#and i can't help but be long winded

[wastemanjohn]

hi hello this is late so consider it surrogate fatherfucker saturday………. how do you suppose the first deanbobby kiss goes. is it on a visit while john steps out of the room. do they only manage it after they’ve already hooked up a few times. does bobby freak out. <3

SURROGATE FATHERFUCKER SATURDAY! SATURDAY IS DEANBOBBY DAY IT IS DECREED...

... even though i'm posting this on tuesday

i'm actually of the view that kissing would be a big part of what they have going on. from the get go. bc dean like - canonically LOVES kisses. sure he perves on barely legal cheerleaders and creeps on his little brother's girlfriend because he's a Red Blooded Male and all that (and don't challenge him on that or he'll rearrange your face okay). but that Red Blooded Man also really wants to kiss 🥺 he wants the intimacy 🥺 do u see me will u kiss me am i worth something 🥺

so it makes sense to me that dean would initiate this for the first time - and i can't see a plausible scenario where dean wouldn't be the one to initiate this - with a kiss. he feels safe around bobby. he has a fuckton of affection for bobby. he wouldn't see bobby the same way as the truckers and drifters he fucks in bathroom stalls on the road because they won't ever kiss him at all. bobby's practically family and nothing ranks higher for dean than family. he's got a different special place in dean's heart.

as for when it happens - i think long before anything else. i think it would be entirely impulsive and i don't think dean would realise he was going to do it or even wanted to do it until it happened. maybe he's a confused teen and dad is mad at him again and he's sitting with bobby out on the porch drinking a beer bobby has allowed him to have because he's upset and everything is so overwhelming but bobby is being so nice to him and he's lonely right maybe he'd like a kiss? dean would. he's lonely too. and tbh i don't see it happening much differently when dean's an adult. he is deep down a little boy who needs a father. and i think he never stops being prone to confusion about the people in his life and what they are or should be to him. not even in a shippy way more broadly. bro just has no idea what a healthy relationship looks like.

would bobby freak out? i think internally. i think especially if dean was still a teen or something he'd have an easier time pushing it to one side and thinking alcohol/daddy issues/confusion or whatever. i don't think he'd ever bring it up. i don't think he'd ever forget it though. at first it would disturb and bother him. at first he might start avoiding dean or distancing himself, not even on purpose but just because what the fuck was that and he's subconsciously trying to protect himself from dean's fuckery. but also - yeah, bobby is really fucking lonely. no one has kissed him in years. dean *never* crossed his mind before, not like that. but bobby cant stop thinking about how that kiss felt, how it felt to be kissed *at all*, and maybe he starts to. and - because i really do think bobby has this conceited adjacent view of himself as dean's actual father - that's when he'd start to freak out.

[adraarts]

...Warning. The following information is classified... Subject SS04: Simela Simeonidis Age: 28 Gender: Female (She/Her) Nun of the Eye of Michael & Gung Ho Gun The Dragon "...Subject was scouted from the orphanage in December for Sister Mirofora's Melee Weapons Project. The fourth subject and only successor to survive and achieve outstanding results from The Spear's training regimens, programs and testing..." ...Error. Board clearance required to read further information. Access denied...

Character Information Spotify Playlist O.C Tag Please click on the images for full view and the ALT text for a little bit more information! Further artists notes beneath the cut!

PLEASE NOTE: - That the head scarf that my O.C is wearing on her head is known as an 'epimandylion', otherwise known as the 'apostolnik'. A lot of her imagery is drawn upon Christian Eastern Orthodoxy (Particularly the Greek Branch). E.g. Her gun lance, Ascalon, named after the spear that Saint George used to slay the dragon. - While the only thing separating Simela's appearances between her Trigun: Maximum/Trigun: 1998 and Trigun: Stampede looks is the Eye of Michael symbol on her nun's habit for Trigun: Stampede, the difference is mainly in the personality. In Trigun: Maximum/Trigun: 1998 she is a lot more reserved with her true emotions, thoughts and feelings, she is a lot more cold. In Trigun: Stampede, she is very open with her thoughts, feelings and emotions, and actively goes out of her way to be assertive and stand up for herself. Not to say that her Trigun: Maximum/Trigun: 1998 self doesn't, it's just that the Trigun: Stampede version is more extroverted and a little bit more brash.

But boy.

What a passion project this was.

I feel like I don't have the words to accurately describe how much this O.C has healed me.

This whole thing was almost a years worth of progress, and one of the many contributions involved in my journey of falling in love with art again and wanting to draw more after many years of not drawing and/or being inconsistent and unhappy with my art. Making Simela after a particularly rough December 2022, and discovering Trigun in 2023, was what I needed. I needed to make an O.C that was equal parts me and the things that I loved; The NieR series, One Piece, Pontic-Greek culture, Greek culture, Dragoons from the Final Fantasy series, strong female characters, the list goes on. There was a time in my life where I was made to feel ashamed for putting cultural and ethnic aspects of myself into my O.C's; what representation was for me out there, as a person of Greek background, in anime? None. This is where my Trigun O.C came in and turned my goddamn life on my head! Thick brows? Check. Dark, thick hair? Check. Hip dips? Fuck yeah!

Making and further developing this O.C (Along with being in the Trigun space in general) has made me discover parts of myself that I otherwise would have never known of/discovered. Fuck, Trigun made me write again freely without any restrictions or rules, it made me make art again.

Thank you Trigun, and the people I have met in the fandom ;v;/

[fictionadventurer]

It turns out the most fun way to engage with Barchester Towers is to map the characters on to other characters/people from the future that Trollope couldn't have known about.

Dr. Grantley = Squidward (ambitious, a bit pretentious/likes the finer things in life, tries for dignity but is easily angered)

Mr. Harding = Winnie the Pooh (sweet and small and simple and friendly and likes his little songs)

Mrs. Proudie = Mrs. Oleson (very opinionated domineering wife)

Mr. Slope = Rasputin (oily guy who uses spirituality to prey upon women and gain power)

[becauseplot]

*returns to yours* I HAVE THOUGHTS! NOT COHERENT ONES TOO SLEEPY AND NEED TO SAVE COHERENCY BUT THOUGHTS!!! MOSTLY ABOUT ISLAND TEAPARTIES AFTER THE KIDS ARE ASLEEP WHERE CELLBIT AND PHILZA DRINK TEA AND PHILZA TEACHES CELLBIT ABOUT STARS AND CELLBIT SLOWLY GETS BACK INTO HIS ENIGMAS AND THEY BOTH BITCH ABOUT TEA BUT DRINK IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IT HAS GOOD STATS

YEAAH!! YEAHHH!!! Okay okay okay so I meant to ramble more earlier when you initially responded to my ask and then I got sleepy and conked out and now it's super early for me, nailed it lmaooo. so anyway just like a couple things i noticed abt this scene *rolls out a scroll of notes, the bottom hits the floor and bounces out the door cartoon-style*

Chayanne gives Cellbit a rose!! Idk if Rose still has influence here (I'll have to sift through Phil's VOD to see if he says anything abt Rose, yesterday I mainly watched Cellbit's POV) but he's protected now!! That kinda folds him into Phil's "closer" circle of friends/family since it's primarily them who carries the roses for protection so!!!!! I'm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE TEA!! Yes the tea the way the tea immediately broaches the topic of purgatory, and yeah the audible wince in Phil's voice after Cellbit says the tea triggers him and Phil agrees. Yeah it's so shit and they're both so sick of it but it's so OP. Phil survivalist (hardcore) :handshake: Cellbit survivalist (hunger games/"The War"), do and use what is necessary to keep yourself alive.

And AAA!! Yes, okay okay so like you remember that idea abt Phil and Cellbit having late-night convos at the Order pre-purgatory? This is basically that!! It's late at night, they're getting caught up with each other, they've both got the shitass tea and it's going cold and!! In my head this scene goes on for a full night and they just sit and talk and talk and talk, eventually conking out when it's late, just like old times EXCEPT THEY HAVE THEIR KIDS NOW WHICH IS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT BROUGHT THEM TOGETHER, THEIR DESIRE TO FIND THEIR KIDS, AND THEY FOUND THEM!!! (I should write a fic i NEED to write a fic, me vs the 754389 wips in my brain; in my head they still had late night convos in purgatory when their "play time" timers lined up, phil waking up early enough and cellbit staying up late enough for them to talk while the others slept)

The way Cellbit still minces his words abt what he and Bags did post-purg 1 "we had our fun...bolas...style..." is it because he thinks Phil will think less of him? because there's children present? because his SON is present? idk how much Richas knows abt what Cellbit did in purgatory, Richas *did* rescue him while he was fighting eye workers but does he know about Cellbit hunting fellow players for sport? what Cellbit did to his pai Pac? I NEED ANSWERS

Phil's "Dude! No! Oh my god... D:" to when Cellbit says Roier was better off without him. PHIL WAS AT THEIR WEDDING. HE TOOK THE GODDAMN PHOTOS OF THEM AT THEIR WEDDING. HE SAW HOW HAPPY THEY WERE, HOW HAPPY ROIER WAS, WHEN THEY WERE REUNITED IN PURGATORY. Phil isn't close enough to Roier nor speaks to him enough to really understand the full extent of Roier's grief after purgatory 1, but it's gotta be hard for Phil to imagine Roier happy with Cellbit gone. Whether he believes it when Cellbit says "yeah Roier told me he was better" (doied WHEN I GET YOU---) is up for debate but I think about this constantly.

Phil fucking laughing when Cellbit admits he ate some of the eye workers fhdjsk. I can't get over the combo of Cellbit POV (in character thinking: "I'm terrible I'm a cannibal I'm a monster") vs Philza POV (cc who laughs at everything that is even remotely cursed) honestly, taking this as in-character (bc ccPhil doesn't mute his mic to laugh and he...usually does that for ooc bits while in the middle of rp), it says a lot abt qPhil that he's able to just laugh abt an admission of eating corpses. ethics who? geneva convention who? qPhil doesn't know her. munch on those eye workers king they're dickheads. (fuck, DOES qPhil know that Cellbit is a cannibal, as in, he has eaten not just workers but other players?? hmmm...)

"I'm sorry I couldn't do much as bolas leader" "It's better that you didn't see us...I think you'll be disappointed" "oh I could never be disappointed what do you mean shut up *laughs*" GODDDDDDDD also Cellbit trying to say he got worse after purg 1 and Phil saying "nah bolas is already at ground level" (either not understanding or indirectly reiterating that he won't condemn Cellbit for his actions, I can't tell) and then Cellbit just,, going with it. because it's not worth it to argue and he's trying to move past all of that now anyway. (QCELLBIT PROCESS YOUR TRAUMA CHALLENGE LEVEL IMPOSSIBLE)

watching Phil's POV now and HFDJSK you can't hear it on Cellbit's stream but Phil catches Richas as they're both leaving and says quietly, "Take care of your dad, Richas, n' take care." I'M 💥💥💥💥 (<-banging table)

Anyway!! This is what happens when the two characters I'm obsessed with interact for the first time in months. Over-analyzing a 5 minute convo. Sorry, it will happen again :] Praying they stay as neighbors I'd love to see archivists have more interactions!! And yes yes yes yes the tea parties with the kids!! Phil routinely chatting with Cellbit and watching him slowly "regain his color" as he settles back into peaceful life post-purgatory, falls in love with enigmas again. They've always trusted each other when they don't trust themselves, and they're both a Stable Point for the other. I'll miss what we never got to have with the leaders-of-the-Order-having-meetings ideas (timezones, wails) but I'm so excited for new island mysteries!! :D

[cuchufletapl]

It does fuck me up a little that in episode 147 of Hunter x Hunter not only do they change the ending back to Reason (a song about Gon and Killua's friendship from Gon's perspective), but they also edit the song differently than how they did for the GI arc, so that as we see Gon and Killua sadly turn away from each other and walk away, it starts slow and ever so sorrowful with these fucking lines

I’m right here, by your side, I’m the closest I can be

And I’m fine, I’m content with this arrangement for now

Please tell me gently the rest of your dreams

That you started telling me one day long ago.

Like what the fuck. What the hell dude. Why would the anime directors do this to me, specifically.

[trashlie]

Manifesting Stalkyoo~

Just to get it out of the way: PLEASE KNOW THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN! I don’t want anyone to take this in a weird way or like it’s some ridiculous demand I’m making lmao. I’ve just been having a delightful time talking to other Stalkyoo shippers and just romanticizing silly things we want to see so again: THIS IS JUST FOR FUN! I know fandom has been weird about shipping stuff because of the... ugly past lol so I feel a weird need to remind people that my shipping is just secondary enjoyment of ILY and that I will continue to love and read ILY wherever it goes. 

With that out of the way lol please also note there are spoilers all the way up to 224, so if you don’t FP episodes, this post is not safe for you! (unless you like spoilers. i don’t judge people, I like spoilers, too) 

Look, I’m not good at writing fanfiction. I’d love to, but I always feel like it’s difficult for me to portray characters the way the original writer does. I think about it, every now and then, dabble in a little idea, something I might like to see, before the storyline plays out in a different way, but I just never trust myself, so this is about the closest I ever get to that. And even still, I think of these little musings, these silly little “oh I’d love to see ______” very inline with fanfiction, wherein I acknowledge that what I’m hoping for or imagining is very likely to not happen. It’s just the fun of exploring story and the what-if’s and little AU tangents where ONE little thing tweaks. 

For me, the fun of shipping is just playing with those character dynamics, which is another reason fic is so difficult for me - I enjoy my pairings, my characters, within their circumstances. That’s not to say AU fics are unfathomable to me (I LOVE THEM), but more so that it’s hard to write something knowing that I don’t know everything, that quimchee will pull out a surprise and I’ll be like oh my god I should have realized! And again, I guess that’s where musing is fun. You get to play out those little what if’s for yourself, get to imagine a scenario that probably will never come to pass. That’s the fun of fic + canon, to me! Not once has quimchee done something with her characters and their story that really surprised me in an “oh i don’t like this” kind of way. I can say “Oh I’d love to see xyz scenario play out” but when instead abc plays out, I’m not mad. 

I also fully admit that I tend to compartmentalize my shipping thoughts and whims separately from my general commentary, and I guess for the previously mentioned reasons: this fandom has an ugly, nasty past with shipping and even still, there are a lot of people who demand romance from ILY and don’t seem to care about the actual story at play or even weirder, seem to think that it detracts from the romance they think should be happening???? (”when is she going to choose one of the brothers it’s been so many years and episodes waaaah) And I guess, yeah, I get a little self-conscious, because (and this is feels so embarrassing to actually word) I acknowledge a lot of people read my commentary and my opinions! And I’m so happy for that, I love being so communal with everyone! But I do get worried someone is going to take something out of context and be like “omg can you believe she’s one of those weirdo romance demanders” or something lmao, hence this weird long useless diatribe. But yeah, basically, I’ve been talking with people lately and god just thinking about my shippy feels and how much I love the current story - one step forward, three steps back; the struggles to open up; the struggles to deal with feelings in the face of much heavier, scarier elements; etc. etc.

Sometimes you just wake up and you’re like: I WANNA SCREAM ABOUT STALKYOO so you do it because you have a birdbrain and you know is screaming afljkfkjafkjakfjaf LMAO 

If you’re reading this, chances are you aren’t new to my blog so you’ve probably read the likes of my Foundations of Stalkyoo, Why I Ship Stalkyoo, and Further Thoughts on Stalkyoo (I just never shut up huh) posts, so I’ll try not to like, completely repeat everything but if it happens well. It can’t helped, can it? lol 

Anyway something I’ve been talking and thus thinking a lot about is where we stand with Stalkyoo, now that we are getting more confirmation of actual budding feelings. I always reiterate that anything can change, but I also like to remind myself that something quimchee has said in the past (and this is loosely paraphrased) is that whenever it does come to a pairing, it will be made obvious before it gets there, because this is NOT a primarily romance-focused story which means there aren’t as many storylines that deal with just the will-they/won’t-they and the likes, and I think likewise, there won’t be a real love triangle the way most fans tend to think of them. So often a love triangle gets boiled down to someone being torn between two people for whatever reason and i just don’t get the sense we’ll be seeing that? Thus, I do feel like we might well be moving into a territory where we will see some kinds of scenes setting up, or maybe better put, enabling the possibility of a relationship between Shinae and Nol? 

But first. I always say I don’t really try to predict things because I’m always proven wrong, but I still like to try for fun lol, just because that’s part of the joy of reading an on-going story, I think! I’ve waffled a lot on it, but I still feel like when we reach our big time skip (not the first one taking us to graduation, but rather the one that jumps us a few years ahead), there has to be a REASON. Narratively it’s hard to imagine what that reason might be beyond the likelihood that we’ll see our three main characters on separate paths. It’s the only thing that makes sense, because otherwise you end up with a lot of story happening off page, right? If Shinae were to go to Japan with Kousuke, we’d end up missing their reconciliation and Kousuke earning her trust (or if it were to go the opposite, becoming cold acquaintances). Thus, I think Kousuke will go to Japan, but Shinae will take Rand’s advice begrudgingly and take up Yui on her “offer, while Nol will probably go to college abroad. He wasn’t denied admission to Oxford - it’s just not guaranteed there will be a spot for him. 

I know people take umbrage with the idea of Shinae taking up Yui’s offer, but hear me out. I don’t think it’s meant to turn Shinae into some kind of conniving, cunning person in the likes of Yui, as much as just introduce her to this world, give her a better understanding of how people in this society and business work and thus, start to get an idea of how Yui works. While I don’t think it’s easy to ever be one step ahead of Yui, I do think developing an understanding of her world helps to at least defend herself from Yui - start to see traps in advance and how to avoid them, find ways to evade her clutches, that kind of thing. I do think the idea of Yui holding that over Shinae’s head is terrifying and it’s feels more dangerous than going to Japan with Kousuke, BUT again, the idea is that she would become better equipped to defend herself and fight back. 

Of course, I don’t think Shinae in this moment is prepared to make that choice, and it may be a choice that comes after Yujing’s big scoop is revealed. Perhaps realizing how much more dangerous and powerful Yui (and the Kims) is would make her see what Rand was trying to tell her. I think she hasn’t fully figured out just what is going on with Yui and Rand, either - why would he be pushing her against his wife? But I think the information Yujing has compiled could help her see that bigger picture. If someone like Rand has spent twenty-five years struggling in this battle with her, how could Shinae ever hope to stand against her with even less understanding, with no sense of WHO Yui is or what makes her tick. 

The thing about this that I always struggle with is: how would Nol regard that? We know he feels vehemently about Alyssa idolizing Yui and taking advantage of her connection to the Hiraharas - and yet he stayed with her, knowing that she benefits from him (but that he does, as well). Would he feel the same, if he found out who was enabling Shinae to go to school? Would they talk about it, since Shinae knows how he feels about it? Would he be able to understand, when even he himself doesn’t seem to realize that his father finds himself trapped by the Hiraharas? That’s... stuff I can’t try to predict, because I think everything is possible. 

I promise I’ll get to that a little more.

The narrative benefit of separating the main characters is, of course, that first off, no major development happens where we can’t watch it. Sure, they’ll go about their lives and things will happen, but I don’t expect it to be major things that would make us go WAIT WHAT?! Otherwise, what brings us back itnto the story after time passes? For a long time my idea was that they’d all go their separate ways and maybe even their relationships would be a little damaged, so that when they come back into each others’ lives, part of the story is recovering that, reconciling with the past and maybe finding new futures together. 

Especially regarding Nol and Shinae, I’d wondered if we would see him leave without reconciling with his friends, and that we’d see him and Shinae meet again after some years and Shinae would have to contend with their unresolved past, with feelings she never had a chance to really identify, let alone explore, and the aching beauty of having to figure out who each other after now that they’ve grown and changed, and if there is room in each others’ lives for one another, if they fit in with who they’ve become. And don’t get me wrong - i do like that kind of bittersweet ache, haunted by the ghosts of what never came to be, having to relearn each other. But the more I’ve talked about this (especially a lot with @bittrbuttr, the more I realized that’s not exactly what I want with them. 

Like, it’s good and achey, it really pulls at your heartstrings. But I think that better suits an actual romance story, where the focus of the story and plot is on those feelings and untangling them, on finding their ways back to each other. I don’t think that’s the story of ILY, though. 

I keep dancing around my point and I apologize, but we all know I’m nothing if not circuitous and I promise we’ll get there! 

Here’s the thing: we know that Nol and Shinae are not in the space to become romantically involved. The feelings are there. They are drawn to each other, we know Nol finds comfort and peace in Shinae and that he always struggles to really push her away. We know that Shinae cares so deeply about him that no matter how much he hurts her, she still wants to try, she still wants to be there for him. I find the hope-tinged pain of 223 really poignant in that way - she wanted to SEE HIM, in a moment that was so special, she wanted to share that joy and get a glimpse at who he REALLY is, and he was unable to do that for her. But still she hopes for the best, still she intends to keep trying, to be as persistent as he was, even if she has to find a different approach. 

They are so important to each other, and I’m hoping that might be a catalyst? 

I understand what Nol’s struggle is. It isn’t easy to be vulnerable, to feel weak, especially when those parts of him have been used against him the last 6 years of his life. He is full of so much self-loathing and isn’t comfortable with his own weakness and vulnerability, thus he can’t show it to Shinae, he doesn’t want her to see him like that. He’d rather let her think he just doesn’t need to see what exists between them, that he doesn’t need to see her indulging because it’s enough to just bring her joy - and that itself hurts enough! But I want him to at least be honest about it - tell her that you don’t want her to see that part of you. Will it change things? Probably not significantly, but it puts her one step closer to understanding doesn’t it? 

And so the thinking is - or rather, the hope - is that maybe Nol will realize this? 

We see some of it in 224. Upon Dieter’s arrival, instead of a hey welcome back or anything, it’s an immediate “Did you bump into Yoo?” and when Dieter reassures him that she’s fine, it’s just stuffy, he knows a. it’s not fine and b. he feels bad. I think he felt that regret immediately, when he noted that she’s angry and he took off the blindfold and she wasn’t there. Nol is so used to pushing people away, it’s his first line of defense, but when it works? When he succeeds at driving that wedge? Again it’s that battle of will vs want - he thinks that pushing her away is the right thing to do for her sake, but he doesn’t ACTUALLY want it. 

It’s so difficult to go back to how things used to be having gotten a taste of something better. It’s so difficult to push out everyone when you’ve allowed yourself to indulge in being loved and cared about, and and I think that’s what Nol’s biggest hurdle is. 

Don’t get me wrong; there’s a lot of hurdles with him lol and clearing one doesn’t exactly make the others any easier to clear. But something we’ve seen from Shinae and that I think the story has tried to impress upon is that things are easier when we aren’t alone. Burdens shared are burdens that weigh a little less. We’ve Shinae and her father talking about being a team - about sharing that burden so it’s not so hard for just one of them and distributing that burden more easily. We’ve seen it in Shinae opening up about her problems with her friends, her insecurities that made her doubt her friendships. Her realization that as scary as situation as her sister breaking into her home was, it was made more bearable with a ragtag group of goofs who will protect her. 

Nol needs to learn to share that burden. He’s spent so long treating himself like an island, he hasn’t had the opportunity to remember that it’s easier to endure something when you aren’t exhausted from shouldering that burden all by yourself. There is strength in numbers. He’s been so run ragged from just trying to endure, trying to get by, trying to survive and how is he to ever fight back against Yui when he’s exhausted just from treading waters? 

I mean, ultimately Nol needs to learn to love himself, but I think it’s easier to tackle allowing others to love him, first. Allowing himself to share the burden, to show those weaknesses and let people have his back. Be able to slump over and know that someone will help keep you standing, you know? And maybe through that, he can find it in him to start loving himself. Of course, he has other problems he needs to address; in order to love himself, he has to forgive himself, and I hope that Yujing’s article can help in that area. I’m sure he carries the guilt of his mother’s alleged suicide, and maybe he was even made to believe that. It wouldn’t surprise me if the time he spent in the mental facility only served to make him feel worse about his existence, made  him believe he was the root cause of the bad. Maybe even, like Nana, he had an argument with his mother before he death and felt that if they hadn’t argued, maybe she would never have made that choice?

Clearly that’s still a little complicated for us to fully dig into, but as horrible as learning that maybe her death was not a choice she made is to learn (I cannot imagine having made this peace with someone I loved reaching a point so dark they made that choice, only to find out that it was, possibly, murder. How do you deal with that? What do you do with all that new grief, that new anguish?), I think maybe, if he learned that she didn’t choose that, it might help free him from his shackles of guilt. 

But I think until he can learn to forgive himself, until he can make that peace, couldn’t letting people love him help? Wouldn’t it be better for him to move forward knowing that he has people who will not only defend him, but who can ease the weight of his burdens? 

As dramatic as Nol and Shinae separating on these rocky grounds, unable to fully reconcile, makes for a good, dramatic romance, I think it’s much better for Nol to move on as a team. To let himself rely on others isn’t something he can learn over night, of course, but isn’t it better for him to enter a scary phase of his life knowing that there ARE people who he can talk to about it? There ARE people he can eventually let see those weak parts of him? 

So my ultimate hope for Nol’s extension is that in that time, he and Shinae find that peace after all. I still can’t help but feel like the three-day-extension is significant, because why else include it, if it was to pass without event? Especially because, depending on how it works (is it 3 additional days INCLUDING the 22nd or 3 days extra, beginning the 23rd?) we’ll hit the holidays. That just feels... too significant, right? 

I want Nol to grapple with his feelings, let his fear take over a little. Is he really as ready to lose Shinae as he tries to be? He seemed to regret hurting her, hanging his head after Dieter reassured him she was fine, even though she refuses to come back in to the room. And I can’t help but feel like it’s significant that she’s still lingering in the waiting room. My thinking is that Nana will get involved - she knows that Nol is upset about someone, she knows other friends have been watching over him, she knows there’s a friend who isn’t coming back in. She can read him well, so it’s not like it’s difficult to read that maybe they had a fight, that he was brusque and brushed her off the way he tries to do even to Nana. Will she go out there to see who this friend is? Will they talk? I feel like they HAVE to - not just because the fandom has waited for it, but because I think Nana can probably glean that Shinae (”Yoo” lol) must be someone important, if he’s acting like that. 

And look. Did Nana see the blush? *I* saw the blush, I’m not getting over that. I’m sorry but he lmao pushed her away, regretted hurting her, and he’s still getting flustered because he pictured her mouth. BUDDYYYYYYYYYYYY. YOU’RE A MESS. 

I don’t expect her to fully intervene in like, trying to make things happen way lmao I think it’s more like... Nana knows better than anyone that Nol is a difficult person to love. I say this with affection, because it’s true. He pushes people away, he deflects from himself, he never opens up, it’s hard to read what’s going on in his head. And Nana also knows of the darkness that looms. She was right there when he pleaded guilty, concerned about his reasoning. She’s listened to him talk about how maybe everything would be better if he didn’t exist. She knows that the darkness has a strong grip on him. So who better than her to encourage Shinae, to thank her for her patience and tenacity, for sticking with Nol even with the way he acts? I’d like to see a little bit of that comfort between them, some reassurance that Shinae is, in fact, making the right choice. She oscillates so wildly between her extreme emotions; sadness and melancholy that caring is not enough and how it sometimes comes out as anger when she can’t find a better way to channel it. We know she doesn’t really regret planning that birthday celebration - she’s just hurt. And I think it would be a big help to have Nana tell her how much it means to see Nol with friends who care about him despite how prickly and difficult he is, how she worries about him and is glad there are people who care about him. I think it would really encourage Shinae that her resolve is right - that she just has to find another way to approach him, that it’s worth the effort. 

And at that same time, yes, I want Nol’s fear to kick his ass. I want him to realize he faces the very real reality of losing someone who cares so much about him, who is willing to put up with him because of how much she cares and how special she is to him - and that she wants him to see it, too. I want him to fear losing the comfort and peace she brings him. I want him to have to finally face head on his want vs what he thinks he deserves, and see what a future without someone like her is like. Can he bear to return to that kind of loneliness? Can he bear losing her concern? How it feels for her to take notice of him, to probe, to listen? 

Like, at the risk of getting really corny and dramatic, that’s what it comes down to. I don’t want Nol to come back in a few years and decide he’s ready to face all of that. I want him to move on from this point knowing he’s not alone. I want him to be able to face prison knowing that he’s not so alone, that there is someone who will always be there to support him. I think that’s what makes the most sense. Leaving on their current circumstances works great if it’s a romance and that’s the main story - but making up, talking, being honest? That makes more sense for THIS story, where Nol starts to grow NOW, where he starts to make those important steps that will help him find his way to healing, and more important, that will help him face the forces that taunt and haunt him.

He doesn’t have to be completely honest with Shinae, because I don’t think he’s ready. I don’t think he’ll tell her that his mother took her life, and that he believes it’s his fault. But I think it would be enough to tell her the truth he couldn’t stay to her face - that he doesn’t want her to see him like that, that it’s still hard for him to open up that way, that it’s still SCARY - but that he doesn’t want to push her away, that he’s sorry he keeps hurting her. We could even go more dramatic with a callback to the hospital scene - that he’s sorry he isn’t good enough and is undeserving of her (AND LET HER REASSURE HIM THAT’S NOT TRUE THAT HE IS). BUT JUST. IDK I WANT HIM TO FACE IT. ADMIT IT.

He doesn’t have to tell her he likes her. That’s fine. Just reiterate what she means to him! One moment he’s telling her she’s special to him, that he cares about her, next moment he’s telling her it’s okay he doesn’t have to look he’s fine like this. STOP JERKING HER AROUND ;~; lmao like don’t get me wrong. I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

But I also want to see them move into our time skips with a sense of understanding and peace, you know? I don’t want want Nol to face his fears alone anymore. I want him to let someone stand by his side. I want him to accept how good it feels to rest on her shoulder and know that it’s okay, she’s there.

I HAVE FEELINGS OKAY I JUST. I WANT THEM TO BE ABLE TO FIND T HAT STRENGTH IN EACH OTHER, TO BE STRONGER TOGETHER. 

And to call back to my earlier point lmao I like to think if they get to that point, then maybe he would understand, if Shinae accepts Yui’s offer. Maybe he would see how it’s different from Alyssa, that Shinae made a choice to protect herself, that it’s not about the idolatry, it’s not a self-serving choice, but one that protects her and enables her to fight back. Knowing that they are on the same side, that Shinae isn’t a doe-eyed naïve girl about to be taken advantage of again, but one who wants to fight back against the people who hurt her and others like her. 

We’re about halfway to 3/5 of the way into this story, and I think that’s a good point for Shinae and Nol to join forces. 

AndlookthisiscompletelydaydreamingbutiftherewasaChristmaskissIwouldcertainlynotobject

PLEASE I JUUUUUUUUUST i want to see them on the same page, I want to see them moving forward TOGETHER. I don’t want Nol to keep walking on his own. I don’t want him to just accept Shinae at his side, either; I want him to CHOOSE to let her choose his side. ;A; 

GOD. PLS. BARKS AT THE MOON I’m just ready for them to bE A TEAM I’M READY FOR NOL TO BE SELFISH AND TO GO AFTER WHAT HE WANTS I WANT HIM TO CHOOSE COMFORT AND SECURITY OVER PUNISHMENT I WANT HIM TO REALIZE THERE IS STRENGTH IN COMPANIONSHIP. I know being close to him puts her at risk - but he needs to see that no matter what, she’s at risk, and isn’t it better if she’s in danger with someone who can help, than to be all alone with it? I WANT HIM TO FACE THAT FEAR OF HIS AND FIND THAT MAYBE HIS DESIRE, HIS WANT, HIS NEEDS ARE EVEN BIGGER. That it’s better to find peace with her than spend the whole time afraid. Isn’t that the thing? He’s always afraid - afraid of someone else getting hurt, afraid of another opportunity being stolen away, afraid of the next time Yui will find a way to hurt him. BUT TO BE ABLE TO FIND COMFORT WITH SHINAE? 

Please. Just open up - be honest!!!!!!! But most importantly APOLOGIZE. Apologize for hurting her, apologize for pushing her away.

I realize, based on what she said on the hospital roof, that maybe he won’t make that choice, that maybe her persistence has to be a long game, that she does have to wait for him to forget to put the mask back on.

But wouldn’t it be so nice if he chose to move forward with her, instead of alone, to face their nightmare and battles together? ;~; 

[funforahermit]

so i've been following jessica lowe on instagram for a long while now, originally because i hoped to get some rhys shout-outs now and then since they're friends, but she's always just posting about her dog and her husband basically, and i always click through her stories real fast but i've still picked up on what her husband looks like by now. and today i just happened to rewatch the music video for desert sparrow's song karma, the one where rhys goes to find the sasquatch, and in which jessica plays the role of rhys' girlfriend/wife who cheats on him with another guy. a guy who, for the first time today, looked strangely familiar to me. and that's because he's played by her actual husband!! boom!

[soysaucevictim]

Gdi, during dishes - I had the mental image of the Dork Sides doing some headbanging.

No matter the iteration.

(And I have the mental image of Virgil doing the Angry Metalcore Crabwalk and I'm cracking tf up.)

[manebioniclegali]

Tip: if you're going to be using your phone at night, use a blue light filter. Don't make it harder on your brain to let sleep catch you. Typically any built-in eye comfort modes aren't going to be enough, because you need to be able to turn your brightness down more as well. I don't know what's out there for Apple, but I use Twilight on Android, and it works wonders. Been using it since 2015, and it's helped a lot. (On desktop, I use f.lux on candlelight, the darkest setting. I actually found them both from the same Tumblr post lol)

I use multiple alarms not particularly cuz I might sleep through them (although sometimes I do), but bc they help me wake up easier than just one. I allow myself time to snooze them and come to terms with being awake so that way, by the time the last one comes up, I'm (hopefully) ready to finally get out of bed. Not everyone has enough energy right when they wake up to pull themselves out of bed; sometimes they need like 45 minutes or more to adjust to a different state of consciousness

I think the eight alarms thing is usually a maladaptation. You've trained your brain to ignore the eight alarms because you kept avoiding the training of willpower following the first alarm would require. I think some sleep therapy might help?

Hey so first of all fuck you, thanks.

Second: I love it when you read literature on sleep disorders, especially if it's on sleep disorders among folks with ADHD, and you see time and time again "when allowed to sleep on their preferred schedule subjects maintained healthy, normal, restorative sleep cycles" and "effects were not lasting without ongoing intervention; resetting the sleep schedule is a permanent effort."

Like, if I sleep *great* from 6am to 2pm and I wake up feeling rested and alert with no special help but I need to turn off the lights in my house and shut down all electronics at 8pm and beam a spotlight into my face starting at 5am to wake up at seven and feel exhausted all day, I think perhaps it is not actually my sleep cycle that is wrong it is perhaps society that is wrong.

BELIEVE ME, when I find the job that pays well and has decent insurance that lets me exist as a cheerful nighttime ghoul I am jumping on that with both feet. But until then I literally feel better getting six hours of sleep and occasionally sleeping so hard that i can't hear my alarms because of chronic sleep deprivation than I do turning off all the lights in my house and ceasing all activity two and a half hours after I get off of work.

Also: the eight alarms aren't all there to wake me up, it's just that sometimes I *also* sleep through the ones that are supposed to remind me to go sit at my desk and start work. One of the first three usually gets me up, but on a day when I sleep through all three of those I will be sleeping through all eight of them and usually a phone call and someone trying to shake me awake to.

ANYWAY after being treated with melatonin and light therapy and staring listlessly at the ceiling in the dark bored out of my skull with racing thoughts for sleep disorders that I didn't have for like twenty years the single most effective intervention that allowed me to get more sleep as someone with both ADHD and DSPD was to start hanging out and being active in places where it would be easy to fall asleep if the sleep caught me there instead of turning my bedroom into a dark, silent shrine of snoozing. Giving myself permission to fall asleep late instead of laying awake chewing myself up with guilt for not being asleep helped too.

Actually here's some tips for the sleepy bitches in the crowd:

1 - If you're laying down and not falling asleep in half an hour, you're not actually sleepy; read something or get up and do something because you're more likely to get sleepy faster that way than you are staring at the clock going "if I fall asleep now I'll have three hours and forty five minutes of rest when I have to go to work; If I fall asleep now I'll have three hours and twenty minutes of sleep when I have to get up, etc. etc."

2 - Allow yourself to be ambushed by sleep. Fall asleep on your cozy couch. Fall asleep in the comfy chair. Let yourself sleep where you fall asleep instead of dragging yourself to where you're 'supposed' to sleep if doing so will wake you up.

3 - The mythbusters thing. If you just lay down and close your eyes and pretend to rest you will feel more rested when you get up than when you laid down. Laying down to rest is better than nothing, it literally causes cognitive improvements similar to sleep in tests, and knowing that can help take off some of the pressure of not being able to fall asleep and can thus help you fall asleep.

4 - It's okay to "hang out" in the area where you're going to sleep. Read in bed. Play games on your cellphone in bed. If you want to go to sleep put on comfy clothes and bring a chill activity and hang out in your bed to do it so that all you have to do when you start getting sleepy is close your eyes.

5 - It's better to get some sleep than no sleep. Sometimes you look at the clock and it's six AM and whoops, fuck it. Okay, time for bed, don't stress that you're only going to get a few hours, a few hours is better than nothing. Lay down to pretend to rest at least and you'll probably feel okay.

6 - This one sounds silly and might not work for a bunch of people for a bunch of reasons but apparently there's some research suggesting that "well-rested" is a state of mind? I've had a reasonable amount of success with just telling myself "Yeah, I actually feel pretty good," and pushing through the day on a couple of hours of sleep. I don't *recommend* that and you should try to get as much sleep as possible, but yeah the next time you're low on sleep see what happens if you just try to decide to not be tired. It sounded like bullshit to me when I first heard it but I've found some success with it.

7 - This shit is cumulative. If you're doing a couple nights a week on low sleep that's not ideal but you're probably going to be pretty functional and you can work on it. If you overbook and overextend yourself for too long - I'm looking at you college students and new parents - it's going to add up. Try as much as possible to at least keep your sleep deficit nights spread out. (This message brought to you by writing 60k words of fiction in october and completely frying my brain because i wasn't getting enough sleep).

[kerosene-saint]

tfw you have a queer platonic crush on someone you're 90% sure isn't on the aromantic spectrum (or if he is he has romantic attraction) and you're not entirely sure he could even experience alterous attraction to reciprocate.

[s0dium]

I need you

Synopsis: Choso needs to fuck you despite the fact that you are Yuuji's babysitter.

Warnings: Desperate sex, rough sex

Visual link: xxxxx

Choso thinks you are an angel.

Honestly.

He marvels at how you always help his family out by babysitting his little brother Yuji, even if it's late at night. Your kindness shines through in every action, and he can't help but notice how your eyes glow like an angel's, your skin seems so soft, and your voice carries a soothing, gentle tone. It's not just what you do; it's the way you do it, with such grace and beauty, that makes him believe you truly are a blessing to his family.

So that is why he must do this.

His touches are relentless, drawing you into his room the moment Yuuji is asleep. You can barely even get a word in before his bigger hands are under your shirt, exploring the warmth of your skin, a desperate longing evident in each caress. You want to tell him to slow down, to truly connect beyond the frantic urgency. But your words dissolve into breathless whispers as you meet his dark tired eyes that are practically begging for you, begging to be with you, begging to feel you.

"I like kissing you." He murmurs against your lips. "I like you. I like you so much, you are so pretty. I like and love you."

You let yourself fall into his touch and Choso captures your mouth with his, a deep, enveloping kiss that makes you moan and whine for more. As he gently removes your tank top and shorts, leaving you in your bra and underwear and he devotes attention to every inch of your skin, delivering tender nips, soft sucks, and gentle bites.

"Perfect." He mumbles under his breath, burying his nose into the crook of your neck to pepper the delicate skin with soft kisses. "Fuck, you are so perfect, baby."

Your mind grows fuzzy at his words and you let out a sharp gasp when you feel him pull the hem of your underwear down your legs.

"Jump," he commands softly, his voice a low rumble that reverberates through you. Without hesitation, you leap up and in one fluid motion, he lifts you up. Your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, securing you against him as he presses you against the wall. Your fingers find their way into his black hair tied up in buns long, tugging gently at the strands, anchoring yourself to him as his kisses deepen. You don't even notice that he has lowered his pants until you feel the hard pressure against your tight hole, making you instinctively squirm away.

"Stay still f'me ok baby?" Choso groans, peppering kisses along your jaw while he aligns himself with you. Without warning, he thrusts into you, the sudden friction and collision with your G-spot knocking the wind out of your lungs. It's as if every fiber of your being is tuned to this moment, each caress and sensation amplifying the pleasure that surges through you. You feel a soft shiver start at the base of your spine, traveling upward, making your skin tingle with exquisite delight. Ticklish pleasure courses through your veins and you immediately throw your head back against the wall as Choso thrusts into you.

"Hnghh, s-so good~~" You whine. It was dizzying, the grith of his dick digging itself against your g-spot, the euphoria of him fitting snuggly against walls with every thrust. The friction is incredible and it made pain quickly turn into pleasure. The tightness of your cunt has Choso gasping for breath, the grip on your hips almost bruising as he tries to keep himself from spilling inside of you right here and now.

"I can feel you baby, sh-shit, I can feel you doing it to me." Choso is not a whining man but here he is falling apart at the warmth of your cunt. God you were heaven, he thinks he would be eternally happy if he could just spend all his time inside of you, feeling you squeeze around him, smelling the intoxicating scent of your shampoo. He uses you like his personal cock sleeve, thrusting up into your warm cunt with such vigor that it shapes your insides and bruises your cervix until your entire body jolts with sensitivity.

For a moment, he slows down, leaning down to the space between you and letting a glob of thick spit drop onto your clit. He moves side to side, opening up your folds and rubbing your clit. You cry from the pleasure and Choso's Adam apple bobs as he groans as well.

He's close, and he knows you are too.

He is glaring at you with hooded eyes, watching the expressions of pleasure you make intently. Choso is caught in some sort of trance, like even though he is fucking you, he is powerless to you.

Your mind begins to drift, losing itself in the intensity of the experience of Choso fucking you. Time seems to blur, and the world around you fades, leaving only the profound connection between you and the pleasure you're immersed in. Each moment stretches and deepens, and you're carried away by the ebb and flow of sensations. Your body responds instinctively, arching off the wall and lifting your hips to meet Choso's thrusts, seeking more, craving the next wave of ecstasy. The pleasure builds and builds, a crescendo that fills you to the brim. It's a symphony of sensation, a dance of pure, unadulterated joy that leaves you breathless and yearning.

And then, in a glorious, breathtaking instant, it peaks. The world seems to explode in a kaleidoscope of bliss, and you are utterly consumed by it. Your heart races, your breath catches, and for a moment, you are weightless, suspended in a universe of pure pleasure.

Luckily for you, Choso is right there with you. His mind dips into a ocean of pleasure and before he can put a stop to it, he is spilling load upon loads of himself in you.

Damn it, he should've done this sooner.

[silverskyeline]

'look at me' 18+

oneshot - logan can't fuck like he used to, but you don't care. you get on top, gladly taking care of him in return. (2k words) pairing - logan howlett (logan 2017) x gn!reader tags: pre-established relationship, doggy style, penetration, dom!logan, reader rides logan, filthy talking logan, he talks you through it, rough, praise kink, cursing, mutual orgasm, choking, 'use your words', unprotected sex, creampie, sweet ending

logan can't keep up like he used to, but he still fucks you like a man possessed when he's able, like a rabid animal - hips bucking, muscles flexing, baring his teeth as he takes you.

his rough, calloused and scarred hands grip your waist, contrasting against your soft skin. that veiny length makes quick work of your needy hole, just like you wanted.

moments before, you'd teased him for the tent in his blue jeans. logan had cocked a smirk, that same signature smirk that always renders you weak at the knees as he began unbuckling his belt, taking his sweet time. you would wait, he knew you'd wait, you were good for him like that. the distinct sound of the clinking metal and the unsheathing of leather caused a shiver to run down your spine, a throbbing in your core. you needed him just as much as he needed you.

.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.

it wasn't fair, how he could tell as soon as he entered a room just how much you wanted him. he could smell it, smell your arousal clear as day, he'd teased you about it so many times. the scent fills his mind every time, makes his cock twitch in his boxers, the need to have you almost overwhelming.

your soft wanting moans drift to his ears, one of his palms sliding up to the base of your spine as he keeps you firmly bent over on the bed, fucking into you with purpose. rough grunting spills from his lips, your head turning to catch his eye, watching as beads of sweat form on his forehead. chest rising and falling, logan grits his teeth.

"this what you wanted, huh?" he grunts, his sentence punctuated with a particularly harsh thrust that knocks the wind from both of you, "you wanted my cock? hm? just couldn't fuckin' help but tease and tease. . ."

you whine, gripping the sheets in front of you as the room fills with the lewd sound of skin on skin. he always liked it rough, plus - you'd known logan long enough to know how he liked to channel his anger into sex. and he was fucking good at it. you'd take it, again and again, as harsh as he wanted to give. because you knew that as soon as you were done, he'd be scrambling to pepper soft kisses along your neck, praising you for how good you'd been for him.

his thrusts falter, and you reach back to take his wrist in your hand in a comforting gesture. the harsh panting tells you all you need to know, his grip on you fading. but it's alright, you know how to take care of him, too. you tug at his wrist and after a brief moment of hesitation, he pulls out and lays beside you, looking almost defeated.

your hips find their home atop his and you nestle against him, slowly grinding back and forth on his length. his hands immediately search for your thighs, pawing at the flesh as he looks up at you. you drink in his expression, the way he's looking at you through his heavy eyelids, his scarred, sweaty bare chest rising and falling harshly.

"let me take care of you. . ." you whisper, your hands sliding up across the feverish skin on his chest, threading through the hair that grows there.

he licks his lips, attempting to protest "but i-"

"shhhh. . ." you shake your head, inching upwards to brush his leaking tip against your entrance and he hisses at the contact, "i said let me take care of you. . ."

you sink down on his cock, gasping as he fills you once more - at this point, you've memorised every vein on that thing. you love how he fills you so completely, how you almost, almost struggle to take him in all the way.

"fuck. . ." he huffs, his eyes fluttering shut as he grasps your thighs, sinking into the bed. he hates it, hates how fucking tired he gets nowadays. but damn if you don't look like the prettiest little thing bouncing on his cock like that.

and you want to comfort him, to let him know that it's okay. you'd ride him every night if he'd let you, but he always insists that he can do it, that he can still go as hard and as fast as he used to all those years ago. fast or slow, it didn't bother you, as long as you had logan, you'd be happy, content with even a passing glance from him in your direction.

"look so pretty up there. . ." he coos breathlessly, watching you bounce, his hand snaking up to rest on your stomach as he admires you.

you moan, tilting your head back - and he groans in response, dick twitching desperately, aching to fill you as his hips buck against your movements. he loves watching you ride him like this, watching as you take control, set the pace you want.

the rough hand on your stomach drifts upwards, finding its home around your neck, gently still. but even the soft grip has you reeling, gripping his wrist. you know he still wants to feel some control, that it wasn't because he was losing energy that he was on his back, no. . . it was a choice.

and you indulge him, working down over his cock with your tight hole, clamping around him as your hips meet his over and over. he's groaning, grumbling, eyes fluttering shut as he's lost in the way you take him.

"logan, look at me. . ." you whisper pleadingly, nails digging into his chest, fingertips tracing across the scars there.

immediately his eyes open to lock onto yours, and when he sees you? fuck, he needs more. he uses his grip on your throat to pull you down into a deep kiss, breathing heavily through his nose as his tongue delves into your mouth. you love how much more experienced he is than you, how he makes quick work of you every fucking time, has you a mess for him, opening up to him in every way you can.

"yeah. . . that's it. . ." he grumbles against your lips, kissing you with a fierce passion that borders on animalistic between words, "keep workin' that cock, keep bouncin', you're doin' so well."

you clench around him at those very words, unable to even think straight with his tongue shoved into your mouth and his cock stuffed deep inside you. he's taking you in every way you'll give yourself to him. even with him on his back and with half his energy he's still able to have you squirming.

and the praise, the fucking praise. logan knows just how to talk to you to make you melt. he'll fuck you roughly, desperately pumping his dick into you whilst whispering that you're the prettiest thing he's ever seen into your ear. he'll have you split in half with his thick arms hooked around your legs whilst telling you that you're so good for him, calling you sweet pet names that contrast his rough movements.

that voice of his, gravely, deep, rumbling. you can't think straight when he talks to you this way.

"such a sweet little thing," he groans, his hand on your thigh snaking around to give your ass a quick slap before grabbing a handful. light work for him considering the size of his hands - don't even get him started on what he likes to do with those. . .

you call his name, whimpering against his lips as you try to keep up with his kisses all while riding him. your mind is blank, slamming your hips down against him as he bucks up, meeting your thrusts - sending him deeper and deeper.

his hand on your neck traces along your skin to grip the back of your head, feeling as his digits spread across your scalp. "fuuuuuck," he groans, "can feel how tight you are, you're gonna cum, huh?" logan asks, though it's less of a question and more of a statement. he knows your body better than you do.

you nod, whimpering pathetically, inches from his lips.

eyes darting from your mouth, up into your gaze, he grins, "use your words, c'mon. i asked you a question."

"yes logan, yes, fuck- i'm gonna cum!" you cry out, tilting your hips as you chase that high he wants to give you.

with his mouth open, he pants, watching you above him with a keen fascination as your face contorts in pleasure. slowly, a smirk tugs at the corner of his lips. his favourite thing in the world is to watch you come undone around him, the way your eyes roll back, your pulse quickening under his fingertips.

"c'mon, c'mon, c'mon. . ." he growls, rutting into you from below, feeling as you spasm around his hard, girthy length, "if you cum, i'll cum nice and deep inside you, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"logan. . ." you whine, a clear yes. your head dips down to press against his shoulder, unable to keep yourself upright with the intensity of it all.

he chuckles and it's like music to your ears, loving those rare little noises of his - treasuring the sounds he makes while enjoying you.

both hands are back on your hips now, guiding you, slamming you down onto him as you gasp with each thrust, "c'mon. . . give me what i want, what we both want - make a mess for me."

his words hit you like a command, a call to arms - you will cum for him, make a mess of him and his sheets. you're calling his name into the skin of his neck as you cry out, feeling the orgasm beginning to tear through you.

and he can feel it, feel how you convulse and clamp down on his dick, causing him to gasp. he's moaning, groaning, words catching at the back of his throat as he tries to continue to talk you through it - but he can't. you're fucking him too good, he's gonna cum too.

ropes and ropes of white hot cum fill you, pushed deeper and deeper by his faltering thrusts as his dick twitches with each spray. you gasp, writhing against him as he holds you firmly in place, pulling you down one last time and holding you there as he empties into you completely.

you're whimpering, whining, body jerking as the intensity increases as you roll your hips, riding out the last of your orgasm until you're both left a panting, sweaty mess.

"holy fuck. . ." he whispers into the air, closing his eyes to centre himself, world spinning.

meanwhile, you can't even talk, can't even think about forming words, mind instead occupied with feeling his hot cum dripping out of you.

logan pets the back of your head, stroking your hair gently in an attempt to help you come back into the moment. he wants to thank you, but that's never been his strong suit. instead, he kisses the crown of your head, peppering kisses down along your forehead as he hooks his thumb and forefinger under your chin to bring your face closer to his.

he looks into your hazy, exhausted eyes, his own gaze full of love and appreciation. this is what he lives for - watching you bathe in the afterglow, being lucky enough to look into your eyes every day, being blessed enough to have you here like this.

you greet him with a sleepy, almost bashful smile.

he smiles too, and god, butterflies blossom deep within your stomach. you love him, you love him tired, you love him angry, you love him grumpy, you love him on his back, on top - whatever, you just love him.

"you're too good for me," he whispers as his lips find your forehead once more.

you know those words are his way of saying thanks, but you shake your head in protest, "stop that, not another word."

logan looks into your eyes, really looks at you, those soft hazel hues meeting your gaze. he simply smiles in silence as his hand drifts to your cheek.

the room falls into a comfortable silence, and you wonder how logan ever let you this close. but you don't care, all you care about is taking care of him.

and you will, for as long as he lets you.

[falesten-iw]

Warning: Long Post No one reads long texts anymore, but despite everything I've been through with my country, my family, and recently my son, I need to get this off my chest. It's completely unbelievable to me that so many people still don't understand the background of the genocide in Palestine. What kind of journalists or influencers do we have today? Are they too afraid to report and remind their audiences about the real story behind what's happening now? No, it's not just one year of suffering! It's outrageous how the media consistently ignores what Palestinians have been enduring for decades. Have they, or you, even bothered to look at the statistics of how many Palestinians have been killed by Israel since 1948? How many children have been killed? Who holds the responsibility for what's happening now? I often wonder: what if the situation Palestinians face was applied somewhere else? For example, what if, after World War II, the West had decided that all Jews should have a state in the USA—let’s say Chicago—how would the people of Chicago have reacted? Imagine the people there being driven off the land their families had worked for generations, stripped of their rights, and harassed or persecuted if they resisted. Do international laws simply not apply when ### is involved? Do you know that people in Gaza are killed simply for fun? Yes, for fun! Israeli soldiers have been known to shoot women, children, and even animals on the spot, then walk away. Did you feel the wind when those shots were fired? Or was it too far away for you? Do you understand what death means? Good. Do you know why there are so many Palestinians living in different countries, or maybe even right next door to you, even though they smell like hummus, garlic, za'atar, and other traditional foods? Do you know why your neighbors are Palestinian and not Israeli? It's because we've been forced to flee since 1948. Our cities were erased then, and more are still being erased—through violence, through apartheid laws, through genocide, through different methods. Ilan Pappe, an Israeli historian, wrote a book about hundreds of Palestinian cities that were erased to create the Israel you know today. This isn't a war that started a few days ago or even a year ago—this has been going on since at least 1948. More than 45,000 have been killed in Gaza just in the past year alone. 17 000 of them are children, and 13 000 are women. Do you even know what that means? How it feels to lose your children or part of your family? Are you going to tell us how it feels? Do you have no empathy? Is your heart so closed that you can't see the pain around you? Are you really so blind to the suffering of others? How can you ignore these realities? Do you know that the Israeli military has cut off all electricity and completely halted the import of food, water, fuel, and other necessities? There are no hospitals and no medicines left, and 85% of people in Gaza are living in makeshift tents. Yes, tents—but not like the ones you see in movies. These are handmade from plastic scraps. Do you know that my family is suffering from all of this, and I will lose them in this cold weather if you don't act now? Please help us and donate now!

Vetted and shared by @90-ghost: Link.

Verified and shared by @el-shab-hussein: Link

Listed as number 282 in "The Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser Spreadsheet" compiled by @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi : Link

Listed on the Butterfly Effect Project, number 957: Link

Additionally, Al Jazeera News has documented apart of my family's case: Link

@timetravellingkitty @deathlonging @briarhips @mazzikah @mahoushojoe

@sar-soor @rhubarbspring @schoolhater @pcktknife @transmutationisms

@sawasawako @feluka @appsa @anneemay @commissions4aid-international

@wellwaterhysteria @mangocheesecakes @kyra45-helping-others @7bitter @tortiefrancis

@watermotif @stuckinapril @mavigator @lacecap @determinate-negation

@socalgal @chilewithcarnage @ghelgheli @sayruq @elbiotipo

@el-shab-hussein @heritageposts @communistkenobi @deepspaceboytoy @molsno

@mesetacadre @forevergulag @gazafunds @northgazaupdates2 @freepalestinneee

@komsomolka @muppet-sex @nabulsi @fading-event-608 @buttercuparry

@prierepaiienne @interact-if @unified-multiversal-theory @inkstay

@socialjusticekitten-blog @socialgoodmoms @nowthisnews @socialgoofy @fightforhumanity-rpg-blog

@fightforhumanity-rp @queerandpresentdanger @90-ghost @timogsilangan @punkitt-is-here

@fox-guardian @hiveswap @valtsv @helppeople @ibtisams

@annoyingloudmicrowavecultist @vakarians-babe @plomegranate @queerstudiesnatural @tamamita

@apollos-boyfriend @akajustmerry @marnosc @flower-tea-fairies @tsaricides

@belleandsaintsebastian @ear-motif @brutaliakent @raelyn-dreams @troythecatfish

@4ft10tvlandfangirl @communistchilchuck @fairuz @sarazucker @fairuzfan

@a-nautilus-as-pixel-art @13eyond13 @stil-lindigo @baby-indie-blog

@marnota @vivisection-gf @brutaliakhoa @the-bastard-king @magnus-rhymes-with-swagness

@neptunerings @malcriada @turian @girlinafairytale @abnormalicacid

@sylvianritual @mothblossoms @autisticmudkip @lesbianmaxevans

@nabulsi27 @palestinegenocide @orblesbian @palebluebutler @pallasisme

@fallahifag-deactivated20240722 @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @baby-girl-aaron-dessner @morallyrainyday

@jonpertwee @flipton @bell-bones @ragingbullmode @envytherose

@rodent178 @tangledinourstrings @kraigerzz-blog @frogbrainedfool @the-ending-of-dramamine

@mossdeep @redsavesquare @uninvited-eon @glenbot @ultimateumbreon33

@disastersim @airsigh @cowboy-queer @lapastelr0sa @sharingresourcesforpalestine

@rebel-girl-queen-of-my-world @kropotkindersurprise @cruzwalters @la7ma-mafrooma @rosyish

@bookskittychad @streakoflavender @gabajoofs @miraclemaya @devilofthepit

@gay-yosuke @cometcrystal @corvidkusnos @nb-marceline @cicadaland

@manletwizard @2blushie @antiauteur @acnologia-is-best-dragon @bitchmael

@penelopiaad @hashiramashonkers @laughtracklesbian @legallymean @b0nkcreat

@crapscicle @uwu-pinata @syntheticspades @momxijinping @longlivepalestina

@saberboi-1 @martinmynster @nako-funky @trans-leek-cookie @vaticinatrix

@moomoobug @narwa @twilightobservationtower @estrellasrojas @knxfesck

@lakeeffectbitch @fatbitchneedsfoodbadly @no-thats-absurd @humanmorph

@sandiwchirlinreal @tcda @misspiggyforvogueitalia @gamb0fficial @vincentspork

@gemstonedraws @frankendykes-monster @mizoguchi @kos-mos @ryoki-ph

@blackwoolncrown @nightwussy @freehologramreview @melancholy-hummingborb

@sister-lucifer @nonbinarymerbabe @raventhecoolestpersonever @ebenrosetaylor

@inkbomber @collectoroflovelythings @k00ldino @sundung @extrabitterbrain

@names-hard @killaltrock @thatdarngreenpixie-blog @angelsarecomputers

@secretgoths @cauli-flawa @faraliniste @adrowninggrip @thesavagesnakeplant

@g-l-a-s-s-h-e-a-r-t-s-s @illuminated-runas @silverstone-gp @saintverse

@emathyst9 @trasno-personal @turtles-on-turts @dendrosystem

@readingsquotes @bellybuttonblue2 @bees-fart-too @andiv3r-reblogging @sillyseer

@cloudedcari @tachycardial @evileyeamulet @pompompotato @shamemp3

@jihaad @italofobia @stealthjet @pinnyy @sivavakkiyar

@chronicowboy @bi-worm @ydic74the @amorosebeing @golvio

@dailyquests

[blanketforcas]

i like, dip my toes into fundiesnark youtube sometimes but i really have to stop myself cause girl i can't keep watching hour long videos of this it's not good for the soul

[gucciforasushirestaurant]

kinkmas day two

will be on time! i am working on it now (based on the votes I think i know what it's gonna be but I'll let yall wait and see!)

it's already over 2k nearly 3k and i only just am getting to the kink part......hehehe

[intoxicating-goddess]

TW - intox, somno, cnc, forced breeding

We're talking on a video call like we usually do in the evenings. I'm smoking a bowl to help wind down for the night. When I finish, you suggest I might want to do another. I've been really stressed out lately, it'd be helpful to have a little more, you tell me. I have been stressed lately, why not? I fill another bowl half way, but you convince me to make it another full one. After I'm done the second bowl, you can see how faded I am. I tell you that the weed is hitting me really hard and I think I'm gonna go lie down. You wish me well and say goodnight. I stumble through the house in a stoned haze, eventually making it into bed. I drowsily strip myself of my clothes before rolling over and falling asleep. I'm too deep in slumber to hear the door unlock. I gave you a spare key for emergencies, after all. You creep into my bedroom and see my naked body sprawled across the bed. You quietly take off your clothes and climb on top of me. Kissing your way down my back while running your hands all over my limp body. Feeling up my ass and tits and then finally, my pussy. I let out soft moans in my sleep. As you rub my clit and fondle my ass, I start to become wet. You then line yourself up with my slick entrance and ram your entire cock inside me. I wake with a scream, a concoction of panic and pleasure. As you begin violently thrusting, I try to get my bearings. My head is so dizzy and my body is so heavy. I let out a feeble scream as I try to resist, but it's no use. My body is far to weak and I can't put up a fight. I am pinned in place by the weight of your body on top of me. I have no idea who is inside me, but I can't seem to focus on anything but how good it feels. You lean down on top of me and begin grabbing at my breast. You pinch my nipple and I can't help but let out a moan. You chuckle softly between grunts, you know a filthy whore like me likes being used. Your thrusts are so hard and deep that it doesn't take long for me to cum on your cock. You continue to fuck me for what feels like hours. I am so out of it that I have no concept of time. I eventually let myself drown in the pleasure. It doesn't matter who is fucking me, the only thing that matters is how good it feels. After you've lost track of how many times you've made me to cum, you feel yourself get close. Your thrusts become faster and faster. You pull my hips hard against you, forcing your cock as deep into my pussy as possible. With a loud grunt, you let your load out inside me. You pull out and let my hips go, causing me to slump onto the bed. You watch as your seed seeps out of my throughly used pussy. You then put your clothes back on and leave, locking the door behind you. I lay in the wet patch knowing I should feel mortified, but instead I feel euphoric. Having my rapists seed pouring from my violated pussy turns me on all the more. It's not long before the exhaustion and intoxication lull me back into a deep sleep. I sleep well knowing my only purpose is to be a good cocksleeve. It doesn't matter if I'm conscious or not.