#and i find them both a bit embarrassing sometimes but thats just the nature of it all lmao

[menlove]

younger adults/almost adults pretend like ppl over like 24 who don't talk/dress/act like 19 year olds are embarrassing and it's like idk how to tell u this man but i actually don't Want to sound/look like people younger than me that's actually probably good and you won't want to sound/look like a teenager when ur 25 either man. you'll keep talking & dressing like you do & younger kids will start talking in some way you think is cringe and the cycle will move on and you'll be old and uncool and you'll look around at the ppl your age who are desperately trying to pretend they're still 18 and realize they're actually like 50x more embarrassing

[hauntedjpegcollection]

baldur's hero

wc: 3253 au: baldurs gate au ch: xavier, benji

Xavier rarely goes to the courtyard without purpose.

It’s too noisy with too many people and never enough room to breathe—the restoration to the gate had been beautiful to witness. To be a part of, even. But years since the destruction and the noise has returned, like birds returning to the skies or brooks bubbling once more. It was in full swing everywhere but especially in The Heroes Yard. Blooming gardens surround marble statues, lovingly tended by a circle of druids that helped Baldur’s Gate and then never left the city. Their constant humming—occassional singing, even chanting—was the undercurrent to people.

He dodges a throng of young mages in electric colored robes, as they’re lead through a trail by a wizened teacher. She knocks her cane against a statue here and there, imparting wisdom to the sleepy group who follow dutifully. Xavier deftly bends and snags a scroll thats slipped free of one pupil. When he winks to her, she blushes all the way to pointed blue ears and covers her smile with a clawed hand. There’s not a hint of recognition about her silver eyes, just amusement and maybe embarrassment as she tucks herself back in with her group.

It’s nice not to be known. There is no statue of Xavier in this yard. But—he does find the one he’s looking for.

It’s only just past a lovely fountain. A popular spot, where people gather to idle free time. It is rarely empty. Sometimes, Xavier wishes he could have been part of the decision making process that went into this particular statue’s placement. It feels only right, after all, that maybe he should have been able to direct the artist who’d captured his husbands likeness.

“Sorry, I’m late,” Xavier says to the life sized rendition, taller than him only because it sits atop a pedestal. Benji’s pose is hilariously stiff, not just because he’s made of marble. Whoever had been commissioned to fill The Heroes Yard must have spent at least some time with Benji. They’d gotten the heavy set to his brow, the uncomfortable placement of crossed arms, his grimacing (but gorgeous) mouth. A stranger might look at him and find his stance confident, boastful. Strong in the face of adversary. Chin tilted back to survey the very city he’d saved.

Only, there has been an addition to the statue. A fuzzy black mustache made of felt has been taped to it, covering the natural stones rendition of Benji’s actual facial hair. It’s a bit lopsided, admittedly silly looking. Makes Xavier grin staring up at it. But it’s hard not to grin at Benji, even if this isn’t actually Benji.

He sits down at the edge of the pedestal, rustling through his coat pocket for the mutton sandwich he’d brought himself. It’s been hastily wrapped in yesterdays news paper, oil making it translucent here and there in little dots. They have too many copies, because Benji cannot stop himself from purchasing a page from every young busker on the street. So they mill about their home, hoping not just for a glimpse of the hero, but some of his coin.

“I always add too much oil to these,” Xavier complains quietly to himself and to Benji’s hero statue. “What I wouldn’t give for a curry.”

It’s been some time since Benji’s left, so he fends for himself in the kitchen. It’s a lonely part of their home now. But that’s Harper business. Xavier doesn’t ask. Not because he doesn’t want to know but—

They’ve had more than one fight about Harper business. The old argument that maybe Benji should retire, should simply stay home and find something worthwhile, something heroic here has been shelved for some time now. They don’t argue that one anymore, because Xavier understands that one better. The need to be doing something. The need to be helping. But the renewed and much debated (hotly, with both of them saying things sharper than they mean) is about Xavier’s safety.

Because is is safer for Xavier to not know the details. However, a part of him itches for someone to think of him as Benji’s weak spot and come looking for an easy belly to cut open. Xavier is no longer a paladin (if one ever stops truly being a paladin), but that doesn’t mean his hands don’t sometimes ache for the hilt of a sword.

The sandwich is still good, even if it has far too much oil on it. He leans back against one of Benji’s marbled legs, one of his own tucked up. He stares out across a pretty horizon overlooking the ocean that runs up against Baldur’s Gate. Xavier misses his tiny fishing village sometimes, especially when there’s all this noise (lovers laughing as they sit by the fountain and hold hands, a baby crying loud in it’s mothers arm as she shows the faces of countless, timeless heroes, the wizard and her students). He closes his eyes and enjoys the sun.

“Oi!”

Xavier blinks and looks to the side. Then adjusts his gaze much lower so he can look at this intruding stranger properly.

“You do that?” the tiefling looks furious, pointing at the statue he leans against. Xavier follows the child’s finger up to Benji’s face and the terrible mustache.

“What?”

“Y’think that’s funny then, do ya? Defacin’ a hero like that?” if Xavier were standing, the tiefling would come up to his waist. If that. He’s small, with just the barest hint of horns. A dark umber color, with dots all over his face and bare arms. His eyes are shockingly yellow, the kind that glow a bit when the sun hits them properly. Xavier tilts his head and then looks up to the statue, and then back down to the tiefling.

“This guy?” He jerks his thumb back at Benji with a smile. The tiefling’s face floods darkly, clawed hands balling into little fists at his sides.

“That guy! You new to the gate, half elf? That tief’s a hero, I said.” The child enunciates the word hero so hard it feels like he’s trying to cast a spell with it. He’s slight, but not not waifish, nor is he unkempt. Xavier remembers the refugees. No one could forget the refugees—no one with a heart, anyway. The outpouring of orphaned children, many of them just like this one. But Benji’s fan wears clean clothes and good shoes. His curly black hair is combed back, even if it also fans out around him messily.

“You don’t say,” Xavier ponders, glancing over his shoulder. He’s trying hard not to smile, brushing his hands together to clear his palms of crumbs. “He your idol or something?”

“That’s none of your business.” The little boy adopts Benji’s posture, arms crossed over his chest. He has a dangling earring that is silver, in an interesting snowflake design. Xavier slowly slides his way off the pedestal and stands. As he does, the tiefling child stutters back a bit. He blinks up and up until his head is nearly tilted all the way back—despite that, he still glowers, even if it’s less pointed now.

“What did he do that was so important?”

Xavier watches the tiefling climb his way onto the pedestal. He clings arms around Benji’s statue to keep himself upright. Xavier’s hands begin to raise on reflex, but he quickly lowers them when the child looks his way. However, when he turns back and starts awkwardly trying to snatch at the mustache, Xavier’s hands return to a safe distance. If the boy fell and broke his elbow all because of a mustache that Benji himself had slapped onto the statue, his husband would be distraught about it for weeks.

“They not teach history lessons where you’re from?” the boy asks, grunting with effort and an outstretched hand. The way Benji’s arms are crossed make it difficult for his short arms to reach. “Alright, how about this? A trade?”

“Oh?”

“I’ll tell you the story if you get this blasted mustache off him—s’not right! No one messes with the statue of Gale Dekarios.” He says the mans name with a haughty, sniffling air. Xavier has to bite his lip not to laugh.

“Not a fan of the famed Wizard of Waterdeep?”

“You wouldn’t get it. People are always tellin’ the stories of human men. All the time. Had to hear about them my whole life growin’ up. Even elves, yeah? Even half elves. No ‘fense to you.”

“None taken.”

Xavier understands what the boy means.

Gale was a handsome human man who did not want to save Baldur’s Gate—or maybe he did. Maybe his ideas would have saved the gate and the people within the city. But what would have become of the human man, with all that power? And when did Gale’s desire to save the city become more about wanting the power? No one else knew that story, because Benji was good. Benji was a hero, who didn’t go telling people the truth. That Gale Dekarios, whose statue was never defaced, wanted to take that stupid fucking crown for himself.

He breathes deeply to avoid letting himself get lost back in that day. It’s not what he’d come to the yard for. He’d come, because he’d missed his partner and wanted to see his face, even if it was a marbled version.

“Alright, son,” Xavier says, stepping forward. He takes the tiefling by the hips and gently picks him up. The boy weighs practically nothing and he’s easily set back down on the ground. He doesn’t protest. For a moment, Xavier can imagine a father doing exactly this. Taking a rowdy child and hoisting them around. There’s a twinge inside his chest. Children with parents. How special that it’s not a novel idea anymore.

“Tell me the story then. Benji, right? One of Baldur’s heroes?” He hefts himself up onto the pedestal and throws a lazy arm around the statue’s waist. He can briefly imagine himself doing the same to the real Benji. How warm he’d feel, snug against him. How good he would smell—like healing herbs and something spiced, like a hint of rain or the promise of rain. Xavier stares down into the statue’s eyes.

I miss you, he thinks fondly, smiling. It feels good to miss you, it reminds me of before. A letter sits inside his coat as well. Just like before. He’d meant to drop it at the post before coming to the yard, but he’d been hungry.

The tiefling boy begins telling Xavier the tale. Some parts are wildly exaggerated—Benji rode a dragon, he dual wielded maces blessed by Tyr himself (Lathander, forgive him, Xavier laughs internally). Some are painfully true, like his one mystical hazel eye, the long draw of a scar down the middle of it.

“Mm, he didn’t get the scar from the eye,” Xavier comments softly, finally plucking the mustache free. He cannot stop himself from pressing a swift, chaste kiss to the statues cheek and then hopping down to the ground. The heavy sound of his body makes the tiefling jump back, though Xavier lands perfectly with knees bent. He rises slowly, holding up the mustache with a toothy grin. The boy is blushing even harder than he was in anger.

“He’s married, y’know,” Benji’s fan snorts, pointing to the statue. “Heard his husband’s ferocious—seven a half feet tall with a sword that calls lightning. They say he killed Ketheric Thorm—but I don’t believe that.”

Not just me. It is rarely just one person who kills a God.

“That’s good. Shouldn’t believe everything you hear. It was Dame Aylin that killed Ketheric.” Let her have the glory; she deserved it. Xavier toys with the plain silver wedding band on his finger. He feels a roll of nausea from the memory of Ketheric Thorm, but it is an ancient hurt, a cold and dead fear that he’s mostly grown free of.

“No. It was Karlach Cliffgate—you’ve pro’lly never heard of her, ‘cause she’s another tiefling.” The boy turns his nose up, snorting contemptuously. Xavier does not tell the young boy that Karlach had not been there for that particular fight, but instead a powerful and terrifying Githyanki woman, who stories do not tell of frequently enough for his liking. But that was history.

Favoring the Gale’s of the story—even glorifying Xavier to a seven foot lightning wielding paladin, though nameless as he was.

“You know,” Xavier says contemplatively. “I bet, whoever keeps putting these up there does it early in the morning. Probably right before dawn, so no one can see.”

His thoughts ease into the memory of Benji, the sunlight not even peeking over the horizon yet. The window to their bedroom open, because they’d secured a spot by the water and the smell of it comforted Xavier. Their hands on each other, touching faces or sides or arms. Small kisses while Xavier is half dozing still, almost asleep—Benji’s leaving, is telling him he’ll be back soon. Telling him to write, telling him he loves him.

The boy looks struck by the idea, his grin going sneaky. Then he schools it neutral and huffs.

“Not thankin’ you. Was an even trade. Information for help. That’s fair by Baldur’s ways.” Xavier bows deeply, making the boy look instantly sheepish. He turns to run, down a winding and flowered path. At the end of it sit two tieflings, a fat and happy baby in their lap. Xavier watches the boy crawl up onto a stone bench, whispering conspiratorially into a mans ears. The tiefling is the same shade, with the same spots.

Xavier lets himself have one last look at Benji’s statue before he leaves the garden.

—

Finally in his hands once more, Xavier does not let Benji go again.

Not for the entire night. There is no moment where he is not touching him; from the exact second Benji crosses the threshold to their modest home, Xavier’s palms slide across his forearms, to his shoulders. Their mouths crash together in a desperate, laughing kiss. Benji is lifted off his feet, crushed to Xavier’s chest. His armor clinks. The smell of leather oil and dirt, but also Benji.

His hands stay when they take a well earned bath together in a washing tub that they’d specifically bought for this depth, this width. To fit the two of them. Hands touching while they’re in bed, and not necessarily just for the sex that they have. That ranges from rough and needy and desperate and wild to slow and languid and sore and tired. But his hands stay even after that, just simply cupping ribs. Running over a broad torso, a hairy chest. His fingers roam until they find—

“This scar was not here before you left,” Xavier snips, pushing Benji to his side to stare down at the small healed wound on his side. It’s a tan scar on dark skin, no longer than his finger. It’s minuscule in comparison to the one on his back, or another on his hip, or the burn on his calf. Xavier peers down at it with narrowed eyes. The black kohl he paints around his eyes has run horribly and Benji’s cupped hand on his cheek brushes a thumb through it.

“That’s always been there,” he argues innocently, with wide eyes. One black and beautiful and the other hazel and ethereal.

“Fuck you,” Xavier seethes with a laugh. “I know every single scar on you. I’ve tasted them with my tongue.” He punctuates that sentence with a flat lick to this new, offending scar. It makes Benji shiver, his hand clutching harder around Xavier’s cheek. His other finds a home in his hair, carding through the long red strands.

“Arrow grazed me, s’all.”

“Archer dead?”

“If I said he weren’t?”

“Suppose I’d take my Oath up again and find him and shove an arrow through his fucking—”

“Archer’s dead,” Benji laughs, pulling Xavier closer for another kiss. It doesn’t stay gentle, though it starts with just the press of lips and a sigh of air. It deepens with both their mouths opening wider, their tongues rolling and sliding against one another. Xavier moans into the kiss, sliding himself until he’s entirely over Benji—and his hand stays around this new scar he has to memorize. They kiss until it’s messy and when they part, a string of spit momentarily connects their mouths. Xavier licks it hungrily, greedily, eyes hooded and it snaps.

“Death of me,” Benji mutters dramatically.

“Swear that,” Xavier laughs, ducking underneath Benji’s chin to kiss his fuzzy jawline. He moves until he finds his pulse. He sucks it hungrily, thinks to leave a long lasting bruise so that anyone who sees the Hero of Baldurs will know that hero does have a terrifying, greedy husband.

“What am I swearin’ to?”

“Your death is to me only.” Xavier pulls back. Their breathing has both gone harder. There is a flicker of Benji’s youth around his eyes; but they are both so undeniably older now. Gray to their hair, wrinkles at the corners of their eyes, scars everywhere. “An archer can give you a scar. Maybe some Zhentarim fuck surprises you with a dagger—maybe you come home with a scar here instead.” Xavier cups underneath Benji’s knee, touching the soft skin that is never touched by anyone but him.

“But you swear that, Benji. No Harper business takes you from me, I’m there the day you die, or you don’t fucking die, got it?”

Because it all felt unfair sometimes, for Xavier. The city got it’s statue. Boys got their heroes. Harpers got their cleric. He leans forward until their noses are nearly touching. Benji’s eyes have gone dark. Possessive. His hands touch Xavier’s lower back and shove firmly until they are touching every place they can touch.

“Swear,” Benji says in a husky voice.

—

“Tyr’s fucking greatsword,” Xavier moans through a mouthful of food. Breakfast sits, hot and loving prepared on their kitchen table. It’s wooden and long enough to fit company, when they eventually have company. That morning, it is only the two of them, Benji sitting on one side with a mug of steaming tea and a satisfied and sleepy expression.

“I missed your cooking.”

“Could learn to do it yourself.”

“I made sandwiches.”

Benji’s head rolls back with a loud crack of a laugh. Xavier has never heard him laugh like that around anyone, save maybe Maran. Lark’s never gotten that laugh—Benny’s never gotten it either. Matilda gets his soft, snorting laugh when she’s making too mean of a joke. Nettie gets his chest deep chuckles, whenever they visit the grove. Children, that swarm him in droves on the street when they recognize who is he, get humored, if not sometimes awkward laughs.

Xavier scoops more food into his mouth, goes for quick sips of the slowly cooling tea. If he were in the right frame of mind (certainly not the messy, debauched, fucked senseless and tired version of himself that finds getting out of bed harder and harder with every year that passes) he might have ruminated more on that laugh. On how much of Benji stays his, despite how much of Benji is also for others.

Instead, he clears his plate and flips the sign on his blacksmith shop to close—and they spend the evening together, the windows shut to the noise of the city.

[linktube]

no one is sending damien death threats. but the Palestinian fan is receiving them because of his actions. he should be embarrassed.

hope that person can move on from this with peace soon. he did try to patch things up in his own way at the end, and she seemed responsive to that. i wouldnt go with a public callout about this but thats just me, she had her own reasonings. i believe some content creator/comedian isnt worth troubling your hearth and mind about it in this way, but everbody has their own way of dealing with their feelings. (edit: i just learned he also blocked that fan who already accepted his messy apology. thats so maladaptive and just weird. what was the point of that conversation then? a very poorly done image management? thats icky) (some more messy maybe unrelated thoughts about nature of fans but especially his under the read more)

Him pointing out her followers were unnecessary and embarrassing (for him). He can’t be obtuse about his effect on fans anymore. You can’t just keep expecting and seeking positive feedback, and completely crumble when some people are not doing that. That’s a ticking time bomb which I was a little worried about in a while tbh. Im sure a lot of that was just the smosh fanbase, but i kinda want to say some stuff i noticed about his fans spesificly. His twitch community is so bizarrely “positivity” driven and even tho he over explains and states (something he does too much of. Really like he keeps restating things every stream. Reeks of trying to either convince yourself your followers or both of something that isn’t actually working that way. Or could be nervousness. Mixture of all. Who knows. It’s tiring to listen to tho that’s for sure lol) that’s not his goal the way he reacts and interacts with tips with messages attached completely enables this level of parasocialness where people are always getting this over simplified/generalized advice and support from him etc. one time I heard him calling his twitch streams a safe space -for him as well; that’s so profoundly stupid I had to recoil physically a little bit lol. I cannot emphasize enough how a fucking twitch stream cannot be “like a safe space” that’s bullshit. And I won’t read his intentions too much but that can totally be seen as manipulative -whether he knows this or not. Just an overal icky feelings I get from how twitch is built in general but his is definitely one of those where he is way to invested in the chat sometimes -to me. This is an illusion of a community and social interaction. I can’t see feeding this more and more, in the same way, being good for anybody. Btw everybody can partake in manipulative actions, this doesn’t have to define the whole of him. But people are free to dislike him for it, they have always been. I’m whatever about it. I’ve never liked him because I thought he was the most sweetest goodest bean with most pure intentions or some corny bullshit of that caliber lol. He is hot and can be entertaining. I enjoy his work. Some parts of him I find endearing some parts of him annoying etc. that’s about it :)

[tinywitchgoblin]

hello ! could i request a bad batch ship please? ive never done one of these before so bare with me 😭

im afab (she/they/he), 5"2 and quite curvy, slim waist and large hips / thighs. i have greeny-blue eyes and dark red hair (dyed) thats around bust length (and a straight fringe), along with 2 ear lobe piercings (on each ear) and a septum piercing. i've got an gothic / alternative sense of style, like wearing all black with fishnets, legwarmers, bold makeup (like with heavy eyeliner and eyeshadow), large spiky earrings and chunky boots, etc.

im an artist ! i LOVE drawing, especially characters / people because i just love the way humanoid characters look (like the human form and stuff). my favourite part on the human body is the back and shoulder area - its really weird but i just love all the details like the shoulder blades and muscle definition etc. i also love music and travelling ! my favourite genre of music is drum and bass (along with metal / nu metal) !

i also have autism and i stim with my hands and mouth a lot - like shaking my hands or tapping my collarbone. when im comfortable with someone i literally just meow or like do "mow/mrow" sounds at them randomly. im so embarrassed by it but i can't help it because ive been doing it since i was young 😭 i hate large crowds and start to panic if there's a lot of people around me and we're in a small space (like a shop for example) and i have the need to leave the place immediately. i also cannot deal with any sort of confrontation or if someone is to start raising their voice at me because it makes me tear up and i'll sometimes cry bc of it. like i get arguments happen but you don't need to shout at me, man 💀

when you first meet me im super shy and quiet, but when you get to know me i do not shut up 😭 i will keep yapping all day about the things i like especially if it's my hyperfixation at the moment. romantically, im super physically affectionate (my love language fr) because i struggle to verbalise how much i love said person, so i just cuddle and smooch said person until they get the point lol. i also prefer to hold someone's arm (although i don't mind holding hands !) as it makes me feel secure and i like squishing said persons bicep (not hard and if they're okay with it ofc ^^) bc squishy,, and it feels comforting in my hands.

sorry theres so much here lol

ty :) ❤️

I'm so sorry this took me a whole ass month to answer but thanks for being patient!!

I ship you with...

Wrecker!

Wrecker absolutely loves physical touch. It's one of his biggest love languages (along with making/sharing food). One of his favorite things to do is pull you into his lap whenever you're not doing anything specific and just relax. His brothers aren't super into a ton of physical affection, so when you and he started dating (and maybe even before), he gave you all of the hugs and cuddles! It means so much to him, and you really like it as well.

As for your stimming, Wrecker doesn't see anything wrong with it. He just knows you're different, and that's okay! He was a bit confused about the meowing at first, but once you explained it to him, he never really mentions it anymore. Not in the ignoring sense, but just in the sense that that's part of who you are, and he loves every part of you. If you're into using stim toys, he'll ask Tech to make you a couple of them to help you get out some of the latent energy, and if not, he'll do what he can to help you stim in whatever ways are most comforting to you.

Wrecker is relatively social by nature, but he understands that you get overwhelmed very easily. You and he have developed a system that allows you to non-verbally communicate to him that you need to go somewhere private and relax. He's super protective of you, and when you find yourself in a stressful situation, he will do his best to keep you safe (both physically and otherwise). And if someone raises their voice at you, by god, he will stand there menacingly until the other person backs off, and he'll hold you and make sure you're okay once they leave. Again, he wants to make sure you feel safe, because he loves you and doesn't like seeing you hurt.

-

Thanks for reading! If you want a ship request like this, drop it in my ask box (but be warned, it might take a while for me to get to it- oops), and don't forget to reblog <3

[keefwho]

July 21 - 2023 Friday

7:18 AM

Time to cover some embarrassing feelings since the weekend is approaching. They are leftovers of becoming too lost in my thoughts and current situation. The best thing I can do is admit them and work through them, I should not be ashamed. I’ve felt good knowing I always have bestie time in the evenings even if just for a little bit. I should know in my heart that there will always be a next time even if those times end up few and far between. The weekends throw that up in the air because how much she likes to do and socialize. I get worried that I won’t get the time I want. Even more embarrassing is I worry about how close she might get to someone else in case I get outperformed which seems easy. 

Both of these feelings have to do with how detached I’ve gotten lately. I more or less fell into the thought that we’re a couple when we aren’t and was behaving unhealthy in a way that wasn’t fair to myself or the relationship. Even if only briefly, I was re-understanding the importance of being on my own more and letting things be what they are naturally. It is easy for me to fall back down though, especially this early into figuring things out. I gotta stay vigilant and catch what I can. All I can expect from myself is my best. 

Step one is to realize I’m already setting myself up for failure by thinking I’m going to repeat the same cycles or that everything is going to work against me. I’m already inherently predicting failure and it would be helpful if I could keep catching thoughts that actively work against me. 

8:35 AM

The big goal is not to hinge my entire existence on one person or group like I’ve done in the past. 

5:51 PM

Oops, I’m thinking too hard again. It’s stuff I’ve heard before. I’m having thoughts like “What the point of trying, it won’t work out,” or “I must be a real lose, look at the state of my life.” Two very powerful thoughts that I know can make me go down a pretty wicked spiral. I think I just need to talk to someone about it, anyone I feel comfortable with. Someone who will listen. I’m also trying to defuse on my own first. 

6:47 PM

At least I’m aware of the state my mind is in even if I’m finding it hard to defuse. It almost feels hopeless but I know thats just another thought. I really just need someone to talk to but I’m having trouble picking who.

9:49 PM

Too often I am not true to myself. I don’t let my desires be known and I fester. I try to placate everyone. It’s hard to remember I’m valid too. 

I crave reassurance in different forms but I know better than to give into it unless I’m coming from a genuine place. Often times I want to hear certain things to make me feel better about myself but it’s a temporary solution, a mask. I know my issues run deep and have to be confronted no matter how hard or scary it might be. 

10:48 PM

It might just be the intoxication but my entire being is screaming at me to tell my friend how much I want to discuss things. I always have something heavy to talk about, too much I feel. I know it can be an unstable thing to always be addressing struggles, especially when a lot of them are repeats caused completely by me. It’s hard to tell if my feelings should be taken seriously sometimes. Because they can also come from a place that only wants to cover up things I don’t like about myself. It takes a lot of restraint to keep things inside that might not be legitimate. Like an alcoholic avoiding a drink when it’s all he craves. 

8:13 AM (The Next Day)

I forgot to do a journal entry which I think is important now that I’m trying to look at what I’m proud of doing and what I could have done better. I already don’t remember a lot about how I felt but I’ll summarize what I can.

Breakfast was half a totinos pizza and a granola bar while I watched Twitch until work time. I did my warmups slowly and had to stop doing the commission because I just didn’t have the brain power to do it justice for some reason. I couldn’t focus on anything or tell if I was doing a good job. Instead I worked on my VR bathroom world and finished the last of the animations. After stream I skipped my boxing workout on account of my still strained back but I did make the spontaneous decision to go out with mom to see a nearby wildfire. It was a very short trip but a trip nonetheless. I ended up cleaning the area around my toilet despite not feeling like cleaning. I took an extra thorough shower for no particular reason. I just wanted to give a little extra care to my body today. Lunch was a nice little chicken burger with some doritos. Despite my still suffering mental capacity, I worked on and finished an emote set for someone and almost finished the next one too. Then I worked a little bit more on the world. I started to emotionally slip in the afternoon and was saved by some Zelda time with the bestie. After she fell asleep I finished my drink while watching MoonMoon. 

I can say I was proud of getting a lot of things done today despite the mental hurdle. I didn’t have to work on anything after putting off the commission. I also didn’t have to clean or work on those emotes or anything else but I did anyways. Thats one thing I’ve been getting good at, doing my best even though I know it might not be very good. The point is that I did anything at all. I’m also proud of recognizing that some of m strong feelings last night didn’t need to be broadcasted or entertained because I knew they weren’t genuine and I would calm down. Acting on some feelings will do more harm than good. It’s hard identifying which ones are like that though.

As for what I could have done better, I don’t know what could have prevented me from slipping in the evening. I was trying not to go too far. Maybe I could have picked something to do to occupy myself because I know I was sort of letting it happen by doing nothing. I want to make sure I’m not running from it though. Its hard to keep those feelings in awareness and also do something else in the meantime. 

[variousincorrectxreader]

Could you right the DDLC girls with a normally shy S/O's who get's possessive when someone flirts with them?

OMG FIRST DDLC REQUEST YESSSSS

~ Yuri ~

Chaos, absolute chaos

You two are both so shy in public, holding hands, kissing in any way shape or form is guaranteed to have one of you two (or both) flustered beyond repair.

But the two of you are also SO possessive, and together that makes a dangerous combo

She finds you just too cute, so soft and shy and god she loves you.

So thats why she’s so uncomfortable when this random guy starts hitting on her

She doesn’t know what to say, so she just blushes (out of embarrassment due to attention being drawn to her)

Which this creep takes as a sign that he should keep going.

He reaches out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear and she flinches away

Thats when you come in. Soft adorable little you <3

Running at this guy to kick him in the shin.

When he doubles over in pain, he gets the perfect view of you pulling your beautiful girlfriend down into a kiss.

After the two of you break apart, you look down smugly before dragging her off.

It doesnt take long before you begin to revert back to your shy self, and you start going off with apologies

Oh what, she doesnt mind/ And now you’re up against the wall, what a turn.

She feels more comfortable being a teensy bit more possessive now that she knows you are as well, maybe not to the same degree however.

it doesn’t take long for people to realise,

‘hmmm, maybe i shouldn’t flirt with either of these people.’

honestly, the two of you were made for each other, and you both bring each other out of your shells.

~Monika~

Chances are she already knows you’re possessive, she's just like that.

(Maybe she's physic, or just has good intuition)

But she doesn’t mention it so long as you don’t.

she loves how shy you are, and she sometimes teases you about it, but she stops if you get annoyed or uncomfortable

she squishes your face with her hands and watches you blush

Anyways, Monika is used to being flirted with

And you’re used to it to, lets be honest.

canonically she’s like, the most popular pretty girl in school (and she has good grades)

so its no surprise that people (foolishly) come up to flirt with her, but you usually aren’t around for that to happen.

She wasn’t surprised when someone came up to flirt with her, just annoyed.

Shes stated that shes TAKEN and is so close to poofing them out of existence when

She sees you storming up to this random dude and straight up kick his nuts. No more children I guess

Shes sort of shocked but she swoons, kinda teases you to see if shy you is still in there.

Is further shocked when you just grab her hand and drag her to a secluded place to makeout.

After you finish shy you comes back and she finds it so cute.

Im not saying she sometimes tries to make you jealous bc thats kinda toxic but...

Yeah she does.

She teases you about it but she loves it a lot so she doesn’t stop you from going sicko mode on those asshats.

~Natsuki~

Oh boy.

Natsuki is something, before you two got together she probably made you cry a lot.

She feels bad about it now and tries to make up for it by giving you cupcakes (it works)

Not a lot of people would really approach her because shes got a bit of a mouth and attitude.

But there are a few people now and then (mainly lolicons, im sorry but its the truth.)

Either that or people with a degrading kink anyways.

So she's genuinely a bit surprised that someone comes up and starts flirting with her, so much so she doesn't have a sharp retort to dish out.

So he moves in closer and she's still frozen

And then you come barrelling in and no joke tackle this fool.

She swoons, but refuses to acknowledge the fact that she finds you so hot right now.

Naturally when you drag her away, she gets snappy again but she's secretly very flustered.

When you go back to being shy she teases you a bit, but gets you to spoon her later that night.

Sayori 💕

Naww, you two are so cute.

People have voted you cutest couple every year., and honestly I see why.

She loves tackling you in a big ol bear hug and pepper your face with kisses, seeing you blush is a bonus.

I genuinely think that sayori would have quite a few admirers, she's just so peppy and cute (on the outside at least.)

So she sometimes gets letters and gifts but she only keeps them if it's food 💀🙏

She'll share them with you don't worry.

You usually just let the admiers be because they're not confessing in person so who cares.

But one time this random approaches the two of you before you leave the school gates and bows, confessing their love.

Before she can do anything about it, she feels a dark aura behind her as you wrap your arms around her waist.

"she's fucking taken loser. Piss off. N o w"

It sends shivers down her spine but like, in a good way.

While your walking home she notices the aura receding and you apologise sheepishly.

She just coos about how you cute you are, welp.

[hirokiyuu]

Hello! Saw your last post and got me thinking: What do you think Vace and Lin would be like as parents? I imagine that fatherhood wouldn't come to him as easily, but I think he would earnestly try to be better than both his parents 😁

oh yeah absolutely i think post therapy vace is a better dad than his family (low bar) and i think in therapy he has like the self awareness? to try and push past that

actually therapy vace is very fun in general bc like. i think one of vace's qualities regardless of therapy is how he pushes himself to be The Best it's just like a reframing of what The Best is u kno. there's a reason his cards are vace's confidence u kno. and that confidence is in some ways genuinely earned like!!! he IS the best soldier on the helio!!! like!!!! he has all those awards and he's very smart and like. it makes sense!!!

but then he goes to therapy and he starts like. reframing some of his stuff re:being Good and like what it means to be not just Good At Things but a Good Person and like. thats so much more difficult for him u kno in ways that other stuff wouldnt necessarily be. esp bc a lot of the stuff involved is like, him moving to be more vulnerable and show weakness and forgive ppl and those are not things he's good at naturally which is like. just very fun wwww

the reason i bring this up re:his parenting: i dont think he'd want to be a parent until he's really dealt with a lot of the worst of his shit. he mentions this in his 100 right: he's aware his whole thing comes from his dad who he has an IMMESNELY complicated rship w/. (i say this bc like. in his 50 he mentions hating his dad right. and yet he still has a picture of him u kno. lmfao. god) i dont think he'd ever want to subject his kids to what he went thru. i think he's aware of what he's done and how much worse he could've been u kno. the monster under the bed is who he is without sol

and even then it still takes work u kno. this comes up in the endcards abt how on his worst days he's still just like he was and how it takes times to break past that and find someone to meet him halfway. i have him meet lin when he's like early 30's bc i really do think it takes him a Long Fucking Time to hit a point like that. a lot of relationships. u kno. takes Work. takes time.

BUT THE POINT OF THIS.... to answer your actual q..........

i do actually think vace is a pretty good dad in these circumstances! i think he's protective and caring and i think in context w/rship with lin especially where he's got a partner that's good at reframing issues from "you versus me" to "you and me against the problem" it helps him get in that mindset with kids as well u kno.

i think tho in some ways he's better w/them when they're little GLKHSDLKGH i think he might be a bit overprotective when theyre older. i am shy talkign abt lin but im even shyer talking abt the fankids i made for them but i DO think its immensely funny for him to have his daughter hit adolescence and be like. ok im not calling u daddy anymore. and not bc she's embarrassed abt being a daddys girl or antying she just needs him to realize shes practically an ADULT NOW (vace meanwhile is there like. you are Not an adult jesus christ)

ok thats the serious analysis now here is my stuff thats for Me (sparkle emojis) ive talked abt this with alm before and in some ways i think vace is the parent the kids rely on for most every day stuff bc i do think he spoils his kids a little u kno. daughter shows up asking for a snack and he Prepares something for her meanwhile lin is like (gets smth preprepared from the fridge or tells her to wait for mealtime) takes them shopping teaches them to tie their shoes all that kind of stuff u kno

lin meanwhile is like...... practical wwww ive talked abt this in other places but he has difficulty with people sometimes bc of his augment. he's not great at comforting tbh! i think if the kids are upset adn htey want hugs abt it they go to vace. lin tho i think is the parent they turn towards for more serious stuff? bc vace despite everything still is very emotional while lin is very Not that u kno. so they can be like. uh. papa. ive fucked up. and lin is like (guy whose response to literally Everyhting is How Do We Fix This) How Do We F

in some ways as well i think the kids and lin grow closer as they get older. not to say i think they necessarily grow Away from vace but the way you interact w/small kids versus when u interact w/older ones means i think vace would do better w/the really younger ones while there'd be a bit of disconnect btwn them and lin until they're older u kno. lin is bad at mirroring and coddling and part of the thing abt his rship w/vace is it does help him get better at dealing w/other ppl w/strong emotions, part of that also relies on vace understnading that lin is trying u kno. and that's not a capacity kids really have at such young ages?

overall tho. i do think they are pretty good parents wwwww vace does hover too much but lin i think helps him dial it back wwww and lin struggles more at first but he gets there. their kids i think grow up well! and that's what matters!

[dauntless-dragayn]

the dsmp c!kids are queer

a hc post for tommy, tubbo, ranboo, and purpled (all in regards to the characters)

tommy is a trans guy! naturally. he is straight and loves women So Much

for a long time he kept it on the downlow that he’s trans and didnt really like people knowing

he consistently binds (safely!) and his voice is naturally kind of low

he identified as a guy from a pretty young age, probably around when he first met tubbo

tubbo is pan and ace. he doesnt really think much about labels though. his gender is goat boy (in other words he’s cis/doesn’t think about his gender too much either)

you’d be surprised by the ace part because of all of his raunchy jokes but thats how it be sometimes

number #1 person who will kick your teeth in if you misgender tommy (but transphobia isnt a thing in the server so its fine<3)

purpled is agender and aro. he doesnt really care about pronouns but he/him is what he uses most commonly

he has an aro patch on his hoodie and he just thinks its so very cool that aro colors go so well with purple

he’s not romance repulsed, he just doesnt care to ever have a romantic relationship himself

he can Not wrap his mind around gender. he likes to joke if he had one it would be Dagger 

“too sharp to touch and extremely dangerous”

ranboo is nonbinary and uses he/they!!!!!!! he has no idea what his sexuality is but if he had to put a label on it he’d say queer

ranboo figured out he’s nb recently (around when he moved in with tubbo in snowchester) which tubbo was naturally super supportive of. he asked his husband if he could do anything to affirm his gender 

ranboo was very flustered and didnt really know how to answer that (besides updating his pronouns) but appreciated it

tommy and ranboo talk about gender and transness sometimes and finding out about ranboo is what allows tommy to gradually be more open and proud of his identity

some time later when he and tommy have gotten on good terms, ranboo offhandedly mentions how hes identified as nb for a bit now but doesnt have any pride merch to show for it

tommy instantly sets to making him a scarf with the nb colors and then decided to make a trans one too for good measure

hes too embarrassed to present them to ranboo’s face so he hands them off to tubbo to give him, with a note that says “pick your favorite genderboy. or keep them both i dont care”

ranboo nearly cries 

he decides he likes the nb one and next time he sees tommy he’s wearing it. tommy cant help but grin but he laughs and makes some joke about how ranboo has got all of these colors now and he’s practically a rainbow. gay lol

ranboo just grins and asks tommy if he can hug him. when tommy says yes and he does, ranboo then pulls out the trans scarf tommy made and wraps it on tommy’s shoulders

“now we match :D”

tommy is extremely soft but blusters his way through and says something like “well i guess i’ll need a scarf if im gonna be going to snowchester more often”

at some point when he visits and michael sees that his dad and uncle have matching scarves, he says he wants one

tommy makes him a rainbow one (with some help from michael. its a little bit patchy)

and then of course tubbo has to have one to fit in, so pan colors scarf it is

they put up a big ol gay and trans pride flag up outside snowchester so everyone knows how queer they are

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

Dude i just went through the entire band au tag and I am in love!!!! Since you said it was cool to pick your brain about the au i wanted to ask about Raz. Like, we know how he ends up with the band but like, i want those juicy details. Not to mention I'd love to know more about the dynamic he has with each member of the group. Is it like the game where you've got Adam warming up to him pretty quickly while Norma doesn't really like him at first? Do things change when Frazie and Dion tag along?

OKAY this is nice cus i have a few asks wondering abt Raz's relationship with the band and this lets me answer that while going into a little more detail;

raz's relationship with music is pretty similar to his relationship with psychics in canon, where he collects magazines and records and likes learning all about the bands he admires. His room is covered in all kinds of dollar store posters and zine clippings and he has a little beat up record player Nona gave him with some old records; a lot of his music taste is Old simply because that's all his family really had access to, similar to how Frazie likes the B-52s and the Bangles. I think he'd be really big on stuff like Elton John and Hall and Oates (:

his all time favorite band CURRENTLY though is one he'd only heard by happenstance over the radio, the Techno Duo of Sasha and Milla, AKA Sunshine Sinewave. their eclectic style blew his fuckign mind the first time he heard it and he really wants to try making stuff like that himself.

HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH LIZZIES BAND IS... a bit tense at first.

readmore cus as always i rambled a bit

some of them (namely lizzie, norma & gisu because they Dont have patience for kids) kind of saw him as a nuisance when he'd first started following them around the fair grounds, asking way too many questions about their set up and what they did for a living and what having a band is like.

adam ofc didn't really mind him from the get, because he has 3 siblings himself ( & one is a sister raz's age .) So He Gets It. once raz makes it obvious he isn't screwing around adam even lets him play on his keyboard sometimes (:

but ofc the initial reverse kidnapping scenario has all of them on edge about him at first. Norma especially is ticked because she thinks hes more of an issue than he's worth and is going to get them in trouble, which. She's right in her own way LMAO . when everyone else starts getting more used to him she's a little insulted by the fact that they're more likely to follow his lead than any of her own perfectly sound advice. (one of which being they really need to bring this kid back to his mother before theyre Arrested or worse, he gets them completely Lost) and she never really eases up on this until much later.

lizzie likes to mess with raz, she tends to make up tons of stories about what being in a band is like and things shes done. 100% she is a compulsive liar and raz believes every word of it.

gisu tends to take advantage of raz's helpful nature and has him do a lot of her roadie work BUT in exchange she lets him have some of her old tape decks so its 'fair.' she also mines him for embarrassing info abt dion which is fun for both of them

him and sam get along well enough but she also lies a lot about how band stuff works simply because she has the ability to make things work for her. shes very enigmatic that way. also she thinks hes insanely good for marketing.

MORRIS doesn't get to spend a lot of time with him but he does find him funny in an Overwhelming Child kind of way. raz is the only one who will listen to him blab on about radio play and bands no ones heard of for 2 hours

i think that dion and frazie being there doesnt change the dynamic much except in regards to like, them clashing a little more with the band than raz does initially for their own reasons-

except of course in Norma's case where raz bringing frazie along is both the best and worst thing thats ever happened to her and ultimately fuels her need to rat them out to raz's mom later because shes just so so self sabotaging.

[toutallyahoe]

hi!! could you do some soft hannibal or will hcs? or some soft remus lupin hcs? if not thats fine!

a/n: ayyyyyy

first off i just want to say sorry for not posting a lot these days. shit happened here but now im back (for now) to do hcs!

second off, yall are gonna hate me for this but i dont actually watch hannibal soooo, i dont know how to write for him and such... but remus lupin? fahajshwheahakhd gotchu

third off, high school/past au because i just want to write remus being goofy and also a bit anxious on his nature

anyways, onto the hcs!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

remus never thought he'll fall in love really

he was more focused on trying to stop his chaotic friends from causing more mayhem but get dragged into it

and his small problem being a warewolf to keep secret

besides, remus has some high expectations even if he doesnt want to admit it

remus would like someone to be soft and caring

loving him and be understanding towards his little warewolf problem (if he tells them)

and most important, he may not have thought about his partner's gender as he was more going to focused on personality really, but still, remus would have liked a female partner

so, imagine his surprise when he caught feelings on a certain [hogwarts house] boy the same year as him?

remus was confused at first

he didnt know what he was feeling and his friends noticed it

remus didnt really want to confide with them, but he knew sooner or later, theyll find out eventually like how they discovered his secret

so, he told them his confusing feelings

and let me tell you, the three boys looked at him confused at first until they looked each other with shit eating grins

well, sirius and james have those shit eating grins while peter looked a bit excited at him

"guess potter isnt the only lovesick puppy huh?" sirius teased as the three began to laugh

until james realized sirius was saying he was a "lovesick puppy" towards lily, which immediately made him shout a unamused "hey! i do not!"

as sirius and james began to banter at each other and peter was trying to be the peacemaker, remus took a second to process what his friend just said

until the realization hit in and made remus red and stuttering mess

remus was in denial, to the amusement of his friends

he cant be!

he wasnt gay— not that being gay is a problem or anything, he never just expected him to be one

he didnt like [name] like that way, right???

he barely knew the guy!!!

remus was in denial for a few days until his friend had snapped some sense to him

by literally dragging [name] to their lunch table

they didnt care if [name] was in another house or not, they still dragged his ass over and made him sit next to remus who was having an internal breakdown

apparently sirius, james and peter decided to be remus' wingman, even if remus didnt want them too

but anyways

sirius, james and peter would ask [name] questions as they ate, wanting to getting to know their future buddy and trying to slip remus in the conversation

they thought they were slick at it, but nope!

they arent

"so [name]? watcha like to do?"

"oh, well i like literatur—"

"you know, our buddy remus likes books too!"

"really? thats nice. i also like chocolat—"

"chocolates?!? wow! our buddy o pal remus has a massive sweet tooth, did you know that?"

"maybe you both could go to honeydukes together this weekend!"

they were that bad

they werent subtle at all

remus is just internally suffering

why was his friends like this?

why was he even friends with them?

remus was super embarrassed but to his utter surprise— [name] actually seemed to be down on visiting honeydukes with him to buy some sweets

of course, [name] didnt really think on it other than a friendly hang out (at first)

but to the three, this was the start to hook their beloved puppy remus to [name]

it took a while but [name] and remus' relationship grown closer and a few months, they finally got together

it almost took a year for them to realize their feeling for each other (remus and [name]) if it wasnt for that mistletoe accident in the greathall on christmas day

sirius and james were bragging that they were the ones to have placed those mistletoe there

but thats a lie

peter did and the two placed mistletoes in other rooms

peter was the smart one to put a mistletoe under above the entrance of the door while sirius and james literally decorated every corner of the great hall with mistletoe because apparently they thought it would made sure remus and [name] would kiss

and that james was also trying to get a kiss from lily under those mistletoes too because it was "romantic" and that itll make her definitely "fall in love" with him

but anyways, [name] was soft for remus and remus was soft for [name]

the two only have little bumps in their relationship but mostly, they try to understand each other and hear one another out

remus always liked their tradition on winter to cuddle in front of the fireplace in the gryffindor common room

remus prefers to be the small spoon but wouldnt mind cuddling [name] too

he likes to be held since he could snuggle and hear [name]'s calming heartbeat

of course those moments are sometimes destroyed by his friends inserting themselves to their cuddle sessions

but remus wouldnt have it either way

[name] doesnt mind aswell

it was annoying at first but over time, he grown fond of remus' friends

another sweet thing that [name] does that makes remus so soft is that [name] makes sure that he is loved

[name] seems to noticed when he is down and will always give him a soft peck on his forehead, embrace him tightly and mutter how much he is adored

[name] also doesnt questions on the scars he had obtained over his little problem

in fact, [name] just reminds him that [name] loves him so much

[name] makes him feel loved and always tell him that he is beautiful in [name]'s eyes

when remus told [name] about him being a warewolf

remus was terrified and thought [name] leave him

but this guy was so full of surprises

[name] was a bit shock and was quiet for a while, but then he just embraces remus tightly and running his hands over remus' hair and whispers he still loves remus no matter what

remus cried that day

what have he even done to deserve [name]?

he doesnt know but he was happy to meet the guy who loves him, even with all his flaws

remus was sure [name] was the one and he hopes he'll get to be a [last name] in the far future

[tigerseye46]

List of Peachpigshipping headcanons

Feel free to send or share with me some of your own!

For some reason, I can rarely see Wukong doing the dishes and Pigsy makes fun of him for it, both out of amusement and annoyance. Examples: “I can’t even convince my boyfriend/husband to do the dishes, what makes you think I can convince him to do [x]?” “Oh my gods you did the dishes, what did you do?” “Wow, you must really love me for once.”

I picture them being that couple that shows each other up, Wukong more than Pigsy because the pig is more easily flustered with public acts of affection. Wukong purposefully does sappy stuff to make him as flustered as possible. Pigsy secretly likes it but will deny it like crazy.

Like most of the fandom, I picture them being on the outs at the beginning but they get really soft around each other when they’re actually a couple. They call the other sweet nicknames since Wukong already has a habit of calling people nicknames in canon.

They give off vibes of a couple that act like they’re better than other couples and get completely smug. They are the best couple and they’ll fight whoever says otherwise.

Wukong insists Pigsy stay in bed with him and will try to convince him in any way possible.

If Pigsy is yelling at Wukong for something in a one-sided argument, Wukong’s reaction is to snark at him and roll his eyes or if Pigsy does something like cup his face during it, the king stares at him with loving eyes and gets lost in those blue orbs which frustrates Pigsy because the king should really be paying attention, he’s also trying not to blush under his gaze.

If they’re both arguing, they can argue for hours since they’re stubborn until they storm off to cool down or the person who’s at fault, if anyone is at fault, apologizes. Or they both realize how stupid they’re being. Once they storm off, they’re tempted to go back to each other which they either do so or hold back and become a little melancholic after that.

Favorite place to kiss besides each other’s lips: For Pigsy, it’s Wukong’s cheek and forehead. For Wukong, it’s Pigsy’s thighs/legs and stomach.

Pigsy likes to comb through the king’s fur, to the monkey, his partner’s hands feel like magic and it takes all his willpower to not fall asleep.

Pigsy constantly makes sure Wukong is eating properly since the king has a habit of eating his own hair along with other things like peaches that Pigsy argues doesn’t count as a full meal.

They have to be touching each other in some way, shape or form. Wukong usually just wraps a tail around Pigsy’s waist if their hands are full or they’re trying to be subtle. I thought about how they wouldn’t do this if Pigsy was cooking, but that’s completely wrong, Wukong would still bother Pigsy. He would plaster himself to Pigsy’s back, despite his partner’s protest. The regulars think it’s cute. “Is that your boyfriend?” “Unfortunately.” “I wish my partner was as affectionate as that.” “No… no, ya don’t.” (Almost forgot to add this one thing. Someone: *gestures to Pigsy who has Wukong’s face buried against his back* What have you got there? Pigsy: *holding a bowl of noodles* Noodles.)

They like to tease and joke with each other, their jabs are always filled with some love behind it.

Wukong is more traditional when it comes to courtship stuff while Pigsy is okay with it and goes with what Wukong wants.

Courtship bracelets:

-Wukong: A circular silver bracelet with a pink heart gem in the middle, it is surrounded by patterns of leaves. engraving on the inside reads “My peach”

-Pigsy: A circular gold bracelet with two gems on it. One is red in an antique cushion shape while the other is orange and circular. It has ovals patterns around it. Engraving on the inside reads “My fellow king (my equal).” I don’t see Pigsy as the type to wear big fancy jewelry, maybe usually just some earrings but he wears the bracelet anyway.

They stay more at Pigsy’s apartment than Wukong’s mountain since it’s a lot of effort for Pigsy to travel back and forth for work even with Wukong’s cloud.

They have moments where they stand there, completely still and Wukong has his arms wrapped around the pig, he rests his chin on top of his head while Pigsy has his face buried in his partner’s chest, and both just breathe in each other’s scent.

Pigsy oinks when he laughs sometimes, he gets embarrassed about it but Wukong thinks it the cutest thing in the world.

The monkeys like Pigsy despite his gruff nature, they really like his cooking and are happy that their king found someone.

Picture Wukong and Pigsy are sitting on the cloud, watching the sunset and Wukong has a tail around Pigsy’s waist while Pigsy clings to Wukong’s sleeves and leans his head on his shoulder (a friend came up with this one!).

When they’re on the couch, Wukong rests his head on his partner’s stomach and will look up with love and adoration present on his face, if Pigsy is checking his phone or reading, he’ll take quick glances at Wukong, only to find the monkey staring at him. “Why are ya starin’?” “You’re gorgeous.” “... Shad-shaddup.”

If Macaque is around, Pigsy sometimes gets jealous because he and the king have history that he feels he’ll never have with Wukong even though Pigsy has history with Wukong that he doesn’t remember *coughs* *coughs*.

I would think that Wukong does have some cooking ability (immortals get bored too, you know) and he’ll cook for Pigsy and the pig adores it, although he will take the time to criticize bits of it while simultaneously loving it.

Wukong absolutely loves when Pigsy rambles on about his family, the way the pig lights up when he rambles makes Wukong’s heart beat wildly against his chest.

In turn, Pigsy loves it when the king goes on about the journey even though he’s heard the stories before. It gets better when the king shares details never mentioned, because it feels like Wukong trusts him enough to share something so important, no matter how small it is and for some reason, it feels familiar to him like he was around for the Journey. *coughs*

“at some point while depowered Pigsy had carried Wukong for miscellaneous 'take care of yourself idiot' reasons, and now nothing makes Wukong flustered quicker than Pigsy princess carrying him. Also there's probably a "my hero~♡" joke in there somewhere” Princess Carry Headcanon from an anon

“Heres another PeachPig headcannon for u soul: that theory/speculation about Wukong shapeshifting himself taller and is in fact still the shortest one here? Well, every so often, if Pigsy's clearly had a rough day, Wukong will just... take on his actual size for cuddling purpouses. Its super embarrassing for wukong bc hes sensitive about his height but Pigsy seems to love both not being the short one and having his partner the size of one of those beeg plushies thats perfect cuddling size. So its whatever” Wukong shapeshifting when Pigsy has a rough day (given by anon + a small fic)

[songbirdsingingthings]

Pretty Little Symphony

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Hajime Isayama

AOT Masterlist - Main Masterlist

Requested by @tanukiprints​ :

Imagine Armin but he plays ukulele and often likes to play it for a female y/n.... THATS SUCH A CUTE FIC IDEA 🥺

Umm HELL YES that’s a cute fic idea! I’m so sorry that this took so long to complete - I had a bunch of unexpected school stuff to deal with and I wanted to make sure that this was as good as it can be! 

Word Count: 1.5K

The world was a dreary place. You already knew that since you were little, what with titans running rampant, but the moment you stepped foot into the Yeager’s basement was when you decided that the sun would never feel as warm as it once was again. Between the, what was it called… photograph? And everything that was perfectly detailed in the diaries of Eren’s father, you and your fellow comrades’ world was turned upside down. Not only was the royal family of the walls lying to them, and had been for the entirety of all their lives, but it was revealed that another, more advanced, civilization was out there somewhere. Captain Levi had quickly gathered everyone back up again to set off on the long journey outside of the walls, urging his squad to bring only the essentials: One tent for every three people, sparse rations, and whatever you could fit in the tiny little rucksack that was given to each scout.

It was easy to fill yours given that you, nor really anyone else for that matter, had much in the way of personal items. You packed a change of clothes, some extra hair ties, and your mother’s necklace, and then slung the bag over your shoulder. You were one of the first people to be done, so you decided to wait by your horse and double check that everything was correctly buckled and fastened to the saddle. The only other people who were out there with you was Captain Levi, who was a ways away with his horse, and Armin, whose bag seemed to be bursting at the seams.

“What have you got stuffed in there?” You asked, walking so you could be standing next to him. With an embarrassed grin, he shrugged his bag off of his back.

“I guess I did go a little overboard, but I wanted to bring some things to pass the time.” His words piqued your interest, causing you to lean closer to him and peer down into his bag. There weren’t a ton of things that the scouts were privy to, so what Armin had his hands on was pretty special. Inside his bag were about three books - of course - and a clean pair of clothes folded neatly. You accidentally caught a glimpse of his boxers, causing you to get a bit flustered. Moving on quickly from that, your eyes landed on an object that you’ve never seen before. It was a weird shape, the body of it like a peanut and then it had a flat elongated part sticking out. There was a small hole in the middle of the body, making it hollow. There were also strings that were connected from end to end. You picked it up carefully and inspected it more closely, in awe of how unique it was.

“Armin…” you began, lifting it so it was eye level, “do you know what it is?” A smile spread across his lips as he gently took it from you and held it in his arms.

“I found it in Mr. Yeager’s basement.” He says, a light wistful tone to his voice. He drags his index finger along one of the strings, feeling its odd tensile strength. When he pressed down lightly and then flicked his finger away, a pretty sound came after. Your eyes widened comically, bringing about a light laugh from Armin.

“It’s called a ukulele. Apparently it’s an instrument from wherever Mr. Yeager originally lived.” He explained, giving it back to you and pulling out a small book from his bag. “This seems to be a guide to how to use it.” You were about to look through it when your captain’s voice rang clearly.

“Everybody on your horses. I want to go as far as we can until night falls.” Captain Levi shouted roughly. Armin stuffs the book and ukulele back into his bag and puts his arms through the straps.

“Maybe we can talk more about it tonight? I’m really interested in it.” You say, smiling as you put your foot through your stirrup and swing yourself up onto your chestnut-colored horse. Armin nods in his signature shy nature, settling onto his own horse.

The ride was long and your legs were sore by the time the sun was starting to set. Sure, you’ve been on long expeditions before, but nothing like this. You felt sluggish and completely out of it as you pitched your tent, earning harsh words from Floch, however, you didn’t really care for what he had to say.

“Wait outside while I change,” you grumble, side-eyeing Floch. He rolls his eyes and scoffs, marching away to go talk to other new cadets. You drag your bag behind you and open it, taking out the cotton shirt and shorts that you’ve been using as pajamas for god knows how long. With a stretch of your back that does nothing to relieve the whole body ache that you developed, you stepped back out of your tent. You jump back in surprise when you do, though, because Armin was standing right in front of you.

“Ah, sorry if I startled you!” He apologized softly, his cerulean blue eyes now swirling with concern. You raised a hand to motion that it was no problem. “I just, um…” He started, not sure how to continue. 

“Are you done with your tent?” You ask, trying to get the flow of conversation going. His shoulders seem to relax.

“Oh, yes. Mikasa and Eren are already asleep though,” he says with a warm smile on his face. Something about him talking about his friends seemed to like a flicker of comfort to rise in Armin, which is why you did it so often. He was always so happy when conversing about them. “Who’s sharing your tent?” This causes you to groan and chuckle sarcastically, your eyes flicking towards where Floch was talking with a group of people.

“I got stuck with Floch and another new cadet,” you say, earning a pitying look from Armin. 

“I’m… sorry about that too,” he laments, a sad smile on his face. You sigh and shoot back a tired smile, stepping forward a bit to nudge Armin gently.

“So you came here for something?” You ask, trying to gently coax his intentions from him.

“Right!” He says excitedly, his eyes lighting up. “I was able to read a lot of that book about the ukulele and even practiced some with it. I was wondering if you wanted to see it…? I dunno, I just thought since you said beforehand that you were interested in it and-”

“I’d love to!” You confirm lightly, grabbing onto his arm softly and tugging him kindly towards his things. He falls into pace with you quickly and soon you make it over to where the ukulele sat. He was about to sit down and start playing, but noting that many of your comrades were asleep, he pulled you over to a more secluded space. You sat down, criss-crossed, and leaned your back on a fallen tree. Armin does the same, and you are painfully aware at how close he is to you. If you moved less than an inch to your right, your knees would brush against each other. He takes a deep breath before meeting your eyes and giving you a bashful look.

“I’m sorry if it might sound sour,” he prefaces. You shake your head and smile.

“I’m sure it’ll be lovely.” Armin inhaled sharply before placing his fingers in specific places on what he called the fretboard, and hovered his other hand over the parts of the strings that crossed over the hole. He strums it softly and a few notes filtered from it, pleasing your ears immediately. As he continues to play the instrument, you begin to feel more at peace than you had in awhile. The end of the little song came too quickly, and when Armin looked up to see your reaction, he was met with your awestruck face.

“So…?” He asked, wincing in preparation for what he believed would be a beration from you.

“Wow…” you breathe out. Your hand finds itself on top of the one that was previously strumming, causing Armin to blush. “Armin that was beautiful.” You confess, your eyes meeting him again. You hadn’t registered that you had, indeed, moved more than an inch closer to him. You were even more grateful that he had decided to pull you into more of a private area, thankful that it was just the two of you. Both of your heads moved unconsciously closer to each other, only stopping before your noses could touch. Armin raises a shaky hand towards your cheek, cupping it softly.

“May I?” He asks meekly, a furious blush on his face. You nod instantly.

“Please.” It was more tender than you could’ve ever imagined. His lips were soft and light when they met yours, just like his personality. Like the song, it ended too fast.

“Play for me again sometime?” You quip confidently, earning a quiet laugh from the blonde who was merely inches from you.

“Anytime.”

[firstknightss]

GWAINCELOT ESSAY THREE???

[commentary voice] ah yes and this gwaincelot essay.... which turned into a fic was inspired by @nextstopparis and @little-ligi

GWAINE TEACHING LANCELOT HOW TO READ. and thats how they actually CONFESS.

imagine gwaine seeing lancelot trip up reading leon’s plan for the day, seeing him trying to understand it. and gwaines, hes a little in love. Hes. Hes a little hit with feelings for this Noble (tm) knight. So OF COURSE he CANT EMOTION and he tries to show his affection for lancelot without yknow being in ‘loVE’

he comes over with his swishy hair and bantery tone like “oooOhHh LANCELOT! Lancey! Hey! Hello! Can’t read leon’s goddamn awful handwriting huh?”

And Lancelots embarrassed and flushes red and gwaine thinks hes Fucked Up (and he really doesn’t want to fuck this up, this is the first time he’s actually felt emotions this deep for someone) and tries to fix it panickedly, like the Anxiety Clown He Is.

He keeps on saying sorry and apologising, and Lancelot, the EVER CALM KNIGHT GUY, goes “it’s fine, it’s okay. It’s nothing to do with you...” and then he hesitates. He HESITATES. “....it’s just that...” and then he BITES HIS LIP and gwaine thinks he might just faint there and then, “...i cant read.”

and now it hits him, gwaine, gwaine, who thought literacy was something trash and something he didn’t really need, realises how important it is. and so, yknow because hes kind of wrapped in those Emotions (tm), he pulls lancelot’s sleeve after practice, when they’re alone in the changing room. (and if lancelot wasn’t so tired and miserable, he would have easily seen gwaine BLUSH)

And he, shyly asks if lancelot wouldnt mind being tutored by him.

Now Lancelot is OVERJOYED, and he’s borderline CRYING because lancelot, poor old village boy lancelot who’d been kicked out of the knights of camelot, and had to become a MERCENARY and fight for masters who didn’t care for him, has NEVER HAD someone literally CARE about him so much. (Apart from Merlin. He loves merlin <3)

so now imagine lancelot waking up an hour early the next morning, and showing up into gwaine’s room. He knows gwaine literally doesnt sleep with a lock, so he just barges in, and starts shaking gwaine.

Now GWAINE sleeps like a Log (had so much shit going on irl, time to sleep it away) and when he opens his bleary eyes, seeing lancelot in one of his stupid v neck shirts over him, hes like “....h...helo??”

and lancelot’s all like. “We- werent YOU gonna give me reading lessons.” And gwaine nods, yawning (and in that moment lancelot thinks gwaine looks unimaginably cute, so cute that he wants to literally ruffle gwaine’s hair and run his hands through how silky and brown it is.)

THEN gwaine pulls on the dont care-ish mask, and makes his arms into a pillow under his head, as he leans against the wall behind his bed, in some kind of somewhat???flirty??? manner??? [i dont...i dont know what hes trying to do. On the other hand! Not does Lancelot :) ]

Lancelot, does not realise this is gwaine’s poor attempt at flirting - since he’s seen gwaine ACTUALLY flirting and this is like. Nothing. And its also poorly executed. Which is NOTHING like gwaine.

So he pulls gwaine’s arm, and half hauls him out of bed.

As gwaine’s head crashes into lancelot’s stomach, he can smell lancelot’s clothes. They smell of flowers, and cotton and everything so natural and gwaine, who literally smells of wine, and wood and Tavern. (And aftershave, or the 500AD equivalent)

[see here, see im trying to bring themes of dionysis okay. OkayyyyyyyyY. yours truly likes looking at greek mythology. And both these two complete dionysis]

Gwaine, in his sleepy stupor, nestles his head on Lancelot’s hip, who gives a sigh and stands there. One hand clutching gwaine’s, leaving the other free.....

....to rake through his soft, flowy brown hair. And twirl his fingers through its waves, and Gwaine cuddles in further.

And since Lancelot left the door open, Leon (the other bitch who wakes up at 4am to do idk nothing) sees them two...like that, illuminated by the SUNLIGHT behind them, and smiles a little.

And then he trips over the stairs, the moment is lost.

Gwaine and Lancelot pull away at the same time, and gwaine’s face turns back to “ha ha im a Jerk (tm)” and if he wasnt too busy trying to hide how flustered he was, he’d see Lancelot looking at him the way he used to look at GWEN.

They both blink and look at each other, understandingly, neither of them to speak of this again.

And then Gwaine drags himself out of bed, and Lancelot raises his eyebrows as he watches him (totally not checking him out) haul out a book from his cupboard.

Gwaine’s too sleepy for this, he keeps yawning and rubbing his eyes (looking like a cat, Lancelot notes) and Lancelot takes a deep breath, his eyes understanding.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Lancelot, I love..” he bites his tongue, cursing his half asleep mind “..doing this, and love hanging out with you...I just cant stay up this early.”

Reading lessons, from now on, are at 1:30am-whenever Gwaine and Lancelot stop rambling about Odysseus and Circe and Telemachus

[i dont know any other ancient books apart from like. Ancient greek/Roman ones. So i guess. Its not historically accurate,,,,BUUIT this is a fanfic for a pair who had like no scenes together SO i think i can take some ✨creative liberties✨]

Lancelot has heard of the journey of Aneas from travelling bards, singing songs in his native old english. Gwaine’s eyes are quick at latin, and he learnt the flaws of Romulus and Remus in his pure latin. Gwaine’s a good teacher, and lancelot is a quick study, and it’s not long before they’re arguing over which Goddess caused the most harm in the Illiad.

Gwaine’s never met someone who he could reveal that he loved reading to, he loved doing.

Lancelot’s never met someone who he could tell he couldn’t read, and ask if they could teach him, love learning.

They make it work.

The other knights notice, of course they notice. Percival notices how Lancelot stumbles into the Gwaine’s room at night, bright eyed. Elyan notices Lancelot and Gwaine’s voices from Gwaine’s room opposite him; sometimes slow, Gwaine speaking slowly and Lancelot following; sometimes heated and passionate.

(They’re arguing. They’re arguing about how to pronounce Minerva)

Merlin finds the two, in the early hours of the morning - when the birds are figuring what song they sing today - on Gwaine’s bed.

Gwaine leaned against the bedframe, his trousered legs splayed over the sheets. Loosely braided, long brown hair fell over his closed eyelids, his mouth in a small smile.

And Merlin follows his arm draped over Lancelot, snuggled beside him, his head on his broad shoulder, every breath of wind pushing against curly black hair, making it almost /bounce/. His eyes are covered by the other man’s hair, and he looks...content. More content than Merlin has ever seen him.

He slips out as quietly as he came in, and smirks, hes gotta tell arthur they finally got their shit together oh GOD

Its no surprise to anyone but them, when Arthur pulls Lancelot out of training, and into his chambers.

“I’m glad you’ve found someone Lancelot.” He starts, his face geniune, his voice giving away hints of relief. (He thought he was never going to see his knight smile again after all the ordeals that had happened to him)

“Oh...” Lancelot’s heart sinks, “...how did you find out, Sire?”

Arthur blinks, taking in the change of mood in Lancelot, maybe it wasn’t anything important, maybe they were trying to keep it casual, hell they didnt want the king knowing.

“I- uh, I just noticed...” Goddamnit Merlin, and Goddamn his need to tell him everything he saw. (Merlin had advised him not to do this, as they sat on his bed after a long night. This was really his fault.)

Lancelot pales, and he places his hands down on the table beside him, palms slapping stone as he did so.

“Well, I guess I should tell you the whole truth then,” his voice is quiet, and Arthur steps closer, “Sire I am not of Noble birth, and was born in a village - as you know.”

Arthur nods, his arms crossed, but his Kingly Bravado fell away at the sight of his knight, and one of his closest friends, being this vulnerable.

“Yes I know, but what does this ha-“

“And we children in the village we-“ he falters, “-we were never taught to read.”

“Yes, no I understand, I-“ he pauses, Lancelot’s words hitting him a bit too late, this was about literacy?

This, this whole conversation was about literacy?

Not being gay?

Merlin was going to have a field day

“Sire?”

“I understand Lancelot, and is this why you feel a little out of place with the other knights?” He carries it on, with a smile, he has a few questions to ask merlin.

“Yes, and that’s why I asked Gwaine to tutor me from time to time, although, the sessions carry through late into the night, which may have been affecting my performance at practice. I’ll have you know that this is a temporary th-“

“It’s fine Lancelot,” Arthur places a hand on his shoulder, “You are still exceptional at practice,”

“Thank you Sire,” Lancelot twinkles.

✨

“Theyre, theyre not together?” Merlin cant stop laughing, tears streaming down his face, “theyre not TOGETHER?? oh my God arthur what did you DO”

They sit together on Arthur’s bed, drinking wine from stemless cups together, with Arthur recounting the events of the day; red faced.

“I mean, it was your idea Merlin.”

“I just saw them, and I assumed...I didnt...I didnt think youd ASK them.”

“What do you think I’d do then?? Let them be on their merry way.”

“Yes!”

✨

“Do you like me?” Gwaine asks, unexpectedly, one night, the moon vibrant against the loud sea.

“You’re...tolerable...” Lancelot says, a smile tugging at his lips, as the silver moonlight falls against his hair, a halo around him.

✨

The knights give them the look every morning, as the two of them stumbled out of the same room, more frequently than ever.

Sometimes Lancelot would throw on Gwaine’s shirt, when he’d crumpled his own beyond repair. Sometimes Gwaine would put some of Lancelot’s hair oil on, when his hair was frizzy.

They gave each other knowing looks when Gwaine and Lancelot started whispering and giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls.

✨

And then Stupid gwaine had to go get fucking stabbed, and their delicate dance was like trying to waltz through a minefield.

Lancelot clutches onto Gwaine’s arm as Merlin feels his forehead with shaking hands.

“He’s burning up.”

“Infection...?” Lancelot sounds broken, and nods, fumbling with his pack to find some bandages.

It was just a simple quest; a save the day, get the girl, do various harmless shenanigans type of quest.

He’d half expected Gwaine to get the girl, and he cant help but give out a half choked laugh. Gwaine had no idea what hit him when she turned out to be the evil one all along.

He tries to forget that Gwaine showed no interest in her, he tries to forget that Gwaine’s been less frequent at the Tavern, he tries to forget that he hasn’t seen Gwaine with anyone since months now.

Gwaine, his beautiful Gwaine was lying on his lap, hot red blood rushing from his side, staining his polished chainmail with dark, sticky blood.

He’s been out for nearly an hour now, and Lancelot remembers carrying him, through the entire forest, forgetting his sword and his helmet and just grabbing Gwaine and getting the shit out of there.

Gwaine’s lack of self preservation was really rubbing off on Lancelot nowadays.

Merlin watches as Lancelot holds back tears, his own eyes stinging. Gwaine can’t die like this, he can’t die like this....

“hælan beorn adl”

Merlin’s eyes flashed gold, and Lancelot could feel warmth coming back into the fingers he was grabbing.

He was coming back.

And then the weight of everything hits him.

He was in Fucking Love.

✨

“Hey.” Gwaine’s voice is rough from disuse, but Lancelot nearly sobs when he hears the voice.

“Don’t fucking do that to me again, amor meus.” He puts his head down on Gwaine’s chest; finding the hammering of his heart calming.

He shimmies onto Merlin’s bed, which Gwaine had been lying in for the past few days.

“Did you mean, ami meus?” Gwaine sounds tired, too tired to be awake.

“Huh? Did i say something else?” Lancelot decides to play dumb, a sparkle in his eyes,

“I thought I heard amor meus,” Gwaine pushes his nose into Lancelot’s hair, taking in the wonderful smell of coconut.

“Well then, at least your hearing’s okay, amor meus.”

Gwaine gulped, and was sure Lancelot could hear his loud swallow.

“Lancelot, I hope this isnt a big joke with me teachin you latin and all,” Gwaine’s voice is a little wobbly from the slee deprivation and the magic and the pain numbers, “because I’ll have you know that I really love you, and I cant go on like this any longer,”

“Its okay Gwaine, I learnt latin from the man I love, of course it’s not a joke.”

“The man you love? Who’s tha-“

Realisation hits him like a brick.

Oh.

Oh.

“Me?” His voice cracks, and Lancelot looks up, a smirk on his face.

“Of course dumbass.”

“Like I’m meant to know that,” Gwaine tries to keep his dont care-ish aura, but they both know he’s too exhausted to keep that up.

“mmm?”

Gwaine kisses him on the nose, and he wraps himself around him.

And thats how Merlin finds them later that day, eyes blinking as he stood there.

✨

“I’m glad you’ve found someone, Lancelot.” Arthur coughs.

“Is that what that whole talk was about???”

“Answer the question.” His words sound harsh, but he’s barely hiding a smile.

“I’m glad too, I’m Glad I found Gwaine too.” Lancelot blushes, turning to gwaine.

“Why are you asking anyway, Princess?”

“Oh just, making sure this time.”

[rfadaydreaming]

jumin han / nsfw abc’s

the ceo in all his glory <3 original post here

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

so attentive to all your needs. needs a minute for you both to catch your breath and come back down to earth, but almost instantly he’s all over you. wraps his arms around you, kisses your neck, murmurs words of affection into your skin. plays with your hair and listens to you talk about whatever you please, you’ll be doing most of the talking since he’s pretty quiet after sex. super casual and even somewhat lazy aura after the whole thing, he’s not lying when he says he gets drunk off of you. not exactly tired, just super calm and relaxed. after some snuggling he’ll offer to clean you up, run a bath, order food, or just stay in bed together if that’s what you’d like to do. whatever you prefer, he’s perfectly content.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he’s not fond of anything in particular on himself, hasn’t really thought about it much? but if he had to choose, he does like the way his hands look. his fingers are long and soft, they look especially good dancing across your skin, or covered in your cum. the last one he prefers the most <3

for his partner, it's the finer details that really get to him the most. the tiny things that no one would otherwise notice. the back of your neck, inside of your wrists, the softness of the skin between your thighs. even the freckles that dot your skin, every tiny little detail comes together to perfectly form you. that’s why it’s his favorite. finds it beautiful. victorian man over here !! hide your ankles

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

loves finishing inside. theres just something about it for him. stands back to admire as it pools out of you, much to your embarrassment. uses his tip to gather it all up, pushing it inside you again before starting round two. will love if you get all flustered about the whole thing too.

when you come to visit him in the office, he’ll finish inside and quickly pull your underwear up so nothing has the chance to spill out, a mess like that on the floor would be tough to explain. bonus points if you wear them throughout the day only for him to find out when he gets home from work, it will drive him crazy.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

got turned on when you said his name during the phone call the two of you shared shortly after you had joined the RFA. he’s never had that happen from someone’s voice alone, but then again, no one has said his name in such a slow and quiet way like that before. made him feel a little uncomfortable with himself, so he just ignored it and tried his best to forget. but you were definitely on his mind later that night. thats one of my favorite calls skdhksbs he was so surprised

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

no experience, like... none at all. maaaybe has watched porn once or twice but it didn’t really do anything for him, so he never picked it up again. the type to sit through sex scenes in movies completely unphased.

he knows basic anatomy of course—had a good education so he's aware of what’s going on—but only really researches the hidden tips and tricks once he gets in a deeper relationship with you. seven probably sends him know how links out of concern, they do help though !! he’s a naturally observant man as well, so he’s quick to learn what you like, the things that get you moaning and squirming the most. Not afraid to ask what you want from him. honestly if he hadn’t told you, you wouldn’t have a clue about his inexperience. boosts his ego sm <3

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

any position where you’re bent over he loves. doggy style, over his desk, against a wall.

also loves when you ride him while he’s sat at his work desk, gives him a good position to let his hands run wild all over your body. something about sitting in his office with you over him like that, riding him. really likes that.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

obviously he can smile or throw in a few sarcastic quips here and there, but overall takes the whole thing pretty seriously. gets a little nervous if you laugh for no reason, throws him off for a second. it’s pretty serious for him, sometimes there's off moments here and there of course, but he’d rather skip over them than dwell for too long. not a lot of laughs, he’s busy focusing on the task at hand. hold in your laughter please he will get offended

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

doesn’t shave completely, makes him feel weird when he does, but keeps himself trimmed often. prefers the neatness.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

prefers intimacy more than anything else, kissing your neck or wrists while he slowly thrusts in and out of you, whispering sweet words into your shoulder while he does so. he’ll trail your skin with his fingers and leave behind little pecks. loved asking questions or pointing out little things you might not have even noticed that he's absolutely in love with, freckles or birthmarks for example.

but that doesn’t mean he can’t also be rough. he likes bending you over, grabbing a fistful of your hair, making you beg for him. versatile king

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Before he met you:

rarely, he would do it on occasion? If he had a stubborn urge that just wouldn’t go away for some reason, but never really got the feeling for it. If he did, he never fantasized too much, just focused on the feeling until he was done. feels gross for the rest of the day after he does it, makes his head foggy.

After he met you:

still doesn’t do it too often, he has you after all. If the mood strikes he’ll ask if you’d like to help him out with his problem. phone sex is common on business trips, so he does it then, and if you want him to touch himself in front of you, he definitely will without a second thought. but unprompted and alone, no. he’d rather just wait.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

possessive sex. If you spend too much time with zen, someone flirts with you too openly, or even when he just starts to get caught up in his own head, the sex that comes after is intense. especially at events. he’ll make it a point to smudge your makeup, leave marks on your skin, turn you into a drooling mess. he’ll have you repeat who you belong to, make you beg for permission to finish, really gets off on being the one in charge. domination kink

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

home is probably his favorite just because it’s where you’re most comfortable getting loud, you both can spend as much time as you need there without any interruptions. the office is a close second though.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

when you wear short skirts with nothing else underneath them, especially if you come to visit him in the office. bonus points if he’s insanely busy that day and doesn’t have time to bend you over his desk. text him beforehand and watch how many times his eyes shift to your legs, the way he looks at you. really drives him up the wall. but besides that most of the time all you have to do is speak and he’s ready to go, all day every day. say the word and he’s yours.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

no choking, slapping, drawing blood, anything too intense in the bedroom that’s super violent. It just.. doesn’t get him going. he’s not too picky with what he will or won’t do, but that isn’t his cup of tea.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

either or, if you give he’ll always give back and vice versa. prefers giving a bit more honestly, loves seeing you come undone from his mouth alone, but no complaints if you sneak under his desk at work and start undoing his belt.

skillswise it does take him a bit of getting used to at first, but he warms up quickly as he gets to know your body more. again, observant and a very quick learner. will never complain about his jaw hurting, never ever. groans a lot into you while he’s doing it, let’s himself get himself lost in the whole thing.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

it depends on the mood or how either of you feel that day. he does prefer slow and intimate just a bit more than anything else, but isn’t strongly leaning towards one or the other.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

proper sex if he’s able to, only likes quickies when you two are in public and or a time crunch, but they’re definitely not his favorite. If he does have to finish quickly, he’s sure to make it up to you later. they’re surprisingly often though, especially if you drop by his office. you’ll always leave looking way redder than you did before.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

most anything you want to try, he’ll try. He wants to make you happy. I don't see him being overly kinky right off the bat since he doesn’t have much experience? but he’s down for new things. pretty risky, loves public sex after all.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

at first not too long due to his inexperience, but he learns to hold back more as time passes. pretty good at controlling himself, wants to see you come undone as many times as he can before he finishes himself. after a hard day at work he can only last a round or two, but normally he can go for awhile.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

doesn’t own toys for himself, but has a few he’d buy for you. has quite the selection of vibrators. his favorite is a pink one that's controlled by his phone, it gets quite a bit of use, especially during events. handcuffs and blindfolds too !! always super pink, he likes that color for you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

unfair, making you beg, edging you until you can’t bear it any longer, embarrassing you especially with his dirty talk. doesn’t hold back in the slightest, so it’s never fair for you. he’s selfish after all.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

grunts, groans, little “fuck”s under his breath. more vocal as he gets closer to coming, he breathes heavier and groans deeper in his throat. It’s never super loud, he’s way more on the quiet side. prefers to hear your sounds more than anything else so he's focused on that the most, doesn’t really moan too much.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

cannot send nudes for the life of him. like, it’s bad. super blurry, awkward, or way too dark. it’s cute whenever he tries though. for some reason they’re just so painfully awkward looking. opt for phone sex instead

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

never measured himself officially? but he's on the lengthier side— more than seven inches for sure, he leans up more towards his stomach but overall very straight, no curves or anything. cut, not too many veins except for one prominent one his underside that will absolutely drive him insane if you run your tongue across it, his tip is very red and incredibly sensitive, jumps a little if you go in on it way too fast. he has way more length than he does girth, and the size stays the same all throughout. i know his dick is pretty i just feel it

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

before he met you, low. but after he met you, all those years of repressed sexual frustration really started to show huh, he can’t go more than five minutes without keeping his hands off of you. It’s high, especially at the beginning of the relationship.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

depends on how work was that day !! But no matter what he tends to stay up for a while afterwards. you’re much more likely to fall asleep before him most of the time. he likes think for awhile first.

[starsaver94]

Hey there to start off with feel free to delete this ask if the requests are closed or your uncomfortable i don't mind ^^"

But if they are open can I get a danganronpa match up please?

Pronouns: he/him they/them (she/her makes me abit uncomfortable but I don't mind aslong as you try to use my preferred Pronouns)

Sexuality: idk man but all I know is that I like everyone no matter the gender

I'm a Taurus

I'm actually into digital art, irl art and role-playing as my hobbies and if I wasn't so paranoid I would say walking around at night and watching the stars what can I say? I find them very calming

I enjoy coffee (sugary coffee sue me its good) ,my sleep schedule is out of wack, I actually could live without this but I like to splash around in water (like rivers) with family and friends, clumsy? Thats me, I over think ALOT, I sometimes find that people find join in me insulting some charaters so I do that sometimes, plushies everywhere, I tend to find affection like hugs or cuddles is my love language ig

I have a sweet tooth and I tend to get uncomfortable when people approach me and I don't know them that well I also start getting a little panicy when im in large crowds it gets a little worse when I don't know anyone, i get scared by people(mostly groups of em) yelling

Oh boy what I look for a partner? Not much really would be shocked anyone liked me in the first place- ummm I do tend to be really clingy so maybe someone who likes stuff like that or is just down to cuddle, I also kinda hate when they just kinda brush off the fact were dating like there avoiding me about it and not showing any physical affection (don't ask why that was on here)

I have a love hate relationship with horror stuff because I'm into some horror stuff and others I am afraid of.

Ive been told im like a big sister but I do know o can be really childish or really chill

I can't really handle someone like a lover being away from me (such as in another country) more then a week and a half due to fear of forever being alone

I adore loving names and flirting is honestly fine with me won't garentee im not flushed and sputtering out nonsense tho- also I like oreos

I do enjoy mythology tho its fun for me to read or watch

Anyway I hope that was enough again feel free to delete this if your uncomfortable or the requests aren't open And I hope you have a good day/night/noon person! - novari

Ps: I apologize for my bad punctuation and grammar along with spelling

I pair you with…

Makoto Naegi!

Ah, this sweet boy.

Makoto doesn’t mind your clingy nature. 

Makoto enjoys cuddle sessions, even though they usually make him a bit flustered.

He almost always has a bag of candy on him since you both have a bit of a sweet tooth.

Even though he usually gets flustered or embarrassed by PDA, he’s not afraid to show you off or tell people that you two are dating.

He always makes sure that you’re comfortable in crowded area, or even around his friends/classmates.

He likes to call you nicknames like: Sweetie, Honey, and Clover (because of his status as the Ultimate Lucky Student).

He’ll sometimes lend you his hoodie when it’s cold out.

[mlmdarkfiction]

maybe this is too specific lol but could i have hc's for yandere yoosung & jumin being just a little too happy when their crush (who's a trans dude) asks them on tips for being more masculine or just for passing as a guy overall? like they're a little bit happy over the control that gives them & the opportunity to get closer to them? anyways hope you have a great day, love your blog

I JUST REALIZED THIS SAYS HCS AND I WROTE TWO WHOLE ASS FICS UHHH-

I hope this is okay...if you want headcanons let me know! I also didn’t make them very yandere aside from yoosung (but thats kinda canon) because my brain said full comfort. Apparently despite writing all the time I have NO reading comprehension. I cannot read. 

Anyway! I really loved this request actually! and I might try my hand at writing one for all of the RFA and attatch it to this one in separate chapters.  I may even attempt at writing a version with nonbinary specfic, and trans woman specfic reader if there’s interest because lets be real we need more trans reader content for EVERYONE

OBVIOUS CONTENT WARNING FOR DYSPHORIA MENTIONS Read on AO3:

Read Below:

Yoosung:

____: Hey Yoosung?

It’s only a text.

A simple text.

It’s not like you two haven’t texted privately without the gaze of the other RFA members, before.

But all those other instances...It was mostly him who initiated it.

You’re texting him!

You’re really texting him!

And he didn’t even text you first!

He couldn’t be more thrilled if he tried.

Unfortunately for his grades, Yoosung’s homework has been completely ignored, and in his rush to respond back he’s almost completely dropped his phone on his face.

Yoosung: YES Yoosung: Sorry! OMG I didn’t mean to use all caps!!!

He doesn’t have the excuse of caps lock, after all he’s using a phone, not a computer.

Thankfully for him, you find him and his eagerness cute.

It takes a while before he gets another text from you.

He spends the minutes waiting, and watching the three little bubbles on his phone that indicate you’re typing.

There’s no way for the blonde to know it yet, but it’s taking you so long to respond back because you’re

It wasn’t long into your time with the RFA that you told them you were trans. There was just something about the way they assumed you were a woman right away that had made you uncomfortable, so not only did you tell them you were a man, but you told them why exactly that had bothered you.

And to your surprise, everyone had taken it relatively well!

But it doesn’t mean you’re any less anxious. You doubt you’ll ever get over being anxious when it comes to these things.

Finally though you’re able to steel your resolve, and send the text.

____: Do you think there’s anything I could do to pass better?

It takes Yoosung an embarrassing time to realize what you mean. He’s still not the most informed about trans issues, despite trying to learn more so that he can (one day) be a better partner to you.

He wants to be someone you can rely on!

____: Passing.

More texts, because he took way too long to reply.

____: Or like…

____: I just want to look more masculine, you know? Like you

You think he looks masculine?

Yes!

Fuck yes!

But…

Here comes the problem.

Yoosung has never really thought about how he looks, not in the sense of masculinity.

In fact he only really thinks about how he looks when Zen or someone else brings it up.

He kind of just...wears the one hoodie, and aside from a couple of incidents when he was younger no one’s ever really mistaken him for a girl before.

So he just responds the best way he knows how, even if it’s kind of cheesy.

Yoosung: I don’t know how to help with that.

And...For good measure he sends his regular starry eyed emoji before continuing his text, unaware his pause caused you more anxiety.

Yoosung: You’re already more masculine than me!

It’s an honest answer.

If anyone else had said it you wouldn’t have believed them, you would have chalked it up to them just wanting to humor you, but coming from someone like Yoosung you were inclined to believe him.

Jumin:

You’re happy.

Happier now then you had been in a while.

Perhaps for the first time ever truly in your life.

It didn’t mean you still didn’t have troubles, or anxieties.

Like now.

Even as you’re holding onto Jumin’s arm you can’t help but feel a little...self conscious at his side.

It’s nothing he or his business partners have done, that’s just how it is sometimes, especially when dysphoria is involved.

There’s nothing to cause it.

Sometimes it’s just sudden.

Something about being in the room with a bunch of rich and powerful men, although as Jumin’s husband you too are technically a rich and powerful man, makes you feel bad about yourself.

You manage to find a moment in between the conversation to quietly interject,

“Excuse me, Gentlemen, I’m going to go to the restroom.”

There’s nothing off putting about the statement. The meeting had been going on for about an hour now, it was only natural someone at the meeting would need to excuse themselves.

No one thinks anything of it.

No one but Jumin.

And since you’re leaving you don’t notice you’re being watched. You don’t see the way Jumin’s dark eyes follow your form as you leave.

Having anxiety meant that running away to hide in bathrooms, or any other private space you could find, wasn’t exactly uncommon.

It’s nothing new.

You avoid the sight of the mirrors, your own reflection, like the plague as you make your way to a stall, quickly closing it and taking a deep breath.

A moment of peace, a moment to regain your thoughts. That’s all you needed.

Although you know it’s unlikely anyone in the meeting had bad thoughts about you, and even less likely they’d voice them around Jumin, it didn’t help the deep seeded paranoia. That somehow everyone knew you were trans, and that because of them knowing they viewed you as less than them.

And Jumin could only do so much to protect you. He hadn’t asked you to even come along on this trip, you’d been the one to offer, wanting to stop hiding in the shadows but…

People talk.

Tabloids talk.

The more you find yourself stuck alone in the stall trying to force yourself to calm down the more worked up you become.

When someone finally knocks on the stall you almost jump out of your skin entirely.

“Uh-” You clear your throat, and try to make your voice sound deeper in your anxiety. “Occupied?”

A familiar sigh sounds from behind the door, and instantly your shoulders droop with lessened anxiety.

“____?”

“...Yeah.”

As soon as you’ve opened the stall door you’re pulled tightly into a hug.

Jumin doesn’t necessarily understand exactly what you’re going through, you both know it. You’ve tried to explain dysphoria to him before, and although he understands the basics that’s all really...and to be fair it’s not as if a cis person ever could truly understand what gender dysphoria is like…

But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to do everything in his power to make you feel better.

And at least, no matter how you saw yourself, you knew Jumin saw you as his husband.