#and i am so going to hell for how quick my brain took the sound out of context x_x

[willsimpforanyone]

Thinking about how Percy Jackson would react if his shy girlfriend is a totally freak on bed with him,like she makes HIM,Percy Ego Jackson,whimper like a little bitch and he is so shocked.

also now thinking about this like men whimpering first of all is my shit

men who don't expect themselves to whimper and then their partner does something and they can't help but let out this pathetic, whiney little noise???!??!??!?!?

percy 'saved the world 5 times by the time he was 16' jackson is 100% a whimpery submissive, no one would ever guess because he has the 'she ordered no pickles' energy when y'all are out and about but all you have to do is push him onto the bed with a smirk and he's all puppy-dog-eyed looking up at you with his lips already parted, breathing a little hard and feeling like his jeans are too restrictive already

[lunaviee]

can i request where reader cant go to their match and they got angry which makes them say the word "i shouldve invite *ex's name*, she wouldve come." and reader reaction can be up to you! with rin and maybe chigiri? thank you so much and please stay hydrate! sending loves <33

OHHH MYYY GODDD ANONNN……..

the way i gasped so loud when i saw this OMGOMG

okay so, idk if you’re wanting PURE ANGST for this but like i’ll add fluff at the end anyway bc the more the merrier😇😁😁

OKAY SO UMM..i’m a procrastinator, it’s no secret. so uhh chigiris will be posted when i remember to work on it, sorry😭

“are you serious?” “you’re..kidding, right?”

chigiri hyoma and rin itoshi x reader (seperate) click here for chigiri’s

tags/warnings: angst to comfort, swearing, arguing, NOT PROOFREAD…

synopsis: if he’s so insistent on you being there to support him, why doesn’t he do the same?

a/n: i am SO SORRY this took so long </3 i got busy but this request is soo..chefs kiss i hope i did it justice😓

RIN ITOSHI—

the faint mumbles from the tv filled rin’s apartment as you made a quick snack to eat, knowing your boyfriend should be home any minute. you sat down on the couch to eat, turning the tv volume up as background noise while you looked out the window. it faced a gorgeous view of your city, along with a nice view of the sunset.

after some time, you were back in the kitchen to clean up a bit.

*click*

the jingling of keys indicated rin was home, a tad later that usual but you payed no mind to it.

“hey,” you smiled, “welcome home, how was practice?” arms wrapping around his neck as he set his bag down, taking his shoes off. his arm snaked around your waist to pull you closer to him, planting a kiss on your temple.

“eh, same as always. those lukewarm lunatics don’t know what they’re doing”

you hummed in response, rin pulling away from you to look you in the eye. he spoke again. “we have a game in a few days. you’re going, right?” it sounded more like a demand than a question.

“oh uh about that” you broke eye contact, a twinge of nervousness tainted your face. “i was given an extra shift at work so i’ll be swamped, i don’t think i’ll be able to make it, sorry”

his before softened gaze now pierced right through you, full of annoyance. “really? i thought you’d want to come to my games.” his arms left your torso and flopped to his side, lower back resting on the counter.

“i do! i always do..rin you know this, i go to your games when i can but lately i’ve just been more busy an-” you rambled.

he cut you off, “quit the excuses.”

“excuse me?” you replied, shocked at how his silver tongue was so quick to interrupt you.

“i get it. you’re busy. you don’t have to make up these half-baked excuses and try to make me feel better.” he moved from the counter, straightening his back and showing his full height, looking down on you as if you were less than him at that moment.

“excuses? rin, what the hell are you talking about? i’m being serious.” confusion swirled in your mind, what was up with him??

“you know, i never had these problems with *ex’s name*. she was always happy to come to my games. no excuses, no lies. every game, she was there. why can’t you be like that?” rin’s venom stained words singed into your brain, glints of annoyance pooled in his eyes. a twinge of guilt settled in his gut the minute those words spilled out of his mouth, but he payed no mind to it.

“what?” your eyes widened in disbelief, “are you fucking serious?”

how could he say that? sure, rin was petty and used bitter language when he was upset, but comparing you to his ex? that was a new low, even for him. after all of the crap you two talked about when mentioning both of your exes in the past, you’d assume he’d want absolutely nothing to do with her. right?

“why wouldn’t i be?” not once did his gaze leave your figure, was he serious? “she actually took my career seriously.”

you were beyond shocked, eyes narrowing as your brows knitted together. “invite her then.” you retorted. “maybe i will, maybe then i’ll have someone who actually supports me there.” he scoffed.

his words made your blood boil, eye twitching before you spoke again, “get out.” you gritted through your teeth, fingers fiddling with the hem of your (his) sweater as to not lose your cool.

“what?” he scoffed, not expecting such a response (he really should have, what was he thinking??)

“did i fucking stutter? or is your skull too thick to hear what i have to say. get. out.”

the strikers face further scrunched, yet not moving an inch. “this is my apartment. if you’re upset, then leave.” he brushed past you without a single regret as to what he had said, not entirely believing you’d actually leave, where else did you have to go?

“fine then.” you slipped your shoes on while dialing a number on your phone before slamming the door, leaving the rin to sit with his thoughts. you had much, much more to say, but the thought of having to stay in the same vicinity as you made your stomach churn.

who did you call? why, your best friend of course, who else would you trust with this information. sure, rin’s teammates weren’t bad people to open up to, but you needed someone who could understand your feelings through angry sobs and incoherent mumbles.

it was only a matter of time before you were sat on yours friends bed, angry tears burning your cheeks as you rambled on about how dumb your boyfriend was.

“break up with him” your friend mumbled, only half joking. “me personally, i wouldn’t stay with a man, nah, a BOY who brings up his ex when he’s mad..”

you lifted your head from the tear stained pillow to meet your friend’s gaze. “yeah but……ugh i hate when you’re right” your sentence ending with a laugh

“i’m kidding..kind of” she sneered “either way, screw him, ghost his ass until he comes crying at your doorstep”

“what??” you shot up from your position, now almost on top of your friend. she was faced you, a more serious expression painting her face

“seriously though, you shouldn’t have to deal with that shit [n/n], he has the be the one to apologize.” you nodded in response, good thing your friend had a bit more common sense than you did in that moment.

“yeah, you’re right, thanks”

“any time, now do you wanna stay here or are you good to go home?”

“i’ll stay here and bug you more”

“okay then” she laughed out, the two of you now laying on the bed on your backs, staring at the ceiling

• { time skip - two days later } •

the radio silence that came from rin was like torture, did he not care? not a single text or phone call, not even a message given from one of his teammates. it was hard to stay positive.

sure, he deserved the silent treatment, but he was your boyfriend. his company single-handedly made your days better. being separated because of a fight that he didn’t want to resolve was stupid.

your friend tried taking you out today to get your mind off of the situation. it was going well, up until you walked into your favorite cafe.

you were met with a face you were too familiar with. rin’s. his eyes widened in disbelief and he twitched, almost as if he was about to run after you. and so you and your friend took one good look at him and immediately left. if the argument was going to be resolved, it wasn’t going to be in a public cafe.

your friend pushed you by the shoulders as you both shuffled out of the doors, you pulling out your phone to find another place to go to at the same time.

“shit.” was the only thing that rin had managed to mutter out as he saw the two of you running away from the cafe. it’s not that he wanted to avoid you. it’s that he was ashamed. he was scared that nothing he would say would amount to enough of an apology for what he said.

rin was scared that this was the end of you two. his worst fears of losing the one person he knew loved and understood him were coming true and is was his fault. the past few days were filled with doubt and regret, his teammates even noticing his practices were depleting.

the rest of the day came and went, your friend dropped you off back at your apartment where you collapsed on the couch, left with your thoughts once again. you were about to just pass out on your couch and ditch work the next morning, like you have been for the past few days.

that was until you heard a frantic knock on your door, jolting you awake. your worried expression dropped to one of annoyance and bitterness; it was rin. but, he looked different. his usually blank expression was now one of exhaustion and hurt.

he’d been..crying?

your eyes widened in confusion, you opened your mouth to tell him to leave before he cut you off.

“i’m sorry” he blurted out

he was looking down to you, except it was much different than before. rin looked desperate, his eye contact only further confirmed it.

he reached his hand out to place it on your shoulder, hesitating. you opened the door to let him in, sitting on the edge of your couch next to each other.

“i’m so sorry [name].”

“i know.”

“it was stupid, you mean so much to me and i..i ruined it.”

“i know.”

“please, you don’t need to forgive me now i just…”

he paused. rin’s head moved to look at the ground.

“i just need to know you won’t leave me. you can ignore me for as long as you’d like and i’d understand. but just…please i need you back” he begged, small tears brimming at his eyes, what a rare sight to see.

silence fell between the two of you, but it wasn’t like the comfortable silences you’ve shared before. it was tense and awkward.

“okay” your voice was barely above a whisper, “i won’t leave you, i think we both know that” you say with a smile.

rin looked back up at you, eyes wide, full of hope and relief.

“but listen i…” the moonlight only further highlighted just how much the two of you had been crying

“it’s gonna take some time. that was really fucked up, you know that?”

“yeah..yeah i know. i’m sorry. you’re nothing like her i-”

“i know.”

the two of you were now looking at each other, faces flushed from crying and relief. the silence was comfortable again.

“let’s just..go to sleep, yeah? we can talk about it in the morning, i think we both could discuss better afterwards” you offered, leaning closer to the armrest of your couch as you were too tired to go to your bed

rin hummed back in response, laying on your chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist. your hands found their way to his hair, heartbeats practically synchronizing.

“you know..i’m still not going to your game” you whispered, peeking one eye open to watch your boyfriend. he smiled, “i know” a laugh spilled out of his mouth before you both fell asleep.

[bella-rose29]

Deck the Halls (and not your partner) - part 4

Christmas Eve, and the day of the party.

once again I maintain the idea that lockwood has his tea as a Cameron special (for absolutely no reason, they've just merged into one being in my mind)

Word count: 3.2k

Warnings: swearing, family members being mean, lockwood never put his pyjamas back on, I should mention now that they're 18 for plot and ethical reasons, mentions of body image issues, innuendos?

series master list

(image credit to @sxnflowersa_tv on pinterest)

When Y/n woke up the next morning, her first thought was that she was cold.

Her second was that she was in a double bed and not her usual tiny single in Portland Row, and the third was panic at seeing her boss shirtless.

Lockwood's blanket had slipped at some point in the night, and so when she sat up and stretched she was met with the sight of him sleeping soundly in the armchair, his pyjamas folded neatly on the small table next to him. How he wasn't freezing to death she wasn't sure, but then Lockwood had never made sense to her. One minute he was all smiles and charm and then the next he was saying something completely opposite into her ear, and she was left to figure out which version was the real Lockwood.

Today would be difficult, and they had to come to some sort of understanding if they were going to survive the hell that they would soon be entering.

Lockwood didn't look comfortable at all, with his neck at an odd angle and his legs curled up underneath him (he was bound to get pins and needles when he woke up), and Y/n felt the smallest pang of pity before a knock sounded on the bedroom door.

"Are you two awake?" Her mother questioned, likely wanting to know if they wanted tea. Y/n clambered out of bed and leaned against the door.

"Uh, I am," she whispered. "Lock- Anthony's still asleep."

"Right, well do you think he'll want a cup of tea? I'm heading down to make a pot now."

"Oh, yeah. He has it weird though, with sugar and honey."

"I'll pop those on the tray, then, and he can put in what he wants."

"Thanks Mum." She heard her mother shuffle and head down the stairs, knees clicking as she went, and turned back to look at her fake boyfriend. "Fuck," she said, a horrible realisation dawning on her. Lockwood couldn't be in the armchair when her mother brought in the tea, or she'd wonder if they'd had an argument. Walking over, she gave his arm a quick prod.

No response.

She tried again, harder this time, and when he stirred a little she cheered internally. "Lockwood?" she whisper-shouted, giving him a proper shove.

"What? What is it?" He was bolt upright almost immediately, scanning for any signs of danger and reaching for Y/n. "Is everything alright?"

"Uh... yes," she said slowly. "Mum's making tea, and when she brings it in you can't be in the chair or she'll have questions." She stared down at his hand where it was grabbing her pyjama top (an old oversized t-shirt), his knuckles white. "You... you can let go of me now, Lockwood."

"Oh. Right." He retracted his hand, but not before letting it hover in the space between them for a few seconds. He stood up, the blanket falling, and Y/n immediately turned around.

"Why are you naked?!"

"I am not! I got hot in the night so I took my pyjamas off! I still have my pants on, thank you very much!"

"Well put your pyjamas back on!" she shrieked, pressing her hands over her face (despite still having her back to him) and desperately hoping she could delete the image from her brain. She had thought he'd only taken his top off, but since he wore matching pyjamas the pile of clothes on the table had looked like one thing, not two. She could hear him hopping around while he attempted to quickly pull his trousers on, and after a minute or so he cleared his throat.

"Alright, I'm dressed." Y/n turned around slowly, scared that he was joking, and sighed in relief when she realised that he wasn't. "Such a drama queen," he muttered under his breath, clearly not wanting her to hear as he looked to his left with a red face.

"I am not a drama queen, Lockwood. If anybody is the drama queen it's you. Now get in the bed." She pointed at it, glare on her face.

"If you wanted me to sleep with you you could have let me do that last night," he smirked, and she threw a decorative pillow at him.

"Just get in the bed, Lockwood." She went to grab a second pillow when he wriggled his eyebrows at her, and he quickly stopped and pulled back the covers. When he was finally settled she climbed in next to him.

"Y/n."

"What?"

"You should probably come a bit closer." He wasn't wrong, since they were as far away from each other as they could get, but she stubbornly refused to cosy up to him when she didn't need to just yet.

"Hang on." She'd spotted the blanket still crumpled on the floor, and hurried to pick it up just as she heard her mother coming up the stairs. Chucking it over the armchair she rushed back to the bed, pulling the duvet over her just as the door opened.

"Fuck's sake, come here," Lockwood whispered, harshly tugging on her arm and then wrapping his arm around her waist. "Ah, good morning, Emma!"

"Morning! Just got some tea for you here," she put the tray down on Y/n's bedside table and paused for a moment as she took in the two of them in the bed. "How did you sleep? Hopefully you feel rested enough for today?"

"Oh I slept beautifully, thank you." Lockwood beamed up at Emma, and Y/n wondered if she knew that his fingers were stroking the skin of her stomach under her top where it had ridden up.

"I'm glad to hear it! Well, I'll leave you to it!" They both smiled until Y/n's mother was out of the room, but as soon as the door clicked shut behind her they shot away from each other.

"I hope we never have to do that again."

"We'll have to do it tomorrow morning, darling."

"Nobody else is here, you don't need to keep calling me that."

"Ah, yes. Sorry, Schmoopie."

"I hate you. I'm going to poison your tea." She was getting the mugs ready now, adding extra honey to one and pouring in the water over the tea bags.

"And I will happily drink it."

A few minutes later (she'd had to let the tea stew for a bit) she poured in the milk and handed over his mug.

"Did you add in the sugar?"

"Yep."

"And the honey?"

"You watched me do it, Lockwood."

"Right, yes. I did." He was quiet for a moment, staring into the contents of his mug. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she replied, mild shock running through her at the sincerity of his gratitude.

They drank their tea in silence.

~~~

"So, just to recap, there are around fifty people coming over today?"

"Yep," Y/n said through a mouthful of cereal. "All extended family members and close family friends and their families. I've been thinking about it, and as much as it pains me to say it I think... ugh," she scowled into her bowl. "I think you're right abo-"

"Ha! Finally! I got you to say it! About what?"

"If you'd let me finish, you would know, idiot."

"Oh, yes. Sorry."

"I think you're right about needing to do a big speech to everyone all in one go about..." she gestured between the two of them vaguely, "us."

"Ah. Yes, it would save a lot of time, wouldn't it?"

"Hm, it would. And then we only have to remember things once really."

"Remind me again what the story was?" They were sat in the kitchen, the only ones up other than Y/n's mother (who was upstairs getting things ready).

"What was 8 months ago?"

"Why 8 months?" Lockwood frowned over his second mug of tea that morning.

"Because that's what I told Steph last night."

"Oh. Uh, April I think? There was that one job we went on in March, just the two of us. We could stick pretty close to the truth then if we used that as a death scare that made you realise that you couldn't possibly live without me."

"Wasn't the story that you realised you were hopelessly in love with me one day and asked me out, but I refused multiple times until eventually I gave in to get you to shut up?"

"Well, yes. But I just think that- morning, Stephanie." His smile was clearly forced, and Y/n realised with a start that she was beginning to be able to tell which of his smiles were real.

"Morning you two. Hopefully you didn't get too frisky last night after that adorable kiss under the mistletoe!"

"No, we-"

"Well, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, Stephanie," Lockwood smirked, and Y/n rolled her eyes at his interruption. Her cousin was lapping it up, and after a few minutes the kitchen was filled with various members of Y/n's family as they all filed in, bleary eyed and reaching for tea and coffee. They would have to figure out their story while they got ready for the party, since they definitely couldn't get details straight with so many people in the room.

"Morning, Squeak," her brother Will murmured as he sat on a stool next to her at the counter. Y/n scoffed at the nickname, but there was nothing resentful behind it. "Sleep alright?"

"Yeah, did you?" He nodded in response as he started shovelling mouthfuls of cereal in, the bowl nearly spilling over with the amount of food in it.

"Lover boy didn't give you too much grief last night, did he?"

"No, he was alright."

"Hey, if you need a break at any point today come and find me, yeah? I'll fend off any inquisitive relatives."

"Thanks, Will." He was only a couple of years older than her, being the third youngest of her brothers, but Will liked to act as though he was the oldest of all of the L/n siblings. In fairness Tom was eleven and Sam and John who were thirty and twenty-eight respectively were rarely home or in contact with her, and she didn't have as much of a bond with them. Olivia was a year younger than Y/n, but since they had shared a room growing up they had fought consistently over the years about completely irrelevant things and barely talked outside of gatherings.

"Anytime. I think me and the boys were gonna take your lover boy away at some point to give him the proper talk, so if you can't find any of us later that'll be why."

"Please stop calling him 'lover boy', Will," she grimaced, not noticing Lockwood come up behind her.

"But I am your lover boy, darling." She whipped her head around to see Lockwood leaning against the counter next to her with a soft smile.

Weird. She'd thought he would be smirking instead.

Will snorted, then tipped his bowl up to drink the last of the milk. "You two," he said after he'd finished, "are quite possibly the most sickening thing I have ever seen."

~~~

"Is a suit too much, do you think?"

"Maybe leave the tie," Y/n called out from the bathroom where she was getting changed. She had long since pulled on the burgundy dress, but not knowing when Lockwood would be in a state where she could walk out meant that she had spent the last five minutes staring at her reflection in the mirror. She was absolutely certain that multiple people would make comments about her figure, or compare her to Stephanie, or both, and she was dreading leaving the bathroom. Then there would be the comments about her job, and how being an agent was a terrible choice and she should have gone into full-time education instead.

"Y/n? You can come out when you're ready."

She sighed shakily, taking one last look at herself in the mirror above the sink before unlocking the door and stepping out.

Lockwood was in one of his usual suits, pink socks poking out from under his trousers, and he was just sorting out his cuffs when he looked up and froze. When he still didn't say anything Y/n's mind started racing ahead to all the different possibilities.

"I look awful, don't I? I'll get my jeans and jumper and get changed, give me a minute."

"No!" Lockwood shouted, his arms outstretched. He hesitated, then spoke again, and his voice was back to how it sounded when he was being an arse. "No, don't do that, just... you look fine like that and we'll be late if you get changed now."

"Oh. Alright." She frowned, wrapping her arms around her midriff as she inspected Lockwood's outfit. "Wait, don't move," she called out when he went to move. Y/n walked over to him, then reached up to straighten out his collar. It had been sticking up, so she smoothed her hands over it to right it, letting them linger on his chest afterwards. He wasn't moving, and she was quite sure that he wasn't breathing either, and when she looked up at him she realised that she was holding her breath too.

They hadn't been this close since they kissed the night before, and then they'd had an audience.

Now it was just the two of them, alone in the room.

"Y/n?" Lockwood asked, his voice slightly hoarse.

"Yeah?" Had his face moved closer? Suddenly she could make out the individual colours in his eyes and was able to count the freckles on his cheeks. He licked his lips, tilting his head slightly to brush his nose against hers, and she felt her eyes fluttering closed.

"Are you two nearly ready? Emma needs help getting food and things ready for the guests!" A loud knock accompanied the shrill voice of Y/n's Aunt Linda, and the pair of them sprang apart, clearing their throats and avoiding eye contact. Y/n marched over to the door and wrenched it open, plastering a smile on her warm face.

"We're ready! Anthony? You coming?"

"Yeah, just... I'll be down in a minute, darling. I just need to use the loo." He flashed the two women a smile, then disappeared into the en-suite. Y/n could have killed him for leaving her alone, but maybe that was for the best given what had just happened.

"Come on then," Linda said, and ushered her downstairs.

~~~

Everyone was busy doing something, and everything was in complete chaos.

"Oh, that can go over there. Tom, don't put that in your mouth, please. No, over there, Ben. Tom! Not in your mouth! You're eleven, this shouldn't be difficult! Boys, please stop mucking about and do something useful! Over there- oh for god's sake, give it here!" Y/n's mother snatched a plate of food away from her husband, rushing between the kitchen and the dining room that was through the open double doors off to the side. The whole area would be brimming with guests in less than thirty minutes, and things were still being put out. "Oh, you're here, that's perfect. Where's Anthony? Never mind, no time. Here, you can put this next to the thingy there!" Luckily Y/n had grown up with her mother's distracted way of talking and knew exactly what she meant, taking the opportunity to run away from Linda.

The next ten minutes followed the same pattern of being handed things and told to put them in various spots on the table, and Lockwood was nowhere to be seen for any of it. Y/n was starting to worry that he'd flushed his skinny beanpole of a frame down the toilet.

"Where's your boyfriend, Y/n?" Stephanie asked, sidling up in a stunning silver dress that looked as though it had been painted on her.

"In the toilet. Are you gonna help, Steph?"

"Oh, you're... wearing that again?" she asked, ignoring Y/n's tired request for help. "Didn't you wear that last year? You've put on a bit of weight since then, haven't you!" She let out a laugh, and Y/n brought her arms around her stomach self-consciously for the second time since putting on the dress. Maybe she should have ignored Lockwood and got changed anyway. At least then when people complained about her outfit she'd be more comfortable in her own body. "Well, personally I think you should get it let out a little, Y/n. You do look awfully-"

"Beautiful?" a voice questioned from Y/n's right, and after a second someone else's arms were around her waist, pulling her back against a warm chest. "She does look stunning, doesn't she?"

"Anthony," Y/n breathed when he spun her around to face him, his hands holding hers tightly. He was smiling one of those private smiles reserved for the people he cared about, small and gentle, and her heart jumped in her chest.

"I... I suppose," Stephanie said, sounding confused. It was so typical of her to not think of her cousin as anything other than a way to make herself look better. Y/n barely noticed when her cousin drifted off, or when her brother picked up his camera and took a photo of the two of them framed by the lights that had been draped over the doorframe, since all she could focus on was the feel of her hands being held by Lockwood and the way he was looking at her.

"Aww, aren't they just adorable!" Y/n's grandmother Jean said loudly, catching the attention of everybody nearby. Apparently half of the guests had arrived on time (of course the one time that happened was the time she had to pull off a huge fake dating stunt), because the kitchen and dining room were packed with people. Murmurs of assent travelled around, and Y/n could hear a few people questioning who the tall young man next to her was, and suddenly her heart was plummeting rather than jumping, and she felt sick.

"Hey," Lockwood whispered, still smiling at her. "We can do this, alright? It's only today and most of tomorrow, and then we're back in London. It's really not that long when you think about it."

He needed to stop being nice to her, because it was freaking her out.

One minute he was saying she looked fine and not seeming to care much about what she looked like, and the next he was declaring that she was beautiful and stunning with such sincerity that she couldn't help but think it was real.

"So this is the boyfriend Linda told us about, huh?" one guest asked.

"Um... yes," Y/n replied, moving closer to Lockwood and curling into his side, trying not to look too stiff and petrified when his arm came around her side. "This is Anthony." She gestured up at him, feeling increasingly uncomfortable about the fact that around thirty people all had their eyes on her, and any one of them could work out that this relationship was a farce and completely destroy any good reputation that she had amongst her family.

"How did it all start? Go on, give us the story!" somebody called out.

"Yeah, we all want to know!" exclaimed a different voice. "Y/n/n's never had a boyfriend before!"

Y/n shared a glance with Lockwood, and he opened his mouth to speak.

part 5

Tag list (I think this is everyone): @ahead-fullofdreams, @aislinrayne, @anathemaloren, @augustisintheair, @avdiobliss, @aysha4life, @briar-rose23, @curseofhecate, @dangelnleif, @edible-rat-vomit, @el-de-phi, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @fearlessmoony, @fudosl, @informedimagining, @karensirkobabes, @locklyebrainrot, @locknco, @mentallyillsodapop, @mischivana, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @newbooksmell777, @no-morning-glories, @novelizt, @ran23sblog, @star-of-velaris, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @whenselenefallsinlove, @wordsarelife

let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the tag list! <3

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Kaz Brekker x Reader

Taylor Swift Exile

Angst Vibes xx

I GOT YOU, TRUST ME I GOT YOU WITH THIS ONE. LIVING IN MY BRAIN RENT FREE. Also I lowkey love doing the song themed content with Kaz it makes my brain go brrrr

Leave Me With Ghosts - Kaz Brekker

Content Warnings: Canon Complaint Dysfunctional Relationship Portrayal. Angst. No Happy Ending. Second Choice Trope. Not Beta/Proof Read.

Apparently Happy Kaz Content Doesn't Seem To Be In My Drafts.

I can see you standing, honey

With his arms around your body

Laughin', but the joke's not funny at all

Kaz watches the way you're sat on the edge of a wall, hand on Jesper's shoulder, laughing away as he talks, all emphatic and dramatized gestures as always. Jesper spins one of is guns, faking a trigger pull to illustrate the story he is telling. Kaz knows none of you have spotted him yet. You lean across Jesper to pull something out a brown paper bag Wylan is holding, and you're quick to bring the pastry to your lips as you continue to smile at the two of them, Wylan cracking some kind of comment, laced with disagreement at Jesper's story. You look so comfortable at this distance, and Kaz does not doubt your acting is bested only by his own.

And it took you five whole minutes

To pack us up and leave me with it

Holding all this love out here in the hall

Kaz can hear your laugh, and it sends him back, to a quiet night in the slat, while you're explaining all the things you needn't and he is listening to the sound of your voice anyway. He should've been playing closer attention, at the time he thought it was to the work, but now he realises what he should have been playing closer attention to, was you.

I think I've seen this film before

And I didn't like the ending

You're not my homeland anymore

So what am I defending now?

You know Kaz is just out of sight, you've gotten used to the ways in which he makes his silence so loud. You're choosing to ignore it though, focus on your friends and the sound of their laughter, bringing out your own. If Kaz has something to say, he can come to you for it, you're done going to him, done seeking him out only to get yourself hurt for it. You knew that mistake was on your own hands, you'd reached for Kaz knowing he had told you how unreachable he was. You had hoped, you had hoped far too much, that maybe he was just saying those things to save you the fight you'd have to put up for him, and you'd put up a hell of one. But you couldn't keep it up. You had to choose you, even if it was crushing you.

You were my town

Now I'm in exile, seeing you out

I think I've seen this film before

"You're being watched like a hawk right now," Wylan says, face turned away from Kaz, the fear that he could hear him even at this distance Kaz could hear anything and everything Wylan might say.

"Or a crow," Jesper counters, pushing his hands in his pockets. "We can all tell you are avoiding him, you know?"

"Apparently he can't," you respond. You tap the pads of your fingers together.

"Oh, he knows," Jesper says, grabbing Wylan's arm.

"Oh, don't you dare," you start but Jesper is already guiding Wylan away, coaxing him from your presence with sweet talk and a wink. "I hate you," you mouth to Jesper and he just blows you a kiss before turning his back and dragging his boyfriend off down the street. Leaving you alone.

I can see you staring, honey

Like he's just your understudy

Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

He watches Jesper and Wylan leave, and he knows they all saw him, you push back on your heels, and it's your tell that your waiting for him. To get it over with, to come out with it, it's your way of making it clear that he is coming to you and not the other way around. Your stubbornness makes him half proud, and half nervous. The kind of nervous that burns the throat and makes his skin twitch. His approach is slow, subtle but he knows you won't buy it for a moment.

Second, third, and hundredth chances

Balancing on breaking branches

Those eyes add insult to injury

You look at him and that quiet voice in the back of his mind is screaming, all those not so quiet desires. All those things he would rather not feel, all those things better kept buried. Everything he thought he was long past, rising as quickly as the waters in his mind the moment he is near you. How can being so close to someone fill him with such waves of wanting, and fear at the same time. It's a weakness to want something to badly that you reach for it, despite knowing what that might do to you. Kaz Brekker learnt that well enough, and that is a mistake he does not want to make again.

I think I've seen this film before

And I didn't like the ending

I'm not your problem anymore

So who am I offending now?

Kaz's eyes on you makes you want to scream, but you bite your tongue. You have loved Kaz longer than he has known you existed, you have watched him in his longing, in his regret, in the time that he waited for someone who wasn't coming home. You loved him in all of it, but he seemed only to love you in her absence, and even in that you know he would never let himself. It's not that you blame him, you understand his love for her at least, how could you not? Not loving her would truly be a worse crime you often think, but this strangeness between the two of you is a cruel torture you never asked for.

You were my crown

Now I'm in exile, seein' you out

I think I've seen this film before

So I'm leavin' out the side door

Kaz intended to be the first to speak, and Saints knows you wanted him to be, but you feel like you're waiting for wars to end watching him try to find the right words. "What do you want Brekker?" you ask.

So step right out, there is no amount

Of crying I can do for you

All this time

"I don't want anything," the words taste like regret as Kaz speaks them, and before he can find the right words to fix them the poison sets in.

"Of course you don't," you sigh, "I don't... I don't have the energy for this, or the time, or quite frankly the strength." You throw your arms up, exasperated, you want to cry, you feel like you might, but you won't not for Kaz, not again.

We always walked a very thin line

You didn't even hear me out

"Why can't you be honest? With me? With yourself?" You ask. You know the answer, you both do, but you ask as if he might, for once just be clear with you. You hope, and it's foolish to hope, but you do anyway, that this once he might just say the words. "Things would be so much easier, Kaz, if we were just honest with one another."

"Honesty isn't my currency," he says, looking at where his cane rests against the floor. "Secrets are."

(you didn't even hear me out)

It was never going to be the distance between you that hurt, but the way he looks at you and you watch the moments before he remembers who he is looking at, and who he isn't. A love that was always at arms length was something you could happily live with, something you have found yourself wanting. But the second best, the constantly wondering if each day could be the day he remembers her enough that forgetting you is not even an intention, just something he does on instinct.

You never gave a warning sign

Kaz is trying to ignore the barrel around him, trying to be present, attentive, if only for this, but his city is calling and he knows you see it in the way he shifts as he stands. You can never take the barrel out of the bastard, even if you somehow got the bastard out of the barrel, but he is intent on staying exactly where he is, in every manner of the phrase.

(I gave so many signs)

You worry everything will end up leaving Kaz alone, but then again a part of you is convinced that is what he truly wants, what he has always wanted. With no one to care for him, to hope for him, to want for him, he can be what he made himself into, with no remorse for what that means to those who love him, because there would be no one left to love him. You wonder if maybe that is truly his endgame, if someone can really want to be that alone. Or if the only company he ever really craved is gone and now he sees no value in anything, you don't doubt that's the easy answer.

All this time

I never learned to read your mind

"I'm weak for you," Kaz's mind screams at him, "weak for the sight of you, for your company, for the moments that we have never and will never have, how can you still not see that?" He says nothing, he just watches you, waiting for you to turn away, as you should, as you have to do.

(never learned to read my mind)

"Say something," your mind screams, but you won't ask him again, you won't beg for something from Kaz Brekker, you won't beg for answers, for attention, for anything. You can't.

I couldn't turn things around

"I will not wait for you to realise that you could never love anyone but her Kaz Brekker," you say. Kaz cannot help it, his blank expression slacks and he looks confused. Part of him is tearing at him, begging him to tell you "you're wrong, you're wrong," but he stays silent. For you. Because it's better this way. Better if you hate him, better if he doesn't hurt you anymore. "I know you well enough to know you never loved me, and I don't think you could, even if you wanted to." Lie. That lie is burning into his chest but he stays stiller than a corpse as he watches you turn. "This is better for you, this is better for you, it has to be," he tells himself over and over trying to drown out ever other piece of reasoning, every other option, trying to push it under the waters and keep it there, drown out all his own wants until there is only this choice, the choice he is adamant is for you.

(you never turned things around)

Your back is to him and you have to ask, you have to or you'll think about it every day. "Kaz Brekker, do you wish to be so unhappy, is it a choice, or are you truly that lost?"

'Cause you never gave a warning sign

"To drown in sorrow is more fulfilling than suffocate in pleasure most days," he says, and it might just be the last piece of honesty you can pull from him. And you are not push it further.

(I gave so many signs)

So many signs, so many signs

You didn't even see the signs

"Was that everything?" You ask and even that feels like too much of a branch, a last opportunity for him to say something more, words he will never say about things he will never really mean.

"No, it was nothing, and the everything still hovers just out of reach, where I suppose it belongs," Kaz sighs. "I suppose it is."

[poppitron360]

tbh i find you annoying but thats just my opinion. you're allowed to do whatever the fuck you want. good for you. my own opinion - based on petty standards and prejudice and a bit of jealousy - is not a reflection of reality and should not affect you. keep having fun.

also please don't block me because you're posting about something i like and it's not very well known and i just needed to get this out because id explode

… Okay?

This ask is fascinating to me and I have SO MANY QUESTIONS. Imma disect your comment like a lil bug real quick, if that’s okay with you?

If it doesn’t affect me why did you tell me? Like what was the purpose of telling me that you find me annoying? What validation does that give you?

Like you took all that time and effort to 1) seek out my blog 2) read enough of my posts to come up with a REALLY REALLY GOOD BURN LIKE WOW THAT IS SO CLEVER 3) Click on the ask button 4) write this comment 5) CHANGE THE FREAKING FONT- Like you went through the whole process of highlighting that line of text, clicking the “minimise” AND the “strikethrough” buttons and THEN 6) pressing send and you didn’t stop to think ONCE “hey… why the hell am I doing this?”

It always baffles me when people tell me these things like they think I’m not already painfully aware of it. Like I know that I’m annoying to some people THAT’S WHY I’M HERE!!! I have found the one community of people that find what I’m saying interesting!

I’m not posting for YOU I’m posting for THEM. You think I give a shit what you think about me? Are you THAT self-centred? Maybe my posts aren’t tailored to you, and that’s fine! Not everyone is making content specifically for your consumption, and might just be marketing to a different audience. If you’re not pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down, that’s okay. Maybe I’m just not putting it down for your specific needs.

You know, before I joined Tumblr, a comment like this would have sent me SPIRALLING. But now I’ve realised that there is actually a place and a people to whom I am entertaining. I just gotta find the right audience.

One of my favourite inspirational quotes ever is by Einstein and it’s that “everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree, it would think itself an idiot” or words to that effect. Yeah- my talent for spinning Leo Valdez round my brain like a candy-floss machine until it eventually turns into content isn’t necessarily “fun at parties” or useful for getting a job or good for… y’know… anything applicable to the Real World™️ but here I’ve found where I CAN put it to good use! And a year ago I didn’t have that.

Before Tumblr, my lil fishy body was struggling ‘er way up that tree. Here, I’ve found my ocean!

Not sure where this metaphor is going in relation to the topic of you finding me annoying… I guess fish me doesn’t feel like such an “idiot” now that I’ve found where I belong? Like I know that my talents are niche but SOMEONE likes ‘em. Actually quite a lot of people like ‘em, judging by my follower count. And I didn’t get this far by just having a cute cat pic as my pfp, but by actually building my skill and working hard! And I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. SO FUCK YOU!!! HUZZAH!!!

I’m aware of how much of an asshole I sound like, but honestly? I am proud of myself. And my girl deserves her moment.

I feel a little bad responding guns-ablaze bc your hate comment was legitimately kinda nice and considerate?

But Also- how weird is this as a hate comment? Like you’re being insulting but you’re also saying you like my stuff? Geez, it says a lot about you that you can’t even send anon hate correctly.

If you wanna keep reading my stuff, go ahead! You just either gotta power through whatever weird complex you have about me, or just don’t read it. I don’t really see what good sending me this ask will do. Whatever gripe you have, put it aside. Like how I put aside your lack of capital letters in that comment, knowing that my stupid obsessive thing with Grammar shouldn’t affect how I treat other people, and that that is my OWN problem to deal with.

I’m being silly here. I’ve just never had the confidence to roast my haters before. I’ve never had haters to roast (online, anyway) so forgive my overzealousness. If you couldn’t tell- I was a theatre kid and still am…

In all seriousness, I like how self-aware you are that you’re being prejudiced and jealous. And I’m kinda curious as to what specifically you’re jealous of? But that’s just to boost my own ego.

I’m aware that I can be a little intimidating sometimes, particularly in a written form of socialisation. I like grammar, okay? I like rules and guidelines and careful, creative choices to show emotion and how you can break the rules in certain ways to give depth and nuance to the character and find the pattern of letters and characters to communicate what you’re feeling over a written format and-

If you couldn’t tell by all the fanfics I write- I also have a passion for writing.

Also, what specific prejudices? I’m genuinely intrigued. Is it specifically based off of one of the protective characteristics (under the 2011 Equality Act)? Or is it more just the way I behave? Or is it something I said? Like don’t be shy I don’t want vague I want DETAILS!!

And I realise that me writing a whole freaking dissertation on your comment just PROVES your point that I’m annoying but I. Don’t. Care. I’m having fun. I can’t help that I have a lot of Thoughts And Feelings about things. It’s just how my brain works. Also, it is currently 1:23am where I live, so brain go brrr. If you made it this far, anon, I salute you! Thank you for taking the time to hear me out even though you think I’m annoying. That’s honestly a good quality to have. Here, have a sweet 🍬

And I know that that was… intense, to say the least. Oh BOY do I know that I can be intense. But genuinely- GENUINELY- I’d love to sit down and have a discussion with you on this because it truly fascinates me how other people perceive me. And, if you’re comfortable coming out of anon (if not, that’s fine) I’d like to learn more about why you think these things. Not necessarily so that I can change- but it’d be a great opportunity to see what I can learn about myself through what you think at me. I know it seems like I’m mad- I’m really not! I’m just captivated by the world and how others look at me.

Anyway, thanks for hearing me out, and I hope to have good conversations with legitimate constructive criticism in many posts to come! Never stop being passionate. Just maybe direct your passion to something more positive. Thank you so much for the ask, this was a really good thought experiment for me.

[angelsanarchy]

Fever Dreams: Mike x Y/N One Shot Series PRT 27

Tagging: @icarus-star @chainsawgvtsfvck @romanroyapoligist @liquidsmoothdomme @madamemaximoff06 @drazenka @blacksoul-27 @444rockstargf @kappasbbgirl @luzclarita57 @tempt-ress @starry-eyed-wild-child

Mike was startled awake by his cellphone. Y/n groaned from the sound and he rubbed his eyes, seeing 9AM on the clock that sat on her nightstand. "Why is your phone so loud?" Y/n complained.

Mike reached over and grabbed his phone. "Hello?" He said clearing his throat.

"Where the fuck are you? We were supposed to do pick ups two hours ago!" Leff yelled so loud, Mike pulled the phone away from his ear.

"Yeah I'm not coming in today." Mike pinched the bridge of his nose.

"This isn't a job that you can take a sick day for Mike. Get your ass here now!" Leff laughed.

"I can't. Y/n got mugged last night. I'm not going to leave her by herself. Have Sicky help you. If you have a problem, you can fire me and find yourself another errand boy." Mike hung the phone up before Leff could speak and tossed his phone on the nightstand settling back into the bed with Y/n.

"You know he knows where I live right? He's going to kill you." Y/n chuckled.

"Yeah well he can fire me." Mike mumbled into her shoulder as he pulled her back to his chest to spoon her.

"You're feeling awfully brave this morning." Y/n patted his hands and he mumbled.

"You aren't a morning person are you?" She asks and he sighs into her hair.

"No I'm not. Are you going to keep talking or are you making me get up?" Mike asks and Y/n laughs

"I need something for a headache so I need to put food in my body." She rolled out of bed and stumbled.

"Hey...take it easy." Mike sat up quick seeing her sway.

"I'm dizzy as hell." She complained. Mike took her face in his hands and looked at her eyes.

"Your eyes are still blown way the fuck out. You should stay home today, take it easy." Mike frowns.

"Well I heard you took the day off...wanna have a lazy day?" She asked sweetly and Mike chuckled getting back into her bed and pulling her to lay next him.

"We'll get out of bed once food gets here. Breakfast bagel sound good?" He scrolls through his phone and she nods.

"Sounds perfect." She lets him order the food before letting him spoon her again.

"You're going to be a cuddle guy aren't you?" She teased.

"Fuck yeah. The only reason you didn't get post-fuck cuddles was because we were in the bar and it was hard to cuddle on a pool table." Mike reminded her.

"Ah so currently the cuddles are apart of the healthcare plan?" She asked playfully.

"Currently I'm just not ready to get up so holding you hostage in your own bed waiting for Door Dash seems like a the right move." Mike laughed.

"So does fucking also fall under that plan?" She looked through her eyelashes at him, resting her palm on his chest.

"I don't think you're up for all that. Besides, I don't plan on fucking you again until I take you on that date you promised." Mike was merely joking but Y/n shook her head.

"Okay...when are you free next?" She asked abruptly and Mike looked at her confused.

"What?" Mike asked dumbfounded.

"When are you going to be free again for a date? I mean are you planning it? Am I planning it? What's the stipulations here?" The more she asked the more intense Mike's gaze became. He sat up and she had to sit up with him when he moved.

"Are you being serious? You're going to let me take you on a date?" Mike asked, tone now hopeful.

"I said to ask me...so ask me." She reminded him what she said last night but he was convinced she would forget.

"How does Saturday sound? I want you to have enough time to heal your brain before I drag you out. I can pick you up here at 8:30?" Mike said and Y/n smiled.

"That's sounds perfect. Saturday at 8:30, it's a date." She kissed him sweetly.

Once breakfast arrived, Mike made sure she ate before giving her something for a headache. Mike went to the corner store and grabbed her some snacks, medicine to fight nausea and an eye mask for her to be able to sleep without anything bothering her. She thought he was running to the corner store for drinks but came back with at least two bags of shit, laying it out on the table and showing her what it is.

"You really didn't have to do all this Mike. I'm going to be fine." She was touched by the gesture.

"I'll feel better knowing you've got stuff to help you out." Mike said firmly. Y/n shook her head and put her arms around his neck.

"I guess there's no convincing you that I'm well enough for a quickie before you go..." Y/n tried but Mike smiled.

"I have a feeling Leff is going to beat my ass the moment I walk in so I think it's better if you heal up, I take my ass kicking and then Saturday I will pick you up here for our date." Mike put his hands on her hips and Y/n sighed.

"I guess I'll have to wait then." Mike touched her forehead with his thumb.

"Thank you for hanging out with me and making sure I don't keel over." She smiled. Mike nodded his head.

"No way. Not before I get to take you out and fuck you stupid." He winked. Y/n shook her head at him and watched him as he walked down the stairs.

"Goodnight Y/n." He called out.

"Goodnight Mike." She called down the stairs with a laugh. The idea of going out with Mike was something to get excited for. All she could hope for now was that it would go well.

[rj-orion]

"Found You." A short story by me!!

"I found you!!" I screeched at my sister as she emerged from her not so amazing hiding spot, "I always finding you! You suck at this game!"

My sister scoffed and rolled her eyes, momma says she'll see her brain one of these days, "You only find me because I let you!" Not a chance, she's just bad at hide and seek. Even if she's older than me.

"Nu-uh! Prove it! Hide really *really* good a-and I'll still find you!" She agrees to my terms and I start counting.

"60 seconds!" She tells over her shoulder as she runs away.

That's all it took. Just 60 seconds for my sister to disappear. I remember that day like it just happened, even after 20 years. I closed my little eyes and started counting, I wasn't that good at numbers yet, but I am now. I had visited our old house as soon as I got my investigation licence. Our parents still lived there, so it was nice to see them, but I was on the job.

I searched her old room, and mine. Mom and dad refused to change them at all. There was a thicker layer of dust on her stuff then there was on mine. I read her notebooks, her journals, her old computer still worked too so I searched that. Nothing all that useful though.

Siera wasn't very secretive, she told me everything, and told our parents even more. She couldn't lie if her life depended on it. That was fact.

I searched the house more than once, twice, even three times before deciding to move outside. Looking at the backyard made me feel way too big; this yard used to feel like a jungle when I was 7.

I started walking around the graveyard of painful bittersweet memories, grimacing with a sad smile at the place I had found her last. I had always felt guilty for telling her to hide again. She didn't have to listen to me, but she did. 'That's what big sisters do', she said.

I tried to think how she would think; where would I go, as an 12 year old, to hide from a 7 year old.

My first thought was the treeline, but police and dogs and even helicopters had gone over this forest maybe a hundred times so I decided to rule that option out.

The next thought was the cliffs. We lived in the mountains, no 7 year old would go to the cliffs...

So that's where I went.

The woods were thicker out here, like they didn't want to be walked into. Strangely enough; it got thinner as quick as it had gotten thicker, and the woods were normal again, albeit a little quiet.

It's about midday when I realise I'd been walking for a while. I didn't know the woods were so vast back here; I thought I'd surely have reached the mountains by now.

I paused to take note of my surroundings; trees, weird rock, more trees, a small puddle from the recent rain storm, more trees.. it felt like it was going on forever. I checked my watch to see how much longer I could be out here and–

"What the hell.." I muttered, confused. My watch said 8:45, the exact same time I had walked into the woods back at the house, "Goddamn smart watch.. I probably don't have good connection.." I sighed heavily and shook my head, figuring that I'd just need to judge it based on the sun.

I was about to keep walking when I heard what sounded like a woman's voice far out to my left; against my better judgement and my knowledge I yelled out a simple 'Hello?', only to get silence in return. I shrugged and kept walking, it was most likely a bird.

I kept hearing that woman, she sounded like she was getting closer the more I walked and she sounded like she needed help. 'Shes on my path, why not check it out..' I found myself thinking. And then I found myself walking a little faster; an uneasy feeling started to settle under my skin. Like the unhinged and more deranged cousin of goosebumps.

Then I was running. I wasn't sure what started it; the birds started getting really loud, a heard something big run through the forest–probably a bear–and then, all of a sudden, everything went still.

No more birds. I stopped running, almost tripping. The only sound was 2 pairs of ragged breathing. Mine, and...

A felt a gust of hot air on my back and the smell of rancid, rotting meat fill my nose. I quickly turned around to see—

There she stood; 15 feet tall. Her hair was the only thing that distinguished her. Long and deep, deep red. Her other features were...long gone. Her skin was replaced and stretched over a lengthy, bony body, and it had blackened to the colour of obsidian.

She didn't have a face anymore. In it's place was a long, uneven and cracked, pale white skull. Branch like antlers shot out from either side of her head. This wasn't my Siera anymore, but still...

"I found you, again.."

[spyroid101]

Hortus Infernal: “She loved me, once...”

...So one day I apparently got the rabid need to write some Angst & Hurt/Comfort, and my brain decided “Today, you’re making this Jestdeer cry on BOTH sides of their face!”

Sooo...Here ya go, spontaneous stream of consciousness Hortus Infernal Banban AU oneshot... that just might end up just COMPLETELY non AU canon by the time Banban 4 actually comes out and we see these characters in action. Who knows?! I’m just rolling with what makes the brain go brrr~

Warnings for abuse and injuries. 

Nothing too detailed, but... they’re there, so take care.

"Ss-so you... escaped..." The Jester rasped. "I'mmm not... s-surprised... You're... much too clever for her... Much too..."

You felt a cold knot coil in your stomach at how the room was splattered in the black ichor you'd long come to know made up these demon's blood...

All coming from that... that damn Jester, that had been the biggest, most annoying pain in your ass for the past who knows HOW long. Their once intimidating seven foot tall stance now looking so incredibly small, all crumpled pathetically in the corner of the room.

"I know... You can laugh, if it makes you feel better..." They kept an eye locked on you, only displaying the forever smiling right side of their face, but the true tone of their voice was clearly the whimpering tones of the left side, that they seemed desperate to try and hide against the wall. "...Unless I'm... not even fit enough to be used for malice..."

"What...?" You finally manage to find your voice. "What happened...?"

This- this didn't feel like something Toadster would have done, at least, that wasn't the impression you'd gotten from the short time you'd known him.

One of the other demons you'd just released from containment, maybe? As revenge for helping the Queen in getting them locked up? Was Banbaleena on a bloody rampage, or either of the Nabs? Hell, maybe even Tarta-?

"She wasn't... In the explaining mood..." The Jester's voice cut through your thoughts. "But seeing as... you're here right now... I have to assume, I'm just a failure, as usual..."

"...'She'...?" The light bulbs were starting to flicker on in your head, and you wished you could just rip them out of the sockets and smash them against the floor.

Bouncelia? She- she did this, to her own-?

"Why...are you here...?" Their voice sounded shaky, like they were afraid of the answer you'd give.

"I'm- I-" You desperately tried to get your now even more frantic thoughts back in line. "She still has Castor. I- I need to go back and-"

"Right...The Stolas... Of course..." The Jester's voice quavered, but quickly, they forced the more upbeat voice of their right side to take over. "W-well, as I assume you-you're in a hurry, you're in l-l-luck!"

Slowly, shakily, as if they really, really didn't want to, they stretched out their feathered wing.

"Th-the self healing's almost done h-here, ss-s-so..." Their trembling got worse, as they further pressed their left side into hiding. "With...it out of commission, my mobility will be decreased... a-a good... forty-eight percent! More than adequate!"

"Wh-?"

"A n-new break will... will take a good... few hours to re-mend..." They took a steadying breath. "If I... might be so bold to request: just a single... quick, clean break at the elbow joint? It'll still do the job-"

"NO!" You exclaimed in horror, that knot in your stomach now tossing and turning, as if it were trying to claw up out of your insides.

"...Fair. I am not... in any position to make demands, after all..." They mumbled, sounding defeated as they finally dropped their gaze from you. "G-go on, then... However you wish-"

Whatever else was said, it was lost as you suddenly turned heel and sprinted out of the room.

God DAMN it, it had to be some kind of trick! A trap! It just- HAD to-

And yet, feeling as if you were on autopilot, you found yourself snatching up any loose tarp and cloth you laid your eyes on, even managing to rip down one of the Queen Bouncelia banners, before returning to the room.

They only gave you a momentary glace, before averting it again.

"...I won't retaliate, you needn't bother with restraints-"

"That's not-!" Your gut clenched as your raised voice caused them to flinch. "...I'm not looking to hurt you..."

"Then just what... are... you doing?"

A part of you... was asking that yourself.

All the same, you found yourself kneeling beside the Jester, one of the cloths bundled up in your hand. Slowly, steadily, you pressed it up against one of the still seeping gashes on their side.

"Oh, shi- did I just make it worse?" You asked as their body tensed.

"I- No?" They said, voice full of weary confusion. "I-If you're trying to-"

"I'm not." You restated, firmly.

"...No." They finally repeated after a pause, once again going slack. "Just... reflex."

You nodded, and went about securing the cloth in place.

"You know these will eventually heal on their own..." They mumbled. "You're wasting your time..."

"No, I'm not." You said, grabbing another cloth. "Now, let me see your-"

"If you don't plan on running on ahead without that Stolas, you are." They reiterated, a soft growl to their voice. "Human, if you give her time to get her plan of attack back in order-"

"Your face." You interrupted. You couldn't stomach getting talked out of this now, you just- you couldn't. "Let me see your face."

"...It's right here." They stated flatly, widening their sharp toothy Cheshire grin.

Good. The damn deer being a pain in the ass was more familiar territory to you.

"Funny. Really." You rolled your eyes. "I mean your whole face, c'mon..."

You reached out, touching your fingertips to their chin, gently coaxing them to turn their head.

They hesitated for a moment, before relenting, finally letting the left side of their face be seen.

The left side's eternal frown was twisted into a pained grimace, black blood leaking down from the lips, as well as their nostril. Their eye was practically swollen shut, what little bit of the sclera you could see blackened by being bloodshot, as tears streamed down their face.

"God..." You couldn't help but breathe.

"Not like it was ever my good side." They teased. Or, at least seemed to try to. Their heart wasn't in it.

You swallowed thickly, urging yourself to stop gawking and keep moving as you softly pressed the cloth against the left side of their face, slowly and gently wiping away the blood and tears.

You paused, as they let out a sigh, and leaned their head into the touch, before going still.

For a moment, you began to worry they'd just blacked out, when you suddenly noticed the pinpricks of tears now also starting to from in their right eye.

"...She loved me, once, you know..." They whispered. "Whenever she smiles, I remember that... But I suppose after several lifetimes, the humor starts to fail..."

You felt yourself start to shake. From sorrow or anger, you weren't completely sure...

For damn sure, you were feeling BOTH.

"That... That doesn't excuse... this..." You managed to speak past the lump forming in your throat. "Nothing... Excuses this..."

"...No, I suppose it doesn't..."

A few more seconds of silence pass, until you feel their hand nudge yours. Taking the cue, you allow them to take hold of the cloth, so they could take control of cleaning their own face.

"If you were just... doing this in order to try and acquire an ally... I'm sorry to disappoint you..." Their eyes avert yours. "The pact that was made... The part of me she holds in her possession... It's a strong one. When she calls, I have no choice but to answer-"

"It's fine, don't worry about it." You answer, firmly.

"Then... even though I won't lie, and it will only waste your time, and sabotage your efforts..." They pause, as if struggling to truly decide if they should continue. "If I might request... Sit beside me... just... for a bit longer-"

"Of course."

You don't even need to give it a second thought, and quite frankly... you could use the rest yourself, as well.

As you gingerly sat down besides them, you briefly wondered how close they exactly wanted to to sit-

"Woah-!"

-When that was pretty much answered for you, as they leaned over, completely resting their head atop of yours.

"I'm... very tired, human..." They mumbled.

"Yeah, I- I can tell..." You squirm a bit, attempting to make the position at least a little more comfortable for you. "So, uh... Since we're apparently getting rather... close, I suppose I should ask... You got a name?"

"Of course."

You wait, expecting them to elaborate...

...They do not.

"Uhhm... Gonna... let me know what it is...?"

"Ahh, you meant a name here... In which case, not really, no."

...And they fall silent again.

"You're, uh... Going to have to elaborate." You raised an eyebrow. "Like, I should know what I could call you... besides 'Stupid Deer', and all..."

"A true name." They give a little raspy snort of laughter. "We all have true names. True names have power, and no Demon is stupid enough to give them to the Summoners. So, they decide what they wish us to be called during our contract... Or, did you actually think a denizen of Hell reigned terror under a name like 'Banban'?"

You're glad their position doesn't allow them to see the flush that flashes across your face, because... yeah, you maybe... kinda...

Absolutely did...

All the same, your lack of answer seems to give all the answer they need, as they let out a few more chuckles.

"Either way..." They continued. "They'd only summoned her, and my pact is what dragged me along. They had plans for her, and not me, but still I was there. So they just... labeled me as her Jester, and left it at that..."

"I see..." You mumbled. "Guess that... doesn't really help me figure out what to call you, though, huh?"

The only reply they give is a soft hum. ...

...Okay, the weight leaning against you was really starting to become an issue.

You squirm and try to find some way to properly brace yourself, without either toppling over completely, or pushing on any of their wounds. Your efforts seemed to go unnoticed, as the Jester neither made comment, nor moved to try and assist you.

You eventually give up, resorting to try and, politely, push on their chest in hopes that they'll back off just a bit-

...When you noticed... something... missing...

It took you a moment to really pinpoint it, but the complete, cold, stillness under your hand...

...There was no heartbeat.

While you wouldn't be shocked if some of these creatures could still function without a heart, every one you'd had extensive contact with so far had possessed a heartbeat!

Castor, all the Fiddles flying around, Tarta, even Nabnaleena-!

'The part of me she holds in her possession...'

It's at that moment , your memory draws back to Queen Bouncelia, and the staff she'd held, the way you were able to hear a pulsing coming from within the ordainment at the top...

"Your heart..." You spoke your thoughts aloud. "She... has your heart, doesn't she?"

"...A powerful pact, indeed..." They finally spoke again. "One I made in a lifetime when I was young, mortal, stupid...In love ... That has stretched on in every single lifetime since, and will continue, even after this is over, however the outcome..."

You silently mull over their words, allowing them to sink in...

...And fuel your resolve.

"No, it won't." You state, firmly. "I came here to get my child back, yes... But I don't plan on just leaving you all here like this, either. I'm... I'm going to help. Castor, Seline-"

'Banban?'

Your voice falters on the name... Honestly, you're still not sure how trustworthy he truly is...

...But that was going to be a mental dilemma you were going to have to sort out another time. For now, you just knew none of them deserved to have this fate.

"-I'm going to figure out how to get you all home, so... that means I'm going to help YOU as well, pact and all..." You pause. "...Somehow."

The Jester finally stops leaning on you, pulling back to be able to see your face, forms of a quizzical expression managing to come across both sides of theirs.

"You are...endlessly perplexing, human..." They chuffed. "I hope you don't find me not holding my breath rude... but the thought is a warm one, all the same."

"I mean it!"

"I know you do..." They turned their head once again to hide away the left side of their face, to be sure you clearly got the smile. "And... for whatever I may be forced to do next... Just know there isn't any malice in the actions I take."

You nod in understanding, and the Jester seems satisfied with that as an answer.

They then proceeded to move to stand up. You almost find yourself protesting, seeing their legs shake like a newborn fawn's, but its only a few moments before before they get it under control, and stand back up at their full, towering, seven foot height.

Seems they were right, the wounds healed up on their own... but you still hoped you'd helped make the experience at least... a little more comfortable to put up with...

"Now, then..." They said, reaching a hand down in an offer to help you up as well. "I've already taken up quite a bit of your busy schedule, and you've got quite a few beings depending on you."

You accept the hand, and stifle a gasp at just how effortlessly they manage to hull you up to your feet, singled handed. You're reminded, once again, just how strong these creatures are...

...And try your best not to think too hard about how strong Bouncelia must be in comparison, in order to be able beat the Furfur down to their earlier, frightened, broken state...

"...Actually, one thing before you go..."

Suddenly, the Jester used their grip on your hand to pull you in, super close, leaning their head down, you felt their cold nose touch your ear and-!

A... whis...per...?

A single word was spoken. To you, and you alone. You knew it was a word, but at the same time, it was like sand, your brain struggling to grasp and make sense of what exactly it was, sending shocking flashes of hot and cold through your spine, every time you came close.

...No, no. It wasn't just a word.

It was a name!

"J-Ja-" You attempt once again to enunciate what you just heard, only to be shushed by a finger pressed to your lips.

"Hey, don't go just spreading that around now, okay?" You nod, still unable to get your brain to form other words, and the Jester frees your lips again. "...It's not more powerful than my pact, it won't be able to save you from me there... but, if you're still insistent on going back to the Kingdom for your Stolas, and on the... slim chance should you somehow survive and make it further down... and the need truly arises..."

"I'll call..." You say, finally starting to get your words back.

They give your hand a small squeeze in acknowledgement, before finally letting go.

"Now, I do believe you have a little Stolas to rescue~" They said in a singsong voice, preforming a little bow. "Best of luck to you, human~"

"You, too." You say, before turning to book it out of the room.

Your task list had just grown quite a bit more complicated, now having to add "Figure out how to break an ancient pact" to the pile...

...But if being a single parent for four years hadn't stopped you from dealing with an ever growing laundry list of disasters before, this new development certainly was not going to be the thing that finally broke your streak!

[fabianvalencia561]

*When D10 heard the news about Jerry being an corrupt he was quick to anger and confusion.*

Diesel: Hey dad I need to ask you something - *he stopped before he could say anything more. He knows that D10 wasn't happy* ..... Dad? You ok?...... Dad?....

D10: *he nods slowly but his face and voice says otherwise* .... I'm fine.... I just need some air... *He quickly walks out of his room.*

*Diesel already knew that D10 was not happy one bit, he watched his dad rush outside.*

D10: *he was pissed off, he tried to keep himself calm by breathing but the more he tried the more angry he got. Then he snapped and screamed loudly in frustration and anger. He felt betrayed by Jerry at this very moment.* THAT FUCKING TRAITOR! HE WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR MOST OF THOSE CASES!! HE MURDER MOST OF THOSE PEOPLE!!!! HE TRICKED ME AND EVERYONE ELSE!!! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!!!!

*D10 was so angry and betrayed that he couldn't control his own self. His power grew as his anger grew more.*

D10: *He screams loudly in anger.*

*Even though he used his powers for a bit it was enough to make the ground shake violently*

Diesel: !!!!!!!- DAD STOP PLEASE YOU'RE HURTING YOURSELF AND YOU'RE GOING TO HURT US IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS!!! *He ran fast to his dad and grabbed him by the arm. He called out for his dad to make him pay attention to him and to calm down.* ..... Dad please calm down..... Please..... Please.... Just calmed down.....

D10: *he looked at Diesel and his eyes widen he saw the calm down a bit but before he fully could he heard something click in his head and then his body went all weak it was almost paralyzed then d10 knew that this was not good blood started to drip out from his mouth, nose, eyes, neck, and also where where his horrible injury was on his face. He was in a lot of pain his breathing was harsh and heavy he sounded like if someone's lungs were filling up with their own blood.* H-Help,......

Diesel: !!!!!- DAD!

James: *He quickly runs out to see what happened and he was in shock* WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!!?!

Atharva: *He quickly walks over when he too heard all of this* What is going on - *gasp!!* ...... *He took one good look at d10 and he already knew what was up.* .......

D10: *he looked at everyone and then fainted.*

.....

*a few hours later*

D10: *he slowly wakes up and realizes that he is no longer outside in fact he was in the diesel works his body was in less pain he looked around as the room was empty it was only him and some equipment to fix broken humanoids.* What happened? ..... Why am I here?

Mavis: You're awake! I was so worried about you old man....

D10: Mavis? Is that you?

Mavis: Of course it is! I'm surprised you even remember me...

D10: what happened?

Mavis: You somehow put so much pressure in your brain that it ripped open from the inside! ....... but luckily I was able to put it all back together.. and also you were very lucky that the injury was small....

D10: .... Oh God..... *He felt the back of his head where he could feel where they fixed his head and patched it up.*

Mavis: Do you even remember how you added so much pressure to your brain? *She asked quietly* ......

D10: I don't know..... Every time I try to remember my head goes blank........

Mavis: yikes it must be that bad .... Hmm .

*Then the two hear Atharva and Proteus talking to the others.*

Atharva: YOU GUYS KNEW THAT D10 HAS THIS POWER!? YOU KNEW THAT HE WAS A MAGIC HUMANOID?!

Proteus: *he whispered a bit* aren't diesels not supposed to be magic humanoids?...

Diesel: NO ONLY I KNEW! NOT THE OTHERS!! I WAS AWARE THAT MY DAD HAD POWERS EVER SINCE I WAS LITTLE!!

Atharva: DO YOU REALIZED THAT DIESELS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE MAGIC HUMANOID ABILITIES!?!? I HAVE TO GET RID OF THEM NOW!!!

Proteus: *gasp!!!* NO WE ARE NOT DOING THAT! ARE YOU CRAZY!?! YOU'LL MAKE HIM WEAK! HE'LL MOST LIKELY DIE!!

Diesel: WE ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE MY DAD'S POWERS AWAY!

Atharva: YES I AM!!

*Everyone was arguing loudly while James kept on trying to talk and then he got frustrated that no one was listening to him*

James: EVERYONE SHUT UP NOW!!! *He whistles loudly that a glass window cracked a bit*

*Everyone went quite fast. They all look at James.*

James: *he breathed heavily and then sighs* ..... We are not going to remove anything from anyone ya hear? ....

Atharva: But diesel's are not supposed to have this power!

James: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! WE ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE HIS POWERS AWAY!!.... *he sighs heavily* Besides didn't you listen? Proteus said that D10 would become weak if you do.... And if you do take his powers... He might as well be dead... So we are not going to take his powers if it's only keeping him alive and well....

Proteus: and...... And maybe we could teach him how to fully control his powers?

Atharva: ...... *Sigh* fine..... Fine.....

D10: ...... *His eyes widen* ...... What's going on you guys? ... *He walks out of the room to them*

Diesel: DAD! *He runs up to his dad*

Atharva: *he was stunned* How.... How is he still... alive?...... *He thought to himself*

*Everyone else was glad that D10 was..... ok.... Though Atharva was confused.... He knew that D10 was alive and well but..... These incidents normally caused the humanoid to be dead ..... Maybe it was the necklace that kept him safe?.... Who even knows...*

Diesel: Dad! Do you remember what happened? .... I heard that your brain was ripped up from the.... Inside.... Can you remember anything?

D10: Yeah.... But I...... I don't remember.... How this happened.... What happened?

Diesel: ..... We'll.... We'll tell you later.... But now... You should go back and get some rest.....

D10: ..... I .. *sigh* .... Yeah ... I guess you're right.... I guess I should......

[penny00dreadful]

First Impressions

Hi! So my next WIP is going to be Steddie and Buckingham Pride and Prejudice fic titled First Impressions. I'm currently in the middle of writing it and am hoping to have the full first chapter posted to AO3 sometime this week. It'll be based off the 2005 movie because things go into my brain easier in a visual format, I'm sorry, my brain is having a hard time, she's a mess. Thanks to @henderdads for reminding me this WIP existed and I need to stop procrastinating.

Here's the first 1.5k words of Chapter One, I hope you like it! 😘

A03

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

"Have you heard? Harrington is back in town."

Eddie had to suppress an eye roll, keeping his gaze fixed on the whiskey in his hand and trying to ignore the conversation happening in front of him. Great, one more prick crawling back to Bum-Fuck-Nowhere Indiana after realising that 'finding yourself' didn't exactly work when there was absolutely nothing below the surface to find.

"Yeah, he's brought two girls with him apparently. You think one wasn't enough?"

Eddie stopped the stream of whiskey just short and topped it off with Coke. They wouldn't notice. He slid the glass across the bar towards them, putting the bottle back on the shelf behind him.

It had taken him a minute or two to recognise them when they walked in but now that he had, he would underpour every drink they ordered from him, the bastards.

Tommy and Carol had been a pair of dicks in school. Mean for fun. He was pretty sure they didn't even recognise him, barely glancing his way as they called out their orders.

"Not for him. You remember what he was like. Before."

"Think he managed to get his mojo back in California?"

"Only one way to find out. He's back at his parents' place. Throwing some kind of Welcome Home party."

"How the hell did you find that out?"

"Eddie!"

He whipped his head around at the sound of his name. Gareth was standing at the end of the bar, tapping his drumstick against his wrist. 

"C'mon!"

He glanced down at his own watch. 

9.30pm

Thank Christ for that. He hurriedly untied his apron from around his hips, dipping into the back office to throw it on a chair and calling out a quick "Lunch break!" to Charlie who didn't even look up from her magazine, waving him off.

"You good here on your own, Lionheart?" Eddie asked, turning to the other bartender, a boy of nineteen with wide innocent eyes and an easy smile as he took his beloved guitar from Gareth's hands.

Lionel giggled and gestured around at the practically empty bar. "I think I'll survive."

"You're a star, kid."

"Hey, after this do you think you could mix me up a Healing Potion?" Gareth asked as they settled in on stage.

"Do you not remember what happened last time?"

"No, I don't remember, isn't that the point?"

"Love treating you badly?" Jeff put his hand over the mic in front of him as he asked, turning around to look at them.

"Work is treating me badly."

"Sure. And Will is still with that guy."

"Jeff, I will use your head as my kick drum." Gareth snapped, pointing a drumstick at him.

"Alright, alright. Jeff, leave the poor halfling rogue alone, we've only got twenty-five minutes left. Gare, if you can make sure Charlie doesn't see, I'll make you your poisonous drink. Now count us in." Eddie settled his guitar against his hips and waited for his cue. They didn't need a verbal introduction, it was the same five drunks as usual. Hagan and Perkins didn't count.

He just hoped the crashing, thumping music would be enough to wash the name Steve Harrington from his memory for good.

It was nearly one in the morning by the time Eddie got home. He was momentarily surprised to find Chrissy awake before remembering she'd said something about a night out with the girls before he left.

"Have a good time?" He asked, dumping his bag by the couch and throwing himself down next to her. She immediately curled into his side, draping her pink throw over both of them, her face illuminated by whatever late night nonsense was playing on the TV. 

They were a weird duo, the two of them. The Freak and the Queen. But after the earthquake of '86 and all the insane shit that came after, they were practically inseparable. Best friends, siblings, platonic soulmates.

Their apartment together was a perfect example of the complete clash of personalities. Like two full speed trains that had collided. Chunky knit soft pink throws draped over the couch contrasted with black painted brick work and what was, in his opinion, artful graffiti. Metal posters stuck up haphazardly side by side with pop princess icons spaced evenly apart. 

The bookshelf was stuffed with D&D manuals, miniatures, classic literature, dice, plants, old cheerleading pom poms, fashion magazines, nail polish, small pride flags and team spirit flags. Photos were lining the walls of raggedy boys holding up devil horns and athletic girls cheering with a giant trophy between them.

Floral curtains and animal skulls. Combat boots and high heels. Delicate feminine gold earrings and bracelets next to chunky masculine silver rings and black corded necklaces.

Even the bathroom had the two of them littered all over it. Intense skincare that looked to Eddie like potion bottles, 3-in-1 that Chrissy said was a crime against the human body. Fluffy guest towels that weren't supposed to be touched even though he used them anyway. Hair masks and tampons next to spare lube and condoms. Perfume and cologne lined up side by side.

The only place that was completely their own was their respective bedrooms. 

In one, a full length mirror and vanity sporting heaps of makeup next to a bed that was always perfectly made piled high with way too many throw pillows and stuffed animals. Old cheer hair bows in a corkboard along with team photos, medals decorating the walls, shocking pink workout equipment stacked neatly in a corner and the floor dressed up with white faux fur rugs.

In the other, a thrifted typewriter sat on top of an antique desk that was littered with notebooks, spare pages, crumpled up attempts and coffee stains. The wall was so covered in more band posters, DnD posters, flyers, vinyls, artwork and drawings that they had started to creep onto the ceiling. On top of his bedside table was a teetering stack of books that was going to fall over soon. A heap of unwashed clothes sat in one corner and a heap of clean clothes sat in another. The corner of a fitted sheet lifted up on a bed that looked like it had never been properly made in its life. There was an empty spot to the side where his guitar would usually sit once Gareth got it back to him and a stray d4 that was on the floor somewhere that he just knew he was going to step on one of these days.

"Yeah." She giggled happily. "Really good."

"No drunken cheer routines this time?"

"No, but you'll never guess who we met."

"Do tell, my maiden fair."

"Steve's back. He's throwing himself and his friends a welcome home party on Saturday. We're invited."

We?

Eddie tried his best not to groan out his frustration. Why was he surprised? Chrissy and Harrington ran in the same circles for most of their lives.

"Well I'm sure you and the girls will have a great time."

Chrissy tilted her head up to look at him with her big, pleading baby blue eyes. "No, I mean he invited us."

He stared down at her in bewilderment. "Us?"

"Yeah, well when he invited me I think he could tell I was nervous and he told me I could bring someone."

"So why not one of the girls, they're already going right?"

"It's not the same, you know it's not the same."

"Chris, honey, I don't fancy the idea of being surrounded by the people who tormented me for years while they get brazen and drunk."

"No, it's not going to be that kind of thing. He said it was supposed to be a small get together but word got out somehow so he figures he might as well invite people he likes."

"And that includes you, does it?"

Chrissy's narrowed her eyes. "Yes it includes me. I've told you, we were friendly back in school. He looked out for me, noticed things when others didn't. I told you about that time he found me in the bathroom-"

"Yeah, I- I know." He had to cut off that train of thought right there, running his hand up and down her arm. No need to go back to dark memories when they didn't have to. She hadn't relapsed in two years.

"He's not what you think he is, Eddie. He's sweet and kind and I think you'd like him if you gave him a chance. You've never even spoken to him."

"Don't need to. I know enough."

"You know what you've heard. Rumours and gossip. I mean they used to call you a Satan worshipper."

Eddie huffed.

Chrissy blinked her big eyes up at him again. "The boys are going."

"The boys? The- the Hellfire boys? Like, the kids?"

"Yeah. They're friends with him, you know that. They talk about him all the time."

"I tend to block them out when they do that. But they're kids! He's inviting them to a party?!"

"They're eighteen, Ed."

He rolled his eyes but wouldn't budge. There was no way he was going on Saturday.

Chapter continues on AO3

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

[morticiasmoonflower]

This is such a silly little au that is stuck in my head, please just roll with it. ASOIAF is my number one fandom so PLEASE this is just for my entertainment and I have to put it out into the world and out of the void that is my BRAIN. I just want The Addams Family to have dragons idk.

I have been imagining Gomez and Morticia in the ASOIAF universe and I STRONGLY!!!!!!!!!! headcanon that: 

Gomez would claim Caraxes because like, he is the blood wyrm, he doesn’t roar like the other dragons, he has his own little screech from his deviated septum, and Gomez would just be so giggly and DELIGHTED that his noodle fire breathing BEAST would just sound so pathetic but is scary as HELL. He is so sly in the way he moves and flies.

Morticia, on the other hand, would have Balerion. I initially thought Vhagar because of the history Vhagar and Ceraxes have, but BALERION THE BLACK DREAD????????? LIKE COME ON?! Morticia has such a soft demeanor, very poised and composed, but she is so SO strong. She would have what it takes to bond with Balerion. Like I said, I imagine it like how Daemon and Laena were with Caraxes and Vhagar, just Balerion instead. Just out there riding together and having a good time.

Gomez would be terrified of Balerion like absolutely in awe from afar but would be scared shitless LOL but he would support his wife on the worlds largest dragon.

-

(Fixing this bc I wanted it ALL under one post)

I am adding to this bc Wednesday and Pugsley need dragons too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bonus, Mama gets a dragon! I might do more if I think of it lol but idk, I can’t imagine Fester trusted with a dragon, but Maybe Lurch will get one if I can think of the right fit! (Will update if I think of it, maybe Pubert will get a dragon too LOL)

Wednesday would claim Vhagar. 100%. If the Addams Family was promptly dropped into the ASOIAF world with all the other existing characters, but somehow possessed the magic to bond with dragons (bc of course they would, argue with a wall) and all of these dragons were alive at the same time, Wednesday would absolutely ADORE Visenya Targaryen, she would admire the warrior Queen. She would be so determined to bond with Vhagar, the absolute WAR BEAST Vhagar is. Wednesday would probably mostly use Vhagar for show, to just be like YEAH I have Visenya Targaryen’s dragon, I bonded with this OLD MEEMAW WAR VETERAN DRAGON AND SHE WILL MESS YOU UP. Wednesday is definitely the defender of the family, she would absolutely rock everyone’s shit with Vhagar.

Pugsley was a little more difficult for me to figure out, ultimately I think he would have Viserion, my baby. Soft and gentle, but still a beast at the end of the day. Viserion is just a big baby and wants cuddles, Daenerys even states that he is too big to cuddle on her shoulder at one point. Viserion is very affectionate, something I imagine Pugsley as. I think they would have a really strong bond. I also think Pugsley and Viserion are the only ones who would grow up together. Like they would lay an egg in his cradle and Viserion would hatch with him. Literally inseparable.  I think Pugsley would use his dragon more like a dog, or just a means to get around. Like he would just say be back later and just go for a quick trip with his dragon while he just talks away. They would probably have the STRONGEST bond tbh.

And for Mama, I think she would claim Meleys, the Red Queen. Much like mama, Meleys has grown old and lazy but incredibly fearful. She was another battle dragon which I absolutely LOVE. Meleys is one of my favorite dragons, she is so gorgeous. Not to mention Alyssa Targaryen literally STRAPPED Viserys to her chest at 9 days old and took him on a dragon ride, did the same with Daemon as well. Please, that is the most Mama coded thing I have ever READ. She would absolutely take Gomez on a dragon just days old. Meleys is just very beautiful and tame but another beast to be feared.

[oopsallfanfic]

Chapter 23: Moving Day

A/N: This chapter contains suggestive imagery. Also sorry for being super late, my month has been crazy weird. We're going to U.A. this next chapter, so stick around to see how that goes.

Katsuki may have been more excited for you to have your own place than you did, he even helped you unpack your things. He watched you as he opened a box, your hair falling in your eyes and your lip tucked in as you focused on your work. You were trying to get the frame on the wall to be straight, but no matter how many times you shifted it, the poster always seemed to be crooked. You dig in your box of useful tools hoping that something would help. As you rummaged, Katsuki looped behind you and removed the frame to see that you had been attaching the flat hook to the lip of the frame rather than the bracket or thin wire provided.

“(Y/N)…” Katsuki sighed. You hummed at the sound of your name, still rummaging through the box. “Hammy,” He called for you once again. You turned to see him holding the poster to his chest and pointing at the two ways to hold the frame, “This is how you hang it, dumbass.”

“What do you mean? I hung it on the bracket, why the hell did you remove it? I was just about to fix it,” holding up a roll of tape.

“I took it off 'cause you can’t hang a damn poster without my help,” He took the wire and dangled it on the flat hook the nail kept on the wall.

“I can too asshole.” You huff and watch as he easily hangs the poster and adjusts it to make it straight. He steps back next to you with arms folded over his chest, a cocky smile plastered on his face. 

“See-“ he’s cut off by the punch you land on his shoulder. He chuckles lightheartedly and rubs the spot.

“I could have figured that out easily,” You grumbled.

“I guess having the 2nd best overall grades isn’t much if you need #1’s help with hanging a poster.”

“Are you forgetting I beat you in Chem?” You stuck out your tongue and looped around him to the mirror propped against the wall. 

“That’s only because you had to study outside of class for your quirk,” he snapped. 

“So you admit that I’m better?” You hammered the nail into the wall where you wanted the mirror, adjusting the hook as needed. 

“At chemistry,” Katsuki rolled his eyes as he bent over to pick the mirror off the floor. 

“I’ll take it,” you shrug, and step back. Katsuki put the mirror on the hook and stepped back with you, throwing an arm casually over your shoulder. You looped an arm around his back, pulling him close to your side.

Katsuki’s touch was more comfortable to you now. When the two of you first started dating it was still hard for you to wrap your mind around the fact that the snarky asshole you had kept at a distance was actually sweet and caring.  His touch had felt strange at first in a subtle way but now he was more tame. It was weird to use that word in this context but it was the best way you could describe his attitude change when it came to you. Fortunately, he didn’t change how much of a smart ass he was, a key factor behind why you liked him.

“This feels…” Katsuki searched for the right word in his mind.

“Domestic,” You provided. Looking over to him you could see the red in his cheeks as a look of disbelief spread across his face.

“I am not domesticated!” He scoffed.

“I didn’t say domesticated,” You retort.

Before you could explain yourself, Katsuki primed his fingers and aimed for your sides. His fingers expertly poked and prodded at your sides as you tried to swing them off, cackling with fits of laughter as he tickled you. His attack was relentless and you did the only thing you could think of with the minimum oxygen getting to your brain. Run. With a final sweep of your hand to smack Katsuki’s own, you were able to retreat to your bedroom with Katsuki in pursuit right behind you. Before you could turn to shut the door, he closed the distance in a few quick strides. You backed up quickly to avoid getting caught and hit the back of your foot against the mattress sitting on the floor. You tripped over the soft surface and fell back on the naked mattress, Katsuki took the opportunity to straddle your hips and attack from above. He barely gave you any time to breathe before he hopped on top, as he towered over you the only thing you thought could help you now was to plead. With closed eyes, you struggle between breaths to place your palms together and croak out please, once you did though you could feel Katsuki’s weight shift above you. As you slowly opened your eyes your breathing returned to normal. Katsuki still straddled your hips when you looked up, his chest heaving from his own fits of laughter and a smile plastered on his face.

“Little shit,” You smirked and punched his side softly.

Katsuki breathed an airy laugh and held the spot you punched him as he rolled off of you.

The apartment your grandparents found you was nicer than you expected. The building was only accessible by the main entrance, except from emergency exits of course, and had a doorman most hours of the day. A call box was situated in the mail room, the only publicly accessible space, and a set of locked glass doors separated the two rooms unless activated by a tenant. The space itself was comfortable for one, a small genkan area with a shoe cupboard and a shelf alcove above it, a toilet space with a large sink surface, and a wide tub in the bathroom. Your bedroom was even larger than your parents’ back home, albeit more empty than theirs. Though the bed you found yourself on took up a decent amount of space. Spreading your arms across the width of the bed you were hardly able to touch either side of the large squishy surface. When the news was official, your father allowed you a small budget to help decorate your apartment which you promptly sunk into a nicer bed and sheets. Your grandparents had even offered a few pieces of furniture from a hotel they were refurbishing, so the apartment was set with plush modern pieces. Thankful was what you felt for the generosity of your grandparents and father's aid, but you still couldn’t feel quite comfortable in the place you’d call home.

“Your place is pretty close to campus,” Katsuki’s voice brought you out of your thoughts. His tone was suggestive as he continued, “Maybe I’ll spend the night sometime.”

“Oh?” You turned to face him, his head propped up in his hand as he stretched across the length of the bed. “Pray tell, what exactly would we do during these little sleepovers?”

“Well, I was thinking,” Katsuki sighed softly as he drew closer to you and slid a hand across the expanse of your stomach to rest. Skin crawling at the anticipation of another tickling attack. When you realize none would commence you welcome the arm sliding under your neck. Katsuki’s arm lay under your head, bringing the warmth of his body close to you. “We could do some of this,” He leaned over and brushed your lips gently. A rush of heat spread from your chest as he peppered your cheek with kisses, leaving a trail to your neck. As he approached the sensitive skin you could feel the tension in your groin grow, longing to be touched the way you read in so many fan-fiction’s. “And maybe some of this,” A soft moan escaped your lips as he pressed softly against your neck, Katsuki took that as a cue to continue. His teeth nipped at your lobes, and as your breathing began to grow heavier he moved a hand up to cup your breast then moved his lips down to your collarbone. Just as his hand began to squeeze, the jarring chime of your cell phone broke the hot and heavy atmosphere. Katsuki wasn’t phased, his hand still pawing at your tits and clawing your hair as his lips left subtle bruises against your chest. You slipped the phone out of your pocket quickly, the caller ID showing your grandparents were calling from their home phone.

“I got to take this,” Your voice was deep and breathy as Katsuki continued. The debate in your mind to tell him to stop was short-lived before you decided that the conversation wouldn’t be very long if you had any say in the matter. As you answered the phone, Katsuki smoothly pivoted himself to hold you between his legs again. His body bent down as he slid hands under your shirt to raise it and pepper your abdomen with kisses, his breath tickled your skin making you squirm between his legs. “Hello? Hi,” You say as best as you can, “I just got finished moving around some boxes, sorry if I sound out of breath.”

“Oh, don’t worry dear,” Your grandmother’s sweet voice over the phone would kill most people’s moods but yours was still going strong as Katsuki’s hands moved to your back to unclasp your bra. “This won’t be long, I just wanted to see if we could catch dinner this week.”

“This week?” You look down to see dazzling rubies flutter at you innocently as a hand stretches the bra against your body. The clasp was undone but the straps stayed in place under your shirt. Katsuki’s hand slipped under the restraint and rubbed the pebble buried underneath tenderly. “I start classes this week, but I’m sure we can meet sometime after I’ve gotten my schedule figured out.”

“Well I was hoping to see you Friday, I’m sure you can work that out since you won’t be in school the next few days after that.” You could tell by the tone of her voice she wouldn’t leave you alone until you decided on a day to meet her for dinner, though you really just wanted to keep feeling Katsuki’s hands run up and down your skin.

“Yeah,” Your voice breathy as teeth grazed your sides.

“I’ll write that down then, Friday at 7 pm. Be at the Aux Crieurs de Vin in Toyohashi, please wear something formal and be on time. Please call again soon, goodbye!” The line went dead as she finished her sentence. She seemed rushed near the end but you couldn’t bother with thinking about her quick call when a hand reached around your waist and squeezed your ass. You tossed the phone onto the floor and stripped your shirt and bra off in one quick movement, leaving your chest exposed.

Katsuki followed your lead and even went as far as rolling off of you to strip out of his pants. You mimicked his movements and stopped to stare at the plain cotton panties on your hips. He sensed your hesitation and began to sit up slowly, a hand touching your arm gently.

“We don't have to if you don’t want to,” There was a twinge of worry in his voice as he spoke, not sure if he had pressured you into something you didn’t want to do in the first place. 

“N-no, no,” You stutter and shook your head, “It’s not that, it’s just... I feel like maybe we should take this slowly.”

“I can get behind that,” Katsuki scooted closer to you and reached a hand across you to pull his shirt over your chest.

“Maybe we can just look at each other, ya know, naked,” You suggested, pulling the shirt back off of you. 

Katsuki hummed curiously as he watched you unceremoniously leap up and drop your panties. He sat up on his knees and took you in, every inch of exposed skin beginning to ingrain itself into his memory. You waved a hand at him suggesting it was his turn.

“Alright, alright,” Katsuki felt more embarrassed this way somehow, he knew either way you’d see him naked but being observed naked was different.

Katsuki stretched the underwear past his member and let them fall much like yours did. You studied the curve of his arms and legs as they ran into his torso, his chest was wider than you expected. Katsuki’s pecks led to a fairly thin waist and strong legs. His engorged appendage was even a little larger than you had expected. You’d only seen one penis in real life, it had supposedly been average, but you didn’t have anything to compare at the time. It was strange observing someone’s physical features so closely, but it made you feel more comfortable in the presence of his nakedness. You walked across the room to pull a blanket from a box, one of many your father sent along, and lay on top of the naked mattress. Katsuki followed your lead and slipped under the blanket with you, his arm being your pillow once more as he pulled you close. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise as his member prodded your side. His hips shot back at the touch of your body.

“Sorry,” He muttered, “It’ll go away, just give me some time.”

“No worries,” You said, scooting back into his body. No longer surprised by the stiff company between you. Before long sleep had found you in the comfort of Katsuki’s arms.

It was different waking up to someone in your arms, for one it was entirely too hot. You ripped off the sweaty blanket and spun around on your butt to slap bare feet against the cool wooden floor. The early spring morning shone pale pink and orange hues into the barren bedroom. You turned to see Katsuki rolling over on his side, still fast asleep even as the sun began to peak. You leaned over and ran a hand through his hair affectionately, making him stir in his sleep.

“Mom, stop, just 5 more minutes.” Katsuki gently whacked your hand away from him and turned to roll his back in your direction.

You stifle a laugh and stood to make your way to the bathroom. It was early for a bath so you elected to take a quick shower to rinse the sweat and grime from your body. Once you finished, you clambered out of the bathroom looking frantically for your robe. With a hand across your chest, you wandered from box to box trying to find the robe. When you made it to the bedroom Katsuki sat on the bed with crossed legs looking at his phone, the robe you were looking for gently draped over him.

“I’ve been looking for that,” You whine.

“Well, you found it,” Katsuki spread his arms wide, the robe pulling away to show his exposed body. Your eyes flashed down at his flacid penis out of morbid curiosity. What you saw was not what you had expected it to look like. What was an innocent peak at his junk turned into a full stare, leading Katsuki to wrap the robe around him tight as he could.

“Hey, don’t look that hard,” Blush colored Katsuki’s cheeks as he followed your line of sight.

“Sorry!” You pivoted and turned to your closet to hide the stifled chuckle, rummaging through drawers for underwear.

“It’s not that interesting, I can assure you,” Katsuki shuffled around behind you.

“What do you wanna do today?” You asked as you pulled up your jeans, “We have one more day of freedom before school starts, maybe we can go out?”

“Do you wanna go out?” Katsuki slipped his shirt over his head and made his way over to you.

“Maaaybe,” You said in a sing-song voice, then an idea popped up in your mind. “Or we can watch the Star Wars series!” You turned to see his hesitant smile, Katsuki’s eyes already glazed over at the thought of sitting through 6 long movies. “Or we can go out, it’s still early so we can figure it out over breakfast.”

“We have to go grocery shopping first, I don’t think you had anything in the fridge.” Katsuki pointed out as he made his way out to the kitchen.

“No, there shouldn’t be at least,” You slipped on your shirt and followed him. When he opened the fridge it was as bare as expected. 

“Well first task of the day: acquire groceries,” He said, promptly shutting the fridge. Katsuki’s phone rang from where it sat on the kitchen counter alongside his keys. He picked it up to see his mother’s caller ID, making him grimace. “I forgot to tell her I was staying out. She’s going to be mad for so many reasons…”

“I’ll let you take that then,” You said, retreating to the bedroom once more.

While you sorted through your belongings, Katsuki paced in the kitchen as he spoke to his mother. Or rather he bit his tongue as she chided him.

“You could’ve texted at least!” Mitsuki exclaimed on the other line, “I hope you didn’t do anything you’ll regret in the future-“

“Mom!” Katsuki whispered harshly.

“I’m just saying,” Mitsuki went on, “A lot of young couples have some happy little accidents that they have to raise.”

“Nothing happened, I can assure you.” Katsuki huffed irritably, “We unpacked her things and I fell asleep here, that’s all.”

“Okay,” She said in a sing-song voice, “If you say so. Just get home soon, we have lunch with your grandparents today. Remember?”

“Right,” Katsuki winced and looked back at your bedroom door where you were shuffling through your things and putting them away. “I’ll be home soon then.”

“Love you, I’ll see you in a bit,” Mitsuki blew a kiss before the line ended.

Katsuki shoved his things in his pockets and knocked on your door gently. You were unfolding a box to be recycled and setting it in a small stack on the floor. At the sound of him shuffling in you looked up from your task.

“Looks like I got to head home,” Katsuki said, the look of annoyance on his face told you he’d rather not. “I got to get ready for lunch with my grandparents.”

“Oh, okay,” You were a bit disappointed to see him go so soon but you understood, “Tell your family I said hello, and that I’m sorry for stealing you all night.”

“I’ll be back soon, maybe I can come after school tomorrow before going home?” Katsuki suggested.

“Sounds like a plan,” You smiled and wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him into a tight hug. He kissed your head and held your hand as the two of you walked to the front door. Katsuki quickly shoved his shoes on and gave you another quick kiss before leaving.

[anonymousfoz]

QUICK WRITER! Put out a piece of writing that you think is probably your best. ADD NO CONTEXT AND LET US READ AND JUDGE IT!

Fuck you Anon, I am giving some context. This was a leak for a DND DLC. That's all you need to know. there is some editing of parts, but that's besides the point. (written: December 28th, 2022)

TW: Alcoholic mention, death, a little gruesome

You enter the fort. It's quiet compared to what Gianna said about it before. On the walls encouraging posters hung around. You go up past the front desk and into a small office on the second floor. There she is, the woman you despise. Alfredo sat in her chair pouring liquor into her drinking glass. She notices you walk in and offers you a seat.

"Took you long enough." Her voice is a strong contrast to when you first encountered her. Her loud intimidating voice was now soft and somber. "Why are you here? You could be defeating Bruno or saving [party member]." You gone quiet. You don't want to talk to her about your choices. She drank the liquor from her glass before putting it down. You notice the other bottles of liquor on the ground, all of them empty. Who knew how long she had been in here drinking but it seemed it wasn't getting her drunk. "You are here to get a new skull, My skull. Correct?" You nod. She let out a smile and sat fully back in her chair.

"Be my guest. Take your best shot." You do. Your choice of murder is brutal but it does the job done. You look at the corpse in the chair. It's slumped over the table, blood all over the walls. You turn your back to leave when you hear the sounds of liquor being poured. You turn around to see Alfredo still alive. You swore that you killed her, the gashes across her body still there and bleeding out. She invites you to sit again before drinking the liquor.

"I respect you kid, but you won't be able to kill me." You ask her why and how. She throws her glass at a portrait of a man on the wall. "Because of that disgrace of a father. He loved to hate me, but he needed an heir who would carry his name on. So he hired people to use magic... to make me nearly immortal." She was no longer looking at you but staring at the portrait. "I still die, I still suffer and he got what he wanted! I saw people I care about, perish because I outlive them. They either grow to hate me or get killed." You realized she's talking about Gianna. You ask her if she cares for Gianna. She gives you an unsettling glare, "Why wouldn't I care for her? A child experimented on by people who promised to take care of her? I am happy that she's found her tribe and living how she wants. But at the end of the day, I am always left alone. She was the thing who kept me sane after all these years." She gets up and moves out over to the window. You follow and see [party member] in the garden. You grow alarmed.

"She's still captive to Bruno, but she escapes every now and then and she loves gardens. Eventually, I'll find a way to send her back to hell. Where she is meant to be, with her older brother. But it doesn't matter to you. You just want to blow my brains out." She wasn't wrong. She goes under her desk and pulls out a book, black and blood-red with a unique pattern of flora surrounding a pentagram. You look back at the window and Bruno is taking [party member] back to places unknown. Alfredo hands you the book. "Only way to beat him is with magic much older than him… [party member]'s magic. Some spells are hard, and others will harm you. I left notes on which." You keep asking her why. Why is she helping you, and why now? "In all my years, I come to regret a lot of my choices. People like [party member] get in harm's way because of what I have done. If I can right a wrong, it's through you. After all, who wants someone like me to be the hero of the story? That's your job. You're just one step closer while I'll spend the remainder of my days in here drinking until I pass out. Where I can finally feel death, before life wakes me up again." You feel almost sad for her but you leave the office. Alfredo sits back down but the thought of her father hasn't left her mind. "I'll get back at you one day, father. After all this time, I still fix your mistakes and right your wrongs you bastard."

As you leave the fort you look back, no longer a place of fear but of depression. You are more curious about her father more than anything. But there is no time for that. Not when Bruno is getting an army to plan to take over [world]. Once again you leave, to be the hero again in your own story, to become the defender of [world] again. You promise you will be back, but who knows how long it will be.

[pampulonad]

AGHSNAHANWAGAANAHSNA IM SO NORMAL ABOUT YOUR REPLY TO MY ASK,, @^@""""""""""""

also.. yesterday I spent 4. hours hard (/gender neutral) as fuuuuuuc b/c I ate ice cream + applesauce + fiber gummies + multiple glasses of water + fuit gummi (later in) and it made my belly SO. FUCKING. BIG AND ROOOOUND HOLY SHIT I FELT SO SO SO SEXY,,, I took SOOOOO many pictures of myself in tight clothes, different angles and some mirror pics, and I took some like progression photos ? and I am o b s e s s e d with swiping through them and seeing my belly bloat up bigger and bigger and oh my godddd. my belly was just fucking BULGING and felt sooo HEAVY and FULL and in the pics you can see the band of my lower belly puff up bigger and bigger and,,

hHHH I fucking groped and fondled and grabbed at my teenie littl belly roll and hips and thighs and ass for HOURS and I felt so fucking hot holy shittt I am actually in love with my own body bro I cannot lie ;; I've been trying passively lol to put a little weight on for the past few years, since (a) processing that I was underweight and (b) accepting that I am more attracted to big squishy bodies, b/c I realized I wanted a bigger squishier body

but yeah my tummy is still so so smol but I love it SOOOOOOOOO SO MUCH and I kept moaning that I have the sexiest tummy alive and moaning about my yummy roll(s) and squish and @~@"""""""" moaning that I'm so in love with my body as I made love to it and !!!!!! 🏳️‍⚧️ pleasure and self-intimacy (emotional and physical and sexual and mental and textual and medical and) ftw-

oghF and I haven't even gotten to how sloshy i was,, and later on that band of my lower belly got sooo gurgly~ and I recorded its grumbles and t-o-u-c-h-e-d-m-y-s-e-l-f to the playback and nngh..

and yeah this all took place over 5-6 hours @_@""

mMphhhhhhfUCK I am HORNIEE all over again for how fucking full I felt and how fucking sexy I was and the audio I captured and holy fuckkk I forgor to mention I recorded myself c-u-m-m-i-n-g for the first time (have never captured that before) and it is m e s m e r i z i n g ,, ? ?? I've never actually seen or heard what I'm like when I c-u-m and umhh.. to put it simply itttt VALIDATES the data is collected for 4 hours leading up to it so to summarize the results: in conclusion i am SOOOOOOOOO fucking sexyy,,,, I literally g-o-t off AGAIN to the video of me c-u-m-m-i-n-g in which I ram my fingers into my stomach to make my belly slosh all heavy and =@~@=""" in sync with myself just 30 minutes after..

but umhhh yea I wanted to share,,,, @~@""" I am still thinking about it and sweating profusely-

,.. ps I had some post c-o-i-t-a-l dysphoria afterward that I just distracted from eventually, but y'all got any advice or resources for handling that post-nut clarity? for me i know it's goin to involve some self acceptance, this is my kink and this is what I g-e-t-o-f-f to... i did some soothing affirmative self-talk that it's okay this is what I like and it's okay for me to love myself like this but. yeah if you or anyone has some words of wisdom I'd. take them

~ 💚💛

being comfortable with and loving your body? we love that here. i can confidently say that even with my intense voice dysphoria i still really find myself flushing hard at audios of myself when i jack off.

it’s poetic in a way to know how you sound during such an intimate moment because once you’re able to think and hear it for yourself, it feels so. idk? sexy???? mesmerizing as you put it

also for the last part: if you’re talking like “oh god i got off to this thing” i mostly just go “what the hell. everyone’s got weird shit they get off to and it ain’t right to be shaming others so why shame myself? bit of a double standard buddy” and then move on to whatever i want to do.

i don’t really bathe in the afterglow because my brain is quick to get distracted. the best i can say for handling it is that you are your own worst critic… just fuck yourself safely LOL

[darry-rules]

Diplopia

“How the hell am I supposed to memorize all of this?” I texted my girlfriend.

Century-old floorboards creaked beneath me as I paced back and forth nervously.

“It’s gonna be fine,” she responded. “You got this.”

I sighed. It felt like a thousand rubber bands were wound tight around the base of my skull, slowly squeezing every last bit of meaningful focus out of me. I knew I had to do well on this test. Anything less than an 80% would surely get me dropped from the class and if I got dropped from the class, I knew that I would never end up becoming a paramedic. And if I never became a paramedic, I knew that I would never end up pushing myself. And if I never pushed myself, I knew that I would never end up amounting to anything. And if I never amounted to anything, I knew that I would spend the rest of my life forever regretting the courage I never had. So, yeah, no pressure.

“You’re right,” I lied, texting her exactly what I thought she wanted to hear.

I appreciated the support, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes you just want to be a sad sack of shit, you know? Plus, I don’t think she understood just how screwed I truly was.

“I got to hit the books, I’ll text you later,” I followed up with.

Realistically I knew that I probably had no more than two hours of good work left in me. I had been studying non-stop for the last few months and was on the verge of mental collapse. But I figured if I could get just one more chapter in today then I would at least have a fighting chance. So, grabbing my textbook, I took a seat at my desk and got back to work.

I was elbow-deep in dysrhythmia review when a loud bang suddenly pierced the silent stillness that filled my apartment. My heart skipped a beat as my brain fought to process this abrupt shift in auditory perception. The building I lived in was nearly one hundred and fifty years old so I had grown rather accustomed to its chronic creaks and cracks, but this was different. This sounded intentional. Assuming that it was nothing more than my shady downstairs neighbor though, I quickly brushed it off and went back to studying.

“A QRS complex with a bizarre appearance and a duration of 0.12 seconds or more signifies some abnormality in conduction through the ventricles. A bundle branch block is a type of intraventricular conduction defect involving impaired conduction from the Bundle of His to one or more of the bundle branches. A blockage at the level of the….”

A second bang rang out.

“For Christ’s sake,” I mumbled, slamming my book shut.

A seething sense of irritation swept through me as I got up from my desk. Not picking up his dog’s shit was one thing, but acting a fool a few days before one of the most important tests of my entire life was unacceptable. I was not about to let anyone, especially this asshole, ruin what I had worked so hard to achieve. I was going to pass that test even if it killed me.

Letting out another sigh, I staggered over to the bathroom. I wanted to make sure it was actually him before I did anything drastic. Plus, I had cannulated my foot an hour or so earlier in a procrastinatory effort to practice my IV skills and now had five hundred milliliters of normal saline compressing my bladder.

I listened carefully as I loomed over the toilet. My bathroom sat directly above his bedroom so I figured if I was going to pinpoint the source of the sound this was the best place to be. I didn’t get much chance to investigate though as three more bangs rang out in quick succession. Only, this time they were exponentially louder.

“Dammit,” I cursed.

To my surprise they didn’t sound like they were coming from the apartment below me though. Rather they sounded like they were coming from somewhere beside me. Shit, if I didn’t know any better, I would have thought they were coming from Claudette’s place, Unit 4.

I had lived next to Claudette for the last eighteen months and admittedly knew next to nothing about her. I knew she was a nurse, originally from New Orleans, drove a silver Jeep Renegade, and used lavender fabric softener, but that was about it. Outside of that she was more or less a perfect stranger.

Unlike the pain in the ass below me though, who had been running what sounded like a lawnmower off and on for the past few days, I never had any issues with Claudette. She was quiet, she was clean, and she kept to herself. In fact, prior to today, I hadn’t heard a single peep from her. Regardless, the bangs were very clearly coming from her side of the wall and I knew that if I didn’t do something, I would never pass my exam. So, after finishing up my business, I washed my hands and made my way out into the kitchen.

A large bay window adorns the far wall of my dining room. Sitting parallel to my kitchen table, it serves as the unofficial focal point of my sad little domicile. From it, you can see practically everything: the front yard, the parking lot, most of the side yard, and even the vast majority of Secretary Frazier Street. My buddies and I always joke that if shit were to ever hit the fan it would serve as the perfect sniper’s nest. One that would put even the Texas School Book Depository to shame.

So, taking my spot in front of the window, I peered out into the expanse of land laid out before me. I scoured the porch, the driveway, the train tracks, the neighbor’s yard, and as far up the street as I could, looking for any potential sources behind these bangs. But to my dismay, I found nothing. No Claudette, no shady neighbor, no wandering meth head, no mangy mutt, no feral tomcat, nothing. Nothing at all.

Defeated, I wandered back to my bedroom and took a seat on the bed. Two thick fleece blankets were stretched wide across the back windows, blotting out the afternoon sun and shrouding the space in a lair-like darkness. Looking around, I realized just how truly depressing the place had become. In the span of just four months, it had gone from a normal bachelor pad to something more akin to a medieval dungeon.

I pulled back the blankets and was met with the spectacular image of fiery red hills rolling across my backyard. Its views like this that remind me why people don’t leave this godforsaken place. You can take the boy out of the hills, but you can’t take the hills out of the boy.

It took me a few sweeps to finally locate the perp, but once I did, I knew exactly who it was. Standing directly in front of the dumpster, with her back turned towards me, was Claudette. Being the only black woman in town, it was more or less a dead giveaway. Her ebony skin and long black braids might as well have been alien features here in Whitesburg, a place whose name is ever fitting.

Speaking of Whitesburg, it is about as Podunk as you can get. Situated in the heart of coal country, it serves as the unofficial frontline of the war on the American Dream. A place where fentanyl, booze, meth, and poverty reign supreme.

The more I watched Claudette though the less typical townie I saw in her. She didn’t have the same slumped stance of a dope fiend nor the stereotypical shaky gait of a boozehound. Rather she stood perfectly erect and perfectly still. Frankly a little too erect and little too still. In her arms, she clutched a red bundle, one which she cuddled close like a mother might an infant. She stood like this for a whole minute straight. Two whole minutes straight. Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine whole minutes straight without even the slightest flinch.

I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes.

Since day one of medic school, I had been balls to the wall, foot on the gas, stressing hard over every medication dose, cardiac rhythm, and trauma protocol. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I had taken a night off and it showed.

I put my glasses on and looked back out into the yard below. My gaze zeroed in on the dumpster, but to my surprise Claudette was nowhere to be found. All that remained was a red sweatshirt that hung limply from its lid.

My pocket buzzed.

“Dinner is five minutes out, got your favorite,” a text from my girlfriend read.

A Crunchwrap Supreme, chicken quesadilla, and Code Red Mountain Dew. I was one lucky son of a bitch.

I was just about to text her back when a muffled voice rang out from somewhere back behind me.

“What are you doing, baby?” The voice yelled.

Living in a glorified slum, I heard random voices all the time. The voices of strung-out junkies, sleazy call girls, bratty kids, and pissed off wives regularly rattled the roof of my ancient apartment. But much like the boisterous bangs, this voice was different. This voice was riddled with panic. A primal panic that I hadn’t heard since my little sister almost choked to death when I was eight.

“Baby!?” The voice insisted.

Its pitch seemed to grow with each passing word.

“You hear me?” It called out again, pulling me back towards the kitchen.

Having relocated to the sniper’s perch, I could now see a candy apple red Dodge Durango parked in the middle of the driveway. One whom I could only assume belonged to the middle-aged black woman standing anxiously at the front door. Call it intuition, but I had a feeling she was looking for Claudette.

“For Heaven’s sake,” the woman scoffed.

Right then a blacked-out SUV turned onto Secretary Frazier Street, kicking up thick clouds of dust in its wake. It came to a rolling stop at the end of the driveway and a stocky redhead clad in a bulletproof vest and rainbow-tinted Pit Vipers stepped out. He muttered something into his radio before approaching who I assumed to be Claudette’s mother.

The duo exchanged hushed words before my attention was drawn back down to my buzzing pocket.

“Your Doordash order has arrived,” a text from an unknown number read.

“Fuck,” I groaned.

Talk about shit timing.

The familiar crunch of crushed gravel brought my gaze back up and I watched as Medic 25 and Engine 50 lumber on down the street towards us. Whatever was going on here was obviously much more serious than I had originally thought and to make matters worse, my dinner was now being held hostage somewhere out there amongst the growing mass of Letcher County’s finest.

”Baby, please! You are scaring us,” Claudette’s mom belted out.

My mind reeled as I tried to think up alternative routes. Usually, I used the building’s main entrance anytime I left the house, but considering this path took me right past Claudette’s front door, I was suddenly very wary to take it. But outside of dropping drown from a second story window I really had no other option. It was either take my chances with Claudette or have Hot Pockets for the fourth night in a row. And lord knows my GI tract needed a break. So, taking in one last deep breath, I made my way to my front door and grabbed the knob.

A faint scent of lavender filled my nostrils as I gripped its weathered brass. I don’t know if it was just because I was in the comfort of my own home, but something didn’t feel right all of a sudden. I had dealt with dozens if not hundreds of unruly patients over the course of my career, but for one reason or another I was dreading the thought of facing Claudette. I don’t know how to explain it, but something just felt off.

I turned the knob and pushed. My heart was beating out my chest at this point. Instead of finding my melanated neighbor though, all I was met with was mounds of mismatched clutter. I breathed in a sigh of relief. Heaps of clothes, piles of books, and stacks of cheap furniture lined the tight hallway that Claudette and I shared. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought that she was moving out, perhaps having been evicted given all the racket.

I held my breath as I weaved through the mountains of junk, doing my best to keep as low of a profile as I could. About halfway down the hallway though I came to Claudette’s apartment. Her door was wide open and a faint rustling oozed out. Despite my curiosity, I didn’t stop to investigate. I just kept moving forward, making a beeline straight for the stairs.

The weight of a thousand worlds was lifted off me the moment my feet made contact with the top step. I was almost there. Ten more and I would be home free. But before I could even manage to take another step, I was stopped dead in my tracks.

Standing at the bottom of the steps was Claudette.

I almost didn’t recognize her at first. Her greasy hair, saggy skin, and sickly stature made her look more ghoul than human. But I knew it was her because she stood with that same stillness. An awful stillness that sent icy shivers snaking down my spine.

“He-he-hello?” I stammered.

No response.

She just stared blankly ahead. Her fixed gaze boring a hole in the adjacent wall.

“Claudette?” I called out.

Still nothing.

I couldn’t tell if she was frozen in a catatonic state or just high off her ass. What I could tell though was that she was in bad shape. Like involuntary seventy-two-hour hold shape. I mean shit, I don’t think she even knew I was there and I was standing less than five feet away from her.

After some silent deliberation, I finally decided to just bite the bullet and walk right on past her. I figured that if she truly was having some kind of psychiatric emergency chances were that she wouldn’t even notice me. And if she did, I figured I could probably outmaneuver her anyway. So, with soft steps, I did just that.

I was past her and less than two steps away from the building’s front door when I first heard it.

“Don’t believe him,” a hollow voice whispered.

My legs went slack. Every part of me said don’t do it, my mind, my body, and even my soul begged me not to turn around. But being the mere mortal that I am, my curiosity ultimately got the best of me.

Standing in the same rigid fashion, with her gaze still stuck on the adjacent wall, was Claudette.

“What?” I asked with a noticeable crack in my voice.

She turned her head with an impossible slowness.

My hands began to tremble as I met her gaze. I never really got a good look at her the first time around, but now that we were face to face, I could see just how truly lifeless and marbled her eyes had become. Like those of a taxidermized animal, they did nothing more than reflect a carefully crafted illusion of existence.

I could feel my pulse beginning to spike: ninety, one hundred, one hundred ten, one hundred twenty, one hundred thirty, one hundred forty, and so on. There probably wasn’t enough Adenosine in the entire world to bring me back down at this point, for it was becoming increasingly obvious that this was not your run-of-the-mill psych call. This was something far stranger.

Panicked, I spun back around and busted out the front door. Tripping and falling, I almost took Engine 50’s Lieutenant out with me.

“We looking for you?” He asked, helping me to my feet.

An army of concerned faces flanked him.

My chest heaved in and out as my brain somersaulted.

“No,” I finally blurted out.

Hearing this, the Lieutenant blew by me with profound indifference, a motley crew of firefighters and paramedics hot on his heels. I quietly slipped by them, still in somewhat of a shocked daze, and stumbled out into the front yard. It was here, amongst the growing convoy of emergency vehicles, that I eventually found my DoorDash driver and retrieved my dinner.

“Is my baby okay?” A familiar voice called out.

I turned to find the same woman from before watching me from across the yard.

I swallowed hard. I didn’t know what to say. Hell, I didn’t even know what to think. Whatever was wrong with Claudette was far beyond my paygrade. She needed a shrink or maybe even a priest, but definitely not some washed-up EMT barely making it through paramedic school.

“Yeah, she’s fine,” I lied, trying my best to hide my telling squeak.

A look of relief washed over her.

“Oh, thank God,” she exclaimed. “I thought I was going to lose her too.”

I felt my face twist.

“Too?” I asked, quickly realizing that my question was probably inappropriate.

“Yeah, her momma up and lost it back in ’98,” she admitted.

My eyebrows arched.

“I am Aneeka by the way,” she said, outstretching her hand. “Claudette’s aunt.”

I shook it and spent the next few minutes chatting with her. She told all about the supposed “curse” that plagued their family. Apparently, just about every generation since she could remember had experienced some kind of horrific tragedy. Her great-great-great-great-grandmother was a slave of Madame LaLaurie’s, her great-grandfather was strung up by a lynch mob, her father shot himself shortly after returning home from Vietnam, and her baby sister had spent the last two decades fighting crack-induced demons in a state-run psychiatric facility just outside of Lexington.

But despite all of this Claudette was said to be different. The light of her aunt’s eye, she was the one supposedly destined to break this awful curse. After all, she had a great job, a strong work ethic, a good head on her shoulders, and loads of promise. But that apparently all went out the window late last night when she started neurotically texting about “depraved doppelgangers” and “twisted twins”, swearing that her apartment was “haunted” and that she was “possessed”.

It suddenly all made sense. The banging, the cops, the hallway, her vacant stare, her unflinching stillness, everything. Despite what they may think, I had a sneaking suspicion that devils and demons weren’t to blame for their family’s unsavory history though, but rather it was largely due to the effects of mental illness and systemic oppression.

I was trying to find a polite way to excuse myself when the front door suddenly blew open with a familiar bang. Out from it poured a parade of first responders with Claudette sandwiched tightly in between them. From what I could see she wore the same lifeless look from before, one that now made a little more sense given her lineage.

The paramedics escorted her out to the ambulance while the Lieutenant convened with Claudette’s aunt. Right before stepping up into the truck though she stopped, swayed for a moment, and spoke with a toneless indifference.

“She lyin.”

I looked over at Claudette’s aunt.

“Look at her eyes.”

She returned a concerned gaze.

“That ain’t me.”

My mouth dried.

“C’est un diable.”

My stomach churched.

Then without any further explanation, she calmly climbed up into the ambulance and was gone, bringing an abrupt end to my wild afternoon.

I spent the remainder of the evening trying to study. After about two hours of mindlessly staring at my textbook though I finally threw in the towel. The motivation just wasn’t there. Plus, I knew I could use a night off. So, with seemingly nothing else to do, I popped a thirty-milligram edible, poured myself a stiff drink, and prepared for blast off.

I was standing at the end of my childhood cul-de-sac when I finally came to. Staring up at an oppressive grey sky, I watched as an old-timey helicopter descended upon me. Its wired frame swayed side to side as its single occupant, a James Dean lookalike clad in a Cold War era army uniform, looked down at me.

I squinted hard trying to make out his face. His chin was honed and angulated, cheekbones high and tight, hair slicked back and greased, and his 5 o’clock shadow was sharp enough to draw blood. For some strange reason, I felt like I knew this man, but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out how. Despite having no idea who he was, I felt oddly drawn to him. Almost as if I had known him my entire life. It wasn’t until I got a good look at his eyes though that I finally figured out why. Hidden amongst a paternal warmth were the eyes of my grandfather. The same grandfather that I had lost to cancer when I was eight and spent the rest of my life idolizing. Only this version of him looked to be stuck in 1952.

The moment I realized it was him a deep sense of longing set in. Nearly two decades worth of love and admiration came pouring out of me as hundreds of precious memories flooded my mind. Fat tears of joy began to stream down my face as the helicopter landed directly in front of me. I had so much to ask him and even more to tell, but what I wanted most of all was a hug, a hug that I thought was dead and buried long ago. But right as I reached out to embrace him, I woke up.

Orange beams of bright morning sun poured in through a break in the blankets. Despite the oppressive stench of bottom shelf bourbon that wafted off of me, I felt good. Focused, motivated, and thoroughly refreshed, I was ready to take on the day. Shit, I was ready to take on the year.

I sat on my front porch and took in fresh gulps of sweet morning air as I laced up my sneakers. Remnants of Claudette’s episode still littered the upstairs hallway. I had a feeling that it was going to be a long time before I saw her again. Putting these thoughts aside though, I finished with my shoes and took off on a long run.

My path took me up hills, across hollers, over streams, down valleys, and through thick sections of backwoods. While I ran my mind wandered in every which way. I thought of friends, family, work, and school. Israel, Palestine, the 2016 World Series, and even Kanye West’s infamous Hurricane Katrina video. But it was while reviewing the various doses of Midazolam that I first saw it.

Roughly a hundred yards up ahead of me was a small slender silhouette. Bathed in a deep blood red, it looked humanoid in almost every sense. I watched as its tiny frame bobbed up and down rhythmically against the brush and brambles. I couldn’t make out any specifics, but we looked to be heading in the same direction, venturing deeper and deeper into the surrounding forest.

I usually wouldn’t think much of this. I passed by people all the time on my runs: neighbors, farmers, miners, drivers, and sometimes even the occasional moonshiner. But not here. Not in this particular stretch of woods. This was one of the few remaining places left untouched by the tainted hands of civilization. It was a hidden gem amongst an over-constructed and undervalued world and one whose foliage was so thick that you damn near needed a machete to navigate through. Regardless, I continued on, eventually losing sight of the silhouette as I neared my halfway point.

A lone shingle hung loosely from the abandoned cabin that sat rotting away in the middle of the woods. I found this dilapidated relic a few years back and have used it as my turnaround point ever since. Stopping to catch my breath, I glanced around at its crumbling façade. I expected to find signs of a visitor: footprints, broken twigs, shifted soil, etc., but found nothing. The place looked just as undisturbed as the day I found it.

I was less than a mile out from my apartment when I caught another glimpse of something red up on the horizon. It had the same blood-tinted hue as before, only this time it seemed to be headed right for me.

The figure was twenty yards and closing by the time I finally recognized it for what it was. Standing four foot nothing and wearing a blood red “Louisville Football” sweatshirt was a kid. A boy to be exact who was probably no older than seven or eight.

Twenty yards later and the boy passed without incident. We didn’t exchange words, we didn’t exchange glances, we didn’t even acknowledge each other’s existence. We just walked right on by like two ships passing in the night. Despite our close proximities, I didn’t get a good look at his face. His hood was up and his eyes were buried in the ground below. Outside of the sweatshirt, really the only other identifying aspect was his obnoxiously sweet floral scent.

I was back inside my apartment and halfway up the stairs when it hit me. The sweatshirt. Blood red and lined with thick black trim, it was the same one that I had worn when I was his age. And when I say same one, I don’t just mean the same style, but rather the same exact sweatshirt. Like shared an identical burn mark right over the “Lou” same.

A heavy tightness filled the center of my chest. Things had gone from strange to downright creepy in the blink of an eye. I mean there was no way this was merely a coincidence, right? Regardless, I wanted no further part of it. So, without hesitation I bolted back up to my apartment and slammed the door shut.

I spent the next few hours fixated on the boy in the red sweatshirt. I tried anything and everything to distract myself. I read, I studied, I did pushups, I did sit ups, I watched tv, hell I even tried watching porn, but nothing seemed to take. I was obsessed.

But then, just as things couldn’t seem to get any stranger, a familiar bang rang out.

“Hello?” I called out in a forceful whisper.

The flowery stench of artificial lavender filled the cluttered hallway that I was now creeping down.

“It’s Patrick, Claudette’s neighbor,” I repeated, this time a little louder.

I tiptoed towards her door. It was still just as wide open as she had left it, only now an eerie stillness seeped out. I groaned. Either someone was messing with me or I was losing my goddamn mind.

I stepped inside and inched my way forward, clomping my feet in an effort to forewarn any potential occupants. I didn’t want to catch a paranoid pill pusher or schizophrenic Satanist by surprise, especially since there are enough ARs and AKs here in Whitesburg to fund a small army. Now I don’t know exactly what I expected to find, maybe a drug den or voodoo temple given her recent behavior, but it surely wasn’t this. Not the everyday run-of-the-mill subsidized apartment that lay before me.

A half-eaten bowl of macaroni and cheese sat rotting away on the kitchen table. Outside of the mess in the hallway, nothing really looked out of the ordinary here. There were no bloody pentagrams, no dirty needles, no belt-fed machine guns, nor even a single bottle of liquor in the entire apartment. If anything, the place just looked sad. So much so that it would have likely driven even the most sound-minded individuals mad as well.

I searched every nook and cranny of that God-forsaken apartment but didn’t find a single thing. No human, no demon, no cat, not even a freaking ant. I was about at my wit’s end. I knew that if I stayed here any longer, I would likely end up on the same floor as Claudette. So, I left.

Back at my place, I caught a rare glimpse of myself as I walked by the bathroom. I couldn’t recall the last time I had shaved, let alone bathed. My face was scruffy and grey, my eyes sunken and bloodshot, my hair frizzy and matted, and my clothes filthy and worn. If I was a cartoon character, I surely would have had little green stink lines wafting off of me.

I shed my soiled rags and jumped in the shower. The warm water did wonders for my grimy body, but little to ease my troubled mind. Like a dog chasing its own tail, my thoughts ran in circles around themselves.

I was all toweled off and pulling a dull razor across my face when I first saw it. Out of the corner of my eye, in the reflection of the mirror, I caught a fleeting glimpse of something red flash behind me. Before I could investigate any further though a sharp pain tore through my chin, pulling my attention back forward.

“Shit!” I cursed.

A thin river of blood streamed down my neck.

“Relax, Patrick,” I said as I balled up a tiny piece of toilet paper.

“It’s all in your head,” I assured myself, pressing the ball hard against my chin.

I let out a deep sigh before peering back over my shoulder.

Nothing.

I smirked.

I was officially losing it.

After finishing up my shave I threw on a towel and wandered out into the kitchen, putting on a fresh pot of coffee while I worked to calm myself.

“Caffeine, a shower, some fresh clothes, and I’ll be good to go,” I sang with feigned confidence.

A small part of me believed that if I said this with enough conviction it just might actually come true, but an even larger part of me knew that this was bullshit. I was headed in a dangerous direction and nearing a tipping point. Stress, paranoia, schizophrenia, demons, devils, whatever this was, it was winning.

The coffee finished brewing and I poured myself a cup. I took a big whiff of it before venturing out into my bedroom. Rich and nutty, it smelled just like the thing I needed. I put on a fresh pair of drawers and swung open my closet door only to be met with the crashing sound of shattering ceramic. Dangling in between my high school letterman and camo Carhartt was a blood red Louisville Football sweatshirt. A blood red Louisville Football sweatshirt with thick black trim and a familiar burn mark.

I froze. And by froze I don’t mean that I was just scared shitless, but rather I was legit frozen in place. Paralyzed: like couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t blink, couldn’t breathe. Hell, I couldn’t even feel the 150ºF coffee dripping down my foot. It was then that the banging suddenly returned in full force. Coming from every direction, it filled my tiny room with a deafening roar. If I could have moved, I would have run, spoken I would have screamed, blinked I would have shut my eyes, and breathed I would have held my breath, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything. I was frozen solid and at the complete mercy of…

I awoke in a cold sweat sprawled out in the middle of my bed. A familiar stench loomed thick in the air.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

“What the hell happened?” I asked out loud.

My head pounded and my stomach lurched. I couldn’t tell if I had just woken up from a nap or a full night’s rest. I could still remember the events of this morning, but now all of a sudden they felt strangely distant.

I grabbed my phone and swiped it open. “4:03”, stared back at me in big white print.

“Fuck,” I groaned.

I never slept in this late.

I was just about to call my girlfriend when my gaze was suddenly pulled back towards my closet. Tucked away in the corner, its door sat wide open, revealing its inner contents. And hanging by their lonesome in the middle of it were my letterman and Carhartt. No red sweatshirt was anywhere to be found.

I breathed in a sigh of relief. I guess it had just been a dream after all.

An incoming text rattled my phone. It was from my Uncle Jim, my mother’s brother and the current owner of my apartment building.

“Hey Pat, got some bad news. Claudette passed away last night. I’m going to swing by tomorrow and start cleaning up. You free to help?”

A frown creased my face.

A second text came through. This one from an unknown number with a 504 area code.

“He lyin.”

A lump began to form in the back of my throat.

A third came through.

“Look at his eyes.”

A fourth.

“That ain’t you.”

I could feel my throat starting to close. There was no way it was her. Even if Uncle Jim was wrong, I knew she wouldn’t have access to a phone. Cell phones are strictly prohibited in psych wards and there was no way she was out already. Someone had to be messing with me. It was the only explanation.

“WHO IS FUCKING WITH ME!?” I exploded.

I don’t know where it came from, but a blind rage suddenly tore through me.

“HUH, MOTHERFUCKER!?”

My face flushed.

“I AM NOT CRAZY!”

The veins in my neck began to quiver.

“YOU HEAR ME!?”

My vision blurred.

“FUCK!”

I opened my mouth to issue one last forceful proclamation, but was immediately met with…

It was pitch dark by the time I finally awoke. My sheets were now soaked and my mind was coated in a dreadful fuzziness.

“What is happening to me?” I cried.

Thick tears began to well up in my eyes.

A single bang rang out.

Something was wrong, very wrong.

A second bang rang out.

I needed help, serious help.

A third.

By this point, I was laughing hysterically. The line between fact and fiction had grown so blurred that I felt like laughter was my only remaining defense. Well, that and one other thing, but I wasn’t quite there yet. So, instead I picked up my phone and dialed.

“911, what’s the address of your emergency?” A hollow voice croaked.

I wet my lips.

“525 Secretary Frazier Street,” I said.

A fourth bang rang out.

Only this time it sounded like it was coming through the phone.

A fifth bang.

Tears began to stream down my face.

A sixth.

My mind began to crack.

A seventh.

“No,” I pleaded.

An eighth.

A hollow cackle spurted from the other side of the line before one last phrase was uttered.

“C’est un diable.”

And with this, my mind finally went. The few remaining shreds of sanity that I had so desperately held onto were pulverized into a thousand tiny little pieces. I closed my eyes and for the first time in my life I wished I was dead.

It was the faint scent of lavender of all things that ended up bringing me back around. I opened my eyes expecting to find myself back in bed, stuck in the same fucked up version of Groundhog Day, but instead was met with perhaps the most bizarre spectacle I had ever seen. Standing before me was me.

Roughly four foot tall and clad in a blood red Louisville Football sweatshirt with black trim and a burn mark right over the “Lou” was me. Only this me wasn’t the same me that I had seen in the mirror earlier. Nor was it even the same one that I remembered seeing over the course of the past fifteen years. Rather this was the me that obsessively read comic books, ate Doritos for dinner, and struggled with multiplication tables. This was the me that had yet to be kissed, yet to get drunk, and yet to be sullied by the crushing realities of life. This was eight-year-old me.

I stared at myself with dumbstruck eyes for what felt like hours. This was beyond crazy. This was beyond logical. This was pure lunacy. If it wasn’t for my eyes, I probably would have been scared shitless, but just like my grandfather’s, they expressed an ethereal sense of warmth that instantly melted my worries and wrapped me in a euphoric sense of love. One that echoed the sheer pureness of youth.

With trembling hands, I reached out to touch me. A part of me was hoping to feel something, to know that such a purity could actually still exist, but another part of me was hoping to feel nothing because I knew that if I did, life would never be the same.

My fingers connected and were met with soft, warm, skin. Like a shot of good coke straight to the dome, it filled me with an ecstatic sense of ecstasy. One that was so strong that I could have been standing in the selection line at Auschwitz and still been on cloud nine.

I leaned in to embrace myself. This was it. I was finally getting the hug I wanted, the hug I so desperately needed. But right as I felt my childish arms lock around me, I saw it. The warmth that had lulled me into this vulnerable state of trust was snuffed out right before my eyes and quickly replaced by a haunting sense of nothingness. The same haunting sense of nothingness that I had seen in Claudette.

I tried to break free, but it was no use. The harder I fought, the tighter my arms held. I was stuck, forced to gaze into the depths of my own crushing nothingness for the rest of eternity. So, I gave up. The months of unending stress, the days of psychological torture, and the complete utter lack of hope had finally done it. It had broken me for good. So, with a rare calmness, I grabbed the nine-millimeter from my nightstand, put the barrel in my mouth, and pulled the trigger.

“Tonight, on WLKY 32, a rash of unexplained deaths that rocked the small town of Whitesburg can finally be laid to rest as investigators have uncovered a methamphetamine manufacturing lab in the downstairs unit of a local apartment building. Located in the five hundred block of Secretary Frazier Street, the building experienced two suspicious deaths in the span of forty eight hours, prompting a thorough investigation by local authorities. A spokesperson from the Letcher County Sherriff’s Office stated that a search warrant conducted late last night revealed the illegal narcotics lab as well as an indoor generator that was being used to power the operation. Investigators believe that the generator’s toxic fumes leaked into the building’s upstairs apartments and played a major role in the tragic deaths of two of its occupants. No arrests have been made at this point. Officials are asking the publics help in identify a person of interest. Last seen leaving the apartment in question, witnesses describe the suspect as a young male anywhere between four and five foot tall and wearing a blood red “Louisville Football” sweatshirt with thick black trim and a burn mark over the “Lou”. If you or anyone you know has any information regarding the matter please call our crime stoppers number at (502) 893-3671

[goodlittlefangirl]

Hi there little babygirl

Have you been a good fucktoy today?

Yeah? You think so? Yeah well think again, have you been properly used yet? No? Oh dear, oh dear, we oughta change that, don‘t we?

Well let me just go ahead and spin that little wheel of yours, Oh, wow, we starting off strong with 5 edges, you touching that little clit of yours? Yeah, just like that my whore. Abuse that clit of yours, but don‘t you dare cum, we‘re sure as hell not done yet.

Desperate much yet? Your pretty little moans sound so cute. Louder!!! I thought you were a proper whore, good whores are loud, go on, be as loud as you can be! Time for some clit slaps, let me see ten of those. Slap as hard as you can. Say, „Thank you Mommy. I’m you’re good whore“ after every single slap.

Oh, you thought you‘re clit would get a break after this? No no no no no, you got the wrong idea. Go ahead, pinch that clit and twist it, 5 times you whore. That’s the furthest you can twist it? Now that’s just down right pathetic, go ahead, it’s supposed to hurt. Pfffft, here I was thinking you were a pain slut. Do turn a little further, just a little. There you go, yes I know it hurts, but it also feels so damn good, those sounds of crying due to the pain mix perfectly with your pleasured little moans you whore.

What a good whore you can be, you just need someone to tell you how to fuck yourself dumb, don‘t you?

Are you leaking? Aww that’s cute babygirl, your leaking all over your thighs, sorry, we can’t have that. Go ahead and get your panties up in there to stop the leaking. Oh wow, you took those so well. You did that really well, I‘m impressed.

Oh, you wanna cum? Haha, NO! Don‘t you dare you slut. You think you being so close is gonna change my mind? Yeah that’s a good joke. You know what you get for that? No touch at all, for, mhhhh, 2 and a half hours. Weird amount of time right, well, deal with it. Oh cute dumb little babygirl, leave your clit alone. Yeah that’s right, say sorry to Mommy. Put a timer on your phone, so it‘ll let you know when you can touch again.

~~~~

Time is over? Congrats you did it, you can touch again. Oh you left those panties in? See, I told you you can be a good whore. What? You wanna take em out? Nope, forget it, leave them right where they are.

Is your pussy full? Yeah, feels good doesn’t it?

Go ahead give yourself 5 pinches, clit and nipples each. You remember your first clit pinches? Yeah? Do these exactly like that, turn a little further for me. Yes, there you go, those tears look so good rolling down your cheeks. Yes my pretty whore, you look so beautiful like this, and your doing so well.

Go ahead, slap your clit numb. Yes, 10 clit slaps. Yes just like that! Hit it as hard as you can! Damn, you really are just gonna listen to everything I tell you. Well, I am gonna have to have some fun with that. Go and grab your thoothpaste. What? Your legs are all shaky? Do I look like I care? For all I care, go and crawl to your thoothpaste, maybe your clit will get some friction on the floor.😈 Oh, there you go, now, put some of that toothpaste on your clit. Yes I know, it’s torture, but like, that’s the whole point you dirty whore, who doesn’t like pain with their pleasure? Especially pain sluts like you.

Okay, now that your clits all taken care off. How about we do something about those nipples? Yeah, you heard me right. Damn, how I wish you had some pretty clamps to put on your nipples. That would make you look so beautiful. I don’t think I’d be able to resist pulling on it. It’d just be way to inviting😈

Well, since we can’t do that 5 pinches for each nipple. Oh? You’re a quick learner! Yeah, twist them just like that! Yes! Who’s a good whore? You? Maybe.

I’m joking right now you are being a very good slut. You’re doing so well following each of my instructions. You’re so cute when you’re all desperate like this🥰 Just how much more will you be able to take before your brain just completely turns to mush?

I say, let’s find out!

Only a little longer

Woopsie, your wheel just said 5 edges for you. You want me to edge with you? Aw that’s cute babygirl🥰 Okay alright, I’ll do that fifth edge with you.

1

2

3

Done with your fourth? Okay drink a little something babygirl, you do have to stay hydrated.

You ready? Cause I sure as hell am.

Oooh, touching my clit feels soooo good. Would you mind sucking it? (Take the tip of your pinkie in your mouth and suck for all your worth) Good girl! Yes!!! Oh my god that feels sooo good. You suck like the little whore that you are. How’s your clit doing? Go ahead and touch yourself, we said we’d edge together. Yes, just like that, you’re doing so well! Go ahead push a finger inside you. What? Oh, I forgot😂 Your panties are filling you, well, how do you feel about a little anal? No? Oh you silly little whore. That’s not your choice. It’s mine and I’ve made it. Don’t look at me like that. If you continue…. No! Don’t you dare stop sucking!! If you continue looking at me like that you’ll get ten more edges. Oh? You don’t want that? Well then, get that finger up your asshole!

I love watching your eyes get all droopy like that. Okay, stop sucking for a sec, I’m gonna put my vibrator in me. You want one to? Forget it! That’s only for good girls who haven’t cum in a month. Pfft, as if you little slut haven’t cum in a month. You’re way too desperate and horny and slutty for that. Now why don’t you put that mouth to better use and suck my clit again? Oh babygirl, yes circle your tongue around my clit, ooh just like that. YES! What? No, I’m not gonna cum, who do you think I am? I‘m not a desperate whore like you!

Your on the edge? Good girl, can you stay there for a second more? No, don‘t stop sucking. Yes, take that finger out of your slutty asshole.

Oh, oopsie babygirl. I‘m so sorry my hand cramped up and I must have accidentally pushed the button to turn the vibrations up to the highest setting. I guess the vibrations combined with you sucking me so well were just a little to much. I‘m sorry, you’re face looks a mess. I didn‘t mean to squirt all over you. Sit up babygirl. Damn. You look hot like that. My cum running down your chin😍. Such a beautiful dirty whore. Yeah, that face deserves a smack. Of course I‘ll clean you up later. I made the mess, I‘m gonna clean it up.

Okay, you have been such a good whore tonight. I guess this is it for today then.

Just one final task for you. Oh, those puppy eyes, so cute😍🥰. Well you sounded like a little mutt at some points, so that seems quite fitting actually. Okay, ready for your final task?

Yeah? You think so?

I know my desperate whore. I don‘t want this to end either but we both have to sleep.

So go ahead for me and ruin for me, okay babygirl?

Yes, you‘ve been such a good whore, to be honest with you, best one I‘ve had in a hot sec, BUT, gotta keep you desperate you slut. Why on earth would I not want to play with you again tomorrow? So, tonight you ruin, and maybe tomorrow you‘ll be luckier😈

If you‘ve got other instructions of course do go ahead and do these before you ruin, you know why? I don‘t mind sharing you with whoever wants to use you. Cause after all? Aren‘t you just a free use slut willing to let whoever wants to have their way with you, have it, whenever, whoever, wherever?

😈

Little fun fact I thought you might enjoy, I did in fact squirt while writing this💦

Please, drink some water, why am I saying please? It’s a freaking order😈, go, drink a glass of water or else you won’t even get to ruin next time😈

This was so hot 🥵