#and i dont know if its worth it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I'm making a full post about this because I think it's important. I've reblogged other posts on this topic, but this is my own experience because trans man apparently can't be artists without our own communities ripping us apart for it.
I'm mainly an actor, but I do music on the side. I've been in 5 stage productions, a commercial, and a short film. For music, I've done a few gigs at charity events, won a community talent competition, and made some money on the side as a street performer. So I feel decently confident in saying that I'm fairly good at what I do.
When I talk to other trans people about my desire to build a resume that doesn't out me as a trans, and to market myself as a gay actor and not a trans one, I'm called a traitor to the community. And told that I'm depriving trans kids of a role model. Nevermind the cis queer people who think I'm stealing roles from 'real' gay men.
What they don't understand is that work for trans men does not exist. The modern professional canon of dramatic work does not include a single trans man. Not one. I cannot work as a trans man. The best I can hope for is what I've been getting the last year and a half, small background characters whose gender doesn't matter.
When I won the community talent competition for my music, I was told afterward that it was a shame that I won because "the last thing the queer community should be celebrating is another guy with an acoustic guitar". Several people in the trans social group I started attending agreed with that sentiment, telling me to stop playing altogether and saying "the world doesn't need anymore straight men with acoustic guitars". (Side note: I'm gay and explained that but the consensus of the people there was that trans men can't be gay because we're still 'female' (side note to the side note: all of the other people in this group were trans women lesbians and did not see the irony in that)).
I dont understand how other queer people can contribute to this without realizing the harm. I would ask how trans masc artists are supposed to want to keep creating their art but I think that's the point.
#transandrophobia#transmisandry#its just hard you know#i havent been able to work consistently#between transphobia within the industry#and my ex roommate making things difficult while i was living with him#and then having to completely take a step back and put my career on hold#and now im trying to plan for the future#and i dont know if its worth it#i know im not going to be happy doing anything else#ive tried#but im an actor and thats where i need to be#but is it really worth it to force myself into something where im clearly not wanted?#op
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
hate when you find a character whose so infuriatingly Your Type that its embarrassing like yeahg no one is gonna be surprised when i announce this is my new Guy Of The Month
#shush jesse#EDIT from future me: this post was about astarion but im fully a galegirl (gendy neutch) now so idk what that says#he's also my type for what its worth#this post abt astarion#hes just so painfully on brand for me#i know so little about him though is the thing but i still feel insane#but i cant play the game and i dont want to watch anyone play it and i dont want spoilers#so like.....secondhand blorbo right now
119K notes
·
View notes
Text
drawing ladynoir to heal my soul
#ml#miraculous ladybug#miraculous#ladynoir#ladybug#cat noir#chat noir#my art#ml s6#ml s6 spoilers#<- bc of the suits? i still dont know if its worth tagging that#i technically used a palette on this but only loosely so you. CANT. TELL
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm exactly as normal about him as I thought I'd be
#my art#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun vash#vash#tristamp#trigun stampede fanart#trigun fanart#idk the tags fr this fandom sorry its babys first trigun#im not abandoning jjk but expect more other stuff sprinkled in!! including trigun <333 including him <3#ANYWAY IM SOOOOO NORMAL ABTHIM IM SO NORMAL I PROMISE#im lying im sorry im feral about him i want unspeakable things done 2 him it was over the moment i heard his voice#but [redacted] thoughts aside#hes so fun to draw oh my god how did they make a character Exactly For Me how did they make one that ticks all my boxes#hes blond but like i can work with it i will get good at rendering blond hair for him <333 hes worth it <333333#i was cruisin along mindin my business having fun learning how 2 draw him and then i get 2 the arm . +24hrs to total drawtime#all my cheats ...my safety net of being able 2 use flesh to disguise th fact that u dont reeeeally know where tendons or joints go...#out th window. this prosthetic is practically an anatomically correct model. u can see EVERYTHINg#put my entire me into trying to figure it out h i think it is ok i think i like it#god i rly cant get over how he's just a combination of all the fun parts of drawing yuuji megumi AND gojo#he is the center of their triple venn diagram and i am EATING HIM ALIVE#sorry ill calm down .... fr now.... smile :)
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
this place is so fruity
#ive had this in my drafts for MONTHS#im not really that confident in how the pose looks so I settled on stopping here#I wish I got to see them interact more but it was so exciting to see Franziska being nicer and a little conscientious since the last game#i knw the main idea in the games is to help ppl we barely know and go thru all this trouble than just dismiss it bc we dont think#its worth the effort but theres also the way this shapes how characters interact and develop relationships with each other#even though i know maya and franziska are like strangers to each other given how theyve barely talked to each other in canon#using what the game tells me abt them and thinking abt how they would interact in a believable way than what they already have#is something i really appreciate abt the ace attorney series. in canon these guys only ever have a reason to interact bc of#circumstances that force them to. canon is a suggestion to me and if smth fanon feels believable to me i could not care less#aa#ace attorney#doodles#my art#myart#franmaya#maya fey#franziska von karma
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
They're judging their sibling's life decisions, and they are not impressed.
(And to think Jason and Dami have pit-madness in their system)
#color study#My fanarts levels depends on my adhd serotonin#Procastination it is#But they are so prettyyy so i am happy#dc comics#damian wayne#fanart#dc#robin#jason todd#red hood#If i dont doodle my artstyle revert to anime and i need to restudy human face anatomy and sometimes i love it sometimes i dont#Right now i love it#apparently if i want to put two days worth of work on a fanart it doesnt look bad huh#Also been using orange and red again on my skintones...i have been warching this youtube shorts guy that gives advice for art corrections#And its great#Had mild colorblindness so dont know how it looked on you guys but for me it looked good enough#if i make it orange again then just blame it tk artistic freedom lol
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5c12c0d563f29b9a9765b9a9340c69a4/1c887051d0a660aa-b9/s540x810/6b71a166d3b4d43428809c9b5b8898cefbfef179.jpg)
#jerejean#fanart#all for the game#jeremy knox#jean moreau#FIRST TIME I DREW JEAN MOREAU EVERYONE BE NICE TO ME#i specifically gave him a haircut in this because last we know his hair is still uneven#so this is the product of catlaila having taken him to a barber and surprising Jeremy with Jean (undercut) instead of Jean (Uneven)#EYE think its charming ... but it also implies Post Sunshine court events so.#I'm a happy gal im a happy girl i like to think happy things#yes that IS bark bark on the sweaters#yes Jeremy DID get them custom made#yes it WAS a ridiculous price#YES IT WAS WORTH IT STOP ASKING JEREMY THAT!!!#anyway. I will probably do catlaila and sethison#aaanndd danmatt and nickyerik version of this as well#jurys out on andreil because i dont believe they would participate in matching sweaters#OUT OF FESITIVITY RELATED STUFF RATHER THAN GENERAL MATCHING#like do they gaf about christmas like that... idk.....#but we shall see.#other fandoms#other fandoms: all for the game
503 notes
·
View notes
Text
why are people not reblogging on the reblog site?
#smh#love seeing nothing but likes in my notifs#yes im a bit bitter about it#dori txt#not that i need to explain myself but#this is not *just* about gifsets - its about everything on this site#and if you tell me not everything is *worth* reblogging ill block you#noone said that you need to rb something you dont like#and i dont think tumblr should give you 'incentive' such as badges to rb (i dont even know what to say to this take its that dumb)#the sole purpose of this site is to create and/or share with others#if you dont get that thats sad
390 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi!! Your Cherik is so good and gorgeous 🤩🤩 If you don't mind wanna try to draw some Fall of X Cherik please?
thank you so much !!
i have a couple of ideas relating to the fall of x period specifically since theres. A Lot i wanna play with, so i hope this lil thing may be a satisfactory start :]]
and the obligatory bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#fall of x#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#for clarity on of this tag ramble im calling magneto max OK ok#sorry it took me a while to answer- ive been busy this week !#but yah like i said theres a lot of Fall Of X moments i wanna poke at#one i really wanted to doodle around was max's time with the shadow king from Resurrection of Magneto#the third issue is prob my fave in general if im so tbh .... but i wont prattle bout that ill go back to my previous prattle#i dont think i have a comic in mind prob just a doodle with shadow charles....#i mean if im devious enough i can def turn it into a comic but for now i just know i wanna do something with that#honestly even this moment i might revisit when i have more time to draw something. a lil better#i dont hate this its a sound start- but i THINK i wanna draw a smooch. a lil kiss. idk we'll see#cause im cheeky like that. 'will this be the last time i see you' 'girl idk we can kiss about it though' etc etc#god not to get off topic but im so curious what will happen with these two ... but thats for a diff post i guess#honestly if you guys have any runs i should read lemme know !! i just finished way of x and bar that ive just been reading the 60s issues#i have a couple on my list i wanna check out but im always excited to look into recs if yall think theyre worth it !!#but ya. thats all from me for now#my time is so finite this week i hope i can draw these sillies again soon .. i have a lot of ideas i fear#maybe i can sneak in one more doodle tonight ... <- doubtful
525 notes
·
View notes
Text
As I deepen my study with Chinese, the more I'm struck by how word meanings work. The monolingual USAdians I know or encounter online, who studied only as much as needed to get through school, really do seem to think languages are plug and play: know the word in both languages, and swap.
But that couldn't be further from the truth. There's on Chinese word, 稳当 (wĕn dang), that's really struck me for that. Because my flashcards give three translations for 稳当: reliable, secure, and stable. And in English these words are all fairly different! Clearly related but very much do not mean the same thing. How can one Chinese word mean these three different concepts? Well, of course, it doesn't. 稳当 means 稳当, some fusion of those three concepts we have words for in English but not quite any of them, that makes it appropriate to use in places where English would use any of those three. There are surely shades of meaning, and which interpretation of the meaning is most appropriate to a given context will be understood upon reading.
Now, expand this understanding - that a word doesn't mean (exact direct swap in English) but rather the word means the word, and we approximate it to the closest English equivalent we can - to *every single word in every single sentence in an entire book.*
Then translate that book.
Translation is an art, not a science, requiring tremendous verisimilitude in *both* languages, and an understanding of the story, and a deep familiarity with the culture (social, historical, linguistic, etc.) of the original work, and often knowledge of the authors intent (if possible to ascertain), and a range of other skills. Translation will always be interpretive and transformative, because (word in one language) doesn't precisely mean (word in another language). They're not "the same." If I present you a sentence with 稳当 in it, does it mean stable, reliable, or secure? Well that depends. On what? How it's being used, the surrounding context, other factors, and of course... the reader or translators interpretation.
It drives me insane when I see people present alternate translations as some kind of "gotcha" that one translator got things wrong. And don't get me wrong - of course some translations ARE just wrong, obviously if I translate 稳当 to mean "goldfish" I'm not interpreting I'm just incorrect. But beyond obvious mistakes, a world of nuance exists, and different translators can in good faith reach different conclusions on the most appropriate translation. This is WHY famous books not in English get translated repeatedly by different people, and why a reader would want to read multiple translations of the same work - to see, in different translations, some shadow of the wonderful nuance embodied by the original words that do not, and cannot, simply be swapped 1 to 1 for a perfect English translation. And this is *especially* true of a language like Chinese, which is ancient and beautiful and deeply steeped in understandings of Chinese history and literature.
Why do you think I and many others are studying Chinese for years? For me, it's all so I can read the actual books myself and get that much closer to the story, that much closer to my own interpretation. I'll never have the skills of a knowledgeable translator - this isn't my profession, it's my hobby - but I'll gleen things nonetheless and it's important to me to try.
Too many of yall disrespect those skills so much that you'll throw a sentence of a language you know nothing about into Google translate and then declare the translator Wrong (and sometimes Bad and Malicious) based on that.
稳当 means 稳当. It doesn't mean "reliable." It doesn't mean "the exact translation of 稳" plus "the exact translation of 当". It's a Chinese word with a Chinese definition that we retrofit English on to.
And the hardest part? Look, I'm still a Chinese novice. For all I fucking know, 稳当 actually MIGHT have three distinct definitions. Everything I said about it above might be wrong. I don't know enough Chinese yet to know for sure, and that's a level of nuance and understanding I'll only reach by reading more.
Multiply that by *every single word in both the original language and the language it's being translated into.*
That's what translation is.
Good luck.
#unforth rambles#translation#chinese langblr#ive been nursing this post for months in my head#nothing specific made me post it today#just my universal low level frustration with english speakers whove never translated anything in their lives#acting like they know literally anything and have an opinion worth listening to about translation#i used to do translation projects decently regularly when i was studying japanese#it is unfathomably hard and if you dont even know enough to recognize that its hard you really truly need to shut the fuck up
275 notes
·
View notes
Text
(voice of a man slowly losing his mind) does it ever strike you that the plot of aftg is moved by little acts of kindness kevin offered to people who never had any semblance of it before. loving riko when no one would, befriending jean in the nest and keeping him alive through debilitating amounts of trauma, telling andrew he was worth it in a dingy high school locker room, teaching neil every night even if he knew he was about to die
#if i think too much of it i need to throw up#i know i say kevin character of all times but im NOT JOKING. IM NOT#kevin is the one constant voice in the story that is telling these characters i think you are worth it#i think there is a future for you#i think you have a life worth living#and its fine if you dont care about him if you think hes mean if you think hes annoying#BUT ITS STILL TRUE YOU KNOW..........#its still true that when it mattered he was kind. when it mattered he was there to help#kevin dayyyy TT__TT#kevin day#all for the game#txt
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
scene from where the apple falls by @jupiters-junipers :-) wholeheartedly recommend any and all of her work
#klance#voltron#vld#ok now time to freak it in the tags#to be honest i saw colleen blogging her read of New and the two of us went back and forth in dms for like 20 mins straight#abt all the things we like abt europas work#and i was like okay i have to assert my membership in the europa fan club too hang on#ive had 'draw europa report scene' in my art to-do file for months but thbeyre all so good#i couldnt choose!#due west is obviously The One the flagship#but they all deserve love....#i tell you to be honest im a coward i usually avoid any unfinished fics cause i like to binge but for europas work its simply worth it#anyway i envy you if you dont know who im talking abt bc that means u get to read her work for the first time...sighs dreamily#art#my art#ANYWAY THIS ONE IS SAD. EUROPA UNDERSCORE REPORT YOU ARE A TWISTED INDIVUDAL (affectionate)#im putting my life in ur hands with those happy ending tags.... save me help me..... auuughghh...
701 notes
·
View notes
Text
soap's whole deal being sniper and demolitions gets me going bc on the surface they sound so different but when you get into it, you realise it's bc soap's smart
sniping is all math; calculating distances and wind interference and bullet drop. something i think people overlook is he was listed as a sniper first so it can be implied that he's better at it than demolitions. he does more sniping in both campaigns than demolitions work; in capture or kill, ghost specifically calls on him to take down the aq snipers
and demolitions is math with a hit of chemistry; knowing what mixes with what, knowing how much to use, recognising environmental factors and adjusting accordingly. it's not just about the boom; so much work goes into contained/ planned explosions. especially when having enough power for a breacher charge and not bringing down the whole building is the difference between mission success and failure
the chemical bombs he makes in alone can't just be any old cleaners, they have to have the correct reaction to each other; he just knew off the top of his head what would mix with what to create what reaction. he would also potentially have to recognise them by sight/smell bc they would’ve been written in spanish
soap would also have to know architecture; recognising structural integrity and weak points so he knows exactly where to plant a charge to bring it down and how it'll come down
he has an incredible soldier's mind people just forget that bc he's sociable which itself is a skill
we know he tends to buck against orders he doesn't agree with like when he pushes back against ghost in capture or kill and shepherd when he tells them to release hassan
he gets closer to people and sees if he can trust them and that's when he follows them without question. really think about how he talks to alejandro and rudy; he asks about their home and alejandro's family and rudy's relationship with him. those aren't questions you ask a stranger after a few hours of knowing them. that's not even touching on his relationship with ghost
he also deliberately brings people of higher ranks down to his level; talking informally with ghost and giving him a shoulder punch, addressing alejandro (a colonel!!) by his first name and rudy by his nickname despite literally just meeting them. he personalises all of them and it’s in direct opposition to the reason most characters do that; it’s not due to insubordination or lack of respect, the more he respects and trusts someone, the more casual he is with them
he digs into people; he wants to know what makes them tick and that determines if he can one, trust them and two, follow their orders. once he decides that, he's the ultimate soldier; he bleeds loyalty which makes him vicious when that loyalty is taken for granted
he isn't naive or bubbly or insecure; he's an incredibly smart and aware soldier. he's aggressive and bloodthirsty and loyal and intuitive and i love him so much
#i cant believe i never posted the soap meta that got me twitter famous™️💅#as with damn near every piece of characterisation in this franchise soaps is only apparent in subtext and connecting tiny little dots#it is very easy to just pick up his surface personality and think thats all he is#but soaps not a sunshine character#hes not super friendly or bright#hes just willing to talk to people and hes paired up with ghost who never wants to start a conversation#every time i see soap presented as this bubbly airhead thats super sweet and just blows stuff up i lose a year off my life#and i dont blame people for getting this vibe from him but im begging you to look a lil deeper#this isnt getting into his anger or the fact that he is a soldier which automatically makes him a wee bit fucked up#like he is hyperviolent and takes joy in it#we all know ghosts snuff film joke but soaps the one who responds positively to it#he returns the joke and only calls him out on it when he says he wont watch it more than once and even then its teasing not grossed out#and if we take the ‘he tried to join the military at 16’ factoid from 09 as current canon then he very easily could have a rough home life#no one tries to repeatedly join the military early without having some kind of problems#soap knows his worth and his abilities you dont get to be as good and specialised as he is without being completely sure of yourself#we know ghost has an ego but soap constantly butts up against it with his own affirmations#‘you wanna be better than me johnny’ ‘maybe i already am/i will be’ ‘a little helps not so bad eh lt’#being a sniper makes me hate the ‘cant sit still’ hc hes literally an sas sniper he wouldnt be complaining after a few hours of overwatch#i like the adhd hc and maybe he fidgets in his day to day life but the second hes at work hes At Work#tldr soap could be just as complex a character as ghost if cod would stop treating their campaigns as an afterthought and actually commit#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#john soap mactavish#soap cod#cod mw2#soapghost#save post#call of duty modern warfare#cod meta
605 notes
·
View notes
Text
i havent drawn anything worth posting in a while hi ^__^ erm..... are texans always this strange and unusual?
#reverse 1999#reverse 1999 spoilers#????????????#i love being a gacha gamer goodlord. its like embarrassing how much my brain likes them.#it all started with bandori.......... i can never escape now.#esp as like. a video game design student. i recognise most of these games have like no good gameplay. but i cant help it...its fun..#i love logging in for like 5 minutes every day doing my stupid dailies and thats it. maybe repeat that once more in the afternoon#im yappiiingggg anyways the new reverse update is nice#they should go back to europe tho pspspsps come to the balkans ^_^ we have so much drama worth exploring.#i liked argus but mostly in the scenes where they werent trying to make her look cool....just a nice lady overall. id like to hang out w he#i think im gonna start posting more ocs from now on tho.... def on my brain more#i know people barely interact with those posts of mine but who gaf#or maybe pjsk since its slowly creeping its way back into my brain. mizukiwhen i fucking get you.mizuki#ermmm ok thats all i have to say for now adios#(dont read the rest of these its embarrassign)#argus reverse 1999#tuesday reverse 1999#wtf is that other girls name#kimberly reverse 1999#i think idk#shes so fun wtf is wrong with you.#art i made
148 notes
·
View notes
Text
DTS S6E1 "Money Talks" - Fernando Alonso & Lance Stroll
#thought i might as well gif these#only thing in that ep worth gifing.....#cant say im not disappointed#but ill take my chances where i cna get them again#but was literally fighting in the trenches making these#gifing shows is just infinitely worse than gifing race stuff#especially since yknow this just came out today so i had to figure out how to clip it#so if its a bit choppy thats why ah#i love how fernando is such a manlet that i kinda had to crop lance out bcs i wanted to focus on nando LOL#like its so odd bcs he really doesnt look that much shorter than lance on stage in the first two#but in the last two hes literally tiny???? literally two apples tall??????#anywyas dont know if ill gif anymore of this show. it annoys me too much to watch anymore and i dont know if theres anymore of my guys#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#lance stroll#strollonso#we do a little bit of f1
888 notes
·
View notes
Text
god ok also gotta say as a choreographer, whoever did the superbowl choreo was a fucking GENIUS like. it manages to be so effective without ever being flashy or complicated & like. flashy & complicated are great but to do the basics this effectively is PHENOMENAL. the repeated motifs are so striking and so strong and so CLEAR in their meaning its PAINFULLY effective - the contrast of more relaxed dancers just vibin and having a good time at the beginning & end, when its just people being themselves vs. "what america wants" - disquieting, emotionless, rigid lines of soldiers throwing salutes while kendrick & sza are singing on stage in the middle, keeping the people entertained & distracted as the goose-stepping dancers circle like sharks
and thats not to even mention the SCALE - working with such crisp colour lines in such an ENORMOUS group is staggering to even fathom like. making sure all the reds are in the right place at the right time & you dont have someone who was a blue in one section but accidentally wound up in the white group somewhere in the shuffle....... the formations are UNBELIEVABLY complex & span such an enormous space, its mind blowing to think about. over a hundred dancers. over a HUNDRED people to keep track of at all times to make sure they're getting from one place to another in the right way at the right times in the right formations. over a HUNDRED.
the dancers executed FLAWLESSLY too - taking big steps and remaining PERFECTLY in line is incredibly hard & they made it look effortless. the amount of split-second transitions to nail and vibe-shifts to hit.... oh my god. also shot to the camerapeople who were working their asses off on those transitions just as much as kendrick & the dancers were
also thinking of scale like... arena choreography and stage/film choreography are VERY different things. on a stage or in a music video etc. you have ONE front. at most on a big stage the audience might wrap slightly around the sides but generally speaking, you're choreographing for the people or camera in front of you, and they're gonna have a pretty good view of your face the whole time. arenas are MASSIVE, and there are people on ALL SIDES. you can't pick A Front, you have to be entertaining people all around you simultaneously, which means completely rethinking how things are structured. you also can't rely on detail nearly as much, because the audience is Really far away. even if there are screens, you want to make sure that there's something to look at on the stage itself, so the audience doesn't feel like they're just watching a music video. it's still a live show & you want it to feel like one
so theres a balance to strike between giving the individual artist focus & acknowledging that they literally... can't face every direction at once. even if kendrick is facing away, there are always dancers doing something that'll be visually striking at a distance for the audience to enjoy. but at the same time because there ARE cameras, it also has to work for video & HAVE those detailed up-close elements, so the footage doesn't just look like a guy bopping around with people walking past him for the whole time. the most effective example i can think of is in peekaboo - the groups of white-clothed dancers in the X is visually strong from a distance - even if you can't see exactly what's going on, it's an interesting visual, whereas up close you have the strong music video feel of kendrick popping up out of nowhere; of all these different up close groups of dancers giving their full performance directly to one front while that front is rotating from one group to another, as opposed to the multiple surrounding fronts on the main stage. it transitions from an arena show to a music video (and then back when he walks out onto the main stage with that trail of dancers so the visual is most effective from above rather than up close) SO EFFORTLESSLY and makes absolutely brilliant use of the space
this is literally jsut stream of consciousness it could definitely all be phrased better & honestly i could keep talking for a Long time like i didnt even get in depth abt the use of colour in the costuming & the way every costume is slightly unique in the up close shots but when you pan out to the stadium they become lines of clones like. god i could go on!!!! i coudl go on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its a masterpiece choreographically fr its elegant its communicative its mindbogglingly complex ive watched it five times now trying to absorb as much as i can
#chewing on my hands chewing on my hands chewing on my hands#i also watched a video of t-pain reacting & he said this is the kind of choreo/staging he wants at coachella so expect a trend coming#(honestly the t-pain video is worth watching its very funny he spends the whole thing basically going. ''this is so good i hate you'')#(and roasting kendrick for only knowing 3 dance moves lmao)#kendrick lamar#long post#lmao oops i went on way longer than expected#honestly dont Ever ask me about any dance video unless you want this kind of speech
127 notes
·
View notes