#and i don't even like salami if it's not peppered....

[little-prince-sits-on-his-stone]

goodfellas (1990) is not a movie to watch while hungry.

[tpwk-formula1]

Heyy<3 I'd like a Pizza with Sicilian Crust,RedSauce ,Salami, Basil, Spinach, Broccoli, Roasted Artichokes ,Prosciutto and with that a Dr Pepper,Diet Coke and a littel Dessert

scenario: Lando and reader are dating and just having fun. But Lando wants to try something new and asks reader if he can film them. <3

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

sicilian dating red sauce rough sex salami "Such a little cum slut" basil "I love to watch my cum leak from your pretty pussy" spinach "Awe I love to know I stretched you out just enough to take all my cock" broccoli "Made just for me huh?" roasted artichokes “im gonna put a baby in you” prosciutto "I love making this pretty pussy squirt" dr pepper dirty talk diet coke recording dessert yes served by Lando Norris

AN - OKAY! So I went a bit insane with this one and totally did something completely different and I really hope you like it! Any of the words in italics are a part of the scene and if it is regular that means it is either plot or current time!

Lando x gf! reader

TW - rough sex, sweet sex, oral (m & f receiving), squirting, multiple orgasms, face fucking, breath play, creampie, THERES A LOT GOING ON, MDNI 18+

WC 3300+

Y/N POV

"So I was thinking about something I think would be fun to try," Lando tells me softly making me perk my head up.

"You do that?" I question softly making Lando stare at me a bit confused.

"Do what?" He questions back after a few seconds of not understanding.

"Think. You think?" I joke making Lando instantly scoff and roll his eyes at my antics.

"You muppet," Lando groans before busting out into a little fit of giggles with me.

"Anyways, I was thinking maybe one of these times in the future I could maybe film us? I totally understand if you aren't comfortable I just would love to have a film of us together," Lando tells me softly making my face grow slightly hot at the thought of being filmed.

"Well like, would someone else have to film us? Will anyone see it? I just have a few questions," I tell Lando softly not shooting down his idea but not agreeing without clarification.

"No one would need to film us, we can hold the camera or get a tripod and I would never let anyone see it," Lando tells me softly making me nod my head letting him know I understand.

"Can I have some time to think about it?" I ask not fully sure I am comfortable with the idea just yet.

"Of course love! Whenever you know or think you're ready to do it we can rediscuss," Lando tells me softly while pulling me into his lap and placing a few soft kisses on my lips.

It has been a couple weeks since Lando had asked me if he could film us and with 2 back to back triple headers coming up I figured this break would be the best time to film some content so the both of us can have it while Lando is out traveling, especially since I'll only be able to go to a couple of his last races.

"Love, I have an idea," I tell Lando softly crawling into his lap and making him raise a brow for me to continue.

"Go on," Lando urges while I bite my lips letting the nerves get to me.

"You know how you wanted to film us having sex, I was thinking since we were gonna be traveling a bunch this next month while you're on break we could film little scenes and snippets in different places and then I can edit it all together so instead of it just being one time we have sex it's like I don't know how many, we have a lot of sex," I ramble making Lando smile at my last comment.

"Are you sure?" Lando asks me making me nod my head.

"Ya, I think it would be nice to have when you're away," I admit softly while my cheeks heat up realizing that I just admitted to touching myself when he was away.

"Oh my god, my once innocent girlfriend is admitting to touching herself when I'm away," Lando says with a smirk making my face heat up even further.

"Lando," I say while swatting at his chest softly.

"Do you get into our toys too?" Lando with an even more menacing look in his eyes.

"Don't act like I have noticed things go missing when you're away," I tell him softly with a raised brow. We both start laughing lightly. We had definitely sent enough pictures and videos throughout the year of us dating to know damn well we both touched ourselves when he was away but it was truly the first time we had talked about it.

"Can I make a request?" Lando asks softly.

"Ya of course, love," I reply making Lando's face heat in embarrassment just thinking about what he's about to ask.

"I kinda want a video of you touching yourself in the edit," Lando tells me softly making my face heat just thinking about touching myself in front of Lando.

"I'll film one of myself too and you don't have to do it in front of me. I actually would love for it to be a surprise," Lando continues making me relax slightly.

"Okay, I'll film is when you least expect it and it can be a surprise for you," I agree making Lando's face heat up at the thought.

"I think we have time to make our first film," Lando says with a smirk making me laugh lightly be quickly agree.

It's been almost a month since we came up with the plan and Lando leaves for Austin tomorrow which means tonight I give Lando our movie we created.

"Lan, come to the room when you have the rest of the night to yourself," I tell Lando softly peaking into the sim room where he was streaming with Max Fewtrell.

"Okay, do you need me right now? I can get off!" Lando tells me quickly making me laugh when I can hear Max telling Lando he was too damn wipped.

"No, it can wait! Enjoy your stream," I tell him softly.

"I'll be on no more than an hour," Lando tells me making me smile and retreat back into our room where I went into the bathroom and started getting ready.

I did my makeup and hair before I changed into a new lingerie set I knew Lando would love. Once I was all ready Lando was knocking on the bathroom door and asking if I was in there.

"Ya, just give me a minute," I tell him softly while taking a pic in the mirror and saving it for when Lando is away before typing my black silk robe around my body and heading out of the bathroom.

"Where are you going? I thought we were gonna be hanging out," Lando tells me softly making me laugh and shake my head.

"We are, just was bored while you were streaming," I lie softly knowing damn well I just wanted to look good for this moment.

"So I finished editing the video and its kinda long but I wanted to watch it with you," I tell him softly watching his face light up.

"I really hope you like it," I tell him softly making him pull me into his lap so I was stratting him.

"I'm gonna love it! You're the star of the film, nothing better than that," Lando tells me with a smile before pulling me in for a kiss and then letting me turn around so I was sat between his legs letting my back rest against my chest while I load up the 45-minute video of some of our sex adventures the last few weeks.

Scene 1 - Taken right after they agreed to make the video

"Oh fuck Lan," I moan looking right into the camera that Lando was holding and angling it to make sure to get all of my upper body in the shot.

"Fuck, it's like you were made just for me huh? always taking ym cock so well," Lando grunts in reply making me moan out louder.

"Lan I might cum again," I moan out making Lando's thrusting speed up while he brings one of his hands down to my clit where he teases it while I fall over the edge all around his cock.

That's where the video ended and a new scene was in front of us.

Scene 2 - Taken later that night right before we left for dinner. Quicky in the bathroom mirror

"Fucking hell, so goddamn tight," Lando grunts making me throw my head back with my eyes closed.

"No, fucking watch us," Lando says aggressively while he takes ahold of my hair and makes me watch Lando fuck into me from behind.

I was doing my best to hold the camera steady but I was failing miserably so Lando takes it from my hand and continues to fuck into my pussy from behind making sure to focus the camera on my face and the way my tits are bouncing around with each thrust.

"Fuck Lan," I moan loudly when I start cumming all over Lando's cock. He quickly pulls out of my soaked pussy and angles the camera to show him painting my ass with his cum.

We hadn't planned to fuck before dinner but with the idea of making a movie for each other, we were like little teenagers again fucking any chance we could.

Scene 3 - On a yacht off the Meddeteraian coast.

"Lando!" I scream feeling myself fall over the edge again squirting my pleasure all over Lando and the expensive couch we currently were on.

Lando had propped the camera up on the couch making sure to get his and my lower half in the frame of the camera.

"I love making this pretty pussy squirt," Lando groans after watching me squirt for the third time in a row.

"I want you to cum for me again," Lando groans against my lips.

"It's too much," I whine but Lando only speeds his actions up taking me over the edge rather quickly.

"Fuck squirting so much you could fill the sea," Lando teases.

That last comment had both Lando and I laughing lightly.

"Can't believe you kept that in. So embarrassing," Lando whispers into my ear while squeezing my waist a bit tighter.

"I thought it was a good comedic relief. I edited out most of the silly comments you say," I tell him making him groan realizing his post-nut clarity most of the time turns him into a comedian.

Scene 4 - In Y/N's childhood bedroom after visiting family.

"Fuck watching you with your niece is gonna make you a mother," Lando groans while pumping into my tight pussy.

"Fuck Lan," I moan once the words sink in.

"You want that? You want me to give you my babies," Lando grunts through staggered moans letting the pleasure get to him.

"Yes please," I gasp out trying to keep my volume down not wanting my parents to hear us.

"Fuck, I'm close. Please cum with me," Lando grunts out while bringing 2 fingers down to my clit and giving it a rub in small circles bringing the both of us over the edge. As we are cumming Lando grabs the camera from the little stand it was on and brings it to show my face as I'm cumming.

“I'm gonna put a baby in you,” Lando grunts as he continues to fuck my pussy through both of our orgasms.

"Fuck, you look so pretty like that," Lando grunts sending one last thrust deep into my pussy before slowly slipping out and putting the camera close to my core so the camera can pick up his cum slowly leaking from my pussy.

"I love to watch my cum leak from your pretty pussy," Lando grunts before the video is cut off.

"That was some of the best sex we've had," Lando groans out making me smile.

"Ya it was," I reply softly leaning back farther making Lando grunt out. I wiggle aroung for a second and that's when I feel it. Lando was hard. I just smirk wiggling around another second before Lando is gripping my hips to stop my movement.

"Don't act up," Lando roughly whispers into my ear.

Scene 5 - Lando's apartment after playing paddle with Max Verstappen

"Why the fuck would you do that," Lando says towering over me kneeling on the floor in front of him.

"Lando, I didn't do anything! I was just talking to Max," I reply looking straight up at him.

Lando set up the tripod at the end of the bed and it was currently angled down so it could catch me on my knees on the floor.

"You didn't do anything? Cause from what I seen was you getting all up and close with Max when I went to the bathroom," Lando's voice booms out into the room making me whimper at his anger.

"Lando he was showing me something on his phone," I argue back only making Lando roughly slap my tit.

"No more talking," Lando says before roughly shoving his cock into my mouth making me gag instantly around his cock.

I could feel Lando's hip starting to shift a little trying to grind into my back.

"Of all things you using me is what's getting you to dry hump me like a hormonal teenager," I say shifting my head slightly looking at Lando as his face flushes red and instantly stop his actions.

"Oh you can continue. Be a good boy and keep grinding," I say confidently making Lando groan and start bucking again.

"You'll pay for your little comment later," Lando grunts into my ear and I giggle lightly.

Scene 5 Cont.

"Awe I love to know I stretched you out just enough to take all my cock," Lando grunts as he continues to fuck my face making tears run down my cheeks.

Lando roughly shoves his cock deep into my throat and holds his hips completely cutting off all of my airflow. I count the seconds in my head and once I reach 12 seconds Lando yanks his cock out making me gag and start coughing.

"Fuck," I cough out trying to get as much air as possible.

"We're going again," Lando grunts tangling his hand in my hair again before shoving his cock back in.

Lando roughly fucks my throat making me continnously gag and cry around his cock. My face has become a complete mess ruining any speck of makeup I had on.

I was a true and proper whore for Lando in this moment and I loved every second of it.

"Fuck, I'm cumming," Lando grunts before he shoves his cock all the way into my throat and unleashes a massive load down my throat. I swallow as best I can with Lando so deep. Once he pulls out of my mouth I make sure to collect as much cum off his cock before opening my mouth and showing him the cum pooling in my mouth.

I watch as Lando gathers a large wad of spit in his mouth before leaning down and slowly spitting it into my mouth mixing his spit with his cum.

"Hm, you're such a little cum slut. Swallow," Lando finally says making me close my mouth and swallow his cum and spit mixure.

"I think that's the sluttiest thing I've ever done," I admit softly when the scene in front of us ends. Lando had stopped his grinding as soon as he saw himself shove his cock all the way in my mouth cutting my airflow off. I think when you're in the moment everything seems so normal but then watching it back you realize how rough it really is.

"Do I do that often," Lando asks softly making me shift my body to face him realizing he needed a serious moment.

"Cut my air flow off? Not often but love, it is not something you have to change. If it was I would have asked you to stop. We have safe words and safe actions to get us out of every scene we ever do, I haven't used it for a reason," I tell Lando softly while stroking his cheek. I can tell he's not convinced but he's become more relaxed.

"I didn't realize that was what you looked like when you were struggling for air," Lando admits making me smile softly.

"Pretty slutty huh?" I joke I try lightening the mood while also pulling him in for a kiss trying to show him that I was really okay with it.

"Promise, you don't mind it?" Lando asks softly.

"Promise!" I reply back with a smile turning back around to face the laptop once again.

Scene 6 - Home alone while visiting Lando's parents

"Lan! They might come home," I whisper against Lando's lips as he pulls my body even closer to his.

We were in the pool enjoying the sun when Lando set up the camera right on the poolside clearly showing his intentions.

"They won't I promise," Lando replies while lifting my body out of the water and onto the edge of the pool. Lando changes the camera angle to make sure to get his next actions in the frame.

"We'll be quick if you're worried," Lando replied while pulling off the bottoms to my bikini leaving my lower half completely bare. Lando instantly brings his mouth down to my clit giving it a strong suck and making me whine.

"Fuck," I moan softly when I feel Lando shift his hands to the front of my robe teasing me over my lingerie. Lando's mind finally registers that he's feeling lingerie instead of my regular thong so he's pulling the front of my robe open to see his gift under.

"I'm surprised it took you this long," I reply with a smirk when he's opened the robe to see a specially made lingerie set to have similar accents to his Hungarian GP helmet.

It was a pretty light blue set with little hand-sewn embellishments to look like the hand-painted flowers that littered the helmet.

"Fuck baby, how did you even get this?" Lando asks softly when he realizes it is more than a light blue set.

"Made just for you," I reply with a smirk making him groan and throw his head back.

"You're the best. One of the most thoughtful things ever," Lando replies back softly as he brings his hand back down to my pussy and starts teasing me over my panties.

"Already soaked for me," I feel Lando smirk against my ear.

Cont scene 6

"Lan, feel so good," I gasp when I feel Lando softly push 2 fingers into my busy making me gasp at the feeling.

"I want you to cum," Lando grunts into my pussy sending a whole new wave of pleasure coursing through my body.

"Oh god," I cry out when Lando speeds up his actions bringing me closer to my orgasm.

"Cum for me," Lando roughly tells me sending me straight into a squirting orgasm.

"Fuck," I scream out as I watch my pleasure spray all over Lando and into the pool soaking him with more than just the pool water.

"Good fucking girl," Lando says while riding my orgasm out before he's slipping his fingers out and slipping them into his mouth to clean them off.

"Fuck, I can't take it anymore," Lando says roughly while slipping his fingers out of my lingerie and turning me around so I can face Lando.

I pull him in for a kiss while I feel him pulling his boxers and sweats down to reveal his leaking cock.

I'm instantly climbing fully into his lap with my lingerie pulled to the side so I can sink down taking all of Lando's cock deep into my pussy.

"Fuck I don't think I'm gonna last long," Lando grunts when I start bouncing on his cock clearly pent up from watching some of our sex over the past month.

"Me either," I moan loudly bouncing faster while Lando brings a hand between our bodies and starts teasing my clit knowing that will throw me over the edge far faster than anything else.

"Fuck Lando," I cry out as I feel my orgasm start to build at an embarrassing rate.

"I'm gonna cum," Lando grunts bucking his hips up to meet my thrusts trying to bring the both of us over the edge quicker.

"Oh fuck," I scream out as I start cumming all over Lando's cock pulling him with me and making him bury his cock deep in my pussy and filling it up with his cum.

"Fuck," Lando grunts making me sigh in contentment.

"The rest of the video can be a surprise. I wanna spend my last night between these thighs," Lando tells me softly still fully seated on his cock.

"Deal," I reply softly pulling him in for a kiss while we relax until the next round.

True to Lando's words we did go at it almost all night not stopping until we saw the first light of the sun rising.

[pannman]

Valentines Day Off

Queer platonic Alastor x Reader

Summary: reader detests Valentines day but it seems everyone around them is obsessed with it... well almost everyone

Cw: Alastor being sadistic, reader hating Valentines day, Alastor showing genuine emotions, suggestive stuff regarding Angel Dust and his "activities"

You were never into romance. It felt like everyone around you had some kind of disease and you were somehow immune. It drove you crazy how love made people act so stupid. So that being said Valentines day was the worst. Even in hell Valentines fever spread around like a virus. Angel was particularly busy with work this time of year from filming a Valentines day porno special and from taking on a multitude of "lonely single clients". Kinda sad that Valentines day makes single people so extra lonely that they feel the need to HIRE company. Charlie and Vaggie were extremely affectionate towards each other lately.

Charlie was very excited to be hosting a Valentines day dance at the hotel. What was this? Highschool? You sure as hell weren't gonna be there watching everybody either cling to their partners like velcro or whine about wishing they had a partner. At least that's what you tried to say until Vaggie made it very clear that Charlie worked very hard on this event and EVERYONE would be attending. Whether they like it or not. Angel tried to argue he would be far too "busy" on Valentines day. But Vaggie insisted he at least stop by for an hour. To which he agreed. Reluctantly. Husk was not the most romantic guy as well. But he seemed a little more dazed and upbeat lately. It seemed as though it was worse when he was talking to Ange- oh no...

Your sudden realization that your no romance buddy this evening was actually head over heels in love felt like a gut punch. You tried to find someone. ANYONE who wasn't affected by this stupid holiday. Lucifer was single. But you walked in on him crying while drinking wine and looking at a picture of Lilith and got the feeling he didn't want to be bothered. "What? What do you need help with?" He said trying VERY hard to pretend like nothing just happened

"Ugghhh.... nothing!" You awkwardly walked back out. There had to be SOMEONE! you decided to just dawn your best party clothes and get it over with. The party was filled with pink and red decorations. And there was a chocolate fountain. As well as a charcuterie board covered in cheese, crackers, fruit, veggies, and salami. Well the snack table might need to some company tonight, you thought. You headed on over and began to stuff your face.

"Eating our crippling loneliness away are we?" You almost choked on the Swiss cheese and pepper jack flavored crackers in your throat when you were startled by Alastor clearly trying to get a rise out of you. Though it wasn't working. "No, I'm just not a big fan of Valentines day. People act so dumb today" you replied nonchalantly. Alastor grinned at you eyes narrowing as if trying to detect some sort of lie. "I find it quite entertaining myself. Fools tormenting themselves every year over something as trivial as relationship status especially today" he laughed maliciously. Of course Alastor got sick pleasure out of people who were particularly miserable on Valentines day.

And he came here to make YOU miserable. Maybe you can give him a little taste of his own medicine. "Pretty hypocritical for someone who's clearly alone tonight. Where's YOUR special someone?" You tried to turn it around on him but he seemed unfazed. "I'm afraid those particular activities and relationships do not interest me. I've never been a fan of this holiday. Aside from the perks of watching the loneliest of sinners suffer." Alastor seemed to have the same opinions as you (Other than enjoying the suffering of others) and you felt a little better knowing that.

"I don't like this holiday much either. I really didn't want to come to this party. Although the food is good" you admitted. You noticed a slight change in Alastor's expression even with his gigantic smile making it hard to tell. "I have an idea. Why don't you and I ditch this party and take the rest of the night off. I know a restaurant that has even better food than this" he suggested.

You weren’t sure going to a restaurant with HIM was a good idea. "It's-it's not people in the food is it?" You asked him nervously. Alastor laughed "Ha! Of course not! It's far from Cannibal Town. It's a quaint little diner that happens to make the best southern comfort food in the pentagram" he seemed to find your unease amusing but you didn't sense he was being dishonest about the food. And to be honest it sounded delicious right now. Far better than munching on little horderves.

"But what about Charlie and Vaggie?" You asked with concern. "They'll be fine! They have plenty of party guests to attend to. They might not even notice we're missing. Enjoy yourself now and deal with the consequences later. That's what I always say" he joked. "I've never heard you say that once" you said unamused but continued "but, sure! Let's go!" And with a snap of his fingers you were outside a cute little diner named "Honey's Homecooking". The place was dead. Two waitresses and a chef in the back. One or two regulars and that was it. You stepped inside and could smell the food already

You and Alastor sat at a booth and a lady (who seemed to know Alastor) came by and handed you both a menu. "Hello Alastor" she said sweetly. "Hello Honey! I'm here with my good friend y/n! I'll take a black coffee to start"

You scanned the drinks on the menu for a second before ordering. "I'll take a coffee as well two sugars, one cream" it was late to be drinking coffee but you wanted to mirror Alastor for some reason. "Coming right up! Have a look at those menus and let me know if you're ready to order when I come back" she winked and walked off

"So that must be the lady who owns this place. Either that you two are together" you teased. Alastor tilted his head in confusion. He didn't get your joke?!? Alastor took a minute before suddenly realizing what you were referring to. "Oh! Haha! Of course not! Yes that's Honey! She's the genius behind this beautiful place." He spoke about the diner so fondly.

"I'm surprised this place isn't packed. It's Valentines day." You pointed out. "Of course it's a small scale place not many know about." He responded. "Can't you advertise this place on your radio show? I'm sure people would flood in if they knew the infamous radio demon ate here?" You questioned him. "And ruin the atmosphere?!? Never! I like this place JUST the way it is. I'm from the south you know. This place. It reminds me a lot of my home" you were quite shocked he was sharing so much with you. You decided to open up to him a little as well. "I wish I had place like this. I didn't have the best home life so I don't really get that feeling." He seemed intrigued by your sudden admission.

"I'm sorry to hear that" he said with... what sounded like genuine sympathy. WHO WAS THIS GUY?!? Was this the same guy getting off on watching people suffer? "Not to sound rude but like... you seem different today" you said wondering if it was too bold. "You are quite right, I get a little off on this Holiday... it's not that I crave a romance. It's more that I find myself being the only one who doesn't and that in itself is sort of lonely" he admitted.

"Yeah, I tend to feel that way too..." You never expected to have this much in common with Alastor. Honey then came by and took your orders. Alastor wanted the jambalaya and you ordered the southern fried chicken. You continued to talk about your mutual disdain for the holiday and your favorite foods. Honey brought you up your meals and Alastor did not oversell it. It was delicious

You tried to pay for own meal but Alastor insisted. "Well I believe we've been missing in action for long enough. Let's get back to the party" Alastor said as he paid the bill and tipped quite generously.

Pretty soon you were back at the party and although it was as dull as it was before you still considered it a nice evening. You returned to your bedroom tired and ready to call it day when you noticed a fancy envelope on your bed.

"A love letter?" You opened it a bit confused.

"Dearest y/n, I had a great time with you on our Valentines day off. I think Honey likes you as well. It was quite nice to share that special place of mine with someone. I look foward to next year.

-Sincerely Alastor"

[elbiotipo]

Argentina pizza culture is interesting because it's a staple dinner for us, easy to make and cook. We buy pre-pizzas which are already made pizza bases and then you just put sauce and cheese on it, send it to the oven, and you're done. If you want actual pizzas with the base made from scratch you can do it yourself or go to a restaurant, and they sell flours for it too.

But there are some recognizable things about pizza in Argentina. The first is that homemade pizza sauce almost always carries onions, lots of them. In fact I call this the "pizza criolla" because it's the staple of Argentine pizza, it is not as common in restaurant or rotisería* pizza. Then you have the "pizza especial", which is just a normal pizza with ham slices and pickled peppers strips ('pickled' is relative term here, as you actually grab a fresh pepper, cut it, and put the strips on vinegar oil and salt). That's what makes it special. You can top it all off with shredded boiled egg.

As for cheese, we have muzzarella but for homemade pizza we often use "queso crema" which is NOT the cream cheese sold as a spreader. It's kind of muzzarella but more melty, almost like the spectrum between muzarella and cream cheese. It's a staple here too because we use it on all our foods. Interstingly I've heard it's actually the cheapest cheese, but I can't imagine living without it.

Well, as of types of pizza, we have Napolitana (with fresh tomato slices Calabresa (with salami, this is my favorite), probably both completely unrelated to their italian locations, and of course the very Argentine fugazetta wthich is just cheese and onions. We do like onions it seems. The regular pizza is called just a "muzarella". There is also pizza jardinera (with greens like spinach or green onion) and with palmitos which are... palmitos. Palmitos are palm cores which are extremely expensive now so it's almost an extinct kind of pizza to me.

*rotiserías are small fast-food places open at night which sell things such as pizza, burgers and empanadas plus a couple more things. Way cheaper and better than any big fast food chain. It also shows that Argentines always eat dinner late, as most rotiserías don't even OPEN until 20 PM.

[piracytheorist]

what are your top 5 comfort foods?

I realized I took two days to reply to this, oops 😅 anyway, here's a list!

1. This pasta dish:

So it's basically pasta with cream, chicken, onions, green peppers, mushrooms, parsley, and for the best ingredient, soy sauce. All the ingredients blend in so absolutely perfectly and I am utterly enamoured with this dish. The photo may not say much because I took it quickly and was eating it outside so I couldn't put it on a plate, but let me tell you it's magnificent.

Sadly, I've only found this variation (particularly combining cream and soy sauce) in one single restaurant in a town I lived in a couple years ago, and nowhere else. Not even anything close to it. We tried making it once with my family and it's actually quite doable, it's just that I'm too lazy to bother with all the cooking and frying it requires. Maybe once I have a better kitchen, cause the one I have now is very limiting.

Anyway. It not only tastes great, warm and rich and like home, it's the dish I used to order every Saturday and eat while I watched Spy x Family during the second cour of the first season. I have this dish intimately connected with the warmth and comfort the show already brought me back then.

I am honestly emotional as I type this. This is the food for me. Like if I was asked if I'm emotionally connected to a food, it's that food. When I had to leave that town because I got hired in a different town, I brought that restaurant a wine gift basket to show my appreciation. They knew me, had probably memorized me from the first weeks I started ordering it, since every time I would call for an order I would just say the name of the dish and the guy would be like "this number this street this floor, right?" and so when I ordered it one last time before I left, they actually gave it to me for free.

And look, I've visited Italy. I've had pasta dishes that are genuinely better made and with richer and fresher ingredients, and I loved those too. But with this one I'm actually connected, you know?

I have managed to get it again, this town is very close to my hometown and I can visit if I have time and order it, but yeah. Betcha didn't think I'd pour out such a story over a dish! But it's true. I haven't had it in some time, but wait for me, my dear. I shall visit again and devour you again.

2. Chocolate mud cake, especially one particular recipe from my mother which is ridiculously easy to make and so very rich and tasty. I've made it quite a few times and it's one of the three sweets that I am unable to stop eating. If I start then it's becoming increasingly harder to stop, and even then I usually steal one more bite or two before I put it back in the fridge. I particularly avoid making it when I'm on my own because I know I will devour it too quickly (The other two sweets are a serano cake, recipe from a friend of my mom's and my grandma's chocolate salami. Luckily the serano is harder to make so it's not a temptation to make and have in the house (I've only made it like three times in my life and it was for birthday cakes), but the mud cake and the salami are very easy and huge temptations XD)

3. Though I'm trying to avoid them and also to find options with lower amounts of fat, I am very partial to puffed snacks. Again, there's quite a variety, from some made with corn to others made with legumes, or nuts. I just had some a while ago, actually XD My current favourite is one with a coating of tomato and basil taste, but I do love the sour cream and onion as well, and the classic oregano chips too. (WAIT I JUST searched for that and wdym it's a Greek thing??? Y'all don't have oregano chips as a classic?? I am shooketh)

4. I like most anything bread-like. Pitta bread in particular, especially if I have some dip like tzatziki, you'll just have to take the plate away from me before I empty everything on it. Especially if the pitta is slightly grilled... yum. I think I like it cause it's low-effort and with enough carbohydrates to give me a boost.

5. Chicken soup. I don't eat it often cause it's a bit of a hassle to make and I hate cooking, but especially when it's warm and fresh it feels so good and comforting, and because we usually eat it in the winter (it's a classic dish for Christmas day) it also feels like it warms me all up inside from the cold, so yeah. Love it.

Ask me my top 5/top 10 anything!

[gabby-i-guess]

ADHD PSA #2: The Dinner Formula

Feeding yourself is easily one of the hardest responsibility as an adult. It's even harder if you're neurodivergent - textures are ✨a lot✨, cooking takes so much energy, and actually planning meals can be almost impossible. A lot of us just end up not eating properly, because it just takes too much brain power some days.

So, let's make it simple.

dinner = a carb + a fat + a protein + a vegetable + incentive

"Okay..." You say, "but what does that mean??" Well, it can mean lots of things. I'd suggest making a personal, physical list of things you like/have. But for now, here's mine:

A carb: rice (instant packets are perfect), pasta, noodles (yep, 2 min noodles count), bread, potatoes

A fat: (that's right. A fat. That shit helps you digest all the vegetably goodness, okay? Don't go crazy, but some is necessary) butter, regular old vegetable oil, sesame oil, olive oil, cheese, cream, or whatever is already in the other ingredients (e.g. meat, nuts, avo)

A protein: chicken (pre-cooked works wonderfully), mince, tofu, egg, nuts, mushroom (gross but if you really must), salami, tuna - fuck it, even frozen chicken nuggets count

A vegetable: green is best but anything will do! Broccoli, kale (I love kale chips), spinach, red pepper, peas, beans, carrots, ANY AND ALL frozen veggies. Also - blending or finely shopping your veggies can be a lifesaver if you're not a fan of veggies

And finally, the most important bit - incentive. This is whatever will make your brain want to eat the meal. No judgement, I promise. The goal is to give your body the fuel it needs to keep chugging along - if the fuel has to be topped off with Bacon Bits and aioli, so be it. Mine are...

Incentive: seasoning like Nando's peri peri salt, chicken salt, garlic, onion, curry powder, lao gan ma. Toppings like fried onion, sesame seeds, pine nuts, cheese. Sauces like sweet chilli sauce, soy sauce, Japanese mayo, pesto, aioli. Or maybe, some random factor, like chop sticks, blue food dye (I'm a PJO fan...), a special bowl, preparing it as snack food, cutting things up into fun shapes, or buying alphabet pasta.

Finally, let's round out this post with some examples of dinners I've made recently using this formula:

Pasta + cream + chorizo + blanched and blended spinach + pesto = creamy pesto pasta

Flavoured rice pack + sesame oil + egg + broccoli + soy sauce and onion = simple fried rice

Couscous + salad sauce + Dino chicken nuggets + salad pack + the aforementioned Dino chicken nuggets = an insanely good salad (AND I took the leftovers to work)

I really hope this helped someone. I'm sending you all so much love and good vibes. This humaning shit is insanely hard and complicated, so if you're just getting through each day without adding to or subtracting from the population, you're already doing such a great job.

Be kind to yourself ❤️

[vibraqua]

[ Oh, what a shame. ]

These words and the like he heard the other night played through his head often, like a mystery being pondered. It was a trail left for the diligent to discover. He by no means was on a huge investigation. However, it felt more important to him than he could ever admit. So now, he slips through the doors a a marvelous art-noveau mansion, and would take a seat among the gallery of fellow observers.

"Your tea, sir." a maid would carefully and soundlessly place the teacup of fragrant beverage before the spectator.

His eyes were as sharp as they were the day following that party he hosted. Commemorating the hard work of those that worked at La Couronne, it was also a display of the cooks' skills. They all brought a dish or two of their own genius - with wine to go around as well as plenty of laughs and smiles. It carried to the following work day. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Except...

The next opponent approaches the stage. The bracket was particularly intense, with the two challengers capable of mega evolution. It was something Siebold was looking forward to : an unbeaten consecutive winner at the Battle Subway in the Unova Region, and a veteran of Johto's Battle Tower. For the duration of the match, Siebold's gaze was unbroken. He remembers, very fondly, the lie that was told to him. It was an obvious lie, one relayed so confidently to his face. A quick and unwitting lie. The night of the party, everyone partook in every food on that dining table, except for one. A burnt and absolutely under-standards yet adequately-presented smoked salami. Even decorated with shaved truffles. It would be an embarrassment, so why? Why did the pastry chef claim blame for it so quickly and confidently the next day? [ I wanted to test my frying skills. I don't think it tasted that bad at all! ] That is what she said. Suffice to say, it would be a feat of alchemical proportions to fry something and it magically becoming smoked dish. But Siebold believed he's figured it out. He tasted the dish himself. He ate it all. After everything was said and done, cleaning his table and floors. He partook in the meal alone in the grand dining room of his hôtel particulier. He was a particular case in that he could detail the quality of meat and exactly what spices had been used. Though the meat was not evenly cooked, it seemed to be the only thing off. He takes note of the sauce : a home-made Worcestershire sauce that was far too delectable for its own good. He takes note of the spices : the perfect ratio of the variety of pepper to mustard seeds. A finger to his lips, his gaze narrows as he is reminded of the taste.

That light kick, dancing around in his taste buds. Lingering in time for the soothing sauce with that sweet tinge. To feel that upon his taste buds upon witnessing the performance of one of those challengers : it was no coincidence. A mega beedrill much like her trainer - proud and cocky, an undeniable SPICE. Soothed down with the warm tea, Siebold was glued to his seat for as long as the side he was rooting for kept their streak. The one who was originally from Johto, a young man Siebold knew well. That man was from a family that ran an upscale ryokan chain in that region, seemingly squandered his opportunity for a secure place in life with the family by up and leaving to Kalos. A man like this was of course more than some innkeeper, but seemed to take the most pride in his skills as a pokemon trainer. Absolutely demolishing the team of pokemon that barely saw loss through another intensive battle facility was proof enough of his prowess. Even Siebold was unsure if he would be able to win in a battle against him. Time flies as the observer sits there engrossed as the Johtonian tears through the competition over & over. By the time the closest shave ended the streak, Siebold's legs had gone numb!

"I never seen you around here before, you on a trip or something?" It wasn't long until the object of his focus had approached his table. Surely he had seen Siebold sitting there at some point. "I remember hearing you mention once that you frequent this place, and I wanted to see your true potential in battle." "Hah! What's your real reason?" "Hm? I came specifically to see you." "... Suuure.." The Johtonian reclines in his seat, giving a mean side-eye Siebold's way in his suspicion. Siebold just returns a smile. "You battle beautifully. Why not take on the Lumiose Conference this year? What you create should be shared with a grand crowd, at least." A typical Siebold-style suggestion. But Siebold could see it in this man. With such attention to present a memorable battle - wouldn't it be better to share the experience with more who can appreciate it?

"Too many rules. Not too fond of the prize, I have no intention of taking on the Kalos Elite Four." He gives a smug smile, " No offense." Siebold chuckles. This man plays far too hard to get. "As always, the sting from Ume Tsuga is so harsh. Not even worthy as an opponent in battle. If it weren't me, I wouldn't find it charming." A faux expression of disappointment as he averts his gaze, swirling his spoon at the lip of his teacup.

The man before him's name was that of Ume Tsuga, and had been working at La Couronne for quite a while. He is the the master of spices and sauces, unmatched in his capabilities to formulate the most mouthwatering home-made sauces that bests even Siebold. Though, he was not the best when it actually comes to cooking anything. And of course, of all his co-workers, he's closest to Felicite Guilliermond. "How about you come back to my place? You've given me a bountiful amount of inspiration, so how about we celebrate such a breathtaking performance? Besides," his voice lowers as he leans forward and whispers across the table, "and perhaps a firsthand show on how you made that delectable sauce from the other day." "Huh?" Ume stares with a cold shiver, then becoming as still as a stone. He definitely wouldn't fold on a revelation to embarrassing, especially not in public. But it was at least worth letting Ume know that he knew. Siebold smiles at him once again. "Don't act oblivious now. Felicite tried to take blame for it, after all. Hm-hmm." Siebold stands from his seat, then holds out a hand to the culprit. "Now, shall we?"

[brokenrefraction]

Ayy gerd gang rise up!

My body just suddenly decided at some point that I can no longer eat my literal favourite vegetables (tomato and bell pepper), or salami, or cheese, or white bread without Fucking Dying :( (I still eat them though lmfao)

GOD I FEEL YOU SO MUCH 😭 i can't eat too much chocolate (literally one of my favourite foods) because It Causes More Acid but something i found out is how i literally am NOT ALLOWED to eat noodles because of their spices

so like. in summer of this year my gerd worsened significantly (that's when i found out i had gerd even tho i had symptoms for years) because i used to eat a lot of noodles and my gerd got worse to the point i used to cough because of it so like. i had to stop. and with pantoprazole it suddenly got better

THEN i tried eating 1 cup of noodles in mid september cus i was like. well it has been a while and i don't cough anymore and i'm on pantoprazole so i can eat one right. WRONG! I COUGHED THAT NIGHT! anyways yeah fuck gerd sorry for the ramble Why Can't Our Stomach Just Be Normal Gang

[starrbar]

First sketch pair is a leftover vent from my previous low point that I forgot to paste on the previous page.

Something funny that happened to me afterward was that I ordered a sandwich—my usual: Italian BMT with pickles, banana peppers, mayo n mustard, and shredded cheese. And instead of pepperoni, salami, and ham, I got meatballs and marinara! o_o

Also more of me mocking the way certain people act like they're allergic to people with kinks they don't like. Someone recently told me that it was manipulative of me to make a post asking for mutual aid for an artist I like without disclaiming that they're an "open proshipper", as if that's such a game changer and this stranger WOULD have deserved help if not for their kinks, which are no one's business to judge.

Like can people not wrap their head around the fact that they only get to know my kinks because I let them, and even if I kept them private—which everyone has a right to do, if you've forgotten what personal boundaries are—that would not change someone's ability to judge how SAFE I am to be around. But nah, people wanna keep pretending they can detect predatory intent through people's fuckin' fantasies. Grow up.

[werehamburglar]

I'm a manager at a pizza place these days; it makes my job a MILLION times less stressful if people tell us they have an allergy. If you're ordering our dairy-free cheese at the register and thinking about the meat lover's option, I'll automatically advise you against it or specifically to sub out the salami, because the salami we have has dairy in it, and I'll make the kids get out a new thing of pineapple. We have a fairly-regular customer whose son is incredibly allergic to peppers (bell peppers, paprika, etc.), so, when we make her pizzas, we close the pepper shaker, get new sauce and cheese, and sanitize a specific portion of the counter away from the bell peppers and both containers of pepperoni.

Like, yes, you have to allocate a specific person to get new gloves, sanitize the counter (or even take things to the back if there's just too much going on up front), and handle the allergy concern for any DF, GF, no tomato, no pepper, no "clumping cheese" (very specific older man), no garlic, etc., until it reaches the end of the line, gets double-wrapped, and gets in your hands. It can be a bit of a hassle. But that's fine. The kids can cope. Sometimes one of them will be on "gluten-free" duty for an hour or two and that's their night. They'll live and, if you tell us, you'll get out of it fine, too.

Point being, if it's an allergy, we HAVE to know. We can not accommodate you unless we know. We can not take it seriously unless we know. I made it my job, even before I got promoted, to know these things-- because I care to! So the GF crust is rice-based, we put soy oil on the normal wheat crust (I oil the bottom of the tote and we all oil the top), there's margarine in the pan pizzas, the salami is a dairy concern, and the DF cheese is a potato starch-based "mozzarella shred" that also, secondarily, is made of corn solids. Cool. And you should check the GF crusts at 10 minutes btw. But I can't tell you about the soy oil if you don't ask about soy.

And I do care to look and disclose. My stepdad is allergic to like... every fruit. My brother is allergic to bananas. I'm allergic to chamomile and raw carrots and I can't be around fresh-chopped onions. We're all lactose intolerant. You can't delegate onion-chopping to someone else or ask someone to stop eating a banana in the car unless they know you need them to do that.

Stop being embarrassed with your dietary needs and tell the restaurant. Your local pizza place likely gets cheese in the cause on a rush day. If it's important, ask if they wouldn't mind. They probably won't. They probably need to grab a new tote anyway.

Hey real quick PSA: If you have food allergies TELL RESTAURANTS. I know it’s inconvenient and sometimes people are shitty but for real, please, tell waitstaff it’s allergy specific, don’t just order it without the allergy ingredient.

This was brought up in my mind again since my step-MIL would get furious if someone presented her with a food she couldn’t eat with her Crohn’s but she’d never told them in the first place what she couldn’t have or how severe her reactions were.

When I worked at the pizza place a ton of people would order pizzas without cheese for a variety of reasons, but only occasionally would they say it was because of an allergy.

This one day a white lady came in and ordered three pizzas with no cheese. I have no explanation for why I followed up, especially because she was extremely moody and snippy. But I asked, “Is this because of an allergy?”

“Yes,” she snapped.

“If it’s for an allergy you should know we do use a small amount of cheese in the red sauce as well. Is the allergy severe?”

“What? Yes, he’ll literally die, his throat closes up and stuff.”

I stared at her. Someone she was serving pizza to would die on contact with cheese? And she didn’t even bother to tell us that?!!?? Why in gods name was she even in a pizza place???

“Don’t you have anything without cheese?” She demanded.

I ended up doing a garlic rubbed crust with toppings.

I had to scrub down all the counters and surfaces and grab fresh bins for all the toppings to try to avoid any cross contamination and the extra time made her roll her eyes in exasperation. Like I’m sorry safety protocols are inconvenient but I hope this person you’re trying to murder leaves your life.

But anyway. Please be safe. Disclose your allergies.

[swordsonnet-bardofwar]

Saxon style cabbage noodles:

Ingredients:

500g-1kg spirelli or fussilli noodles (depends on how much you want)

½ head of white cabbage

1 onion

Salami

ham cubes/bacon cubes

2-3 tsp paprika powder

1 tsp cumin

salt, pepper

Oil

Recipe:

Cut the cabbage into small strips and cook in salted water till mostly soft.

Cook the noodles till al dente. Cut the salami and the onion into cubes.

In a big pot, sear the onion, salami and ham and season it with the salt, pepper, cumin and paprika.

Add the cabbage and let it simmer on low heat for about 10 minutes - don't forget to stir!

Add the noodles and mix well, simmer for another 3-10 minutes till everything is properly cooked through/soft enough for you.

The food tastes best when it has had a few hours to steep, I recommend making it the say before you want to eat it (how I like it best) or at least 5 hours before consumption. You can reheat it in the pot and It'll taste even better.

[bonefall]

I mean fermented doesnt necessarily mean alcoholic - after all kimchi is made with fermented cabage and bread is fermented too. So is yogurt and a ton of other things we eat. Theres even some meats that are fermented for dishes too.

This is very true! And I did look into a couple of other things that are fermented-- but the problem with cats having anything fermented at all is yeast.

(CW: I talk about yeast, fermentation, alcohol, and the horrors of what yeast can do to a cat's belly. Skip this one if medical discussion of a cat in pain upsets you!)

In fact it's good you mentioned bread, because I was just looking at different types of unleavened bread exactly for this reason. If a cat eats raw dough, yeast can actually ferment in their stomach! This does exactly what you think it would, it turns their body into a chemical nightmare, distending their belly and causing alcohol poisoning

(doing research for these projects is like taking a class on how DURABLE human being are, it's insane! This isn't even unique to cats! Pure carnivores are so fragile!)

The baking process would kill all the yeast inside of the bread, but I decided that I would just not work with it. Unleavened bread and alternate rising agents are cool so I decided to explore those instead. I even found this one really interesting tidbit about how apparently bannock from Britain and bannock from American Indigenous people in America may have evolved independently, down to the linguistic roots being different.

BUT ANYWAY back to yeast

So when I was looking at fermented products, I was looking for things where there isn't yeast present, but also checked off my other rules; namely, that Clan cats are obligate carnivores.

-Kimchi is fermented vegetables, a lot of work for a Warrior to get no nutritional value. Not to mention that without pepper, garlic, and fish sauce it's just... sad cabbage. (also go watch this cool video I found about one of the last traditional onggi pot makers left in Korea because this is actually a very beautiful craft and my life has been enriched by seeing how much care goes into this process)

-This also eliminates sauerkraut, which is a more region-friendly take on fermented cabbage. No nutritional value to the cats.

-Miso can be made from barley but it requires a region-unfriendly type of fungus (Re: The reason I usually start with British tech and work backwards, another example of this principle in action)

-Yogurt and Cheese are dairy products. Warriors are lactose intolerant to begin with, but also don't have an animal they can milk on a regular basis. I don't think a nearby sheep or cow would stay still long enough for a warrior to sit and milk them

What I DID find that we could make, though?

-Vinegar. As long as it's used sparingly and diluted, it can be used as a basis for other recipes including Worcestershire sauce. Though from what I read, cat aversion to the smell of vinegar is legendary.

But I will rule vinegar-based sauces under the 'Stronger Stomachs' exception.

In addition, vinegar is an EXCELLENT cleaning product and something I can keep in mind as an excellent antibiotic next to honey.

-Hard sausage. Pepperoni, chorizo, salami... aside from finagling with the spices I have access to, hard sausage is totally within my reach and sounds like a perfect ShadowClan recipe.

-Something that breaks down poison. I'm willing to be a little bit flippant about the biology of one type of insect or animal to make a Warrior Cat version of hakarl, specifically because I want to show off ShadowClan's crafty food culture and how good they are at creative problem solving.

This one will be in addition to "slug-purging", because I learned some really neat stuff about how to make wild gastropods safe to eat and it'll be a really really cool thing to include in a "How ShadowClan can eat things other Clans can't" type entry

Come to think of it, fermentation would definitely be a very ShadowClan-based activity...

And lastly,

Alcohol

It just feels... wrong to me that there would be a culture of sapient cats who don't use any alcohol at all. Getting tweaked on purpose is practically the mark of a species' intelligence. Dolphins, elephants, monkeys, crows... all recorded finding ways to turn their terrible brains off.

So I do want to make an entry on alcoholic fermentation too, it's just like I said though, it'll take a while to get to because I have dumb math brain and a To-Do list.

But for right now, I've got another ask to answer that will give you a good "basic" alcohol for your cats if you so choose

[inquisimer]

“given your history, i should have known better.” but Neria x Cheese

hndfsjkl I don't know what this is but *throws at you* HERE YA GO

for @dadrunkwriting

~~~

It shouldn’t have been so hard to find sleep in Skyhold. Neria had spent the better part of her life encased in stone walls; there was nothing foreign about the whistle of wind against the fortress or the towering ceilings above her head.

But somewhere along the way, she’d forgotten how to sleep alone.

It started in Kirkwall, where she was originally relegated to the makeshift cot in the back of Anders’ clinic. They’d slept that way, limbs tangled together and sharing a blanket, until she’d scraped together enough funds for a place of her own. Even then, she often found herself sharing: if not with Anders, then with one of the escaped mages who needed a bit more direction before moving on.

With Lavellan, of course, no one slept alone. She’d gravitated toward Rosha pretty quickly and it wasn’t long before the two of them were sharing a bedroll (or an aravel, on their rotation) with Mahanon as well. The three of them slept in a jumble of arms and legs, too warm but comforted, supported, loved.

So though the ambassador had ordered her the finest Orlesian stock for a bed, Neria couldn’t rest. The mattress was soft, the linens softer, the blankets like baby’s breath against her skin. But it was all for naught, with only her own body to warm the space.

That was how she ended up in the kitchens. The cook was bound to notice, eventually, but who was she to question the Inquisitor. It was Neria’s damn fortress, according to Solas. She’d go where she pleased, when she pleased. And right now, that was the end of this table, with an assortment of cheeses spread before her on a cutting board.

She’d stacked cubes of cheddar on top of pepper jack, three or four stacks speared with little toothpicks, standing at attention like the finest of the Inquisition’s troops. In front of them, she’d placed a glob of goat cheese, carved in a roughly approximate humanoid shape, with a strip of salami wrapped about what would be its shoulders.

“You there! There’s a shield in your hand—block with it!” Her voice was already rough from sleep deprivation and she forced it lower in a poor imitation. She nudged the goat cheese commander forward, letting a wisp of mana animate the cheddar troops and making them quake with terror.

“Yes, Commander!” Higher this time, squeaking in just the right place to mock the changing vocal chords of their youngest recruits.

Maker, but she must really be losing it.

The lumpy head of her goat cheese commander crumbled under its own weight and toppled to the cutting board surface. She pinched it between two fingers and popped it in her mouth, only to freeze when she caught sight of a figure in the doorway.

“Couldn’t sleep?” The rumble of Cullen’s voice just confirmed how terrible her own imitation had been. He was dressed as casually as she’d ever seen, in just trousers and a plain white button-up with the sleeves cuffed to his elbows. There was a shadow of scruff across his jawline and the day’s hair gel had worn away, leaving his familiar curls loose about his forehead.

She flushed, with embarrassment and something she’d rather not look at too closely. The table jerked as she forced herself to her feet, sending her toothpick soldiers into a prone position. Cullen’s eyes twinkled with suppressed mirth as she tried to make it look like she hadn’t been childishly playing with her food in a bout of insomnia.

“Given your history I’m not surprised,” he said offhandedly. Neria frowned.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Who do you think Irving groused to when his favorite snack went missing?” Cullen raised a smug eyebrow at her and her blush deepened; she could feel the heat all the way to the tips of her ears. “And who do you think Greagoir complained to about the complaining mages?”

“I knew Solona was lying about having free access, that sneak.” Neria popped one of the stacks into her mouth, catching the toothpick between her teeth as she pulled it out. Cullen’s eyes tracked the movement, lingering on her lips a second longer than was perhaps proper.

“Well, you have free reign here, no sneaking required. Though I might suggest going for it during normal waking hours?”

“Normal waking hours are a myth,” Neria pronounced grandly, hiding her insecurity behind the snark. “I’ll eat cheese whenever I damn well please.”

“Alright, ser poet.” Cullen chuckled, but the expression didn’t quite reach his eyes. They gleamed in the light of the single candle she’d lit, the shadows dancing with concern and care. It was a look that burned her, made her want to run and hide from every emotion that had ever left her scarred.

“Why aren’t you sleeping, Neria?” he asked softly.

She stared down at the cutting board and didn’t answer. She pushed the remaining chunks of cheese around the wooden square, pretending to think but really just hoping he’d give up on this line of questioning.

No dice, unfortunately. A shadow fell over the table; he’d moved closer, close enough for her to identify the worry more readily in his expression. His brow furrowed and his hands jerked upward, hesitant, uncertain, but lightly wrapping around her arms anyway; they gripped more firmly, comforting, when she didn’t flinch away.

A breath escaped her lips in a gentle huff. It felt as though she were in a bubble, filled with the hazy, dream-like feeling that only existed in the hours that could be either late night or early morning. She pressed her forehead against his shoulder, so she wouldn’t have to look at him with her confession.

“It’s so empty,” she whispered, sounding pathetic and broken and shameful. His hands slipped to her back as he pulled her firmly into his embrace. The feel of his arms around her, the beat of his heart against her chest, the warmth from his breath against her hair—something slotted into place in her chest, something she hadn’t quite realized was askew.

Neither of them spoke; tears slipped between her eyelashes and splattered against Cullen’s arm, but he didn’t seem to mind. He rocked her slightly, resting his chin atop her head and humming, low and so soft, she felt it more through her bones than she heard it in her ears.

They stayed like that until the earliest specks of light appeared on the horizon. The cook would be in soon, Neria knew, so she drew back reluctantly, immediately missing the warmth of his skin against her cheek.

The concern hadn’t faded from his face in the slightest. Their bubble was fading, but for now he seemed willing still to overlook the impropriety of the situation. He watched as she swept the remnants of her nighttime escapades into the rubbish bin and sent a cascade of water and soap over the cutting board before replacing it on its hook.

“You could sleep with me,” he blurted. Neria nearly choked; she was sleep deprived and stressed and she must have heard that wrong. Of all people in the Inquisition—

“Not like—not like that,” he hurried on, face as red as hers felt. His blush was endearing and she focused on that, rather than the embarrassingly hopeful skip her heart had taken.

“I just—if you need someone to help you sleep,” he said, one hand reaching up to clasp the back of her neck. The corner of the kitchen floor must have been very interesting, for all the attention he was suddenly giving it.

“I’d…like that,” Neria ventured. Cullen smiled, ever so slightly, then jumped as the faint crow of a rooster reached them from the yard below. He made his excuses and fled, presumably to don his armor before their council.

There were all kinds of questions and misgivings and preoccupations running through her head, but they muted by the fullness in her heart at being held by another living person again. Like a drug, there was little she wouldn’t do to have that on a regular basis.

And wasn’t that a dangerous place to be?

[shoku-and-awe]

Hi, I come to you in my moment of weakness, fellow(gn) food lover. The weakness is that I've never eaten guacamole. But I wanted to rectify it! And since the recipes you share are usually tasty and easy I was wondering if you had some tips or whatever. A personal version. What do you like to pair it with. A link. Anything.

I also wanted to compliment you for your balcony garden! I love gardens in all kinds and shapes.

Thank you so much in advance and I wish you a nice day!

This is so sweet and I am so glad you came to me, especially now, because I have recently seen probably the best guacamole recipe there is!

(1) If I were Cooking For Someone, I'd aim for something like this, but with more finely chopped onion and way less charisma. For equipment, a bowl and fork works fine. I've also never used garlic, but it sounds good... and I figure that shouldn't be a dealbreaker for Italy?

(2) If I'm cooking for myself, I don't deserve nice things, so maybe the official guacamole recipe of Irishcatholicville, Massachusetts. Traditionally, that's just one smushed avocado mixed with a couple spoonfuls of jarred salsa, but I love myself just enough to add citrus, cracked pepper, cilantro if I have it, and heat: either a half a chili pepper, chopped pickled jalapeños, or some hot sauce.

(3) If I'm cooking for someone who thinks avocado is gross, I go for less of a dip/spread and more of a relish, with lots of flavor. Mush two avocados into even, pudding-like consistency, and mince maybe half an onion, an entire bunch of cilantro, at least a whole fresh chili pepper with the seeds, and as much fresh lemon and cracked pepper as you can spare the energy for. (My husband thinks that avocado is too soft and bland, so this originated as half experiment, half fuck-you recipe, but he liked it, so now we eat it.)

(4) Serving suggestions! It's good with basically anything crunchy or bread-like, and/or with lean proteins, but specifically:

Chips and salsa, nachos, pita chips! Quesadilla, tacos, burritos etc., or just plain tortillas Rice and beans, cheesy bean sandwich Grilled salmon, meat, or chicken (especially for the last recipe) Lox..... or maaaybe raw salmon or tuna?? Toast, crusty bread, bagel, etc. Fried or poached eggs Lastly, a block of cheese, salami, a pound of grapes, half a watermelon, and a bowl

Also, followers: What else should I be putting guacamole on???

[meganaut]

THE

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lets get ROIIIIIIIIGHT INTO THE NEWSSSSSS. Where's Pepper Adventure? On hold. Yes baby i am once again putting MORE PROJECTS ON ***HOLD*** HOLY [[smoked salami]]. I think I'm just burnt out on working on games and big projects. Right now in this moment in time, I can't enjoy the work I do anymore. I can't work on games or comics anymore. I've found myself more enjoying the idea of a game/comic moreso than actually working on it. I think I really fucked myself over by working on a webcomic non-stop and then making 2 whole-ass games and trying to work on a third one. I think I just need time and space away from "worky" things. My capitalistic desires of productivity have to be put on hold... For now. If anyone is looking forward to Pepper Adventure, I'm really sorry. You can take solace in the fact that its not cancelled. I absolutely wanna finish Pepper Adventure, its just too great of a project for me to ignore. Too great and too do-able of a project. I just need time to recover.

I know I don't update my blog often, but if you like livestreaming, I'm (mostly) active on my youtube channel over here! I've been doing a lot of livestreams lately and I've been enjoying it! It's fun to talk to myself and pretend I have an audience and am in desperate need of psychiatric help. In all seriousness though, I have been having fun doing streaming. Even when nobody shows up its just nice to sit around and talk to myself and play a game I do (or don't) enjoy. Its been nice. If you do wanna see more stuff from me, your best bet is that youtube channel. Not only do I stream there on weekdays (sometimes), i also upload edited videos of my shenanigans in games. You can find all my past streams here! Lets talk card games

After playing Inscryption I've found myself absolutely enamored and infatuated with the card game genre. I've played tens of card games, even obscure games like the Pokemon Trading Card game. I've tried dozens of card games and man, I just can't get enough. Also there's a shit ton of games that mimic most of Hearthstone. B r e h The card games I've found myself enjoying most are: GWENT Pokemon TCG (yeah im serious) Inscryption (what a fuckin game bro) Mythgard (bruh moment) Elder Scrolls Legends (yuh)

Here are my indepth thoughts on the games:

Gwent:

is fucking good mate. I've played quite a few card games, many I like, many I absolutely dislike, but Gwent is the one I've been coming back to more than the others. Its a simple card game. The object of the game is simple, get a higher number than your opponent. Each card has a number, each number contributes to your overall score. Just get the highest score and WIN. Its that simple. What makes Gwent great is that each card has different abilities and stats that allow it to do different things under certain conditions. Some decks straight up have their own abilities and stuff they can utilize. Gwent is what I consider a deceptively simple game. Its easy to get into. And you can pull off so much shit with cards. I don't want to say its complicated, but it can be. Not like Yu-Gi-Oh though, I hate Yu-Gi-Oh. That shits REALLY complicated. If you ever wanna try out a card game that isn't Hearthstone, Gwent would be my recommendation.

POKEMON Trading Card Game:

is a card game that exists. No really, its real. They don't actually sell Pokemon cards for the sake of selling Pokemon cards. They actually have a game to use those cards in. I know, its absolutely INSANE. Its gameplay is pretty unique. You draw cards, you use Pokemon cards to battle for you (just like the real games). However, you also draw energy and Trainer/item/whatever cards. The energy cards you put on your Pokemans to allow them to do moves (and retreat). I could go on and on about the rules since its a bit more complicated than Gwent. The object of the game is to defeat at least 6 of your opponent's pokemon. For me personally, this game allows more skill and thought than the OG pokemon games would allow. Instead of JUST 6 pokemon, you can have a ton more at your disposal (you can only have so many benched tho). Since each Pokemon has only 2 moves (sometimes 1), you have to REALLY strategize what to do at every turn, maybe switch out Pokemon and stuff, maybe use a Trainer card to heal your pokemon. There's a lot that can go thru your head in a game of Pokemon TCG. Its nice. Sadly you kinda get jackshit in terms of actual Pokemon cards when starting out. You'd have to grind a bit in the online mode and hope you can win with your wimpy starter decks. I haven't played too much of this game, but I can safely say I enjoy the game for what it is. It might not be my first recommendation for bestest card games, but its definitely on the list. You can't do much in the game if you don't sign up with the website. Its nothing unusual, but I feel you should keep that in mind that you gotta create an account first.

Inscryption:

i'll say more about this later cuz im not gonna re-edit this post lmao

Mythgard:

is good... with a pretty big fuckin caveat. There's a lot of Hearthstone games out there that take more than just a "little" inspiration from it (and i guess MTG by proxy). Mythgard is no different. However, Mythgard does quite a LOT to stand out from the crowd. You can move your cards around when they're on the battlefield, you burn cards in order to raise your "Mana" bar. There's a lot going on in Mythgard. Its a pretty fun game, I don't go too indepth with it since its mostly the same Hearthstone stuff that you'll recognize immediately. Plus, I haven't played as much of it as I would like to. I would recommend this game... But there's a BIG caveat with it. You have to register an account with them. Now this doesn't sound too bad, after all I mentioned that the Pokemon TCG does the same thing. Why is Mythgard different? Maybe I'm just paranoid but when a SMALLER game company that I have never heard of asks for my personal email account I get kinda... Sketched out. I don't know if other people feel the same way, maybe its just me but I would consider that kind of a catch in Mythgard's case. I might say "fuck it" later and sign up just to play more of the game. I genuinely enjoy Mythgard but I would be wary of that kinda thing if I were you.

Elder Scrolls Legends:

Once again, another Hearthstone type game. Its not bad though. It has a singleplayer campaign that is really interesting to go thru. I found myself enjoying this one the most out of the Hearthstone-like games for some reason. There's 2 lanes you can play in that alter the gameplay. One of them gives you a stealth ability that basically makes your card unable to be targeted or hit until it attacks. Sad that the game is no longer being worked on and has been mostly abandoned for a couple years now. Its pretty fun. I'm kinda getting tired of writing so I'll just leave it at that. On the topic of Inscryption tho. Man. MAN. M A N . what a game. No spoilers, since I truly believe Inscryption to be a game worth playing blind for. More than Undertale/Deltarune. Its just THAT good man. Absolutely love the simplistic gameplay in the game. I was thrown off quite a bit when the game kept... Well, "changing". But I eventually grew to like the entirety of the game. I cried like a bitch when it was over. Not on stream, sadly. That would've been good content. I cried a day after the stream.

I absolutely wanna say I want to update this blog more often. But at this point every single blog entry I make ends with that condolence. I'll make no promises. Keep gaming, fuckers.

[lettersfrombeyondthegrave]

I'll say it again I don't fucking know what magic Japanese cooking puts in frying stuff but holy shit why the stuff of every single fucking sushi place is so fucking crunchy and delicious like the cooks put their whole pussy, heart and soul in those two fried chicken wings ?? And I don't fucking need to add salt? Me who adds salt to any fucking meat I eat? No.fucking.taste.of.oil.ever ??? So light so crunchy? Bitch I'm gonna order that number 157 a few more times !! And they added some type of spice?? Cus it's slightly red? But I can't even handle fucking pepper in salami, why does my mouth not feel like going into necrosis but just a lil spicy??? WHAT'S THE SECRET !!! I need to know. It's too good. I'm becoming addicted.