#and i fall for it every goddamn time
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"can I copy your homework?"
"yeah but don't make it obvious"
The homework: Clive Schill, Marcus Cutter and Elias Bouchard
#sophie speaks‼️#and i fall for it EVERY GODDAMN TIME#corrupt business men with no regard for others wellbeing and throughs around threats and insults like its nobodys business my beloveds#im spreadin round podcasts like wild fire#no podcast fandom is safe from me#the magnus archives#wolf 359#red valley podcast#elias bouchard#clive schill#marcus cutter
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i love my best friend and at the same time i hate him because i feel so guilty for everything that happened the past few days
#hij doet het allemaal ook zo subtiel#checken hoe het met me gaat#stomme dingen zeggen om me aan t lachen te maken#mij uit huis proberen te krijgen#op zo’n manier dat hij het niet te letterlijk benoemt#omdat hij weet dat ik daar juist helemaal van dichtklap#and i fall for it every goddamn time#i’m so tering grateful for this man#we gaan vrijdag afspreken#want morgen lukt me echt nog niet#en ik ga echt eerlijk proberen te zijn#ik wil hem niet teleurstellen maar ik wil hem ook echt niet uitsluiten#en als ik niet zo gezellig kan zijn verdient hij het wel#om te weten wat er ongeveer aan de hand is denk ik#just the fact that he kept texting me and kept trying to find a way to hang out this week#while respecting my boundaries 100%#ik denk dat ik dit wel durf te bespreken#en ik weet echt bij god niet hoe ik dit moet aanpakken#maar hij heeft een opening gemaakt voor mij en nu is gewoon t moment om dat te gebruiken en eerlijk te zijn#ik zie al zo erg tegen dit gesprek op maar it’s for the better
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Novel A New Hope Vader is my favourite Vader (so far) because he Is Anakin, he is everything Anakin is set up to be. He is intimidating, he is overwhelming, standing next to him feels like standing next to a black hole, he is-
The biggest little shit in the entire galaxy.
You canNOT convince me that he didn’t say half his lines with a shit-eating smirk. He is awful to be around, he is the worst person to ever exist, he is SO annoying.
And Novel Vader is so Anakin because the book can give us details the movie can’t. The book gives us the author’s choice of wording, the way the author intended the scenes to be, and Vader is such a little shit almost constantly but my FAVOURITE will always be when Tagge talks back to him about the Force, saying it isn’t as powerful or scary as he makes it out to be and Vader just-
“I find,” Vader ventured mildly, “this lack of faith to be disturbing.”
-the WORD CHOICE. The fucking WORDS chosen.
“Ventured”??? “Mildly”??? He is CHOKING this man!!! This man is DYING!! He is being such a little shit right now, this is it. This is the Him, this is Anakin Skywalker right here. He is using unnecessary force and being a bitch about it and there will never be anything that so perfectly encapsulates Anakin Skywalker than this fucking scene in this fucking novel.
On the topic and as a brief aside, the novel is what makes me think that Leia was planned to be Vader’s kid, or at least a narrative mirror to Vader, right from the start. She is also such an Anakin.
“Darth Vader… I should have known. Only you would be so bold— and so stupid.”
She just… also. Encapsulates Anakin. Like. Yeah. Yeah, this is what he could have been. He could have been a terrifying figure that people rallied behind. He is loyal to the death, as is Leia. She spits on Darth Vader while he’s having her dragged away. She mocks him to his face. This is the character that the Anakin Skywalker of future movies mimics. Her passion, her anger, her being a little shit and insisting throughout everything that it WAS a diplomatic vessel and they WERE on a diplomatic mission.
Leia is the first character to face down Vader in this novel and not show fear. She is the first character who refuses to submit in the face of the scariest guy in the galaxy. She continues to refuse to submit. She’s just. A great fucking liar.
Leia puts all her trust, her very life and the sake of the entire rebellion she’s fighting for, in a droid. An astromech droid. She begs for them to take the droid further, not for them to find her. She’s willing to die, and she trusts her death will not be in vain because she trusts a droid.
And that, if nothing else, is all the proof needed that Leia is what Anakin could have been.
#the inane ramblings of a madman#star wars#anakin skywalker#leia organa#darth vader#i fucking love these two#fucking narrative foils#from falling in love with someone unadvisable and older#to insulting enemies to their fucking face#these two man#leia and anakin are the definition#of the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree#i could go on for hours about the way leia perfectly fits anakin#the way anakin draws so many aspects of himself from leia#because he does!!#the prequels do NOT make anakin luke’s dad#they make him leia’s#the people telling luke he acts like his father are bonkers#i mean surface level yeah#but beneath that#it’s all leia baby#leia is goddamn passion made into light and i fucking love her constantly#a new hope#anh novel#love them love them love them#give me more anakin and leia spending time together and hating every similarity they find#i bet you leia hates sand
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LISTEN I hope telemachus tries to lean on Athena every single time she shows up. It NEVER works. but he still tries. Because he loves her.
#Epic the musical#Wisdom saga#Slight spoiler for wisdom saga#MY FAVORITE MOMENT WHEN TELEMCHAUS TRIES TO LEAN ON ATHENA AND THEN FLOPS THREW HER#I LOVE IT SO MUCH#He does it every single time#Headcanon that he does this with penelope all the time#And then (ironically more) cationously with odysseus later#This is just how telemachus shows affection so of course he does it to athena#Odysseus:...child you know she's not really here right? You've gotten concussions from doing that quit it#Telemchaus: but 🥺🥺 what if I stop an Athena thinks I don't love her anymore 🥺🥺😭#Odysseus: visibly having a flash back to how Athena treated him at 20 (bodily yeeting him Into the palace wall for funsies#To teach him about sneak attacks). Kid I promise she does not care#Athena: trying to stroking telemachus's hair muttering to herself gently gently were going to be so gentle this time. Just like we practice#Athena: It's okay telemachus we just have to teach you how to fall properly so you don't get hurt I love your leans#Odysseus: losing his goddamn mind he's NOT jealous of his son he's NOT were was this when Athena was training him as a child???
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I am exhausted, good heavens.
#hey watch this neat trick I can do [cries]#love that for me#BUT#BUT- the actual EFFORT I put these days to not make a suicide jokes is *chefs kiss* phenomenal#actively shitting bricks as I physically have to stop myself from saying I want a car to hit me for the 50th time that day#I am not progressing any more than I am downgressing or whatever the opposite word is. but girlies#and boysies and peepsies#my lipgloss is popping and my eyebags are gucci- and so I shall prevail#MAN this tiredness is BONE DEEP man- it's like it's engraved into my goddamn clavicles#sorry that was like the only bone name I could remember- I don't even know what a clavicle is#anyways- I need to fall asleep forever and never wake up. But not in like a dying way#I just need to stop waking up tired and being tired and going to sleep tired and living tired like GIRL#WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SLEEP STOPS SLEEPING#I JUST SLEPT 10 HOURS HOW ARE YOU STILL TIRED#I am so tired that i stopped liking shit- like that SUCKS my dudes#I sometimes Don't Like art now and that is WILD to me because that was lowkey the One Thing that got me going#I used to actually LIKE english class! and reading Shakespear and shit!!!! and history class!! Now I don't!! Where did the spark go??????#Now everything feels like a chooooooore and it sucks major dick#and my graaaades are slipping because I stopped giving a damn but I NEED. TO. GIVE. A. DAMN#because those are like highkey lowkey and every-other-key my grades and I need them to go into uni so I don't die <333#I need to spite little mini me who said I wasn't going to live past 13 because BITCH- guess how old I'm turning next week????????#THAT'S RIGHT- 17 YEARS OLD- FUCK YEAH BABY I'M STILL NOT DEAD#SUCK MY BIG ASS SHLONG MINI-ME#and then I have a big biology exam the day after so- funnnnn!!#anywho- should I tag this as vent? this probably counts as vent right? like among us? impostor and shit?#sorry I think my brain is actively rotting out of my ears right now#vent post#personal vent#tw vent#tw sui talk
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Honestly, I'm really grateful that my brain isn't wired to jump from hyperfixation to hyperfixation. It has its own unique drawbacks, sure, but I've always found it really comforting that I know what to expect from myself.
#falling out of love with my own projects is something I find really oddly horrifying#but the only time I really ever stop loving something is if the thing itself gives me a reason not to like it#the only reason I ever really stopped doing VOH fanart is because the fandom for it dried up completely and my my job at the time demanded#all of my art attention#i've still drawn the characters a few times since then tho#I still love them with all of my heart lol#same with slayers and sailor moon#and ofc my love for dmc revs back up into action every time a new game comes out#(looking at the reboot) not you#been hyperfixated on resident evil since 1996 lol#killer instinct since 1994#god now that's a thing why have I never done modern killer instinct fanart? Sabrewulf's new design is a chef kiss#I've got my ancient KI fanart from the 90s have I ever posted it for you guys lmao it's amazing. all the love a 10 year old can pour#as we speak I have some of my voh doujin [hush you they're clean/story driven ones] on my desk bc I was reading through them again#anyway my point is... there's a few things I fell out of love with ofc#but those were all for actual 'story jumped the shark/tied to a bad experience' reasons#I'm thankful that my exact form of audhd doesn't come with jumping hyperfixations#ofc this means you're stuck with soli#stuck with it forever#(villainous thunderclash)#I love tumblr's post culture most of this post is in the goddamn tags
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stressed
I have to fight family again
#everybody hates meeeee#tomorrow is going to be so fucked#aunt literally said i tried to kill her???????? bro idk what to do with a person like that#im really really stressed#like it never got to physical violence or anything but im always scared it will cause it's just#getting more and more heated and i know she literally hates me right now#like usually she does the whole spiel about loving me sooo much but now she's convinced that#I'm against her#well i am#fuck that bitch#but well she's acting like a freaking cartoon villain#oh wel#well#but goddamn im really stressed rn#ok whatever i just needed to vent it's probably going to be fine#but like#i do feel like I'm planning a grand escape rn#and it SUCKS ASS#i really want to cut that woman out of my life or actually out of all of our lives cause she's just#traumatizing one person after the other#god i cant wait to be away from her so i can freaking relaxxx ToT#i can't believe i let myself fall for her tricks every single time and just believe shes good now AURGG#ok ok i just needed to vent this is so unreal for me rn I've been so stressed for days this is so frantic#whatever goodbye lmaooooooo#vent
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the day that daniel girlies stop putting so much stock in every little thing nate saunders says is the day i'll know peace
#DID WE ALL FORGET THAT HE WAS *SO SURE* DANIEL WAS GOING TO MERC LAST FALL#sure he got some exclusives from daniel's camp but that doesn't mean every fucking word that comes out his mouth is the be all end all!!!#use your brains besties!!!!#if nate saunders has one hater i am her etc literally just cause the response is so fucking annoying every goddamn time 😭#mine#m:text#silly season24
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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i made him too moe so now i must put him into the blender
#wtfff :/#this is before fall. so he hasn't gotten his old man fail twink swag#hess just a reg twink. disgustang!!!!!!#i haaave 2 laff bc i hc tht luci HAD to be a bit toned bc he deals with michaels rough housing and yet#and yet every time i draw prefall luci he looks so delicate. sorry man ur brother absolute broke u like a goddamn toothpick
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boy i tell ya what this ankle is causing problems
#mowing the lawn for the first (possibly last if i leave here) time this season#idk why it’s hurting so goddamn much ive cleaned the whole house w this fucked up ankle#perhaps it’s bc there’s so many bumps the lawn here is NOT flat at all#i keep freaking out thinking im gonna crank my ankle and fall down or smth#so every ten minutes i come inside to make myself stop freaking myself out#and i stg this shit is gonna take 2 hours at this point#my body function properly challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)
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Who the hell designed the dragons in House if the Dragon
What the fuck are those wings
#worst of all Syrax has pretty normal realistic wings so they very much could've done it for the other dragons#none of these bitches look like they could fly#literally every time I see any of the HotD dragons in flight I think about how the hell does their spine work#and their body just. flops#and there's so many scenes where their tails are dragging across ground or over water in flight like girl!!!#why are you slowing yourself down!!! why are you increasing your drag so much you're gonna fall from the goddamn sky#not to mention caraxes like what even is that design#he'd work if in addition to being so damn long he was the *only* dragon with spoon wings to make him look freakier compared to others#also wth are those leg wings#especially when his legs just hang limply in flight#who the hell was in charge of the dragon designs holy hell
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I'm so tired.
Bonus meme under cut:
This is both for him in general (or at least the fanon version dominating fics) and extra for him as Robin specifically tbh. Let him grow up and find an identity outside of being Bruce's emotional support child. It's not like it's actually helping anymore anyways.
#I really minimized the fanon Tim things in there.#Not the least of which including making their age difference wider so Jason can angst over beating up “a kid” despite only being 2 yrs apar#Overemphasizing Tim's “genius” and making Jason stupid & incompetent & everything he does is wrong#Skewed interpretations of the emotional & moral conflict in UTRH/between Jason & Bruce that somehow Tim fixes#Ceo Tim Drake “boohoo Dick wouldn't believe me that Bruce was alive (tho I never actually gave him my evidence abt that)”#WHICH FOR THE RECORD EVEN TIM HAD DOUBTS ABOUT HE JUST HAD TO BELIEVE OR ELSE HE'D FALL APART.#LIKE THE ENTIRETY OF RED ROBIN IS STRUCTURED TO CAST DOUBT ON TIM'S JUDGEMENT THE WHOLE TIME.#ITS NOT LIKE THIS KID DOESNT FAMOUSLY HAVE A HISTORY OF NOT TAKING GRIEF WELL. GESTURES AT THE FAILED SUPERBOY CLONES.#Sidenote I saw a post about ignoring that Tim was a sexist earlier on in his comics & tbh I think youre only allowed to do that if you dont#Woobify him. Like if you want to ignore that but overfocus on every bad thing ppl have done to him then fuck off#Also have you considered that him being sexist but growing out of it is a POSITIVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ARC that could be interesting?#Wally for example had some really bigoted views bcs of how he was raised but grew out of & its why I always loved him#Frankly if you want to talk about Jason doing unforgivable injuries on the younger kids let's go to Battle for the Cowl#But then you'd have to scknowledge bad (worse) things happened to Damian too & Timmy isn't special now wouldn't you?#Look I'm not asking for every goddamned fic to be comics accurate but can we just not commit character assassination so consistently#That it's fucking impossible to find fic that *isnt* like that?#Fuck I don't even understand how people find this version of Tim engaging. It's funny for memes but an actual plot?#Managed to switch my “I think Tim is a little boring (neutral to affectionate)” to “I think Tim makes things boring (derogatory)”
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astarion: i can't tell if tav is being avoidant or if i'm just being completely incomprehensible and off putting to talk to.
lae'zel: tchk, it is clearly the latter.
me, trying desperately not to romance him again:
#astarion#laezel#bg3#i swear to god i fall into his trap every goddamn time#i have to play without him in my party for the first act to avoid romancing him
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they should invent a day with enough hours in it for me to get all my tasks done without having to turn into a joyless husk
#bolo speaks#I don't wanna get too specific here but I do not have the option of not having a job. full stop I cannot afford it#and I'm a full time college student too. so in practice I go to work every morning and then immediately to class and don't have any real#free time until the evening. so I've got a goddamn nine to five#and THEN when I get back to my dorm I'm naturally tired if only from being out all day and just want to rest 😭 but I still have assignments#AND I need to get to sleep at a reasonable hour for work in the morning the next day#I can either fall behind on my schoolwork or Eliminate what free time I get for the majority of the work week#girl help.
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it's only night 2 of me having moved out of home for the first time and i'm already having a full-blown breakdown about it
#txt#sorry to vent post but i just!!!! wish i could experience any change in life like a regular person!!!!#and not fall into a depressive anxiety filled pit every goddamn time#also my friend that i moved out with has her girlfriend over tonight and it's making me ache for that kind of intimacy that i've never had#🙃🙃🙃#i just wish my anxiety didn't ruin everything all the time#also i miss my cat 😔#wish i was capable of feeling any kind of positive emotion right now
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