#and i am not in a good mental state to be prepared for that

[notbroadwaybound]

i am so anxious and depressed and do not need this right now 

[superfluouskeys]

godddddd wasting time and energy on things that don't fucking matter has got to be THE worst feeling

[wild-at-mind]

Saw a post yesterday that I got the meaning of but thought the execution was a little misguided. Basically it was saying that you shouldn't shame people for not proving with posts that they are doing all kinds of activism around the war in I/P. But it said you shouldn't do this because maybe they are doing super secret potentiall illegal activism and it's not safe to post about. When in fact I would argue much more generally- stop writing things that attempt to shame people for not 'doing enough' activism-wise AT ALL.

I really don't get this because I've been involved in environmental activism groups for the past 4 years and the most common thing people criticise environmental activist causes for is focusing too much on individual change. (Whether this if fair or not is debatable- sometimes yes, sometimes it's definitely in bad faith, sometimes people are projecting massively, and also often they are talking about some manner of corporate activism or token 'good faith' gesture from big companies that doesn't do much and that environmental activists are alsp criticising.) Therefore now there seems to be a big resurgence in trying to make individuals feel terrible until they put their nose to the grindstone enough to solve huge, monumentally vast conflicts, I am fucking confused. Ok I am being a little flippant here but I keep seeing people who are clearly feeling quilt tripped out of their minds about not doing enough. It is very concerning. What exactly do these ranty posters expect???

There was a period in 2016-2017 where I was really trying to be more involved in activism for a number of social justice issues, but I was also in a massive depressive episode and dealing with a lot of issues with black and white thinking. The way a lot of posts on tumblr were worded like 'hey you! Fuck you because everything you're doing or may even contemplate doing in future regarding activism is wrong somehow! Oh what you feel lonely and isolated? Well don't even think about mixing with anyone local to you who cares about similar issues because what if they disagree with you slightly??? That can't happen! Best not risk it.'

I don't know why people write stuff like this but I honestly find it basically locks up my brain until I can't do anything at all. And judging by some of the recent posting I've seen on here I'm not the only one. I'm not so affected now because I'm on better meds, and now I know a lot of activists IRL which has helped. Once I had recovered from the depressive episode I started getting involved in local environmental activism, as that is the main type of activism around here, and ignored the little voice in my head that I learned from tumblr saying I should get involved in more social justice oriented causes (which plain don't exist round here FYI). Turns out that people who care about one cause care broadly about most, even if they don't always get it right, and being in activist spaces in person helped me turn off the 'oh my god what if these people are...imperfect??!' inner monologue.

No one should have to justify their level of activism to you or anyone else. I'm not even going to give reasons why they may not be able to do more because everyone already knows and also because the whole line of thinking is flawed. Not posting about something does not make you complicit in it. Not exposing yourself constantly to the most disturbing and horrible news coming out of Gaza does not mean you are looking away from injustice. If your brain says that then flip the script on yourself- tell yourself that you personally looking at these things does not help anyone in Gaza. You feeling like shit helps no one.

I think people are much more able to stand up for causes they believe in when they are not being ground down by miserable guilt tripping. I think anyone who wants to avoid this needs to also avoid going along with the logic of these posts. Whether someone is doing a tonne of secret activism or no activism- it's not my business, and it's not for me to try and judge their heart and mind. Or for any of us.

[immamapletreekid]

the urge to draw lucci leopard form studies... i am gods weakest soldier

[salemlunaa]

✰THE “I AM” STATE: do you understand? ✰

let’s clear things up!! a revamped logical, explanation to the void state

a lot of you are “failing” to induce pure consciousness because you don’t understand.

If you feel like you need a routine to shift/tap into the “I AM state”, you don’t properly understand what it is

If you feel like you need a good “mental diet”, you don’t properly understand what it is.

If any doubt has creeped into your mind about the void/“I AM” state, you definitely don’t properly understand what it is.

If you feel like you need a method, you don’t property understand what it is.

If you feel as if you MUST stay still, you don’t properly understand what it is.

And if you compare your story to others, you don’t properly understand what it is.

The void state is a deep mental space where you let go of thoughts, emotions, and any sense of “you” as a person, almost like floating in a blank, quiet space. In this state, your brain shifts to slower frequencies, like theta waves, which are linked to creativity and openness in the subconscious. With the conscious mind quiet, your subconscious is more receptive, so any intentions you set can bypass mental barriers like doubt and self-limiting beliefs. People often reach this state through meditation or deep relaxation, opening a space where you can set intentions that stick. This isn’t magic—it’s a psychological and neurological process that aligns your subconscious with what you want to achieve, making you more likely to act in ways that bring those desires into reality.

So you see, it’s literally just a state where all your intentions can come into fruition without the barriers of the 3d. It’s not some magical thing where your soul lifts to some higher places and a genie grants all your wishes. It’s just pure consciousness.

So you don’t need a routine for something effortless. You don’t need to have a “good void concept” or a “good mental diet” to do a basic ability. You don’t need an elaborate ten step method to induce pure consciousness. You don’t need to be a productive manifestor who has a routine where you repeat the same affirmations till your brain goes numb, where you listen to the same subliminals over and over and over. It’s not something you need to do. Not for something as easy as breathing, not for something that is in your fucking brain. You can have the worst day with the worst thoughts and still induce pure consciousness. Because it’s not something you need to mentally prepare for, it was never and is never that deep. Doubting that just shows you don’t truly understand what you’re dealing with.

Having doubts means you don’t truly understand. why? because it’s not something you get to doubt. It’s not some belief that can be speculated against, some superstition that can be proven wrong or some conspiracy theory that can be debunked. It’s a basic ability, it’s law, something that is law cannot fail, no matter how much you want to convince yourself, it’s just not possible for it to fail. Why wouldn’t you doubt that humans have the ability to breathe, because it’s not that deep, it’s not something that you speculate on or something you get suspicious of, because its nothing, just like the void.

There are people who fell asleep in an apartment and woke up in a penthouse, there are people who went to bed with nothing in their wallet and woke up a billionaire. There are people who went to sleep hating their family, the way they look, where they live and woke up with all of that changed. And why? because they induced a state where their intentions can come to life with out any limitations.

You can do it, and i’m not saying that to be sappy and motivational, im saying that because it’s a fact that it’s a basic thing that you can do.

It’s just pure consciousness, nothing too serious 🤭💋

[moe-broey]

Bruh moment

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

Hiii! Could you imagine one where the reader finds out she's pregnant during one of Spencer's missions and when he comes home she has a crisis and ends up feeling ill and Spencer doesn't know how to help and the reader doesn't know how to tell him she's pregnant. (Both are already married)

i took this opportunity to set my pregnant!reader series into the future cause i already planned for them to have another child. request is tweaked justttt a little.

“my dear sweet penny, can you hit me with a bus? i want this misery to end.” you’ve been hit with the worst stomach bug or flu or just something that’s been lasting since spencer went on his case, five days ago.

your mom took your daughter for the day when you realized you weren’t getting out of bed anytime soon and you called in your reinforcement of one penelope garcia. the case ended yesterday but the team had to stay an extra day due to weather in their state, so penelope has been keeping you company for the past two days. it was nice to have an adult conversation instead of bluey and the same princess movies.

“okay, if you’re pleading for death that means it’s time to head over to a hospital. i don’t want spencer to hypothetically bite my head off if something happens to you.” her bright blonde hair was your shining sun in your darkened bedroom. and her jewelry were loud gongs with each step she took. “i hate to sound like a bitch but can you like, be the opposite of yourself today?” moaning and groaning as you tried pushing off the tossed sheets.

“yeah, you need a doctor. cause and i quote ‘penny if i even say to change yourself i’ve been abducted and that’s an alien.’ hopefully they can give you good drugs.”

at the hospital they took some blood, made you pee and just did a bunch of other check ups when it was shown you were sick with anything. so after an hour or so your doctor renters the sterile room with his clipboard and a poker face. “well, you’re not sick, but you are pregnant. we’ll get an ultrasound in here to check on the fetus.” talk talk talk and then he left again, leaving you and penelope open mouthed shocked.

“holy shit,” breathing out as your hand rubbed over your still small belly. “i told spencer i couldn’t keep my hands to myself.” telling that to the ceiling.

“oh, i’ll have another godchild! i’m so happy to live vicariously through you.” penelope stood at your side and smiled down at you. you turned your head towards her, “you know when they’re older, you’ll be our go-to babysitter then. so just be prepared for that.”

with the ultrasound done they confirmed you were almost done with your first trimester and that left you a bit shocked. you were three months pregnant but didn’t know, now you understand how some of those other ladies feel. but you were excited for another, but then you were done, seriously.

you tried calling spencer after leaving but his phone when to voicemail, but you didn’t think anything of it. probably feel asleep or out doing something with his team. so when you arrived to your mom’s place you were a bit surprised to see your husband holding your daughter and swinging her around.

“you’re back!” penny the first to speak and move further into the home. spencer and anna both turned their heads and smiled at the bright lady. “auntie penny!” your annabeth squealed with an arm out.

she happily took her from spencer’s hold and moved her away so you could talk with spencer. his puppy eyes and downturn mouth made your heart soar, oh how he’s gonna get you into so much trouble.

“you feeling better? your mom said it’s been a week.” pulling you into his hold, cheek pressed into his chest as his palms rubbed over your shoulder blades and spine. you sighed, “yeah, penny took me to the doctor. turns out i wasn’t sick… i was- i am pregnant.”

spencer’s hands stopped and leaned back, “what?” his brows raised into his curling locks. “how far along?” “three months…” biting into your bottom lip as you watched him go through his mental calendar. you both knew your period was irregular, that’s why you didn’t think anything of it.

“so it must’ve been sometime after annie’s fourth birthday,” spencer came to the conclusion. leaned in to peck your forehead, “are you okay with another?” always making sure you were okay with the decision.

you smiled up at him with a twinkle in your eyes, “absolutely.”

[please1mistress]

Warning hypnotic covert language and flashing art that may induce a hypnotic trance without you being aware of it

Ah, the elusive blogger emerges from the digital depths, armed with a fresh spark of inspiration! It's like spotting a rare creature in the wild, one that usually prefers the quiet comfort of scrolling through the endless forest of images. But beware, dear readers, for when the inspiration strikes, a flurry of original content is sure to follow, raining down upon your feeds like a delightful storm of creativity. So keep your eyes peeled and your 'like' buttons ready, because when this blogger gets inspired, it's nothing short of a content extravaganza!

While scrolling this time it struck me that hypnosis isn't really sleep. It's a state of focused attention, heightened suggestibility, and vivid fantasies. People in hypnosis can seem zoned out or in a trance, but they're not asleep. They're actually in a state of deep relaxation and their brain activity reflects this, showing a receptiveness to new ideas and suggestions. This is why hypnosis can be so effective since it taps into the power of the subconscious mind to effect positive change. While it's often used as a therapeutic tool to improve sleep quality, it doesn't induce sleep itself; rather, it helps to prepare the mind and body for restful slumber.

you could be in a light trance as you read this because as you read this your mind is so focused on my words, that it's easy to let yourself relax into the things I say. The concept of a light trance is quite fascinating, often associated with a state of focused attention or absorption in an activity. It's similar to the experience of losing oneself in a good book or being engrossed in a hobby, where the world fades away and one's concentration is honed to a fine point. This state of mind can be beneficial for various mental processes, enhancing creativity, problem-solving abilities, and learning efficiency. It's a natural and safe phenomenon that many people experience regularly without even realizing it.

The beauty of reading lies in the magical dance of words, where one leads seamlessly to another, crafting a tapestry of meaning and imagination. As you read, each word acts as a stepping stone, guiding you through a river of narrative and knowledge. It's a journey that begins with a single word, unfolding into sentences, paragraphs, and chapters, each one building upon the last. making you anticipate what will come next, it heightens your focus, so it's easy for your mind to just relax into the things I am saying. Soon you are so focused that your mind isn't thinking of anything but my words. wanting to focus deeper on where I will guide you.

like being the subject of a hypnotist, you follow and feel your mind surrender to the words. The power of words is truly mesmerizing, isn't it? yes, it is, and you find that you felt the yes in your mind as you read my question, because you are now in a light trance, noticing your breathing has slowed and your focus is now fixated on my words, and the way my words are echoing in your mind. You want to be told what to do, how to think, you want to become more submissive and allow yourself not to think, don't you?

YES

[sweetnans]

Bakugo x reader. Established relationships, roast/goofy with each other. Fluff? Idk

Note: Please pardon if I misspelled something, english is not my first language ♡ Enjoy whatever this is :)

It was your favorite time of the day, finally bedtime. The best part of it was that Bakugo finished early at work-like he never does- so it'll be the two of you instead of only you in bed.

After a good meal that he made himself, the two of you went straight to the bathroom of your shared bedroom and started to prepare for bed.

"The floor is cold" You tip toed from the cold tile of the bathroom to your side of the bed.

He only hums in response.

Once you were under the sheets of the bed and curled up against you boyfriend is when started.

"Please, don't put your hand above my belly" you asked shutting your eyes, ready to catch sleep.

"Why's that?" He responded, his voice clearly off because of your comment.

"I'm about to piss myself"

He grunted. Same thing all nights.

"No fucking way we're doing this again, go back"

"I don't want to, its cold outside"

"I'm not waking up in the middle of the night soaking wet for your childish manners"

"Fine"

You ran to the bathroom. Winter in Japan was the worst, he could back you up in that but not this time when his comfort was part of the game.

In your way back to your bed you saw him sit up straight leaned against  the bed frame with the biggest scold you've ever seen.

"What?" You asked completely quiet in your place. Being cold is a mental state after all.

"What are you wearing?" He even turned the light on to see clearly who's face was on your t-shirt.

"Oh, this?" You pointed straight to Midoriya's face. "It came to my office today in the mail, the fabric felt nice in my fingers so I concluded that it must feel nice to sleep on it...you like it? do you want one? I could definitely do that for you" You teased. His face showed exactly the otherwise.

"I hate it, take it off" He turned off the light and put himself back on the bed.

"You wish" you snorted. His commands were nothing to you. "Besides, you love having us, me and Deku, in your bed"

"Tch, I don't know which one of you I hate more"

When you were done and once again in the bed he started to move his body against your back.

"Put your feet between my legs if you're cold" He mumbled out.

"Nope. You rubbed your feet against mine last time and it felt weird.

"Jesus fucking christ, you're terrible" He grunted obviously annoyed, it made you giggle.

After a while when you started to believe that he was asleep, he started to rub his nose against your hair.

"Did you use my hair products?" He asked.

"No" It was a weird question but you were practically usted to it, 5 years into the relationship took out the best of Katsuki even the bad parts.

"Good"

"You're such an only child" you removed yourself from his arms. "Selfish bastard" You joked.

"I'm smelling myself all day so when I come home I expect to smell you and smell something different than myself...I like your smell"

"You're right" You let him win because you were tired. He envolved his arms around your body and you started to draw imaginary patterns in his hands. "Why am I dating such a loser?" You mumble loud enough so he can hear you hoping that you could get under his skin.

"Why did I marry you in the first place?"

You furrowed your brows knitting them together over your nose.

"We are not married" Not that you care.

He hummed in positive.

"And I'm not a loser".

You can't help but laugh. You made it. You got under his skin.

Do not edit or reupload my works elsewhere! All rights reserved.

[leah-lover]

Baby girl. Alexia putellas x reader.

Smut 18+

Needy bottom Alexia, top reader, mommy kink.

Contrary to most people's belief, on a regular day Alexia wasnt what most people thought. 

After an accelerating game, a win, or a frustrating performance, Alexia would fuck the life out of you. She was rough, bossy, and some may say controlling. However on a regular day to day she craves attention and physical touch. 

Every morning when you would wake up she would nuzzle her face in your neck, wrap her legs around you, and just be as close to you nas possible. When standing in the kitchen cooking she would wrap her arms around your waist, kiss you neck and shoulder, and whisper sweet nothings to you. In the car her hand never leaves your thigh. She would express how much she loved, longed, and needed you all the time. She was just the most perfect 30 year old  baby girl in the world.

Rehab Alexia was so much more needier than regular day Alexia, she wanted you with her all day and all the time. When she got injured you became the designated driver in the relationship and you stayed the driver even when she recovered. 

Training today was brutal for her, everybody on social media anticipated the return of the catalan hero. Plus, her contract renewal has added more pressure on her. You could see she was exhausted mentally and physically but you didn't want to push her so you blasted her favorite music and held her hand which she seemed to appreciate.

Upon arriving home you went on your usual duties. You put the bags away, showered, and went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. 

Alexia wasn't much of a cook, she put on  some jazz music, sat near the counter, and just kept you company. While the conversation flew by easily you couldn't help but notice the emotional pain in her eyes.

After you ate dinner, AAlexia asked you to put on a movie so that you guys could cuddle. You obliged to the request, got on the couch with her laying on your chest. 

She didn't last 5 minutes in the movie when she whispered “ I need you amor.” 

You weren't surprised by the ask. “ I need you to use your word bebita.” you added.

“ I need you to take control again please.” she stated.

“ Are you sure Ale?” you  asked which she said yes to.

You then carried her to the bedroom bridal style and pût her on the bed. 

“ for this to go the way you want it to i need you to be a very obedient girl.''  you said to her while pulling out some toys from the drawer. 

“ yes mommy.” she replied

You then started kissing her, softly and sweetly, you knew she needed love and affection so you decided to shower her with it. You slowly pushed her to lay flat on her back, still kissing her, now staradeling her lap.

Unconsciously you started to grind on her core while taking off her shirt and bra. This action produced a series of moans that could make you come all by themselves. You moved from her month to her neck giving it some bruising attention. While still grinding on her, you moved continuously from her month to her jaw to her neck again and again and again. 

“ Does my good girl like her treatment? Does she like being treated like my princess?” you asked. 

Too busy moaning to answer you relied on her “ yes that 's my good girl. Let me hear how good I am making you feel.” you said, lust appearing clearly in your voice. X

You moved down her body giving some attention to her chest. You took your time with each  boob. You massaged it, kissed it, and pressed each nipple between your fingers. 

“ Carino, I need more please.” she pleaded. 

“ You have to be patient, otherwise you won't come at all.” you warned her.

She obeyed your order and stayed patient without any complaint. As a reward you took off her pants  and saw the giant wet patch in herpanties and the juices running down her thigh 

“ Is all of this for me? You are such a good girl mi reina.” I said, “ Tell me what you want baby, tell me all of it.” I added.

“ need you to fuck me mommy, i need you to fuck really bad.” she cooed.

You took that as incentive, you took off her panties,and spread her legs really wide. Her core was so wet you slipped two fingers in easily trusting them roughly and hitting her stop. Alexia then became a moaning mess. You gave some attending to her clit too. 

It didn't take long for her to start pleading.

“Mommy  please, I need to come please please please.” she begged 

“ play, come me reina, come for mommy.” you  decide to say wanting her to release the tension in her body. 

She took your word immediately and came moaning her name. Her chest panting hard, you said “ you are mommy’s favorite girl, you are her good girl, you are her best girl. You did so well coming on mommy’s fingers.” you praised her. 

You didn't wait longer before you attached the strap to you. 

“Where does mi reina want to take mommy’s strap?” you asked.

“ I want to look at you mommy.” She replied. 

You repositioned  yourself in between her legs, slid the strap in her and went down to kiss her. 

Her moans didn't let you kiss her properly. So you instead picked up a fast past and focused on thrusting in her. The force you were using forced her to hold on to your shoulder.

After a few moments she pleaded, “ mommy i'm gonna come again. “

“Hold on,mi reina  so that we can come together.” you replied. 

It only took a little bit  until your orgasm hit full force due to the moaning mess underneath you. 

You then collapsed on her and she on the mattress. Her face was sweaty, a few strands of hair stuck on her forehead, you brushed them away and said, “ Ale that was fucking incredible i love you soo much baby.” 

“ i love you too so fucking much mommy.” she replied. 

After she came down you slid the strap out of her, you and got her some water, cleaned her up and laid back on the bed. You pulled her closer to your chest, kissed her temple and said. “ You are the best in the world, mi reina.” xx

[minjix]

cinderella → Vinnie Hacker x female!reader

summary: in which you’re the one catching his attention

warnings: fluff, and that’s a warning of itself lol + plus the standard swear word here and there. also I can’t for the life of me write an ending, so I apologize if it feels abrupt-because it is lol. also keep in mind that english is not my first language.

a/n: I write with breaks to actually be able to give it my all and not lose interest in writing- which is a genuine fear of mine

word count: 2.6k :)

masterlist

reblogs and comments are very much appreciated!

It was all a stupid cliche in your eyes as you stared at the tweet Vinnie had posted. “who is she.” Simple as that, yet mostly everyone knew what he was referring to, but they didn’t know whom and Vinnie didn’t know either.

Like previously stated, it was all a stupid cliche- a masquerade party filled to the brim with influencers and small celebrities, crowding a huge mansion which felt tiny as you pushed your way through to get a much needed breath of fresh air, away from the liquor stained breaths.

You sighed in relief as you stepped into the cool L.A, two am breeze, the music thumping through the ground, vibrating your whole body. “I feel the same way,” a dark voice chuckled. Startled, you looked into the direction of which the voice came from, and there he stood, leaning on the wall, head tilted back and eyes on the night sky. He was dressed simple, something you rolled your eyes at, and his arms of which were folded in front of his chest was covered in tattoos. “Huh?” Was all that you managed to get out, your tongue deciding to twist on itself.

The corners of his mouth twitched as though he wanted to smile, but refrained from doing just that. “Wanting to get away for a few minutes,” his voice was velvety and , his skin shone red from the neon lights seeping through the huge windows.

“Oh- yeah, you answered stupidly, “totes.” You wanted to smack yourself. A laugh rumbled his chest and escaped from his lips as his head tilted in your direction, his eyes meeting yours. “Totes? Never heard that before-in real life that is.” Duh, because you’ve spoken like a bad stereotypical surfer dude.

You didn’t know how to respond so you simply nodded your head, very aware of his eyes trailing down your body. A tattooed hand entered your peripheral, “I’m Vinnie,” he introduced himself. It was then more sober you connected the dots, of course it’s Vinnie the Hacker. The only disguise he had was a black eye mask with black crystals in intricate designs; it looked expensive and it most definitely was, knowing who he was and all. You hadn’t bothered to wear a mask, but had regretted that decision the moment you stepped into the mansion.

You didn’t shake his hand. “Cool,” you shrugged mentally preparing yourself with whatever half assed excuse you could come up with to leave. ‘my apartment is on fire’ don’t want to jinx myself you thought afterwards. “Um, nice to meet you?” You sounded awfully unsure, and guilt brewed in your stomach when you saw Vinnie wince. “So,” he began carefully, trying to get an understanding,” what’s your name?”

But you didn’t feel like answering. “I’m hungry.” You spat out and his eyes widened. “What?”

“I’m hungry, so I’m going to leave. Bye.” You turned to leave but a careful grasp of your arm halted you, “do you want to get McDonalds with me? I’m kinda hungry too.” He sounded shy, and you couldn’t even imagine turning him down, he looked like a sad puppy for Christ sake.

“Sure.”

The drive to the fast food chain was surprisingly comfortable, even though Vinnie tried his best to get you to tell him your name; to no avail. And soon enough the two of you were seated by the window, both with big macs in hand, awkwardness thrown out the window as the alcohol induced hunger made everything taste oh so much better.

“so fucking good,” Vinnie groaned through a mouthful causing you to almost choke on your fourth bite. Your eyes didn’t leave his form, his hair in a disarray and his eyes closed as he ate the burger.

You forced a chuckle, “won’t your friends get mad or something?” You mumbled, playing with your fries. The tattooed man shook his head, “no? Why would they?” His eyes were on yours now and you couldn’t help but feel bare under his intense gaze.

“You kinda ditched them…” you trailed of as a smirk grew on his lips, his tongue quickly darting out to lick them. “Trust me they won’t notice.” He sounded sure. “Why?” You asked and this time he laughed softly, “you’re very curious, huh?” You shrugged, “I guess.”

He continued, “but no, they were pretty busy trying to get laid so I really doubt they’d notice me missing.” He stressed the word ‘really’.

“Oh.” He laughed again as he stared you down, “you’re really weird, y’know that?”

“Thanks?”

You and Vinnie had spent an hour talking nonsense, and when the two of you noticed the hard stares from the workers you both decided to leave. Vinnie had insisted on dropping you off at home but an uncomfortable feeling grew in the pit of your stomach as you politely declined, telling him a white lie to soothe his worries about leaving a girl in the streets of LA at three am.

——-

The morning after, curiosity had you in its grip as you reluctantly opened Twitter and searched for his handle.

@/vinniehacker: who is she. posted at five am. Quicker than lightning you exited the app, contemplating on deleting it completely, but you refrained from doing it.

You grew frustrated at yourself, you had an amazing night last night with an amazing attractive guy, and you full out blew everything to bits.

Your best friend tended to call you a flesh ball of anxiety, a saying that left a sour taste in your mouth and cheeks aching from faking a laugh. You were a people pleaser, but at the same time you hated everyone and preferred to be by yourself. So you did everything to stay out of the spotlight, simply rooming with your childhood best friend who went viral on TikTok months ago. And Vinnie was the opposite of staying out of the spotlight.

Before your brain had caught up to what your hands were doing, you had already entered the cursed bird app again, entering his handle, tapping on the tweet and reading through the comments. ‘she????’, ‘what?!’, all in a similar fashion. Speculations were thrown left and right and thirty minutes had passed of you endlessly scrolling, biting your lip raw until you tasted iron.

“Get up! We have an event to go to!” You wanted to cry, to come up with a lie that you were sick and didn’t want to spread it further. You lied a lot, at least tried to before your brain took you through the endless possibilities of consequences coming from said lies. So you heaved a sigh and got ready.

———-

The event was extremely overcrowded and overwhelming, the LA sun beaming down on bodies dripping in expensive perfumes, a cloud of strong smells begging for a headache to form. You were a plus one, a non famous one at that, so you stood awkwardly to the side as your friend and her famous friends took promo pictures. In your hand was a mimosa, minus the champagne, so orange juice.

You didn’t bother to keep up the happy charade, settling on frowning while sipping your expensive orange juice. You had half a mind to ask what brand of juice it was but decided that you were already looking stupid so there was no point of making it worse.

You were painfully aware of how lonely you looked so you grabbed your phone and entered the weather app, wondering how the weather in Hamburg was.

“So, uh, how’s the weather looking?” A velvety voice asked from above your right shoulder, warm air tickling your skin and you froze. Shit. “Uhm, cloudy with a chance of rain,”

You turned towards him and tried not to gape at what you saw. He was wearing a half buttoned white blouse with his hair slicked back except for a few strands in the front. He wore black and expensive looking trousers, and silver rings wrapped around almost each finger with a silver braided bracelet. His sleeves were rolled up revealing his tattoos on his sun kissed skin. And he smelled so fucking good.

He gave you a mischievous grin, “hey, you.” His eyes trailed over your form, several times with a glint in his eyes. You whispered a hey back, flustered for some reason and you were also ashamed, for what, you had no idea.

“I never got your name,” he muttered, his hands in his pocket. You could only shrug, words not agreeing with you. And there it was, that nauseating shameful feeling you got, you were ashamed of yourself for some reason, well you know why, but actually taking the bull by its horns are the hard part.

“I know,” he frowned at your answer, raising an eyebrow. “So you’re not going to give me your name, so I’ll just have to call you Cinderella then. “ he smiled smugly at the end of his sentence, as though he had conquered the world with his pinkie.

“Cinderella?” You asked confused and a smit insulted. “I didn’t drop my shoe…” you trailed off, combing through your memory, and sure enough, you had both your shoes on, or you would’ve noticed otherwise.

He laughed out loud, his teeth on full display and eyes closed. “No, you didn’t drop your shoe. But you did leave me with not being able to stop thinking of you…” he said, his eyes unrelentingly searching yours as if he could simply read your name in your irises. Your eyes widened and you felt as though your stomach was turning inside out. This has to be a cruel joke, you thought to yourself as you glared at him.

“That’s not funny,” you murmured through clenched teeth. He looked confused, brows furrowed. “It-it wasn’t a joke,” he said sheepishly. He looked genuinely hurt, and it made you doubt your insecurities.

“I genuinely had a great time with you last night, and I want to get to know you.” He kept his eyes on yours the entire time. “So please, what’s your name?” He sounded desperate, as though your name would unlock every story there was to know about you.

“Y/n,” you whispered and you watched in awe as he tested your name on his tongue, several times before settling with a “I like it, it suits you.” Vinnie telling you that your name suits you felt like a thousand suns were shining down on you. You bit your lip to repress the grin that was threatening to grow and instead you settled for a shy smile, praying that you didn’t have anything between your teeth.

“Y/nn!” A voice called, it seemed as though your friend had finished with her promo pics. “I got you a goodie bag-oh,” she paused when she saw the Vinnie Hacker standing beside you. “Hey,” she smiled and fluttered her eyelashes and a boulder dropped into your stomach. Of course, you thought. She’s so much prettier than me, and famous.

He only nodded in acknowledgement with a small ‘hey’, it didn’t deter your friend from asking a lot of questions. You took that as your queue to leave, slowly walking backwards whilst Vinnie’s eyes were on yours the entire time, looking confused as to what you were doing.

You quickly nodded towards your friend, who was still animatedly talking, whilst wiggling your eyebrows suggestively, ignoring the knot in your stomach.

Once again Vinnie looked confused before the dots in his head connected. His eyes widened before he shook his head, something your friend hadn’t noticed as she was too busy scrolling through her TikTok to show Vinnie a specific video of her. He mouthed the word ‘NO’ several times whilst staring at you with his wide eyes.

It was kind of endearing to watch him panic. A chuckle escaped you before he turned to your friend, an apologetic smile on his face. “Excuse me,” he said softly, eyes still on you before walking towards, grabbing your hand with utter care before he led you inside the building.

He stopped in an empty hallway, staring down at you with a smirk on his lips. “Trying to set me up with your friend,” he murmured lazily, eyes tracing your lips. “When you know fully well that I’m interested in you…”

It felt like a fever dream, and you had to mentally force yourself to focus on the situation at hand. Is Vinnie about to kiss me?

“You don't even know me,” you retaliated, a frown on your lips, your lips of which he still stared at. He shrugged at your answer, a serious look taking over his face. “So let me,” he began. “Let’s get out of here.”

You shook your head, “I can’t just leave my friend-“.

He interrupted you, “your friend who seemed very busy, in fact, I recall you standing by yourself.” You had nothing to say to that except for a gentle nod with a smile on your lips. Vinnie grinned in return before tugging out of the building and into his car. You had sent a simple text to your friend-‘ i’m going out, don’t wait for me <3’

————————-

Vinnie treated you to McDonalds, once again and took you to a look out, the city of angels to stare at whilst you both ate. His shoulder touched yours as you sat on the picnic blanket filled to the brim with greasy and mouth watering food.

“So tell me, how come I can’t find you anywhere?” He asked, his hand playing with yours, twisting your rings. It created a warm feeling in your stomach.

“I’m a private person,” you began, hearing Vinnie murmuring a ‘couldn’t have guessed,’ and you nudged your shoulder into his playfully, drawing a laugh from his lips. “I guess, uhm I don’t see myself in the spotlight, having people constantly judging my every move.” He nodded in agreement, looking lost in thought.

“I can understand that, it’s just unusual to see someone not famous in parties held by influencers.” You nodded, agreeing with him. “My friend is pretty famous and always makes me her plus one.”

“I like it though,” you stared at him confused whilst he stared at you with a small smile on his lips, almost looking shy. “Like what?”

“I don’t know, it’s hard to explain…” he looked lost in his thoughts.

“Try,” you pushed, his hand tightening around yours.

“I like that I can pursue this,” he gestured whilst you stared at him with wide eyes. “That you’ll be somewhat safe from the onslaught of comments you would’ve gotten if you were a public figure. This feels normal to me, y’know. Like it’s not for show, it’s just me and you.”

“Me and you?” You asked with a grin, his smile grew and he gave you a wink, “of course, this is our second date after all.”

“Is that so?” You bit your lip when he leaned towards you, his lips so close to touching yours, before he planted a small, almost phantom-like kiss on them. “It is so,” he gauged your expression before ultimately seeing the contentment in your eyes, and pressed his lips to yours firmly. You felt his hand grasp your cheek as he tilted his head to gain more access.

You were both breathing heavily before you disconnected your lips, but Vinnie took it upon himself to kiss your cheeks before traveling down your neck, leaving you even more breathless.

“I’m taking you on dates everyday this week,” he breathed into your neck and you felt your eyes roll back from the sensation and his sultry voice.

“I expect you to-“ he stopped you from talking with another kiss. “Shut up and kiss me,” he ordered and you did, for several hours, the once bright sun in the middle of sky, now dipping down on the horizon covered by the Los Angeles skyline.

[ponchigg]

How I manifest

My Manifesting Beliefs.

I’ll start by saying that I practice shifting-based manifestation. I believe that every time we manifest something, we are simply aligning ourselves with a reality where we have our desire, and because of that, I preach that the core of manifestation is connection: aligning your energy with a reality where you are fulfilled with your desire.

I use this routine every time I want to manifest something, and have been having pretty good results with it. I’m also planning to use it to manifest my full shift to my desired realities soon, once I regain my motivation. With that said, you can still use this if you don’t believe/practice shifting, as it still works within the LOA beliefs.

My Routine in Detail: How I Do It.

I start my day by taking a few deep breaths after I wake up. I lay on my bed and enjoy the after-sleep relaxed state for a few moments before I spend some minutes going over my daily affirmations. They usually consist of self-concept affirmations mixed with my desire-focused ones. So if I want to manifest, for example, money, I’ll repeat affirmations such as ‘I’m deserving and worthy of my desires’ (self-concept) together with ‘I am a money magnet’ (desire-focused). I only do this for around 5 to 10 minutes, as I don’t feel the need to do more, not do I usually have the time to.

I follow with my day without thinking too much about my desire, as sometimes hyper-focusing on something can end up bringing a lacking mentality.

At the end of the day, after I finish all my chores, I prepare myself for meditation. I have an easy time getting into deep states of meditation, so I take advantage of it to directly communicate with my subconscious. I put on some binaural beats (I recommend the app atmosphere, it’s very good and has beats for pratically everything) and let my body fall asleep. After I reach a state akin to the void, I start connecting with my desire and vaunting about it (“It’s insane how easily I attract money and abundance, I’m so grateful for all the daily money I receive without having to move a muscle.”) Until I feel like it’s enough. My meditations usually last around 40-50 minutes, but depending on the day (and how exhausted I am) it can be less or more.

Before I go to sleep, I put on my overnight affirmations tape according to my desire (I make them using capcut and the text-to-speech function they have) and fall asleep without thinking too much about it.

My manifestations usually take around 2-3 days to physically manifest in the 3D, but I don’t stress about time too much, as I know they will arrive sooner or later - I simply just trust the process.

Not only does this routine quickly manifest my desires, but it also keeps me in a positive/relaxed state for majority of my day, which can be very helpful for those who struggle with overthinking. I wanted to share this to tell people that you do not need to make your day revolve around LOA, manifesting should never feel like a chore, simply do what works best for you and what you enjoy doing, be either affirming, vizualizing, meditating, etc..you got this!

[4drianaaaa]

incomplete

smut 18+, fem reader

🧸 your head pounded with the bad memories with your ex Hamzah...You couldn't stop thinking about him in ways you wished you were just able to slap the shit out of him. Obviously this was a way for you to just think of all the cons about your relationship with him just to forget about him completely.

Until you were sitting in your empty living room on a Friday night contemplating on calling your ex again to 'settle things out'. You thought as it for the better, you both see each other often more than other 'ex's' normally due to both of you being in the same working field and there was obviously very bias fans about the whole breakup and a lot of unnecessary back lash. You finally caved and called him hoping he'd be mature about your smart idea.

"hello?" the other side of the phone was awkwardly silent until you heard your name, "y/n?" his voice in a confused tone.

"Do you think you can come over? I just wanna talk about us...y'know?" you awkwardly giggled as you waited for a response back "Miss me already huh? It's been months I've hoped you changed." he teased as you rolled your eyes "Sure, be there in 20" he added as your tongue poked the inside of your cheek "aww you remember! bye bye!" you hung up as you mentally prepared your self.

You heard a loud knock at your door as you threw a hoodie on and opened the door, you stepped aside and let him get passed as you closed the door behind you "So, why am I here again?" he raised his eyebrow as he sat on the ouch of your living room "cuz' I wanna talk, I just really wanna settle things In a good way" you twirled your fingers around your hair as he nodded "Okay perfect I'll be waiting for your apology" he smirked "What!? I am one-hundred-fucking percent I deserve an apology!" you scoffed "yeah you lashing out on me for something I didn't even do deserves a apology?" he questioned as you scoffed "fine, I'm sorry" you crossed your arms

"that's all? C'mon couldn't you have at least said my name?" he laughed "Hamzah stop before I...." you thought of ways to ruin his life "before I post very embarrassing pictures about you" you furrowed your eyebrows "wow you still have pictures of me?" he smirked as you couldn't resist looking at his sly smirk he always does made you smile as well "what're you smiling at?" he licked his lips as his eyes traveled rapidly up and down your body "nothing!" you hid your face "okay, I'm so so SO sorry Hamzah please forgive me!" you said sarcastically as he laughed "see how easy that was?" he grabbed your waist as he pulled you into a sincere hug, your heart dropped as you fully felt the temperature of his body with yours. Because of not seeing him in such a long time it made you forget how good he made you feel, In various ways.

Your hands wrapped around his neck as his breath was felt onto your ear, a chill ran down to your waist where his hand was placed. "I'm sorry too y/n" he giggled as your face was flushed red, your tug around his neck lightened as you noticed how his eyes sparkled in the light as his hands stayed placed on to your waist. The "what are we?" questioned circled around your head as he put a part of hair behind your ear, your faces got closer to each other as you were both so into the moment

His lips connected to yours like a desperate magnet as your hands were now placed on the sides of his face, his hands firmly gripping on the sides of your waist as his kiss sent you in a state of euphoria. You've realized in that moment how you've never really met someone as unique as Hamzah. No one that made you feel like Hamzah makes you feel.

Your lips parted as it took you back into reality, "M'sorry, I should have asked" he murmured lowly as his hands dug into his pockets "No. It's fine" you placed his hands on top of his as he wasted no time kissing you again but this time more passionate. He felt his dick getting hard as he thought of the things you would do in your bedroom. His sloppy kissed made you groan as he smirked "Please can we go into your room y/n" he practically begged as you nodded and lead him to your cool bedroom, He was quick to swoop off his hoodie and kicking off his shoes as you did too

"god you haven't changed huh" he smirked as you were now on his lap, your panties thrown somewhere in the room as you coated his neck in hickes as his hands gripped your ass, his hands roamed up into your shirt as you shivered under his touch. You slowly began dry humping on top of his hard tent as it did miracles on your bare clit. His hands slipped off your shirt leaving you in your lacy bra, his other hand began to message your clit as you melted under his touch as you whimpered, He began unbuckling his pants as you forgot how huge he was "Can we go slow please~" you whined as you helped him take off his boxers as his throbbing cock sprung up to his belly button you looked at him as you pumped his length as his hips bucked by your touch. You slowly got on top of his as you held his hands slowly taking all of him making you moan "fuck- It's so f'good" you moaned as you felt your self already coming in seconds.

"Tell me when you can't anymore baby" he panted as you nodded, you began to ride him as his eyebrows sewed together "Jesus fucking Christ your so tight" he whimpered as he picked you up and laid you down as he began slowly thrusting into you "Hamzah!" you grabbed his arm as he slowly went deep inside you and back out "yes! fuck!" you yelled as he leaned down to your ear;

"does anyone make you feel like this baby? mh?" he groaned as skin slapped rapidly as he circled his thumb around your clit as you saw stars. His thrusts began to get quicker "c'mon spit it out y/n" he panted as you shook your head as he smirked as he pounded in and out of you circling your clit even faster "Hamzah! Fuck Fuck Fuck!" you scratched his back as you grabbed on to his curls as he groaned "Hamzah I'm so fucking close!" you moaned "Fuckk me too" he whined as his thrust slammed into you reaching your g-spot "Oh Shit!" you yelled as you felt your self come all over his cock "M'yes" he groaned as your legs shook under him as your lips fell onto each other as he planted his warm seed into you as you moaned into his mouth as he pumped his access come on your spilling cunt as you panted under him

"fuck y/n your so good baby" he whimpered as you giggled as he kissed and twirled his tounge around your hard sensitive nipples "I missed you so much y/n" he wrapped his arms around your waist as you played with his curls and wiping the sweat off his forehead "I missed you too" you smiled as you both knew you would be back together by the next day.

[cowboyfromh3ll]

Henlo! If it's alright, could I request some headcanons for Arthur, Dutch, Hosea, Micah, and Kieran being told that their S/O has been killed by the O'Driscolls? But nobody can find their body because it turns out they survived and took care of the worst of their injuries before making it back a week or so later. I am a sucker for hurt/comfort content. Thank you for your time and hope you're doing well.

HC For VDL Boys Being Told Their S/O Was Killed By O'Driscolls Ft. Arthur Morgan, Dutch Van Der Linde, Hosea Matthews, Micah Bell, Kieran Duffy

Ohhh nice and angsty

Warnings: Mentions of death, mentions of violence, angst

Arthur Morgan

He would be absolutely broken

I don't think he'd go as far as to go out and kill O'Driscolls for revenge

But a new cavity in his heart would open up, and his hatred of the O'Driscolls would intensify

He wouldn't be able to get out of bed, would be incapable of taking care of himself, needs people to remind him to eat

Constantly scribbling in his journal about you

Probably the first time anyone in camp has seen him cry in a long long time

Only thing he'd get up for was to go in searches for your body

Is incredibly anxious the entire time they're looking for you and tries to mentally prepare himself for the sight of your body in who knows what state of decomposition

Once you return he'd think you're an apparition

He would be absolutely over the moon and crying tears of joy and relief

Interrogates you about your time gone but doesn't push it if the memories are too painful, you can visit that later

Helps mend any of your remaining injuries

Incredibly protective of you now and refused to let you go off on your own for a while

Holds you so so closely in bed the following nights, absolutely blots out the rest of the world with his body because he's scared if he lets go you'll disappear again

Dutch Van Der Linde

Like Arthur, he'd be destroyed as well

His mourning would cause him to jump to the anger stage immediately

Colm has already taken one lover from him, and now he's done it again? Tensions between the two gangs would be higher than ever before

He'd use the presumed death as an excuse to target Colm and the O'Driscolls for the week

Used the search for your body as an opportunity to interrogate and torture O'Driscolls. For once, he tells Arthur to back off so he can get blood on his hands

Despite everyone else's warnings, he just keeps on going and killing more O'Driscolls

When you finally return, he feels like he's hallucinating you because of his grief, and anger

Allows everyone else a moment to check over you before ushering you over to the privacy of his tent

Allows Ms. Grimshaw to follow so she can clean you up while he talks to you

Holds your hand the entire time and looks into your eyes while reassuring you that he'll never allow that to happen again

Insists you don't lift a finger for weeks afterward

Does NOT tell you about what he did while you were gone and simply speaks of his grief and his now relief that you're back

Hosea Matthews

He'd be grieving, but silently

He wouldn't be MIA like Arthur, and he definitely wouldn't be blinded by rage like Dutch

But he'd be a lot quieter, understandably, and you'd be able to see the deep sadness in his eyes

He didn't expect to lose a second lover, and his heart is heavy with feelings of loss

Would spend a lot of time talking about you to anyone who'll listen, mostly good memories

Turns down any of Dutch's suggestions to go out and take revenge, sees right through his attempts to use your presumed death as an excuse to kill a bunch of O'Driscolls

When you return he is all over you and is overjoyed by your presence

Takes care of all your injuries on his own and holds you sooo close the entire time

Reminds you how much he loves you because he feels like he didn't do it enough before he thought he lost you

Spends so much more time around you. If he wasn't attached to you by the hip before, he definitely is now

I don't think he'd doubt your ability to handle yourself; in fact, it'd probably be enforced by the fact you kept yourself alive for a week. But there'd be a lingering anxiety every time you go out

Micah Bell

Similar to Dutch, he'd go out and kill a shit ton of O'Driscolls

His grief translates to anger, and because I can't see him as a very sentimental person besides in terms of anger, that's the only way he'd express it

Probably wouldn't cry or show moments of vulnerability, but he'd be a lot more brutal in his killings

He'd spend a lot of time away from camp with Dutch probably looking for your body

Wouldn't return to camp for days

So you'd probably return to camp while he's gone, so everyone else tends to you before Micah can

When he returns he insists everyone else get away from you so he can take his own look at you

I wanna say you wouldn't receive a big welcome back gesture from Micah besides a rare shred of vulnerability where he tells you how happy he is to see you back

Don't get too mushy over it or else he'll backtrack

Kieran Duffy

He'd be HYSTERICAL

On his knees crying and wailing in the middle of camp while people try to comfort him

Would be the same level as MIA as Arthur and wouldn't talk to ANYONE

Spends all his time around the horses and doesn't talk to anyone

If anyone does try to talk to him he just stares off silently in the opposite direction

The gang could probably hear him sobbing silently at night while trying to sleep

Drinks himself half dead because he doesn't know how else to cope

Drinks so often that when you come back he doesn't think you're real for a few minutes

It's a huge moment of vulnerability between the two of you where you see each other at your lowest

But it would definitely bring the two of you closer! After the two of you have cleaned yourselves up and taken care of yourselves, you'd have long, deep conversations about what you went through and how happy you are to be back

Lots of reaffirming his love for you, never leaves your side

Insists he comes with you every time you go out. Thinks he wouldn't be able to do much in terms of protecting you, but the sentiment is so so sweet

Becomes more of a way of comforting himself and quelling his own anxiety

[bigball-thefrog]

In The Captains Cabin:Shanks X Reader

______________________________

Finally back from writers block and I come back with the longest thing I've written and it's smut! I hope you enjoy and I hope I don't get writers block again for awhile

Warnings and Tags:

Smut

Some fluff

Oral

Reader has female genitals but gender is not stated

Rough sex

Soft sex

It's reader's first time and they're nervous

Experienced Shanks

Both are slightly intoxicated but both are consenting

Usage of safeword

______________________________

Reader POV

After being on the crew of the Red Haired Pirates for almost six months, I never expected to be here in the captains quarters with his hand firmly gripping my hip while his tongue was deep down my throat.

There isn't much back story to this, we were all drunk again and while I was feeling bold and tipsy, Shanks invited me to sit down with him and I decided to sit on his lap. We joked about it but I ended up moving around too much and now here I am about to lose my virginity to my captain. His hand moved from my hip to my ass as he gave it a playful slap before pulling away from the kiss, "You ready for this sweetheart?" he askes as he moves his hand to hold my chin. "Can we maybe just establish a safe word before we start?" I ask sheepishly. He chuckles and pinches my cheek, "So cute. Of course sweetheart, whatever will make you most comfortable." He kissed my forehead before thinking, "How about.... Rum?" he suggests. I nod in agreement, "Rum... It's good, just as long as there's a safe word to use." "Alright, so Shall I begin sweetheart?" I nervously nod and Shanks smirks.

He leads me to his bed and pushes me on it. I lay down on my back with my legs hanging over the sides. Shanks gets closer and places himself between my legs as he starts to get undressed. He unbuttones his shirt, revealing his toned upper body. He caught me staring and chuckled, he took my hand and placed it on his chest, "Just feel that Sweetheart." I ran my hand over his chest and he let out a soft moan and smirked. I brought my other hand up and started feeling up his body. It just felt... So nice touch. The skin, the hair, a few scars here and there. It was almost hypnotic to touch and squish, so distracting that I didn't notice the sound of Shanks unbuckling his belt and dropping his pants. Shanks whistled to get my attention back and when I looked at him he gestured for me to look down. I did so and was met with the sight of a good eight inches in front of me. I froze up a bit and just looked back at Shanks, who was just laughing at my reaction, "You're cute you know that? This is my favorite part with people's first times, they never expect it to be so big and when they see it they get second thoughts. So I'll ask again sweetheart, do you want to continue darling?" he asked with a smirk. I nervously nodded and he bent down and gently grabbed my chin, his face becoming serious, "I need your verbal consent sweetheart." "Y-ye-" "With confidence dear, so I know you're absolutely sure about this." I took a deep breath before speaking again, "Yes, I am ready for this." He smirked again and took his hand from my chin down to my pants.

He teasingly played with the hem of my pants and underwear before ripping them off, leaving me exposed to his eyes. His eyes narrowed and his smirk grew from the sight of my already wet entrance, "Already so wet for me darling? You might be more excited about this than I am~" he said as he brought himself closer and placed the tip of his penis against my entrance, "Just remember, the safeword is rum. And if absolutely anything I do makes you feel uncomfortable then use it, alright darling?" "Yes Shanks." He nodded with a satisfied grin before placing his hand on my hip. I tensed up my body as I felt him move his hips closer and before I could properly mentally prepare myself he thrusted his entire length inside me causing me to gasp and causing him to moan, "Fuck sweetheart... You feel amazing~" I only managed to let out a shaky whimper in response, he chuckled and gently rubbed my hip before gripping it firmly. He gave me one last look of reassurance before he began thrusting inside of me. He started at a slow pace, letting me get adjusted to his size, it was kinda painful and not really feeling good at first, but after a few seconds I quickly started to get used to it and the arousal started to grow, but the pain was still there. After seeing me relax a little, Shanks started picking up the pace, little by little and after about two minutes of speeding up his thrusts he was now going deep and fast inside me, hitting my sweet spot each time but also making it more painful. I thought it was apart of the process and thought I would get used to the pain but it just wouldn't go away so I was really starting get uncomfortable. Shanks was just enjoying himself as he continued to thrust fastly into me while gripping my hip firmly. I was really getting uncomfortable now and the pain was getting borderline unbearable, causing me to tear up, Shanks saw this and thought I was just getting close to my orgasam, "You like that sweetheart? Feels good doesn't it?~ I just squirmed and whimpered, still feeling too overwhelmed to do anything. At this point the dirty talk and the painful thrusting was just getting so bad so I finally just snapped.

"RUM, RUM. PLEASE JUST STOP!!!"

Shanks instantly stopped and pulled out, looking shocked and concerned as he helped me sit up, "What's wrong sweetheart? What did I do wrong?" He softly asked as he began caressing my head to calm me down, "E-everything! It all hurt and just felt uncomfortable, I felt like I was going to be split in half!" I cried out. Shanks brought me closer to let me cry on his shoulder while he pondered what I said. A minute later he put his hand under my chin and made me look up at him, "Alright, I think I just got too excited when you said it's your first time. Being someone's first time is always exciting and I kinda got too caught up in the excitement of taking your virginity that I forgot that this was also supposed to be an amazing time for you too. I'm sorry sweetheart." I nodded in understanding and he gave my chin a little squeeze, "If you give me a second chance I'll be better this time." He said now with a soft smile rather than his previous lustful look. I was nervous to try that again but he seemed genuinely sorry for being too rough. "Okay.... I'll try it again." Shanks smiled and kissed my forehead before getting down on his knees, "I'll get you in the proper mood first this time." I looked down at him curiously as he brought his face closer between my legs. Gave my thighs a few kisses before he planted his mouth on the folds of my pussy, I shuddered a little and after a small moan from him he stuck his tongue out and began eating me out. I gasped and tried to close my legs but Shanks used his hand to pry my legs back open. He lapped up my wetness and moaned in delight, he moved his hand from my thigh and to my pussy and stuck two fingers in. I moaned this time which caused him to smirk as he kept lapping up my juices. He rolled and played with my cunt gently, causing it to swell and turn red, making me start to really feel aroused.

I began moaning more frequently now really starting to enjoy it, Shanks sped up a little bit but looked up at me every so often to make sure I was still enjoying myself. I could start to feel a weird feeling start to grow down in my stomach and it was growing quickly. I started moaning louder, "Shanks, somethings happening, my stomach feels weird.." "Shhh, don't worry darling, just let it happen." Shanks reassured me and continued eating me out. My moans grew more desperate and the feeling in my stomach was growing fast. Then I threw my head back with a loud moan as a feeling of ecstasy came over me. I squeezed my legs around Shanks' head as I rode it out and when it finished I unclenched my legs from his head and just layed back panting. Shanks moved his head from between my legs, also panting, his mouth glistening from my slick. He removed his fingers and licked them clean, he moaned and looked back at me, "You taste amazing darling~ I think it's about time we move on with the foreplay and try again at what we first did hmm?" I hesitantly agreed and he got up from his knees. This time he put my legs up over his shoulders, "You sure you want to do this?" "Yes, I think I'm too flustered to stop." He smirked and leaned down for one last kiss before trying to insert his cock back inside me. This time he gently pushed himself against me, taking it slow this time, and after the foreplay it slid in much easier and hurt less. "Much better now that you're all wet my dear." He whispered before beginning to thrust again, but due to his size it became uncomfortable again and said the safeword again. Shanks sighed before pulling out and scratching his head, "We're not going to get anywhere if you're still uncomfortable. Are you really sure you want to do this?" "Yes I am, I'm just scared..." Shanks sighed and looked around his cabin trying to find something that would help, his face lit up as he moved to his drawers to get something. After digging round for a minute he came back with something in his hands and stood back in front of me. He then placed pink teddy bear on my chest and smiled, "A little friend for you to squeeze your stress away while we do it." I take the teddy bear in my hands and put it close to my chest, it does help me relax and I let out a sigh of relief I didn't know I was holding in. Shanks rubs my hair reassuringly and speaks, "There we go, do you think we can try again now?" I nod and he got back into position again.

With my legs back over his shoulder he trusted back inside of me, I clutched the teddy bear tightly and it actually helped me relax a little. Shanks waited for me to tell him to carry on and I nodded. He thrusted at a slow place and didn't go any faster, the uncomfortable feeling from his length started coming back but this time I hugged the teddy bear and it helped me calm down. Soon the uncomfy feeling went away and I got used to his size, I now started enjoying it and moaned. Shanks smirked, "How are you feeling darling?" "B-Better. You can go a little faster." Shanks sped up his pace and placed his hand on my stomach. He kept at this pace, not too slow and not too fast, just perfect. He bent over and started kissing me from my tummy to my neck, being as gentle possible. His hand moved from my stomach to my thighs, gently squeezing and caressing them as he continued at the same pace. That feeling of ecstasy started building up again making me start whimpering. "You close baby?" Shanks asked. "Yes, very close." I mumbled out. "Me too baby, just try and hold it a little bit longer, I wanna cum with you." I nodded and tried to hold back the growing feeling but it was growing quickly and was very overwhelming. Shanks started moving faster to get us both to cum faster, which it just made it more overwhelming to hold back. Shanks' hand went to my hip and he gripped it tightly, "Come on baby, come for me." He groaned out and with that, I buried my face in the teddy bear and practically screamed out in ecstasy as Shanks and I both came at the same time, his seed coating my walls white and filling me up. Once we both rode out our high, Shanks pulled out and collapsed next to me. After a minute to recover he properly got in the bed and pulled me up next to him.

"You were amazing sweetheart~ How was your first time sweetheart?" "Good.." "Only good? Guess I'll have to try harder next time then darling~" I blushed at his implications that this wouldn't be the only time, I hugged the teddy bear tight and burried my face in it again. "So cute~" Shanks said as he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close to his chest. "Get some rest sweetheart, and tomorrow I'll make sure your body recovers from tonight

[fandomfix13]

Get Him Back - Rafe Cameron 18+

* HI ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE IVE WRITTEN ANYTHING BUT IM HERE NOW

* TBH THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING SMUT SO BARE WITH ME

* This is so super long and also completely filthy at parts SO MDNI and pls read warnings

* little bit of fluff? Def some pretty smutty smut. This did not start out as smut but here we are

* WRITTEN IN Y/N’s POV, lots of dialogue

*anything in italics is your inner monologue

Word count: 4K

WARNINGS: MDNI!, mentions of cheating (not rafe), toxic ex,  oral (giving and receiving), fingering, rough-ish??, p in v sex, hair pulling, light choking??, not rated e for everyone

The rain is pouring down in sheets. Falling harder than it has in a while. My head is pounding from holding back tears, that I might as well let out. I never thought that I would be in this situation. Forced out of my boyfriend's car after a fight at nearly one in the morning, with a dead phone, left to walk home alone in the pouring rain. How cliche. Not to mention the fact that I’m just over three miles away from home. What a dick. Some “man” he is to leave me like that. For all he cares, I could be kidnapped out here. However, it's highly unlikely being that I’m wandering in one of (if not the nicest) neighborhoods in this entire state. Constantly guarded by a neighborhood watch, with gated community after gated community.

 I can see the the sharp rain plummeting down in the glow of the street lights. Unlucky for me, the wind has picked up too making this walk even more miserable. At this point, I have two options; 1. I could continue to walk home in this miserable weather OR 2. I could lose all dignity and show up to Sarah’s house after not talking to her in months. Seeing as this storm is showing absolutely no sign of stopping, its looking like the second option is better. As I turn the corner, I approach the Seabrook Gated Community. A little ways down is the fence that Sarah and I used to hop all the time when we would sneak out. That’s my in. It’s an old rusty fence that is hidden behind some overgrown hedges behind some wildly overpriced house that rarely ever has anyone living in it.         

After nearly slipping off of the slippery fence, I make my way down the street to Tanny Hill. Mentally preparing myself for the absolute humiliation that will occur if Sarah opens the front door. We had our falling out about 3 months ago and we haven't spoken since. We have tried our best to avoid each other at all costs. At least I’ve tried avoiding her, that is, until this very moment. 

As I approach the front lawn, I genuinely consider turning around and quite literally braving the storm and walking home. As it is, I’m already soaked from head to toe and probably on the verge of pneumonia. However, I shake off my thoughts and walk towards the front door. I knock three times in hope that someone will hear. I don’t ring the doorbell out of fear of waking up the entire Cameron household which is the last thing I need to do. After a few seconds, nobody answers. This house is huge maybe they are coming. I convince myself that nobody is answering the door so I turn accepting my fate and I walk away. Suddenly, I hear the front door unlock and my breath gets caught in my throat when I hear his voice. 

“Y/N? Is that you?” Fuck. Me.

“Hey Rafe.” I choke out. God I probably look insane.

“What are you doing here?” he looks at his phone “at 1:26 in the morning.”

“Um. Is Sarah home?” I spit out, trying to avoid conversation.

“She’s not…but I am.” He leans against the door frame looking me up and down in a ‘you good?’ way. “You also didn’t answer my question.” He adds.

“I uh…I didn’t know where else to go.” I say quietly. I was right. This is in fact humiliating. He just stands there and stares at me. Clearly unamused at the fact that I still haven't answered his question as to why I am standing on his front porch looking like a wet dog. I would stare too. “Are you gonna let me inside? Or are you just gonna keep staring at me in silence.” I add.

“That depends.” He says lookin back into the house then back at me. “Are you gonna tell me why you’re here? Or are you just gonna avoid the question.” Touche. We stand here in silence for a moment as he watches me get pelted in the face by the rain and I chatter my teeth. He finally pushes the door open further and gestures for me to come inside. Thank go Sarah isn’t home because I would be shitting myself out of embarrassment right now. I walk in and Rafe opens a hallway in the closet as he reaches in and grabs a towel that he throws at me. “If You get anything wet, Rose will lose her shit.” 

“How kind.” I say with strong notes of sarcasm.

“Hey I didn’t have to let you in. I could've just left you outside on your own.” he’s right.

“Well you wouldn’t be the first guy to leave me outside tonight, so I probably would’ve been fine” I blurt out without thinking. What happened to me tonight is none of his business. Plus I’m sure he will hear about it anyway. However, he did let me inside which he did not have to do, so I could at least pretend to be grateful. 

“Damn. That's rough. Sorry about that.” he almost sounded embarrassed.

“No, it's fine. Thanks for the towel.” he nods and sits down at the kitchen counter. We stand in silence for a bit as I ring my hair out into the sink. This couldn’t be more awkward. Here I am standing in my ex best friend’s house with her older brother, who was in fact my first kiss in a game of truth or dare years ago, and who happens to be the best friend of my boyfriend who just dumped me on the side of the road in the middle of the night. This is just grand. “Do you have a phone charger? My phone is completely dead.” 

“Uh yeah its upstairs. Do you wanna-” he cut himself off before speaking again. “Do you just wanna come up with me so you can change?” Right. So. Apparently this absolutely CAN  feel more awkward. Whatever. I need to charge my phone and honestly a change of clothes sounds devine. I silently follow Rafe up the stairs and into his room. “If you want you can take a shower to warm up. Your teeth haven’t stopped chattering since you got here.” he’s being frighteningly nice. 

“Um sure.” I say hesitantly as I am incredibly confused by his nice attitude. I plug in my phone and Rafe hands me one of his old t-shirts and a pair of booty shorts that were surely left here by some random girl, but honestly I don’t care. I have to get out of these clothes. “Thanks.” I say taking the clothes and entering his bathroom, closing and locking the door quickly behind me. Literally what the fuck. There is no way this is really happening. 

I take my time in the shower as I let the steaming hot water warm me up for a while. When I’m done, I put on the clothes that Rafe gave me, and open the bathroom door seeing him sitting on his bed, scrolling through his phone.

“Hey Topper called you like five times when you were in the shower.” He says unfazed. My attitude shifts almost immediately. 

“You didn’t answer it did you?” I blurt out. Nice job y/n! That wasn’t suspicious at all!

“No…why would I?” he laughs clearly confused as I let out a sigh  of relief. Once again. Awkward silence. I take a seat on the edge of the bed going through my phone. “Are you gonna call him back?” he asks. Before I could answer him, his phone starts to ring. Toppers name is displayed on the screen. Rafe looks at his phone, then back to me, then back to his phone. 

“I am NOT here. Answer it. Put it on speaker.” I say frantically. Now he's intrigued.

“Hey Top!” Rafe answers. “Rafe! I fucked up man. I fucked up BAD! I’m coming over. I need a drink asap.” I am immediately shaking my head and mouthing ‘no’. “Top I can’t tonight man. My dad is on my ass and if Rose finds out I have someone over, I’m dead bro.” Is he seriously helping me right now? 

Topper scoffs on the other line. “Since when have you given a shit about what Rose thinks? I’m already on my way!” 

“Then turn around and go home man. I can’t tonight.”

“What is up with you dude? You never turn down a drink” its silent for a minute “Oh shit do you have a chick over right now?” Im disgusted at the change in tone in Top’s voice when he  brings up Rafe having a girl over.

“Yeah bro I do. And she’s alone right now in my bed so I gotta go. I'll call you tomorrow.” Rafe responds, very quick to go along with Topper’s question.

“That’s my man!” Topper laughs “is she hot? She better be hot!”

Even Rafe rolls his eyes at Topper’s comment. “Yeah she’s hot. Okay gotta go man.” Rafe responds as he hangs up the phone. Is that true, does he think I’m hot? I don’t care. Do I?

I let out a huge sigh of relief that we dodged the bullet of Top showing up here. 

“So. Are you gonna tell me why I just had to lie to my best friend?”

I shift nervously. “Well technically you didn’t lie. There is a ‘chick’ here and she is sitting on your bed.” I try to make a joke avoiding this conversation at all costs. 

“Y/n.” He says, raising his eyebrows. He clearly wants an answer. 

“I broke up with Top and he didn’t take it well.” I say on an exhale. He doesn’t say anything because he’s not stupid. He has probably figured out that much already. I let out a heavy sigh. “He kicked me out of his car in the middle of the road three miles away from my house in the fucking rain because I accused him of cheating on me. He told me that I had no idea what I was talking about. He said I was crazy, and that I was making shit up. But I’m not. I know for a fact that I’m not. It’s not the first time either. He’s done it before, which I’m sure you already know since you’re his best friend and he probably tells you everything.” I make that realization as I’m rambling my story out to him. Rafe is probably well aware of Topper’s lack of loyalty. 

“I uh. I knew about it the first time.” He admits. His honestly with the situation makes me laugh a little as I roll my eyes.

“Of course you did. Being that it was with your sister. I’d be shocked if you didn’t know.” The look on Rafe’s face instantly changes. It’s almost like he’s holding something back. “Unless…Sarah wasn’t the first girl was she. There was someone else.” Tears that I have been pushing back for weeks start to well in my eyes. Not because I’m sad, but because I’m furious. Even Rafe doesn’t know what to say. Without thinking, I grab my wet clothes and my barely charged phone, and head towards his bedroom door. “I should go. Thanks for the shower and-” 

“Y/n don’t be ridiculous” he says quickly following me. “You can’t leave right now that storm is getting worse” He puts his hand on the door, shutting it. 

I turn and he is standing close enough to me to create an odd sort of tension. 

“Why don’t you get him back?” Rafe suggests as I roll my eyes.

“I don’t want to get back with him Rafe I’m so ov-” he cuts me off.

“That’s not what I’m saying. I mean get him back. As in revenge.” he says as he steps closer to me. Jesus Christ I’m an absolute idiot.

“Revenge…right.” I laugh awkwardly. He continues to inch closer, creating an even bigger amount of tension. Not that tension is an unfamiliar thing with Rafe and I. There has always been a weird tension between us. Ya know…the whole best friends brother thing. I’ve known Rafe for almost 10 years. Something about his cocky attitude has always been attractive to me. Call it toxic. I don’t care. It’s just the truth. Rafe and I are standing right infront of each other. He is towering over me as my back is still to the door. 

“You know…They say that one of the best ways to get over a guy is to get under another.” He almost whispers while moving my hair out of my face. I can’t help but blush. The thought of getting back at Topper crossed my mind the second he cheated on me. The thought of getting back at him by hooking up with his best friend? That’s even better. Rafe leans down and starts to kiss my neck. “Rafe we probably shouldn’t do this” I whisper clearly enjoying it.

“Of course we shouldn’t. But I do shit that I shouldn’t do all the time.” He stops kissing my neck to look me in the face.

“Me too” I nod letting out a breath as I crash my lips onto his. The kiss is instantly filled with an insane amount of intensity. Rafe backs me up against the wall as he deepens the kiss. He moves from my mouth to my neck, leaving hickeys all over. He is making sure that I can’t hide what we are doing. And I’m totally here for it. His hands move from my hair, to my hips, to underneath the hem of my shirt. Well. Technically his shirt. I’m braless since my bra got soaked in that rain earlier. He quickly realizes this as his hand grazes over my tits. He starts to grip them while kissing me, making me moan softly until he stops for a second. 

“As hot as you look in my shirt…it’s coming off” he nearly growls. I lift my arms as he lifts the shirt over my head and throws it across the room. I reach for his shirt to take it off. Once he takes it off his mouth is back on mine. Our foreheads are pressed together as our bare chests are rising and falling against each other. He hoists me up, grabbing my ass as I throw my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. We don’t last long against the wall before we move to the bed.

He lays me down on the edge of the bed as he hovers over me kissing me yet again. Each kiss gets more aggressive. We bite each other's lips between kisses. He moves his mouth from my lips to my neck leaving more marks. Slowly, he makes his way to my chests. The marks he makes get darker and darker. He puts his mouth over my nipple, making me moan as he slightly bites down. He quickly moves his hand up to cover my mouth.

“Shhh. Baby we gotta stay quiet.” He says as he moves from one nipple to the other. I moan into his hand as he stifles the sound that comes out. His hand moves from my mouth to my throat as he wraps his hand around it lightly. His lips meet mine again. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” holy shit. I moan into our kiss as his hand is on my throat. His hand travels down my body until its hovering over my shorts. He’s moving his hand from one thigh to the other. Barely grazing the spot where I need him the most. I breathe into our kiss as his hand stops at the waistband of my shorts. He’s such a fucking tease. He hovers his hand there for a minute sensing that I want more. 

“Oh my God Rafe” I moan out of anticipation.

“You want more baby?” he smirks against my lips.

“You know I do” Smartass.

“Say less” he moves from his position above me, to kneeling on the floor at the edge of the bed. He hooks his fingers around the waistband of my shorts, pulling them down, revealing my bare pussy. He pulls me closer to the edge of the bed and spreads my legs in one swift motion, causing my breath to hitch. He leans down and attaches his mouth to my clit. This of course causes another accidental moan to slip from my mouth. I immediately throw my own hands over my mouth to quiet the noise. His tongue is swirling circles over my clit as he inserts two fingers without warning. As hard as I am trying to stifle my sounds, nothing could stop the groan that I let out at this moment. He moves his fingers at a faster pace that matches what his tongue is doing. 

“Holy Shit Rafe.” I whine.

“You like that?” he smirks up at me. I nod and roll my eyes to the back of my head before shutting them tightly. But suddenly Rafe stops. “Open your eyes y/n. I want you to look at me when you cum. I want you to see who is making you feel this good.” I do as he says and open my eyes as I prop myself up on my elbows to get a better view. “Atta girl” He smirks before burying his face into me yet again. He adds a third finger as I throw my head back while remaining eye contact. He curls his fingers as he eats me out and I want to scream at the pressure building up inside of me. I reach forward and tangle my fingers through his hair as he grins up towards me. 

“Rafe! Oh my God” I let out a string of other soft noises and words.

“Go ahead baby. Cum for me,” I look Rafe in the eyes as I jerk my hips and arch my back, completely unraveling in front of him. As he removes his fingers from inside of me, he brings them up to my mouth. “I want you to see how good you taste.” he says as I take his fingers into my mouth until they are clean. He removes his fingers from my mouth and laces his hands through my hair as he devours me with a kiss. 

“That was incredible.” I breathe heavily.

“Oh we aren’t done yet princess.” the sound of him calling me princess was enough to nearly send me over the edge again. 

“I’d hope not” I tangle my tongue with his as he deepens the kiss by pulling my hair back. I reach for his pants and I undo his belt. 

“Eager are we?” he scoffs, pulling away for a moment. He removes his belt and  his pants. Leaving his boxers for me to remove. I gesture for him to sit on the edge of the bed where I just was. When he sits, I climb onto his lap, straddling him over his boxers. I can tease too. I lean in kissing him as I slowly start to rock back and forth on his lap. I can feel him getting harder by the second. To be honest this is doing just as much for me as it is for him. I start to kiss his neck, leaving marks similar to the ones he left on me. I start to rock faster back and forth until he is letting out moans the way I was. I cover his mouth.

“I thought we had to stay quiet.” I give him a sly smile before kneeling on the floor and removing his boxers. I come face to face with his cock as I run my tongue up the side, looking up at him while I do it. I move my tongue to the other side slowly, taking my sweet time. 

“Fuck y/n” Rafe groans as he places his hand in my hair. 

I wrap my mouth around the head of his cock and start to suck slowly, using my hands to work the rest that I can’t fit in my mouth. I bob my head up and down while I look up at him, my eyes are starting to water. He grabs my head and slightly pushes me down further, and I can feel his tip hit my throat. When it does Rafe lets out a deep moan with a mumbled string of “oh fucks”. After a few minutes, I can sense that he is going to cum. I don’t bother asking where he wants to finish before he finishes in my mouth. I swallow and look up at him with a smile.

“Holy shit. You really know what you’re doing.” He lets out a heavy content sigh. “We still aren't done yet. I need to be inside you.” He says laying me back down on the bed. I still cannot believe that this is happening. 

Rafe wastes no time climbing on top of me leaving sloppy kisses up my chest and meeting my mouth with his. “You sure about this?” He looks down at me.

“Never been more sure about anything.” I nod. 

“Good” He says as he grabs a condom from his nightstand and puts it on. Seconds later, he is lining himself up at my entrance. His tongue plunges into my mouth as he enters inside of me. His cock stretched my pussy perfectly. He moves with smooth motions leaving us both moaning into each other's mouths as he starts to pick up the pace of his thrusts. He brings his hand to my throat once again,barely applying pressure, making me let out a moan that was too loud to be stifled. He doesn’t seem to care. 

“You like when my hands are around your neck?” He whispers in my ear.

“Yes! Oh my god yes” I am starting to get louder. He moves his hand from my throat to my mouth to keep me quiet again. I moan into his hand as his thrusts hit the perfect spot inside of me. He can tell that he has hit the spot when my hips start to buck in perfect rhythm with his thrusts. I am almost screaming into his hand. As he leans down to kiss me again. 

“You gonna cum with me?” he asks, pressing his forehead against mine. I nod unable to speak, to stop myself from screaming. “Words y/n. Use your words” 

“Fuck yes. I’m gonna cum!” I whine out. He thrusts in and out a few more times, hitting the spot perfectly making me squirm underneath him. With one final thrust, I arch my back as I scratch my nails down his, definitely leaving scratch marks. We cum simultaneously as we let out deep and hungry moans into each other's mouths. He just gave me the best orgasm I have ever had. He pulled out and laid next to me.

“Holy shit. I’ve waited so long to do that.” he says looking at me out of breath.

“Me too. I always had a crush on you ya know.” I say looking at him equally as out of breath.

“Yeah I know.” He smiles and lets out a soft chuckle.

“Took you long enough to do something about it.” I laugh back.

“Thank God I did. And I plan on doing it again. Just so you know.” I winked at me 

“I’d hope so.” I smile, laying there next to him. He was right. That was the best way to get over someone. 

** hi! I really hope you liked this. If you did and want to see more let me know what you want to see! I had fun writing this and in my many many years of writing fanfics this is somehow my first time writing smut so I hope it was okay lol ❤️