#and i ask my friend what They think about and they say idk
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just the tip (one-shot)
summary: you're ready to take the next step with logan, but you're still a bit nervous. pairing: old man!logan x fem!reader content warnings: explicit smut (18+, mdni), inexperienced reader, missionary, fingering, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, logan can't control himself, implied age gap (but no mention of age), no use of y/n. word count: 3k a/n: ok, this is yet another one-shot of complete old man logan filth. it never really is just the tip, is it? 🤭 i'm just so obsessed with logan and can't figure out which version of him i want to write on most days lol. honestly, idk where this idea originated from, but here we are... i just have a fantasy of old man logan showing me the ropes ya know... anyway, hope you enjoy! 🙂↕️
Logan doesn’t know what he did in this life to ever deserve you. Someone so sweet, so patient, so kind, so pure. He doesn’t even know why someone like you would ever be interested in someone like him. He knows he’s no longer in his prime – his hair now a gray shade, beard overgrown with more gray than brown, crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes, wrinkles around his face.
And you… You’re obviously much younger than him – everyone is much younger than him – but your innocence and your purity makes you seem so much younger than you really are, despite being very mature for your age. You smile so sweetly at him, gaze at him with such kind eyes that he doesn’t ever feel deserving of you.
But you had approached him first. All shy and unlike the rest of the girls in your group the night that you both met. You seemed so out of place, like maybe you had just been dragged along for the night because you were quiet, reserved, even when you had three drinks and one shot of tequila already.
The rest of your group was loud, outfits way too revealing that everyone had eyes on them. They craved and yearned for the attention, but you were fine with being in the background. This wasn’t usually how you spent most Friday nights, but your friends had convinced you and you owed one of them a favor.
You weren’t the prettiest in the group and you certainly never got the attention of anyone else when you were with them, but you didn’t mind. Your friends never made you feel less than you were, always the ones to reassure you and give you the confidence that you lacked.
And that night was no different. They had given you the confidence to approach Logan who was keen on spending just a couple of hours drinking his problems and nightmares away. Alone.
But when you sat next to him and flashed him that sweet smile paired with those kind eyes, Logan knew he wouldn’t have the strength to turn away from you. He tried to act like he wasn’t interested, tried to act like talking to you was an inconvenience, but it never deterred you. Instead, you remained seated next to him all throughout the night even well past the time the bar was closing.
“Your friends left you,” Logan told you.
“That usually is the plan,” you admitted.
His head tilted. “The plan is to go home with a stranger? Sounds dangerous if you ask me, bub.”
“I don’t usually do this.”
“Do what?”
“Go home with a stranger.”
“Ain’t going home with me,” Logan whispered. “I don’t do this either. Too old for this, actually.”
Logan didn’t miss the way your face fell at his words. All night, he kept asking himself why did you pick him? What was so special about him that you decided to spend the rest of your night talking to him?
“If I did invite you back to my apartment, would you say yes?” You asked quietly, your kind eyes now filled with hope.
“Don’t think that’s a good idea, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart.
You didn’t push him, wanted to respect his decision and his boundaries. So instead, you grabbed a napkin off the bar counter and a sharpie before writing your name and phone number. “Call me?”
“Sure,” Logan lied, staring down at the napkin.
Once outside the bar, you pulled out your phone. “Well, I better call a Lyft now. It was really great talking with you, Logan.”
“Let me take you home at least,” he muttered.
“Oh, you don’t have to.”
“I’m a driver,” he chuckled lowly. “If you called a Lyft, there’s a high chance that it’d be me who takes you home anyway.”
“Okay,” you smiled up at him and Logan felt his heart race even faster at the sight.
And since then, you and Logan had developed a friendship that soon turned physical. Heavy make out sessions and lingering touches, but you hadn’t taken that extra step, hadn’t gone the full distance.
–
“I think I’m ready,” you tell him, hands resting on his shoulders as you sit on his lap.
“For?” Logan asks, head tilting as his strong hands rest on your upper thighs.
“To have sex with you.”
Logan clears his throat, can feel his manhood stir beneath his pants. He stares into your eyes, tries to search for any uncertainty but you look determined. You look like you’ve made up your mind.
“Sweetheart,” he sighs. “You know I’m fine with what we’ve been doing. I don’t want to push you or make you feel like you need to do this for me. We’ll go at your pace.”
“I trust you,” you admit quietly. “I’m not… experienced like other women my age should be, but–”
“Inexperienced or not, I don’t care about that.” Logan lifts you off his lap and sets you on the couch instead, his hands immediately moving to cover the center of his pants. “We don’t have to–”
“I want this, Logan. I want you. All of you.” You bite your lower lip and move to settle on your knees on the couch, staring up at him. “I’m not a virgin, but I haven’t been with many men before.”
Logan’s eyes narrow at you. “Oh, that so?” He isn’t sure why he feels jealous at your words, imagining other men who've had you in their bed. He’s had a taste of you, knows exactly what to do to get you to come and you’ve done the same to him. And yet, he hasn’t had you in a way these other men have.
You nod at him, so innocent and pure written on your features. He can sense your nervousness, but he can also smell your arousal. It hits his senses all at once and his gaze darkens. “I just don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Logan smirks. “I’ve seen the way you suck my cock,” he growls. “You ain’t gonna disappoint me.”
You feel the heat rise in your cheeks, feel the wetness begin to settle between your legs, dampening your panties at his words. You loved when he would talk dirty to you; it only excited you even more. “Y– You like that, huh?”
Logan nods and stands up from the couch, lifting you into his arms without issue. “Of course,” he whispers, taking you to his bedroom as he walks into the room with you in his arms. “I love the fact that you like doing it too.”
You nod in agreement. “I do love it.”
Logan grins and sets you on his bed, watching as you prop yourself on your hands with your lower lip pulled between your teeth. And he wants so badly to respond and tell you that he loves you, but he doesn’t. Everyone that he’s ever loved was taken from him, so he doesn’t say anything.
“I know, you’re like a crazed animal.” Logan chuckles.
You pout up in his direction and gently reach out to tug on the waistband of his pants, pulling him to stand between your legs as your free hand moves to massage his crotch.
“See what I mean?” He groans, hardening even further with every graze of your hand. Logan gently takes your hand from him and shakes his head, lifting you further up the bed as he climbs atop of you. “You sure about this?”
You nod and move your hands to rest on his chest, feeling the muscle flex beneath your fingertips. “Yes,” you say almost breathlessly. “I’m just a bit nervous.”
Logan’s gaze softens and he looks down at you. You had broken through his hard exterior, had nestled your way into his heart, and even Charles had taken notice. You make him feel young again, like not all of the world’s responsibilities are weighing heavy on his shoulders. With you, he feels free, at peace. You manage to quiet all of the voices in his head, but he’d never tell you that.
“We’ll go at your pace,” he whispers, moving his hand down your side.
“I’m just nervous I won’t be able to take all of you,” you admit.
Logan chuckles and leans back on his knees to gently tug down your shorts and panties. He tosses it carelessly to the side and instantly, he smells your arousal hit his senses. He looks down at your lower half, sex glistening with your wetness. “It’ll fit,” he says lowly, hands moving up your legs. “We’ll make sure it does.”
“Maybe just start with the tip?” you ask, grabbing the ends of your oversized t-shirt above your head. You lie back down, hair splaying on his pillows as your body is now fully exposed and on full display for him.
Logan nods, pulling off his white tank-top over his head. He stands up momentarily to push down his pants, his manhood now standing at attention and leaking at the tip. He reaches down and strokes himself once, twice, before he settles himself between your legs.
“Gonna get you ready for me first,” Logan whispers, his large hand splaying over your abdomen as it slides down towards where you need him the most. He hovers above you, lips resting just near your ear as he slowly slides his middle finger past your folds. It slides in with ease, your slickness allowing for easy entry. Logan gently nips on your earlobe, grunting in your ear as you let out a quiet whimper at the intrusion.
“Logan,” you moan quietly, moving a hand to rest on his large bicep, gripping it tightly. This isn’t the first time Logan’s fingered you, but the anticipation of what’s to come has you clenching around his digit unintentionally.
“Already so wet f’me,” he whispers into your ear, slowly adding another digit into your depths. Logan ruts against the mattress, trying to find his own relief as he slowly begins to pump his fingers in and out of you.
You turn your head and bury your face against the crook of his neck, teeth grazing against his skin. “Logan,” you whimper, gasping quietly as you feel another digit enter you.
“That’s three already, sweetheart,” Logan growls as he thrusts his fingers in and out of you. When he feels your teeth gently bite down on his neck, he groans, thrusting his three digits inside of you as he begins to curl his fingers within your depths. “Come f’me, honey.”
“Logan, I–” you shut your eyes tightly and arch your back, your breasts pushing against his chest. Your walls tighten even further around his digits, your hips rolling upwards as you ride out your high.
Logan smirks and pulls back slowly, looking down at you as your chest heaves up and down. He pulls his fingers from you and looks down at it, his digits glistening with your arousal. He brings it to his lips and sucks your arousal from his fingers, eyes staring into your own once your eyes open. “Ready?”
You nod, biting your lower lip in anticipation. “Just the tip, okay?”
“Sure, sweetheart.” Logan says, leaning back on his knees as he reaches down to grasp onto the base of his manhood. He leans in closer, running his tip along the length of your sex, applying pressure to your bundle of nerves.
You look down between your legs and bite your lower lip. The sight of him holding onto the base of his length as he rubs his tip up and down the length of your sex, until his tip catches against your opening. “Logan…” you whimper, reaching out for him but he just uses his free hand to grab a hold of your wrists, pinning them above your head.
Slowly, Logan pushes his tip into you, feeling your tight walls immediately surround him. He groans and then pulls back, running his tip once more along you. Logan’s grip around your wrists tighten, pressing them further into the mattress as he pushes his tip – and only his tip – inside of your depths. Logan looks down and slowly pushes further into you, hearing you quietly gasp as a few more inches past his tip enter you.
“Logan, wait, baby–”
Logan growls and then suddenly slams all the way into you in one stroke. The warmth of your walls surround him, so tight and so wet as his lower half presses firmly against yours. “Fuck,” he groans, his now free hand coming up to rest on your cheek.
You feel your toes curl at the intrusion – nothing Logan did would have ever prepared you for the size of him. You can feel every inch and vein of his length inside of you, throbbing and stretching you. It’s so much, all at once, that when he pulls back only to thrust back in all the way, it causes your eyes to flutter.
“I said–” you moan. “Start with the tip…”
“Couldn’t help myself,” he groans, leaning down to kiss the tip of your nose. “You feel so good around me, sweetheart.” Logan feels your legs wrap around his waist, your ankles locking together at his lower back.
You nod in agreement, tears stinging your eyes. Logan’s so deep and it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. You keep your eyes open and trained on him. He hadn’t removed his glasses, now staring at you from the top of his glasses. You try to wiggle your hands free, but Logan’s grip just tightens even further.
“Logan, oh god,” you moan, his slow thrusts now picking up speed. He pulls out to his tip and then slams back into you, his tip kissing your cervix with each thrust. His hand moves from your cheek to grip your hip, fingertips digging into the meat of your flesh.
He knows that he probably won’t last any longer, the feeling of your tight walls gripping him, the way he’s easily sliding in and out of your depths due to how wet you are for him. It’s in moments like this where he doesn’t know why you still stick around, why you still continue to choose him. Logan releases your hands and grips your hips in both hands, pulling back to look down at you. Logan continues to thrust into you, the sound of his skin slapping against yours echo off the walls of his room.
Your hands immediately move to grip his sheets and he can feel your walls begin to tremble once more, can feel you begin to tighten around his length. Logan groans, eyes moving along your frame, his gaze lingering at the sight of your breasts bouncing with each sharp thrust he delivers. He knows his grip around your hips will leave marks and the thought of you walking around, going about your day with marks of him suddenly makes him feel territorial, suddenly has this desire to make everyone know that you’re his.
“Logan, I’m gonna–”
“Yeah, baby,” he groans. “I know, come f’me.”
And just on cue, your legs tighten even further around his waist as your walls tighten around his length. He can feel you shaking, can feel just a rush of wetness. “Logan!”
He groans. He’d never get tired of hearing his name escape your lips at the height of pleasure. Logan’s hips stutter, feeling a tightness build in the pit of his stomach as he chases his own release. He releases your hips to rest his hands on the mattress near your head, slamming his hips into yours – once, twice, three times before he releases inside of you, his seed filling you. He should have asked first, should have thought about using a condom, but when he pulls out of you and watches his seed trickle out of you, the guilt disappears immediately.
You stare up at him and then follow his gaze down between your legs, watching his spend come out of you and drop down onto his mattress, staining his sheets. “You’ll have to wash these now,” you tease, your voice almost breathless.
“Worth it,” he whispers, leaning down and gently pecking your lips.
“Was that– Was I okay?” you ask quietly, your hands slowly moving to his hair.
“Oh, sweetheart,” Logan says softly. “We’re gonna be doing more of that.”
An excitement flickers in your eyes and you grin, leaning up on your elbows to gently capture his lips with your own. “And just so we’re clear… I don’t mind that you came inside.”
Logan pulls back and looks down at you. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you nod. “I like knowing that I can still feel you.”
Logan smirks and he can feel himself slowly begin to get hard again. His regenerative powers aren’t all that quick anymore, so he’s surprised that his manhood is stirring awake, yearning for you yet again.
“Next time we do this,” you begin quietly. “Can I ride you?”
Logan groans as he moves his hips, his tip slowly brushing against you. He slowly lies on his back and reaches down to stroke himself, eyes running across your frame. “Come on, then.”
“Wait,” you bite your lower lip. “You’re– How?”
“You make it easy,” he winks, reaching out to gently tap your hip. “Take what you need, sweetheart.”
You move to straddle his hips and Logan looks down to see his release trickle out of you, dripping onto the hair at his base. He stares up at you, feeling you slide down his length and he watches you tilt your head back, a moan escaping your lips. Logan bites his lower lip, hands moving to your hips as he gazes up at you. Logan knows that you’re way out of his league, that you deserve to be with someone closer to your age, but fuck – he’s going to keep you for as long as you allow.
Because Logan knows that he’s so deep in his feelings for you that he won’t ever choose to let you go.
And now, as you’re slowly rocking your hips, he’s going to keep this image in his mind until the day he dies.
His girl. His.
#hugh jackman#hugh jackman character#logan howlett#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett fanfic#logan howlett smut#wolverine#old man logan#old man!logan#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x f!reader#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett x female reader#old man logan x reader#old man logan smut
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finders keepers ⇢ teaser 2
⇢ teaser word count: 948 | full fic: 37.8k total (22.7k & 15.1k) ⇢ genre: sci-fi/science fantasy au, soulmate au, alien!jungwoo, human!reader, slow burn, fluff and angst ⇢ warnings: blood/injury mentions (but like, alien blood, if that makes a difference?), a couple needle/injection mentions, if u get secondhand embarrassment this one might hurt in places, a couple crude jokes about alien stuff iykwim (reader’s friends r kind of the worst), this fic is just a rlly sweet soulmate au i swear idk why these tags look horrendous 😭 ⇢ extra info: this will be released in two parts bc of tumblr’s 1000-block limit that was put in place to hurt me personally :)) BUT both parts will be released on the same day ⇢ estimated release: saturday, november 30, 2024, 3:00 p.m. eastern time (sign up for my taglist here)
The screen of your phone lit up from where it sat on the dashboard of Jungwoo’s spaceship, and you immediately grabbed it. It was Donghyuck, and at this point, you would’ve taken your bestie ‘SPAM LIKELY’ to get you out of here.
“Hey, it’s Hyuck, you got it here?” You asked Jungwoo, already on your feet.
“Yes, I’ll be okay,” Jungwoo confirmed, eyes momentarily leaving the screen to meet yours.
You clambered out of the hatch with haste, taking off into the trees. Hastily sending Donghyuck a text that you’d call him back in a minute, you practically bolted back up the cliffside to get to the road before doing just that.
Hyuck picked up before it could even ring once, not wasting any time, “Hey, how’s our pet alien?”
“He has a name,” you retorted, still out of breath.
“He doesn’t seem to mind when I call him that.”
“He probably doesn’t understand how derogatory it could be. His language might not have a direct equivalent for the concept.”
“Yeah, whatever, how is he?”
“Fine. All of his wounds have healed.”
Your friend’s tone immediately shifted. “You sound weird. What’s going on?”
“Nothing!” You insisted.
“Y/N.”
“Promise not to tell anyone?”
“Sure.”
And so after explaining your situation to Donghyuck to the best of your ability, you waited with bated breath for his response.
“Oh my God, he’s going to lay his eggs in you,” he gasped.
“Hyuck! Gross!” You hissed, half-ready to hang up right then.
“I’ve seen enough alien movies to know where this is going.”
“Or watched too much weird porn.”
“You didn’t laugh at my joke, clearly you’re in crisis, sorry.” His apology sounded sincere.
You sighed, staring down into the trees below you that you knew contained a spaceship and spaceman that weren’t from here, that didn’t belong here. “I mean, he’s still fixing his ship to leave…”
“What if he plans on abducting you and taking you with him?”
“Stop it!” You scolded him again. “Jungwoo wouldn’t do that.”
“You seriously think he’ll just leave his mate behind?”
“You are way too comfortable saying that word.”
“This is not about my nighttime proclivities.”
“If I told him to, yeah, I think he would. He’s been super respectful, all things considered.”
“Okay… whatever…”
You were worried. Jungwoo had continued fixing his ship, but with each passing day, you swore he was looking worse again. He said his wounds had completely healed inside and out, but the pallor of his skin didn’t look right, he was moving slower again, and he didn’t eat as much at meals. You took a risk and took him there during the day today, not wanting to risk drawing out his stay on Earth any longer than necessary.
Just getting him down to the ship today was perilous, as he tripped going down the last of the hillside. A rock had cut his arm, thankfully not very deep, but the sight of the deep blue blood did nothing to calm your anxious mind. He let you take a second to use a first aid kit in the ship on him, but then was right back to business as usual, fixing his ship.
“How’s it coming along?” You asked, hovering over him worriedly as he sat on the floor, working on a panel under the control console.
“It’s almost done,” he informed you quietly.
“Jungwoo, you don’t look okay.”
“I’m fine.”
“Is it the hydrogen? Or something else that you can’t get on Earth?” You went to press the back of your hand to his forehead. It was sticky with sweat, but simultaneously cold and clammy. “Shit, dude, you feel awful.”
“I’m—I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I just need to get back to-to Galaria.”
“Okay, yeah,” you nodded. “Let’s get you back. You said it’s almost done. What else do you need?”
“One of your friends is a mechanic?”
“Yeah, Yuta. He fixes cars.” You were slightly alarmed that he apparently couldn’t remember which one.
Jungwoo held out a long, thin black tube to you. “Could you ask him if he has something like this? Twice as long?”
“Of course! I'll go right now!” You took the tube from him. “You stay right here. Rest, okay?”
He nodded, leaning against the panel and shutting his eyes.
You ran into Yuta’s auto shop, skidding to a stop and nearly crashing into a bench and toolbox, drawing the attention of everyone in the shop. Every head whipped over to look at you, and Yuta pushed himself out from under a truck on the far side of the shop.
“Yuta!” You dashed over to him, ignoring the attempts at conversation from his coworkers as you ran by them.
“Off-limits, assholes!” Yuta yelled back at them before focusing on you again, grabbing a rag to wipe his hands off. “Y/N, what are you doing here?”
“It’s Jungwoo, he needs something like this, but double the length.” You held the tube out to him. “Do you have anything like it? I’ll pay for it.”
Yuta inspected it with a furrowed brow, and you dropped your voice even lower as the sounds of the auto shop rose again.
“Please, he’s-he’s really not doing well. I don’t know how much longer he can be here, Yuta. Something about Earth, it’s not good for him. I’m really worried.”
“Yeah, I would be if I were you.” Yuta handed the tube back to you, then crossed his arms over his chest. “I gave him a part just like that two days ago. He said it was the last piece he needed.”
“What?!” Your heart fell to the pit of your stomach.
“I gave him a new brake hose two days ago. Unless he blew it up again, this isn’t it.”
“I’ve got to go.” You took off towards the door of the garage. “Bye, Yuta! Thanks!”
“See you around!”
TEASER TAGLIST
@bee-the-loser @ppddpjdr @tearinka @yoursyuno @yutasputa69 @winkeuu
#jungwoo x reader#nct x reader#jungwoo#jungwoo imagine#nct imagine#nct#kim jungwoo#jungwoo imagines#nct imagines#f: finders keepers#writing#text#mine#wooloved#bias tag
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I did not mean to sleep all day. Here all the non-kink asks in my inbox lol.
Does a little dance. People being weird about transmascs on here has messed up my self perception so bad im not actually sure of my own gender anymore, yayyyyy
Fuck that anon, if you're man that rules. Being a man is awesome. You don't need anyone else's opinion to affect who you are, there is no bad gender.
just saw someone acknowledge trans men are often lumped into female spaces due to bioessentialism but then turn around and say that thats proof that trans men arent oppressed. lol.
People act like being let into the Woman Club is the one and only goal of being trans and it's so fucking annoying.
Ngl I still don't understand why femboys are a "transmisogynistic caricature that can't be reclaimed by transmascs" according to some people. Do you have any insights on this because I genuinely can't understand, femboy sounds like gnc boy culture and in my own experience, maybe transfems before they come out occasionally identify as femboys. Idk is it like, someone with an outwardly feminine appearance being a guy? Because that's why I like calling myself a femboy.
Some people think femboy started as a transfem thing because they're idiots who don't know shit.
hey if catboy is ubiquitous and having nothing to do with crossdressing why did Jerma crossdress when someone drew him as a catboy???
Because catboys are allowed to do that lol. Taking one example of a crossdressing catboy to mean catboys infringe on transfem copyright is wild.
Hi thanks for letting me vent to you cause I am at work and can't properly process my emtions otherwise rn. I've been otherwise generally in a slightly emotionally fragile place and then I just got an awful review for my first actual order from a stranger on Etsy. And like I know logically that it's not the end of the world and I gave them exactly what they ordered and it's not my fault that they measured wrong or didn't take my advice and size up a little for fit etc etc but no one else will know that and I just got started selling craft stuff and it's just a hobby and it sucks that this person clearly expected something that wasn't what they paid for (my prices are low cause it's a hobby sorry I don't have super professional materials that would make my stuff cost double) but it's really fucking me up and I am trying not to like cry at work because of this and it's so stupid. This was just my first purchase online that wasn't from a friend and I was so excited and they hated it and didn't even send a message or anything about the length (that was exactly what they asked for by the way) not fitting before leaving a review. It just fucking sucks and I wish my brain didn't react to the most minor disappointments/shows of dislike with the I'm going to kill everyone in this room and then myself meme as first response Thanks for listening. It really helps to be able to vent this somewhere <3
I'm really sorry anon, that sounds so frustrating and hard to deal with. I love you so much. <3 I know you do great work and I hope it goes better next time.
Having NPD sucks, lmao, sorry for the rant ahead. I have to remind myself that the 'mark' on shinigami eyes doesn't actually mean anything, but it's hard sometimes because it's still a stain on my reputation. :( some people will see that and take it at face value, forever associating me with the filth that is transphobia, and I can't do anything about it. I appreciate the people who actually know what a transphobe is going out of their way to remove that mark, but it's a losing battle against a bunch of buffoons who think catgirls are transmisogynistic. sometimes it's really hard to pretend that it doesn't bother me at all, because it's highly insulting for me to be associated with the things I literally fight against. What an insult to my legacy and efforts to even bother to care about other people, you know? I don't HAVE to take time out of my day to do activism, I could just not bother to care at all, but I still try. I deserve praise, not this bullshit😭
I'll praise you! Thank you for fighting against transphobia. <3
All this catboy talk. Wanted to say hi as a catboy. Meow :3
Nya~!
My prediction for TRF discourse in 2025: closeted, non passing trans men shouldn't wear skirts or other traditional women's clothing (even if they don't want to and literally have no other choice) because they're MEN and men wearing women's clothes is obviously always transmisogynistic
All trans men are transmisogynistic because they grew up mocking transfems by wearing women's clothes.
some of this discourse is just so fucking wild i cant believe this is something people are taking so seriously. sipping my tea from the sidelines as a chubby catboy therian lmao
You have a cooler head than I.
iirc the "catgirls are transfem" thing started happening around the time Ferris got popular as a character because, if I'm correct, Ferris actually is transfem (coded?) and following that some people just decided The Aesthetique belonged exclusively to transfems now (also you're so so so so based for loving Schrödinger I remember first seeing him in like 2007 and wishing I looked exactly like him)
Schrodinger is my secret fifth blorbo. I'm obsessed with him. I think about him constantly. High five.
als catboys are only white passing in the way that people love to say anime characters are white lmao (aka cant conceive of the fact that anime characters are actually light skinned Japanese). not to say anime doesn't have a colorism problem but They Are Not White and its racist to say otherwise
lol yes exactly
I might be really stepping in it here, but tangential to catboy/catgirl discourse, I'm starting to get really uncomfortable with how the cutesy moe-blob yuri is treated as "trans lesbian culture" these days? as though none of it was ever straight guy fantasy shit? as though it's ideal representation instead of another vector of impossible beauty standards? idk, maybe I'm just being way too touchy. 😬
It's fine if something becomes emblematic of transfem culture but you just can't pretend something was always transfem when it blatantly wasn't lol
you got marked red on shinigami eyes and i havev no idea why
My smoke too tough, my swag too different, my bitch too bad.
juggalo here. we don't want them.
Devastating.
For what it's worth, the "cats transforming into people" thing is probably based on the bakeneko, yeah. The "bake" in "bakeneko" means "transforming", often with the implication of transforming into people (like the better known bakedanuki and bakegitsune). The popularization of cat-people in anime probably came from Neko-Musume from Gegege no Kitaro (the anime behind the "youkai boom" in modern Japanese culture), who is a half-bakeneko.
Fascinating.
(Dif anon) "leading one to wonder what transphobia they think trans men do face" 99.999% sure at this point we're at "trans men experience misgendering... maybe...?"
Well that doesn't count since everyone wants to be a girl, an idea that I believe has universal appeal because I'm a self-centered moron.
You're awesome <3
Thank you anon. <3
I didn't realize I was trans from yaoi but I did largely realize it from memes about traps and accidentally stumbling across largely transfem subreddits via a anime memes despite being transmasc so. Great amount of respect for our yaoi soldiers.
Hell yeah!
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Thinking about (and rewatching) Les Mis again, and I have so many thoughts.
Like, I always forget until I rewatch/listen to the show, but in my opinion one of the most depressing lines is at the end, when the Thenardiers say "clear away the barricades and we're still there." Because, like, it's true. They were generally, the worst. They didn't do anything positive at all, ever. And it isn't fair, but the bad guys sometimes don't get their comeuppance. They got to live to see another day, and scam another innocent person, when none of les amis were granted the same mercy. (Which is also related to why I stand wholeheartedly by the fact that "Don't ask me, what your sacrifice was for" is quite possibly the most depressing line in the whole show. But that's a conversation for another time.)
Idk where I was really going with all of this. I just think it's sad how that happened. Thenardier lived and got to brag about it. AT MARIUS' WEDDING!!! There is no world in which that is fair. And that's the point of it. It isn't fair that they lived and went to Marius' wedding, while all of Marius' friends died brutally. "We're the ones who make it in the end." And it's not fair.
#les mis#les miserables#thendardier#the thenardiers#tw: mentions of death#i really just rambled a whole bunch#i don't know if any of this made a whole lot of sense#i just needed to let it out#because i hate the thenardiers#so much#like#if they both jumped in a hole i'd be cool with it
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just taking it upon myself to do this without being asked because it was FUN! also everyone please consider yourself tagged to do this too if you want!
1: What’s your current bias line?
aeifughaveufgvuhegvaesgvkj look i'm in trouble.
the official answer is BANGCHAN and LEEKNOW. the unofficial answer is mostly screaming
2: Who’s the one that made you Stan?
god this is a good question and i've no idea? possibly one of the two above tbh
3: What song was your first?
it was either district 9 or god's menu, I THINK. I listened to those two and thunderous quite a bit without actually diving into their discography
4: What’s your current favorite song?
*sings badly* so COVER ME NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. she's in her belter era, lads
5: What members personally resembles yours the most?
boy who knows. i've definitely got a little bit of mimo in me and hyunjinnie being a pisces is ofc a shared spirit
6: If you had to pick a specific racha which would you choose?
3racha it has to be
7: What’s one attribute of the members do you like the most?
fr i love chan's nose
8: What’s your favorite album?
😬 you are exposing me as someone who simply cannot remember albums but i'll say oddinary because it was the first i listened to in full
9: Do you have any albums?
i have two maxidents, yellow wood, all in? idk man i didn't pack any albums when i moved to seoul so they're all at home
10: Have you been to a concert?
saw them at BST in Hyde Park!!!!!!
11: Who’s your favorite duo?
minsung should win this by a country mile but unfortunately my wives have had a VERY SUCCESSFUL last quarter so hyunibini are up there
12: Favorite cover/solo songs:
i'm kind of obsessed with love poem in general so obviously that
13: Favorite SKZOO?
WolfChan natch
14: If you had a day with one member what would you wanna do with them?
i want to go to the park with Chan and berry
15: Who’s your favorite singing voice?
han? minho? but seungmin does get a shoutout
16: Who’s your favorite to watch dance?
im sorry but i know nothing about dance so this comes down to whose body makes you the craziest when it moves and the answer is minho and binnie
17: Do you have a favorite SKZ Code?
i have not watched them all 😬
18: Favorite MV?
see above lol i am not a mv girly tbh
19: Who do you think you’d be best friends with?
hyunjinnie pleasssssse
20: Let’s feed those delusions, Who are you picking for a date and what are you doing.
see above re: who im spending the day with. chan and i are going to have a hella romantic time in the park
.·:*¨ 𝑮𝒆𝒕 𝑻𝒐 𝑲𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒚 ¨*:·.
20 Questions for my fellow Stays!
Making a little tag game because I love them and I’m nosy tbh. I also just love interacting with yall!
1: What’s your current bias line?
2: Who’s the one that made you Stan?
3: What song was your first?
4: What’s your current favorite song?
5: What members personally resembles yours the most?
6: If you had to pick a specific racha which would you choose?
7: What’s one attribute of the members do you like the most? (Example: Chans dimples)
8: What’s your favorite album?
9: Do you have any albums?
10: Have you been to a concert?
11: Who’s your favorite duo?
12: Favorite cover/solo songs:
13: Favorite SKZOO?
14: If you had a day with one member what would you wanna do with them?
15: Who’s your favorite singing voice?
16: Who’s your favorite to watch dance?
17: Do you have a favorite SKZ Code?
18: Favorite MV?
19: Who do you think you’d be best friends with?
20: Let’s feed those delusions, Who are you picking for a date and what are you doing?
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chapter 7
y’all I am SO SORRY this is so late. I’ve been caught up with end-of-year stuff at work and planning for next year. but I’m posting the last two chapters now🙃
I’m not sure how active I’ll be moving forward lol, 2025 is shaping up to be a pretty big year for me, professionally speaking, and that either means I’ll have more free time or less. Idk. But thank you for supporting my writing!!! You guys make me happy🩵🩵🩵
table of contents
found god at your ex’s house
To be entirely honest, the longest and only conversation you’ve ever had with goddamn Keeley Jones was at the Prada show right before you found out about Bean’s existence.
You’d prefer to keep it that way but fucking Madeline is friends with her so now you’re headed to a stupid, awful, horrible girls’ night at her house and you’d rather fucking die.
Okay, maybe that’s a little dramatic. But your experiences concerning Keeley have been unpleasant at best.
She first caught your notice in a tabloid on a yacht with Jamie and a screaming headline to match your screaming mind. It was two weeks after Jamie came over for the last time and apparently not enough time to get over him.
You’d gone straight to Madeline’s to scream into a pillow.
Then she was in your instagram, and when you had blocked her she appeared in fan edits and fucking WAG accounts. Then she was at the Prada show and in magazines and on the telly. It felt like no matter how much you tried to shut her out, Keeley fucking Jones remained as a painful reminder.
It wasn’t her fault per se, but you hated the role she played in Jamie’s deterioration.
And now Madeline is fucking friends with her.
“What the actual hell, Madeline,” you groan. “Keeley fucking Jones? Are you serious? She’s the fucking worst. AND she’s not to be trusted! The girl hardly has two braincells to rub together.”
Madeline rolls her eyes. “I understand that you hate her. But she’s kind and sweet and actually a bit brilliant. I’m not going to tell her about you or Bean, but she’s not some vile, boyfriend-stealing bitch.”
“I’m not saying that,” you reply as you try to get Clare to burp. “I’m just saying that the girl could stand to grow up a little.”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. She has. I think you’d like her.”
“Fuck off,” you scoff right as Clare burps. “See? Clare agrees.”
Madeline shrugs. “Clare is three months old. She doesn’t get a vote.”
You wrinkle your nose and say, “You mean unless she agrees with you, right?” and Madeline smiles her most angelic smile.
“All I’m saying is you’re more than welcome to come with me tonight.”
“I’d rather die,” you inform her.
—
Jamie has the day off. They won against Aston Villa on Sunday so he’s supposed to be resting, but he’s never been very good at that.
So he does what any self-respecting person would do and goes to his ex’s house.
He forgets Roy fucking Kent is going to be there until the man himself has opened the door but Jamie musters up some arrogance and breezes right by him. Keeley knows he’s coming anyway, so he’s not going to be harassed by some grumpy old twat.
Roy must be sick or something because he doesn’t say anything. If Jamie weren’t so consumed with his own worries he might actually be concerned.
But he’s not so he sits on Keeley’s couch like he belongs there and lets her hand him a cup of tea before she sits down next to him.
Roy isn’t far off, pretending to read a book but Jamie is abso-fucking-lutely positive he hasn’t turned a single page yet.
But absolutely FUCK it because he needs Keeley’s professional, girl opinion.
“I’ve got a kid,” he says, and both Keeley and Roy do absolutely horrible jobs at pretending they’re shocked.
“Fuck off, how the fuck did you know?” he protests. “Was it Ted?”
Roy and Keeley exchange a Look and it just makes Jamie madder.
“Technically it was Coach Beard,” Keeley says in a mousy voice. “We figured you’d tell us when you were ready, Jamie.”
That’s just confusing. “How the fuck did Beard know?” he asks.
“Kid looks just fucking like you,” Roy says and that makes Jamie mad too because when the fuck did Roy see Clare?
“I saw them on the green when I was with Phoebe,” Roy clarifies and Jamie takes a minute to file that away as Roy Kent’s first-ever non-swearing sentence.
He says, “fucking hell,” because really, fucking hell. He went from not knowing he had a baby to knowing to apparently the whole Richmond coaching staff knowing (and apparently meeting) her.
Keeley asks, “Is that why you’re here, babes?” and her gentle voice actually makes him want to fucking cry so he just nods and puts his head in his hands.
“Don’t know shit about being a dad,” he says, voice muffled, and Roy slams his book shut because apparently he has shit to say.
“Fuck off, Tartt,” he says. “Stop being a little bitch.”
Keeley exclaims, “Roy!” but she’s also curious about what he has to say because she doesn’t do anything else to stop him.
“I fucking mean it,” he continues. “You fucking come here expecting to fucking cry on the couch and be told you’re fucking shit at something and throw a fucking pity party, so fuck off. You might be a shit father, you don’t fucking know, but that girl doesn’t fucking think so and if I were her, I’d hate your fucking guts. So untwist your fucking pants and stop being a fucking whiny little bitch. Go fucking be a dad and if you’re shit, you’re shit. But stop looking for fucking sympathy for something you’ve made up in your stupid fucking twat brain.”
With that he pushes himself out of his chair, swears at his knee, and disappears into the kitchen, presumably to remain silent for the next year since he’s met his word quota.
Jamie looks at Keeley as if to say, Are you hearing this prick? but Keeley just lifts a shoulder and says, “He’s right, babe. You’ve got to actually go do something about it.”
So Jamie pinches the bridge of his nose and recounts everything his mum told him over the phone for some extra review.
—
Clare is easy, as far as babies go, but for some reason tonight she’s decided to be an absolute terror. She won’t eat, won’t go to sleep, won’t calm down. She just cries and cries and no matter how many times you check her temperature or her diaper, she cannot get it back together.
It doesn’t help that you’re tired, either. Like, newborn-level tired. And hungry, too. You’d order in but Clare hasn’t even allowed that so you open the fridge as best you can while bouncing Clare up and down. All you can see is a jar of gherkins, a can of soda, and some lemons.
And a fucking banana which must be Madeline’s because you’d rather die of starvation than eat that shit.
Fucking hell.
I am not going to cry you tell yourself sternly, except that doesn’t do anything except allow tears to well up faster than if you’d just let it alone.
You can’t call Madeline because she’s at Keeley’s and you’ll be damned if you interrupt her girls’ night. Madeline didn’t sign up to be tied down and she deserves a non-parent friend, so she’s not an option.
For a split second, you debate calling Jamie. But that’s a level of desperation you haven’t quite reached. You close the fridge and are saved from deciding what to do next by a knock on the door.
Clare wails like she’s being murdered, so you hope it isn’t the police but it isn’t, it’s just Jamie with a bag of groceries. He’s in the house setting up in the kitchen before your brain catches up with your eyes and Clare just cries the whole time.
You know exactly what he’s making before he’s even pulled out half the ingredients. It’s chicken pesto risotto, the dish you always begged him to make whenever he had a moment of free time. Jamie can cook maybe four things in total, but damn he can cook them well. He slices some bread, puts it on a plate with some butter and hands it to you, swapping the plate for Clare so easily that if you didn’t know better you’d think he’s been doing it his whole life. She stops crying the moment she’s in his arms and honestly, you’re too tired to worry about it. You crash on the couch and fall asleep after two bites.
It’s dark out when you wake up, but the lights are on in the house and it’s warm. Someone’s gently caressing the top of your head and saying your name, so you open your eyes to Jamie standing over you.
He’s looking at you with a soft expression, and your heart aches. It all feels too painfully normal.
He says, “Food’s ready,” and holds out a hand for you to grab.
You hesitate for the barest fraction of a moment before taking it. “Little Bean’s asleep in her bed,” he continues. “You hungry? Figured we could eat then you can go back to sleep.”
You nod. “Smells good, J. Are you planning on spending the night, then?”
Jamie shrugs. “I thought- I don’t know, I thought maybe you could use a break.”
He sits next to you at the table. The food’s been set out, and it’s still warm. It’s also the first meal you haven’t been responsible for in a good long while.
“So you’re just here now,” you say. “You’re the kind of person who shows up, cooks dinner, puts the baby to bed and watches telly in the evenings? You could barely handle a relationship, and now you want a fucking family? You can leave me all you want, but I swear to God, Jamie, I will murder you if you hurt Clare.”
It’s frustrating because it feels like you’re at an impasse. Jamie can come back once he’s shown he’s changed, but he can’t really show he’s changed if he can’t fucking come back, can he?
It doesn’t matter that he probably has changed and you know deep down that even he isn’t a big enough dick to abandon his daughter.
Jamie says, “I am. I mean, I won’t. I mean, fucking hell, you don’t have to fucking murder me, yeah? Just give me a chance, like.”
You snort. “Do you even know how to change a diaper?”
Jamie says, “Googled it, didn’t I?” and that makes you genuinely laugh. Of course he did. But you laugh too loud and it wakes up Clare, who lets you know she’s irritated with a shriek. You knock your head lightly against the table and whisper, “Fuck,” before putting down your fork. You push your chair out and Jamie stands, lightning-fast.
“I got it,” he tells you, and you raise an eyebrow.
You reply, “Okay,” because if he’s going to act like a father, he’s going to have to put in the work. And you’re hungry and this is your favorite meal. Besides, what’s the worst that’s going to happen?
So Jamie goes to Clare’s room where she’s sobbing like there’s no tomorrow and you continue to eat while straining your ears to make sure Jamie isn’t panicking.
Unfortunately, you didn’t account for the fact that the worst thing that could happen is Jamie comes back out after ten minutes with a sleeping Clare on his chest and he looks so fucking hot that you want to jump his bones then and there.
Jamie is thankfully oblivious. He sits back down and pats Clare on the back so she doesn’t wake up again.
“How’s the food?” he whispers. “Haven’t cooked in fuckin’ ages.”
“Good,” you whisper back and then you lapse into silence.
“I can stay the night, if you want,” Jamie offers after a bit, and you glare.
“Not like that,” he hastily amends, “I mean if you want to sleep. I can feed Clare and whatever.”
You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose. “Jamie. What the fuck do you want from me? You can’t fucking come back here and play house when you want, and I get it, your dad’s a piece of shit and you don’t want to be like him. But you’re in the fucking Prem, Jamie.”
(“Got relegated,”) he mouths, but you just keep talking. “Fine. You’re in the Championship but everyone knows you at least are making it back to the Premier League and someday you’ll be with a team in the Champion’s League and that’s a lot of travel. It’s a lot of nights alone, and you’re not exactly the kind of person who likes sleeping alone.
Jamie looks offended at that, but it’s true. He’s twenty-six and in his prime.
This whole thing is just one giant circle with no solution.
“Oi,” he says, and he’s got his serious expression on. “I don’t want anything from you. I want you. Not even because of Clare, but she’s mint. I was coming to find you the other night because I wanted to fix things. I told you that. I meant it, I want to get back together. I know I’m hard to love sometimes but swear down, I want to make it work. Keeley’s on me about commitment and shit and I dunno, it sounds nice. I’m fucking tired of fucking around. That shit’s exhausting.”
“Yeah, because a baby and a girlfriend isn’t fucking exhausting as well.”
Jamie wrinkles his nose. “Fucking Garnacho’s having a kid. If that little shit can handle it, I can too.”
You concede. He has a point. “Fine. You can spend the night. I’m going to shower and then pass out, which means you’ve got the dishes and Clare. You can sleep in the guest room, yeah? I’ll set up the baby monitor.”
Jamie smiles, and before you can really think it through, you lean over to kiss his cheek.
“Thank you,” you say softly before heading upstairs. You’re going to get an earful from Madeline later, but for now you’re going to get good sleep for the first night in a long while.
next chapter
#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt fanfiction#jamie tartt imagine#jamie tartt x you#jamie tartt x y/n#jamie tartt#ted lasso
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man. sometimes I think about. like. I'm really gonna have to. make myself go to sleep, every night, for the rest of my life, huh.
it's such an ordeal. every!! single!! night!!! I have to think about how I'm going to get to sleep. I haven't slept unmedicated in 10 years now, and even with multiple medications, it's a pain. bc I have to THINK of something. I find something to do, usually on my phone, and I keep doing it until I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open. then I put the phone down, and I have to think of something to do while I'm going to sleep.
Ive asked people what they think about before going to sleep, but nobody ever gives me an answer. I think they must just... go to sleep, I guess? cause Ive tried so many things. sometimes I do math. or I try to recount all the information Ive learned that day. I meditate - which is hard, because I'm too tired to keep myself focussed. I create stories, I try to imagine my dog's dreams, what his life might have looked like as a puppy. every SINGLE night I have to come up with something, bc if I don't, I Will Not Sleep. it's like when people say they're sick of thinking of meals 3x a day, except for sleep. fuck, man
#ed mumbles#coming to you from 4:42am#ive been in bed since midnight#trying to sleep since 1#i havent thought of anything compelling enough yet#i played foodguessr for 2 hours#also it's not my phones fault#when i was in hospital i tried handing my phone in every night#it made things so much worse bc it was harder to think of things#i dont understand how people do it!!!#WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT#i love swimming but it's the same problem. idk what to think about#and i ask my friend what They think about and they say idk#WHAT DO U MEAN
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Stupid joke based on birds i saw at my bird feeder
#hatoful boyfriend#holiday star#hitori uzune#nageki fujishiro#nanaki kazuaki#hiyoko tosaka#ryouta kawara#anghel higure#if anyone cares about my real life bird tales: basically a mommy cardinal and her kid came to feed at my bird feeder#and i was shocked because her kid was like? dare i say bigger than her at this point and could eat JUST FINE! on his own#but was still asking for his mommy to feed him ON TOP OF THE SEEDS HE WAS ALREADY EATING!! SPOILT!!#so i took a video and called him a manchild#it was genuinely very cute and sweet tho#im not sure what he did but mommy bird ended up tussling with him at one point#and he just awkwardly sat there repenting after LOL#all to say: i ended up curious about what the point in feeding a bird that can clearly eat on its own is and like yea the answer is obvi…#like yea… its thier baby still.. sniffles so loud#but also some birds flirt via feeding yummy worms and what not#i think the website i read mostly listed songbirds tho#so i dont think quails do this- sorry i went to look this up LOL#so i typed. do adult quail feed eachother. and the google ai instead was like yea quails do eat eachother when stressed </3#NOT WHAT I ASKED?? HELLOOOO??#sorry idk what this ramble has become#me and my friend just kept joking about nanaki being a flop at flirting because he just comes off like a big baby instead
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People think i'm joking about me wanting you to print out the zine and sell it to your local shop for cost and some money in ur pocket.
i'm not joking
Seriously. I hate money. I have enough of it. I'd like more of it to be comfortable, but i'm doing fine. the real thing is I don't want to think about compensation for my art and writing. It makes me feel weird! Print it out and sell it! ONLY THING I ASK: don't let them sell it for more than 5 dollars. It feels weird to me to sell a review of an indie game for more than the cost of the indie game itself! But that's just me.
Isn't it kinda weird to make money on a stone if I didn't make it?
It's a football! You chiseled it! No seriously. You printed it. You cut it and stapled it so it looks nice! Congrats, you've done the magic labor dance that hopefully makes you feel less gross about making money on it. You shouldn't feel gross though! Im telling you to do this? It's more than okay!
Is it hard to get it printed and sold for cheap?
If you do the B&W version you could get it printed for less than a dollar from a shop, which honestly: you might as well do it yourself at the library for cheaper since I imagine you don't want bulk! I would love nothing more than for you to sell this zine for a dollar. More zines should be a dollar?
What are you getting out of this? Why do this?
Money doesn't make me happy (although it does help prevent calamity from things that *can* make me unhappy), its people reading and seeing my work that makes me happy. About 500 people have read this zine! Thats already so crazy to me! I would love nothing more if people picked this up and got hungry for more games discussion in the zine world. It's shockingly not as full of a niche as i thought it would be! Also. My stuff in stores just like. straight up benefits me! My name is prominently on the front and back of it! The download page for it has a donation option! I'm not starving here. Print that shit out, make yourself some money, and buy a coffee on me. You're not going to become a gazillionaire selling zines. I think. Would be funny if you did tho! What about tabling with this zine?
YES! Nervous about tabling because you don't feel like you have enough? Well print my zine out and now you have stuff that costs u pennies to make your table look fuller! Just lie and say I'm your friend or something! In a way, i suppose i am in ghostly meaning of the word. Only thing i ask is don't try to aggressively trade using my zine because like. Idk! It feels weird. That's just me though. I'm not your dad, a cop, or both.
ANYWAYS. I write this out because i think zine distribution should be that: distribution. Get that shit out and get it cheap! Words for the people! This is my long way of saying get out of your head and have some fun printing and cutting and learning how to do that. I will be making more stuff free to distribute, and and i would love to see other people do that if able!
Alright. It's here.
REVIEW OF THE KILLER is a (mainly spoiler free) zine review featuring commentary, analysis, comics, and various evil activities. It released on my itch.io page and will be free for anyone to download, as well as a convenient reader embedded in the page itself. It is releasing alongside the steam version of Anthology Of The Killer by @myfriendpokey.
It is available to print in both a4 and letterhead format, in color and B&W. All of these will be available in 600 or 300 PPI (as disgustingly high as Itch will allow) as well as regular old, web and storage friendly formats. I recommend vibrant pink and canary paper for greyscale copies. It is free to distribute as you please.
If you have liked any of the art I've done so far, please share this anywhere and everywhere you feel charitable to do so.
I hope you enjoy. I am always hoping you enjoy.
#of the killer#anthology of the killer#altgames#review#zine promo#art zine#zine#free zine#fanzine#bb#distribution#printing#zine update#game review#game criticism#games as art
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hi hi hi hi I found out about Hal Jordan TODAY and am going so autistic over him it’s insane can you please give me a rundown on what his deal is I think you’re the Tumblr Green Lantern guy
omg hi, insane compliment btw, tysm! i'm glad to give you a rundown!! also definitely check out @katmaatui for more hal info, red is SUPER knowledgable abt him. @rillette, @catboyollie, @halcarols, @starsapphire and @yellowcorps (along with so many others that i cant think to tag off the top of my head) have some great hal takes too! (edited the post just to tag more ppl)
apologies if this is a bit rushed/messy, i'm doing this while i smelt stone in minecraft LMAO
that being said... i think this will be a long one, so more below the cut :3
(cw for light mentions of pedophilia, abuse, canon typical violence)
okay, so hal jordan is the first human green lantern of the GREEN LANTERN CORPS. it's important to note that there was technically a human green lantern before him (alan scott, originally from earth two/the justice society, but integrated into main DC canon after crisis), but his power comes from a different source- which is a whole different ballpark that would take ages to explain, lol, so i'll move on from that.
hal was originally introduced in a showcase issue in 1959, but ended up getting a solo run in the mid 60s because of his showcase issues doing well. he's been a test pilot, middle brother, compassionate, rule follower (although being surprisingly liberal for the time) with an interesting relationship with star sapphire carol ferris since those first appearances. for the first 20 odd years of his appearances we had no information on his parents, but we got a lot from other family members, such as uncle titus, cousin hal jr (aka airwave), younger brother jim jordan and older brother jack jordan. through the 60s and 70s those members of his family were developed along with him; with the audience learning that jim's wife sue thought jim was green lantern, rather than hal, and hal himself training his cousin, hal jr.
the most known version of how hal got the ring in the first place is probably based off of geoff john's rewrite in the mid 00s, reiterating the original story of abin sur crashing onto earth and dying, leaving hal with his ring to be trained by sinestro and the rest of the glc, while also changing miniscule details that had been developed in emerald dawn 1 & 2 (which was released in the 90s, more on that later). the main premise of abin sur's crash has stayed the same, but the story around hal's current life, job, family and stability keep changing. for instance, the original comic with abin sur in showcase only showed hal getting the ring, the guardians choosing him. the first rewrite i can think of was emerald dawn volume 1, published in 1989 and continued in emerald dawn v2 (1991). here we get the classic hal watches his father die in a plane crash with carol ferris beside him as a pre adolescent, and some of the biggest implications of the mistreatment from his father. we also get introduced to hal, despite his stick to the rules, straight edge attitude, making some serious mistakes and putting people in danger and even death- with the implication of alcohol abuse. the audience HAS known hal used to be in the air force since sometime in the late 60s or early 70s (sorry, i don't remember the exact issue!), but emerald dawn shows us that hal's moved on from the air force and into test piloting, and that his mother keeps having to bail him out for making mistakes. emerald dawn vol 1 shows the abin sur moment, followed by fights that cost hal's friends life, and is followed up by sinestro training hal in emerald dawn vol 2, where we get to see the iconic scenes of hal finding out about sinestro and his... dictatorship.
along with that; how the guardians and rings are treated and hal and the glc's perception of them is vastly changed over time. in the early days of gl in the 60s, the guardians were really never to be seen. hal was repeatedly summoned to them and then had his memory almost fully wiped- only leaving a vague notion of his orders. the guardian's called hal to them at seemingly the worst times, ending up with him almost getting injured, getting in trouble at work, and even ending up jobless and homeless. the chaos of being a green lantern has been around the WHOLE time, but originally, the green lanterns didnt really... fight it. the guardian's were their masters (and even father figures, to hal) and not to be questioned. the rings in the 60s were also much more powerful, despite the yellow weakness (the yellow weakness is the notion that from about the 60s to the mid 90s the green lantern rings were completely unable to be used against anything yellow). time travel, phasing, teleporting, etc were all very viable and common things- as well as forceful shapeshifting, invisibility, mind control, mind reading, etc etc. these days, writers have dampened these powers down to mostly shooting light and constructs.
okay, it's parallax time. the emerald twilight arc from the mid 90s wasn't an arc that was as thoroughly planned out over a long period of time as it probably should have been. a lot of fans at the time (and even now) hated what happened there, and claimed it ruined hal's character entirely. i can understand why! but, at it's core, the parallax arc is a story about a broken man pushed to the limit, fully grieving his home and family (originally, he lost his brother jim in the destruction of coast city, along with a lot of other family members) and being goddamn fed up with how his "masters" treated him and the rest of the corps. the so called "perfect lantern" (no, he wasn't that much of a rebel, despite what johns wants you to think) snapped and essentially tried to gain as much power as he could to bring back coast city. when the guardians stripped him of his powers so he couldn't, hal became enraged and took down every lantern in his path, just to get to the guardians and that power. long story short, he kills the guardians and absorbs all the energy from the central power battery on oa, becoming parallax- essentially a god. this marks the start of zero hour, an event made by dc to restructure and reset; giving the comics a new generation of heroes. hal destroys the world and remakes it, but is ultimately taken down by kyle rayner, the new green lantern, with the help of the jla, jsa and associates. there are a few more run ins with parallax after this, before kyle convinces parallax/hal that he can make up for all of this by reigniting the sun after it went out- aka killing himself. hal does it, is stuck in limbo for awhile and then becomes the spectre to continue to make up for the horrible things he did as parallax. the spectre is the spirit of god's wrath and vengeance, a weapon used to drag sinners to their very own, self made hells, and scare the shit out of people. the spectre, from it's very first appearance, is a ghost like spirit that takes on a host, and is primarily described using christian terms and is used in a very... christian ideology. HOWEVER, the spectre 2001 confirms that hal is jewish (jewish mom, catholic dad) and that belief system, plus his personality as a whole, literally makes him change the spirit of vengeance into the spirit of redemption, for at least as long as they are bonded. the whole parallax to spectre arc is about grief, pain, cycles of abuse and terror, redemption and guilt. it is NOT about a fear bug that possess hal. (im so serious though, the spectre 2001 is one of the best comics ive ever read. amazing. changed my world view) but... geoff johns changed all of it, decanonized the spectre, and ruined the legacy of parallax and hal's growth as a person by releasing green lantern: rebirth in 2004/2005. this retcons hal's breakdown and journey through grief into him BEING POSSESSED BY AN ENTITY CONTROLLED BY SINESTRO THAT FULLY CHANGES PREVIOUS GREEN LANTERN CANON AND IMPLICATIONS. also, fucks up the importance of kyle becoming ion, but whatever. geoff johns writes hal (and even more so, carol) so very wrong, and change their stories so vastly in ways that go against the stories very meanings.
SIGH.
now... time to get started on some rougher stuff. hal jordan misconceptions. i'm saving that arc for last.
- hal jordan wasn't much of a rule breaker or rebel until the 70s/80s, where he BEGAN (very slowly, mind you) to be radicalized by oliver queen during denny o'neil's green lantern/green arrow. hal was painted as more of a conservative during this period (which, admittedly, kind of goes against previous canon... he's always been relatively central to liberal, not to any extremes like ollie though, lol) but gets more and more understanding of how power structures work and how lower classes are mistreated during this time- which ends up opening his eyes a bit to how shitty the guardians are. (this is helped by the guardians literally just. leaving. the green lanterns and kind of disbanding them so they can go fuck the zamarons, lmao). geoff johns tried to change this narrative into making hal a very... maverick-from-top-gun type of character, who punched his way out of the military (when, in reality, the original story during emerald knights in the late 90s was that hal had been framed for stealing a jet and was dishonorably discharged, which he took the punishment for because he knew someone had to) and hits on women constantly and gets ladies and allat (which, funnily enough hal was awful at getting carol to like him for a long time, since carol fell for green lantern rather than hal. not to mention the awkwardness of carol's proposals or hal's many, many failed relationships). hal has always been insecure and lowkey boyfailure, he is NOT a top gun maverick tom cruise sorta guy! fuck you jeremy adams!
- hes not that much of an idiot asshole. hal can be a real dick, he's had that going for him since the beginning, but he isn't what you read in batfam fics. he's not stupid and shouldn't be the laughingstock of the justice league. i assume this idea started from the obsession with batfam and the fact that the jla has quite the history of ignoring hal and his issues (as well as. all of their issues. theyre not so great at work life balance), but it's gone too far. hal isn't making fun of the robins and pissing bruce off bc of that. hal isnt fooling around on the job 24/7 (he takes being a gl and pilot VERY seriously, although he does enjoy some danger and high stakes) or slacking off to get girls. again. not top gun maverick.
- hal has not been a creep since the beginnings. hal was not weird with carol in the 60s. things were weird between them, yeah, but that's based off circumstance and the craziness of star sapphire and green lantern. he was NOT being horribly sleazy! i hate that i even need to say this, but i see this take too much not to
- going off of what was said above, lets discuss the arisia arc. if you want to be a real hal fan, this is unfortunately something you need to know about. in action comics, after crisis and the guardians left to go fuck the zamarons, most of the green lanterns fell apart and seperated. a small group went to earth- led by hal and consisting of hal, john stewart, katma tui, kilowog, salaakk, ch'p and arisia rrab. (also sometimes guy gardner, but that's complicated) previously to this arc, hal treated 14 year old arisia like a beloved little sister, welcoming her and leading her into the corps just like everyone else. things started to change once the timeline gets closer and closer to crisis, where arisia starts showing that she has a crush on hal (who is roughly 30s at this point). any advances made by arisia are shut down by hal at the beginning, because she's a child. now, it's unfortunately a common thing to just call hal a "pedophile" because of what happens in this arc- but it really isn't that simple. still weird and icky, but definitely not to the degree of which some fans like to act like it is- esp to attack hal fans for, which is... an odd choice regarding how many fucked up things every character (esp male characters) did back in the day. arisia ends up using her power ring to artifically age herself up, making her body AND MIND into that of a young adult (the comic makes this very clear). once this happens... hal stops rejecting her. they get together, they kiss. the only person in the group of green latnerns who actually has an issue with it is john (salaakk is meh about it, but he just doesn't like human-esque romance no matter what), and katma even directly encourages their relationship. kilowog ends up crushing on arisia as well, and guy gardner hits on her repeatedly throughout the whole period. eventually, hal and arisia break up, but this legacy (thank so much englehart, for wrtiting this. /sarc) is a big controversy among the comics crowd. "is hal jordan a predator?" personally, and i know a lot of friends/mutuals/other gl fans choose to erase the arisia arc entirely (versus how canon ended up retconning it to be 14 earth years is equal to that of an adult and she didn't really get super ages up, or whatever) and go with the familial relationship between hal and her. that's my preferred version! i know red (@katmaatui) has explored that version as well as an alternate version where the arisia arc did happen, and how it affects arisia in particular, which is really depressing but super interesting. anyway, it's complicated and weird and nuanced, but that whole occurence doesn't mean hal's a bad character or person (cause yk. retcons) and it's certainly not bad to like his character. (definitely ignore any guy gardner fans who try to bitch about this arc. cough cough. guy was ALSO into her and hit on her repeatedly. smfh) most people who bring this up to demonize fans didn't even read the arc, and don't know the nuance or the other weird shit that happens in it. (hal is not a horse, sigh)
OVERALL NOTES!
hal jordan is a super complicated character with an extensive history spanning from the 60s to his worse written appearances in modern age. it's okay to like any version of the character, but it is important to note the changes that have been made, the storylines butchered and lost, and more. he has quite the legacy, and he's particularly interesting as from a moral standpoint. hal's a real sweetie though, when it gets down to it! he's neurodivergent coded (imo at least.. his dad very much gets onto him for being disrtracted, hes kinda shit at social interaction (and then amazing at it the other half of the time) etc etc. "spacecase") and his dad is an abusive asshole, who he desperately doesnt want to be like but thinks he NEEDS to be like!
#i really dont know how to fit this last stuff in so its going in the tags#hal has quite the homoerotic tension relationship with his nemesis (but also close friend) sinestro#they repeatedly come back to each other and long to be alongside eachother#despite all the shit they hate about one another and their respective organizations#check out more of red's stuff for sinhal for sure lmao#for other hal relationships...#hal has a complicated relationship with his brothers and mother (at least when they were all alive)#hes very close friends with oliver queen (and dinah lance by proxy) and quite a lot of fans (me included) think theres some tension there.#homos!#he has a niece (helen jordan!) who is featured in the spectre and who he loves very much#hal and john are proclaimed best friends and care deeply for each other#hal and guy fight a lot but theyre in a similar boat#kyle looks up to hal quite a lot and hal is.... complicated about kylre#a lot of people ship hal and barry and i get why. its cute#not my fav though i think its overdone#hal jordan and carol ferris are so fucking important to eachother its SO important.#they need eachother in a wya thats confusing and sometimes toxic#idk what else to say feel free to ask more questions#sorry for the rant#and sorry that i mostly focused on 60s to early ish 00s thats my expertise#mordie answers#mordie speaks#hal jordan#green lantern#ch: who has time for heavenly things#uhhh#hal explanation#ok bye#hal jordan analysis#gl
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every time someone calls moirallegience just an alien qpr i wilt a lil like YEAH thats more or less the CLOSEST human thing but its also Literally Not That. like a qpr is fundanmentally not romantic and thats not even going into moirails whole Actual Purpose of calming ppl down. its just. aughhhhh pisses me off i see the confusion but, as aformentioned, aughhhhh
OH MY GOD THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME TOO.... but i don't want to get petty at the people in my notes always saying "moirails are QPRs!" because in some ways that is the closest human thing so it's hard to be mad...
i think there's definitely some overlap in some ways. but NOT because moirallegiance and qprs are the same at all really, but INSTEAD because both relationships have unconventional boundaries defined by the people within them.
you know... like every relationship.
like the only reason the two have overlap is because they are both partnerships that emotionally care for each other but can choose to not bang (which is true for any romance anyway, even if it's considered abnormal). they're both just romances* that are unconventional to human norms, which makes people view them as the same thing when they're not.
i think the REAL issue here is that humans insist on using human words to understand things that are just, fundamentally, alien. can't we just appreciate alien romance for being... alien romance?
no, it's not platonic, it's romantic. it's just romantic in a way you aren't quite wired to understand, is all.
*in generalization, most QPRs are not romantic, because they are made up of aroaces who are life partners in a non-romantic way. however i want to disagree with you that none of them are romantic, because that is up to the partners in question.
#quadrants#homestuck#moirallegiance#BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG OMG THANK YOU FOR THE ASK#its just i USED to think they were the same#and then recently i kept getting pissy when people said they were the same so i was like. okay let's unpack this#what's the overlap here and what's the differences?#and really people THINK theyre the same because they think theyre both like. 'im gonna platonically marry my friend!' ^w^#(which is obviously not actually what either of them are like. lol)#when REALLY what they have in common is 'hey you're a person i want to have a committed partnership. but potentially not sex or tradition'#and it's not really fair to compare them because they come from totally different places and have totally different standards#QPR was created as an ALTERNATIVE to allonorms. its about saying 'hey lets make up our own rules. my life partner can be platonic if i want#whereas moirallegiance IS a norm and its not counter any culture. it's just 'trolls have biological romantic feelings/needs in This way.'#idk idk how to explain it any further because ive spent a fucking hour on this post and i have a massive headache so feel free to ask me--#more specific questions if the shit i said here doesnt make any sense (; ̄ー ̄)..#<- wow haha the troll fictive autism really jumped out with this post huh. whoops#hsmeta#long post#op
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i need to share a cigarette with hayden christensen
#outside a fan expo or mega con. behind the building. i ask him for a light. he cups it for me like a gentleman. i try to be cool and#act like idk him. he can tell i’m trying to play it cool. he asks who i’m here for. i say smfhn like i’m here with my friend who’s got like#a photo op or something. i say what about you. he laughs. he asks if i’m having fun. i say a little#i’m about to go back inside but he’s still working on his cig. so after the convo and i can tell he’s kinda humoring me i shoot my shot and#ask if he wants my number. he pauses and thinks it over. then he nods and balances the cig in his lips while he takes out his old ass phone#he puffs out some smoke through a little opening in his mouth and gingerly hands me his device and i put in my info. and if i’m lucky#he texts me a day later about ‘hey :) it’s hayden. from the smoke break’#ch: hayden#tw smoking#hayden christensen thought
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Literally no one tells the people in their real life that they have a tumblr account so idk why you’d feel embarrassed. Delete your account if you feel that bad, or grow up.
Ah, yes, promoting abuse in the name of “love”. Lovely.
That said, you asked why I think Romione is badly written and to “use words”. I did. You called it one-dimensional and tried to disprove my points (even though you skipped over the 2nd paragraph, in which, you didn’t debunk any of those lol) with 99% of it being non-canon/speculation. Such strong arguments, amirite?
“Use your imagination”. Seriously? I didn’t know canon shippers knew this word, when they themselves have problems with other people “imagining” non-canon pairings together. And there’s honestly not alot to do at Hogwarts lmao. And imagination, for me, is hard to do with Ron and Hermione’s relationship because they have 0 common interests and 0 activities they enjoy doing together that’s believable for me.
“They were prefects, which means they were spending hours walking around the school alone together”. This is not canon. You’d know this if you’ve read the Chamber of Secrets cuz we see Percy Weasley patrolling the Slytherin halls alone.
And it’s not “Kreature”, it’s Kreacher. For someone that claims I haven’t read the books in a while, it’s seems like you haven’t either 🤷
As for the house elf argument, you’re telling me Ron changed his views on house elves because two house elves helped them in DH? So he shrugged the state Winky was in. And if Ron and Hermione are so close cuz they just spend so much time alone together, why did Hermione never ask Ron to help her knit clothes for house elves? I think it makes a lot more sense that that Ron learned that “agreement” is works for well from his 12 Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches book cuz he does nothing but mostly agree with Hermione to get in her good graces again once he comes back from abandoning Harry and Hermione on the hunt. Regardless, I still think the scene came out of no where, it’s literally during a battle, and the condition of the house elves and wanting them to be free is forgotten about.
And I think you’re misinterpreting what I’m saying about confiding in Harry about their relationship, and I mostly mean Ron telling Harry that he likes Hermione. Harry Potter is oddly one of those pieces of media where a guy friend doesn’t confide with his other guy friend about his relationship troubles or at least a “hear me out”. The HBP movie at least had some semblance to that.
Um, the epilogue is a clear sign of their little to no development. It’s not what’s even inside the epilogue. It’s just 19 years later to confirm the garbage written pairings lol.
You claim that this was easy for you. Of course it’s easy to type up a lot of biased non-canon nonsense.
Honestly, I don’t understand why you’re arguing with me. You’ve already said that the author “hardly tried” writing romance, but you have a problem when your OTP’s writing is in question?
In conclusion, Romione is badly written. Heck, every canon ship is badly written. If you want go die on the hill that Romione isn’t badly written, so be it (you’re wrong either way tho).
“I used to ship Harry and Hermione together but that was back when I was 12 years old. Now, I’ve grown up and realized that Ron and Hermione make much more sense together and are good together” is a sure-fire way to tell me you didn’t “grow up”.
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the coolest kids in forgotten valley!!☆
(…it seems there may have been a stretch of time where rock and lumina were the only kids in forgotten valley…🥲)
poseref
#in the remake hugh and the player’s kid are the same number of years apart#so i can see them having very similar conversations n friendship#surely these two kids will grow up well adjusted and they will have no lasting effects from this kind of isolation. they will be fine#i have been thinking a lot about what their childhoods were like. i want to protect both of them#everyone who has anything to say about them as kids says that both of them were not well behaved children at all#tei says rock was rambunctious and energetic and hard to handle. sebastian says lumina was less than amenable#rock says he was bored to death when he first came here and lumina asks you not to tell romana that she’s lonely#lumina also hated wearing dresses so. she is very mad and ready to bite people maybe#sos awl#bokumono#my art#rock tumbling (sos)#harvest moon#story of seasons#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokujou monogatari#i like to imagine a au where pony and cecilia come to visit their family’s respective farms#so these two can have more friends ;w;#i am always thinking about how they were both severed from their families and taken in by someone else at a young age to live in nowhere#and they are both not exactly enthused about following the path laid out for them#headcanon ⚠️ i wonder if rock’s moving out on his own happened when he was a teenager. he was extremely confident everything would work out#anyway he got fired from every job ever and after many years came crawling back. and he came crawling back blond#at the time of chapter 1 lumina is baffled by the state of the guy she grew up with. why is he using dated slang and wearing disco costume#she is also kind of mad at him for having been gone for so long#hc rock probably had more freedom as a kid than lumina did which probably annoyed her#once again takakura retrieves a small rock from the goddess pond and he’s covered in poison ivy bee stings etc. no remorse#lumina from her window on the hill feels somehow jealous of these misadventures#lumina mentions in her heart event that she doesn’t often visit the beach because her skin burns easily#meanwhile rock was probably playing outside always. if his kid is any indication#idk i like thinking about the history of this extremely small village
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I Feel TFOne Could've Handled This Better...
Hot take but I feel like folks have been really generous with the take that OP was unable to find ~the perfect words~ in the heat of the moment (and thus should be given some grace) when he told D to stand down and "not be like Sentinel"... namely cuz I don't feel that the narrative supports this?
Like-- after all is said and done, OP doesn't reflect on that part of their split. He doesn't have a moment where he seeks validation or voices his regrets over the choice of his words, it's actually cut-and-dry. The narrative (as it stands) supports that OP saw D-16 acting up, so he called him out and stood on business, down to the last scenes where he's basically like "yeah it's a shame but y'all knew I had to do it to 'em."
It didn't have to be much! I'm not saying to absolve Megs, just show OP looking at things from a different perspective/contemplating a bit on that tough choice and the morality of the moment. Some examples of what I wish we had:
B-127 straight up blurting the obvious by later chatting with Orion like, "Wait so you told your best friend that he was acting just as bad as the guy who enslaved us for our entire lives and was torturing him like an hour ago? Oof. Seems kinda harsh." Then have some of OP's regret show on his face.
OP asking Elita-1 after Megs is banished if he did the right thing. Have Elita back his choice up, saying, "You should have seen what he did after you were... gone. It was terrifying. I know it was tough, but you made the right call." OP is grateful for the support, but a conflicted look still flashes across his face before he steels himself to look out towards the horizon... and the future.
Have OP walk past other mechs/former miners who didn't go with the High Guard saying stuff like, "Wish I could've given Sentinel a piece of my mind!" "Yeah, but I'm glad he's gone for good." "Ugh I miss everything." "Oh, it was crazy! Megatron picked him up and then he rrrrriiipped-- oops, hey there, Mr. Optimus... Prime... sir?" And have OP wave hello, looking a bit sick when they leave.
Post-credits scene with Starscream going on and on, asking Megs when they'll be back to teach the upstart Prime a lesson. Megs grabs his face to shut him up. "Patience, Starscream. The Prime thinks I'm no better than Sentinel... but I'll show him. He wants Iacon? He can have it. In the meantime we'll take the rest of the planet! Then I'll come back, crush Prime under my heel, and we'll take Iacon too. Sentinel's reign will barely be a footnote, because I'm about to become Optimus Prime's worst nightmare." The vocal performance would really need to sell this-- like picture Megs saying something like that from a place of anger and hurt, not so much a place of genuine evil or malice.
Basically instead of Orion's assertion being backed up as black and white/good vs bad, I wish we had some different opinions/reactions from the characters sprinkled in there. Like you can't tell me out of allllll the miners who weren't strong enough/willing to go with the High Guard and ended up sticking around that NONE of them were like "eyyo honestly?? Kiiiiinda glad Sentinel is dead. Wish I could have helped, tbh." like come onnnnn...
And you can't even argue that he's not an active threat-- I don't think everyone would see things that way! It's not just about the threat he physically has, but the threat he represents and is very likely to act upon if given the opportunity! He has a proven track record of not only being sneaky and conniving, but also capable of dealing some serious damage/killing people bigger and stronger than him, plus he has the backing of the Quints. All he'd need to do is wriggle his way out of jail and run off to his sponsors, then he'd probably be back to hurt more people! (If the Quints didn't just kill him out of incompetence lmao). There's a lot of "ifs" here, but I think it's a valid argument that not everyone would agree on what is the right or wrong way to handle Sentinel once he was down long enough to, like, do something about him.
I feel the situation needed a bit of nuance. In some way I wish they had kicked the can and had D and Orion bicker while Sentinel escaped, then have D get frustrated enough by the loss of Sentinel to point fingers (and his fusion canon) at Orion, who then falls and becomes OP. (Megs could still show some of thar emotion/remorse right after he does it too.) Not only would this open the door for a sequel, but tbh the Quint might have just killed Sentinel anyways and sought to deal with the miners uprising themselves lol. (Maybe that could have been an after credits scenes too instead of the B-127 bit??)
Would love to see a moment in a sequel where they have a calmer moment after arguing for a bit. Have OP mention how Megs was out of line, that it hurt and even scared him to see him act that way, and Megs can quietly point out "you said I was as bad as Sentinel... is that really how you see me? After everything we went through?"
Then OP can fumble the bag again lmao like "D, I... I'm sorry, that didn't come out right... but you still took things way too far..."
"Why am I not surprised-- your opinion is what matters the most! Maybe that's why you became a Prime, since you're so good at acting like the world revolves around you--!"
*gets interrupted by someone else before another yelling match ensues*
#rambling#transformers one#tf one#tfo#i'll be honest a lot of this stems from how rushed i felt the last like... 3rd of the movie feels#i feel Optimus is so dismissive of Megs!! like basically the whole movie but ESPECIALLY after coming back to life as a Prime???#your best friend is Going Through It. clearing having an Emotional Breakdown.#He drops you. In the moment it mattered most he chose violence... but notice what he says right before that?#Megs says ''I'm done saving you''#Like??? y'all don't wanna delve into that a little more?????#i half expected Optimus to pop up and be like ''excuse me. i wasn't done talking. what Did You Mean By That??''#instead he comes up and IMMEDIATELY has already written off this entire relationship as well.#Megs dropped him. it was a aplit second decision. we see in the movie D leaning into these bad impulses.#Orion is supposed to mature gradually so he's more level-headed by the end. why does that equate to abandoning the friendship??#why does he suddenly wanna drop Megs too? wouldn't this be the time for ''please listen to me'' part 2?#''it doesn't matter who has the matrix. we can make a change for the better! please listen to me'' etc#also minor nitpick but lmao why was OP Talking Like That after becoming Prime?#like he goes from ''haha hey guys hows it goin'' to ''You have used your gifts for Evil and Betrayed the entire planet''#babes what. Cybertron?? we went on a 2 day road trip on foot the fuck you know about Cybertron.#like betrayed Iacon maybe but idk maybe the guys in Tarn would be cool with Megs you dont know! lmao!#if my friend and I had beef and they started talking to me like the queen of england i would literally ask where they got their soapbox.#ohhhh you think you're morally superior? stop speaking for the whole planet lmao!! already named prime and letting it go to his head!!#strange dieties lying in the core of the planet distributing magic baubles that bring you back to life#is no basis for picking a planetary leader#this has been Orion Was Right: The Movie#when i wish there was a bit more.#maybe another 20-30 min would have helped me idk hhhhh#but Megs turn felt sooooo fast... then things just kept escalating from there.#''some transformations are permanent'' sir it's been like 48 hours since y'all learned you lives were a lie.#you *really* don't think Megs could ever cool down and apologize/change his mind?? you too??? tf???
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more!! again!! for the nico after blood of olympus fic!! actually I thought of this while writing the last one but I just finished it.
His elbows buckle and he lets himself fall into Will, snorting at his theatrical groan under the weight. They lay there for a second until Will shoves him gently, and Nico lets him manoeuvre them into a more comfortable position.
"Hi," he whispers, moving a curl away from his cheek. The greenish tint of the loft window casts a weird shadow over Will's face.
"Hey yourself," Will murmurs back, winking.
Nico rolls his eyes. "You look like Apollo when you do that. Please stop." Will squawks in protest.
"I do not! Also, since when do you remember what Apollo looks like? Actually, no, don't answer that, you can't bring up my dad while we're in bed, Nico, why would you do this to me?"
Now it's Nico's turn to sputter and whack Will in the chest - getting another dramatic oof and a laugh in return - before turning around to face Hazel's bed. He's not sure when he'll ever be able to sleep facing the wall. Will can't do it either.
As Will's arms curl around his waist and draw him back against him, just like they did back in the infirmary that one day, he thinks maybe he'd be okay trying that with him sometime. One day, in a house with gates, no longer wary of monsters.
Will noses the back of his neck, causing him to twitch. "What is it?"
Will's answering smile presses through the rough cotton of his t-shirt. "Nothing, sunshine."
Nico frowns under the covers. "Hey, what do you think of houses with gates?" He whispers.
"Gates? Well, it'd be safer, I guess, but we'd lose the neighbours coming over -"
"As if you want to see random people at the door anyway. What if they're monsters?"
"Oh, come on, darlin', I'm from Austin. Of course I gotta keep space for the neighbours to come knocking."
"…Fences? Actually, hey, why'd you assume I was talking about us? Obviously - Obviously I was talking about random. Random houses. For architecture reasons."
Will muffles his laugh into the back of his neck, again. "Oh, my bad. And I'm only here because you ripped a stitch on the lava wall yesterday."
Nico feels his ears warm.
"Shut up."
"I didn't say anything."
"..Still."
Will reels him in closer until his back hits his chest and he can press a soft peck to Nico's still-red ears. "I think a fence is a great idea, by the way. We could ask Hazel for help with some ward stones too, like you have in the cabin. Gotta make sure we've got at least one window and standing space in every direction, though, or at least in the east, because you know my dad would sulk if he didn't get to scream me awake in the morning."
Nico's blush gets worse.
"Now who's talking about your dad in bed?" He gives up on pretending. Will sees him through every time, anyway. "Also, shrines, obviously, and we need a spot to stargaze."
"Yeah, shrines, obviously. Maybe just yours, mine, and Lady Hestia's though, or else everyone else is gonna get pissy."
Nico barks out a laugh like it's shocked out of him. "Pissy? Don't let them hear you say that."
Will holds him tighter and settles against the pillows. "Sure thing, sunshine. Now can we sleep?"
"Yeah, yeah."
It's not long after that that Will's breath evens out behind him, his muscles untensing. Nico knows he's got a few minutes yet, so he thinks.
Today was…. good.
Today was nice. Normal, even. Just a day of camp schedules, working in the infirmary, an admittedly short campfire, and this. No monsters, and no mistakes. No deaths, but..
Unbidden, the moments in the infirmary come to mind. He thinks of helping Will scrub in for his one surgery of the day, a kid that had gotten parts of an arrow stuck in their leg a week ago and hadn't noticed til yesterday. He thinks of yesterday during capture-the-flag, stepping in and desperately trying to copy what he'd watched Will do, because Lydia was hanging crooked from a tree and there was no one else around but him-
He thinks of Patroclus tying the straps of Achilles' armour, watching his lover sleep peacefully. He thinks of what Connor had told him about at the campfire weeks ago, of Silena Beauregard taking on a drakon when Clarisse declared the Ares Cabin wouldn't be fighting.
He thinks he might understand.
Lydia wasn't the same (thank the gods), but if there was something to be done that only Will could do right, yet couldn't, and the only way Nico could take up his mantle would be to die trying - then, yeah. He'd do whatever it would take for these kids. To do what Will would do. He's gone to Tartarus already, hasn't he? At worst, he'd try his best and greet his father early if he failed to survive. Nico could even give Charon a tip on the way in for the hell of it, why not?
If there is a luxury that comes from being a child of Hades, after all, it is that dying is not the thing that scares him.
There's a brazier still lit outside the window. Its glow falls in slits across their bed.
Will grumbles, pushing his feet forward until their ankles are wound together. The sheets shift.
Nico smiles into the dark, into the chirping of crickets and the soft glow of the fireflies out the window, and falls asleep.
more for this fic:
scene 0 - prologue-ish scene 1 - the library of social awkwardness or here (or in my heart, 'kidney function is not a right, it's a privilege' lol)
general writing directory
also lmk if you want more lore. I am so down to talk about this fic + the worldbuilding ideas I have for it in the notes it is unreal
#writing process#nico di angelo trying to make friends#when the characters start doing their own thing and you're just along for the ride#would y'all help me choose a fic title if I asked?#will solace#toying with a chb fic about nico and grief and what three days in the infirmary actually looks like#plus my healthy nico agenda and a healthy dose of solangelo obv#nico di angelo#riordanverse#pjo fic#worldbuilding my beloved#they're teenagers your honour#I loved writing this scene TT#maybe a timeskip idk#solangelo#solangelo fic#pjo#hmmmmMMMMMMM you tell me which cabin lydia is from#she's like less than 14#lydia morrin is a young sweet spunky child that thinks she's a genius (like we all did) with a companion lack-of-confidence a mile wide#gotta say i am LOVING this new writing technique i am trying out with just writing scenes as I go#and creating this story trail I can actually trace and work with bc i have smth on the page now#like just from this I already have three more scenes I could write and I love it#thw you're writing and the sentences sounds a bit off grammatically but every other option you can see is so much worse
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