#and i already quit my day job
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A friend of king's!
MORE LIKE A *chuckles darkly, before speaking in danny smokes voice* GAY FRIEND
#i'm here all week#and i already quit my day job#and im in serious debt to the mafia so i really hope this whole comedy thing pays off#[joined the game]#[first wall]
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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soooo in order to keep y'all from sitting on the edge of your seats, i decided to put together a bit of a february road map. uh. such as i'm capable of having one, barring me being thwacked in the head by an idea i simply MUST get out, ahahhaa!
feb 14: leo valentine's day one-shot
feb 19: super secret project that definitely isn't a present for my roommate's birthday
feb... sometime: symphony 24 (will likely be before the other dates, depends on how quickly i can get them finished!)
feb 27: ...dont worry about it
late feb: donnie didn't mean to do that but well he's here now
late feb again, if i have time fingers crossed: symphony 25
march 1: mating season event
#text tag#dates are post dates not start working on dates. for clarity hahaha. i've started working on the leo one already#fingers crossed i'll have it finished...tomorrow? maybe day after? then i can start working on roomie bday thing I MEAN Definitely Not That#which... if i get finished quickly... means symphony 24. Fwah! so many irons in the fire!!!!#quick. someone pay me to write fanfiction so i can quit my job and write all day!!!!#EDIT I FORGOT ONE
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i was rereading the story dialog for the sephirah while ago (upper layer so far considering i have a doc to contain all of my ramblings and thoughts once looking it over and getting actual lines to be able to know exactly what was said to base my feelings off of rather than the pure unfiltered pain or i suppose somewhat shock at first and those garbled memories of what happened) and after reading tiphereth's and then going to netzach's again it's just.
imagine you have to see what is deemed your other half, the person keeping you sane, your only companion you actually love and like, your literal ‘twin’ have to get crushed but some bum that never does his job and can easily be seen as 'not meeting standards' does get the same treatment at all when your own brother had been destroyed for less like spiraling into some dangerous stains of thoughts (thought be fair he did end up not as respondent and at that point already had what i'll inadequately describe as 'memory leakage' . But from the general idea of the side of tiphereth). he'll be more better than that drug addict ever will be in her eyes, someone who can't even do a report on time and even then is half assed to where at that point they'd just do it themself in the first place. he'll be way better, someone who is quite literally her family. yet why is her brother the only one that needs to suffer through that constant degradation of the soul? the constant wiping of the self? the memories made and lost? why the hell is someone that should deserve it in her eyes, someone so unmotivated and lazy, someone who she deems as a person not able to do a single thing right, not having that happen to them? why is it the person she loves so dearly, so close to her that she wishes would've stayed instead of some now hollow husk and imitation of imprinted memories when that hasn't happened to Any One Else? why does she have to go through all of that, having to see someone that she used to know and adore turn into a hollow husk and imitation of what once was - having to feel as if shes already looking at a walking corpse with memories shoved inside - just for someone like Netzach to not end up crushed to pieces.
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#tiphereth#lobotomy corp ramblings#netzach#i suppose so? im not quite sure but it does reference him#JUST SO YOU KNOW i adore him and dont hate him for feeling as if he has to depend on substances to even get through the day or exist#or to 'survive' in a situation when he was unwillingly even put into the position of hopelessly having to be in charge of people's lives#it's a bit odd because i tend to switch to 'you' when writing from a purely emotional standpoint when trying to get into a mindset#so it might seem like i agree. NO . NO?? just trying to maybe understand what she couldve felt at that moment#im not that clear with my words sometimes and i dont want them to be taken in a wrong way....... i hope it communicates what i wish it to#its not pure animosity. but for someone who is already grieving another who is standing right next to her she likely--#-- holds some amount of hate and distaste towards him. in lobcorp already considering his work ethic and having to do a job#OH THEY REMIND ME OF ADAM AND EVE FROM NIER AUTOMATA#one wanting to try and ascertain a 'reason' or 'truth' of existence while the other one just wants them to stay By Their Side.#not caring for that 'deeper meaning' or if there is any 'meaning' at all. their 'meaning' was their love. their life was the two of them#together. side by side. wanting the other and that was good enough for them.#not EXACTLY the same but the idea of loss and two siblings . with generally the same idea yk.#lobotomy corp spoilers#ALMOST FORGOT THAT yeah spoilers.#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE if you feel a different way or see it in another way tell me i want to understand more#lobotomy corporation spoilers
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I got home, put my pajamas on, carried around my Barn Owl plush(Kiev(also Soren but originally and forever Kiev)), restarted the dryer, and then went upstairs to immediately go outside on the deck and literally chill. Then came back inside 'cause I don't want frostbite and scrolled on here.
I've reached my people limit far faster this time and it's a miracle if I make it through the holidays with committing murder.
#I haven't carried Kiev around like i did for about a year#and the last time is just short of a year when a tentative friend fucking lost him at target for a week and i genuinely considered cutting#off the friendship because of it#it does not help that my chronic pain was flaring BAD in january so I was already in a bad mood#this plushie is so precious to me#I bought him myself at the National Archives in Washington DC almost 4 years ago next year on the first day when overstimulation was being#a bitch.#like fuck I'm letting him go anytime soon#you can pry him from my cold dead hands#I'm so done with people but i have another week before Christmas and i work in retail#this next week is only gonna get bussier and im gonna hate it#might wait through the new year before quitting and getting a new job#I fucking need it
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unnerving to see people younger than me living their lives and doing adult stuff successfully. stop that you're supposed to eat ice cream for dinner and be unemployed
#stop making me look bad by having a husband and a baby rn you're 22 fr 😭#tho i do have two friends who got married at 18 and 21 and actually i look good compared to them bc everyone they know was like stoppppp#they dated for ike 4 months before getting engaged lmao#but some people who got married young are actually doing okay and normal and that makes me look bad lol#not necessarily always abt marriage tho#people younger than me with an actual career or grown up job make me feel this way also#anyway#every day im living a life indistinguishable from when i was a teenager and many people my age are already parents with mortgages and such#😐😐😐#anyway i spent my grown up job money on some flowers and now i have no job bc i let my mean supervisor bully me into quitting#i also spent grown up job money on an oven (successfully) and a car (unsuccessfully)#i am rlly just out here.... telletubby with a credit card fr#job just give you money and you can spend it on whatever you want (but watch out)#anyway car was a piece of garbage that couldn't pass inspection 😔#was so proud of myself paying cash for my first car but there's a reason it was that cheap lmao
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!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#A great episode tbh especially given the low budget. I feel like they really did their very best#And even though what I'm going to say next is probably going to be all critic - because I nitpick things and that's what I always end up–#talking about - I still want to underline that it was a very solid and enjoyable episode!!!#Alright the ss/kk was so 💞💞💞 every scene I had to rewatch twice or thrice akhscbashfb they're so cute!!!#Except for the riding scene tho. That scene gives me massive second hand embarrassment every time I just wish it will end as fast as–#possible pffttt. Mmmmhhh... The drawings weren't even too bad all accounted. My main complain is about the quicksand scene...#I feel like that one should be a slow quiet emotional scene. I never licked the choice of using the song as background soundtrack :/#I feel like it ruins the mood of the scene (it was still good though)#I also... Generally don't like the direction they seem to go for with Akutagawa's character in the anime‚ he seems quite a bit flatter–#compared to how he is in the manga. He can't be angry and evil ALL the time you need to show that softness get through from time to time.#If not what even is the point of his character. Yet in the anime he's angry (and not distraught) when he loses the mine craft and he's–#angry when he's questioning Atsushi about his motifs and he's angry when he's bragging about Atsushi's abilities to Goncharov and he's–#angry when he makes the promise with Atsushi at the end of the episode and eventually he'll be just as angry even when telling Atsushi–#to run away as he's sacrificing his life for him. It is pretty flat at the end of the day.#If I can say something about K/ensho Ono without being killed I think they do contribute to making him feel angry all the time.#But that said it's all probably poor directing choices (or simply choices I don't agree with).#Also‚ about cuts. Usually I try to be lenient about it– I understand it's hard to fit in everything and b/sd already does a very–#good job by adapting the manga almost panel-by panel. It's just that... You skip Akutagawa showing compassion for Atsushi after the–#orphanage director died. You skip Atsushi sharing the same compassion when Akutagawa loses his targed in the mines chase. You skip the–#“Nothing special about that. // I suppose he's far crueler than my own mentor.” line. And sure each of them may be negligible by their own#But together they wave a consistent web of relationship between the two characters you know? And it's a loss to omit them all#Well no mind. Again it was still a great episode overall!!!!#I think the colors in the mines could have been prettier in the mines but we can't have it all#Off to season 4!!! Omg I can't believe we got this far :DDD#random rambles#FINALLY was able to catch up in time for the season 3 finale!!!!!!
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pay me pay me pay me pay me pay me pay me pay me pay me pay me pay me pay me pay me pay me pay me pay me pay me pay me pay me
#dont mind me just trying to manifest my fucking paycheck#and by manifest i mean if my direct deposit doesnt drop into my account today i am going to end up on the news#if my boss forgot to do payroll before leaving the fucking country its going to take all of my willpower not to quit on the spot#like she didnt process the raise we negotiated two months ago she didnt give me the hours she promised me in those two months#and she shut the entire business down for january so i had to scramble to get a temp job anyway#and i asked twice if she wanted me to come into the studio with literally every other employee the day before shut down and she said no#bc she would just call me to check in#and then she didnt call me or check in#so she leaves the country and then texts me the next day in a panic bc a file she needs wasnt uploaded to the web so she can access it#like perhaps it would have been had i gotten that studio day that everyone else got#and now im not even getting paid on time#like i wasnt scraping by already bc she cut my hours and didnt process my raise anyway#genuinely cant afford to fuck around with this anymore#if she doesnt give me that raise the literal second i clock in in february on god im walking out on her#and the raise is still less than the last person in my position was making so you know what#if im not making that same rate im walking
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One of my favorite things about my job is that our office is actually a semi-stylized cabin, complete with a covered porch. So on days like today, when business is slow and the rain’s coming down, I can stand outside, take some deep breaths, and just enjoy the view for a while.
Moments like this aren’t particularly special, I guess, but they always leave me feeling at peace and happy to be alive, so I cherish them all the same.
#peaches screams into the void#fun fact#I took a 43% pay cut when I quit walmart and came here#needless to say I had. quite a few people telling me I was making the wrong move#but I firmly believe this job is in part what’s kept me alive this year. and I’m not talking about my paychecks#my already fragile mental health deteriorated so badly at walmart that it even affected my physical health#most days I’d spend any spare moment on the clock I got in a bathroom stall with a pair of scissors just trying to alleviate the stress#I’ve made leaps and bounds in working to improve myself these past months#and that’s a hell of a lot easier to do when your job doesn’t make you want to die y’know?#and that’s worth so much more to me than a bloated paycheck#…I mean it WOULD be nice if I could get paid more make no mistake 😂#but as it stands I call it a worthwhile trade-off
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Me sneaking into your asks with this drabble:
Disclaimer: I have yet to get a good grasp of Moze's character so this might be a bit OOC and on your side as well (sorry). I did my best. Also, this was inspired by the post you made abt telling Moze your tasks for the day | 600+ words (not proofread)
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In Moze's eyes, you reminded him of a dog catching a case of the zoomies.
You were quite literally everywhere. He'd find you talking to someone one moment before you're rushing off to do something else entirely the next. It seemed like you had quite a lot on your plate as of recently. Tasks, things you wanted to do, and so much more spinning around that mind of yours. You've told him a bit of your plans so he has a general idea. But seeing you juggling all of those tasks at once makes both admiration and concern bloom in his chest.
One time, Moze found you carrying a box filled with items. It would've been amusing to him how comical it was that the items piled so high— he could barely see you behind it. However, he did worry right after given how you almost tripped over something. He managed to catch you and the items before both came crashing all over the floor.
He insisted on helping you carry the items to wherever its destination was. It took a bit of pursuasion on his side. Convincing you that it truly wasn't a bother to him at all, and that he'd be very much glad to be of assistance to you.
"I need to get these delivered first. Then go stop by the shop to buy some things. After that…" You go on to ramble about the things you had to do to help get a better vision on what else you had to do. "Oh, no… I messed up." The smile on your face dropping at the thought that had slipped your mind until that moment. "I forgot to invite Jiaoqiu to dinner with the others—"
"It's tomorrow evening, right? He knows. I mentioned it last time when I spoke to him." Moze says with a calm tone.
You blink at him, slightly caught off-guard by the man beside you. Though it's immediately replaced with relief and gratitude. The smile on your face already back, lighting up your features once more. Infectious as always, it makes the corners of his lips tug upwards as well. A small part of him feels quite proud to have been able to help you ease your worries even by a bit.
And this is when you start noticing it.
Did you mention that you're running out of a certain skincare product, but you can't find the time to stop by the store to buy it? Moze conveniently has to stop by near the store and buys it for you. Did you also mention that you wanted to do a certain task but keep forgetting about it? He gently reminds you about it via message or verbal if he's nearby. Did you also happen to mention that you've been meaning to try out a certain desert from a cafe, but the schedule simply doesn't seem to allow you? No fear, he passes by the store to buy you the treat.
Moze doesn't see you as someone incapable of handling things by yourself. To him, he simply sees it as a way to show his care. If making a quick stop somewhere, sending you a small reminder of something you had to do that day, or even helping you out with the tasks you need to accomplish, makes you smile? Gives you a chance to take a break? Let you worry less about the things you need to do? It's worth it in his eyes.
He does his best to avoid making you feel like you're bothering or troubling him (you really aren't). Most of the time, he does them discrcetly and casually. Partially, since he's also scared that you'll think he's weird or a creep for acting like that.
Please don't think of him badly.
Moze truly means well.
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 cy!#彡 inbox.#彡 cherishing.#excuse me cy 🥹🥹🥹 you wrote a drabble based off a vague little post i made about moze 🥺🥺 HOW WILL I EVER THANK YOU 🥺🥺 that is so sweet ?! ?!#600+ words ?!?! CY !!!!!! THANK YOU ?!?????!!!!!! IM IN SHOCK /pos IM STARING AT MY SCREEN LIKE 🥹🥹🥹🥹 YOURE SO KIND YOURE SO SO SO KIND !!!!#‘you reminded him of a dog catching a case of the zoomies’ HANSNDJDN i want to be his dog 🙂↕️🙂↕️ and !! i have to say — the energy rush a#him is so real T T HE IS JUST SO FUN HES SO SWEET HES so awesome he’s so lovable — zoomies is inevitable with mr shadow guard of the yaoqin#im smiling so hard at the ‘you were quite literally everywhere’ AAAAAEEEE there is much to explore !!! THIS IS SO CUTE THOUGH IM SO 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#THE CARRYING THE BOX SCENE ?!???!???? this reminds me of one of previous jobs i had ajanskdkxk YOU DONT REALLY NEED TO SEE . YOU CAN PEER#AROUND THE BOX — BUT MOZE SEEING ME IN SUCH A STATE IS SO EMBARRASSING/pos omg he caught me x0x IM BRIGHT RED AT THIS THOUGHT SHSNJDCJ also#cy !!! i will say that i love your writing and you put down your thoughts ….. this is such a cute read and my heart is so soft reading this#truly truly thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to write something as sweet as this for me ?!?! i am so blown away and so#thankful AND SO EMOTIONAL AND SO HAPPY oh )))): thank you thank you thank you thank you cy!!!! i adore you infinitely 🥹🥹🥹🤍🤍🤍#NOOOOO HE DOESNT NEED TO HELP ME CARRY IT ALL THE WAY THERE 🥹🥹🥹 SURELY SUCH A THING IS NOT IN HIS JOB DESCRIPTION#even if it was i would feel bad !!! T T oh my god please cy this image of him insistently that he’ll help is making me so red /pos he’s so#sweet ))): OH MY GOD AND THE RAMBLING SJSNSNDKXKKS IM REALLY SO RED AND FLUSTERED READING FHIS SKNSNDNX HES LISTENING TO IT 😭😭😭 HE IS#PERCEIVING ME 😭😭😭😭 but i do think my nervous chatter would activate in his presence — oh cy that would be so awful — to talk and talk and#talk his ear off :’) OMG OMG HE ALREADY TOLD JIAOQIU 😭😭😭 SAVIOR MOZE life saver moze i am indebted !!! TWICE NOW . THE BOX AND NOW THIS#him feeling proud ?! 🥹🥹 there is much more for him to feel proud about ! for example — how resilient he is / how strong he is / how kind he#is / how … i should not continue HIM KNOWING WHAT SKINCARE PRODUCTS I USE ????????? AND CHECKING WHEN IT RUNS LOW ??? ))))))): AND THE REMI#REMINDERS * MEAN SO MUCH TO ME OH CY ))): YOU ARE TOO TOO TOO KIND IM SO HONORED TO HAVE RECEIVED SUCH A GIFT insjdjxnj ))): cy !!!!!!!!!!#THE DESSERT …. I LOVE CINNAMON OR LEMON DESSERTS …… oh he is ))): he is too kind )): YOU!! ARE TOO KIND CY !!!!!! I WILL SOB INTO MY HANDS#BECAUSE THIS IS MAKING ME SO HAPPY AND )))): !!!! omg ))):#HE IS SO SWEET . HE MEANS WELL ???? I LOVE HIM I LOVE YOU I LOVE HIM I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU BOTH !!!!! i think i would genuinely burst into#tears thinking about him doing anything for me to :’) ease up some days :’) IM JUST :’) this is so thoughtful and so :’) im so incoherent a#and these tags are so messy — im just so happy and have read this like ten times over !! and go -> 🥹🥹 each and every time#thank you cy !!! ): from the very bottom of my heart!!!! you are such a skilled writer and you have such a kind heart#i saw your post about drabbles for friends and oh — im hugging you so tight — thank you for being so sweet to everyone ): i adore you so mu
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god i fucking hate job hunting. i dont wanna "empower customers and drive shareholder value by delivering products at scale". i dont wanna "join a high-performing team and collaborate with cross-functional partners to drive impactful solutions". i dont wanna "help establish a leading brand and accelerate growth in an undisrupted industry". can i just work on a thing that people like or find useful. is that too much to ask
#rambles#its a real grim time to be an avowed genAI hater in the tech industry who doesnt want to help cause outright harm#most job postings matching my skillset are either for plainly evil companies that are actively ruining society and the earth itself#(amazon or meta/facebook or google or what have you)#or doing stupid ai bullshit that *also* helps ruin society and the earth itself#or it's web3/crypto. which obviously also sucks for the same reasons. though sometimes its a fun combination of those 3#i got like halfway through the interview process with a company that was none of those things that i thought would be a really good fit#but i got the “we're not moving forward” email today- given the job posting is no longer up im hoping they just already found someone#as opposed to them rejecting me outright. but i have no way of knowing.#man i just. dont know what to do. the tech industry sucks more with each passing day but its the only thing i have experience in/skills for#if i were to quit & go back to school for something else that would be a huge gamble that would leave me broke#and i probably wouldnt have better job prospects by the end of it- just more palatable ones#like my dream job would be in localization but 1. my japanese isnt good enough so i'd have to spend probably multiple years developing it#and 2. from what i understand its a very competitive & unstable job market with mostly contract/temp work#every day the temptation to just get up and walk in the woods and spend the rest of my days as a hermit grows stronger
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i can not even begin to explain how stressful the last two days have been at work
#yapping#my job is super chill 90% of the time... like i literally get paid to do nothing often#unironically most of my drawings are started and completed during my work hours thats how non busy it is#but these last few days have been insane.. i need all our clients to drop dead this second for the sake of the entire teams sanity#i almost cried from stress yesterday at one point#i need my companys CEO to stop liking me and having faith in me ngl#IT DOESNT PAY OFF TO BE LIKED BY YOUR BOSS#cause it just means hell give u more responsibilities that he doesnt trust other people with :'^)#ppl were genuinely thinking of quitting this week 😭😭😭😭#i have faith itll get back to normal soon though#today is already chill compared to the previous days#yesterday i was on three phonecalls at the same time all while texting with the CEO nonstop for hours#and all of that while actually doing whats my literal job in the background#i stayed an hour longer to finish the report i make at the end of my shifts#my dad got mad at me for staying longer (he was at ny apartment at the time)#but man what else can i do its so insane#also i did not report my overtime to anyone cause i wanted to do my report in peace without having to multitask 10 things as well#the money for that one hour isnt worth the stress xjdjdnhdhdhdj#im yapping now but GOD its been so bad#at least we all got $100 bonuses SIGH#ive already spent that money in my mind ngl#lowkey spent it irl as well not just in my mind
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Not to be sappy on main, but I will forever be a hater to people who say video games can't be a productive use of your time.
#ig it's time to talk about how#elden ring#literally saved my life#i spent my last 40 dollars on the game this time last year in fact#i was spiraling real bad at the time too#quit my job#quit my hobbies#felt so certain that i would quit school too#and then i decided hey i'm gonna play that game my old coworkers talked about just to feel closer to them#and i fucking loved it#i loved every second of it#it got me excited for the first time in years to try something new#maybe it was the sense of nostalgia it gave me for DA:O#but elden ring was the first game to make me feel like i was good at something in almost a decade#i don't care if you used a cheese weapon#or beat godrick with your bare fists#what matters is that you had fun#because let me tell you#if i hadn't been having fun#if i hadn't been looking forward to getting online every day and helping people beat malenia#then i probably wouldn't be here to post this today#anyways this is long but my point is- you have to live#no matter what it is#find something to live for#if playing elden ring keeps you excited to live than play it#if thinking master chief would be proud of you for brushing your teeth than by god soldier you go ahead and keep doing that#this is already really long but i also want to say#thank you all so fucking much for interacting with me#whether its my posts or from in game summons#fight on ye tarnished- i believe in you
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#was gonna pierce my lip but I realized I lost all the caps to my barbell piercings and I didn't even realize. I'm so fuckin mad#now I have to get more#idk if I can just get the screw on heads. idk what mm size they are#anyway. bone broth is successful. it's been slow cooking all day and looks and smells good. it's gonna make for hella nutritious soup base.#also I've been hunting down Spanish vocab audio because that's how I learn best.#listening to more language transfer and adding music to my Spanish playlist.#still definitely not conversational but my comprehension is going up quite a bit.#I had a grumpy Russian man come through my lane today and the desire to communicate better was so strong.#I just wanna learn all the languages.#I just need to find more resources that work for my brain.#I have a Spanish vocab book and I hardly touch it. duolingo sucks for me. I hate Rosetta Stone.#but there's resources out on the internet I just have to find them and use them.#there's a few good ones on Spotify I've found. as much as I hate Spotify conceptually for music artists it's still a resource I can use.#as much as I don't wanna apply for new jobs I don't wanna work in the same place next year when we move.#I still really wanna try food service. my speech has gotten way better and my stutter is almost never present#so job interviews should be way easier to pull off. I hope. I really hope.#I really wanna get back into nursing but idk if we're moving early enough for me to get into a cna certification class for spring semester.#I really should email the local community college and find out if I can pull off a late start or jump into a class already partway through.#I could look that up right now actually. find out when classes start there and how much I would be missing.#because I've passed the certification before it shouldn't be hard to jump in partway through I think.#hah. I'm so competent. I just looked up the information right now. there's an adult education center where I'm moving that offers the course#but not until halfway through spring.#so I could work food service for the spring and then switch to cna after.#I'm medicated so it's entirely possible and feasible. I have the ability.#hmmm. if I'm going into nursing maybe I should reconsider the lip piercing? hmmmm.#I can just let it heal over if it's an issue.#plenty of time between now and then.#anyway I'm going to bed good night.#well. maybe going to bed.
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y'all pls hype me up to quit my job today I'm shaking and nauseous from how anxious I am
#context: i only have pity shifts ajd theyre all on days where im in that employment program#(for those who have followed me sinxe last year its the same one but rebooted)#and i wanna focus on doing my stupid insurance course cause if i go to insurance ill still feel meh about my job but ill be making money#so i wanna quit my current job cause it makes me miserable because of My Own Fault#but like. already know my boss is shit talking me to everyone else (and everyone else to me tbh so nothign new)#and i dont wanna like. have a conflict abt how its not 2 weeks notice cause like#i dont have real shifts i cant work alone none of my shifts are even important#so it should be no problem to quit after today. and yet !!!!!!!!#i am literally gonna throw hp over this. hence why i wanna quit instead of keeping the extra bit of income#the $150 every 2 weeks isnt worth the intense physical anxiety that comes with it
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just met with my old coworker from my last job for breakfast and she told me all the gossip and how my evil old supervisor is going down in flames already 🤭❤️
#also my replacement is already quitting 🤣#and so is my evil supervisor lol#my coworker i met with was my og supervisor who was nice and ber evil replacement who lied about me is quitting already lmao#she started at the end of september#and it took them a month to replace me so my replacement is leaving after like less than a month lol#also my og supervisor filled in for the new one a few times and she was like wtf there's literally no schedule or safety in this room fr#lollll#i love winning#my other old coworker is probably gonna ask me to come back bc the evil supervisor is leaving tho#but even tho i love the kids idk the new new supervisor and i love my new job and im finally gonna be full time#even tho the old school paid more and would maybe give me a raise to come back#im happier where i am#bc the management at the other school was unhinged tbh#plus they basically chose the new supervisor over me after she'd been there LESS THAN A WEEK#sooo nah <3#tho i would really love to see the kids again tho 🥺💔#but other than that no reason to go back#i was so stressed there allllll of the time#bc the office politics and drama were insane#literally everybody hated everybody and spoke badly abt eachother all the time#and management had it out for all the teachers in my room for some reason#like i worked there 5 months got notbing but glowing praise from all my other coworkers and the parents and then new supervisor lied abt me#and they immediately believed her#i ahad worked there almost 6 months and she had been there for 4.5 days#and she went to her boss's boss and cried abt me bc i told her son no you can't climb up on the table at snack time actually#and she was like omg lizzie is MEAN to the kids my son is going to be TRAUMATIZED by this#like girl......#none of the three other teachers in the room thought i was being mean when it happened girl#or any other time#and tbh my other co teachers were lowkey mean imo 😂
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