#and i cant lie to anyone here anymore

[obnoxiousarcade]

I have a longing to be understood more than anything else i think

[backspacingmyself]

13/03/2024, 05.04

Another Ramadan where I'm still at home

[crush-like-that]

i just cried for an hour over my homework now i fell liek throwing up

[solbaby7]

If ur still taking requests can i ask for azriel x reader. Where reader and Az are newish friends. One day Elain asks reader for help on how to please a man (I imagine elain always on her back 🤷‍♀️). Reader asks elain if its to show Az and elain just blushes sweetly saying "maybe". Reader being a girls girl shows elain how to be ontop and how to do other favors like if they were besties. ( idk if uve seen game of thrones but a girl shows khalessi how to ride khal drogo. The girl straight up straddles her with clothes on of course, And shows her. I have it in my head that while reader straddles elain Az walks in and is like 😮😮). Readers a bit jealous cuz she has a mini crush on azriel but doesnt show it. She sees elain with some hickies and what not and she decides she cant be around Az anymore (hurts too much blah idk lol). Az is like wtf! Turns out that Elain was asking for sexy help for lucien!!! Doesnt have to be detailed smutty at all, whatever ur comfortable with is cool with me. Oh btw i so so loved that possessive toxic azriel fic u posted the other day. 🫠🫠🫠 🥵🥵🥵

I love love love love love this idea! So happy you requested it🤍💗

—

Teach Me

azriel x reader

[ part 2 ]

“Well—can you help me with that?” A furious blush fans across Elain’s cheeks, eyes wide and hands fumbling at her sides. Dainty fingers dig into the intricate lace detailing of her dress, nails raking over the pattern in attempts to calm the racing of her heart.

“You want to know how to please a male,” You repeat gently, slightly shocked after she’d timidly slipped into your bedroom with flushed cheeks and sweaty palms. It took Elain ten whole minutes to reign in her rambling until she’d finally blurted it out. “Anyone in particular?” She doesn’t meet your eye, shifting her weight from foot to foot and your stomach rolls at the turn your mind takes. Elain had been spending a lot of time around Azriel; afternoons spent tending to the garden and evenings were blocked off to trail behind as she baked some new sweet treat. “Az, maybe?”

“Maybe,” Elain mutters softly, subtly taking in the contents of your room. The pictures propped against your side table and the endless jars and creams stacked neatly on your vanity. “Can you please teach me?”

Pushing side your curiosity, you offer an encouraging smile, patting at the spot beside you on the bed. “Come here.” The first step is hesitant and so is the one that follows but Elain still finds herself following the gentle command and complying even further when you urge her to lie back. You can feel her thighs shake when you swing a leg over to straddle them but the trembling subsides when you adjust her hair and straighten out her dress. “Sex is like a dance.”

Immediately, she’s hooked, hanging onto every word as if you were the Mother herself coming down for a personal visit. Briefly, Elain’s gaze flicks to the door, shoulders relaxing when noting its shut and locked; curtains drawn and the fireplace crackled with life. The smell of you is everywhere. Something light yet memorable, soft and elegant, classic and slightly sweet—soothing in every way. “A dance?”

“It starts off slow,” You begin, a sliver of your abdomen exposed in your Night Court attire. A breathable onyx top that seemed to wrap around your chest like a bandage, blending into a lighter material that was slightly see-through. “Lingering glances from across the room, the heat of feeling his eyes watching you long after you’ve looked away.” Her confusion is palpable in her furrowed brows and slight pout. “Love always begins in the eyes—I’ve heard of women who’ve finished males with nothing more than their gaze alone.”

“Finished?” Your brow raises, a teasing smirk accompanying it and the implication alone has Elain’s cheeks rosy once more. “Oh, gods. I don’t think I’m capable of anything like that.”

Your fingers trace along the length of her bare arms, holding her hands and guiding them to the sides of her head as you hover, voice low. “You are a woman. You’re capable of anything.”

Elain swallows thickly, taking in the words as if it were the first time she truly wanted to believe them. “What if he doesn’t like it? Like me or the fact that I’m not very experienced.”

“They don’t care about if you have experience or not. They simply desire what they’ve never had.” She hangs onto every word, analyzing the way you guide her through the motions of what she’d do. Talking her through the scenarios on how she’d touch; when to kiss and gently tug at hair. Eventually the blushing becomes less frequent, Elain’s eyes fluttering closed as she visualized it, working through the new feelings that brewed at the thought of being able to use such teachings.

“And they like that? Us on top?”

“If you like it then they’ll love it.” You rest her hands at your waist, demonstrating the sensual rocking of hips going back and forth. “Fae males are not like the human men you were accustomed to—all sweet and gentle. Fae’s fuck. They take control,” You’re still above her, watching as her thoughts race a mile a minute, thick lashes fluttering before she moves in a flurry. Quickly the position is changed and while it’s a little sloppy, Elain was obviously paying attention as she hooks her leg over your thighs the same way you had hers. “Good job—exactly like that.”

She lets out a laugh, seemingly surprised in her own actions but the thrill of it all is evident across ethereal features. “My heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest.”

“Breathe through it and always remember that no matter how highly you think of him in your mind, no matter how highly others think of him—in that room, he belongs to you. There for you to do as you please and if you’re ever uncomfortable you can always say no. You can always stop no matter how far you’ve gotten.”

Elain nods in understanding, dainty fingers barely gripping at your wrists. “Thank you for this. I don’t know what I’d do if—just, thank you.”

She lingers a tad longer, following every instruction you give and just as you’re about to correct her, your door creaks open. A familiar voice calls out your name, shadows slinking across the wallpaper but they freeze once they take you in—sprawled out against the bed with Elain straddling you, hands pinned by your head.

“We were just—“ Elain scrambles off of you, cheek and chest a furious red as her mouth opens and closes; unable to come up with a reasonable explanation before she’s sliding past Azriel and rushing down the hallway.

“Most people knock.”

But Az wasn’t most people. You’d been friends for years and long since had he forgone the formality of knocking before entering. He hasn’t moved an inch, still donning his fighting leathers and surely he must’ve just rushed in from flying because his hair was a fucking mess. Inky strands lay messily atop his head, flopping over his forehead and teasing the thick of his brows. “What was that?” A finger points in the direction Elain had just disappeared off too and you’re unable to explain why such anger swells in your gut—all too aware of the fact that another female would be using your moves on him.

Seducing him in a manor that belonged to you but would never actually be you.

“Just wait a little, I’m sure it’ll make sense soon.” Confusion sweeps over the angles of his face at the vagueness of your words, skewing the corners of his mouth and you have to physically tear your eyes away before you did something stupid. Like, kiss him. You suck in a sharp breath, a hand curling around the doorknob. “You should get to bed, Az. It’s late.”

You can’t bear to see the look on his face when you close the door on him but it was for the best. It was one thing crushing on him while knowing he wanted another. But it was more complicated now, teaching the object of all his desires exactly what to do to him—how to please him and draw out the sounds you’d been dreaming about for decades.

You flop down on your bed, nose scrunching at the lingering smell of Elain on your pillows.

Sleep doesn’t grace you with her presence that night, instead offering a series of scenarios of what could be happening a few hallways down.

Elain’s back two days later, a goofy grin spread across her cheeks and a line of hickeys branding the side of her neck in a way that makes your stomach turn. It takes everything in you to hide the jealously, to smooth over the embarrassment of ever possibly thinking that Azriel would go for you when he had a blushing Archeron hanging off his arm. “I take it that it went well.”

“More than well,” Elain confessed, dressed in a pale shade of green with ivy’s laced into the thin sleeves. “It was perfect—everything was perfect thanks to you.” She continues on, divulging naughty details and devastating descriptions of Azriel’s fingers grazing at bare skin, the tickle of his hair against her cheek, the warmth radiating from his body when the nights chill became too much. “I’d always heard whispers about the males of Autumn but you guys really weren’t joking,” Your head tilts to the side at that certain detail, brow quirking and your spoon halts its swirling about the teacup. “Fire really does run through their veins.”

“Autumn males?” Your hair flicks behind your shoulder with the wild way you turn to face her, arms crossed loosely over your chest. “You were with Lucien last night?”

Elain nods with a knowing smile growing at the corner of full lips, the tulle of her dress shifting obnoxiously when she takes a seat on your bed.

“I guess I just assumed you’d be with Azriel.”

“Not quite my type,” She replies wistfully, gaze far away as if she were reminiscing on the night before and the male involved. “He’s yours though,” It’s not a question but a statement, thrown out there as if it were a known fact amongst others and you were the last to be let in. “—you like him.”

The teacup pressed to your lips muffles the words but Elain still understands perfectly clear. “”He’s my friend.”

“Friends don’t really look at friends the way he looks at you.” You swallow audibly, attempting to hide your interest and yet it’s the quick flick of your eyes that gives you away. “It’s exactly as you said the other night,” Elain raises from the bed, a gentle hand trailing up your arm the same way you’d done to her. “Love always begins in the eyes. Just look at him—really look at him and see what’s right in front of you.”

Your hands tremble in your lap and for the first time in a very long while, it was you that felt like the blushing virgin searching for answers and not knowing where to look. “I don’t think I’m capable of handling what I might find.”

“You are a woman,” Elain softly answers. “You’re capable of anything.”

[chocochococoffee]

I saw your post asking for cumplane prompts and I couldn't resist giving one:

Fusion au (ala steven universe) where SQQ and SQH can only fuse with one another because fusing with anyone else would reveal them as transmigrators

yayyy thanks for the ask! i did a fanfic for you. its short tho. iis doneeeee but i cant really link it since android tumblr is shit and aint letting me hyperlink. i hate it

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57639514

here

-----

Sometimes Shen Yuan felt that he was thrown inside a nightmare. Airplane called it a fanfic, but didn't call his bro out for being wrong. Gemstones here, alien attacks there, the world the System had for them wasn't Proud Immortal Demon Way anymore. 

Where to start, though? Oh, from the Very Start.

PIDW was meant to be a stallion xianxia. Cheap, easily sellable, you could add whatever bullshit and people would eat it with gusto because Magic Chinese Bullshit solved all problems, no matter what Cucumber would say against it. Now... whatever this world had instead was a mix of intergalactic/sci-fi with some touches of modified xianxia for whatever meaning cultivating could have in their now very touchable, colourful cores. What was this, Land of the Lustrous? Cang Qiong sect itself felt like a direct ripoff outta it. There was no buddhist father of the sects in their mountain though, just a lot of rowdy humanized stones polishing themselves to perfection. Sometimes they polished each other with dual cultivation. Airplane cackled madly when Shen Qingqiu had furiously mentioned it to him, skin dark green in embarrassment. No matter how edited, the core (haha, geddit?) was still the same.

For being a modified xianxia, now that their cores had become actual gems a lot of their training had become a lot more literal. Tangible, even. Airplane decided that it was easier than all the soul and aura bullshit he had written eons ago.

So yeah. Gems. Literal aliens running the whole mountain, training humans (it wasn't the case for every sect, though) and other gems for polishing into immortality. Of course the head figures of every house would have to be gem people, most of them coming from pure lineages. According to some history books, gems had colonized their plane centuries ago. Something about the quality of the soil and the nice fauna.

Airplane had called bullshit on that, he knew it was because of the specialized porn.

Fusion they had called it, the process of becoming one with another gem, the act of purest feelings that would result in a better, stronger core. 

Fusion could also be done within humans, for some reason. He had guessed that the trace minerals inside the alien gems were very accepting of the chelating qualities of the organic complements in humans.

As a result, everyone wanted to fuse. Forget dual cultivation, it was the actual Goal of the gems. It was part of all sects training, it was a required step for perfection.

And everyone could fuse and de-fuse. They could do multiple fusions too! Fusion threesomes, foursomes, maybe more! 

"Do you really believe in that bullshit?" Shen Qingqiu had asked Airplane, now Shang Qinghua, while drinking, while lazing and acting unmannerly outside of every eye put on him. While relaxing in front of the only one who could see him really relax. "Is fusing really a step to happiness?? Today even my own students are asking me why I don't do fusions with anyone in Cang Qiong. They are asking me if I am broken."

Shang Qinghua knew from where those words came from. He had been the one who warned Shen Qingqiu of what fusing really meant.

He had done it once when younger, and he had broken his partner's mind.

They couldn't take all the information inside Airplane's mind and soul. Two lives were too much for a person, even more if they had the information of the world itself.

And yet...

"Not gonna lie to you bro, I do like the idea of fusing. Even Qingge has benefited of it - I believe that it can work miracles sometimes. Just... not with us. Fucking system doomed us sexless." He took a sip of his own baijiu. Tasty shit. 

"Fusionless."

"Whatever, it feels like sex."

Shen Qingqiu had known of his only experience. It had broken him to see that he was unable to participate on one of the best features that the PIDW fanfic they lived in had to offer.

"Your Only sex experience, you mean." 

"Whuh? You come here to call me out while drinking my wine? Pfwuh, you ungrateful child. At least I Have fused once, you are still a Green Sapling compared to Me"

"Well I AM green! And this is bullshit."

To follow the design, Cucumber was also a gem. It was an implicit requirement to be the head of a sect in Cang Qiong. He, though, was not what Shen Jiu had been. 

Everyone knew of the new Shen Qingqiu proud stone, a malachite that had grown from his chest in needles towards his shoulders and neck, a problem not only made his skin get greener shades whenever his emotions ran too strongly but also that required lots of tailoring attempts thus ending with sluttier clothes, making him shine through the hallways of the sects quite literally. He didn't really know how his core had evolved from an olivine to a malachite, their compositions were different, no? And Shang Qinghua had been the only one who knew of the peridot on Shen Jiu's chest, the knew he had guarded and hid all his life, a secret that not even Yue Qingyuan knew at all.

Bullshit world. Bullshit System restrictions also.

"But no, I didn't come here to 'call you out', you swine. I came here with a proposition"

"Whoa, this is new. Are you feeling too alone without Binghe, now?"

"Binghe has nothing to do with this! It... it is more about my. Our. Uh. Our mental health. I was thinking that maybe we could try fusing? We are two people in the same conditions and I thought that maybe the restrictions that affect others shouldn't affect us... wait, what is with that face??"

Qinghua sweated, the astonishment making him acquire an orange tone. "How many cups of baijiu did you drink?? I am not trying anything unless you are sober -- I am sure sober Cucumber wouldn't even try to touch me unless to hit me with your fa-- ouch!" He was hit with Qingqiu's fan.

"I am Not Drunk, Qinghua, I have just started my second cup. My opinion will not change, also, I am telling you -- agh, you are right, this may have something to do with Binghe after all. Today Mu Qingfan even tried to recommend me some fusing to Take my mind out of my Binghe's 'demise' and... you know, it has been one year since I had to thrown him into Jue Di Gorge... Medicines aren't making any effect right now and you heard me, I may be kind of desperate, though, If I am asking this to you so... can you try to listen to me once without being an ironic piece of shit??" 

And sure thing, all that sentence had been acidic as fuck but the pain clad under that was veridic.

For mental health huh... 

"Cucumber bro, you know how this means much more than just treatment, right?"

"I know"

"This also means you will have to understand me, within the fusing bonds and outside of them. You will have to treat me well if we are agreeing to it, even if its just to Try."

"Yeah I will... I am willing to try."

Airplane cackled. "Try?? God, you really are unromantic, you little shit. Go drink some water, let the alcohol flush away first. If I am going to try fusion sexing with you I will not do it with baijiu on the body."

"Hey, I am taller than you!!" But he obeyed his instruction without retaliation, and Airplane thought that may be a start.

When Airplane fused for the first and last time it had been with his roommate, a promising An Ding prospect which meant he was also a tired and hopeless kid with great abilities in math. He had been funny and ridiculous, and also a human. 

He was now six feet under and Airplane excelled in math as a memento of their last dance.

Now they had written their own goodbye letters to their peers and friends, if anything went wrong.

"The best way to start a fusion is by dancing."

"I know, there are many types of courtship dances and Qing Jing teaches more than twenty of them. In my last life I had two left feet and now look at me, master of dances I will never use."

"Oh, not even on me, bro?"

"If you are like me we wouldn't even sync if it isn't something from the modern world, our world."

True that, plus Airplane still had maintained his two left feet from his other life. An Ding never cared to teach them things as frivolous as that, confident on the innate abilities of their own students to learn on their own. Something that Qinghua had planned to change in a near future, of course all depending on how the Binghe domination trope went.

"Got any plans, Cucumber bro? I may have stayed in this world for too long, my mind is already a bit hazy..."

"Hmm. What about Caramelldansen?"

"HELL, NO"

"Gangnam Style?"

"You want us to fuck or to laugh until a heart attack!?"

"Language!"

"Meanie. Hmm, what about Let it Go?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"You know the choreography? I do."

"... of course you would"

It took them a few tries, and they didn't know the choreography as well as they had memed in their own original lives, but they, in time, learnt that the best way to fuse was when in sync with the other, and if it had meant them to be embraced to each other while laughing, it was enough.

"Shizun, what does this mean??"

If the whole of Cang Qiong had taken their reckless union and odd choice of partner with dismayed eyes and mean suspicion, Binghe had been on top if that mountain. Three years training in the underworld had felt like a millennia, and it may as well have been that amount of years considering that coming back may have meant that An Ding and Qing Jing had fused as their leaders had not only become an extremely stable gem, but also decided to keep fused longer and longer. Chrysocolla may have been an invention born two years ago, and may the citrine sparkles shine oddly on their black and green eyes, but the happiness they radiated may have been depicted in books as the bright blue-green colour that made their own robes and hair.

Even when separated they had changed each other, Shen Qingqiu's core turning into what looked more like Azurite, and Qinghua's secret Citrine core changing into various forms of Agate.

"Shizun, are you really happy this way?" Binghe had asked Shen Qingqiu while suddenly missing his green spikes. His new blue robes may not mix well with Qing Jing altogether but it couldn't that it was a beautiful colour.

"Mm, I may be? Now I know many things that I didn't before." He had smiled, finally satisfied. He now had all the information that even Qinghua had reprived to himself and the rest of the world in his mind, thing that became even more ckearer when together, and Qinghua had now someone who loved him and his inventions near. Qingqiu himself had learnt to love his real life inventions too, he could even pass Mobei-jun and see what Qinhua adored in him, too. That was a funny thought, but he had two years of unlearning and relearning new things, enough to be more accepting of what their future could be.

"You think you can convince Shang Qinghua if I can join you?"

If he had fused with Qinghua for that reunion he would've surely not sputtered his tea. That was a certainty.

[aropride]

following me simulator (in the reverse order it should be for readability sorry)

773,439 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 08:27am

good MORNINg dashboard. time for another day i am not ready but i will do it

#text #happyt thursday treat thursday

3 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 10:02am

to do today. psych quiz , work on zines, Remember to eat, dont die

#text #to do list tag

4 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 10:37am

my life is so beautiful (boy whos at the library voice)

#text

14 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 11:13am

GO TO HERE

#text #Spotify

9 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 11:22am

all right well why dont u listen to the waves crash against the shore for a while and maybe you’ll calm down . can you let the beauty of the world overtake you for just one fucking second

#text

31,798 notes

.

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 12:05pm

everyone on here needs to stop laughing about how "adopting pets from a shelter is for losers" and "those animals should be hunted for sport instead" its reprehensible on so many levels. First of all

Read more

#text #discourse

27 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 12:32pm

answer my questions boy

#text #polls

126 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 01:14pm

mcr5 summer 2024. mark my words

#text #mcr5

8 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 01:49pm

shaking and trembling and looking at you with fear in my eyes etc . did anyone else notice its scary

#text #scaredposting

39 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 02:43pm

ooh my godfdddd guys . just had an f slur moment so insane i literally cant come backfrom this one they have to kill me they have to kill me.

#text #I HATE BEING BISEXUAL THIS IS SO HUMBLING . #i would literally. WHATEVER

19 notes

aropride Follow 🔁 mychemmutal1 Follow April 5th 2024, 04:12pm

[gerard image]

#i miss you baby girl please call me i love you

12,971 notes

aropride Follow 🔁 normalaestheticblog Follow April 5th 2024, 04:23pm

[picture of a big clunky computer with some wires exposed or something]

#MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE. need her carnally #💾

7,122 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 06:37pm

just had the best pbj sandwich ever if you even care

#i love you pbj sandwich #text

4 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 06:58pm

i am goign to rip this title ix coordinator LIMB FROM LIMB !!!!!!!!

#text #WHO ELSE UP HAVING THEIR CIVIL RIGHTS VIOLATED LOLLLL #the negligence is crazy Lol . giys should i sue . i could literally fucking sue right now . oh my god . jesus christ #neg #🗒️

11 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 07:14pm

its like no one even cares about frozen 2013 anymore

#text

2 notes

aropride Follow 🔁 mychemmutual2 Follow April 5th 2024, 07:19pm

[gerard image]

#i miss her thighs i mean her music #PLEASE VOME BACKKKKKKK

1,939 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 08:12pm

judt went to the store and almost got hit by a fucking car coming back Like actually

#text #HAPPY THURSDAY I GUESS . WHATEVER

12 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 08:15pm

no but literally like. im NEVER gonna give you up. NEVER gonna let you down NEVER gonna tell a lie and HURT YOU..!!!!!!!!

#text #/ly

6 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 08:31pm

edibles time i deserve a little treat to be FREAKING honest

#text #weedposting

2 notes

aropride Follow April 5th 2024, 09:48pm

The edible has turned me bisexual once more.

#text #I NEED THEM IN A WAY THAT'S CONCERNING TO THE QUEER RIGHTS MOVEMENT

[anonymouscheeses]

Big fckn redesigns here. Well mostly Charlie but Vaggie somewhat too 🥰🥰

Blue fits Charlie soooo much and I cease to see that many redesigns with this color. I still want red to be used in most of their designs because well. They are in hell, but not too present so to make way for other unique colors. Charlie has several physical traits from her parents but also she has some details in her clothes that match with them. When I uhh, introduce their designs you'll see lmao. I also tried to make her have a more roundish design, I jst LOVE those typ of designs omg. I just want the characters with not too many sharp corners pls Viv bro... 😔 oh yeah she's mixed cuz her mom's are darker in their redesigns. Alot of their genetics went down to Charlie so she doesn't look like an exact copy of Lucifer, I kind of hate that trend with hh and hb characters, like did the moxxies dad give birth to him bro 😭 also I kept her bow because it looks so cute and silly on her it just fits, I wish they made it bigger in her show design because it would fit her silliness so much. She has a cape with stars because morningSTAR smh why didnt they do something fun with that, missed potential but whatevs yknow I still love og designs no matter what anyone sayss. Did you know I love Charlie, I could ramble for days. I think I love Charlie guys. Maybe jst a hunch idk... also... s-snake fangs.. jeepers anddd..... snake tongue.... shiver me timberz

The wife ever. I had animation in mind more when I designed her, not like in a "How easy or hard would this be to animate" way. But I like to imagine when she's shocked her hair kind of fluffs out plus her actual fluff, when she's mad her bow turns into kind of horns and then her jacket expands like wings. Gave her a more hotel like outfit, she likes to work for fun (ew). Her socks are socks but she has some fluff under them she just tries to cover it up because she hates herself 🤪 (she doesn't hate her bigger body she actually feels much more comfortable chubby than when she was skinny with Adam. She was burdened with the weight of Adam's image of women... In this sorta rewrite she gained weight when she goes to the hotel because she's more happy. I'm dying I love chub Vaggie so much guys please) headcanon: she kind of likes fashion, it's like a fun hobby of hers to stitch together clothing and go out and buy clothes she'll never wear. She taught Charlie how to stitch and she SUCKS so you can jst see it on Charlie's pants.

Second outfits! Charlie's hotel uniform for. Well. Hotel stuff. She usually only wears it when new people come to the hotel, which.... isn't often, if at all. She still likes to keep it just in case. Also she goes really cartoonish when it happens, she does the looney tunes run and changes into her clothes in like 2 seconds. Can you see my vision? 😭😭

Vaggie's is in her armor. She has several pairs of armor lying around in the hotel in completely hidden spots. It's kind of surprising uhh. Yeah she wears it alot more than Charlie wears her alt uniform but still rare to find her in it. I don't get the whole thing with the exterminators and them not being able to fight according to Carmilla. Which is kinda stupid, I'm not gonna lie. So, instead of that, Vaggie has just let her guard down and has gotten much more comfortable in her surroundings so she feels like she doesn't need to fight anymore, she's just gotten rusty 's what I'm sayin. I have no idea how to draw armor. You can tell...

Extra below cut vvvv

BABY CHARLIE!!! With the heads of my redesigns for Luci, Eve, and Lillith. Haha you still cant see them. Uhh, ill definitely finish the thing one day. Its not even that big of a project thing, i think i jst keep going to other drawings so im like not focusing on one thing lmao. Lucifer has heterochromia because he was cursed to forever be reminded of his betrayal. I only explained that because Charlie has it too, it's kind of a curse on the entire blood line where at least one eye is red. This is like. Slightly older Charlie than the baby Charlie in show? I jst wanted to put her in overalls cuz omg that's jst so cute ughhh 😭😭

[mischiefmaker615]

Dangerously Yours

Rating: PG 14

Summary: denial can be just as dangerous as a blade to your throat. 

Requested By: @guccicvm (wattpad)

Original Dialogue

Your chest rose and fell at a pace where you tried to tell yourself to relax. This was all suppose to be easy, simple even.. if it wasn't for the fact that he had woken up and those piercing green eyes practically stopped you in your tracks as the moonlight shown on you both through the windows of his bedroom. His bedroom..

Your hand shook as you tried to hold the knife still as it lay resting at his neck, not enough pressure to pierce but one small movement and it would. Your other hand resting at his bare chest, as if that alone would keep the god pinned, along with the fact that you were straddling him at his lips.

His arms stayed put at his sides, resting over his sheets as they draped up to his waist in silk. His hands barely ghosting your legs as his breathing had you rising and falling in a slow rhythm. He was calm.. to calm for one who had a blade at his throat, but of course you knew this wasn't no ordinary someone.

"Loki-''

"I'm going to tell you something my dear, my life is already in your hands in this particular predicament'' he smirked, not an ounce of concern in his eyes but his tone held seriousness.

''then don't tell me- you cant trust me and nothing you can say or do will change anything.. change what I have to do..'' you cut him off, knowing his cunning mind had its way of being manipulative.

"I love you.'' He said plainly, his voice and eyes calm as your eyes widen. ''And I believe you love me.''

"your.. your wrong! there was- is nothing between us''

''that isn't true darling-" he sighed with a small smile and a hushed tone.

''it is true! what may have happened before was merely just two young people.. young and stupid people not knowing what they wanted..'' your voice snapped at him and your gaze hardened. What was he doing?

''you might as well take my heart darling, for it is already full of you. It has always been yours since the day we met.''

Memories you wish you could forget had your eyes glance away from his for a mere second. ''you're a fool Loki..''

''isn't anyone who falls in love?..'' his voice paused, knowing honest feelings weren't quite in his nature too put into words, but he knew this moment was as serious as the blade at this throat. ''..Do you know what you are to me? You are something to believe in again, a sight that makes mere goddesses crumble in jealousy, a dream worth pursuing.. a wife I'd beg to have beside me..''

To your surprise, you felt a few tears run down your cheeks and fall upon your chest as you gazed down at him, your voice a whisper. "don't be a child.. we pursued other things but not each other." Your paths were different and you weren't here for all of that.

Upon seeing your tears, his eyes filled with gentle concern and his muscles tensed to stop himself from wiping your tears. ''what is it, what's wrong my dear?''

You merely shook your head. ''you know nothing about me- you've only known me for 3 weeks-''

''three glorious weeks my darling and yet I've still known you for all my life.'' Loki breathed with a smile by the memory. ''I began finally living the moment you stepped in sight. I've seen you in a thousand books, a hundred plays and a million songs-''

''shut up shut up!'' you snap, shaking your head to focus. ''Perhaps I was that woman once but I'm not her anymore.. your wrong and you cannot trust me.. at the very least, trust my decision.. right here, right now-''

Loki merely gave an amused look on his face at your attempt and sighed. ''don't play coy my darling, remember who you also lie too.'' His smile broke out into a grin, a grin that told you he knew more than what you thought. ''..I've known about who sent you and your plans leading up to this very moment the day you stepped foot into Asgard.''

You blink at him as you waited to catch his bluff. It must have been that damned gate keeper.. some type of magic.. there was no way- but his face was just as serious as yours as you slowly took a breath to try to understand. ''.. and.. and it didn't make a difference?''

Loki slowly shook his head. ''it didn't make any difference. You came here to betray me and to betray my realm. That is your assignment here and yet I am so sure of your feelings for me that I will trust you with my life'' he whispered, leaning forward so the blade pressed more against his skin, your instincts had you shift it back away. His smirk told you that by your hesitation right then and there, you were second guessing your decision.

How could he possibly have so much faith in you? ''i.. I will betray you-''

''you will betray yourself at the same time.'' he then smirked, revealing how as always, he will already be several steps ahead as his eyes dragged over your body then. ''even now I have been in the works to destroy those who had sent you''

Your body tenses against his and he knows it as your grip tightened on the handle. ''..no-''

''their only greatest decision was to be sending you here.''

Your eyes harden as you question him. ''..why?''

His eyes soften again as his eyes rise back up to your own. ''he knew I would love you. However, he never anticipated that you would also love me in return.''

By your silence, he already knew he was right as your gaze faded off ever so slightly. Your muscles relaxed as if your body itself was giving up in defeat yet your mind still questioned as he gave you a small smile. ''is your realm more important than me?.. surely those wonderous three weeks couldn't have meant nothing to you..''

By your reminders of the past days, the glorious past days as lovers would have spent, a small smile peaked at the corner of your mouth as you slowly shook your head. ''no..'' you whisper, knowing he was far more important than anything else that had entered your life before.

Your eyes drew back to his as you felt his finger tips slowly ghost over your legs, dragging up before he rested his hands on your hips and stayed still once more. He was warm.. and cold. A familiar touch and one that never came unwelcomed.

''help me then darling, help me overcome him.'' he whispered, knowing just how stubborn she could be in her decisions, almost as worst as he and he sighed. ''together.. we both cant win.''

Win.. so that was this was about? His cunning mind trying to distract you, to woo you so that your guard would fall so that he could have his thrown.. your realm, as if having all this now wasn't enough for him.. your eyes sharpened as you practically glared at him.

''..you think your clever don't you? I can read you just as you claim to know me, you probably made me love you! You just want information- for me to betray my people, my home, for you!''

His eyes sharpened as he seemed to stare right into your soul. ''that's not the way to look at it Y/N-''

''just admit that you have lost! You forgot how close hate is to love- give up our duel of wits!'' you snap, knowing how he always hates to lose, that's probably all this was. Yet now you were on top.. literally, with a blade in your hands. Of course he would say anything to get out of this..

''then why haven't you ended this.'' He dared. ''You don't know what you are saying Y/N-''

''you never loved me! You knew I loved you and you USED that!'' the tears returned to fall as his hands slightly gripped your hips, stopping himself once more to dry your cheeks.

''stop talking nonsense!''

Your eyes glared at him. nonsense? Was he not taking you seriously? Just to show him, you ever so slightly gave pressure at his neck. ''..I'd advise you to choose your next words wisely.''

His expression switched to someone calm.. to calm where it almost scared you as he teased. ''well, aren't we a bit melodramatic, aren't we dear?'' he smirked.

Bastard silver tongue. ''-run your mouth, it won't change anything because you have very little time to do so-''

''so your actually going to kill me?'' he says being dramatically shocked.

More pressure. ''listen well. You already know my position here, now either give me the information or I'll kill you.''

He almost looked amused then as his face returned to its expressionless form of calm as his thumbs began rubbing gentle circles on your bare skin, having just realized his hands had ghosted under your night dress. ''you won't do it darling; you won't kill me because you love me. It takes a very brave and cold woman to do so. I don't think you can, can you? Isn't that why you hesitate? Unless you wish to watch me die and plead for my life, but I'm sorry to disappoint.''

''you don't think I'd do it- that's why your brave but you're a coward, a coward for lying to me'' you cry, trying to ignore the pads of his fingers on your skin.

''you lied to me.''

You took a deep breath and stubbornly look away for a moment. ''I'm tired of listening to you-''

''you gave me your heart willingly, love.. you wish me to hand it back? Whole again?.. but I won't. You'll leave here in agony without me.'' He said with his voice as quiet as the wind coming through the balcony, drapes gently flowing around the room as the air seemed to almost still that every moment at the same time. you were looking at him, unsure of what to do but you knew what you had to. Why couldn't you?

Loki took your silence as a que to keep going as he smiled. ''there is no one but you, there will never be a second that I care for.. except my realm. Thus, you've left me no choice but to combine you both.''

You blink at him. ''what are you talking a-''

''my queen.''

In that very moment, his eyes flashed an almost white- green where your hand became empty before he decided to flip you both. His hips pinned yours and his hands now gripped your wrists that stayed put beside your head. His backline was highlighted by moonlight as he dipped his head to practically stay nose to nose with you. You knew his muscle would delete any attempt to try to escape from this position so why bother try.. you were almost frozen under his gaze practically as you coldly looked up into his.

''your face is like ice darling, what are you thinking?'' he asked, almost amused as you discover he had grown hard at this moment.. in the moment that was most dire, that you had hoped would take every ounce of seriousness. But you have failed.

You turn your face away from his gaze as you kept your hands into fists, feeling how his hands had inched to lace your fingers together but you at least took that away from him. ''what would it matter..''

His eyes became gentle, showing very much just how serious he took you as he kept you in a gentle grip. ''do you think I wanted to love you? Knowing where you came from and what your purpose here was? Don't you think that every moment with each other I was merely thinking that you were just pretending?''

Your eyes shot up to his hurt ''I wasn't- I loved you!''

''and I loved you so much.. I let you pretend. You brought me something I couldn't stand losing. Listen to your heart, how it pounds, what do you want?''

Your body began trembling now, facing the decision of what you wanted and what you thought you needed. He was asking you in presence and you both knew it.. you hadn't loved him, you love him! your lips quivered as you parted them to speak, his patience showing he would wait a thousand years if you needed as your eyes began to tear again. ''I want.. you..''

In that moment, he finally reached over and with a slow, gentle thumb, wiped your tears. ''..then let me love you Y/N, you are mine now..'' he whispered before he closed the distance between you both and kissed you.

And you surrendered. 

[gojosuagrbaby]

Woman.

!Loser Toru oikawa x!Bimbo Fem reader

!warnings; RAUNCHY. just basically filth !porn with little to no plot, !afab reader,!cunnilingus, oral!f receiving,!i cant spell, !penetrative sex, !unprotected sex !reader is a bimbo,!drunk sex, !mentions of alcohol use, !mentions of marijuana use, reader is implied to be hooking up with Atsumu, !degrading,! praising,! cock drunk reader

authors notes: loser oikawa brainrot is real. need him so bad its not okay anymore T-T, i got inspo when i was on call with my pookie bear brainstorming and we were listening to songs and woman by harry styles started playing..and here we are! THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD, i was proofreading it then i got lazy ;p. this is my first time actually writing smut so it might be a bit choppy..soz!!!!enjoyyy!!!

ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+

Loser!Oikawa has always been a little genius, hes always been the top of his class but somehow was never lucky enough to get noticed by girls. Not until his second puberty that was which might i add only came in the middle of his second year of college.

Loser!Oikawa decided to pick astronomy as an elective and almost creamed his pants when he saw you walk through those doors. hair down and in the sexiest baby blue tracksuit he had ever seen. your makeup was on point and he couldn't help but throb a little when you batted those pretty eyelashes at him while blowing a bubble with your gum.

"Do you have a spare pencil? i think i dropped mine in the hallway" a sickly sweet smile on your face. if he could he would have gave you every last pencil he owned.

Loser!Oikawa who spends every class barely paying the professor any attention, spending a solid 80% of the class staring at you hoping you'd ask him for litterally anything . and i mean anything. a pen, a sheet of paper, the world, anything you wanted he'd give it too you.

Loser!Oikawa who finally worked up the courage, after 4 weeks of taking that class , to finally introduce himself to you and he died right there when you smiled and told him your name. that sent him over the edge.

Loser!Oikawa who proceeded to go back to his dorm (thanking the stars his roomate wasnt home) and fist his cock to the image of your pretty little mouth wrapped around him, chanting your name like a mantra. he has never came so much in his life.

Loser!Oikawa who was so happy when you started sitting beside him in classes making small talk with him. Astronomy soon became the highlight of his week.

Loser!Oikawa who noticed how the fattest pout on your glossy lips when the professor handed back your most recent midterms at the end of class.

"Is everything okay?"

"No i am so failing this class if i do it'll throw off my entire grade for this year and ill have to repeat" you sounded to sad on the brink of tears. he throbbed.

"Hey i'm sure you didnt even do that bad, it was a pretty hard exam to be fair.."

"I guess.., what did you get anyways?"

Shit. He could easily lie and tell you he got an unbelievably low score, but both of you knew it wasnt possible for him to score lower then 97.

"...98%"

"..."

He sat there with the silence hanging in the room.

"Oikawa."

Uh oh.

Loser!Oikawa who's eyes almost popped out of his head when you basically threw yourself at him begging him to tutor you. and how could he say no? he almost moaned when you gave him the biggest hug known to man and he could feel your tits pushed right up against his chest.

Loser!Oikawa who spent the next couple of weeks tutoring you in between classes. You slightly picked up on the crush Toru had on you unbeknownst to him of course. You two had grown so close in those weeks. So much so that you invited him to your part to kick off spring break.

"If i pass this class, No WHEN i pass this class you just have to come Toru"

His name sounded so good out of your mouth. He wondered how much better it would sound if he was fucking you.

" I don't know [Name] i'm not exactly close to anyone you know and i don't want to ruin you night by clinging to you the whole night"

He was lying. Of course he wanted to go but he also knew how much of a soical butterfly you are and he would inevitably be left in a corner with some drunk couple dry humping beside him.

"I pinky promise you'll have fun, trust me."

So that.s how Loser!Oikawa found himself in front of your door two hours after the party had started. You did in fact pass your exam. He knocked at the door waiting a few minutes for it to open. just as he was about to turn around and go home, you opened the door smiling so brightly once you saw him standing there.

" TORU OH MY GOD I.M SO HAPPY YOUR HERE!" you were clearly drunk and maybe a little bit high evident by your low glossy red eyes.

"Yep! i almost wasn't gonna come but you did make me a promise..so here i am!" you giggled the most angelic thing hes ever heard. as he trailed behind you to the kitchen he couldn't help but stare and your figure in the dress you were wearing. it was teal-ish and barley covered your ass. it had a halter neck which you had the remaining fabric tied in a pretty bow. he wanted so badly to rip the garment off you.

Loser!Oikawa who after being forced to do a round of shots 'catch up' as you called it, stood in the kitchen smiling to himself as he watched you squeal with excitement as you heard you’re ‘fav song’ play. You’ve said that about the last 7 songs.

Loser!Oikawa who watches you run to the center of the living room screaming the lyrics to the song. swaying your hips to the sensual beat he watches as other bodies join you, mostly pairs, to sway and grind with each other. he softly sang along getting more buzzed from the liquid courage.

All was well until he showed up. Some random dude who came up behind you slowly wrapping his arms around your waist pulling you close. Toru was seething as he watched this guy whisper in your ear making you giggle that infectious laugh that he wished was reserved for only him.

'I hope you can see the state that i'm in, while hes touching your skin'

The longer the scene unfolded in front of him, the more he felt his body tingle with jealousy. He felt like a child being forced to share when he wanted to keep you to himself. Hes selfish, and hes fully aware of that.

'He's right where I should, where I should be...'

Downing the last of his drink, he stood there throwing daggers at the pair. He was angry, but not at you. he could never be angry at you. As the song finished and you made your way back over to the kitchen, New toy boy in tow, Toru felt his body act on its own.

He made his way over to where you were standing too entranced in the other man, who he soon came to learn as Miya Atsumu, to notice his presence behind you. Not until you turned your head to the side while Miya was planting kisses up the side of your neck that you noticed Oikawa.

The energy of the situation shifted drastically once you realized who loomed over you. You weren't sure if it was all the alcohol or even the weed you smoked but Oikawa looked so unbelievably sexy right now. I mean he's always been so sexy too you with him being such a dork. It always turned you on slightly and when he'd stretch you got to see how built he really was. But right now? You wanted him to fuck you ASAP. his glasses had long been discarded. his hair was slightly disheveled and he looked pissed. You wanted him bad.

"Oikawa! whats up babe? you enjoying the party?"

He didn't respond just slightly nodding his head.

"Well dude if you don't mind were kinda in the middle of something right now, so..."

This time the blonde spoke. and that sent Oikawa over the edge. He grabbed your hand and stormed away dragging you behind him. You were yelling at him to slow down for a second finding it hard to keep up with his long strides. He couldn't hear you though. his ears were ringing and everything became muffled.

When he entered you bedroom he slammed the door behind him leaving you standing there eyes wide in shock. This was NOT your Toru Oikawa. you've always known toru to be soft and patience and overall kind of a push over. But the man standing in front of you was none of those things.

"Oikawa What the actual fuck is going on?! why did you-" before you could even finish your sentence you were stopped by Toru's mouth on yours. moaning softly into the rough kiss you wrapping your arms around his shoulders you pull him closer. your whole body burning up with lust.

As the kissing became even more intense you pulled away smiling at the brunette who was looking at you with blown out pupils.

“Get on the bed.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Get on the bed.”

You have never seen him being so commanding before. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on. In fact this was the most turned on you’ve ever been.

Doing as he said you made your way onto the bed sitting on your knees waiting for him to come over to you.

grabbing a your hair and yanking it slightly to pull your head to the side he began attacking your neck, Leaving a trail of purple marks to bloom in his wake.

“You think you’re so cute slutting yourself out like that huh? letting other men grab you and touch you hm?”

not trusting yourself to speak you just moaned in response.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do that. To dance with you and kiss you? i bet you don’t because all you care about is getting your holes stuffed don’t ya?”

He was being so mean and yet you could feel yourself getting wetter with each new insult he threw your way. Making his way back up to you he grabbed your face forcing you to look at him. His cock throbbing as he saw the fat tears well in your eyes.

“Poor baby’s crying now. You didn’t mean it did you baby?”

“N-no Toru, just wanted to make you jealous is all” you mewled out. tears falling and staining your pretty face. you weren’t crying because of him being mean. you were crying because you were so incredibly horny and he wasn’t doing anything to help.

As if he read your mind he began to kiss you again letting his hands roam around your body until they reached close to where you ached for him the most.

while his hands slowly scaled your thighs you moaned as he inches closer to your core.

“Toru please”

“What is it baby what do you want?”

“Want you to touch me, please i promise i won’t go near Atsumu anymore just please touch me”

he was so done for.

He had fantasized about you moaning and begging for him for so long he never expected for it to actually happen.

humming in response he decided to be nice and give you what you wanted.

“lie down baby, i’ll make you feel good. promise.”

doing as he said you laid down on the bed staring up at your ceiling in anticipation while he parted your legs. pulling your panties to the side he moaned at the sight of your cunt.

“so fucking pretty” he mumbled to himself. as you raised your head to try listen to what he said, he dove right in. licking a bold stripe up your center that had your head falling back and the most pornographic moan leaving your mouth.

as he continued to work his skill full mouth against your core you were lost in a world of ecstasy. Oikawa found himself rutting against the edge of the bed, his dick growing harder as you continued to moan his name. It’s like all his birthdays came at once.

“Toru please please please i’m gonna cum please don’t stop, oh my god” blabbering incoherent words to a pussy drunk Toru only drove him to bring you over the edge.

slipping in two of his fingers to replace his tongue that he now focused on your clit, lapping up every single drop of you not letting you go to waste.

“You taste so good baby, So fucking sweet, you’ve got the prettiest pussy you know that yeah?. she’s so fucking wet for me”

Now he was blabbering. The vibrations of his voice is what made you cum. and hard.

Riding out your high on his face Toru still kept lapping you up even in your overstimulated state. It wasn’t until you forcefully had to lift his head up that he stopped.

“Toru is too much,i want you in me please need your cock so badly” you managed to squeeze out in between moans. surely the whole party has heard how desperate you sound now.

“Yeah? I dunno baby i don’t think you deserve it after the stunt you pulled earlier. Why don’t you beg for it angel?”

You did just that. Pleading with the lanky brunette to “Stuff you full of his cock”. Fat tears falling from your eyes as you beg with such desperation, the lust in your body physically hurting, the only cure being Oikawas touch burning in its place.

After what felt like an eternity he finally shushed you with a kiss so gentle you almost missed it.

“Awh i think you’ve apologized enough sweetheart, lay down for me. let me make you feel all better~/.” he whispered in your ear as he guided your back gently to the bed, positioning himself in between your legs with your ankles resting on his shoulders. Lining himself up with your entrance you both took a sharp breath as he pushed in.

Toru swears he could have came right there from how warm and soft your insides were. Bottoming out fully you both moaned in ecstasy. The stretch from how big Oikawas cock was, was enough to make your eyes roll back into your skull.

“Ru, please move please, need to feel you fuck me so hard please” as you pleaded some more, toru could feel his cock get unbelievably harder.

Pushing your knees closer to your chest, Oikawa continued to drill his cock deep into your cunny. Hitting that soft spot that made your eyes roll back further and your mouth drop into a soft 'O' shape. He marvel in your moans as your tits bounced around.

"Whats wrong baby? going too deep?" he asked, false concern dripping in his voice. All you could do is whine is response, not trusting your voice quiet yet, He could get used to seeing you like this. Hair splayed out across your pillow, eyes brimming with fat tears threatening to fall. You were so cock drunk he'd be surprised if you even remembered your own name at this point.

Chanting his name like a mantra, you began to claw at his biceps your body warning him of your approaching orgasm before your mouth can even catch up.

"T-Toru please right there, so close, 'm so close,fuck, wanna cum, need to cum all over your cock please please-" you didn't even know if your sentences were even making sense at this point but you didn't even care, only caring about being able to finish.

"Yeah? go on then baby, shittt-cum all over my cock."

Like a devote follower listening to her god, you did just that. the most intense orgasm ripped through your body ass your whole body shook, back ripping off the bed in a high arch as you clung onto Oikawa for dear life, who continued to fuck you through your mind numbing climax to reach his own which followed not long after.

Moaning and whimpering in your ear, Toru came with his head buried in the nook of your neck, biting down on the sweet spot that connected your neck and shoulder to try and cover his own pathetic moans. Now it was his turn for his body to shake as he filled you up with his load, not wanting a single drop to go to waste.

after a few beats of silence with the two of you just trying to catch your breath, the brunette lifted his head from its place in the nook of your neck and spoke first.

"Are you okay? i didn't go to far did i? im sorry i dont know what came over me i just saw you with Miya and-"

Before he could continue to blabber on you shut him up. planting a slopping kiss on his lips which he graciously returned, as the kiss once again became more heated the door burst open to reveal a drunk and most definitely pissed Atsumu Miya.

"What. the. fuck."

[voidedaurora]

Now just to preface before her fans go crazy at me, I don't have a account in her server and I'm not specifically telling anyone to go out of their way to send me these things (aswell I do just get sent stuff in asks so there's that) DO NOT HARASS ANYONE MENTIONED/SHOWN IN SCREENSHOTS, I DO NOT CONDONE ANY AGRESSIVE, SPITEFUL, HATEFUL, OR OTHERWISE MALICIOUS BEHAVIOR!

Edit: I actually forgot to include a rlly important screenshot (her announcement about all of this)

Alot of her fans groveled at her knees after this announcement despite it basically being "yea I might make sexual jokes but sorry YOU interpreted it that way" She doesn't actually take any accountability in this? "I genuinely did not mean for any of it to be deemed as grooming" that's not even denying its grooming or apologizing for anything, it's literally just saying "I didn't want you to think about it like that" Aswell with the last part I have underlined, what evidence? how are you going to disprove you're grooming khai after everything stacked up, your current visible actions will always speak louder than your words in a screenshot with something like this. Honestly do better mel, cut this shit out, and stop being weird with people significantly younger, and set BOUNDARIES. [you can have a best friend without being sexual around them, foreign concept I know!] Whether you like it or not you're growing up, you're not a little kid just making animation memes anymore, you're nearly 19 years old and need to wake up and be responsible about this and own up to what you've done instead of your ego getting to you. Not to mention you havent addressed literally any of the other things you've been called out for because you genuinely do not care apparently.

Altogether, bad response you didn't take any accountability and blamed everyone else for "seeing it that way". end of edit:

Anyway I wanted to touch on part of the convos that've been going on in her server and clear up (once again) my side on why this is an issue since people in her server seem to exist on a different dimensional plane, ignoring everything I've said only to make up their own incorrect interpretations of my feelings/why I've done what I have here on tumblr. The SS i'll be speaking on first:

I'd like to state again for the record that while the fact she's 15 in a 16+ server is an issue (especially because its out of special treatment) It's not the main problem at hand here. The main problem with her being let in is the fact Mel allowed her to LIE about her age to get in and the fact that apparently she was also going to make an exception for another 15 yr old to be in from what I've been told? Coupled with her other recent behaviors it makes it all the more concerning. With Khai specifically/s past [that being lying to get into adult spaces to erp, draw/exchange nsfw, and a whole lot of other unsavory/inappropriate things] which again, Mel was and is 100% aware of, It's not okay for her to be letting this behavior slide and even encouraging it at this point. Khai has been lying about her age for years now and the fact she's being enabled and allowed to continue said behaviors is just not okay period, she already gets away with it but it's teaching her she can continue to do that without consequence having mel make an exception specifically just for her.

It's all genuinely so weird and just eugh, I'm extremely disappointed to see mel giving such special treatment to a whole kid just because they're besties now, especially with how she used to feel about/talk about khai before she became a wide eyed fan that looked up to her, genuinely what is up with her befriending the most parasocial fans ever. Aswell, whether you're best friends or not you shouldn't be letting/encouraging a friends bad behavior, this goes for both mels and khais actions respectively, from what I can tell they just gas eachother up and let eachother do bad shit just because, obviously khai cant really do anything to stop mels bad behaviors since she's a kid and that's not her job, but its still worth mentioning. Mel NEEDS to set boundaries if she insists on being best friends with fans/people significantly younger than her, she needs to learn what is appropriate and what is not, It's not hard to act normal around younger friends. [Imo someone 18+ honestly shouldn't be having 15 yr old best friends but that's just a personal opinion and my own morals]

And just to mention once again, I'd appreciate if the people in her server wouldn't just blatantly talk shit about me and especially would stop theorizing and prying into my mental health/BPD. I absolutely do not appreciate my disorder being used to push the idea that I just want to bring her down, just because I'm hurt from her actions doesn't make me speaking out on her blatantly terrible behavior any less valid, I can be hurt and truthfully talk about everything that's gone on simultaneously despite what a lot of people seem to believe. You've all made it quite clear you do not care about victims and would rather use "well I was (blank) and-" statements to discredit everything I or anyone else have to say about this, aswell as the whole "this should've been private!" argument as if I didn't try to handle this privately. Just because you've had an experience that went a certain way doesn't mean you have any higher ground to speak on when its about SOMEONE ELSES situation, sure you have input to give yes, but using your own experience to bring down someone else just because the one in the wrong just happens to be your #1 idol animation meme youtuber is disgusting and really makes where your priorities are at clear. Obviously everyone will believe what they're gonna believe, mels always gonna have her parasocial yesmen and there's nothing I can do to change their minds. Though I'd like so say, what has mel done to disprove any of this? Has she provided any evidence, has she given any meaningful statements?, has she properly addressed anything? the answer is no unsurprisingly. Take what she's said (or the lack of what she's said) into consideration before throwing yourself at anyone to defend her. And Fyi, Her essentially saying "nuh uh I'm not grooming anyone and I know I shouldn't be weird around friends but its a joke lol!" doesn't actually disprove anything, her actions have spoken way louder than her words ever have/will Here's a few notable screenshots/my takes on em bc auhh some of these are worded pretty rudely but I'd like to be transparent and honest.

[I originally did not censor names but I've decided to because I don't wasn't anyone getting ideas and harassing people]

Also just to add on a bit, I really hope this doesn't actually happen because why is a whole adult having a 15-16 yr old fly out to see her, and a better question would be why would her guardians allow that??

I don't think I have the full screenshot of this but reminder that mel actually was the one who refused to communicate like ever? I'd tried really hard to get mel to talk to me so we could have a private conversation about everything (her admitting to only sleeping with clover to be with me + a handful of other things) but she avoids talking things out like the plague, I gave her around 3 months before saying ANYTHING and there wasn't a single word until she'd got her friend to come up to me, only to refuse talking unless it was in a group which I absolutely was not comfortable doing (why would I ever feel comfortable having that conversation about sexual shit + personal stuff with other people around, let alone the same people who'd lied to cover for her before along with other things??) I'd like to note that I still don't have her blocked on anything so there's never been anything stopping her from reaching out other than her own ego/thoughts. same person sadly, they've got some interesting takes to say the least

Just because someone says "I'm not being groomed" or says they aren't a victim doesn't mean they actually aren't a victim, Its extremely common for a victim to be unaware they are one or even go as far as defending the abuser. I myself even struggle seeing myself as a victim sometimes and need alot of reminders (my input isn't too important but I thought I'd mention that </3)

Also khai, Idk what chronically online wording this is but I do not care about your "vrchat culture", cuddling and all that with someone significantly younger than you is weird regardless, does that "culture" also include being weird with minors in the handbook or is that just something mels added on? /gen

With this, you can be a victim and a bad person khai, in my opinion you are both. I can wish you well in one situation and not like you because of another, just because you've done terrible shit doesn't mean I want terrible shit to happen to you

Not much to say other than a 15 yr old shouldn't be "sleeping in the same bed" as an adult, let alone CUDDLING??

All I have to say with this is that yes! you are a child khai and I'm not going to give you special treatment like mel does, I genuinely do wish the best for you and that you get out of this situation though, truly. And I'll share as much as NEEDED to prove what I've said because none of it is false [if ANYTHING, there could be misunderstandings, but none of what I've said is made up, bullshit because I'm "hurt", stuff just trying to make mel look bad, etc.] , I have nothing to hide unlike mel (who's proven/disproven nothing?) Reminder I wouldn't have had to share anything if she'd handled things in private like i'd tried to, but it's a little too late for that. Best thing she can do is admit her wrongs and make some sort of response HERSELF.

Additionally

Its the way she just doesn't care and is more focused on her animation memes and her birthday coming up, don't do bad things if you cant handle consequences, or just don't do terrible stuff period?

I'll state again DO NOT HARASS ANYONE MENTIONED/SHOWN IN SCREENSHOTS, I DO NOT CONDONE ANY AGRESSIVE, SPITEFUL, HATEFUL, OR OTHERWISE MALICIOUS BEHAVIOR! Sorry if this isn't worded correctly/comes off as aggressive at all, I definitely missed some stuff aswell but I don't want this post to be too crazy long (I am upset so it definitely shows through a bit, I apologize for that, my kindness with all of this has been stretched pretty thin, especially knowing how much shit her fans are talkin about me simply because I spoke out </3)

[quillkiller]

saw you posting about grindeldore and immediately went and stalked almost all your posts LMAOOOO. love them to pieces, they are so- literally my fav ship ever

i have been so severely mentally unwell about them lately… like they’re on my mind constantly. i recently read this fic and oh my god its SOOOOO. so fucking sick and twisted. me and kara kept sending screenshots to each other while reading it and then we made a grindeldore pinterest board … 🤍

^ from the fic i linked. my heart was in my fucking throat. in my THROAT.

AND THIS FROM THE BOOKS. FROM CANON. PERHAPS THAT LIE TO VOLDEMORT WAS HIS ATTEMPT TO MAKE AMENDS… TO PREVENT VOLDEMORT FROM TAKING THE HALLOW….

… OR MAYBE FROM BREAKING INTO YOUR TOMB?

oh i feel SICK!!!!!!!!!!! OR FROM BREAKING INTO YOUR TOMB? ARE YOU JOKING. THAT’S THE MOST ROMANTIC THING ANYONE HAS EVER SAID AND DONE. im going to throw up.

here’s my live reaction to the canon bits and pieces i was researching while texting kara.. 🤍

like. how are they not more of a big deal. just the canon material alone is fucking insane. it’s summer of 1899 and you spend two (2!!!) months together and it ends in absolute tragedy and haunts you for the rest of your lives. albus was basically raising his siblings by himself and allows himself one selfish thing and it gets so out of hand because he’s a teenager and he’s power hungry and greedy and wants to change the world. HE WAS JUST A BOY !!! HE WANTED OUT !!!! and it ends with your sisters death and your brother who can barely stand to look at you anymore but still dedicates his life to fighting by your side. who lives close to you your whole lives but doesnt want to see you. you end up becoming a synonym with ’good’ and you’re NOT. you’re not good. only knows grindeldore has to be stopped. and dumbledore keeps putting people in danger so that Evil wont win, even if it means sacrificing good and/or innocent people (re: first war, harry, draco, etc). HES IDOLIZED AND WORSHIPPED AND ADORED BY PEOPLE HE WOULD SACRIFICE IN A HEARTBRAT FOR THE ’GREATER GOOD’ THINKING IT GIVES HIM MORAL HIGH GROUND I FEEL SICKKKKCKKGKCKCK. IS ACTIVELY STAYING OUT OF POSITIONS OF POWER BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE CANT BE TRUSTED !!!!!! and the only person who really and honestly knows your heart and greed and rot and how goodness doesn’t come naturally for you is the boy you shared a passionate intense and world ending two months with. who has to be stopped. who wants so badly for you to join him. who’s heartbroken because you wouldn’t. who’s trying to do what you were supposed to do together. i feel sick.

[pookieismissing09]

ok guys i never post on here but heres my take on the sturniolo space camp situation if anyone gives a fuck

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I DONT EXPECT ANYONE TO READ EVERYTHING NO ONE WILL PROB SEE THIS ANYWAY 💀 ill prob delete this icl its just a lil rant 🥰🥰

and if u disagree with me idc im just expressing my opinions 😭 read the whole thing so i can justify myself before u start attacking me

before i say anything im not just sticking up for nick just because im a fan of the triplets. like some people are only sticking up for him because they hate to admit that he would ever lie or do anything wrong- and they’re defending him with no reasoning other than “he would never 🥺” like stfu. what im saying is that i don’t know for sure whether the ‘bee better’ guy is telling the truth, for all i know he might be chatting utter shit. but if he is telling the truth, then im saying that i understand nick lied but its not necessarily a negative thing.

so like first of all i dont see the issue with nick not being the founder of the brand. like yes i understand its ‘morally wrong’ to lie and its misinformation but i think we will live… it doesnt make any difference to the products or the people who buy them. like ik people say that they only bought it to support nick and they wouldn’t have bought it if they knew it was just some random brand, but its not just some ‘random brand’- they are still supporting nick cos he gets payed for advocating it. by purchasing the products, theyre keeping the brand afloat which means nick will get payed for being the ‘face of the brand’ and doing a good job at advertising. or in simple terms, even if nick isnt the founder of the entire brand he is still a huge part of the company and is definetly getting a fat bag from all of this. like yall are acting like you wouldnt lie if a company said they would pay you to do so- bffr we would all do what nick did.

and the other main thing is everyone is complaining about the price all of a sudden. like if you are all protesting about how nick has nothing to do with the origin of the brand then surely he also wouldn’t be able to control the price? so according to everyone saying the lip balms are not his idea, don’t be mad at nick for the ridiculous pricing if he apparently ‘had nothing to do with it in the first place‘. and aside from that, the pricing literally had nothing to do with the fact that he lied about being the founder- it would probably cost the same either way so why are people only getting worked up about the pricing now that he is being ‘exposed’? like honestly people are just looking for excuses to say he’s a bad person like what 😭

and ik this doesnt have anything to do with spacecamp, but in general these days everyone is saying how the triplets don’t put any effort into their content anymore and only do it for the money. i think you are forgetting that youtube is their full time paying job. doing youtube as a hobby and doing it as a career are completely different- and most people find that when they pursue their hobbies as a career choice they start to enjoy it less since they feel under pressure to perform a certain way (and don’t come at me for saying that because im “babying” the triplets, piss off).

put it this way, people that have high paying jobs that sit in an office all day don’t do that type of work for their enjoyment- they only work in that environment because they want to receive a larger income instead of having an enjoyable job with a poor wage. this is exactly the same as the triplets’ situation, i doubt very much that they actually do youtube for their personal enjoyment. at the end of the day they have to pay the bills and youtube is their only job- its not always going to be fun like it used to be (both for them and for us watching).

and for all of you thinking ‘well they shouldnt be youtubers if they cant entertain people’ you have to understand that getting a different job takes time. like the whole process of finding a career, interviewing etc. and as well as that, they are probably terrified to even consider looking for another career because of their batshit crazy fans (including me 💀). like can we just cut them some slack and let them get on with their job 😭. and at the end of the day they cant just stop being youtubers, they will never be able to live their lives as regular people now that they have created their platform- i doubt they will ever do anything else bc of the fear of being recognised in public whilst they are doing a more “normal” job.

and for the love of god this is NOT me saying that the triplets are gonna quit youtube. like i said, its their full time job. im just giving my opinion on people saying they are only doing it for the money- and quite honestly they are, but is that really such a bad thing? like im sorry but they aren’t just posting for our entertainment, they need money one way or another.

also is anyone else excited for the stream later like i hope nick will say something about all this and not just stay quiet until it all blows over

i think thats all i was gonna say i cant remember but if theres more then i will say 😘😘😘 sorry i waffle alot

[mizuena2010]

let the Mizuki rambles begin

okay well first off I’m using they/them for Mizuki here, but also refer to them with like feminine nicknames u could say? Idk but if that bothers you, I’m so sorry but I am NOT getting into all that gender stuff so.. respectfully, SHHHHHH.

also could anyone tell I’m obsessed w their character?

no?

didn’t think so either (｀・∀・´)

anyways. Here I go.

okay the reason why I’m so obsessed with this girly is just that they are too relatable. Like I will literally start crying like the emotional ass I am when reading their stories. Especially the What Lies Ahead event. Mizuki is faced with a lot of issues, most of them due to not fitting in. I think this is one of the most popular problems that many individuals face in today’s society, hence why their character is on the more popular side.

it is difficult for Mizuki to be themselves, and over the years, they’ve just learned to store away hurt they may face, and dismiss it like nothing. That’s why when the hurt catches up with them, it affects them very strongly, causing them to shut people out, and put up their careless act. I’ve also noticed the habit where they do allow people to grow close with them, but only at a certain point. Past that point, they fear what happens in the future if they cross that line.

Mizuki is also one who finds lying easy; a simple act to cover up concern from the people who care about them. They see their lies as something that benefits the other person, as when they lie, they won’t have to drag the other person down into their problems they see as burdens.

okay hiii guess whose brain is working again so Imma finish this up.

Besides the comments Mizuki gets, their other worries are primarily about the people they care about.

Despite the fact that they shut themselves away from others, they do get attached to people quite easily, and it doesn't take long before they think, "How long until I lose them?"

They dont wish to get so attached, but they crave for the affection that their loved ones show them. They want more of it, but are hesitant to ask for it. Experiences that are supposed to be positive for them can quickly become negative when Mizuki shifts their thinking process. Instead of cherishing their moments (not saying they dont, but they do worry a lot) they begin to think of the future, and imagining a future where the person they love ends up leaving them. This thinking process is something that develops over the years with issues like Mizuki's. They find it difficult to stay in the present, they cant help but grow sad at the thought that soon the memories they make with people they love wont matter. Change is something they dislike. They grow anxious while trying to find ways to get people to stay with them longer.

I think this is also why Mizuki was so taken aback at Ena's promise, and her words alone.

In the What Lies Ahead event, even after Ena says these things, they cant help but doubt her words. They try to imagine a future where Ena is forever by their side, but with everything they've faced, this makes it hard to do so.

It’s not like they don’t want to change, though. In many of their stories, they’re seen wistfully imagining a day where they could stop worrying, where they could stop lying to themselves and others, a day where they can have faith in the ones who promise they’ll stay.

Overall, Mizuki’s story is an interesting and well-developed one, with lots of build-up as they begin to realize that they don’t want to hide as much anymore. They want to push themselves further, they want to deepen their connections with the people they love. They’ve seen everyone around them move on, and they feel it’s time for them to move forward, too.

(I’m not ready for Mizuki5 I will be ugly crying istg)

[blingblong55]

Always you- 141+König

This is based on a request:

GN!Reader, cheating, angst? (idk anymore)

How 141+König react to them cheating on reader.

Backstory to make us both cry:

The love of his life, the one who waited for him. It was just you and him. It wasn't a perfect life, that is true and he promised you it wouldn't be. "I Can't promise picket fences or walks around town on sunny afternoons." he said, sitting across from you. "I know, no one can, but I know what I feel for you and it's not something I can have with anyone else, I'm not willing to leave just because you cant promise that. I don't want to be with no-one else but you." your hands delicately caressing his face. And it was true, the relationship wasn't perfect, nothing was, but he made things feel like heaven. The way he held you close when either of you had a bad day, the way his presence was comforting enough.

You knew you'd never love a man like how you love him. How his nose scrunches when he dislikes something, how he smiles when you kiss him. It's too unreal. And you, gosh, you were the reason why he fought so hard to always come back home. Home...yeah home, he whispered to himself. The way he felt so vulnerable around you, how he felt safe. He loved how you would hold his hand. He swore he must be dreaming, how can a creature like you, love him? You deserve the best things in life, he thought as he watched how every time he came home, you were there by the door.

He came home after a tough mission, you as always waited by the door. He dropped his bag and wrapped his arms around you. "fuck..I missed you so much." He said, it was so soft, almost like a whisper, his head nuzzled against your neck. He's home.

After a few days, he and his friends went out, he tried convincing you to go with him. "I have some work to do, besides you need to have some fun without me." you kissed his cheek. And he soon was on his way out. You worked on a paper for work, you kept your phone on, waiting for him to call you to pick him up. But he didn't call all night.

I'm wasting my time

when it was always you,

chasin' the high,

but it was always you

--------------------

Ghost:

He was nearly blackout drunk, he wasn't thinking at all about the consequences when his mouth was on another person.

He liked it, it was something new, it was fun. The person took him to their place, all night he spent touching them, making them feel good.

Simon woke up around 5 am, a random person snuggling them. Their hands on his chest, just like you would rest them.

His head ached, it wasn't good, his eyes scanning the room, it wasn't your bed he was on, not the same bedsheets, or the same room. He got up and quickly changed and walked away from that strangers bed.

"Fuck fuck fuck." he whispered to himself, cursing his own name. "why simon, why did you fuck up!" he couldn't face you, not now. So he went to a coffee shop, he sat there in his sorrow, wiping tears as he thought of what he did.

"you okay?" asked an old man. "no, I fucked up." his eyes fixed on the piece of jewelry you gave him. It was a thing now, if he went away, you'd give him a necklace, ring or bracelet. "a piece of me while you're out there." He cried even more, remembering your soft words

"if you love them, then go on and tell them, be honest son." the man patted his back and walked away.

But he couldn't face you just yet, he still felt the other person on him. He felt dirty.

It was hate he felt, disgusted he would do this to you. He couldn't even touch himself, even if he was itchy, he didnt even dare scratch.

He walking along an empty road, thinking of you.

"I'm sorry, im sorry for what I did," his voice low, soft sniffles coming from him. He repeated this like a mantra.

A trained soldier, a man who hated lie, who betray him. And now here he was, laughing at his own mistakes. He was going mental.

He was alone with his thoughts and the worst part is that you aren't there to help them go away.

Price:

He wasn't the type to get drunk and flirt with anyone. Not since you came into his life, he was so respectful, always pushing strangers off of him. "I have a spouse waiting for me." he'd tell them.

This time he didnt say that, instead, he let them kiss him. He gave in, took them to his car and had a party of his own.

When it all ended, he sat there. The stranger put their clothes back on and walked off.

Now it was just him, he stared at the wheel.

He gasped once he realized what he had done. God he hated himself so much right now.

He pictured you, waiting by the door, looking at your phone just waiting for him to call you. "pick me up." he would've said, he would sit in his car and wait for you, the next morning you two would go pick it up. Having breakfast at a diner. But not this time.

He just sat, his hands brushing his hair out of desperation. He was so stressed.

He knew you'd be upset if you knew he was driving while intoxicated, so trying to at least do some good, he got off, locked the car and walked away.

As he made it closer to an open field, he screamed, letting all the anger and pain he felt leak out.

He then fell to his knees, crying as the cold night passed him by.

He laid on the floor. Trying not feel a thing, as his tears choked him out.

It was the worst kind of pain, his own heart begging for mercy.

"please..please.." he whispers, his voice shaky and unstable "please dont leave..please" it was as if he was a little kid all over again.

Gaz:

It wasn't like him to break promises, especially when he was breaking the ones he made to you.

He drank and drank, drowning in the alcohol, he wanted to let go for once. But if he knew he'd mess up this much, he would've never left you back home all alone.

When his lips met the strangers lips, it was indescribable, he wanted more, urged for more. By the morning, he walked back home, thinking of all that happened that night.

He wiped the tears that fell from his face.

"I'm so stupid, stupid, stupid." he hit himself a few times, each slap getting weaker and weaker.

He thought of how you'd react. You had been in relationships where you'd been cheated on, he assured you he wasn't like any of them.

You kept him like an oath, but all he had ever done was tuck you away, like his own little secret, a secret he had fucked up.

He threw up. It was remorse he was feeling by now. Never had he ever felt this way about something so awful.

He was a soldier. He was a human. He was a cheater.

All he ever wanted was to have a life with you, and now that future was far from reach.

As his own tears fell down to his face, he sat down, staring into the nothingness. It was pity that he was feeling, pity for how much one an idiot he is.

He wish he could get enough courage to face you and tell you what did, but that even then, courage couldn't help get out of this one. Nothing could. So he just sat and waited. The sun rising through and he was still there, like an abandoned dog, waiting for its owner.

It was a mistake. That wasn't a lie, but why did he like it? why did he think of you but felt nothing? Could it be he was just numb? or maybe it was his own heart begging for this everlasting pain to stop.

Soap:

It was no lie when he said that people are usually just attracted to him for no reason, he joked about it multiple times. But at the end of the day, he was yours and no one else's.

He was a little upset that you had said no to him, but he still had fun.

He was too drunk to think straight. In his own words "natural flirt" and this time this advantage had failed him, the person started to get hot too soon. But he didnt stop it, not until it was too late. He kissed the stranger, but he soon pushed them off.

He walked away from the bar. Yes it was something so small, but he knows you, even if he flirts with others you'd be upset/ jealous.

You and him had a talk a while back. "I think if it's not with your partner, then yes it's cheating." you said, he took notes, always flirting with you, ignoring the strangers that walked up to him. "I'm with someone, piss off" he spit out.

That would earn kisses from you, but this time? he was afraid of the outcome.

So he did was he knew best, he called Price. Poor man stayed up with him, listening to him cry and curse his whole existence.

By 4am, he had picked up another bottle. He drank from it as his life depended on it. He cried and cried. He wished his mother were there to yell at him.

"r/n, please." he begged as he looked up...he swore you were staring down at him while he was on his knees.

He walked home, he knew that if you were in the same position, you'd tell him. And now here he was, standing in front of you. his eyes red and puffy.

You tried to hug him, but he pushed you away, saying he doesn't deserve your gentle hands on him, he walked into the bathroom, and for a whole hour he cried in the shower. Water dripping down off him. He got out and told you about the whole thing.

He was a sobbing mess by 7 in the morning. He told you he understood if you wanted to end things now. He wouldn't blame you for anything

But what he did do was apologize, every sentence you spoke was followed by a soft and shaky sorry from his part.

König:

He didn't like to go out much, especially not without you. But this time, his team would be there, celebrating a victorious battle.

He got carried away in a stupid competition with one of his mates. He was so drunk he couldn't form words.A handsome/gorgeous stranger tapped his shoulder, and after some weird conversation, they were onto of him.

He mistook their flirting with kindness. His team knew it them moment the poor man was just talking about you to them. Because for seconds he swore he saw you there in front of him.

He pushed them off, running out to the alley of the bar. His breathing started to become uneven. His was dizzy, too dizzy for his own good.

He knelt down, his hands on his thighs. Silent cried came from him. He wiped the tears and sat down.

It was nothing but a mistake, if only he would convince you he didn't mean to kiss them.

But this was too much for him. He stood up, barely balancing on his feet. "r/n?" he looked in front of him. "liebling, I am sorry..please..please tell me you saw how they kissed me." he begged at the air, approaching the figure.

It was the alcohol that was making him see things.

And after much struggle, the team found him. He was staring at the road.

"C'mon, you have to get to your partner." a friend said, all he did was push them off.

He started to get aggressive, his pushes becoming punches. It took all of them to put him to the ground. They knocked him down and he felt at peace, his body finding a new pain to cure.

And as his face rested on cold ground, he cried once more. "I love r/n...I love them."

"we know..." his mates finally calming him down..."please tell them I love them." his voice now soft

Should've never let you go, my baby

̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿

A/n: ok so this might've not been the best..but at least it was something..also happy GP weekend!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

[snow-143]

Water Coloured Tears | Jeon Jungkook

one- pilot (1.7k words)

Jeon Jungkook. The man that everybody wants, the man that knows this and loves the attention. On campus everybody knows him as Kook. However, I know him as Kookie, or I suppose my Kookie if were being critical. 

He's never told anyone this and neither have I. A well kept secret that only we know here. Of course when I go back home for holidays everybody asks about him, how he's getting on and if were still close. 

The truth is we haven't spoke since the last day of high school, but I keep up the act, answering their prying questions with a soft smile on my face. He's doing good, I usually answer. I'm not lying, from what I can tell he is doing good, amazing even if you look at it from the college dream perspective. 

No one ever asks how I'm doing, they're just curious about the towns golden boy who disappeared the second school was out. Never returning during any breaks from college life. He simply just up and left. Not even savings a second to say goodbye to anyone, except for me. 

I cant tell if this was worse or better, it kind of gave me a false sense of hope, he said goodbye to me and no one else, surely that means something. It didn't. 

In a way I'm kind of glad that they're only curious about him, you see when they ask how he is I don't have to lie, it may not be a full truth but its not a lie. If they asked how I am though, the smile would be far too forced, a toothy one that I am all too conscious of. 

The first time I was returning home I had over thought my replies far too much, only to realise no one cared anyway. I was always Jeons best friend, the hopeless girl who would follow him around with hearts in her eyes, much like a lost puppy. Never my own person, never anyone to be concerned about. Even my mother loved Jeon more. He was the son she never had. The golden child she had always wanted. 

I suspect that she knows I don't talk to him anymore, the depression I fell into after he left was far too telling. Yet she still asks about him, still insists on me taking extra food back to college with me in case he isn't eating properly. She always packs all of his favourite foods, never mine. Never anything I ask for. 

It was a shock to  me when I realised he went to the same school as me. I was overjoyed. Thinking that it must have been fate, destiny had brought us back together. 

That hope died along with my lingering feelings for him when we bumped into each other and he acted like I didn't exist. Just some random girl on campus who couldn't watch where she was going. 

I still remember the pain in my chest when he scowled at me, I could distantly hear some girls snickering at my audacity to bump into 'the Jeon Jungkook'. But it was all muted out by the sound of his heavy footsteps walking away from me. Walking right into the arms of the prettiest girl I have ever seen. 

Her name is Jennie. I've come to learn that she's not only gorgeous but also smart and the sweetest person you'll ever meet. She's honestly perfect. God. I'd date her if I could. But she's only got eyes for Jungkook. 

If I'm being honest, and get over the childish resentment I have towards the idea they'd be the perfect couple. The thing with Jungkook is that he never dates. Not even someone like Jennie. 

He's completely open about this, letting every girl he starts something with know that it wont go any further than a friends with benefits situation, they always think they'll be the one to change him though. 

He cant really be blamed when they get their hearts broken, he was upfront from the beginning, they just refused to listen. I wouldn't say they can be to blame either though, everybody I've ever known has loved Jungkook, its almost impossible not to. I suppose I know this better than anyone. A living and breathing example that you cant be close to him without falling for him. 

But now here I am, resenting everything to do with him. I wasn't upset at him for leaving, I understood that, but everyday of summer that I didn't hear from him buried me deeper into my hurt and anger.

He still had a phone, it didn't have to be the end of our friendship. Seeing him again just cemented this. He was so cold to me, I suppose I get it. He has a new life now, new friends. I guess I'm so hurt because he was all I had and it turns out I was nothing to him. 

I had learned to be content with this. Keeping everything and everyone that has anything to do with him far, far away from me. It was a difficult task but a one I felt I had to do for my own sanity. Yet it was all in vain. All the friends I could've had, all the parties I could've attended, all lost for nothing. 

Because now here I'm sat in my stupid art class next to no one other than Jeon Jungkook. How cliché, being paired up with you childhood best friend who you were madly in love with. 

We've been assigned to take candid picture of our partners and make 5 pieces out of them. all with different emotions in mind and all in different mediums. We've been allowed free rein on this project. However, we will be deducted points if our professor doesn't think our pictures are spontaneous enough or don't show enough emotion. She also is expecting all our pieces to match up with the others, so in total  she wants 10 pieces that represent both of our styles but can also all go together as one project. She's given us all a polaroid camera each, its honestly all so perfect. 

This would usually be my wet dream. I'm allowed to do whatever I like on 5 completely separate projects. But the brooding presence beside me is damping the whole experience for me.  

I'm quite surprised when she tells us this will be our last project of the year, giving us 5 months to complete it. She informs us that it will be 60% of our final grade and she wants us to go big for all 5 of the pieces. 

I can tell other people are stressed by this from all of the muttering around the room but I honestly couldn't think of anything better. 5 months to express myself through my art anyway that I like. I can already feel the ideas rushing to me. 

From an artist perspective I can kind of see me being paired with Jungkook as a blessing. If I have to channel all my emotions into my art I can't think of a better person to do it through. However, as the petty person I am I couldn't be more annoyed. I can tell he's pissed off too, he still has the same habits, I could read his body language with my eyes closed. 

It kind of hurt, I cant lie, I know why I'm upset but is it really so bad for him to be paired up with me? Is he scared I'll ruin the pretty little reputation he's maintained here. It's honestly baffling how much one person can change. He never care what people thought of us before but now he cant even bare being paired up with me. He used to beg our teachers to put us together at school. 

He finally looks at me, a scowl evident on his face, I don't want to be paired up with you either, dickhead. 'I'll ask if there's anyway we can swap.' 

It's strange, the way my heart hurts at this, much like when he first left, or when he ignored me. It's silly, I didn't want to be paired up with him either. 'whatever.'

I'm already packing my things up to leave the class room when our professor starts talking again. 'Oh and one last thing, under no circumstances are you allowed to switch partners. I want this project to be as authentic as possible, I chose people you aren't friends with on purpose, I want you to learn about each other and to show that in your art. I want it to tell a story.'

It's like she's staring directly at me and Jungkook, 'For fuck sake.' Is all I hear him say before I leave the classroom. 

'Hey, wait up.' Jeon grabs my arm, forcing me to face him. I haven't looked him in the eyes since I first bumped into him. The temptation to walk away from him just like he did to me is immensely strong. 'We should at least exchange numbers for the project.' 

He sounds far to annoyed to my ears and it ticks me off even more. 'You're such a cunt.' Ripping my arm away from him I go to make my exit again. Call me dramatic but this is the first time we've talked since he left and I cant help but be a little bit pissy with him. God, he even deleted my number. 

'What the fuck is that meant to mean.' Oh, he's seething . Good. 

'Are you serious right now?' 

'No.' he deadpans. god this boy infuriates me. 'Of course, I'm serious. What is your problem.'

'You're my problem. You and your stupid better than thou act.' It comes out as a laugh. An angry one. 

'Look, I don't know why you're so mad at me, but you're going to have to get over it if were going to pass this class.' It's a reasonable point ill give him that. But really, he doesn’t know why i’m mad at him? That HAS to be a joke.

Sighing I decide to compromise, 'Just message me on Instagram, or did you delete that too?' It's petty I know, but I had to get it out.

'I'll message you later.' Completely ignoring my childish remark, he begins walking in the opposite direction. Being the one who gets to walk away yet again.

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a/n: and it begins 🤭

[matthewmurdockswife]

Hello!! Could you please do one where Tony Stark is the readers dad and he finds her SH?? Thank you!

Iron brusies x tony stark (platonic)

Tw: self harm, depictive description of cutting, anxiety attack, hitting,

a/n : guys im always here to talk feel free to talk to me about anything at anytime good or bad my messages are and will always be open you can even send me a anonymous message in the req box if thats what you need to do Talk to me or a friend theres always someone there for you if you look hard enough I promise

I never felt like enough, which is unexpected when you’re constantly put out into the media and are being portrayed as “the happiest person alive” everyone wants my life many envy my family and my life style but not very many people understand it, and I mean truly understand it. Underneath the media personality I had to put on as an avengers daughter and a future avenger hid many scars.

It started a few years ago on accident I was shaving my legs when I accidentally sliced myself. But my reaction wasnt the same as it used to be, instead of being upset I was relieved. It felt like an escape and from that moment foward it felt impossible to stop

“ hey kiddo” My dad walked over to me while I leant against the kitchen island “hey” I remained looking at my phone my voice was faltering and was sure to give me away I didnt need my dad knowing about how I felt. If I ever wanted to be an avenger I cant have problems like this I cant let anyone see me weak.

He had stopped his movements, looking at me he reached out to touch my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me he always seemed to know something was up. without looking I pushed off the island without a glance or a word. I couldnt let him see me break. No one can see me break.

Everything felt out of control, my world was spiralling and so I went to the one thing that put me in control. My razor blades. I took the elevator up to the secluded floor I knew what I was doing in order for me to not get caught I had to think smart. I had this memorized, never say where your going, never go to that floor with another avenger and never use your own room.

I told friday the floor number remaining as composed as possible the cracks in my voice a dead giveaway “ mrs stark are you alright your blood pressure and heart rate have dramatically increased” taking a deep breath I reply to the ai “im fine fri” using an irritated tone in an attempt to conceal how im crumbling apart “ are you sure mrs stark? I can contact your father if needed” fridays tone questioning and concerned “im fine friday im just not feeling well” And I darted out of the elevator the moment the doors where opened

I opened the drawer containg the one thing I needed my razor as I smashed it against the floor over and over again until the metal blades broke free and I grabbed one and pushed it into my leg letting the metal drag across my skin. The blood dripping down my leg.

my hands shook and my body trembled one more I told myself each time. one more and ill be okay one more I kept repeating it over and over again in my head like a melody, a mantra like a prayer for help

my hands shook I felt my mind scream a blood curdling scream when I heard the thing I dreaded most. a knock on the door “hey kiddo you alright friday said you felt sick do you need anything can I come in”

i was panicking i thought i had this covered i thought i could be smooth about this i thiught i coukd do this and no one would know the thought of my father finding out about me about what i am what i do what ive become is enough to start sending me into a anxiety attack “ im about to have a shower” my voice was faulty and a dead give away and i covered my mouth trying to stop the broken sobs from escaping my lips anymore then they already had .” dont lie to me friday said your heart reate was through the rough whats going on kiddo” I let a sob escape my mouth but quickly covered it I heard a sigh and then a click

the door had been opened it was my greatest nightmare my breathing quicked as I lunged full force at the door trying to keep my dad out but he had had the advantage he was standing I was flipped onto my stomach as he pushed open the door once again

“ why are you on the floor kiddo c’mon stand up” he reached under my bicep as attempt to help lift me up “ NO” I screamed ripping my arm from his grasp looking up face stained in tears my dad’s expression written of pure shock guilt washed over me my emotions reaching an all time new high

I felt that drowning feeling begin again in my chest and then in my stomach and the voices in my brain began chanting on how I had messed this up, how it was all over, how I was worthless.Any negative comment anyones made on me being thrown at me by my own mind I scrambled to sit up against the tub holding my legs to my chest gasling hard for air. I was having an anxiety attack in front kd my dad who sat there eyes wide motiomless and wearing a shocked expression he came to sit down next tk me stroking my back while I sobbed wildy he pulled me into his chest while I fought against him throwing weak haphazard punches and his shoulder screaming kicking and crying to be let go off but he knly held me tighter and stroked my hair gently shishing me quieting my cries as he had done when i was younger to console me .

only then did I relax into his embrace

only then did I allow myself to be vulnerable

only then did he notice the multitudeof faded and fresh marks on my legs including the ones I had just freshly reopened

only then was I honest and opened up about the past two years of hell I went through

only then did I begin to see my dad differently as someone who understood what I had gone through because he had gone through it himself. I gained a new appreciation for my father that day, I’ve never been better and I owe it all to him

A/n

girlie im so sorry i didnt even see this lol sorry It took me so long to get around to. anywho sorry if this wasnt what you meant also sorry if this is bad its like 1 am my eyes are burning 🤭 love you guys never be scared to reach out for help, and always drink your water <3 bye loves