#and i am so. glad. to not be in that space any more. this is a much simpler way to be in the world

[sarahreesbrennan]

Thank you for writing Long Live Evil.

I'm no cancer survivor, so I haven't been through the horror that that must've been, congratulations to enduring and surviving, and my sincere condolences that you had to go through it.

But I am chronically ill (cystic fibrosis, genetic defect) and have so far lived for 5 years longer than my prognosis allowed. My health's been good and stabile for a long time now, but I remember times where I couldn't walk alone, had a 18/6 nasal cannula and a 24-hour IV drip instead of school or a future.

Now I'm working at university, an archaeologist, chipping away at writing stories for years and years, and incredibly glad and privileged to see the world. All this to say that seeing how hurt Rae was in the beginning (and again throughout the story, while also never truly forgetting her true roots and motives) and how she grew around it like a gnarled tree, was like catharsis for me. Having miraculously given a second chance, no matter how hard the fight to keep it will be; I haven't ever read any story talking about this in a way that made me feel seen and understood like this. Thank you also lots and lots for taking the time to mention Rae's appreciation for Rahela's curves — it's been the same for me, since I've managed to get out of the underweight-trap. It means a lot to me, and I guess to many others in similar situations, including you of course. Thank you for sharing this with us, it must've been hard to touch on a deeply personal experience like this in writing that's simultaneously removed from oneself through fiction (at least that's what I'm imagining).

Thank you, and I wish you nothing but the best, health, and lots of good days to come. Deeply curious to see how Rae's story will continue!

Thank you so much for this.

I am so glad you are alive. Thank you for that, too - for living on even when you couldn’t see a way forward and everything was helpless despair.

I haven’t been through what you’ve been through, either, but it’s a privilege to have shared adjoining experiences trapped in darkness, and to share gladness and the wide world with you now. I’m so sorry it happened, and so happy you have archaeology and stories, and the world has you.

I will be totally honest and say it has been hard sharing Long Live Evil with the world, and I’m so grateful to you for knowing that, and for sending this message because you knew. This book is highly personal to me, but it’s also meant to be a wild celebration of messiness, escapism, and finding humour in art and darkness. And that means to some it’s just a joke, and in the words of Joanna Russ, ‘she’s not really an artist and it’s not really art.’ And so it gets dismissed, and it does hurt to see my most important story dismissed sometimes.

I was with other writers in a public space at one point and they were talking about how their books were about serious issues while ‘Sarah’s book is just for fun, and that’s fine too!’ (I had to take a minute before I could lean into my microphone and say ‘My book is about cancer’ in a cheery tone.) I’ve seen readers saying ‘this book’s just fluff, just silly, I’m ashamed of myself for reading it, there’s nothing to it’ about the book I wrote about almost dying.

My Rae, while of course she has bits of me in her (every character I’ve ever written does), and evil queens I’ve loved, and characters with wild hubris going on in the Greek plays I mention often in the book, and readers I’ve seen and I’ve been who are blithely confident they know what’s going on without doing more than surface reading and while forgetting key details… she’s also bits of women and girls I’ve mentored, been mentored by, befriended. And some of them are dead. So seeing the bits that were them particularly scorned or judged, seeing her pain dismissed or the discussion of her body sneered at…

That has been hard.

But.

In the end I believe I am really an artist and this book is really art, and art is there for the wide world to judge - to be mocked and dismissed, yes, as a price that comes with the opportunity to also be truly seen and appreciated, to get to influence real people’s real lives. Art is the gold that comes from the crucible in which we put all our pain and all our love and all our joys. I believe it deepens and transforms.

I wrote this book about how deeply unsympathetic people actually are to sufferers of illness, chronic or otherwise, and especially to women expressing pain. How the world villainises imperfect victims—which means all victims. How the world villainises bodies, and robs us of our joy in them—even when there’s horror in a body, too. I did know that by putting this book out into this world, that attitude would be reflected back by the world onto the book. And that attitude has hurt me in the past, and hurts me when I see it now.

I still think it’s worth calling out that attitude, even if it means getting more of that attitude reflected back onto me - because it means readers like you see it, and know others have been through this, and it was never okay, and you were never alone. While I know there will also be readers with chronic illnesses and/or cancer whose experience doesn’t overlap with mine at all, that only means there need to be more stories. So everyone who needs it gets the map into fantasy lands.

And I do hope some able-bodied readers read it, and think twice about adopting the world’s attitude to the people in their lives who are already going through enough. Some readers have told me the book helped them sympathise with and understand the cancer sufferers in their family and friend circles, and that’s meant a great deal. What do we write for, if not to learn to love each other better?

Long Live Evil has also given me my life back, as truly as chemo did, in a way that makes the pain worthwhile - I think I would have kept telling stories in some form, but Long Live Evil was my last throw, for as far ahead as I could see. Now since the book’s done well so far I’m hoping I can write more books, and my life can be the storytelling shape I always wanted it to be.

I read your message and I regretted nothing. I remember the pain and the way so many of us laughed or tried to laugh our way through it, and I know this was my way. Jokes, like stories, are the golden thread we follow through the dark labyrinth of our own agony and incomprehension.

It really has been hard, and it’ll stay hard. But like living, it’s worth it.

Please know two things.

I am so happy I wrote this book. Ultimately more than any other feeling I had so, so much fun writing it, and I’m having even more fun seeing the book be read by the people it was meant for.

2. This book was written for you.

[enchantedflameandflower]

Gavin (Karl Urban) x reader!

Some hot making out in a magical tree house that is for sure going to lead to more…

co-written with CheshireCatSmile

@kus-babygirl @shirley-girly @jynx15 @everchar-of-the-shire @vavafaure1994

@deathlesun @butchers-girl @hippo2211

@bohemianblasphemy @karlurbanism @imherefordeanandbones @torntaltos @babyfri3dric3

karl urban masterlist

direct link to part 1

part 7

8.

Gavin chuckles, his dark eyes crinkling pleasantly at the corners then pulls you toward the make shift doorway and starts down the carved steps toward the space with the counter. When he's at the bottom he grabs you around the waist to lift you down the rest of the way. He's so strong he makes it seem effortless.

“I don’t know how you do that,” you say. “You might hurt yourself tossing me around like that.” You can’t help yourself, running your palm over his arm, feeling the muscles.

He eyes you up and down with a glint in his eyes. “I can handle you just fine…I'd say you’re about perfect in my book.”  He caresses your cheek then turns to start opening some of the other cabinets until he pulls down a cook top that looks to work much as a camp stove would. He checks the fuel canisters then rummages through his pack for the food packets. "Savory beef stew and savory chicken stew...which would you like tonight?  Or...there's...chow mein or white cheddar mac 'n cheese."

“Mmmmm mac ‘n cheese,” you grin. Something feels so good about sharing this with just him, comfortable and right. “It’s so nice to be away from everything. Thank you for bringing me.”

"It's my pleasure sweetheart. I'm kinda glad it worked out this way. Not that I want Jack to worry any more about his family or the baby...but it's nice sharing this with you. I would have been hesitant to go look for this treehouse if he was with me. I mean, he would have been totally focused on the business and wouldn't have wanted to take the time." He clears his throat. "I mean...he's just more on the serious side."

“He is. But I think it’s important to keep some magic and adventure in your life. At least it is to me. Honestly, I could stay out here for ages and never worry… It’s so beautiful.” 

Gavin finishes heating the food and brings it over to the table, sitting next to you. He smiles softly as he hands you the mac 'n cheese. "I had you pegged as a mac 'n cheese type of girl right from the start. Jack said you'd lived in Seattle and were used to fancier big city stuff. But I just had a feeling." He plucks off a piece of the leftover corn bread to dip in his stew. His thigh is warm against yours.

You laugh and take a big bite then hum gratefully. It’s actually very good. “I’m not used to fancy anything, believe me. But even if I was I’d much rather have a homey mac and cheese.” His thigh shifts against yours under the table and a little flutter of warmth goes through you so you press even closer.

"I like you just the way you are."

When you finish eating, you make sure to clean up while Gavin goes through his pack. It’s starting to get dark and the rain is picking up again.

"Thanks for cleaning up. I'll take the sleeping bags upstairs. I'd hate to have anything happen to that beautiful old quilt." Then he chuckles. "Upstairs higher up in the tree that is." He gathers both the bags up and traverses the carved stairs. Then he looks over his shoulder. "Ready for dessert?"

You laugh a little but a wild flutter goes off in your chest and warmth suffuses you. How could you have gotten this lucky out of nowhere? You try to tamp your excitement in case it doesn’t work but you can’t help it. You’ve never had anyone be this kind, not even at the beginning. “Oh, yes I am,” you smile. You dig a flashlight out of your pack and follow him up.

He unrolls one sleeping bag on the double bed and smooths it out over the mattress then spreads out the second one face down and zips one side and the bottom together making it easy to slide in from the other side. The rain starts coming down a little harder and you're both grateful at how much of the room is actually securely covered. Someone must have done a lot of work getting things in shape before they left. "I'll just grab our packs and bring them up in case we need anything."  He's back in a moment and you notice his hair got a little damp.

You had shimmied out of your jeans while he grabbed the packs like he had done the night before then slipped into the sleeping bags and scooted all the way over so he can slide in too. It was dark now so you left the flashlight on and grinned when he came back in the room. “You’re wet again,” you teased but you loved the way his hair looked a little disheveled.

"Yeah, I grabbed the quilt and folded it back up to put away then I took a look over the edge and out toward the ridge. But I got out too far from the roof," he chuckles. "Didn't get too wet luckily." He reaches in his pack and pulls out a chocolate bar to share. Then he undresses down to his boxers and a tank. You watch his muscles ripple and bunch and can't help admire his strong body.

He has a couple funny tan lines from working so much in the sun but they don’t deter at all from the way he looks. He smiles when he sees you watching him and you’re sure he can see all the less than innocent thoughts in your head. You sit up and pull off your sweater but leave your t-shirt on as he climbs in. “It’s strange how it doesn’t seem to be too cold in here isn’t it? It’s lovely.”

"It is," he agrees. Then he smiles. "Just cool enough for comfortable cuddling...but first..."  He splits the chocolate bar in two and hands you half as he slips into the sleeping bag.

“You definitely know the way to get me in a good mood,” you grin. “Mac ‘n cheese and chocolate in bed?” You curl up close to him and take a bite of the candy, humming with pleasure at the sweet, rich taste.

"You are so different from what Jack has in his head," he says, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close. "You're beautiful and kind and down to earth. Pretty perfect in my book." 

“I think people in town think I’m a snob because I’m quiet. I’m just…I don’t know,” you shrug and take anther bite of chocolate. “Do you talk about me a lot?” you grin, wriggling closer.

"Well...I have to be honest...I noticed you that first day you came in to interview. Just something about you caught my attention. Thank God your references were so great. Jack had to agree with me you were the best person we could hire. He was impressed too and that's not always easy. But I think he has this idea since you were at that big firm in Seattle that you're a city girl at heart. He told me to be caref....well he told me you'd probably get tired of life down here and move back to the city." He clears his throat.  "Anyway, I'm glad you answered our ad."

“I’m glad I did too. I couldn’t stay in the city anymore. Not with…” you trail off and stop yourself, not wanting to talk about your ex at all. “I noticed you the first day too. But you’re always so busy and I so desperately wanted to do a good job.” You finish the chocolate and snuggle a little closer to him, licking your fingers clean.

You notice a little spot of chocolate on his lower lip as he shifts closer to you and settles. "What?" he inquires as he watches your eyes flick to his lips more than once.

“Um,” you bite your lip, letting your gaze flick to his eyes and lips again. “You missed some,” you smile, then lean forward and slowly swipe your tongue over his full lower lip.

His hazel eyes darken a shade. "Mmmm," he hums and captures you in a slow sensuous kiss, his tongue gliding in to swirl around yours in a possessive dance sending warmth all the way to your toes.

You moan softly into his kiss as he takes over completely and fills you with so much heat you wish you were wearing nothing at all. Your arms slide around his broad shoulders unconsciously as you try to pull him closer.

One strong arm tightens around you as his other hand slides into your hair. A low rumble rolls through his chest sounding like the purr of a large jungle cat. His fingers drag through your hair and it’s so good, you feel like you’re going to melt away. His tongue swirls around yours again, making your heart race. You shift against him, rubbing your foot along his calf.

That masculine rumble rolls through his chest again, vibrating against you. He pulls back so slowly from the kiss and presses a row of kisses along your jawline.

His mouth is hot and insistent and you have to gasp for air when he breaks the kiss as if you had forgotten you need to breathe. “Gavin,” you moan his name. “Something feels different here…almost as if there’s magic in the air…doesn’t it?”

He lets out a shaky breath and you know he’s affected by you too. His dark eyes glitter in the dim light as he looks at you. "Mmm...yes...it does sweetheart.” The rain makes a tinkling sound high overhead...almost like hitting soft chimes and it's sound is like music drifting down from the highest branches.

You think it must’ve been years since you’ve felt as relaxed as this. That voice in your head is still telling you to hide away but you can barely hear it. You let your fingers trace the muscles of his shoulders, perfectly built and lithe and so strong, you can’t get enough.

He nuzzles at your neck softly then whispers, "I think it must be magic that brought you here and brought us to this place and time. It's almost like I remember you from a dream."

“You feel like magic…” you breathe. He’s warm and solid, almost on top of you and his stubble lightly tickles your sensitive skin as he’s careful not to rub. It makes you feel like your entire body is coming alive for the first time.

"You feel so right in my arms," he says, husk in his voice. "Like you were always meant to be there. That probably sounds like a line...but I promise you it's not." He kisses his way down your throat to your pulse point and stops to lightly touch there, his lips warm and soft.

You tilt your head back in pure bliss and shivers of pleasure go through you making you cling to him tighter. “It doesn’t sound like a line. I feel it too.”

He nips gently at your pulse and smiles against your skin as he feels your heartbeat increase. "Either this place is magic or you are," he murmurs in a slightly gruff timbre.

It’s hard to believe it could be you but you can hardly even think with the way he feels. You thread your fingers through his tousled hair and guide his mouth back to yours, wanting to taste him again.

He immediately responds to your coaxing and his lips are on yours, tongue sliding in to possess yours. He presses you closer and deepens the kiss like a man parched, finding an oasis in the desert and leaving you whimpering helplessly beneath him.

His body somehow grows even hotter and feels even better than before. The sleeping bag has fallen away and he’s holding you against him. You tangle your legs with his as he tangles his tongue around yours and it makes you moan softly.

He takes his fill then finally lets you breathe as he kisses his way along your jaw again to that sensitive hollow just behind your ear. He flicks his tongue out to taste just there sending more warm shivers through you and making your center throb. You shift your hips pressing to his firm thigh and you can feel his cock swelling against your stomach. He gives a low rumble and flicks his tongue over that little spot once more.

“Gavin…” you whimper. Pleasure and heat flare inside of you. “If you do that again I’m going to go crazy,” you tease, laughing softly.

He pulls back to smile at you and rubs his hand comfortingly along your side. “Why don’t you catch your breath, sweetheart,” his voice is husky but his words are sure and you know he must have seen that tiny last fleck of lingering anxiousness in your eyes. “I don't mind taking my time with you. Let me just hold you close for awhile and we can listen to the rain. Feel the magic of this place." He adjusts his position and lays back, wrapping his arms around you and snuggling you close to his body.

You curl your arm around him, letting your fingers drift over his chest and tilt your head just a little to look into his dark eyes. “You really don’t mind?”

You can see the emotions swirling there, but mostly you see the warmth and growing affection with that carefully banked simmering heat. You also see the promise of more and the conviction of his words.

“No, I don’t mind. We can wait until you’re 100% sure. I’ll be here no matter what.”

You settle in against his chest again, resting your head on his warm shoulder. You’re almost there, you know, and you have a feeling you’re not going to make it out of this bed without giving in to your desires. But for now, this just feels perfect. “I love the sound of the rain. I couldn’t be happier.”

"Your happiness makes my heart feel warm and full," he murmurs.  He settles you closer against him and his warm breath gently ruffles your hair.

All of him feels so so good.

"I could fall asleep with you pressed against me every single night and die a happy man. Rest for a bit, sweetheart. I’ll be here."

~*~*~

Next up: SMUT! (I promise to get the next part out quicker!)

really hope you like, reblogs, comments and like mean everything <3

[sheepwavehdg]

HDG story thoughts: The Floret In The Mirror

The Floret in the Mirror is a cyberpunk mystery erotica story by @kanagenwrites. It is a sequel to No Gods No Masters.

FITM is a fascinatingly unique HDG atory. It is one of only a handful of stories in HDG which meaningfully explore digital life, (which makes up literally half of the compact, it seems!) but it resonates for me in a way that the others I read that did, Wellness Check and Milk and Cookies, did not.

it follows two characters, Jess digital and Jess physical. A forked existence, and each of them thinks the other is the real one. As someone with some pretty horrible experiences with Brain Problems™, this actually put me off of the fic for a long time, and I'm glad I was able to sit through the discomfort of seeing my own past experiences out so vividly to page. Both characters feel unmoored,as the physical Jess has no memories and the Digital one is a copy. They eachs struggle with their own validity, and then things get even more complicated.

As both a plural system and someone who looks upon the person she was before getting brain damage with a sense of envy that she is surely the real me I was denied the opportunity to be, this story hit and it hit hard. Even without that context, the themes of identity and growth that it explored are meaningful and explored with depth (any more is spoilers!)

Making an HDG mystery novel was a frankly inspired idea. While I will not be spoiling the mystery, the framing allows the affini to be narrative antagonists (not villains, but an oppositional narrative force) that it is fascinating to watch the protagonists try to sneak around and outsmart. I was truly on the edge of my seat for the plot, and I even had the answer to the mystery spoiled to me by accident.

Oh my god, the kink. The fucking kink on display in this story. I was feasting the entire time while reading it. I am an avid VRchat and hypnokink enthusiast, and the kinds of weird, esoteric shit you can get up to when the laws of physics and reality are malleable is captured so well in this story. There are smut scenes that had my jaw dropping from thier sheer creativity.

Reading this story changed how I am going to approach the setting. I want to play in this space. It already inspired one oneshot out of me, I expect it to do far more in the future.

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

Hi, I got a request if you feel like it:

17. "I had a nightmare. Can I just lay with you for a bit?"

with Marko and Dwayne (or just pick one of them if you wanna) x trans masc reader (who's not passing in the slightest, he wears his hair long + he can't bind because of sensory issues)

-Snow

Hi Snow! First off, thank you for requesting, and I am so sorry for the long wait - life got a bit busy, busier than expected. I tried really hard to write this the way you requested, but I couldn't include your descriptions without it feeling forced and unnatural, while that is the complete opposite of what I want to write and you (I imagine) want to read. So, I decided to keep any descriptions of the reader as gender neutral as possible, so it might still be enjoyed by you and would still be as close to your initial request as possible. I hope you like this and bave a nice day!💜

----------------------

Outside, a storm was brewing. Leaves were flying everywhere, the heat of summer making place for the cold of autumn. Even though Dwayne had lit several barrels in the cave, the heat the rocks had accumulated over summer had been gone for a while now. In this chill, the wind blowing and howling through the caves, sleep wasn't on anyone's mind. It wasn't on mine, anyway. Not anymore. I had slept for a little bit, but a nast nightmare had woken me up.

I sighed, frustrated. I didn't usually have nightmares, but when I did, they were... horrible. I shook my head slightly, closing my eyes as I took in a deep breath. I was tired still, and I needed the sleep. I knew it would be of no use, I knew I never slept well after a nightmare.

Still, I tried. I tried to close my eyes, to let sleep catch me. But it was of no use. Every time I closed my eyes, I kept seeing the horrible flashes, the blood curling screams of people being ripped apart. I sighed, a glare on my face. This wasn't going to work.

I got out of bed, grabbing the sweater I'd left at the clothingchair. I pulled on some socks, the floors in the cave often being ice cold. I made my way out of my room, moving next door where I knew I'd find my boyfriends. It was the middle of the night, so they'd be awake still - a useful quirk of dating a vampire.

"Hey, you alright?" Marko looked up. He had a sketchbook laying on his lap, but I couldn't see what he'd been working on. Dwayne was on the other end of the room, some broken pieces of engine laying in front of him. He had been meaning to fix his old bike, so iw as glad he'd finally gotten around to do so.

"I had a nightmare," I said as I closed the makeshift door behind me. "Can I lay with you guys for a bit?"

It wasn't even a question I needed to ask, I knew that, and they knew that. Still, I felt it was right to ask them.

Within seconds, Marko had cleared out the bed, making enough space for me to comfortably lay down. Dwayne had put his work down as well, laying down next to me.

"What did you dream about?"

I sighed quietly. "I saw you feed a couple days ago."

Both of them were quiet for a moment, Marko moving to lay down on my other side. "You followed us then," he said, a slight hint of disapproval in his voice.

"No," I said, "I was on my way to the pier, when I heard screams and wanted to find out what was going on. I didn't know it was you."

It was quiet for a moment, none of us knowing what to say.

"What did you see?" Dwayne asked after a moment.

"You ripped someone to pieces. Marko ripped someone's throat out. There was - there was a lot of blood. And screams."

"We like to get theatrical." I could hear Marko shrug as he said that.

"This was a bit more than that," I shuddered.

"And yet you still come to us for comfort."

I rolled my eyes, seeing Dwayne's smug grin.

"Yeah, well, I don't think David or Paul would give me any kind of comfort and instead would take me out to see that they can kill more gruesomely than you two."

"He's right about that," Marko looked at Dwayne, also carrying a smug grin.

"Of course I am! Besides, I mean," I sighed, "even though it was horrifying and I don't want to see anything like that anytime soon, I mean, I knew what you are. So-"

"Even though you knew what you were getting into, you've got a reason to be scared. Don't downplay it because you think we'd expect you to." Dwayne looked at me.

"It was scary."

"Think you can sleep with us near?"

"I figured that because we're a thing you wouldn't feel the need to slaughter me," I said with a slight hint of humour in my voice.

"Well, you look rather-" Marko started, but chuckled as he saw my glare and Dwayne's subtle shake of his head.

"Fine," he grinned, "get some sleep, love. We'll be here."

I smiled, curling up beneath the blankets, laying between my two boyfriends. We chatted for a while until I finally fell asleep, unbothered by any nightmares.

[asexualbookbird]

Hm. Okay. So I didn't read a lot this last month. I've been fighting chronic illness and the brain fog that comes with it so really it's a miracle I read what I did. Didn't do any drawing challenge this year, but I DID knit a half dozen cool little things I can't yet share but am very excited about! I also had fun with the Tricking Treats this year. Yall really came through for that game this year, thanks! Acquired a nice new monitor for computer and it's been wonderful. Next step is speakers so I can watch things!

I feel like I made a pretty decent dent in my yearly reading list and while I don't think I'll finish it (waitlist for Jasmine Throne audio is still about sixteen weeks long), I'm happy with where I am. Three (3!!) books I read this month were from the list and I think that's very cool and executive functioning of me.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan ⭐⭐⭐½ - A friend has been trying to get me to read this since it came out and I've always put it off because our tastes are SO different, but I didn't hate this! I mostly enjoyed it! It missed a few marks for me and I wouldn't really want to read it again, but I'm glad I experienced it. Love a good gremlin of a main character.

Red Sister by Mark Lawrence ⭐ - Yawn. Snore. Boring. Read for book club, but I wasn't exactly not interested in it on my own. IT just. Didn't hit right. Mark Lawrence needs to stop being afraid of aging up his characters because there is no way a nine year old is doing all that. Was this scifi? Where those space ships?? Is the moon haunted??? Who knows. Who cares. Not I.

Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I am forever a Daughter of Smoke and Bone girlie (gender neutral) so I've been avoiding this because what if I don't like it?? Spoiler! I did like it! It somehow scratched the hole left in my heart after DoSaB, but still felt distinct and unique. Did not like the insta love going on, yall have known each other for like twelve hours what do you mean you're In Love. Visuals were great and world building stunning as always. I wish Laini Taylor published more books, I love the worlds she creates.

Once & Future by AR Capetta and Cory McCarthy ⭐ - I'm never reading another book with Jimmy Pees name on it ever again. I meant to do a full review on this one, but time slipped away. I think this could be SO GOOD if it was reworked to two books where book one stopped at the time skip and book two took more time to overthrow the Evil Capitalist. It was too on the nose. It felt like middle grade, it dealt with older young adult topics. Merlin fucking sucked. I find it icky that everyone was paired off except for the ace character who EVERYONE HATED. Sure they came around to her, but ONLY AFTER IT WAS MADE CLEAR SHE WASN'T INTO GWEN. Ick. Full of potential, and yet.

Not a great reading month. Maybe November will be kinder. I'm slowly getting through Sunbringer, and am enjoying what I'm read so far so things are looking up. Going to see Nerd Squad soon. Still making knitted things I can't share until after the holidays. Tricking Treats also made me excited to do art again and because there were so many I ended up learning a lot about how CSP works which is fun! So hey! November is looking good! November is looking fun! I WILL MAKE IT FUN!

[marlynnofmany]

Formatting a book isn't for the faint of heart.

Book: "Hey look, line breaks that won't go away."

Me: *many hours of sleuthing later* "Some of the spaces between words were 'unbreaking spaces.' Now I know."

Book: "Hey look, page numbers in a weird spot."

Me: *stares* "Are they indented? Oh, the headers and footers are in Body Paragraph Style. So glad I'm almost done with this."

Book: "Hey look--"

Me: "DO NOT."

[lunarharp]

"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[faaun]

pls i need to provide updates

[yourdrugisafartbreaker]

So I just finished my Tubi watch through of Class of the Titans and… Wow, I wasn’t expecting that ending. But, with all of that done with, I need to talk about my favorite character.

And, like, a lot…

(WARNING: This post has MAJOR spoilers for the show Class of the Titans, I basically go over the whole show, although they mostly pertain to a certain character from the show. This show is currently FREE on Tubi and other streaming platforms. Hell, I looked it up on YouTube, it’s also there too! Please go watch it! It’ll grow on you! Of course, you’re fine to read on if you don’t really care about that, but I wouldn’t want to be the one ruining any possible enjoyment of the show for you. Anyways, infodumping!)

While at the beginning of my watch through of the Canadian cartoon Class of the Titans, I posted about it, and I said Hermes seemed to be my favorite character so far. Now, I still like him pretty strongly, I will admit that he didn’t get enough screen time for me to fully consider my favorite character in this show period.

Now, Cronus on the other hand, he got a LOT of screen time. (Being the main villain will do that to you.) He’s relentlessly evil and campy as hell, not to mention that with his lines, he is the epitome of a villainous Tumblr sexyman. In addition, not only is he the God of Time AND Space, he’s also Zeus’ dad. As a main villain, I absolutely adore him! But, admittedly, something is missing to me. See, he’s the main villain, the foil to the protagonists. If he succeeds, well, the show is done pal. Thus, he’s not really allowed to grow because of that. He always gets beaten and/or forced to flee by the main seven heroes. Because of that, while his writing in terms of pure lines is fantastic, the overall writing is admittedly static. Now, the show does admittedly occasionally venture outside the box and make Cronus something besides the main villain to our heroes, but that’s also understandably limited.

So, someone with screen time and is allowed to develop, who could belong to that group… Why, of course, who else but the main group of heroes! Well, in a way, they are a bit samey. They’re all the destined heroes who want to focus on heroing. Well, of course, there is a bit of an exception…

Neil’s character is written brilliantly.

That’s right, Neil, I’m talking about you.

As the seventh and last hero introduced in the series, the team depends on him to fulfill the prophecy that seven heroes will defeat Cronus! Except, he’s not much of a hero. The word that Neil wants after super is model, not hero. And, this is by design.

First off, all of the heroes are descended from Greek figures. Archie is related to Achilles, Atlanta is related to Athena, and on and on and on. And then, there’s Neil, who is descended from Narcissus. Now, a beautiful guy who fell in love with his own reflection in some water and stared at it until he died doesn’t sound so heroic, does it? Of course, Neil reflects this narcissism, his vanity being his signature trait.

This signature trait shows that, compared to the other characters, his personality is essentially fundamentally flawed from the start. In fact, in the intro, it gives everyone a descriptor for their role in the team. Jay is the leader, Herry is the brawn, and so forth. Neil’s descriptor? He is simply dubbed the good looking one. (For reasons we’ll discuss later, this vastly undersells Neil.)

Now, while this makes him sound like the least likable hero in the show… Well, he 100% is, but that’s the point. I don’t know if I could truly be friends with him, but goodness, he’s probably the objectively best hero in terms of character. He’s egocentric, self-centered, and honestly not too empathetic. However, because he displays these flaws so much, it kinda becomes accepted that this is just Neil.

When other heroes have their flaws become evident, like Odie’s carelessness in taking Zeus’ Time Piece because everyone keeps taking up his time, it’s addressed rather quickly. More often than not, with a lesson learned, it kind of gets swept under the rug. But Neil? Oh boy, try unraveling all of that, much less try fixing all of that!

But, in turn, this has a bit of an inverse effect. Cool, Herry did the hero thing, he’s supposed to, because he’s good guy Herry. But, Neil? I am screaming “GO, WHITE BOY, GO!” at the top of my lungs whenever he seems to be actually helping. It’s a bit dependent of the principles of quality over quantity and how can I miss it when I see it so much. Neil, if he ever looks away from his mirror, can have more meaningful rescues and moments where he helps out simply because he doesn’t do it as much. (Admittedly, he is a hero and should be helping more, but we take the small victories with Neil here.)

Now, how does Neil help, exactly? Well, again, all of the heroes have their roles. Theresa is psychic, Athena is super fast, Herry is super strong, Odie is super smart, Jay is a leader with excellent battle intuition, and Archie is… Immune to disease and has a crappy ankle? (How helpful is that? It does come into play, but it’s not like he’s a healer or anything. Archie is probably my least favorite hero though, so…) Anyways, they all have their powers, and Neil has his. You know what it is? Plot armor.

No, I’m not kidding, it is essentially plot armor. Of course, the show calls it luck, and he is pretty damn lucky. He always wins coin flips and gets good grades on tests without studying, he miraculously avoids getting hurt many times, and can often accidentally or unintentionally inspire ideas in others on the team. This is the reason he is on the team, he can be a pain to put up with and often doesn’t have a weapon, but this luck is literally the answer to anything you need on the show. Admittedly, his luck can only help him so much. (Gods, please help this boy try to perform social interactions…) But, it is very important to not only the show’s story, but also to the character of Neil as a whole.

A guy easily chucking cars around? Superhero to the max. A girl running faster than humanly possible? Yeah, that’s a superhero. A really lucky guy? That might just be how the stars line up. If Neil has always had these powers, (And I am assuming here, because we get like… Not much sense of these heroes’ home life at all really.), of course Neil ended up as the brat he is! If things often tend to go his way, he wouldn’t often have to face the reality of things NOT going his way. He’s obviously gonna get bigheaded because of this, which might inspire others to be jealous/not like him, which only further perpetuates his ego. Also, this luck and subsequent ego allows him to be really dumb. Like, he has enough sense to know he can use his mirror as a way to see things without actually looking, but otherwise, he is as dumb as a bag of bricks. Perhaps because he really only tries to act smart (enough) whenever it seems to benefit him or he already knows about it. (Odie talks to him about tectonic plates and Neil seemingly has no clue what a tectonic plate is. It doesn’t immediately benefit him to know what a tectonic plate is either, and he just knows the team has to stop an earthquake thingy.) This power is so significant, yet it doesn’t really actually empower or instill any sense of heroism in Neil because it’s not obviously a power, which still allowed for Neil to end up as a coward. (At first. Also, damn, he has a high pitched scream!)

Yet, amongst all of the vanity inspired by both his ancestry and his power, there are some interesting layers. Sometimes, he’ll end up coming across as really genuine, even if comes off as SO awkward. He’ll drop down the mask of being cool in a more vain sense, exchanging it in for a more authentic self, which can often still be seen as cool. (For example, he talks about how he would be a really cool DJ while talking to the group in the cafeteria, before he starts using two plates as discs, and it actually pops the team and they laugh about it.) He has one liners throughout the series, but over the course of the series, they come off as more genuine and oddly heroic in a strange way. Of course, Neil will be Neil, but Neil can actually stop focusing on himself for a second. (Probably on something shiny. He loves shiny things.)

However, his vain and genuine parts combine together to create probably his most important part: His lack of a filter. Now, this obviously can create some funny moments, such as his incessant complaining and whining and wailing. Then again, Neil can get kinda wild at times. While talking about Dionysus, the god of partying who consumes an excessive amount of wine, Neil asks, “Is he still a…?” before continuing by making a bottle sipping gesture. Like… Oh my gods. Did he really just ask that on a kid’s show? That is probably the most direct way to ask that in a way that is also allowed on a kid’s show. (Even Hera is a bit taken aback by this, Neil’s question means she has to quickly explain Dionysus now focuses on science.)

However, in a way, his lack of a filter is also a good thing. See, in some strange way, this makes him actually pretty genuine. Now, this man is basically blind to his own flaws for a majority of the series, but that doesn’t prevent him from calling out others. He’s done this multiple times, such as when Archie opened up Pandora’s Box. (He basically called Archie a failure for that, so, again, Neil can get wild!) Hera is explaining to them all (and also the audience) the story of Pandora’s Box, and how she was gifted a box by the gods, but was told not to open it, and her opening up the box released some pretty bad stuff. Neil of course has to add his commentary to it, as he basically says, “You gods suck! You give people presents they can’t open and apples they can’t eat!”. He says this directly in the presence of the gods! Also, he tossed in a potshot at Christianity! He doesn’t care, and I love him for it! (Then again, Neil probably just worships himself, so…)

I fell in love with Neil because of his pure lines written for him, he’s very much like a smarmy pro wrestling heel, which is great, considering I’m a pro wrestling fan. However, after investing into Neil, I most appreciate him for his change over the course of the series. Now, it’s subtle and probably overshadowed by his constant unwillingness to change, but his arc over the course of the entire series is the perfect slow burn for me. Now, let’s start at the beginning.

(Get ready for the length because I took so many notes on Neil!)

He actually isn’t brought in until the third part of the introductory Chaos arc, as he is the last of the prophesied seven heroes, and the others have to go look for him. He’s… Just so not what they thought they were looking for in a hero. Hell, he’s even aligned with Cronus at first! (Then again, Cronus finds Neil when he’s at a photo shoot and convinces Neil that he is a talent agent, so I can’t really blame Neil there.) To make him live up to his Narcissus ancestry, Cronus gets Neil to oodle over his own reflection in a pool of water, before the heroes realize Neil’s power is luck and the heroes chuck Cronus over the top of the building. However, in response, Neil yells about how the heroes just killed his agent. Cronus was okay on the side of the building and climbing up with his scythes though, but the heroes manage to take Neil away, bringing him to the school. He’s so dismissive of whatever the others say until they bring him into the school, and whether or not he likes it (He doesn’t.), he is a superhero now! Funnily enough, Neil ends up unintentionally inspiring Odie to create the thing to stop Cronus’ plans, and the intro arc ends, and we’re strapped in and ready for the rest of the series.

Neil does his thing in the meanwhile, slinging insults and staring at himself in his mirror, all the while not having any weapons and not really fighting all that well, if he even chooses to fight. He gets his first real focus as a member of the team in a particular episode, The Trojan Horse, where Odie gets seriously hurt and gets mad and leaves. After saying Jay’s recent track record as leader stinks, Hera makes an executive decision to replace Jay with Neil, and everyone starts arguing while Odie joins up with Cronus and Jay leaves while feeling disillusioned and Neil gives himself a captain’s hat. After Jay returns with Odie being all evil and strong and stuff now, Neil appoints him as the leader again on the condition that he gets to keep his captain’s hat, and the episode ends with Odie revealing he was a fake defector and helped take out Cronus.

After annoying an already set off Archie (who is afraid of water) by imitating submarine pings, as well as somehow doing magic right on his first try by saying bibbidi bobbidi boo, Neil’s at the zoo taking a photo shoot with monkeys in the Sibling Rivalry episode. Medusa tries to attack him, but thanks to Neil’s good luck, Medusa takes herself out. Well, that’s not how Neil’s telling the story, he’s saying that he laid haymakers into her. Then, when the Gorgon sisters kidnap him, he’s scared and can’t even look at his captors. Of course, Neil gets saved by the others, as the Gorgon sisters get crushed thanks to the cave they are in collapsing on them. And how does Neil tell the story? Well, he goes on about how he took out all 3 Gorgon sisters.

During his first arc, which I call his Getting Acclimated arc, Neil adjusts to everything between his introduction and the Pandora’s Box episode for the first half of Season 1. Everyone gets used to Neil, how he is always late and focused on his beauty, along with his general dumbassery and lack of a filter. Then again, Neil also has to get used to everything, and he leans on certain tendencies to keep himself a bit distant while he grows accustomed to everything.

His next arc, which starts around the Make-Up Exam episode where Neil offers a brainwashed Atlanta his stereo in order to escape Arachne’s web, is his Growing Responsibility arc. He feels he now has to try and prove himself as a hero, and while he doesn’t always help, he is trying to be helpful and fill his role more than being self-serving.

In the Odie-ssey episode, Neil is fine with being stranded on an island with Odie and Jay because he gets to be on the beach and relax, but he ends up doing a lot of climbing and even has to face Cronus by the end of the episode even thought he hates it. In the episode Get Kraken, where a confused Neil infamously says that there is a cracker on the loose, Neil is clearly trying to help by pointing out the Kraken first. However, after Jay saved Neil from being slapshotted like a hockey puck, Neil gets fussy with Jay because Jay interrupted Neil’s thought process and he forgot a very important idea. In the Eye for an Eye episode where Odie is attacked by a one-eyed monster, Neil is convinced the one-eyed part means that the attacker is a pirate, not to mention that he points out where the cyclops is going while he is actively standing in a cyclops footprint. (Neil also faces instant karma this episode, as he makes fun of Atlanta for getting electrocuted by not jumping over the electric wire, before Neil then gets electrocuted by an electric mine.) Again, trying to help, but he’s going about it in a Neil way.

Neil is becoming less static as a character as his boundaries are slowly being opened, but this means that sudden shifts may occur, such as in Bows and Eros. This Valentine’s Day episode, which is the first holiday episode of the series, features a corrupted Eros (Do not call him Cupid!) shooting hate-spiked arrows at everyone thanks to Cronus. As a result, not only do the heroes hate each other, all of New Olympia hates each other! Except, for Neil, it makes possible the one thing thought impossible: It makes Neil hate himself since he looked into a mirror. (Of course, Eros has to shoot him with a second arrow, as the first one missed thanks to Neil’s luck.) He immediately cries about his hair, saying how ugly he looks as he puts a bag over his head, before running out of the bathroom. Next time we see him, Jay finds Neil bald while strapped into a chair with duct tape over his mouth, as Odie explains to Jay that he wanted to do something about Neil complaining about his hair. However, after being comforted by Aphrodite and donning a fake wig which he totally rocks, he actually powers on and helps the other heroes take down Cronus. In typical Neil fashion though, once Eros and Psyche are reunited and start kissing, Neil and some others in the group tell the two to get a room. The ultimate takeaway though is that, instead of backing down and crumbling, which Neil might have done before, Neil actually powers on. (Also, thank the gods Neil being bald exists only during this episode, because I never want to see his egg head again.)

After he gets turned into a statue in the Underworld in Road to Hades, Neil’s importance is raised a bit in the show, and what he manages to accomplish in the next few episodes is astonishing. After agreeing to give up his plans of any Spring Break parties in Many Happy Returns, Neil actually gets the gang out of a tight spot when they get caught breaking into a museum by a security guard, as Neil uses his Speech 100 to convince the security guard that they are night researchers who study things like owls and comets in order to bring back Hephaestus’ robot ladies. This… Somehow works. In fact, later on in that same episode, Neil proudly lives up to his role as a decoy standing at the peak of a volcano while a bronze giant in Talos is actively trying to destroy the heroes. The next episode titled Labour Day shows a wrestling match between Herry and Neil, and even if Herry is super mega distracted by some bodacious babes he saw yesterday, along with Neil shockingly throwing out the worst insults ever, all of that doesn’t matter when Neil actually beats Herry! (Then, when the gang has to search for a missing Herry, Neil tries to stay in the car to listen to some sweet jams.) Neil is putting in the effort and actually being rewarded.

Now, with this episode called They Might Be G.I.Ants, Neil’s shenanigans get taken to some of the weirdest I have ever seen. So… Cronus raids a military base and turns all of their soldiers into giant ants. How does Neil get involved? Well, when the heroes end up clashing with these ants, Neil manages to get the collar off of one. Not only does this help later, as Odie needs one of the collars to try to take over the ant brains back from Cronus, a particular ant becomes super connected to Neil. Why? Well, the ant stung Neil in the ass. This sends Neil into a state of delirium, where he befriends the ant, and even lowkey flirts with it. Neil somehow is the key to helping mitigate the giant ant problem. I could not believe this at all when I first saw this episode. Interestingly enough, there’s a part of this episode where Neil and Odie form their own team in a tactical exercise because they got picked last and are upset that they are perceived as not as valuable, and they actually end up as the winners of the exercise by the end of the episode.

Neil gets kidnapped (again) by a Stymphalian Bird in Cronus’ Flying Circus, but uses his mirror to avoid becoming bird food, although he sadly broke a nail in the process. He ends up being the most knowledgeable in the episode Sybaris’ Fountain episode when it comes to fighting Sybaris and her ghost vampires, considering he has watched so many vampire movies before, as he brought garlic and stakes and holy water soakers in his vampire hunter drip, and these tools end up stalling their undead foes for long enough for Sybaris to be defeated.

But, amongst all of the things he has had to do, The Last Word may host Neil’s biggest show of commitment to the team so far despite how annoying things personally get for him here. While performing a beautiful rendition of Michael J. Frog’s Hello My Baby in the shower, Neil gets paranoid about a voice talking to him, but no one else cares because they cannot hear it. Surprise, Neil is kidnapped for a third time in Season 1! Echo is enamored with Neil’s ancestor Narcissus (which means she is also enamored with Neil by extension) and is a chatterbox who always has to have the last word, but she ends up spilling about how she is working with Cronus to keep Neil busy while the others are trapped, but Neil convinces her that Cronus would mess things up with no more talking and no more Neil. Thus, his logic makes Echo work with him, and his friends end up freed with Cronus defeated. At the end of the episode though, Echo gently dumps Neil because he is way too obsessed with himself, and Neil is mad she dumped him before he could dump her.

In the season 1 finale, Time After Time, the gang essentially has to time travel in order to stop Cronus’ attempts to change history through time traveling in order to change the prophecy of the seven heroes who can defeat him. Neil… Doesn’t really do much. However, he does have to tell Zeus and Hades from the past that he is not an action figure for the gods. This is basically the end of Neil’s second arc. So… What now?

The first half of Season 2 houses Neil’s Deep End arc, because Neil is finding himself able to swim in the deep end and do things Neil used to be unable to conceive, but the problem is making sure he can stay above the water in the deep end. How does he start this arc? By knocking Cronus out cold! In the opening scenes of Cronus Vanquished, Neil complains about not having a weapon, with Jay realizing Neil should probably have a weapon in the middle of combat. Jay gives Neil his reflective laser shield thing before Neil complains thag is too tight on his wrist, which causes Cronus to easily spot Neil and goes to shoot him as Jay tells Neil how to turn it on, and Neil essentially pulls off a perfect parry and sends Cronus’ evil fire back at him to send him into trees before knocking him out into a big rock.

Here, everyone assumes Cronus is defeated, with Hades personally dealing with Cronus in the Underworld. Neil’s response to the seeming end of their battle with Cronus is that he can’t wait to get out of the “dump” they’ve stayed at, as he’s had enough with doing good, he just wants to get back to looking good again. But, surprise, Cronus did Cronus things and trapped Hades and Persephone in hourglasses and is currently in control of the Underworld right now! In response to this news, Neil in particular seems to be upset, as he complains about how he’ll have to unpack. However, once again, Neil puts on his brave face and serves his role once again. He does complain about how his role is as bait with Odie for the literal God of Death Thanatos, but his absolutely fantastic acting attracts Thanatos into the trap, Odie breaking a rope that causes a big tree to snap into Thanatos and send the God of Death into a pile of rocks. Neil says something of interest after their success though, as he blurts out, “Yeah, we bad!” Hm… Has… Has Neil actually developed a bond with Odie? A friendship, if you will? He might just be reacting to their success… I might be overlooking into things, or perhaps crazy, but I’ll put a bookmark on this one for now.

We get into Neil’s mind a bit in Graes Anatomy, where Odie finds the Eye, a magical thing that can show where anyone desired is. While the group is using the Eye, they are baffled about how they are right by Cronus, and it takes Neil wanting to nap on a log that he accidentally finds Cronus by leaning back into a part of rock that wasn’t actually rock. However, the group using the Eye pissed off the Graes, who the Eye belonged to until Perceus stole it and put it in some lake where the gang originally found it. As punishment, the Graes trap them in their own head, leaving them to fight their fears. Get ready everyone, because Neil’s fears are… Being bald, fat, and having acne. That… That just seems obvious. Anyways…

in Star Quality, a girl named Cassie is supposed to interview Neil due to his rising stardom. (Where does Cassie first recall seeing Neil from? A diaper commercial. In addition, Neil is currently in a fast food employee outfit during their initial conversation, as he is doing a fast food shoot when Cassie interrupts it.) This is Neil’s dream, he has always wanted this, it’s what will truly make him the star he always envisioned himself as! And yet, the entire time, Neil’s words and actions basically show everyone that he’d rather focus on this interview instead of help with the team’s SECRET mission. The way he goes about it to becomes a bit of an active hinderance to the team, as they have to spend time tracking down Cassie and destroying any possible tapes she has, this is happening while they also have to track down and fight Orion. (Orion? Like the constellation from the stars? Yeah, him.) By the end of the episode, Cassie gets her mind erased of recent events, and Neil gets super annoyed because Cassie has no clue who Neil is and won’t give him his interview. (This is also the episode where Neil says he is allergic to clothing without designer labels.)

Neil basically gets punished for his lack of care for the mission in the next episode, Forget Me Not, where the heroes attempt to traverse through the Underworld to get to Elysian Fields to meet their ancestors. Neil tries to drink from the River Lethe because he is thirsty, but Odie ingrains it in Neil’s head that the River Lethe causes forgetfulness with said forgetfulness becoming permanent if they step into the Elysian Fields, and the only cure are some flowers that cause bring back memories before one steps into the Elysian Fields. (Of course, to add on, these flowers can cause drowsiness.) As cruel fate would have it, Neil has to remember this, because he is the only one who can remember it, since the heroes AND Cronus get splashed with water from the River Lethe. The now forgetful group doesn’t take Neil’s help, because they don’t remember him, not to mention that he’s on the other side of the river. This means that he has to go through Charon, the boat guy, but he didn’t bring any money with him. However, he still has payment Charon deems suitable, so Charon will work with him. This leads to the scene of Neil begging for his friends to listen to him and take his flowers before they step into the Elysian Fields while arguing with Cronus, which is accentuated by his lack of his typical vintage shoes and silk shirt, because Charon took those as payment. After all of this, do you know what his reward is after convincing his friends to defeat Cronus? He meets Narcissus, who Neil was thoughtful enough to bring hair product for as a present, with Narcissus giving him clothes he describes as unique and asks if they are made of toe hair. This seems fair enough after last episode.

The focus on Neil basically drops before being built up to later, as he doesn’t really do anything too notable in the next episode, although he drops a wild comment in the next episode called Pandemonium about Chiron needing to watch his diet while ALL OF THE GODS ARE LITERALLY DYING. Neil drops a cool line in the next episode titled Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself by telling Theresa he wants her to take a picture of him IN Greece, not him AND Greece, and he busts it down sexual style on the dance floor with some pretty sick moves. (This scene made me laugh so hard, because not only is Neil doing the coolest dance moves in such a Neil way, but because it’s cutting between Neil dancing and a fear-stricken Archie shaking and pissing himself because he’s so scared in an alley somewhere.) He does get to show off his monster movie knowledge again though, as Neil mentions that silver can take out a werewolf, and Archie ends up using a silver medallion he bought while in Greece to slay the werewolf chasing after him and Atlanta.

Speaking of Atlanta, her and Neil have to work together in this next episode titled Cold Day In Hades, and we see probably one of the strongest examples of Neil’s good luck power. Persephone sits down in the Chair of Forgetfulness placed by Cronus while on her way back to Earth, and her capture makes her Goddess of Harvest mother Demeter so sad that she causes an intense winter on both Earth and in the Underworld. (Neil still tries to work on his tan despite it being a “little chilly” because he is a hero after all.) Once all are informed of Persephone’s disappearance, most of the group goes to find her and bring her back, while Neil and Atlanta are tasked with finding Demeter and calming her down so the snow in spring stops. Atlanta is driving the two to Demeter’s farm on a snowmobile, but she is going so fast which is making Neil scream and complain, which basically forces Atlanta to let him drive. Neil then proceeds to go really slow despite the mission at hand, until he hits the nitrous boost button, which makes the snow mobile go so fast that it crashes into a tree. However, his luck makes it so him and Atlanta are somehow completely unharmed at the cost of the snowmobile, with even Neil shocked at this turn of events. Then, once Neil and Atlanta finally find Demeter, Neil tries to work his magic. However, he was (for some reason) tasked to talk Demeter for his social skills, and he is doing nothing but making the winter more intense. Instead, Neil ends up going fast anyways because Atlanta convinces Demeter to let them borrow her flying horse chariot, and Neil literally kisses the ground beneath him once he got off of the ride. In one of his biggest tasks so far, Neil came off as an active hinderance to the mission.

For the rest of the Deep End arc, he doesn’t quite have this level of focus again, although he still has moments. In Tantalize This, Neil complains about Herry trying to save a cat because Herry got in the way of his light, later bemoaning about how cats are so self-centered without a hint of irony. In Mother Knows Best, Herry’s Granny tells Herry to be a good host and get his friends whatever they want as they are guests, with Neil using this as an excuse to make Herry get him lemonade refills while the others look at him pissed.

Neil does a good bit of varying helpfulness in the episode Applet of Discord, where the God of Discord (@everyone) Eris makes people argue with each other, Atlanta and Archie being affected by this. They come home and bother everyone, including Neil while he is reading a magazine that has him on the cover and causes him to say, “I hate when mom and dad fight, I’m out of here!” He then goes to respond to his fan mail before getting a message from Eris, which unleashes a sound that makes everyone argue with each other, but he also gets a picture of Eris to help the team plan on what to do. (The group does this while ignoring Theresa who has a vision and knows what is going on.) After finding Eris at the bell tower and working with his teammates despite Eris’ attempts to sow discord into the group, Neil drops Eris’ phone down to the bell tower floor to stop the discord, with Harmony causing everyone to be happy with Neil striking the final death blow of a hug to Eris making the Goddess of Discord go away. After not doing much notable in Bad Blood, Neil in Dreamweaver is hesitant about Cronus taking the talisman in their plan to try and trap Cronus because Cronus isn’t “street” enough to go for that bling, and he leads Archie and Atlanta in a marching jody that pokes at Jay being cranky since he is so focused about the mission and is essentially overworking everyone.

For the rest of the series, we get the Realization of Neil arc, as Neil seems to get what he is. Overall, it seems like Neil has comfortable, but perhaps too comfortable. This can lead to carelessness, and even a bit of hostility on the part of Neil, such as in the episode titled Breathtaking Beauty. Odie is texting some girl named Wendy he met up with online while at the movies, until he sees her actually in the film he is watching, with Neil laughing and revealing that he was Wendy along. Odie gets pissed, not to mention that Herry and even random moviegoers get pissed at Neil, with Odie driving off on his little moped scooter thing. Neil tries calling Odie to apologize, but Odie’s not having it, and it seems that karma would agree because Neil and Herry end up getting in a GAS STATION FIRE AFTER A GAS PUMP BLOWS UP. Once all of that is resolved, Neil finds Odie being challenged by a Sphinx (who was disguised as a hot babe) to answer a riddle, and Neil also ends up taking the challenge because he wants to show he is sorry. (Neil can’t come up with sorry himself, Odie has to say it, but Neil says that’s why Odie is the smart one.) Neil comes up with an incorrect and vain answer of good looks to the riddle, which Odie berates him for and says he’s some friend, before realizing Neil led him to the correct answer of friendship with the two making up after the Sphinx is truly defeated. Now, this! This episode is actual confirmation as to Odie and Neil being friends! Neil is probably the closest to Odie out of any of the other heroes, and with this episode, it is firmly cemented. (Go white boy, you truly made a friend!)

Of course, in typical Neil fashion, he ends up helping out Odie again in the Recipe for Disaster episode. All of the gods are behaving like old people, and this is traced to the ambrosia they are eating, which is later traced specifically to the plants involved in the honey making process being tainted evil plants by a tainted evil botanist who used to be Hercules’ friend. In the meantime, Odie has to make ambrosia, which sucks considering the main ambrosia maker Athena can’t remember the recipe. In addition, Odie overthinks things, and he ends up convincing himself that he absolutely cannot use honey not from the magical garden of the gods. However, Neil runs to the corner store and grabs some organic honey despite Odie’s repeated resistance, but it turns out that Neil’s corner store organic honey creates ambrosia that is loved by the gods and makes them all act not like old people again.

Neil steps back in terms of focus in the episode named Polyphemus Returns, acting more like the old Neil since he is quite concerned about how the heat of the volcano he is in will do to his pores, and Neil’s insists on not leaving behind his moisturizer even if he nearly gets struck by lightning by a giant. (This actually turns out to be a smart move, as he causes a giant to slip in it.) He is slightly more notable in Cronus 2.0 though, as he teams up with his best friend Odie in combat class, hitting him with a down low too slow before following Odie’s plan and set up to absolutely clown on Herry to cause him to fall out of the ring by poking him in the butt. Despite their gelling in combat class though, when Odie builds a cyborg called Cronus 2.0, he is not immune to Neil’s lack of a filter. After a close incident with Theresa, Odie assures the group that Cronus 2.0’ safeguards are fine although he needs to install some new ones, with Neil asking if the old safeguards can really be fine if new ones are needed.

You wouldn’t think an episode titled The Game Plan would be a Christmas special, but it is, and let me tell you, it is a doozy! Amongst all of the craziness though, Neil plays a pretty significant part. Neil is shopping with Jay when Jay mentions how Neil could probably get some presents for people besides himself, but Neil says he cannot help resist buying gifts for himself as he see things he “desperately” needs, basically implying that he feels more comfortable buying presents for himself since he knows himself way more than others. He then meets up with a talking goat named Almatheia who claims to have raised Zeus, dismissing the idea before admitting that he’s been through weirder things, with him coming to the realization that him causing Zeus and Almatheia to meet up again would be the perfect present. Well, it would be, but Cronus was actually the goat in disguise and ends up capturing Zeus and goading him into a game of chess where the lives of the seven heroes are on the line if they are taken out. (Guess what piece Neil is? The queen.) Neil and Jay have to find the Goddess of Good Fortune and Luck Fortuna to get Almatheia’s Cornucopia, which is obtained by playing the Wheel of Fortuna, a wacky and zany game of luck where a wheel spin can cause anything to happen! Neil spins first and he… Oh my gods. He turns into a baby and it is the cutest thing I have ever seen. (He is literally absorbed into his shirt, I can’t-) Anyways, baby Neil ends up spinning the wheel while Jay fights for his life, with Neil winning and being able to use his wish on anything he wants. Neil really stretches out his wish to bring Zeus back and end the chess game which thwarts Cronus’ evil plan, as well as getting everyone the perfect presents for everyone, although he forgets to wish for some pants after turning back from a baby and he ends up in his underwear. (For some reason, the show loves stripping down Neil of some layers…) Anyways, Fortuna is also there and awaits her present, but Neil lays into her and doesn’t have a present for her because things could have been done a lot sooner if Fortuna wasn’t so fickle about things. (And honestly, he’s right, screw you Fortuna!)

In the next episode called Like A Rolling Stone, Neil arrived late to mini golf late and apologizes, which catches people off guard because he usually never apologizes for that. I’m gonna be honest, the way they laugh this off kinda makes me feel a bit sad for Neil because of circumstances, these circumstances being revealed once Herry pours some mustard on Neil and Neil doesn’t immediately freak out. This is because this is not actually Neil, this is Sisyphus granted the power of metamorphosis by Cronus, and Neil doesn’t actually show up until later since he was conditioning his hair in the time he was supposedly eating pizza. (Neil is confirmed at the real Neil deal because Jay tries to touch Neil’s shirt, and it doesn’t even take Jay touching it for Neil to get fussy, trying to get Neil to mind the crease.) While his friends know him well enough in order to figure out the real Neil, their earlier laughing off of Impostor Neil’s apology hurts because if that was actually Neil, the poor boy’s heart would sting after that.

Following this Sisyphus metamorphosis debacle, Neil in the Cronus’ Keystroke episode looks real cool after Theresa sets him up for a spike shot in beach volleyball that makes Odie and Herry crash into each other while Neil is wearing some cool shades, but there is a minute he actually scares the rest of the group closer to the end of the episode where Neil comes out of the portal while unintentionally making people think he was Cronus coming out of the portal. Neil’s whole thing in Daedalus or Alive is that he goes to the island Odie and Herry and Jay find because he wants to stay at the beach, ultimately being distraught at the end of the episode when he cannot stay. He also makes a comment about Theresa kicking the head off of a sentient stone statue imposter of Jay because he called her Atlanta, with Neil saying a wild comment that Theresa REALLY broke up with hey boyfriend, which makes Theresa quickly fling back a comment about how Jay is NOT her boyfriend. (Heh.)

Now, this episode titled Face Off probably has the most notes on it, and for good reason. Out of all of the episodes in this show, this is probably where Neil gets the most aggressive. Then again, his territory gets encroached on this episode, so it’s understandable. Now, how exactly does Neil’s territory get encroached on in this episode? Well, after saying that his beauty is both a gift and a curse, Neil opens up a box and unknowingly releases Adonis. The appearance of the God of Beauty causes Neil to become extremely jealous as literally every girl (Including Atlanta and Theresa) starts oodling over Adonis, and his pleas for Adonis to get back in the box are ignored, not to mention that he gets ignored while trying to make a dramatic exit. (During this bit of the episode, Adonis says that he usually hunts wild boars, but Neil takes that a different way as he says that it is wrong to hunt boring people. Neil, never change. Or, wait, do change, because that’s literally what I’m writing about…) In addition, Neil becomes extra angry with Adonis this episode because he doesn’t refer to him as Neil, with Adonis calling him Ned instead. Neil also has trouble properly expressing his frustrations to others either, as Herry and his best friend Odie don’t care because they’re playing video games, and Neil bringing up Persephone just makes here start throwing herself at Adonis as well. (By the way, Persephone is married to Hades, yet this wench cannot resist Adonis.) So, using 100% of his brain power, he comes up with the idea to challenge Adonis! Adonis interprets this as a fight to the death, Neil having to quickly back up and explain that he doesn’t want a physical contest, but a beauty contest. Neil throws out all of the stops, as not only does he look good in his first strut out on the catwalk, but he tells Adonis to bring it on as he employs the use of spotlight tricks and even brings out his signature black jacket and shades on the second go around. And… He fails miserably. Everyone cringes, his score is nowhere close to that of Adonis who really only had to walk out once, and his own mentor Aphrodite shoves him off the stage to kiss Adonis and announce The God of Beauty as the winner. As Aphrodite and Persephone start fighting over Adonis, Neil is watching this by peeking behind the curtain, with his takeaway basically being that people should be fighting over him instead. In the overall course of this series, I feel so bad for Neil, as this is the second lowest point Neil gets to in this series. (We’ll get to the first lowest point later.)

Neil’s comment in Tantalize This about how cats are self-centered carries more weight than I thought, because it just seems like a joke comment, but it actually helps reveal the psychology of Neil. The hilarity of the comment comes from the irony of how cats and Neil are both self-centered, which means that Neil is kind of like a cat. (I… Kind of want to see that fanart now.) Extending this metaphor further, much like cats, Neil can often be so greedy for attention. When he doesn’t receive this attention, he can become aggressive towards those not giving him attention or stealing the attention, but he can also become distraught. How does his life continue without the attention?

The rest of this episode focuses on Envy’s appearance, as the amount of envy generated by this situation attracts her, and she ends up trying to shoot Neil with her envy beam. Key word: trying. Instead of Neil getting shot, Adonis pulls a “GET DOWN, MISTER PRESIDENT!” and takes the beam instead. One problem: This makes Adonis hellbent on killing Neil. Neil starts scurrying as the chase begins, and Neil can initially outsmart Adonis with some cool reversals, but Adonis ends up catching Neil in the library. Neil ends up pinned on a statue by Adonis as he starts to admit that Adonis is the fairest one of them all, but after seeing himself in a mirror, Neil stops himself because that simply cannot be true. After the other heroes trap Envy back in Pandora’s Box, the episode ends with Adonis apologizing to Ned for nearly shooting him with his bow and arrow, and Neil finally begrudgingly overlooks the incorrect name and accepts the apology.

We don’t have much of the series left, which unfortunately means not much Neil left, so let’s get a move on! In the episode titled The Deep End- Hey, what the hell! I’m already using that name for Neil’s third arc, get a new name! What? That can’t be changed? Well, alright, I’ll ignore it… In The Deep End episode, mostly everyone (Except poor little Archie who is afraid of water) is enjoying their day out on the water, and they all start playing water polo a bit out of nowhere. This catches Neil off guard because he doesn’t know what the teams are, and his best friend Odie informs him he is the goalie of the team with Odie and Jay, before the team of Atlanta and Herry and Theresa subsequently score on them. Neil’s totally healthy response to Odie not informing him of this soon enough is to deke Odie in the back of the head with the water polo ball. (This isn’t addressed again in the episode, Neil gets away with this major friendly fire.) He also later teases Archie for accepting Atlanta’s swimming lessons and says that Archie’s fear of water is not as big as his crush on Atlanta, and despite being too busy tanning to go diving with the rest of the group, Neil gets fussy about there being no pictures of him on the dive camera.

Considering we’re now on the episode before the finale, along with how Neil centric Face Off was not too long ago, I didn’t think we’d get much Neil focus again. But… Oh boy. Would I be wrong. So TERRIBLY wrong! In fact, honestly, Golden Boy is probably the best Neil episode. However, this is only really worth it with all of the buildup we have had so far. At the beginning of the episode, the group notices Neil trying to pick up a girl by asking her to go be beautiful together, laughing amongst themselves about how that girl has no clue how vain Neil truly is. Shockingly though, with his unspoken rizz, Neil actually convinces the girl to go on a date with him. However, the girl quickly ends up leaving the date upset, because Neil is constantly talking about herself and dismissing her in the process. Neil gives himself a not so helpful affirmation that, if he really did talk to himself, he’d look stupid. Neil is then shown taking a depressed walk, and while realizing he does talk to himself and driving himself mad over it, he is giving off lowkey incel vibes by asking why no girl ever really wants. (I do hate the lowkey incel vibes this scene gives off, but it makes sense with the context of this scene, and it is admittedly a bit funny and pointed that such a self-centered character is the best incel representation.) Nemesis then shows up and tells him to shut up, before then cursing him with The Midas Touch, as he is such a golden boy. In typical Neil fashion, he of course sees this as a benefit at first, before then telling Nemesis he can’t exactly use a phone made out of gold. But then, it sinks in for Neil that everything he touches turns into gold, and he then freaks out and calls out for Nemesis and asks what he did wrong while having no self-awareness.

Neil’s not heard the end of it however, because his date and later interaction with the God of Justice has made Neil do the one thing he has always done, and that is be late. This extra sucks considering the group has a super important mission, a mission where the group could actually defeat and take out Cronus for good, and Atlanta is sent to pick Neil up with her super speed. All the way from the place where Atlanta picks Neil up to the docks where the mission is going down, Neil is trying to explain his situation, but Atlanta is just chewing him out the entire time because he’s always late and self-centered. This causes Neil to acquire depression, and in the process, he messes up with his task on a really big mission once again. He turns a boat to gold, which is causing mayhem with the other boats, alerting Cronus of the heroes’ presence and ruining the element of surprise. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention: He also ends up turning Atlanta, Herry, and his best friend Odie into gold. Everyone is pissed at him, Cronus dismisses him off as a golden boy, and Neil runs away.

Neil ends up at the park, complaining about how it’s not fair that narcissism is literally in his veins due to his ancestry, before sarcastically remarking that he is like a mutant superhero named Golden Boy that people need to be saved from. He then spots a fountain and turns it to gold, before then hopping into the fountain, then turning the fountain water into bars to make himself a makeshift cell. This, right here, is Neil’s lowest point. His friends hate him, Cronus could very likely take power because of his mistakes, and he can’t even deflect by being narcissistic. In his moment of self-conviction, things are made even worse when the rest of the group decides it’s more important to find Cronus instead of Neil, making Neil truly feel all alone. (This… Wow, this entire scene just makes me feel so sad.) However, without his knowledge, Nemesis is watching this go down on a park bench. Then, he gets a smart idea to ask for Zeus to reverse The Midas Touch, before breaking out of the cell he made for himself. (Even Neil is surprised on how the gold is shocking soft.) Zeus then tells Neil he cannot reverse another god’s will, but instead, he should use the Midas Touch to his advantage.

Jay. Archie, and Theresa are trying to fight Cronus on their own. However, they don’t have the power to defeat him just on their own, and it looks like Cronus is gonna take them out. However, like “Stone Cold” Steve Austin running in to help Mankind win the WWF World Championship, Neil makes his entrance to save the day. He unironically calls himself Golden Boy and fully owns up to the nickname he has been tormented by this episode, and while his friends are just so shocked and honestly cringing a little bit, Cronus explains to Neil that he was mocking himself with that nickname because he assumes Neil is being just idiotic. Cronus doesn’t know what he’s getting into though, as Neil ends up turning Cronus to gold like a boss, and ends up calling Cronus pretty arrogant. Nemesis has seen enough, as she reverses the curse which turns everything and everyone Neil turned into gold back to normal, Nemesis believing that there is still hope for Neil. (Cronus really tries to claim he reversed the effects of The Midas Touch before Nemesis has to tell Cronus that she reversed the curse.) At the end of the episode, thanks to Neil’s actions, Cronus is defeated for now. This is the payoff I’ve been waiting for, and despite constantly blowing it and having a massive curse placed on him, Neil proves that he has truly changed enough and that he is truly a hero.

It’s now time for the series finale, and since it’s all hands on deck, Neil gets some good moments before we have to say goodbye to him. Neil gets woken up by a purple ghost thing, when he realizes that the purple ghost thing broke his mirror in his bedroom, which causes him to wail about it. (Side note, Neil immediately crying about a mirror of his getting broken is my favorite running gag.) While Odie and Hephaestus wonder how they are going to defeat the purple ghost thing, Neil does his Neil thing and his best friend Odie uses some big words to essentially describe a ghostbusting gun, with Neil not even realizing how he inspired the ghostbusting gun. Neil is hesitant about the ghostbusting gun, but his best friend Odie offers to let him use it, and Neil is immediately on board considering he gets to deliver cheesy one liners while using it. Jay asks if Theresa can sense Cronus, and Theresa says she can practically smell him, with Neil responding with “That’s just gross.” Later on during the big bad boss fight, literally everyone is getting in the way of Neil’s shot, with Neil understandably complaining about it. When he finally lines up a shot, Neil nearly blows the mission again, but Jay tells Neil to shoot the purple ghost thingy and not Theresa.

However, the cherry on top is my final note on Neil, and it wraps everything so nicely to me. So, at the end of the big fight, Theresa dies. Theresa is dead. She’s gone. Everyone is sad. Especially Jay. Jay never got to tell her the words he wanted to say. He loves her. He goes up to her. He holds her. He starts to cry. Tears fall down his face. They fall onto Theresa. Theresa… Wakes up. She’s alive again. Everyone is unsadified. Everything seems right again. And, before another situation pops up and it is too late to tell each other what the wanted to say, Theresa and Jay exchange a kiss. And… You know what Neil does? HE TELLS BOTH OF THEM TO GET A ROOM AFTER ALL OF THE SHIT THAT HAS JUST GONE DOWN! Gods, I love Neil. He has obviously changed significantly from his original appearance, but he’s still Neil at the end of the day, which I appreciate.

Obviously, I prefer Season 2 Neil over Season 1 Neil, he got more of a chance to improve and evolve and I got more invested into him because of that. Admittedly, while I am overall sad that the show didn’t get another season due to low viewership in the United States, I am also sad because we don’t get more of Neil. In a third season, I imagine he has storylines along the lines of one where he actually makes a friend that isn’t one of the heroes with that friend then turning out to be bad and/or a monster working for Cronus, or maybe one where him and Odie’s friendship is explored more. I am still very happy with the rollercoaster I got on by watching this show too, and after reading this and finally making it to the end of this extremely long post, I hope you did too.

[deeisace]

..

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

Ok so uh just to clear up my tags from yesterday bc i overthink everything & don't want ppl to get the wrong idea fjhdhg; when i say "liking/hating things the wrong way" i mostly mean having bigoted reasons for opinions or being a dick about them or being weirdly performative with/invested in fictional activism (and those same ppl tend to be the ones who make dragon age opinions a morality race smh).

And overall of course everyone is entitled to simply Not Like a character! And there is lots of valid criticism that i might even agree with! But i am also entitled to blocking ppl who are being overly negative about them; not because you're not allowed to do that or because you're wrong, but bc i like to curate my fandom experience and not going insane bc of constant discourse. Highly recommend doing that btw; blacklists are there for a reason and your mental health is important✌

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

Images of despair [stellaris version]

[rowenabean]

So I have been really actually doing better this last week, which is absolutely lovely, and two things that I have noticed:

It's much simpler now. It's really nice to have a phone call with a friend and just be like "nice phone call that we can both enjoy" instead of being like "does she actually like talking to me is she just doing this because I'm asking for it is she just pitying me". That's an exhausting way to be!

And then the corollary to that is that it actually is easier for me to be interesting! Because I'm not stressing about three levels of anxiety about the conversation I can relax into just chatting and it's much less of an effort! It's a terrible catch-22 but I actually am a less boring person now!

[neverendingford]

.

[monstersholygrail]

I am such a nuzzler (I’m severely touched starved). But I just love me a good nuzzle with some sweet cuddling and maybe a bit more than that.

Imagine Werewolf bf who welcomes and encourages your clingy behavior and all the nuzzling that comes with it. Not only because he loves the attention but because he is just as obsessed with you as you are him.

You get this sort of shy look in your eye when the urge arrives and Werewolf bf notices it instantly. His arms move on their own as they spread out wide. Allowing you to immediately dive into his embrace. Nuzzling your way up his furry body till you burrow into his chest.

Loud purrs emanate from Werewolf bfs chest as his arms move to wrap around you, practically squishing you to his chest. You both adore the hard secure touch of each other’s hold. His purrs only growing louder as you move up and nuzzle into his neck, nosing brushing along his marking spot.

His cock can help but harden whenever you do this. It’s his instant weakness. The idea of you two marking each other. Of being bound and getting these cuddles for the rest of your life. It sounds like heaven to him.

And of course when you’re cuddling with a Werewolf bf, cuddling doesn’t stay cuddling for long. With your delicious shapely body pressed so tightly against him, he can’t be blamed for his actions that follow.

As you two continue to squirm against each other, practically wanting to crawl into each other’s skin, it’s simply not Werewolf bfs fault that his erection just so happens to grind into your lovely pussy. He can feel the growing dampness through your panties and he growls out his approval. Always so wet for him you are.

The whine that leaves you vibrates through his skin, only serving to make Werewolf bf even harder. His hands never leave their place around your body, not even as they slide down and so gently push your panties off to the side. He wouldn’t dare take his hands off of you when in need of such closeness.

Making sure to maintain your cuddles while he rolls his cock easily inside your addictive wet heat. Werewolf bf tightens his hold on you to the point where you can barely move as he starts moving your bodies in a steady rhythm.

Your bodies rocking together as noises of pleasure fall from your lips and spill right into each other’s skin. Not an inch of space between you and neither of you would have it any other way. Werewolf bf’s claws scratch along your back and you cry out, toes curling at the added sensation.

Burying your hands in his fur you move as best you can, eagerly sucking his cock back inside you with every thrust. Wanting all of him as close to you as possible. Rough grunts leave your bf as his pace picks up, fulfilling your need as he does all the others.

Werewolf bf keeps his grip firm but gives you the room to move faster and meet the snap of his hips. You immediately jump at the chance, drool dripping onto his fur as you bounce sloppily on his huge girth. Wanting to feel just how roughly he can split you open and stretch your weeping cunt.

As you both move together it doesn’t take long for you both to explode, clenching down on his length and milking his cock for all it’s worth as he shoots spurt after spurt of hot cum deep inside your walls. Werewolf bf shivers in return, his body buzzing as your essence coats his member and your walls stay firmly implanted around him.

Your limp form sags happily back into his chest. Nipping playfully at his neck and resulting in Werewolf bf’s cock twitching inside you as he snaps his jaw at your neck in retaliation. You laugh lightly, nuzzling back into him, glad to be even closer to him as his softening cock stays inside you.

Werewolf bf moves his hands up and down your back and over your body, caressing every inch of you. Loving how your body trembles and leans into it in response.

Yeah, Werewolf bf wouldn’t give up your nuzzles and clingy behavior for anything. He’s got everything he needs right here.