#and i am a sucker for the 'guy falls hard for girl

[maliciouslove]

logging in to tell everyone to go watch A Sign of Affection and The Apothecary Diaries

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

oooh I have an idea for a modern!jace fic. I am a sucker for academic rivals to lovers so something like that. maybe reader finds out that jace is struggling (I thought a foreign language class since he struggled with valerian) or the teacher makes reader tutor Jace. I hope that made sense!

thank you xoxo

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—

You despised above everything anyone who was from a sports team. They were loud, entitled, arrogant, and made college all about them. You had a special hatred for that one guy from the football team who was banging at your dorm door at 11pm on a Thursday, thinking he was at his ex-girlfriend's dorm. 

But when Mr. Perron had asked you to tutor the center player of the hockey team in exchange for extra credits, you couldn’t refuse. 

You thought it would be easy and that he would take your tutoring seriously — his place in the hockey team was on the line —, but Jacaerys Velaryon was a pain in your ass. He had difficulty concentrating after twenty minutes and kept arguing over the spelling of words. 

‘’You can’t pronounce it like that,’’ you said for the third time since you sat at a table in the tutoring center. 

‘’Why not? It’s written that way,’’ Jace argued back, pointing to the word in the textbook.

‘’Because that’s not how you pronounce ‘croissant‘! I don’t make the rules.’’ You held back an exhausted sigh, your patience wearing thin. ‘’If you go to Paris and say it like that, they’re gonna laugh at you.’’ 

‘’They’re gonna be too distracted by my charming smile to hear my wrong pronunciation.’’ He flashed his signature smile at you, the one that made most people swoon, but you shook your head, refusing to engage in anything other than what you were there for.

‘’Unfortunately for you, your charm will not work on Mr. Perron,’’ you said, making his smile disappear. ‘’And it definitely won’t work on the exam.’’

Forty-five minutes later, Jace still couldn’t seem to get the translations right. You felt like he wasn’t even trying, but he actually was. French was just not sticking. 

‘’Look, I’m here to help you, but if you want to waste my time—’’

Panic set inside Jace. ‘’No. I really need your help,’’ he insisted, his eyes wide with desperation. ‘’I swear I’m trying. If I don’t pass, I’m gonna get kicked off the team. There’s five games left, and we are so close to the play-offs. Please, don’t let me fail.’’ He looked at you intently, almost like a puppy dog begging for a treat.  

You stayed at the tutoring center for another hour. There was a slight improvement, but Jace would need a lot more hours of tutoring to pass his exam. 

So, that’s what you did. Everyday at 7pm, he would meet you at the tutoring center and bring snacks from the campus café, claiming studying on an empty stomach was proven less effective by studies. You hated how he made crumbs on the table and how casually flirty he was, but his charming smile was growing on you and making you less indifferent by the day, much to your annoyance. 

You quickly shook those growing feelings out of your heart, refusing to fall for a hockey player. He already had a ton of girls at his feet. The chances he would reciprocate those growing feelings were too slim to even consider.

‘’Thanks for helping me. It means a lot to me,’’ Jace said on your last tutoring session. ‘’I’ve improved a lot this week, and I would not have been able to get this far without you.’’

During your time together, you got to know him a little and no longer saw him as just an entitled college athlete. He was sweet and thoughtful, and a true mama’s boy. You tried so hard to cover your fondness when he answered his mother’s call during a session. He even had a cute picture of his family as his lockscreen. 

You gathered your stuff, putting everything into your backpack. ‘’Can I ask you something? Why did you take French if you struggle with foreign language?’’ 

Jace groaned, embarrassment filling his body. ‘’Because it seemed easy…and girls like it when a guy speaks French,’’ he admitted, his cheeks pink as he covered his face with his hand. 

‘’Watch them all fall for you when you pronounce ‘croissant’ correctly.’’ 

A small laugh left his lips, amused by your teasing. 

The sound of his laugh made your heart flutter, but you played it off by facing the other way.  He couldn’t know that his charm was getting to you.

‘’There’s one week left until your exam. You gotta keep studying if you want to pass,’’ you said to him. ‘’No relenting.’’

You slung your bag over your shoulder and walked to the door, preparing to exit, but Jace called your name.

‘’What do I get if I pass?’’ 

His voice made you slowly turn around to look at him. ‘’You get to stay on the hockey team?’’ 

Jace pulled back on his Wolves hoodie, making you daydream about wearing it and smelling his woody cologne and something that was just him. ‘’No. What else do I get? I need something to motivate me.’’ 

A smirk curled at the corner of your lips, the words leaving your mouth before you could stop them. ‘’If you get above 80%, I’ll suck your cock.’’

To you, it was a joke — just a joke —, but Jace never studied this hard before. He spent all his free time with his nose in his french textbook, and even brought it to the gym so he could study while running on the treadmill. His teammate made fun of him, but he didn’t care. The reward would be worth it.

On the day of the exam, he asked Mr. Perron if he could grade his exam immediately, needing to know if he could play tomorrow night. Jace waited impatiently as the man checked everything, nerves bubbling in his stomach. When Mr. Perron handed him his exam, he walked out and started looking for you.

He found you sitting in the quad, reading by yourself. He ran over to you, and shoved his exam in front of your face. At the top right corner was a bright red 81%. 

—

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[thewulf]

It's Everything || Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Summary: Request - Hello:) hope you're well and having a good week:) I was wondering if i could get a Jake Seresin x reader where they're friends but they both feel something more. Jake always teases her cause he likes to see her blush... Read Rest Here

A/N: This just felt like a 3x1 so it is! The three times Jake was sweet on you and the one time he had to do something about it. I really like this one :)

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Y/N

Word Count: 4.8k +

TW: Talks of assault, men being men, blood

The Hard Deck

“There she is.” Jake’s overly pretty face broke out into a smile seeing you walk up to the group looking more than exasperated. How could you not though? The entire dagger squad was. You guys were more than exhausted. Yet here you were. Drinking beer on a Tuesday night, “Worried you weren’t going to make it out tonight darlin’.” He shot you a wink as you sat across from him taking some airmen’s spot.

You couldn’t help but to smile at the sweet boy who’d captured your heart without a second thought, “I wasn’t going to.” You hummed grabbing for his beer knowing he’d let you take a drink before getting one for yourself.

His eyes raised in curiosity as he drunk you in. Even tired you were prettier than you knew. He couldn’t believe some lucky guy hadn’t caught your attention yet. He was only bidding his time. He didn’t really want to make a serious move until after the mission. He could make it another few weeks, maybe.

“What brought you here then pretty girl? My handsome face?” Shameless. He was diabolically shameless. Leaning forward you caught the slight tilt of his head as he watched you. He always seemed to have an eye on you.

And damn your genetics for giving you the rosiest cheeks that only seemed to darken when you talked with him. You caught the snicker of his longtime military buddy, Payback. He patted Jake’s back before walking off knowing that as soon as you walked in all of Jake’s attention was only going towards once place, you. He was an absolute damn sucker for you, and he’d only known you for a little over two weeks.

It started with a smart-ass comment back to Rooster that caught his attention the first day in class. You fully grabbed it when you became the first pilot to actually take down Maverick, even before he did. He knew he had to get to know you when you put him in his place after he knowingly screwing you over in the air. But damn, did it feel good to be getting some attention from you. Even if you were yelling with all your might.

“Something like that.” You mumbled out knowing there wasn’t a use in lying to the man you’d too hopelessly fallen for. He’d figure it out one way or another, he always seemed to. It didn’t help you weren’t the best liar either.

He grinned all too thrilled with your admission, “Hmm, is that so? You came out of the house for me?”

Rolling your eyes you took another sip of his beer, “Well, you invited me. And I said I’d come. So, here I am.” Trying to play it off as coy as possible giving him a bashful smile in the process.

“Since you’re here then, can I get you beer sweetheart?” He played along with you

Nodding your head, you finally relaxed back into your seat, “I wouldn’t stop you.”

He shook his head stifling the laugh that came out. He knew how he acted around you and he tried his hardest to not act like a middle school girl with the biggest crush but you… you brought out a giddiness he never knew could come from relationships. After his college girlfriend shattered his heart he swore off relationships altogether. Afterall, he wasn’t a relationship kind of guy. But then you walked into his life. You seemed to challenge his harder than anybody had before but did it in such a way that he wanted to be better. You kept him on his toes, in the best way of course. He was falling faster and faster day in and day out. And he didn’t know how to stop it. He didn’t think he wanted to stop it.

Before walking away, he gave your hand a gentle squeeze. Always taking a chance at giving you a soft touch. He simply craved it. He realized it after Rueben pointed out that he was always trying to sit next to you in class. He’d tried to avoid the topic of you, but Rueben knew. He knew Jake was into you, really into you. Jake made sure never to cross any boundaries with you, always asking before doing.

Jake set the light beer down in front of you before sitting in the seat across from you, “You did good today. Set the fastest time yet.” He spoke as his eyes roamed your face.

You sighed. You did set the fastest time. Just over two and a half minutes. But it still wasn’t good enough. And you didn’t really think you had much more to give, “Not good enough.”

He bit back the frown that wanted to come through, “Cut yourself some slack.”

You finally made eye contact with him again. Just that damn gaze could set your cheeks on fire. He had to know. You hadn’t admitted it out loud, but your face gave you dead away.

“Do you?” You asked him. You weren’t trying to be an ass but you this was you. Always challenging him.

He shook his head quickly letting the smile come through, “No.”

“See.” You took a long sip of beer hoping it’d hit you sooner than it probably would.

He set his glass down at this same time you did. Again, he leaned forward, “You know as well as me that you’ll be the first to get there in 2 minutes. Give yourself a week. You’ll figure it out.” He took your hand that lingering by your half drunken glass of beer. Giving it another gentle squeeze, you felt all the love from him in that moment. How in the hell was this the same man you’d heard so many stories about?

“Awfully confident in me Seresin.” Your eyes watched his thumb rub against your pointer finger hoping to give you an ounce of comfort.

“Come on darlin’. You’re the most confident pilot I know. You’ve got a reason to be too. Don’t get soft of me know.”

You scrunched your nose before shaking your head, “I’m not going soft. I just don’t know if it’s physically possible Jake. I’m beat. And I’m still fifteen fucking seconds off the mark.” You looked down in defeat. Damn that jet for always getting the better of you. Your favorite weapon that always seemed to hurt you too.

“Mav did it.” Jake laced his fingers in with yours wanting to feel

“Mav’s Mav.”

“And you’re you.” He shrugged your comment off like it was nothing. Jake was never for building people up. Especially not the people that he was competing against. But damn, you showed up out of nowhere and completely rocked his world. Changed his viewpoint.

Rolling your eyes, you avoided his gaze sure your face was already red as a summer ripe tomato, “Flirt.”

He hummed in agreement, “Yeah sure. But I think you like it.” He knew it was a risk. He might’ve been crossing a line you hadn’t set. His heart began to hammer in his chest as the anxiety of what he just said rang through his ears.

He caught your eyes as you looked up in surprise, “I do. That I do.”

Bob’s House

You walked through the front door of Bob’s house the next Sunday night wearing one of Jake’s old Cowboy’s jerseys that he swore wasn’t too big for you. Setting down the tray of cookies you picked up from the grocery store down you turned to Jake, “Alright, who are we rooting for?”

He grinned as he took the jacket of your hands with the intention of hanging it up for you, “We went through this in the car darlin’.”

“Don’t sound so disappointed Jake. You know I don’t watch football!” A quiet laugh escaped from your mouth

He shook his head while laughing with you, “The Cowboys. America’s team. Even got a star to prove it.” He smiled with achievement pointing to the star on his chest.

Bob walked in hearing the tail end of the conversation, “Don’t listen to him Y/N. Can’t believe you made her wear that.” He pointed to your jersey, “She should be wearing a cheese head. Packer green.”

“That’s not right Bob.” Jake shook his head quickly.

“Oh boy.” You laughed at the both of them giving the other a stare down, “You guys take this seriously then?”

Jake smiled at your cluelessness to it all. It amazed him that somebody so in the trenches with all these men would be so clueless to the NFL. The thing that consumed eighteen weeks of all the guys lives ever year.

“It’s a good escape.” Bob spoke up before heading out of the kitchen, “Come on. The loveseat is saved for you guys.”

Jake laughed at your brightening face. He’d found it so endearing about you. No matter how hard you seemed to try it never stopped the cute little blush that came upon your face when somebody mentioned the both of you together. Jake loved showing off the growing relationship between the two of you. You were much shyer about it than he was. Not ashamed, no never. Just shy as all get out.

Jake held his hand out for you to take. He noticed the slight hesitation as your fingers laced together with his. Your mind never let you enjoy the small things as it started reeling from what all your dagger squad members could think. In reality they knew the two of you had a thing for the other. Jake was rather obvious about it. Nat even cornered you at one point in the week demanding answers which you really couldn’t give. You didn’t have a clue what to label it. You did admit you had feelings for him to her.

Your worst fears didn’t come to life as nobody even really noticed the two of you joining the watch party. You took a seat at the open loveseat leaving Jake more than enough room.

Waiting for you to get comfortable he slid into the seat right next to you before snaking his arm behind your head letting you know it would be more than fine to cuddle on up to him if you wished. He knew you were hesitant about the entire thing. He wasn’t dumb. He didn’t want to scare you off before he even had a chance. He’d take it slow and strategic. However he needed to.

“Here.” He grabbed the blanket on the headrest and threw it over mostly you, with a little bit covering half of him, “I know how cold you get.” He waited and was more than happy to see his favorite blush coat your cheeks.

“Nothing gets past you, does it Jake?” You turned to him scooting just a bit closer, letting your leg brush against his.

He nodded, “Nothing you do does sweetheart.” He shot you a wink knowing just how mad it’d drive you. He found utter enjoyment in seeing you react to his advances. He knew if he was doing the right thing or not. You were so much gentler than any of the other girls he usually went for. A fucking menace in the skies and a levelheaded pilot on the ground. He knew he’d never grow tired of getting to know you and your quirks. He just knew he’d grow to love every single one of them. Trouble didn’t begin to describe this situation.

Slowly over the course of the game, you sunk closer and closer to Jake. You cheered when he did and booed the same. Watching more of Jake than the game. It wasn’t lost on him. He caught your glances a few times. He tried not to look because it spooked you. It would take a while again before he saw you out of the corner of his eye watching him again. He liked when you looked at him. He wanted to know what you were thinking. Dying to know really.

He grabbed at your hand just after halftime, underneath the blanket for your sake. He liked it when you were relaxed and at ease. He really just liked you. Wanting you to be happy was all.

Near the end of the game, he gave your shoulder a squeeze garnering your attention to him. He smiled as his eyes landed on yours, “Yeah Jake?” You whispered trying not to have any watching eyes on the two of you.

“I haven’t told you how pretty you look tonight.” He whispered in your ear for discretion.

It’s like he was trying to kill you right then and there. God, you adored the man far more than you should, “Thanks Jake.” You turned your head towards his catching his intense gaze once more.

“Anytime beautiful.” He shot you a wink before draping his arm around your shoulder once more. He pulled you into his side a touch more. He watched as you finally got comfortable enough to lay you head on his side. You were tired after all. It was close to eleven on a Sunday night.

“You’re so sweet too me.” You whispered just loud enough for him to hear. Of course the two of you would be having this kind of conversation within earshot of half your class.

He shook his head, “I disagree. Not sweet enough. Just you wait darlin’.”

You looked at him curiously, “For what?”

“You’ll see. Gotta impress you and all that. For when I ask you to be my girlfriend.” Jake was pushing the boundaries and he loved seeing your face light up

“Really?”

“Really, really.  We just gotta get through the mission first. Can’t give you any distractions.” And Jake was serious. He couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt at his expense or vice versa.

You nodded your head quickly before diverting your eyes away from him. Damn. He really did like you. It might not be too good to be true.

“Alright.” You breathed out.

He smiled giving your shoulder one last comforting squeeze, “Just you wait.”

Before A Training Exercise

“Rooster, Hangman. You two are up first today. Winner picks punishment.” Mav spoke knowing exactly what he was doing by pairing the two men. The manual shut with a thud dismissing the class to get changed. Mornings were meant for class and the afternoons were jet time.

You turned to Jake sitting next to you giving him a quick once over. Trying your best to hide the look of concern on your face you turned away quickly. Instead of saying anything you opted to pack up your bag. Why’d you have to make things so awkward suddenly? Why’d you have to go liking him? It was easy the first week when your heart was clueless to the fact you’d fall in love with the man. Now you acted all weird around him all the sudden. It’s like your brain forgot how to communicate with him.

“What’s wrong?” He asked quietly next to you, leaning closer so nobody would hear. Nobody would hear though because almost everybody was gone. Just the two of you and a few stragglers near the door remained in the classroom.

You shook him off trying your best to play it off as nonchalantly as possible, “Nothing’s wrong.”

Giving you a rather dramatic frown, he put a gentle hand on your shoulder, so you’d stop being so distracted with your bag and focus back on him. Again, Jake wasn’t stupid. He began noticing the small tweaks in the way you acted. The way you began to close off to his advances. Like you were suddenly so nervous around him. He had a sneaking suspicion as too why, but he didn’t want to presume. He needed to knock down those walls you’d been slowly building back up. Lucky for you, Jake was up for the challenge. He was convinced he’d do damn near anything for you.

Once your eyes finally landed on his he spoke up, “Y/N… come on. I know you better than that.”

Your heart rate rapidly picked up with that damn look he was giving you. So soft and sweet. A look he’d never be caught giving on base if he wasn’t absolutely sure all the guys were gone. A look seemingly only reserved for you and only you.

“Just, be careful out there, alright?” You asked, nearly begged him.

A small smile rose from the face full of concern, “You worried about me sweetheart?” That sweet smile turned into a teasing smirk knowing that’d get your face to heat up.

And it sure did, “Shut up Jake.”

He laughed while pulling your chair closer to his, “You don’t need to be worried about me darlin’. It’s just Rooster.”

“Just Rooster?” You laughed this time, “Jake you two nearly collided playing a game of chicken last time you were up in the air.

After a few moments of silence, he spoke up once more, “I’ll admit, that was dumb. Cyclone made that very clear to us. That won’t happen again, promise.” He smiled over to you trying to reassure your worries. He found it quite endearing just how worried you seemed to be. Jake was naturally observant, especially when it came to the people he loved. You were certainly at the top of his list. So, he noticed a lot about you. How you couldn’t seem to keep your hands still. How you wouldn’t meet his eyes no matter how hard he tried. The slight flush of your cheeks and the way you bit your lips together. You were concerned for him.

You sighed deciding it was better to just let it out. Might as well. He made it very clear to you how he felt. Now, it was your turn, “You fly as if nobody cares for you Jake. Like you don’t care if you crash. God, Jake I don’t think I’d be able to get back in a jet if I ever saw you go down. I just… I worry about you. A lot.”

He grabbed at your hand giving it a squeeze, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. I do care though. You know that to be the best you have to make some calculated risks…”

Your sigh stopped him in his tracks. Slowly, you turned your head towards him. When your eyes met his it hit him how much this had been affecting you.

“Is it worth it?” You paused waiting for him to say something. When he didn’t you continued on with your thoughts, “One of these calculated risks could fucking kill you Jake. You know what happened to Roosters dad. Accidents happen Jake.”

He nodded quickly before pulling you into his chest, “If I’m honest with you. Yes, it was worth it. Before you came along. You’re making a lot of choices difficult darlin’.” He laughed nervously not expecting this conversation in the slightest. Jake was always cool, calm, and collected. He was always prepared. You threw him for a loop though. Made him all sorts of nervous.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled feeling somewhat… ashamed? By the conversation going on between the two of you. Talking about these kinds of things felt so foreign to you. Guys never really truly paid you much attention so kindly before. Sure, you’ve had a boyfriend or two. But they always turned out to be the scummy men you should’ve known better of getting involved with. But damn, all you wanted was some love. You had a lot of it to give.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s a good thing.” He grinned while taking your chin in his hand turning your head slowly towards him, “It’s a very good thing pretty girl.”

And damn, the look in his eyes was giving you love. So much love in the way he looked at you. It’s exactly what you wanted. Who would’ve thought one of these asshole pilots would have actually captured your heart so effortlessly? But Jake, Jake was different.

The Concert

Nat invited a few of you out to the local concert venue for a small show for a band she loved. You agreed to go just in spirit of making Nat happy. She’d become one of your closest friends and confidants over the last few weeks. Pushing yourself beyond the limits you thought possible day in and day out really bonded people together. You’d long since forgotten the competition amongst the group.

Jake wasn’t going to go until Natasha name dropped you in the conversation. It made her laugh how quickly his tune changed once he realized you were going. Any excuse he could make to be near you he would. How you couldn’t see that so clearly was beyond Nat’s understanding. It made her sick how idiotic the two of you were being. She knew Jake was planning to ask you out after the mission, she just thought it was dumb he was waiting for so long. She thought you’d be more distracted by him waiting. But it wasn’t her fight to pick. So, she stayed as quiet as Nat could.

She grabbed your hand leading you out to where some people gathered to dance knowing you wouldn’t object like all her fellow airmen would.

“You know he’s obsessed with you right?” Your eyes rose in surprise at her straightforwardness. Although, it shouldn’t have surprised you. It was Nat after all. She let you know her feelings.

“Who?”

Rolling her eyes, she found a good spot off to the side where the two of you could chat and dance without much interruption, “Seresin. Don’t play dumb with me Y/L/N.”

“I know he likes me. I don’t think he’s obsessed with me though.” You looked down thankful for the darkly lit room hiding your surly on fire cheeks.

She threw her head back in laughter, “He’s watching you right now. He’s always watching to make sure you’re okay. You may not notice it but some of us do. Reuban has to snap him out of his daze half the time, he’s lost in thought watching you.”

Your grin couldn’t be contained. That made you far too happy to hear. Before you could reply though somebody bumped into you. Thankful your drink was almost gone or it would’ve spilled right into Natasha.

“Oh, sorry gorgeous. Didn’t see you there.” He shot you a wink which did not do it for you. He was much older than you.

“S’fine.” You turned back to Nat with wide eyes hoping the man would

He didn’t get the hint though, “Care for a dance?”

You shook your head quickly not turning back to him completely. Nat watched with an amused grin on her face. It wasn’t uncommon for either of you to get hit on. Two pretty girls surrounded by a bunch of men. That’s why you typically only went to places with the guys. You knew you’d always be safe should something arise.

“No, not really.” You shot back at him.

Nat’s eyes bounced back and forth between you and the creepy man and Jake suddenly much more alert. He noticed the change in your body stance, far more defensive. How your face looked annoyed even from across the room. He all but ran over to you when the man put his hand on your shoulder.

“Aw, come on gorgeous.”

You shook his hand off, “I said no.”

He rolled his eyes, seemingly accepting your answer. Jake sat back down seeing the man vanish into the crowd. He’d just have to keep a closer eye out on you, that was all. His eyes scanned the crowd, frowning when he found Nat but not you. She pointed towards the other side of the room where the bathrooms were. He sent her a quick nod before getting up and making his way over to them. Might as well escort you if he could.

When he got close to the single stall door though his blood ran cold when he heard your raised voice muffle a, “I said get off me.”

Jake didn’t hesitate to open the door, rip the man from your grasp and throw him against the wall before kicking him while he was down. You, completely surprised by the turn of events watched with wide eyes as Jake went in for a second kick to the stomach.

“Jake, let’s go.” You pleaded. Afraid he’d do something the both of you would regret later on.

He turned to you getting ready to argue back but when he saw your scared expression and fidgeting hands, “Alright, darlin’.” He took your hand and led you out of the venue quickly, not turning back to hear the commotion behind you when the next person went into the bathroom stall.

He only stopped once the both of you were in front of his truck, “Did he hurt you?” His eyes scanned you quickly stopping seeing the rips in your shirt and the blood dripping down one of your arms.

“No, I’m fine. I got him first. Punched him right in the nose before you jumped in. Thanks for that.” You gave him a soft

“You’re bleeding sweetheart.” He pointed to your arm with the fairly surface level cut.

Eyes looking down you frowned, “Oh.” Then you noticed the rips, “Damn, this was one of my favorite shirts.”

He laughed softly. Thankful you were seemingly fine. More annoyed by the rips than the cuts, “Come on, hop on in. Let’s get you home and cleaned up.”

“Home?” You were curious as to where he’d be taking you.

He nodded opening his truck door for you to hop in, “Back to mine? If that’s alright with you.”

You jumped up to his wish and grinned, “Yeah, that works.”

“Good, I could use the company anyway. That band sucked. Nat has the weirdest taste.”

You laughed as he shut your door and walked around to the driver’s side, sliding in much easier than you did.

“I didn’t think they were too bad.” You hummed leaning back into the seat letting the adrenaline of the last thirty minutes die down.

“Oh, they were awful. Speaking of which, mind texting the group? I’m sure they’re starting to get worried.”

You agreed sending a quick message from your phone to the small group that had gone out that Friday night. You grinned when Nat sent you a winky face back separately from the boys. The ride home was fairly quiet as you rode back in a comfortable silence. He helped you out and into his apartment which was way cuter than you were expecting. Of course, leave it to him to continuously surprise you.

“You sure you’re alright? You’re awfully quiet.” He asked you while he got the first aid kit from the kitchen. He had you sitting down on his couch a room away.

“Mhmm, I’m fine. Just tired.” You yawned, “You’re awfully quiet.”

“I’m just annoyed I didn’t get to you sooner. He hurt you.”

You smiled feeling the love radiating from him, “Didn’t even feel it, honestly.”

“Still, I’m sorry.” He frowned while wiping it clean with an alcohol wipe. You let out a soft hiss when it crossed the open wound, “Shit, sorry darlin’. Should’ve warned you.” His frowned deepened.

“Stop apologizing. Thank you Jake. You got there in plenty of time. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Honestly.” You brushed a soft hand across his cheek oh so thankful that he did intervene when he did.

This time he looked down and away feeling the blush on his cheeks. He wasn’t used to you being so forthcoming with him. Maybe, just maybe, he was rubbing off on you.

“It’s nothing.” He tried brushed it off.

But you wouldn’t take that for an answer, no. You took his chin in your hand feeling all kinds of bold as he looked back at you with the softest eyes. Your favorite look on him.

“Don’t say that Jake. It’s everything. You’re everything.” You wanted to kiss him, God you wanted to. But you’d respect his wishes and pull back.

But even he couldn’t respect his own wishes as he took your head in his hands murmuring a, “I’m going to kiss you now, if that’s alright.”

“That’s definitely alright.” You grinned with utter glee. Jake closed the distance letting your lips connect for the first of many, many kisses the two of you would share.

Jake Seresin/Top Gun: Permanent Taglist (Message me or comment below if you want to be added!): @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556 @buckylov3r @taygrls @ah-blossom @hardballoonlove @rosiahills22 @djs8891 @mamachasesmayhem

[ageingfangirl2]

I Take Care Of My Crew! Shanks x Reader SMUT!

You think you're alone, but your captain knows your dirty little secret and how can you refuse him, especially when all Shanks wants to do is take care of his crew. Shanks x Reader (Female) SMUT!

The Red Force had docked on another island to restock, and while the rest of the crew decided to enjoy the pleasures the taverns had to offer, you stayed on the ship to indulge in a little alone time with a purchase from a shop on the island. It was difficult being the only girl on the crew, and it wasn't helped that the guys took every opportunity to flex their bodies while treating you like a little sister since you were the youngest officer. Your last vibrator had died a couple of months ago and it wasn't until this island you could buy a new one.

You had built up respect from the crew, but if they found your toy there would be no end to the teasing. So you had to keep quiet when the ship was on the open sea, but tonight you could enjoy the sweet sensation of pleasuring yourself. After a relaxing bath, you slip into one of your nightgowns and light a candle on your dresser. This vibrator was different to the other one and the lady said this one would rock your world because one end was a bullet while the other end had a clit sucker.

You climb onto your bed lying on top of the sheets and start to play with your nipples through the gown which were hard because of the ship being naturally cold. You move your other hand to push up the hem of the gown feeling cold touch your intimate area making you shiver. You start to gently rub your folds, moving up to your clit which you circle slowly. You had enough mental material and imagination to quickly become aroused.

'Let's see what you can do,' you say teasingly, picking up the vibrator and bringing the bullet end down to your clit, 'let's start with old faithful.'

You probably should have played around with the settings beforehand because your whole body jolts at even the first setting, 'oh shit!' you moan.

You throw your head back and close your eyes, holding the toy on your clit allowing the pulsating vibes to go through your body to the very core.

'Mmm...yes...' you moan loudly, biting your lip as you scroll through the different settings.

Pleasure ripples across your lower half as your thighs buck, but you still hold firm, feeling tension build, a little ashamed at how quickly you were brought to orgasm.

'HELL YES...' you gasp, opening your eyes, taking note of your messy bedsheets from where your other hand had been clenching and your body writhing.

A sudden knock on your door scares you, and your thighs close around the toy instinctively forgetting to turn it off. No one should be back yet, it was too early.

'Hello, who is it?' you call out, quickly trying to get under the sheets to give the illusion of heading to bed.

'It's me, can I come in?' Shanks answers back, and you mentally curse yourself, Shanks didn't know how to keep a secret. Why the hell had he come back to check on you?

'Err...' you pause, your hands fidgeting under the sheets to stop the vibrator.

He opens the door and strolls in holding a box under his arm, he looks you over and frowns, 'a little early for bed isn't it?'

You hum, biting your lip, 'felt tired captain.'

He puts the box next to the candle on the dresser and smirks, 'Why are you squirming under the sheets?'

Shanks had no boundaries, as he pulled back the sheets revealing the vibrator you'd managed to turn off fall from between your thighs, 'you don't understand how hurt I am right now,' he pouts while still smirking.

'Excuse me, how are you hurt?' you question, quickly sitting up in bed after pulling your gown back down.

Shanks casually picks up the vibrator, 'I'm a good captain who takes care of his crew's needs. You had a need and didn't come to me.'

You stare at your captain dumbfounded, 'Err you'd tell the guys and they'd tease me, no offence when it comes to sex and secrets you can't keep your lips shut captain.'

Shanks nods in acknowledgement, 'Maybe, but I've known about your toys for the last year. Some nights I was curious about noises coming from your room, and despite being a good hider I found your vibrator during a search.'

You were shocked by his admission. He didn't sound disgusted, in fact, the way he was eyeing up the toy told you he might be curious. He was your main source of material, and even right now your pussy clenched at the fact he'd caught you.

You take a deep breath and decide to be bold, 'Do you want to try it on me captain?'

He raises an eyebrow and gulps as you pull your gown back up showing off your soaked pussy in all its glory, 'are you sure? I thought this was something girls did alone.'

You shake your head and lie back, your eyes not leaving his as you tempt him towards you with your hand, 'I have a need captain, aren't you going to take care of it?'

His smirk reaches his ears as his eyes darken and he licks his lips, 'I didn't know you were this horny, it's always the quiet ones.'

He picks up the box on the dresser and places it by you on the bed. You watch him take off his boots before he gets onto the bed with you. You relax, 'I can't have sex with anyone on the crew so this is the next best thing.'

Shanks turns on the sucker end of the vibrator and scrolls through the settings, 'do you have a crew member you think about the most?' he asks teasingly, stopping on a random setting.

You nod, 'I do captain.'

He brings the sucker down towards your clit nudging your legs further apart, 'do tell, I'm curious.'

You shiver in anticipation, 'he has red hair, scars across one eye, and don't get me started on his perfect chest.'

The toy touches your clit and you curse loudly as it sticks to you, 'FUCK!'

If the bullet got you, the way this attacked your clit with so much pressure was enough to blow your mind.

Shanks sits back on his heels admiration and lust on his face, 'I'm flattered you chose your captain, you're not too bad on the eyes yourself.'

You clench the sheets on either side of you as you come undone, 'Mmn...so...good...'

You notice Shanks pick up the box and hold it in front of him, 'I take care of my crew's needs. I got you something, I don't think you've owned one of these before.'

While writhing you manage to watch him take off the lid and pull out a toy that has caught your eye in the shop but had intimidated you. It was a vibrating dildo, 'that looks big,' you gasp.

Shanks runs his hand down the length of the dildo, 'I'll tell you the real thing is better, but if you've actually thought about my dick inside you then this is a good place to start, stretch you out properly.'

Your eyes widen, was he suggesting he was bigger than the dildo, that thought alone pulled another orgasm from you, 'then stretch me out, captain.'

You spread your legs as far as they'll go, your juices slick enough to coat the dildo without much prep. Shanks grunts as he runs the tip of the dildo up and down your folds, 'turn off the vibrator,' he orders, 'the only noise I want to hear is you imagining getting off on my dick fucking you.'

With shaky hands you turn off the vibrator and remove it from your now sensitive clit, 'I'm ready captain.'

Shanks pushes the tip against your entrance that throbs around it before engulfing it, 'good girl,' he praises.

He slides the whole length inside you, your body betraying you as it eagerly stretches around it without much pain or protest.

'Are you comfortable?' he asks.

You nod, 'Yes captain.'

Your body should have been prepared after the vibrator power but the second Shanks turns on the dildo you're overcome with a sensation you haven't experienced before, with a dildo penetrating you instead of using your fingers.

'So good...SHIT!' you curse, back arching.

Shanks chuckles darkly, 'Close your eyes and think of me.'

You comply closing your eyes, and moan sharply as he pushes it in and out of you at varying speeds. It had been a good month since you had sex so you were a little tight, but your walls hugged the dildo leaving you at the mercy of your captain who was grunting and praising you. He was clearly getting off himself at the scene the two of you found yourselves in.

You let your imagination go wild as pleasure consumes every inch of your body, 'going to cum...' you mumble, words coming out of your lips between gasps and moans.

'Cum for me, cum for your captain,' Shanks commands, his voice firm like he was casually shouting orders at the crew.

You buck your hips and release around the dildo, breathing heavily as Shanks allows you to ride your high. You open your eyes and sigh contently, 'Thank you, captain.'

Shanks removes the dildo and pulls down your gown, 'Get yourself cleaned up and straight to bed young lady.'

You sit up and motion towards his obvious bulge, 'What about your needs captain?'

Shanks grins, 'I have plenty of material, don't you worry your pretty head. But the dildo comes with me.'

You pout, 'why? I thought you got it for me.'

Shanks laughs as he gets up from the bed and picks up the dildo, 'If you want to use it you will do so in my presence, can't have you having too much fun on your own.'

Before you can argue, he bends down and kisses you softly on the forehead, this man was very confusing and always had ulterior motives. But he had rocked your world, so you'd let him off the hook for now, but you would get your hands on that dildo again.

[ellieslaces]

FADE INTO YOU.

featuring: rookie!leon x fem stars agent!reader

synopsis: a collection of headcannons in which rookie cop leon has a crush on the reader, who’s a s.t.a.r.s agent

content warnings: harsh language; allusions to smut; make-out sessions; flirty reader; mostly wholesome content; canon divergent

notes: i was inspired by @darling-i-read-it when i saw the post abt Leon having a crush on a STARS agent and oml i haven’t stopped thinking about it so here i am yet again

now playing: Fade Into You by Mazzy Star

• Leon had just started his position as a rookie cop at the Raccoon City PD and he’s always given the worst little tasks and assignments

• one day though - about four days into his first week - he passes the STARS office on his way with boxes to the storage room and almost drops them all

• he sees without a doubt the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen in the STARS office, laughing at something the guy beside her said

• he has to pull himself together and take the boxes to storage room, his little heart hammering so fast the whole time

• Leon finally being introduced to you and the rest of the STARS team the next week when he’s instructed to take some paperwork to the STARS office

• he fell in love immediately when you walked to him, smiling widely, and taking the papers while introducing yourself

• he can hardly keep himself together as you walk him around the STARS office and introduce each agent to him

• he falls even harder when you scold each one, telling them all to be nice to him because he’s new

• after that, Leon always finds himself gravitating toward you any chance he gets — in the copy room, the kitchen, the shooting range

• you thinking he took a liking to you because you were one of the only ones who didn’t give him a hard time and to be honest, you didn’t really mind. he was sweet and totally lovable

• Leon honestly found it so insane how you were an absolute menace around the station

• like you would go around the office and flirt with a few officers to get them to do a task for you that you really didn’t want to do in the first place

• of course it always worked and they were all suckers for you

• and if he thought you were a menace on a daily bases, oh he was so surprised at how bold you were at holiday parties

• you would dance to the music in the most inappropriate ways possible for a work party

• and for some reason, it made him like you even more

• he also loved how you’d wear headphones with a walkman on your belt, and sing along, and dance to the music while you made copies or just walked around the station

• his crush on you was so bad, like next level bad

• in fact, you didn’t pick up on his crush on you at all. it was Jill who did. she never said a word of course, but she could just tell

• Leon always felt a little jealousy when he saw you talking to another agent, like Chris

• he knew you were out of his league, but he couldn’t help the hot jealousy in his chest as he would watch you laugh at something Chris said

• of course, he didn’t know that you’d rejected Chris when you first started working there and he asked you out a few times

• oh but Jill does. she loves to tease him for it, always reminding him of how you brutally shot him down

• and the teasing quickly becomes a problem when Leon walks by the STARS office one day and overhears Jill’s teasing

• of course, all Leon’s lovesick little brain processes are the words Chris, crush, and your name

• he doesn’t talk to you for two weeks. he ignores your jokes, your teases, your playful flirting (which he never ignores)

• until you finally get it out of him two weeks later in the shooting range

• he stammers and tells you he overheard Jill talking about you and Chris, and he likes you but it’s okay because he knows you don’t feel the same way, and you and Chris would be good together

• and you almost break then “oh, Leon, i don’t like Chris. Jill just likes to tease him because i rejected him when i started working here”

• Leon is obviously stunned “oh, uh, you don’t? sorry, i shouldn’t have said all that now i feel bad and -”

• “no, Leon. don’t feel bad. i actually kinda like you too you know…” you smiled sheepishly — which is pretty rare for you to be nervous

• Leon’s eyes widening to an unnatural size as he grins “you do? really? i didn’t think you’d like me i’m just a rookie.”

• “whether you’re a rookie or a trained professional, i like you. you’re really sweet and i know you’d treat me really well.”

• after that, you two start dating

• which is so fucking weird because a lot of the guys in the station — STARS and non-STARS — have been hitting on you and Jill since like the dawn of time

• it’s a little tense for Leon for a little while because a few other guys are even resentful you fell for a rookie and not them

• but of course Leon won’t say a word to them, so when he’s not around you put them in their place and tell them to leave him alone or you’ll fuck them up

• they are all obviously a little scared so they listen and start being nice - or as nice to a rookie as possible- to him again

• Leon always being so nervous and worrisome when you go in assignment

• seriously, he’ll worry himself to a point where he can’t sleep and he’ll nod off at his desk during the day

• when you finally get back, he always tells you how much he missed you and how worried he was and how he never wants you to leave him again

• but of course you always go on assignments. it’s a cruel cycle really

• you realize you were right — Leon did treat you so well. like a fucking princess honestly

• you believe you were so lucky that day when the lieutenant forced him to take paper work up to the STARS office

• Leon being literally the sweetest and best boyfriend you ever had and always making sure you’re okay and happy and safe

• but how could you not be happy? Leon is literally perfect to you and you couldn’t be happier with anyone else

how you can support Palestine! 🇵🇸

[justcallmesakira]

Omgomgomgomg Sakira for your Valentines event, can I request Angst prompt 11 (''Soulless roses purge from my mouth, with your lips on another womans one'') for reader and Dazai please? I'm a sucker for unrequited love owueuaisha but please take your time with this request! 💖

"Soulless roses purge from my mouth, with your lips om another womans one"

Prompt 11

Sypnosis: Really, hanahaki symptoms for a man who flirts with every single woman? How pathetic and foolish can you be?...

Genre: full angst

Dazai x reader

Warnings: vomiting obv since its hanahaki disease, no comfort(?), implied jealousy, suicide, slight implication to "No longer human", happy ending!!! :D

A/N: Tysm silver for requesting!! i tried my best to finish it in time but i am very sick rn so---i decided to give a happy ending since i was feeling merciful today :33

»~⋆ Hanahaki Syndrome˚⋆« -Shiki Miyoshino 𝟎:𝟑𝟒 〇────── 𝟎:𝟓𝟖 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻ ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

You loved him, alot actually.

But was he yours to begin with? Did you really believe he could be yours?

Dazai was sort of a playboy you knew. Everyone in the agency warned you about his tactics and charms.

"Dont worry, kunikida-kun! i am not going to fall in love with dazai, hes just a collegue at the end of the day!" You replied to kunikida when he warned you about the bandaged man. "Still, y/n I know you probably wont even get in contact with that guy, but i will just remind you of that womanaizer" Kunikida said with a serious tone, he was not very angry or anything but simple putting out care for you.

But did you listen? Because those petals say otherwise.

You entered the cafe downstairs with a beaming smile. You made Dazai a bento box today, if anything you even used various food items to draw out Dazai`s pretty face over the rice.

“Ah Bella!!! I can’t believe it, you should totally come to my apartment tonight”

You were expecting the same waitress he would flirt with everyday but to your surprise when your eyes met the couple sitting on one of the tables, you were shocked.

A woman, perhaps a bit older than the man flirting himself, pretty amber eyes and shiny long black hair.

You couldn’t decide whether you should go up to dazai and give him the gift you worked hard on or just leave them be. You hated it when he flirted with other women..a bit too much.

it hurts you, really it did to see him with someone other than you. Were you not worthy of him? Were you just an another girl who was the bandaged man’s doll to toy around with? Were those moments when he excitedly held your hands just a lie? Were those missions you protected him with your life just for the agency..?

Was coughing out all your pain in flowers really worth it? For him? For Dazai Osamu? For your ‘only love’?

No! It couldn’t be! Of course he would love you! Dazai would surely give you all the affection and love you needed, right?

While you were lost in your thoughts all of a sudden the pain you were feeling in your head started to form in your heart, and that heart dropped down to your stomach which instantly made you drop the bag and run to the washroom, the urge to puke coming out of your mouth.

Your steps slowed down as you reached the basin

"Oh god this isn`t happening, shit shit"

cough cough

Petals of a crimson rose chunked out of your mouth forcefully as you kept coughing, You swore you could feel a lump feeling in your throat as if a huge, full bloomed sweetbriar would pour out of you and into the sink.

You wanted to cry, why did this hurt. This feeling of being unheld and sore for someone else's touch and love who will probably never even look at you in the same light,,,It hurt more then the never ending fir you were currently expreriencing.

After an painful epiisode of coughing , a huge floret perhaps the size of a human eye lumped out of your throat which left you panting as your knees felt weak against the counter and you washed you face with some water.

The pain was so unbearable you had to fight the urge to rip off ur throat. Just looking at your reflection on the mirror lets you see why Dazai doesnt want you.

"Y/N-chan!! are you alright?" a familiar voice of a young tiger boy calls out to which you reply, "Ah! dont worry A-atsushi-kun i am A-OK!!"

Your voice shouts back cheerfully still, the sickness could be heard in your tone even after you go out and see dazai with a cheeky smile holding the bento box in his hand. He seemed to have found your little gift.

"Y/NNNNN!!! you seem sick ya alright? Also is this for me?? Your so sweet yknow! i could almost give out my heart to you!" The man says with stars in his eyes, quite the pretty set of eyes you thought. "Ah- thats r-right dazai i made it specifically for you, i really..really hope you like it" you somehow blurt out, god was it agonizing to know that that sweet soft smile doesn`t belong to you even if its a mask, a mere fake smile.

It hurts...alot to know this harsh reality.

Why were you so weak? You had questioned yourself each time your pathetic condition got worse, each a new shade of crimson indicating it was getting worse.

The day went normal, the ladies` man flirting with the woman from the bar across the street from what you had heard her name was Tsuneko, a pretty girl with a pretty smile, Oh how badly you wished you were in her place. In her shoes, laughing and sneaking off to who knows where with that bandaged man.

Atsushi noticed your drowsy eyes and gloomy demeaner but didn`t comment anything only stopping by a few times to check whether you were okay or not, he was sweet and caring, he really was.

Too bad you didn`t listen to everyones words.

During lunch hour you saw how dazai opened your bento box which you put your heart to with care and started munching on a crab leg, he loved crabs.

You were happy even for a moment that atleast his hue on his cheek brightened until you realized a certain someone was accompanying him.

It was like a illness blooming from a dying wilted seed.

Slowly dazai placed a chunk of the seasoned crab on her tongue, Tsuneko.

"Wow, Osamu this is really good did your friend make this?" she inquired in delight. "I know? god shes so sweet!" the man snickered and continued to talk more about his friends, or so what he calls them.

By time you had seen how intimate they got, their secret walks, the night, everything just because how dazai told you how he found the perfect suicide partner.

Tsuneko Tsuneko, Tsuneko, Tsuneko...

Everything was about her yet you still couldn`t loathe the deary couple, they looked like actual soulmates. Who were you to interfere?

You had a little crush now your hating on some sweet woman, seriously how pathetic can love really make you be you had wondered on your final moments.

Days turned into weeks

Flirts turned into touches,

Petals turned into full bloomed roses.

And still your heart didn`t stop beating rapidly around him, even though you tried avoiding him can your love for him be avoided?

It was painful, how longer, why did god allow you to love.

You coughed out another rose on your bathroom sink, a black one this time. The colour of mourning, whereas you mourn for your dead love, one which wilted away like a sad rose in a garden of white lilies long ago yet you still water it. It has been so long that you had beared with this pain, everyone`s hearts have its limits.

You could only feel tears brimming down your face like a glistening waterfall as your legs gave in to the soreness of your body and the aching of your throat.

"Why..dazai, why me..."

It was time...

Dazai and Tsuneko shared many similarities, in which both of them were poor, unhappy souls. Both of them shared lots and lots of conversations which escalated to a funs and giggles to words of a deeper route.

You could have also conversed with him, but he had already deemed you to be a normal and simple daisy, not a beautiful roseate with petals growing out of passion for him.

"Tsuneko, join me in a double suicide, if i have to die i want to die with the woman of my dreams." Dazai declared to her, holding her soft hands in his dry bandaged ones. It seemed the whether will deteriote like a corpse today by the way the clouds are looking.

Both of them stood on the sandy meadows of yokohams grounds with tsuneko in a delightful expression.

"Oh dazai, yes, yes lets do it dazai for i too am sick of this body" Tsuneko smiled, a dead smile. Tsuneko loved dazai and maybe he loved her back too so it would only be appropriate for them to die together.

And as the two lovers slowly collided with the water, your body stood with grace in a flowing white dress slid upon your scarred body.

"Soulless roses purge from my mouth with your lips on another womans one." you tune out softly in despair and a voice of shallowness which you wish you could use to sing for dazai and for him to look at you the way he looked at Tsuneko when she sang on the bar stage.

Your eyes were empty, you can finally be free like a bird in the sky with no strings of a human heart attached with you. The blood splattered on your dress made you looked etheral with your open hair flowing in the harsh wind under the grey skies.

A set of bare feet on the bridge`s railing. Pitch black empty eyes, a rosy and murdered dress and at least...Peace.

You fell hard onto the lake, you were used to this though. This bottomless deep sea of emptiness was nothing compared to the sea of agony you felt when you saw him.

Two bodies were later found at the lake, both gone cold from the freeze of the atmosphere.

A woman was also found it was indicated that she tried to end her life for her eyes seemed to be filled with agony when the poilce found her and somewhat saved her.

"Dazai, my...baby dazai" the woman sniffed and cried on the ground with sirens being loud in the background.

"Ma`am would you please tell me who this dazai is and what is your name?" a female police calmly asked the hysterical woman on the ground.

"Tsuneko.." sniff sniff "Dazai, we promised..to die together, why..?" she cried bitterly. There was only her who they found but after a few moments just when they were about to send tsuneko to the poilce officer they found two corpses run cold from the freezing water.

A brown haired man with a beige coat and another young woman with a gorgeous white dress and blood splattered all over the fabric, it seemed like she vomitted out the blood.

"They.. hahh. They were meant for each other weren`t they..." tsuneko said with a somewhat tired yet relived smile. Its true she was disappointed she couldn`t die with her loved but at least she got to see two people who had coughed out flowers of kinds for each other get intangled, even in death.

Even though both the corpses went cold somehow a glow of light and passion radiated from them for both of them had a smile on their faces infact another thing they identified which was common was that in the pockets of both bodies were an overflowing amount of sooty crimson roses.

The petals weren`t worth all the fight but at least you knew that the same person you coughed for had the same condition.

A/N: Fun Fact Fiction time! (i luv doing these lol-): If you didnt know, tsuneko is actually a character from Dazai Osamus book "No longer human". She was the one who commited double suicide with Oba but oba was the one who survived and tsuneko died which mean..yknow :)

Divider crds!: @plutism

Tags!: @silverbladexyz @saelique @atlasnessie @biscuits-spooky-corner @tojifile @ruanais @riiwrites @tsuunara @typcallysid14 @heartsfourdazai @elizais (Do let me know if you would like to be added or removed from my taglist in my inbox!)

[grimme-and-specs]

I love Kanaya x Rose as much as the next guy because of how they are a fit for each other intellectually, but I will always cherish Rose x John more because John is the whimsical bundle of joy and optimism an cynical, collected, pessimistic, know better girl would compliment. Like Superman and Lois Lane.

You see the vision!

I also get why Rosemary works, they are both very intelligent in their own ways and they go hand in hand, and their dynamic can be interesting with how they could possibly try to one-up each other in their intelligence. Plus, their respective curiosity about one another makes it cuter. It would make total sense for them to fall in love on that meteor and to rely on each other.

HOWEVER, I too, am a sucker for the "optimistic fella" × "jaded guy" dynamic. There's a lot more potential with that (Grimdorks) in my opinion. And as a writer-in-training, this sparks my imagination far more. I can imagine the wacky situations, the shenanigans, the mess-ups, the conflicts. It's not like I can't write Rosemary or draw it, though. It's a matter of preference, and Grimdorks has me by a damn chokehold.

(Further on is where I begin to ramble):

There's also the twist of John being incredibly alone, not physically, but emotionally. He's very aloof, but his whimsical and optimistic nature masks that well enough. And Rose has her own silly and plain mischievous side, through mostly written word and of course when she's by herself, but she always has the front of her intellect. I typically write Grimdorks off of that base. John slowly gains his deep emotional connections back and is able to talk about his own issues thanks to Rose, and Rose slowly lets go of way-too-high standards and lets herself *be herself* without the fear of judgment thanks to John. Of course, these issues can be solved with other pairings in another writer's work, but with them in particular, it just clicks in my head better. Rose is the tentacleTHERAPIST. John is the GHOSTYtrickster, or, ECTObiologist. They were friends. Now they're reconnecting. And this sort of emotional dynamic, where both parties slowly grow and come out of their shells because of each other's influences, makes me lose my shit.

(Quick little funfact: Ecto is a prefix defining an outer or an external trait, coming from the Greek word "ektos", which meant "outside". Like say for example... Ectoplasm).

See, I could go on about these fucks for ages. That alone, took me over 50 minutes to write. And I'm not kidding. There are so many hypothetical scenarios, and I was just going off of what I gathered from canon, like a potential post-game scenario. I am normal about them I swear LMAOO.

Anyway, I would love to gather some thoughts and even some ships and scenarios y'all reading enjoy. It's part of the reason why I rambled so damn hard. Not only to share my appreciation for a fictional pairing that is basically a serotonin cheat code to me, but to also find out what everyone else likes or even dislikes. That's the fun in sharing these sorts of opinions on ships. You could also send me an image of a cruise ship too. Or a cardboard box. Either way, I just wanna say thanks for reading, I know I tend to get long winded over things I am passionate about.

[usedtobecooler]

Billy, I need Billy to be a moaning mess. I want him crying for over stimulation and joy because you're laying all the love in the world on him.

Reader is a sucker for shy kind guys, maybe they meet at a pub and she's immediately smitten by him and things be like:

this turned into a lil more than five paragraphs 😩

warnings: smut — literally nothin else it’s all soft

the thing is, you didn’t usually do this. take home strange, random men from the pub on a random thirsty thursday night out with the girls — yet here you are. pushing this guy down onto your bed with a firm hand on his chest, ready to show him how it feels to be touched properly by somebody.

and you can tell he’s touch starved. his kind eyes and his shy smile gave him away from the get go, he was timid in the way most essex boys weren’t, the only one in his group of friends to not immediately chat you or one of your girlfriends up, and you just needed to take him home with you. give him something to boast about with his pals tomorrow.

“billy, am i okay to keep going?” you ask quietly, just to make sure, snaking up his body and perching prettily on your knees in between his spread legs, hands deftly running along the zipper of his tight jeans. he nods, keen for it, and you smile softly, tug his jeans down with his boxers and leave him bare from the waist down. he does himself the courtesy of sliding his shirt up his soft belly, and you try not to squeal at the sight of him.

you should’ve known, it’s always the quiet guys who have the most to boast about, yet they don’t. his pretty pink cock sits curved on his belly, flushed red at the tip and leaking a blurt of come onto the small mess of curly hair on his happy trail. you mount him in silence, grip the base of his shaft and sink down onto him, gasping as you go, relishing in the way your walls stretch for him.

billy’s eyebrows furrow, a moan falling him his raw, bitten lips as you begin a slow rhythm, working his cock as you slide up and down. he begs you silently to let him touch, and you nod, desperate to feel his big hands roam over your body. you let your dress slip from your shoulders, your tits spilling out as it goes. billy has no restraint, leans up to capture one of your nipples in his mouth, licking and suckling gently.

you cry out, the position changing the angle of his cock buried deep in you, your hands flying out to grasp at his pretty hair. his hands roam up your back, splaying out over your flushed skin to hold you both so close together you feel like you can’t breathe. your senses filled with him — with this man you barely know.

he comes fast, mutters ‘sorry, sorry, sorry,’ into your skin over and over until you’re petting his head and letting him know it’s okay. his cock softens in you, but you don’t get up. wait until he’s hard and then you’re bouncing again, this time harder, faster — and his hips piston up into yours in return, leave you both whimpering and moaning, begging each other silently.

he looks up at you, tears pricking at his eyes and you’re fucking gone for him, coming all over his thick cock and spasming until he’s crying out, pushing you down with big hands on your hips and coming again, making a mess that spills out of you with the slightest move.

you wake up the next day and he’s still there. smiling all sweetly and he looks even prettier in the daylight. the kind eyes somehow look kinder, he radiates a calm, gentle energy. you decide then that you want to keep him around.

[freshlyrage]

I'm obsessed with Running like water and it is such a good fic and I was wondering, Since you posted about wanting to do mini chapters for the before, Would you ever write a homecoming chapter since yk Texas?

Ahhhh. Thank you so much bae. I got a little carried away and decided this will be a two part mini flashback from the Running Like Water. I phoned my Texan friends for this, its getting real. Read note where this falls in the timeline hehe. ENJOY

Homecoming Part 1

pairing: Javier Peña x OFC (written as xReader)

fic warnings: HIGH SCHOOL just angst and fluff these two mini chapters

fic tags: Best friends younger sister, Life-long crush, Friends to lovers, Unrequited love, slow burn, Push and Pull, Small Town Dynamics, Secret Relationships, latina MC, Fluff and Angst, OFC!Jessica Alba face claim, sorry Lorraine I'm bringing you into this, Time jumps, 2 year age gap, pre-canon

authors note: This is a flashback chapter, this falls between Chapter 1 and 2 of Running Like Water . Enjoy some baby andrea and javi angst.

word count: 3.4k

Liandra hated mums. And no, not her mom, you guys were from Texas not the UK for god's sake. 

The girls lacrosse team stood in the mouth of the gym doors to the field, Liandra flicked the blue streams of ribbon. She narrowed her eyes at the 4 senior girls who’s mums were large, covered in white streamers, a small teddy bear attached to its heart. I just will never be that extra when I’m a senior. She whispers to you and you slap her shoulder, your own mum making a crunching sound as your arm swipes past it. 

Monica on the other hand loved her mum, she was huge on school spirit and homecoming, president of the hoco committee, she was smiling ear to ear, waiting to yell and run on field for pictures. 

It was your first homecoming but you knew all about it. You helped Genie make her senior year mum, you shouted at your brother from the bleachers when they let all other sports present themselves before the big football game. It was your turn now, second to last to run out. The entire football team stood behind you and your girls. Your hair pulled in a ponytail, lacrosse jersey hanging loose on your body casting an unflattering look with your flared jeans. 

You had a cute blue top to go with your school's colors but your coach scolded you and forced you into your jersey. 

You look over your shoulder at the tall boys fraternizing and chanting, we lose every year but they seem hopeful. 

Your eyes fall on Brian Flores, a senior who had pulled you aside last week to call you beautiful. Your freshman self blushed so hard you could feel the heat in your ears. He asked you to homecoming which shocked you, you almost wanted to ask why. He was a senior and freshman weren't allowed to go unless their date was an upperclassman. Your suspicion up and left when he kissed your cheek.

You like to think you’re a sucker for romance but your friends just think you're a sucker for attention.

 Monica did not approve, only loser seniors feel the need to sweeten up freshman. 

He flashes you a bright smile with his mouth guard half out his mouth, your stomach flips and you smile back. Staring back at Liandra who wiggles her brows and Monica leans into your ear,

“He wants you so bad, it's sickening. In a bad way.” 

You roll your eyes and the doors open, cueing your team. Hand in hand with Liandra you run, Monica was on the front lines. You stare down at your feet pressed to grass, the friday night lights reigning down on you as the crowd cheers. 

One thing Texas doesn't play about is homecoming, you learned that young. The bleachers are packed, so packed you’re already overthinking, how the fuck am I going to find space. 

You hated events like these, it always felt like the entire student section was eyeing down and sizing you up when you looked for a seat.

Well you were a bit too distracted, running while staring at the crowd. You bump into a tall volleyball player's back very awkwardly. “Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry.” You look up slightly, the girl turns. 

Fabulous. 

Lorraine Smithfield. 

One of the many girls on Javier’s rotation. The one people are saying is the one. According to lunch gossip the two have been going on dates, apparently he drives her home now too. You screwed your brows and frowned to yourself, feeling jealous over a silly little crush. You always awaited the day you would finally be able to be in school with Javi but that fantasy crashed and burned the first week of school. You attended the school bonfire and there you saw Javier with a beer in his left hand and his arm slung over some girl. That was pre-Lorraine. 

But Lorraine is here now, It hurts all the worst when the girl is as pretty as she is. 

Lean, long blonde hair and killer brows. Ripped out of a magazine, and even sweeter, so you've heard. And your pastor's daughter. 

Well here she was, looking down at you with a sweet smile. “It's okay girlie,” she glances at the photographer and then tugs you into her side and forces you to be prepared for your high school photo op. A bright flash makes you blink hard and without giving you any time to think the coaches begin herding you to the sidelines. Lorraine still got her arm hooked with yours. Taking you with her. She smiles, flipping her blonde locks over her shoulder.  “Little Andrea Peña right?” 

Your heart slams in your chest and you look a bit confused, afraid she knows about your crush. 

But it's worse. 

Seeing your confusion, walking you off the field with the rest of the girls, she continues. “Don Chucho calls you little Andrea Peña, your Javis family friend, no?”

You blink rapidly, your mouth parted a bit. 

Great, beautiful, you think, making you sound like Javier's family, not inappropriate and mortifying at all. 

You nod, following her into the bleachers. My god she’s met his dad. Feeling your chest tighten you look at the ground as a final attempt to hide your red face. The feeling of being watched by all the students cheering doesn't go away. “Uh-sure. Brothers friend but-”

She cuts you off, “Do you want to sit with us, he's all the way in the end.” She points and you don't even bother following her finger. Your stomach twists in untangle-able knots at the thought of third wheeling, you smile weakly looking over your shoulder. Monica and Liandra were already settling down. Somehow, you could feel Javier's gaze. 

“I’m okay, but thank you.”

Javier watches you from the bleachers. Lips quirking at its corners, he felt like he’s known you for much longer then he has. 3 years is a long time in high school.  He felt his chest tighten when he saw you in your small top at the 7/11, your skin spread flush when you realized it was him who had stopped in his tracks. 

Andrea?

Watching you run, your friends running in front of you, Liandra let go of your hand. He watched your face change, that face you always seem to make. Like a kid lost in a store, your lips parting and eyes wide. Javi still kept his eye trained on you as you—run straight into Lorraine.

Oh, right. 

The reason he showed up, the pretty girl he had been seeing. Javier didn't care for school events, especially anything involving the football team. Jonathan Saylor in his trig class had talked him up about the football team bucket list which included heinous acts, Javier moved his seat the next day, next to Lorraine. That's how it started.  The sweet girl who showed up at his house and accidentally met his father. His father who, could never shut up about you, telling his possible future girlfriend that;

Have you met little Andrea Peña? You two would get along well. 

Javi shot the illest look at his embarrassing dad.

Now you have and she's holding your arm dragging you towards him. He's exactly not sure why but the idea of you and Lorraine on either side of him makes him nervous. Like Javier is doing something wrong, like he's caught in the act.  You still have that face, like she said something that makes you turn red. It doesn't take much to get you all flustered, for Javi all it takes is a hello, he thinks it's sweet. 

Sometimes he wonders if you really did have a crush on him when you were younger or if it just was your brother teasing him. 

Lorraine points to Javi, his eyes widen and you don't bother looking up. 

You just say a few words and walk away, leaving Lorraine confused at the foot of the bleachers. You hurry away, head straight down like you were meaning to hide your face. And Javi watches you with concern, until you're walking up to your friends, still you somehow find a way to cover your face from his view. Lorraine furrows her brow as she walks up the steps to Javier’s side. 

“What’s Andreas' problem,'' Lorraine's voice calls him from his weird space of concern and chest pain, what's his issue? Javier furrows his brows, “She's a bit socially challenged or what?”

Javier’s eyes snap to his not yet girlfriend, annoyance bubbling. You were a shy kid, always have been even with him despite your closeness. Especially in school, every time he waved at you in front of your friends you would like you've just gotten pantsed in the middle of the hall. He didn't want to add salt to the wound by starting up a conversation and embarrassing you even more. Maybe you were just embarrassed of him. In some weird teenage girl way, and maybe he was embarrassing in that same teenage boy way. Maybe it was because he would say hi to you around Lorraine, but that was simply coincidence. “Don’t be an asshole.” Javi snapped. Lorraine frowns but slides her hand between Javier’s crossed arms. Her manicured hand held onto the bend of his arm.

 Javier’s eyes scan the football field and the rest of the bleachers, trying hard not to look at you again.

He does anyway and you're standing, arms crossed like him with a small pout. Javi looks down at the nails scraping his arm and then back at the side of your face.

 No one has their hand holding you as you stare off at the field, so maybe it was that. 

Javier straightens out his arms at his sides, dropping the girl's arm, earning another frown from Lorraine.

“Has Laredo ever won a homecoming game?” 

“No, trust me I’ve been to all of them. It ends like this every time.” Monica yawns with you and Liandra on either side of her. The game was always a big deal and kind of fun, but for everything but the sports. It was really just the energy of the crowd and the idea of being allowed out late.

The sounds of metal creaking speared your ears but the sound of Liandra’s insane cackle makes it better. You're stumbling over your feet as you jam with the rest of the crowd at the end of the stairs. Liandra wanted to stay by the field entrance to wait for the players to leave, Brian looks hot sweaty were her words of encouragement.

So you all stand in the school parking lot, lit with food trucks and parents indulging in the nostalgia of being at homecoming. 

Out of the corner of your eye you see Javier approaching you and your friends, alone. You did your best to ignore him and the supermodel the entire two hours of the game. The one thing about caring too much about what others think is that you are unfortunately also on high alert of the looks from anyone… ever.

God forbid a look from Javier Peña.

Javier’s look is one far too familiar, so you could feel his eyes on you most of the game and it completely ruined your night. The whole time, arms cross trying to conceal whatever you were feeling in your belly. Like you were going to break if someone asked you if you were okay. 

And if they did, fuck because how do you explain to a normal person a crush this ridiculous. This serious to you at least. I mean you had to take a cold shower after he hugged you in 7-11. 

So again you did your best to ignore him, like you hadn't just seen him kiss Lorraine on the cheek and start walking towards you. 

“Andrea,” He calls and your friend's heads snaps towards him. Kill me now. You smile flatly at him. Coming closer, you let go of Monica's arm. He looks awfully handsome tonight, sporting a laredo high school hoodie, it was so casual that it made your head spin a bit. Again, it made your head spin again, you saw what he was wearing earlier when he was attached at the hip with Lorraine in a hoodie and denim he just looked like a boyfriend. And he’s standing in front of you and your friends, tall enough to block the light shining from the parking lot. “Can we talk?”

Your mouth parts slightly in pure horror, before you can even think Monica has her hand flat on your back, shoving you forward. 

“Uh–yeah sure.”

He says nothing and tilts his head away from your friends and walks. Your wet eyes widen and you give a pleading glance to your friends who couldn't give a damn. You follow Javi a few feet from your girls. 

You take a mental image of the position he has you in right now, you are against the field fence and he's in front of you, not too close but close enough that through the smell of deep fried goods you can smell that nutty cologne he always wears. 

“So?”

He narrows his eyes, “You met Lorraine.”

“I did, yes.”

You cross your arms, hiding in any way you can. You could make a run for it, if you tried. 

“Why didn't you sit with me?”

Your chest caves at that, but your face screws in confusion simultaneously so he’ll never know how flustered the question made you. “Why would I?”

It came out ruder than intended, Javier frowned, his gaze falling to the ground. “‘Cause Lorraine invited you.” His accent poking through.

“My friends were waiting on me, and I didnt feel like third wheeling.” You mumble the last bit and somehow, beyond all the noise of homecoming, he hears it. His lips twitching into a smile he has to bite back.

“You third wheel with Frankie and Genie every day-”

“We don't even hang out anymore” You cut him off, your emotions getting the best of you. Your voice was slightly whiny and annoying but you couldn't care, it was the truth. You were close when you were a tween, you're 2 months from sixteen now, he left without telling you a word. And fuck it, you were a bit pissed about it. You knew that the two of you weren’t best friends, Frankie was his best friend. But Javier was your friend too. 

Was your friend, now, you aren't so sure. 

He looks wounded, “Andrea come on now-”

“No–its true. Last time we hung out, like really spent time together, you were fifteen and I was thirteen. Sorry that I didn't want to tag along awkwardly with you and your girlfriend.”

His jaw ticked at that. And despite your burst of anger, when his softened eyes scan your body you find yourself fighting the urge of just kissing him once and for all. 

But the flare in his nostril makes you flush in a whole other way. In a way devoid of crushing, blushing and

kisses, just fear that he’ll say something to hurt you. 

“Lorraine isn't my girlfriend,” Just a girl who has met your dad you think. “and I didn't mean to upset you.” 

Your eyes widen at the half apology, and you're all flustered again. But before you can talk he–

“Next time I’ll think twice before I invite my best friend's kid sister to hang out. I apologize for trying to be polite and include you, god knows you used to whine about being left out.” 

You straighten up at the low blow, your heart slowly breaking at the unnecessary cruelness from the one boy who has ever been nice to you. The one you convinced yourself that his kindness wasn't  out of pity but maybe out of actually liking you, I guess not, I guess I was wrong. “Don't call me kid. We’re not even two years apart.” You grit, hating how childish you sounded in that moment. Sounding just like a fucking kid.

And he notices and laughs a mean one. The two of you stand in silence, waiting for someone else to hurt the other, it wasn't going to be you. You wouldn’t. 

And you hadn't known then, but it sure as hell wasn't going to be Javier. He hated seeing you cry and in that moment his brain was on fire, killing himself internally for taking it there with you. 

“Andrea–oh am I interrupting something?”

Your eyes snap to Brian as stood with his helmet in one hand, Javier still had his eyes peeled on you. You were so focused on your argument that you hadn't noticed the boy approaching you. Trying to figure out how to fix this with you, how to make up with you. Also trying to figure out why he feels torn in half after a small argument, why he feels like he’s going to be sick. 

“No”

“Yes”

You both say at once, your eyes narrowing at Javier who had said yes. The conversation was done for you, you just wanted Monica to take you home so you could cry over this, over everything. Over the fact that he called you out on what you were most insecure about, about how Lorraine wasn't even his girlfriend and has met Chucho, how she's been to his house. And cry hard at him calling you kid for crying out loud. 

The poor boy stares puzzled, his eyes scanning between the two of you. “Uh-I was just going to tell you that I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 5. You okay?” He places a large palm on your shoulder and you smile a small one, wrapping your hand around the boy's wrist.

“Yeah, I’m good–go-go change and go home, sorry about the loss today.” You throw in some fake sympathy. Like earlier you feel Javier’s gaze burn at the way you are holding Brian. 

He laughs, “Ya tú sabes, es lo que es. See you tomorrow then?”

You remove his hand and smile warmly, your eyes still wet from the threat of crying over Javier Peña who was fuming from behind you. “See you…”

Just when Brian gets far enough…

“What the fuck was that?”

Your nose scrunches and you turn with a look of annoyance at Javier. “What do you mean?”

His arms are crossed and he’s close to you, in that same annoying protective way he did whenever you two were out together during summer. It was a bit endearing and made the tips of your ears hot. Two summers ago he was like this, you remind yourself why you're pissed and that crush fog clears. 

“He’s too old for you. Homecoming? You’re a freshman.”

“Oh please Javi!” You groan and start walking away but he follows you.

“Go with me instead–he’s bad news.” His voice so whiny and urgent. 

Your heart drops but you don't have enough time to take him seriously. He's just stringing you along. You’ve had it with his pity, his selfish ways and how he looks at you like he’s about to get down on one knee. It fucks with your head. You turn to him one last time.

 “Please stop acting like you care, I don't feel left out anymore. I have my own friends and life now. You guys only had me around because my mom made you, cus’ i couldn't make friends but obviously-” You wave your hand in a half circle, he got the memo. “-Obviously I’m doing better now, so just please leave me alone.”

The look on his face, boyish, soft and hurt and at that point you just couldn't bear it. If you looked at him any longer you'd crumble and beg for forgiveness. If you gave him time to respond you would fold over for him once again

 So you leave him instead, this time you leave him. 

Javi watched you go, his mouth dry and his chest in that strange pain. Driving home replaying how desperate he was the second he saw you with another man, what was his problem? How he had nearly seen red at Brian holding onto you like that.

The image of Brian in his shoulder pads making you blush spun in his head while he tried to sleep.

 It wasn’t until Javier was then, in his bed at 3 am when he was reminded of the football team bucket list.

[andromedaexists]

Chrysalis & Requiem || Quinton Li

★★★★★

TW: ALCOHOL & DRUG USE, DEATH, ABUSE (EMOTIONAL & PHYSICAL), VIOLENCE & GORE, DEATH (MURDER), TRAUMATIC EVENTS, SELF-HARM & SUICIDAL IDEATION

Good News: We are starting off the year with a 5 star read! Bad News: I am going to be sick

I'm trying so hard to explain the absolute roller coaster that this book took me on, but I don't think I can. I think the closest imma get is:

I guess, I should start from the beginning. This is an ARC!! I am on Quinn's ARC team (and hopefully eventually street team if I can spare the time) and I got this review copy in exchange for an honest review!

Because the book doesn't release until March, I will be keeping this spoiler free. Sad for me, as you guys know I love giving the full run down on the book.

When I started this book, I was a wee small child (i started it yesterday). I didn't know what the universe would hold for me, I didn't know the emotional turmoil I would be put through.

The beginning was a bit hard to get into, as most books are for me these days. I'm incredibly sick at the moment and I just graduated from college last month, any story where I have to learn new things is hard. And you do have to learn new things for this book, I mean it is a fantasy novel.

But once I hit like 20% I was hooked. I stopped reading for the night at 24% and thought that I would be able to meter out my consumption (wrong) only to wake up this morning and blast all the way through to the end.

I am a huge murder mystery person, and when I started this book I thought that might be a detriment. But I can assure you, it isn't. You think that because you saw the murder that you know what's going on. You don't. At all.

I had my theories, about halfway through I had my theories. The group chat will probably never forgive me for reciting the "I've connected two dots" scene from Unsolved but I mean, I'm not the only person reading the book in that chat so I couldn't tell them what my theory actually was because they aren't to that point yet!

Then I hit 60%. And I really started to struggle. This is my fault, the content warnings at the beginning of the book say "This book contains references and themes to alcohol/drug use" and I guess I just didn't realize that meant we would see the POV character being out of her mind drunk for an extended period of time. As someone who really struggles to be around alcohol due to my past, this was nearly enough for me to put the book down. But I'm glad I didn't

Because then, at 72% in:

And again, not too long after:

Until finally:

And honestly, I don't think I can explain anything better than this. I highly recommend this book for y'all, but please please please be mindful of the content warnings. Actually, imma put them here too

This book contains references and themes to alcohol/drug use, blood, confrontation to abuse, death, emotional abuse, escalating violence, gaslighting/manipulation, gore, lifechanging injury, murder, corpses, visions about traumatic events, panic attacks, paranormal/occult content, self-harm, sexual references, suicide ideation, and trauma.

now for the part some of you are waiting for: some of my favorite quotes!

Thorns falling away, petals outstretched, bleeding red onto white roses—revelation would be hers and hers only.

We leave behind love when we die.

Beautiful, beautiful, so beautiful. They would be beautiful together.

Girls like you have secrets. I'm going to peel you apart and reveal every part of you. I will consume you.

To create is to be alive.

and then this one, an epigraph for part four of the book:

Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again. — Homer, The Iliad

Y'all know I'm a sucker for a good Iliad reference and this one. This one wrecked me. I sure wrote a lot for someone at a loss of words, so I'm going to end this here and go curl in a ball and cry and try not to throw up. I am sick and this book is to blame.

Thank you Quinn, truly. I'm so fucking disgusted I love this book so much

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

Damn, these drabbles are addictive so here I am back again. This time requesting an angsty one for Happy.

Person B sees a little kid with similar hair to A and wants a similar haired baby with person A.

As already well established I'm a sucker for hard guys being soft & this is just the perfect prompt for that.

I don't know how you feel about repeating prompts, especially within the same fandom so feel free to ignore this.

Drabble Masterlist

Tiny Humans

Contains: Mild angst, fluff, discussion of past child abuse

425 words

Comment if you want to be tagged/removed

Happy thinks about the future

Happy didn't know what set him off, maybe it was that you had shown up after he had a terrible week with the Club and just stole him away for the weekend or that it was close to his father's birthday but he wasn't having a fun time. It was raining now, the cabin warm with the fire as you sat inside drinking hot coco as he watched the drops fall on the porch. You came up behind him and wrapped your arms around his body, "what's on your mind killer?"

He turned around and pressed a kiss to your lips, "you taste like strawberry marshmallows."

You kissed his lips, "I do, do I? Maybe that's because that's what I've been eating. You didn't answer my question, what's on your mind?"

He made a face, "just thinking."

You kissed his cheek, "about?"

He shook his head, "nothing."

****

The rain had passed and you and Happy went for a walk through the woods, you and Happy stopping by a creek to sit and watch the water go by. "You know you can talk about anything with me?"

Happy nodded, "I do, I'm just trying to make sense of it myself first."

You smiled, "well when you do, I'm ready to listen." A giggle and the sound of little footsteps had you looking around, then a little girl with a pile of curls on the top of her head appeared before you and Happy.

"Hello miss."

You smiled, "hello, where are your parents?" She reached her tiny hand behind her, "over there. I like your hair."

You smiled, her hair was just like yours, "I like yours too, did you do it all by yourself?"

She shook her head, "daddy helped, mummy thinks it's funny because it takes him so long and he makes funny faces when he does it."

You looked towards Happy who had a gentle smile on his face, "he did a good job."

The little girl's face lit up, "thank you Mister." Without another word, she waved and waddled off.

"Holy shit that was so cute."

Happy chuckled but you could see a terrible thought come over his face, "do you think I'm going to make a good father."

You knew where this was going, "I don't want to hear but that man Hap, you're nothing like him. And yes, I do think you'll make a good father. Is that what's been on your mind?"

He nodded, "yeah, that's right. Is that something you want little girl?"

You smiled, "with you, of course."

Fin

[of-twilight-and-moonshadow]

Perfect Chance - Tyler Bate x Reader

Finally got around to finishing the Reader x Tyler Bate fic I had started a while back. 

Prompt: I’m sorry that somebody you loved made you think it was hard to love you

EDITED IN: TAG LIST @starwithaheart​ @shedevill22 @amourseculier @regalbanshee​ 

I do love my Big Strong Boi <3 

Y/N = Your Name Y/F/N = Your Full Name Y/P/N = Your Partial Name (for instance, i used Anna to write, so it was An-Anna)

Not sure if the perceived Relationships that he has had with Toni and Liv are true, but for this purpose we are saying yes. 

WARNINGS: Verbal Abuse (Brad Maddox is/was a jerk yall), Self-doubt, body conscious 

Austin mentioned = Creed; Ember, Tyler, Etore and Creed are friends I strive to have yall.

Let me know if you’d read a part 2!

(divider)

February 2017

First, it was all compliments and the unending love that I felt.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

“You’re absolutely amazing, you know?”

“I can’t believe how lucky I am.”

Then came the backhanded compliments…

“We’re perfect together.”

“You’ll never find another guy out there like me. Hah.”

“You’re really lucky to have landed me, you know?”

Then the compliments turned to criticisms.

“You should lose a few pounds… or twenty. Make you look better.”

“Your hair needs to be longer, get some extensions or something.”

“Show some more cleavage, would you? I want other guys knowing what I got.”

And the criticisms to pure insults.

“I don’t want you sitting on my lap—you’re fat!”

“God you’re ugly—put some more make up on or something!”

“What the hell did I ever see in you? You’re pathetic!”

The sucker punch came when I saw him kissing another girl backstage- one of the audio techs. It was the last straw, and I couldn’t take it anymore. Austin told me to move on, Tyler said I deserved better; Ember wanted to knock him out for me and Etore tried to get my mind off of it.

Off of him.

Of Brad.

The worst mistake of my life. The mistake that took up 15 months of my life. 15 months I’ll never get back.

The only thing is—how do you move on from something like that?

He made me feel loved and desired.

Then he made me feel unworthy of such affection. Made me feel like I didn’t deserve to be loved; that I didn’t deserve to be happy.

So here I am now, four months later. I had managed to get myself lost in work, to keep my mind occupied, but that only lasts for so long. Now? It’s February… February fourteenth. All I see are happy couples walking the halls of Full Sail, or in pictures on Instagram and twitter. Happy little ‘I love you’s and words of affection.

Sighing to myself, I shook my head and tried to focus on the outfit in front of me. Ember accidentally tore one of the seams on her outfit last week but hadn’t realized it until she wore it earlier on. Taking a deep breath, I stitched the small tear quick and easily, snipping off excess thread and then folding them neatly for my friend.

“Uhm, excuse me? Could—”

The sudden voice caused my heart-rate to skyrocket as I jumped in surprise, My hand went over my heart as I glanced behind me to find the owner to the voice—only for my once racing heart to freeze entirely.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” he apologized, giving me a small smile.

“N-no, it’s alright. I just—I didn’t… Uh… Can I help you—with… something?” I asked awkwardly, tripping over my own words.

“I was hoping so. My last match, I noticed the seam was starting to unravel… on my trunks? Could you fix that? I’d really rather not be wrestling mid-match and them fall off.”

“That would be highly embarrassing,” I frowned, before nodding,” Yeah—I can do it. Er… sew it, real quick.”

“Thank you, here—let me grab them out of my bag real quick…”

“This isn’t fair…” I thought, sighing inwardly,” Cute… accent to die for… nice… Probably in a happy, caring relationship with some—”

“Here we go,” he smiled, handing the black trunks over to me; I felt my face heat up just slightly, but ignored the shiver than ran down my spine.

“Just… give me a moment… I can have these done real quick.”

“Not a problem, love. As long as I have them before my match.”

“Right…”

“Tyler—Tyler Bate.” He held out a hand, waiting patiently with that adorable smile on his face, causing my heart-rate to skyrocket again.

“Uh… Y/P/N—Y/N. Y/L/N. Y/F/N,” I replied, reaching out and shaking his hand.

JUNE 19th 2018

Almost a year and a half. 16 months to be exact. 16 months that Tyler Bate had been on my mind; that I had tried, and failed, multiple times to get him out of my mind. I tried focusing on work, on all the alterations I needed to make to active-roster outfits, fixes to any broken seams… but in doing so, all I heard was the work gossip that floated around endlessly.

“Did you see them together? They’re cute!”

“Right, Liv is interesting. Different that I’d imagine Bate be with.”

“Too pretty, kinda. I don’t know…”

“Maybe so. Out of left field though—just like that time he was with Toni.”

“Must have a thing for blondes.”

Without meaning to, my eyes floated to the strand of hair that was hanging in front of my face. The brown hair seemingly mocking me. Taking a deep breath, I tucked it behind an ear and attempted to keep the U.K superstar out of my thoughts. I knew it was going to be inevitable, running into Tyler today. Hunter had asked if Id be able to go to London for the next tournament show. It was a chance to visit the beautiful country, immerse myself in the rich culture—and torture myself with a secret crush.

So here I was, at Royal Albert Hall, assisting the UK Brand creative department with everyone’s outfits. Right now I was busy, extremely focused on the outfit in my hands. Not only did I have to focus on doing all the stitches correctly; I had to keep myself professional—ensure no mis-stiches. Why?

The jacket belonged to none other than—

“Hey, are you finished yet?”

My head jerked up in surprise and felt like my thoughts had been read—but the innocent slight smile on Toni’s face told me otherwise.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

“N-no… it’s—uh,” I felt myself stuttering,” Almost finished. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’ll come back later.”

“R-right. Thanks.”

I watched with bated breath as she walked away, not daring to take another breath of air until Toni Storm was no longer in sight. Shaking my head in attempts to clear it, I looked down to refocus on the small sequin I was hand stitching.

“Why’s he gotta like blondes?” I muttered under my breath with a small pout,” Nothin’ special about them.”

“Are you talking to yourself now, love?”

The sudden proximity of his voice, the fact he could—probably already did—know I was talking about Toni. About him.

I jumped out of my skin, the needle going straight through the fabric and into my skin.

“Dammit!” I cried, dropping everything to the desk and clutching my finger as the blood slowly began to pool.

“Bloody hell, I’m sorry love—here—” Tyler frowned, taking the towel from his shoulder and instantly putting it to my finger to stop the blood,” Oi—hey there! Grab a medic kit, will ya?” The passing backstage tech nodded before quickly walking off to find said kit.

“Did I get any blood on—” I panicked, reaching with my free hand for Toni’s jacket.

“Don’t worry about it, it’ll wash off if you did. Toni won’t mind, believe me.”

I had to choke back a scoff—of course he would know if she would mind. Suddenly my eyes landed once more on the towel, and I became hyper aware that he was holding my hand so delicately. Instinctively, I tried to pull it away, only for Tyler’s grip to slightly tighten, his gaze finding mine.

“You’ll be fine. Just a small pin prick,” Tyler smiled to me, as the tech came up to us with the kit and Tyler gave him a nod of thanks. I watched in silence, unable to even form a thought to voice; ever so gently, Tyler brought out a small alcohol wipe and after moving the white towel, dabbed at the bloody spot on my finger causing me to hiss and recoil instinctively. Again, his grip tightened, but not uncomfortably so, and he looked at me apologetically.

“Sorry love, had to clean it real quick.” With a silent nod, Tyler unpackaged the band-aid before gently wrapping it around my finger.

“There… all better,” Tyler smiled to me, causing a blush to cover my cheeks. In an attempt to hide it, I ducked my head.

“Now that you don’t have any pointy objects in your hand,” Tyler chuckled, turning his attention back to me,” How have you been Y/N? Good I hope?”

My head snapped up, eyes wide in surprise.

“Something wrong love?”

“N-no, no. Sorry… I just… I honestly didn’t think you’d remember my name. I mean… we only interacted for like… three minutes… over a year ago…”

“Well, yeah… but you’re a difficult woman to forget,” Tyler smiled and I felt my heart constrict.

“Y-yeah, I… I know…” Looking down, I began to pick at my shirt, my one hand grazing the side of my pant leg,”… Gotta loose some weight…”

“What? No- no, love—” Tyler shook his head, reaching out and gently grabbing my hands, holding both with his own; one hand traveled up my arm to cup my chin, raising my eyes to his own. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach go wild at the look of concern in his blue eyes.

“What makes you say something like that? You’re perfect—”

“Not perfect enough,” I mutter, my eyes flicker once more to the ground, only for the soft touch on my chin to lift my gaze once more.

“Whoever made you think that… They’re wrong. How they could even—” Tyler stopped short, shaking his head and took a deep breath, as if collecting himself. Looking into my eyes once more, I felt his fingers gently sweep a lock of hair behind my ear; Tyler seemed to be searching for the words to say, but what could be said?

“I-It’s fine, Tyler,” I shook my head, slowly pulling from his grip and taking a step back,” I’ve—I’ve accepted it… no one… no one will love me…” My voice grew softer and softer, until it broke at the very end. Taking a breath, I grabbed Toni’s jacket, careful of the needle hiding within somewhere. I busied myself with finishing stitching the sequin on, aware that Tyler was still standing behind me. As I finished the stitch, reaching for the next- Tyler’s hand slowly, gently reached with me, his hand landing on-top mine.

“Y/N… I…” Tyler started, before easing the jacket out of my grip and turning me back to face him. The look of pain, discomfort lacing his features,” I don’t know who… how—” He took a deep breath, composing himself again, before continuing,” I’m sorry that somebody you loved made you think it was hard to love you. You are… perfect— I wish you could see it. See what I see every time I look at you. I would call myself lucky if I had even a chance with you—I mean… maybe… maybe you could give me a chance to prove how perfect you are? Give me a chance to love you like you deserve?”

My heart dropped and I forgot how to breathe for a second. Did he just–?

“Are—are you… asking me out?”

“Rather, asking you to be my girlfriend,” Tyler smiled,” But I would like to take you do dinner, before you left back to the States.”

I could feel it—deep within my bones—the fight or flight instincts trying to kick in.

He’s just going to use you.

It’ll be just like with Brad.

Don’t trust him.

Then my eyes focused, looking straight into his baby blue eyes, and I knew.

I had to believe.

Believe in him.

Believe in the possibility—of happiness. Of love.

“Yes.”

I could see his whole body relax with my answer, a bigger smile crossing his face. It was only contagious though, as I too began to smile.

“If there’s time after the show, we can grab a bite to eat. I’ve got to finish getting ready for my match tonight.”

“Best of luck tonight, you and Trent. UE wont know what hit them,” I smiled, blushing as Tyler caressed my cheek; my heartbeat quickened as I saw him lean towards me, before I felt his lips on my other cheek. The mustache tickled a little, but the gesture, innocent and romantic all the same, caused another smile to cross my face.

This was the perfect chance for happiness. For love.

[thehobbitpanda]

OPLA EPISODE 1 THOUGHTS

I'm very hype but also stoned so...

The fighting is well done but surprisingly realistic. Atleast besides the obvious special effects.

Like really shows how freaky devil fruits would be to witness.

The pacing is very fast as there is so much trying to be packed in. But the attention to details is still there. Like stuff that really ties the atmosphere to the manga and anime.

Like it..

MY BOY MY MAN JUST CAME ON SCREEN FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I CANT BREATH

I legit feel like I'm seeing my first crush

Oh God all the personalities are spot on.

God zoro is snarky but also swauve and elegant.

Oh I'm a sucker for a good choreography fight scene but with these characters I'm in awe.

Yeah shanks I'd also give my arm for baby Luffy.

But man seeing this anchor point scene of luffy eating the devil fruit as a up to the current manga reader? Man it's trippy.

Everyone seems like a serious person but luffy is cartoonish in his behaviors. Hard to follow his logic or lack of logic. How endearing he is and why everyone falls in love with him.

omg I forgot how manipulative Nami was.

And zoro just dragging around half a body!!! And then charming a little girl. Amazing. The fighting skills!!!

Everyone wants a piece of Zoro. So sticking to canon.

"Get lost" "I am lost"

Everyone meeting luffy for the first time: "what just happened? I'm intrigued but also enraged by that guy"

OH GOD the nude scene is with Zoro's sword!! I feel violated for wado ichimonji

The trio three!! Like they were always meant to be together

And 1 for luffy knocking Zoro over. Hopefully they keep that running gag.

God three swords is so stupid but I love it so much

Yeeeess there's the Helmeppo haircut that disgusts me. And the Koby that I love!!!

Aaannnd the dendenmushi are horrifying.

I'm excited to see Garp earlier on!! Even though that would be for hundreds of episodes in the anime.

And even though buggy is such a comedy character in my eyes I hope he's also hilarious in the live action. Cause I will never see that man as terrifying.

[tradetobest]

dee's february 2024 fic recs

once again i am late with this but. here's this months recs. narrowing this down was SUPER hard but i hope yall like them :)

(fic roulette 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8)

Blow What's Left of My Right Mind by eyeslikeonyx

pairing: tyler seguin/jamie benn rating: E words: 14k summary: Jamie stares at his phone, reading over the article that Jordie sent him just moments ago as he walks through the woods on the outskirts of his hometown. It’s early in the morning, and he’s finished his daily run, and he’s not entirely sure if he’s reading the headline right. Seguin, Eriksson Swapped in Seven-Player Trade.

VAMPIRES! WEREWOLVES! TENDER LOVE AND CARE! i love a great different species fic like.... loved it sm

my mouth is filled with honey by notthequiettype

pairing: tyler seguin/jamie benn rating: E words: 2.3k summary: Tyler likes Jamie's body so much. Tyler likes Jamie, so much, too.

usually i prefer reading "getting together" but "established relationship" is rlly compelling to me when done rlly well and i think this fic is a phenomenal version of that... like its so good. oughhh...bennguin,,,,..... ohhhhh

if i'm not what you hoped by winglavender

pairing: leon draisaitl/connor mcdavid rating: E words: 10k summary: "Heard the Leafs lost tonight." "Yeah." Mitch pulls an exaggerated face. "Leading the whole game and then Connor's guy ties it up with a disgusting pass, absolutely filthy, and then scored the overtime winner." "That's rough. You want another one?" The bartender tips her head at Connor's half-empty glass; he shakes his head. "Who's your guy?" "Draisaitl, obviously." Mitch taps the rainbow-patterned 29 on Connor's arm for emphasis. "He's not my guy," Connor says.

ask anyone and they will tell you i am an absolute sucker for player/nonplayer,,, its just so good always and it is just as good here... fun dialogue, good tropes..... what else could u want

tightly wound so breathlessly by supras

pairing: leon draisaitl/connor mcdavid rating: E words: 2.3k summary: “Laugh about you not being hard? That’s okay, sometimes it can take a bit, I’ll get you there.” Connor finishes speaking with a determined smirk and Leon just loves him so much, he wants to kiss it from his lips. But Connor is wrong, Leon is hard, so hard he’s dizzy with it.

small dick leon..... ough..... trust guys read this one.... TRUST

two strangers in the red light by notthequiettype

pairing: leon draisaitl/connor mcdavid rating: E words: 14k summary: Connor looks up, derailed only momentarily by how good-looking the guy is, slacks and a button-down open at the top like his pictures, and a nice wool coat. Connor clears his throat. "Is it better if I tell you I didn't request it, at least?" "And ruin the fantasy that I just found out that Connor McDavid's an absolute freak? No way."

again, i am the BIGGEST sucker for player/nonplayer. this concept is so fun and like. the cutest sort of meetcute. awee we met on grindr and you booked a kink sex hotel room 🥺🥺🥺 now fall in love. amazing.

Where You Lead by Linsky

pairing: nico hischier/jack hughes rating: E words: 42k summary: There are no subs in the NHL. So Jack isn’t one, obviously.

ive been waiting for this fic to be done so i could rec it and oh my god was it worth it. im also a big sucker for a bdsm au, and w these two you can just.... do so much..... its so good,,,, hurt/comfort my beloved.....

like one of your girls by Idday

pairing: jack eichel/connor mcdavid rating: E words: 13k summary: “I’m not a girl,” Connor blurts, all at once. Jack doesn’t even flinch. “I know that,” he says. “But you want to be my girl. Don’t you.” 

i forced myself to pick only one idday fic this month and while i loved them both... this one... oughhhh... the "Connor just wants to be a 1950s housewife" tag sold me so hard and i am a happy customer. 100% would purchase again....

no but really (an unserious au tumblr primer) by snowinthestars

pairing: jack eichel/connor mcdavid rating: T words: 2.6k summary: Connor McDavid is definitely dating the Oilers in-arena host Jack Eichel. Just let me show you my proof! [A fake Tumblr-style ship primer for an AU where Jack works for the Oilers' broadcast instead of playing.]

i love sort of meta-esque fics like this theyre so FUN to me!!! this one is like. a perfect example of that and what i mean.... likeee RAHH i would EAT up this primer in this universe... so great

[ram-reads]

Blue Flag was the perfect book to end the year on. The manga follows a third year high schooler named Taichi Ichinose. One day he decides to help the shy girl from his class, Futaba Kuze, even though he doesn’t like her because she reminds him of himself. That leads to him finding out she has a crush on the popular guy in school, Toma Mita, who happens to be his childhood best friend that he is no longer close with. After seeing how determined she is, Taichi agrees to help her and as he helps her he starts to fall for her. Unbeknownst to both of them though is that Toma actually has a crush on Taichi and Futaba’s best friend, Masumi Itachi, has a crush on her. I absolutely loved this story. I was invested from beginning to end. All of the characters were so lovable. Taichi was a great protagonist. He’s a little pessimistic, but I like seeing negative people become more positive. Futaba was so adorable. Her eagerness to grow and achieve her goal was inspiring. Toma was a sweetheart. Watching him try so hard to continue to be friends with Taichi, who believes they live in two different worlds, made my heart ache. He has such a good heart for a jock. Masumi was admittedly kind of a jerk, but I still ended up liking her because of how protective she is of Futaba. I hope she’s as prominent in the story as the other three. For someone who doesn’t like love triangles I’m enjoying this one so far. It helps that it’s not obnoxious and that I like all the characters. The way I would prefer it to go is Taichi ending up with Toma (that bus scene!) and Futaba ending up with Masumi (I’m a sucker for protective characters). I would love to see two queer couples be the main relationships in a shoujo manga. I’m gonna keep my expectations low though because I’m sure with Taichi already falling for Futaba they’ll end up together. Both of them are great too, so if they are endgame I won’t be too salty. The art was great. I liked how most of the character designs felt original. After reading a lot of shoujo manga it starts to seem like there are many similarities between the main characters of each, but this manga managed to avoid that. Both Futaba and Taichi were such little cuties. Futaba was often compared to a hamster and it definitely worked. I loved the height difference between them and Toma because he is a giant. I’m glad this was the last book I read in 2021 because it had everything I wanted. I want to read volume 2 right away but only if I can get my hands on a physical copy. Why am I only reading manga that my store doesn’t have volume 2 of? This is the second one this month. Why am I doing this to myself? I definitely plan on snatching it up as soon as it comes in though.

[pacifymebby]

Rank the peaky men from who you'd want to sleep with the most to least 😬

So difficult for me near the top of the list because i can't pick between favourites really.

1. Bonnie would be the all round sweetest to sleep with i think, physically i find him most attractive (i am a sucker for that classic irish blue eyes black hair combo) Bonnie would definitely look after you, you know he'd be gentle with you your first time and hold back from going to hard unless you begged him... He'd be worried about hurting you. He'd be super cute afterwards as well, you know hed lie there with you, smothering you with kisses, lots of praise. He'd definitely accidentally fall asleep afterwards though and his snores would be v cute.

2. Alfie... Besties I've had such a silly wee daddy issues crush on Aflie since i was like 16 years old and i have not grown out of it. Now I'm the kind of girl who gets incredibly self concious and shy when i go on top and i tend to avoid it unless someone can make me feel comfortable enough with them... But i swear to god Alfie would just have to give me half of one of his little Alfie style speeches and tell me to come sit in his lap and id be all his.

Maybe he can't go on top or really go hard with you because of his injury but you know that doesnt mean hes gonna give up control of you. He'd be talking you through everything with one hand on your neck completely in control of you and hed be full of praise for you too.

3. This is where it gets kind of hard to choose but... Isaiah is 3rd because i am such a little bitch for arrogant and cocky classic bad boy stereotypes. Hes also just really. Fucking. Hot. If this man addressed me i would melt, id blush id trip over my tongue... Id be totally flustered and it would boost his ego and he'd be all the harder and faster in bed for it. Definitely going to treat u like a little whore and then sing your praises after.

4. Tommy - daddy issues again sorry guys. I want to misbehave, get myself into all kinds of trouble and then have him really calmly, sternly put me in my place. I read a fic on here once where he took y/n up against a wall, held her neck in his hand and forced her to look up at him. He points his finger between him and her and all he says is "respect the boundaries" and yh... Want Tommy Shelby to tell me to respect the boundaries.

5. John - I'm not gonna lie to you i always used to find john to be too sulky and childish for me, but there is something quite attractive about the thought of bringing him out of that sulk if you know what i mean? I also think hes the type to have a complex and need to tell you "youre mine" over and over whilst he's fucking you. As if him fucking you doesnt make that quite clear already.

6. Arthur - the same with the "you're mine" thing hes definitely growling/spitting that into your ear whilst hes taking you from behind. Also imagine being all snowed up in the bath with him and fucking, having a cigarette and then fucking again. His temper would scare me though, i get scared when someone's genuinely angry with me and arthurs angry sex would probably make me cryyyyy lolllllllll like if he shouted id just die.

But i do also think hes got a sweet side and would be devoted to you in a sense and that would be hot.

7. Freddie Thorne - sexy sexy communism mmmmm (see also, Ada Thorne)

8. Aberama - lowkey have a thing for an attractive but slightly sleazy older man and i would probably let him do anything to me)

9. Michael - would you believe this boy was once at the top of my list, my list used to go Michael, Alfie, Tommy... And then Bonnie, Michael, Alfie... And then one day i just stopped famcying blonde men 😭 (B says thats called becoming an adult haha) i also hate how he became so spoilt and entitled. I liked him when he still had some of the innocent in him. Being bad didnt suit him the way it suits Tommy and the others and i think it's because deep down the others actually do care about their families and their principles. In order to be a Blinder Michael has to lose all the principles he was raised on and take up a new set... He literally has to sacrifice his backbone to fit in with Tommy and i think if you can change urself that easy u have tiny dick energy and ur not to be trusted in or out of bed. He probably takes more than he gives.