#and i guess the answer is. the point is WHY NOT (by loona)
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in conclusion, I have no choice but to try to recover again. or else another two years will pass me by and I'll be so fucking tired
#it's so terrifying and no one gets it unless they've experienced it first hand lol#like it's easy to think that it's just the Vanity Mental Illness but for me. its the perfectionism illness. it's the i need to feel like#everything is not falling apart always illness#and to let go of it is terrifying. but i have to try or else I'll be so stuck#more than i already feel what with depression#one less illness will make things less insufferable in the long term. i keep telling myself that.#it's weird because im so attached to having a restrictive eating disorder. it's like a shadow that follows me everywhere#but i have to get a new shadow or else I'll be burdening myself further. i keep thinking#'whats the point of trying to get better if it's all doomed anyway? if im so fucked anyway? if I'll kill myself anyway?'#and i guess the answer is. the point is WHY NOT (by loona)#kidding no but actually#the answer is why not give it a shot. like just for the sake of it#how do you KNOW it's all fucked#if it really truly is and you cant take it anymore then the eating disorder is there#you can take it back. reunite rekindle the flame whatever#i dont believe anything im typing rn btw like im suffering in real time bc everything feels so utterly pointless#but whatever if i kill myself at least it'd be with one less illness. or something. i dont know#at least it wouldn't be because i was hungry LMFAO#z.post
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Is the knowledge of magic gatekept by Hell's elite?
Time for another shitpost speculative analysis. And, suddenly, no conclusions—just some facts I’ve gathered about the topic from the show and a bunch of questions for you. Because this time, as much as I would’ve liked to deliver some hot details, there isn’t enough information yet, and I prefer not to claim anything without having at least some degree of certainty in it.
So let's just talk and make some fun, semi-educated guesses, shall we?
Yesterday, @tealvenetianmask released a wonderful post about Blitzø and his insecurity regarding his intelligence. Give it a read—it's a topic that isn’t discussed enough. One of the points raised was his limited access to education, which made me think.
Grimoire.
An infinitely powerful artifact possessed by Stolas Goetia is central to the series, at least before The Full Moon episode, as it is the only way for Blitzø to access the mortal realm. While it serves its own purposes for bringing together—and ultimately breaking apart—Stolas and Blitzø, it also has many interesting properties and details that allow us to speculate on magic as a whole.
It made me think: Who theoretically can use this grimoire or other spell artifacts? Why is it that no one but Stolas is permitted to use it? Are there genetic and/or biological reasons for this, or is the restriction societally driven?
Namely, would all hell beings be able to use magic if given the chance to learn it?
Let’s examine the evidence we have and try to answer at least some of these questions.
Clue one: Using the grimoire by anyone other than Stolas is illegal
It is clearly stated by Stolas himself in these two episodes.
You know, I have been... permitting you to access the mortal realm less than... legally for quite some time now? S1EP1, Murder Family, 8:31
You will be able to go anywhere you want in the human realm without fear of consequence. Without breaking demon law. You no longer need my grimoire. S2EP8, The Full Moon, 19:05
The question is, why? We know it’s not crucial to have Goetia blood to channel magic from the grimoire—Loona has read spells from it, as we'll discuss later.
Could the reason be that the Goetia family wants to keep their powerful artifacts a secret and maintain their hold on power?
Clue two: Magic books are written in runes
The grimoire and Stolas's book about Asmodean crystals are written in runes, suggesting the potential existence of a language barrier when sharing magic-related knowledge.
Left - S1EP6, Truth Seekers, 17:44 Right - S2EP1, The Circus, 19:45
It is oddly convenient if you want fewer people to understand the sacred information you wish to keep to yourself.
Clue three: Stolas does not need his grimoire to cast spells from it
It is briefly discussed in the Seeing Stars episode.
[Blitzo]: No chance you can conjure us a couple of those, can ya? [Stolas]: Sadly, no. I'm afraid without my grimoire, my powers are just a tad limited in the human world. [Blitzo]: What, you can't memorize your fucking spells? [Stolas]: Oh, your memory's so great? S2EP2, Seeing Stars, 6:33
See, Stolas does not deny Blitzø's assumption and gets annoyed when his memory is belittled. Therefore, I believe we can safely deduce that it is indeed a matter of only remembering the necessary chants to cast a spell. It is still possible that the artifact holds power on its own and Stolas needs it to access magic in the mortal realm, but it doesn't seem like the absence of the book prevented him from making two poor little human beings soil their little fancy trousers.
S1EP6, Truth Seekers, 19:11
And he does not need the book to summon the portals, it is seen multiple times throughout the series.
S1EP6, Truth Seekers, 20:10
Not mentioning him performing small magic tricks quite regularly:
Left - S2EP6, Oops, 7:42 Right - S2EP8, The Full Moon, 2:00
So, can we make a conclusion the grimoire is not so unique after all, if to memorize all the spells? Not sure, because... okay, I promise, we will get back to it later.
Clue four: Loona can use the grimoire, even though she is a lower-class demon
And she can shapeshift without any artifacts, which might suggest she has more magical abilities than other members of I.M.P. Her ability to read runes is also noteworthy.
Shhhit! I can't... I can't read the spell in this light! I can't see dick! S1EP6, Truth Seekers, 17:43
Do you think she could become a skilled magician with proper education? It's quite impressive that she knows the rune language to begin with, given her origin!
Clue five: Blitzø, Millie, and Moxxie are never seen using the book
Is this accidental, or are they simply unable to use the book? If the latter, is it because they are physically incapable of channeling magic (e.g., due to being imps), or is it because they don’t understand the language of the spells?
I noticed them bantering about replacing Loona because of her horrible attitude once or twice (such as at the beginning of the Seeing Stars episode). Does this mean they could take on her responsibility of opening the portal, or is it just bluff? There’s no way to know for sure.
If I'm so terrible, how about you just grow a pair and replace me? S2EP2, Seeing Stars, 3:03
Clue six: The I.M.P. crew is never shown trying any spells from the book other than those for portals
I.M.P. never tries any spells other than opening the portal, which seems strange, especially since they could have used disguise spells, as mentioned earlier in clue three.
Is it because they physically can’t use other spells, or is it an unspoken rule not to meddle with a powerful artifact whose true implications they might not fully understand?
Clue seven: Without the grimoire, the I.M.P. crew is not able to access the mortal realm
And it is posed as a big deal—the whole Season 2 setup revolves around Stolas freeing Blitzø by calling off the transactional agreement and providing a grimoire replacement, the Asmodean crystal.
Official Music Video, Just Look My Way, 0:11
This seems to contradict clue three. Perhaps there are specifics we have yet to learn or understand.
Why? If simply remembering the spell is enough, they would only need the book once. If Loona can read runes, she could write the spells down when Blitzø stole it, making the entire ordeal unnecessary.
Maybe, just knowing the spell isn’t enough to use it without the book. Maybe, special education or training is needed to prepare the body for it. Or, maybe, being born into royalty is a prerequisite for channeling magic without artifacts.
Maybe, if not conclusions, let's at least make a guess?
So, here’s everything I’ve gathered on the matter.
Without additional information, it seems a bit contradictory, and I admit, I sometimes get the feeling these might be plot holes left because this isn’t the focus of the story. This would be surprising though, as the show is usually very detailed and well-built in terms of worldbuilding.
I’m going to try to fill in these gaps with my speculations, just for fun. Please don’t consider this as making any claims; it’s more about me engaging in some mental gymnastics because I’m a lore geek and love figuring out how the fictional world works in media.
So, my take on whether the knowledge is gatekept or not: in short, it is.
If not so short:
I speculate (like highly speculate, because I have no proof), that any hellbeing could theoretically learn and use magic. It might require certain genetic preconditions, natural talent, and extensive training, but success is possible to varying degrees;
Artifacts assist in channeling magic for those who are untrained—like the grimoire helps the I.M.P. crew open portals;
Magic knowledge is encoded in runes to complicate the learning process for those not taught in it;
This knowledge is kept secret and shared only within royal circles, with different branches having their own secret techniques and specialties;
There are also laws prohibiting the sharing of this knowledge with lower-class demons.
Why? It’s simple—power wouldn’t be power if it could be used by just anyone. Withholding resources and granting access to it only to the wealthy is a characteristic of non-democratic regimes, and, mind you, Hell is an absolute monarchy at best.
But what do you think? Share your opinion via poll, reblogs, and comments!
Instead of my usual funny giggles at the end, I’ll reiterate from my reblog yesterday:
FREE AND ACCESSIBLE EDUCATION FOR ALL
Because only by sharing knowledge and making it public can the community truly prosper.
#UNITE AND FIGHT#TO MAKE A BETTER LIFE#EVERYBODY ONE FOR ALL#SOUND OFF THIS IS THE CALL#TONIGHT WE RISE#I hope I didn't miss anything#hell it was supposed to be a little silly poll post#welp why am I surprised#I am not capable of being concise#helluva boss#akira's whimpery metas#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss meta#stolas#blitzø#millie#moxxie#loona#stolitz#I don't even know which tags to use lol
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The Big Question on Blitzo
Yeah, I forgot to put this in my last post so I'll put it here. You see, everyone goes on and on and on about how Blitzo needs the grimoire to do his business and just the grimoire and Stolas holds it over his head. Now, what Stolas does is despicable but there's something else that I hardly hear anyone else mention. The most buzz about the matter to any capacity that we got was soon after Unhappy Campers aired.
I made an anonymous ask before about why Blitzo doesn't try escaping from Stolas and yeah, getting an explanation from another commenter, it made me embarrassed that I even asked. Like I asked something so incredibly obvious and I legit needed someone to spell it out. But there's still the other thing I was wondering that, as far as I know, hasn't been answered.
Why the fuck were the Asmodean crystals not a thing at the start?
I mean, yeah, Viv isn't good at writing, but that's the out-of-universe reason. In universe, though... we got nothing.
Seriously, there's so many instances where Viv and the other writers don't put in even some throwaway lines as an explanation for shit. Maybe they'll explain this but that's a very strong maybe. Because at this point, my expectations are so lowered that I know that I have to stop hoping for things that I want to see. Like how I hoped the Ozzie and Fizz mid season special would show us how those two met and got closer, only to get Daddy Issues number 5 or something.
But anyways, Unhappy Campers showed that the crystals are better than the grimoire in every single way. More portable, more abundant, doesn't require reading the spells or anything, just need a touch of the button or something, imps are apparently allowed to have them if Barbie is any indication, they even readily provide human disguises. Really, it's the whole shebang.
So really, in universe, what reason is there for Blitzo to not have a crystal from the start? Why did Blitzo think it was more worth it or at least less trouble to go out of his way to break into a demonic prince's home and steal something that said prince WILL eventually notice is missing, if only because of the Harvest Moon Festival? What reason is there for Moxxie or Millie or even Loona to not have any crystals themselves?
Maybe Blitzo lost all legal permission to use crystals and is blacklisted or something. Maybe there's a very specific and exact process to make it okay to own and use a crystal and Blitzo doesn't have the patience and/or time, not if he wants to survive NOW. Maybe there's something in the crystals that let higher-ups know that they're being used illegally so Blitzo and the others can't just mug a succubus or incubus or their crystals. Maybe Loona is too young and then too lazy to bother, especially since she's not let out into the field by her dad. Maybe Moxxie just cared about getting away from his father and took the chance to leave, having no time to really get anything from his home to make surviving and getting by easier, including any Asmodean crystals. Maybe Millie is influenced by her parents who have pride in thinking more with fists than with actual brains so it never occurred to her to get any crystals.
Then again, it's not good writing if I have to guess or speculate all the reasons why Blitzo and anyone else in I.M.P. don't have a better version of the grimoire. And this is a super fucking important question, why don't they have any crystals right from the get go?
Apparently, Viv and the other writers want to make it that Blitzo has a messy, complex affair with Stolas because the owl has something that the former is interested in and needs to secure having it. If that's what they want to do, then obviously, they can do that. Except if they're going to include something that ultimately makes the grimoire worthless in the grand scheme of things, then we NEED an explanation for why things are the way they are. And as far as I know, Viv and no one else on the writing team even said why on twitter or a youtube livestream so we don't have an answer both in the show and outside of it
Really, as long as Blitzo is still going to rob a demon prince and take something that the absence of WILL be noticed eventually, then it's only natural that he suffers for it in some shape or form. It's stupid for him to expect getting away with it, especially if he's going to, for whatever fucking reason, think that it's better to do that than to just take some damn crystals from some ordinary succubi and/or incubi. Considering how Blitzo doesn't deserve the sexual coercion and really could never have seen it coming, though, I guess I just wish the writers could have made him suffer different consequences for his poorly thought-out plan
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One of your villainos posts is getting trashed
It's just what you expect when it comes to saying anything negative about Villainous and Alan Ituriel. Although, I find it funny that it's not the first time I've said Heed and Dem are overly sexualized, especially in that drawing of the two in playboy bunny costumes, but oh no! This time I really messed up, even tho that anon brought it up and not me x3
Also, the way they're saying all "Oh Dem and Heed are underdeveloped but what about Millie????". So, like....yall admit to the characters being underdeveloped....but then use it as a "gotcha" moment? And, no, Millie isn't underdeveloped.
She has strong ties with her family, even tho her own family jokes about her freelance job and clearly has a rivalry with her Sallie May. She's very protective over Moxxie to the point where she "sees red" when he's in trouble. Heck, Millie actually seemed to have worked on that, since she used her anger in Exes and Ooohs to give her an advantage than letting it blind her. She's easily excitable and tends to be more optimistic, while Moxxie is very logical and somewhat cynical.
Millie has even spoke up on Blitzo being too into their personal lives, but she deals with it. Again, opposite of Moxxie. Millie also can easily see through other's bullshit after Harvest Moon, since she didn't care for those con artists and Seeing Stars, while also pissed at how Mox did fall for it. She even seems to have a problem with Loona, since she just calls her "hellhound" and views her as nothing more. She's very caring and loving of her coworkers when push comes to shove.
Meanwhile, what do Demencia and Heed have that isn't already obvious? Wow. Demencia is insane and loves BH. She's not intelligent any longer bc, according to Alan, her guessing the answer to Flug's equation was played for laughs. Also, Flug made her. Wow. What a shock. You really fooled me with the blueprints he has in his lab...and the fact that Alan has already said that he made her in the livestreams lol I mean, hell, Demencia doesn't even remember nor care about her past. So, why should I?
Now, Heed does have a ton more development compared to Demencia, but that isn't saying much. She still mainly is there to lift Goldheart rather than being her own thing. It's still kinda weird that she went through all that effort when all she needed to do was brainwash Goldheart. I won't say much because I do have more hope for Cecilia than anyone else in the series. She's the only one that has potential to be interesting, especially with her reports. So, here's hoping her book speaks more about her.
Also, my posts are labeled "unpopular opinion" for a reason. And let's not compare two completely different shows. Please. That's incredibly dumb.
#unpopular opinion#villainous#villanos#vilanos#helluva boss#helluva boss millie#millie#long post#tomfooleryy
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Why Can’t Imps Transform into Human Disguises?
This is a lingering question that has yet to be answered in the series. We are never given any explanation about this, all we get are vague implications that they can’t turn into humans on their own naturally like hell hounds, succubi and inccubi can. I guess due to some sort of power deficiency in terms of magic idk 🤷🏼♀️.
The show doesn’t seem to want to answer this question either despite being given a very clear opportunity to do so. In “Spring Broken”, Loona reveals that she has a human disguise that helps her blend in to help I. M. P with the whole parking space ordeal, following this Millie asks her “Do you have a human disguise?�� Loona responds “Yeah, don’t you?” The room is silent, Loona could’ve asked, “Why don’t you guys have human disguises?” And then Moxxie could’ve given her an explanation for why he, Millie and Blitz don’t have human disguises (because he’s been designated as the nerd of the group).
Like, we don’t get a moment of them (Blitz, Moxxie and Millie) even attempting to transform into human disguises. It doesn’t add up that they’re immune to Earth’s fire, able to make portals with the Grimoire but can’t transform into humans. I don’t think it’s a hierarchy thing, but it’s just not a skill in their repertoire.
I really hope that this question gets answered at some point in the show 🤞🏻🤞🏻.
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please don’t bite [wong yukhei] (m)
part of the wasn’t on pawpose collab
summary: you’d always prided yourself on being able to read people well and managing yourself as an independent hybrid in a world that was still getting over that. but when lucas, your best friend, manages to get himself turned into a wolf hybrid, it has you second-guessing everything you thought you knew about yourself, him, and the both of you, together.
pairing: wolfhybrid!lucas x bunnyhybrid!femreader
genre: friends to enemies to lovers, fluff, smut, angst, thriller if you squint
warnings: language, lucas is a bit of a dick, medical experimentation, mentions of sexual harassment, knotting, breeding kink, mating cycles, degradation (use of the word bitch to be specific), dirty talk, biting, marking, size kink, possessiveness, jealousy, mentioned doyoung x reader, momentarily dubious consent, stomach bulging, slight predator x prey dynamic between lucas and reader
song rec: troye sivan - bite ♡ wonder girls - why so lonely ♡ neon trees - everybody talks ♡ harry styles - cherry ♡ the 1975 - tonight (i wish i was your boy) ♡ sunmi - 24/7 ♡ loona (jinsoul) - singing in the rain ♡ fall out boy - hold me tight, or don’t ♡ wayv - bad alive
word count: 17.6k
a/n: this turned out a lot longer and a lot angstier than i expected. also.... dont ask where yukhei’s human ears went. i don’t know either :P
masterlist
You were going to kill Lee Taemin, if the dean of your university didn’t do it first. This was all his fault.
It all started at the beginning of the semester, when Lucas, your best friend and roommate, had told you during dinner he was helping your older friend, Taemin with an experiment for his Ph.D. You'd expected him to say he'd be handing out surveys on Main Street or trying some new diet and writing down the effects, or something along those lines.
Nope, not at all. What he really said had thrown you for a loop. “Actually, I’m gonna be trying out some hybrid hormone pills he’s been working on that have finally been cleared for human testing.”
You’d choked on the pizza you were eating. “You’re going to do what!?” You cried when you finally managed to swallow your food.
“Dude, chill,” He answered, large hands waving back and forth passively, “Taemin hyung is 99% percent sure that they’re absolutely safe. I’m just supposed to go in for testing once a week and write down any side effects I feel, which, according to him, should be at most three or four, and they’re not even that major.”
“Okay…” You’d answered, quirking your head. You were still slightly wary, your ears twitching. "And Taemin's like, completely sure they're safe to eat?"
Lucas nodded, demeanor completely casual. His calm expression did nothing to deter your concerns, mind going a mile a minute when a new thought popped into your mind.
“Yukhei, what kind of hybrid hormones are you even taking? Predator hybrids or prey hybrids?”
His smile had disappeared slightly, and his eyes left your face to stare down at his plate. Your stomach sank, and your foot started tapping in distress.
“Wong Yukhei. What kind of hormones are they gonna give you.”
“They’re, uh… alpha wolf hormones.”
Your eyes widened, and he rushed to placate you. “Y/N, bunny, calm down. I know how you feel about predator hybrids, but I wouldn’t be doing this if I thought there was something weird about this whole thing. The dean is breathing down Taemin’s neck telling him not to fuck it up. Trust me, he wouldn’t be doing this if he wasn’t absolutely certain that it was safe.”
You chewed on your lips, before sighing. “Please be careful, Xuxi. You’re my best friend. I don’t want you to hurt yourself all because Taem wants to find a way to get taller after puberty.”
Lucas had laughed, glad that the mood in your kitchen had shifted from tense to slightly less tense. He grabbed your hand, your eyes dropping to glance at it for a second, before looking him in his eyes. “If you want… He told me earlier he’d be at the lab until like, midnight. Maybe we could go pay him a visit, and he can explain everything better, you know?”
You pursed your lips, glancing at the clock. It was almost eight. After a few seconds, you huffed, and nodded, the tension finally diffusing.
“Alright, alright, let me get my jacket.”
He grinned at you, and you flashed him a smile back, automatically endeared at his goofy expression as he disappeared to gather his things. You smiled to yourself, looking down at your hands which had fallen into your lap, sighing.
Too cute. He's too cute.
The walk to the campus lab took about fifteen minutes, maybe less. Lucas, despite being taller than you, actually walked at a much more snail-like pace, and thus fell victim to your playful teasing over his slow walk.
"You're part bunny," He pointed out, eyes briefly glancing at the white rabbit ears poking out from your hair, "You have that natural spring in your step."
"Bull," You countered with a smile, turning to face him, now walking backwards, "They disproved the whole ‘rabbit hybrids run faster than humans’ theory years ago. You just suck at walking, Xuxi."
"You just suck at walking, Xuxi," Lucas grumbled, mocking your tone, but there was no malice behind it. You laughed, turning as he took a few quicker strides to catch up. His hand came up to pat the spot between your fluffy ears at the top of your head, and you hummed in satisfaction as the door of the chemistry department finally came into view.
The ride up the elevator was quiet. You were still slightly uneasy, ears twitching, something Lucas easily picked up on. He flashed you a soft smile, pulling you closer.
“Everything will be fine, bunny. I promise.”
You nodded, pressing your head against his shoulder. You took a deep breath, taking in Lucas’s distinct scent of cinnamon. “I’m sorry I blew up at you earlier… But you gotta admit, it sounds risky. And with the side effects, I thought maybe it would affect behaviot, and a lot of predator hybrids are just huge dicks, sometimes, especially around prey hybrids, you know? They’re creepy and asshole-ish and, well, you remember the snow leopard guy we met at The Burrow a few months ago, right?”
Lucas’s eyes darkened, recalling the time you had to mace a hybrid at a bar because the guy was getting handsy with you, despite the fact that you had made it incredibly clear that you weren’t interested. He nodded, staring at his feet.
“I don’t want any of Taemin’s weird science hurting you or affecting your behavior.”
He nodded, eyes sympathetic. “I totally get it. But like I said earlier, I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t trust hyung with it 100%, or if I thought that it could hurt me or you in any way. You’re my bunny, you know? I would never do anything to hurt you.”
“I know, I know, Xuxi, and I trust you… But I will cut Taemin’s legs off if you die.”
He shook his head, his amused smile growing lopsided on his features.
Finally, the elevator made a ding! and the doors slid open. The hallway was lit with industrial fluorescent lights, much brighter than the warm light of the elevator.
Lucas’s larger hand grabbed yours, leading you down the hallway.
“I don’t even remember the last time I saw Taem,” You mumbled, not really thinking about the topic, “It’s like he lives here now.”
“Yeah, I know,” Lucas replied, “Baekhyun hyung’s been begging him to just let it go for at least a night, but he’s obsessed.”
A few doors later, and you finally arrived at the one indicating it was the floor’s chemistry lab, and Lucas knocked once, twice, before a soft, muffled voice said, “Come in!”
Lucas opened the door, letting you step in first before following suit and closing the door behind him. On the other end of the lab, stood a thin, short man facing away from the both of you, typing away at a laptop. You knew it was Taemin, he smelled like Taemin, but your mind didn’t immediately register that it was him; his ashy blond hair was up in a hairnet, he was wearing a long lab coat, and there were blue latex gloves covering his hands.
“Hyung?” Lucas asked, and the typing stopped abruptly as Taemin turned, took in the sight of the both of you, before flashing a gummy smile.
“Hey! Y/N, long time, no see. And Yukhei!! Just the person I wanted to talk to.” His tone was pleasant, excited. “I wanted to talk to you about your hormone treatment.”
“That’s great, because we wanted to talk to you about it also.”
Taemin furrowed his eyebrows, giving a slight shake of his head. His eyes flicked back and forth between you and Lucas. “We?”
Your eyes widened before holding out your hands. You exchanged a brief look with Lucas, whose ears were a bright red.
“I wanted to know about the whole wolf hormone thing because… you know. Well, you know how we live together, and prey hybrids and predator hybrids don’t really get along well, you know? I mean, I know that it’s just hormones, but… should we be worried about anything? Should I be worried?”
Taemin’s mouth dropped open slightly as he registered what you said, and he shut his eyes before shaking your head.
“No, not at all! I totally understand your concerns, Y/N. We’re using several different test subjects for the human testing, all with different circumstances, but they’re our ‘demographic’ when it comes to using the treatment. A few are hard of hearing, others have suffered physical trauma in their legs or arms, some have poor eyesight. Our intention with using wolf hormones is to see if it can be used as adequate treatment for specific disabilities.”
“Lucas doesn’t have any of those things?” You said, confused. You glanced at Lucas, who was still watching Taemin, before the latter spoke again.
“He’s part of a separate group, people who have no major medical ailments or physical disabilities. We want to see what the effects could be on the statistically average human.”
You nodded, still feeling slightly uneasy despite Taemin’s otherwise chipper attitude. “So the expected changes are going to be mostly physical? No behavioral side effects?”
“A few behavioral side effects, but nothing major. Increased appetite, irritability, high energy, maybe increased libido. Nothing too major. Mostly we’re trying to see if he gets stronger, or if his hearing and eyesight improve… I understand you feel worried, Y/N, but the members of my research team and I have been working around the clock to make sure that these pills are absolutely safe for human consumption. From our research, there’s like, a 98.7% chance that nothing other than the expected side effects will show up, and those aren’t really behavioral at all.”
“Why not 100%?” You asked, eyes shifting back and forth uneasily.
Taemin grimaced, gaze sympathetic as he exchanged a look with Lucas, and then with you. “Well, nothing is ever 100% confirmed, so science doesn’t really lend itself to certainty, y’know?”
That had been two months ago.
For the first two weeks, everything seemed like it would be fine. Lucas’s only complaints about the hormone pills were that they made his hair grow a bit faster and that they were so big that they were hard to swallow. Then… things started to happen.
First, he started to eat a whole lot more. Every time you saw him between classes, he seemed to be chewing on something. You were grateful he wasn’t touching your food, because he seemed to only ever be eating meat.
“Didn’t Taemin say I’d probably get hungrier?” He asked one night, eating a ham sandwich as he sat on the couch. You were resting your head on his thigh, scrolling through Instagram while hoping that any crumbs wouldn’t fall into your hair or your ears.. You set down your phone, blinking as you tried to remember, before nodding.
“Yeah, he did. Shouldn’t you write that down?”
“Uhh… Yeah.” He stood, you sitting up, and walked towards his room, probably to do as you suggested, before he called out to you one last time. He at least had the decency to look a bit sheepish.
“Hey bunny, can you, uh, order some Chinese food?”
Then he started complaining about loud noises. However, from what you could tell, there were no loud noises at all. Your rabbit ears, from what you understood, had similar hearing to that of humans, only you were slightly more sensitive to higher frequencies. So you were incredibly confused when Lucas barged in while you were pacing in your room, going over flashcards for an exam, dark eyes glaring at you. He seemed slightly ticked off.
“Can you please stop stomping around in here? I’m trying to finish a paper.”
Your eyebrows furrowed, and you glanced down at your feet, which were covered by a pair of fuzzy socks. “Uhh, I’m not stomping?”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Y/N, I’m serious, stop yelling. This paper is due tomorrow and it’s like 15% of my final grade.”
“And I’m serious too?” Your tone was perplexed, because you weren’t yelling at all, “I was just pacing, Xuxi, like this.”
You took a few steps back and forth to show him, footsteps light, barely audible, and his face scrunched up in discomfort.
“But… it’s so loud. It’s giving me a headache.”
You made a face, before your eyebrows shot up, and your ears did as well.
“Do you think it’s because of the hormones?” You asked, lowering your voice so it was just above a whisper, “Taemin said that would probably happen, remember? Wolves have crazy hearing.”
He opened his mouth to answer, before closing it again. He flashed you a weird look, before shaking his head. “Okay...? I’ll tell hyung that it’s working… But like, can you please just sit down while you study?”
You nodded, sympathetic, and he closed the door. But a few seconds later, he reopened it. He looked a bit confused. “Is that… new perfume?”
It was your turn to make a face at him. “Huh?”
He shook his head, still looking confused. “Uh, nothing,” He mumbled, waving a dismissive hand, “Never mind. Forget I asked.”
He closed the door a final time, and you were left even more weirded out than you already were.
Somehow, he got even taller than he already was. A few days later when you were making breakfast for the both of you and you had your back turned, he came and hugged you from behind, still addled with sleep. You paid him no mind, continuing your task. One of his arms wrapped itself around your neck, almost as if he were trying to put you into a loving headlock, something he often did. In response, you did what you often did whenever he did so, which was to nuzzle your chin against his forearm.
"Good morning," He hummed, voice deep and raspy, “That smells good."
“For you,” You answered, scrunching up your nose as you turned over the bacon, “I feel like you forget sometimes that my genes make me a herbivore, Xuxi.”
Lucas stepped away, and you frowned at the loss of warmth. “Eh, sometimes. Do you want me to grab a plate?”
You set down the spatula before turning off the stove, as you turned to face him.
“You can serve yours—oh my god.”
You had lifted your head to where you usually did to look up at Lucas, and for some reason, had only been met with his neck. You craned your neck back even further, and met his eyes, which held a confused look, eyebrows furrowed, mouth agape.
“Did you get… smaller?”
“No,” You mumbled, still in disbelief, “I think you got… bigger. H-how tall exactly were you again?”
“Uh, 1.83 meters.”
You nodded, closing your mouth. “Yeah, you’re definitely more than that now.”
Lucas peered down at you, gaze slightly concerned. “This is starting to get really weird. Should I write this down?”
You frowned, looking him up and down. The shirt he’d went to bed with, an oversized white tee, now fit him better. “Yukhei, at this point, I think you should go see Taemin. Did he even mention growth spurts?”
Lucas blinked, before pushing the hair out of his still puffy, sleep ridden eyes. “Hmm, I don’t think he did. I’ll eat breakfast and then go see him.”
According to Lucas, when he’d gotten back, Taemin had been over the moon when he’d measured him and found he’d grown almost 11 centimeters in his sleep, now standing at 1.94 meters.
Everything had been somewhat tolerable. Not yet batshit insane. Lucas’s mood swings were relatively easy to handle as long as you left him alone whenever he seemed pissy, and he always apologized afterwards. He started staying up even later, but you didn’t really mind since he did his best not to be too loud.
Sure, the fact that his hair started growing faster and ended up in the shower drain when he decided to “manscape” (his words, not yours) was gross, but bearable. His random bursts of energy, making him even more eccentric than he already was, were kind of like babysitting a huge, five year old Lucas doped up on caffeine. Which, while a bit more tiring to put up with, had not yet crossed into uncanny territory.
Yet.
It all came to a head one Sunday morning, when Lucas had woken you up when he started screaming from the bathroom. You were woken from your peaceful slumber, and immediately stumbled out of bed to see what was going on, tripping on your way out the door in your panic.
“Yukhei!?” You shouted, slamming the door open. Your eyes were wide. Your heart was racing. Immediately your nose was hit with a strange odor. That put you even more on edge than you already were. Your eyes scanned the small bathroom in a haste. Your eyes fell to the corner. There, was Lucas, huddling. Knees to his chest, hands covering the top of his head, trembling and babbling incoherently, the sound muffled by the fact that his face was buried somewhere in between his knees and his chest.
“Y-Yukhei?” You repeated again, this time quieter, breathing heavily, anxiously. Was he having a panic attack? Was this a side effect of the treatment? “C-can I come closer?”
He trembled, not giving you an answer, still mumbling to himself. He seemed almost catatonic. Swallowing the lump in your throat at seeing your closest friend like this, you steeled yourself. Crouching, and slowly making your way to him, you cautiously held out an arm, and slowly, slowly, touched his hand.
He immediately flinched away, your heart dropping at his action. He sniffled, letting out a little sob, and tears sprung into your eyes. You blinked them away as best you could. He needed someone to lean on, and you couldn’t do that if you were an emotional mess.
“No, no,” He cried, voice small. “Please, stay away.”
“Yukhei,” You murmured, voice wavering, “I’m not gonna leave you like this. W-what’s wrong? Tell me Xuxi, please. You’re scaring me.”
“Y-you’ll hate me.”
You gasped quietly, resting your hand on his. “Xuxi… I could never hate you.”
“Even looking like this!?” He snapped harshly, lifting his gaze, dropping his arms, and you fell back onto your butt in shock. Your mouth fell open, eyes wide, white ears stood at full attention.
You peered into Lucas’s teary, red rimmed eyes. Only they weren’t Lucas’s eyes. Lucas’s eyes had always been a deep, rich brown, reminiscent of the earth. But these eyes were a bright, glowing amber, seeming almost radioactive in how much brighter they were than Lucas's old eye color.
Your mouth moved as you scrambled to say something, but no sound came out. Your eyes caught the attention of something twitching atop Lucas’s head, and you blinked dumbly, taking in the salt and pepper pointy ears peeking out between his caramel colored hair, before scanning his entire body and taking in the thick tail swishing back and forth behind him.
The blood in your body ran cold as you took a deep breath through the nose. Lucas’s signature scent of cinnamon was still there, but now overpowered by the strange odor from earlier. You realized with a chill that the scent was earthy, musky, a smell you were no stranger to as a hybrid. Your animal instincts automatically kicked in, whispering in your mind: predator. wolf. danger. danger. danger.
“I…” Your voice was hoarse as you pushed yourself up onto the balls of your feet, inching closer towards him slowly, despite the hairs on your neck standing straight up and telling you to run far, far away.
“Y-Yukhei, what happened?”
He shook his head, shaking like a leaf. “I don’t know,” He mumbled in a daze, and although he was staring at you with those strange yellow eyes, you got the impression from the blank look in them that he wasn’t really looking at you. “I woke up, and I c-came in here and I looked in the mirror and…”
He didn’t finish, but you got the point. You pursed your lips, before making your way towards him, but he let out a groan and you froze in your spot as he knocked his head against the wall, eyes fluttering shut.
“What is that smell?” He growled, “Why do you smell like that?”
“Like what?” You asked quietly, anticipating his answer. He shook his head, cracking his eyes open ever so slightly to peer at you. His gaze seemed to freeze you in place.
“Like… jasmine? I mean, it’s so strong…”
You stared at him, wide-eyed, unable to tell him that that was your characteristic scent as a hybrid. You were still reeling from the fact that Lucas, who up until yesterday, aside from a few obnoxious habits, had been very human, was now a hybrid just like you, with ears and a tail and…
You glanced down at his gritted teeth, taking note of the very, very sharp canines that had seemingly grown overnight.
You gulped, looking up at him. His wide eyes showed you that he was just as terrified as you were, and you swallowed back your wariness when your heart clenched at the sight. He needed help more than you needed comforting.“We need to get you to Taemin. Now.”
You had to force Lucas into his car, which was not easy in his dazed state, considering he was so much bigger than you. Towering over you, pure muscle, and basically a limp rag doll. In your panic, you’d forgotten your phone, your pants, and to give Lucas some shoes. You did the driving despite the fact that it was his car. He still seemed too frazzled to do so, so you buckled him up and started the ten minute drive to Taemin’s apartment.
On the way, you did your best to ignore the situation at hand. That just because Lucas was a predator hybrid now didn’t automatically make him like the rest of them. Lucas wasn’t like the pervy fox hybrids who would follow you for blocks when you were in high school. He wasn’t like the snow leopard you’d forced off of yourself. He was Lucas, he was Yukhei. He was your Xuxi, and you needed to repeat yourself that he wouldn’t hurt a fly.
The silence in the car was tense. You were sure that with his heightened senses, Lucas could hear everything, and you didn’t want to say anything to upset him further. He didn’t say anything to you. You didn’t say anything to him. And when you parked in front of Taemin’s apartment building, you got him out of the car, and grabbed him by the hand to walk to the door.
You were grateful it was Sunday morning. There weren’t that many people out on the street as you tapped your foot impatiently, pressing the button to buzz the comm on Taemin’s apartment incessantly. The few people that did pass were more focused on your sleep-addled bedhead and bare feet than anything else, and you thanked the universe for the fact that your oversized sleep shirt fell to your mid thighs.
“It’s eight in the morning. Literally what do you want,” A deep, groggy voice grumbled, and you rolled your eyes. Finally.
“It’s Y/N and Lucas,” You said into the speaker, pressing a hand to your forehead in frustration. “You need to see this, now.”
“Uhh, it’s Jongin,” The voice mumbled, and your eyes squeezed shut. He sounded so hungover. And whenever Jongin was hungover, that probably meant Taemin was hungover as well, and that it was generally Baekhyun’s idea.
“Wake Taem up, please, Nini,” You pleaded desperately. “It’s life or death.”
“Fine, fine, okay. Come on up.”
When you made it up to their floor, a bedraggled Jongin opened the door. He was shirtless, his hair was sticking up in random spots, his face was still puffy, and he didn’t look happy to be woken up.
He looked you up and down, eyebrows furrowing at your appearance. “I swear this had better be good,” He told you, before turning to look at Lucas, “or I’m gonna—”
Jongin cut himself off as he registered the pointy ears, the fluffy tail, and the glowing yellow eyes. His eyes widened, certainly looking more awake now. His mouth started moving, but no sound came out.
“I—uh—is this why—?”
“Get Taemin,” You snapped, ready to kill him. You were furious, to say the least, ready to barge in and kick Taemin’s ass. This was his fault, all in the name of mad science. But then you added softly, voice wavering, “I don’t know what to do.”
For someone who almost never stopped talking, Taemin had nothing to say, for once. Instead, his eyes turned wide as saucers, his eyebrows jumped up to his hairline, and you were sure that if his jaw could have dropped any lower, it would have fallen below sea level. When he finally did manage to speak, his voice was small and unsure, and he never stopped gawking at the ears on Lucas’s head.
“Uh… Y-Y/N, Jongin, could you give us a minute, please?”
So you did, letting them walk off to Taemin’s bedroom, and as Jongin sat you down on the couch to make you some tea, Baekhyun emerged from his own bedroom. Baekhyun at least looked a bit more awake than the dynamic duo, who, in their hungover state, both looked like the walking dead.
“Y/N?” He asked, seeing you on the couch. He had a small but confused smile on his face. “What are you doing here…?”
“You’re not gonna believe what Taemin did to Yukhei,” Jongin’s voice declared from the kitchen. Baekhyun furrowed his eyebrows, craning his head once, to look at Taemin’s shut door, again, to look at Jongin standing at the cupboard, and then to you, sitting on the couch with a blank stare on your face.
Baekhyun blinked. “Shit, did he kill him?”
You pursed your lips, staring at him wide eyed, eyebrows furrowed. Your look was meant to convey something along the lines of, you’ve got to be kidding me. And by the way Baekhyun grimaced at himself a few moments later, broad shoulders scrunching up, he got the message loud and clear.
“Sorry. Just trying to lighten the situation, I guess?”
“Not helping, hyung,” Jongin huffed as he made his way over to you, handing you the warm mug of tea. You accepted it with a quiet “thanks,” before blowing on the tea and taking a quick sip.
“What even happened?” Jongin’s deep voice was quiet, concerned. He sat down next to you, and Baekhyun sat down on your other side.
So you told the story from the beginning of the treatment, all the way up to when you decided to bring Lucas to Taemin. The hearing, the growth spurt, his mood swings. They listened, nodding along to the story and thankfully, not interrupting. From Baekhyun, at least, that was surprising.
When you finished, you looked at them, then at your tea, which didn't feel as hot anymore. You lifted the mug to your lips, relishing the warm chamomile taste as Baekhyun opened his mouth to speak. Still not very comforting, but at least you were filling your stomach with something.
"Wow…" He mumbled, still in slight disbelief. "So, Yukhei's a hybrid now?"
“I guess. I don’t know.” Your voice sounded empty.
Jongin sighed, gaze pensive. “What’s gonna happen between the two of you, though? You live together. You of all people know that prey hybrids and predator hybrids, living together in tiny spaces don’t really mix well.”
You frowned, settling the mug down on their coffee table. “It’s not like he’s gonna become one of those asshole-y hybrids overnight, y’know?” “Didn’t you say he snapped at you this morning?” Baekhyun asked, tilting his head. “You said he was having mood swings, too.”
You shook your head, fluffy ears flattening against it as the stress seemed to accumulate in your body. “It wasn’t like that. I think he was just freaked out. And as for his mood swings… I don’t know.”
An awkward silence filled the room, and you gazed at your hands on your lap.
“Uh, Y/N…” Jongin mumbled, tips of his ears a bright red, “A-are you wearing pants?”
“Oh,” You answered dumbly, feeling your face heat up, “Um… No? I kind of panicked and, uh, forgot to put some on.”
Jongin stood, holding out a hand. “Come on, you can borrow one of mine. You must be cold, right?”
You nodded, glancing at Baekhyun, who had a sympathetic smile on his face. You looked back to Jongin, and took his hand to stand up. He pulled you toward his room, trying to make you smile by telling you about his drunken escapades with Baekhyun and Taemin during karaoke.
“Baekhyun almost got us kicked out while he was singing some Mamamoo song,” He said with a laugh, “You know how loud he gets.”
You smiled, giggling quietly as he opened a drawer, searching for something you could wear. After a few moments of fumbling around, he pulled out a pair of gray sweatpants, and shuffled towards you.
“So,” You said, reaching for the fabric, “I’m guessing you and Taemin did your usual rendition of Fergali—”
The sound of a door opening across the hall interrupted you, one ear lifting as you turned your head. Taemin emerged, Lucas trailing behind him. Taemin had changed out of his pajamas and was now wearing some jeans and a t-shirt. Your eyes immediately met Lucas’s, but a second after, his eyes fell to Jongin, then the pair of pants you were reaching out for, then back to you. His gaze was hollow, unreadable, but his eyes still shone bright amber. Jongin tucked the fabric into your hands, and took a step away from you. He cleared his throat awkwardly.
“Hey, man, how are you doing?”
“Not really good, if I’m honest,” Lucas answered, practically glaring at the older man. You frowned at his tone. He was rarely this quiet.
“I did a quick check-up,” Taemin declared, “I don’t see any immediate risk, he seems to be safe for now.”
Your shoulders sagged, as you sighed in relief, tension leaving your body.
“But I’m still taking him to the lab,” Taemin said, eyes serious. “We never foresaw these... mutations. I need to run some tests and contact the team and the other test subjects. Y/N, you can stay here if you want, I don’t think Jongin and Baek hyung would mind—”
“Head home, Y/N,” Lucas interjected, deep voice serious and clipped. He kept shifting his eyes in between you and Jongin. “I woke you up, you should go get some more sleep.”
The deep authority in his voice startled you. A small thought crossed your mind, submit, obey, and you realized that these were your rabbit instincts kicking in as it registered a predator in your midst. And that only happened when predator hybrids used a specific tone of speech, one used only to take command over a situation with other hybrids. It was a bit hard to disobey, but not impossible. With a chill, you realized he was probably doing this subconsciously.
This wasn’t how things were supposed to work, not with Lucas. Yes, Lucas had become this thing that you’d been told to fear, but it wasn’t necessarily him. You blinked, looking at Jongin, then at Taemin. You realized that Taemin and Jongin were staring at each other awkwardly, before looking at Lucas again. Despite your sleepy state, you knew your anxiety wouldn’t let you rest. And to be frank, you didn’t want to be alone after what had happened. “I could wait for you here, Xuxi, and then we could head back home together—”
“I can drop him off at your place!” Taemin said, an awkward smile plastered on his face. “It’s no problem, you should head on home…” You furrowed your eyebrows, before nodding slowly at having your actions countered.
“Huh,” You answered slowly, remembering all of the times Taemin had gotten pissy about giving you and Lucas a ride home (gas money, he complained), even though his apartment wasn’t that far from yours, “Okay…? I’ll head home in a little bit. You guys be careful.”
Lucas nodded, face not changing. He was upset, you could tell, but he was completely justified, given everything that he’d been through. You didn’t appreciate him taking it out on everyone around him, though.
“Yukhei, let’s go.” Taemin seemed all too eager to drag Lucas away, and you watched, bewildered at the strange shift in energy between the three men. You’d known Jongin and Taemin since your freshman year of college, and Lucas since junior year of high school. Never had you seen the three of them act like this.
You turned to Jongin once you heard the front door close. He was shifting back and forth awkwardly. “That was… weird.”
“Well,” He said, scratching at the back of his neck, “This whole morning has been a bit weird, don’t you think?”
You gave a sardonic smile, trying to figure out how to explain your thoughts. “I mean, yeah, but… I don’t know. Regardless of that, everything just seemed off between the three of you.”
Jongin’s eyes met yours. He looked a bit taken aback.
“You can’t be serious.”
You shook your head. “What?”
Jongin’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh my god,” He muttered, more to himself, “You really don’t know.”
“Jongin, what?”
“Yukhei likes you,” Jongin confessed, rubbing at his chin, “He has for years.”
Your ears shoot straight up, eyes widening. Immediately your face heated up, and your free hand shot upwards, waving them back and forth.
"What? Huh? No. No, no, no. We’re just—"
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” He countered, “You’re friends. But he wants to be more. He’s told me so, several times.”
When you didn’t answer, he walked around you to sit on his bed. He sighed, looking upwards as he gathered his thoughts, trying to figure out what to say.
“Y/N, you’re smart. And you’re an independent person, and you value that because of how some people still treat hybrids. Especially prey hybrids. I know that. You know that. Yukhei knows that. But…” He sighed again, shaking his head.
“You don’t see the way he looks at you when you’re not looking. He… he looks at you like you’re the only person in the world, or like you invented pizza, or something. And right now, his behavior…”
He groaned in exasperation, and you raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“I don’t know how to put it other way than territorial,” He grumbled with a frown, “The way he was acting was like that look, but more aimed at me. Like, she’s the only one I see, don’t look at her the way I do. And I’m no expert on hybrid behavior, but…”
You didn’t know what to think, but you completed his thought anyway.
“...You think Lucas was acting possessive.”
“I don’t think, I know,” He said, “He seemed really standoffish, and you should be careful. Not because he’s dangerous—this is Yukhei we’re talking about—but because it might strain your friendship.”
You remained silent for a few seconds, absorbing everything he’d told you.
You didn’t want to believe him.
You went home not much later, trying to process everything you’d seen and heard that morning in the silence of the car as you drove through traffic, still pantsless. You didn’t feel comfortable accepting Jongin’s pants after everything he’d pointed out in Lucas’s behavior.
Lucas, your mind continued to think, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas.
You’d known Lucas for so long at this point, he’d always just been your best friend. You’d never really wanted anything else from him.
You knew people had been expecting the two of you to get together for years. Your friends had told you, your family had told you, and now, his friends had told you that there was something going on between you and him. And every time, you’d been adamant to deny it. No, he’s like my brother. No, he’s my best friend. No, I don’t see him that way. No, he’s seeing someone. No, I don’t have time for a relationship, anyway.
Lucas was attractive, you knew that. You had eyes. You had ears. Regardless of his looks, he was effortlessly charming and funny, and that would make anyone attractive. You saw how people swooned and fawned over him, despite him rarely being interested. But he’d always just been your best friend, the one who supported you through everything and made you laugh on your darkest days. And from living with him for the past few years, you considered it a bit awkward to be attracted to someone after seeing them scratch their ass as nonchalantly as possible in front of you as he had.
That was until this morning, when he’d spoken using that tone of voice. You still weren’t sure how to feel about that. It gave you the chills, but... not in the way you’d expected. Something instinctual had begged you to submit to him. That didn’t usually happen to you when you heard other hybrids used that tone. Usually, you would feel a small tug in your gut, maybe a small flutter of anxiousness, but most of the time all it achieved was a roll of your eyes. But not with him. Not with Lucas.
You thought about it the entire way home. You thought about it on the way up to your apartment. You thought about it as you crawled into your bed, closed your eyes, and finally allowed your mind to be at peace once more. You slept until noon, then made yourself some lunch, showered, and worked on a few assignments you had for your classes.
Lucas came home several hours later, just before 7 PM. He no longer seemed as tense as this morning, but tired, instead. You didn’t blame him. His eyes had faded back to their warm, welcoming shade of brown, which didn’t surprise you. Wolf hybrids’ eyes tended to glow like that whenever they were on edge about something.
“How are you doing?” You asked, as he sat down on the couch. “Is everything alright?”
Slowly, you sat down next to him, wondering if he’d still be snappy as he had this morning. His neck turned to look down at you, and with a deep sigh, he nodded.
“Medically, I’m sound. They still need to run a few tests, to see if this is something permanent, or not. I’ve been ordered to stop taking the pills, for now.”
You nodded, giving him a small smile out of relief.
“Thank god,” You murmured, “I was worried about that. But how are you doing?”
He swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing as he did so. He shrugged, pursing his lips. His body shifted towards you, and before you knew it, he’d tackled you into a hug, burying his face into your neck. He seemed to be holding back tears again, and your eyes fluttered shut as he spoke again. “Honestly? I don’t know,” He said, voice small and muffled against your skin, “Things like this are so… different. I found out several things have changed basically overnight.”
“Like what?” Your arms came to wrap around him, trying to calm him down.
“Fuck, I don’t even know. Like, I can smell so much more, now. I can see in the dark, apparently? I can hear so much, Y/N. I’ve been poked and prodded all day and no one knows if this is gonna go away and I’m just… I’m scared.”
He shook his head, shifting to bury his head again, but this time into the other side of your neck. Your hand began to comb through his hair, trying to avoid touching the furry ears that now resided atop his head.
You shook your head, humming. You rested your chin against his shoulder, nuzzling into his form, and his large hands rose to your waist, arms wrapping around it. You looked down when you saw vague movement from below your gaze, and smiled to yourself when you saw Yukhei's tale wagging with contentment.
“Everything will work out fine, Yukhei,” You whispered, “What matters now is that you’re safe, you’re healthy. You’re so strong, Xuxi. Whatever life throws at you, even if it knocks you down, you always get up with that big smile of yours and keep going.”
He nodded against your neck, cuddling even closer to you. “Thank you,” He answered, before pulling his head away. His eyebrows were furrowed, dark eyes peering into yours from above you.
“This morning,” He mumbled, “When you were in Jongin hyung’s room. I said something. And I don’t know what it was but it felt…”
You forced your face to remain blank and expressionless, and broke eye contact, trying to gather your words. God, you didn’t know what to tell him. “Oh… Yeah. That’s sort of a, uh, special tone more dominant predator hybrids use. I don’t really know how to explain it. I’m sure there’s some scientific term, but uh… yeah.”
“Oh.” He pulled away from you slowly, resting against the couch. You nodded awkwardly.
“I don’t hate you,” You said suddenly. “This morning, in the bathroom, you didn’t want to let me look at you because you thought I’d hate you… I don’t. I could never.”
He smiled, but didn’t meet your eyes. “We don’t have to make this awkward, do we? I don’t feel any different just because of… this. You’re still my best friend, Y/N.”
You nodded, smiling. “Why should it be awkward? I don't think this will change anything, Xuxi.”
Finally, he looked at you, and your eyes found his. His smile grew, and yours did as well.
“I’m gonna go to bed,” He said moments later, as his hand rose to rub at his neck, “I’m insanely tired.”
“Good night, Xuxi,” You told him as he stood.
“Good night, bunny.”
When he walked into his room without another word, you watched as he did so, closing the door to his room, right across the hall from yours. You rubbed at a kink in your neck, inhaling deeply as you did so.
A few moments later, you stopped, eyebrows furrowing. You frowned, ears perking up ever so slightly as something gained your attention. You sniffled once, twice, three times.
Usually, you couldn’t perceive your own hybrid scent unless you consciously thought of it, kind of like when a person thinks of breathing and starts doing it manually rather than automatically. But now, you couldn’t do it.
Instead, only the scent that you’d registered this morning as Lucas’s remained in its place. Your breath hitched as you realized that Lucas, in hugging you and burying his face in your neck, had scented you.
There’s no way he did that on purpose… right?
Did Lucas even know about scenting? Was he even aware that it was a courting gesture between hybrids, and a way to tell other hybrids to back off?
Your mind drifted back to what Jongin had said this morning, and you sighed as you once again contemplated the situation. Within a day, both your life and Lucas’s had made a turn for the stranger, and no one knew whether this would be permanent or not.
Shaking your head to yourself, you stood, making your way to your room. This is only awkward if I make it awkward. Lucas doesn’t know hybrid behavior very well because up until this morning, he wasn’t one. Y/N L/N, you’re not going to make this awkward. This isn’t about you being ‘uncomfortable’, this is about Lucas’s wellbeing. You’re not going to make this awkward, you’re not going to make this awkward!
When you reached your door, you took one last glance at Lucas’s door, deciding that you would do your best to help him, for his sake.
It couldn’t get that awkward, right? Especially not if you tried your best to make it as such. The both of you could continue living as if nothing had changed, right?
Wrong.
The next few days, it was almost as if the conversation you’d had that night had never happened, but not for your lack of trying. The next morning when you emerged from your bedroom, you found that Lucas was already gone, probably off to class. You shrugged it off, but still found it kind of strange.
When you got home from your classes and studying at the library, he was in the kitchen, eating a sandwich, and you greeted him, and he answered with a vague “hello”, not really paying you much attention. You thought it was strange, but chalked it up to him probably being tired.
Then it happened the next day, and the day after that, and the next day, and the next, and the next. And almost overnight, you had no idea who this person who had replaced your best friend was. You felt hurt, trying your best to speak to him when you returned to your apartment. He wouldn’t budge, and you’d back off before you pissed him off too much.
He didn’t look at you the same way he once did. It was like all of the warmth and happiness from his eyes had been sucked out of them, leaving a winter that rivaled the north pole. You couldn’t recall the last time he’d laughed around you.
You missed Lucas. You really did, and the worst thing was that you couldn’t tell if he felt the same thing. You didn’t want to confront him, telling yourself he was going through a tough time. You could tell it frustrated him, having this new tail twitch and to knock something over, the augmented senses distorting and amplifying everything around him.
He confessed about three weeks, in a clipped tone, that Taemin couldn’t be sure if it was permanent or not. Nothing like this had ever happened to anyone before. There was no way test designed for this situation, and Taemin would have to design a safe way to test it. Which meant time, money, and patience. Two of which, those being money and patience, Lucas had never had much of.
“Oh, Xuxi,” You’d sighed when he told him, “I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t have to be.” He set down the textbook he’d been holding onto the table. “You didn’t do it.”
You stepped forward, and he stepped back, almost immediately as you had. You frowned. “Please don’t do that,” You mumbled, now kind of angry.
“Do what,” He sighed, as if the conversation was exhausting.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know.” You were glaring at him now. “You’ve been avoiding me like the goddamn plague.”
“And what if I am?” He asked, turning to face you. The ears on his head twitched restlessly, and his eyes were burning with what seemed to be contempt. “What if I can’t stand to be around you anymore?”
Your eyes widened, taken aback. After weeks of him not giving you the time of day, for him to say that was too much for you to take sitting down. You scoffed angrily, tapping your foot anxiously. “Excuse me? Where is this coming from?”
He stood up straight, and somewhere in your mind, a little alarm went off in your head at the sheer size of him. He always slouched, just a little. To see him like this, especially now that he’d grown so much, was jarring.
“You heard me,” He said in a tone you could only describe as threatening, taking a step towards you, and this time, you took a step back. “I can't stand being around you anymore. I can’t stand your face, or your voice, or your scent, or your voice. You get on my nerves, and sometimes I swear, I just wanna...”
He didn’t finish.
You shook your head, laughing humorlessly, despite the fact that your heart was cracking with every passing second. You didn’t know this person. Sadness and anger swirled in your chest, creating a mixture that made you grit your teeth.
You weren’t backing down from this, not after giving him space to himself only to turn around and tell you this. You took a step forward, crossing your arms. “Um, why? What did I ever do or say?”
He didn’t answer, fully scowling now. His eyes studied your face, but after a few moments, it dropped lower. You realized almost immediately he was looking at your neck. You swallowed nervously, forcing yourself to not look away when he met your eyes again.
Still, no answer, and you groaned, causing him to snap out of his strange reverie. “Fine. Don’t fucking tell me. See if I care, Yukhei.”
You stepped away from him one last time, walking towards your room.
“I don’t owe you a fucking explanation, you know! I don’t owe you shit!” He yelled, and you jumped at his sudden burst of anger. You turned, incredulous. Even he seemed to be shocked by the volume of his voice, wolf ears pressed against his head, like a puppy who’d just gotten chastised.
“And I don’t need you yelling at me! Just because you hate me doesn’t give you the right to treat me like shit!” You answered desperately, just as loud. You hated the way that your voice cracked towards the end of your tirade, eyes welling with tears and throat closing up. You blinked the tears back furiously, taking one final look at the increasingly sad look on his face before slamming your bedroom door behind you.
Finally alone, you took a few deep breaths, trying to think over what had just happened.
You’d known Yukhei for years. Never once had he raised his voice at you or anyone else. And here he’d just exploded at you, telling you that he couldn’t stand you or the things that made you, well, you.
You sat on your bed, body numb, as the tears began to flow freely. But you couldn’t bring yourself to make noise. You couldn’t bring yourself to curl up sob into your pillow . You knew that he would most likely be able to hear you if you did, and you didn’t want to give him that satisfaction.
Instead, you laid back, trying your hardest to control your breathing, and fell asleep like that, with the tears falling into your hair, eyeliner and mascara streaking along your skin, feeling utterly destroyed.
After that, you felt yourself giving him an even wider berth than before. You didn’t speak to him unless you absolutely needed to, like when you couldn’t reach the sugar that had suspiciously ended up on the highest shelf, (even though you were the only one to use it) and needed him to hand it to you.
If you walked into the living room and he also happened to be in there, you two would meet eyes briefly, before you walked away. His gaze was never cold, but rather emotionless. Indifferent, bordering on unreadable. It still hurt to see. The only thing that could describe the mood of the apartment was tense. You quickly learned to hate living in such a suffocating environment.
The only "good" thing was that finals were right around the corner, so you were able to distract yourself from the whole situation and pour all of your concentration into studying into the wee hours of the morning.
But that only lasted for so long.
Taemin had mentioned a heightened libido as a side effect of the treatment. As far as you could tell, Yukhei didn't give off any signs of that. It didn’t even make sense, considering he’d stopped taking the pills ever since the mutation had occurred.
However, for some reason, the universe decided that it wanted to cause you trouble on purpose.
You came home one day to strange noises coming from Yukhei's bedroom. And when you got closer, it didn't take much for you to realize what was going on between him and whoever he'd brought home. Deep groans, high pitched moaning, and the undeniable sound of skin slapping against skin. Even worse, the smell. It smelled like sex, and sweat, and Yukhei.
Maybe if you'd been human, you wouldn't have smelled it. But alas, you weren't, and so your heightened sense of smell painted a picture you didn't want to see. Of Yukhei and some stranger, him on top of her, fucking brutally into her.
"Yes, fuck, right there!"
You damn near jumped out of your skin, then immediately cringing because… well. How could you describe the nasty feeling building suddenly in the pit of your stomach? It wasn't disgust. It wasn't… no. It couldn't be jealousy. Could it have been a mix of the two?
You couldn't be sure.
And that was only the first time it'd happened. Soon enough, it was happening two or three times a week.
You suddenly started spending more time away from the apartment. Be it at the library, at the café right off campus, at your best friend Mark's apartment.
But at night, you were on your own, having to listen to Yukhei plow a seemingly endless array of girls into his mattress while you were either studying or trying to sleep.
Your girlfriends still lived at the college dorms, and there wouldn't be enough space for you there. You didn't want to impose on Mark, since you were already spending most of your day with him and he shared his apartment with four other guys. You certainly didn't want to ask to sleep over at Taemin's, not after what Jongin had told you.
You were more or less trapped in your apartment past nine PM. You wondered if this was how Fiona felt in the first Shrek film when she couldn't go outside at night.
Yukhei was loud, you came to learn. He groaned, he grunted, he growled. He had a filthy vocabulary and, if you were to go by what the girl he'd brought home past Thursday said, leaving out all the gory details, he was very… well endowed.
You still weren't quite sure how to feel about constantly having to hear him from across the hall. You weren't judging him, not at all. It was none of your business, and as he'd so rudely put it, he didn't owe you an explanation.
But with exams rolling around, and stress starting to build up, you were disappointed, but not surprised to realize that your sexual frustration was doing the same. And Yukhei, with his pretty face, broad shoulders, foul mouth and maddening scent, was not doing you any favors by practically acting out porn across the hallway.
Even worse? Mating season was approaching.
The actual duration of heats and ruts for all hybrids varied, but a grand majority of hybrids went through them during the first few weeks of winter, regardless of whether they were predators or prey.
So while it pained you to say it, Yukhei’s across the hall antics were not doing you any favors. You found yourself lying awake on a Saturday at one in the morning, after a particularly rough Friday. Meanwhile he was with yet another girl, listening to him dirty talk her to high heaven. You had your eyes closed, trying to sleep in the dark of your bedroom, but it wasn’t easy given what was going on.
If you hadn’t been in a sleep deprived delirium, you wouldn’t have allowed your mind to drift to Yukhei, or to focus on the vulgar words he was saying. His words were muffled by the walls, but it was still pretty easy for you to hear them, ears perking up as you did.
“Yeah, baby, you love my cock, don’t you?”
If you hadn’t been so tired, you would have put in some headphones and listened to some soft music until you were able to fall asleep, instead of letting your breath hitch while your sleepy mind conjured an image of a sweaty Yukhei on top of you, doing to you what he’d been doing to the entire campus.
“So fucking tight around me…”
And you definitely wouldn’t have stuck your hand down your pants, with one hand, covering your mouth with the other. But you did, imagining that it was Yukhei’s fingers and not yours pinching at your clit, teasing around your slit, feeling yourself get wet with every passing second. Hard to do, considering Yukhei’s fingers were so much longer than yours were, and you clenched around nothing at the thought of his pretty hands and how deep they could reach inside of you.
You opened your legs a little more, eyes fluttering shut as your index finger delved inside of you, stifling a quiet moan. Even in your sleepy haze your mind told you not to be too loud, because you knew that Yukhei could end up hearing it, and you didn’t want to seem like a creep after everything that had already happened. Slowly, you built up to a speed that you felt went well with the sound of skin against skin.
“Fuck, baby, you gonna come soon? I’m so close...”
Your breathing turned heavy, and suddenly the sheets were too hot, kicking them off of you before adding in a second finger, relishing in the stretch and the way your palm rubbed against your clit in a deliciously frustrating way. You hesitated briefly before adding a third finger, searching desperately for a spot that would cause you to see stars before they cramped up too bad.
When you did manage to find it, your body curled in on itself, biting down on your lip to stop yourself from making any noise. So embarrassingly fast, you felt yourself nearing climax, listening as the moans and groans escalated in pitch and in volume. You pulled your other hand away from your mouth to rub at your clit, and your eyebrows furrowed, mouth tipping open in silent moans. You prayed to whatever cosmic force that ruled over the universe in hopes that you wouldn’t make too much noise.
“Shit, shit, I’m c-coming, baby…” You heard him say, before switching to Cantonese to swear, and with that, your orgasm came crashing against you.
Your toes curled, your eyes squeezed shut, and before you could bury your head in your pillow, you squeaked out the softest possible whine, “Yukhei…”
When you came back down, you were quick to fall asleep, ignoring the stickiness in your panties or the smell of sweat permeating your room, too tired to bring yourself to care.
You didn’t hear the shuffling of feet as Yukhei kicked this girl out of the apartment, too on edge after having heard your whimpering.
After that, Yukhei didn’t bring home any other girls, and you brushed it off as him needing to concentrate for finals. The coming weeks were filled with all nighters, cups of coffee, tears and desperation as you somehow managed to pass all of your classes.
You and Yukhei continued to practically tiptoe around each other, still not speaking. Now, however, it was more due to a lack of time than anger geared towards each other. Yes, you could still sense animosity when you crossed paths but it was getting… strange. While he almost never spoke, Yukhei’s wide eyes seemed to follow you whenever you passed him.
Now, the apartment had turned silent, rather than tense. You felt like you should anticipate something but you weren’t sure what. Many times, you could feel Yukhei before you saw him, and while before, at the apartment he tended to avoid you like a criminal dodging the law, now you always felt him close, his scent never far from where you were. On campus, you didn’t have that problem, rarely seeing him due to your different majors. But at home, it seemed like you could rarely hide from him.
Finally, winter break was so close to rolling around, and all you needed to do was take two more exams, and hand in one final paper. Then you were free, and all you needed to do was call up your… friend, Doyoung.
You used the term “friend” very, very loosely.
Doyoung was the only other rabbit hybrid you trusted enough to spend your heats with, and you really only spoke to him during this time of year. He was kind and soft spoken, and attentive to your needs when you were in heat despite him also being affected by his own rut. He was also insanely good in bed, and not too bad on the eyes either.
He enjoyed your arrangement, and wasn’t looking for anything serious, which you appreciated. This would have been your third heat spent with him.
You called him a week before your heat was due to start, and he swung by your apartment for a quick visit to discuss where you would go, how long your doctor had told you it would last, and generally to just catch up with each other.
Yukhei was out, probably studying with Mark or something. All you knew was that he was out.
Doyoung was cute. Really cute. His ears, white with black tips were generally stood at attention. His broad shoulders and gummy smile were too much, and even though it was a week before your heat was supposed to start you kind of had to resist jumping his bones when you let him inside.
You managed, somehow, and he sat down next to you at your small dinner table.
“So, how’s Lucas?” He asked once all of the details were worked out. You were going to stay at his apartment for the following week.
You pursed your lips, sighing. “He’s, uh… It’s complicated.”
He shook his head, a nervous smile gracing his face.
“What do you mean it’s complicated?”
You shrugged, letting your eyes flutter shut. “It’s a long story.”
“So? Tell it,” He said, ears twitching, “I’ve got all day.”
So you did. From the treatment, to the mutation, to what Jongin had said, to the shift in his behavior, to the argument, to him bringing random girls home, even including the bit about you masturbating to him that one time. You didn’t spare the details, given that you’d probably had more sex with Doyoung within the span of both of your heats than you’d ever had with all of your previous partners combined. There was no point in being vague.
You worried you might be airing out you and Yukhei’s dirty laundry, but continued anyway. Doyoung was a good guy. He wasn’t going to blab to anyone about it. During your whole tirade, he remained emotionless, nodding along to show he was still listening to you. When you finished, he took a deep breath, ears falling against his head. He blinked a few times.
“Phew,” He whistled, “That’s… a lot. Sounds like he’s going through a tough time.”
You nodded, staring at your hands on your lap. “I know. I want to help him but I’m scared he’s gonna yell at me again and I don’t want to have to push him away even more. I miss him, Doie. I miss my best friend.”
Doyoung offered a sympathetic smile, patting you on the back. “Can I be honest?” His voice was soft, not demanding. You, always appreciative of his candor, nodded.
“I don’t think you just miss your best friend, Y/N.”
Your head snapped upward to meet his gaze, sympathetic smile still there as he continued to rub up and down your back, now slower.
“No goddamn way,” You denied vehemently, shaking your head, “I don’t like him.”
“You’re right,” Doyoung answered, “You don’t like Yukhei. You’re in love with him.”
You spluttered, looking away as you felt your face heat up. “Y-you can’t really mean that, Doyoung. He’s like—"
“Yeah, yeah, your brother. You’ve told everyone and their mother that. But has it ever occurred to you that when you say that, it's just you trying to convince yourself? I see the way you look at him when I come to pick you up before your heats and you say goodbye to him. Your eyes just light up, and you smile like you’re the happiest you’ve ever been.”
“Well, because he makes me happy, he’s my—”
“Veggie lover’s pizza makes you happy, and I don’t see you smiling at it like it invented modern wi-fi. Yukhei? Y/N, he makes you happy happy. As in, if you were an actual bunny and not 25% bunny, you would be doing binkies around him.”
You gasped. “I would not—!”
“Would too,” He retorted, laughing slightly at your antics, “I swear, the way you talk about him—"
He would have continued, but was interrupted by the sound of the key clicking the apartment door open. Quickly, both of your heads turned to watch as Yukhei entered the apartment, eyes immediately trained on Doyoung. His expression was unreadable, but at the end of the day, both you and Doyoung, prey hybrids till the bitter end, could smell the tension that permeated his signature scent. You exchanged glances with the black haired man, and noted that his ears were standing at attention, just like yours.
“Uh, hey, man,” Doyoung said with his iconic awkward smile, adding an awkward wave as well, “...Long time no see.”
Yukhei remained silent for a moment as he took off his jacket, eyes still not leaving the other man. “Hello, Doyoung hyung. How have you been?” His voice was monotone, no discernible emotion in it, and you felt like you wanted the earth to swallow you then and there.
“Uhh…” Doyoung side-eyed you for the briefest second, your eyes flashing between him and Yukhei incessantly. Suddenly, you were on edge, and you knew that it was all because of the six foot tall nuisance that had just interrupted your moment with Doyoung.
“I’m... good. I was actually just about to, uh, head home,” He mumbled, and you furrowed your eyebrows as you turned to look at him, kind of taken aback. He was already getting off the couch, making sure he had everything.
You raised a tentative hand. “Hey, Doyoung—”
“Like I told you earlier, I need to go, uh… feed Jeno’s cat since he’s still out of town.”
“Uh,” You blinked, gaping like a fish, remembering the fact that you’d bumped into Jeno at the convenience store earlier today, “Take care, I guess?”
And then, quickly as Yukhei had come, Doyoung had gone, eyeing the wolf hybrid like he was about to get strangled.
When it was just the two of you, your eyes turned to look at Yukhei, and you huffed, before getting up and walking to your room. You closed your door, picking up your phone as you sat at your desk.
doyoungie: your roommate is insane
doyoungie: did you see the way he was looking at me? his scent was also super intimidating, y/n
doyoungie: i cant help you out, i dont feel comfortable given everything going on between the two of u
doyoungie: im really sorry y/n
doyoungie: please be careful around him
You saw red. You chucked the phone onto your bed, too angry and upset to answer Doyoung in that moment.
Everything going on between you and Yukhei had ruined everything these past months, but this was the icing on the cake. If Doyoung wouldn’t help you, you couldn’t go over to his apartment during your heat. If you couldn’t spend your heat at Doyoung’s apartment, you would have to spend it in the apartment, with Yukhei across the hall. And if Yukhei, a predator hybrid, turned out to go into rut at the same time you, a prey hybrid, went into heat… well.
It wasn’t even a matter of whether you would end up sleeping with him at one point or not. It was the principle of the thing. Yukhei brought home several girls to fuck and you had turned a blind eye. But god forbid you make plans to fuck someone in your own home. No, no, that was heresy. Highest treason in the land.
You slammed your door open, crossing the hall to stomp into Yukhei’s room. You ripped his door open, seething with anger. He turned in surprise, eyebrows furrowed. “Y/N, what—”
“Fuck you, Wong Yukhei,” You spat, getting straight to the point. He opened his mouth to speak, eyebrows turned downwards as he observed your angry frame. But you didn’t let him.
“How fucking dare you. I said jack shit when you brought home all of those girls. But no, every single time I get close to another guy you put on a pissy face and puff out your chest and scare them away. What gives you the fucking right?”
He scoffed, then gave a humorless laugh. “It’s not my fault your prey hybrid boy toy can’t handle being looked at for more than five seconds.”
Your mouth fell open, glaring at him. You couldn’t believe the way he’d said the words ‘prey hybrid’ like it was something shameful. “What, do you have a problem with us prey hybrids now, or...?”
“Please,” He growled, “You’re always the one who was so willing to push predator hybrids away.”
“You of all people should know why.”
He took a step towards you, eyes meeting yours before looking at the floor. “Of course I did. And that’s why I pushed you away.”
You stared at him, incredulous at his sudden quietness. “No. Don’t you dare spin this as some little ‘woe is me’ sob story. You ghosted me. You treated me like I was trash. Maybe you didn’t want to worry me with this whole thing, which is more on par with the Lucas I know. But my Lucas, my Xuxi, would never have taken it that far.”
“Did it ever occur to you that your stupid little Xuxi isn’t coming back!?” He yelled suddenly, and your eyes widened at his display of anger. He took notice and took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, and lowered his voice.
Y/N, this entire thing,” He huffed, gesturing to his ears and tail, which was now swishing back and forth restlessly, “It changed me too much."
"Yukhei…"
"You think I didn't want to keep being your Xuxi? T-that I didn't want to pretend that everything was normal and keep patting your head and hugging you in the morning and calling you bunny?"
Your demeanor faltered, and your heart sank. This wasn't how you wanted this conversation to go.
"Yukhei."
He stepped closer, and you swallowed at his sudden proximity. "I feel this… need. Inside of me. Almost all of the time, but it's strongest when you're close to me. And I don't know what it is, but every time I look at you, I want to…"
"Yukhei," you mumbled dizzily as he took another step forward, basically forcing you up against the wall. You could feel his breath on your skin as he peered down at you, eyes melancholy. He looked lonely. You felt lonely.
"I want to… God, let me kiss you."
Your breath left your body, and before you could give it a second thought, you were tilting your head, eyes falling shut as he pressed his lips to yours.
Immediately, you stood on the tips of your toes to meet him easier, and his hands cupped your face before moving to your back, and then finally splaying possessively around your waist.
The kiss was urgent, desperate; Yukhei kissed you as if he were dying and you felt the need to match his desperation. As your lips locked against each other's, Yukhei's body stepped closer to yours, his torso now pressed against yours. Your arms rose to his broad shoulders, wrapping around his neck, releasing a whimper when he pressed his tongue into your mouth.
Your stomach lurched when he used his thigh to separate yours, hands trailing down to grasp at your thighs. He pulled away from your lips, trailing to your jaw, and you whimpered, hands combing through his hair. Lower his mouth went, planting open mouthed kisses along your neck, and you felt a fire in your stomach, readying you to submit to him.
Submit?
Your eyes shot open, and your heart dropped, and as you realized what he had said, how he had said it, you were pushing him off of you. He stumbled back, chest heaving, eyes scared, lips swollen and pink. He seemed to have realized what he’d done. “Y/N, I didn’t mean t—”
“No.” You couldn’t look him in the eye, clenching your jaw. “I came here to say that I was tired of being treated like your property when all I’ve ever been is your friend. You turned it around and used that tone with me and you used it to kiss me. I-I can’t, Yukhei. Why would you even—”
“Because I’m in love with you.”
Your eyes widened as you met his, and you slumped against the wall, inhaling sharply. You opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out. He took this as his cue to continue, eyes pleading and apologetic as he leaned against his desk, giving you the space you suddenly needed.
“That’s no excuse, I know that. It’s literally the worst possible excuse I could give you. I don’t know how to control this thing yet and I’m… Y/N, I’m scared that I’ll hurt you with my words or all of this strength I now have combined with instincts I don’t understand and it terrifies me. And now, with this whole mating season thing coming I feel them even stronger and I...”
“Yukhei, you’re not making any sense,” You said, voice barely above a whisper. He looked up, eyes suddenly teary.
“How can I make my thoughts make sense when you’re the only thing on my mind right now?”
You pursed your lips, eyes squeezing shut. Your stomach swirled and your mind was jumbled, unsure what to tell him.
“Yukhei, what are your instincts even telling you?”
He shook his head, expression agitated as he looked you up and down. Finally, his eyes landed on your neck, and he groaned, shoving his face into his hands.
“I can’t hurt you, Y/N. I would never forgive myself if I did.”
Your breath hitched, heart rate beginning to pick up. “Yukhei, I need you to tell me what is going on with you. Then, we can call Taemin and he—he’ll figure something out.”
“I need to bite you. A-and you need to leave, so I can leave before I do something I regret.”
“Yukhei, hold on a second—”
“Y/N,” He growled, and you felt all of the hairs on your head stand straight up, animal instincts going haywire, “Leave.”
Even if he hadn’t used that tone with you, you would have done so. And you did, bolting out of his room, quickly grabbing your phone from your room and then darting out of the apartment, out of the building and somewhere onto the street, legs shaking and heart broken.
You ran for several blocks, stopping once you felt comfortable, which just so happened to be in front of a cafe a few minutes from your apartment. You went in and ordered, sitting at a table in the window, staring blankly at the cup in front of you. You felt numb. Yukhei was making absolutely no sense, and your thoughts were too jumbled for you to try and decipher what he was trying to tell you. There was only one thing that you could make sense of.
Because I’m in love with you.
God, you wanted to slam your head into the table, his words echoing in your head. He’d looked so candid, so vulnerable, so scared saying those six words, that it honestly kind of petrified you. After everything you’d thought about, everything you’d been told, and everything you’d said to each other, you were being forced with the truth, and you honestly weren’t sure if you could handle it.
Yes, you loved Yukhei. But what best friend doesn’t love their best friend? There was such a difference between loving and being in love, but in that moment you couldn’t be sure of any.
Yukhei had always been there for you. He understood your boundaries, understood that you wanted to be an independent person, but wasn’t afraid to support you if he felt you needed it. Whenever you were sad, or frustrated, he was there. And vice versa. You understood that Yukhei, despite his intimidating looks, muscles and tall frame was just a gentle giant, sometimes not confrontational enough to stand up for himself. And yes, he was confident, but you knew that deep down he would always feel like he wasn’t good enough, just a little bit. And whenever that feeling became too heavy for him to carry, you’d be the one to pick him up and help him carry the weight.
Your mutual understanding of each other went so much more than just finishing each other’s sentences sometimes. With a simple movement, both of you could tell whether the other was upset, or excited, or angry.
You sighed, taking another sip of your coffee.
Yukhei was kind, and he didn’t worry about what problems he might have in the future. He was funny, sometimes making you laugh till you cried because it was just an innate talent of his. And fuck’s sake, he was hot. And you… you, the worrisome, blunt hybrid who trailed behind him because he lit up your days, you were…
Oh my god. I’m in love with Yukhei.
You spluttered, immediately coughing as you choked on your coffee, attracting the attention of the people around you. It took you awhile, but you eventually managed to catch your breath, avoiding the questioning gazes of everyone around you. You were left with your head spinning, foot tapping anxiously.
You needed to get back to the apartment.
You paid for the unfinished cup of coffee in a hassle, and ran back up the street as fast as your legs could carry you. You realized that all of the running you’d been doing meant your hair would be frizzy and you would smell like sweat once you got back, but you couldn’t care less.
All you needed was to see him.
If you’d been able to talk him down from his own thoughts before, like that day in the bathroom and times before that, if you’d been able to get through to him before, it wouldn’t be that hard now, would it? You needed to know he was okay and that he knew that everything would work out in the end.
You dashed onto your street, mind filled with only Yukhei and his wellbeing, for once being a bit reckless when it came to your own safety. Yes, he’d told you to leave. But that didn’t matter anymore, you thought as you rushed into the building and pulled yourself into the elevator. He was your only concern, now.
Your heart pounded as you stood in the elevator. Your leg never ceased its insistent tapping. Waiting, waiting, waiting for the doors to slide open. It took an eternity, but finally, you heard a ding! And when the doors opened, you bolted. You ran down the hall, reaching your door before you pulled out your key and unlocked the door, not thinking twice before swinging it open.
“Yukhei!?”
Your loud, breathless voice rang out through the apartment, but there was no response. As you caught your breath, you noted that the scent of cinnamon and earth was still there, but faint, as if Yukhei had vanished into thin air. Your heart sank.
“Yukhei?” You asked again, voice now quieter as you realized that he was probably gone. Your face fell, and part of you began to wonder why you even expected him to still be here.
Walking towards his room, where the trace of his scent was strongest, you gnawed on the inside of your cheek, silently asking yourself where you would go from here. The vibration of your phone caught your attention, and you pulled it out of your pocket to see what the notification was. Your eyes softened at seeing Yukhei’s contact name grace your screen, but your gaze quickly turned gloomy when you saw how long his text was. That was never a good thing.
xuxi: Hey. I’m sorry about everything that just happened, and for scaring you like that. I’m gonna be staying at Taemin hyung’s until your heat passes. I don’t know how long that is, but I know it was supposed to start sometime next week? I want to keep distance from you until either hyung or I can understand what’s going on with me, and I don’t want to do or say anything that’s gonna damage our friendship. Please don’t worry about me, Y/N. I’m fine. Don’t think that I think you can’t be around other guys, because I don’t. I want you to be happy. And if you feel like you never want to see me once this is all over, then I’ll totally understand. I’ve been an asshole and I treated you horribly because I was acting selfishly. Take care.
You slumped against the wall, swallowing the growing lump in your throat.
How on earth did everything get this messed up?
The last few days before winter break were miserable. You spent the rest of that night after the argument with Yukhei crying out of frustration at the situation, falling asleep with puffy eyes and a runny nose. Eventually, however, you had to force yourself out of your pity party, because despite everything going on, you still had two exams to study for and a paper to turn in.
Your paper was going to turn out mediocre, at best. You simply couldn’t put your heart into it despite the fact that it was 10% of your final grade for the semester. Thankfully, it was due Friday, and the first exam was on Monday and the other on Tuesday, leaving you a full three days to finish it, and you’d done pretty well in the subject all semester, so if you flubbed the paper, it wouldn’t be so bad.
As for your exams, they weren’t your best, but you’d live. Exams this late were always hellish for you, because on top of all of the stress, your pre-heat symptoms were starting to set in. You felt tired, sluggish, and irritable.
You thought of Yukhei almost all week during what little free time you got. You didn't see him on campus all week, but you knew from texting Taemin that he was still going. According to him, he wasn’t talking to anyone much. Not even Baekhyun could cheer him up, and Yukhei loved Baekhyun’s jokes.
You never responded to the long text Yukhei had sent you. You weren’t sure what to say, and after a certain amount of days had passed it just felt awkward to try and respond to him.
Finally, Friday rolled around, and you strolled onto campus, ready to hand in your paper, go to your last few lectures, and then buy yourself some snacks to prepare to hole up in your apartment for a week during your heat. You wished you could just turn it in online, but this professor was probably as old as the university itself, and still preferred doing things the old fashioned way.
You sat down next to Mark right before your history lecture, about two hours before your paper was supposed to be turned in.
“Hey, how have you been?” Mark asked, and you shrugged.
“I’m pretty much over everything,” You sighed, “All I need is to turn in my paper to Wang and I’m out of here.”
“Can I see?” He asked. “Mine sucks and I wanted to compare.”
“Oh, yeah, sure,” You answered, turning to open your bag. You rummaged through it, looking between your notes, laptop, and old pieces of paper, before frowning.
“No fucking way,” You muttered to yourself, looking through the contents of your bag again, now more frantic.
“What? Do you not have it?”
“No,” You answered, turning to him, sounding desperate. “I think I left it on my desk this morning. God, I’m so stupid.”
“Why don’t you just go get it?” Mark said, tilting his head. “Your place isn’t that far.”
You eyed the professor, who was preparing his presentation before the class started, weighing your options.
“...You’re right. I’ll be back in like, half an hour.”
And so you set off, power walking back to your apartment, which was right off campus. When you got to your building, you stepped into the elevator and heard your phone ring. You looked at who was calling first, furrowing your eyebrows. Hesitantly, you picked up.
“Taem? What’s up?” You asked, looking through your bag for your keys.
“Hey, Y/N.” Taemin sounded anxious, and it didn’t do anything to dissipate your confusion. “I just wanted to let you know that Yukhei said he would be passing by the apartment to get some more clothes, but uh… I forgot to ask him what time, and now he isn’t answering my texts or my calls. He was acting kind of… weird this morning. He didn’t say anything to you, did he?”
You blinked, swallowing at the idea of seeing him again after not having said anything to each other. Suddenly, your heart seemed to be beating a lot faster than it had been a second ago. “Um. No. He didn’t. But um… thanks for letting me know. I’ll just be going—”
“Wait, Y/N!”
“Taemin, what?”
“Have you ever heard of Tanaka’s Theory of Hybrid Compatibility?” He blurted, and you made a face, trying to figure out what he was talking about.
“...No?”
The elevator dinged, and you stepped out as he began to explain.
“I was doing research after running some DNA tests on Yukhei, yesterday, to see if I would be able to gauge whether he’d be going into rut or not. This theory says that two hybrids of different animal types could trigger each other’s mating instincts—”
“Wait, wait, wait, I thought that wasn’t possible—”
“That’s what a lot of people thought, until Tanaka and her team published this study about a year ago. She did an experiment where she paired up hybrids of different animal types, and induced heat in only one of them, to see if it triggered rut or heat in the other hybrid. She concluded that it was possible, but only if the hybrids had already formed a deep emotional bond. Y/N, you and Yukhei…”
You stopped right outside of your apartment, dead in your tracks. “D—Taem. Do you think that could happen if…?”
You didn’t finish, and Taemin sighed. “Yeah,” He said, voice quiet. “I think he might be in the very early stages of rut. Please, please be careful, Y/N.”
You stared at the door, before sighing. “I will, Taemin. Thank you for calling me.”
You hung up, trying to absorb everything you’d just been told. Cautiously, you inserted the key into the lock, trying to be quiet. A chill rolled through your body as you stepped into the apartment. For some reason, it seemed so much more quiet than it usually was. You gulped. Hurriedly, with quiet footsteps, you approached your bedroom. You sighed in relief upon seeing the paper on your desk, and grabbed it, stuffing it carefully into your bag before turning to exit.
“Hey.”
You shrieked in surprise, your skeleton nearly jumping out of your skin when you saw Yukhei in the doorway of his bedroom, staring intently at you. Immediately, you knew something was wrong. His eyes were wide like saucers, eyeing you up and down. His body seemed tense. His scent was overpowering. You scrunched your nose once it hit you.
“Y-Yukhei. What are you—Um, how have you been?”
“Oh, I’m fine,” He said, wide eyes never leaving you. You felt like he was studying you, and you squirmed underneath his gaze, “Just peachy. A little hot. What are you doing here?”
His sentences were quick and snippy, as if he were jumpy. You spluttered, gathering your thoughts.
“Oh,” You mumbled, “Um… I forgot my paper on my desk. I needed to come and get it.”
The entire time, you never stopped looking at him. He seemed poised, ready to strike, looking for the moment he could catch you off guard. You swallowed, trying to step past him, “I need to turn this in later, so I’ll just…”
He grabbed your wrist before you could get out of his arms’ reach, cornering you against the wall.
“I need to… talk to you,” He muttered, eyes trained on your face.
“Yukhei, you’re kind of freaking me out,” You answered, looking away from his face. Your own face was suddenly hot, animal instincts were screaming at his proximity, at his scent, begging you to either get away or pull him closer. Danger, one side of your brain whispered, while the other said, want.
“Just hear me out,” He answered, deep voice quiet and raspy. “I missed you this week. Missed my bunny.”
You looked away, unsure what to do.
dangerdangerdangerdangerdanger
He lifted a hand to lift your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. You gasped, realizing that his eyes were a bright yellow. Had they always been that color or was it only now noticeable due to his proximity?
wantwantwantwantwantwant
“Y-Yukhei,” You mumbled again, panting as he brushed his lips against yours.
DANGERDANGERDANGERDANGER
In that moment, your animal instincts took over. What happened next happened in less than ten seconds, but felt like an eternity.
See, when rabbits feel threatened, they bite their attacker. You knew this. Yukhei knew this. So it should’ve been no surprise to either of you when you shifted your neck, quickly striking and giving his neck a harsh bite. Your animal instincts expected him to back off. But instead, he groaned loudly, pressing you even further into the wall, gripping your hips and pressing himself against you. You froze, feeling something hard press against your hip.
“So you want to bite me too,” He growled, “But I want to bite you harder.”
WANTWANTWANTWANTWANT
You whimpered, as he, agonizingly slowly, pressed his mouth to your neck, baring his teeth. He tugged your head to the side, and you squeezed your eyes shut, waiting for the bite to come, almost welcoming it.
But it never did.
Instead, when you opened your eyes, you saw that Yukhei was trembling.
“I can’t,” He whispered, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
You swallowed, realizing what was going on.
“You won’t,” You answered, matching the tone of his voice. “Xuxi, wolves bite like this to mate, not to attack.”
“Huh?” His amber eyes studied your face, searching for anything other than the uncertainty etched upon it.
“You’re not biting me to hurt me,” You said, stroking his cheek, “It’s because you wanna mark me as yours.”
“But you’re not mine,” He murmured, still trembling, “You don’t love me the way I love you.”
You shook your head, head spinning as the heat on your face spread across your body at the sensation of his body against yours.
“Except I do.” Your voice was hoarse. “I love you, Lucas. I realize that now.”
You tilted your head back, revealing the expanse of your neck. He growled in approval as you did. “And I want to be yours, forever.”
He didn’t mark you then. Instead, he craned his neck to catch your lips with his. You cried out softly when he did, his hands coming down to lift one of your legs, wrapping it around his hip.
“Jump,” He said into the kiss, and you did, without question. The feeling of uneasiness, of danger, melted away, leaving you only with want. He dragged you back to his room, tossing you onto his bed with ease.
You whimpered as you let him go, now fully aware that you’d entered your heat, and you wouldn’t be satiated until he made you cum. You watched, as he stared down at you with a predatory gaze—go figure—pulling off the t-shirt he was wearing. He crawled on top of you, not saying a word before he kissed you again.
Your hands roamed, tracing down his back and up your sides as he squeezed your thighs with his large hands, sliding up the skirt you were wearing.
“Please don’t tease,” You whined between kisses, “N-need you.”
“My bunny needs me?” He asked, chest rumbling with pride, and you nodded. He tugged off your shirt, leaving you in only your bra and your skirt. He pressed a kiss to your neck, before inhaling deeply and groaning.
“God, is this what you smell like when you’re in heat?” His voice was raspy, lustful; you felt punch drunk at the sound of it. “You smell fucking divine.” You nodded, reaching for the button on his jeans. You didn’t trust your voice.
“Bunny, you’re on the pill, right?” He asked suddenly, sounding a lot more sober than he had just a few seconds ago. Your eyes darted up to his face, noting his ears twitching nervously. You nodded. “Y-yeah, why?”
He pressed a kiss to your temple, before lowering his mouth to your ear. “Because as much as I want to pump you full of my pups right now, I know you probably don’t want that for us now.”
God, he was the human definition of whiplash. You straight up moaned at the idea, eyes squeezing shut as you pulled his pants down. “S-sounds good on paper. R-really good,” You declared, “But in practice… Not right now.”
He nodded, smiling softly. You realized he was wagging his tail, and you smiled gleefully. “Anything for my bunny.”
Yukhei pressed another kiss to your temple, before pulling your skirt down, hands kneading at your newly exposed flesh. You lifted yourself off of the mattress to press wet kisses to his collarbone, ignoring the desperation beneath your skin. Still, your mind screamed.
WANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANTWANT
“Xuxi,” You said, “Please hurry and fuck me already.”
“I don’t wanna wait either,” He admitted, grinning wolfishly. With not another word, he pulled your panties to the side, and slowly pressed a finger inside.
Your breath hitched, feeling like when you scratch at an itch, but can’t find the exact spot. Content, but not yet satisfied.
“You’re so wet,” He mumbled, “All of this is for me, right, Y/N?”
You nodded insistently, legs spreading further to allow him enough space. He was so big, nearly engulfing you as he hovered over you. And his fingers were so long, reaching far further than your fingers could when you pretended yours were his.
“Lucas…” Your voice was high, breathless, “More, please.”
"So needy for me, hm?" Yukhei chuckled darkly, adding another finger. His smile grew when you tightened around him. "Tell me what you want, bunny."
"Fuck," You groaned, "I want you to fuck me and make me yours. W-want to be stuffed and filled with your cum. Want y-your pups, wanna be yours."
His amber eyes glowed in admiration, peering down at you. "Fuck, that's a good girl."
He tugged off your bra, but got a little too impatient when he got to your panties, and you gasped in surprise when you felt the seams snap. Your eyes darted to Lucas's hands, which were now holding the broken fabric with a smug look on his face.
"Oops."
You huffed, not caring about the underwear. Lifting yourself off of the mattress, you pulled him in for a kiss, and he responded with fervor. His tongue dipped into your mouth, swallowing your eager moans. In your eagerness, you reached into his underwear, wrapping your hand around his member.
You gasped into the kiss, feeling how hard he was. Even without looking, eyes still shut as you focused mostly on kissing him, you could feel he was big. You wondered, momentarily, if he would even fit. Yukhei pulled away from you, lowering his eyes to watch your hand stroking him. You did as well, swallowing at the sight. He wasn’t too thick, but he was incredibly long. The tip was a pretty shade of red, precum leaking steadily out.
“You want me to fuck you?” He asked, mouth brushing against yours, panting slightly.
You nodded, canting your hips in an attempt to entice him. He pulled his fingers out of your pussy, brushing against your clit intentionally. You keened, looking up at him.
“Yeah, baby,” You answered, pushing him away slightly, to turn around, and prop yourself onto your knees. He groaned at the sight of your wetness, one finger teasing at your hole. He came closer to you, and his free hand pulled you up. His chest was pressed against your back. He pressed a kiss to one of your shoulder blades, resting his head on his shoulder to speak to you.
“One day, I’m gonna sit you down on my face and eat you until you forget your name. But right now, I can’t hold back anymore. Need to be inside of you.”
You nodded in agreement, bated as he gripped one of your hips, the other nudging you gently between the shoulder blades, so your face was buried between the pillows. You inhaled, whining lightly at how much it smelled like him, like Yukhei.
“All mine,” He growled, sliding inside of you. He was met with no resistance, your walls sucking him in with no protest.
“Yours,” You agreed, rocking your hips lightly against his. He groaned loudly, gripping your hips tightly.
“S-so tight,” He groaned, with a little laugh, “I can barely move.”
“Please, Xuxi,” You whined, voice muffled, “N-need it.”
His grip tightened, and he gave a hard thrust, to which you responded with a loud noise. He immediately set a brutal pace. He bent over, practically covering your body with his own. You could feel the heat radiating off of his body, his grunts and growls right into your ear.
Your hand reached behind you, trying to grab him in some way. He registered what you were trying to do, and reached out to take your hand in his. “Who’s making you feel this good, bunny?”
“Ah, you, Lucas,” You cried, and Yukhei pressed a kiss to the junction of your shoulder and neck.
“You think Doyoung could fuck you this good, baby?”
Your stomach curled at his words, and you shook your head. “N-no,” You said, hips bucking back to meet his. “Don’t want him, want you.”
“F-fuck, that’s my girl, you just wanna be mine, huh?”
You nodded, unable to answer at the pleasure coursing through your veins. Yukhei wasn’t satisfied by this, evident in the way he tugged on your hair and pulled your head up. You shrieked not only at the pleasure, but also how unexpected it was. Yukhei was always one to be gentle, but now, with the need he felt to fuck you until you were both satiated, all of his mercy went out the window.
“Use your fucking words,” Yukhei snarled, hips never letting up. You whimpered, eyes closing.
This wasn’t Yukhei, or Lucas, or Xuxi. No, this was pure, unbridled, alpha wolf taking the reins. And in this moment, you wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Y-yeah, I want you to make me yours,” You answered in a small, shaky voice.
“You wanna be my bitch, baby?”
“Fuck,” You moaned, pussy clenching at his question, “Please…”
“Please what, bunny?” The wolf asked, voice sickly sweet, and you bit your lip, trying not to cry out. “P-please make me your bitch, baby.”
He pressed a kiss to your shoulder again, letting go of your hair. You fell back onto the mattress, practically boneless; you couldn’t find it within you to hold yourself up. His hands found their way back to your hips, using them as leverage as he pounded into you.
“What my bitch wants, my bitch gets.”
His hips sped up, something you didn’t know was possible. You were vaguely aware of his headboard ramming into the wall, but you couldn’t care less. All you could care about was the growing pleasure bubbling in the pit of your stomach, which only boiled hotter when you reached between your legs to pinch at your clit.
Yukhei groaned at the same moment you did, relishing in the way your walls clenched at the sensation.
“How the fuck are you still so tight?” He said. You craned your neck to get a good look at him, chest tightening at the sight.
His tan skin glowed with sweat, eyes rolled up into his head, mouth open as he let loose grunts and groans, and his light brown hair was matted with sweat. The dark ears on his head were twitching furiously and his cheeks were flushed. You felt like you could have cum from the sight alone.
Could have, because the awkward angle made your neck hurt, and it pained you to not be able to touch his skin or tug on his hair.
Yukhei opened his eyes immediately when you muttered out a soft, “stop, stop,” his hips stopping much to his discomfort. He sighed in relief when he realized you just wanted to change your position. You whined softly in discomfort when his cock slipped out of you, shaky legs doing their best to maneuver into the position you wanted.
You flopped down onto your back in front of him, staring up at him. “Come on,” You said breathlessly, parting your legs, “You know what I want you to do.”
He exhaled, eyes scanning your sweaty body, taking in just how beautiful you looked beneath him. “Fuck, I love you so much,” He declared, settling in between your legs, slipping back into you with ease.
You took advantage of the position, wrapping your legs around his waist, trying to pull him closer. Your hands wrapped around him, reaching for his back. You dug your nails into the skin, and he huffed slightly at the pinch of pain.
He growled with pride when his eyes darted down to where you were connected. “Fuck, that’s so hot, bunny. You’re so fucking tiny.”
Your eyes followed his, and you whined when you realized that there was a bulge sticking out of your tummy.
He immediately retook his rhythm, pounding away like there was no tomorrow, voice getting louder. It was still a bit far, but you could tell he was approaching his high, just like you. He was pressing wet kisses to your breasts, large hands groping them. Your head fell back, mind completely blank.
“X-Xuxi, I’m c-close,” You mumbled, “Please touch me.”
He nodded, lifting off of one of your nipples to meet your eyes. “Shit, me too,” He agreed, voice shaky. His lips travelled to your neck, one hand travelling to your clit. You moaned loudly, throwing your head back to reveal more of the skin of your neck.
“Gonna make you mine,” He growled, “Gonna fuck you full of my pups, show everyone who you belong to.”
His hips were losing their finesse, their rhythm, pace turning sloppy as his hand rubbed at your clit, hoping to make you cum.
“Yes, yes, yes,” You cried nonsensically, toes curling. “Make me yours, Lucas, ah, fuck, w-want it so bad!”
And then he sunk his teeth into your neck, and you tumbled over the edge, a lot harder than you ever expected it to be. You were drowning in a dizzying mix of pleasure and pain, vision blurring as your body writhed against Yukhei like a woman possessed. You cried out his name one final time, voice dying after you did.
You heard him groan against you, hips grinding against you as he released inside of you. Your mind immediately realized what was going on as his cock swelled within your walls, eyes snapping open as the sheer size of his knot caused you to cry out. Whether that was from the burn of being stretched beyond your limits, or the satisfaction of stuffed with him.
You were wordless when you managed to come down, breathing heavily, his head resting on your collar bone. The need that had been itching inside of you had gone away, for now. Your mind cleared up, and you were suddenly very aware of the fact that Yukhei was naked, on top of you, and now the two of you were stuck together for god knows how long. The few words you had exchanged prior were under the influence of his rut and, subsequently, your heat, and even before that, an argument that led to you not speaking to each other for a week.
"So…" You muttered, voice hoarse.
"Uhh…" Lucas lifted his head, tired eyes meeting yours. They were back to brown. "I take this as an 'apology accepted'?"
You rolled your eyes, swatting his arm playfully. "You're not completely out of the woods yet, asshole. You were a huge dick. But what matters now is that we're together, and I love you. We can work the rest out later."
Yukhei's hand brushed a stray hair out of your face, smiling softly at you. "I don't deserve you," He murmured, "But I promise I'll do my best to treat you like a queen."
You pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I'd like that."
You both fell asleep slightly after, whispering sweet nothings and promises of a better tomorrow into each other's ears.
And when Taemin—who had worried about Yukhei not coming back to his apartment got worried enough to use your hidden spare key to get into the apartment—woke you up, screeching at the "ungodly sight" of your naked bodies pressed against one another, you laughed, despite Yukhei's possessive instincts kicking in and covering your body with his.
Because you finally had Yukhei in your arms, and, regardless of whether he's got fluffy ears and a tail or not, you were happy to call yourself his.
#kpop scenarios#wayv smut#nct x reader#nct smut#wong yukhei x reader#kpop x reader#kpop au#kpop imagines#kpop smut#kpop angst#nct scenarios#nct angst#yukhei angst#yukhei smut#lucas wong x reader#wayv angst#wayv x reader#my writing
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Idol: Wong Kahei (Loona)
marshmallow: Since there's still no Vivi scenario 👀 how bout a fluff one where during idol room the host (d*ni and c*ni) were joking around saying that the 13th member is the ugliest and dumb and didn't have her any chance of answering when they play a guessing game. Basically treating her badly then the others. So after the show Vivi notice she's been feeling down for a couple of weeks and not really acting like how she use to so Vivi comforts her with other members🥺💜
A/n: finally my first Vivi request, done. also i hate d and c for various reasons that i cannot discuss or else i just might not write anymore
☕buy me a coffee☕
You were used to hate comments thrown your way.
You were used to fans comparing you to the other members.
You were used to people still questioning why you were added in the Loona lineup.
They’ve stopped bothering you after a while, your members making sure that you didn’t believe the things other people said and assured you that you were just as important to the group as any of them,
However, you were not used to being publicly humiliated, and on live television, no less. So when Coni had made the careless comment about how you may not even give your team a chance at winning, you that was already enough to knock your excitement down, given that you had been looking forward to spending time with your members during your visit to Idol Room.
“Y/n.” Doni had called for your attention and you look up, blinking by the suddenness as he addressed you. “What are you in charge of?” He questioned and you felt a little bit more relieved with the question. “Well, all the members are good at everything. So we just sometimes switch on who takes the lead.” You explain and he nodded his head.
“So that means you stay at the back?” He joked, the two hosts soon cracking and you smile awkwardly with all the cameras rolling whilst your members looked a little surprised by the comment. “With so many members, I feel bad that you’re always overshadowed by their beauty and talents.” Coni then added and that had caused you to press your lips together in a thin line whilst Sooyoung looked a bit offended with what he was insinuating.
But you didn’t want to cause a scene, so you went along with it and chuckled lightly. “I guess so. My members are all really pretty and talented.” You miss the way Haseul glances at you, worry in her eyes, and Hyejoo silently glaring at the two hosts.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure a bit more practice and then you can reach your members’ level. Plus, you still have a lot to learn, your Korean is still barely understandable.” That had caused you to bite the inside of your cheek, deflating as they had addressed one of your worries when you first came to Korea.
It was no secret that you were insecure about yourself, especially with your communication skills, but the way the pair had blatantly called you out for it had only boosted that insecurity.
Your members couldn’t speak up, knowing that it wasn’t a good idea to make a scene, but luckily Hyunjin had been subtle with her attack, her face blank as she watched the two hosts.
“Y/n’s pronunciations are actually really good. She works really hard just so she makes sure that it’s easy for both her and the people she talks to.” Doni nodded his head in agreement. “Diligence is one of an idol’s key traits. Have more of it.”
They weren’t expecting the rebuttal, but Heejin had visibly grown uncomfortable and Yeojin shuffled closer to you when they were starting to realize how you were becoming more and more the target of the duo’s harshness.
Chaewon’s brows raised at the audacity they had to publicly shame you, but held her mouth shut when Jinsoul placed a hand on the small of her back.
They tolerated the rest of the show for the sake of the group’s image, but every comment thrown your way made them all increasingly upset, though you’re good with keeping up a façade just to keep the peace within the room for your members.
The pair made you feel more and more isolated as the show progressed. And while you did your best to participate, they seemed to make it a point that they weren’t at all interested in you being there. Throughout the whole segment, you could stay on your seat and watched as your members slowly began to be immersed in the games they had prepared.
Eventually, you had stopped trying and merely smiled, opting to be the spectator the hosts expected you to be, and merely clapped and congratulated your members when they had gotten an answer right.
In the end, you were just thankful that they had forgotten about you. It was better than being degraded and being the butt of the joke.
But as you left the set that day, you couldn’t say that you had the same level of energy compared to when you had arrived.
And no one could really blame you.
Right as the episode had aired, you made it a point to stay off of social media and threw yourself into work despite not really having to do so. The girls wondered and worried with you constantly heading to the company to practice, but no one seemed to have the capability of bringing it up or calling you out, not when you looked you were just about ready to fall apart at any given second.
Kahei could only watch as the days passed, hoping that you could recover and bounce back because she hates seeing you so down. She’s used to seeing you running around the dorm, running away from Jiwoo’s affectionate assaults or trying to get Jungeun to lighten up whenever she started scolding someone.
In the end, Jungeun and Sooyoung calls for majority of their attention, both looking unpleased as the girls came into the living room, minus you, Heejin, and Jinsoul due to your schedules.
“We need to talk.” Sooyoung announces while she grabs her phone from the table. “Is this about the laundry again?” Hyejoo groans, not wanting another lecture after the last time her pillow exploded in it, but the two older girls shook their heads, and the girls could see that this was a more serious topic.
“It’s about Y/n.”
Kahei stiffens and her hands clutch at the pillow resting against her lap before Haseul placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “We know that she hasn’t been well.” Hyunjin muttered, frowning when she remembers how you’ve resorted to avoiding some of them now.
Jungeun taps on the blue bird icon before twitter popped up. She turns the device around to show the group what her and her fellow leader wanted to address.
ApologizeToY/n was under the trending topics and the sight of it made all the girls frown before they saw Orbits commenting about Coni and Doni’s clear and explicit mistreatment of you during the show and how uncomfortable you’ve been throughout it.
“This is everywhere and I doubt Y/n hasn’t seen it, either.” Chaewon sighed while slumping in her seat, arms crossed as she scuffed her slippers against the floor and Yerim pouted as she scanned through the tags.
“Can I just say how I hated how they treated her?” Hyejoo speaks up, and honestly, no one could blame her. They all felt the same thing, so it wasn’t something they could hold against her.
Kahei pulls her pillow close to her chest, her mind replaying the hesitant look on your face whenever you were all together. You didn’t have to tell her, but she could see the insecurity in your eyes every time she would see you looking at everyone.
It was as though you were silently comparing yourself to them.
“Is there something we can do?” Haseul asks, hoping for any suggestions that would help ease the situation, but no one can think of anything at that moment and Kahei looks up at the leader with her lips pressed together. “Would you mind if I talk to her first?”
The girls know that there was something that was going on between you and the eldest member. Though neither of you have confirmed anything, they knew that Kahei’s affections for you were on a far more different level compared to the way she would take care of the rest of the members.
So, without arguments, the girls agreed, whisking Jinsoul and Heejin away when the three of you arrive after a long day and Kahei thinks that it’s the best time as any, now that you were alone in your room with everyone preparing whatever it was they decided would help cheer you up.
“Y/n?”
The call of your name is enough to make you roll over on your side, spotting the older girl peeking inside your room with a small smile gracing her lips. She knows that you’re tired, but she doesn’t want to keep seeing you look so down.
“Unnie, what’s up?” You try to casually ask, sitting up in bed and indicating for her to come in, which she does without hesitation, quietly shutting the door behind her before she had walked over to your bed and took the space you made for her to sit next to you.
Her embrace is something you easily welcome, the tension leaving your body, even just for that moment when you lean against her. You let out a deep breath and she squeezes your shoulders before a kiss was placed atop your head.
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” She whispers softly and you immediately frown at the implication. Of course the girls could pick up on your withering state. They made it their personal mission to look after you ever since you arrived.
“I know you won’t say anything first, so I’ll be the one to do it.” Kahei cuts you off from thinking further as she speaks. “What they told you back at the Idol Room, it’s not true, okay?”
She shifts so that she’s looking at your face, one hand cupping your jaw so that you can’t look at anything but her because she needs you to listen to her instead of your thoughts.
“You’re an amazing singer, Y/n. Frankly, you’re perfectly fine the way you are and I hate how you’re letting these two people who know nothing about you make you feel like you’re not worth being here when you are.” Her voice is firm as she speaks, making sure to get her message across because she knows that you’re often too stubborn to believe them when they compliment you.
“We’re young and our career is only just beginning, so there will always be room for improvement. Plus, we’re both not from Korea, so of course not everything will be as easy for us as it is for the others, but has that ever let you down before?”
She doesn’t let you answer when she continues, not once breaking eye contact. “Everyone is here to help us. We’re a team for a reason. While we won’t always excel, we’re always going to wait for each other because that’s what a team - what a family does. So please, stop thinking that you’re worth less than anyone here because you’re just as important.”
Her voice grows softer after each word when she ends her sentence and you’re incredibly calmed by it as she brushes her thumb gently against your cheek when her forehead lightly bumps against yours.
“You don’t know understand how much it hurts to see you like this and all I want to do is take that pain and doubt away.” She murmurs and you shut your eyes, basking in the warmth that she had so easily provided before feeling soft lips pressing against your forehead.
You both stay like that for a while, just cuddling on your bed with her fingers combing through your hair. She doesn’t probe you on how you’re feeling, but seeing that you weren’t frowning nor were your shoulders slumped made her feel that you were a little bit better compared to before.
It’s when her phone vibrates with a text from Haseul that Kahei looks away from you and her brows pinch together when she sees it.
Why would the leader have to text her when she was just outside?
everything’s ready!
Confused, Kahei forgot that the girls were all getting something ready for you in the living room. So with a quick okay, the older girl gives you a small nudge before she’s nodding to the door. “The girls are calling for us.”
You don’t say anything, but the confusion is clear on your face as Kahei takes your hand and leads you outside, a smile on her face when she intertwines her fingers with yours just as you spot the rest of your group huddled together and you can’t help cracking a smile at how comedic they all looked.
Sooyoung looked awkward as she offered you a smile, Jungeun standing next to her, looking as though she had just finished scolding the younger girls who were trying their best to keep the snacks on the table while, for some reason, their own favorites kept disappearing, only for Hyunjin to place them back.
Heejin was silently counting everything to make sure that they had enough, only to restart every time Hyunjin would put the stolen snacks away and ensuing the pair to start arguing whilst Yeojin finished another one of her bead rings and Haseul just shook her head as Jinsoul tried to bite back her laughter while telling Jiwoo to keep her voice down.
“What are you doing?” You ask, an amused lilt to your tone as you properly assessed your members while Kahei grins and shakes her head, mimicking your leader when everyone snaps their attention to the two of you.
“It’s movie night!” Yerim happily announces while she’s trying to keep the remote away from Hyejoo’s hands and the latter grumbles. “I want to pick the movie!” She exclaimed, but Chaewon plucked the remote from Yerim’s hands, an already opened snack in her other hand. “We should ask Y/n what she wants to watch.”
“But unnie!” The second youngest was already staring at you with her puppy eyes that she often uses on you when she wants you siding with her and you smile softly before pulling Kahei to join everyone else in the living room.
Haseul slips next to the older girl, smiling when she sees the look the other sends you as you accept the bead ring Yeojin offers whilst trying to control the other two maknaes.
“Things went well, I hope?” The leader questions and Kahei hums with a fond smile playing at her lips. “I guess so.” She replies, seeing that you were slowly reverting back to your cheerful self when Heejin and Jiwoo join in on the pile you’ve all ended up in when Hyejoo tried stealing the remote again.
There’s laughter echoing in the dorm, add Jungeun’s slight screeching and Sooyoung’s scolding, but Haseul bumps her shoulders with Kahei while everyone is busy doing their own thing and finally picking a movie to watch. “So, have you both properly talked about it or...?”
Kahei stares at you when Jiwoo and Jinsoul begin to press kisses on your face, Yeojin coming in right after, and she smiles a little to herself. “Not yet, but we’re getting there.”
And honestly, that was enough for her as she soon took the spot next to you once given the chance and her arm loops with yours before she’s laying her head on your shoulder.
#girl group#girl group scenarios#girl group imagines#loona#loona scenarios#loona imagines#loona heejin#loona hyunjin#loona haseul#loona yeojin#loona vivi#loona kim lip#loona jinsoul#loona choerry#loona yves#loona chuu#loona gowon#loona olivia hye#vivi loona#wong kahei#vivi#vivi scenarios#vivi imagines#loona x reader
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What do you think of Helluva boss now that we're 6 episodes in and almost at the end of the first season?
(Hoo boy, this got long. TL;DR at the end. Otherwise, hunker down.)
The animation in this last episode was incredible. However, no visuals in any form of media will make up for shitty writing. You can frost the prettiest cake in the bakery, but if the confection underneath tastes like raw eggs, you've severely misplaced your efforts.
It bothers me that the characters have no real agency, or at least not when it comes to Blitzo and Stolas getting their happy endings (no double entendre intended). They act like robots who just change their opinions and entire demeanor when someone flips a switch.
For example, when Octavia asks Stolas why he's cheating on her mother and turning her life into a nightmare, he can't even give her an answer. Yet somehow she's okay with that, and their relationship is magically fixed despite Stolas making no effort to change his behavior or even explain it to the daughter he claims to love. Switch flipped.
When Loona blows up at Blitzo on the beach, he slinks away in sadness and we're supposed to think she's the asshole here. As opposed to, y'know, the adult who adopted her against her wishes and had been smothering her all day. And then when the portal opens to take them back, she just... goes with him. No one apologizes, nothing is resolved, and the whole conflict evaporates, never to be mentioned again. Switch flipped.
Now we hit Episode 6, and Blitzo's the one who falls prey to these baffling writing choices. In his gas-induced dream sequence, we see him in shackles, with Stolas pulling on his chain. This kind of symbolism's typically reserved for characters who feel trapped and want to be free. But at the end, out of total bumfuck nowhere, what does Blitzo do?! Make out with the person holding him hostage.
All this time I thought their relationship was purely transactional, but I guess Blitzo caught feelings offscreen at some point. And we, the intended adult audience, apparently aren't supposed to question that.
Switch. Fucking. Flipped.
Notice how neither Blitzo nor Stolas are held accountable in any of these scenarios. But in real life, they definitely would be; if not by those they hurt, then by the people who care for those they hurt. What would stop Octavia from leaving her dad after his weak-ass excuses? What would stop Loona from asserting her independence and refusing to return to Hell with Blitzo? What would stop Blitzo from putting his foot down and telling Stolas to stop treating him like a sex toy?
Obviously, the answer is "absolutely nothing", but the writers clearly want to roll both these characters in bubble wrap. Can't have their pwecious babies suffer any negative consequences! Protect them at all costs! Preferably with plot armor thicker than Earth's mantle.
It's pretty damn apparent that they want Stolitz (Stolas x Blitzo) to be a thing, despite how toxic that relationship actually is. Sure, they make whoopee together, but, importantly:
SEX DOES NOT EQUAL LOVE.
The power dynamic here is overwhelmingly skewed in Stolas' favor, giving him free rein to treat Blitzo like an object. In Episode 6 he calls him "my impish little plaything"; he doesn't even use Blitzo's name. The fact that he's an imp takes priority in that sentence, as if Stolas is fetishizing him like a covert racist would.
(Oh, by the way, Striker told Blitzo that Stolas was using him as a plaything in the previous episode. That was the exact word he used. Striker was 100% right about the situation, yet he's portrayed as a villain. Whatever, show.)
Blitzo reluctantly (up until Episode 6) goes along with it because he needs the grimoire, but, y'know... Are photocopiers not a thing in Hell? Why can't he just scan the pages he needs and let Stolas keep the book? Is there some provision that prevents people from using its spells unless given permission by its owner? Never explained.
The writers have prioritized this ship over solid, believable storytelling, and it really shows. As of now, it's Helluva's biggest weakness. The best thing that could happen in the season finale is Blitzo breaking things off with Stolas and embarking on a quest to find other methods of surface travel. I know by now that won't be the case, yet still I dream. Blitzo, as shitty as he can be, deserves better than Stolas, and the audience deserves a better show than what we currently have.
[TL;DR: This writing sucks. Characters are stripped of their agency so they won't be obstacles to Blitzo and Stolas' "romantic" relationship. The writers clearly favor this toxic ship, and it's the show's biggest weakness by far. Blitzo, dump his ass already.]
#ask#anon ask#anonymous#helluva critical#writing#character agency#plot armor#helluva boss#anti stolas#anti stolitz
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EDEN - Ch.3 Part 4
🍎Loona x Twice x (G)-Idle x Itzy x DreamCatcher
🍎EDEN Masterlist
🍎Word Count: 8.2k
Chapter 3: The Imperishable Crown, Part 4
One O’clock, but the small hand made each minute pass even slower. It was so weird to act as if today was a normal day, completely ordinary. I had no idea how the girls besides me managed to do it.
The sun prided itself up in the middle of the sky, with every crevice of The Promised Land finding a bit of it’s light. The dinner hall was busy and moving, lunch usually wasn’t as calm as dinner, with a lot of girls just grabbing something quick and leaving, and others stayed for a while, grabbing something heartier.
My eyes kept looking over Ryujin, at the hustle of the tables that kept being filled and emptied with girls that kept laughing and talking with their friends, unaware of everything that was about to go down in just a few hours.
“Are you gonna eat that?” Ryujin’s head popped up in my view, her mouth half full as she asked. I looked down at whatever her fork was pointing out on my plate, immediately snatching in my hands my bread roll when I realized, looking back at her with furrowed eyebrows and a pout over my lips. “I was just asking! I’ll go get some more then.”
She stood up and headed towards the food bar, but my eyes eventually lost her through the crowds. A few tables away, Yves kept having little, controlled bites of her lunch, her eyes always looking back at our table, as Hyeju and Yerim besides her chatted with the other two girls nonchalantly.
“Something’s bothering you.” Heejin’s voice brought me back from my little trance making me jump, startled. “You stop eating when you’re not feeling well.”
“What? Of course not! I’m fine!” I violently took a bite out of the bun in my hand, munching and swallowing faster. “What makes you think that?”
“We’ve been here for half an hour and that’s the second bite I’ve seen you take.” She chuckled. “But if I asked you how many people have crossed the door in the last five minutes you could probably answer correctly.”
“Eleven. Six going out and five entering.” I whispered, shrinking my shoulders as she shook her head, giggling even more.
I looked down at my bowl, the ingredients still mostly nicely arranged except for the one mouthful where my fork was buried in, and the sole bite on my bun. Ryujin had finished her entire bowl and went for seconds, Heejin was just seeping on a glass of fresh lemon water, and my bowl was practically intact.
“It’s just that I’m not that hungry right now.” And the second I put my bun down at the table, my stomach roared loud enough for both to hear it.
My cheeks burning up as I buried further into my seat made Heejin laugh even more, little wrinkles forming on the corner of her eyes. The sight brought a light smile back into my lips for a second, before going back into pouting.
“Here.” She laid her arm on the table, turning her body towards me. She grabbed the fork on my bowl, arranging a diverse mouthful and then brought it closer to my mouth. I took the bite while not taking my eyes out of her. We continued in silence, when eventually a sigh fell out of my mouth. “Would you like to tell me what has gotten into your mind?”
“I just can’t stop thinking about… later.” I answered truthfully before taking another bite. “I don’t know how everyone acts so normal. Well, you and Ryujin, even Hyeju and Yerim are just laughing on the table over there and... And there’s this sensation inside me that tingles? I don’t know how to describe it, it’s like a shiver, but not from cold, it’s uncertain...”
“You’re nervous.” She stated, giving me another mouthful of food.
“If that’s what being nervous feels like-” I answered while still chewing, swallowing before continuing. “Then I guess I am nervous. Why? How does it stop?”
“I would love to know the answer to that too...” Heejin smiled back at me, her sight lowering into my lips, lingering for longer than a second there. “You have some-”
She grabbed the napkin from the table, delicately cleaning the corner of my mouth. A faint smile appeared on her lips as she finished, closing in another mouthful of my bowl. I could feel my face slightly warmer at the whole ordeal, my eyes scanning for the little close details on her smooth face.
“They didn’t have any more bread rolls but at least they’ve got-” Ryujin’s words halted, making us turn towards her as she approached with a plate with two different pieces of bread. Her cheeks flushed, as she hid behind her plate, whispering. “I’m sorry, were you two… talking-”
“Why aren’t you nervous?!” I noticed the urgency in my question a little late, talking once again with my mouth half full. Swallowing quickly and a little painfully on my throat, I turned my body back to the table, addressing Ryujin. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I’m a bit… anxious.”
“About today?” Ryujin hesitantly sat back at the table and set her plate down. I nodded at her question as I kept eating. “I am nervous. The more time we spend here the more I think I’m gonna end up eating the entire bread basket from the bar back there.”
“We can go already,” Heejin added as she drank the last of her beverage, her smile wide on her face as she gathered the empty plates on the table on a tray.
“But I haven’t-” I looked down at my bowl, finding it completely empty. “Huh…”
Looking over at Heejin, she did nothing but offer me a playful smile, taking my bowl into her tray. I wrapped my bread bun in a napkin, to be eating little pieces of it throughout the rest of the afternoon, Ryujin doing the same with hers.
We got up from the table, walking in separate ways. While I took the tray of dirty plates to have them washed up, Ryujin and Heejin went to gather up lunch for the girls back in the dorm. Today, the room was packed with all seven of them as we helped them get ready to be reintroduced to the Promised Land.
Out of every girl in here, only the Silly Squad, Sana and some of Yves’ friends knew about them, including Kim Lip, who may live forever confused at everything she saw happening that night. After all, not every night you suddenly have to hide a crowd of confused, injured and scared girls in your room.
Yves managed to convince her to help her tailor some dresses for all of them, just like she helped tailor one for me on my first day. The plan for now was to deliver lunch and check up on the final details on their dresses and their part of the heist before taking our last class of the day.
Everything had to be perfectly clear for everyone if we hoped for a shot at making this work.
I left the tray in its place, turning around to catch up with the other two girls, when I noticed a silhouette right in front of me. I stopped just in time to avoid a coalition, with the other girl stopping too, surprised. Raising my view from the floor, I was face to face with no other than a startled Sana.
“Hey…” She started, surprising me even further. I thought she would just avoid me entirely, like she had done all this time, but no. She smiled, gently, fidgeting her hands as her eyes landed on mine. “How’s your leg?”
“Oh-” The question caught me off guard, making me look down at my own limb. I stuttered before finding an answer. “It’s doing good… I would say perfect now.”
“That’s good, that’s good to hear.” She cleared her throat, finally diverting her eyes somewhere else. “And how’s everyone doing? Ryujin, Heejin, Hyeju…”
“They’re good! We’re good. School has us a little tired, that’s all.” Even surrounded by girls going left and right, I could sense an awkward silence lingering between us. One I wasn’t enjoying at all. “You know, the usual… playing around.”
“Yeah, Mina commented a little about it.” She smiled while looking down at the floor. “She said hanging out with you was actually really fun, I don’t doubt it one bit. I know I have been distanced, but there is something I want to-”
“Hey Eden! We got their lunch, let’s-” Heejin closed in with Ryujin following close behind, both of them coming to a halt the moment their eyes landed on Sana. Heejin's smile dropped as she got closer to us, her eyes alternating between the two. “Hey Sana”
“Hey! We- We were just talking about you. It’s good to see you all again.” Sana stammered her way through the words. She sighed, looking over her shoulder at a table far from us. “I think you are in a rush, I won’t stop you-”
“But you-”
“Yeah, we’re a little busy today.” Ryujin cut me up, not even bothering looking back at us. “Maybe another day?”
“Sure.” Sana cleared up her throat. I noticed her hands shaking and her voice almost breaking in the process. She glanced back at us, worry peeking in her eyes. “Take care, okay?”
“We will.” I answered just before she took off and away from us.
All three of us were left in a state of total confusion, watching as she walked, almost ran away from us and got lost in between the tables and people.
“That was weird.” Ryujin dryly cut the air. “What did she want from you?”
“I don’t know. She wanted to tell me something-” I mumbled back. “She just asked about my leg and then about you. But... she doesn’t look okay. She looked scared.”
“Well, that sounds like a problem for another day.” Ryujin scoffed, taking my arm in her hand. “We have other things to worry about right now.”
“But...” It still didn’t sit well for me. I looked over my shoulder hoping to catch another glimpse of the girl, but to no avail. “I guess you’re right. Let’s go.”
Out the doors from the dinner hall, I was met with the huge courtyard and it’s shining marbled fountain blinding as the sun posed its rays over it. The deep green leaves of the tree behind it danced with the few winds that made it’s way into it, the golden bell hanging from one of its branches slightly tilting with them. A shiver travelled through my spine at the memory of being up there.
Even if the fountain was surrounded by a fairly busy building, I remember it being deathly quiet. Only a deep growl from the earth itself surrounding you kept you company, as Mx. Michael, wearing their white gown appeared from the top balcony looking over at you with their piercing eyes.
The entire way back into the dorm was a silent one, with Ryujin leading the way and Heejin walking by my side. Only at the very end did I notice how she walked with her head down, sulking her back.
I gently slid my hand on her free one, intertwining our fingers. Her eyes looked up at mine, as I offered a smile back to her. She always did it to me when I wasn’t feeling great. And I considered the attempt successful when she smiled back at me, softly, just to tighten her grip over my hand, and then get her eyes back on the path, not losing that smile for the reminding of the way.
We arrived at the dorm, and headed straight to the room where all the other girls were. Ryujin knocked the door with a pattern we all agreed as a secret, just to keep anyone foreign from entering.
“Hey! It’s us!” She announced. “We brought you lunch!”
“It’s open!” Mina’s voice on the other side gave us the green light. “Come in!”
We opened the door, being welcomed immediately by a quick shadow travelling incredibly fast in front of us, Yuqi’s black curls flying in the air as she urgently moved through the room.
The loud laughter of other girls filled the room as we moved through the hustling room with nobody making note of our presence. All the seven rescued girls were in this room right now, and I for once was glad that the rooms were quite spacious.
Handong was looking at herself in a mirror beside us, a satisfied smile as she scanned from head to toe. The dress she was wearing was voluminous, flowy and light, almost seeming to dance with the air. Sleeves made of lace, with golden trimmings. Beautiful enough for it to be worthy of an angel.
“Oh hi girls!” Yoohyeon looked at us through another mirror, with her hands completely over her head as Mina walked around her with pins pressed between her lips, fixing the fabric around her. “They’re here!”
Other four incredibly elegant and ornamented dresses from different soft colors hanging from a bed frame on the far corner of the room, focusing my eyes closer as Gahyeon, Sua, Siyeon and Dami closed in on us wearing more casual fits.
I handled the plates of food I was carrying with me to Ryujin as she handed them out their portions of food.
“At dinner you’ll finally be able to sit with us in the dinner hall!” She said excitedly as she got out a packed bag of bread from her pouch. “I swear everything tastes a hundred times better.”
They all seemed very excited at the idea of not being closed up in their rooms all day, as they chatted and asked questions about the Promised Land to Heejin and Ryujin.
I looked around for the one girl I was missing in my sight, catching her up in the empty cloak room. I approached as she twirled around in front of a mirror wearing a beautiful yellow sleeveless gown. She caught me staring at her on one of her twirls, jumping in surprise. Her cheeks turned a slight pink as she waved her hands towards me.
“Hey Eden!” She smiled, grabbing the skirt of the dress on her hands and swinging around playfully. “What do you think?”
“I- I think it’s gorgeous.” I stammered, clearing my throat up as I took some steps forward. “How are the ‘nightmares’ going on?”
“Better,” She dropped the dress and the intensity of the smile. “Still there but they come so much less often.”
“Anything new you remembered?” I leaned on one of the closets, crossing my arms over my chest comfortably.
“Not much, just little chats and moments with them.” She looked down, the sole memories bringing her happiness. She sighed, not losing her smile as she looked at the girls above my shoulder. “I miss them.”
“I know…” I reached for her hand, gently caressing the back of her palm with my thumb. “I hope today goes well enough, maybe give you back a little of what you’ve lost.”
She let out a deep breath, letting my hand go as she turned around, staring at her entire figure through the mirror.
“Somedays I wish I’d forgotten too.” She confessed. “I look at them and they are… fine. They keep discovering this place like newborns welcomed into an exciting world, and I stay quiet, trying not to fade away their smiles with everything. Mx. Michael was right about one thing… It’s way more painful to remember what we’ve lost.”
“But maybe building new memories could be fun too.” I walked to her side.
“Maybe…” She answered, sighing. I was preparing to go back to the main room with the rest of the girls. “Eden?”
“Yeah?” I stopped my steps.
“If- if I asked you to erase my memory too…” Her smile finally dropped, as she turned around, looking back at me. “...would you help me?”
“I-” The question grabbed me by surprise, as I looked for a possible answer in my mind. “If you really wanted to… I think I could-”
“Hey Eden!” Ryujin’s voice filled the room. “We’re gonna be late to choir if you don’t hurry up!”
I took just one last glance at Jiu before heading back into the room. All of them were sitting on the floor or over the beds taking their lunch excitedly.
Yoohyeon and Sua were already talking about all the things they would do outside with Yuqi, with Handong, Dami, Gahyeon and Mina listening to Ryujin’s stories about the nights we sneaked out into the kitchen. Siyeon and Heejin were chatting about other things I couldn’t hear until their eyes landed on me and Siyeon offered me a wide smile.
Jiu arrived by my side in her more casual wear, sitting silently beside Handong and Dami only offering them a kind smile before grabbing her the lunch.
“I think everyone is finally here!” Ryujin cut up her story, and looked up at me. “I think everything is ready for this afternoon so… Master! Take it away!”
She jumped up, facing me with her palm extended over her eyebrow and a playful smile. All the girls’ eyes were on me as silence fell into the room.
“Sure, so…” I cleared up my throat, swallowing hard, not really used to that level of attention. “Today’s the big day huh? I- I’m positive everything will go as planned. Mostly because this is really the first time we plan anything at all.”
I had to stop and breath before continuing, shaking up my hands to release that tingling sensation ramping up my body. I looked over at Heejin, who smiled back at me and offered me a thumbs up.
“You already know Yves, Hyeju and Yerim,” I disclosed, “If anything starts going south, look for them and they will look for you too, trust them. They’ll keep you safe, I taught them a few tricks they have up their sleeves.”
“Wait! You taught them magic?! Why didn’t you teach me?” Ryujin teased, pouting her lips at me. “I thought I was your best friend!”
“Because you’re coming with me!” I chuckled at the girl still throwing a tantrum by my side, the laughter easing a bit of the tension on my shoulder. “I’ll teach you cooler things later, I promise.”
“Fine, whatever.” She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’ll take it.”
After another deep breath, I turned back to the girls, the words I was about to say echoed in my mind, like a long lost memory of my past. I wondered if my face was as scared as theirs the first day I arrived at the Promised Land.
“As for you,” I started, “When the clock hits six, I want you all to be in the center of the fountain in the courtyard, right on top of the pedestal and ring the bell. From that moment on, you start from cero. You don’t know anything, or any of us.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I could almost hear the tickling of the clock on the wall far away from us, my eyes diverting from the wall to the window to the table, back to the wall and only three seconds had passed since the last time my eyes had been over the clock.
How slow time passed when you wanted it to happen fast, or did I? Did I really want it to happen fast? The tickling became a harmony to the beating of my heart, which I felt all the way up to my head. I was pretty sure the heart was not up there, but by now, I believed anything was possible.
There were just a few more souls in the library besides us, all far too immersed in the books they were reading to notice anything unusual about today. But of course, part of the plan was that, that no one should know. I wish I didn’t, somehow knowing makes the wait a lot worse.
And back to the clock again. Only a minute, a minute that couldn’t pass any slower than it did. It was too much. The silence, the wait, the numbness of it all.
I pushed my chair back and stood up, making everyone on my table look up to me. Their confused eyes scanned through me, but I couldn’t figure out the exact intent of their looks. With words stuck up my throat, I turned around and got lost through the bookshelves behind me.
I glided through books and books beside me, my eyes couldn’t rest on a title enough to read it completely. The spines were of a lot of different colors, but no one color was bright enough or popped out for me to stop.
Empty spaces started appearing between books, first a space enough for a light book, then one for either two books or one thick book. Then, the gaps between books started getting larger and larger, complete shelves emptied, and only that’s when I stopped.
A completely empty shelf standing right before me. I looked at the top engraving, the genre that was supposed to fill all that space. Controversial For Humans. It seemed like yesterday that this aisle was full, with books barely fitting one against the other… gone.
Without the bright covers, the white and cream pages reflecting the few light of the sun that got into this aisles, all the exposed dark wood made the entire place feel darker than it was.
“I remember this place.” Yuqi’s voice beside me made me jump startled, she was looking around the empty shelves too. “When we met, it was… really different back then.”
I couldn’t say a word as my eyes followed her around the aisle. Her finger dragged along one of the shelves, making particles of dust fly into the air and she sighed, rubbing her fingers together. She was carrying a book in her hands, which she raised up to her face, dusted it off too and then put it up on the shelf in front of her.
“Discours sur les sciences et les arts…” I read under my breath and to myself, getting closer to the book. “By Jean-Jacques Rousseau.”
“You forgot to return it.” Yuqi's chuckle faded fast, looking almost nostalgic at the book. “At least now it’s a bit closer to that day.”
“I remember...” I said, turning towards her and smiling back. “You didn’t look at me like a weird bug even though everyone from your dorm did-”
“Because I knew there was something different about you. And to be honest? One has to be a fool not to see it.” Her smile was wide at me, as her hand gently laid up on my arm.
“It’s because I’m The Master.” I shook away her hand and took a step back. “I don’t even know what that title means anymore. Without the knowledge, the power… Who is the Master supposed to be anyway? What am I supposed to do?”
“Well, what do you want to do?” She shrugged, leaning into the book shelf in curiosity.
“I- I wasn’t here to save them when they needed me...” A lump in my throat appeared as I looked back at her. “I am here now to do so. To protect them, to take care of everyone else… and all of you. I can’t let anything happen to any of you. I’m not gonna let them.”
For once, I received no answer from Yuqi, who just stayed there, looking at me with a smile. In a second, her entire body weight slammed against mine, her arms surrounding my back. Her perfume and rebellious hair tickling my neck. I breathed as I relaxed into her embrace, a big sigh coming out of my mouth as I did.
“I need to get in there, get back my powers and clear my name. Do what I was always intended to do.” I choked, feeling heat burning in my chest, but by now I knew to differentiate the bad heat from the warmth. And it kept growing inside me as I kept going. “Because, if I can’t protect you all… then who am I?”
“Maybe you just have to be Eden-”
The clock on the courtyard rang, followed immediately by the sound of a bell. Cutting up all ideas made both our heads snap up. Our eyes looked for each other and with no words said, we rushed back to the table where we were, Heejin, Ryujin and Mina already standing up, waiting for us.
Looking up, the clock on the wall was just a few seconds past perfectly 6 O’Clock. Jiu rang the bell exactly at the indicated hour, and it wasn’t long until we started to hear people moving all around the academy.
Murmurs between the wary girls around us filled the air as we slowly walked towards the entrance door to the library, making sure that everyone else in there was ahead of us.
We waited until we were the only people left in the library, waiting on the windows for the others to give us a sign.
I peeked through one of them that led to the huge courtyard known as the center of the Promised Land. There, in the fountain right in the middle, all seven girls, Jiu, Yoohyeon, Dami, Sua, Siyeon, Handong and Gahyeon, stood wearing their bright dresses on top of the marble pedestal from the fountain in the middle.
Scanning through the crowds I was able to see from there, was a whole different picture. I remember my initiation to be lonely because of the curfew in place, later learning that it’s actually mandatory for everyone to interrupt their tasks and attend. And this was, technically, the first one I had ever attended. It didn’t look as celebratory as I remember them telling me they were.
Every girl that laid their eyes up on them gasped in surprise. If they were from the latest generations, this was the first time they had seen seven girls arrive at the same time, but the farthest generation's reaction was far more intense.
They knew these girls personally, and worse, they all thought them dead. They thought their fate was one of the most gruesome and irredeemable punishments one can ever suffer in the Promised Land.
And yet, they stood right in front of their eyes.
Some of them broke out crying, others tried to contain their tears, their faces hidden behind their hands. The clueless younger generations ran towards the others, trying to understand, to figure out what was going on.
A light suddenly blinded my eyes and as I looked back covering myself from it, Yerim was on the other side of the courtyard, aiming the sun’s reflection on a pocket mirror towards this window.
“That's the sign,” Ryujin reacted first, “All the teachers are on their sight. We’re clear. Let’s go.”
We turned around, running through the library towards the one corner of the library where the hidden room was. Looking straight at it, we paused, our breaths holding for a second.
“Seymour, hope you don’t mind.” Ryujin turned around to the carnivorous plant silently and peacefully sitting at the corner table. “I promise we’ll pick this up later.”
She went ahead and shoved a good portion of the middle shelf to the floor, revealing the handprint engraved on the wood behind it.
I stepped forward, extending my hand over it. Breathing deeply, I closed my eyes and put my hand over the engraving. The engraving was certainly of one much bigger hand, with my entire hand barely being able to cover the palm.
But just as hoped, a white, shining steam started emanating from my palm, lighting the grim corner of the room.
“Quick! Ryujin, Heejin each take one side!” Mina instructed the two girls who rushed beside me, their mind completely concentrated on the task. “Okay, Ryujin, red book on the third shelf.”
Ryujin quickly found it and pressed it firmly. The sensation of a spark ignited in my hand and I jumped startled at the gentle sensation, but kept silent, as the white on my hands turned a bit denser.
“Now, Heejin, Thick green book on the fifth shelf.” Mina continued. Heejin pressed it as soon as she found it and the sparkling sensation happened again.
Mina choreographed their movements one by one, each pressed book causing the fog on my hand to thicken and move faster, almost like if it was urgent to move, to escape.
“Okay, I’ll try my best...” Mina cleared her throat and raised a book into her eyes. She sighed, the air coming out shakily. “O Magister promitto inquirere veritatem, nisi quod verum est in nomine bonitatis.”
Just as the last syllable was falling out her mouth, the smoke travelled up and down a straight line, marking the precise middle of the door followed by the edges on the middle arc of the bookshelf.
They croaked open before me, the light coming from inside making us cover our eyes from the blinding light coming from it. As the light became more forgiving, I lowered my arms. It was like someone had punched my whole lungs out of air. And as the other girls closed in, their gasps harmonized with mine as their own eyes tried taking in everything in front of us.
Two stories tall, the dome above let light fall into every crevice of the room, like if it was made of the sun itself, because there was no shadow to be casted by an angle. The wood of the shelves was a bright white, carrying books of the brightest colors, their pages golden, silver or even pitch black. But the real breathtaker lied in the wall at the back.
A mural covering all the back wall, made of shining ceramic pieces the size of a thumb of thousand different colors, made an entire painting tower over us all the way to the ceiling.
“Holy-” Ryujin was the first to step inside, swallowing her words before continuing. “How could they hide this?”
“And I thought I had gone through every book in this damned library...” Yuqi started reading the names over the books, her face was bright, excited. She picked one eagerly, grazing through it’s glowing pages.
But what I was drawn to was the mural. Walking forward, my mind started identifying the figures that the tiles formed. A clear sunny field, filled to the brim with trees, flowers, animals like birds and butterflies. Up front, a leafy tree cascaded through the middle of the image, it’s branches full of red figures… fruit dangling from them.
The bottom of it’s trunk was adorned by a marble fountain, it’s streams made from iridescent blue tiles that looked like moving water as the light bounced from them. And on the top of the pedestal, there was someone standing. I couldn’t see their faces, but the detail that jumped out for me was the wings behind their back, and the fruit in their hand.
And when I looked back up, I realized that some of the figures that I thought were birds before, were in fact other winged people. They looked free, happy even, as I imagined them gliding through the sky.
“Wait a second-” Heejin closed in, her hand pointing directly to the middle top piece of the mural. “Is that supposed to be you?”
I followed her finger, pointing exactly at another figure, but this time, completely made of white, shining tiles that looked like they emanate a glow from themselves. The silhouette was way bigger than the rest of the people, resting on top of the entire image, as if overlooking everyone below it.
“Maybe-” I replied.
“It doesn't look like you at all…” Suddenly Ryujin was on my other side, also staring at the mural above us, her voice honeyed and raised up in a funny and pompous accent. “It’s such a scandal to be portraying The Master in such incorrect ways. If I may, they completely failed to capture her unique and striking beauty, as legends say, she could make you fall in love with her with just the look of her eyes. This piece of art is totally blasphemous! Wouldn’t you agree with me, Miss Heejin?”
All the tension built up in my body released itself into the air with my laughter. Ryujin also couldn’t contain herself and started laughing along with me, but Heejin just scoffed, punching Ryujin’s arm and rolling her eyes, looking back up.
“Yuqi?” She dropped her arms and her voice became so urgent.
“Wha-?” Yuqi turned around, with already a stack of books big enough from her arms to her chin.
“Can you lend me the book we brought?” Heejin didn’t even turn around, her eyes still locked in position, up the mural.
“Yes… Just a second. Eh-” Yuqi stammered, immediately followed by a rain of thumps against the floor, a sigh and some shifting. “Found it!”
She closed in on us with that thick and worn down book between her arms and handed it to Heejin. She had to use both hands to raise it up, even with the strength that I remember her having.
That’s when I realized what Heejin was looking at. The same figure we suspected of being the representation of The Master carried a book between their hands. One that looked exactly like the one we possessed right now.
“It’s The Master’s Creed.” I mumbled through my lips, but loud enough for the others to hear too.
“I’m sorry,” Yuqi furrowed her eyebrows at me. “the what now?”
“The Master’s Creed.” I continued, “The Teachers asked the girls for it before expelling them, they said they would rip the answer out of their mouth if necessary.”
“Oh. Kind of extreme for me if you ask.” Mina gulped.
“That’s why they were searching for it when the room opened again.” Heejin continued. “It must be kind of important if they’re willing to… do that for it.”
“But it’s blank!” Yuqi repeated, shrugging. “How important can a blank, old book be? And why did you make me carry it all this way?”
“Because I don’t think it’s meant to be blank-” I rushed close to the mural.
The book up there was surrounded by a shining yellow four point star. The one beam pointing towards the south travelled all the way down, right to the level of my eyes. And right on the point, there was a tiny little hole in the wall. So small that I could only discover it by standing bare inches away from the wall.
I looked down at my neck and rushed to get the chain out of my head. I glanced at the key, and back at the hole. Comparing them both and hesitating, what other thing could I do? I put the key right into the hole and pushed it in.
The entire star started to shine, cutting a straight line from the top to the bottom with white smoke coming out of it. There was a deep rumble in the room, with the mural opening up towards me like a pair of doors.
I didn’t realize I wasn’t moving at all until Heejin pulled me away from the pad of the doors, where we five stood up, wide eyes and mouth agape.
The smoke coming out of the room was thick enough to not let us see through but light coming out from above made it glow blindingly, letting us open our eyes until the doors opened completely.
A round room, as tall as the two stories but smaller in width. Maybe one could barely extend their arms to their sides and reach the walls, which were made completely covered in mirrors. A slim ray of light descended from a top we weren’t able to see from our place, but it rested right on top of an empty lectern.
“Nice.” Ryujin chuckled.
“A secret room inside a secret room…” Yuqi whispered. “Why am I even surprised?”
Heejin took a step forward towards the room, wary, with the old book between her hands. She looked back at us before making the move we were all thinking about. We all nodded, with Ryujin signaling with her hands to go ahead. I noticed how Yuqi and Ryujin slowly moved behind my back, distress taking over their entire expressions. Mina was curious, and I noticed her feet prepared to run away if she needed to.
Heejin took a deep breath, taking a step back. And tossed the book towards the lectern.
A strange choked sound came out of her mouth as she rushed back to us, hiding herself behind me. The book only landed on the top corner and rolled over itself, thudding as it hit the ground.
Heejin sighed as we all let out the tension over our shoulders, an asphyxiating silence falling upon us. Yuqi walked forward picking up the book with utmost care, fixing the pages and dusting it off lightly.
“I knew you would be here!” A foreign voice made us all jump, some even scream at their intrusion. I turned around, pushing everyone behind me as my hands stood before my body in a defensive position. But the only thing I found was an equally scared Sana right at the entrance of the hidden room.
She was shaking, her hands crossed against her chest, hesitantly taking a step back. I lowered my arms, furrowing my eyebrows in disbelief.
“What do you want?” I mumbled, shaking my head disappointed at the force which my words spit out of my mouth.
“This is what I wanted to talk to you about, I just didn’t think-” She wrapped her own clothes, with her words shaking as they came out of her mouth. “You need to stop all of this!”
“How did you know-”
“It- It doesn’t matter.” She warily stepped inside, step by step coming closer to us. “Get out of here as soon as you can, The teachers are already not happy about everything going on outside, if they find you here-”
“I need to do this,” I snapped back at her. “But of course you wouldn’t understand-”
“No! I understand!” Her words were choked, more urgent as each second passed. “This won’t end well! You’re just putting everyone in great danger- I know what the teachers would do to get their hands on that book!”
“And you think I don’t!? I need whatever it’s hiding to get back my title of The Master!” I also moved towards her as the argument scaled up. “But how do you-”
A quick flash was enough to push back my mind. Enough images to put the entire painting back together. My body welcomed back that sensation of a flame in my chest, the one that burnt, that hurt.
“It was you…” I looked down at the floor as the images and words flew by in my mind. I had no control over my words stabbing the air. “That’s why you were glad they didn’t remember anything, why you always tried to stop me. You were there in Jiu’s memory and they even told me not to trust you… It was you.”
“I didn’t mean to-” Her eyes started to fill with tears, her body violently shaking as her body shrunk on itself. “I swear I didn’t-”
“What were you thinking? You snitched on them and it got them hurt, expelled...” My voice started sounding more like a rumble, resounding throughout the room. “You’re the reason we’re in this mess!”
“I never meant for any of this to happen!” She was fully sobbing, rapidly taking steps back as I closed in on her. “I swear I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt! They told us they would protect us, take care of us and I believed them! I was scared! I didn’t know! Please Eden, I would never-”
“Go away.”
The flame in my chest flared up my entire body, one last word as one last stab. She gasped, choking on her own tears, turning around and sprinting out of the room, out of the library.
I couldn’t move, the sensation on my body still rattling all my thoughts, rendering me inmovile. But it started fighting against a feeling of remorse that dawned over me. Something wanted me to run behind her and apologize, but the heat still roamed lively inside of me-
“Eden?” Heejin’s call made me jump, her hand gently taking my arm.
I didn’t even bother to look back at her, my hand quickly laid on top of hers, letting a deep breath come out of my entire body. I shook my head, but nothing made the flame go away, on the contrary, it was like feeding it more each second.
“Let’s just get this over with.” I cut up, turning around and away from her.
I took the book from Yuqi’s hands, rushed towards the lectern and slammed it on top of it. And still nothing. It was just a book, with the beam of light now laying on it’s old and torn leather cover.
“What do I have to do for you to help me!?” I snapped at it, my fists falling on top of it with my head falling down as I fighted back tears. I sighed, not angry, just disappointed. “Please… Do something.”
The girls’ gasps made me open my eyes. The beam of light grew to embrace me too, and as I looked back to my fists, my palms emanated pure and warm light. I glanced up, hearing almost like a chorus singing down towards me. They kept singing ‘gratissimum dominum’ in a loop, and I didn’t know what it meant at all. I turned around to the girls, scared.
“Do… Do you guys hear it too?” I trembled.
They nodded in awe, their eyes as wide as they could possibly be. Behind me, another weird sound caught my attention. One of someone writing over paper. I turned once again to the book, there was no one there, but the sound became louder. I rushed to unlock it’s flap and opened it wide.
Words. There were words on it.
They were appearing in a seemingly random way, as if being written with fresh ink. I ran through different pages, it was all being written right there and then in front of my eyes.
But then a strong rumble from below us shook the ground as the light from the lectern capsule invaded the entire room. We all managed to stay on our feet, but some books over the shelves fell to the ground.
“YOU!” Hyeju appeared at the entrance to the room, too distressed to even notice the beauty of the room and the light. “What did you do?!”
“There’s words!- “ I grabbed the book from the lectern, shaking it in my hands trying to show all of them. “There’s words in the book!”
“Yes! That’s how books normally work!” She spit, “ We need to get out of here NOW!”
“What happened?” Ryujin turned around as we all closed in.
“Mx. Michael and Mr. Azrael have completely lost their heads,” Hyeju rushed us out of the room. A thunder made the entire place shake, followed by the ground rumbling again. “It’s them, they’re shouting like crazy to the sky and- Mrs. Gabrielle and Mr. Uriel are rushing everyone to the dorms and-”
“The girls-”
“Yves and Yerim already took them into the dorms.” Her breath was accelerating, holding on to one of the library columns as the ground moved right below our feet. “Mx. Sariel tried luring them into the Great Hall, but they took them away on time-”
“They must know someone’s here.” Mina stepped forward. “It won’t be long before they’re here.”
I took the book into the safety of my arms and we took off towards the exit. Jumping and trampling over books and chairs all around the floor, as the library got blindingly attacked by lightning coming from it’s huge windows.
Moving through the dark rumbles and through the last rows of books, the door to the library was violently thrown open. We all dropped through the ground, as Mr. Azrael and Mx. Sariel hurried right in. All their usual pose was nowhere to be found, with Mr. Azrael’s normally slicked hair completely disheveled.
We were asking for a miracle, for them to not notice us here. The thunder around making enough noise to cover for our presence and our overly increasing breath.
“Michael!” Mr. Azrael’s voice boomed all around the library.
And Mx. Michael marched right into the library, there was pure fury in their eyes as they made their way through the ruinous library. I could watch them through little nooks between all the bookshelves keeping us apart from them.
They stopped right in front of the entrance to the hidden room, with the light still emanating from the inside.
“C’mon!” Mina touched my shoulder and signed me to follow her, as I watched Ryujin and Hyeju jump out the library through a window close by.
I stood up, following her. Heejin and Yuqi were already on the other side, so I tossed them the book, made sure they hid it well and climbed up the window.
A loud crash, a glass breaking into a thousand little pieces sounded right from where the teachers were. I turned around, the light coming from the room was gone.
“THEY GOT IT!” I remembered the same fury out of Mr. Azrael’s mouth from Jiu’s dream. But this time, this was so much worse. “RIGHT ON OUR FACES AGAIN!”
Another crash, and I catched Mx. Michael running out of the room, towards the exit.
In fear, I launched my whole body weight out the window, barely managing to avoid hitting my face against the floor. I stood up, as I caught some other girls running ahead of us.
“Go, GO!” I commanded.
The six of us made a run towards the dorm building with no one running behind us. The ground rumbling below us made me trip, with the ghost of my leg injury making an apparition, as I struggled to get up in the middle of the mess.
Helped up by Ryujin and Hyeju, our adrenaline kept our feet going through the buildings until we got to the dorms’ door.
Mina pushed open the door and let us all into the first one we could enter, with me collapsing on the floor once I was inside.
“Eden!” Heejin rushed to my side, raising up my head with both her hands. I looked up in her eyes, as she scanned me from head to toe
“I’m okay-” I gasped, trying to steady my breathing. “You got the book?”
“Safe and sound.” Yuqi answered from beside me.
I managed to stand up, checking over Ryujin who kept trying to steady herself, her hands over her knees and her breathing was heavy, Mina rested her back against a column, looking up at the sky. Hyeju was already between Yerim’s arms, who made sure to check on her from head to toe.
The ground rumbled again, followed by a lighting that filled the room. The air filled with little screams and pants. Only then I noticed the other girls around us.
They were embracing each other, some were crying, sobbing. Their faces were so full of fear and panic. Others were trying to help them calm down, but they themselves didn’t look to calm themselves.
Some held their lanterns up, handling what little food they had to others to calm down. Others invited those who shivered into their quills. But there wasn’t a single word between any of them.
A choked weeping made me turn to my right, finding Heejin desperately trying to stop crying. I felt my heart twisting inside me. She was always there to comfort me when I needed her to, so much that her arms felt like a safe place for me. Looking back once again at the girls in the lounge, I decided to try the same.
I reached for her, circling Heejin with my arms. She stiffened at first, but was quick to relax and embrace me too. Her hands were holding on tightly to the fabric of my back, as I felt her hurried heart on my chest. She laid her head on my shoulder, finally letting all her tears fall out of her eyes.
Over her shoulder, looking up as I caressed her hair, the windows that surrounded the doors let me have a good but distant view of the main building. I could see Mx. Michael’s silhouette standing on top of the fountain’s pedestal, looking up at the sky.
They shot lightning at the air, which I knew had to be immediately followed by the ground shaking. Holding on tightly to the girl between my arms, only the scared screams of the girls behind me surged once again.
But then there was their voice, almost screaming right into my ear. Judging everyone’s lack of reaction, I was the only one that could hear it.
“COME OUT YOU COWARD!” Mx. Michael howled at the sky, a message especially dedicated to me. “WE DEFEATED YOU ONCE, WE CAN DO IT AGAIN!”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Next: The Crown of Righteousness, Part 1 ▶
◀ Last: The Imperishable Crown, Part 3
#AshWritesEDEN#loona imagines#dreamcatcher imagines#itzy imagines#twice imagines#gidle imagines#loona scenarios#dreamcatcher scenarios#itzy scenarios#twice scenarios#gidle scenarios
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Truth Seekers episode review (spoilers)
Why did none of us think that Blitzo wouldn’t use the book to see Earth horses !
The two agents only just appeared but I bet someone is already making ship art of them.
“Talking about how it’s hard to find something only for it to conveniently appear” trope
Though small its nice seeing Loona care about a sad Millie.
First “intoxicated” Moxxie, then berserk Millie, and now human Loona. This episode is full of callbacks.
The agents chained Blitzo and Moxxie’s tails XD
That interrogation scene was funny as I liked that we got to see that Moxxie is just as funny as Blitzo.
Blitzo: I know the shit your into. Moxxie’s eye widen XD
D.H.O.R.K.S.
Do none of these guys have guns ?
That was a nice moment with Millie and Loona as we haven’t seen them interact much before this point.
That “making them mad that they can’t think” plan was actually a smart move coming from Blitzo of all people.
Bitch Juice XD.
Blitzo finally got his answer XD
Its hilarious that the two cried because Blitzo lied about a musical of all things XD.
Huh I guess human drugs have a weird side effect on demons.
So this is why it took longer to make this episode.
This scene was really nice as along with subtle humor and references, we got to see Moxxie and Blitzo go through some development from Moxxie expressing his dislike of Blitzo treating him badly and will try to express himself more to Blitzo confronting how he is lonely and is afraid of being alone, yet pushes everyone away and seems to be doing it with Stolas given how he feels like Stolas is treating him like a prisoner.
Princess Moxxie, cause why not.
Was that 1 password scene a Team Fortress 2 reference ?
Blitzo asked Moxxie to call him by his name ! Nice to see the development is already paying off.
There is not much to say about the action scene besides how it was awesome while still being humorous and another explanation why this episode took longer to make, which was worth it.
After seeing Loona fight I wonder if this will mean Blitzo will allow her to go on jobs with the gang ? It would be an interesting idea for an episode as she could fill in for someone who is to sick or injured to work and they have to figure out a new way to work properly with this change.
Nice seeing more of Stolas’s power, and we even got to see his demon form.
Blitzo: How did you know we needed help ?
Stolas: I have my ways darling
AKA he was watching Stolas in the tub again XD
IDK about you but it was interesting seeing Stolas mad at Blitzo for a change.
Now Stolas states he is concerned about getting in trouble cause the imps are going to Earth, which we know is illegal, yet he isn’t worried about people knowing he likes Blitzo. What I mean is if people find out he, a demon that can open portals to the human world, is in a relationship with a guy who has a business killing people in the human world people are going to start putting things together.
Stolas can open portals without the aid of the book. Interesting yet curious as this is the first time this has happened.
Stolitz kiss ! Also it seems Blitzo has finally accepted his feelings for Stolas, fitting considering what he went through earlier.
With that footage of the demons, its looks like I.M.P. and Stolas will get in trouble really soon and I have a feeling its closer then we think.
Just like Blitzo, I think Stolas seems to be aware of the camera recording him. I wonder if he or someone else will get this footage deleted. This would be interesting as this could show that demons try to prevents humans from knowing they exist, as well as funny cause I can see a scene where the agents will try and play the footage to there higher ups but someone will quickly replace it at the last second and something else will play, embarrassing the agents.
Another great episode worthy of the wait what with the intense action scene, various animations used for Moxxie and Blitzo’s hallucinations, and the development the two got. The premise was also nice as we see that the imps actions caught up to them and after this I can see them doing more to play it safe in the future such as using the highly requested human forms.
I also see potential of seeing Agents One and Two returning as along with them using there newfound knowledge to fight demons I could see there being a plot line where they team up with C.H.E.R.U.B to take them down.
With 2 episodes left of season 1 it’s safe to say the next episode will be that ring of lust episode. Though I still think my predictions I posted in my mid season post for this episode will happen I could see some other things happening now after watching this episode.
Instead of making a deal with Blitzo, Blitzo willingly goes on a date with Stolas, wanting to give the relationship a try.
Asmodeous appears to confront Stolas about how him and the imps left evidence of there existence to the humans. I have this headcanon of Asmodeous being a tech wiz so maybe he could have taken care of the footage for them but punishes Stolas anyway either by revealing his affair or tells him about Blitzo and Verosika’s history/there recent kiss that occurred in the episode which breaks Stolas’s heart. I hope the later happens as I think the affair should be revealed in another season.
The episode ends on a cliffhanger of Striker sneaking up behind Stolas, leading to the finale.
What were your thoughts on the episode ?
#helluva boss#helluva boss blitzo#vivziepop#helluva boss moxxie#helluva boss millie#helluva boss loona#helluva boss stolas
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Blitz-Related Thoughts
That being said, this is NOT for Blitz fans and I guess not for Stolitz fans, either, since I’ll be touching on his relationship with Stolas down this post. Regardless, any fans of what I’m about to talk about, Blitz and Stolitz, you probably wanna pass on reading this. You all have been warned.
In any case, this is ultimately just me wanting to put down my thoughts because sometimes you just wanna let it out, especially where you would like people to have taken the time to check it out.
So Blitz is apparently a loved character amongst the fanbase. I at least read some fanfics that seriously. Then again, there’s bound to be plenty who don’t like him and I land hard in that camp. That’s probably why some of other people’s versions of Blitz is written in high regard. I even know a fanfic writer who really likes the guy and, not that it’s bad, I still enjoy reading their stuff, but I feel that their version of Blitz is better than canon Blitz. Like it’s not really Blitz, but someone else with the name, face, and backstory but not the same personality or something like that, thanks to their love for this character that I just do not have. Maybe, for the lack of a better way of saying this, but there’s versions of Blitz that’s nobler or kinder than the real Blitz
At the start, as in the pilot, it was like, okay, he’s an asshole but I tolerate this fine. I’ll just need to see how this goes. Then the first episode of the series proper comes on and I’m like, ‘what the fuck is with that threat at the end!?’. Then I tried reasoning that he’s a demon, he’s not supposed to be good. Except that’s probably trying to still like the show on my part.
Then the show went on and I grew to dislike him less and less and reasoning that he’s a demon doesn’t make his shit easier to stomach for me. Biggest offenders is the constant breaking ins despite how much Moxxie doesn’t like it, the verbal abuse and humiliations on the guy, even insulting his wife at times. Honestly, the fact that Moxxie’s MY favorite character and I’m mostly watching it for him by now doesn’t help with my feelings towards Blitz (although Unhappy Campers did have Moxxie be cringe-worthy as fuck, I can’t ignore that even if that was the whole point from the writers). But anyways, there’s ensuring that Verosika doesn’t let go of her grudge with his behavior all the while being pissed off that she hasn’t let it go, being way too lenient but also invasive with Loona and seemingly intending to rely on a young kid to pursue a fantasy of a wholesome family if the flashback in Seeing Stars is anything to go by, being rather hypocritical in being upset that Stolas just sees him as something to get off on. A means to an end, basically (I read a post saying all about how Blitz had the right to be upset with Stolas’s behavior, I fully agree with it, and I’ll get to Stolas in a bit but it’s still hypocritical on Blitz’s part thanks to The Circus)
I guess the difference is, despite knowing that I can’t hold Blitz to human standards because he’s not human, Vivienne still put qualities in him so that we can actually relate to him, right? We’re investing our time to watch new episodes so we need protagonists that you actually want to follow as they go about their journey. For anyone and everyone who likes Blitz, good for them, since I eventually learned that Blitz is one of the fucking stars of the show. But hey, at least Moxxie gets a good chunk of screentime so it’s not all that bad for me. (Granted, I would have liked Millie to get more screen time and they’ll answered with Unhappy Campers. Never bought into it much because I felt like the episode was written and cast in a way that made me feel like the writers wanted me to feel something. Like it was a cue for a certain emotion)
The writing for Blitz got so bad for me that he’s crying on the couch after being at Ozzie’s and I’m thinking ‘finally, he feels like shit'. Because yeah, it was obvious the writers wanted me to feel bad for Blitz only for it to completely fail me for me because he was such an unrepentant douchebag most of the time. I see Queen Bee and I still never gave a shit when he’s all ‘I’ll die alone’ when Loona takes him back to their apartment. And this is after seeing Exes and Oohs where I was finally starting to view Blitz as tolerable thanks to the flashback to when they first met. By the way, I was so happy to finally see why Moxxie never ditched Blitz as early as the start of season 1; I always knew there had to be a special reason and there was
My feelings for Blitz only go as far as wanting him to be better so that he can stop being such a fucking douchebag. Because yeah, people rarely ever get better on their own so they need people’s help and Blitz needs people who won’t abandon them (fuck, I pity them). But I’m incapable of looking at Blitz crying on the couch and think ‘poor thing, he deserves comfort’. I can never like someone who acts like a raging jerkass to those they claim is family. Being a jerkass to outsiders is one thing but to your own family? Nope. And I got no indication that Blitz wants to actually do anything about his problems. Just find new people - or even past people, if Barbie is any indication - to latch onto and be jerkasses towards them until they go away and rinse, repeat, and all that shit. If someone is in a cage and they can get out but don’t because it’s too hard, then it’s their own fault that they’re in the fucking cage. To put it another way, Blitz may not like dealing with feelings but if he really has to be dragged through the process kicking and screaming, then I’m eventually gonna stop caring that he’s tortured. Provided I still cared at this point
And speaking of Barbie, I read another post about how Blitz is just as much fault as her. (I think I have put likes on the two posts I mentioned so far, too, so maybe they’re easy enough to find if you can find my likes and go through them). Anyways, Blitz is just as bad and I couldn’t care that Barbie didn’t want anything to do with him because of two reasons. One, Blitz never cared about what Barbie wanted or needed, it was just him who mattered in the grand scheme of things. And two, I know shit about Barbie that I haven’t already found out like being an addict who has a history with rehab and having a rocky relationship with her brother at best. So I don’t feel as negatively strongly towards Barbie as I do towards Blitz, since the former has only a little over three minutes of screen time while I’ve followed the latter since the damn start of the show. That means I don’t really know how bad, exactly, Barbie is. I know shit about their shared past, too, so there’s that factor put into consideration
The thing is, I eventually wondered just what made Eustace from Courage the Cowardly Dog or Dan from Dan Vs. so different, since those are definite jerk characters. Yet the former I found tolerable and even funny at times and the latter I enjoyed every single second he was on screen. I think the difference is, with Eustace, the writers made sure he got as much shit as he gave. I guess there’s seeing his mom and brother, too, so there’s an understandable reason for Eustace being a jerkass. For Dan, there was something about the writing that I loved it every single second he was on screen. Maybe it’s because the world Dan lives in is so batshit insane that I can’t help but want to root for for a perpetually angry bastard. Even when he’s clearly not the good guy like wanting to blow up an animal shelter from across the street, there’s something about the writing and the acting that makes me love it. Plus, the situations are so crazy I want to know more about what can happen; seriously, I already came across cookie stealing ninjas and dental-themed supervillains and dancing zombie-like monsters and I love it all
So yeah, bottom line, repeating for clarity, the most concern I can give Blitz is wanting him to get better so that his current family will be better off. Otherwise, I can’t care if he’s just as awful towards family as he is towards anyone else and I can’t care about people who don’t actually try to help themselves, especially if it’s because they don’t want to deal with their problems and take literally any other method than the one that would work if it means avoiding the heart of the matter
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Helloo, it's me again. Your writings are awesome and I jsut can't seem to get enough. Can I please request a scenario where Loona's Jinsoul has a crush on reader and during her rehearsal with her group, Loona members just literally exposes her.
Jinsoul x Reader
Big fat crush
It's been a little less than a month since you met Jinsoul. You met her thanks to mutual friends and since that day you've seen each other two or three times on casual hangouts already. She was a nice friend, always caring and kind, someone that actually listens when you talk; it was nice having her around.
Today she invited you at her rehearsal since it was your meeting day of the week. She had things to do but didn't want to give up your Thursday's encounters. So here you were arriving at the concert place in the middle of the afternoon, feeling a little nervous if you had to be honest.
Meeting the eleven members and close friends of Jinsoul was quite stressful but you weren't too worried, after all you could be pretty social when you had to.
Anyway you didn't expect her members to be that friendly. When you arrived you sent a text to Jinsoul asking her to come get you because you didn't want to face her members alone but they all came greeting you, eager to know you.
"Hey, Y/N how are you?"
You blinked a few times before answering to Haseul that you were fine, quite shocked that she knew your full name. Of course Jinsoul must have been talking to her members about you since they live together but you didn't expect them to remember or even pay attention to what she was saying.
All of them introduced themselves one by one and you could now put faces on the stories Jinsoul told you.
"So are you guys ready for your concert ?"
You chuckled when Yeojin answered that she was born ready, receiving light taps from her older members.
"I'm pretty sure we're going to do well but you know, there's always some pressure."
You nooded at the very logical answer coming from Choerry.
Soon enough the girls had to go do sounds checks letting you alone with Jinsoul that had already did hers.
"Hey.."
"Are you really going to act shy now that your members are not with us anymore ?"
You laughed at Jinsoul shy behaviour and crazy eyebrows expressions before giving her a hug. You smiled at her once you stepped back, not noticing the way her cheeks turned red at your proximity.
Well maybe you didn't notice but Hyejoo was fast to point it out when she came back from sound check.
"Why are you blushing like a teenage girl ? You look like Gowon when I..."
"..When she gives me food !"
Gowon was fast to cut her secret girlfriend off sending her a terrific look. But of course Kim Lip had to step in with her perverted mind right at this moment. You truthfully didn't even have time to register the first segment.
" That's how people call it nowadays ? Wait ! Did I miss Jinsoul great finally ?! Oh chuu, you could have call me seriously guys.."
You tried to search for Jinsoul's eyes but she kept avoiding to make eye contact with you, making you unsure on what to believe or not.
"Did you call me ? Why are you disappointed ? Oh no don't tell me we miss Jinsoul's confession ? Was it great ? Did she kneel down to ask Y/N to be her girlfriend like in romantic movies ?" Chuu asked without breathing between each question.
Sooyoung approached, encircling her girlfriend's shoulder with one arm and listening carefully to what she was saying before presenting her fist to bump to Jinsoul.
"Well done bro."
"Oh no we missed it I told you we didn't have time to make out !"
Heejin's and Haseul's voices were heard respectively talking to Hyunjin and Vivi who exchanged a look before shrugging. You would have let out a chuckle if you weren't so lost at this moment. You tried to reach out to Jinsoul but she walked away before you could.
"Did we say something wrong ?"
You kept your eyes on Jinsoul's figure while answering Heejin's question.
"She didn't ask me out or confess yet, she was just blushing."
The members exchanged terrified looks, feeling guilty for the way they messed up. In sync they started saying all the good things they could about Jinsoul.
"She's always smiling so big when you text her, seriously it seems like her cheeks are about to rip off sometimes."
"She really loves you, she can't stop talking about you to the point where we practically know all about you."
"It's been days that she's been harassing us to have date ideas. I'm so sorry."
"Yesterday she repeated her confession speech so much that all of us know it by heart like poetry now."
They were all talking at the same time letting you hear only half of the informations.
Suddenly no one was speaking, curious about why you didn't bulge or say anything, your eyes still on Jinsoul. Vivi talked for the first time.
"Y/N, why are you not looking surprised by what we said ? You already knew didn't you ?"
"I figure it out a while ago. Jinsoul isn't exactly the best at hiding things and to be honest if she wasn't planning on confessing I would have been the one to do it anyway."
The girls were so happy to hear that you felt the same way about Jinsoul than what Jinsoul felt for you. They started squealing like crazy, getting Jinsoul's attention back to you. You noticed how even though she was kind of sulking she was looking out for you when she mumbled : "Are you okay ?".
You decided that it was time since her confession had been sabotaged, you had to do it. You nooded before mumbling an "I love you" almost imperceptible on your lips.
You saw how Jinsoul's eyebrows frown, not sure that she understood it right. You didn't have time for more charades so you walked to her.
"What did you say ? I didn't get it."
"Nevermind. Would you go on a date with me ?"
Jinsoul's blinked a few times before looking at you with arched brows. Asking you if you were serious.
"Thursday, 6pm ?"
The smile that took place on her face was the brightest you ever saw.
"I'd love that."
"Yeah I kind of guess."
She chuckled at your joke even though she was still a little angry at her members for being so bad at secrets.
However you spent your day looking at the girls rehearsal before Jinsoul led you to your car since you couldn't attend the concert.
Before you entered your car she hugged you tight, inhaling your scent to get courage before the show.
"What did you mumble first ?"
You chuckled at how she was trying to get what she wanted in exchange of a hug. You broke the hug and got in your car but before driving off you repeated it in the safe place of your car where she could only try to guess.
Heyy, thank youuu. Here is your request, hope you like it, don't forget to give feedback. I had fun writing crackheads loona exposing Jinsoul thanks 😂 and well you already know you can request again whenever you want. -Ael
#kpop girls#girl group#girlfriend#girl group reactions#girl group scenarios#loona yeojin#loona hyunjin#loonaverse#loona heejin#loona icons#loona gowon#loona reactions#loona scenarios#loona yyxy#loona yves#loona 1/3#loona odd eye circle#loona jinsoul#loona jiwoo#loona vivi#loona kim hyunjin#loona kim jungeun#loona kim lip#loona kim jiwoo#loona hyejoo#loona haseul#loona ha sooyoung#loona yerim#loona choi yerim#loona chuu
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The Heiress, & The Twelve. Act I.
Episode III: From, Eden.
Series: KPOP Girl Group: 이달의 소녀 (LOONA).
Pairing: OT12 & Mafia Heiress Female Reader.
Summary: After the weekend came closing in, the members took Y/N to Eden—a run-down castle in the middle of the woods that served as the hideout of the Twelve—where Haseul met up with them to deliver grave news about a Family from another city stirring a reputation in their own. As if things couldn't get any worse—the members made a mistake of taking their eyes off the Heiress for a moment, leaving Y/N faced with a stranger whom she couldn't identify if they were a friend, or foe.
You stirred awake at the sudden series of knocks that pounded aggressively against your door, making you groan against your pillow before turning to your side, expecting the sight of Heejin laying on her back with her mouth wide open as she slept peacefully next to you—or even Hyunjin sitting in the middle of their supposed-to-be shared bed meditating—only to be met by the complete absence of your two roommates, left with a tidied bed and “Jeon Stitchie” laid down next you instead. The sight was already odd enough as is, knowing that the two had barely given you enough room to breathe by yourself since the start of the week and for them to suddenly break the ongoing pattern had piqued your interest even at your drowsed state.
And how Jeon Stitchie was perfectly tucked under your blanket next to you, laying on his back just like how Heejin always did before Hyunjin walks through the doors—already in her uniform—to pull the blankets off of your sleeping figures with a roaring “Jeon Heejin, Y/L/N Y/N, stand by!” as if her life had depended on it.
You barely had time to reach the door before the lock clicked open—completely catching you off guard—and the door almost hitting you as it swung aggressively to hit the wall beside it, making you stumble back and grab ahold of your closet to stare at the familiar figure with a hand on the door handle that scanned your room with sharp eyes.
“Jiwoo-unnie, did you just—how did you even—you picked the lock on my door!” Jiwoo’s razor-sharp gaze landed on yours, the serious look on her face completely disappearing into a radiant smile that had seemed almost too ecstatic for such an early morning.
But it was Kim Jiwoo, there was never a day since you’ve met her that she was never not beaming.
“And it only took me ten seconds! I usually go for fifteen but I was worried because you didn’t sound like you were breathing—”
“You can hear me breathing from.. Behind my door..?” Jiwoo stared at you, completely puzzled for a moment before she smiled brightly yet again—as if what she said was completely normal, after all.
“Well, we’ll be downstairs once you’re done getting ready. We’re going somewhere really special, so.. Just get to it!” Jiwoo waved her hands dismissively, walking backwards as she continued to face you on the way to leave the room—and when she did, you could faintly hear her start mumbling to herself just before she shut the door behind her.
“Is it just me? I thought everyone can feel if someone’s not as responsive as they’re supposed to be behind a door?”
Standing there, as bewildered as you can get from the sudden events at such an early timeframe—you started to get ready to face the first weekend with the members. As you prepared yourself for the day, your mind recalled the notebook you’ve filled out since Heejin had told you to ask her whenever you had any questions about the family—so you did, staying up every single night with the older girl since then, resulting into Heejin completely dozing off in your bed so she just decided to invite herself over to just sleep in your bed ever since—with only minor details written in the pages about the family. Most of the notes written in them weren’t even about the family itself, but the role of each member in the group—their numbers, colors, animals—it was almost confusing why they had to be categorized in such a way but the more you learnt about them, with Heejin’s insight as well, you learnt just as much as the girl could provide.
But the main idea as to what exactly The Twelve stood for, and how they were hand picked by your Grandfather and raised under the same roof as he did awfully made sense. The reason for why he picked them was to form some sort of decoy system, in which if ever anyone would’ve have had any idea about the future boss of your family—the suspected child would’ve been within the Twelve, which would further conceal your identity and not have you connected with them until the day of his passing. Apparently that wasn’t all, because though the members were raised to play as an impostor—they were heavily trained in numerous trials in order to become full aces as individuals, where each girl can hold their own with almost no effort needed. You remembered how Heejin’s pondering look turned to face your stunned expression, to which the girl couldn’t help but laugh at before pointing back down to where you had stopped writing—stating that there was more to it but you’ll get to it after the class had finished.
And even as you slipped on a pair of jeans and a large sweater, with your eyes stuck on the blue stuffed alien on under your blankets—your mind wandered towards the sudden change in your reality at the unexpected impact of the Twelve girls whom were strategically planned to keep you safe since they were even barely of age.
The thought of taking away the members’ childhood just to cover up for your own, however..
You could almost hear Jiwoo’s furious voice piercing through your dejected state and all the other members trying brush off the emotion that had suddenly seemed to have come over you.
Sighing to yourself, you reached over to grab your phone from the dresser to find the notebook neatly placed on the surface next to it. You didn’t have to guess which one of the two had been the one to place it when you pulled the first page open—finding several pink sticky notes and a few yellow sticky notes that seemed to be arguing points throughout your notes, something that never seemed to have ended even in real life when Heejin would try her best to tell the story in the best way she could only for Hyunjin to completely dismiss it and retell the entire thing in the most suspenseful manner. If you could remember correctly, Jiwoo had called them “2jin” every time they pass by the three of you at the halls—spelling it out for you just before Heejin started to whine and Hyunjin telling the two of them to shut up.
“Y/N! Hurry up!” you heard Jungeun shout from downstairs, making you just grab your phone and walk out of your room to make your way down the stairs. You’ve managed to reach the kitchen just as Jungeun leaned back from the kitchen counter after handing Jinsol some sort of document, a stern expression set on the younger girl’s features before she looked up at you to only frown.
“About time, go eat and then we’ll leave.”
“Where are Heejin and Hyunjin?” you asked just as Jiwoo came skipping past you from the front door, holding a bunch of other documents to place in front of Jungeun and Jinsol with a small smile which stretched into a full beaming one when she watched you silently take the plastic wrapped plate of omelet fried rice that Sooyoung had prepared for you before she left in the morning—not bothering to heat it up in the over because Sooyoung’s cooking was just that good, warm or not.
“Ran some errands for Haseul-unnie, they’re most likely in Eden by now.” Jungeun answered, eyes continuing to scan the documents with Jinsol sipping on her mug as she peered over the girl’s shoulder. However, your eyes caught the sight of the older girl’s eyes lingering every few seconds on Jungeun’s side-profile which also didn’t seem to pass by easily from Jiwoo’s vision as she made eye contact with you, a huge grin set on her lips.
“Eden is your hideout, right? Exclusively The Twelve’s?” the three were left speechless, staring at you as you eyed each one of them from one girl to the other while shoving a spoonful of fried rice into your mouth and chewing thoughtfully.
“Who.. It was Heejin, wasn’t it?” Jinsol was the first to break the silence, to which caught you off guard at how the girl had even found it in herself to speak to you as you thought she despised her the entire time. The girl speaking to you was enough for you to know that it indeed wasn’t anything that had concerned you—her outburst from the first day—but only was her panic settling in. But the initiative wasn’t entirely enough confirmation that she couldn’t dislike you further if you replied with too much enthusiasm, so you only replied with a hum and a nod—shoving another spoonful in your mouth as you swallowed down the mouthful from earlier, “called it, that kid—really..”
“This saves us the trouble of having to explain everything to Y/N on our own though! Can you believe that my animal is a Penguin—Y/N? Oh—and that I became part of The Twelve because one of the goons cornered me while I was on the way home from school? I was so scared! But it was so fun because once I reached Mobius—they told me I was going to be part of something huge! I was nine!” you choked on your fried rice, making Jinsol instinctively hand you the mug in her hand to which you took gratefully, not minding that the contents were just milk as you gulped down the drink slowly.
“I don’t think Heejin told her how we became part of The Twelve though..” Jinsol pieced from your shaken state before she looked back at Jiwoo who just looked at you in confusion.
“Why not? I think my story was fun.”
“Jiwoo-unnie.. No. Just—no.” Jungeun finally fixed the documents in her hands, slipping them into the file folder before looking up at the three of you and breathing in deeply before shooting you a small smile.
“Let’s go? Jinsol-unnie’s driving us today.”
“Ooh! I’m so excited to see the kids—Hyejoo! Yerim! Yeojin!” Jiwoo started chanting as she left the kitchen with Jungeun tailing her with an already tired look on her face. Quickly wrapping the plastic cover over you half-finished meal, you placed it in the fridge before turning to also follow after them when you spotted Jinsol standing by the hallway with her eyes trained on her shoes—keeping her eyes on them as you passed by the dark haired girl with your head hung low, avoiding the downcast expression on the girl’s face as she followed behind you to her car.
Another time, perhaps.
It wasn’t as far as you’ve expected, in full honesty you didn’t expect to have seen a sudden clearing from the city as it connected with a highway that was surrounded by tall trees from the sides—a completely different scene from the usual tall skyscrapers, you were almost certain that you’ve been in most of the places in town but you’ve never been through this part of it at all. But as Jinsol continued to speed through the highway, with Jungeun’s eyes stuck on the scenery by her window and Jiwoo’s wiggling feet as she kept looking through everyone’s windows from her seat like an excited child—Jinsol turned the car off the road and past a clearing that seemed to well placed for it to even stand out as an entry point of some sort. The dark haired girl that had owned the blue muscle car stopped just in front of a tall, rustic black gate that was supported by a two chipped pillars that looked just about as ancient as it could get had you sitting up from your seat to stare out your window—your eyes making eye contact with a small-scale CCTV camera at the end of one of the pillars, something you could’ve easily missed if the lens didn’t move for a split-second for you to find it zooming right back at you.
“It’s Hyejoo, Y/N. I got out of Jungie’s car to do cartwheels for her once—but she opened the gate before I can even step out of the car ever since. She grows up so fast, it’s actually breaking my heart but,” Jiwoo leaned over to your console, scrambling to lower your window and practically get on top of you as you yelped, not having enough time to react when the girl smiled brightly at the camera and waved aggressively to it’s direction, “Son Hyejoo! We’re—” the older girl didn’t even have to speak further as the gates automatically pushed open, making Jinsol automatically drive through them and make Jiwoo stagger in your hold but not before the girl managed to throw a heart at the camera one last time before sitting back down on her seat with a contented smile as you shut your window through your state of shock.
“She’s never letting you even get a few feet closer to her once we get to the house.” Jungeun turned from her seat to tease the girl whom was beaming to herself just before her best friend’s comment, the animated girl’s eye twitched before she leaned over to the girl’s chair to menacingly threaten the girl into repeating what she just had said.
Jinsol pulled over at the front of the establishment—as much as a run-down castle as Heejin had explained to you about—and was the first to get out of the car to walk over to Kahei’s awaiting figure by the beginning of the steps with a bouncy Yerim running over to the dark haired girl to embrace the girl in greeting. You had stepped out of the vehicle to study the area that could almost indeed pass as a deserted location that was unkempt by the owner of the land with leaves on the pathway, the paint from the castle walls chipping off it’s frame, everything looked just as untouched as a hidden landmark that almost looked as if it were thousands of years old. The only thing that showed any signs of recent activity around the area were the light tire tracks on the pavement, warm-toned lights that peeked through the dark blue curtains, the perfectly trimmed bushes that were set around the front of the castle—and the fountain in the middle of the arrangement of bushes that oddly seemed to be clean, as if someone had took great care to not let it become a breeding ground for mosquitos or any other harmful insects.
“Y/N, stop ogling around and get inside. It’s getting cold out!” Jungeun called for you yet again, making you turn to look at the girls whom had seemed to have waited for you by the steps as you stood there next to Jinsol’s car in daze. Your face flushed as the five girls stared at you expectantly, and so you rushed to get meet them at the top of the stairs—with Yerim giggling and Kahei smiling warmly at you and your members before she pushed the doors open, for you to only gape at the thousands of paintings that had decorated the lobby luxuriously.
“It’s pretty cool, right?” a soft-spoken voice cut through the Opera music that had played through the halls, Park Chaewon whom had now seemed to have a faded shade of her mint colored hair from the last week smiled kindly at you. Greeting her members with a smile as well just as the girl with the dark aura who had always seemed to be by her side, Son Hyejoo, didn’t even dare hide the exasperated expression on her features as her eyes set on Jiwoo.
But you could tell she was just teasing when a smile broke through her irritated features as Jiwoo tackled her in her spot—the older girl squealed, squeezing the life out of the supposed “fed up” girl as she was caught in the tightest embrace that the older girl had always given her.
“Let’s get to the meeting hall, Haseul-unnie has an announcement to make.”
“What is it about?” Jinsol asked, turning to Kahei who had furrowed her brows in thought, looking up to your expectant look to only shrug.
“She never mentioned having any announcements until Sooyoungie came..” Chaewon led your group through the hallway, with Jiwoo and Yerim clinging onto Hyejoo's arms in front of you. Jinsol, Jungeun and Kahei followed silently from behind as your eyes scanned what seemed to be a never ending arrangement of paintings that hung on the walls—and to your right revealing an open glass-ceiling garden through the glass doors, a large apple tree rooted in the middle of the field with several sofa chairs by the corners and a few training equipment such as dummies here and there. You couldn't have missed the string lights that circled over the tree and its branches to spread over the ceiling—which had your mind reeling at how cozy the certain part of the castle would look like in the evening.
"Unnie, we're home!" Jiwoo announced just as you entered the meeting hall, finding two figures standing next to each other with a dark blue velvet chair between them as they leaned over several photographs on the black-tinted glass table with golden-painted legs. Haseul stood hunched over the documents with a calculating look on her face, with Sooyoung towering over the images with a distressed expression on her face as Heejin, Hyunjin, and Yeojin sat on their respective seats—all seemed to be arranged on each side of the long table by odds and evens, with the silhouette of their animal representatives delicately embroidered on the back of each chair, their colored gems playing as it's eyes for each one.
Haseul was the first to look up at you, a troubled yet small smile settling on her lips as she leaned back to eye your members whom had eased on their own seats, with you scanning the few chairs that had obviously belonged to a specific member.
"Y/N, this is your seat." Haseul placed a hand on the top of the seat next to her, looking over to Sooyoung who gathered the papers in her hand to flash you an apologetic smile—as if revealing that the announcement that Haseul was about to make would be yet another turning point for you. However, you decided to suck it up by swallowing the hesitation down your throat to make your way towards their end of the table, your eyes glancing over to the two members that would've sat closest to you—Hyunjin, whom had a distant look on her face and Heejin, who kept her eyes locked on the desk without any word—before nearing Haseul who had pulled the chair back for you as Sooyoung started to make her way over to her own chair with her head down.
"The boss has.. Arrived." Haseul dragged slowly once you've stood in front of the chair, your eyes snapping over to your members that had stood up from their seats as Haseul reached hers—seated right next to Heejin—just before the members bowed in sync, panic quickly settling inside of you at the sight of the Twelve suddenly aligned perfectly right in front of your eyes.
"Welcome to Eden, Twelfth Boss of the Y/L/N Family." the members greeted in chorus as you stood there with wide eyes, opening your mouth to say something but when nothing came out—Heejin slightly tilted her head to lock eyes with you, and with an encouraging look, you managed to face the awaiting members with a slightly determined look.
"Thank you, I—Um.. At.. Ease..?" your words seemed to have done its job when the members eased themselves back down on their seats, making you scramble to sit in yours but not before making direct eye contact with Jiwoo that seemed to be stifling a laugh—with Yerim in your view as well, who shot you an encouraging smile. Haseul then stood up from her seat, almost everyone's eyes looking up to the girl—with the exclusion of Hyunjin and Heejin—to listen to what the woman had called the meeting for, Haseul turning to scan all the members as if counting them before she nodded, turning to Sooyoung who had quickly walked over to he leader to hand her the documents from earlier.
"I've called for a meeting today—for this one announcement, something that.. We haven't encountered since the passing of Y/N's parents," Haseul laid out several photographs of young men in black suits, the images seemingly caught around town as a different man was seen holding a picture in hand, asking civilians if they could identify whatever—or whoever—it was they were looking for, "these were taken just three days ago, by our people. The idea was that these mystery men wanted nothing but to simply look for someone in the city but.." Haseul bit the inside of her cheek to eye Heejin carefully, looking up at you before pointing at one specific picture of a slim figure with sharp eyes and blank features.
"This man has been identified to be Jeon Wonwoo of the Lee Family, the same family that is subsidiary to.. The Jeon Family," it didn't take you a minute to figure out that it wasn't entirely coincidental that the last name was from one of your own, but finding Heejin's fists clenched from under the tinted glass was already proof enough of her ties to the mentioned Family, "We've only observed their patterns for the past three days, they've always sent different men each time but—I didn't think they'd send someone high-profile.."
"But we don't know that yet, Unnie! They could just be looking for a runaway member for all we know! Right..?" Yerim countered, looking over to Kahei who had now leaned back against her seat to tilt her head in thought. Haseul stared down at the photographs on the table before looking back to Kahei as well, eyes hesitant as she did.
"Vivi."
"I doubt that they're here for anything other than finding out how exactly we're running the Family without a real boss, they're here for Y/N and her alone. Heejin, however.." Kahei trailed off to glance at the rigid younger girl beside the Leader, her sharp gaze moving to you before she hummed as if she had finally come to a conclusion, "they wouldn't have banished her for them to start looking everywhere after, but the chances of it aren't high—not entirely non-existent as well."
Kahei turned back to stare at you again for a moment before nodding and looking up at Haseul’s calculating gaze, a firm expression set on the eldest girl’s features.
“They’re here for Y/N, but the plan goes with keeping Heejin and Hyunjin at the Mansion with you once they finally decide on a proper visit. Three days at most, they won’t stay here long unless.. They want something else.” your eyes kept moving from one member to another, your thumb brushing against the ring on your finger as you assessed the situation slowly.
“And that something else being..?” the members’ eyes snapped over to troubled look as Haseul slowly settled down on her seat, eyes stuck on the images on the desk with a pained expression as Jungeun tore her eyes away from you to rest her chin on her prepped knuckles on the glass—a pensive look on her face.
“They want to test us.” the members all sat in silence for a moment, avoiding each other’s gaze as they contemplated the sudden strained atmosphere at the announcement. However, the members looked composed as if they knew exactly which steps to take next if ever it had come down to it—but that didn’t entirely seem to reassure them, they’ve decided on what their move would be and now it was the opposing family’s turn.
It was then you realized that your arrival at Eden would be only kept brief for the moment, and after the meeting everyone would return back to their usual posts and continue as planned.
“I have suspicions that tomorrow would be the day their Family would pay us a visit, what I need from the six of you,” Haseul turned to look at Jungeun, Jiwoo, Chaewon, Yerim, Hyejoo, and Yeojin with a wary eyes, “is to double the security. Y/N is our main priority—but you are all suspects of their search as well.”
“Let Heejin stay with you, I can protect Y/N better if—”
“No, if they take Jeon with them.. They wouldn’t think our Heiress is there at all, the more uncertainty the better. You are staying with us, Hyunjin.” Hyunjin clenched her jaw at the finality of Haseul’s decision as the Leader then looked back to meet your distressed expression.
“Y/N, you’ll be left with the six and Jinsol nearby, you’ll be just as safe as you were since their arrival. Your job is to find the closest member you can if things get out of hand—if the members don’t find you first.”
“Worst case scenario..?” you questioned with a small voice as Haseul leaned back on her seat to stare at a dispirited Yeojin in front of her.
“Casualties, mostly civilians. We’ll be notified to evacuate you before anyone else.”
“Okay.” you answered shortly, staring down at the ring in your hand—slightly feeling the burn that had come with the title of your name. The members started to converse with themselves about how exactly they’d approach the situation, who had their schedules aligned with you—and if no one was close enough to you a member or two would lay down their class hours to make sure that you were within their sight. You spaced out for the rest of the meeting, only being snapped out of your daze when it was time for you to leave with Sooyoung as Haseul asked Jinsol to stay for a while longer. Sooyoung had an arm wrapped over your shoulders as soon as you had reached her by the entrance of the hall, your eyes locked with the image of Yeojin standing next to Haseul's chair as she spoke with her older sister.
As Sooyoung pulled out of the drive way with radio playing in the background as you rested your head against the window—something you've always done since Sooyoung had gotten the vehicle from her "part-time job" that had now been revealed to be a Mafia member—you reached over to jab a finger on Sooyoung’s shoulder without even looking at her. The older girl glanced at you from her seat, swatting your hand away before shaking her head and sighing at the realization that you were trying to grab her attention because this was actually the first time it's only been the two of you since the members had appeared in your living room.
"You're annoying." Sooyoung told you when you slipped your shoes off to pull your knees up to your chest, still leaning against your door as you kept your eyes locked on the scenery in front of you—with the comfortable silence taking over the car yet again.
"Since when?" your question broke through the silence, making her straighten on her back to glance at you before facing the road ahead of her. She took a few seconds before comprehending what exactly you meant by the question.
"Nine. I first heard your name when I was nine," Sooyoung started, drumming her fingers lightly against the wheel as she thought carefully at the speech she had planned since the beginning, letting out a heavy breath before continuing, "our parents were close—with my parents serving under your Family, just as my family did before them—but they were really close. It was your Mom that asked my parents to take you in if ever something happened." the older girl could feel your perceptive eyes locked on the side of her face as she kept her own locked on the view of the sun that had slowly set in front of you two.
“And when I reached the age of ten I was initiated into the Twelve, you’ve only been my sister for about four months since then.”
“You just accepted? Just like that?” you asked the older girl who’s lips broke into a small smile.
“It was hard not to say I didn’t want a little sister when you stood there by the boss—with my family and I standing in the middle of fifty-thousand men—looking so lost and completely unaware of where you’d be in a couple of years,” Sooyoung glanced over to you with a pained look on her face, “you were six, Y/N. Do you even remember what the Mansion even looked like?” you pursed your lips before shaking your head, finding it oddly concerning about not having any memories connected to the Family.
“I can vaguely remember their voices—my parents, but other than that.. I just brushed it off thinking that your parents were my own so..”
“Well technically, they are but.. They’re still your parents too, Y/N.” Sooyoung reassured you, something that tugged on your heartstrings before you snorted at the older girl but nodded in reply.
“But, Unnie,” the older girl hummed as you nibbled on your bottom lip in thought, eyeing the view from the windshield to collect your thoughts before looking back at Sooyoung, “I didn’t just.. Take away your childhood, right? The girls—Jiwoo-unnie was from that orphanage, Mobius, I didn’t—”
“Oh, no—Y/N, it’s nothing like that. The Y/L/N Family had been in partnership with their foundation for as long as I can remember, we don’t just take kids from that place. It just serves as an option for those kids who weren’t able to be adopted or—in Jiwoo’s case—if they were was exceptional. She knew what she was getting into, so she had matching last names with Jungeun.”
“But she said she was cornered?” Sooyoung broke into a short laugh, shaking her head before facing you with a full smile.
“She out-smarted fifteen goons on the way home from school, yes that was real. And like I said—she’s exceptional.” you tilted your head at the amused expression that remained on Sooyoung’s face as she turned back to the road ahead of you two. The image of a young Jiwoo swiftly sprinting through several alleys with fifteen goons scrambling to catch up to her was stuck in your mind, making you lean back on your chair with your eyes set on the ceiling of the car as you wondered about how the other girls had come to become a part of the Twelve.
And Sooyoung had just mentioned Jungeun—could it be that she was also from Mobius?
“Y/N,” Sooyoung called for you, making you tear your eyes away from the ceiling to look up at your older sister whom looked back at you with a somber expression on her features—the complete opposite of what she had just looked for only but a few moments ago, “I know there would be a time where you’d start to think that this is your fault—maybe you’ve already thought this through but I just want you to know that it isn’t. The boss—as selfish as his intentions may be—had always treated us more than children he’d pick up to hide his only grandchild, he treated us like an actual member of the family, Y/N. Your Grandfather was a great man, and.. Your parents were, as well.” you tore your eyes away from the older girl for her to only reach over and place a hand on top of your hand, where your ring sat as a reminder of who exactly you were.
“Haseul wasn’t lying about the Family’s values, your Family’s values. The only reason why we’re the strongest out there at this moment is because our people believe in us, they believe in the vision that your name brought and they would do anything to keep it alive. We’ll do everything to keep you alive to carry it on, Y/N,” Sooyoung’s hand tightened around yours as you kept your eyes locked on the window beside you, feeling her burning gaze as the car pulled into a halt by a stop light, “because you’re the only one that can maintain that peace, you’re the only person our people will willingly listen to because you have the blood of the bosses running in your veins. I know you’re a good kid too, Y/N. You’ll become just as great as they were, I just know it.”
“Everything still just—feels so new to me. I don’t know what to tell you, Unnie” you breathed, feeling Sooyoung’s hand loosen for a second before she sighed on her seat to pat your hand gently, pulling them away just as the light turned green. You then basked at the silence that had settled in the car yet again, but it was easily cut short when Sooyoung had reached over to pinch your arm and started to ask you how you’ve been since the members had acquainted themselves with you. The entire car ride consisted of you and Sooyoung catching up with the heavy details and the light ones as well, with the night quickly setting in and for the first time for an entire week you had your room all to yourself—with the bed next to you empty, but Jeon Stitchie still remained laying under the covers next to you.
“Ugh, I’m beat. See you later, Y/N!”
One of your classmates waved over to you as you jogged out of the field to find the nearest vending machine which stood by the entrance of the school. You groaned once you spotted the taped “out of order” sign on the glass, turning to make a beeline for the vending machine by the parking lot by the shed in front of the school—with only the idea of having a cold drink in hand after a strenuous day in PE. Pumping your fists to yourself when you’ve reached the machine, you dug through the pockets of your pants to find just about enough money to shove into the slot and acquire a cold beverage. Twisting the cap open and quickly taking in a few mouthfuls of the cold drink, you sighed to yourself as you stared at the machine in front of you gratefully before looking down at your drink in hand and sitting down on the empty bench next to the machine.
“Hello.”
Hey,
I took a break from writing since it was my brother’s birthday a few days ago, and I’ve experienced a short “writer’s block” which was honestly.. Infuriating. And for that, I am writing again and will be uploading Episode IV shortly because.. I can still see the imagery.
By the way, while I was gone we’ve hit 30..ish plus followers? I’d love to interact with you guys and ask you guys what you think but honestly, it’s just not my thing —interacting with my readers, I mean. The last time I had a writing account was back in 2014 if I remember correctly, and let’s just say a close friend of mine thought that it was alright to share it to everyone we meet lmao.
I’ve realized that the reason I find such things uncomfortable was because writing is something I hold close to me, it’s personal because I created this in my head—and for it to fall into the wrong hands is upsetting. And so I keep these things to myself, but I guess it’s just LOONA’s effect that got me back into this head space. But I love this group so much, it’s hard to keep everything at arms length when these girls make you want to reach out and open yourself up to the world.
Honestly the type of people you could only dream to be surrounded with, right?
Alright, this is Episode III’s author’s note. I guess if I were to start interacting with you all—the first thing I would ask is who’s your bias in this group.
Mine is Aeongie.
Laters,
JJ.
>ovc: loonatheworld (180613)
https://youtu.be/P7THoYMANxc
youtube
#loona#loona imagines#kpop#kpop imagines#heejin#hyunjin#haseul#yeojin#vivi#kim lip#jinsoul#choerry#yves#chuu#gowon#olivia hye#y/n#loona x reader#loona 1/3#loona odd eye circle#loona yyxy#alternate universe#long reads#series
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Sleepy’s Favorite K-Pop Songs of 2020
1. Any Song - Zico -- this song is not particularly special, but the main vibe, “play any song that makes you happy” is exactly how my musical tastes were in 2020, for the regular reasons we all faced AND for some extra, personal reasons that made me search out happier or deceptively happy songs, or songs that lay next to me instead of crawling under my skin. I usually love when a song sings my soul back to me, but there were many moments last year that I just couldn’t handle that, or couldn’t handle it the same way I usually would. Spotify says that Any Song was played the most of, well, any song, and I know why.
2. Midnight Train - Se So Neon -- this is a song that lay beside me, from the first time I heard it and every time after. It actually doesn’t have a ton of lyrics, but the ones it has are vibrating with intention and casual pain. There is ice on the tip of your tongue but it mellows as the guitar takes you out with the tide. Sometimes the melody is clashing so hard against your teeth you’re worried it’ll just swallow you whole, but instead it falls like a heavy rain, washing everything clean. Please, please listen to this song.
3. Scream - Dreamcatcher -- they have never released a bad song, and I actually love their entire discography. It’s one of the few that I do listen to just by itself, no other artists. Dreamcatcher have never been afraid to be brash and in your face, nor do they shy away from saying how it is. There is an open wound inside this song, and your heartbeat is so loud in your ears. The lyrics are intense, the instrumentals are intense, the performances in the vocals are fire and wine and steel. I love it.
4. Can’t You See Me? - TXT -- I really loved Run Away in 2019, which for a debut year was jam packed with content. TXT has this wonderful take on youth and maturity and being real about your emotions. Their voices are soft and sweet, even while this song is talking about the disparity between reality and dreams, truth and lies. Every part of the song captures my attention, I don’t think it has any weak points, and I always picture the MV. Strawberries will never be the same. This song did sing my soul to me a little, but even though the sound was visceral it never cut through bone. It was gentle and kind, and held my hand.
5. Close - Han (Stray Kids) -- I did not expect that this little song would end up meaning so much to me, but it did. Stray Kids had an amazing year as always, but I guess my love for Han’s singing and his lyricism just got me. Han has a way of just pulling back all the weeds surrounding my feelings, but not tugging them straight out. He’s patient with the dandelions and doesn’t insist on clarity right away. This song got closer and closer to me the more I listened to it, until it was stuck in my head and I was never mad about it. There are blue skies and sunshine and someone is waiting for me, ready to smile when I turn around.
6. Back Door - Stray Kids -- the production behind SKZ’s music does continually get better, but I think the more appropriate term is “expands.” Their sound remains largely the same, while each new release tries something new, echoes the old, and continues to push the same message they’ve had since the beginning: inclusivity. Stray Kids is here for you, to welcome you into the club and to have a good time with you while we talk about the struggles we’re all facing. I haven’t yet gotten sick of this song, it goes by in a flash and for once, I don’t have a favorite part, or a section that gets stuck in my head more than others. It’s the whole package for me.
7. Kick It - NCT 127 -- NCT makes a lot of very clean, very specific sounding sounds that I don’t really care for. I have a few favorites, and actually really love the whole of the debut album, but I don’t go out of my way to listen to their music. Kick It, though, was just so much fun, it had sharp edges and and a smooth underbelly. Haechan sounds the best, I love his voice SO MUCH, but everyone sounds good. I like the unison parts, the repeat mantras, the bombastic way the lyrics aren’t really saying a lot but are so enthusiastic that you don’t care.
8. eight - IU, SUGA -- IU just continues to evolve and make music that is really, really good. None of her songs are overly complex or visionary, but they are friendly and relevant, and sit outside your door with brownies and lemonade. IU’s voice can do soft, can do poignant, can do intense, depending on her mood. She is a singer of extraordinary caliber and I love seeing everything she does next. eight was a simple but beautiful song that plays into your nostalgia without sugar-coating everything, and at the same time there’s such a lightness too it. It’s a short song and SUGA’s rap was such an unexpected addition that actually worked really well.
9. So What - LOONA -- this is a song deserving of a much higher spot, but I think I just wasn’t quite as ready for LOONA’s next evolution as others’. Still, this song is so good, with potentially the best bridge of the entire year. Everyone sounds so good, the song hypes you up and never lets you down. Even though the concept is one we’ve seen before, LOONA never makes anything sound the same. There is no compromise, there is only awesomeness.
10. ON - BTS -- I went around in circles contemplating how much I did or didn’t like this song. BTS is going places with their music that I don’t love as much as their stuff from, say 2016-18, but they are still incredible artists and performers. And ignoring all the rest, all the talk, just focusing on the song itself, it’s really good. It’s really, really good and the kind of song that I unapologetically sing really loudly in the car. There are quieter parts that acknowledge how exhausting it is to keep moving forward when you’re in pain, strong, jagged tantrums that demand that the pain try harder to keep you down, spaces to breath and places to run. This is a song that says we’re going through a battle and it’s hard, but we can see that there is an end, there is hope, and nothing will keep us down. Even through pain and tears, we can go on.
And now things get a little funky because I had a lot of favorites:
11. Tiger Eyes - Ryu Su Jeong Girls - Nature Villain - Stella Jang Boca - Dreamcatcher Left & Right - Seventeen
12. Come Back Home - ONEUS Summer Breeze - SF9 Apple - GFriend Bon Voyage - YooA pporappippam - Sunmi
13. Me Time - Yubin Easy - Stray Kids Favorite Boys - A.C.E Think of Dawn - Ghost9 The Stealer - The Boyz
14. One - Golden Child Alien - Lee Suhyun A Song Written Easily - ONEUS La Di Da - Everglow Blue Hour - TXT
15. Breath - GOT7 Hands Up - Cherry Bullet Answer/Inception - ATEEZ 90′s Love - NCT U End of Spring - ONEWE
#sleepy listens to things#kpop#kpop 2020#zico#bts#txt#loona#stray kids#iu#the boyz#golden child#oneus#nct#nct 127#seventeen#dreamcatcher#ateez#sf9
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Interview tag!
Tagged by @thedeviousdo - thank you 🌟
Rules: answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better!
Name/Nickname: ayra (my nicknames are dumb im not letting myself get boollied)
Pronouns: she/her
Star sign: leo (i know 🙄)
Height: 5′5″ ish? 167cm i think.
Time currently: 22:30
When is your birthday: august 2nd
Favourite bands/groups: in terms of groups: exo, loona, red velvet, twice. bands: vampire weekend, the internet, machine girl (also cigarettes after sex i’ve been listening to them a lot for the past few days)
Favourite solo artists: oh god let me think. tyler the creator. tame impala. lone. khalid. megan thee stallion. a bunch of lofi artists like j^p^n and eevee and jinsang and kudasaibeats. idk this is hard and im trying to do it off the top of my head. childish gambino. the exo solo stuff obviously. doja cat. frank ocean. daniel caesar. mitski 😀. joji. jongdae (i know i already said exo solo stuff but he deserves his own mention). (i feel like this is not at all representative of what i actually listen to 😀 im always listening to music but the second i get asked about what i listen to im like 🧍🏽♀️)
Song stuck in your head: streets by doja cat thanks tiktok
Last movie watched: watched the peanut butter falcon on netflix party with my sister over the weekend
Last show you binged: currently making my way through it’s always sunny
When you created your blog: summer 2017 either late june or early july.
Last thing you googled: progressive familial intrahepatic cholestasis (i was just studying)
Other blogs: not exposing them 😀 i only have 2 side-blogs i use now and one is semi-active and the other i use to interact with my irls
Why you chose your url: kim junmyeon enlistment rotted my brain <3 ... okay no but well what can i say i’m a fan of bald heads and junmyeon just has a really nice one (im still upset about not getting a bald selfie but it’s fine)
Do you get asks: nope i haven’t for a while but it’s always nice when i do (trans: send me asks and we’ll get married)
How many people are you following: apparently 239? tbh i need to follow more blogs because a lot of those are inactive
How many followers do you have: not a lot but still way too many for my blog
Average hours of sleep: we’re in lockdown number three. at this point who knows. there is no average. i either sleep for 14 hours straight or 3.5 hours. sometimes i take a short power nap and wake up in another dimension. what is a good night’s sleep? what is a night of sleep that makes me feel good? what does it mean to be well rested? all very good questions.
Lucky number: uhhh i don’t really think i have one BUT i can tell you that i see 2, 12, 20, 21, 22 ALL the time (the angels have been doing this to me for months now) and i was born on the second of the month so i think i gravitate towards numbers with twos.
Instruments: i played the violin for like 6 years back in school but i quit because my failing mental health couldn’t take being shamed by my mean violin teacher anymore.
What I'm currently wearing: black sweatpants and a black turtleneck ( what a lesbian i know 🙄) under a VERY bright blue jumper from the depths of my wardrobe because i ran out of clothes. my socks are cute though they say “start the day with a cup of positivitea” with a picture of a cute lil mug very nice.
Dream job: serving my future wife and taking care of our lovely little cottage and the woods around it 👰🏽🤤 or i mean taking care of people since i guess that’s what my degree is setting me up for 🙄 lately i can’t stop thinking about how cool it would be to be an astronaut but then i remember they have to train super hard and be healthy and i slightly blackout every time i stand up.. whatever i mean i would be too swag for nasa anyway...
Dream trip: thailand (i was supposed to go last summer </3)
Favourite food: potatoes in all forms. nd also thai food 🤤
Favourite song: ehhhh i can’t pick one of my favourite songs of all time but my favourite song today is “i don’t like it like this” by the radio dept.
Top three fictional universes you'd like to live in: the wii sports resort universe on the little island or whatever, the hunger games just to befriend peeta and/or be a capitol freak, whatever universe lara croft from tomb raider legend lives in 🤤 im she’s 😍
I will tag @littlechefsoo @abunnycotton @exo-saranghaha @kimjuncottons @xiuminscheeks @yixing-zhang @laytus @untouchabyeolman @bootyful-exo and anyone else who wants to do it - feel free to ignore!
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Homecoming
Tonight was certainly not in my favor for the most part. To bring you up to speed, it was homecoming night for my younger brother, along with his friends, and I was an unpaid chauffeur for them. Whether I said yes or no to my mom, which the latter would result in a scolding, I would still be driving, whether I liked it or not. I had plans to meet up with someone tonight and now, unfortunately, I had to cancel those plans. Wonderful. So much for treating myself. Saying yes to avoid any conflict between my mother and I, I was driving my brother and his group of boys and girls, one of them most likely his significant other, to the nearby high school, the same one where I graduated from, but I don’t think any of that really mattered. Sure, there were going to be people there that recognized me, but it’s not like I planned on going inside to dance or mingle. Don’t get me wrong, I was gussied up for the occasion, but with how tonight was already progressing, going inside to try and get into the groove was not on my agenda. Little did I know that I was going to be completely wrong.
We were nearing the school as I was in the driver’s seat and I focused on the road as best I could, overhearing the conversation in the back amongst the group of seniors about how my brother was probably going to get laid or something, followed by a roar of laughter. While he was of age, as am I, I didn’t think I would be hit with a strong dose of discomfort hearing those words coming out of their mouths. Yeah, they were in high school so it made sense for them to say stuff like that. Already I began to question this night before my thoughts started to shift towards a particular someone that made my smile return after it had been gone for hours. A demon, or imp rather, down in hell that no one knew, except for a few of my closest friends who I knew could definitely keep a secret, had my heart and more. My smile remained small, but it was genuine, a chuckle eliciting from me as I continued to drive and within seconds of starting to think about him, I noticed my phone vibrating in the front passenger seat out of the corner of my eye. Look, I am, and I quote from one of my favorite content creators, a “good fucking citizen” and I would never risk my life or others because of a single text message. However, this wasn’t a single text. Whoever was trying to reach me was literally trying to nuke my phone for I counted the vibrations from listening closely to them. I didn’t bother picking up my phone so I just counted. 1...2...3...4...5...not even five minutes and I’ve somehow counted 23 and rising text messages being sent to my phone. Was it that urgent or was someone just spamming me with nonsense because I can’t remember the last time I was spammed like that and my memory is on point, not to brag or anything.
Upon pulling into one of the many parking lots of the high school, my brother and his friends began unbuckling themselves from their seats and after setting the SUV into “park”, they all got out one by one, on both sides, putting on their masks. I forgot to mention that this homecoming had a theme, which was “Monster Mash”, so zombies, mummies, your usual batch of monsters from all types of media of course, along with the special monsters that only one or two people only knew and were ready to discuss and talk about at a moment’s notice. As much as I wanted to sit in the car, I knew I was going to have to go in at some point, so earlier today, I decided I was going as a werewolf, picking up a fitting mask from the city’s costume store, but instead of just having a mask and calling it a day, it evolved into something more homemade. I spent several extra hours turning my tux into a more fitting and lycanthrope-themed outfit, dark fur lining the edges and front of my suit, outfitting myself with wolf ears and covering my face in blood to represent claw marks. Thankfully, I remembered that I had an old wolf tail, cleaning it up and hoping that the appearance was pleasing to the eye in some way and to my surprise, it certainly was. Not like anyone was going to care honestly, but you know, what’s wrong with a little bit of effort, even if no one’s going to notice?
“You’re not coming?” My brother questioned as he reached for his mask and was about to head inside with the others, earning a shake of my head as a response.
“We’ll see, you go have fun, okay?” I said, seeing him run off back to this squad and closing the car door as I rested my head on the back of my seat and sigh heavily. Finally, no one could hear or see me cry, the lights on the inside roof of the car beginning to slowly dim, shutting off completely and leaving me in darkness. “Fuck.” I whispered, trying not to choke on my tears thanks to the numerous thoughts clouding my head, many of them were memories of my high school days and how they all just generally sucked. I’m going to spare you of the details, but in short, I was a teacher’s pet who did good, had good grades, and tried so hard not to get caught up in a relationship since, well, at the time I wasn’t into anyone and nor was anyone into me. Looking back at it, I’ve never been hit with an intense pain in my life. But then, my thoughts were interrupted by another vibration. “Alright, who’s trying to nuke my phone?” I told myself as I reached over and grabbed my phone in frustration, turning the screen on and discovering that the imp himself had been sending me a flood of messages, alongside his employees, including the hellhound. “Wait, what?” I was stunned, why was I getting all these messages from I.M.P? Unlocking my phone and going through the wave of texts and images, most of them being from Blitzo, I checked the ones belonging to Millie, Loona, and Moxxie first, working my way up from there.
Millie “Hey Eli!” “Just wanted to say that I hope tonight is great for you and Blitzo!” “He has a really big surprise for you!” “Have fun you two!”
Loona “Elijah” “Heard ya weren’t feeling great” “Shit sucks but Blitz has a surprise for you later tonight” “Ain’t saying shit, but I hope you have fun” “You deserve it, alright?”
Moxxie “Dear Elijah, I certainly hope your night is swell. I overheard from my boss that it wasn’t going as planned and not to spoil anything, but he has a surprise for you later tonight. Have fun!” “p. s it’ll be a nice break from him interfering with my relationship with Millie.”
And now, all that there was left to check was Blitzo, I didn’t bother holding back my tears. Who was going to watch? Most of his texts were pictures of him looking for an outfit, getting help from a smiling Millie, annoyed Moxxie, and a Loona who looked like she didn’t really care. That’s what the realization hit me soon after. I didn’t want to believe it, but I looked through every single text again and yeah, sure enough, it was real. The imp was my date. Blitzo was my homecoming date. Another text, the last one from Blitzo for the night it seemed, sounding ominous of course.
“See ya soon, Eli. XOXO”
My smile returned once again as I regained my thoughts, clearing my head and doing my best to ignore all the negative and previous ones that arrived earlier tonight, replacing all of them with one: the fact that the imp that nearly killed me by accident was my homecoming date. The two of us have talked and spent a lot of time together, but who would’ve thought that he would be the one I would fall for and make my better in a way like this? Yeah, I was into him the most out of everyone at I.M.P. Of course, Millie and Moxxie were married and Loona, I’ll be honest, she was someone who appeared that she wasn’t too keen on dating. Blitzo, on the other hand, ever since the two of us met with him pounced over my body with a double barrel shotgun aimed directly at my face, we’re never been closer. That story about how we met is a real doozy, but it’s certainly for another time.
After waiting a little longer, I finally left the vehicle and locked the doors, stuffing the keys in my pocket and trading it for my phone, holding the mask in my other hand, my body on fire at the constant, recurring thought that wasn’t leaving anytime soon, one that pushed all the others away, a splendid thought that was the only thing I could think of. Before I knew it, I was at the front doors of the school and I followed the couples and groups, most likely students, towards the gym, looking at my phone and expecting a text, but instead, just silence. I guess all I needed to do was wait for him, and that’s what I did as I was greeted with the sound of deep bass rumbling through my body thanks to the booming speakers, along with the bright spotlights that moved around at a rapid pace, mixed with multiple multicolored strobe lights. It was a party alright. With the song that was playing as well, it was a fitting one with the theme. And lost in this party, I assumed, was a neatly dressed imp waiting for me. I walked along the edge of the gym, avoiding the growing crowd of dancers and hoping to possibly run into Blitzo at some point, only to be stopped by, unsurprisingly, one of my high school teachers.
“Elijah, is that you? Hey kid, what brings you here?!” She asked, leaning against the wall with a drink, a red cup, yes a red cup, and wrapped in a mummy outfit, bandages covering her body, along with one eye while the other was perfectly visible.
“Just chaperoning for my brother and his friends.” I answered, which was half the truth, but how could I explain that I was waiting for my demonic plus one?
“For a chaperone, you fit in right with the crowd, nice outfit! Did you make it yourself?”
“Yeah, I did actually.”
“I always knew you were one of the more creative ones in the class and it shows, awesome job!” I found myself getting blushy rather quickly at her compliment, rubbing the back of my head as I continued the conversation and it soon turned into one where my heart began to race rapidly. “So, tell me, do you have a date?” I wanted to lie, but then again, I was unsure of Blitzo was my date, or even if I wanted to say he was to others, so I took a deep breath and tried to make up my mind quickly.
“Yeah, I do, he’s a bit late though, it might be a while before he gets here.”
“Who said I was late?” The imp said, grabbing ahold of my shoulder gently and wanting me to turn around so I did, my eyes meeting his and I could see that his were that wickedly bright yellow, with a hint of red in the middle. Sinister, but always a joy to look at. “Hey, cutie.” I was about to open my mouth to compliment his outfit, resembling Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas, from top to bottom, only for my teacher to butt in. This was going to be a joy.
“Oooooh, and who might this be, Elijah?! He must learn from the best because his costume’s amazing!” This was going to be a real interesting night. I was already contemplating on going back to the car.
“The name’s Blitzo, pronounced Blitz and the O is silent, also known as this handsome guy’s boyfriend.” He said, greeting himself to-
...HOLD UP, WAIT A MINUTE. Did he just say boyfriend? Was I hearing that correctly? I wasn’t crazy, right?
“The name’s Blitzo, the O is silent, also known as this handsome guy’s boyfriend.” He said, greeting himself to-wait a minute, did he just say boyfriend? Did I hear that correctly? I wasn’t crazy, right?
“Well, Blitzo, it was really nice to meet you. Elijah was, and still is, one of my best students, creative too, you’re a lucky one.”
“Oh, trust me,” He looked over at me, a look that read ‘I love you’, his eyes appearing as if he was going to cry, but his smile was wide. “I know.” He was being completely truthful with her and myself. Not a single word he said was a lie, at least that’s what I believed. Something told me that it was true, every single word was honest and straight from the heart. “Let’s go dance, yeah?” He said softly towards me, earning a soft nod in reply and so, the two of us made our way to the dance floor. I was so nervous to ask him a single question with a plentiful rushing through my head. “Shocked, huh? Don’t be, Elijah. I know the two of us have been together for some time and I may have heard from a little birdie that you were going to be helping out your brother for some dance.” I reminisced on when I remember talking about the homecoming dance and then it hit me.
“Damn it, Angel.”
“C’mon, you missed me. You’re glad she told me too.”
“Yeah, I did. But, like, didn’t you have some more important stuff, like work? And your horse to take care of?”
“Oh, don’t worry. Work’s slow and boring and Moxxie’s watching over her so, I’m free for the night! What better way to spend my night with my new boyfriend too?” He said, pressing his lips against my cheek and sending my heart sky high, my hand on his beginning to clench. “Easy cowboy, it was just a kiss. We haven’t even gotten to the good stuff, you know.” Okay, now he was just trying to get me flustered really early. We made jokes about that stuff, but was he being serious? About all of this?
“I was actually going to ask about that. Do you, like, you’re actually interested in me, right?” He stopped in his tracks and the two of us were halted together, surrounded by multiple dancing groups and couples, I could sense the music that was once pounding in my ears beginning to die out, soon Blitzo’s voice was the only thing I could hear. “All those times we’ve been together, from the day you were in my bed ready to kill me and only to discover you were in the wrong house to all those times we’ve spent in Hell and on the surface, to that one time you were actually full-on naked in my bed and I was nearly caught, you’re being honest with me, right?”
“Elijah,” Blitzo began, reaching for my other hand to hold it tight, gazing into my eyes and I soon lost myself in them, my focus and attention being grabbed and held by him and him alone. “I’m being one hundred percent honest with you. If I killed you, I would’ve missed a chance like this and, god fucking dammit, I’m trying not to cry here.”
“Trust me, I’ve already done that tonight, you’re good.” I joked, the two of us laughing as his claw-like hands gripped mine.
“But yeah, I’m serious. From the bottom of my heart, Elijah. No bullshit. I love you. Yeah, you’re a human and I nearly killed you, but that night I met you and nearly blew your brains out, was probably the fucking day of my whole eternal suffering, as they usually say. That’s, that’s what they say, right?” Hearing that filled my heart with an intense amount of joy and soon, I felt my worries wash away. Who would’ve thought that I would not only fall in love with a demon below the surface of this Earth, but an imp who was not only charming, but skilled at his profession? A professional that was basically assassination. Then again, he just straight up kills anyone he’s paid to kill alongside the other three. “You can cry all you want, okay?” I didn’t want to, especially in front of Blitzo.
“Oh, shut up. I love you too.” I said, earning a nice laugh from him. Moments later, the music shifted from the usual extremely bumping and loud beat into something more mellow, but you could still dance to. A song that people weren’t really a fan of, but for me, and surprisingly Blitzo, it was perfect. To my surprise, the imp knew the damn lyrics.
Oh, don’t you dare look back Just keep your eyes on me. I said, you’re holding back. He said, shut up and dance with me! This demon is my destiny. He said, ooh-ooh-hoo! Shut up and dance with me!
The two of us followed suit and already had the floor so who was gonna stop us? No one was certainly going to stop Blitzo and for me, I was already lost in the moment, I could only see Blitzo and I losing ourselves in the music together, singing and dancing along. No distractions or disturbances as we let loose. Unbeknownst to me, the crowd around us had cleared and it was just me and Blitzo dancing to the beat with a silent audience cheering on a human and his boyfriend, unaware that he was truly a demon. I didn’t care about any of that mess now, I was overjoyed to be dancing with my imp boyfriend under the moving spotlight, the two of us grabbing the attention of all the other costumed people standing by and watching us. It didn’t even feel like they were there.
Deep in his eyes I think I see the future I realize this is my last chance! He took my arm I don’t know how it happened We took the floor and he said…
Oh, don’t you dare look back Just keep your eyes on me I said, you’re holding back He said, shut up and dance with me This demon is my destiny He said, ooh-ooh-hoo! Shut up and dance!
The final chorus continued to play and the two of us were going at it, I could sense and hear quiet cheers and wolf whistles, yet Blitzo’s voice filled my ears and drowned it all out.
Ooh-hoo, shut up and dance with me!
And just like that, the music halted and the two of us were in a bit of a position, me dipping and holding his body down, our eyes locked onto each other, the crowd coming back to life with a roar of an applause. They witnessed everything and as much as I wanted to look around and see everyone, Blitzo kept my face looking directly at his. “Hey, don’t focus on them. It’s okay.” I smiled down at him and nodded, the music shifting back into something more exciting and full of life and sending the crowd’s back onto the floor.
“I didn’t know you were so good at dancing, Blitzo.” I said, complimenting him on his dancing and wondering where he picked that up, then again, it hit me that he’s been bugging a married couple for Satan knows how long, and he’s been on the surface a few times.
“You go around, you know some folks, you pick up some new things, learn a few tricks.” There was a small moment of silence. “Alright, I picked it up from Moxx and Mills.” I had a feeling. Right as I was about to say something while bringing back up onto his feet, I was the one to be dipped this time and caught off guard. “Now pucker up, cutie~” And with that, Blitzo kissed me sweetly and passionately, my vision getting blurry as my eyes fluttered and my heart was more soothed and relaxed. I will admit that Blitzo has kissed me on numerous occasions, but this was something he never pulled or did and it was immensely surprisingly and completely satisfying. I didn’t want to ruin the moment at all. In fact, I wanted to make it even better. So I decided to surprise Blitzo with something up my sleeve, slipping my tongue into his mouth and catching him off guard, only for our tongues to collide and intertwine with each other, his claws yanking and gripping me closer to his body, our lips still locked together for a good couple of seconds and right as we finally pulled away, there was an embarrassing amount of saliva attached to my lips and his, a dark blush hitting both our faces. “Well, that was, I wasn’t expecting you to do that.”
“Yeah, wasn’t expecting that kiss either, heh.” The silence between us was high but was soon broken with Blitzo speaking up again.
“Alright, I’m just gonna say it. I know you’re probably thinking it too, are you going to make love to me already or what?” My eyes widened in surprise, my body heating up in response and while I was expecting a lewd comment or question, he was just completely straightforward with it, no hints, or riddles, just straight from the head.
“C-Can we go to the car now, like, right now?” I asked, hoping he could sense the desperateness in my voice, along with the look of lust in my eyes. Yeah, he definitely saw it, without a doubt. That smile of his, how he licked his lips in front of me, shooting a sexy glare at me, tonight was going to be a ride, in more ways than one as Blitzo swiftly picked me up in his arms and carried me towards the car bridal-style, grabbing a few eyeballs as he did.
“Of course~” We soon made our way outside and Blitzo finally set me down, not even bothering to look around if there were any watchers who were late to the party, as if he were planning something.
“Something wrong?” He didn’t reply with a vocal answer, but instead, what came next was what made this entire night probably the best homecoming ever. I’m going to spare the details, but what came next was pretty saucy.
Sometime Later…
I found myself rising out of bed to the sight of several dimmed lights and within seconds, the awareness hit me hard. I wasn’t at home. I was in Blitzo’s home. “Morning, sleepyhead.” The imp to my side greeted, not wearing anything like me as I hid myself under the sheets. I half-expected him to be dressed in some cute horse-themed pjs, but no, he was full-on naked under the sheets, his legs touching mine.
“Hey, Blitzo. I, umm, should I ask how I got here?” I questioned, preparing myself for the story that Blitzo had to tell, this should be good.
“Before you ask, because I have a feeling that’s the first thing you’re thinking about, your brother and his friends are fine. They got home safely and then I brought you down here to rest!” Blitzo explained, my eyes widening in fear at the idea of what he could’ve possibly done.
“For the love of God, Blitzo, please tell me the car’s in one piece. Please tell me no one got hurt.” I begged, shaking in anticipation, and not even hearing the room door open as I turned to see Moxxie come in.
“Actually, I helped drive,” The other imp claimed. “Not to be rude towards your new boyfriend, Elijah, but I had a very strong feeling that if my boss were to drive, it wouldn’t be pleasant. That and he introduced himself and the rest of us to your brother and friends.” Blitzo, you did not. You did fucking not.
“What, they were nice!”
“Sir, excuse my language, but you fucking scared them!” When Moxxie said those words, I didn’t even want to imagine how he scared and possibly scared them for life.
“Oh my God, Blitzo, why…”
“Don’t worry about it, Eli, you’re lucky I didn’t tell them about our little love-making session.”
“Sir, that’s WAY too much information.”
I didn’t know how to feel exactly with my brother knowing about Blitzo and the others, but as the conversation between him and Moxxie continued, I couldn’t help but think about that night, what I experienced with Blitzo and the things we did together, how he confessed his love and then made love to me. It felt unreal to think about knowing that the imp I spent the most time with actually liked me that way. That’s when I smiled and felt really glad that night ended up being in my favor.
#star's notebook#otp: satisfied client#I LEFT OUT THE SMUT#I'LL SHARE THAT LATER#THERE IS SOME SUGGESTIVE STUFF BUT I WILL TAG IT AS#ns//ft#ALSO ITS A LONG ONE#WITH THE SMUT ITS LIKE 5K WORDS#I DIDN'T THINK I WROTE THAT MUCH BUT DAMN#I ALSO GOT A BIT EXCITED GOING THROUGH THIS AND PROOFREADING IT#THERE MAY BE A COUPLE OF ERRORS AND IM SORRY#blitzo#helluva boss#self ship fic
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