#and i can’t get the source rn because i’m on my phone and my phone glitches but. fucking do more god damn it

[ultravioletlesbian]

these countries need to do more than call back their ambassadors they need to cut ties with israel COMPLETELY. don’t think that calling back ambassadors mean they’re cutting ties, they’re not! bolivia is the only one i’ve read to cut ties completely, like al jazeera always makes the distinction when i read another country called back their ambassador, they mention bolivia did that AND cut ties

[l3v1s-g4m3r]

lmao I might make like a series but it’s just different aus where you know the brothers prior to being kidnapped/sent to the devildom

it’s mammon this time !!

so you open your email to a free iphone scam. you delete it and go on with your day. the next day you get another one. you delete it and go on with your day. this happens for a week straight before you eventually add the number on the scam email to tell this idiot off. you say, as I quote;

“bitch stop fucking sending me scam emails 😐”

he replies and somehow HES the mad one now. you two argue for like 10 minutes straight because, gosh, he just can’t accept that he’s wrong??

the argument dies down and you both go back to your day. that is until you get another scam ad the next day.

“ok you rat bastard what’s your address I’m finna pull up rn one of us dying today and it ain’t gonna be me”

he.. actually sends you coordinates??? there’s no way this mf will just give away his address, so you put the coordinates in google.

it shows your house.

“WHAT THE FUCK HOW DO YOU KNOW MY ADDRESS 😭”

he doesn’t say how or even WHY he has your address on hand, but he decides to fucking blackmail you to help him make money.

you agree because you don’t want some random sixty year old man to come to your house because you didn’t help him make money.

he tells you his name is mammon, and yeah serves him right because he IS a demon for blackmailing you.

you try to do the iphone scam like him, doesn’t work. you try the “you have a virus” scam, it doesn’t work.

so you have to take great lengths.

you become a discord e-kitten. and it surprisingly works really well, all you have to do is claim you’re a minor and send pics of your feet. then send the money to mammon.

and you’re not scamming people while doing it so all is good!

as much as it is a surprise, you and mammon become pretty good friends. I mean, you are basically the ONLY source of money he has, and a pretty good one at that. you even call him boss!

when you’ve made him about $1000 (or 50,000 grim if you transfer it), you both decide to show each other your faces and he’s actually a cutie bro?? like what?? you expected a sixty year old man blackmailing you but he’s a hot guy in his 20s??

one day while you were preparing to get on discord to continue e-kittening, you get sucked into a random portal. and fall straight on your face. right infront of a bunch of hot men. just great.

when the cute redhead explains your situation, you’re not too worried. might aswell get used to being here, since it’s gonna be your home when you’re dead!

the raven haired fellow gives you you’re “phone” for when you’re down here and tell you to call mammon.

wait, mammon?! boss?!

you look at the profile picture and surely that’s him, I guess you saying he was a demon for blackmailing you was the weird truth. why else would he be here?

you click the call button.

“oi, what’s the big idea-“

“HI BOSS!”

“wha- WIMP?! WHY ARE YA CALLIN’ ME ON A RANDOM NUMBER?!”

“so um, long story short, I’m in hell and this black haired guy told me to call you. I think his name was lucifer??”

“no way… YOURE THE EXCHANGE STUDENT?! THIS IS A PRETTY NICE DAY AFTER ALL! COMIN’ THERE NOW!”

everybody else in the room is confused why you called mammon “boss” and why he was so buddy-buddy with you, considering he doesn’t do that with strangers, especially HUMANS.

mammon would’ve been annoyed he had to babysit some human, but he has no problem with it because he’s making money and he’s with his wimp 💕💕.

[darkest-shade-of-light]

Question, does anyone else with NPD get filled with rage whenever someone doesn’t act how you want them to? Rn my partner feels very numb to everything and can’t bring themself to care much, and that means they’re not very talkative, and I find myself almost throwing the phone in anger because I’m so pissed about them not acting how I want them to. Is that like, a thing, or is that just me being a dick? Help lol

(If it helps to know context, they’re my main source of supply too so now that’s been kinda cut off)

[satrs]

Can’t feel my face - bllk x fem!Reader N°3

"ARE YOU FREE TONIGHT?",

Shidou asked the woman on the other side of the phone, earning an unsure hum from her. "I don't know. I'm not really in the mood to stitch anyone up tonight", she stated, a soft laugh erupting from the man on the other end. "No, no. I clearly won't fight tonight. But I'm feeling better than yesterday. I went to the doc' and he said the wound was stitched up well. Thanks for that, Angel." She told him that it was no big deal, even though it kind of was.

"Sooo, I thought as a 'Thank you' I invite you to a 'kinda-date'. Whatcha think?" Y/N's face shifted into a grimace, not understanding what he meant by 'kinda-date'. "I mean, we go back to blue lock together, since I got some shit to deal with, but we could still have some fun, you know?", he explained, her now understanding what he was getting at. "Blue lock? Is that the name of the underground boxing stuff?", she questioned, Shidou giving her a 'yes' as an answer.

But was it really alright to go with that man? Half of her says no, since she just meet him recently, but the other half want to. Because if she was being honest, when was the last time she really enjoyed herself or had fun?  But going without Sae? He wouldn't be happy to hear that.

But why does she care about his opinion so much? It's not like he is her parent. She is a grown woman and can do whatever the hell she wants.

So, she decided to tag along with him. They agreed to meet at her place, since Shidou already knew where it was, he told her he would pick her up the same day at 11 o'clock.

20 minutes before 11, Shidou already waited in front of Y/N's apartment complex, leaning against his expensive Mercedes-Benz car, impatiently waiting for her to come out of her apartment. HE knew that he was there a bit too early, but he couldn't help himself. The man looked forward to seeing her again the entire day, longing to examine her features. Her beautiful plump lips, that tempted him to attack them with his own, while caressing her flawless body. His fingertips tingled, craving to trace over every single imperfect perfection of her body.

"Hey", he snapped out of his thoughts, eyes shooting up to look for the source of the voice, getting met with the young woman herself. Jumping out of joy in his head, he grinned at her, greeting her back and inspecting her beauty.

She looked lovely. Her hair looking flawless, and her outfit causing him to stare longer than he intended to. To stop himself to not look like a creep, he assisted her into the passenger seat before getting into the driver's seat himself.

Once he started to park out backwards, he placed his hand at the edge of Y/N's seat, turning his head to the back and also getting closer to the young woman, revealing a golden necklace around his neck in the process. His pink orbs carefully observing the area, so he could safely park out.

Y/N couldn't help herself to momentarily stare at the veins on his delicate neck, quickly averting her eyes back onto the road. Not long after driving, she noticed her phone ringing in her bag, pulling it out to inspect the caller ID.

Sae

Fuck. She can't possibly pick up now, fearing that the situation would be quite awkward. Declining his call, she quickly typed out a message to him.

Wsp? I'm busy rn.

Seeing the three dots appear at the bottom of her screen, she waited for his answer.

Nothing. Just wanted to check up on you.

She couldn't help but smile to herself at that, shoving her phone back into her bag, now trying to stir up a conversation with Shidou. "So, what do you need to do at 'Blue Lock'?"

"Since I can't fight tonight, I gotta come up with a replacement, or you lil' buddy Sae will end me", he truthfully answered, getting an understanding nod from the woman in return.

"It's still crazy that you got stabbed right there. Something worse could've happened", she stated, Shidou sparing her a cocky glance. "No need to worry about me, ma. We're all used to this. Pussy's like that guy always come up with some foul shit. But he didn't get off the hook easily anyway, I heard he's knocked out since yesterday."

"Damn." Y/N didn't know what else to say, so she tried to lead the conversation into another direction again. "And is it really alright for you to drive with that arm? I think you shouldn't overdo it."

"Already told you, it's alright, since I got myself a sexy nurse to fix it up." She giggled at his answer, gazing out the window again and seeing the now familiar strip club come into view. Still curious about the building choice, she questioned the handsome male about it, hoping he might know more.

He told her that the owner of the club, Mikage Reo, who owned various clubs, bars, and similar facilities around the country came up with the whole idea of a boxing establishment, but since the idea of boxing he was hoping to make reality wasn't exactly what would fall under the umbrella of legal - he made it as secluded and inconspicuous as possible, which led to it taking place under this club.

At the mention of the name Mikage, Y/N's ears peaked up. Mikage was a well known surname around the country - one of the richest - if not the richest person  in the country, swimming in an unbelievable amount of money. So it seemed that this name was not only well known at the 'normal' parts of town but also the underground.

"Mikage? Is he there too?" She was curious, if not excited. Meeting such a rich man was no common experience, maybe she could ask for an autograph - or some money?

"Depends, if 'the Treasure' is on the ring, like today then most likely yes, other than that, he barely shows himself down there. Maybe because he's creeping around upstairs, who knows?", Shidou snickered.

"'The Treasure'? What kind of corny nickname is that?", she asked. " 'The Treasure of Blue Lock', actually, he was the first in the ring, and a good fighter overall, I can't lie. Anytime he's on, the show is always hellaaaa' crazy. That guy's moves are somethin', he'd be a pain in the ass to fight against", Sae admitted, face covering in an unpleased expression.

Parking near the club, Shidou stepped out, aiding Y/N for help like he did before. His arm swung around her shoulder, "Don't go runnin' off anywhere, alright?", he told her, holding her close to himself in a protective manner.

                                                ════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Entering the place of action again and Y/N basking in Shidou's safe hold, the atmosphere of the room was as cheerful as she had in memory, even spotting some faces she saw the other day, but also new ones.

"Thank God, he showed up", Shidou exhaled in a manner of relief, guiding the two of you to the man who would replace him for the night.

He was tall - well his hair at least, styled up even higher than Shidou's, making him stand out instantly, if not also because of his exaggerating designed jacket, which had a big lion imprinted on one side of it.

His crimson eyes offering anyone near him an intimidating stare, casting off his dominance to everyone around him.

Noticing someone approaching him, he shifted his attention to the two unknown figures. "Yo, King!", Shidou greeted him, earning an irritated grunt from the man. "Why did you take so damn long, antenna head?", his deep voice, straddling the young female.

"And fuck you taking a stripper with you for? You should-", "I'm not no damn stripper, you gorilla", she cut through his words, freeing herself from shidou's hold to stare at the man in front of them, causing him to raise a brow at her bold demeanor. Before he could spit an insult right back, Shidou cut through the tension. "Alllright. C'mon, let's see who you're up against, then get ready."

Barou gave Y/N a dissatisfied look, compiling to Shidou's words. "I already checked, since you took so damn long to get here", Barou said, nodding his chin somewhere into the room,  curiosity reflecting in Shidou's eyes.

"Alright Ladies and Gentlemen!", a loud voice and confident echoed through the room, causing everyone in it to turn their attention towards the source. A neatly dressed man with purple eyes and matching shoulder-length hair spoke into the microphone in his hand, a handsome smile plastered on his face. He screamed billionaire.

"I am pleased to announce today's first, and most exciting, match! Today's main actors will be Barou Shoei, the current 'King'! Versus Nagi seishiro, 'Blue Lock's Treasure!" the people cheered and screamed, apparently very pleased with the announced fighters. "You got one hour to place your bets right now at the very front of the entrance! Feel free to go all out!", the purple haired male exclaimed.

Y/N realized who this man was at the very moment she laid eyes on him, suspicions only being proved right by his mention of 'the Treasure' being here. "That's the guy I told you about. Mikage Reo", Shidou leaned near your ear, explaining. "Mr. Monopoly ass", Barou spat out, causing Y/N to let out a giggle.

"Well ain't I got luck!", Shidou exclaimed, clearly happy he doesn't have to deal with the man named Nagi Seishiro. Shidou let out a loud laugh, slapping Barou on the back. Barou's forehead showed visible veins, due to being pissed off from Shidou's action.

Shidou tried to calm down after his long laugh ordeal, speaking up to Barou,

"You're fucked, bro!"

                                                ════ ⋆★⋆ ════

[rianafying]

i’m sitting on the 51st floor of my friend’s apartment building, it’s a lounge area that looks over melbourne cbd and it is gorgeous, but the lights in this room are blinding. i’ve had a really long day and i’ll probably have an even longer one tomorrow but i don’t wanna leave this building. i feel safe here. i don’t wanna go back home. home is representative of my source of anxiety. home is messy and dirty. home is where the tasks await me. and i just can’t. so with my 48% battery on my phone, i will stay here for as long as i can. it’s already 10:31 pm. but it’s okay my house is a 5 minute walk away. i feel incredibly lonely tonight, like i’ve been craving some sort of romance. and ( very embarrassing ) physical touch. especially when i see or hear about other people in love, it makes me feel so alone. but this is not the time for me to date anyone. and i don’t really like the people i know. i have a therapy session booked for day after tomorrow, basically the day after this assignment is due. so hopefully my brain will be a little clearer by then.

i feel really sleepy and tired even though i overslept the last two days. it’s just that time of the month. pms and psoriasis. causing fatigue. i chopped off a lot of my hair today. didn’t really think it through but it’s fine. idrc. same when i dyed it black. i just do things and it doesn’t matter. it’s just hair.

my friend is really lucky she gets to live in this building. it’s quite a lot more expensive than my apartment. the one i live in is already too expensive for me but somehow i’m managing.

i sat super still for an hour so the motion detector wouldn’t catch me and the lights dimmed down and i stayed by the window for 2 more hours. i really didn’t wanna come back home but i was hungry so i did.

i had one of those chicken curry pies from woolies, i only bought them because they were on sale but damn they are so good, but normally they’re priced at 8$ for 2 pies which is out of my budget :((. but it’s okay i can make my own and freeze them.

2.75+4 + ingredients i already have i can make like a whole bunch of curry chicken pies. but it might not be as good as the store bought ones cause my little toaster that i use as a makeshift oven kind of sucks.

im still hungry, the little pie did not fill me up enough, which makes sense because i only had two tiny pieces of sushi in the last 30 hours. i’m craving another pie but i don’t have any. also something about having food with mayo makes me feel gross and oily. like it’s all over my face. i can’t stand it anymore. i’m so tired. i know ill be getting my periods soon because i have been getting cramps all day.

i finally found the time to open the bag of stuff my uncle dropped off because they’re moving and they no longer need em. there’s a whole bunch of sauces and spices in there. i wonder if my cousin bought these cause these are good ingredients. i’m kinda hungry but there’s nothing to cook at home. there’s pasta but it’s not gonna be substantial enough. i’ve been wanting to buy some parmesan for the longest time but it’s so expensive, and i go through it pretty fast because it’s too good not to. i also kind of like goat cheese, not really in pasta more with like fruit on toast. there’s a thing of frozen shrimp in my fridge afaik, but it’s stuck solid in with the ice layer in my fridge and i wrestled with it but i couldn’t get it out. i’ll just dump it out when i clean my fridge and let everything thaw. it will be okay. it was old anyway.

i’m just so hungry. but i’m just too lazy to make anything or get creative, or eat something i cooked. i wish there was like a sandwich or something i could eat rn. well there’s rice, surumi, wasabi, soy sauce, sriracha, mayo, chilli oil, carrots, and nori. but i just wish i had some cucumber. i’ll go buy some tomorrow along w some cooked shrimp. maybe the frozen cutlets. i kind of miss them.

[ham1lton]

https://www.tumblr.com/ham1lton/756984125196500992/side-eyes-her-brother-born-in-2015-i-feel-like?source=share

girl.... are you (jayde) and me like having the same braincell rn when it comes to ahem, parenting, our siblings 😭😭😭😭 LIKE AT SOME POINT THEY HAVE TO EVENTUALLY GROW UP RIGHT??

for real my younger brother is SO RUDE like he can't even write properly yet (he's in third grade and his letters are all wonky) and he's got ATTITUDE like SIT DOWN MISTER. AND SHUSH, I AM TALKING.

side note, my brother's interests are like: lego, pokemon games, minecraft, despicable me 4, gameplay, funko pop - can you tell he's a youtube kid yet..... thankfully not a cocomelon kid, he's a sesame street kid

my little brother is so rude omg. we need to start a support group. but sometimes he’s really sweet and nice. like i’ve been bonding with him over the nba and he watches the games with me now.

i’m trying to stop him from watching too much television and playing video games. like let’s go outside!! get some fresh air!!! my parents have practically left me to raise him and i can’t even raise myself 😭

my younger siblings get away with shit that i never would have because my parents are older and they dgaf no more 😭 my sister got a phone at 12. i got one at 15. still holding a grudge….

when i was younger, i was so respectful to ppl older than me. when i was older, the younger kids were rude asf. like what 😭

[hekateinhell]

GUESS who just finished reading your latest magum opus? ME FAM, DA!!! Transformative experience from start to finish, I’d missed reading your stuff SO much. So evocative, so vivid, so sensual. Felt like coming back home after a long trip, like cool breeze in my hair. I lived, I died, I lived again. 

First of all, the flower motifs were there right from the start (and I might’ve spoiled myself a lil with you latest post), but when it dawned on me what Armand was about to do to Lestat I was like OH MY GOD SHE DID THAT and I had to put my phone down for a minute. The chokehold these bitches (and you) (affectionate) have me on is insane. 

Again, perfection from start to finish, so here are my top 10 moments in no particular order, hopefully it makes sense (literally just finished it so I’m not really coherent rn) 

*drum roll*  🥁 🥁 🥁

1. “Yes, yes, let me be your co-conspirator. Tell me your secrets! I'll keep them all, good or bad – place them in a box and swallow the key, no one else will ever know.” INSANITY. The devil’s minion till the very end alright. 

2. “Daniel could've sworn he felt the blood rush through his retromandibular vein, every cell alive and awakened and thrilling at the closeness of its source and exhilarating at the thought of returning to its original host.” INSANITY X2. And also it’s such a wonderful callback to that one bit in QotD where it’s mentioned that all of Daniel’s “molecules were dancing with Armand’s invisible chemistry”. It DO be like that with them. Down bad for Armand on a chemical level, and you got that across so incredibly well. YOU GET IT. 

3. Armand noticing right away that Lestat hadn’t shaved and worrying if something might be wrong because why wouldn’t Lestat shave before flying to see him? Was Lestat telling the truth there? Was he aching for Armand’s company so badly that he didn’t have it in him to shave? Of course Armand would notice and of course he would worry.

4. “Daniel had worn a black cursive A right over his left pelvic bone for the remainder of his mortal days.” EXACTLY. There’s absolutely no way this didn’t happen. 

5. "And how would you have me, maestro?" Lestat inquired. His knee bouncing as he leaned back against the table, crossing his arms over his chest. Daniel didn't have to read Armand's mind to know that the immediate answer might be, "In so many ways," yes ma’am 🥵🥵🥵

6. “Lestat was at the perfect height for Armand to stand between his legs, a hand over each knee, as he bent his head to Lestat's chest and closed his mouth over a rosy nipple. He suckled at it for a moment before angling his head, and Daniel realized what Armand had done when he saw the grimace on Lestat's face.” god this is so hot. You didn’t even HAVE to write it but I can guarantee that every single person who reads that will be able to picture Armand’s fang piercing through Lestat’s nipple vividly. The writer that you are 🥹

7.  “It had to be said—it has been said—Lestat was a large man” THERE IT IS, Priapus makes its grand entrance. Love to see it, always. 

8. Daniel’s possessiveness??? Have you awoken a new kink in me?? It’s not like I didn’t think Daniel was possessive of Armand before, I did, but the way you had him contemplating the scene before him in awe but ALSO on so many different levels did something to me. He knows he’s no match for Lestat but he has A FEW things going for him and he’s going to let Lestat know about them, damn the consequences. He’s careless and immediately regrets it but he can’t help himself. He even resents the fact that Lestat didn’t bother removing his rings before touching Armand. Yet he guides him through it and desperately wants for Armand to enjoy this. He’s such a good boyfriend pls, always has been 😭😭😭

9. Armand being like “I THINK THE FUCK NOT” when Lestat offered Daniel a taste of his blood, so good. Lestat puts out so easily (figuratively but also literally and good for him tbh) while for Armand it’s such a sacred thing and he’s not about to let his only baby drink from another (not even their prince) like it’s no big deal. But also YES @ both of them eating Armand’s ass and Daniel getting a taste of Lestat that way. You truly put that out there and you should be proud 🥹 

10.  "We could simulate it sometime” yes they could and they SHOULD godddd part two incoming y/y?

I honestly could go on but I think I’ve made myself clear now lmao. It was magnificent, comeback of all time from one of my all time fave vc queens xoxo DA  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

DA!!

Lovely to see you as always 💖 I was wondering what you would think of this one — my 9lbs. 9k baby. It's May, it's spring, I'm in my flower era and I'm dragging everyone along with me!

It was all about the flowers lmao that scene stressed me out more than anything because it's the... set-up for the rest of the fic??? Armand conveying his affections for Lestat in a very intimate way—using his art—but it's low risk in a sense because the physical evidence is gone the next day. Anyway, I thought tattoos would be cool to play with because I've never seen that come up in VC fic before and Anne said they could have tattoos even it's just temporary, okay? I'm gonna exploit that!

Haha you gave me an ao3 style comment so I'm going to work through it ao3 style 🖤

Yes, this is so important to me when I think about post-canon A/D! I need them to have the elements of their OG dynamics but healthier and improved.

IT'S LIKE PHEROMONES WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW 🥵

omg okay you're the only so far who's commented on me giving Lestat some stubble and it was so important to me 🤧 I cannot express the sound I made when I realized that canon doesn't specifically tell us if he wakes up completely clean-shaven, or if it's part of his grooming routine like filing his nails every night in IWTV. I threw in a bit of my meta re: Magnus and Lestat's turning and well there you go — it's my story and I'm sticking to it. And as usual, you're right on the money... Lestat DID want Armand to notice because he knows Armand's caregiver tendencies with his loved ones. And then he got mad about it when Armand reacted accordingly and read him to the filth. Can't win with this guy. 😔

I believe with my whole heart Daniel was walking around with an A or even a Property of Armand tattoo on a private area from 1977 to 1985. I've said before it and I wrote it now and I'll do it again, don't test me.

Daniel being an expert on Armand comes in handy all the time, and he's officially known since 1985 how down bad for Lestat Armand has been. RIP. I also wonder how many times Armand randomly mentioned Lestat to his boyfriend during DM era aside from the Rutger Hauer moment. There's no way it was just the one time.

I loved writing that bit! In my head you could almost hear the soft sounds of Armand making those little bites into Lestat's nipples and I tried so hard to translate that onto the page. 🥹

Legit I'm one more smut fic away from tagging Lestat's dick as it's own character: Priapus (Vampire Chronicles). I'm not joking, I'm such an unserious person lmao

YES you get it! I feel like a lot of times we think Daniel would just be totally down for everything no questions asked, but like talking about the evolved DM dynamic earlier — now Daniel has all this knowledge of Armand's history with Lestat that he didn't have before. He's an understanding guy and he's open to a lot, but it's a very complex situation and I think it's natural that some feelings will come up here and there in the early days. Also, I left it ambiguous on purpose, but it's not clear just how much Daniel was in on regarding Armand's plan here. Was it something they discussed prior, like in explicit detail with the date marked on the calendar and circled in red? Did Armand plan to get that far in the first place or was it a surprise to him as much as it was to Daniel? Or was it kind of inevitable... "Yeah, get these guys in a room for the 50th time in 200 years and this time, they're gonna fuck"?

asjkgfasgk that was exactly Armand's thought process - fucked out and high with Lestat's blood in his ass, and all he can think is that Lestat better not touch his husband/baby unless Armand's ordering him to. The audacity, only Lestat fr 🤧 I got creative with vampire anatomy there and ~membranes~ and yk what I'll do it again it's free real estate

100% (now I just need something else to get meta about so I can write porn around it, it's the only way I know how to operate 🥲)

I wrote so much here lol I'm embarrassed but full transparency, it might not have been an angsty or heavy fic (and it was never supposed to be!), but I did pour myself into it and it makes my heart happy you enjoyed it! 😭🌸

[luxurytaxess-blog]

This is my safe space, no one know about this place but me. I got some things to get off my chest before 2023 starts.

I am angry. I am so so very angry. At myself, for letting me get so low. I’m real life homeless, unemployed and have no car to get around. I have no help from family. I have 1 friend, just ONE who is there for me but they’ve helped me so much they said I’m draining them.

How fucked up of a person do you have to be for someone to give up on helping you because it literally drains them. And I’m trying! I promise I’m trying so hard to get it together but it’s like every time I think I’m moving in the right direction I get pushed 5 steps back. The devil busy af working on me rn and he won’t let up.

I pray, I pray so hard and god just doesn’t hear me. I think he wants me to suffer a lil longer to teach me a lesson but the longer he ignores me the more the devil listens.

I feel like I can’t breathe, this weight on me is so heavy. Like I literally have trouble breathing cause my emotions are so high and my vibration is so low.

I wanna be mad at the people who I feel betrayed me but it’s really not their fault that my life is the way it is. I did this to myself and now I’m trying my damnedest to clean up my act and fix myself but I can’t do it alone.

How are you supposed to have faith that everything will be alright when you have nothing? I’m homeless, sure I’m at my moms house rn but I’m sleeping in the small storage room in her basement with no heat or electricity. I had to run an extension cord from upstairs just so I can plug up my lil heater to stay warm down here.

I spent a whole day calling jobs and asked if they were hiring until I found one that was doing open interviews and hiring on the spot. It’s a waitress job and I’ve never worked as a waitress before. I don’t even think I’ll make enough money in tips because I have to split everything with the other girls at the end of the night. Also don’t have a car so I took a job without even knowing if I can make it there.

Same thing with school. Starting cosmetology school at the top of the year was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and now that dream is dead because I don’t have any help getting to school. There isn’t a bus route that goes to my school either.

Any day now, my mom has to move out and I’ve been helping her look for other houses for rent in her budget but it’s like she just looks at them and closes her phone. I don’t wanna scramble to get my shit out the house or come back to my things sitting on the curb. I have another housing option but if I go there I won’t be able to go to school.

All this is just hitting me at once and I don’t even know where to begin to try and make some shit happen. I’m not selling pussy ever again in life so there goes any source of income I would’ve had.

I just don’t know what tf to do and I’m so ready to just give up.

[maldito-arbol]

It’s time for Mal to Talk in the tags again because I’m too tired to do homework or write so I’m gonna use my energy for this

[i4hyck]

ARE WE FRIENDS OR ARE WE MORE?

PARING: Mark x reader

GENRE: Fluff, crack (I tried), slightly suggestive.

WARNINGS: Swearing, Jaemin deserves better. Haechan and renjun are third wheeling. Mark is jealous, y/n just can’t sleep and thinks shit.

WC: 2-3k.

A/N: This is my first fic, please excuse any grammatical errors. feedback is appreciated! Also lmk if I missed any warnings! Tbh I was so nervous to post this but it’s here!

SONG REC: Boyfriend — Ariana grande, social house.

01 — HOW IT ALL STARTED.

It all started when haechan introduced you to Mark. Your first impression about mark is, he’s a nice guy, a respectful one. That’s it. It was not like those ‘love in first sight’ impressions. You do admit that, you like him. All you do is drop hints that you like him, every time you both hang out and all he does is not picking hints. Are your hints that faint that he doesn’t pick any of them or is it that he does realise your hints but just ignoring them Because he doesn’t feel the same way? But there is no way. The things you both did, tells a whole new different story. Is he playing with your feelings? Or does he really like you?

But, After numerous attempts of dropping hints, you gave up. Haechan did encourage you to drop some more hints and not give up but, you just didn’t care anymore, you are just hoping somehow, some way, mark will pick those hints and maybe try asking you out? Is that even happening? Your thoughts were interrupted when your phone buzzed.

Oh, boy it was a text message from mark.

Mark — 11:30 PM y/nnnn are you free tomorrow 4PM?

That exact moment, You almost screamed but you realised you might wake up your parents up. But wait, what is about? Is he going to ask me out? Nope, no fucking way. Okay first I need to calm down and reply, you thought to yourself.

You — 11:32 PM tomorrow 4PM? Oh yup I’m free

Mark — 11:32 PM okayy niceeeeeeee can we play basketball tomorrow?

“Fuck.” You swore, you thought he was going to ask you out but nonetheless, you get to hang out with him.

You — 11:33 PM ofc, also is haechan coming?

Mark — 11:33 PM No, but I can invite him if you want him to come :)

haechan is not invited, for the first fucking time! So does it mean that he’s giving me hints that he likes me or picking them up?

Woah. I need to stop, one girl and a boy hanging out doesn’t mean it’s a date, it can be a platonic date, right? You sigh.

And invite haechan? Fuck no, he’ll just expose you…

You — 11:35 PM no no don’t- I just asked and haechan… he’ll- It’s nothing

Mark — 11:36 PM LOL don’t worry, I get you

You sigh. He knows, he knows what he does. For now, you just needed some rest.

You — 11:36 PM thank for understanding LOL Well Good night mark, see you tomorrow

Mark — 11:37 PM Anytime, good night! Sweet dreams see you tomorrow too!

You smile at mark’s message and switched off your phone. Heading to sleep.

02 — JEALOUSY.

You woke up, you looked at the window and sighed.

“Fuck, is it the devil’s hour rn?” You mumbled. Reaching out to your phone on the nightstand next to the lamp, the only source of light in your room. You checked the time, it was 12:48 AM, You groaned. So, I didn’t even sleep for a two hours? You thought to yourself.

“I hate my life so much.” You mumbled while try getting sleep by closing your eyes and you still couldn’t sleep. You opened your eyes and started to stare at the ceiling. All you could think about now is the past moments in your life, that you don’t even regret or maybe you do. Getting jealous and angry over mark kissing your best friend. Well, who wouldn’t? like, imagine your best friend kissing your fucking crush. Who wouldn’t be mad and jealous about it? and it just got worse that day. You tripping in front of him and his friends, also your friends. Mark didn’t laugh, unlike others. He was actually concerned and asked if you were okay, which made your heart flutter. Well your best friend or should you say your ex best friend, is an absolute bitch. She used you so she could get close to mark and haechan. You just sigh, it’s waste of time thinking about her. But the moment where mark actually dragged away his friend Jaemin when he was flirting with you? that moment was shocking. Jaemin was flirty that day, it was a gift from heaven, because you had a crush on him but your feelings for him didn’t even last a week. Just like your other ex-crushes. Mark was the only guy, who you loved for years. In-fact 5 years to be exact. You love him, a lot. Haechan somehow got to know you have a crush on mark. He did kinda blackmail you about it but he also did encourage you a lot. Which made you hate and love him for that, you are so grateful to have a friend like him, but You are too tired to think about anything now and just needed some sleep, you close your eyes. Hoping you would eventually fall asleep soon.

03 — CRAZY THINGS YOU BOTH DID TOGETHER.

You still couldn’t sleep, it’s 1:20 AM and you don’t know why the fuck you get intense flashbacks when you can’t sleep. It just gives you mixed feelings, once it’s embarrassing, then angry, then sad, then regretful. You hate it and is it normal for friends to steal kisses from each other? well, you don’t know about that but sometimes I did that. Mark calls it ‘kissing your homies’ it never fails to make you laugh. The list of crazy things you both did wasn’t really something friends would do, it was something lovers would do. Well at least, that’s what you think. Stealing kisses, flirting with each other, calling each other babe for fun, getting jealous if someone flirts with one of you, and yet you both aren’t dating. What even is this friendship? or should you call it a relationship? It’s complicated, you hate it. You were tired of everything, is he playing with you? does he like you? You don’t know. It feels like a disguise relationship, naming it a friendship. For sake of others, when it really wasn’t the case. You don’t know anymore, thinking about this again and again, you drift off to sleep.

04 — MIXED FEELINGS.

You woke up to your phone buzzing, You reach out to your nightstand and grab your phone to see a text message from your mom as you were reading the text message from your mom, you turned off the lamp and got out of bed.

Mom — 8:23 PM Y/n me and your father are going to your grand mom’s house and I won’t be back for two days, so please take care and don’t make a mess, Love you hunny

You — 8:24 PM alright mom, take care! have a safe journey and I promise I won’t make a mess, love u too

You turn off your phone to get ready. Soon after, you got ready and ate breakfast. The house was so silent which made you happy but kinda scared for some reason. But you ignored all those scary thoughts and proceeded to watch your favourite show playing on the T.V. Your phone buzzed, You got a text message from Jaemin. When you read it, your jaw dropped. “Fuck fuck fuck.” You cussed.

Jaemin — 10:39 PM hey y/n are you free today? like 4PM so maybe we can hangout?

You — 10:40 PM Well I’m hanging out with mark at 4PM so yeah I might not be able to hangout with you if you are okay with hanging out with us, I’ll ask mark

Jaemin — 10:42 PM oh, I would love to but I dont think its good to yk kinda ruin your date with mark, it’s fine

You — 10:42 PM Nonono- we arent dating Jaemin- It’s a platonic date and you would never ruin our date, come on don’t think like that, you are a friend of ours too :(

Jaemin — 10:43 PM oh my bad- I’m sorry and dont feel sadd, thank you for being wholesome <3

You — 10:44 PM awww don’t be sorry and okay I won’t be >:) thank u for being a sweet friend too jaemin

Your heart melted, he’s too nice, he really is.

Jaemin — 10:45 PM Not more nicer than you though and lmk when your free, take careee

You — 10:46 PM oh please- not more than you and I’m free like 5PM Or 6PM I guess, I’m not sure but I’ll be free by 5PM I think

Jaemin — 10:46 PM nope, not more than you and I see, I’m free at 5PM so I’ll meet you that time

You — 10:47 PM alright

You turn of your phone and resume to watch your favourite show. After 1 hour, the show was over and it was time to order food, all you are craving for now is pizza. “Time to order bitches.” You told to yourself.

“wait so, I’m home alone so there is no one with me, means no bitches, damn.” You paused and realised, that you were home alone.

And you heard the door bell ring, you know what it means… Your food is here! You opened the door and paid for the food. You closed the door and headed to your living room, to start eating while watching a movie. Right after you finished your pizza, you washed your hands and threw the pizza box at the dustbin. You almost finish the movie and slowly drift off to sleep. You woke up and you reached to your phone on the table. “Shit, I’m getting late.” You immediately got up and hurriedly got ready and then headed off to the basketball court, and there is mark, waiting for you. “hey, mark!” You wave at him.

“hii y/n.” He waves back, you smile at him while walking towards him.

“So, before we start playing I have an idea.” You told to mark while standing in front of him.

“ohh, what is it?” He asks.

“well I’ve been thinking about a challenge, you have five chances to score a goal and I’ll be just watching you, If you can���t score a goal, There is a penalty.” You responded.

“woah, that’s a great idea!” Mark exclaimed making you excited and happy.

“Let’s do it then.” Mark told and you nodded.

“You go first.” You told and mark nodded.

“Remember you have five chances to score a goal, if you can’t score a single goal, you will have a penalty.” You told.

“I know, I know.” He responded back while looking at you.

You were so concentrated, hoping mark won’t score a goal. The first try he failed, the second and the third time he failed again. The fourth time, he almost did it making you stressed. You wanted to win so bad but then your luck sucked, making him score a goal at his last chance. Making you whine while he smirked.

“Why are you smirking idiot?” You asked.

“nothing babe, Good luck.” He said while he walked away to take a seat. You just paused, babe? fuck not this again. Your thoughts were interrupted when mark asked if you were okay.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“oh, I’m fine, it’s nothing.” You lie. You weren’t fine, you were internally screaming, Trying to look like you are okay.

“Oh alright, continue.” He told making you nod. All you need to do right now is, focus on scoring a goal. Your first chance, you failed. The second one, you failed again. The third one, you almost scored a goal, the fourth one was the same as the third one. The last chance, You failed, miserably.

“FUCK NOOOOO.” You screamed while mark started laughing.

“what’s so funny? I hate you.” You asked him while you sulked.

“You sulking. I never saw you sulk, It’s cute, you’re cute.” He responded, making your cheeks heat up, you genuinely didn’t know how to respond, you all you did was stare at him and he was staring back at you, then suddenly he pulled you by your waist making you gasp, but then sadly it wasn’t going to as romantic you thought this would go, You tripped and fell on mark and you kissed him, an accidental one. You pulled off immediately, you both stared at each other as if this was the last time you would ever be able to see each other, you immediately flinched when you heard haechan’s and renjun’s voices.

“haechan seriously? Let them enjoy, they are probably busy being lovely-dovely and we will have to third wheel them, if we find out.”

“whatever, those both are just so cute together! It’s fun knowing both of them like each other.” haechan responded, You gasped. so mark really does like you? You felt like the world stopped, You just couldn’t describe how happy you are. All of your thoughts were interrupted when you heard haechan voice, again.

“They are here, oh my fucking god. You were right renjun.” Haechan said as he turned back making you immediately try standing up but mark’s hands stopped, your eyes widened.

“oh my god, i knew it.” Renjun exclaimed. Mark let you go and you got up immediately while mark got and acted like nothing happened, making you glare. “Date already please!” Haechan cooed and renjun nodded. Mark immediately turned towards you and stared at you.

“I love you, I really do and do you mind if I call you mine?” mark spoke as he hold your hands.

“I love you too mark, but that line was too cheesy.” You mutter, Making haechan and renjun bust into laughter, Mark was embarrassed making you laugh. Then you checked your phone. It was 4:56 PM. “Okay I got to go, I have a date with Jaemin, bye!” Before you could go, mark held your hands and making you turn

“Not too fast, you lost so there is a penalty.” Mark told as he looked deep into your eyes.

“But mark, I have to go, it’s getting late-” you were cut off by mark before you could continue your sentence.

“The penalty is that you shouldn’t go on a date with Jaemin, today.”

“Mark and his jealousy will never change.” Renjun muttered while you sigh.

“I’m going home then.” You spoke.

“no, don’t. Let’s four go outside to eat something.” Mark responded making you shake your head. I shouldn’t go on a date with Jaemin but it’s okay to go on a date with these idiots, my life…

© i4hyck. Please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works.

[planetariumx]

Saw Ur Mom At The Grocery Store

Nancy Wheeler x fem!reader (this one's for my fellow girlies who love girlies)

Word Count: 1.7k (with lyrics in bold, also yes I know the one line mentions playlists on phones but just pretend it says cassette or something lol)

Summary/Warnings: Based on the song of the same title by Abby Cates (literally obsessed with it rn pls go listen!) Reader has been in love with her best friend Nancy for as long as she can remember, but things don't always work out in Hawkins do they? Oops it's all pining! very angsty but I gave it a happy ending as a treat. Jonathan and Nancy are platonic in this. NO SPOILERS FOR ST4, slight spoilers for the first 3 seasons, takes place some time between 2 & 3

Masterlist

I saw your mom at the grocery store

She said “I miss you, hope you’re doing well and I wish we saw you more”

You’re walking down the aisles in the small grocery store, scanning the shelves for the things on your list. The smell of freshly cleaned floors and the headache inducing fluorescent lights numbing your senses. A familiar voice cuts through your focus. Turning towards the source, you come face to face with Karen Wheeler. 

Cause you haven’t talked to me in at least six months

I thought that I was healed but now I’m open like a cut

Cause I saw your mom at the grocery store

And she asked me how I was

“How are you these days? It’s been so long since we’ve seen you! I’m sure Nancy would love to see you!” she continues on about what she has been up to. You’re not really listening but when she starts to say her goodbyes, you almost blurt it out.

“How’s Na- um how’s Holly?” genius save, totally not noticeable. Lucky for you, Mrs. Wheeler doesn’t seem to pick up on your little slip up, more than happy to talk about her youngest child. You’re just about to stop her with some lame excuse but she glances at her watch with a gasp. 

“Oh my, I’ve just been talking your ear off hon! I really should get home and start dinner, have a good one dear!” and with that she rushes off to pay for her groceries. 

I should’ve told her the truth 

That I don’t know who I am after you 

And I can’t stand to look at that fucking pair of shoes I used to wear with you

Or the pictures that I framed of you

Oh I feel like I’m split in two 

But I asked about your sister instead

Cause that’s what nice girls do

Of course, Mrs. Wheeler didn’t know your true relationship with her oldest daughter, it is the 80’s after all. And you never even dated, not really. You had been friends since you were kids, you did everything together. You were in middle school when you realized how you really felt about her but were too scared to say anything, so you buried it. 

Then in high school, everything with Steve and the Upside Down happened. No matter what, you were always there for each other. You grew closer and your feelings for her only increased. When she broke up with Steve, you decided to take your chance. 

Driving home the roads all look the same to me

I pass your house, I block out all the memories

You and Nancy were hanging out in her room, some pop song playing over her radio, the light floral scent of the detergent her mom used floating through the air. Sunlight streaming in through the window, warming you as you lay on her bed. She sat at the end of it on the floor flipping through a magazine. 

“Hey Nance?” you began shakily, she hummed in response. You stared up at the ceiling, took a deep breath and continued. 

“So you know we’ve been friends for years, and we always tell each other everything right? Well there’s sorta something I’ve never told you, or anyone for that matter…” She could tell you were nervous so she moved to sit on the bed next to you and waited for you to continue.

“I- well I like girls, like in a romantic way ya know?” you picked at your nails, trying to stop your hands from shaking. 

“And there’s this girl I like, she’s really smart and kind and so beautiful. We get along really well but I’ve always been scared to say anything because I don’t want to lose her as a friend. But I can’t keep pretending, it hurts too much to see her with someone else and now I have a chance and I’m not giving it up this time I-” you take a deep breath, forgetting to breathe during your little speech. 

“I think I love you, Nancy, I think I have since we were kids.” you can’t look at her, the silence too heavy as it drags on. You mentally beg her to say something, anything, just to put you out of your misery. And then something completely unexpected happens. Her hand gently tilts your chin up so you have nowhere to look but at her. Her eyes are soft and full of love and your heart starts to beat again. She leans down and your lips meet, it takes a minute to sink in and then you’re kissing her back. It’s all smiles and happy tears and you feel like you’re flying. 

“I think I love you too” she whispers when you break apart for air. 

But good things never seem to last long in this town. Shortly after that, everything went to shit again, and you had to push your feelings to the back burner for now. But ‘for now’ turned into months, you and Nancy grew apart, you didn’t talk about what happened between you. You had expected her to come to you, maybe you were still scared to make a move. But no matter how long you sat at the phone, or stared out the front window hoping to see her, she never showed. 

Tired of waiting, you decided to take matters into your own hands, so you drove to where she worked, practicing what you would say when you saw her. But when you got there, you saw her with Jonathan Byers, and she was laughing at something he said. Your heart sank, unshed tears stinging in your eyes as you watched them drive off in his car.

I should’ve let her know that I deleted all the playlists on my phone 

Cause every time that song plays I just wanna call you 

So I meditate now but the silence is almost just as loud

You drove home in a daze, locked yourself in your room, and sobbed into the pillows on your bed. Then the sadness turned to anger, at her, at Jonathan, but mostly at yourself for waiting so long. Why didn’t you just call her? Why were you still so scared of losing her that you hid from her? You just ended up losing her anyway. 

You took down all the pictures you had with her, put them in a shoebox in your closet with all the cassette tapes she had given you. On top of the box sat a pair of shoes that you used to wear because she said she liked them once. Sure it’s cliche but you were distraught. You avoided going places you knew she could be, hiding like a coward because you were too scared to see her again. Really only leaving the house when your mom needed you to pick something up from the store.

I should’ve told her the truth

I’ve been terrified for months of seeing you

Oh I’ll never be the same

And that’s how you ended up standing alone in the bread aisle watching Mrs. Wheeler get in her car and drive away, desperately trying to keep the tears from falling. 

You don’t really remember how you got home, just dropping the bag of food on the kitchen counter and trudging to your room, ignoring the questions from your mom. All the feelings came back to the surface as you slid to the floor, feeling your heart turn to glass and fall to the bottom of the deep aching pit in your stomach, shattering like it does every time. Too numb to put the pieces together just yet. Content to let the sadness pull you under. 

You don’t get much sleep that night, never even moved from your spot on the floor. But now the sun beams that signaled a new day are shining directly in your eyes. You slowly sit up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and looking around. The muffled sound of the  phone ringing cuts through the silence, your mom shouts from downstairs, says it’s for you. 

So you pull yourself off the floor and make your way to the phone, grumbling a half-asleep ‘hello’ into the line. The voice that comes through the receiver jolts you fully awake. 

“Hey, it’s Nancy… Can we talk? In person?” the sound of her voice stirs the shards of your heart, making you feel light headed. You make a plan to meet at the park in an hour, and you rush back to your room to put on fresh clothes. 

She’s already there when you arrive, beaming at you when she sees you. The pit in your stomach suddenly doesn’t seem so dark. She pulls you into a big hug when you reach her, tears you didn’t know you still had start to roll down your cheeks. She hears you sniffle and pulls back, wiping the drop with her thumb. Nancy takes your hand and leads you to a secluded area with a bench, beckons you to sit with her, and begins to speak.

“Listen, I know things have been crazy recently, but I’m so sorry for not reaching out sooner. I guess I thought maybe you didn’t mean it or you didn’t want to talk about it. My mom said she saw you yesterday and I just knew I had to see you again. I would have called right away but I was so scared that you would hate me. Jonathan said I should just go for it, said that even if nothing came of it, at least I tried. So here I am, and I still feel the same way I did before, I just hope I’m not too late.” She’s looking at you as she finishes what she needed to say. Her eyes are glossy, and now it’s her turn to silently beg you to say something. 

So you decide to do what she did before, you cup her cheek and lean in. Your lips meet and she lets out a relieved sigh, her hand holding yours on her cheek. Those glass shards of your heart start to put themselves back together and you once again feel like flying. 

You spend the rest of the day with Nancy, catching up after so long apart. She takes you to the grocery store and buys your favorite snacks, and you spend the night laughing in her room where it all started. And when you get home the next day, you dig through your closet and pull out that shoebox with a smile on your face. Maybe good things do happen in this town.

[trekkienatural]

I heard that a bunch of people are experiencing a blackout rn so if this is you, here's what you should do. (Disclaimer: I lived in Egypt for 6 years and blackouts were incredibly common. Most of my knowledge is applicable anywhere but I'm not the best person to ask for cold weather advice, but I do know a lot from research I've done.)

-FIll up every bathtup and sink in your house with water. As soon as you can. If your water is safe to drink and you don't have a supply, you can drink this, but use it sparingly and it can also be used to flush your toliet. (You'll need a bucket though.)

-Don't open your fridge or freezer unless you absolutely have to. You want everything in there as cold as possible for as long as possible.

-Candles, flashlights, any light source should be good. Find as many as you can.

-If it's cold, especially at night, get every blanket and pillow in your home and sleep cuddled up together. Essentially, you're making a fort to keep the heat in and the cold out.

-Portable phone chargers and the like should be used incredibly sparingly and only when you need to use them. Save them for as long as you can.

-Never ever ever run a generator inside your house. At least 50 feet away, preferably more.

-Please don't try to heat your home with a gas oven/stove. It will end horribly for you and your home.

-I know that this was caused by a storm, so if you have things that need to be kept dry, plastic tupperware and ziploc bags are amazing. Trust me, you'll have some big ones around somewhere if you need something big protected.

-If you have pets, specifically dogs, please keep them inside except to go to the bathroom. Keep them on a leash then. You don't want them out in the storm, especially when you can't call anyone if they run off. They're probably scared and need some hugs.

-If you have cats, keep them inside, keep them warm, and please please please cuddle with them if they'll let you. It'll make them feel protected. They're smart, they'll know something's up.

-Unplug everything you can from outlets because even though there's no power, jolts do happen when they try and get everything working, and lightbulbs in lamps will start popping. (Broken glass is bad, twice as bad if you can't see it.)

-If you don't have cold weather gear for any reason, layered hoodies, flannel, and leather (shocker) will keep you warm too. Blankets are going to be your best friend until this is over.

Please please be safe and please boost this post. It could do some good.

[yes-i-have-thoughts]

My Friend the Alternate

So the CWAAA AU, eh

I heard a song called ‘My Friend the Ghost’ about a month ago and immediately tie it to this AU. I had to either draw something for it or write about it, and since I can’t draw to save my life rn (random art style deterioration my behated) I’m gonna write instead

I’m not as caught up in this AU as I should be, I am ashamed to say. But regardless.

TW for suicidal thoughts and references to source events. Please do not tag as ship, this is purely platonic

We get along like peas in a pod, sounds kinda odd, but when I need a friend

He bounces in and starts playing host-well, look who’s standing here! My friend the ghost.

“Will you just-GET SOMEBODY OUT HERE!! A detective, a SWAT team a-a-the US army, I don’t CARE anymore just HELP ME!!” “We’re going to send you help, sir, just stay calm. Everything will be alright.” Mark wanted to throw the phone against the wall with the operator in it. He pulled on his already-messy bangs, the pain just making him more agitated. “You have been saying that for three days. NOBODY has come to help me. NOBODY.” “I apologize, sir, but we are running low on units-” A knock came at the door. Mark winced as he bit his already-bleeding lip. “Shit. The honeymoon is over. Look-please, I am begging you, just send one person to-” There was an unmistakable click of the person on the other end hanging up the phone. Mark threw his in infuriated despair and watched it clatter against the far wall. A few pieces went flying and landed on a certain safe where he kept a gun paranoia drove him to buy. Of course, the gun was now sitting on top of the safe, one last magazine sitting inside. Mark stumbled his way over to the pistol as if he were being manipulated by a puppeteer. The knocking turned impatient, then into hammering; all ignored by him as he stared at the gun in his hand. No one was going to come get him. The rest of his family didn’t even know what was going on. He suddenly wished against all hope that he had gone with them, that he had taken the trip with them, maybe he could have saved himself. He wouldn’t have been able to stop what happened to Cesar, but he could’ve saved himself. Too late now. The clock struck midnight as he made up his mind. His mother’s grandfather clock sounded slower than usual as it sounded out the hour like a death toll. He reached for the doorknob with shaky hands, gripped it like a lifeline, swallowed his pride and threw the door open. He barely had time to register the massive shadow in front of him before it bowled him over and caused Mark to pull the trigger early, putting a hole in the ceiling. Some giant, shadowy feline creature was soon propping him up with one hand and glaring into the darkness beyond his doorway; it’s muzzle split by a jagged mouth and rows of sharp teeth. Hatred and anger came off this thing like waves, yet the weight on Mark’s shoulder was so familiar it made his heart ache. It was a simple thing he and Cesar would do-put some of their weight into the hand on the others’ shoulder to ground each other. It was cheesy, it was stupid and it worked. The creature spent a moment daring the darkness to do something before the mouth closed and seemed to become erased. The eye that Mark could see widened to look more akin to a friendly cat’s and the creature nudged him with its head, almost like a nuzzle. “Are you okay?” Of course. What did he expect? Three days of being tormented by his friend’s voice, it wasn’t about to stop just because this one decided to pay nice. Though Cesar’s voice coming from it sounded...Different. It wasn’t hollow or teasing, it didn’t sound like it was coming from a record player, it sounded just like Cesar was right next to him. Cesar’s warm, worried voice came from this thing like there was a hidden speaker on it and he was watching from somewhere else. He resisted the urge to look out the window for him. He already knew what was going to be there, it wasn’t going to be Cesar. As if sensing the teen’s confusion, the creature nudged him with its head again. “C’mon, don’t just say nothing. Did I hurt you?” “Did y...Uh, no.” “Good. Did anyone out there hurt you?” “N-N...No.” This was ridiculous. Here he was, having a conversation with what seemed to be an alternate that had his friend’s voice down pat. It even looked like him, if you ignored the obvious void: the fluffy black hair, the worried grey-green eye, the way it was scrunched up earlier as the creature threatened whatever horrors were beyond Mark’s door... Hold on. “Cesar?” “Took you long enough to figure it out.” The alternate nuzzled him again. “Usually you’re more attentive.” “But y-how did y-I thought you were-?” “Long story.” Cesar patted his shoulder and crouched like a predatory cat as something in the darkness snarled. “Now stay back. I’m gonna get you out of here if it’s the last thing I do.”

[lovee-infected]

This idea just hit me like a train. How would twst boys react to WAP from Cardi B?? 😂😂😂

I'm trying to ignore the fact that I might've never discovered WAP without this request...🗿

Warning(s): What should I even tag as the warning idkk ckcjxjsjsjdjdjck- Mentions of WAP's lyrics, mentions of nsfw, Warning for Idia's part bc I think it went a bit too far-

Riddle Rosehearts

Heard of this song named WAP being trending between students -> Searched it up -> Riddle:... Riddle: *Turns off his phone*

Bans WAP from the whole Heartslabyul afterwards, and every student found listening to it will have to face Riddle's: "NOOOOOOO- NO WAP IN THIS HOUSEHOLD - GO TO HORNY JAIL OFF WITH YOUR HEADS YOU UNWORTHY CREATURES- "

Trey Clover

Searches: "What does WAP mean?" before wards and after reading the search results he decides that he doesn't really need to listen to the song itself anymore.

He just clears his browsing history and returns to baking cakes. Nothing has happened, he knows nothing.

Cater Diamond

He is the guy making those "Night raven college react to WAP!!" videos on magicam. His reaction videos get over 100k views and people from all over the Twisted Wonderland start following this dork for them.

Who cares about the WAP itself? As long as he can gain followers over these videos he doesn't care how the song is supposed to be.

But at last Riddle discovers his videos by finding other dorms' students laughing over them and forces him to take them down💀 Man, Riddle really did ruin his once-in-a-life time chance for becoming popular.

Ace Trappola and Deuce Spade

Riddle has banned WAP Heartslabyul so they're going to illegally listen to it. It was Ace's fault though, Deuce is innocent.

Ace searchs up the music video, Deuce just sees the thumbnail and tells Ace that he doesn't think that this is going to be a good idea but Ace cuts him off by asking him not to be such a chicken-

Though they had to stop because Deuce was all shaky and embarrassed after just 20 seconds :"Stop this-STOP THIS- I CAN'T DO THIS- WE'RE STILL TOO YOUNG" and Ace had to stop to shut Deuce because they could've gotten caught at any second because of his unholy screams.

[a few minutes later...]

Deuce: It was saying DOORS in this house

Ace: Bruh what the- we both know it was saying Wh*res.

Deuce: Y-you dirty minded bastard!! It was clearly saying doors in this house!

Ace: Why the hell would they say doors in this house!??? It was wh*res!

Deuce: Doors!

Ace: WH*RES

Deuce: DOORS

Ace: WH*RES

Deuce: DOOOOORRRSSSSSSSSS

Leona Kingscholar

See he might be a jerk but he hasn't yet gotten to the level of appreciating this way of presenting women in songs-

He's just going to pretend that WAP doesn't exist,but most of the Savanaclaw on the other hand are going wild because with WAP, now he can't even take a peaceful nap without WAP being looped in his brain.

Ruggie Bucchi

WAP isn't beyond his power, he's handled stronger songs.✨ He'd regularly rap WAP in public when he's feeling like it.

Now he goes around to recommend WAP to naïve students and taint their virginity by making them listen to WAP without knowing what it is-

Jack Howl

Catches Ace and Deuce listening to WAP and ends up listening to it because of them. He doesn't knpw what to say...

He isn't mad, just disappointed. Disappointed parent noises. Out of all these students, why should he best buddies which these two?

Time to drag Ace and Deuce to a corner and give them a long speech on why young men their age need to be focusing on mastering skills and achieving success through these golden years instead of violating rules and tainting their pure minds.

"Trappola-kun, Spade-kun, you've greatly disappointed me. You need to be more mindful of your actions as fellow freshmen of night raven college. Is this how the future's great magicians are going to be? How do you think your parents would feel about this new habit of yours? Have you thought of how despicable women are being presented through such songs? Are you going to support such a taboo message toward ladies?"

And Ace and Deuce end up having to listen to him and think of their bad actions for the rest of the day...

Azul Ashengrotto

[Before listening to WAP]: He hears of this WAP song being super trending between students. What might it secret be? What kind of magic would make a simple song so hecking popular? He has to find out.

Azul thinks that by learning WAP's ways, he might be able to produce songs that are even better for mostrolounge and even start his very own music company! But before that he needs to listen to wap itself...

[After listening to WAP]: ...He discovers what kind of magic is making it so popular, but decides that it'd be better for him take a step back from the world of music for now. Yes, he's traumatized

Floyd Leech

"Hey hey koooeeebiii chaaannnn have you seen my new dance~?" ah yes, he's got the WAP dance and he's proud of it. These are the time when he's genuinely thankful for getting to have human legs.

But the WAP dance isn't his only target, he realizes that Jamil doesn't seem to want Kalim to know anything about WAP, but thankfully, Floyd is going to be kind enough to bless the young Kalim with his wealthy knowledge on WAP. ✨

Jade Leech

"My...my...that was savage," Jade is amazed, it's quite wonderful how these fragile creatures can go from Micheal Jackson's smooth criminal to WAP in a matter of years.

He's still having trouble keeping up with latest human trends and popular songs but, he's slowly liking humans a lot more than before. These creatures have already reached the level to make put p*rn in music, impressive.

Kalim Al Asim

He hears students whispering about an epic song named WAP during the classes, and of course he'd be intrigued!

He looks up the song but Jamil has already blocked his access to any sources that he might find WAP in, yet Floyd was kind enough to lend Kalim his phone to let him listen to this masterpiece. Later on, Floyd tells him about the WAP dance and bam, Kalim is addicted.

"Everyone watch me! I've got the WAP!"

Poor Jamil doesn't know which is worse, having Kalim signing it loudly in the dorm or watching him showing off his skills in that WAP dance in public. It's time for Jamil to go on a long, long trip and never come back until Kalim graduates from this school.

Jamil Viper

Listens to WAP once, is going to spend the rest of his life pretending that he has never heard or watched it. The most ironic part about it is how he watches the music video instead of just listening to the song and...the snakes. Good lord the snakes- He isn't sure if he likes snakes anymore.

The snakes part seriously traumatizes him but not like Kalim does when he asks Jamil to learn him the WAP dance. And heck no Jamil isn't going to learn him how to dance like a wh*re. At this point, he decides to deny WAP's whole existence.

Kalim: At least tell me what a WAP is!

Jamil:

Jamil: Worship and prayer.

Vil Schoenheit

Hasn't listened to WAP and refuses to do so. He's got standards.

Rook Hunt

"Bravo!!! These Mademoiselles have taken the art of music to a whole nother level! Beaute! 100 points! 💯" (...what else did you expect him to say?)

Just as always, no one can really tell if Rook really liked it or not but from the way he acts he seems to be... intrigued. Apparently WAP starts to get too famous in school and Rook would always be the first one to find out if a student is secretly listening to WAP in public, so he doesn't mind popping up and reminding the students not to listen to such a potentially stimulating song so carelessly: "Monsieur (x), it's adorable to see you appreciating such a glorious piece of art in this lovely day, but I don't think that all of these students staring at us right now are yet prepared for such a beauty,"

Epel Felmier

He just asked Ace for some music that'll make him sound more badass and Ace gave him the WAP:

Epel listening to WAP be like:😳😶😨😕😭

His face is redder than a tomato after the first 30 seconds of WAP, but Ace tells him that he'd be the bravest human being ever if he takes the urge to listen to this in front of teachers.

Tries to dance to WAP and make a video with it to upload on magicam, but Vil catches him in the middle of process.💀💀💀 The video turned out pretty good though. It looks just like a mother (Ehm- Vil) getting into her child's room (Epel-) and finding them doing some crazy shit.

Idia Shroud

He's the silent and seemingly shy dude who's listening to WAP in the highest volume under those head phones during classes.

Divus Crewel: CaF2(s) + Br2(ℓ) → CaBr2(s) + F2(g)...

Inside Idia's headphones: " ~ Wh*res in this house~ there some wh*res in this house~ there some wh*res in this house~ there some wh*res in this house~"

Bonus: He once forgets to connect his headphones to his tablet before playing WAP:

[Wap is being played at max volume inside Trein's class]

Idia: *Thinks that the sound is coming from his head phones*

The classroom: "Beat it up, n*gga, catch a charge

Extra large and extra hard

Put this p**sy right in your face

Swipe your nose like a credit card"

Trein: 😳

Students: 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

Crowley about to jump down: 🤭

Idia still not realizing what the hell is going on: 'Lucy lucy baby~ hihihi- wait- why they all staring at me now...? Did they hear me internally flirt with Lucius?'

No need to say what happened to Idia after this...

Ortho Shroud

No WAP for him. You may find him reacting to "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" if you're interested.🗿

Malleus Draconia

Thank goodness he just finds the censored version of WAP... Listens to the whole song, but doesn't understand most of the lyrics. The "Put this cookie right in your face" part confuses him the most, he doesn't get it. Why would you put a cookie in your face? Is this something humans usually to do with their desserts? Like, would they put ice cream in their faces too?

Virgin dragon keeps on asking people, including Lilia, to tell him what it means to put a cookie in one's face, yet no one seems to give him any proper answers ):

Perhaps human music just isn't his thing, he's getting back to sad violin noises which he listens to when he isn't invited.

Lilia Vanrouge

WAP go brrrrrrr. Our sassy grandpa is legit in love with this piece of gold and all of the humans for achieving such a glory. The beat is superb and the lyrics are: Delicious, motivational and creatively written.

Even better, WAP has an unofficial but smexy dance too. Old man Lilia is never too old for performing a sexy physically challenging dance.

You can now hear savage rock sounds combined with WAP playing in the background coming from his room when he's vibing in the afternoon.

(I can totally see him wearing a neko maiden costume while dancing to WAP and you can't tell me otherwise)

Silver

Finds WAP in papa Lilia's playlist...

Silver:

Silver:

Sebek Zigvolt

Sweet mother of love Sebek feels like listening to WAP has taken his virginity away-

He is a good boy, no, he once was a good boy. He's no longer the worthy man he used to be now that this unholy song has tainted his soul.

Legit feels guilty and and sinful after WAP, so you can find him praying for forgiveness to that Malleus portrait in his room every night.

"Oh young master forgive my thoughtless deeds, I beg for your mercy upon me now that I've sinned..."

Dire Crowley

Not saying that a drag Queen Crowley dancing to WAP would be a thing, but a drag Queen Crowley dancing to WAP would be a thing- Everyone bow down to the Headmaster, the most gracious of them all 😩😩😩👌🏻

Please, don't blame him. Birby is under too much of pressure after the very recent overblot cases and he needs a way to let go of the stress😔😔😔

Sam

Is illegally selling copies of the WAP because most of the dorms had blocked access to this song for the students...

"Helloooooo little demons I've got the WAP! In stuck now-"

[madfantasy]

I haven't seen you post in a while, I hope you've been doing okay? How is everything? Hope it's been a good year so far for you 💕💕

You're too kind, u & everyone who made inquiries, bless ur hearts.. im sorry for disappearing, but yeah, I don't have net— using my phone credit and hope this posts..

I tried to record my voice answering this, like I sometimes did on tik, suddenly ended up trying to muffle the floods of my burning tears, so now I have an awkward vid of me talking then weeping out of nowhere, which a good reason for me to keep up the no cry habit, heh.. but seriously, I suppose I'm fine till I be conscious of it.. its much easier for not to talk .. even tho I'm aching to be back in thy company, lonely in my foresight to catch on to the present that joins us, hand held out to reach like minded souls but shying from the fear of forgetfulness occurring..

I'm fine tho, did few new stuff, merely drowning in too muchness and nothingness as usual, this month I guess you could say I took an act of mad fury in search of any happy source because the echoing silence and the swarm of sadness nipping on my brain cells thickened, and the reasoning merged with the obscene. So instead of giving my guardians the usual of 3/4 of my earnings last month for net and groceries, I spent it all. Ya know, as it was told to me it mine to do as I please? As being prevented any chance of work if it was possible, 't was supposed to be spent on art supplies & measly delights craved for years ?

Before hand, I've been begging them to take me for months to get any clothing or whatever, be it the first time I ever see a shop, then just to drive around, then just me peaking to the outside when the front door is open, merely seeking change I suppose. They kept vaguely promising me until they refused point blank— getting tired of my nagging, then their car just stopped working till this day. Its in the workshop rn..

Anyway, befouled by despair, needing the mere basics of life and not granted, I was delighted when i found a site to buy from cheap & pretty, I pressed buy without any further considerations, or taking their permission and thrilled to be able get gifts for my siblings too. I say gifts but really they are deprived necessities too and not even much just one each cuz well, they are 5 of my babies and to start with the top of priorities; we all draw

I could already see it, they can't help themselves; heck seeped through the clenched gates of their mouths, trying desperately to poison me with undirect attempts this time, cuz I bought for my sibs they're out of the option of calling me selfish. I was upping the same trance like state of vague existence dealing with them, absorbing their insults and degrading just to make sure my shi arrives safe.

Unfortunate for me, the site chose the worst carrier in this country

I did everything in my power to make it into their convenience, by embarrassingly messaging the carrier daily, they took a week of promising to deliver and flanking so my guardians reached a heated level of threatening, waving their hands nd almost tossing shi at mE saying that they don't care if they came and if i dared to order something again they'll do this and that. Not allowing me to open the door for the delivery guy when he comes, blaming me for missing vaccination dates (they kept missing them even before)& missing going to important places(again, they just didn't go to for ages), made them loose sleep, etc etc— in turn, I seen red and regretfully blew up.

I screamed at them its literally the only time I ever did this, it BECAUSE it easier on them & I'll do what I want whatever anyway, & to stop interrupting me while I try to explain things , then they suddnly back done and be like I'm not mad at u I'm mad at the delivery ppl, that they are proud of me for being able to do all this, and such sort. I left them to cool in my room, Idk how I did it but must have slam-gripped something so hard it chipped most of my short nails & cracked one, was glad I didn't hurt my drawing hand but yeah, goofy mani

They robbed me of the joy of anticipation & the dissipation of apathy, I started to lose sleep again and my liberating dreams left me and I don't think I remember leaving bed.

But still, If not force myself to do things.. there'll be nothing for me if I don't.. at least I know im able of that

I got my guardians happy tho after another tiresome refusal, by trying out one of those Uber-eat like local apps here, since they have no car and being disabled & ill, I ordered McDonald's for the first time. Slythry behind their backs per habit, told them someone coming and they had that look again, but thankfully the guy came through and didn't steal my money, heh. For a big 1800 calories meal I suppose it was passable, the happy fam faces I got was the real treat..

Oh with that thing with the credit card stating I owe them money, waited weeks & nobody got back to us? They started taking from my guardian's account directly to pay it, saying oh we did send you warnings--- TO THE SHADOWY LINES OF THEIR POSTERIOR A.K.A NOWHERE. Thankfully the account is mostly empty nd just for random transactions, i alerted my guardians not to use it. And again, my god, another round of endless calls and promises started, and we wait again so they just don't act as if we owe them a frking 17k dollars that we don't have.. was panicking cuz I have nothing and but my guardians were weirdly comforting about it and told me not to worry

One thing good bout no net is it made me stop thinking about life in general, and stop the tiny unnoticeable prick of misery when I have no input to share, trying not to helplessly compare people just living, in inflated style or not, in media, to my isolated-most-of-my-life style and missing much of that organic "life experiences and chances", heh. At least, my situation would be favorable to me if it was ever possible for it to let me have peace, or have the simple knowledge I'm not virtually imprisoned and have never familiarised with nothing of this world but the surrounding walls.. its nice to have more time to be consumed by muse and day dreaming that flutters life through my dull being and sing chorus of inspiring means for art to flow and finds its way delicately onto my realised canvas.. but no, I continued drawing whilst sight blurred with salty droplets contradicting that happy tintin dance on tiktok I worked so long on just cuz I couldn't stop, not the tears or the mad scribbles of determined intention to visualise the mourned excitement I need, hating everything I make

Somehow the lilac dream still intrudes, visualising me friends, living, in a quaint home, maybe we roommate, arm in arm we go to make every fracture of fate's encounters a disgusting adventurous thrill, like building a maze of cardboard or chasing each other in the dark.. maybe getting that half bleached head and endless ear pericings ... then it dies and I totally forget it..

But what those awesome headphones helped me do, literally blocks all their voices listening to Sev losing it and I can Waltz around not feeling gutted to go and interfere or play the referee each time. But I can't wear them forever, gives me a bad headache, and honestly; I can't be too neglectful.. my sibs hates me for it already hehe

At least these clothing came true to their measurements, felt the new sensations on how everything I wore hugs me & learnt the baffling ways on how "gender" and region plays different tunes on the same measurements. Getting fitting things felt like suddenly there's hope to be, for myself to be me, and ease this severe disassociation between who I am, and what my body is .. from how little I see myself nd consider it worthy of anything because of how long it been living like a phantom among people.. to numb this dysphoria until it be gone one day

Saddened that the only site I can't order from again if they keep using that awful carrier

...

I missed our country's 91 national day, too. They made sales everything 91 riyal so.. but knowing the sellers here, I don't think most of em went true with their offers.. Horrible news tho on the celebrations, sigh

I turned this into a dear diary, guess bothered you enough today, sorry

So thankful to yous, Idk if I can be back, but I'll remain creating, and will keep the thought alive of being tickled when sharing my creations with your viewing pleasure somehow

'till then my precious dears, take care 💛🙏

26.9.2021, 8 pm, sleeping

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise! 

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.  MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:  MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:  MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult. 

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.  (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”