#and i have plenty of self love

[yardsards]

real "yearning for parental love that i know i'll never get to experience" hours tonight :/

[sixerstanley]

just read a bit in a fic where Ford pats Stan's head and calls him a "good boy" and Stan has an Awakening™ and i cannot stop thinking about it (its just a small bit in the fic tho, although I'm not caught up with it yet). you cannot convince me that they both don't have praise kinks

with ford its basically canonical or like, at least the fact he desires praise and basks in it (which bill gave him).

with stan i think its a bit different? like he desires praise, he wants praise and wants to be told something different other than the fact he's good for nothing, but i have a feeling that when he does get it? he freezes up. i can see him shrugging compliments off from ford, him just saying "shut up" while looking away, because it can't be true. He's always been the fuck up, has always messed things up no matter how hard he tries, so when someone (ESPECIALLY FORD, someone he cares for and respects and loves) tells him something that disrupts the perception he was made to have of himself, he truly doesn't know how to react.

And when he is able to un-freeze himself, he shrugs it off. Because he doesn't believe them. When you're told that you're nothing but a screw up your entire life, so much so that you make that a part of your identity, when someone starts to--god forbid--compliment you, its uncomfortable as hell. And it seems contradictory and makes no sense on paper, because wouldn't you want that? Wouldn't you crave all the praises in the world, because nobody has ever given you the time of day before?

The answer is: yes and no. Because it's one thing to fantasize about it, because that's all it is--a fantasy. A fantasy of not being who he is, which, in his mind, is a giant, walking mistake.

So, when Ford starts becoming nicer to him, giving him compliments here and there since defeating bill, Stan doesn't know how to handle it. It disrupts his reality, his perception of himself.

I think, if stan were to ever work out his issues, at least internally, or if maybe ford can kind of notice that there's a malfunction in Stan's brain every time he compliments him, it could be worked on. Maybe a chat about it (unlikely knowing these two), maybe a fight about it (more likely), or maybe Ford taking drastic measures like tying stan to a bed and praising him until he starts to believe him.

anyway. bottom line is that they both have praise kinks, but stan's is way more complex and less straightforward than Ford's.

[basslinegrave]

whatchu thinking about. nothing? just the changes to garys design and his character evolution and growth and everything. 24/7. you know. and the fact that even if he changed, hes still the same at his core!

[akirathedramaqueen]

You know what I love about this show so much?

The kindness. The understanding. The redemption.

And that's in the setting of fucking Hell. The irony.

The characters are deeply flawed. They make a lot of mistakes. They fuck up even trying to fix things.

But they are trying. They have a lot of virtues, too, even though they don't see them themselves. They slowly but surely process their problems. They work around their trauma and the conditions they were raised in, deeply affected by it, hurting but still powering through, learning, and developing.

Although we are far from the end of these characters' journey, the SpindleHorse team does an amazing job of making these characters sympathetic, believable, and real. They give you the information and the opportunity to understand how complicated things are, how both sides of the conflict can be understood and blamed at the same time.

And the main thing? The forgiveness and redemption. You want these characters to do better, to be better, of course. But you also want them to be loved, despite the fact that what they did was obviously wrong.

You, as the viewer, already forgive them, and you just want them to forgive themselves. To allow themselves to be loved.

When I watched the show and saw them making the same mistakes I did, some horrible things I wouldn’t forgive myself for and struggled with for years, I suddenly understood the struggle. I empathized with them. I wanted to give them a hug. I wanted to comfort them and promise that things would get better and encourage them to give it one more try, one more talk. I wanted to scold them for self-loathing because I know all too well the kinds of dark places it can lead you to sometimes.

And then the thought comes to mind, "Can I afford a bit of this empathy for myself too? Just allow myself to live with the fuckup and allow myself to be human?"

It didn't fix me. But it eased my turmoil and taught me to understand it better. It taught me some empathy, too, and I thought I was the one with the emotional ingelligence of a nightstand. Well, I still kinda am, but at least I learned to listen to people sometimes.

I just want to thank the whole team who worked on Helluva Boss for all the self-reflections I experienced with their creation.

Thank you.

[jingerpi]

While I do often reblog posts about privilege experienced by those in the imperial core, even marginalized workers, I do think there is something to be said for colonial subjects within places like the US. While it's certainly important to recognize the benefits of imperialism as well as the fact that there are apartheid systems in the global south largely because of US influence, it's also important to recognize that the US is still a colonialist project and there are people here who live under a pseudo-apartheid. Many already recognize this, but I do want to emphasize it. it's very possible to acknowledge and discuss both of these simultaneously.

Though there are few laws explicitly about race, the ways Black and Indigenous people are treated by this government and legal system are markedly different from how white people are treated by those same institutions. The statistics on incarceration alone paint an extremely clear picture of this. We can conclude the purpose of a system is what it does and say this is intentional, or we can even look at the professed motivations of members of these systems, either way it's very clear that the systems of this country treat Black and Brown people very differently from white people, and even differently from each other in many ways. Black and indigenous communities have their own histories and complexities which are often completely overwritten because of their shared victimization by the USA, as do Latine folks and many other demographics.

More to the original point, while there are some privileges functionally everyone in the US receives, like easy access to the English language as well as the default currency of the USD, many people in these demographics primarily face disadvantages due to their presence in the USA, rather than benefits. While these oppressions aren't necessarily on the same axis', it's important to recognize the Imprisoned Black man utilized for slave labor is not better off for having his ancestors trafficked to the US, as if he weren't in the US he likely wouldn't be forced into slave labor in the first place, due to the racial subjugation that takes place under these systems. That being said!!! there are still people in these conditions in other countries! While being enslaved in the US is worse than being a free man, it is disingenuous to suggest it is the worst oppression Black people face, or that there are no countries which utilize slave labor in this way and have no access to English or the global trade enabled by USD.

To summarize this: while many who face oppression in the US do not face oppression across all the axis' a person in a similar position in an imperialized country would face, this doesn't necessarily mean that being in the US is on the whole a privilege, as many people in these positions would not be experiencing the same conditions of oppression in the first place were they not colonized and enslaved both historically and continually into the present by the USA.

I think it is quite possible to acknowledge and discuss both of these truths, without claiming that indigenous communities somehow benefit from being colonized, or that colonized people in America somehow have it worse than colonized people in other parts of the globe. (seriously please stop saying minorities here have it worse, we do not)

Finally I want to add that while this issue is close to my heart for a number of reasons, I am white and in the imperial core and will necessarily be lacking in experience or understanding. If you're in a similar position please don't stop this discussion here with me and other white people, seek out and read works by people who experience some of the things I've discussed. and if you are one of those (many, many) people colonized, imperialized, or both, by the USA, please don't hesitate for a moment to critique me. This discussion requires more voices than mine, I only want to amplify with my voice, not center the discussion on myself.

[gncrezan]

some old @chrysanthemumgames hermes-seph sketches!!! some of it is established-relationship daydreaming but also a peek at my dark and twisted mind (sprawling intricate spidey au)

[steakout-05]

been drawing a sorta reference thingy for Salesman Barry in the timeloop au i've been rotating around in my brain for a while recently :] it isn't as much a character design reference as it is more of a reference for how Barry's mental state begins to deteriorate as he starts having intense deja vu and nightmares every time his timeline gets reset upon death and he tries to piece together what is going on out of pure desperation and instincts (he is being experimented on and doesn't know it yet). i want to throw him at a wall (affectionate)

it is still a WIP as i haven't drawn all the details yet and i want to change the colours as they look too dull on my pc,,, also here is the original sketch :D

[isalabells]

„Wenn man mal zurückschaut – Titel sind das eine, das ist die Belohnung, ist natürlich das, was man vorzeigen kann. Aber wenn ihr später mal aufhört und zurückblickt, sind's eigentlich die Menschen, die Momente, die bei euch hängen bleiben werden. Uns hat's 'ne Riesenfreude gemacht zu sehen, was aus dieser Mannschaft geworden ist. Wie sie zusammengewachsen ist, wie jeder an das Ziel geglaubt hat, wie ihr alles dafür getan habt. Und ich glaube, das ist ein wahnsinnig wichtiger Prozess für euch. Für jeden von euch, vor allem für die jungen Spieler. Ihr werdet das später sehen, dass diese Weltmeisterschaft euch wahnsinnig viel gebracht hat. Egal, ob das jetzt Weltmeister ist oder Dritter oder Vierter.“

Deutschland. Ein Sommermärchen (2006), dir. Sönke Wortmann

[apomaro-mellow]

You moved to Texas??

Yeah I'm in the process. My cousin has opened up her home to me for an indefinite amount of time. I'm looking for work here and once I can get that I'll be apartment hunting

[unfinishedslurs]

Jonathan Byers This Is An Intervention

“You’re not happy here.”

Jonathan looks up, startled. Will stands in the doorway with his arms crossed. They’re alone in the house, El hanging out with Max and their mom on a date with Hopper. They had to practically shove her out the door before she’d leave, rambling a list of phone numbers and where to find them, as well as reminding them where the leftovers were. 

“We know, Mom,” he and Will had chorused, and permitted her to pull them down for one last kiss on the cheek before closing the door on her. Hopper just watched in amusement. 

He and Will had eaten dinner before separating to work on their projects, Will with a dnd campaign idea and Jonathan cleaning his camera out. It has more dust than it should, having been sitting in his closet unused for too long. It makes something in him ache, but he can’t make himself pick it up again. There’s something blocking him. 

“What?” 

“You’re not happy here,” Will repeats. “In Hawkins.”

“It’s Hawkins,” he points out. Being unhappy is a given. He’s always known it sucks here, from the way people treated his mom to the rumors that always flew around when he made his way through the halls. The way they’ve treated Will. He hated this town long before interdimensional monsters factored in. 

Will’s frown gets deeper. “I’m happy,” he points out. “Mom’s happy. El and Hopper are happy. We actually have friends here.”

“I have friends,” Jonathan protests, slightly offended. He and Argyle call multiple times a week. He and Nancy are still good friends, and Steve and Robin are slowly growing on him. In a surprising turn of events, Eddie is the person his age he talks to the least, but it makes sense when he thinks about it. Eddie’s brand of freak has always been loud and dramatic, half relying on shock value. Jonathan prefers the quiet. 

“When was the last time you actually hung out with someone that wasn’t me?”

Is that what this is about? Something in his heart sinks at the idea that Will doesn’t think he’s enough. “I like hanging out with you. You’re the coolest person I know,” he says, shifting over and patting the bed next to him. 

Will sits down with a huff that sounds very fifteen-year-old of him. He’s glad he’s getting to be a kid. “You’re not listening to me,” he complains. 

“Then what are you trying to say?”

Will won’t meet his eye, suddenly nervous. “Everyone your age here is leaving,” he says quietly. “Nancy is going to Emerson soon, Steve and Robin are going to Chicago, and Eddie…uh, I don’t know his plans, exactly, he might be going with them. He’s not staying here, anyway. And Argyle is on the other side of the country. So all the people you’re friends with are leaving.”

“They are,” he agrees, laying what he hopes is a soothing hand on Will’s shoulder, “but you know I’m not leaving you, right? I’m not leaving you and Mom.”

Will squeezes his eyes shut. “Maybe you should.”

It feels like ice water being poured over his head. 

Something in his stomach twists uncomfortably at the idea of calling Hopper his dad. He doesn’t know if he’s ever going to. He doesn’t even know if Hopper would want him to. But “dad” is always a word he’s associated with bruises and yelling, the stink of whiskey and a gun in his small, shaking hands. Jim Hopper, with his gruff, fumbling way affection and sweet smiles at his daughter will never fit his version of the word. 

“You’re not my dad,” Will says. “You’re my older brother, you should be my brother. You should be moving away and going to college and living your life! You shouldn’t be stuck here because of me.” He seems near tears now, and Jonathan flounders. He’s always been pretty good at making Will feel better, but now it’s different. Now it’s him making his little brother upset.

Will takes a deep, stabilizing breath.

“You’re not my dad,” he says again. “You shouldn’t have to be my dad.”

“I wasn’t trying to be,” he says weakly.

“You’re doing a better job than he ever did.”

“Okay, then how should we start?”

“You could tell me why we’re always running out of tylenol.”

He didn’t even realize anyone noticed that. He’s been replacing it before it was even empty.

The words stick in his throat, reluctant to come out. But he promised. He promised he’d tell him, and he hates to break a promise to Will.

“It’s my back,” he admits. “My boss hit me with a chair, and it hurts all the time now. I used to smoke it away, but…”

He smoked a little too much. He was too reliant on it. He was being neglectful. The reasons stay on the tip of his tongue, unable to admit his shortcomings. 

Unfortunately, Will takes it another way. “You stopped because of me.”

“No!” 

“Why didn’t you tell me? Or Mom? We can go to the doctor now, we have insurance.”

“I know.”

“Then why didn’t you go? Why can’t you just take care of yourself?”

“It’s just a little back pain,” he defends, “it’s not a big deal.”

It’s really not. It’s practically nothing compared to what some of their friends ended up with. Will has respiratory problems, Eddie uses a cane now, Max is in a wheelchair and her eyes might never work again. Not to mention Steve’s mix of migraines, glasses, hearing loss, and scars he’s accumulated over the years that put Jonathan’s to shame. His issues pale in comparison.

“It is when you take as many painkillers as you do! You’re going to eat holes in your stomach.”

“If I get an ulcer, it’ll be because I know there’s another world out there full of things that want to kill us,” he says, poking Will in the stomach. He giggles, and then looks mad about it. 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you actually happy. I feel like it’s my fault.”

What does he say to that? It can’t be your fault, because I don’t remember the last time I was happy like that? I felt like this long before you went missing? Anything he says will make him worry more. 

“It’s not your fault,” he finally settles on. 

“But if I hadn’t disappeared—“

“I would still feel like this,” he says, because he has to. He can’t stand the idea of Will thinking it’s his fault when the truth is that something has been wrong with Jonathan for a long, long time. “It’s not because of the Upside-Down, bud. It’s not something you can fix. I’m pretty sure I’m just…like this.”

He’s had moments of happiness, obviously. Sometimes he’ll get days, or even weeks, where he genuinely looks forward to the future. When he was in California with Argyle, he felt even better. But eventually, the heaviness in his chest always comes back. It’s just something he knows how to live with now. 

Will sits up, glaring at him. “That’s bullshit!”

“It’s just how it is.”

He squares his shoulders, a telltale sign that Jonathan isn’t going to like whatever he says next. “Mom and I think you should see a therapist.”

Jonathan really doesn’t like that. “You’ve been talking to Mom about this?”

“She’s worried about you!”

“She shouldn’t be!” He’s almost offended. He’s been taking care of himself for years. He was taking care of her for years. “I’m fine! I know how to live with it!” 

“I haven’t seen you smile for real in two months!”

“I’m fine!” He snaps again, and immediately regrets it. Will’s lower lip trembles. 

“You’re not fine,” he says. “You’re not. Don’t lie to me, Jonathan. You just said you weren’t going to lie to me.”

[disguisedcheezed]

If baby Dirk lived all alone, how did he learn to talk and stuff?

and get stuff other than fish and sea plants,cause pretty sure under his house was like an oil rig(https://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/08/science/marine-life-thrives-in-unlikely-place-offshore-oil-rigs.html)

paradox babies are very smart on their own, (dirk literally wanted to go back right after he was born) and he would learn from watching movies and anime from the internet, of course. [see under the cut]

and as for other food sources, we wouldn't really have any other way to get anywhere but the ocean. but he would have some seeds(and various planting materials for them) left for him in his kitchen from rose at least (for making tea c:). not to mention the orange sodas with it. (because rose told dave to get those for him)(and rose would have plenty of things left for both dirk and roxy. :) )

and i think that the apartment beams full of marine life would be beautiful. very bountiful. absolutely good for the baby.

.

it's just funny. why could i not.

(Added from my tags)

I also think Dirk's kitchen would have plenty of kitchen appliances and all kinds of knives. He would use a good ol linemen knife to skin wires! ^^

Also several tea sets and various seed packets.

Hoho so self indulgent XD

[sysig]

I did some Souichi studies because I’m love he <3 (Patreon)

Bonus:

Here are the Studies compared to their Originals btw :3

So like, not a joke, not an exaggeration, I’m pretty sure this is my favourite panel in the entire Challengers/KoiBo continuity (and I decided to draw it first lol - it’s ‘cause I have such big feelings about it!!) It just hhhhhh, it so perfectly encapsulates everything he’s feeling in that moment; disbelief, betrayal, uncertainty, distrust, conflict - every moment of love he’s built up to that point has been thrown into immediate relief to what he’s been told and it’s all there, right on his face, it’s such a masterfully done expression ;; <3 I legit cry every time I reread, that whole scene is just so good, I could actually talk forever about his relationship with Morinaga in that one moment

The rest aren’t nearly so intense lol, mostly just grabbed from moments when I thought he was being especially cute <3 Concerned lad! His hair is so swoopy in Challengers hehe <3 <3 It’s actually even fluffier in his super early-on appearances, which are also excellent >:3c But I still like his KoiBo look best ♪ You can also see it’s a bit of a challenge to make his face as slim as he actually is, just thicken the lines inward until it almost looks right! Lol

I love this panel haha, everyone so silly chibi’d out. You can also really get a good look at how ridiculous his hair is, look at how the tuft that’s tucked behind his ear joins up with the tie! How does he tie it up like that, consistently?? How is he allowed in labs like that!! He’s ridiculous <3

Confused and blushy Souichi ft. Morinaga, I just kind of filled in the details he was covering lol. I love Souichi being dumb and having no self-awareness <3 He’s actually quite intelligent and emotionally aware a surprising majority of the time! But his blind spots leave big gaps haha

I love when he has his eyebrows in a relatively neutral position, he’s normally so grumpy! He looks so friendly even with just a neutral expression :D Plus his hair!! The way it’s communicated to be thin and feathery by being able to “see through it” to his lab coat, ah <3 Handsomest

Shy boy <3 I also really love the way his hands and wrists are shaped, such cool lines ah

I could’ve sworn he and Morinaga were like, almost the same size in Challengers... I guess Morinaga did have a second growth spurt, but still! It’s just an excuse to see him being cute!! Oh noooooo (lol)

Grump man <3 Beauty boy <3 His hair flows so beautifully!

It’s also fun to see a younger Souichi in a flashback, rather than in the Challengers style haha. He was a mess by himself, he’d hate to hear it but he really only does well with others haha. I also love how this scene is from the POV of one of his admirers, Momo is such a good girl and she’s so right <3

He’s being such a meanie to his sister in this scene lol, he’s the worst! <3 I was going to leave it at that, but adding his little frameless-glasses stem holes really made it look like Spamton’s googly eyes and I about lost it lol

[gingerwerk]

Finally beginning my 20 hour trip back home 🫠🫠🫠🫠

[spinchs-field]

Ok wait now i have an idea

How does one be as cool as you?

-Flamingo anon

oh this is an easy question

first you have to pretend like you are the hottest person in the room. it doesn’t matter that you don’t believe it. just tell yourself “i’m the hottest person in this room right now” until you can look yourself in the eyes and say it to your face. start wearing clothes you’ve always wanted to wear. even if you think you “can’t pull it off.” i assure you, you absolutely can. look at yourself in the mirror. tell yourself you’re the hottest person in the room. keep saying it until you believe it. you have to feed your ego. even if it feels weird or stuck-up. you Have to feed your ego. compliment yourself. praise your own art/writing/whatever.

DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS. COMPARISON IS THE EGO KILLER. YOU HAVE TO STRIVE INSTEAD. strive to be as good as your favourite artist. your favourite author. your favourite poet. your favourite youtuber. whoever it is you look up to, don’t compare yourself to them. strive.

acknowledge and accept your failures!!! you will never be as perfect as you want! it is part of being human! you can see where your faults are, but you cannot linger on them. you have to see it and try your best to overcome it. an obstacle will only move when you push it. it’s gonna fucking suck, and you’re gonna want to put it off forever, but you have to do it.

put in the work to better yourself. you can bitch and moan the whole time, that’s perfectly okay, but you have to do it. you will feel like nothing has changed. you will feel like a stuck-up try-hard. but when you look back after months and even years you will see how far you’ve come and you will know that your past self will be so excited to be just like you.

become someone your younger self would want to be when they grow up. make yourself proud.

[allgirlsareprincesses]

The kindest thing you can do on Tumblr is tag your negativity.

I genuinely think it's fine to talk about the fandom stuff you just can't stand, but giving people a heads up and a chance to filter it out is great.

[isfjmel-phleg]

🥽