#and i dont have the space for it on my laptop if i want to keep ffxiv & dh2
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BNUUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#outfits r from horikoshi's new year drawing ofc ..#also i wanted to add kiri+todo but i ran out of space#ALSO. i dont have my laptop for a week. so. yall r getting traditional art only for a bit#bnha#mha#midoriya izuku#jirou kyouka#uraraka ochako#fan art#becki draws stuff n stuff
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hey bestie hows it going :)
hai kai howre u :3
its !! going. second week of classes finished . im exhausted as fuckeroni but im surviving. somehow. the power of anime boys or smth idfk .
did u know i had to install fortnite for one of my classes. fortnite, kai! i've avoided touching that game since it came out!!!!!! and yet. one of the little engine things we use in intro to game design is UEFN (unreal editor for fornite) which requires u to have fortnite 😔 my epic games account is forever tainted. or something equally as dramatic.
its fine tho my laptop's too shit to run UEFN so i only actually have fortnite installed on a school computer in one of the labs. lmao.
#like i think my laptop could actually handle it i just dont actually care enough to clean the hard drive space for it and whatnot#but then again even the lab computers struggle so like. maybe not. doesn't matter im not installing it on my laptop anyway sdjghskdgs#also the epic games store kept asking me to get parental consent to get the fallout games (bc they were giving away the like classic titles#for free) and its like. what fucking parent im 19 turning 20 in a month. i am the parental consent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it did eventually work tho. so now i have those. i guess. <- does not even have the epic games store installed on vamps laptop#also. im sleepy. but such is fate#also i rlly want to get paid already i need money to order the other plushie i've arbitrarily decides completes my ritsukasa set#fucken....... vampire bat cat plushie and snow angel cat plushie.............
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Watching my laptop try n back up on a hard drive I stole from an older laptop like... pls work this time
#i dont want to go out and spend money on a new hard drive. is the thing#this one is 1tb it should b fine right... thats the same size as my current laptops hard drive n i have oodles of empty space on her#but also like. its creating a system image And backing up my files which i feel means it could come out larger#idk !!! watever. ill let it run ill go put down dinner ill clean my room while watching pkmn
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Oh well thanks mom that totally made my mood better. /sarc
#i know i started this school shit back in august and im only on lesson 2 for most of my shit. i know im going to fail everything next year.#you dont have to bring it up every single fucking day. i know im not doing anything about it. but i want you to know that it makes me spira#every time i open the laptop. it feels like im barely even alive sometimes#the internet is my only safe space where i can talk about everything going on. i cant believe i dont feel safe to talk about everything#ive self diagnosed myself with to my own parents. i cant keep fucking doing this anymore i just want to feel normal#not so silly sillytalking#tw vent#vent#sorry for the rant in the tags#i just dont feel too well about stuff right now. sorry#edit: it probably sounds like im being over dramatic. whoops.
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I need name suggestions for my Argonain, somethin like a sweet food or dessert. I'm also going to focus soley on completing the main story line simply cause I've never actually completed it before. I fucked it up on my first save, I wanted to do the 'neutral' option but got stuck joining the Legion side somehow, I've never progressed to actually get the war leaders in the same room.
I'm gonna play Skyrim on the Xbox 360, no DLC all vanilla so I can say I played (almost*) all versions.
#*still cant mod thou#I really want a gaming PC but do not have the space of money for one#nor the knowledge#no I will NOT build one I WILL fuck it up#i dont know jackshit about computers idek how my laptop works#Skyrim#Elder Scrolls#tes#tesv
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didnt realize how much i needed to just. make low-stakes art again. its been really fun to just whip out procreate and draw my ocs, be cringe, draw whatever and no one will have to see it
as much as i like making my big fully rendered pieces, it is nice to not always have something thats gonna be a Big Deal in the works
#my sketchbook is my usual place for low effort stuff but ive been enjoying having a separate space for low effort digital stuff#i just associate csp on my laptop with the Big Stuff. which makes me less like to draw/finish silly stuff#having a separate place to draw the silly low effort stuff is nice#its nice to get away from basically only making stuff i want to post#bc even though everything i draw IS for me and something i want to make#i just like escaping the expectation to post it#same reason i dont mention my sideblogs by name. i like feeling all secret and anonymous#like no one knows what im doing and they never will
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realizing i haven't send dance ask from krumb. what am i evening doing?
#ooc.|| faty speaks#[arrest me now#[how dare me#[wow#[the prince trope and i just kicked it out of my brain#[ROLLS SLEEVES. I DONT NEED TO POST A THING I KNOW MY PEEPS LETS FRICKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#[but ye if u wanna dance with krumb l got u fam let me know teehee#[oh god i feel stupid. thanks chrom. u usually nag the heck out of my brain#[oh. i see.#[it is something yo are not good at thats why u kept quiet huh#[ i see it now. asshole. i will not forgive you#[BUT YOU WANT YOUR ORANGES NAGA SMITE U CHROM#[smh.#[ok enough ranting here.#[blamewarstagihopeshedoesnotseeit#[sending extra things because i have been mia here#[swwwooooyy ;a;#[we will get the groove back soon#[i just hate my laptop because it is getting cluttered with school work and it kills the space and everything in it#[i want to save up and buy an external hard disk for school work because ... THERE IS A LOT#[i underestimated word files for worksheets exams lesson plans etc...frick
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breaking news: local man and chronic overpacker (me) just packed all their clothes for a 9 week summer camp job in One Small Duffle Bag
#i am VERY proud of this#theres even still some space#which means I get to bring all the othr random shit I dont need but want to have with me#like. uhhh fossils#and every art supply i own pretty much including my large embroidery project#i do have another bag (medium sized backpack) but that is reserved for essentials like Laptop and Giant Ikea Bear
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Cat is in my lap now so I'll take a tablet when she inevitably decides I've betrayed her and gets up
#txt#i had too much sugar today so idk#i dont want to sit here all night until i get tired#im not crying all day anymore so im not emotionally exhausted enough to just pass out#my aunty is apparently addicted to sleeping tablets and i dont want to be like that#nothing on her at all#just saying#idk sleeping is hard and was hard enough when i had someone with me and cuddling me#being ignored today stung#even tho i said id give him space#what does he expect really lmao he was with me for 8 years so he has to know imma have shit to say to him#most of it was about booping and my laptop being broken#so#it just hurrrrts#he better be ignoring everyone else too otherwise it is personal#which is bad#if hes just ignoring his phone then whatever yk
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So I may or may not have spent a good chunk of my day trying to learn how to look into onis code and while I may not have yet succeeded I will likely keep fucking around with shit tomorrow and if I manage to succeed it'll spell great doom for my sanity as oni becomes the interest I've officially poured the most effort into analyzing
#rat rambles#oni posting#for now I must sleep but hopefully tomorrow Ill figure out how to decompile files#the real question is going to be if Ill be able to do this on my shitty ass laptop or if Ill need to figure smth else out#I just want to be able to view stuff so ideally it won't make my laptop chug too bad but rly Im more worried abt space#I might have to try to do some cleanup and delete some shit maybe Ill go scan through the shit that came pre installed#and hey maybe if I can get this to work I can go mega hacker mode and tweak some stuff for funsies#probably wont since I don't wanna break my game and I dont trust myself but yknow#itd probably help if I actually retained any information from the Two programing classes I took when I was younger but alas#one of them was even specifically a video game programming class and lemme tell you I remember absolutely nothing#also from what little I was able to view without fancy applications I have no new info but I can finally fully put jean in the we 100% know#their last name zone cause while we definitely already 100% did Technically we only got jea- for first name confirmation#but theyre referred to as jean in a note in a bio bot story traits file ty whoever added the notes there#god I hope theres other notes in the files I want to read those so bad#btw this was all spurred by that one nails log that disappeared cause I have found a file that looks like it but I cant fully view it#and I desperately need to view it I need to view it#also if I can look in the code then in theory itll make copying down all the lore logs easier#also the datamining thread of the forums hasnt been particularly active so who knows maybe I can become a proper dataminer#(<- will not do that probably unless it turns out to be easier than I thought)#but admittedly I am interested in hunting for potential future update content even if I probably won't hunt too hard for it#again Im mostly just hunting for lore#hey maybe if Im lucky Ill find some genuinely new and usable information in that department#maybe the secrets of b363 and dr. holland lie in the files ooooo (they probably dont)#man it'd be nice if I had a proper pc itd make my life so much easier and my desk feel less enpty lol#in a world where I get to play videogames at a higher framerate than 10fps#I mean we do have some older computers laying around the house although theyre probably also crusty pieces of shit#idk maybe I can see if I can salvage one itd be nice to have a proper computer to fuck about with#Im sure my mom wouldn't mind as long as its one that hasnt been touched in years#which tbf I dont know how many options thatd leave me but we at least have one computer that could theoretically be usable#albiet its definitely packed with viruses from me and my siblings being dumb kids
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the 22 gb of space left on my laptop begging me to clear my filez az i download yet another video game
#unsure hwat course of action to take here fellaz#i can clear out filez all i want but how much of that would actually Help#ive been planning for a day to just sit down and sweep the place but still#any suggestionz? /gen. im not ready to give up my laptop yet just bcoz itz got shit space left in it#i mean she workz perfectly fine and i JUST updated her ram so i really dont wanna have to replace her if i dont HAVE to.#shez served me well the past 3 yearz and i NEED her to continue serving me well for at LEAST 3 more#im thinking maybe external harddrivez but im not too sure how thatd work for laptopz since im. really tech illiterate#genuinely if you all have any idea what to do about thiz lmk! im open to suggestionz#kitkat chitchat
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EEEEP!!!! I'M GETTING A GAMING LAPTOP!!!!!
#i dont want a pc bc 1) it's expensive and 2) we dont have any space for it and 3) idk shit about PCs#also my ps5 will be my main gaming platform but i want a laptop that can support gaming bc i still have stuff on steam#if it can run apex and the sims well I'll be fine with it alfnskdnskdj#my mom is gonna call my brother up and have him search for one bc he knows everything about that shit
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when you try to art but then you realize you gotta do like 5 things that AREN'T actual drawing just to be able to finish your piece and you're like.... yeah no.
#i draw smth traditionally and then if i wanna make it digital it's like#hhhhhh#i gotta take picture of it now#and resize smaller it so ibispaint doesnt lag and die on me#and then you gotta upload it on ibispaint#and then deal with the app closing out every 5 seconds bc you accidently clicked the wrong thing and made it crash#okay thats a bit of an exaggeration#but still#i just wanna DRAW i hate having to do anything else#ugh and then if i want ppl to see my art i gotta turn bluetooth on and send it to my laptop and then turn bluetooth off#on both so they dont die#and THEN upload it online#cause my phone sucks and will lag online sm that it's actually worse to try to upload it straight from there#plus#things lagging will 100% be the death of me#i hate it sm i start pulling at my hair sometimes#hghvgjbh#and my phone has no storage space ever#art things#art#ibispaint#ibispaint x
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me?? juggling two hyperfixations and two special interests?? its more likely than you think
#trying to remind myself that i dont actually have to rewatch tfp for the 3rd time in 2 weeks because. i dont know#and then ultkl as the other hyperfix#and xiv & zelda are special interests#and im trying to navigate life. with 4 separate interests. drawing my attention#zelda is on hold bc im afraid of doing the final boss and i dont have anything else to do BUT#im helping my stepbrother almost daily. so its still part of it all#also having a mild dishonored resurgence but not on the same level as everything else i just. missed corvo#aaaand also tw3 bc of twn reminding me of how much i miss regis despite me not even watching the show#the only reason. i havent reinstalled borderlands 3. is because that game is sickeningly large#and i dont have the space for it on my laptop if i want to keep ffxiv & dh2#can you tell im going through it#something something back to simpler times when everything gets too much#god i need to get back to the witcher books. but id have to unpack for that. man#so much to do so little time#if dh2 ran at 60fps on ps5 i wouldve gotten it on ps5 so i can play it in my room instead of downstairs#which i shouldnt be allowed to complain about steady 30 because. ahaha. my laptop has frame drops!#it manages 60 generally (with most of the settings on low) but some areas drop to 40 & lower and. yeah#had the same with bl3#my dad said i can get his laptop in a couple of months which is a little stronger and by god i will be inserting extra storage#because holy fuck this isnt working
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i hate the come-down period after doing literally anything fun at all at any point in time. i went to a movie theater on friday and then to a convention on the following weekend, which was incredibly fun! i loved it! but there's always a come-down period, where everything feels awful because i know im going to be stuck in my house again, rotting away like always, unable to do anything outside of these walls for who knows how long. its hard to keep doing things i enjoy if i know that im just going to feel awful afterwards.
#i wanna be able to do things#but my sister is too picky and my mom is too tired and my friend needs to be involved in everything we do so we just. never do anything.#i do so much stuff alone because nobody wants to go or i dont trust anyone to actually follow through#my bike is out of order though and my mom seems to hate the idea of me using the bus system that i literally get to use for free#now. why can't i just do things inside my own home? it doesn't fuckin work out#the only place im really welcome in my own home is my bedroom. the bottom floor is for my friend and the rest of the family.#i dont have space to do much art up here and there isn't enough space for my other hobbies and i can't make too much noise because it'll -#- bother everyone and i cant call friends because everyone will listen in on my conversations and i don't have enough space to bring my -#- laptop and all its additions up to my desk#i have friends but i feel so isolated from them all. i feel like im going to completely fuck things up by trying to talk to any of them.#i always feel better when i can get out and do stuff but im rarely able to get out and do stuff and even then i feel bad once the stuff ends#so im trapped i guess. its a cycle that will never end. ill do something i love to cheer myself up only to feel even worse afterwards than -#- i did before.
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breaking news: local man and chronic overpacker (me) just packed all their clothes for a 9 week summer camp job in One Small Duffle Bag
#i am VERY proud of this#theres even still some space#which means I get to bring all the othr random shit I dont need but want to have with me#like. uhhh fossils#and every art supply i own pretty much including my large embroidery project#i do have another bag (medium sized backpack) but that is reserved for essentials like Laptop and Giant Ikea Bear
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