#and i feel like im failing.
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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
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taking off my anxiety over a license exam ☠️
#messyr#IM GOING TO CRY IF I FAIL THIS EXAM BUT DAMN I ALREADY FEEL LIKE THROWING UP!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAH#I keep thinking about the fkin adobe license yet im still out here drawing projects for a media visual novel and egames art concepts AAARGH#Also still drafting stuff for this AU bc it doesn't just focus on ships- rather the plot itself LMAO.#doodle#artists on tumblr#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel au#hazbin hotel: Michelin Stars AU#hazbin hotel human au#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel alastor#lucifer morningstar#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel charlie#charlie morningstar#radioapple
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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someday i will write and post my 10,000 page thesis essay about how in miraculous the yin themed characters (characters who wear primarily dark colors over white undershirts) are thoughtful schemers who live mostly within their own heads (marinette, luka, felix, amelie) while the yang themed characters (white over dark undershirts) don't think so much as they DO and are straightforward and action-driven (adrien, kagami, emilie) but that would require having the attention span to do so
#and then i'd have to deal w gabriel's stupid candycane outfit despite the fact gabriel clearly thematically belongs in the yin category#not just for his scheming reasons but also because he and marinette have that whole foiling going on#while also he is clearly opposite to adrien/emilie#and i don't feel like arguing that#also something something you notice how the failed relationships then are all yin/yin or yang/yang pairs?#(lukanette and adrigami and possibly gabenath if you argue that gabe and nath are both yin. which i would.)#anyway. i COULD say all this#but i wont of course. because im lazy <3
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bedtime story with my love !!
#mine#cats#oooooooooogh im so cold....bath time bath time :3 !#i hope everyone is hvaing a good week i am now DONE with work !!!!! hehe !!!!!!!!!!#i might not do any drawing for a little while . maybe just felt tips#also. cannnot for the life of me decide what 2 read...am like 30% way thro assassins fate but Um its . a little intense so im taking a brea#idk what im in the mood for....something....fun... but isnt bad#i feel like all 'light' books r bad. maybe i will just reread the goblin emperor. as i always do when all else fails#also. am going ice skating tomorrow i am SO excited . i hvent been in so so long its so exciting !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#mwah. hve good evening :3
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saw someone saying something like "do you really think veilguard story would be better if you could do evil choices?" and actually yeah. i think if they let us act more like the dreadwolf on the "you are a paralellism to the dreadwolf" game, it would be more significant when the story tells you "you are a bit like him/you are nothing like him" because , thats how you chosed to play it.
#like i think the game could be good without the evil choices. but i would like a choice at all tho.#it can be just pragmatical vs idealist it can be about how much would you be able to give or sacrifice#how the game is now when you lose people it feels more like you failed more than you sacrificed them#veilguard critical#also#i can see all his memories and judge him in veilguard#but the thing that really made me be on his shoes#was the inquisition mission In Hushed Whispers#where you wake up in a horrible world and you just want the old one back#da4 spoilers#da4#dragon age#stuff like the emmrich mission i thought it was gonna be a paralelism to solas#of “would you sacrifice your people in order for you to have more power to save others?”#“would you move on from the dead or try to get it back ?” like it worked both ways#there was a moment in game i thought all the companion missions were thematicly connected to the themes of the plot#but idk the themes are there but at the same time there are not idk how to explain it#when varric is like “you are not like solas!!!” doesnt really work for me when its impossible to be like him#it never worked for me when charas in videogame tells you “you are X” for things that you are forced to do in game#and its always a gut punch or very satisfying when you actually chosed to do them#anyways im rambling
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Dp x dc AU - If the Internation Space Station orbits the Earth 16 times a day, then so does the Watchtower.
Danny’s on track to move out of his parent’s house and move to Gotham for college (He swears that Sam bribed the board to let him in- and she wasn’t even going to that university!) but the dorms don’t open for another three days and he cannot wait to escape. Seeing his parents try to perfect yet another weapon to use against him while he changed out the ecto filters on the portal was too much. He’s completely over the idea of staying when he already has everything packed and ready to go.
The solution? Take all his boxes into his haunt in the Ghost Zone, leave them there and then spend some time in camping in space. He’s already explored the Infinite Realms enough to be bored of it for a minute (not to mention he wants to avoid getting more ‘favors’ to do from Clockwork) and hell, he just wants to see some stars.
He grabs his tent, a sleeping bag and all the food and things he could need and brings it into the atmosphere with him. Keeping it all tethered to him, Danny stays in a fixed position above Gotham (Cause that’s where he’s going next, duh) and treats himself to some quality Me-time.
Only problem is that several times a day he has to make himself intangible while he lets satellites and things pass through. Easy enough and honestly pretty interesting to observe as a wannabe engineering student.
He doesn’t know when exactly it happened the first time- but it turns out the Heroes of Earth all congregated in a satelite office building? It was bigger than the ISS! What the heck!?
Going intangible but not invisible, the JL spot Danny and are incredibly confused how an ‘Alien’ teen just happens to appear in their meeting rooms disappearing at the rate (slowly but surely) of the Watchtower moving through space. Was that camping gear? How was he roasting a marshmallow? Did propane camping stoves even work in space??
16 times a day they get the opportunity to ask Danny a few questions. He mostly ignores them or gives them joke answers. Eventually Martian Manhunter phases through the Watchtower to join him.
They talk about how hard transition periods in life can be and having strained relationships with family. J’ohn returns to the watchtower on its next cycle and reports that the kid is just fine, being an adult is just a hard thing to do.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#Danny Phantom#justice league#watchtower#dc#dc crossover#dc universe#martian manhunter#so much potential for him to haunt them but tbh he just wants to keep looking at the stars#dont ask me how his camping stove works in the vaccum of space google was unhelpful and i failed physics 2#well i mean i passed it eventually but i failed it the first time#thats the energy im bringing and the energy i feel like vibes with danny#the iss moves around earth 16 times a day tho and i think thats neat#martian manhunter is like dude earth relationships are legit so hard and im not just saying that as a refugee#id also like to think that miss martian eventually joins them and danny gets invited to join the YJ
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hey yall, i just ran out of food stamps and cash yesterday. still battling the heat while i'm living in my car too. if you're willing and able, i could really use some donations or boosts to keep me going.
as always, yall have been super great with boosting my dono posts. genuinely i'd be screwed without my followers and it's wild to me how lucky i am. i'm going to be talking to my case manager about hiring a lawyer to help with my disability case, because i really don't want this to go on any longer than it has to.
anyway, here are the links once again, and a super huge thank you to everyone who boosts or donates <3
ko-fi
cashapp
#donation request#mutual aid#aid#boost#im anticipating some car issues in the future#it feels like my brakes are reaching the end of their life again#feels exactly the same as it did in the weeks before they failed last time#im just hoping i can get some income before anything breaks so i dont have to rely on donations for a large expense like that
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trying to remember how to draw again 🐠
#my art#geminitay#sketch#mcyt#hermitcraft#mcytblr#art#hermitblr#mcyt fanart#geminitay fanart#hermitcraft s10#hc s10#hermitcraft fanart#i've never drawn a fish in my life can you tell#my mom switched us to an ISP that works really well in the rurals but we dont live in the rurals so the speed is hilariously poor.#I'm reliving 2011 against my will. it took 3 hours to download all 20 of the stardew mods i use. i watch youtube videos in 140p.#it takes 5 minutes to send an email. like. from pressing send to the mail being sent.#autosaving this post failed!!! i didnt know that was something that could happen#customer support has been unhelpful. this whole thing feels like an elaborate april fools joke. im not upset btw it IS funny
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phinktober day 11: ur fav AU
i dont rlly do AUs so i just drew them how i wish they would dress xo
(dan’s tats r carnations and snowdrops and phil’s r roses and honeysuckle. for no reason 🤗)
ALSO bonus version w makeup bc i couldn’t pick <3
#soz copied caption from twt i have been drawing for 7 hours straight i need to drink water eat something take a piss and a shower and sleep#no braincell rn#goodbye it is wine time#hope yall like this idfk what people what these days other than ship art but im not doing that so sorry no knights fucking for you#just me making them look like me bc i’m a narcissist etc#god i am way too tired to be yapping rn i have no filter whatever ABYWAY HASHTAG DANIPHIW#art2 and craft2#dnp#phanart#dan and phil#daniel howell#amazingphil#dan howell#phil lester#phinktober#punk edits irl come back to me please#i’m missing a fkn hashtag i just know it whatever i don’t CARE im TIRED i have eaten nothing but half a jar of picked today i feel so goblin#idk why i tunnelvisioned w this piece it’s not even that good or detailed LMFAO#actually the tattoos were a BITCH and also made me sad bc of my whole failed tattooing career etc#OH MY GOD WHY AM I YAPPING SO MUCH SOMEONE EUTHANISE ME#good NIGHT !!!!!!#pickles not picked btw but i’m not retyping all of that#now i’m sad bc i’m out of pickles and it’s 10pm and everything is shut:( hate my stupid gay life
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oh yeah also jayvik are extremely orpheus and eurydice coded i don't make the rules
#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#jayce talis#jayce arcane#viktor arcane#jayvik#jayce x viktor#you mightve guessed that ive been listening to the hadestown soundtrack again recently#but anyways. jayce going back over and over and failing in timeline after timeline in the hopes that maybe this time. maybe just this once#he'll succeed and get his partner back#viktor putting the whole of his faith and trust in jayce that jayce will come back for him even though he fails again and again#but still viktor cannot imagine not believing in jayce one more time#the way the entire universe hangs in the balance of their bond oh man#i feel like jayvik is beyond categorization they're like the peak of classical romance which is not necessarily kisses and dating etc#but like the purest form of intimacy and affection. or something#i should write a fic abt this#anyways . idk . im a big fan of meljayvik so mel fits in here SOMEWHERE i just havent figured it out yet#if you made it to the bottom of this wall of tags here's a pie 🥧
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the way this website treats disabled people is actually horrendous
#yes even the ''progressive'' types always love to imply that literal symptoms of disability#means someone is lazy or that its a moral failing or that they should simply just stop#and the sheer NUMBER of autistic people shitting on other autistic people with higher support needs than them#or who ''act'' more autistic or just have more unpalatable inconvenient or annoying symptoms than them#that cannot be treated like just a quirky trait that makes them more interesting or cute or whatever#i think i wrote like. 2 posts on that where its more coherent than here idk#''this is the autism website'' no. i don't think i feel very welcome here.#mine#yomipost#ableism#actually autistic#i guess other people can add on if they want cause im not gonna be able to articulate much else than that
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idk who that other anon is but i actually sent the prose ask? i said i loved your prose why that be a hate ask
oh my god that's so funny??? stolen hate anon valour...
#this is great actually people in my inbox are just doing identity fraud now#im glad the original ask wasnt a backhanded compliment at my expense that i failed to pick up on though#because ngl that last anon made me feel like i was being bullied in high school for being too socially inept to recognise#other peoples contempt for me again ;_;
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finding out your f/o has a picture of you as their wallpaper or vice versa… bonus if it’s a really stupid/blurry one. or something either of you didn’t know the other took a picture of, like sleeping or being busy with something that ends up being a favorite of theirs/yours
#english….. how to english….#i think im so good englishing but then i fail so much in real life and then fail so much in typing too. like. do you ever just look at a#-word and it feels wrong so you read it over and over like for a minute. Yeah#SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM SORRY….#she would be my wallpaper :3 a commission of us is actually but in reality it would be one of her sleeping i think#self ship#self shipping#self ship prompts#f/o imagines
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Ruining Hank's life with one simple introduction (for the fourth and not final time).
#detroit become human#connor rk800#me trying to get the trophy with connor dying 8 times is kinda killing me! its so! stressful! to fail! QTEs!#also im sorry for making your life miserable hank please forgive me i dont like it either#i feel so bad that im watching a guys mental health decline past the point it already declined before getting involved#as a people pleaser this whole die 8 times for a trophy is agonizing bc im making many people upset#so anyway that second play through is going p bad for me! not a fan! of this whole having to fail QTEs!
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One of the earliest examples of Leo’s “I’ll do my own thing to accomplish our goal without discussing it with my team first” is in episode one. It’s super, super quick, and ultimately inconsequential, but it subtly sets up a great precedent that I think is very interesting.
When the boys need to grab the medallion from Splinter without Splinter noticing, Raph, Mikey, and Donnie huddle together with Raph taking the lead in trying to devise a plan to get the mystic device. Meanwhile, Leo slinks away and grabs the device by clocking the situation (by knowing his father well enough to predict his actions - something he does with each family member multiple times in the series) and making a move on his own.
It works out perfectly fine, and is ultimately the best move, and it’s honestly okay that he didn’t consult everyone for something so small when it’s such a non issue to get it, but it nicely sets up how this tends to go in the series, including how it goes in the movie.
To be honest episode one is actually really good at setting up a lot of things for each character in the long run, this is just one example that caught my attention, as small and unassuming as it is.
#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#im just ranting at this point feel free to ignore me I’m tired lol#anyway#Leo constantly just goes off and does his own thing#and yeah honestly his own thing often works??? but he alienates his brothers/team in the process#BUT also this isn’t necessarily a one way street#when Leo DOES try to consult his brothers or give his thoughts on matters he’s not really taken seriously#best example here is bug busters where he CONSTANTLY makes his worries and suspicions known only to have them ignored#so it’s almost understandable that he doesn’t often open up about his thought process when it’s easier to just do it#than to try and fail to justify it#after all it almost always works out for him when he does so why not?#and then the movie happens#and that line of thinking doesn’t quite hold up does it?#BUT ON ANOTHER NOTE#like I said episode one is super good at setting characters up#from showing off Donnie’s preference for tech vs magic/mystic#from showing Mikey’s innate talent for mysticism#from showing Raph’s anxieties and how easily they can stack up#there’s more but I’d have to do a closer deep dive on the ep and man am I tired#so off the head rambles it is for now#sorry everyone for my constant spam of Too Many Words into things that are prob Not That Deep#it’s honestly just fun haha#EDIT: bc I saw someone mention it! yeah all the boys have communication issues through the series and it’s super interesting and realistic#Leo in particular stands out to me here because his communication issues are a constant theme that pop up much more often#but each of them experiences this in some form
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