#and i cant stop crying because my life doesn’t improve even when i try to improve it. i cleaned my bathroom and room and the kitchen and

[bitchcake]

cry at work cry at home cry in the shower cry in the kitchen cry outside cry in my bed cry in my sleep cry on the toilet cry doing my makeup cry cry cry cry cry

[ballorawan740]

SCP Scenarios: SCP 173 (The Sculpture) x Reader | NEW CHARACTER

SCP Scenarios Masterlist | My Works Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Rules | My Original Post | Request | Socials

(Don't ask about that GIF)

I did change 173 slightly in a way that he can move his limbs and communicate verbally, so Peanut here would be a tiny bit OC

First Encounter

You both met in 173's cell

For some reason, when you blinked, 173 just stood in front of you

Like, this peanut didn't kill you or anything

It was more as if he was interested in you

He somehow found the ability to talk

Even patted your head to your surprise

This also supposed the whole of the facility since they've only observed 173 spanning everyone's neck and teleporting

And they've never seen him move his arms since he's a literal peanut statue that secretes poop (and blood I guess)

Your feelings for him

You began to realise you fell for him after someone had mentioned how often you visited the statue

Definitely would try to hide it, to begin with (Cuz it's odd that y'all be falling for a peanut statue)

But later on, you decide to drop hints about it to your crush, Peanut

He looked as if he was clueless

But he definitely has gotten the hint way before you even realised your feelings for him

Because you make him feel butterflies

If anyone tries to flirt with the statue, you would become furious (Cuz you paid for this statue)

Most likely would tease you at times

His Confession

Probably would plan it out

Which didn't work at all

So 173 would just do it out of the blue

To which you agreed of course (Cuz y'all need some Jesus! At least you weren't like Clef when he- nvm)

Definitely surprised the foundation as well since nobody has ever fallen for this statue before (Aside from Clef)

Some would give you both odd looks while others were more curious about your relationship

Probably would conduct tests between the both of you

Only because they want to see if 173's behaviour would change

Like if someone blinked while standing behind you

Date

Since the foundation doesn't let 173 out of his cell, most of your dates would be in there

173 would be similar to 035 since he's pretty chill and laidback

You both would be laying on the floor and looking up at the ceiling

Probably talking about a lot of BS

Probably would tell you his favourite method of killing (which totally isn't snapping necks)

You both would tell each other about your day and peanut would joke around a lot

Is rather sassy as well so if anyone judges, you can always count on 173 to save you

Most likely by snapping their necks

Or sassing them out to the point of no return

When he gets jealous

It's rare to see 173 jealous since he's quite laid back and doesn't really mind who you're with

If 173 does get jealous he would most likely snap their neck

Or just teleport behind you and just stare at whoever is hitting on you

Or he would bend down to their height (if they're short ofc) which does are them off quite a bit

Would definitely drag you back into his cell to which surprised the researchers

Because they found out that the cameras were working and they heard screaming coming near/from his cell

Peanut can be slightly possessive of you

Especially when he knows somebody is hitting on you on purpose regardless of whether they knew you were taken or not

Most likely would ask you who you are hanging out with and for how long

When there's a containment breach

There's a 50% chance that he caused the breach

Whether he did it or not he would look for you

As he's looking for you he would snap some necks

Even gave 682 a heart attack

More than once actually but we don't talk about that here (cuz that hurts 682's heart)

Could care less about every other SCPs/workers

If you were hurt peanut would hunt down whoever did it to you

Probably would stroll down the facility instead of teleporting

To which you giggled

The look on the researchers' faces when they saw 173 frolic across the hallway and back into his cell was priceless

You were even there to witness it and everyone looked at you like they've just seen a ghost

Yandere!173

Would lock you up in his cell

Probably would tie you up as well

Definitely would torment you by teleporting in front and away from you

Sometimes would blindfold you

Not even the researchers could get you out

They've even asked 131 for some help and it didn't work as effectively as they thought for whatever reason

If you somehow managed to escape your freedom wouldn't last long

173 would manipulate you to the point that you felt that there weren't any way out for you

So in the end, you just stayed in his cell (probably regretting life choices while you're at it)

At least he's nice enough to let you eat proper food served in the foundation (had to make that clear in case y'all didn't get the hint and thought he gave you smth else to eat)

His younger sister

You're both alike and very close indeed

The foundation was shocked at how alike you both were

And you both were inseparable

So every time there's a breach and they see either of you, they know the other is just around the corner

You both would be sassy, sarcastic and funny

The foundation would be entertained by your remarks

Although you may or may not snap necks like peanut, you do display some form of curiosity towards the foundation staff and the SCPs

Like that one time when there was a containment breach and you leaned in rather close to this rookie and he just screamed as he laid on the floor

He did get quite a lecture afterwards but you decided to just tease him whenever you both meet

When his kid says their name for the first time

Would be joyful af

Nobody would hear the end of it

Like imagine the last words you hear is 173 telling you how his kid spoke their name

Like it took them so long to just get the pronunciation right

Tries to get them to swear late on though

Much to your dismay

173 is a cool and laid back type of dad so you wouldn't have to worry too much when you're away

Unless it's about being a good influence then you should (Not that it matters anyway...)

Probably would teleport to whoever/whatever just tp tell them about it

Even bothered 682 to the point that the lizard begged the foundation researchers to remove either of them

When his S/O is angry

Would run/teleport 10000000000000000000 miles away

Especially if you're mad at him

Probably because he broke your favourite cup and didn't tell you about it because he know that your best friend gave it to you as a gift (Don't say y'all don't have friends)

Would try to calm you down after a while though

Which didn't work too well because you still wanted to rip his head off

If it was somebody else who made you mad he would probably be entertained

Unless it affects himself of course

Probably would try to hold you back and get you to calm down

In which you wanted to rip off his head as well which ended so well for peanut

If 173 cant run anywhere he would just hide in the corner and cry

Probably would as the researchers for some help as well

They don't because they don't want to die either

When someone tries to steal you away

When peanut finds out he would hunt down whoever tried to steal you without hesitation

Would snap his neck and everyone else who were involved or knows about it

Takes you back to his cell

Checks if you were hurt even though you were looking at the kidnapper's @ss

Would try to stay by your side at all times even though he knows he can't

Stares at the researchers every time they talk to you

If it was a D-class they would die in an instant

Has a burning hatred for certain kinds of people

When his Pregnant!S/O gets hurt by accident

Cries without a doubt

Would bandage you up without a doubt

Would cheer you up by doing weird dances and impressions

Most likely would tell you off as well but your puppy eyes get to him

So he would just take that back and just baby you

Would kneel down to talk to the unborn child about your bad behaviour

You swore you felt it kick

173 would get all excited and more protective than usual

Wouldn't let anyone near you unless you were going into labourr

Meeting a Fem!Dragon!Hybrid!Reader

Would be quite curious about you

Finds you rather cute because you're so pure, kind and small

Wants to adopt you without a doubt

The researchers would have mixed feelings about you being in the same cell as 173

Peanut was lowkey terrified when you breathed fire

Was somewhat ok with you crying lava and levitating objects for a bit

Somehow managed to get 343 and/or Scarlet King to help you improve your telekinesis

Definitely would play hide and seek with you and some others

They don't get a say otherwise peanut would snap their necks

When he accidentally kills you

It was when some guy unintentionally pushed you which angered 173

Like he teleported to him and his friends

You tried to explain but 173 didn't listen so he proceeds to snap everyone's necks

Trying your best to defend the poor guy, you stepped in front of them which lead to 173 snapping your neck as well

The guy was shocked but managed to run before anything happened

Word got around that 173 had snapped your neck and was now permanently depressed

Like, he stopped snapping everyone's neck for quite sometime

Felt so guilty that he went to 049 to see if he can fix you

But he wasn't able to so he went to SK and God

They were transported to another facility so they weren't able to do much for this statue

Yandere!173 x Evil!Reader

Not as dense as some of the other SCPs but 173 wouldn't have guessed that you worked for another GOI other than the foundation

Since you used your knowledge of 173 to your advantage, 173 would find out rather late

173 found out who you were working with since the late arrival of the Black Queen came by to collect you

173 would try and kidnap you back into his cell at the Foundation but failed miserably

Would try and warn the foundation but they couldn't get you back either

Since you were with the Black Queen, 173 was plotting to get you back without any distraction

The foundation realised how dangerous 173 has become and isolated him far from the other SCPs

At times, the foundation would use your name in order to get 173 to work with them which worked 50% of the times

Trying McDonald's Sprite

Would be confused about this 'Sprite' from McDonald's since he doesn't eat or drink anyways

173 would be rather curious about this beverage and does give it a try

Finds it tasty and you soon realise he has officially become a sweet tooth

Was probably a mistake but if you ever needed to bribe 173, get him some Sprite that's specifically from McDonald's

Like that one time you bought him Sprite from Tesco's, he said it tasted more disgusting and refused to finish the drink

You should probably give him some apple pies, pancakes and some other sweet stuff from McDonald's

Sometimes the foundation would even give him some Sprite whenever the cleaners are cleaning his cell

Would find it amusing that the only way to get him to stop snapping necks are Sprite

When his kids swear

Would 100% be ok with it

173 probably is the one who taught his child to swear

Probably would let them drink alcohol at a young age as well

Maybe around their teenage years, but would let them try a sip if they're under 10

Wouldn't even be mad if his kid swears accidentally

Peanut would most likely encourage it

Doesn't mind if his kid swears at others, but the others would probably complain

When Child!Reader scares him

Wouldn't be hard to scare 173 tbh because you're so small

You'd be running around and giggling while doing whatever

Until there's some silence

173 would probably brush it off at first until he didn't hear a sound for 20 minutes

Does check around his cell to make sure you're still there

Panics because he can't see you

Until he turns around and had a full-on heart attack because you jumped on him

The researchers definitely hear a screech coming from his cell

They all started laughing once they found out

When the reader pole dances/aerial silk dances

Very similar to 035

Would be in awe of you dancing for him

If you were pole dancing he would probably watch you with those eyes~

Most likely end up in you both performing in another activity

If you were aerial silk dancing, 173 would probably be amazed

Would try and dance with you but fails terribly

Because he keeps dropping like dead flies

Most likely broke his back

Sometimes the researchers wonder how it's even possible for 173 to break his "bones"

Having a Pregnant!S/O

Would crack a lot of dad jokes here and there

Follows wherever you go

Rubs your belly whenever he can

Definitely would make a full conversation with the unborn child

Sometimes would read stories that do make you feel sleepy

Does whatever you tell him to do

Cracks some necks if he can't give you what you need

Would cry whenever you have your mood swings

During labour, you grabbed his arm so hard that it almost broke him

When you try to commit suicide

Would teleport to your side at an instant

Wouldn't let you out of his sight ever again

173 would try to cheer you up which may or may not work

Definitely would kill whoever made you feel this way if any

Make you stay in his cell for a while

Maybe even permanently

Wouldnt let anyone touch you

If you had any scars 173 would cry

Peanut would try his best to stop you from feeling that way

Having a Hopelessly Romantic/Easily flustered GN!Reader

Would definitely tease you

173 would find it adorable that you fluster easily and is hopelessly romantic

I'd say he's pretty hopelessly romantic to a certain degree

Will kill if anyone teases you

Because your adorable flushed look is only reserved for him

Although he would tell all the other SCPs about you

049 and 035 get it the hardest but 035 is completely fine with it

049 would rather just stay in his cell than to hear 173 talk about you for 200 hours

Probably knows more about you than peanut himself

173 would boop your snoot whenever you have that cute look

When you're about to be executed - Yandere!173 x D-Class!Reader

173 would snap everyone's neck and kidnap you back to his cell

If anyone ever mentions your name, 173 would instantly snap their necks

And if they ever tried to find you, he would know and would hide you somewhere else

If you ever tried to flee, 173 would teleport to your side and bribe you to stay 'home'

By bribe, I mean he would force you to return by teleporting the both of you

If anyone sees the both of you, 173 would stalk them to no end

Would torture them if they were to tell the foundation about this

Not even the other SCPs could help

When you curl up in their lap

Would find you the cutest thing on Earth

Aside from 999 of course

If he's exhausted from doing nothing, he would probably just rub your head/back

Definitely would tickle you whenever he can

Finds it comforting when you do curl up in his lap

Thinks that you're so cute to the point that he would kill for you

When you kiss his neck

10000000000000% loves it

Would definitely be vocal because he has no shame

Most likely would ask you to do it again

Even if you were in the middle of talking to someone and they hear him

If you were in the mood, you could tease him with neck kisses for hours on end

Probably would ask you to move on to the next activity but you know he loves being teased

Then after that go back to cuddling

173 would scream but the last time that happened the whole foundation went deaf and you gave him the cold shoulder for a while

Definitely cried about that so he tries to restrain himself

But you feel bad so you just carried on

[elysianslove]

hi! may i request hcs of the haikyuu boys watching/helping their significant other workout? maybe yoga or just a regular workout? would be sweet if it was all of them but i know there are so many, so mainly kuroo, kageyama, bokuto, oikawa and nishinoya <3 thank you!!

hi anon!! i’m sorry i didn’t do all the boys, but i wrote for the specific boys you requested. if you, or anybody else, wants these hc’s for other boys i’d love to do them hehe. hope you enjoy!

kuroo tetsurō

he’s so excited as soon as you’re like “hey wanna work out together”

like his whole body freezes up and then he just

screams

if you’re already like pretty athletic, he makes everything a competition

but doesn’t actually compete

he just wants to watch you 😏

no fr he’ll be like “i bet i can do more squats than you”

and then just doesnt squat and only watches you squat

this mf 😭

he gets way too excited and puts an alarm at 4;30 am to text you/wake you up to go on a run with him

you: see that’s what we’re not gonna do

if you’re not very athletic or you’re just starting to get accustomed to working out

he is so. encouraging

like sickeningly so

tries his best not to overwhelm you and does really basic workouts with you

but also if ur laying face down on the ground crying “i dont wanna do this anymore” he will NOT have any of it

good luck unsubscribing to his services

he just wants to see you succeed 🥺 👉🏼👈🏼

cooks you the best healthy meals you dont even feel like youre missing out on anything

now

yoga

listen he’s so cheeky

he’s so mf TOUCHY

couples yoga with kuroo >>>>

it’s so funny bc this man is so strong he can do pretty much any move that requires any type of strength but pull out the flexibility card and he will pass away on the spot

he also just likes to watch you do yoga

not just bc he’s a pervert

but also bc it’s just interesting to see you in your zone

buys you yoga pants just bc <3333

“u just wanna stare at my ass”

“how dare you i would never objectify my gf”

stares at your ass <3

kageyama tobio

remember when i said kuroo would make everything a competition but wouldn’t really care

kageyama cares

he’s so annoying youre just trynna have fun working out w ur bf but here he is trynna kill u bc he’s so much better at everything

okay but if YOURE better 🤑

it pisses him off at first but then he realizes he’s pissed off bc ur so hot and make his spine tingle

work outs with him are intense as fuck

like he goes all out

but then he helps you stretch and 😏 it’s worth it

if he’s helping you workout, he’s kinda harsher than he intends to be

and when he realizes that yk maybe he’s being a lil extra

he apologizes and just asks how you wanna do it

spends the night researching hehe 

is encouraging in a demeaning way like “do you WANT to regret not working harder” ur like tobio i swear on my life i will start crying

when y’all are done he does like give u a small kiss and the sweetest smile “good work” and it makes it all the more worth it

about yoga though

when he first watched u he was horny hwbwjwks

he was like oop what is this feeling

but then it clicked lmao

avoids watching you unless you’re doing it privately so he can embarrass himself less

if you invite him to join you it’s just rigorous head shaking but he loves you sm he’ll do anything for you

he just follows your lead and is listening so attentively and is trying to mimic your movements exactly and is so awe oh my god he’s so CUTE

once ur done and ur both just laying on the ground you roll over and kind lean over him and give him a kiss “thank u for doing this with me”

“we should do it more often”

not horny just in love with you <3

bokuto kōtarō

so hyperactive good luck keeping up with him

he’s also like

built

LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN. HIM???? no way he doesnt go crazy w the work outs

if you suggest to work out together he’s so excited and he just does everything normally the way he does at 2.5x speed and you’re just like bruh 🧍🏻‍♀️ slow down

you do eventually find your own rhythm that kinda matches his own

and it’s nice to have him with you because like if you’re at a gym and ur using a device across the room from him he’ll just yell and wave at you and blow you a kiss god i love this dork

after you’re both spent you just sit on the ground across from each other stretching just talking just vibing

gives you a big smooch in between everything if he can

it becomes a really positive addition to your life ngl

if he’s helping you work out

he is actually the fkn BEST

despite him being a work out freak, he doesn’t force that on you in any way

if anything i think he’d be super gentle

so cheerful when encouraging you

and rewards you a lot

too much probably

“20 PUSHUPS BABE !!!! LETS GO MAKE OUT FOR 20 MINUTES”

he doesn’t just say it he really does mean it when he tells you he’s proud of you

loves it when you do yoga

immediately tries to join in

“oouu teach me this move” proceeds to fall on his ass <3

 t’s okay he has a lotta cushioning 😏

he always wants to try the couples yoga moves

he saves them on his phone to show you later and you cant say no bc ur already in gear and the yoga mat is on the ground hehe

(if you watch cody ko and kelsey kreppel’s couples yoga video that’s basically how it goes with you two)

^^^ in one of the moves he has to like lift you up by your arms as youre sitting down and he’s standing and he accidentally just shoves your face into his crotch

you both couldn’t stop laughing until you nearly peed and thats the beauty of love

oikawa tōru

he has to repeatedly ask you if you’re s u r e you wanna work out with him 

if you’re s u r e you can keep up

please hand his cocky ass to him <3 

if you’re athletic, prepare to have him try to one up you every time you do something 

it’s so sweet though cause he’s so determined and he’s sticking his tongue out between his lips and you’re just like baby please what is this 

tells you to lay beneath him while he does push ups so he can kiss you 

you complain about how sweaty he is but really you just want him to take his shirt off <3 

okay two important things i want to go over

one. oikawa does not know when to stop. so, honestly, you probably suggested to work out with him to keep him in check and make sure he doesn’t overwork himself 

please make him drink water and take breaks when necessary :( 

two. his knee :( he would probably need to be very careful and he’ll teach you the correct way to massage it and prep it before he does any critical work 

if you approach him one day about helping you work out cause you’re clueless — yes it will get to his head

but like ??? he’s your boyfriend??? your very athletic boyfriend??? 

who else would u ask tf 😹

anyways he makes a whole like list and shit

organizes it so well with color coding and different handwriting 

keeps you up to date with your progress and always says things like “look how well you’re doing babe!” and gives you a hugeeee hug 

now, oikawa is either weirdly flexible, or not flexible at all

we’re gonna go for the first one for this yoga hc 

joins you randomly and starts doing the poses correctly right away ur like ??? sir ??? 

distracts you. so much. 

“can i have a kiss— another one?— one more— one more babe— okay an—“ 

make out sessions ensued :)

nishinoya yū

actually i think noya would like to be in own zone kinda thing when he’s working out

probably blasting some katy perry in his ears ngl 

but when you tell him you wanna go work out with him?? 

now you’re both blasting katy perry in your ears 

stares. stares so much. provocatively. 

he’s your bf so you get it

but women have come up to you in the gym asking if you’re okay hbwjwkwe

makes you try out his routine while he tries out yours 

“wow babe this is sooo easy” he’s dying dont believe him

you guys probably have a handshake that’s so motivating to do before and after eeekkkk he probably makes you feel SO good about yourself after

takes you to eat the unhealthiest shit he can find after a workout because why not right ? chivalry? undead 😻

if you ask him for help he’ll accept right away

competes with you to help you improve 

“one day babe you’ll be beating me at these with such ease” 

he’s the loud kind of encouraging 

yells a lot

like so much 

body worship all the time <3333

“god u look SO good right now i love you so much” 

this simp i love him sm

anyways. onto yoga 

did i mention he stares 👁👁

because he does 

he already knows you do yoga and he will find out your schedule 

just. likes to watch you tbh 

if you offer to do couples yoga with him he refuses bc he likes the view where he is lmfao 

there are so many tiktoks of him just doing the dances while you calmly do yoga 

it becomes a trend lmfaowjwnsj

anyways yes best supportive bf award goes to noya (actually all of them who am i kidding)

end note; MY BEST FRIEND PAINTED AKAASHI FOR MY BDAY GIFT I STOPPED BREATHING ,,, anyways i hope y’all enjoyed this!! feel free to request some more mwah

[thr-333]

Drastic Measures- Part 5

@daminette-december2019-2020

~Sweater~

Shoves romance to the side and shoves friendship in your face!!!

Ao3

First< Previous > Next

----------

“Marinette,” Adrien whines as she opens the curtain the second they get back, “Sleep,”

“Just a minute, I want to design Damian something,” Marinette takes up residence at the desk, throwing open her sketchbook, “I will be friends with him!”

“Wasn't he kind of a jerk to you?” Adrien flops onto the bed, Plagg rig after him, "I think we should go back to that point, maybe sleep on it,"

“You were a jerk too~” Marinette sing-songs finishing up a rough sketch of a sweater.

“I was trying to get the gum off your seat!” Adrien slams his hands down.

“Sure you were~”

“Mariiiiiii,” Adrien collapses back into the bed covers, muffling his whining.

“Come on you,” Marinette collects her sketchbook, “Come get material with me,”

“No, it’s time to sleep,”

“It’s midday,”

“Your point?”

"Ok, Plagg 2.0 should I get you some camembert while I'm out too?"

"I'm up!" Adrien sits bolt upright, "Never call me that again,"

Marinette ends up dragging Adrien out of the mansion he pouts as Alfred delivers them into the city she thanks him profusely.

“We were just in the city why didn’t you pick up fabric then?” Adrien walks by her side down the street.

“Because I’m stuck between 2 concepts and I need to see the fabric before going forward,” Marinette bounces along looking through the windows there are quite a few craft shops in the area which suits her just fine.

“Please don’t run off,” Adrien gently holds her sleeve, “Marinette this city…”

“It’s filled with a dark energy,” Marinette agrees, even in this nicer area had something ominous hanging over it, “It’s like it’s seeped into the city’s very bones,”

“And the Akuma aren’t helping things,” A child across the street starts crying and they both instinctively lookout.

“On the plus side at least hawkmoth doesn't send Akuma after every little thing,” Marinette forces herself to relax, moving on as the kids parents comfort them.

“On the downside, he sends them after emotions that are a lot worse,” Adrien follows along into a store as Marinette filters through the shelves.

“Maybe but we can handle this,” Marinette absent-mindedly raises her fist, meeting Adreins, “Do you think I should make something for everyone, you know as a thank you?”

“I haven't gotten them anything,” Adrien takes the armful of fabric Marinette passes him as she brings out her sketchbook to select old designs.

“I’ll handle the making,” Marinette ticks off a vest she thinks with be perfect for Bruce, “And you handle the finances,”

“I stole my father's credit card,” Adrien says with a grin, “He’ll probably find out where I am soon anyway so might as well start using it,”

“In that case,” Marinette pulls out a roll of incredibly expensive fabric, “We also need new phones,”

“And we should go out for lunch,”

“Get our hair done?” Marinette adds, looking at her half hacked off hair “I still need to fix mine from this,”

“I was thinking our room could use a chair?”

“And the bookshelf is looking a bit empty,”

“A nice expensive rug would really liven up the room,”

“Would it be completely inappropriate to get a motorcycle?”

“Yes,” Adrien agrees, “Let's do it,”

They stop to get new phones first, having destroyed their old ones when they ran away. Adrien finds the most expensive restaurant in town, but it's on the far end so they stop to get a motorcycle first.

“I didn’t know you could ride,” Adrien gestures for the waiter in their private room, “Yes can I please have the duck?”

“My Nona taught me,” Marinette sips at the most expensive drink she can legally buy, “I thought you hated duck?”

“Oh I do,” Adrien grins, which drops when his phone starts ringing, “How did he even get this number?”

Marinette looks over his shoulder to see Gabriel trying to call. Adrien purposefully hangs up rolling his eyes.

“We should go do our hair next,” Adrien leans over the table with a manic grin, ”I was thinking of dying it hot pink,”

“Love the concept,” Marinette cringes at the very thought, “But the execution is flawed, you need to dye it a color you actually like not one just to spite your father otherwise he's still just controlling your life, just in a different way,”

“You're right,” Adrien sighs leaning back examining his blonde locks, “What do you think?”

“A nice pastel or cherry blossom pink would look amazing,” Adrien perks up at the suggestion he can still keep the pink, “Actually I might do that too- oh wait! Will that affect our transformation?”

“Not unless you really want to deep down,” Tikki explains, her and Plagg gorging themselves on expensive cheese and treats.

“Well deep down I really don't want to give away our identities like this,”

“It’s a plan then,” Adrien smiles, “Now do you want to order anything else?”

“Thanks but I’m full,”

“What's that got to do with anything?”

 ---

 “Looks great Nette,” Adrien gives her a side hug, the hairdresser shooing him away while he does the final touch-ups.

“Are you talking to me or yourself?” Marinette smiles at the new and improved shock of pink hair.

“Well obviously I look fabulous, but you look great too,” Marinette rolls her eyes at him looking back in the mirror. Instead of evening out her hair, they had made it look like her little episode was actually intentional giving it nice layers and even doing an undercut on the other side. Unlike Adrien, she didn't go all pink, instead the tips being white ombre up to pink and then her natural hair color.

“Thanks, you have to send a picture of your hair to Nino he's more invested in your teenage rebellion than you are, he’s probably also hurt you left him out of the running away part,”

“He has suggested, more than once, running away together,”

“Why what's wrong with Nino's family?”

“Nothing at all,” Adrien quickly covers, “I think he just really wanted me to run away, his mum offered to pack us lunches,”

“Well, maybe we could have used the turtle,” Marinette sighs, “But I could do that to Nino, you already had to leave Kagami behind, have you given her a call yet?”

“Oh um, about that-" Adrien points at her tapping his chin thoughtfully, "Never mention it again,”

“Adrien,” Marinette scowls, “Call your girlfriend,”

“She’ll kill me,” Adrien hides partly behind a seat looking meek, “Also you don't get to lecture me, you haven't called your parents,”

“That's different,” Marinette groans sinking into the seat, only to get told off for moving, “They’ll want me to come home, how am I supposed to explain that I can’t,”

“They’re your parents,” Adrien stresses, “I’m sure they’ll be happy enough to know your ok,”

“Maybe,” Marinette hums, the cloth being removed from her shoulders letting her get up, “I just feel so bad for putting them through this,”

“Maybe one day they’ll understand,” Adrien walks with her to the front to pay.

“Maybe,” Marinette looks down at the bill, “Wow this is a lot more expensive than the usual dye job,”

Made sense because they were in the higher income distinct of the city.

“Why Marinette,” Adrien grins swiping the card, “That's the point,”

Ten minutes later they were laughing as calls kept pouring in one after the other. They are only interrupted when they get the distinct feeling of an Akuma.

“Duty calls,” Adrien sighs putting his phone on silent.

“Seems so, at least we can call out skills multiple times," Marinette walks casually into an alley with him, “What are you up to?”

“About three,” Adrien shrugs transforming, “It takes about double the time for the transformation to drop now,”

“Same, wish I could say that gives us the edge but really it only keeps us from falling off the cliff,” Marinette also transforms, her new costume bringing a smile to her face.

“How eloquent my lady,” Marinette playfully pushes him, Chat catches himself catapulting over the building, she quickly follows behind.

The Akuma is standard, Marinette guesses the akumatized item is the wrist watch. The problem comes with their recurring thorn in her side.

“Ladybug-”

“Get out of the city,” She cuts Batman off, “Yeah, yeah let us handle this first,”

Marinette throws her yoyo out just in time to deflect an attack headed at Chat.

“Do you need any help?” Robin asks, Marinette smiles, partly at the aghast face Batman makes.

“Do you think you could tag-team it with me?” She asks formulating a plan, with the extra help she might not need the lucky charm, “Make your attacks big and draw his attention, grab the wristwatch if you can,”

“On it,” Robin gives her a nod jumping into the fray, Ladybug doesn't give batman a chance to object running after.

Robin does a good job they work in perfect sync falling back when the other moves to make an attack. When the Akuma focuses on them too much Chat swoops in and gets their attention giving them the chance to swipe at the wristwatch. It goes on she sees Robin get thrown back after another failed swipe at the wristwatch. Ladybug takes the chance to move forward grabbing for the wrist, she isn't watching out for the other arm, the impact hitting and sending her flying back.

“I got you,” Her momentum is stopped by a hand bracing at her back, saving her from crashing into the adjacent building.

“Thanks, Robin,” He helps steady her as she finds her footing again, “I’ll move in you follow me up,”

“No need,” He smirks brandishing the watch.

“You did it,” Ladybug beams, taking the watch and smashing it to the ground, “Great job!”

“Ah, thanks,” Ladybug doesn't pay attention to how Robin brushes, focusing on purifying the Akuma and fixing the damage.

“We made a pretty good team,” Ladybug turns to Robin when everything is settled, “Pound it,”

Robin meets her fist with some hesitance, which disappears when she smiles at him again.

“Ladybug!” Batman yells heading their way.

“Ops sorry,” Ladybug cringes, “Sorry! Cant stop gotta go, bye bye!”

They run from the scene faster than Batman can hope to catch them. They end up back at her newly brought bike stacked with fabric and protected by a bit of luck. Marinette races home to make everyone's gifts, knowing just who she wanted to start with.

 ---

 “There you are!” Marinette exclaims, having spent the past half hour searching the manor for him.

“What do you want?” Damian snaps as if he wasn't just playing with the cat on the floor half a second ago.

“Nothing, I made something for you~” He continues to scowl but Marinette doesn't let it discourage her, “Here, I didn’t know your size so I made a baggier style, do you like it?”

Damian takes the sweater holding it up to where she put it on him looking down a little shocked. Marinette almost wants to laugh at the expressions trying to shift back from awe to disinterest, it’s cute. She smiles wondering what his face would look like if she made a matching one for the cat, and maybe Titus too.

“.... It’s well made,” Damian eventually allows, folding it over his arm, Marinette notices how his fingers linger on the soft fabric.

“Good to know,” She smiles, bidding him goodbye before the moment can be ruined. She bounces down the hall humming to herself.

“Someone's happy,” Tikki flies out of her bag.

“He liked it, why wouldn't I be happy?”

“Someones really happy,”

“Stop it Tikki,” Marinette giggles, making the kwami laugh in turn.

“Just like adrien~” Tikki sing songs floating down the hall ahead of her.

“Well then, keep Kagami far away from this one,”

“Don’t turn into a stuttering mess and we have a deal,” Tikki agrees.

“Please Tikki I’m not thirteen anymore,” Marinette brushes her off, ready to go make the others gifts, if she spent the whole time humming to herself Tikki wasn't going to explain why to Adrien.

---------

Taglist? nope don’t have one, horrible at keeping track of them sorry~

[hinatas-sunshine]

Synopsis: The first time you said I love you or they said I love you

Genre: Fluff hehe maybe tiny tiny angst for Bo

A/N: Big thanks to @cclovesanime for the character request! I hope everyone enjoys this & thank you for all the love! Check out my masterlist in my pinned post!

Part 2 with different boys will be posted later!Kithes 🥺❤️

Kuroo:

• Everything about your 1 year date was perfect

• From the dinner to the strolling around town to now

• You were laying in his arms, looking up at the stars on a picnic blanket together

• You thought about conversations in the past everyone talked about

“So has he said I love you?”

“How do you know you two love each other if you’ve never said it?”

“I’d be upset if my boyfriend never told me he loved me.”

• Truth was, you didn’t care

• You were much happier with his actions rather than his words

• You knew he loved you because he put so much effort into the relationship without you asking

• He walked you home, He brought you back if he ever went out, He buys you dinner if he eats out on night, He visits you when you’re stressed

• He’s there for you

• The boy always thinks of you

“I found this flower on my way to class this morning and I picked it up so I could bring it to you.”

“I brought you coffee/tea, I know you’ve been working your butt off recently.”

“I brought you my textbook, I know you forgot yours dummy.”

• He was considerate and you knew he loved you, Thats why the words didn’t matter to you

• And here you were, on your one year date, looking at the stars in silence just enjoying each other’s comfort and soaking in the one on one time you two rarely get.

• You sat up and looked down at him, he closed his eyes and playfully snored

“Ku! I know you’re not asleep!”

• he peeked an eye open before shutting, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you down on top of him

• You giggled and placed your hands on his chest before looking into his eyes, he smiled and pushed a loose strand of your hair behind your ear

“What’s on your mind y/n?”

• another reason you knew no matter what this man loved you, he read you like a book and knew everything about you

• You found yourself tearing up and smiling at him, you laughed not believed youre actually Crying right now

“Hey hey hey, what’s wrong?”

Bokuto: I feel like someone is stealing my line

“Kuroo...”

• His eyebrows furrowed in confusion before smiling softly at you

“Ku, I love you.”

• His smile widened and he brought you down to kiss you, a slow passionate, yet rough, kiss

“I *kiss* love *kiss* you *kiss* too.”

• He kisses your nose before looking to your big e/c eyes, soaking in the pure love and happiness you displayed for him

“It only took you one year!”

“At least I said it rooster head!”

Hinata:

• You two were both sunshine babies and everyone protected you two at all costs

• When you and Hinata were watching a fairly sad romance movie, your favorite movie of all time, you two cried your eyes out

• You’d been dating for half a year and spent all of your free time together, all of it

• When the two characters had to let each other go, and they thought about each other everyday they were apart, you looked at each other with 🥺 eyes

• That movie wrecked you and Hinata, you two spent hours just holding each other and crying

• He dug his head into your neck sniffling a little

“I love you y/n, I never want to lose you.”

• You cried harder at this and held him extremely tight

“I love you so much more.”

• You were glad to be able to hold him and have him by your side

• Even though you were crying over a movie you knew he meant it with his whole chest

• After every game, practice, training camp, his time belonged to you. He always thought about going to you and just holding you for hours

• His love language is just holding his s/o, and you loved it

• He walked you to your class holding you hand, he felt pride when you held onto his arm, he was constantly just needing you touch

• as he held you in his arms on the couch, just letting you cry now that his tears settled, he felt thankful to have you in his life - his chaotic life

• You were there for him after a bad game, when him and Kageyama fought, when he needed someone to help him improve

• You were always his biggest fans and his heart swelled with joy just knowing he had you

• You finally looked up still sniffling and laughed lightly

“Y-you finally said I love you huh?”

“Yeah, and I mean it.”

• he grabbed the side of your head and pulled you in to kiss your forehead, to which to sighed in content holding his wrist in your own hand just to let it linger for a few second more

• The next few days were crazy ✨

• everyone thought you were inseparable then? well now you two were glued together.

“Do you two ever spend time away from one another?”

“Nope!”

• Suga sighed before dragging them both away from each other saying you two needed some time by yourselves

• You and Hinata kept looking at each other from across the room: 🥺👉🏽👈🏽

Tsukki: This is so annoying

Asahi: I feel bad...

• You two finally explained the whole problem about the movie and everyone just looked at you two like you couldn’t be more pure

• But you two weren’t aloud to watch sad romance movies anymore

“We should watch the titanic!”

“Y/n, Suga said no..”

“Y/n says yes!”

• You watched it and it was another cycle of what happened last time

Suga: I can’t this is so adorable 🥺

• Daichi scolded both of you and then you never watched romantic movies after without anyone there to supervise

Bokuto:

• He says it a lot! And you don’t mind it because you love him too, you’ve just never said it back

“I love you y/n!”

• To which you’d smile sweetly and place a slow kiss on his lips

• It’s not that you didn’t want to say it, it’s that you wanted to say it when it mattered most to him

• When the boys pointed out how you’d never said I love you back to him, they realized their mistake quickly

• He sulked around practice for the rest until Akaashi had enough and sat down with him

“You believe y/n doesn’t love you? Just because she hasn’t said it? Bokuto-San thats the silliest thing I’ve ever heard.”

• He looked at his best friend, pouting face turning confused

“She goes to all of your games, she brings you lunch all the time, she yells at anyone who’s mean to you, and I know she takes care of you after long practices.”

• Bokuto’s smile widened thinking about all the times he sulked while at your house after a bad long practice and you running him a bath and making him a fast dinner for him to enjoy before he would head home

• He also thought about how you always wrote him a note to leave in his bag when he had long training camps with some of his favorite baked goods in a cute bag

• He smiled at Akaashi before standing up

“She does love me huh?”

• He rolled his eyes before smiling and nodding giving him a small yes

• Since then Bokuto knew to give you time to say I love you when you were ready

• And he was excited to hear those words leave your lips

• it didn’t stop him from trying to squeeze it out of you though

• He did everything, flowers, chocolates, a bear, A ROMANTIC DINNER CHILE PLS

• Until one specific game, no matter what Bokuto wasn’t going to lose

• It was his Key to nationals

• And one perfect spike won it all for him and his team

• You ran down and he automatically spotted you opening his arms as you leaped into them wrapping your legs around his torso

“I knew you could do it Bo!”

• He placed a kiss on your cheek

“I’m glad you were here to see it y/n!”

“I love you I’m so proud!”

• His smiled widened even bigger and he kissed you setting you down softly and holding onto your waist pulling you impossibly closer to him

•cheers were around you two but for once Bokuto ignore all the praise and all the attention and focused on you

• That night was one for the books, and Bokuto was glad he waited to hear those words

“You took FOREVER!”

“You want me to take it back?”

“YOU CANT JUST- No please. 🥺”

GIVE HIM A BREAK FJWJFOWNFO

Tags:

[og-danny-dorito]

[ Tanjiro Headcanons To Fuel The Fluff/Angst Tank ]

He Is Baby™ thank you very much and i love him with my whole heart

- hi hello i would like to share my thoughts on this baby cause i love him v much

- he gives me the vibe that he would def love anything strawberry related. like strawberry milk, strawberry shortcake, strawberry yogurt- the list goes ON

- he would eat them more often if they weren't so godamn expensive, and most of the time you can only find those kinds of products when in the city and he mostly travels through the woods rather than through heavily populated areas. he does get them when he can though, and usually has some stocked up when he and nezuko leave rural areas

- thats not the only fruit he likes though! hes also a huge fan of cherries but he gets those even less since they're even MORE expensive. he also very much likes mint chocolate chip icecream! something about the clash of dark chocolate and refreshing mint is just so good to him, and usually he’ll try to look for that specific flavor if theres any icecream places nearby. my basis for that?

- thankfully though he doesnt really buy things from others since he just gets most of his food from the surrounding forest. you see, tanjiro literally lived in the woodlands for most of his early life before the whole 'incident', so hes accustomed to being more of a hunter-gatherer when it comes to those sorts of things

- he knows a whole bunch of stuff about forest plants and topography for that reason specifically, and can make food out of pretty much nothing due to having to go through some rough winter times that required scavenging

- overall though hes a pretty good cook! his father and mother both liked to cook and bake and all that before they died, and, being eager to help and learn, he usually watched them when they did or asked to help with preparing the food

- he actually probably has a lot of domestic skills, now that i think about it. things like sewing up ripped clothing or repairing damaged items are almost muscle memory to him since he was raised to value what he had and not aimlessly spend his money due to his humble beginnings

- he’s actually more comfortable with simple things rather than lavish ones since thats what he grew up with. being a demon slayer means that he does get commissioned to do things sometimes or paid for it, but he usually gives most of his money to poeple who need it after spending some of what he has on more efficient and useful things like better fabric for clothes and repairs for things that he doesn't have the skill set to fix himself

- due to this humble attitude he has for things, he barely ever really treats himself to things he enjoys. he usually puts others before himself and thus forgets about his own needs, leading him to often deny taking care of himself if he deems to 'not have enough time' or 'not being important enough”

- usually forcing him to sit down and eat or at least take a moment to drink some tea can calm his nerves a ton, even if its only just for a second

- i'm pretty sure that his favorite drink is green tea (or strawberry milk), actually. its just so naturally calming and relaxing that he usually uses it as a staple for calming himself down or taking a breather from the stressful life he's lead so far

- for someone that barely takes care of himself hes awfully adamant about others taking acare of themselves. oh, you haven't slept in three days because of work? guess what you're going to sleep right now. no, dont Mention how he keeps moving even though he should be in bed because of a broken rib, your needs come first now go to sleep

- deeefinitely the mom friend type in more ways then one. its p obvious that he already takes care of Nezuko, Zenitsu and Inosuke as good friends of his, but hes kinda adamant on taking care of them almost like they're younger than him or something. this doesnt mean that they can’t take care of themselves of course, he just kinda feels the natural instinct to protect people he values if he can (mainly due to the fear that he’ll suddenly loose them without making it clear he cares about them first but we will unpack that suitcase LATER in the list)

-for that reason i can safely say that he's probably fantastic with kids because of his gentle nature. hes just so soft and pure that children naturally feel calm around him? its weird how like a baby will literally stop crying in a city full of people just because they saw tanjiro wave and smile at them and as SOON as hes out of eyesight they start crying again. also tanjiro holding a baby? you CANNOT tell me this man wouldnt softly sing some lullaby he remembers from his childhood to a child cradled in his arms, fast asleep. and the smile he gives to the person who finds him like that is BLINDING i cannot comprehend the purity-

-the EXACT same thing goes for animals. its straight up canon that he understands (to an extent) what birds are saying when they're chirping to one another, so its probably safe to assume that he might understand a little bit of what other animals may be saying when they communicate

- yet another effect of living in the forest most of his life and being way too observant at his age :p

- when dogs bark he responds to them out of instinct, knowing what they mean. when some pig just randomly snorts at him don't be surprised when he just says "oh, thank you!" in the most earnest tone possible because he probably knows what the animal said and is responding to it honestly. answering like he's pretending to know what it means would be dishonest, and thats too out of character for the sunshine boy

-its also gotta be mentioned that tanjiro physically rejects the concept of being dishonest. i swear to god I'm not making this up- when hes lying its so easy to tell because his face is physically rejecting the concept that hes not being sincere

-this goes for pretty much anything- he cant really blatantly lie without shifting in place or making a weird expression. its no expection that when asked about his feelings that he can barely keep a straight face by saying that he's "okay"

-theres just so much pent up grief and sorrow for so many things that its hard to really say that he's "just fine" or "alright" some days. the accumulation of trauma and guilt has lead up to this constant dread boiling in the pit of his stomach that he'll fail one day, and this would've been all for nothing

-he'll die one day without his goals being met, without Nezuko being healed, without his friends safe, without so many things that he thought he could fix that will eat him up until he fixes them. he doesn't have frequent depressive episodes all that often anymore since Sakonji helped him with that (kind of, it was kind of a group effort by his other superiors, the Pillars, too with some reassurance and advice since a good portion have Been There Done That with the survivor’s guilt and the like) in terms of teaching him how to meditate more frequently and search for positive outlets for his negative feelings. he helped him accept that it was okay to feel bad about it, but he couldn't give up, no matter what. because “What worth was your dream if you just gave up in the end?”

-and so he doesn't. he never gives up, on anything. he refuses to give up when his friends are in danger and the odds are against him, or when hes face to face with an eldritch demon who's been alive longer than the numbers he can count. tanjiro is incredibly persistent in his efforts, big or small, and makes a conscious decision every time to not abandon what he worked for because the phrase "What worth was your dream if you just gave up in the end?" motivates him to be better than who he was yesterday and try his best to reach his dreams

- because of this he's a heavy believer that most people can change. i say most because I'm pretty sure he knows Muzan will never change, or some of the other terrible people in the world. he's accepted over time that he can’t help everyone, but he'll be damned if he doesn't try his hardest in figuring ot if they are truly, genuinely, capable of being better. so he's incredibly supportive of people who actually do make efforts to improve themselves because he knows how hard it is to come from such a bad situation/bad mindset and reteach good values and habits

- that doesn't mean that poeple are expempt from their punishments of course- everyone deserves the consequences of their actions to be better to know what to improve on, but he has sympathy for the poeple who's consequences stop their lives short (example, countless demons that he feels terrible for because they came from really bad situations)

-since he knows how hard it is to improve on anything- he’s very very supportive to people who do that for themselves or for others. in fact, he would go out of his way for about anyone to make their life a little better but if he sees someone struggling their way to their personal best he'll happily be a help to them in any way that they can. oh, you were training really hard today and had no success in perfecting a certain technique? its alright, you can just lay down right now while he fixes your bath water and tomorrow he'll help you out with it in any way he can. hes the best cheerleader!

-overall tanjiro is very sweet and kind, even though he has personal problems with his own demons and feeling as if he's a burden most of the time. for all this suffering, he views the prosperity of the people around him worth it and is selfless to the end of the line for those whom he cares about

[ ~Thank You For Reading!~ ]

[alexiraphale]

things i get blamed for as the eldest sibling in a brown household!

falling down / tripping

using my laptop in my room too much

staying in my room too much

talking back when it’s just an explanation

standing up for human rights or trying to be involved in activism

talking about ANY other career than doctor

trying to set future goals and have them tell me they’re never gonna let me be that independent to the point of not even owning a house until im married to a rich guy

wanting to live my life my way

trying to practice self care

talking to my friends too long(??)

eating too much or too less

being fat and “unpresentable” to family

not taking excellent care of my siblings (im 14, my sister 10, my bro 5”

wanting to read a romance novel

wearing shirts in front of my grandparents

trying to talk to them about my emotions

privacy

not giving my family everything they want

crying too much because of them

they scolded me for having depression and anxiety????? and my selfharm scars???????

trying to stand up to racism (we are literally brown and they say it doesn’t affect us???)

being outed as queer

wanting to have my own money or even a little bit of independence

not fake smiling for all of my relatives

not liking it when they show me off in public and then scold me for everything they insult me for in private

they’re really good at absolutely crushing any form of self respect i have for myself. sense of self is a far far far away dream

being a lawyer because they’re morally twisted and have corrupt money (??)

talking to my cousins and having a nice relationship

not wanting to have a married and parenting life anywhere before 27 (bc i want to start my career)

stopping them from saying slurs

trying to improve their grammar so that no one mocks them when we shift to australia

trying to correct them in something because of course they’re correct in every single thing

scolding me for telling them about my interests just for them to mock me and then scolding me again for not telling them

not letting me have any kind of social media “because we’re not bad people like others” tf does that mean

not getting good grades one time in a subject i don’t even like and don’t want to pursue as a career but i can’t have anything under an A of course

all this has taught me is that parental love is conditional and on-and-off. i’m drowning and i cant live like this.

y’all mean to tell me you have households which comfort you? they love you and not just the glorified idea they had of you when u were born? the real you?

[atouchofgreen]

Weed & Mental Health (adolescent)

Mom and Dad,

In the recent months I have experienced cognitive decline that I attribute to my use of weed cartridges. I started smoking weed cartridges when I was in my senior year of high school, and  became addicted. I hated it but for some reason I couldn't stop I smoked daily. Although I took month long breaks often, I continued to smoke in college during my first 2 years. Towards the second semester of sophomore year, I used legal delta 8 carts instead of delta 9 carts. The only negative aspect of using up to my sophomore year was my lack of motivation and any minute cognitive changes went away following abstinence. I should have quit or asked for help. In high-school I asked for help by leaving my stash on the laundry machine and gave a singular puff to mom one time (she thought it was an e-cigg though). In highschool in my AP Chemistry class, I saw a kid at the end of class do a hit from a similar weed cart in front of his friends. It would have been so easy for him to get caught, he was standing up giggling with his back turned but the teacher was on the computer and didn't notice. I recognized then that this kid was so alone with his addiction that he did it in front of his friends at school out of pain and solidarity. He had an expressionless face most of the day and seemed distraught, I knew from the grapevine he smoked a lot. He was like me, addicted, and did a hit in school subconsciously screaming for help. After class I asked coach Jacobs his thoughts on using weed. He said, sitting on his computer desk chair with his hands behind his head, " I think after 25 half a joint does the same damage as having a martini, but before then its really bad for you physically, mentally, and your development as a human being. You should wait until after your brain is fully developed to try anything." I remembered this for the rest of my life. I didnt have the courage  to directly ask for help but I needed it and should have asked anyone. I couldn't quit it although I should have had the courage to do so. I tried quitting many times but I was too far down the drain mentally. But now, I am scared for myself. I quit completely following moving jethin in because I was noticing cognitive decline in myself. It was terrible. One morning, I woke up and nothing entered my brain its like I was a zombie. That is why I quit. I hoped I would regain my functionality like before, but to no avail. My iq seems to have dropped 10 points at least. My short term memory has regressed so much that learning new information is difficult for me. Reading is harder and to recall something takes me much longer than before. I have a harder time making long term plans and imagining things. I had a hard time with understanding and expressing English as well though this has been improving. My mind is nothing like it was before. Now, my memory, pattern recognition, recall, imagination, has diminished to a much lower degree. I was fine last year and the year before that, my mental health and cognition were good, but recently it seems like a switch turned off for me. When I walk in the world I don't absorb information the same. I don't abstractify what I am seeing as easily, and my short term memory is really shot. Its like I'm just walking in the world blind deaf and dumb. I am scared I won't be able to pass my classes even though compared to highschool these classes are an absolute breeze relatively speaking to when my brain was sober. I can't do quick calculations anymore and I am acutely aware that my senses are just senses. Seeing touching hearing are just that, I can't calculate the same way i used to to create a coherent experience of what's going on around me. I don't have appreciation for life anymore. I  am telling you all of this now because i have really experienced cognitive decline and I am extremely depressed, unhappy, and anxious. I am afraid that my prefrontal cortex and hippocampus is permanently damaged. Weirdly, I've had a dull ache in my head ever since I've quit, in the middle and front of my brain, that's been getting slightly better with time. The slight discomfort or pain is always there its terrible. It also gets better temporarily when I cry, meditate, or sleep for an extended period. I hope that after a few months this dull pain would subside and my mental capabilities would return. Even my dreams are less complex and have less emotion. All of this is what I talked to that therapist about.  It's not like I am sad ALL of the time, but a lot of it. But I am pretty sure my mind will never be what it was before. I experienced life to its fullest extent while I was not using any drugs, and now that I've been sober for 2 months now and my mind is not returning close to what it was. I still feel like a zombie when exercising, and I develop a deep sense of sadness right after I work out because i recognize my short term memory and mental capability are weakened which makes it hard for me to make good memories and I get anxious about my future. I am pretty emotionless, even fear is hard for me to experience. When I am unhappy, at times I break out into a sob, but because my emotions have dulled probably from the weed, I only start to sob momentarily and then return to a face of stoicism. This makes it hard to achieve catharsis for my sadness and it gets bottled up inside. I don't really mind the mental health difficulties from quitting weed - that can pass over time with proper behavior - but it's the cognitive difficulties that makes me afraid. I am afraid that I will never be able to view the world the same way that I used to before weed. I am afraid that I won't be able to become a doctor unless my brain heals over time. I have read many studies about the use of marijuana during adolescents. Although there is conflicting research, my experience suggests the worst for me - that what I am experiencing may be permanent. I also read that smoking weed during adolescence can delay prefrontal cortex maturation, meaning I would never be able to absorb information and process it  the same way ever again. If only I had read the dangers of early marijuana use earlier and understood I would have quit immediately. It is entirely my fault my life is like this now, I was too weak. Both of you have given me everything and helped me the most you could. Especially Dad. Dad, I feel so bad because you have lowered your expectations of me so much. If I hadn't started smoking, I know I would be a completely different person.  Mom and Dad, I have been thinking about committing suicide for some time. I've been thinking about it at least once a day actually for a few months. Its not that I think life and the world is terrible and bad, I actually think the opposite. Before smoking I loved life and loved myself. I could feel the world like a thumping heartbeat or a quivering harp playing soulful music. I feel like killing myself because my current and future experiences will be inorganic. My brain structure/chemistry probably changed forever and I don't want to live with this brain anymore. I cant understand everything going on around me thus I can never understand the world the same way like I used to. I feel like i can't learn new things, everything I do now is because I am just accessing what I learned before starting to smoke weed and during freshman and sophomore year of college. My emotions have waned. I can't calculate complex things anymore and put it into context sufficiently. I can't move my body and think strongly at the same time. Right now, meditation and thinking about my long term memory is my only friend. My short term memory is shot which affects my learning and ability to make meaningful experiences or connections. It's like I have pseudodementia though not as bad. The only joy I get is accessing my long term memory and talking long walks in places and with people that used to bring me joy. I loved Turkey so much and the time we spent I go there in my head all of the time. I love Africa, I love India, I loved my friends at swimming and during highschool. But if that's all I am living for I don't know what the point is. I curse myself everyday for making the mistake of smoking weed or not quitting when I could have. I could've become a beautiful person had I continued developing normally. I am so sorry for being a bad son. I am so sorry that you came from India to America to have a child that fucked up like me. I am sorry for the stress this places on both of you. You both did nothing wrong in raising me, I just fucked up. I am sorry for how this may affect your work dad. And I am sorry for being a liability for the family. While I am drowning I don't want you both to drown with me. Maybe I can get a job somewhere or go into the military. At this point cognitively, unless my brain is capable of rewiring itself (maybe that's what the dull persistent ache is in my head) I don't think I can learn the information necessary to safefully treat patients. My therapist said it would take 3-4 months to a year to feel normal again but I don't know what I will do if I can't return to baseline. I used to live with such a thirst for life and understanding but if that doesn't return I feel like I am dragging life down and owe it to my memory of what life was before weed to take my own.  Currently my plan is to wait a year and a few months before seriously thinking of committing suicide if I don't heal because the pain I am feeling is so immense. I want to live life FEELING everything organically regardless of what it is. Also my smarts are gone and that gave me tremendous joy. I know what life was like before using weed and I know how it should feel. But I cannot properly life, my sense of self, empathy, and life around me currently. I am walking around blind deaf and dumb I don't know if I want to live this way for the rest of my life. I would have loved to become a doctor.

I just don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to kill myself and I don't think I will have the balls to frankly but that saddens me even more if I can't feel or process what I am experiencing for the rest of my life. Life is too short to waste, any life really even if I'm dumber than what I used to be. I think of people who are paralyzed, people who have cancer, who have nobody left to care for them, people who are homeless and have physical ailments. They don't give up, but their minds are still natural. I am young and the only reason I am thinking of this is because I don't want to go the rest of my life with derealization of the world around me. I don't want to live the rest of my life blind deaf and dumb. No new experiences since the latter parts of my weed addiction have given me any meaning in life compared to what I had learned before smoking weed. I am grateful I got to experience and learn the meaning of life from my perspective and others when I was younger, thank you for that. I love you both so much. I am sorry and don't worry I am not going to kill myself its just that I am angry with myself, angry with my cognitive decline, and angry that I can't experience what life ought to be currently. I am hoping for better in the future though. I just thought you should know.

Love, Your son

Before Weed: 

I am telling you this because I am scared for myself although it may be too late. Before I tell you what I've been going through, I want to tell you about my life experience up until junior year of highschool. Although I wasn't exactly extremely smart from your perspectives, I was acutely aware of my surroundings. In school I was more focused on how things were organized and what every single person in the room was thinking and what their plans were rather then what they were teaching. It's like my brain was calculating 20 things at once and i was living existentially all the time. I was incredibly happy just to be alive. I could recall the exact positions of people and things around me, what I was thinking, and the sutle muscle movements of people over a reasonable amount of time. I used to know what people were going to say before they said them, and know someone's personality outlook on life, habits mentality etc.  just by watching for 10 seconds to an incredible degree of accuracy. The longer a person was in my focus I learned more about them exponentially. I could learn things very well and had a memory based on the things that I was focused on that was so precise and better than almost everyone I had ever met. People in high school who knew me well knew this and would be shocked how i could know things about them. Some things like sexuality and gender insecurities, presence of autism/ Asperger's as a child, family life back home, and who liked who, I could tell about people after observing them for a little. I had  respect from people at school and some teachers because they knew what I could learn about a situation or people just by being in the same room. I could learn new words in the blink of an eye if I heard it just once, I was constantly calculating. With dad, I could not learn what he tried to teach me though just because I was so scared of him that my focus wasn't there and panic was always set in I was scared to be beat frankly (i wasn't scared of the pain but just scared what it meant which was hard for me to fully realize because I would slightly repress the memories and I don't like to do that). But it's from him I learned how to analyze people and the world. But he is one of the only people I've ever met where I could not track his mind to a satisfying degree. For most people I would now what they were thinking, what they were incubating in the back of their head, and their current plan of action in a glance by looking at the eyes and body. I could not do this with dad because his mind is faster than mine it was too hard to keep up. He has mind palaces that are so structured and he can jump around his mind so easily I couldn't keep up with the mind palaces he created and how he navigates them. It was harder for me to do this with people who had a very high iq but I would practice everyday and would cherish analyzing introverts for practice. I walked on a street with a hundred people I would make an observation about each of them and could later recall exactly what I saw and what I was thinking. My kinesthetic sense was very good so physical distances was easy for me to calculate and remember. I truly believed that before starting weed I would become a doctor because all my strengths coincided with it. This ability, although most ppl might be able to do it, peaked for me right before starting weed. I was very much in tune with spirituality and enjoyed reading storybooks, meditation, and socializing. I was never focused on myself but what was around me, I kept my thoughts and feelings in a box in my mind to help me learn as I recorded what others were doing and thinking. I had balls - I asked out girls in highschool, and honestly wasn't afraid of much because both of you enabled me to experience life by taking me everywhere.

[miyaniacs]

Can you do you a scenario of a self conscious reader who is aware that the Izumi also likes itachi. The reader tries to impress Itachi's parents every time but fails. At the end Itachi tries to comfort her.

Sorry for keeping you waiting for so long.. but here it is. I hope this is what you asked for. It takes place a few days before the massacre happens. 

warnings: slight angst 

Masterlist

HC Itachi S/O is self conscious because of Izumi 

You tried everything 

Bought some home made snacks whenever you visited his family, complimented them, showed interest in his mums receipts, showed off your fire style jutsus etc

But WHENEVER Izumi was there you are air for them 

She’s all over your boyfriend 

His parents are all over her complimenting her on her looks, skills, personality, how she and Itachi would make a perfect match 

One day you even heard his mum telling Izumi that she shunt give up and that Itachi will soon realise that she’d be better for him 

Itachi also became more and more distant the past days.. and you truly felt as if he lost his interest 

And one day it was just too much and you decided to leave th gathering because no one would notice anyway

You get it she’s perfect in every way

She knows him since they were little 

They are perfect for each other 

You should just give up and finally end the whole suffering 

So yes.  It was time for this now. 

As soon as you arrived home in your shared apartment, you packed your stuff and wrote a letter for him telling him everything

Dear Itachi, 

I’m sorry to tell you this trough this letter, but I’m too afraid to tell you face to face. I love you too much to say goodbye to you in person without completely breaking down. 

I’m sorry that right now I’m not here anymore and I will never be by your side again the same way I was the past months.

The past weeks I realised that you’re just too good for me. 

Your parents hate me, they always try to get you and Izumi closer together and at first I was just jealous, but as for now… I totally get it. I’m nothing compared to her. She knows you, you trust her, you trust her without thinking twice, telling her your thoughts that you don’t even share with me. I was too stupid too see all the little things but after today I can finally see clear. 

You and her ARE perfect for each other you probably needed me to realise this and I’m glad that I was at least somehow helpful to make you happy. Even if it’s not with me, but at least you can be happy with her and wear your beautiful smile everyday.

I love you Itachi and I tried my best to match up to the high expectations of having an Uchiha a boyfriend but I didn’t succeeded - an Uchih’s best match is an Uchia. 

So please, be happy without me and live your best life - please. 

I love you with all my heart, 

Y/N 

Itachi saw you leaving but his parents and Izumi told him that you said you’re not feeling well and that he should enjoy the day

But something felt wrong and the thought wouldn’t leave his mind 

So after some time he left to see if you are okay

He felt that something was bothering you for the past few days especially but he simply didn’t want to push you into telling him 

Every step that brings him further to your shared apartment the uneasy feeling inside of him grew

When he arrived he already knows you left 

He saw the letter on the table and while reading through it his heart shattered and the usually poker faced Itachi broke down and began to cry 

He knew that his parents were pushing way too much the past weeks and yes he knew he told Izumi way more than you but- god he just realised what an idiot he was 

He wanted to be strong for you, to be the shoulder you could rely on - he didn’t wanted to bother you so he told Izumi to keep his act up 

And Ohhmygod he was so stupid 

He pulled himself together and run out to look for you 

He couldn’t feel your Chakra anywhere in Konoha so he quickly went out and started looking for you 

Then he finally sensed it 

Itachi stopped, he was standing on top of a branch of a tree you were resting on. From his position he couldn’t see the tears that still run down your face, but he could hear you cry and it broke the pieces his heart was in even more. He jumped down and sat down beside you pulling you in his arms. You knew he was there, you already felt his all too familiar Chakra, so you just let him hold you not saying anything. He must have read the letter so what else was there to say.  He rests his head on top of yours and you feel small wet drops falling onto your hair. Why was he crying? Why was he even here? 

“Y/N. I’m so sorry to put you through all of this.  I don’t love Izumi in that way. I know she has feelings for me and yes my parents wanted us to marry since we were kids but my feelings for her changed as soon as you came into my life. I’ve never seen someone so beautiful and understanding as you. You’re so hardworking, always trying to improve yourself, you’re emphatic and I know you just wanted to help me and I always pushed you away. But that’s not because I don’t trust you. I was afraid. Afraid of you knowing what mess I really am. I wanted to be the strong person you can always rely on when things get rough. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. You are enough- god you’re more than enough, I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.“ He mumbles in your hair. 

“Itachi you deserve the world. You are such a loving and hardworking person that simply wants only the best for the ones you care about. And I accept that I’m not the best for you. You don’t deserve your parents to ‚hate‘ you for your s/o. You don’t deserve this extra pressure. You deserve to come home after your missions to a loving s/o whom you trust and a family that is proud of you.“ You say and shift so you can now finally look into his beautiful dark eyes. The eyes that amazed you the moment you first looked into them. 

“But YOU, Y/N, are the one thing I always look forward to see when I finished my missions, whenever I got you in my arms, I feel all the pressure and stress fall off of me. I love you. And I will stand up for you when my parents are acting up again and treating you badly. YOU don’t deserve this, okay? You only deserve the best. I’m sorry for making you think that way the past weeks. I love you so much, please come back home? I can’t imagine my life without you.“ He begs and holds your hands in his.

“Will you come to me now with all your problems so WE can figure them out together?“ You ask. 

“I will. I will show you how much I trust you .. but please don’t neglect me when I tell you everything… I know you’re strong but those things.. are messed up. Neither my Parents nor Izumi knows about them .. but I cant take the burden alone anymore…“ he begins and teases start to form in his eyes again. 

“I love you Itachi, we can figure something out together okay? And whatever happens, I will never leave you.“ You say and kiss him. 

Little did you know that a few days later you did leave Konoha, but this time together with Itachi starting your new life as a rogue.

[blookmallow]

sighs 

i finally decided to find out what the hell project makeover actually is 

this is the best fucking dress ive ever seen

so its your standard match-3 game with pretty much the exact same mechanics as matchington mansion, i have too many of these and am very tired of matching things and yet i keep downloading more of them anyway

off to a great start here with the “take away her glasses and it’ll make her instantly hot” trope 

i thought maybe we’d be giving her some new glasses that suit her better but nah she never gets the glasses back lmao 

the poor girl with the bushy hair is not a gremlin who hasnt showered in weeks standing there with her hair actively on fire, she’s just a college student who recently graduated and wants help with a new professional look, it’s actually very focused on “lets help you look good to inspire confidence and love yourself” and generally pretty wholesome except for the “you can’t wear glasses it makes you look like a nerd lol” thing 

also the blue hair guy is not her boyfriend, or the blonde lady’s boyfriend, he’s the makeover show’s hair stylist. the blonde lady is actually the villain. theres a villain of this makeover game, more on that later, but my point is i do not understand how these app games don’t ever seem to get in trouble for false advertising when their ads literally have nothing to do with the game 

granted, everything about the real game is massively better than the ads. but i still dont understand 

anyway you also redo their rooms too, and the process for this is like. taking absolutely everything out and just replacing it all so in the meantime you end up with. like 

this poor man fsdjkg i took everything from his garage and also his shoes and now hes just standing in there looking lost. and barefoot 

alright lets get some DESIGNER concrete in this barren basement 

gjdsfsgh it did actually look nice when i finished this one. i didnt use the designer concrete 

theres a whole section for drama, which is very funny to me 

so the blonde lady was the previous show manager/host who ran the whole thing in a very “you’re ugly and disgusting, let Me, the Great Fashion Diva, try my best to fix you” way so she got kicked off for being terrible and now she’s out for revenge and also has an assistant who is desperately in love with her. the assistant is also really vindictive and mean to everyone too 

“greta left her laptop here so i went snooping in it. and hacked into her bank account. gotcha” 

isnt that like. illegal 

she didn’t actually hack into the account, greta left it logged in (even though. most bank sites log you out automatically after a while im pretty sure, but whatever) but isn’t it still illegal to go searching through someone’s laptop and personal finance accounts without their knowledge or permission. even if they are a fashion villain. like greta’s Mean but she hasn’t done anything illegal 

hold up why the fuck is this girl on my makeover list she clearly doesn’t need me 

can she give ME a makeover. look at her she’s gorgeous. she has everything figured out what more can i possibly do 

if i have to ruin her gothic theater and turn her “”normal”” im going to actually cry i really want to play this one bc i want to meet her so bad but im also so, so afraid 

like so far it hasn’t been “everything you like sucks we’re going to Improve You” its been like. ok the guy in the basement with the designer concrete was a car mechanic who Wanted to learn how to take better care of himself/his appearance but didn’t know how, and wanted to look good for his wife but needed help, and he already has a professional garage and all this stuff so it was like ok he loves coffee and cars lets help him make his garage into a little coffee lounge with car posters and stuff so he can actually relax at home and not think about work so much 

so it was “what would help improve this person’s quality of life and give them more confidence/lets use the things they love” so i cant imagine they’d just be destroying everything this girl loves??

also id just like to point out the horrible eye slime dress is one of my own personal wardrobe items that i bought because i love and hate it. why am i allowed to have the eye slime dress and she’s not allowed to have her vastly superior victorian goth look here 

anyway my theory that maybe if i finally play this game it’ll stop following me everywhere with these horrible ads was a failure. im still getting these and i still hate them even though the game itself seems to be mostly pretty alright 

i still think homescapes is the superior match 3 game of all the ones ive played but this one’s at least alright. they dont give you nearly enough powerups though its rly frustrating when you get stuck and i refuse to spend actual money on this, so 

[tired-toby]

it's been nearly a year since my first suicide attempt, since the worst summer of my fucking life that i STILL CANT REMEMBER.

and i feel like i've gone nowhere

i'm still the same piece of shit who couldn't even acknowledge the people she hurt, who still tries to victimize herself when she's anything but the victim, who is wasting the time of everyone around her

i know all this. i know these flaws. i'm self-aware and that makes it worse because despite everything i do i feel like i haven't gotten any better, like i haven't improved at all and if anything i've just sunk deeper into this pit

and it's not like i haven't had people reach out!

my math teacher has kept up with me the WHOLE YEAR yet time and time again i let myself fall short.

i want to be better. i need to be better, for the people that are here now and for those that i've hurt in the past.

for my guinea pigs. for my rats. for my dogs. for everyone.

yet here i am just fucking wallowing, crying on an empty blog that no one will read or give a shit about because it's just me.

i graduate soon. well. i /might/ graduate soon

god

i've fallen so far.

my friends are going to harvard, to mit. i feel like i'm just going to a shallow grave.

i wish things were easy, that i could take a few pills and just be /better./ i want to stop feeling this way, i just want to feel better. i've changed my ways! i only drink water, i eat healthier, i walk my dogs for two hours every day, i've taken up new and old hobbies. but i still fall into slumps, i feel like i am a slump.

i've barely told anyone but i haven't felt like myself in weeks and i'm so fucking scared. i feel like i don't know who i am anymore and the coping mechanisms that i've used to try and feel like myself aren't working like they used to. i feel like im fragmented and being pulled apart at the seams. maybe i'm giving myself too much credit

a overfilled trash bag thats splitting and spilling nothing but garbage

that's better.

i'm just overdramatic

i'm just tired

i even have a healthy sleep schedule, did i mention that? in bed by 10, up by 7. i walk my sister to the bus stop almost everyday.

i thought i did everything right. why doesn't it work why aren't i better why am i still the same asshole why am i no one why am i nothing why can't i just be better why am i not fucking dead

55 days until i'm 18

54 until the night i became the world's greatest failure

what kind of idiot fails to kill themself? twice, at that?

i feel like i'm faking this. i read these words i type and i cry and if eel like im faking it. that i'm doing it for attention. i'm manipulative, i lie to emotionally abuse people

i know this and i'm probably doing it now

seems like something i'd do

my mom says my laptop will be back soon, finally repaired. i don't think i mentioned it here but the harddrive broke and i lost everything

stories. hundreds of thousands of words and i WISH that was an exaggeration

my fucking POKEMON. ALL MY GODDAMN POKEMON!!! I BEAT SOUL SILVER WITH JUST AN AMPHAROS AND ITS FUCKING GONE. MARILYN IM SORRY. NOT TO MENTION ALL MY OTHER SAVES

all my art. all those sketches. i've barely drawn since, nothing feels right anymore. not like i know where my art tablet is anyway :/ that's just

gone

everything's gone

once i have a laptop again, i think i'll be happier. i hope i'm happier. my life is there, my happiness is there. it's not healthy to stare at a screen for who knows how many hours of a day but it makes me happy

i want to have fun with graey again. the weeks we'd spend just playing minecraft and stardew and we haven't been able to do anything because i'm just on my phone and a shitty school laptop that can't even run google and word at the same time

i don't know what i'm going to do. this whole thing is a mess, just so much bullshit. and it's barely the tip of the iceberg

i didn't even mention how my dad found another rope in my brother's room. part of me hopes it's not what i think it is and some part of how i once opened his girlfriend's snapchat and found him listed as daddy

fucking discord moderator lookin' ass. it's the trauma innit

i'm doing dnd again. it's not full campaigns, just one-shots with the sewer rats every other weekend or so where i dm and they can have fun.

i like making them happy

i love all of them. they're my family. caesar, crypt, xeno, cat, moe, roo, blink, cig, fox, graey, even fed and ag. if it weren't for you guys, i'd be nothing. i'd be gone.

caesar, you've been with me through everything. i wouldn't be here if you weren't there for me. i'm glad we're getting close again, i've missed your company

i'm glad i'm the one you tag when you see if anyone wants to watch u stream :)

crypt, for all the shit i give you i love you. when are we going to finish mamma mia together u rat ass bitch

xeno u are one of the funniest motherfuckers i've met, even if u are a literal fetus. whenever i see u join vc im always so fucking hyped

cat why r u so fucking racist. when r we gonna play phasmo

moe stop touching kids.

roo i am not gonna lie sometimes u feel like my mom i s2g granted u are geriatric so maybe that makes u my grandma. point still stands, also when r we gonna plot wren and dhova i want my twink-turned-twunk

blink i still need to dm u back give me a sec.

cig u are also a fetus but u are one of my FAVORITE people to brainstorm and plot with. UR BRAIN IS SO WRINKLY AND UR ALWAYS SO RESPONSIVE IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!

fox. ANOTHER FETUS. but also an amazing dm and just?? ur so creative. U ARE SO CREATIVE. UR CHARACTER DESIGN. UR ART SKILLS. ur so underappreciated?

graey when r we having the dildo battle. i will come to alaska and live in a shack in the woods with ur nasty unshowering ass if it means i get to punch u in the face irl and laugh abt the usual bullshit with you.

fed stop being british it's literally so gross idk how u do it. if u stop being british i'll stop bullying u abt ur terrible typing skills

ag u are just. cool. like if i had to pin someone as like the 'cool/chill' person of the sewers it would 100% be u i am ngl. play roblox cats with me u fucking coward

enough of being sappy. they need to stop accusing me of being a lesbian I AM NOT A LESBIAN

ok

im happy again

thinking about them makes me happy

in other news celestial bodies by ghost data is a nice song

[fairycosmos]

I just feel so ugly and I can’t stand it but at the same time I feel pretty ? It’s exhausting this going back and forth. Like I can’t stop freaking out about what to wear and I’m just so scared. Idk if this stepping over the line but I just really need someone . 💖

hey i’m so sorry to hear that love 😞 it’s not stepping over the line dw. reading this just breaks my heart and also makes me feel so Seen, i can’t tell you how much i relate. it’s awful that we’re made to feel so bad about simply existing god :/ i think it’s important to remember that these feelings of self loathing are planted in our brains before we’re even old enough to know what it means to love ourselves, so it’s no surprise that you feel this way. it’s ok to sit with the pain, to cry if you need to, to let it hurt. it’s ok if you need to let it go over and over again before you truly let it go for good.  feeling okay in your body is a lifelong task for most people, it doesn’t have to happen instantaneously. it’s normal for it to be a process, and to feel like it’s a pointless endeavor at times. but it never actually is, and living your life in spite of this insecurity is an act of defiance you should always try to practice. you literally dont have anything to prove to anyone. you’re not here on this earth to be as pretty as possible 24/7 - a. because you’re so much more than that and b. because beauty is completely subjective, it’s impossible to please the whole world and you truly dont even have to try to. there are a few affirmations i like to remember to help make this all seem a bit easier. the first is the whole capitalist thing. i say it a lot but honestly we’re taught to despise ourselves and to feel like we constantly need to improve from such a young age simply because it’s how they make money off of us, and cause the world is sexist as fuck. they make us hate the way we look not because there’s actually anything wrong with us, but because they can profit off of it. the second is the whole mental illness thing. it really sounds like your anxiety is amplifying this situation and making it seem like a bigger deal than it is. it’s forcing you to think that the whole world sees you the way you see yourself when that’s not true at all. try to ground yourself in rationality and not emotion when possible. generally speaking nobody is judging you with the same level of disgust that you’re using to judge yourself - everyone is far too worried about themselves and about how they’re coming across, really. i think trying to recenter your attention on the fact that your friends want to see you, that you deserve to go out and have fun, that your looks are the last thing anyone other than you is thinking about etc could bring you some peace of mind. even if it’s hard to believe at first. another point i like to remember is that the people who love/care for us see us as beautiful beings regardless of conventional beauty standards. when you have a strong bond with someone, don’t you think their looks sort of melt away anyway? don’t you think their beauty is in their familiarity and what they offer to your life and the love/memories/laughter you share? you ARE that presence for so many ppl already, even if you cant see it. you can understand all of this on a logical level and still feel bad when you look in the mirror, god knows i do. but the point is to keep trying to live on your own terms, as you are. because theres no wrong way to inhabit a body, to exist. alright? but if this is smth that is continuing to get worse i’d recommend talking to someone about it - your doctor, a counselor/therapist, a support group, a hotline - the options are endless and there’s bound to be one that works for you. i know it’s a bit of a scary idea but there is so much that can be done from a professional standpoint when it comes to self esteem, in terms of behavioral therapy and confidence building techniques and even just having someone to talk to. please don’t write the suggestion off even if it’s a bit too much rn, you can always put a pin in it for later. but know that it is entirely possible to get to a more comfortable state of mind and to break this exhausting cycle. with time, effort and natural self growth. if you want to start with searching from more general self help and healthy coping mechanisms, then that’d be great too. but my point is taking a proactive role in how you view yourself, instead of a passive one, can make a big difference! ANYWAY im sorry this got so long i just lit rally cant shut up.....i hope you go and have a lovely time. everything else is background noise. if you need a friend or someone to talk to, feel free to hit me up anytime. sending love to you x

[nyarisu]

Völkerball liveblogging

Dear lord this took me so long to edit you better appreciate it

Reise reise

Oooo~ but I still like the Hellfest version more :)) (Till’s face during the Hellfest chorus will always be my sexuality)

Schneider’s costume is fabulous but I’ll never trust those curls

Also vampire Reesh that’s a good look

Asdfghjklthe vagina entrance XDDD they really had to

Hello nice legs

I’ve watched this only once because i don’t like the sound. Someone said Till was sick and I don’t know what actually happened but his voice kinda sounds like it, especially more towards the middle of the live.

But the chorus is still so nice~

The tongue via Till’s fucked up slut face

Olli’s really serious

"Ist kein Licht am Horizont" REESH DO YOU WANNA KILL ME?? That was one sexy face

I really love Till’s expressions i want to kiss his face

The eyes! And then looking up to the sky<3 (was there even a sky or was inside I didn’t even notice XD)

I really don’t like Paul and Flake’s costumes

Fucking god that entrance is craking me up

Links 234

Hei hei hei!

I love how they all march on the stage

Bwhbwbwhwbhwbwhw XD

That’s a nice middle to wrap your hands around, mr Lindemann

I love when he’s hittig his chest on “links”

THE FANGS

Paul means business XD

You can’t not sing with them during links

Oh the solo<3 sounds so nice live

Thank god my favourite person from this stupid band is also the one most filmes otherwise I would’ve been in trouble

Dem boobs XD

Keine lust

I thought it was Sonne for one sec

He kicked the mic stand XD

Now you can hear he’s a little raspy

Yes Till we know the lyrics’ meaning and also that you’re horny

The chorus sounds nice again, it sounds better when he’s actually siniging vs talking

Who’s foamning at the mouth over that patch of skin under his pants, I’ve seen people talk about that (unfortunately it’s doing nothing for me)

"kaaaalt. Soo kaaaalt" I’ll keep you warm bby just don’t be sad T_T

Ok but Flake’s headpiece is actually hilariuous gotta admit

I really want to kiss Till *opening his mouth like a retarded owl* I don’t think I want anymore

Feuer frei

That was his I’m ready to slut pose XD

DONT HIT YOURSELF YOU DUMB BABY

Ooooooh Olli got shirtless (what were they calling this?)

I really like RZK’s top

Of course he’s gotta bully Flake

Chumby

I’m really trying to focus more on image but the voice is such a big thing for me and it’s clear he has something

The masks!! I love those so much

„Jaaaa”

Wow Schneider’s drumsticks went out with a literal bang

Asche zu Asche

4 lines later I finally realised what song is >.< and only because Till began to sing...

DID YOU SEE WHAT HE WAS DOING WITH THOSE DRUMSTICKS?!? I knew why I had a thing for hands/fingers

Asdfghjkl Richard strutting down the stage with his little red stripe<3

He’s a moody goth and I love his look did he just put his hands on his hips? XD

Till’s cheeks! I want to pinch his face

Everyone’s favourite part and THE NECK TILT ok wow now that was hot

Tho I usually preffer the “In zehn Tagen” to RZK’s “Ich komm wieder” now it was the opposite (probably because I couldn’t see Till that well) and Reesh acting all sexy was definitely improving it

Go Flake go XD he’s so serious and by the end he’s having the time of his life meanwhile Till is having an existential crisis (another)

Olli’s abs are heeeeella nice

Till with his hand over his heart didn’t help his case

Yeah Richard ok you’re sexy i get it holly fuck I’ve never been more attracted to him

And now i’ll never be able to unsee the neck tilt

That ich kom wieder just unmade me

Morgenstern

Bath time XD

I really like when Till slicks his hair back

Dear lord the chorus thank you for your voice sir and congrats on it

I really like the general image of a bassist playing their bass (other verb I could’ve used was fingering XD that’s literally what he’s doing!!)

Ooooh the keyboards sound so nice<3

DON’T pluck your eyes out!

The fire part is really impressive

I love then Richard is doign his gay boy pose XD and then the closeup on him while bobbing his head

I need to say once again the chorus sounds wundershon

Mein Teil

The first 2 seconds I thought it was MHB

Paul and Richard walking towards each other<3

Aaaand the epicness begins!

Schneider is fabulous behind his drums, can’t forget about him

YEET

The tongue’s is at it again

FLAKE POPING UP WITH THAT SMILE CRACKED ME UP you demented human

People are rocking the hell out this song

“durch Engelsscharen” Till’s expression<3

And the maddnes begins. Wow it was shorter than usual... obviously, it was at the beginning

Flake has such a special style of running I can’t XD

Stein um Stein

And everyone is gonna talk about him drawing a house xD it was cute (considering what the song is about)

You’re being a slut again

Aaaaah I want to complain about the playback but I really can’t I rather prefer him with vocal cords. At least the rest of the song sounded excelent!

The little sound at the end of „sein” and his face: childish enjoyment while talking about fucked up shit. If this doesn’t perfectly summarize Till then I don’t know what does

Schenider’s smile

No but really beside the screeching parts he sung it so well!

Were they trying to film Richards crotch? Whatever he’s sexy

Another reason why I watch this only once before was me being kind of meh regarding Till’s look he’s my favourite after all I gotta act the part

Los

My fucking god Scheider’s legs! I fucking love thighs. And he has a nice ass too

Richard’s smile!! Don’t kill me

Is it me or does Till start to stare into space and look generally Not Ok (tm)?

„fucking mickey mouse” XDDD

Los is among the last 10 songs on my list I usually just skip it

I died when I saw him with a harmonica the first time

Flake and Olli XD

Don’t manhandle poor Flake (I really want to say I wish that were me but knowing myself I would probably just deck Till in the face XD)

The sunglasses are sick

RZK and Till headbaning<3

Rip (rest in pieces) to keyboard

Du riechts so gut

THE BOW! The cute flamingo pose aside, that bow is one of my favourite pyro effects ever

And then the synchronised bodybanging<3

That „pang” never sounded so good?

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN MENTIONED THE NECK TILT REESH IS SO SEXY HERE I CAN’T EVEN

The deepest he sings the lees you hear the raspiness

Lord! The whole audience just fucking went for it

Schneider’s muscles, Richard’s little smirk and Till zombie 2.0

Even more bodybanging. Flake is enjoying himself

WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU SO PRETTY?!? (me to Richard)

Flake casually going back to his keyboards uthgjkhfzc that looked so cool and smooth

I promise I still drool over Till just... Richard is so prettily standing there! I cant ignore him!

The firesleeves are so cool and it looks so good, especially with them facing different ways

And freeze! Nice and dramatic

Till hammer time

That one guy really feeling the „DRSG” in the audience XD

Benzine

3 consecutive thought: it is Benzine fuck yeah, I can never tell if it’s Benzine or Keine Lust, Till’s terrified face

The most Rammstein song to ever Rammstein

Paul going wild XD but I still don’t like his hat

Flake is spazzing again

Du hast

Thank god I’m actually enjoying this song now, I skipped it for half a year

The drums and the beginning and the keyboards are <3

The tongue >w<

People are going wild

I like Richard’s dramatic gesturing. Pretty rockstar boy

The chorus sounds so good

Flake what is that on your head? XD is he a One Piece character?

Did he just casually shoved the mic into his pocket? XD

I much more preffer the newest effect from Paris onwards (which is also my top favourite)

Sehnsucht

This song has a very special and unique feel to it probably because it screams Live aus Berlin more than any other (and now I feel like watching LAB again)

It’s the chanting in the background probably

He’s sounding sick again :(

You have muscles in the arms (and probably legs too) and chumby in the belly it’s perfect

Lol @ Paul trying to look scary

„SEHNSUCHT!”

Ok Richard honey you can stop with the sexy neck tilt

He’s slapping the hell out of his guitar

Please stop pulling your hair out

Amerika

@Flake on that thing: wierd flex but ok

Sexy fishnet legs

Wow that’s a really soft and nice opening, pretty unexpected

LOL Flake taking off his hat like „sorry for your loss” but considering the song it’s expected from him XD

Beauatiful eyes<3

He’s just nyooming from one side of the stage to the other? XD

That eyeliner looks so fucking good on Till

Flake is suffering :)) (what the fuck was I talking about I can’t remember now that I’m editing)

Even Richard’s hair looks pretty! What the fuck??

The last scene with Schneider (and then his legs)

Rammstein

Those are some fucking guns he has right there

This is the most badass intrumental intro ever

“Scheeeeeein”

Oooooh so this is where that gif was coming from for some reason it thought it was Engel from MSG. Does this live even has Engel on it?

I love when drummers throw their sticks in the air and then catch them again

Ok the image of Till slowly backing off between Paul and Richard who were both vibing in their own way was really nice

Sonne

Schneider is enjoiying this isn’t he XD

For some reason this song doesn’t seem as energic as it usually is?

Was Till humping the mic stand? (more likely than you’d think)

Seing Flake and Till doing the hammer side by side is really funny, that’s some size difference

Ich will

Bye bye mic stand again

Till baby what did you do with your throat to make your voice sound like that?

Richard looking to the side during „ich will” hhhhhHhh

Let me slap that ass Till

I want to lick your face

Ohne dich

Ollie what are you doing

Asdfhjkl Flake comforting Till and the way he just rests his head on Flake’s shoulder is breaking my heart

Poor baby come here and let me love you

You can clearly see he’s trerrified

Lsnhxkvj his eyes<3

Nawwww they are kissing

I am silently thristing over Till don’t mind me

Please don’t cry T_T and then him looking over his bangs sfdghjkl

„is he... ya know” pose with a hand in the air Heirate mich style (aka Till Lehmann is a sub)

Look I know he’s suffering and all but I really can’t focus on that with all the water dripping off him

Stripped

No wonder I didn’t recognised the song it doensn’t even exist to me XD

Till pointing like „you. drop your panties. now” XD

I had half a mind to skip it but then I would have missed Till’s wonderful tongue performance

Was he flicking it to the rythm??

Hearing him sing in english is always so weird (I only recently rediscovered the gem the Children of the Sun is)

Richard what was that sexy face?

Ollie is braving the human seas, telepathy at its finest XD

Hmm that is a really nice lower back

Gangsta XD „how do you do fellow kids”

Paul is enjoying the show

Schneider has killer looks. Literally XD

YEET

Conclusions:

Half of it went really slow and then the other half went really fast? I don’t understand what happened

So this is the setting for Mit Dir Bin Ich Auch Allein... ok, good to know ;)

You sure this was a good idea 4 songs in and I already wrote 2 pages, now the total is at 6.

I’m not particulary fond of the looks and Till sounds sick so I usually avoid this live. Also some songs are weird with the energy so yeah

Richard is so pretty I can’t (and fucking hot how come I don’t remeber this??)

[twentytwoyearoldchild]

The First Post

To be honest, I’m not expecting anybody to read these or actually find them, or even care. 

This is for me. Be it for the sake of journaling, therapy, word vomit, whatever. 

An opportunity to let go. 

I guess I’ll start from the top

Shit’s been weird as fuck; as it has been for a lot of people. It was my last day of uni forever the day we shut down for the first covid quarantine, my apartment lease was up in a few months, and I didn’t have a job anymore. I was fortunate enough to have extended family in the area with whom I could move in with after my lease was up. Fast forward a few months and I’m home again. 

I really thought I had overcome a lot of shit I was dealing with when I moved out after high school. I had a routine, it wasn’t always healthy but it got me through. But damn has it hit hard since I’ve been back at home. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, they’re good parents; they’ve grown a lot since I’ve been away. But there’s always something that doesn’t change. Or, it’s evolved in a weird way that’s not as bad but still like an “are you kidding me,” type of vibe. 

I can’t believe I’m still being so fucking vague, like no matter how hard I try I can’t just say it, fuck I cant even type it. 

How do I even streamline everything in my head. I’ve never thought about how I feel cause it makes me mad, and I don’t like being angry. I don’t like how it makes me feel. 

Why the fuck I have so many issues coming from a family that wasn’t terrible, just had it’s little quirks, beats me. 

My mom, I love her to bits, she works her ass off for us and I am eternally grateful for that. Our relationship hasn’t always been good, it only really improved until after I turned 19. We used to fight a lot. But not in the fist fighting sense. It was mostly me doing things she didn’t want me doing but I did any way so she just yelled at me all the time. She used to hit me and my siblings when we were kids. She never beat us until we turned blue, and it didn’t make her a bad mom when she would tell me to grab her heels instead of a belt. 

I have never talked about this memory, thought about this memory, it is one I like to keep locked away. I must have been 8, we had just recently moved the year before. I remember running upstairs, my mom was chasing me, yelling at me. Saying she was gonna beat me until I bled. I remember being cornered, screaming, crying, looking up at her, and that’s all I remember. That’s where the memory ends. My memories don’t pick up again until I was about 11 years old. 

I used to hate her for it, but I know now that she was just coping with her anger the only way she knew how, and I don’t blame her for it. It was normal for her, it was normal for us. 

Wow I feel like I went off track, but hey there’s your not so tragic backstory, just a kid with a mom who had anger issues sometimes. UGH man I hate talking about this. Cause I know it could have been worse. I think that’s one of the reasons I have never talked about it, wrote about it, or anything, is cause it could have been worse. What point is there in telling someone if it doesn’t change anything. Like why the fuck am I so altered by a childhood that wasn’t even that bad. 

Anyway

Because of that we used to fight a lot. 

My mom is your typical girly girl, does her nails, and im not gonna lie she is very pretty. She takes good care of herself. 

I am very much the opposite. I got into alt-rock at an early age and fell in love with being all angsty. I cut my hair off, wore baggy band tees, black skinny jeans, and topped it off with my huge ass DC sneakers. I pierced my own ears a few times, pierced my friends ears. I tried piercing my LIP when I was 10, the needle only went in half way. That shit still makes me laugh. 

Basically, I looked like a little emo boy and I liked it. I liked the way people would avoid looking into my eyes, or would look away quickly, or called me sir. I think I liked it so much only because my mom hated it. 

She used to be very... vain? I mean low key still is, but whatever. Right about 10 years old is when I remember my mom making comments about my weight. I did sports in school, but it was never enough to stop my mom from telling me I was too heavy, or that I wasn’t sucking in my stomach enough. There were other things going on at home that I think snowballed it but that’s for another time.

I’ve never called it an eating disorder but I guess that’s what it was. What it is. It wasn’t debilitating, I never got underweight, I looked normal and healthy. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I stopped eating, I tried puking, I started binging. Not enough to cause attention, just enough to feel in control because I didn’t know how else to deal with everything going on. 

After I moved out, I thought I had moved past it. I really thought I was doing something, and getting buff, that was the goal: get ripped as fuck. I was going to the gym 6 days a week, for an hour or two, lifting weights. But I wasn’t eating. I had no idea I wasn’t eating, I was just busy. Always busy. 

I didn’t realize how much it affected me until last year. An acquaintance of mine asked me if I was “ok” because I was looking “really thin”. Never in my Life had I heard those words directed at me, ever. That shook me So Hard. 

I don’t want this to be a dunk on my mom, I love her so much, and she’s grown so much as a person and as a mother. I’ve forgiven her. Which is why this shit makes me so mad ‘cause it’s like, “I’ve forgiven her but why can’t I make it stop,”

TLDR;

Okay All of this to say: Im back home 

quarantine has definitely fucked up my weight, as it has for many others. but now being back at home with my mom telling me everyday 

wow ur getting fat

if u dont exercise youll get fat

I see your double chin you need to loose weight. 

like WHY is it fucking me up. why is my parents fighting and ignoring each other again still fucking me up. Why cant i sit down tune that shit out and just fucking work like i need to. Why cant i fucking eat. why is it so hard to just say “i need help but i dont know how”

It’s been a week and I have totally ignored everyone that’s been reaching out to me.

Why do I feel so guilty.

Man, I feel like such a whiny bitch baby. 

[ladylyra]

I adore your Pokémon gijinkas! In fact you inspired me to draw some of my team lol, but what I came here to ask is do you have any backstory/summary about your swsh team like the one you gave to another person about your bw nuzlocke teammates?

ill be honest i dont have super detailed backstories for them but i definitely have character summaries!

kyle: you could say his “thing” is that he is really dumb but he certainly means well. hes always trying to make other people happy and wants nothing more than to have fun! he’s always looking onto the bright side of things and what he lacks in planning/forethought he makes up for with strength. i think he trusts others a bit too much, accepting Mura’s word with little question. he doesn’t hold back anything that is on his mind. felix is like his dad and when fleur entered the team last he was the first to try to include her because she was so shy, didn’t catch on that she liked him until a...while later. missy is his childhood friend but heidi is his best friend! his ‘dumbness’ is mostly just his impulsive tendencies combined with his optimism/unwavering trust. he will remember anything you tell him.

felix: the ‘team dad’ as i have appointed him. he spent a lot of time reigning in kyle and missy when they were younger and rlly does love them. as missy has grown up they spend a lot of time together and have tea a lot. hes more like her mentor now, always giving her advice and teaching her things, stuff like that. he gets annoyed pretty easily but he doesn’t, like, snap. i will jokingly call him a boomer bc he is a bit older and doesn’t keep in with the times or trends, and he can usually count on heidi to try to tell him about things (he’ll just nod along so he doesnt discourage her but he still doesnt understand honestly) i imagined he was a bit of a rebel in his nickit days before he had to wise up with two BABIES around and here he is now.

missy: she has a pretty stoic and femme persona, generally well liked by most who look at her, but she can be very callous and brash if she feels close enough to you. she likes to shame mura for causing drama but really she can be just as bad, just that nobody ever suspects her of anything. she’s not shy to the caliber of fleur, more bold even if shes reserved in her speech. the ‘mature one’ of her and kyle when they grew up, but would just observe his nonsense rather than stop him (this changing eventually as they got older.) she takes after felix a bit from observing him and being partially raised by him, although being an adult now she wishes to be viewed more as an equal than as a kid (luckily, he does!) she and heidi have a close relationship; missy originally felt heidi was someone she could be her ‘true self’ with until she realized heidi was looking for someone she could drop the punk vibes around, so basically the complete opposite for the both of them. theres a happy medium in there somewhere.

mura: you basically know mura the moment you look at mura. he likes to cause trouble and be a general hindrance to normal life for anyone around him with few to no exceptions. felix hates him but hes too valuable a power to the team to ever make leave. one of his favorite hobbies is telling kyle false facts that he will then spread. theres little that can bother him, besides heidi. they both have the incredible skill of being the only people that can trouble the other. it’s kind of a love/hate relationship and a months long game that neither will give up on. the only person he cant fool is missy and the only person he wont try to mess with is fleur because despite his love of antagonizing others, theres no real joy in making someone cry (at least not fleur.) he likes to act like hes bothered by her friendliness toward him but its kind of...nice. it makes him ALMOST feel bad he messes with kyle daily.

heidi: kind of what you’d expect of a toxtricity; punk rock, loves loud noise, always trying to have fun (like kyle! they became fast friends.) the only difference is that she really isn’t all this. she feels kind of embarrassed that she can be just as traditionally ‘girly’ despite her aesthetic, and isn’t as forthcoming with these traits. she hides her love of cute things and is sad that fleur seems to be scared of her at times (they’re working on it.) and as of now missy is the only one she can be slightly open with. her back and forth relationship with mura is of note, and while it does involve a lot of teasing, i think by this point there is some understanding that there’s more than that. they work incredibly well together in battle and when times get tough they would consider eachother allies. there’s some very evident flirting at times, but neither are into something serious. heidi seems to attract admirers wherever she goes (to which she happily accepts them.)

fleur: oh fleur. just a little baby. she was the last to join the team and found it very hard to find a place for herself, so she opted for not merging at all. she mostly just admired the synergy of everyone else and kept to herself. it wasn’t like she didn’t want to find friends, but she could never push herself into the spotlight. one individual she admired as well as began crushing on rather severely was kyle; i jokingly call her a morosexual but really she really values his optimism and spirit, since she lacks both of those things, in her opinion. for a while all she did was kind of observe him from afar because she didn’t know how to approach him, but he eventually caught on and began including her himself. it’s a bit overwhelming at times, but he did help her a lot in blending in better with the team--now its kind of like hes the one observing her, making sure she’s comfortable and alright. heidi tried a similar approach and being friendly with her, but fleur is admittedly intimidated by heidi much to the girl’s disappointment. she’s warming up to mura, using what little optimism she’s learning to have to help improve her relationships. missy and her get along pretty well; missy is trying to get her out of her shell by slowly but surely sharing her troublemaking tendencies with her.

[sonicpositive]

What do you think of Sonic X's characterizations?

(Guess who’s going through old asks again!)

I may be biased considering it was my introduction to the series, but I honestly think it contained one of the best portrayals of almost every Sonic character. Sonic X’s Tails, Amy, and Knuckles, particularly, are my favorite versions of the characters and they are how I typically see them. I actually want to talk about them a bit!

Amy! I loved the two sides of her it showed: loving Sonic but still very capable, threatening, and able to hold her own. She had a temper, but was also the one to give advice and was always trying to do things for the group, like baking and going on fun trips. Nowadays she’s typically flattened to “Unrequited love for Sonic” or reduced to the stereotypical “girl” character, though it seems it’s getting better. If they added how they portray her now, which is more mature and level-headed, to how she was in Sonic X, she’d be a greatly well-rounded character!

When I think of Amy in Sonic X, I think of the scene of her standing outside Cream’s house while Eggman, in one of his giant ships, was egging her on (lolol) about Sonic not coming back. She just kept getting angrier and angrier and kept throwing hammers at the ship. A good mix of her love for Sonic and fighting spirit!

Tails! I’m a sucker for the brotherly bond between him and Sonic tbh! He was just cute and innocent while also being incredibly smart, but still able to get into trouble from time to time. He also held his own with his machines, and he often created inventions that got them out of a jam! But he wasn’t always the deus ex machina, he needed help a lot too, but not so much that he was the kid always in need of saving. He could also be very independent, with a healthy bond/reliance on Sonic that gave him the confidence to act on his own. I think a lot of people forget about the fact that Tails’s whole story arc in Adventure was about him becoming independent, and Sonic X stayed consistent with that.

I can’t help but think of the scene at the end of the Metarex saga in which he’s crying into Sonic’s chest (which broke my heart, hug him back!!) but also any time he was fighting in the X Tornado!

Knuckles! He actually guarded the Master Emerald throughout most of the series! But he was still hilariously gullible and hot tempered to the point where it landed him in a lot of hot water. I love how he wasn’t all buddy-buddy with everyone. Especially Sonic. Their fights and quips toward each other were very entertaining, but he also respected them and fought for them when he could! I love literally everything about Sonic X’s Knuckles, I cant really break it down!

Scenes I think of when I think of Knuckles? Pretty much the entire episode in the first season of him fighting Sonic because he thought he was working with Eggman. And him powering the Master Emerald in the Metarex saga!

Some others:

Shadow! There needed to be more of him lol. He would just disappear for half a season and you almost never saw him. But! Holy heck is the Ultimate Lifeform ever true. He’s so intimidating and powerful. I always think of when he infiltrated the Blue Typhoon in the Metarex saga and how hard everyone was fighting just to keep him at bay. It was very, very rare you ever saw his tough exterior break, but then you have the flashbacks with Maria or the episode of him helping the redheaded girl, Molly, win against a fleet of Metarex. It was that portrayal of him that made him one of my favorite characters in the Sonic series, aside from Sonic himself.

And finally, SONIC! Literally everything is perfect. The way Sonic X portrays him is everything Sonic SHOULD be. I could rave about this for hours. He’s super cocky, loves making jokes, poking fun at his friends (like Knuckles,) is kind of his own comic relief, but ALSO super sweet. Like, though he doesn’t often voice how much he cares, it’s the little things. He got flowers for Cream to make her flower crowns. He took Helen, the girl in the wheelchair, to see the flowers she always wanted to see. He fixed and wore the shell bracelet Amy made for him. He retrieved Shadow’s inhibitor rings after they stopped the ARC. He got Cosmo’s seeds for Tails to plant. A lot of these were amidst some very serious battles, so the fact that he took time out of the battle to do these little things says a LOT. Speaking of battles, he can be super serious, focused, and tough when he needs to be. He’s able to switch gears on a dime, from cracking jokes to kicking ass. Plus, his resilience and determination. The fight at the end of season 1 always gives me chills. And despite the cool hero exterior he gives off, you get to see what’s underneath: a softie. Someone who deeply cares about his friends and would give up his life for them. To the point where he is crying on his final run with Chris. To the point where he brutally destroyed a ton of robots and could have easily slipped into harming living things as Dark Sonic, all because he saw his friends hurt. And, despite his debilitating fear of water, when it came down to it and there was no choice, he’d fight through whatever anxiety he’s experiencing to fight on, in, and around water to help his friends. The only way his character could improve is by using his words as well as actions to let his friends know how he feels. Actually talking to Amy about their friendship/relationship instead of leading her on, for example. Giving Tails the hug he needed when mourning a friend. Letting that sincerity show a little more. But even then, that’s a part of his character. A coping mechanism. Something deeper than just a personality trait. The fact that Sonic X consistently shows everything Sonic was meant to be is why this is one of, if not my most favorite renditions of Sonic. (That and Sonic Unleashed.)

If you haven’t seen Sonic X yet, I highly, HIGHLY recommend it. It’s all on YouTube. After this, I’m probably going to rewatch it because I forgot how good it is. It IS for kids so it can be a bit childish, and a lot of the animation hasn’t aged well, but it’s so worth it. If you have seen it, rewatch it! There may be things you missed!