#and i feel like the now all of china knows youre gay meme

[nityarawal]

3/7/2024

Morning Songs 

Writin' My "Jewel" Song 

I'm Gonna Write

My Jewel

Sittin' In The Rain

On The PCT

In Riverside

Listenin' 

To Her

Could Be Jelly

Sittin' In The Rain

On The PCT

Like Earnie Maxwell

And All The

Hikers Before Me

Did 'Jewel' Beg

For A Shower

At The State Park

With A Golden 

Bear Pass

Or Did She Eat

The Fifty Dollars

Like The Rest

Of Us

At The Kinder

County Shower

Gavin Newsom

Brags

About

A Free Golden Bear

State

Pass

But What He Doesn't

Say

Is Rangers Give

Us Danger

Stranger

Terrorising Moms

In Idyllwild

Misters

Won't Obey Governors

Laws

Anyways

Seemingly

Workin'

For America First Legal

Stephan Miller

Trumpleberry

OathKeepers 

What Marianne

Says

Is: You Do Politics

Or Politics

Does You

Raiding Homes

In World War 1

Woody Guthrie Sang 

Of

Trumpleberry Terrorism

Study Tesla

And See Trump On

Defense Team

Took Him Down

Raiding Homes

In World War 2

Like Elon Defeated

Now

In World War 3

Sleeping On The

Floor

Camping In CARS

In California

Flying The Globe

Eloning

Up In The Air

Praying

Feloning

God

My Beloved

Elon

Meditating

Do You Want Us

To Say How Much

We Love The "D"

Is It Better

Than Failing

Eloning

For A Fast "F"

For Military Ways

Do You Want Us

To Say

Numbers Station

Air FORCE

Was A Funny Game

90 Day Ap Challenge

Product Hunt

Smears

Was It A Funny Game

Grimesz 

Rewind AI

Fast Forward

Tips

Apple Frauds Felons

Refunds

Do You Want Us

To Know

Apple Cons

Dmv.org

On A Teenage

Bros

Drafted Junk

Do You Want Us

To See

Canadian Lab

Rats

Astronauts

Practicing

Anti-Apartheid

Medicine

Gag

Laws

Exploiting Thee

Quietly

Anti-semetically

Like Attys Force

Fed 'F's'

Do You Want To 

Be A Meme

Or A Human

Heart

Jai Ma

Is Three Maidens

Torturing

Physicists'

Your Old Jewish Man's

Atty

Judge

Dream

If You Want To

Be A Nanny

Meme 

Like The First Ladies

Kinks

Pupeteering

The Presidents

For Horn

Dogs

Prime Ministers

And Kings

Do You Want To

Be An Ad

For Spider Man

Bat Man

King With No

Clothes

Or Scorpion Balls

In Vegas

Do You Want To

Be An Astronaut

Or Greenwash

Trumpleberry Felons

For The Secret

Service

Alliance

From Britain

China

And 

Russia

SCOT

Or Do You Want

A Harem

Of Honest

Loyal

Muses

Mindfully

Singing

Psalms

For You

Trinity Divine

If You Fancy

Spider Lady

Kim Kardashian

After Buying

Texas Hold 'Em

Beyonce 

Robot

X For Forty Four Billion

Superbowl

Cons

And Losing Another

$Five Billion On

Tesla Gay Scam

Feloning

With America First Legal

Constructs

If You Want A

Spider Lady

Communist

Trans

Conservator

Putin' Baby

Trumpleberry

Ball

Then Say

If You Want

Two Million Trans

Ask Justin

Trudeau

To Pay For

The Scams

If You Want A

Kite Runner

For The Prime

Minister

Than Hire A Buddha

Don't Steal

Our DNA

My Pappa

Always Said

When He Goes

Cremate 

The Crud

My Pappa Always

Said When He Goes

Don't Delay

With Artificial

Means

Yogis 

Burn

Like Fire Blower

Maharishi

Not Neuralink

For 'Johnny' Beatles Fans'

Kids

Preserved Like An

Old Stuffed Dog

Not A Heart Beat

In A Hospital

Trapped

Between Cosmic

Lands

For Boppa's A 'Lover'

Like You And 

Me

Eloning Into

Eternity

He's A Lover Like

His Best Friend

Mitra June

He Calls Himself

Varuna

'Cuz He Feels

Like A God

With M-i-t-r-a

His Queen

And You Would

Too

He Feels Like A

God

With Mitra - His

Best Friend And

Sun

He Feels Like A

God

And You Would

Too

So Stave Off The

Airforce Hookers

Stave Off The

Astronomers Taxes

Nasa

Hustling 

Mammas 

Kidnappin'

Kids'

And Give Our

Mommies

Back

What Belongs

To Us

Refunds

In Earnest

Pleasantly

Peacefully

Civilly

'Cuz Your Cagin'

Your Loved Ones

'Ain't Love

Peace,

Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal 

[pixiegrl]

And At Last I See The Lights

Hey! @calumsclifford said that Muke is very Rapunzel/Flynn and mentioned in passing that she would love a Tangled AU based on the lantern scene. No one asked but I wrote it anyway for her to avoid the next part of Stardust AU. 

It’s also here on ao3. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/25023496) Enjoy! 

Luke’s been holding Michael’s hand since they walked into the kingdom.  Michael supposes it makes up for the fact that he was forced to spend the last part of the journey with Maximus glaring at him and Petunia, perched on Luke’s shoulder, sending him her own disgruntled look.  Michael never knew that horses and lizards were capable of expressing human emotion, but here he is, with two animals shooting daggers at him the whole way.  Michael’s not even sure what he did, other than existing and maybe stealing a crown (okay so Michael knows what he did).

Michael’s trying to not to focus on where Luke’s fingers are laced with his.  His hands are soft and warm, like the rest of him. Luke’s wearing one of Michael’s rings, after he pouted and batted his eyes at Michael for it.  Even the metal is warm across Michael’s hand. Luke insists that it’s magic that makes his hair glow, but Michael thinks that it’s just who Luke is, sunshine and warmth coming from within.  Luke’s been swinging their arms back and forth gently, smiling softly, dimple indented on his cheek.  Michael can’t seem to pull his eyes away from Luke, whose smile gets bigger the closer they get to the kingdom.

Luke is utterly oblivious to his traveling companions.  Even since the top of the castle came into view, he’s been tugging Michael along urgently, speeding up his pace as if he’s worried the kingdom will vanish if he doesn’t move fast enough.  Although, he has spent the last 20 years locked in a tower in the middle of nowhere.  As he’s been telling Michael since the moment they met, getting to see the lanterns has been his dream since he was a child.

“Michael come on,” Luke whines, tugging at Michael’s hand and pulling him across the bridge.  Michael catches his foot on Luke’s hair and stumbles forward, trying to regain his balance in time with his dignity intact.  Luke barely notices, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he pulls Michael into the town square, coming to a stop and tilting his head back to look up and around at the banners and decorations set up for the lost prince’s birthday celebration.

“Well Luke, is it everything you ever dreamed of?” Michael turns to look at Luke, whose face is filled with awe and wonder as he turns around in a circle to take it all in.

“Oh Michael. This is. So much better than anything I could have pictured,” Luke’s voice is barely above a whisper, filled with disbelief and wonderment, eyes wet and shining.  He turns to Michael and pulls the man into a tight hug. “This is the best present ever.”

Michael returns the hug, wrapping his arms around Luke and holding onto him tight.  Wrapped up in Luke’s arms, face pressed into soft blonde curls, Michael’s heart aches.  He can’t imagine what this must be like for Luke to go through so much in the last few days, for his whole life, and he’s still so optimistic and happy.

Michael pulls back to look at Luke, to say something to him that will encompass everything Michael is feeling, when he catches the flinch of pain on Luke’s face.  Michael frowns, opening his mouth to ask Luke what’s wrong, when Luke’s hand flies to his head and he whimpers.  They both look down and Michael realizes that due to the long nature of Luke’s hair, everyone is stepping on it and tugging it.

“Here, let me,” Michael fumbles, making a grab at Luke’s hair and trying to help him gather it up.  They look at each other helplessly once they’ve gathered all the hair, yards and yards of it bundled up and tangled in their arms.  

“How are we supposed to do anything now?” Luke cries, eyes wet with tears for an entirely other reason. “We can’t go anywhere or look at anything or light the lanterns if I have to hold my hair the whole time!”

Michael looks around desperately, hoping to find a solution, even if it’s something as simple as a basket so that Luke’s birthday isn’t ruined.  He catches sight of a small group of girls by the fountain, brushing and braiding each other’s hair.  He wriggles a hand free from Luke’s hair, grabbing onto the other boy’s hand, and tugging him towards the girls. “Come on, I have an idea.”

----

“Michael can’t you walk any faster!” Luke whines, pulling Michael towards the boats for the lantern release.  Michael probably could walk faster, but he feels stuck, catch off guard by the way Luke looks in the setting sun.  The braid the little girls crafted earlier is still firmly in place and the flowers Luke’s acquired and stuck into it are bright against the blonde.  Luke’s practically glowing like this and Michael’s been caught off guard, feeling like he missed a step along the way.  

Michael doesn’t have time to analyze this feeling, Luke finding a boat and turning to look at Michael expectantly.  There’s a beat where Luke and Petunia look at Michael and Michael looks at them, each waiting for the other to make a move before Michael realizes that Luke’s never been on a boat before. He doesn’t know what to do.  Michael’s heart is filled with fondness and he steps down gently into the boat, turning to Luke and holding his arms out.

“Come on, I’ll help you,” Michael offers motioning to Luke to come closer. “I promise I won’t let anything bad happen.” 

Luke takes a caution step closer and once he’s in range, Michael grabs onto his waist and lifts him up, swinging him around. Luke shrieks, grabbing on tightly to Michael’s arms, until Michael sets him down gently on both feet. Michael looks up slightly at Luke and is struck by how close their noses are, how blue Luke’s eyes are. Michael’s breath catches and he still feels like he’s missing something, like there’s a step he’s missed along the way.

The moment places and Luke releases his hold on Michael, looking away and cautiously sitting down on the boat’s front bench. Michael unties the rope and takes a seat behind Luke, picking up the paddle and rowing them away from the dock.

“Where are we going Michael?”

“Well, it’s your birthday and you wanted to see the lanterns. Figured I’d give you the best seat in the house.” Michael ceases rowing, letting the boat come to a stop in the middle of the lake, the perfect place for the light show that’s about to start.

Luke falls silent, looking up at the darkening sky in wonder.  Petunia pops out of Luke’s hair, gazing up at the sky with him.  Michael’s heart aches for this boy.  They’ve been through so much over the last few days and Luke’s pushed through everything, determined and resilient each time, optimism never faltering.  He knows their adventure, their pact, was only supposed to last until Michael brought Luke here to the lanterns but Michael can’t find the words to tell Luke he doesn’t want this to end.  Michael’s not ready to have to walk Luke back to his tower and say goodbye to him. He’s only shown Luke a tiny fraction of what the world has to offer and he knows there’s so much out there for Luke.  Luke wasn’t meant to be locked away from everyone, trapped in his lofty prison, forced to gaze out on the world below in longing.  Michael feels like taking Luke back will be betraying this soft, sweet boy, who’s never looked at Michael with anything other than trust and affection, even when they were fighting bitterly the first few days.  Michael wants to give Luke one last present, wants to steal Luke away from his tower, from his mother, and show him the world, take him on adventure after adventure until they're old and gray and there’s nothing left to explore.  Wants to promise Luke that he’ll protect him from whatever waits out in the world for them, that he’ll be Luke's protector, his home, his family in the way Luke’s mentioned never having.  At the same time, Michael knows Luke is too wonderful, too amazing for Michael to keep. Even if Michael could steal him away, Luke’s talented, beautiful, artistic and free.  Eventually Luke will outgrow Michael and leave him for bigger, better things and it would be cruel of Michael to force him to stay, trapped again. 

Michael’s so caught up in his own thoughts, heart stuck in his throat and eyes wet, that he almost misses the sad sigh Luke lets out. He glances at the boy, sees Luke dip a hand into the water below and swirl it around.  He looks small and sad, like the Luke that tied Michael to a chair demanding to know who Michael was and if he was going to hurt him.  It breaks Michael’s heart to see the sweet, confident boy he’s gotten to know vanish.

“Lukey what’s wrong?”

“I’m terrified,” Luke whispers.

“Why?”

“I’ve been looking out a window for 20 years, dreaming about what it might feel like when those lights rise in the sky,” Luke looks up to the sky and Michael studies his profile in the moonlight. Sharp upturned nose, strong jawline, pink lips, framed by soft blonde curls falling around his face and pink flowers tucked into the folds of his hair.  Blue eyes shining in the moonlight. Michael tries to memorize this moment, catalogue it away for when there’s nothing left of Luke except this one perfect memory of this one perfect night. “Michael, what if it’s not everything that I dreamed it would be?”

“It will be,” Michael whispers back, reaching out and taking Luke’s hand. Luke looks back at him and Michael’s struck by the intensity of emotion in his eyes.

“And what if it is? What do I do then? Until a few days ago, I’d never left that tower and now I’m here. I did the one thing I always dreamed of. Where do I go now?”

“That’s the good part I guess Sunshine,” Michael reaches up to brush a stray curl behind Luke’s ear.  He hears Luke’s breath catch when Michael’s fingertips graze his earlobe. “You get to go find a new dream.”

They sit in silence, gazing at each other, Michael’s fingers caught in Luke’s hair.  It’s comfortable and peaceful.  Luke opens his mouth, but is distracted by the first lantern floating up into the sky and whips his head around to stare intently at it.  More lanterns follow it into the sky.  Luke scrambles to the front of the boat, gripping onto the wood tightly as he stares up at the night sky, candlelight lighting up the night sky and basking him in their glow.

There’s a few beats where Luke gazes at the sky with awe before he whips around to look at Michael, face full of despair. “Michael! I don’t have a lantern!”

“Don’t worry Sunshine,” Michael chuckles, pulling two lanterns from where he'd hidden them under the seat when Luke was getting his hair braided, lighting them, and holding one out of Luke.  “You didn’t think I’d forget the most important part of your present.” 

Luke makes his way back to the bench. Lowering himself down gently and reaching out to take the lantern. He pauses and then turns around, grabbing Michael’s satchel from under the bench and holding it out to Michael. “I have something for you too. I should have given it to you before, but I was scared. But I’m not scared anymore Michael. You helped me realize that and I want you to have it.” 

Michael realizes that Luke’s holding the crown out to him. The crown that Luke’s been holding on to for the entirety of their trip, as blackmail to keep Michael helping him. Michael’s not sure when his helping Luke stopped being about the crown, when it stopped being the most important part of this adventure, but Michael can’t find it in him to take the satchel from Luke. He shakes his head, holding the lantern out to Luke. “You keep it. Think of it as a...souvenir of your birthday adventure.”

Luke smiles softly, dropping the satchel, and taking the lantern from Michael’s waiting hands.  He looks expectantly at Michael, until Michael lets his go and Luke follows suit.  Luke watches in awe as the lanterns float up to join the rest of them.  He grabs Michael’s hand, pointing excitedly at a lantern floating towards them.  Luke lets his hand brush it, pushing it up towards the sky, smiling softly. 

Michael finds his eyes drawn to Luke, who’s leaning over the edge of the boat, illuminated in candlelight.  His hair practically glows in the warm light, eyes and face lit up with a smile.  Michael’s heart aches suddenly from the want that fills it.  Luke looks like the sun, bright and shining, glowing from within.  Michael knows about the magical whatever that Luke’s hair has with the glowing, but in this moment, Michael thinks that the glowing is just Luke.  Luke is bright and shining from within and Michael is hit with this overwhelming feeling of. Love. 

“Luke,” Michael whispers, tugging on Luke’s hand until Luke turns his face towards Michael.  His eyes are sparkling and there’s another curl falling into his eyes.  Michael, at a loss for what to say, gently brushes the curl from Luke’s face and tucks it behind his ear.  There’s a beat where Michael gazes into Luke’s eyes before he tugs Luke’s face forward with both hands and kisses him. Luke makes a noise of surprise before melting softly into the kiss.

Luke’s lips are warm and soft. Michael can feel Luke smiling against his lips.  He feels warm, basking here in Luke’s sunshine, pulling back from Luke to catch his breath, cradling Luke’s face in his palms.

Luke’s quiet for a moment, eyes closed and lips parted as he catches his breath.  Luke giggles and leans forward, burying his face into Michael’s neck.  He glances up at Michael through his lashes, smiling softly.  

“Hey Mikey.”

“Yeah Sunshine?”

“I think I found my new dream.”

Michael grins, feigning ignorance at Luke’s statement. “Oh really? What could that be?” 

Luke huffs, smacking Michael in the chest. “Michael!”

  “Okay okay Princess jeez. Yes, Luke I want to explore the world with you too. God, you make me do all the hard work in this relationship.” Michael rolls his eyes, but he pulls Luke in close to his chest in a hug. 

Luke snuggles in close to Michael, letting his eyes fall shut and smiling softly.  “Good because otherwise I’d have to send Petunia and Maximus after you.”

A laugh startles it’s way out of Michael and he leans down, kissing the top of Luke’s head.  In this moment, with the lanterns lighting up the sky and Luke basking in the warm glow, Michael decides that maybe he has a new dream too.

[aylinaliens]

I am officially caught up on Oxygen and I started it yesterday, so that’s a new record. I’m so freaking obsessed! And, I’d love some recs because I need more to watch. My first step into the world of Bls came from My Engineer which was brilliant and frustrating, but I loved it. Now, I’m just looking for more and more and more, and this started in July 😂. I’d love some recs and to pop in randomly to chat about the bls if you’d be up for it because they all kill me ~♉️

Sorry for the delayed response but I wanted to take some time to compile a list of recs for you. I tried to mainly rec ones that are mainly available on YouTube, Viki, Line TV, and Netflix but if you need help finding links to watch them let me know!

I highly recommend these (based on the previous ones you’ve seen or ones that I personally loved):

Cherry Magic: This is a Japanese BL that’s currently airing but it’s so good and easily my favorite of the year. It has a wacky premise but it’s very heartwarming, realistic, and soft.

Like In The Movies (aka Gaya Sa Pelikula): This recently ended like a week ago but it was a masterpiece. GSP accurately depicts the struggle of being the LGBTQ+ community and is just generally really well made in terms of the script, cinematography, and OST. There were quite a few BL’s from Philippines released this year but IMO this was the best.

He’s Coming to Me: Incredibly underrated which sucks because it’s really good. The premise is very unique and it’s another accurate depiction of the struggles that LGBTQ+ individuals have to go through. This is pretty angsty but hilarious/heartwarming/adorable at the same time.

Theory of Love: People either absolutely adore TOL or absolutely despise TOL. I personally adored it because I’m a big fan of angst, flawed characters (oh boy were they flawed), and OffGun so it’s one of my favorites. But fair warning the characters are frustrating. So frustrating that you’ll probably want to reach through the screen to smack them but if you hang on till the end it’s worth it. Plus they just released a special episode like a month ago and it really improved any issues I had with TOL.

The Untamed: this is technically labeled as being a ‘bromance’ because of China’s censorship laws but like...it’s extremely obvious that the two ML’s are more than just platonic bros. In the book it’s based on they were together romantically and the drama does a good job of expressing the love they share with subtle (and not so subtle) looks, dialogue, cinematography, touches, and music. The Untamed is very long and at times confusing but 100% worth it.

History 3 Trapped: This was my first introduction to BL and it spoiled all other ones for me. It’s about a gangster and a police officer who go from enemies to lovers. The plot is messy but the chemistry between the leads + second leads makes up for that.

Where Your Eyes Linger: This is a Korean BL and almost everyone I talked to ended up loving this. Sadly this is really short (only 8 episodes that are 10 minutes long) but it’s worth it. It’s about two childhood friends—one of them is the son of a wealthy family and the other is his bodyguard. It handles the friends to lovers excellently and plus the leads have a ton of chemistry.

Mr. Heart: Another Korean BL that was produced by the same company that did WYEL. It’s also short but it’s fluffy and adorable which is a big shift tone from WYEL but I loved both equally.

Life Love On The Line: Another Japanese BL! It came out this year and I feel like it’s really underrated. It’s based on a short manga so the length of the series isn’t that long (4 ep that are 20-30 min long) but it still manages to effectively tell a beautiful love story.

Kinou Nani Tabeta? (What Did You Eat Yesterday): I’m only on episode 1 but...woah. People need to stop sleeping on this. It’s a slice of life drama centered around two men in their forties who are already together. It’s wholesome, soft, and makes me feel all warm inside. Please give this a chance okay?

I Told Sunset About You: I haven’t finished this yet but it’s honestly a masterpiece. The cinematography...the OST...the acting...the script...I’m in complete awe of the whole thing.

Gameboys: Another wonderful PINOY BL! It’s set during this year when the pandemic is going on and it was really good—so good that it got a GL spin off (Pearl Next Door, I highly rec this too even if it’s not BL) and a season 2 which comes out next year.

Hello Stranger: Honestly the Philippines are thriving this year because this was another stellar BL! It’s kind of like Gameboys in how almost the whole drama is filmed over video chat/social media but it was very cute. I believe Hello Stranger is also releasing a movie next year.

Ingredients: This is literally just a very long supermarket ad that’s been going on for 8 months now but it’s adorable. It’s a very low stakes fluffy BL where nothing happens plot wise yet you can’t put it down. Plus...they were roommates ;)

Sotus/Sotus S: not one of my favorites but it’s one of the OG bl’s for a reason. So many people loved the first season but didn’t care for the second (but it was the complete opposite for me). This is kind of the one of the most quintessential Thai BLs out there so feel free to give it a try.

History 2 Right or Wrong: Bls rarely center around mature individuals let alone parents so when I found out the premise of this I was sold. Its only 4 episodes so it’s not the most fleshed out thing ever made but it was incredibly adorable, fluffy, and as honest as they can to address LGBTQ+ parenting. Basically it’s about this college student who ends up as a babysitter for his professor (yeah okay that premise is not for everyone so just be aware if you don’t like that kind of thing) and they fall in love. The whole thing is so fluffy and heartwarming!

Ossan’s Love: This is a Japanese BL about this thirty year old office worker who finds himself in a weird love triangle between his married boss and roommate. I know it sounds like a mess and trust me it definitely is but it’s hilarious. It was a wild ride start to finish but I loved (and hated) every second of it.

Diary of Tootsies: Okay this isn’t a typical BL I guess but it’s about three gay men + their lesbian best friend so you know what? I’m including it on this list. It’s hilariously dumb yet also addresses serious topics like homophobia/sexually transmitted diseases. It’s underrated and I’m so sad about it because it’s genuinely a delight to watch.

YYY the Series: do you know those crack videos on YouTube full of memes and references? Yeah. That’s basically YYY summed up. The whole thing makes zero sense because of how chaotic it is but despite how it’s constantly makes everyone ???? it also has a TON of heart. It’s so dumb but it had me reflecting on my life all the time. I really rec this not just because of how hilarious it is but also because it breaks the mold of other BLs! Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t have a comedic show and talk about consent and how important healthy communication is in relationships because YYY does it perfectly and so much more.

Dark Blue Kiss: I didn’t love this but you might. It’s a sequel/spin off to like two other series (Kiss Me & Kiss Me Again) but you don’t have to watch the others to understand this. Just know that the leads have been dating awhile before the start of the series.

Great Men Academy: People debate if this is a real BL because the main character is a girl who can transform into a boy but I think it still counts. I really enjoyed this and thought the whole cast had a ton of chemistry between them—it was sweet, funny, and had the right amount of angst.

HIS: this is a Japanese movie (I know you said dramas but I enjoyed this so I figured I would include it too). It’s beautiful, angsty, and sweet. There’s a prequel series this is based on but you don’t have to watch it to understand what’s going on.

I have way more recommendations but I figured I would stop there. Hopefully if you give these a go you enjoy this and my asks are always open if you ever want to talk about BL :)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #304

“she’s got a hold on me  /  maybe she is just what they want me to be”

How many foreign friends do you have? Only one that I know of that actually immigrated into America in their life. I think. In which countries do they live? She was born in Asia, either China or Japan. What was your dream birthday party as a kid? I either wanted to go to the skating rink or Chuck E. Cheese. Have you ever come up with your own game? As a kid, definitely. Whose hand did you hold last? Probably my niece's or nephew's if they were taking me somewhere. What was the last thing you planted? Habaneros, I think. Do you have a green thumb or are you all thumbs with plants? I don't really try with plants because I'm not interested in the maintenance. What or who was the last thing you gossiped about? Does telling your therapist about another person and what they do to stress you out count? lol Any books on your night stand? Wings of Fire: The Brightest Night. Would you ever consider going vegetarian? I was briefly one, but I had to introduce meat back into my diet because I just hate too many foods needed to keep me healthy without meat. I would love love LOVE to go vegan, but I just can't. When's the last time you helped a senior citizen somehow? Probably holding open a door for someone in a wheelchair. What's the most selfless act you have done? I don't know... Maybe letting my mother use all my Christmas and birthday money (which was a lot) to take care of bills to keep us from being evicted and losing the car. She was going to pay me back, but then cancer happened. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? No. What makes you feel lucky? The fact I have a roof over my head, food on the table, access to water... That kind of stuff. Never take it for granted. How many Lidls are there in your town? One. Last time you went to Ikea, what did you buy? I don't believe we've ever bought anything from there? But I wouldn't really know. How do you like your favorite beverage? Really cold in a can, heeeeell yeah. What's your big family secret? We don't really have one. What did you think you were good at, until you saw someone else do it? I remember thinking I was the "gifted" artist in school until I met my acquaintance Cailin in the 5th grade, lol. She is SO talented. What is something nice going on in your life right now? My partial hospitalization program is going well. I'm getting more comfortable with talking via things like Zoom, it's a good opportunity for me to socialize with like-minded people almost every day, and I ADORE one of the teachers so much so that I want him to be my normal therapist. I have never in the entirety of my life felt less judged and more cared for from any therapist before him, and it's almost supernatural how easily this man reads people. You could twitch a certain way and he picks it up. I'm ready for him to teach more of the sessions. What was the pinnacle of wealth to you as a child? The idea of owning one of those toy crane machines, haha. If I saw one in a store, I would like beeeeg for it. I remember I cried once when I came across one I adored, it was just too expensive, lol. I did eventually get a little one, I think. What's something that you hate, but can't live without? My meds. What skill do you not talk about, because you feel it sounds like bragging? I don't really brag about anything I think I'm good at because I feel bad about it and don't wanna emit a "better than you" vibe. Who's the worst person you've encountered on the Internet? Ahhh, a lovely "friend" nicknamed Shakes. God she hated me. If death wasn't a consequence, what would you try? Probably ride a motorcycle. I'm too scared to risk the possibility of crashing, and those wrecks are nasty. What's the dumbest thing you've heard someone say? There's this one video of a TV show host thinking the moon was a planet and it was just- What is the worst smell you can remember? This smell was forever branded into my memory as if it was fuckin trauma. When my late dog Teddy had a massive, infected cyst near his ~you know~ and also wore diapers because of incontinence with his age (also keep in mind he had a UTI we couldn't afford to fix, and that smells bad enough), changing the diaper he would wear overnight could, swear to God, be enough to make you puke. It literally came to a point that I personally could no longer do it. It sounds so so bad and selfish, and it probably is, but Mom had to do it before she left and came home from work; she's way less fazed by stuff like that than me. Yes, when we had the money, we got the cyst removed. What song gets better the louder it gets? Only like, every song I enjoy. The louder the better until it becomes obnoxious to others. What's the biggest inconvenience that does NOT ruin your day? Having to pee at like an unnatural frequency? haha What's something everybody should know how to do? Cook... which I don't know how to do. What is a great movie no one knows about? I'unno. I don't really know the success level of most movies unless you see stuff about it everywhere. What type of person could the world use less of? Rapists, pedophiles, monsters like that. What makes you tingle? I have this odd reaction to rubbing my hand while someone is holding it???? idk why????? What’s the best Wi-Fi name you’ve seen? Oh MAN, I wish I could remember 'em all. I've seen some goodies. What's easy to learn, but hard to master? God, it's pathetic that my immediate response is related to a video game, haha. Then again it's such a common idea that it's basically a meme in the World of Warcraft community. So, playing hunters in the game. They're argued to be one of the - if not the - easiest classes in the game that requires little to no skill, while as a hunter main, I disagree with the second part firmly. I don't know about the other specializations because I don't play them, but at least in beast mastery, it takes focus and thinking ahead to master your rotation for optimal damage and just to generally be a skilled player of the class. Not to mention you need to watch your pet(s), too. What's something you've changed your opinion on? Wow, LOTS. Tons of political ideas, like my stance on gay rights, transgender folks, etc... If you had a refilling bowl, what would you want it to contain? For some reason my mind immediately jumped to fresh strawberries. I'm picky with the firmness of fruit, so I won't eat them if they're older because ew. If your bedroom had three portals to anywhere, where would they lead? I mean this in the least creepy way possible, but Sara's house so we could actually hang out, Dad's house so I could see him more, and then uhhh South Africa to regularly see meerkitties. You can ask any author one question about their story. What do you ask? Oh, I dunno. I've got some for writers of other media, but I guess by "author," you mean this is for books exclusively. If you have caffeine late in the day, does it cause you to struggle with your sleep? Shit, I wouldn't even know because I essentially always have caffeine in my system. I don't believe it affects me. When you struggle to sleep, what do you do instead? Keep trying to sleep, or more common than not, I do exactly what you shouldn't do and get back on the laptop for a while. Who was the last person you spoke to for the first time? How did you come to speak to this person? My most recent therapist in the PHP. I love love love him. The therapists rotate the days they teach, and he was the last one I met. Are there any TV shows from your childhood that you still watch today? I'm not opposed to it if I actually watched television. Do you enjoy buying gifts for other people, or do you never know what to buy them? If I actually have the money to, omg yes. I honestly do think I create or buy very thoughtful gifts, and I just really enjoy reminding other people that I love and think about them. Who were you with the last time you went out for a meal? My sisters, Mom, and I went to the Cheesecake Factory for my birthday dinner. That place has come to oust Olive Garden as my favorite restaurant, haha. What’s the last thing you watched on TV? Is this a programme you watch regularly? I believe it was this amateur cooking show called Nailed It!, I think it was, with my mom when I sat in the living room with her for dinner one night. Do you have a favorite documentary subject (eg. nature, celebrities, history, crime)? Absolutely animals. Does having to wear a mask stop you from doing anything, just because you dislike them or find them uncomfortable? Do not fucking talk to me if you're anti-mask. If I set foot in public, I'm wearing a mask like a goddamn considerate human being. Do you prefer zip-up or overhead hoodies? Overhead. I really dislike the appearance of zippers on them. If you have a yard or garden, how much time do you spend out there? N/A When was the last time someone bought you flowers? What was the occasion? I think it was the first time Tyler came to my house. This was quite a few years ago. When was the last time you stayed overnight away from home? Was this with friends, family or in a hotel somewhere? What was the occasion? Hell, I'm pretty sure I haven't slept over anywhere since the last time I was visiting Sara, which was like, two years ago. What’s your favorite period to learn about in history? What got you interested in this particular era? The Renaissance; I always found it to be an attractive subject, art being in its "glory days" and all. My Art History course in college really hooked me in. What is the smallest thing you lose your temper over instantly? Homophobic bullshit. What's a job that doesn't get enough respect? As others have said before me, teachers might just top the list. The shit they gotta put up with for so little pay... What did you take for granted until you visited another country? I've never left America, so I wouldn't know. Who is your favorite scientist and why? I don't have a favorite; I don't know nearly enough about any. Do you prefer emoticons or emoji? I'm from the emoticons era, so I'm biased, haha. How did you meet your pet? Roman was the kitten of one of my sister's mother-in-law's females. They have quite a cat problem and wanted to adopt the kittens out, and Mom knew I desperately wanted a cat, so there we go. One day when we were over there, she showed me the kittens, and Roman caught my eye instantly with his beautiful blue eyes. Venus, I "met" via the Morph Market, a reptile hub website for selling, as the name implies, reptiles that are generally morphs of their species. I was clicking through the genes, keeping my price ceiling in mind, and really fell in love with champagnes, and I thought Venus in specific was just absolutely beautiful. I officially met her as a little thing mailed to me, and she was and still is just the sweetest. I wanna point out that when I chose Venus, I hadn't the slightest idea that champagnes harbored "the spider gene," as otherwise I would have avoided adopting her and feeding the market. Regardless, I love her to death and wouldn't trade her out. Did/Do you have any PEZ dispensers? I did as a kiddo, yeah. Do you enjoy erotic stories? If so, do you read them or write them? No; they make me really uncomfortable. When writing RP, some scenes can get sexual, but I have my limits for sure and know when to stop writing and just time-skip. If you had to choose, which one would you rather have: a pet or a baby? Keep the baby away from me. Gimme a plains hognose or tarantula, please. ^Why did you choose the one you chose? I don't want kids at all but would love the mentioned animals as pets. Do you live with your parents or on your own/with a partner? I live with my mother. What's the car of your dreams? I don't have a "dream car." Have you ever witnessed something or someone die? Animals, yes. Has anyone ever told you that you snore or talk in your sleep? I don't snore, but I talk a LOT. Do you have any houseplants? No. Are you more on a laptop or a desktop computer? I only have a laptop, and I prefer them for portability's sake. If you could do absolutely anything, what would you like to do the most? Entirely leave behind my anxiety, probably. Or PTSD. Do you think your parents raised you well? Yeah. Dad didn't really take much part in "raising" us/enforcing rules and stuff, but hey, my sisters and I wound up being good people. Do you have a Facebook? Yeah. Do you know any of your neighbors? Definitely not well. We haven't lived here long at all. Does/did any of your relatives have an interesting, nowadays unusual job? I'm sure somebody does. Have you met your ideal partner yet? I think so. Have you had a serious relationship yet? If so, how many? Yeah, two. Do you enjoy books, magazines or comic books the most? Books. Are your parents old-fashioned or up-to-date about certain things? Dad is more old-fashioned I think, while Mom is pretty up-to-date. Do you or did you at some point keep a diary? I very briefly did on a few occasions. I always had a journal I wrote in during all my hospital stays. Have you ever upcycled trash into useful items? I remember I once followed this craft idea on Animal Planet where you turn a milk jug into a bird house. We never got any birds in it, though. Which color Skittle do you like best? The only right answer is red. What’s your favorite element? Of the classic four, fire. If you had your own radio show, what would it be like? YIKES, I don't want one. Don't make me talk in front of (through a radio or not) people. What has been the biggest surprise you’ve ever gotten? An "impossible" breakup over Facebook Messenger lmaoooo. Is there a holiday you can’t stand at all? There aren't any that I "can't stand," but I do hold at least some degree of dislike of ones bastardized by religion. It's disrespectful as fuck. Who is your favorite person in the whole world? My mom. Has there ever been an activity you became obsessed with? I was definitely obsessed with RPing in my early teens. Like, I ALWAYS wanted to be writing it. What has been the strangest place you ran into someone from your past? I can't think of an occurance. What is something people tend to come to you about? Anything related to English and grammar. If applicable, what's the furthest you've traveled because of a hobby? For purely a hobby, definitely not very far, partially because I can't drive or afford travelling via plane or whatever. Do you have souvenirs from other countries? If so, what and from where? N/A What do you do when someone is talking to you about something you don't care about? Pretend to be interested to avoid being rude. Do you have Photoshop installed on your computer? Yeah. Do you put lotion on after you get out of the shower? No, but I need to. Has anyone ever given you a promise ring? No. Do you have any bruises on you? Yeah, on my shin. When getting in Ash's van the other day, I hit it against the thing that helps you step up into the vehicle. Because of my muscle atrophy, I, and I am not kidding, can barely manage to absolutely yank myself up there. And mind you, her van isn't even very high up at all. My legs are just that damn weak. Any changes in appearance lately? Gaining weight is fucking lovely. Who was the last person to call you babe or baby? Probably a gal friend commenting on a selfie or something on Facebook. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Sometimes. Do you actually care about other's problems? Probably too much for my own good. Have you ever gotten a teddy bear from someone? Besides my mom, I don't think so.

[gay-slabies]

mod & character introductions!!

Hello, and welcome to our Countryhuman’s Ask Blog! This blog is one in which the mods (and there are eight of us) each have certain characters who we will write and draw for, meaning that asks geared towards certain characters will also be geared towards certain mods! The vague plot is that the characters all live together in one big house and just sort of vibe... This isn’t supposed to get too serious, y’know! 

Below the cut are everyone’s intros! Make sure to read them, because we all worked hard to get this blog up and running and we would like to be able to meet you all! The nicknames come from our Discord server, by the way, in case you were wondering about the oddity. 

The blog also only follows any of the mods who have a Tumblr, so check the Following list if you want to talk with us one-on-one!!

hi im cursed and im the person who cant draw for shit because i hvae to laptop with mousepad. Well ma'am, the lab results came back and This is hard to say but Your son tested highly on our simp scale Oh goodness gracious But doctor, what does it even mean to be a simp? Well son, allow me to explain- (Nacho: Cursed has America, Mexico, and Australia)

Hey, I’m Mango! As listed in the description, my pronouns are she/her. My acc is @strangled-mangoes if you have any personal questions :). The countries I’m doing are Estonia and Spain. Estonia is very chaotic,, shorts in the snow, crocs with socks... you know that guy I’m talking about. The “It’s not even that cold” guy,, him. (The poison. The poison for kuzco. The poison chosen especially to kill kuzco. Kuzco’s poison). Now Spain... he’s a little different. Okay, a lot different. He’s basically an ex-homophobe turned gay and is now protesting for trans rights. Sorry if that’s a little confusing, I’m bad at summarizing things haha

Hello!! I’m Moderator Nacho, the father of these hellchildren! I am Exe’s husband, but don’t let father and husband disallude you- I am biologically and mentally female uwu. Yes I use uwu. Call me a furry all you want. Your words are like bites from a baby that hasn’t grown teeth yet. Disgusting and harmless. ANYWHO, I am one who tends to go off on a tangent, but can still structure out a plot, as well as being more than willing to give people Big Answers to their asks!!!! Also... apparently I apologize too much. Besides all of that, the countries I will be answering asks for are as follows: Lithuania, The United Arab Emirates, China, Northern Native America, and Russia. If I misrepresent a country in a way you don’t agree with, then feel free to tell me! I will gladly listen and take what you say into account, especially if you are ethnically or religiously knowledgable on the country. My Lithuania... is a bit of a bitch, plain and simple, but it’s kinda valid, since he is Very Old. My UAE is a difficult bow to unravel- He’s very bigoted towards anything LGBT+, but Something happens to change that :). My China is non-binary and like 4000 years old... He’ll fuck anything that moves if he can convince it into bed, but he is also very formal and polite when he wants to be. My Native America is actually just the northern half, and she is... chaotic, to say the least. My Russia? Himbo. That’s all I need to say. He’s the very definition of a himbo. Look up himbo in the dictionary and it’s just a page full of pictures of Russia.

Hi yes hello, I'm Satan, and I say trans rights. I'm the only irish lad with these lads, and you already know my pronouns, they/them. I'll be doing Russian Empire and The Soviet Union, R.E has much inner homophobia, and Sov tries (and fails) to be badass. You cant run from being fluffy. And I'm also ace, and into girls uwu.(my least favourite skittle is purple)

Greetings all, I’m Mod Exe. You could also just go to call me the German-Soviet, young kinda boomer mother of like; 15 kids with a cat and a she/her husband. My pronouns are they/them with the occasional she/her mixed in. I’m tryna figure stuff out. I’m one out of three European Mods (Mod Satan and Mod Corn)! I might misspell stuff because out of all these freaks here, I’m the only one whose first language is not English. I apologize in advance. The countries I will doodle and answer asks from are West Germany, Third Reich, German Empire (Second Reich) and The Weimar Republic. My headcanons for them might be weird but hey, isn’t that literally all of us? That’s all I wanted to say already! Sincerely, Exe.

Hehejehehhehe Mod Void here! I’m your local otaku who knows absolutely almost nothing about the outside world, and is also Canasain. I draw a lot, and if you want to check out my underdeveloped and only just started ‘art’ blog, it’s @bluevoid27 . As stated in the description, She/Her pronouns! I’m also in charge of these beans: Antarctica, Greenland, Canada, Philippines, and Martial. My take on these characters may be a bit different from the most popular versions. Antarctica is still bean, but is presumably hiding a less pure version. Greenland is well, kind of overprotective of Antarctica, but is still a nice child who’s also NB. Canada is probably the one who’s been altered the most, let me tell ya, in Canada, we aren’t as nice as the stereotypes, so this version is a bit more reckless, still loves syrup, and has some sort of trouble showing he’s sorry (wow what a surprise!). Philippines is your classic Pinoy, karaoke master, hopeless jokester, and just a carefree dude in general. Martial is your angry Pinoy, with threats like “Gusto mo palo?” while holding up a sandal. He still resembles somewhat of his brother, but is way more aggressive and rough on the edges. Salutations, I’m Moderator Discord (no, not MLP, but the actual Apphuman)! As stated in the description, my pronouns are they/them/she/her (although I prefer they/them the majority of the time). I know way too many memes and vines for my own good, and I also have rather unusual headcanons! My account is @statehumans-maryland in case you have any personal questions, and the Countryhumans I will be doing are East Germany, South Korea, and Poland! • East Germany is a soft boi who loves his sister, West Germany, and h̶a̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶i̶g̶ ̶f̶a̶t̶ ̶c̶r̶u̶s̶h̶ ̶o̶n̶ likes his best friend, Poland! He is basically one of the most innocent and wholesome people you will find on this planet — plus, he’s a farmer’s boy, so that’s neat! • South Korea is someone who is rather worn down from the shenanigans with his brother (North Korea) causing all sorts of trouble and not exactly having the relationship with him, but he’s overall a very cheerful person (though he does well at concealing his inner turmoil) who is generally friendly with others and more than willing to take responsibility for his brother’s actions, as well as deal with the consequences for such actions (even though it’s very unjustified and unnecessary). He also has a polyamorous relationship with Martial Law and Japan. • Poland is the epitome of a gentleman and will never hesitate to correct himself should he make the slightest of what he perceives as “mistakes” in his mannerisms (though he’s very slowly slipping out of it because c’mon, this is 2020, ain’t nobody got time for formalities). Overall, he is a very good friend to have, has a fair bit of anxiety, and h̶a̶s̶ ̶d̶e̶e̶p̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶i̶n̶g̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶b̶e̶s̶t̶ ̶f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶ is very close friends with East Germany.

Mod Corn is currently busy, but has given us permission to add their intro later, so look for that!

[a-flickering-soul]

ONE (1) ASK

LAZARUS I LOVE YOU YOU’RE A MAGNIFICENT ENABLER

FIRST OFF. LET ME GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY. READ BLUTRUNST. JUST DO IT. TRUST ME.

If you don’t trust me (both wise and fair), let me elucidate for you why Blutrunst by IncurableNecromantic was and is a formative read for me, something I come back to on a semi-annual basis, and one of the best things I firmly believe I have ever read.

First, the basics: Blutrunst is a fic based on the cartoon mini-series Over the Garden Wall (although I would argue it can be read without prior knowledge of the series). It substitutes in human variants of multiple non-human characters (most notably, the Beast and Enoch) and placing the cast in what has fondly been dubbed a “Neighborhood AU”. The central ship is, of course, the twin characters of the Beast (given the incredible name of Herod Bethlehem in this universe) and Enoch, with a lovely and criminally slept-on helping of Beatrice/Lorna on the side. The whole thing clocks in at about 166K words (a chunky read!), and there are multiple little oneshots separate from the main work (can be found both on Ao3 and the author’s Tumblr). Note that there are quite a few trigger warnings–quite a bit of gore, cannibalism, and body horror abound throughout the entire work, although I would say none of it is gratuitous and it is written beautifully.

The main gist of the story: Enoch Barnes, the well-loved mayor of the small town of Pottsfield, recently rediscovered an old friend of his–Herod Bethlehem (fondly called Beast by his friends), the incredibly gifted opera singer who had disappeared from the public eye many years ago, with no explanation. When they meet again over dinner, he finds his friend inexplicably and intriguingly changed–and for the better? More dinners are required to find out. Why the decrepit, yet somehow still well-cared-for house? Why his isolation, and where have his adoring fans gone? And most pressingly, why is his face now constantly covered with a mask, his neck with a draping scarf, and his hands gloved and terribly gaunt? These answers, and more, lie ahead–in dinner conversation over impeccably cooked, unidentifiable meat, in walks through graveyards, in basements lit by a single lightbulb flickering over meat hooks and knives.

Now: let me tell you why I like this story so much.

The way the author slowly and deftly weaves an atmosphere tingling with not simply horror but lust and romance and bubbling tension of every kind is nothing less than masterful and should be savored as one does a fine glass of wine (or for my non-alcoholic friends, maybe a fancy cup of coffee or tea, swirling the mouthful around the palate and letting it coat every part of your mouth). The romantic and sexual tension that builds is impeccable. Reader: there is a hand-kissing scene and it is terrible and romantic and twisted in its tension, and it put me on the floor.

The way both Enoch and Herod are neither of them good people–in fact, I would argue that there are no good people in this story, simply people and monsters and the lines that blur between the two–and how they slowly begin to find that where one lacks, the other has, and vice versa, touches something inside of me and soothes it. Herod’s character, especially, speaks to me–he has spent so long alone that he had turned inward and began devouring himself. He is so determined to find himself unlovable and twisted and terrible beyond love that when he is offered that love with an open hand, he shies away and snaps his teeth and refuses to allow himself the luxury of being loved for who he is. It’s such a unique and beautiful perspective to give to a character, and it makes that final kiss after the slow burn the most beautiful and incredible release of tension.

Another reason I adore Blutrunst is its unflinching depiction of monstrously human experiences. As you may have surmised from both the tags on the work itself and little bits and pieces throughout this review, there’s cannibalism. There’s a lot of it. There is something monstrous, of course, in eating your own kind, and the author does not shy away from the gory bloody details of how one must obtain that specific kind of meat. However, there is something intensely and painfully human as well–cannibalism for the sake of cannibalism is monstrous, but elevating that terrible meat, simmering it in beef stock, plating it beautifully and eating it off of fine china and antique silver–that is human. Finding beauty and love in what you eat and making it terribly, indisputably art–that is something irrefutably human.

That’s, as far as I can tell, the big reasons why i love Blutrunst. Let me give you a quick bulleted list of small things I like.

There is an excellent dog named Turtle and he is ugly and enormous and a Very Good Boy

The citizens of Pottsfield are perfect and darling and gossipy

Isolde Nymbostratus. You, the Reader, presumably do not know who she is yet, but if you should choose to read Blutrunst you will understand. Isolde is a force unto herself and if I die with a fraction of her power and energy I will die happy.

Lesbians. Very good and cute and valid lesbians. Soft punk/nerd solidarity.

Leprosy. Most likely this is a “just me” kind of thing, but I love this disease, I think it’s absolutely fascinating, and I liked how it was depicted here, not to mention it’s absolutely chock-full of symbolism and meaning.

Probably another “just me” thing but there’s a Blutrunst AU (an AU of an AU, yes, but bear with me) that’s lesbians and I don’t know if you know me but lesbian cannibals is like. Literally all I’ve ever wanted in life.

Absolutely sumptuous descriptions of food. Like it’s obscene. Every single thing eaten in this fic makes me crazy.

There’s a really good essay comparing Blutrunst to Saturn Devouring His Son that also completely nails everything I feel about the juxtaposition of the monstrous and the human and it super slaps

Literally just every other thing that happens is the definition of high romance. A sub-list:

Aforementioned hand-kissing scene

There’s so much flirtatious banter. Half of it flies over the other person’s head because these two are idiots sometimes. It’s incredible.

Kissing under the streetlight

Killing someone because they Dare to look at the other person and Presume to be worthy of their presence

Literally and figuratively, the mortifying ordeal of being known and seen

If any of this doesn’t have you sold, I am finishing off this review with some personally-made hand-curated top-notch Blutrunst memes made by yours truly, so you might understand the incredible blend of emotions I feel embarking on every single reread of this fic.

In conclusion. Read Blutrunst. Read it. Read it then come back into my inbox and scream with me about it. Let me be the gay cannibal evangelist I have always wanted to be.

[artemissarrows]

Cue the 镇魂 Guardian Screaming

Whelp, this happened. A little over 2 weeks ago, the lovely Mx. Arrows said, “hey, someone on Dreamwidth recommended this Chinese drama Guardian. Sounded like it might be your kind of thing, want to check it out?”

I then proceeded to be that asshat who watches a TV show without their partner even though I said I wouldn’t, and spent the ENTIRE 3-day weekend I was sick finishing up the show. When it ended, I UGLY-CRIED FOR 10 MINUTES STRAIGHT, I hated the ending. 😠

Uh, so I have some reacts. I also started reading the translated novel on Wattpad too, so definitely planning to make some memes from funny parts of the novel that weren’t in the show, so more there too!  If you haven’t seen the show yet, there’s a wonderful snarky summary I just reblogged from @lazulisong. Lots to say, here’s the cut.

Many folx have pointed this out before, but certainly this show has A TON OF problems. The CG is terrible (although I find that adorable/unintentionally funny in a lot of cases). Macguffins are a stupid plot device (although I guess I should blame the book for that one). Especially toward the end, the show really loses the thread of the plot, like what is even happening. Their extras budget is also comically low, do only 10 people live in Dragon City?? (I’ve since learned that they lost a lot of their funding part-way through filming, which is why the OST is amazing and the CG is soooo bad.) And Ze Yun The Evil Twin(k)™ is not the most compelling villain I’ve ever encountered. 

But I literally do not care because Bai Yu and Zhu Yilong’s acting is so phenomenal and you can just feel the care and love that they have for one another so strongly coming through, all other limitations--CENSORSHIP--aside. It’s just a really beautiful love story about two people who would literally do anything to keep one another safe.

Avenue X did several really amazing explainer videos about Guardian, and having read the novel, she said the following, which sums it up nicely. Their relationship’s not really in the words of the script, with a few glaring exceptions I’ll screenshot and share. But there’s SO MUCH PINING and care that it’s really impossible to read it as anything other than a romantic relationship.

She says: “After reading the book and then going back and watching the drama, I so clearly see that the two actors are actually acting the relationship, the emotional connection, the feelings that the two characters have for each other as the book describes, not as the script has described it.”

Even the Chinese government thinks it’s gay (I think it’s back up now on Youku in China). Which gets me to the elephant in the room: censorship. I really know very little about this, but a friend told me that a lot of censorship happened originally because of some listicles that Mao Zedong originally created. Hence some very strange discrepancies between the book and the show that don’t make a lot of sense otherwise.

Ghosts. The entire web novel revolves around ghosts, the supernatural foes are all ghosts/zombies, and indeed Shen Wei is the Ghost King. But apparently ghosts are a major no-no for the censors. So instead we have the Dixingren/”undergrounders” who came on a spaceship (lol) and then got supermatural powers. Uh, sure?

Religion. In the book, Lin Jing is a “fake monk” who says “Amitabha, forgive me” a lot and then eats some fried chicken. So they turned him into a computer nerd instead, I believe to limit offending anyone’s religious sensibilities. TBH, I like it, TV Lin Jing is such a classic nerd and it’s great.

Lastly but most importantly, the gay. It seems that censorship of LGBTQ media, whether social, film, or otherwise, has gotten much worse of late; there was recently an outcry when Weibo (Chinese Twitter) tried to censor a lesbian hashtag/topic. It’s still there for now, but I guess we’ll see. Uuuuugh. 

This means that in the show, there’s no outward showing of Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan’s relationship; it’s all in the PINING GLANCES and things like an awkward-lean almost-kiss, and some comments that Shitty Cat Da Ching and Techno-Nerd Lin Jing make at various points. (More on those later.)

HERE’S SOME ILLUSTRATIVE GLANCING

SOME DEFINITELY TOTALLY BFF PATCHING UP

AND SITTING WITH YOUR BEST BRO ON A VERY SMALL BENCH

AND A VERY SAD & HAUNTED SHEN WEI WHEN ZHAO ACCIDENTALLY REFERENCES SOMETHING FROM WAY BACK IN THE PAST

I also have to say that there’s a period between episodes 11-14 or something like that, where Zhao Yunlan is all “is he or isn’t he??” about Shen Wei being the Black Cloak Envoy or not (including a dork-tastic drawing of them both.) It’s all very Clark Kent, including the huge glasses...I love it. Anyway, I very much read this as “IS HE OR ISN’T HE GAY,” in significant part because several times when Zhao Yunlan confronted Shen Wei about it, the sexual frustration was radiating off of him in waves. Yessssssss.

The one complaint I have about this show (besides the terrible CG, lose-the-thread plot, etc.) is that it’s also kind of sexist, particularly the characterization of Zhu Hong, one of two female members of SID. For one, she has a mad crush on Zhao Yunlan who is extremely not interested (uh, taken??) and her attempts to express her feelings are portrayed as childish/immature. It’s really not a good look for Zhao or the show. Even though Hong’s a demi-human and half-snake with powers, she’s honestly shown as kind of useless most of the time which is deeply annoying too. Like, let her do something badass ocasionally? And generally, there’s just a lot of men in the show and while I am all for the homosocial stuff, there’s a distinct undercurrent of “this is all men’s work” and the most powerful woman is evil (a demi-human crow).

[famder-news]

More News Monday

Hi everybody!! Welcome back to more news monday, I’m your host Mod Brit! 

Note: At the time of writing this, the new sanders sides episode hasn’t come out yet but please check Thomas’ channel for when it does!

mod: Brit (@romanticsanders) date: monday, June 24th 2019 topic: fandom and thomas updates warnings: discussion of angst, sympathetic deceit

1. Thomas Twitter/General Updates

The new episode of sanders sides is apparently coming out tomorrow so GET HYPED! Apparently this one will be containing a content warning so be advised and take care of yourselves y’all! Anyone have any theories as to what the new episode is gonna be???

Also we haven’t talked about this on the blog yet but last week, youtuber Daniel Howell came out!! Yay!! I saw some supportive tweets from youtubers (including Thomas!) all over Twitter and Instagram and as a long time supporter of Dan, it was really heartwarming <3 congratulations dan!

2. Fandom Updates

Everyone is still really jazzed about pride which is awesome!! And I’ve seen some amazing prinxiety art floating around the fandom tags which has made me (#1 prinxiety shipper) very happy. Also incorrect quote memes are popular as ever and they’re always very amusing to see!

It seems like a lot of people (including our fabulous mod wheat) are getting into good omens which is great! I haven’t watched it but i’ve loved david tennant since the tenth doctor days so i’m sure it’s amazing. Some top notch gay shit I’m here for it. 

Deceit has been getting a lot of love!! He deserves it, our precious snake lizard man. I love him. That’s it for fandom updates!

3. Theory Discussion

Today’s theory is a personal favourite of mine! Pride!Roman! This one is based on @dreamsshadowwashere‘s ficlet about Roman being a secret dark side!! 

Since Thomas introduced Deceit to the Sanders Sides sphere, there’s been a debate about the dark sides. Does every side have a ‘dark’ counterpart? Or are they completely separate entities? And of course with this discussion comes angst and many theories!! 

The pride roman theory based off of the original fic is essentially Roman is a dark side and has been keeping this from the other 3 and only Deceit is the one who knows. 

Now personally, I think this is a refreshing flip from the ‘Virgil being a dark side' theory although that one still holds a special place in my heart! There are of course reasons to dispute this: Such as the end-card scene at the end of the Halloween-Christmas episode in which Deceit pops up in Virgil’s room, as well as Virgil and Deceit’s already quite developed relationship. 

But, I think that Roman is an actor first - right? He would want to keep his secret from the others for as long as he possibly could in fear of rejection (what he stated was his biggest fear in MY TRUE IDENTITY). 

My Opinion:

Well, idk if y’all know this but i’m a GLUTTON for Roman content - any and all of it - so personally I really love this theory! It gives his character a lot of depth and PAIN which i’m obsessed with. What do you guys think though? 

Make sure to go over to @dreamsshadowwashere​‘s blog and check out their original pride!Roman ficlet!!!

4. Other Things That Happened In The World

You may not know this but I’m from Hong Kong and if y’all have been watching any international news lately, you may have noticed that some very serious political protests have been happening over the past couple of weeks. Young and old Hong Kongers are protesting against the government who are trying to pass the extradition bill, a bill which would allow law enforcement in China to seek out and arrest people in Hong Kong for ‘felonies’ - basically taking away our right to free speech and putting all of us in danger.

Without putting a damper on things, I just want to say: I am proud of my people. I am proud of my generation and generations older and smaller who are taking a stand and fighting for what’s right. There were 2 million people at the protest on Sunday (nearly a third of the population!) making sure our voice was heard. All I can say is: 加油香港！

Source: HKFP, my life 

Leave your thoughts in the reblogs and replies! We love reading them <3 if you have any requests for us, pls feel free to drop us a little ask or submission! See y’all next time x

- Mod Brit

[kitty-bandit]

All the numbers for the salty ask meme XD

Anon, you seem to know I’m a Secret Salt Queen. XD

Also, this is ALL for DGM.

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

Honestly? I may hate a few ships, but I can see the appeal of them. Even certain crack ships. Like, just because I don’t find it appealing doesn’t mean I can’t see why others might like it.

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

The only real BRoTP I have in DGM is Allen x Lavi x Krory. I think those three are adorable together in a platonic way.

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

ROFL, YEAH. There have been a couple over the years, and some were (at the time) considered good friends. There is at least one BNF who I no longer associate with because they couldn’t handle my anti-censorship/ship-and-let-ship stance, even though we’d been friends for years. (I’d supported this person emotionally and financially when they were in trouble, and even beta read for them/helped out with fan events/written a fic for them.) When the fandom drama got intense and antis started causing shit, I got more vocal about anti rhetoric not having a place in our fandom. This BNF couldn’t handle it and ‘broke off our friendship’. We haven’t talked in probably 2 years.

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

Whoops yeah. It’s Yullen. XD Though, I’m not so disgusted when I see the ship anymore, and I’ll even reblog art from time to time. But I don’t go out of my way to seek out content.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

ROFL, you mean Yullen again? Yeah. XD I’m trying to get over my hatred, but it’s a slow process.

6, Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

YUP! Fandom actually got me into Lucky and Poker Pair. I was not a fan of Tyki’s for the longest time (mostly because of OLD fandom portrayals of his character), but a few friends wrote some amazing fics with him and converted into a Tyki lover. XD

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

Not really. I’ve certainly lost interest in writing certain ships, but I’ve never really grown to hate any of them.

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?

Hahaha, yeah. Mostly antis being assholes because I don’t cower before them.

I’ve also gotten trolled on my fics on ff.net (one of the various reasons I won’t post there anymore). It was nonsensical sexual harassment, but still. It was gross.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

Chaoji. Need I say more?

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Speaking strictly in terms of the manga (because the anime went off on some ridiculous tangent arcs during hiatuses that I just can’t get into), the Mater Arc. It wasn’t bad per se, just… it didn’t interest me. It’s the first real arc for the manga. When I first read/watched it, I hated Kanda a LOT. (Love him now, though.)

And Allen was… not interesting to me. In the early chapters, he felt so flat and dull. The typical nice shounen main character, y’know? OBVIOUSLY Hoshino threw a 180 on that, and now he’s interesting as hell. But yeah, Mater bored me. XD

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I don’t think so?? Most of the unpopular characters are ones I don’t like either.

13. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

If there is a universally unpopular arc, I’m not aware of it. XD

13. Unpopular opinion about ______ character?

I’ll just choose a character I have an unpopular opinion about:

Lenalee

Whenever I see people who yell about others hating Lenalee, I’m confused. I never see this hate, or if I do, it’s so few and far between that it’s not even worth mentioning.

I think it’s a hold over from years back (DGM is like, 15 years old now) when older fandom channeled their internalized misogyny and projected it onto female characters. I lived those days, when a female characters only ‘got in the way’ of your gay ship. (Likely a visceral response to the blatant homophobia in fandom at the time as well, but that’s another story for another time.)

People defend Lenalee without batting an eye, but really? She’s done some shitty things and she’s a rather selfish character. I love her to bits, but she’s not the perfect angel people like to make her out to be.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

We’re not the perfect fandom everyone thinks we are. Sure, we’re smaller, so problematic people/things crop up less often, but we still have plenty of issues. We’ve got antis, we’ve got homophonia, we’ve got racism. We’re not perfect.

15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

Hallow was good. You’re all just mean. XD

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

MORE LAVI!

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

Hooboy… What would I change…

OKAY–After the Ark Arc, I would’ve had Allen and Lavi interact more. I wanted to see the aftermath of that! Because before they had left China, Lavi and Lenalee thought Allen was DEAD. And Lavi was Not Okay™. They thought that all the way up until the fight in Edo, when he returns. They almost immediately get sucked into the Ark, and everyone starts dropping like flies after that.

And Lavi’s the last one to ‘die’ in the Ark. Allen watched him fall into the abyss with Chaoji. And he s c r e a m e d.

Yet we have no “I thought you were dead”/ “I thought YOU were dead” conversations. There’s no “I’m so happy you’re alive” conversation and I feel CHEATED.

18. Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or bised?

I give absolutely zero fucks about what’s popular to ship.

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

Everyone is a little too Precious™ about Hoshino. I love the woman and all, but some people act like guard dogs if anyone criticizes her on anything whatsoever.

Also, I’m perplexed by this “Don’t share spoilers” mentality lately? What else is fandom for but to share spoilers? People act like sharing the RAWS after the magazine comes out in Japan is somehow tantamount to treason.

Like, bitch. Do you know I’d have to wait 2+ years to see any official translations for the manga? I buy the books when they come out, and since Hoshino writes slow, I depend on our fan-translators to give us something to read before I can get my hands on official merch.

Fan-translations are how small fandoms like us survive when we’re not speaking the official language of the source material. Acting like you’re on a high horse because you buy the Japanese copy, then can’t read it because you have a 3 year old’s grasp of the language, is just dumb.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Laven, IMO. Fite me on it. XD

21. What are your thoughts on crack ships?

LOVE ‘EM!!! I’m so here for crack ships. You have no idea.

22. Popular character you hate?

I don’t think I currently hate any popular characters, but I used to hate Tyki and Kanda quite a bit. I love them now, though.

23. Unpopular character you love?

I don’t really have an unpopular character I love. XD I’m just boring like that.

24. Would you recommend DGM to a friend? Why or why not?

Absolutely. I think it’s an amazing manga.

25. How would you end DGM/Would you change the ending of DGM?

LOL WHAT END???

26. Most shippable character?

ROFL, Lavi. I ship that bitch with everyone. XD

27. Least shippable character?

Tiedoll. I’m sorry, I can only see him as the anime equivalent of Bob Ross, and we all know Bob Ross doesn’t fuck.

✧Salty Ask ✧

[warxiwarxi]

((ok so here’s a general list of openings / adoptables in my characters’ lives bc?? gotta. hmu if you memes are interested in anything,,, and also tell me about similar things for your characters cuz I gotta know....

Naoki -- pls

David -- told me before about a possible neighbor boy who he lowkey loves like a son but is just a little heckin brat. And at this point letting him exist at the same time as Ken seems like a dangerous idea but y’know, what can you do. His fc is Yoshiya Kiryu. tho getting icons for that boy is a dangerous game bc spoilers aren’t too hard to come across,,, but ahem.

Cyrus -- has multiple siblings that are up for grabs. I was sorta considering Riku and Namine as possible faces for some of those siblings, but tbh it’s all free game.

Anya -- will always accept more children, that’s just a fact

The gang -- needs more people in it who aren’t just written by me cuz I die over here. Anyone in the hideout’s more ground-floor group is good, or higher ups that might have relations to Inoue, or maybe some who are up and a little to the side, bc I know Hibiya knows plenty of such gang people who have to just deal with him, and I need things to do with that boy. As for specifics I know of, there was that Suzuki dude.. but anyone could wo r k .

Anyone that can hurt Hamon cough cough

Shuugo-- I guess his ex-wife/Junya’s mom is a person? It doesn’t seem like she’s dead so??

Felix-- I need to rewrite his stuff, but he had a group of friends who are probably still out there somewhere. As of now their fcs are the kids from Kurenai Ouji. I had a post about em I could dig up.

Nami -- she had old friends from that place too, also had posts about them I could find. But they exist. As do any possible characters in her gay crime drama of a life.

Ro -- there’s plenty of possibilities but specifically I have feelings in my gut like she might probably have a little sibling now. feels like a brother. He’s probably no older than like 8-9, pushing it, and I have no idea how he could get into her life from China, but I kinda want it to be a thing anyway

Seiji-- the police dad who needs a team

Kichirou-- got parents who need to be fought and siblings who... exist

Emil-- needs people in his life who aren’t either 5 years old or actively trying to bang him. Coworkers, people from Theo’s school maybe, 90s Russian gang members, whatever

That? new boy I was thinkin about. With Karma Akabane’s face. The protective big sister he mentioned. Or anyone who wants a brat in their life, but ye.

Human!Hamon -- idk there’s a lot of possibilities he’s all alone out there

[elodieunderglass]

For the dashboard osmosis thing...avatar the last airbender?

(This is an ask meme where I try to describe a franchise I’ve never seen based on “dashboard osmosis,” i.e. what I’ve learned of it from fandom.)

Avatar: the last Airbender is an American cartoon series with Japanese-anime-influenced design. It is set in a medieval fantasy world. I have not seen any of the cartoon, but I have seen the ten-minute long “Best of” Rifftrax spoof of the M. Night Shyamalan movie on YouTube. Rifftrax is where the guys who did Mystery Science Theater 3000 create an audio track making fun of a movie, and you play it while watching the movie. I used to really like MST3K as a little kid, but Rifftrax doesn’t age well.

Actually, based on this I think I can talk about Avatar REALLY well. I bet this is going to be such a good Avatar post. Everyone will be really impressed by my knowledge of Avatar. They’ll probably think I’m very good at meta.

There are four nations, that live in harmony until the Fire Nation attacks. See? That right there is Avatar.

The nations are water, which is populated by Inuit(?) inspired character designs; Earth, which is based on China; Air, which is possibly Tibet; and Fire, which I think draws on the aesthetic of India. People born into those nations can have the power to manipulate that element, which is called “bending.” Once in a while someone is reincarnated, like the Dalai Lama, who can bend all four, and they are called the Avatar.

Impressive, huh? Watch this! I can even do the plot and the characters. Hold my beer.

So a smart girl from the Water Nation (Lucy) and her doofy brother (Sokka) are going for your usual amble across a glacier, when they come upon a corpse frozen into the ice. This may sound like any normal Canadian walk to school but in THIS case, when they remove the corpse, it turns out to be AN ALIVE BOY who was somehow frozen alive!!!

He is a small bald boy with a blue arrow on his head. His name is Aang and he is the Avatar. The blue arrow is never explained. In fact, M Night Shyamalan interpreted it as not a bright chalk-blue arrow, but a weird collection of black squiggles in a vague arrow shape. M Night Shyamalan is a coward.

Anyway, the blue arrow may be a brilliant makeup choice to Accentuate Your Best Feature. Aang has enormous eyeballs, so maybe he wants everyone to look at them and thus distract attention from his ears. Or perhaps he feels that he has an oddly shaped chin.

Anyway, he wakes up and starts running about, going “I must go home!” And Lucy and her brother take him to possibly Tibet, or some Himalayan-based aesthetic, please forgive me, I haven’t seen the show. Unfortunately, everyone in possibly-Tibet is dead. It’s entirely possible that they have been dead for ten THOUSAND years. I actually don’t know. They’re all very much dead at this point though.

Oh my god! I bet the Fire Nation did it!

Those bastards!!

And then they have to go… do something else. The General idea is that Aang needs to be trained in bending all of the elements, so they have to go to all of the places. So Lucy organises some kind of Road trip to visit every nation, and I believe Sokka briefly dates the Moon. They meet a visually-impaired small girl in the Earth nation called Toph, and they acquire a flying caterpillar-dog called… Apnea? Like a Great Pyrenees that can float. Which is quite useful because then they can probably fly from place to place instead of walking.

Also, Aang jumps off cliffs with a kite to hold him up. All the time. You can’t stop him. I think Lucy would try, because she’s sensible. “Aang,” she would say, “let me at least tie a piece of string to you. Let me at least reel you in, if you must be a kite - reel you in like some kind of skyfish.” But no, Aang will NOT be tamed, he must ride the thermals - where are the adults in this? Like, I appreciate that he is an airbender and he has Powers to hold him up, but like, he’s also about 9 years old. He doesn’t have all his teeth yet. Lucy must be the most stressed character in the whole fictional universe. I mean if the fate of the current world depended on a 9 year old with a predilection for throwing himself off cliffs with a kite, I would tie a piece of string to him. “No offence, kid, you’re a great kite, but I was kind of hoping to have a future?”

There is also a Cabbages Man and his cabbages, which are frequently overturned.

They are pursued this whole time by a sort of Goth child with a scarred face from the Fire Nation. I feel like I would know his name if I saw it again, but I am reaching for it, and all I am finding is Kylo. I am opening every drawer in the backwater cupboards of my memory and I just find Kylo. Now, the problem here is that I feel (based on some kind of osmosis) that I actually quite like Fire Nation Kylo. I have no idea what he does or sounds like but I feel like I support him. While the brief experience of the Star war Kylo that I got, didn’t so much make my skin crawl as it made my skin bolt, like my skin attempted to launch itself off the sinning meat of my body and fling itself into another room, but it’s anchored all over, so he just made my skin ripple. Like a horse twitching flies. I made a lot of weird faces watching that movie. So I’m going to call this Kylo “Scruffy Dave.” I can’t go any farther with this if his name is Kylo, even if it is, which I’m sure it isn’t.

I don’t know why Scruffy Dave is pursuing a bunch of other children all over Asia. I believe it is to do with “honour,” but he’s like 12. I remember being 12 and horribly conscious of my dignity, sensitive to all kinds of perceived slights, but I don’t think I would pursue the offenders as far as Fantasy Outer Mongolia. Maybe, like, Fantasy Next Town over. So I suspect there’s more plot to it than that. Scruffy Dave-O has an uncle called Uncle Iroh who likes tea. Uncle Iroh is cute, but useless. As the only adult in the show, you’d think he would say things like “Little Scruff, let’s find some fucking chill here. Let’s go on a quest to restore your missing chill.” But no, the cavalcade of fuckups tumbles all over creation, instead, overturning cabbages.

I’m handwaving here. I assume more adventures are involved. Give me back my beer for a sec. I’m going to need both hands free for the handwaving finale.

So Scruffy Davoh and his inadequate babysitter catch up with Lucy’s herd of children and I believe they have some kind of battle, at the end of which, Scruffy Davenport converts to Aang’s side and has a redemption arc! I believe it is a good one.

But there’s a lot of plot after this? So I assume that the new bad guy is the Fire Nation. I think they all team up to attack the Fire Nation.

Oh wait! Aang must be the last airbender because the show is called “Avatar: the last airbender.” Maybe that’s what changed when the Fire Nation attacked. They got rid of all the airbenders. I think airbender would be a good name for a salamander. Like a hellbender crossed with a nice feathery axolotl. But how did the Fire Nation get away with that? Was it 1000 years ago? Why was it ok for them to destabilise an element-based continent like that. How did Aang get in a glacier. I don’t care to find out.

They are all underage children. I think it’s important to stress that they are all underage children, and I am vexed and pained by their unsupervised shenanigans. Why didn’t somebody sort this out earlier.

So that is the plot. Then eventually they all die of old age, and it’s time for Legend of Korra, which is the same show but everyone is an adult and gay, and it’s somehow the 1920s. Korra has basically reinvented bi culture and saved us all, as well as providing us with feudal lord/handmaiden jokes. I haven’t seen that show either, but that’s the gist of it.

Also, I think Lucy’s name might be Katara. But it only just came to me now.

Did I mention, I think Sokka dates the moon? I’m really not clear on this. And I think Toph owns a haunted squirrel. That might be important too.

Here, finish this beer for me, I can’t, I’m still breastfeeding.

I also believe, but cannot cite evidence, that there is no war in Ba Sing Se.

[felicityb-reviews]

Red Velvet “Peak a Boo” MV Review

Hi, my name is Jace (aka Felicity B) and holy shit, I was not fucking prepared this is my review for Peak a Boo!! I’m… Y'all, this song is A Lot™. I’m not gonna lie, I’m still shook, cause Red Velvet DELIVERED. I’m not quite sure I can verbalize my feelings on this release, besides screaming “yes” over and over again, but let’s try.

~The Song~

Peak a Boo is… how you say…

A MOTHER FATHER FUCKING BANGER, BITCH!!!

I been meaning to use this gif for a while now

For a second there, I actually thought SM was gonna have Red Velvet promote a Tropical Pop song in November. But I see they still have some smart folks in their A&R department.

Now if they can find someone as good for EXO, so I can have EXODUS 2.0

Peak a Boo starts out like she’s about to give us “tropical beach, whinin’ in the sand” realness, but she curve balls us. You can still whine yuh waist to Peak a Boo, but at the speed you’re moving, you might as well call it twerking.

Peak a Boo is a straight up gay up?!?!!? club banger. From the second the syncopated beat kicks in, Peak a Boo takes off like a rocket and leaves you burning calories like you’re in a zumba class. The quirky little accents here and there only add to the high energy vibe of Peak a Boo while also giving it its zany feel. Which I really appreciated cause there are bits that would drag without them.

Red Velvet’s vocal delivery in Peak a Boo’s verses is very similar to Pristin’s in We Like; very stream of consciousnesss, like they’re jumping to complete each other’s sandwiches sentences. The prechoruses have longer phrasing, but it’s definitely to build the song up to the chorus, which is more of a drop with the song title sung over it to act as a hook.

But I’m not complaining. I’m shaking my ass.

~The Video~

Firstly, I’d like to take a moment of silence for Kang Seulgi’s hair. I don’t know who cut her hair to look like an ugly ass $5 China Hair Mall wig, but they got my girl all the way fucked up.

Moving on.

Peak a Boo’s video is Russian Roulette Part 2. Idk why these bitches are always trying to kill each other, but it’s quite entertaining. Especially when they’re also trying to kill this white boy.

If I had to describe Peak a Boo briefly, it’d be something like this - Russian Roulette’s more badass, older sister. When put side by side, the two are quite similar; an obscene amounts of cartoon violence, the girls looking like killer androids from a scifi movie, ridiculous choreography. But where Russian Roulette is bright and cutesy, Peak a Boo is dark and sultry. Peak a Boo sees the girls moving on from cartoon hijinx as murder weapons onto knives and crossbows. Peak a Boo even dabbles in witchcraft a little to play mind games with its victim. If SM really wanted to push the envelope, they could have made this a Halloween comeback where the girls are actual witches who need a human sacrifice.

Or something.

~The Choreography~

The choreography for this song is RIDICULOUS. If there was a most improved idol group award at shows like the MAMAs, I’d want every single one of them to give it to Red Velvet, cause the glo up…

Fam, the glo up!!!!

So, I’d like to take this moment to point out that this lovely move…

…isn’t in the routine the girls are performing on music shows. Which I could be mad about if the routine they are performing wasn’t already so awesome. But. Could you imagine it, tho?!?!?! BTS, whom?!?!? Red Velvet has snatched your meme dance wig crown!!!

Red Velvet’s routines are always high energy fun and Peak a Boo is no exception. I was really excited for the live performances because the choreo shots in the video looked great, and I most definitely wasn’t disappointed. Lots of great sections for us uncoordinated folk to show off.

~Overall and Final Thoughts~

I’m really happy with Red Velvet, you guys. Like, insanely happy and proud of their journey. I really hope that five/ten years from now, they look back at 2017 as the year they really blossomed. Cause they did. They have this fire in them that they didn’t have before, and I can’t fucking wait for what’s next.

There’s not a thing left for me to say, fam. This song is bonkers, the choreography is amazing, and this video will be talked about for ages. Perfect Velvet dropped this morning (I wrote the majority of this review the morning of November 17), but I cannot wait for their next comeback.

Maybe SM will finally end the embargo on their Velvet comebacks…

[hepworld-blog]

2017: confusion, hopelessness, and silver linings

Remember on January 1st of 2017 when someone altered the Hollywood sign to say hollyweed? Well I guess we should’ve known the year would be all downhill from there.

Ok that’s not totally fair. On the world stage it was a year of highs and lows, disasters and improvements, and it’s difficult to separate the good from the bad. If I had to sum up my year, I’d label it as in confusion. World events seemed to be one disaster after another all through the year. From a rise in gun violence in the United States, to a humanitarian crisis against the Rohingya people, a catastrophe in Yemen that the rest of the world has ignored to numerous natural disasters across North America, 2017 was a year of suffering across the globe. Not to mention and an increase in oppressive and chaotic policies from world powers: pushback against free speech in China, efforts to curb internet freedom from every major world power in human civilization, Turkey’s embrace of elected dictatorship, the United States’ rollback of protection on transgender individuals, Spain’s takeover of Catalunya, Russia’s imprisonment of political opponents, a genocide against gay people in Chechnya and the United States’ pullback on climate protections. Some claimed 2016 showed a rebellion of the working class against elites, and heralded populist policies as restoring rule of the common person. 2017 showed how misguided these ideas really were.

But in the middle of all the suffering, 2017 showed us a slight glimmer of hope for us to build our futures on. As an observer of humanity, I was very enthusiastic to see the rise and popularity of the #MeToo movement—that a substantial group of people in western society are willing to listen to the claims of women against harassment, and take a stand against anyone who perpetuates this violence. And this new intolerance of sexual crimes even drifted to the most conservative parts of the united states: a (small) majority of Alabama voters were willing to put aside the politically-divisive atmosphere that they’ve cherished in the face of a candidate whose unapologetic bigotry was overshadowed by his alleged pedophilia. After a tense year in most western countries’ politics, this showed some kind of hope that people would stand together to put what is right before their own pride.

Any discussion of 2017’s silver linings would be incomplete if I didn’t mention the strides taken by Saudi Arabia’s crown prince to modernize the countries policies and eliminate corruption. From allowing women to drive, to a reopening of movie theaters, I am hopeful that the oppressive regime will continue its path towards acknowledging human rights to all people. These steps might be small, they may be small victories amidst a larger trend against human rights, but the most oppressed among us are slowly gaining their freedoms. Those people’s livelihoods are worth every struggle. Amidst a general feeling of hopelessness that has surrounded world events, we have a beautiful silver lining. That was a main theme of 2017: hope in the face of hopelessness.

I found it interesting how closely entertainment in 2017 reflected this. Memes became more ironic and cynical as the world seemed to lose its way forward. As life became more confusing and the truth seemed to drift farther away, surreal memes became popular showing the meaningless of the world. Even the newest movie in the Star Wars saga reflected our time, showing how small acts of kindness in the face of huge defeats for the resistance made the whole journey worth it, all while the film’s antihero urges us to put our losses behind us and embrace the uncertainty of the future.

Many of the reactions people had to all this trouble really bothered me, especially people who try to fight what they think is wrong, but aren’t sincere about it. I call it popular protesting, and I know I’ve played along with it sometimes. When there’s some outrage in the world, people speak out about it until its old news, and then they move on to something else. Meanwhile the people affected by the outrage are left to rot, just some pawns in a political game. It’s sick, and it has to stop. Meanwhile people totally ignore crises that are harder to take some fake moral high ground in (again why don’t more people care about the worst humanitarian crisis of the decade in Yemen?).

Of course for us, what makes a year good or bad is more about personal experience than that of world events that don’t affect us personally. And I know a lot of you had amazing years, spending time with friends and making memories. Ironically, I think my year directly mirrored the world’s. Some of the best memories of my life were formed this year, and some of the worst, I felt the general hopelessness and saw silver linings in my own life as in the world. Maybe we’re all just reflections of the world we live in, if we are willing to admit it to ourselves.

At the end of 2016, I asked a friend on Instagram what he thought the key to ethical behavior was. His response was “to accept that you are not any more special than anybody else and act accordingly.” I thought that was a pretty crappy answer at first, but I think he’s right: it takes realizing that you are no superior to anyone else to act in a way that isn’t selfish and act fairly. Everyone is just as confused and scared as you, nobody belongs anywhere, and everyone’s going to die, so you have the same consideration towards all people as you do yourself. So I went into 2017 with that attitude, spent a lot of time thinking about life, and after melding it with my previously-held beliefs, I thought I’d been enlightened or found some sort of key to life. I realize now how arrogant that was to think I had everything in my understanding. I guess if life was easy to figure out, someone else would’ve done it by now.

Here’s the thing. In Atlantis’s culture there’s something called the Jakanta, an ancient practice which refers to a way of living, where you constantly pursue a greater truth, discovering some sort of pattern to the universe. I’m not sure if there’s an allegory in human society but it’s something engrained in our history and I try to live to pursue it. For a long time I felt like I was getting closer to being firmly “enlightened” and gained understanding of reality, and then I came across information that started forcing me to dismantle what I thought were my hard-formed values. The thing is, it was my philosophy of Jakanta that was forcing me out of the ideas I’ve believed my whole life. Realizing that you’ve been wrong and letting go of your so-called sacred cows is probably the scariest thing a person can do. And it didn’t make me happier or feel liberated or anything, it only made my life more chaotic and confusing. Because I loved being that old Hep. That Hep was so passionate and driven, felt wise and validated, like I was going somewhere. I bet if that Hep met me now he would never guess I was once him. Maybe that Hep would rather die than become me, see me as some empty and purposeless shell. But the ironic part is that I came directly from that Hep’s way of thinking.

Anyone who has talked to me at any length knows I’m a more than a little obsessive about the concept of identity (If y’all want, maybe I’ll write a long paper about all I’ve learned about it someday). That’s one of the main reasons I’ve kept my account all these years lol, because constantly being asked who I am by all of you forces me to think about identity and I still don’t have it completely figured out. But this is what 2017 taught me: what defines you isn’t your beliefs or knowledge, because that is constantly changing (either that or you die stupid, like your politicians). Rather I think that what forms a person’s identity is how they think and allow themselves to grow. What are they willing to question? Do they have faith in something? I guess the beliefs that define your identity are the ones about how to grow, not conceptions of the world. So if any of us want to improve, we need to start by adopting a better way of thinking.

So this begs the question, is my way of thinking even good? Obviously questioning and overanalyzing everything like I do didn’t do me any favors, basically destroying whatever walls I’d built up to keep me sane! I feel like after the past year I’ve lost touch with a lot of reality, just drifting through some abstract space I don’t understand. Maybe I’ve gone insane, probably, even. But at least I am authentic to myself. Because it’s so easy to delude yourself, and I’m constantly worried that I’m pushing reality away in exchange for what I’d rather be true to feel secure and accepted. You can convince yourself of anything you want, if it makes you feel good. Maybe if “ignorance is bliss” I should just forget the whole thing and delude myself into whatever is comfortable. For several months I’ve been wrestling with a simple question: if knowing some truth makes me unhappy and sets my life askew, is it worth knowing? I’ve asked a ton of friends about this (thanks y’all). One of them told me what I’d feared: my good friend told me that nobody can never escape ignorance, so learning isn’t relevant. She told me that it’s best to live entirely in faith and not question things that may lead me down questionable paths. My gut reaction was to reject that, but I didn’t understand why. Because she’s right, I will never achieve complete understanding, I know it as did the monks who established the Jakanta in Atlantis 3000 years ago. Was it time to topple that final pillar of my identity and exchange pursuing knowledge for a blissful life?  

It took me a while to come up with a good answer: knowledge builds wisdom, and that helps others. A happy life lived only for itself is no meaningful life. However, I can use my understanding of the world to help others who are struggling with similar situations, and not often, but maybe, I can change someone’s life for the better. If I can help just someone, all the unhappiness in the world is worth suffering. How selfish is willful ignorance! Only those who suffer can sympathize with others. That’s why every religion claims their central figure “suffered in every way.” I’m no more special than anyone else, so if I can help someone through real physical struggles, my mental confusion is worth every second of it. So then knowledge doesn’t always make you happy, but it always makes you better.

See I don’t know when I’ll die. I’m just lucky to have survived for as long as I have. I think I don’t value that enough: I need to make a difference while I still can, in the name of those who didn’t make it through the past year. And most importantly, when my time comes I want to die where I stood, following what I believed in. I don’t want to die complacent, like a former hero who has become irrelevant while his work is undone. That’s why I try so hard to keep improving myself, so that I can pursue what I believe till the very end. Life is too short to check out and stop helping people.

I’m realize I’m rambling, and maybe you’re trying to think up some platitude to respond to me, but I assure you that’s the last way I want you to react. This is not at all a plea for sympathy or some way to evangelize my ideas to you, I’m just putting out there what I’m thinking because maybe it will help someone think. And because everyone always asks me what my “true identity” is: well, this is it. I’m Hep, because that’s how I choose to grow.

Is happiness a lost cause for those of us who question everything like I think is right? I thought so at first. But my good friend Taylor made a point that gave me hope: she says that whatever contentment I lost because of what I’ve learned this year will surely pass. Everyone knows that people resist change, that much has been obvious over the last two years. Missing my old state of mind and feeling less happy about life becoming chaotic and confusing is just that same fear of change. If I embrace the chaos, I’ll eventually find that contentment again. I expect this cycle of understanding and confusion will continue throughout my life. Thinking I know myself, losing it, and moving on. Maybe it will bring with it waves of depression or confusion, but all is worth it because with each cycle I will be better equipped to help others. And so out of this cycle of hopelessness and chaos, I have my silver lining.

You know, seems poetic to me that America, in a year full of politically-charged anger, would experience a full solar eclipse. As some of you know, I made the trek out from Atlantis to middle America to see the full eclipse, and maybe those of you who didn’t do the same will not understand this at all. When the full eclipse began, and the sky had darkened, a cold wind rolled over the plains relieving from a hot summer afternoon and the sun became a beautiful iridescent ring, circling a brilliant silver sphere of the moon. It hovered there in the sky, and for a minute it seemed to give peace to everything beneath it. I was reminded of the words of a certain future empress of Atlantis, 19 years old at the time, nearly 2500 years ago. “When nature reveals to us its full glory, it challenges us to imprint its beauty upon our souls.” She said this while leading a rebellion against a violent and oppressive government that ruled Atlantis, a movement which would result in the restructure of our government and issue in an era of prosperity, peace and stability. To me, the eclipse was a reminder that life and society are improved not by opposing anger with anger, but by individuals each harboring a determined peace and understanding as the foundation of their souls.

This thought is by no means original in the current climate, but while these ideas are often used as tropes to make the user feel righteous they are blatantly ignored in practice. Maybe many of them try to live by it. I know I’ve failed at applying this idea many times, because anger is such an easier response to fear and confusion than temperance and self-examination. It is my challenge to keep improving myself to approach this, and I expect I will continue pursuing this goal for the rest of my life.

I’m not a believer in new years resolutions. You can keep your “new year new me” crap, because one week in, you’ll realize you have no means to achieve your goals, give up and be twice the slob you were beforehand. Heck I bet a handful of you already gave up. Because you can’t just change your habits and beliefs on a whim, all you can hope to do is make an effort to grow. So in that spirit I’m giving myself a challenge to give myself a direction to improve. I probably will fail to follow it many times, but that’s okay as long as I keep trying.

Here’s my challenge, to start the year. For one, I’m not going to fall into the trap of popular protesting. If something bad is going on, I’ll either keep spreading awareness and don’t stop until it’s fixed—no letting go when the public stops caring—or I’ll let someone else carry the fight. There’s nothing worse than an insincere activist. And if someone is being unethical it does me no good to hate on them. The best reaction is to behave in the way opposite of them, acting positively instead of negatively. As my man Ghandi once said, you gotta be the change you wish to see in the world. I think I’m going to try to cut judgement out of my life altogether: whenever something happens or someone says an idea, my first reaction is often to identify it as good or bad. Just like I’m not a fan of names, I’m not a fan of those labels, and I’ll work to stop that response in myself. Every time you label something, you keep it from being properly questioned, and that’s unhealthy for me. And finally, as always, I will try to be a decent person, try to make an impact on those around me and work to acquire knowledge and improve my thinking.

That’s where I’m going in the next year. I’m not asking you to agree with it or adopt the same challenge, but I hope you ask yourself where you want to grow. Every day is another step in the journey to make yourself authentic, and I hope you all live to be the best versions of yourselves. Don’t be afraid to leave your pasts behind and look to the future, always find ways to be kind, and never stop questioning your thoughts.

Hep out.

[bubbybot]

Blitzwing: (releases hundreds of pictures into the city) “Now all of earth knows... we’re gay.”

BB: “How many of these did you make?”

I really like this but I only feel like sketching right now, its based on that old mulan meme, now all of china know... your gay :o

[interdiit]

❨ ‘shit i heard my freshman year at college’: a meme ❩

yes, i definitely wrote down all the weird shit i heard when i was walking to/from class and doing other college shit this year because that’s who i am as a person. so here’s all that shit that i’m now turning into a meme bc i can that’s why feel free to change pronouns/whatever you wanna change lmao i said like 2 of these things so feel free to fuck with whatever you want it won’t offend me

“Fuck y’all, I have bronchitis.”

“You ain’t doin’ the show unless you’re doin’ flying Jesus.”

“Go America. Fuck China.”

“I’m afraid to go on a cruise because, like, the Titanic...?”

“I like putting sugar on my Chinese food.”

“I’m gonna play Ellen DeGeneres today.”

“Memes! Y’all got memes!”

“Thirty years of July, they’re all hot!”

“All the words have different words.”

“I got chicken up my nose.”

“Hell yeah! Look at that flower!”

“I’m a decent smart.”

“Mr. Clean Magic Erasers? Crap.”

“The moon looks like a toenail.”

“It’s from Target, fuck you.”

“Are you too good for ass candy?”

“I was her first sandwich.”

“I’m not sure if I like acting or if I just like being applauded.

“(Name) is kind and merciful because he/she loves you.”

“This website is trying to confuse you because it’s run by demons.”

“I’m gonna grab a little handheld cart.”

“Next thing we know, we’re buried three feet in ducks.”

“There are wolves, and wolves will eat you.”

“There’s a musical version of Lord of the Rings. It’s better not spoken of.”

“We’re in this sea of gay.”

“I love George Washington and all that shit.”

“Let’s throw his/her ass in the dishwasher. Purify him/her.”

“You’re like a rose in the morning. All... wet and stuff.”

“All things to do with children also has to do with serial killers.”

“Between the US, Canada, and the UK, one of them is a superpower. The home of freedom.”

“They never made it to the moon! We did!”

“My biggest fear is Nicolas Cage.”

“Most societies have values against murder.”

“We in the present are always better. Why? We’re alive.”

“Another play about the evils of homosexuality...”

“Too much Mountain Dew and inbreeding.”

“This is some shit I’d do on the Sims.”

“Is cupcake the same flavor as cake?”

“Why does he always snapchat with his neckbone sticking out?”

“My parents got married on Pearl Harbor day. That’s probably why their marriage sank so fast.”

“I made it that way so ssh...!”

“And that’s why I know my credit card number.”

“This is your girlfriend. Put your penis inside of her and deal with it...!”

“My gum is Doublemint because I’m 67.”

“You look how I feel.”

“When your whole family disappears, he’ll/she’ll be there for you.”

“If you wear a skort you’re dead to me.”

“Self control, (name)!”

“That’d be funny; show up to a murder scene in an Uber.”

“Guys, come on, we’re in the courts of Olympus...!”

“I may have got a 35 on my math test, but I can count to 8.”

“She wore the same shoes as me. That whore.”

“He stops, smokes a cigarette, has an affair...”

“Hold my spoons!”

“I love America, I’m a patriot most of the time, but we’re the worst.”

“If the bridge fell, we’d be excused, right?”

“I can blame it on short people.”

“You’ve obviously never wanted to brutally murder your parents with a hammer.”

“I’m not gonna die, I’m not gonna die. I’m not gonna cry, I’m not gonna cry.”

“She’s racist and she can’t spell!”

“We ripped the handle off of the door so we have to finger the door to get in.”

“They’re so good, except they taste like soap.”

“It’s Snow White... out of grass...!”

“What do I do, shove it in my mouth?”

“Ice cream isn’t for the stomach, it’s for the soul.”

“You know how if you turn someone’s neck really quickly, they die? Yeah, I wanna do that.”

“Attraction has to do with attractiveness.”

“I’m out here risking my life for chicken nuggets.”

“Reward me with death.”

“Mexican food is my favorite ethnicity of food.”

“Get out of my house.”

“I’ll pay you a dollar to come to French with me. No? $1.25?”

“I think Oprah Winfrey is made up.”

“My greatest accomplishment in life is getting fifteen likes in a group chat.”

“You remind me of my friend. He/she also calls himself/herself a trash can.”

“The metal part of the paintbrush is called the ferrule.”

[fyeahleoji]

Gasolina

@bathsoaps - 4 times Guang-Hong brought the gasoline. umm, hope you like?? haha, this got a little long, too. 

---

1)

The whole world probably had a simultaneous aneurysm when Ji Guang-Hong announced his theme for the 2015 Grand Prix finals as Bonds and Violence. Shy, sweet Guang-Hong, who blushed for the media and sent Snapchats with flowers threaded through his hair…

And sure, Leo was a little bit surprised. But at the same time, he wasn’t, because even though skating was supposed to be about reaching outside your comfort level, he knew Guang-Hong better than that. Anyone who thought he was all flowers and blushing was an idiot.

(Or they just didn’t know him well enough. Not the way Leo did, at least.)

Because Guang-Hong was ten thousand tons of explosive energy corked into the world’s cutest bomb, his pretty smile the curved sheath to a knife. He was dirty jokes slid under your ribs at 3 AM and slivers of pale skin right beneath the edges of his sweater…

He could probably kill Leo and not even get any blood on his pink cheetah-print curtains.

Fortunately, Guang-Hong wasn’t like that all the time. (Leo was glad for that-  he’d probably die.) But when he was, it brought feelings up to the surface of Leo’s skin that he wasn’t quite ready to face, like even though he wanted to run, there was the inexplicable urge of wanting to grab the front of Guang-Hong’s costume and smash their mouths together on the ice.

He was standing in the room watching Guang-Hong’s programme on television. And it was terrifying, like he was fighting instead of skating, a spark in his eyes that couldn’t just be there for the crowd.

“Your boyfriend’s fire,” one of the other skaters commented, and Leo blushed and tore his gaze from the screen.

That wasn’t true. Guang-Hong was just his friend.

---

2)

The second time it happened (in Leo’s decidedly terrible memory), they were thousands of miles apart.

Most of the time, Leo hated those thousands of miles. Hated that Guang-Hong was just pixels on a screen, their day and nights reversed. But this time, he was quietly relieved, because he wouldn’t be close enough for Guang-Hong to burn with his flame.

(That might not be true, actually. Guang-Hong managed to wreck him from an ocean away better than anyone else in America ever had.)

They were both tired today. Their practices were long and grueling, and somehow, (scientific phenomena) their bad moods tended to sync up. They sat without talking, a miniature version of Guang-Hong bandaging his feet up on the screen. Leo plucked at the strings of his guitar, the music for once not making him feel any better.

God… skating had killed him today, a series of one trainwreck after another. All of his muscles were sore, not a single bone in his body spared from the torture, and usually, he was okay with that. Okay with that because he felt like he was making progress?

But he was just stuck.

Leo relied on presentation. Relied on his own choreography, on the way he was able to understand the music. But last year’s GPF had showed him that wasn’t enough, so he’d been on the ice for weeks on end now, trying to master a quad. And today his coach had snapped.

She’d apologized right afterward, but her words didn’t hurt any less. Because they were true.

“What’s on your mind?” Guang-Hong asked. “I just sent you a doge meme. And like, you didn’t respond.” Leo checked his phone- there was indeed an image in his inbox. His mouth twitched in the beginnings of a smile before settling down into a hard neutral name.

“My coach told me I should quit today,” Leo said finally.

Guang-Hong’s eyes hardened. “Did she mean it?”

“Does it matter?” Leo asked.

“God, don’t ask stupid questions. Of course it does.”

Leo took a deep breath, putting the guitar down. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

Guang-Hong was silent on the other end of the line before whispering, “You can’t possibly believe that.”

And maybe that was the motivation Leo needed to just spill, because it’d been building up for weeks at this point, and right now it almost didn’t matter that Guang-Hong might never look at him the same way again…

Leo laughed bitterly, running his hands through his hair. “I do. Because you know what, we can’t all be Yuuri and Viktor and Chris… some of us just aren’t good enough.”

“Don’t,” Guang-Hong said, and his voice was hard. “Don’t, if you do, I’ll never forgive you.”

Leo’s voice rose, cold and broken. “Can’t you just let me fuck up my quad toe in peace? You got them in what, after a month? And I’ve been going at this for almost a quarter of a year and I’ve been landing on my ass every single time.”

“This isn’t you,” Guang-Hong said. His phone trembled, like he couldn’t hold it right.

“Yeah- well. I guess it’s not. Because all I am- is…”

“A what.”

“A nothing,” he said. “A fuck-up. I don’t deserve to stand on the same ice as you guys…”

There was nothing for a couple of seconds, and Leo thought that Guang-Hong had hung up. If he had, Leo deserved it- he felt like he was spiralling, quick and hard and uncontrollable, and he wasn’t going to drag Guang-Hong down with him.

And then the phone exploded. No- just the volume. He nearly dropped the device from the sheer force of Guang-Hong’s voice, hard and angry and jesus was that the boy that had stood eating jianbing near a street vendor-

“Clearly, you need someone to knock some sense into you!” he yelled. “Okay, listen up- and you’re going to listen, I don’t care if I fucking blow your eardrums out with this speech, because you need to hear this. Do you even know how much I admire the way you skate? How much I wish I could do choreography like that? Your quad toe can go fuck itself for all I care, because I love the way you skate, and so many people love the way you skate- and maybe you don’t believe in yourself but I fucking do and you. Are not. Going to question that.”

(Silence.)

“Leo de la Iglesia, if you hung up, I’m going to take a plane over there and murder you with an ancient Chinese blood ritual. Or maybe a kitchen knife. Both.”

“No, I’m still here,” Leo said, dazed.

“God, you better be.”

“I deserved that, didn’t I.”

“Trust me, you don’t deserve anything,” Guang-Hong said, and Leo’s head dropped. “I just- don’t let it get so bad that you threaten to quit on me, okay? We still need to podium together at the GPF… don’t try and drown everything out with your trashy pop music. Talk to me.”

“I don’t listen to trashy pop music.”

“If you say so.”

---

3)

Leo never really had any memorable airplane scenes before. Sure, there was that one time he couldn’t fall asleep and ended up puking on the landing… but he wasn’t referring to the actual airplane part. Just the airport.

Usually, waiting at an airport felt comfortable. He felt slightly dizzy, sometimes, if he was the one getting off, and slightly bored if he was the one waiting. Because he knew what he’d see, that they would look the same way they always did.

But Guang-Hong was uncharted territory.

There were only a certain amount of pixels on a screen, and Guang-Hong was- well, the planes of his face, his body, was infinite. Leo could probably make an entire soundtrack from his freckles alone (he considered that one night before deciding he’d be way too embarrassed if anyone ever found it… Guang-Hong did have a playlist on his phone, though. Gasolina. Andas en mi Cabeza. Shooting Star. It was way too long and Leo listened to it way too often.)

So he didn’t really know how it would be when he saw Guang-Hong again. And Jesus, it felt like he was getting ready to jump out of his skin at this point.

And then- there. In the crowd. He was wearing his Team China jacket and pulling a beat-up red suitcase behind him, at least a dozen charms attached to the straps.

He’s full-screen, Leo thought. Then, because that was the dumbest thought ever, No. Duh. That’s because he’s here.

His heart pounded. Guang-Hong still hadn’t seen him, and Leo couldn’t even move.

I should. Tell him I’m here. He’d thought of plenty of first sentences he wanted to say, witty and cool. Something about overpriced airport empanadas or American-flavored t-shirts. But all he could think about when he saw him was oh my god he’s here and I really, really want to kiss him.

He’d have to work on that second urge. Who knew if Guang-Hong wanted to kiss him back?

It turned out that he didn’t have to worry because Guang-Hong said it first. “Leo!” he said. Not that loud.

Leo bit his mouth. “Hi,” he managed to get out. He’s so real. How is his face and voice so different than what they were an hour ago? Also, can my thoughts please dial back on the gay? This is getting out of hand. Don’t scoop him up- airport security will probably think you’re trying to kill him or something.

Guang-Hong ran over. And his posture was shy, but his face was blazing, and the way he mumbled I missed you nearly melted Leo into the floor.

---

4)

July. Fireflies appearing in the bushes like spots of light, and Leo was only a little bit sad that Guang-Hong was leaving tomorrow. (That’s Guang-Hong for you; hard to say hello to, and hard to say goodbye, but the middle left Leo dizzy and breathless and alive.)

“I don’t want to go,” Guang-Hong confessed. “Your family’s so nice.”

“My little sister’s, like, in love with you,” Leo said. So am I- maybe it’s a gene that runs in the family.

Guang-Hong smirked. “Nah, she just loves my hair.” And Leo grinned, because Guang-Hong was the kind of guy that would let seven-year-old girls stick pins in his hair and then actually keep them in for the rest of the day until they fell out in his sleep.

“So,” Leo said. “I feel like we should be talking about something.”

“And we’re not?” Guang-Hong asked. “This is usually how conversations work, Leo. With words.”

“You know what I meant,” Leo mumbled. “Just- you’re going tomorrow. I feel like I should be making some kind of sappy dramatic speech right now. Like at the end of a movie.”

Guang-Hong smiled. “Oh, so like in the King and the Skater.”

“Exactly like in the King and the Skater.”

“What, you want me to kiss you before I leave for China?”

“Yes.”

Silence. Leo couldn’t breathe. “I- I mean,” he stammered. “Um.”

Guang-Hong rolled his eyes. “Oh my god, shut up-” before he stood up on his tiptoes and yanked Leo’s mouth down to meet his.

(And Leo learned that Guang-Hong kissed like fire.)