#and i Know if my ocs get bigger this whole problem is going to get bigger but id rather nip it in the butt where i can

[toxooz]

I know the answer might be no but still!

Are you ever going to make or add your characters into character ai?

I think it'll be really cool to be able to talk to Ollie, or just talk to the whole gang!!

Also lots of love to your art and comic, I found this comic when I was at my lowest and it really helped me out when I was really sad in depressed! Thank you for making this comic and for doing all of this amazing work that you have put in to your characters and storyline!!!

look 🙏 i do see the possible appeal in that i aint gunna lie one bit and as the creator of these characters the idea of being able to seemingly talk to them sounds pretty cool! BUT i simply cant jump on the AI train to Any extent it just wouldn't sit right with me. I feel like it would unnerve me after a while plus the idea of my OCs being 'off' or having out of character dialogue that's out of my control kinda gives me the willies. It seems like one of those things that are simply too good to be true in a practical sense so any possibility of it happening just goes into uncanny valley like do i wish i could take my ocs out of my brain and talk to them HELL yes ( if i dont get killed first) but that should be an impossible thing to do unless im dreaming or hallucinating or some shit. It's like the AI images ie. i Could just type in a bunch of prompts and shit out like 30000 images of my ocs so that i could look at them but where would the yearning be after that??? The loving sculpting of them in my brain while im trying to capture their essence with my hands into a drawing??? One of the main reasons for my ocs to exist is so that its something for my brain to toy around with and wallow in like a cat in catnip, so the idea of being able to just 'lay everything out' so easily just ruins the whole ' i have mysterious little dudes in my head that i mold around everyday to try and figure them out' aspect if that makes any sense??? PLUS im pretty sure the chat ai basically takes paragraphs from writers so for me to be so abhorrently against ai images yet being on board with chat ai when its ~surprise~ stealing from real writers feels like the most hypocritical ass shit i could do sO long old head 'robots evil' rant short: its a no from me dawg

BUT THAT ASIDE im glad to hear u like wheel bitten!! That means so much to hear and may your life continue to improve and thrive!✨🌟

[zmwrites]

OC Kiss Week Day 2: First

WIP: Snowy WIP

Pairing: Livia x Matthias

CWs: just smooching

Words: 1,013

Notes: probably canon! I really like how this turned out so I might put it in the manuscript when I get to this point of the story

Livia and Matthias sat in the almost empty dining room. Only a few other people occupied tables around them and the bartender had extinguished the candles at the empty tables, leaving the room dim and shadowy. She didn’t mind—the indistinct lines of the space around them were cozy, in a pleasantly sleepy way. It reminded her of the end of parties back home, when the music had tapered off and the servants were cleaning up and she would giggle with her friends while waiting for their carriages.

“You should go to bed soon,” Matthias said, breaking the comfortable silence they’d settled into as they’d nursed their drinks.

“What about you?” she asked. 

He shrugged. “I figured I’d let you get comfortable first.”

“What a gentleman.”

There had only been two rooms available at the inn: one with a large bed, and one with two single beds. Gemma and Isak had taken the large bed, leaving the two singles to Livia and Matthias. It wasn’t a problem, Livia told herself. It wouldn’t be weird. They’d shared a room before, even if it had always been the four of them together. They were adults and the tension between them wouldn’t make sharing a room uncomfortable. It wasn’t like they were sharing a bed.

Matthias smiled softly. “I do my best.”

She tried to ignore the fluttering in her chest. Something about the juxtaposition between his rugged appearance—the calluses on his hands, the muscles under his clothes, the big scar that cut across his face and the smaller ones that littered his skin—and the soft way he looked at her made her higher reasoning stop functioning.

“We have a long day tomorrow. We really should turn in,” he said.

“I know. I just…” She didn’t want the evening to end, but she couldn’t say that aloud. It was so easy spending time with him. The conversation, the jokes, the clever back and forth; she didn’t have to try as hard as she did with the men she’d met at school and at court.

Of course, it helped that he had no idea who she was. She didn’t have to live up to the social expectations that came with her title. She could just exist with him, wholly and truthfully, and not worry about hiding the parts of herself that would be found unpalatable by the nobility she’d spent her life with. It was refreshing. It was freeing.

“You just what?”

Livia raised her eyes to his. They were on the same side of the table, tucked into a corner of the dining room and sitting far closer than necessary. She wasn’t sure how it had happened—they had a whole table and yet she was almost in his lap. Had she moved closer? Had he? 

“I just enjoy talking to you,” she admitted with a small smile. “It’s silly, but I feel like you actually listen to what I say.”

“Of course I listen to you. That’s how conversations work,” he replied.

She laughed. “Not where I come from. Most people just nod along when I speak and then bring up their own interests.”

“They’re missing out.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m serious,” he said, the side of his finger on her jaw to bring her eyes back to his. “I meet a lot of people while doing this job. Most of them are forgettable. Some of them are unbearable. But you’re the first person I’ve met in a long time who I want to keep talking to, even when I know damn well I should’ve gone to bed hours ago.”

She stared at him, lips slightly parted, searching for words but finding none. Even her mother’s endless lessons on politeness and manners were failing her. It’s rude to stare. Close your mouth. Say something in thanks. Say anything at all. Please, please, please, say something.

His gaze slid to her lips and he wavered towards her. There already wasn’t much space between them, so the small movement seemed bigger. Felt bigger. Her breathing stuttered, her heart raced, and her mind went completely blank. His finger was still on her jaw, turning her towards him, but he seemed frozen.

His hand dropped into his lap and a conflicted expression flickered across his face. “You should go to bed.”

She couldn’t bring herself to be upset—of course he couldn’t kiss her. From his perspective, she was a vulnerable damsel in distress he was rescuing. She hadn’t known him long, but it was obvious he wasn’t the type to take advantage of an unbalanced dynamic like that. She tamped down her disappointment.

Livia rose from her seat. “I need ten minutes to wash up, and then you’ll be welcome in the room.”

He nodded, his arms crossed in front of him on the table.

She only got about five steps away before she stopped. When had she become the type of woman who needed a man to kiss her first? She was not timid or shy. She wanted to kiss him, perceived power imbalance be damned.

She spun on her heel and strode back to the table and a confused Matthias.

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

She managed a nod before her hands were on either side of his face and she was leaning into him. It was soft and sweet and over before she wanted it to be, but even the small taste sent a wave of comforting warmth through her. Maybe it was the cozy, poorly lit room, or the exhaustion in her bones, but it felt different than other first kisses. It felt like more. 

Matthias tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear but didn’t draw away. “What was that for?”

“Just because I wanted to,” she replied. She forced herself to open her eyes and step back, smiling faintly at his bewildered expression. “Goodnight, Matthias.”

“Goodnight, Liv.”

She walked away and tried to ignore the bubbling giddiness in her chest. She was supposed to be rescuing her family and saving her kingdom, not catching feelings for a smuggler. Then again, she’d always been good at multitasking.

[writing-whump]

In reference to our recent conversation about your OC's relationships, and remembering this post from many months ago ( https://www.tumblr.com/writing-whump/751203707543289856/i-dont-chat-or-dm-but-ill-ask-a-question-to-get?source=share ), i'm curious if something changed in the view of your OCs in your character eyes, after all this time. It would be nice to see some progress (or maybe some things are sure and stable?) And of course there is more of them now, so you could describe shortly their thought about others not only inside the pack (which is currently bigger), but also pack-wolfson brothers?

If you have time, if course,and if it makes sense. 😘

This is a very interesting idea! It's been almost a year, since the original post is from May 22, 2024. Storywise, it happened right after Hector and Arnie found out the truth about their father (50.) and before the pack met Rip (77.-79.). It's fun to sum up all the things that have changed since then: Isaiah's heart attack, Dylan and Rip, the vacation, Shawn, Seline and Isaiah breaking up, Kieran, Alessia and Dominick...

How do they see each other?

Isaiah and Matthew

I think their relationship is changing a lot. Matt stopped seeing Isaiah as this otherworldly figure that can do no wrong - esp after the heart attack, he realized that sometimes it wasn't just okay to disagree with Isaiah, but necessary. Matt didn't know that was something he could do, he admired him so much. Now he dares to disagree a lot more, but still not as directly as he could. Isaiah is not thinking about this intentionally, but he feels like Matt is progressing a whole lot and figuring himself out...and I think he can see him being free from his past, rebuilding the bond with his sisters and finding a purpose not defined/involving the Executioner bussiness...which he seems as an advantage while Matt perceives it more like distancing and like he isn't needed around.

Isaiah keeping Matt & Seline out, while he is struggling with the meaning and his role as Executioner is one of their biggest current issues.

Isaiah and Seline

These two also went through a lot of changes. At the end it wasn't the secrets that broke their [romantic] relationship (though the strict separation of life segments plays a role) but the inferiority/superiority complex. I think Isaiah and Seline are both used to be very, if not the most, dominant in the room either by skill, expertise or knowledge, that's why they find it hard to find an equal. Now if they do, they both have not-so-healthy reactions. Seline switches to quickly feeling competitive and insecure about the things she is supposed to know and should perform to make up for what the other person is better at than her. Isaiah goes to his unworthiness pattern and "I don't want to burden you with my existence" feels. Being needed and in the protective supervisor role feels familiar and safe for him and he can give that to Sel, who is learning to accept and enjoy it—in their friendship based relationship that feels less threatening to her.

Besides, Matt might have let the inferiority thing pass, but you bet Seline would be super offended if Matt explained to her what he did to Hector about respect=distance, vulnerable=protective issue.

Isaiah & Hector & Arnie

These three are evolving as well, but it's a painful process. Hector and Arnie have a problem seeing Isaiah outside of his caretaking role. After the Reveal, they both accepted Isaiah was this big hero for both of them and means well and loves them and they get to have him back...and it's really difficult to let go of that heroic image and accept him having human flaws and weaknesses. He is on a pedestal and he is supposed to be this unbreakable strong person they look up to. Now even when Isaiah tells them otherwise, admitting to his pain, they don't know what to do with it & try ignoring it out of existence.

Matthew & Seline

Their relationship is pretty stable. Loving, close, supportive. Staying in their areas of expertise and admiring what the other can do that they don't.

Dylan & Rip & Trio

Dylan and Rip had been adopted into the pack quite naturally and implicitly. No official proclamations, they just happened to fall in one day. Dylan is figuring himself out, he and Rip are both healing from different things. Matt and Seline feel protective and nurturing over both. Dylan is a bit too relaxed and childish, but it's a trusting state in a safe space. Rip is...learning to trust it. The process is painful but a lot more gratifying than he thought.

Isaiah and Rip

What Rip has over Matt is that he is always going to be worse off anywhere else beside Isaiah. Matt has a chance at a life—Rip won't have another opportunity. That's why Isaiah doesn't mind relying and revealing to him a lot more while teaching him as his apprentice and involving him with his Executioner missions. Rip doesn't yet quite see Isaiah as a person with needs and wants either. He is grateful and Isaiah is a symbolic helpful authority that he finds worthy to accept and learn from. Rip doesn't understand how and why Isaiah needs him, that this whole deal isn't just for Rip's sake or doesn't have to be. But he is doing his best to be useful and develop his skills in a meaningful name. Right now that purpose and goal is to please Isaiah, but he will able to tap into his own ingrained justice code as well—and it's a powerful one.

Matthew & Hector and Seline & Arnie

Matthew and Hector developed a very interesting bond, founded on brutal honesty, provocations and banter. But they never cross certain boundaries and there is mutual respect and understanding between them now that makes it easier to communicate than with other people in their lives.

Sel and Arnie have been a lot closer since the vacation and the law meeting. They don't find it too hard to stay in touch or text each other, and Arnie invites her into cinema or theater and other cultural event stuff that Matt and Hector would be too bored or allergic to attend.

Isaiah and Kieran

I find this dynamic interesting, because it's so conflicting. Kieran is Isaiah's opposite. An indulgent rebellious freedom-obsessed thrill-seeker. And he sees in Isaiah everything he hates about wolves, their control, arrogance, bossiness and martyrdom. They are just so tortured with their constant control-need instead of living out their shadows. Isaiah doesn't understand why yet, but Kieran can get under his skin a lot easier than anyone else he has met before.

[thatgirlonstage]

Your black butler posting has made me want to watch it. In your opinion, is the Correct Viewing Experience to watch it sequentially as it appears on Crunchyroll?

Hey anon! I am delighted that you want to get to know my favorite little guys :D I really hope the length of this answer doesn’t scare you off 😅

My shortest and preferential answer: if you are able and willing to start with the manga instead and come back to the anime as a Fun Bonus later, that will unequivocally get you the best Black Butler Experience™.

The Black Butler anime is… a bit of a mess. It suffers from the common aughts anime problem of having anime only filler, made up endings, and spin offs that have nothing to do with the canon storyline and sometimes majorly contradict it. While everything from Book of Circus forward is a largely faithful adaptation, the early arcs are varying degrees of altered and there’s a lot of noncanon stuff to navigate around, and also you can’t just watch the seasons in order because there’s some vital stuff in the movie especially.

If you’re willing to read SOME manga but still want to get to the anime sooner than later, one thing you could do is read from the beginning up through the end of chapter 23. After that, you should watch in the following order:

—S3/Book of Circus (10 episodes)

—Book of Murder (2 episode OVA. This one isn’t on Crunchy, afaik the only legal option to watch it right now is to purchase a dvd, but it’s available on the high seas. You CAN skip it, it’s a largely self-contained story, but you will miss a certain character joining the main cast. Also it’s a shame to miss it, it’s just two hours of classic murder mystery pastiche and it’s so cozy and fun)

—Book of Atlantic (movie)

—S4/Public School Arc (11 episodes)

—S5/Green Witch Arc that’s airing later this year

Obviously there are some (usually minor) adaptation changes made, and you will be missing some of the stuff from the transitional chapters between arcs, but that sequence is a largely faithful adaptation and cohesive narrative.

I know there are some people out there who just started with Book of Circus. I personally can’t recommend that because you’re going to miss the introductory chapters/arcs for *several* major characters if you do. If, however, you are set on starting with the anime, I will break down how you handle watching S1 below the cut.

Season 2 is completely noncanon and basically standalone. It’s absolutely batshit off the wall and I do actually think it’s kind of fun to watch lmao, just so long as you go in with the mindset that it’s an OC-centric weird little AU fanfic. Do whatever you want with that (….except starting there. I do not recommend starting with S2). The OVAs besides Book of Murder are also noncanon and you can watch or not as you’re interested.

Okay. Season 1:

First of all, there are more and bigger changes made even to the canon episodes of S1 compared to the later adaptations—some of it is faithful, but for instance, the first episode completely changes out a character and alters the ending, another episode has a whole sequence of Grell at the manor that doesn’t exist in the manga, and. We’ll talk about the curry arc in a minute. Just keep in mind everything “canon” in S1 comes with asterisks, which is why I’m so hesitant to recommend starting there.

The canon episodes of Season 1 are: Episodes 1-6, 13, 14, and PARTS OF 15. From there you can jump to Book of Circus.

Everything else is either filler or part of S1’s anime-only storyline with its original ending. If you want to watch episodes 7-12 you can, just keep in mind everything in them is retconned from Circus forward. If you care about spoilers for the canon story, do not watch the second half of S1. The anime team was clearly given some information on certain characters’ backstories before they were revealed in the manga, so it spoils some fairly major stuff even if it has different specifics.

Regarding episode 15: this one is just fucked. I can’t say skip it entirely because episodes 13-15 are the introductory arc for two really major secondary characters. However, they significantly altered the way the climax of this arc plays out in order to set up for the anime original storyline, so it’s just going to feel like some nonsense that doesn’t connect to anything. They also massively altered Queen Victoria’s portrayal (she is just a whole different character S1). If you want to read JUST the chapters that episode 15 is covering, they’re chapters 21 & 22. Otherwise, you can watch it and just know that a lot of stuff in it isn’t canon. Unfortunately unless we ever get a reboot of season one then we’re just never going to have this arc animated properly, which sucks, and is the biggest sticking point imo in like. Explaining to someone how to watch the anime. This one episode is the main reason I’ve been going on for paragraphs and paragraphs about how to approach this thing lmao.

Obviously, at the end of the day—it’s a tv show and it’s not that deep. I’ve assumed that since you asked you are invested in getting the best version of the story, so that’s what I have tried to set you up for here, but also if this is wildly overwhelming and you’re like “fuck it I’m just gonna watch season one and go from there,” that’s what I did initially, and it clearly didn’t stop me from falling in love with this story. I care about Black Butler a LOT and I do want people to get to experience it in the best way possible, but like—more importantly it should be fun and not a chore. If I’m being honest the early chapters are a little janky in their own ways too! Which I find charming now, but like, it’s definitely a series that takes a minute to find its footing no matter where you start with it. So do what’s gonna bring you joy and I hope you like it <3

[mystique-6]

Kinktober (It's really Whumptober) Day 7: Spanking

 Summary: Ailis' unresolved trauma is triggered and she takes her feelings of guilt and remorse out on her companions. Astarion makes her pay a price for it.

Hello! My hyperfixation on Astarion has got me in the writing mood so I will be participating in Kinktober using @flightlessangelwings Kinktober list. The pieces may be part of a bigger fic(s). I have started the fic. If you like this please consider checking out my main fic, This is Me Trying. (Can you tell I like Taylor Swift?) Either way, I hope you enjoy. I do plan on completing the 31 prompts though it will take me past October. I also have the fic posted on AO3.

Warning: Anyone under 18 do not interact. Please pay attention to the tag warnings below.

Tag Warnings: Spanking, Light BDSM, Safe, Sane and Consensual, Un-Resoled Trauma, Guilt, Survivor's Guilt, Nudity, Snuggling & Cuddling, Aftercare, Whump, No Sex, NSFW

Additional Note: This fic involves Spawn Astarion. I have stated that some of these prompts will be used in my main BG3 fic, This is Me Trying. This one definitely will be. This is actually a very important chapter for my OC and I saw an opportunity to have a practice run of the chapter. I'm glad I did it because I know now for sure that a flashback chapter will be needed. This ended up being too much exposition. Still, I hope there will be some people who enjoy this fic. If you are reading This is Me Trying and don't want spoilers though, you may want to skip this one.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from BG3.

        

  Ailis felt her headache growing as her group argued over how to rescue the tieflings…again.  Two days ago, they’d entered the Shadow-Cursed lands.  Earlier this day they’d met a group of Harpers and had helped them in a battle against a batch of shadow monsters.  This had gotten them an invite to the Last Light Inn, the final sanctuary left in these lands.

            Once there, they’d been revealed as true souls.  The leader of this faction of Harpers, Jaheira, had made to attack her group, but thankfully the tiefling child, Mol, had convinced the woman to give them a chance.  It was clear now, though, that Jaheira just saw her group as a tactical maneuver.  She wanted them to use their status as true souls to infiltrate Moonrise Towers and find a way to kill Kethric Thorm; the person who had taken over these lands.

            She didn’t necessarily oppose to looking into Kethric Thorm.  He seemed to be involved with the Absolute Cult and they were in desperate need of answers about their tadpoles.  Looking into Thorm and getting information on the Absolute and their tadpoles aligned with each other.  However, Jaheira also wanted them to go on a rescue mission.

            While her team had scouted around the inn on their arrival, they found some of the tieflings they’d helped at the grove.  About half of the group was missing.  It turned out that the road they had intended to follow to Baldur’s Gate had been destroyed.  They had opted to travel above land through all the Shadow-Curse instead of cutting out most of it by going through the Underdark.  The group had been attacked by Absolute cultists.  Many had been killed or captured, but the rest had found their way here.

            Ailis was sympathetic to their plight.  She could feel the hopelessness, grief, and guilt from those who remained.  She couldn’t stop Rolan’s angry words towards her earlier in the day from playing on repeat in her head.  But they had their own problems.  They needed to start putting their whole attention on getting rid of these tadpoles.

            “This arguing is ridiculous!”  Wyll’s shout caught her attention.  He made eye contact with her.  “Chief, tell this lot we need to save the tieflings first.  Thorm can wait.”

            “If we go in and bust their prisoners out, we’ll make the cultists hostile towards us and we won’t be able to get the information we need,” Shadowheart protested.  “The tieflings have to wait.”

            “There are ways around that,” Gale said.  “We could use confusion spells or disguise spells.  Or we could make it look like the prisoners broke out themselves.”

            “That seems like a lot of effort when we can just rescue them after we take care of Thorm,” Shadowheart said.

            “I agree with Shadowheart,” Lae’zel said.  “Though it pains me to say it.”

            “This is getting ridiculous,” Wyll sighed.  “Ailis, come on.  Set this lot straight.”  She felt a surge of anger course through her.  She always had to be the one to solve all their problems or play mediator.  It was growing tiresome.  It was draining her.  It was too big of a job with this crew.  She could feel her skin crawl with anxiety over the overwhelming job of managing all their egos.  Her nerves prickled at their expectant stares.

            “Ailis…” 

            “We don’t have time to be wasting on the tieflings again,” she snapped as her emotions boiled over.  A part of her was horrified at what had just spewed from her mouth and her gut roiled with guilt from the shocked and dismayed looks on Karlach’s and Wyll’s faces. 

            “I’m surprised to hear you say that,” Gale said in a saddened tone.

            “As am I,” Lae’zel agreed.  “I didn’t think you had it in you to ignore people in need.”

            “Oh please,” she said.  “I’m hardly a hero.”

            “You are to these tieflings,” Karlach stated.

            She ignored a fresh stab of guilt and shook her head.  “We need to focus on these tadpoles,” she said.  “We don’t have time to spend on a group of people who are clearly doomed.”

            “Wow,” Shadowheart said.  “I would expect that level of callousness from Astarion, but not you.”

            “Well, that’s rather rude,” Astarion whined.  “I probably would have kept that thought to myself.  Probably.”

            Ailis sighed.  “Look, what happened to the tieflings is tragic, but we need to focus on our own problem,” she said.

            “Then it’s settled.  We’ll investigate Thorm, and then we can free the tieflings,” Shadowheart said sounding pleased.

            “Well, that depends on what we find out about these tadpoles while looking into Thorm,” Ailis replied.  “Don’t forget these parasites are time sensitive.  At some point we will transform into mindflayers.  If we discover that’s going to be sooner rather than later, we won’t have time for the tieflings.”

            “You’re seriously saying you don’t want to help the tieflings at all?!” Karlach cried angrily.

            “I’m saying, that our tadpole problem is more important right now,” she said.

            “I suppose if we take out Thorm, that would make it possible for the Harpers to help the tieflings,” Gale cut in.  The wizard was always trying to find the middle ground.  He wanted so desperately to be liked.  She usually found this endearing, but right now it only fueled her anger.

            “I suppose that’s an option if we need to take out Thorm at all,” she muttered.  More incredulous looks greeted her.

            “If we need to take out Thorm?” Wyll repeated, astonished.  “Ailis, have you not paid attention to these realms?  Look what the man has done!”

            “What he’s done doesn’t concern us,” she argued.  “Our focus is getting rid of these tadpoles and if we can do that without spending time killing Thorm, then that’s what we’ll do.  End of discussion.”

            “I think there’s a lot more to discuss,” Karlach snapped.  The floor around her began growing scorch marks.

            “Easy now,” Wyll soothed.  “There’s no need to get worked up.  This is just a disagreement.”

            “One that we’ll all work out,” Shadowheart added.  Ailis snorted and the cleric glared at her.  “And what did that mean?”

            “Oh, I just thought what you said was amusing,” Ailis replied.  “‘We’ll work it out’ Ha!”

            “What are you getting at, Ailis?” Shadowheart snapped.

            “I just think it’s cute that you think you all will figure it out,” she replied.  “What you really mean is I will figure it out because I am always the one to figure out what we’re doing.  I am always the one who manages everyone’s opinions to come up with a solution.  I am the one who manages everyone’s ginormous egos!”

            “Now, that’s not really being fair,” Gale tried to intervene.

            “Fair?” she shrieked.  “No!  What’s not fair is dumping all your trauma on me and expecting me to deal with it for you.”

            “Darling, I think you…”

            “Don’t ‘darling’ me,” she snapped at Astarion.  “I have to do everything for everyone!  And no one ever helps me.  No one ever checks in on me to see how I’m doing.  So the only one whose opinion matters here is mine.  We need to learn about these tadpoles.  If that leads us to needing to take out Thorm fine, but if not, our next step is whatever gets rid of these parasites.”

            “You’re out of line, Ailis,” Shadowheart growled.

            “Now, hold on,” Wyll intervened.  “Ailis did make some fair points.  We could put more effort into controlling our emotions and…egos.  However, Ailis, you are the leader of this group and it’s your job to…”

            “Yes, I am the leader and I’m doing my job,” she cut him off.  “I’ve told you what we’re going to do.  That’s the end of the discussion.”

            “So, we just have to do what you say now?  Our opinions don’t matter?” Shadowheart scoffed.

            “That’s exactly, right,” Ailis replied coolly.

            “And if we’re not willing to go along with that?” Shadowheart asked through gritted teeth.

            “Then you can leave,” Ailis said.  She knew she was going too far, but she couldn’t stop herself.  She couldn’t bring herself to back down.  The frustration of the last few weeks was bubbling over.  Still, her guilt increased at the look of hurt on her companions’ faces.

            “You’d really kick out any who disagreed with you?” Lae’zel asked in a tone of surprise.

            “Don’t tell me you suddenly disagree with that philosophy,” Ailis replied.  “You’d have had me kick out most of this group a few weeks ago.”

            “I…”

            “You know what?  I’m done with this,” Ailis cried.  “Whoever decides to join me, meet back here in the morning.”  She turned and stormed out of the building.  She stalked angrily down to camp and began pacing the rocky shores of the lake nearby.  As she paced, she could feel her anger and anxiety turn inwards.  She shouldn’t have yelled at them.  They didn’t deserve that.  She just couldn’t stop thinking of Rolan’s words from earlier that day.  He was right.

            “You’re going to burn a hole in the ground if you keep pacing like that,” Astarion’s snide voice called out.

            Ailis glanced up at him and scowled.  “Go away, Astarion,” she said.  “I don’t want to talk right now.”

            “Yes, I gathered that,” he replied sitting down on a large boulder.  “Still, someone needed to check on you.”

            “And they decided to send you?” she asked.

            “I sent myself,” he replied sounding a little annoyed.  A stern look crossed his face when he noticed her look of disbelief.  “I’m not completely callous to your well-being, Ailis.  I care that something is clearly upsetting you.  Why don’t you tell me what it is?”

            “You don’t want to know,” Ailis replied bitterly.

            “Ah, but I do,” he said.  “It must be something big to make you go off like that.  Now go on and tell me.  It will make you feel better.”  She began to pace again.

            “You just want me to go back to being complacent,” she grumbled.  “You don’t care.  You just don’t like it when I’m a bitch, but it’s not my…”  She cut off when he stepped in front of her to stop her pacing, and gripped onto her shoulders.

            “You’re not a bitch, Ailis.  You’re just upset.  And yes, I do care,” he said.  “If you talk to me about whatever has you so upset, maybe you’ll feel better.”

            “I…I can’t,” she replied.

            “Yes, you can, darling,” he said.  “Just tell me what has you upset.  It was what Rolan said, wasn’t it?  You’ve looked agitated since that conversation.”

            “I can’t tell you.  You’ll leave if I tell you.  You all will,” she cried, tearing herself out of his grip.  She began pacing anxiously again.  This time, he didn’t try to stop her.

            “No one’s leaving, darling,” he said.

            “You would if you knew,” she said.  “You’d have never agreed to travel with me if you knew.”

            “Well, now I think I have to know,” he said, trying to teaser her to a lighter mood.

            “I’m serious, Astarion,” she replied, though she did stop pacing.

            Astarion nodded.  “I’m sorry, darling,” he said.  “Still, I think you better tell me.  I think it will help.”  She sighed and closed her eyes.  She opened them when she felt his arm wrap around her waist, and he led her over to the boulder he’d sat on before.  “Here.  Sit down here and we’ll talk.”  She gathered herself for a moment and stared out at the still water of the lake.

            “This isn’t my first time leading a group of people,” she said slowly.

            “I gathered that,” Astarion replied.  “You lead troops in the Espax War, didn’t you?”

            “Yes, and I have plenty of guilt over that, but that’s not what’s bothering me now,” she said, and then glanced up at him.  “How much do you know about the Espax War?”

            Astarion shook his head.  “Nothing,” he replied.  “I’d get bits of news when hunting targets, but that’s it.  Espax is a long way from Baldur’s Gate.”

            Ailis nodded.  “The war started as a rebellion against Espax’s government,” she began to explain.  “By all accounts, Espax had an incredibly corrupt government.  There were two factions running the rebellion.  Both wanted to take out the existing government, but their ideas for the future government differed.”

            “A recipe for disaster,” Astarion commented.

            “Exactly,” she said.  “The factions managed to overthrow the original government, but they couldn’t agree with each other enough to build a new one.  They began fighting and it turned into a full out war.  Both sides began recruiting soldiers, originally from their own people.  However, one faction was more popular than the other amongst Espax’s citizens and most went to fight for them.”

            “So, the faction you fought under had to resort to other methods of recruitment,” Astarion said.

            “By the time I was press-ganged into service most of the people fighting were doing so unwillingly,” Ailis replied.  “Even those who had originally joined freely had turned against this faction by that point.  They committed horrendous atrocities.  Many even said they’d rather have the old government back than continue to support this one.”

            “And you led people in attempts to escape?” he asked.  “Or overthrow?”

            “Escape,” she answered.  “When I first got there, I tried to escape on my own.  When that didn’t work, I started recruiting others who wanted to leave.  There were a few of these attempts.  They all ended with many of my group dead or tortured as punishment.”  Her hand came up to her face to worry at the deep scar running down her cheek to her jaw.  She had a smaller one below her right eye.

            Astarion gently moved her hand away from the scar and rested their intwined hands on his lap.  “Is that how you got those scars?” he asked.  “Trying to escape?”

            “Helping someone else to escape,” she said and then smiled bitterly at his incredulous expression.  “I had given up trying to escape by the time I got these scars.”

            “But you were still helping others to escape?” he questioned.

            “Not at first.  For a while I just gave up and did what they wanted me to,” she said.  “I’d accepted it as a just punishment for my previous crimes.  I proved to be a good soldier.  After a while they trusted me with training new recruits and then leading small groups in battle.  Eventually, I began to form friendships with others there.  The two relevant to this story were Nash and Marissa and her three kids…”

            “Kids?” Astarion said.  He looked surprised.

            She nodded.  “They recruited anyone they could,” she said.  “They’d take criminals being transported to the gallows like I was to travelers just passing through.  Many of the travelers had children.”

            “Is that what happened to your friend?” he asked.

            “No,” she replied.  “Marissa was in the war almost from the beginning.  Her husband was part of the rebellion and was a supporter of this faction.  Marissa had no idea until after he was killed in one of the first skirmishes.  The faction blamed her husband for the loss of so many lives in that skirmish and so did a lot of the dead’s’ families.  The faction told her if she worked for them, they’d forgive her husband’s failure and keep her and her children safe.

            “There was no choice for her.  She agreed.  She mostly did secretarial work for them.  She wasn’t thrown into battle until the last few years when things were growing increasingly desperate,” she explained.

            “They started putting the kids into battle, didn’t they?” Astarion guessed.

            Ailis nodded.  “When I first arrived, all children stayed in camp,” she said.  “The older kids kept the barracks in order and watched their younger siblings.  But the war wasn’t going well and they couldn’t get enough soldiers.  In the penultimate year of the war, they decreed sons that were fourteen or older would be put into battles.  They would ‘try and keep them off the frontlines’ they said, but we all knew they’d end up there eventually.

            “Marissa was beside herself with worry.  Her oldest son was nine months off from fourteen,” she continued.  “We all saw the war would be ending soon, but not soon enough for her son.  On a night off, me and our other friend, Nash, took her out for drinks to let her vent her worries.  She kept repeating that she had to do something.  That she couldn’t let this happen to her son.”

            Ailis closed her eyes and sighed.  “I was the one who suggested escaping,” she said.  “Marissa was hesitant about it at first.  Punishment for runaways by this point in the war was almost always death, and if they didn’t kill you, they’d make you wish they had.”  She worried at her scar again.

            “You got her to agree to the attempt though, didn’t you?” Astarion said.

            “She came around to the idea,” Ailis said.  “She didn’t like it though.  It didn’t sit well with her.  She didn’t think it was fair that just she and her kids would get out.”

            “Why would she care about that?” Astarion asked perplexed.  “She should have just worried for herself…and her kids, I guess.”  Exasperation and amusement settled across her expression.  The vampire spawn’s lack of empathy tended to reveal itself in inopportune times.  There was no point admonishing him, though.  She’d accepted by this point there were some things Astarion would just never truly understand.

            “Marissa wanted to get more people out,” she continued.  “After some convincing she got me and Nash on board.  Well, she got me on board.  Nash only agreed to it because I was going to be involved.”

            “You and him were involved?” Astarion asked.  She could see he was trying to just sound curious, but she heard a jealous note in his tone.

            “We had an arrangement.  Like ours, really,” she admitted.  “There weren’t any deep feelings.  We both got what we wanted out of the other.  And Nash wasn’t exactly hard to look at.”

            Astarion snorted.  “So, did it work?” he asked.  “Whatever plan you concocted to free people.”

            “For a time,” Ailis said, “but after six or seven months they were cracking down.  Nash insisted we had to stop, at least for some time.  But Marissa’s son would be turning fourteen in just over a month and there was already talk of lowering the age to thirteen.  I insisted that we do one last escape to get Marissa and her kids out.

            “Nash didn’t like it but he agreed if it was just Marissa and her kids I led out.  The night started like every other escape night, but…it all went wrong,” she said, closing her eyes against the painful memory.

            “Nash betrayed you,” Astarion said.

            “No.  Not Nash,” Ailis said.  “The night guard he bribed to ignore anyone he saw escaping.  He might not have done so willingly.  I’ll never know.  They killed him.  Guns went off when we breached the camp.  We ran off into the woods, but they knew our routes.  Marissa and I tried to gather the kids together and come up with an alternate route, but a soldier shot off a gun near us and her little girl ran off frightened right into the open and they…they shot her.”

            “Ailis…”       

            “We went back with them after that,” she continued through her tears.  “They brought us to the General’s tent to interrogate us.  They wanted to know everyone who was involved in the operation.  We did our best to conceal who’d been involved, but in doing so, Marissa incriminated herself by admitting it had been her idea to help families escape.  I tried to intervene; to convince them it was all on me.  I had the history of escape attempts, not Marissa.  All my attempts got me was a knife to the face.  They then forced me to watch as they killed Marissa.  They killed my friend right in front of me and her remaining children.  That was my punishment.  They wouldn’t kill me.  I was too useful to them.”

            “What happened to her two sons?” Astarion asked.

            “Nash got them out,” she replied woodenly.  “He was high ranking in the army.  One of the lead officers had a niece who couldn’t have children.  They lived away from the fighting.  They weren’t involved at all.  They were willing to take them in.”

            “Nash couldn’t have done anything for you or Marissa when you were captured?” he asked.  She could tell he was judging her old friend.

            “No,” she replied, harshly.  “He made it very clear from the beginning when we were planning the operation he wouldn’t lose his position for something he thought was foolish.  He did what he could for us when we were captured and that’s it.  What happened to Marissa and her daughter wasn’t his fault.”

            “It wasn’t your fault either, Ailis,” Astarion said.  “None of what you’ve just told me was your fault.”

            “It was though,” she insisted.  “If I hadn’t planted the idea of escape in her mind, Marissa wouldn’t have thought to include other people in it.  I should have insisted that night that we would only get her and her kids out.  Or I should have caved and agreed with Nash.  He had high rank.  There were things he could have done to keep her son safe.

            “I got Marissa killed.  I got her daughter killed.  I got all the people from my original escape attempts killed,” she said.  “I can’t help the tieflings.  I’ll get them killed.  I’m going to get everyone killed!”

            “Ailis, darling, look at me.  Look at me!” he repeated when she turned her face away.  She reluctantly turned and met his gaze.  He looked very concerned.  “Ailis, what happened to your friend and the others was not your fault.”

            “It was.  I…”

            “Did you force them to try and escape?” he asked.

            “What?” she cried, confused.

            “Did you force them to try and escape?” he repeated.  “Did you threaten pain or death if they didn’t follow you?  Did you blackmail them into joining you?”

            “No!” she cried, appalled.  “Of course not!”

            “Were they aware of the risks they were taking when they agreed to join you?” he grilled.  “Did you tell them the potential consequences?”

            “Yes.  I drilled it into them what could happen if we failed,” she replied.  “Astarion, why…”

            “I’m asking you, darling, because I’m trying to understand why you think you’re at fault,” he said.  “Based on everything you’re telling me, you only gave everyone an option to join you.  You didn’t force them.  You let them know the risks so they made informed decisions.  I’m failing to see how you bare any responsibility for what happened.”

            “I led the attempts.  I was responsible for all their lives.  I am responsible for their deaths,” she said.  “You should leave.  You should let the others know what a failure I am and leave.  Nothing good will come of following me.”

            “I’m not leaving, Ailis,” Astarion said.  “And neither is anyone else.  If you told the others what you just told me they’d tell you the same thing I am.  What happened was not your fault.”

            “I was responsible for all of them.  That makes it…”           

            “That does not make it your fault,” he said firmly.  He gave her a soft expression and gently wiped tears from her face.  “The burden of the failures may be ours, but what happened to those people…that’s not your fault.”

            “You’ll feel differently when I get you and our companions killed,” she whispered.

            “You’re not going to get us killed, Ailis,” he said.  “We’re all getting out of this alive.  We’re not like your previous groups.  You have a group of skilled individuals with you.  You’re not alone in defending everyone.  You have us to reply on.  Everything is going to be fine.”

            “You don’t know that,” she said.

            “No, but I have a feeling,” he replied with a smile.  She said nothing in return.  She just sat there and stared out at the calm waters.  He began to massage her scalp, probably hoping to help her relax, but she couldn’t let her failures go. 

            “Sometimes I think it would have been better if that wagon had reached the gallows,” she said.  His hand stopped moving through her hair.

            “You really think it would have been better if you had died?” he asked.

            “A lot of people would still be alive right now,” she replied.

            “You don’t know that,” Astarion said.  “They could have died later in the war.  They most likely would have.”

            “They’re not the only lives I’m responsible for losing,” she said.  “Trust me, Astarion.  I deserved to be brought to the gallows.”

            “You don’t think four years forced into a war that wasn’t yours was punishment enough?” he questioned.  “You don’t think your guilt is punishment enough?”  She shook her head.  “Well, I do.”  He stood up and she felt her mood plummet even further.  She had wanted to be alone when she came down here, but now it was the last thing she wanted.  She couldn’t blame him for wanting to get away from her though.  She’d just encouraged him to do exactly that.

            He didn’t walk away, though.  Instead, he turned back towards her and held out a hand for her to take.  “I think I know a way to help ease your guilt,” he said giving her a smile.  “Do you trust me enough to give it a try?”

            When they’d first met a few weeks ago, she wouldn’t have agreed to anything he proposed.  At least not without a detailed breakdown of what he intended.  Now though, she took his hand and let him lead her through their camp.  She was relieved to find it was still empty.  She didn’t want to face her companions yet.

            Astarion led her through camp to the abandoned building they’d found.  There had been a squabble over it as most of the group had wanted to take up residence there as it had a bed.  It was decided that no one would set up permanent camp there.  They would use it for group meetings or personal time only.  She guessed the latter was what he had in mind now as she looked at the clean sheets that had been put on the bed.  She felt a spark of irritation.  She should have realized he thought sex would make her feel better.  It was the last thing she wanted right now.

            Still, she would go along with it.  It would be easier than trying to explain why his action was insensitive to her feelings and the argument that would ensue.  It wouldn’t be the first time she endured sex to please a man’s ego and it most likely wouldn’t be the last.  And Astarion was very skilled in bed.  Maybe it would prove a good distraction from her thoughts.  As they approached the bed he let go of her hand and then sat down on the edge of it with his feet shoulder length apart.  He looked at her with a serious expression.

            “Remove your pants and undergarment, Ailis.  They get over my lap,” he ordered.

            Ailis blinked and stared at him dumbly for a moment.  This wasn’t how they usually did this.  “I…what?” she said confused.

            “You wanted to be punished, didn’t you?” he questioned and her face flushed a hot red as she realized what he intended to do.  He smiled wickedly at the sight of her blush.  “I do love it when you blush.  It’s such a rare occasion.”

            “I…I’m not a child,” she protested, though that statement certainly made her feel like one.

            “Only children can be spanked?” Astarion replied with a widening grin.

            “I…I’ve never…”

            “You’ve never received a spanking before?” he questioned, surprised.  “Your mother never had you over her knee?”

            “My mother didn’t believe in hitting children,” she replied, defensively

            “Well, as you’ve just pointed out, you’re not a child,” he said. 

            “I…”  She didn’t finish her statement.  She didn’t know what her statement was.  She squirmed where she stood and stared at the floor, trying to come up with something to say.  Astarion’s feet suddenly came into view, and then she felt his cook fingers caress her chin as he lifted her face so she was looking at him.  He brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ears.

            “You’re rarely this flustered,” he murmured softly.  “What has you concerned?”

            “I don’t know what you’re expecting to get out of this,” she said.

            “He frowned, puzzled.  “Get out of this?” he repeated.

            She flushed.  “I know some people do this for fun,” she said.

            He nodded.  “Yes, and you may find you enjoy this, but that’s not the intended purpose of tonight,” he said.

            “Then what are you getting out of this?” she persisted.  “My pain?”

            His eyes widened.  “Your pain?” he said shocked.  “Ailis, how hard do you think I’m going to hit you?”

            “I don’t know!” she cried.  “I’ve never done anything like this, except for that Loviatar priest.  I don’t know how this works.  I know you enjoyed watching that priest strike me.”  She expected him to get mad, but he just stared at her thoughtfully for a moment.

            “Hold out your wrist, Ailis,” he ordered.  Confused, she did as he asked, holding her arm out in front of her with her palm up.  His own hand struck her wrist before she even saw it coming.  She hissed and drew her arm back, cradling her wrist to her chest.  She gazed at him with a shocked expression.  His own was perfectly neutral.  “Did that hurt?”

            “Yes,” she replied in a tone that made it clear she thought he was crazy for asking.

            “Is the pain unbearable?” he asked in the same neutral tone.

            “No,” she answered, eyebrows furrowed.

            “That’s as hard as I intend to spank you, give or take a little,” Astarion said.  “I’m not going to beat you black and blue.  You’ll be able to sit down tomorrow.”

            “But when the priest…”

            “I didn’t know you very well when you let the priest beat you.  I hadn’t fully decided I trusted you.  I thought you must have been into that sort of thing and responded accordingly.  I was surprised you never asked me to do anything similar when we began having sex.

            “You’re not wrong that I get off on others pain.  I’m not going to lie about that,” he said.  “But the purpose tonight isn’t the pain.  You carry a lot of guilt over your past.  I just want to try to help you release some of it.  As for what I get out of it, well, control.  We don’t have to do this, though, Ailis.  I’m not going to do anything to you that you don’t want.”  She believed him.  Even before she really began to tryst him, she’d trusted him to stop if she asked.  He was always attentive of any boundaries set during sex.

            “Okay,” she finally agreed.  “What do I say if I need you to stop, though?”

            “Just say stop,” he told her moving back to his previous position on the bed.  She didn’t follow yet.

            “Don’t people use specific words for this sort of thing, though” she questioned, “because they might say stop on instinct?”

            “Yes.  A safe word is usually put in place for that reason.  However, due to our personal histories if you say stop, I’m going to take that at face value,” he said.  “So don’t tell me to stop, Ailis, unless you really want or need me to, okay?”

            She nodded.  “Okay,” she agreed.

            “All right then.  Remove your pants and undergarment and come here,” he ordered pointing to a spot right next to him rather than demanding she get over his lap right away like he had originally.  She moved slowly as she completed his orders.  A nervous anticipation had her heart racing, and she couldn’t help trembling a little.  Astarion noticed and took her hand in his, gently massaging her knuckles with his thumb.

            “Are you all right, darling?” he asked, giving her a soft look.  “We can stop.”

            “No, I’m all right,” she said.

            He nodded and his expression turned stern.  “Do you understand why you’re being punished?” he asked.

            “For failing to save…”

            “No,” Astarion said and she gave him a puzzled look.

            “You said this was to try to relieve my guilt,” she said.

            “It is, but I’m not going to punish you for something that wasn’t your fault or something you already received punishment for,” he said.  “Pick something else.  Something more recent.”

            “I shouldn’t have yelled at our companions,” she said after a moment.  “I was being unfair.”

            “You certainly were,” he said.  “You shouldn’t have taken your problems out on them.”

            “I know.  I’m sorry,” she whispered.

            “I know you are.  Still, you need to receive punishment for your actions,” he said.  “How many times should I spank you?  How many have you earned?”

            “I…I don’t…” she looked at him helplessly.  She had no basis for this.  She felt completely lost in the moment.  Luckily, he seemed to understand.  He gently squeezed her hand in reassurance.

            “How about I give you two options, and you choose what works best for you?” he suggested and she nodded her agreement.  “Option one: I give you ten harder strikes.  Option two: I give you twenty with fifteen being the same strength I slapped your wrist earlier, and the last five a bit harder.  Either way, you’re going to be able to sit tomorrow, Ailis.”

            Ailis thought about it for a moment.  Ten sounded more appealing than twenty.  She wouldn’t have to be in an embarrassing position for as long.  However, the slap he’d given to her wrist earlier had stung and the skin was still a little pink.  The skin on her ass would be even more sensitive.  She’d never done this and she wasn’t sure she was comfortable having him hit her any harder.  Getting through five hard strikes seemed better than ten and if she couldn’t handle it and had to tell him to stop, she’d have already taken at least sixteen.  She’d be able to say she gave it a fair chance.

            “Twenty,” she said quietly.  He nodded and gave her hand a final squeeze before letting go.

            “All right then, darling,” he said.  “Get over my lap.”  She awkwardly positioned herself over his lap.  He helped her maneuver so his one leg helped support her upper torso even as her head hung down just below his knee.  She held onto his one knee with one hand and the sheets on the bed with the other.  Her ass was completely exposed to him, and she trembled with nerves.  She jumped when he placed a hand on the center of her back.

            “Try to relax, darling.  You’re safe,” he soothed, rubbing her back a little.  She took a few deep breaths and slowly felt her muscles relax.  “That’s it.  Are you ready for me to begin?”

            “Y-Yes,” she said.  “Do I count them out loud?”

            “Hmm, that is an appealing thought,” he said in a teasing tone before growing serious again, “but not tonight.  We can examine that possibility another night if you decide you like this or find it helpful.  I don’t want to push limits tonight.  Now, take one last deep breath for me before I begin.”  She did as he said, and the first stroke came as she let the breath out.

            She let out a startled squeak.  It hurt.  It felt worse than the strike to her wrist had.  Still, it was not unbearable.  She hadn’t quite processed it, when the second strike hit, and then she stopped thinking as he continued to land blow after blow.  By the time he struck her ten times she realized she’d made a mistake in choosing twenty strikes.  Her skin where he’d hit her felt like it was on fire and the pain was increasing with each strike even though the strike’s strength hadn’t changed yet.  When he reached the fifteenth strike her tears finally spilled over and down her cheeks.

            He stopped after the fifteenth strike for a moment, but any relief she might have felt vanished when he shifted his leg so the seat of her ass raised to a higher position.  She whimpered as she thought of where the last five, harder blows were going to land.  He hushed her and comfortingly stroked her back.

            “It’s just five more, darling, and then you’ll be done,” he assured her.  “Do you think you’re ready to apologize now?”

            “Y-Yes.  I’m sorry!  I’m sorry!” she cried.  “I didn’t mean to act like that.  I couldn’t stop myself.  I…I…I…”

            “Shhh.  Shh, darling,” he soothed.  “Breathe for me.”  She tried to do as he said and took big gulps of air in until her breathing found a rhythm again.  “Good girl.  I’m going to give you the last five strikes now.  I want you to try and release your guilt with them, all right?”

            She nodded and then the first blow hit and any thought of trying not to cry anymore escaped her.  She started sobbing and it took everything in her to not ask him to stop as the next blow hit.  She had felt worse pain before than this, but this just felt so intimate.  She wanted to bare it for him.  Right now, she would do anything for him, so at the last strike, she tried to release some of her guilt.

            Astarion helped move her into a sitting position on his lap.  He managed to adjust her so her ass was mostly between his thighs so nothing rubbed against her reddened skin.  She buried her face in his shoulder and sobbed ash she clutched to him like her life depended on it.  She stroked her back and hair and pressed a kiss on the top of her head.

            “Shh.  It’s all right now, darling.  All is forgiven.  You’re all right,” he soothed.  He repeated a variation of these words until her sobs turned to cries and then to whimpers until finally, she ran out of tears.  She rested, slumped against him, feeling more exhausted than she had in her whole life.  They sat like that for a few minutes and then she felt his hand slide between her legs and a cool finger split hear seam, running the length of it before brushing over her clit.  She let out a shaky gasp.

            “What do you think, darling?  Based on how wet you are, you seemed to enjoy that.  Should we move on to more enjoyable activities?” he asked.  She thought about it for a moment.  She was surprised to find she had evidence of arousal, but in the back of her mind she’d been aware of a stirring of heat between her legs that was different from the heat on her ass from the spanking.

            Still, she shook her head.  “No.  I’m sorry.  I don’t feel up to it,” she said, her resolve to endure it from earlier cracking.  She knew he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it.  “I’m sorry.  I know you were planning on having sex tonight, but…”

            “It’s all right, Ailis,” he cut her off.  “Don’t apologize.  We both have to want it, remember?”  She smiled and nodded.  He moved his hand back to a more acceptable spot on her thigh.  “So, what do you want, darling?  How are we spending our time tonight?”  She opened her mouth with an immediate response but then just as quickly clamped her mouth shut and looked down at her lap.  “What’s wrong, Ailis.”

            “Nothing,” she said.  “It’s just, what I want…you won’t like it.  I’m trying to think of something else.”

            “Ailis, darling, look at me,” he ordered and she raised her face to meet his eyes.  “You’re just tried something very new to you that had you completely out of your element tonight.  You’re going to get whatever you want.”  He grinned.  “Within reason of course.  So, tell me, what do you want.”

            “I just want to naked cuddle,” she said.  “And I want you to stay with me all night.”

            Astarion nodded.  “Very reasonable,” he said and kissed her forehead.  He slid her to sit on the mattress.  Her full weight was on her ass though and she felt the skin burn as it brushed against the sheets.  She jumped up from the bed and clutched her ass.  Astarion laughed and she gave him a hurt look. 

            “I’m sorry, darling,” he said as he stood up.  “The look on your face was just funny, that’s all.  Here.”  He helped slide her shirt and upper garment off.  “Stand there for a moment while I undress and then we’ll get you on the bed comfortably.”  He kissed her forehead again and she stood waiting as he quickly undressed.  When he was naked, he sat down on the bed and then moved until he was lying down on his back in the middle.  He held out his arms for her.  “Come here, darling.” 

            She climbed onto the bed and crawled over to him.  He pulled her down so she rested mostly on top of him.  Her head rested on his shoulder.  She hissed when he pulled the top sheet over them, but the sting only last for a minute.  He stroked her back and left gentle kisses to her forehead every few minutes.  Her eyelids grew heavy and she felt sleep trying to claim her.  She tried to fight it, but Astarion wasn’t having it.

            “Go to sleep, darling,” he ordered her gently.  “You need to rest.”

            “I want you to stay,” she murmured through a yawn.             “I’m not going anywhere, Ailis,” he promised.  “I’ll be here when you wake up.”  She smiled sleepily as he pressed another kiss to her forehead.  It was the last thing she felt before sleep finally claimed her. 

[wake-me-up-inside-imagines]

I know I ask a lot of questions, but I’m just legitimately so interested in your characters and story-

Charlie mentioned knowing Ren for 20 years. Makes me wonder how the whole pack met/came to be. Did they come in pairs/threes? All individually? Started with 2 and grew?

Don't feel bad for asking questions about my ocs, I love getting them! Receiving questions gives me an excuse to rant about my ocs lol.

(I'll probably end up writing some stuff about the pack members meeting eventually so this will be a relatively short version of events, but if anyone wants to avoid spoilers for this universe, maybe skip this one)

Also slight nsfw implications with the word "mating"

The pack came together in twos, with Leo being the last addition.

Ren and Charlie are childhood best friends who met each other when they were around five years old. They've known each other for the majority of their lives, and spent just as much time after meeting as best friends, hanging out on a regular basis throughout grade school. It took them up until their later high school years to confess their feelings for each other after ages of pining and denial, but once they did, they became more inseparable than before. They officially became a mated couple during their freshman year of college, which is pretty young age to be mated, but they knew they'd spend the rest of their lives together, so they weren't too concerned.

Micah and Rain also mated pretty early, although it was under more serious circumstances than Ren and Charlie's. The two met during the summer before their first semester of college at Micah's job, and the two hit it off instantly. Rain had moved away from his abusive parents as soon as he finished high school and had no idea what he was doing, so Micah and his family helped the beta out as much as possible while he figured himself out. Once they realized they were going to the same college, they decided to room together, and it wasn't too long before they began dating, becoming nearly as inseparable as Ren and Charlie were.

Towards the end of the year, Rain got word that his parents were trying to find him and bring him "home." He was terrified of what they would do if they ended up finding him, so he desperately asked Micah of they could mate as soon as possible for his safety. His parents, despite their violent nature, were cowards when it came to others who could potentially cause problems for them, including alphas that were bigger and stronger than they were (which Micah was). Rain knew they wouldn't touch him if he was mated to an alpha, so the two mated pretty soon after Rain heard about what his parents were doing in fear of his safety. Both of them had hoped to wait a little longer before mating just to make sure they could make things work, but Micah loved Rain too much to put him at risk, and Rain was fairly certain he wouldn't want to spend a day in his life without Micah.

The four kind of knew each other prior to both pairs mating via classes and proximity on campus, but it wasn't until they were all mated to their partner that they began getting closer. It was really just a case of them growing closer over the freshman and sophomore years of college, eventually landing them as a pack somewhere during that time period, with both couples courting each other. They ended up getting an apartment the summer after their sophomore years ago, and the right set of circumstances led to the whole pack being mated to each other. As short of a time as that seems, mating in the mate madness universe usually takes much shorter of a time to happen than marriage does in our world (mostly due to how quickly bonding happens).

The pack met Leo during the beginning of their junior year of college. Micah ended up in a class with him, and fell in love instantly. He told the rest of the pack about Leo, and after watching him around campus for a couple weeks, the four of them decided to start courting him. A couple weeks later and Leo started dating them, officially becoming a part of the pack (at least in their eyes).

Unlike the others, Leo didn't mate with the pack until about three years after they started dating. He considered the pack to be his mates and they thought the same of him, but he wanted to be 100% certain that he was ready to be mated before committing. He also wanted to make sure the pack was ok with adding a fifth person to the pack, as four people was already quite the commitment. Large packs aren't unusual in the mate madness universe, but it still requires a lot of attention and communication. Either way, everyone was happy to wait for Leo to be ready, and it made becoming his mates all the more sweet once he gave them the go ahead.

During the currently posted chapters of Mate Madness, the pack is between the ages of twenty-five and twenty-six. So Ren + Charlie and Micah + Rain have been mated to each other for 5-6 years, they've been mated to each other for 4-5 years, and Leo's been mated to them for 2-3 years.

I hope that answered your question!

[the-ace-with-spades]

Still on my Pacific Rim AU brainrot so here we go with the fic idea that's not leaving my head...

Backstory - so, if anyone's seen the Dossier Files I made, you might already know bits of it but:

Everything from Top Gun (1986) except for Goose's death still happened, we just move the event by around 10 years into the future so it was like 1996/7 instead. Kaiju start attacking in 2006, Carole dies in the attack on San Diego, and Mav and Goose become one of the first co-pilots along with Ice and Slider.

Goose dies in Romeo Blue when they're still connected and Mav adopts Bradley (who is 13/14 at the time). He and Ice are married already and Slider, who has another baby on the way, retires from combat after Goose's death, scared that he's going to orphan his kids, too.

Ice and Mav start drifting together and they are The Dream Team™. Obviously, Bradley watches it all as he's being moved from Shatterdome to Shatterdome with the Lucky Seven Team.

He turns seventeen, gets into the Jaeger Academy Program and the whole pulling the papers happens but Bradley is stubborn and a legacy kid so the current Marshal from their Shatterdome (I imagine Viper, maybe?) goes over Mav's head and he gets in and starts attending at eighteen. This made the situation between Brad, Mav, and Ice tense as hell (especially Mav because Bradley knows Ice is too soft to ever tell him no and it was not his initiative) but they still talk

Bradley aces the training and during it, finds his co-pilot, Darcy (OC, obviously). They get the newest Mark-III to pilot, Gipsy Danger and they instantly become The Dream Team™ too. Bradley becomes PPDC's poster boy as the late Bradshaw's kid (no one knows about the Mav and Ice thing...) and Darcy is the youngest pilot to enter the program and one the few Aussie pilots that qualified in the past few years. They're the new duo of the PR team basically and they're sold off as celebrities when they have a win after a win.

They take a year off when Darcy gets pregnant, in reserve in LA, and when they're back to active duty and Knifehead happens and Bradley goes through the exact same thing Mav went through - his co-pilot dies when they're still connected. Darcy's mind never leaves his brain and he can still feel her.

Just before this, Ice gets diagnosed with cancer and stops piloting to basically not die under the neural load. Mav is looking for a new pilot.

Something that would be a big spoiler happens between Mav and Bradley and Bradley leaves PPDC.

Mav and Ice are visiting the training program with the new recruits and Jake, the cocky son of a bastard, challenges Mav to a fight and they accidently find out they're drift compatible. And Jake becomes Mav's new co-pilot for Striker Eureka.

The world goes to shit, Ice is running PPDC as renegades and they're running out of pilots, and after over 4 years, he tracks Bradley down to where he's working as a cargo pilot at the Anti-Kaiju Wall. He doesn't know one thing though - that Bradley has a kid, a three-year-old daughter.

They arrive in Tokyo Shatterdome and Bradley meets Natasha, who, in Ice's mind is a great candidate for his drift partner (and becomes his daughter's favorite very quickly), and Bob, one of the leading upgrade engineers for the re-commissioned Gipsy. And Jake, the biggest ass Bradley's met who has a problem with him even though they've never met before.

Now, Jake is a bigger ass than usually because he had a celebrity crush on Bradley - or rather a Crush with capital C, posters in his bedroom, interviews recorded and saved on his laptop, t-shirts with Gipsy Danger and Jake Bradshaw written in the back of his math notebook included. He had daydreamed about meeting Bradley and impressing him and becoming a co-pilot pair ala Ice and Mav and when he disappeared right before Jake had an opportunity to meet him in Sydney Shatterdome, he was Mad™. It subsided with the years going and the longer Bradley was gone, the more he was becoming PPDC's new poster boy. In Jake's mind, he went from zero to hero and Bradley went from hero to zero.

And then Bradley shows up at his 'Dome and he realizes the crush isn't gone at all and he's Fucking Mad™ about it. And then he discovers Bradley's got a kid.

Some smaller details I might include somehow:

Nat was one of the crew of the Crimson Typhoon up until a year before.

Jake is half-Aussie and the accent switches places with the Texan drawl sometimes (he learned to hold it back because his dad didn't like it when he spoke with his mama's accent). Everyone thinks it's fake but Bradley realizes it's genuine because Darcy was Aussie. (Also, I added this detail because I was struggling to find a reason why Mav and Jake would have an Australian Jaeger as Americans...)

Slider's family (aside from his eldest daughter who is in college) is at the 'Dome with him, including Sara.

Bradley and Darcy's drivesuits were metallic red, now Brad only wears black. Mav and Jake wear metallic green, but it used to be metallic blue when he and Ice were drifting together.

Bradley's daughter had multiple Jaeger Plushies and ironically, her favorite is Striker Eureka because it has a dog in the decal and 'has a funny name and funny face'

When Bradley leaves, he leaves his dog with Mav and Ice (one he got when he was seventeen) and when Jake moves to the 'Dome, he basically announces the dog is now his, not Mav's, because he likes Jake better (I still don't know what dog breed, tho?? I'm hanging onto a beagle/miniature german shepherd atm)

Sara's and Ice's names are spelled this way (Sara and Tomasz) because that's how they'd be spelled if they were Polish.

Bradley carries a boombox into the jaeger every time he rides - uses his dad's and mom's cassette tapes. He's also got a couple of walkmans and his daughter her own too - decorated with stickers and glitter.

Things bordering on spoiler-y + additional dossier for Darcy and Brad's medical report under the cut:

The shit that happened between Mav and Brad was that Ice had the idea that hey, maybe you could drift together, and they could, really well at that, Mav just...didn't react well? It ended with them almost blowing up Lucky Seven and Ice erased the records so no one knew the details. They both said some shit and Bradley decided he's never trusting Mav again and he's got nothing holding him in the PPDC.

Bradley and Nat are compatible, they're actually really compatible for a pair of people who are not related/never met before, but Bob is going to be Nat's co-pilot, and Bradlye and Jake will ride together, is all I'm saying.

The mockup files not included in the previous post (with a small cameo from Penny):

Text in ALTs

(also, going to tag you here, @redfurrycat, because I thought you might like it 👉👈)

[justatalkingface]

what's your opinion on the big 3? When I was hyperfoxed on this series they were the thing I care Abt the most (I enjoyed season 4, obv I'd change some stuff now but I still remember it being atleast ok)

I hate how dirty they did my girl nejire, as far as I'm aware they didn't even do anything with her after the whole pagent thing she just got a small backstory about how she was sad (don't know all of it I haven't been keeping up that well w the manga)

mirios not having a quirky and having to save eri (a girl who I can't imagine would be that skilled at the age she is and has been training on lizards to give his quirk back all together, I'd imagine it taking a few more months but bnhas time is shit so) and coming back in the war arc to punch one person and then basically do noting iicr

The only decently written one was amajiki, I wish they had more going on I think they have a fun dynamic (w them helping taking care of eri and me rlly liking idk what it's called but I love the fluff it brings) :(

Lots of mixed feelings, in all honesty. Lots of mixed feelings.

I'll admit, a big part of my mixed feelings about them is they showed up as the latest, 'Stomp on Izuku's everything' at the point in the story where it was becoming obvious that there was always something stomping on Izuku, and that gave me a bad first impression on them I've never been able to shake... which isn't helped by how they're connected to the clusterfuck of Nighteye, of all people, which is kind of my whole thing with Mirio (warning; I am biased):

As a person, he's obviously nice, but as a character, basiclly his entire reason for existing was, 'give Izuku an existential crisis' and I don't think I've ever forgiven him for that, really. His entire character is just bigger, stronger, older, happier, more capable, more confident, more successful, more loved Izuku, who had a Quirk his whole life and only had to dig deep to find out how strong it, and he, was all along.

Unironically. It's....

It's a really bad look, to be blunt; he feels kind of like a bad fanfiction character written by a bad writer who wanted to put their super special OC in the story, except he's canon.

Since we've never seen him even think something unheroic, there's really nothing that distinguishes him from that impression factual statement, which, again, makes it hard for me to give a shit about him, or even remember him... which is a problem Hori seems to share, lol. It doesn't help that I loathe Sir Nighteye and that most of his development time is spent admiring him, to boot, and that his parts of the story are either empty or focused on a living plot device I can't quite like no matter how hard I try because of how blatant the emotional manipulation is about the biggest story breaking, SOD shattering plot device until Stars and Stripes showed up.

If he ever got any kind of development to flesh him out a human being rather than being either Izuku and/or a heroic archetype, it'd help, but beyond all of that his biggest personality trait is liking jokes, and that barely even comes up. Or, rather, considering both the Final Arc and his response to Bakugou's name, along with Nighteye's own tendencies, 'jokes', maybe.

He doesn't deserve it, I admit it, it's not his fault, but I just can't get past that. He also doesn't deserve to just be forgotten until his big moment of a butt joke, but... MHA, everyone. In all honesty, I'd just like him better if his entire story arc didn't exist in and as some of the worst parts of the Overhaul arc, but he's tainted by that fact.

I freely admit that I am unfairly biased against him, so take all of that with a mountain of salt.

As a side note though, god, the story doesn't seem to realize how badly Nighteye is using the poor kid; Mirio thinks Nighteye is training him because he's worthy, while Nighteye mainly seems to be doing it because he's the closest thing to an All Might clone he can get, bar him actually cloning All Might, even if he grew to like him for who he is. I'm not sure Nighteye ever thought of Mirio with just his Quirk as anything more than a temporary situation; even at the start of canon, when on his own merits he's rising to fame with how successful he is, Nighteye's overall focus is still about getting AFO into the kid.

I almost wish I could see Nighteye explaining how all of his training came down to getting All Might's Quirk, just to see MIrio react and tear Nighteye down a peg about it, except Hori's history of handling these kinds of things means he'd never be allowed to be properly offended on his own behalf, the poor bastard.

Moving on, Tamaki. Out of all of them, he's had the biggest of an on-screen story arc, and in a intellectual way his Quirk is easily the most interesting. Unfortunately, while he has a personality, it feels so bland at times that he's far easier to remember for his Quirk than who he is.

I liked his story, really, but at the time it was overshadowed by Mirio and his everything, and by the time he showed back up it was clear how irrelevant it and he was, so it was more about how (admittedly, very) cool he get his Quirk to be than it was about him, and with some brutal honesty, it's probably because his Quirk is so interesting that he even got that much focus beyond that initial arc by Hori.

And... Nejirie.

In a combat sense she's easily the best of them, really; Mirio is almost purely defensive, which limits him (especially if he's not surprising someone with it) while Tamaki's Quirk, while flexible, is so conditional in ways that can easily hold him back (we only ever see him fight with full preparation; if he's not gearing for a fight he'd be easy to ambush), and like a lot of things in the Final Arc, his big laser canon thing is.... questionable.

Nejirie, though, is just simply powerful. In a setting where everyone has one power and one main application of that power, where you either fly or blast things, but not both, she's the closest I've seen to a 'traditional' super hero, like you'd see in Marvel or DC.

At the same time, though, out of the three of them she least has a story, for obvious reasons, and it's a disgrace, really. If Hori had just spent some time on her, on the her backstory that apparently exists (yeah, I'm not sure where that is either), she could have been so interesting... but really, all she is is the Girl Teammate. Her personality traits are The Girl Teammate's personality traits. She's just The Girl Teammate stamped over all of the interesting stuff, and it's such a waste, it really is.

And finally, as a unit? The Big Three is a shiny toy that Hori forgot in the corner somewhere as soon as he got bored with it. He spent a few minutes oohing and aahing over them, focusing really hard on developing interesting powers, how they could be used, and how strong they were, only to start to lose interest as soon as those powers were established, and he was writing the three of them off before their introductory arc was even over.

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @elsie-writes!

OC in 15

Hmm, who am I gonna do... How about Mashal?

“I suppose cloud-watching isn’t for everyone."

“Wait, is siren music only siren music if it’s performed and written by a siren, or is it, like, its own genre at this point?”

“No, I think we have bigger things to focus on right now. And I though I don’t remember what pig shit smells like, I’m pretty keen on keeping it that way.”

“I thought I might know how to do it on muscle memory, but I guess not.”

“I’m optimistic. It’ll probably only take a few minutes to get this whole affair over and done with!”

“Go back to sleep. It’s just the wind.”

“Huh, alright. Whenever people call me 'it,' I feel like an object. Like I’m not really alive.”

“I don’t have my papers. My friend and I have been pretending I’m non-sentient so that we could both get a job here. Please don’t tell anyone.”

"Ask your heart. Can you kill this man? Are you willing to buy that death with your own?”

“Say…. I was trying to remember from the other day, what was that riddle you told me? The one your dad taught to you.”

“I don’t know what you are. But you can bleed, and all things that bleed can die. You’ve got one chance to answer me honestly and completely, wretch. What did you do with Astra?”

"Did I look like him? So reserved, so… refined. Did I have his chin or his nose?"

“Then that confidence has to be yours. It’s all you—you just need to realize how far you’ve come.”

“Please, Elsind, I’m begging you to think about this. You’re playing judge, jury, and executioner for a man you’ve never met. There’s real evil out there. Evil that isn’t a representation of a systemic problem.”

“You’re nothing like her.”

I'll tag @sergeantnarwhalwrites @dyrewrites @melodicwriter @elizaellwrites and open tag :)

[grunge-princess-nymph]

Here’s an idea that I had recently!

(Yan!Mariska X Male OC) Mariska happens to be on the farm like usual while waiting for the annoying girl Juliet Starling to arrive. However yet, someone different comes along, someone… new. It’s another one of those pesky Zombie Hunters, apparently his name is Marco, yet when he and Mariska meet up… they don’t feel the need to fight. After a bit of discussion, Mariska finds out that Marco is just as much of a stoner as she is, and that’s all the reason she needs to proclaim Marco as her own personal human, determined to keep Demo to herself from the other Dark Purveyors as well as any other Zombie Hunters who try to kill Demo for falling for an enemy, and a Dark Purveyor nonetheless. (Sorry if this looks weird, first time making a request lol)

💚 ✉️ Now we're talking! I nevered wrote anything with someone else's oc before, but it doesn't hurt to try.

🫧Rest In Peace🫧

Pairing: Yandere!Mariska x Male!Oc

Genre: Romance

Warning: Kidnapping, Obsessive Behavior

Fandom: Lollipop Chainsaw Repop

Summary: As Marco battles some zombies in the farm, he runs into a zombie who was just as chill as he was.

Author's Note: The oc belongs to one of my followers who requested this.

Marco didn't know how he gotten himself in this mess.

First, he was saving his dad's farm that was being overwhelmed by zombies. The second, he was stuck inside a bubble floating around in a unknown dimension that not even him had ever been to.

Just as he felt he should've stuck with Juliet back at the school and dealt with the zombies right then and there, he tenses up when he hears a familiar voice from behind.

"How you like it, love?"

A chill went down his spine as the thought had immediately slipped passed his brain as he knew the voice too well as he stood stiffened like a statue.

Coming from behind his oval-shaped prison, Mariska floated close by him with a sweet, yet a bit creepy, smile that makes Marco lose every movement of his bones from the inside of his entire body. Not out of fear, but out of....

....shyness?

"...I hoped there's enough space for you...but you know I can't risk my brothers get they're hands on you..."

"Mariska...I..." Marco stuttered under his own breath.

"...Now, now....no need to thank me....I only wants what's best for my lover..."

Marco nevered had any problems with girls before, especially at school, and this woman was a zombie. But somehow, she seems to somehow catch his eye when they first met.

...Just a few hours ago...

"...Okay, now where can find one of those dark purveyors our sensei had said about?" Marco had found himself on farm that was already crowded with zombiefied farmers. "...Really ironic to sense one of them at my dad's work place."

Like Juliet's family, her mother & his siblings are monster hunters. Only instead of zombies, they usually hunt demons. And so, this was his first time actually hunting them.

As of during this time, he was in the middle of the zombie outbreak where he ended up going into a much bigger problem than he could ever imagine in his life.

"Stay focus, Marco... This is your first time to hunt a overlord that just so happens to be a zombie.... and so far, you had been to get through these zombies... So, it shouldn't be hard... probably..."

Just then, he accidentally tripped over something and fall straight onto his face flat. "Ow! Who the hell would place a log standing in the middle of..." He started to say when he turned and realized that what he trip over was not a log, but a giant....

"...Mushroom?"

A big vegetable almost reaching his height, and strangely glowing in a bluish color which was more than just unusual of healthy snack. "Where did it even come from?"

As he stared at it, his stomach started to growl a little. He didn't had time to eat breakfast before this whole disaster because he was running late for school. And due to the circumstances, it wouldn't be thr best time to go to order something from UberEats.

"...I'm sure that it wouldn't hurt to have a eat and run..." He said, feeling a little famished from fighting the zombies. "...Plus, it doesn't look like one of those poisoness mushrooms you find in a forest outside of town or somewhere...so, it can't be dangerous."

He could not be any more wrong...

When he took one bite of it, he couldn't help but not recognize the texture or flavor... "....Strange....I nevered tasted something so..."

Before he knew what happen next, he blackout instantly.

(Part 2 coming tomorrow morning or evening)

[riddlerosehearts]

Okay now EYE must ask you - how are you liking BG3??? How far are you?? Tell me about your Tav!!!! (Please and thank you <3)

hi!! 💖 i only started the game a few days ago and it was an impulse decision i made after having previously told a friend of mine that i definitely wanted to play it but that it'd probably take me a while to get around to it (and, because i thought i wouldn't play anytime soon i hadn't really been trying to avoid spoilers). but, i have the PC version and while it generally runs just fine, my computer is kind of slow and the game is so big that it took hours to download and install. so i kind of went ahead and started to come up with a whole character idea during that time LOL. sorry if my explanations of things get a bit too rambly/disorganized. i'm actually not very far in the game at all yet, i've been spending a ton of time doing stuff in the druids grove and i'm supposed to go find halsin but i haven't even gotten karlach in my party yet! i've recruited all the main companions except for her but i am excited to meet her. gonna put the rest of this under a cut for length.

my only background with DND is that i listened to the first campaign of the adventure zone and i've watched the legends of vox machina show. i also have a friend who's super into her own DND campaign and another friend who's told me a lot about dimension 20, specifically fantasy high--and i've considered trying it out for her but haven't gotten around to it yet! i think she actually told me the same thing about the episode lengths making it easier to get into than critical role, because i had tried critical role and it was just so long that i couldn't stick with it. but, yeah, i've also looked at the forgotten realms wiki a bit but i've never actually played DND. i have played skyrim and final fantasy 14 and some other similar RPGs with customizable blank-slate protagonists, and in those types of games i always have to make OCs to roleplay as--usually i'll think up a basic idea to start with and then flesh the character out as i get into the game. they're never really self-inserts but i do often project onto them a little.

so, in games like these my first character is usually an elf that specializes in elemental/destructive magic. idk why, that's just what i've always liked. in ff14 i started out as a black mage without knowing it was the hardest class to play LMAO. soooo i went into this planning to create a high elf sorcerer, but as i started writing out ideas and thinking about what to do, i ended up creating a half-high elf bard. they're transmasc/nonbinary and in my head they use he/they pronouns, but i picked the nb option in the character creator and that causes npcs to actually use they/them in dialogue which i think is so cool. i love that the character creator is so inclusive in regards to gender.

anyway, i named them elenion, which is something i took from the lord of the rings universe because i'm a huge nerd. in LOTR it's an elvish word that basically means "of the stars". here's a couple screenshots i took when i first started. let's just ignore the fact that this hairstyle clips into elf ears (and also that the face preset is from a mod i downloaded).

i didn't really give him a tragic backstory or even the most interesting story haha--i'm wanting to do something bigger and angstier with another character on a second playthrough when i'm more familiar with the lore and world of the game. and i'll probably also end up changing or expanding on some things about this character later, but for now i just kind of made a normal guy with normal problems. i had this idea that his father, a human who attracted the attention of a beautiful elf woman, was also a bard and was a very successful musician in his youth. so elenion has always shared his father's passion and dreamed of being like him, being able to effortlessly tell incredible tales and inspire crowds of people through song, but no matter how much he studies and practices he never feels good enough. if he seems confident it's usually just because he's gotten really good at faking it. he's also pretty reserved and often avoids having to talk about himself by asking a lot of questions. see, i kind of wanted to specifically find a way to not roleplay the usual sort of loud, flirty, goofy bard, lol. not that i dislike those kinds of characters or anything though!

however, bards are meant to be super charismatic, witty, and persuasive and of course the game strongly encourages that with the dialogue options and skill bonuses you get. so my way of explaining this is to have elenion be a bit like raine from the owl house, in that they may be shy, but they're very firm in their ideals and are no pushover when it comes to protecting themself or their allies. they're clever and have a snarky side to them, and they're genuinely friendly and caring in a way that gives them a sense of quiet charisma. which reminds me that one of the spells i gave them at the start was sleep, and it's made me imagine that when they were a kid they tried calming a crying baby by playing a lullaby on their lute and accidentally ended up casting their first spell.

oh, and, i also wasn't really sure at first where in the world i wanted elenion to come from but i decided on something pretty quickly after getting multiple of those dialogue options suggesting that the protagonist is baldurian! i pictured them growing up in a somewhat small town with their family but moving to baldur's gate as an adult, hoping that if they left the comfort of their home and started to journey out into the world a little they'd eventually find their spark and become the bard they wanted to be. unfortunately they've had little luck so far because even after all this time they can't see that maybe their whole fixation on trying to be just like their father and achieve the exact same kind of success that he had is holding them back. the fact that their father died the year after they moved away hasn't helped either. and now, in the middle of traveling to a historical site that they'd wanted to see in person and use as inspiration for a song, they've been abducted by mindflayers and are struggling with the massive upheaval that this has brought into their relatively mundane life.

so. yeah. my tav for this first playthrough may not be the most unique or exciting character but i like him! i like figuring out what kind of choices he'll make and thinking up new ideas for what he likes and how he sees the world. also, i find it funny how in your reply to my ask you said you thought you'd be into gale but then you fell for astarion--because i thought that i'd be all over the edgy, brooding, snarky vampire man, but it turns out gale is so charming and funny that i'm probably going to romance him first. i'm also pretty intrigued by shadowheart and wyll but i'm so early in the game that i can't even say who i think my overall favorite companion will be because they all seem so interesting!! even karlach despite the fact that i haven't actually met her yet, i've seen a bunch of cool gifsets of her and my brother told me he's been romancing her on his playthrough. i really need to go find her soon.

i'm sure you can tell from everything i wrote here that i am definitely enjoying the game LOL. i can already tell that there's just so many different things to do and see, that i will both need and want to do a lot of different playthroughs and that it's going to be something that sticks with me. nothing wrong with using guides and walkthroughs btw! i do it too because i'm worried about missing too many things and have the world's worst sense of direction even with a minimap. honestly i probably need to look up some guides for certain mechanics that i don't feel like i've really figured out yet. there's a sarcophagus trap in the ruins early in the game that got me SO stuck and got my whole party wiped and then i looked up a video and found out you could turn off the whole trap system by pushing a switch... i felt so stupid askjdfgf.

anyway, i think this got to be way too long of a reply so i will stop here! but if you ever wanna tell me more about your tav or anything definitely feel free to and i hope you're having an awesome day!

[deadrlngers]

OC TAG GAME.

i was tagged by @aragorngf and @devilbrakers to categorize some ocs and use this picrew, thank you so much ily both <3

i'm tagging: @uldwynsovs @nuclearstorms @morvaris @reaperkiller @risingsh0t @florbelles @nuwanders @nokstella @faarkas @indorilnerevarine @malefiicarum @katsigian @swanfey @necroticpetals @saintjudegf @denerims @shadowglens and all the ppl i probably forgot or that want to do this!!

-- FAVORITE OC.

vesper moxley + fenix hayes — cp2077

just started and already cheating sorry. listen. i said this multiple times already but in my mind they're literally a package deal, buy one take two. if you ever spent 5 minutes talking to me or looking at my blog you know they literally live in my mind jdfnkds i've gave them infinite amounts of love, care and attention. i'll be honest, i was going to put only fenix here at first (which is crazy that an oc that was supposed to be just a backstory plot point came this far, i've poured into him too much of what's home to me that now he took the shape of my walls, my bad). but. look at that picrew of vesper..SHE'S SO CUTE I'M SO IN LOVE WITH HER <3

-- NEWEST OC.

maverick de soto — infamous if

maverick maeve mav rick eve, i gave them so many nicknames already and we're still are like, at the start of the whole if. they are a cunt, they would rather jump off a cliff than admit when they're wrong, she loves fights and antagonizing whoever falls in their trap..and they love their friends more than anything. i can't wait to see the if unfold because i love maeve SO much already!!

-- OLDEST OC.

selene — oblivion

not counting my characters from original works, selene is the oldest oc i have. i've played oblivion lots of times and she (for the most part) always been there with changes through the years. i went off with the moon as a concept for her, "she's a dreamer from the moon" is a line that always makes me think of her. selene is the unwilling hero, the one that got dragged into smth bigger than herself and slowly, since she had no choice, took the shape of the role they imposed on her. she found a mirage of a home for a little while, only for that to be taken away from her. it's truly not worth it to be a hero, huh?

-- MEANEST OC.

violante waesphine — baldur's gate 3

a difficult battle between vio, akira & zefyr but in the end i went for vio. saying "mean" is an understatement. 'a rose born among thorns'..well she's a thorn born among thorns. it's difficult for me to speak of vio at times, she's more of a concept than a person, more of a numb soldier than the one in charge of her own life. an assasin and a pawn in the hands of a patron, melancholy and remambrance, her life is like a long walk to the gallows and while she's walking that path she has full intention of making it everyone's problem

-- SOFTEST OC.

joelle knight — fallout 4

this one made me realise how i barely have 'soft' ocs jklfds. easy sweep for joelle!! she had her whole life ahead of her with her wife & the son they just adopted, she looked at the future with exctiment until everything was taken away from her. joelle could've let the pain harden her heart but she didn't let that happen. joelle strives to help the people and what's left of the world she knew, she's a cutie who will listen to you talk for hours and crack stupid jokes to see you smile. her 'soft' nature doesn't make her naive so caution is still advised if you try to fool her!!

-- MOST ALOOF/STANDOFFISH OC.

zefyr — baldur's gate 3/d&d

i love zefyr madly. MADLY i say. they are a powerful draconic bloodline sorcerer that values their privacy AND peace more than anything else. zefyr lives as a hermit in a forest where they can fully concentrate on their studies of the arcane & such. they do not trust easily (or at all) and their guard is always up. you probably won't get more than a few words from them (unless you ask them about magic and power and such), they just want to be left alone u know? they are known as the ashen terror and not only for their hair color: ashes and fire are the only things they leave behind if you dare anger them!! also they are pink. if pink why evil, they're probably just misunderstood..

-- DUMBEST (AFFECTIONATE) OC.

hiraeth one-eye — skyrim

hate to do this to hiraeth so much fkjdsfnk..i wouldn't say they are dumb, but they surely prefer a good swing of their greatsword as a solution to any other more complicated response. they're super friendly, they love music, reading, chickens and dragons and they would risk it all for the people they love!! also they're extremely dangerous so don't let the big smile fool you. they value honor over anything else and they just can't let go of their father's death ://

-- SMARTEST OC.

sibylla — skyrim

you had a dumbest dovahkiin, now have a smartest ex-dragon priest!! a tie between her and joelle but since joy had her shot already, it's sibylla's turn. formely known as vennesetiid (=the winds of time/destiny), sibylla was a breton born during the middle of the merethic era that joined the ranks of the dragon priests for the simple desire of power, and knowledge. she later betrayed her dragon lords and joined forces to defeated them but lost her life during the battle. but it's not over for her!! a silly little situation makes her come back to walk Tamriel's land, this time as a vampire. sibylla has been alive for centuries and centuries and spent all that time studying the arcane and magic and science as well and working to become the most powerful mage that ever lived (lived..kind of). she saw most of the world's history & legends say she had the power to see the future & she's the proud achiver of the first ever gender transition in tamriel, if you don't love her already you better start

-- OC I WOULD BE BEST FRIENDS WITH.

moira velez — fallout new vegas

beside the fact that i love her beyond human comprehension, moira is funny, adventurous, stupid in a good sense as in you can do whatever crazy thing you think of with her, she's an enabler and i think we would have lots of fun together, she's the positive kind of friend that can lift you up from anything when you need it. plus her and my best friend's nv oc are besties so it's like we're all besties to each other!! hehe <3

[actuallycassidyiambusy]

Heeeeyy it's me again lol the one that likes to ask about ur original work🥺 I asked about ur fav OC to write and now I'm really curious tbh

This Blake guy has my attention and I'd love to know a lil more about him and Zeke? (I think thts the name) U mentioned that Blake is a demon soooo is there an age gap between them👀 also I'd love to see more art of them!

Maybe a little sneak peek of a chapter with them in it? I hope I'm not asking too much I'm just really interested 🙇🏼

You are not asking too much at all! I LOVE talking about my ocs lol I just don't unless asked because I don't wanna be annoying 🥹 I may post a chapter with them later on, but for now I'll share some more art I've done lately as well as a little ✨𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖊✨

Blake and Zeke are prime examples of supporting characters who immediately grab attention from the mcs. And I am 100% okay with that because they are literally my faves.

Blake is in the series from the very start. He could technically be considered a main character because of how important his role is in the whole series. He's morally grey and it's very hard to tell what he's gonna do next. Like I said in the last post, he's the leader of a gang he formed in NY, and expanded all over the country.

Blake is a black blooded demon but he's not hellborn. He was killed as a young adult and turned into a demon by someone I cannot name lol

Blake is easily 120 years old.

Zeke, on the other hand, is a 21 year old half-demon who cannot shut the fuck up or follow orders to save his own life. He's a brat in every sense of the word that nobody has been able to handle. His relationships are fleeting because he's an ass and he's unpredictable.

Meeting Blake is the best and the worst thing that has ever happened to him. Right from the start, Blake handles Zeke in a way no one else has managed to do. Zeke opens his mouth and speaks wrong, he's on the ground. However, he likes it that way. It makes him melt that someone can manage to stick around despite his behavior issues. It also scares him because the one person who can make him obey is also allergic to commitment and can be a flight risk. Neither of them like to communicate their feelings properly. Both of them have been hurt in their own way.

Their dynamic is very toxic and sometimes unsettling, but both of them prefer it that way. They don't like boring and they don't like vanilla. They both have major attitude problems and they deal with each other very aggressively.

But they find common ground. Despite being turned off by commitment, both of them are extremely possessive. To the point of violence some days. Their personalities are similar in ways of sense of humor, pervertedness and ego. Blake is much stronger than Zeke, but that won't stop the blond from throwing hands when he gets frustrated. Both of them can fight incredibly well.

Blake is 6'6" and Zeke is 6'3"

They're both fairly tall and both have noticable muscle tone. Blake is a bit bigger and a hell of a lot badder. While it's miniscule, they don't lack empathy. They have the capacity to feel for others and for each other, they just like to overshadow it with anger and narcissism. Neither of them know how to stay out of trouble,

but Blake is more organized and he has a lot of people in his pocket. Including police officers. Blake is smarter and more efficient and the only times he gets caught is when Zeke is fucking involved. There are times when Blake gets let go, but he'll leave Zeke to think about his actions inside a cell for the night.

They cuss at each other, scream, throw punches and break shit. Zeke has been sent through tables and fences. He's been thrown out of Blake's moving car. But he keeps coming back because Blake will still protect him and patch him up. Blake doesn't try to tame or change Zeke. He takes the issues on the chin and fights back. And the sex is insane. Zeke used to consider himself strictly a top until he met Blake and he won't bottom for anyone else but Blake.

Blake won't bottom for a damn soul, but he doesn't mind letting Zeke be dominant when the blond feels like it. There really isn't much off of the table for these two assholes. Zeke sometimes gets insecure because he's not a "feminine bottom" but Blake doesn't give a shit. He'd rather have Zeke just the way he is and he'll backhand Zeke if he catches the blond talking bad about himself. Their ways of showing they care aren't exactly "conventional" or "healthy", but it gets the point across pretty well. They are constantly splattered in each other's blood.

They can't kill each other, but they have a lot of fun trying❤️‍🔥

[fox-daddy]

Incorrect quotes/edited posts I've seen in a pm seymore video.

But not as the arcana characters but as Arcadia fallen characters.

I know the player character has a name but I refuse to refer to them as anything other than player character. I also threw in my oc once in a while because why not.

~~~

Player character: pins an image of a galaxy on the notice board saying 'all my best fights happen here' as a joke*

Ann's writing underneath it: that isn't even our galaxy. Who, let alone how are you fight out there?

Michael's handwriting underneth: wouldn't you like to know?

~~~

My oc Hunter specifically @ Elizabeth in a joking tone: 'show your awnser' and 'explain how you got your awnser' and any other similar thing are the worst! Dont make me explain myself! I dont know! You taught me how to do this, you should already know.

~~~

Mime: I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy

Vil the character I made purely to be a jerk: I would. Pussy

Michael: I'm not going to sink to their level

Vil: I will. Coward

Victoria: I'm the bigger person

Vil: I'm 150cm tall. Give me the knife.

~~~

Ann: please retire the 'we are made from stardust' phrase. I'm so tired of it.

Michael: stars are made of flesh

Ann: I've changed my mind go back to the orignal phrase

~~~

Player character: just learned about history. Appalled.

~~~

Player character: TONIGHT WE DRINK FROM THE POND!

Victoria: NO THE FUCK WE DON'T!

Mime:already drinking the pond water* wait we're not drinking from the pond?

~~~

Some villager: I want to decompose in a bog

Quinn: well you clearly dont know the first thing about bogs.

Player character: being in the bog is like the opposite of decomposition. Get pickled idiot.

Michael: 'Get pickled idiot?' You know I might actually try and remember that one

~~~

My oc Kyle trying to be a bard; I once bought four sausage rolls, but little did the chasher realize I actually had five in my bag. The universe of course tried to fix this imbalance by causing a tear in my bag causing me to drop a sausage roll, but not so easily defeated I eat it anyway. The universe's counterplay? I got food poisoning. Total equilibrium.

The sparrow who just wanted to sing about the sparrows in:

~~~

Michael: is it route or route?

Mime: is it caramel or caramel?

Player character: is it either or either?

Ann: is it read or read?

Victoria: I hate all of you right now

Kaidan: your language is weird

Michael: you don't seem content with this content

~~~

Ann: how smart are you?

Player character: I mean I'm an alchemist appreciate so- *about to say pretty smart but gets interrupted*

Ann: I'll go ask Quinn

Player character internally:

~~~

Player character: 'apprentice acts like it's a job' was a sentence I did not expect to find looking up reviews for the shop.

~~~

Player character: every word that starts with n should have a silent g infront of it. Gnorway, gnuclear, gnervous system and most importantly gnipples

Michael: at some point my brain decided based on the word knee that body parts starting with n should have a silent k infront. Particularly the word neck. So I disagree with gnipples whole heartedly and think it should be knipples

Player character: how about a compromise? Gn words and kn words get switched. So now it's gnowledge and gneecaps. But also knome and knosticism

Ann: the problem with that is that it doesn't account for the orignal dilemma which is gnipples vs knipples. I for one think it should be pnipples like pneumonia

Michael: okay but what about mnipples like 'mnemonic'

Mime: this is the kind of discourse I enjoy watching from this group

Michael: female presenting gkpmnipples

Victoria: what the fuck are you guys doing, trying to invent neo-french?

Player character: dont you mean, gkpmneo-french?

Victoria: no, I don't.

~~~ the only modern day ones because it was too funny to me not to add~~

Player character: imagine if all the talking mirror tropes came from someone seeing a time traveler talking to their smart phone?

Michael: siri, siri in my phone, how the fuck do I get home?

~~~

Player character: I can't find my headphones and target is closed, this is a nightmare

Mime: just put an ant in each ear and they will sing to you

Player character: not a half bad idea actually

Michael: I read that wrong and thought you were still in the target after closing time and your biggest concern was lack of music instead of the creature

Player character: t-the creature?!

~~~

Ann: let's face it even when the video game says press any button to start you still push the start button

Kaidan: I once knew someone who would push the z button and they still scare me

Player character: I press the X button

Michael: I once pushed the power button

Ann:... do I even need to ask why

Michael: It is one of the many buttons is it not?

[purpleturtle9000]

*slowly edges in under your door like a piece of wayward paper*

Hiiii today I come with gifts of dino stickers (and Clever Girl questions/comments bc I FINALLY beat my adhd into submission to read it >:3) (also I don’t know jackshit about bayverse so my apologies for any goofs)

What made you choose raptors? Also I love horse raptor girl Raph and would kill for him he’s good boy and deserves to keep his buddies

I am choosing to believe they didn’t like Casey bc Acab they can smell the cop on him XD

Were the raptors genetically modified in any way? Cus they seem incredibly intelligent, although that could just be the training and their natural state bc bird Smort af

Okay I think that’s all I got (for now) but also if there’s anything I didn’t ask that you wanna ramble about PLEASE DO I am in love with the Dino’s and their turtle friends :3

*flutters off in a breeze*

I will be putting stickers everywhere immediately, thank you!

I choose raptors because they were my favourite in Jurassic Park from the very beginning. Also I've had a Utahraptor OC for nearly a decade, and Raptor Red is one of my favourite books. So when the idea came of a dinosaur fic, there was truly no question in my mind that it was going to be raptors instead of anything else.

Also anything bigger than Utahraptor would have been an absolute nightmare, logistically speaking. It would take a lot more work to feed, be harder to house, might not have fit on the plane in the first place, and that's even without accounting for there being four of them. Having some big dino like Rexy would be all fun and games until she realises she can fit a whole ninja turtle in her mouth!

Raptor girl Raph is an absolute delight and I support him and Sierra in all their nonsense. (Donnie doesn't, because he's the only one with any real sense, but tbh that's his problem and I have nothing to do with it.) They're going to have a great time terrorising the local bad guys, and probably also the local wildlife.

Casey being a cop is such a stupid decision in Bayverse, it's like the only thing that really gets me 😒 The girls can smell the ACAB now lmao, new canon developing right here. Also Casey is a stranger, and they've always been territorial. Plus Raph is kinda passive-aggressive at Casey and Sierra picks up on that as regular aggression (and by extension, so do the rest of the girls).

The raptors were not modified! They are very smart though, cause bird is Smort af. Parrots can do shit you would not expect from an adult and I love them for it but also sometimes stop that you over-intelligent little shits! Also they have been trained pretty much their entire lives, so they have a baseline for human interaction that can also be applied to turtles.

Also part of their intelligence is based on observations of crocodiles in captivity! Cause they're smarter than you would expect, I got a bunch of books to try to research their behaviour, and I have a whole new appreciation for them.

Okay so obviously there's a lot of things to love in the fic itself, but I also really loved writing the care guide. At first it was just going to be a reference doc for myself, but then I decided to write it as a kind of 'in-universe' thing, from Donnie's POV.

About 90% of the raptor lore is based on what's been observed (and published) about birds of prey and crocodilians. Besides the physical stuff, which is based on fossil records (and some assumptions based on fossil records). Side note, why is it so hard to access some of the academic papers? Let me read!

And a few of my favourite lines from the lore doc:

Sierra shows the same body language when biting the top of Raph’s shell as she does when playing with her sisters. She seems to consider this a form of play as well, and for reasons beyond my comprehension, Raph agrees with her.

The vast majority of aggressive behaviour happens in fights over food, or in an attempt to frighten away things that frighten them. Such things include a loose dog, a butterfly, a plastic bag, and a smoking car engine (the latter also frightened Leo and Mikey).

I have never seen nest squabbles turn violent, unlike our most recent fight for the tv remote.

As shown by Raph and Sierra, to my and Leo’s displeasure, a raptor can pick a meatball from an open palm without injuring the palm.

Raph insists Sierra would attempt to predate a moose if she saw one, as she is, to quote him, ‘braver than Vin Diesel’. I hope he is wrong about her behaviour but assume he is not.

When Raph suggested providing them with a live lobster for enrichment, it locked its claws onto Tango’s lower leg and now all four regard lobsters with suspicion and occasional alarm calls.

Quebec in particular loves liver and will knock Leo over if he’s holding a sheep liver, a habit I have fortunately been able to record for further evaluation.

[magic-is-something-we-create]

hi magesmith

do any of your ocs go through grief and how do they deal with it?

hi sleepy!!! thanks for dropping by!!! <3

Funny you should ask - grief is one of those consistent, big themes in most of my work, especially Whispers!

In Whispers, much of Lorelei's character (and arc) centers around the traumatic disappearance of her sister, Meerin, when they were children/young teenagers about 30 years ago, and her continued struggle to find answers to what, exactly, happened. Much of how Lorelei deals with, uh, anything and everything is by answering lingering questions - we see it when, say, her friend's kids bring up a particularly gross fun fact they learned, and she then goes to the library to research about it just to ease her mind. We see it when someone else's disappearance is brought to her attention, and she goes to huge lengths to try and find said person.

And that works for a lot of the grief she carries; she's lost quite a few people over time, and most of them weren't nearly such strange circumstances.

The problem is that for Meerin, there are no answers.

So she's got no way to deal with it other than a) distraction and b) trying desperately to pick up a trail that's three decades old. So, yeah, grieving is basically her whole arc, and dealing with grief is a continuously-evolving question for her 😅

Grief is also a huge part of Millennium Saga, too, though!

The Timber family (Ember, Nimbus, Dusk, and their other siblings) were hit really hard multiple times over with grief throughout their formative years, and all of them deal with it differently.

Nimbus deals with his grief by burying himself in his work and avoiding sleep (due to nightmares and general insomnia), keeping tabs on where everyone is at all times, and maybe being a bit too strict. He's become a bit of a shut-in and a nervous wreck, and developed some obsessive-compulsive tendencies and rituals as a side effect.

So suffice to say that how he's dealing is not well.

Ember is in a similar boat, though they've taken a few different turns than him. They keep tabs on their siblings' whereabouts, too, but only in the sense of "tell me when you'll be back and stick to the time or I will panic" instead of "no the fuck you're not leaving at midnight" like him. They've also got a bigger social support network than he does, so while their grief hits them like a gut punch pretty often, it's not a constant thing like it is for him, and they're able to tide it better with the help of Annie + Gab.

Dusk is... well. He's defined by grief in a way no one else in the Ehlverse is. Like, to the point where, to get into a lil bit of spoiler territory...

...the Goddess of Death herself has grown attached to him.

Upside to that: She's also the Goddess of Love, Art, and History, and helps him a lot with carrying the weight of grief.

Downside: he can see all the spirits he grieves in every reflective surface, knowing they're watching him, and can't talk to any of them and get the closure he thinks he and his siblings need.

But yeah! Those are the major characters/OCs that come to mind when talking about grief <3 thanks again for the question!!