#and i am in pain. i don’t have the energy for bullshit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tkaulitzlvr · 1 year ago

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hii I absolutely adore ur writing and I was wondering if maybe you could write something where like tom attempts to do no nut November but fails and it ends with smut??? Thank youuu💗

CAN’T RESIST - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: wierdly, tom is determined to get through the entire month of november with zero sex, having failed within the first few days for the past five years you have been together. you have other ideas, focused on getting him to crack, becoming desperate yourself.

content: smut

a/n: omg i loveeee this idea thanku sm for the request!! the way u sent this at like the start of november and i’m only just posting it i’m so sorry - i’ve had like the first paragraph written for a couple weeks😭also tom would def fail nnn on november 1st at 00:01am he is not lasting a second…

“oh my god.” tom pants, pulling out of me and climbing off of my limp frame, rolling to lay beside me, his chest heaving up and down as beads of sweat line the soft skin. “don’t know how i’m gonna last a whole month without this schatz.”

his confession doesn’t come as a surprise, in fact it is the exact opposite. tom is the horniest person i have ever met, and usually, he can’t go a day without sex - whether it be something rushed and desperate in public, or a long night of raw passion between the sheets, he can’t live without sex, which is why i am so surprised that he is attempting to go through with this whole ‘no nut november’ bullshit. he won’t last a second, and deep down i think he knows that too. though after the hours that he has spent inside of me, deciding to use the entirety of today - october 31st, the day before he had to give up his uncontrollable desires - fucking me just about anywhere he could, stating that it will ‘make up for the lost time’ and ‘make it a little easier for him’, i don’t see how he could even have the energy to do anything remotely sexual for the next month, his body spent and exhausted as it collapses beside me.

“i can’t believe you’re actually doing this.” a small giggle leaves my lips amidst the shaky breaths, hands pulling the sheets upward and over my naked body before snuggling into his frame, wrapping my arm loosely across his chest. “you know that you won’t even last a day, right?”

“this means no sex for you too you know.” his eyebrow raises, eyes tiredly meeting mine with a hint of mischief, thinking that he has caught me out, though he doesn’t realise that i can handle my needs in other ways, it is him that is totally restricted.

“i don’t need your help to cum baby. cute of you to assume i do.” i smirk, kissing his cheek lazily before rolling out of bed, grabbing my panties from the soft carpet, sensing his eyes burning into me from behind. i pay no attention, flashing him a teasing smile as a reminder that i have won, slowly walking into the bathroom to freshen up, his own steps soon following.

“the fuck do you mean you don’t need my help? i can still help you cum, i just can’t fuck you, which don’t get me wrong is the worst part, but nothing says that i can’t touch you. you know i’ll go insane if i can’t even do that.” he already sounds frustrated, a small smile tugging along my lips at the realisation that he really won’t last two seconds, his desperation embarrassingly clear despite the challenge not even starting yet.

“we’ll see. you just focus on getting yourself through this dumb challenge of yours baby.” i chuckle, that same knowing grin on my face once i palm him through his boxers, his mouth falling open at the sensation. though it doesn’t last long, my hand pulling away firmly to adjust the straps of my bra as i put it back on, leaving tom shocked as i walk away, the realisation that i don’t intend to make this easy for him soon becoming real.

and i stick to my plans - set on making this the most painful month of his life, certain that he will never consider doing this challenge again.

if only he knew what he was getting himself into.

“baby?” my voice sounds throughout the quiet house, loud enough for tom to pick up on it from downstairs. i smile to myself, turning to the mirror and adjusting the strap of the bra that i had bought earlier on, whilst tom had been at practice. the black lace - a colour which tom had never been able to control himself when ever i wore it - tightly cupped my breasts, pushing them upward and highlighting my cleavage in the most tempting way possible. small silver jewels line the lace of my thongs, matching perfectly with my upper half, leaving little to the imagination - though far too much that tom wouldn’t be able to touch, a task which would seem impossible the second he laid his eyes on mine.

“yeah?”

“can you come here for a second?” my question is nothing short of innocent, calm with a slight hint of mischief, though it is clearly not enough for him to pick up on as he shouts a quick ‘sure’, the rhythmic sound of his feet trudging up the stairs signalling that he is close, and clearly not expecting anything like this. but it has been two days- fourty eight hours of no sex, no touching, not even an implicit complaint of needing anything sexual from tom. he has been strangely okay with not fucking me, a task which any other time, would be next to impossible. and i feel it - i feel the difference in his actions. he is restricted, almost holding back just in case his impulses get the better of him. but right now, his mind has no choice, my own doing the thinking for him as he is walking blindly into my carefully calculated trap.

“is everything okay-” his calm question is soon cut off by the short curses that spill from his lips when his eyes make contact with my body, not bothering to hide the way they rake down my figure, drinking in the prominent cleavage, moving downward to my curves, finally landing on the slightly transparent panties.

“jesus christ schatz you’re gonna fucking kill me.” he mutters, walking toward me and attacking his hands to my waist, the pads of his fingers tracing the bare skin of my stomach, one slipping teasingly into my panties. his lips are inches away from my own, about to lean in and seal them in a heated kiss, though i pull away, leaving him dumbfounded.

“you like?” i ask innocently, doing a quick twirl as his eyes quickly glue to my ass, soon looking upward once i face him once again. he is in some sort of trance, mouth hanging open slightly, eyes dark and lustful, though the most noticeable difference is the tent that has formed through his sweatpants, a tinge of satisfaction in my veins at the realisation that my plan has worked. despite this, i keep the naive act up, acting as if i do not notice his change in demeanour. “i bought it from victoria’s secret today. it was on sale, and this was the last one in my size. what do you think?”

“you know what i think.” he states frustratedly, his hands doing the talking as they trail down to my ass, giving the bare flesh a rough squeeze, his lips ghosting over my own. “you’re so sexy schatz, so beautiful.”

his lips attach to my own, an indisputable hunger evident as he kisses me, his free hand latching onto the loose curls that fall to my upper waist, running through them harshly. he groans lowly into my mouth, pressing his hips against my own, silently drawing my attention to the hardness between his thighs.

“look what you’re doing to me baby.” he breathes out, seeming a little angry that i have managed to get to him so easily. though he doesn’t kiss me again, instead he holds back, pressing his forehead against mine whilst his hands continue to rest on my lower back, bringing our bodies closer together. “fuck you’re making this so hard…you know that?”

“you gonna give up already?” my voice is seductive, a torturous mix of sympathetic and lustful, lips moving to rest just below his ear, kissing the skin as his eyes flutter shut, a loud sigh leaving his parted mouth, the grip on my waist simultaneously becoming tighter when my kisses speed up. “if you want me…i’m right here.”

“jesus fucking christ.” he trails off, his eyes now squeezing shut as my lips work against his neck, his mind visibly contemplating on whether he should give in. i am right in front of him, my body a blank canvas, willing to give myself up, to allow myself to be used as he pleases, in exchange for the pathetic remainder of his pride - the two days that he has gone without me going down the drain if he decides to act on the desire that is so clearly eating him up.

his visible indecisiveness isn’t enough for me. i need him to give up, to no longer care about holding back anymore, my hand moving underneath his sweatpants as i run my fingers along his length through his boxers, a loud groan leaving his lips in response. he doesn’t object, instead he seems to lean into my touch, confirmation of his defeat on the tip of his tongue, just about to be uttered, my eyes wide open as i wait for him to finally say it.

a loud buzzing sound resonating from his pocket soon takes his attention, totally destroying the moment as i remove my hand from his pants, his eyes shooting open as he takes his phone, the source of the noise, eyes slightly widening once he sees the who is calling, their name lighting up the screen. bill.

“i have to take this baby. you look beautiful by the way, and, nice try.” he says, shooting me a wink and placing a quick kiss on my lips before adjusting himself, clearing his throat and disappearing out of the room. pretty fucking convenient.

i groan in frustration, collapsing backward onto the bed, completely infuriated at the fact that he was so close to letting go, knowing that right now he could be inside of me if it weren’t for that phone call - quickly realising that this is going to be much harder than i had thought.

my eyes make direct contact with the fresh towel folded neatly on the bathroom counter, scrambling quickly to hide it in the cupboard below as i step out of the shower, hands twisting the tap as the fast flow of water soon stops. i smile to myself when i hear the faint sound of a guitar from our bedroom, signalling that tom is in there, this key to my plan. nine days - nine whole days and he hadn’t cracked, not even close to wanting to fuck, the quick make out sessions and ability to still touch me as he pleases seeming to be sufficient. and whilst his mouth and fingers feel good, i need more, desperate to feel him inside of me, willing to go to any lengths to make him crack.

my fingers rake hurriedly through my freshly washed hair in an attempt to make it look somewhat neater, whilst my body remains completely naked, dripping with water. i take one final look at myself through the fogged up mirror, certain that my plan will work this time, figuring that if it doesn’t, then literally nothing else will.

i open the door that leads directly into our bedroom, acting totally nonchalant and squeezing any last droplets of water from my hair. i walk over to the closet, pretending to scan the shelves for towels, knowing that there aren’t any in here, my entire body on display for him. the gentle strumming of the guitar soon comes to a stop, signalling that i have gotten tom’s attention almost immediately, as i had expected.

“baby have you seen the towels? i can’t find any fresh ones anywhere.” i sigh obliviously, eyes finally landing on his own, only his are fixed on my figure, clearly not paying attention to a word that i am saying. his lips are parted, eyes shifting downward as they slowly take in each inch of skin, nothing at all left to his imagination which, despite his silence, clearly offers him no thoughts deemed holy.

“hm?” he mutters, moving his guitar from where it had been resting in his lap and setting it beside him on the bed. he gets up quickly, walking toward me, the awestruck expression plastered on his face now replaced with one unable to be mistaken for anything else besides pure lust. and when his hands find my waist, running up and down it softly, tongue dipping in and out of his mouth to play with the piercing there whilst his lips are curved into a smirk, i know that i have him right where i want him.

“i said do you know where the towels are. i can’t find any and i need to get dry.” his eyes look everywhere but my face, the only thing i get in response being a subtle nod. instead, his hands move upward, cupping my breasts, whilst his head finally tilts, eyes tearing away from where his hands now roam, lips nearing closer and closer, until they roughly collide with my own.

and i waste no time kissing back, silently thanking his almost non-existent willpower, channelling my pent up sexual frustration into the kiss as my lips mould with his, sighing loudly when his teeth sink into the plush of my bottom lip. he presses himself against me, the tent in his jeans more obvious than ever, one that he won’t be able to ignore as easily as he had done last time - one that i know he has to fix, meaning that this time, he won’t leave me totally desperate. his tongue slips into my mouth when i moan slightly, the kiss more messier than before, totally unrecognisable to the soft ones we had shared up until this moment, because this time, they show that he wants this just as badly as i do.

“jump.” he mutters almost inaudibly against my lips, soon reconnecting them once he breathes in shakily, his hands grabbing the flesh under my thighs once i hoist myself upward, wrapping them around his waist. he guides us toward the bed, using the steady hold he has on my hips to grind me against his, the sensation making it harder for him to kiss back, soon reminding me that this is the first sexual contact he has had in over a week. my back collides harshly with the soft sheets as he climbs above me, reconnecting our lips and slowly spreading my legs apart. he hurriedly scrambles to take his shirt off, throwing the material carelessly across the room, revealing his bare torso.

my hands run down the skin, trailing the muscle of his abs, watching how his eyes fall shut as i move lower and lower, stopping just above the waistband of his jeans. his eyes open when i hesitate, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. he quickly places his hand on top of mine, now guiding my movements as he forces my fingers to slip below the denim, moving below the cotton of his boxers.

“what about your challenge?” i ask, just before my fingers make contact with his dick, eyes widening when he groans in frustration, rolling his eyes at my question.

“fuck the challenge.” he mumbles, forcing my hand to wrap around his dick, his head falling backward the second that the pads of my fingers trace his length, soon running up and down at a slow pace.

“oh jesus christ.” he whispers, eyes half-lidded as he fights to keep them open, desperate to watch my movements, no matter how lethargic they are. because though i have gotten what i wanted, managing to divert his attention from the ridiculous challenge onto me, i want him to be in control, opposed to me doing all the work. and somehow, he seems to read my mind, removing my hand from underneath his pants despite the unmistakable satisfaction etched upon his face. his movements are fast as he removes his jeans, boxers soon following in a messy heap of clothing on the floor.

being naked already works in my favour, allowing tom to line his tip at my entrance, hand pumping his dick lazily a few times before slowly sliding in. as he does so, the tip slips in and out of my folds ever so slightly as i whine in frustration, the stimulation not enough as it reminds me of everything that i have within arms reach, tom holding back only agitating me even more. he picks up on my impatience, my anger buying him time to savour this moment, to tease me just a little more, having me under his mercy just as i had him last time i had gotten close to making him surrender. and i am not willing to have him ripped away again, to be taunted beyond belief, instead willing to beg for him.

“stop playing around and just fuck me.” i sigh through pathetic moans, hands reaching to his neck, pulling it downward so our foreheads our inches apart. and surprisingly, he puts me out of my misery, slowly sliding into me in one smooth snap of his hips. my mouth falls open, a high-pitched moan leaving it when he bottoms out, his tip brushing against my g-spot perfectly, hands raking down his back.

and though my nails dig into the skin with enough force to draw blood, he uses the pain to build up the speed of his thrusts, teeth gritting together as he winces lowly, somewhat used to the feeling, knowing that his pace warranted the strength of my fingers dragging down his back. despite the stinging pain, he maintains a soft smirk, knowing that the soft red marks are nothing more than evidence of the pleasure that only he can provide me with. desperate to feel him just a little closer, my legs hook around his waist, drawing him even deeper inside me, so deep that i swear i can feel him in my stomach.

“you knew what you were doing.” he breathes out between soft groans, so quiet they are almost inaudible. “knew that i’d give in, didn’t you?”

whilst he can speak somewhat coherently, i had lost that ability the second his dick had entered me, any sound that i make an embarrassing mix of moans and whines - nowhere near a properly understandable sentence. though tom wants more, using one hand to grab hold of my cheeks firmly, though not enough to hurt me, forcing my eyes to make contact with his own, prompting me to answer his question.

“mhm…” i manage to mumble, eyes rolling to the back of my head when his tip repeatedly hits the soft spot inside of me, soft curses now pouring from tom’s lips as i clench around him, knowing the reaction that such movements usually encourage out of him, recognising that this time is no different.

“fuck- it’s worth it though schatz. you feel so good, taking me so well.” his words of encouragement are all i need to attach my lips to his neck, placing messy, open-mouthed kisses to the soft skin, noticing the way his lips part, quiet and almost restricted moans escaping them. it isn’t enough for me, feeling somewhat frustrated that he holds back, wanting nothing more for him to cry out in pleasure as i already am, craving for him to mirror my own ecstasy.

“i wanna hear you…” i whine quietly, clenching around him as he curses once again before mumbling a low ‘okay baby’, his lips falling open as rough moans now sound from the back of his throat, getting louder when he drills into me at a certain angle, far deeper than he has ever been before.

and when that familiar knot begins to build within my stomach, i don’t need to ask tom if he is close to, his dick beginning to twitch faintly inside of me. his teeth sink into his bottom lip, thrusts becoming slow and deep, no longer rough and fast as they had been moments ago. now i can really feel him, every inch of his dick slowly pushing inside of me, stopping for a second when he bottoms out, soft grunts leaving his lips as quiet moans escape my own, feeling him closer than i ever had before.

“gonna cum baby. do it with me, yeah?” he whispers, head dipping downward to place messy kisses across my face, starting at my forehead, trailing downward to my nose and cheeks, before ending at my lips, capturing them in yet another rough kiss, nothing like the slow and deep movements of his hips as he continues to push in and out of me.

when his lips falter, no longer able to kiss me with such force as they had when they had initiated it, i know that he can’t hold on anymore, his head tilting backward as a loud moan escapes his mouth, followed with hot spurts of cum that coat my walls, his hips rocking back and forth tiredly as he releases. the pressure of his own climax soon triggers my own, his name spilling from my lips over and over again, high off the feeling of his dick as it continues to thrust into me, fucking his seed deeper, riding both our highs.

his hold on my waist becomes softer, slight red marks in place of his fingers, our breathing loud and heavy as it envelops the room, thick with the smell of sex. he pulls out of me, sighing loudly as a mix of our juices seeps out, his hands lazily grabbing some tissue to wipe it away.

tiredly, he moves upward, his body collapsing on top of me, lips pecking my own a few times. my own arms wrap around his back, fingers tracing the skin softly in an attempt to ease the stinging pain my nails had left whilst his own hands run along my trembling frame, lips pressing sweet kisses into my hair.

“you okay?” his voice is hoarse as he speaks, attempting to appear as unbothered as possible, though i can tell he is totally worn out. i manage a quick ‘mhm’, lips turning to kiss just above his shoulder, noticing him smile weakly against me.

“are you upset about the challenge?” i ask tiredly, eyes on the verge of closing, ears barely picking up the soft chuckle that leaves his lips, his fingers squeezing the flesh of my hips as he kisses me softly, shaking his head.

“fuck the challenge.” he stretches out, bringing my body closer to his. “sex is just too good, plus it’s hard when my girlfriend walks around naked in front of me, what kind of guy ignores that shit? i don’t care if someone paid me, i’d never pass up on a chance like that. especially when you look this good.”

“you’re so romantic.” i scoff sarcastically, shaking my head at his impulsiveness, feeling him smile against me, his head lifting up to look into my eyes.

“what, i’m not allowed to say you’re beautiful?” he smirks, hands trailing my body once again, eyes visibly lighting up with that same look i had seen just minutes ago, knowing exactly what it means. “i mean, i could show you that you’re beautiful instead, if you want me to…”

though the grin on his face says otherwise, i know that he is serious about it, his actions proving so if my instincts weren’t enough. his hands trail upward knowingly, fingers running across my breasts as his lips makes content with them, placing harsh kisses onto the skin, his teeth digging in every few seconds. my head falls backward, back arching to allow him better access, silently accepting his proposal. he stops momentarily, looking into my eyes.

“we’ve got nine days of lost time to make up for schatz. i think now seems like a good time to start, don’t you?”

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

#tomkaulitz #tokiohotel #tom kaulitz x reader #kaulitz twins #tom kaulitz smut #tom kaulitz #tom kaulitz fluff #kaulitz #tom kaulitz angst #bill kaulitz

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scoonsalicious · 8 months ago

Text

Unwanted: Chapter 13, Uncomfortable - Pt. 4

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, the last straw, arguing, violence, Sexually Explicit Content Minors: GTFO; I don’t serve your kind here (angry/rough PIV, fingering, degradation kink), memories of past CSA, self harm, Bucky really, really fucks up.

Word Count: 4k

Previously On...: Tony sent you a very expensive apology gift.

A/N: Ya’ll are getting this early! Just one thing to say:

I am so, so sorry.

Coincidentally, this is getting posted on the day I'll be coming home from NoLa, so I'll arrive just in time to hear you all say how much you now hate me. Yay. -_-

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @jmeelee @cazellen @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @erelierraceala @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @jupiter-107 @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @sashaisready @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @doublejeon @pattiemac1

You weren’t sure how long you sat there, lost in the dark colors, the reflection of the moonlight over the water. The sound of the door opening broke through your thoughts, and you turned to see Bucky shuffle into the room.

“Hey, sweets,” he said, toeing off his boots.

“Hey,” you said without emotion, turning your face back to the painting.

“Whacha lookin’ at?” he asked, coming to sit next to you on the couch.

“Apology gift from Tony.”

“What’s he apologizing to you for?” God, you couldn’t even muster up the energy to be angry at him.

“Calling out your unhealthy obsession with Jade in front of the team,” you said, voice flat.

“I do not have an unhealthy obsession with Vix,” Bucky said, annoyance coloring his words. “How many times do I have to tell you there’s nothing going on between the two of us before you start believing me.”

“Maybe you should stop telling me there’s nothing and start actually acting like there’s nothing,” you said as you stood up. “Because honestly, I’m tired of hearing your empty words.” You began to walk away, but Bucky reached out and grabbed your arm.

“They aren’t empty, Pocket!” he said. His voice wasn’t loud, but it filled the room as if he’d shouted. “It fucking hurts like hell to hear you say that.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” You couldn’t help the sarcasm that oozed from your voice now. “Your feelings are hurt now, so that changes everything. Let me put aside the pain I’ve been dealing with for months to reassure you.” You yanked your hand free from his grasp. “I’m exhausted, Bucky. Nothing is getting better. In fact, things are getting worse, and I keep pretending that I can be okay with things, but you just keep picking her over me, time and time again. I don’t deserve that. Not from someone who’s supposed to love me.”

“Pick her over you? That’s fucking bullshit and you know it,” he said, voice rising.

“Is it?” you asked him. You pointed to the corner where your overnight bags sat waiting for a trip you’d never take. “Is that bullshit, Bucky? Cause we were supposed to be in the Catskills right now, but because that fucking cunt came crying for you, you went running to her and left me sitting here, alone and forgotten. Again.”

“Pocket,” Bucky ran a hand over the back of his neck, a sure sign you were ruffling him. “She needed someone to support her. She’s not like you– she doesn’t–”

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Barnes!” you interrupted, shouting now. “I’m trying to tell you that I’m breaking up with you because of her and you still just stand there and defend her!”

Bucky’s face paled and his eyes went wide. “No,” he said, his voice barely audible.

“What?” You weren’t sure you heard him.

“I said ‘no,’” he said, his voice louder, but still soft. “You're not breakin' up with me. Doll, please. I need you. You said you were gonna fight for us, fight for me. That’s what you said!”

“I’m so tired of fighting for you when you’re off fighting for her! I can’t do this anymore, Bucky,” you practically sobbed. “You are fucking destroying me and feel like you just. don’t. care. I can’t just sit here and let it keep happening. You say you need me, but you’ve made it clear time and time again that you don’t give a shit about what I need. Every time I’ve asked you to put a boundary between you and Carthage, you’ve stomped right over it. And I can’t keep living like this. Yesterday was supposed to be a celebration of one of the greatest accomplishments of my career, and she ruined it.”

“It wasn’t her fault she got bad intel!” Bucky shouted.

“Could you just FUCKING STOP?!” you screamed. “Stop defending her! She either royally fucked up or she set them up on purpose! Those are the only two options! Either way, the entire thing was her fault. Rhodey is unconscious– almost died– because of her! She’s got you so wrapped around her fucking finger that you can’t even see it, and I am SO. GOD. DAMNED. OVER. IT! You promised me you’d make it up to me,” you continued shouting at him. “You fucking promised! But as soon as she bats her lashes, your promises don’t mean shit! You keep making excuses, you keep saying you’re sorry, but you keep doing the same fucking thing over and over again, and the only thing your actions are promising is that she means more to you than I do!”

“That’s not true!” he shouted back at you. “You mean more to me than anything!”

“I don’t fucking believe you!” you screamed, your voice going hoarse.

“I’ll fucking prove it to you!” He grabbed your elbows and pulled you to him, kissing you with such force it would have knocked you over if he hadn’t been holding you up. The moment he broke the kiss for air, you slapped him across the face. Only to immediately kiss him again.

Within seconds, you were ripping at each other’s clothes, desperate to feel one another, skin to skin, your tongues battling against each other as though whomever could dominate the kiss could win your fight. Bucky literally tore your shirt in half before you pushed him down onto your bed. Crawling on top of him, you scratched your nails down his chest, hard enough to draw blood.

Bucky hissed into your mouth, reaching down to yank off his pants and boxer briefs. You hastily pulled them down and off his legs before climbing back up to his mouth. Your kisses were passionate, angry and feral, each of you trying to prove a point to the other.

You felt both of Bucky’s hands grasp the waistband of your jeans and rip them open, sending the button and zipper teeth flying. “Those were my favorite fucking jeans,” you warned.

“I’ll buy you another pair,” he growled, shoving a hand into your panties and finding your clit. You arched your back as he pinched and rolled it between his fingers, the aggression in his movements igniting your blood. You gasped as he shoved two fingers into you while simultaneously flipping you so you were now on your back and he loomed above you.

He pulled his hand from you, leaving you aching and empty. He kissed you as he divested you of what was left of your jeans and your panties. “Taste yourself,” he said, shoving his fingers into your mouth. You sucked on them, savoring the tang of your essence on his skin. Bucky groaned at the sight before pulling his fingers out and kissing you again.

“You’re mine,” he growled, grabbing at your breasts and roughly kneading the flesh. “Look at me, Pocket. You’re mine.” You turned your head away, not wanting to meet his eyes, but Bucky would have none of it. Gripping your chin tight enough to leave a bruise, he yanked your head back so you were looking him in the eye. “I said, you’re mine.” He entered you then, the force of it nearly splitting you in half. “You’re mine and I’m fucking yours. Forever.”

He pounded into you as if his very life depended on it, and you clutched at his shoulders for dear life. “God, yes, Bucky,” you cried, all your resolve finally leaving you as the pleasure rose within you. “I’m yours, and you’re mine. Only mine. Only fucking mine!”

With a roar, Bucky picked up one of your legs and draped it over his shoulder, the new angle allowing him to hit you deeper as he drove into you. His thrusts were punishing, as though he were trying to see just how deep he could get himself inside of you before you actually broke in two.

"You like that?" he murmured as he rutted his hips into you.

"Fuck, yes, please, Bucky-- just like that," you moaned. He had you close. So, so close. "Keep going."

"Yeah, I thought so, you dirty slut," he grunted.

"What?" you asked, pulling your head back into the pillow so you could stare at him, wide-eyed as he continued to pound relentlessly into you. His words had taken you aback-- this was not something your loving boyfriend had ever said to you before. You dropped one leg from around his waist and tried to pull the other from his shoulder.

"Knew you loved taking my cock. God, you're such a filthy whore for me."

"Bucky, stop." You pushed gently against his chest, but he was already so far gone to his lust that he didn't seem to hear you.

"Such a good fucktoy for me," he grunted, his pace quickening as he neared his release. You felt your breath coming hard and fast now, but not from your impending climax, which had died with his words, but from an oncoming anxiety attack. “You goin’ dumb on me already, like a good little cockslut?”

Flashes of your miserable childhood flickered through your head, the way Darren would call you his "good little money-making whore" after you'd been raped by yet another of his clients, or when he decided to violate you himself, calling you his own personal slut, his special fuck toy.

"Bucky," you shouted, punching him with your fists, desperate now to get him off you, out of you. "Stop! Get off of me! GET OFF OF ME!" You screamed, thrashing at him. You saw the moment your words registered-- his eyes lost their haze of lust and his hips stopped pumping into you.

"Doll?" he asked, looking down on you in confusion. "What's wr--"

"Get off me, get off me, get off me!" you shrieked as you rolled out from under him, your entire body suddenly on fire with shame and disgust. The second your feet hit your bedroom floor, you were reaching for your silk robe, wrapping yourself in it as though the thin fabric could protect you from his words. From him.

"Pocket," Bucky watched your movements, his eyes betraying his bewilderment at your actions. "What's going on? What did I do?"

"Why would you call me that?" you asked, your words coming out in between your desperate gasps for air. "Why would you say those things?"

Bucky sat up, reaching for you, but you moved away from him. "Baby, what things? What did I s--" Realization dawned on him then, and his entire face fell. "Shit. Oh, God. Oh, Pocket. Sweetheart, I am so sorry. I didn't think--"

"Why would you say that, Bucky?" you asked, fighting back the tears that so desperately wanted to break free. "You've never called me a-a-..." you couldn't even get the word out. "How could you do that?"

"Fuck, Baby..." Bucky began, running his hands through his hair in response to your distress, "I never... I thought you'd like it. I should have realized, after Darren..."

"Don't say his name!" You hadn't meant to shout at him, but you were damned if you were going to invite the ghost of your tormentor into the sanctuary of your room. "Please," you cried, "don't say his name."

Bucky got up and tried to wrap his arms around you, but you pulled away, feeling too vile, too dirty, to even let him touch you.

"Sweetheart, please," he began, reaching for you again, "you're shaking. Let me hold you." You shook your head as you moved away from him yet again, trying to steady yourself.

"Where did that even come from, Bucky? Why would you think... What would even make you think that was something I would want?"

Bucky's hand went to rub the back of his neck as he looked up at you from behind his lashes. "I... I heard girls... like that sort of thing. That it turns them on."

"You can't just start it out of nowhere," you cried, "It's something you need to agree on first! You can't just say it without making sure your partner's okay with it! And I can't believe you'd ever think I would be okay with it! God, who even told you that?" You couldn't imagine any of Bucky's friends saying something like that to him; hell, Steve would have a coronary before even suggesting it. Did he read about it in some degrading kink group online?

"I was talking to Vix, and she said--"

"You what?" you spun to face him, your words sharp in your shock.

"Vixen. Jade. I was talking to her during training one time and she said girls like it when guys talk to them like that during sex. Well, she said she likes it. Said it, uh, turns her on."

Your entire body froze as if you'd been doused with ice water. "You were talking to Jade Carthage about sex and what gets her off." Your voice was hard and clipped. It wasn't even a question, just a statement that made your stomach twist, but you had to make sure you had understood him correctly.

"Well, when you say it like that, it sounds bad," Bucky hemmed, "but sweets, I swear, it wasn't like that."

You called for FRIDAY to turn up the lights, no longer wanting to be trapped in the intimacy of the semi-darkness with him.

"It wasn't like that? Then please enlighten me, Bucky, what was it like? Jesus, how did you two even stumble into that conversation in the first place?"

"Baby," Bucky looked frantic as he grabbed his boxer briefs from the floor and tugged them back on, "I don't even remember how we got on the subject. We were sparring and I pinned her and--"

"You had a conversation about sex while you were lying on fucking top of her?" You could barely contain your rage; you were seething, about to vibrate out of your skin with revulsion.

"Honey, it's not that big of a deal, really."

"Not that big of a deal?" you asked, knowing you were about to tread into some very dangerous territory, but needing him to understand you. "So, it wouldn't be that big of a deal if I let Steve get on top of me and had him tell me what gets him hard? What makes him come?"

Bucky's jaw tightened immediately at the mention of Steve. "Don't," he growled. "Do not bring him into this. It's completely different."

"It's not, Bucky! It's a thousand times worse! God," you threw your arms above your head as you began to pace in front of your bed. "I can't tell if you're actually this naive or if you think I'm fucking stupid."

"I don't think you're stupid, Pocket," Bucky's voice was quieter now, more restrained. "I... God, I just messed up. I'm an idiot. I didn't think it through and..." He trailed off and slumped onto the edge of the bed, his hands pushed into his hair as he stared down at the floor.

You could see his muscles craving to pull you back into his arms, but he resisted. His eyes flickered to you before darting away again, like looking at you caused him physical pain.

"Do you want to sleep with her? Were you imagining her while you were fucking me?" It was a reckless question to ask--a question that you didn’t want the answer to--but it slipped out before you could stop it.

Bucky's head whipped up, his eyes wide with shock as he stared at you. "What? No!" He stood abruptly, hands outstretched towards you. "Baby, no! God, no! I would never... I can't even believe you'd think... Don't even talk like that."

"But you took her kinks, her turn ons, and you brought them into our bed. You spoke words you knew another woman-- a woman you know I fucking loathe-- wanted to hear, you... you used them on me, knowing my history, and you didn't give a shit about what saying them might do to me!" Your voice was trembling with accusation, your body shaking with tremors of hurt and betrayal.

"No! No, sweetheart... it wasn't like that." He kept repeating himself, his words rushed, his face pale with shock and regret. "I didn't mean to disrespect you like that. I heard her say it and I thought... I mean, she's a woman too, right? So, if she liked it, I thought maybe you..." He trailed off, his expression one of sheer desperation as he tried to find the right words.

"But I'm not her. It wasn’t about pleasing me; it was about using what pleases her." You shook your head harshly, a lump forming in your throat. "You don't even see how wrong that is. And you shouldn't even have been having the conversation with her in the fucking first place!"

"What can I do?" Bucky pleaded, his voice a strained whisper as he raked his fingers through his hair again. His face was etched with pain, regret seeping from every pore of him. "How can I fix this? Tell me how to make it right."

But you were too overcome by anger and heartbreak to think straight. You moved further away from him, wrapping your arms around yourself as if you were trying to shield your heart from further damage.

“What did you tell her?” you asked, but Bucky looked at you with confusion etched across his face. “You said it was a conversation. I’m assuming she didn’t do all the talking. What did you talk about? Did you tell her what gets you off? What you like? Were you sharing intimate details about our sex life with a complete outsider? Did you tell her about your ‘sergeant’ kink?”

He didn’t need to speak for you to read the truth in the expression on his face.

The silence hung in the room, heavy and oppressive, as Bucky fought for words. A nerve twitched in his jaw, the only movement in his otherwise frozen face. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, he finally spoke.

"I... Yes, I did," he admitted, his voice a mere whisper. "I didn't think it through. I didn't mean to... I just..."

His voice trailed off again and he sunk back onto the bed, looking completely defeated. His hands covered his face as if he were desperate to hide himself from your accusing gaze.

“Get out.” You couldn’t even stand to look at him. This was a betrayal beyond anything you’d ever have expected from him.

Bucky’s head snapped up at your words, his eyes wide with shock. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He just sat there on the edge of the bed, staring at you as though he was seeing you for the first time.

"Get out," you repeated, each word a dagger. "I can't... I can't stand to even look at you right now."

Still, Bucky didn’t move. He just sat there in stunned silence, his face pale and his eyes filled with regret.

"I said get out!" Your voice was shrill, filling the room with a chilling echo that seemed to reverberate through every fiber of your being.

Bucky flinched at your tone, and finally roused himself to his feet. He looked at you one last time, his steel-blue eyes so full of pain that it made your heart ache despite everything. For a moment, it seemed like he might say something else, like he might try to explain, but you’d had enough of his ‘explanations’ for the evening. Hell, maybe for the rest of your life.

Bucky swallowed hard, his eyes filling with a mixture of fear and dread as he nodded slowly. "Okay... yeah," he stammered. "I'll give you some space."

“No. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done, Bucky. This… this is unforgivable. We’re finished.”

"Doll," he breathed, the pet name he had given you sounding like a prayer on his lips, but a curse to your ears. "I love you... I'm sorry. I messed up, I know. But I love you."

“I don’t believe you.” You felt like your heart was being ripped apart as you watched him standing there, consumed by remorse. You had never seen him like this before, his usual charismatic confidence replaced with fearful uncertainty.

“Just go,” you whispered, turning away so you wouldn't have to see the pain in his eyes. You felt a sob rising in your throat, but you held it back, refusing to let it out while he was still there.

With every inch of him screaming resistance, Bucky walked over to the door and hesitated at the threshold. "I'll... I'll do anything to make this right, sweetheart," he promised, his voice choked with emotion. "I'll fix this... We can fix this."

But you remained silent, your back still turned to him as you tried desperately to keep your tears at bay. The sound of the door opening and closing behind him was deafening in its finality.

You wrapped your arms around yourself tighter, suddenly feeling cold. The room was suddenly too big, too empty without Bucky's reassuring presence. You sunk onto the bed, burying your head in your hands as the events of the night washed over you with overwhelming force as you began to sob in earnest.

You weren't even sure what you were angriest about. He’d broken yet another promise and left you waiting, your romantic getaway forgotten so he could be by her side. He'd called you a slut and a whore. He’d discussed your sex life with Jade-- the one woman you hated above all others, and openly discussed her kinks with her, and his own desires in return. He'd forced her kinks on you without your consent.

And then there was the worst part of it all, the bit that made you feel sick and hollow: he'd failed to see what he'd done wrong.

You had thought Bucky knew you better, that he respected you more than this. You'd shared secrets and fears with him, things you'd never shared with anyone else, not even Tony. He knew your past, knew how much trust meant to you - knew how difficult it had been for you to open your vulnerabilities up to something more than just casual sex - and yet he'd violated that trust in such a profound way.

This was just beyond anything else that had come before it. You couldn’t see a way to move forward after this.

Numbly, you began to strip off the sheets from the bed, your hands shaking as you balled them up and threw them into a corner of the room. You couldn't sleep on them now, nor ever again. You couldn't bear the thought of lying down where he'd... where he'd...

Tears started to spill down your cheeks as the reality of what had happened set in. You tried to blink them away, tried to swallow down the lump in your throat. But it was too late. Tears blinded you as you moved through your space on muscle memory alone, grabbing a garbage bag from under the sink in the kitchenette and shoving the offending sheets into it to dispose of later. Boiling them in chlorine wouldn't be able to relieve them of the taint they now carried.

Once the offending sheets were securely bagged and out of sight, you stumbled your way into the bathroom. Turning the shower on as hot as it would go, you stripped from your robe and stepped under the scalding stream from the waterfall shower head.

Hissing as the water hit your body, you let yourself succumb to your emotions. You reached for your loofah and began scrubbing at your skin, doing everything in your power to wash away the intense feeling of shame that had permeated deep under your dermis. You scrubbed until your skin was red, until it was raw and cracked and bleeding, but it offered you no relief.

The sensations were familiar, the burning heat, the stinging of newly torn flesh. It had been so long since you had felt the need to ritually cleanse yourself like this, you had desperately hoped you'd finally found yourself beyond the need to do so, but just a few words from Bucky's mouth had sent you reeling backwards, back to being that worthless, vile, used up girl that no number of college degrees, fancy company titles, or board-approved computer programs could fully erase. It was in your DNA, and you couldn't escape it. You scrubbed and scrubbed until time had lost meaning.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

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thethirdtriplet · 1 year ago

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Title: Mentor Tim

So we all know how similar Tim is to Bruce, I feel like as Tim gets older he promises himself not to become like him, in regards to his closed off-ness and anti-social behavior, gets therapy (boy was that something else), matures as a person and learns to take care of himself properly (not everyone has an Alfred lying around y’know).

So older Tim, who does not want to be Batman (who does at this point?), and considers Red Tornado (Aka; the only adult who really cared) his idol, makes an intellectual decision.

To mentor 10+ young vigilantes, that are basically neglected or ignored by their mentors, that he met once on a mission, apparently they’re the new Young Justice members (why do all the unwanted ones end up there, seriously, has everyone learned nothing??).

It’s not that he planned to mentor the young superheroes, but he couldn’t really ignore them when they took to him like little ducklings to water all because he was nice to them.

The were very undertrained and uncoordinated, and in desperate need of guidance, and Tim who has caused or been apart of some of the craziest shit known to man has a lot of knowledge to spare:

Tim: Leo, for the love of god. Put. That. Down. Number one rule of dealing with magical artifacts or magic in general is don’t touch it and run, don’t walk away if it starts to glow.

—————————

Tim: Keith, seriously dude, if you need any new equipment, swords, knives, anything at all, just tell me. Y’know what I can set it up with one phone call, hold on.

—————————

Tim: Peter, if that jerk at school talks to you like that again I give you my permission to beat his ass, I don’t care what your school or “mentor” have to say, they clearly know nothing about teenagers.

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Tim: Of course you can skip training next week for your recital Sofia, and actually, I cancelled training for everyone when they told me they all wanted to go to support you, thanks for inviting me by the way, I can’t wait.

—————————

Tim: Oh, you’ve had an argument with your parent, Nick? Hold on just a sec.

Tim: Yeah, I just freed my schedule so we could have the whole day to ourselves, I remember those movies you told me you wanted to marathon, let’s go watch them in the big screen room, bundle ourselves in the softest blankets and eat a sh- heck ton of ice cream, while we talk about it, if you feel like it, of course.

—————————

Tim: I noticed how much extensive energy you have even after a full training session, Mateo, so I thought you and I could stay and spar, even after everyone’s done. I’ve brought new training equipment for you to try and researched a few new techniques that correlate with your abilities.

—————————

Tim: Don’t worry about not being able to speak, Amara, I know plenty of sign, in many languages, in fact.

—————————

Tim: *on a phone call*

Tim: What do you mean you’re in a burning building?

Tim: What do you mean you set it on fire?!

Tim: Send me your location, Amber, I’ll be there in ten, no- five.

—————————

And that’s how the hero community noticed how the newly proclaimed Young Justice mentor Red Robin nowadays often had one, if not all, of his ducklings kids students standing proudly next to him.

Bonus:

Tim: Red, I am so sorry for all the years you had to put up with my bullshit.

Tim: I’m basically the only adult- no, person, who cares about them!

Tim: I don’t know how they’ve been alive for so long!

Red Tornado: You are forgiven, Tim, although I must admit, it is quite satisfying that you know of my pain.

Tim, with haunted eyes: You have no idea.

Part 2??

#tim drake #mentor #mentoring #mentorship #idk how to tag this #Tim is a mentor

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bleucaesura · 7 months ago

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AN ENDING - 1 / 4

“Thank you, Blitz…” Stolas slowly stood.

“For making me SO happy.” He placed his hat delicately on his head. “Even if only for a little while.”

Stolas turned and walked away, not stopping to look back.

Blitz stood there frozen. Too stunned to move.

What the fuck had just happened? Had… Had Stolas really just ended things between them, for good?

Blitz felt cold, as if he were stabbed through the heart by ice; it spread and rooted him to the floor. Every second Stolas got further from him, the harder it became to breathe. To think.

He’s… Gone?…

His heart hammered in his chest.

No… NO!

Blitz willed his legs to move… You can’t leave… he pulled at the ice … I love you… and felt it shatter.

Blitz raced after him.

“Stolas!” Blitz struggled to catch up to the tall Prince. Stolas’s determined strides stretched the distance between them ever faster.

On hearing his name, Stolas’s pace faltered, just enough for Blitz to gain ground.

Almost…

Stolas’s fists clenched at his side.

“Stolas! Plea-” Blitz closed his eyes and reached out a desperate hand for him…

He fell on dead, empty air.

***

“No… Nonononono…”

Blitz stood hunched over, fists clutching his chest. He had opened his eyes to find himself outside in Stolas’s courtyard.

He threw me out… Like trash…

His heart hammered in his chest. Blood pounded in his ears, drowning out all sound and reason. He began to shake; tears streaming down his face.

What the fuck do I do? What the fuck am I supposed to do now?

Blitz’s vision tunneled and black spots started to form. He could barely breathe; only managing desperate little gasping breaths.

He threw me out… He threw me out… He…

Blitz could feel rage building in the pit of his stomach.

He fucking THREW. ME. OUT!

He slowly turned to look up at the mansion, his body growing taller and rigid.

Who the FUCK does he think he IS? Throwing ME out?!

The spots began to fade, his vision slowly returning to normal. His rage was giving him focus; purpose.

Say what YOU want and then just TOSS me ASIDE?!

His fists were clenched so tightly at his sides he felt his claws digging into his palms, a whisper’s breadth from drawing blood. The little biting pain grounding him.

OooHoHo… I’ll draw blood, alright… That fucker’s getting a piece of MY MIND!

Blitz dashed around to the back and skillfully scaled the wall up to Stolas’s bedroom balcony like he had done so many times before. He hoisted himself over the balcony railing, ready to dash inside and begin his verbal assault, only to find the doors closed.

He didn’t take time to think about how it was strange the doors were closed. How Stolas always kept them open, even a crack. He didn’t think about the reason why Stolas kept them open was because he said he always wanted to be able to see the sky; have an escape. He definitely didn’t think about how he thought - hoped - Stolas actually kept them open for him; giving Blitz that perpetual access to him, whenever he wanted. Or needed.

He definitely didn’t think about any of that.

Blitz dusted himself off, adjusted his bowtie, and stomped over to the doors, ready to toss them open dramatically. He grabbed the handles and tugged. They didn’t budge.

“The fuck?” He jiggled the handles again to be sure.

Locked.

His blood boiled. A heat licked up his spine and he snarled.

“STOLAS!”

Blitz yelled and pounded on the doors.

“STOLAS, you FUCKER! You don’t get to just fucking THROW me OUT before I have my fucking SAY!”

Blitz smashed his fists against the doors, making as much noise as possible.

“Get your bullshit privileged ass OVER HERE and LET ME THE FUCK IN!”

He grabbed the door handles and violently shook the doors. They made a very satisfying groaning noise against their hinges. Given enough time and energy Blitz was sure he could break them open. But Stolas would open them long before then.

Wouldn’t he…?

***

Blitz yelled and pounded for ten minutes straight. But no one came. He was hoarse and out of breath. Cold and tired.

He stood with his forehead against the doors, eyes squeezed shut and fists pushed against the glass by his face. He was shaking again, but he couldn’t tell if it was from exhaustion, the cold or… Something else.

This can’t be happening…

Still leaning against the doors, Blitz slid to his knees with a thud.

This can’t be… IT…

“Stolas…” Blitz called out with a quiet and shaky voice. “Stolas, please answer me…”

His eyes clamped shut, he listened as hard as he could, despite the blood pounding in his ears. He was desperate to know Stolas was there.

He couldn’t hear anything.

Dammit… Satan fucking DAMMIT…

His claws scored marks into the stained glass of the doors as he balled his fists, fighting down the rising anguish. His throat burned as he swallowed his tears.

He’s gone…

Blitz felt something inside him break and he let out a strangled sobbing wail as he slid to the floor and let the tears take him.

He clutched as tightly as he could to every part of himself, curling in as small as he could. He felt as though if he loosened his grip even a little, he would shatter into a million tiny pieces, never to be put back together again. He’d turn to ash and dust, blown away by the smallest whisper.

*****

#helluva boss #blitzø #stolitz #stolas #fanfic #blitzo #helluva boss blitz #stolitz angst #helluva boss stolitz #stolitz fanfic #stolitz fanfiction #hellluva boss blitz #blitzø x stolas #blitzo x stolas

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just-a-ghost00 · 4 months ago

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Surprise reading to celebrate my new oracle deck

I was kindly gifted an oracle deck by a French reader that goes by the name of Soul shadow, whom I admire a lot. It’s a 90s anime themed oracle deck. So to celebrate this new baby, I decided to do a reading on the following theme :

a message from someone you love ❤️

No picture to pick from today, just use your intuition and pick a number between 1 and 3.

Group 1

I had to take a break to sort things through. There were so many things I wanted to tell you but it would have been difficult for me to express them in the state I was in. I don’t want you to think that I’m mad at you or that I hate you because that isn’t true. I sincerely think that meeting you was the best thing that could happen to me. I met you at the perfect timing and there is nothing I would change about that. With you I really feel like I can tackle the world and overcome anything. I need time to understand what this means to me, to figure out how I can better fit you into my life, to solve my own issues and find my footing. I know that asking you to be patient is a bit unfair. But I really need the space right now. I can only hope that you understand this decision and that all ends well in the end. I know this is going to be difficult but I have hope that we can overcome this together. Will you wait for me?

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 Group 2

I really thought that I had it all figured out. But that was until you came into my life. At first, I will be honest, I didn’t like your energy. I thought you were too carefree. But the more I got to know you the more I understood the importance of going with the flow with you. Know that I am open to whatever may happen, now that I stopped overthinking, I can really appreciate the journey and I really feel hyped up. Though I don’t need it, I really like to be reassured by you. Every time that you encourage me or celebrate me, it’s just one more sign for me that I’m doing the right thing and I’m grateful for that. There’s a lot that I wish to say and I plan on taking the time to express them when I get the chance. I have now found a new goal, a new purpose in life and I intend on showing everyone, including you, what I am made of. I know that I can be better and do better. And though a part of me is scared, I know deep down it’s worth fighting for. It’s time for me to put some order into my life and work toward my desired reality. Thank you for showing me the way to my destiny. You really are amazing!

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 Group 3

I hate that I love you because I can’t have you. You were the one thing that I could not control and I believe you will be the death of me. I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be better, that I just should keep living and enjoying life. I try to forget you but I can’t. I tell myself that I don’t care. That I don’t like you. That all I need is my family who always supported me but honestly that’s just bullshit. You are family as well. You have always supported me and the least I can do is be there for you too. I’m haunted by my memories of you. I want to talk to you so bad and a part of me is that close to giving in to temptation. But another just isn’t ready to face it. Those memories are too painful. Behind my cold exterior lies a ton of repressed feelings that I can’t seem to control. Whenever I’m with the people I love I can’t help but to think of you and wish you were there. Whenever I’m having fun and celebrating life, I can’t help but to think of you who always stood for me and cheered for me and feel grateful because this victory is also yours. In these moments, when I am the happiest, the first thing I want to do is come rushing to you to share that happiness with you. Ah you make me go crazy. I just want to leave it all behind and come back to you asap. Fuck it.

#just-a-ghost #pick a card #pac reading #love pac #oracle cards #Spotify

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drinkingcoffee-inthedark · 2 years ago

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Your Beauty Never, Ever Scared Me

Warning(s): ⚠️Smut, minors DNI⚠️, Body Image, Angst, Azriel has BWE (Big Wingspan Energy)

Pairing(s): Azriel x PlusSize!Reader

A/N: Beauty comes in all shapes, colors, and sizes. Never forget that you are beautiful and deserving of love. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. 🌸

Your eyes narrowed as you looked at Azriel in disbelief, still holding the now torn open envelope in your hand. In it was a black and silver card- shimmery, yet tasteful- an invitation to the Starfall celebration at the High Lord’s home.

“What do you mean you don’t think we should go? We’ve been mated for three months and I still haven’t met your family.”

He bit his lip, “I just don’t think…that it’s the right time.”

“You don’t want me to meet them.” Your disappointment was clear, cascading down the bond.

Azriel sighed, his beautiful hazel eyes a avoiding your gaze, “I do want you to meet them! It’s just…complicated.”

“What is complicated!? We’re mates. We love each other, right? So why don’t you want me to meet your family?” You demanded.

“(Y/N) …” He trailed off, stepping forward to take your hands in his. His eyes finally met yours.

“Are you ashamed of me?” You asked, your words hanging heavy in the air between you two.

His eyes widened.

“What? No!” He insisted.

“Bullshit!” You seethed, tearing your hands away from his as if they’d burned you.

The pain was evident in his eyes as he stared at you, pleading. His shadows swirled around him frantically.

“I think you’re a coward, Azriel,” You continued, your voice like ice, “You’re too scared to admit to anyone else that you love someone who looks like this.”

You weren’t a slender, tall, angular High Fae. You weren’t even a “lesser” Fae. You were a half-breed Human-Fae hybrid. You were short and heavy; round-cheeked and rounder-bellied. Your hips were thick and wide, and your legs were short and stubby. You stuck out like a sore thumb in Prythian, the land of the fae, which was home to some of the most beautiful creatures on the planet.

It was made so much worse by the fact that you were useless compared to the Inner Circle. You weren’t a warrior, or a spy, or a leader. You were just…you. A half-breed bakery owner. All you were good for is kneading dough and decorating cookies. A far cry from the smart, powerful fae that surrounded your mate.

You gestured to your body and huffed out a sarcastic laugh. “The fit, muscular, tough Illyrian warrior is too scared-”

He cut you off by slamming his hands on the wall on either side of your head, caging you in against the front door of your cottage. Azriel stared into your eyes, with an emotion you didn’t quite recognize swimming his. The tension hung thick in the air, clouding the room like his shadows, but you refused to shrink under his blazing gaze.

“(Y/N),” His voice was deep and firm. Unwavering. “You are the most beautiful being that I have ever seen. Inside and out. You’ve shared your body and your soul with me, and there is not a single part of you that I am ashamed of. Not now. Not ever.”

Your eyes softened. You took a breath, a sharp inhale, as tears clouded your vision.

“Az,” Your voice trembled, “You mean that?”

One of his scarred hands found it’s way to your waist and the other cupped your cheek. He swiped his thumb over your smooth skin, wiping away your tears.

“I mean that,” He told you earnestly, “You are perfect.” The intensity in his hazel eyes was enough to tell you that he meant every word.

You sniffled and peered up at him through your long eyelashes. “So why don’t you want us to go to Starfall?”

The Shadowsinger sighed softly and pressed a gentle kiss to your mouth, “Because being here with you is like a dream. I’ve always wanted this. I’ve always wanted you. I’ve been waiting for 500 years to find you. But you’re right. I am scared.”

You tipped your chin up in a small nod, a silent encouragement to continue. He let out a shaky breath.

“I’m scared that you’re going to really see me. For the monster that I am. I… I’ve tortured people. I’ve killed people. And when I’m here with you, I am not the Spymaster for the Night Court. I’m just Azriel. And I’m afraid that if you see me as I really am…” He sighed, “I’m afraid that you’ll be scared of me.”

Your eyes softened and you cupped his jaw in your hand.

“Azriel, you have shared your soul with me, as well. And I am not afraid of it. I’m not afraid of you. I could never be. You have done dark things, that’s true. But never anything that you didn’t have to do to preserve your own life, or the life of someone you love. You have always done what you thought to be right. You are loyal, and honest. You are loving and kind. You are my mate. And I wouldn’t change a single part of you.”

A singular tear ran down his cheek and you swiped it away with your thumb, just as he had done for you. He leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours.

“I love you, Azriel.” You whispered.

“I love you too, (Y/N),” He whispered back, “Let me show you how much.” His voice was heavy- thick with emotion.

You bit your lower lip softly, and nodded. You glanced down to his lips briefly, before meeting his eyes again.

“I’d like that.”

At that, Azriel lifted you up bridal style and cradled you in his arms. His Illyrian strength and centuries of working his muscles had him carrying your weight as if you weighed nothing at all.

Azriel carried you through the threshold of your bedroom door as you giggled softly. He set you down in the center of the bed gently. You stared up at him through your eyelashes and smiled warmly at your mate.

The stunning male crawled up onto the bed, settling on top of you, his legs straddling your hips. His wings were stretched out wide, as if he were shielding you both from the world; protecting you, as he always had. That was one of your favorite things about Azriel- how safe he made you feel.

He had one had on the best next to your head yo help him balance, and the other one cupped your cheek softly. The dark-haired male dipped his head and peppered short, teasing kisses to your lips. You smiled between each kiss and your chest vibrated with your silent laughter.

“Come on!” You whined, making him smirk.

“What’s wrong, my love?” He teased.

“Give me a real kiss!”

Azriel grinned, “Your wish is my command.”

And with that, Azriel dipped his head once more, and kissed you deeply. You returned his kiss just as earnestly, and moaned softly against his lips.

You felt you Mate’s tongue prod gently at the seam of your lips, and you eagerly granted him access. The smooth slickness of his tongue glided over your own, sending a shiver down your spine.

Azriel’s hand that was on your cheek, slid down to cup your breast. He gave it a tentative squeeze and you arched up into his touch. He gave another squeeze, firmer than the last.

The Shadowsinger pulled away for a moment, and took in your swollen lips and half-lidded eyes, and he smiled softly.

“So beautiful.” He murmured, before kissing down your neck slowly. He trailed kisses down to the tops of your breasts, where he placed a soft kiss in each one, before tugging the the straps of your dress.

“Let’s get this off,” He said, helping you pull the dress off over your head, and discarding it in the floor. The cool air hit your skin, and you felt completely exposed, despite the fact that you still had your undergarments on. You blushed slightly, and tried to cover your body with your hands. Of course, Azriel had seen you naked before, but this felt…different.

Azriel shook his head and gently lifted your arms away, and laid them flat in either side of your body.

“Az…” you began, biting your lip, “I feel—”

Part of you were embarrassed for Azriel. The tall, muscled, chiseled warrior, with a face that sent both men and women alike to their knees, was mated to you. He should’ve had someone better. Someone who offered more to him.

“The only thing you should feel,” Azriel cut you off, “is beautiful. Because if not, I haven’t been doing my job as your mate.” He said the last part softly, a hint of guilt in his voice.

But it wasn’t his fault you had insecurities. Never his fault. Azriel told you constantly how beautiful he thought you were. But it didn’t mean a lot when you couldn’t see it.

You looked up at Azriel, searching his honey-colored eyes. You could see the clear adoration, the love and warmth he carried for you.

Before you could reassure him, he had removed his own clothes—except for his boxers— and left them in a heap on the floor next to your dress. You let your eyes graze over his broad shoulders, muscled chest, and taught stomach. You took in those strong, powerful legs of his, and resisted the urge to run your fingers across his thighs.

Your eyes met his again, and he had a lazy smirk on his face.

“What are you looking at?” He teased.

“My mate.”

With that, his lips were in yours again, in a fervent, needy kiss. Unlike the gentleness of his previous kiss, this one was all teeth and tongues, pure desperation. There was nothing Azriel loved more than when you called him your Mate.

You returned the kiss just as urgently, meeting his tongue with your own, putting up a decent fight for dominance. You relented and let him win when he snaked his hands behind your back and unclasped your bra. You helped him pull it off your body, and tossed it to the floor.

Azriel’s eyes raked over your exposed chest, an insatiable hunger sparking in his blown-out pupils. He cupped your breasts in each hand and gave them each a light squeeze, before rubbing his thumbs over your nipples. You arched into his touch and gasped softly.

His skillful fingers alternated between pinching lightly, and tugging on the sensitive buds. You rolled your hips up into his, needing something, anything more from him. Azriel groaned at the contact, and dipped his head down to flick his tongue over your nipple. You exhaled his name softly, and your eyes fluttered shut.

The Shadowsinger took your nipple into his mouth and sucked softly. You laced your hands in his hair, feeling the smooth locks slide between your fingers. With each little suck and lick to your sensitive flesh, you felt the coil in your lower stomach getting tighter.

“Az, please…” you begged.

He released your nipple with a pop, and laughed easily.

“So impatient.” He smirked.

You pouted at him.

“I need more. Please,” you all but whined.

Azriel only chuckled again.

“Not yet, my love.”

Cruel, cruel male.

Azriel kissed a trail from your chest, all the way to the swell of your softy, round tummy. You felt your cheeks heat at the attention, and you giggles as his eyelashes brushed over your skin.

Azriel peaked up at you and smiled.

“My gorgeous, perfect mate,” he murmured, continuing down to your thick hips. He kissed your hip bones lightly, before making his way to your thighs.

“Every. Part. Of. You. Is. Flawless.” He said, punctuating each word with a kiss to your thighs.

You hummed in appreciation at the love he lavished upon you. You whole body was on fire with want for the perfect male before you. Your Mate.

“Please, baby. No more teasing,” you begged.

Azriel shook his head before looping his fingers through the waistband of your panties, and pulling them off in one swift motion.

“Uh-uh, I’m not done worshipping you yet, sweetheart,” he said.

Azriel looked up at you through his eyelashes and smirked, before dipping his head down to press a soft kiss your soaked core. You laced your fingers though is hair and hummed softly.

“Az…” his name fell from your lips with a quiet, desperate heat.

Azriel seemed to be as desperate as you were, because in an instant, this tongue was on your clit, licking slow and steady strokes across the sensitive nub. You arched up into his touch and screwed your eyes shut.

With a soft tug on his hair, Azriel picked up the pace, before his tongue shot down and slipped inside you, tasting you like you were his favorite meal. He worked his tongue inside you, his nose brushing deliciously across your swollen clit. You gasped out a choked moan, and your thick thighs clamped around the Spymaster’s head. He was trapped and there was no place he’d rather be.

A string of curses fell from your lips as you gyrated your hips, losing yourself in the sheer ecstasy your Mate was able to bring you. Azriel continued licking, and sucking, and tasting you like you were water in the desert. You felt your release barreling toward you.

You peered down at Azriel through your lashes, and the sight of him between your legs, coupled with his skilled ministrations was enough to send you over the edge. Your jaw went slack as you came, Azriel’s name on your lips, and your slick release on his.

His whiskey-colored eyes met yours as you painted heavily. He smirked up at you, proud of the mess he’s made of you.

“How was that, my love?”

You looked at him, the haze of your orgasm still hanging over you. Azriel’s question was more of a challenge. A dare to take everything he had to give. And you wanted it.

“So good, Az. So good,” you breathed out. “I need more. Please. Need to feel all of you.”

Azriel was never one to deny you pleasure. If not for your sake, then for his own. He needed you. He tugged off his boxers and crawled up to give you a quick peck on the lips.

“Are you sure, sweetheart?” He cooed, testing the tip of his hard length at your entrance.

You nodded frantically and rocked your hips, desperate for more contact.

“You’re so beautiful when you beg. So beautiful all the time. My beautiful Mate.” He said, before slowly pushing into you. The stretch burned slightly at first, but as you adjusted to his size, you couldn’t help but moan at how perfectly he filled you.

Azriel made love to you; slow, languid thrusts, making your body scream for more. You clenched around him with each thrust, making him groan out your name.

“You feel so good,” he praised.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, and your legs around his waist, clinging to him. He picked up his pace, thrusting faster, burying himself deep inside you. Each thrust had you seeing white haze at the edge of your vision. You closed your eyes and nuzzled your face against neck, pressing messy kisses to his skin.

You lapped at the beads of sweat dripping down his neck, the taste of the salt on his skin sending you brain into overdrive. Azriel groaned as you nipped at his neck.

Rolling your hips against his to meet his thrusts, you felt your body tensing. Your toes curled almost painfully as you orgasm drew closer to you. Heat looked in your abdomen, and you cried out your lover’s name.

“I’m so close,” you breathed into his neck.

“Look at me when you come for me,” he demanded.

You peeled your face from his neck and held your arms around him tighter. Your eyes met his, and the passion painted across his hazel irises was something you’d never grow tired of.

Azriel’s release was close as well, his movements becoming increasingly sloppy. You worked your hips even faster, needing him to finish along with you. Azriel’s hazel eyes bore into yours, each encouraging the other to meet on the other side of bliss.

“Want me to fill you?” He asked, his voice hoarse and strained.

“Please.”

At your request, Azriel came, filling you up as you wanted him to. Needed him to. Your name fell from his lips, along with a string of curses. It was enough to send you over the edge with him. You came around his still-hard cock, overwhelming Azriel’s senses.

“Fuck,” he hissed, through gritted teeth. Your body nearly shook as your orgasm ripped through you like waves. You panted out Azriel’s name, and he held you close, letting you ride out the pleasure.

Once the fog of your passion began to ebb, you and Azriel caught your breaths. You felt him growing soft, but he remained partially inside you as you held each other in silence.

After a few moments, he finally pulled out of you, leaving you briefly feeling empty and cold. It didn’t last long, however, as he laid next to you on the bed. He pulled you into his strong arms, and you laid your head down on his chest.

It was you that finally broke the silence.

“Does this mean we can go to Starfall?”

Azriel barked out a surprised laugh at your question, before an amused grin settled on his lips.

“Of course. I’d be honored to go with you.” His tone was teasing, but you knew he meant it.

You smiled into his chest.

“Good. I love you, Az.”

“I love you too, (Y/N).” He said, running his fingers through your hair. You relaxed against his body, and yawned. You felt his chest vibrate with a silent laugh.

“Go to sleep, my love.” He said softly.

“Mmkay,” you mumbled out sleepily, closing your eyes and drifting asleep with your smile still playing on your lips.

#acotar #azriel #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel x reader #azriel smut #azriel/reader #acotar smut #acotar fanfiction #azriel / reader #azrielxreader

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gojoscalico · 1 year ago

Text

Turn Back Time || f i v e

Summary: You were never sure when it started to fall apart but it did. 10 Years later and now you're facing him again. Will it reignite the feelings you both once had for one another? Or will you both end up walking away from each other once again? Word Count: 2004 A/N: I know the last chapter was so confusing but just trust the process!! Hahah! Also I am thinking of posting on Mon-Wed! But please enjoy this chapter and let me know if you would like to be added into the tag list for this story! Tags: @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @thefictionalcharacterssimp @picievi @tqd4455

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“Where’s Y/N?” Satoru glared at Suguru as he sat up from the hospital bed. “Satoru…just focus on getting better and we can talk about it when you get better.” Satoru looked around to find that Riko was in the corner of the room with her eyes closed. He sighed a bit in relief, he was glad that he was able to complete his personal mission of saving Riko from becoming Tengen’s sacrifice. He knew that there was going to be a fight with the elders of the clans and maybe even a fight with Tengen. But if she was born to be a sacrifice doesn’t that mean they can just choose someone else? “So you’re finally awake?” Satoru nodded as he winced a little in pain. “And you’re still alive?” She chuckled a little bit, “Thanks to you and Geto…”

“And Y/N. Where is she anyways?” Suguru sighed as he grabbed Riko. He has to tell him. He wanted to wait until he was a little better but he was going to find out eventually. Might as well find out now so he can't do anything since he doesn't have the energy left to do anything, “Riko why don’t you go wait outside? I need to talk to Satoru alone.” She nodded as she left the room leaving an awkward silence between Satoru and Suguru. All that could be heard was Suguru shutting the door behind Riko. The silence made Satoru nervous, he felt his heart beating faster. Trying to remember in what condition she was in before he came into the room to help fight Toji. He couldn't remember. His head had sent him into the worst place possible. She has to be okay. “You’re scaring me.” Suguru sat down on the chair by his bed and took a deep breath, “She’s gone…” Satoru’s whole world stopped as he felt a mix of rage and grief take over his body, “No…She was–”

“No, she left. She’s not dead. She left.” Suguru had forgotten for a second that Satoru hadn't seen her yet since the fight with Toji of course he would think she was dead. Satoru laughed away the anxiety that filled his body, “She’s okay then… when is she coming back?” He watched Suguru’s stoic face, “She’s…I don’t think she is.” Satoru laughed thinking that it was a joke and Y/N would rush through the door crying and hugging him because she thought he had died but he waited and no one bursted through the doors. “What are you…”

“After Shoko healed her she was summoned by Principal Yaga and then she started packing for a mission. But she packed all her stuff that meant something to her…things she wouldn’t normally bring with her because she was afraid to lose it.” Satoru was shocked; he sat there in silence trying to put things together. Trying to figure out why you would leave so suddenly with no explanation. Why you wouldn’t even wait till he woke up, if not to say goodbye but to at least tell him why you were suddenly leaving. “Get out.” Suguru nodded as he quietly got up from the chair. He knew what Satoru needed right now wasn't a friend but to be left alone.

Weeks have passed since you left the school. There was no news of you anywhere. It was as though you had vanished into thin air. Satoru did his own investigation trying to find some reason behind your decision. But the only thing he had heard happened before you left was that his clan and Yaga had talked to you after the Riko assignment. “Satoru, are you listening?” He shook his head, “Sorry. I was trying to ignore the bullshit coming out of your mouth.” He watched as a representative of the Zen’in clan scoffed at his remark. “You know your hubris will be your downfall, Riko is a sacrifice to strengthen Tengen-sama that's what she was born for so she has to be sacrificed.” Satoru, distinctly pissed off at the remark of the elder, got up and laughed maniacally in his face. He tried everything within him to not kill him. He was weak. A simple punch was all it took for Satoru but he didn't because all he can hear in the back of his head was your voice asking him if it would be worth it. After calming down a little he glared at the elder, “She’s a child, she has the right to choose whether she wants to live or not.”

“Really funny coming from a kid himself, did you fall in love with her or something?” Satoru scoffed pausing before he replied to the question. The only way he can think of right now to save Riko and to keep her from being sacrificed was keeping her by his side. “That’s right… and if you touch her you’d have to go through me and through the Gojo clan. Is that a battle you’re willing to fight?” Flabbergasted, the elder couldn’t say anything back. Satoru turned his head to the head of the Gojo clan. He was quiet and he sat there with his eyes closed listening to the conversation unfold. He suddenly opened his eyes looking straight into Satoru’s eyes. He meant it as a way to intimidate his clearly superior grandson but he didn't flinch. Dissatisfied he turned to the Zen'in elder who flinched at his gaze, “If my grandson is so sure of the way he feels about the young girl and she agrees to marry him then that makes her family. Which means you can’t touch her unless you have a death wish.”

“Tsk.” The Zen'in elder scoffed as he got up and left the room. Satoru won this fight but now he has to somehow explain to Riko that until he finds a way to stop them from coming after her as a sacrifice they are bound together. He watched as the head of the clan smirked. He knew Satoru was lying. But he didn’t care if it meant he could have him forget about that low-born sorcerer he had fallen for.

“Riko…what are you doing here?” Satoru asked as he glimpsed back at him to watch you walking away. Fuck. “The clan told me that the school was attacked and I had to make sure that you guys were okay…how’s Suguru?” Satoru sighed, “He’s fine. But now I am in a pickle because of what just happened.” Riko looked down at her shoes,”Sorry…I didn’t know who could be watching and it would just look weird if I didn’t run up to you like that…don’t you think you can explain everything to Y/N?” Satoru sighed as she ran towards Suguru. “I hope so…”

It's been a week since the incident but for some reason you were all still in Tokyo. You have been trying to avoid Satoru especially now that you knew that he was in an approved relationship with Riko. Your heart would hurt every time you thought about what made Riko good enough for Satoru but somehow to his clan you were an eyesore. Avoiding them was a little harder than you had originally thought because apparently Riko was a teacher at the high school too. And for some weird reason she had been looking for you everywhere. But you weren’t ready to meet them. Just thinking about Satoru holding her in his arms made your stomach turn. Afraid that when you would somehow run into him or into Riko you would burst into tears you decided to lock yourself in a hotel room you had gotten for yourself for three days. You spent most of those days crying or watching tv while crying or eating while crying. Whatever it was you were doing you were doing it while crying. You took a look in the mirror in the bathroom. Your eyes were red and poofy. Sighing, you washed your face with cold water wiping it dry with a clean towel from the rack in the bathroom before checking your phone; thirty-five missed calls from Hime and hundreds of texts all from just today. She was worried, after all you did what you did best when handed a difficult situation. You ran. You flopped yourself onto your bed groaning into the pillow. “Ahhhh…Why are you so stupid? Of course he was gonna move on, it's been a decade.” You sat up sighing as you dialed Hime’s number before placing the phone on your ear.

“Oh my god! You’re alive! Where are you?” You sighed, “Hime I’m fine…I’m at a hotel. I needed to uh…unwind?” You heard her laugh from the other end of the phone, “Was that a question or?” You sighed again, “I’m not sure but meet me at X Cafe in like half an hour.” Before hearing a reply you hung up, throwing yourself off the bed and back into the bathroom. You put some makeup on to hide the redness around your eyes, you didn’t want her asking any questions because you were supposed to no longer be in love with Gojo Satoru. So why should seeing him with another girl hurt you as much as it did now. You knew he wasn’t gonna be in love with you forever. Feelings fade, especially love, you knew that.

You walked to the cafe. You wanted to enjoy the Tokyo scenery before you went back to Kyoto. You didn’t want to admit it but you missed the way the streets are always bustling with people. It reminded you of the days when Satoru was afraid of losing you in the crowd and he would hold your hand and put it in his pocket. You remembered the first time he had done this the both of you weren’t dating yet and you were so sure it was the first time you felt your heart skip a beat. You laughed because you recollected the conversation with Shoko that ensued after that, you were so certain that you had caught a disease of some sort. “Arrived at your destination, X Cafe.” You paused as you turned your head to the left. You tried looking in from the outside to try and see if Hime had arrived but the windows were tinted a dark color which made it a little difficult so you just pulled the door open.

“Y/N!” You turned your head to the left of the restaurant and smiled waving as you walked towards one of the tables by the window of the cafe. You faltered as you suddenly became aware that she wasn’t alone. Fuck. Sitting at the same table as her was the trio and Riko. You glared at Hime who averted your gaze, “Hime…I see you brought other friends.” Hime laughed nervously, ‘Ha...Ha…Did I not mention this in any of my ten thousand messages.” You sighed because she probably had but you didn't bother reading the text messages. Satoru clearly saw the anger written on your face. He knew there was no way you wanted to see him. I mean he confessed to you while being in a ‘relationship’ he knew that his actions may have seemed unfair to you. “We really just needed to explain the situation to you since you kept avoiding us and we couldn't get a hold of you...” You nodded as you took a seat next to Suguru.

“Okay I’m here now…let’s talk. I have a lot I also need to tell you. And I honestly thought that I would have a little more time to gather my thoughts but since I’m ambushed I’ll have to wing it.” Satoru nodded, “Okay fair enough…to move past whatever happened between us ten years ago we need to talk about it.” You agreed as you looked down at the drink in front of you and took a sip. Satoru watched you drink the tea and he smiled, “I’m glad I still know your preferences.” You felt your cheeks burn red. Damn it.

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riotwritesthings · 5 months ago

Note

Hiii yellow or turquoise from the lovely pan flag If you want to <3

this is so dumb idk, I lost all control please enjoy

Fluttering Yellow and Turquoise

WinterIron - T, 1.8k - Crack, Banter

Tony blinks his way to consciousness and finds that he’s staring up at the warm glow of sunlight through a thick canopy of leaves.

“Ew,” he says, “why am I in a forest?”

The last thing he remembers is some kind of strange energy surging through the tower, the lights flickering and his hair standing on end, and then-

He woke up here. Tony really wishes he was more surprised.

“It’s always a portal,” he sighs as he climbs to his feet, brushing leaves and twigs from his clothes. “I better not be the only one who got caught up in this bullshit,” he grumbles, looking around.

He’s surrounded by massive trees, thick underbrush, and he doesn’t know nearly enough about plants to have a hope of figuring out where he is. He also doesn’t see anyone else around, and worst of all, the portal just had to scoop him up in the middle of getting dressed. He can already feel all the bugs coming for his bare chest and the countless parasites digging their way into his bare feet. Awesome.

After a couple seconds of mental debate, he decides to hell with the risk and shouts, "Hello?! Anyone else here? Even a rude portal-creator, maybe?"

The only reply is the soft rustle of leaves above him and the drone of insects.

“Rude,” he mutters, “they could have at least been around to pick a fight or something after magicking me here.”

He looks around again, but every direction looks the same, just trees and bushes and more trees. He’ll have to just pick a direction at random if he wants to go looking for… anything. He’s also pretty sure that the general rule is to not move when lost, but does it really count as lost when he’s been transported here against his will? And then just left alone to be eaten by insects?

“Ugh,” he groans as he swats at a bug that’s hovering around the light of the arc reactor, "this is why I hate magic. And anything even magic related, it all sucks."

From above him comes a chuckle, then a pained groan, and Tony whips his head up to find Bucky tangled in vines and dangling from thick tree branches about thirty feet above him.

“Oh hey,” Tony calls in greeting, “the portal got you too?”

“Looks like,” Bucky sighs, then starts to struggle against the vines and only accomplishes making himself swing and sway in place. “Why don’t I get to be on the ground?” He groans as he stills again.

“The portal likes me more I guess,” Tony says with a shrug, then wrinkles his nose and adds, “I’m not actually sure I’m happy about that.”

“Least you didn’ have to fall through th’ canopy,” Bucky grumbles, just loud enough for Tony to hear.

"Ooh, look who knows his forest terms," Tony says and then laughs as Bucky starts struggling uselessly again. “Do you not have a knife to cut yourself free?!”

Bucky stops wiggling to glare at him, and then reluctantly admits, “I don’t have one on me.”

“What?” Tony demands with another laugh, temporarily distracted from his anger at the mysterious portal, “Who even are you?!”

“Ha ha,” Bucky says dryly, “You know Sam won’t let me spar with concealed weapons anymore.”

“We’ve all heard the argument,” Tony says with a roll of his eyes, “One time he breaks his toes kicking you in the boot knife, and he’ll never let it go.” A thought occurs to him and he looks around the thick forest again as he asks, “So you were with Sam when the magic hit? I guess step one is figuring out if anyone else has been personally victimized by teleportation.”

"Step one should be you get up here an’ help me," Bucky says grumpily.

“Bold of you to assume I have a knife,” Tony says, “I don’t even have a shirt.” He swats at the bugs buzzing around his chest again and then starts eyeing the trunks of the trees that Bucky is tangled in, trying to figure out how the hell he’s going to do this.

The thick vines wrapped around everything give him hand-holds at least, so Tony grits his teeth and starts climbing. It’s a slow process, the air is thick with humidity, making everything slick and his bare feet slip off of the vines as he tries to make his way up. He’s pretty sure he can feel Bucky getting more and more impatient, and when Tony pauses to glance up he also feels pretty damn impatient about how little progress he’s made.

“Is this a bad time to mention I’ve never climbed a tree?” Tony asks sheepishly, risking letting go of the vines with one hand so he can wipe sweat from his forehead.

“Nah, seems pretty relevant,” Bucky replies, and it looks a lot like he’s trying to fight down a smile, “fair warning, if you fall I am gonna laugh.”

“Great encouragement,” Tony grumbles and returns his attention to climbing.

He has a couple of close calls, but he doesn’t actually fall to his probable death and manages to make his way up to where Bucky is dangling with minimum embarrassment.

“Wow, you are really tangled in here,” he says once he gets a look at how thoroughly Bucky is wrapped in vines and covered with loose leaves.

“Thanks, I hadn’ noticed,” Bucky says, his voice as dry as the desert, and Tony almost loses his hold when he can’t help but laugh.

“Stop,” Tony says, “this is gonna be the most dangerous part, don’t make me laugh. I might fall, I might cut you instead of the vines, who knows, anything could happen.” As expected, he nearly loses his balance trying to wiggle out the knife that, thank fuck, is still in the front pocket of his jeans, and Tony quickly adjusts his position so he can wrap his legs tightly around a sturdy branch. “Pole dance lessons, don’t fail me now,” he mutters under his breath, but apparently Bucky catches it.

“What?” He asks with a laugh.

“Nothing, you didn’t hear that,” Tony says quickly.

“I definitely did,” Bucky says, still laughing, “how has Rhodes never mentioned that in his ‘embarrassing Tony’ stories?”

"Because I threatened him with death," Tony hisses, “now stop laughing, I have a knife here.”

Bucky just grins at him, giving Tony’s admittedly small pocket knife a pointed look before his eyes go wide. “Is that the knife I gave you?” He asks, the teasing gone from his voice.

Tony looks at the knife thoughtfully even though he knows it is. It’s the only pocket knife he owns, because Bucky had gotten hilariously offended that he didn’t have one and had immediately pulled one out of his packet to all but force it into Tony’s hands.

“Impossible to say for sure,” Tony finally says dismissively, because it's that or admit he’s been carrying it pretty much constantly.

“Thought you weren’t gonna carry it,” Bucky says with a knowing grin that does dangerous things to Tony’s pulse.

“Shut up, I don’t know how it got in my pocket,” Tony grumbles, trying to ignore the heat in his cheeks and pointedly turning his attention to cutting Bucky free. The knife is razor sharp, no doubt Bucky’s doing, and it makes quick work of the vines.

“Get my hands first,” Bucky requests, wiggling the only two fingers that apparently aren’t trapped, “I don’t wanna fall any more.”

“And here I was planning on dropping you right on your pretty face,” Tony sighs, then bites his tongue while Bucky laughs.

With each vine that he cuts through Bucky drops an inch or two, swaying in place, and every time he makes a barely audible sound that Tony is trying really hard not to laugh at. He cuts another vine and Bucky lets out a queasy groan as he drops a little further.

“Don’t throw up,” Tony pleads, and he’s only half joking.

“I do not like this,” Bucky groans and what Tony can see of his face is pale, “I changed my mind, jus’ drop me.”

“Didn’t Sam say you just- jumped out of a plane, once?” Tony has to ask as he starts slicing through the vines a little more haphazardly.

"Yeah, an’ I regretted it, but don‘t tell him that,” Bucky says with a weak huff of laughter, “‘sides, that’s different, a quick fall an’ its over. This is- ugh, jus’ hanging here- if this takes much longer I really might- Fuck!”

A bunch of the vines snap at once with a surprisingly loud sound and Bucky drops further, jerking and swearing loudly. Something catches the branch that Tony is clinging to, and he only has a split second to feel it tip with a deep groan before it breaks and Tony falls too. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to prepare himself for an abrupt meeting with the ground, but instead he feels familiar metal fingers wrap around his wrist before he comes to a sudden stop.

Tony dares to squint one eye open and finds that he’s still dangling about ten feet off the ground. The branch he was on has landed in a massive bush that Tony is very glad he’s not also in, because the leaves are rustling aggressively with the stirring of countless bugs.

“Do not drop me in the murder hornet nest,” Tony demands as he shoots a quick glance up at Bucky, who’s clinging to another branch with one hand and Tony with the other.

“It might not be anything murderous,” Bucky says, but he doesn’t sound very confident. He does tighten his grip around Tony’s wrist at least, even when Tony jerks with a yelp as an explosion of color bursts out of the bush.

“Don’t let them eat me,” Tony says in a panic, trying to pull himself up and climb Bucky’s arm as wings flutter all around him.

"Then stop moving," Bucky returns as they both swing wildly, and Tony reluctantly does.

“Oh,” he says when he finally stills enough to see the bugs, “it’s butterflies. Butterflies don’t eat people, right?”

“Pretty sure no,” Bucky replies with a snort.

Tony looks up at him again as the butterflies continue to swarm past them in a riot of yellow and turquoise wings, making their way up towards the sunlight. Bucky has a small grin on his face as he watches it, and when he notices Tony watching him he smiles wider.

“Not th’ worst time we’ve ever been victimized by magic, huh?” Bucky asks, and Tony doesn’t think he notices that a butterfly has landed on his head, slowly flapping its wings.

Tony has to swallow his heart back down where it belongs before he can grudgingly admit, “Maybe second worst.”

Bucky laughs, sending the butterfly flying again, and Tony can only smile back.

#my fic #winteriron #bucky/tony #starkbucks #pride drabbles #riot writes #riot answers things

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ghoul-foolery · 30 days ago

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Flufftober, Day 27

Overstimulation / Soulmate AU

Prompt List - Kink/Flufftober Master List

> Soulmate AU > Nate/Nora/Hancock >Tags: MDNI, Soulmate bullshit, Dirty Windows universe, abrupt ending > Words: 1920

Notes: One of these days I’m just going to do a whole soulmate month because I had too many ideas I wanted to play with. This is Dirty Windows +Nate, because I still need more Nate/Nora/Hancock.

Nate’s hands were covered in Nora’s blood and panic was coming at him from all directions. It was his, and it was Nora’s, and it was someone else’s. It was overwhelming, and it was acrid. It mixed with the smell of pennies, and death and it took everything he had not to succumb to the urge to drop to his knees and puke. Then came Nora’s pain, electric like a livewire and absolutely breathtaking in its ferocity – Nora had been shot, she was bleeding, and Nate had been absolutely helpless to help– but he could help now, if only he could focus.

The first wave of Nora’s raging panic came crashing into Nate with breath-taking force, but somewhere between the armored guy glaring in through the viewing portal of Nate’s so-called sanitation pod, and vanishing before his very eyes, the ferocity behind Nora’s feelings waned. So did her energy. One second she was gripping her side, eyes bulging as she screamed for help, and the next her whole body was sagging, and her eyes were fluttering, “Nate? Nate please…” Her usual husky voice sounded rusty, and weak.

Then there was the new presence in his heart, and head. Not there one moment, but there the next. The presence was loud, and demanding. Confusion and alarm rushed to greet him like an over eager pet, as a new voice filtered through his consciousness. It mixed with Nora’s pleas, and his own rampant thoughts. “Who the fuck is Nate? What is – oh god, yer hurt. Hey. Hey you need to help her–” The man’s gravelly voice was lost one moment, but so sweetly desperate the next.

Visions filtered to him, coming from perspectives that weren’t his. The images overlapped with one another – Nora’s bloodied, drooping figure, his hands pressed against the oozing wound– his own panic-stricken face – gnarled, ringed fingers and dirty hardwood floor– Nate’s own voice mixed with theirs in a cacophony of sound. Nora’s whimpered apologies, the man’s increasing demand for Nate to help. It felt like he was shouting in an overcrowded bar and not just telling his wife that she needed to apply pressure to the wound so he could go look for a stimpack.

Focus. Breathe–

“I’m so sorry, Nate. I lost him–”

“Fucking do something, man! Look at her!”

He closed his eyes tight and blocked it all out-

The phantom pain in Nate’s side ebbed and then vanished all together. Nora’s waning presence did, too. Reaching out to this new entity was as easy as breathing, but it still felt fresh and new. A second soulmate. To have one was a gift. To have two was a rarity. And to have this person enter into their bond now, after years of it already existing, was a rarity if not an impossibility.

But it was something to be considered when his wife’s life wasn’t on the line.

“Hey, I–” they didn’t have time for formalities, but he found himself asking. “What’s your name?”

“Brother, are you not fucking hearing me? She’s losing blood–”

Asshole. Like he didn’t know. The blood was seeping through his fingers. It was oozing down his wrist and staining the cuffs of his vault suit. “What is your fucking name?”

“Hancock.”

“Hancock, I need you to calm down and stay with her. I’m going to go look for a stimpack.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

Nate guided Nora’s hand up to the bullet hole, she whimpered as he pressed her hand into place. He murmured, “I know, honey, I’m so sorry…” then to Hancock he said, “Keep her talking, keep her focused. Tell her to keep pressure against the wound until I get back. Can you do that?”

The ire in the man’s voice ebbed, giving way to uncertainty as he said, “How do I… I don’t…”

“Her name is Nora. She’s our soulmate, and I need your help to save her. I’m just asking that you try…”

The Pip-Boy’s geiger counter started to tick-tick-tick the moment Nora neared the edge of the stream. It seemed like just yesterday when the neighborhood kids were racing to the same spot after school to try their hand at fishing, and now it was irradiated – and their only consistent source of water. This whole post-bombing thing was heartbreaking. Everything had changed in a blink of an eye, and Nora was still doing her best to figure out how to properly cope with it all. Adapt or die had never been something she had had to consider. Not to this degree.

And yet there she was. Adapting. Or, at least, trying to. Trudging into post-apocalyptic Boston with a heart full of guilt, and moderate to severe blood loss hadn’t exactly set her up for success. Thank god for Nate – and Hancock.

Their new soulmate was an invaluable wealth of knowledge, and he was always so willing to help. He even helped her convince Nate to let her out of the house after a week of being cooped up inside under his and Codsworth’s constant care. She needed a bath, and she needed clean clothes, and Hancock was able to help convince Nate to let her have both but only after Nate found some Rad-X for the two of them.

Nate was already in the water, stripped down to his briefs and holding his hand out to her as she made her approach. The Pip-Boy kept ticking even as she removed it from her wrist.

“Be careful.”

“Nate, please–” A week of ‘be careful’ was enough to last her an entire lifetime.

“The rocks are slippery.”

Slipping her hand into Nate’s, Nora stepped down into the water. It was so cold it almost hurt, and yet it was everything she had been asking for.

“I’m fine. I promise.” Her bare foot settled down onto a rock, the smooth curve of the stone settling right against the arch of her foot. When she shifted her weight, she immediately slid. Not far, and not fast, but just enough for her body to jolt and twist to catch her balance.

Pain shot through the sewed up bullet wound like lightning.

She was mostly fine. “Ya know what, I think I’ll sit down and wash clothes first. Go ahead and get cleaned up.”

Nate grumbled a low, “Mmhm.” like he knew it hurt, and he probably did, but he said nothing else. He instead waded further into the water. Right when it got to his thighs he bent forward and dunked his head into the water to start scrubbing at his hair and scalp.

“Fucking Christ, look at him…” Hancock’s voice drifted through the quiet of her thoughts, rasping and gentle.

Nora did. Nate was tall. Six-feet and then some, but he wasn’t just tall he was broad, and he was strong. Dark hair, dark eyes, and a stunning smile. And he was capable. So capable. He hadn’t stopped moving since they left the vault, always foraging, always securing their home.

“Goddamn, he’s got a great ass don’t he?”

Nora clamped her lips together to keep from smiling, but she didn’t look away. If anything, she allowed her eyes to drift over her husband’s backside, over the shifting muscles in his back as he straightened and carded his hands through his hair. Water spilled over his skin in rivulets down to his waist.

“Hey, Nate?”

Nate turned to face her – the water from his hair spilled down his neck, through his chest hair, down, down, down…

“Yeah? Are you okay?”

A flood of amusement surged through her bond with Hancock as he practically purred, “Thanks for sharing, doll.”

“It’s nothing. Nevermind,” Nora said easily as she submerged her bloody vault suit into the water.

Seven days. Hancock had known about his soulmates for seven whole days, and they damn near consumed his every waking thought with worry.

Nate was a go-getter. He wasn’t the sort to want to sit idly when there were things that needed doing – and there was plenty that needed doing. He needed to hunt, he needed to forage, he needed to fortify his home, he needed to take care of his wife, and he needed to find his kid. Nate wouldn’t just sit the fuck down and breathe, and because of that Hancock was almost constantly checking in on him to make sure he didn’t get in over his head. The guy at least took it to heart when Hancock warned him that he needed guns and ammo before venturing too terribly far from home.

Then there was Nora. While he couldn’t help but be attached to both of his soulmates, he was already terribly sweet on Nora. Maybe it was because he’d damned near lost her the moment they met. Maybe it was because she had warbled about how she would have loved to get to know him, should she be given the chance - like knowing him would be some kind of goddamn gift. Poor Nora had been bedridden, but going stir crazy. She was riddled with guilt, and forced to just sit with it all as she recovered from near death.

Hancock spent his time going back and forth between the two, checking in on Nate to give him some Commonwealth advice, checking on Nora to make sure the stillness didn’t become too much. He’d gotten awfully proficient drifting between the two, or addressing them both. Slipping into the bonds that tied them all together, identifying who belonged to what emotions, got easier and easier. Especially with their guidance.

Which was to say the moment that Nate started to wade through the water towards Nora, Hancock shifted. One moment he was watching Nate approach him (as Nora), and then the next moment he was watching himself (as Nate) approach Nora. Hancock liked drifting between the two perspectives. Seeing the way they looked at eachother gave him hope that one day, given a little time, they might look at him that way too.

In the meantime, he liked to throw a little harmless flirting their way; like commenting on Nate’s (perfect) ass, and telling Nate, “Look how happy she is just getting out of that fuckin’ house for a bit. And look at that blush – your girl is a stunner, Nate. Shit.”

She was down to a t-shirt that she had more or less been wearing since they left the vault. It was dotted with blood around the site of her stitches, but was mostly clean if not feeling a little grimy with wear. And she was beautiful, her feet in the stream, her hair tied into a messy knot on the top of her head as she scrubbed at the bloodied blue suit. She was a little tired, a little messy, but she was so incredibly authentic. Fucking stunning.

When Nate got close enough to Nora, damn near toe-to-toe with her, Nora canted her head back to look up at them.

“Why are you blushing?” Nate grumbled, his voice playfully accusatory.

“No reason,” Nora said, but the corners of her mouth tilted upward.

“She’s lying Nate. Don’t you believe her for a second.”

“Hancock says you’re lying.”

Nora’s smile was big, beautiful and brilliant. She looked like she had more life in her than she had in days as she said, “Hancock, you traitor.”

Most days Goodneighbor was it for him. It was home. He had the bar, he had the Old Statehouse. He had Fahrenheit, and Whitechapel, and Daisy – but he knew in his heart he’d give it all away just to be at the stream with them. He couldn’t wait until they were ready to meet.

#human x ghoul #fallout 4 #fallout #hancock #fallout fanfiction #fallout hancock #fanfiction #soulmate au #Nate x Nora x Hancock #2024 Kinktober #2024 Flufftober #Soulmate bullshit choo choo

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tojiscumdumpster · 10 months ago

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⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ PART ONE - TOJI

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ summary page

✧ content warnings unaliving of major character.

“Any last words?”

Within the next few minutes, I’ll be dead. I knew this the moment I saw that blue-eyed freak reappear after when I thought I killed him. Fucking sorcerers and their cursed technique bullshit. Maybe I was too confident thinking I would win the second time. I doubted myself at first, but then I calmed down… No .

I was just too confident.

A world like this wasn’t meant for a monkey like me. I was born into a fucked up family that treated me like shit because I didn’t have any cursed technique. The scar on my lip reminds me of it every day. I got over it, though. I accepted this was my faith. I served my purpose and it was time for me to go.

Still, I can’t help but wish I made it out alive. That I had a little bit more time.

“Nah,” I replied, vaguely.

How am I supposed to answer some cliché question like that?

Any last words?

Why would I tell him that?

Tell him about the thoughts and images that’s in my head.

Tell him that I had a wife who actually saw some good in me. Good enough to get pregnant and raise a kid together. Tch, me? Toji Fushiguro? A husband and father? I never thought I would live to see the day. And of course, it didn’t last long.

My wife died because of an incurable sickness. I never felt pain before. Not when I’m standing here with half my body blown off. Not when my family tortured me. But the day she died, I felt pain. I didn’t cry. I just felt empty. Felt like I had no reason to be decent anymore. How was I supposed to raise a kid by myself?

She told me I was going to be okay.

I wasn’t okay.

I’m a fucked a person.

A fucked up father.

I was never meant to carry responsibility because it never lasts long. Good things don’t last long. Death will always be endgame. So I went on with my life. I left my kid to fend for himself. Even Kong tried helping me take care of him, which was a waste on his part.

There was no point.

I was never made to be a fucking dad. Me selling my son to my family is better than what I could’ve done for him. It wouldn’t make any difference if I was or was not in his life because I would never be good enough to be a father. . . A person . . . But I met. . . Her .

In my final moments, I think of my late wife, my son, and her.

Y/N.

Another person who managed to see the impurity I have in me as pure.

What I had with Y/N was accidental. Not in a bad way, but we met on a whim. I met her at a bar a few months after my wife died. She was just so…vibrant. Special. Y/N puts words in my vocabulary I thought I kept reserved for my late wife.

Gorgeous. Breathtaking. Sexy. Deep brown skin, and a bed of coils on her head that smelled like honey and pomegranate. Curves of a siren but a face of a goddess. I wanted her to lose herself in me…

It seems like I lost myself in her.

A one night stand turned into every night. Sex turned into conversations, and conversations turned into…

Feelings.

A sick motherfucker like me who killed a teenager for money, almost killed one who fucking did reversed cursed technique to come back to life, and left another badly beaten, has feelings. For another woman who isn’t my dead wife.

The shit I got myself into with Y/N, having unspoken feelings for a woman I’m never going to see again, and she is a part of my last dying memories.

I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to this fucking sunlight beaming in my face every time I sleep here. Y/N says light helps you through the day, so being met with it first thing in the moment will give you the energy that you need.

Whatever that means.

However, I would be lying if I said I don’t feel calm right now, especially after last night.

We had an argument like we’re a couple. We’re not. I don’t know what exactly is going on between me and Y/N, but I know I’m selfish enough to claim her as mine without actually having a title. I made it very clear that I would kill anyone that she tries to move on with, and I have every intention of keeping that promise.

And I know she’s probably getting sick of this complicated situation we have.

I fuck her, we talk, and when I felt like it was getting too real, I leave for weeks then return when I think I have my feelings under control.

But see that’s the thing, no matter how long or far away I am from Y/N, I’ll never have what I feel for her under control.

What I feel is indescribable. She makes me feel like I have a choice to be better. To do better, and when I’m around her, I think that I want to.

I sound like a fucking sap. Toji Fushiguro, the Zen’in fuck up, having feelings all because of her. Love is foreign to me. Never thought I would come close to experiencing it again, but Y/N helps me find the meaning.

And even if I never said those words to her before, I feel it.

I feel it when I wake up in her bed, laying in the sheets that carry her lingering scent. Vanilla. Almonds. A hint of jasmine with sweet berries.

I feel it when I walk into the kitchen to see her cooking breakfast while wearing my shirt.

Fuck, she’s so goddamn sexy and beautiful. Morning wood is getting harder by the second.

My arms find Y/N’s waist to wrap around and pull into my erection so she can feel what she does to me.

“‘Morning, sweets,” I grumble, kissing the sweet spot behind her ear. She relaxes into my arms, but still manages to cook.

“I see you’re finally up… and here,” she says with a soft smile on her face.

“We are up.” We, meaning my cock and I. “And I am here. I told you I was staying the night. Thought I was lying?”

“No, I thought something might’ve come up. You know—with your sorcerer killing business.”

I hum. “Not today, but I do have something to handle in a couple of days.” Soon I need to take down the fake bounty I put out for the Star Plasma Vessel to make my move.

Y/N’s body tenses, shoulders becoming rigid and putting distance between us due to me telling her that I’m leaving soon. She turns off the stove, puts down the cooking spoon and turns to look at me. I know she’s mad at me. More so, disappointed. I just can’t help but think how fucking gorgeous she is, especially in the morning.

“You’re leaving already?” she asks. “I haven’t seen you in weeks, Toji. Where are you going now?”

“I’m not going anywhere far. I’ll be in Tokyo. It’s a quick job, then I’ll come back to you.”

Y/N purses those full pretty lips and crosses her arms over her chest, causing the swell of her breasts to be seen.

Now isn’t the time to have horny thoughts about her, but fuck.

“Whatever. Breakfast is ready. You can grab a plate.” Y/N turns to walk away from me. “I’m going to start getting ready for work.”

“Hey,” I say, grabbing her wrist to pull her back into my arms. This time, enclosing her tightly so she doesn’t leave until I let her. “I said I’m coming back to you. Didn’t I?”

“Yeah, and you always fucking say that. Don’t you? What makes this time different?”

“Because I-” Before those words escaped my mouth, I looked away.

The stare of Y/N’s round chestnut-colored eyes weigh on me while she waits for me to speak.

It’s quiet. Early morning, all that is heard is the birds chirping, making the silence between me and Y/N even fucking louder. We’re like this for about thirty-seconds until she realizes my unfinished words.

Her face softens. “You… what?”

“Y/N…” I sigh. “It’s not easy for me. These fucking words. These emotions. They’re all jumbled in my head. I just-”

“When you come back.” She interrupts, however, I don’t understand what she’s saying, so she continues. “Promise me, whatever you were going to say to me, promise that you’ll say it when you come back.”

“Sweets-”

“Just promise.” Her voice slightly breaks, eyes already glossing from the near tears.

I look at Y/N and see peace. Hope. Maybe’s and what ifs. Again, feelings that are foreign to me. Feelings I should be incapable of feeling. Shit, I fucking hate this… Then again, I don’t.

She doesn’t deserve the half-assessed bullshit I’ve been giving her. The inconsistency, and lack of commitment.

And I don’t deserve anything she gives me. Her time. Honestly. Empathy. Hell, not even the sex. But she gives it to me because she sees some shit in me that I don’t.

Maybe… maybe I should try again…

Just for her.

“I promise.”

Some promise that fucking was.

I told Y/N I’ll be back later on tonight. Told her to get pretty so I can take her out to dinner. Unless I magically gain reverse cursed technique, I think my time on this earth and with Y/N has come to an end.

I should’ve never made that damn promise. Not because I didn’t think I couldn’t keep it. But because she’s holding onto something that’s never going to happen.

That smile. Her scent. The peace she gave me… all of it was temporary. I knew a fuck up like me didn’t have any true purpose in this world. Today is the day I atone to my sins.

I’m surrounded by grey, black, and white, where the only ounce of color I felt in years, is when I was with Y/N.

I’ll never see her again, so the least I could do is this.

After I told this little Gojo fuck about my kid, I attempted one more request.

“Actually, if you could go to these brown apartments in Shibuya outside of Ebisu Station,” —I cough up blood— “there are the only ones with that color, fourth floor, fifth door to your left. Tell her… Tell her I’m not coming.”

He looks at me with confusion.

It was worth a try.

“If you won’t, then what-”

“Okay,” he answers, flatly.

I’m sorry, Y/N.

I’m so sorry I broke our promise.

Again.

Fuck, why does my heart feel like this? It feels… broken.

NEXT CHAPTER

#jjk x black reader #anime x black!reader #toji x black reader #toji fushigro x reader #toji x reader #toji angst #jjk angst

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ochrearia · 2 months ago

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Have... No One?

I felt bad for doing that to YS last drabble and I actually can't read it without making my own heart hurt so I. Yeagh. Ofc it's Biff and YS mainly why is anyone surprised those are my boys. Boyf and Peacock come in at the end because I started feeling guilty over Biff favoritism

BFs in this one-shot: PoPr!BF (Biff, mine), fc!BF (Boyf, Keyy's), sfa!BF (Peacock, Shed's), Yourself (YS)

YS hadn’t slept. The sun had come out now, filtering through the window shade. He hadn’t slept. Just cried to himself like a pathetic little thing, until all his tears were gone and nothing but emptiness was left. His eyes were blank, staring at the wall. Sleep wasn’t possible for such a hollow husk. At least he was used to the pain in his chest now. The cold, though, not so much. If he wasn’t careful he might actually do some damage to his body leaving it under the vent with the cold air on. But he wasn’t trying to be careful.

Need someone, have no one. Need someone, have… Biff?

When had he gotten here?

“Oh you poor thing, you’re freezing.” Biff dismayed, taking in the state of him. “You’re small, and cold, your hoodie is halfway across the room on the floor and you love that thing, what happened?”

YS could really only just look at him blankly. At some point last night he’d literally had a thought that he couldn’t isolate anymore like he used to, and somehow he’d still forgotten they could come through his mirror whenever they wanted. He could still just… vacate his apartment entirely but fate would have it that he’d never have the energy to when things got so bad.

“What happened?” Biff asked again, making his voice as gentle as he possibly could. “You look so empty, it scares me… Please, what’s wrong?”

I almost did something bad last night. YS’s inner voice worked, but that didn’t translate to actually speaking. Needed someone. Had no one. Still have no one…

He failed to notice that his microphone was blazing a gentle red again- she was awake and active, though what she was doing wasn’t immediately obvious.

“That’s not true.” Biff’s voice wavered, answering what should have been a voice locked to YS’s mind only. “God, that’s not true, you have someone, you have so many someones, I’m right here in front of you. Can’t you see me? I’m so sorry, I should’ve been here.”

Sleeping. YS countered. All of you, asleep and happy because nothing was obviously wrong. Not interrupting that.

“You’re freezing…” Biff brought up again, walking away slightly only to pick up the discarded hoodie from its place on the floor. “You love this hoodie to bits, why’d you take it off?”

Don’t deserve it. Made it out to be something that meant so much more than it ever did. Just a thank you gift. Nothing actually meaningful. No point in lying to myself.

“Nothing actually meaningful? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Biff seemed almost offended.

Gift from my… “brothers”. Convinced myself that it could mean I was loved. People don’t love me. I lost the only person who did and it was my fault. I’m far past the point of being loveable. I am made to care. I am not made to be cared for.

“You’re… you’re talking so much bullshit.” The smaller insisted, shaking his head. “Don’t say brothers like that, like it’s not real. You are my big brother. You’re a big brother to all of us and I could call every single one of us in the group chat right now and they’d confirm it. What awful bastard of a voice is in that head telling you you’re not cared for?”

Can’t be like this. YS thought pitifully, shivering and curling up tighter on himself. So damn small. Hated being small. Everyone relies on me. I have to make everything better. I can’t ever be anything less than at my best. I’ve never been at my best…

Biff stared at him. Oh, he’d had enough. Enough of his brother talking like his life was going to be over soon, enough of the toxic thoughts that wouldn’t leave him alone, enough. YS was sitting in front of him suffering from cold he’d seemingly let himself fall to. Talking about how he’d falsely convinced himself he was loved because he didn’t believe anyone actually did. This was enough. He couldn’t take it away in any real capacity but he would sooner die himself than do nothing.

“I’m picking you up.” Biff warned, before doing it anyways.

The smaller YS ended up being, the more he was in clear turmoil. The fact that the normally freakishly tall one was now only half of Biff’s size was very concerning. There were only two reasons he lost control of his shapeshifting like this, and it certainly wasn’t because he was flustered and embarrassed. When things made him feel small mentally, his power activated on its own off of that. There was no embarrassment here. Just empty eyes and freezing limbs.

For a moment YS wondered where Biff thought he was taking him. Turns out, he wasn’t taking him anywhere. Since he’d shrunk without the hoodie on, it hadn’t shrunk with him. Now the piece of clothing was so big on him he could drown in it. Biff draped it over him instead, like a superhero cape. He then maneuvered his way to where YS had been laying seconds before, back leaned against the pillow. The angel was left to lie across Biff’s chest and lap while he pulled the discarded weighted blanket over the both of them.

“I don’t give a single shit what your depression is telling you to think. It’s not true and I’m sorry that no one was here to tell you that when you really needed it.” Biff sighed, a hand coming up to pet through YS’s hair.

Tired. Tired of all of this. Just want her back. Why can’t I just be okay?

“We’re all just one call away. You needed someone and we would’ve picked up the phone regardless what time it was. Sleep is hardly important to me if someone I care about- no, fuck this, I’m not dancing around the word anymore. I don’t care about sleep when someone I love is crumbling alone.”

Love.

It’s not nice to lie about something like that. YS immediately thought in response. Who said he was lying? Another thought answered right after. Confusing. What the hell was he saying?

“Not lying.” Biff affirmed. Whether his words would be believed or not was the real question. “You’re my big brother, and I love you, okay? You’re freezing cold and I’m not letting you anywhere out of my arms until you warm up. Can’t let you get sick by being careless.”

Warm. He’s almost burning hot, how cold did I let myself get? A moment of clarity, what the fuck was he doing? Good warmth. Loving warmth. Want this… Need this.

“It’s okay to need someone.” Biff continued to comb his fingers through YS’s hair, taking relief in how he moved to push into his hand. “It’s good to be strong within yourself, but that shouldn't be all you are. People are made to be social, to be around other people, to love them. Love them in whatever way they want. You didn’t lose the “only” person who loved you. Fuck, she’s still technically here. But she’s not the only one, far from it. Don’t you remember how she brought us here the last time?”

The last time. When he’d almost done the bad thing again, before any of them knew they could mirror-walk. A week alone, worrying them sick. Guilt? No, he was still too empty. Still shivering, but less, because Biff was warm and he was surrounded. The hoodie, the blanket, him. Things he loved. Things that made him feel loved.

“You’re exhausted.” Biff said plainly, catching sight of the way YS’s eyes struggled to stay open properly. “You’re safe, you know. I’ve got you. How many times have you led us to fall asleep on you because you made us feel safe? It’s your turn now.”

Needed someone. Have… little brother. Have Biff. Have the rest. Warm… love is warm.

Biff offered a soft smile at the other, pleased when he felt YS’s arms move from tucked against his own chest to wrapped around his middle. Later when things were better, he expected the other to complain about how he was ‘abusing the ways to placate him’ but it wasn’t abuse. No, this was being used exactly how it needed to be.

Biff sent a quick text to the group chat. Communication was important and he wasn’t going to gatekeep information like this. He told them YS had a bad night, and if they had time, to come over when they could. But in the interest of keeping the resident cuddler from getting overwhelmed…

Humming… lullaby, for me? Even YS’s thoughts were getting slower and more tired. Haven't heard this one… Personalized? My little game turned against me?

Biff wasn’t entirely sure what he was talking about. But he’d remembered all the times the other would hum to him to give him comfort, why not give that back? It wasn’t the same song YS used for him. Something had compelled him to pick something different, something he felt was fitting. His little game? Did YS have specific songs for each of them?

“Get some rest now.” Biff whispered between hums. Good old, reliable song. YS seemed to like it.

The rest of YS’s thoughts trailed off into nothing as his eyes slipped closed. Biff listened to his breaths, going from quick and shaky to deep and slow. His shapeshifting activated again, allowing for some height back, but not all of it. Funny, now they were actually the same size. Biff-sized YS.

Had he been thinking about the other in place of feeling small?

Biff kept humming, eyes flicking to the mirror when he saw Peacock step through, followed shortly by Boyf. He hadn’t actually expected anyone to show up this fast, props to them. Man, he’d coaxed YS to sleep too fast, now he didn’t get to see how loved he was that some of the others were probably dropping everything to be here.

Oh well. He’d fallen asleep being loved, and he’d wake up later to see how much love was waiting for him.

Biff beckoned the two over with a head tilt, unwilling to give up on his humming. Both of them looked just about ready to latch onto YS and never let him go, which, honestly, considering the state Biff had found him in, he was already doing himself. With the extra body heat from them he’d end up boiling alive on his own, but YS deserved it and he wasn’t about to move.

“What happened?” Boyf thought, unsure if they’d even be able to hear him.

“His microphone…” Peacock pointed out, subject still glowing red on the table.

I don’t want to give up humming. Hoping that she’s letting you guys hear my thoughts right now, that’s one of the spells she’s able to do. Biff thought back. Oh, that’s weird. How come it feels different to when you do it, Boyf?

Peacock and Boyf blinked, but reacted enough to show that his hope was right.

“I uh. Don’t really know.” Boyf shrugged. “Avoiding the question. What happened?”

I’m not fully sure. Found him purposefully under the air conditioner vent without his hoodie or the blanket. I think he was… trying to make himself suffer. He doesn’t think very good of himself. Convinced that he’s not loveable and that the hoodie is just a thank you gift. I hate this. Right when I think he’s getting better it all gets exponentially worse.

“Wish we could’ve been here for him sooner.” Peacock admitted quietly. “It’s like, impossible to tell what’s going on with him because he refuses to talk about any of it. There’s only so much we can do.”

“Then we do what we can until we can do more.” Boyf replied firmly.

“Hah, yeah…” Peacock agreed. “Haven’t seen him small before. You guys kept saying he could get small and I never got to see it before now. Sucks that it’s such a circumstance.”

“He can be even smaller than that.” Boyf chuckled. “Becomes almost like a chibi character. Tiny ass idiot that we can pick up.”

“Holy shit, I wanna do that.”

Pff, I’m sure you’ll get your turn Peacock. There’s some very easy ways to get him embarrassed enough to shrink. Biff thought evilly. Not now though. Let him sleep, and I got here first so I have dibs. This is my big brother teddy bear.

“Whatever happened to sharing is caring? Bro doesn’t even believe in childhood concepts.”

Fuck off. You two should move faster though, might want to pile on before anyone else gets here and takes the chance. Biff snarked, bringing his free arm to wrap snugly around the sleeping angel.

“I want to point out that I was still the first one to get here after your message and that should count for something.” Peacock sniffed. “That being a chance to hug the big guy.”

“Lmao, ‘big guy’ when he’s the small one right now.”

No way in hell you’re making fun of my height and unironically using ‘lmao’ to do it in the same sentence. This moron was going to make him lose his place in his humming. Stupid idiot brother. Just get over here already. I can’t keep humming this forever and I want this idiot to get a substantial amount of sleep for once.

“Don’t have to tell us twice.”

#rgbfverse #I exist only for the song I chose for this that's how important it is #Sorry YS this is my apology to you. For doing that #Leaving this open ended like Little Lullabies. In case anyone wants to do something abt it #This formatting might be awful. Lmao sorry #Still tw for sh via warmth starvation

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cecilebutcher · 1 year ago

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ღLaufey songs I associate with twst boysღ

I’m back on my musical bullshit😎 just so we’re clear, this has zero thoughts, behind it o7 Enjoy!!

!!Don’t like,it does nothing. Reblog instesd!!

Characters: Every nrc student + some oc’s

Riddle Rosehearts: like the movies

“Maybe I'm just old fashioned. Read too many fairytales. It's no wonder I've had no luck, no one's ever good enough. I want a love like I've seen in the movies.That's why I'll never fall in love”

Trey Clover: I wish you love

“And in July a lemonade. To cool you in some leafy glade. I wish you health. And more than wealth. My breaking heart and I agree. That you and I could never be. So with my best, my very best. I set you free”

Cater Diamond: someone new

“I have to get off Instagram. I keep on going back. Looking at our memories. I know that you will soon delete. We turn to strangers in a day. Now you walk away. Every time I catch your eye. When did you become so shy?”

Ace Trappola: Best friend

“I have never tolerated someone for so long. I've never laughed so much. I haven't written a sad song. There's no one else I'd rather fall asleep with. And dream with. You're my best friend in the world”

Deuce Spade: just like Chet

“Why did you put me through. 11 months of "you're so pretty's, " "I miss you's"? It's absurd what even occurred between autumn and spring. If you never loved me. In a perfect world. I wouldn't have met you that night. Would've stayed with my friends. And just danced 'til the morning light”

Leona Kingscholar: Valentine

“I've rejected affection. For years and years. Now I have it, and damn it. It's kind of weird. He tells me I'm pretty. Don't know how to respond. I tell him that he's pretty too. Can I say that? Don't have a clue”

Ruggie Bucchie: Promise

“It hurts to be something. It's worse to be nothing with you. I've done the math. There's no solution. We'll never last. Why can't I let go of this?”

Jack Howl: lucky for me

“When the sun goes away in the autumn. And the leaves trickle down from the trees. The heat of the summer's forgotten. You'll be here, so lucky for me. You don't tell me to shut up. Even when I talk too much you smile at me. Say, "Don't worry"”

Azul Ashengrotto: From the start

“Oh, the burning pain. Listening to you harp on 'bout some new soulmate. "She's so perfect, " blah, blah, blah. Oh, how I wish you'll wake up one day. Run to me, confess your love, at least just let me say”

Jade Leech: above the Chinese restaurant

“Street sounds blistered with neon lights. Heard the neighbors snoring every other night. Eating dumplings from next door. Finish 'em up they'd give us some more. Didn't realize we had it all. Even when the roof came caving in that fall. Oh, I loved you more than you know. Covered in the flakes of crystal white snow”

Floyd Leech: dancing with you tonight

“Silly boy, don't talk to me. I don't have the energy. Please don't ask to dance with me tonight. I do better on my own (on my own). I don't mean to come off cold (come off cold). But my dear, I'm all danced out tonight. Now the gin is hitting me. And it's almost half-past three. Am I crazy or seeing things? I'm sorry if I can't go for another swing”

Kalim Al-Asim: Magnolia

“A word from her lips, her sirens kiss. Will send you straight into abyss. Magnolia, I wish she'd give her secrets away. Enchants everyone and I think it'd be fun. To be like her someday. But I cannot compete with her. Perfection is the only word. I think of when I think of Magnolia. She doesn't know that the world is turning just for her”

Jamil Viper: Street by Street

“Step by step, brick by brick. I'm reclaiming what's mine. This city is way too small. To give away to just one guy. Street by street, breath by breath. From the Back Bay to the sky. I'm taking back my city. I'm Taking back my life. The cafe Where you asked me for my name. The bookstore we spent Five hours hiding from the rain”

Vil Shoenheit: beautiful stranger

“What if I would've stayed on the train? Dared to stand up and ask for his name. Maybe we would have exchanged a few words. A fairytale moment could have occurred. But my beautiful stranger will have to remain. A stranger until I see him again. See him again. Hmm, mmh.”

Rook Hunt: fragile

“The soft candle glow. The music so slow. Your skin on my skin. The room is spinning. Nerve in my bone. I'm shaking oh no. I'm talking though I shouldn't be. I've lost all sensibility. I've never been so fragile”

Epel Felmier: falling behind

“'Cause the sun's engaged to the sky. And my best friend's found a new guy. I'm only getting older. I've never had a shoulder to cry on. Someone to call mine. Everybody's falling in love and I'm falling behind”

Idia Shroud:this is how it feels(ft. D4vd)

“This is how it feels. To fall in love with you. To always think of you. To always dream of you. Yes, it hurts so much. To fall in love with you. So if this is how it feels. Tell me if our love is real. There's some type of strange appeal. To the way it was so effortless, uh. I cannot help it”

Malleus Draconia: Bewitched

“You bewitched me. From the first time that you kissed me. Waited all night. Then we ran down the street in the late London light. The world froze around us, you kissed me good night. You bewitch me. Every damn second you're with me. I try to think straight. But I'm falling so badly, I'm coming apart. You wrote me a note, cast a spell on my heart. And bewitched me. Bewitched”

Lilia Vanrouge: night light

“Cardboard boxes covеring the floor. Guess I won't be living in here anymore. Take down the posters of the pop stars on the wall. Empty room, it looks so small. All of the laughter. All the sleepless nights. Waiting for ever after. Snow falling outside, keeping on the night light”

Silver (Vanrouge): let you break my heart again

“One day, I will stop falling in love with you. Some day, someone will like me like I like you. Until then, I'll drink my coffee, eat my pie. Pretend that we are more than friends. Then of course I'll let you break my heart again. Some day, one day. I will stop falling in love with you. Until I do. I'll be thinking of you. Let you break my heart again”

Sebek Zigvolt: dear soulmate

“Dear soulmate. Do you think of me? 'Cause I do. Do you have green eyes or are they brown like mine? Do you have a sister too? Dear soulmate. One day I'll give this song you. We will drive up to the mountains? Camp in a little tent? When the bears come at night. Will you put up a fight? Or will you hide with me in my flashlight?”

Ibhana “Vesper” Baske: questions for the universe

“Falling in love feels more like crashing. Stars spin around my head. So I'm asking. Will my worries ever melt away? Mm. Run out of sentences to say. Wish that I could put this into better words. Will I ever fall in love or will I always search?”

Tao Yúchi: second best

“I'll never forget how stupid in love I felt. I'll always regret how I couldn't ever tell. That you walked a little faster, left me behind. Kissed me with somebody else in mind. I loved you so much. That I settled for less. Oh, you were my everything. I was your second best.”

Igor Kazentoc: serendipity

“I won't pretend I've been anxious. Just like I've always been. This time it's sticking. And time just stops ticking. When I have my arms around you. Four-leaf clovers and lucky dimes. Coincidences and cosmic signs. Have proved that I am quite naive. I'm falling fast, filling gravity. And all that I see is serendipity”

Junto Shuisha: everything I know about love

“I wouldn't mind (ahh). I heard that falling fast is so divine. Are these songs just telling plain old lies? 'Cause that's everything I know about love (ooh, ooh). Everything I know about love (ooh, ooh). I don't know that much at all. I trip, I fall. Every time I try, it's all too much. That's everything I know about love”

Jasper Spade: slow down

“I wish it would slow down. Even for a second. I'm so old now. Left my adolescence. Going out to parties. And getting way too drunk. Think I found somebody. But don't think that it's love. I wish it would slow down. Slow down. Mhm, mhm. ”

Aikat Spanos: I’ve never been in love before

“I've never been in love before. I thought my heart was safe. I thought I knew the score. But this is why. It's all too strange and strong. I'm full of foolish song, and out my song must pour. So please forgive this helpless haze I'm in. I've really never been in love before”

Phobes Spanos: what love will do to you

“Lately, I've been in a haze. Running late, can't think straight. The world feels smaller, yet the trees look taller. There's enchantment in the air. I know I sound stupid, I do. That's what love will do to you. Read my favorite book. For the hundredth time. At least I know of how it ends. In real life it just all depends”

Yes I know I placed valentine for my baby boy Sebek in the last post, but it fits Leona this time ok?

Anywho hope ya’ll enjoyed this as much as I had fun writing this:D

Finally back to posting shit!! I have had this in my drafts for ages

!!requests are open!!

comments are more than appreciated. but reblogs help the content reach more people so please reblog if you want to like<3 likes do nothing. Seriously, don’t like, reblog.

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catmilf4life · 6 months ago

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I wish i hated you

Matt sturniolo x fem reader

!no smut in this oneee!

!enemies to lovers!

★🎸🎧⋆｡ °⋆

I hated matt. I mean it. He always picked on me and made fun of me in school, at my house on the internet he blabbed in his ‘car videos’ about how stupid i am and blah blah blah.

Practically he was a pain in the ass. Maybe just stop talking to him? ignore him? well, I fucking can’t. I really like nick and chris, they never were mean to me or anything and if they did, it was at LEAST funny. Matt was just straight up mean.

“are you fucking kidding me matt?!” I come speed walking through the hallway. My eyes were fixated on matt and his stupid smirk. How could he do this to me! this is too far.

“matt are you an absolute child or are you just stupid and have no brains?!” I yell at him now standing right in front of him. He looks down at me with a smirk lingering onto his face. “what.” he absolutely knew why was I mad and I knew it, he just wanted to piss me off even more push me through my limits and further.

“you said to MY best friend that i fucked with her boyfriend?! how could you!“ I held back my tears as i realised he made my best friend hate me. the one and only friend i had before chris and nick.

She was with me since day one. AND that fucker had to ruin it. “i don’t think she is a real best friend if she believed me instead of you, that’s really fucked up you know?” he said with a small laugh. That laugh made me even more furious. “fuck you, don’t you dare talk to me, ever ever again.” I pushed my tears.

His pupils get bigger as if he was showing some sympathy or sum. I rolled my eyes and left their friend group alone. I didn’t have the energy to fight with him in front of his friends.

It’s afternoon and am sitting in our living room binge watching brooklyn 99 for the fourth time just trying to not think about matt and my best friend.

I didn’t really answer anyone or actually i didn’t even check my phone when i came home. I heard it ding some time to time but nothing i would care about. It’s not my best friend so i don’t give a flying fuck who texts me. I was mad at myself, mad at matt, mad at the whole world.

i was in the middle of the episode when i heard my doorbell ring. I wasn’t expecting anyone my parents were supposed to come later. I put on my bunny slippers and went to the door.

I slowly open the door just a little incase it was a killer or something like that. I peek through a small hole and see the one and only matt sturniolo on my front porch. I roll my eyes as am not in the mood to be fighting and getting laughed at. “what now matt? don’t you know when too much is too much?!” I say now with fully opened door. “i just wanna talk.” he kind of whispered. Was he scared and anxious? The Matt sturniolo being scared? “i don’t want to talk to you remember? I don’t want to talk to you Ever.” i answered now feeling angry. “please let me just talk, you just need to listen. Please.” he pleaded looking at me.

I rolled my eyes as i moved to the side so he could come inside. I leaded him to my living room automatically sitting down on the couch. He sat right next to me.

there was a few second silence. I didn’t want to speak but he wanted so here we are. “am sorry for the thing with your best friend. I know she meant a lot to you. But i can promise i can fix it and i will.” I didn’t believe one bit of his bullshit.

Maybe a bet? Is his friend recording it somewhere? I looked straight into his blue eyes. “I don’t believe you one bit. First of all you come here randomly, just to say sorry for something you did and thinking i’ll be fine? Second why would you now apologise you did so many things why this one. I call bullshit.” I answered speaking the truth. “Look, it’s true i just felt bad after i did it. I took it too far and i realised it, so i came and apologised. Simple.”

i rolled my eyes still not believing one bit of this play. “what can i do for you to believe me?” he asked me waiting for an answer. the truth was there was nothing in this god damn world that would make me believe him. So let see if he is so ‘real’ and means this whole conversation well.

“kiss me.” I reply smirking as i knew he would never put up with the play if he was supposed to kiss me. I wasn’t even his type. I smiled from ear to ear knowing I won this game. He sighed as he looked into my eyes, he looked for a clue or a hint if i meant it or if i played with him.

I closed my eyes as I laughed to myself feeling the victory and a good feeling come back to me.

Until I felt cold lips on mine. I opened my eyes as my pupils went huge. Was Matthew Bernard fucking sturniolo kissing me, his greatest enemy?

So why didn’t he pull away right after? Why didn’t I pull away after the first second i felt his lips on mine? The right question is why did I like it?

I felt butterflies in my stomach swirling around. I kiss him for a second until i pull away.

He looked at me with a smirk crawling onto his face. “you meant it?” I asked him. He nodded his head slightly feeling the embarrassment come to him.

i picked up his chin and melted to the kiss once again. It felt right. This moment felt right.

“God how i wish i hated you”

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #ariana #ariana grande #matthew sturniolo #matthew bernard sturniolo #enemies to lovers #kiss of life

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11queensupreme11 · 11 months ago

Note

Hey~

I got another AU for ya!

Except this one started off as a quick thought made out of sheer angst so I needed to think about an AU for it to help me sleep at 2 am. (And this one will probably be just as long as the “No Curses” AU one so I’m just warning you in advance that I’ll be breaking my record for the longest ask you’ve ever read💀)

I HATE but LOVE the way Sukuna and Shisui’s past together has so many bumps and conflicts in the way SO LEMME ADD SOME MORE.

After more than five days of thinking how this would all plan out, here it is.

“What if Sukuna had come on time to save Shisui from Junichiro?”

So it goes a little something like this:

Sukuna comes in time to see Shisui crawling towards the river while having her legs mangled.

The sight was so gruesome and horrifying that it just made Sukuna snap in rage and once Junichiro gets down to catch up to Shisui, Sukuna proceeds to instantly eat Junichiro’s head alive right in front of her. The unexpected attack (aka killing) would leave Junichiro defenceless since he wouldn’t have expected Sukuna to have arrived so suddenly, which resulted in his death but not before he put a curse on Shisui as his last words when he was coming down to get her. (“Don’t you dare go! I’ll find you wherever you are!”)

Sukuna then pulls Shisui away from the edge of the river and heals her legs with reversed cursed energy. But no matter how much her physical state is now perfectly healed, Shisui pretty much got mentally scarred for life by everything that just happened.

Sukuna just holds her in his arms while they’re sitting on the ground together for a few hours so she can register it all. Even after hours passing by, she still looks completely scarred and can’t talk.

He brings her back to the Uchiumi clan, Sukuna explains the situation to her family and he then brings her up to her room. It was still around morning (close to noon) but Sukuna and Shisui didn’t bother going outside for the day anymore. Sukuna left Shisui’s room after tucking her in and overheard the family bickering and freaking out over the recent events that transpired just this morning (he only told them that Shisui broke the engagement which resulted in her almost dying because of Junichiro but he saved her on time by killing him. He didn’t tell them that he ate his head though). He couldn’t bother hearing them anymore because there were always problems getting thrown at him and Shisui anyway so why bother paying attention any longer?

He goes back to Shisui’s room and stays there with her, wordlessly “consoling” her by getting in her futon and tightly holding her in his arms. He told himself that starting from now on, he was going to be selfish and do what he wanted to do. Nothing will get in his way any longer.

He was this close to letting Junichiro ruin everything for him but he won’t make the same mistake twice. He’ll do and have what he wants no matter what. There won’t be any mercy anymore, only pain and suffering for anyone who dares to ruin his pleasures. He’ll be cocky about it too.

Sukuna can’t help but chuckle cruelly at his plans while having an emotionally vulnerable Shisui in his arms.

After a while of snuggling, he proposes (says) to Shisui to run away from this place, from everything here, everything they have ever known to find greater things elsewhere. Shisui takes a moment to stare at him in tears and thinks about it. She just can’t take anyone’s bullshit anymore.

Her father’s constant remarks and mistreatment towards Sukuna, her mother and the other wives just standing there not doing anything, the majority of her bothers just act like her father, Junichiro who had lied to her this whole time and tried pushing Sukuna away from her, jujutsu society rejecting her only real friend from becoming a sorcerer, and the peasants who keep on trying to hurt Sukuna. Why does everything and everyone have to hurt her and who she likes? She agrees to his “proposition” while quietly sobbing.

The day passes by but Sukuna and Shisui are secretly preparing what they need so that they can leave. Sukuna threatens the servants, who were tasked by Shisui to help them, in case they run to Suiten to tell on them.

Eventually, night falls.

Sukuna and Shisui make sure everyone is asleep (or at least check on them to see if they’re busy) in their private rooms before they make their escape by getting into the cart led by a horse which was filled with provisions and clothes.

They successfully make their departure, leaving everything behind them, their past and their once-called home.

Sukuna was the one driving the cart. He had Shisui next to him staring at nothing in particular while the horse was driving them away from it all.

Sukuna didn’t have any idea where they should be going but he just knew that as long as he and Shisui were together, he was more than satisfied.

He knew that the Uchiumi clan was bound to realize that Shisui disappeared with Sukuna and would stop at nothing to get her back. This was also a good excuse to keep on travelling and never stopping but it was more of a minor reason since Sukuna wasn’t the least bit afraid of them.

From the days that were passing by, they kept stopping by some fields and near rivers to rest.

Shisui was completely dazed out for most of the time. The only real reaction she’d feel was extreme fear if she was ever too far from Sukuna (which would be more than 20 feet away from him).

He loves how her attention is all over him now.

Since it was thanks to him that she was still alive, she felt like she owed him a lot, not to mention that he was also right about Junichiro. She knows she should be afraid of Sukuna after what he had done to Junichiro but she doesn’t care at this point. She was just grateful for being alive and it was all thanks to Sukuna.

Sukuna would take care of her and himself throughout the day. He’d protect her from curses and sorcerers alike, feed her, brush her hair, bathe her and himself (he’d usually stay in the hot springs or small rivers for a longer time with her since he needs to “scrub” her skin harder just in case “he misses some spots”), help her wear fresher clothes, and held her tightly close to him when they’d be sleeping.

Sukuna was just living his life right now. He’s got to admit that what happened to Shisui was the best thing that has ever happened to him. For once, his life was going HIS way and his way only. He was finally away from that forsaken village he used to call home, and he now had Shisui all to himself and her attention and time was finally all on him.

Sukuna didn’t have a location in mind, he just brought Shisui along on an endless journey. They wouldn’t be missing or be out of any essentials since Sukuna would be the one hunting for meat while Shisui would be the one taking care of collecting herbs while making sure Sukuna was close enough to her. Shisui would also be responsible for fixing up their clothes in case they had some stitches or holes in them.

Every time Sukuna hunts however, he always comes back with a lot of dead animals to put in the cart.

The first time he hunted for food and came back, a memory flashed in Shisui’s mind about the time Sukuna ate raw meat when they were kids. She also remembered that he was about to tell her about it back when they were near the river that one time Sukuna nearly got attacked by all the men in the village. But Shisui was far from caring how he ate as long as he was near her and Sukuna took advantage of that. He’d casually eat raw meat right in front of her while she ate it cooked and not even once did she bat an eye at how he ate the food.

Some months passed and Sukuna was content with everything in his life. He had freedom, he terrorized the people that he and Shisui were coming across, he ate whatever animal he hunted raw, and Shisui had all of her attention on him.

She was also very attentive and listened to Sukuna’s every word by making sure she was avoiding anyone else who wasn’t him, and keeping an eye out if some sorcerers were coming their way.

She was so obedient that she even willingly (and unquestionably) engaged in sexual acts with him (which was all the time 💀).

At some point however, Sukuna and Shisui meet a curse user by the name of Uraume. Sukuna was about to fight them, feeling like he’ll have some fun but Uraume quickly tells him that they didn’t come to fight and instead, want to serve him. Sukuna doesn’t know what they could possibly give him but Uraume proposes to serve him by cooking for him. They show him their skills and Sukuna takes a bite which is how they instantly got accepted by Sukuna.

Now, Sukuna and Shisui have a new member added to the group: Uraume.

This means that from now on, Uraume will be the one to take care of cooking as well as taking care of Sukuna and Shisui, meaning that Sukuna will just be hunting for food but won’t be cooking it since he’ll give that responsibility to Uraume.

Shisui pretty much tries to get along with Uraume but they mainly only ever interact with her if they have to since they’ve decided to specifically serve Sukuna. Because of the favoritism on Uraume’s part, Shisui couldn’t help but be jealous of the fact that Uraume wants to be by Sukuna’s side (not in THAT way ofc but it still doesn’t change the fact that they want to serve him because they idolize him).

Sukuna just chuckles at Shisui’s behaviour but doesn’t try to change anything.

He’s actually perfectly fine about Uraume’s fixation on him because he won’t have to kill them if they also fixate a lot on Shisui. As long as Uraume only takes care of him and Shisui when they have to, then the white-haired curse user will be fine. It’d be a real shame if he killed his chef after all.

After a year or so of travelling, Sukuna just decides to settle down in an abandoned grand shrine and orders Uraume to clean the whole place up. Shisui, on the other hand, will (obviously) tag along with Sukuna and he’ll walk around the whole place with her to see how the surroundings look.

Since he’s practically done everything he’s wanted while travelling, Sukuna will want to want more without Shisui’s presence for once. While she is sleeping, Sukuna heads to a village and destroys the whole place (devours humans, burns houses, and kills sorcerers and peasants alike). Sukuna has gone far longer in his destruction than normal and enjoyed every second of it that his body finally grew to its real and true form. After making sure nothing remained in the village, Sukuna went back to the shrine and waited until morning.

The sunrise eventually came and woke Shisui up from her slumber.

But when she noticed that Sukuna, who was simply watching her next to her, looked like he had grown two more eyes and arms overnight. Her mind had to process if what she was seeing was actually real. When she realized that she wasn’t dreaming, she immediately got up and seriously panicked, wanting to help him in any way she could and asking him every question in the book.

(“Sukuna, is that really you?!?!”, “H-How did you grow all these parts overnight?!!?”, “WHAT happened?!??”, “WHY ARE YOU SO HUGE?????” *Sukuna liked that last question more than he should*).

The old him wouldn’t have told her what happened but Sukuna didn’t give a shit anymore so he instead just boastfully told her of all his achievements. Shisui just stands there listening to him as he never stops talking but when he finally does (which would be after a long hour), Shisui just silently stares at him with a bewildered look before she rushes outside and vomits.

Shisui’s head is dizzy from the puking but also because she had finally fully processed the loads of information she just heard from Sukuna.

It felt like her entire world has once again shifted completely on its feet.

All the times she had ignored his way of eating during their trips finally dawned on Shisui that she should’ve had thought more about it. After all this time that she had known Sukuna, Shisui finally started considering the possibility of his hunger for flesh. Was he genuinely a curse? He looked like one when she woke up….Or maybe he was something else?

Sukuna’s just amused by all of this really.

Shisui doesn’t know how to act around him anymore and the more she stays with him, the more hellish things she’ll get to see when she’s with him.

Sukuna burns, destroys everything in his path, and eats villagers and sorcerers alike. What’s worse in all of this is that Shisui also gets to have the front row seat for all of it.

Honestly, she would have been far better off dead by Junichiro than staying alive and be with Sukuna. That was not the outcome she expected to happen at all.

The cycle of chaos and massacre was now such a reoccurring thing and a common factor in Shisui’s life that she just couldn’t take it anymore. Her tormentor was long gone by her dearest friend and now that same friend that she loved and respected her whole life was now the one causing her suffering whether he knew it or not. This has caused her to stop wanting to have him near her for any specific things/reasons but she never willingly told him her thoughts so she just tried to suck it up and let him near her.

At some point, she was on the brink of snapping.

He had just came back with loads of corpses from a village that was nearby the shrine again and that’s when she couldn’t take it anymore.

She willingly lost her life after that.

At night, when Sukuna wasn’t near her and had to be elsewhere, she took her own life while making sure Uraume wasn’t checking up on her every now and then.

When Sukuna came back and faced her corpse, he felt unimaginable immense pain, something he didn’t think he’d be able to feel again ever since he ascended. He unknowingly cursed her ("You can't leave me... I won't allow it!") and that’s how the cycle began.

Mizuhime meets Sukuna in the present time and the rest is history.

oh this is JUICY

i especially love how the worst day of shisui's life (jun trying to kill her) literally became the best day of SUKUNA'S life. like that is just so telling about what kind of person he is and just how selfish and fucked up he is.

yeah he was scared and worried for her, but the second her life was saved, that worry quickly turned into selfish glee cuz he finally got what HE wanted despite the price being shisui's mental state 💀

(you really really nailed sukuna's self-centered nature here btw 💖)

things would totally be different when they reunite compared to what happened in tsunami. in tsunami, sukuna was more worried about losing mizuhime to gojo again, but in this au he never lost her so he'd be less concerned about keeping her safe and more concerned with OWNING HER again. he'd probably be less soft at first because she killed herself as shisui and he's smart enough to know that she did it to get away from him 💀💀

#👸🏻| asks #👸🏻| tsunami

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