#and i don't want to cry
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in the airport to go home and i don't even feel sad just empty
#the depression resurfaced as soon as i got in the car actually#there were no tears but i made this tiny little whimpering sound when i got out of the car to unload my bag#and im so glad my parents didn't hear it bc im pretty sure i would have actually started crying if they had#and i don't want to cry#i don't really want to do anything#i bought a new book that i was so invested in while i was there and now i have no desire to read it#i played bg3 and ffxvi so much while i was there and i don't want to do that either#i had so many thoughts and wrote so many things for beau and kanver and i don't want to do that either#i just feel like lead#maybe when i get home and see my cat i'll cheer up#but i have 8ish hours of feeling empty until then
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I hate how fandom has become "if you haven't created anything in this very specific time frame after the release of the show/movie, everyone will have moved on"
And call me old fashioned, but that's just not me. I sometimes take ages to create and publish. And I will love a show or movie for such a long time (years, babes, years) that I just can't relate to the fast consumerism that's going on.
Because, let's be real, it can get really lonely in a fandom if most have simply moved on to the next shiny thing. Is what's created less worth, just because it was created outside the hype? Why is it such a taboo for this new fandom generation to love an old or "late" fic or art?
It's so tiring and I'm too old for the 30-seconds-hype-tiktok-shit. Just tired. So, so tired.
#semi rant#cry into the void#and no i'm not shaming young ppl in general#it's this new wave of people entering fandom which can happen at any age lbr#and I don't understand them nor do I want to atp#if you're wondering why you can't rb anymore: I switched it off bcuz people can't fucking read and piss me off with their dumb additions
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"I'll show you every day that choosing to live was worth it"
some of my favourite scenes from @hijinks-n-lowjinks' fic things i would miss from the other side . this fic tore my heart out fr but like in a good way and i wanted to pay it homage the only way i know how <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#I LOVE PLOTTING AND ALSO SCHEMING#listen i have a lot of feelings and i needed 2 process them and i do that by making art 2 target my mutuals directly#read my about it's there it's in the fineprint if we talk You Are Not Safe smile#i just . BITING BITING BITING this fic#the domesticity the grief the casual yet unfathomably deep soulmatism.......im ruined i tell u Ruined#so naturally i dropped everything#remember how i said lefts/rights r my enemy my beloathed my nemesis. MIRRORS MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE FHGDSAJFGJS I WANTED DEATH#i was like this is incorrect. no this is correct. flips them around in my head. no im wrong again actually#purgatory tbh but we got there (watch me be wrong again tho if i am wrong again i think i will Cry)#anyway!!! i don't have much else to say except pls read the fic and show jinx some love they 1000% deserve it this fic 1000% deserves it#i could only draw so many scenes but i would draw all of it if i could#fr i ws so paranoid abt accuracy lmao cut 2 footage of me looking up rice cooker models and wtf the colour 'carnelian' was#i hope i got everything right i hope i did it justice :'>#also if any1 mentions how megumi's arm in 3 is at an awkward angle. look me in the eye and tell me youve comfortably cuddled with someone#i will call u a liar
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You need to make art that nobody else likes. You need to make art that speaks to you alone. You need to cradle a serpent that eats its own tail and you need to love it until it loves you back
#The best art I've ever made will never be hung in anyone's home#That's not the point#It's not about being good#It's about being real#It's about eating something unpalatable#It's about being consumed#And tasting bitter#It's gorging yourself on crude oil just to feel something different#It's biting your tongue to make yourself cry#I'm saying that I am capable of making you feel good through personal sacrifice but I kind of don't want to cut myself up like that#If you want my heart to taste good you have to prepare it yourself#That isn't my problem
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🏹💘...!
#spuffy#btvs fanart#spike#spike btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#btvs#spike x buffy#my art#please don't repost#happy valentines day now time for me to disappear for 2 months#screaming at them : stop it#screenshot studies bc why not#proportions ? i don't know her#drawing these while listening to the patapon ost#buffy crying and being sad immediately after being brought back to life can yall please hear me out i have a vision#number one is i wanted to draw the fat ghibli tears#sarah michelle gellar#james marsters
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🧑🦲
I wanna cry...
#transformers#transformers one#tf one#queen never cry#optimus prime#elita one#b 127#bumblebee#THIS IS SO STUPID OMFG 😭😭#i don't know if someone done this before me but i really want to draw this shi so bad lol
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“How you’ve managed to deceive him.”
4.13 | 5.03
#merlin#agravaine#uther pendragon#bbc merlin#merlinedit#ee#gifs#m#413#503#do not talk to me about the coloring. i don't know#why is s5 merlin so so pretty i want to cry
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Cheeky Daniel based on lovely @hummingbee-o0o 's Picking Lint off the Sofa, which I love dearly. But then again I love everything she writes so eh. Go read her fics if you feel like gifting yourself some unmatched witty writing and feels!!
Oh and a lil sketchy extra because I couldn't resist drawing Armand's outfit as well
#pretteh bois#i'm sorry frenn i know you visualized his usual hairstyle#but imo this outfit begged for a fluffy slicked back hairdo instead#don't hate me you wouldn't want to make an old dog cry would you#i promise i thought i could get away with this only because you didn't get specific in the fic#armandaniel#devil's minion#daniel molloy#armand iwtv#armand interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire#iwtv#fanfic#my art: daniel molloy#my art: armand#my art: iwtv
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Danny is reading peacefully in his new room at Wayne Manor when there's suddenly a commotion outside his door. Next thing he knows Bruce comes storming through the door.
"Danny did you lie to me about your past!?" he asked calmly.
#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#dcxdp#hyper prompts#why yes i do think i'm funny#thank you for asking#but seriously don't you think bruce and dumbledore are similar in a lot of ways?#btw please tell me y'all get the meme#this will be infinitely less funny if you don't get the meme#and then i'll cry#and neither of us wants that#so please tell me you get the meme
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the blank ticket in your hand is just waiting to be filled in.
happy birthday vash! (ID in alt text)
#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun maximum#trigun maximum spoilers#trimax spoilers#vashwood#i actually made it... im crying... was devastated for a bit bc i thought i wouldnt had anything for vash's bday!!#but happy birthday to the twins.. vash and knives...#no matter what i was going to make a vash centric post im sorry knives... i have a comic in progress also but it was taking too long T_T#that one would celebrate both of them slightly more fairly! but anyway.#birthdays to someone like vash must not mean a whole lot. even the first one - him and knives were like oh what... cool.. i don't think the#had the chance to celebrate much after that :pensive: and vash probably spent most of his birthdays like any other day so i kind of just#wanted to celebrate him living and being alive - living for as long as he did and the people that eventually made living worth it#keep counting the years vash!!! even if you dont have birthday parties - it's still very very special#quote is directly from rem’s speech in ch 41 also#ruporas art
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I've seen a lot of different takes on Fear Toxin/other fear causing stuff (Yellow Lanterns Ring or something)(later just called Fear Toxin cause I'm lazy) but here is another one.
Danny seems like he isn't affected by Fear Toxin because his biggest fear is that his accident changed him so much he is no longer human, he can no longer truly experience human things.
So when he gets lungful of fear Toxin, he feels normal. He was antsy before, because c'mon, it's a rogue attack but it's not worse. Or so he thought. Because the anxiety lingers. Not enough to register as abnormal just this slight hypervigilance that makes you see things about yourself and your surroundings that you'd never realize otherwise. He'd realize he doesn't blink as often. He'd realize that if he doesn't consciously focus, he sometimes seems to not touch the ground. Forgets to breathe. He can't feel his own pulse at time. He'd realize people will miss him when he's walking down the street as if he was invisible (people just don't care about everyone they pass by). When he'd look straight into his reflection, he'd look slightly to the left. Not enough to actually name anything that was wrong but just stretched enough to fall on the wrong side of the uncanny valley. If he just caught his reflection in the peripheral vision, it'd be vaguely shadowy creature with glowing green eyes and white smoke instead of hair. Overall he'd be just wrong enough to be distinctly not human.
For everyone else, he'd be just a dude. Literally couldn't find more normal dude than this dude. Will pass as absolutely normal human unless someone is specifically looking for ecto-ghost stuff. Even most magic users wouldn't clock him at the glance
Tldr: Fear Toxin makes Danny perceive himself as some sort of eldritch horror but not enough to make him believe he'd actually be affected, while from outside perspective he's Just A Dude™
#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#fear toxin#please no Ghost King#nothing against this au but i don't think it'll mesh well woth this idea#probably works best with danny soon after accident#maybe still believing all of his parents anti-ghost propaganda#that'd add to angst for sure#idk why he is somewhere where he could be affected#idk who would realize something is wrong#up to whoever wants to do expand on this prompt#he'd cry when someone tells him he's been in fact affected by fear causing thing#because this means he *is* human and while he was fundamentally changed by his death#it didn't fully get rid of his humanity#but he won't tell that too busy being relieved so whoever delivered the news would be in for the ride#actually it'd be cool if it was someone who has superpowers but they showed up later in their life#parallels y'know#... i may still not be normal about “i wonder what could lie beyond infinity” by Numinous_Scribe on ao3...#top notch fic go read it great Clark characterization#anyway because plot kinda escaped me#hope this idea scratches someone's creative braincell or something#im curious what y'all will make out of it#yellow lantern#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part
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bunch of portraits
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#ryomen sukuna#megumi fushiguro#gojo satoru#nanami kento#choso kamo#nobara kugisaki#yuta okkotsu#fanart#crying im so tired....#busts aren't hard on their own but 8 of them ???#i should have stuck at 6 if i knew what was good fr me#but lucky fr choso n yuuta enjoyers i dont know whats good fr me and tacked on the extra 2 last minute#i did a bust piece waaay back in 2020 early jjk days and it was this crowd minus choso/yuuta so i wanted to like. do a kind of redraw#im happy choso n yuuta made the cut tho they r fun they look as tired as i feel#i've been having a lot of fun w the more semirealistic skin render so i wanted to stretch those muscles a bit more#took the better part of 3 days but u know i'm pretty happy w these i dont think i have a hard least favourite#fun game guess my favourite characters based on how i draw them it is Glaringly obvious 2 me#ik i said i dont have a least favourite but i certainly have A Favourite#uhhhh misc notes i tried rly hard to make sukuna's face look like yuuji's and only rly change the expression#i think i was successful??? i hope?????? like i didnt want to make him look like his own person as bad as that sounds#he is Wearing Yuuji that is Yuuji's Face#also i rly . wish there were more women . but as much as i like maki as a character i fr some reason don't find drawing her very fun ?#so nobara out here pulling her weight fr the girls my goat my queen <333
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Promptober day 30: love 💕
#promptober2024#DBDA#dbda fanart#save dead boy detectives#save dbda#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#art#my art#dc#the sandman universe#not technically a study but shhhh#i wanted these boys to smooch and unfortunately that hasn't happened yet in the show#edwin payne#charles rowland#chedwin#painland#payneland#my blood- twenty one pilots#its literally them you don't understand#if anyone comments on the record i will cry.#thats a threat#gay gay homosexual gay#dbdpromptober2024#beetlebug—-1
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Fearbook Ghouls
#my art#monster high#mh g3#mh#monster high g3#draculaura#twyla boogieman#twyla#twyla boogeyman#i dont remember how its spelled 😭#toralei stripe#the new dolls are sooo good i really hope they get here someday#this is a cry for help mattel#do you want my money#man i don't like how twyla turned out i may draw her again by herself#i hate how it all turned out actually#oh well
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one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.
one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.
i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.
the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.
my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.
i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.
#writeblr#i was doing a lot with high school students. over and over again#other teachers kept asking me what i was doing differently - why the kids listened to me. i am not particularly foreboding#and i have a pretty firm personal policy of never reacting in anger#godhelpme.#i was always kind of taken aback#because in general the kids were pretty easy. i explained i needed to keep everything “PG-13” because this was my workplace#and it was kind of their workplace#too. besides#i love swearing#and since i couldn't swear#neither could they - so if they were going to say “fuck” or become violent#they needed to choose a really specific time#because we only get “the one”.. sure enough - nobody wanted to waste the one very specific “fuck” utterance. kids listened.#i think just because - that rule makes sense. the kids understand that i don't want to be unfair to them#that censorship is stupid#but that i'm under these rules too so like let's ride it out together#also i look young and tbh between me and u nobody wants to make the nice english teacher cry#the way these kids defended me to their friends was really genuinely so heartwarming bc the Grouchy Frat Boy#would be like MISS RAQUEL DOESN'T DESERVE THAT KIND OF AN ATTITUDE BRO DON'T TALK BACK TO HER
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the fact that charles was so gentle and sincere with his answer to edwin's confession is something I could never forget... because that's what love is about, right?
love is in the way charles could never hurt edwin on purpose, is in the way he protects him, in the way he knows when edwin needs to be seen; love is in the choice of every one of his words, in the way he knows that being honest is the only right answer.
there's still forever waiting for them, there's still forever waiting for charles to figure it out, to discover if he loves edwin in a romantic way too, and it doesn't matter if is not romantic in the end, because that it's just a side of the love they share.
i think is so important not to overlook something like that, not to let that pending romance overshadow the fact that they already love each other in every other way.
because in the end, we are talking about two boys that have experienced excruciating pain, that have seen horrifying things during all their existences, and in spite of it, or maybe because of it, are capable of loving each other in a way that's so pure and strong and relentless...
reducing the importance of it to a reciprocated romantic love seems so simplistic and inconsiderate to me.
#I swear they are making me cry if i stop to think about their bond for two long#so i may stop for my own sake#believe me i want for them to be a couple too. i just don't think it is gonna make their love more important that it alresdy is#you cannot compare any other relationship with the way they love each other#i'm just saying#dead boy detectives#payneland#paineland#paynland#edwin payne#charles rowland#dbd#liv rambles#painland#edwin paine#dead boy detective agency#edwin x charles
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