#and i have irl stuff which kinda prevents me from being able to do the 'photo' stuff daily

[mxnster-soul]

Heya guys/gals/and fellow nonbiney pals!

[mr-bisk]

Fukkkkkk I want to spoil the surprises of my fics but i don't want to ruin them for who follows me on tumblr.... I guess fuk-ich, idk how to format a post, but it cant be that hard, am I Right!?

Spoilers and HC's under the cut:

Also TW: i can't continue w/o advising: if u got a cringe allergy, ingestion might block your throat. I don't want to kill anybody(yet) so maybe skip this one.

CW: Spoilers for the chapter amouts and last chapter; Transphobes DNI lol, I made all of them Queer and I'll die on this lane; Little Vents(more than one, kinda?); Mention of Fan-Childs.

First of all: The ending. The fanwork just will get 4 chaps cuz i can't drag stuff yet. To spoil the ending, Bill will have a panic attack upon not being able to avoid feeling queer at Josh's presence, gets a hold of his mother's whisky, drunkly and pathetically call Josh to come to his house and out of pity he will attend. They end up alone in Bill's room and end up kissing. It doesn't stop Josh from going to college, much for the opposite effect as he gets scared and confused, but plans to come back to Eltingville soon with a clearer mind.

Pete HC: 🅱️ete is transmasc, stealth-trans. His parents saw it coming from a young age and are actually supportive. They help him hide away his deadname and other stuff that would direct hate towards him. His dad loves having a male son that is interested in helping him with brute shit, although he doesn't endorse his interest in horror and nerd stuff, it is the exception.(also Jer knows his deadname as they are childhood frens.)

Jerry HC('s, theres A LOT of stuff): 1st, Jerry is transfem. 2nd, PeteJer is real. 3rd: I made BillJer virtually impossible timeline-wise bc Bill assumes himself as gay a little after Jer's Egg-Hatchin', also he has the fastest but most oblivios gaydar(maybe queer-dar, idk??) and never felt attracted to Jer.(also yeah, i hold a grudge for the flood of billjer we had when eltingville blew up. Like, Frrr? the whitest, most bland ship u cold think off got popular!?! No hate if u like it, theres loads of gr8 stuff under the umbrella, I'm just not kin.)

Vent: I still love eltingville, don't see the end off the brainstorm/interest flood on the horizon yet- ....Buuuuuut I can't hold myself from feeling like I'm making a disservice to the BillJosh tag. I just begun to write again and posted it on AO3 to prevent me from quitting, and The Damn™️, I feel like my work is meh at best. I'm a perfecctionist, and there are plans of it being re-written, so if u like it, hop in the future when i got enough EXP. and writing turned into a pleasure again.

Bacc to the fanfic. There will be at least 3 more projs. after I conclude this one: A continuation where Josh comes back to Eltingville to see Bill and ends up dragging him to Boston; A PeteJer bittersweet tale with two parts in which(as it is in my brain rn, change might come) mirrors the BillJosh plot, you'll have to wait to see; And a Jane-centered story BECAUSE I 💜 HER!!1!!

I.... Okay.... Last one. The cringiest and most personal yet: There will need to be a Miracle, a fucking change of heart of me to not put Fan-Childs at some point.... yeah. Look, I myself plan of becoming a Father/Ba irl and it pours in the way i see relationships. If thats a big ass No-Hell-No! to u, Maybe do not hop into the fishing line of my fanworks, because it is a big factor in the way i view it's development.

[judas-isariot]

I accepted this sub jobstudying IA to protect teacher. I did so I can find a way to protect artist and now I feel like I understand stuff to help us.

So, I talked about it. I have to study IA mecanism and (kinda) reverse engineer it has part of my job had the new member of the plagiat prevention team (aka, a bunch of university engineer nerd stuck in an old bulding with computer). I have to understand ways it work so we can teach people how to recognize IA art and prevent cheating in university.

I feel like I am going through a whole arc so quickly about it (call me DR. Strangelove) but let me give you a good and a bad news about what I have gather that can help all artist:

Bad news about IA art softwares :

Delecting your art from your blog, website, internet WON'T prevent his internalisation in the machine.

Story time: I was doing my usual report the other day (I have to do report for Eric the math guys who study ChatGPT) and I saw pass a submission with a drawing in it. Obviously not the OP art because I recognize it. It is Leahfuhrman, love his work, they delected their blog after IA ressurgence to prevent the machine from learning his art style... Wait... THEY DELECTED THEIR BLOG TO PREVENT EXACTLY WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HIM NOW. So yeah, people keep other people artwork sometime, I know I do for inspiration when internet is off, but I won't repost it, or send art to an IA (except mine for test but I am not a good artist anyways). But people who are less involve and less educated about it 100% do.

You are not safe by delecting your art. (BTW, If you come across LeahFurhMan. Tell him it happen with his art and I am sorry to be a witness to that)

Good news about IA Art Softwares:

HE SUCK AT FANART !

None of the try software can draw me a Kirby, and this is kirby ! everybody love kirby, he is the easiest to draw and it is not like nobody know him, he is kinda famous.

And the more obscure your blorbo is, the less likely he can draw something even CLOSE to it. The IA is actually really confuse about character who aren't IRL people. He mistake franchise, character and even type of game and when he cannot draw you what you want, he either give you a mess or a waifu for... Internet reason I do know.

By the ways I take that time to ask you. Do you have question about thoses IA ? Do you have idea or curiosity for me to study for you ?

Unlucky, the state I live in, hate artist and is pro IA. I would love a legislation to pass about it and be able to input my own experience but the truth is : The state kinda want to cut our fund right now...

Because we are kinda bothering them being a bunch of engineer free thinker, left wing, helping education and they might believe we are communist wanting to share knowledge for free (which I am lmao).

So really. I want to help artist, maybe I can help on any kind of apply pressure.

Bonus good news ?

IA software censor more and more word to not be ask to draw pornography but also combinaisons of word :

For exemple you cannot put "Woman" and "Raptor" (Yes I know it is specific but I was thinking about jurrasic park) in the same sentence, because it is really scare of porn, again.

So if you see massive cock art or soft nudity of any kind, be assured, it is not IA !

[ruthlesslistener]

i draw too much from real life (autism go brrr i guess) but how do lurien’s wings fold?? like he usually has them pinned against his back but how does that. work. irl butterflies cannot do that so my brain is like ???? does not compute and im curious to know what you think

Oh big same?? Biology is my special interest so it makes everything even worse for me ksjdhfbgjsdf

The answer lies in specbio! Many of the lepidoptera genus in Hollow Knight appear to be able to fold down their wings/make them go limp in a manner that would be incompatable with irl butterflies and moths, so my hc is that to prevent tear for a bipedal lifestyle, they only pump hemolymph and other fluids into their wings when they're ready to fly, leaving them limp against their back otherwise. This means that being to fly quickly away from danger is nearly impossible, yes, but it also makes their wings harder to tear and less dangerous to them if they are damaged, which is essential when walking upright means that they'd be either folded behind their backs, where they can catch on things (butterflies), or to the sides where others can walk into them (moths). So instead of them pumping out their wings once after pupating and being ready to fly all the time, they are capable of turning them back and forth between being limp and fabriclike to being taught, strong wings for flight. This is either triggered by a conscious desire to fly, or arousal of some sort (fear, anger, etc) that gets their subconscious mind convinced that they either need to fly, flare their markings to one-up another in a dominance contest, or flash their wings to lure in a mate.

(For sanity's sake, and bc Markoth, Seer, and Thistlewind seem perfectly fine letting their own wings drag about, we're going to assume that the wing structure of anthro moths and butters is far stronger than actual insect wings irl, and that their scales function more like the feathers/featherdust of cockatiels vs irl. There's always some scales being rubbed off of the wings, but most of them are firmly fixed into place and can be regenerated if lost, unlike with real butterflies/moths. I'm going to attribute that to anthro bugs having far longer lifespans than irl bugs as well, who are very much 'PUPATE FUCK AND DIE')

For Lurien, his wings are especially crumpled because he never saw any reason to fly, and his position in his spire keeps him from going out and getting freaked out much. Butterflies are distinct from moths in that they fold their wings against their backs instead of laying them out to the sides, so he can't drape them around them with the same ease that the moth tribe does, which means they just kinda get mushed beneath his cape most of the time. The lack of use combined with the fact that he hates being looked at/he's pretty much convinced that PK would never throw a glance his way means that, for the most part, he never pumps out his wings, so they're just kinda. hanging there uselessly unless he gets especially pissed off at something. Think about crinkled clothes in a closet- technically you can iron them and put them in those protective thingies, but they're really more convenient to just stuff into whatever space is available and deal with the crinkles if you don't use them often enough to warrant such a loss of space

[natsumiheart]

I just wanna say how tired I am with some oumota shippers and their argument that oumasai is a bad ship cause apparently Shuichi never cared about kokichi and is annoyed with him and that oumota is better cause kokichi "opened up" to kaito like what they both were dying and kokichi had to convince kaito to work with him so he had to tell the truth that he wasn't the mastermind or else they'll die a meaningless death.I just really wanted to say this cause its driving me insane

Anonymous said:

Btw i was the anon that sent that ask ranting about oumota shippers saying oumota is better than oumasai and I just wanna clarify that I don't hate oumota shippers cause I know its their opinion and everyone can ship what they want but i feel like I really needed to tell someone about it cause it has been messing with my head and I don't have any irl friends that like DR and this blog felt the safest to vent to

Oh my goodness I’m so sorry you’re dealing with those people! I have a friend who is actually suffering from the same exact thing. Constant harassment from Ou**ta shippers saying Oumasai is toxic. I’m happy you feel like this is the safest blog to vent to ;; And just to make you feel better, here are a bunch of reasons why YOU’RE 100% RIGHT! and you shouldn’t be attacked or ashamed of how you feel towards that ship and all that hate towards yours. If anyone says Shuichi hated Kokichi and never cared for him just read this post! https://natsumiheart.tumblr.com/post/177427505177/hewwo-what-are-your-opinions-on-the-people-who

Warning: If you like Kaito x Kokichi I recommend you don’t read what’s under the cut, I don’t want to diss anyone’s ship in front of their face. That’s just insensitive, and the last thing I want is to ruin someone’s day. Unless you really want to know why others don’t feel the same as you, then don’t check out this post. Thank you!

Note that while I mention the bunch of reasons why this ship just straight up wouldn’t work out, I’m going to ignore the fact that Kaito acts very homophobic and transphobic in the japanese version of the game. I’ve mentioned it in this blog a bunch of times before, and it’s pretty obvious that everyone ignores his Homophobia so I’m just going to pretend as if he’s not homophobic and break down why exactly this ship wouldn’t work out even without him being homophobic in the first place. But I’m definitely not going to exclude how he acts towards guys in general.

> Kaito treats most guys he meets like trash, unless he respects them. Whenever Kaito finds a guy acting “Weak” he literally looks down on them, even gets frustrated with them. Huge proof is how he treated Shuichi for crying over Kaede, and then later punching Kokichi because he was acting “Weird”. Kaito was a huge fan of Ryoma, but when he saw what he has become, someone who has given up on his future, he started treating him badly, and after Ryoma was dead he even talked badly on him calling him “Weak.” and a “Sissy.” Not being able to understand the pain Ryoma was going through or how things were for him. He also got creeped out by Korekiyo for acting like a girl before he even revealed that he was “posessed” by his sister. Aren’t all those moments in the game enough proof that Kaito just straight up doesn’t like guys at all in that way? Then how could he *love* a guy, and Kokichi of all people. Heck, Gonta x Kaito make more sense than Kaito x Kokichi, even though he yelled at Gonta once for crying and being too weak for a man.

It’s shown multiple times in the game that Kaito treats guys like trash, and he treats Kokichi the worst of all.

Note: I do think Kaito can change the way he acts towards guys, but I don’t he will ever love one romantically.

> I think we can all agree that Kokichi is really hard to deal with sometimes. He distances himself so much from everyone as much as he could, and he won’t back down that easily even if it meant hurting others’ feelings. He keeps lying constantly so no one can figure him out or get close to him. We don’t exactly know the reason why, but he has major trust issues and it shows.That is the reason why for us, seeing Shuichi listed under “Trustworthy” was a big deal. (But I’m not going to dive deep into that since I already did multiple times in this blog.) My point here is that Kokichi needs someone with patience, someone who could understand him a bit and why he does what he does. Someone to decipher his actions and break down his walls, but isn’t afraid to sometimes step his foot down and tell him that his actions are wrong and he’s harming others as well as himself. Kaito on the other hand grows frustrated with guys so quickly, he doesn’t listen to their reasoning before heading in for physical violence. THAT is exactly the opposite of what Kokichi needs! And I still don’t understand how others can’t see it! When Kaito punched Kokichi in chapter 4, he was already in so much despair over seeing the secret of the outside world and that punch made it worse. To the point he stayed silent then locked himself in his room. How in the world do people actually see this ship as better than oumasai? I don’t get it.

Kokichi shouldn’t be with someone that will treat him like trash, and physically (if not also emotionally) harm him for how he’s acting.

> Opposites sometimes attract, but POLAR opposites do not. and I’m talking from personal experience here, two people who are different in so many ways (ESPECIALLY THEIR WAY OF THINKING) will end up fighting 24/7. It was shown again and again in the game that Kokichi and Kaito do not get along thanks to how different their approach is to things and their seemingly different upbringings. Ships between two characters who fight a lot just make me so uncomfortable and disturbed, because I know how these relationships actually end up in real life. Fights do happen in relationships sometimes, it’s even needed to strengthen the relationship, to realise that no matter what happens you STILL love your partner, but when you fight every single time you talk? That’s a bad sign! 

Fighting is NOT romantic and it never will be! And when it has physical violence mixed in? My god. Please do yourself a favor and break up with your partner if they keep hitting you.

> Kaito doesn’t ever side with Kokichi:

He literally said in chapter 4 “I don’t wanna survive it means I have to stoop to your level!” and Kokichi said “Then die in a hole for all I care! WE wanna LIVE, so stop getting in our way!”. Kaito will never be on Kokichi’s side, Even if it meant his death and the deaths of all his friends.

When Kaito realised that maybe watching all the motive videos together would’ve prevented a murder from happening Shuichi is the one that points out that it was what Kokichi was trying to do. But then Kaito is like “Huh, really?” Then brushes it off. Because of course, of course Kokichi wants murders to continue. Right?

Even after Kokichi spilled everything to him because he was literally about to die and really wanted Kaito to go along with his plan and believe him. Kaito still stated that he still thought he only thought of himself. Even after Kokichi sacrificed himself to save HIM from the poison and MAKI from being his murderer. He still hated him and didn’t believe him. The only reason Kaito went along with his plan was because he was about to die anyway, he was running out of time and he needed to get out even if it meant following Kokichi’s plan and killing him in the process.

When two people actually love each other they have each others backs. But with these two, they never will.

> I don’t believe Kokichi hated Kaito. But he literally thinks he is stupid and is a bad influence on everyone. These two have a relationship of two siblings that can’t stand each other. I always see myself and my brother in them, which is another reason why their ship makes me beyond uncomfortable. My brother puts his trust in people way too easily, and believes whatever tf his brain comes up with because y’know it’s him and “he’s always right”. He would never take a second to think that maybe he’s wrong, just like Kaito and his hunch. I on the other hand find him incredibly stupid, we argue a lot because our way of thinking and our beliefs are very different, we even used to hit each other a lot. We never really got along. And the way Kokichi and Kaito act around each other really reminded me of it, but you don’t know me and you don’t know my brother so why should you take my word for it? An example I like to use when trying to explain this point to others is the relationship between Stanley and Stanford in Gravity Falls, those two fought a lot in the show but in the last episode they had to work together on a plan despite their differences. Doesn’t it remind you of a certain story that happened in the game? Kokichi and Kaito’s relationship resembles theirs so much it’s insane. 

I feel like the game tried to show us how these two are more like siblings but on bad terms, even giving them similar hair and eye colors. But that flew straight over every rivalry shipper’s head.

These are some of the reasons why Ou**ta wouldn’t work out and can’t even be a thing in the first place, I said it before and I’ll say it again: I could write a book about this topic. But I’m kinda busy today and I have to leave the house soon- I hope you’re convinced that you are actually right. (I’ve been told countless times that I’m wrong leading me to question myself, so I wanted to help out by reassuring you that your feelings are valid and you’re not wrong in this situation at all) Saying Oumasai is toxic for one line Shuichi said while he was angry and defending his friend, while shipping Ou**ta and ignoring all this stuff is like the most hypocritical thing anyone can say. 

And yeah, people should ship whatever they want. Lots of people ignore characters’ feelings and ship the crackiest of ships, making very OOC art and fanfiction. And they can do that! But they can’t go around dissing people for their ship while supporting an obviously flawed one. Honestly you shouldn’t attack people for their ships in the first place, no matter what YOU ship. Just stay in your own bubble and stay away from the ships you dislike. It’s not that hard!

If you’re an Ou**ta fan reading this, I just want to say thank you for reading this far, and I’m really not saying you should stop supporting your ship. I’m just explaining why we feel this way towards it and the evidence we have behind it. If you’re one of the people who go around attacking shippers while boasting your ship. Please stop? Seriously, stop giving a shit about other people’s opinions and life will suddenly become much easier.

I’d like to clarify: If anyone responds to this post telling me I’m wrong, I’m not responding. My blog is for me to post art, sometimes funny stuff to make people’s days, interact with my followers and draw their requests, or ranting about topics I’m passionate about (Mostly DR). I do not want it to be a place for ship discourse, so if I get disagreeing replies or asks I’m going to ignore them like I always do whenever I post these rant type blogs. I hope you understand.

[rebelwith0utacause]

thanks for tagging me @pxrxmoore ^^ This looks cool!

feel free to answer all of them or just some of them or just ignore this all together, whatever you’re comfortable with, and then tag however many people you want!

1. what was your first encounter with fanfiction? 

I think the first time I ever came across fanfiction had to be either with Paramore + other VWT bands (ATL, BVB, The Maine) on Buzznet or with Avenged Sevenfold on Wattpad. I’m leaning towards the latter because I was reading stuff on Wattpad since 2007-8 and I listened to A7X more (plus I stopped reading/listening to new A7X stuff when Jimmy died in 2009/2010 which is also around the time I became active on Buzznet). Idk, it’s been so long and that entire era of my life is extremely blurry.

2. your favourite creation of your own of all time if you create stuff (feel free to link it)?

I once made a 10 ft macrame half hitch spiral braid out of wool. Basically just braided and braided until I no longer had wool (I might have added a bit more). I think I wore it 2-3 times as a belt, but it didn’t matter. It was something cool I could do and no one knew about it.

3. what vibe are you going for with your home decor (or what vibe do you wanna go for one day, if you don’t have your own place atm)? 

Don’t have my own place atm, but def something IKEA-ish, mainly whites and/or that greyish kinda light wood. I just like stuff that look pure and clean and would let my plants be the highlight. I’m thinking green minimal with lots of DIY furniture and white linens. 

4. first fandom you ever joined? what was it like? on what platform did it happen? 

Tbh, I feel like nothing compares to my 5sos phase so I’m gonna say 5sos. I’ve definitely been in others too (A7X, ATL, Paramore, Marvel/Tom Hiddleston, James McAvoy) but I’ve never been so immersed. Same goes for my metal bands, probably because most of them were either dead or disbanded by the time I started listening to them actively.

5. what are your sun, moon and rising signs, and do you think they make sense in relation to how you know yourself? 

I’m a Gemini-Cancer cusp sun, Pisces moon and Taurus ascendant and tbh I didn’t believe in this shit very much. But the more I started reading up, the more it clicked and made sense. I feel like I’m little bits of all, the good, the bad and the ugly but there are also sides of me that you see, sides I allow you to see and sides I keep hidden very deep inside my psyche that even I hardly see them and it just makes fkn sense.

6. if you write and/or read fiction (original or fanfiction), do the tropes/plots/character types you typically seek out to read and/or write about reflect something about you as a being or how you see the world?

I don’t necessarily think they do, but they might. I’m pretty sure I have a “nurse” syndrome irl so to counteract that need to help others I read fiction where others are helped (because probably deep down underneath all of that fixing I’m doing, I need someone to fix me). And by fictive fixing I mean all kinds of fixing whether it be actual wounds or psychological healing or even socialization and sex, it doesn’t matter, I’ll read it all. I’m also a very analytical person so I love doing a psych evaluation to both the characters and the writers.

7. what is the hardest obstacle you’ve had to overcome so far in life? 

There have been many and I always see the level of impact they had on me after I’ve overcome them completely and taken a few years to just dissect what happened. So I don’t know if these are the hardest but the most pivotal in my life so far have been learning how to overcome my fear of vehicles while battling depression at the same time, as well as learning how to stop feeling like I didn’t do enough to prevent someone else’s suicide.

8. what is your all time favourite song(s)? 

This is really hard because I listen to too much music tbh, but let me see: 

- Milice by Foltin, it’s a song in Macedonian about a girl called Milica and this guy is reminiscing about the beginning of their love, it’s just such a chill fusion song. 

- Youngblood by 5sos, it basically sends me into another dimension where I feel the hurt, anger and disappointment he’s feeling as well as the helplessness of knowing you’d probably never get over this person. Yeah, his voice has that much power over me.

- Face of Melinda by Opeth, this is a part of a concept album and while the backstory is pretty dark, the melody is so soft and serene and temperamental and violent at times, I just love it so fkn much.

- Nobody’s Wife by Anouk because we all have those badass bitch songs and mine happens to be this gem, followed by You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette.

- Outlines by All Time Low, idk what’s the deal with this song but it came out during the time when I was young but felt very old and I just couldn’t find my place in the world so I replayed the shit out of it and it somehow helped me heal.

9. what do you look for in a person you wanna keep in your life, be it a friend or a romantic partner or anything in between? 

I kinda don’t look for anything in particular I just look for traits that would piss me off and say buh-bye to those people from the get go. Like... I need ppl to be politically aware and vocal, but not politically blinded, I need them to be eco-conscious and I need them to hate capitalism as much as I do. I need them to be modern thinkers but not to a point where they believe and stand for every fad coming from Western civilization. Basically someone grounded and being able to evaluate the situation without being constantly swayed by others’ opinions. Some might call it stubborn, but I really think that globalization has made us lose the good side of our ego. The part that makes us stand for something we truly believe in and not just be another sheep in the herd. 

10. this is a bit of a difficult one, but have you ever had a moment of clarity, a conversation with someone that made you go “oh!”, or anything along those lines? 

It’s happened a few times, but I’m really self-reflective so those things are to be expected of me. The last one I remember was around March last year and I was in group grief therapy and the psychiatrist was basically talking about how to deal with grief and suicide prevention and how talking helps and we talked about dreams and overall health and such and during those conversations he talked about PTSD and what helps to alleviate the symptoms and get over it and my EUREKA! moment came when I realized I’ve been healing my PTSD unknowingly on my own for the past 5 years. Basically that was such a great experience and it put so many things in perspective for me. I mean I come from a society where all things mental health are brushed under the carpet as if they don’t exist. And I’m definitely not the type of person to label shit and feel helpless because I can’t fix it. If anything, I’d def get angry and try to fix it myself because I hate being in limbo. And hearing someone voice my thoughts and fears and tell me that I’ve been doing great was just... Idk, felt like a pat on the back and a tight hug at the same time. 

tagging @karajaynetoday @krindy33 @twilightmomentswithyou @tigerteeff @myloverboyash @talkfastromance4 @notinthesameguey @ashtonlftv if you want to do this or haven’t done this before :*

[obeymematches]

AAA, hi I'm that first anon ( /w\)

I'm glad you're doing well ❤️ Thank you so much for the content you're making. I've been kinda losing interest in Obey Me but I'd like to request a match-up, maybe it'll help me rekindle my love for the game.

So, hmm. I'm 18 and a bit of a short gal, 4' 11 since I last checked (aaaa, Asian genes. But hey, cute size difference).

I'm an INFP-T, so I kinda suck at socialising hahah. But I make up for it by showing a cheery exterior. It always feels good to leave a good impression.

I usually like to try keeping a soft image, but will also be a loud memelord if I ever get comfortable enough.

I'm about to study HUMSS next school year, dreaming of becoming an arts teacher or prof, if I can manage. But I struggle with anxiety, which kinda clashes with my dream career, since a teacher requires confidence ,w,)

I tend to put others' needs before myself, I always want to make sure my friends are happy. The world is... horrible, so I really try my best to ensure they're smiling. It just gives me good serotonin if I know I made them feel happier.

My brain is horrible at keeping stuff, meaning I'm really forgetful. And oof, not really the smartest tool in the shed. No thoughts, head empty. Only love and escapism✌️😔 My dumbass brain is another thing that clashes with my dream job.

I like drawing, listening to music (distracts me from bad thoughts), video games (my most favs are rpgs and open world), horror stuffs, and crying whenever I see frogs and dogs. I also like plants. Ohh, and shiny rocks, heck yea.

Tho, I'm not really taking care of any at the moment, but I dream of having my own garden. I love the cottagecore aesthetic.

A thing I should add I guess is that I used to be a total weeb, so my behaviour and speech is heavily influenced. I'd sometimes casually drop a 'hai?', 'nani', 'nande kore' and etc. in convos. Kinda makes me cringe, but dang I can't stop.

Even if I don't enjoy watching anime as much as before, I do like anime movies. All ghibli films, Kimi no Nawa, Weathering with You and A Silent Voice are my favs.

I just love the soundtracks so much qoq

My worse flaws are I'm hella sensitive, a huge procrastinator, childish, and easily jealous.

But despite me being a lazy dumbass, if I put my mind into something, I will not stop until I finish the thing. Which means I also tend to overwork myself.

I know it's unhealthy but it really keeps me motivated, aaa-

I also seem to like acting as if I know a lot? I mean, I come across as that but my real intention is I just thought to share my knowledge of the subject.

I just say a lot of stuff because I tend to blabber and jumble my words.

I guess my love language is words of affirmation. Compliments, I love you's, heart memes, cheesy pick up lines that my sleep-deprived self thought of at 4am- all of em!

These are the weapons I torture my friends with o(○｀ω´○)9

But ahh, the thing is I've never dated anyone before. I find it so difficult to fall for someone irl, or even gain crushes. Mostly fictional. So I have absolutely no experience in the dating business.

Something to do with my self esteem and trust issues, ekk-

Oof, that's long. I hope that's not too much. Again, thank you so much if you happen to get to write this. Take your time, hun ^w^ ❤️💕 AAAA, and congratulations on reaching 100 followers!

----------

Hi! 

Noooooo i’m so sorry it took me so much time to write this ;; I hope you like the result though! thank you for your patience!!  💕 💕 💕 

I decided to match you with Mammon! 

Here is why: 

Okay so obviously there is a bit of a height difference, I mean he is not even near to being the tallest but thats exactly why he thinks you are the best height - it makes him feel taller and that is good for his confidence. 

Mammon is known for going out and socializing a lot - even if more often than not he ends up in some kind of unusual situation. He is good at taking the initiative in case you have trouble. Just don’t always follow through his ideas he suggests to bond, because most of the time it will end up getting both of you in trouble. I mean it’s not like Lucifer would punish you too badly because of something stupid Mammon got you to do (besides you having to listen to a lecture about why the thing you two did was dumb), but poor friend of yours is not so lucky.  :(

  I like to think of him as a positive, rather optimistic, maybe naive person but I think your cheerful attitude goes well with that. I mean think about the aura you two would spread! 

He would definitely be surprised to learn about your loud memelord side, but that would fascinate him so much because you can open up to him sooner than to his brothers and that also makes him more proud to be with you! I think that would also help him grow some real deep feelings for you

 I think you’d be a great influence on him to help motivating him to put some more energy into his education. Although the only reason he would care more about that is the study times he can have with you, and it is up to you to decide if those sessions are actually studying together (read: you tutoring him and him staring at you in awe when you don’t look but can’t grasp the material) or if there’s an attempt but a couple minutes later he is talking about how to earn money fast and both of you try said method.

Helping him study sometimes would definitely help your self-esteem! I think he can come off as rather confident, so hanging around with people like him would definitely boost your confidence!

I think he would literally melt if someone put his well-being before themselves. Theres no going back now he is lovesick. I mean just think about all the times his brothers make fun of him. 

 I’m prettysure he is the best at making people laugh! He has no care in the world even if he has to do something dangerously dumb to make you smile!! 

He can be rather forgetful too so thats something the both of you have to work on if possible, but relationshipwise that should not cause conflicts. Sure he might forget about some stuff but it’s never your bday or a date with you because both of you are in love. 

I think he can try your hobbies to impress you or just to have another topic to talk about, but he will probably never be the best at drawing. I think the amount of music you listen to would drastically decrease as he is very good at occupying your mind - with positive thoughts! 

It is confirmed that he alsp enjoys videogames and he is good at them, so thats something you two can do together when you don’t really feel like going out. 

If you show him horror movies he will scream and will not be able to sleep well for 2 weeks but he is going to deny that with his life so good luck! 

 I think he would find it cute that you like frogs and rocks and stuff, he might tease you a bit about it at first but if he sees a frog on sale he will spend his money to give you a surprise frog! it will probably be some live magical frog (either poisonous or some weird demon magic frog that will have everyone in the house of lamentation end up in a comedic situation). So that was the last time he got you something he has no idea about without asking you first.  

Oh he would definitely tease you a lot about your vocabulary, but Levi would catch on you because you might not actually be a normie... And thats how Mammon gets too jealous to ever tease you again about something like that - how can he allow Levi to hang out with you :( 

And that brings us to both of you being easily jealous. In some cases that might end in conflicts because one person gets annoyed but in this particular case you just need to have a conversation about it. Set some boundaries both of you are okay with, and no issue! 

I think to make sure your time alone with Levi is more limited he would totally watch anime movies with you! 

He definitely adores your determination! If you ever ask him what he likes about you, he will probably mention this as one trait.

 Hmmm as I elaborated before, you knowing more stuff about things will probably prevent situations that would be caused by Mammon not being informed about some stuff.

Okay so he is definitely one who sends you memes at ungodly hours and you can’t stop him. He is awake, lying in bed, too in love to do anything besides think about you and smile and face the issues of being the local tsundere. And then you send him a meme full of love and he can not fall asleep for the rest of the night, feeling butterflies and imagining soft things with you like he did with nobody else before. 

Okay so I’m not sure about his dating experience, but as far as a know he doesn’t really have much either? in that case both of you could explore this new feeling together! 

So in conclusion this boy is very much in love and he can only hope that you feel the same. Both of you are a good influence o the other and that helps the two of you to grow together. He might have slightly more experience but that’s okay. I see no conflicts here, maybe the only exception being the fact that he can be rude towards you and you are sensitive, but he is quick to stop being rude once he sees why he is so wrong. And that will be the best decision of his life so far because not long after that he is very much in love for the first time in forever. Both of you are loyal to the other and jealousy means no issue. Well, after some conversation, that is. Both of you experience life together and theres always something to do, to see! 

[q-u-a-c-k]

rant that you can just skip over 😂 it's just detailed intrusive thoughts. and I'm continuing to rant about literally everything that goes through my brain so I am here writing this and not acting on thoughts or being stupid.

okay so this is a note from after I have written all that. and basically it's complaining and ranting about everything and hyperfixating on space and science in the end. in the middle I talk about my fears of love 😂 potentially triggering stuff? it's all nonsense you really dont have to read it. it was just to keep myself from doing something I shouldn't. so if you could be triggered by literally anything maybe dont? idk. I cant stop you but it's probably annoying and not interesting. if anyone does read it though let me know if I need to tag it anything.

So my brain has now decided that because there is no way I am sleeping tonight unless it's exhaustion, I get intrusive thoughts. fun! so rn it has been fixated on the fact that because I am closest to the outside. not hall door. that I could easily sneak out. which is very much not good idea, because 1) I dont live in this area, 2) it's still cold as fuck outside at night, 3) I would literally fucking get lost or caught immediately. So yeah :) I dont even know what I would do if I did go and I don't want to because I have an idea of what brain would say and that's a big no. it's especially big no because I'm too comfortable with the idea of it but I'm not allowed to. and I guess now it's kinda good because brain is thinking about how I miss my cat. I just wanna see my baby and be in my safe place with the people I'm actually comfortable with (cat and phone with online friends) like guys he's so fuckung adorable and what if he doesnt know why I'm not there right now. usually he sleeps in my room at night. so what if he's in my room waiting for me and I cant go see him. you're damn right that I'm crying about this. i just want my baby because he is my baby and an indicator of a safe place.

also I am so incredibly fucking uncomfortable. like I cannot sleep because 1) in a place I do not know 2) there are people (family) in the room that I am not comfortable letting my guard down around 3) there's so much noise from snoring (and from one sleep talking) 4) I am on the couch because when we go places I'm always the one who has to and it's a shitty pull out bed couch. it makes way too much noise that I have been in an uncomfortable position for over 3 hours because I dint want to disturb anyone else. and I can very easily feel like of the metal bars under the middle of my back 5) I am very cold. I forgot a blanket and I didnt get one because the room only gave us one extra one (I dont think we're supposed to have an extra person) ad my sister got it even though I'm the one by the outsid,door, window, and air conditioner which wont turn off. I at least have my flannel though to cover my legs 6) my head hurts so bad because it's the kind of headache that hurts to have eyes open, breath, or move around in general 7) my stomach hurts so bad because I had to eat because apparently people get hungry and are supposed to eat along with anxiety from literally all of this 8) I have not gotten to be alone for more than 10 minutes since the middle of Wednesday whereas usually I spend almsot all of my time alone (with cat and phone with online friends) in my safe place. 9) I have not stopped crying (not really like crying crying but like there has been tears or water from my eyes because for some reason they burn and some because of anxiety or missing cat. 10) I keep thinking that at any moment I close my eyes someone is going to break into the room or one of my family members are gonna do something (I literally dont know what, that's intrusive thoughts talking but I have previously freaked out because I thought they were gonna aliven't me for no reason) 11) When I'm somewhere I'm not used to I get really bad muscle cramps in my arms and legs and I am not having fun with that.

sorry that was a shit ton of complaining that nobody should have read or give a shit about. so sorry if anyone actually read that?

also Allison, if you actually do read this (istg you really dont have to. like I said this is just my train of thoughts written to prevent me from doing anything. I am not watching wandavision until later today 😂 and I am staying off the discord server I joined becuas of potential spoilers.

anyways continuation of rants and complaints. I really want to put the phone down and attempt to sleep even though I know I'm not gonna be able to and for that reason I have to write here because I do not trust myself with my brain being like this rn. but I wanna put phone down so bad because my eyes hurt and my head hurts from having eyes open.

and I really wanna just get my earbuds out and have controlled noise and potentially fall asleep but that would take noise louder than them to drown them out but any noise already is hurting my head and earbuds sound really uncomfortable right now.

also I'm starting to get really cold again because the flannel was working for a little but I think that was because I had to move a little bit to get it out and on my legs and I haven't been moving.

also my sister (sleep.talker) has been just making noises and mumbling all night except just now she went "eww" and rolled over and continued snoring and sleeping. so that's fun. totally didnt scare me.

oh my God it's fuckung almost 3:30 I just wanna sleep. at this rate I dont care in what way it happens, but I want sleep in the next 10 minutes so I cannot be aware of how uncomfortable or in pain I am.

my back (which usually already has back pain) connot stand to lay on the bar in this position anymore so I have to move but it's so loud and I dont wanna wake anyone up or move into a worse position but feel bad for moving.

I have now moved and I dont THINK I woken anyone up. back is better but head hurts so much more now because of movement and I am now laying on my knee which I have a lot of problems with and am not having a fun time.

idk what to talk about. I want sleep or to at least put phone down but like I said multiple times I do not trust my brain rn so I have to keep writing stuff. and I dont want to just keep complaining but idk what to talk about and complaining is easiest rn because I was out in an uncomfortable situation by coming with them and I didnt want to in the first place but would not be able to stay home.

I am now gonna talk about sleep and my thoughts about it. I like being asleep but I also dont. I like being not awake but most of the time do not like the dreams I have. but sleep itself is such an interesting concept. like the body forces itself to shut down and put you unconscious to like rest itself or repair before continuing to function. and it's like (supposed to be) on a specific or close to schedule. like youre supoosed to have a schedule for when you're unconscious. and this is completely normal. a part of our society is actually shaped around this too? like at certain times around the world it gets all dark and the world goes quiet for a while. idk I just think it's really interesting. maybe it's not idk lmao.

and now brain wants to talk about how and why I am afraid to love. :). brain is afraid to love because that means I have to be vulnerable to someone and that's just so terrifying to do, especially being someone who is different than a lot of the heteronormative society. like I absolutely love my friends. and once I'm comfortable around them, I'm gonna tell them that I love them as much as I can (but also dont want to make them uncomfortable). because if I finally feel comfortable enough around you to be vulnerable and accept that I love you despite brain's overwhelming urge to say I don't and be invulnerable and safe, I'm gonna tell you that as much as I can that I love you. because it literally happens so little in my life that I actually really trust someone. so if I tell you I love you I mean it (and it tells you I trust you). like seriously, I barely even say it to my mom because I'm so on guard and trying to watch my back around her. and I dont think I say it to the rest of my family. unless it's my grandparents I'm gonna tell them that because I think I do just in a different way of your my grandparent and you're family. and I occasionally say it to my irl best friend because there's still a lot I'm on guard about because I haven't told her a lot of things so we're not as close as you'd think. but if you're reading this I have probably told you i love you. and i know Allison i tell you as much as i can because I think yyou'rethe absolute top person that I trust and love, so i try to tell you a lot. because I love you!! you're like my entire found family 😂

but now we're gonna talk about reasons why I'm terrified to be in love romantically. Because I dont think i have actually liked someone romantically or really ever be romantically interested in anyone. I have thought about it because I felt like I had to tell myself I was ( I was not). like i thought I had a crush on someone once but I think it was because I was unable to be their friend at the time that I wanted to be their friend even more. and because I never really got to pick my friends I didnt know what it was like to actually want to be friends with someone. but thinking about someone romantically I just cant really do. because I don't want to get into a romantic relationship if I don't know if I'm gonna like them romantically at all. do people like people romantically when they first go out with someone? or do they just say I kinda like this person let's try it out? because that just doesnt make sense to me and idk. and it could very well be that I'm just to young to know yet. because I still dont even know what I would want from a romantic relationship. like... Idk what there is for me to want or what's different to loving your friends besides calling them something else? and the whole having to trust that this person likes you in a specific way that you might like them before you take it far enough and get hurt because they just don't feel the same? or you're the one that's not really sure and potentially hurt someone else? I know people say it's just a risk you're gonna have to take but I dont want to take a risk like that. I dont mind being hurt from it myself but in terrified at the thought that I could potentially hurt someone because I just dint feel a certain way. and I still dont know what the difference is between friend love or romantic love to be able to judge or risk that? like seriously what is different? because I mean, maybe affection like have someone to hug or cuddle? but you could do that with friends and it should be a normal thing to have with your friends. but ig this still is a fucked up society that thinks everything has to be more than what it really is. and it just leaves people touch starved because of it. idk. maybe one day I'll figure it out, but how it's just Greek and foreign to me. idfk.

well that was fun. now it's 4 and I need something else to talk about because even if I do potentially fall alseep soon, I do not want those to be my last thoughts and possibly have dream about it (dreams for me are typically not good).

I think I see the moon. it's either a moon or a parking lot light. and I know the moon is either full or very close to full (I'm pretty sure it's just very. close) but I wish all of those lights outside were off and possibly have a new moon so I could see the stars. I love the stars so much. i love the moon, too, but right now it's very bright. but I wish I was more into astronomy and knew more about it. because that's also something that's very interesting to me is space and the stars. I wanna be someone who knows about all of the constellations. but I have a horrible memory and absolutely would not be able to remember 88 different stories. although I'd want to. even though most of them or a bunch are just Zeus being a dick. but more to the science side of the stars is so interesting to me that they're soooooo far away. like they're literally incomprehensibly far away. like I cannot comprehend how big a football field is without see one, I'm agine being able to comprehend the distance of light years? like I know we know how far it is but I'm pretty sure human minds cannot comprehend how far that ACTUALLY is. even if we know it's a LOT. and isnt it cool how we're able to know there are other planets outside of the solar system? I believe it's 4 different planets that we know of that are MORE inhabitable than earth. like better to live on. and they have either older or stronger stars that wouldn't die out as fast as our sun. although there comes the debate of if we should be able to go to them. it's a very debatable question, but I think overall the answer would be no. because humans have fucked up an entire planet, why should we be allowed to do it to another? like it realize it's literally a percent of humans that fucked it up for the rest of the planet, but humans have an inner need to have power over everyone else and other things and would stop at nothing to get what they want. humans could so easily become corrupt and destroy other planets too. it's kind of a fucked up thing to say, but I feel like maybe humans should die out with our planet. like of course it's not fair to the ones who haven't had the chance to live a life yet. but it was never fair to the other creatures humans killed for their own needs. like we have caused extinction several times. karma will get you back in the end ig. and it would be cool to know but obviously we wouldnt be able to know, if a species even smarter than humans evolved and kept the peace on earth, even as the ruling species? ruling sounds wrong but idk what else to call it. whatever we are above everything else is what they would be. but it would be so amazing to know what smarter beings are alive or could eventually live. like that's so fucking cool.

anyways I should probably try to sleep or put phone down because now brian doesnt have time to let me do anything I shouldnt. it's 4:30 😂 someone is probably gonna wake up soon because idk.

[pixs-pinings]

Me? Interested in Persona 5? No wayyy...

Warning for long post!

I had this written differently before I accidentally closed this tab, but I recovered the infodump well!

So... Yeah, Ribbon! My Persona 5 SI, my Phantom Thief SI. Still want to work on a possible real name- I wanted to go with a continuation of the plot threads I thought of with my P4 si, but... nah. Two separate SIs. Even if P5 si was also from the real world, I want them to be different for. Reasons.

She would awaken in the same place as Makoto- Kaneshiro's palace. I want to slip her in somewhere, and I feel like that case would feel the most... Natural? After futaba, a lot of shit picks up, and, as seen with Haru, can be a bit awkward. (And... Yes. I'm going to try to make that arc...... Not Suck? Maybe keep Morgana self loathing but...)

As for her awakening itself... She and Makoto have similar reasons! Both of them were previously known as prim and proper students, but then awaken to a sense of Justice, and are able to go all out. After looking a bit into myself, I was like "wow Makoto really is sorta like how I would awaken maybe" because like... I want to fight against injustice and hatred in society, but I'm scared because of the law- and, like Makoto, in p5, I could snap past that. Fuck the law, I want to stop people from being HURT by society's ineptitude. Haha...

Also, a reason for the involvement in the first place- Kaneshiro's reach is... far. Its very possible that people in Kosei were affected- and, in fact, judging by Yusuke being able to gather information, they were. So... Say that one of Ribbon's friends were being used... selling her body, perhaps... Hmmm...

Yes, both Makoto and my p5 SI- can I call her just Ribbon for now?- are third year students at their school. Yes, for Ribbon's backstory, I think I want her to be a Kosei student! Maybe there because of an art scholarship- writing??- or maybe a financial education scholarship, or maybe just that whoever her guardians are, biological or not, they sent her to that school with the money they had. But... Third year. I am 19 irl- and she would be 18 during the majority of the story, turning 19 in that february because surprise I'm a February baby.

Oh, yes, and her costume! She's a magical girl. Supposed to be based off of one- I gave her ribbons and feathers and a poofy dress and high boots with thick soles and gloves... Also, her mask is simple, but... I had the base form of a butterfly, and added on some mask details and also feathers. The ribbons on the lower part of her dress are more noticeable, though. Hence, her name of Ribbon. Unless y'all can think of any better...

As for WHY magical girls? Well, she thought magical girls were cool! Yes, this reflects on me! Ribbon watched magical girl shows ever since she was a young child, and always got this idea of fighting off evil by using bright magic! And punches. And kicks. When Ribbon grew older, while she never grew out of it, she tried to keep it to the back of her mind. She always still kept an eye on one of the magical girl shows- hmm... Beauty Cure? Beaucure? (Yes. Based on Precure.) And it was pulled back to the front with her awakening, because that's always the type of stuff she liked believing in- a magical force of good fighting against forces of evil... OUTSIDE OF THE NORMAL FIGHT AGAINST EVIL SOCIETY TRIES TO DO... Yeah. Mhm. Doesn't that seem familiar.

Oh, yes, I'm going to call the SI by the name of Ribbon- still unsure of if I should use Pix or if I should make up a japanese name that fits a bit closer to my real one, haha.

Her role of the team is... Well, sorta like a magical girl? She has light attacks, which does include the instant kill ones later (points @ magical girls and the series having magical attacks be the magical girl's finishing move), but she also can serve another role... Providing Buffs and giving Debuffs. I mean, magical girl power ups over the season is like a buff... And their attacks debuff the enemy... I would be tempted to also give her some healing things... Maybe later. After all, there are buff moves that are like "gain all three buffs at once!" And she'll get those! So maybe she can also be the status healer...? Dunno. Haven't really watched battle gameplay of p5- even if it's fancy, its... Boring to watch. Oops. Battle dynamics...

As for who her Persona is... I haven't thought of it. I haven't even looked into it either. I was thinking... Her first Persona would be probably an ancient magical girl? Pfft. Funny to say it like that. Maybe a fictional magical girl who was definitely outside the bounds of rules. Maybe villain, maybe hero. Her second persona would... be a goddess. Not the goddess of Magic, since. (stares at Ann.) But. A goddess of something important. Light? Hmm.

Her weapon is... A staff. Kinda a stick, but also it IS something to hurt with. Swing it around, smack someone in the side or head... Use it to adjust your position... Twirling it around... A magical girl doesn't use conventional weapons.

Oh, yeah! Here's where I closed out of the tab by accident. I went to go look at something and my phone pulled a trick on me... Anyway, moving on...

Futaba Sakura is 4'11. Ribbon is 5'. Short squad! Ribbon is irritated about getting teased for it, but is indeed 18- during the story, anyway- and just... Hasn't. Grown. Makoto is 5 inches taller. Interesting.

Ribbon's (outside of battle) role is... well, data gathering, and plan pulling. Makoto thinks of the plans, and can, indeed, push them out to the team... But for group planning sessions, Ribbon is the one listening to everyone's suggestions, and then addressing them... and giving them to the leader to mull over, as well. Make sure everyone is heard.

Oh, idea there... Ribbon also, like me, used to be a theater kid! It helped her grow more used to people around her, more used to speaking, and also technical details on things. Even if she isn't all outgoing, she still shows influences of it with analogies she makes sometimes.

(Spoilers for P5... Brief Warning. Skip to next parantheses for past that spoiler gone.)

During the Phantom Thieves' plans to decieve Akechi into believing he is totally fooling them, Ribbon could easily be very important with that acting experience. While coming up with the plan, Ribbon will definitely state theater terms, backstage, actors, scene changes... And she will definitely help the others get more into character. Staring at you, Ann... For a more believable lie... pull forth a truth similar to this situation and keep that tucked next to your heart... say your lines... and then, when that's over, let it go.

(Spoilers over! Yayyy)

So. Have you guessed who i want to f/o yet? If the answer is yes, congrats, you ain't blind to subtext!

Ribbon's costume is definitely on the lighter side! And... Yes, its definitely pink based. Solid pink ribbons... Light, soft pink dress... A mainly pink mask... I do think the feathers are another color, with those little x marker things that most of the feathers belonging to sharing a similar color, though maybe a different shade. I am... Not good with costume design, though. The accents on her mask would be similar colors to it...

Her hair is black. Darker than Makoto's, yes. She is light skinned, with barely a tan forming on her. Her mask actually covers up her obvious freckles on her face! Her arms, however, still have their freckles showing. (Not in the picture, because i forget about my arm freckles a lot...) (Also not in the picture is the frills on her dress but shhhh)

As for her Confidant? Uh... Hmm... To get to know her... Oh! She can show you her art and writing, sort of brush off her achievements with it because haha not as good as Yusuke Kitagawa's more official art... And her confidant would be helping her tap more into her confident side, whether it be for her own personal projects, or even for her just in society in general! While not as bad as Futaba, she still doesn't like approaching other people... And when that happens, and maybe culminates in her verbally cussing at someone who's been pressing her down for a while now and getting them to lay off her thanks to that newfound confidence. Not a Mementos Target, though she does bring that up but brushes it off as 'just a petty bully thing', but something she deals with herself!

.... Oh, Arcana... Uh. I think... you know how the Jester arcana was like... Another version of the Fool? Wait, the Thoth deck doesn't have an alt Priestess...? Fuck. Uh. Congrats, Akira! You get SUPER DUPER PRIESTESS BONUS. ... Please help

For her Confidant Ability.... Probably something to do with her Magical Girl influnces? The first idea I thought of was like... being able to be a temporary "safe" zone- while in the palace, she could... extend her magical girl light out and create a Barrier that prevents the shadows from noticing her. It will always stay a temporary ability, of course, since otherwise would pribably negate difficulty? But the period would become longer as her confidant goes up. The period of time would be extremly cut down during the times of actually stealing a treasure- after all, the palace ruler is EXPECTING the phantom thieves. No amount of magical girl protecting light would hide that expectation... Or. Something like that.

Also, her last skill. Instead of being like... Making the ability of protecting/anti detecting light last practically forever, its a SUPER STRONG BATTLE ABILITY. What is it? Well... uh... Still have to decide. My current idea has to do with a magical girl blast. Like, activate her light ability right as you get into a battle, and that actually does something- fires a big blast as the battle starts and inflicts damage on the enemy... Hmm. That, or she gets a special version of the all out attack that always kills? Has to be her leading the all out attack, though. What do y'all think...?

Oh, speaking of all out attacks! Hers (or her normal one if I go with the second idea in the above paragraph) would have her landing, spinning around, and doing a sharp "v" pose with her fingers, standing tall and with a grin. Think... Uh... Sailor Moon? I looked up some images and a few I found, with the peace sign arm outstretched, fit that mental image. The other hand would be on her hip, and, of course, she would be winking. Ah, girl vibes.

Yes. I am aware that could be similar to Ann. When i thought of it, i was like "hmmm" but then was like "I do that! and also there's a different between a lean and a wink with the peace sign to your chin rather than a stand/slight slouch and a wink and a peace sign held upward rather than close to the body"

Also, her little line in the background would be "light has prevailed!" In like... Bubbly letters? And it looks like light is shining from behind the letters.

Sure, Ribbon would have a romance route with Akira... but I don't consider that canon. It would make sense that he could POSSIBLY fit my type? But. Nah. Not SUPER attached. Pal at most. Speaking from outside here... In game, with the friendship forming? Maybe so. Anyway, not canon.

Oh my god i just realized Queen and Ribbon have like... Opposite sorta aesthetics. Dark Biker to Light Mage.

Anything else I can think of... Oh, a spoilerly thing.

(I don't believe I can think of anything else to say, so for those who want to be unspoiled on certain things in p5, end of post is the next paranthesis. For others...)

For her reaction to the announcement of Akira's "suicide", it would be something like... Well... A hand to her mouth, and a furrow to her brow... but she doesn't sound like she is going to cry. Instead, she goes, "Ah...", like... Realizing. Like a "hmmm" tone instead of one trying to hold back tears. And then like... Ryuji's scene is after that. And those of you who have seen the scene know what the scene is. So like, if the player was confused by Ribbon, Ryuji smacks them with a direct confirmation.

(And... That's it! Sorry for the long post, I am both unsure of if the read more code trick works on mobile anymore and also am unsure of, if it does work, which version of the trick is the correct one. Because i remember two different versions. Fuck.)

[irregardlessly-tish]

🌟🎁💎💛🎨🐧🐵💫🎀👻💗 -cat

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

I like being pretty smart? It’s sometimes annoying in the way of “ignorance is a blessing”, you know? But I learn stuff quickly, I hardly ever had trouble understanding stuff, in general, I feel like I’m quite smart or I just think I am, without being pretentious. The only time I remember someone ever acting annoyed like I was being a smart-ass was my then BFF in high school but I was kind of lecturing her for getting in trouble in a stupid way. Also, most of the time when someone tells me “oh you’re really smart!” I’m like akhdskjds n-no wtf. I also have a good memory, which I don’t like to put in the same category as being smart because you could recite an entire book from memory without having any clue of what it really says, what it means, etc. just knowing stuff doesn’t equal being intelligent, you could say it’s just like being a parrot repeating what you heard someone else say but it’s useful to remember lots of things. I kind of get annoyed when people say “oh you’re smart” just because I know things that I’m able to remember if that makes sense? Like it’s not knowledge I’ve produced, I take some pride in being able to have this big library in my head but that doesn’t make me smart, I didn’t create this, I didn’t write these books? Anyway, all this stuff aside, I have GREAT hair, I’ve always had really amazing hair and I’ve hardly ever done anything to achieve this magnificent mane which is pretty annoying to many people I’ve met that ask me what hair products I use. The same way I take personal offense when people are like ‘i dont exercise and I can eat whatever I want without getting fat lol’. The times I thought well maybe I should take better care of it were the times it probably looked worse so I honestly find it better to just let it grow, cut the tips once a year or even less, DO NOT WASH YOUR HAIR EVERY DAY, once or twice a week is enough. I know the process of going “more natural” is greasy but then your head gets used to it and your scalp won’t feel greasy even if you spend 5 days without washing your hair. Or at least in my case, but I’ve read many people say the same so idk, I’m not a hair expert, I can’t take a lot of credit for my hair, I’ve been lucky with it lol

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

Animals, my pets especially make me very happy unless they are blatantly ignoring me. Sleeping is usually a very good one too, but not always because of the nightmares and stress dreams. Watching Jenna Marbles’ videos I think never fails to make me laugh.

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

Well, I could use a lot more wealth than I currently have, I think it’s obvious why: we live in a shitty world and money rules over us. From the first answer, I guess you could tell i think quite highly about my current levels of intelligence lol beauty is relative, I sometimes think I’m the ugliest creature to ever walk on this goddamned earth, other times I think I’m just a normal person and at the rarest times I’m like “hey, I actually look pretty good!” so idk, I could be the most beautiful person to current beauty standards and I’d probably still feel the same. Kindness? I don’t think I’m a bad person either so I don’t think I’d need more. I could also use more bravery in my life but if I had more money I could probably get better therapy and hopefully those therapists would help me overcome my fears. I don’t need to be fearless, that usually leads to recklessness, being afraid isn’t bad per se but have crippling fears so I just need to overcome that and then it’s over for you bitches

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

I have no clue. I sometimes think of what I could’ve done better, had I known how things turned out but I only know what happened to me in this time-line. Life doesn’t offer binary life choices. It’s not a “you picked this, then this happened, if you had picked the other option then the opposite would have occurred”, I don’t know if there’s a message I could’ve received when I was younger to prevent me from becoming suicidal, I don’t know if that was always in me? So I can’t think of a message to my younger self that’d genuinely helped me in a way I’d like so I think it’s better not to say anything.

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

Hmm, mostly simple shaped like hearts or stars if it’s like idle doodling but if I’m putting a little bit of thought into it I doodle pokémon or just try to come up with human poses that don’t look too weird

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

These are the kind of questions that kill me (with favorites or picking top3 etc) ‘cause as you can see I’m not very good at keeping stuff simple and concise. Let’s see: moody, convoluted, whatever.

🐵 which quotes changed you?

I don’t think there’s one. There are quotes that I like but I don’t think anything “changed me” since I can’t think of any life-changing revelations lol I supposed that if there was one it’d come to my mind immediately

💫 who inspires you?

The only person that comes to my mind for these kinds of questions is Jenna Marbles. I’ve been following her for years and I think she’s beautiful inside and out, extremely funny and smart but also kinda weird.

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

I don’t even know how to describe it, I just wear clothes

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

I guess I do, maybe spirits but not ghosts in the sense of a floating semi-transparent shape of a person that once lived but now is around you in your house making scary noises and making stuff fall? I believe in immortal souls but I have no idea how they are, what they look like, or what they do once the body is dead. Why? Because it’s kind of sad and a bit scary to think that our bodies are all there is of us.

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

Probably my BFF Luby who I haven’t actually met irl but I do love her, she’s like the little sister I never had

[tinypigeonlord]

Don’t mind me, just have had a lot of thoughts on the new Pokemon game so imma write them down. There’s been a lot of posts and videos on what people wanna see or don’t wanna see in the new game too and I wanna give my own two cents to no one in particular.

So first of all graphics. I hear a lot of shit on that. Personally I don’t really have all that many expectations? Like yeah it’s gonna be a Switch game, the quality could possibly be better than we’ve seen. But also did people look over that ‘game footage not final’? Things may still improve and be further optimized. More than that, I love the artstyle atleast? Everything looks so colorful and vibrant and alive and goooood ;w; It sure got my attention. I can’t wait to see all the new areas on my big tv <3

Pokemon popping up and roaming vs random encounters: On one hand I love how lively everything looks with pokemon showing up in the overworld, on the other hand I love the random encounters? I personally liked hunting down specific pokemon, not knowing what I would encounter. I feel like this is also more fun when you’re doing a Nuzlocke; You can’t ‘cheat’ and select a pokemon from those that are currently roaming with random encounters. Aside from that, people mentioned that the roaming aspect made areas look more vacant instead because a lot of open space is needed for bigger pokemon roaming. And finally, it makes the surprise way more fun if a shiny shows up in a random encounter, instead of roaming between the rest of the ‘mon?

Pokemon following you/walking with you: PLS PLS PLS bring this back and expand on it, for all pokemon. Also the option to select which partymember you want to walk with. That was one thing that bummed me out in HeartGold/SoulSilver. If I wanted to walk with my fave, I also needed to have it in the front of the party and throw it out in battle, even in areas where it was at a disadvantage due to type or level. And sometimes I had a pokemon in front for the sake of progression but I didnt necessarily want to walk with it, but there was no option to turn walking off in HG/SS. I believe they did add these options in Let’s Go Pikachu/Eevee, but I havent played these games so I don’t know for sure what the options are. I kinda also want to have the option to pick whether I will walk with a ride pokemon or actually ride it? Like, it was hella cool that you could ride arcanine, persian, haunter or snorlax, etc. But what if I wanted it to just follow me? :/ What I also want back is the national dex once you completed the main story. Let most of the pokemon which first appear be gen 8, and after you beat the main game, pokemon from other generations show up more and you can catch new pokemon that were previously unavailable. I hated how in SuMo, I couldnt see a pokemon’s national dex number, and couldnt get any data on it if it wasnt native to Alola. 

Also this is gonna sound surprising coming from a shiny hunter, but I want the shiny charm to be a reward for filling the entire national dex again (minus mythicals/events), and make the shiny rate 1/8192 again instead of 1/4091. As much as I love my shinies, I kinda feel like they’re becoming a really common thing and way too easy to obtain? I do like there being methods to find shinies easier, such as Masuda breeding, chain-fishing, SOS-chaining, etc, but make it atleast a little bit harder than it currently is, to make all that effort worth it.

Compatibility with pokebank/the 3DS titles!! I want to transfer all my precious bbies I caught over the years to come join me in the next adventure. That would make it even more awesome if walking pokemon also returns; I can walk with my faves then, not just the pokemon available in Sword/Shield. Also Cloud compatibility. I know Nintendo is afraid of people abusing Cloud to edit save files and I can see them not adding cloud for Pokemon to prevent peeps from somehow cloning or editing pokemons, but on the other hand... Right now, I have ALL my rare, valuable pokemon stored on a Ultra Sun cartridge. Every super rare shiny legendary I spent MONTHS on to encounter, every event pokemon from events that will never happen again, and every pokemon that has nostalgic value to me. If that game cartridge breaks, they’re all gone. If Cloud storage would be a thing for pokemon, I’d have a lot less anxiety about gathering all my babies on a single game with the risk of losing ALL OF THEM. Besides, I pay for online service and cloud, and thusfar havent been able to use the feature for my games :/

And definitely compatibility with pro controller. I really do not like the feel of the joycons, nor the pokeball plus, especially not after playing for a few hours, so I’m really hoping we’ll be able to use the pro controller. Considering we seem to be getting the old battle system back instead of Let’s Go’s, I don’t see why they shouldn’t add pro controller compatibility. Besides, I spent a lot of money on this thing, lemme use it >:v

Customization. The new trainers look absolutely adorable, but being able to make your trainer fit your style more is still great and makes things more personal. On one hand I’d love even more options for customization than in SuMo, on the other hand I fear I will never even get anywhere cause I’ll be spending hours mixing and matching outfits :’D I am not at all fashionable irl, but my characters in games have to look tip top. Most importantly, I want gender-neutral stuff!! As in, the option to wear clothes or hairstyles regardless of the gender you picked at the beginning. Give me a girl and the female pronouns, but the option to get the haircut that the boys get and that flannel he wears. For example.

Minigames! Not everyone is a fan of them, but personally I love things like Contests, PokeAthlon, the Underground, Missions in the Festival Plaza, etc. Especially multiplayer stuff. Give me other stuff to do besides battling. And on that note give me fun multiplayer features; besides trading and battling! The feature where you can call for another trainer in Let’s Go seemed fun to me. Being able to connect with other players and joining them in your game to do stuff together. Like how you can invite people to your town in Animal Crossing, go to the island and take on island challenges from Tortimer.

Story-wise, it would be great to have a big long story, also post-game, which doesn’t end too soon, but with the option to skip cutscenes if you so please, and more importantly, have the freedom to also explore. In Sun/Moon, you were constantly forced to go to a very specific location, everything else was blocked, and you had a cutscene every new area. Like, it was all very linear. I love the older games in that regard, where there is a story, but you figure out yourself how to progress without NPCs constantly telling you where to go and what to do. I always have this issue where after I’m done with the story, I’m kind of... lost on what to do next, so personally I love a long story to keep me busy. Give me a serious threat for the antagonists. Team Skull was lovely and I enjoyed their antics, but I want to feel like I’m saving the Galar region or even bigger, rather than just stomping on some bullies, PETA (Plasma) or fashion disasters (Flare). Also gimme an asshole rival. Lately we’ve had a bunch of precious bbies who must be protected, now bring back a rival who deserves an asswhooping and had it coming. :v As for the new gyms with gym masters instead of leaders, I have no opinion yet. I like the good ol’ themed gyms, I liked the trials. The arena thing looks pretty neat thusfar, but there’s not enough info yet for me to have much of an opinion now. I heard a rumor that this game will also have missions you can do to earn rewards & brownie points, and that would be really cool. I always really love missions in RPGs. I’m just hoping that there will be like, a combination of one-time missions AND daily missions so you don’t run out of things to do eventually after completing a whole list.

I’m also hoping that any potential mythical pokemon will come in the form of missions. The whole serial codes giveaways suck. Just entering a code for some random delivery man to appear in the pokemon center, just casually handing you a super rare mythical pokemon like it’s nothing is just bs. Give me new story, sidequests or missions DLC for a mythical pokemon instead. Like Celebi in Crystal + HG/SS, Mew in Emerald, Shaymin and Darkrai in Platinum, and then expand the missions even more. Pokemon Ranger actually did this really well; you had to go on a mission involving the pokemon before you got it.

Finally, maybe a difficulty setting. People always complain that the games are too easy and that you have to use self-imposed rules such as Nuzlockes to make it remotely challenging. Maybe add a normal or easy mode for young kids just getting into the games, including tutorials such as the trainer school so they can get used to how everything works. Make a harder setting for veterans who like the games to have some challenge but are still in it for the story, and a Very Hard/Ultimate mode for competitive players who know every in and out of the game and are looking for a challenge where you really have to balance your team out and know what you’re doing to progress, and for people who can’t care less about the story elements of the games.

[chicohungers24-7]

Major vent idc if you read this or not this is just a warning

I'm not committing suicide I swear but I want to die so so so bad.

My life seems so fucking easy on the outside but then I think about it and I just want it to end so bad

Living in America as a black afab trans teenager (shout out to the state of Florida being a shithole) is legitimately the worst thing in my life. I don't feel safe walking in my own neighborhood (partially contributed to the frequently lose dogs but I'm so scared I'm gonna die or be kidnapped or murdered I'm so paranoid)

I have zero irl friends and I literally moved here almost a year ago. It's almost the end of the school year and I've found no one. I'm so lonely.

I'm not even really suicidal. I don't have the courage to s/h or to make a plan or anything I'm just trapped in my stupid head thinking about death and not being able to do anything about it. I've been depressed for five years that's a third of my life there's literally nothing left there for me Im going to be fucked up forever

Only my dad is with me rn (mom is deployed :)))) and I don't feel safe talking about my feelings to him. He just retired and still refuses to get therapy about his ptsd (I'm so hypocritical LOL) and so all his reactivity issues are pushed onto me (and my poor dog. I can't die now. Not while she's alive I couldn't leave her with him)

Speaking of retiring and deploying lol being a military brat (hate that term) is SO traumatizing everyone is like oh you're so resilient and patriotic lol no I never want to fight for this stupid fucking country it ruined my life and my parents and the only "good" thing out of this is the stupid g.i. Bill and idk if I'll even make it to college. It's given me so much anxiety and depression and trauma istg I hate the military I never want to join I feel so violent when I see the stupid recruiters at my school. Also I might be autistic?? A lot of the anecdotes my mom tells me of when I was a child + stuff I know now might point towards it (not necessarily a bad thing but it just makes me more paranoid about cops killing me 😳)

God the paranoia is awful. I hate walking to school in the dark. I have to always check if my garage is closed cuz when im home alone (which is often thanks dad) he likes to drive out and forget to close it. But also if I lock the door to the garage he bangs on it super loud and it scares some nights I check that shit like five times over. Or like the weird metal bar that prevents the door from opening to the backyard. He told me some really graphic shit one time I left it open and now I check that all the time too. He's really graphic for some reason actually lol he told me was was gonna kill me when I was like. 11. And he says he always has a plan to kill people. Gee I wonder why I flinch.

I'm writing this all in one go it's like 2230 LMFAO I've made it a habit of staying up all night looking at triggering content until my phone starts to die and then I go to sleep past midnight.

Kinda stupid ngl. It just adds to the depression. Staying up late. Waking up early. Not wanting to get out of bed. I hate my stupid school and my racist classmates

I was a gifted child once lol. I miss it. Kinda ruined my school life though. I'm still smart too I just CAN'T do school. It'd be so much easier if I had friends but I'm so scared of rejection literally the only reason I had friends through 6-9th grade (freshman year kinda killed that friendship though) is cuz the kids at my bus literally chased me to say hi I honestly sound so pathetic right now omg I'm so scared I annoy everyone even though I hardly interact with people and even the people I interact with I'm scared will leave me. It's so funny that I'm scared of abandonment when I'm the kid that was moving. I abandoned people. I think freshman year changed that. I had stayed virtual for the first quarter. The friend in my grade had met new people cuz she went brick in mortar. My other friend was a grade higher and always had other friends

I just want the normal childhood of having childhood friends and knowing everyone at school but I don't and I'm a stupid lonely loser with no one. No one knows me. My teachers can't tell something is wrong because the entire time they've known me I've been depressed I guess they just think I'm a loser

I just want friends so bad. I want to hangout with people after school that actually enjoy my company. I was in a d&d club for someone's research project and they were all friends and I was just the odd duck and I looked so stupid I'm front of them why did I do that that was the dumbest decesion ever

I wish I had the courage to commit suicide. Or try. Or do fucking anything other than cry at night (which is a new development! Second night in a row. Better than just being a husk ig)

A year ago I actually went to a doctor about depression (well more for adhd but I didn't have it and he just focused on my depression) and I got DIAGNOSED and he was like therapy (didn't work) and SSRIs could work :) and then my dad was like no. No medication. Thanks dad. I want to die. And I'm stuck with you in this stupid state

I just want courage. To get help. Or to die. Idc which. Looking at depressing shit isn't helping I'm such an idiot I just need someone to help me please I want someone to notice. Someone that can help please but no I'm venting on Tumblr dot com where no one knows me I so obviously don't want to die I just want pain to end but it won't because I'm too much of a coward to help myself. I literally walk through the hallways just thinking about dying. I wanted covid to kill me. I wanted the shot to kill me. Why can't I do it myself what's wrong with me I can't even be suicidal correctly I feel like a meme saying I just want to be happy

I'm posting this just so I can let it out. I'm sorry if it triggers anyone. I'll tag it the best I can

[ineedrelationshipadvice]

My gf doesn't remember the last time she's been to the dentist and i (f) confronted her about it, saying i don't to risk anything. Now shes upset at me but she understands why im concerned. I went to other people online (These people definitely were not professional but most my irl friends are also her friends and i don't want them to tell her about it and worry her even more)

WELL, speaking as an unprofessional asshole who just needed a root canal because I haven't had the money to afford the dentist in like four years, THIS QUESTION IS KINDA RELEVANT TO MY CURRENT LIFE CIRCUMSTANCE.

Anyway, I think an the biggest thing to take away from this situation is WHY does your girlfriend not go to the dentist, or why has she not seen the dentist? As I've just said for myself, the reason I didn't go to the dentist in a long time is I literally couldn't. My finances don't afford that luxury, and I got booted off of insurance because I literally couldn't afford it and Trump decided to let Obamacare writhe into death (MAGA, my dudes). Becoming destitute is a pretty good reason not to do something; it's not ideal, but hopefully you see why I wouldn't go personally. Only when my situation became dire (my tooth dies forever) did I finally need to visit the dentist, and so I did. It's not great for my finances, but hey, better than losing my tooth or being in pain.

What is HER reason for not going? Is she also struggling with money? Is she uninsured, or under-insured, so she's worried about the cost? This is a fair reason, and unless you're going to pay her to visit the dentist (I don't think you should do that), then you can't really hope to change her mind some. Beyond trying to ask her to save up some money to visit the dentist, you don't have a lot of leeway here.

Is she scared of the dentist? Dental fear is a valid problem for a lot of people, and it is sometimes completely out of the person's control for why hey have that fear or anxiety to visit the dentist. If this is the case, the best options here are reminding them the health needs related to the dentist, helping them find a dentist that would suit them that you both can trust, and perhaps even asking them to seek out a therapist to see if there are any underlying reasons why this fear or anxiety is manifesting in your partner.

Is she just stubborn or anti-medicine about the whole affair? Does she have the whole, "MY TEETH ARE FINE, SO I DON'T EVEN GOTTA WORRY ABOUT THEM" attitude? That's a fine opinion to have, of course, but it's not based in reality, and thus not a good argument for her to hold. Part of the harsh reality is you might not really be able to change her mind if your partner is really dug in on this issue. If she just really doesn't want to visit the dentist, then not much you can say will probably convince her. All that means is that eventually she's going to get hit with a really severe issue one day (like me), and she's going to have to suffer a lot, and deal with a lot of problems. If she is not the type that is easily convinced, then sadly, you may just have to wait for this mistake to manifest itself.

Okay, but what CAN you do in this situation? One thing is making sure at very least she's maintaining good dental hygiene. Basically, you're playing dentist for her. You may not be a professional, and your advice is not gospel. But let's be real, if she at least does what you say, and follows good general advice, it would prevent any horrific problems from being life-alteringly terrible. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! IT'S TIME FOR A CRASH COURSE IN DENTISTRY, FROM YOUR UNFRIENDLY RELATIONSHIP ADVICE DUDE ON THE INTERNET WHO IS NOT A DENTIST AND SHOULD NOT BE TRUSTED AT ALL BECAUSE HE JUST GOT A ROOT CANAL BUT HEY IT'S THE ONLY PROBLEM HE'S HAD IN SIX YEARS SO HE MUST BEING DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.

BRUSH YA FUCKIN' TEETH ASSHOLE. Hey, wowie, I bet you didn't know this, but brushing your teeth removes gross shit off them, meaning that gross shit doesn't rot your fucking teeth like some fuckin' monster. Don't be an idiot and brush your teeth. At least once per day is basically mandatory. Twice a day is better than 90% of the population. And if you brush your teeth after every meal, you're basically a god.

FLOSS. Yeah, I know, who the fuck flosses. I certainly don't. But that's because I'm an idiot. Don't be me and get a root canal: FLOSS. Regardless of what your toothbrush or toothpaste commercial on tv says, toothbrushes can't reach between your teeth. Flossing at least once a day (again, bonus points for twice a day) clears out all the gunk in hard to reach places between your teeth. This is the high risk stuff, because since it never gets cleaned out, it can build up over time. If it builds up, it makes your teeth icky and gross. But if it builds up a LONG TIME, it turns into plaque, which is basically the same icky stuff but turned into cement on your teeth, meaning only a dentist can get it off with proper tools. We're trying to avoid that, so FLOSS.

BRUSH CORRECTLY. Yes, there is a right way to brush your teeth. Take your brush, start at the bottom of your teeth (near the gums), and brush upward, then downward, then up again. Do this for all the teeth, the whole way into the back of your mouth. Then, do the inside of your teeth in the same fashion. Finish off by brushing your tongue if you're feeling really saucy. Dentists say brushing for two full minutes is ideal. So put on your favourite song and just jam out while brushing your teeth; when the song ends, you're done!

WATCH YOUR BRUSH. Toothbrushes are a dime a dozen, and I'm sure someone smarter than me can tell you what the perfect toothbrush is. But as we already said, as long as you're brushing your teeth consistently, the tools don't matter as much. That being said, make sure your brush is right for YOU. Ideally it needs to be the right texture - some like it soft and some like it more brittle. It also should be new-ish. If you look at your  brush, and you see the majority of the bristles getting all frayed, then it's time to invest $2 into a new brush. Electric toothbrushes are fancy, but a normal toothbrush will do you just fine.

BE CAREFUL OF SUGAR. The big concern with tooth decay, which is the real nasty problem you'll have at a dentist, is sugar in your diet. Sugar is in a LOT of things, but that sugar gets in your mouth, and on your teeth, and bacteria that cause decay LOVE the stuff. Consider not drinking as many sodas, or eating as many sweets; the more sugar you cut out of your diet, the less likely it'll be in your mouth, and the less likely you'll have decay. If that's not really an option for you, instead focus on keeping your mouth as clean as possible. If you drink a soda, drink some water alongside it, to make sure you're washing away excess sugar.

KEEP AN EYE ON SENSITIVE TEETH. Some people have sensitive teeth, ones that respond to heat and cold. Some people also have sensitive teeth in general, where even brushing them can be a little painful or irritating. The culprits we're looking for are teeth at are sensitive particularly to heat or cold. Sometimes teeth are just sensitive, and this is totally normal. But sensitivity to heat or cold can also be a sign of a cavity. If you notice that one tooth is bothering you consistently when you have a nice cold drink or nice yummy food, KEEP AN EYE ON IT.

PAIN IS BAD. Wowie, bet you didn't know that suffering isn't fun. But real talk, if your teeth hurt, you don't have an option. You need to go to the dentist if your tooth hurts. Any pain in your mouth is bad, and the sooner it's addressed, the better. No excuses at that point.

THAT’S THAT! Also, there are a fuck-ton of anime teeth brushing gifs, so Don’t mind me while I link some others I didn’t have room to use. 

[grumpy-lynx-blog]

Rediscovery

I wasn’t able to sleep, which means I spent quite a bit of time in our headspace lucid, before falling unconscious. Kesh wanted to walk me around his part of wonderland, but since we started off in my part, we decided to walk and chat on our way there. This chat we had, quite quickly turned serious, and we just sort of layed down in grass, on the border between our lands, not really making it to our destination.

We talked for a long time about our beginnings, how Kesh came into existence, how he remembers very little of that time and how he cannot believe he used to be... How do I... <Kesh: I will put it bluntly, I was an insufferable asshole back then. I have almost no recollection of those times, I remember being very angry at how things were before I appeared in Lynx’s life, then a whole bunch of nothing. The earliest memory I have after that hole in my memories is when I was already with Ari and Lynx, kind of “settled in” you could say. My point is, to fill that hole I can only go off of the memories they have of those times, and I find it hard to believe I behaved like... That.> ...Yes. Neither of us would like to go into details, but let’s just say that was a rough month, and the following one wasn’t great either.

Anyway, after finishing that topic, we didn’t really feel like getting up and continuing our walk, laying there in the grass and just keeping the chit chat up felt like a much better idea. We talked about really mundane stuff, I was mostly asking about what Kesh does in our headspace when I’m too busy working on “irl” stuff and he mostly kept answering my questions and talking about himself. And you know what? It kinda opened my eyes, because it turns out, I know nothing about them. My interactions with Ari and Kesh always focused on reacting to everything outside of ourselves, asking for opinions, their insights, joking about surrounding us world, but I never really stopped and just talked with them. I mean, should figuring out Kesh’s favorite fruit take 6 fucking years? I’m both feeling absolutely awful, and really excited. Awful, because I feel something like that never should’ve happened, like I neglected an important part of their existence for way way too long, like I failed them as a friend. I know it’s not really true, it’s just how we are, how we all function together, and I bet if they ever craved that sort of spotlight, they’d surely get it from me, but I can’t help but feel such a situation was entirely preventable. And excited, because we have been in this together for 6 years, and despite spending so much time together, I get to discover them once more.

And I don’t remember much more after that realization hit me, so I must’ve fallen asleep. I’ve had a good time with them through all this time, and we will surely work on keeping that up.

Thank you for reading. Hope you’re having a good day.

<Kesh: It’s oranges by the way.>

// Grumpy Lynx

[norsesuggestions]

what is your opinion on gustav iii?

Hmmm well

With the disclaimer that this is just a personal opnion build on growing up in sweden, were we often talk about him, not like historian based opnion (although i a mix i opnions from being a gender studies student and undergrad ethnology student. But I have not read much about gustav iii at uni level is what I am trying to say)

Well I would say this:

First of all he was a tyrannt. He shut down the parliement, and took all the power himself (which was illegal. Like, he really did such a state coup, that would today be called a diktator overtake of the state).

Now the parliement of sweden during the 18th were in many ways corrupt, but it was still allowed a proto-demcracy rule, were elected represantives from the 4 stånden cooperated to rule sweden (nobility, priests, borgious, and peasants were the 4 stånden).

Because the parliement actually DID include peasants in sweden, and peasants of a certain status could vote in their represantives into the parliement, shutting it down is a massive step-back for the political influence majority of swedens population, who were peasants.

Gustav III talked about giving “the people the power” but with doing that, he actually takes away power from the people, from my non-historian understanding.

Anyway! I just can’t agree with shutting down the swedish parliement, which is the very parliement we still have in sweden (even if it ofcourse gone through 200 years of reform by now. The parliement of then was not identical etc etc. But it just… feels wrong haha)

Also! Gustav III had alot of ideas for sweden as a nation. But several of those ideas were totally dumb. Sweden was super much in debt when he ruled. But still he insisted on starting wars forexample.

In particular he started a war with russia that went VERY badly, and he is in the historical narrative of sweden, often blamed for sweden losing finland to russia (which happened after his death,so I am not sure how correct that is as a blame game, but he is often blamed for this in sweden. Although I think his son is the one that actually lost finland to russia. I don’t remember).

He ALSO wanted to be treated more like a living God, like the kings of France. Which we often ridicouly him for, both today in sweden and historically.

(Sweden royalty were you know, treated like very powerful people, not like worshipped. He wanted the court to compete to dress him in the morning etc. The population of sweden just laughed and laughed about this silly ideas. Competing about wiping the bottom of the king? Ridicolous!)

Gustav III also wanted sweden in general to became a great power of europe, which in 18th century europe is just… the worst idea. You know importing colonial methods etc etc (which he was not the first swedish monarch to do, but just think about what importing ideas from the other european nations means in the 18th century actually entails).

He also, as many swedens monarchs have, desperatly tried to create a regional swedish fine culture “market”. Like supporting the arts, and trying to make it possible for sweden to compete in the arts with other countries of the world. Thid helped sweden to be able to build up educations of art and academia, not always under his life time, and not all thanks to him. But it helped with injecting some life into the academia.

On the other hand lots of swedens academia has also been BAD, so thats not all positive *pointed look at the eugenics and race biology of which swedens academia was a breeding ground for, ever sense the 18th century*

But well. Gustav III tried to do something with sweden. Something different than what it was, which most of swedens population considered to be total shite.

He did forexample greatly help end the beastility panic i have spoken so much about. He declared that he refused signing papers for death punishment beastility. And lo, and behold, the problem of executing large parts if the healthy male population because of beastility charges, disappear if you do not execute them!

He also refuse to execute people for homosexuality, which I find a very good thing of him.

Now about gustav iii and homosexuality. Gustav iii is often described as some kind of mindless “sissy” tyrannt, because of homophobia. These describtions often, from what I learned in gender studies, actually steam from homophobic slander campaings against him during his life time, and also quickly after his death.

These views, where homosexuality, and just a general non-conformity to our gender norms, is potrayed as “evil” i am HEAVILY against.

Like make fun for Gustav III for all the awful things, and dumb decisions he did in life (like being a tyrannt, claiming that being a dictator was how to be “enlighted monarch”, starting point less wars in a country already in massive debt because of war etc) but I disapprove of making fun of him for his sexuality and gender expressions.

ALSO

With that being said, I also disapprove of all these cishet swedes who will go “he was not gay, that was just slander. He was totalt straight, soooo straight. And he was totally a paragorn of masculinity. And that was totally how all irl in the 18th century considered him”. Like…. He was gay. Pleaaaase. (And i know the difficulty with calling historical people gay. But ALSO. He was gay). And more important, the urgency among historian indicates a homophobic viewpoint among all the modern historians rushing to do so (and this i learned in some feminist articles somewhere haha).

Same with his gender expression. Its says more about the historian rushing to declare his gender expression the paragorn of 18th century manliness, and their modern anxiety about our gender binary, than it tells anything about how his gender expressions was percieved during his life time (I know I just lighty thouched this topics. There is lots intersting things to say about 18th century masculinity among swedish nobility, but I digress)

Anyway. He was gay. He also disliked his wife personally. And she disliked him. And he appeared to have a legit medical issuie with his penis, that prevented him from ejeculating enough sperm during intercourse with the queen. THAT, the inability to create a heir, is therefore not only a case of him being “too gay” (which is often how the homophobic take on him describe him. Like he brought “the end” of swedish rule over finland, by being too gay to create a proper heir….. yes its sound ridicolous, but this is often how gustav iii have been spoken about).

Tldr. I find him intersting. And enjoy joking about him. Gustav iii as a politican though i HEAVILY disaprove of, and I am glad the parliement killed him and reinstated the rule of the parliement.

I just can’t approve of his political actions, but as a historical phenomena he is intersting

(Also WHEN are we getting a proper show about him, which is not tainted by homophobia? LIKE. So sick about swedish historical docs, were all they talk about is about how he had problems to have sex with his wife, and spend all time speculating of thay is what brought the fall of some kind off imagned great epoch. Or something)

PS. All said here is from memory, i did not look anything up. Feel free to correct me if I got something totally wrong. I am no expert in monarchs of sweden and their history. I read ethnology for two terms, and they are not very interested in the history of 1 particular monarch. Much more entire social classes and stuff. And kinda same with the history focus when we have history at gender studies)

Apperntly i had much more opnions about gustav iii than i thought when I first started to type this answer. Ah well haha.

[eeveelutionsforequality]

I don’t get why you guys support MAPs. It’s bone-chillingly obvious to me that most MAPs want their attraction to people who have no conscious ability to consent validated and supported, and I’m sorry but I cannot give that any amount of support and it bothers me that it’s the hill you guys are willing to collectively die on

Please don't group us together like that or blame Flareon for my opinions on certain topics, we differ on this one and Flareon often pops in to reaffirm that fact - I've actually been considering making a separate blog for this discourse (obviously I wouldn't leave this blog) because I don't want people to make assumptions about the other mods' opinions based on mine, but at the same time this blog enables me to dip in and out of any discourse I choose to, while a more focused blog on top of this would take up even more time and effort, and would likely mean that I had to follow people who engage in that kind of discourse regularly, which could be triggering on my bad days. I'm bouncing the thought around, because as much as I'm happy hanging myself from a tree on any given hill, I don't want this blog to die whatsoever.

Onto my opinions:

"I don’t get why you guys support MAPs"

Firstly, I suffer from severe intrusive thoughts and I've been presumed violent in the past - I can empathize greatly with how it feels to have unwanted and unchosen thoughts and to be treated awfully because of them. Once you've been locked up and essentially tortured for months on end, because everybody believes that you're a monster and you start to believe that yourself, it's very hard not to read post after post of a group going through judgement so strikingly similar and not feel like you should say something about it - they're thoughts, they can't help them, they haven't done anything, and the more I see antis throwing intrusive thoughts under the bus the more I start to worry that if I don't take a stand now the suffering I endured will be justified against me again.

Secondly, because I think that, if done right, the anti-contact ideals are going to pan out as an effective path towards prevention of crimes - again, from experience, I know how utterly terrible being abused as a kid is, and I don't want that to happen to anybody else. If there's a way for people to be able to safely open up about these thoughts, seek therapy, and live their lives without ever harming anybody, I think that's incredible and important, and I want to do my best to ensure that becomes a reality.

Thirdly, they're not bad people, not the ones I've met anyway. I personally know a few people, irl and online, not all maps, who have had pretty disturbing fantasies, attractions and thoughts, who have come to me for help and advice - all wonderful and kind people who were scared and hurting. I've gone to those people for advice myself, with things that I felt I couldn't talk to anybody about and that I was struggling through alone, stuff that made me feel suicidal and brought back memories of being treated awfully because of my mental health, and they've always been compassionate and understanding - that empathy I mentioned goes both ways, while most people freak out if you open up about the content of intrusive thoughts or other disturbing symptoms. I can't speak for all of the ones on tumblr, I've no doubt that there are terrible people on here, but the people that I've spoken to who happen to have intrusive thoughts, sexual thoughts, unwanted attractions, they're not demons, they're not bad people.

"It’s bone-chillingly obvious to me that most MAPs want their attraction to people who have no conscious ability to consent validated and supported"

In my experience, they don't have any ill intentions - they're just human beings. They want people to stop calling them monsters, they kinda want to be told that they're not monsters, they want to be able to reach out and get the same help and support that all of us need from time to time, they want to keep kids safe, they want to live a normal life that makes them happy, they don't want to act on their thoughts or hurt anybody.

Imagine you were thrown into this world with these thoughts and feelings that you didn't ask for, and you didn't understand them at first or what they meant but as you got older you realized that it was a thought that you could never act on because the action would cause unimaginable harm, harm that you quite possibly endured yourself and couldn't imagine inflicting upon another. You didn't ask for it, you don't want it, but it can't go away, no matter how much you suppress it and try to pretend it's not there, it crops up in the back of your head all the time - and everybody tells you that you're a monster for it, that you deserve to die, that you should lock yourself away and suffer in silence. You start to believe it and you feel awful about yourself, depressed, alone, inhuman, unwanted, monstrous, all because of something that's entirely beyond your control, something that was forced upon you. You just want to talk it through with someone occasionally, keep on top of it, be a good person, but everywhere you go everybody is conflating the fact that you have these thoughts with you actively causing that harm, and other people in your position are suffering and killing themselves because of it, and other people are talking about how they want people in your position to suffer and kill themselves.

I just want to find a way to help these people and to prevent kids from getting hurt - help doesn't just mean positive vibes, sometimes it means being the person who warns somebody when their symptoms are getting worse or tells them to man up and take their meds.

It's fine if you can't empathize with them or support that, it's fine if their community stresses you or triggers you and you don't want to see it, it's fine if you think that there are risks that need bringing up and addressing (I do too), and it's fine if you disagree with me, I'm not forcing you to think how I think. I'll tag any future map posts with "maps tw" and you can blacklist that to avoid the topic if you still wish to follow, all of my posts are tagged "Mod Vaporeon" so you can blacklist that too if you don't want to interact with me personally or see my posts any more. I understand if you don't want to support me, I even understand if you find it hard to follow this blog, but please don't hold our disagreement over the other mods, they aren't at all accountable for what I think or say.