#and i bagged up some clothes too
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also i have like two buckets full of stuff to put out next weekend for a yardsale. any profits I get will go towards buying weed <3
#and i bagged up some clothes too#i should really get rid of more clothes but i still struggle with the idea of "but what if xyz and then i have to beg for new clothes' from#when i was a kid even tho I'm able to go out and buy clothes whenever i want without asking anyone#and it's hard to have a minimal closet rn because the washingmachine (brand new) is already broken and not working right anymore#it never does a full load always leaving them soggy without spinning. right now it wont even fill the basin#literally wont even wet the clothes and then it's like 'lol I'm done'#makes me lose my fucking mind#the only possible way to bypass it is by putting in no more than FOUR CLOTHES at a time and putting it on the bedding setting#im soooo glad i dont pay the water bill#literally fucking ridiculous. and then you have to put those same four clothes in for 4 rounds of the washing machine cause they still have#stuff on em#like.#:))))))#this post was derailed hardcore#but no fr i finally got rid of so much shit that was just laying around taking up space. anything that i cant sell I'm just gonna throw awa#cause i need to downsize to move out#i even managed to downsize the number of boxes i already have filled with stuff. takes up easily half of what it used to.#im also gonna be getting rid of my mattresses soon and replacing them with a futon cause i like them better and it would take up less space#they technically arent even my mattresses in the first place & they suck. like sleeping on the floor. I'm buying a futon on Friday <3#is this what having your shit together feels like???
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it just idea .......
#not art (yet) babeyy#had the thought of '' ogh hyperfem barbarian!fig'' the other day and. well thats another design set#and adaine's our Hoodie Kid™ this time#but the specifics of these silhouettes are kinda tricky#esp. with adaine and like. how to differentiate her and gorgug (who still wears a hoodie the normal way in freshman year)#still straight up have No idea what fabian and kristen look like yet...#they and riz are like the self-seekers coming into this freshman year and riz true to form looks like Nothing. just Absolute Squat#so it makes a Little sense if they go that way too. but thats like. idk I dont foresee that being visually interesting#no actually I dont think I can make kristen look like just some guy if I actively try. so we'll see about her#just thinking a little bit abt adaine showing up at school with a bag full of clothes she can change into so shes not wearing#the damn hudol uniform the whole day. but no second pair of shoes so she's wearing That with the mary janes#fig offers to switch shoes with her every day at school until adaine ends angwyn's life#(still gotta actually put it down on paper but I dont think fig stays hyperfem the whole way thru I think kristen is her awakening to#more aesthetics. which is funny bc I think kristen is the most Character character of them all. shes like naruto shes got a closet#of just the same pieces)#(this is a liittle bit informed by my exmo friend's stories. but also its an adhd thing sometimes. from experience)
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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I am (1) mental breakdown away from becoming one of those ppl that only wear 1 color at all times
#like the old lady who only wears pink…except mine would probably be blue#in other words ive been going thru my clothes after work this week#to donate the stuff I never wear and even tho I KNOW I never wear certain things or they straight up don’t fit#I’ve been going THRU IT BC I GET EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO CLOTHES!!#anyway I have 6 bags to donate and 1 of stuff that is going to textile recycling bc of stains/holes#aughghgh it’s so hard I want to keep everything forever like a pack rat but I won’t….#it’s hard for me to accept my style and clothes priorities have changed over the years esp recently#there’s so much I want to hold onto for nostalgias sake too but reasonably I know I’ll never want to wear some of it again#BECAUSE of the memories. 😔#this would somehow be solved by throwing out all my clothes and becoming a Blue Minimalist#kind of joking I’d also want to keep purple white pink and gold in my wardrobe too#anyway I’m gonna ask my little cousins if they wanna go thru the bags first before I donate them bc they’ve expressed interest in my more#silly clothes before 🤔 I do not want to go thru the effort of depop rn even tho I know for a fact some of the clothes are worth money#no mental energy for that lately it’s winter I’m in hibernation mode (seasonal affective disorder) 😔✌️#sanchoyorambles
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i got my bag zipped up 🥳
but only barely 🥲
#ramblin but not a gamblin man#I’ll probably need to open it back up tho cuz i think i actually want to keep my toothbrush and stuff in my backpack#so that i dont need to mess with my bag during the flight 🥴#im probably packing too many pairs of pants…..but im pretty sure my shirts are what’s making it so full……..#and ill need to probably pack some smaller clothes things in my backpack……#mmmmm i wanna worry about it tomorrow but i should probably do it now 😭#we’ll see lol
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i was a bit too productive too close together and now i feel like im dying
#took out the trash came back up took my bag went to the grocery store came back did some laundry went back up cut a peach and sat for less#than 10 minutes went to get my clothes and put some more in the machine came back up hung the first clothes#which i know isnt that much but im on my period which makes me lightheaded a lot easier than usual (which is already too easy)#now i have to clean the bathroom and maybe dishes again cause i did them in the morning but then i made bountys and theres stuff in it again#but first im gonna finish my peach and study some more and i can do that after i start feeling like i can stand up again#at least i dont have to deal with the rest of the laundry for about an hour#okay bye#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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i finished making a bag!!!!! will post pics whnever i first get a chance to use it but it's like a lil shoulder bag made of my old flannel shirt and it even has a zipper and a pocket on the inside im the goddess of sewing
#the one hiccup was when i sewed the lining to the main bag the zipper somehow ended up slightly crooked??#like the side seams on the outside + the lining match up but somehow the end of the zipper doesn't hit that spot#i think maybe it was slightly too long or i didn't pin it well enough or smth? idk i don't understand geometry sewing is hard#but i have a functional bag that's such a slouchy oversized shape anyway that u can't rly tell it's slightly crooked#im just happy i turned a piece of clothing into something new and usable#i bought that shirt in like high school and it ended up with like massive tears up both sides and some of the buttons fell off#it was just generally at the end of its life#but most of the fabric was still good so here we areeeee#bri babbles
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#dont call anyone im safe im fine im just venting. tw for suicide/self harm/kind of intense language. ideally no ones reading this tho#bro i cant keep living like this#i dread waking up every day so much that i dread even falling asleep#i got insomnia medication in my system and my brain is still like nope absolutely not#i cant keep up at my job even when i am rested enough#i get headaches every other day#my instant mental reaction in the face of stress is to hurt myself (i have not)#like fuck. i work for the disability department of an insurance company#i know for a fact that (probably) every contract stipulates we wont cover disabilities as a result of self inflicted injuries#which is supposed to prevent ppl from taking advantage of the system or whatever#and im always like if someone goes to the lengths of actively injuring themselves to the point of disability#in the name of 'getting out of work'#that person is not 'taking advantage of the system' THAT PERSON IS FUCKING MENTALLY ILL#AND I WOULD KNOW BC I AM ONE OF THOSE PPL#do not come for me on some shit about wanting to disable yourself being morally questionable i cant be concerned abt that rn#i gotta focus on the fact that i hate my life so much id rather break my own right hand than continue it#its an improvement from the active suicidal ideation but its still a symptom of the passive ideation#fucking hell. im too self aware so i absolutely feel like im faking it or making shit up so i can be lazy and not work and whatever#but FUCKING CHRIST theres no way. if i had a choice i wouldnt let myself feel like this.#i just got to a point where i can live alone and support myself. i was so happy and so proud of myself. I don't want to lose that#but god every phone call i have to make for work makes me want to hurt myself. every early morning (and there arent many!!! i mostly work#from home!!!) makes me wish i was dead. i have to sleep for hours after work more often than not. i cant really maintain my living space#theres fucking. mold and discoloration and shit on a bunch of my clothes and some of my bags and shit!!#cause i cant fucking keep my room clean and my basement apartment got fucking humid over the summer and so much moisture got trapped#i constantly have dirty dishes getting moldy before i get to them#i just dont have the fucking energy. i want to take better care of my space. i want to be more social. i just want to go to sleep without#fucking dreading waking up. i wanna go a full week without a headache. i want my stress response to be something other than the intense and#overwhelming desire to cut myself. if i start again i dont know if ill be able to stop and i know i wont be able to keep it to my arms/legs/#easily hidden parts of my body. last breakdown i escalated to my face and i know ill pick up from there.#fuck
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just wanna say im obsessed with your mind and i read your posts about kiryu like the morning paper. thank you for your service
(Sweats) e-even the ones about him laying eggs ?
#Thanks for the ask !#HIIIIII thank you for reading my posts im really a serial rambler so that is no easy feat. i just had a lowkey nightmare that was insect#based so its nice to think about different kinds of eggs once in a while. sorry for the eggs i just learned the word gravid and i cant stop#saying it !!! i literally opened tumblr to make another post about kiryu i was gonna say he was probably antisocial in his childhood which#is really a miracle any girls managed to notice him at all. and i believe that he was very dismissive of his clothing and appearance because#you know when youre young and trans and havent realised it but you just randomly hate everything about your appearance and dont even knowwhy#i think his hair was always too long and too shaggy and he would let nishiki comb it sometimes because he really could not stand his mane#and sometimes when it gets wayy too long and shitty the sunflower caretaker would drag him outside and just cut a chunk of it off with a#knife and kiryu would have shoulder length hair for a little while... anyway i need to give him a little girlfriend like how rikiya had one#when he was in school because all trans guys need a little girlfriend or an all girl group of friends to be his girlfriends when hes a kid#so he can carry their shopping bags and wait for them outside the changing room etc and kiryu cant resist a girl so he gets a letter from#nishiki and he tells him yeah this is probably a prank to have you wait there for hours or there might be guys waiting to ambush you and#beat the crap out of you. and kiryus like Nobody beats the crap out of me except our dad. and goes to meet this girl and he actually agrees#to go out with her and this is the thing that keeps him in school because otherwise he would literally not go. like hed walk with yumi and#nishiki and the rest of the kids at sunflower that he doesnt care about to remember the names of. and he would just wave them off at the#gate and wander the town in his school uniform and then after school he’ll meet nishiki and possibly yumi at the gate (yumi probably makes#other friends but its a Must to walk nishiki home because he’ll get lonely) and when kiryu starts going out with this girl hes obligated to#walk her home so he already broke rule one but nishikis like happy for him But he has to walk home with some other random guys now and#eventually theyll broach the topic of ‘his psycho sister’ and nishiki literally has to beat a few guys up to defend kiryus honour and when#he comes back with news of how unpopular kiryu is with the rest of the guys because he looks better with short hair than they do and has a#girlfriend whos super cute. kiryu is just like damn did you commit social suicide to protect my honour? youre my best friend. but whatever#kids get over it fast. but parents dont!! and kiryu walks his girlfriend right to her front door and soon enough her parents are going to#find out that the boyfriend she keeps gushing about is a girl and straight up take her out of school to make her stop being gay and kiryus#like but ... im a boy ... punches the ground and screams to the sky. anyway enough about dysphoria simulator im here to talk about this guy#when hes a bit older because im salivating and shaking over the thought of his bootyass rip kiryu you woulda loved thongs. i think hed hate#ripped jeans but only because he thinks theyre a waste of manufacturing. its literally better for the world that kiryu decided 2 transition#because can you imagine if she was a girl and needed to wear a bra? like she would literally have an itchy back all the time which would#give her a hair trigger temper which means kamurocho a&e room will be very healthily plush indeed. god my battery is dying i need to take a#shower noww anyway really thank you for the nice message you are so sweet ... hi ...
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SHIT.
Just realised that I'm going to want to dress up hot for the street party pride market on Sunday.
Uuuughhh i have to check the weather and I'm going to need to do some washing, I think my mesh shirt is dirty
#the system speaks#buuuuuhhhhhhh#i love to look hot but i hate to dress up#too many clothes textures tight in weird spots#but i really want to look gay and hot bc i am#but ALSO because im more likely to attract attention to my stall if i. dress up.#you know how it is#man and i have to do so much prep of actual stock#and i should probably get some more carry bags
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Questions are being taken until after episode 8 airs!
Thank goodness someone already asked about the necklace so I don't have to do it myself. I enjoyed all the questions about Kongming's headwear logistics and Maezono Keiji's shorts too.
A+ great show, great fandom, great thighs on Sekiguchi Mandy.
#paripi koumei#ya boy kongming#ya boy kongming!#no but seriously i hope they answer the necklace question because i want to understand whyyyyy#you can go 'oh it's completing the costume' for kongming's inflitration#but it's the set kobayashi wears in every other present-day scene#so like ???#did kongming NEED to wear both necklaces? or any at all? it's a flashy suit and besides does kobayashi have absolutely no others?#this is on top of the whole suit thing to begin with mind you#i genuinely want to know the non-gay answer#the idea of a talisman might work i guess? but idk man#anyway i'm really living my best life thanks to this drama#there were some good interviews out this week too like the one with the costume designer that was like#'you absolutely couldn't put kongming's outfit into a dryer like that and have it survive. at least use a bag!'#(not exact quote of course but you get the gist)#all the staff and cast interviews have been so good#what will i do in 2 weeks?? :(#i definitely want confirmation re: which items eiko wears that were actually moka's personal clothing & accessories it's all so cute#i need to shut up and go to sleep zzz
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I'm starting to get worried about giving birth...
#ignore me#what if i forget to pack essentials in the bag??#like what if the clothes i pack for her are too warm?#babies are shit at Temperature regulation#or what if i forget something completely obvious???#also do i need to pack diapers and clothes for every day of my stay if i have to go to the hospital???#the apartment isn't fully finished and I'm starting to get stressed#but also I'm only awake at hours where i can't finish the resy#and what if i won't be a good mom?#hell i haven't interacted with kids for over half a year#and she'll be so tiny!!! what if i crush her??#or accidentally hurt her in some other way???#babies are so fragile#what if i feed her too little? like they lose weight the first couple of days#what if i dont notice not giving her enough food?#or if we both are too exhausted and miss a night feeding cause her crying doesnt wake us?#i could traumatize her before she even has the ability to really recognize faces!#also what if i eat wrong and then she ends up with pain or other issues??#and how close do i allow the cats to be? what if they accidentally hurt her???#she has like no immune system! even a cold could kill her#and sometimes you dokt notice right away if you have a cold and then you visit someone#i got so many anxieties and more than half are that I'll make mistakes that could harm her#like what if she gets an allergy cause i use face cream?#my mom did so many things you werent supposed to do and we survived so i think she should be fine right?#also don't get me started on birth#like I'm not scared of the pain or anything i trust my body and the mid wives#but I'm gonna make such a mess#and I'm not sure what to wear??#do i help cleaning afterwards or what is the procedure??
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#i am FUMING with my roommate#she discovered a box of clothes rhat had been put away damp back when#we discovered the bed bugs (like literally last october)#she panic washed all her shit and wasn't thinking when she put some of them away#didn't touch the box again until a few days ago and discovered that the clothes had become HORRIFICALLY moldy#bagged em up to throw em out but didnt actually do so until the next day???#so now the whole house stinkssss of mould and has done for like three days now idk why its still lingering so bad#im meant to be going on a date tonight and was gonna invite him here since we went to his last time but the house just smells#too fucking grim#what kind of idiot discovers mouldy clothes and just leaves them in their room for a day because they cant be arsed to bin em straight awqy#the smell is SO STRONG and she was just sleeping with that a few feet away from her ???#💀💀💀
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op i've been struggling with this for maybe two years now and this eased my mind so thank you. also some of these are actually great tips for accommodations <3
Is it invalid to worry about your environmental impact as a person who lives on this planet (especially when loads of other people seem to live in ignorant bliss or openly just do not care)?
Not at all.
But as disabled people* I really think we should allow ourselves those accommodations we need/that would make our lives easier.
Bottled body wash lathers easier and saves you that tiny bit of energy while you're washing up? Can't seem take care of your bar of soap so it runs out fast because it's always wet and actively makes your bathroom harder to clean? You deserve to preserve your energy and keep yourself clean. Use it.
Bottled water means your executive dysfunction won't get in the way of you getting hydrated? Means you can keep water by your bed so you don't have to endure the physical pain of walking to the kitchen? Means your OCD symptoms won't prevent you from drinking water for hours-days at a time? You deserve to drink water without stressing. Drink it.
Paper plates and plastic utensils mean you get to eat without having to worry about dishes + prevents you from having an overwhelming sink full of every dish you own covered in rotting, smelly food that may even attract bugs and cause them to breed in your sink? You deserve to eat freely and live in a clean and safe environment. Use them.
Can't wash clothes on the regular let alone cleaning rags due to energy/executive function, ability, finances, ect.? Use paper towels. For whatever reason you need them. Spills so you don't take up your only clean towel and risk it sitting + developing mold and mildew. Wiping off your counters. Dusting. Drying your dishes. Drying your hands. I literally do not give a fuck. Use them!
Use frozen vegetables that come in plastic bags and frozen meals that come in single use plastic and floss sticks and plastic cups and precut fruit and veg and whatever little necessary 'convenience' you can think of that makes your life easier. Just because you Technically, Physically can pull it off doesn't mean you should and it's important we think about the consequences of our actions even if we're the only ones really impacted by them. You're important. And for a lot of us, these things are what makes the difference between Getting Things Done At All and sitting in shame because we can't bring ourselves to make our own everything and do everything the long or right way. We put too much pressure on ourselves to make up for what abled people aren't doing themselves. If Anybody deserves a break it's us.
Don't misconstrue this as discouragement from doing what you can or whatever, but I need all of us to be a lot more realistic about what impacts our lives and which trade offs are worth it for our own sake.
It's unfortunate that we don't have options for more sustainable resources when it comes to taking care of ourselves, but it shouldn't fall on us to choose between a significantly more difficult life or feeling guilt free. Advocate where you can for better treatment of the planet, and until that can happen-- non-disabled people can and should pick up the slack for us. They literally have that option and the impact they face is an infinitesimal inconvenience compared to the real health/quality of life consequences that build up in such a severe way over time. We deserve that little bit of leeway.
*disabled includes both physical and mental ailments on this post btw
#it doesn't only apply to environmental stuff btw#for months and months i've been avoiding sewing even though i love it#because all the projects have been piling up and a lot of the pieces of clothing i genuinely want to wear asap#which stresses me out more#so just.#if you're in a similar position and maybe need that tote bag that needs to get fixed but just thinking about picking up a needle#is literally destroying you#please just buy a tote bag. if you like some tote bag on temu that would make it easier and be exciting to get out of the house#just get it. the world isn't going to explode because you bought a bag instead of repairing the one you have.#let it be. you'll get there in your own time.#and if you don't that's okay too
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so i got 3-4 hours of sleep and i feel like shit obviously but now i gotta be at work for the next 2.5 hours. and then i get like an hour of break (not enough time for a nap...ill probably need to eat...) and Then i have an appt and itll be another ~2 hours before i get home. and Then itll be like. close to 7pm. and thats too late to really take a nap... oughh.
#i was up until almost 7am trying to clean...#i got through some of the stuff but not as much as i like#*id have liked#especially for how long it took#but i have a bit of bug problems.#as it turns out just abt every storage bag in that room was full of them....#i had to throw away a super nice backpack thats lasted me like a decade...#it was still in good condition other than being a bit dirty. and. the bugs#but there were too many to risk it....#my laptop bag tho i only saw one so i kept it for now (in the infested room. lol.) and im gonna see abt watching it later#*washing#if i still dont see any more in it ofc#im just not sure if it can tolerate being washed. or if the washer will tolerate It#with the metal strap buckles... and it really isnt meant to be deformed....#but ig its worth a shot so i dont have to toss it too....#its nice as fuck and waterproof and most importsntly fits a 17“ laptop#well my current one is thin#but like....a laptop or 2 ago when i bought it i had a beast with super huge dust fans on the back#and i kept getting 17“ laptop bags and they kept being too small anyway#after weeks of reseqrch with measurements in hand i finally found this one....so id love to keep it on hand#the fucked up part is i have no where to put shit now. i got a tote and a small plastic shelves thing.#and cleaned them up. and now ive got some of the stuff in there.#but like for ex. i had to throw away the velvet bags my tarot cards were in (the cards seemed fine so i put them in ziploc bags lol)#fortunately the leather bag my quartz dice were in was fine#the one cloth dice bag i found was also clear#tho im debating whether ill keep that set in the bag anyway....#had to throw away my like. 15+ year old purse that ive always stored my ds and games in. they also are in a ziploc bag rn#specifically its that black purse with silver stars and pink lining thats in that video of someone teaching their rat to steal....#i wonder if i could get another one like it....#its Very sentimental but to be fair it was . already rotting.
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arranged marriage with simon. yes i am talking about this again.
simon doesn’t talk much about the marriage at first, but his actions say it all. he insists on carrying your bags, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, and making sure you eat enough during missions. you don't ask him why, but it's clear he's claiming the role of protector, even if this was supposed to be temporary.
he won’t admit it, but simon begins to get used to the little domestic routines. you cooking dinner, him taking care of repairs around the house. it feels too natural, and although he never says anything, he’s already mentally putting the two of you into that “forever” category.
the first time you mention needing space or wanting to stay in a separate room, simon just gives you a look. "what do you mean, separate? we’re married." he’s not joking either. to him, this isn’t a temporary arrangement anymore. if you try to argue, he’ll just pull you close and mutter in your ear, "ring’s on your finger. means you’re mine." and that’s the end of the conversation.
he starts doing small things for you that a husband would—restocking your favorite snacks, making sure your gun is cleaned before missions, and slipping extra blankets on your side of the bed when it’s cold.
after some time, he’s not shy about touching you anymore—brushing a hand against your arm, holding you a little too close when you’re out in public. the more time passes, the more his touches become possessive, like he’s reminding you who you belong to now.
simon is up early, always. you’ll wake up to the smell of coffee, and he’ll have a cup ready for you without asking. if you take your time getting out of bed, he’ll mutter, "c’mon, mrs. riley. don’t make me drag you out." but there’s always a smile on his face.
when you share a bed, simon always pulls you into him at night. no matter how much space you take up at first, by morning, you’re wrapped up in his arms. if you stir in your sleep or seem restless, he’ll murmur, "got you, lovie," without fully waking up, his grip tightening as if to remind you he’s there, keeping you safe.
simon doesn’t open up easily, but after a particularly intense moment, he’ll lean in close, his forehead resting against yours, and he’ll whisper, "don’t care if it was for a mission or not. you’re the only one for me now." it’s not a grand declaration, but the sincerity in his voice makes your heart race.
simon will leave subtle marks of possession on you—his dog tags hanging around your neck, his scent clinging to your clothes, and his bite marks on your skin after an especially heated night. "need everyone to know who you belong to," he’ll growl against your skin, his lips trailing kisses down your neck.
he also has an odd obsession with your wedding ring. he’ll turn it on your finger, kissing it softly whenever you’re close. if you ever take it off for some reason, his brow furrows, and he’ll slip it back on. "keep it on, yeah?" his voice is low, almost pleading. "means something to me."
after a particularly dangerous mission where you were almost hurt, simon corners you in the hallway, eyes filled with emotion. "you’re not leaving me," he growls, pinning you against the wall. "ever. understand?" it’s a statement, a vow, and in that moment, you know you’re his forever, and he’s yours.
when you’re lying in bed together, his arms wrapped around you, simon will sometimes whisper, "mine," into your hair. it’s soft, almost inaudible, but you feel it in your bones. he needs the reminder just as much as you do—that you’re his, and he’s never letting you go.
#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x female oc#simon riley imagine#simon ghost riley
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