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mystique-6 · 9 months ago

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Kinktober (It's really Whumptober) Day 7: Spanking

Summary: Ailis' unresolved trauma is triggered and she takes her feelings of guilt and remorse out on her companions. Astarion makes her pay a price for it.

Hello! My hyperfixation on Astarion has got me in the writing mood so I will be participating in Kinktober using @flightlessangelwings Kinktober list. The pieces may be part of a bigger fic(s). I have started the fic. If you like this please consider checking out my main fic, This is Me Trying. (Can you tell I like Taylor Swift?) Either way, I hope you enjoy. I do plan on completing the 31 prompts though it will take me past October. I also have the fic posted on AO3.

Warning: Anyone under 18 do not interact. Please pay attention to the tag warnings below.

Tag Warnings: Spanking, Light BDSM, Safe, Sane and Consensual, Un-Resoled Trauma, Guilt, Survivor's Guilt, Nudity, Snuggling & Cuddling, Aftercare, Whump, No Sex, NSFW

Additional Note: This fic involves Spawn Astarion. I have stated that some of these prompts will be used in my main BG3 fic, This is Me Trying. This one definitely will be. This is actually a very important chapter for my OC and I saw an opportunity to have a practice run of the chapter. I'm glad I did it because I know now for sure that a flashback chapter will be needed. This ended up being too much exposition. Still, I hope there will be some people who enjoy this fic. If you are reading This is Me Trying and don't want spoilers though, you may want to skip this one.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from BG3.

Ailis felt her headache growing as her group argued over how to rescue the tieflings…again. Two days ago, they’d entered the Shadow-Cursed lands. Earlier this day they’d met a group of Harpers and had helped them in a battle against a batch of shadow monsters. This had gotten them an invite to the Last Light Inn, the final sanctuary left in these lands.

Once there, they’d been revealed as true souls. The leader of this faction of Harpers, Jaheira, had made to attack her group, but thankfully the tiefling child, Mol, had convinced the woman to give them a chance. It was clear now, though, that Jaheira just saw her group as a tactical maneuver. She wanted them to use their status as true souls to infiltrate Moonrise Towers and find a way to kill Kethric Thorm; the person who had taken over these lands.

She didn’t necessarily oppose to looking into Kethric Thorm. He seemed to be involved with the Absolute Cult and they were in desperate need of answers about their tadpoles. Looking into Thorm and getting information on the Absolute and their tadpoles aligned with each other. However, Jaheira also wanted them to go on a rescue mission.

While her team had scouted around the inn on their arrival, they found some of the tieflings they’d helped at the grove. About half of the group was missing. It turned out that the road they had intended to follow to Baldur’s Gate had been destroyed. They had opted to travel above land through all the Shadow-Curse instead of cutting out most of it by going through the Underdark. The group had been attacked by Absolute cultists. Many had been killed or captured, but the rest had found their way here.

Ailis was sympathetic to their plight. She could feel the hopelessness, grief, and guilt from those who remained. She couldn’t stop Rolan’s angry words towards her earlier in the day from playing on repeat in her head. But they had their own problems. They needed to start putting their whole attention on getting rid of these tadpoles.

“This arguing is ridiculous!” Wyll’s shout caught her attention. He made eye contact with her. “Chief, tell this lot we need to save the tieflings first. Thorm can wait.”

“If we go in and bust their prisoners out, we’ll make the cultists hostile towards us and we won’t be able to get the information we need,” Shadowheart protested. “The tieflings have to wait.”

“There are ways around that,” Gale said. “We could use confusion spells or disguise spells. Or we could make it look like the prisoners broke out themselves.”

“That seems like a lot of effort when we can just rescue them after we take care of Thorm,” Shadowheart said.

“I agree with Shadowheart,” Lae’zel said. “Though it pains me to say it.”

“This is getting ridiculous,” Wyll sighed. “Ailis, come on. Set this lot straight.” She felt a surge of anger course through her. She always had to be the one to solve all their problems or play mediator. It was growing tiresome. It was draining her. It was too big of a job with this crew. She could feel her skin crawl with anxiety over the overwhelming job of managing all their egos. Her nerves prickled at their expectant stares.

“Ailis…”

“We don’t have time to be wasting on the tieflings again,” she snapped as her emotions boiled over. A part of her was horrified at what had just spewed from her mouth and her gut roiled with guilt from the shocked and dismayed looks on Karlach’s and Wyll’s faces.

“I’m surprised to hear you say that,” Gale said in a saddened tone.

“As am I,” Lae’zel agreed. “I didn’t think you had it in you to ignore people in need.”

“Oh please,” she said. “I’m hardly a hero.”

“You are to these tieflings,” Karlach stated.

She ignored a fresh stab of guilt and shook her head. “We need to focus on these tadpoles,” she said. “We don’t have time to spend on a group of people who are clearly doomed.”

“Wow,” Shadowheart said. “I would expect that level of callousness from Astarion, but not you.”

“Well, that’s rather rude,” Astarion whined. “I probably would have kept that thought to myself. Probably.”

Ailis sighed. “Look, what happened to the tieflings is tragic, but we need to focus on our own problem,” she said.

“Then it’s settled. We’ll investigate Thorm, and then we can free the tieflings,” Shadowheart said sounding pleased.

“Well, that depends on what we find out about these tadpoles while looking into Thorm,” Ailis replied. “Don’t forget these parasites are time sensitive. At some point we will transform into mindflayers. If we discover that’s going to be sooner rather than later, we won’t have time for the tieflings.”

“You’re seriously saying you don’t want to help the tieflings at all?!” Karlach cried angrily.

“I’m saying, that our tadpole problem is more important right now,” she said.

“I suppose if we take out Thorm, that would make it possible for the Harpers to help the tieflings,” Gale cut in. The wizard was always trying to find the middle ground. He wanted so desperately to be liked. She usually found this endearing, but right now it only fueled her anger.

“I suppose that’s an option if we need to take out Thorm at all,” she muttered. More incredulous looks greeted her.

“If we need to take out Thorm?” Wyll repeated, astonished. “Ailis, have you not paid attention to these realms? Look what the man has done!”

“What he’s done doesn’t concern us,” she argued. “Our focus is getting rid of these tadpoles and if we can do that without spending time killing Thorm, then that’s what we’ll do. End of discussion.”

“I think there’s a lot more to discuss,” Karlach snapped. The floor around her began growing scorch marks.

“Easy now,” Wyll soothed. “There’s no need to get worked up. This is just a disagreement.”

“One that we’ll all work out,” Shadowheart added. Ailis snorted and the cleric glared at her. “And what did that mean?”

“Oh, I just thought what you said was amusing,” Ailis replied. “‘We’ll work it out’ Ha!”

“What are you getting at, Ailis?” Shadowheart snapped.

“I just think it’s cute that you think you all will figure it out,” she replied. “What you really mean is I will figure it out because I am always the one to figure out what we’re doing. I am always the one who manages everyone’s opinions to come up with a solution. I am the one who manages everyone’s ginormous egos!”

“Now, that’s not really being fair,” Gale tried to intervene.

“Fair?” she shrieked. “No! What’s not fair is dumping all your trauma on me and expecting me to deal with it for you.”

“Darling, I think you…”

“Don’t ‘darling’ me,” she snapped at Astarion. “I have to do everything for everyone! And no one ever helps me. No one ever checks in on me to see how I’m doing. So the only one whose opinion matters here is mine. We need to learn about these tadpoles. If that leads us to needing to take out Thorm fine, but if not, our next step is whatever gets rid of these parasites.”

“You’re out of line, Ailis,” Shadowheart growled.

“Now, hold on,” Wyll intervened. “Ailis did make some fair points. We could put more effort into controlling our emotions and…egos. However, Ailis, you are the leader of this group and it’s your job to…”

“Yes, I am the leader and I’m doing my job,” she cut him off. “I’ve told you what we’re going to do. That’s the end of the discussion.”

“So, we just have to do what you say now? Our opinions don’t matter?” Shadowheart scoffed.

“That’s exactly, right,” Ailis replied coolly.

“And if we’re not willing to go along with that?” Shadowheart asked through gritted teeth.

“Then you can leave,” Ailis said. She knew she was going too far, but she couldn’t stop herself. She couldn’t bring herself to back down. The frustration of the last few weeks was bubbling over. Still, her guilt increased at the look of hurt on her companions’ faces.

“You’d really kick out any who disagreed with you?” Lae’zel asked in a tone of surprise.

“Don’t tell me you suddenly disagree with that philosophy,” Ailis replied. “You’d have had me kick out most of this group a few weeks ago.”

“I…”

“You know what? I’m done with this,” Ailis cried. “Whoever decides to join me, meet back here in the morning.” She turned and stormed out of the building. She stalked angrily down to camp and began pacing the rocky shores of the lake nearby. As she paced, she could feel her anger and anxiety turn inwards. She shouldn’t have yelled at them. They didn’t deserve that. She just couldn’t stop thinking of Rolan’s words from earlier that day. He was right.

“You’re going to burn a hole in the ground if you keep pacing like that,” Astarion’s snide voice called out.

Ailis glanced up at him and scowled. “Go away, Astarion,” she said. “I don’t want to talk right now.”

“Yes, I gathered that,” he replied sitting down on a large boulder. “Still, someone needed to check on you.”

“And they decided to send you?” she asked.

“I sent myself,” he replied sounding a little annoyed. A stern look crossed his face when he noticed her look of disbelief. “I’m not completely callous to your well-being, Ailis. I care that something is clearly upsetting you. Why don’t you tell me what it is?”

“You don’t want to know,” Ailis replied bitterly.

“Ah, but I do,” he said. “It must be something big to make you go off like that. Now go on and tell me. It will make you feel better.” She began to pace again.

“You just want me to go back to being complacent,” she grumbled. “You don’t care. You just don’t like it when I’m a bitch, but it’s not my…” She cut off when he stepped in front of her to stop her pacing, and gripped onto her shoulders.

“You’re not a bitch, Ailis. You’re just upset. And yes, I do care,” he said. “If you talk to me about whatever has you so upset, maybe you’ll feel better.”

“I…I can’t,” she replied.

“Yes, you can, darling,” he said. “Just tell me what has you upset. It was what Rolan said, wasn’t it? You’ve looked agitated since that conversation.”

“I can’t tell you. You’ll leave if I tell you. You all will,” she cried, tearing herself out of his grip. She began pacing anxiously again. This time, he didn’t try to stop her.

“No one’s leaving, darling,” he said.

“You would if you knew,” she said. “You’d have never agreed to travel with me if you knew.”

“Well, now I think I have to know,” he said, trying to teaser her to a lighter mood.

“I’m serious, Astarion,” she replied, though she did stop pacing.

Astarion nodded. “I’m sorry, darling,” he said. “Still, I think you better tell me. I think it will help.” She sighed and closed her eyes. She opened them when she felt his arm wrap around her waist, and he led her over to the boulder he’d sat on before. “Here. Sit down here and we’ll talk.” She gathered herself for a moment and stared out at the still water of the lake.

“This isn’t my first time leading a group of people,” she said slowly.

“I gathered that,” Astarion replied. “You lead troops in the Espax War, didn’t you?”

“Yes, and I have plenty of guilt over that, but that’s not what’s bothering me now,” she said, and then glanced up at him. “How much do you know about the Espax War?”

Astarion shook his head. “Nothing,” he replied. “I’d get bits of news when hunting targets, but that’s it. Espax is a long way from Baldur’s Gate.”

Ailis nodded. “The war started as a rebellion against Espax’s government,” she began to explain. “By all accounts, Espax had an incredibly corrupt government. There were two factions running the rebellion. Both wanted to take out the existing government, but their ideas for the future government differed.”

“A recipe for disaster,” Astarion commented.

“Exactly,” she said. “The factions managed to overthrow the original government, but they couldn’t agree with each other enough to build a new one. They began fighting and it turned into a full out war. Both sides began recruiting soldiers, originally from their own people. However, one faction was more popular than the other amongst Espax’s citizens and most went to fight for them.”

“So, the faction you fought under had to resort to other methods of recruitment,” Astarion said.

“By the time I was press-ganged into service most of the people fighting were doing so unwillingly,” Ailis replied. “Even those who had originally joined freely had turned against this faction by that point. They committed horrendous atrocities. Many even said they’d rather have the old government back than continue to support this one.”

“And you led people in attempts to escape?” he asked. “Or overthrow?”

“Escape,” she answered. “When I first got there, I tried to escape on my own. When that didn’t work, I started recruiting others who wanted to leave. There were a few of these attempts. They all ended with many of my group dead or tortured as punishment.” Her hand came up to her face to worry at the deep scar running down her cheek to her jaw. She had a smaller one below her right eye.

Astarion gently moved her hand away from the scar and rested their intwined hands on his lap. “Is that how you got those scars?” he asked. “Trying to escape?”

“Helping someone else to escape,” she said and then smiled bitterly at his incredulous expression. “I had given up trying to escape by the time I got these scars.”

“But you were still helping others to escape?” he questioned.

“Not at first. For a while I just gave up and did what they wanted me to,” she said. “I’d accepted it as a just punishment for my previous crimes. I proved to be a good soldier. After a while they trusted me with training new recruits and then leading small groups in battle. Eventually, I began to form friendships with others there. The two relevant to this story were Nash and Marissa and her three kids…”

“Kids?” Astarion said. He looked surprised.

She nodded. “They recruited anyone they could,” she said. “They’d take criminals being transported to the gallows like I was to travelers just passing through. Many of the travelers had children.”

“Is that what happened to your friend?” he asked.

“No,” she replied. “Marissa was in the war almost from the beginning. Her husband was part of the rebellion and was a supporter of this faction. Marissa had no idea until after he was killed in one of the first skirmishes. The faction blamed her husband for the loss of so many lives in that skirmish and so did a lot of the dead’s’ families. The faction told her if she worked for them, they’d forgive her husband’s failure and keep her and her children safe.

“There was no choice for her. She agreed. She mostly did secretarial work for them. She wasn’t thrown into battle until the last few years when things were growing increasingly desperate,” she explained.

“They started putting the kids into battle, didn’t they?” Astarion guessed.

Ailis nodded. “When I first arrived, all children stayed in camp,” she said. “The older kids kept the barracks in order and watched their younger siblings. But the war wasn’t going well and they couldn’t get enough soldiers. In the penultimate year of the war, they decreed sons that were fourteen or older would be put into battles. They would ‘try and keep them off the frontlines’ they said, but we all knew they’d end up there eventually.

“Marissa was beside herself with worry. Her oldest son was nine months off from fourteen,” she continued. “We all saw the war would be ending soon, but not soon enough for her son. On a night off, me and our other friend, Nash, took her out for drinks to let her vent her worries. She kept repeating that she had to do something. That she couldn’t let this happen to her son.”

Ailis closed her eyes and sighed. “I was the one who suggested escaping,” she said. “Marissa was hesitant about it at first. Punishment for runaways by this point in the war was almost always death, and if they didn’t kill you, they’d make you wish they had.” She worried at her scar again.

“You got her to agree to the attempt though, didn’t you?” Astarion said.

“She came around to the idea,” Ailis said. “She didn’t like it though. It didn’t sit well with her. She didn’t think it was fair that just she and her kids would get out.”

“Why would she care about that?” Astarion asked perplexed. “She should have just worried for herself…and her kids, I guess.” Exasperation and amusement settled across her expression. The vampire spawn’s lack of empathy tended to reveal itself in inopportune times. There was no point admonishing him, though. She’d accepted by this point there were some things Astarion would just never truly understand.

“Marissa wanted to get more people out,” she continued. “After some convincing she got me and Nash on board. Well, she got me on board. Nash only agreed to it because I was going to be involved.”

“You and him were involved?” Astarion asked. She could see he was trying to just sound curious, but she heard a jealous note in his tone.

“We had an arrangement. Like ours, really,” she admitted. “There weren’t any deep feelings. We both got what we wanted out of the other. And Nash wasn’t exactly hard to look at.”

Astarion snorted. “So, did it work?” he asked. “Whatever plan you concocted to free people.”

“For a time,” Ailis said, “but after six or seven months they were cracking down. Nash insisted we had to stop, at least for some time. But Marissa’s son would be turning fourteen in just over a month and there was already talk of lowering the age to thirteen. I insisted that we do one last escape to get Marissa and her kids out.

“Nash didn’t like it but he agreed if it was just Marissa and her kids I led out. The night started like every other escape night, but…it all went wrong,” she said, closing her eyes against the painful memory.

“Nash betrayed you,” Astarion said.

“No. Not Nash,” Ailis said. “The night guard he bribed to ignore anyone he saw escaping. He might not have done so willingly. I’ll never know. They killed him. Guns went off when we breached the camp. We ran off into the woods, but they knew our routes. Marissa and I tried to gather the kids together and come up with an alternate route, but a soldier shot off a gun near us and her little girl ran off frightened right into the open and they…they shot her.”

“Ailis…”

“We went back with them after that,” she continued through her tears. “They brought us to the General’s tent to interrogate us. They wanted to know everyone who was involved in the operation. We did our best to conceal who’d been involved, but in doing so, Marissa incriminated herself by admitting it had been her idea to help families escape. I tried to intervene; to convince them it was all on me. I had the history of escape attempts, not Marissa. All my attempts got me was a knife to the face. They then forced me to watch as they killed Marissa. They killed my friend right in front of me and her remaining children. That was my punishment. They wouldn’t kill me. I was too useful to them.”

“What happened to her two sons?” Astarion asked.

“Nash got them out,” she replied woodenly. “He was high ranking in the army. One of the lead officers had a niece who couldn’t have children. They lived away from the fighting. They weren’t involved at all. They were willing to take them in.”

“Nash couldn’t have done anything for you or Marissa when you were captured?” he asked. She could tell he was judging her old friend.

“No,” she replied, harshly. “He made it very clear from the beginning when we were planning the operation he wouldn’t lose his position for something he thought was foolish. He did what he could for us when we were captured and that’s it. What happened to Marissa and her daughter wasn’t his fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault either, Ailis,” Astarion said. “None of what you’ve just told me was your fault.”

“It was though,” she insisted. “If I hadn’t planted the idea of escape in her mind, Marissa wouldn’t have thought to include other people in it. I should have insisted that night that we would only get her and her kids out. Or I should have caved and agreed with Nash. He had high rank. There were things he could have done to keep her son safe.

“I got Marissa killed. I got her daughter killed. I got all the people from my original escape attempts killed,” she said. “I can’t help the tieflings. I’ll get them killed. I’m going to get everyone killed!”

“Ailis, darling, look at me. Look at me!” he repeated when she turned her face away. She reluctantly turned and met his gaze. He looked very concerned. “Ailis, what happened to your friend and the others was not your fault.”

“It was. I…”

“Did you force them to try and escape?” he asked.

“What?” she cried, confused.

“Did you force them to try and escape?” he repeated. “Did you threaten pain or death if they didn’t follow you? Did you blackmail them into joining you?”

“No!” she cried, appalled. “Of course not!”

“Were they aware of the risks they were taking when they agreed to join you?” he grilled. “Did you tell them the potential consequences?”

“Yes. I drilled it into them what could happen if we failed,” she replied. “Astarion, why…”

“I’m asking you, darling, because I’m trying to understand why you think you’re at fault,” he said. “Based on everything you’re telling me, you only gave everyone an option to join you. You didn’t force them. You let them know the risks so they made informed decisions. I’m failing to see how you bare any responsibility for what happened.”

“I led the attempts. I was responsible for all their lives. I am responsible for their deaths,” she said. “You should leave. You should let the others know what a failure I am and leave. Nothing good will come of following me.”

“I’m not leaving, Ailis,” Astarion said. “And neither is anyone else. If you told the others what you just told me they’d tell you the same thing I am. What happened was not your fault.”

“I was responsible for all of them. That makes it…”

“That does not make it your fault,” he said firmly. He gave her a soft expression and gently wiped tears from her face. “The burden of the failures may be ours, but what happened to those people…that’s not your fault.”

“You’ll feel differently when I get you and our companions killed,” she whispered.

“You’re not going to get us killed, Ailis,” he said. “We’re all getting out of this alive. We’re not like your previous groups. You have a group of skilled individuals with you. You’re not alone in defending everyone. You have us to reply on. Everything is going to be fine.”

“You don’t know that,” she said.

“No, but I have a feeling,” he replied with a smile. She said nothing in return. She just sat there and stared out at the calm waters. He began to massage her scalp, probably hoping to help her relax, but she couldn’t let her failures go.

“Sometimes I think it would have been better if that wagon had reached the gallows,” she said. His hand stopped moving through her hair.

“You really think it would have been better if you had died?” he asked.

“A lot of people would still be alive right now,” she replied.

“You don’t know that,” Astarion said. “They could have died later in the war. They most likely would have.”

“They’re not the only lives I’m responsible for losing,” she said. “Trust me, Astarion. I deserved to be brought to the gallows.”

“You don’t think four years forced into a war that wasn’t yours was punishment enough?” he questioned. “You don’t think your guilt is punishment enough?” She shook her head. “Well, I do.” He stood up and she felt her mood plummet even further. She had wanted to be alone when she came down here, but now it was the last thing she wanted. She couldn’t blame him for wanting to get away from her though. She’d just encouraged him to do exactly that.

He didn’t walk away, though. Instead, he turned back towards her and held out a hand for her to take. “I think I know a way to help ease your guilt,” he said giving her a smile. “Do you trust me enough to give it a try?”

When they’d first met a few weeks ago, she wouldn’t have agreed to anything he proposed. At least not without a detailed breakdown of what he intended. Now though, she took his hand and let him lead her through their camp. She was relieved to find it was still empty. She didn’t want to face her companions yet.

Astarion led her through camp to the abandoned building they’d found. There had been a squabble over it as most of the group had wanted to take up residence there as it had a bed. It was decided that no one would set up permanent camp there. They would use it for group meetings or personal time only. She guessed the latter was what he had in mind now as she looked at the clean sheets that had been put on the bed. She felt a spark of irritation. She should have realized he thought sex would make her feel better. It was the last thing she wanted right now.

Still, she would go along with it. It would be easier than trying to explain why his action was insensitive to her feelings and the argument that would ensue. It wouldn’t be the first time she endured sex to please a man’s ego and it most likely wouldn’t be the last. And Astarion was very skilled in bed. Maybe it would prove a good distraction from her thoughts. As they approached the bed he let go of her hand and then sat down on the edge of it with his feet shoulder length apart. He looked at her with a serious expression.

“Remove your pants and undergarment, Ailis. They get over my lap,” he ordered.

Ailis blinked and stared at him dumbly for a moment. This wasn’t how they usually did this. “I…what?” she said confused.

“You wanted to be punished, didn’t you?” he questioned and her face flushed a hot red as she realized what he intended to do. He smiled wickedly at the sight of her blush. “I do love it when you blush. It’s such a rare occasion.”

“I…I’m not a child,” she protested, though that statement certainly made her feel like one.

“Only children can be spanked?” Astarion replied with a widening grin.

“I…I’ve never…”

“You’ve never received a spanking before?” he questioned, surprised. “Your mother never had you over her knee?”

“My mother didn’t believe in hitting children,” she replied, defensively

“Well, as you’ve just pointed out, you’re not a child,” he said.

“I…” She didn’t finish her statement. She didn’t know what her statement was. She squirmed where she stood and stared at the floor, trying to come up with something to say. Astarion’s feet suddenly came into view, and then she felt his cook fingers caress her chin as he lifted her face so she was looking at him. He brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ears.

“You’re rarely this flustered,” he murmured softly. “What has you concerned?”

“I don’t know what you’re expecting to get out of this,” she said.

“He frowned, puzzled. “Get out of this?” he repeated.

She flushed. “I know some people do this for fun,” she said.

He nodded. “Yes, and you may find you enjoy this, but that’s not the intended purpose of tonight,” he said.

“Then what are you getting out of this?” she persisted. “My pain?”

His eyes widened. “Your pain?” he said shocked. “Ailis, how hard do you think I’m going to hit you?”

“I don’t know!” she cried. “I’ve never done anything like this, except for that Loviatar priest. I don’t know how this works. I know you enjoyed watching that priest strike me.” She expected him to get mad, but he just stared at her thoughtfully for a moment.

“Hold out your wrist, Ailis,” he ordered. Confused, she did as he asked, holding her arm out in front of her with her palm up. His own hand struck her wrist before she even saw it coming. She hissed and drew her arm back, cradling her wrist to her chest. She gazed at him with a shocked expression. His own was perfectly neutral. “Did that hurt?”

“Yes,” she replied in a tone that made it clear she thought he was crazy for asking.

“Is the pain unbearable?” he asked in the same neutral tone.

“No,” she answered, eyebrows furrowed.

“That’s as hard as I intend to spank you, give or take a little,” Astarion said. “I’m not going to beat you black and blue. You’ll be able to sit down tomorrow.”

“But when the priest…”

“I didn’t know you very well when you let the priest beat you. I hadn’t fully decided I trusted you. I thought you must have been into that sort of thing and responded accordingly. I was surprised you never asked me to do anything similar when we began having sex.

“You’re not wrong that I get off on others pain. I’m not going to lie about that,” he said. “But the purpose tonight isn’t the pain. You carry a lot of guilt over your past. I just want to try to help you release some of it. As for what I get out of it, well, control. We don’t have to do this, though, Ailis. I’m not going to do anything to you that you don’t want.” She believed him. Even before she really began to tryst him, she’d trusted him to stop if she asked. He was always attentive of any boundaries set during sex.

“Okay,” she finally agreed. “What do I say if I need you to stop, though?”

“Just say stop,” he told her moving back to his previous position on the bed. She didn’t follow yet.

“Don’t people use specific words for this sort of thing, though” she questioned, “because they might say stop on instinct?”

“Yes. A safe word is usually put in place for that reason. However, due to our personal histories if you say stop, I’m going to take that at face value,” he said. “So don’t tell me to stop, Ailis, unless you really want or need me to, okay?”

She nodded. “Okay,” she agreed.

“All right then. Remove your pants and undergarment and come here,” he ordered pointing to a spot right next to him rather than demanding she get over his lap right away like he had originally. She moved slowly as she completed his orders. A nervous anticipation had her heart racing, and she couldn’t help trembling a little. Astarion noticed and took her hand in his, gently massaging her knuckles with his thumb.

“Are you all right, darling?” he asked, giving her a soft look. “We can stop.”

“No, I’m all right,” she said.

He nodded and his expression turned stern. “Do you understand why you’re being punished?” he asked.

“For failing to save…”

“No,” Astarion said and she gave him a puzzled look.

“You said this was to try to relieve my guilt,” she said.

“It is, but I’m not going to punish you for something that wasn’t your fault or something you already received punishment for,” he said. “Pick something else. Something more recent.”

“I shouldn’t have yelled at our companions,” she said after a moment. “I was being unfair.”

“You certainly were,” he said. “You shouldn’t have taken your problems out on them.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“I know you are. Still, you need to receive punishment for your actions,” he said. “How many times should I spank you? How many have you earned?”

“I…I don’t…” she looked at him helplessly. She had no basis for this. She felt completely lost in the moment. Luckily, he seemed to understand. He gently squeezed her hand in reassurance.

“How about I give you two options, and you choose what works best for you?” he suggested and she nodded her agreement. “Option one: I give you ten harder strikes. Option two: I give you twenty with fifteen being the same strength I slapped your wrist earlier, and the last five a bit harder. Either way, you’re going to be able to sit tomorrow, Ailis.”

Ailis thought about it for a moment. Ten sounded more appealing than twenty. She wouldn’t have to be in an embarrassing position for as long. However, the slap he’d given to her wrist earlier had stung and the skin was still a little pink. The skin on her ass would be even more sensitive. She’d never done this and she wasn’t sure she was comfortable having him hit her any harder. Getting through five hard strikes seemed better than ten and if she couldn’t handle it and had to tell him to stop, she’d have already taken at least sixteen. She’d be able to say she gave it a fair chance.

“Twenty,” she said quietly. He nodded and gave her hand a final squeeze before letting go.

“All right then, darling,” he said. “Get over my lap.” She awkwardly positioned herself over his lap. He helped her maneuver so his one leg helped support her upper torso even as her head hung down just below his knee. She held onto his one knee with one hand and the sheets on the bed with the other. Her ass was completely exposed to him, and she trembled with nerves. She jumped when he placed a hand on the center of her back.

“Try to relax, darling. You’re safe,” he soothed, rubbing her back a little. She took a few deep breaths and slowly felt her muscles relax. “That’s it. Are you ready for me to begin?”

“Y-Yes,” she said. “Do I count them out loud?”

“Hmm, that is an appealing thought,” he said in a teasing tone before growing serious again, “but not tonight. We can examine that possibility another night if you decide you like this or find it helpful. I don’t want to push limits tonight. Now, take one last deep breath for me before I begin.” She did as he said, and the first stroke came as she let the breath out.

She let out a startled squeak. It hurt. It felt worse than the strike to her wrist had. Still, it was not unbearable. She hadn’t quite processed it, when the second strike hit, and then she stopped thinking as he continued to land blow after blow. By the time he struck her ten times she realized she’d made a mistake in choosing twenty strikes. Her skin where he’d hit her felt like it was on fire and the pain was increasing with each strike even though the strike’s strength hadn’t changed yet. When he reached the fifteenth strike her tears finally spilled over and down her cheeks.

He stopped after the fifteenth strike for a moment, but any relief she might have felt vanished when he shifted his leg so the seat of her ass raised to a higher position. She whimpered as she thought of where the last five, harder blows were going to land. He hushed her and comfortingly stroked her back.

“It’s just five more, darling, and then you’ll be done,” he assured her. “Do you think you’re ready to apologize now?”

“Y-Yes. I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” she cried. “I didn’t mean to act like that. I couldn’t stop myself. I…I…I…”

“Shhh. Shh, darling,” he soothed. “Breathe for me.” She tried to do as he said and took big gulps of air in until her breathing found a rhythm again. “Good girl. I’m going to give you the last five strikes now. I want you to try and release your guilt with them, all right?”

She nodded and then the first blow hit and any thought of trying not to cry anymore escaped her. She started sobbing and it took everything in her to not ask him to stop as the next blow hit. She had felt worse pain before than this, but this just felt so intimate. She wanted to bare it for him. Right now, she would do anything for him, so at the last strike, she tried to release some of her guilt.

Astarion helped move her into a sitting position on his lap. He managed to adjust her so her ass was mostly between his thighs so nothing rubbed against her reddened skin. She buried her face in his shoulder and sobbed ash she clutched to him like her life depended on it. She stroked her back and hair and pressed a kiss on the top of her head.

“Shh. It’s all right now, darling. All is forgiven. You’re all right,” he soothed. He repeated a variation of these words until her sobs turned to cries and then to whimpers until finally, she ran out of tears. She rested, slumped against him, feeling more exhausted than she had in her whole life. They sat like that for a few minutes and then she felt his hand slide between her legs and a cool finger split hear seam, running the length of it before brushing over her clit. She let out a shaky gasp.

“What do you think, darling? Based on how wet you are, you seemed to enjoy that. Should we move on to more enjoyable activities?” he asked. She thought about it for a moment. She was surprised to find she had evidence of arousal, but in the back of her mind she’d been aware of a stirring of heat between her legs that was different from the heat on her ass from the spanking.

Still, she shook her head. “No. I’m sorry. I don’t feel up to it,” she said, her resolve to endure it from earlier cracking. She knew he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. “I’m sorry. I know you were planning on having sex tonight, but…”

“It’s all right, Ailis,” he cut her off. “Don’t apologize. We both have to want it, remember?” She smiled and nodded. He moved his hand back to a more acceptable spot on her thigh. “So, what do you want, darling? How are we spending our time tonight?” She opened her mouth with an immediate response but then just as quickly clamped her mouth shut and looked down at her lap. “What’s wrong, Ailis.”

“Nothing,” she said. “It’s just, what I want…you won’t like it. I’m trying to think of something else.”

“Ailis, darling, look at me,” he ordered and she raised her face to meet his eyes. “You’re just tried something very new to you that had you completely out of your element tonight. You’re going to get whatever you want.” He grinned. “Within reason of course. So, tell me, what do you want.”

“I just want to naked cuddle,” she said. “And I want you to stay with me all night.”

Astarion nodded. “Very reasonable,” he said and kissed her forehead. He slid her to sit on the mattress. Her full weight was on her ass though and she felt the skin burn as it brushed against the sheets. She jumped up from the bed and clutched her ass. Astarion laughed and she gave him a hurt look.

“I’m sorry, darling,” he said as he stood up. “The look on your face was just funny, that’s all. Here.” He helped slide her shirt and upper garment off. “Stand there for a moment while I undress and then we’ll get you on the bed comfortably.” He kissed her forehead again and she stood waiting as he quickly undressed. When he was naked, he sat down on the bed and then moved until he was lying down on his back in the middle. He held out his arms for her. “Come here, darling.”

She climbed onto the bed and crawled over to him. He pulled her down so she rested mostly on top of him. Her head rested on his shoulder. She hissed when he pulled the top sheet over them, but the sting only last for a minute. He stroked her back and left gentle kisses to her forehead every few minutes. Her eyelids grew heavy and she felt sleep trying to claim her. She tried to fight it, but Astarion wasn’t having it.

“Go to sleep, darling,” he ordered her gently. “You need to rest.”

“I want you to stay,” she murmured through a yawn. “I’m not going anywhere, Ailis,” he promised. “I’ll be here when you wake up.” She smiled sleepily as he pressed another kiss to her forehead. It was the last thing she felt before sleep finally claimed her.

#bg3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 astarion #bg3 tav

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the-ace-with-spades · 1 year ago

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Still on my Pacific Rim AU brainrot so here we go with the fic idea that's not leaving my head...

Backstory - so, if anyone's seen the Dossier Files I made, you might already know bits of it but:

Everything from Top Gun (1986) except for Goose's death still happened, we just move the event by around 10 years into the future so it was like 1996/7 instead. Kaiju start attacking in 2006, Carole dies in the attack on San Diego, and Mav and Goose become one of the first co-pilots along with Ice and Slider.

Goose dies in Romeo Blue when they're still connected and Mav adopts Bradley (who is 13/14 at the time). He and Ice are married already and Slider, who has another baby on the way, retires from combat after Goose's death, scared that he's going to orphan his kids, too.

Ice and Mav start drifting together and they are The Dream Team™. Obviously, Bradley watches it all as he's being moved from Shatterdome to Shatterdome with the Lucky Seven Team.

He turns seventeen, gets into the Jaeger Academy Program and the whole pulling the papers happens but Bradley is stubborn and a legacy kid so the current Marshal from their Shatterdome (I imagine Viper, maybe?) goes over Mav's head and he gets in and starts attending at eighteen. This made the situation between Brad, Mav, and Ice tense as hell (especially Mav because Bradley knows Ice is too soft to ever tell him no and it was not his initiative) but they still talk

Bradley aces the training and during it, finds his co-pilot, Darcy (OC, obviously). They get the newest Mark-III to pilot, Gipsy Danger and they instantly become The Dream Team™ too. Bradley becomes PPDC's poster boy as the late Bradshaw's kid (no one knows about the Mav and Ice thing...) and Darcy is the youngest pilot to enter the program and one the few Aussie pilots that qualified in the past few years. They're the new duo of the PR team basically and they're sold off as celebrities when they have a win after a win.

They take a year off when Darcy gets pregnant, in reserve in LA, and when they're back to active duty and Knifehead happens and Bradley goes through the exact same thing Mav went through - his co-pilot dies when they're still connected. Darcy's mind never leaves his brain and he can still feel her.

Just before this, Ice gets diagnosed with cancer and stops piloting to basically not die under the neural load. Mav is looking for a new pilot.

Something that would be a big spoiler happens between Mav and Bradley and Bradley leaves PPDC.

Mav and Ice are visiting the training program with the new recruits and Jake, the cocky son of a bastard, challenges Mav to a fight and they accidently find out they're drift compatible. And Jake becomes Mav's new co-pilot for Striker Eureka.

The world goes to shit, Ice is running PPDC as renegades and they're running out of pilots, and after over 4 years, he tracks Bradley down to where he's working as a cargo pilot at the Anti-Kaiju Wall. He doesn't know one thing though - that Bradley has a kid, a three-year-old daughter.

They arrive in Tokyo Shatterdome and Bradley meets Natasha, who, in Ice's mind is a great candidate for his drift partner (and becomes his daughter's favorite very quickly), and Bob, one of the leading upgrade engineers for the re-commissioned Gipsy. And Jake, the biggest ass Bradley's met who has a problem with him even though they've never met before.

Now, Jake is a bigger ass than usually because he had a celebrity crush on Bradley - or rather a Crush with capital C, posters in his bedroom, interviews recorded and saved on his laptop, t-shirts with Gipsy Danger and Jake Bradshaw written in the back of his math notebook included. He had daydreamed about meeting Bradley and impressing him and becoming a co-pilot pair ala Ice and Mav and when he disappeared right before Jake had an opportunity to meet him in Sydney Shatterdome, he was Mad™. It subsided with the years going and the longer Bradley was gone, the more he was becoming PPDC's new poster boy. In Jake's mind, he went from zero to hero and Bradley went from hero to zero.

And then Bradley shows up at his 'Dome and he realizes the crush isn't gone at all and he's Fucking Mad™ about it. And then he discovers Bradley's got a kid.

Some smaller details I might include somehow:

Nat was one of the crew of the Crimson Typhoon up until a year before.

Jake is half-Aussie and the accent switches places with the Texan drawl sometimes (he learned to hold it back because his dad didn't like it when he spoke with his mama's accent). Everyone thinks it's fake but Bradley realizes it's genuine because Darcy was Aussie. (Also, I added this detail because I was struggling to find a reason why Mav and Jake would have an Australian Jaeger as Americans...)

Slider's family (aside from his eldest daughter who is in college) is at the 'Dome with him, including Sara.

Bradley and Darcy's drivesuits were metallic red, now Brad only wears black. Mav and Jake wear metallic green, but it used to be metallic blue when he and Ice were drifting together.

Bradley's daughter had multiple Jaeger Plushies and ironically, her favorite is Striker Eureka because it has a dog in the decal and 'has a funny name and funny face'

When Bradley leaves, he leaves his dog with Mav and Ice (one he got when he was seventeen) and when Jake moves to the 'Dome, he basically announces the dog is now his, not Mav's, because he likes Jake better (I still don't know what dog breed, tho?? I'm hanging onto a beagle/miniature german shepherd atm)

Sara's and Ice's names are spelled this way (Sara and Tomasz) because that's how they'd be spelled if they were Polish.

Bradley carries a boombox into the jaeger every time he rides - uses his dad's and mom's cassette tapes. He's also got a couple of walkmans and his daughter her own too - decorated with stickers and glitter.

Things bordering on spoiler-y + additional dossier for Darcy and Brad's medical report under the cut:

The shit that happened between Mav and Brad was that Ice had the idea that hey, maybe you could drift together, and they could, really well at that, Mav just...didn't react well? It ended with them almost blowing up Lucky Seven and Ice erased the records so no one knew the details. They both said some shit and Bradley decided he's never trusting Mav again and he's got nothing holding him in the PPDC.

Bradley and Nat are compatible, they're actually really compatible for a pair of people who are not related/never met before, but Bob is going to be Nat's co-pilot, and Bradlye and Jake will ride together, is all I'm saying.

The mockup files not included in the previous post (with a small cameo from Penny):

Text in ALTs

(also, going to tag you here, @redfurrycat, because I thought you might like it 👉👈)

#dunno if I'll ever write it (i want to at least finish planning the fic and write the dialogue before I post the first chapter)#so here it is #also the funniest thing about this fic is my brain decided that the background track for writing this au is entirely doja cat #so i'm writting heartfelt scenes listening to paint the town red or get into it yuh #hangster pacific rim au #hangster #icemav as background #tgm

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einsatzzz · 7 days ago

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KHRe Projects Updates #2

Making another update post because OCtober is over, yippeee!! I'm very proud of the art I've done this month and I think it's also the most I've drawn for an OCtober event. I hope next year I'll be able to draw even more and maybe even complete all 30 days.

And with that out of the way, I'll be jumping back into working 100% on my projects. I'll post less art this month (save for asks if inspo strikes) because I'll be working on them behind the scenes, so I'll mostly be an OC supporter this month and just catch up on everyone's OC stuff that I missed whenever I have a chill time hehehe

Anyway, here's my progress on them so far!

Wiki: I plan on doing a lot of major edits on the wiki this time. I have a few that's already just sitting by on the sandbox pages already. I'll do them topic by topic/page by page, so whenever I make a major update, I'll do a post about it here (or maybe a summary of wiki updates if it's way scattered).

Planned updates this month include adding pages for Yui and then Tsuna (if possible Reborn too! I know they're a package, I'll do my best lmao please don't shoot me, Reborn!). I also plan to add another section under Relationships > Appellations for KHRe-Occurence interactions!

Webcomic: We are so back on this one! For now my initial draft of the chapter order in terms of character debut is more or less finalized. For this first part, I decided to just cover character introductions/focus chapters for now, which I estimate to last for about 12-13 chapters (covering for 15 characters, mix of canon and OC).

I should be able to figure out where to go from that point while drawing chapters 1-13! Daily Life Arc is so important to me, I'm not skipping the good shit 😆💖✨ But I already do have a few more Daily Life Arcs in mind after that and a few mini-arcs.

In terms of assets, I'm just thankful I even managed to put together some 3d assets/references I can use for Namichuu. I also more or less have the whole school mapped. I'll be putting this information in the wiki as well, in case anyone wants to make use of it too. Now I kind of want to make a rough draft of a Namimori map hahaha

Because of this, that scene with Ryohei convincing Hibari to do the trial in the Arco Trials Arc became even more funnier to me lmao 🤣🤣

For target release, if we're just talking about Chapter 1 then definitely this November is doable. But then I lowkey want to get ahead till to around Chapter 3-5 too! I'll think about it more!

My even bigger stupidass problem is I also want to draw a webcomic that's Oniyanagi 1st Gen-centric, but I only have two hands so sjhfshvfgs Making comics is so fun ok??!! I just don't have enough time lmao

For the artstyle, I decided to just use the same brush for the comic I did with Kana and Myell's Entity. The edges for that are smooth enough while still having a pencil-like feel to it, so coloring with the paint bucket tool would be easier. I considered using the pencil brush I'm using for rough sketches right now because I'm faster with those, but yeah, the coloring. I'll also be doing a mostly "Don't look back, just keep drawing" approach, so I don't take 100 years for chapter 1. It won't be 100% clean, but maybe just decently not messy enough? Anyway, I'm still thinking of other ways to be faster at drawing, aside from just increasing my overall stamina 😭😭😭 (I get tired so easily). Time to start lifting Ein! 💪✨

In addition to the main story, watch out for any new KHRe-OCcurrence chapters that I might drop in between 🥰🥰🥰

MV: I'm working on 📺MV and should also finish it within 2-3 months while working on my other stuff (2 weeks if I mentally zoom in & obsess over it somehow). I have the vivid storyboard for the entire thing laid out in my brain now. I think finishing this will hype me up more to draw more webcomic stuff hahahaha You'll know when you see it.

✦•····································•✦•····································•✦

Projects aside, I'll be resuming posting my other commissioned art here again yippeee!! I'm just really super thankful there are people who like my original stuff and interact with me here sfhdvhfvsvf and on the flipside, I'm also super thankful that people share their original stuff with me as well (or at least where I can see!). It takes a lot of courage to share your original works out in public, so it's practically SSR-rank content for me.

I have a few oc-related project/posts (even if it's not khr-related) that I have bookmarked as well, I'll do my best to check them out this month as well! Seeing other people with projects also hypes me up and inspires me, so the more the better! fhsvdfhgvhgdfvds Honestly, this small corner of the internet/tumblr that we have going on is kind of like a comfort place for me now, love ya'll ! 🫶🫶🫶

#einproject #khre #einart #2024 is legit the year I drew the most art ever since I started drawing in around 2010s #im so quiet irl #but keep on yapping and yapping here #im so happy i have this project tag to ramble about my progress whew #reborn pls don't shoot me it will be done soon please!!! sdjhvfhsgdf

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justatalkingface · 1 year ago

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what's your opinion on the big 3? When I was hyperfoxed on this series they were the thing I care Abt the most (I enjoyed season 4, obv I'd change some stuff now but I still remember it being atleast ok)

I hate how dirty they did my girl nejire, as far as I'm aware they didn't even do anything with her after the whole pagent thing she just got a small backstory about how she was sad (don't know all of it I haven't been keeping up that well w the manga)

mirios not having a quirky and having to save eri (a girl who I can't imagine would be that skilled at the age she is and has been training on lizards to give his quirk back all together, I'd imagine it taking a few more months but bnhas time is shit so) and coming back in the war arc to punch one person and then basically do noting iicr

The only decently written one was amajiki, I wish they had more going on I think they have a fun dynamic (w them helping taking care of eri and me rlly liking idk what it's called but I love the fluff it brings) :(

Lots of mixed feelings, in all honesty. Lots of mixed feelings.

I'll admit, a big part of my mixed feelings about them is they showed up as the latest, 'Stomp on Izuku's everything' at the point in the story where it was becoming obvious that there was always something stomping on Izuku, and that gave me a bad first impression on them I've never been able to shake... which isn't helped by how they're connected to the clusterfuck of Nighteye, of all people, which is kind of my whole thing with Mirio (warning; I am biased):

As a person, he's obviously nice, but as a character, basiclly his entire reason for existing was, 'give Izuku an existential crisis' and I don't think I've ever forgiven him for that, really. His entire character is just bigger, stronger, older, happier, more capable, more confident, more successful, more loved Izuku, who had a Quirk his whole life and only had to dig deep to find out how strong it, and he, was all along.

Unironically. It's....

It's a really bad look, to be blunt; he feels kind of like a bad fanfiction character written by a bad writer who wanted to put their super special OC in the story, except he's canon.

Since we've never seen him even think something unheroic, there's really nothing that distinguishes him from that impression factual statement, which, again, makes it hard for me to give a shit about him, or even remember him... which is a problem Hori seems to share, lol. It doesn't help that I loathe Sir Nighteye and that most of his development time is spent admiring him, to boot, and that his parts of the story are either empty or focused on a living plot device I can't quite like no matter how hard I try because of how blatant the emotional manipulation is about the biggest story breaking, SOD shattering plot device until Stars and Stripes showed up.

If he ever got any kind of development to flesh him out a human being rather than being either Izuku and/or a heroic archetype, it'd help, but beyond all of that his biggest personality trait is liking jokes, and that barely even comes up. Or, rather, considering both the Final Arc and his response to Bakugou's name, along with Nighteye's own tendencies, 'jokes', maybe.

He doesn't deserve it, I admit it, it's not his fault, but I just can't get past that. He also doesn't deserve to just be forgotten until his big moment of a butt joke, but... MHA, everyone. In all honesty, I'd just like him better if his entire story arc didn't exist in and as some of the worst parts of the Overhaul arc, but he's tainted by that fact.

I freely admit that I am unfairly biased against him, so take all of that with a mountain of salt.

As a side note though, god, the story doesn't seem to realize how badly Nighteye is using the poor kid; Mirio thinks Nighteye is training him because he's worthy, while Nighteye mainly seems to be doing it because he's the closest thing to an All Might clone he can get, bar him actually cloning All Might, even if he grew to like him for who he is. I'm not sure Nighteye ever thought of Mirio with just his Quirk as anything more than a temporary situation; even at the start of canon, when on his own merits he's rising to fame with how successful he is, Nighteye's overall focus is still about getting AFO into the kid.

I almost wish I could see Nighteye explaining how all of his training came down to getting All Might's Quirk, just to see MIrio react and tear Nighteye down a peg about it, except Hori's history of handling these kinds of things means he'd never be allowed to be properly offended on his own behalf, the poor bastard.

Moving on, Tamaki. Out of all of them, he's had the biggest of an on-screen story arc, and in a intellectual way his Quirk is easily the most interesting. Unfortunately, while he has a personality, it feels so bland at times that he's far easier to remember for his Quirk than who he is.

I liked his story, really, but at the time it was overshadowed by Mirio and his everything, and by the time he showed back up it was clear how irrelevant it and he was, so it was more about how (admittedly, very) cool he get his Quirk to be than it was about him, and with some brutal honesty, it's probably because his Quirk is so interesting that he even got that much focus beyond that initial arc by Hori.

And... Nejirie.

In a combat sense she's easily the best of them, really; Mirio is almost purely defensive, which limits him (especially if he's not surprising someone with it) while Tamaki's Quirk, while flexible, is so conditional in ways that can easily hold him back (we only ever see him fight with full preparation; if he's not gearing for a fight he'd be easy to ambush), and like a lot of things in the Final Arc, his big laser canon thing is.... questionable.

Nejirie, though, is just simply powerful. In a setting where everyone has one power and one main application of that power, where you either fly or blast things, but not both, she's the closest I've seen to a 'traditional' super hero, like you'd see in Marvel or DC.

At the same time, though, out of the three of them she least has a story, for obvious reasons, and it's a disgrace, really. If Hori had just spent some time on her, on the her backstory that apparently exists (yeah, I'm not sure where that is either), she could have been so interesting... but really, all she is is the Girl Teammate. Her personality traits are The Girl Teammate's personality traits. She's just The Girl Teammate stamped over all of the interesting stuff, and it's such a waste, it really is.

And finally, as a unit? The Big Three is a shiny toy that Hori forgot in the corner somewhere as soon as he got bored with it. He spent a few minutes oohing and aahing over them, focusing really hard on developing interesting powers, how they could be used, and how strong they were, only to start to lose interest as soon as those powers were established, and he was writing the three of them off before their introductory arc was even over.

#ask #bnha critical #mha critical #nighteye critical #izuku deserves better #my deeply conflicted feelings on Mirio's everything #he doesn't deserve it but still #he's the true victim of the Overhaul arc #i hate nighteye ever so much #hori's chronic hatred of women #the big three is big wasted potential

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illarian-rambling · 7 months ago

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Thanks for the tag @elsie-writes!

OC in 15

Hmm, who am I gonna do... How about Mashal?

“I suppose cloud-watching isn’t for everyone."

“Wait, is siren music only siren music if it’s performed and written by a siren, or is it, like, its own genre at this point?”

“No, I think we have bigger things to focus on right now. And I though I don’t remember what pig shit smells like, I’m pretty keen on keeping it that way.”

“I thought I might know how to do it on muscle memory, but I guess not.”

“I’m optimistic. It’ll probably only take a few minutes to get this whole affair over and done with!”

“Go back to sleep. It’s just the wind.”

“Huh, alright. Whenever people call me 'it,' I feel like an object. Like I’m not really alive.”

“I don’t have my papers. My friend and I have been pretending I’m non-sentient so that we could both get a job here. Please don’t tell anyone.”

"Ask your heart. Can you kill this man? Are you willing to buy that death with your own?”

“Say…. I was trying to remember from the other day, what was that riddle you told me? The one your dad taught to you.”

“I don’t know what you are. But you can bleed, and all things that bleed can die. You’ve got one chance to answer me honestly and completely, wretch. What did you do with Astra?”

"Did I look like him? So reserved, so… refined. Did I have his chin or his nose?"

“Then that confidence has to be yours. It’s all you—you just need to realize how far you’ve come.”

“Please, Elsind, I’m begging you to think about this. You’re playing judge, jury, and executioner for a man you’ve never met. There’s real evil out there. Evil that isn’t a representation of a systemic problem.”

“You’re nothing like her.”

I'll tag @sergeantnarwhalwrites @dyrewrites @melodicwriter @elizaellwrites and open tag :)

#writing #writerscommunity #writblr #my ocs #oc in fifteen

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riddlerosehearts · 8 months ago

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Okay now EYE must ask you - how are you liking BG3??? How far are you?? Tell me about your Tav!!!! (Please and thank you <3)

hi!! 💖 i only started the game a few days ago and it was an impulse decision i made after having previously told a friend of mine that i definitely wanted to play it but that it'd probably take me a while to get around to it (and, because i thought i wouldn't play anytime soon i hadn't really been trying to avoid spoilers). but, i have the PC version and while it generally runs just fine, my computer is kind of slow and the game is so big that it took hours to download and install. so i kind of went ahead and started to come up with a whole character idea during that time LOL. sorry if my explanations of things get a bit too rambly/disorganized. i'm actually not very far in the game at all yet, i've been spending a ton of time doing stuff in the druids grove and i'm supposed to go find halsin but i haven't even gotten karlach in my party yet! i've recruited all the main companions except for her but i am excited to meet her. gonna put the rest of this under a cut for length.

my only background with DND is that i listened to the first campaign of the adventure zone and i've watched the legends of vox machina show. i also have a friend who's super into her own DND campaign and another friend who's told me a lot about dimension 20, specifically fantasy high--and i've considered trying it out for her but haven't gotten around to it yet! i think she actually told me the same thing about the episode lengths making it easier to get into than critical role, because i had tried critical role and it was just so long that i couldn't stick with it. but, yeah, i've also looked at the forgotten realms wiki a bit but i've never actually played DND. i have played skyrim and final fantasy 14 and some other similar RPGs with customizable blank-slate protagonists, and in those types of games i always have to make OCs to roleplay as--usually i'll think up a basic idea to start with and then flesh the character out as i get into the game. they're never really self-inserts but i do often project onto them a little.

so, in games like these my first character is usually an elf that specializes in elemental/destructive magic. idk why, that's just what i've always liked. in ff14 i started out as a black mage without knowing it was the hardest class to play LMAO. soooo i went into this planning to create a high elf sorcerer, but as i started writing out ideas and thinking about what to do, i ended up creating a half-high elf bard. they're transmasc/nonbinary and in my head they use he/they pronouns, but i picked the nb option in the character creator and that causes npcs to actually use they/them in dialogue which i think is so cool. i love that the character creator is so inclusive in regards to gender.

anyway, i named them elenion, which is something i took from the lord of the rings universe because i'm a huge nerd. in LOTR it's an elvish word that basically means "of the stars". here's a couple screenshots i took when i first started. let's just ignore the fact that this hairstyle clips into elf ears (and also that the face preset is from a mod i downloaded).

i didn't really give him a tragic backstory or even the most interesting story haha--i'm wanting to do something bigger and angstier with another character on a second playthrough when i'm more familiar with the lore and world of the game. and i'll probably also end up changing or expanding on some things about this character later, but for now i just kind of made a normal guy with normal problems. i had this idea that his father, a human who attracted the attention of a beautiful elf woman, was also a bard and was a very successful musician in his youth. so elenion has always shared his father's passion and dreamed of being like him, being able to effortlessly tell incredible tales and inspire crowds of people through song, but no matter how much he studies and practices he never feels good enough. if he seems confident it's usually just because he's gotten really good at faking it. he's also pretty reserved and often avoids having to talk about himself by asking a lot of questions. see, i kind of wanted to specifically find a way to not roleplay the usual sort of loud, flirty, goofy bard, lol. not that i dislike those kinds of characters or anything though!

however, bards are meant to be super charismatic, witty, and persuasive and of course the game strongly encourages that with the dialogue options and skill bonuses you get. so my way of explaining this is to have elenion be a bit like raine from the owl house, in that they may be shy, but they're very firm in their ideals and are no pushover when it comes to protecting themself or their allies. they're clever and have a snarky side to them, and they're genuinely friendly and caring in a way that gives them a sense of quiet charisma. which reminds me that one of the spells i gave them at the start was sleep, and it's made me imagine that when they were a kid they tried calming a crying baby by playing a lullaby on their lute and accidentally ended up casting their first spell.

oh, and, i also wasn't really sure at first where in the world i wanted elenion to come from but i decided on something pretty quickly after getting multiple of those dialogue options suggesting that the protagonist is baldurian! i pictured them growing up in a somewhat small town with their family but moving to baldur's gate as an adult, hoping that if they left the comfort of their home and started to journey out into the world a little they'd eventually find their spark and become the bard they wanted to be. unfortunately they've had little luck so far because even after all this time they can't see that maybe their whole fixation on trying to be just like their father and achieve the exact same kind of success that he had is holding them back. the fact that their father died the year after they moved away hasn't helped either. and now, in the middle of traveling to a historical site that they'd wanted to see in person and use as inspiration for a song, they've been abducted by mindflayers and are struggling with the massive upheaval that this has brought into their relatively mundane life.

so. yeah. my tav for this first playthrough may not be the most unique or exciting character but i like him! i like figuring out what kind of choices he'll make and thinking up new ideas for what he likes and how he sees the world. also, i find it funny how in your reply to my ask you said you thought you'd be into gale but then you fell for astarion--because i thought that i'd be all over the edgy, brooding, snarky vampire man, but it turns out gale is so charming and funny that i'm probably going to romance him first. i'm also pretty intrigued by shadowheart and wyll but i'm so early in the game that i can't even say who i think my overall favorite companion will be because they all seem so interesting!! even karlach despite the fact that i haven't actually met her yet, i've seen a bunch of cool gifsets of her and my brother told me he's been romancing her on his playthrough. i really need to go find her soon.

i'm sure you can tell from everything i wrote here that i am definitely enjoying the game LOL. i can already tell that there's just so many different things to do and see, that i will both need and want to do a lot of different playthroughs and that it's going to be something that sticks with me. nothing wrong with using guides and walkthroughs btw! i do it too because i'm worried about missing too many things and have the world's worst sense of direction even with a minimap. honestly i probably need to look up some guides for certain mechanics that i don't feel like i've really figured out yet. there's a sarcophagus trap in the ruins early in the game that got me SO stuck and got my whole party wiped and then i looked up a video and found out you could turn off the whole trap system by pushing a switch... i felt so stupid askjdfgf.

anyway, i think this got to be way too long of a reply so i will stop here! but if you ever wanna tell me more about your tav or anything definitely feel free to and i hope you're having an awesome day!

#asks #nerdalmighty #i hope all of this actually makes some kind of sense lol #i'm really not a great writer but i just think coming up with OCs with fleshed out personalities #and trying to get into their heads makes games like this more fun #and also ty for the ask!! 💖#baldur's gate 3

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deadrlngers · 1 year ago

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OC TAG GAME.

i was tagged by @aragorngf and @devilbrakers to categorize some ocs and use this picrew, thank you so much ily both <3

i'm tagging: @uldwynsovs @nuclearstorms @morvaris @reaperkiller @risingsh0t @florbelles @nuwanders @nokstella @faarkas @indorilnerevarine @malefiicarum @katsigian @swanfey @necroticpetals @saintjudegf @denerims @shadowglens and all the ppl i probably forgot or that want to do this!!

-- FAVORITE OC.

vesper moxley + fenix hayes — cp2077

just started and already cheating sorry. listen. i said this multiple times already but in my mind they're literally a package deal, buy one take two. if you ever spent 5 minutes talking to me or looking at my blog you know they literally live in my mind jdfnkds i've gave them infinite amounts of love, care and attention. i'll be honest, i was going to put only fenix here at first (which is crazy that an oc that was supposed to be just a backstory plot point came this far, i've poured into him too much of what's home to me that now he took the shape of my walls, my bad). but. look at that picrew of vesper..SHE'S SO CUTE I'M SO IN LOVE WITH HER <3

-- NEWEST OC.

maverick de soto — infamous if

maverick maeve mav rick eve, i gave them so many nicknames already and we're still are like, at the start of the whole if. they are a cunt, they would rather jump off a cliff than admit when they're wrong, she loves fights and antagonizing whoever falls in their trap..and they love their friends more than anything. i can't wait to see the if unfold because i love maeve SO much already!!

-- OLDEST OC.

selene — oblivion

not counting my characters from original works, selene is the oldest oc i have. i've played oblivion lots of times and she (for the most part) always been there with changes through the years. i went off with the moon as a concept for her, "she's a dreamer from the moon" is a line that always makes me think of her. selene is the unwilling hero, the one that got dragged into smth bigger than herself and slowly, since she had no choice, took the shape of the role they imposed on her. she found a mirage of a home for a little while, only for that to be taken away from her. it's truly not worth it to be a hero, huh?

-- MEANEST OC.

violante waesphine — baldur's gate 3

a difficult battle between vio, akira & zefyr but in the end i went for vio. saying "mean" is an understatement. 'a rose born among thorns'..well she's a thorn born among thorns. it's difficult for me to speak of vio at times, she's more of a concept than a person, more of a numb soldier than the one in charge of her own life. an assasin and a pawn in the hands of a patron, melancholy and remambrance, her life is like a long walk to the gallows and while she's walking that path she has full intention of making it everyone's problem

-- SOFTEST OC.

joelle knight — fallout 4

this one made me realise how i barely have 'soft' ocs jklfds. easy sweep for joelle!! she had her whole life ahead of her with her wife & the son they just adopted, she looked at the future with exctiment until everything was taken away from her. joelle could've let the pain harden her heart but she didn't let that happen. joelle strives to help the people and what's left of the world she knew, she's a cutie who will listen to you talk for hours and crack stupid jokes to see you smile. her 'soft' nature doesn't make her naive so caution is still advised if you try to fool her!!

-- MOST ALOOF/STANDOFFISH OC.

zefyr — baldur's gate 3/d&d

i love zefyr madly. MADLY i say. they are a powerful draconic bloodline sorcerer that values their privacy AND peace more than anything else. zefyr lives as a hermit in a forest where they can fully concentrate on their studies of the arcane & such. they do not trust easily (or at all) and their guard is always up. you probably won't get more than a few words from them (unless you ask them about magic and power and such), they just want to be left alone u know? they are known as the ashen terror and not only for their hair color: ashes and fire are the only things they leave behind if you dare anger them!! also they are pink. if pink why evil, they're probably just misunderstood..

-- DUMBEST (AFFECTIONATE) OC.

hiraeth one-eye — skyrim

hate to do this to hiraeth so much fkjdsfnk..i wouldn't say they are dumb, but they surely prefer a good swing of their greatsword as a solution to any other more complicated response. they're super friendly, they love music, reading, chickens and dragons and they would risk it all for the people they love!! also they're extremely dangerous so don't let the big smile fool you. they value honor over anything else and they just can't let go of their father's death ://

-- SMARTEST OC.

sibylla — skyrim

you had a dumbest dovahkiin, now have a smartest ex-dragon priest!! a tie between her and joelle but since joy had her shot already, it's sibylla's turn. formely known as vennesetiid (=the winds of time/destiny), sibylla was a breton born during the middle of the merethic era that joined the ranks of the dragon priests for the simple desire of power, and knowledge. she later betrayed her dragon lords and joined forces to defeated them but lost her life during the battle. but it's not over for her!! a silly little situation makes her come back to walk Tamriel's land, this time as a vampire. sibylla has been alive for centuries and centuries and spent all that time studying the arcane and magic and science as well and working to become the most powerful mage that ever lived (lived..kind of). she saw most of the world's history & legends say she had the power to see the future & she's the proud achiver of the first ever gender transition in tamriel, if you don't love her already you better start

-- OC I WOULD BE BEST FRIENDS WITH.

moira velez — fallout new vegas

beside the fact that i love her beyond human comprehension, moira is funny, adventurous, stupid in a good sense as in you can do whatever crazy thing you think of with her, she's an enabler and i think we would have lots of fun together, she's the positive kind of friend that can lift you up from anything when you need it. plus her and my best friend's nv oc are besties so it's like we're all besties to each other!! hehe <3

#feel free to ignore this i'm a bit nervous to tag ppl i haven't done a tag game in ages sjfdksf #tag games #thank you sm again!!! i had so much fun doing this <3 #don't look too much at fenix's picrew. that's not him sooooo bad. he would not say that but it's he would not look like that #also idk how the banners came out this cute..i might just make these for all of my ocs..#oc: vesper #oc: fenix #oc: maverick #oc: selene #oc: violante #oc: joelle #oc: zefyr #oc: hiraeth #oc: sibylla #oc: moira

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actuallycassidyiambusy · 4 months ago

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Heeeeyy it's me again lol the one that likes to ask about ur original work🥺 I asked about ur fav OC to write and now I'm really curious tbh

This Blake guy has my attention and I'd love to know a lil more about him and Zeke? (I think thts the name) U mentioned that Blake is a demon soooo is there an age gap between them👀 also I'd love to see more art of them!

Maybe a little sneak peek of a chapter with them in it? I hope I'm not asking too much I'm just really interested 🙇🏼

You are not asking too much at all! I LOVE talking about my ocs lol I just don't unless asked because I don't wanna be annoying 🥹 I may post a chapter with them later on, but for now I'll share some more art I've done lately as well as a little ✨𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖊✨

Blake and Zeke are prime examples of supporting characters who immediately grab attention from the mcs. And I am 100% okay with that because they are literally my faves.

Blake is in the series from the very start. He could technically be considered a main character because of how important his role is in the whole series. He's morally grey and it's very hard to tell what he's gonna do next. Like I said in the last post, he's the leader of a gang he formed in NY, and expanded all over the country.

Blake is a black blooded demon but he's not hellborn. He was killed as a young adult and turned into a demon by someone I cannot name lol

Blake is easily 120 years old.

Zeke, on the other hand, is a 21 year old half-demon who cannot shut the fuck up or follow orders to save his own life. He's a brat in every sense of the word that nobody has been able to handle. His relationships are fleeting because he's an ass and he's unpredictable.

Meeting Blake is the best and the worst thing that has ever happened to him. Right from the start, Blake handles Zeke in a way no one else has managed to do. Zeke opens his mouth and speaks wrong, he's on the ground. However, he likes it that way. It makes him melt that someone can manage to stick around despite his behavior issues. It also scares him because the one person who can make him obey is also allergic to commitment and can be a flight risk. Neither of them like to communicate their feelings properly. Both of them have been hurt in their own way.

Their dynamic is very toxic and sometimes unsettling, but both of them prefer it that way. They don't like boring and they don't like vanilla. They both have major attitude problems and they deal with each other very aggressively.

But they find common ground. Despite being turned off by commitment, both of them are extremely possessive. To the point of violence some days. Their personalities are similar in ways of sense of humor, pervertedness and ego. Blake is much stronger than Zeke, but that won't stop the blond from throwing hands when he gets frustrated. Both of them can fight incredibly well.

Blake is 6'6" and Zeke is 6'3"

They're both fairly tall and both have noticable muscle tone. Blake is a bit bigger and a hell of a lot badder. While it's miniscule, they don't lack empathy. They have the capacity to feel for others and for each other, they just like to overshadow it with anger and narcissism. Neither of them know how to stay out of trouble,

but Blake is more organized and he has a lot of people in his pocket. Including police officers. Blake is smarter and more efficient and the only times he gets caught is when Zeke is fucking involved. There are times when Blake gets let go, but he'll leave Zeke to think about his actions inside a cell for the night.

They cuss at each other, scream, throw punches and break shit. Zeke has been sent through tables and fences. He's been thrown out of Blake's moving car. But he keeps coming back because Blake will still protect him and patch him up. Blake doesn't try to tame or change Zeke. He takes the issues on the chin and fights back. And the sex is insane. Zeke used to consider himself strictly a top until he met Blake and he won't bottom for anyone else but Blake.

Blake won't bottom for a damn soul, but he doesn't mind letting Zeke be dominant when the blond feels like it. There really isn't much off of the table for these two assholes. Zeke sometimes gets insecure because he's not a "feminine bottom" but Blake doesn't give a shit. He'd rather have Zeke just the way he is and he'll backhand Zeke if he catches the blond talking bad about himself. Their ways of showing they care aren't exactly "conventional" or "healthy", but it gets the point across pretty well. They are constantly splattered in each other's blood.

They can't kill each other, but they have a lot of fun trying❤️‍🔥

#ask inbox #anon ask #answered #original charater art #original characters #book series #from my book series #my art #my characters #Blake Stahller #Zeke #Helpless series #art #artists on tumblr

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eighthdoctor · 1 year ago

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Hmm. Is Tess Romeo and Juliet-ing with a Forsaken?

Ah balls, that’s bad writing on my part. No, Tess is very happily shagging Lorna Crowley, this being another thing Genn doesn’t know anything about.

I know where you got that impression:

It’s a desperate, last ditch argument, surely nothing Tess intended to work—but it does. Why Tess cares so deeply for the Forsaken can be an issue for another day.

Now, the problem here was that I had to do the scene from Tyrande’s POV—she’s the one shifting positions and it’s her train of thought we need to see—but Tyrande is just beyond overwhelmed and frazzled, and does not care about Tess’s internal drama. She’s got bigger things to care about. So she doesn’t stop to think about it, doesn’t dig into why Tess is there, isn’t interested in putting the pieces together.

There’s two things, one of which is immediately relevant to the situation, and the other was longer ago.

So the first thing is Lilian Voss. Forsaken can cry, Tess knew this, but Lilian? Lilian doesn’t cry. Lilian doesn’t have breakdowns. Lilian did atrocities in life, processed this, moved on—or didn’t—and doesn’t…show it.

So picture the sewers of Dalaran, the Uncrowned holding their meetings, and out of eyesight, Lilian is having a breakdown. Shei s completely devastated in a corner, in another corridor, out of sight, but—what’s coming is unavoidable, the Forsaken cannot survive without assistance and who wants to help the Banshee Queen’s people, even if it didn’t indirectly help Sylvanas? Lilian knows the most likely outcome here is the eradication of the Forsaken.

There’s nothing she can do, there’s no way to fix it, she just needs—she doesn’t need to breathe but she does, she doesn’t need to cry but she does.

So: Meltdown.

And the Uncrowned notice it, and all of the very good realpolitik reasons to save or condemn Sylvanas, whatever, because that’s a wholeass people that are going to get wiped out for absolutely nothing.

That’s reason one. The Uncrowned get involved because Lilian Voss had a sobbing breakdown, which does not happen and has never happened before.

Reason two is one of @mylordshesacactus’s OCs, Talet. Talet’s a worgen, Talet’s got a whole backstory, a whole drama, to which the takeaway here is that Talet feels an enormous empathy for the Forsaken as people turned into something they didn’t want, didn’t ask for, and couldn’t do anything about—and then abandoned and persecuted by the survivors.

There is, in Interlude 3, a movement to save as many Forsaken as possible, and Talet’s in the thick of that, and Tess knows this.

Tess knows that the Forsaken didn’t do anything to deserve what happened to them—what individuals did later is a different problem, but the Forsaken? The Forsaken and worgen share a trauma. Tess knows this, and so when she hears Lilian—she’s gotta go talk to someone.

No star crossed lovers, just some understanding and a big heart.

#asks for ts #deloxdd #the power to manipulate belief

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satohqbanana · 7 months ago

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Here's another attempt on how I will tackle AV2 characters in my story, "The Prince and the Witch", which is a slight AU sequel to the events of Ean's Quest. While the story focuses on Nicolas and an OC, but this post details the way I will handle the main party!

IMPORTANT NOTE: I'm aware that the AV universe is supposed to have a feminist and matriarchal flavor to it. However, there are still integral parts of it that make me feel like it wasn't able to completely discard some male-dominant views. Since certain gimmicks and characterizations do rely on it, here I chose to still consider that side of AV.

Ean

He's just a Regular Guy TM in the Vale. He's had a pretty average life with the simple dream of carrying on everyday with his loved ones and watching them succeed with their own things.

Sometimes, he cares too much, and that's a problem.

He's not afraid to speak his mind, call people out, and demand responsibility from others. He also regularly establishes boundaries when he can. He's willing to back off in the face of a perceived bigger threat, but tries to find loopholes to get his desired outcome.

On that note, Ean could bottle up his rage and frustrations pretty well. He can summon them again in battle and can be scary when he needs to be.

As an elf from the Vale, he probably gets Problem Sense Tingles a la Spidey Sense whenever something in the Land of Man doesn't feel right.

He's a little shy with his romantic feelings for Iya.

He is very nurturing. He tries so hard to understand his party members, but majority of his focus is on Iya.

Among the party members, Rye is his best buddy and also serves as his teacher in battle.

He lets Ava take lead sometimes, and he is very accommodating to everyone else who offers to join them in his quest.

Iya

As someone who was born with potential and raised with praises, all she wants is validation, acceptance, and assurance. She likes doing things for others, if it will make them like her.

Her memories as old Iya are still fuzzy, partly from having her soul ripped apart, partly from being treated poorly by her family.

Song magic does rely on her voice, so she developed the habit of not saying much, until her anxiety gets the better of her.

She often sticks to Ean's side and opinions since she feels the safest next to him. She acts cutesy with him to win his affections and attention. She's always had a crush on him, though prior to her kidnapping she was too focused on pleasing her family to ever act on her feelings.

Thanks to her time in Shaenlir, she has quickly mastered the diplomatic smile. She is also very mindful of rules and would not like to break them or even go around them.

She's not as fond of anyone else in the party, but she's willing to be civil since that's what Ean wants. Emma and Gavin in particular make her a bit uncomfortable.

Rye

There's a specific type of girl he hates and it's the ones who dream of rose-colored lives with rich men saving them from a life of cold, hard manual labor. (He's good with women who he considers are rough and tough, like Emma and Ava.) This is heavily influenced by local girls, especially his older sisters.

He knows he's not as smart and he's insecure about it.

He likes to talk. A lot. He needs to spend energy talking or he'll end up very annoyed and unwilling to cooperate.

As a hunter and a farmer, he is the brawn of the party. He also serves as their cook and initially carried most of their stuff.

He utterly hates Iya and her perceived vulnerability and dependence on Ean.

He thinks what he feels for Emma is something akin to romance, because he genuinely wants to support a hardworking person like her (and Ean).

He respects Ava and Gavin as established people in their respective fields, but hates and envies Nicolas for being so privileged.

Though initially wary of Jack, they vibe together so Rye is willing to overlook the whole criminal thing.

Emma

Having grown in a kingdom obsessed with romantic love, she swore to stand out and be not like other girls for real. She delights in gross and ugly things mostly to make people leave her alone.

That said, she hates being bossed around. She will use the volume of her voice and change her posture to appear bigger.

Whatever she puts her mind to, she is good at it. The only things she would avoid delving in are romantic relationships and kids.

She wasn't too fortunate as a young girl, so as an adult, she promised to always get what she wants.

She isn't romantically interested in Rye, but she thinks he's twice as better as the other available candidates for a spouse since he has similar views on romance and wouldn't be a nuisance about it.

To deal with Nicolas, she plays dumb about his requests so he'd think she's too incompetent to be bossed around.

She likes having Ean as a leader since he allows her to do whatever as long as she's done with her part of the thing. She's less enthused with Ava around since she finds Ava a bit strict for her taste.

She likes to hang with Gavin because he's cool and they have the best banter together (after Rye).

She also likes to bully Iya a bit, because she thinks Iya should grow a spine.

As an occasional thief and mischief maker, she respects Jack's hustle; even asks him for his tips and tricks.

Nicolas

His mother is his father's second wife, thus the big age gap between him and Uthar. He was essentially a rainbow baby so Guevene spoiled him a lot.

The Uthar he met is more prim and proper, a dependable guy with a knack for pranks and fun times. He looks up to his brother and considers Uthar's word as law, so Nicolas will do the dirty work if Uthar tells him so.

Hard pass if it means he has to listen to someone else, though. He will do things when he feels like doing it.

He loves to be pampered. He feels entitled to other people's service. He does not care if they like him or hate him, as long as it does not inconvenience him.

He is very untrustworthy towards people who do not look attractive or "clean" to him, like the witches. He was taught that all these kinds of people would take advantage of him.

He initially only likes Iya among the party members because she knows how to act like a proper lady. He doesn't know she doesn't exactly like him.

He initially doesn't respect Ava and doesn't believe Uthar is friends with her.

He doubts Ean's leadership, but as long as Nicolas fulfills Uthar's request of him, he will see the end of the quest.

Ava

Her real name is Evangeline Harper. She became an outlaw because she hated her origin country's government. She eventually snuck out to sea, made her own name from befriending other runaways, and established her own crew. They use seemingly derogatory codenames to appear unserious and unalarming.

Her ship is called "Freowright". She got stuck in Seri for a bit after the Snow Queen deployed soldiers in the mainland; now Ava has two ships. The other ship, built during the resistance against the Snow Queen, she's nicknamed "The Commissioner".

Ava grew on tough love and thus shows it as well to put people in place. As both a disciplinarian, the oldest, and the most experienced of the party, Ean assigned her as second-in-command.

Unlike Ean who's happy enough to have everyone help in battle or solve mysteries with him, she sees to it that everyone does their share of the work before slacking off.

Ava once wanted to settle down, but things didn't work out. Eventually she started pushing away other potential partners in fear of having to deal with heartbreak again. It doesn't help that she willingly stripped herself of her personal sense of femininity in an effort to look powerful when she was starting out.

She doesn't like to tell her personal stories to everyone, but when she does, it's a sign that the person she's telling it to has earned her trust. The only exception is Iya, who needs much guidance as an amnesiac and lost dreamer.

Gavin

As someone who grew up in a matriarchal society, he unabashedly calls women pet names the way a clique of girls do.

His upbringing doesn't prevent him from trying to actually flirt with girls. He loves women and the company of women. And it doesn't help that he's been so used to the attention of women as a warlock who grew up surrounded by them.

He is essentially a communist who's against excessive hoarding of wealth and thus abhors nobility and royalty alike. He immediately signs up to be the party's provisions manager.

Since he's a warlock, he doesn't really see "ugliness" as an insult. It's part of the charm.

Iya is among the girls he's backed away from, mostly because she and Ean hover around each other too much. Gavin's charms did at one point work on Emma, but they decided that being friends who occasionally "flirt" was way better.

He actually wasn't as romantically interested in Ava, but his witch's nature demand that he annoy her for a bit. When Gavin notices she responds quite favorably with very feminine nicknames and monikers, this interests him because it creates a contrast from the image she portrays. It's this part of her that he likes to try and bring out more.

Jack

He tries not to get too close to anyone because as a criminal, most of his bonds are very shaky and temporary.

He's quite lazy and would rather spend time having fun with friends and what money he has in his pockets.

He has a lot of comments about how to do things. Too bad a lot of them is also outdated.

He likes to get on people's nerves to see how much he could get away with. Only Rye and Emma have "passed" this test. Jack has also learned not to cross Ean too much because Ean's wrath is something else, and that Ava hates hearing her name being lengthened, but won't try to do anything against him for it.

Aside from being the party's resident menace, he also scouts ahead with Rye.

#aveyond #av2 #anne's av2 au #anne's av musings #annelaurant hcs #satoh writes #can i just switch all my tags to satoh #i feel like i'm calling myself by a ghost's name

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fox-daddy · 1 year ago

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Incorrect quotes/edited posts I've seen in a pm seymore video.

But not as the arcana characters but as Arcadia fallen characters.

I know the player character has a name but I refuse to refer to them as anything other than player character. I also threw in my oc once in a while because why not.

~~~

Player character: pins an image of a galaxy on the notice board saying 'all my best fights happen here' as a joke*

Ann's writing underneath it: that isn't even our galaxy. Who, let alone how are you fight out there?

Michael's handwriting underneth: wouldn't you like to know?

~~~

My oc Hunter specifically @ Elizabeth in a joking tone: 'show your awnser' and 'explain how you got your awnser' and any other similar thing are the worst! Dont make me explain myself! I dont know! You taught me how to do this, you should already know.

~~~

Mime: I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy

Vil the character I made purely to be a jerk: I would. Pussy

Michael: I'm not going to sink to their level

Vil: I will. Coward

Victoria: I'm the bigger person

Vil: I'm 150cm tall. Give me the knife.

~~~

Ann: please retire the 'we are made from stardust' phrase. I'm so tired of it.

Michael: stars are made of flesh

Ann: I've changed my mind go back to the orignal phrase

~~~

Player character: just learned about history. Appalled.

~~~

Player character: TONIGHT WE DRINK FROM THE POND!

Victoria: NO THE FUCK WE DON'T!

Mime:already drinking the pond water* wait we're not drinking from the pond?

~~~

Some villager: I want to decompose in a bog

Quinn: well you clearly dont know the first thing about bogs.

Player character: being in the bog is like the opposite of decomposition. Get pickled idiot.

Michael: 'Get pickled idiot?' You know I might actually try and remember that one

~~~

My oc Kyle trying to be a bard; I once bought four sausage rolls, but little did the chasher realize I actually had five in my bag. The universe of course tried to fix this imbalance by causing a tear in my bag causing me to drop a sausage roll, but not so easily defeated I eat it anyway. The universe's counterplay? I got food poisoning. Total equilibrium.

The sparrow who just wanted to sing about the sparrows in:

~~~

Michael: is it route or route?

Mime: is it caramel or caramel?

Player character: is it either or either?

Ann: is it read or read?

Victoria: I hate all of you right now

Kaidan: your language is weird

Michael: you don't seem content with this content

~~~

Ann: how smart are you?

Player character: I mean I'm an alchemist appreciate so- *about to say pretty smart but gets interrupted*

Ann: I'll go ask Quinn

Player character internally:

~~~

Player character: 'apprentice acts like it's a job' was a sentence I did not expect to find looking up reviews for the shop.

~~~

Player character: every word that starts with n should have a silent g infront of it. Gnorway, gnuclear, gnervous system and most importantly gnipples

Michael: at some point my brain decided based on the word knee that body parts starting with n should have a silent k infront. Particularly the word neck. So I disagree with gnipples whole heartedly and think it should be knipples

Player character: how about a compromise? Gn words and kn words get switched. So now it's gnowledge and gneecaps. But also knome and knosticism

Ann: the problem with that is that it doesn't account for the orignal dilemma which is gnipples vs knipples. I for one think it should be pnipples like pneumonia

Michael: okay but what about mnipples like 'mnemonic'

Mime: this is the kind of discourse I enjoy watching from this group

Michael: female presenting gkpmnipples

Victoria: what the fuck are you guys doing, trying to invent neo-french?

Player character: dont you mean, gkpmneo-french?

Victoria: no, I don't.

~~~ the only modern day ones because it was too funny to me not to add~~

Player character: imagine if all the talking mirror tropes came from someone seeing a time traveler talking to their smart phone?

Michael: siri, siri in my phone, how the fuck do I get home?

~~~

Player character: I can't find my headphones and target is closed, this is a nightmare

Mime: just put an ant in each ear and they will sing to you

Player character: not a half bad idea actually

Michael: I read that wrong and thought you were still in the target after closing time and your biggest concern was lack of music instead of the creature

Player character: t-the creature?!

~~~

Ann: let's face it even when the video game says press any button to start you still push the start button

Kaidan: I once knew someone who would push the z button and they still scare me

Player character: I press the X button

Michael: I once pushed the power button

Ann:... do I even need to ask why

Michael: It is one of the many buttons is it not?

#arcadia fallen #arcadia fallen game #incorrect quotes

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sweetlesson · 2 years ago

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{Hey, y'all, your local fan that hasn't played a single game in her life is here to once again humbly ask the community for your assistance. And I want to go ahead and put this under a cut for some triggers, so just be sure to read the tw before you proceed.}

TW: Religion, religious trauma, Christianity, abuse mentions, religious beliefs, cult activity, indoctrination, god, worship, etc.

{Okay, so now that that's out of the way, I'm working on making a pokemon verse for my OC Haruto Abe (@falseapostle), and I've gotten his team worked out finally but realized I didn't consider a very important detail about him.}

{A very big part of Haruto's story is that he was raised in a very strict religious environment, and he was taught to serve the will of God over all things. As a result of this indoctrination, he becomes obsessed with curating his interpretation of his religion and strives to become an angel worthy of God. Ofc I am still trying to find a way to really translate the whole TWEWY concept of angels to a pokemon universe setting, but I have an even bigger problem with Haruto because it is literally like his whole identity.}

{So I don't actually know how religion is supposed to work in Pokemon or how I should paint Haruto and his behavior. I don't even know what "deity" he's supposed to be serving. I wondered if I might get everyone's help in figuring out a way to really make this work for his portrayal and translate him to the pokemon universe as smoothly as possible.}

{If it helps at all, Haruto is very closely connected to my Sanae Hanekoma (@strawberry-barista) and therefore I intend to also base him in Unova. Which, since I still haven't finished BW, I don't really know much about the lore. OTL I know the bare basics but that's it. The original dragon was suggested by a friend as being Haruto's deity of choice, but I can't find enough information on it to really craft a real uh, religion for him, I guess.}

{Any kind of information that you can give me will be super helpful, and I want to thank everyone in advance for being so patient and kind with me. ;<; }

#✿ no need concern yourself with me ┊ ooc #✿ your time here with me will be spent obtaining knowledge and skills indispensable for daily life ┊ psa #religion tw #religious trauma tw #christiantiy tw #religious beliefs tw #god tw #worship tw #cult activity tw #indoctrination tw #abuse tw #long post tw #ask to tag #//sorry y'all this one's a doozy

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lenaswritingandstuff · 2 years ago

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Losing Game [Antoine Griezmann x fem!OC] (Chap. VI)

Requested: No

Pairing: Antoine Griezmann x OC!Gabrielle Darian; more to be added.

Warnings: English is not my first language!

Wordcount: 4.4K+

A/N: Thank you for still reading! GIF IS NOT MINE. Enjoy!

Previous chapter

“You’re ready?” asks Louisa from the corridor.

“Almost,” I answer.

I hear her coming as I finish getting ready in the bathroom. I put earrings on when she arrives in front of me, looking me from my feet to my hair. Antoine and I agreed on a cozy restaurant therefore I put a suiting “cozy” outfit.

“You’re gorgeous,” she says with a smile. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you? I could chaperone you.”

We both have a soft laugh and I shake my head.

“It should be alright,” I say.

“Alright. But call me if you need, okay? I’d be there in two minutes.”

I promise on everything at exists on Earth that I’ll call her if needed, then I check my phone and sees that it’s time for me to go. I say goodbye to Louisa, who makes me promise to be careful, and then I leave the apartment. The restaurant is barely ten minutes away – which makes me believe that Louisa, knowing how fast she can actually run, could be hear in two minutes if I called her – and I will admit it’s rather convenient. I arrive in front of the restaurant, and realize and I’m a little bit early. Deciding to wait, I fix my hair in a nervous gesture, and look around to see if Antoine is coming. Jeez, don’t I look stupid waiting alone like that? I feel stress increasing in my body – the amount of stress my body can tolerate will never not surprise me – and I even start to ask myself this whole thing is actually a good idea. Two options after tonight appear in my mind: either he doesn’t like me – because, let’s be honest, how could a guy like him be interested in a girl like me? – and after tonight he doesn’t want to see me again, either he’ll just want me in his bed. Either way there won’t be any feelings between us. Look at you, no man will ever want you. I really wonder what I’ve done to have such an ugly and stupid daughter like you. If one day a man wants you, it’ll only be to sleep with you, and you’ll accept, because I’m sure that is what you will be, you’ll be nothing but a-

“Hey there.”

I come back to Earth thanks to the soft voice, so nice to hear, which drives away the cold, surly voice of my mother. A bit confused, I turn my head and sees Antoine, looking at me with an adorable smile.

“Hey,” I say, feeling a bit uncomfortable. “Sorry, I…I got lost in my thoughts.”

“No problem,” he answers, his smile getting bigger. “I’m happy to see you, you…are really beautiful.”

I feel my cheeks turning red and my heart, which strangely calmed down when seeing Antoine, starts beating wildly again.

“Thank you”, I say, “you’re very good-looking too.”

He’s not wearing a suit, just like I’m not wearing a designer dress – I’ve never wore one, by the way – but he’s still very elegant either way, and well, still handsome as ever. He gives me another smile and I swear I felt one of my knees bending. Pull yourself together, Gabrielle. That’s at this moment that he pulls flowers out of nowhere – I mean, probably from behind his back – and gives it to me. I was going to think it’s the first time a guy offers me flowers, but that’s not so illogic considering I’ve never had a real boyfriend, my last romantic relationship being in the end of high school, and my last date being one year and I half prior.

“It’s very beautiful,” I say, “It’s adorable of you, thank you.”

“Of course.

He’s still shy but the satisfied expression on his face, content that I like his bouquet makes me want to laugh. We decide on entering the restaurant, and at the moment we turn around towards to the restaurant behind us, I could have sworn someone on the other side of the street was taking pictures of us.

“Did you see that?” I ask Antoine.

He turns towards me.

“What?”

“There, on the sidewalk. Someone was taking pictures of us. A journalist, considering his camera.”

“I didn’t see anything,” Antoine says in a surprise and troubled tone, looking around us.

The journalist apparently disappeared just like that, but I couldn’t have imagined it? My mother often told me I was crazy, but never did I imagine things that weren’t real.

“I’m sure I saw him, though,” I whisper to myself.”

“I’m sorry,” Antoine says with a sad expression on his face, “I thought we would be left alone. I know you don’t like people taking pictures of you, but we shouldn’t let that ruin the evening, don’t you think?”

“You’re right,” I say.

How come he knows I don’t like people taking pics of me? We finally enter the restaurant, and the waiter leads us to our table in a peaceful corner. I’m about to sit down when Antoine almost jumps behind me to help me. Both feeling like laughing and finding it adorable, I thank him and he sits in front of me. A true gentleman, Mister Griezmann. Usually being very shy, I have a hard time starting a conversation with a stranger – especially in those circumstances – but we better not let an awkward silence get in.

“So,” I ask in a tone that I try to make relaxed, “how is it going at Clairefontaine?”

“Very well,” he says in a joyful tone, “I love being there and seeing the guys. And it’s always an honor to represent France.”

“I guess,” I answer. “You guys seem like you all get along well.”

He answers that they are like a family, and tells me about his best friends among the Bleus, Paul, Ousmane and Lucas. Hearing him talk about them, it’s obvious he sees them as his brothers, it’s really touching and reminds me of my relationship with Louisa. He smiles while speaking of them, and I realize I’m smiling all along. The waiter then arrives to take our orders, and leaves without noticing – or faking not noticing – the famous guy coming to diner tonight.

“They’re all adorable,” I say, sincere. “It would be nice to see them again.”

“They all thought you were super nice too,” Antoine answers quickly. “And Louisa too, by the way.”

“Oh, she is.”

He asks me questions about her, and I tell him about me knowing Louisa since we were nine years old, and that we’ve been best friends ever since. He nods sometimes, laughs when I say something that’s barely funny, without stopping smiling. The waiter comes back with our orders, and we eat while eating of anything and everything, of my job, of the family’s company, talk about how journalists and medias can be morons sometimes, of his training sessions, of his career – I notice that he never praises or compliments himself, and prefers praising the whole team or a teammate in particular.

“Is Benjamin doing better?” I ask as we both finish eating, “Mister Deschamps told me at the gala he had a problem.”

“Oh yes, thank you,” he says. “He starts doing better. Slowly, but we’re getting there. It makes us sad to see him like this but we’re here for him.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

He looks at me in a weird way, and before I can contemplate asking him what’s wrong, he brings his hand over the table and grabs mine. My heart starts beating faster than it ever did and I’m so surprised that I barely notice the waiter coming to ask us if we want desserts. Both Antoine and I answer no and as the waiter leaves I entwine my fingers in Antoine’s. His hand is soft and warm – and much bigger than mine. We decide to leave, and even though I insist on paying, Antoine ends up using his credit card. We both leave a tip and then leave in the dark night. The air is cold, but our still joined hands give me the sensation of feeling hot.

“I thought players were not allowed to leave Clairefontaine,” I say. “How come you’re here?”

“Clairefontaine is not a prison,” Antoine laughs softly, “and the coach can make exceptions. I have never asked for anything, and he likes me. He found you lovely, by the way.”

“That’s nice of him.”

He takes his phone and checks out time before pouting.

“I need to go,” he says. “Even though I was allowed to get out of Clairefontaine, there is still a curfew to be respected.”

“I understand.”

I’m sadder that he has to leave than I thought I would be. He leans close to me, puts his free arm around my waist, and his lips leave a long, warm kiss on my cheek.

“See you soon,” he whispers near my ear, and I feel a shiver.

I expect him to propose to call me tomorrow or propose that we see each other soon, but he doesn’t say anything. I ask myself if I should propose that but he walks away after one last smile. I think that’s it, that he doesn’t like me when suddenly, I see him stop walking in the middle of the sidewalk before turning around and racing towards me. I open my mouth to ask him what’s going on but he cups my face and kisses me.

Antoine’s lips dances on mine for what seems to be hours, and I feel dizzy. However, when his face gets away from mine, I realize I wanted more. I also realize that my arms are around his neck and that his hands are on my hips. Antoine smiles shyly at me, waiting for a reaction, and I thank in silence heaven that it’s now dark outside, otherwise he would see my face as red as ever. I smile back at him, and he leans towards me to kiss me again quickly.

“Sorry,” he says, “but I really wanted to do that.”

“Don’t worry,” I say, still breathless, “I wanted it too.”

I think that I actually wanted to kiss him since the first time I saw him, at the gala.

“Oh yeah?” he says happily.

Embarrassed, I slightly nod. I look at the ground but he raises one hand from my hips to gently caress my cheek before raising my chin so I look him in his eyes – even in the night I see that his eyes have a blue I’ve had never seen before in my life.

“Me too, you know,” he says as if he read my mind, “Since the gala, to be honest.”

So I didn’t make it up?

“Oh.”

That’s all I able to say.

“Yeah.” It’s his turn to be embarrassed. “We were talking, and I was listening to you, but it’s as if something was pushing towards you and screamed at me to kiss you. It’s…really weird. And after a while, I couldn’t hold back anymore and I unconsciously leaned towards you, and…”

“My mother interrupted us,” I finish.”

“Exactly. I’d understand if you found it weird or even if you were scared,” he adds quickly, “I mean, it was the first we saw each other, after all. I was the first one surprised, I assure you.”

“No, well, I mean,” I stutter, “I felt too, I think. It’s weird.”

“We’re weird,” he laughs softly, and I laugh too. “It might be going fast between us, but maybe it’s the Universe that’s telling us something.”

I nod. Antoine might be right, actually. It sure is going fast – hell, I’ve never kissed a guy on the first date – but sometimes, it was useless to think too much.

“Maybe you’re right,” I say.

Satisfied, he smiles at me and I remember he has a curfew to respect.

“You better get going. I wouldn’t want your coach to scold you because of me.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Antoine answers. “I’ll know what to tell him. But I’ll walk you home before I leave.”

I insist it’s unnecessary, but he insists that it’s dangerous for me to walk alone at night in a big city – especially this one – and we end up walking to my appartement, his hand in mine. We laugh when imagining the idiotic excuses Antoine could tell the team’s manager if he arrived late, and we suddenly arrive in front of the building’s door.

“Well,” I say, “See you soon, then.”

I get on my toes – because homeboy is actually tall – and kiss him. He is surprised at first, and then kisses me back vividly.

“See you around,” he whispers, his nose almost touching mine. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

I open the building’s door and watch him walk away. At the moment I’m about to get in, I hear him calling out my name in an urgent tone.

“Gaby?”

I turn my head and see turned in my direction. What now?

“Yes?”

“Do you want to come to Clairefontaine tomorrow?” he asks out of a sudden.

That one is a surprise.

“I, hum…Can I?” I ask, frowning.

“Tomorrow’s training session is public,” he answers. “I can get you a place without a single problem. And I’ll give you a visit of the castle.”

“Won’t it bother the others?” I ask. “I don’t want to bother, or to be an intruder…”

“Of course not,” he smiles. “They’ll be very glad to see you.”

I’ll admit that I’m still not entirely sure about the whole idea. He probably sees it at the look on my face, because his own face gets more serious.

“I’m the only one who does that,” he says, “and I swear to you, you won’t bother anyone.”

“Alright,” I say. “Just let me know when you’re sure I can come, and I’ll come.”

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll make sure of it,” he smiles again. “See you tomorrow.”

He gives one last smile and leaves in the night as I still feel the taste of his lips on mine.

*-*

I open the door and walk into the dark apartment, trying to be as silent as possible, as Louis is probably asleep. But I suddenly hear that the TV is on, and I realize I’ve been stupid to think that Louisa wouldn’t wait for me. I take off my shoes, still thinking I’ll find asleep on the couch – error, she’s sitting on the couch, more awake that she was this morning.

“So?”

She stares at me, a big smile on her face. I don’t answer, and smiles back at her instead.

“How was it?” she continues.

I nod, aware that I have a stupid smile on my face.

“Did he kiss you?” she suddenly exclaims. “He did, didn’t he?”

“Maybe,” I say.

She jumps with joy and claps her hands.

“I knew it! How was it? Is he a good kisser? Did he use his tongue?”

“You girl are sneaky,” I snap.

I sit next to her and decide to answer her right now, otherwise it will only be worse tomorrow morning.

“Yes, he’s a good kisser. A really good one, even. Holy crap, Lou’, he’s such a good kisser.” I sigh, a hand on my eyes.

“I’m not even surprised,” she says in a triumphant tone. “You could have answered my message to tell me everything was fine. I almost got worried.”

“Sorry, bestie.”

She tells me it’s fine with a gesture of her hand, and I turn to the TV.

“So, did he use his tongue or not?”

*-*

When I wake up the morning after, I notice – with surprise but also a strange joy – that I still have the taste of Antoine’s lips on mine. When I join Louisa in the living room, she’s on the phone despite the fact that it’s still early in the morning, and she seems happy. She hangs up several minutes later, time for me to understand that it’s about a potential job.

“Who was it?” I ask, happy for her.

“Your mom.”

“What?!” I exclaim. “Why on Earth did she want?”

Louisa looks at me as if I was dumb.

“Well, for a job.” she answers. “The one you found me, by the way. I’ve had strings pulled for me, when you think about it.”

“Oh.”

With the stress of the date with Antoine and the date itself, I completely forgot that I asked my mother to hire Louisa.

“What job did she find you? Please, tell me we’re gonna work in the same floor.”

It would be so awesome to have Louisa work with me.

“Intern, at the finance floor,” she says in a sorry tone. “Sorry, hun. You know I would have loved to spend my days with you.”

“I hope you’ll like it,” I say.

I should have known we wouldn’t be working together, there’s no job available in my floor.

“What matters is the salary,” she says. “I’ll have a job I love after I get my diploma.”

I open my mouth to answer her when I receive a text from Antoine telling me all is planned and that I can come to Clairefontaine without a problem.

“Is it your guy?” Louisa teases me. “Where are you going like that, by the way?”

“To Clairefontaine,” I answer.

“Claire- Hold on a minute, Clairefontaine, as, the Bleus’ castle?”

“Yes ma’am.”

She gives me a weird, confused look.

“Alright then. Do you really think your outfit is right for playing football? I’m telling you right now, I’m not coming to see you at the hospital.”

“I’m not gonna play,” I answer, rolling my eyes. “I’m just gonna watch the training session and then talk with Antoine and the others.”

“Take one of their numbers for me, you’d actually be useful.”

“Screw you.”

*-*

I thought I was gonna get lost at some point, but thankfully I find easily Clairefontaine. I only think of how happy I am to see Antoine again – and a bit anxious about what to do when I’ll see him: kiss him or not kiss him? – when I realize as I arrive that I don’t actually have tickets for the training session. I wonder how I’m gonna get in when I see a silhouette coming. I easily recognize Antoine, who switched his yesterday’s simple but still classy outfit to a gym outfit and I jacket I imagine is common to the entire team. I ignore my heart which beats fast and walks to him.

“Hi,” I smile.

“Hey, you.”

I barely have time to ask myself again if I should kiss him or not when he leans towards me and gives me a soft, long kiss. And like last night, I feel dizzy.

“How are you? Slept well?” he teases me, meaning “Did you dream of me?”

“Not too bad, you?”

It’s a lie: I really didn’t sleep well last night, having nightmares which looked like bad memories with my mother from my childhood.

“I’m great,” he smiles, “and I didn’t even come home late.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Nice outfit,” I add, looking at his dark blue clothes.

“I know, right?”

Gently taking my hand, he leads me to the castle, a pretty, warm building with fair walls.

“I hope I’m not late,” I say.”

“Not at all, don’t worry.”

The castle disappears as if walk to several football fields, which of one is used by the Bleus, busy chatting.

“I’ll go that way,” Antoine says, indicating a ramp that lead to the field, “you go that way.”

He shows me a track at the end of which is a stand where spectators are sitting. I nod and he gives me a “Visitor” badge.

“See you later.”

“Have a nice training session.”

He winks at me and then joins his teammates on the field. I go sit with the other spectators in the stand. Most of them are wearing a Bleus’ jersey, and they all chat joyfully – mostly of the players in front of them. Not only they all are happy to be here, but it’s obvious that they sincerely love the Bleus – it’s very touching. The children are the most excited of all and point at their favorite player. The training sessions starts, and strangely I don’t get bored one bit. It’s actually rather fascinating to see them working. Even though most of them are serious in their behavior and their work, it’s still joyful and we see players laughing with each other. Antoine talks with Ousmane Dembélé, and I sometimes see him staring at me – unless he’s just looking at the spectators that came to encourage the Bleus during their work. If Antoine only stares at me sometimes, Emilien looks at me every five minutes. And I have to say it kinda makes me feel uncomfortable.

I never get bored, and even if I watch all the players from time to time, I’ll admit that I stare at Antoine most of the time. At the end, the supporters around me go towards the field for a photo-autograph session. I decide to leave the stand alongside them, but unlike them, I don’t walk to the barrier which limits the fields, even though I’m close enough to hear the conversations between the players and the fans.

“The pic of your family you posted is so cute,” a blond teenager tells Olivier.

“Thank you,” he answers, signing a jersey.

Hearing the girl talking to her friend, basically all the players posted a pic of their loved ones to tell them they love them and thank them for their support. When Antoine arrives, his lips form the words “Wait for me” in my direction, and I nod. I have nothing better to do, after all. I watch as Antoine takes pictures with the fans, and it’s just adorable. Despite his obvious shyness, he’s polite and kind to the adults, warm and a gentleman to the ladies, and makes each kid feel like they’re his best friend. Once the Bleus leave after biding the fans goodbye, the latter leave, all happy to have a picture or an autograph of their favorite players. Antoine joins me, a smirk on his face.

“Did you have a good time?”

“Absolutely,” I answer, “it was really interesting.”

We walk to seems to be a locker-room, where players talk in peace, looking as if they’re waiting for something. Antoine takes my hand once again – Dang, I’m really gonna get used do it – and I gently squeeze it. I look at him, and admire the blond color of his hair and the lighter blue shade of his eyes – which makes them even beautiful – both caused by the sun. He catches me looking at him and turns his head to me, and I give him an apologizing smile.

“What are they waiting for?” I whisper to Antoine.

“You, of course”

I almost expect Antoine to announce me but he doesn’t need to, as the guys see us coming and most of them come to greet us.

“Look who’s here,” says Paul joyfully. “How are you, Gaby?”

“I’m good,” I say with a smile. “Nice training session.”

Emilien comes next, a big smile on his face.

“It’s so nice to see you again,” he tells me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t have time to call the number you gave me. But I will call soon, I promise. I’m still very keen on doing this partnership.”

“No problem,” I answer, ashamed of the fact I forgot that he wanted to be an ambassador for our charity at the gala.

Once I greeted almost everybody – including Didier Deschamps and his assistant, as kind as always – Antoine introduces me to Benjamin Pavard, who I haven’t met yet, standing next to Adil Rami. He looks adorable with his curly hair.

“Benji, this is Gaby,” Antoine says.

“Nice to meet you,” I say.

“Me too.”

He kisses me on the cheek, but I still think he looks pale and tired. If Benjamin doesn’t talk too much, Adil talks for two. He asks me a lot of questions, including about my date with Antoine the day before, and Antoine himself gets annoyed.

“Are you gonna ask for her criminal record, or what?”

“No, bro, I’m just getting to know her,” Adil answers. “It’s just being polite.”

“Yeah, well, go show us how polite you are by go take a shower.”

“Come on, Grizou, you’re not funny. See ya, Gaby”.

He walks like most of the others inside the lockers-rooms and Benjamin follows him after greeting me.

“It was nice meeting you.”

“You too.”

I talk with Didier Deschamps, who asks me how my parents and Louisa are, and asks if Antoine behaved well last night.

“Absolutely,” I say, “he was adorable.”

I smile to Antoine, who was looking at the ground, and he finally smiles back, but his eyes go back to the ground.

“Thank you for allowing him to leave Clairefontaine”, I say, “and for allowing me to come today.”

“Oh, of course. We’re glad to have you here – and I know Antoine couldn’t wait to see you.”

“Can she come back tomorrow?” Antoine asks all of a sudden.

Didier and I turn our heads towards him at the same time, both surprised.

“I don’t want to be a burden,” I say, embarrassed, “it’s already nice of you to have me here.”

I would have loved to come – as I feel that I want to spend more and more time with Antoine, no matter what he’s doing, but I don’t want to impose myself and I don’t want Antoine to have problems because of me. The coach and the player stare at each other, as if they shared a secret. A feeling of confusion gets to me, but the Team’s Manager nods.

“Yes, of course. Tomorrow’s training session is not public, but there is no problem in you coming.”

“Are you sure?” I ask. “I’d understand if-”

“Yes,” Antoine says in a reassuring tone, putting a hand on my back. “Come, please. I want to see you.”

He looks so adorable with his sad face that I have to give up.

“In that case,” I say, still a bit uncertain.

Antoine smiles at me and kiss me quickly. Really bro, in front of your coach?

“Awesome,” Didier says, “I’ll see tomorrow then, young lady.”

He walks away after ordering the boys to hurry, leaving Antoine and I alone.

“If you don’t want to come tomorrow, you don’t have too,” Antoine says. “I don’t want you to force yourself…”

“No, no,” I answer, feeling guilty when I see his upset face. “Of course I want to come and see you, I just don’t want to cause you any problem or be a burden.”

He looks at me intensely and puts back my hair behind my ear.

“I don’t see how you could ever be a problem to me.”

NEXT CHAPTER

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