#and i didn’t wanna make her go up like 2 flights of steps just to swipe her card at the door

[paperconsumption]

#locked out of the dorm

[criticsstuff]

Counting the seconds (Series)

Addison Montgomery x freader

Chapter 1: seconds

Words: 1444

Summary: Back in Seattle you’re not just dealing with a tumour, you met a amazing woman that is eventually going to change your life.

Warnings: in this chapter none but swearing, later I promise you smut, angst, cheating and more.

Updates: Weekly

A/n: This is my first fanfic and English is not my first language. I’m sry if something isn’t perfect. Anyway my first project will be a series obviously. I just thought I’m going to start with something big. And I’m open for requests ;)

Navigation Part2 Part 3 Part4

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Rain pooling down the drained window like the tears you kept in, now freely falling. Too long you were standing there, just staring at the wall, the floor, the ceiling. Funny isn’t it ? How fast time can run, chasing the long gone minutes.

Shit, I don’t wanna be late- you thought. You grabbed the few things you haven’t packed jet and stumbled out the door.Your flight to Seattle in 2 hours is leaving your throat dry. But to be totally honest you’re excited to see them again. Mer and Arizona were pushing you to visit them again. Yeah, anyway now you’re the one pushing with a tumour housing in your brain.

Lifting your large luggage off the ground and on the treadmill, to finally get checked in, is the last thing you do before you sit on the plane and lay your safety belt on. 6 hours feel long, so high above the ground. You’re not willing to stay awake the whole flight, so you shut your eyes, slowly drifting off as you hear the soft humming of the plane getting quieter.

****

After being undisturbed for almost the whole flight you finally wake up. The tall, slightly scary looking man sitting next to you, wasn’t too thrilled by the crying toddler a few seats ahead and decided to murmur and huff complaints in his beard. You use the left time to think about Seattle, to be more concrete you think about the people in Seattle, your people.

You haven’t seen them too often, after Derek died. It just hadn’t felt right to come and visit, you should’ve, now that you think about it. The distance being so short, makes you miss them even more. But this time you visit not just as a friend, you’re a patient. The word never scared you -patient- it sounds so small. Now you’re the patient and it scares the hell out of you. Why?

The plane is about to land and you’re about to see your friends. Stepping of the plane, you lift your head and take a deep breath , inhaling the fresh air seeping trough your lungs. It feels okay to be back, maybe even great.

You pick up your luggage and leave the airport to get a taxi. You already talked to Meredith about your visit and she gladly offered you to crash at her house. Not wanting to spend your first day back in some random hotel, you accepted thankful .

The ride was calm and you thought about ways to don’t make the reunion awkward. You couldn’t blame Mer to be mad. You just left and barely even called. As the taxi neared the location you couldn’t shake off the nervousness climbing up your throat. Too long you were gone, too long you missed mer.

You paid the taxi driver and left the car, headed to her front door, gulping down a not exisiting knot. You counted the steps you made and took one last long breath before you knocked. It didn’t took long for the blonde women to walk down the stairs, straight to the door.

She looked at you, she nearly stabbed you with her sharp stare. Probably you would’ve end up running if she hadn’t stopped looking at you like that . Instead of the nearly cold stare she offered you one of her smiles. „Well, look who decided to actually visit.“ she grinned at you, taking your wrists pulling you in a warm embrace. „I missed you.“ you murmured in her hair hugging her even tighter.

„No need to strangle me!“ she laughed pushing you inside. „You can have your old room back.“ she said practically dragging you and your luggage up the stairs. You missed this. You couldn’t wait to see the others. „I will probably spend the whole time in the hospital.“ you mentioned tapping on your head. To point out the thing with the tumour chilling in your brain.

„Yeah, probably.“ she whispered turning around to look at you. You just looked at each other sharing unspoken words. You were both scared, even if you wouldn’t say it out loud. You shake your head trying to throw the odd feeling away.

„Anyway, today is the day. So hospital is my next stop, do you mind coming with me later?“ you asked trying to lighten the mood. „Of course, I have a shift later so it’s perfect. How about we two catch up ?“ she ask throwing herself on your bed. You smiled, laying next to her.

****

There you were, walking trough the hallways of the grey Sloan memorial hospital, with Mer on your left and Arizona on your right side. In every step you made, laid fear. Would you walk out again? Would you survive? You were promised on of the greatest neurosurgeons, one that ist going to help you. And hopefully save you.

„Here we are. You can settle in and Dr. Shepherd will be here in a bit.“ Arizona told you smiling. „Thank you, see you two later.“ you said reaching your bed and laying your stuff on it. They walked out, looking happy to have you again, even as a patient.

You took your clothes and put them in your wardrobe, feeling kinda weird. Obviously you aren’t used to live in a hospital. Finished with organizing your things you sat on the bed, staring at your hands. Damm it, why would you of all people get a tumour?

Clicking heels break your thoughts, urging you to look up. A woman with dark long hair walked in, smiling , with a nervous looking man by her side. “Hello there. Deluca would you mind presenting?”she questioned even if it wasn’t a question. “But make it simple.” you said, not wanting to hear more than needed.

He nodded “ 28, female, with a tumour in her head. Here for a final removal of the tumour.” presented the young man fast, holding your chart in his hands. “So Y/N the plan is that I will observe your tumour over the next couple of days. We will make daily tests to make sure we don’t miss anything and after that you can say your final goodbyes to the tumour.“ Dr Shepherd told you looking at the charts.

„Sounds good“ you said trying to smile not really happy with your long stay at the hospital. „Can you change, I would like to do a Ct.“ she added, looking at you with kind eyes.

****

After spending two days in the hospital, you got bored staying in your room all day. Deciding to stop sulking around you got up and found things to do. Currently walking down the hallway with Mer, to kill your boredom, you saw her.

Orange locks effortlessly laying on her shoulders, confidence laying in her step as she made her way towards you. Addison Montgomery, yeah you knew her. Well you never really talked but, the beautiful woman was well known across your friends. You stopped, not daring to come one step near her. So as she stopped in front of you and Mer, piercing right trough you with her daring eyes, she knocked your breath right out of you.

„Hey, Addison“ Mer smiled at her. But Addison was still looking at you tilting her head with a curious smile. „And you are?“ she questioned. You couldn’t stop looking at her, she was literally perfect. She raised her eyebrows, wondering why you wouldn’t answer. „That’s Y/N, you might have seen her before. She is a really good friend of mine.“ Meredith answered for you, chuckling at your loss of words. At that you took your self together trying to get at least one word out, not wanting to look like a complete fool. „What she said.“ you said looking anywhere but at her.

Addison smiled clearly amused by the strange behaviour you showed. „What are you two up to?“ she asked still smiling, lifting her hand to push a strand of hair out of her face. „Walking.“ was all you said trying to find a way to leave this conversation as fast as possible. „Yeah, I see that.” she remarked holding her laughter back. „Y/n here, is bored so she forced me to go on a hospital walk with her.” Mer mentioned looking at you, acting annoyed to tease you. „How about you go on walk with Y/n ? I’m sure she wants to get to know you.” she asked Addison, clearly trying to kill you.

Before anyone could say a word, you turned around. „You know what, I forgot I’m pretty busy dealing with my tumour. I have to go!” you announced, already running of. Leaving the two women stunned behind.

[imkillerbae]

Would you do a sequel in plush drama? I feel you are talented at long stories ❤️

Snap Drama (Valorant Yoru x Reader) (Plush Drama pt 2)

Summary: You file a leave and you miss Yoru so you send him a snap.

Word count: 3.5k

CW: Fluff, Fem!Reader, Phoenix, Jett and Neon slander, crab talk, mentions of celebrities I dont know)

Art is also by me

The windows were left open, the midnight air was cold as it blew against your curtains. The stars were bright against the indigo sky, and you stared at them quietly, hugging your black cat plush against your chest.

You were on leave from the VP, currently residing in your home with your family. And while you enjoyed the time you had with the folks, you couldn’t help but wonder how everyone was in HQ. Especially Yoru.

When your leave papers were signed, he was away for a mission and wouldn’t be back until further notice. You didn’t know why, but you felt bad leaving without saying goodbye properly.

With a heavy heart, you packed lightly for the trip. But you didn’t forget to pack Yoru Jr. with you, since you didn’t wanna feel lonely in the plane. And during the flight, you itched to send him a text, or call him. It’s not like you needed to tell him any of this. But it just felt wrong not to. You shook the thoughts away: you can’t jeopardize his mission just so you could update him about something he may not even be interested in knowing.

It was a week after you left that he got back from the mission with Sage, Sova and Reyna. He was jetlagged, hungry, and aching in places he shouldn’t be. But all he wanted to do as he stepped down the Vulture was to give you this keychain he bought from Bangkok, a trinket he managed to snag with limited time.

His brows knit together as his eyes roamed the field, the agents coming to greet them, but there was no sign of you anywhere. He grits his teeth as he approached Phoenix. “Aye, man! You don’t look too hot,” he laughs, doing their handshake. “Yeah, and? I’ll get patched up later.” He replies curtly, brushing the dust off his jacket, looking around as covertly as he could, hoping that you were just late or something.

“Whatcha looking for?” Phoenix asks, also looking around. Yoru’s eye twitches in annoyance but he shakes his head. “No one. Doesn’t matter.” With that reply, Phoenix quirks an eyebrow before smirking. “Ah, I see how it is,” he smiles widely, elbowing Yoru. “If you’re looking for Y/N, she’s on leave. I’m surprised you didn’t know?”

Yoru raises a brow. He knew about your scheduled leave, but he thought that it would be approved later than anticipated. He gripped on the keychain he held inside his fist. “Wasn’t looking for anyone,” he shrugs, but winces at the aching on his arm.

It was Phoenix’s time to raise a brow. “Is that right? Say that again, and I’ll believe you,” he laughs, shaking his head. Phoenix found it funny how hard his best friend tried to hide how much he liked you, and yet everyone could see how enamored he was. But no one wants to play cupid unless they wanted a bullet through their stomach, curtesy of Yoru.

Except for Phoenix of course. He had the balls to play with fire.

Yoru hissed at him and his teasing, huffing. “I don’t have time for your nonsense right now Phoenix. Go unpack or someshit. Make yourself useful,” he rolls his eyes, pulling the jacket off him. With the soreness he had, it was getting heavy. “Oh, but am I really talking nonsense?” He jokes, snagging the keychain from Yoru’s grip by the loop, spinning it around his fingertips. “Another knickknack huh? If you keep being such a chicken, she’s gonna have enough shit for a yard sale.”

Yoru blushed, blood rushing from his neck. After his first move of giving you that cat plush, he’s been building up the courage to give you something a little more overt with his intentions. His intentions being along the lines of ‘I like you and I want to spoil you’. “What the fuck are you on about? T-that’s not for her. I just found that lying around some place,” he defended, too tired to retrieve the thing from Phoenix.

“Oh yeah? I’ll keep it then if it isn’t too important. That alright with you?” Phoenix challenged, reaching his hand out, the hoop of the keychain dangling on his fingertips. With a smug grin, he jingles it, mocking Yoru as he tried his best to look disinterested; his red face giving him away. “Doudemo ii. It’s trash anyway,” he grumbled and rolled his eyes, walking towards the HQ entrance, bumping his shoulders against Phoenix in annoyance.

“You know, you gotta make up a better excuse than ‘I found it some place,’ she’s not some lost and found box!” Phoenix calls out, and Yoru’s eye twitches as he turns around to give Phoenix the middle finger. Why was he a million times more annoying today? And why did he have to meddle so much?

But as much as he hated what Phoenix said, he was right. He needed to make up a more sensible excuse; he can’t just keep giving you stuff and hope the message comes across clearly. He needed to make a move.

But that’s easier said than done. Actually, it’s not easy saying it either.

Recently, anytime he’s talked to you, his brain would lag, trying to form the right sentences. It wasn’t like him to be so careful with his words, being known to be quite the opposite. But with you, he found himself wanting to be more sincere. Unfortunately for him, that wasn’t his style, so he just ends up being quiet. He never stuttered, and yet you always had him too stunned to speak.

When he stumbles on his words, he gets so mad at himself that he distances himself from you sometimes. He always thought of himself as a confident man, egotistic even. And yet you were able to stun him with just a smile. And when you say his name, oh god. He found it so cute, his heart clenches at the sound. Why was he so bad at communicating his feelings?

After a trip to the infirmary, a relaxing bath and a long nap, he was well rested. Unfortunately, this resulted in him not being able to fall asleep at night time. A warm towel was propped on his neck, his hair down from its updo. He sat on his chair, propping one leg up. He stared at himself in the mirror, eyes narrowed. He was annoyed with himself and his inability to communicate properly beyond the battlefield. It was frustrating. He could tell how confused you were with his mixed signals, and he was trying his best to set himself straight.

He looked at his phone and thought of you. Somehow he wanted to overcompensate and send you a text. He just wanted to talk to you and not fuck up. Unbeknownst to him, you felt the same way.

It was already late at night and yet you still wanted to text him. You wanted to know how he was, how his mission ended, and tell him sorry that you weren’t able to meet before you left. Fuck it, I can’t take this anymore, you thought to yourself. Yoru was brave enough to hand you gifts, you should be brave enough to send a text.

But what text should I send?

Picking up the phone was the easy part. Typing down words seemed daunting. You scratch your head, biting your lip. Plus, where do you even send it? You wouldn’t be caught dead sending anyone flirty messages in VAL-SECURE. Scrolling through your apps, you see Snap. Perfect. You should send him a photo!

But of what?

God this was getting more complicated than it needs to be. Your palms sweat as you stare at yourself in the screen. It would be too forward sending a selfie out of nowhere. You look around and see your plush, and ding! An idea comes to mind. You send a picture of the cat instead and captioned it with a ‘hi :>’

As soon as you saw that the message was sent, you threw your phone to the bed and stared off into the distance. The act of spontaneity hitting you like a brick wall.

You sent the Kiritani Ryo a fucking Snap.

It’s not like you’ve never texted each other before, but it was mostly just updates about the protocol or missed mission details. But this was Snapchat. You didn’t even know if he used that. You knew he had social media but never posted anything, only using it to check on others or troll Phoenix.

Out of nervousness, you hug the poor cat plush. You reminded yourself that it was already late, and he may not even reply. You felt a pang of comfort then sadness at that fact. Much to your chagrin, you see the light of your phone pulse. A notification. You look at the phone, mortified.

Shit.

Yoru on the other hand stared blankly at the photo you sent, finding himself too stunned to act on it initially. Blood rushes from his neck to his face, his ears almost steaming as he stared closely at the picture. He felt his heart clench. It was… so cute…

Even if you weren’t in the photo, he found it adorable that you brought the plush with you. He also couldn’t help but imagine you in bed with your pyjamas, lying down as you send the cute picture. He rubs his forehead with his free hand, baffled and in awe. It took him a few moments to register the fact that he had to reply something.

Looking at himself at the mirror, his brows raise. He checked himself on all angles and smirked to himself. His hair wasn’t done up but he looked good regardless, something he took pride in.

But as soon as he opened the camera, a blush crept up his cheeks.

He was sending YOU a fucking SELFIE at 12 AM.

Anytime he tried to get a good photo of himself, the blush was very evident. He tried every good angle, but he couldn’t hide how flustered he was. God, you got him taking selfies at 2AM. He didn’t even like taking photos of himself!

Out of desperation, he instead sends a photo of half of his face. He captioned it with a simple ‘hey.’ Fuck it.

After it sent, he froze in his seat, his face red like a tomato. He was screaming angrily at himself on the inside for that horrible angle but not a sound left his lips. He sat the phone down on his lap, pulling out his comb and combing his hair in panic.

It was laughable how easily you’d turn this narcissistic and egocentric jerk into the most self-conscious and shy person ever.

Seeing the photo on your end, you gasp and squeal. You bit your lip, trying to drown down your excitement. You saved the photo and smiled. He was so adorable. You didn’t expect him to send you anything of this sort. Breathing in, you prepare to reply.

> Lol why are u still awake? You chat, then holding down the phone to your chest. Surprisingly, he replied rather quickly this time.

>> I could ask you the same thing. You laugh to yourself. The way he chats is similar to the way he talks; blunt and dry.

> Couldn’t sleep. Thought I’d bother you for a bit. You replied honestly.

He stares at your last message for a little while. He smiled a little to himself, the last sentence sending butterflies to his stomach. On your end, it seemed he was typing out something long, but you were dismayed to see his actual reply.

>> Oh.

Oh. What could he mean by that? You sat there for a bit, thinking about what to reply. You were starting to think this was a bad idea, sending him a text knowing damn well he was tired from the mission. Maybe he wasn’t in the moo—

>> How are you holding up there

Your eyes widened as he sent another message.

> It’s fun for the most part. Got to hang out with family. Hard dodging questions about my *job*

> But it does get a bit boring sometimes. There’s not much to do around here.

> How about you? How was your mission btw

As you sent your replies, he patiently waits for you to finish your thought. It takes a while for him to reply, thinking carefully about what to say. Although he is a bit glad that his brain doesn’t lag as much through text.

>> You brought the plush huh

That was all he replied after a long while. You pout as he dodged the question.

>> I hope he’s good company when you’re bored.

He was really happy to see that you brought the cat with you. It gave him a bit of an ego boost. But he’d never tell that to you.

> Oh yeah, he is. I was scared of missing the VP so I thought I’d bring a piece of it along with me.

2 minutes pass.

>> that’s good.

>> nothing too exciting about the mission. Bangkok has pretty good food. We kicked ass. The usual.

>> I got you a keychain but one direction took it for himself.

> Did you just call phoenix… one direction????????????

>> He’s a brit and he sings. Makes sense.

> you cant just call him that😭

>> better yet: No Direction. Because his aim is shit and he’s a fucking idiot.

> OMG😭😭😭

> what does that make Neon👀

>> idk. Imitation lea salonga maybe

>> kinda like imitation crab. It’s good but not quite the same with the real thing

>> had to look up filipino singers for that one idk any

> mans really comparing neon to a crab😭😭😭

>> correction: lea salonga crab. This isn’t some normal crustacean.

>> it’s got the karaoke buff

> hahahaha!😭

While you laugh at his silly remarks, Yoru on the other hand was sweating in his seat, his hoodie suddenly feeling a lot heavier.

Since when did he get so chatty?

He was trying so hard to be funny, it was pathetic.All he needed now was to smear lipstick on his nose and he’d be a fully fledged clown. He sighs and gets out of his room, walking to the rooftop for some air.

> To be fair, Neon’s hairdo does look like crab pincers.

>> ?

> YOU PLANTED IT IN MY BRAIN

> Now I cannot *unsea*

> badum tss

> hehe

>> wow

>> im blocking you now.

> No pls

>> beg

> WTF😭

He smiles absentmindedly as his legs guided him up the rooftop. His hoodie did enough to shield him from the cold night air, the mellow moonlight illuminating his steps. His hair flows with the breeze from the ocean, and he could see the stars vividly. The HQ was isolated from the world in an island, which made the sky all the more clear. He stood in front of the low railing and propped a foot up on it, taking a lighter and lighting up a cigarette. He huffs out smoke which was immediately blown away behind him.

> hey

> is it okay if I call?

He stares at the message for a moment, his heart clenching again. He looks around nervously, gritting his teeth. He’d love to, but he might fuck his words up. His foot taps impatiently against the concrete floor, trying to decide how to reply.

> or not

> it’s okay if not

Seeing that, he presses the call button out of impulse. Pressing the phone against his cheek, he waits for you to answer.

You jumped when your phone started ringing, with his face plastered over the screen. You blushed, your spontaneity paying off. Clearing your throat, you breathe out through your mouth. Pressing the answer icon, you smiled.

“Hey,” he says through the phone, blowing out smoke. “Hi,” you squeak, lying on your side with the plush to your chest. “I almost thought it wasn’t you sending those messages,” you laugh, and he jerks an eyebrow upward. “How so?” He asks curiously, sitting down on the concrete, his back to the moonlight.

“Well, you’re not exactly the type to use social media often, let alone snap.”

“That depends heavily on who tries to reach me.”

He could hear your slow breaths, and your voice sent tingles up his spine. He loved the way you spoke. He could listen to you talk all night. “So you’d be okay with me sending you messages sometimes then?” You ask with a large smile, and he huffs out smoke before replying. “Anytime,” he replies bluntly.

Write me a novella if you’d like. I’ll be your biggest fan.

He hears you laugh, and the butterflies in his stomach rage. “Why does it sound so windy there?” You ask him curiously, turning on your other side.

“I’m in the rooftop.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Smoking.”

You raised a brow, then your eyes narrow. “Huh, I didn’t know you smoked.” You pout a bit as you said that, and as if he saw it, he purses his lips. “Only when I’m nervous,” he says in defense, biting the cigarette slightly. “Why would you be nervous haha,” you chuckled.

“Hn. You could say you have that effect on me,” he admits honestly, blushing lightly. There was no point lying about that. You also blush at that remark. You didn’t understand the whole meaning of it but it was enough to make you grin like an idiot.

“It was unfortunate that I left without saying bye properly to you… a-and Sage and the rest. I was wondering what souvenir you’d like to have?” You ask, your socked feet rubbing together in anticipation. He’s silent for a moment, staring at his shadow.

“Make it up to me by getting back here safely.” And soon, he thought.

“What, you miss me already?” You teased, and he chuckles.

“Hm. You could say that.” He replies after a bit of silence.

“Admittedly, the whole place seems a lot duller than usual whenever you’re not around. Even Joon-he’s big mouth can’t liven the whole place up.” He adds. He remembered how his heart dropped when he didn’t see you waiting for him when he got back.

“Really? Phoenix not giving you enough headaches to keep you entertained?”

“Oh, plenty. He’s even more annoying today. He took my fucking keychain, that bitch.”

You laugh as he spoke about his best friend, the protocol, the mission, while you told him about your day, the constellations, Jett’s secret stash of kimchi, and everything else under the moon. All your drowsiness left your body as you talked the night away, your conversation lasting for hours. Even if his seat was uncomfortable, he was happy to be on the rooftop just listening to you rant about the randomest things. This is the first time in a while you’ve both talked this deeply. Ever since he realized he liked you, it got hard for him to talk to you this way. Who knew that all it took was for you to make the first move.

As you talked, he noticed that dawn was coming soon, and it was getting early already. He didn’t feel sleepy, but he could hear you yawn every now and then. As much as he wanted to keep talking, he didn’t want to get you too tired.

“You should sleep.” He says, standing up and dusting his pants. He looks at the moon, still bright in the sky. “Yeah, I know,” you yawned, huffing. “How long has it been? 3 hours?” You chuckled, looking at your clock.

“Yeah. Sumanai, I shouldn’t have kept you up too late.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I enjoy talking to you. You were the highlight of my night… and morning I guess.”

“Hm.” He blushed, looking at the moon. It gave him butterflies knowing you were both looking at the same thing, even though you were miles away from each other. “Go to sleep.” He suggests, and out of drowsiness, you nod in response. “Good night Ryo,” you smile, closing your eyes.

He doesn’t drop the call yet, hesitating. “Hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“I forgot to say something.”

“What is it?”

“Suki da. Oyasumi.”

He then turns the call off, leaving you a bit confused. What did he say? Oh god, he was gonna be so mad if he found out you were too sleepy to understand anything right now. You were gonna have to ask him what the hell he said later, but right now, you needed to sleep.

Yoru on the other hand stared at the sunrise peeking through the clouds. He watched as the sky turned from blue to orange, the ocean waves fiercer than hours before. The wind was cold, but his heart and stomach felt warm and giddy. He doesn’t know whether you heard him or not, but that doesn’t matter.

All that matters is that he meant it.

[bobathirstaccount]

AU - Business Trip Pt 1

You meet the new sales exec at a company offsite…

Boba x fem!reader, no smut (yet), slow burn multi-part

***

No one in your row could get their seat right. Everyone had crawled over everyone else by the time the flight was nearing take off. Exasperated, you heard a baby start crying behind you. Great, you thought, looking around. What else was going to go wrong?

A handsome older man caught your eye. Your mouth opened slightly, wow, you thought. At least the trip wasn’t all bad. But then he sat down, and was blocked from view. The baby wailed behind you. Nuts.

***

You fell backwards into your hotel bed. The flight had been excruciating, the shuttle to the hotel had been crowded, and now your room was full of absolute silence. You sighed, happy for a brief respite before heading to your first corporate event: dinner.

You sighed and closed your eyes. It was good to have a nice break before jumping into something so social. After a minute or so, you sat up. Showtime. You glanced in the mirror to check your outfit. Casual but not overly so. You decided to go with it.

You took the elevator down 2 floors to the grand lobby area. Nervously, you found your way to the conference room, where dinner was being held. Your eyes darted around for someone familiar. Although you had been at the company for a respectable amount of time, it was all remote work. So the faces you knew were limited.

Your face lit up; a coworker you knew well. You hustled over to her.

***

”So, you’re not going to go get a third dessert, are you really?” You were amazed at your coworker’s ability to eat sweets. She winked at you, “Don’t you worry about me, darlin’. I’m a pro at dessert-eating.” She popped up and hurried to the dessert table, hoping to grab one of the remaining pieces of apple pie. Your eyes followed her, somewhat interested but mostly just to have something to do. You didn’t really know anyone else at the table. Suddenly, you dropped your spoon. It drew a few stares.

You apologized and cleaned up your area. Then you scanned for what had surprised you. It was the hot guy from the plane! You were shocked. Was he a new hire? Where did he come from? You couldn’t remember seeing mention of him anywhere. You were scanning faces when your friend returned, triumphant with a piece of pie.

“What’s got you worked up? You look somewhat alarmed, babe,” she commented as she stuffed her face. You shook your head. “Nuthin’ just scanning for familiar faces. Not too many.”

“Mm, well,” she wiped her face, “makes sense. Our department is small, and I know two of us are flying in later tonight. So, we’re repping for everyone up in this joint.”

You smiled wryly. Then you realized you were just sitting. You were done eating. You turned to your buddy, “Well, think I’m going to head up and shower. We’ve got an early start tomorrow, and I wanna be ready for it. I think it’ll be a looong day.”

She nodded, “Good on ya. I’ll be doing the same shortly. See ya tomorrow.” She nodded goodbye as you collected your sweater and phone.

***

Stepping out of the shower, you thought about Hot Guy again. You decided to do a bit of light research. Wrapping yourself in a towel, you grabbed your phone and opened LinkedIn. You searched your connections. Finally you found your coworker in recruiting. He always posted new hires with a congrats and small bio. You clicked into his page and started skimming.

You stopped scrolling abruptly. Your heart leapt a little bit. You’d found him. Name, Boba Fett, position Director of Sales, Government. Ooh, you thought, fancy.

You skimmed his bio. It mentioned an impressive work history, but nothing about him personally. That was unusual; typically a few facts, like number of kids, or hometown, was brought up. But nothing for him. Hm.

You set your phone aside. Well, Boba, you thought, You’re hot stuff. Mysterious hot stuff. You wiggled your toes as you thought about him. You decided to finish getting ready for sleep and let it go.

Slipping into bed, you again thought of him. You hoped you’d get to chat him up a bit, if only to hear what his voice sounded like. You fell asleep wondering if his voice was as sexy as he was.

***

”So, you’re in finance?” You were being addressed by a product PM. You didn’t know him and got the distinct impression that you didn’t want to.

“Uh, yeah,” you looked past him at your coworker, trying to catch his eye. No luck. You were stuck in this conversation.

“So what do you do all day?” He asked, leaning towards you. Annoyed, you took a step back.

“Spreadsheets,” you intoned.

“Hm, so like —“

“Excuse me, I wanted to talk to someone in finance about getting my corporate credit card set up,” a rumbly voice sounded from your right. Relieved, you turned towards the sultry voice. It was Hot Guy - er Boba, you corrected yourself mentally.

“Oh,” you stammered.


“Is now a bad time?” He seemed to be about to step away.

“Oh, oh no; now’s great,” you blurted out. You turned back to the PM, “Well, duty calls, bye.” You tilted your head towards a quieter corner of the room. Some comfy looking chairs were available. You led the way to a pair of cushy chairs.

“So, did you put in your request already?” You asked as soon as you were both seated.

“…no.. I dunno what I’m supposed to do,” he seemed sheepish.

“Haha, no worries. I can help you.” You grabbed your phone, “What’s your work email, I’ll send you the form to complete. Once you do that, we’ll get a credit limit assigned and the card issued in 3 -5 business days.”

“Cool,” he said simply. When you were ready, he provided his work email. You sent the form deftly and put your phone away. “Now what?” You asked, curious.

“Well, you could go back to your conversation with that guy, but you looked kinda put out.” He shrugged, expression neutral.

“Oh, it was terrible, please don’t make me go back over there,” you murmured.

He smiled mischievously. “Well in that case, you wanna take a turn around the courtyard with me? I’m new; I could use some help understanding the organization and stuff…”

You smiled. Time with Hot Guy. Okay. “Sure,” you tried to sound supremely casual. The two of you stood in unison and headed towards the courtyard together.

Once outside, you realized you were chilly. Your light sweater wasn’t enough for the cool spring air.

“You want my jacket? Its a bit chilly out here…” he offered his green jacket to you.

Smiling, you thanked him and draped it over your shoulders. Instant warmth. You were happy.

“So, what do you want to know about?” You walked at an easy pace next to him.

“Oh, whatever. Whatever you think is important and would help me.” His tone was a casual purr. It drove you crazy.

You chatted about purchase orders, contract renewals, sales forecasting, more things than you could remember. By the time a lull in the conversation had developed, you had lapped the courtyard twice.

“Well, thanks, that’s all super helpful,” Boba purred. You tried not to lean into his space.

“S-sure, no problem. I’m always happy to help, so don’t be a stranger,” you played it Real Cool.

Turning inside, you returned to the event.

***

Your work phone pinged. Strange, you thought. It was 9:30 at night; all the corporate events were over and you were winding down for the evening.

Checking it, your eyes widened slightly. It was Hot Guy. Er, Boba.

-i was wondering if you would sit w me at breakfast tomorrow. i had some questions about sales forecasting

You grinned.

-sure np. what time u showing up?

His reply was immediate.

-oh like 8…is that cool

You smiled. Perfect.

-yea see u then

You put your phone down. Wow. A breakfast ‘date.’ This conference was looking up.

Smiling to yourself, you fell into your comfy hotel bed and snuggled into the million pillows.

***

”So, how was your breakfast date? I saw you two over there this morning….” Your friend popped a cherry tomato into her mouth.

“Oh. Good, he was curious about sales forecasting.”

“Bet he was.” She was acting like she knew secret.

Annoyed, you bumped her lightly with your elbow. “Hey, we’re on a business trip, remember.”

“Do you know how many people end up fucking on said trips?” She lowered her voice slightly.

“Omygosh, don’t even go there,” you murmured.

“Why; he’s super attractive and clearly into you… why else would he want to talk about forecasting at 8am?”

You blinked. Hm. Interesting point. But. “Well, he’s new and he is a sales exec. It tracks.” You shook your head dismissively.

“Okay, sure, Jan,” she referenced the Brady Bunch meme. You laughed, but shushed her all the same.

***

You sighed; the current speaker had been droning on about sales for over an hour. It was interesting, but in small chunks. This was not a small chunk. You searched the backs of heads, looking for Boba. Hot Guy, you thought to yourself, smiling.

You found him. He was right at the front, with the rest of the sales team. Makes sense, you thought. You considered dinner. Could you weasel a way to sit with him again?

***

You plopped down at the unofficial finance table. Everyone from your team had circled around this table, and were eating mostly silently. It’d been a long, tiring day and your bunch was introverted anyway. Content, you started to dine.

You heard raucous laughter and looked towards it. The sales table, you realized. Boba was in the center of it, laughing and saying something to a pretty blonde. You glowered, but let it go because that emotion was Crazy. You turned back to your meal. You caught your friend’s eye - she gave you a knowing, mischievous look. You smiled but returned to eating.

***

”Is this seat taken?” Your thoughts were interrupted by a familiar purr. You looked up. Boba. You smiled. “Nope, feel free…”

He sat, pulling the chair slightly closer to you as he did. You wondered about that. But you asked, “So how has meeting your team in person been?”

”Good. A lot, but good. They’re a nice, rowdy bunch.” He shrugged casually. You tried not to get lost in his eyes, but it was difficult. After a moment, you added, “Oh.”

He grinned. “Well, you guys at this table are a breath of fresh air; I’m a little less extroverted than that gang.” He motioned towards his team, who were still going at it.

You huffed a quiet laugh. “Weeelll over here there’s plenty introversion to spare.”

He grinned. “So,” he got more comfortable in his chair, “when do you fly out?”

”Oh, Friday kinda midday.” The conference was still going strong, so you were surprised by his question.

“Oh, me too. I wonder if we’re on the same flight,” he said somewhat mysteriously.

“Mmm well where you headed?” You were curious.

“SF.”

“Me too!”You tried not to sound so exuberant, but it was too late. “Uh, I mean me, too. You live in SF?”

”Yeah, well, nearby. La Honda.”

Ohhh. Expensive, you thought.

“Wow, we’re so close to each other,” you commented, “I’m in Santa Cruz.”

“What a nice area; I love Santa Cruz,” he scooted towards you slightly.


You snorted, “You speak as if La Honda was not beautiful as all hell.”

“It is, but it doesn’t have the ocean as nearby like SC.”

“True.” You considered carefully before speaking, “We could meet up for lunch or something next time you’re down there.”

”I’d like that.” He leaned towards you a very little bit more.

Giddy, you smiled wide. Too wide. But you couldn’t help it.

“Wanna… go for another walk?” He asked, voice a low scratchy purr.

“Yep,” you put your utensils down. “I’m done eating, anyway.”

He raised an eyebrow, “I can wait…”

“No no, let’s go,” you stood, feeling a bit dramatic.

He quickly stood and the two of you headed out to lap the courtyard again. When you were outside, he offered his jacket again. It was a very little bit chilly and you still hadn’t had the presence of mind to grab something heavier from your luggage.

“Thank you,” you draped it over yourself again. As you walked, he started to ask you personal questions. Not too personal, but they weren’t about work either.

You happily chatted about yourself, asking him questions about himself periodically. You finally gleaned he lived alone. Alone, you thought. Interesting.

“So, what are you doing for the rest of the evening?” You tried to sound casual. The day’s events were over, but it was only 7:30PM. You had about an hour until you crashed.

“Nothing.” He didn’t offer anything else.

You ventured, “Well, there’s a bar here in the hotel.”

He raised an eyebrow at you, “You wanna drink at a corporate event?”

You shrugged, feeling silly.

“I’m 100% down,” he said, looping your arm into his. “Let’s go.” He escorted you to the bar.

The red lighting was low, almost seductive. You gulped. Was this too much? It was too late now.

Boba pulled a barstool out for you. You sat, returning his jacket as you did. It was almost hot in here, you thought. He slipped it over the back of his chair and sat. The bartender, a bored younger woman, was waiting for you.

“Ladies first,” Boba turned to you.


Caught by surprise, you stuttered, “Well, uh, Campari and soda.” You’d had this before. It was drinkable.

Boba ordered a whiskey on the rocks. You smiled. It suited him, you thought. You said so. He smiled and shrugged, “Guess so.”

“So, what do you think of the conference so far?” He scooted closer to you again. You knees almost touched.

“Well, I think it coulda been virtual…”

Boba laughed, “Yea? You don’t wanna meet your coworkers in person? Make sure they’re three dimensional?”

You smiled, feeling a little shy. “Well, it’s been nice meeting you.”

“Same,” he leaned towards you a bit, “wanna try my drink? It’s really good whiskey.”

Enamored, you took a sip. “Ooh, well I’m glad you like it.”

Boba gave an easy laugh. He took his beverage back from you, your fingers touching in the process. Electricity shot through your hand to your torso. Your stomach flip flopped and you felt a little… hot between your legs. You crossed them in a lady-like fashion. If he noticed, he didn’t act like it.

Sipping your drink, you decided on your next conversation topic. “So, uh, what time you getting to the airport Friday? Maybe we can take the same shuttle.”

“Mmm, I like to be early. Like, 2 and half hours early probably.”

”Me too. So we’ll meet up at the hotel entrance.”

He seemed surprised, but only said, “Sure. Sounds good.” After a moment, he added, “Give me your cell; I’ll text you when I’m ready, and we’ll meet.”

You smiled. Perfect. You gave him your digits, knowing it was only a matter of time before you had his. He put his phone away. The drinks were gone.
“Well, I’d say let’s keep going, but it’s 9:30 and we gotta be ready by 9am to sit through another day. Let me walk you to your room.”

Giddy, you agreed. “‘Kay.”

***

After a quick elevator ride you were at your floor, “Here we are…”

You let him lead you out and into the hallway. You took over when you remembered he had no idea which room was yours.

You walked slowly, not wanting your time to come to an end. But finally you were in front of your door. He released your arm gently. “Well, see you tomorrow,” he said softly.

It might’ve been the alcohol, but you swore he leaned in for a moment before backing off. “See yah,” you said as you swiped your keycard. When the door closed behind you, you ran to your bed and flopped onto it. Thinking about Boba, you sighed. You were totally interested. Was he? Was it okay if you both were? You were adults. It was fine, you decided. So the only question was, what was your next move?

[thmgau]

CHAPTER 5 - BANANA MAYHEM [wattpad link]

---

“Never thought I’d be breaking into a banana restaurant, but here we are.”

Cherry pulled their van up to the parking lot of Banana Man’s Banana Land. They had waited in Leslie’s apartment beforehand until the restaurant closed, so it was dark out now. She & Leslie exited the car & approached the entrance.

“Alright! We’re here! What do we do now?” Leslie asked. “Watch & learn, my friend.” Cherry grinned, taking out a bobby pin. “The door’s made of glass, so we could just break it open, but that would be too obvious. Lockpicking is the way to go.”

She stuck the bobby pin into the lock & finangled it a little bit, eventually getting the door open.

“I didn’t know you could lockpick.” “I can’t. I had no idea what I was doing that entire time.” “Ah.”

Now that the door was officially open, Cherry & Leslie walked in with ease. They looked around the area for anything that could be of use to them.

“Cherry, look!” Leslie whispered, pointing toward a door behind the counter. “Door!” “Yup. That’s a door.” “There’s probably something behind it!” “Yup. That’s how doors work.”

Leslie hopped over the counter while Cherry walked around it like a normal person would. Leslie reached for the door handle &, to their surprise, actually opened the door.

“Why is this door unlocked?” “Beats me. Probably a stupid idea to keep it unlocked though.” Cherry shrugged. “I’m just glad I don’t have to do that lockpicking thing again.”

The two of them looked through the door. It was a flight of stairs that went down.

“Huh. Stairs.” “This isn’t suspicious at all!”

They started walking down the stairs, being cautious with every step. It wasn’t a very long walk down, & eventually they made it down to the bottom, where another door greeted them.

“Oh, awesome. Another door.” Cherry groaned. “If luck is on our side, it won’t be locked.” Leslie said, opening the door. Again, it was not locked.

The two of them stuck their heads inside the door, & saw a most confusing sight. Rows & rows of bananas, with arms & legs (but no faces), just standing there. They spotted a work-desk off to the side with a weird device on top of it, with a banana painted on it.

“What in the world..?” “Why is this under a banana restaurant?”

Cherry & Leslie quietly entered the room, making sure not to make any sudden noises. Leslie stepped up to the work-desk & grabbed the device that was on it.

“What are you doing?!” Cherry whispered. “You don’t know what that thing does!” “I just wanna get a closer look!” Leslie whispered back, rotating the device in their hands.

Very quickly, they found a dial on the device that had 2 options: Banana & Human. It was currently set to Banana.

“Cherry,” Leslie whispered. “I think I have an idea.” “Oh no.”

Leslie walked up to Cherry & showed her the device, & the dial. “I think this thing can turn people into bananas.” “Why would anyone want to turn people into bananas?” “Hell if I know, but there’s a ‘human’ setting too! Maybe if we-” “HEY!”

Cherry & Leslie turned to the right. It was Pim, standing there. They must not have noticed it before, but there was another door in the room they were in, which they presumed Pim was in before.

“What do you two think you’re doing?!” “Uh.. nothing?” “It doesn’t LOOK like nothin’ to me! & let go of that device!”

Pim stormed up & snatched the device out of Leslie’s hands.

“What even IS that thing, anyway?” Cherry asked. “Oh, this?” Pim held up the device. “This is my Bananainator! You can probably guess what it does.” “It.. turns people into bananas?” “Precisely! & that’s exactly what all the bananas in this room are from!” “So you’re behind all the people going missing!”

Pim laughed. “Yup!” “But.. why?” “Well, when I was just a young banana- hey, wait a minute! You’re not getting a sad backstory outta me! BANANAS, APPREHEND THEM!” he pointed at Cherry & Leslie.

All at once, the bananas turned to ‘face’ Cherry & Leslie, & started running after them.

“Leslie, run!!”

They started booking it out of the room & back upstairs. The bananas were climbing up the stairs as fast as they could, but Cherry & Leslie got up there first & slammed the door shut, leaning their backs against it.

“Jesus christ. Out of everything I expected to happen tonight, being chased by literal bananas was not it.” “I think I’m gonna have nightmares about this tonight.”

Cherry & Leslie caught their breath.

“So.. what’s the plan now, Les?” “I..”

A thump at the door.

“Are those things trying to bust down the door?!” “What else would that thump be?”

Another thump.

“C’mon, Les! What are we gonna do?!” “Um... uh..”

Leslie was trying to think of something, ANYTHING. It caught a glance of its necklace. Suddenly, it came to them.

“The necklaces!” Leslie perked up. “We gotta get in those outfits again!” “..I am not doing that.” “Would you rather get devoured by LITERAL BANANAS? This might be our only chance at survival here!”

Cherry huffed. “Fine. But just this once.”

The two of them pulled on their necklaces, & just like that: they were back in the outfits, weapons in hand.

“Over the counter!” Leslie hopped over the counter again. Cherry did the same.

The door fell off its hinges as the bananas started pouring into the room. Cherry & Leslie readied their weapons.

“This thing’s.. still heavy.” Cherry groaned, struggling to keep her sword up. “You’ll get the hang of it! Probably.”

The bananas, despite not having faces, knew exactly where to go. They lunged themselves toward Cherry & Leslie. Leslie used their scythes to slice the bananas in half. Once Cherry maintained a stable hold on the sword, they started slashing at the bananas as well.

For every banana they slice, another two seem to come out. Cherry & Leslie were quickly getting exhausted.

“I- I think we should just book it!” “How are we supposed to get out without causing any property damage?!” “Listen,” Leslie sliced another banana with one of its scythes. “We’re gonna collapse if we keep trying to hold them off. We gotta- AGH!”

A banana had gotten a hold of Leslie’s wrist.

“LESLIE!” Cherry screamed.

She threw her sword at the banana grasping Leslie’s wrist. The sword went straight through the banana, cutting it in half. However, now Cherry didn’t have a sword, & bananas started swarming her.

“CHERRY!”

With the last of her energy, Cherry pushed some of the bananas out of the way & yelled, “Go on without me! I- I can handle it!”

As bananas surrounded Cherry & started dragging her away, Leslie had no choice but to run. They wouldn’t have been able to fend off the bananas by themself if they had stayed there.

It hopped into Cherry’s car, exhausted & wracked with grief. Pulling on its tie, it poofed back into the clothes it was wearing before.

“I promise, Cherry.. I’ll be back to save you.”

[skinnyducky]

unexpected visits // v.h.

I got this idea from a movie (She's Out of My League). This scene in particular was one that nearly made me piss my pants and I knew I had to write something similar to it. I just really wanted to do something so kooky and funny and I felt this definitely fits that. I categorized this as fluff but idk. N E ways, here it is. Hope y'all enjoy it!

link to part 2

Word Count: 1420, slightly edited

WARNING: sexual themes, heavy make out session, language (once again...I think), mention of alcohol, and a very flustered vinnie

---------

You threw your head back in laughter as Vinnie had cracked another joke. You two had just left your date at BOA Steakhouse and due to the night being so great, you decided to invite Vin back to your apartment to hang out. Granted, you had no intentions of giving him the goods, at least not yet. You didn’t want to rush into that with this relationship. With so many of your previous relationships, you’d give it up and then they’d leave. You didn’t want that with Vinnie. Hell, you at least wanted him to meet your parents before any of that.

“You are a mess,” you giggled, stopping in front of your apartment door.

“Eh, I try to not to be.” He replied, making a funny face.

You rolled your eyes and pulled out your keys. You fumbled a bit before finding the key to your apartment. As you opened the door, you immediately dropped your bag and headed straight for the kitchen.

“You want anything to drink? A soda or water?” You asked, opening your fridge. “I think I may even have a White Claw or two.”

“Just a water’s fine.”

You nodded and grabbed two waters. You watched from behind the kitchen island as he glanced around your apartment, admiring the décor.

“This is a really nice place.” He gasped. “It’s even nicer than-…”

He stopped mid-sentence, staring at the horse of a dog that stood right before him. He gulped and backed away as the male Doberman began to growl at him.

“What the hell is that?” Vinnie asked, holding his hand out in defense.

Giggling, you walked out from behind the counter. “That’s Mac. I’m watching him for a while until my family gets back from Puerto Rico.”

“Oh wow,” Vinnie replied, “he’s got some teeth on him.”

“Yeah, you should sit down. He hates when people stand up; makes him antsy.”

Vinnie wasted no time taking a seat on your sofa. Mac took note of this and laid down. Taking your place on the sofa next to Vinnie, you passed him his water before taking a drink of yours. The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes, not knowing what to do or talk about. That was until you grew tired of the quietness and decided to make a move. You leaned in close to him and grabbed his chin to make him face you. The two of you stared deep into each other’s eyes, slowly moving in closer until your lips brushed against each other, but before you could get any closer, you pulled back.

“Wait…wait,” you breathed. “I’m really want to, but I don’t wanna move too fast, y’know?”

“No, no…I get it, I totally do.”

“Believe me, I want to so bad, but…I just don’t want you to leave.”

He furrowed his brows. “Wha-…Why would I leave, Y/n?”

“Because everyone else does. Every time I meet someone nice, I get pretty generous and give it up within the first couple of days and then never hear from them again. I just don’t want that with you.” You explained, cradling yourself.

Vinnie sighed, wrapping an arm around you. He gave you a comforting smile and pulled you into his side.

“Y/n, I like you so much, I didn’t even think it was possible to like someone so much. So, regardless of whether or not we do anything, I have no plans on dipping anytime soon. Heck, I tend to be pretty generous too.”

You smirked to yourself. Never once has someone made you feel so secure, so warm inside. You knew Vinnie was definitely the one, and you also knew that you wanted him here and now. Without a thought about, you straddled him—much to his surprise. You tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear before attaching your lips to his. As expected, the kiss was better than you ever could’ve imagined. All you could focus on was how amazing his lips felt against yours. It was like they were sculpted for each other. Not to mention, his were so soft, it made you nearly faint at the slightest touch.

His hands gripped your waist tightly, causing you to whimper in pleasure. Your lips then found their way to his cheek, to his jawline, and then ended at the base of his neck. He groaned and moaned, wrapping his muscular arms around your frame. You continued to nip at his neck, all while steadily grinding in his lap.

“Oh my god,” he breathed against your ear. You mentally smiled at this and kept up with what you were doing.

Poor Vinnie felt helpless against you. Never had been with someone who could make him feel the way he felt with you. It was as if he was merely nothing but putty in your hands. And he like it.

He swallowed a large lump in his throat, feeling himself nearing the edge as you proceeded to roll your hips. He couldn’t help it, he knew the longer you worked your magic, the sooner he would burst.

And that’s exactly what he did.

Though, as he practically creamed his drawers, the doorbell rang. You immediately stopped what you were doing and hopped off of Vinnie. To his dismay, he glanced down at the crotch of his jeans to find a small dark spot. With a groan, he tried rubbing his hand against it, hoping the spot would go away.

You were completely oblivious to what was going on with the boy. You had adjusted yourself and then ran to open the door, revealing none other than your grinning parents.

“Mom, dad!?” You squealed as they pulled you into a hug.

Vinnie nearly lost his shit as he heard those names leave your mouth. What the hell could your parents be doing here, especially at this hour of night. “This can’t get any worse,” he thought to himself.

“I thought you guys weren’t coming back until tomorrow?” You said as you led your parents into your living room.

“Well, we were but your father’s job called, and we had to leave earlier than expected.” Your mom spoke. Her eyes went around the room before landing on Vinnie, who now sat cross-legged on your coach. “Y/n, who’s your little friend?” she smiled.

“Oh, this is Vinnie!” You laughed.

Your dad stepped up beside you sticking his hand out at Vinnie. “Y/f/n Y/l/n,” your dad greeted, obviously trying to intimidate Vinnie.

Instead of getting up to shake his hand, Vinnie remained seated with his arm out. The distance between the two wasn’t small enough for him to reach, and knowing your dad, he wasn’t about to move. Once Vinnie figured this out, he retracted his arm and shook his head.

“U-uh, nope. I’m not really a, uh, a handshaker. You know, germaphobe and all of that.” said Vinnie. “I’m sure you guys are uh…tired and worn out from your flight. You should, um, take a seat and…stuff.”

You and your family stared at the boy in confusion for a minute. After a few seconds of awkward silence, your mom took a seat at the end of the couch.

“Germaphobe.” Your dad huffed to himself, sitting next to Vinnie.

You contained your embarrassment—not only for Vinnie, but for yourself—and sat down in the armchair. Vinnie began at attempting to make small talk, hoping that he could still win your parents over, but that was cut short when Mac found his way over to Vinnie. The large dog began sniffing at the stain as if he was smelling a homecooked meal.

“Oh no, Mac.” Vinnie whined.

You and your family watched in bewilderment as the dog proceed to growl during his sniff session.

“Mac.” Your dad said, snapping at him to get his attention.

Trying to push Mac away didn’t help either in Vinnie’s case; Mac was too determined to get to the bottom of what he was smelling. So, doing the only thing he could do, Vinnie stood up onto your couch and stepped over your parents. Reaching the end, he hopped off and turned to look at the frowning couple.

“I, uh…thank you for having me. This has been really great.” He said, turning to look at you. “Goodnight.”

And with that, the boy rushed out of your apartment, nearly tripping over himself along the way. You could do nothing but look at your parents with a worried grin.

“That’s, uh…that’s Vinnie for you.” You chuckled.

[libraryofloveletters]

buck x fem reader work together / secretly dating but they act like they hate each other and the team doesn’t know. reader is also bobby’s daughter (or niece up to you) and scared of his reaction (prompts 17, 37, 42, 81)

Unconventional

Evan Buckley x Reader 

Prompts: #17: “We shouldn’t be doing this”, #37: “Uh why is your shirt inside out?”, #42: “I love you”, #81: “I can explain” 

Warnings: fem!reader, worrying, vulgar/suggestive comments (kinda but not really ?), suggested sexual content, a few swear words, kissing, mentions of hospitals, surgery and injuries. 

Category: fluff with a lil angst 

Word Count: 4.4k

Author's Note: I wrote it as bobby’s niece, it just made more sense :) hope you liked it!! 

---- 

Evan Buckley was a pain in your ass. 

He had been since the day you met him. His annoyingly attractive face, his stupid pretty blue eyes and his smile, not to mention how sweet he was. You couldn't help but hate him. Not in the typical “I hate your guts and hope you fall down a flight of stairs” way but in the “god you’re gorgeous and I want to marry you” way. 

Did you plan on liking the ridiculously attractive firefighter ? Most definitely not. 

Were you also planning on dating him in secret ? Also a no. 

Hence why you were sitting in his jeep on a Saturday at 3 in the morning. The two of you had gone on a date to this little restaurant outside of the city but everything that could go wrong kind of did go wrong.

Buck’s shift was supposed to end at 6 but they got a call last minute so he didn’t get home until 7:30. You called to push the reservation back and when he did pick you up, you got stuck in traffic. By the time the two of you got to the restaurant, it was 8:30 and the woman said she called to see if the two of you still needed the reservation but there was no answer (she didn’t call but neither of you were in the mood to argue) - Now it's 9 pm and the two of you still haven't had dinner. Venturing down the block, there was nowhere that seemed appealing. The night really began at some random mom and pop dinner you spotted by the beach. Deciding to have your own little dinner date on the beach, it was now 9:30. Buck had a blanket in the trunk (you didn’t ask why nor did you really wanna know) and you sat on the beach and had dinner. Time flew by, it was around 1 when the two of you began wondering what time it was. 

The date was now prolonged by Buck’s craving for something sweet so once again, the two of you were on a hunt but for somewhere to go. He googled the closest ice cream parlour but most places were closed, he searched until he finally found a place that was 20 minutes away. It was totally worth the drive considering it was some of the best ice cream you've had in your life. Which now brought you to 2:20 in the morning, the two of you were still sitting on the hood on his jeep, a container of half eaten ice cream between you. 

Buck looked over at you, a smile on his face. “Did you have fun ? despite, you know, all the shit that went wrong ?” you chuckled, “I did.” Buck had a shift at 11 so it was time for the night to come to an end. One of his hands held yours and the other on the wheel, you were staring out the window as the breeze blew by. 

“Something on your mind babe?” Buck asked you, glancing over at you as you turned towards him. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this” you mumbled, you didn’t want to end things with him but that didn’t mean that you didn’t have doubts about where this relationship was going. “What do you mean ?” he asks, his eyes on the road. “I mean how long are we going to hide this from everyone ?” your eyes back out the window, Buck sighed and the conversation dropped. There were a few minutes of silence and the tension filled the car, Buck finally spoke up “you were the one that didn’t want to say anything.” his voice came off a bit harsher than you expected, letting go of his hand, your body shifted towards the door and way from him. He noticed your change in emotion and seating. 

“Babe, I'm sorry. It's just that you didn’t want to say anything and it’s entirely your choice. I get it but we can figure it out. One step at a time, okay ?” Buck looks over at you when he pulls into the parking lot. “Yeah, I know. It’s fine.” leaning over the console to press a kiss to his cheek.  “Good night Buck, thank you for tonight” you give him a smile and get out of the jeep. Buck follows you, “let me walk you up,” he grabs your wrist, the two of you stopped in the middle of the parking lot. “That’s fine, I'll text you so you know I’m okay. You need to get home anyways, you have a shift and you need your sleep” shaking your head, you pull your hand away from him and head inside before he can ask again. 

He was right, it was your choice not to say anything but you weren't sure how your uncle would react. This relationship wouldn't just affect your relationship with him but also his relationship with Buck. You didn’t- couldn't let Buck jeopardize his work life for his love life. 

Shutting the door once you get into your apartment, you send a text to your boyfriend. 

To Lover Boy Buck: I’m home, text me when you get home. Sleep well <3

From Lover Boy Buck: Just pulled in, goodnight babe 

----

Athena’s birthday was on Saturday and Bobby had planned a surprise party for her. With a little help from May, things were in place. 

Bobby had taken Athena out for lunch at some fancy cafe that was impossible to get into and then to see a play. While they were out, you headed over to their place to help May set up. Upon arriving, you saw that Hen was already there as was Buck. 

“Good afternoon my loves!” you shout as you walk over to the kitchen. “I come with coffee” you hand a cup to May and the other to Hen, the two are thankful for the coffee as you had a shit ton of decorating to do and only a few hours to get it done. Buck leant against the wall by the kitchen entryway, “where's mine?” he asked which made you roll your eyes. “Didn’t know that you were gonna be here, no one invited you anyways.” you reply, sorting through the packages of balloons on the table, you toss one and it hits him square in the face. 

“Ow!” he shouts, rubbing his cheek. 

“Oh did I hurt you ?” you ask, pouting at him mockingly. 

Considering the weird note that the two of you left on during your last date, plus not being able to see each other that week left things in a bit of a mess. 

May and Hen exchange glances, “Buck, how about you help put up the banner in the backyard ?” she practically dragged Buck by the arm and into the yard. May was in the kitchen icing some cupcakes that she and Harry had made the night before when she called for you. 

“Why don't you get along with Buck ? I don't know him all the well but he seems like a good guy” May pleads his case unintentionally. 

He is a good guy 

“Ever meet someone and you just don’t like them ?” you ask, she hums. “That’s me with Buck” is what came out instead. 

“I get it.” she nodded, she began telling you about a guy in her chemistry class that just got on her nerves all the time. You excused yourself when the doorbell rang. Chim and Maddie had arrived right as Karen pulled into the driveway with Denny and Nia. You let everyone in and they began helping too. About an hour later, Eddie arrives with Chris and the cake. You take the cake from him so he can help Chris with his jacket.  

“Buck!” you shout

“Yeah ba- yeah ?” he corrects himself last second. Your eyes widen at the word that almost slipped out of his mouth. No one seem to catch it except for Chim who gave you a weird look but you just brush it off. 

“Take this, I need to change.” you hand the cake off to him and head to the bathroom to change into your dress. A few moments later, there was a knock on the bathroom door and then it opened. 

“Hey! I'm chang- oh it’s just you” you mumble as he shuts the door. Buck’s back pressed up against the door. “Are you just gonna watch me or are you going to help me?” you turn, your back towards him now. Pulling your hair over your shoulder, you feel one of Buck’s hands on your waist and then the tug of the zipper.  

“Must you always fight with me, y/n ?” he presses a kiss to your shoulder, his arms wrapping around your waist. “Must you always get on my nerves, Evan ?” you were looking back at him in the mirror, he flashed you a smile and nodded, a rather amused look on his face. “Yeah, it's kind of my job to irritate you” his arms loosen as you turn around to face him now, leaning back against the counter. “Well I guess then I have to fight with you” running your hand through his hair, he leans into you, his forehead against yours. 

“You know, they say make love, not war” he whispers, his lips almost touching yours. A little chuckle slips past your lips, “is this your way of saying that we should stop fighting ?” you mumble as you press a kiss to his lips. Buck pulls you closer to him - which you didn’t even think was possible, “no, it’s my way of saying we should make love” he smiles against your lips as he lifts you up onto the counter and you let out an obnoxiously loud laugh. “Oops” a hand comes up to cover your mouth. Buck can't help but smile, you were adorable and all he wanted was to go out there and tell everyone that he’s in love with you, something he hadn't even told you yet, but at last, he could not. 

“You’re cheesy, you know that right ?” looking up at him whilst you fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “If you want to fuck me, just say so” he tells you to which you reply “you're so vulgar Evan” while rolling your eyes. 

“Oh I'll show you vulgar” he chuckles and pulls off his shirt, his hand reaching behind you to unzip your dress. 

--

Buck left the bathroom first, the house had filled up within the 20 minutes the two of you were in the bathroom. He ran his hand through his hair in hopes to fix it from the tugging that just happened. As he stepped out into the backyard, his sister’s voice called out to him.

“Buck!” she walked over, “you’ve been so busy I haven't gotten a chance to say hi yet” she pulls her brother into a hug. Maddie’s face screws into a confused look. “Did you try a new body wash or something ?” she looks up at Buck, his brows furrow but he shakes his head. “Why?” he asks, “you smell like mint” she informs him. 

You step out into the backyard, a tube of mint chapstick between your fingers,  being applied to your lips. Buck’s eyes were on you, watching as the tube rubbed across your lips, his mind back to those lips were moments ago. Chimney’s voice caused him to pull his eyes away from you and onto him. 

“Uh why is your shirt inside out?” Chim asks him, brows raised. Buck looks down and his shirt is on inside out, “uh, I- uh I had to change.” he says, hoping they’d believe him. 

“You had that shirt on when we got here.” Chim had a puzzled look on his face. 

“Oh Christopher is calling for me, excuse me” Buck walks off before they could say anything. He did indeed make his way over to Eddie and Chris, you were on the other side of the backyard when your phone chimed. 

From Lover Boy Buck: Couldn't you have told me my shirt was on inside out?

To Lover Boy Buck: And how was I supposed to know that ? I didn’t have time to look at you

From Lover Boy Buck: Oh really ? You had plenty of time a few minutes ago 

To Lover Boy Buck: Behave. 

From Lover Boy Buck: Make me. 

You roll your eyes at his comment, May coming out and shouting that they just pulled in. Everyone stood by the backdoors, waiting for Athena and Bobby to come in. 

Athena had a blindfold on as Bobby led her down the stairs to the backyard. “I swear if you did somethin-” he undoes the blindfold mid sentence. 

“Surprise!!” everyone shouts, Athena had a huge smile on her face. She turns to Bobby, “you did all this ?” he smiles but shakes his head, “I had some help” nodding towards May, Athena walked over to her daughter to give her a hug. Bobby and Athena went around to say hello to everyone, Bobby coming over to you and Eddie, Buck and Chris were sitting beside each other. “Hey” Bobby smiled at the two of you, “hey” you smiled back before you gave him a hug. 

“What do I own you for today ?” he asks you

“Nothing at all, I'm glad I could help.” 

“Are you sure kid ?” 

“Yeah, I'm good. I’ll let you know if I need something uncle Bobby” 

He smiles and goes off to talk to Chim and Maddie. Eddie switches places with Buck, Christopher showing his father the trick that Buck just showed him. “You’re good with kids” you tell him, “yeah, I know” he replies. “You're also an arrogant asshole but perspective I suppose.” Buck chuckled at your comment, watching as you walked away. 

It was a while before you sat down for dinner, you were in the house with Bobby, helping him bring stuff out while everyone got seated. When you returned, there were two seats left. One at the head of the table, which was where your uncle was currently headed, leaving you no choice but to sit beside Buck. “Pass me the green bowl ?” he asks you, “no thanks” you reply nonchalantly. Bobby gives you a look, “y/n, pass him the bowl” you sighed and handed the bowl to Buck who was snickering. It took all of you not to smack this man in front of everyone. 

A hand on your upper thigh startled you, you coughed and Eddie looked at you from across the table, his brows furrowed. Your hand comes down to rest on top of Buck’s. Chris followed his father’s look over to you, “are you okay y/n?” he asked you sweetly, you smiled at him. “I’m okay buddy, thank you for asking” Buck bit the inside of his cheek, holding back a smile. Oh how he wanted to kiss you right now, but again, he couldn't really do that, could he? He settled for holding your hand under the table like teenagers for now. 

----

8 o'clock and you were supposed to be there 20 minutes ago. Bobby was probably there wondering where you were. You were supposed to be having dinner with your uncle tonight to tell him about you and Buck. Buck offered to tell him but you felt like it was only right for you to tell him. 

You dialled the number but it rang out. You assumed he was still driving or maybe he was ruining late too. The phone rang while you searched for something to wear. It was Bobby. 

“Hey!” you answer, “I'm gonna be a little late” 

“Y/n, we’re gonna have to take a rain check on dinner.” Something was wrong, you could tell from the way he answered. 

“Everything okay ? Are you still at work ?” 

“I’m at the hospital.” 

“What? Why? Are you okay ? Is it Athena ?” 

“Athena and I are fine. It’s Buck, he’s in surgery right now. I don't think I'll be leaving anything soon. I’m sorry about dinner.” 

Your heart dropped when he said it was Buck. 

“Did anyone tell Maddie ? Do you want me to pick her up ?” 

“It's alright, Chim went and got her. You don't have to come, we’re ok-” 

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes” 

Grabbing the keys, you’ve never run down the stairs so fast in your life. The whole drive over, it felt like the world was moving in slow motion. He’d still be in surgery when you arrived but you needed to know what happened. 

I love you Evan Buckley. 

The 5 words replaying in your head over and over again. The 5 words you hadn’t gotten the chance to say to him. The team plus Maddie and Athena were in the waiting room. Bobby came over and gave you a hug, “is he okay ? Did you guys hear anything ?” you ask as you sit beside Maddie. “Not yet” Bobby returns to his seat. 

“Mads, I'm sorry” you gave her a hug, she gave you a small smile. “It’s okay. Buck’ll pull through. He always does.” 

-- 

3 hours later and still nothing, he had been in surgery 2 hours prior to you arriving, bringing it to a total of 5 hours. Athena and Bobby left for a few minutes to see if they could get an update on him. You looked around the room, Eddie was leant against the wall, his legs on the chairs in front of him, Hen stood by the window on the phone with who you assumed was Karen. Chim’s arm was wrapped around Maddie, her head resting on his shoulder. 

Bobby and Athena returned telling everyone that there was no update other than he was still in surgery. Your leg bounced as you waited, Bobby rested a hand on your knee when he sat back down. 

“You okay kid ?” 

“Mhm hm why ?”

“You only bounce your leg when you’re nervous. You’re sure you’re okay ?” 

“Yeah, I'm gonna go get some coffee” you announce as you get up. If you spent another minute in that room, you were going to combust, you couldn't take it. “Does anyone want anything ?” there were a few mumbles of no but Eddie gets up and says he’ll come with you. The two of you walk down the hallway to the other end. Slipping a bill into the machine, it buzzes and then nothing. Eddie watches as you push the button a few times. Frustrated and tired, your hand smacks against the machine. A few nurses glare in your direction. 

“Hey, go get some air okay ? I’ll get the coffee and meet you outside” Eddie’s hand on your back, leading you to the doors.

“Eddie, I'm fine” 

“Y/n, go. You’ve been in here for a while and honestly, I could use the air too.” 

Not in the mood to protest, you step outside. It was a little past 11 now, it was dark and cold out. Your back pressed up against the brick wall, the coldness seeping through your shirt. A hand running over your face in an attempt to wake you up, you sigh as the door opens. 

“Here” Eddie handed you a mug that didn’t look like it came from a machine. The mug read “#1 nurse” on it and his says “world’s best mom” your brows furrow, looking at the man standing beside you. “I sweet talked one of the nurses, it's fine. I promised to return the mugs when we're done.” he says casually, making you smile. You had always enjoyed Eddie’s company, he didn’t ask questions or poke around in your life, he just lived in the moment. 

“Cute shirt” he chuckles, looking down at the blue t-shirt you had on. You hadn't realized that you left wearing it. “Oh thanks” you mumble, taking a sip of coffee. “It’s Buck’s, isn't it?” he asks, you almost choked on the coffee. 

“Wha- why would you ask me that ?” 

“It reeks of his cologne,” Eddie chucked. “I’ve known for months, y/n. The two of you aren't as slick as you think.” 

“Who else knows ?” 

“No one that I know of, Chim has an idea but he hasn't said anything” 

You hummed, looking out at the parking lot in front of you. “Does Bobby know ?” Eddie’s eyes practically burn into your side.

“I was going to tell him tonight.” 

Eddie’s phone buzzed before he could say anything else. “Let’s go in, the doctors are out.” Eddie followed you into the building and back into the waiting room. The doctor has just stepped in, she glanced back at you and Eddie, “Are you here for Buckley as well ?” 

“Yeah, how is he?” Eddie asks, the two of you step further into the room. “He’s stable as of now, we managed to stop the bleeding. He’s asleep but he’s got a long road ahead of him.” the doctor inform everyone, you watch as Maddie lets out a sigh, her hand squeezing Chim’s. “I can take someone in, if they’d like to go in” Chim let go of Maddie’s hand as she went to follow the doctor down the hall. Eddie could sense the change in body language, you were relaxed until Maddie stepped out with the doctor. His hand rests on your back again, “let’s sit down. You can go in after” he whispered to you. To anyone else in the room, it would look like something was happening between you and Eddie but he was just comforting you. There was nothing happening. 

The person you were in love with was laying in a hospital bed at the other end of the hallway. 

One by one, everyone went in to see him. Chim went in first, meeting Maddie in his room. When they return, they let everyone know he’s awake. Bobby and Athena are next, they go in for a few minutes. Hen was after them, you could hear them laughing from the other end of the hallway. 

It was so good to hear him laugh. 

You and Eddie went in last. Eddie sat beside his bed on the chair, he and Buck having a conversation. Eddie looked over at you, you were standing by the door. “I think I'll go call Chris and let him know you’re alright” Eddie pats Buck’s shoulder before stepping out the room. 

Buck’s attention was now on you. “hey you” he mumbles, trying to shift into a sitting position. “Don’t move, you’ll rip your stitches.” you take a seat where Eddie was a few moments ago. Buck’s hand reaches for yours, although he was awake, his hand felt cold. Your hand rubbed against his, his eyes on you. Neither of you say anything to the other. 

“I thought I lost you for a minute there.” 

“You’ll never lose me, y/n” Buck’s hand squeezes yours. 

“But I almost did and I hated every minute of it.” the tears welling up by your eyes, you blink a few times to get rid of them but instead a few slip down. Buck reaches up to wipe your tears, his hand cupping your cheek. 

“All of this for me ?” he teases, “there was no need to worry, you know that, right?” 

“You scared me you ass, don't do that” you sniffle, your hand wrapping around his wrist. 

“Y/n, I need to tell you something” his eyes were on yours, now you were worried again. “Okay, what is-” 

“I love you” he blurts out. 

“Oh Buck” you breathe, the soft expression on his face changes to a worried one. “Oh god, I'm sor-” your hand comes up and covers his mouth. 

“I love you too” you smile at him, you can feel him smile against your hand. Moving your hand to his cheek, “you do ?” he asks, you nod. “How can I not ?” Leaning out of the chair, your lips meet his. Your hand is still cupping his face and his hand lifting off the bed to meet your waist. Shifting from the chair to the bed, you sat beside Buck, your lips still on his. 

“Excuse me?” someone clears their throat, Buck pulls away to look at who's by the door. Bobby stood in the doorway, his arms folded in front of him and a rather amused Athena beside him. Buck’s eyes widen, you look over your shoulder to see your uncle standing there. 

“I can explain. Bobby I-” Buck starts, but Bobby cuts him off. “It’s okay Buck, I know.” he steps into the room. 

“You do?” the two of you say at the same time, both of you looking at him. Bobby nods, “I might be old - well older than you two but I’m not dumb” he chuckles, “if anything, you two are the dumb ones for thinking I wouldn't know.” he says 

“I was going to tell you at dinner” 

“I figured as much, I also figured you’d want to be here when Buck woke up” 

“Thank you for calling” you smile at him, he gives you a nod. “Everyone is heading home, are you going to stay with him ?” 

You hum, your attention back on Buck. You could hear Athena and Bobby whispering in the back and then the door shuts. Buck shifts slightly on the bed, making space for you. Laying on your side, beside him, your finger traces over the words tattooed on his forearm. The world had come to a pause finally, the things around you didn’t matter right now. Everything you cared about was beside you, the hospital wasn't the ideal place but all you cared about that he was okay. 

“Tell me again” you whisper, your head on his shoulder. Buck turns his head to look at you. 

“I love you y/n l/n” 

“I love you Evan Buckley” 

Turns out you did get to say those 5 words after all. 

--- 

Taglist: @reiidsbby @ssa-volturi @advicefromnixxxx @dralexreid @keenmarvellover @venusrosepetal @mikaelson-emma @beth-winchester21 @averyhotchner

[nachosncheeze]

The Company You Were Keeping (Blindspot 3x11 fic/extra scene)

Also on AO3.

So on the topic of this wild exchange from 3x11:

Weller: I wanna apologize for the way I acted with Clem. He's a good guy. It's just the thought of you with someone else....

Jane: I'm sorry too. I should have told you.

Weller: We all should have done a lot of things.

The only thing I could think of that would make Weller apologizing after Jane's bombshell make any sense would be if maybe somewhere in there they'd had a fight and he said something shitty to her, sort of like early season 2, casting aspersions on her associates and by extension her as well. Well, the lovely @lurkingwhump encouraged me to try to imagine it and write it down. Apparently my 4am brain decided that Weller should take the nuclear option (conveniently, also prompting Jane to retaliate with the nuclear confession option). Anyway, I'm sorry that out of several ideas you've cheered me on to write, the first one I finished ended up being so mean! I don't think I could have planned this if I tried, but here it is anyway. 😅

Content warning for mentions of infidelity.

~~~~~

Jane and Weller rode together to the airstrip. An FBI jet waited to carry them to Berlin, where they would - they would - find Jane’s daughter and bring her home. Jane’s former associate, their transient new teammate Clem, would be joining them at the airstrip shortly for the flight over. Kurt wasn't particularly happy about using a barely-vetted stranger, but maybe he'd at least get a little more insight into Jane's life during her time on the run.

The drive was quiet, the tension palpable. It wasn’t long ago that Kurt had stood in heartbroken disbelief, watching Jane take off her wedding ring and walk out of their apartment. She had looked so angry when she said she was leaving, but the look she threw back across the threshold just before she closed the door was filled with betrayal and pain. The distance between them seemed like a million miles, but Kurt felt he needed to be with her on this mission. He was still hoping they could work it out, and this was his chance to take the first step to making it right. He wouldn’t let her do this alone, and however angry she might be, he couldn't trust an unknown element to have her or Avery’s backs. He was going to bring them both back. It was his only choice.

Jane was clearly not happy that Reade was forcing her to take him with her, though. Weller was even less happy that Reade had had to make it an order.

“So,” Weller asked mildly as they mounted the steps onto the jet, “is there anything I should know about this Clem guy?”

“Just what I said before,” Jane answered noncommittally as they stowed their go-bags and took seats on opposite sides of the table. “He’s got connections all over Europe, and he’s one of the best there is.”

“And you trust him?”

“Yes,” she answered, after a moment of hesitation so brief that he might have imagined it. They lapsed into silence as she pulled out her phone, assuming the conversation was over. Weller, it seemed, was not ready to let it rest. After a too-brief moment of quiet, he tried again.

“You say you two have worked together a lot.” She nodded without looking up from her screen. He tried to keep his tone neutral, curious. “So how do these jobs usually work? Do you notify the authorities? What kinds of weapons did you use?”

She put down her phone. “Tranqs, usually,” she replied with a half-shrug. “Live rounds when necessary. No authorities. Don’t worry, we know what we’re doing,” she finished dismissively, glancing down at the screen in her lap.

That irritated him. They were on an FBI jet, using FBI resources, and embarking under the auspices of the FBI’s investigations into Roman and Hank Crawford. This wasn’t just another mercenary job like those she'd done while she was on the run; they were the authorities, and she didn’t seem to be taking that seriously. They were responsible not just for rescuing Avery, but for anything that went wrong along the way. He was responsible.

“But leaving bodies is the last resort,” he ventured, trying not to let his frustration bleed through.

She shrugged again, turning most of her attention back to her phone instead of him. “We try to work without fatalities, but sometimes there’s no other option," she said without looking up.

His voice took on an edge as he tried to pull her focus. “And no authorities, so the first choice is to leave the kidnappers to walk off when they wake up, free to go abduct someone else?”

His challenge had the desired effect. She pocketed her phone and clenched her jaw briefly as she met his eyes. “It wasn’t like that,” she attempted to reason, but she could feel her temper rising in response to his interrogation. It almost felt like he was challenging her integrity, when he should know better than anyone where her morals stood. “The focus is getting the victim out alive. That’s the priority.”

“Sounds to me like that's where the money is."

"I don't see you complaining that we still have our apartment," she bit back irritably. Okay, maybe that was a low blow, considering it was his search for her that had nearly bankrupted them in the first place. But she'd made it right. They kept their home and most of their savings were replenished. The loneliness had been crushing, but in the end the practical outcome, at least, wasn't all that different than if they'd still had two incomes that whole time. And Kurt and Bethany had both been safe, while Avery was… she stopped there. She couldn't let herself think about it.

Weller interpreted the dig about the apartment about as well as could be expected, which was not well at all. That had been a terrible time for him; guilt about Avery's supposed death by his hand, fear for Jane, shame that if he found her safe he may have failed to provide a home for her to return to. Maybe she had brought their bills up to date, but she had recently walked out of that same apartment. Had she really been invested in calling it home, or had she just felt guilty that they’d nearly lost it? He tried another tactic. "Did you make up that playbook on your own? Or did this Clem guy train you?”

“You know what I can do; I was good at it on my own,” she answered impatiently. “But yeah, once I had an experienced partner who knew their way around the industry, I got better.” The way he kept dismissively referring to Clem as ‘some guy’ was starting to rub her the wrong way. The man had volunteered, for no other reason than loyalty, to help rescue the daughter that Kurt himself had concealed from her and left in the hands of gangsters for over half a year. She couldn’t understand why he was so hung up on the hows and whys of the job. If it offended his boy scout sensibilities, he should have stayed home. It wasn’t like she wanted him there anyway.

And he knew it. Now both of them were angry.

"Better at rescuing people?” he challenged rashly, “Or just better at ignoring the law to do it?"

“He doesn't ignore the law,” she defended. “K&R just means skirting it a little sometimes. I told you, killshots only when necessary. Anyway, how is what you and I do with the FBI any different? We take people down all the time, often fatally. You do what you have to, to achieve the objective.” 

“We’ve never just left a pile of bodies behind,” he replied scornfully. “We make arrests, there are support teams, coroners; checks and balances; investigations to make sure we don’t get out of line. Our work is about justice. There are procedures-”

She cut him off. “We followed procedures, too. Just because they’re not written down in some library doesn’t make them any less effective. If government procedures could get everyone home safely, K&R teams wouldn’t be necessary. It’s the kidnappers that are the bad guys, Kurt, not us. I don’t get why you’re so mad about this."

"K&R exists outside the law, Jane, and law enforcement exists for a reason. Hell, we are law enforcement, and that hasn't stopped us. We've saved a whole lot of lives, and we've never had to push the line to do it.” She rolled her eyes at his generous assessment of their team's positions relative to 'the line', but he wasn’t done. “There are limits. Maybe you were gone a little too long, and you've forgotten."

Her lip twisted and brow set at how patronizing his last comment was, and though she chose to try to overlook it, she was less than successful at keeping the rapidly hardening edge from her voice. "Sometimes, the law can't get the job done. We can't rescue everyone, and individual kidnappings aren't like the large organized threats or conspiracies we deal with. Whatever the Bureau may think, sometimes negotiation is the right path. And when it's not, extractions have to be fast and efficient. Investigations and warrants are a waste of time; most kidnap victims aren't lucky enough to be able to afford the delay. But we always got to them before it was too late. Sometimes, the ends justify the means."

The law is a waste of time; the ends justify the means. Where had he heard that before? It sounded an awful lot like what Shepherd and Roman adhered to, and it went against everything he stood for. Everything he had thought she stood for, too. "So what,” he grumbled carelessly, “you want to go back to being Remi? Skip due process and work outside the law, slum around with criminals and terrorists again just because they get results a little faster? Is that it?"

There it was, the t-word. The motherfucking t-word. She may have been gone from his life almost as long as she'd been present, but the time she'd spent with him hadn't been idle. She'd proven herself again and again, and he was still carrying around the name 'terrorist' somewhere in his mind? She snapped, shooting him a look of cold fury. "Clem is not a criminal; he's a good man, and he's doing this job to help fix your mistake. And... I don't even know what to say to the rest of that. After all this time, that's still what you think of me?"

He looked away, grinding his teeth behind a grimace of contrition. Good, she thought, at least he has the decency to feel bad about that. Finally he looked back at her, his jaw re-set in his anger. "You're right, that's not what I think about you," he conceded. "But what am I supposed to think, Jane? I’ve seen the kind of company you were keeping. Who the hell was Alejandro Calderon? And I met Dwire Lee. Why are you defending this guy so hard, anyway?"

"He was my friend," she said, her voice dangerously low. And then, before thinking about it, she quietly spat, "We became close. Very close."

The admission was cool, but as the implication registered, Weller's face froze as if she’d shouted it and slapped him. Every one of his emotions suddenly vanished behind a mask of stone, and her heart plummeted into her stomach. Why had she said that? It was over. Truth be told, it was over before whatever 'it' was had ever really begun. It was over because all she could see, all she could think about had been the man in front of her, the one she'd just stabbed clean through the heart of. She shouldn't have told him. And definitely not now, not like that. But Avery was god only knew where, if she was even alive - she needed a K&R specialist, not the FBI, and he wouldn't stop attacking her best hope. She couldn't afford to back down now.

"So you were in a relationship with this guy?" he asked quietly.

"You and I were apart; I didn't think we could ever see each other again," she said defensively, letting irritation be her shield.

"Were you ever gonna tell me?"

"You really wanna play that card with me? Look, it was over. I was trying not to hurt you." All the same, she could see the pain seeping through his mask, and something like panic started to rise in her gut. 

They hadn't fought like this since those first few weeks after the NSA sent him to recapture her. Clearly, neither of them knew how to cope with it any better now than they did then. Maybe they were even handling it worse. She was apparently still a terrorist with criminals for friends, and now she'd effectively revealed that she'd made him a cuck. At this point they were both just lashing out to hurt each other as much as possible.

It was hard to say who was winning that battle.

She tried to lower the temperature by finding something they could agree on. "You know, maybe we should just stop working so hard to protect each other, because it just seems to make things worse." 

Weller was deathly still. Before he could respond or she could say anything more, she heard her name behind her. Clem’s timing couldn't have been worse. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily before reluctantly looking over her shoulder in greeting.

"Hey. Clem," the newcomer introduced himself as he stepped forward and offered his hand. Weller shook it stiffly.

"Kurt," he answered tersely.

"...Ah," Clem responded as he looked between the two of them. Kurt's stony gaze never left her face as she shifted over to let Clem take the seat beside her. She answered with a warning glare. Clearly they had a lot to talk about, but now wasn't the time. "So is this gonna be…" Clem questioned awkwardly, looking between them again.

"Jane says you're good," Weller interrupted, "so what have you got?"

[sour--disposition]

Take Me By The Hand

-

harry lewis x fem!reader

-

requested: Heyy, could you do the ‘take my hand’ concept that you did with JJ, but with Harry?? Love your writing sm! Xxx

please see my pinned post for masterlist and request info!

One taking the others hand to help them up

You were 4 when you first met Harry properly. You’d been running around the playground, chasing after one of your friends when you’d taken a tumble and ended up in a small heap on the floor. Harry had come trotting over, sticking out a hand to help you up.

“Is your knee okay?”, he asked you.

“I don’t think so. It’s bleeding”, you told him sadly. 

Harry kept hold of your hand, dragging you over to where the teachers on duty were standing. “She hurt her knee”, Harry said bluntly, poking one of the adults and then pointing to your knee.

Harry followed you and the teacher inside, sitting next to you as you had your knee cleaned and a plaster stuck on. The teacher left to fill in the accident book and write a note for you to take home. “I’m Harry”, the boy said as soon as she’d left.

“I’m Y/N”, you told him with a bright grin.

“Shall we be best friends?”, Harry asked with a toothy smile.

“Yes!”.

-

Holding hands whilst one walks on a small wall

You and Harry had stayed best friends from that day forward. There wasn’t anything that you didn’t do together. Harry would always be the first person you’d turn to whenever anything was wrong. He held your hand through every trip you took to the first aid room in your primary school and he shouldered his way through to sit next to you whenever you were in a classroom together.

Harry asked you out on your first date when you were both 15. You’d gone to his house after school, pestering him until he did his homework before you let him outside. He’d been pacing around the lawn in front of you, completely distracted from his kickaround with Josh, as you sat on the deck with Rosie.

“What’s wrong with him?”, she asked from beside you.

“I have no idea”, you told her. “You know what he’s like though”, you dismissed, all the while worrying about your best friend.

Rosie and Josh ran inside 20 minutes later to help set the table for dinner, leaving you and Harry alone in the back garden. “Are you gonna tell me what’s up with you?”, you asked him.

“Do you wanna go on a date?”, Harry blurted, leaving you stunned. The two of you were wide-eyed in surprise, both with words caught in your throat that you were desperately trying to say. 

“Yeah”, you smiled.

A week later you met Harry by the beach. You’d seen each other through the week during school and spending the evenings after school together, but this evening felt different. This evening would be the one that potentially changed yours and Harry’s relationship forever.

You walked side by side down to the sea front, stopping and sitting on a small wall there. The two of you talked for hours, like you always did. Harry telling you about his family, about what happened in the few classes that you didn’t share together, telling you about his day and you returning the favour. You laughed well into the sunset, a soft silence falling over you as you watched the sun dip beneath the Guernsey horizon.

“It’s getting dark, and it’s cold. Let’s head back”, Harry suggested. As soon as you’d stood up, you stepped up onto the wall you’d just been sitting on, making you ever so slightly taller than Harry. With your arms held out for balance, you took a few tentative steps.

Harry reached out, grabbing your hand to keep you steady. You looked over to him, a shy smile on his face that you soon mirrored, paired with a rosy blush. Harry kept your hands entwined as you walked along the wall, matching his pace with yours so he didn’t rush you and cause you to stumble.

When you reached the end of the wall and jumped down, your hand didn’t leave Harry’s.

-

Holding hands whilst driving

Harry had never let whatever Youtube success he was gaining get in the way of the two of you. He always made time for you, always made you feel important. As soon as he’d learnt to drive and got a car, you and Harry would spend hours traversing the coastline, wind pouring into the window and billowing through your hair as you watched the cliffs and waves pass you by.

If you were in his car, Harry would insist on you being in the passenger seat, no matter who else was joining you. His hand would always rest on your thigh as he drove, only ever moving to change gear before quickly returning to its place.

Your fingers were wrapped loosely in his, making sure he was able to let go and reach for the gear stick whenever he needed to. The roads along the coastline were fairly straight, only ever bending slightly and no sharp turns in sight.

With the road empty bar from the two of you, Harry snuck a glance over to you. Your face was illuminated by the soft glow of the sun, hair windswept against the headrest and over your shoulders.

“I love you”, Harry said simply. It was no massive declaration, it didn’t have to be. You and Harry had been friends for 13 years, together for nearly 2. He’d loved you for as long as he could remember.

“I love you, too”.

-

Possessive hand holding

The first time you visited Harry in London was quite the nerve wracking experience. Aside from helping him move his stuff into his flat with Lux and Freezy, you’d barely seen him since he’d left the small island you both called home.

You waited by baggage claim, leg shaking with restless, nervous energy. It was just your luck that your suitcase was one of the last to make its way through and round the conveyor belt, the hall almost empty by the time you’d got your belongings.

Harry was waiting for you just outside arrivals, just as restless and nervous as you were. His eyes had been glued to the door from the minute you’d text him to let you know you’d reached baggage claim. Every person that walked out of the sliding doors that wasn’t you irritated him even further. It had only been a few weeks since he’d last seen you, and he was going mad.

At last, you trudged through the doors, looking a little worse for wear and incredibly pissed off. But you were there.

Harry wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight against his chest. “I’ve missed you so much”, he whispered into your hair. “The guys are already at my place, I hope that’s alright”, he told you. “They’re really excited to meet you”.

At Harry’s apartment building, he kept a tight hold on your hand as he led you upstairs. “Harry, it’s okay”, you assured him, squeezing his hand.

“Just nervous”, he told you.

Harry led you into the apartment, pausing for a second so you could drop your case by the door and kick your shoes off. His deathly tight grip on your hand never waned, like he was scared you were going to escape.

“Lads, Y/N”, Harry said awkwardly as he led you through the doorway. “Y/N, both of the Cals, Ethan, JJ, Simon, Josh, Tobi and Vik”, he introduced, pointing to each man in turn as he said their names.

“Nice to meet you”, you smiled happily.

You sat next to Harry on the sofa, squeezed up against his side. His hand was still gripping onto yours, squeezing tighter whenever any of the guys started to talk to you. “Harry”, you whispered, wiggling your fingers in his grip. “What’s wrong?”.

“Someone looks a little jealous if you ask me”, Freezy poked, wicked grin shooting across the living room.

“Oh, give over”, you scoffed, flicking Harry in the chest. “You buffoon. There’s nothing to worry about. Now ease up, you’re cutting off blood flow to my fingers”, you teased.

-

Rubbing their thumb over the other’s hand 

“I don’t wanna leave”, you sighed, leaning further into Harry’s chest. “I miss you too much”, you whispered.

“I miss you, too”, he told you, wrapping both arms around your body and pulling you closer.

Harry watched over your shoulder as you opened your phone and pulled up flight times for a few weeks time, scrolling through them to find the cheapest option. Seeing Harry as often as possible was taking its toll on your finances and Harry knew you’d only accept so much help from him.

“What if this was the last time you flew home?”, Harry asked into your hair.

“What do you mean?”, you asked, thumb pausing over the screen.

“I spoke to Cal about it the other day, before you came”, Harry started. “How would you feel about moving to London?”, he asked.

You turned in his arms, facing Harry. “Are you being serious?”, you asked, a blossoming grin eager to bloom over your face.

“As I’ve ever been”, he whispered.

3 weeks later, you waited at the gate in Guernsey airport, surrounded by your family. “I’m so happy for you”, your mum whispered as she pulled you in for a tight hug. When she pulled back, you were both laughing through the tears that had begun to shed. “You and Harry deserve to be happy”, she told you.

They watched and waved as you walked towards the flight bridge, knowing that this would be the last time they’d see you for a while. You sat in your seat, watching as Guernsey got smaller and smaller below you. Although leaving home was never going to be an easy thing, you knew that you could build a home wherever Harry was.

You’d already shipped a lot of your stuff over to Harry, leaving you only to bring a large suitcase with you on your flight. You had no idea what to expect when you arrived, whether your stuff would be in Harry’s room or boxes strewn into whatever corner of the apartment they could fit into.

“Here”, Harry said as you sat in the car in the car park outside of the apartment building. He handed you a key on a keyring. “House keys”, he told you.

“Thank you”, you smiled

Harry pulled your case behind you as you walked up to the apartment. You stilled in front of the door, Harry pulling to a stop next to you. “Are you okay?”, Harry asked, voice filled with concern.

“Yeah”, you assured him quietly. “It’s just a lot, y’know”, you murmured.

“I know”. Harry’s thumb skimmed across the back of your hand in a soft, repetitive, soothing pattern. “I love you”, he reminded you, thumb never halting its soft reassurance against your skin.

“I know”, you smiled up at him. “But I love you more”.

-

Unconsciously searching for the other’s hand whilst asleep

If you were to ask Harry when he knew you’d be in his life forever, he’d have told you when the two of you were 5. Teasing from the other kids about you being best friends with each other was almost never-ending, but you and Harry always found a way to make light of it.

It wasn’t uncommon to see you and Harry playing with the dolls amongst the other little girls or racing around through the mud with the other boys. Everyone quickly learnt that where Harry went, you went and where you went, Harry went.

Harry knew you were going to be his bestest friend forever when he’d sat down on the grass to play and realised that there were no toys left. You’d come and sat down next to him and you’d played in the mud together, making daisy chains and mud pies and potions that you stirred with sticks, never caring about the dirt coating your pretty pinafore dress.

If you were to ask Harry when he knew that your relationship was meant to last, he would fumble and stumble over his words, not really knowing what to say. It was something that brought his friends great joy, asking what he saw in the future for the two of you. After all, you had been together since you were 15.

The night Harry realised you were his one great love was rather anti-climatic. There was no fireworks or mind-blowing kiss or Earth shattering sex. In fact, you were curled up asleep next to Harry, hair piled on top of your head and the hem of one of his Sidemen Clothing shirts riding up on your thigh.

He’d shut his computer down and gotten ready for bed, sliding in next to you as quietly as possible. Whilst he was lounging in bed next to you, attention focused on the screen of his phone, you’d started shifting beside him. Harry laid stock still, not wanting to wake you up with any movements.

Instead, you reached a hand across the bed, seemingly searching for something. When you couldn’t find whatever it was you were looking for, a frown settled itself onto your face. Harry was sure you were dreaming, but couldn’t resist closing the gap between your fingers and his.

The minute Harry hooked his fingers around yours, the frown on your face disappeared, replaced by a soft, blissful smile. Harry had known you long enough and knew you well enough to know that you were still fast asleep, the gentle sighs falling from your mouth being a dead giveaway.

So, if you asked Harry when he knew that your love was meant to last, he’d tell anyone that listened that it was the moment he realised you loved him even in your dreams.

[sirisuorionblack]

It was perfect.

Sirius Black x Remus Lupin

Summary - At the age of 30 Remus Lupin or should I say Remus Lupin-Black was settled with a perfect husband, a perfect daughter and a perfect life, it was almost unbelievable for him.

Warnings - None.

The sunshine peeked into the room awaking Remus by glaring right at his face. He blinked, adjusting his eyes to the harsh sunlight and tightening his arms around the two of the most if not only important people in his life.

His daughter, (Y/N), laid on one side of his chest, her head buried into the crook of his neck, her drool dropping onto his bare skin and his husband's ears were pressed to the other side, right above his heart, hearing those rhythmic contraction and relaxation that still allowed him to sleep despite anything going on around him.

Remus ran a hand through the silky locks of his husband, smiling to himself. Oh, how lucky he was.

"Good morning, husband," Sirius mumbled hoarsely into his chest.

Remus chuckled, after all these years of being married when Sirius called him husband till this day never failed to give him those very butterflies that erupted in the pit of his stomach when they went on their very first date.

Remus pressed his lips against Sirius' forehead, "Good morning."

Sirius kissed Remus' cheeks and then turned to his daughter who was still fast asleep with her cheek pressed against Remus' shoulders, making her pout involuntarily.

Sirius chuckled, dragging a finger over her smooth cheeks, "She is adorable,"

Remus snorted silently, "Obviously she is, I mean did you see her dad? God damn it, he is hot!" 

"Oh, is he now?"

"Mhm. You would say he has the beauty of a God,"

"Or you'd say he is the God himself,"

"If God was prick, that is,"

"And if He gets to fu-"

"Don't! Just shut up," Remus glared at Sirius who smirked in return.

"I mean-"

"No, you don't ever mean anything. Like quite literally, there is no filter between your mind and your mouth, no, honestly between your mind and any part of your body,"

"Are you saying I am stupid?"

"Absolutely not, Pads, how can I say that? Your the most brilliant human to ever live,"

Sirius narrowed his eyes at him and scoffed.

The little 2 year old in Remus' arms squirmed lightly, fisting the blanket draped over her in her chubby little fingers. Sirius grimaced as the two of them fell still afraid any movement might wake her up, but no movement was needed as she opened one eye, her grey orb shining as it met her father's almost the same grey ones.

She closed her eye immediately after she noticed her parents looking at her and smiled cheekily. Sirius barked a laughter and took his daughter into his arms, sitting up against the headboard.

"Good morning, little one," he said as he tickled her. (Y/N) giggled and leaned into her father's arms. 

She replied a 'Good morning' that either of the adults could barely understand if it wasn't for their training to grasp the words their two year old had been mumbling for months.

Remus cooed and he too sat up, kissing his daughter's cheek just the moment Sirius kissed her other cheek. Their daughter giggled. It was perfect. 

Remus somehow managed to wriggle out of Sirius' grasp with maximum amount of bribing and left their 2 year old daughter under his sight though he knew that was a dangerous thing to do.

"If I see the two of you making any ruckus when I come back, you're grounded," He had given them a weak threat which he knew the moment the father and daughter started to giggle and he left with a loud groan to the kitchen. 

Anonymously, Remus was excited to finish the breakfast that day although the rest of the days when he cooks he loves to take his time.

"Hey, Moony," Sirius muttered as he wrapped his arms around Remus from behind, pushing his weight onto the other man and evidently pressing him against the counter.

"What did you do, Black?" He asked, abandoning what he was doing and slightly leaned back to look at his husband.

"Nothing," Sirius mumbled into his shoulder blade which just added to his suspicions.

"Sirius," Remus said warningly, and narrowed his green eyes. The said man gulped in fear as he knows when he is called by his name, he is in serious trouble, no pun intended. 

Sirius pulled away, coughing nervously and Remus knew something was up as he turned off the gas and turned around, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, looking at Sirius pointedly.

"Um," Sirius muttered, scratching his neck. Suddenly, he leaned in and pecked Remus on the lips and ran upstairs to their bedroom all the while yelling, "I am sorry, Remus, I didn't do it!"

It took Remus a while to register or to be exact return from the trance he was put in by just a peck on the lips but once when he did know what's happening he took off the flight of stairs with panic settling in.

"What did you do!?" He yelled as he burst open the door of their room and froze as he saw his daughter tangled in the bed sheet and giggling, pillows all torn, the stuffing flying all over the room and Sirius standing in the middle of the room, with eyes blown wide for what is to come.

Remus blinked twice and gave the most unexpected reaction from any - he howled with laughter. Sirius' eyes grew even wider if it was possible as he let out a scared, broken laugh.

"Oh, puppy," Remus said with a little laugh as he tried to untangle his daughter.

"Are you OK, Remus?" Sirius asked as he cautiously moved closer, taking a pillow case that was previously stuffed to the brim as a shield.

Taking (Y/N) in one arm, Remus grabbed the nearby thing and hurled it across the room at his stupidly handsome husband.

"Ouch," Sirius mumbled, prying the thing off his face which just happens to be another pillow case. The little girl in his arms giggled looking at her father.

"That giggles dubs to - you're an idiot, dad," Remus said and Sirius smirked.

"Oh does it?"

"Yup!"

"Well, then, do you know what else the idiot could do?" Sirius asked, as he stepped closer with each word and lunged at the two of them, tickling mercilessly. The laughter of the three of them were the only sounds resonating through the walls. It was perfect. 

"Alright now, we have the day free, so what do you want to do?" Sirius asked after they finished breakfast and walked to the couch where he found Remus sprawled, their daughter perched on top of his stomach.

(Y/N) touched on of Remus' scars and then kissed it muttering something similar to 'love you, papa', melting Remus' heart.

"I love you too, my sweetheart," Remus said, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"Me too!" Sirius said, "I love you too, pup!"

(Y/N) giggled and sat up on his stomach once again. Sirius smiled softly and sat on the floor, his arm hovering inches behind his daughter's back and (Y/N) kissed his cheek, making the adults coo.

Sirius looked at his husband, "Alright, do you wanna go anywhere?"

"Do you wanna build a snowman?" Remus sang almost impersonating the original, almost.

"Ok, gods, no," Sirius muttered, shaking his head which just received a light slap to the arm.

"Papa!" (Y/N) yelled, wailing her arms to be picked up by Sirius and he obliged as though it was his command.

"Do you wanna go anywhere, pup? I am bored!" He asked his daughter.

"Hmm," she hummed as she waved her hands wildly, leaning against Sirius. 

"How about the park?" Remus suggested.

"Finally, your not insane," 

"Shut it,"

"Do you wanna go to the park, pup?" Sirius asked (Y/N), who giggled in response and Sirius laid her down on his lap, tickling again.

"I am taking my bike!"

"No, your not,"

"Yes, I am!"

"Sirius-"

"Please,"

"Sirius Orion-,"

"Pretty please."

With the puppy dog eyes, his leather-clad form, his hands clasped under his chin, Remus was prone to give in and that's exactly what he did and Sirius ran to the garage like an excited puppy.

Rolling his eyes, Remus picked and placed (Y/N) on his hips and ranted about how her father could be at times an absolute baby.

After strapping (Y/N) against Sirius' chest, Remus hopped on behind him, with his helmet on. It was perfect. 

The three of them returned home only after the sun set and they finished their dinner at their favourite restaurant with their head thrown back with laughter. 

"Alright you two, get changed, we are going to watch a movie!" Remus said, beaming. 

"I am choosing the movie!" Sirius yelled.

"Let's see about that," Remus said but what he meant was 'Absolute not'.

Remus giggled as he saw his husband wearing the pyjamas that were designed with black dogs and (Y/N) wearing similar pyjamas except it was woven with numerous patches of wolf. The rich prick that Sirius is!

"What is this?" He asked with a chuckle. 

"What? You don't like it?" Sirius asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Remus giggled, pressing his lips to Sirius'.

"Papa!" (Y/N) yelled, pushing them away. Sirius chuckled, kissing her forehead and raising her above his head and catching her as she fell back into his hands.

The three of them settled on the couch, (Y/N) between her fathers. "Finding dory?" 

"Sirius, no, even (Y/N) won't like that," 

"You don't know. She might too,"

"No we are not watching that,"

"Fifty shades of-"

"SIRIUS!"

"Ok, ok, sorry, jeez,"

Finally managing to put an appropriate movie, they settled down on the couch, snuggling closer.

Around the middle of the movie, (Y/N) had dozed off against Remus' chest. He smiled and nudged, Sirius who mirrored his expression, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead and then moved to press his lips to Remus' forehead.

"I love you," he said, smiling down at him.

"I love you too," 

It was perfect.

[agent-whiskeys-sweetheart]

Meant To Be (iii)

Pairing: Hotch x F!Reader

Summary: After meeting Garcia you make quick work of helping with the case, desperate to prove yourself to Hotch. Once the two of you help the team wrap everything up it’s time for them to return home. Which also means it’s time for you and Hotch to talk. One on one.

Warnings: Nothing in this chapter.

Word Count: 5,288

A/N: I wanna say I’m super happy you guys are enjoying this series cause honestly I’m having a lot of fun writing it! I love you all dearly. (If you’re just now finding this series, that’s perfectly alright! I’m glad you’re here! Feel free to catch up and enjoy the rest of the story. Here’s a link to Part 1 and Part 2 of Meant To Be.)

The elevator ride to the bottom floor of the building was quick, allowing you to make your way to Garcia’s office in a matter of minutes. There was a plaque up next to the door, indicating that you were in the right place. Taking a moment to steady yourself you exhale before knocking on the door. A voice on the other side tells you to come in so you do. Around you are dozens of impressive looking monitors, all of which are doing something different. On top of the long L-shaped desk there were several small trinkets and toys, bringing a sort of life into the dark room. The woman sitting in front of you spins around in her chair to look at you, a quick flash of confusion on her face. She looks extremely kind and everything about her appearance makes you want to smile. 

“Hello. My name is Y/N L/N. Are you Penelope Garcia?” 

“Yes, I am. What can I do for you?” Once you’re sure you’re in the right place you step forward to shake her hand. She stands so that you are both on the same level now, shifting awkwardly. 

“Sorry to barge in like this. Everything has gone pretty fast this morning. I’m a new agent for the BAU. Today is my first day. The rest of the team just left on a case and SSA Hotchner asked me to stay behind and help from here.” Her face lights up with a bright smile.

“Oh, that’s awesome! It’s really nice to meet you! Please come in, sit down. Make yourself comfortable.” With this, she pulls another chair up to the desk and then sits back down in her own. “I didn’t actually know we had any new agents joining us. That being said, welcome! I’m almost always here by myself so the company will be nice. You and I can get to know each other.” You nod with a smile, watching her as she continues what she was doing. There are several different tabs open across the screens with loads of information that she seems to be compiling. When she sees your incredulous face she laughs.

“I know, it’s a lot. I’m just trying to get as much preliminary information as I can to send to the team. That’s what you’ll be helping me with. We collect research, data, important records. Anything they need to find out, we provide. Kind of cool, right?” Remaining silent, you nod. Upon seeing this, Garcia stops typing for a moment. “I know it may not seem as exciting as field work but it’s still very important. Don’t worry, I’ll make it fun. I promise you won’t be bored.” Patting your knee, she continues typing and you watch carefully now. This is where you will be until the case is over so you intend to make the absolute best of it. Everyone on the team has their own special skills and now is the time to learn from Garcia. 

“So what exactly are you looking for right now?” 

“I am compiling a list of the victim’s friends and family, plus witnesses from the robberies who might be able to give us any information. This will give the others a clear list of where to go first. I’m also seeing what I can find about the people who were at the banks on the days of the robberies in case there’s anything useful they need to know. Financial troubles, criminal records, anything to possibly link the witnesses to one another.” Scooting your chair forward so you can see better, you lean an elbow on the desk. 

“What can I help with?” You ask hopefully. 

“Oh, I think that was the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. I can’t even count on one hand how many times I’ve had someone down here and all they do is sit and look over my shoulder. Sorry, rambling. I can get you logged into a monitor here and it looks like the next thing on my list was looking into the victim’s workplace. Sound good?” 

“Yes, absolutely.” She moves over quickly and gets a separate monitor opened so you can begin researching. 

“We’ll probably do what research we can in the next twenty to thirty minutes and then we’ll call the team to tell them what we’ve found out.” With that, you make quick work of doing everything you can in the time you have. Even if it is the last thing you ever do, you will prove to Aaron Hotchner just how valuable a team member you are. 

++++++++++

The jet takes off fairly soon once the team is onboard. They all stow their go-bags and begin settling in for the flight. It is going to be a longer one today so they are all preparing themselves for the journey. Aaron finds a seat near a far window where he sets the case file down in front of himself and begins reading. His mind is swimming with thoughts and he will do anything to quiet them. The scene plays out over and over in his head, the memory still painfully fresh. Why had he said those things? He was unnecessarily harsh and he is fully aware of this. Now the first memory you’ll have of starting your dream job will be your new boss treating you appallingly. What had even compelled him to speak to you that way? Seeing you had overwhelmed him. The way you looked when you came into his office for the first time. The way your hair framed your face, the light hopefulness in your eyes, the way you captivated him with your movements. Standing there, just feet away from him, you had looked just as beautiful as the first day he met you. God, why did he lie like that? How could he have said he didn’t recognize you when you had stayed in his thoughts more times than he would like to admit over the past year? All the emotions he felt at the mere thought of you made him nauseous and he had no way of understanding them. As badly as he felt for it, he knew that for the time being it would be best to let you work from the BAU headquarters. 

“Hotch, are you okay?” JJ’s voice brings him quickly back to reality. The fact that she could see how deeply in thought he was makes him feel an odd sense of shame and he straightens in his seat. 

“Of course, I’m fine.” With this, she goes back to her own seat. With a huff of exhaustion, Hotch continues reading. The cabin is silent for a time as the other team members sit reading their case files. 

“So,” Morgan’s voice breaks the quiet. “What do we think of Y/N?” The mention of your name causes Hotch to perk up against his will. 

“Well, I like her.” Emily is the first to chime in. “I know you guys all got to meet her before me but there’s just something about her. An inherent sweetness. I’m really excited to work with her.” 

“Me, too,” JJ says next. “I thought she was kind and open. In this job, that kind of personality is hard to find. I just hope the things she sees doesn’t cause her to lose that. The world needs more kind people, not less. She seems tough though. I think she can handle it.” 

“I totally agree,” Morgan adds, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. “She’s got a little bit of fierceness in her but I like that. You’ve gotta be tough to do this job but she’s also sweet. That’s important too. Plus, that kid’s got the cutest smile. Kind of reminds me of my sisters.” At the mention of your smile, Hotch closes his eyes briefly trying to picture that smile directed at him. He quickly catches himself and looks back down at the file. 

“Well, I can’t say I know her that well yet but she seems intelligent. She certainly has eagerness to learn. I think that will help her be successful. It’s very ... refreshing.” Spencer says with a small smile.

“I agree. Right off the bat she’s got a very likable energy,” Rossi begins letting himself trail off for a moment. “Although, I have to say there is something about her that is so familiar. I can’t quite place how I might know her though. Her name too, I recognize it. For a second I thought she recognized me too but I can’t be sure.” The rest of the team watches him for a moment as he tries to recollect how he knows you but he quickly comes up blank. “I’m sure I’ll think of it eventually. Nevertheless she seems like a good kid. I’m excited to see her at work. Just a shame we’ll all have to wait.” 

Hearing this Aaron shifts in his seat, knowing that the comment is directed at him since he was the one that made you stay behind. He is suddenly very aware of the other team members looking at him. 

“Yeah, Hotch. Why isn’t she here? I thought for sure you’d wanna see what she can do.” Derek locks eyes with Aaron, causing him to debate how to answer the question. All his life Hotch has worked to control his feelings and the way that they manifest so his face remains expressionless as he thinks for a short second.

“I think that for right now her time would be better spent helping Garcia and getting used to her new environment. I agree that she does seem very intelligent and more than capable. I would just like to speak with her one on one first before thrusting her into the high intensity atmosphere that comes with our line of work.” However, this answer doesn’t seem to satisfy Morgan’s curiosity. 

“She told me when she came out of your office that you said you didn’t remember her. Is that true?” This continued line of questioning makes his blood begin to boil. Aaron Hotchner of all people knows that lies are what cause the foundations of trust to crumble. If he can’t be honest with himself, how can he expect to be honest with his team? And yet, he finds himself unable to expose his own misdeed. 

“Yes, that is correct. We’ve had a lot of cases come and go in the last few years and no one should be expected to remember every interaction they have in that length of time. According to her it was only one day and it was a long time ago at that. I apologized to her and she understood. That is the end of it.” 

“Look, I’m not passing judgement Hotch. I’m just saying I can understand why she was so hurt,” Hearing this causes his heart to clench. “She looks up to you. She didn’t even have to tell me that, I could just see it. You mentored her in a time that was very uncertain, when she had a lot to prove. She still has a lot to prove and I’m sure she thought that you would have her back and the first thing you tell her is that you don’t even remember who she is? I get it man, you’re under a lot of stress right now but she’s a part of your team. I just thought you of all people would be a little more sensitive than that.” 

His words cut right through Aaron’s heart like a knife but before he has a chance to say anything the laptop screen in the center of the cabin lights up, revealing you and Garcia. Glad for a break from the tension the rest of the team members look toward the screen. With one last glance at Morgan, Hotch leans towards him. “We will discuss this later.” His voice is firm and dangerous but he pulls away to look at the laptop. “What did you find?” He directs at the two of you.

Seeing him causes you to straighten in your seat as you ready yourself to put on your most professional face. Garcia begins telling everyone what she was able to find out about the victim. She has significantly more information than you do but once she’s done she allows you to share what you found. The victim worked at a local grocery store but he had been previously employed at the bank where the robbery took place. The team begin building a rough profile based on the information. You listen closely to their analysis of the unsubs, making mental notes on what you might add to the profile. Before you have a chance to add anything, Hotch thanks the two of you for your work and hangs up. For a moment, you could swear you saw a hint of sadness when he looked at you but you were sure it was just a glitch on the screen. 

“Sorry sweetpea. I could totally tell you wanted to add something. They can be pretty abrupt like that sometimes.” You simply give a small shrug. “Well, why don’t you tell me what it was? It’ll give you a little practice for building profiles.” She scoots to the edge of her chair, looking at you intently to which you give a small laugh.

“Well, as we know all of the unsubs are large burly men. The five of them could easily subdue the few weaker people that were present at each of the robberies and yet they chose to bring guns. I believe this shows that they feel a certain sense of inadequacy in their everyday lives. Despite their masculine appearance I would suspect they all have mediocre jobs where they are looked down upon or treated poorly. It’s possible that they all work at the same place but I would imagine they probably met somewhere else. Maybe a support group of some sort. The use of weapons gives them a sense of power over the victims that helps them live out their mass fantasy. The victim of the last crime scene was shot in the head which indicates some personal relationship between him and the unsub who pulled the trigger. That could be a good place to start.” 

“Well, it definitely makes sense to me. Maybe we can start looking in to possible support groups for these type of men. Oh, and anyone that might possibly have had reason to kill our victim.” Garcia immediately begins typing and you scoot closer to her side. 

“Shouldn’t we wait for the order from Hotch?” She laughs at this. 

“Trust me, sweetheart. At the end of the day he’s gonna thank us for the head start. One thing to know about the boss man. He likes to see initiative but he also wants you to follow his exact orders. It’s a fine balance but once you figure out how to work the line, he’s gonna love you for it.” The thought of Hotch loving you for anything at all in the world makes your heart flutter. Almost instantly you stop that train of thought and berate yourself for even entertaining it. 

“Well, I guess we better get started then.” The rest of the day goes smoothly. You and Garcia coordinate everything beautifully, finding a good amount of information that you save to send to Hotch at the most convenient time. The day seems to be over almost as quickly as it began and you thank Garcia before heading out to your car. The drive home seems to be much more monotonous than before. It seems like you’re back inside your apartment and stretched out on the couch before you can hardly blink. Rolling over, you reach for your phone which you had thrown on the coffee table. With a groan, you begin dialing your sister’s number. As much as today sucked there was no one in the world you’d rather vent to than your sister. 

“Well hey there babe. I’ve been patiently awaiting your call. Give me just a minute to get sat down. I want to hear every last detail.” There are sounds of shuffling on the other side of the phone as she finds a seat. “Okay, I’m all good. Now, tell me about your first day at the BAU! Was it everything you dreamed it would be?” 

“Yeah, not exactly,” You laugh. “It was kind of rough to be honest.” There is a moment of silence as you think how to begin.

“Okay. Start at the beginning, walk me through it.” 

“Alright. Well, I got inside and I was honestly just in awe of being there, just getting to stand in that room. It felt like I was invincible. Derek Morgan was the first one to talk to me. He was just as charming as I remembered. Anyway, he introduced me to the rest of the team and we got to talk for a bit which was really nice, you know? From the get go I really felt like part of the team.” 

“Now you know I hate to interrupt but all of this sounds great!” 

“Yeah, well, that was the best part of the day and it didn’t last very long. After I met everyone I went up to Aaron Hotchner’s office to give him my paperwork. I’m sure you know by now that I was pretty excited to see him again, right? Well, when I told him how excited I was to be working with him again he told me that he didn’t actually know who I was. He completely forgot about me. I mean, I guess I get it. It’s been a year and a half and he meets a lot of people. Why would he remember me specifically?”

“Y/N, don’t invalidate your own feelings. What he said upset you and it’s okay to be hurt. That would have hurt my feelings too. You’re a really great person and he sucks for not thinking about you ever since he met you.” Hearing this, you can’t help but laugh a bit. Her ability to defend you no matter what always cheers you up. 

“Thank you. I appreciate that. I just wish he thought the same. Anyway, I gave him my paperwork so I could travel with the team. They got a case this morning and I was planning to go with them but for some reason Hotch made me stay behind even though I am cleared to be in the field. It just really bummed me out because I was super ready to get out there and start working but I got benched for my very first case. He had me stay with this girl named Garcia, she’s the team’s technical analyst. I mean, she’s really sweet and we worked super well together but I just wish I could have been out there doing the things that I spent seven years of my life training for.” 

“I am so sorry. That sucks. I know how excited you were. Look at the bright side, this is only your first case. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to get out there and prove yourself. It’s all gonna work out.” Unable to keep from smiling, you roll over on your side. 

“Thanks. I really hope you’re right.” Sensing the fact that you’re still upset she decides to help by changing the subject. 

“So, who all did you meet today? I know you already knew a few of the team members but was there anybody new?” 

“Yeah, Elle and Gideon are no longer there. I’m really sad I missed getting to work with them but the people I met seem really amazing. The first girl I met was named Emily Prentiss. She was really nice. The other was a guy named David Rossi.” When you finish your sentence there is nothing but silence on the other end of the phone. You wait a minute for your sister’s response but there is nothing. Before you can ask what’s wrong she chimes in again. 

“Did you say David Rossi?” There is a tone in her voice that you don’t recognize and it causes concern to stir in your stomach. 

“Yeah, why? What’s up?” There is another moment of silence. 

“It’s -- it’s nothing. I shouldn’t bring it up. You’ve already had a rough day.” As if she can sense your anxiety she continues. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad. I promise I’ll tell you later, okay? I just don’t think we should talk about it right now, that’s all.” As much as you want to pry you can tell that no matter how much you ask, you’re not getting the answer out of her. With a sense of unease you agree and try changing the conversation again. Once you’ve changed the topic to something other than work you can feel her ease again and the two of you talk for nearly 45 minutes. After a while you decide to call it a night and shortly afterwards you find yourself in bed. You hadn’t even realized how exhausted you were until your head hit the pillow. Your sleep is dreamless which you decide in the morning is probably a good thing. 

++++++++++

The remainder of the case is spent hunkered down in Garcia’s office either doing frantic research or simply getting to know one another. In just a short while the two of you become very fast friends. You realize quickly that you share a lot of common interests and all of your conversations are endlessly fascinating. It also doesn’t take you very long to realize that you actually enjoy the work that you do with her. There is quite a bit of skill required to dig as deeply and accurately as the two of you do. It is a race against the clock to find everything you need in order to help the team and there is a certain level of excitement that comes with that. Of course you still wish you were out in the field but in the end you learn a lot and make a good friend along the way. The case ends rather succinctly with all five unsubs found and arrested with no more casualties along the way. It’s a good feeling, knowing that you helped to catch the bad guys and no one had to die for you to do so. The day the team is set to return you and Garcia head out for coffee before they show up, figuring that you deserve a little treat after all of your hard work. You make light conversation as you make your way back into the building just in time for the team to arrive. You watch them each make their way to their desks, setting down their bags and taking a moment to rest. Of course the last one to walk in is Hotch who heads straight up to his office, shutting the door behind him. 

When you feel like it’s an appropriate time you make your way over to Morgan’s desk. Upon seeing you his lips crack into a wide smile. 

“Well hey sweetheart! I have to say, you did awesome work on this case.” As he says this, he extends his hand for a high five which you quickly grant him. “I know it wasn’t easy having to sit out but you did great. I’m proud of you.” It takes everything in you not to blush. 

“Thanks. I learned a lot and I made a good friend along the way.”

“Yeah, Garcia’s pretty great isn’t she?” He says with a knowing smile.

“She definitely is. She talks about you a lot, you know.” 

“Oh, I know. Baby girl just can’t stop thinking about me. Not that I blame her, of course.” At this you lightly punch his arm. 

“You are both such teases.” This makes Morgan laugh. 

“We gotta keep things interesting.” He leans forward as though he’s about to start his paperwork but he quickly leans back to look at you. “Hey, now that I’m back we gotta go out for drinks tonight. Everyone else is already game so long as you are.” 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You confirm with a grin.

“Great. You know, I’d say I’m buying but I kind of feel like you owe me.” Your brow furrows in confusion.

“What do you mean by that?” 

“Well, I was trying to get some answers for you so I asked Hotch why he wouldn’t let you on the case and he royally chewed me out for it. In his defense I probably shouldn’t have asked in front of the rest of the team but that decision still just doesn’t sit right with me.” Morgan’s words mingle in your head. It doesn’t sit right with you either but it isn’t really your place to question your boss’ orders. 

“I’m sorry he got upset with you. I do appreciate you defending me though. You’re my knight in shining denim.”

“Anytime kid. I’m happy to help.” Getting to talk to Morgan has almost instantly lifted your spirits. However, it doesn’t take long for your heart to drop into your stomach. 

“Agent L/N. May I speak to you in my office please?” You hadn’t even noticed that Hotch had come out of his office until his voice drew your attention to him. With a quick look at Morgan, who gives you a reassuring glance, you push yourself off his desk and make your way over to where Hotch is standing. Once you’re at his side he extends a hand, allowing you to step inside first. He follows quickly, shutting the door behind him. “Please, have a seat.” He says, gesturing towards a leather couch on the far wall. As you begin to sit on one end he takes up residence on the other, his knee just inches away from yours. Once you’re both settled he focuses all of his attention on you. He doesn’t seem angry but you aren’t holding your breath. It’s best to just stay professional and speak with him earnestly. 

“I’m glad to see you all back safely sir.” You begin. After the stress of the case, you want to make sure he knows that as hurt as you were by his previous decision you harbor no ill will towards him. 

“Thank you. It’s not very often that cases end as well as this one did. You understand that, don’t you? This was a special circumstance.” 

“Yes, I realize that. I’m just grateful that it did end happily even if it was just this once.” There is an intensity in the way he watches you.

“Good. I just want to make sure you fully know what to expect.” 

“I do sir. I did the day that I applied for school. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” Staying silent for a moment he nods as if in thought. 

“I know before I left I said we would be able to talk. I’d like to learn a little bit more about you and from there I’ll be able to evaluate your abilities before taking you into the field. I know it wasn’t the decision you were hoping for but I hope you understand it nonetheless.”

“Of course. It’s not my place to question you and in the end I learned a lot from Garcia. Plus she was nice to work with.” 

“Good. I’m very glad to hear that you were able to make the most of the situation.” He stops for a moment, his gaze relaxing. “I wanted to tell you how well you did on this case. A challenge was presented to you and you handled it with grace. The information you provided was incredibly helpful and your suggestions were very well thought out. I was very impressed.” The softness in his eyes as he praises you leaves a fluttering sensation in your stomach. Throughout the entirety of the case you had been so hell bent on proving yourself to him and hearing him say that you had done well made every hour of hard work worth it. As much as your heart is singing you have to remind yourself to be calm. Even though he is being kind to you now, he had made his feelings known to you during your first meeting. There is no reason to read into things. Clearly he doesn’t feel what you feel. 

“Thank you sir. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed when I was left behind but I realized that I’m grateful to be here no matter what. I worked really hard to get here, to be doing this kind of work, and not everyone gets the chance to do what they’re truly meant to be doing. As heartbreaking as the outcome of this job usually is, I can’t imagine myself doing anything else.” With every word the two of you are locked into one another’s eyes. For a moment you can almost swear he is holding his breath. 

“I appreciate that sense of purpose. I will always support my team but it makes it easier with members who are invested.” 

“I am. Completely. I’m here. I know you haven’t gotten a real chance to see me work but please know that my heart is in this.” 

“That was never in question,” Hotch pauses, letting his eyes fall to his lap as he considers his next sentence. “I believe now that I made a rash decision in asking you to stay behind. I can see that you are mentally prepared to be in the field. I apologize for my harsh words. I of course can’t say anything for your physical performance yet but I won’t be able to evaluate the full extent of your abilities until I am able to watch you in the field. On the next case I would like you to join the rest of the team.” A breath of relief leaves your lips.

“Of course. I’m ready to get to work.”

“I know. You’ll have the chance soon enough. In the meantime, if you have any questions or concerns feel free to come speak with me.” 

“Thank you sir.” Hotch simply nods in response, beginning to stand. You follow his actions, gathering that he is done with the conversation. As you make your way to the door, feeling much lighter than when you came in, he stops you.

“Agent L/N,” The sound of his voice causes you to turn back. “I just wanted to say again that I’m sorry for not remembering you. I never meant to hurt you. It isn’t that you were forgettable. It’s just that a lot has happened in the last year.” This apology seems much more heartfelt than before and you try to hide a smile. 

“I forgive you, sir.” With that you take your leave, making your way right back to Morgan’s desk. The shift in your mood must be palpable because he looks up at you with a smile.

“That’s not the face of someone that just got yelled at by Hotch.” 

“No, no he didn’t yell at me. He was just telling me I did a good job and he cleared me to work in the field on the next case.” 

“Good for you, kid. I’m glad we’re finally gonna get a chance to see what you can really do,” Nodding you rest against the edge of his desk again. “Now, see? That wasn’t too bad was it?” Looking back towards Hotch’s office you can see him bent over his desk, filling out paperwork. Being able to watch him for a moment without fear of falling apart allows you to crack a small smile.

“No. I guess it wasn’t.” 

Tags:  @talesfromtheguild @lannister-slings-and-arrows @gryffindorwriter @nopeforyou @sheerfreesia007 @roxypeanut @ohpedromypedro @ssahotchie @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @readsalot73 @the-mechanical-angel @races-erster @maxlordd @pascalisthepunkest @paintballkid711​ @hotchafterhours @h0tchner @ssahotchswife @ssahotchhner @technotic-prophecy @klinenovakwinchester  @hotch-stufff @annadorothxa @canadailluminate @yoshigguk @gothicxbarbie @romanogersendgame​​

[rafescoke]

Crime ; Part 3

masterlist

Part #3

Read the previous parts here:

Part #1, Part #2

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Maybe life just doesn’t go your way sometimes. 

Warnings: heavy writings on death! angst, just two people being in love but one of them is scared

A/N: ideas are inspired by @pogueslandia literally the sweetest <3

Maybe Rafe was overthinking it. 

He ran his fingers through her hair, his arms all wrapped up around her. The golden sunlight hit them squarely on the face, and the weather never looked so inviting. 

“Stop thinking,” he whispered, pulling her close. He placed a soft kiss on the crown of her head. 

She hummed, letting him caress her. The guilt was eating her away, and she hasn't felt good for a week now. 

5 more days until John B’s death sentence. 

And yet, here she was; all wrapped up with the boy she loved in the Bahamas. 

Rafe thought it would be ideal to bring her away from the chaos. Her parents thought it was a good thing too, with all of the commotion and rebellion by the pogues. It was her second day in the strange place, but even with all of the soothing sounds coming from the waves, she couldn’t forget about John B. 

Rafe sighed, “Is it about John B?” 

“No,” she quickly said. She bit her lips, blinking to stop her tears from crashing down. 

“I love you,” Rafe breathed. His fingers stayed on her stomach, and it was a pleasing sight to see; two people in love. If only one has never committed a murder.

(Y/N) pursed her lips, because she couldn’t utter the words back. She loved him, of course, but she was scared. It wasn’t like it was Rafe’s fault entirely; he gave her a chance to confess, but she didn’t. 

Love is truly a blinding bitch. 

. . .

“You guys came back early,” Ward said, helping them out with the bags. He turned to look at (Y/N), and then back to Rafe. He sighed. 

“What is it?” 

“She’s not feeling well,” Rafe mumbled. His eyes were tired, showing how they have been fighting since god knows when. (Y/N) didn’t look any well either, keeping to herself the whole time from their departure.

Ward made to grab his arms before he could follow (Y/N) into the house. “Control her.” 

“She’s not a dog,” he said through gritted teeth. He pulled his arms away, seething. 

“She’s going to tell on you.” 

“She won’t,” Rafe answered back, but he too, wasn’t sure. 

Because all of her actions were showing him otherwise. 

She wasn’t like (Y/N) he knew anymore, but he took it as her way to cope with the situation. 

“What is wrong with you?” Rafe finally asked. He plopped onto the bed beside her, his lips curling. 

“I’m just tired.” 

“All we did in the Bahamas was sleep,” he scoffed. “You can’t use that excuse, (Y/N), come on.” 

“Maybe if you actually try to understand me you’ll get it.” 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” she sighed. She laid her back against his bed and closed her eyes, letting the darkness take over. 

“So like what? You’re going to tell the cops, huh? Is that what you’re going to do?” 

“God, can you let me breathe? We’ve just had a long fucking flight.” Her eyes opened, feeling so exhausted from the overwhelming situation. She didn’t know what to do, but fighting with Rafe was definitely not on the list. 

“Whose fucking fault is that?” He mumbled before standing up. 

Rafe exited the room, wanting to get away from her as soon as possible. He could feel it. He could see what was going to happen. He thought of this exact moment, but he didn’t really want to act on it out of fear. 

He wasn’t sure if he would ever hurt her.

Sometimes he felt like doing it, but he just couldn’t. Everytime her eyes set on him, he felt like seeing her for the first time again. 

“Hey, I’m sorry.”

(Y/N) wrapped her arms around Rafe’s waist as he stood near the railing of the porch. The sun was setting in, and it would look so mesmerising; just them two, but the feeling was long gone. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered, and breathed into her scent. 

His girl. His. 

. . .

(Y/N) was sleeping right beside him. 

She looked so peaceful, her hair fixed to one side and her chest heaving slowly. 

He couldn’t help but place a soft kiss on her temple. 

She shifted, groaning slightly. 

Rafe panicked, “Shit, I’m so sorry, baby. Go back to sleep.” 

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” She grunted, shifting her position to face him. “It’s midnight.” 

“Can’t sleep.” 

(Y/N) sighed, and pulled him close to her. “Go to sleep.” 

He smiled, laying his head against her chest now, and he could feel her heart beating. 

A few minutes after, he felt her poking him. “You’re asleep yet?” 

“No.” 

“Wanna go swimming?” 

“Where?” 

“The beach.” 

Rafe smiled, “You’re not tired?” 

“Am tired. But you can’t sleep.” 

She guided him to the exit, her hair messy from her slumber before. The moonlight glowed from above, illuminating the pathway to the beach behind her home. 

They sat on the beach for a while, just staring into the never ending landscape, until Rafe pulled her close again. 

“I love you.” 

(Y/N) smiled. “I know.”

She couldn’t. She just couldn’t utter it back. 

He removed his shirt, revealing his toned figure, and pulled her up her feet. She giggled, removing her own tank top and shimmying out of her shorts. She was completely naked now, and allowed herself to be pulled into the water. 

Strange enough, the water was not too cold or too hot. Just perfect. It was like the night was made for them. 

She giggled when Rafe pulled her further into the darkness, and a sudden thought of a strange creature in the water occurred to her. 

She reached for Rafe, her eyes trying to see through the water even though it was nearly impossible. 

Rafe laughed, holding her tight. Her chest was all pushed up against him, and he had never looked at something more beautiful than her. 

“We’re gonna die.” 

“Probably,” he rolled his eyes. “Maybe there’s that dinosaur from Jurassic World down here.”

She hit Rafe from the sudden thought of a monster underneath her, and went to swim away. Rafe laughed again, pulling her quickly by her wrist and letting her lay against his chest again. 

“I’m kidding. I’ll kill a monster for you.” 

They stared at each other again, breathing in each other’s presence, and finally, he closed in the distance. 

She melted into the kiss, feeling so good she never wanted to let go of that boy. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close, and it was all so perfect; 

Like something out of a book. 

“You’re perfect,” he whispered. He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, admiring her eyes, and placed another soft kiss. “So, so perfect.” 

(Y/N) smiled, always loving this side of Rafe. The side she knew before he. . .

She made to move away, but Rafe grabbed her again. He sighed, “What is it?” 

“I have to go,” she mumbled, and swam towards the beach. Rafe pulled her again, still so unsatisfied, because the moment was perfect, right?

They were kissing, he was telling her that he loved her. 

What else could he do? 

“What did I do?”

“Rafe, just let go,” she said, and pried her hands away. 

This time, he let her go. 

. . . 

Rafe thought it was finally time to make it right again. 

His relationship was getting rockier, and he intended for a smooth ride again. He straightened the dark blue suit he got from Chapel Hill, eyeing his watch from time to time. 

“Hey,” (Y/N) smiled, brushing her fingertips along his face. 

The gazebo was set exactly like the first time they met; all bright with fairy lights and smelled of floral candles. Her breath hitched at the sudden memory of that night. 

“You don’t have to do this,” she said. 

“I want to,” Rafe shrugged, helping her to her seat. He brushed her hair for good measure before going back to his seat. “You’re okay?”

She shifted uncomfortably, “Yeah.” 

They ate in silence. The only sound came from the clanking of the cutleries and the plate, and the constant sipping of the wine. 

Okay. Maybe what she did was wrong. 

But he’ll get out of it, right? 

He got money, the best lawyer in the states, and a high position. 

They wouldn’t put him through the death sentence.

Right? 

“I think it’s time,” Rafe said suddenly. (Y/N) looked up from her plate, her heart thumping wildly. Her eyes scanned the lake, and back to him. 

Rafe walked towards her, his mouth forming a bright smile. He reached for his pocket, pulling out a white box-

No. This couldn’t be.

(Y/N) won’t accept this. 

She simply just won’t. 

They’re too young. 

Too afraid. 

“No,” she said, scraping her chair to the back. “No, Rafe.” 

Rafe’s smile disappeared, his eyes turning low. “What?”

“No. I, I- I won’t accept it.” 

The diamond ring glimmered under the lantern, and (Y/N) noticed something similar from it. 

Her breath hitched.

Of course it would be the same promise ring she threw at him last year. Except it was updated. 

“It’s my mom’s ring,” he took a step closer. “What’s wrong? Don’t you want this?” 

More than anything. 

Her chest heaved, and she quickly put her hands up before him, as if protecting herself. “Rafe, I can’t. I’m so sorry.” 

He took a step closer, because god, he was so, so confused. He loved her more than anything in the world; more than himself. 

He was unsure about a lot of things, but not this. 

“Rafe,” she warned, still putting her hands up. “Please? I’m sorry.” 

“I don’t understand?” He whispered. His eyes were now filled with tears, and (Y/N) used all of her energy to stay away from him. 

For her own good. 

“I just can’t.” 

She stole a glance at his watch. She glanced at the lake again, her heart beating wildly. 

“Did I do something wrong?” 

“No,” she said. His forehead creased, and the tears were now completely wetting his suit. The ring was still left untouched in the box, still glimmering in the hope to be wrapped around someone’s finger. 

“Is it because-” he whispered. “Is it because of JJ? Did I do something wrong?”

“Rafe, stop,” she shook her head. “It’s not anyone’s fault. Let it go.” 

He took a deep breath. The box closed with a snap, and Rafe kept it back securely in his pocket. He held his head, walking away from her, muttering curses incoherently. 

“We can still be together.” 

“Fuck off,” he laughed. He pressed his back against one of the railings, closing his eyes and admitting to the darkness. His head felt light, and his fingers were trembling. 

“Rafe-” she walked towards him, placing a hand against his cheeks. He leaned into her, feeling her warmth, and didn’t try to stop the tears from falling. “I’m sorry, okay?” 

It was like falling down from a cliff; too fast, and everything happened in just a blink of an eye. 

Lights were coming from all directions, hitting them squarely on the face. Rafe protected his eyes from the red and blue lights, groaning, all the while searching for (Y/N). 

But she wasn’t there. 

“What the fuck?” He said to no one in particular, looking around wildly. Whatever the reason was, the police were coming to him; straight and fast. He knew he didn’t have time to reach for his car, not without (Y/N). 

“We’re not going to hurt you, son,” a voice bellowed from the lake. Rafe tried to see the figure, but the light was too blinding. “We’re going to make it fast and easy.” 

“What did I do?” He said, still trying to keep his cool, but it was failing miserably.

Anyone could see that Rafe Cameron was scared. 

Maybe it was the rejection from earlier. He didn’t know. What he was sure of was; he wanted to get away. 

The gazebo was guarded by the police now, and (Y/N) was nowhere to be seen. He sighed, taking a seat on her chair and grabbing the wine bottle. He downed the content, his heart beating wildly and his forehead clammy. 

It’s time. 

. . .

He had never felt this painful before. 

His head was throbbing, and his chest was soaring with agony in all the right places. He trembled as he sat up straight, trying to clear off his blurriness. 

It failed miserably when he reached for the toilet bowl, emptying his already empty stomach for the third time today. Rafe was sure 98% of the vomit was his bile, and he wished for nothing more than death. 

Everyone does this to him.

Every. Single. Person. 

Ward tried helping him, hiring the best lawyer in the United States of America, but the chances for him to be freed were low. So, so low. 

They told him that he did multiple offenses in one go.

He couldn’t name any of it, and he has accepted his fate anyways. He didn’t see the point in living when the girl he loved was no longer there in the light. 

His memory was fading really fast, and everything that happened around him seemed like a dream. He wanted to reach reality, but he wouldn’t allow himself. 

“Cameron, you got a visitor.” 

“Tell Ward that I’m okay with getting killed.” 

“It’s not your papa, boy,” the police sighed. “It’s a girl.” 

His head perked up at ‘girl’. Maybe it was Wheezie, coming to see how fucked up her brother is. He bit his lips, stopping the incoming tears from the thought of Wheezie alone. 

He followed the officer down the jail, his eyes scanning the other cellmates. Some jeered at him, knowing him as the ‘rich boy who never got himself into jail because of money’, and loving the fact that Rafe Cameron was finally getting the treatment he deserved. 

Rafe sat in the empty room, his eyes staring at the bent part of the metal table. He remembered this room clearly; the room he was forced into questioning and had seen him cry until there were no tears left to cry. 

He waited a few more seconds, only hearing some noisy sounds coming from the old air conditioning. 

“Okay, thank you.” 

His head turned to behind him, hearing her voice so clearly now that his heart was soaring again. He watched as she entered the small room, not looking at him, and placed herself before him. 

“Hi, Rafe.” 

Rafe stared at her, not saying anything. His thumbs were fiddling with each other under the handcuffs, and his legs were shaking wildly. 

He had missed her more than anything in the world. 

She looked so much healthier; her hair was up in a ponytail, and her cheeks were rosy and bright. 

She didn’t look miserable like him. 

“How are you?” 

What a stupid question. 

“What do you think?” He asked, tilting his head to one side. “Are you my therapist, or something? Did Ward hire some kind of a prison therapist to help me stay positive until the day I’m hanged?” 

She sucked in a breath. “Rafe, I’m trying to help you.” 

“Congra-tu-fucking-lations,” he smiled. “I’m getting the death sentence. Would you care to watch me getting hanged tomorrow? It'll be like seeing me play volleyball on the beach like last time.” 

Oh god.

She didn’t know.

How could she? 

They told her that everything will be alright, that he will be released after paying a large sum of money. It would be unfair to the sheriff, but at least no one is getting killed at the end of the day. 

How could she be so fucking naive? 

“I didn’t know.” 

He laughed, “It’s okay. Would you come and see me though? It’ll be a damn pleasure.” 

“Rafe, stop,” she said, clutching onto the table. “You’re not getting hanged, okay? I’m sorry. I’ll get you out of this.” 

He softened, finally realizing what he had been saying. He sighed, still fiddling with his thumb, and looked at her again. “There’s nothing else left to do. We did everything.” 

“No, no, I can fix this-”

“(Y/N),” he sighed. He placed his cuffed hands on the table, asking for hers, and she gladly accepted them. She bit her lips, failing to stop her tears now that she felt him around her again. 

Her sweet, sweet boy. 

“It’s okay,” he said. “I accepted it. It’s my fault. There’s nothing you can do.”

There was a knock on the door, and (Y/N) jerked slightly from the sudden commotion.

3 more minutes. 

“It doesn’t have to be this way.” 

“There’s no other way,” he whispered. “But you will always be my love, okay?” 

She held him in her fingers now, caressing his face. She ran his fingers over the new scratches on his face a few times, soothing the pain down, and placed a soft, longing kiss on his lips. 

He kissed her back, feeling better slightly, and only pulled away when the second knock rang throughout the room. 

“Yes, by the way.” 

“What?” He asked, confused. His eyes were teary because god, he wished he could do better for her. 

For them. 

“Yes to marrying you.” 

He laughed. What a stupid thing to say a day before his death sentence. But he loved it. More than anything else in the world. He softened, “I don’t have the ring.” 

She guided his hands, sliding an imaginary ring over her ring finger, and she examined it admiringly under the white light. 

“Thank you,” he said. 

It was brief; their moment of happiness, but it was enough for Rafe. He couldn’t think of anything better than this, knowing that the love of his life had accepted to be with him.

(Y/N) pulled him in for another kiss as the last knock blared, and they stayed in that position after the door was opened, revealing the same officer who had brought her in. She gave (Y/N) a warm pat on the back, allowing her to give Rafe another long, last kiss. 

He could still taste her when she walked out, her eyes all wet now, her mouth whimpering. 

He put a hand up, waved it slightly to the right, his own eyes glassy. 

“I love you,” he mouthed. 

. . . 

Rafe didn’t know what to expect the next morning. 

He watched many crime documentaries and movies involving a death penalty before, but he never truly put his mind on what he would be feeling on the walk to the inviting creature called death. 

After (Y/N), Ward came to see him. They didn’t say much, only exchanging a few words of “how are you?” And “I’m okay”. But it was clear Ward Cameron was broken at the sight of his son. 

He failed as a father. 

He wished he could’ve been a better father to Rafe, because god, he loved him too much. He even thought of admitting to the crime, but the crime was too strong on Rafe’s side. 

He gave his one and only son a last, longing hug. They held each other in complete silence, just feeling the moment until an officer came, pulling Rafe away. 

He didn’t even get to say I love you. 

“You’re okay?” 

Rafe looked at whoever was responsible to kill him beside him, and nodded. “Yep.” 

He looked down at his white suit and sighed. “Can I wear something proper?” 

The man pushed him into the room, annoyed at his impulsive words. 

This boy just killed a goddamn sheriff, and he was still joking? 

“Rot in hell,” he told Rafe, to which he accepted the remark willingly. 

The executioner motioned for him to step on the tool, and Rafe thought about the simpler times in his childhood where he was told to stand on a stool in middle school by a teacher for kicking on a boy who touched Sarah on her newly washed hair. 

He couldn’t even remember the last time he saw her. 

The executioner, blinded by the black cloth around his head, looped the rope around his neck, and Rafe involuntarily swallowed his saliva. 

He looked down at his fingers, imagining his wedding ring. He smiled, looking up to the ceiling, watching as the white light blinded his eyes. 

Maybe in another life. 

-

@okayshoto @joselyn001 @onceuponateenagetrash @dyingsleeping @iwannabeapogue @meaganjm @rafesobxs @flossy2929 @unfortunatekiwitrash @scottybitch @asimpwriter @amaya124 @tommy-tommo @thatshithurted8 @fallincindy @marvelwhor3 @rafeswh0ree @kookap @supernaturallydc-blog @blank-velvet @alaniskauany @kiiim8 @witchywrter @kaitlyn2907 @heyimflo @overcookedpastasause @tsukkiswifeey @spidey-d00d @anonymousobxfan @gotmeinloveagain @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @lexi-writes @classydragonthingknight @belongtoyou-u @badbussylol @savannah-elliott @angelreyesgirl100 @haterpenny @beehappyyy @alwaysclassyeagle @maybankslut @kayleea122 @clearbolts @lovelyxtom @christianaevans @jemimah-b99 @opierdalacz @dangerdolns @wildflowerliv @classygirlything21 @pogueslandia

[puppypeter]

✨ All fics are complete! ✨

He Loves Me Cause I’m Cute, He Thinks I’m Pretty Funny | 2588 words 📱

He watches it back one more time after it posts, checking for typos in his subtitles and captions, and has to laugh again.

Steve fucking Rogers? His brain thought he could pull Captain America, literal superhero and America’s favorite sweetheart?

“Hello I’m a 35 year old amputee living in New York and I think that I could get Steve Rogers.”

OR

the one where bucky posts a tiktok and steve is utterly smitten.

Summer Slipped Us Underneath Her Tongue | 10712 words 🧳

Bucky is a tour guide who enjoys sharing the rich history and culture of each city they pass through with a bunch of early-20's college students who just want to know the cheapest place to get drunk.

Except for Steve, who asks Bucky for a personal tour around his hometown.

The rest is, as they say, history.

You Make My Heart Skip A Beet | 3853 words 🧑🏼‍🍳

“I made soda bread.” Steve lets out the 6’2” supersoldier equivalent of a squeak. “Oh, I love soda bread,” he says eagerly, rolling forward on the balls of his feet like he does when he gets excited. “My mom used to make it all the time when I was growing up.” The tips of Barnes’s ears turn red, and he mutters something that sounds suspiciously like, “I know.”

Ollie Meets Bagel | 5517 words 🥯

He was a skater boy, Steve said let's get bagels, boy.

Steve wants to start doing this twenty-first century thing properly. He gets help in the form of skateboarding, skateboarders, bagels, and Sam Wilson.

Taxi | 5113 words 🚕

Bucky Barnes was, he hoped, a good taxi driver.

He's so good, he actually tries to return lost property that ends up left in his car and... well. It has some unexpected consequences involving a National Icon.

Enough said.

Leg Day | 12157 words 🏋️‍♂️

“So talk to him,” Sam says.

“I can’t,” Bucky groans. “I can’t, Sam, I. He just.” He fluffs his hair up and stares at Sam, distraught. “I want him to bench press me.”

“Okay, so it’s serious,” Sam interprets. “Got it."

(Or: The one where Sam is Bucky's long-suffering roommate, Bucky is a hot mess of a millennial, and Hot Steve spends far too much time on the Lat Pull-Down machine.)

Love In Aisle Four | 2127 words 🛍️

When Bucky needs to swing by the supermarket after a long, hard day of work, the last thing he expects is to meet a cute grocery clerk named Steve…

Coming Up Easy | 45515 words ✍🏻

“Listen, I was just thinking,” Steve says, his face open, eyebrows raised in a tentatively hopeful expression. “Why don’t you come stay at my place for a while? I’ve got an office that I barely use, and a change of scenery might do you good, right? Help you beat that writer’s block?” With a crooked smile, he adds, “I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

While Bucky would normally crack a joke about how that’s exactly what a serial killer would say, right now, all he can do is blink at Steve in surprise, heart tripping over itself in his chest. Steve wants him to come and stay at his place. In Massachusetts. Just the two of them.

"Oh," Bucky croaks. "I- Wow."

“I mean, no pressure,” Steve says hastily. “Totally fine if you don’t wanna. I just thought I’d offer, in case it might help, y’know?”

“Yeah.” Bucky ignores the little voice in his head that sounds an awful lot Nat and Becca, telling him he’s setting himself up for heartbreak. “I mean, if you’re sure, that would be amazing.”

Anywhere The Wind Blows | 8845 words 👨‍🚒🎖️

After a catastrophic fire that shakes him to his core, Steve Rogers quits his job as a Brooklyn firefighter and relocates to a cabin in the remote Canadian wilderness, wanting quiet and solitude and to maybe never have to speak to another human being ever again. He gets his wish, more or less, until a recently injured Bucky Barnes is discharged from the Army and rents the cabin next door.

The Safer Course | 7918 words | Part 1 of Won’t You Be My Neighbor 🏡

When Steve moves to the suburbs in 2033, he intends to retire from superhero life.

He does not intend to fall in love with his pain-in-the-ass neighbor.

Every Year I Have You | 7064 words | Part 2 of Won’t You Be My Neighbor 🏡

Steve set the bar pretty high, as birthday presents go.

Bucky is determined to outdo him when July 4th comes around.

Beneath The Mistletoe | 21203 words 🎄

Bucky had a bet with his sister that if he didn’t have a boyfriend to bring home for Christmas by the time he was 25, he had to give her $200 and go blonde for a year. But now he's 25, it’s nearing December, and not only is Bucky as single as ever, but he’s also running low on cash. He doesn’t exactly want to bleach his hair, either.

At least Steve is willing to upgrade their relationship from best friends to fake boyfriends.

The Settler | 52203 words 🍞

“What do you want to do?”

Steve pauses and looks at them.

What he wants is to stay with them. He doesn't have any family left, they all died before he even joined the war and became... this. Captain America turned whatever he is now. But Natasha and Sam have become his family over the years. Not just because they're on the run together, fugitives and vigilantes, but way before that too.

He doesn't want to leave that.

But he knows that, realistically, he can't stay with them and they can't stay with him.

So he looks at them with a smile and lies. “I don't know.”

OR; In which Steve retires and finally finds a place to call home.

You Can’t Put Your Arms Around A Memory | 1148 words 🐈

"Alright, Bucky," Steve slows his steps, watches his neighbour stop at the bottom of the next flight of stairs. There's a canvas bag in his hand that Steve didn't notice earlier, cream coloured with the figure of a sleeping, black cat painted on it. "Have a good day."

He thinks Bucky's cheeks pink up a bit right then and there, but Steve can't tell. He's too distracted by his pounding, foolish heart, by the way Bucky smiles bashfully, and ducks his head. The way he seems like he wants to stay.

To Believe In Tomorrow | 3959 words 👨🏻‍🌾

Bucky's mornings at the community garden get a little more interesting when the new guy shows up.

Maybe This Christmas | 24873 words | Part 1 of Maybe ❄️

Bucky’s not going home for Christmas. But it’s fine. He’s spending Christmas alone in his apartment, but it’s cool. He’s not feeling up to seeing his family after his accident anyway, plus he has to work. He’s totally fine with it. But then he runs into Steve, literally, and suddenly his Christmas isn’t looking so empty after all.

-----

Hurrying was a bad idea. Bucky’s foot hits a patch of ice and slides out from under him in what would have been a comical cartoon banana-peel-like trip, if it wasn’t happening to him, and he braces himself to hit the ground. This is going to hurt.

“Fuck,” Bucky screeches, but as he lands on his back, it’s not the cold hard concrete he expected, but a solid mass beneath him. Oh god, Bucky thinks as he realises he smacked into the person behind him and took them down with him.

Maybe This Year (Will Be Better Than Last) | 133868 words | Part 2 of Maybe ❄️

Last year, Bucky Barnes met Steve Rogers. Well actually, he slipped and fell on him. What followed was the best Christmas either of them had ever had. But what happens when Christmas is over and life returns to normal? What happens after the Christmas miracle?

-----

Bucky should have known. He did know. When things seem too good to be true, they usually are. And Steve is the best thing that has happened to him in a long time, possibly ever, so of course it couldn’t last.

Maybe This Time (I Hope I Get The Chance To Say Goodbye) | 34561 words | Part 3 of Maybe ❄️

Steve and Bucky Barnes are happily married. They've made it through some hard times and come out stronger and happier, together. Then Steve gets called on to come out of retirement for the most important mission of his life and everything changes. Everything.

-----

“Have yourself a merry little Christmas…” Steve starts singing along softly, and Bucky chuckles, before leaning his head onto Steve’s shoulder, always happy when he’s in Steve’s arms.

“From now on, our troubles will be miles away…” Bucky joins in.

Dancing round their living room, just as in love as ever, their troubles seem light-years away, if not non-existent.

Sadly, they’re closer than they think.

The Unexpected Gift | 9504 words | Part 1 of When Winter Comes 🐕

Steve Rogers is fine.

After ending a long-term relationship with Sam Wilson, Steve moves back to New York. He's tired and lonely but depressed? No. At least, that's what he thinks.

From the window of his apartment, he watches a dark-haired man and his service dog sitting in the park, wondering what his story is.

The Winter Storm | 2218 words | Part 2 of When Winter Comes 🐕

"If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability you see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me."

After Bucky and Steve confessed their feelings for each other, life has its own twisted way to challenge the most profound love.

One January Night | 4213 words | Part 3 of When Winter Comes 🐕

Before going back to work, Steve Rogers still has things to learn: 1- Depression is a bitch and the battle against it isn't an easy one. 2- Dating a person with disabilities comes with its share of challenges.

Bucky Barnes Has His Shit Together (And Other Lies He Tells Himself) | 14159 words 🔒

You’d think a guy who owns one of the most successful bakeries in Brooklyn, has a million-dollar smile and that antiquated good ol’ boy charm, blond hair and blue eyes and biceps for days, would know what’s what.

But don’t let that fool you: Steve Rogers is a mess.

Obvious | 917 words ☕

"Oh, I have a prompt! So, it makes me laugh how painfully obvious Steve and Bucky's feelings are to everyone when they're in that pining, slowburn, does-he-doesn't-he phase. But imagine Steve and Bucky working in a coffee shop together and constantly bickering, nudging and playfully flirting with each other. And all the employees and patrons are so invested in their relationship and just want them to kiss already but no one realizes that Steve and Bucky have been married since they got out of HS."

[labarch]

Witch Hats and Prejudice Part II

<-- Part I

Olruggio, my love, my man, I’m sorry your proposal to Qifrey in chapter 40 didn’t go as you hoped, let’s sit down and discuss your workaholism, temper issues and saviour complex, yes? Yes. It’s couple therapy time at last, we’ll have a look at Qifrey and Olruggio’s relationship and at chapter 40 in particular through the following points:

-Panelling in the Orufrey conversation in chapter 40

-Prejudice and power imbalance in Qifrey and Olruggio’s interactions

-Help as a collaboration between equals (spoiler: they haven’t made it to that stage yet)

-What Olruggio wants from Qifrey

 Panelling in the Orufrey conversation in chapter 40

The conversation in chapter 40 is never framed as a happy reunion. If we reuse the analysis of the panels from Coco and Qifrey’s conversation I made in my previous post, we find the same markers of unease between Olruggio and Qifrey. Most of the panels are narrow, and get darker and darker as night falls. Qifrey and Olruggio rarely share a panel, and even when they do, they rarely make direct eye contact: Qifrey looks down, or Olruggio walks away from him, or they are curled in on themselves or standing on a slope at different eye level. For a while Qifrey is up in the air and mostly talking to himself. Oh yeah, and there’s a hat that gets in the way at some point.

It gives the sense that they are having two separate conversations, and that they never truly achieve the connection that we saw between Qifrey and Coco. On top of that, while the conversation is supposed to be about comforting Qifrey and earning his trust, Olruggio never manages to get a smile out of him, except for wobbly, miserable little grimaces. So what’s going through both of their heads, and why are they failing to meet halfway?

The chapter has an outward pull to it. The scene takes place on a slope that leads away from the atelier. The chapter opens with a herd of dragons flying away and into the night. Then Qifrey takes flight to look into the distance, while giving a very contradictory speech about how fulfilling yet dull his life is here, how happy yet trapped in an illusion he feels. He has to hold on to his cape as it flaps in the wind. It brings those dragons back to mind, like they are a metaphor for the side of him that wishes to escape. Qifrey’s migration season is just starting folks, it’s a confusing time for him okay.

In contrast to Qifrey looking ahead into a dark wilderness, Olruggio in this chapter is almost always looking back. He walks away from Qifrey to talk to him over his shoulder, or he looks back towards the atelier. In the only scene where he faces Qifrey full-on, the past is so present on his mind that he de-ages them both. It’s interesting, because it adds a caveat to his pledge of listening to everything Qifrey has to say: he is not so much trying to adapt to Qifrey’s new situation as he is trying to bring them back to the childhood stage of their friendship, when they were always together and kept no secret.

This whole looking ahead / looking back dichotomy brings me back to the mentality of the Great Hall, a society obsessed with keeping itself in an insulated bubble, wrapping itself in good intentions and noble ideals, and ignoring its own inner darkness and complexity. Qifrey, because of his inability to be content and stay in place, threatens that delicate balance. That sends the other witches around him into such a state of panic and outrage that even those who genuinely love him end up lashing out at him with uncharacteristic brutality.

Prejudice and power imbalance in Qifrey and Olruggio’s interactions

I have described in my previous post how vicious and oddly personal Beldaruit got in his attacks against Qifrey in chapter 36, but you can make the same case for Olruggio, especially since the two scenes run in parallel. There is something excessive about the violence with which Olruggio confronts his friend. For one, he is choosing a hell of a time to do it: the girls are safe, there is no urgency to press Qifrey for answers right this instant – except if he is hoping to shock Qifrey into honesty while he’s disoriented. Qifrey has just woken up from a three-day coma; he is half-naked in a place Olruggio knows worsens his nightmares; his scar is exposed; he is half-blind because Olruggio has taken his glasses; Olruggio is literally an angry dark blob looming over him. I’ve often heard it say that Qifrey is manipulative towards Olruggio, but in return Olruggio isn’t above using intimidation tactics against him, consciously or not.

There is also the staggering lack of empathy of the approach: what started this whole thing is that Olruggio learnt about Qifrey’s impending blindness. And his knee-jerk reaction was to attack Qifrey about it. Like, um, my dude, your friend almost died, he is going to go blind and lose his job, you wanna try being sensitive about it? (Note that Qifrey running after the Brimhats didn’t trouble Olruggio that much at first: after his interview with the Knights Moralis he is mainly concerned with “getting his story straight with Qifrey”; it’s only later on, when we see him staring at the glasses he’s just repaired, that he starts voicing his doubts about Qifrey’s intentions). He may be right to suspect that Qifrey is hiding things from him, but there’s a pretty big leap between “you are keeping secrets” and “you are wilfully using your own child as bait”.

This whole suspicious climate, that makes Olruggio jump straight to the ugliest conclusion possible, is once again a feature of the Great Hall mentality. The mind of a person who has been in contact with forbidden magic is forever corrupt, and his actions are forever suspect. Had Qifrey been anyone else, he would probably have been given the benefit of the doubt for losing track of his students while he was, you know, extremely concussed and suffering from blood loss. Interestingly, Olruggio’s concern – whether, when faced with a chance to go after the Brimhats, Qifrey would choose his quest over his students’ safety – is addressed as early as chapter 22: after an instinctive movement to rush into danger, Qifrey pulls himself back and takes measures to keep Coco and Tetia safe, and even plans to call Olruggio and the Knights Moralis as reinforcements to help rescue the others. Then he gets hit in the head by a giant snake golem, and the rest is history.

In general, Beldaruit’s and Olruggio’s accusations that Qifrey is using Coco as bait without caring for her wellbeing just don’t hold up. First, all the attacks by the Brimhats so far have occurred in completely mundane, teaching-related settings with other adults present (at the stationary shop, or during an exam), so pushing blame onto Qifrey clearly comes from prejudice rather than evidence. Second, if Qifrey’s sole aim was to get clues on the Brimhats, he would pressure Coco into taking the Librarian test as early as possible, but we keep seeing the opposite: he encourages her to take breaks and to enjoy her training rather than be laser-focused on her goals. Hilariously, out of the two tests Coco passed so far, Qifrey gave his approval for none, thinking it was too early for her (extra-hilariously, Beldaruit is the one who speed-ran Coco through her second test). I’m just saying, if Olruggio hasn’t noticed any of this and can’t take it in consideration before bringing out the accusations and threats, maybe he’s not doing that good a job as a Watchful Eye.  

Another thing about this climate of suspicion, added to the power imbalance between Qifrey and Olruggio, is that it prevents them from having a healthy fight. Olruggio invokes his duties as Watchful Eye to berate Qifrey whenever he steps out of line, but when Olruggio lets his temper carry him too far and misuses his own power (when he drags Coco out to the Knights Moralis even though she had already been officially accepted as an apprentice in volume 2, or when he accuses Qifrey of using Coco as bait in volume 7 without proof), Qifrey never criticises him for doing so. It’s not that he is shy about speaking up to power – he is more than happy to yell at Beldaruit and Easthies when they mistreat his students. But when it comes to Olruggio, Qifrey is compelled to shoulder as much blame as he can, and seems almost afraid of saying anything negative to him.

It would have been justified for Qifrey to start chapter 40 by getting mad at Olruggio for his earlier accusations: Olruggio had been insensitive, unhelpful and completely out of line. But instead Qifrey pretty much encourages Olruggio to attack him again: from his “I thought you might be mad at me” to frantically denying that Olruggio might have ever done anything wrong. In return, there is something defensive in Olruggio’s delivery during the “I’m angry that I wasn’t someone you could trust” segment: he walks away from Qifrey as he gives the non-apology, and it comes out sandwiched between criticisms of Qifrey for being reckless and a long speech of Olruggio praising himself, and how everything would be alright if only Qifrey behaved himself and relied on him more. It’s an issue that this old distribution of roles is so well-entrenched between them, with Olruggio as the golden student and Qifrey as the eternal problem child.

Qifrey’s exaggerated gentleness and praise towards Olruggio participates in the feeling of wrongness that weighs on chapter 40. The memory erasure scene is framed like a kiss, and Qifrey keeps complimenting him even after sending him into an unnatural sleep. It would come across as condescending and manipulative, except for how fervently Qifrey seems to want to believe that Olruggio is perfect, and that any dysfunction in their relationship has to come from him.

Qifrey, focused as he is on his own dark secrets, is utterly unwilling to see any darkness in Olruggio. It makes sense when you consider that Qifrey has also been absorbing the prejudices of the Great Hall: he thinks very little of himself, and has probably been looking up to Olruggio as a moral compass ever since Olruggio took him under his wing as a child. He must also comfort himself with the thought that, when/if his quest drags him away from the atelier, Olruggio will be a perfect teacher for the girls. Having to come to terms with Olruggio’s flaws must be terrifying to him. But what about Olruggio’s perspective in all this?

Olruggio is an example of how even those who materially benefit from an elitist, close-minded society are damaged by it in some way. He grew up in the Great Hall as a bright-eyed, idealistic genius, and even as an adult he clings to the principles of that society like a mantra: “bring the blessings of magic to the people”. He is successful and respected by his peers, popular with the nobles and well-liked among the commoners. Yet somewhere along the way he became a ragged, workaholic hermit.

I have mentioned in previous posts that I suspect Olruggio of grappling with his own, deep-seated fear of being unwanted and left behind. He betrays that fear in the way he is attacking Qifrey: his concerns about Qifrey’s treatment of Coco aren’t based on evidence, and underneath that veneer he is mostly complaining that Qifrey is neglecting him. “Be straight with me”, “Don’t lie to me”, “You wouldn’t even tell me about it”, “You took her as a student without a word to me first”. There again, Olruggio is being a bit hazy on how far his influence goes as Watchful Eye: from what we know, Watchful Eyes are meant to ensure that students don’t get mistreated, but they don’t get a say in who teaches whom: it’s the disciples who choose their masters. Olruggio grumbling about Qifrey adopting more and more children behind his back is cute when we treat them as a couple. But from the perspective of their professional relationship, Olruggio is claiming the right to veto Qifrey’s students and take them away from him without any evidence of abuse.

The problem is that Olruggio is very bad at expressing his feelings without using his job, and therefore his authority, as a crutch. It’s endearing when he uses it to explain away his gifts to the girls (“I just want them to test a prototype”) or his marks of affection and care (“Drying your hair so you don’t catch a cold is part of my duties as Watchful Eye!”). However, it adds a layer of threat to his arguments with Qifrey, because he is constantly dangling that authority over his head, even when he is urging Qifrey to trust him. In his more agitated moments, it turns into a one-man good-cop / bad-cop performance (“Step out of line and I’ll report you” / “Why won’t you confide in me? I’m your best friend!”). Sure, he is willing to side with Qifrey against the Knights Moralis when he deems it appropriate, but here’s the catch: Olruggio gets to decide where the line in the sand lies, and that line seems to shift depending on how hot his temper is flaring at any given time.

It’s no wonder their conversation lends them in a dead-end when it is so one-sided. Thourghout the manga, and in volume 8 in particular, the author explores the idea that help should be a collaborative effort between equals, that encourages both parties to grow and learn more about themselves. Trying to unilaterally “save” someone is almost guaranteed to miss the mark and come across as condescending; it might even cause further harm.

Help as a collaboration between equals

Therefore, Qifrey and Olruggio can’t really come to any connection unless they make it clear that they are helping each other, not just endlessly acting out their roles as the golden student who knows all the right answers, and the problem child who must be saved from himself.

Aside from the framing, help as an equivalent exchange is the other key difference between chapter 40 and Qifrey and Coco’s dialogue earlier in the volume. In order to counter Coco’s doubts and growing self-hatred, Qifrey reinforces everything he admires about Coco: from her social skills and capacity for teamwork to her practical skills and her straight lines. He reminds her of all the things that she achieved so far. He also strongly hints that her fight is his fight, too, and that they should hold onto hope for each other’s sake. Finally, he makes a (pretty dramatic, unnecessarily literal and definitely unsafe, but still awesome) leap of faith by letting her decide what direction she wants to take next. His support isn’t conditional on Coco making the “right” choice, but freely offered. In return, Coco makes a display of saving Qifrey as well, saying she wants him right by her side while she figures out her path. The rescue itself is symbolic (it would actually have been safer for Qifrey to go back on his own), but Qifrey’s gratitude is genuine, because Coco made him feel valued, irreplaceable, just as Beldaruit and Olruggio were making him doubt his place as a teacher.

By contrast, Olruggio’s speech of friendship contains a grand total of ONE compliment, served in such a back-handed way that it sounds almost like a warning: “To Coco, you are a good teacher, so don’t betray that trust”. This is weighted against a slurry of criticisms about Qifrey’s recklessness, and heaps of self-praise. Olruggio is making a case for why Qifrey needs help and why Olruggio is best-qualified to deliver that help, like he is making a sales pitch to a client. It’s probably not a coincidence that Olruggio is remembering his successful bout of diplomacy in chapter 39 as he gears himself for his conversation with Qifrey. Olruggio, look, I get that you have more faith in your professional persona than in your regular self, but you can’t talk to your best friend like you are doing customer service, it just doesn’t work that way.

The help that Olruggio offers leaves no room for Qifrey’s input: once Qifrey has confided everything and laid himself bare, Olruggio will pick apart “where he needs the help” and “when he is about to do something stupid”, and either support or stop him as he judges appropriate. It reinforces Qifrey’s inferiority complex and interiorised guilt, by implying that his moral compass can’t be trusted. It also places the blame for Qifrey’s rash actions solely on his lack of judgement, rather than on having to grapple with complex, life-threatening situations and being caught in a pincer between a terrorist group and an oppressive system. There’s no mention that the definition of what’s “lawful” and “responsible” and “just” has gotten a bit messed up lately, and that Olruggio himself has had to compromise with his duties to cover for the kids. Olruggio fakes confidence in his capacity to fix everything, and pretends that things can go back to the way they were, but it would have been more honest of him to ask Qifrey to work with him so they can form a united front to face their new, complex reality.

Instead, by claiming that he is helping Qifrey out of a sense of duty, as Watchful Eye and as a friend, Olruggio reinforces the feeling that Qifrey is a burden to him. This gives Qifrey more incentive to keep his friend away from his investigations, and to see himself as expendable. In that light, since their friendship brings Olruggio so much trouble and so few benefits, betraying him and stealing the memories that relate to Qifrey’s secrets start to look like the lesser evil.

The only way that the conversation in chapter 40 could have gone well is if they both freely admitted to needing each other. However, it is too early in Olruggio’s character arc to be honest about his own feelings and worries. And it is too early in Qifrey’s character arc to see past his own self-loathing and recognize that his “perfect” friend also needs support and guidance. Yet, when they do, it is hinted that Olruggio can draw inspiration from Qifrey, and help Qifrey in a more meaningful way by highlighting how Qifrey matters to him, letting them reach this stage of true collaboration.

What Olruggio wants from Qifrey

I think Olruggio is repressing a sense of disillusionment about his work, the fairness of the system, and his usefulness as a witch. We see glimpses of his anxiety in chapter 39 notably. While he says that his true role is to help the commoners, circumstances keep reminding him that like it or not, his main function is decorative. He gets dragged in on short notice to be yanked around by petty nobles and arrange light shows at weddings; he has to act in secret to help the destitute, and even then can only do so much before the rules of magic society get in his way. So far he manages to keep his head above water, using his talent for diplomacy and showmanship to keep the nobles appeased, and finding small, creative ways to help commoners without breaking any law. But it leaves him with the feeling of being trapped in an increasingly constraining role, and is slowly pushing him towards a burn out.

He seems to feel a kinship with princess Mia, who like him is used as a tool in petty squabbles between nobles. He even metaphorically puts himself in her shoes: after likening her situation to being trapped in the spotlight in a dance she doesn’t want, he applies the same metaphor to himself and his inability to act outside the narrow constraints of witch rules, of being constantly watched and judged. And then, adorably enough, Olruggio actually brings Qifrey into the metaphor. He muses that Qifrey, who has gone against established rules before, might be the key to escaping that dance.

For all that the “problem child” / “star student” dichotomy has been weighing on Olruggio and Qifrey and warping their friendship, there is a flip side to it as well. As a prodigy who always pressures himself to perform perfectly (to the point where he will work himself to a zombie-like state and then hide behind a mask to look perfect and pristine in front of his clients at parties, Olruggio no), Qifrey provides a chance at escapism. For all that he berates him for causing trouble, Olruggio seems to fondly remember their old adventures. It’s possible that he valued the opportunity to do rebellious, forbidden things without having to jeopardise his reputation. His fear of being left behind by Qifrey is then also a fear of losing his hope that, when the pressure of being the perfect witch becomes too much to bear, Qifrey will be there to break him free.

In summary, Olruggio wants Qifrey to be his rebellious prince who breaks him free from the ballroom, and we respect him for it. Qifrey had his reasons for not being able to confide in him, and they both have a lot of character development to do before they can reach a stage of actual collaboration and trust. But I don’t dispute that taking his memories was a dick move. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.  

[cultgambles]

BNHA Soulmate AU

I know I did one for mysme (more than 2 years ago omg!) but BNHA deserves one too

Yes..i do realize how random this list is ? i dont care

Word count: 1200

Masterlist | Requests? open

Hawks: it’s impossible to lie to your soulmate/the truth comes out

You were just a pastry chef down near Hawks’ agency

“So, I heard you made pretty good treats here?” he asked one day, stepping up to the counter

Not a normal Tuesday anymore, huh?

“Yup! I think they’re pretty good. Anything you’re dying to try?”

“Yeah, you--” Hawks’ slapped a gloved hand over his mouth, mustering up the most apologetic look he could do

“Ha ha, I heard you were a charmer! I just didn’t expect you to be quite this forward. How about a chocolate croissant?” you blushed.

“Sure, that sounds great..”

“700 yen please!” Hawks drops the coins in your palm. You hand him the pastry and tell him to come again, to which he says he definitely will

He does, the next day, and the next, and even the one after that

Your shop is also getting more popular too, since his fans want to try and get a look see at him

“So, Hawks, how’s your hero work going?” You ask him one calm afternoon. He’s sitting at one of the booths, and you’re sweeping.

“S’aight. Spying for the league, no biggie.”

“HUH?”

“You weren’t...supposed to know that.” his eyes turn to slits and he stands, not much taller than you, but his wings make him look massive.

“Hey, hey! I’m not gonna tell anyone!” you throw your hands up. “Cross my heart and hope to die!”

“Well I don’t want you to die,” he sighs, “it’s strange, I can’t seem to keep any secrets to myself around you, I just wanna tell you everything.”

“I feel the same. That day we met, and you said that, I was ready to drop everything and leave with you just to please you.”

“Is that so?” he grins.

 Every time one of you tries to lie or hold back what you’re truly thinking, it’s like a burning in your chest 

One time y’all had a competition to see how long you could do it

Keigo won

He likes knowing you’re always transparent to him, much better than the commission

Aizawa: before meeting in real life, you meet in the dream world

Why is he always sleeping? Oh, cuz he’s tired from hero work, and he also gets to see you

Damn timezones, damn you for living in California…

“Sensei,” it’s three in the afternoon, don’t you think we should be in a lesson right now? Iida asks.

“It’s 10 at night in California,” he mumbles, turning over in his sleeping bag.

“What did he mean by that?” the others wonder aloud.

In the dream world, he sees you in a meadow filled with wildflowers

Your hair splayed out, the grass tickling your nose

“Shota! You’re here!” you laugh, “come lay in the flowers with me!”

“Hi, [Y/N],” he smiles, laying opposite to you

“What’s happening in Japan?”

“The villains have been acting up, but the kids are working just as hard at their own studies and quirks. How are you?” Aizawa laces his long fingers with yours

“That’s nice, I’m sure they appreciate such a good teacher. And there was a storm a couple days ago, so rainy.”

“Come visit me”

“Now?”

“Of course now” he says, serious as a heart attack 

It takes a lot of convincing, but he manages to do it

Only, you don’t tell him, so while you’re on your flight, he’s sleeping in class and you’re awake doing a crossword and he’s looking for u in the dreamscape like --where they at lmao

He comes home from work to see you sitting on his door mat

So mad you didn’t tell him lol

Edgeshot: your shadow is the same shape as your soulmate, and same for them

First of all, petition to have more edgeshot in fics LIKE...have you heard his sub voice? So fucking hot--

Anyways

You have a weird shape in general (cuz his hair) and then for it to just get real skinny sometimes? It’s just like whaaaaa

His (your shadow) is more normal person shape

Honestly finds you one day from just doing hero work

Happens to glance down as he’s changing his arm into a blade and sees it happen

You approach him after he’s on the ground with Mt. Lady for photos

And he made and off hand comment about how he thinks he saw your shadow changed but wasn’t too sure

So he invited you to dinner just to make sure what he saw was correct

Respectful guy 

Love him

Dabi: initials tattooed on your person 

T.T was written on the inside of your left wrist, and you always covered it with a yellow ribbon. 

Your mother had told you how detrimental soulmates were, especially since hers had left the two of you one summer evening

Sometimes it made you sad that she instilled that belief in you, but it quickly goes away since you basically live in the worst parts of town

There’s more important things to worry about than a silly soulmate, and obviously they aren’t that forever

Thus you found yourself in the League of Villains

It was the night Dabi and Toga stumbled in.

He said, “I go by Dabi now,” and you were curious.

You observed him like he did the whole group, his gaze never staying on you for long, but flitting over to you frequently

Dabi kept his distance from practically everyone, however he did like your no-nonsense personality and the fact that you didn’t bother him like everyone else

Unless for missions, that was really the only time he talked to you

He was curious about your ribbon though, but he kept that inside

He’s not stupid, it must be for some soulmate

Probably left you and that’s why you’re in the league, and you cover it up like you’re ashamed

He had a mark too, long ago, before it burnt off with the rest of his skin on his wrist

Some of it must still be there though, that area is slightly more raised than the rest

He tries not to think about it

Day of him telling the world who he is

Both your wrists feel hot

You untie your ribbon, and it looks the same, perhaps a little darker?

You stare at him, watching Dabi

He briefly looks down at his own wrist and then back at you

You barely notice his lips turn upwards, and then he turns around to do his lil dancey dance

Honestly don’t see him for a while after that, he’s having cool down time

Knocks on your door at the hideout one evening

“So it’s you?”

“It’s me”

He takes you up to the roof, and y’all just sit in silence

But a good silence...you think. Honestly hard to tell.

Soon enough, he grabs your arm and runs his fingers over his initials

“Touya Todoroki, it’s a great name,” you parrot back to him softly

“Your name ain’t that bad either, dollface”

[shivada-jade]

codename: vind

older sibling!reader

characters: diluc, kaeya ➡ mentions: adelinde, crepus, la signora warning(s): alcohol consumption, swearing, and because for some reason, older siblings tend to be shorter than younger siblings. iDK WHY but ugh, yeah you're shorter than diluc and kaeya bc you're the older sibling. ik, i hate it too

like, i wanna be a tall 6'2 woman

diluc's 5'10 so u can still be tall in the story.. just not 5'11 😢 sorry over 5'10 folks

➡ WRITTEN BEFORE 2.1 so uhh :D

notes: platonic w diluc and kaeya, duh bc ur the older sibling. sibling love!!! sibling love !! woop woop !

"Dad, I'm home!" You bellow out to the house, waving a polite hello to Adelinde who looked shocked to see you. You kick off your shoes and slide your way to the long table in the living room, swiftly grabbing an apple before heading upstairs.

Your hands graze the railings and make your way up to find your dad. Upon reaching the last flight of steps, you were suspicious with how the place was very quiet. Granted, your younger brothers are now adults, but it still felt too quiet. Maybe you expected to see your brothers playing a game of chess, maybe bickering and fencing. You were hoping to see your family after being away.

You were a part of the Fatui under the Mondstadt branch. It was and at the same time wasn't a choice to be roped into the Fatui. You got roped into the wrong group of friends and found yourself blackmailed by the infamous group.

You didn't want to join. You didn't want any of it. You've been disconnected from the world. Wiped out from the face of Earth. No one gave information to you, you couldn't learn anything about what's happening currently. The most you could do was send letters, but even those were difficult to send out. You had to do it in secrecy or you'd be in trouble.

Love, the better sibling,

[Y/N]

Or another common send off is:

Please write back soon,

[Y/N]

And your family never failed to send back letters. They asked what you're doing, where you are and how are you, still you never told them your occupation, fearful of what they would think and where your loyalties lie, so you told them you were working under an adventurer.

It's for the greater good. You remember trying to convince yourself.

You're a horrible person.

You were sixteen then. Your younger brothers were twelve. It's been 10 long years since you last saw them, and 6 years since you last received a letter back. You miss them dearly. You often wondered what sorts of adventures they did without you.

But why are you wondering about this? You knew what they did: you knew everything that happened.

You're living under a heavy burden.

"Dad?" You call out again. Maids and wine makers look aghast when they see you, and they're on the verge of fainting when you call out to your father.

Stop the act.

It's strange how the letters were suddenly cut off. The last letter you received was from Kaeya, telling you how you needed to come home straight away. You tried to, but the Fatui prevented you from doing so. A lady called La Signora supervised you directly to make sure you didn't leave.

You know...

Adelinde brushes the dust off her uniform and hurries up the stairs to catch up to you, "Dear, is that you [Y/N?]"

"Did you forget me that easily? I'm offended Miss Adelinde," you chided, but the teasing look in your eyes give Adelinde relief to know you aren't actually offended. "Miss, where's dad?"

You're sickening.

Adelinde takes one look at you and squeezes your shoulders with a smile, "I'm afraid that's not for me to say. Master Diluc should be able to-"

"Oh, where's Diluc and Kaeya?" You ponder, and the corners of your lips curl upwards. "Those two were always attached to the hip. Where are they now? Horseback riding at the vineyard? Ha! I-"

You glance at Adelinde's watery eyes and stop your babbling. "What's wrong Miss Adelinde?" You reach for her hands on your shoulders and hold them. "Ah, has father been making you work too hard? I can request him to lessen your load."

Adelinde shakes her head no. "You don't have a clue, do you? Oh," she sighs. "Please, rest yourself by the fireplace. I'll prepare tea for you." She rests her hands back at her side and scurries to the kitchen.

You frown, unsure why she's jumpy, but you follow her request and sit by the fireplace. The crackle of the fire contrasts the tense air you feel when maids brush past you, offering tea Adelinde made. You thank them, gently blowing on the drink.

After taking a sip, you place it down with a pinky to lessen the noise it makes on the table. You hear the door open, and the choruses of maids greeting someone.

"Welcome home, Master Diluc," you hear and other voices saying, "We've prepared a meal for you and your sibling, would you like to rest yourself?"

You peek from your chair, he obviously hadn't realized you yet.

Diluc's lips make a thin line and shrugs off his jacket, "Why is Kaeya visiting. Isn't he supposed to do his knightly duties?"

You have no clue why he says it like that. The venom in his voice sends a shiver down your spine. You decide this is your cue to give him a warm welcome. You stand from your seat, and open your arms in a grand gesture and waltz to your brother. "Diluc! It's been a while huh?"

You clearly see him tense hearing your voice. His head snapped to your direction with his mouth parted. The maids respectively take their leave, bowing before they do so.

Diluc looks you up and down, still not believing you're there, like you're just his imagination. His hand slowly reaches out to you as if you're a dream.

Your feet lead you closer and you grasp him tightly in an embrace.

He freezes, but slowly relaxes in your hug, reluctantly bringing up his own arms to wrap around you. You feel his grip tightening, and you feel his shake out silent sobs. His face buries in your neck, letting tears fall on your clothes.

You soothe his back, and press a kiss on his hair. "I'm home, Diluc."

He trembles, pushing himself away to look at you clearly. Why hadn't you come home earlier? He wanted to vent, he wanted to yell, shout, he wanted to know how much he missed you in your absence.

He clears his throat and coughs in his fist. "You should have told me about your arrival," he adjusts the gloves on his hands, and looks to the floor like he did when he admitted he accidentally broke your toy when you were 10.

After these years, he still looks up to you as his older sibling. Not a thing has changed.

But you couldn't help but notice one thing. You knew Diluc and Kaeya had matured, you knew they would grow taller, but shit, now Diluc's taller than you.

"I sent a letter a month ago," you began. "It should have been sent to your office in the Favonius Headquarters? That's where I send my mail after you told me about your promotion to Cavalry Captain."

You squish his cheeks with both your hands. "Because I know you're a workaholic and only respond to letters that mean business, so that's where I sent it off to. You never write back, neither does Kaeya," you pause, thinking for a moment. "Neither does dad. Tell me he hasn't gotten sick that he couldn't respond to my letters."

Diluc lifts your hands off his face and frowns. He doesn't know how to break the news to you- not when you look so excited to be home and tell of your adventures to your family, so he asks, "Did you eat yet?"

You note the frown on his face. "'What's got you grumpy," you prod. "I need to find dad first. Told him in the first letter I gave him, I'd give the first gem I find."

Diluc watches you leave him to go to Crepus' room on the second floor. He hears the thuds on the floor and the opening of the door, but does nothing to stop you. You left with a smile, and you come back confused.

"Why is dad's room empty?"

How cruel.

...

Kaeya hums, passing by Flora's shop and purchasing a Calla Lily for the sake of it. He is well aware of the Fatui that stand by corners. Whispers of the wind give him intel, and so does alcohol apparently. He leans on a wall right outside Angel's Share, watching two Fatui members drink some of the tavern's strongest alcohol, imported from Snezhnaya.

"That damn," the one with the red and black mask hiccups, lifting a mug with foam overflowing. "Damn brat's gonna snitch on us to the Knights- *hiCC* boss lady wou- *HicC* would have our heads!"

Thankfully, their more responsible Fatui friend takes the mug and switches it with their drink, water. "You're the one who let Vindicta out of your sight when you know their frequencies to escape. This is all on you, buckaroo."

One of the Fatui escaped? How peculiar.

Kaeya hums, in steady strides he shows himself to the Fatui and takes a seat from another table and sits in front of the two. "My, my, my. If it isn't the wonderful Fatui," he divuldges. He twirls his Calla Lily around his fingers, amused with the Fatui's reactions.

Their mouths drop, knowing who he is and they hastily clean themselves up by sitting straight and wiping away the alcohol from their faces. "Good evening, sir."

"Evening to you too," he places the flower behind the person's ear, flustering them. "Well? Drink up. Everything you order will be on me."

The Fatui look at each other, skeptical with Kaeya's kindness, but the drunken one accepts the offer. Kaeya celebrates in the inside as he slowly gains Fatui intel.

Though, the second Fatui whom he dubbed the "Responsible One," took a while for them to take a sip. Turns out, they couldn't handle alcohol, that's why they avoided drinking it.

"So, my dear friends," he slides a coin on the table and stares both of them down. "A mora for your thoughts? I couldn't help but notice the tense of your shoulders when you first arrived here."

Responsible One raises their mug drunkenly, and gives a pointed look, "You... you know too much. How?..." They stare at their friend and whisper shout, "Don't tell him about Vind or-" They fail to continue their sentence and pass out on the table.

Kaeya feigns a surprised face and looks at Fatui number 2, "Who exactly is Vind? I'm sure you don't mean the storm watcher up at the cliff." He coats his voice with sugar, and it seems Fatui friend fell for his kindness.

"The damn brat," they spit out before hiccupping again. "Recruited them, fed them, saw potential, gave a home, and they escaped."

Kaeya nods and pushes another bottle of wine to the Fatui's direction, urging them to continue.

"Was supposed to be one of the Agents to spy on the *hiCc* to spy on the Ragnvindr family, because *HicC* Vind was one of the best there is. They were about to be promoted Harbinger after an assignment *hiCCUpp* but then Big Boss Lady said 'End the Ragnvindr legacy,' Vindicta left without a word. They escaped."

The Fatui downs another bottle of wine. "But judging from Boss Lady's reaction, Vind did the job: killed him and placed the blame on the Knights."

The Calvary Captain knits his brows and places his hands in front of him. It laced themselves and he watches the Fatui person empty out his wine.

"I'd be careful of what you say if I were you." His lone eye glints dangerously.

"End the legacy?" Kaeya frowns. "Can I ask..." He couldn't ask why or the Fatui would stop talking to him. "Can I ask when your beloved spy did their job?"

The Fatui waves a hand, "Six years ago. After they killed that damn aristocrat's father, they tried escaping. Big Boss supervised them under their watch. 'Potential' the Harbingers always say, but I don't see the potential in them if they don't have loyalties under the Fatui. A wild card, really."

They lay their cheek on the table. The temperature drops quite dangerously. Kaeya's diamond eye glints with coldness before it turns back to warmth.

"Rumours have it," the Fatui sighs, playing with his empty mug. "The training Vindicta went through is rougher, so we were hoping they would tie their loyalties to us. We let them explore once, and they escaped under my watch. Maybe it was their assignment to leave, maybe it's not, because Boss Lady was okay with it, she said 'Vindicta will always return in our hands.' when they first escaped, and surely enough they do return. But either way, I'm fucked for letting them go missing the third time of the week."

Kaeya laughs with no soul and quickly ends the lovely 'conversation.' He pushes himself from the table and stands, "Thank you for chatting with me, it's been interesting." He tucks in the chair and glances at the two Fatui dozing, or close to dozing off.

He swiftly turns away, scoffing when he's out of sight from people. Vindicta is a dangerous card. Not even the Fatui know where their loyalties side.

Vindicta. How peculiar indeed.

One of the best Fatui, which probably meant they were payed well with respect and mora, but why are they labeled as an escapee when they always return? With someone as dangerous as a Harbinger, who do they side with- the Fatui or something else?

Kaeya has a lot of questions.

...

Diluc sits on a cushioned chair and hunches over, resting his chin on his hands, thinking.

Always thinking.

The once lit fireplace is soaked with water he splashed over. The scent of burnt wood wafts nearby. The light chatter of maids go through one ear and leave the other.

How long had it been since he last saw you?

Eternity is his answer. It's been eternity since he last saw you.

He lets out a long sigh, throwing his head back and running a hand through his untied locks.

Too much thinking for today. Diluc groans in frustration and sits back up. He turns his head slightly, seeing you in the corner of his eyes taking out boxes of things you owned from 10 years before.

It doesn't make sense to him. Why come back so suddenly after years of not seeing you? Though, you claim you sent him letters, he never got them because he closed himself off from the Knights.

"Diluc," you set down a small picture of a family portrait you took out from hiding behind many books.

You are taking this oddly well.

You're taking this too well, in fact.

This raises a red flag for Diluc. He told you the fall out of your family, how he quit the Knights, but still you're going around the place like nothing had happened.

Don't you feel any rage? Or even sadness?

He sees too many red flags and hates it- from the way you can hide things like Kaeya so easily, to the way you just suddenly appear back in his life. It feels weird. It's not easy to let someone that in quick, yet you're still his role model, so it's okay, right?

He's always looked up to you when he was younger. You never were at a loss of words and stood up for him. You were the person he can turn to when something wrong happens, but what were you doing for yourself to be gone for so long? Adventuring Teyvat could not have taken ten whole years. Where did you even stay?

"Diluc," you crouch in front of him and talk to him as if he were six again. "I'm okay, okay?"

Diluc takes a shaky breath and sits up straight. His posture resembling a king's. "I have an idea, and I would like you to help me."

You look at him in awe. The realization settles in: Diluc has grown, and you're still stuck trying to make up the past.

"And what do I help you with?"

"Finding who's responsible for father's death."

notes: had this in my drafts for a long time and i was like "wait where was i going with this..." until BAM i have the idea again so im gonna continue it

(part 2)