got, I was the one comforting you. “You don’t need to say sorry, I knew you wouldn’t do this without a reason, I know you wouldn’t mean it.

Even before you came back and said sorry, I had forgiven you. I just want you to focus on yourself but please, communicate with me next time, I’ll understand you.” Those were the words I told you. Why can’t anyone comfort me the same way I comfort people? Why were those the words I wanted to hear? Why are you, the one who makes me smile and who makes me wanna die as well, why are you the only reason I wanna keep living? Why do I see my life only as Important because I know if I died I wouldn’t be able to text you anymore?

I see you use Snapchat by your snap score going up, gosh it feels so pathetic to know I’m still on delivered. Stop doing this to me please I beg you it hurts too much I can’t handle any of it anymore. My eyes are constantly stinging and it hurts so much, I don’t deserve this, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy, with me, not at the look of me going crazy over you not texting me. I’ve been crying for hours and usually I’d run out of tears to cry, why is it that I keep gaining more this time?

Oh please, come back to me, I bear seeing anyone else with you. Our stupid conversations about getting married and lasting forever with eachother, why have you forgotten all of it?

I would’ve never thought i'd feel this way, i thought I loved my life and the only stress I had was school, why am I on winter break and going absolutely insane in the bathroom and in my room over a person like you.

I would’ve never thought id ever wanna die, why do I feel like it’s my only option to peace right now? Suicidal? No way! But I seriously can’t escape from the thought of you, I need you out of my life, but that would be worse, I just wish I never met you, that’s also a lie. I wish you never changed, I miss the times you would care about how I felt.

This month, December, is my worst year. I needed you most at this time, why did you make it harder for me, purposely? Remember when you got mad at me for playing with ___? Haha I was so sad you were ignoring me again and you admitted you didn’t wanna talk, I loved how overprotective you were acting, but why were you jealous about him when he treats me better than you? Why do I love you more than someone who treats me so much better?.

Wow, when I finished writing that, you checked my message. Dec 31 7:14. Opened. Let me guess, you’re gonna start apologizing “MY BAD MY MAD IM SO SORRY I GOT IN TROUBLE.”

And would you look at that, I wrote in my notes app:

Yup, just as a I thought, Jake: MB MY PARENTS TOOK MY PHONE. I sent this to him, all he had to say was he needed time alone and said “see u” when I said “byeee” what the hell. If I killed myself it wouldn’t be enough for this man..??? He doesn’t text me properly for almost a month and he needs TIME ALONE??? Ugh! Happy new years! I told him happy new years on 12 exactly and all he said was “thanks u to” and I said I was gonna become nicer and he said “cool” so I’m going to be straight up with him and ask if we are breaking up. I don’t wanna wait anymore t’il HE'S READY. All he said was no. Wth — His last words were; I love you so much, I'm sorry, I'll message you when i get the chance.

It’s safe to say, I really was going insane. He never texted me again in 8th grade after that—until, the summer before 9th grade. I remember how he asked if we could talk when I have time, he was in France by now by the way. I told him that I was surprised that I’m hearing him again, and said sure. All he had to say was, “I’m sorry for everything I did, I’m sorry for ghosting you and all, I was really going through it” I beg your pardon?

That’s all he wanted to talk about? Quickly, I respond with:

- you: No, Jake. I want to know what happend , why did you do that?

- Jake: I promise you, It was personal problems y/n

He was so stubborn, I know it wasn’t the reason, we would go through things but we’d go through them together—not the way he did it. But, i always saw the good in him, even in that moment, i wasn’t angry at him. When I was with him, he was amazing—so I always wanted to keep that image of him and not swifch up so quickly just because he ghosted me for practically a year now. But still, i had to do what I had to do so—I asked him the big question:

- You: you know, we never properly broke up, so, what is it? Do u still like me? You haven’t talked to me in forever, you’re supposed to answer this.

- Jake: you first

Not this again.

- you: Jake no. You’re the one who left so you’re the one who answers it.

- Jake: no no just please you first

- You: Jake. What do you want from me? opened.

There he goes again, that was for real the last message. I never heard from him again-

“next stop, _____ university” —

There’s the train—perfect timing.

Today’s a weird day—maybe because it’s snowing, maybe because its the month he first started acting weird. Usually, you think of him before bed, not during the entire morning… You miss him, it’s been a while—You still wonder where he is now.

Sometimes, you wonder if you should drop out of university and become a famous model—maybe then he could recognise you and reach out.

You can barely remember his voice, you lost all my old videos from before you even started texting—those were the times you actually heard him speak, the rest was small talk and then completely no contact. Even when you guys were dating, you never spoke in real life—too scared and nervous.

You're finaly off the train—heading to class now, exams are coming up. You never got to experience it with Jake since he left to go to high-school in France, did I mention that already? You say to yourself. Actually, he had never removed his name from your school so when you had attendance on the first day of nineth grade, he was called in every single one of your classes. What a coincidence, you had never gotten in the same class for two years but then could’ve got all your first semester classes with him if he hadn’t left—what a way to play with your reason to live.

University isn’t like highschool anymore—it’s quieter, people are more focused on themselves than things that people have to say about eachother. You have a small group of friends that you met In highschool, you're glad you're still in touch despite how many years it’s been.

9:09am—huh??? Your class starts in a minute, shoot!

You dont know why you rushed to get to class so quickly… it’s too boring, You're bout to fall asleep. As you were about to lay your head on the desk and doze off—you heard your professor mutter something a little interesting for once.

“Okay students, this doesn’t have to do with our major but the board entered my name to do a small project out of context. Today, and for the following month, there will be 15 people from this class and the class that starts in 2 hours who will travel abroad—more specifically to France-“

That’s all you needed to hear—you didn’t care about the rest, you heard France and knew that you were going to be participating in this activity. It’ll be fun, you say, i'll get to experience how Jake lived in France, you say. You say it all, with no intentions of actually meeting Jake. You just wanted to experience what he experienced, maybe it'd make you feel a little closer to him. Like always, you made everything in your life, about him. It’s like he was famous in your mind.

You needed a break from your current place anyway, everything was all over the place, you felt as if you’ve been living the same days over and over again. Maybe this was an opportunity to change things a bit—get you out of your comfort zone.

You signed up so quickly to the program my teacher talked about a few days ago. You already found a roommate to stay with for the time you'll be staying there.

The guy you arranged to live with was a little bit younger than you, but you didn’t mind—you just needed a place to stay for a bit. You soon learned that he goes to the same university that you’ll be studying in, which is nice—you’ll have someone to help you around everything.

You’re counting the days until you leave—you called with the roommate and found out a few extra things about him. His name was ni-ki, he was also a foreigner except he’s permanently staying there. He’s in the same major as you and as you exchanged schedules, you saw that you guys had 2/4 classes together—that’s nice, already got a buddy to be with for half of your classes!

You're now in France, heading to your apartment—ready to meet Ni-ki. Right before you can manage to knock, he opens the door—as if he was waiting for you by the door. "Hey," he speaks, his voice low and deep. He was tall and slim—it reminded you of Jake. You don't know how he looks like anymore, you haven't in a while. The last time you saw him, he was tall, above all the boys in your grade, you don't know anything about him anymore actually.

Before you could continue being lost in thought, Ni-ki speaks up once again. "How about you go get some rest, you look tired. You can tell me about your trip in the morning. Sounds good?" You nod, you were exhausted, the trip was long and you could barely close your eyes in the plane.

'Oh and, y/n, by the way, i'll invite some friends over for a bit, if that's alright with you?' 'yeah that's fine don't worry, I bet you i'll be so deep in sleep that I wouldn't even wake up if you guys bomb the place.' What a lie. You couldn't fall asleep at all.

right as you thought you were going to fall asleep, you heard the door burst open, the people Ni-ki invited finally arrived. You could hear like—five people? Oh wait—no—a sixth one—who.. Sounded a lot like—Jake.

You couldn't remember his voice but when you heard something like him—you just knew. What a great discovery, even if you were going to finally get some sleep—you definitely aren't now. You sat in the bed you were assigned to sleep in, listening to the boys downstairs chatting—the guy who sounded like Jake wasn't really talkative, maybe its not him—actually, you're sure its not him—you're just eavesdropping so that you could pretending that you're listening to Jake's voice.

In the morning, Ni-ki had to wake you up for your class because you were still used to your old timezone. 'y/n... we have class in like 30 minutes...' 'Five more minutes... Get off of me, let me sleep!' 'I'll rip up all your clothes if you don't get up.' 'What? What! Okay, okay I'm up!'

You both ran to class, your apartment wasn't on campus but it was still close. You were introduced to the first two classes with Ni-ki by your side, you followed him everywhere for those first two periods—but now, you two next are alone—and you have no idea where to go.

Luckily, you spotted one of your teachers from your morning classes, they had to go fill out some papers and correct tests so they couldn't give you a tour of the school—but guided you to Ni-ki's class so that he could be excused out of his class and help you.

You walked into his class behind your teacher, not bothering to look at anyone to try and find him—too scared you'll make awkward eye contact with anyone who isn't him.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your lesson, Chanelle, but could we please steal your student Nishimura Riki for a period? We have a new foreign student who knows him and needs a tour of campus." Your teacher said to the one who was currently teaching Ni-ki's class. "Oh why of course, and don't apologise, i needed this few second break..." She responded. "Nishimura, get down here"

As she called him over, you follower her eyes—trying to spot Ni-ki. Then, you found him, laying back on a chair with his feet on the table, surrounded by 6 boys—probably the ones from yesterday.

'Hey ni-ki, whos that girl next to the teacher? You know her?' The purple haired boy asked. Just as you were going to smile and wave at him, your eyes spotted one of the boys who stood out a bit brighter than the rest—due to his immersive stare at you. Jake. There he was. Yes you haven't seen him in a while, but those eyes never change. it really was him—right infront of you. It was Jake.

You didn't utter a single word—turning quickly and just waiting for ni-ki to get down. You always imagined what you'd do when you saw him again—you just didn't expect it ever to be like this.

In the afternoon, after both you and ni-ki got back to your apartment. You built up the courage to ask him, 'Hey, ni-ki, who were those boys you were with when I came into your class searching for you?' 'Oh them, those are my best friends. Heeseung, the purple haired one you heard, Jay, Sunghoon, Sunoo, Jungwon and Jake. We've been friends ever since i got here, but they've been childhood friends since they were little—except Jake, he came during highschool, but that's still a while ago! Y/n? Are you listening-' 'Yes! Yes! I am indeed!' 'Oh okay, well yeah. Actually, they're coming over again—i'll properly introduce you to them then!'

Excuse you? Coming over? Again? How many times do these boys come over? They just visited yesterday... "Again?" you spoke, voice a little lower than you hoped it'd be. "Yeah, they come over all the time, you'll love them, trust me!" He said, love filled in his eyes as he spoke about his friends—completely unaware of what you were currently thinking.

Minutes passed and suddenly, the doorbell rang. You instinctively froze, Ni-ki jogged to go get the door, leaving you in the living room alone, awkwardly waiting. "Guys, this is the girl from earlier, this is y/n, shes my roommate" One by one, they entered the room, you got up and kindly greeted all five of them—until it was turn for the sixth one who took a little longer to remove his coat after hearing ni-ki's words.

When it was Jake's turn, your heart sank, you looked at him from close up—he was different. His face had matured, his hair had thickened, He body looked a lot fuller and grown up than you last remember. A lot changed—but it was still so easy to tell it was him. Perfect nose, flawless face, the same eyes you fell in love with.

"Y/n?" Jake spoke, in a questioning tone, way lower than how he used to speak. You were surprised that he even said something, if you two were in 8th grade, he wouldn't even be able to look your way, head down as he walks past you to make it seem like he didn't see you—while you would stare at the lockers, the opposite direction of him. "Long time no see" was all you said, though your mind was saying alot more.

"You two know each other?" Jungwon asked as you both nodded. "What a small world!" Sunoo added.

The rest of the night was awkward, both you and Jake sneaking glances of each other, trying to admire everything that changed. We haven't seen each other in 10 years, It's normal. For a split second, you both had eye contact—his eyebrows lower than usual, his eyes in a weird shape, like if it was an apology.

He used to be so active, so energetic—but tonight, he was even quieter than when I heard him yesterday from upstairs.

Sunghoon and Heeseung requested to watch a movie. You tried distracting yourself by helping Jay pick out snacks from the pantry, but his gaze was burning you, you could feel it no matter what you do. All of a sudden, ni-ki requested Jake to go grab some drinks. As he walked past you to the fridge he whispered, "Y/n, can we talk?"

It was starting to get late, each member leaving, keeping you and Jake alone. You didn't want to talk in the apartment with ni-ki so you both requested going outside the apartment, take a little walk as you talk.

It reminded you of when you went on that field trip, walking downtown with lights everywhere, as if you were in a movie, as if the world was only you and him, nothing else mattered. After minutes of silence, he broke it, Jake finally spoke.

- I didnt expect to you again. He said

- I didnt either.

- I wanted to apologise for everything, I know i said that the last time we spoke, but i really mean it this time. I know that whatever the reason was, I should've never acted that way.

- But Jake, how many times have we been through this before? Its been 10 years and yet you still say the same thing. I don't even know why I'm still here, listening to you say all of this, even after all the time that passed.

- I know I was always wrong, i know. My parents forced me okay? They didn't think I'd be able to focus on my education if I kept talking to you. My graders were dropping and they thought it was because of you when really it was because i was fooling around with my friends. I know you asked me if it was because of my parents and I said no but I was just so scared I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to disrespect my parents either and tell you that they were telling me to leave you.

As you were trying to find the words to respond to him, he continued.

- I know i was a jerk, and i dont expect you to forgive me so easily especially that im saying all of this so late, I didnt know if you would want to ever see my face again anyway. I needed to say this all because i cant keep it in anymore.

At this point, he’s sobbing, unable to even walk anymore—he just sat there, on the side of the road. His hands covering his face and trying to wipe his tears as fast as he face—now, avoiding your gaze at all times.

You’ve never seen him like this, he never cried, never spoke about his feelings, he never thought he should because he wanted to look strong all the time. “okay Jake, I forgive you, I forgave you a long time ago, just please, get up Jake. Let’s go to your place, I can’t leave you like this, please.” You pleaded, feeling sorry for him. You knew he had a kind heart deep down despite everything, your heart ached at the scene in front of you.

You got to his place, helped him wash his face, his face flushed, embarrassed that he did all that after seeing you just once aft all those years. Everything was weird, despite the entire scene, everything was still unspoken, leaving plenty of things to discuss about.

As you sat him down on his couch, he said, "Y/n. I promise you for real this time, i'll tell you everything, I'll explain everything right now, I want to fix things even if it takes another 10 years to cure it all."

"Okay." you said, everything felt like the day you two confessed, explaining the unexplained, answering the questions you both were wondering about each other's actions back there.

Maybe it was going to take a while to get everything adjusted again, but you didn't mind, its not like you waited 10 years already, you know how to wait. None of that mattered right now, you were just relieved that finally—you have answers.

Maybe, it was worth it—having you famous in my mind.

[mothman-etd]

hello 👋🏼

first loving the twiyor 😌

second I have a tech question I was hoping you might be able and willing to answer: are the 'we send you a link to your email to log in instead of using your password' actually more secure or are businesses just being mean to me personally?

hope your day is kind 😊

Ok so Authentication (going to call it auth going forward) is a very large topic and there is some baseline info I want to convey before answering you question.

First, auth breaks down into 3 methods. Confirming what someone knows, confirming what someone has, confirming what someone is.

What you know: this is the traditional password method, do you remember your password you made for us? Do you remember your username? great you can get in if you know those. Stealing these creds is very straight forward, you either guess until you are right or you steal them from where someone has them stored/written down. This is why you should NEVER store your password in a browser and use a password manager instead. I would rather see people write passwords on post-it notes then store them in Google Chrome or Edge. Seriously, it is incredibly easy to steal passwords from Chrome.

What you have: have ever been asked to put an MFA pin into a phone app? that's this method, they are putting predictable generated numbers on your phone that you can then turn around and use to prove you are in physical possession of your phone. This is much more difficult to steal and usually requires physically accessing a phone or infecting it in some fashion to steal the generation algorithm. PS: If a site uses a text message instead of an app to send a pin that is less secure because SIM duplicating is easier then both the above methods for theft (i dont know the details on how to sim dup but I know no good security team takes sms pins seriously)

What you are: This is stuff like Apple's face id, windows hello, finger scan. Anything that is unique to your physical body that can be scanned to confirm who you are. This is either incredibly difficult or super easy to break depending on how the program is written. for example Face ID had an issue where it could not differentiate between particular ethnicities, also someone (the police) can just hold your phone up to force the unlock. This is usually a good method to use in conjunction with one of the others to make Auth more difficult.

So which one is better? Well each one has its pros and cons which means the most secure method is using more then one. This is called Multi Factor Authentication or MFA for short.

So lets go back to your question, is getting a login link more secure then say remembering a password. Well how secure is access to your email? if your email just requires a username and password to get into, then it is the same security level.

If you have your email setup with MFA where you need to password and pin into it then it is probably more secure then some random sites username password pair.

Also we need to ask questions about the links themselves, do you get the same link each time or is a new one created each request? How are they generated? how long until a link expires? is the link email sent via TLS? Which version of TLS? How are they stored or Are they stored? Is link generation predictable, if I had enough info could i just make my own links for any user?

Honestly I think the biggest benefit of this auth method happens on the website side and less the end user side. This requires less development to create, also they do not need to figure out how to store and keep your passwords, and if they get hacked there are no passwords to be stolen since they literally don't use them. Having passwords stolen is when law enforcement needs to get involved (Law enforcement needs to be contacted in the event any Personally Identifiable Information or PII is stolen). So if they do not use passwords that is one less PII they have in their possession.

Overall passwords are shit and anyone trying to make an effort to not use passwords or to not allow just passwords is at least making an effort to have a better security posture. But if it is actually more secure really depends, passwordless is new territory for a lot of people so its going to have growing pains.

hopefully this answers your question! if you want more clarification let me know.

Oh and Spy Family is life

[saiintvalentiine]

Hi Saiint! *heres a (virtual) dogfies plushie for you 

Could I get a apologetic Parrotx2… :3 like he finally realizes how mean and ignorant he has been to wifies sometimes and actually says sorry says that he cares about him,.. that dog deserves apology and comfort :(

sorry for holding ur request hostage this dogfies is just so stinkin cute that every time i opened my inbox id see him and get cuteness aggression :(((( sweetest baby ever............ set in the first war video when they talk on the stairs at around 25 mins!

Word count: 508

“I’m really sorry for everything I said,” Wifies says, wringing his hands together. “I want to help you again. I’m sorry for not understanding your point of view.”

The thing about anger is that it’s easy. It’s hot. It expands. It rises. It fills. The anger is there, Parrot could touch it, a weight that breathes like a wounded animal in his chest.

But he’s sick of blood and wounds and burning. He can see the red around Wifies’s nails despite the way he’s moving them. The darkness under his eyes.

It hurts. Parrot is tired of everything hurting. He’s tired of— of hurting everyone around him. For once, he’d like to actually fix something. Not patch it over, not help it escape its fate for only one more day, but fix it. He can fix this, them.

“I’m sorry too,” Parrot says. Wifies’s eyes flutter, uncertain, dodgy.

“What?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about how you felt either.”

It’s strange to see Wifies so still. He was all quick, small motions just a second ago, but it’s like Parrot’s dropped sand on his head.

“It’s— don’t worry about it. I was being inconsiderate.”

“So was I,” Parrot can’t stop himself from pacing, wings rustling. “The worst thing getting here was turning around expecting you to be there and nothing. It was awful. I kept thinking about how I had begun to rely on you being there with me.”

He drifts closer and closer to Wifies, who watches him with wide eyes. Is this such a surprise? Parrot can’t blame him. He can’t remember the last time they talked like this.

“But it was plenty of time and silence to think. I realize now that you care.”

“I do,” Wifies sounds more stressed than before, voice rising.

“And that what you did, what you said. . . it was because you care, and you were scared.”

“Terrified,” Wifies corrects. He starts to pick at his nail beds. “Parrot, I have so few people I’m close to in this life, and I don’t think I’ll be this lucky in the next. The idea of losing you terrifies me.”

There’s something unnerving about how Wifies says that, as if he’s resigned to loss but holding on anyway. He’s never been that much of a pessimist. Parrot reaches over and pries Wifies’s hands apart, holding them tight.

“You’re not going to lose me,” Parrot rubs his thumbs across the back of Wifies’s hands. They tremble in his grip, fine and shallow but trembling nonetheless. “You were trying to protect me. I’m sorry for not thinking of it that way.”

It’s easy to pull Wifies close and hug him. He curls up into Parrot instantly, breath puffing against Parrot’s throat as he presses close. Parrot’s wings rise around them, a second layer to keep prying eyes away. This is for them.

It doesn’t burn. It aches, but in a good way, the way a yellowed bruise does. Or maybe it doesn’t hurt at all, the way it was always meant to be between them.

[gogogoat495]

[ID: 1 - Text reading "Reynolds: I'll tell you one other thing about this story that nobody gets. One day, a friend of mine at the studio comes by pushing a two-wheel cart. It had three or four legal boxes on it. He goes, 'Okay, Reynolds, thanks for this.'

I go, 'What's that?'

He goes, 'This is the Groove, these boxes. This is everything you've written,' Anytime you write something and you hand it in, they stamp it and it goes into a box somewhere, because Disney owns it. It's like that last scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark. [Some time later,] the movie's out, and a guy knocks on my office door and says, 'Are you Dave Reynolds? I'm from archives. I just need the final script for Emperor's New Groove. They didn't send one down.'

I go, 'What's that?'

He goes, 'The final draft, the whole final script.'

I go, 'No script.'

He goes, 'There's no script? What are you talking about?'

I go, 'We don't have a script. We never wrote a script. We just made the movie.'

He goes, 'You've got to have a script. Archives has to have a script.'

'I don't know what to tell you. Tell them to go see the movie. It's in theaters right now.'

He goes, 'You guys don't have bound pages?'

I go, 'Nope. We have no bound pages. There's three or four legal boxes. You can have all you want. I saw them the other day.'

They had a couple interns just take all the pages and put them into a document, and then they wrote interstitials, and they slapped my name on it. This is the honest-to-God truth: The first and only draft of The Emperor's New Groove was handed in two weeks after the movie was in theaters."

2 - Gif of a smug Kronk saying "mission accomplished"

3 - Gif of two guys going wide-mouthed with shock

4 - Text reading "Dindal: Story rooms, often someone will pitch an idea almost as a joke and then someone else goes, 'That's funny. But what are we really going to do?' This was the only movie I worked on where someone pitched an idea like that and we went, 'Let's use that.' Like Yzma, [who's been turned into a] kitten, is falling off the tower and we're like, 'How are we going to get her back up? She's not going to splat.' I don't remember if it was Dave or Don Hall, another story artist who's become a director since, said, 'What if there's a trampoline salesman at the bottom and she hits that and bounces back up?' We said, 'Oh yeah. That's what it should be.' You can't imagine a story session in Bambi where somebody says that. This quickly became a movie where a trampoline salesman makes sense."

/End ID]

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

[ghostgirl-22]

a mistletoe artrick story? 👀

Thanks so much for the prompt my lovely 💜 This ended up being completely SFW so I’m either very sorry or you’re welcome. Either way I hope you like it <3

—-

It happened once last year at the winter formal. Patrick won prince or king or something like that so he already had a lot of attention on him which meant people were watching when he pulled Art to the side to ask about something… Art barely remembers what it was. What he remembers is that they ended up under the mistletoe.

“Guess what? Now you have to kiss.” Someone shouts followed by a lot of laughter and chatting.

Art isn’t used to being the center of attention and as embarrassed as he is there is a small, small distant part of him that likes it. Still he doesn’t want this kind of attention. He wasn’t even going to do it but someone said it’d be bad luck not to. Come to think of it that someone was probably Patrick.

Art doesn’t need anymore bad luck. So he lets Patrick pull him closer, wearing one of his goofy grins.

“It’s the kiss you’ve all been waiting for,” Patrick announces to their classmates. Most people are laughing but some are actually cheering. Patrick’s girlfriend Madison rolls her eyes but she’s smiling.

It’s theatrical, Art knows that. And Patrick knows how to put on a show. Still, Art shivers a little as their lips touch. It’s probably nothing. Patrick has soft lips. But it’s nothing. Everyone laughs it off makes the obligatory vaguely homophobic jokes and they continue to dance all night.

None of that’s the weird part actually. What’s weird is what happens the next month. Patrick does well on an exam he was dreading. “I got a B+” he exclaims and he kisses Art straight on the lips.

Art rubs his mouth idly but Patrick looks like he’s already forgotten about it and he runs to call his mom. So Art forgets about it too.

And then in February. Valentine’s Day, actually. Art got a bunch of Hershey’s kisses from his new girlfriend Christina. Patrick sneaks one off his desk and later says, “I guess I owe you.” And he cradles Art’s head and plants a kiss right on his mouth. He grins after as Art stares at him dumbfounded and shrugs. “Kiss for a kiss.” And without another word he leaves to go wash up for his date with Madison.

It gets to be normal after that. Their first doubles win of the tennis season. Patrick kissing him right on the court. Just so quick you wouldn’t think twice about it. But Art can’t stop thinking about it.

He gets a kiss on his birthday. Twelve midnight Patrick crawls into his bed while they’re finishing homework.

When he gets his acceptance letter from Stanford. “I don’t think you should go but good job.”

When Christina breaks up with him for Tim Lyons because “he’s just a better player.” Patrick’s making a face, “Tim? Really?”

On the Fourth of July. Hidden away in the boat house on Patrick’s family’s estate.

And the kisses are changing too. Sometimes it’s short and sweet. Other times it’s slow and intimate. Sometimes Art thinks he might have feelings all tied up in this.

They kiss like that, in front of Tashi Duncan. Just the most beautiful girl Art’s ever seen. She seems to be into it— the kissing. And poor Madison is history after that.

He hates Patrick a little bit after the junior US Open final. But that doesn’t keep him from letting Patrick kiss him something quick before they go out to search for beer.

By September they’re kissing in Arts bed just because it’s Tuesday.

On Halloween Art can’t recall what it was like before the kissing became normal. Patrick visiting Tashi at Stanford but staying in Arts room and before they all go to some dumb Halloween Party. Patrick kisses him. They meet Tashi for drinks and he kisses her.

Art’s in this weird place where he doesn’t really know who he’s more jealous of.

It’s December when they go out to eat at some themed restaurant to celebrate the end of their first semester. Patrick’s ordering drinks with his fake ID. Art leans next to him on the bar. Tashi taps his shoulder and points up at the feature where wineglasses are hanging and she’s smirking at the mistletoe draped just above them. “Guess that means you two have to kiss right?” She says.

Patrick grins at Art and Art feels his skin heating up. It’s some kind of kismet obviously.

“Oh come on,” Tashi teases, gently rubbing Art’s shoulder. “It’s not that big of a deal. Cause I know for a fact you’ve done it before.”

[diaferia-dhades]

Reyna II - Queen of Onychinus

Sylus x MC

Warnings: violence, mentions of SA, non-major character deaths, kidnapping

Word Count: 2300, no proofreading

Preview: When words get out that Sylus adores his wife, his enemies start to target her to get revenge on Sylus. Little did they know that his wife was more of a menace than him...

Note: This one is way longer than I anticipated so I'm going to divide this into two parts. Stay tuned for Reyna III.

I turned off the water and got out of the shower. I dried myself and walked out of the bathroom completely naked. I put on a red silk nightgown and hop into bed.

Sylus and the twins are at a meeting today and then the auction after that. I have the whole mansion to myself! Well, kind of. Mephisto is flying between me and Sylus, so I have the whole mansion to myself for about twenty minutes.

I pulled a pillow that Sylus always used onto my chest and grabbed a book that was hiding in the drawer of the nightstand. The pillow has a lingering smell of Sylus. I snuggled into the pillow, already missing my husband.

I started to read the book. Tara recommended the book to me but she said I should not allow Sylus to know. Once I reached the fourth chapter, I immediately knew why.

It's an explicit mature adult book.

The more I read, the more I think of Sylus. If he found out I read a book like this, I wonder what he would think. Would he be offended? Thinking that he didn't please me enough that I have to turn to books for help? Or would he reenact the book?

I snapped the book shut. Is there anything that could turn Sylus off in bed? Would he be turned off by the idea that I read those kinds of books?

While I was deep in thought, I suddenly heard a noise in the house. I snapped my head toward the door, waiting for another noise. When no noise was heard, I turned my attention back to the book.

After reading a couple more chapters, I felt the sleep was getting to me. I placed Sylus' pillow off me, tossed the book aside slid off the bed, and went back into the bathroom to do my nightly routine before bed.

When I came out of the bathroom, I immediately noticed the room seemed to be different.

The book I had read and Sylus' pillow were slightly misplaced on the bed, and the drawer on the nightstands was slightly ajar. If I hadn't been married to Sylus, I would've completely missed those small details.

I walked toward my side of the nightstand and put on a pair of ruby earrings. Sylus gave me that pair when right after he proposed, saying there was a tracker in the earrings.

I picked up my phone to send a message to Sylus. Mid-text, I heard sounds coming from under the bed. Without thinking, I bolted for the door. A hand grabbed my hair and yanked it backward, causing me to fall backward, hitting the floor. On the floor, I saw a person wearing a ski mask and dressed in black.

I tried to kick them, but they used a body lock that prevented me from doing anything.

I grunted and yelled, trying to pry him off me.

"I got her!" He yelled.

The bedroom door burst opened and three more people with ski masks came in.

WHAT THE FUCK!

I was not expecting my evening to be kidnapped!

They might've drugged me as I remembered the last moment blacking out.

Sylus sat on one of the boxes in a theater. Except he wasn't watching a play but watching an auction. Luke and Kieran were standing behind him. Mephisto was on his way to the mansion to check up on his wife.

The auction was boring. The only reason why he would come here was because he heard that a rare gem would be showcased and he needed to get that for his wife.

Speaking of his wife, she should be sleeping right now. He wanted to go home and hug his wife, hold her, kiss her, worship her.

His phone vibrated, interrupting his thoughts. He pulled out his phone and smiled. He noticed that his wife had placed a tracker on herself. The red dot moved toward him. Guess his wife wasn't able to sleep.

Then his phone rang, showing "Soulmate" as the caller ID. He answered the call, "Hello, sweetie. You're not asleep yet?"

There was no answer from the other line. Sylus sat up straighter. "Sweetie?"

A voice replied. A man's voice. "Hello, Sylus."

Sylus narrowed his eyes and waved his hand, signaling to the twins. The twins immediately went to work, disappearing from the box.

"Who is this?"

The voice laughed, "It doesn't matter who I am. What matters is that I have your lovely wife here."

"What do you want." Sylus lowered his voice.

"Say, Sylus." The voice chuckled. "How much is your wife worth?"

"Is she awake?" Sylus asked.

"No, but she will be. Don't worry, we won't do anything to her. Yet."

"What do you want?" Sylus asked again.

"Money." He answered.

"Easy. I'll send it over now."

The voice tuts, "I'm not done yet. I want money and your throne."

Sylus laughed, "I lost my throne for a while now. I can send you the money, but if you want the throne for the N109 zone, you're gonna have the find the real ruler."

The voice snorted, "We'll see about that." Then the line cuts off.

Sylus smirked, "Indeed, we shall see how this unfolds."

Sylus tapped on his leg impatiently. Then a message popped out, a message from Luke.

Sylus looked on the stage at the auctioneer and narrowed his eyes.

The stage changed lighting and a group of people carried a large that looked like a giant cage covered in velvet cloth onto the stage.

"Today's a very special day! We have not something, but someone." The auctioneer spoke into the microphone. There were murmurs in the crowd.

"We all have heard that Sylus got married. Guess what? We have her on stage! Anyone who wins her will claim her! Starting with 75 million!"

Sylus can hear two voices talking to each other on the box next to him.

"Is Sylus' wife really in there?"

"Ha! If she is, I'm betting all my money."

"Are you trying to buy her?"

"Hell yes. I want to see what's in her that made Sylus so swooned. Do you think she's very good in bed? Or perhaps she has a sexy body?"

"Would you share her with me?"

"Oh yes. I wonder how many rounds for us to break her?"

Sylus gripped the armrest, hard enough for it to crack. Those two will die tonight. He will make sure of it.

"100 million!" One shouted and the auction began.

"150 million!"

"200 million!"

The price just goes higher and higher. Sylus takes mental note of all those who dared to place their money. They all shall die tonight.

I woke up with a throbbing headache. I opened my eyes and allowed them to adjust. It seemed that I was placed in a metal cage with a cloth over it. I can hear a distant voice that is speaking through a microphone.

"7 million! Going once! Going twice! This painting is sold to Miss Alexia Oti!" I heard the auctioneer bang on the gravel.

Did they kidnap me to an auction? Pieces of shits!

They had rope tied together my wrists so I used my teeth to unbind them. I felt my wrist burned but I didn't care. All I can think about is Sylus. Once I got my hand unbound, I picked on the lock on the cage. It wasn't as hard as it was those old common locks. I slowly opened the door and peeked out. I was stored in a storage room underneath the stage. There were boxes all lying around. One of the opened boxes contained a very small gem. I wasn't sure what it was, but it was dark red. So dark and it looked black but when angled in a way it would show red. It intrigued me, so I took it and shoved it in my bra.

I crawled my way around, trying to find an exit, except I found a man guarding a door.

Well, guess I'm getting my hand dirty.

I knocked the man onto his knees and he grunted. Before he could fire his gun, I twisted his neck, immediately killing him.

"Fuck you," I whispered.

I opened the door slowly and peeked out. Two men were standing outside, facing away from me. One was using a phone while the other was looking over one's shoulder. Then I realized that it was my phone!

The man using my phone spat on the floor, "This couple is disgusting. Look at their texts. 'dear this, sweetie that, how many pet names do they have of each other? And those pictures? They just send nudes to each other."

"Sylus looks bigger than yours." The other man said and got a hard slap on the head.

"Shut the fuck up! Size doesn't matter!"

I quickly and quietly shut the door before they could hear my snort. I quickly moved the dead man and dragged him to the cage and locked the cage, covered the cloth over it as if nothing had happened here then I found a box big enough for me to hide in.

I hid in the box and just waited it all out.

I heard the door open, and dozens of footsteps were heard.

“Move the cage upstairs.”

“Do you think she’s awake?”

“No sound were made, think she’s still out. Hope she stays out during the entire duration of the auction.”

I heard shuffling and then footsteps slowly walking outside. I waited for a few more minutes before I slowly peeked outside. Once I confirmed there wasn’t anyone, I climbed out of the box and quietly made my way out the door.

“Pst.”

I jumped at the sound and looked around the room for the sound.

“Up here!” A voice whispered.

I looked up and saw a mask hiding on the beams. “Kieran?”

“Luke.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“I sent a message to boss saying you’re alright.”

I shook my head, “No, I’m not.”

“You’re hurt?”

“You tell him this: I am severely hurt so I demand compensation. In blood.”

Luke nodded, typing. “Anything else?”

I shook my head. “Get me out of here.”

“Yes, you’re majesty.” He teased.

I scowled. “Luke.”

Luke hopped down from the beam, “Yes, Your-“

“Shut the fuck up.”

Luke immediately clamped his mouth shut.

“350 million!”

The auction was still going when I met Sylus in one of the boxes in the theater. I walked behind him and wrapped my arms around his neck, “Hello, dear.”

Sylus chuckled, “Hello, sweetie. I hope you give me some names.”

“Sadly, no names. But I do have faces.”

Sylus kissed my wrist, “That’ll work.”

I leaned my head forward onto Sylus, inhaling his scent. We stayed that way, watching how the auction unfolded.

“500 million!” I heard a voice call from the box near us.

“500 million! Going once! Going twice! Sold to Mr. Alex!” The auctioneer banged the gravel.

Sylus gently unwrapped my arms around him. He stood up and pecked my lips, “The hunt begins.” He tossed his suit coat over my shoulder and walked leisurely out the door.

I sighed. I should’ve worn something more extravagant. Something nice for them to see before they die. But this nightgown would work. I sat on the railing, leaning against the wall, waiting for the real show to begin.

Two people on the stage start to pull on the velvet cloth while everyone holds their breath. People are curious about what this so-called Sylus’ wife would look like. What she had in her to captivate the boss of Onychinus.

When the cloth was pulled off, it revealed a cage. And inside the cage was a dead man.

Gasps and mutters were heard in the theater. Some immediately got up, trying to leave, but the all doors were locked.

I heard the same two people sitting on the next box, talking to each other panicky.

“What is the meaning of this?”

“It’s Sylus!” Then he shouted louder for the entire people to hear. “IT’S SYLUS!”

Suddenly, glass shattering was heard and the entire theater dimmed. People started to panic. Screams and yells were heard. I looked down, watching those pathetic humans trying to buy me, running for their lives. Then I looked over to the two men sitting on the next box and waved.

“Who are you?” One asked.

I snickered, “Didn’t you want to see Sylus’ wife?”

Their face paled. I continued, “She’s right here.” I waved in front of me, gesturing to myself. Then I shouted, enough for everyone to hear, “Heard you brought me. Hope you’re ready for the havoc I’m about to deploy.” I laughed.

People turned their heads toward the voice. A lady wearing a nightgown and a coat draping over her shoulders, sitting on one of the box railings. Her face couldn’t be seen as the whole theater was dimmed. Red mists started to appear, turning some people into nothingness. Many screamed, and banged on the door, hoping to get out of this hell hole.

“Enjoy your play, dear guests!” A female voice called again before laughing.

Bodies dropped, some turned into nothing, and some were flung across the room. It was truly a chaotic sight. Hundreds of those elites, who believed that money solves all issues have faced a predicament where money can’t even save their very own life. After what feels like an eternity, the door finally unlocks and dozens of people pour out of the theater like livestocks.

The entire N109 zone are talking about how Sylus’ wife killed dozens of people at an auction that tried to sell her. Those who survived the theater say that she had the body of an angel but the heart of a devil, killing all those who put a price tag on her.

[thatshadowcomic]

Trying my best to be spoiler free-- my honest first reaction.

Think the best way to watch the sonic movies is to remember they're basically AUs. I think there's enough effort and affection to constitute that for me and I really do feel like they're enjoying these movies and the characters, I do. The energy is there and I really love the way they handled shadow, especially with Maria, even if we didn't get the true ending we wanted. It felt very appropriate given how the movies are world building if that makes sense?

Really looking forward to more and a great way to end year of Shadow 🦔 ⚡⚡⚡

That said, since movie 1, I've always felt that the best parts are any time Jim Carrey was not on screen and this will be my hottest take on this account Ig.

Like I think id feel different if there was just *less* of him or the scenes were shorter (in all the movies) or for this one, at least if Robotnik was slightly less Jim Carrey for a breather. Pace is just cut off to make us give him our full attention, often in service of nothing lol. I think they needed to be cut down. Like anything I felt gets cut off because we need to have Jim Carrey be Jim Carrey for 5 minutes.

For just a moment he has something other than shitpost energy (don't get me wrong, I love a good shitpost, but he's just always the same), like when that little moment happened with his grandfather, like what he says to eggman. That was wild. That was cool.

They're never eggman, just Jim Carrey doing...Jim Carrey lol. Which I'm pretty sure was part of the direction, just letting him be weird. Maybe to find their AU eggman?

It's just like how Will Ferrell has his "Will Ferrell, grown man acting like child" joke in 90% of his movies, it just gets old fast. It just felt like watching the mask half the time, I guess?

[weirdlookingsnakewithlegs]

i was thinking abt seeker mating rituals but specifically how theyd communicate to eachother. i remember u said smth about like beeps and alarms in a rhythmic fashion and my brain was like hehe. Morse code.

Id imagine its a sort of call-and-response, with one seeker alerting for a specific maneuver and the other alerting back in response, whether with the same move or another to follow up with.

Of course, seekers need to have skilled reaction timing, as once an alert has started they are usually already beginning the maneuver, and while some may take it slower to confirm if their partner is up for it or not, some others will go straight into it.

The Cyclone/Death Spiral is the only one where it is a complete word as it *can be* a risky move. Not many seekers have died or been critically injured from attempting it as the percentage of actual death/serious injury is low (around ~20-30%, but inexperienced seekers taking flight should not try this move as they will become part of that percentage) but never zero.

Defensive Spiral: -.. ..-. ... (DFS)

Flat Scissors: ..-. .-.. ... (FLS)

Rolling Scissors: .-. .-.. ... (RLS)

Barrel Roll: -... .-.. .-. (BLR)

Low Yo-Yo: .-.. -.-- -.-- (LYY)

High Yo-Yo: .... -.-- -.-- (HYY)

Lag Displacement Roll: .-.. --. -.. .-. (LGDR)

High G Barrel Roll: .... --. -... .-. (HGBR)

The Cyclone (death spiral): -.-. -.-- -.-. .-.. --- -. . (CYCLONE)

idk im yapping. The idea wont leave. Feel free to add on or do watever - ☀️

I love this! I think as trine bonds develop they might forgo the sounds and go solely off body language, but that’s trines. Trines are meant to learn everything about their trinemates after all and a single movement can mean everything to one’s trinemates.

However I can’t help but imagine the first ever beeps of courtship between two seekers, the subtle hesitation that could almost have them crashing into each other. Or perhaps they mess up, ending up near plummeting into the ground. It only adds to the thrill and certain seekers would probably find it adoring(Skywarp).

[corpsentry]

pick your battles

[dragondawdles]

hi been noodling with designs for block guys have some sandy boys

[everymeloneveryday]

chapter 163 page 1

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

canon edizzy dynamic btw

[puppyeared]

valentines day pkmn wip ^_^

[moeblob]

Another OC gift because it's another buddy's bday! And I like to draw gift art. And birthdays are such valid reasons to pester people to let me draw their children.

[britneyshakespeare]

Had the extremely upsetting experience of a mutual of like 6 years going off on me for occasionally making posts about supporting Harris because apparently that makes me a g n cide denier who refuses to learn and grow, with all of my views just being assumed not even from what I've told them I believe or what I've posted before, but just because I DON'T post particularly the kind of things they THINK I should be. When I pointed out how much they were just completely assuming about stuff I'd never talked to them about, I was told it doesn't matter what I do in real life or "care" about if I simply disagree with their conclusion and vote for her anyway. Like they were absolutely not sorry for the level of maliciousness they not just assumed of my character, but for some reason thought appropriate to bring directly to me before unfollowing me. No apology whatsoever for how discomforting or upsetting that might be and certainly no acknowledgment that I could disagree with them and still be a good person. I just got another even longer rant about how they fundamentally can't fuck with me because of this one thing, no matter WHAT else I do in my real life (which I pointed out that they do not know), and how I'm directly supporting fascism.

Like seriously what is it about Tumblr that makes people think they know someone based off of occasional posts? There were just such DEEP assumptions they were making of me and going off of very little or absolutely nothing. Around the time I first became mutuals with that person I used to express my personality and beliefs and talk about what was going on in my life a lot more openly, but I've significantly scaled back on doing that in many ways for many reasons. One of my major ones is privacy and the way I've had strangers outside my followers and following circles just find random things I say and dogpile me for it. I was fundamentally changed after some T Fs did that to me like 3 years ago. I also just didn't have many conversations w that person anymore (I message people in general on here like 10x less than I did circa 2018-2019, which I'm somewhat sorry about!). My point is to say I think this person felt comfortable assuming that they knew me, especially who I am in 2024 at the age of 25, much better than they actually did.

One of the specific things they accused me of was being afraid of learning and growing (because I don't perform social media activism on here like they think I should). Like AFRAID to take criticism. When again I've never received criticism from them or had to respond to any criticism on here before as pertaining to my views on... well, absolutely any of the issues they accused me of not caring about. They essentially treated it as if the only thing in the world I cared about was the US election and characterized me as the most out-of-touch liberal they could possibly imagine, because I'm not "pushing" Kamala Harris to be better (Oh?? Should I do that on here?? Does she read my blog??).

And most hypocritically what they said was that I only *sometimes* *vaguely* post pro-Harris things (I often post like 5 or fewer things in a day though?). But here's the kicker. "Because I know I'll get shit for it. And rightfully so."

Really????? Not a single person, anon or not, in my messages or in a tagged post or anything, has ever given me shit before for saying who I'm voting for. I'm actually NOT afraid of "getting shit" for that opinion, I just don't start fights with people who are anti-voting. And why should I??? I genuinely don't believe in trying to change the minds of strangers on the internet about that sort of thing. I'm just not confrontational about it; that is so not the same thing as being "afraid of getting shit." I'm not posting ENOUGH about my support for Harris, therefore I'm afraid. But therefore they can also make all these assumptions about me being their strawman for an ignorant Harris supporter.

I'm afraid of getting shit but I still post anyway? But if I weren't afraid of getting shit I'd be posting a lot more?? This is ALL based on their assumptions of what my blog *should* look like, based on what I really and truly believe. My level of posting every now and then is an accurate gauge of my feelings on complex, sensitive, global issues. Because I'm voting for the Democratic presidential candidate and I'm ok sharing pretty much just that little glimpse of myself.

I really don't think that person knows just how inappropriate and insulting that is to just say all of that to me. Like they really know what's going on in my head. Their first message began and ended with like "I'm sorry I love you I just can't take it anymore" but they clearly weren't sorry enough to try and be more respectful to me, and they didn't love me enough not to default to extremely ungenerous assumptions and attacking me based off of those instead of any actual words I've said that they take issue with.

Online radicalization is real and it's not necessarily bad because your political views can start to fall well out of the contemporary Overton window. The way you find it appropriate to treat people whose views, however common, seem to fundamentally misalign with yours... that does matter. You can't just assume the worst of everyone and then act on that in how you approach them as individuals. And then be shocked that you don't stay friends with them. You can't be confrontational with someone about an issue you've never had an honest conversation about, and then expect them to take your bad faith in them as reasonable well-meaning criticism.

I'm afraid of criticism??? I'm afraid of criticism. No I'm not. This person and I have never had an issue before where they criticized me and I got harshly defensive. It was ALL projection. The entire tone of their messages was as if all their anti-voting posts recently were somehow in communication with the occasional go-vote-for-Harris posts that I make. That's not a conversation. I don't post for your satisfaction. I don't post in "response" to my mutuals I disagree with. I just post what's on my mind, sometimes, about some things. I really again can't stress enough how baffled I am by this

[sqlmn]

Art I did during my break but don't wanna post on main but you know what. I like Levi and Richard (and Arienne the redhead).

Basically, Levi and Richard go to school together, Richard decides to go by the name Richard and the only person to without question go along with "I'm a boy now" is Levi who calls him Dick. And then gets into fist fights with boys that don't call him Richard. So Richard falls pretty much in love in school then his parents divorce and he moves away.

Many years later (10+) Richard meets Levi again and it's very much nothing grand. Levi overhears Richard introducing himself to someone and is like "lmao Dick? You work here now? Sucks to be you" and Richard is immediately 'I love him so much I hate myself for how easily I give up all dignity for him' but yeah. They work in different departments so Levi does more behind the scenes stuff while Richard talks to clients and is very social.

And their coworkers in both departments love Richard because he's such a nice guy and Levi's department hates Levi a lot cause he's an asshole. (then stuff happens that would require a tw blah blah blah) So after a month of Levi not being at work he returns and Richard immediately goes over to the department to check on him and he's just. Incredibly mellow. No cussing and no cockiness and worst of all, he's being called Richard which is very much not correct from Levi. So he points it out that no one else calls him Dick and if he had a problem with it he would have said something by now so hey, maybe don't suddenly change the entire friendship on your own. (So Levi texts him later to say "sorry for being a dick, Dick" and Richard is v happy and content with that turn out)

Richard is honestly tragically created out of spite for the fact I saw a name IRL and I know that the state that I live in would in fact NOT have someone that intentionally funny and trans so I have to make my own funny trans guy to fill the void.