#and i got to do it four times 😭
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Fontaines D.C. - I Love You (Live at Red Rocks)
#😭😭😭#I WAS THERE#thank u fontaines dc for actually sharing your footage#this is mostly night two's performance but i think the crowd shots are from night one#bc there are parts where u would def be able to see us if it was night two#i don't see the excited lady in the fontaines tshirt either#ANYWAY#this is definitely going to be my most played song on spotify wrapped lol i've been listening obsessively for a year#i was so excited to yell#'I LOVED YOU LIKE A PENNY LOVES A POCKET OF A PRIEST AND I'LL LOVE YOU TILL THE GRASS AROUND MY GRAVESTONE IS DECEASED'#and i got to do it four times 😭#two of them at the most incredible venue 😭#fontaines dc#fontaines d.c.#grian chatten#carlos o'connell#tom coll#conor curley#red rocks night two#my show#m#red rocks night one
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ADKSBFKDKSLVJGH IT WORKS
#THIS WILL WORK ON ICHIBAN TOO DNKDNMFKFM#IT TOOK ME FOUR HOURS AND IVE STILL GOT TO IRON OUT SOME KINKS BUT#i literally just did this bc. i was bored 😭😭😭 and as a test run for the only mod that matters#ada speaks#blender stuff#ill release this when i make sure it doesn't clip 😭 there are a few spots that do and i need to test more thoroughly#i am. going to attempt something more ambitious next time. uh. yeah.#half of it is already figured out. but i want a really good dress that suits him 🤐#everybody who makes drag kiryu is wrong and here's why--#severely limited by available bones we may be but thats no excuse to give kazumi an unfitting outfit 🙃#its about the tattoo. i have my gripes#>tormented by hcs
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#I can't believe my computer broke just a couple of days before the new chapter came out.#Not to be dramatic or anything but this was my last straw#It means everything to me 😭😭😭 My puter has my whole life in in. And endless resources of everything#That's why people tell you to backup stuff 🤦🤦🤦#Okay before I get too dramatic it's not gone like I can turn it on just fine.#Except there's no cursor to be found anywhere and I can't find a way to fix it#(Yeah it's not the f4 key I've tried that. Repeatedly)#So since there's no way to turn the puter off without mouse I had to kill it the hard way 4-5 times today#(aka every time I tried turning it on again in hope everything got fixed on its own)#And when I turned it on again five minutes ago. IT DIDN'T START NORMALLY. AND IT ASKED THE SYSTEM LANGUAGE AND STUFF#I lost like. Half my lifespan. I was terrified it got formatted out of nowhere and I had lost everything#It didn't. It seemingly is fine (from what I can see from my desktop).#But man I really didn't need this kind of stress on top of average exams depression#Idk what to do... I want to go to the guy in my dorm who studies computer science but it'd be the third time I ask him for help–#and I'm a little embarrassed now. Asking for help sucks in general#But I don't have money to pay consultation...#I think there is a chance my touchpad just worn out since. Like. I use my computer extensively#But even that seems a little excessive? Not even the buttons work. I've only had this computer for three or four years...#Anyways I don't have a physical mouse. And I can't spend money to buy it when there's a chance that wouldn't fix the problem. Ughhhhhhhhhh#random rambles#If I stop posting in the next days. It's simply because I can't 😭😭😭#Goodbye people please keep posting ss kk for me
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the day i got this thing compared to today is just a bit funny
#i know i got it A WHILE ago but i've only had the time to use it four times so. crazy difference considering that lol#see this is a ''new'' ''christmas present'' that will be put under the tree. so i need to use it only when my dad cant see me#my mom knows about it but my dad gets pissed when christmas ''doesnt look like it used to'' so we just. fake a bunch of presents lmao#yea christmas doesnt look like it used to bc my toys arent cheap plastic now and we dont make that much money-#anyways! i havent used this new brush to draw him yet it's sooooo fun#but my creative well has run INCREDIBLY dry with him so i dont really have any ideas :V tragic#i think i might actually take that wip i have and completely start over lining it#as cool as it looks in pixel art. i just really love this brush#and i just cant see myself doing super precise pixel art like this anymore... at least not BIG pixel art#that's one of the biggest drawings i've made TO DATE. no way in hell it's getting done on a new device 😭#so i think that will be my project for the next few days >:)#that and drawing more m&l stuff kjfhkg i've done sooooo many doodles of the final boss#i need to draw him playing balatro...#awa
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I don't have any art this week, so here's some Phobio scrapbook pages I made like forever ago
#yes there are four full pages#yes i plan to make more because i have more scraps left from printing manga panels#yes these are the fullest pages in my tensura scrapbook#i have favorites and it's easy to tell 😭#when i get time to relax i'll do pages for rigur too#scrapbooking#tensura#that time i got reincarnated as a slime#phobio
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ARCANE DAY
Episode 4 and 5 in the tags and:
SALO BEING A VIKTOS FOLLOWER??? CRAZY. ALSO BOTH VIKTOR MISSING JAYCE AJDHSKSJ also cait has kinda calmed down... and I am sure she misses vi so I KNOW this is going to happen to her soon.... we aren't getting much of her feelings yet... she's still too onto Jinx to catch up on where ambessa is going...
DID JAYCE JUST KILL SALO??? WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE
Also vander not recognizing vi at first until she gives up fighting.... incredible ALSO vander and silco being miners and vi wearing her gauntlets that were initially thought out for miners.... damn
This is my favourite episode so far....
Episode 6 here:
Sky really being there..... of course she is....
Ambessa training caitlyn.... of course thats her new daughter akdjskms Tunnels in your eyes.... GIRL!!!!!!! THAT'S WHAT YOU DON'T NEED RIGHT NOW also the guy outside is a mage... ambessa is such a hypocrite
Vi and Jinx vs ambessa and cait.... this was always about class war don't get it twisted SINGED!!! TRAITOR!!!!
ARE THEY GOING TO SEE VIKTOR???? I looove how viktors touch on their faces leave "scars" so recognizable
Did isha just take the gem from vi's gauntlets??? Omg I wasn't expecting viktor to build a hippie commune to be honest omg he looks so good.... with the blonde underhairs.... and I do believe that's the same blanket....
And of course viktor knows who vander is.... nvm he diesnt know omg viktor asking for Powder.....
We are getting viktor horsegirl montage.... omg the vander momtage I can't..... omg they wanna stay.... singed is gonna fuck all this up NOOOOO 😭😭😭 they are already there I am going to kms
CAITLYN STOP THIS MADESSS!!! ✋️ CAITLYN!!!!! VI KILL THIS MAN!!! OMG CAITLYN...... mongoose... yeah.... and fuck you too.... CUPCAKE!!!! ABOUT TIME!!!! CAITLYN I SAID STOP THIS MADNESS WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!! And jayce too 😭😭😭 we're never making it out of the fissures
It's such a shame the spit on here won't work like on challengers.... one can only pray I guess
Jinx experiencing the "there's nothing more undoing as a daughter" moment.... incredible
"Your absence provided a vacuum I was able to fill" TO VI???? I KNEW THAT HAND HOLDING IN THE COMMANDER SCENE WAS SUS AKDHKASJ maddie exists and ambessa knows that and still.... it was not filling her mother's void...
YES CAITLYN!!! YES!!!!! VI is so hot I am distracted... ambessa was right.... now what the fuck will jayce fuck up??? Thats the question... NOT ANOTHER CHILD!!! jayce is a menace... the guys smiling at jayce are viktor... maybe the child even....
JINX KILL THAT MAN!!! NVM VANDER KILL THAT MAN!!! JAYCE YOU FUCKING MORON!!!!! JAYCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHEN I GET YOU JAAAYCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Isha what are you going to do omg 😭😭 did she kill vander... another powder... my god another week...
That was such a good fucking episode too.... and caitlyn didn't go insane when finding Jinx that is a step forwards but viktor can't be dead... no fucking way... he was giving himself away for the people and he was going to finally die by saving vander and look at what we got... no wonder viktor hates his guts. Jayce you were so good in act one.... what happened..... alright. Christ.... another week....
#FUCKING MADDIE?????????????? NO FUCKING WAYYYYYYYYYY#fucking maddie??? yes she is fucking her. christ. jinx was right vi should have hit before all of that.... maddie bet her to it 😭😭😭#i have tears in my eyes aldjaodjsk no fucking way what the heeeeeeell ooooh my goooood nowaaayyaaayyyaaaayyyy#and cait looks so pretty....... she is still focused on jinx.....#omg isha..... jinx gave up jinx??? what...... ambessa is making hextech... so jayce is still missing.... well she is trying#and mel is still missing too.... christ and ekkos friend is sympathetic to jinx... mmhmhmmmmm also ambessa clocks everything aldjakaj#cait has calmed down.... what is happening... she is now only violent towards jinx i guess. ambessa is opening that wound over and over oof#THE MIDDLE FINGER AKDBAKSBKANSKA sevika is unifying the underground i knew it!!! yes!!!! jinx show up!!!!#cait paying homage to her mother while rictus beats up some guy.... her suffering meking her an enabler to those actions... yeah#oh no..... they know.... isha lighting the fire like jinx did.... sevika getting her arm cut... ISHA BEAT HIM UUUP!!! JINX!!!! omg singed..#enforcer vi becoming part of her hallucinations... its so over... also silco... jinx kill this man. not ambessa... omg jinx run....#she likes iiiit yeeeeahhhh.... ekkos friend... . and THE BROTHEL LADY... SHE KNOWS WHO SHE IS!!! SHE IS SO GLAD!!! WARWICK!! FUCK SHIT UP!!#OMG HE RECOGNIZES HER!!!!! HE SPEAKS!!!!! WHAT A FUCKING MASSACRE OUTSIDE BUT HE DOES RECOGNIZE HER!!!!#CALL VIIIII THROW A PARTY WE ARE A FOUR PEOPLE HOUSEHOLD NOW!!! FIVE WITH SEVIKA!!! COME ON AT LEAST TRY!!!#his eyes changing color... singed you are nothing compared to a fathers love... jinx complaining about not really having killed powder....#she didnt and vander recognises that.... amazing omg........#THE CAIT IN BED HALLUCINATION AND JINX THERE!!!! its so weird seeing them both like this.... jinx wanting to help him.... ofc...#THEY GOT VANDER???? also you know whats funny... the cape makes cait look like silco... it looks red even#why is singed based.... OMG MEL!!! HER BROTHER!!!!! OH MY GOD VIIII LOOKS SO GOOOD!!!! HER GAUNTLETS ARE PAINTED BLACK TOO AKDBAKS#bitch mittens (not even diy) damn vi she got you hard THE BITCH SLAP omg vi... your big sister duties...#singed actually venering vander.... do not help the opressor singed!! i just said you were based!!! IS MEL PREGNANT?!?!??!#she does enjoy her puzzles..... oh of course he is an hallucination.... the first time he appeared behind her....#silco and vanders old hq..... omg MORE DOOMED YAOI...... vander apologised but silco didn't read the letter 😭😭 as vi reaches for jinx omg#vi wearing her enforcer plaque without the plaque.... slay but why. no vander no loke he is a dog akdhaksj IS VANDER THEIR ACTUAL FATHER#NO FUCKING WAY A LOVE TRIANGLE AND EACH ONE GETS OME DAUGHTER AIDHOQSJOSAKL i need a fucking moment....#well its not vanders.... BUT THE SAME CUP AND STRAW FOR POWDER OMG!!! THE FATHERS THAT STEPPED UP!!!CONNEL GET RECKT!!!!#bedrock and blisters my fucking god. vander and silco wanting to build a better zaun for her daughters... AND JINX AND VI ARE GONNA MAKE IT#vander looking at the woman she likes whos hair is purple: ive always liked the name violet. im going to be sick!!!! my god!!!#MY GOOOOOD!!!!!!! VANDER HUGGING VI!!! THE SHOT OF HER OFFERING JINX TO JOIN WILL END MEE!!!!#watching arcane
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i want the knowledge but to have the knowledge i need to research
#and to research i need energy#(saw unrelated posts about different times in history and got EXTREMELY jealous of other people for Knowing)#i need to make more research masterlists so tbe process is easier for me but also thats hard bc like#but also then ill just have untouched masterlists for forever#<- fool who thought they could do research on the four humours while recovering from burnout and currently has a virtually untouched list#idk how researching is fun for people 😭#it makes me excited once i have everything and can READ my sources#but getting sources stresses me out 😭#i want the knowledge of someone who has devoted their entire lives to one topic but with a lot of topics. at once. and like rn.#bellposting
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oh also headsup to everyone that i will be TRYING to see if i can’t catch the new bravern ep earlier than i usually do tomorrow so y’know. beware the Posts
#like i wont be able to focus on anything once it drops anyways so like. MIGHT AS WELL#i could barely focus on anything today tbh. LMAO#i don’t even know why i’m so anxious like i fully trust that it will be good and satisfying and i have zero expectations plotwise#i just want isami to be happy i think 😭 he and lulu#either way tho it’s been such a fun time keeping up w this show :]#like i’m rly glad to watch it while it was airing and see all the fanarts and talk abt silly theories w my friends and make Posts#and i still do think ep9 in particular maybe even elevates this to like. fav stories ever been told type of deal#like recency bias ofc but also. bravern himself is SO 😭#anyways. LMAO#t.txt#what a special show :]#OH MY GOD WAIT I DO WANNA SAY#WHOEVER GOT THAT GIF OF MINE TO BE LIKE ONE OF THE FIRST BRAVERN GIFS IN TWITTER SEARCH#THANK YOU BUT WHY IS IT ONLY SEVEN PIXELS 😭 EVERY TIME I SEE IT I CRINGE#wait also again i lied earlier on. rip. i actually DO expect smith/bv to come back in some fashion#like i’d bet money on that. but like. i do also trust the show to make it work if he Doesn’t ykwim?#its just one of those scenarios where it’ll be like. happy ending: will make me very happy#bittersweet ending: will stay with me forever and ever and ever and ever and ever an#okay sorry for editing this post four millioj times i gotta go do chores
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HELP WHAT DO YOU MEAN JEREMY FALLS IN LOVE WITH KANI WHAT DID I MISS??? WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM AND SAMIRA?!?!?!
idc if i got spoiled by this I WANT ANSWERS
anyway heres a quick lil dragon drawing
#i couldve sworn they ended up being together?? did they break up offscreen or smth??? 😭😭#times like these r what makes me wish i could understand french...sniff#i only watched the first 3 eps of season 4 bc theyre the only english dubbed ones that i could find LOLLL im sooo missing out HAHA#i shouldve known from the constant weird ass “thatta girl” he kept referring to her#literally found this info from a wikia god please let it be misinfo#btw... how old r jeremy and kani...#ah well at least we got a muslim character HECK YEAHHH#oh yeah almost forgot#street football#street football cartoon#street football season 4#foot 2 rue#foot 2 rue saison 4#bro i do NOT know french help me four f2r fans 😭
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very lalalala day... I must savor it before I go to the trenches tomorrow
#got to sub for my old theater teacher and the kids were like YO!!!! AGAIN!!! HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS 😭😭😭🌋🌋🌋🌋#bc ive subbed for them in choir the past four days 😆#it's fun to build that rapport w the kids! :] and then yesterday the choir teacher had asked if I could have them#figure out their riser formation for one of the more difficult songs they're doing and well.#peace and love on the planet earth those kids were STRUGGLING 😭 but i gave them no structure or help so. what could they do#(although that is a bit out of my wheelhouse as a sub 😳)#anyways it bothered me that the choir teacher was going to come back from being sick + have a whole lotta nothing SO. i spent my whole day#thinking about the dynamics of that group and which parts of the song challenged which voice parts + how confidently each section sang#etc etc. and i made a little diagram for her so she could at least have one thing to throw at the wall today 🥲#so! i went to check on her in between classes bc she's fighting bronchitis and i was worried about her. well! come to find out my#diagram was really helpful and the girls liked how it felt in those spots + are going to stick with it for concert! huzzah 😁🍻#i also got to interrogate the choir teacher on what uni's she recommends and ‼️‼️ holy shit mama has the scoop!!! we spent 20 minutes#talking about it at least 😇 anyways. fighting the urge to go to the private uni she and the other choir teachers in my lineage went to....#have i performed at that school many times and love the environment of their program? yes. but you have to fight a WAR for their scholarship#and they basically never give full-rides for music 🥲 then there's another private uni w an excellent musical theater program that would#give me a lot of experience in that vein BUT money is so hard already so 🥴🥴🥴#there's another school where you can get a bme and fast-track into their graduate conducting program which ‼️‼️#but ALSO. there's another school with an opera program 👀👀 which i would kill to study#i need to make an excel sheet respectfully. so much to consider 🙈🙈🙈#mostly i just want to be. as well-rounded as possible before i get in the classroom so i can have this same conversation w my own students#school stuff aside!! i just got out of our pre-season for the con i work at and RAHH ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#our team is so. 🌅🌅🌅❣️💖 i love everyone so much we are a little machine and i missed everyone a lot :] very excited for the changes we're#making this year!!#sriracha.txt
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Realizing I can no longer make jokes about being unmedicated. Damn 😔
#I think the most shocking one is I have to start going to see a physical therapist#wasn’t expecting that#psychiatric? yes. gynecologist? yes. blood work? not super surprising#but PHYSICAL THERAPY? damn#I guess I wasn’t expecting having to get my thyroid levels checked either but gotta do that#also the birth control I got put on is like. the same stuff they give trans women for hrt I think lmao#I can’t take anything else because APPRENTLY I’m at a higher risk of stroke with it because of other health problems I have#so I’m being given essentially straight estrogen 😭😭😭😭#but anyways most of my problems are getting addressed in some way which is something#it’s all very overwhelming esp knowing I have like four other appointments in the span of a month#but#maybe it will amount to something and I won’t feel miserable all the time anymore lmfao#kaz rambles
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nosy anon again making a return because i think what my brain did was read that i helped find some kind of writing and then did not fully process what the writing was?? but upon rereading i am very intrigued if you ever get the urge to share i will be all eyes/ears/senses required to enjoy things!!
I GET TO DO WIP WEDNESDAYYYYYY!!! the writing exists mostly in the form of a tag (fantastic! 'verse) and also a thirty-two page doc of snippets and planning, so the sense you will be using most is imagination:
don't think i have ever actually formally written out anything about fantastic! 'verse but! the tl;dr of it is that it's a semi-college au: joel is still a hockey player for the lv phantoms, but morgan is a college student-athlete. it's incredibly relevant to the plot that joel falls in love with morgan in the check-out line of a wegman's, lies a little bit, and ends up going back to get his degree.
most of it is just good fun about college kids growing up, but i think there's a lot of parallels between making your way through a development system where traditional "success" isn't always guaranteed (ahl -> nhl, completion of higher education -> pursuit of a career) because that development system isn't always designed for you to "succeed" or have opportunities. heavy quotation marks around success because part of that struggle is learning what you want in life and how you define success. are your dreams achievable? are they still the same dreams you always used to have? it's infinite branching universes of would you still love me if i was a worm (ahl player forever) (a college dropout) (a college graduate) (older) (realizing the fallibility of your body) (uncertain of the future) (human).
silly little snippet:
#do i LOVE this snippet no we're still workshopping but i felt like y'all needed context for why it's fantastic! 'verse#and i can't link ash's tweet because. priv nor can i link kay or jos' replies so this is me saying Just Trust Me the tweet is this scene#anon the gift keeps on giving. i get to gab i get to be nosy the world is ideal i am here for it#does it count as wip wednesday if the w in question has been ip for four (?) years?#liv in the replies#HI THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO GO OUT WHEN I FIRST GOT IT BUT I MISSED WEDNESDAY SO I HAD TO WAIT A WHOLE WEEK TO HIT IT AGAIN#BECAUSE I GOT EXCITED ABOUT DOING THE DAYS OF THE WEEK wip wednesday#you know the one oh i LOVE this part audio? that's me any time somebody asks me questions i am SO inclined to share.#one time somebody made a comparison about the blog and walking through a garden and it made me weepy i can't even lie#ALSO I SAW YOUR OTHER ASK i am in the trenches about whether i want to post it or not i did also go look and see her morgan posting in 2019#and maybe she is the same girlfriend?? maybe they broke up and got back together?? maybe she just cleaned up her vsco??? SO confused#(the debate is for all the reasons you mentioned lol it's just me deciding how Public you have to be before i think i want to paper doll yo#into my narratives? in a public forum because i would absolutely dm/gc/etc where there's no chance she could see or be involved#(as if she is on tumblr) but also figuring out how much i let into the sandbox. To Me things like the edm polycule or including wags can be#interesting within the narratives and sometimes i just pretend they don't exist! right now i am intrigued by the fact of whether or not#i invented a girlfriend (???) for morgan but she really doesn't fit into my narratives in a fun/interesting way besides that#and i don't want to spread misinfo if i DID invent this other girlfriend. rip morgan's imaginary (??) gf although i KNOW there was one#with the artsy vsco claw marks on his back. i promise!!! maybe it was just her!!!#fantastic! 'verse#i have better snippets i promise this au is funny it also features like. all of the 2019-2020 flyers because that's when i started writing#AND probably ten of those 32 pages are plans for a sequel/companion about isaac ratcliffe my beloved 😭#don't think too hard about who is actually playing on the flyers or draft orders without people. EYE know who is still on the team#but i did not do the math shenanigans to figure out who replaced people like morgan or scooty loots. vibes only no PP units
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ok so I get the schools football team is great and you can afford to spend thousands of dollars on signs that glow when they play and shit but can you go back to not charging kids for pads. or at least stocking the dispensers that do
#rant in tags sorry lol i hate it here#anyways#I don't generally take change with me when i go to the bathroom mid class#believe it or not#and half the time the dispensers are empty or broken anyway#“but then kids will just take them all” 1) how would anybody casually walk out of the restroom with 50 tampons#2) i think youd live#use that money you're always bragging on for something thats NOT showy sports gear or a fucking ten thousand dollar chandelier#hate rich schools because they have so much money they dont even bother spend it right#dont even get me started on the band#i like band !!! band is cool !!!! however my former high school had a great band#and they didn't BEG THEIR MEMBERS to sponsor THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS EACH FOR#on top of what they already have#AND THEY HAVE A LOT.#tbh ive never met more spoiled kids than the band ones at my school in my life#“we didn't get to have 5 field trips to amusement parks this year. just four. of COURSE im upset; they dont fund band enough”#that kid got jumped on by three art kids and a teacher when that came out 😭😭😭#they just expect this shit#do they notice what its taking from everyone else#i have a teacher whos worked with this school for like 25 years. which is remarkable as this school isnt very old. or this town#compared to my other schools at least#and every day she goes on about How Much She Hates what theyre doing#but she wont leave because she likes to teach#shes watched the school slowly transfer more and more of its budget to showy extra things#and give less and less to necessities#more money does not help.#not only is there nothing more they can take from some families without driving us out‚ but they'll just keep wasting it.#theyre spoiled fucking rotten and you can't give them anything because itll never go where you want#out of tags but yeah i hate them and something needs to be done about the district#school problems
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most beautiful woman in the world BTW…
#shut up about bg3.#me doing all the romance scenes so I can take more screencaps of shri’iia 😔🫶#i managed to get lae’zel/astarion/karlach/shadowheart this time around so WHO SAID she doesn’t get bitches!!!!!!#but I think out of the four lae’zel and astarion’s scenes fits with her character the most bc she’s not the type to sit down and have#heart to hearts��� which pains me to say because karlach was so cute about it 😭😭😭😭😩🙏#i think I’ll keep astarion bc I’m still delusional and believe that shadowheart and lae’zel can have a thing 😭#like what was that homoerotic straddling with the knife on the neck for….. ??? idk …. I love enemies to lovers 🙄🙄🙄#but I managed to be an oath breaker in this playthrough ! and defended the grove from minthara#which was SUCH a hard fight like omg ….#I just got lucky that I managed to kill her in one turn with shri’iia otherwise i would’ve been wasted ..#but it’s now the start of shri’iia’s oath breaker arc aka she’s not bound to her oaths / devotion to lolth#so maybe now she’ll be decent LOL#speaking of oath breaker arc I actually have a sketch for shri’iia but I’m like u know who this pose will fit too ….. jaime…..
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#i gotta plan and make to do lists so fucking hard ive only got two months#im getting so excited about studying?! 😭#i think now that finals are close enough i can see the path clear#its like that rumi quote the closer im to things the better i see how far im from them or something#i think i messed up second internals and i do not want to be casual anymore#i do not have time to be sad about if im getting involved in petty hostel shenanigans i want to study#idc if i end up scoring less that the girl who only studies night before and end up scoring more than everyone somehow im doing this for my#future#please god help me be focused and motivated please#im glad i skipped classes to spend these 9 days at home even if i can't go home for another four months and have to cry my brains out#ig ill be okay#ive lost all my hobbies and interests and all i can think about rn is jobs and internships so i think thats what i can do#study#if not the best at least consistent#okay maybe ill listen to ttpd#but STUDDDYYYYYY
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I need to take an aleve and an allergy pill and then get sooooo high immediately and then roll my back and try not to cry and then maybe get some sleep if I can get comfy enough
#: (#chronic pain thing when you feel good for a few days and then something small trips u up like sleeping with the wrong pillows and then your#whole neck jaw back shoulders hurt and bc you felt good you accidentally over do it (walking outside four days of the last week)#I want to cry like omg my neck hurts so bad 😭😭😭 it’s that jaw shoulder neck pain where I can’t look back over my left shoulder all the way#without feeling it go down my shoulder blade#and I get headaches bc my jaw and neck is so tight it’s so miserable#but also I feel good cause this is the first time in a few months I’ve had a bad flare like this#all bc I slept with the wrong pillow I feel so stupid 😭😭😭#one fucking pillow wrong and my neck hurts for a full day and affects all this other shit gahhhhh this stupid body im in !!!#I want to walk and exercise and go outside and do all the healthy happy things but my body just hurts me in return like whatam I doing wrong#whatever at least I’m set up with my chronic pain shit. I’ve got the massage cane and the foam roller and the heating pad and the ice pack
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