#and i hate the looks that teachers give us bc they see he doesn't have a pass and people already doubt me needing it

[nasatshirts]

bruh people who use disabled people for their "privileges" (read: accommodations) suck

[cosmicpoutine]

leaving a lil rant here :]

I love Tim and his ships sm. Me personally, I only really ship TimKon. Those two are perfect for eachother and have so much clear queer coding that it’s crazy, and they have dialogue that’s just. gay shaped.

I also get TimBart, I don’t ship it romantically but I get why people do!! Tim and Bart are close as well, and the balance they get between ‘depressed tired wet cat’ and ‘living breathing embodiment of adhd’ is great.

I also get TimBartKon, they’re a trio. They are always a trio, so many people like to bring up how TimKon has so much coding and one of the big examples they use is when Tim tried to clone Kon. You know who else he tried to clone? Bart.

The only Tim ship I don’t get is TimBern, or any ship involving those two. When Bernard first appears, he’s Tim’s bully. He actively makes fun of tim and puts him down and then that character is forgotten about until Tim comes out as bi, then they just rework his character and go “haha guys this is his boyfriend not bully ygs are crazy” and just forget about all the bad stuff Bernard did? Reworking a character is great and all but, it just feels a bit weird and out of place for me. There’s always going to be that certain toxicity for TimBern, at least for me.

homie... bully??? im flabbergasted- im speechless- im jason todd (dead)

okay, im gonna start off by saying you have all the right to not ship them, and im not here to defend timbern as a ship. im here to defend BERNARD DOWD.

first thing bernard does is give tim advice about teachers, and he clearly says they're gonna be good friends.

if bernard was a bully, tim wouldn't hang around him so much. besides, i hate it when people place tim as a helpless little boy who would get bullied. he has put himself in situations where he looks weak on purpose to keep his identity safe, but he's not a victim at all. tim is a social butterfly because he's really good at masking and reading people.

not to mention, both bernard and darla push tim a lot because they're trying to get him to open up and be closer to them, but he keeps pushing them away. tim is a professional liar.

and when tim has to quit robin and start hanging out with normal people, he invites bernard over.

and bernard is acting relatively normal, and he wants to play video games and talk about how hot tim's stepmom is.

bernard is a normal teenager who has no idea one of his friends is the hero he's so obsessed with. he even shows concern for robin dying and makes up an entire conspiracy theory about batman havin a robin orphanage. you can tell he's afraid of robin being gone for real because at this point they haven't seen robin in months bc tim retired.

i dont know what about all of these interactions gave you the vibe that he's a bully because all i see is a normal teenager teasing his friends and being jealous tim gets more bitches.

im not saying that bernard was never mean or weird around tim, but he definitely wasn't actively bullying tim.

bernard is obnoxious and cocky, yes. but thats just because they wrote him as a real person. he's the school's chameleon, maybe even a little bit of a loser, too. he knows everyone but keeps a safe distance so that he doesn't get pushed into a box. im not sure if, at this point, he was already in a cult or being indoctrinated, but when we see his parents and the dowd home in tim drake: robin that just doesn't look right.

also homie talk about "forgetting all the bad things bernard did" (which in my opinion is none but okay lets follow that logic) everyone forget about all the bad things batman did to tim, he was not a kind and loving mentor, he was cruel to both tim and steph. we forget that batman was kind of an asshole to damien in the beginning. all those things are forgotten for the sake of the batfam.

in conclusion: we're just so used to the idea that superheroes can only ever form strong friendship bonds by having near death experiences together that we forget that the secret identifies exist and that the people who know them by their legal name also means a lot to them. after all, these people are the reason why they're heroes.

[whorergal]

SURPRISED?

summary: you're ghostface instead of ethan…

warnings: descriptions of blood & murder. overall really gory. language (cussing).

pairings: ethan landry x fem!reader, platonic sam carpenter x fem!reader, enemies quinn bailey x fem!reader

authors note: ethan and quinn aren't related in this one btw!! i really liked this idea so here's me trying my best to write it to the best of my ability 😭 also anika lives bc she's my pookie <3

——————————————————————————————

You sat in Quinn's room, making sure to stay clear from the windows she had purposely left open. Messages from Ethan and your friends in general went crazy as they wondered where you were and why you weren't answering. You rolled your eyes, understanding their worry but seeing as you were the cause behind their constant paranoia, you found it annoying to be bothered.

Quinn had left her room, saying she needed to not act suspicious. Her hookup would be making his grand reveal in a couple of minutes where you would be hiding in the closet, hoping to not be forced to witness something that would physically make you ill.

Noises outside the room got louder as you heard everyone laughing. It brought a smile to your face until you forced yourself to drop it.

Yes, you loved your friends. You had known Tara, Chad, Mindy and Sam your whole life—how could you not grow to love them? But, then again, you weren't planning their demise half the time you spent with them until last year when you grew vengeful.

Ethan was just an fortunate bonus you collected once moving to New York that happened to please Quinn, her being the mastermind and all. She liked the idea of getting someone like him to trust you just like how her brother Richie did with Sam.

Although, you did end up falling for Ethan and not just for the act. It was never in your head to make him love you just to hurt him in the end until Quinn meddled into your life and found out about you two. Then, the thought of your reveal and how he would react never left your mind. For some reason, it never crossed your thoughts that you would eventually have to face him seeing as you were too in love with him to kill him.

Your phone screen lit up, a picture of Ethan you took when he was studying popped up. You sighed, making sure to keep your voice low as you answered. "Hey, E."

"Y/N/N, where are you? I thought you said you'd be coming over tonight?" Ethan's worried voice caused your heart to swell. God, you hated lying to him.

"Yeah, I know but I'm still stuck in class," you lied very effortlessly. "My teacher offered to give us extra time to prepare for our next exam so I decided to stay. I might be around in an hour or two."

"Why didn't you tell me? I would've stayed with you," he immediately told you. "I hate knowing you're alone."

"E, I'm fine. I'm in a class full of thirty other people plus my professor," you reassured him, staring into the ceiling.

"Doesn't matter, Y/N/N. What if Ghostface attacks you on your way over? Or what if he's there at—"

"Hey, hey," you interrupted his rambling. "Look, I've done this once before, he'll have to try a lot harder then sneak attacking me while I'm in an Econ class."

"Y/N, I'm being serious," Ethan said sternly.

"So am I," you countered with a breathless chuckle. "How about this? I'll call you when I'm on my way over and we can facetime so you can make sure I'm okay."

The line was quiet until you heard a soft, "okay."

"I love you, E," you told him sadly, hoping he couldn't tell as you continued. "Please be safe. If anything happens, don't play the hero, okay? I can't lose you."

You were saying that mostly for yourself. You'd be the one behind the mask and if he did get in the way, you'd be forced to do something you didn't want to do. You had managed to steer Quinn clear from him until tonight and the last thing you wanted to do was cause him any ounce of pain.

"I should be telling you that," he told you with a smile, you could hear it through his voice. "I'll try not to, alright. Just…I love you. If anything does happen tonight and I can't say it again, just know that I really love you, Y/N."

"Don't say that, E," you interrupted. Your heart felt like it was stuck in your throat. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"You can't control it, Y/N/N," he let out weakly. "But I'm sure nothing's gonna happen, okay? So just worry about your exam and call me later. I love you."

"I love you too, E," you mumbled sadly.

"Get a room!" you heard Mindy yell in the background.

"Minds, stop. It's cute," Sam defended you two.

"Bye, E." You laughed; you couldn't help it.

You hung up the phone, staring down at his contact picture for a second longer. For some reason, that one conversation alone had you rethinking your choices. Would it be so bad to back out of the plan now? Quinn and her dad can take care of the rest—you only had to do with those two college nerds deaths and another guy who you'd seen bothering Ethan on campus, but that was it. The rest was Wayne, which was only the bodega and Sam's therapist.

The thought of even having to possibly kill Sam, especially Sam, because of how close you were with her made you sick to your stomach. So, why were you still apart of a plan that ensured her death along with your friends?

Your second thoughts were interrupted by the swift open of Quinn's door. The redhead came barging in, wearing her pink silk nightgown that barely reached her thighs.

"Nice conversation with your boyfriend," she told you with a certain distaste in her tone.

"Had to make sure I didn't sound suspicious," you defended yourself, getting up from the floor but staying in the corner of the room. You were lying.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "How long are you going to string him along? He's going to hate you when he finds out what you've done…that's if he survives that long."

"He stays out of our plan, remember?"

"Where's the fun in that?" she whined, walking over to mess with your black robe. "He takes you away from me all the time."

You shoved her away. "I told you, Quinn; you and your dad don't touch him. That was our only agreement."

"Yeah, it was when you realized you loved him," she had to point out. "He's turning you against us. Before you met him, you were excited to get revenge just like us."

"No, he's not but is it bad for me to not want to see the one person I actually care about harmed? It's not my fault that the only person you cared about was murdered."

"Just because you're apart of this plan doesn't mean I won't kill you," Quinn threatened as your words fell loosely from your mouth. You just couldn't stand when she badmouthed Ethan in front of you.

"Oh, shut up," you replied annoyedly. "Your dad won't even let you get behind the mask."

Quinn got quiet because it was true until she spoke, having to have the final word. "Fine, you got kills but do you really think Ethan would date a murderer? What're going to do when we complete act three? You think he's going to want to be with you after you helped kill his friends?"

"Fuck off," you snapped, letting her words get under your skin which you shouldn't have.

Quinn was going to continue bothering you but her phone went off. Her current boyfriend of the month was on his way up, forcing you to put the mask over your head and hide inside the closet.

Surprisingly, she didn't do much with him. You were sure she wouldn't pass up the opportunity to make you watch her but it seemed she was excited to get on with the plan. It only made up of occasional frisky touching, some things that were still counted as sexual activities that did make you look away but nothing too extravagant.

He ended up leaving to her connected bathroom to take a shower, saying how he felt dirty. Quinn then started to call her dad, basically filling him in and then she turned to you, gesturing for you to make your grand appearance as she saw Danny standing by his window just like planned.

Your boots helped make you seem taller as you stalked toward her very slowly. Her back was facing you as she rambled on the call about something. Your hand gripped your knife as the thought of actually killing her surfaced in your head. No, you couldn't do that.

Noises coming from across the window caught your attention as you looked up, seeing Danny pointing at you while yelling words you couldn't hear. You tilted your head at him, walking away inside the bathroom.

Killing her boyfriend wasn't too hard as you caught him off guard but the scene had become gory. You'd taken your pent up anger on the poor guy, his blood covering the entire room that you didn't notice until you backed away from where he laid lifelessly in the tub, naked.

You grimaced at yourself and what you had done.

Walking back into the room, you decided to start the act earlier than Quinn wanted, knowing it would piss her off. You rose your knife and planted it straight into the mattress, startling her as she let out an authentic gasp.

She began to scream, making sure to keep it leveled so it didn't sound too suspicious to everyone outside her room. She needed them to believe she was having sex so they wouldn't interrupt before she could get in her costume, which was just covering her entire body with fake blood and a few slashes from your knife to make it even more realistic.

You pulled her up, wrapping your arm around her neck just as you saw Danny take a picture. Then you tossed her to the floor where she crawled to the fake blood and splattered it all over herself and her room.

A couple more seconds, she continued to scream until she stopped and you heard the group outside running toward the door until the silence made them halt.

"Showtime," Quinn whispered proudly.

It made you sick to your stomach.

You held her up, taking a second to let her collect herself before you threw the door open and charged her body at them. Quinn fell on Anika, taking her and Mindy down as the girl screamed at Quinn's "dead" body.

Then, everyone scattered. You saw Chad pull Ethan and Tara toward the direction of the door and you decided to let them go on the account it would mean Ethan was safe. You headed straight toward Mindy, slashing her in the arm, knowing it would be enough to make her weak as blood always made her squeamish to the point she would pass out at times.

Your goal was to get Mindy. That was the plan Quinn had created for you to do but you couldn't. The rush of it all hit you once you saw her hunch over to hold her wound, trying not to vomit at the sight of the blood.

Anika was about to attack you for what you had done to her girlfriend but you got smacked in the face but a large object, sending you flying against the TV. When you peered through your mask, you saw Ethan's familiar light blue shirt and his curly hair, reaching down to help Mindy and Anika. Fuck, you thought. You should've known.

"Come on," he urged them both up.

You collected yourself quickly, slicing him in the arm and throwing him and Mindy against the table. The sound of his wince caused your heart to break but at least he wasn't in your way anymore.

Turning, you gripped Anika and pulled her up by the throat, which wasn't that hard at how light she was to carry. You slammed her against the wall and drove the knife in her gut. She let out a scream that actually made you sad. You could feel yourself losing grip on your knife. Thankfully, you were hit in the head again, causing you to fall to the floor and drop Anika.

Sam dropped the knife dispenser and went reaching for Anika as she carried her inside Quinn's bedroom. Ethan and Mindy were following closely behind. You got up and slammed against the door, causing Sam and Ethan to push against you even harder.

You stopped, remembering the second entrance to Quinn's room. You ran around and almost got through until you saw Ethan immediately run to slam the door in your face. Without thinking, you slipped through the crack and swung your knife around which sliced his skin again, making him even more annoyed, putting full force in his last push. You fell back just as you heard Sam and Mindy put a dresser against it so you couldn't enter.

Would it be so bad to let them go? You were about to give up until you looked behind at where Quinn was playing dead and she gave you a head gesture, as if telling you to get through that door and do something.

You started to kick it, slam your body against it, and slowly but surely the door started to crack. You could finally see in and you saw that they were trying to leave through the window on a ladder, thanks to Danny. You rolled your eyes, growing psychically exhausted but you continued to push against the door, the dresser beginning to shake.

Purposely, you didn't use your strength. You wanted them to survive. Poor Anika made you see that once you saw the gutted look on her face. You weren't close with her but she was a nice girl and she deserved to live. So did Sam and Mindy. Especially so did Ethan.

Sam went first, you caught sight of her hair just as she made it through. Then, Ethan of course had to make sure one of the girls went before him. Mindy gave Anika a kiss, thinking it'd be their last as she shakily made it on the ladder and got through. You continued to slam against the door as you watched Ethan pick Anika up from the bed, walking her toward the window where he helped her get on the ladder and kept it stable for her.

She took awhile to get through that you unfortunately made it inside just as Ethan was barely exiting the window. You stalked toward it slowly because you knew you weren't going to let him die.

"Ethan, you have to hurry!" Sam and Mindy screamed.

He turned around and the scared look on his face could've been enough to kill you. You slammed your knife on the window sill and grabbed the ladder.

They all were expecting some foul play on your end, encouraging him to be quicker but you didn't. Instead, you held the ladder down and stabilized it for him. Sam watched in shock. She was the only one who noticed your action that had been completely out of character.

Ethan made it inside Danny's apartment a second after and they all looked at you. You tilted your head at them, pulling your knife out. Then, you were gone. You didn't even wait for Quinn because you needed to get out of that costume and in Ethan's arms as quick as possible.

[adaines-furious-feast]

bc you're my friend who i talk about jace stardiamond with, here is the sorcery subclasses of the bad kids imo:

Kristen - Divine Soul, pretty rare for sorcerers imo and Jace probably finds it interesting but would be so annoyed by Kristen's shenanigans

Adaine - Aberrant Mind, has something to do w/ being the Oracle. Jace loves the effort she puts into her work and is probably his favorite.

Gorgug - Wild Magic. Tries really hard to control his surges and Jace puts in the effort in helping him come to terms w/ his magic, rather than fight it

Fabian - Storm Sorcery. Jace really finds Fabian's whole freshman self to be pompous and it's like looking into a mirror almost. Really tries not to project onto him but fails <3

Fig - Wild Magic as well. Is also in the Kristen school of sorcery and is such a wild card. but she's worse bc her magic is uncontrolled (somewhat)

Riz - Clockwork Soul. Jace enjoys Riz as a student until he realizes how obsessive Riz is at school and wants Riz to relax. Riz cannot relax.

Yeah, I'll co-sign these subclasses.

Kristen would be a really interesting case. Has her magic always come from Cassandra or was she once blessed by Helio and that changed? I can see Jace - honestly any teacher - finding Kristen fun at first but then it keeps going. And he realises "oh, this isn't a joke, this is your personality". In a class of chaos, that is really, really unneeded.

Aberrant Mind is so interesting and just such a perfect match for Adaine. I mean, of course she's his favourite, for many reasons. One of those reasons is definitely because he can go to Tiberia like "ha, one of my students is better at divination wizard spells than any of yours and she's not even a wizard". Adaine definitely gets frustrated with Jace though because she has a very clear idea of what being taught magic is like and he doesn't provide it, so she attends wizard classes even if she can't fully participate in the same way. She'll just take that teaching and change it into what she needs.

With Gorgug, I can see the problem being honestly the same one he has with rage: he needs to feel like he has a good enough reason to use magic. In canon, he would only let himself rage if he felt he was protecting his friends. I can see Gorgug being like "ok, I'll only use magic to help people when I have a good enough reason", perhaps not realising that this self-suppression is only hurting himself.

Fabian as a storm sorcerer pirate is just so super interesting. I want to know what things were like for him before he arrived at Aguefort, when he was with his dad on adventures. Were there other storm sorcerers on the Hangman? Or Leviathan? Did he get help from any of them? Or did Bill see his son, blessed by the storms on the seven seas, and just use it as evidence that Fabian was special and going to write his name on the face of the world, only bigging him up even more?

I actually think Jace would find Fig less annoying than Kristen purely for the fact that she doesn't show up for class. Fig's in every other class for spell casters, trying to see how long it takes the teacher to figure out that she's not actually a wizard/warlock/bard. Normally he'd find this brilliant but Fig's inability for introspection is making her surges more common which is an issue.

Riz hates his class (as in school class, not D&D class). When I was at school, we had to pick one of about five different types of "design and technology" classes we could take for GCSE (cooking, textiles, woodworking, ect.) and I picked graphics, which turned out to be what the students who were rejected from all the other classes took so it was just me and a bunch of kids (boys) who could not give a fuck. I was the only one that showed up to any revision classes, I was the only one paid any attention (and I was the only one to get an A). That's Riz in sorcery class, but with a teacher who prefers the kids that fuck about a bit and it drives him absolutely insane.

[aoki553]

GRGRGRGRG FINALLY AN OPPORTUNITY TO INFODUMP ABT HIM!!! tysm @makifishcake and prepare for a long ramble abt best boy ever (to me) and why saijun is real... let's start with an introduction to a canon crossover character only The Loser (me) cares about! this is gonna get messy in writing near the end cuz its like 3 am for me rn.

Kouno Jun is one of the two protagonists of Asou-sensei's older work, Our Hero Studies and is one of Haganeno Ken's students at Holy Lance Academy (a private school that either exists the same town as Saiki or some neighboring one)

The only translated OHS chapters so far show us who Jun and Haganeno are as characters. Kouno Jun's a generic tsukkomi high school student with normal teenage boy interests and crushes... he's baby and a total boyfail.

Jun likes video games (Kaisou Monogatari, an in-universe franchise), ramen, melon soda and Yayumi - the class rep. Pretty normal dude that's just being constantly bothered by his classmates and the teacher he hates...

...and then there's Haganeno Ken - THE delusional cosplayer hero wannabe teacher with huge interest in roleplaying and RPG video games, who immediately takes a liking to Jun, mainly for his name (his name means shield, while Haganeno's mean sword. you see where i'm going?)

most of the ohs panels will be machine translated cuz i have no strength or motivation to continue my actual translation work ngnhnh one day maybe... 😔

He may look like a generic high school shonen manga protagonist, but it's actually really charming to me how adorable he can be despite the boring presentation lolol HIS CRUSH ON YAYUMI IS SO CUTE UGHNHNH

And yeah of course he shows up in Saiki bc WHY WOULDNT HE???

Asou-sensei put him there twice. In the Christmas chapter where he's walking with a girl (MOST LIKELY YAYUMI), sees Kusuo sitting alone and being like "haha that's so sad to be lonely on christmas lmao"... EXCEPT ITS HILARIOUS CUZ HE DOES THE SAME THING IN HIS OWN MANGA'S CHRISTMAS CHAPTER.

and in the Hero Studies crossover chapter, right at the end as an unused character. (wouldn't make sense to have two tsukkomis there tbh so i get it lolol)

Same thing happens in the anime except Jun in the Christmas episode wasn't animated like he's an actual pre-existing character, except just a background character so he looks different but has the same jacket with his initials so its definitely him.

so here's all his screentime:

his terrible sense of style was referenced by Takeru at one point as well. yes, Jun dresses terrible and he has outfits much worse than this. hes a loser and i love him

okay but what's with the saijun thing? orz

basically its a silly ship me and my lovely sweetest gf (@lu-kario ) came up with and it kinda stuck around. "omg haha what if the two protagonists from different manga dated" but yeah it became an actual thing with thought out scenarios between us.

Me saying it'd be like satousai but Kusuo finds someone "normal" with actual personality would be not giving this ship enough justice. I can't tell much rn cuz I forget 90% of the stuff i make up unless i write it down BUT all i'll say is that

I like to imagine Jun and Kusuo having a calm and nice relationship, lots of quality time spent playing video games or going out to get some ramen together. Kusuo gets to have someone more usual by his side and Jun isn't likely to be bothered by Ken when Kusuo is around (:3).

and yeah, they do get another scene together in volume zero! how lovely! the christmas episode is also one of the reasons i find the ship cool but even despite the sillies having canon scenes and illustrations together i like it simply for fun.

canon crossover ships are cool and epic

my final words: go read ohs its fully in japanese online and 5 chapters are in english so far.

seriously go read it the fandom doesn't exist its really lonely.

and if you care abt our hero studies u can motivate me in the ask box, gimme a kick on the butt so i go and translate this work again after like a year or more of hiatus

[gabessquishytum]

Okay, admittedly I would love to see the fandom play more with the idea of Teacher!Hob where he's in charge of younger students. Like he works in a secondary education school and clearly has a lot of beef with 15-17 year olds bc the comedy potential is there!

He comes home after a hard day and ofc Dream is there to comfort him and listen, but he doesn't have a traditional day job like Hob does and has to imagine what a teenager could possibly do or say that sets his love off like that. Even if it's just a teenager calling him "my guy" or "bruh". He also has to keep his mouth shut when Hob starts complaining about how bratty the younger generations are when Hob clearly is the brat in the relationship.

He also needs to get used to having date nights postponed or canceled bc he needs to grade these projects, and the worksheets he gave out to bolster their grades which just ended up being double the amount of work lol. Dream ends up spending a lot of evening just kinda having to seethe from the couch as he watches Hon grade work that was clearly half assed when they were supposed to be having a romantic night out.

The piece de resistance is Dream coming around during Family Night or some other open school event that Hob has to chaperone bc some other teacher bailed on them and he'd rather have Dream there to keep him company as he runs around trying to keep students from setting the place on fire. But there he can see how much the students respect him for being kind and calm during moments where they definitely aren't and fully trying to help every kid succeed. They joke around and make fun of him because they're comfortable being themselves and look up to him. Though he wishes they would stop making fun of him and stick to Hob, bc teenagers are mean.

- 🤜 Anon

I also really jam with Hob as a secondary school teacher!! I think he’d HATE the curriculum. But I’ve looked closely at the papers he’s marking in episode 6, and they look a lot like high school tests to me. So there’s a solid basis to headcanon him teaching younger kids.

I love this because Hob absolutely would have beef. On the one hand he’s a cool teacher, he’s chill about music in class and letting the kids sit with their friends IF they behave themselves. On the other hand he can get pretty scary if he’s riled up. The general consensus is that Mr Gadling is cool, but don’t piss him off.

Dream secretly enjoys Hob’s stories from work. He tries not to go on too much because he doesn’t want Dream to think he’s boring, but sometimes he goes on a rant, or tells a long winded story and Dream gets this super soft look in his eyes. Hob also does stuff like supervising the debate club, and he definitely isn’t afraid to debate with some of the more confident kids. Or the teachers. Because he DEFINITELY has beef with some of the people in the staff room…

Honestly once Dream meets the kids, he doesn’t know how Hob handles being around teenagers all day. They’re mean!! And Hob just laughs and seems kind of proud that he’s being teased, like it’s a badge of honour? Truthfully Hob deserves a raise for all he tries to make life a little better and easier for his students. Dream decides he’s gonna do his bit towards supporting teachers, and give Mr Gadling a blowjob when they get home <3

(At school after family night, Hob gets so much shit about his “pretty boyfriend”. The kids generally agree that “he’s way out of your league, sir”.

And honestly, Hob agrees. He’s still glowing from last night <3)

[prentissluvr]

HIII MARIIII

im back with big brother! sammy thoughts :333

so like im half way through season 7 and yk how sam dean and bobby are like living off the grid bc of the Leviathans, what if they were traveling with younger sibling! reader, not on no little kid type,

like teenager almost finished with high school type, and theyre trying to finish school while also trying to capture the Leviathan and keep theyre head

and sam is trying his best to keep his head with Lucifer and also catch the Leviathans while also trying to keep readers head so they dont like drop out of school??? YKWIM? this sounds so request-y I DONT MEAN FOR IT TO BE i just wanna pick your brain 🙁🙏🏽🙏🏽

anyway, love ya!

- alex ⭐️

AGHHH YAY !!! i’m just the hugest sucker for all things big brother sam sigh <33

AND DWWW this is perfect id love love to give my thoughts!!! tysm for sending this is and for providing context so i can remember LMAOOO

but i love this idea!! like i imagine having to go off the grid like. right during the last few months of readers senior year. and it’s good because you don’t have that much homework and all that, but it’s still incredibly important to get everything done so you can graduate. and i can imagine sam doing everything in his power to work with the last school you attended to have them let you finish your assignments through email almost like independent study.

and he’s doing this all while suffering with literal hallucinations😃 but he makes up this sob story (that’s obviously nothing compared to your actual situation) and he uses his perfect gentleman, super sweet older brother charm to convince them over the phone.

it’s just poor poor sam juggling all of this, fighting to keep himself, to get out of this situation, to keep everything else off your shoulders so you can focus on school. and every spare moment he tries to help you with your school work. one day, you're working on a final paper, and he's been sitting there with you, helping you edit, when he falls asleep without meaning to. he hates falling asleep. nightmares. and he'll feel awful about falling asleep on you when you need his help.

but you're alright with it. he already helped you fix the section you were unsure about, and you're almost done anyways. the rest is easy enough, and though you're exhausted out of your mind, it's nice to see sam sleep. you rarely do. you send your teacher your final draft and settle on the couch with him, too tired to get up.

sam does jolt awake from a nightmare. but he's easily grounded when he wakes, for once. you're there, your soft and sleeping form pressed against his side. you don't even stir when he flinches because your body is so exhausted. he still feels guilty when he realizes what happened, but he opens your laptop to see that you finished hours ago, not long after he fell asleep. he doesn't feel too bad. instead, he's glad to see you sleeping. you look different when you sleep, because he's gotten so used to the way that you look tired and stressed all the time now. that sends a pang through his heart when he realizes it. that overwhelming sense of protectiveness that he has for you washes over him like a damn hurricane, especially because your sleeping form looks so vulnerable. open and soft and unprotected except for him.

at least he can wrap an arm around you and fix the angle of your neck. at least you still trust him and love him and ask him for help on school assignments. at least you're there at all. sam can't wait for you to graduate. he knows that you can. he can't wait for you to have that. he can't wait to get you out of this all, if you'll let him.

[brandileigh2003]

Ok. But like?

I'm cool with remus not being traditionally beautiful. But Sirius still thinking he's the best thing ever. I think that he has certain attractive features, but he's def not some rockstar and most ppl don't take a second glance. But you need that to see the shade of his eyes, his crooked smile. Sirius loves him and finds beauty because of not despite of his scars. Bc they show strength and tell a story.

Mid level I think someone put it. Sure, I get why that can be a thing.

But. I think he can have sex appeal in other ways. His smile, his voice, a look in his eyes, muscles in certain places that defies him being otherwise skinny.

I'm fine with sirius being super intelligent and quick. Its canon after all. I love how him and James have this quality. But I don't think that means that remus liking to read or studying a lot takes that away from Sirius. I think that he likes academic validation, and he needs to read and study to stay caught up. He wants to prove he's worthy to be at school and has to work for it. I do think that he's smart though, and adds to group dynamics.

I don't think that he's just a downer and boring persay, otherwise why would they want to be with him. I think that he'll do the research maybe on the great idea that Sirius and James had and they will later carry it out flawlessly. Or sees some kind of gap in the plan and can think quick to help patch it up.

I do think he probably gets so hyperfixated on things which some people can't stand. but sirius loves to hear him talk about it. Just like remus is obsessed with everything sirius has to say. He's totally a nerd but I don't think he's just pathetic or a loser. Or maybe I just don't see those words the same as the recent posts have been using for him.

I think he's extraordinarily kind. he worships sirius, who in turn thinks remus is also the best. He's not rude to him even though I really do think they fight. But can't stay mad at each other long.

I do think that he can be angry, but I also think that a lot of times it's just at himself or crappy life circumstances. He's normally careful to keep any anger controlled bc he's worried about perception.

he's shy and and awkward and deals with a lot. He loves to help the younger students, and he uses above hard earned study methods to help them bc everything doesn't just come naturally or can share how he overcame it.

If everyone has a crush it's not bc he's completely hot or any of that. He's a soft boy with big comfy sweaters that gives good hugs. He's a good listener, a good teacher, shares anything he has, especially the chocolate that seems to be never ending in his bag. Bc he believes that it'll make you feel better. He has a kind word or compliment and can make you feel better.

I think he can be a momma's boy. And wants hope or poppy to hug him, and give him a space to cry and be weak. Otherwise I think that he likes to try to hide his pain bc he doesn't want to be a burden.

And ... That all said. I think that CR remus is different than a lot of this and hes absolutely perfect and I love him and I'd do insane things for this fictional man. It's one of my favorite ways to read about him. But something that carries over there from everything else I said is how enamored he is with Sirius Black. And how much he loves his inner circle. How he has this sacrificial love.

But anyways, I could go on about CR but that's totally not the point. Ive just seen a few things and wanted to say some things about how I see him a lot. And maybe the posts that have me feeling kind of sad talking about him are actually saying some of the same things I'm just negatively associating some words or ideas bc I know personally I can also interpret things completely the wrong way or not read into the subtext well enough

Let me know what you think. But if you think this is wrong; be kind.

And the people who like to come all up in my inbox about hating Sirius-- this isnt that. To be clear. I don't want remus to take over any traits of Sirius or whatever else you accuse me of. This has to do mostly with remus except me saying that sirius sees something in remus that a lot of people don't, that they're in love and adore each other.

I do in fact love Sirius Black and think he's wonderful. And you're missing the point if you think I hate that man. But I want to talk about remus rn and if you want something talking about Sirius, so many other wonderful people on here do that, so let's find that instead and let me hyperfixate and talk about remus.

Other random things I'll probably add to that really are prb just me.

-he is a horrible dancer. But he'll do it for sirius

-he'd do almost anything for Sirius.

-he's a music snob. But he'll read anything

-he is super annoying in class bc he shakes his leg or taps his quill. Sirius thinks it's adorable though.

-he needs a cane around the full. But he doesn't like to use it.

-the man loves weed. Him and hope smoke together.

-he has no idea how to take care of his hair

-to me he's associated with chronic illness, pain or disability in every universe. Or some mix or variation. (Ofc authors have free choice it's their story and I have no right for demands or anything) but I write him that way, hc him that way, get stupidly happy when I read it bc I feel so seen, search AO3 tags regularly for these portrayals.

-remus has no sense of style. But sirius doesn't care, he's so soft and cozy with his sweaters. The only thing about that is that I'm personally convinced hope bought remus a leather jacket, he shows up wearing it on the train, Sirius somehow gets his hands on it... Remus' eyes pop out of his head, maybe drools a bit- and it becomes Sirius' trademark

[mikeellee]

Hi!

Can I just say that I hate how in some fics even after Uraraka finds out what exactly Bkg did to Izu and what the name Deku actually is meant to mean she still calls him it? And doesn't even offer to call him literally anything else?! At that point it just feels mean spirited - what are your thoughts?

Hi, @doodlegirl1998

Ok, first let me say one thing(or more) BK never hides his true nature, what you see is what you get. I have seen stories where the person puts on the mask of a "nice guy" or tries to be subtle in their actions.

BK literally, canon here, tried to kill Izu (people forget he has bombs in his hands...even if we are to accept he is not meant to kill, he would have sent Izu to the hospital at the very least) and no one seemed to be shocked. This makes me think if this is somehow normal??

Kids being kids...

You have a quirk that makes plants grow, the other can break diamonds, it´s normal.

except, we never saw anything like that...it´s only BK who tries to kill Izu, always him. And I say again, it´s not bc he is quirkless, it´s bc Izu is his victim.

In fics where his so-called friends find out about BK´s abuse on Izu...it´s rare to find good ones...when they find out...not many changes. Ochako may call him DEKIRU which is a better name for him, I give that but is still linked to DEKU (look I don´t know Japanese nor their grammatic but it canon how Ochako thought Deku was similar to Dekiru, and even called him like that) and Izu goes along..."He is reclaiming the word"

But....think this way. Your abuser calls you dumb, and you want to reclaim the word dumb as something positive, can you do it? Maybe, good branding can do anything...but then again, the word dumb will have the same meaning for people who are out of your circle.

Meaning when Izu calls himself Deku, people are just hearing "useless" and it seems like a funny moment. "har har his name is Deku" but it has mean and dark undertones. (shocked but not surprised no teacher went to talk to him about his name. Midnight vetted BK´s name bc it was bad...no one could have done the same for Izu? "your name sounds too negative on you, please pick something else")

As for fics like that (running away from the topic lol) Ochako doesn´t have a solid character, and what we have is not a good image the stans like. So, in some fics she beat BK up (cool, I´m in favor) in some she is a background character, she worries for Izu but nothing comes out of it.

Ochako doesn´t have a solid character. How she would deal with bullying? She had friends in her old school? Was ever been bullied? we don´t know.

As if she continues to call him this name and says "You can reclaim it, be Dekiru" ( again, Dekiru is a better name for him) seems .... something advice a well-meaning would give, even though the said person is completely out of her depth.

Only Shoto is canonically abused here...and he has no say on how Izu was treated, or on BK (unless if is to say how they are friends) and if we are to take the latter into consideration....then Shoto is falling for the old mentality of abuse "you can get away from it"

Izu´s pain is seen as a joke or then a way to make a ship shine. Hell, this logic was used for Shindeku. Shinso beating up Bk to avenge Izu is pretty cool even if Shinso is a terrible character too.

To conclude, Ochako doesn´t have anything to stand for. She may be meant well (as she is the lover interest) but I do find it a bit sus she went for Dekiru instead of a pun with his name or hair. Like "Greenie" yeah maybe it´s not super creative but would be so much better.

[lej222]

personally to me this chapter is confusing in terms of jisu, like jisu's words do not match with his actions. he says that he is doing this for fun but then you can see a panel of him clenching his jaw when he finds out that miae was smiling bc cheol made her happy by inviting their friends to go to do laser tag, and he would go as far as to insult cheol's height and even say that he is not suited for miae. i personally do not think that he is doing this for fun i feel like this is a mask or a disguise to hide his true feelings for miae. but overall i'm just confused and i really wonder how soonkki is going to insert jisu into the plotline especially at this point. because when you look at his actions in the past he wants miae to remember him, thus giving her hints. he also plays soccer against cheol but then it is hinted that he is on par with cheol in terms of skills and that he can be a suitable rival which could hint that he is a second lead. i am fine with jisu not being the second lead but what i am confused about is how soonkki put so much effort into bringing up jisu's appearance (him having miae's name tag and him slowly building up a relationship with miae and miae slowly warming up to him) like i said it is fine if he isn't perceived as a love interest but at the same time i find it a bit odd that soonkki put all this buildup into his appearance and eventually him to end up as the relationship developer for cheol and miae. like looking back at his chapters and his pov with miae it doesn't make sense to me at all.

also apologies if this sounds a bit dramatic or i am making stuff up: jisu is my favorite character and he is to me, the most interesting one, the way he was brought up into the narrative hinted that he is going to be an important character. now, i'm not so sure.

I can understand your worries and Jisu is indeed an enigma because he has a very limited perspective.

I truly think he's the third most important character. He's been featured in ads, merch, official illustrations and so on. We've seen his house, his mother, plus a few times his own memories. He shares significant plot elements with Cheol and Miae, like you mentioned the name tag is one of the most symbolic of them. Jisu's past (at least what we've seen of it) shares way too many parallels with the main characters only for him to be an insignificant character who only exists to fuel Cheol's jealousy. If I'm sure about one thing, it's that we're just starting to get to know him.

I don't know if Jisu likes Miae at this point. I think even if he does, he's not aware of it. Jisu likes seeing Miae happy and we already saw that he's willing to interfere from behind the scenes to make it happen when he tried to use the cigarettes. However, I don't believe he's a stalker and even if he likes Miae, it's a new development for him. Jisu seemingly didn't seem to want to reconcile with Miae until he started noticing the coincidences - and if there's some higher power involved in the story, it likely started to intervene once Jisu acknowledged its existence. Jisu might feel like it's fun being around Miae and helping her while he might not want to be friends with Cheol. Jisu seems to have a very unique perspective about the world so for him these feelings could coexist, who knows.

I also don't think Jisu dislikes Cheol solely because of Miae. I've written posts about this before, but there's a really good theory that Jisu hates the Cheol from the rumours who has a gangster-like reputation. Because we do not know why Jisu is so indifferent about everything, one can assume that Jisu was abused in some form due to his unique personality. We've actually seen him getting bullied, the question is whether a person of authority like a teacher also left a bad impression on him. Jisu seems to openly show his dislike towards Cheol when he's being demanding, or from what his perspective it could seem like Cheol tries to overpower Miae. We know it's NOT true, but we do get Cheol's insight as readers. This is just a theory though, could be wrong. There are so many theories about Jisu in the KR fandom, this is just one of them, there's also the airplane theory and other interesting takes, so it's no surprise you also raised these questions! 🧐

[anandasamsara]

Need to let shit out and as i can't afford therapy anymore, here's the place

I have no idea what to do anymore. Been playing with the idea of an onlyfans or selling feet pics, but i don't have the persistence for even that. Can't pick up any commission work bc i can't draw. Can't keep the print shop bc i can't afford materials. Im considering just selling all machinery to pay the bills.

Dad's only got 500brl from his payment this month, bc he borrowed money from the bank and it's eating up his whole salary. No, i have no idea where the supposed money he's borrowed went into. No idea where he spent enough money to cut his salary in fucking half, paying 144 installments of 1500brl.

We have to pay 1350brl for the apartment, about 250 for all phones, 180 for the internet, and thankfully this month only 56 for electricity but it might have been wrong and we might still get another bill with the right amount.

Outside of that, we need to eat, and i need to pay for my new phone that i only got bc the old one was about to explode, plus our credit card is blocked bc we don't have 5k to pay it right now. The credit card was being used exclusively to buy food.

I lost my job with the psychiatrist to her new computer, mom thankfully still has her first husband's pension, and dad gave us 500. So we have, collectively, about 2k if i give up my savings, and then next month we're back to about 1300brl, which doesn't even pay the apartment.

Dad has a job, a public job, from where he can't be legally fired. But he's on medical leave, so he can't work extra hours to earn more. I do understand the pressure and how tired he is after almost 30 years, but he's the only one who has a job. When I started working for the psychiatrist, he dumped all of the bills on me, but i was only making 300 per week and now I don't have this anymore. He's on medical leave bc he hates the school he teaches at, and got the leave with his psychiatrist. But if he needs to go back to work, he can't change schools bc no school will take a teacher on medical leave, so he doesn't want to go back. As i said, i do understand all of his psychological issues, but why do I have to ignore mine, which are also physical, to take whatever job, but he can't go back to the job he already has?? Isn't fucking survival first? We can't afford FOOD!

I have a medical leave check for myself to see if i can get into health security benefits in a couple weeks, but what if i can't? What if they look at me and say tough luck, deal with it? I haven't had an interview lined up yet, i went physically to places to give them my resume, but im either way under or too over qualified for literally every position i tried. Jobs that just require high school level won't hire me bc im graduated at university level, and places that require uni level also want me to have at least a mastery, or 5 years experience, or both.

I don't actually want to become a cam girl or whatever, I can't do the jobs i have the means to keep bc the means are gone, im too depressed to draw anything, I can't afford higher education and i have no drive right now,

I spent the last month in such a spiral of depression, bc i can't show that im depressed or my mom's depression will get worse. My best friends sent me money and im so embarrassed about it bc i shouldn't need this kind of help at all, and it was only enough to keep up for a month in the end. I can't bring myself to take any kind of whatever job, like at a store or supermarket or cleaning bc i won't survive the pain. I can feel my health declining, im in pain all the time, my bad foot has been acting up everyday and my ok foot is also annoying me.

I can't see much of any solution for anything. I became a burden, to my parents and to myself. To everyone. If i wasn't here, maybe it would be different. Easier. Cheaper.

[ryuubff]

Howdy! Well! My MC was a unwanted child from rich family with crazy mother and unknown father. She was a golden child and perfect student with anger issues, she was like Satan in nightbrige, lol. When Anders(mc) was around 18-19, her mother killed herself in front her and blamed her for that. Bc of that, Anders started to saw mother's ghost(it was hallucination) everywhere, and she looked like a monster, what led to Anders became paranoid. Later she found a dog and left home to travel. One day some men attacked her and kill her dog, and almost her just for fun. But she was saved by dude who was a werewolf and he bite her, what saved her life. Werewolf was like a spirit and share soul with Anders (they're like Venom and Eddy, if you know them, it my hc, I mean in Obey we have vampire, so why not werewolf). I don't give wolf a name, but he loves Anders and they often talk to each other. After transformation, Anders found those men and killed everyone. She tells yourself that she doesn't remember what happened, but she does. After that, she planned kill yourself, bc no matter how good Wolf to her, she lost every person who was close to her (best friend, boyfriend, favorite teacher and dog was final shot). Wolf was against that, but didn't try to stop her, bc he can feel what she feels. And well, if Dia didn't summon her, she would be dead already.

That's why she hated to be called brothers family, bc she thinks she deserves to be alone and they left her too. And refused Solomon's proposal to be his apprentice. Yeah, he tricked her into apprentice life and felt guilty about it. At least he stays with her always and lived with her in human world.

She tried to be perfect for Lucifer, bc he reminded her of her mother. Plus that's was the reason why she didn't like him and felt panic when she not good enough in RAD or homework. But grandpa the best and much better than mother, so slowly she felt better about him.

Demons doesn't actually feel Wolf in her, bc he was connected with Anders soul. They're can use each other bodies, with or without consent. Her Wolf like a mutant bc angelic "blood" and the most powerful bc of that .D

Oh wow i wasnt expecting an in-depth lore dump from anyone but this was an interesting read! Thank you for sharing it is cool to see how people perceive the demon brothers and side characters in their mc’s lives and different perspectives help the brainrot 🔥🔥 and yeah i do agree that there most likely are werewolves if vampires exist since they often co-exist alongside one another!

[fakevariety]

0: Height

5'2

1: Age

14

2: Shoe size

women's 8 i believe

3: Do you smoke?

nope

4: Do you drink?

nope

5: Do you take drugs?

only medicated ones

6: Age you get mistaken for

um i really don't know it doesn't really happen

7: Have tattoos?

not yet, hopefully when i'm older

8: Want any tattoos?

see above ^^^ (yes)

9: Got any piercings?

just one on each ear

10: Want any piercings?

i want a septum piercing

11: Best friend?

yes.

12: Relationship status

single

15: Favorite movie

(currently) good will hunting

16: I’ll love you if…

i don't know how to answer this, it feels so hard to narrow it down.

17: Someone you miss

my dog, so so much

18: Most traumatic experience

um probably when my brother threatened to kill me with a knife, but idk it was a while ago. i'm lucky enough that i don't have that much trauma, at least i don't think

19: A fact about your personality

I'm very loyal.

20: What I hate most about myself

Oh god. my body and idk, a lot of things

21: What I love most about myself

i am good at giving advice, i think

22: What I want to be when I get older

author

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

besides the fact that we fight all the time i think i actually have a good relationship with my brother

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

um it's had some pretty bad parts but i'd say mostly good

25: My idea of a perfect date

idk, it really depends on the person. i also don't think the situation really matters, it just is a good date if you really enjoy it and feel comfortable

26: My biggest pet peeves

ok i always come up with some and forget but one is when people publish a piece of writing and instead of spelling out okay they say OK. that shit pisses me off it annoys me idk why

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

don't like anyone :)

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

hmmm idk how to describe him he is tall and has an ugly buzz cut and he's reallyyy fucking annoying luckily i only have one class with him. oh my god don't get me started on this boy he has said antisemitic things to me, he's homophobic and sexist, ughhhhh

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

to not hurt their feelings or hide something about myself i don't want to share. but it doesn't happen often i rarely lie to my friends, so any irls pls do worry if you see this lol

30: What I hate the most about work/school

i hate how the teachers are so fucking inconsiderate and don't do the work to communicate with each other at all and so they stack all the work up on us and it's so fucking stressful and they don't even give a shit

31: What my last text message says

"i am now dw"

32: What words upset me the most

basically any slurs used by people who shouldn't be using them

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

idk, pretty much just any nice word about me makes me feel nice

34: What I find attractive in women

where do i begin tbh

35: What I find attractive in men

nothing except for the fact that i want to look like some of them

36: Where I would like to live

i don't completely know but i LOVE Seattle

37: One of my insecurities

my body ig idk

38: My childhood career choice

professional soccer player

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

mint chocolate chip and chocolate love from taharka brothers

40: Who I wish I could be

someone who was happy with being happy

41: Where I want to be right now

physically? sitting at my dining room table eating dinner bc i am hungry. otherwise, idk

42: The last thing I ate

goldfish

44: A random fact about anything

the average person swallows six spiders in their lifetime :)

nosy anons let's go

0: Height

1: Age

2: Shoe size

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

13: Biggest turn ons

14: Biggest turn offs

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if…

17: Someone you miss

18: Most traumatic experience

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What my last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

40: Who I wish I could be

41: Where I want to be right now

42: The last thing I ate

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44: A random fact about anything

[nathank77]

10/24/24

3:22 p.m Added to bc I'm Ranting at 4 p.m

I really hate my mother's social worker. She comes in, and she knows all about my ocd and I can't touch the dog. And all that. And she gives me this look like I'm the shit on her sneakers.

Like you're perfectly able bodied just get over your shit and cope with your ocd and let your mother keep the dog and be the primary care taker. Bitch I tried to be the primary caretaker of Riley. I tried so fucking hard, I had panic attacks. My ocd got so much worse. My anxiety is through the roof and my autoimmune disorder reactivated!! I was so stressed I almost went full blown hyper after getting blood drawn for months and having normal levels and the only change was the fucking dog stressing me out bc I can't cope with my Contamination ocd.

I had to stop taking care of her so I don't have my eyes legit pop out of my head due to graves eye disease. So that I don't go full blown hyper. My fucking heart rate is still almost 100 and over sometimes despite the beta blocker bc it could take me months to go back to fully normal. And that's if I'm lucky and I don't push to full blown hyper.

The first time she was here, I forgot what she said to me but she was downplaying my ocd, oh why can't he do that? Why can't he touch that?

And this time, she said, "why can't you touch the dog? Bc of your anxiety?" And I said, "yup, I have ocd." And she said, "well my daughters friend is on medication that take all her intrusive thoughts away maybe you can try that, they help people." And I said, "umm nope, antidepressants are like throwing darts at a peg board, I have a master degree in neuroscience and I studied them and I'm never going to take one bc of what I've learned about them on a molecular level. I respect anyone who choses to take them but they aren't for me." Then she said, "well my daughters friends is a teacher and leads a fulfilling great life and she used to have such bad intrusive thoughts." And I said, "I'm glad they work for her but I'm not interested, as I said before they are like darts on a peg board, we don't fully understand the brain and I'm not willing to take them." She then said, "I guess we will have to agree to disagree." Ummm yea bitch.

Antidepressants aren't a Bandaid despite the psycho pharmaceutical industry prescribing them like Bandaids to almost every person with a mental illness. It's too bad benzodiazepines have tolerance issues as yea popping a valium if I'm afraid of something I touched would for a while make all my worries go away. They act on gaba. They increase gaba which makes you calm down.

Antidepressants work on serotonin and norepinephrine.... not gaba. And anxiety disorders are not depression. I hate how antidepressants are a Bandaid for psychology. I fucking hate it.

Anxiety and depression are fundamentally different on a molecular level. I get why they don't give people with ocd or anxiety disorders benzodiazepines for regular use bc of tolerance and lethality..... but antidepressants do not work on the same receptors. It doesn't make sense to take an antidepressants if you arent depressed.

Anyways after while I was cooking using my sleeves to exist, the lady said to my mom, "why doesn't he just wear gloves?" She said something about my thyriod and how I was already doing that but my anxiety was too high.

Even if I decided my graves disease wasn't important enough to put me first, THE DOG WILL NEVER BE HAPPY HERE. WE CANNOT TAKE HER TO THE VET. SHE HAS EATEN SO MANY THINGS THAT SHE COULD DIE FROM AND WE CANT DO ANYTHING.

My health is important. And even if I didn't have ocd and graves disease that got exacerbated from my Contamination ocd and the dog, I wouldn't help, why?

THE SWEET ADORABLE DOG DESERVES A BETTER HOME. SHE DESERVES A YARD. SHE DESERVES SOMEONE WHO CAN PET HER WITHOUT GLOVES. SHE DESERVES TO GO TO THE VET. SHE DESERVES ALL THE THINGS WE CANT GIVE HER.

The saddest thing is, she looks at me and then looks at my hands to see if my gloves are on and if they are her tail wags. She deserves better than that bc I don't always pet her when they are on bc I can't.

Either way her social worker clearly sees a able bodied lazy pos who should just put a Bandaid on a 12 inch open wound and pretend it fixed the problem..

I can't wait until she stops coming. You have no idea if you saw how she looks at me. I'm fucking scum to her.

She has no concept of how crippling ocd is. There is a reason ocd is on the state disability list. Trust me my brain is always on alert looking for something that might kill or harm me trying to protect me.

People don't understand. Ocd is fucking crippling. And antidepressants do not work on the right molecular pathways inwhich are corrupted or abnormal in ocd and anxiety disorders.

Antidepressants should only be percribed for DEPRESSION.

Also think antipsychotics and the dopamine theory of schizophrenia. It is the most supported hypothesis of schizophrenia. Yet there are other neurotransmitters at play. Gaba, glutemate, etc. You give someone like me who hallucinates an antipsychotics and the voice and hallucinations do not go away!!! Why??? Bc even more specialized medications such as antipsychotics are a darts on a peg board. We do not understand the brain. We don't understand schizophrenia. We don't understand any of it. All of the brain is fucked up and targeting one neurotransmitter or a few when you hardly understand how the brain works isn't always going to help. Antipsychotics are a prime example of that!! They are more specialized and given for a specific reason. The side effect profile is disgusting...... but antidepressants are a Bandaid for the entire psycho pharmaceutical industry.

Benzodiazepines are also like throwing darts at a peg board but they actually have medical uses that they are profoundly effective for. For example, Insomnia. They fucking work. Let's get even more into it, seizures, muscle cramps and spasms. Benzodiazepines work for that too. But then again there is TOLERANCE.

Like Adderall we over diagnosis kids with ADHD for acting like kids and the psycho pharmaceutical industry makes billions off of Adderall and Ritalin prescriptions bc every year every kid who acts like a kid if their parents can't cope with the hyperactivity due to being forced to sit in a chair for 8 hours a day at school the easiest thing to do is give them Adderall. Then they sit and focus and we change their brain chemistry forever and beyond that adhd isn't fucking real not in kids. Diagnosis should only happen in 18 plus... if you are hyper and fucking can't focus at 18 then maybe you have bipolar. But let's call it adhd. I don't believe in it.

Adderall is a dart at a peg board too. Not all meds are.... antibiotics for an example. We understand this virus can be eradicated with this pill if you take it for 7 days twice a day.

Not all meds are bandaids or fucking darts at peg boards... but I hate to say it we do not understand the brain. We are "medicating" something we hardly understand.

Also here is Riley eating a wire when she was in the crate.... this is why even if I didn't have Graves and ocd... I wouldn't lift a finger. I want her in a SAFE HOUSE. We can't take her to the vet.... she got this when I wasn't watching her. So fuck off social worker. Even if I wasn't ill, I'm not helping my mother keep this poor innocent dog, this is not a safe environment for her!

[bi-hop]

4, 5, 6, 10, 12, 13 for the fic writer asks!

hehe alright

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

Hm. In general, I'm always pretty proud of the worldbuilding I do. Elf-made and gnome-approved T-gel in Only I See You, plays being forced to only have Noxian elements in My New Boyfriend Has Blood On His Hands?!?, even just the general fact of how subtly wrong the framing fairytale is in Birdcages All The Way Down. I like building off of a world or warping it.

... I REALLY want to say a detail of The Loyal Spouse, but I can't yet-

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

Honestly, for some of my fics, I just wish they'd get comments at all. Does that make sense? I have no specific questions I need in mind. I'm usually happy to answer 'why did you choose to write this exact moment/dialogue' questions though bc I always have an absurd answer.

6. What’s one fact about the universe of [insert fic] that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

I dunno if this has ever happened to me? I'm always saying shit in the fic directly. But lemme look at my notes real quick.

... Okay, yeah, if you don't read my author's notes, you will NOT know every emoji Laios uses for his friends and teacher. And so the latest chapter's joke might be confusing.

There's just no organic way to mention all of them without someone else going through his phone or something like that, because he doesn't see his sorting system as remarkable.

10. How do you decide what to write?

Copy and pasting this one from an earlier post. It really is just a matter of chance. As in, what am I interested in or hyperfixated on right now? What stories do I think that I am good at telling with this material? What stories do I think are missing in this space?

With Only I See You, for example, I just decided to write it on a whim. I wanted to write about university stuff in a comedy. And that’s what came out. The Loyal Spouse though, which is what I’m also writing right now? It’ll make more sense when the story comes out, but I wanted to write something I wasn’t really seeing being done with Kabru. And that’s all I can say.

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

No one is ever going to believe this, but I used to hate stories where manipulative characters were 100 percent accepted in a friend group. Or got much love in general. Part of it, I think, is just that I was dealing with too much at the time. I was railing against the concept of manipulation with no nuance due to the relationships I was being subjected to, especially because multiple people were calling me manipulative to hurt me at the time. You can even see this in my old characters, where I'd always have at least one person who was wise to the cruelty and openly disdainful.

Obviously, now, I write manipulators basically everyday. Hi, Jhin! Hi, Kabru! Hi, [insert OCs] here! And they're all very different, of course, because manipulation on its own doesn't mean much. I could guide someone into giving someone else a scholarship, and I could also make it so they'd never consider giving that money away. (General I, not me. I can't persuade anyone-)

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

Hm... I used to read a lot of soulmate fanfiction when I was little. I got into fanfiction as a thing because I wanted to see two characters from that wizard school series (lmao) get together. And I liked the mini genre of fics where they were destined to be together, where the canon ships they were in were just mistakes or the product of manipulation (lmao, see?), and where they even all seemed to have telepathic links?

I wouldn't say I hate soulmate fanfiction, but the telepathic link and the use of gods to justify it as a thing isn't something I see much. But I can't write it myself or I'll be forever reminded of Harry Potter LMAOOO I can't win

[slimschance]

Thursday - 20/05/24

7:11am

erm? so basically my whole day, today, has changed with no influence from me. mum knows i'm bad with change and my teacher told her a lack of control over my situation is one of my biggest stressors, so why would she do that??

i was meant to be visiting my nan in hospital today as she was in the ICU last night, but mums just changed it to me going to our local town with my other nan, my cousin and my aunt. i'm honestly trying my best to stay calm, i do think it's working, i don't feel any of the common effects i get when anxious but that's not the point. it's still on my mind. why would she do that? i spent all night thinking how the day would go, the car journey, the music, how the hospital looks (thankfully i know the ward as i visited my uncle there just days before; he should be leaving today!), what to say, how to act and preparing myself for anything she could say since shes on the steroids.

i just want to see that she's doing well

5:29pm

well that were a long day ermm 😅 my family were moody but we all got on well. we ate, my first and what was meant to be my only meal of the day, i had avocado + poached egg on sourdough, i can't lie it were fucking lush and i think i needed it. we then went shop, i got some supplements, a levi roots carribean crush drink, sauce dipping dishes for my veg, gum, stickers and fake nails, i bought a lot of them bc i'm gonna take them round my cousins, she's wanting to get some so i just bought an array for her, i'll keep the ones she doesn't like.

my other cousin we met in town, drove back to nans and we made a lego bonzai tree my uncle didn't want. she was meant to take it with her but forgot ahaha. oh well, it looked great!

nans safe after her operation but needs to be guarded at all times, she's trying to get up and leave and really hasn't a clue on what's going on. keeps chatting shit that means a whole lot of nothing, she's obviously impacted mentally by the surgery and steroids, speaking gobbledygook.

don't know if my uncles out hospital or no, worrying but i'll find out soon enough

i had a huge dinner... regretting it but again, tasted fucking amazing

i had fried egg, noodles and chicken gyozas. 5 to be exact, must write it so i can log in a sec.

at my nans house still and we just watching antiques roadshow, we were watching all the quiz shows before, standard stuff lol

9:18pm

just spent an hour peeling pomegranate then making a salad! it was actually fun peeling the pomegranate and i'll def do it again, i just hate preparing other fruit and veg, my fingers get weird and soggy and eughh. i'm lowk proud of myself for not rage quitting nor crying, i cannot cope with that shit. anyway, all that time on my feet must count for something. i made loads for me and mum tomorrow, am gonna try do omad tmrw, the salad i prepared with a small amount of baguette.

the salad had:

- pomegranate

- yellow pepper

- red grapes

- spinach

- co-op salad mix (lettuce, grated carrot, red cabbage)

- chickpeas

- feta cheese

- chia seeds

10:22pm

(the urge to put 22:22)

what da helllll ! !

safe to say i'm never living this down. worst bit is, i don't even feel that full, it's just as filling as my <650 days.

anyway, our cars buggered after like 8 years of being reliable. this year was meant to be the year we went on holiday after all the covid bullshit yk, but i think most money we may have will go for a car. i do genuinely think the car is a better use of the money but it's a shame... good job nothing was booked yet x

shame as well since we've sacrificed quite a few things to save for holiday and now it feels like for nothing. a notable thing being i'm still sleeping on a janky spring mattress despite it giving me major pain in my body.

still have no clue how we'll see nan with the car in a state as we're meant to be going hospital tomorrow but whatever... another unexpected day, yip fucken pee !