#and i could talk about the complete lack of empathy of the people of fine time

[edwardshundredyearoldspunk]

dot and bubble might just be my favorite episode this series. it's safe to say there have been NAUR bad episodes but the futility of dot and bubble, the slow realization that these young adults (who have been chosen as the final vestiges of this civilization) aren't just rich and beautiful, they're also ALL white. the subtle, unexplained hostility lindy pepper-bean has for the doctor. the way she listens to only ruby, addresses only ruby even when it's the doctor who is talking to her. and then. that ending. the doctor's disbelief. he can't believe these people aren't letting him save them just because he's black. and they could have gone the allegorical racism, the whole sci-fi alien bigotry. but I'm glad they didn't. the doctor has never encountered this problem before and what does he do? he screams. he cries. because if there's anything the doctor will always hate, it is the meaningless loss of life. and that's exactly what will happen to lindy and her friends. they will die. and as audience members there is some part of us that enjoys that, because we hate bigots and we love the doctor. but the doctor cares, so part of us cares, even when we don't want to. and that's the beauty of doctor who. I truly don't believe a piece of media has had more of a hand in making me as empathetic as I am and for that I love it. best episode so far this season for me. rtd at his absolute best!

[vanessagillings]

I’m posting the ever-so-rare photo of myself alongside one of my characters based on my childhood because today is World Autism Acceptance Day, and I wanted to show my little corner of the internet who this particular autistic person is:  

I was officially diagnosed in February, at age 38 (I’m now 39). A lot of people thought I couldn’t be autistic.  Some people who know me in real life still don’t.  And until around 10 years ago, I didn’t think I could be either, because I was nothing like the stereotype media portrays. I was told that autistics lacked empathy (untrue), and never played make-believe (also often untrue) and only enjoyed STEM.  I was — and am — an empathetic artist -- and make believe?  I can spend days sketching finely bedecked bears brewing tea or carefully choosing the right words to weave tapestries of fiction — though perhaps my hyper focus was a bit of a red flag.  Even so, how could autism describe me?  I was a good student.  I got straight A's. I didn’t act out in class.  I can make eye contact…if I must.  And lots of girls hate having their hair brushed with an unholy passion, right?  Clearly I swim in sarcasm like a fish, so autism couldn't be why I was so anxious all the time, could it?

If someone had told me when I was younger what autism ACTUALLY is — instead of the nonsense I’d seen on screens — I would have seen myself in it.  I didn’t hear that autistics have sensory issues until I was in my mid-twenties, which is when I first began to really research autism symptoms, and I had almost all of them:  sensitivity to light, smells, fabrics, temperatures, textures, and certain touches, all of which make me feel anxious, I fidget (stim), I never know what the hell to do with my hands or where to look, I talk too little or too much, I have special interests, I have entire animated movies memorized shot-by-shot and can remember the first time and place I saw every movie I've ever seen but I often forget what I'm trying to say mid-sentence, I echo movies and tv shows (my husband and I have a whole repertoire of shared echolalias, making up about 20% of our conversations), I was in speech therapy as a kid, I have issues with dysnomia and verbal fluency, I toe-walk, I can't multitask to save my life, I like things just-so, I’m deeply introverted but not shy, I need to recover from all social interaction — even social interaction I enjoy — and I find stupid, every day things like grocery shopping, driving and making appointments overwhelming and intensely stressful, sometimes to the point where I struggle to speak.  It turns out, I am definitely autistic. My results weren't borderline. Not even close. And while these aren’t all of my challenges, and not everyone with these symptoms is autistic, it’s definitely something to look into if you present with all of these things at once. 

So why did it take me so long to get diagnosed? The same bias that exists in media threads through the medical community as well, and because I'm a woman who can discuss the weather while smiling on cue, few people thought I was worth looking into. Even after I was fairly certain I was autistic, receiving an official diagnosis in the US is unnecessarily difficult and expensive, and in my case, completely uncovered by my insurance.  It cost me over $4000, and I could only afford it because my husband makes more money than I do as a freelance illustrator — a job I fell into largely because it didn’t require in-person work; like many autists, I have been chronically underemployed and underpaid, in part due to physical illness in my twenties, which is a topic for another day.  But it shouldn’t be like this.  It shouldn’t be so hard for adults to receive diagnoses and it shouldn’t be so hard for people to see themselves in this condition to begin with due to misinformation and stereotypes. Like many issues in America, these barriers are even higher for marginalized groups with multiple intersectionalities. 

It’s commonly said that if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.  This is why it’s called a spectrum, not because there’s a linear progression of severity (someone who appears to have low support needs like myself might need more than it seems, and vice versa), but because every autistic person has their own strengths and weaknesses, challenges and experiences, opinions and needs.  No two people on the spectrum present in the same way.  And that’s a good thing!  No way of being autistic is inherently any better than any other, and even if someone on the spectrum struggles with things I don’t — or can do things I can’t — doesn’t make them more or less deserving of respect and human dignity.

But speaking solely for myself, the more I learn about autism, the happier I am to be autistic.  I struggle to find words and exert fine motor control, but my deep passion and fixation has made me good at art and storytelling anyway.  I find more joy watching dogs and studying leaf shapes on my walks than most people do in an entire day.  More often than not, the barriers I’ve faced weren’t due to my autism directly, but due to society being overly rigid about what it considers a valid way of existing.  My hope in writing this today is that maybe one person will realize that autism isn’t what they thought — and that being different is not the same as being less than. My hope with my fiction is to give autistic children mirrors with which to see themselves, and everyone else windows through which to see us as we actually are.

If you’re interested in learning more about autism or think you might be autistic, too, I recommend the Autism Self Advocacy Network  autisticadvocacy.org and the following books:

What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic by Annie Kotowicz

We're Not Broken by Eric Garcia

Knowing Why edited by Elizabeth Bartmess

Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, PhD

Loud Hands edited by Julia Bascom

Neurotribes by Steve Silberman

(trigger warning: the last two contain quite a lot of upsetting material involving institutionalized child abuse, but I think it’s important for people to know how often autistic children were — and are — abused simply for being neurodivergent).

Thanks for reading 💛

[affectionatecorpse]

I'm once again getting overly philosophical over horror movies, so here's a study of the death angels from A Quiet Place as observed by a very enthusiastic animal loving veterinarian.

Every time people talk about death angels, it is, understandably, about how violent they are. These creatures are brutal and merciless, and will tear apart anything that makes too much noise. Hence the title of the movie.

Death angels are frankly terrifying, and show no empathy towards the creatures of the planet they invaded. No living thing is safe from them.

... so here's why they COULD be--

Look. Death angels are simply not suited for our planet. It's a noisy, chaotic place full of noisy, chaotic animals. From humans, to raccoons, to birds, to cats, nearly everything in our world is a potential trigger for a noise sensitive animal such as these.

But that's exactly what they are. Animals. And no one seems to remember that fact. People talk about them as though they themselves are sentient, anthropomorphic monsters, but the way these creatures act mimic many real life animals. Animals that don't belong here, but are trying to survive here. On a noisy planet covered in water, which they despise and cannot swim in.

Death angels are completely blind by nature, as seen in many other creatures such as cavefish, moles, and my personal favourite, the olm. Due to a lack of sight, they very clearly use echolocation in the film, to scan their surroundings and... well, not get dead. But echolocation is far from their only tool, as their ears are the strongest asset they have.

Their ears are INCREDIBLY sensitive. Just the slight ticking of an egg timer when heard from their perspective in the first film, is like a pounding drum in their ear. This is fine in a naturally quiet planet, but if a very subtle tick is that loud, then imagine the rest of the noise. Screaming. Explosions. Crashing. Little toy planes. Holy CRAP, that's gotta hurt.

Sounds that loud would definitely cause extreme hearing problems from pressure over time, and easily result in lifelong illnesses and disabilities such as deafness, infection, and so forth, if not stopped. It's going to be painful. It's literally bursting their ear drums inside their heads, and you can't explain to an animal why it hurts. You cannot rationalise with wildlife about treatment and self care. An injured and scared animal is always going to turn hostile, no matter how docile they may be normally. You can't explain to a lion with a knife in it's belly that you can stop the pain if it just doesn't attack you. You can't explain to a death angel that it needs to go somewhere more isolated instead of just destroying the source of the noise to shut it up.

Going to backtrack here a sec. Remember how I mentioned echolocation being another asset this creature has? Which means the slightest movement, the tiniest breath, can immediately allow you to be seen by it. With ears that good, too? It can see you from ages away. It knows you're there. Which means they DON'T attack for sport.

'Evil' is a concept rarely seen in nature. Yes, a lot of humans can be evil. And yes, many creatures can be too. Animals hunt for sport as well. Cats, for example! Although even then, I wouldn't describe it as evil. Calling the death angels evil implies they're attacking out of malicious intent, which just isn't true. In moments of panic, they'll destroy. But they are fully aware of humans around them.

Humans need to breathe, and can't stay perfectly still very easily. The death angels would be able to see our main cast at several points, even when they're being quiet. They don't attack whenever they locate a sign of life. For example, the scene in the basement. Being that close, whether the water was running or not, that alien absolutely would've heard Evelyn and the baby's sharp breaths. It didn't care. It was clicking at them almost curiously before it heard the bang of the silo, to which it ditched them to stop the sound.

This scene is a great example of why they don't kill for sport. Injured and young animals are especially easy prey for a creature built so strong and nimble. Evelyn is shown to be terrified of the mere presence of this thing, but it never actually does anything in the scene. It moves about. Ignores her movements in the flooding water. Investigates the baby. Clicks curiously at her while she backs away. It moves slowly and on all fours, when we know while aggressive, they will stand up on their hind legs (unless sprinting) and move very fast.

This implies it was in... well, not a submissive position, but a nonthreatening one. It wasn't baring it's teeth (as best it could), it had it's claws tucked up and unused, and was in no way in a primed-to-attack mentality. Until the silo made a loud bang. And even then, it could've quickly sliced up the two in the basement before running off, but it DIDN'T. It just left, without a moment of hesitation.

Let's also acknowledge the anatomy.

This is a carnivore. With sharp teeth for ripping apart prey, sharp claws for defence, and thick armour for protection from it's natural climate, as well as strong, long legs for running, this is absolutely a meat eater. The fact it's so well equipped makes me wonder if their natural prey is just as dangerous as them, which is why they have such tough skin. Or if they themselves have something above them in the food chain.

They seem to be pack animals, as usually others aren't far behind when one is about. Such as the trio by the Abbott house, the few at the docks, the ones by Emet's hideout, and even that group sliding down the building in the Day One clip I keep seeing as a gif. With their knack for running included, I wonder if they function like lions? Blending into their environment back home, clicking to hear prey, then the whole pack going on the chase when their target is vulnerable, in a way.

I got distracted. My point was, in a year, all the bodies from past victims vanished. All those people in the town who were swiped left and right just vanished from the town. They couldn't have decomposed in such short time, which means something moved them when it was safe. Something like a carnivore needing food after it felt comfortable in the silent aftermath. The argument that they do it for sport is one I see all the time, and it's just not true.

Everything needs to eat. Carnivores need to eat. Animals need to protect themselves from suspected danger. They never eat on screen because whenever they're on screen, they're surrounded by noise and are DISTRESSED. Have you ever had a sick pet? Most of the time, it won't eat when it's ill because it's too stressed, uncomfortable or in too much pain. When having their ear drums assaulted, a death angel isn't going to sit down with a cup of tea and a grilled cheese. Also, I won't add it because there's blood, but in the scene with the old man screaming in the woods, after it attacks, you can actually see it go back on all fours and sniff about the aftermath, like a hungry predator catching prey to eat. This was probably the first and currently only on screen proof of my claim.

By all means, not all animals are meant to be tamed. Jordan Peele's Nope said that best. Yet I can't help but wonder about the individual. Every animal is completely unique. Some will tolerate more than others. Due to their realistic nature and the similarities to actual animals, in specific circumstances, could they be befriended?

Anyway keep an eye out for A Quiet Place 4 where someone has a pet one that wears doggy ear protectors and accepts meat in exchange for pets-- /j

[maxdibert]

“Sirius killed people-“ so did Snape, supposedly loved Lily but betrayed her location to Voldemort because he was jealous of James actually winning her heart, not to mention convincing Harry the abuse was his fault, nearly giving Neville PTSD to the point where his boggart was Severus Snape himself, being a racist pos to anyone born of muggle parents, and becoming a high ranking member of the death eaters so what? He could protect Harry?

“It’s easier to cry in a Ferrari-“

it’s easier to defend a terrible character and play the racism and eat the rich card when you can’t understand context and inference clues that JK Rowling laid out.

What’s easy is inventing canon. What a load of made-up nonsense, mate.

1. Learn to read. I didn’t say Sirius killed anyone, but he did attempt murder. And he did it because he thought it was funny to torture Severus.

2. There’s no evidence that Severus killed anyone before Dumbledore asked him for euthanasia. This is made quite clear when Dumbledore talks about his concern for Draco’s soul, and Severus immediately questions him about his own soul. If Severus is so worried about it, it’s implied he hadn’t killed anyone before—or at least not in cold blood.

3. Have you even read the books? The only person who knew the Potters’ location was Peter. He’s the one who betrayed them.

4. There’s no evidence he was a racist. First off, equating racism with the concept of blood purity not only trivializes a serious social issue but also makes it clear that some of you have no idea what racism is or its history. The discriminatory dynamics and their foundations are completely different. But anyway, putting that aside, there’s no evidence whatsoever that Severus discriminated against Muggle-borns. The only time he makes a comment is during the incident with Lily—which, conveniently, happens when James and Sirius are sexually assaulting him, and Lily seems to smile at James. I don’t think you can judge someone’s ideology based on a comment made in an extremely tense moment. Canonically, Severus doesn’t treat Muggle-born students worse in class or make comments about their heritage. Nor does he badmouth Muggles. At most, he makes condescending remarks—which, let’s be real, all the characters do, even the “good ones,” because they’re ridiculously patronizing toward Muggles.

5. Severus was literally a double agent and reached the highest ranks of the Death Eaters to, yes, protect Harry. That’s literally why. He’s following Dumbledore’s orders. Like, have you read the books, or are you just pulling this stuff from fanfics? 99% of what you’ve said so far is pure fantasy, mate.

6. Yes, love, it’s actually pretty easy for me to defend people whose actions are a direct consequence of their life circumstances, and whose poor decisions were directly influenced by a lack of opportunities, security, and the violence of their environment. In fact, that’s literally my job. That’s what I do for a living.

Look, I don’t give a damn if you’re a Sirius fangirl. You can love a character while admitting he was a massive piece of crap. I love The Penguin, and there’s no way to justify him at all. Like, it’s fine, you know? You also have every right to feel sorry for him—I’m not going to judge you for that or anything. I’m not invalidating other people’s feelings if they think Sirius’s life was super tragic and feel a lot of compassion for him. Everyone has their own feelings and points of empathy. But that’s not the case for me. I don’t feel sorry for him. There’s no excuse for being an abusive bully with sociopathic tendencies toward someone who was canonically in a position of social and economic disadvantage. If Severus had come from a good family, with money and power—or if Sirius had been someone without a name, wealth, or status—then I’d view the situation differently because they would have been on equal footing. But just like the Black family chose Muggle-borns to torture because they knew they could, Sirius chose Severus because he knew he could. He’s a hypocrite and a piece of garbage. At least Bellatrix admitted her tendencies.

[mayapapaya33]

Spirit of embracing change part 1

I see a lot of negative nellies about all the talk of changes with the animation and look I get it. I'm not a fan of all the changes made in TLOVM, but overall, it's a rad show and its pretty fucking cool. So I figured in the spirit of embracing change I'd come up with something I genuinely hope they change in The Mighty Nein animated show.

One of the few things that actually really bothered me in C2, as opposed to my many more minor critiques, was the Mighty Nein's treatment of Astrid and Eadwulf. The Volstruckers are just as much victims of Trent as Caleb is, they are child soldiers all grown up. Their distinct lack of recognition of that and lack of compassion through most of the campaign was always very disheartening. In the end battle their moral compass Caduceus was busy dealing with his burning home, I really wish they had stepped up and been kind rather than their usual douchbaggey selves. I think Beau and Fjord talking Astrid down from killing Trent was great and was the energy I was looking for all along, that whole scene was fantastic and I loved it. But I was really hoping for more.

Beau doesn't trust Astrid and Eadwulf, which sure fine, don't trust them, but like, invite them over for dinner lol. They can be your new fucked up friends on the path of rehabilitation, why are you guys just letting this shit hang? Caleb literally loves them/ used to love them what is happening? Yes Astrid took the job in the Cerberus Assembly, she could be trying to change it for the better, and there's a greater chance of that if you all become friends! You've got your war criminal buddy out there gardening as a proof of concept, keep going! Unlike Essek, Astrid and Eadwulf's situation isn't their fault. (Yes, they are now adults and are therefore responsible for their own actions, but also, come on, what choices did they really have, very few if you're being honest about it).

Unlike Caleb, Astrid and Eadwulf weren't able to escape Trent, but they still helped The Mighty Nein several times, and frankly, the M9 were deeply ungrateful and entitled about it. Astrid let them go! She could have completely screwed them with a well-placed counterspell, and she didn't. They warned the M9 about Trent's shenanigans and defenses. Beau saw Astrid crying in an alleyway and did nothing with that information! Have they not earned ANY goodwill from you people?!?! Christ on a crutch, have some empathy! Sure knock them out if they are getting in your way, don't let them hurt you, but when the dust settles, get over yourself and really help them!

(And before anyone makes a somewhat gross argument about the difference between Caleb's worthiness vs Astrid and Eadwulf being that he escaped, leaving his abusive environment by choice, EEEEEH WRONG his escape was literally having a mental breakdown and being put in an insane asylum which was somehow a good thing! Which goes to show the horrific position they were all in. They couldn't leave voluntarily, they were all trapped, Caleb just as much as the rest. Caleb just had the ?Good fortune? of having his brain collapse under the strain. Caleb has been able to have a life free of Trent for a few years to learn and grow, Astrid and Eadwulf haven't had that opportunity yet, it's just starting right at the end of the campaign. The M9 could have been there for them if they really wanted to.

C3 proves that their relationship is still complicated, as Essek attacks (nonlethally) rather than just having a conversation, but they exchange a polite-ish greeting to/from Caleb so it's still muddled, here's hoping that relationship gets better in future campaigns, fingers crossed! (Caleb, is canonically polyamorous, has two hands and can make copies of himself, I'm just putting that out there. Matt and Liam need to stop breaking my heart lmfao).

Anyway, my hope is that they actually thread together all of the moments from the campaign and now, with the benefit of hindsight, have it weave in and out of the story satisfactorily with the M9 being a bit more cognizant and grateful of the risks they took to help the M9 and their terrible situation. About Astrid and Eadwulf being insanely traumatized victims of brainwashing and abuse. Victims who were trapped living with, working with, and interacting with their abuser on a daily basis for like a quarter of a century.

[fl3shm4id3n]

ₐ ᵥₐₘₚᵢᵣₑ'ₛ ₕₑₐᵣₜ

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐧'𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧, 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐨. 𝐈𝐟 𝐡𝐞'𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐞'𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴀꜱᴛᴀʀɪᴏɴ x ꜰᴇᴍ! ᴛᴀᴠ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ꜱᴏɴɢ: ᴘᴇᴛᴇʀ ɢᴜɴᴅʀʏ- ᴀ ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ'ꜱ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ

Tw: Manipulation, a bit of toxicity, love confessions, hugging, fluffy ending.

Masterlist

You knew alright, it was obvious what Astarion was doing with you. This 'relationship' was all ponies and rainbows. It was lust and manipulation, same with some blood drinking here and there. Bad thing was that you had fallen for him, but did he fall for you? Possibly not. You could of ended it, but you didn't. You wanted to at least see any change in him, you knew he could be a better person. You also understood why he was the way that he was. It was all because of his master Cazador. He was the one responsible for making Astarion how he was. So it wasn't all his fault, he too was manipulated and morphed into who he was.

Despite all that, you saw good in him, he only needed a little push and kindness, since you heard that no one has ever been nice to him or showed any kind of sympathy towards him. You could see why he also lacked sympathy, empathy and pity. You knew you couldn't 'fix' him completely, but you at least wanted to help him in a way. He didn't have to change for you, but himself, this was more about him than you.

You were about to go to sleep, but then you were approached by Astarion, who seemed to have a look of worry, that was new. You got up from the floor to face him. "Do you have a moment?.. I-I think we need to talk.." he said, nervously. Making you tilt your head a bit. "Are you all right?" you asked, now a bit worried for him, you've never seen him in this kind of state. "Oh yes, I'm fine. I just... feel awful." He seemed to confess something he had been feeling for a while. "Look, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan. Seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so that you'd never turn on me." He finished with a nervous chuckle. You gave him your full attention, trying to see where this was going. "It was easy! instinctive, Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in. All you had to do was fall for it." He added. And You did, you've fallen for him, hard. "And all I had to do is... not fall for you.." He said a little more calmly. As if he finally had told you something he had been keeping in.

"Which is where my, nice simple plan.. fell apart." He said defeated, this was a new kind of emotion he was feeling, you could tell. He was struggling to understand that new feeling, was it some kind of sympathy? "You're...you're incredible... you deserve something real..." he said, sadly. Was he going to leave you? You thought. "I want us... to be something real." He added to the mix. Your eyes slightly widen, he wanted to remain with you, except, he wants your relationship, to be an actual relationship. "So the night we spent together didn't mean anything?" you asked this time, wanting to know more. "Of course they did! That's the problem.." that sounded wrong, but he continued. "Well part of it." He said while taking a deep breath of air, air he didn't really need.

"Being... close to someone, in any kind of intimacy was something I performed. To lure people back for... him." He said bitterly. Just the thought and mentions of his master had a sour test in his mouth. "Even though things between us are different, being with someone still feels.... tainted. It stills brings up those feelings of disgust and loathing. I don't know how else to be with someone..." He said, still a bit conflicted on how to put his words in. "No matter how much I'd like to." He finished, looking a bit more calm, but nervously. "I care about you, deeply." You confessed to him.

You saw how his eyes widen by your confession. In surprise. "Really?" He asked, still a bit surprised by your words. "Yes, part of your plan did work. I fell for you, those nights we were together, they were something special to me. I've never really been with anyone like I have been with you. Sure, I had my lovers in the past, but... you've meant a lot to me since the first night we did anything together." You explained to him. "That night, I remember your touches as if they were yesterday." You added, making your face heat up by the sudden confession. Astarion was frozen on the spot, by your sudden confession, you fell for him, but not in the way that he'd expect. Your words sounded genuine and true, he could hear it in your voice.

Instead of saying a word, you went up to him, giving him a hug around his waist. He remained frozen, not knowing where to place his arms around at first, but then he wrapped them around your back and placing his chin on your shoulder. It was quiet, except for the sounds of the cackling fire and the crickets. You both remained like that for a couple of minutes, it felt as if it was only you and him in the camp. Your heart beat could also be heard, it was beating fast, but it was also calming. Then you finally pulled away and looked at each other.

"You...you're full of surprises... Aren't you?" He asked with a cheeky smile, "Honestly I have no idea what we're doing." He admitted with a chuckle. "Or what comes next." He said, then he stuck his hand out to you, which you gladly took. He then placed his free hand on top of yours as a way to protect it. You felt his cold hands cupping your own, despite his skin being cold, it felt warm in a strange way. "But I knew that this... this is nice." He said with a small smile to you. A genuine smile, a happy smile. Just by looking at him in the eyes, you saw how happy he was.

[deathnguts]

Spare some rabastan lestrange for the needy pls🤲 (i’m the needy and i’d like to know what you think about his dynamic with his brothers)

Sigh, fine I’ll guess I’ll spare some pennies. Thank you for the ask! This is kinda scatter brained and kinda focused on Rodolphus to like parallel/paint how the brothers are together with they are separate and yeah I dunno I threw up

So usually I internalize whatever @florsial (formal apology to you pookie, Im about to act out of line 🫶) says about Rabastan because we tend to agree on things surrounding him but I think we definitely view Rodolphus differently. Which is fine, he barely exists as a character and I think it’s just representative of how we fundamentally view sibling relationships differently. Like I don’t know what it is with me, but I feel the need ti make every sibling relationship I write for either fanfiction or my own work complicated as hell.

So Rodolphus Lestrange. I think he’s a lot like Orion Black. Like he probably even looked up to him kind of when he grew up, (which is kinda funny because Rodolphus probably isn’t much younger than him if at all considering my headcanon that both walburga and Orion were young when they had both their children to kind of get it out of the way) and you can see that in like a lot of how he just is. Hes ‘stoic’ but actually just doesn’t feel a lot of emotions and doesn’t pretend he does, he’s probably like a hair away from being an alcoholic but he doesn’t drink because he knows that (unlike Orion who is very much an alcoholic), hes antisocial and physically annoyed around people because he doesn’t understand why they are as ‘efficient’ as he is and looks down on all of them.

He’s very work oriented, so much so that he doesn’t really have a life outside of it at all. He’s always been the twin the family knew to count on and he always liked having the title so he never had a rebellious stage or any real anger towards his expectations beyond being tired at the end of a particularly grueling work day. I think the only work hes expected to do that he actively doesn’t work towards doing is producing heirs. He doesn’t like kids, he thinks they’re loud and messy and they get in the way of a schedule. It’s like the only thing him and Bellatrix agree on since she also wants nothing to do with kids. (Also quick note on their marriage, I think they pretty much ignore each other and that’s their idea of what they’ll be like forever. When in public together they put on the ‘better than you’ couple mask but in every other scenario they live completely separate lives and actively avoid each other or they’ll find something to fight about.) like the general vibe I could sum him up with is, yes he’s Rabastan’s twin, but everyone who’s ever talked with him assumes he’s like a decade older and just aged well.

So to contrast that with Rabastan, who was never really expected to be anything and never proved anyone wrong, he’s the sort of kid his mother defends no matter what but he father actively tries to forget about. The exact sort Rodolphus looks down on. He can’t help it’s his brother, he’s still below him. And that would be easier to accept if Rabastan stopped proving it over and over. He had to act out in school, he had to move where mother couldn’t find at seventeen, he had to preach to the family that they were ‘immoral’ or whatever, and then he had to preach it to a child, and then he had to marry the child. Like, Rodolphus isn’t a good man by many means, but his lack of feeling or empathy towards people gives him a more head on view of them. And his head on view of his brother is that he’s useless, dramatic, and so desperate to be anything he’ll lie to a little girl to get her to view him that way. And not to say Rodolphus is any better since he witnessed first hand what his brother was doing, he literally walked in on the two hiding away to make out in a corner when regulus was still fifteen and his brother was the same age as himself and just turned back around and never mentioned it to anyone. A truly good person probably would’ve done something. Good thing that’s not what he’s trying to be.

(Also unrelated but I wanna circle back to a point @florsial has that I love about how Rabastan and Regulus are a couple who tries to nuclear and domestic but fails, I feel like that’s a joke on its own especially in this context. The idea that Rodolphus is the nuclear working man so Rabastan must parallel him by being a family man, he just isn’t. Yes he’s closer with his wife than his brother is, and yes that could be something he has over Rodolphus but pretty much no one in their family is proud of Rabastan for his teenage wife and it’s not like their perfect or anything.)

Rodolphus has probably told Rabastan he thinks this only once since he’s usually content to be quiet about it. He probably broke and yelled about how Rabastan will never be anything ro even get his shit together and it won’t matter because no one has hope he will and it hurts because Rodolphus was never given that leeway and it must be fucking nice to have. Rabastan probably doubles back with how much it must be nice for anyone to give a shit about you, to not only exoect things from you but love you even more when you deliver. They probably kept fighting until Rodolphus, as always, gets tired and shuts it down and goes home.

Because even a man who feels nothing has breaking points, especially when Rabastan keeps fucking pushing for one. And that was their relationship a lot of their life, I think. Rabastan desperately wanting to be seen and Rodolphus who is willingly blind. When they were younger that was ok, little kids before hogwarts just played together until father came to take Rodolphus away, growing boys at hogwarts who slowly drift apart when one doubles down on academics and the other found there’s more to do (and not for lack of desperate trying on the seconds behalf.) and then they’re grown up and neither can place what really happened. They’re sure they used to love each other, at least they think so. And they don’t know what happened, because something must have happened. Right?

Yeah I dunno it’s hard to continuously explain but I think what’s tragic about them is that it’s needless. Rabastan could try ti be better and it would not only help his relationships but himself, Rodolphus could try ti be more and he same would happen to him. If either brother were better at being human then they would be better at loving each other. But they’re not, so they can’t.

[omghallucinations]

idle soyeon and ateez hongjoong--2 idols both alike in indignity (very in the weeds edition: decans, chart patterns, retrogrades, degrees, etc)

(part 1 probably, this kind of very nitpicky sorting shit is addicting to me, let's DO it)

my personal fascination!!! do you not see the twinning?? these two have very "the same/different" charts and present really similarly, with the same MC, first house and ascendant.

same: simultaneously a bad bitch who can kill you and the silliest lil dummy in the world. cult of personality. big idea person. cutey tiny adorable. shapeshifter. bossy as fuck, but also baby?? vegetable anti. kind of a dweeb. otaku bestie energy

i wanna focus on the things that are similar between them to pick out any key differences, so let's get VERY INTO THE WEEDS.

(anyone who reads this is a real one and we are bros for life because this is niche in so many ways)

the same: capricorn neptune at 29° conjunct capricorn ascendant (spiritual workaholic)

neptune is at 29°, the anaretic degree--exam season is on, babes!!

anything at the anaretic degree= talent, tests, urgency, intensity, crisis

like damn can they both Act and Create and Visionary!! but um self-sacrifice is not your profession, babes? with capricorn neptune rising, they compulsively take on responsibilities.

they are both semi-monomaniacal and probably work best alone--or they think they do. if they could get away with it, they would do everything themselves (bc they know how they want it!!!), truly predebut soyeon fine... i'll do it myself.

the mood is...

shapeshifters, can completely inhabit a character

life is about artistic expression and creation, but also authority!

idealism, big issues, humanitarianism but through a practical lens

art, beauty, tapping into Feelings and Experiences of humanity (songwriter shit)

spirituality, religion??? some connection to like... The Universe, a higher being, a Grand Idea, something like that

full of empathy and kindness lowkey

capricorn wants strict boundaries and neptune wants to merge with others, so my guess would be that they often either go too hard with boundaries (into the studio, shut the door, talk to no one, become a ghost) or too light (i will take every meeting for every single thing no it's fine i got it don't worry you can take a nap i don't need sleep yes i will work over the weekend and do the work of 7 people myself)

both capricorn and neptune looooove to deny the self. capricorn ignores the self in favor of The Work (whatever Their Work is); capricorn neptune specifically has a jesus complex and wants to carry the cross for everybody. also there's religion stuff there in general!

damn honestly, talk about overwork issues and inability to delegate, #mood

different: hongjoong's direct neptune, soyeon's retrograde neptune (witch vs. EXTREMELY witch)

faith is going to be more important and more Pressuring for soyeon. both of them have neptune following them around through life like..

capricorn ascendant: gotta Work neptune, whispering in their ear: consider the Beyond 🥺... consider Humanity 🥺 cap ascendant: gotta work neptune: consider a total lack of boundaries.... consider ghosting everyone you know,,, 😶‍🌫️ cap ascendant:gotta make that money🤑 make purse🤑 neptune: Art, Creation... the Aesthetic... cap ascendant: got a fur coat so i make it purr 😎

hongjoong's neptune is like, "perfect script, no notes."

however, soyeon's neptune is coming in with edits.

capricorn ascendant: gotta Work (gotta work) neptune rx: that's me in the corner... capricorn ascendant: gotta make that money? 🤑? neptune rx, screeching: THAT'S ME IN THE SPOT 🗣️ LIGHT 🗣️ LOSING MY RELIGION capricorn ascendant: make... purse? neptune rx, yowling: WHAT IF GOD WAS 🗣️ONE OF US🗣️ capricorn ascendant: got a fur coat??? neptune rx, bellowing: ART AND COMMERCE ARE INTERLOCKED SEMIOTIC PRACTICES A NON-LINGUISTIC SIGN IS BOUND TO THE INTERPRETANT WHO IN TURN IS IMPRISONED WITHIN SOCIETAL CONVENTION,,, WHICH, capricorn ascendant, frantically googling: ..; haha so i don't make it purr, actually i, um, unravel the mythos of the symbol,,, also the coat is vintage?? neptune rx: 😈

basically soyeon is under more pressure to develop her own conception of spirituality and connection to The World Beyond and shit. retrograde planets are usually associated with past life stuff (like some thematic shit went down and was unresolved in a past life which means u have to reckon with the planetary themes now) and a pressure to individuate, aka decide shit yourself.

soyeon is a bit more revolutionary when it comes to her spirituality, and the way she connects to Humanity's Vibes is more... mystical?? idk. i mean it really tracks that she's a practicing buddhist and shares that as a part of her Idol Image.

aquarius uranus in the 1st house: well sinead o'rebellion!!

it's in the 1st house, in its own decan, it's SUPER visible. we've already got our spiritual goats (neptune conjunct capricorn ascendant) and now it's time to make this significantly um.... well a little bit meaner but also cooler and more Revolutionary!

aquarius uranus in the 1st=aquarius rising flavor

a capricorn rising can be very strict and structured and potentially traditional in their worldview (not as much these two, not with neptune conjunct ascendant). uranus in the 1st house says lmao fuck your bourgeois ideas in this very black and white no-excuses kind of way

they could both be excellent revolutionary leaders if they wanted

they truly want to overthrow shit they don't agree with--but at the same time they're both canny, capricorn knows how to play it just within the rules and push boundaries just enough to stay out of real trouble so they can keep their positions of authority (although i bet their personal opinions are pretty radical)

they're comfortable in situations of dramatic change or instability--they do well in chaos or unpredictable situations especially for earth risings

there's an inherent difference in their personalities--they know they're not like other people in many ways and they can't hide that. they feel misunderstood and often are misunderstood, people project stuff onto them (neptune) and misread them as harsher than they are (capricorn, uranus).

neither of them could follow orders for more than like 2-3 hours because the minute they think something is stupid they are rebelling (uranus), losing any respect they still have for the stupid-order-giver (aquarius), completely evading control (neptune) and/or taking control themselves (capricorn). lmao what is hongjoong gonna do in the military, that's gonna suuuuck.

you can tell them to do whatever, sure, but when it comes to The Work they are literally going to do whatever they want, sorry.

just physically they have the skinny compact capricorn rising look with the alien uranus flavor and soulful neptune eyes--plus the neptunian shape-shifting ability. they're two of the best performers in the game.

different: soyeon's retrograde uranus conjunct ascendant, hongjoong uranus direct in the 1st house

soyeon's aquarius uranus is retrograde, and also widely conjunct her ascendant, so it's gonna be more... loud.

capricorn ascendant: Gotta Work (gotta work) neptune rx: that's me in the corner... uranus rx, dead serious: disobedience is man’s original virtue capricorn ascendant: gotta make that money? 🤑? neptune rx: THAT'S ME IN THE SPOT 🗣️ LIGHT 🗣️ LOSING MY RELIGION uranus rx, staring capricorn dead in the eye: the proletariate has nothing to lose but their chains capricorn ascendant: make... purse? neptune rx, yowling: WHAT IF GOD WAS 🗣️ONE OF US🗣️ uranus rx, poorly hiding a guillotine: complacency is complicity...bitch

not saying she is a committed revolutionary in every respect just saying she could if she wanted to despite her compromising 7th house placements and libra moon (all of whom also committed to equality and fairness!)

also just in general, social change is going to be a driving force for soyeon in a different way than hongjoong--he also has a good amount of that but it's maybe less... political? less intense? than it is for soyeon. not surprising, for a female producer in south korea. if i were her i'd be furious 100% of the time.

soyeon also has a lot more creative control of idle's music than hongjoong does of ateez's--idk if that is by design for HJ or not. the urgency of control/individuality/personal expression is stronger astrologically for soyeon with the retrograde planets so it does track?

i think hongjoong is more willing to let things go, in some ways. soyeon is more willing to let things go in other ways, so!

the same: ruled by saturn, saturn acting up at the base of their charts, saturn retrograde

damn i love people who are saturn-ruled. saturn is lowkey my favorite. people who are saturn-ruled or saturn-dominant tend to Go Thru It but in return there is a gift. like damn saturn is a harsh parent but saturn cares soooo much. you will Suffer but it will be the making of you, u know?? also people who cross you will eventually get fucked up by the universe.

both of them have insanely active saturns that anchor their charts. cannot emphasize enough how intense these fuckers are. since they both have a retrograde saturn, they are less attached to the trappings of societal norms than they could be. also they are really gonna have to deal with their issues with authority??

different: saturn at 29° aries v. saturn in taurus

hongjoong: ruled by saturn in aries at 29°

another 29°! neptune isn't hongjoong's only big talent/tester--saturn has joined the chat. first of all aries saturn is already weird and jumpy as fuck. aries is a baby and saturn wants you to grow the hell up. aries loathes a rule, saturn has the rulebook in hand and is annotating as we speak!! there's inherent conflict within the heart of an aries saturn. a real tinderbox tbh--both saturn and aries really think they're right. who will win???

(there are no winners :( they have to learn to live together :()

in aries--leadership, drive, doing it all on your own so pretty clear uhhh workaholic situation

anything at 29° is frantic--it's about to pass to the next sign, so it wants to do everything before it leaves. hongjoong has this almost manic need for control and leadership and creation, action, drive.

3rd house=gemini flavor, cute! i mean, weird for saturn, but fun for me personally. saturn is exerting a lot of force in communication, language, learning. maybe he had a very restrictive childhood education that also made him like way more committed to being in charge himself bc rules are stupid. unless they are his rules, in which case they are perfect, so.

square capricorn neptune (exact) and ascendant-- the aries-capricorn square is the most #leader one u can imagine. take no prisoners, extremely cardinal sign. if there's a crisis or a zombie apocalypse bet on hongjoong--he can really pull together a survival plan in the face of abject horror. snaps for hongjoong!

with neptune here it's softer, more concerned with humanity, less monomaniacal. so we don't have to worry about hongjoong turning his ragged survival group into a fucked up cult or something, he'll make good choices for the collective, more snaps for hongjoongie!

still there's a conflict between his saturn, who is suuuper harsh and out for itself and wants to act without restrictions (aries) and his softer neptune who cares about the greater good or service and wants to be more democratic or measured and mature--so going back to the zombie apocalypse, hongjoong might be prone to taking extreme action and then regretting that shit. deducting a snap for hongjoong. hm maybe he should have a second-in-command 🤔

a very productive square, here! lots of energy and action--lots of creation and follow-through. trust him in a zombie apocalypse but make sure you've got checks and balances in your pseudo-government.

opposite scorpio lilith -- there's an optimism about aries that scorpio does not share. aries is a baby. scorpio is a hardened nordic detective in her forties. she's making cynical asides and aries is toddling off towards a beautiful future

in scorpio opposite 3rd house saturn hongjoong loOOVEs the drama and #secrets and #intrigue but he acts like everyone else is bothering him by bringing their drama to him

the 9th house is more uranus-y stuff--rebel with a cause. god i would pay real cash to see what he was like in school. or would have been like in school if he hadn't been a trainee which probably took up all his energy. he hates rigid societal standards and dumb rules and shit!! hates injustice!!! i feel like we would have been expelled together, it'd be so romantic🥹

saturn wants hongjoong to Take Charge, Take Responsibility, and lilith is like DISAVOW SOCIETY, OVERTHROW THE EARTH. lilith constantly is telling hongjoong how people are CROWDING him he's TRAPPED they're gonna BETRAY HIM SOMEHOW even though saturn wants that responsibility and social interaction. fight!

soyeon: ruled by saturn in taurus

soyeon is practical. she focuses on what can tangibly be done and she works methodically. she doesn't really do "writer's block" bc she's like ah, hating my work is a natural stage of creation, just gotta keep going. she's a lot softer than she appears, but if she wants something her way she will get it that way.

soyeon likes the physical parts of creation. she likes being in the room and she likes her equipment and her stuff. she likes messing with the files, and she has a very physical feeling about it. it makes me think about how she is when producing--how she talks her members through what she wants, it's very focused on the body and the physical way to make the sound.

i imagine hongjoong is more about the ideas when he explains things, or generally more like, let's experiment a lot and then i'll narrow everything down later. soyeon has an initial vision and takes incremental steps to guide people to that vision--and she wants it her way before she edits. she needs the vision to be concrete.

she has less frantic energy here than hongjoong. soyeon is absolutely a workaholic and is gonna have to deal with that, but she's less afraid i guess. hongjoong probably has really dramatic ups and downs with his work, but soyeon is more level-headed. she might decide she hates something later (superlady) and she's never gonna change her mind on that but it's not gonna send her into a tailspin. it's more like she'll want to work her way out of any perceived failure immediately.

super strong square to mars: hello productivity! also very similar to the capricorn-aries square--you can also put soyeon in charge during a zombie apocalypse. she will be very level-headed and practical and will remember to secure a reliable water supply.

taurus square leo: fixed square--stubborn as FUCK. SUPER productive. creative, some ego situation. resting bitch face in a massive way. loves an object. loves a good house. loves a good vibe. loves comfort and pretty things.

quincunx pluto: hm well there's the fear! i retract what i said about the fear. issues with authority, also she probably both desperately wants the approval of authority figures and wants to fully ignore their influence and go her own way. confusing!!

trine the sun (exact): lucky!! damn i wish i had this aspect. as another adhd bitch, consistency is not my bag. it is however, soyeon's bag. it's an earth trine and it's saturn-sun--soyeon is disciplined as fuck and reliable in her work.

she also has the lilith opposition but it's not out-of-sign, so we've got fixed squares and a fixed opposition! attachment, desire, sex, money, power, all that fun stuff. veeeery secretive in some ways.

you can also trust soyeon in a zombie apocalypse. very good head on her shoulders, will be super productive, will think about proper waste disposal. she will not share power though, so that could be a problem. also she probably thinks she does share power and it's like "... girl? what about this is screaming teamwork exactly???"

same: locomotive charts with mars "engines"

in a locomotive chart, planets are all around the chart 3/4ths of the way. the "engine" planet sets the tone for all the other ones. both soyeon and hongjoong are led by mars--action, initiation, survival, drive. any locomotive chart wants to go-go-go, but mars leading it--extra this.

different: everything else!

hongjoong's planets are led by his 8th house virgo mars

8th house is the scorpio house, fixed water, depth, transformation, deals, secrets, darkness

UNNECESSARILY DRAMATIC

may enjoy bdsm or transgressive sexuality in some way? especially with the scorpio of it all. sexual but feels weird about it (virgo)

virgo wants to be of service, wants to pick out what is useful, wants to critique, wants to fiddle with everything, virgo is cautious, virgo is freaking out about something

works to avoid feelings (workaholic +10)

virgo also loves a crisis, and with the 8th house... it's not that deep, hongjoong... it's not that deep....

the 8th is mars and pluto ruled, so hongjoong's mars gets a boost here too, and a scorpio flavor--he lowkey (highkey) can be very very intense

in a fixed house wants to do things its own way, in a mutable sign its willing to adapt however to survive. earth and water and a fire planet. confusing!! very weird mars vibe! lots of conflicting energy!

super wild exact jupiter-mars opposition--bringing the drama yet again, girl. at least he's funny as fuck. also a really good leader! makes people feel good and seen! not afraid of the Darkness (that much!)

however... those hasty decisions... girl be grateful for your capricorn rising bc this could've been a disaster.

also pisces jupiter is really cute and jupiter is hongjoong's final dispositor (rules everything). very important jupiter!! it all comes back to his ideals and philosophies and dreams for the future. he's very future-leaning in general. much more emotional than some of his other placements might lean or try to lean--and jupiter trine sun and venus... ahh my heart. cute placement. more on this another time.

soyeon's planets are led by her 7th house leo mars

7th house is a libra house, venus-ruled, it's cardinal air, it's communication, it's relationships, it's uhhh having to litigate for ur life all the time ha ha ha?

leo mars wants to shine, wants to LIVE FOREVER through creation, creativity, praise, the spotlight

leo and libra, very it's not that deep babes it's just a laugh babes

in the sun decan it's all about personal expression!! it's a little bit tinkerbell I live for the applause applause applause (+5 sharpay from hsm)

in a cardinal and angular house it wants to act first, in a fixed sign it is sure of itself, we've got a real unobstructed leader energy here--the 7th house is a little more hesitant but everything else is propelling mars forward

fire and air are friends and they wanna party. fire sign, air planet, fire planet--the energy is super pure super unified, consistent, complimentary (if hongjoong's locomotive is a lil cautious and intense soyeon's has NO FEAR and it DID come here to make friends)

soyeon's mars is right up against her descendant--it's like a little fuel pot for her but it might uhh give her indigestion? there's this little bubbling anger pit she pretend she do not see a lot of the time. it probably feels deeply unproductive and maybe scary to feel her anger, but if she doesn't face it it's gonna face her, girl!

opposite her ascendant and 1st house neptune--holy avoidance batman, soyeon simply loves to close her eyes and ignore a problem, byyyye

the back n forth between her optimistic puppy leo mars and her sad swan capricorn neptune is very creatively potent tho

lmao fire trine to her her sag pluto, she's genuinely hilarious, versatile creatively, can shake shit off well

soyeon's fear of not proving herself enough or whatever actually propels her to action instead of freaking her out, canNOT relate but good for her

in conclusion this is really fun for me lmao I'm gonna do another edition. stay tuned for the 10th house I guess!!

[nym-wibbly]

Does Dean know Cas loves him?

Oww, that question's hard on the feels! Okay... okay. Yeah, I think so. Dean's not unobservant and he doesn't lack empathy, so he must be aware on some level. I think he's hung up on not knowing what it could possibly mean for either of them - what the devotion of a creature like Cas could even mean in human terms.

It seemed like Dean stuck and held on the whole "angels don't have the equipment to care, and when they try, it breaks them apart" bit. When was that - season 7, while Cas was off in mental honeybee land? Dean couldn't possibly have held onto that once he saw Cas parenting Jack with such unconditional love, years later, but by then there was so much water under the bridge... too much they both should've done, and shouldn't have done, and did do but then never talked about...? I dunno. I think it just became too big to tackle by then. They never had the luxury of enough time without a crisis to even start.

I think Dean believes that Cas shouldn't or mustn't love him, for various reasons, so he avoids consciously dealing with it as far as possible, and mentally frames it as doing them both a huge favour. Dean's aware, but can't bear it and feels completely unworthy of it, is my take. He wants to protect the people he cares about, including - especially - from himself. The more losses they suffer, the more he doubles down on the self-blame.

In reality, even when he's in absolute torment, as he was while fully human, Cas actually does just fine with his developing emotions - he accepts them, for starters - but from where Dean's standing, from the fragmented parts of the story Dean witnesses, it looks like a long-running disaster movie in which Cas gets repeatedly broken down and diminished and punished for choosing the Winchesters.

Even for a man who started out faithless, having an angel willingly fall from grace and choose him over heaven, brethren, and actual god must be... so overwhelming. It must feel wrong to be the focus of something so big and incomprehensible, even if it wasn't his choice or his fault. Dean's not even close to deciding what to do with that big picture by the time Cas flat-out says, "I love you," and makes it so very, very simple and human.

[sagesilentfire]

Autistic Toffee, thoughts?

I mean I did make this image:

But yeah, he's super fucking autistic. Like me. Canonically: (warning: references to self-harm and also oversharing my weird experiences as a chronic autism-haver)

Gets social skills enough to be manipulative about it and understand what people will do, does not get them enough to not creep out people who already are looking for an excuse to dislike him.

Like every behavior the creators gave him to make him creepy and evil just read as autistic person trying to mask to me.

Cold and emotionless? Bro has a flat affect and it just clashes with the overemotional rest of the show.

Low empathy? Autistic, and he does have his own kind of empathy, he just, like a lot of autistic people, expresses it weirdly. And seriously, the idea that a) Normative, neurotypical empathy is the only sign of good moral character and b) that Toffee lacks any version of empathy in general because he doesn't seem to care when unjust rulers or bootlicking toadies get their due, is really ableist and can go die now.

Monotone voice? Flat affect, and probably over-correcting on controlling his tone of voice too. Remember he's in Socialization Mode every time we see him, or Dealing With Mewmans Mode, which is even more tense. I bet he can and will emote via voice when alone or with people he trusts. Heck, he does it in Meteora's Lesson, when he's with the other septarians.

Ulterior motives? When you're autistic, you know that everyone has ulterior motives you can't hope to understand, including other autistic people. It's fine.

I actually headcanon he's repressed a lot of his sensory issues. I have a few that are really annoying, but I don't have another option if I want to appear in polite society and have to force myself to live with them even though they make me want to vomit, so I can see him actively choosing to repress emotional reactions to things. 

He gets overwhelmed more often than you'd expect. People just don't notice, because his reaction is always to freeze up and go silent – a shutdown, the "flight and/or freeze" part of the autistic experience. This is from my own personal experience: when overwhelmed I'm either yelling and angry (around people I know and trust enough to get mad at without them hurting me) or hiding and silently self-harming (around people I don't know or trust). (When I get overwhelmed in a place I feel comfortable but don't know anyone there, I tend to get weird in public looking for someone to feel less bad with. We don't talk about those times.)

I think he was close to a shutdown during Mewnipendence Day when he saw that stupid play Star put on.

Definitely doing a shutdown after he couldn't rescue Star. Probably exiting the scene as fast as possible to go pull out some scales (fun, risk-free self-harm! warning: only septarians can do this. you will bleed if you don't have a healing factor. be safe and maybe don't self--harm it's bad for you), grit his teeth, and go find a way to rescue Star. And also send an army to take over Butterfly Castle while the wand was out. Star would be alive to learn to live with not being a princess. 

Doesn't *always* know what to say. Can convince people to do things easily, but has no idea how to help other people with their emotions. His autistic ass could never be a therapist.

And then there's SAMATFOE Toffee, who has some extra Problems:

Sílthéy and Toffee work together to ensure that Toffee is as immune as possible to emotional leverage. Do anything to them, especially when they're in Business Mode, and Toffee will just sigh, shake their head, and refuse to take the bait. They may have PTSD and Autism, but have you considered: they also have severe emotional repression!

However, when they do crack, it's really bad, and potentially really dangerous. They still freeze and flee, but due to... circumstances, they could be as much of a magical superweapon as the wand, but in a completely uncontrollable way. Unlike the Butterflys, they do not make a habit of flirting with destroying the world, so instead they shove down their feelings and get their ass to therapy. 

And then when their therapist advocates for expressing their emotions healthily, they go get a new therapist, probably a cognitive behavioral therapist or something (I'm JOKING, CBT works for people who are not me! It's a perfectly fine method of brain-helping, it's just my default punching bag. I'm more of an Internal Family Systems guy myself). 

Rasticore is a big help. He helps them express medium amounts of emotion healthily and without having a complete (magi-nuclear) meltdown. They help him with his own meltdowns, because everyone is autistic in my world except for Mina. Rasticore finds their calm grounding. 

[pjohoo-reclists]

Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood Fic Recs

A list of fics starring Percy Jackson and Grover Underwood's platonic friendship. Requested by @evadne01 Enjoy!!

Decided Family by greensgables

G | 600 words | Complete

Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood & Annabeth Chase, Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood

Book 1: The Lightning Thief, Fluff, Friendship

Despite what most people might think, Grover is very aware of the fact that he doesn't have family at Camp Half Blood. Or he didn't, until Percy came around.

The start of a legend by Phantomxlegend

G | 800 words | Complete

Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood

Hurt/Comfort, 12 year old Percy, Percy Angst

When you just find out you’re a demigod and immediately get thrown on a world ending, life or death style quest. It can be a little stressful. Or: Just some small Grover comforting Percy because y’all forgot about Grover.

Words of Affirmation by punkfistfights

G | 900 words | Complete

Percy Jackson & Sally Jackson, Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood, Percy Jackson & Annabeth Chase

Fluff, Past/Implied Child Abuse, mentioned Gabe Ugliano

“Actions don’t always speak louder than words.” How the three people closest to Percy made sure he knew they loved him.

King-Size Candy Bars by liketolaugh

G | 1.0k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood

Abused Percy Jackson, Developing Friendships, Pre-canon

It takes a week or two for Percy and Grover to actually become friends, even after they're roomed together. Because Percy, twelve years old, pragmatic, and hostile, is about as easy to make friends with as Thalia was. Hopefully, Grover will pull it off in the end.

five ___ + one by samosasandlife

Not Rated | 1.6k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood

Fluff, Pre-the Lightning Thief, Monsters

Five times percy nearly got attacked by a monster and grover had to save him without him noticing, and one time he couldn’t.

first flight by wiindblumewisps

T | 1.9k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood

Fluff, Wings, Comfort no Hurt

“I can’t believe I’m helping you with this,” He says. “You didn’t have to.” “I have to.” He waves the hose at him again. A small group of water stays suspended in the air. “I have to be there for when you eat total shit. So I can say I told you so.” Grover attempts to bat away the water when it’s flicked at him. He sticks his tongue out at Percy, who responds in kind. “Your lack of belief wounds me,” Percy laments, holding a hand to his chest, in a tone that suggests he doesn’t mean it. “Really though, I’ve done way more out there things before, and they worked out fine, yeah?” “How could I ever forget your pool noodle fight with a cyclops?” Or: I wanted percy to have water wings so i gave him some.

in dusting cobwebs by GraeWrites

T | 2.6k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase, Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood, Annabeth Chase & Grover Underwood

Grover Underwood is a good friend, Percy and Annabeth are traumatized, Empathy Link

Annabeth shakes her head, adamant. “It was. Arachne’s web got twisted around my ankle and… and it pulled me in, and Percy grabbed me, but—” Tartarus. There’s a sudden sense of vertigo, and he reaches instinctively for Annabeth’s hand. He grips it, and the contact with her is enough to keep him from feeling like he’s falling into Tartarus again. “Annabeth,” Grover is saying, but he sounds far away. “Annabeth, that doesn’t mean it’s your fault. I mean, gods, after what you two went through…” Percy jolts, realization hitting him sharper than Jason’s lightning. His eyes snap to focus on Grover, his stomach twisting with sudden nausea. “The empathy link.” -- Or, Grover reunites with Percy and Annabeth following the battle against Gaia. They talk about some things. They don't talk about others.

blue by carolinaa

T | 3.3k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood, Percy Jackson & Clarisse La Rue

Empathy Link, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues

Left to his own devices, Percy starts to spiral. Someone notices.

an illusion you hide behind by maverickk

T | 4.2k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood

Good friend Grover Underwood, Dark Percy Jackson, Road Trips

Percy and Grover's road trip is going great. They're meeting with nature spirits, working on restoring the Wild, and completely ignoring the emotional tension slowly building between them. Yep. This is definitely a sustainable system.

to preserve the heart by aknosde

T | 13k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood, Annabeth Chase & Grover Underwood, Sally Jackson & Grover Underwood

Grief/Mourning, Emotionally Intelligent Percy Jackson, Healing

Percy's disappearance—his death—is a knife in Grover's gut, radiating pain in a steady, silent flow. He can feel the blood building behind the blade, like a dam ready to burst. This is the problem: Grover can't heal until it's pulled out, and there's nothing he wants to do less. Or: loving your friends, grieving, and what you can and can't move on from in eight months—and the rest of your life.

[fallinfl0wers]

rest

fandom: genshin impact character: xiao reader type: gender neutral summary: to him, hope does not exist, but tonight he does not care. he just wants to rest. warnings: xiao's mental health and bad perception of self. notes: a little something i wrote after the new teaser dropped. a self-indulgent thing edited for the blog <3

His feet drag across the wooden floors of the roadside inn that always receives him with no questions asked, the faint sound of his breathing almost echoing in the emptiness of the last hallway of the highest floor, a small area void of any other resident aside from himself.

That is, until he reaches his door, where he can now feel the presence and hear the breathing of another without having to open it.

And maybe, in any other night, he would've felt himself relaxing and his heart fluttering at the knowledge of who awaited for him behind the sturdy door of sandbearer wood. In any other night, maybe he would be feeling sorry he was intruding in what he considered now as that person's private quarters despite being well aware of the fact that that place was his as much as it was that person's.

But tonight, he just wanted to rest.

Whatever little energy he'd gotten from the rice wine pudding given to him by that little girl's grandfather was already dying down, and he needed nothing more than to fall face-first wherever he could.

His heart breaks a little more upon opening the door and inevitably waking up the other resident of the room, who always had some trouble falling asleep.

You.

It's the way you turn back around on the only bed in the room and blearily blink in direction of the door while still snuggling that blue, hand-made stuffed toy resembling one of Sumeru's forest spirits that has his heart breaking.

There really isn't a single moment in his life where he's not a nuisance to others, is there?

"Huh? Xiao...?" You yawned, sitting up on the bed and looking in his direction with droopy, tired eyes. "You good...?"

Xiao closed the door, and let out a breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding in.

"Forgive me. ... I just want to rest."

Xiao was not completely ignorant when it came to reading other people's feelings. For all the things he lacked, empathy was, by some miracle, not one of them.

Yet, with the way your shoulders dropped and your gaze was clouded with a feeling he was reluctant to name, he couldn't give himself an idea of what you were thinking when you heard his words.

There's another yawn coming from your mouth as you nod, laying back down on the bed, stuffed toy tightly clutched to your chest.

"That's alright..."

You stared at each other like that for a couple of seconds that felt like an eternity to him.

If only you knew what was going on in his head, what would you say? How would you look at him? What would you think of him?

He has no time to ponder it, because after giving him a nod, you shuffle to the left side of the bed and turn to face the wall, understanding that he didn't want to talk about it.

You had always been like this, understanding and patient. Xiao couldn't quite make up his mind on whether or not this was a good thing when directed to him.

Sluggishly peeling off the more restrictive and stuffy parts of his clothing and lazily pushing off his boots, he stared at the empty space intentionally left for him on the bed.

Resting... yes, that really must be it... that must be the only thing he wants...

At least for tonight, resting is fine. Resting is good.

The covers and blankets are soft to the touch of his scarred hands as he gently tugged them just enough to fit himself under their warm comfort, his head gently resting against the plush pillow right beneath. The gentle fabrics that brush against his body to keep him comfortably warm are just heavy enough to be soothing rather than suffocating.

He can accept this much comfort, just for tonight.

You laid right next to him, he could tell by the sound of your breathing that you were not yet asleep as you should've been.

He stared at your backside for a good minute before looking up at the ceiling, with eyes that were already so used to seeing in the dark that he couldn't tell if the prickling feeling and the beginnings of tears in their corners was his distress, fatigue, or just the natural reaction of his strained gaze.

"...Goodnight, Xiao." Your voice whispers to him.

He breaths in, then lets it out. Slowly, shakily, hesitantly.

With a last glance at you, he turns away, his back facing yours as he, too, curls up beneath the blankets.

"...Goodnight..."

The sound of your name falling from his lips gives him a tiny bit of peace.

It is not enough.

Not tonight.

But that is okay.

Just for tonight, he can rest.

You're right next to him.

He can rest.

Xiao's eyes fluttered closed, and together with you, he drifted off to sleep.

Let the Xiao of tomorrow worry about the pain of tomorrow, tonight, Xiao wants to rest.

fallinfl0wers. 2023.

[the-starlight-writer]

Culture in TKoM's Faerie I: General Foundations of the Land

Hello! Welcome again! Today, we're going to be talking culture. "Culture" is a very broad topic so for this post, we're mainly going to be talking about the world itself and how it's set up. These are questions I got asked a long time ago in my discord server so this post is mostly going to be in the form of a Q&A. Most of these questions came from a list collated by @wondrousworldbuilding. The list can be found here.

How content is the average person?

6, 7/10. Life is okay, people are content. Things could definitely be a lot better especially considering the fact that void fae are being actively targeted and persecuted and that there's an unrest among the people since the last royal family was deposed.

How do people make their living and how big a part of their life is their career?

Some fae have arbitrary but fundamental jobs in roles and sectors like agriculture, food production, pharmacy and teaching. Careers on a whole are not required. A large percentage of the population do have jobs as healers, as bakers, artisans etc, but those who don't get by just fine either because they're being supported by relatives or because they're "civil servants", meaning they work for and are subsidised by the government. Civil servitude doesn't necessarily mean that they do clerical work but it does include that. Civil servants can also be commissioned artists, archivists, artisans, tapestry artists, collectors, weavers, elders, skilled magic practitioners, winery owners, authors etc. These positions are considered government jobs because Faerie highly values luxury and a high standard of living.

How do they treat their close friends?

That's more dependent on the fae themselves but earth fae and void fae tend to be very close knit and treat friends like family.

What virtues do they value in individuals? What virtues do they say they value? If those are different, why?

Generally the virtues most valued in individuals are secrecy and loyalty. The traits stated as most highly valued are trust and empathy but really, everyone wants to keep their best interests in mind and secrets protected from prying eyes.

How do they dress? Does it vary greatly by gender, or not? Is their focus on clothing very practical, religious, sentimental, or simply driven by the latest arbitrary fashion? How do the above answers reflect on the culture on a deeper level?

Styles of dress are cultural and are adapted to fae types and their magic. For example, fire fae don't wear lots of excess layers and tend to wear heat-resistant fabrics. Air fae wear a lot light clothes that flutter in the wind. They also wear aerodynamic clothes as well in case they need to fly. The concepts of masculinity and femininity do exist in Faerie but people are liberty to play around with expression as they see fit. The definitions of gendered fashion have changed slightly over time and more traditional fae whose clothing is deeply cultural do prefer to keep the gender divide somewhat prominent. Undoubtedly religious attire exists but seeing regular fae in that kind of garb is highly unlikely on a day-to-day basis.

At what age does a baby become a child, a child a young adult, a young adult an adult, an adult an elder?

Faerie ages are a little odd. Babies become children when they first start demonstrating outward magical proficiency and a way of deft communication. Children become young adults when their markings fully emerge, their magic proficiency (or lack thereof) is evident and they experience biological development. Adulthood is the completion of biological development and magic proficiency is well demonstrated. Being an elder is once you've existed as long as one complete generation, usually around 100, 150 years.

What is Faerie's understanding of and relationship with art?

Faerie started considering art important after a faerie's human companion pointed it out to them. visual art didn't mean much but that didn't mean they didn't have it. Some of the most famous pieces are landscape works because the world was so intricately designed that there's imagery in the hills and in the waters, especially from above. Each fae type has a kind of art that comes naturally to them e.g earth fae tend to lean toward pottery and ceramics while fire fae do a lot of metalwork.

How do the fae think of pronouns and gender?

Most people are willing to go by they/them pronouns because gender doesn't mean a lot to them but there are some people who are close to their AGAB. It's very up in the air how people identify. Some people never attach to their AGAB at all and go exclusively by they/them. Some people feel a connection to their AGAB but are okay with they/them because of the cultural backing. Other people feel very close to their AGAB and reject the idea of being nonbinary entirely but that doesn't change how it works in Faerie. This has no real effect on presentation though

Once again we have come to the end of a worldbuilding post. See you again soon for the next entry in the series!

[mothman-clarice]

Ok so I watched american psycho for the first time last night and I got a great idea for a cool crossover/thought experiment.

What if Patrick Bateman met Hannibal Lecter?

Quick note: I haven't read the book american psycho but I have done a little research about it. Also I'm aware that theres a lot of debate on whether or not patrick actually kills anybody since he is a very unreliable narrator. For the sake of this analysis we will assume all of his murders are real since I dont feel like opening up that complicated can of worms lol.

So first I'd like to do a little character analysis/compare and contrast with both of them cus I think these characters are very interesting to compare.

Let's see what they have in common first. They both are serial killers and cannibals who are lethally efficient and prolific. They are both very successful with Bateman being a millionaire wall street investor and hannibal being Lithuanian royalty and a successful psychiatrist. They are characterized as having some sort of mental illness/disorder, bateman obviously being a stereotypical psychopath plus possibly antisocial personality disorder and hannibal having several which I cant name off the top of my head. They are both known for having "high class" taste and deeply emerse themselves in fine culture.

Now let's talk about their differences...

While yes they both share one key character trait (being murderers) they are still vastly different in terms of personality and behavior. Let's start with their attitude/tendencies towards murder.

Hannibal may be a prolific vicious murderer but if you look closely enough you will see he actually has some form of moral compass. He never hurts children, only adults over the age of 20. He rarely if ever kills women (at least to my knowledge, I haven't read all the books or seen all the movies) which is very likely rooted in his chivalrous nature. He never kills out of the blue, he always has some reason for it, be it his victim making a rude remark or doing something hannibal finds reprehensible. No matter what, he always has some reasoning behind his killings. So while yes he is a vicious murderer, he does actually have a moral compass if you look hard enough.

And then there's Patrick Bateman.

Patrick's murderous behavior is completely different from hannibal. He is erratic and random, killing whoever just so happens to be closest whenever he gets the urge. He has compulsions to kill whereas hannibal pretty much has full self control and only kills of his own free will. Patrick never has any clear reasoning for his murders beyond very vague rationalizations which mostly boil down to "they are different from me" or they said something he perceived as a personal insult. Unlike hannibal, bateman has absolutely no moral compass since he completely lacks empathy. He despises anyone who is higher or lower class than him (especially the lower class), he despises women and views them as objects made for his sexual pleasure and nothing else. Women, especially sex workers, are actually his primary targets since he already views them as subhuman and knows he has great power over them physically and often financially. To him humans are tools he uses to achieve his desires. He completely lacks any emotion, even saying his only emotions are greed and disgust.

He is the purest example of the Id you could possibly think of. His brain is controlled by the most base primal instincts: hoard resources to preserve your own survival, fight and kill anyone you see as a threat or as different from you, and have sex as much as possible. His ultimate goal in life is to fit in with the rest of the white cishet male wall street yuppies, his "tribe" if you want to continue with the primitive themes.

In regards to emotion hannibal does very much feel. Yes his perception of emotion may be different from most people but he still absolutely has the capacity to feel sadness, love, joy, and more alongside anger and disgust. He may be violent but he is not devoid of empathy. We all know he falls deeply in love with clarice because he empathizes with her trauma and struggle. He recognizes her frustration with trying to get the male dominated world to notice her capability and strength. He marvels at her brilliance and adores her independence, he loves her, so so much.

What does bateman love? Well he certainly loves money and power. But does he feel that way about anything else? No. The closest thing he feels to love is lust, primal carnal desire. He hates women, he only values them for sex and nothing else. (Sorry to break the essay emerson but I just need to say this. Why didnt this guy just get a fleshlight? A sex doll? Like if you hate women so much but wanna fuck just get a fuckin toy dude, I'm sure they existed in the 1980s 🙄)

Another thing I noticed they differed with is their attitude towards wealth and media. Patrick is obviously obsessed with both. Media permeates every moment of his existence, constantly listening to music every chance he gets, "watching" movies (mostly just playing them as background noise), obsessing over p0rnography, and so much more. His attitude towards porn is especially interesting to me as he doesnt seem to consume it in the way people normally do. The first scene that comes to mind is the one where hes on a phone call with Evelyn while a porn video plays on his tv. He doesnt even look at the screen, he seemingly shows zero interest. Theres nothing near him in the scene that would suggest he was "enjoying" it (tissues, lotion, y'know..). Its like he just put it on as background noise just like he does with movies. He has similar behavior when he brings in the escorts and rambles about music while instructing them to perform for him, despite the fact he spends most of the beginning walking around his apartment not even looking at the women. It's like he has no idea how human sexuality works, he obviously doesnt feel horny given those two examples, it's like he just has sex and looks at porn because it gives him some kind of status or maybe it just gives him something to do. Maybe he does it purely because it seems like something a "normal human" would do.

As for his obsession with wealth, bateman seems to have a similar attitude. He hates going out with people to diners since we know he hates people in general. He seems to only go out with his fellow yuppies to feel like hes part of something. He pretends to get along with them and says anything they like to hear, putting on a character as if he was playing out a fantasy in his head. He expects people to be impressed with his wealth and feels deeply insulted when they're not. He sees wealth as a necessity, he constantly needs to be richer and more extravagant than everyone else. He is the ultimate personification of greed, a gluttonous, jealous dragon whose hoard is never big enough.

As for hannibal? Having been raised in royalty he naturally grew accustomed to lavish living and views it as his normal. He feels most comfortable having gourmet meals regularly, his day clearly planned out with plenty of activities to do, and generally a life full of savoring the finer things and enjoying many of the pleasures of noble life. Unlike patrick who's idea of lavish is hoarding expensive things he doesn't need and parading them around to inflate his ego, hannibal's idea of lavish living is playing piano, watching Shakespeare plays, reading classical literature, admiring fine art both old and new. He has no need for parading around his wealth because it doesnt matter to him.

You see what I mean? Bateman views wealth as a tool to gain status and be part of a community. Hannibal does not really perceive wealth since it has always been a part of his life, he doesnt want more wealth since riches alone dont give him pleasure. To hannibal wealth is simply the norm and something he pays no mind to, whereas patrick is utterly and completely addicted to it.

I feel like I've rambled long enough and pinned down their primary differences. I honestly had a lot of fun writing this! I find both characters incredibly fascinating and I thoroughly enjoyed dissecting them both side by side. I hope you all liked it too of course.

Also, good news! I'm finally starting my week long vacation from work so I'll have a lot more free time to post. So look forward to more activity from me in the future :)

[bookishfeylin]

Absolutely love your critiques about the ACOTAR series! When I found your work I was vindicated because while I find ACOTAR entertaining I was poking holes left and right and asking (too many) questions and the other side of the fandom is...zealous...

Anyways, I was wondering how you felt about Nesta's apparent alcoholism being COMPLETELY ignored? I thought it was wild that they start off ACOSF talking about how Nesta is allllllwaaaays drinking and then she goes to the HOW, asks for wine ONCE doesn't get it and then is totally fine and never wants a drink for the rest of the book?

As someone who has had and lost family members to alcoholism that shit is so ridiculous like??? And I'm sure anyone could make the case that because Nesta is a 'fae' she can't actually be alcoholic but??? SJM loves bringing real life themes into her stuff that I find it hard to believe she wouldn't be putting that in a 'real-life light' because the whole IC uses that (and many other things) to shame Nesta.

Idk I just think it's crazy that she didn't put any sort of experience with withdrawal into ACOSF for Nesta? Like ole girl was in a bad way anyways, it would've made sense. And the way they treat her and alcohol even after she starts training points to a "family" that is afraid of her abusing alcohol around them and yet...crickets. No cravings, no withdrawal, no healers to help her through...anything? Wild.

I just reread ACOSF and the lack of empathy/compassion that they have for Nesta blows my mind. I missed a lot of it on the first read through cause I wanted to know the "plot" but phewwwww. It's not looking GOOD luv. 🥴

Also I realize that this is very Serious™️ but I did cackle when I found out that Nesta ran up a crazy ass tab and charged it to Feysand. I'm sorry but that shit is funny and I support women's wrongs.

Anywho, thanks so much for sharing your analyses and I hope you're having a wonderful day!

-S

HI! Welcome!

Oh, I have A LOT of thoughts about how Nesta's "alcoholism" was handled, and I intend on going on a very long discussion of it in my Nesta post, but for now I'll simply say that it doesn't seem like she's actually an alcoholic? The big deal they make of alcoholism leads me to believe fae suffer the same effects of alcohol abuse that we do, but we never see any of that happening to Nesta in canon. This combined with a few other things I'll discuss in that post make it seem like an excuse by Feysand to be controlling rather than a genuine concern for Nesta's wellbeing.

At any rate, thank you so much for your compliments! Posting on this blog has been incredibly cathartic, and I've been really glad to connect with people who feel the same way I do about this series. For how it's toted as a paragon of feminism and empowerment, this series has many wayyy too problems, and they all need to be discussed in any honest review and analysis of how this series fails to live up to its ideals.

[memento-morri-writes]

Something I (an autistic person) would love to see in autistic characters: Low empathy, and the characters not being demonized for it.

I have essentially non-existent empathy when it comes to other people (but actually a much higher level when it comes to animals), and I'm tired of lack of empathy being shown in fiction as only a villainous trait, or something displayed by robots or AI.

I can't find the post at the moment, but I remember seeing one about how the OP's low empathy actually benefited them in their career. (Which iirc involved dealing with organ donations.)

But that shouldn't be the only case in which your autistic character has low empathy. Also, note that low empathy does not mean you cannot be kind. That's complete and utter bullshit, which is fed by the "only villains have no empathy" thing that's super common in media.

(We could talk a lot about how traits of mental illnesses and mental disorders are routinely demonized and found exclusively in "evil" characters, but we're not going to do that here.)

Another autistic trait I'd like to see more of: Having a hard time processing emotions.

I straight up don't process things. I've had sad or upsetting things happen to me (including potentially traumatic things), but they straight up just don't feel real??? And it's not a short-term shock thing. Months or years after the event, I still have never been hit with the reality of situations.

And it's not just bad things. I'm a couple of years out of high school, but I still feel like I could walk back into my high school tomorrow and it wouldn't feel weird.

So I can totally see an autistic character going through something traumatic, and not ever having a large reaction to it? At least not in the way their loved ones expect them to. Of course they're still impacted, but maybe everyone around them assumes they're fine because they didn't react in a "normal" way, or maybe they're worried that the character is hiding their true feelings from them.

Alternatively, if you want to create some angst, you can have another character lash out while hurting, saying that the autistic character "must not have cared about X" because the event didn't effect them. (Be careful with this though. It can be easy to fall into the trap of "no reaction = no empathy = bad.)

Combining both the traits I've mentioned above might give you a character who goes through something traumatic, or loses a loved one, and instead of grieving like "normal", throws themself into working on a project, or takes charge of the group while others are grieving. (A lot of autistic people's special interests are comforting to them, so maybe they throw themself headlong into hyperfixating on their special interest as a coping mechanism.)

Some additions from an autistic person:

Note: I'm willing to answer questions about being autistic / writing autistic characters, so please feel free to send me an ask if you have a question!

I'd like to second the sensory issues part above, but I realized that "sensory issues" is kind of vague, so here's a list of potential sensory issues/preferences for your autistic characters:

A very loud noise or environment is very overwhelming (think a concert, or a siren or alarm)

Feeling overwhelmed by a lot of overlapping smaller noises (a busy street, restaurant, or office.)

A certain kind of noise can cause sensory overload (high pitches, repeated beeping, etc.)

Finding certain kinds of noises comforting (repeated rhythms, a familiar song.)

Always has headphones/earplugs with them to block out noises.

Disliking a certain food due to the texture (too soft not all one texture (ex: frosting with sprinkles or yogurt with cereal), for example)

Refusing to wear certain kinds of clothes (ex: no jeans, no faux fur, no corduroy, no sandals that separate the toes, no bare feet) because of texture reasons (Too rough, too tight, too soft, too stiff) / only wearing certain clothes (only wears sweatpants + hoodies, only wears skirts, always wears socks)

Not wanting to touch certain textures with their bare hands (mushy things, gritty things)

Certain smells or too many smells giving a headache. (Candle stores are sensory hell.)

A couple of other traits I'd like to see more of:

Low empathy, specifically not being demonized or seen as a bad thing.

Delayed processing of things, or not processing them at all.

(If you want more details on both of those things, including some examples of how to write them, plus a bit of my own experience, look under the cut!)

Something I (an autistic person) would love to see in autistic characters: Low empathy, and the characters not being demonized for it.

I have essentially non-existent empathy when it comes to other people (but actually a much higher level when it comes to animals), and I'm tired of lack of empathy being shown in fiction as only a villainous trait, or something displayed by robots or AI.

I can't find the post at the moment, but I remember seeing one about how the OP's low empathy actually benefited them in their career. (Which iirc involved dealing with organ donations.)

But that shouldn't be the only case in which your autistic character has low empathy. Also, note that low empathy does not mean you cannot be kind. That's complete and utter bullshit, which is fed by the "only villains have no empathy" thing that's super common in media.

(We could talk a lot about how traits of mental illnesses and mental disorders are routinely demonized and found exclusively in "evil" characters, but we're not going to do that here.)

Another autistic trait I'd like to see more of: Having a hard time processing emotions.

I straight up don't process things. I've had sad or upsetting things happen to me (including potentially traumatic things), but they straight up just don't feel real??? And it's not a short-term shock thing. Months or years after the event, I still have never been hit with the reality of situations.

And it's not just bad things. I'm a couple of years out of high school, but I still feel like I could walk back into my high school tomorrow and it wouldn't feel weird.

So I can totally see an autistic character going through something traumatic, and not ever having a large reaction to it? At least not in the way their loved ones expect them to. Of course they're still impacted, but maybe everyone around them assumes they're fine because they didn't react in a "normal" way, or maybe they're worried that the character is hiding their true feelings from them.

Alternatively, if you want to create some angst, you can have another character lash out while hurting, saying that the autistic character "must not have cared about X" because the event didn't effect them. (Be careful with this though. It can be easy to fall into the trap of "no reaction = no empathy = bad".)

Combining both the traits I've mentioned above might give you a character who goes through something traumatic, or loses a loved one, and instead of grieving like "normal", throws themself into working on a project, or takes charge of the group while others are grieving. (A lot of autistic people's special interests are comforting to them, so maybe they throw themself headlong into hyperfixating on their special interest as a coping mechanism.)

writing an autistic character when you are not autistic - a masterpost

completely double spaced version on google docs here – this post is more blocky for the sake of people’s dashboards, but still long so people will be less likely to glaze over it. my apologies if that makes it hard to read

things to look for and avoid in an autistic character

• symptoms only manifesting as “nonverbal and rocking” • super smart / living calculator • super dumb / doesn’t understand anything • all the symptoms you can come up with for them are “awkward” and “has special interest(s)” (please do more research) • trains, technology, and/or math as special interests • acting like a child • getting treated like a baby • unreasonably cruel and uncaring about others’ reactions to them being cruel • if they’re comparable to sheldon from the big bang theory, start over • animal comparisons • a lack of feelings • please no stories about what it’s like to be autistic told by allistics

the right way to write an autistic person

• lots of symptoms, including secondary ones not included on a general diagnosis requirement list (here’s a list i rather like that was made by an autistic person – their blog is also a good resource) • having a good amount of general knowledge and actually talking about it (i cannot believe that i have to say this) • talking about things outside of special interests (again…. come on……….) (special interests are usually the default things our brains go to when theres no stimulation or we want to entertain ourselves – it isn’t literally all we think or talk about ever. if a conversation has no connections to a special interest, reconsider having your autistic character bring it up in a context that is not an introduction.) • explicitly expressed to be capable of attraction and romantic feelings – if your character is an adult, add sexual feelings to this point • capable of general functioning, just with a disability that makes it more difficult – not a walking disability (….sigh) • a wide amount of feelings and emotional turmoil (but perhaps only being able to express it in limited ways) • we’re people • just people whose brains are wired differently

things to avoid in research for an autistic character

• autism moms / autism blogs and websites not run by autistic people • any affiliation with autism $peaks means you should walk away and never look back • a scientist trying to create explanations for what autistic people do without actually asking / not mentioning asking autistic people • anything about a cure for autism • a person that “worked with autistic kids” phrased in the same way as “worked with animals” • talking about autistic people as if they are mysteries, are like animals, or are otherwise othered weirdos instead of people

things to look for in research for an autistic character

• actual autistic people talking about their experiences and symptoms • just stick to that and you’re good but it’s hard to find sometimes ngl. just look for the above red flags

things i would personally like to see in an autistic character

• less easy to swallow sadness and more destructive anger. i would love to see a canonically autistic character who was frustrated easily by small things and had trouble communicating why • not a story about being autistic, a story that happens to have a character or characters who are autistic – it isn’t pointed out or questioned, they’re right at home with the rest of the cast and not othered (a la symmetra from overwatch) • intensive sensory issues / small sounds making large reactions • clear communications about not liking x sensory thing (for example being touched) • poor motor skills / clumsiness and not being laughed at for it • walking funny (body bent downwards, walking very fast, walking slowly, big strides, shuffling, stiffness, etc)  – no one treats it as if it’s funny or something totally strange • a big personality that has a presence so they can’t be cast aside (but feel free to have quiet characters too) – if this was along with being nonverbal they would probably leap to being one of my favorite characters ever • a fear of asking for clarification on sarcasm or jokes because of past experiences and an arc about the character becoming more comfortable asking questions

>> if any fellow autistic people want to add something, feel free <<

allistics are encouraged to rb this