#and i get the sentiment of not wanting to be treated lesser but i feel like all of those types of posts push the idea that if you do

[dalishious]

Lucanis and Family

House Dellamorte is so gloriously messy. You don’t get to achieve and keep the seat of First Talon without getting your hands dirty…. and unfortunately, without a great deal of loss.

Caterina

Caterina Dellamorte had five children and eight grandchildren. Lucanis’s mother was her favourite; she gave his mother her opal ring as a show of that favour. But House Velardo killed Lucanis’s parents and sent the ring back to Caterina to demand she surrender the seat of First Talon. When she refused to submit, a war of succession broke out amongst the Crows. House Dellamorte remained First Talon, but at great cost – the only surviving family Caterina had left was two of her grandchildren, Lucanis and Illario.

Lucanis says he and Illario lived in Villa Dellamorte with Caterina until they were eighteen. While he says they would have ended up under Caterina’s care regardless for training, they were taken in by her early after their parents were killed by House Velardo.

In the Tevinter Nights story, The Wigmaker Job, Lucanis reflects on the following:

“Memories of sweat-filled days without food or water came unbidden. Lucanis’s back tingled from where his grandmother’s cane had bruised his flesh for letting his guard down or fumbling his footwork. For years, he’d hated her. But his time as a Master Assassin had since taught Lucanis that Caterina’s cruelty was her way of making sure that he was prepared for this life—that he survived.”

And if Rook is a Crow, they share this dialogue:

Rook: What was it like? Training under the First Talon?

Lucanis: What was your training like?

Rook: Torture.

Lucanis: There you go.

Rook: But you didn't resent her?

Lucanis: Not anymore.

Thus, it makes sense that in Lucanis’s mind prison, Spite describes Caterina as “tenderness and terror.” She is his grandmother, and he has always been her favourite, as he acknowledges. I do not doubt that she showed affection for him, but unfortunately it also came with cruelty.

While I do not wish to defend Caterina’s actions, I do think it is important to contextualize them with a reminder that she is a woman who lost her entire family. I really do believe that Lucanis is correct in his assessment that Caterina torturing her grandchildren was her way of making sure they would survive, where their parents did not. Because unfortunately, she is also someone who clearly cares about maintaining her power, and was not willing to sacrifice it for the good of her family’s wellbeing. She wanted to have both power and family, and Lucanis and Illario suffered for it.

Illario

I truly do have sympathy for Illario, despite all the terrible things he’s done.

First of all, remember that all Lucanis went through, Illario also went through. But unlike Lucanis, I don’t think Illario has ever really fully forgiven Caterina. In The Wigmaker Job, he comments, “All that effort training and grooming us, and the old woman still won’t step aside.” Illario doesn’t see the point of been groomed as he was, and doesn’t excuse Caterina like Lucanis does. Probably because no matter what, he’s always been treated as the lesser one.

The saddest thing about Illario though is, in my opinion, that the only way he would have ever actually gained Caterina’s respect is if he really did kill her. Lucanis says he believes as such to Emmrich in party banter. But he couldn’t even do that right. He’s such a fuck-up and I love him.

Lucanis

Lucanis’s mind prison offers more insight in how he sees Caterina… and himself.

When you approach Caterina in the mind prison, she is angry that Lucanis is an abomination, and Rook is able to observe that Lucanis fears he has disappointed her. Spite comments, “Old stale fear of disappointment.” As the favourite child of an abusive parent myself, I can tell you right now I really relate to this sentiment of thinking you need to be perfect in order to keep your favouritism, because they make you feel like you owe that to them.

When you approach Illario in the mind prison, the first thing Illario says is that Rook is too good to be wasting time with Lucanis. He also says that Lucanis will fill his mind prison with corpses. Because that’s how Lucanis has traditionally seen himself, I think; as someone who’s only importance is that he’s a good killer. It’s how Caterina raised him. But now that he’s had a taste of more with the Veilguard, he’s terrified to lose it. Spite says that there are three kinds of people: “Family. Enemies. Contracts.” But the Veilguard has shown Lucanis that he can have friends, too. (And potentially a lover if Rook romances him, or he gets with Neve.)

Average families can be complicated. Assassin families, apparently even more so. I think a crucial part of Lucanis’s character is that he values his family so strongly. He no longer resents Caterina for how she raised him and Illario. He is unwilling to kill Illario, even though Illario made it clear that he would not have spared Lucanis in return. Because they are cousins who were more like brothers, and that means something to Lucanis. After all, as one of the notes found in his mind prison says, “So few of us left…”

-----

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[lakesbian]

which of the undersiders would transition fix?

...okay probably none of them but which of them should most do it anyway

if we're reading taylor as trans i think she just comes off like she's already aware she's trans and being treated suchly (i.e. badly) at the start of the story and like. gets illegal villain estrogen or whatever (regular estrogen but it's being supplied via being a villain and she takes it using bugs because of the way that she is like how she brushes her teeth with bugs) and it still doesnt change literally anything about her arc. like wildbow made her accidentally bi and to a slightly lesser but still significant extent accidentally trans but doing yuri or transitioning would not save her.

brian is ontologically a cishet man

i feel like lisa being epitome cis white blonde meangirl is sort of critical to her character design because it's very much a survival-tool Mask and Role that she wears/plays so it's like. If she were to transition away from that i think it might be a Sign or Symptom of things being less bad for her but it would not be responsible for the fixing per se? like, being able to do it would be a pH indicator of her Environment being better but it would not be the Cause of her getting fixed?

alec is....i think i've posted "regent get estrogen" and/or some sort of sentiment about transitioning being a fix before so there's that. i don't have a strong opinion about his gender and i don't know if he does either but, like, i can see a world where girlregent is a thing and being a girl is an Improvement. so many trans girls on here love being dolls and alec is already a doll so all thats left is for him to become a girl. i genuinely believe direct and conscious engagement w/ her (girlregent)'s body to mold it to be how she wants via transition would be an improvement over boylec's I Do Not See It situation

if aisha is trans we all know it's in the sparklegender pronouns are airhorns sense and that would not fix anything but it would be fun to witness. rachel i just genuinely think is a girl in the sense that if you point at a dog and call it she/her the dog will go ok 👍she's not fussed about all that

rachel's a doggirl and shes butch deviation from this is not permitted so if she's trans then she's already transitioned or is transitioning during the course of the story and it did not fix her. taylor hebert fixed her. which. hm. which is t4t so then it wraps back around to yes transitioning did actually fix her in a way

so. out of the options here the only one that really qualifies is, i think, alec. and while we're at it get cherie on testosterone (will make her worse but i want to see it) tl;dr regent get hoverboard AND estrogen

[marshmellowtea]

okay warning ahead of time that this post is not going to be super coherent i'm just trying to get out a stream of consciousness on my thoughts on these two bozos ghklasdjfklsad BUT as far as chris and robert's sister's relationship goes (and i'll be referring to her as ellie going forward for simplicity's sake)(i think she went by molly as a kid but as she grew up she decided that her middle name ellie is a better fit for her and that's what she goes by in uni. not at all relevant to her and chris i just wanted to share that thought lol):

(okay putting this under a cut cuz this got super long for no reason lmao RIP)

so. first of all. i think it's incredibly interesting that chris specifically says "we'll never have to work with this bunch of freaks again", implying that ellie herself is an actress, or at least involved in some aspect of the drama society. i don't have any super in depth thoughts about this other than that this makes me believe that the two of them met through theater, and i can't decide whether or not i believe chris knew she was robert's sister before he started dating her or if he found out afterwards because either one is fucking hilarious lmao. either he willingly went out with his best worst friend/catastrophic situationship's sister and thought that was perfectly fine and normal (or maybe it's revenge for robert dating his mother? either way. messy bitch behavior lmao) or he learned this information after he'd been with her for a while and it immediately gave him psychic damage. okay now that i've typed it out i am leaning more toward the second option cuz the idea of chris slowly noticing all the traits in ellie that he clicks with that remind him of robert is actually so delightful to me but i think both options have their merits lmao.

anyway. i do think these two genuinely did click with each other, is the thing. sure, it was in a superficial young puppy love kind of way (i know for a fact this relationship was SO high school in spite of—or perhaps because of—the fact these two are emotionally stunted mid-twenty year olds lmao) but like, they did like each other, or at least the idea of each other. unfortunately, they just also enabled each other's worst impulses and behaviors, so it wasn't really a healthy relationship lol. i think they latched onto each other through a mutual dissatisfaction with the drama society that evolved into bitterness and resentment because they're both petty bitches at heart, and it doesn't help that ellie doesn't really know any of the drama society outside of her brother who sucks (i love him for it though <3). the only impressions of them she got were superficial interactions with them through being a part of the society in whatever way she was and chris's complaining about them, so of course she was inclined to encourage him to leave them behind. reach for something greater. fuck these weirdos, come with me and do some real acting, you don't need them, we only need each other :)

um. she quickly regrets that sentiment lmao. i don't think chris is generally a very needy person, but that's only because he actively represses every desire he's ever had. if you get him vulnerable enough, though, then that's when the neediness comes out, and he's at a very vulnerable point in his relationship with ellie. i've talked about how i think he was probably having some sort of crisis during this time related to not feeling very connected to his friends which. not to bring the bpd headcanon into this. but i fully believe his ass immediately reacted to that hurt with splitting on them and treating them as lesser than in his mind lmao, and ellie reinforcing that belief did Not Help (which i am not saying to demonize her! she did not have the full picture and was going off of what chris was telling her so of course she thought these people were bad for him lol. it's part of what made this relationship so messy). he's in a self sabotaging state, he's convinced himself that his literal entire support system is beneath him and he has to leave them behind, and he's left with one person to replace said support system. to say he becomes a little reliant on/clingy with ellie is uhhhh. well lmao

the thing is i don't think she disliked it at first. chris is a fucking pretty boy and she knows he's crazy off the bat but it's kind of in a fun way, y'know? their relationship starts as a whirlwind of passion and making out and sharing their goals and dreams of something bigger, they seem to have so much in common! sure he's a bit clingy and the venom with which he speaks about his old friends can be a little offputting but those are such minor red flags compared to how much fun she's having. i think the first moment that she starts to realize that she might be in over her head is when she shows up to dennis's birthday party and realizes that she and sandra are wearing the exact same dress, which yes is mainly because i'm really attached to the idea that chris bought that for her without realizing how insane about sandra he was being when he did that but listen this headcanon makes her expression in that moment so much funnier like ahlkgdasjlf

^ i fully believe this is the face of a woman who's starting to have some regrets lmao tell me i'm wrong. anyway

i'm not sure if i posted this yet or not but i fully believe the real dealbreaker was when he started explaining to her what his plans were for how to get the scrooge role. like, she knew he was a bit off his rocker (said with all the affection in the world btw. he's unwell <3) but i think she also assumed he was more grounded than the rest of the drama society, and normally to some degree she'd be right. but the thing is chris is A) stubborn as fuck, especially when it comes to his creative aspirations, B) in the middle of a manic breakdown where he's about to leave behind everyone he's ever loved and who's ever loved him, and C) frankly. kind of unhinged in general even without the extenuating circumstances, so of COURSE his ass thinks that kidnapping a bunch of bbc actors and hijacking their broadcast is an excellent idea for how to secure the role of scrooge lmao. what else was he going to do, something rational? he would never.

just......imagine this with me. he thinks this plan is incredibly clever, doesn't he. he has it all planned out to a disturbingly detailed degree and he explains it to ellie with all the childlike excitement he used when telling her about his aspirations to get out of the drama society and that's when it clicks for her that oh he's CRAZY crazy. and she smiles very sweetly at him and puts a hand on his arm and tells him "that's wonderful sweetheart :) i think. we should break up" and he's like "huh" and she's like "we need to break up. we can't be together anymore" and chris doesn't even have a response to that because his world is falling apart all over again lol :")

the chris/robert parallels have always been in the back of her mind, is the thing. they have a disturbing amount in common, but she'd been willing to look past that cuz chris is sweet in ways her brother isn't and he seems to really like her, and he gives her the affection and validation she's been missing in her life. he tells her he needs her all the time and that he can't do this without her, he's incredibly touchy with her in a way he hasn't been with anyone else not since sandra, before they had their tragic bestie breakup that i'll write about one of these days lol. but again, the red flags are there—he's getting a bit too dependent on her, he's already talking about them getting married (she hasn't even met his parents yet, and if he has it his way they never will because celia would not approve of her lbr), he's really latched onto the "us against the world" mentality she's offered to a degree that's kind of uncomfortable. she's already ignoring a lot, it's just that the kidnapping plot crosses a line, and not even solely because it's a literal crime lol but also because it's just so robert.

not to bring grovebean into it but i'm going to lol i think this is the moment where it clicks for her why her brother was so entwined with this guy. they are indeed two peas in a pod, so different but also so similar in a way that makes them clash and click and the same time. i think in the back of her mind she was always aware that chris's relationship with robert would come to bite them in the ass eventually, but she just really overestimated how long that would take lol. there's no way this relationship lasted more than a few months at most, i don't think they were together for very long at all ghlaksfdlkfjds.

on another note, i don't think chris's sexuality really was a factor in the dilapidation of this relationship. idk why but i really like the idea of ellie being asexual like him, so i think they were both really relieved to be in a relationship where sex wasn't an expectation. there's also the fact that despite headcanoning chris as gay i really do think that he prefers the company of women (another way his life is so tragic LMAO), so while his feelings for ellie weren't necessarily romantic, he was genuinely invested in this relationship and really enjoyed being with her. it's just that their combined mental issues unfortunately got in the way of the relationship being functional, lol.

i have. already typed too much so i should probably wrap this up soon cuz i have to leave the cafe in a bit so :') i haven't really touched on the whole chrissandra projection of this relationship as much but that's because i haven't fully fleshed that out in my head yet, so maybe i'll write about that more later. for now uhhh here's my thesis paper on chris and ellie being bad for each other but kinda cute about it LMAO

[jnjzksekfjvn]

Your post about how america acts very different as a public performance for Europe and its nonsense vs more chill and natural with other American continent nations and esp Canada is eating my brain cause Hard Agree you got any more thoughts on that

My America (continent, mainly focusing on the northern side) headcanons pt. 2

This was mainly about the way that Europe has caused america to assimilate into a colonialist imperialist mindset (as well as abusing america during the colonial times) and this has caused america to hold a grudge against the europeans... however he also yearns to be at the same "level" as them (due to european superiority, tied with white supremacy being drilled into his head and pretty much every southern hemispheres nations heads during the colonialist era) so he tries to perform as a powerful individualist nation (capitalism being the root cause of why imperialism happened in the first place) and push others down at the same time... He tries to act superior compared to all the other american nations but behind closed doors (with canada and to some extent mexico) he is more natural and does not feel the need to "perform" for approval, this is because he sees himself as superior and feels less jusged by them

There is a hiarchy to this, and north america is closer up to "european in group" (read abt facism in groups and out groups) than south american nations are. For this reason, america will treat the southern nations as "lesser than" and often be dismissive towards them, however, as much as he hates to admit it (due to his yearning of being closer to european superiority) he shares more traits with them than he would like to admit, and they are his brethren as much as canada is, even moreso in certain aspects (such as mexico, who geographically is more similar to america in terms of biomes, and has had more notable cultural exchanges, aswell as the fact that the cherokee people were geographically closer to the indigenous groups in mexico than the canadian indigenous groups ex. cowboys FROM WHAT I KNOW... idk) because of this he holds them at a distance because he knows if he gets too close he will see the humanity in them, which is not something you're supposed to do to people you consider "inferior".

Americas relationship with canada is complicated to say the least. The way I mainly see it is a distinction between their relationship pre independence (during british rule) and adulthood... It is important to notice that both america and canada came from EXTREMELY different climates, tribes, held different traditions, yet were grouped together as a conglomerate by the british and the french. (generalization of indigenous peoples) I want to highlight this specifically, which is why I made canada inuit and america cherokee. britain forced canada to move to virginia to live with him and america, and this caused canada to be extremely alienated and confused, thesituation for him is pretty much this: weird looking guy comes in kills your family then moves you to a completely different place and abuses you and some other kid who is also weird and different however you and thekis bond over being abused by the same guy, and slowly become depentent on eachother not for fun but for SURVIVAL.

Now how this translates into adulthood is interesting because america is still just as codependent (psychologically) to canada and canada is dependent on him too, however they are both still constantly competing for the attention of european nations (tying back to euro superiority mindset) and this caused them to distance themselves from eachother... they still love eachother very much and will hold a shared grudge against england for what he has done to both of them, a grudge causing the relationship to be closer than others.. Canada is also dismissive to south americans yet he lacks the actual social connection with them (however he and a lot of them share similar sentiments over europe, both in rooting for their approval and hating them simultaneously) so his dismissal is more hidden since he wants to keep up his "friendly with everyone" demeanor... while canada and america fight quite often it pains them to see glimpses of eachother especially childhood memories they have of eachother so they distance themselves in order to avoid the feelings.

[theghostofashton]

I’m the anon that asked about what racism he gets and thanks for the explanation :)

One more thing I have to ask maybe I’m just slow 😭 but something that I always think to myself when I see people call out the racism Carlos gets and I’m not trying change the subject or make tk the centre of attention but is it not more so people are just ignorant towards Carlos trauma more so racist?

Cause idk what country your in and we have racism unfortunately like everywhere else but I feel like people where im from and in my life we see racism more as a we don’t like you because of your colour it’s because of the race they actually are so you think people look at Carlos and see his brown skin and go ok im going to ignore all these issues and be mean because he’s brown instead of just being an ignorant human to humans issues?

Cause going back to tk^ if tk was Carlos and Carlos was tk and people were saying all these things about tk what would you call it, would you defend it as much and use a different word then racism or would you Ignore it and just see it being ignorant or close minded because he’s a white man.

This is a genuine question you did a good job at explaining for me it’s just I’m not that educated on racism and word issues and when I here the word racist I think they don’t like him because of his skin colour and when reading comments about Carlos I just don’t get that. I just wanna know a little better what the difference is, and if the roles were reversed or if it was just a different character would you think the same.

I saw you said you haven’t seen it but I seen a lot of criticism against the other characters too especially marjan people saying she doesn’t represent what an actual muslim woman is.

Again not being mean 🩵

hi anon! you're not slow, these are good questions! i'm sorry it took me a few days to answer, i wanted to take some time to think about it a bit before i did.

so i'm indian-american and speaking from that perspective to your first question, they feel tied together in a lot of ways for me! the way i've experienced racism living in the us has not only been explicit comments, but also things like this, a refusal to validate any struggles/trauma/mental health issues, a denial of them existing. i would say growing up as a poc in the us and dealing with racism is in a lot of ways traumatic, they feel tied together because not only are you experiencing the racism, you're also dealing with people dismissing it as racism downplaying it, etc.

the way i see it, race plays a role here, because it's color, but why? skintone is determined by the amount of melanin someone has, but there's no material difference, if that makes sense? racism comes from giving meaning to the difference. deciding certain people are lesser based on this. that difference is all manufactured, on purpose, to justify treating some people as lesser. they're less human, their feelings are unimportant, they're inherently bad, etc. hatred based on skin color exists because people decided those with that skin color are less than, and this has been used to justify violence against poc for centuries.

with that in mind, the way carlos is talked about can't exist in a vacuum. i think there's this idea that people aren't intending what they say in a racist way, so it can't be bad, but to me, that doesn't really work. fandoms are made up of people who also exist in the real world, alongside all these harmful ideas, and who are very capable of bringing them into fandom spaces (a lot of the time unintentionally! these are ideas that have been reinforced for so long that they're often ingrained and take time to unlearn). for me, the way carlos's grief has been talked about has been difficult, because it feels like a lot of it boils down to wanting him to just get over it, just move on, finding what he's dealing with inconvenient, which echoes a lot of longtime racist sentiments that exist about poc

to your question about tk, i think there definitely have been points where the conversation about him has been ableist, where people have been incredibly insensitive about his trauma and his addiction. it's similar to what's happening with carlos in terms of stigmas existing around addiction and mental illness, but different because it doesn't involve race. i would have a problem with it just the same because bigotry is bigotry and it's never okay. but the reason it's racism when it's carlos is because of his identity - race is always going to be part of the conversation when talking about him

as for marjan, i don't think i'm best suited to speak on that one since i'm not muslim - if someone who is muslim in the fandom wants to chime in on this please feel free!

but yeah i would say i'd feel similarly about any character of color being talked about this way - race is a part of all of their stories, and that can't be disregarded

[kittenquasar]

One of the deeply frustrating things about being a Canadian is how many of us seem to think we are somehow completely different than the American. Like we are somehow I guess European or a different species and we're nothing alike. When actually we and the Americans are as similar as two counties can be.

We are both large countries that used to be British colonies that were built on the ashes of a fallen civilization, and we both speak English while having substantial minority languages. We celebrate similar or identical holidays, and we're both loaded with natural resources. We each suppress our minorities and have flirted with both progressive and highly conservative governments. We share many things when it comes to culture and what people do for fun. We are siblings!

It blows me away when people are like "at least we're better off than the Americans" as if that's something to feel good about. Americans are our brothers and sisters, we aren't better than them. In many ways we have a lot of the same problems america does, but in a distinctively canadian way.

We are racist, but quietly. We don't think we are, but we are. I've known and worked with enough brown people to know that. We both wish queer and brown people would just shut up and not take up space, in America they tell you that to your face but in Canada you have to figure it out for yourself why people treat you weird but won't address what's wrong and why you're not taken seriously or given professional advancement. It's quiet, and people don't even acknowledging it as a problem.

We both suffer and die under our healthcare systems. Now I won't mix words, America does have it measurably worse on this one. But we like to think our system is so great when we don't have coverage for anything beyond life saving emergency care. No physio, no pharmacy, no dentist, no therapy, no elective surgeries. Worst of all our system is dying. It's overburdened and turning into a capital generation enterprise just like America. Insurance is shrinking. Doctors don't have time for you. It takes 8 months to see a professional, it'll be free but who knows if it's too late by then. We have so so far to go and people seem content to be """""bEtTeR tHaN aMeRiCa""""" as if that means anything.

Nobody can find a house. The few young people who can afford them are all small and decrepit. The govt keeps bringing in people but there's still nowhere to live. This is a huge cause of racist sentiment today

Domestic violence is way more common than the stats say. Especially in rural areas and in lower socioeconomic status. Child abuse is also far more common than people talk about. I've met so many people proud of being beaten as kids

Suicide. This falls heavily on Indigenous youth in remote areas. The stats say Canadians off themselves like Finns but in reality it's hugely disproportionate. White people living within 500km of the US border have rates in line with western Europe or USA, but go north and there so so many hopeless desolate dying communities full of dejected young people with no hope for the future. This is an issue that most ignore through the thick Canadian shield of racism. They deserve it, they've been given handouts, they're lazy, they're drunks, they're lesser. All things I've heard so often growing up here. People find hearing about Indigenous marginalization and genocide BORING. Yes, boring. Nobody feels any responsibility for this situation.

We have a TON of problems here. It's not all rosy in Canada. Growing up nobody online believed me when I tried to correct the stereotype that Canada is some leftist paradise or socialist state. In reality we are as close to government by corporations as you can get without it being de jure. But nobody sees it like this. They all belive the bootstraps myth, they think if you just work hard enough it'll get better. People don't want to think about the scam this all is. Now people are finally talking since its getting worse here, but so so many people get it WRONG and say it's because of Trudeau and not the intended function of governments by rich corporations.

Essay over. If you read my rant about my country thank you! We are so close to disaster here and nobody talks about it.

[daincrediblegg]

Because I was re-watching silence of the lambs earlier, and the scene came where Clarice was being stared at by all male police officers whom were not receptive to what she said, regardless of the fact she was there to do a job, let alone fbi, in addition to information purposefully being kept from her, despite being tasked to help in solving the case, I was of course reminded of what u said abt Lady T. and how the men on board the ship were not at all keen on having her with them, if not frightened of her presence due to superstition, save for Blanky and Francis being some of the few that treat her with the respect she deserves yknow.

With that being said it did make me curious as to whether or not she would b included in the meetings Sir John has with his team (Francis, Jfj, Blanky, etc) not to mention how her presence would b perceived by those at the table as it is very much something that was unprecedented at the time.

oh man it's REALLY funny you mention that movie in particular- I just watched that again recently for this Gothic Novels Seminar that I took just this past semester( and I'd be remiss to say that it didn't heavily influence a lot of the thought-work I did initially for her- among other things). And actually I did a whole essay on gothic couplings (romantic and not so much- and the lines blurred between them)- and argued why it's one of the few literary genres that affords women agency when it's written with a strictly romantic lens in mind (sorry my dear EAP, on whom I gave the lecture of my fucking life, but you don't win at this actually).

Anyway I digress- the shortest answer I can give without getting too terribly long-winded about telling all without actually writing the damn thing - is yes, she's included, but BARELY, and not given much thought despite her earned (and it was EARNED, but also HAD to be given) position. And actually, from the start it's one of the things that draws Francis and LT to each other- because actually (and this would be part of a larger essay on Crozier, had I less brain fog and more time), I see a lot of Clarice in Francis. In a very similar way, the way the anti-Irish sentiment towards him in particular manifests in the way a lot of characters treat him, is very similar to those very scenes in which Clarice is surrounded by men who dismiss and discredit her. Francis has to face a lot of the same stuff- even though we only really know with the benefit of hindsight that he was actually 100% right about what their strategy should have been, but regardless. He's dismissed by Sir John as speculative and alarmist (and a drunkard- which is another byproduct of Irish oppression under imperial rule) when he actually does have better credentials for arctic AND antarctic survival. James dismisses him as melodramatic. Hickey (as well as a good laundry list of others) don't even fully take his orders as seriously- and it could very well likely be because of this, reinforced by the dismissive attitude that his other two commanders took. And at least where my line of thought with Lady Terror is concerned... seeing someone else go through the same thing... tends to light a fire under people. Make them want to support each other in spite of potential consequences. And there are really only two other people on these ships that I feel would be able to understand that it's just the same imperialistic mindset projected onto another arbitrarily and unjustly perceived by said imperialistic mindset as lesser. One of them by direct understanding, and the other because he's a wise old goat who has seen this happen to people he adores before and understands.

[randomguyno3462]

TL;DNR: the queer representation in Dion's character is so amazingly well done not only because it takes a backseat in the story, but also because it still ties into his characterization and the general themes that drive him. It normalizes queer relationships without being just a superfluous detail.

I've seen a lot of comments about how Dion being gay is a very small part of his character and how his sexuality being such a non-issue in the story of the game is great representation. And I agree, it's awesome to normalize queer relationships instead of using them as a plot device for drama.

BUT

I'd like to point out that the gay representation in Dion's character writing is (at least in my opinion) EVEN BETTER THAN THAT. Because I have seen other queer characters whose sexuality had no big part in the plot, and if it's done lazily, it can feel kind of superfluous and out of place. Like the writers screaming 'look, look, we are so inclusive, we have this token queer character, look, are you happy now?'. And I get that people are happy about seeing ANY representation at all. But it's so much better when it's done right, and generally I think that any element of a story should be there for a reason.

Leading back to Dion. Story wise, his sexuality has absolutely no influence. But I think that it fits beautifully with the main themes of his character. His character writing up until Twinside is basically: he is being introduced as the perfect prince; a strong leader, a beacon of hope, a loyal son. And then the game spends every following scene that features him slowly dismantling that image. He is actually the lesser loved of two sons, he is at odds with his step-mother, his father treats him like a tool, he does not agree with the empire's course of action, he is a bastard... his theme is that he is constantly at odds with the image he projects to the public and what his father wants him to be, until finally he can't keep it up anymore.

His relationship with Terence fits so well into that theme because 1) he has a relationship at all, which means that his loyalties are divided (even though we know he would choose his duty over his own happiness) and him being the prince stands at odds with something he wants for himself. 2) it's a relationship with his direct subordinate, which would be scandalous at best. 3) finally, it's a relationship with a man, and while we don't know the general sentiment towards queer relationships in Sanbreque, we can assume that as part of the royal family a relationship that can not produce an heir or at least bring political advantages would not be approved of (plus I think we can agree that Anabella would be a raging homophobe). With all that, Terence is one of the least desirable partners for someone of Dion's station, barring someone of lower economical status. Still, we see their relationship being a part of his daily life, and something he pours his heart into as much as he can.

It all fits so well into Dion's characterization, but it's so subtle that it's still a side note in the bigger whole. And I think that's how you do perfect representation, by tying it into the character without making a big deal of it. Love it.

!!!🏳️‍🌈

[fagetwrites]

random thoughts & headcanons on the emotional needs that D/s fills for my dragon age blorbos, inspired by this post. (Can you tell I've thought way more about Fenris' sexual tastes than anyone else?)

Fenris

Dom-as-shadow (in the shadow work sense). He likes to play the part of master, owner, terrible evil magister because he knows he is not that and was at the behest of those who were that very thing for most of his life. He craves the power of it, of turning it around and treating someone like the scum under his foot. The meaning of the words he spews are wildly changed by the fact he is a former slave elf saying them.

Sub-as-blankspace. He is a bundle of trauma and anxiety and aggression and he would like to stop thinking for a second, please, for the love of the Maker. This often ends up being very similar to rites of his actual slavery, as they are conditioned into him and he is familiar with them so he has no need to think, only obey. But he finds a certain freedom in the act of submitting by his own will - he has no master, because no slave would do it willingly.

Also bits of dom-as-whumper, as I always feel he has a massive sadomasochistic streak. When subbing, he flip flops around wanting to be a beloved pet who will always be cherished and loved and wanting to have his worst fears about his worth confirmed and be treated as a lesser being.

Anders

Dom-as-control. He has spent a lifetime being controlled by outside forces, from the Circle to the Wardens to the material conditions of Kirkwall. He needs to have control over something, someone, and be able to do exactly what he wants and how he wants it.

Dom or sub-as-service. On the other side, he is very much guided by his partners' needs and ends up wholly focused on them, sometimes to an almost self-injuring extent. He wants to be good!

Zevran

Dom-as-nurturer, 100%. He wants to take care of people and be good for people but has no idea how and is not particularly allowed to most of the time. And so when he dominates in the bedroom he wants to be nice and kind and loving, as much as possible and as much as his partner wants. There's a big streak of service going through him as well.

Also big taboo breaker vibes! He likes to mess with what is "not allowed" and make it allowed, it gets a thrill through his spine, although there are few things that are still taboo to him thanks to his upbringing - this mostly sets on his partner's own sentiments of what is taboo.

Dorian

Sub-as-brat. It's mostly about the not being discarded even if he's being difficult and the fact his partner is good enough at it to deal with him and put him in his place, I think. I don't know, I haven't rotated him enough in my brain.

[furiousmoneysuitcaseturtle]

i don't like the hypocrisy in most left wing movements. there's others but the most obvious example is gender. it's all body positivity until a sexist dude happens to be bald / balding.

obv this is not all women and maybe it's terminally online, but I see a lot of sentiment that men still need to pay for shit because "it will always end up that women do the housework and men expect x y z so they need to make up for it" like decide what you want??? maybe don't date or marry men like that then??

like i would rly rather stay single or just date a dude (im bi) than be expected to be some kind of financial provider and protector for a woman because i actually see women as equal instead of lesser beings that need protection... it's not about the money it's the fact that 99% of the time if a woman expects a dude to be a financial provider she then will also have other sexist expectations.

granted i can be quite shit at housework so if there's a discussion around that where i pay more bc of an uneven split there then that's fine and a different matter to unspoken hetero ass expectations.

there's kinda the argument like "we should be equal but the reality is we aren't so the dude should pay, we spend money on makeup only to appeal to men so they should pay" etc etc... then find someone who treats you as equal... if you don't want to wear makeup then don't fucking wear it to appease a potential partner? (economic necessity to get a leg up in jobs is totally unfair and that one i understand).

ig i don't understand like why are u doing all this shit you don't want to do in order to get a partner and then saying they have to pay for it cause u did stuff they never forced u to. like if that's how u feel why do u even want to get married?

i wld genuinely rather stay single. like I'm pretty ugly so it's hard to meet ppl but ive legit walked out of hookups/dates who pushed my clear preestablished boundaries. even incl someone who was perfect in all other ways. cz i wld rather b single and do what i want than compromise myself to the point i feel the other person has to pay more to make it worth being w them. like i legitimately would rather kill myself than do that, im not even saying that to be combative or drive my point, it's just the straight up truth. i would rather fucking die. than be tied for the REST OF MY LIFE to someone i have to unwillingly change for.

[simpleblue9]

I love things that people feel lesser than about. I root? route not sure which it is atm but I always or very often feel for things even winter and the cold. I know people don’t share my sentiments but sometimes I get personally upset / like feel worldly sad that time away from the sun or the temperature changing giving sooo many people a negative or depressed feeling/ disposition/displeasure. Things and comments that are often meant to bring people together or create commonality often make me feel note isolated in who I am. I love the winter, rain, cold, ice, not seeing the sun, all of that. I think it stems from seeing people unhappy or that people just anticipate feeling bad and I want to change or affect that in a positive way. It’s s pretty silly how people talking about the weather or that simply them saying something feels less good than other things can at times rock me to the core. I know I’m quirky and feel like coming to the aid of the misunderstood, the less than, I even feel that way about things or tasks. Not just people but when people talk about hating certain tasks or activities I then like automatically feel for whatever is being treated with some form of negativity. It’s like I feel sad for things whenever they ate unloved or under appreciated. It’s good to write this stuff out, and yet it puts me all in the feels and makes me think how I take things soo literally, so seriously. And then also the exact opposite as well. It’s confusing frustrating emotionally draining and yet it is me. Healing for myself and healing for what/whoever feels hurt. Its exhausting sometimes and yet it makes me feel human, which is something I also sometimes struggle feeling like.

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 14 October 1954

Well, we're back to one song, but it's by Doris Day, who's been a firm favourite every time she's appeared until now - at least in her solo songs. So I'm feeling pretty good about this song?

If I Give My Heart to You - Doris Day (peaked at No. 4)

Doris is credited with her backing singers here, the Mellomen (good name for a group). I'm expecting quite a backing-heavy track then, and the introduction doesn't disappoint, with some excellent proto-doo-wop "boo-boo-boo-boo-boom" bits. It would normally be silly, but it just about works here, especially because it doesn't continue for the full song.

No, instead they fall away as Doris gets going, asking her love "If I give my heart to you / Will you handle it with care? / Will you always treat me tenderly / And in every way be fair?" What this says to me, reading between the lines, is that Doris has been burnt before - why else would she be so cautious now?

Her voice is as lovely as ever, and really sells the sadness in the song, but it's never overwrought or dramatic. Instead, there's a quiet sort of steadiness to it. She's hopeful that her love might say yes, but she's still holding back, in case the answer's no.

There are all these lovely jazzy touches, meanwhile - a quiet, jazzy bit of saxophone here, some smooth backing vocals there, even a marimba nearer the end. It's nice.

Doris wants her love to "sigh with me when I'm sad / Smile with me when I'm glad" which is a sweet and very reasonable request. It also makes me think of the lyrics to Little Things Mean a Lot, about wanting a love to be with you through thick and thin. There's a touch of the wedding vows to it, a "for better or for worse" sentiment that's really very romantic.

And again, I feel sorry for Doris again, as she encourages her love to "Think it over and be sure / Please don't answer till you do / When you promise all those things to me / Then I'll give my heart to you ". She's being so careful, and there's got to be a story there - has she been promised things rashly before? She's not able to throw herself into it, for fear of heartbreak - which is a tragedy in and of itself.

I feel like I've constructed a whole narrative around this, and I was sure that with Doris singing, it might be from a film, but no, this is apparently just a regular old single. So it's probably a sign that it's a fairly strong song that I've been able to read so much into it.

Awww, I just want to give Doris a hug! I hope her love interest did look after her heart, after this.

I like this song a lot - highly recommended listening, as a possibly lesser-known Doris Day hit. I feel like it also has potential to be used in a film, or something similar, just because of the character dynamics it conjures up? Or perhaps I'm reading too much into it, you be the judge. Either way...

Favourite song of the overly-cautious bunch: If I Give My Heart to You

[nachosforfree]

Shout out to aro people who DO show little emotion, who do have low empathy, who are monotonous, who do relate to robotic characters on a level other than the fact robot characters often don't feel romantic attraction

[sepublic]

Willow’s Arc

I love you Amity, but did anyone else lowkey get micro aggression vibes from this? Amity unintentionally yet condescendingly downplaying Willow’s feat as just luck?

And I think that makes sense, and shows how Willow contrasts with Amity in terms of goals and how they were framed by others... Like Luz and Lilith, Amity was someone who was worried about her magic never being good enough, particularly in living up to Odalia’s standards. And like those aforementioned two, Amity accepts that her magic doesn’t need to be strong as a reflection of her self-worth, Amity doesn’t need to be useful, and fittingly she’s the weakest of Luz’s friends, relatively speaking. Amity is content with any power level, and likewise so are Luz and Lilith, who are also among the weaker scale of our protagonists; Again, comparatively speaking.

Willow, on the other hand... As alluded to by Gus saying Willow wants others to see the REAL her, I think Willow is someone who always wanted that skill and power of hers recognized. It’s not that Willow thinks her self-worth is tied to being strong; But at the same time, honing that magic of hers and being recognized for it also means a lot to her as well! For years, Willow was essentially gaslit into thinking her abilities were lesser than they actually were, and her arc comes in reiterating that no; People are wrong. Willow’s assessment of her strength IS real and valid, as is her self-efficacy!

Because I’m sure if someone (say Amity) were to reassure that Willow doesn’t NEED to be strong to be treated as a person... Again, Willow recognizes the kind and unconditional sentiment. But at the same time, it still stems from that misconception that Willow IS weak, and she’s tired of people constantly downplaying and dismissing her accomplishments. Like yes she’s more than that, but it also means a lot to her too, as Willow herself has decided and chosen for herself? At best this evaluation of Willow is unskilled leads to that type of well-meaning yet condescending reassurance, the implicit acceptance that Willow actually isn’t strong.

And that’s a big part of Willow’s motives; Not wanting to be misjudged, as Any Sport in a Storm established! She likes being treated with kindness and dignity but she also doesn’t want to be misunderstood as someone she’s not, either; Gus beats himself up for accepting a portrayal of Willow that’s meek and scared, which obviously there’s a lot of meta about how he knew Willow as that for most of their friendship, and is a naturally trusting person who would believe that type of relapse and not judge.

But as Gus himself reiterated, Willow’s arc is about showing her real self, the self that was always there and people pretended it wasn’t. Hence Inner Willow lamenting that she once WAS Willow, until Amity’s torment skewed with Willow’s perception of herself as a capable individual who just needs to be given the chance to flourish, where she actually would. Willow is chosen by Clover when she states that she wants to be strong and supportive of her friends; It’s very much her chosen goal and not just to prove others wrong.

Again, to bring back that micro aggression comparison. It’s like how people of color and/or women want to be treated with respect and dignity; Speaking personally, it’s not enough for white people to be nice and patient with us, if they still kinda see us as lesser. There’s a reason why the white man’s burden is criticized, why we despise stereotypes. Yeah one might say “It’s okay if you’re not skilled”, but if it’s a white person saying that to a peer of color who very much IS skilled and is only unrecognized due to implicit racial biases... Yeah, that’s not gonna feel great, it’s kinda missing the obvious point.

(And for the love of god I’m not saying Amity is racist because she technically can’t be. Racism doesn’t exist in the isles, so at most this could be meant to invoke similarities as a metaphor, but that’s it. Like how Odalia canonically isn’t homophobic -that also doesn’t exist in the isles- but her disapproval of Luz, in contrast to Alador saying she’s always welcome, is very much meant to parallel coming out stories and the backlash of literal homophobia VS acceptance. And even if Amity was being racist, it’s ultimately fine because she’s called out over this and learning to be better.)

Any kindness will be undermined if there’s still that core underestimation going on, which can also tie into ableism as well! We appreciate the support and patience but at some point, we really need you to believe in us, instead of always seeing us as that weak person who needs help! I don’t care if you don’t judge us for needing help, there’s still an issue in how you see us. This can very much be compared to Luz’s conflict with Eda the very next episode, too;

Luz knows full and well that Eda loves and respects her regardless of talent or skill, she’s made that incredibly clear since the start. But it still hurts to be seen as weak and unable to take care of yourself nor contribute, regardless. There’s that lack of trust and belief in a loved one to take care of themselves, and that in itself is a lack of support; Like yes, Eda is valid in that she’s not doing this to belittle Luz, but because not even the greatest child should handle this. But Luz’s feelings are also valid as well.

She wants to be seen as dependable, and make up for her ‘weakness’ in Grom. She wants support not just in care but in belief that she can do it. And I know I said earlier that Luz is someone who accepts that her magic doesn’t have to be strong, but to reiterate; Luz accepts that she doesn’t have to be the best. But she still wants to be seen as good enough to help, too. And Luz accepted her relative weakness at the start of her journey, because she didn’t need to place pressure on herself when she’s still starting, even if behind others.

But circumstances have changed with Luz managing to grow and become strong as she wanted to, which is why her reaction shifts to seeing Eda as dismissing Luz as still that same old weak kid she once was, and not acknowledging that she HAS grown; Which hurts, because learning magic still means a lot to Luz, and like Lilith excelling in glyphs... Yes you don’t have to be the best but everyone needs a win at some point, too. Your self worth isn’t attached to that but is it also too much to ask to be really good at something just this once, either?

“After years of thinking I wasn’t good enough, I finally found something I can be good at. Something I want to be good at! Switching to the plant track was just the beginning; I’m on my way to becoming the witch I want to be! I can do this!”

And the same applies for Willow but on a larger scale, to bring things full-circle as Luz had said during her episode as well. I find it fitting that Luz and Willow became immediate friends, as was Gus for both girls as well! And I’ve talked a lot about how Gus has self-image issues regarding his magic and his ability, underestimating himself as dumb when he very much isn’t... Which again you can probably see why telling Gus that it’s okay if he’s dumb is very much NOT the solution to this particular example of self-deprecation. Gus also wants to have his magic recognized and meaningful, he doesn’t HAVE to be in order to be treated with respect, but at the same time he doesn’t appreciate people lowballing illusions either!

So to bring it back, Amity and Willow just have a fascinating duality. Amity is someone set up and expected to be the best and the pressure causes her to crack, hence her breakdown when Willow gets Hermonculus’ top student star over her. But Amity eventually realizes she doesn’t want to be the best and finds relief in the humility of just being good enough for herself.

Conversely, Willow is someone constantly labelled as ineffectual, until she believed it and let that affect her self-image, as well as any attempts to grow if she’s never going to succeed; She became resigned to and content with this, never yearning for more. But Willow is eventually reminded that she IS capable in many ways, that people’s misunderstanding of her doesn’t decide who she is nor erase that; And that emboldens Willow to actually try and reach for that greatness she desires and embrace her actual self, finally succeeding in becoming who she wanted to be.

Hence Willow self-actualizing in what she’s actually good at via Plants, instead of being seen as a weak Abomination witch; Which while true is hardly a representation of Willow as a whole. Just as “Willow doesn’t have to be strong to be treated with respect” is true but doesn’t quite capture her goals and arc, but “No matter how others perceive her, Willow’s abilities are real and she CAN accomplish what she sets out to do” does. Willow had bad luck being placed into an ill-fitting environment for her she couldn’t do well in, and her failure in that context made people assume it applied to Willow as a whole, when it really didn’t.

Willow just wants others to see her for who she actually is, instead of focusing on being nice to a version of her in their heads that doesn’t exist; She once lost sight of herself but regained it, symbolically reflected in Willow’s glasses being given a golden trim. She finally found the thing she was good at, instead of letting past failures define her... Willow and Amity both struggled with being someone others saw/expected them to be that they weren’t, and were finally able to reconcile the discrepancy to reiterate who they really are and want to be.

[squadrah]

From My CuriousCat

"Some Illuso headcanons maybe? And his dynamics with the rest of La Squadra?"

I have a big headcanon post on Illuso and Man in the Mirror on Tumblr, so first I will link that here if anyone is curious!

(A fair warning to anyone wanting to read more of these posts: some of them are outdated by now - as in, my feelings or views have changed -, and I actually have a multichap on Ao3 for analyzing La Squadra Stands, so I recommend that instead! Not complete yet, and for our present purposes it does not have a chapter on Man In The Mirror, but in time I hope to cover everyone.)

With that out of the way, here we go! To my mind, Illuso is a rather complex and somewhat problematic individual, but undoubtedly one of the lesser evils on the Hitman Team. From his arc, I gather he has never actually killed anyone before, not intentionally and personally at least, else he would not have held back or stalled with Fugo and Abbacchio, respectively. Nevertheless, for someone who has less on his conscience than Risotto Nero for instance, he still seems laden with a lot of issues that he isn't able to keep under lock and key like the others do. When I said one time that he had ten times as many phobias as the others, I meant that I saw him as someone with not only a host of fears, but also an inferiority and persecution complex. I tend to take these headcanons from Stand design, and Man In The Mirror basically sounds like a cry for help: it grants Illuso autonomy and control over a space mirroring a real world space that he probably has zero control over.

I also mentioned microwave mug cuisine in several places because it's something I could see Illuso doing as a person who is trying to be self-sufficient and self-sufficient only. A pot of ragú simmering on the stove implies that there is enough to go around, while a single microwave mug cake clearly says "This is just for me." This also ties into that previous part about autonomy: with limited effort, Illuso can have control over his portions and who gets to have them. That said, I feel like he would sometimes make these in the community microwave, just to hammer it home that he has something the other could covet, but isn't sharing it. He wants to make it look that he has something desirable, even though he is perfectly aware that he is being ridiculous.

I think the same thing can also be said about his dynamics with the others, namely the anime scene of him antagonizing Formaggio. I know that it's easy and convenient to treat Formaggio as the underdog, mainly because Araki also has him express such a sentiment, but logically, he would be anything but because his Stand ability is incredibly useful for the team. Want to get inside a place undetected? He can shrink you so you can enter through a keyhole or the smallest cracks. Need to transport dead bodies, equipment or anything plundered? Shrink and pocket it all! However, Illuso happens to have a Stand that can also be used for the same purposes, as he can enter a place through a reflective surface, or banish dead bodies and other objects to the mirror world... which means that Illuso is the only La Squadra member not dependent on Formaggio, and therefore feels at ease mocking him; in a sense, he is the only one Illuso has any right to tease (excluding Pesci because it would only lead to harangues from Prosciutto, and nobody wants that.)

That's it for now, I hope you enjoyed these!

[dumping-ideas]

Warning! IDOLiSH7 part 5 spoiler

Thank you, So-chan, for representing my current emotion.

Every IDOLiSH7 story update always left me breathless, and Part 5 climax is no exception.

Re:vale's relationship is very stable as of now, and I think that stability is important going forward, both for themselves and for supporting their juniors. I'm glad Momo and Yuki communicate better now, let's hope that they keep it that way.

ZOOL's bond just keep getting stronger now that they have a supportive manager by their side. Utsugi is truly the person they need. Also, past me wouldn't have guessed that now I think of ZOOL as cute kids (or a guy with jealous girls for a harem lol). However, Tora and to a lesser extend Mina still have their own hung-ups that they need to resolve (probably in part 6).

And TRIGGER... Holy shit. Gaku and Ryuu, while they had their own struggles, are such sturdy presences that they could support each other and especially Tenn in those difficult times. I always have a hard time talking about them (compared to ZOOL and Re:vale) not because I dislike them, but because they understand themselves the best.

As for Tenn, I'm glad he has Ryuu and Gaku. It's been such a slow progress to make him able to rely on other people, but he did. And he opened up about his struggle as Riku's big brother. FINALLY! It's a sentiment that I've felt over and over, but it's good that he has older people around him who treat him both as their equal and younger. Because he relied on them, Tenn was finally able to help Takamasa to part with Zero.

I'm super satisfied with the resolution to Takamasa's plot thread. The fact that it needs TRIGGER, not just Tenn, for him to be able to say goodbye to his dear friends is amazing. I'm also glad that everyone who has beef with Takamasa is able to symphatize with him because they understand the feeling of being left behind. It's such a perfect conclusion, and it's only possible because of TRIGGER's determination. They're super cool! As expected of TRIGGER!! TRIGGER IS THE BEST!!!

Meanwhile, IDOLISH7... Hoo boy, not gonna lie but I'm worried about them. At the end of part 5, Re:vale, ZOOL, and TRIGGER are in a condition where they will be okay going forward in part 6 (except if there's a new conflict). But IDOLiSH7 is unrevealing at the seams now.

I'm not worried about Phytag trio, because Yama-san, Nagi, and Mitsu have found their strengths. I think I can safely say that Yama-san is out of the woods now as he has made peace with himself regarding Chiba Shizuo. And while Nagi is still mourning Haruki, his healing is progressing nicely. Plus, his relationship with Seto has gotten better. Their character developments are important because I know their reliability will be needed as well because we've seen how Mitsu's character development affects Iori and his decision-making.

The pandora box which contains Iori helping with producing IDOLiSH7 and controlling Riku is something that a lot of managers (including me) thought would blow up in everyone's face since part 1 (and especially part 3). Iori had warned Tsumugi multiple times to keep it a secret, because he knew it would hurt Mitsu again. He also told Riku to keep it a secret because he knew "controlling" Riku wouldn't be taken so well.

But we underestimated Mitsu.

Because Mitsu has learned to appreciate and love himself (which took him until part 5), he can see others' actions more objectively without his lack of self-esteem hindering him. He can see now that Iori is only trying to help everyone in a way he knows best. Mitsu understands Iori and himself. He even admitted that he would be pissed if Iori had said it sooner, but because Iori said it now he can realize that Iori kept it a secret because Iori doesn't want the past to repeat again--because his little brother is scared of his anger.

Iori didn't realize how much Mitsu has grown, and neither did most of us, me included. Mitsu's belief in Iori made Iori spilled literally everything about what he did--although he only keeps the controlling Riku part to himself, Riku, and Mitsu (compared to how he revealed his involvement with IDOLiSH7 production). While Mitsu has his reservations ("'control' isn't a word you use to talk about someone..."), he believes Iori also only wants the best for Riku and IDOLiSH7.

The domino effect for this is Iori telling the truth to Riku, which is the possibility that Tenn might be in danger at the opening night for the musical Zero. He learned that it's better to take risks rather than Riku losing trust in him in the future. He learned from Mitsu's reaction, that maybe telling the truth isn't as scary as he thought it would be. Sure, Riku almost had an attack from the shock of the news, but Riku gave control to Iori who prove that he could do it just fine--calming Riku down while simultaneously explaining his thoughts.

As of now, Iori's control over Riku is still a good thing, but I'm worried unlike Producer Iori, this one would bite everyone in the butt. Thinking about how they write the reveal of Producer Iori as not a big deal, I'm scared that they're giving us a false sense of peace to just drop a nuclear bomb on us later.

I'm kind of worried about MEZZO", especially Tama. My heart physically hurts when I hear him think about how unfair it is for So-chan to have repaired family bonds and dreams while he has nothing (as expected of KENN's voice acting skill). He doesn't resent So-chan, but he can't help but feel jealous. But that jealousy isn't an ugly thing, as it motivates him to look for his passion. And he found it--dancing. He wants to be better so he can support IDOLiSH7 better. But that means he needs to leave IDOLiSH7 temporarily.

I hope it'll go like Producer Iori reveal, which is something that we thought would be disastrous but apparently not, but I'm also worried about So-chan. So-chan is still taking baby steps in improving his family relationships and pursuing his dreams, and if his biggest supporter leave I don't know how it might affect him. Maybe it'll make him stronger because he wants to make Tama proud, or maybe it'll make him waver because he doesn't have anyone he can be honest with. Ugh... I thought they're gonna be fine but apparently not.

Now, for the twins, I'm super glad that they finally made up. It's been such an up-and-down ride with those two since part 1, but it always hurt whenever they pass each other. In trying to protect Riku, Tenn pushed him away. In turn, it made Riku lashed out at Tenn. Tenn's actions and Riku's reactions are understandable but that doesn't mean it's okay. It's painful how they keep hurting each other because they care. But after finally fulfilling their childhood wish, the both of them has genuinely exchanged "I'm sorry"s and "I love you"s--and peacefully said goodbye to Nanase twins.

There had been Nanase Tenn and Nanase Riku before, but that twins are gone. Now, they are TRIGGER's Kujo Tenn and IDOLiSH7's Nanase Riku.

It's such a bittersweet resolution, and it's a conclusion to the twins' story that I know most (if not all) managers have predicted. After all, when they first reunite in part 1, Tenn and Riku both acknowledged each other as rivals. It's one thing to know that there's no Nanase twins anymore, but it's another to accept it. The both of them knew that they're not the same people as they were before, but their deep-seated wish on wanting to be that Nanase twins were still present all the way until Part 5 climax.

Now, Riku knows that Tenn is never the invincible big brother and Tenn knows that Riku is strong enough to protect him in return.

That doesn't mean that they'll treat each other as strangers. On the contrary, I can say that their relationship will be stronger--because they don't have their regret chaining them. They can support each other because they can see each other's weaknesses and strengths--although it may be another story because Tenn still wants to look cool in front of Riku and Riku likes to be spoiled by Tenn.

(Also, their duet is so beautiful. Saito Soma and Ono Kensho delivered as Tenn and Riku. I've been waiting for their duet since 2018 and I finally get it. Maybe after this they'll give us the long-awaited MechaLulla duet...)

Although Riku's conflict with Tenn has been resolved, his personal conflict just keeps compiling like a mountain. It's kind of harrowing because while Riku is always trying to be optimistic, he has these negative thoughts that just never go away. At least his guilt about Tenn has been appeased. But now that Riku has seen the scenery of "the last stage", and his repeated thoughts about how IDOLiSH7 is an eternity in a moment, I wonder how he'll go from here on out. He's okay right now because he has IDOLiSH7 and especially Iori, but it's pretty telling that they didn't show his reaction about moving out of the dorm. Adding it with Tamaki possibly going abroad, I'm afraid of the impact these changes will do to Riku. Especially if what my sister (who has a degree in psychology so her opinion isn't baseless) said about Riku possibly having depression since part 4 is any indication.

(Oh my god, as a Riku oshi I can't stand this!! They've been beating Riku on the head since part 1!! Riku is strong, I know that, but he's also fragile!! He already let go of Nanase Tenn, what more do you want?! I can't take this anymore. I just want to see Riku and everyone happy...)

Well, that being said, I'll still patiently wait for Part 6!