#and i KNOW those coworkers have more
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Sometimes I think I like my coworkers as people but then they go gossip about a dude with long hair, whine about jobless people receiving THEIR MONEY (taxes) so they get paid for doing nothing, a homeless man owning 1 nice jacket he paid for in cash, someone being too fat to fit into our chairs, trans people existing and misgendering them afterwards even when they already said what they're pronouns are(especially funny after the 'oh no idc/am fine w/ trans ppl-just curious and don't understand it fully but i am fine w/ them no problems there'-chats), about gay men being too flamboyant bc that other gay man isn't, about us paying for inmates' wages (again-taxes, also where do you think your money is going into eventually anyway? our wages are also paid for by other ppl-money is supposed to move around??), about how there were so many covid regulations and suddenly there is nothing about it so that means it was all a hoax and not that covid is still there and killing but it'd be too expensive to keep up quarantine so it was faded out despite still being on going
sometimes it's really fucking hard to like people when you fundamentally disagree with how they want other people to be treated or what they get mad about
#txts#the FUNNIEST thing btw#the guy who is all mad about HIS MONEY paying for those meany prisoners#is ACTIVELY trying to win the lottery#which-very much not his hard earned money now is it?#its amazing how angry or even just annoyed you can be at people living#and mostly at people living shit lives#yes i also get salty knowing i work my ass off for nothing#which is why-and get this#i am looking to switch jobs#and i still make more than ppl w/out jobs who have to rely on government pay#bc thats how this shit works#they get like 500bucks a month#or start on that depending on many multiple factors#+- anything they might get approved for rent wise#but i DO have about twice that much left AFTER i pay rent+utilities#and i KNOW those coworkers have more#bc our company goes by old-school system of: the longer you work there the more you make#and ignores who does more work or less#bc otherwise i'd actually make more than i do rn for taking care of the workshop#also salty about that but hey#job change#rant#venting
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Okay so I may have been struggling under a miscommunication issue
#My coworker heard I took a day off for a migraine and said oh I get those all the time#And described what sounded like a regular headache#So I dont know if I actually have migraines more than I thought or if she just doesn't know what a migraine is#She was like#'They've only ever had me bedridden once though'#And I'm here like#Girl every migraine has me blind and bedridden that's what a migraine is#Otherwise it's just a sparkling headache#So wtffff#Help#emetophobia tw#I think?#Headaches#Migraines
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1 year since i got scammed by nintedno leaving me forever yearning for a game we will never get and an extreme worry for the future
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#dont think they will learn anything#i know its pessimistic but like#as if the critics were in any way as loud or popular as those worshipping it#i feel so bad for having contributed twice to its sales and earnings#i bought it normally (later sold that to a coworker) and the collectors#which i sold but i only got back the money a normal new one would have cost#and it was also only bc i was buying sth else and it was literally in prime condition#like he said it wouldnt matter bc he cant give me more but then even he said holy shit thats literlly like unopened lol#i mean ... most of it was never opnened xD just took the game out once and put it back once thats it#i feel extra scammed bc it was the first and only collectors edition i ever owned#and i dont think i will ever buy one again#and might regret that#i still wish i had known how much i liked botw to get its special one ... but i didnt have the money back then either way#but id rather miss out on that than spend so much money on sth i will forever regret having spend money on#and i worry for the future bc the “story is the least important part” guy and “lol you can only like the old games bc nostalgia” guy-#-being in charge of the franchise arent giving me much hope for anything better#especially after totks success
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the most batshit insane traumatizing thing happened at work today & I won't know if people are dead bc of my inability to talk a man down from a mass murder until the news reports start coming out lollll
edit: it's all good there was nothing about a shootout on the news 🙏
#the rest of my shift after that call was a blur.#i obviously cant go into much detail but i was on the phone w/a man who had just robbed a mcds at gunpoint & was calling to say that hes#awaiting the police in the br & intends to shoot and kill as many as he can when they arrive#i tried talking him down but then he said ''ok ill blow my brains out on ten'' & began counting down.#i literally hung up at two after failing to stop him and started bawling & my coworkers called the cops to let them know they were#heading into a more dangerous situation than they realized#i monitered police scanners & 14 rounds were fired from the mcds location he was at but i have no further info#he mustve started shooting random ppl or cops. if i hadnt deprived him of his audience would he have just killed himself & not others??#like he was counting down while i was on the phone but i couldnt stand hearing the gunshot so i hung up but if i didnt would people still b#alive? then again all those shots couldve been misses or nonfatal wounds#hes probably dead now either way. i guess i was the last person to ever speak to him#idk what to do with all this hence why it is going here
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Batman #149 by chip zdarsky is mostly unremarkable, but I'm really fascinated by how it makes a great case for 'good' endings not saving 'bad' stories*. Because there's a lot of interesting concepts in this issue (bruce having to deal with his rapidly aging and decaying clone making him think about his own life, re-establishing a 'nest' so to speak for his family after pushing them away, etc) but bc of the OOC slog that came before it, almost every moment w/ the batfamily comes off as unearned and disingenuous imo.
Like, everything with Damian is the perfect example in this. Because in isolation it's...fine. admittedly it's a missed opportunity to not go deeper into how Damian would feel about a clone of his dad who tried to kill considering Damian's relationships with clones of himself (the heretic rejects and respawn) or with former enemies who wanted him dead but who were manipulated and/or brainwashed (like suren and maya).
Zdarsky doesn't go into any of this but you could maybe excuse it as the issue not being about Damian. However, coupled with the previous bizarre characterizations of Damian in 147 and 148, it ends up not being fine- instead it starts to feel...icky how Damian (who, despite often being drawn and written as white, will never have his connection to the non-white al ghuls forgotten and will always be effected by racism even when not portrayed as a poc) is constantly written as overly violent, uncaring and narrow minded in this run. Coupled w/ trying to recanonize the morrison origin for Damian it's like. OH this is badly written and laden with subtle bigotry, sick**
That's me going into detail on it with Damian but it's applicable to other things in this issue- the way Cass, Steph and Duke have all been ignored or turned into jobbers makes their inclusion in the 'family' here feel hollow instead of satisfying. Bruce proclaiming that Zur was still a part of him and he needs to accept responsibility for his actions (when it means taking in clone son) wrings hollow when just last issue zdarsky was bending over backwards to separate Bruce and Zur bc otherwise the Jason thing would get really awkward. Ends are achieved through means that feel hollow or strange. I'm at my destination but damn why'd the bus have to do all that???
I only really have opinions on this latest arc of zdarskys Batman bc it's the one I've read the closest (bc I'm a hater, masochist and avid follower of even the bad damian storylines) but it's not saying great things.
Bc zdarsky can do one thing good in this book, and it's write Bruce and Tim. And yet this entire story, whether of his own volition or editorial mandate, includes other characters who aren't Bruce and Tim, the fabric starts to unravel in very telling ways.
(p.s, I think pennyworth manor is an interesting idea but I feel like in execution it's just gonna be 'bruce living in a house haunted by the memory of the people he couldn't save' but with a different dead guy this time. Illusion of change and whatnot)
*whether or not the ending is good is up to you ofc, as is your opinion on the proceeding arc! I saw some ppl complain that the ending was too "WFA" for them, which I get even if I dont think it'll literally be the same premise. If anything it's probably a lead into the new tec run. Likewise many ppl who aren't in the weeds of Damian and Jason characterization liked the previous arc! But I have my opinions and rest my case before the bench
**disclaimer, I'm white and portrayals of bigotry in comics are complicated and subjective, but I am basing my point here off what other poc comic fans on socmed have been saying about 149. Also the "sick" is sarcasm incase that wasn't obvious
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#bruce wayne#uhhh. not gonna tag the others i dont have time#batman#idk if the zdarsky series has its own tag#anyway yeah. i saw some interesting discussions surrounding 149 and it got me thinking#the experience of reading the issue is inoffensive until i remember how we got here and then all of a sudden i start to feel downright evil#the bruce/zur separation thing pisses me off so bad. MOTHERFUCKER YOU WERE JUST SAYING LAST ISSUE THAT NONE OF IT WAS HIM#and maybe we were meant to agree w Bruce and not Jason in that issue but if that's the case. piss poor job demonstrating it#Bruce never really faces like. interpersonal consequences from the family that last beyond an issue#which is WILD considering the shit he pulled back before they knew he was having a menty b (mental breakdown for those who dont know)#the damian thing is just like. its such clear author bias in ways both lowkey funny and also. not funny. at all#i know a lot of ppl on here didnt vibe w/ batman and robin by joshua williamson but like#i cannot stress enough how he was one of the ONLY ppl in damians corner and now hes leaving that series#he says he approves of the new creative teams assigned but also they're his coworkers. so i dont trust SHIT until its in my hands#anyway one day I'll give a more good faith reading of zdarskys Batman and i do wanna read his daredevil some day#but as it stands he suffers from terminal ''has seemingly never read a comic not abt my special white boys and refuses to try''#which means everyone is going to have to suffer through my haterism#also sorry for no images. i really want to but i just don't have the wherewithal to do alt text rn
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despairful day. remember to take comfort in anything that brings you joy. for me, that is Binah. for you, it might also be Binah. that is alright. she has hugs enough for all.
#project moon#lobotomy corporation#library of ruina#binah#binah lobcorp#binah library of ruina#i have sworn to myself that i will keep going#that i will try to have something that sparks delight#it will be difficult#but who will do the things we do#who will make the things we make if we are gone#in troubling times think of everyone you love#binah is there. sitting with a cup of tea#queequeg is waiting patiently to embrace you for she loves the feeling of you in her arms#for those who follow the bus. your coworkers are there too#yi sang is a quiet comforting presence#faust will tell you facts to get your mind off of events#don distracts you with stories. or perhaps she just sits with you and knows what despair feels like#ryoshu will show you how she paints. just this once#meursault is steady and always reliable if you are in need of anything#hong lu messes with your hair however he can with a smile#heathcliff allows you to lean on him. for he is warm and comfortable#ishmael.#rodion paints your nails and offers to help with your outfit. anyone's nails can be painted#the tick of dante's clock is slow and soothing#sinclair can exchange tips to not wallow in nervousness#outis is more lenient. she carves wood did you know?#gregor's not sure what advice to give you. but his voice is calm and soothing#this became long#good. it needed to be
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. . .
#i dont really know what to say on here at all#anybodys welcome to come to me to talk if they need to but im just#im just so exhausted#ive been sick on and off for over a week but i cant use too much sick time because#ill run out of time to see my parents later this year#and i cant just not go because i need to keep my health insurance#now that i have more than one chronic illness#theres wild shit going on at our house thats making me paranoid and anxious of someone stalking us#or trying to hurt my roommate#and now. this#its so selfish to make it about me and truly it isnt#im worried for my baby coworker who came out to me as trans#and how shell live the next four years#im worried about everyone whose been in my inbox every g/f/m i keep track of#im afraid for my friends. im afraid Of a few of my coworkers now that i know#but mostly im just. so fucking tired#im so tired#and im so sorry#was it so silly to be a little hopeful#and not even hopeful for a good outcome. i know we dont have those. just not This one#rowan chatter#tbd
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Every time Prapai gives Sky medicine, he's narcoleptic inside 5 minutes.
#fun story: in 2018 we went to interview ex-president jimmy carter#and I had a bit of an odd feeling in my throat#august 24 2018 i remember that date well#because that was the first signs of an illness that annihilated me#i blacked out for most of the month of september- i only have very sparse memories#i had a strange kind of pneumonia the doctor hadn't seen before#and over those 6-7 months they threw every single anti-anything they could at me#IDK if I slept so well because of the knockout effects of all the antibiotics and antivirals#or because I had a recurring fever and a chronic brutal cough for 6-7 months and was terribly weak by the end#but i was sleeping so deeply the more pills they added#and now i know i can function with a 102 fever on and off for months on end#everyone- family and coworkers- also made fun of me for insisting on wearing a mask but guess what bitches#when the pandemic rolled around i still had 2 unopened boxes from being sick a year before and those were worth more than toilet paper#lita#love in the air#prapai#sky#prapaisky#true facts: I don't remember writing one of my own fics#it was during the blackout month and i refuse to read it because i think it's funnier that i don't know what it's about#i also had to work- it was one of our biggest events that we do every 4 years#two weeks straight of 14 hour days with no weekends#and i was there every single day#i have no memory whatsoever and when we did the event again in 2022 the organizers kept saying 'oh wow you're alive!'#i like to say i had the BEST time because it's a tedious af event and everyone is surly by the end#but from MY pov i was trapped in dense fog and couldn't breathe; trapped in that twilight feeling when you're neither awake nor unconscious#and then when it passed I had a nice paycheck in my account without any of the mental strain of working for it
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i actually have a hard time understanding childe's character and is mostly because of other people's takes + im like so scared of mischaracterizing him
#like when ppl where saying he doesnt kill and people were calling that mischaracterisation#and then they turned around and called him a sociopath who doesnt care about others (sooo not true its painful)#its not that its a middle ground- both versions are just. not him#i think childe kills not because he's some homicidal maniac but because its his duty to the tsaritsa#and while he does not do it on text from my pov is like heavily implied? yk? her majestys weapon?? feared in battle?#but the word duty is important#i think childe wants to be good- more than anything#he wants to be a good brother and a good son and a good comrade#and being a harbinger is what has allowed him to do so#being her majesty's weapon is both a prision and liberty for him#he can take care of his family. he can find strong opponents. he can gain strength.#he cant make meaningful connections with others. he cant always do the work he wants to do. he cant (always) be the good guy#last part is the most important to me. its clear during liyue he didn't enjoy putting innocents at risk#but he does so anyway- out of duty#and here is My Interpretation: childe knows his position and knows it will force him to hurt others#which he doesnt enjoy#and to cope with that he seems to have convinced himself that if he only hurts those who are bad then it means he himself is not bad#for childe that is enough. except we know it isnt#the fatui is a deeply unethical organization- even if their goals are pure their means arent and we know that#childe thinks that separating himself from his coworkers and just trying to hurt those who he (or the fatui) deems as bad is enough#but it isnt enough ! because he still is contributing to said organization- he is by extenction enabling their unethical actions#he isnt good#and thats what i love about him#him not killing wouldnt make sense because then what is his internal struggle? why is then that the older members of his family hold +#so much contempt for him#if he were just a silly malewife who just likes to battle - why would his father have sent him to the fatui in the first place#along the same vein him enjoying killing and finding no issue with it wouldnt make sense either#because again then where is the conflict- by several voicelines is clear childe doesnt care much about himself / has a low self esteem#childe knows whats right and whats wrong and he knows that what he is and what he does isnt right#yet he still does it. out of naivety or (and i like this answer more) duty
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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working retail is making me remember how much i hate stupid customers btw
#so i work in a tiny nonprofit thrift store. right.#its one room w concrete floors and very compact shelving because there is just No Room for anything.#and our office/employee backroom/breakroom is a little corner with wood+canvas dividers separating it from the rest of the store#with LOTS of signs saying employees only nothing is for sale here etc etc etc#and there was a customer today who went through the divider to ''shop'' in the ''other section of the store''#and we didnt even KNOW someone was back there until she brought up one of my coworker's purses to ask how much it was </3#im so baffled. there are so many signs saying its employees only.#not to mention that the office is full of notes and paperwork and my boss's computer and filing cabinets and the fridge and microwave#its CLEARLY an office/break room. even if you ignore all the signs. and YET.#there's also people who will literally just steal. anything and everything#which like. i will always support shoplifting from walmart or another big retail company. in fact i encourage it.#but a tiny locally owned NONPROFIT thrift store that supports local arts ???? HELLO ????????????????#gah. i should be allowed to throttle one customer per day. i should get paid to do so#most of them are so so sweet. we have regulars who are in almost every day and they are the NICEST people ever#but its just those few who are absolutely the worst most selfish stupid people to ever live#woes from work#winter speaks#all complaining aside i do enjoy my job quite a bit more than i thought i would#i like my coworkers and i feel like im actually connecting with most of them#and i love my supervisor. i have so much respect for her she's an amazing person#you win some you lose some i guess. cool job i actually like but with stupid fucking customers who make me want to MURDER
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I'm bored at work so I'm seeing if I should report my old company for violating labor standards.
#totes bro#im so close but it is so obvious it would be me because i used to complain about this all the time#they dont inform their immigrant workers of their rights and so they dont like understand how their timecard works#and thr company advises them to take the least expensive insurance policy because they 'are healthy and don't need it'#but i know one couple wants fertility treatments but couldnt afford it because of that#they dont have the required posters#they also knowingly continue osha violations which i held a meeting over and was told this doesnt apply to us#which uhm it says it does on the Web site so i disagree#all of this is like why i left and what caused me to leave#and literally lying to me and another guy that we would get promotions for the work we did#and then they hired someone else to do the job making our promotions unnecessary and they were like hmmmm sorry#idk they like got a ton worse and i think the president got more reactionary which caused this#not sure how many of these count but thats not for me to decide anyway#oh and cleanliness standards but i actually fixed a lot of those..... fulfilling the role that promotion role that was promised#my coworkers here are like 'absolutely report the hell out of that place' because we do code violations lol#every time i say something they go 'that could be a violation :)'#they paid someone on a salary basis when they were under the salary pay and therefore should have gotten overtime
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not to be an angry punk on my love and light blog but FUCK MAN i really can NOT take non-jewish (or jewish adjacent like me) liberals seriously anymore with everything going on. you can tell them that news outlets have admitted to favoring palestine and that people in israel are also being killed and yanno suffering from their country being at war, and bring up hundreds of thousands of examples of antisemitism ALL OVER THE WORLD and how (for us americans) we DONT want to leave despite the election because while it's uncertain safety here we at least have our community and wouldn't be STARTING OVER IN A NEW COUNTRY WHERE ANTISEMITIC VIOLENCE IS WORSE THAN WHERE I'M AT and they'll sit there, with their "i'm a good ally" listening face to all of that just to turn around and say
"well yea but what about gaza? there's no excuse for that"
like there's a fucking excuse for all that israel and jewish people everywhere have been going through these past few years
#hearing coworkers takes on I&P and the election has me wanting to rip my hair out and cry#i want to believe they just don't know or understand but im still so hurt#ive been told more times than i can count this week to move to canada or the netherlands cause im trans#AS IF THOSE ARE SAFE SPACES FOR NORTH AMERCAN INDIGENOUS PEOPLE OR JEWS#i'm so tired#i have jewish music class and torah study and a meeting with my rabbi tomorrow which is MUCH needed#but still i'm fucking tired#jumblr#jewish conversion#tw antisemitism#jewish vents
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If things could stop going in exactly the wrong wrong direction that would be excellent
#m rambles#if I could trade all my years of good luck when I was younger to just be fucking normal I would#the latest in my series of unfortunate events:#decided to hire traffic lawyer for my ticket#traffic lawyer gets my info but never sends any follow up#today I got a fucking ‘failed to appear in court’#because apparently my lawyer didn’t do jack shit#and it’s just one more FUCKING thing#I don’t even know what the fuck to do now#this will probably fuck up my chances of getting my ticket dismissed#and I’m too paranoid to go for a lawyer again because if I fail to show up again they can put out a warrant for my arrest#im so nauseous#I really can’t deal with being alive anymore and I mean that in the most serious fucking way I can#if I had access to a gun or a garage I could lock myself in I would fucking do it#but I’m too terrified of being in pain to try any other way so I guess I live to see another sunrise tomorrow#just to go into work at a job I probably won’t have in a month’s time because of layoffs#to explain to my coworkers and my manager why I’m so fucking behind#and without a single bit of professional help because my therapist dropped me weeks ago and I’ve been stuck in a hole ever since#I’ve left my house less that 5 times in the entire month of October and yet I live in a fucking pigs sty#I sleep on the couch because I’m too tired to climb the stairs and all I can smell is the mold from my dishes#which literally had fucking maggots in it last time I looked at them#I think there’s black mold in my basement that I can’t clean and my fridge is going to mold soon because my water pitcher leaked#if I’d known when I was a kid that all those times where things just seemed to magically work out would lead to my life falling apart#I would have shut my goddamn mouth about getting a B in physics and dealt with it to prevent my life from becoming the shit show it is today
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Chapter 10 done \o/
#salad-txt#baby steps or something#hey time to bitch in the tags#a few weeks ago I was talking to a coworker (who knows I write) how I aim for 300w/day#and she was - absolutely serious btw - like that's so little#don't you usually do much more is that writer's block#and it's just so discouraging??#yes I did much more when I did nothing fucking else for 4-5 months#no lazying around playing games almost no book read#(also no gw expac in that year lol)#but I can't keep that up or I'll go insane and also can we not underestimate how hard it is to do it literally every day#perhaps it's not quite 300/day but one day 100 and one day 500 but I try to get a bit done every day and have 10k at the end of month#for months. oh a migraine an evening out or whatever. well those missing words keep piling up#i've done multiple nanos before I know that and I need a goal that's low enough I can recover a missed day or two without hating my life#and let's not go to where that also applies for everything else. but you did that once so you must be able to do that again don't be lazy#do you really believe the tone of 'well you did better once before so every other attempt is worthless' is encouraging??#nope makes me stop trying why bother if i am never gonna be good enough or if i am it will make future me more miserable
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i wish my only response to a conflict wasn't giving up
#for example at work rn.. i wish i was naturally more assertive and upfront#especially with the people who are rude af#i have never before been in a situation where a coworker was straight up rude to me and we are this close to her calling me names 🤏#she already swears a lot and is like why is it not done i wont fucking do someone else's job#i am trying to meet all the deadlines even tho i barely know how to operate in those systems#girl i am here 1.5 months you are here FOUR (4) years#i need to prepare myself for the next call i have with her i need to somehow communicate this isn't ok in the slightest#anyways i also hate how much this gets to me#and i know that she knows this#mine
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