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Asked this on Twitter as well, because it's bugging me...

In Our Flag Means Death, does Stede remember that he was kidnapped by Chauncey? He's been letting everyone lay into him for failing to show up at the dock, content to let them think he's just commitment-phobic/irresponsible/an idiot, but Chauncey abducted him with every intention of killing him! Stede would be dead if the Badminton wasn't a drunken idiot, and he managed to get a few mental hits in before shooting himself in the face. That's very different from the "I panicked" explanation he gave Ed.

At first I thought this was some weird self-flagellation thing - more of Stede's "everyone treats me badly so I must deserve it" trauma combined with guilt at what happened in his absence - but both Ed and Stede seem to have big gaps in their memories (Ed doesn't remember the talent show; Stede is fuzzy on the duel with Izzy). And, in interviews, David Jenkins talks as if Stede screwed everyone over and now must atone for it, rather than suffering a traumatic event that night.

Everyone on the Revenge is scared of Ed now, but it's clear they all essentially hold Stede responsible. Surely someone like Oluwande would be able get the full story of that night out of Stede...unless Stede truly, genuinely blacked out or blocked the memory out of trauma, and therefore he was left to work out why he was a no-show...and assumed the worst of himself.

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Welp. That was...something.

Obviously, major spoilers for the Good Omens Season 2 finale under the cut.

I'm disappointed and a bit depressed by the ending, but I have to admit that I'm not really surprised. Something about this season just felt...sad. i know a lot of people spent 5 episodes happily squeeing and then got gut-punched by the ending, but, to me at least, there wasn't the playfulness and levity of season 1 - not even in the happier/more comedic scenes. There was always a melancholy undercurrent: Nina's relationship isn't healthy, Maggie's interested in Nina but the timing is off, the flashbacks focus on the intense loneliness of Crowley and Aziraphale's existence throughout history, Aziraphale's terrified he's a bad angel and he's going to Fall, Crowley doesn't seem to have a clue what he's doing half of the time...Lots of focus on insecurity, unhealthy codependence, bad timing and sheer miscommunication.

That said, I got unpleasant "gotcha!" elements from the way thinga played out, and I hate it when the writers prioritise wrong-footing their audience over story flow - hated it in Voltron, hated it in Sherlock, hated it in the umpteen webcomics I used to read in the 2000s. I'm not going to call it baiting yet - this season was clearly made with one eye firmly on a potential S3 - but with all the publicity, the impression we're left with is "This is a love story! Look, see these two protagonists who adore each other and who you're so invested in? Surely it's time for them to move their relationship forward?PSYCHE! - they're separated, miserable and everything is terrible! See these cute new characters who are clearly a parallel to our heroes, the ones we've focused a lot on in the publicity? PSYCHE! - they were never going to happen, becaise we wanted to make a point about meddling in relationships and sensible time frames after a break up!" (Admittedly, while anvilicious, the moral here was definitely sensible). "Oh but the antagonists, the ones who tried to wipe our heroes from existence last season? THEY get the cute love story and happy ending!"

I admit, plenty of fans saw the Ineffable Bureaucracy coming a mile off. And many point out - quite correctly - that if GO is a three season show following the beats of a love story, this is the second act break-up. I also suspect that, with the signiicant overlap between GO and Our Flag Means Death, the fandom's rabid reaction to OMFD's romantic cliffhanger may have inspired the GO team to bank on a similar reaction to secure season 3...but OFMD is aiming to put its fandom out of its misery in about a year and a half from its angsty ending. Good Omens had a four year gap between S1 and S2. If it sticks with that, I suspect viewer apathy and/or disillusionment may set in before S3.

All in all, I personally feel like I'll be able to enjoy S2 fully only after S3 arrives (and provided it's not equally/more miserable). Which smarts a bit after being so delighted and wound up about Crowley and Aziraphale's return. A waste of anticipation, if you will.

One thing I will say though, is that I believe the kiss was deliberately bad. (If you want to see a kiss where the actors REALLY look like they're being held at gunpoint, have a look at Red Dwarf's Season 7 episode "Blue"). Crowley's furious and desperate and heartbroken - his kiss is aggressive and unforgiving. Aziraphale is miserable and guilty and totally blindsided - he has no clue what to do, alternating between wincing away and pulling Crowley close. I don't think this is an "the actors are finding this tremendously awkward" kiss - it's an "these two characters are in a terrible headspace and between them, have all the romantic experience of a particularly naive potato" kiss. If Season 3 turns things around, I would expect Kiss Number 2 to be even more epic and heartwarming as a result of contrasting iuth this car-crash lip-lock...as long as not too much time has passed between seasons.

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Been a while...must muck out the spambots tomorrow.

I don't know if it's just Old Git Syndrome kicking in, but is anyone else feeling a bit sad about the state of the internet? I don't just mean the Twitter fiasco, but it really struck me that the internet has gone from being a big information playground to just a massive shop window. In ye olden days of the late 90s/early 2000s, I could find umpteen fansites on the most niche of TV series (I still love you, ReBoot, even if it seems I was the only one within a 200 mile radius that did at the time). Every single one would have different sections, different character biographies, different episode guides, different fanfic. All were a labour of love, and you could wander for hours using the ancient magic of Links pages and Webrings.

Now even a massive series like Voltron (in its time), or cult favourites like OFMD or Good Omens, get a Wikipedia page, one fandom wiki and a TV Tropes entry. And even TV Tropes is significantly less fun than it was, with a lot of the humour being cropped out. Social media has poached a lot of the old-school fandom content, but the various apps and sites are such a mess that they can't really do the same job.

Am I missing a trick, and have just been going round in the same circles that have gotten smaller and smaller? To be honest, the only part of the internet that I visit purely for fun are the aforementioned TV Tropes, and AO3. Otherwise...I'm probably shopping.

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On one hand: totally heartbreaking. This comic goes from hilarious (tiny angry Keith!) to absolutely devastating (Future Lance mangled and Future Keith traumatised). On the other hand...I love any story where Blue's bond with her boy is beyond doubt!

DTOK page 22! (First)(Previous)(Next)

older keith just waltzing in AIRING OUT LANCE'S INSECURITIES

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UPDATE: Contacted Jam City, and they claim "this is currently the way the game was designed to function". How does that make sense? If Alanza's stats are intended to be 40/43/40, then why not label her that from the outset instead of constantly moving the goalposts? The only thing I can think of is that it changes as she levels up....but last time it "jumped", I don't think I'd raised her level, just my own empathy stat. Is this happening to everyone?

Can anyone playing Hogwarts Mystery Year 6+ tell me what recommended minimum attributes they have for Alanza? I swear that hers go up every time I raise my Empathy stat.

That's not an exaggeration - pretty sure her stats were 38/39/38 (Courage, Empathy Knowledge), then when I hit 39 empathy, they all jumped to 40/40/40, then when I got to Empathy 40, they vaulted to 40/43/40. Are the programmers doing something mad or have I hit a particularly obnoxious bug?

Beatrice did something similar the first time, but (at the risk of jinxing it) she seems to be staying at 40/40/40.

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Can anyone playing Hogwarts Mystery Year 6+ tell me what recommended minimum attributes they have for Alanza? I swear that hers go up every time I raise my Empathy stat.

That's not an exaggeration - pretty sure her stats were 38/39/38 (Courage, Empathy Knowledge), then when I hit 39 empathy, they all jumped to 40/40/40, then when I got to Empathy 40, they vaulted to 40/43/40. Are the programmers doing something mad or have I hit a particularly obnoxious bug?

Beatrice did something similar the first time, but (at the risk of jinxing it) she seems to be staying at 40/40/40.

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Helpful former homeowner.

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Pumpkinseed Caramel ‘Twix’ Bars

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It's been a while since I talked about Scottish independence. I should really fix that.

For now, I'll simply remark that it's very odd that the "impartial" BBC keeps talking about Scottish independence (usually whining about why it shouldn't happen) without a single Scot present.

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Curse my YouTube Recommends list...

.. and goddamit, all you creators who put the damn spoilers in the thumbnail! I wanted Rapidash to be a surprise when I played SW/SH myself.

Still, it looks like it's now open season for spoilers, and I'm not sure how long my self discipline would last anyway. Oh well.

Still, in respect for those with more luck, more self control and less uncontrolled curiosity than me, my thoughts are under a cut:

1) I admit: a little disappointed with the lack of wings. I let myself get my hopes up because the two Ponytas in the Glimwood Tangle stream clearly looked upwards before galloping off, as though their attention was drawn to something (like a parent) in the sky. 

2) That said, I never look a gift unicorn in the mouth, and Galar Rapidash is a majestic rainbow floof. All hail!

3) Not sure about the design choice re:the eyes. That is a bloody judgmental looking equine. No matter how I customise my trainer, I have horrifying visions of Rapidash coming out of its Pokeball to critique my fashion choices, or refusing to battle until I get myself to a boutique and stop being an embarrassment to my whole team.

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Why Allurance Didn’t Work (for me): Part 2

EDIT: Someone asked for a link to Part 1, which I forgot to include - oops!

Part 1

Extremely late with this (summer really, really hates me), but I’m posting this for the sake of continuity - I’ll probably edit, revise and stick it all in one huge post once I’m done, but I need to feel like I’ve made some progres 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T…and lack thereof:

This wasn’t shown as a “toxic” relationship (Tumblr’s favourite buzzword), but it was an unhealthy one for one very big reason: the serious difference in respect that these two had for each other, and that fact that neither of them had a particularly healthy level of respect. In short: Lance respected Allura to the point he put her on a pedestal, and that’s not healthy; Allura had nowhere near that amount of respect for Lance and always regarded him as somewhat inferior, and that is also unhealthy.

Allura respected Lotor. He was an equal. She listened to what he had to say, and took suggestions from him without letting him walk over her. Even when what he was proposing was dangerous, or may have set off a few alarm bells in her head, she heard him out and, more often than not, agreed to try it.

Allura also respected Shiro. She admired his bravery and intelligence; there was never any doubt in her mind that he was the field leader. Even when they clashed, Allura never dismissed Shiro’s opinions – she may have overridden them, but she did so knowing that he had a valid point and was unlikely to be dissuaded.

By contrast, Lance pleads with her not to kill herself, and she brushes him off.

It’s never explored, but I think a big part of this is the fact that both Lotor and Allura were royalty, while Shiro was clearly a captain from the get-go, and had the paw of the Black Lion on his shoulder to prove it. Allura had already decided that Lance could never understand the burden of royalty/leadership, and never gave him a chance to. But…not to be too hard on our badly-mistreated space queen, but I’m willing to bet that being royalty also made Allura consider Lance below her in rank: he is, after all, “just a boy from Cuba”. (Arguably, there are even traces of this in Allura/Shiro interactions – he is very much a highly valued and respected Captain of the Guard, but definitely not a prince.) We never see Allura defer to Lance in places where she probably should (he tries to teach her about Blue for weeks, but she ignores him). She likes the comfort he offers when she’s made a mistake, but won’t take his advice when it could help her dodge one of those mistakes. She humours him, but doesn’t take his concerns seriously. She likes the security of the family he has in tow, but never looks particularly delighted to see Lance himself. She shows some signs of appreciating Lance in Season 7, but by Season 8 I’m left with the distinct impression that she was badgered into going out with him. She cares for him, absolutely! She just…doesn’t really respect him.

And given the state Lance’s self esteem is in, that’s absolutely lethal. Lance badly needed a partner who saw value in him. Not someone to boost his ego and bravado, but who genuinely believed in him, enjoyed his company, and didn’t view him as the consolation prize (note: this is a relatively low bar, Voltron writers, and Allura could easily have been the one to hop over it if you hadn’t been so obsessed with making the two of them suffer). To make a truly healthy relationship, it also had to be someone who was better for Lance being there – a relationship where Lance was bringing something to the table that was valuable and unique to him. But Lance can’t buffer Allura’s self-destructive tendencies – all he can do is hang on while it all falls apart.

Then bring in Lance’s worship of Allura. She can do no wrong in his eyes; if Allura says it, it must be so (except for the phrase “no, I’m not interested in dating you”, apparently). Yet Lotor also accorded Allura a respect that Lance doesn’t – Lance wants to protect Allura, Lotor encourages her to step forward.

There’s a seriously weird paradox here: Lance’s protectiveness isn’t without reason - as usual, he’s ultimately proven right about Allura’s poor choices and tendency to put herself in danger. After all, Lotor is a scumbag, he is using Allura to achieve his seriously dubious goals, and Allura will do something stupidly and needlessly self-sacrificial. But that’s bad writing, not stupidity on Allura’s part. Any writer reading over this would surely think “Hang on, is it a good idea to have the jealous suitor’s complaints all be proven totally right, or should we go back and rewrite this so that at least he’s basing his opinion on something more than “he’s dating my girl and I don’t like it”?” It’s an easy fix - a scene with Lance happening across Lotor acting suspiciously, or a scene where Lance approaches Allura and explains his concerns honestly and privately. But when it comes to Lotor, instead of Lance as the people-watcher and observer of the team, we get Lance the jealous Romeo.

This is one of the most bizarre problems with Lance’s characterisation as a whole: the writers set him up to look foolish and envious, then they prove him right, then they tell us he’s foolish and envious. His anger with Keith going on the Mamora mission, his doubt that Keith should automatically become the Black Paladin, his mistrust of Lotor…all of these are totally justified concerns. While Shiro never apologises for favouritism, both Keith and Allura acknowledge that Lance was correct in his assessment of the situation. But they fail to join up the dots and explicitly confirm this as Lance’s role in the roster. Nobody ever gives Lance his place as the socially aware “heart” of the team – the writers explicitly give that title (and Lion) to Allura, and have Lance himself praise her for it. (For my part, Lance is the Heart, Shiro is the Head and Allura is the Soul of the team…but that’s yet another tangent). Five minutes after someone has pointed out Lance Was Right, the status quo must be restored: he’ll do something immature, or you can count on Keith, Pidge or Hunk doing something thoughtless to Lance in the name of comic relief. Then the audience is expected to laugh along, and Lance’s self esteem continues to spiral.

That said, I am in no way saying that Allura had to “fix” Lance – that’s not her job. So…kudos for avoiding the “girl helps insecure guy find himself via unfair division of emotional labour”, but those kudos are immediately revoked for doing “guy desperately tries to stop girl’s spiral into self-destruction via unfair division of emotional labour, only to fail and end up with a dead girlfriend and endless angst.” (This, incidentally, is tied to Lance being “The Chick” of Voltron – but, yet again, we’ll get into that later.)

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No accounting for taste or Tories

Boris is now the UK's Prime Minister. I feel like I'm living in a Spitting Image sketch.

To those who don't know: this is the guy who rose to prominence as "Have I Got News For You"'s favourite stooge.

Time to go, Scotland. Just about every disaster predicted by the Yes campaign has come true. It really was THAT predictable. Take a hint.

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I love AC, but I admit to being bemused by the graphics. Is it just in reasonably early development, or are they going for a plasticine aesthetic?

First look at Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Releasing March 20, 2020.

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I will admit to finding it funny that the next Fire Emblem game has a house/team called the Blue Lions that favour using lances. Apparently, even other fictional universes thought that the lion swap was a bit crap.

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I was wondering how long it would take something like this to appear on my dashboard!

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Why Allurance didn’t work (for me at least)

This was meant to be a brief detour before I started griping about the way each individual characters were treated in Voltron, but it turned into an absolute monster, so I;m posting it in parts so that I’ll finish the thing. 

Also: not tagging this Allurance, because heaven knows that set of shippers has been badly treated by the show already. No need to add my vitriol to the whole mess.

The thing that flummoxes me about that failure of Allurance was that it should have worked. It was the safe choice (shipping issues aside). The setup was all done. It should have been cute.

How the hell did it fail this badly?

Falling at the Starting Blocks:

First of all, while the groundwork was laid, it contained two major stumbling blocks that led to UNFORTUNATE IMPLICATIONS in big, shiny capital letters: Lance’s relentless pursuit of Allura, and the team’s (and show’s) failure to demonstrate that Lance is more than one of life’s runners up.

Lance had pursued Allura relentlessly despite her repeatedly stated disinterest. Poor Allura falls out of cryo-sleep and is faced with some kid flirting with her…whereupon she insults his ears and decks him. I have no idea why writers continue to think that this harassment-followed-by-violent-retribution is “cute”. For the rest of the prologue, Lance continues to be…well, a graceless teenager, talking over Allura before she can explain the Blue Lion’s qualities, acting the big shot and getting made an ass of as a result. Any time he hits on Allura, she’s exasperated – not threatened (she could wipe the floor with him) but certainly annoyed. Even as Lance shows more maturity in other areas, when it comes to Allura his character development suddenly gets thrown out the window. For example, the “greatness within” moment (probably the best and most genuine Lance/Allura moment in the show, so of course it comes to nothing) is undermined by Lance’s jealous snits five minutes later. The message being sent is that jealousy is an unavoidable (and even endearing, since Lance is clearly supposed to be the “virtuous” option to the “seductive and conniving” Lotor) part of being in love. It is not! That’s a terrible message to send to kids! It teaches young boys that pouting and sulking will make their crush give in, and that young girls should accept jealousy as a sign that they are loved. I have no words for how screwed up that is. True, Lance’s angst in later seasons is kept to himself, but we the viewers are still privy to it. I adore Lance, but this part of his characterisation was a disaster: like Shiro’s favouritism, Keith’s isolationism and Pidge’s selfishness, it was a fault that was never explored or addressed properly as a fault, and therefore we’re meant to think it’s okay.

It's also worth noting that real girls, unlike Allura, are unlikely to have a strength and combat advantage over an unwanted male suitor, so that should have been taken into consideration.

The second problem was establishing that Lance has a serious complex about being the second pick/runner up/consolation prize – and that the narrative constantly reinforced that this was correct. Lance can’t be someone’s first pick, he doesn’t get anything unique or special that he can actually keep for himself because he is, in the EPs’ eyes, the living personification of “meh.” Blue is Lance’s moment in the spotlight, but come Season 3 she locks him out because someone needs to be knock-off Keith. He’s the team shooter, until everyone and their dog gets a gun of their own. Hell, when his own family are introduced, the first thing established is how superior Veronica is to her loser of a younger brother, how respected and independent and badass she is. And with Allura, we know fine well that she’d choose Lotor over Lance – because that’s exactly what she did. Lance got to be a shoulder to cry on when it all went pear shaped…which actually ties into the first problem, because we’re left with either a “nice guy” situation (just sacrifice enough for her, and be there for her all the time, and mope over her, and never move on, and never give up and she’ll HAVE to date you!) or Allura using Lance as a rebound. Not a great start.

As adults, we know that we’ll probably not be our partner’s technical “first choice”: a tiny minority of us marry the first person we date, and even fewer are still with that person when we die. However, Lance was clearly and blatantly a backup plan in this situation: Allura was traumatised, she was lonely, and Lance had a family that she envied – and he was interested. So he’d do.

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Another "you know that fic where..."

Does anyone recall the title of a fanfic in which Lance ends up in floods of tears, Hunk makes blue rice pudding to comfort him, and Pidge apologises on behalf of herself and Hunk for being jerks and yanking Lance's chain (Lance comments "This is the most aggressive apology I've ever gotten"). It was set pre-Lion swap.

Bizarrely, I can remember that one scene, and nothing else. I think it was a Klance fic though...hope it's still around, because I loved that part, and remember it being a really good story...

EDIT: Just recalled something - it was a Love Bug story -in fact, it may have been one of (if not THE) original stories. Kind of worried that Google-fu hasn't turned up any results...I'd be a little gutted if it had been taken down.

EDIT 2: If anyone’s curious, this is “Love Bites” by  ArchetypeOfAdespota, and it is indeed a great fic!