#and i didn't even realize the rest of the table was listening to me listing them cus inwas glanving between my fingers as i went through

[altruistic-meme]

my sister set off hyperfixation mode at the end of trivia tonight. and i sat there and listed as many bsd characters as i could remember bc i was trying to list all of the Japanese authors i knew the names of. and then i turned to my left and the trivia group was staring at me jfkajfksjdj

[moonydustx]

Part 2 from this request (thank u again @cartoonykat )

Mihawk, Lucci and Crocodile x F!Reader.

In short: how they would react to F!Reader saying she was pregnant, how they would deal with the child.

(get ready to read, the stories are a little long)

PART 1 HERE - Luffy, Zoro and Ace x F! Reader

Warnings are placed individually in each history.

requests open | one piece masterlist

Mihawk

warnings: fluff. Mihawk and f!Reader are married and want to have children. Mentions of F! Reader be a cook. Very brief mention of abortion (but it was in the past). Content a little spicy, nothing detailed or explicit. Mihawk speaks Spanish a few times in this one (I just couldn't help it). Princesa: princess. Cariño: kind of "Sweetheart"

You had already arranged your sundress countless times, as well as your hair, as well as the entire dinner table. You couldn't sit still, anxious for your husband's arrival. Today you celebrated three years of marriage and you knew that after a long two months, he would return home. You knew his temperament well enough to know that there were high chances of finding him in a bad mood, he hated spending long periods away from the castle and this had been the longest time of all. Of course, your anxiety had nothing to do with the little box hidden in the kitchen.

"Cariño?" You heard his voice from downstairs and in a matter of minutes you already had him in your field of vision. His expression lit up when he saw you and lifted you into his arms. "How I missed you!"

"Me too darling." his hat fell back as you peppered kisses across his face. "My God, how can you stay away all this time?"

"Problems, cariño, a long list of problems." your feet touched the floor again after the long hug. "And what amazing smell is that?"

"Let's just say I used my free time to prepare something special for both of us."

"You should be resting. Last time we spoke, you weren't well." his smile faded, replaced by an alert tone.

"I promise I'm okay." You tried to make conversation just like the day he called you and said you didn't look well. You were talking through a den den mushi, how could he realize that?

"Just give me a few minutes and I'll meet you in the dining room." he asked and placed a quick kiss on your lips.

The minutes of waiting seemed like endless hours, just like dinner itself. You were willing to listen to him talk about how complicated the days at the Cross Guild were, about the news in the world outside your little dome or even how delicious the dough you had prepared was. Your fingers intertwined with his and despite the physical proximity, your mind wandered on how to get to the subject naturally. You had already tried a few times, you had already lost once without even knowing that you expected it, you wanted - and needed - this time to be special.

"Princesa?" he called you, looking towards the cup in front of you. "You didn't like the wine I chose?"

"It's one of my favorites actually."

"Yet it remains untouched." he observed, noticing your hands restlessly hitting the table. "Is something going on?"

"First, I'll get this." You took the wine cork. "Second, wait here for a while."

Twisting the small piece of cork between your fingers - the one you would make sure to keep, you reached for the small box in the kitchen and before long it was standing in front of Mihawk.

"To what do I owe the honor of being presented like this, out of nowhere?" he began to undo the bow, setting the wine glass aside and using both hands to undo the wrapping.

Inside, there were some pregnancy tests, in your desperation to know if it was correct, you took a much larger quantity than necessary. Next to them, a small hawk plush. You had searched the nearby town while picking up fresh items for dinner. At first your idea was to just talk to him, but the stuffed hawk with yellow eyes stole your attention.

"How could I not notice?" he murmured, as if a thought had been spoken aloud. "That means it worked…"

"If you talk about all sex without a condom, without any protection… Drac!"

He pulled you from the chair onto his lap. The hands on your back served as much support as your arms around his neck. Your laughter echoed throughout the castle while Mihawk almost sloppily distributed kisses to any part of your face that he could find.

"How long have you known?" he asked euphorically, a type of state that was rare to find in hawk-eyes.

"A few weeks ago. No, I would never tell you that on a phone call." you interrupted him before he could complain.

For a few minutes, the two of you remained there. Swears like "I love you" "You just made me the happiest man in the world" they were uttered and kisses spread across your face. His hands, accustomed to the weight and brutality of swords, touched you gently. Not like you were something about to break, but rather like something he valued so much. As if he wanted to record every moment of that moment in his memory through the drawings of his hands on your body. The yellowish eyes practically penetrated your soul as you watched Mihawk.

"May I know what's going on in your beautiful head, my princess?" Mihawk's nose caressed your neck, earning a smile from your lips.

"Now you know. It was a low blow to choose my favorite wine." you mumbled, adjusting yourself in his lap.

"No alcohol for you from now on."

"Not for a while now. God, I'd kill for a full glass right now."

"Maybe I have a little idea of ​​how to satisfy that desire of yours."

"What do you say, hawk eyes." Your attentive eyes followed him as he brought the glass of wine to his mouth and slowly drank the drink, in silent provocation. "Are you capable of being so mean to your pregnant wife? I thought it was to satisfy my desire."

"Don't put it like that." He returned the cup to the immense table, his agile hands slid across the bare skin of your thighs. "I just want you to taste it in a new way."

The taste of wine invaded your lips when Mihawk trapped you in a kiss. His tongue opened space in you, eliciting a moan from you when you felt the much-desired taste invade your palate. In an improvised juggling act, without taking your lips off his, you adjusted yourself in Mihawk's lap. Before now your legs dangled around his body, looking for some kind of friction.

"Babe, I need you." you murmured against his lips and his hands held you even tighter, feeling his intimacy harden against yours. "Please, it's on my craving list too."

"Who knew what a little of the taste would do to you." his hands slid over your skin, he could clearly see your skin crawl. "It also seems like you're more sensitive, this is interesting."

"Why don't you take it off and find out?" you pulled his hands down to the hem of your dress.

"Do you want to take this upstairs?" he asked and instead of using words, you just took off the dress you were wearing, throwing it across the kitchen.

You didn't need to shout the news from the rooftops, that night it was enough for Mihawk that you screamed his name, that he valued the body that would be home to your two long-awaited baby. After eliciting screams, nectar and sweat from you unlike many other times when you spent hours caressing each other and talking, you remained awake for a short time. Then Mihawk could notice the small difference in your belly, how it seemed firmer and pointier, different from the last time he had ventured across your body.

"Sorry about the time out." he first made sure you were asleep and then leaned down to whisper against your skin. "I promise to make it up to you. Both of you."

You could notice the different way Mihawk looked at you and not that he didn't do it often, but it became more and more common to hear him say "You look amazing." "You are so beautiful." Soon after the discovery, you also discovered how your husband could go into hyperfocus and the time was to find a perfect home for you. It still hurt you to leave the castle behind, even if for a brief time, but he knew he had tasks to fulfill with the Cross Guild and because of that, he would need to spend more time away from your island home.

The small arranged mansion was also isolated and was a result of Crocodile's help. Despite having little contact with the main part of the island, it was much less minutes away than the old house. At least you would have space to redecorate the entire room to your liking.

"Woman, you really want to spare me from living a long life." Before your protests, you felt his arms wrap around you and take you off the ladder that you were balancing on to finish painting the room. "If this child turns out to be half as stubborn as you, I will be in big trouble."

"Baby, don't listen to your father's nonsense." you mumbled to your belly bump. "And you, did you manage to assemble the crib?"

"No." he practically whispered and as a way of irritating him, you pretended not to hear. "I'm going back to the city, I'm sure there must be something already done."

"You men, with your little swords, can't handle a new toy." You stood on your tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek. "Let's switch tasks."

"You women and your kitchen knives." he grumbled, watching you leave and then return only to look at him with judgement. "Okay, I've been an asshole now."

The light shade of yellow had just finished filling the walls when a bang took the eagle eyes' attention. Hearing you swear, it only took seconds for him to be on the doorstep, watching you contemplate the collapsed crib.

"What were you saying about swords?" he teased but your furious look made him change his mind - he swore he saw something red shine in your iris. "Tomorrow we'll go to town together and get one ready, what do you think my love?"

"A great idea."

"And for now, how about a hot bath, some music and grape juice." well, at least that was the way he had found to prevent you from drinking wine.

"Can we include a massage in the package?" you took advantage of the fact that he was behind your body to lean on him.

"Whatever my dear wife wants."

The house was already ready, toys, clothes and gifts from the most different friends were piling up and by a pure coincidence of fate, Luna arrived into the world on a full moon night. You would carry it in your soul when Mihawk's eyes - golden when they touched the moonlight - met the small pair of irises identical to his.

"My little Luna, you chose the right day to come." he whispered, pacing the sleeping girl from side to side. "You are so perfect."

"Just like her daddy." you answered.

In other situations you would end up in two camps: Mihawk would play the opposite and say that the most beautiful thing in the relationship is you or on days when he was really in a good mood, he would say how lucky you were to have him. That night, he just smiled at your comment. Not a provocative smile like most of the ones he had given his entire life. It was one of those that made the hawk's eyes become just a detail on his illuminated face.

"Thank you my love." he replied to you. "Thank you for bringing me a little piece of heaven, of all this infinity above us. Mi preciosa Luna."

When little Luna wasn't within your reach, you didn't need to make an effort to find her, she would be in her father's shadow. Whether in the moments he took to read or even in some Cross Guild meetings. The other two men didn't seem to mind the little girl's presence, who was always busy with something.

"I think we can… Hey, what's this?" Buggy screamed as he saw the girl climb over him. "Mihawk!"

"Let the girl have some fun. That's what clowns are for, aren't they?" Crocodile responded in a gentle tone while Mihawk kept his eyes on Luna, who without hesitation pulled one of Buggy's ears and sat on the couch next to him.

"You little brat!" the clown made to take the ear from her hand in an almost brutal way as he felt her digging the almost non-existent fingers into the cartilage of the ear. "That hurts."

"I wouldn't want to have to remove your other ear, permanently." Mihawk spoke calmly, as if he had just commented on an everyday fact.

"Sorry to interrupt." You walked into the room, attracting looks, especially from a certain little girl who realized that your ear wasn't that interesting anymore.

"Mami!" Luna immediately started throwing her little arms towards you and even though she tried to at least hide it in these situations it was impossible not to see Mihawk's eyes light up.

"She just took down a Yonkou, I'll be saving a spot on the team for her." Crocodile laughed when he saw your dissatisfied face. "Okay, I guess I'll have to settle for just a single hawk's eye."

On the same day, after a few long hours of meeting between them, you thought that at least your husband would want to rest, to remove any idea of ​​work from inside the house - despite his choice to have brought work into the house while the Luna was still small. Of all the places you expected to find yourself, you didn't expect to find Mihawk with little Luna on his lap, in front of them a large Cross Guild poster.

"Who's that?" Mihawk pointed at the figure.

"It's a crocodile." The word was slurred, but Luna said it anyway with a certain confidence. Again, the man asked, pointing to the next image. "The clown."

"And who is this?"

"Dada!" she cheered, making him laugh along and, consequently, you, happy with your little family.

Lucci

warnings: Lucci is a warning in itself. A lot of angst with a somewhat happy ending. F!Reader was also an agent, she had the fruit that transformed her into a kind of cat. Slightly troubled relationship between him and F!Reader. Completely based on the fact that Lucci is not a complete psychopath (I mean, egghead spoilers ahead: him asking for Kaku's life, how can we not love him? Besides the CP9 cover stories).

A few days had passed since the last time you and Lucci had seen each other in person. The voices demanding mission reports seemed distant as you watched him from the other side of the table and you had known him long enough to know that even though he seemed focused he was still able to see him glance casually in your direction and no one noticed.

You wished the brief meeting could have lasted longer, given you time to think more about what words to use, to fantasize that Lucci would be happy with the idea, but chills ran through your body just thinking about it.

"Hey, meow girl." Kaku nudged you with his shoulder, pulling you back to the real world. "I heard you got into trouble."

"You have no idea." You laughed heartily, pushing him back. "Call me meow girl again and I'll wring your huge neck."

"Hey, I'm just being nice."

"I bet you are, big guy." You pinched the tip of his nose, leaving him grumbling.

"Need to talk to you." Lucci's voice interrupted the two of you, stopping Kaku's laughter and complaints. The man just waved and walked away, leaving you and Lucci alone. "Not here."

He took the lead, his firm steps and serious posture didn't let anyone think anything other than that you - who followed him without the same grandeur - had gotten yourself into some kind of problem. The solid wooden door closed behind you as you noticed Rob Lucci walk through the space, filling two glasses of brandy and handing you one of them. The drink danced through your hands, but never reached your lips.

"You were restless today, pupils dilated, sweat on your face." He touched a temple, noticing the moisture. "What kind of problem did you encounter?"

"I'm pregnant." You ripped the band-aid off at once, with no time to let the thoughts flow through your mind.

The man took a few steps back, looking you up and down and then looking around the entire room. The small shot of brandy in his hand was downed in moments and he took the one you were holding from you, the liquid meeting the same fate.

"And what do I have to do with it?" you already knew his cold temper, but you didn't expect to hear such rude words.

"What do you have to do with this?" you snapped, approaching him. "What do you have to do with this? Use your fucking brain Lucci."

"What's wrong? How can you guarantee that this is my doing?" His tone dropped, becoming threatening. "I have nothing to do with this."

"I knew you could be an asshole, but after all this time?" you gave him a push Lucci didn't react, just letting his body move away.

"We had one night and that was it. This could be anyone's business."

The lie that came out of his lips hurt more than any blow you've ever taken in all these years fighting alongside him.

You threatened to push him, but this time he reacted by guiding your body to the wall and enclosing you in his arms. Your body contracted as you saw him punch the wall next to you and some pieces of concrete fall.

"Get out of here." his tone became a whisper and if it weren't for the argument you were already having, it was impossible to tell he was mad. "You get out of here and ask to leave Cipher Pol today. Ask or I'll throw you out."

How could you have been stupid to think that would lead anywhere? You thought Lucci could have changed something, all the times the two of you could have had some connection felt in vain.

Swallowing your tears and not giving any justification to anyone, a few days later you managed to free yourself from the organization. You knew they would keep an eye on you, but at least now you wouldn't be the target of Lucci's hatred.

A few months later you had already found a new home on your home island, a new spark of hope that everything would work out, even without him. That week you would be six months pregnant and you were already used to the affection and closeness of your neighbors and colleagues. What you weren't used to was strange noises in your house in the middle of the night.

Reluctantly - and against any recommendation from your doctor, you assumed the form that your devil fruit allowed. A completely black cat. You still remembered Kalifa's laugh when you two and Kaku acquired your fruits and she claimed it was curious that you also turned into a feline.

The image of the man you no longer imagined seeing in front of you was there, standing in your kitchen. You wanted to return to your human form and ask what it was about, you wanted to at least feel him again, but the hatred inside you spoke louder. Shooing away the pigeon that accompanied him, you jumped at Lucci, climbing up his suit with your fingernails.

"Stop this." Lucci tried to hold you back, but you kept throwing small kicks at him. Damn the time you trimmed your claws, the damage wouldn't be so great "Stop!"

Fatigue soon hit you and you returned to your human form, even so you continued attacking him, this time with weak slaps.

"You practically called me a bitch." you snapped, having your hands trapped by his. "You humiliated me and now you have the nerve to show up here."

"You need to calm down." you lunged at him, even though your hands were practically tied by his hands. "You're going to hurt yourself, sweetheart, please."

The calm tone of his words hit you before your brain even processed his arms trapping you in a tight hug. It took a few seconds before you actually gave up trying to free yourself.

"Calm down, please." he asked once again, pressing you against his body.

"You left me." hurt replaced the hatred in your voice, this time you were able to let go of him, now calmer.

Noticing that your clothes were gone with your transformation, you turned your back and went to your room, reaching for panties and a robe. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you closed your eyes, trying to regain the lost air and dealing with the weakness that took over your body.

"There are big differences between the anatomy of a cat and a human, even more so when they carry their kittens." Lucci leaned on the doorstep and realized that you still hadn't turned your attention to him. He soon bent down in front of you, taking one of your hands. "How can I help you?"

"You sent me away." the hurt was almost palpable in your voice. "My life was good here, I got a job even though I was pregnant, I started making friends. Why are you here after so long?"

"I couldn't stop thinking about you two." Lucci gave up and sat next to you. "That day I had to lie." he confessed and your attention quickly turned to Lucci. "I saw Yuro following us, him slightly pushing the door to hear us. He was interested in my position just like he was always interested in you. What do you think he would do when he connected the information?" The question remained in the air for some time, long enough for you to feel your heart soften a little. "That's why I asked you to leave, I didn't know how well the little act had worked."

"And how did you find me here?"

"I never lost sight of you." the answer was almost obvious to you, yet it was good to hear. "Besides, even if I wanted to, that annoying giraffe wouldn't leave me alone after I told him about the child." a light laugh dared to cross your lips. "I'm sorry for this."

"I know you meant well, Lucci, but it still hurts anyway." you made to touch his arm, but you flinched. "It doesn't mean that I don't miss you, that I don't want to see you."

"I figured that. As long as you accept me here, accept me in this child's life, I want to stay." he, contrary to what you had done, allowed his hand to touch your skin, turning your face towards him. "And what you want?"

"Can we just cuddle for a bit, please?"

Lucci opted to just pull you into his arms and drag you to the bed, laying down comfortably and allowing you to snuggle into him. Feeling a little wary of how you would react, his hand lightly touched the spot on the back of your neck that you loved being stroked. Surely your cat form would be purring. For a long time, it was the kind of physical contact you had.

The residents of the small village were initially surprised by the man's presence. He didn't stay for long and when he stayed on the island, he only left the house a few times and had a serious expression on his face, not allowing anyone to feel free to talk. And when it was extremely necessary, he preferred to use Hattori for that role.

The little child arrived into the world on a rainy night. Leo was an almost identical copy of his father, except for his eyes that were the same as yours. Lucci only returned to the island two days later and few things could surprise him more than finding you sitting on the bed with several blankets around your body, while you breastfed the little baby.

"Hey." you limited yourself to saying, not wanting to speak more or louder so as not to take away the child's peace.

"Are you cold?"

"I just need to keep the nest… the bed warm, make our little Leo comfortable." You looked at the little one, who was still focused on eating. "Want to see him?" You nodded to the space next to you on the bed.

Lucci got closer and could notice every feature of the baby it was like looking at a small version of him. Until the small eyes found the man's direction and he understood that everything bad that could exist in him, in Lucci, would be compensated by everything good he had in you. A strange feeling took over him, something like possession, like pride, something that if he needed to put into words he wouldn't be able to.

His hands first lowered the cover from your back and then lowered the strap of your shirt. Before you could complain, Lucci started distributing kisses and rubbing his face against your skin, in a strange affection that you gladly accepted. In anyone's eyes, it would be like seeing two cats taking care of their pup.

Lucci was right in his little mental gamble. Leo was a physical copy of him, but he had your personality. Cunning, agile, but kind, a soft heart that accepted anything. Well, almost anything.

"Daddy!" the boy shouted as soon as he saw Lucci enter the small yard after almost two months away. The man just bent down and allowed him to jump into his arms. When Leo was just a few centimeters away, Lucci watched the boy scream in horror and walk away. "Hattori!"

The pigeon landed on Lucci's shoulder and that was enough to explain the story. Ever since baby Leo woke up with the pigeon watching him, the now three-year-old boy was terrified of any bird and poor Hattori was included - and was the main reason.

"Son, I already told you. Hattori is good." you caught up to them, sitting on the floor so you were at Leo's level.

"No, it is not." he grumbled, hiding in the back of your neck. "Get him out of here."

"You need to get used to it." Lucci would once again try and knew he might fail. "Look at me."

"I don't want."

"Leo…" the warning tone caught the boy's attention, who just gave him space to see, not letting go of you. "Look, Hattori is a good friend."

Lucci let the pigeon land on his fingertips. Fulfilling the small unspoken agreement between the two, Hattori remained quiet, accepting Lucci to stroke his head.

"See? Your mom likes him too." Lucci passed the pigeon to your finger and more docilely you caught it.

"Come here." Lucci picked up the boy and whispered something in his ear, probably some promise to the boy. Leo, with his small trembling hand, stretched out his finger and let Hattori land. "See? He can be a great friend."

"He can?"

"Coo, yes sir Leo." As soon as the dove spoke, Leo screamed in fear again, letting the bird fly and throwing himself at you.

"Maybe that was too soon." Lucci commented, helping you stand with the boy on your lap.

That time, Lucci spent about a month with you and you were already suffering from the night he was leaving. Partly because of your longing, even if you hadn't gotten back into the relationship, you couldn't deny how you felt about him. In addition to suffering for little Leo. He admired his father, even though he didn't know what he actually did and even though he maintained a more serious behavior, you knew that Lucci adored the boy.

"Dad…" you watched Lucci put Leo to sleep, with the boy practically with his eyes closed. "You will return?"

"I promise you I will."

"What if I cry just this little bit." he pointed at the small space with his fingers. "Will you still love me?"

The question seemed to take him by surprise. You noticed that Lucci didn't respond immediately and you wondered how many memories were going through his head, of all the death, chaos and hatred that he had carried since childhood. You knew that it was difficult for Lucci to express - and even nurture feelings that were reserved for few people, the bond with you and Leo was unique.

"Absolutely," a rare light chuckle escaped him. "You're my best friend, remember?" Lucci finished covering the boy. "Now sleep."

You blew your little boy a kiss from a distance and closed the door to his room. Like something magnetic you followed Lucci to the small room of the house you two sort of shared.

"Need to talk to you."

"I'm listening." you crossed your arms, bracing yourself for something bad, something like "That was the last time I showed up."

"I'm leaving Cipher Pol." he took a small letter from his pocket. That seal was familiar and the last time you saw it was when you gave up.

"Explain this to me properly"

"Even on a mission in Water 7, being a shipwright wasn't that bad." as he spoke, you felt even more lost. "I've always had my goals. Little Leo wasn't one of them, but I can't ignore him."

"You know you don't have to do that. Our little arrangement has been working." you tried to argue, but Lucci was irreducible, as always.

"I don't really need it. I want it." he spoke firmly. "I'm just going to carry out this mission more."

"Something important?"

"I need to go to Egghead, deal with Vegapunk." he limited himself to speaking, not wanting to go into too many details. Despite asking, your mind was still stuck on the idea of ​​having Lucci always there.

"Promise to come back." the words came out like an order. "Promise now Lucci, please."

Lucci just hung his face, trying to understand where that plea had come from. You always warned him to make promises to Leo, after all, life as an agent and director of CP0 wasn't the safest. Those words didn't usually come out of your mouth.

Ignoring the mix of sensations that accumulated in your chest, you practically threw yourself towards Lucci, taking his lips for yourself. His lack of reaction only lasted a few seconds and you only had to press your body against his for his hands to find your legs and lock them around his waist.

"I promise." he said amidst sighs and footsteps towards your room. "As long as you promise to come back to me, to be mine again."

"I promise."

Crocodile

warnings: angst, but with a happy ending. Crocodile and F!Reader are married, there are mentions of blood but nothing much. Mentions of Cross Guild because I absolutely love the existence of this trio.

Long years, long disputes and problems ago, Crocodile found you lost in Alabasta. Fleeing from a crew that chose to only use you, you found yourself without any direction and when demonstrating your skills to escape some thieves, he saw something interesting in you.

This interest lasted through the years, even into the fall of his reign in Alabasta, even into the time he was trapped in Impel Down, he knew that once he found you again, he wouldn't let something so good slip through his hands like sand in the wind.

That's how the small ring with green details found your hand, which you passed from Miss Honeymoon to his wife. Very little time had passed before you had to face the countless positive tests that piled up in front of you.

You tried to go back to bed in silence, the goal was not to wake Crocodile and over time, find the courage to bring the news to him. However, you failed miserably. As soon as the bathroom door opened, you found Crocodile waiting for you.

"You've been out of bed for a while. Is everything okay?" he asked, leaning against the wall next to the door.

"Y-Yes." Your voice betrayed you, giving away that at least something had happened in there and you knew Crocodile enough to know that he would turn everything over and discover your little secret. "Can we talk?"

"It's a little early for that, isn't it, my little one?" The serious expression on your face told him that the matter couldn't wait. Without asking, he took your hand and guided you back to the bed, placing you in a sitting position. "What happened?"

"I h-guess. I mean." you took a deep breath, the huge room seemed to compress next to you. "I'm pregnant."

Silence prevailed for a few seconds - it seemed like ages between the two of you. You looked for any reaction, for anything, but Crocodile was far away. It was just a physical form in front of you.

"Rest, there's still a long way to go before dawn." he just said, turning his back and heading towards the bathroom.

It didn't take long for you to see him leave, hair wet, steam everywhere, no more words left his lips and the first rays of sun appeared on the horizon when he disappeared from your field of vision. Almost two weeks passed like this, only essential words were exchanged between the two of you, Crocodile spent most of his hours away from home or locked in his office. According to Daz, the boss had problems to solve.

That was it, this would end the relationship that you two had worked so hard to achieve. Without saying anything, you packed your bags, even so you couldn't leave without at least looking at his face. Opening the office door without any kind of ceremony, the first thing that caught your attention was the blood that was staining him, only then did you notice the cut that he was finishing stitching.

"Crocodile!" You got closer, trying to touch the wound, but he pushed your hand away. "Are you okay?"

"It was just a superficial cut." he simply responded, finishing the last stitch and using gauze to cover the wound.

Despite your concern, you would not let your recent decision shake you. Crocodile watched with surprised eyes as you took off the ring you were wearing and with shaking hands left it on the table.

"What is this about?"

"Given the distance, the way you've been treating me, I don't think you were happy with the existence of a baby." You started, trying to make your voice steady. "But I am and it's okay that you don't want to have a child, but I do. I just don't want to have to deal with this indifference, this distance. You don't talk to me, you don't sleep in our bed…"

"Calm down darling, please." he asked, his unshaken tone quite contrary to the worried expression on his features.

He took your hand and gently made you circle the table, standing next to him. Crocodile then took three brown folders from a drawer, each of which had a name and a photo of a guy.

"Do you remember them?" you still remembered the faces, before settling on the new island, the two of you evaluated how the entire system worked.

"The three main leaders here on this island. This one is responsible for the bandits." You pointed to the first photo and then to the second. "This one was a pirate too, as I remember."

"And this one works in the slave trade." Crocodile took a pen and crossed out his photo, just as the first man's photo was also crossed out.

"And what does this have to do with what I told you just now?" you tried to move away from the table, but the hand on your waist stopped you.

"As we once talked about, I planned to calmly find a place for my business, maybe some partnerships…" he put the folders aside, turning his attention completely to you. "Now with this. With our baby on the way. I can't allow there to be threats of this level around."

"What do you mean by that, my dear?" the endearing word involuntarily escaped your lips, a clear sign that you couldn't help but have love for Crocodile, even with the hurt.

"I needed to speed up my business, exclude some of these faces." He held your face and pressed his forehead to yours. "I can only be happy with this news when I know you two are safe."

"Crocodile…"

"I'm going to be the happiest man on this island when I can walk around showing off my beautiful, shiny, pregnant wife, carrying my little one. I don't want our children to have to see the terror we've both experienced throughout this life."

"I thought you didn't want me anymore." you let your hands wrap around him and his found a similar path around your body.

"I'm a man of my word and when I said I want you for the rest of my life, I really meant it." His lips traced their way across your face. "Please give me just a few more days and I will allow myself to be happy with this news."

It took another week before you woke up in the middle of the night, feeling something you hadn't felt in time. The icy contrast of his hook revealed that Crocodile had accidentally slept in that position. Head and one hand resting on your belly, in a protective mode. Apparently, the day had finally come for him to allow himself to be happy.

The months that followed were calmer, with the full-time man being your shadow, even on the tireless afternoons of shopping you did, Crocodile was there. At least he considered himself lucky and rewarded, since your raging hormones acted in a somewhat pleasant way for him - which made Daz find the two of you in a vulnerable way in the kitchen.

The best doctors from across the island gathered in the grand mansion when Ella was born. An identical copy for you, much to Crocodile's happiness. You knew that Crocodile would dedicate himself to being a father, even if it didn't work out, however, you couldn't be more wrong. On many nights, the girl was only able to stop crying when she found her father, or afternoons became calmer when, while the two of you talked and made plans, little Ella was distracted by the piles of sand that her father was. capable of producing. Apart from the fact that he had decided to give a baby Bananawani as soon as she turned her first birthday or when he made a replica of the hook he had for the little girl, everything was going well in the relationship between the three of you.

Despite being your copy in terms of features, her personality was much more similar to her father - and she was extremely close to him. With a cunning capable of convincing everyone, it didn't take long for Ella to be able to soften even Daz's heart. There wasn't a thing the girl asked for that Crocodile's faithful partner wouldn't go after. Cross Guild mates were also victims of Ella. In this case, just one of them. Mihawk thought it was funny for someone so small to have such an irreverent stance as Crocodile, despite almost getting him expelled from the Cross Guild when he was caught letting Ella play - or at least try - to manipulate Yoru. As for Buggy, Ella preferred to keep her distance. One of the few things the girl couldn't deal with easily was the existence of clowns.

The scream of horror that crossed the corridor invaded your ears, as well as those of the other two men who were next to you. Recognizing the voice, you and Crocodile jumped to your feet, quickly heading to where you thought the source was. Arriving in the kitchen, Crocodile barely had time to balance himself when he saw Ella hugging his legs, looking for some kind of help.

"A monster daddy, a big monster." Crocodile picked her up and felt the girl's heart racing even with all the fabrics separating him from her skin. "He's right there."

"It's okay, sweetie." your voice reached her ears, which were practically the only possible point of contact. Her eyes were sunk into her father's shoulder, her small hands almost pierced the fabric of his overcoat.

"I have my suspicions about what this monster is." Mihawk, who you hadn't noticed following the two of you, spoke up. "And I agree with you Ella, it's a pretty ugly monster." the cynicism was clear in his voice.

"Look at your father, my little one." Crocodile asked and found two orbs damp with tears. "Was it a monster with an ugly, red nose?"

"You lizard, you don't talk about my nose." Buggy practically rolled out of the pantry, eliciting another scream from the girl who went back into hiding. "She who appeared out of nowhere here."

"He's harmless, Ella." you tried to catch her, but the girl refused to let go of her own father.

"She's in her house, she has the freedom to do whatever she wants." Crocodile's threatening tone didn't go unnoticed. "You know what awaits you, don't you, clown?"

"Hey, I didn't do anything." he grumbled, approaching you already knowing that Crocodile would scalp him soon. "Look here, pretty girl, Uncle Buggy is your friend."

"Everything is fine." you interrupted the clown, who only scared your daughter more. You knew that the two of them probably just bumped into each other in the kitchen, but little Ella's fear spoke louder in these moments. "You are not going to do anything." you muttered to Crocodile and turned to the clown in question. "And can you stop this, you're only scaring little Ella more."

"Let's get out of here, my little baby." your husband grumbled, turning his back and going in front, you couldn't make out exactly what he was saying, but he seemed to be trying to reassure Ella, who was just sniffling now.

The sniffles were replaced by a small laugh, when you looked to the side the reason made you laugh too. Mihawk had turned the blunt side of the sword and hit Buggy a few times, who grunted back.

"We don't scare little girls here, we only scare bad mariners." Mihawk repeated the gesture and you knew he wasn't using any of the full strength he had. "Don't scare little Ella."

The hawk's eyes blinked at the girl, who continued laughing - much to the reassurance of Crocodile, who was already thinking of methods to torture his fellow Cross Guild member. No one scared his little girl.

[stariekis]

ops ... just got caught !

pairing : idol!ni-ki + fem!reader . genre : fluff . cw : kisses and i think that's all <3 . wc : 2.3k

— synopsis : you must be very careful confessing your feelings, that said person might hear you ...

— notes : i love my silly lil awkward ni-ki 🤲🏻 i really hope you guys like it <3 as always reposts are very welcomed here ! ~

— 'Oh my god yes I do have the biggest crush on her can you guys like leave me alone'. the other six boys that were sitting on the table right in front of ni-ki were in complete shock.

For a bit hit of context ; Ni-ki and you are childhood best friend, both of you traveled together to Korea wanting to be idols. But some years later you found out that maybe the idol life wasn't for you and decided to stop training and started studying again. Both of you kept in contact, even though he have the busiest scheduel ever he always makes sure to save some time of his day to talk to you.

Because of your studies you've been living abroad for some time now so you and Ni-ki haven't seen each other after the day you move to your current city. This lead us to the current situation.

You were standing behind his tall figure, your mouth hanging open as you heard what the boy just said. Today was the last stop of their 'fate tour', which happens to be the city where you where currently living, and you decide to surprise him at the restaurant where they planned on eating after the concert ended.

When Ni-ki saw all of his friends looking behind him with such expressions he turned around slowly. That's when his eyes met yours.

He didn't know what to feel, he was happy obviously but when he realized that you might have heard what he just said he felt a wave of awkwardness taking over his whole body.

He turned around as fast as he could and tried to hide his face in his hands, wanting to avoid your gaze. — 'Well hello to you too big boy' you said giggling a bit, you came closer to him and gave him a back hug while he was still sitting on his chair.

While hugging him you took his hands out of his face and gave him a quick peck on his red tinted cheeks — 'You heard that didn't you?' Ni-ki asked, tilting his head to the side a bit to look at you, finally able to look at your eyes.

You nodded, your hands intertwined with his as you play with his rings — 'And if you want an answer, i also have the biggest crush on you' and right after you gave him your answer to his confession he turned to you and got up from his chair.

He stood in front of you, his hands holding your face. He looked at your eyes and mouthed a silent 'are you serious?', as soon as you nooded your head he closed the gap between the two of you, kissing you softly.

— 'You two, this might be a private area but we are still here, save it for later' said Sunghoon. Ni-ki pulled away and look at his older brother with the most terrifying gaze he has ever give them.

All eight of you spent the rest of the night together. They kept asking you about your life there and you gladly told them, all of this happening while Ni-ki looked at you with the biggest loving eyes ever while listening to you.

What a better way to end such a successful tour than this ?

tag list (open.) : send an ask if you want to be added <3

[vanesycho]

You write so, so, so well. New reader here. I esp think you write imagery so well - like it transports the reader THERE. 🫡

Is it alright to request for fluff/angst with Jeno? Like girl pines for him and he likes somebody else at first. But when she starts moving on (or maybe fake dating/just being chummy with someone else), he catches feelings or something? I dunno - I just want a jealous Jeno in my life. 🫠😅

Thank you so much for your nice comment and request🤍🤍 I had so much fun while writing this, I hope you enjoy reading it too🥹

friends to lovers with Jeno [Fluff / Angst]

playlist:laufey-let you break my heart again/ laufey-magnolia/ sarah kang-hopeless romantic/ kwon jin ah-the universe

wc:2,8k

──────────────────────

You didn't listen to your friends' conversation, you had arranged to meet at a cafe but your mind was only on Jeno, he still hadn't come and you were quietly waiting to see his face. You let out a breath of exasperation and took a sip of your drink, turning back when you heard the door of the cafe open, Jeno walked in with that smile of his that you were a fan of. He greeted everyone at the table and you watched him, stood up and were about to hug him but he walked past you and you stopped in your tracks. You felt your heart ache as Jeno walked towards Minji in the corner and hugged her tightly. You tried to hold back the tears as your eyes filled with tears, you sat down in your seat in shame, Jeno grabbed your shoulders and leaned towards you before he sat down his seat "Hello to you too."

He walked over to Minji and started chatting with her directly, you spent the rest of the time in silence, taking a deep breath every time you heard the two of them laughing, Jaemin noticed this and leaned towards you "Are you okay, princess? You've been awfully quiet today." You turned to him and smiled slightly, Jaemin was always the only one who could notice you in a crowd, he would do anything to make sure you didn’t feel left out and upset. You nodded, "I'm fine, thank you." He raised an eyebrow, then studied your face, you laughed at the facial movements he made as he narrowed his eyes. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, I promise, I'm fine." You listed the words that you knew very well were lies one by one. Even though Jaemin wasn’t satisfied with your answer but he didn’t push it, still asking again every now and then throughout the rest of the day to make sure you were okay.

As the clock ticked down, your friends left the table one by one, leaving only Jaemin, Jeno, Minji and you. You didn't want to watch them, each scene making your heart ache more. The way Jeno smiles at Minji while she's talking, how he fixes her messy hair every now and then, how he never stops complimenting her...

You were close with Jeno but not as close as she was, you couldn’t be, you always held yourself back, you always thought you weren’t enough for him. You didn’t think you were beautiful, even though Jeno said the opposite, every time you said that he would get mad at you and tell you to never say something like that to yourself again. But after a while you realized that he had stopped caring, there seemed to be a momentary coldness between you and Jeno, now you understand why.

"Oh wait a second, keep talking." Jeno reached for Minji's hair, he fixed it, and when you stood up quickly, everyone at the table turned to you. "Sorry, I have to go too." Jeno asked, “Do you want me to give you a ride? It’s too late." You quickly shook your head in the negative. "No no, don't bother." You took your bag and left the cafe without waiting any longer. You heard the sounds of running behind you. Jaemin stopped in front of you and you saw that he was out of breath. “Jaemin? Why did you come?”

Jaemin put his hands on his knees and tried to catch his breath, he stood up and pointed his index finger at you "I couldn't stand seeing that disgusting couple, and come on, explain what happened." You rolled your eyes. “Nothing’s wrong Jaemin, I’m just sleepy and want to go home.” He crossed his arms, leaning towards you. “So you don’t love Jeno and not get jealous of him because Jeno likes her.” You opened your eyes in surprise. “What- are you-”

You jumped back when he gave you a light flick on the head. “Ouch!” He came closer and rubbed you forehead "I'm sorry Y/n, but I thought you needed to get your head together, of course I know, you stupid? You couldn't have made it so obvious, but I don't know who's more stupid, you or Jeno who can't see this because he's blind as fuck." He put his hand on his chin and thought for a while "I can't decide, you are both stupid." You let out a breath of exasperation. “Well, Jaemin? This really isn’t the time to be joking around. Say whatever you want to say." He clapped his hands excitedly and grabbed your arms. "Let's make him jealous." You tilted your head slightly to the side and mumbled to yourself, "I think you're the real stupid here."

"No no listen, it will definitely work, let's set up a meeting for tomorrow and leave the rest to me." You took your arms off of him "The part where I leave the rest to you scares me even more." rolled his eyes "Ha. ha." He watched you as you started walking towards your house, following you with small steps. “You know I can’t stand seeing you sad, you love Jeno so much, even the way you look at him shows, I understand if you don’t want to do this but please…Don't let him get you down and when you feel the slightest bit sad call me and I will kick his ass."

When you arrived in front of your house you turned to him, he chuckled as you wrapped your arms around his waist, put his head on top of yours, wrapping his arms around you. "Thank you, Jaemin." Your hug lasted a little longer, he wouldn't pull away unless you pulled away, he would make sure you got as much as you needed, he was like a long lost brother to you. "Y/n?"

You stepped back as the person called your name, you looked to the side and saw Jeno, he walked towards the two of you "Jeno? I thought you were at the cafe." Jaemin took a few steps back and watched you. "Minji had to leave early too. I was worried when you left like that, you looked so dull all day." You hummed. "I see." The awkward silence between you continued until Jeno noticed Jaemin behind you. “Did you come here together?” When you opened your mouth to answer, Jaemin quickly came to you and wrapped his arm around you. "Yeah I couldn't leave her alone you know, someone had to do it and since you talked to Minji I did it."

You looked at Jaemin’s arm wrapped around your shoulder and then at his face. Jeno couldn’t answer, he gathered the words in his head. "Then...I'd better go? Good to see you're okay Y/n, good night." You watched as Jeno turned away, watch him go making your heart ache again as Jaemin turned to you with excitement. “Yes yes!! Did you see what happened?” You turned to him with a pout. “Yeah, you practically made him leave, we could have talked more..." Jaemin rubbed his eyes with one hand and pinched the bridge of his nose in anger. “Y/n, I love you but sometimes you deserve to have your ass kicked.”

You were about to raise your hand and hit him but he stopped you. “Okay, okay, listen to me. It's not taken him so long to get here, that means he didn't even drop Minji off at her house and came after you just because he was curious. If you believe it."

"And?" he took a deep breath. "And did you see the look in his eyes when he realized I was being so close to you? He was definitely jealous and angry." You laughed hysterically "Okay now you're talking nonsense." Still, you couldn't help but think, he really had come to your house. Could it be possible? It wasn't even the last thing you thought that Jeno had feelings for you, but Jaemin, who you thought was talking nonsense, was talking sense. "Even so, why would he like Minji?" Of course, Jaemin did not leave this unanswered "Because Jeno is an idiot who doesn't know what he feels for anyone, his heart is with you but he's too blind to realize it, so that's where I come in." He spread his arms out to the side and showed himself ostentatiously. “Don’t worry, it won’t even take long for him to notice, just give it a day.” He ruffled your hair. "Good night." Jaemin went in the opposite direction, you went into your house and gave yourself some time to think.

──────────────────────

"I can't believe we're going to do this." You said as you waited in front of Jeno’s door “You know, you think too much, relax and leave the rest to your Jaemin oppa." Jeno opened the door and smiled when he saw the two of you, you stepped into his house without waiting when he invited you in.

The first few minutes went by normally but then the conversation was interrupted by a phone ringing, you saw Minji's name on Jeno's phone, Jeno answered the phone "Yes? You here? I'm coming." Jeno stood up "I'll be right back Minji is here I'll help her find the house." Jaemin crossed his arms where he sat. “You invited her? I thought it was going to be the three of us?” You thanked Jaemin in your mind for asking him the question that was on your mind. Jeno couldn’t think of anything to say. Jaemin raised an eyebrow questioningly. “I just didn’t want her to be alone. Would it be bad if she hung out with us?” He left the room without giving Jaemin a chance to respond, leaving the two of you alone. Jaemin laughed hysterically. “Hah! Look at Jeno, he thinks he's smart." When he noticed that you weren’t making any noise, he turned to you, you were just staring at the floor. “Jaemin, can we please go? I told you it was a bad idea."

Jaemin quickly approached you "No, are you crazy? No backing down, if that's how he wants to play then that's how we'll play too." Jeno and Minji walked in shortly after, Minji gave a quick hello to the two of you and of course sat down next to Jeno.

You talked about a few things and passed the time. "Hey, let's play truth or dare." You frowned at the idea Jaemin had come up with. “Are we teenagers Jaemin? We talked so well, where did the game come from?”

"I think it could be fun, right Jeno?" You gave up and agreed to play as Jeno immediately nodded in agreement. You all sat down on the floor and placed a bottle in the middle, Jeno spun the bottle and you let out a deep breath as you and Jeno stood first, you really didn't want to do this. "Truth or dare?" "Truth." You replied quickly, just wanted it to be over. "Is there something going on between you two?"

"Huh?" The question caught you off guard, it was a question that would stay in your hands no matter what you said, if you said yes, if you even had a chance with Jeno, you would end it yourself. But if you said no, it wouldn't have gone according to plan. You felt the eyes of three people on you, Jaemin saw that you were struggling and he cussed Jeno out. "Even if there is, would it be any of your business?" Jeno continued to stare at you, you refused to look at him, as he spun the bottle again, "No. No it wouldn't."

A few rounds of normal questions were asked, then the bottle stopped at Jaemin and Jeno. "Truth." Jeno replied. Jaemin fell silent, his eyes fixed on Jeno. Jeno waited calmly for his question. “So is there anything going on between 'you two' ?” Jeno laughed hysterically, "Come on Jaemin, come up with more creative questions."

"You didn't answer my question." "Y/n didn't answer either." You exhaled in exasperation, your heart tightened, even coming here and meeting was a mistake, you didn't want to deal with these two fighting. "Guys please, let's just finish the game." "We can finish after you answer my question." Jeno turned his eyes back to you. You looked at him. “None of your business.” He grinned. “So that’s a yes? Since you insist on not answering.” He starting to get on your nerves, what was with this attitude? Was Jeno thinking about you now?

Your voice rose up unintentionally. “Why do you care about having someone in my life when you have someone in yours? All you’ve been doing lately is ignoring me.” He tilted his head to the side, the tension in the atmosphere making Minji and Jaemin nervous as well, the two of them watching you both with silence, as they glanced at each other, not sure if they should intervene. “Ignoring you is the last thing I want to do, Y/n. You’re the one who’s been acting cold towards me. I thought you didn't want me because every time I tried to get close to you you pushed me back."

"I didn't push you away, you just walked out of my life."

"No, I didn't-"

"Enough!!" Minji’s shout interrupted the two of you, even Jaemin didn’t expect her to shout and looked at her in surprise. She turned her head to Jeno "I can't keep this up anymore Jeno, just tell her you love her, god." You frowned. “What do you mean?” "Minji-" Jeno spoke angrily, Minji ignored him and turned to you "This idiot tried to make you jealous because he couldn't stand you ignoring him and thought this would work, but I guess he couldn't stand it when the same thing was done to him?" She grabbed her bag and stood up "You better fix this thing between you two, because I don't want to hear Jeno's love poems about you anymore, like I'm gonna throw up."

Jaemin watched Minji with a grin, he also stood up and followed her. “Jaemin?” You called out to him, he turned around "I'm sorry Y/n, you're on your own, I have things to take care of, you know." The two left the house, leaving just the two of you, silence took over the room, you were even afraid to breathe. "Y/n." Hearing your name from him made your heart beat faster but you couldn't look at him, he approached you and put his hands on your shoulders. "Do you really think I'm ignoring you?" He leaned his head towards you and tried to catch your gaze, you swallowed, your voice coming out quieter than you expected. "I... I don't know, you just weren't the same, and when Minji came along all of a sudden, I thought you were distancing yourself from me because you liked her."

Tears welled up in your eyes. You couldn't cry in front of him, not right now. He brushed back the hair that was covering your face, holding your cheek and making you look at him, smiling slightly when he saw your beautiful face. "I'm so sorry, I made you feel bad, I'm such an idiot Y/n. But I don't understand...If you...Love me too? Why did you push me back?" Jeno felt his heart clench when he saw a tear run down your cheek, he wiped the flowing tears with his thumb. You tried to gather your sentences, and as you felt his warm touch on your cheek, you realized how much you actually missed him.

"I..I was scared, I thought I wasn't enough, I was scared that you would only see me as your friend, I thought you deserved someone more beautiful and better than me." You listed the thoughts in your mind one by one. He looked at you in surprise and opened his mouth, “You...How can you think of yourself like that?" He pulled you to him and wrapped his arms around you tightly, he put his hand in your hair and started caressing, you couldn't hold yourself back anymore and more tears flowed.

"I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, it makes me sad that you don't even know how beautiful, sweet and naive you are. If it were possible to give you all the love in the world, I would do it without a second thought, because you deserve every single word of love, Y/n, every single compliment. I don't know if you will accept my love but...If you do I promise I will make you feel all my love." You pulled back, he didn't take his arms off of you, he watched you lift your head to look at him while still hugging you. He chuckled at how cute you looked as you looked at him with tears in your eyes, he kissed the tip of your nose. "Do you want to start over, this time as my girlfriend?" You smiled and answered without hesitation, "I would love to."

[sstan-hoe]

— 𝑊𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑇𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑂𝑢𝑡 —

𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 — mob!bucky barnes × fem!reader

𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦 — “i don’t know what kind of wine you’re meant to have with takeout, so i got both.”

𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 — none! But listen to PERFECT from ED SHEERAN please you should really do it

𝑁𝑜𝑡𝑒 — this was requested by the lovely @bucky-barnes-diaries who gifted me with this marvelous idea, it screamed mob au where he only knows fancy but reader isn't as fancy, reblog, follow and comment !

𝑉𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑒'𝑠 𝐷𝑎𝑦 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡

To say Bucky was nervous would be an understatement, he was anxious. Never before did he have a Valentine's Day as important as this one.

It was the first Valentine’s day he would celebrate with you. For weeks he had planned the perfect day, with a private screening of Jojo Rabbit and a fancy dinner afterwards. Then one night as you laid cuddled up in bed you told him how you didn’t want to do anything fancy.

You hadn't grown up in luxury or lived in it for a long time like Bucky. Of course you knew he only wanted to cherish you, but you didn't need that.

Instead your idea was to buy takeout and have a nice relaxing evening.

That wasn't on Bucky's list. However he wouldn’t do something that you didn’t want which was why he was currently in his wine cellar looking for the perfect wine. The Domaine Leroy Musigny Grand Cru and the Coche-Dury Corton-Charlemagne Grand Cru, but which wine would someone drink with takeout? Red or white? Or no wine at all? He decided to take both.

You were already buzzing with excitement, this Valentine’s day would be special which was the reason you wanted to do something normal and not fancy. In the past years you’ve never met a man quite like Bucky, he was a gentleman, cared for you, worshiped you and respected you.

Everything was finished, a set table with fresh roses, dim lights and romantic playlist you found on Spotify. Now any minute Bucky would come and sweep you off your feet.

The doorbell rang and you had to keep a giggle from coming to the surface as you skipped over to the door. Opening the wooden door it revealed Bucky, his hair pulled back into a man bun, he wore black jeans and a matching black flannel.

“Hey there handsome…,” you smirked leaning against your doorframe. Bucky mirrored your smirk and stepped closer to you. “Hello, beautiful…,” he leaned his face down, his nose almost touching yours.

In moments like these you realized once again how tall he was compared to you. Bucky’s hand grasped your cheek to kiss you, the kiss was full of passion and his tongue graced your bottom lip to ask for permission. Instantly your mouth fell open to let him in. Your tongues danced over dominance, the kiss as hot as fire.

You had to pull back for air, breathing heavily you looked into his blue eyes with a big smile. Bucky rested his forehead on yours and closed his eyes like you before he pushed you inside your flat.

“I don't know what kind of wine you’re meant to have with takeout, so I got both,” he said as you both came to a stop. A hearty laugh escaped your lips at his words, “no worries, my love,” you assured him and led him to the table.

The mob boss had a spark in his eyes as he saw how beautifully you decorated the table, “look what my pretty girl did! This looks amazing, dragul meu.” his Romanian tongue had butterflies dancing in your belly.

Bucky wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close to kiss the crown of your head.

“Takeout is still not here…wanna dance?” you asked with a little smirk and raised eyebrows. The brunette immediately took your right hand and spun you around, “with pleasure,” he whispered against the shell of your ear as he had you flush against his chest.

He spun you back around and the music switched to ‘Perfect’ from Ed Sheeran.

His hands rested on your waist as your hands closed around his neck. Your head laid on his shoulder, trying to be as close to him as possible.

Swaying around your living room, the room was full of love. You enjoyed this moment, it should never end because this is right where you wanted to be forever. This man, he was the one you wanted to be with forever without exception.

You lifted your head and opened your eyes to see he was already looking at you with those dreamy blue eyes. The smile never left your lips, he looked perfect.

Bucky couldn’t take his eyes off you, he wondered how he deserved a woman like you. A woman who was okay with what he was doing, a woman who appreciated him, a woman who wasn’t with him for his money and a woman who accepted him with his scars.

A soft warm hand laid against his cheeks and you looked at him with this gaze, he didn’t want that to change, ever.

You were the woman he would marry, have children with, grow old with and would spend forever with. “And now I know I have met an angel in person,” Bucky began singing along quietly, his voice angelic.

“And she looks perfect,” his eyes never left yours as you tried hard not to tear up, “I don’t deserve this,” Bucky pulled you closer.

“You look perfect tonight,” he whispered the last words before he closed his lips on yours.

[captain-mj]

Listen, just about every other month I find and reread your pricegraves fic where after graves betrayal he would do anything for price to forgive him, leading to some toe curling edging and overstimulation.

If you had it in you, another fic with other characters or pricegraves again, featuring edging and overstimulation would be lovely. Love your writing and that one is definitely one of my favorites. So funny with ghosts being the wingman. If not, Merry Christmas, happy holidays and I still can't wait to see what you got coming next.

All my favorite things! Also you're getting PriceGraves <3 If you guys want this in more ships, ask and I got you guys

Link if anyone doesn't know what they're talking about

This is basically post MW3 with my updated characterizations of the characters

Graves smirked at Price. "I threw Shepherd under the bus and you're mad at me? I'm the reason you could kill the guy."

Price hated that Graves was right but what he hated more was that Graves was saying all of this with his suit half undone. "How did you know I killed him? I did just a few hours ago."

"Heard he died. You're here. I'm no fool, Price." Graves drank from the shot glass he had. "Come to kill me too?"

"Considering it."

"Don't blame you. I'd kill you if I had the chance."

Price tapped his fingers on the table, looking him over. He was attractive. Especially like this. His hand was on his inner thigh, almost... posing.

Graves was posing.

Price started to notice the little details. His hair was the hot bed head messy, his shirt had been opened to expose his chest and the fucking whiskey glass.

Graves looked at him through soft lashes. "John. Are you going to kill me or keep staring?"

Price hadn't told anyone he'd be there. He doubted any of them would care if he added Phillip Graves to the list, but still. None of them expected it. Nor would they know that he even went there.

"Keep staring."

Graves sighed. "You come here. Dressed like that. Stupid fucking beanie." He drank the rest of his glass and set it down. "And all you're going to do is stare?"

Price swallowed and crossed the room, putting the gun to Graves's temple. Graves just smiled at him.

"I'm not drunk, don't worry. Just got a taste." He licked his lips and Price almost growled as he kissed him. His tongue darts out to taste the whiskey.

It's his favorite.

Price groaned and kept licking at him, trying to devour him. Graves stayed lax for now and let Price grab him and move between his legs. "Oh Captain, my Captain." He teased when Price went for his throat, nipping and biting.

Price hated how put together he acted. Just once, he wanted to Graves to act as deranged and feral as Price felt. He pulled at his clothing but didn't undress him yet.

"You can, John. Won't tell you no."

Price only finished unbuttoning Graves's shirt and pants, leaving everything still on. He knelt down and felt Graves's hand fall on his shoulders. "Not going to knock the beanie off?"

"I love your hair but you look... really good like that." There was a hint of breathlessness in his voice that had Price realizing he made the right choice. He looked up at him and Graves blushed a little before Price started to kiss down his stomach.

Graves tightened his grip on the arms of the chair and he looked up at the ceiling as Price gently and carefully used his tongue and teeth to pull his underwear down. He started to mouth at his cock, pleasantly surprised to find that Graves was rather sensitive. He jerked up and groaned at the feeling of Price's beard rubbing against him.

"Fuck." Graves groaned. "Come on. Do it properly."

Price had half a mind to leave him hard and aching for the comment but instead, he kissed the tip and slowly slid down.

Graves tilted his head back. "You feel so good. It's been a while."

Price hummed and slowly worked him over, feeling him tense and start to pant softly. Right when he was sure he was at the edge, he pulled off. A string of saliva connected them before snapping as he swallowed. He stared at him and Graves gripped the arm until his knuckles went white. Something close to malice in his eyes.

Price got up and grabbed the lube from the nightstand. He ripped the container open with his teeth and knelt back down. Graves kicked his pants off and spread his legs as Price started right back up at licking over his cock. Now he included his fingers, working him open.

Price kissed his inner thigh before biting into the flesh and making Graves keen. His cock twitched violently as Price worked him open, ignoring the way Graves moved and thrashed. He panted softly as Price threatened to make him come with his fingers but Price stopped right as he almost got there.

Graves groaned. "Are you going to tease me all night?"

"Considering it." Price threatened.

Graves went to protest but Price already saw how turned on the idea made him so he bit his tongue instead.

Price gave him nothing until he had came all the way back down, heavy breathing and flustered. "John..."

Price crooked his fingers and Graves almost screamed. He could see him biting his lip as his eyes rolled back. Precum leaked out of his cock.

Price smirked as he continued his tirade. Graves was perfect. So much skin was unmarred. Perfect for sinking his teeth in to. Not to mention the sounds. The soft keens and almost violent moans that came out of him. His eyes welled up with tears as Price brought him right to the edge again.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Graves whined as Price pulled away, leaving him chasing the pleasure. "So good, so good. Come on, fuck me, John. You want to."

Price did. But he couldn't make this easy. "You lied on the stand. You hurt people."

"i protected my own. Surely you can understand that more than anyone." Graves's back arched as Price curled his fingers and pressed. He groaned and tensed around him, eyes rolling back.

Price slowly pulled out of him, watching how Graves swallowed and his head fell back. He yanked him closer to the edge and forced his legs wider open. Graves's hands fell to his side, having to hold himself up.

"Fucking hell." Price cursed when he slid into him. HIs eyes rolled back at the feeling. Graves's hands grabbed his sides and his ankles went over his shoulders. He shoved into him hard, loving the blissed out expression it got from Graves. He put his hands over Graves's head and thrust into him hard.

"Jesus Christ, John. You're so big." Graves looked wrecked, teeth still digging into his lip. "I can finish now right?"

Price put his hand around his throat and fucked him nice and slow. He'd slow down to a crawl when ever Graves started to get close. Teasing him,, letting him get close, so close to the line. He balanced him there, watching him grit his teeth.

"Ask nicely."

"Fuck you."

Price stopped to let Graves come crashing down, hips furiously working to get them moving again. "Wait, no. John, come on."

"Ask nicely."

Graves glared at him for a minute but his trembling legs gave him away. "Fine. Please?"

"Please...?"

"Please Captain."

Price tightened his grip and slammed into him over and over again. He pressed into the hollow of Graves's throat, feeling him tense before coming hard between them. After all the teasing, he was so sensitive. Price pinned him down and kept going, enjoying himself. He took all the pleasure he wanted as Graves tried to catch his breath.

"You're going to let come too, aren't you commander?"

Graves panted softly as he stared up at him, already getting hard again. "Fuck you." He moaned and his eyes slipped close when Price jerked his hips.

Graves turned his head to the side and tried to pull his wrists free from Price, but he refused to let up. The pleasure was overwhelming, but Graves didn't say a word, just took it like a good boy. It took a bit, but Price managed to get a few tears out of him.

When he was about to finish Price grabbed his chin and forced him to look up at him. He took in those pretty blue eyes as he came, watching the soft blush across Graves's face as he realized why he just grabbed him. The eye contact burned but Price didn't plan on pulling out yet.

Graves tried to look away but Price wouldn't let him. They sat there for a moment before Price's fingers trailed down to Graves's hard cock.

"No need, Captain. Really." Graves answered gruffly before Price started to stroke him. He whimpered as he kept going.

"Got one more in you, don't ya, love?"

Graves groaned but let him keep going, not really having a choice. When he tried to move his hands, Price caught his wrists and continued pinning him. It was too much too soon but Graves still felt himself slowly winding back up.

He came with a sharp sob that filled him with more shame than what he just did. Or more, allowed Price to do to him.

It hit him hard and his legs shook pathetically around Price who simply pulled out, watching the way Graves couldn't help but try to keep the connection between them. Tears were still streaming down his face but he quickly wiped them away.

"Good job, Captain. I assume I'm off the hook?"

"For now. Might show back up."

"If you don't bring a gun, I might let you fully undress me next time." Graves grinned at he fixed his pants.

Price thought he was a little too coherent but he'd correct that next time he showed up.

[anonymityisfunwriter]

The Twin Flame - Invisible String (CATWS Version)

"Time, curious time, gave me no compasses, gave me no signs, were there clues I didn't see?"

a.n. Okay, so I feel like this needs a little bit of a preface. So, when I was writing The Twin Flame, there I found I ended up writing a lot of flashback scenes. And while there's a good bit that made it into the story, there was also a lot that didn't and that was for a lot of reasons, length of chapter, relevance, ect., but I do think it adds a lot to the story and I would love to share that with you guys. So instead of the outtakes that I did at the end of TSOTSC, I wanted to compile the copious amounts of flashbacks, both included and not, into one long (chronological) timeline. For clarity's sake, I did divide them up into their respective movie, I hope you guys enjoy!

Pairing: Sunshine!Reader x Grumpy!Bucky Barnes The Twin Flame Chapter List | The Grumpy x Sunshine Universe

"Sam, I'm home!" you bellow. There is no call back. There's no sound at all. He knows you hate the quiet. It reminds you of before. Sam makes it a point to fill the house with noise in any way he can for that simple reason. The silence radiates through your bones, chilling you to the core. "Sam? You here?"

You walk through the house, hands crumpled into half hearted fists, ready to fight, ready for whatever lurks around the corner.

It isn't until you make it to the kitchen that you see Sam sitting at the table. His jaw tight, his hands folded together, propping his head up.

"Sam?"

His eyes flash over to you, sitting up straight in his chair. He clears his throat, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. "Sorry - I - I -"

"What's wrong?" You step towards him, reaching for his arm and giving it a tight squeeze. He rests his hand on top of yours, laying it heavy on you. Almost like it's you he's trying to comfort and not the other way around. "Sam?"

More silence fills the room.

"Sam? Is everything okay? You're kinda scaring me."

He opens his mouth. His lips gape open for a long moment before he can form the words. "Nick Fury is dead."

You suddenly realize why his hand is so heavy on yours. It's the only thing keeping you from reeling back onto the ground. The words hit you like a truck.

"What?" you squeak.

He stands up, reaching out to steady you. As he guides you into a chair, "I just got the call."

"How did it happen?" you rasp out. 

"He was killed."

An unfamiliar feeling swells in your chest. You were too new to this world to know this feeling. To have felt the rage burning in your ribcage. To know what the anger roiling in your veins felt like. To know how to fend it off.

He's dead.

Your protector. Your savior. The closest thing you had to a father.

He's gone.

You barely manage to ground out, "Who?"

Sam's eyes snap over to you. He's never heard that tone, that darkness seep into your words. "Listen, I know -"

You cut off Sam's attempt at talking you down. "Who killed him?"

"They think it was someone called The Winter Soldier, but they don't even know -"

Your chest heaves in anger, anger at the person who took away one of the most important people in your life. "Did they catch him? The Winter Solider?"

"No, not yet, but -"

"Then I'll find him myself."

-

It was already 2 in the morning. Missions were becoming more frequent, more grueling, and it was starting to weigh on you. Your legs felt like they were made of lead as you stumbled into your room to get some sleep before your next assignment first thing in the morning. 

'Tough mission?" a familiar voice asks. 

The lights flicker on to reveal Nick Fury standing in the corner of your room. Until this very moment, you believed him to be dead. In shock, your bag slips from your grip, hitting the floor with a muted thud. 

"You're alive," you gasp, abruptly throwing your arms around him in a tight embrace. "I thought you were dead. They said you died, Sam said-"

"It's going to take a hell of a lot more than a Winter Soldier to kill me," he chuckles, returning the embrace for the shortest of movements. 

You pull away from him, looking at him as he stands in the corner of your room in the dead of night. "I'm just so glad you're alive, Nick."

"It's not that simple," he corrects. "And that's why I need you to be careful."

Your sigh of relief catches in your throat. "What?"

"Nick Fury is dead," he ominously states. There's no remorse in his voice until he speaks his next sentence, "And that means I can't protect you anymore."

"From who?"

"From SHIELD."

"SHIELD? SHIELD saved me. You saved me, why do I need to be protected from them?"

"I know you've noticed that things are different, strange. Now that I'm gone, the vultures are going to circle. People are going to try to get close, try to win your trust. Go with your gut, it's never wrong."

"What are you talking about? I'm literally wrong all the time!"

"Not about this. Have some faith in yourself, I know I do."

-

"Everyone we know is trying to kill us."

Sam freezes, completely startled by the appearance of Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff from his backyard. He recovers a split second later, opening the door to allow them inside. "Uh, come on in."

"Thank you."

He points to the bedroom off to the side. "You guys can get cleaned up in here."

"Thank you," Steve repeats. 

Sam nods, giving the two of them a minute to regroup themselves. He walks to the kitchen, checking the front door to make sure you haven't come back yet. He takes a deep breath, wondering how exactly he's going to tell you that Captain America and Black Widow are currently seeking refuge in your shared home. 

Only about an hour later, you walk into the house, heading straight for the kitchen to find yourself something to eat after a grueling mission. You walk into the kitchen, picking up an apple from the fruit basket on the counter. You're bogged down by exhaustion, almost completely oblivious to the two unfamiliar people seated in your kitchen. 

"Hey," you nod at the unfamiliar man seated at the kitchen table. You keep walking when only a few seconds your mind processes that there are two unfamiliar people sitting in your kitchen. Your eyes widen, taking a few steps back into the kitchen. "Um?"

Steve stands up off of his seat. You can tell his guard flies back up just from the demanding look on his face, "Who are you?"

"Who am I? Who are you?" you repeat.

"I asked you first."

"Well," you start, fumbling for an adequate rebuttal. "I've - I've got a frying pan. And I'm not afraid to use it!" But the frying pan isn't what stops Steve in his tracks, it's the fact that the frying pan just whipped across the kitchen right into your hand. "What the-"

"Sam!" you call. "Code - ugh, why don't we have a code for these things!?"

"You know Sam?"

"Yeah, you weirdo!" you incredulously shout. "I live here!"

"You live here?" Steve dumbly repeats. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Sam interjects, walking into the kitchen with wide eyes. "I guess now might be the time to tell you I don't live alone."

"Clearly," Steve lilts. "I'm sorry, who are you again?"

"Oh, right. This is Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff, they needed a place to lay low for a while," Sam introduces, gesturing to each person respectively. Then Sam turns to the two of them, introducing you by your first name, "And this is what I meant when I told you that I'm sort of SHIELD adjacent."

"They're not spies?" you ask Sam.

"They're not spies," he affirms. "Now, can you please put the frying pan down?"

"Right," you meekly chuckle, putting the pan back on the counter. 

"I'm confused," Steve states, his brows furrowed at you. "What does that mean? SHIELD adjacent? You work for SHIELD?"

"Not voluntarily," you chuckle. "But sure, let's go with that."

"Well, if you work for SHIELD, why have I never seen you before?"

"Because Nick Fury did a damn good job," Natasha responds, an impressed smirk growing on her face. "I was beginning to think you weren't real."

"You know about me?"

"I know enough. Enough to know why Nick Fury wanted to keep you hidden."

"You knew Nick Fury?" Steve silently nods, giving you a moment before you continue speaking, "Nick Fury rescued me. It's why I'm a SHIELD asset."

"Agent," Steve corrects. 

You quietly chuckle, "Asset. Not agent. I don't work for them, they own me. Sam's my handler."

"They own you?"

"But enough about me," you excitedly redirect. "Steve Rogers? Why do I know that name?"

-

You needed to buy them more time. You needed to do that for them. Sam begged you, pleaded with you. With Fury's warning and Steve and Natasha's appearance in your house, it was too dangerous. They could very well be onto you two. 

"I have to go," you announce to Sam, picking your repacked duffle bag up off the ground. 

"There's no way you're going!" Sam vehemently refutes. "First, you just got back, you're exhausted and you're not thinking straight. Second, we're sort of harboring fugitives in our house. It's a recipe for disaster."

"They'll know something's up if I don't go," you remind Sam.

"Tell them you're exhausted. You haven't even been back a whole day and they can't just send you on another assignment, it's too dangerous."

"You and I both know they can do whatever they want to me."

"You can't go. It could be dangerous. We don't know what they know," Sam desperately insists. 

"They don't know that we know about them either," you counter. "I promise I'll be careful. The longer Pierce thinks we're still with him, the more time you guys have to take them down."

Sam shuts his eyes, shaking his head, "I really hate that that makes sense."

"I'll be okay," you promise. "I'll see you in a bit, okay?"

"Okay."

With that, you take off, leaving Sam, Steve, and Natasha to make their plans.

You don't even remember making your way to SHIELD headquarters, all you knew is that you'd never felt dread quite like the one pooling in the pit of your stomach as the building looms over you.

You stare up at the building, steeling your resolve. You had to do this for them.

With a shaky inhale, you walk into a building that you knew so well. 

On this day, it feels like you've never been here before. There's no sense of familiarity. There's no ease in any of your actions. 

Before you can make your way to your locker or to get your mission brief, you see Rumlow expectantly standing at the lobby. His arms crossed over his chest and a cold expression, he scans the lobby, clearly waiting for someone.

The moment you step out of the revolving door, you know he's not just waiting for someone, he's waiting for you. 

His eyes snap over in your direction, he strides over, "Pierce wants to see you."

"Oh..." you manage to choke out, shocked by the abruptness of the order. 

"Problem?" he challenges.

"No, no," you quickly assure Rumlow. "Just had something - no, no problem."

"Good. He's waiting."

You weakly smile up at him, "Great."

You try to appear unaffected by Rumlow's suffocating presence. You try to make small talk, offer a kind smile that you know doesn't look even remotely genuine.

You can feel a sense of impending down creep up your spine. There was nothing normal about this.

Pierce liked to maintain a facade of warmth with you, he never summoned you. He'd invite you to the conference room, meet you in the briefing room. Never this.

By the time you're shoved into Pierce's office, the one formerly belonging to Nick Fury, your hands have gone cold with dread.

"What do you know about Captain Steve Rogers?" Pierce questions the moment you stand before his desk, wasting no time with fake niceties.

"Captain Rogers?" you repeat, pulling your lips in as you shake your head. As Pierce stares you down, it feels like he can hear every single one of your racing thought. You try not to think about the fact that Steve is currently sitting in your kitchen plotting HYDRA's demise. "Only by name."

Pierce purses his lips, scanning your face for the lie you're so desperately concealing, "That's good to know."

"Okay," you awkwardly lilt, clapping your hands in front of you. "Well, I think it's time for me to go. I wouldn't want to waste your time and I have a logistics meeting."

"Speaking of logistics," Pierce interjects. "I think it's time we reconsider a few of your own logistics. Your living arrangements in particular."

"What?" you humorlessly chuckle. You look over you shoulder to see Brock Rumlow still standing in front of the door with his arms crossed over his chest. "What are you talking about?"

"We didn't want to frighten you, but we believe there's been a breach of security within the organization. We think it best that you stay here."

"But Nick said-"

"Nick isn't here anymore," Pierce bitterly reminds you. "Steve Rogers made sure of that."

You bite back your defense of Steve. Your mind races, millions of pieces coming together to form a bone-chilling conclusion.

First, Nick Fury's last words to you. Stick to your gut, put your faith in the people you knew that you could trust without a shadow of a doubt.

Second, you knew you could trust Sam and Steve with your life.

Third, Pierce was the one keeping your schedule so jam-packed you could barely sleep let alone try to talk to Sam. He was the one driving the wedge between the person you trusted most. You knew you couldn't trust him.

What was so bone chilling was the look on everyone's face in the room. just about a dozen men, watching you, all armed and poised to attack. There were probably more outside.

You can't help but wonder how deep this whole thing ran. How many of your friends and colleagues would take you down if you stepped a toe out of line.

You were in the lion's den.

And you had two choices: fight or play along.

You lift your head to look at Pierce with a concerned, fear-filled look. "You're right. I don't know - I guess I never noticed."

"And how could you? It's our job to protect our Assets. We'll make sure you're safe."

"Thank you," you slowly exhale, lowering your head in submission at Pierce.

"I'm sorry to have to ask this of you right now, but it's imperative that we sort out everyone's allegiance, including Sam Wilson. It pains me to say this, but we believe, knowingly or unknowingly, he's leaked top-secret state secrets. He's told people about you, and that puts you in danger."

It's not much of a performance to put on a horrified look on your face. You were horrified, just not at Sam, "Oh my God."

"It's alright," Pierce assures you. "We just ask that you continue on, as normally as possible."

"But you just said-"

"We'll take precautions for your own safety, but you're our best hope of maintaining connections with Sam Wilson."

"You want me to spy on Sam?" you repeat, trying to suppress the look of repulsion that involuntarily forms on your face.

"I hate to impose such a heavy task on someone such as yourself, but it's imperative. Nick Fury believed in you, as do I."

You nod once. "I understand."

You'd never considered yourself that good of a liar. But you almost sighed a breath of relief as Pierce bought innocent, doe-eyed lie that spilled out of your mouth.

Thoughts kept racing in your mind. You focused on what you'd do the second you left this room. There was a side exit just down the corridor from your room. You could leave, hide. Warn Sam, warn Steve and you'd run. As fast as you can. As far as you can. 

"Rumlow will escort you back to your room," Pierce directs. Your blood runs cold when your escape plans are torn to shreds. Rumlow suddenly grips your bicep, prepared to drag you to your new room. "Can never be too careful."

"I - I appreciate it."

"But one more thing?" Pierce asks before Rumlow escorts you out. You turn back to him with a tight smile. He turns his head to one side with a smirk that can only be called sinister. "You're a terrible liar."

Your heart drops into the pit of your stomach. "Excuse me?"

"I'm going to give you one last chance to tell me everything you know," Pierce plainly offers, leaning over his desk to glare at you.

You look around the room once more. Now, the guns aren't slung low on the waists of Pierce's henchmen, but aimed directly at you. You grit your teeth and curl your hands into fists, "It's like you said, I don't know anything."

"Wrong answer," Pierce spits. His gaze shifts to Rumlow, whose guiding hand has turned into a death grip on your upper arm, as he barks an order, "Get what you can out of her...Then wipe her."

-

"Rumlow's headed for the Council," Maria Hill shouts into her comms device. "41st floor, Sam."

"I'm on it," Sam grunts, sprinting up the staircase of SHIELD headquarters. He flies through the doorway, throwing a fist right into Brock Rumlow's jaw without a second thought. "Where is she?" 

Sam goes for another quick jab, only for it to be deflected. With a strong lunge that knocks Sam off his feet, Rumlow chuckles, "Doesn't matter anymore. You're too late."

"What did you do to her?" Sam seethes, his anger and worry only compounding with every single minute of radio silence since you'd walked into SHEILD headquarters and never walked out.

"She just wouldn't shut up," Rumlow taunts, rolling his eyes. "She told us that she'd never stop fighting us, that her friends were coming, something about justice, I wasn't really listening, she just wouldn't stop talking... so we threw her brain in the blender. She doesn't even know who you are anymore."

A pained gasp leaves Sam's mouth. It feels like his lungs were being squeezed of all oxygen, "You're lying."

"You never should've let her walk into that meeting with Pierce, she walked right into his trap, you know?"

"Shut the hell up," Sam bellows, tackling the man into the glass control panel behind him. He pins Rumlow, "Tell me where she is."

"I was there, you know?"

"Tell me where she is!" Sam demands. 

"HYDRA doesn't take prisoners, Wilson. We only accept order. And order only comes with pain." Rumlow slips out of Sam's grasp, landing several punches into Sam's sides. Rumlow menacingly snickers, wiping the blood pooling from the corner of his mouth as the two of them stand up. "You should feel so honored. She respected the hell out of you, swore up until the very end that you were coming for her."

"She got all weepy." Rumlow punctuates every antagonizing sentence with a sharp punch. "She screamed for you. Cried when we strapped her down. But you never came."

"I said shut the-" Sam starts, only stopping when he sees the large air carrier about to crash into the building.  

"Son of a bitch," Rumlow shouts as the rubble consumes him. 

"Please tell me you got that chopper in the air," Sam calls over the comms. 

"Sam, where are you?"

"41st floor! Northwest corner!"

"We're on it. Stay where you are."

"Not really an option," he shouts as the aircraft crashes into the building. He bolts to the very edge of the building, dodging debris as it all comes crashing down around him. "Any time would be good."

"You trust us?" Maria ominously replies. 

"Do I have any other choice?" Sam shouts as he leaps out of the broken window just in the nick of time. 

"And gotcha," you exclaim, gripping Sam's hand as he almost barrels out of the helicopter. You pull him back up as Nick levels the helicopter. "Hey, Sam!"

Sam wheezes as you haul him into the helicopter. "You know who I am?"

You chuckle, "It's only been like a day, Sam."

"They said - but they said," Sam sputters. 

"I dunno what they said, and I hate to be so negative, but I don't think they care that much about honesty, Sam." 

He throws his arms around you, relief overwhelming him. "You're okay."

"I'm not the one that just jumped out of a window," you tease, dusting broken shards of glass off of his shoulder. 

He whispers, holding you tightly in his embrace. "They said you forgot me."

"I could never forget you."

-

"You don't have to do this," Steve tells Sam. "I know with Nick and SHIELD gone things just got a lot more complicated."

"I know," Sam agrees. "When do we start?"

"What about you, Sunshine?" Steve asks, though he knows that you and Sam weren't really going to risk separating yourself any time soon. "I wouldn't blame you, if you wanted nothing to do with this. I know what Bucky did. And I know how much Nick meant to you. Even if he is alive, I know it changed everything."

His question catches you off guard. You can't remember the last time someone asked you what you wanted.

"I know how much Bucky means to you. And you mean a lot to me too, Steve." You exaggeratedly shrug. "Plus, it's not like I've got anything better to do. So let's go get your friend back."

Steve wraps an arm around you, giving you a light squeeze as he presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head, "Thank you, Sunshine."

You wrinkle your nose up at him, "But I still don't like that nickname."

He smiles down at you, "You mean a lot to me too."

The Twin Flame Chapter List The Grumpy x Sunshine Universe Bucky Barnes Masterlist

As always, let me know what you think! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛

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[cowboysandpilots]

Secrets of a 30-Year-Old Flyboy — ch. 2

Fake Roonix, Secret Hangster | Words: 895 | Warnings: Blood, medical stuff, sickness, miscommunications, and boys being stupid.

Hondo was waiting for Bradley when he landed, having been listening on the comms. He was halfway across the tarmac when he saw Bradley collapse. He hollered over his headset for medics to get out there immediately. Mav ordered the squadron back to base as Hondo informed them that something was wrong with Rooster. By the time they all landed and had climbed from their planes, the military EMS team had gotten Rooster on a stretcher and were headed for the base hospital. They’d left, telling Hondo they would be contacting Rooster’s emergency contact. All of this, Hondo told everyone as they gathered around him, worry evident. Jake hung back from everyone, staying quiet as he listened to what Hondo had to say. He was pale, and his hands trembled as he stared at the blood that was staining the ground near Bradley’s Hornet. He was finding it hard to breathe. Jake should’ve known something was wrong. He’d seen that Bradley didn’t look good when they got up this morning—hadn’t for a while now. This was his fault. He should’ve pushed, should’ve asked. As soon as Hondo was done talking, Mav was sprinting across the tarmac. He was pulling his phone out of his flight suit's inner pocket and fumbling to call Ice.

Ice, unbeknownst to everyone, was already on his way to the hospital since he had been listed as the man's emergency contact since his mom died at twelve. He's too focused on the road to reach for his phone, which was sliding around in the passenger seat.

"We have to go to the hospital," Phoenix said immediately. She didn't care if the rest of them came along; she was really just speaking for herself as Bradley's best friend. She wouldn't go back to work until she knew he was okay.

The rest of the squadron is quick to agree with Phoenix. Despite everything that Maverick had been yelling at them earlier that day, they were a team and moved as such to drop off their flight gear and head to the hospital. Everyone except Jake. He took a few shaky steps in the opposite direction until he was standing beside where Bradley had collapsed. He was shaking, and his breathing was coming out too quickly as he dropped to his knees. “My fault,” he gasped, fingers touching the still-wet tarmac. “I failed. Failed. Failed him.” Logically, it wasn't Jake's fault. Bradley was a grown-ass man, and he could call in sick if he weren't feeling well, but for the last ten years, since the academy, since they started their friends-with-benefits, specifically, their BDSM dynamic. As the dominant, it was Jake's job to take care of Bradley, to read his body language and take care of him even when he couldn't speak for himself. He always felt as if he failed when he couldn't do that.

It took Jake a long time to become aware enough to realize he was alone. Everyone else had left, and he needed answers. Thoughts of doom, that Bradley had bled out. Had died on the way to the hospital. Or was in surgery and was going to die on the table. He kept circling through his head as he pushed himself to his feet and stumbled his way to his truck.

Maverick scanned the waiting room with wild eyes as soon as he got to the hospital. He’d seen Iceman’s car in the parking lot. He felt like he could take at least a small breath when he saw the taller man and made his way straight to him. “Please tell me you are still his emergency contact,” he implored, reaching for Ice. Dimly, Maverick was aware that most of the rest of the squadron was filing into the waiting room not long after he got there.

Ice takes Maverick's hand with a nod. "How many times am I gonna have to answer the phone to 'you're listed as the emergency contact' for this kid?" It is meant to lighten the mood, but he only manages a slight chuckle, not even thinking that the rest of the squad is listening. It wasn't the first time, and as horrible as it was, Ice knew it wouldn't be the last.

Taking a deep breath, Maverick closes his eyes and clings hard to Ice’s hand. Probably too hard, but he’d worry about that later. “Enough that we will both have grey hair,” he groused before he looked up at him. “Did they tell you anything? Do they know what happened? Hondo said he threw up blood and collapsed.”

Jake stopped just barely inside the doors to the emergency room. His heart stopped at Iceman’s words, and he pressed his back against the wall. It was that or collapse. This had happened before. Something had happened before. Something that made Bradley need his emergency contact. Last time, Jake had made it in time. He kept repeating that to himself. He’d shot down that Su-57 before it killed Bradley. And in Afghanistan, he’d taken down an F-111 Aardvark that had a lock on Rooster. Pressing his hands flat against the wall, Jake swallowed thickly. Bradley was going to be okay. Jake saved him. Twice. A man that stubborn wasn't going to be taken out by a training exercise. He was going to be okay. Jake just had to keep repeating that.

——

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[starlitangels]

Talk Nerdy

Listen, Erik said Link would be Vincent's main in Smash Bros because Vincent has a fondness for the character and fell in love with Breath of the Wild like the rest of us did. That is enough for me to decide Vincent is at least kinda a Legend of Zelda fan. And as a Zelda fan, this was just an excuse to be a Big Nerd. 1.2k words

—

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! I just need one more hit..." Vincent muttered under his breath. So focused on his game that he didn't realize I was standing in the archway behind him. He didn't hear me, smell me, see me—nothing. I smiled and watched Colgera fly around the screen while Link and Tulin furiously flew around in the swirling wind.

Biting my lip, I crept out of the archway and behind the couch. Vincent swore as he took a shot with his bow and it shattered. I smirked, leaned down until I was right behind his ear, and raised a hand.

I dropped it onto his shoulder. "Whatcha doin'?" I asked loudly.

Vincent swore and nearly threw his controller into the TV. Instead managing to only arc it over the coffee table. "Lovely!" he exclaimed. "Don't do that to me!" In a blur of movement, he had his controller back and the game paused. He spun to look at me. "What was that for?"

I laughed. "I'm sorry," I said around my laughter. "I couldn't help it. You were so focused you didn't—you didn't even notice I was right there. I had to see how close I could get!"

He sighed, giving me an affectionate—but exasperated—shake of his head with a little grin. "You're a menace," he said.

I shrugged. "Just for you, and just when we're alone. Because you love me."

"I do. I do love you." I leaned across the back of the couch and met his lips in a kiss. He reached and grabbed at my hips, hauling me over the back of the sofa while I shrieked as I flopped down onto the cushions. He cackled. "There we go. We're even now. And you get to sit with me and watch me play."

"Fine with me."

He kissed the top of my head and unpaused the game. Quickly equipping a new bow to try and shoot Colgera again.

"Rare for a Zelda boss' weak spot to not be their eye," I joked.

"Mmhmm," Vincent agreed, barely paying me any heed.

We sat in relative silence, broken only by Tulin's encouragement and the boss music and various sound effects like the cyclones and Vincent's controller clacking, for a few minutes.

"You're running out of cold resistance," I said.

He cursed under his breath and paused, searching his menus for another dish of food for cold resistance.

"Didn't you get a portable pot in one of the Zonai capsules?"

"They don't work in boss fights," he replied. Right as he found another meal he'd made to fight the cold and had Link eat it. He unpaused and went right back to it.

"Damn, this track slaps," I said quietly.

"It really does. I barely noticed it my first time playing through this game since I was so focused on the fight. Now, every time I restart, I always fight Colgera first. It's the best boss fight."

I smiled. "How many times have you played through Tears of the Kingdom in the last six months?"

Vincent shrugged. "Like five or six. But I don't search for all the Koroks every time. Just as many as I need to get all the spaces in my inventory. I still haven't found all of them on my main Switch profile's save. They added more. It was already a pain in the ass finding nine-hundred in Breath of the Wild. Now there's a thousand. They managed to shove a hundred more into almost the exact same map."

I smiled. "These are your favorite Zelda games, aren't they?"

He didn't even break his concentration from the boss fight. "Maybe. Wind Waker, Twilight Princess, and Ocarina of Time are pretty high on the list too." He moved around with his motion controls to aim his bow. "Twilight Princess is high on that list," he added. "I'd only been turned for six years when it came out and I was in the perfect moody, dark headspace to vibe hard with the game's aesthetic. Maybe the nostalgia helps keep it that high on my favorites. It's also just a good game to boot. And, if I may say, the most iconic appearance for Princess Zelda. She was barely in the game and yet when I hear the name 'Princess Zelda', I always think of her Twilight Princess look before even her Breath of the Wild one."

I smiled. Mmm... talk nerdy to me, you lovable dork, I thought fondly. "I never finished the Forest Temple in that game. Much to my best friend's chagrin. Twilight Princess was their favorite Zelda game while we were growing up."

Vincent shot me a quick look. "We'll fix that. I'll break out the Wii or the Wii-U and we'll get you through it."

"If we ever have time," I muttered sarcastically.

"Fair point. We'll find time. The fact that we don't really need to sleep as much has helped me get through this game multiple times."

I snickered and continued watching him.

The Rito Village/Dragon Roost Island theme hit and washed over our living room in a wave of nostalgia. Vincent sighed in rapture at it.

"This music is so good," I whispered.

"Uh-huh," he agreed. "Nintendo really went off with all the Tears of the Kingdom music. Remember that trailer's saxophone?"

"Mmhmm." I grinned. "Remember the first trailer to feature Ganondorf's voice and the entire internet blew up like 'Matthew Mercer'?"

Vincent started laughing. "That was hilarious. So many memes."

"Yeah. It was great." I gasped. "You're on your last shot, Vin!"

"I know. I'm so close."

"You know, if you did this with a Multi-Shot bow, you could do this a lot faster."

"Yeah, yeah. But I like doing this fight first. It's a challenge." He let go of the button on his controller. Link loosed the arrow.

It arced toward Colgera. Vincent and I both held our breath.

It struck, breaking the final bit of cracked ice.

"Yes!" Vincent cheered, pumping his fist into the air. I whooped and let him give me a kiss.

"Good job, lover boy," I said.

"Thanks, lovely." He gave me a soft look. "I forgive you for scaring me to death."

I burst out laughing. "Thanks. And you're welcome."

He kissed my hairline. "Were you wanting a turn on the Switch or were you just coming in to watch me play?"

"I was actually coming in to ask if you wanted a hot cocoa or something but I saw an opportunity that I couldn't pass up."

"Menace," he accused affectionately.

"Playboy," I retorted. He grinned.

"I would actually love a hot chocolate though," he added in a cheeky little whisper, curling his shoulders up and smiling like a mischievous kid.

I smiled. "I'll get some made for us. You're cute." Kissing his curly, glossy blue-black hair, I got up from the sofa and went toward the kitchen while the cutscene kept playing on the TV.

—

Tag list: @pinksparkl @zozo-01 @thegoldenlittlerose

[wheels-of-despair]

Worth It | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

{<-Previous} [All I Want Is You] {Next->}

Summary: Planning a wedding with two overbearing mothers. What could possibly go wrong? Words: 2k

"Paris is clearly the superior choice!"

"Everyone honeymoons in Paris! They should take a steamer down The Nile!"

"They'll be robbed blind by river pirates!"

"River pirates?" she scoffs.

"French cuisine is unmatched!"

"There are more important things in life than being a glutton!"

After a several days of tense telephone calls and snippy messages sent through their children, the meeting of the mothers had finally commenced. They'd spent the entire morning fighting about the wedding venue, the guest list, the color scheme, the flowers, the food, the ceremony, and now, the honeymoon destination. For such a joyous occasion, there sure was a lot of hostility.

Ralph hadn't said a word in nearly an hour. It was a feminine affair, he understood, so his opinions weren't wanted. He wished they'd listen to his fiancée, though. You'd been silent nearly as long as he had. You sat next to each other, on a flowery white loveseat in your parents' house, the calm amid the chaos. Your mothers shouted at each other from opposite sides of the coffee table that was littered with fabric samples and travel brochures. The wedding planner had also given up, making herself appear busy with her notebook.

Ralph felt a nudge to his knee. He looks down and follows the trail to the hips, waist, bust, and finally the face of his fiancée, looking just as uninterested as he is. With a slight tilt of your head toward the door, he's suddenly more alert than he's been since his last attempt to speak. He'd given up after that, and become lost in his own head. He looked at the bickering women once more, and gave you a slight nod.

You don't even have to sneak out. You just get up and go. They old broads are so busy screaming at each other, they don't even notice their children making a hasty retreat. Ralph holds the door for you, and you silently swish past and wait for him to close it, the voices of your mothers suddenly muffled.

"Why did no one tell me that planning a wedding was so much fun?" you deadpanned.

Ralph barely has time to worry that you're having second thoughts before you circle your arms around his middle and rest your head on his shoulder. You wouldn't have done that if you were going to call it off. Right? His arms wrap around and pull you closer, and you hold him tighter. Right.

"Let's go for a walk," he suggests. You nod into his shoulder with a sigh of either exhaustion or relief. Perhaps both? You part, grab your coats, and seconds later, you're out the door and in the sunshine. You walk silently for a few minutes, hand in hand, soon realizing that you've both been drawn to the park. You look at up at him as you cross through the entrance and give him a smile that makes his heart melt. This is more like it.

You stroll slowly toward your secret spot, soaking up the sunshine and enjoying the heavenly sounds of chirping birds and trees rustling in the breeze. Neither of you speaks a word until you're on your favorite bench, not another human - or a bossy mother - in sight.

"Think they've realized we're gone yet?"

Ralph chuckles. "Probably not."

You smile at him, but it slowly fades. He reaches for your hand. "What is it, love?"

"It's just… not how I thought it would be."

"How d'you mean?"

"I didn't realize our wedding would have so little to do with us," you say gloomily. "Did you have any idea it would be like this?"

"Sort of," Ralph admits. "It's like planning parties with Victoria. In the end, I don't really get a say. I'm used to it."

Ralph frowns. How many fabulous ideas of his had Victoria shot down over the years? At some point, he'd stopped bothering. What was there to do about it? It was just the way things were.

"It shouldn't be like this," you rant. "This whole thing is making me want to pull my hair out and go jump in the river. I hate that I feel this way. It's supposed to be a happy occasion. The best day of our lives, even." You heave a sigh. "I love you. But I hate this. I'm sorry." You put your head in your hands.

"Do you want to call it off?" Ralph asks softly.

Your head shoots up. "Of course not! I want to call our mothers off!" You reach for his hand. "Ralph, you're the only thing keeping me sane right now. Please don't think I'm complaining about you. You're perfect. I'd endure anything if it meant I got to be with you."

"You shouldn't have to endure your own wedding." Ralph had been growing increasingly frustrated with the whole situation as well, but hearing his bride-to-be talk of ripping her hair out and jumping in the river was the final straw. "What kind of wedding do you want?"

"Does it matter?" you ask cynically.

"Yes," Ralph says. "It's all that matters."

You look thoughtful for a moment, and then ask, "What kind of wedding do YOU want, Ralph?"

"I want whatever y--"

"No. If you were completely in charge, if you had total control over our wedding and everything that came with it, what would it be like?"

Ralph furrows his brow. Total control? What was that?

"I… I don't know?"

"Ralph, you proposed to three women before me, and you had no ideas about the kind of wedding you wanted?" you ask with a teasing twinkle in your eye.

Ralph feels a shock ripple through his body. He did. Ralph had once dreamed of a magnificent brass band, white lace, gold trim, the finest crystal, multiple champagne fountains, ice swans, a horse-drawn carriage ride, a luxurious cruise, a long honeymoon abroad, and oodles of pictures to bring home and proudly display to guests for generations to come.

But suddenly, that didn't feel quite right.

Ralph didn't care about any of that anymore.

"It doesn't matter," he says, surprising both of you.

"It doesn't matter?"

"As long it means you're mine forever, the rest doesn't matter."

Your eyes fill with tears. Before his panic can set in and force him into a long, stutter-filled explanation, and perhaps some groveling, you've launched yourself at him and buried your face in his neck.

"I'm already yours forever," you whisper, your breath on his neck making his bones feel like jelly. He's grateful to be sitting, because he's not sure if you could hold him if he collapsed in your arms.

After clinging to each other for a moment, you pull back and wipe your tears, smudging your makeup in a way that Ralph finds endearing.

"Ralph, I was only going along with all this because I thought it's what you wanted. I don't want 500 guests or a twelve-tiered cake or a month-long cruise to some far-off place where I won't understand anyone. All I want is you."

He tries to wipe your smudge away, but only makes it worse. With a smile, he leans in. You meet in the middle for a kiss that puts you both in a better mood.

"Do you think they'd kill us if we got married tonight, just the two of us?" Ralph asks.

"Yes, but if the papers are already filed, they might have to bury us together." You both giggled.

"We could elope," he suggests. You sigh, looking as if you're seriously considering it.

"My cousin Christine eloped about..." you chew your lip thoughtfully, "five years ago, I think?"

"And?" Ralph prods.

"And most of my family still refers to her husband as That Boy She Ran Off With. They've been married for five years. They have two children. At this point, I'm genuinely not sure if they're still calling him that out of spite, or because they're too embarrassed to admit they never learned his name."

"So that's a no on eloping, I suppose," Ralph jokes.

"What about doing the standard ceremony in the registry office?" you suggest. "Make an appointment, get the papers signed, rub their noses in it, then disappear for a month while they cool off."

"They'd probably plan a formal ceremony while we were gone and force us through it when we return, and all our efforts to thwart them would be for naught."

"What are we going to do, Ralph? This is our wedding. We only get one. And they're trying their hardest to ruin it for us." Ralph isn't sure whether you're closer to crying or screaming, but he'd do anything to prevent either.

"What if we plan it ourselves?"

"Like present them with a list of demands?" you half-joke.

Ralph reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small notepad and half a pencil. You raise an eyebrow. "Sometimes I think of things I want to tell you when you're not with me," he shrugs. It's true. Thoughts hit him at the most random of times. "Look," he says, flipping through the pages. "no veal" "red carnation = deep love" "send mothers to Timbuktu"

"I quite like this one." You point at the last page, and you both laugh.

"Alright," he says, flipping to a clean page. "Let's plan our wedding."

Four hours later, you returned home with your list of demands. (It hadn't taken you that long to plan the details of your wedding, but you and Ralph had decided that you deserved to go out for a quiet lunch before returning to the chaos.)

You found your mothers right where you'd left them; minus the wedding planner, who had successfully escaped. Good for her. When they noticed you standing in the doorway, they stopped quarreling with each other and focused their rage on you.

"Where HAVE you been?"

"Do you not care about your own wedding?"

"Why is there dirt on you?!"

"If you're going to call it off, do it soon, so I never have to see this horrid woman again!"

"Weren't you two friends just a few years ago?" You asked with amusement they did not share.

"Ralph, darling, please tell this pig-headed wretch that you'd rather--"

"Enough!" Ralph shouts, startling all three of you. He pulls the pad from his pocket, flipping to the most recent pages and ripping them out. "This is what we've decided."

Ralph's mother steps forward to take the papers from him, then retreats back to yours so they can read them together. It doesn't take long for their objections to begin.

"THIS is your guest list?"

"You cannot be serious."

"That's not NEARLY enough."

"Absolutely unacceptable."

"That is not an appropriate flower for a wedding."

"Our children have lost their minds."

You and Ralph stand silently, watching them bond over how much they hated your wedding plans. It came with a strange sense of satisfaction. They really had been friends once, after all. (Until that sordid affair involving Mr. Penbury dying on top of his mistress, which rendered his wife a pariah among her former friends, and led to an obsession with "healing herself" at various "wellness centers" across the country.)

"This is the wedding we want," you begin,

"And if you won't support us, we can always elope," Ralph threatens. You squeeze his hand in support. You like him like this.

As one, your mothers purse their lips. Who would've thought, this is what it would take to unite them?

"Perhaps we can compromise."

"No," you and Ralph say together, then look at each other with a grin.

"How did we raise such stubborn children?"

"They're perfect for each other."

Yes, you are.

[fandomsaligninstories]

Year Two: Jade(d)

Chapter List WC: 1,571

From the moment she sat down, Violet had to listen to her friends ask questions and accuse Draco of things.

"Did he hurt you?" Cedric had asked, looking over her as if she'd been physically wounded.

"Did he threaten you?" Aimee had asked, concern evident in her tone and expression.

"Are you two a thing? Is that why you've been defending him?" Caroline accused, glaring at Violet.

"What has he offered you?" Hannah asked, her tone sharp.

"Stop!" Violet cried out, slamming her hand on the table. She turned to each of her friends as she replied, "No, he didn't hurt me. No, he didn't threaten me. No, we aren't a 'thing'. And what is that supposed to mean, offered me?"

"What's he offered you," Hannah repeated, "You know, to get you to be on his side?"

"Nothing!" Violet snapped, "I'm on his side because he's innocent, because he's actually quite a nice person when you get to know him."

The three other girls all started talking at once, and Violet couldn't stand it. She stood up, not even having eaten a bite, and glared at her friends.

"When you lot have decided to stop being a bunch of pricks to Draco and I, come find me. Until then, just leave me alone."

She stormed out of the hall, her chest heaving as she tried to calm herself down. She barely made it back to her dorm before she broke down in tears, all the anger and frustration rising again.

She didn't know how long she lay in bed, but after some time, she turned to someone knocking at the dorm door.

Violet couldn't bear to look at Aimee as she entered the room. She rolled over, burying her face in her pillow. A moment later the end of the bed dipped, and Aimee sighed.

"Violet, I'm sorry. We weren't trying to be rude-"

Violet huffed, "Caroline was."

"Okay, maybe she was…" Aimee allowed, "But the rest of us weren't. We're just worried. You barely talk to us anymore, and you're always so…"

Violet sat up slowly, pulling her knees to her chest as she looked at Aimee, "So what?"

"So focused on him. I don't think you realize it, but you're always staring at him, or looking for him, and it seems like you're spending time with him now?"

"We're just studying together," Violet argued, feeling defensive yet again.

"You are?" Aimee was shocked, then shook her head, "That's what I mean. We only see you in class, yet you study with him. What's going on between you?"

"Nothing. We're just helping each other with Astronomy. We don't even talk outside of that."

Aimee angled her body to lean back against the bed poster, her arms crossed, "You really don't mind spending time with him? Alone?"

"I told you-"

"He's not that bad. Yes, I know."

"I think…" Violet hesitated. She'd tried not to think about Draco, much less speak about whatever was happening between them, but she wanted to tell someone. Aimee waved a hand for Violent to continue, "I think he's scared. I think the angry, violent part of himself he shows is just to hide who he truly is."

Aimee hummed, "Scared of what, though?"

"I don't know." Violet shrugged, "But when we've been together, he's been polite, maybe even kind. I just don't think he's all bad like he wants people to believe."

Aimee stared up at the ceiling, contemplating a response, "It could be possible. I still don't trust him, but if you do…"

Violet couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her, "I don't know about trust, but I'd say he's growing on me."

Aimee moved to sit beside Violet, wrapping her arms around the girl in a tight hug, "I've missed you."

"Missed you too," Violet rolled her eyes jokingly, hugging her friend back.

━━━━━━⊱༻ ༺⊰━━━━━━

Breakfast the following morning was uncomfortable. Though Aimee and Violet had made up, Caroline was adamant she'd done nothing wrong. Hannah had apologized that morning before they'd left the common room, but she was keeping a distance from Violet. Hannah wasn't sure what or who to believe, so she was keeping to herself more and more.

Cedric had caught Violet before she'd left the common room.

"Sorry about last night," He'd said, "I wasn't trying to argue with you, but… He's bad news, Vi. I don't like the way he looks at you."

"Looks at me?" Violet asked, too tired to argue, "He doesn't look at me any special way, Ced. Anyway, it's fine. Can we just move on? I'm tired of fighting about this."

Cedric had nodded, hugging the girl tightly before they left for breakfast. He didn't want to let it go, but for her sake, he would.

Violet sat between Aimee and Cedric at breakfast, as usual. Violet stayed quiet for most of the meal, only speaking up when someone asked her a question or spoke directly to her. She was exhausted from the previous night, having stayed up well into the morning hours thinking about a certain blond haired boy.

Just as she was getting used to questioning herself about Draco, and to defending him, she was starting to get used to thinking about him. It wasn't every moment of the day, more so fleeting thoughts throughout the day.

Over the next few weeks, Violet fell back into a comfortable routine. Aside from Caroline, she was back to hanging out with her friends, focusing on her classes, and studying with Draco. She didn't know when exactly it had turned into that, when her tutoring the boy turned into them studying together, but she didn't mind it. When he wasn't being a bully, he was actually quite a smart boy. He was passing all of his classes with top marks, and once he was caught up in Astronomy, he and Violet spent most of the study time together reviewing notes and completing homework.

It had happened, too, that she was spending more time with the boy. What started as a few hours a week, turned into almost nightly meetings. It was an unspoken thing, that after dinner every evening they would meet in the library. It had started one Thursday evening, before they had Astronomy, Violet had been studying in their usual spot when Draco showed up too. Neither knew the other would be there, but from then on, they started meeting more often.

Most of the time they'd focus on their studies, but sometimes they would talk. Or, well, Violet would talk and Draco would listen. No matter how many questions she asked him, he rarely answered.

One evening, when she was particularly tired and couldn't be bothered to study, Violet simply laid her head on her arms and closed her eyes. Draco openly stared at her, curious why she was so quiet.

Draco usually rolled his eyes or sighed at her questions. Outwardly he seemed annoyed with it, but he didn't actually mind it. He wasn't used to someone wanting to know him so personally. He just wanted to keep a distance between the two of them, but he was finding it harder to do every day. He would never admit it aloud, but he looked forward to seeing Violet every day; it was one of the only things he really enjoyed.

Most of the questions she asked weren't of substance, as she'd learned the hard way not to ask serious questions, as one night she'd innocently asked about his family, and he'd stormed off without a word. They usually pertained to his favourite this or that, be it music, food, colour, or whatever else she thought of. He didn't often answer, and when he did, it was with one or two words.

Her silence that evening didn't bother him. He appreciated being able to watch her without fear of being caught. His eyes roamed her face, from the way her lips were slightly parted, to the freckles on her cheeks, which he'd never noticed before. He'd reasoned with himself that it was because they blended into her tan skin, and definitely not because he'd been avoiding focusing on her for more than a few seconds at a time.

"I can feel you staring." She mumbled, eyes still closed. Draco's eyes snapped back to his paper, "'S okay, I don't mind."

After a few minutes, he was convinced she'd fallen asleep, so he decided it was safe to look at her again. The ache in his chest turned painful as he watched her, as he wondered what it would be like to reach across the table and brush the hair out of her face. Would she wake up and yell at him? Run away? Would she smile at him in that gentle way she does whenever she thinks he's not looking?

Thinking of that smile, he decided to give it a chance, to give her a chance. Quietly, as if not to wake her, he whispered, "Green."

Of course, she hadn't actually been asleep, though she was rather close. When she heard his answer, the side of her mouth quirked up in that soft smile he'd been thinking of.

"Hm?" She responded, feigning to be half asleep.

He hesitated, unsure whether she was conscious enough to understand. He decided that if she wasn't, that was better, "My favourtie colour. It's green. But not dark green, like… like jade. Or sage. Light green, with a bit of blue to it."

It wasn't until the next morning when Violet was getting ready in her dorms bathroom and had looked in the mirror that she realized he'd been describing the colour of her eyes.

━⊱༻ ༺⊰━ TAGLIST: @stellarlune-love

[powderrblue]

it used to go question and then answer (when we were younger and it was easy)

title from hello world by the front bottoms

Hadlee flopped down on the couch.

She didn't know why she couldn't stay home. Something about being around her adopted family felt like bringing back the dead.

And hell knew she'd seen enough of that for a lifetime.

That was how she found herself in the old, crowded house again. At midnight, there usually were only around two or three people in the living room anyway- especially depending on who was controlling the TV remote.

A few of the newest actors Hadlee had only ever written files about were asleep facing the television.

Randy, though fully awake in the chair opposite her, hadn't commented on her return.

"Beau told ya, didn't she?" Hadlee finally found herself asking, desperate for any kind of distraction. Communication. A lot of things she couldn't name.

"I guessed you would be back anyway," he admitted in return. "There's easier things than Showfall that you don't come away from the same."

Hadlee's mouth felt dry as she pulled her knees to her chest. "I should've been able to go back, all I did was sit at a desk-"

"Yeah. And write out serial numbers for dead people. For five years."

"Processing antemortem records, technically. And filing autopsy reports."

"That just sounds worse," he argued his point, staring at her with an unreadable expression. If the topic hadn't been so serious, Hadlee would've laughed.

After pausing to think for a moment as though following the current conversation to every possible outcome, she shrugged to dismiss it entirely and laid down on the couch. "Your boss is great, by the way."

A scoff resounded in the room, though apparently Randy decided to humor her after a moment.

"I know."

Another pause added a short lull to the conversation.

"I met Maria a little bit ago, too." Hadlee stared at the ceiling, imagining shapes in the pattern. "Small world."

It took Randy a second to process the full extent of that implication. He nodded with a noncommittal shrug.

"Think they need a babysitter?"

The older leaned back, his gaze following Hadlee's own to the ceiling. "There's practically a waiting list ready to babysit that girl at Maria's beck and call. I would guess no."

"Mm. Bummer," Hadlee said. "Ava's an okay kid."

Randy knew that.

Randy could remember, too, when Charlie had been as small as Ava was now. Sometimes the little girl's voice would almost bring him back to the day he'd met the nearly red-haired kid in the makeshift movie set cabin.

Sometimes he heard five-year-old Charlie laugh when he listened to her.

Sometimes he wanted to go back. Always, he knew it wasn't right.

Shaking his head to clear it, he realized Hadlee had turned around to face him. There was no pity in her gaze- just understanding. Probably more than Randy wanted to think about.

Without a word, she plucked the television remote off the coffee table that was barely even a coffee table anymore. The screen flicked to some nature documentary, and Randy couldn't help but instinctually relax a bit.

Nature documentaries were one of the few things that didn't feel horrifying to watch. There was no acting. No effects that could have been real. Just a voice reading nature facts, the animals, and greenery the likes of which no one in Showfall had seen since their introduction to the mall.

He'd never entirely expected to be appreciative of the genre, but he wouldn't be one to turn down the distraction it offered.

"Thanks," Hadlee finally said, staring with a cloudy expression at the wall beside Randy. "For letting me stay and everything. Helps being around people who get it."

Randy nodded. "Still thinking about Paislie."

It wasn't a question.

Hadlee's head tipped forward, coming to rest on her knees as her shoulders began to shake.

"I could've saved him."

I could've saved him.

That was what Randy had said to the doctors the night Charlie and Sneeg literally tore each other apart.

I could've saved him.

Henrik, lying in a puddle of his own blood with countless scars that he'd thought would be gone the next day.

I could've saved him.

He still thought it every time he saw Maria.

Randy didn't have the heart to deny the thought to Hadlee. If he did, she'd probably deflect it back onto him anyway. That was most definitely on the list of conversations Randy was not ready for.

Before he could make a move to try to offer comfort, she managed to pull herself together and shove her choppy black curls away from her forehead.

His own scattered thoughts latched onto the small but constant comfort Beau's family was.

"I bet the girls could use some help with everything tomorrow. Bringing dinner out here."

Hadlee looked up with a shaky grin. "Thought you said they're drowning in babysitting volunteers."

"Yeah, yeah, well." Randy held out a blanket for Hadlee to take. "If you'll be here tonight anyway. You know Beau likes your company."

The younger scoffed lightheartedly. "Probably not."

"I would know," Randy returned, moving a pillow on the couch beside Hadlee.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you took offense at that."

Randy scoffed in turn. "Alright, that's enough emotions for a week, and you look as tired as I feel. I'll drop you off in the morning and Beau can get you to college if you're feeling up for it."

Hadlee nodded, hesitating before offering one more quiet "thank you" that she wasn't even sure the other heard.

"There she is," Hadlee found herself saying the next morning as she scooped Ava into her arms and spun around with her. "Look at you, gettin' up early."

"Mama's still sleepin'," the curly-haired girl declared before climbing onto Hadlee's back.

Hadlee had, at some point that morning, decided to walk to Beau and Maria's place. There had been no point in calling for a ride or waking up anyone at the other house.

Another voice from the patio made Hadlee look up.

"Morning, Hadlee," Beau called to her. "I was just getting ready to start breakfast."

"I'll help," Hadlee said with a nod. "Brought some coffee."

Beau smiled. "You know us too well. Come on in, come on. Take off your coat and stay a while."

Hadlee shrugged her backpack off, handing Beau a cardboard takeout drink holder so she could turn her attention back to Ava.

"Are you goin' back to school?" Ava asked, pulling Hadlee's hair slightly as she pretended to put it into a ponytail.

"Probably," Hadlee grinned, playfully fluffing the five-year-old's curls.

"And I'm going to kindergarten."

Hadlee nodded. "You're getting so big already."

Beau offered Hadlee a quick but comforting hug before turning to peel Ava off Hadlee's back. "If you wanna get some of the waffles out of the freezer, I'll get this one ready for school."

"Can Hal go with us?"

"She's gonna stay home for a while. She'll be back with me to pick you up, remember?"

"Nah, it's fine," Hadlee said. "If there's room in the car, I can go."

Beau glanced over. "You're sure?"

"Unless it's a bother, I-"

"Oh, you know it isn't," the older cut Hadlee off. "You can take one of the sweatshirts in the entry closet, it's awfully cold to be wearing a t-shirt."

Hadlee shot her a grateful smile, though ultimately decided to at least start on breakfast first.

It hadn't been easy to find time to build up her wardrobe again. With her family's memories of her erased and everything she had before Showfall either distributed among her siblings or gone entirely, even the government funds were only going so far.

"You feeling okay to try going to classes again today?" Beau asked, breaking Hadlee out of her trance. Ava was nowhere to be seen, presumably picking out her own outfit for the day as many five-year-olds would insist on doing.

"Not sure yet," Hadlee admitted. "Might just go outside and watch them or something. I couldn't stay home last night, either. Left a note and slept at the other house."

A gentle hand moved to rub her shoulder. "You know you're welcome to the futon in my office, at least during the day. It's not the best, but it's comfortable enough to do classes in."

"Thank you," Hadlee murmured, not trusting her voice as emotion threatened to choke it out entirely.

Beau gently slid the toaster closer to herself. "It's nothing. I'll take care of this. Go get something warm on, okay?" She paused, waiting for a nod from Hadlee before continuing. "Maybe we should go out today instead. The professors won't give you trouble."

"I know," Hadlee said. "Maybe. Sounds nice."

Beau offered an encouraging smile. "Consider it done, then. Right after-"

As though on cue, Ava slkipped out into the kitchen, shirt inside out and shoes on the wrong feet.

"Want some help with those shoes, Ava?"

Hadlee laughed a little as the little girl firmly shook her head.

"Backwards Thursday it is," Beau confirmed.

Hadlee did find a blue jacket she liked, and breakfast continued with little else happening. Ava mostly continued her chatter, though neither of the adults there minded. By the time several recountings of jumbled antics from Ava's class had been described with exaggerated detail, the drive had been completed.

Beau's usual 'listen to your teachers, we'll be back in a few hours' talk followed, and Hadlee watched as Ava walked to the group gathered around her teacher.

"Thinking about going anywhere in particular?"

Hadlee looked over, hesitation flickering in her eyes. "Not- not really, I guess. Not yet. It's been a few years."

"That's fine."

"House first?"

"House first."

Hadlee had never regretted any two words more in her whole life.

"Hadlee, I need a phone now."

"What's wrong?"

"No questions, just hurry."

Hadlee was ready to panic. Beau's voice barely sounded like her. It wasn't her. The calm but firm woman Hadlee had begun leaning on was only scared now. No matter how much Hadlee didn't want to be, she was beginning to realize why.

"What happened?" Randy's voice cut through the fog in Hadlee's mind for a second, but it didn't last.

"It's Maria. Don't ask, I don't know any more than you do. Come on."

"I'm sorry, I should've stayed home, I'm sorry," Hadlee heard herself say without any idea who she was saying it to.

"Hadlee, I need you to tell me where they are." Randy again.

Hadlee could feel a strong, painful grip on her arms that nearly left her sobbing before she realized it was from her own hands.

"I don't know," she managed to say, fighting the shuddering feeling in her spine. "I promised Pey, he told me and I promised, I should've-"

"Hadlee, stop," Randy interrupted, and she could swear he was shaking as much as she was.

Her brain was repeating the same thoughts, how she could've stayed home and stopped Maria, how she could've saved Beau from this, how Randy was probably more scared than Hadlee herself was.

And yet she couldn't bring herself to say a word.

First Henrik, then Paislie, now Maria, just like the eighteen-year-old had guessed.

Hadlee didn't move from the waiting room floor.

Randy stayed by the door too, likely waiting for any news.

The silence was deafening.

It could've been seconds or hours later that Hadlee heard a voice she didn't recognize, hurried questions from Randy intermittently cutting in.

"-was three minutes ago."

"Is her wife still here?"

"We left her to process everything for a moment."

Silence returned, during which Hadlee made an effort to open her eyes even a little to see what was happening.

"We're going home."

Randy's expression sent a chill through Hadlee. She'd only ever seen him like this once before.

"Can I stay with Beau?"

The older looked as though he were gearing up to yell -or something, it was hard to tell anymore- before he sighed. A nod was the only gesture she was offered.

"I'll take the car home."

And just like that, Hadlee found herself alone in the waiting room.

Nurses walked back and forth, every once in a while glancing up at Hadlee as though they weren't sure whether or not to address her.

She felt just as lost as some of them looked when they sent millisecond-long looks in her direction.

Just hours before, she'd been thinking about college. Her family. Ava.

Ava.

That little girl's mom wasn't coming home.

Her mom wasn't coming home and she would have every right to blame it on Hadlee once she was old enough to know what happened.

Hadlee's brain felt clouded over, any sense of time gone.

"It's time to go."

That was Beau.

Her voice sounded different from how it had this morning. Expectedly so, not that that helped.

It was a different Hadlee had never thought she'd have to hear, she thought as least this family could be safe and happy.

It had been months and still the shadow of Showfall loomed over the whole family. That was the realization that made Hadlee want to scream until her voice gave out.

"Don't apologize, honey. We're going home."

Hadlee looked up. Had she said something? Fuck, existing had never hurt this much.

"Ava's with Niki and Cade tonight. They offered to take her until the house gets put back together."

"I'll drive," Hadlee offered suddenly, walking as close beside Beau as she could for what little comfort she hoped it was worth.

It was the least she could do at this point.

Beau didn't answer.

The only sounds on the way back to the house was the car engine and the barely audible sound of crying.

Fourteen hours after they'd left to follow Maria, Hadlee pulled Beau's car back into the driveway.

At some point during the night, Hadlee threw more waffles in the toaster. She knew neither of them were hungry, but eating would at least give both herself and Beau something constructive to do. Neither of them felt like sleeping. Or maybe they did and just refused to tell the other.

Either way, she was practically delirious with grief (defeat?) and confusion by the morning. Confusion, though, mostly for the sake of the fact that she hardly even knew Maria. Confusion because she felt like her emotions were already running dry.

It at least offered her the one small mercy of being able to hold herself together for the older woman's sake.

Without that, she was sure Beau's attempt to apologize would have sent her spiraling.

After that Hadlee had been sure things couldn't get worse.

She had been wrong.

The sun had only been up for a few hours when a knock on the door came. Hadlee's dampened hope that it would just be Niki or Charlie or anyone she knew was drowned out as her eyes met yet another unfamiliar face.

Hadlee could only listen, at a complete loss as the officer told her Randy didn't make it to the house.

He'd offered to show her and Beau pictures of the car.

The younger just shook her head.

No matter how hard Hadlee tried, there were no right choices she could make with the options given to her. She couldn't help but wonder if this was how Showfall must have felt for the ones who weren't lucky enough to just have a desk job.

Hadlee had left the house after the cop car did, promising Beau not to go farther than the woods behind her house, promising to come back.

Whatever domino effect had attached itself to Beau's family had come full circle in one last violent tragedy of circumstance.

Hadlee had made it through Showfall for five years. She'd made it back to her family, made it back to college. She'd thought the last survivors would have made it, too. She'd thought Beau's family would heal, as painfully slow as it was.

Now it was gone save for Ava, and Hadlee's own world had never felt closer to ending.

[aquarellines]

sick but need to study?

sometimes life can't compromise for things that happen to us, even if we're top-notch students or just simply trying to get by. (I've been both, so there's no judgment here, ever!)

disclaimer: of course, this isn't going to work for everyone. feel free to adjust or alter anything for this to help you in the long term.

some values I want to focus on as a person and a student are:

consistency

productivity

proactivity

understanding and not just knowing

and I struggle with that a lot. so for myself, and for whoever needs this, here is what I do if I happen to be sick or injured and work needs to be done.

I'm going to start with the obvious/general ones here.

TAKE BREAKS WHEN YOU NEED TO! for crying out loud, you're sick. it's alright to not be at your usual best! studies say you recover faster when you're in a peaceful environment (where stress isn't present).

(and of course, if you feel like you have absolutely no energy to work, then rest! focus on how you feel internally and externally, as that will always take more priority over your studies.)

you have to listen to your body and know your threshold in terms of productivity. if you know that you can only do the planning stages of a project or only have the energy to do one review sheet, do it. of course, when you start and realize you only have the capability to complete a few questions or a few tasks, then listen.

it's very important you listen to yourself, especially when your body is doing a lot of work to get yourself to your usual!

2. have a small goal in mind. this helps you see where a good place to stop and start is when you're doing tasks.

right now, I had a list of tasks and decided that my chapter 2 math worksheet was my main focus.

now, I wasn't expecting to get anything else done but I would finish what I could do and then leave an array of goals that I could focus on and attempt to complete the next day.

(i didn't have to do all of them, but I could decide based on my energy levels)

3. adjust the workspace to fit your needs.

right now, I'm typing this with socks, a hot cup of tea, a hot cup of water, and some Lofi. I've also got tissues and a string of Christmas lights (since having the light on would simply be too much).

this is very straightforward. if you need to adjust to your sensitivity to any sounds, lights, or any distractions, then by all means, do. you could ask whoever's with you to assist or simply do the bare minimum. having little comfort is better than having none at all.

when I was in grade 8 and trying to finish math, I had a small table propped up on my bed, and I had a small notepad containing a small set of tasks I needed to complete. at my side were my materials.

so here's some brainstorming for you, to see what works out!

when you're sick, what are you usually sensitive to?

what are some things that give you mild-severe discomfort when you're sick?

do you think making a small "kit" or "protocol" you need to follow would work? (i.e, a list of items that could make self-care easier or a set of tasks that will act as a "crutch" when you're sick)

how do you think the "kit" or "protocol" would fit your needs?

what is one (or more!) way(s) you can adjust the environment instantly if you get sick? (mine is closing my windows, turning up the heater, and tissues and hot water on standby.)

note: these are really simple, and by all means, you don't have to listen to me at all! this is what works for me, and I also think that providing my options may help you find yours, or improve them!

take care and good night! I'm going to play genshin and pass out; and if I happen to have more study tips, there will be a part two. <3

[donutsupremacy]

10 Things I hate about you

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Summary

"You laid resting on your bed, staring at the ceiling of your room with lifeless eyes. The events from a few days ago was still fresh in your mind and it was painful. Yet, as much as you tried to forget about it, you can't help but reminisce those old memories. The same memories that made you wonder; Was this the reason you hated him?"

Warnings

Angst

No comfort

Modern AU

Cheating

Toxic Relationships

Cursing

Slightly detailed smut, nothing too spicy (Parts are marked with ⚠️)

A/N: Before you scarasimps try to invade a plane to my country and nuke my home, I only made this for the shits and giggles. Remember the saying: 'Don't like, don't engage'. I mean, you wouldn't want to waste your breath on me right lol

ALSO ALSO MY SCHOOL HAS THIS EVENT WITH ACTIVITIES AND WHATNOT AND IT WAS THE ONE DAY WHERE I WAS TOO LAZY TO GO AND I MISSED MY CHANCE TO MEET SOMEONE DRESSED AS SCARA

I was gonna ask if they could do the fandango :(

Song based on;

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Your heartbreak begins here

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Staring at the ceiling was taunting. All you were staring at right now was absolutely nothing. Purely blank. Emptiness.

That is exactly how you have been feeling recently.

It has only been a few days ever since you caught him holding her in his arms, not you, but someone else. And the way he looked at her... the same way he looked at you, with nothing but pure love.

Now, he's looking at someone else with the look that was meant for you and only you.

Was he planning this from the very beginning? Related to all of the things that had been happening lately? Where was your old Scaramouche?

Where was the Scaramouche who would melt in your arms after finishing his assignmente? Where was your beloved boyfriend who would always pepper you in kisses every night before you fell asleep in his arms? Where was your one and only who would always lend you his shoulder to cry on and whisper sweet nothing in your ears?

He's gone.

Forever.

Now he belonged to someone else. No longer yours.

Just remembering that glare he gave you before turning his back to you, walking away with the girl who now took your place in his heart. It hurts. It hurts so much and it the pain only grew every second.

The past few days, it's the only thing that has been occupying your head. Wondering one thing; Why? Why did he change?

No matter what, more and more questions continue to flood your head. You have tried everything to forget about him, desperate to move on just as easily as he did. Why were you even hung up on him in the first place? Perhaps listening to some music might take him off your mind.

At least for a few minutes would help.

You mindlessly scrolled through a list of songs to play, lazily scanning the titles that passed by your vision in a blur. As much as you'd love to listen to these songs on a gloomy day, you doubt any of these would do th—

"..Huh?..."

You blinked, realizing you had accidentally pressed on a song you rarely listened to '10 things I hate about you by Leah Kate'. As the song began playing with the lyrics showing on the screen, you couldn't help but immediately think of your own ex.

All of those horrid memories came flooding back and you can't help but feel your eyes slowly forming tears when you began remembering the older times. Back when he truly loved you, gave you the whole world and said that you're his everything.

So I made a list so I never forget

All the things I hate about you

Now, you were absolutely nothing to him.

Ten, you're selfish

"Kuni, Kuni! Have you seen... my laptop!"

"Oh, hey babe. I just finished my assignment, do you need it back?"

"Kuni, why didn't you tell me you were gonna use it earlier? I failed my presentation because the whole thing was in my laptop!"

"Well... It's your fault for leaving it on the table, you idiot. Besides, you can do your presentation tomorros."

"Still, you should've told me that you were gonna use it... Miss Ningguang allowed me to go last and gave me time to return back here to search for my laptop... I could've passed had you not taken it..."

"Tsk... and you should've been less forgetful about leaving your shit around."

In the end, you were the one apologising.

Nine, you're jaded

"I'm so confused..."

"Heh, you just suck ass."

"Says you!"

"I already finished the whole game several times."

"Mmm... Can you—"

"No."

"Pleaaaaase!!"

"I've done it like a million times already, I know you've seen my techniques at least three times befofe. You'll pass it, eventually. I don't wanna waste 20 minutes doing the same shit again."

Instead of guiding you, he's just been laughing and criticising at you for the past hour.

Eight, the dumbest guy i've dated

"Oh, dark chocolate. Heh, I didn't know you can cook without burning something."

"Hey! Give me credit for trying!... A-Anyways, how does it taste?"

"It legit tastes absolutely amazing. I'm impressed you remembered I love dark chocolate."

"Of course, we've been together for 2 years now. Do you... 'remember' the day where we first met eachother?"

"Yeah, you almost hit me in the face with a door."

"Wha— You promised to not bring that up again, jackass!"

"Ahahaha! Why not? I remember how you looked like you were gonna shit yourself when I glared at you that day."

"I thought you were gonna punch me!"

"Not my fault you almost placed a dent in my face."

"Goddamn grape head... But, uh... is that it?"

"Pfft, like i'd ever punch my partner in the face. I'd rather kick you instead."

"Eh?... No that's not what I—"

"A punch or a kick, take your pick."

"...Uh... kick—"

"It's settled then!"

So, he didn't even remember your anniversary, huh?

⚠️ Seven, talk a big game till' you're naked

"You sly little fuck, you thought you could get away with touching me under the table back there, huh?"

"Mmm, what ever do you mean?~"

"Woooow, hahaha... You actually want my fucking cock inside of you so badly, huh?"

"Oh, do I now?"

"Damn well you do, i'm gonna screw you so hard that all you're gonna think about is me fucking your brain out."

"Aww, all riled up over nothing? I just wanted my boyfriend to know how much I loved him!~"

"Ngh... H-Hey, c'mon now, stop—"

"That's cute, you like it when I rub you here—"

"[N-Name]... Ahh... k-keep going..."

"...Okay..."

"Please... don't stop..."

"Aha... How the tables have turned?..."

You really didn't expect him to submit this easily.

Only six seconds and I had to fake it

"Are you alright?... You seem... out if it."

"I-I'm fine, aha... J-Just reaaaaally tired..."

"Does that mean I did a great job?"

"Of course you did, Kuni... Ah, i'm going to take a bath."

"Mind if I join you?~"

"Wha— P-Pervert!"

"Oh please, like you never tried to 'walk in' on me changing."

"Tsk, sit your ass down, i'm taking the bath first!"

"Fine... But I know you'll come crawling back for it when it's my turn to bathe."

"...I wish."

Your own hand can satisfy yourself better than him.

Five, you're toxic

"What the hell, [Name]!?"

"Sorry! Sorry! I'll get you n—"

"Stop moving around, for Archons sake the lid is off! You're just going to spill more coffee!"

"I didn't mean t—"

"Shut the fuck up and sit down!... Great... now my skin is all sticky..."

"I-I'll clean up the floor."

"Don't. I'll do it. Finish your coffee first before you end up making more of a mess. It's what you do best anyways."

Was shoving you back into the chair necessary?

Four, can't trust you

"Guh... Get off my waist..."

"I can't believe this... I told you to make sure someone would drive you home if you got drunk!"

"Well... Y-You didn't bother going with... me."

"Because I have that ridiculous quiz tomorrow, Scaramouche, I told you this alread—"

"I knew it!... I'm not important to you, aren't I!?"

"A-Archons, Kuni, calm down! Stop thrashing around so—... Wh-What's that?"

"Nothing... I'm going to bed."

"Kuni, wait..."

"Fuck off."

Did he actually find someone else because he thought he was unimportant to you? That would explain the hickey.

Three, you still got mommy issues

"For fucks sakes, Ei, will you shut the hell up!?"

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, young man!"

"I wouldn't 'talk like that' if you had stopped comparing me to [Name] for one second!"

"I am only stating your flaws that they can help resolve and fix! Such as your attitude!"

"My attitude's got nothing to fix! It's your bullshit and shitty parenting skills that needs to be resolved! Of course i'm not perfect, but it's pointless trying to compare me with others when all it's gonna do is break my fucking confidence!"

"Kuni, stop that! She wasn't being harsh on purpose!"

"Can't you learn to shut up for once!? I've had enough of her shit and it's about damn time I give her a peace of my mind!"

"Don't you dare treat your partner like this!"

"Then stop treating me like i'm second best at everything!"

She was never good with words. But she truly cared for him.

Two years of your bullshit I can't undo

"K-Kuni?..."

His blue eyes widened at the sight of you, brows furrowed as you stood there right in front of him, eyes averting between him and the confused girl laying her head on his shoulder. His face soon contorted to a blank expression, it was like he didn't care about getting caught anymore.

"Wh-Who..."

"Zuzu... Is... this your friend?"

'Zuzu'. What a cute nickname. And judging by that lovesick smile on his face, he adored it.

"Heeey, wanna go visit that cat café down the street?"

"W-Wait, really!? But I thought you hated cats!"

"Aww, but you're my kitten. Why would I hate you?"

Placing a kiss on her cheek right in front of you was insulting enough. But you didn't think he was this cruel as he walked away from you, hand-in-hand with a girl who wasn't you.

He didn't even say a proper goodbye.

One I hate the fact that you made me love you

And with that one last glare he had sent you, you immediately knew what those cold blue eyes were trying to tell you;

He had erased you from his world permanently.

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A/N: Idk if anyone saw, but actually this whole fic was rewritten from SCRATCH. I accidentally posted the original when I wanted to put it on draft. I panicked and deleted it instantly which noooow I had to rewrite the whole thing again with no memory from what I had written before.

Idk I kinda preferred the one I deleted cause I had more fun writing that than the one I spend about several hours on cause my dumbass pressed post by accident-

[matchaskiiess]

PROMPTS. story ideas

welcome to my prompts list where you can find ideas for your requests, or for me to use when writing my stories.

these will be used quite frequently, so you are more then welcome to use any of them as requests your own stories if you’d like.

SELF CONTROL (guidelines) NAVIGATION (main info centre)

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FLUFF !

“how much sleep did you get last night?”

“want me to spend the night?”

“you smell nice.”

“I just know you’re the one for me.”

“kiss me.”

“I love you.” “say that again.” “I love you.”

“you’re cute when you’re angry.”

“say the words and I am yours.”

“just… hold my hand for a bit.”

“tell me about you day, (baby/love), let me make it better.”

“let me take care of you.”

“I love you, even the parts of you don’t like.”

“you make everything a little bit easier.”

“I hope I see you in my dreams.”

“you’re staring again.”

“I missed you so much.”

“what are you doing here? it’s late.”

“I feel like I can’t breathe when I am around you.”

“you can’t kick me out, this is my bedroom too.”

“I like the way your hand fits in mine.”

“it’s nice that the first thing that I hear in the morning is your voice.”

massaging their shoulders when they clearly had a long day

cupping their cheeks

random "i love you"s just in case they forgot

kisses on the cheeks

kisses on the tip of their nose

or on their upper lip/cupids bow

playing with their fingers

reading with them

taking pictures of them when they don't realize it because they just look too good to not do so.

fixing their hair for them

pulling them closer when a cool breeze hits you both outside

linking arms

tying their shoe when you notice the laces flying around

knowing their morning routine so perfectly that you already have some of their breakfast/drinks laid out before they get to the kitchen

recording their favorite show on the dvr because you know they'll be in a little late tonight and miss it

gently wiping something off of their face and noticing them smiling because you're just so cute and close

pulling each other into the warmest hugs dancing together for the first time

letting them take a sip of your drink, then another, then another, then- you might as well let them keep it giving them a bite of your food

resting your head on their shoulder

lying on the couch on top of eachother, one combing their fingers through the other's hair as they watch a movie

waking their partner up for work when they notice their alarm didn't go off

alternatively: allowing their partner to sleep in because they were overworked anyway and need the rest.

one waking up before the other, so they make up their side of the bed and can't help but tuck in their sleeping lover as they do so.

giving the other a spoonful of the meal they're cooking to test it out, holding their hand under their chin so nothing falls.

one is sick, so the other heats up a blanket in the dryer to give it to them while they rest on the couch.

listening to music together while they both take the day to clean around the house (maybe even getting a little distracted to dance instead)

calmly reassuring the other it's okay when they drop a glass, gently checking their hands for any injury.

wiping a bit of frosting (or smth else off of their cheek while eating and taking it for themself

smiling across the table when their cheeks are full of food and look quite cute.

tracing your lover's features as they sleep

trying to count the freckles on your partner's cheeks when they're asleep

waking up with their legs over yours as they're stretched out and comfortable

taking pictures after finding your lover dozing peacefully while bundled up in blankets

running fingers through their hair as they snooze against your shoulder

feeling their fingers run through your hair while they lull you to sleep

napping on the couch together

hearing them snore a little for the first time

maybe the snoring is small, quiet and you can't help but giggle since it's kind of cute

or maybe it's quite loud and you realize you plan to spend the rest of your life with this

seeing that they're finding a hard time finding a comfortable position so you pull them into your arms

being annoyed because it's extremely hot out and they insist that they cuddle that night

laughing at their messy hair in the morning

trying to hold the others hand and failing miserably so then they make a fool proof plan they think will work just to hold their love interests hand

the talk with their best friend like "should i just give up? at this point you'd have to be pretending not to know"

character b going in for a kiss and when they both accidentally bump heads character b can't stop laughing at the insanity and character a is just confused because they genuinely didn't know b was going in for a kiss

the spider-man meme where they're all pointing at each other but it's a conversation like "i said i didn't like you like that because you said you didn't like me" "but i said i didn't like you because you were literally in love with someone else" then "i only said i was in love with them because you didn't want me!"

────────────────────────────

ANGST !

“I didn’t know where else to go.”

“don’t act like you know me.”

“why should you care?”

“I can’t do this without you.”

“don’t let me lose you too.”

“I am sorry, but I am done waiting.”

“all I want is for you to look at me the way you look at them.”

“thank you for the offer, but I am over you.”

“leave. leave right now.”

“what more do you want from me?!”

“shut up! just … shut up.”

“what the hell is wrong with you.”

“you’re so pathetic.”

“do you think so little of me?”

“I can’t do this anymore. not with you.”

“I never thought you’d be the one to break my heart.”

“we are not friends, and you fucking know it.”

“I need some time.”

“do you not trust me?”

“I saw the way you looked at them.”

“I am not jealous.”

"are you happy now? huh? DOES THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY?!"

“you said you’d always be there for me… so how did this happen? why weren’t you there?”

“did it ever occur to you that you’re the one hurting me?”

“we can be friends instead.”

“I just want the pain to stop.”

“I have tried to move on, and you won’t fucking let me! why?”

"don't apologize if you are just going to keep doing this shit, apologize when you're actually going to change because im tired of having my hopes crushed everytime"

"I just want you to care about me"

" know that you don't really care about me, so thanks for trying to pretend that you do"

"you don't know how badly I want to use your head to break this glass"

"why would you go back to them? so they can call you down and threaten you everyday?"

“look me in the eyes and say that.”

────────────────────────────

[greypetrel]

'Greis I'm looking at you' -I entirely agree with the tag :P I had to restrain myself from picking ten different flowers, buttt maybe "Elder" for Raina and "Camellia" for dark lady Aisling?

Hello Greis! 💜✨

Gonna do another post for the second in due time, I KNEW this was the prompt list for you. And if you want to ask something else be my guest whenever, it’s a fun list. :3

I tried to make it romantic... It turned out angsty. The raccoon didn't listen to me either and here she goes and she goes on forever. Because when she fucks up, she fucks up GREATLY.

Tis the prompt list

No One Likes a Jack-The-Lass

Elder- compassion

Having a crush is nice.

Having a crush makes you feel light on your feet and eager to wake up in the morning, gives you something to strive towards and makes you feel like, after all, you’re doing something right in your life, that in spite of the death and pain and devastation, there’s something light and nice to keep you anchored and afloat.

If you desperately crave stability after your sister was brought to the Circle, your youngest brother is either dead or a Grey Warden, your mother dead horribly but ten days ago, all you need is a crush to distract you and keep you smiling and going forward.

Having two is even better: one is there to distract you when there’s something cold and dead clutching at your heart painfully when you’re thinking that one would not be anything more stable than two friends mutually scratching an itch, and the other couldn’t be if you want to maintain the first as well. But it’s fine: as long as you keep them both private, close to your heart, without telling anyone, you just have the giddiness and the smile upon your face, without any of the maluses.

You don’t have to decide, if it’s all in your head. It’s easy, if it’s all in your head.

But there is nothing easy in both her crushes, as much as Raina has been trying her damn best to pretend it is. She can pretend life is good, that her feelings for Isabela, the one thing she clearly told her was out of the table with her, aren’t slowly gnawing at her well-pretended happiness. To pretend that she isn’t desperately explicit, lately, in how much she just wants to fall on her knees before Merrill, on the other hand, and tell her to please accept her and return her feeling and kiss her. To pretend that pursuing Merrill doesn’t mean leaving Isabela, and vice versa.

She doesn’t have to decide, and she can pretend some more, that her life is looking up. That her family may be half destroyed, in spite of everything she did for them, but she has friends she can count upon, she has two crushes, she doesn’t destroy everything she touches, she won’t destroy everything else.

The first crack in the lie comes one day, as she realizes that maybe her circle of friends is slowly cracking under her hands.

The first crack in the lie is realizing she is losing Anders as well.

Anders whom she laughs with. Anders who tried to teach her brother and couldn’t get him past repairing broken bones. Anders she always teams up with in missions. Anders who just gets her humour and launches it right back at her. Anders who fights against windmills as much as she does. Anders who does the right thing even if it means living in the sewers and hiding, and who wouldn’t take too much advantage of her house, even if it was freely offered as a shelter. Anders who understands hating oneself and disappointing the rest of the world. Anders who is her friend.

Anders who has been, apparently, harbouring feelings for her and is just telling her, in his clinic, in front of people and patients that are awkwardly pretending they aren’t there to hear.

Anders who is just making her hate herself all the more.

Because in another universe, with another person, it would have possibly to slip from a friendship to romance. She would tell him that she doesn’t care of Justice or that he sleeps in the small room on the back of the sewer clinic. She never minded, and she doesn’t now, she understands having such a low opinion of herself.

And yet, it’s not another universe.

“You can’t tease me like this and expect me to be still forever.”

And yet, he’s frowning at her and approaching, his eyes are intense, his hand runs to hers and-

“I-” She steps back. “… What do you think is going on between us?”

He stops, blinking twice at her, mouth open and at loss for word.

“I’m… I misunderstood? But you- You said-”

“Anders. I call Varric husband.” She underlines, and there’s regret in her voice, and she’s restless and wishing they were anywhere but there. She tries to be kind and delicate about it, but it doesn’t do much in having him look less puzzled and hurt.

“Yes but you are clearly joking with him, I thought that with me- Why the flirting? What’s… It’s Justice, isn’t it? You finally realized-”

It’s funny how in that situation too, they’re just there, both making a challenge of who can hate oneself better. Raina tho, is not a person who will stand down a challenge. Never was, never will be. Not on this thing in particular.

“No. You’re a dear friend but… I like women.”

“I know, but-”

“I mean that I like only women. I’m not interested in men. I never was. Not in Varric… Not in you.”

They stand there, one in front of the other, the air so tense Raina could cut it with one of her daggers, if she unsheathed it right now. Instead, she stands there, looking down at her feet with a deep frown, acrid bile rising up in her throat and feeling the eyes of every single person in the clinic, still around them and looking at the pair, burning on her skin, itching and making her want to run away, don’t look at the cracks, don’t look at how she ruined yet another good thing.

“I’m sorry. It has nothing to do with Justice, or magic, or…”

“No. I am sorry. I misunderstood. It won’t happen again.” He stops her, tone clipped, a wall rising instantly around him.

He steps back, clears his throat, and rights his jacket, just to have something to do with his hands, and with a nod of goodbye just turns his back at her and walks towards the back room briskly, with as much dignity as he can muster.

“Please, Anders, let me-”

“You should go.”

One step to follow him, and she stops at his words, her hand in the air, outstretched. She lets it fall at her side, the eyes around her burns more every second it passes. She should be stubborn and follow him and make him turn and make him listen and explain. But there’s a wall before her, and she feels horrible, and it’s, suddenly, like watching her mother’s back on the way back home, silent and disappointed in her, back in Lothering when she still was trying to find her a good marriage in those dreadful months after her father died and they struggled with money and keeping the farm. Her mother who told her she was proud of her just before dying, and whose words Raina really can’t believe were but just a void peace offering, at long last.

Nauseated with herself, Raina steps back and, not ready to face that here and there, where everyone can look. She’d need compassion, now, and it’s not the place she can find it. And there’s nothing she can do to fix this, no magic spell, no helpful spirit, no nice gesture or chore to do in his place. What she can do, is listen to what he wants and heed it. She walks mechanically to the exit door, and from there she runs.

---

“Do you need to tell me something?”

“Do you want me to tell you poems now?” Isabela laughs, not turning to look at her as she slowly brings her hands on her back, untying the bow and loosening the laces of her corset carefully, in the way she knows Raina likes. “What should it be… Roses are red, violets are blue / Charming Hawke how much I desire you.”

She snorts, not really in the mood for jokes, for once. Not that anything changed for her, on the contrary: if she’s ill at ease with Bela is just because she is desperately wishing whatever this was meant more for her as well, and that the piratess would just tell her that she doesn’t desire other people as well. But that is not a topic Raina will introduce first. No, what is sitting heavily on her conscience and distracting her from the obvious and well-practiced attempt to seduce her is something else, right now.

“I meant what happened this morning, actually.”

“Oh? What happened this morning? I may need some… Incentive to refreshen my memory.”

The corset gets thrown at Hawke, who catches it as it collides against her chest, holding it up where it landed and keeping it there. Having something for her fingers to fidget with helps, as she steps back just enough to lean against the wall.

“I’m serious, Bela.”

“Mh, come and tell me how much, would you?” She whispers, strutting to press herself flush to Hawke, hopping on the balls of her feet to tease her lips with hers for a kiss, hands falling on her hips.

It’s a struggle, by then, to keep concentrated, but with what happened with Anders but yesterday, the doubts Raina has over the event of the day and… And well, whatever’s going on with Merrill, it’s less of a struggle to resist to the piratess’ attentions and lean her head back, refusing the kiss and making her lover pout.

“You ditched me at the Qunari compound.”

“I’ve been a bad, bad girl-”

“Bela.” She chides, seriously. “What’s going on? It’s the third time you suddenly remember you have something else to do just when we get there.”

All her reply is a sardonic snort and the sudden lack of a warm, soft body pressing her against the wall, and being met with Bela’s eyes that are suddenly keen and attentive, not playful and… Raina would say loving to fool herself and stubbornly convince her that her feelings are not unrequited.

“What about it? I don’t want to enter the Compound. All those stern faces give me the creeps.”

“You’ve told better lies trying to fend off people hitting on you downstairs.”

“So what? Varric lies all the time, you lie all the time, why is it a problem if I do? It never stopped you before.”

“I just want to know what’s going on.”

“Nothing is going on, don’t worry about it.”

“Bullshit, Bela. Just tell me, I can help.”

Isabela, at that, laughs. It’s not a happy laugh, it’s mirthless and it has an edge of scorn to it. Particularly because the keenness of her face is intensifying, and now the woman is scowling at her. Barely two steps away, and yet daring Hawke to get any closer.

“You can help. Of course. The Great Hawke helps everyone, there’s nothing she can’t do, right? So of course you can also help poor, helpless me, the damsel in distress, terribly needing guidance as the current drifts me away.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, and you know it.” Raina underlines, growing irritated at the unfair accusation and not minding how much it stings.

“What did you mean, then? If I wanted your help, I would ask.”

“I meant that I thought you trusted me, by now.”

“I do trust you, Hawke.” Bela replies, and there’s honesty in her eyes, albeit she’s still glaring at her. “I trust you in a fight and as a drinking companion, and I trust you in my bed. I don’t see where this-” She gestures vaguely at her. “-comes from.”

It stings. It stings painfully too close to her heart. A sane part of her brain, the rational, diplomatic one, tells her that she should not reply, she should apologize, lie if she must, and just either get on with the evening, or invent an excuse and get the fuck out of there. She should not, by any means, stay where she is, if she doesn’t want to come too close to her feelings. But Raina has always been bad at hearing her own advices. So, Raina stays.

“You trust me only skin-deep, tho.”

“And what’s the bad thing? Trust is still trust, I don’t trust many people even like that.”

“I trust you more than that.”

“And this is why I don’t go with girls all that much.” Bela sighs, heavily, turning her back and walking slowly to the head of the bed. “They always end up in wanting to paint our nails and braid hair as we gossip and confess the deepest darkest secrets of our life.” She goes on, sitting on the bed heavily and starting to unbuckle her boots, in nervous, jerky movements that betrays that if her tone may be controlled and measured, she really is not.

“I’m not asking you to paint my nails and tell me the story of your life.”

“As if.” One boot gets tossed on the floorboards, with a thud. “I don’t see why I should tell you every little thing that’s going on my mind.”

“Because we’re friends?”

“Varric is my friend, and yet I don’t tell him everything, why should I do it with you?”

“I think that I mean more for you than Varric, no?”

It’s out of her lips before Raina can really think about what it means, and it comes angry and suddenly, and followed by an instant, deep feel of regret and of knowing she just said the one thing she should never have said. The one thing Bela told her from the start she didn’t want.

More.

More than friends, more words Raina can’t stop vomiting at the other, months of emotional frustration spilling out suddenly against her will.

“I’m more for you, after… It’s been months of this, and I know you’ve not been seeing anyone else but me, lately. You asked me help with Castillion, not to I don’t know, Aveline in the City guard. Varric with his contacts. Fenris who’s a trained warrior. You asked me.” She points a finger at her chest, hurt, breath coming in ragged. She sees Isabela staring at her with a harsh bent on her lips and something cold in her eyes, and she knows she just lost the war. And yet, she can’t stop, even if she hears her voice growing into a desperate plea for acceptance, comprehension, compassion. “You were there when Mother… You came to pick me up. You rely on me as much as I rely on you, so…”  She throws her corset on the bed, harshly, and it lands right beside Bela’s hip, with little grace. “… So, forgive me if I want to know what’s going on to help a person that’s more than my friend.”

Silence falls in the room. A perfect, thick silence full of the nervous tension of uncertainty. Of a maybe that, if Raina just closes her eyes and pretended hard, could almost believe it would have ended up in a yes. She doesn’t want anything else: a yes, some compassion, some understanding and something to go well even if she burnt all steps and fucked up royally by saying the one thing she shouldn’t have said. When she opens her eyes, Bela is still there, considering her from the other side of the room, seemingly ten miles away, cold and harsh. If she can read the plead in Raina’s face, she doesn’t make any sign of it.

“Maybe I should go.”

Raina finally says, voice hoarse. What she really means was to ask her to please, please let her stay, don’t give reason to the panic I’m feeling.

“Maybe you should.”

---

The house is too quiet, and it is driving Raina crazy.

She walked up to High Town without waiting for her brother, and slammed the door on her way in. Nobody came to greet her. It’s late in the evening, she registers absent-mindedly, of course everyone’s asleep and not there to welcome her. And yet, there’s no one there for her, and it just makes her feel lonely, giving reasons to the voices in her head.

The vast majority of her mental space, indeed, is still over-fixating on the one, single thought that there is no compassion to be had for her. She has fucked up in the span of two days one of the closest friendships she has built, and every chance she ever got at ever getting somewhere with Bela.

If she could cry, it would all be easy.

She could slam the door, wallow in self-pity and concentrate on the ten different memories of her mother telling her that of course it ends like that. Of course everything is exploding in her hands. Her mother always told her that she couldn’t get anything in life, she had to come to compromises and slow down. There was a limit she couldn’t cross, no matter how much she bumped her head against it. Wishing for everything all at once would only end her up with nothing at all in her hands. Leandra told her, but Raina never listened, and now everything is, as the prophecy went, turning slowly into sand. First her family, now her friends.

She is left there with metaphorical sand in her hands, wishing she could cry and vent it out and be better in the morning.

And instead, no.

Instead, her eyes are dry, her heart is beating fast, drumming in her ears and making her restless, not able to settle down, not sleepy, too antsy to read. She could grab her daggers and start strolling around Kirkwall until a band of thugs finds her, but in that state, she knows she wouldn’t be much of a fight.

She fucked up, but she doesn’t particularly care for ending up so beaten that she won’t be able to walk. Particularly, she doesn’t want to be found hurt and brought to Anders. Not now, really.

So, she does the next best thing: knitting.

But she’s not good for knitting as well, right now. Too antsy for it, her hands just won’t cooperate. Her leg bouncing up and down quickly as she’s sitting on the very edge of the armchair really doesn’t help. What she can do is doing a row and undoing it because the tension was wobbly or she missed a loop or did one knot more when she didn’t mean to. Do another, and make more mistakes. On repeat. The more she makes mistakes, the more she grows frustrated, and the more she grows frustrated the more mistakes she makes.

In the end, she just tosses her work in progress in the basket with her yarns and needles with a vengeance, so hard that a couple of balls rolls out of said basket and tumble all the way across the pavement. She just missed that, honestly: she can’t leave them, or Beowoof will have the time of his life playing with the loose threads when Garret and him will be back, and she’s already growing late with First Day gifts, if she had to go back and buy the yarns of the right colours all over again, she won’t make it in time. So, she pads around her living room, collecting back everything and rolling loose yarn in its balls, when someone knocks on the door.

Her heart does a double leap.

Garrett won’t knock. Garrett has his key, and the hour has grown a little late for a casual visit.

An emergency.

At the same time, something she craves and loathes.

In doubt, she runs to the door and opens it.

She opens it, and there’s Merrill.

Merrill who starts to ramble, entering her foyer and starting to pace, and Raina has really not the heart to tell her that it’s a really, really bad moment. She has not the heart because in the well of self-commiseration she’s fallen into and is desperately trying not to drown in, Merrill has something she craves.

Merrill has compassion.

She tells her she admires her, presents her all her virtues on a silver plate, with eyes big and sincere. Raina almost can believe her. Almost. In another moment, maybe she could. Right now she desperately, desperately wants to believe her, but…

“Who’s the person you’re describing? I didn’t know I had a secret twin…”

It’s a joke, but Merrill doesn’t play on it. She just looks up at her, and blinks, puzzled.

“Why shouldn’t it be you?”

“I pride myself in being a human disaster and a mildly successful trash raccoon. Hardly as virtuous as you’re describing.”

“I like raccoons.” Merrill tells her, as if it was the most obvious thing in the whole world. “They’re very clever, won’t take no for an answer and will thrive in every condition.”

“You wouldn’t want one in your house, tho.”

“It wouldn’t be as nice as having a pet griffon… But why not. It’s not a bad thing as you make it, being a raccoon.” She smiles at her, shily, blushing hard as she continues. “I would like you even if you were a fluffy destructive animal, I would just find you something more resistant to play with and make you a nice bed full of pillows… well, if you wanted to stay with me, that is.”

She giggles nervously, looking down bashfully, all boldness in making such statements abandoning her.

It’s not the talk they should have. It’s really not the talk and Raina should, by all means, be a responsible person and talk things through, tell her of Isabela and of the fact that she has no idea where they stands. Now in particular. Tell her she liked the both of them but didn’t want to hurt her if it was a problem for her. Tell her, before it was too late and she did something stupid. Not yield to a moment of confusion and fragility and jumps at the first lifeline she’s shown.

But being presented with just a little bit of compassion and acceptance, by a person whom she respects greatly and has been admiring, and even some more since the last trip to Sundermount… It’s too much. She has been needing that same compassion in the last period, she had been needing that same compassion ever since her father died and she was left the black sheep of the family, and yet the one that kept the farm running and provided. She has needed that same compassion ever since her mother started to teaching her etiquette and found her lacking and riotous to learn, simply not interested, and refused to come to terms with her, forced her to learn and to keep her hair long.

Raina does the third stupid thing in three days. She surges forward and just takes that compassion, kissing Merrill intensely, without thinking.

She comes as close to crying as she could get when the elf, after a moment of surprise, kisses her back and hugs her neck with her arms, pressing herself closer.

If Raina’s impulsive, Merrill doesn’t mind. If she wants to run and burn steps, Merrill is there to agree and smile at her, as bright as she never saw her. Raina’s hesitating, and Merrill kisses her gently and whispers her soothing words, telling her that it’s ok if she wants to stop. They don’t need to do much of anything if she doesn’t want. The more compassion the mage shows, the more the rogue surges up to take. And take, and take. Her body is lithe under her hands, her fingers nimble, and Raina lets her take her by the hand and bring her forward to the bed and be dragged to climb upon her, and kisses her again.

For some time, she blissfully forgets everything else that’s not her lover, her friend, her definitely something more than that, melting and moving, losing herself in bare skin and a warm embrace, and almost believing she actually is the person she described before. She’s warm and she’s comfort and all that matter, right now, is a “yes” or a “no”. And it’s “yes” and “yes” all over again.

But, her memory catches her back. It catches her back when she rolls on her side to regain her breath, slowly, eyes closed and basking in the afterglow, head tucked under Merrill’s chin and hugging her close, so close to her, and who cares if they’re both sticky with sweat. She really doesn’t and could also doze off, as the elf’s hands are absent-mindedly caressing her shoulders, fingers tracing a couple of scars on her deltoid.

“I love you.”

Raina blinks her eyes open and freezes, all her memories catching back, as waking up after a dream. The panic raises up again, and she lays there, frozen in place, not knowing what to do or say.

“I… I probably shouldn’t have said that.” Merrill laughs, with embarrassment. “I always says the stupidest things…”

It would be a good moment to give back the same compassion she’s been reserved. It would be a good moment to come clean and explain. Merrill is not Anders, she’s not leaving her because the wrong word will send her spiralling down, and she is not Isabela, recoiling because it all needed to be just skin-deep. Merrill wants to stay and she wants more. And Raina is frozen in place with a thousand things she should have told her before stuck in her throat and making her breath too quick.

“I… You said nothing wrong.” She manages to spit.

And yet, she can’t stay there. She can’t keep up the ruse. Not with her, not if love is on the table. She breaks the embrace and sits up on the bed, propping herself up with both hands at her sides. She tries to breathe, but her breath won’t catch, and it’s not physical exhaustion, it’s not being spent and satisfied. Her diaphragm just refuses to work under her ribcage and she feels her heart in her throat, choking her.

“Venhan?” A voice asks from behind, a delicate hand is on her shoulder.

Raina has never felt guiltier in her own life, and that’s saying something.

“I… Shit-” Her heart is drumming in her ears and she can’t breathe. Her leg starts bouncing furiously as she struggles to get her lungs work and to breathe in enough air.

“Hawe, If I-”

“You did nothing wrong. Nothing.” She snaps, more brashly than she intended, but it’s important to tell her. Even if she can’t bring to look at the other. “I’m- It’s-”

Raina can’t stay there one minute more. Not with Merrill’s hand still on her shoulder, caressing it soothingly, yet again with some compassion she doesn’t deserve and she hates and- She must get out.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I-”

And maker, she is sorry. She is sorry and feels horrible when she basically jumps out of the bed, eyes scanning the pavement for the clothes she threw off before. She is disgusted of herself when she fishes her shirt and slips it on, without a breast band, without anything. There’s a pair of underthings she has not the mind to see if it’s hers before slipping them on, jumping on one foot as she’s headed to the doors. She hates herself when Merrill follows her and tries to make her stay, to make her reason, and with tears in her voice -she doesn’t turn to look at her but she knows she’s crying- begs her to please forgive her.

Forgive her, as if the disappointment, the delusion, was Merrill and not her.

Forgive her, as if the one in that room that constantly fucks up everything she touches was Merrill, and not her.

Raina doesn’t listen. Raina unlatches her door and runs, as fast as her leg could bring her, as fast as a self-fulfilled prophecy can run, down the stairs and out the living room and the foyer, outside in the streets still blissfully too empty at that early hour to spot Raina Hawke running desperately away in just a white shirt and underthings.

She doesn’t stop until she is back at the Hanged Man, banging on Varric’s door as if it was a question of life and death. It is, in a certain sense, and after her brother, the dwarf is as close as she got to family, when her family is destroyed and scattered against her own best efforts. When her family is destroyed and scattered because of her best efforts. And as she feels her group of friends crumbling because of her, because she is stupid and deserves no compassion, she couldn’t but take advantage of the one that still hasn’t realized.

When Varric opens the door, cursing and complaining that it is way too soon and he hopes it’s important, she just collapses on his floor on hands and knees and, as tears still won’t come up her eyes, screams, long and primal, as loud as her lungs could go.

The whole tavern wakes up, but she couldn’t care, still whimpering and trying desperately to have her body start breathing again, barely responsive when she was coaxed in moving some more inside, so the door could be closed.

There’s compassion in that room, a friendly hand caressing her back and some tea with honey when she’s finished screaming and her throat is raw and hurting. She takes it, grateful, groaning some more.

“Varric.” She tells him, after a sip.

“Yes, you forget your pants and I don’t think mine will fit you, you beanpole.”

“Don’t write this.”

He stays silent, frowning at her as if she just insulted him, his ancestors and Bianca. He doesn’t scold her, tho. Maybe the fact that she’s curled in a corner, half naked and not shivering in the cold just because he slipped a blanket over her shoulders, still crouched defensively down and looking like shit, maybe that’s what stops him. He just sighs and comes sitting with her, on the ground, ruffling her short cropped hair.

“I do have some principles, Hawke.” He grumbles, with affection. “They’re not that many, but there are some.”

“Thank you.”