#and i don't see that as a bad thing necessarily

[traumasurvivors]

hello, do you have resources on recognizing whether or not you're in an abusive/toxic friendship?

I don't, but here's some red flag thoughts I had.

If you try and talk about something they've done that upset you/bothered you, and they turn around and make you feel bad. This might be done by them going "oh, I'm such a terrible person. You shouldn't be friends with me."

They only talk to you or initiate contact if they want something from you.

They "jokingly" say mean things about you.

They compare you to other people. It might be things like "oh, well, so-and-so would do this for me."

They make you feel guilty for having boundaries.

If you're having a bad time, they need to be having a worse time. Nothing can be about you, and the attention always has to be drawn back to them.

They make you feel bad about your interests. "Oh, damn, I guess not everyone has good taste in music.

Constant negativity. They are constantly "raining" on your parade if you're happy about something. Example: You are super happy because you had a great time with your dad. You rave to them about this, and their response is "wow, it must be nice. My dad and I have a terrible relationship." While their feelings are valid, it's really inappropriate if they feel a constant need to bring you down whenever you're happy.

You can't rely on them for support. While it's valid for people to have limits and not be able to provide support all the time because of their own mental health, it isn't okay if a relationship is one-sided and you offer support and they never do.

When you have arguments, they got for "low blows" rather than trying to resolve the conflict. This might mean they scream at you, or throw insults at you, or throw past mistakes in your face.

No one is perfect, and it's understandable that people slip up sometimes and make mistakes. Lash out even. But they should hold themselves accountable for these mistakes, and not make you feel bad for being upset. They also shouldn't laugh off or be dismissive of their own behaviour.

Being passive aggressive.

They pressure you into doing things you don't want to do.

A lot of this falls under manipulation, and I wrote an article about it here.

I want to bring up that nuance is really important. For example: my best friend and I regularly "roast" each other and genuinely find it amusing. But there are certain topics that are off limits, and we'd never do this if it genuinely upset the other.

Obviously, again nuance is important. Sometimes these bad feelings come up for our own reasons and aren't necessarily the other person's fault, but here are some thoughts I had on things you might be feeling if a friendship isn't right for you.

You feel relieved if plans are cancelled.

You feel a feeling of dread when you see a message from them.

You are anxious to tell them things like really good news because they might make you feel bad about it. Or even really bad news, because they might try and compete with you.

You are anxious to tell them if they cross a boundary or upset you.

You withhold telling them the real truth about things. You might be worried they can't be trusted with the information, or that they might use it against you.

You feel trapped or like you have to be their friend.

You feel completely drained by them. Maybe it's hearing their name, seeing their name, or just being around them.

Sorry, I rambled, but hopefully there's something helpful here!

[fenxshiral]

Yeah, I'm trying to give this game a fair shot, but so far I'm not impressed. So far, the game in a vacuum isn't bad. The problem is that *by bioware standards* this is bad. Not gonna spoil anything, btw.

Dialogue is very… not good. It feels stilted, forced. Like dialogue written by a DM who’s new to DnD, or a college creative writing student writing a story they don't care about. This does not feel like dialogue written by Bioware, it feels like dialogue written by a new studio stocked with inexperience writers, or by a studio that’s never made a story driven game before. I wouldn’t necessarily classify the writing as *bad* so much as it’s amateurish. I know that most of the writing team is completely new for Veilguard, as most of the old guard has left or been let go from Bioware - but unfortunately it really shows. While I had my problems with DA2 and Inquisition, dialogue in the previous three games was tight and flowed naturally. It felt like dialogue written by seasoned pros who really knew how to make characters feel natural. This feels off in the way that only rushed or amateur writing can feel off. And it’s not an issue with voice acting - even though that isn’t the greatest either in some parts (but that’s another discussion) - it’s very much an issue with the quality of the writing. People accept things they shouldn’t, they question things they shouldn’t. This is dialogue written by people who don’t take the time (or don’t care) to think about how characters will think, feel or react. It’s dialogue written for the purpose of getting from point A to point B rather than to actually engage with the story and the world.  Again, not necessarily *bad* but it’s certainly not good. Maybe this is early game woes and the story struggles to get off the ground. I’ll revisit this later if the dialogue quality changes or stays the same.  

Character introductions are very lazy. So far every single character introduction has been the character popping out of nowhere to destroy something or to just Be there. It’s very lazy writing and I expect better of a studio with the pedigree of Bioware. I would accept this quality of writing from a new studio, but not a studio like Bioware that has shown they can do *much* better. It’s also very rushed. I don’t get to explore an area before the game goes “HERES A NEW CHARACTER WE WON’T DESCRIBE ENOUGH ABOUT FOR YOU TO CARE ABOUT THEM OKAY BYE.” So far the game has been cutscene simulator that has combat and dialogue tacked onto it. And not in a good way.

This is the quality of writing I’d expect from a Bethesda game, not a Bioware game. Again, not bad in a vacuum, but by Bioware standards, this quality of writing is atrocious. And to be completely honest - after the absolute dumpster fires that were Anthem and Andomeda, they really can't afford to release a game with 10+ years of hype behind it and have it be anything less than spectacular.

I really hope this game gets better in quality. Because so far, it's worse than inquisition in many respects and while Inquisition was better than DA2 it was still inferior to Origins in many ways.

I desperately want to give this game a fair shake because I've been enamored with this series ever since I first played Origins back in 2009. So we'll see.

[scimagic]

do you have any headcanon about mr puzzles dad/his and mr puzzles relationships?

BOY DO I!!!

Sit down let me take you on a sad sad journey about a sad sad man

Let me get this one right off the bat:

Puzzles is an only child of divorce

His parents took a shared custody when he was really young, leaving little Puzzles in a shaky unstable situation

The only good side to that is that he got to to amusement parks twice on his birthday

Hence, his love for amusement parks (practically his happiest memories)

It was a twice-a-year happening. Two whole days to have fun and ignore whatever the hell was happening with the adults!

Best of all it was all about him!! His birthday! His gifts! His big day! He loved seeing everyone in the park having fun just like him

But of course, when he told his dear old papa about his brilliant idea, he was shut down

That's when the problems began to brew a little more

His relationship with his father was always a strict one; Mr Dad was a strict man, straight to the point and harsh towards life

I imagine he was in some sort of white collar job, manager or administrator, some type of job that slowly kills your creativity and makes you a strict parent

So you can imagine the type of relationship a parent like that would have with his creatively-inclined son

I don't necessarily think he was a bad person, none of that physical abuse stuff. More like- raised his voice a lot, spoke in harsh tones and widely misunderstood his kid

Because of that, Puzzles began to dislike his father when he stayed with him, even if most of the time he was up in his room watching TV by that point

They never really saw eye to eye after that, Mr Dad kept trying to move his son away from creative fields and Puzzles just kept pushing against authority to pursue his dreams

By the time he grew up, he practically cut off all contact with his father

He's still angry and bitter that his old man never even gave him a chance to prove that he Does have creative vision and can make something truly great

And to rub it in his face and say "I told you so" and give him a big finger FHDJKSA

Even if his father doesn't see what Puzzles accomplished (for whatever reason), he would still be able to say he did it

Now that he's in prison though, now he regrets it even more because he never got to show how wrong his father was

The hate has been brewing, got spilled, and is still brewing

He's a very vengeful-driven man hfjkdsa

Sometimes the thought of his father being right crosses his mind but he tries to shut it down

However- the only thing that Puzzles wants more than to prove his father wrong, is to prove himself right

That's why he's a lil fucked up and is where he is right now <3

[cripplecharacters]

For reference, I'm autistic but I'm not physically disabled. I'm wondering if I'm playing into some bad stereotypes with one of my disabled characters. She's primarily a wheelchair user, but she can walk short distances with mobility aids. Basically, she's always visibly disabled.

I gave her quite a few of my own traits (and accidentally made her autistic in the process). One of these traits is I made her aroace. But now I'm thinking it's maybe not the best idea to have an autistic wheelchair user be explicitly uninterested in sex and romance when there's a lot of stereotypes about both groups being uninterested in / incapable of these things. Emphasis on the wheelchair user aspect since that part of her character isn't drawing on my own experiences in the slightest.

If it helps, she's not the only autistic character or the only visibly disabled character in the story. But she is the only wheelchair user, and the only character who's explicitly aspec.

Her being aromantic is pretty essential to her character and storyline, but her being asexual isn't really. I could probably change her sexuality without changing too much else about her. So I guess my main questions are:

1. If I keep her aroace is there anything else I can add to help avoid too many stereotypes regarding sex and romance for wheelchair users?

2. Would making her allosexual help with the situation or would I just be removing an important aspect of representation without doing anything to improve the negative stereotypes?

Thanks for the help

Hello!

While there are stereotypes about physically disabled people not having sex, it's usually more in the realm of "disabled people don't have sex" or "disabled people can't have sex" rather than being about asexuality or aromanticism specifically.

There are stereotypes about autistic people being aromantic or asexual but, as with most stereotypes, there will always be people that fit their description. Their existence is just as important as somebody who doesn't necessarily fit those stereotypes.

This is to say, if your character is aroace and disabled, good for them! That's completely fine, there's nothing wrong with that.

If you are still worried, you could always add more aspec characters or more wheelchair users, though I honestly wouldn't worry too much.

You could also consider having her talk a bit about her experiences being aroace, even if it's just a few throwaway lines here and there. That would help solidify it as being part of her individual identity rather than equating being disabled with being aspec.

In general, though, I don't see anything wrong with this character.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

Hey! I strongly agree with Icarus on adding another wheelchair user that's not aroace. There's nothing wrong with having a disabled aroace character, but it's hard to ignore the fact that often autistic and physically disabled characters get to be the ones headcanoned as aroace because of the "physically disabled/autistic people don't have sex nor romance" stereotype.

Coming from someone disabled and on the aroace spectrum: disabled characters who are aroace are cool, but having disabled characters coincidentally always be the only asexual and/or sex repulsed ones is certainly frustrating. Just put in some variety and you will be good.

If you do want her to be asexual and not add any other character, it would be interesting to see her identities actually intersecting. Does she ever feel "like a stereotype" for being autistic and not being interested in dating? Same thing but for being a wheelchair user who doesn't want sex? Maybe gets annoyed when people assume that her asexuality is caused by her disability, or when interacting with people who just presume that she doesn't have sex/romantic relationships because she's autistic and uses a wheelchair, and not because she's aromantic and asexual? Basically anything to give her depth as a character who is all these things so it doesn't seem like she just got the "default orientation" that disabled characters often end up with in LGBT media.

mod Sasza

[historical-fashion-polls]

Hey, I'm not the original anon, and I think it's unfortunate that their ask has had such a negative impact, but I do kinda get where they're coming from and thought I might be able to add some insight. I've been following this blog for a bit and I do definitely think I'm developing a "feel" for which outfit will be in the lead (often strong, deep colors, silhouette that's attractive by modern standards). That's not necessarily a bad thing, and I don't think it called for a grumpy ask, but I can see anon's point, especially in the context of frustration with costuming in period productions, which often goes for a "historical vibe without being too weird for modern viewers" approach. But these polls aren't a competition, and it's fun to play fashion judge with them. Anyway, thanks for all the great work you do, have a good day!

hi dear anon! 💕

thank you for your thoughts on this, and I'm so glad to hear that you're enjoying the blog! ☺️☺️

in the time since this was sent, I have heard from the original anon again, so I will link that response here, as my response to them is similar to what I would respond here!

as I mentioned, it's definitely worth having a conversation about attention to historical detail in media! 💕💕 but I do fear it often comes down to factors like money and time, since – from what I've seen and heard – costume designers are often massively underpaid and underfunded, and frequently given insufficient time to complete the kind of work that historical detail requires

I don't doubt that some aspects of the skimping on historical details are down to making things more approachable to modern audiences, but also I think it's not a phenomenon that's particularly new. for example, check out this "1830" costume from 1910 or even a well-known film like It's a Wonderful Life where I'm always jolted from the dance scene that ostensibly takes place in the 1920s by the aggressively 1940s style of the dresses and hair (not a dropped waist in sight lmao) 😆😆

as I mentioned, I do truly hope that the blog might help people gain a better understanding of historical fashion, even if it is mostly for fun! and even if responses do trend toward more "modern" looking garments, I'm hoping folks still enjoy the exposure to a wide range of historical styles! ☺️💕 I'm still nowhere near an expert, but I can say that I myself have learned a ton since starting the blog! ☺️☺️

anyway, suffice it to say that this is a definitely a complex topic that is worth analyzing, so thank you for sending in your thoughts on it! 🥰🥰

[lockea]

I can't make any comments on legality because I have complicated feelings I'll put in the tags, but OP is right and the puzzle art is a really good analogy for how Stable Diffusion works. Like they said, the puzzle piece fitting happens at the pixel level to create "new" art.

For an example, this was taken directly from DALL-E 2 (a popular algorithm and data set) showing its variation function.

[Alt text: On the left. The original "Girl with a Pearl Earring" painting. On the right, AI generated variations of the painting]

The problem becomes that if you describe the image you want well enough, it will generate a straight up stolen image instead of making an amalgamation of images in a new, transformative way.

I use DALL-E to play a game with my AI team at work (yes, I'm one of those evil Artificial Intelligence engineers) where we generate art based on a piece of media and try to guess the media portrayed. It's a fun little game that helps get me going every morning.

Here is my entry for "Final Fantasy VII" along with the prompt I used to generate it.

[ALT TEXT: image prompt reads "A dark and moody anime image of a man with yellow spiky hair holding a large sword staring up at a skyscraper." the man also has a yellow cape despite that not being in the prompt.]

So... that yellow cape, huh? I wonder where that came from...

Honestly? I don't know enough anime to tell you immediately which characters wear yellow capes that DALL-E thought that this render of Cloud needed one, but I can guarantee you it pulled enough anime images and fanart to have learned it somewhere.

And that's really the problem here. I did not tell the AI to make a cape. That cape is not a creation of the AI either because, as OP said, true Sci fi level AI does not exist. The cape is here because the artwork it was trained on had enough anime men in capes to give Cloud one.

That's not a good thing.

How AI Datasets ACTUALLY Work

I love the irony of techbros shouting “YOU NEO-LUDDITES JUST DON’T KNOW HOW THE TECH WORKS” when they obviously don’t know how AI datasets that generate images work.

This is not true “artificial intelligence.” It doesn’t see images, form an understanding of them, then create something new. It’s not like a person looking at photos of frogs and then making a new painting of a frog.

That’s what tech bros seem to not get. True artificial intelligence WOULD be able to do that.

But the machine being fed real art is NOT artificially intelligent. What it does is take dozens of images and break them up into teeny tiny pieces, like a 5000-piece jigsaw puzzle but on a near pixel level. It also takes the understanding of those images based on what people say those images are.

Most puzzle-makers have the same die-cut, which means you can take pieces from multiple puzzles and put them together into something new. I won’t link it here so this post reaches the most people, but look up:

Puzzle Montage Art by Tim Klein

Examples of montage puzzle art:

What he did is EXACTLY what AI image generators do, except instead of using two or three artworks, one AI-generated image might use hundreds. And this is what those who actually understand the technology are trying to get across.

Right now, most things that exist are now fed into image datasets. The number of works that exist in midjourney and stable diffusion number in the literal billions. Datasets have stolen so much art that most people can’t fathom that kind of statistic because we’re just not capable of thinking in those kinds of numbers.

That’s why techbros think an art generator just takes inspiration from the works it has.

In reality, the reason tech-bros state that it takes them hours to get a particular set of prompts “just right” is because they are educating the machine. Basically, if you give it a set of prompts and it gives you something you don’t want, it is internally assigning labels to the pieces of the puzzle it gave you. Eventually, when you DO get what, the same datasets that produced those images will scrape them again and assign labels to pieces based on what is perceived as “correct.”

This is also why it is impossible to remove images from a dataset. Any image used to create an AI work must also exist within the work itself. Removing any one particular image necessitates finding and removing any child data produced from that image, or else the machine can literally just re-scrape it. 

Currently, because a dataset uses the data from hundreds of images to create a new work and does not compensate the original artists for the use of their art, this qualifies as theft under international copyright law.

I hope providing a real-world example of how datasets work is helpful.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I think now, my opinion about "jews by choice choose judaism!" has changed; not because I don't choose judaism fully, I choose it every day, but as time goes on, it doesn't feel as much of a choice. It feels like a choice in the same way that needing to breathe, to eat, to sleep feels like a choice. To me, judaism is as important a function of my day as my mortal, bodily functions, and I never chose to do them. It happened to me, it continually happens to me

I definitely started my journey needing to consciously choose judaism, but as time goes on and it enriches my life more, is it as much of a choice, or is it just... what happened?

I guess it might be apt to say my conversion is like eating: I have to do it. In that way, it isn't a choice, I have no choice in my need for it. However, I can choose what I eat, when I eat, and how often I eat (to an extent). In the same way, I have made choices about my observance, about the way I think about g-d, and how much I participate in my (offline) community. But I don't think I have chosen my desire to be a jew, just like you don't really choose to fall in love.

[aq2003]

my personal hot take of the day is that you cannot fully appreciate ten if you don't also appreciate martha and the dynamic they have

[antianakin]

It's really depressing that the only real Jedi centric and Jedi positive show in existence is written for preschoolers, while many of the more "adult" shows are edgy and about morally ambiguous or straight-up evil characters. As if lessons about being kind and selfless are somehow not important or relevant to adults just as much if not more than they are to children.

It feels like characters who are unambiguously good are seen as only enjoyable by the very young and adult viewers will only actually appreciate characters who are cruel and selfish (and the requisite "tragic backstory" that always goes with it to help excuse their cruel and selfish choices).

It's just really sad and disappointing.

[lord-squiggletits]

Part of why I hate this fandom's take on Autobots vs Decepticons is ppl (mainly 'con fans honestly) who can't have any nuance of the situation whatsoever and love to write plots like "oh the humans are racist and abusive towards Cybertronians so this is how Megatron is right" no actually I don't think colonialism/imperialism and racism are justified so long as you can point the finger and say "they were the aggressors first" or "their hands are no cleaner than ours bc their society sucks too" sorry. Please come up with better sociopolitical narratives in your war story.

[tetedurfarm]

anyway, that whole big ass post brought to you in part by this four-week old himi litter that is starting to drop dead of what really appears to be Ye Olde Clostridium but uhh they should not be fully weaned yet? hello?

vaccinated and treated for cocci anyway but i am hard side-eyeing their mother for this.

[gncrezan]

gncrezan get behind me the girlies CANNOT be normal about this poll 🤺🤺

LMFAOOOO i don't think i made clear enough that this poll is genuinely low stakes, i enjoy talking about it !!! and i like to see what others also think of the situation!! it's obviously a very complicated one which is why people are defending their takes in the tags (thanks everyone the 200 word tag thinkpiece is literally exactly what i wanted from this you've fallen into my trap)

if anything the poll has shown that sevenmancers are stronger than me. schrodinger's cat of a RO like you don't know if you've bagged them or not until you check the metaphorical bag

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

People who say that Beauty and the Beast (1991) endorses Stockholm Syndrome and domestic abuse have very grossly missed the entire point of the story.

[freakartack]

What moment exactly made you dislike Lulu as a character? Like I really don't follow

She's too good at her job

[repurposedmeatlocker]

Do you ever stop to think about the act of creating someone? I don't mean in a literal sense like a baby. It could be applied that way, but I think it runs deeper. I mean the act of creating an individual such as a character for a work of fiction. Do you ever stop to think about how creating a character is kind of like making tangible a part of yourself, or someone you care about or connect to deeply in some fashion? On that note, isn't it crazy to think that this thing you've made might impact another person deeply if you choose to share them with others? That some people are so moved by a single character that they base their entire being around them and might even see them as an extension of themselves, all while you have never met that person nor know anything about their life. This happens times a hundred for creators of popular films and books with millions of fans. Isn't that crazy how something initially personal to exclusively yourself can become a part of millions of people's lives? It is kind of scary, but also awe-inspiring.

[erdasmcnonsense]

Okay I know it's not guaranteed by any means, and it's common enough for reds to survive a good while after turning red, but wouldn't it be funny if Martyn were to also be the first out of the game in Secret Life? The canary curse broken by the previous winner because the Watchers are just that done with Martyn's shit by now or whatever