#and i did. not physically but emotionally. mentally. spiritually i have died so many times

[your-thighness]

i think ego death is the most beautiful thing we can experience.

to be completely vulnerable and have absolute no control of this......thing kill what you thought was you

AND manage to continue to live YOUR life and go through so many transformations is just so breathtakingly beautiful

[ladyimaginarium]

okay so unless you've been living under a rock today is orange shirt day / national truth & reconciliation day! while there were assimilation efforts starting as early as the 17th century, from the 1820s to the last residential school in canada, kivalliq hall in nunavut closing in 1997, first nations (both status & nonstatus), inuit & métis children were forced away from their families to attend residential school prisons where they were taught irrelevant curriculum that wasn't even useful for their development, subjected to colonial schooling policies, forced labour/slavery, unethical scientific research based human experimentation oftentimes without their knowledge nor consent of the children or the parents, corporal punishment, withheld food, inadequate heating, little to no contact with parents ranging from 10 months at a time to even years whereas some parents literally camped right outside the school grounds in order to be closer to their children, forced to wear white european settler clothing & having their hair cut which was & still is a source of cultural pride & sacred spirituality, solitary confinement, overcrowded & unsanitary living conditions, violently punished for speaking their languages even to themselves or outside the classroom, practicing their non-christian cultures & religions, or demonstrating any kind of independence & were abused physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, sexually, culturally & spiritually & many died from disease, malnutrition, starvation, beatings, whippings, electrocution, trying to run away, suicide, torture and/or were murdered; native american, alaska native & native hawaiian children were also abused in the exact same way in american indian boarding schools that started in the 17th century in 1819 & ended in 1969 (notice how canada closed the last residential school 28 years — decades — after america did? "canada's nicer" MY ASS), though while today focuses specifically on indigenous turtle island communities specifically in both canada & america, i& have to point out that this has Also happened to other indigenous communities & otherwise minority groups across the world to varying degrees, including but not limited to: the black diaspora in north america, south america & the caribbean while not being forced to attend residential schools (though the segregation of schools must never be overlooked) although there WERE a few black natives/afroindigenous children who were forced to attend residential schools as well they were forced to abandon their native languages, religions & cultural practices & still face discrimination & attempts at forced assimilation, the sámi people of norway, sweden, finland & russia, kvens, tornedalians & finns by the swedish government, several indigenous siberian peoples by the russian government, the mincéiri / travellers of ireland, scotland & wales, kurdish people by the turkish government, the chin, kachin, karen, mon, shan & rohingya people by the british & myanmar governments, aboriginal australians & torres straits islanders called the stolen generations by the australian government & the māori of aotearoa/new zealand by the new zealand government, jewish & romani by various churches & governments, ukrainians by the russian government, the murle people in southern sudan, ainu, ryukyuan, korean & taiwanese people by the japanese government & uighurs & tibetans by the chinese government that's currently ongoing & this has happened so many times across various countries that forcibly taking children away from their families into another group in the hopes of assimilating them into the dominant culture is now considered a form of cultural genocide / culturicide & linguicide. while this has predominantly happened in the so called western hemisphere to enforce western christonormative white supremacy the overwhelmingly vast majority of the time, the perpetrators of these horrible acts are NOT exclusive to white people; this has happened in every continent except antarctica.

additionally, for residential schools in canada & america specifically, this not only applied to oral languages but even sign languages as well, with the many different indigenous children who used their own indigenous languages—both spoken & sign language—being forced to use english, french, asl & lsq, across various churches & their denominations. even moreso, the residential school system in canada & america (as well as the jim crow laws & the armenian genocide) was sick inspiration for cruel dictators like hitler for the holocaust / shoah / porajmos that resulted in the deaths of millions of lives, most especially jewish & romani lives. this is not the ancient past & assimilation is still ongoing. indigenous children all over the globe are still being taken away from their families & it must stop. every single child deserves to play & be safe, be educated & be protected from those who would harm them. every child matters.

while to my knowledge, none of my family members were residential school survivors but what i can tell you is that the evangelization & indoctrination of native communities by white western conservative christians is very much still ongoing. i was a member of an evangelical church group that has branches reaching into even refugee & migrant groups under the guise of a sort of scout group back when i was in elementary school that i later realized growing up that it was actually an international christian nationalist white supremacist child indoctrination cult with their motto to literally become soldiers for god's army with evangelization & missionary work (i will not name it for my own safety) where i was told by one of my cult leaders that indigenous cultures & spirituality — particularly the dreamcatcher — was demonic, evil & wrong, that literal demons came out of it (literal textbook antinative racism), as was anything that was nonchristian, & that the end was near, the rapture was coming in the form of microchips being planted into arms & that all nonbelievers would burn if they didn't "repent" & that god was always watching me & she told me all of this to my face when i was about 8-9 years old & it was one of the major reasons why for years i hadn't reconnected to my own cultures — that's obviously changed now & i've never been prouder; i also know two residential school survivors, both fierce, strong & powerful native women. even if what i described isn't as severe as everything i& mentioned above, considering the context, you can understand why this hits so close to home to me&. so as a two spirit indigenous person of turtle island i& not only extend my& love & support to my& communities on turtle island but also to our& indigenous siblings & cousins across the seas. solidarity is the only way we can truly go forward.

if you are indigenous canadian, you can call the following 24/7 national crisis hotline for residential school survivors & their families & everyone who's affected by it: 1-866-925-4419

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Guidance Through the Many Outlets

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ Proverbs 16:7 When a man's ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.

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VERSE OF THE DAY 

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+ 1 Chronicles 10:13-14 Saul died because he was unfaithful to the Lord; he did not keep the word of the Lord and even consulted a medium for guidance, and did not inquire of the Lord. So, the Lord put him to death and turned the kingdom over to David son of Jesse.

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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM SEEKING ONLY GOD 

I AM PLACING ALL MY HOPE IN GOD 

I AM WILLING TO WAIT 

I AM CONNECTED TO GOD 

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READ TIME: 7 Minutes & 42 Seconds

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THOUGHTS:

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     This verse shows us how one wrong move can cause so many other bad moves to happen because when we get to the place where we aren’t praying. We aren’t listening to his instructions. We will try to do other things to fix one problem instead of going to the source.

      If Saul had gone to the source initially, he would’ve never had this problem. But then I guess David wouldn’t have been king. Still, suppose Saul went to God first and said, I'm sorry for having jealousy and bitterness in my heart. In that case, I say this a lot: the spirit of bitterness and malice, rage, and anger can cause other spirits to come in and see this was the spirit of disobedience, the spirit of rebellion, the spirit of witchcraft, and other spirits came in. They took over because he allowed THAT ONE spirits to do this; we must be careful with how we allow the things of this world to come in and change our views or how we deal with our relationship with God.

     Leviticus 19:31: “Do not turn to mediums or necromancers; do not seek them out, and so make yourselves unclean by them: I am the Lord your God.

    See, the bible tells us NOT TO seek these people out to do anything other than what we should; we are making ourselves unclean, and many people are going to psychics and using crystals for direction and to promote healing, etc, and other things to find answers because everyone wants to know their future. Still, what good is it to know the future and not have God in it? 

    If we call ourselves believers or Christians, we must seek God, and whatever he tells us, we must be okay with. No, this isn’t going to happen immediately, or we will not always agree with it, but whatever he says we must do, and many of us aren’t happy with our lives now, so we are thinking, hey, the future must be better. I can't say what the future will hold, but I know if we walk in God and his laws, meditate on his word day and night and focus on building a solid relationship with God. We won't have to worry about what we don’t have or will have. We must make sure we are walking in him.

  John 6:35 Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.

         This is true physically, mentally, and emotionally. When we come to Jesus, he will give us food to eat. We will never be thirsty why because we place our trust in him. We might not have precisely what we want to eat, but it's why we must learn to be content. He will replenish us if we are spiritually dry, but we often seek blessings in money or things. 

    Still, the Holy Spirit is saying today, consult me. I will replenish you spiritually, I help you through your rough time, and guide you through your dry season, but if we are consulting other things and people like Saul, we will always have a problem. We must learn to make God the head and leave him there. We do this by trusting in him. If you don’t trust God, you will never have a strong relationship with him. God wants us to start by consulting and praying to him at the beginning of our day. He wants us to desire to be with him and to have a relationship with him. He won't make us do it at all.

   The world is looking for something quick, instant, have you noticed it’s more fast food chains everywhere its 5 McDonald's where I live ,why because people want their food fast and that DON’T want to wait and that’s the same thing with knowing their future, that’s the same thing with prayer they want their prayers answered like their food fast. Still, God isn’t going to give us a quick answer ALL THE TIME. 

  • Lamentations 3:25: The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.

•Isaiah 30:18 Therefore, the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore, he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.”

 •Psalm 37:7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!”

   These verses let us know there’s going to be some waiting, and when we do, he will show us mercy because he’s just and fair; we DON’T have to worry over what other people will get and have because they might’ve obtained what they wanted the wrong way but when we wait on God, we will obtain precisely what God has for us. Saul couldn’t wait; he was so focused on doing what he wanted and seeking whom he wanted that he sought Samuel. Sometimes, we must slow down and see if it’s a pattern in our lives; maybe we need to figure out how to stop it and change how we do things. And see if God has something new for us outside our usual pattern. 

  ***Today, we looked at Saul and saw where he went wrong; he went and sought a medium for his life, and he stopped hearing from God because of his disobedience. He didn’t see that his actions were getting him nowhere, but sometimes, we can’t see it because we are after the quick stuff. God wants us to know that our actions have consequences, but his love is greater; all we must do is come to him with patience and listen for his voice.

   Listening to the voices of psychics and being guided by other things aren’t going to lead us to God; it’s going to lead us away from God; a lot of people DON’T find anything wrong with seeking the expertise of a psychic, but my friends this is wrong when we put someone else ahead of our lives instead of God, we will always be lead astray. The Holy Spirit wants nothing but the best for us, but if we’re not willing to wait, if we’re not willing to seek, if we’re not willing to read our word, what do we expect God to do today? We must do a little bit more than what we usually do; God wants all of us, not pieces, to seek him with your whole heart. ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

========================

Heavenly Father, thank you for today, for life, health, and strength. Lord, I ask you to be with us; show us your ways. We want to dwell in your presence. God, show us how to let go of the things we think we need and to hold on to you, father we bind the spirit of deviation, rebellion and sorcery; in Jesus’ name we asked you right now to give us your strength to seek you and you alone in Jesus name amen

========================

REFERENCES 

========================

+Isaiah 64:6 “From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear; no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him.”

 

+ Psalm 130:5 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;”

 

+ Genesis 49:18: “I wait for your salvation, O Lord.”

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FURTHER READINGS 

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Proverbs 11

Levctuis 11

Job 38

2 Chronicles 36

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[finyx7733]

06/06/24

Affirmations: I am worthy of love I am capable of great things I am not a burden I am made of stardust and magick

How do I feel physically today? I feel really good today. I managed to fall asleep around 10pm last night and didn't wake up until 8 am this morning. I guess I needed the sleep. My body feels well rested and I am ready to take on the day.

Am I intellectually stimulated? I have been doing some research on Paganism and BPD, so I would say yes, I am being intellectually stimulated. It feels nice to be doing something productive and I feel like I am learning a lot. I will post my findings at a later time once I have more information.

How do I feel emotionally today? I am feeling great! my mood has improved greatly since yesterday. I don't feel like crying or breaking anything. I feel at peace, which is a rare thing for me, but it's been happening more and more since I moved here. I had a nice cup of tea this morning and just sat with my thoughts. I put it out into the Universe that today was going to be a good day and so far it has been.

How do I feel spiritually today? Like I said before I feel at peace today, my spirit is calm. I've already started practicing what I'm learning. This morning while I was making my tea I did a little manifestation spell, a prayer that today would be a great day and that I would have the energy to finish the tasks I set out for myself and so far it worked. I am looking forward to learning more and using what I learn in my everyday life.

Today is a lazy day for me, I have to clean the closet and declutter the bedroom but other than that I don't really have anything planned. Mimi is heading to work around 1 and boy is she just not ready to go. Poor thing is super sleepy and drained. I now know why I've been manic and overly emotional this past week, usually a week before my period starts I am an absolute wreck, my emotions fluctuate I go from being manic to being severely depressed. Well, this morning it decided to rear its ugly head. Which means this week is going to be emotional for me. I'm hoping this won't be the case but that is how it usually goes.

Last Mother's Day Mimi's mom, Whom I will not refer to as my mom, taught me how to crochet and I absolutely LOVE it. I am working on two blankets one for myself and one for Mimi. I'm hoping to have them finished by next winter, I'm a beginner so my progress is a little slow but I'm really proud of the quality. Mom says she is surprised at how well I'm doing. This makes me feel really good. I'll post pictures of my progress. I am really grateful for Mimi's mom, she is the kindest woman who welcomed me into her life with open arms. My own mother died from small-cell lung cancer seven years ago and life just hasn't been the same. Our relationship when I was growing up was very strained, she had her own mental health issues she was struggling with, and at times she would take that out on me, but as I grew up and became an adult our relationship flourished and she became one of my closest friends. When she died I was left to pick up the pieces, it's something I still struggle with. Mimi's mom treats me like one of her own and it warms my heart and brings me a peace I didn't know I would ever feel again. I've been doing a lot of research on BPD there are so many things I do because of this illness that I never even realized. It is helping me to understand myself better and I am looking into coping skills and something called DBT. I'm compiling notes so I can make sense of things. I can get sidetracked fairly easily so sometimes research is difficult for me. Mimi and I are watching a movie called The Stand, it's really good. I know they made it into a TV series I'll have to watch it. I really enjoy the movie so I'm sure I'll enjoy the TV series. Well, I am going to watch the movie and do some more research. Ta for now. <3 Fi

[ashtheticx]

Confessions of a Christian girl

Before I begin, I want to preface something. God is real. Jesus is King and he died on the cross for our sins and He is our savior and salvation. The Bible is God breathed and the truth. I do not regret being a Christian and devoting my life to Jesus Christ. I have so many blessings and have an immense sense of gratitude in my heart and soul. When I pray, I find myself giving thanks to the Lord substantially more than putting forth any petitions I may have in front of him. Even when I have petitions, they are related more to other people's lives, for their protection and health, than my own. I am not here to judge other people nor convict them of anything. I am a broken person who has committed many wrongdoings in her life. I have no choice but to remain humble and grateful. But Jesus is picking up the pieces and helping me heal from so much pain, lament, and sorrow.

I am still learning. Truthfully, sometimes I worry about the things I do not know, or do not understand. The Bible is clear about many things that I struggle to accept at times. I know it comes from my own foolishness and the egotistical thoughts of my flesh which makes all of this even more frustrating for me. I believe, and I accept that His word is true and meant for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness. But there are so many people in this world who hold such a profound hatred for the Bible. It is a hatred that is drenched in ego, malice, and spite and even hurt. I can only pray to God that when the time comes for me to encounter someone like that that I do not faint from anxiety. Even worse, most of these people have read the bible. Unfortunately for me, I fear those than hell itself because I know who is hiding behind their words of denial. But I am learning we must show grace and mercy those who doubt.

Baby steps. So, I will not understand everything all at once. On the contrary, there are things I am finally understanding now that have taken me years to understand. Maybe I am a bit slow or maybe the Lord is showing himself more and more now that I dedicated myself to following, living and loving like Him. I have devoted myself to an intentional bible study and it has helped a lot.

What I have learned. I am not meant for this world. I love Jesus so much, I fear sin. I do not want to lose the relationship I have built with Him, and it is not because I fear He will punish me. No, God does not punish. He will discipline yes, just as a parent will a child if they get too close to fire. But like Icarus, if we fly to close to the sun, we will fall. It is the misuse of our freewill that leads us to sin which fogs our vision of God and makes him feel and seem distant. God has been so good to me. He has been my counselor, my Father, my guide and my biggest source of true Love. I love, because He loved me first. He knows me so well. I do feel loved by Him. I am always experiencing His love and mercy. He has blessed my life in ways I shamefully did not realize until now, even when I denied him and turned my back on Him. And so, my heart cannot help but sing to him. I worship Jesus and only Jesus because no one else did what He did for me.

My spiritual warfare. Since I have devoted my life to following Jesus, there are many things I have been working on giving up. I struggle with an addiction to weed. I have abused drugs and alcohol it had mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally messed with me. My brain has been rewired to think I will need it for the rest of my life. There was a time I thought I could never have kids because I could not give up smoking or doing any other drug (drugs I should have never one) while pregnant and even after birth. I'm "clean" but I say that VERY lightly. I have smoked and consumed edibles since I decided to sober up. I have not hit a blinker even when offered. I need to be honest, this is really, really REALLY hard. There are so many times late at night when all I want to do is smoke and feel at "peace". But I have goals for myself. I want to sing, I want to run, I want to study, and I want to be like Jesus, but I cannot do all that if I keep carrying my dirty little secret on my shoulders.

The people around me. Sometimes I do miss clubbing, partying, and excessively drinking. Sometimes I watch other people's social media and see how they freely do whatever they want, and I confess, there are sentiments of jealousy because it looks like they are having so much fun. Now don't get me wrong, I am having fun! I sing, I dance, I spend time with my family and friends, and I laugh till my belly hurts. I have had so many opportunities open up to me thanks to the Lord. These are moments so precious to me and of course I give thanks. It's just weird knowing that one day I have the choice to wake up and participate in this culture of drinking every day, clubbing on the weekends, coming home at whatever hour I want, hooking up with whoever I want and sleeping in on Sunday mornings. I am very familiar with that lifestyle. But very recently, I started developing a strong feeling of conviction. and now, my feelings of conviction are stronger than my jealousy and that is where I am humbled. Yet sometimes I do feel left out from this world. I feel like I am losing touch with this world. I hate saying that because deep down I know that Christians and non-Christians will judge me for saying that. Please believe me, none of these confessions are easy for me to say. I do not want to be life this. I am strong in faith, but I can also be easily influenced by the flesh of this world, and I know I should not be.

One day at a time. I leave this confession in prayer. Lord, thank you for your love and mercy. Thank you that I am able to wake up and walk alongside you on my journey of life. Thank you for the way you have been working in me this past year. Bless all those who come across this confession of mine. Protect their hearts, soul and mind as you have been doing with me. May they experience rest, healing and peace in you. I pray all of this in the name of your Holy son, Jesus Christ, Amen.

[miss-kittyy]

Rewriting Briarlight and Longtail’s Deaths

So I am disabled, like very disabled, I am %50 of the teenagers ever diagnosed with my special combination of pain disorders, and I also unfortunately hyper fixated on warrior cats, which is bad news for me because warrior cats is super ableist, and to add insult to injury, the fandom can also be pretty ableist.

My biggest problem with the majority of “anti-ableist” AUs is that they “fix” the ableism stemming from the narrative and able bodied characters by making the disabled character less disabled, this so bad for many reasons. I’ve talked more about in other posts. The justification that real life disabled cats are less doesn’t make it not ableist, since when was warrior cats meant to be realistic? If you’re making an au where the disabled cats function like actual disabled cats you also have to make all the cats genetically accurate, and retcon Lionblaze lifting a tree.

My problem with warrior cats is not that the disabled characters cannot become full conventional warriors, I’d like it if they got to choose what duties the perform instead of being crammed into the medicine den, but I don’t care about Cinderpelt not being able to complete a marathon. Most of the fandom seems to think the issue is that the disabled character are not useful enough, instead of the way that able bodied characters deny of them agency and make remarks like “you wouldn’t want to return to a life like her’s would you?”. Disabled people do not need to be “useful” to be worthy and empowering.

It’s very obvious that most of the fandom just wants the disabled cats to be more palatable to abled bodied people, so I’ve decided to make my own rewrite instead to hopefully make myself feel better. A lot of these things are inspired by my own experiences and not every disabled person is looking for the same things in representation, this is totally self indulgent.

The goal of this AU is to highlight the many unique and valuable aspects disability and how being disabled does not infringe upon anyone’s worth, ever.

- Longtail doesn’t die in the storm, Briarpaw is still injured, but he’s found besides her, trying his best to help her cling to life.

- after Briarpaw begins to recover he stands up to Millie and other cats insulting her quality of life, he says her journey will be hard, but it is one worth taking.

- She asks him why he’s an elder, and he decides to request to have his warrior ship restored as Briarpaw is dreading the life of an elder.

- On his first patrol the cats accompanying him insist on speaking to him in an incredibly infantilism tone, and whispering amongst themselves over what he can or can’t do, without consulting him,

- He initially gives up on patrolling after that insufferable experience.

- Briarlight begins to create marks and blobs on the wall of the medicine den using crushed up dead herbs she asks him to retrieve some berries for her, and he complies.

- Jayfeather shows him how he navigates the territory with the help of some of the sighted cats, and Mousefur is quick to volunteer as his guide. He finds her company surprisingly empowering. He realizes that it was not his blindness which was limiting his abilities, but the other cats attitudes.

- Mousefur and Longtail return with mouthful of berries and herbs, Briarlight describes to him what she’s drawing on the side of the den and he helps he mound the materials into paint.

- The cats begin to pop into the medicine den to see Briarlights painting and soon Jayfeather has to kick her out occasionally so they’d stop crowding him, she’s given the walls of camp to decorate instead.

- She begins to illustrate Longtails stories of the old territory and Bloodclan, and this new form of storytelling becomes a tradition amongst Thunderclan.

- because more young cats are aware of the clans history it becomes harder for the dark forest to recruit them, unfortunately, Blossomfall’s resentment towards her sister means she never cared to listen.

- Ivypool is still recruited and trained like in canon, given her relationship with the dark forest was much more emotionally charged and manipulative than just plain lies.

- at a gathering Longtail meets Grasspelt who inquires about Briarlight, Longtail is surprised about how little he knows as the she-cat had mentioned how well they got along as apprentices. Despite Millie nagging him not to tell him the truth about her daughter he does anyways, but puts much more emphasis on how well she’s doing than Millie expected. Grasspelt thinks this sounds really cool and decides that he is going to see her and her paintings, and that nobody can stop him. Longtail makes sure to put any opposing cat in their place, but Briarlight is a very respected Clanmate, so most warriors don’t say anything.

- Briarlight is nervous and doesn’t want to come out of the medicine den at first, but when Grassheart darts into the den holding berries and flowers for her to paint with she quickly warms up to her visitor.

- Grassheart is happy to tell Briarlight that he’s never been able to be a “functioning” warrior, and that he has always imagined that his spirit is shaped different, the medicine cat says his body is normal, but he’s never been able to keep focus in a fight or react as quickly as he should be able to while hunting. (He’s autistic because I say so)

- As dusk nears he’s visually hesitant to return to Riverclan and when Longtail inquires on why he says that he hasn’t felt so “here” for a long time. On the way back he wanders off and comes back with a chipmunk, when returning to Riverclan territory his father, Mintfur, is shocked to see his catch. After talking with his family a bit he realizes that it was the noise from the river that was making him so tense and dissociated, Brackenfur, who was escorting him, notices that he keeps rubbing himself on the ground and wincing.

- For the next couple moons Grasspelt returned to Thunderclan to bring Briarlight plants that only grow in Riverclan territory, he begins trying to fish from the quite lazy stream in their territory and soon both him and Briarlight have got it down.

- Longtail notices the sadness present whenever Grasspelt left and exclaims that it’s rather stupid that he’s living somewhere so unsuited for him just because of words long repeated.

- Grasspelt confesses that he feels the same, but knew he wasn’t supposed to say anything. Briarlight tells Longtail that her and the Riverclan warrior had been thinking of each other as mates for moons.

- Longtail accompanies Jayfeather to the next half moon meeting where he proposes his addition to the warrior code, “no cat should be confined to laws which harm them due to an inherent physical or spiritual difference.” (Cats don’t really know how brains work, so they see mental disabilities as a difference within a cats spirit)

- A moon later the leaders meet to discuss this proposition, it is accepted and Grasspelt makes the journey to Thunderclan for the final time.

- Grasspelt is renamed Grassspirit when becoming a Thunderclan warrior, unlike prior renaming of disabled cats this is a celebration.

- Grassspirit spends most of his time taking care of the elders and kits, he’s incredibly compassionate especially with kits and is able to solve many problems within the nursery.

- When twigkit and Violetkit arrive in Thunderclan Briarlight and Grassspirit help raise them, after Violetkit is taken Briarlight and Twigkit paint her on the side of Thunderclan camp.

- Briarlight still gets sick and her illness progresses without any treatment, Grassspirit notices her trying to hide it and when Longtail finds out he’s very upset. Jayfeather frantically treats her, expressing his frustration that she didn’t tell them sooner, the second Millie steps out she breaks down and explains that she just wanted to deal with it herself, and perhaps if she were successful Millie would finally treat her like an adult.

- Longtail gives Millie a stern talking to, he tells her that Briarlight is a warrior of Thunderclan and as her clanmate she should show her some respect.

- Millie is inherently very reactionary, as she had not realized the full extent of her suffocation, but eventually after a couple moons her and Briarlight begin to rekindle their relationship, like adults.

- Blossomfall sees how Brairlight wasn’t basking in their mother’s attention like she imagined, and feels the urge to seek out an actual sisterhood after ignoring Briarlight for moons and moons.

- Briarlight isn’t really mad at her sister, and understands why she felt the way she did. Jayfeather suggests that Blossomfall help Briarlight with her painting, Blossomfall seems put off with the suggestion of being her sister’s assistant.

- The interactions that follow are less than ideal, Blossomfall commends Briarlight’s able friends (Thornclaw, Poppyfrost, Alderheart, etc) for being so nice to her, as if that’s not what friends do. She seems very sad the entire time, sighing when her sister dragged her legs around with her mouth to sit more comfortably, even though she was completely fine. When watching her paint she comments that it’s good she has “something to keep her busy”, and finally she expresses her view, of Briarlight’s injury and her (Blossomfall’s) suffering being all worth it because of her talents, as if her life was not worth living to begin with.

- Briarlight tells her that if that’s truly what she wants she’s going to have to put more effort into understanding and respecting her way of life, and that she won’t apologize for their mother’s actions.

- When Blossomfall has her kits they take a liking to Auntie Briarlight, and Blossomfall seems to have reflected on their past interactions, trusting her sister to watch her kits. Briarlight teases a bit, a subtle way of telling her not to rush things, but they do begin to feel like something close to sisters.

- Right before Briarlight’s Nieces and Nephews are made warriors Longtail dies of Greencough. Throughout the entirety of his sickness he kept his sense of humour, his mean streak, and his immense love for what he had made of his clan.

- At his vigil Grassspirit began whaling like a bird in new-leaf, he insists that the vigil is too sad, and that Longtail wouldn’t want everyone moping around, for Starclan’s sake, his life was good. Standing amongst them, Longtail’s spirit can feel every cat in Thunderclan standing around him, singing the song of a life well lived.

[thereadersmuse]

Oh, Muse. *sighs dramatically and falls to the floor* Like you said in the replies on one of your posts, all this and all this damn time just for Daryl to end up leaving everyone he ever cared about. I kept watching this entire time because there there were always juuuust enough scenes or eps that made me remember how good the show could be and how much Caryl was still a quality ship in spite of it all and this is how they choose to go out. A completely lackluster final season and so many of us holdouts who likely no longer even really care if Caryl does go canon because looking at this entire shitshow they'd prolly immediately kill her so because Daryl has to ride off into the sunset alone crying manly tears and the out of all the Daryl ships the only ones who "win" are rabid NR fangirls ship him only with themselves. You truly were the smart one getting out long ago. It's honestly almost impressive how much so many of us used to love TWD and how AMC just sucked all of that out of us over time. If their goal was to make people feel like we wasted way too much of our lives and kind of wish we never even bothered, well mission accomplished, I guess. I feel like BenAflecksmoking.jpg

Honestly, we are all mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually the benaflecksmoking.jpg. It's just with twd that the house behind him is actually on fire at the same time.

1. Anyone who stayed watching has my respect. First and foremost. I stopped because I realized I just wasn't enjoying anymore. It did nothing for me. In fact, it just made me mad. Again and again and again. Also, the fandom got so caustic you couldn't even like minor characters that smiled in Carol or Daryl's direction without them making 'victory' cakes when they inevitably died. Wildt. So, I bounced. I understand why people didn't.

2. I think, truthfully, this stings me less than others because deep down I never really thought they would do caryl the justice and love it deserved. I thought the caryl spin off was a miracle, considering tptb's track record, but honestly thought it would probably end up like this after one season. With NR huffing his ball hairs and zooming off on his bike like some real life fan fiction he is writing on a diner napkin and shoving in a writer's pocket.

3. The sad part, like we both mentioned, is this completely negates Daryl's entire journey as a character and it is hysterical in the worst way that NR and tptb are so blind to it. I can't see the spin off succeeding without MB tbh. Twd only had the die hard fans left, most waiting for caryl. And now? Well, they got NR and his self-fanfiction, I guess.

4. My advice to all? For what it's worth? I have none, just gentle love and the promise that there are people in this fandom who will write a better caryl ending than twd could even dream.

Tough times, queens.

[iameriwa]

Praise be to God

From the age of five I was instructed to take care of my Mum and Sister.

Why would anyone ask a child to take on such responsibility?

I wasn't old enough to question the instruction, so did my best to adhere.

You see my Dad died when I was five, and at that time, my baby sister was barely one.

My Mum was constantly in and out of the hospital, managing an inherited red blood cell disorder.

I had no choice but to grow up, and do so fast.

Becoming responsible at such a young age was a gift and a curse.

I didn't get a chance to enjoy my childhood, or my teenage years because I wasn't considered a child.

Everyone who could, took advantage.

That being said, all my experiences prepared me for the many challenges I've been through and overcome.

I've always been wise beyond my years, and felt a sense of duty to care for my loved ones, before myself.

However, now I've established healthy boundaries.

I do things out of love not obligation.

I don't allow anyone to emotionally abuse me or guilt trip me.

I don't give anyone my hard earned money whenever they ask because they've been irresponsible with their finances.

I don't allow anyone into my space if their energy isn't right or aligned with mine.

I don't wait for anyone's appreciation, applause or approval, I don't need it.

I don't hold malice but where necessary I will keep my distance.

I don't have any expectations so don't get disappointed, just pleasantly surprised.

I've stop holding people to my standards, I know we are all different, and have different paths.

I've let go of all my hurt and anger

I've realeased all my past pain and embrace my present, while remaining optimistic about the future.

I love myself first

I prioritise my needs first and don't apologise for doing so

I'm focused on my mental, physical and spiritual growth and that's it.

I'm blessed and highly favoured

I let God guide my footsteps and walk confidently moving forward.

Praise be to God - Amen

Author - @iameriwa

⁣Photography - @xander.foto

⁣Model - @attrvcion

⁣Hair - @tossedtresses⁣

⁣Stylist - @talyseanir_ ⁣

[iamshwee]

SHADOW WORK: The Ultimate Guide

I. Why Focusing Only on the Light is a Form of Escapism

For most of my life, I’ve grown up firmly believing that the only thing worthy of guiding me was “light” and “love.” Whether through the family environment I was raised in, or the cultural myths I was brought up clinging to, I once believed that all you really needed to do in life to be happy was to focus on everything beautiful, positive and spiritually “righteous.” I’m sure you were raised believing a similar story as well. It’s a sort of “Recipe for Well-Being.”

But a few years ago, after battling ongoing mental health issues, I realized something shocking:

I was wrong.

Not just wrong, but completely and utterly off the mark. Focusing only on “love and light” will not heal your wounds on a deep level. In fact, I’ve learned through a lot of heavy inner work, that not only is focusing solely on “holiness” in life one side of the equation, but it is actually a form of spiritually bypassing your deeper, darker problems that, let me assure you, almost definitely exist.

It is very easy and comfortable to focus only on the light side of life. So many people in today’s world follow this path. And while it might provide some temporary emotional support, it doesn’t reach to the depths of your being: it doesn’t transform you at a core level. Instead, it leaves you superficially hanging onto warm and fuzzy platitudes which sound nice, but don’t enact any real change.

What DOES touch the very depths of your being, however, is exploring your Shadow.

II. What is the Human Shadow?

In short, the human shadow is our dark side; our lost and forgotten disowned self. 

Your shadow is the place within you that contains all of your secrets, repressed feelings, primitive impulses, and parts deemed “unacceptable,” shameful, “sinful” or even “evil.” 

This dark place lurking within your unconscious mind also contains suppressed and rejected emotions such as rage, jealousy, hatred, greed, deceitfulness, and selfishness.

So where did the Shadow Self idea originate? The concept was originally coined and explored by Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, Carl Jung. In Jung’s own words:

“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”

When the human Shadow is shunned, it tends to undermine and sabotage our lives. Addictions, low self-esteem, mental illness, chronic illnesses, and various neuroses are all attributed to the Shadow Self. When our Shadows are suppressed or repressed in the unconscious long enough, they can even overtake our entire lives and causes psychosis or extreme forms of behavior like cheating on one’s partner or physically harming others. Intoxicants such as alcohol and drugs also have a tendency to unleash the Shadow.

Thankfully, there is a way to explore the Shadow and prevent it from devouring our existence, and that is called Shadow Work.

III. What is Shadow Work?

Shadow work is the process of exploring your inner darkness or “Shadow Self.” As mentioned previously, your Shadow Self is part of your unconscious mind and contains everything you feel ashamed of thinking and feeling, as well as every impulse, repressed idea, desire, fear, and perversion that for one reason or another, you have “locked away” consciously or unconsciously. Often this is done as a way of keeping yourself tame, likable, and “civilized” in the eyes of others.

Shadow work is the attempt to uncover everything that we have hidden and every part of us that has been disowned and rejected within our Shadow Selves. 

Why? Because without revealing to ourselves what we have hidden, we remain burdened with problems such as anger, guilt, shame, disgust, and grief.

All throughout the history of mankind Shadow Work has played a powerful yet mysterious and occult role in helping us discover what is causing us mental illness, physical dis-ease and even insanity resulting in crimes of all kinds.

Traditionally, Shadow Work fell in the realm of the Shamans, or medicine people, as well as the priests and priestesses of the archaic periods of history.  These days, Shadow Work falls more commonly in the realms of psychotherapy, with psychologists, psychiatrists, spiritual guides, and therapists.

IV. Do We All Have a Shadow Self?

Yes, we ALL have a Shadow Self.

As uncomfortable as it may sound, there is a dark side within every human being. Why is this the case? The reason why all human beings have a shadow is due to the way we were raised as human beings, often referred to as our ‘conditioning.’

“But I’m a good person! I don’t have a ‘shadow’ side,” you might be thinking. Well, the reality is that yes, you might be a good person. In fact, you might be the most generous, loving, and selfless person in the entire world. You might feed the hungry, save puppies, and donate half of your salary to the poor. But that doesn’t exclude you from having a Shadow. 

There are no exceptions here. 

The nature of being human is to possess both a light and a dark side, and we need to embrace that.

Sometimes, when people hear that they have a Shadow side (or when it is pointed out), there is a lot of denial. We have been taught to perceive ourselves in a very two-dimensional and limited way. We have been taught that only criminals, murderers, and thieves have a Shadow side.

This black and white thinking is one of the major causes of our suffering.

If the thought of having a Shadow side disturbs you, take a moment to consider whether you have developed an idealized self. 

Signs of an idealized self include attitudes such as:

·   “I’m not like those people, I’m better.”

·  “I have never strayed.”

·  “God is proud of me.”

·  “Criminals and wrongdoers aren’t human.”

·  “Everyone sees how good I am (even so, I have to remind them).”

·  “I’m a role model.”

·  “I should be validated and applauded for my good deeds.”

·  “I don’t have bad thoughts, so why do others?”

Such perceptions about oneself are unrealistic, unhealthy, and largely delusional. The only way to find inner peace, happiness, authentic love, self-fulfillment, and Illumination is to explore our Shadow.

V. How is Our Shadow Side Formed?

Your Shadow side is formed in childhood and is both (a) a product of natural ego development, and (b) a product of conditioning or socialization. Socialization is the process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society.

When we are born, we are are all full of potential, with the ability to survive and develop in a variety of ways. As time goes on, we learn more and more to become a certain type of person. Slowly, due to our circumstances and preferences, we begin to adopt certain character traits and reject others. For example, if we are born into a family that shows little interpersonal warmth, we will develop personality traits that make us self-sufficient and perhaps standoffish or mind-oriented. If we are born into a family that rewards compliance and shuns rebellion, we will learn that being submissive works, and thus adopt that as part of our ego structure.

As authors and Jungian therapists, Steve Price and David Haynes write:

“But, as we develop our ego-personality, we also do something else at the same time. What has happened to all those parts of our original potential that we didn’t develop? They won’t just cease to exist: they will still be there, as potential or as partly developed, then rejected, personality attributes, and they will live on in the unconscious as an alternative to the waking ego. So, by the very act of creating a specifically delineated ego-personality, we have also created its opposite in the unconscious. This is the shadow. Everyone has one.”

As we can see, developing the Shadow Self is a natural part of development.

But you also formed an alter ego due to social conditioning, i.e. your parents, family members, teachers, friends, and society at large all contributed to your Shadow.

How?

Well here’s the thing: polite society operates under certain rules. In other words, certain behaviors and characteristics are approved of, while others are shunned. Take anger for example. Anger is an emotion that is commonly punished while growing up. Throwing tantrums, swearing, and destroying things was frowned upon by our parents and teachers. Therefore, many of us learned that expressing anger was not “OK.” Instead of being taught healthy ways to express our anger, we were punished sometimes physically (with smacks or being grounded), and often emotionally (withdrawal of love and affection).

There are countless behaviors, emotions, and beliefs that are rejected in society, and thus, are rejected by ourselves. In order to fit in, be accepted, approved, and loved, we learned to act a certain way. We adopted a role that would ensure our mental, emotional, and physical survival. But at the same time, wearing a mask has consequences. What happened to all the authentic, wild, socially taboo, or challenging parts of ourselves? They were trapped in the Shadow.

What happens as we grow up?

Through time, we learn to both enjoy, and despise, our socially-approved egos because, on the one hand, they make us feel good and “lovable,” but on the other hand, they feel phony and inhibited.

Therapist Steve Wolf has a perfect analogy that describes this process:

“Each of us is like Dorian Gray. We seek to present a beautiful, innocent face to the world; a kind, courteous demeanor; a youthful, intelligent image. And so, unknowingly but inevitably, we push away those qualities that do not fit the image, that does not enhance our self-esteem and make us stand proud but, instead, bring us shame and make us feel small. We shove into the dark cavern of the unconscious those feelings that make us uneasy — hatred, rage, jealousy, greed, competition, lust, shame — and those behaviors that are deemed wrong by the culture — addiction, laziness, aggression, dependency — thereby creating what could be called shadow content. Like Dorian’s painting, these qualities ultimately take on a life of their own, forming an invisible twin that lives just behind our life, or just beside it …”

But while the Shadow Self may be portrayed as our “evil twin,” it is not entirely full of “bad” stuff. There is actually gold to be found within the Shadow.

VI. What is the Golden Shadow?

Jung once states that “the shadow is ninety percent pure gold.” What this means is that there are many beautiful gifts offered to us by our Shadow side if we take the time to look. For example, so much of our creative potential is submerged within our darkness because we were taught when little to reject it.

Not everything within our Shadow is doom and gloom. In fact, the Shadow contains some of our most powerful gifts and talents, such as our artistic, sexual, competitive, innovative, and even intuitive aptitudes.

The ‘Golden Shadow’ also presents us with the opportunity for tremendous psychological and spiritual growth. By doing Shadow Work, we learn that every single emotion and wound that we possess has a gift to share with us. Even the most obnoxious, “ugly,” or shameful parts of ourselves provide a path back to Oneness. Such is the power of the Shadow – it is both a terrifying journey, but is ultimately a path to Enlightenment or Illumination. Every spiritual path needs Shadow Work to prevent the issues from happening that we’ll explore next.

VII. What Happens When You Reject Your Shadow?

When shadow-work is neglected, the soul feels dry, brittle, like an empty vessel. — S. Wolf

Rejecting, suppressing, denying, or disowning your Shadow, whether consciously or unconsciously, is a dangerous thing. The thing about the Shadow Self is that it seeks to be known. It yearns to be understood, explored, and integrated. It craves to be held in awareness. The longer the Shadow stays buried and locked in its jail cell deep within the unconscious, the more it will find opportunities to make you aware of its existence.

Both religion and modern spirituality tend to focus on the “love and light” aspects of spiritual growth to their own doom. 

This over-emphasis on the fluffy, transcendental, and feel-good elements of a spiritual awakening results in shallowness and phobia of whatever is too real, earthy, or dark.

Spiritually bypassing one’s inner darkness results in a whole range of serious issues. Some of the most common and reoccurring Shadow issues that appear in the spiritual/religious community include pedophilia among priests, financial manipulation of followers among gurus, and of course, megalomania, narcissism, and God complexes among spiritual teachers.

Other issues that arise when we reject our Shadow side can include:

·  Hypocrisy (believing and supporting one thing, but doing the other)

·  Lies and self-deceit (both towards oneself and others)

·  Uncontrollable bursts of rage/anger

·  Emotional and mental manipulation of others

·  Greed and addictions

·  Phobias and obsessive compulsions

·  Racist, sexist, homophobic, and other offensive behavior

·  Intense anxiety

·  Chronic psychosomatic illness

·  Depression (which can turn into suicidal tendencies)

·  Sexual perversion

·  Narcissistically inflated ego

·  Chaotic relationships with others

·  Self-loathing

·  Self-absorption

·  Self-sabotage

… and many others. This is by no means a comprehensive list (and there are likely many other issues out there). As we’ll learn next, one of the greatest ways we reject our Shadow is through psychological projection.

VIII. The Shadow and Projection (a Dangerous Mix)

One of the biggest forms of Shadow rejection is something called projection.

Projection is a term that refers to seeing things in others that are actually within ourselves.

When we pair projection and the Shadow Self together, we have a dangerous mix. Why? Because as psychotherapist Robert A. Johnson writes:

“We generally seek to punish that which reminds us most uncomfortable about the part of ourselves that we have not come to terms with, and we often ‘see’ these disowned qualities in the world around us.”

There are many different ways we ‘punish’ those who are mirrors of our Shadow qualities. We may criticize, reject, hate, dehumanize, or even in extreme cases, physically or psychologically seek to destroy them (think of countries who go at war with the “enemies”). None of us are innocent in this area. We have ALL projected parts of our rejected self onto others. In fact, Shadow projection is a major cause of relationship dysfunction and break down.

If we are seeking to bring peace, love, and meaning to our lives, we absolutely MUST reclaim these projections. Through Shadow Work, we can explore exactly what we have disowned.

IX. Twelve Benefits of Shadow Work

Firstly, I want to say that I have the highest respect for Shadow Work. It is the single most important path I’ve taken to uncover my core wounds, core beliefs, traumas, and projections. I have also observed how Shadow Work has helped to create profound clarity, understanding, harmony, acceptance, release, and inner peace in the lives of others. It is truly deep work that makes changes on the Soul level targeting the very roots of our issues, not just the superficial symptoms.

There is SO much to be gained from making Shadow Work a part of your life, and daily routine. Here are some of the most commonly experienced benefits:

1.     Deeper love and acceptance of yourself

2.     Better relationships with others, including your partner and children

3.     More confidence to be your authentic self

4.     More mental, emotional, and spiritual clarity

5.     Increased compassion/understanding for others = who you dislike

6.     Enhanced creativity

7.     Discovery of hidden gifts and talents

8.     Deepened understanding of your passions and ultimate life purpose

9.     Improved physical and mental health

10.   More courage to face the unknown and truly live life

11.   Access to your Soul or Higher Self

12.   A feeling of Wholeness

It’s important to remember that there are no quick fixes in Shadow Work, so these life-changing benefits don’t just happen overnight. But with persistence, they will eventually emerge and bless your life.

X. Seven Tips for Approaching Shadow Work

Before you begin Shadow Work, you need to assess whether you’re ready to embark on this journey. Not everyone is prepared for this deep work, and that’s fine. We’re all at different stages. So pay attention to the following questions and try to answer them honestly:

·        Have you practiced self-love yet?

o   If not, Shadow Work will be too overwhelming for you. I have starred this bullet point because it is essential for you to consider. Shadow Work should not be attempted by those who have poor self-worth or struggle with self-loathing. In other words: if you struggle with severely low self-esteem, please do not attempt Shadow Work. I emphatically warn you against doing it. Why? If you struggle with extremely poor self-worth, exploring your Shadow will likely make you feel ten times worse about yourself. Before you walk this path, you absolutely must establish a strong and healthy self-image. No, you don’t have to think you’re God’s gift to the world, but having average self-worth is important. Try taking this self-esteem test to explore whether you’re ready (but first, don’t forget to finish this article!).

·        Are you prepared to make time? 

o   Shadow Work is not a lukewarm practice. You are either all in or all out. Yes, it is important to take a break from it from time to time. But Shadow Work requires dedication, self-discipline, and persistence. Are you willing to intentionally carve out time each day to dedicate to it? Even just ten minutes a day is a good start.

·        Are you looking to be validated or to find the truth? 

o   As you probably know by now, Shadow Work isn’t about making you feel special. It isn’t like typical spiritual paths that are focused on the feel-good. No, Shadow Work can be brutal and extremely confronting. This is a path for truth seekers, not those who are seeking to be validated.

·        Seek to enter a calm and neutral space. 

o   It is important to try and relax when doing Shadow Work. Stress and judgmental or critical attitudes will inhibit the process. So please try to incorporate a calming meditation or mindfulness technique into whatever you do.

·        Understand that you are not your thoughts. 

o   You need to realize that you are not your thoughts for Shadow Work to be healing and liberating. Only from your calm and quiet Center (also known as your Soul) can you truly be aware of your Shadow aspects. By holding them in awareness, you will see them clearly for what they are, and realize that they ultimately don’t define you; they are simply rising and falling mental phenomena.

·        Practice self-compassion.

o   It is of paramount importance to incorporate compassion and self-acceptance into your Shadow Work practice. Without showing love and understanding to yourself, it is easy for Shadow Work to backfire and make you feel terrible. So focus on generating self-love and compassion, and you will be able to release any shame and embrace your humanity.

·        Record everything you find. 

o   Keep a written journal or personal diary in which you write down, or draw, your discoveries. Recording your dreams, observations, and analysis will help you to learn and grow more effectively. You’ll also be able to keep track of your process and make important connections.

 XI. How to Practice Shadow Work

There are many Shadow Work techniques and exercises out there. In this guide, I will provide a few to help you start off. I’ll also share a few examples from my own life:

1. Pay attention to your emotional reactions

In this practice, you’ll learn that what you give power to has power over you. Let me explain:

One Shadow Work practice I enjoy a great deal is paying attention to everything that shocks, disturbs, and secretly thrills me. Essentially, this practice is about finding out what I’ve given the power to in my life unconsciously, because: what we place importance in – whether good or bad – says a lot about us.

The reality is that what we react to, or what makes us angry and distressed, reveals extremely important information to us about ourselves.

For example, by following where my “demons” have taken me – whether in social media, family circles, workspaces, and public places – I have discovered two important things about myself. The first one is that I’m a control freak; I hate feeling vulnerable, powerless and weak . . . it quite simply scares the living hell out of me. How did I discover this? Through my intense dislike of witnessing rape scenes in movies and TV shows, my negative reaction to novel experiences (e.g. roller coaster rides, public speaking, etc.), as well as my discomfort surrounding sharing information about my life with others in conversations. Also, by following where my “demons” have guided me I’ve discovered that I’m being burdened by an exasperating guilt complex that I developed through my religious upbringing. Apart of me wants to feel unworthy because that is what I’ve developed a habit of feeling since childhood (e.g. “You’re a sinner,” “It’s your fault Jesus was crucified”), and therefore, that is what I secretly feel comfortable with feeling: unworthy. So my mind nit-picks anything I might have done “wrong,” and I’m left with the feeling of being “bad” – which I’m used to, but nevertheless, this is destructive for my well-being.

Thanks to this practice, I have welcomed more compassion, mindfulness, and forgiveness into my life.

Paying attention to your emotional reactions can help you to discover exactly how your core wounds are affecting you on a daily basis.

How to Pay Attention to Your Emotional Reactions

To effectively pay attention to your emotional reactions (I call it “following the trail of your inner demons”), you first need to cultivate:

1. Self-awareness

Without being conscious of what you’re doing, thinking, feeling, and saying, you won’t progress very far.

If, however, you are fairly certain that you’re self-aware (or enough to start the process), you will then need to:

2. Adopt an open mindset

You will need to have the courage and willingness to observe EVERYTHING uncomfortable you place importance in, and ask “why?” What do I mean by the phrase “placing importance in”? By this, I mean that, whatever riles, shocks, infuriates, disturbs and terrifies you, you must pay attention to. Closely.

Likely, you will discover patterns constantly emerging in your life. For example, you might be outraged or embarrassed every time sex appears in a TV show or movie you like (possibly revealing sexual repression or mistaken beliefs about sex that you’ve adopted throughout life). Or you might be terrified of seeing death or dead people (possibly revealing your resistance to the nature of life or childhood trauma). Or you might be disgusted by alternative political, sexual, and spiritual lifestyles (possibly revealing your hidden desire to do the same).

There are so many possibilities out there, and I encourage you to go slowly, take your time, and one by one pick through what you place importance in.

“But I DON’T place importance in gross, bad or disturbing things in life, how could I? I don’t care for them!” you might be asking.

Well, think for a moment. If you didn’t place so much importance on what makes you angry, disgusted or upset . . . why would you be reacting to it so much? The moment you emotionally react to something is the moment you have given that thing power over you. Only that which doesn’t stir up emotions in us is not important to us.

See what you respond to and listen to what your Shadow is trying to teach you.

2. Artistically Express Your Shadow Self

Art is the highest form of self-expression and is also a great way to allow your Shadow to manifest itself.  Psychologists often use art therapy as a way to help patients explore their inner selves.

Start by allowing yourself to feel (or drawing on any existing) dark emotions. Choose an art medium that calls to you such as pen and pencil, watercolor, crayon, acrylic paint, scrapbooking, sculpting, etc. and draw what you feel. You don’t need to consider yourself an ‘artist’ to benefit from this activity. You don’t even need to plan what you’ll create. Just let your hands, pen, pencil, or paintbrush do the talking. The more spontaneous, the better. Artistic expression can reveal a lot about your obscure darker half. Psychologist Carl Jung (who conceptualized the Shadow Self idea) was even famous for using mandalas in his therapy sessions.

3. Start a Project

The act of creation can be intensely frustrating and can give birth to some of your darker elements such as impatience, anger, blood-thirsty competitiveness, and self-doubt. At the same time, starting a project also allows you to experience feelings of fulfillment and joy.

If you don’t already have a personal project that you’re undertaking (such as building something, writing a book, composing music, mastering a new skill), find something you would love to start doing. Using self-awareness and self-exploration during the process of creation, you will be able to reap deeper insights into your darkness. Ask yourself constantly, “What am I feeling and why?” Notice the strong emotions that arise during the act of creation, both good and bad. You will likely be surprised by what you find!

For example, as a person who considers myself non-competitive, that assumption has been challenged by the act of writing this blog. Thanks to this project, the Shadow within me of ruthless competitiveness has shown its face, allowing me to understand myself more deeply.

4. Write a Story or Keep a Shadow Journal

Goethe’s story Faust is, in my opinion, one of the best works featuring the meeting of an ego and his Shadow Self.  His story details the life of a Professor who becomes so separated and overwhelmed by his Shadow that he comes to the verge of suicide, only to realize that the redemption of the ego is solely possible if the Shadow is redeemed at the same time.

Write a story where you project your Shadow elements onto the characters – this is a great way to learn more about your inner darkness.  If stories aren’t your thing, keeping a journal or diary every day can shine a light on the darker elements of your nature.  Reading through your dark thoughts and emotions can help you to recover the balance you need in life by accepting both light and dark emotions within you.

5. Explore Your Shadow Archetypes

We have several Shadow varieties, also called Shadow Archetypes. These archetypes are sometimes defined as:

·        The Sorcerer/Alchemist

·        The Dictator

·        The Victim

·        The Shadow Witch

·        The Addict

·        The Idiot

·        The Trickster

·        The Destroyer

·        The Slave

·        The Shadow Mother

·        The Hag

·        The Hermit

However, I have my own Shadow Archetype classification, which I will include below.

13 Shadow Archetypes

Here are my thirteen classifications which are based on my own self-observations and analysis of others:

1.  The Egotistical Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: arrogance, egocentricity, pompousness, inconsiderateness, self-indulgence, narcissism, excessive pride.

2.  The Neurotic Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: paranoia, obsessiveness, suspiciousness, finicky, demanding, compulsive behavior.

3.  The Untrustworthy Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: secretive, impulsive, frivolous, irresponsible, deceitful, unreliable.

4.  The Emotionally Unstable Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: moody, melodramatic, weepy, overemotional, impulsive, changeable.

5.  The Controlling Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: suspicious, jealous, possessive, bossy, obsessive.

6.  The Cynical Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: negative, overcritical, patronizing, resentful, cantankerous.

7.  The Wrathful Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: ruthless, vengeful, bitchy, quick-tempered, quarrelsome.

8.  The Rigid Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: uptight, intolerant, racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic, obstinate, uncompromising, inflexible, narrow-minded.

9.  The Glib Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: superficial, cunning, inconsistent, sly, crafty.

10.  The Cold Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: emotionally detached, distant, indifferent, uncaring, unexcited.

11.  The Perverted Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: masochistic, lewd, sadistic, vulgar, libidinous.

12.  The Cowardly Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: weak-willed, passive, timid, fearful.

13.  The Immature Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: puerile, childish, illogical, simpleminded, vacuous.

Keep in mind that the above Shadow Archetypes are by no means exhaustive. I’m sure that there are many others out there which I have missed. But you are free to use this breakdown to help you explore your own Shadows. You’re also welcome to add to this list or create your own Shadow Archetypes, which I highly encourage. For example, you might possess a judgmental and dogmatic Shadow who you call “The Nun,” or a sexually deviant Shadow who you call “The Deviant.” Play around with some words and labels, and see what suits your Shadows the best.

6. Have an Inner Conversation

Also known as “Inner Dialogue,” or as Carl Jung phrased it, “Active Imagination,” having a conversation with your Shadow is an easy way to learn from it.

I understand if you might feel a twinge of skepticism towards this practice right now. After all, we are taught that “only crazy people talk to themselves.” But inner dialogue is regularly used in psychotherapy as a way to help people communicate with the various subpersonalities that they have – and we all possess various faces and sides of our ego.

One easy way to practice inner dialogue is to sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and tune into the present moment. Then, think of a question you would like to ask your Shadow, and silently speak it within your mind. Wait a few moments and see if you ‘hear’ or ‘see’ an answer. Record anything that arises and reflect on it. It is even possible to carry on a conversation with your Shadow using this method. Just ensure that you have an open mindset. In other words, don’t try to control what is being said, just let it flow naturally. You will likely be surprised by the answers you receive!

Visualization is another helpful way of engaging in inner dialogue. I recommend bringing to mind images of dark forests, caves, holes in the ground, or the ocean as these all represent the unconscious mind. Always ensure that you enter and exit your visualization in the same manner, e.g. if you are walking down a path, make sure you walk back up the path. Or if you open a particular door, make sure you open the same door when returning back to normal consciousness. This practice will help to draw you effortlessly in and out of visualizations.

7. Use the Mirror Technique

As we have learned, projection is a technique of the Shadow that helps us to avoid what we have disowned. However, we don’t only project the deeper and darker aspects of ourselves onto others, we also project our light and positive attributes as well. For example, a person may be attracted to another who displays fierce self-assertiveness, not realizing that this quality is what they long to reunite with inside themselves. Another common example (this time negative) is judgmentalism. How many times have you heard someone say “he/she is so judgmental!” Ironically, the very person saying this doesn’t realize that calling another person ‘judgmental’ is actually pronouncing a judgment against them and revealing their own judgmental nature.

The Mirror Technique is the process of uncovering our projections. To practice this technique, we must adopt a mindful and honest approach towards the world: we need to be prepared to own that which we have disowned! Being radically truthful with ourselves can be difficult, so it does require practice. But essentially, we must adopt the mindset that other people are our mirrors. We must understand that those around us serve as the perfect canvas onto which we project all of our unconscious desires and fears.

Start this practice by examining your thoughts and feelings about those you come in contact with. Pay attention to moments when you’re emotionally triggered and ask yourself “am I projecting anything?” Remember: it is also possible to project our own qualities onto another person who really does possess the qualities. Psychologists sometimes refer to this as “projecting onto reality.” For example, we might project our rage onto another person who is, in fact, a rage-filled person. Or we might project our jealousy onto another who genuinely is jealous.

Ask yourself, “What is mine, what is theirs, and what is both of ours?” Not every triggering situation reveals a projection, but they more than often do. Also, look for things you love and adore about others, and uncover the hidden projections there.

The Mirror Technique will help you to shed a lot of light onto Shadow qualities that you have rejected, suppressed, repressed, or disowned. On a side note, you might also like to read about a similar practice called mirror work which helps you to come face-to-face with your own denied aspects.

XII. Shadow Work Q&A

Here are some commonly asked questions about shadow work:

What is shadow work?

Shadow work is the psychological and spiritual practice of exploring our dark side or the ‘shadowy’ part of our nature. We all possess a place within us that contains our secrets, repressed feelings, shameful memories, impulses, and parts that are deemed “unacceptable” and “ugly.” This is our dark side or shadow self – and it is often symbolized as a monster, devil, or ferocious wild animal.

How to do shadow work?

There are many ways to practice shadow work. Some of the most powerful and effective techniques include journaling, artistically expressing your dark side (also known as art therapy), using a mirror to connect with this part of you (mirror work), guided meditations, exploring your projections, and examining your shadow archetypes.

What is the spiritual shadow?

There is light and darkness within all areas of life, and spirituality is not exempt. The spiritual shadow is what occurs when we fall into the traps of spiritual materialism – a phenomenon where we use spirituality to boost our egos and become arrogant, self-absorbed, and even narcissistic.

XIII. Shadow Self -Test

https://lonerwolf.com/shadow-self-test/

As passionate proponents of Shadow Work, we have created a free Shadow Self test on this website for you to take. Like any test, take it with a grain of salt and use your own analysis to ultimately determine how ‘dominant’ your Shadow is in your life. Please remember that tests online cannot be 100% accurate, so see it as a fun self-discovery tool. And note: those who receive a “small Shadow Self” answer still need to do Shadow Work. No person is exempt. ;)

XIV. Own Your Shadow and You Will Own Your Life

If you are looking for some serious, authentic and long-lived healing in your life, Shadow Work is the perfect way to experience profound inner transformation. Remember that what you internalize is almost always externalized in one form or another.

Own your shadow and you will own your life.

Here are some final inspiring words:

“The secret is out: all of us, no exceptions, have qualities we won’t let anyone see, including ourselves – our Shadow. If we face up to our dark side, our life can be energized. If not, there is the devil to pay. This is one of life’s most urgent projects. — Larry Dossey (Healing Words)”

“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.” — Gail Sheehy

“Who has not at one time or another felt a sourness, wrath, selfishness, envy and pride, which he could not tell what to do with, or how to bear, rising up in him without his consent, casting a blackness over all his thoughts … It is exceeding good and beneficial to us to discover this dark, disordered fire of our soul; because when rightly known and rightly dealt with, it can as well be made the foundation of heaven as it is of hell. — William Law”

“To confront a person with his own shadow is to show him his own light. — Carl Jung”

[just-a-random-cipher]

!Theories about Gravity Falls!

Enjoy Reading:)👁

I recently came to the understanding that some people in the Gravity Falls fandom are slightly confused as to what little the fandom knows about Bill Cipher’s past. Everyone who watches the show knows he comes from another dimension known as the Nightmare Realm, which is decaying and fated to be destroyed by its very own mechanisms. However, given the release of Journal 3 by Alex Hirsch and Disney, and a rather interesting and hidden page on the Disney XD site (found here), Bill’s background is obviously not as simple as him being a megalomaniacal, dimension hopping villain.

Let’s start with the Axolotl.

Most people know this amphibious being from the last few seconds Bill is alive. He says something close to, “Axolotl, my time has come to burn. I invoke the ancient power that I may return.” If you want to hear it yourself, check out any of the YouTube videos on the subject. However, this seems to point out that Bill knows of, or somehow personally knows, the Axolotl. This is where the hidden link comes into play. Below is a picture of where the link leads to.

Take note of the first highlighted section. Dipper is asking what the Axolotl knows about Bill Cipher. Now, seeing as the Axolotl resides in the “time and space between time and space,” it could have the ability to see and know all of what happens in other places of time and space. This would give the Axolotl a distanced, somewhat unbiased view of what happened in Bill’s original dimension.

The riddle that is boxed gives some insight into Bill’s past from what the Axolotl knows. The first two lines refer to Bill - proof of him being an equilateral triangle due to the three sixty degree angles the Axolotl describes.

The third and fourth lines explain what happened to Bill’s dimension. The dimension burned, and he misses it. The “can’t return” at the end of the fourth line seems to hint that he is trying to get back to his dimension, or is trying to undo its destruction. Also note that Bill watched his dimension burn, meaning he was likely already outside of his dimension. Say this was his first time dimension hopping, and his first time leaving his dimension had some kind of effect like Weirdmageddon did on Earth - only, instead of there being weirdness waves that changed the environment, it was something much worse which basically rendered the entire dimension uninhabitable or entirely wiped it from existence.

Moving on, the Axolotl implies that Bill is lying to himself about being happy, and possibly other things. “Blame the arson for the fire”  could have several meanings at this point. Was there someone else who actually destroyed Bill’s universe? Should we be blaming Bill because he is the arson? Does Bill blame someone else who is the true arson? Seeing as the word “Blame” is a mere imperative verb that is ordering a person or thing to do something, and there is no other person or personal pronouns given in the sentence, it is hard to say who the Axolotl is ordering. If it was “blames,” then it could be derived that it means “Bill blames” since “You blames,” referring to Dipper and likely the only other person the Axolotl could be thinking of in this context, doesn’t make grammatical sense.

The seventh line seems fairly obvious, and the only questions left are: who is Bill shirking the blame to, and what blame precisely? He has supposedly committed hundreds of atrocities and probably broken all the laws in every universe just to say he did, so is he putting the blame for all of his actions on someone else, or just a singular time where he was to blame?

The eighth line likely connects to Bill’s last moments in Stan’s mind. As stated before, Bill says “Axolotl, my time has come to burn. I invoke the ancient power that I may return.” Notice how Bill uses Axolotl’s name, and later says invoke. Kinda obvious connection there. But also note how Bill says “my time has come to burn.” Now, we do see literal fire taking over Stan’s mind, but we never see him actually burn. Of course, this could also point toward a more metaphorical description or that he just needed to rhyme, just as the Axolotl did in answering Dipper’s question, in order to truly invoke the Axolotl.He could also be referencing that he is dying, and that he probably should have died ages ago with the rest of his dimension which burned, but hey. I look for double meanings everywhere. Especially with Bill Cipher.

As for the last two lines… The fandom can only speculate on it. Bill can only liberate himself by doing one singular thing. And apparently a different form and different time are involved. That could have many different meanings. “Different form” could be physically or mentally - Bill could be a different shape, could be reborn as another species somehow, could reaffirm himself and admit the truth, or he could simply get some kind of interdimensional cold and be “out of shape.” The other half seems pretty obvious: “a different time.” It could be the future, the past, the present, the in between times, or even the second or third or hundredth time he tries to make amends.

A different form and time could also refer to a different universe, which holds a different form and different times, or himself entering Gravity Falls’ dimension and gaining a physical body (new form) and trying to start a new reign in another dimension that (this time) won’t just collapse someday without warning.

Basically, the Axolotl states that (in my own opinion) Bill possibly had a hand in the destruction of his home dimension, but likely tried to stop said destruction and failed. He misses his home and can’t return, but is still trying to find a way back to it. He’s lying to himself and someone is definitely to be blamed for the destruction of his universe, but he won’t admit to it. Bill needs the Axolotl in order to put the blame on someone else, and there is only one way, in another time and another form, that he can free himself from the blame.

Alright. Onto The Oracle. Finally.

In the Third Journal, Ford explains what exactly what happened for those 30 years he was missing. After getting attacked in a 2-D Dimension, he met The Oracle in Dimension 52. She knew all about him and his “mission” to defeat Bill. She was the one who helped Ford get a metal plate in his head. She also was the one who told Ford about Bill’s past.

The first few things I want to go over is the page in which Ford depicts The Oracle. She stands, staring with crossed arms partially obscuring an amulet, in front of what seem to be tapestries of the Axolotl. Bubbles and/or orbs seem to be hanging from the ceiling and rising from the floor in front of the tapestries.

The Third Journal does show that some people in the multiverse know of the Axolotl and the Oracle seems to have some kind of psychic power, evidence when she knew Stanford’s name, his purpose, and what he was destined to do. So perhaps that isn’t as interesting as it first appears. The amulet is also rather intriguing… Could it be in the shape of an eye?

But what about the bubbles and orbs?

I kinda feel like I’m looking too deeply into this, but the only other time when bubbles seem to be important is during Weirdmageddon when Bill uses a bubble to trap Mabel and unleashes weirdness bubbles on the town. It seems somewhat weird that the person who gives Ford all the answers seems to have some kind of connection to Bill - albeit a stretched connection with just these pieces of information in hand. It just seems too much like he’s being used again, which I’ll get into later.

Ford, on some level, seems to notice the connection between the Oracle and Bill. The symbols underlined above the circled Axolotl can be decrypted to read, “The opposite of Bill.” This seems to make sense with what little we know of her. She seems to know all, but never tells Ford that she is indeed psychic or omniscient - notice how Ford states, “Whether she was psychic or had just read my wanted poster is hard to say,” implying that he doesn’t know how she knew about him. She is also noted to be “calm” when talking about her desire to end Bill’s reign. However, Bill seems to believe himself to be omniscient due to his ability to peer into all realms from his Nightmare Realm. But he constantly doesn’t foresee issues - Mabel knocking the safe’s code out of his hands in Dreamscaperers and outsmarting him in Sock Opera, the Weirdness Containment Bubble around Gravity Falls, the dino-arm pulling his eye out, the Stans swapping clothes. He also is known to be rather hotheaded and, as many people in the fandom point out, likely to be insane.

Now, you might be wondering where all this comes into play, right? Well, if you look at the second page, where Ford details their encounter a bit more, he says that the Oracle told him that Bill was power hungry, which caused him to burn his dimension and everything and everyone in it.

That doesn’t sound like what the Axolotl said, right? Which is why people are conflicted on what, or rather who, to believe.

But why would she shape her words into something that Ford could easily misinterpret? Well, first things first: she’s an oracle and prophecies can be easily misinterpreted. But that seemed to fit a bit too easily, so I looked a little harder at the wording of the document and came to one conclusion:

She wants Bill dead and out of the picture.

My reasoning? 1) Look at the line “She spoke of him without anger, but with a calm, steely, clinical resolve to see his reign end.” Pretty straight forward. Ford can tell that she doesn’t like Bill’s reign and will not stop until he is stopped. 2) “She… said I had the face of the man who was destined to destroy Bill.” She said destroy Bill, not Ford’s constant “defeat” that he mentions throughout the series. Destroy means to utterly annihilate, reduce to nothing, ruin emotionally and spiritually, to kill. If this is what she said to him, then she obviously wasn’t just messing around. 3) Ford and her spent the entire night partying after she revealed this. They were partying about someone’s death. Kinda harsh

There is one other point that really hammers it into me that the Oracle was manipulating her own words: her own name. The first paragraph reveals her name to be Jheselbraum the Unswerving. The Unswerving. Which means that once she’s dedicated to something - like destroying a dimension hopping demon by the name of Bill - she will not stop until she succeeds.

Seeing as Ford mysteriously found himself in another dimension after he and the Oracle partied together, it’s pretty obvious that she didn’t tell Ford about him being destined to defeat Bill until that last day. You’d expect someone whom could pull someone out of another dimension into their own, whom knew who Ford was way before they met, whom already had a difficult surgery in mind to aid Ford, and whom was obviously invested in taking Bill down to simply tell Ford that he was the multiverse’s savior, right?

She instead kept it all a secret until the last day, at which point Ford was even more resolute to kill Bill instead of just defeating him and keeping him out of his dimension. 

So who do you trust more? Or do you trust no one? On one hand you have a mysterious being that answered Dipper’s question with a riddle instead of a straight answer, and said riddle could be seen in a variety of lights. On the other, you have an equally mysterious Oracle who might have manipulated her words to ensure Ford’s resolve against Bill.

It's just my opinion! So you don't have to say anything about it! :)))

[astroyongie]

Past Life Serie: The Secrets Of Reincarnation

Past Life Serie, is a Serie where we discover the past life of a member before he reincarnared in this life we know today. As always I’ve used tarot and oracles to cover as much as I could ❤️ hope you guys will enjoy ! Remember to take this with a grain of salt, and don’t judge! A lot of People take this belief seriously so be respectful and just have fun !

Side note: you are free to request for other idols. If you wanna know about yourself please contact me on twitter. Also past life readings are longer and more difficult to do, thus the rules are different than usual readings that I give

WARNING ⚠️: mentions of sexual harassment

Kun

Sex:

Female

Looks:

Kun was a curvy tall girl, someone with long curly hair and dark eyes. I believe he was more for the dark skin and he has a long nose and intimidating aura despite their gentle nature

Astrological sign:

Cancer with Aries Rising

Their Past Life:

During this life, Kun was someone that have struggled with which path to take. Not because he had many opportunities but actually because he was unfortunately stuck in a very precise lifestyle and he dreamt of changing and be someone else

He was someone very tempered, very calm. It wasn’t in his nature but he learnt it from the harsh life he had

He was the most happy with his family, in his home, in the comfort and security on of his house. He didn’t had an excited love life and family was everything to him in that life

His energy is and was very.. heavy. As a matter of fact I believe that Kun lived in the middle of the segregation and that during that life he went through some abuse (mental but mostly physical)

He was someone that worked a lot, or at least that did what he has to do to earn his life and he never ever complained about it. He (unfortunately) understood how things worked and he did his best to be a good person and to faithful to his work

The only positive thing is that his good work rewarded him during his short life

How Many Times Have They Lived:

21

Karmic Chains:

Kun has a heavy negative karmic cycle that always pushes him toward a very deep dark hole and he has always to bring himself out of pain by himself. It’s a chain that only him can deal with and in every of his lives he learns that unfortunately there’s some thing that he needs to do by himself

In order to win he needs to lose. It’s a very tricky chain since it makes him learn that it’s important to go through some stuff in order to become a better and wiser person

Tea Facts:

Kun actually died in a very young age , he was less than 25 years old

His spiritual guides are animals and in every one of his human lives , he will hold special and discreet relationships with them

Like I have said he was someone that worked excessively. He didn’t have a choice and also because it was the only way he knew that assured him survival

He was also pretty submissive (again based on the context and btw fuck that period). He never voiced his opinion, never went against the rules even though he has the character to

He had a precise goal in that incarnation and once it was completed he had to go

Kun was a dreamer and he spent lot of his time wondering for a better place

I believed that he held so much inside, he was definitely emotionally damaged and it’s an energy that it’s still very active today : the not talking about his feelings

[bloopbyoop]

weep woop

ayo. ive read my scheduled email and its time for freewriting shit again. lmao. I want this post to be like a small light from a lit match stick inside a very hollow, icy, and numbing cave. (sounds cartoonish right? I know. Im obsessed with Adventure Time.) I want all people to be genuinely happy.  Spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Upon reaching my 24th anniversary in this world, I finally learned how to truly embrace all my emotions. Some are more overwhelming than the other, but we have to heed in our treacherous yet perplexing minds that everything is fleeting and we are in control. The feeling of extreme sadness fades, but so does joyful states. Everything can change in a matter of minutes or years. You are in control of all your emotions. You are in control of all your life choices. Your actions. Your words. Your perspective. It feels weird to actually write about it. I've wanted to talk about it. I never wanted help from anyone as I firmly believed that I was alone. Sure, I have a family and friends, but it is hard to see that when your head is clouded with negativity. I've even come to the point where I was too overwhelmed, I found being physically hurt less painful. The pain I felt distracted me from what I was thinking. My mind tended to go bonkers. lmao. But bro, I was so good at concealing my bonkers mind. It's easy to fake any emotion that you have. Slap anything sunshine-y or happy to anything and people would believe you. It went on for years. Long story short, thousands of bracelets collected, it became worse. The physical pain could no longer withhold the emotional pain. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't stop thinking. And voila! I found a good amount of self help books (from tumblr) and novels. Novels that brought me to different places. Self-help books that made me understand what I feel and what to do. I've read that taking the easy way out will leave everyone sad. AND IN THE FIRST PLACEEEEEE, I NEVER WANT THATTTTTTT. I want everyone to be happy. I would act foolish and do dumb shit to make everyone happy in a heartbeat. So, that idea made me push a few more years. Later on, the crippling shit came crawling back again to my head, sooooooo I needed new shit to keep me distracted again. Films, series, music, and short clips from YouTube helped me out a lot. Every single time that my mind is going to think like anything that can think of, even to the point that I was just going to think that I might be hungry, I'd watch something. There's just something about silence for me. Because of this new habit of mine, I've learned more about myself. I love different types of things. I like horror. I like thriller. I like comedy. I like romance. I love all types of films, but there is something about the horror genre that interests me. I still can't point out what, but I love watching horror films. With regards to music, I've learned that I love Indie, Punk Rock, Rap, and Pop. We all can't like a specific genre. It's stupid to ask "what genre of music do you like?". It's not actually stupid-stupid, it's just stupid. Ya know? Anyway, passing this phase, I needed to find something again because it's not doing the shit that it was supposed to, I tried investing more time on video games. By investing more, I mean a whole shit lot. I love video games since I was young cuz.... u know.... they keep u... try to guess it! oh yeah. you got that right! distracted! I love the aggressive plays and trashtalks that my friends and I make. The short stories we tell one another. The rants. The lame jokes. The late night we sound drunk but we are not drunk jokes. The roleplays. The lame jokes. The memes. And once again, The lame jokes. Something about lame jokes and the laughs and curses after that always gets me every single time. Oh shoot. Yup Yup. Few years later, I finally noticed the pattern that my sadness is temporary. I got over it one way or the other (or another. depends on how you wanna read it. i dont wanna say another cause i might write about one direction like what im doing now so-). Happiness is temporary as well. But, we are the ones who are actually in control of our emotions. If you wanna feel sad, be sad for a while. You're getting too sad? Try hanging out with your funny friends. Can't do that? Find an alternative. Watch a movie, knit a sweater. Anything your mind could think of as long as it will keep you mentally distracted from being physically and mentally hurt. I do have a few notes though. We cannot and should never assume what people are going through. It may be petty for you, but it may be very crucial to them. So never everrrr say things like: -Some people have it worse than you -At least you have ..... These sheetsss are annoying as heckkk and could really down someone. I know it is not your intention to annoy but people react differently. alsooooooo, it is not okay or normal to hate on things for bandwagon. that is just plainly crazy and stupid. let people enjoy things. anddddddd never suppress your emotions. admit what you feel inside and try to think of a way to resolve ittttt. keeping it to yourself will just make it worseeeeee. find your own outlettttttttt. hihihi ️ alsooooo. being more spiritually full with God's words and ideas really help me to be spiritually happy. ps. im christian but i dont discredit other religion and even applaud other religion's ideas and beliefs. this is a really long, selfish post so i might as well recommend some things I like : Songs with their lyrics that made me go through life. “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier” -All These Things That I've Done, The Killers “It's not too late, I'm still right here” -Breaking Your Own Heart, Kelly Clarkson "And the salt in my wounds / Isn't burning any more than it used to / It's not that I don't feel the pain / It's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore / And the blood in these veins / Isn't pumping any less than it ever has / And that's the hope I have / The only thing I know that's keeping me alive" -Last Hope, Paramore “There is not a single word in the whole world / That could describe the hurt / The dullest knife just sawing back and forth / And ripping through the softest skin there ever was / How were you to know?” -Hate to See Your Heartbreak, Paramore "It's holding on, though the road's long / And seeing light in the darkest things And when you stare at your reflection / Finally knowing who it is / I know that you'll thank God you did" -1800, Logic "Did some things you can't speak of / But at night you live it all again / You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now / If only you had seen what you know now then" -Innocent, Taylor Swift (My bb) "10 months sober, I must admit / Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it / 10 months older, I won't give in / Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it // Rain came pouring down when I was drowning / That's when I could finally breathe / And by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean" -Clean, Taylor Swift “I guess I always knew / That I had all the strength to make it through.” -Believe in Me, Demi Lovato "I'm addicted to the madness / I'm a daughter of the sadness / I've been here too many times before / Been abandoned and I'm scared now / I can't handle another fallout / I am fragile, just washed upon the shore / They forget me, don't see me / When they love me, they leave me" -I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me, Demi Lovato “I'm overwhelmed / I need a voice to echo / I need a light to take me home / I need a star to follow / I don't know” -Nightingale, Demi Lovato "I'm a walking travesty / But I'm smiling at everything. // Arrogant boy, Love yourself so no one has to." -Therapy, All Time Low "I tried it once before but I didn't get too far / I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart. / But maybe I'm alive 'cause I didn't really wanna die / But nothing very special ever happens in my life / Take the blade away from me I am a freak, I am afraid that / All the blood escaping me won't end the pain / And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me / I died to be the white ghost / Of the man that I was meant to be" -Ghost, Badflower "Are the pieces of you / In the pieces of me? / I'm just so scared / You're who I'll be / When I erupt / Just like you do / They look at me / Like I look at you" -DNA, Lia Marie Johnson Movies and series to try : -The Perks of Being a Wallflower (The book is bomb af. if yall havent tried, ur missing out) -The Kings of Summer -Never Let Me Go -The Art of Getting By -Silver Linings Playbook -Winter’s Bone -The Lovely Bones (The script. The words) -Me and Earl and the Dying Girl -American Horror Story -Black Swan

pps. remember that every one has their own pace and point of view. don’t push yourself too hard, and don’t overthink. give yourself time, and respect all your emotions. analyze them but not more than like 5 minutes as anything beyond that might cause you to overthink and be sadder. and sad is not rad. hehe. you got this. you got you. self love is the best even though it can be tricky to do. nobody else is like you. you’re the only one of you (i just remembered me.......... i might have hummed it while typing it mid sentence). consider other people’s opinion but do not let it cloud your own judgement as you know yourself best. dont let other comment’s define you. spread love. vibe people you vibe with. ayeeee lets go!!! 

ppps this is my last post bc im happier now and know myself better. i no longer limit myself on the age that I want. I want to live as long as how God wants me to be. hehe. 

x :D

[swiftful-thinking13]

Bella I love you sm!!!!! Can you share your secret sessions experience??

enjoy! <3

When I was a young and spry 20 year old, @taylorswift​ stalked this blog for two weeks straight. Leading up to secret session, she liked posts from me every single day around the same time. It was quite literally the most terrifying time of my life. Anyway, one day I was sitting on my couch and I received a DM that changed my entire life. I sprinted downstairs to show my dad, and his response was a very calm and collected, “cool!” I ran into my room and started jumping up and down. The excitement I felt was unmatched. I had three days to mentally, emotionally, and physically prepare for the greatest day of my life. On that faithful Sunday, I made my way to the meeting place. I pulled up to the valet and they asked straight away if I was there for “The Taylor thing.” At this point I had no idea what to expect. I didn’t even want to believe it was actually secret session because I didn’t want to get my hopes up LMAO. Anyway, I checked in and started chatting with a few other girls. This is also when I met one of my best Australian friends aka @in-her-wildest-dreams! I could not BELIEVE that she was there. We were all jittery with excitement when they announced that it was time to start heading over to Taylor’s house. On the bus ride there, they played Taylor’s music so we were all singing along while shitting ourselves. After we arrived at her house, it was announced to us that were at secret session and we all lost our fucking minds. We hung out in her backyard, eating snacks, looking out at the GORGEOUS view from her backyard, and socializing with everyone else. I talked with Tree for awhile, and she was ridiculously nice and welcoming. She asked me where I was from and I said “here” LOL (it was only a half-hour drive from my house). After eating sushi on her jacuzzi ledge, it was time for the ~session~. My friends and I queued up first and we ended up sitting directly in front of her chair. I thought I was actually going to die at this point. I don’t think I let go of my friend’s hand that entire time LOL. Out of nowhere, the whole room erupted in blood-curdling screams. This was the moment. This was it. I turned around, and I spotted my hero in her tall, beautiful, curly-haired glory. Nothing felt real in this moment. I had tears in my eyes and the world moved in slow motion. She had to climb over like 70 people to reach the chair that stood three feet in front of me. This is going to sound weird and creepy, but when she sat down, I could not stop staring at her. She is hands down the most beautiful and electric soul I have ever had the honor of being in the presence of. Her whole aura is warmth. She spoke so eloquently and made everyone feel special for being there. I could have sat there and listened to her talk all day. At this point, I won’t give you any details about what happened during this part because I swore on my life to keep her words and stories private unlike other disloyal, dumbass rep sessioners :) However, I will tell you that Taylor and I danced together, we aggressively sang “gorgeous” to each others’ faces, she sang soooo many lyrics to my face that are branded on my heart forever, she personally asked me to help pass out the rep magazines, she laughed at me at least 5 different times because of my dramatic reactions to her spicy lyrics, and at the end of new year’s day my friends and I bowed at her feet. It was ICONIC. After we heard the album, she left the room and left us to look through the rep magazines. People began lining up to meet her and that’s when I made the conscious decision to stay behind and chill out on her floor with my friend. We couldn’t stop raving about reputation and how perfect it is. We spent at least 2-3 hours sitting on Taylor’s rug and eating snacks until the line died down. Finally, around 12:45am, we got in line. This was the moment I waited for since I was 9 years old. As we stood in line, the girl in front of me kept talking to me, which was annoying because I was trying to draft in my head what I was going to say to Taylor. The funniest moment of the night was when it was the girl in front of me’s turn to meet Taylor and I SHOVED this poor girl into Taylor’s arms. The girl was talking to me while I could see Taylor looking at her so I quickly turned this bitch around and I shoved her into the room. Taylor, TN, and her security all JUMPED LMAO I literally thought they were going to kick me out for doing that but it was chill. The girl behind me was laughing so much because I literally pushed this poor girl into Taylor’s arms kfjgdhsjakl anyway…it was finally my turn and I’ll NEVER forget her face. Her entire being lit up and we went in for a giant hug. It was one of those tight hugs where you sway with the person and hold them for a little too long *maybe I’m tearing up while writing this lmao*. It felt like reuniting with an old friend. I wasn’t nervous at all. I was surprisingly cool, calm, and collected. I told her everything I wanted to tell her and she was as kind and gracious as I could have ever dreamed. She spent the first five minutes of our conversation complimenting ME. She was like “You’re so beautiful! You are SO lovely! You have the most beautiful smile! I love your dress! You are the SWEETEST” and I was just like ??? how the FUCK is this real life rn??? She held my hands the whole time and even complimented my snake ring. She put her hand next to mine and said, “twins!” We were also wearing the same nail polish. I spoke to her about something private and it was just…beautiful? therapeutic? spiritual? it was everything. She could not have been more kind and reassuring. The funniest part of our interaction was when it was time for our picture. She is the one who suggested that we hug in the picture. She said, “you’re so cute and tiny, let’s do a hugging one!” After we got into position, the photographer took the picture and said, “ooop, let’s do another one.” So we took another one. The photographer then said, “Taylor…STOP BLINKING.” Taylor was fucking ADORABLE omg she was like “oh my god, I’m so so sorry!” to me and I was like “GIRL NO WORRIES IT’S FINE” and FINALLY after the third take, we got our picture. I thanked her once again for having me and she hugged me tight and said, “You are the sweetest. Thank you for coming and promise me that you will get home safe?” We exchanged I love you’s and that was that. I was handed a goody bag, ushered back into a van, and was forced to digest what on earth just happened. Her body guard was so kind to me and offered to walk with me back to my car. He asked me if I had a good time and I said “it was the best day of my entire life” and he laughed. I got back to my car at 1:16 am and called my parents to tell them I was on my way home. They said that I was hysterical and completely incoherent, which makes sense. The drive home was a blur and so was the rest of that week. I don’t even remember going to class. All I remember is how loved and special I felt, all thanks to Taylor. After this experience, I feel even more fiercely protective of her than I did before, which I didn’t even think was possible. She’s like a big sister to me. I love her endlessly and I’ll support her until the end of time. 

[islamicrays]

Salam , recently divorced , he left me for no reason , Allah is my witness that I never failed to please him , I’m still getting over him , but I ended up back at my mums, dealing with a non- practicing family on a daily basis , music , swearing etc, can’t even find a place to pray in without being interfered , sleeping on a couch, no space for me , emotionally abusive mother , blaming me for what happened to me , making me depressed even more , Patience , Alhamdulilah .

Walaikum Assalaam,

I understand you are going through a tough time and its even more difficult when you don't have a supportive family but remember Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is with you and He won't burden you with something that you can't handle. With every hardship; their is ease. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala test those whom He loves. If possible go for counselling if you can't then I am posting here an article how to heal after divorce and some quotes that will help you in shaa Allah

"Divorce…

The daunting and awkward topic that no one seems to want to discuss in public because of the stigma attached to it. Yes, divorces can be messy due to a number of factors; and when children are involved, it’s twice as complicated. You feel a whole array of mixed emotions that are difficult to internalize or accept. To be honest, this is perfectly normal because the reality is, the person you were so certain you would spend the rest of your life with, is no longer your life partner. A number of thoughts bombard you at once; how will I manage as a single parent, will I ever forgive my former spouse, how will society view me? How will I heal my broken heart?

The hardship of divorce

People often don’t realise how agonizing a divorce can be. On the surface, it may seem like two people are being unreasonable or irresponsible, but the truth is, most people do not realise the transgressions that have taken place behind closed doors which have caused a couple to decide to divorce. The reasons can be so vast; it could be an abusive partner, whether that is physical, mental, verbal or emotional abuse. At this point, I should mention that it’s important to realise the severity of any form of abuse. It could lead to psychological damage being embedded in an individual which in turn makes positive change difficult.

It could be that your partner is cheating on you, or that your spouse has left Islam, or just the simple fact that you both do not get along anymore. Whatever the reason behind the divorce, never forget thatAllah subhanahu wa ta'ala never leaves you and it is He who will bring you ease after hardship. 

I personally find that in all situations that we perceive as a calamity, there is always wisdom behind it. Throughout this difficult period, it is absolutely vital for you to always be conscious of the fact that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tests those whom He loves, and that you should never lose hope in His Mercy.

Divorcing can be painful but it is one of many tests we may face in this life. During my experience, I have learnt a few things that I want to share with you to overcome this trial.

1. Hold on to your salah

Salah is the primary step to healing one’s self. I am a mother so I completely sympathise with mothers who are unable to pray their salah on time, but during this time of difficulty, you need your sujood! During a divorce, not only do you become consumed by all of your responsibilities, especially when there are children, but your emotions can paralyse you.

This is the time to reconnect with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in solitude and to release stress by speaking to Allah and asking Him for help. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala commands us:

“O you who believe seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with those who are patient.” [Qur’an: Chapter 2, Verse 153]

2. Look for happiness in the mundane

During a divorce, it is very easy to let all the negatives be at the forefront of your mind rather than all of the blessings that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has given you. This is a dangerous mentality to have that can depress you. So whenever the hardships in life consume you, remember this ayah that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala revealed to the people of Musa (may Allah be pleased with him) when they were being persecuted:

“If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor].” [Qur’an: Chapter 4, Verse 7]

Take a moment to reflect on what you have to be thankful for. This could be a supportive family, children who smile, or even something as basic as having a hot coffee in the morning, or the fact that you get to wake up in the mornings and have functioning limbs…

We forget that even the simple things in life are blessings. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala reminds us 33 times in Surat ArRahman:

“So which of your Lords favours will you deny?” [Qur’an: Chapter 55, Verse 13]

3. Take up a hobby

Find a way to occupy your time so that you do not become consumed by your emotions.

For me, a friend encouraged and pushed me to take up memorizingthe Qur’an. This honestly helped me in more ways than I could imagine. Not only did it help me develop my relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, but it also pushed me to take the steps in learning Qur’anic Arabic.

SubhanAllah, words alone can not describe the beauty of learning the Qur’an and the sense of tranquility that encompasses you. The way Allah’s subhanahu wa ta'ala words can humble you in seconds and put you at ease, or how some verses correct your affairs through obedience to Him.

Alongside my memorization, I also started to take steps towards a healthcare profession, alhamdulillah,and I am still currently pursuing it. Give yourself something to strive for, and give your time a purpose with an achievable goal. Even if it just for an hour or two a day, if you take your mind away from the stresses of divorce, it will really benefit you spiritually and mentally.

4. Control your tongue

Divorcing with children is not the easiest of things to deal with while remaining patient. It is so important to control your tongue and not letshaytan allow you lose your composure, not only as a mother or father, but also as a person who fears Allah suhanahu wa ta'ala . There may be times when you are angry, but in this situation, your words can be like a sword andsuch words uttered in this state may not be forgivable or forgotten. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

“He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must either speak good or remain silent.” [Sahih Muslim].

Sometimes you are angry, you don’t want to forgive. You are hurt, and you feel violated. Divorce is hard. Especially when it drags on back and forth and there is animosity between the spouses, but it is for this reason that you need to be extra cautious of the words you utter. This is a time where shaytan knows you can accumulate sins by letting your emotions take control. So, don’t let him win.

5. Seek help

Talk to someone, a friend or a therapist and seek emotional support for internalizing your emotions. I was fortunate enough to have a very supportive family with me, however if you are a victim of abuse, then it is important to seek professional help.

Isolation may be okay for a short period of time when you are internalizing what has happened, but for long periods of time this could be detrimental to your deen and this is what shaytan loves. Surround yourself with people who remind you of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and encourage you to seek knowledge so that your relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala strengthens.

6. Know that it gets better

This brings me to my final, and possibly, my most important point. Who can honestly say  alhamdulillahand sincerely mean it when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has decreed a hardship for them? The majority of us struggle with accepting the last pillar of faith: qadar.

How many times do we ask: “why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? If I could go back, I would have done things differently!”

In this situation, we need to put our trust in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and with no doubt in our hearts know that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has decreed what is best, and whether we see the wisdom behind it in this dunyaor in the akhirah is up to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala only tests those He loves and these tests are designed to strengthen you and prepare you for what’s ahead.

One of the mothers of the believers, Ramlah bint Abi Sufyan (Umm Habiba), upon emigrating to Abyssinia, her husband had left Islam and became Christian. When faced between remaining with him or choosing Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, she chose Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Her husband died shortly after from consuming too much alcohol. Being in a foreign country without family meant that she wasn’t left with many options, and so she decided to put her complete trust in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and live her life for His sake.SubhanAllah, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala then replaced her husband with the greatest man to walk this earth. She married the beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

Divorce is not the end, nor is it something that tarnishes a person or diminishes their worth. Sometimes relationships do not work out and it is important to remember that when you die, you die alone. When you meet Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, you meet Him alone. It can be heartbreaking to lose the person you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, but no matter what happens, you will never lose Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. He will always be there for you. Don’t let a divorce have permanent negative effects on you, use this calamity as a catalyst to get closer to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and I promise, just like I did, you will come out a stronger person."

- Iman Umm Samara

“Being divorced is not the end of the world. It could be the biggest blessing & lead to something much better, bringing about much goodness. Many people have found more compatible spouses & are leading happier lives. There is no point in holding grudges or becoming depressed over a marriage that did not work. Make an effort to look for a more appropriate spouse & the Almighty will open the doors!"

-Mufti Ismail Menk

"Dear fathers, there is no dishonour for you if your child return backs to you if things didn't work out and it ended in divorce.

Rasūlullāh ﷺ took back two of his daughters after they were unjustly divorced - and he showered them with even more love, honour, and affection. That is the essence of manhood."

Shaykh Mohammed Aslam

"To all those individuals going through relationship problems, separation, divorce, don’t despair! Live in faith. What may seem like a series of unfortunate events may be the first steps to an amazing journey"

-Qasim Rafique

You are in my prayers. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make things easier for you.

Allahumma Ameen

[homestuck-kinstuff]

may i have a tarot reading for my nepeta timeline? thank you.

Hello Nepeta

Absolutely dear, it would be a pleasure. 💜

Sorry for the tardiness, things are always just a hair on the side of insane these days. I have your full reading below the cut:

Beginning

Eight of Cups, Upright:

Looking back on a situation, you've realized it's toxic nature and have made the difficult decision to leave it behind. However, you've still abandoned something that was once very dear to you, and you feel that loss deeply.

At a young age, you were forced or raised into a difficult situation. You had the self-awareness to realize fairly quickly that this was a situation that did you more harm than good.

With regard to an Alternian upbringing, it's possible your lusus wasn't taking very good care of you, and you decided it was in your best interests to strike out on your own.

Middle

The Emperor, Upright:

The Emperor represents the archetypal "Father Figure," bringing structure, authority, and stern but understanding guidance. In his advice, he emphasizes wisdom of the head over that of the heart.

If, in your timeline, you had any sort of relationship with Equius, this is likely when he became a part of your life.

If not Equius, than this signified the arrival of another good authority figure in your life. They left a huge impression on you, and positively impacted many aspects of your timeline.

Towards the End

Knight of Wands, Upright:

The Knight of Wands is easily driven to action. They dislike biding time and plan-making, as they are gifted with a blazing passion when pursuing a vision. This can make their bravery a little impulsive, brash, or bordering on unrealistic.

At this point in your life, it's likely you were filled with an idea, something you felt you needed to do. Those around you may have been discussing details that felt trivial, or wasting time planning when the need for action was burning you up inside.

It's also possible during this time most of your life was consumed by a figure who possessed the above qualities. A sometimes impulsive, fearless, action oriented individual with a powerful vision for themselves or others.

Challenges

Four of Wands, Upright:

This card represents community. A celebration of harmony, happiness, and the good relationships that are born from those things. It indicates this joy blooms after a period of hard word, and it is usually in regards to families, or other larger groups of people.

You likely struggled to keep the peace among your group of friends. There was likely often bickering, or people splitting off on their own, just a general lack of togetherness that made teamwork, and then later enjoying the fruits of your labor near impossible.

It's also possible that you had trouble allowing yourself to be a part of that kind of joyful community. You may have created conflict or dissonance in a group.

Another possibility: you may have often withdrawn from others, pulling back into yourself, denying yourself the joys that come with a community. It may have been hard for you to relate to others, or you perhaps didn't know how to reach out to others if you needed help or a friend.

How You Faced Them

Seven of Swords, Reversed:

You were in a position where you needed to lie, betray, and steal to survive, but a spark within you is beginning to yearn for change. You have within you the desire for reform, for growth into a new and better you.

It's likely you lied about or hid how you were truly feeling from your group of friends. It may have been exhausting to keep up with this fake friendly front, but to you, it was better and easier than being vulnerable, than actively taking a part in your little community.

But you realized you needed change. You knew on some level that this way of relating to your peers was hurting you, and you longed to give up the act. Whether or not you followed through on these desires, I'm not sure.

You

Queen of Pentacles, Reversed:

Reversed as she is, the Queen of Pentacles speaks to a work-home imbalance. She implies you may be pulled in too many directions, so you cannot give enough to any party.

At your core, you are someone who loves to give your all for your friends.

But you give too much, with little to no regard for your personal resources. You don't know or don't care how much any one task will cost you: emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually.

This often causes you to spread yourself to thin, and the people you care about arent getting the full scope of what they needed from you.

The End

Temperance, Upright:

This card is all about balance. You're taking the middle road, finding what brings you peace, brings you calm. You're adapting and cooperating to make the most of what the world throws your way.

It's possible you died restoring some sort of balance to your life, your friend's lives.

Perhaps there was an aspect of the game that needed balancing, and you lost your life in the process. Your struggle with community and cooperation could have been resolved, at the very end. A final push with fluid, harmonious teamwork could have brought you the peace you've been craving.

Regardless, one thing to me is clear. When you met your end, you did so finding that balance you needed, and resolving the challenges you'd been facing.

Advice

Page of Wands, Upright:

The Page of Wands indicates the start of a new creative vision, a new way of expressing yourself. The spirits of discovery and enthusiasm are strong in them, and they are brimming with ideas.

You've just conquered the main challenge of your timeline, which is no small feat. This closure, this relief of struggle you've been able to achieve, has opened many possibilities to you.

Revel in this newness, rejoice in these possibilities, and above all: allow yourself to get excited. Dig right into it, get lost in it. You've earned it. 💜

The Devil, Upright:

Representative of all the fears, insecurities, and obsessions that hold us back from our true potential, The Devil is hardly ever a welcome sight.

It is easy to slip back into old habits, Nepeta. Old vices can fit you so well, it can feel like they're holding you, supporting you.

In reality, they pull you down. They stunt your growth. Do not forget this dear, you deserve all the good in the universe. 💜

Five of Cups, Upright:

Pain, grief, disappointment. The five of Cups represents the sadness associated with loss. However, this card implies that there is still a chance to salvage some of what's been lost.

It's okay to mourn. It's okay to grieve for friends, relationships, possibilities that you lost in life because of what you were struggling with. Because of your own passing on.

But do not forget you have the ability to make new friends, forge new relationships, seize new possibilities. It does not discredit your past relationships to look for new ones, and you deserve new love.

Thank you for reading, I hope this helped jog a few memories for you. 💜

As always, you would know your timeline better than I. These are your memories, not mine. If something doesn't feel right, it likely isn't.

If any part of this reading doesn't strike a chord with you, I'd heartily recommend looking into the meaning of the card in question yourself. Tarot cards have many meanings, and another interpretation may make more sense to you. 💜

Kind Regards,

🌹Mod Rose🌹

[foxglovesound]

💗Plumstar, Snowstar, Hollycloud and Rosepaw

💗 Ramble a bit about this character!

(keeping it under a cut bc its long. oops!)

Snowstar + Rosepaw 

why am i rambling about snowstar and rosepaw in one??? WELL ITS A FUN LITTLE FACT YOU SEE, since snowstar and rosepaw are major players in this comic, they actually symbolize/represent two of the four seasons (is symbolism the right word? i think more like. they can be ASSOCIATED with these specific seasons but. anyways): 

 Snowstar is the winter; she’s beautiful, elegant, and she’s tranquil, seemingly. she has a desire for peace and is open about this, and her presence can calm others. and when shes far away, others dream of her return and hope for her to get back in charge. they focus on the good things without remember the harsh realities of her personality: the brutality of winter, the way she views life as an “any means necessary”, and if she believes the cause is just, she doesn’t care how she goes about reaching that goal. she can be brutal and cold and calculating, just like how winter can hurt and trap others in place with biting blizzards.

whereas rosepaw is the spring; he’s all about life, vitality, and his arc is all about new beginnings and starting over again. he’s about the hope the beginning of spring brings, hope for a better year or a better life, and obviously he’s got a flower-themed name which is another Fun Leetle Allusion hehe. rosepaw is about change and growth, letting go of what’s haunting you from your past and moving on towards a better life that you can achieve. he’s young, lively, and bright-eyed, despite his former trauma, and growing into himself as the comic progresses

Hollycloud 

(might as well start referring to him as hollycloud more now that he’s about to hit his warrior naming ceremony hehe. anyways) fun fact! in riverclan, it is believed that it’s bad luck to be born during a storm, be it thunderstorm, rainstorm or snow storm. hollykit was born during a snowstorm the winter before this comic takes place.

no one of course calls hollycloud bad luck, but he feels like he is, deep down inside, which isn’t actually something anyone else knows about bc he rarely talks about it. but he does, and he thinks tragedy follows him. a month after he was born his father died (and, coldly enough, the stone pool that riverclan cats visit to sit in and spiritually/emotionally/mentally heal and/or lament to their lost loved ones had frozen over that winter after burnetpelts death. gorsefang shattered through the ice with an outcry). his friends, ember and copper, lost their own father only a month after that, and then his best friend otterpaw ends up being bullied and tormented by his own father. in fact, hollypaw was the one who caught elm holding otters head under water during one of the physical training session -- and although everyone praises holly for being there to defend otter and for bravely taking on elmfoot, a warrior twice his size and experience, holly still feels like maybe otter ended up in that position because he’s holly’s friend. then, only like a week or so before her assessment, emberpaw falls out of a tree and snaps her leg clean while out on a training session with hollypaw and copperpaw. everyone tells emberpaw how lucky she is that hollypaw and copperpaw were there and got her to their mentors and to camp in time but holly still again feels like maybe it was because he was there. in general he thinks death and tragedy follows him and it makes him exceptionally nervous.

Plumstar

poor old plumstar :( originally she was hollyclouds mother, rather than grandmother, and burnetpelt was hollyclouds older brother, but i changed it up a while ago for reasons i Cant really remember but. i still think it fits and makes sense

she was also exceptionally close to minkclaw, and kind of saw her as the daughter she never had. antfoot was minkclaws (second, after the death of her first) mentor, and so plumstar often went on their training missions and even helped train minkclaw. but her closeness to minkclaw was also another reason for why she didnt choose minkclaw as a deputy: not only was minkclaw, in her eyes, reckless and too-easily excitable, but also if she chose minkclaw it would be a sign of others that she was playing favorites for her kin (or, well, those close to her kin) -- which would make her a hypocrite, considering her quarrel with graystar started because she viewed windclan appointing him as next leader just because he was the descendent of aspenstar was playing a bias when graystar (at the time graytuft) was clearly unfit to lead.