#and i figure i can make another set in the future with the other things i wanted to include
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t-u-i-t-c · 4 days ago
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Taiya & Genba │ Lap 3
"Genba has just lost track of his wheel. That's all."
+ bonus
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ashherahh · 3 months ago
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your first time with your future spouse +18
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Note: Please take it if it resonates, leave it if it doesn't. Meditate before making your decision. It's completely okay if you don't resonate with this reading. The collective is huge and I'm sure you'll receive the messages you need in due time.
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pile 1
You're seen as quite meek by most people and even by your future spouse when you first meet them. Eventually they learn what a little freak you are! You're so prim and proper and polite in front of others but when you're alone you're a bit depraved. You're what people would call a mental slut.
The energy I'm picking up is that you weren't really sexually compatible with previous partners and so you just thought that you're not someone who feels that intense sexual attraction people always seem to be talking about. That doesn't stop all the thoughts you have.
There's a strong energy of abstinence but there's definitely an underlying energy of someone that is like a caged werewolf under a full moon.
To explain what I'm seeing, it's as though you do get sexually aroused but no one seems to tick your boxes in a sense so you haven't gone all the way in a hot minute. It's like mentally, you're really pumped up and then you're in front of someone and it's like being thrown with a bucket of ice water. I am seeing a problem with climaxing and your mind kind of wanders a bit.
When you first do the deed with your future spouse, you give disclosures and you do make them aware of how you feel about sex and your experiences. You're very open with them, mainly because you don't want to get your hopes up and you don't want them to be disappointed.
Your future spouse is very patient with you and they're very understanding. I'm seeing you're very comfortable with them, that's why the two of you are able to discuss intimacy so openly.
Lemme tell you something, they are so confident in themselves and they're going to teach you a thing or two. Wink wink, nudge nudge.
They keep this to themselves because they don't want you to overthink your first time together and they want to keep you as present in the act as they possibly can.
You ever crave something but you can't seem to figure out what it is? Then when you do stumble across it, it's like puzzle pieces falling in place. That's what your first time with them is like.
I'm seeing that they hold you quite close to them through the entire act. They'll keep your back to their front or they'll put you in positions where you feel like they're all over you.
They talk you through it, not really dirty talk but more like they give you a lot of praises. I'm seeing that they touch your belly a lot, that's a very sensitive spot for you that you didn't even know about.
Your future spouse has stamina and I do see it takes a while for you to orgasm the first time but their focus is completely on you. They really get off on seeing you thoroughly pleasured. You two leave each other feeling so satisfied, and it only gets better from there.
pile 2
You love your future spouse's voice and their hands. It's as though your entire body is voice activated around them. That's the first thing you notice about them. I'm seeing that they have an accent different from yours as well.
They have a very commanding energy. Someone who is very solid and stable and career oriented. Big boss vibes.
They use that same energy in the bedroom...
Hehehe oh they like to stand behind you and whisper in your ear, even if it's normal things, they like to tease you and see your reaction to them.
They have beautiful hands and because they've picked up on how much you like that part of them, they're constantly putting them on display so to speak. They also like to flex around you too. The physical attraction between the two of you is so carnal and thick, you could cut through it with a knife.
You two know each other, I am seeing a work setting. You're in an environment with them whereby if you weren't, you wouldn't know one another or be in the same circles because of how different you are. I am seeing that you guys are not dating when you have sex for the first time but it does become an exclusive relationship afterwards.
You mask your attraction to them behind annoyance, but because they're quite attractive and very charismatic, they can see it and they do things on purpose to get a rise out of you. Your discussions become quite heated with them, they like to debate with you.
Your future spouse is a brat tamer and you're a brat. Even if you're not into the BDSM lifestyle, they're definitely not vanilla, that's the kind of dynamic you have. So, your first time with them is very... unplanned. It's sudden and kind of just happens but it's so explosive. I see this happening in their space so to speak.
They spent so long teasing you and riling you up, that they have been doing it to themselves in the process as well.
It's as though your spouse was waiting so long for this and they have no control at all. They're like someone starved and they want to do everything with you. Meanwhile you're just head empty because did you want this all along? Ohmygoodness, you did!
Goodness, your first time is more like a quickie because you two just can't control yourselves around each other!
You both come to terms with your true feelings for each other during the act. It's like a revelation. You can't get enough of one another.
pile 3
Tantric sex. Your first time with your future spouse is so spiritual, it's proper lovemaking. Not rushed, no anxiety, no overthinking. This is like a joining of souls.
I'm seeing that you and you future spouse take the act of sex very, very seriously. You two are very involved in spirituality so you both don't want any unwanted soul ties or things like that. I am seeing you two waiting a looooong time before having sex. I'm seeing strongly that many of you will wait until you're married, I'm not seeing a conventional marriage ceremony either.
Because of the lifestyle you practice, you want to make sure that you're in this forever. Your future spouse already feels that they'll spend the rest of their earthly life with you and so they're not rushed to have you the first time. You on the other hand... you're chomping at the bit to have them and they know it but they always redirect your energy. Your libido seems a lot higher than theirs on the surface, but it's only because they've been practicing on controlling theirs a lot longer than you have.
I see that they were born into this lifestyle and these spiritual practices, and you only started later in life.
They try and get you to do other activities to get your mind off of sex but sometimes you'll just be looking at them and they'll catch you and be like, "Nah uh, not my goodies, not yet."
It's really not that they don't want you but they want things to be in place before they have you like that so to speak. Sometimes, even though you understand where they're coming from, you still feel at times that they're not into you.
All of that goes out of the window your first time with them!
They really set the mood with candles and music. They take their time preparing you as well. They'll give you a full body massage. They love to use their mouth on you... So, foreplay will have them with their head between your legs for a while.
I'm seeing that their eyes are on you constantly, even in the throws of pleasure they'll try to keep looking into your eyes. They'll be watching your reactions and they love to hear you.
Phew! It's hot in here!
You were not expecting your future spouse to be so intense and so passionate. Their sexual energy is not really "aggressive", it's more sensual. They want all of your senses to be tantalised. All of those times they have you do something else will be so worth it.
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bumblequinn · 1 year ago
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hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.
as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)
but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:
changing expectations
the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!
my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.
when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.
so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?
with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.
with that in mind:
#1: work slower
when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.
instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.
i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm only—[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!
now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.
doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.
however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:
#2: switch projects
sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.
this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.
the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-mole—though i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.
what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.
but it doesn't have to stop there.
#3: switch focus
maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?
let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:
what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today. okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now. alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily? what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?
and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?
what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for? what if i try sampling something obscure? what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?
any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.
or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.
but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:
#4: learn something new
when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.
for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. 🦜🏴‍☠️)
it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)
that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:
music theory and composition music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang
mixing and production dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix
general inspiration nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!
(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! 💓)
of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:
#5: consume art you love
not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.
but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.
and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.
what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.
as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.
none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.
and finally,
#6: rest, and live your life
let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?
take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).
it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machine—and even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.
i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.
when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)
before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:
be kind to yourself.
being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to you—don't be one of them.
i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.
i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.
thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.
with care, bee 🐦
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doumadono · 11 months ago
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Warnings: smut w/o plot, cunningulus, f!reader, squirting, fingering, alcohol use, voyeurism Synopsis: after the war, you and Shigaraki spend time together while the rest of the League prepares for the final mission. Excessive drinking leads to a moment of intimacy between you and Shigaraki, with him tasting your cunt for the first time. Unbeknownst to you, your boyfriend Touya unexpectedly returns early and witnesses the scene A/N: this piece was commissioned on my Ko-fi page by my beloved @shonen-brainrot - I'm sharing this fic with her consent. Thank you for commissioning me, baby! I hope you enjoy it! Friendly reminder to everyone else: my writing commissions are open :)
MASTERLIST KO-FI COMISSIONS: OPEN
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You spent a mere three months as a member of the League of Villains, yet during that brief period, you actively contributed to planning the Paranormal Liberation War. Despite the apparent "loss," you understood that, among other things, you achieved a strategic victory. After exiting the stage with Tomura and his other allies, you needed to keep a low profile, and so you did. Leveraging your quirk, Speed Recovery, you became a highly valuable asset to Shigaraki, aiding in the recovery of his injured allies.
Amid this intense three months period, you cultivated an unexpected understanding with the most enigmatic figure in the organization — Dabi. Astonishingly, he turned out to be the long-lost son of the Number One hero, Endeavor. Before you fully grasped it, you found yourself low-key "dating" - an understated term for the intensity of the connection. It encompassed spending endless hours together, engaging in profound conversations, and gradually closing the physical distance between you two.
Yet, an undercurrent of unease lingered as you sensed Tomura's discontent. Was he possibly envious of someone as seemingly ordinary as yourself? The uncertainty hung in the air, casting a shadow over the dynamics within the group.
You devoted considerable time meticulously plotting the retribution, even as you witnessed Tomura's growing anger and frustration. Reassuring him, you affirmed the intricacy of his plans, confidently asserting that soon you would unveil a lesson for the heroes, showing them their rightful place.
After the devastating War, Tomura visibly bore the weight of stress, engrossed in devising his next set of plans.
One evening, while the others were away preparing for the final mission, you and Tomura remained at the hideout, sipping from a shared bottle of vodka. The conversation delved into the details of the plan and the sacrifices it would inevitably demand.
Tomura took a sip, his crimson eyes fixed on you. "This mission will change everything. Sacrifices are inevitable."
You nodded, the weight of the responsibility settling in. "Yeah, but it's necessary. For a better future."
He smirked, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "A better future, huh? How optimistic."
You chuckled, recognizing his penchant for cynicism. "Well, not everyone can be as optimistic as you, Tomura."
He leaned back, fingers tapping against the bottle. "Optimism won't save us. Practicality will."
You smirked, appreciating the contrast in your perspectives. "Practicality and a bit of optimism won't hurt."
Tomura scoffed, taking another sip. "You're incorrigible."
You raised an eyebrow. "Coming from you, that's a compliment."
He chuckled, the corners of his lips curling into a rare smile. "Maybe. But let's not get too sentimental. We have work to do."
As the night wore on, the shared bottle of vodka dwindled, leaving both you and Tomura with a growing sense of intoxication.
"Thanks for the refill," you slurred appreciatively, the alcohol already making its presence felt.
Tomura, seemingly affected by the spirits as well, mused, "Can't believe Dabi didn't teach you how to drink."
You chuckled, the room swaying slightly. "Guess he missed that lesson."
With a nonchalant shrug, Tomura rose, tossing the empty bottle effortlessly into the trash bin. He went to a nearby cabinet, retrieving another bottle of alcohol and two fresh glasses.
You protested, waving your hands, but he poured you another drink, raising an eyebrow. "How are things between you and our lovely Todoroki, by the way?"
The question struck a chord, and you frowned, feeling a bit uncomfortable at the sudden turn into personal territory. "Well, you know, complicated," you replied evasively, taking a sip to buy some time.
Tomura leaned back, swirling his drink, his gaze fixed on you. "Complicated, huh? Must be quite a story."
You sighed, the alcohol loosening your tongue. "Yeah, it is. But we manage."
He nodded, taking a thoughtful sip. "Managing is something, I guess."
You attempted to shift the conversation away from your relationship with Dabi, bringing up other topics, but Tomura proved relentless. With a cocky grin, he circled back to Dabi, probing for more details.
"Come on, spill it. I want to hear the juicy bits," he taunted, swirling his drink with an unsettling confidence.
Sighing, you relented a little. "It's not that interesting, Tomura. Just the usual ups and downs. Nothing to discuss."
He leaned in, a dark glint in his eyes. "Ups and downs, huh? Sounds like there's more to it."
You rolled your eyes, realizing that steering the conversation away from Dabi was an uphill battle. "Can we talk about something else, Tomura? There's a whole world out there."
He chuckled, his laughter carrying a sinister undertone. "The world can wait."
As the night wore on, Tomura's questions became more probing, his tone growing darker and more insistent. He seemed to revel in the discomfort he caused, savoring every tidbit you reluctantly shared about your tumultuous relationship. Tomura got up, the creaking floorboards announcing his movement as he paced around the room. He cast a sly glance in your direction, the dim light highlighting the eerie grin on his face. "You know," he began, still walking, "I always suspected there was more to Dabi. But Endeavor's son? Now, that's interesting."
You shifted uncomfortably, eyeing him as he continued to circle the room. "Yeah, surprising, right?"
He chuckled, a sinister edge to his voice. "Perfect, actually. Vengeance is a powerful motivator. It'll make him even more useful for our cause."
Tomura took a place beside you on a worn-out couch, his arm casually wrapping around your shoulders. He poured another drink, his dark eyes never leaving yours.
You gave a weak smile, feeling a little uncomfortable under his scrutinizing gaze. The tension heightened as his arm tightened around your shoulders, and he handed you the freshly poured drink.
"To unexpected alliances," he proposed, raising his glass.
You clinked yours against his, the liquid burning down your throat, the room spinning with a mix of alcohol and Tomura's ominous presence.
As Tomura poured another round, he seemed undeterred by the growing level of intoxication. The air was thick with the scent of alcohol.
In the midst of another casual conversation, Tomura, with an unsettling nonchalance, steered the dialogue back to Dabi. "Did he fuck you already?" he inquired abruptly, his tone cutting through the drunken haze that surrounded you.
Your cheeks flushed, and you visibly squirmed in discomfort at the unexpected and personal nature of the question. "It's none… None of your��� Bussiness, Tomura," you hiccuped.
"Come on now, spill it. Did he or didn't he?" he pressed, a mocking grin playing on his lips.
You sighed, feeling the weight of the question. "Tomura, that's really none of your business…"
Tomura's grin widened, and he leaned back, seemingly pleased with your discomfort. "Sounds like a yes to me. Dabi's got taste, I'll give him that. Was he a gentleman, delicately tending to your needs, or more like a dog in heat, just claiming what's his?"
Your face burned hotter as you bit your lower lip, desperately downing the glass of vodka, and quickly covering your mouth after. "Something in between," you mumbled, your words slightly slurred.
Shigaraki chuckled darkly, throwing his head back. "Mmmm, I see. What a pity then. You deserve to be taken care of, baby. Such a little, pretty villain," he reached his gloved hand out and touched your cheek. The gloved touch sent shivers down your spine. "Did he eat your pussy?"
The nausea welled up inside you, and all you wanted was to escape to your tiny room and lie down. You nodded, managing a weak, "Yes," hoping it would satisfy Shigaraki and put an end to the uncomfortably intimate interrogation.
Tomura grinned, placing his glass on a tiny coffee table. He simply leaned in, crushing his lips onto yours without seeking your consent.
In your intoxicated state, attempts to push him away were feeble. His lips bore the flavor of vodka, but strangely, you found yourself not entirely opposed to the unexpected kiss. A part of you didn't mind what was happening at all, so you casually moved your lips against his in a dance influenced by the haze of alcohol.
Before you could fully comprehend the situation, his gloved hand, adorned with only two fingers covered by a black leather, slipped between your thighs and beneath the plain skirt you wore. His touch started at your thigh, skillfully massaging the soft flesh, while slowly ascending.
A gasp escaped your lips as a strange warmth began to build within your abdomen. You cursed yourself for reacting this way to your boss. You shouldn't be feeling like this; after all, you had a boyfriend. What would he think if he knew how Shigaraki's touch was affecting you? You blamed the intoxication for clouding your mind, and even if you desired to push Shigaraki away, you felt powerless; your hands seemed to weigh a ton.
Gloved fingers teased you through your panties, eliciting a gasp that escaped past your parted lips. You bit down on your lower lip, the sensations proving intoxicating, clouding the last remaining rationally-thinking parts of your brain.
As your head lolled back, resting against the back of the couch, Shigaraki licked the column of your neck. "Shhh, shhhh, it's okay. Ain't gonna hurt ya, sweetie. I just wanna make you feel good, like Dabi never did, I bet."
Shigaraki pushed the fabric of your panties aside, his touch careful as he rubbed against your folds, discovering they were already slick with your excitement. He grinned, licking his lips. "Look at you," he chuckled, hiccuping a little. "Mmm, already so wet for your boss. That's the attitude I like."
Shigaraki rose from the couch, a hiss escaping him as his pants grew uncomfortable, his dick tenting the fabric. He knelt down, parting your thighs, and took hold of the sides of your panties, skillfully tugging them down your legs until they were off completely. Bringing the garment to his nose, he sniffed it like a wild animal, licking the damp spot on the material and growling in anticipation. "Fuck," he muttered, his other hand palming himself through the fabric of his pants.
As the man licked a stripe along your slick folds, a loud whine escaped your lips, and you leaned back fully against the couch. Slowly, you brought your hand to your mouth, covering it as if to prevent all the moans from escaping. It felt so wrong, yet oh so right at the same time.
Shigaraki closed his lips around your clitoris, fervently sucking the swollen bud into his mouth. This left you writhing beneath him, moaning like a cheap whore you apparently were at that moment. His bare fingers, devoid of glove, expertly rubbed your entrance as Shigaraki continued to lap at your slick folds. The obscene noises he made filled the air, his head shaking left to right to increase the friction you sought with every roll of your hips, each movement trying to push your cunny further into his face.
"O-Oh, God…" you whimpered.
Shigaraki chuckled slightly before slipping his tongue into your entrance. It was the moment you arched your back, sliding one of your hands into his white hair, tugging it to bring his face and mouth closer to your heated core.
He skillfully fucked you with his tongue, his gloved fingers simultaneously massaging your clitoris, causing your wetness to spill all over his eager tongue. "Mhmmm," he grunted, still palming himself through his pants.
Lost in the throes of passion, neither of you heard the door opening. Little did you know that the rest of the League had returned to the hideout.
Dabi stood in the doorway leading to Shigaraki's office, his turquoise eyes wide open as he witnessed the scene unfolding before him — his boss, someone he had once considered a friend at some point, and his girl, getting laid.
Meanwhile, Shigaraki resumed lapping at your entrance, growling like an animal at your scent and taste. In contrast, you were already a moaning mess.
"I fucking love your little cunt," Shigaraki declared, kissing your swollen clitoris before returning to licking your dripping hole.
Dabi felt anger and jealousy building up within him, but he also sensed some primal desire. Casually closing the door, he walked over to the two of you, nonchalantly dipping down next to you on the couch. "Well, well, I see you two are having some fun, huh?" he growled.
It was then that you snapped your eyes open, instantly attempting to push Shigaraki off your pussy.
However, your boss simply looked at Dabi lazily, and after kissing your cunt, he straightened up, wiping his lips from your juices glistening there with the top of his palm. "Todoroki, you're back already."
Dabi scoffed. "What do you fucking think you're doing, Tomura?" Dabi growled, igniting a little blue flame on his left palm while his right one rested possessively on your knee.
"And what does it look like? I'm eating her cunny out," Shigaraki replied, a wry grin on his lips.
"She's fucking mine, and you're fucking aware of that," Dabi reminded.
Shigaraki chuckled darkly, waving his hand. "Oh, don't be such a dog in the manger. I didn't fuck her, yeah? Just licked her tiny cunt. That's not a fucking crime, is it?"
Dabi breathed angrily through his nose. "I can see you got fucking turned on just by her taste," he scoffed, glancing at the tent in Tomura's pants.
Shigaraki unselfconsciously palmed his dick, tilting his head to the side. "Can you blame me? Look at her, such a little naughty villainess we have here. And her taste is intoxicating."
Dabi scoffed again. "Imagine that I know, as I've fucked her many times already."
Tomura ran his bare fingers up and down your cunt. "Don't be angry at her, it's my fault. We got a little too wasted, and I kind of couldn't stop myself when I smelled her wetness," Shigaraki explained, pointing his chin at the coffee table and the empty bottle of alcohol and glasses.
Dabi shook his head in disapproval and reached his hand out, catching your chin between his index finger and thumb, tilting it so you faced him. "You're such a naughty whore, getting wet for him? Pathetic."
Your cheeks were still flushed. "S-sorry, Touya…" you whined pathetically.
Dabi looked into your half-opened eyes. He couldn't deny the twitch in his pants as he saw you so vulnerable and exposed. The idea of letting some other guy fuck you while he watched had always lingered in the dark corners of his twisted mind. Now, the opportunity presented itself. "You liked him licking your cunt, hmm?"
You bit at your knuckle, slowly nodding your head for yes.
Dabi sighed. "Fine. Make my girl cum," the scarred man ordered, looking at Shigaraki. "But don't you fucking dare to put your fucking, pathetic cock into her. That's exclusively mine privilege."
Shigaraki cocked his eyebrows, "Who do you think you are to boss me around, Dabi?"
Touya grinned nastily. "Seriously? Your cock already makes a damp spot in your pants, man. I know you want her. So give her what she wants. Make her fucking cum. Let her decide which one of us eats her pussy better. I'm sure she's gonna choose me."
"T-Touya, I.." you started, but your boyfriend placed his fingers on your lips, sealing them.
"Shut up and spread your legs wider like the good whore you are," he instructed.
You nodded hesitantly, following his words.
Shigaraki grunted, seeing your pussy spreading open just for him. He instantly dived between your legs, lapping at your folds again, making slurping noises and eating your cunt so intensely that the base of his nose nudged your swollen clitoris, making you whine.
Dabi watched the scene with a stoic expression attached to his scarred face. He reached one of his hands around your shoulders, bringing you closer to him so you rested your side against his chest. His other hand grabbed the hem of your skirt, hoisting it up your hips to provide himself with a better view of your drenched cunt and Shigaraki diving between your legs.
"You're such a needy whore," Dabi whispered into your ear, moving the arm he had wrapped around your shoulders to unbutton your shirt and fish out one of your breasts from the cup of your bra, fondling it gently. "So fucking wet. Look at the mess you made on this bastard's face."
You were whining, resting one elbow on Dabi's lap, moaning even louder as you felt his hardened cock making a bulge in his jeans.
Shigaraki slipped his gloved fingers into your cunt, massaging your inner walls.
Dabi grasped your chin and tilted your head, sloppily kissing your lips. Your tongues danced together.
Shigaraki spat down on your pussy, spreading his saliva all over your folds with his thumb. After that, he returned to sucking your clitoris while finger-fucking you.
You moaned in Dabi's mouth, breaking the kiss to bite your knuckle again as your thighs trembled after Tomura hit that super-sensitive, spongy spot deep within you. "Fuck…" you whispered, your eyes watering. "Holy shit."
Dabi chuckled darkly. "That's it, doll, let it go. Cum. I know you want to cum."
"Yes, d-daddy," you moaned and reached both hands to slip them in Tomura's messy hair, bringing his face closer to your dripping cunt to ride your orgasm all over his tongue and lips.
"Don't you fucking dare to stop licking her cunt. Stick your ugly tonuge out," Dabi instructed, and to his surprise, Shigaraki obeyed.
You grinded your pussy against you boss' flexed tongue, moaning louder and louder until your pussy clenched around his fingers, leaving you trembling all over your body, moaning and panting.
Of course, Dabi decided it was not enough, so he reached his hand down your body to gently rub your clitoris, only to spank it with his heated up fingers a few times.
You bucked your hips more until you squirted all over Shigaraki's face, moaning both their names as if it was the last prayer of your life; your runny juices covered your boss' chin, nose and lips, dripping down his cheek to his chest.
Shigaraki also panted and groaned, the damp stain on his crotch expanding, signaling he just came, too.
Dabi kissed your cheek, glancing down at Shigaraki. "Look at you, boss, getting so turned on by a mere woman. That's surprising," he rose from the couch, adjusting his hardened dick in his pants. "Now excuse me, I'm taking my girlfriend to my room so I can fuck her the way she likes the most," Todoroki easily scooped you up in his arms. "Oh, and thanks for preparing her for me. I appreciate that a lot."
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loosescrewslefty · 11 months ago
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Screaming, crying and OBSESSING over the way Anya and Demetrius are on opposite sides of the Neurodivergent scale and also far more similar to one another than either one realizes. More than any other character we've seen so far, it feels like these two are Yin and Yang, opposite sides of the same coin.
Demetrius easily absorbs facts, figures, and other information that follows a set pattern. But people confuse and frustrate him, and he deals with that by not dealing with it. Anya has the ability to understand more about strangers she passes on the street than people who see them regularly ever could, but traditional academics can overwhelm her so she is resistant to studying. And yet both of them are othered and seen as abnormal by everyone around them, building a wall between them and their peers that they both find difficult to overcome.
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Anya tries to fit in through masking, pretending as hard as she can to be normal (with limited success) but Demetrius has given up after going so long without anyone helping him better understand others which leads to him disassociating in social situations as a self defense mechanism, to get in and out as quickly and painlessly as possible while telling himself it doesn't matter.
Except it does.
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Demetrius didn't need to ask about Damian's stella. But he did. Because he wants to find some sort of common ground with his brother even as he reassures himself that it doesn't matter and he doesn't care. He doesn't pick up on the fact that this makes Damian feel self conscious, that he's comparing his one stella to Demetrius' six and worried their father will love him less for not being as successful. Demetrius doesn't understand how the subject switched to Donovan at all, and shuts down hard when their father is mentioned. Just like he did when Damian called and asked him to be a bridge between them way back when.
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(Demetrius warning Damian not to get his hopes up about Donovan coming to meet him also conflicts with his internal dialog about how the people around him don't matter and he doesn't need to care about understanding them. If it actually doesn't matter to him, then he wouldn't care if Donovan blew Damian off.)
Circling back to the original thought though, I desperately hope that we're going to get Demetrius and Anya interacting directly with one another at some point in the future because I have a feeling that Anya's blunt, child-like nature will lead to her just directly telling Demetrius the things that are eluding him when he interacts with others, demystifying all the unspoken social cues he's supposed to yet cannot intuit for the first time in his life. And he is going to be in awe of this child for her ability to not only understand others, but translate for him when he cannot grasp whatever it is they are trying and failing to say to him.
Demetrius could appreciate Anya's abilities, rather than being afraid of or disturbed by them. And they could both understand the feeling of not fitting in with the crowd. Of knowing that others regard them with fear and contempt, or want to use the things that make them different for their own purposes and treat them like they are just a tool instead of a person. The potential is there for a very interesting platonic relationship between two kids who have spent their whole lives feeling like their differences alienated them from everyone else in their life, and in Anya's case a fear that the discovery of that difference would lead to her losing the love of everyone important to her in her life.
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makingqueerhistory · 9 months ago
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Listen, you were given one wild and precious life, please do not waste it by dividing yourself and others from community.
I have this friend, who was in the process of figuring out some things around their identity, and again and again, they separated themselves from the queer community for some reason or another, giving distance as a form of imposters syndrome, and it broke my heart because they were a part of my queer family. Not in the static way of knowing a person's exact set of labels and being able to quantify where they may have landed on the Kinsey scale, but in the way that mattered.
They were my queer family because I knew I could rely on them to listen and reshape their view of the world again and again to make room for me. They were my queer family because they loved me and my wife fiercely and with an ardent devotion that is usually saved for biological relations. They were my queer family because I knew I could rely on them to fight for my queerness and be outraged when I was just exhausted.
Just as I believe that you can be a queer person and never choose to connect with the queer community, I also believe that you can be deeply embedded in the queer community without ever having to identify as queer.
Anyways, so much love in my heart for queer family today. From the past, the people who have known and kept secret, who have known and loved, who have known and learned. From the present, the people who are working to understand, the people who care so much, the people who are angry when we are scared. And, of course, in the future, thank you for joining us, thank you for being family, thank you for holding the world to a higher standard.
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st4rtar0t · 8 months ago
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Helping your recognise your superpower
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I'm currently doing donation based readings to pay for my tuition fees. DM to purchase a reading!
Thank you so much for your time and energy and I hope you have a great day ahead!
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Your lust for knowledge is your superpower. And I know you may think that is a lame power to have but I do want to your realise that knowledge is everything. The more knowledgeable you are, the more mature you become. Maturity comes from a sense of understanding and experience. The way you're always ready to learn new things makes you unique. Some of could be an higher achiver, or your sense of self comes from your academic performance. I think it's good to be knowledge but don't bring yourself down when you don't perform well. Give yourself time to learn and revise.
Your another superpower is your ability to look at situations from different perspectives. You know sometimes our pain clouds our vision making it difficult to acknowledge the hurt of others. But not for you, no matter how bad your situation is, you wouldn't let your emotions cloud your judgement Which is an remarkable ability.
Your faith, whether in yourself, in others or in something greater than us all, gives you strength and resilience in times of difficulty. Your belief in humanity, your trust in kindness and your faith in the possibility of a better future awaiting us uplifts not only you but also the people around you.
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Your planning is your superpower. It's like having a secret weapon in life. When you plan, you're like a master strategist, able to foresee obstacles and navigate around them. You can set goals and figure out the steps to reach them. Planning helps you stay organized, focused, and prepared for whatever comes your way. It's not just about making lists; it's about taking control of your future and making things happen. So, embrace your planning abilities, because they can truly make you unstoppable. Some of you could be INTJ/ENTJ.
Your another superpower is your protectiveness. It's your ability to shield and guard the ones you care about, keeping them safe from harm. Just like a superhero, you have an instinct to watch over others, anticipating dangers and swooping in to shield them from harm. Your protective nature is a strength that shines brightly, offering comfort and security to those around you. Embrace this superpower, for it is a reflection of your love and dedication to keeping your loved ones out of harm's way. you may think that this makes you more feminine but caring for the people that you makes you stronger. Your constant transformation is your superpower because it means you're always evolving, learning, and adapting. Instead of being stuck in one way of thinking or doing things, you embrace change and use it to your advantage. You're like a chameleon, able to adjust to any situation or challenge that comes your way. This flexibility allows you to grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient with each transformation. So, don't fear change, embrace it, because it's what makes you unstoppable.
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Your love for others is your superpower because it has the ability to transform lives in ways beyond imagination. When you extend kindness, understanding, and support to those around you, you create an atmosphere of warmth and positivity. Your love has the power to heal wounds, mend broken hearts, and inspire greatness in others. It's a force that spreads joy, brings people together, and fosters deep connections. Through your love, you become a beacon of hope and strength, capable of uplifting the spirits of those who may be struggling.
Your powerful presence is like a superpower. It's all about how you carry yourself and how you make others feel when you're around. You don't need special abilities because you are your own strength. People notice you without you having to do anything flashy. Your confidence and the way you connect with others make you stand out. Your presence is like a magnet, attracting attention and admiration wherever you go. It's what makes you truly remarkable.
Your voice and the words you choose have immense power. When you speak, it's like magic weaving through the air, touching hearts and minds. The tone, pitch, and rhythm of your voice can convey emotions and messages in ways that no other form of communication can. And the words you select? They're like arrows hitting their target, shaping thoughts, inspiring actions, and building connections. Whether you're calming a storm with soothing words or igniting a fire with passionate speech.
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wrizard · 2 months ago
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wrizard's super basic guide to y-chromosome-based identification!!
for those interested, on this fitzcovery day:
a dear friend asked me to explain why i felt completely insane about the phrase "genetic distance of one" and, as usual, i got overexcited and wrote an entire thing about it complete with goofy images! it's on twt HERE, but i figured it would also be nice to pop it up here also. SO. with the caveat that it has been many years since my last bio class and this is VERY OVERSIMPLIFIED. here's
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Human DNA is grouped into chromosomes. We generally have TWO of each chromosome: 22 pairs (numbered 1-22), plus one pair of sex chromosome (typically either two X-chromosomes (XX), or one X-chromosome and one Y-chromosome (XY)). That's 23 pairs, or 46 chromosomes, in total.
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When producing sex cells, matching chromosome pairs will RECOMBINE (swap bits of information) - eg. one Chromosome 4 will remix itself with the other Chromosome 4, making TWO UNIQUE C4s. When the cell splits into two sex cells, each sex cell will carry ONE unique C4.
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That's sexual reproduction! Every new offspring is genetically unique - new combinations of traits pop up quickly, and if they improve reproductive fitness, can be passed on to future offspring. This allows for rapid adaptation and changes in a species over time.
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But what about Y-chromosomes, which don’t have pairs? They can't recombine in the way paired chromosomes can - which means Y-chromosomes pretty much only change via mutation (errors in copying DNA). Mutation is VERY slow, especially compared to recombination.
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This means that when an XY parent passes down their Y-chromosome to a child, chances are high that chromosome will have few, if any, changes – as opposed to X-chromosomes, which recombine in both XX parents and children, shuffling genetic information all over the place.
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Due to this slow rate of change, Y-chromosomes can be more easily tracked through the generations than other human chromosomes. A Y-chromosome might be passed down nearly unchanged for hundreds of years from genetic father to genetic son.
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GENETIC DISTANCE refers to the measurement of difference between two sets of DNA. The lower the genetic distance, the more closely related the two samples are likely to be. A genetic distance of 1 means the samples are close to identical.
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Because we know how slowly Y-chromosomes change over time, we know that if the Y-chromosomes of two people have a low genetic distance, this implies that those people are paternally related – even if the two people live/lived hundreds of years apart.
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In the case of Captain James Fitzjames, genetic data was extracted from a set of unidentified remains (a molar from a disarticulated mandible). 17 genetic markers from the molar’s Y-chromosome were compared to the Y-chromosome of a confirmed paternal relative of the Captain.
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Those 17 markers were the same in both samples, giving the two Y-chromosomes a genetic distance of one – meaning, with the genetic information available, the living relative and the unidentified decedent are more than 2000 TIMES more likely to be paternally related than not.
EDIT: DOIP I MISREAD THE CHART 16 of 17 match, not all 17!!
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Along with all the information we have from the historical record, the context of the remains, and this new comparative genetic analysis, we can safely conclude that this particular set of remains belong to Captain Fitzjames.
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160 years isn't long in the grand scheme. Every identified set of remains is another reminder that these were people, not just a distant curiosity. It's humbling to remember not just that we have identified Cpt. Fitzjames, but that still, today, we have a genetic distance of one.
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Photos and Y-chromosome comparison chart taken from Stephen, Fratpietro, and Park's paper "Identification of a senior officer from Sir John Franklin’s Northwest Passage expedition" from the Journal of Archaeological Science: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352409X24003766?via%3Dihub
hope my nonsense is helpful and/or informative and/or at least made you smile!! if you like this sort of thing :) cheers doves
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alwayscorvus · 1 month ago
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Hi!! Can I request Jiyan from Wuwa with a scary reader? I mean, the other Midnight Rangers might be scared of the reader because of her/his constant smile in ABSOLUTELY any situation
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Jiyan x scary reader
scary!malereader x Jiyan, fluff;
Bruh I got 4 request for Jiyan on the same day (02.10) and I am absolutely excited and terrified at the same time. Imma write everything at some point, but uni has started so it can take a while. Thanks a lot anon! Hope it's acceptable
M/N was definitely a special figure in the ranks of Midnight Rangers. Although he didn't hold the highest position and wasn't making the most important decisions, his name was known to everyone. And it brought a real fear among the Midnight Rangers.
But what's quite surprising, all this terror wasn't caused by his strength, outstanding achievements on battlefield, demanding nature or nasty character. No, M/N was a total opposite of cocky, narcissistic or mean. He was just-... kind. Too kind.
And as ridiculous as it may sound, everyone who screwed something up, always begged deep inside that their punishment wouldn't be handled by M/N. Even general himself, who mustered up a demanding manner in face of crisis, seemed like much safer option than you and your legendary approach.
Rumor had it that one day, many years ago, when a military traitor was brought back to the camp, cries of suffering had no end. Witnesses mentioned a small, shabby building, set far from a center of base. That's where the man, who betrayed entire army by leading them into a trap and taking their lives, got placed. Bitter soldiers - victims who lost they family, friends, disciples - visited this place numerous times. And although, eventually, traitor survived and lived to see a fair sentence, it all didn't go without bruises.
In order to keep military self-judgment from being too harsh someone had to guard a traitor. Several of youngest recruits were assigned to do this task. One of them was M/N. Many were worried about how this gruesome sights might affect such a young man, with an optimistic approach to life. Who always burst with positive energy and found advantages in every situation, even the worst.
However, all fears died when they saw a face of M/N, crossing the doorstep of a building. Smile adorned his face.
Anxiety was born.
For the record, there was also a moment when more than one person fought for general's heart and favor. And not every candidate was fair in their actions. Even though it was already known behind the scenes that Jiyan and M/N had a thing for each other and that they were forming a relationship, someone was shameless enough to interfere in that.
Intruder's ploys were extremely nasty. Especially when looking at M/N's vulnerability, due to the fact that both partners were still young and not ranked high enough to be able to reveal themselves in front of military authorities.
However, it was hard to tell what was more shocking. Intruder's actions or M/N's reaction.
Because to everything, M/N responded in one only way:
Intruder “accidentally” poured hot soup on M/N?
Smile.
Intruder questioned M/N's abilities and brought up his fails?
Smile.
Intruder claimed that he would be a better partner for Jiyan?
Smile.
Intruder allowed himself for too much in a bar and grabbed Jiyan at the end of his back?
Smile.
And leave intruder with a twisted arm. But, that's a topic for another story.
Whatever happened one thing was certain. No matter how much it annoyed M/N, upset or made him angry, M/N still managed to react with a smile. And that's precisely what was most horrifying about him.
That big, wide smile combined with blank eyes. Sight that gave chills.
Belive me when I tell you that in the whole Midnight Rangers there was no one more scary than M/N. If new generations of soldiers had children in the future, they would definitely scare them with frightening stories about M/N.
Despite the fact that M/N was only one of many coaches in army, it was hard to find a person more respected. Even if this respest was brought by fear… After all, in order to submit, the most rebellious soldiers needed something more than admiration towards the great Jiyan.
Like in the past, todays also, M/N's dark aura was working wonders.
It was truly naive to think that anyone could avoid training with M/N by lies.
Two skinny boys shook with fright as they saw at whom they had just bumped into. Panicked, they were shifting their gaze from one to another.
-Oh boys. Where are you running like that? - you asked with fake confusion - Didn't our training begin just a minute ago?
Your disciples swallowed their saliva with a big difficulty. What were you doing here?! Weren't you supposed to be with the rest?
-Ah right! -you started with excitement, almost as if you had just recalled something- Your teammates reported that you were bedridden sick.
Youngest began to stutter.
-But wait! This isn't a bed, is it?
Boys could barely stand the tension. Whole lives flew before their eyes. And all possible punishments they could receive for insubordination. Starting with bathroom cleaning, month's service as kitchen help, plenty of extra push-ups or worst of all... individual hand-to-hand combat training with M/N himself… not even to mention about reporting to top units.
But instead of hearing a stern reprimand or punishment, M/N blessed them with nothing else than a smile. Beaming, barely natural.
Recruits' knees softened under your murderous, almost insane stare. Controlled by anxiety, they quickly bent in half, heads almost reaching the ground. Hysterical apologies and pleas for mercy reached your ears.
You frowned at this and tilted your head slightly to the side, truly amazed.
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-Jiiiyaaan - miserable, you cried out your partner's name and he turned towards you with curiosity.
Without much delaying, you snuggled into your sitting partner's back.
-I think that they don't like me...
You announced with a pouty face and hid your head in the crook of his neck. Jiyan stroked your hair with affection.
-Who do you mean?
-Everyone
You broke down more and squeezed your boyfriend tighter. Frustration in your voice contrasted significantly with Jiyan's deep calmness.
Jiyan bit his lip slightly. He quickly recalled his conversation with Ningwei from the past.
They were sitting in a military bar at the time. Though late hour made all the other soldiers return to their bunks, it was also an ideal opportunity to reveal a few secrets in a honest talk.
Jiyan wasn't first to start topic like that. He didn't feel a need to inform everyone about his relationship status. It was your private business. And if anyone really wanted to know about it, they could figure it out by themselves. In the end, after many years of knowing each other and being in relationship, you two became more and more bold in displaying your feelings for each other. Or rather more reckless… Without even knowing, you started to share scraps of your routine with world outside of your abode. Some began to notice that two of you had something more in common than just a simple friendship. But no one had the courage to say it out loud.
Except for Ningwei. His personality and history with Jiyan allowed him to do more. Besides, he was worried about his captain. And he wasn't the only one. Everyone in crew was concerned, even just by your close "friendship". They were anxious about leaving their beloved general alone with you. Jiyan was such a good person. Always caring for others and putting they well-being above his own. He made sure that soldiers lived in good conditions,. Tried to send them on leave as often as possible. And never failed to extend a helping hand to any victim who lost their home in the fires of battle.
They feared that in his generosity, Jiyan might be naive, forcibly seeking kindness hidden in others. In their blind imagination, they felt as if they were leaving a helpless lamb to be devoured by a big, scary wolf.
-You nad M/N... are you- are you sure about?
Jiyan tilted his head slightly to the side and sent him a questioning look.
-Are you sure that you two are a good match? You know, M/N is-… he is- he's-…. -though it never happened to Ningwei, this time he couldn't get words out of his mouth. He was too afraid of Jiyan's reaction. He didn't know how Jiyan could respond to bad words about a person most important to him. Or rather, Ningwei knew. Tragically. Not in Jiyan's peaceful way.
Ningwei slowly sank down into his chair under Jiyan's gaze. Suddenly, a predatory side of general, usually revealed only in heat of a battle, became more and more real.
-...scary?
He finally finished, without much confidence, and Jiyan only furrowed his eyebrows more. He didn't quite understand what Ningwei meant. Were they really talking about the same loving M/N? This man was smiling even when others did him wrong. When they accidentally tore his jacket or forget about a gift for him.
Jiyan also recalled that one situation in the bar.
When that one soldier…, Jiyan couldn't really remember his name, got a little too close to him.
At first Jiyan didn't think too much of it. But when he felt a touch on his back, in a place meant only for you, he immediately tensed up.
You responded almost instantly. Before Jiyan had a chance to do anything, you were already by his side, grabbing stranger's wrist in an iron grip. You gritted your teeth and sent intruder a deadly glare. Man hurriedly straightened up and took a few steps back. But it was too late. A frantic smile crossed your face.
And although a whole bar had to separate you (including a panicked Jiyan), at the time, general was feeling oddly proud of his caring partner.
-I am sure that they like you very much... Maybe they are just only a little-… - he wanted to add a word “afraid” but eventually he bit his tongue and didn't finish.
He didn't want to make you upset. He himself didn't know if you did it on purpose or unintentionally. Whether it was just your act. Way to gain respect. Desire to make fun of squad. Or perhaps simple innocence in attempt to show kindness by most obvious gesture - smile.
After all, in private of his company you were a completely different person. You treated him like a real treasure. Spoiling him and being the sweetest boyfriend possible.
Jiyan truly couldn't understand what they all were talking about.
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indierpgnewsletter · 9 months ago
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Playing Rabbits in an RPG from 1976
(This continues our 2024 series, 10 Games From The First 10 Years. First published in the Indie RPG Newsletter)
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It is genuinely surprising to me that in 1976, within two years of D&D coming out, someone published a game about being rabbits. It makes a little more sense when you realize that it was inspired by Watership Down and the designers were, I believe, zoologists or something similar. But having read it, the premise is the least interesting part of this game. It has so many fascinating little ideas.
Bunnies & Burrows is a game about rabbits … but these aren’t just rabbits, they fight, explore, gamble, study herbs, see the future, parley with beetles, find love, have children – and the list goes on. The end result are characters that ironically feel more human than you’d imagine.
As I play more games, I learn about games, sure, but I’m also learning a lot about myself. And a rule of thumb has slowly emerged: I want to play games that lead to interesting, surprising, unique things being said by the players. I’ve sometimes phrased it as “people want to say cool shit at the table”. I’m people.
Bunnies & Burrows starts with D&D as a jumping off point – there’s that old, familiar rolling 3d6 down the line to get your stats. But that’s more or less where the similarities end. You have rules for fighting but it’s not D&D combat – this game is often described as having “the first martial arts system” but what this means is that fighting is mostly weapon-less and involves declaring actions that flow into each other as patterns or c-c-combos. Basically, some actions set up other actions – you can’t Rip into another rabbit unless you already pulled off a Bite & Hold in the last turn. Some actions like Run aren’t possible if you’ve just done a Pin or a Rip in the previous turn and so on. I didn’t actually get to play out a fight but these rules got me grinning.
And the whole thing is like that. The study and application of herbs is meant to be a little puzzle where through trial-and-error and dice rolls, you slowly figure out what’s good for you and what isn’t. The languages and persuasion rules mean that certain characters can become envoys to other species. Because a language can mean the difference between things turning violent and a peaceful negotiation between rabbits and a mother scorpion that has accidentally wandered into their warren.
Don’t get me wrong. Most of these little pieces are eccentric and inelegant – always more convoluted than you’d like but still a major leap forward in playability because in the end, it’s a d100 roll under a target number. All the fiddliness – and there’s a lot of it – lies in the absolutely esoteric ways this game invents for calculating that target number. But I find it easy to forgive this in an old game, especially when the most interesting part of the game doesn’t lie in the mechanics but the negative space the rules seem to create.
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The donut hole in the centre of this game – fruitful void? uncrowded centre? – is the question: What is rabbit society like? This is a setting question – or rather, a system of relation question – that is never asked but it must be answered. The mechanics have some opinions. For example, every player picks a profession when they make a character – Empath, Seer, Storyteller, Scout, and so on. Some of this comes from Watership Down, which can, of course, be your ready-made answer – it’s the unstated but obvious setting sourcebook for this game. But if you don’t go down that route, you’ve got a juicy problem: What do we value? What do we despise?
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ren-054 · 7 months ago
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Tiny AIW Excerpt…
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(This doesn’t guarantee a bigger story in the future, have mercy on me pls /lh)
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
(prologue thing?)
They took away everything I had left to hold onto. Everything but them, at least. It almost felt freeing, a relief, in a strange way.
The scent of flowers was thick and sweet to my senses. My thoughts slowly blur together as I drowned in the heavy aroma.
No longer did I have to uphold myself as a person. In this land, responsibility was merely a word. A silly word, at that. I was being offered the chance to be freed from the pressure of my former life on a silver platter by the people who have unfailingly proved their devotion to me again and again. Who would I be to deny them?
Gentle hands of cool metal joints and warm motors take my own of flesh. There is an unspoken promise in our grasps.
Out there, there wasn’t anything waiting for me. Really, I had submitted to my fate long before I came here. Before I met them.
I would miss the surface.. My friends.. My brother..
If I just stayed right where I was, surely I’d be happy. He said so. They both did. And I believe them, as much as they believe in me that I’ll stay. I have nowhere to run, therefore I’d never think to walk.
Here, I’ll be safe. Here, I’ll be happy.
• • • • •
(Main excerpt)
“Sugarcube!~ It’s time for tea!”
I shift as a voice rouses me awake and I groan in protest. I felt so warm… I didn’t want to get up… Get up…
Get up from where?
Eyes snapping open, I sit up, finding myself on a grass and wool-stuffed mattress. A warm blanket made of soft fibers had been wrapped around my body, shrugged off when I began to scan my surroundings.
The room was dimly lit and the air was crisp, making me imagine the walls were made of stone or perhaps bricks. Unfortunately my vision wasn’t the best without my glasses. Candles were lit about the room. There were no windows, but there was a lone door on the far wall. Was I underground?
“There’s my little sunshine!” The same voice from before warbled, followed by the clinking of porcelain. “Come! Come! Before your tea gets cold!”
With bleary vision, I turn toward the voice. At a small wooden table set in the middle of the room sat a familiarly flamboyant red-clad figure with their knees up to their chest as they tried to sit in one of the child-sized chairs. I began shuffling off the bed, brushing myself off.
“M-Mister Hatter?” I mumbled as I walked over. “Wher—“
The Hatter tutted at me before I could finish, placing a delicate finger up to my lips. “Dearest little dewdrop, I told you, you can just call me Sun!”
“Uh, Sun?” I eyed the liquid the bot was pouring into the cups. Yellow flower petals and flecks of green herbs floated prettily along the surface of the unknown brew.
“Hmmm?” Hatter hummed, the swirls in his eyes seeming to glow with warmth at the sound of his name.
“Where am I? I didn’t fall down another hole again, did I?” I rubbed at my eyes. “And have you seen my glasses anywhere?”
“Oh! Those are right here!” Dodging my first question, the Hatter pointed at the other side of the table which sat the other teacup along with the distinct sheen of my lenses against the candlelight. “Come on! Have a sit with this lonely hatter!”
“Ah, right.” I nodded before taking my seat across from the bot, putting my glasses back on once I sat. Ah, vision at last.
The first thing I realized was the room was dingy, dustier than I expected. Before I could really notice any other finer details, Sun piped up once again.
“Very good, my dear,” he praised with a light laugh that made me nearly blush. “Now then, where you are. That’s a simple one!”
I leaned in with anticipation. With a relaxed—almost smug—gaze, the Hatter answered.
“I brought you home.”
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sepublic · 3 months ago
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I like how Luz and King, whose arcs involve their relationship with fantasy because they're kids (in contrast to Eda, who is much older and has different baggage), have different relationships with those fantasies; Esp due to what those fantasies were.
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King drops his wholesale; His fantasy was about being a tyrant who destroyed his enemies, which is inherently destructive in practice. And with him realizing how much power he DOES wield now, and must be responsible over -both in his friendship with the Collector and status as a Titan- it makes sense he just abandons that completely, especially in foil to a certain witch hunter. And he abandons that fantasy because it wasn't actually what King wanted, and he's figured that out now. His fantasy admittedly started off as a delusion fed by Eda, too.
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Luz still keeps hers; She's just learned to maintain a healthy balance, deciding when and when not to embrace and pursue it. This can be attributed to Azura being far less about destroying enemies; Aside from the Gildersnake, it seems most of her stories are on the friendlier, mundane side, with things like sports and growing plants. But we do see how even the former can get distorted and hurt others, hence Wing it like Witches. Likewise, Luz holding onto her fantasy is her way of keeping her father Manny alive, and embracing her weirdness, who she is as a person, etc.
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There's a dichotomy with these siblings' fantasies, and even the origin of them; King's came about as Eda humoring him, but not knowing when to make a distinction for her kid. Meanwhile Manny gave Luz's fantasy to her, and it was about keeping her spirit alive, and not just the fun... But the fun matters too of course. So Luz's relationship with her fantasy is her relationship with Manny, because of its inspiration in Dana receiving Pokemon Red from her father before his death. So she can't just drop it, Luz needs to learn to live with it healthily like Eda learns to live with the curse, etc.
And it's a way for Luz to continue her living relationship with her other parent Camila, who understands now, and wants to cultivate fantasy in her daughter and even herself again to bond over; Something Luz initially refuses out of self-loathing, and a misguided attempt to reconnect with Camila when she thought the opposite -pursuing fantasy- was what pulled them apart. But it was because of the death of their wonder and the enforcement of that by the system, and mother and daughter finally rekindle their light in For the Future together.
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You can also see Titanlights' relationship with fantasy through the Titan, another parental figure whom is mutual for these sibs. The Titan is the setting and thus embodies a lot of the show's themes; The Titan is Just Some Dude after all of the insincere, destructive hype of being a God. And this is how King wants to follow. Likewise, the Titan explains to Luz that she needs to forgive herself for her dream's unintended side effects, and by passing his power onto her briefly, allows Luz to live out her dream as much as she can, and remember that afterwards. Luz internalizes both the Titan's mundanity and encouragement for her healthy relationship with fiction, and King gets his new dream by seeing his dad's spirit in action, as well as a personal message; I loaf you.
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pinkthrone445 · 5 months ago
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-Baila conmigo-
(Dance with me)
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Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader
Gender:Fun, soft, first time knowing someone
Warnings:I don't think so
Summary:Mel finds you sad in a bar and decides to step in, not knowing that life will bring you back together again.
(This is the song that they dance together)
One more month without a job call, you had tried in all the schools and positions and no one accepted your degree because you were from another country which they did not consider very superior although you had an excellent and valid degree.
Your mother's voice resounded in your head like a drum, she insisted over and over again that if you left the country your degree would be useless and you would end up working in something you didn't like or that you would end up returning to your country devastated and sad. As you emptied your glass in one gulp, you took her words into consideration and thought about whether it would be the right thing to go back home. The money you had set aside to go live there was about to run out and it was time to make a decision about your future, a pretty quick decision.
It was already late and you were too drunk to decide at the moment, you sighed and leaned your head against the table, how sticky it was made you sigh again. The noise of a glass being placed near you made you raise your head again, a redhead on the other side of the bar was smiling empathetically at you, with a bit of worry in her eyes
-"It's on me"-she said pointing at the drink beside you, it was the same that you were drinking before-"It looks like you need it"-You frowned
-"And you don't look like my bartender..."-you answered and she laughed, a gorgeous soft laugh that you could hear over the music
-"That's because I'm not... I'm on this side of the bar because I'm the bartender's sister... He is an asshole, but putin up with him has privileges, like free drinks"-she said with a gorgeous smile that distracted you for a few seconds
-"I appreciated, but I already had too many... And I still don't feel better... I think it's time to go home" - You answer and she looked at you curious
-"What are you trying to escape from with the drinks?"-she pointed all the empty cups by your side
-"Home... Reality... Being a unsuccessful grown-up?" - You answer looking at the drink with love and want
-"I feel you" - she answered and walked to the other side of the stool to sit beside you with a beer in her hand-"I'm far away from where I picture myself years ago...but that doesn't mean I'm unsuccessful or that you are, you have many years ahead of you yet, plenty of time to figure it out" - she said with a smile and you took the drink
-"I feel like a failure right now, I came here to get a nice job and be happy and now I'm drowning my sorrows in a glass while I reconsider going back to live with my mom"-You muttered embarrassed under your breath
-"I had to get a roommate to help me pay the rent because the money I do is not enough, who is more pathetic? Keep in mind that I'm much older than you" - she laughed drinking from her bottle
-"Hey, this is not a competition, let me be the sad one tonight" - You jocked and you both laughed-"Thanks for the drink... And for the company, you are helping more than the 4 glasses that I already had... Also, for being way older than me, you are very hot"-You said and she looked at you surprised
-"Are you flirting with me right now? You don't even know my name" - she said nervously
-"First I was admiring you... Second, we already stablish that I'm very pathetic, so I had nothing to lose if I said that... And third, I'm (Y/N), nice to meet you" - You said having another sip and she laughed
-"I'm Melissa, nice to meet you too... You are funny" - The redhead looked at your mouth smiling
-"Maybe is the alcohol talking, a few moments ago I was very miserable, but I'm glad to know that I can pursue a clown career if my teaching one still doesn't work" - You slurred your words a little bit
-"I bet they would pay you better that what we teachers make nowadays" - she said finishing her beer
-"Maybe you could be a clown too, you already have the red hair, no need for a wig" - You said without thinking, maybe that would have offended someone else, but instead made her laugh
-"I like you kiddo, you would be definitely a good kid's teacher...witch is your specialty?" - she asked curious
-"I'm a Spanish teacher..."-you looked at her, her eyes were green with little brown dots and the fluorescent lights of the club made them shine in a particular way that made you feel attracted like a moth to the light.
-"Ohh that's cool" - she smiled and you looked the other way
-"It would be cool to find a job with it"-You insisted and she slapped your arm-"Hey!"
-"Stop mopping about it, more chances will come" - She commented to you and you grabbed her hand with a frown
-"Just because you're pretty doesn't give you the right to hit me miss"-You said leaning closer to her squinting your eyes at her, she pulled the arm that you were holding to bring you closer
-"But being pretty has worked for me many times to get out of many things, are you sure that I can't hit you? I bet you would love it in a different situation in a different part of your body" - she flirted back and you smiled looking at the way her lips moved when she talked and how her tongue licked her lips to make them look more shiny and full, you were about to lean more but she pressed her hand on your shoulder stopping you from going any further - "Do you know how to dance?" - she asked and you nodded a little bit dizzy-"Take me to dance then, a Spanish song is playing and I want to know what it says and also how to dance it properly"-she demanded and you laughed standing up and reaching for her hand
-"Whatever the lady wishes" - The redhead got up from her chair smiling as you directed her to the dance floor. You knew the song that was playing very well, you had heard it too many times in your house growing up, it was one of those songs that your mother played at home that you hated but when you grew up you started to sing and love.
The song started slowly and you brought her closer to you by running your hands over her soft arms until you reached her hands and took them firmly, bringing her body closer to you and placing one of your hands on her waist, leaning her hips a little to yours. You gently moved your hips from side to side making her follow you to the rhythm of the beginning of the song while your other hand went up a little and landed on the side of her body almost on her ribs holding her firmly to be able to guide her more easily.
It was funny that the song talked about how no one knew were the night would end, nobody knew what would happen tomorrow, if you would be together or not or if the world would end or not, if you would be the perfect person for each other, end up loving or hating each other... That you should not think too much about the future, this moment was unique and you were alive and you should enjoy that. Nobody could known the end and life was like roulette that will turn no stop, you should let your heart decide what you are feeling tomorrow and just enjoy the present time.
The rhythm began to go faster and you moved away from her to give her a little turn and stick the front of your body to her back making her dance from one side to the other, the redhead followed you well and moved her feet quickly following yours, easily following the rhythm of the salsa you were dancing.
Every time the song slowed down, you stuck her closer to your body so you could gently shake your hips together while you singed the lyrics and when the song went faster, you moved her a little bit away so you could do some spins or some easy tricks. The two complemented each other well and people noticed it and began to make space for the two of you to dance, earning some applause and encouraging comments.
The redhead seemed to enjoy the dance and the attention as she had a smile from ear to ear and her hands squeezed yours every time she looked into your eyes, eyes that shone in a particular way with a lot of joy.
When the song ended you gave her a little spin and a little hug, her laughter reached your ears and that made you smile. You were both agitated from dancing so much but smiling too much. Without letting go of your hand, she pulled you off the dance floor and ordered some lemonades for both of you. The dance and her smile had made you feel sober and quickly awake, so you were grateful that she didn't order something with alcohol in it again.
-"That was so much fun!" - Melissa said over the music and you focused on her smile while you had your drink
-"You surprised me, I thought you didn't knew how to dance that kind of music" - You said laughing and she smiled
-"I've been in a few dancing clases, I never said that I didn't danced, I asked if you knew how to... What did the song say?" - She asked, gently pushing you in a playful way with the side of her hip
-"It talked about how nobody knows about the future and how you should enjoy the present and do what you heart wishes without think too much about it..."-you said and blushed a little bit but the darkness of the bar didn't let it show
-"And what is that your heart wishes right now?" - she asked grabbing your jacket and pulling you closer to her, your eyes immediately went to her lips-"Maybe a kiss?" - she played and you nodded, too dumb to speak-"That would be only fair after such an amazing dance" - she said before slowly getting closer to you and pressing her lips to yours, thing that you inmediatly reciprocated grabbing her waist and bringing her closer. Her lips were a little bit salty for the heat of the dance and a little bit sour for the lemonade, but at the same time it was sweet with a cherry taste from her lipstick, it was addictive. Your hands clenched more to her body at the same time the kiss grew more deep. She parted her lips a little bit and you swipe your tongue in her lips after getting in her mouth. Her tongue danced with yours even more expertly that the dance you had minutes ago. Her hand went to your neck and her nails scratched the skin softly and playfully, making you whimper, thing that made her smile on your lips.
You wanted to keep kissing her all night long, but time run out when her phone rang. With an annoyed moan, the redhead pulled away a little and looked at her messages, her happy face diminished a little and she gave you a sympathetic smile
-"My roommate it's waiting for me outside, tomorrow we have to work and I don't have my car here, I'm sorry..."-she said and you smiled caressing her waist
-"Don't worry, thank you for making me feel better, I had a lot of fun" - You said honestly and she put on her jacket
-"Thank you for the dance...Do you want to go out tomorrow?... if you are still here in the country..."-she asked messing with you and you nodded smiling-"I'll send you a message then" - she comment and gave you a last peck before going away.
You were too happy and she was too rushed to realize that you hadn't exchanged numbers or anything, thing you didn't realize until the uber dropped you at your home.
As you changed and removed your makeup, you couldn't help but smile from remembering the things and the fun time you spent together.
When you got inside your bed, you were about to fall asleep when your cell phone rang lighting up your room, when you picked it up and opened your email, you almost jumped out of bed when you read that you had a job offer, at an elementary school replacing a teacher, for the next day. You quickly got out of bed to look for an appropriate outfit and leave things ready for the next day, you knew that it would be difficult to sleep now with such much excitement.
Thoughts about the redhead and her kisses took a back seat when you started planning the next day's classes.
The next morning, even though you had slept little, the excitement made you feel fresh as a lettuce. When you got out of your car you put your bag over your shoulder and squeezed the straps in your hand, with the other, you took your necklace, giving a small kiss to the medal you had around your neck to ask for good luck before entering the building.
Before you could take a step inside, some firefighters arrived and took everyone out of the school, confused you waited outside with some of the students. While you waited, you started talking to some of the teachers to learn a little bit about the kids and the classes. Some of them explained you a few things and were happy to have a new teacher in the school, others were talking about what caused the alarms to go off and didn't payed attention to you. They only stoped talking when they were being interrupted when one of the fire captains walked through the school doors
-"Okay... So, apparently one of the students had been smoking in the bathrooms and activated the smoke alarm..."-he said but you immediately stoped paying attention to him when you saw a special redhead walking behind him, like the sight of an oasis in the desert, that familiar face gave you a little peace to see her there... And also a little/much anxiety
-"We found the little rascal with Melissa, she sniffed him out" - one of the other teachers said
-"One sniff and I'm back to when..."-Her gaze met yours and for a moment her mind was filled with memories from the night before and she forgot how words were used - "Back... To... Nevermind, the important thing is that we found him"-she said and looked the other way avoiding your eyes going with another older teacher.
After some time and talks, the school resumed it's course.
Ava stopped you at the entrance to give you your pass and explain a couple of things that you almost didn't hear because you were focused on the redhead who was bringing the children to her classroom
-"... And Melissa is the other second grade teacher, so if you need help, you can ask her, because I can't help you... I mean, I can but I don't want to"-The principal said and you nodded smiling to her shily before walking away to your classroom to meet the children, looking sideways at the redhead who stopped next to the school principal once you were gone
-"She is hot, isn't she?" - Ava said checking you out while you walked away and Melissa looked at her frowning
-"Isn't that inappropriate to say at school about one of your coworkers?" - The redhead asked and Ava laughed
-"No if she doesn't hear it... Besides, I saw how you looked at her... Maybe she can feel uncomfortable with that too"-The principal remarked and the redhead rolled her eyes and went to her classroom, thinking what would be the appropriate way to address you now that you would be working there.
_______________________________________________
I'm back bitches! Bye
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covetyou · 9 months ago
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no shortage of sordid
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ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist
pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader, Joel Miller x m!OC (unnamed) rating: Explicit (18+ only!) warnings: very dubious consent (not from reader), oral sex (m receiving from m), voyeurism/exhibitionism, degradation, brief mention of food and allusion to hunger, unnamed m!OC, m/m, Joel is not exactly gay he's just a domineering asshole, drug reference word count: 3.1k summary: Your deal with Joel has changed into something else, something different to when you first came to his door asking for help months ago. But, when you try to take him up on your new arrangement, you're met with something you never expected.
A/N: this was originally a much shorter deleted scene from the start of the dark caress of someone else. I took it out because it was too much and after writing that chapter I told myself I would avoid writing threesomes for as long as possible, because god damn it there's too many body parts. well, me, fuck you, this is threesome adjacent and not technically a threesome at all.
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Six days. That's how long it takes for you to cave and admit you want him. It takes you another two to do anything about it.
The first time you make the trip to Joel's apartment, no pills necessary, you're faced with silence and a door that won't open.
With an hour break between your jobs the next day, you make another attempt. But, you barely make it through the market when you see him trailing behind Tess, hulking figure parting the crowd with ease. You don't stop to see where they're going, instead choosing to turn on your heel and head back the way you came. The less you know, the better. Using the cards he handed back to you nine days ago, you stop by a street food vendor on your way to your next job, eating your first hot meal not only of that day, but that week, the warm food soothing more than just the emptiness in your stomach.
It takes you much longer to convince yourself to try on the third day. Your thoughts hadn't immediately gone to Joel Miller that morning. You had toyed with going for a walk, with seeing if you could pick up more work. But soon your hands ache, bones creaking in their joints as you clench them once again, trying to stave off the want in your belly with the pinch of nails digging into your palms.
Fuck it. You're going. Whether he's there or not, the need to get out of this apartment far outweighs the desire to stay warm inside it.
So, one gray trudge across a gray Boston to a gray apartment block later, you're at his door. Again.
Only this time there's not silence on the other side.
You can hear a murmur - undoubtedly Joel by the heavy rasp of a wry laugh that follows it - and a garbled whimper.
And, of course, you could leave. You could turn your back and leave Joel up to whatever it is, whoever it is, he's doing in there, but you don't. You knock, wanting him to know that even if he's occupied, you showed up. You came to him, not for pills, but for sex. For want, for desire, for the ease of the ache between your legs and the itch in your palms that just won't quit no matter how much you make yourself come.
Even with company, he doesn't make you wait long.
So it's not that you're not expecting the shuffle of two sets of feet. Or the thud on the door, heavy and dull like something big had caught itself before falling down. You knew he wasn't alone and, after all, the only thing you could really expect when visiting Joel was that nothing would be as expected.
No, that's not what surprises you at all.
What surprises you is when the door drifts open a fraction, a disembodied hand reaching through and pulling you through the gap, dragging you inside. What surprises you is tripping over his shoes, only they're not his shoes, the feet turned the wrong way up to belong to the all too familiar man standing before you.
What surprises you is seeing a man on his knees in front of Joel Miller.
It surprises you so much, you don't even notice as the door clicks shut and the hand that dragged you inside pulls you once again to stand at his side.
From here you can get a full view. There's a man on his knees in front of Joel. Joel's pants are unbuckled and pulled low on his hips. And then, the entire scene becomes very, very clear.
There is a man on his knees in front of Joel with his cock in his mouth.
So, when Joel looks at you with a glint in his eye, you're suddenly rooted to the spot, staring between him and the man beneath him. A smirk from Joel tells you you've been looking a little too long so, embarrassed and not quite sure what to do with yourself, you spin around, turning to inspect the back of a chair as if it was the most interesting thing in the room, not the man currently bobbing his head up and down on Joel's length.
"Eyes on me, sweetheart," he drawls from behind you. "Ain't no fun for me if you ain't lookin'."
As you always do where Joel is concerned, you do as you're told, taking a deep breath as you turn back to watch the man swallow down Joel's cock. You'd seen this kind of thing before - turned down the wrong street at the wrong time more than once only to see someone on their knees for someone else, earning yourself a wink or an insult for the privilege. But you never stayed to watch. Yet, here you are, staying and watching either because it was Joel, or because he asked, you weren't too sure.
The why doesn't exactly matter, you figure, not when your cheeks were rapidly heating and the wet patch in your panties was doing nothing but grow.
"Think he likes the audience too," Joel is saying, nodding down to the guy on his knees. "Don't you?"
You can see that he does. There's a hard bulge in the front of his pants, a bulge that looks much harder than the cock currently in his mouth.
"Dick always so hard for a straight guy. Think you like being a cocksucker." Joel gives the man an awkward pat on the head and huffs out a laugh, looking away from him to look back at you.
"Likin' what you see, sweetheart?" he jokes, casting dark eyes up and down your body. He can't see much. It's still fucking freezing, which is no surprise for a February in Boston, and you're still wrapped up against the elements because of it. But you know his gaze is looking through all of it, seeing through the layers straight down to your flesh, to your hard nipples and the wetness between your legs. He raises that infuriating, knowing, eyebrow at you and you roll your eyes.
"'m serious, you gotta keep lookin' or I'm never gonna come," he says then, and you drag your eyes back in an instant. You briefly wonder why - how - he would never come from this until it hits you.
Having a man suck his dick isn't Joel Miller's idea of a good time. Whoever the man on his knees is, he owes Joel. Maybe just like you did, or maybe worse. It doesn't matter, because you're not witnessing a blow job, you're witnessing a fucking business transaction.
And so you laugh - not at Joel, or the man, not really, but at the entire fucked situation and the world that brought you to this place.
"Y'hear that?" Joel growls down at the man. "She's laughin' at you."
Pinching his eyes shut, the man groans, and you swear you can see a dark patch starting to form on the front of his pants. It almost feels wrong, looking at another mans bulge like this when Joel's cock is right there, disappearing in and out of the strangers mouth at a languid pace. You can't even ask his name - his mouth too full to get out more than a garbled moan. Maybe names don't matter either.
Joel's eyes haven't left you, and yours haven't left the thatch of hair at the base of his cock. He's harder now, softness completely gone now that you're here to witness it. Giving and watching a blow job are so much different to what you expected. There's a wet sound in the air, for one. That rhythmic, wet noise of a throat being fucked was usually masked by your own moans, made easy to ignore by the distraction filling your mouth. But here, several steps away, it is loud.
"That's it. Keep your eyes right there," Joel murmurs before pointing to your outer layer. "Unzip your coat, lemme see. Get those pretty tits out for me, sweetheart. Don't mind him. He ain't gonna look. Are you?"
The man groans again, keeping his eyes shut as his head bobs on Joel's cock, taking an impressive amount of him down his throat with each movement. There's a small shake of his head, and while you don't believe him, you find you don't care either. You don't know the man on the floor any more than he knows you, and you have a feeling he's likely to keep his mouth shut once he leaves Joel's apartment today anyway.
A fraction of a second later, you're pulling your jacket open and yanking your sweater up above your tits, baring them to Joel. He murmurs something to himself, fisting his shirt tightly as he holds it up, exposing his belly. It strikes you then how damn distracted you had been every time before now - Joel's fingers, or tongue, or cock working you in such a way that you were brainless and oblivious to the physical affects you had on him. Now, its obvious. Like a man possessed, he watches you with blown eyes, his cock in full hardness now as the man below him works him over with his mouth and tongue.
Dragging cool fingers down your exposed chest, you meet your already pebbled nipples, pinching them and holding back a soft gasp. It's as much for you as it is to get a reaction from Joel, and if he didn't know you were wet before, he does now.
"That's it, play with 'em. And keep watching, sweetheart. Want you to watch when I come down his throat."
It's a struggle to keep your eyes open, but certainly not a chore. The man has picked up his pace, sucking and moaning around Joel's length as he slurps it down. He holds back a splutter when Joel's hips buck forward just as you pinch your nipples harder again, squeezing the flesh of your tits in cold palms.
"Fuuck, that's it, keep watchin'. You like that? Bet you want a taste of this dick too, huh?"
You nod, words stuck in your throat as Joel presses the mans head further into his crotch, rocking his hips to fuck lightly into his mouth.
"You needy and dripping over there ain't you?" he growls. He doesn't wait for you to nod, he doesn't need to. "Yeah you fuckin' are. Dirty fuckin' girl, watching my dick gettin' sucked. You like watching, don't you? Say it. Wanna hear it."
"I like it. I like watching, Joel," you say, barely more than a whisper as you become more and more entranced by Joel's cock in the mans mouth.
"Shit. Keep watchin'. Gonna come. Need you to watch."
It's all you can do to hold back a moan, your panties now probably ruined by your dripping, neglected cunt. This was not what you came here for, but watching Joel mumble obscenities and growl filth to you and the man on his knees as he gets his cock sucked was something you never knew you wanted before now. Sure, you want to touch, to play with him yourself. But watching is getting you wetter and wetter without even a finger or the press of your thighs to help you along the way.
"That's it. You keep suckin'. Fuck. Gonna bet you want this load in you not in him, right?"
Nodding frantically, you move a hand to your waistband, a soft plea on your lips, ready to pull your pants down any second. "Please - "
"Fuck - shit - well too bad, sweetheart. You look at that dick gettin' sucked. Shit - gonna come. Look at me. I said look at me."
Your eyes meet his just as they flutter closed. Joel groans a curse, his balls starting to empty into the throat of the man in front of him until he's suddenly tugging the mans hair, pulling his mouth off of his cock. The man gasps, swallowing down what he can as Joel rapidly strokes his spit soaked length, jerking the remains of his spend over the mans face and mouth. His eyes immediately flick to yours, a soft moan having left your own lips the moment Joel started to come, and he groans again, a final spurt coating the mans chin, soaking his facial hair. It's filthy. Not the most filthy thing you know Joel's done, but the most filthy thing you've ever seen him do from the outside. You can't help but stare on in silence, too captivated by the spurts of milky white dripping over the mans face, his eyes still screwed tight. You're aching and desperate to stick a hand down your pants, to feel how wet you are, to touch your clit and make yourself come as you try to hold yourself upright on shaky legs.
Through syrupy blood pulsing in your ears you hear Joel growl down at the man, removing his hand from his hair like it's burned his palm. Then, he's looking to you again, deep brown eyes searching your own before falling down, down to where your hand cups your breast and your other fists the waistband of your pants in a tight grip. He knows - knows that even if you came here already wet and wanting, you were even more so now.
And it's with a smirk and a sharp snap of his fingers that he pulls you back into the room. The man's eyes are open now, avoiding yours as he wipes cum from his face with his sleeve, covertly licking his lips for any remnant taste of Joel. You can't blame him, fuck knows you'd done the same when Joel had swiped a taste of himself over your own lips, but you can't help the jealousy at wanting to taste again too.
It's then you remember your exposed chest, and you yank your sweater back down without another glance to the man on his knees. Joel shakes his head, a shit eating grin spreading across his face as he strides across the room. He goes to the cupboard where you know he keeps a small amount of his stock, rifling through for a second before coming back with a baggy and tossing it down on the floor at the mans knees. He scrambles for it immediately, climbing to his feet and grabbing the door. Joel doesn't look at him again.
"Say hello to your wife for me," Joel calls over his shoulder, and the man scurries away without a word.
Now it's just you and him, his unbuttoned pants the only remaining evidence of what just happened.
You hesitate, partly in stunned silence, partly your brain having turned to liquid between your ears, all coherent thought lost the moment Joel's cum spurted across the mans face. But there's still that unsatisfied ache between your legs, throbbing and making your hand twitch, willing you to reach for him now that he's so close.
Joel sees it, he knows, knows what you came here for and knows what you won't be getting.
"Not today, sweetheart. Couldn't even if I tried," he says gesturing to his spent already dick tucked back into his pants. "Gotta head out again too, so whatever you got goin' on in those panties, you gotta deal with it yourself." He finishes with a wink and a tap to your chin before grabbing a small gym bag from the couch. You hadn't even seen it there, brain too occupied by more interesting things happening in this room at the time.
So it's no surprise, really, when your mouth starts running before your mind can process what it's doing. There's only one thing you're thinking of. One thing, aside from the throb in your core, that you can't stop thinking about, that envy won't let you give up.
"Would you - " your mouth gapes, opening and closing like a fish while your mind stutters and stops. You shouldn't even ask. There's no answer that can satisfy that particular itch. Not as quickly as you'd want it, at least. If he said yes, he'd already said nothing could happen right now, and if he said no, well... there was something about the thought of him denying you that did something to you too. There was no winning.
"Would I what?"
Of course, Joel had already heard. Even as he potters about the apartment, dumping stuff into the bag from places you've not been paying attention to. He stops, prompting you to go on.
"Would you... Would you come in my mouth like that? One time?"
He stares at you with his mouth open in disbelief. "You want me to come in your mouth?"
You nod, your mouth suddenly so fucking dry you can't speak anymore. You'd been salivating, able to practically taste the phantom flavor of Joel's cum on your tongue just a moment ago. Now, it was like you'd been chewing on bricks, tongue sticky and dry and your teeth feeling like an awkward jumble in your mouth.
"Well, shit. Call the press. Respectable good girl wants to be my little cocksucker -"
"Fine, if you're going to make fun, I don't -"
"Woah, hold on, I'm fuckin' with you. I ain't gonna turn down shutting that pretty mouth up with my dick. Gotta do it more than one time though, sweetheart. You around tomorrow?"
Between jobs and your dad having a day off, it would be a few days before you could come back. Shaking your head, you offer up Thursday instead. It's only three days away. You can make it three more days. Right?
"Thursday works for me. Come by in the afternoon. I'll come in that mouth, and then I'll play with that pussy while I get worked up again," he says before adding, with a cock of his head, "Then I'll come in that too."
And you're dumbstruck - the fantasy you concocted in your own head far surpassed by Joel's own, seemingly thought up right on the spot as he maneuvers you out into the hallway.
"See you then, sweetheart."
He pushes you out of the door, fingers electrified where they touch your shoulder. You expect the door to snap shut behind you, like it has so many times before, but he follows you out into the hallway, locking the door behind him. With a wink, he stalks off down the corridor, legs carrying him out of the apartment block too quick for you to keep up.
Later that night, alone in bed and wondering how the hell you're going to last two more days like this, you rub yourself stupid to thoughts of Joel's cock in a mouth that isn't yours.
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physalian · 4 months ago
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“How do I know if my story needs work or if I’m just being hard on myself?”
As I sit here accepting the fact that at 70k words into Eternal Night’s sequel while waiting for my editor for Eternal Night itself, that I have made an error in my plot.
Disclaimer: This is not universal and the writing experience is incredibly diverse. Figuring this out also takes some time and building up your self-confidence as an author so you can learn to separate “this is awful (when it’s not)” and “this is ok (but it can be better)” and “this isn’t working (but it is salvageable).”
When I wrote my first novel (unpublished, sadly), years ago, I would receive feedback all over the chapters and physically have to open other windows to block off parts of the screen on my laptop to slow-drip the feedback because I couldn’t handle constructive criticism all at once. I had my betas color-code their commentary so I could see before I read any of it that it wasn’t all negative. It took me thrice as long as it does today to get through a beta’s feedback because I got so nervous and anxious about what they would say.
The main thing I learned was this: They’re usually right, when it’s not just being mean (and even then, it’s rarely flat out mean), and that whatever criticisms they have of my characters and plot choices is not criticism of myself.
It did take time.
But now I can get feedback from betas and even when I hear “I’d DNF this shit right now unless you delete this,” I take a step back, examine if this one little detail is really that important, and fix it. No emotional turmoil and panic attack needed. I can also hear “I didn’t like it” without heartbreak. Can’t please everyone.
The only time I freak out is when I'm told "this won't need massive edits" followed up by, in the manuscript, "I'd DNF this shit right now". Which happened. And did not, in fact, require a massive rewrite to fix.
So.
What might be some issues with your story and why it “isn’t working”.
1. Your protagonist is not active enough in the story
You’ve picked your protagonist, but it’s every other character that has more to do, more to say, more choices to make, and they’re just along for the ride, yet you are now anchored to this character’s story because they’re the protagonist. You can either swap focus characters, or rework your story to give them more agency. Figure out why this character, above any other, is your hero.
2. Your pacing is too slow
Even if you have a “lazy river” style story where the vibes and marinating in the world is more important than a breakneck plot, slow pacing isn’t just “how fast the story moves” it’s “how clearly is the story told,” meaning if you divert the story to a side quest, or spend too long on something that sure is fluffy or romantic or funny, but it adds nothing to the characters because it’s redundant, doesn’t advance the plot, doesn’t give us more about the world that actually matters to the themes, then you may have lost focus of the story and should consider deleting it, or editing important elements into the scenes so they can pull double-duty and serve a more active purpose.
3. You’ve lost the main argument of your narrative
Sometimes even the best of outlines and the clearest plans derail. Characters don’t cooperate and while we see where it goes, we end up getting hung up on how this one really cool scene or argument or one-liner just has to be in the story, without realizing that doing so sacrifices what you set out to accomplish. Personally I think sticking to your outline with biblical determination doesn’t allow for new ideas during the writing process, but if you find yourself down the line of “how did we get here, this isn’t what I wanted” you can always save the scenes in another document to reuse later, in this WIP or another in the future.
4. You’re spending too long on one element
Even if the thing started out really cool, whether it’s a rich fantasy pit stop for your characters or a conversation two characters must have, sometimes scenes and ideas extend long past their prime. You might have characters stuck in one location for 2 or 3 chapters longer than necessary trying to make it perfect or stuff in all these details or make it overcomplicated, when the rest of the story sits impatiently on the sidelines for them to move on. Figure out the most important reasons for this element to exist, take a step back, and whittle away until the fat is cut.
5. You’ve given a side character too much screentime
New characters are fun and exciting! But they can take over the story when they’re not meant to, robbing agency from your core characters to leave them sitting with nothing to do while the new guy handles everything. You might end up having to drag your core characters along behind them, tossing them lines of dialogue and side tasks to do because you ran out of plot to delegate with one character hogging it all (which is the issue I ran into with the above mentioned WIP). Not talking about a new villain or a new love interest, I mean a supporting character who is supposed to support the main characters.
As for figuring out the difference between “this is awful and I’m a bad writer” and “this element isn’t working” try pretending the book was written by somebody else and you’re giving them constructive criticism.
If you can come up with a reason for why it’s not working that doesn’t insult the writer, it’s probably the latter. As in, “This element isn’t working… because it’s gone on too long and the conversation has become cyclical and tiring.” Not “this element isn’t working because it’s bad.”
Why is it bad?
“This conversation is awkward because…. There’s not enough movement between characters and the dialogue is really stiff.”
“This fight scene is bad because….I don’t have enough dynamic action, enough juicy verbs, or full use of the stage I’ve set.”
“This romantic scene is bad because…. It’s taking place at the wrong time in the story. I want to keep it, but this character isn’t ready for it yet, and the vibe is all wrong now because they’re out-of-character.”
“This argument is bad because…. It didn’t have proper build-up and the sudden shouting match is not reflective of their characters. They’re too angry, and it got out of hand quickly. Or I’m not conveying the root of their aggression.”
There aren’t very many bad ideas, just bad execution. “Only rational people can think they’re crazy. Crazy people think they’re sane,” applies to writing, too.
I just read a fanfic recently where, for every fight scene, I could tell action was not the writer’s strong suit. They leaned really heavily on a crutch of specific injuries for their characters, the same unusual spot getting hit over and over again, and fights that dragged on for too long being unintentionally stagnant. The rest of the fic was great, though, and while the fights weren’t the best, I understood that the author was trying, and I kept reading for the good stuff. One day they will be better.
In my experience beta reading, it’s the cocky authors who send me an unedited manuscript and tell me to be kind (because they can’t take criticism), that they know it’s perfect they just want an outside opinion (they don’t want the truth, they want what will make them feel good), that they know it’s going to make them a lot of money and everyone will love it (they haven’t dedicated proper time and effort into researching marketing, target audiences, or current trends)—these are the truly bad authors. Not just bad at writing, but bad at taking feedback, are bullies when you point out flaws in their story, and cheap, too.
The best story I have received to date was where the author didn’t preempt with a self-deprecating deluge of “it’s probably terrible you know but here it is anyway” or “this is perfect and I’m super confident you’re going to love it”.
It was something like, “This is my first book and I know it has flaws and I’m nervous but I had a lot of fun doing it”.
And yeah, it needed work, but the bones of something great were there. So give yourself some credit, yeah?
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stupidlittlespirit · 21 days ago
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Rating: SFW (later chapters will be NSFW) Type: Long form, multi-chapter, Stanford Pines x Reader Tags: Mutual pining, no pronouns used, teasing, a special appearance from Stan, mentions of the kids, housekeeper!Reader, tw: my horrible jokes. Word count: 5,729 My other works: here on tumblr and here on Ao3! Ch.2 here
In which a simple expedition with Ford goes increasingly sideways and you learn more than enough about thermodynamics to last you a lifetime.
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A/N: This has been quite an undertaking to produce. I created this fic as somewhat of a universe in which base a number of my post-portal!Ford one-shots etc in, and that meant I had to lay a lot of groundwork in it. I wanted to have a setting where I didn't need to keep giving background on what the Reader's role is and how/why they feel a certain way in every fic, and to also offer a kind of timeline that could be explored through future works. Because of that, in this fic there will be vague allusions to some small events happening to set us up for the current day and if people are interested in reading more about those events in full detail then I'd really love to explore them properly with you guys.
Just as an aside - Reader will mention they don't have a father in a throwaway line. It can be taken as just a joke or as literal. Up to you.
Anyway, most of this fic is already completed and I'll be posting a new chapter every couple of days or so. You can wait to read it all in one go or enjoy it in chapters. There will be roughly 5 in total. Enjoy!
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Sometimes, in life, things align so perfectly that a person can't stop themselves from considering the possibility of cosmic interference.
Deities. The universe. Some other unseen, all powerful entity of murky origin. All of their existences seem far more plausible when events in one's life fall effortlessly into place and line up to give them the exact thing they've always wanted.
Today is one of those days.
You're busy chopping onions when the planets orient themselves for you.
The broad kitchen knife in your hand knocks rhythmically against the oak board underneath it with every slice you make and the little ribbons of milk-white flesh stack neatly between blade and vegetable, but your attention is, quite irresponsibly, elsewhere.
You really ought to be keeping track of your fingers but you're far too preoccupied with gazing out of the bay window in front of you to really care all that much. The thing is huge; its frame is rimmed with rich mahogany and it has one broad, square pane sitting in the centre, beset by two more, slimmer, rectangular pieces. It drinks in the waning daylight outside and on sunnier evenings, the pretty little stained panels that skirt the tops of each one glow a rich blue, showing off the depictions of constellations inside, like someone has captured part of the night sky and trapped it within the glass for their own private amusement.
Today, the clouds block the sun and the cerulean glass is dull, but you don’t mind too much. You’re not making use of the window to admire the art, lovely as it may be. You’re far more focused on what’s taking place on the lawn, beyond the bounds of the warm interior of the house.
Out on the well-kept grass, two figures are vigorously working out. Well, one is. The other looks like he’d rather keel over and die than spend another second out there, but he’s doing his best all the same and that’s what matters, you suppose.
Steam rises from Ford’s figure as he pauses in his work to help his nephew grip a mid-sized dumbbell correctly. It curls off and around his body like smoke, rising from its sweaty source and wafting into the unseasonably cool air. His cheeks are pink, likely both from exertion and the chill in the weather, and the colour blooms all the way across his face, stretching far enough to even tickle the tips of his ears.
He looks gorgeous.
Dressed in all-black, he’s wearing a short sleeve t-shirt and sweats, paired with dirty blue trainers. Where the skin of his throat and arms should be exposed, however, they’re instead wrapped up tight in what you presume to be some kind of fancy thermal shirt. You’ve never seen him wear anything that shows off his skin, yet somehow the way it clings to the curves of his biceps and forearms is even more revealing than seeing them bare.
Granted, this isn't the first time you've spied on one of his workout sessions like this (in almost exactly the same way), but every time he shows up, it feels like you've been blessed by the Heavens.
Ford, for what it’s worth, hasn’t noticed anything untoward. Not as far as you’re aware, anyway. He’s usually too lost in whatever he’s doing to pay you much mind and if he does catch your presence in the window, you’re always quick to make yourself look busy.
Ford works out four times a week, like clockwork, on the front lawn of the house he shares with his brother. He doesn't always have his nephew with him (Dipper clearly only ever wants to do his best for his great-uncle, however exercise is hardly the kid's forte and you can't say you blame him), which means that oftentimes you get the absolute pleasure of observing a clueless Ford lift weights and stretch his quads for sixty minutes whilst you break from your other chores to prepare them all dinner.
You've been working for the Pines’ for the better part of a year now and getting hired had been a complete accident:
Upon moving to Gravity Falls eighteen months ago and landing the first job you had come across in the local paper (an underpaid, exhausting waitressing gig at the local diner) you’d run into the kids one afternoon on a rare day off.
Mabel had almost smashed your ankle to bits after she and her brother had lost control of their overstuffed trolley and once they had finished their litany of apologies, you’d taken note of the cart’s contents: primarily filled with sugar riddled snacks and items with so little nutritional value that you’d been astounded they’d been legal to sell, neither one of the kids appeared to know how they were going to lug all their so-called food home or what they were going to make for dinner.
Without much else to do, you’d volunteered to lend a hand. They had explained their task: “Grunkle Stan says his back hurts too much to waste time in the store these days and he promised that if we helped, he’d make Grunkle Ford teach us how to drive so we can do it even faster!” Mabel had enthusiastically informed you, eyes bright and metaphorical tail bushy, and despite your confusion over the concept of a ‘Grunkle’, the idea of two apparently-just-turned fourteen year olds at the wheel had been less than thrilling.
Some gentle sweet talking had convinced them to swap out some of their items for things a little more suitable and you’d carried their bags back on a short walk to the house where you’d met the infamous Stan lounging on its porch, his feet up on some empty crates.
At Mabel’s excited introduction of you and her retelling of your recipe ideas, Stan had given you a once over before he’d asked how you felt about replacing the kids as dinner gofer. As it turned out, sending two hyperactive children out to get groceries every week had apparently (shockingly) not been working out too well for the older brothers, and one offer of help had turned into several paid offers.
After only a few short weeks of assisting them, you’d been offered a full time position as housekeeper. The decision to take them up on it had been easy; waitressing barely covered the bills for your decrepit little cabin on the outskirts of town and spending hours every day walking the same five metre route to and from the kitchen six days a week was monotonous enough that you’d been considering moving on anyway.
You’d jumped at the chance.
Technically, your job here is to help with the household tasks that Stan is too lazy to do and that Ford is too busy researching or gallivanting around in the forest to take on, but more often than not, you’re stuck doing whatever little thing Stan thinks up so that he can, as he puts it: ‘enjoy his retirement, sweetheart’. The work extends to any little chore they might need help with, and when the kids head home for summer and Ford and Stan set sail for a few months again, it falls to you to keep the place standing until they return.
Hence why you’re slaving away in their roomy kitchen this evening, gazing out at Ford like you’re some kind of yearning protagonist in a classic romance novel and turning over several thoughts in your mind that you’re sure would get you fired if you revealed them in detail to anyone else. You exhale softly as you watch him show Dipper how to correctly pull off a bicep curl, his arm flexing beneath his shirt.
Behind you, at the dinner table, Stan pauses where he's rustling through his daily newspaper at a leisurely pace and his chair creaks as he shifts in it. “Keep sighing like that and you’ll fog the windows up before he’s finished.”
You start, having completely forgotten his presence, and narrowly you swerve the kitchen knife to avoid chopping off the tip of your index finger. “Jesus, Stan!” you huff. “I almost cut my hand off! They should put a bell on you.”
Stan laughs under his breath. “Oh, they’ve tried, trust me,” he mutters darkly. “Besides, that’s what you get for not paying attention.”
“I am paying attention,” you lie. “I was just…. Thinking.”
“About what?” Stan asks, in a way that suggests he already knows. He probably does.
Stan is the only other person besides yourself who’s aware of your affection for Ford.
The crush had started small, blossoming slowly over time into something more significant, and Stan had worked it out before you’d even caught it yourself.
For all his faults, the guy is as perceptive as they come and admittedly, he’s a lot of fun in his own right. He’s cantankerous and rough around the edges, and yet he’s got a heart of gold that he hides deep underneath his gaudy chains and string vests. At first, he’d been grumpy and standoffish about your presence, despite being the one to hire you in the first place, but as time has gone by and you’ve proven yourself to be competent at both the work and at giving as good you get, he’s dropped his guard and dragged you into his jokes and games.
Although he’s less than thrilled about your private sentiments towards his brother, he's charming in his own special way and he only ever uses it to rag on you when he’s feeling mean. To the best of your knowledge, he hasn’t said a word to anyone else about it. Stan is an ass, but he’s not cruel.
And while you’re not going to divulge your most intimate thoughts to him, you’ll always rise to a little back and forth with him. He seems to enjoy having a verbal sparring partner.
“How old did you say your brother was again?” You ask with feigned innocence, glancing over your shoulder at him.
“What?” Stan grunts, folding the top of his paper down enough to glower at you over it.
“I said, remind me how old your brother is again,” you repeat, turning your attention back to watching Ford lean down to stretch his hamstrings again. It looks like he’s cooling down for the day now which means he’ll be doing static stretches for the next ten minutes, and every time he does so you’re treated to a wonderful view of his ass.
“Same age as me,” Stan says, and at your silence he tacks on: “We’re twins,” like you’re an idiot.
“So….?”
“He’s sixty-two, genius.”
“Huh,” you mutter quietly. “Interesting….”
It's hard to remember when Ford is so agile and active, and for all your interest in him, you've never actually asked his age. Sixty-two is perfectly doable though, in every conceivable sense of the word…..
Stan rustles his paper again. “If you’re thinkin’ about what I think you’re thinkin’ about, and I know you are, don’t even think about it.”
You snort. He has such a way with words.
"I told you last time, stay away from him. He's...." Stan pauses, as though he intends to say something else but thinks better of it. "He's old enough to be your father."
“I don’t have a father,” you say absentmindedly.
It’s Stan’s turn to snort now. “Y’know, that makes a lot of sense, actually.”
You tear your gaze away from Ford’s routine to flip Stan the bird, sticking your tongue out for good measure before you reach for the glass mixing bowl to your right. Now that your evening matinee is ending, you really ought to get a move on with dinner.
“Anyway, I didn’t hire you to gawp at my brother like he’s a piece of meat on the discount shelf,” Stan grouches. “You’re s’posed to be cooking.”
“I'm not gawping, I just happen to be facing the same way that he's doing all his stuff in,” you say defensively, before adding in a muttered: “Besides, he definitely wouldn’t be on the discount shelf.”
“Uh huh,” Stan says, clearly not believing a word.
Rather than defend your actions, you focus on your work: Tonight's dinner is wild mushroom pie. You've only made it once before but it's nice and filling, and you're supposed to be helping everyone eat better. Bad diets run in the family apparently (although where Ford is concerned, he just as often skips meals altogether some days) and so far, they've all been amenable to trying something new. The kids had been reluctant to test out vegetables at first but after a few valiant efforts to make them as palatable as possible they'd come round.
A lot of the work is already done; a pot of stock is simmering away on the hob, the onions from earlier are ready to be tossed into the slowly-warming frying pan and a red, ceramic pie dish is neatly lined with pastry and ready to go whenever you need it. For now, the next task is to prepare the star ingredient: Wild mushrooms.
You’ll be the first to admit, quite happily, that you're not the most outdoorsy of people and you're going to cheat a little bit on the ‘wild’ requirements. You'd picked up a packet of the things last weekend at the supermarket with the intention of doing one thing or another with them, and it does say on the label that they're wild, so you'll let yourself off on that one. Although, knowing Gravity Falls you're really hoping that ‘wild’ isn't a play on words and they turn out to be some kind of feral man-eating fungi. You're not in the mood to be hunted down by a hungry creature today.
Leaving your pots and pans to simmer, you check in the pantry for the little box only to come up empty handed. There's no sign of it anywhere in there, not even when you rummage around right at the back, and you call out to Stan in confusion: “Have you seen the mushrooms I brought back last week?”
“The ones in the brown container?” Stan asks.
“Yeah….”
“Mabel fed ‘em to Waddles last night,” he says, and when you stick your head around the pantry door to stare at him in disbelief, he shrugs without looking up. “What was I supposed to do, tell her no?”
You know what he means; She’s upstairs right now giving the damn pig a manicure makeover with your old (and apparently animal safe) nail polishes because you hadn’t had it in you to deny her them when she’d been upset about her own limited supplies.
It’s extraordinarily hard to refuse Mabel anything and you can appreciate the difficulty, but still.
“Stan, I told you what I was planning to cook tonight!” You groan, kicking the pantry door shut. “How am I supposed to make a mushroom pie with no mushrooms?”
You can’t exactly nip to the store today either. Every single shop in town is shut. The news this morning had warned of a major storm blowing in and informed everyone that they best stay at home lest they keep an inflatable raft in their back pocket, and no one sells those outdated things anymore. Too many accidental indoor deployments, apparently.
According to Ford, this place is susceptible to irrational weather spells and the increasingly aggressive changes in pressure and temperature that have spawned with global warming have only made them more volatile. Last summer there had been a spate of hailstorms that had puked up football-sized pieces of ice and smashed the windscreen of your car to pieces. You’re still sore about that one….
“What am I supposed to do?” You lament, sparing a miserable glance at the half-done recipe on the stove.
From behind you, a deep voice makes you jump: “Is something wrong?”
You almost leap out of your skin, swivelling on the spot to find the source hovering in the doorway of the kitchen.
Both brothers have the ability to be supernaturally quiet when they want to be. While Stan uses his subtlety less often, Ford skulks around like a well practised alley cat a lot of the time and he frequently scares the shit out of you. He must have finished his routine and crept back inside unannounced.
He gives you an apologetic smile, holding one hand up to ease your fear. “Apologies,” he laughs under his breath. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
Ford is still dressed in his workout clothes, his thick, wavy hair roguishly dishevelled and slightly damp at the temples, and he looks just as lovely up close as he had done from the window. Perhaps even lovelier.
You swallow thickly, your brain short circuiting at the sight of him. “Uh, yes?” You say, though it's more of a question than an answer.
Ford looks at you expectantly, evidently waiting for you to expand on your problem, and Stan smirks at your lack of grace.
You shake your head minutely, desperately pulling yourself together and hoping he'll assume your speechless state is just because he's made you jump and not because your heart is climbing up your throat.
“I'm making pie,” you say, jerking your thumb over at the pots. “And someone,” You pause to fix Stan with an annoyed look and he rolls his eyes. “Let Mabel feed them all to Waddles, and…. I don’t have a back up plan.”
You feel a little stupid admitting it aloud.
Ford hums thoughtfully, heavy brows creasing together as he leans against the doorframe.
“That's quite the conundrum….” He says, frowning at the flagstone tiles under your feet.
His dark eyes flicker back and forth quickly, and you can tell he's trying to think up a solution.
After a long pause, he snaps his fingers and speaks up again: “You know, I did stumble across a nice little patch of mushrooms not far from here about a month ago. We could take a walk up there and grab some, if you'd like?”
“In the forest?” You ask, brows raised.
“Where else?” Ford grins, and you feel your stomach fill with butterflies. “They're edible, of course, I've tested them myself.”
“Are you telling me you ate random mushrooms you found on the ground, Doctor Pines?” You ask, mildly appalled. “They could have killed you.”
Ford waves a hand dismissively. “Unlikely. My travels have given me something of an iron stomach. It takes more than a Death Cap to put me down these days.”
At the mention of ‘travels’, you perk up a bit.
Ford's history is more than a little murky to you. In the time you’ve been working for the family, you’ve only heard second-hand snippets or passing mentions of his alleged escapades. The kids have let slip to you several times about his adventures and, despite initially assuming they'd been making things up for fun, the stories had eventually begun to seem a little too consistent to simply be make-believe.
One evening, when the kids had been safely tucked up in bed and Ford had been locked away in his study, you’d brought the subject up to Stan over a nightcap on the porch.
Stan had sighed, lit a cigar, and sworn you to secrecy before giving you a rough outline of his brother’s complex background: his outstandingly impressive academic history, their less-than-ideal family rift and some kind of accident that had sent Ford careening into, quite literally, another dimension. Stan hadn’t gone into excessive detail, and you hadn’t pushed despite desperately wanting to, but by his own admission he had felt that if you were to be working around them then you’d be better off at least having some idea of their strange history.
And strange it is.
You yourself have only lived in Gravity Falls for the better part of eighteen months and becoming accustomed to the weirdness of this place has been unusually easy. Residents take the bizarre in such casual stride that you’re more likely to stick out should you make a fuss about it all and after a while, seeing the odd oddity around had quickly become the norm.
At Stan’s vague reveal of his brother’s disappearance and, as everyone else calls them, his travels, the notion had been surprisingly easy to fathom in the context of such an already weird place. Utterly incredible, yet somehow very in line with this town.
Ford has never brought it up to you himself beyond a rare, fleeting mention, but you’re aware that he’s apparently spent significant time in places that other people might only dream of.
You’re sure he knows of your vague awareness but you know better than to poke around in other people’s sore wounds without permission.
Stan had warned that neither he nor his brother were predisposed to telling everyone and anyone about his time away and you can’t really blame them. From what you know (and can imagine), it can’t have been all fun and games.
“I think he’s got, like, PTSD or somethin’,” Stan had said that night, sounding genuinely heartbroken about it. “So don’t go sniffing around him, alright? He’s…. It’s difficult. Everyone’s been through a lot. Maybe we’ll tell you about it properly one day.”
You understand, of course. Whatever has gone on in their lives is clearly significant and you’re still an outsider. A year is no time at all in the grand scheme of things and they’re a tightly-knit, protective family. They’ve no reason to fill you in on their traumatic family history just because you help around the house and you’ve no right to know it, but you’re willing to earn their trust and if the stories come with it, then so be it.
Although slow to start, things have been going well so far and you’re closer than ever with them, so every titbit Ford drops has you on tenterhooks immediately.
“Besides,” Ford says, still on the subject of his thrilling mushroom discoveries, “their lack of toxicity isn’t even the most exciting part!” He adjusts his glasses and you can tell he's gearing up into scientist-mode.
Behind you, Stan sighs, long-suffering.
“I thought they tasted significantly more intense than a regular mushroom, so once I’d confirmed that they were safe for general human consumption, I asked Dipper to try them. He reported them to be, in his words, 'beefy'. Now, Umami is the most commonly associated flavour with regard to mushrooms because of naturally occurring glutamate, but monosodium glutamate, which would deepen the flavour even more and fall in line with mine and Dipper's taste tests, isn't, and I doubt the gnomes are out there spraying crops with MSG. They haven't the tools for that, I've checked. Anyway, I asked Mabel to try them and she said they tasted, quote, ‘like chocolate stirred by puppies and angels’,”
Here, Ford pauses to laugh fondly before he goes on:
“Which is most certainly not a common flavour of mushroom. So my hypothesis is that they change taste based on whoever touches them and I've been meaning to test them again, seeing as we ate the first batch before I could record the findings properly. We'd be killing two birds with one stone, really.”
You have to fight back a smile. The way he lights up when he talks about his stupid fucking mushrooms is beyond cute and you always enjoy watching him get passionate about his projects, especially when he veers off course on silly tangents that he deems relevant.
But Ford has never asked you to accompany him before which makes this event all the more alluring. It's a privilege to be invited along and as much as you want to jump at the chance, you do have one worry:
“What about the storm?”
At the table, Stan pushes his chair back with a screech and stands up. “Exactly. TV said it's gonna be a bad one and I'm not paying for another newspaper ad if you kill our housekeeper just because you wanna show off again.”
Ford sputters. “I'm not showing off, Stanley! This is about science!”
It should be worrying that his main concern is his pride over your potential death-by-negligence, but the way the top of his ears turn red at his brother's accusation overrules your concern. He's disgustingly adorable when he gets embarrassed.
Dipper chooses that exact moment to trot past his great uncle's side and into the kitchen, giving you a bright, exhausted smile. He’s shed his workout gear for a t-shirt and a fresh pair of sweats, and his hair is slightly damp. “Dinner smells good,” he yawns. “I'm starving. I got ten whole reps in today, right, Grunkle Ford?” He looks especially proud about it.
Ford shucks off his ire to give his nephew a warm smile. “That you did, my boy. Up two compared to last week, by my calculations. You're going to be giving me a run for my money before the summer is over.”
Dipper rubs the back of his neck, bashful, but the way he's beaming betrays his excitement. “I wouldn't go that far….”
“Nice work, dude,” you grin, offering a hand out for a high five.
He takes the bait and slaps your palm with his before fetching himself a soda. “So, how long ‘til dinner?”
You wince inwardly. He'll be hungry enough to eat a horse by now and you can't let him subsist on snacks after all the exercise he's done today. It won't help him build the muscle you know he so desperately wants if all he eats are chips, dips and sodas.
“You better stock up on snacks tonight, kid,” Stan chuckles as he reaches for his own bag of chips that he already has open the table top. “Somebody forgot to get ingredients.”
You shoot Stan a venomous look and at Dipper's disappointed little ‘wait, what?’, you turn back to Ford. Storm be damned, the idea of letting down a child makes you feel worse than getting stuck in a downpour ever could, and you know you'll regret it but what other choice do you have? You've done stupider things for less.
“You're sure the patch isn't far from here?” You ask Ford, giving in with a sigh. “And we'll beat the storm?”
Ford beams at your change of heart, and that, combined with the knowledge of a well-fed charge, instantly makes your agreement worth it. His moods vary like the wind sometimes and you’re always eager to see him happy because you know that it means he’ll spend more time talking to you.
“We'll be in and out in under an hour, you have my word,” he assures you. “I know that place like the back of my hand.”
You sigh again. “Fine. I'll go with you to get the mushrooms.”
Dipper slips back out of the kitchen. Usually, you're sure he'd inquire about your task and ask to come along, but it seems he really is thoroughly exhausted from his gym session and he takes an early leave. Poor kid.
Ford nods, pleased. “Give me a moment to shower and change. I'll put together some supplies and then we can leave.”
“Sure,” you smile. “And thank you, Doctor Pines. I appreciate the help.”
Ford grins, giving you a nod, and then he’s following his nephew out of the kitchen, sweeping down the hallway to sort out his things.
You make use of the spare time to tidy up a little and lower the gas on the stock as low as it will go, then take the pan off the heat. If Ford means what he says about getting in and out quickly, you might have a chance at saving the rest of the prep and it would be a shame to have to start everything over again.
You clean up your workstation and make sure everything is safely put aside before taking a seat at the table to wait.
It's then that you realise Stan is watching you closely. He’s smirking, and it always makes you a little nervous when he wears that mischievous look.
“What?” You ask him hesitantly.
“You can just call him Ford, y’know,” Stan says, slumping back in his chair and looking amused. “Pretty sure he wouldn’t mind….”
You roll your eyes, shrugging one shoulder. “Not this again. I told you before, he's never asked me to call him anything else. I did the same for you when I first started, didn't I?”
“Yeah, and I told you to stop because you made me sound like my old man,” Stan gripes through a mouthful of potato chips.
“Exactly, and that's your prerogative,” you say, a little defensively.
You're telling the truth; Ford hasn’t ever asked you to call him something less formal, even if you might like to try the taste of something more intimate on your tongue. “Ford has earned his title, I’m not going to take it away from him.”
Stan snorts. “Oh, I bet he loves that.”
“What?”
“You, stroking his ego and running around after him like a lost puppy,” Stan says, amused.
“First of all, I run around for everyone in this house like a lost puppy, it's literally my job,” you say, rolling your eyes. “Secondly, I’m not stroking his ego. The guy’s smart and he’s got an armful for doctorates. I’m just…. Acknowledging that.”
“Uh huh,” Stan says, sceptical.
“What now?” You huff.
“Nothing.”
“Stan,” you say sternly. “Don’t play coy, it doesn’t suit you.”
“Oh come on,” he says, trying and failing to keep the smirk off of his face. “Could you be any more obvious? You're worse than Dipper was when he came back after all that time, hanging off his every word and getting all googly-eyed over him like the sun shines out of his ass.”
“I don’t-“
“‘Yes Doctor Pines, no Doctor Pines’,” Stan simpers, putting on a poor imitation of your voice. “Take me out to the woods and experiment on me, Doctor Pines!’”
You can feel your face heat up. “You're such an asshole sometimes, you know that? And he isn’t experimenting on me, he asked me to help hi-”
“Show me your magic mushroo -“
Someone clears their throat in the kitchen doorway and both you and Stan whip your heads around to follow the source of the noise. Much to your horror, Ford is waiting for you, clad in jeans and a trademark red turtleneck along with a pair of filthy hiking boots. There's a sizable backpack slung over one of his broad shoulders and he doesn’t look very amused at his brother's antics.
“Are you done?” He asks, levelling Stan with a searing look.
Stan opens his mouth, still grinning, and Ford cuts him off instantly. “Actually forget that, I know you’re not,” he says. “You never are.”
Then he turns his attention to you.
You’re trying very hard not to melt into a humiliated puddle on the floor and under his gaze you feel yourself slip just a little further down into your seat.
His gaze softens somewhat, almost sympathetic, and he gestures vaguely towards the front door down the hall. “If you're not too busy being harassed, I'm ready to set off,” he says.
You really rather wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole right now, but alas, you do need those stupid mushrooms…..
“Sure,” you say faintly, scrambling up from your seat.
Ford heads off towards the foyer and you try to compose yourself with a deep breath before you follow him, glancing back to stick your tongue out at Stan again.
Stanley laughs at your awkwardness and as you hurriedly trot towards the hall, he pretends to fan himself dramatically.
“Three bags full, Doctor Pines,” Stan grins, and then you're shutting the kitchen door on him before you put your job on the line with the insult you're lining up in your head.
Stan thinks he's endlessly funny when it comes to winding you up over Ford and if you show how much he gets under your skin with it, he'll only get worse. You think he might be doing it in the hopes of putting you off his brother, but he’ll need to try a lot harder than that.
Instead of encouraging him, you follow in Ford's footsteps down the short, oak panelled hallway until you reach the front door.
Ford has already donned his reliable tan trench coat, patiently waiting for you to pull your own jacket and boots on. So much of the town is woven between the forest that you practically live in hiking shoes these days and it doesn't take you long to be readily dressed and warm.
Once you’re sorted, Ford swings the heavy oak front door open. A well-timed gust of cool wind blusters in as he does so, ruffling your clothes and hair, and instantly you realise the weather is much more intimidating when face to face with it.
It's incredibly dull out here. In the short time that Ford and Dipper have ended their routine and you've packed your things up, the sky has gotten impossibly darker. The winds must have herded more clouds overhead than you’d realised and the light has faded so much that you'd be forgiven for assuming it to be almost night time. When you check your watch, however, it still reads barely 6PM.
Ford must catch the concern on your face because he picks up on your worry straight away. “It's just overcast,” he reassures you. “I’ve seen plenty of storms like this in the time I’ve lived here. We'll have enough time to make it there and back before it gets too dark, and I brought torches as a precaution.”
That makes you feel a little better, at least. You know he’s an experienced outdoorsman and he’d probably be able to find his way around here blindfolded and hogtied. If you have to go out in risky weather with anyone, Ford is your best bet.
With the stride of a uniquely confident man, Ford steps out into the evening with a sharp breath inward and a contented sigh, taking in the awaiting scent of petrichor. He holds the door open for you with one hand and gestures for you to follow with the other, offering you a rakish grin.
“Shall we?”
And when he smiles at you like that, what choice do you have?
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A/N: Yay! You made it to the end!
So firstly, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to post another work! These take a bit of time for me to write because I tend to write the entire work in one go from start to finish before I begin posting and I've also been unwell/busy, so it took a backseat for a bit but here we are!
Secondly, as I posted at the start, this is going to be a small series and will start as a decently sized multi-chapter fic. There will be smut and I already have most of it written. Your patience will be rewarded!
Please consider supporting me on ao3 also :)
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