#and how well the whole story of the island was written starting from the prisoner in the cave chapter

[juthemagicalclown]

One thing I like about Reverse 1999 is how the game tells different perspectives about potentially controversial topics that are commonly portrayed as negative in mainstream narrations not because inherently bad but rather because any depth is quickly dismissed. I am thinking about 1.6 event in regards to alcohol drinking (and prohibitionism), 1.8 event concerning communism (its true ideals and utopia), 1.9 story and nihilism (in its often overlooked positive connotation)

[flapjacksfursona02]

Ugh i looove your ramblings. like. this show barely gets any discussion besides how sPoOoOky it is and shit and it saddens me lol (i guess it doesn't help that the creepy aspects are the most memorable, oh well)

Anywayyy,, whatchu said about the abusive relationships/caricature stuff? *slams table* 100% canon no cap...

like, the whole point of the show (at least originally) was to showcase how dark and sinister everybody else is compared to Flapjack, who's just this bright young fella who just wants to be everybody's friend, while being oblivious to how fucked up everything is around him.

That boy really is the only good character in the whole series, and it makes me sad cause Bubbie is pretty much the only good role model present in his life 😭

Also, you could argue that K'nuckles has shown to be reedemable multiple times on the run, but,,,, he's still a selfish jerkass to Flapjack and everybody else for most of the time so it doesn't really matter 😭

At least we got this weirdly cute quote from the show's pitch bible in the Flapjack wiki ig... i love it sm lol:

"Although Candied Island is always at the fore-front of K'nuckles mind, we see that there may be something that he craves even more than candy; the adoration of Flapjack. Although K’nuckles claims not to have any tender feelings for Flapjack, his actions say otherwise. He needs Flapjack, because he’s the only person in the world who doesn’t see him as a worthless bum."

Goshh how i wish they had more moments with an actual good father/son bond... ok bye lulz

i could just go talking about it for hours.

k'nuckles is kind of the great example of how gruesome a person could become (and yeah, we'll look at him as a person and not a myth beast, he's still human according to the show's canon) in some circumstances. dude was literally raised without anyone by his side who had good intentions, at least from what i saw. mermen tried to drown him in a bag like some animal when he was a child, to listen to bednight stories he sat under the caged window holes of a stormalong prison and absorb all the things criminals told him when he didn't know any better. the way he lacks empathy at all in his life that he is able to kill a person without any thought nor hesitation and death threatening people is normal to him. also him easily falling to alcohol and drug addiction, that's... yeah. reaching rock bottom of society from time to time, until someone saves him. feeling comfortable sleeping in a trash bag, as if he was used to be thrown there by someone else while being uncosciosly blackout drunk. all the candy overdose deleriums. the way he is lying all the time, permanently, sometimes even if there might be a chance for both him and flapjack to get in trouble for hiding the truth. the way he can easily start to cry without a reason, or just lay on bubbie's tongue and not getting up for weeks 'until he rots'.

this is an insanely good written alcoholic/addict character. so good that it's way too depressing for some comedy-driven kids tv show. and i'm surprised that no one talks about it aloud, the gruesome angst that this show is about. i'm not sad about it tho, nor mad, it even feels more nicely when even the fandom and fanart are quite joyful, but sometimes you just sit and analyse the show or a character and you feel weirdly excited and horrified at the same time. flapjack is dark fiction art

[crimso-o]

A Stygian's Burden [Looking for Players - PF2e Homebrew Campaign!]

Table-Top System: Pathfinder 2e (Homebrew setting, further information will be provided upon acceptance).

Number of Players: FULL - thank you to everyone who applied!!

Time and Date: Weekly, Friday evenings - starting at 6pm to 11pm CST

Session length: 5 hours

DMing style: Mixture of both combat and role-play, leaning on heavier, darker themes and overall subject matter; incorporation of characters, backstories and party dynamics are important to the structure of our campaigns!

Starting level: Level 3

Required platforms: Discord Voice, Foundry VTT

Restrictions: No lone-wolf characters (we’re looking for characters that can mesh well with the group!), and we have a google form / application system that will be required to fill out if you wish to join!* (Evil characters are allowed, though there will be discussion and understanding of limits to craft a balanced character).

Content warning: This setting is 21+, it will contain some dark and uncomfortable material. TW themes; psychological horror, body horror, g^re, suggestive themes, and more. This is set in a dark fantasy world where your actions and how you play will have consequences to the party and story.

Player Homebrew: 3rd party options will be provided and available once you have joined!

Story: The Expanse, a world built upon blended continents and archipelagos filled with vibrant possibilities, freedom and exhilarating adventure; a world awaiting before your very fingertips. . . Beckoning, inviting you to see what all there is to offer. Though even with such pleasantries, such promises that seem to await you - Where your story truly begins, well, you all find yourselves guided down a different path. Away from gleaming hope and growth, but rather within the confines of a high-security prison deemed as Black Reach. Dreary, dark, and dripping with malice; you find yourselves in the cruel vices of custody, shackled and stowed away from the public eye ( locked away for whatever foul crimes you committed ) or perhaps. . . Your line of work, the pay offered, or perhaps out of self justice - you've found yourself sailing through the heavily patrolled waters to the isolated island where the prison stands, ready to provide aid to cease and silence those malevolent convicts. Or assist in other means. Whatever it may be, you all find yourself within its suffocating walls. For how long? It feels unknown really. . . But a place you call home, nonetheless.

Backstory information & Details: As mentioned above, you all will be starting in Black Reach; a high-security prison tasked with keeping those of heavy and severe risk in custody. Be it as a prisoner or a staff member / guard / an outside hire, whichever it may be; a detailed and enriching backstory will be needed to written ( we will assist in the process, as this will be taking place in our home-brew world ). You can reside from any portion of the world and your backstory can encompass many things, but it will need to be hammered down to finding a reason / purpose for your imprisonment or unique hire to the facility.

Keeping in contact with us, asking questions and building your character as well as your story alongside your DMs is a MUST if you join, especially before campaign begins - we want to ensure your vision and ideas can be done while still fitting in the setting as a whole.

Alongside what's mentioned above, we also partake in writing role-play between sessions where you'll be writing as your character during downtime to maintain interest, appeal and allow others to interact outside of weekly sessions - this will be a requirement if you wish to join!

Notes: Hello everyone! My name is Crimso and I'm the CO-DM for this campaign alongside my partner. we’re reaching out to find new players and potentially new friends to play a long term campaign with as well as meet, interact and hang out with often! (we're night owls, so we're up all hours of the evening haha)!

If you're interested in joining, please send a message over to my inbox and I'll send over a Google application form for you to fill out! It'll have a range of questions that'll help us get to know you!

Thank you to those who take the time to read this long post and hope you have a wonderful day!

[callaeidae3]

what is your novel about?

Hi! 🌸 Thanks for your ask!! ~

My novel, "The Case of Kindall, K.", is a thriller / action & adventure story set in a fictional island nation kingdom, Arkala. İt's about a seventeen year old (Kyle Kindall) who's accused of manslaughter, and sent to prison. The person he allegedly killed was his classmate.

The judge of Kyle's case truthfully feels something is off about the whole thing, so he asks his friend (Yuuki, 25 yrs old, a warden at the detention centre) to help him privately investigate it. (Spoiler: the judge is very much correct - Kyle's case turns out to have something else going on behind the scenes...)

I've written out an outline of what happens during the first book - I described it to my friend the other day like this, which she enjoyed, so I thought I'd try to describe it again in that way! :)

--

İn the first half of the novel, Yuuki meets with Kyle regularly and talks with him, and tries to figure out what really happened with Kyle's case. Yuuki works at the detention centre where Kyle has been sent to.

While this is going on, a few schoolmates of Kyle's, including the judge's daughter, also come forward to give their support of Kyle's claim of innocence. Yuuki also decides he believes Kyle's version of what happened.

Both the judge and his friend are wary, however. They were both involved in a kidnapping incident the year before, and Kyle's case has something about it which feels like that. Yuuki developed PTSD from that incident. Yuuki's PTSD affects him, and he's concerned about how the solitary confinement of Kyle's imprisonment is affecting Kyle.

True to the judge's gut intinct, things start happening. Yuuki finds Kyle near death in his cell with hypothermia one morning. Yuuki carries Kyle out of the cell that day. He and the judge get Kyle an emergency clearance (which is helped by new evidence suggesting Kyle's pleading not guilty to be true).

For a few days, Kyle recovers in the homes of the judge and Yuuki's. Kyle deals with the realisations of post traumatic stress. There's lots of hurt comfort ~

İt isn't long before the Bad Guys ™ come to Yuuki's house. The antagonists try to kidnap Kyle. Both Yuuki and Kyle are rescued (by the judge and his family), but it's too dangerous to stay around. So Yuuki, Kyle, the judge and his family, as well as a few of the judge's daughter's friends - end up going on the run in the countryside.

Yuuki's arm was badly injured during the house attack. His arm was shot three times by the bad guys - they'd used him to get Kyle to cooperate and let himself be taken quietly. Yuuki's arm is too badly damaged, and they can't safely risk getting him to a hospital, so the judge's wife (who has formal field medic training) performed an amputation surgery on it.

(Note: there are no graphic descriptions of anything re the amputation!)

----

(Actual spoiler under the cut!)

What actually happened with Kyle's case now comes to light.

Among the judge's daughter's friends is eighteen year old Laura. Laura is actually a surviving royal, and has hidden her real identity as the "deceased princess" Amelia İhserh. Her family had been murdered by the country's current usurper leader, but she unbeknownstly escaped the massacre.

The Bad Guys had come close to discovering Amelia. What happened to Kyle, re his case, is that Kyle had accidentally overheard the Bad Guys talking about finding and killing Amelia. The Bad Guys sent someone after Kyle, on the same night he overheard the conversation, to kill him. The person they sent was the classmate that Kyle "killed". But Kyle fought back, and in the process, the knife ended up being driven into the classmate instead. Kyle was the one who was meant to be killed that night. But Kyle survived, and the person who meant to kill him died because of it.

--

So -- out on the run now, the group end up simultaneously trying to appeal Kyle's case, figure out exactly who's after them, and get Amelia to a place where she can declare her identity and attempt negotiations with the usurper. Yuuki's remnant limb heals without complications, but that's not to say Yuuki's recovery is easy for him. İn the aftermath of what they've both experienced, Kyle and Yuuki become closer.

The group eventually are discovered by police (who the group can't trust for their safety), and end up having to flee their safe house. Yuuki almost drowns in a river, and Kyle gets briefly caught by the bad guys. He escapes once, then gets caught again. Kyle is rescued when a few members of the group go back to search for him.

After a lot of hiking through the bush, the group make it to the palace. The palace is where the usurper leader resides. While Amelia talks with him, the rest of the group scatter (for safety). While Kyle and Yuuki are walking to their waiting place up on the hillside, Yuuki falls. Kyle catches him, but falls with him. Kyle sustains a head injury hitting his head on a rock on the way down. (The head injury is made worse when patrolling bad officers find them. Yuuki fends them off (and the officers fall out of sight down the hill).)

Meanwhile, in front of the palace, the usurper leader finally goes to shoot Amelia. But one of Amelia's group shoots him from afar with a rifle before he can fire at her.

Once the signal for the "all clear" is given, Yuuki carries Kyle on his shoulders down the hillside to safety. As soon as Yuuki gets himself and Kyle ti to safety, Yuuki passes out in exhaustion.

Once again together with the group, Yuuki and Kyle rest and recover. The judge's wife tends to Kyle with his head injury. The group move into the palace as a temporary base/shelter, to rest and to begin negotiations with the country's police force on how to proceed.

The novel ends with the judge expressing his belief of Kyle's innocence, and his promise fo help Kyle get his acquittal.

[furiousofpanda]

SORRY FOR ANY ERRORS OR ANYTHING ITS 12 AM AND IM TIRED AS SHIT BUT I STILL PULLED THIS OUT MY ASS

Short story between Wake (POV) and Grym (wip character who I haven't drawn yet)

Let's be real here, most characters I'm about to mention are concepts in my head I have yet to draw out even though I already have whole lore and even voice claims for them.

I'll give an introduction of Grym and the place it take place in after this story.

_____________________________

"I'd like to meet you some day," You said, laying on the dark void of a barrier that separates you from the only one you can consider a friend and looking into the dangling static sky of clockwork mirrors and your island.

"I'd ..ike .o .oo" the muffled voice came through. You haven't had company like this in a long while, and even though the voice was hard to hear, it was better then the gutting silence in. Plus, guessing from your previous conversations Grym is just looking to get away from Jitter, Haddock and Xate for as much as he can.

"Ho.. wha.ev.r ..u do going fo. ..u?" He cuts through your pandering thoughts or well, his awkward silence.

"Whatever I do is crumbs if I know, it's not like I came with a job description." Wake said with a lighthearted sarcasm. "It's just the usual."

There was a long pause

"Pardon?" Grym says, you can probably guess that he's yelling on the other side.

"ITS GOING GOOD!" you yell, Grym matches your energy with a responded loud and clear "yay!"

You both continue chattering loudly until Grym gets called by a deep bellowing rumble of a voice of who you assume is Haddock, where Grym and you yell loud goodbyes through the void built.

You sit up, the mirrors don't seem to be following a pattern but slowly move down in their own rhythm to near where you now have sat up, usually some mutiverses would crack or shatter under the pressure of the void's hands pulling the mirrors through, making a loud crash or crunch, but you found an area that had multiverses with lots of success signs which leads to opportunities like this where you can talk to Grym and learn about him and what's beyond your prison. You sometimes wonder if your really bound here, but since your memory problems started occuring, you can't remember how to enter worlds. So yo do what you do best, and push yourself off the void, twisting and turning shape gracefully in a zero gravity space, collecting back together to speculate a doomed multiverse that caught your eye. Not doomed due to an anomaly as as small bit of you hoped but just something normal to watch, something you can't interfere with even if you tried.

________________________

Okay you may be asking

"What the fuck did I just read??"

Let me explain a good chunk of it so that if I make more but longer stories like this that are better written you'll at least get it.

In my cannon there is a space outside of universes and multiverses only accessible to the incomprehensible or likewise. There are no gods, no demons or angels, but something thats just all of it combined. Its more like eldritch beings and the slightly anonymous being cryptids to an extent.

Nonetheless there are rankings based on these factors

1. Type (what job do you do?)

2. Incomprehensibility

The higher up the rankings the more dangerous they are to know about, definitely a cognitive hazard for those who aren't eldritch-sorts themselves.

I'm not going to go all over them but simply the relevant ones at the moment, otherwise we'll be here literally all week

Rank doesn't determine personality, status, or form, there may be minor identifying things but typically any of these can appear as any shape or form. Lower ranks usually can't change their appearance while higher ranks change too much and/or to some capacity cannot simply be observed even by an eye of a "god"

Each area is formed for the purpose and personality of the rank that belongs there. Most Ranks such as Watchers, Caretakers, Pawns and Jury stand alone, locked in their own Zones, while all other ranks share their zones, Ranks who stand alone usually are introverted to some extent or are horrible with communication, but have jobs at sorting the multiverses that exist from the ones that are being worked on and are maybe hue successes, sorting out dead and forgotten worlds, ones forgotten by the creator and community.

Rank 0 - Oracle

Harmless to the mind, these beings are gifted individuals who have abandoned their old lives to live solitude outside the fabric of the multiverse. They are the only ones any class is able to visit, as they are able to observe any level without effects and see (or sometimes send) individuals into the past or future of specific multiverses/timelines. When they do send them back it's more like a memory, as the individual sent back is a ghost, unable to be heared or unable to touch anything in the past or future (to prevent timeline issues).

Oracle grounds are usually underneath the Guardians (Rank 20) that are separating the creators of the worlds and are typically seen as a the first line of passive defense. Don't think these dainty creatures are passive, theyvan see straight through you, knowing your intentions. If you plan on passing through the gate, they will put you unconscious even if a creature is unable to go unconscious and send them back to the multiverse they originate from or belong, which if it's another lower than guardian rank trying to trespass, will get the same treatment, sent back to their zone.

I'll explain 1 -3 later, they are still in development conceptually

Rank 4 - Watcher

Watchers are like physical moderators who catch and delete harmful anomalies, particularly ones that harm other multiverses, as in-multiverse anomalies are completely fine as long as they don't hop multiverses at a time and start breaking Multiverses down. Thus with such an important task, Watchers are usually able to take on any sort of form, but they must play by the universes rules that they have entered unless they have located and are fighting off the anomaly. This is more of a forced thing as all watchers are physically unable to use anything out of the ordinary depending on the ordinary of that world, unless they have located the anomaly, then these restraints are suddenly lifted. Location is knowledge of where (and/or when if time travel is involved), maybe not pinpoint but if they have a faint idea, it unlocks that multiverse lock temporarily. Once the anomaly is deleted or patched, the being is summoned back to their post.

Wake is a Watcher, but most watchers nowadays use their abilities to hive-mind duplicate themselves to watch while doing other things or be to places at once, wanting a more Mortal-inspired lifestyle.

Rank 5 - Weavers

Weavers and Puzzleworkers (rank 6) work together, even though most Puzzleworkers are invisible to the Weavers the work in the same area

Once a multiverse passes the test of time, the are sorted by if the multiverses have been unscathed or if they are cracked. Cracked means it still can shatter but it also has the potential to fix itself. Unscathed ones are put in picture frames hung by the same goop that the test of time was made of, the reason Weavers are nicknamed Weavers is because the make sure the goop doesn't run thin, making sure good universes don't fall and get forgotten. Of course some fall here and there unnoticed but Weavers tend to the top while puzzleworkers handle the bottom.

Grym is a Plage-doctor-esk faced character that harbors a not so fandy outfit with a cloak on top that have gold buttons down the middle. The outfit itself is stained black with the void's color other than Grym's body himself. He has legs sometimes but seems to prefer moving around with an octopus like lover body.

His voice claims is "Let time pass through" or whatever that song was that sounded like Kermit was singing it, yeah his vc is fuckin Kermit and I love Grym as a concept sm

Rank 6 - Puzzleworkers

Not going to completely cover this cause I'm getting tired of writing this and I'd have to explain the few I skipped over to have this one be fully understood, as Puzzleworkers are essentially like beings that have a body but it cannot be processed by the brain or even if without a brain, the aren't ment to be seen, so the look invisible or like a silhouette if anything. They're jobs are to pick up the broken pieces of the multiverses that have shattered and either attempt to piece it together to a whole or if there is too many missing pieces, melt it down into something new, where the concepts are sent back to creators in hope that eventually the aspects of the broken worlds gets used in some way.

That's it I'm tired, but feel free to ask questions cause I'm nowhere near done

Idk if y'all are even interested in my oc sheit so oop

[likeadragonfruit]

What is your take on what an Azula comic should include? If you wrote it, what would it include?

Ooo! Good ask, mysterious anon, good ask!

I believe this was either the first or second ask from that batch you sent me. And while I’m answering it last, it’s certainly not the least of them.

Part of what took so long, aside from a detour to wrestling with writing Azula week pieces, is I wanted to answer this ask just right. (And that only accounts for a week.) The rest of it is hesitation. Because I know I’m not the smartest or most insightful Azula fan, but I still wanted to try to give a solid answer. But perfectionism is the enemy of progress (Or something like that.) 

Anyway, an Azula comic, a truly Azula-centric comic. What should one include? Hmm…

No ableism or misogyny

Okay, that sounds so basic that it shouldn’t need to be mentioned. And yet…

But yeah, if we’re going to lean into the concept of Azula having mental illness, do it right. And do I have say more on no misogyny? However, these are exclusions, not inclusions.

Insight into her character

Azula is a character that even in the show we usually didn’t get much overt insight into. Or rather, her onscreen actions would usually be contradicted by the show’s narrative framing. 

But Azula centric content is a great chance to rectify that! I mean, it’s not even fully Azula centric, but “The Beach” actually gave us a fair bit in a short period of time.

Nuance

Again, sounds obvious but…

Nuance is vital, because it’s not about using an Azula centric frame to whitewash her, but to bring into relief her character outside of a narrative that not merely accentuated the negative, but exaggerated it (“capture by Azula is a fate worse than execution!” When capture by Azula means a prison cell, but not slow painful torture to death. As just an example.)

Portrayals that aren’t just dead serious

Azula is a character with plenty of opportunities for a certain brand of comedy and absurdity. As an example, the older comic “Going Home” showed a contrast with Azula getting the Dai Li to set up a date for Mai and Zuko. And like, that’s just the wonderful absurdity of the conqueror of a city at 14, with her own secret police force… and that’s something she’ll use them for 😂

Or the “Ember Island Arcade” comic, with a competition between Zuko and  Azula in an arcade game. 

I’m not saying the whole has to hit that tone exclusively, but an Azula story shouldn’t be afraid to have fun at some points either. It need not be a dead serious affair the whole way through.

A glorious cape

What? She looks good in a cape! I don’t see how it could hurt.

Ahem, anyway now onto

If I wrote it

As for if I wrote it, that’s a challenging one. Assuming we’re going by the standards of the existing ATLA comics, so a single comic is about 70-something pages, I’m not sure I have the skill in comic planning to map out a good outline for a story that size. It’s simultaneously a lot to plan out, but less room in which to tell a story than you’d think. (I might be thinking more literally or in detail than the question means, but that’s something I keep coming back to.)

Then my bigger problem is under what circumstances. If I have to work with what’s already been written in the comics… 

In that case, I would aim for something that firmly centers Azula, focuses on a combination of her current mindset and her view of her past. With the caveat of retconning the ever-loving fuck out of some details. Mainly, tossing the “Azula terrorized Mai by stealing mochi” nonsense from Smoke and Shadow. (I want to retcon out the general “Azula is the biggest problem in Mai and Ty Lee’s lives” as well, but you have to approach some of these things with a scalpel, not a chainsaw, sadly.) I love the dangerous ladies and would love from them to reconcile. But I think even more than that personal desire, it’s better to root the issues and grievances on all sides in, you know, not garbage ideas.

If given more free reign, you know, starting from scratch from the show’s finale. I might not be good enough to nail down exactly where I’d want to start with a first outing, could think of a rough idea where I’d want to go.

The thing is Azula in the postwar era is in an interesting position. She’s a character who was lawful and loyal to a warmongering empire. For her, just as much, if not more so in some ways than others in the Fire Nation, her world flipped itself on its head. From there, we have a question Azula would have to resolve: what do you do when the set of laws and norms you used to follow are no more? And not only are they no more, but their ending was morally right and justified? (To say nothing of her interpersonal relationships, though this journey could also be a vehicle to address the state of those as well.)

Not only does this open up possibilities to explore the idea with Azula herself, but to contrast with most other Fire Nation characters who would have to contend with something similar. She, after all, is also contending with having followed her emperor and culture into imperialist war. The only difference for her being that her emperor was also her father who saw no issue sending her into battle (which if “The Beach” is any indication is not the norm for someone as young as her.)

(There’s definitely the possibility of falling into bitter-enderism. But also other options to be explored as well. Versions of unlearning imperialism, for example, which is pretty big for being able to exist in a post-imperial era without yearning for bringing back the empire. Seeing new things, looking for new ways to define herself outside everything she’s known for all of the 14 years she’s lived so far.)

[seyaryminamoto]

As someone, who's favourite character is Zuko, let me just say that your analysis about the Southern Raiders is spot on. Something about that episode (especially the way Zuko acted) always felt a little... off to me. And I could never figure out what it was exactly and considering the fact that discussion about this episode centered around the Kataang vs Zutara, I thought I was the only one who felt that way. So, I guess thanks for putting my thoughts into words.

Oh, I really feel ya, anon. If you actually don't look at the episode from a shipping point of view, which seems to be the focus of most the fandom, a lot of unpleasant things really start sticking out. I'm personally neutral to the Kataang vs. Zutara debate, I see good points and drawbacks to both ships, and no one's going to convince me that this episode proved the superiority of either pairing, especially when the shipping interpretations have never been important to me when analyzing this episode. People can say Aang is right in the end, they can say Zuko understands Katara's plight better (which, considering Aang has lost even more people he loved than Zuko has, he certainly should have understood Katara's suffering quite well too), but focusing on whether Zuko or Aang are the angel or the devil on Katara's shoulders practically blinds everyone to the very glaring and mindboggling flaws in this episode's writing, imo.

In general, the concept of Zuko's life-changing field trips with the three Gaang members he'd wronged the most is fine and fun for most people, but from the first time I watched the show it felt like the production team knew they were pressed for time and needed some veeeery quick and effective solution for Zuko to gain acceptance in the Gaang ASAP despite all the bad blood there. I can imagine a lot of people love these episodes, but admittedly I wouldn't rank any of them among my favorites because, as interesting as some of their concepts could be, if executed right, my immersion certainly wasn't as strong as with the rest of the show due to the nagging feeling that this was all for the sake of redeeming Zuko in the eyes of each Gaang member... and not necessarily in the eyes of the audience.

They get away with it, of course, because by this point in time, the audience is 100% conditioned to love the Gaang and Zuko, and if you see them getting along, you should be rejoicing in their team-up... but if you put some emotional distance between yourself as a viewer and the events of these episodes, their writing leaves a lot to be desired, especially in the concept of giving Zuko a quick whitewashing in the eyes of Aang, Sokka and Katara, one after the other, so they can genuinely accept him as a teammate and friend. If we'd seen similar trips frequently or occasionally in the rest of the show, with two specific members of the team taking off on an adventure by themselves, it might not be so glaringly obvious (and even... artificial? I guess?) that they're trying to quick-redeem him for each of them here, but on top of it happening thrice, it's literally happening one after the other, too. There's no episodes in-between, it's just literally a four-parter arc of "let's help Zuko become friends with these three".

The plotlines to be dealt with in these episodes are basically catered to each Gaang member, tailor-made life-changing field trips based on whatever they'll value the most, all of it conveniently possible and doable in the span of time they have between Zuko's joining of their group and the show's finale. Aang needs to learn firebending, Sokka needs to save his dad, Katara is permanently grieving for her mother's death. And so, Zuko to the rescue! If he helps them with their personal character quests, he gets 50+ approval points! :'D Honestly, I'm absolutely not against the notion of Zuko befriending them, obviously not, but the methods through which they chose to make it happen simply might not be the finest...?

Zuko loses his ability to bend because he "lost his rage", but he's still angry pretty often, the show even spoofs its own writing by showing him losing his patience at Sokka... while at the same time trying to sell that Zuko "isn't angry" anymore? Zuko helps break out random prisoners from the Boiling Rock without taking a single moment to actually learn who they are, why they were locked up, and without pondering if they deserve to be helped or if perhaps they're genuinely dangerous? Zuko gives Katara every possible tool and information she needs to take revenge on Yon Rha, because, loosely quoting his own words, he "cares what she thinks of him"...?

How about if we'd seen Zuko trying to connect with Fire Nation people, to help his fellow Fire Nation citizens, especially the ones who were living in dreadful conditions, like the ones in the Jang Hui river village? How about if we'd seen Zuko saving lives rather than threatening to take them? How about if we'd seen Zuko actually reasoning with his anger, and either working his way out of it, or repurposing it consciously, or making legitimate, personal efforts to find a new source of strength for his firebending through self-reflection, above all else?

We didn't really need sudden one-on-one field trips to teach Aang, Katara and Sokka to trust Zuko: we needed Zuko to prove himself worthy of that trust, to show how much he has changed, to literally contrast his new behavior with the old, to actually see that the guy no longer jumps into violence-mode 24/7, that he's willing to listen to other people's opinions or wisdom, that he wants to learn better when he knows he's misguided or misunderstanding something or another. Would he have become BFFs with any of them in four episodes if this had happened? Well, it definitely would have happened with Aang, the other two would have been trickier, but they definitely would have been more willing to accept him if they actually got to SEE that the changes in Zuko weren't skin-deep. Katara can be as thick-headed and stubborn as she may want to be, but I have no doubts she wouldn't have been able to hate Zuko as much as she used to if she'd seen him helping people, much like she often wants their group to do. But instead, they don't get to see the actual changes and growth... they just get their biggest goals and wishes satisfied, and that's enough to decide Zuko's trustworthy, no matter whatever sketchy behavior he displays in later episodes.

I absolutely appreciate the worldbuilding context we gain for the raids on the Water Tribe through The Southern Raiders, but I don't think this was an organic way to tell the story of how Zuko became friends with the Gaang. If pressed, I'd even say that Zuko's overt desperation to be their friend is OOC, to a degree: if this guy actually knows how dangerous his father's plans are (and he's supposed to :'D), how isn't he focusing on that side of things, when he's always been such a go-getter? It's not like he grew out of this sort of ends-justify-the-means behavior, seeing as he's absolutely obsessed with stopping his father ASAP, by any means possible, in the finale, when there was no such urgency to be found ever since he joined the Gaang. How isn't he more worried about stopping Ozai than about becoming best friends with the Gaang? Immediately sharing everything he's learned about Ozai's intentions of destroying the whole world might not make them friends instantaneously, but it would certainly get someone like Sokka to take his information seriously and immediately begin strategizing how to counter Ozai's plans. Instead, Zuko spent all those weeks, over a month, even, teaching Aang firebending, going on field trips and hanging out with his new friends in Ember Island. Once you have all the cards on deck and you actually look at all of them at once, doesn't it feel like there were so many more ways to achieve what the show was going for, far more effective ways than through the "let's be friends with Zuko" arc?

Ultimately, there's very little display of growth, in my opinion, in this small arc, on Zuko's side, despite the most obvious and reasonable way to earn the trust of the Gaang would be by outright showing them how much he's grown. I won't deny I appreciate that the writers respected his personality and didn't just warp him into the perfect good softboi the way the fandom apparently interprets him, but even if Zuko was going to be cranky and speak one-liners like "I'm never happy", it wasn't impossible to write better situations for him to connect with the Gaang's members and gain their trust. Even if the writers were set on having these episodes happen exactly as they did, they absolutely could have been written in a much better way, to create an explicit and direct contrast between Zuko's early behavior and the new Zuko's behavior when it comes to things that matter (most the parallels I've seen the fandom drawing are things like "oh look he hated tea before but now he brews it for his friends! So much growth!"... would've been nice to see the growth when it came to a lot of other things, too, if the growth really was there? Am I rite...?).

I may just be influenced by other redemption arcs that focus mainly on characters having common goals and working together to achieve them, then becoming friends in the process... but I really don't see how Zuko's character benefited from these episodes. Yes, bridges were built... but they absolutely could have been built in a more organic way that didn't make people like myself (and a few others) question if Zuko had learned or grown at all, considering the way he behaves isn't all that distant from the Zuko we've seen and known throughout the rest of the show. And the fact that he really seems to have learned nothing in The Southern Raiders once you reach the show's finale... you're basically asked to take for granted Zuko did learn a lot of lessons because he says he did, to assume he's going to put them into practice sometime in the future despite he has chances to do it during the show itself but never does, simply because they drop the ball upon every opportunity to show how much he's changed.

I really don't blame his character at all, when it comes to these shortcomings... it's seriously, genuinely, a problem with the writing department. Take a look through the fandom and you'll see thousands of people who claim Zuko's character arc is the most touching, complex and beautiful writing they ever have seen... and why? Because we're in the face of tell-don't-show :'D most people's perception of Zuko's character are based not so much on HOW Zuko displays his growth, it's strongly based on him stating he made progress, even if there's too many instances where the growth simply seems to have fallen to the wayside or gone forgotten for the sake of a plotline or another. Zuko absolutely could have been written far better than this, he could absolutely have the redemption arc his fans are sure he does have, but for me... there's way too many gaps in logic, too many missed opportunities, to truly think his growth was as extraordinary as a lot of people are hung up on saying it was.

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

The Voyage So Far: East Blue (Part Two)

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

this is one of my favorite little character beats in east blue. sanji and zeff have an entire conversation and then zeff mentions, “by the way, that kid can’t swim” and sanji is like “WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SOONER!!” and is in the water in like three seconds flat. 

and, of course, zeff’s fond expression once sanji isn’t around to see.

we don’t see sanji smile like this too often- and when we do, it’s most often related to food in some way (like when he feeds gin, or in his wci flashback when sora says his food is good). it does things to my heart.

kind of reiterating myself from the last post, here, but usopp really does do a lot of cool things well before his water 7/enies lobby character development, just not as many when compared to his crewmates. which is his problem, really- he can’t stop comparing himself to them long enough to recognize he’s pretty cool by any reasonable metric, he just happens to be on a ship with nine of the most badass people on the planet and so his metric is completely skewed. 

anyways he shoots a fucking bomb into arlong’s face and that’s completely sick as hell.

zoro left alone in arlong park is so funny. he got nearly cut in half like two days ago, and instead of just leaving like a normal person when nami gives him the chance, he chooses to wipe the floor with all the fishmen around and then hang out on arlong’s throne. also, that shirt isn’t his. he stole it. presumably off one of the guys whose asses he just kicked. 

there’s really something to be said about nami’s expressions in arlong park. she’s clearly acting to an extent in most of her scenes prior to her breakdown, but at the same time, god, it really doesn’t look like it. nami in this arc is a really great example of reread value- on a reread, all her coldness and cruelty becomes barely-restrained pain and desperation. 

i really, really love one piece’s sibling relationships. and there might be a little bit of bias here, because i’m a big sister myself, but i love how varied they are, how real they feel, both adopted and biological. nami and nojiko don’t agree on everything, and they come into conflict more than once, but at the same time it’s plain they love each other so so much. 

bellemere is up there as one of my favorite flashback characters, together with corazon and roger. i love her a lot. 

i’m not even doing a thorough reread for this post, just skimming through volumes and picking out moments, and genzo telling nami that she’s fought well and there’s nothing more she can do still made me cry. 

nami has been fighting on her own for eight years, with the lives of her entire village and her only remaining family resting on her shoulders, with them unable to do anything but watch as she runs herself into the ground for them. this is where they decide they’d rather all die than have to see her start all over from scratch for them. 

arlong park is an amazingly written arc, and it pummels my heart in a new and different way every time. 

i really like that zoro, sanji and usopp all follow luffy’s lead in how he chooses to handle the arlong park situation. luffy waits for nami to ask for help, and as soon as she finally does, it cuts around to show that it’s not just luffy there- all four of them were just waiting for her word. it’s the first time the crew is entirely united for a common goal, and it feels really good. 

i really am never gonna shut up about usopp’s character development, huh. 

i really like the way the scene of him getting up the nerve to face down chuu is constructed- him rehearsing excuses and explanations cut together with memories of his crewmates (and on the next page, later the cocoyashi villagers as well), moments of theirs that he obviously admires. the one that hits me the hardest is him thinking of nami, in the moment she stabbed herself to save his life. that’s how he gets up his courage- from his admiration and respect for his crewmates’ bravery.

i think about this moment a lot. it’s one of my favorite luffy moments, and also one of the ones i think is most representative of him as a character. he’s such a delightful, laid-back person most of the time, but he loves the people he’s decided are his so much, and god help you if you hurt them. 

i think about this a lot, too. 

luffy is dumb as rocks in a lot of ways, but he’s pretty damn intuitive when it comes to people. he handles nami’s situation in exactly the right way, by waiting for her to ask for help instead of just barging unasked into the war she’s been fighting alone for years, and he handles this exactly right, too- by destroying what’s effectively her prison cell in a permanent, visible way, where she can see and know that she’ll never have to sit at that desk ever, ever again.

i just- i love luffy, so much. 

i talked about oda’s use of negative space to emphasize heavy, impactful moments in the last post, and this is maybe the best example of it yet in the story. look at this panel: the future pirate king, the stand where the last one died, and absolutely nothing else but empty space and luffy’s words: this is where the great pirate era began.

the theming of beginnings and endings in loguetown is so, so good, and it could almost be summed up with this panel alone. it’s at once the ending of the story’s east blue prologue and a new beginning- the beginning of the crew’s infamous reputations, of the quest for the one piece proper, of the entire wider story that opens up with the entry into the grand line. the end of roger’s era, and the start of luffy’s.

i love the atmosphere of loguetown so dearly. the thunder strike at the last moment, maybe a rescue and maybe sheer luck; the raging storm, the vow over the barrel, the declaration of dreams. i’ve said this before- there’s something so romantic about it, in the old-fashioned arthurian sense one piece uses the word. 

and we’re off for the grand line!

[god-of-identity]

Alright- top 3 angstiest ocs. I dare you to make me cry

It won't be easy (lying)

oh fuck ok well creaturae's been taking a darker turn lately let's see what i can do

this is gonna be way longer than i thought fuck

also i use some terms in here that if you don't follow my #creaturae tag you might not be familiar with 0-0 i have talked about all/most of them on this blog before tho if you're curious

first off- jay! she came to creaturae after dying in her story in what amounted to a pointless death. she ends up friends with parzival during the early stages of the island forming, before the castle's even built. the two hang out with lucien and adrian and others and mostly have a good time. until the parallels hit, anyway. suffice to say, parzival is not what she seems, and ends up spiraling into power hunger and manipulating jay into helping her achieve her goals. jay ends up breaking away but they're all wrapped in parallels by the time parzival's taken down. she's imprisoned and jay appoints herself warden, completely cutting off everyone else and isolating herself to the prison to keep parzival/genesis contained (she does a name switch). yada yada prison arc, parallels are warped and broken thanks to whit, but the whole emotionless ice warden thing stuck with jay for a while. genesis once freed starts going by iden and stays away from the castle for a while. rev's settled in as tahva's leader and basically turned the castle into a headquarters, and jay decides to help out, joining the council of powerful beings that are allied with tahva. she reconciles with lucien and adrian (who she'd rather violently pushed away during the prison arc) and settles in a bit. AND THEN. neapolitan trio are shoved into a death game due to jay losing a bet with dorian, however it's not your typical game. they're dropped in one of the original maps, just the three of them, and forced into multiple parallels as they try and figure out what's going on. they all end up on red life, and jay binds herself to a magical book to use the enchanting tables power to free them. however she has to kill lucien and adrian to do so. as the winner, she becomes a death-god, her power warping to her new role. they all return to the castle, lucien and adrian are fine for the most part, but there's really nothing they can do about dorian and jay's stuck as a death-god. and then. AND THEN. when the magnus archives world starts spilling entities through a rift (as so many worlds have done), jay ends up an avatar of the end. a bit more power, some new abilities, luck 100 among them- and now one of the council members who has to sometimes kill to sustain her entity. it's non-negotiable if she doesn't want the entity eating her instead. so she, along with rupee and others, do what they have to to survive. but hey, she got a cool redesign! totally worth it /s

second one to come to mind was verne! he came to creaturae from a fanfic that was never written- an abandoned wip if you will. because of this, he has very few memories of his world other than the basics of how it worked and also memories of his dead mentor. because of this, his driving motivation is that he won't be forgotten or fade to obscurity like his story did. this motivates him to join tahva and barrel up through the ranks until he ends up rev's personal assistant after helping them with a case. he also learns as much magic as he can, despite working full hours and socializing with his coworkers, determined to remain useful. he actually dodges the entities for the most part, not becoming an avatar of any kind. then, after a complicated incident, he ends up the host of a red king/blood god nicknamed kor. the contract that binds them states that verne will find a new body for kor to inhabit that doesn't have another consciousness in it, however kor can't possess a dead body and verne is unable to create one for him. after a journey to recover kor's sword and crown and to find a magic to achieve their goal, verne gets very attached to kor, viewing him as a mentor figure. unfortunately, they discover that there is simply no way for verne to get a new body for kor. at that realization, the contract is broken, and kor ceases to exist. the crown and sword shatter, and verne is left alone in the graveyard of the blood gods.

third, but certainly not the last angsty character i have, i'm gonna have to go with leo! he was a big bad in his story, but he ended up losing the love of his life to. plot events. i'm not actually sure. either way, he found his way to creaturae via interdimensional travel in search of a way to revive her. he entered into a double-life type death game because he'd heard she had been in a death game too. he ended up bound to koray, a very far in the future version of my dnd character who is at this point fully disillusioned and kept alive by the mushrooms in his body. they do not get along. koray doesn't care about the death game and often puts their shared life in danger, and eventually leo is forced to trick the system by eating a gapple, desyncing their health and ending in koray's death. leo ends up teaming temporarily with mixtape and synthesis, who are soulbound and were trapped in the death game against their will. mixtape is my current self insert and lives at the castle (as does synth), so they're privy to a lot of information. information like the fact that the woman leo is trying to fine, roki, died during her death game. his only reason for living, for entering this game, was dead long before he found creaturae. in the end, he sacrifices himself so that mixi and synth can win the game.

[dystopiandilfs]

I've had a few asks regarding my opinions on Quackity's lore and I just want to make a post answering them all instead of going individually so here's my opinion on Quackity's lore.

Has both negatives and positives and is all my opinion. I'm not going to tag as negative as it's mostly preference instead of fault so just know if you're a diehard Quackity lover and don't do criticism please skip.

Honestly I preferred Quackity's first lore stream. I understand that the second was flashbacks and explanations however it just felt off. After thinking about it I decided that what made it off for me is it being incredibly polished. I genuinely feel like very few people can get away with doing prefilmed bits in a lore stream one of which is Quackity however it has to be done well which is what Quackity's first stream did however the whole thing being prerecorded felt a bit too 'showy' for the SMP. Like it took away the essence of the DreamSMP which is cool lore with scuffed moments kept in because it's all live.

In my opinion the only person who I think could get away with lore streams being all prerecorded and polished is Dream for the sole purpose of it being the only perspective not shown before. I do however think that Dream's upcoming lore is going to be mainly flashbacks to fix plot holes and link storylines and characters so I'm excited to compare the two.

Like I said I think the entire stream being prerecorded was solely because of it being flashbacks and hopefully it's back to a mix like the first one was.

For example Fundy had a well thought out lore plan that was incredibly detailed and had similar effects to Quackity's but it still felt like a DreamSMP lore stream because of the scuffed moments.

Yes prerecorded streams mean that you can have camera man Callahan getting things from a different perspective however to me the DreamSMP should all be from the perspective of the person that's streaming. I think that's why I don't like the lore parts of Tales. (And the awkward silent book reading but that's on ADHD)

I feel like the alternative perspective shots should be strictly transition scenes that have no talking. The scenes that show off the surrounding area for example Quackity going to Sam's island being a bird eyes view works well compared to seeing it through Quackity but the constant switching during the clip with Wilbur just didn't pass the vibe check. And in my opinion was one of the weakest parts of the stream purely because of the constant perspective switch.

For example the bit with Punz and Bad being through Quackity's eyes up until the tnt went off to show the destruction was a good example of how to switch perspectives and keep the SMP essence.

One of the things that could be cool if done correctly regarding a perspective shift is Ranboo's enderwalking through other people's perspective. Another I think would be someone's slowly changing through someone's eyes like seeing Dream change in the prison through Sam's eyes or Niki, Jack and/or Fundy losing everything and the effects of that through Eret, Hbomb and/or Puffy's eyes. But that's a whole different post.

Back to Quackity's stream as much as I am critical I still want to compliment it. I love Quackity's stream always including other people. It's why the Eggpire is my favourite because it's written so anyone who wants to join the lore can join.

This stream showcased Quackity as a character a lot from the need to take control after being controlled for so long to him still being a person. The difference from him trying to manipulate Sam into killing Dream and getting mad when Sam doesn't do it to the betrayal with his friends moving on without him.

One of my favourite things was him showing that whilst he was making a casino to make money he was planning on using the money on Karl and Sapnap rather than it being solely for him. Basically showing that whilst the casino has multiple ulterior motives he still chose to make profit for his chosen family instead of solely himself. For example Dream making George King was so he could have control over the King and still have a big say in everything behind the scenes. It wasn't to give George power. However it's one of my favourite things as him removing George kick-started Mexican L'Manberg and the Dream Team separation but also still showed that Dreamm still wasn't completely using George as the second George was being threatened he removed the cause of it (he couldn't remove the threat as Techno was his ally) Basically Quackity having a casino benefitting his cause and his family was proof that he's not completely lost if you compare it to Dream's final visible humanity choice.

My favourite thing by far was the similarities between him and Wilbur's character and Him and George's character. He saw George standing on his own in front of the prison after being abandoned by Dream then the switch was Quackity being abandoned my Sapnap and Karl and being on his own. It shows similarities between George's story and Quackity's but also how the both responded differently. Same with Quackity and Wilbur it was them giving and receiving advice from eachother and how it ended up. Basically showing that if Quackity continues to follow Wilbur's path he's going to end up like Wilbur.

I said before that Quackity is a mix of Dream and Wilbur because he has the determination that they both have to reach their goals and he's quickly slipping into their mindset of doing anything to achieve said goals. I also think he sympathisers with both George and Bad as they both lost their best friends to corrupted things (Skeppy and the Egg, Dream to himself and power). Quackity is very quickly losing his fiance's to corrupted things. Sapnap is loyal to everyone but nobody has remained loyal back which could lead to corruptnap. Turned by betrayal and loneliness. Karl is lost to memories and the euphoria of adventure.

TLDR: I prefer the first stream but I still enjoyed the second one.

[bluesylveon2]

My My, I Could Never Let You Go

Summary: Sasha Zoe just wants her dad to walk her down the aisle. There is only one problem: she doesn't know who her dad is! Sasha invites 3 men in hopes of finding out which one is her father. What could possibly go wrong?

Pairings: Levi x Hange, Sasha x Niccolo, and other background relationships

Disclaimer: This is a Levihan Mamma Mia au. This fanfic is inspired by Mamma Mia which is directed by Phyllida Loyd, written by Catherine Johnson, and uses music from the pop group ABBA. Attack on Titan is a manga/anime series written by Hajime Isayama and published by Kondasha

Author’s Note: NOW EDITED! This chapter and maybe the next few will include character background. I know the movie doesn’t include that, but I am! This story will have some added/deleted scenes from the movie. I hope you like it though! Also, the characters are in their Season 4 looks. The 104 group will be 20-21. Niccolo is 23. The adults:

Hange, Nanaba, Rico, and Mike - 43 | Levi - 45 | Erwin - 46 | Moblit - 40 | Pieck - 37 | Porco - 35

Yes, the adults are mostly in their 40′s, but look young. Let’s just go with it

I will try to keep a weekly or week and a half update depending on school. 

Now let’s move to the chapter where we meet a happy and engaged Sasha! 😁

Need to catch up? Catch up here!

Ch 1: Honey, Honey

Kalokairi, Greece

1 day before the wedding

Two passengers walk out of the docked ferry. Mikasa - the tall one with short jet black hair and dark brown eyes - was grabbing the rest of her stuff while her friend Historia - the shorter one with long blonde hair and blue eyes - searched for Sasha. It didn’t take Historia long to find her. Sasha wasn’t hard to find. Despite her wearing her brown hair in a ponytail and wearing casual clothes; she was running towards them at full speed. Sasha also held a small book with her. 

“OH MY GOSH! YOU ARE FINALLY HERE!!!!” Sasha screamed as she ran towards her friends on the dock. 

Mikasa Ackerman is half Japanese and half German. She originally lived in Rothenburg ob der Tauber in Germany but moved to Kalokairi after her parent’s death when she was a teenager. Mikasa’s parents dreamed of visiting the island one day when Mikasa was older. She used to sit on her mother’s lap as she told her about the island's beauty. After Mikasa’s parents died, her great aunt on her mother’s side reached out to her from Japan and provided Mikasa enough money to move to Kalokairi. Mikasa’s great aunt was unable to take care of Mikasa because of her old age, so Mikasa chose to live in Kalokairi to fulfill her parent’s dream. The only downside was that Mikasa lived alone. Her home is a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom home. It’s enough for a person, but Mikasa felt alone without her parents. It was where she met Eren Jaeger's family. Eren’s mom, Carla, often invited Mikasa to eat so she wouldn’t get lonely. Eren gave Mikasa a red scarf as she was leaving the Jaeger household. He claimed it was a gift, so she didn’t feel lonely. Mikasa, touched by the gift, started visiting the Jaeger family more, and she even met Eren’s freind, Armin. The Jaeger home became Mikasa’s second home, and Mikasa was not alone anymore. It changed after Historia moved the island. 

Historia Reiss came from Munich and ran to Kalokairi to get away from her family. She felt confined in her home when all she wanted was freedom. She had also learned the ugly truth behind her family name a week after moving in with her father, Rod Reiss. Her uncle, Uri, was the CEO of the Fritz company, a conglomerate in Germany with other branches across Europe. The company also did some shady business orchestrated by Rod, but it was hidden from the public. The only plus for Historia staying home was seeing sister, Freida, more often. 

The only downside of running away to another country was not knowing the language. Historia was walking around the island when she accidentally bumped into Mikasa. Mikasa noticed how lost Historia looked, so she invited her into her home. Historia spills her entire life story (including her real name) to Mikasa the moment Mikasa sat down in the chair in front of her to eat dinner. Historia was horrified after she finished her story. She just told her story to a stranger who is most likely going to kick her out. Historia flinched when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to find Mikasa looking down at her with a smile. Mikasa understands what it is like to be alone, so she invites Historia to stay in her home. The girls eventually lived together as roommates until they had to leave for their modeling careers. Mikasa and Historia have even walked in Milan Fashion Week. 

The home is still under Mikasa’s name (originally it was under her great aunt, but it went to Mikasa after her passing). The girls (and everyone in their friend group), use it when they stay on the island. The current inhabitants are Hanami and Mina since they were the first to arrive. Mikasa, Annie, Hitch, and Historia are the only girls from the group staying at the hotel. 

Historia also started going by her real name after an incident with the company. Rod went to prison and Freida became the new CEO. She and Freida keep in touch often via mail to make up for the lost time and update each other of their lives. Historia told Freida about her freinds, her new maternal figure (Hange), and her girlfriend, Ymir.

Sasha met Mikasa and Historia on the island in high school. Mikasa was with her friends, Eren and Armin when Sasha met her. They were often paired up for projects and events that their friendship happened naturally over time. Sasha met Historia when she gave her some bread after Sasha was caught eating in class. Mr. Shadis, their teacher, is really a strict man. He made Sasha run laps around the whole school as punishment. Sasha wouldn’t stop thanking Historia after that. 

“SASHA!!!!!!” Historia shoved her stuff towards Mikasa and began running towards Sasha. 

“MIKASAAAAA!!!! HISTORIA!!!!!!!!!” Sasha continued yelling before glomping Historia. Luckily Historia caught herself without falling into the water.

“And where is my hug?” Sasha heard behind Historia before looking up to see Mikasa smirking at her. Sasha opened one arm out to initiate a group hug.

Mikasa briefly put both her’s and Historia’s stuff down and joined in on the hug. 

“Ugh, it’s been so long! I missed you both so much!” Sasha complained dramatically as she let go of the girls. Mikasa and Historia grab their things and start heading towards the beach with Sasha. 

Sasha looked at the group and noticed someone was missing.

“Is Ymir not coming, Historia?” Sasha asked while tilting her head to the side.

“No,” Historia says sadly, thinking about her girlfriend as she looks down as she walks. “She has caught up with work lately and won’t be able to attend your wedding.” Historia looked up and smiled “She wanted me to tell you congrats on your engagement though.”

“Well we would have been here earlier, but someone” Mikasa glared at Historia “insisted on being fashionably late” Mikasa grumbled. She gave air quotes on the words fashionably late with her free hand. 

“Well are we?” Historia giggled. She waved her hand innocently while ignoring Mikasa’s last statement 

“No” Sasha laughed “Aunt Nanaba and Aunt Rico will be here later on today, and Aunt Pieck will be here tomorrow.”

Aunt Pieck is Sasha’s only known family member from her mom’s side. 

(Sasha also heard about a grandmother, but her mom never talks about her)

According to Hange, Pieck is Hange’s younger cousin. Hange’s mom and Pieck’s mom are sisters, but they weren’t that close. Hange’s mom was more focused on her singing career, and Pieck’s mom wanted to focus on her daughter. As a result, Hange would often visit Pieck’s house in Santorini. Pieck would tell her stories about Kalokairi during one of Hange’s visits. Pieck’s stories of Kalokairi sparked Hange’s interest in the island. Pieck is currently a photographer who lives in Portugal after marrying Porco Galliard. She met Porco after a photoshoot in Spain. 

Porco is a veteran from Portugal. His brother, Marcel, is also a veteran and he was in the same unit as Porco. Both brothers began traveling around Europe after finishing their service before settling down. One day, the brothers were in Valencia, Spain after hearing of the La Tomatina Festival in Bunol. Porco met Pieck during the festival after she threw a squashed tomato straight at his face. Porco had to face her alone (Marcel was somewhere deep in the crowd) and decided to get back at her. It was a battle between speed (Porco) and stamina (Pieck, Porco had no idea how Pieck was not getting tired). According to Aunt Pieck, it was like the others in the crowd didn’t matter to them. It was her vs Porco. The two got to learn more about each other after the festival ended, and they exchanged numbers. 

Sasha has not seen her Aunt Pieck since her high school graduation. Her aunt had moved to left Greece after marrying Porco, so her visits were less frequent. Nevertheless, Sasha enjoyed looking at the postcard and photos her aunt sends every year. Seeing her aunt and uncle’s happy faces puts a smile on Sasha’s face. She wishes her mom had a similar experience. 

“I knew we should’ve waited longer,” Historia complained to Mikasa and threw her arms up for dramatic effect.

“Yeah me too,” Mikasa says sarcastically and rolls her eyes.

“Speaking of guests, are the other girls here already?” Historia asks Sasha and looks around the beach expecting the others to magically appear before them.

“The other girls are here,” Sasha replies “Mina is hanging out with Marco, Hitch is dragging Marlowe around the island, Annie is on a date with Armin, and Hanami is probably trying not to kill Jean. She has been here longer and is working together with Jean on the wedding”

Hanami is a sweet but oblivious girl they had all met in high school. She is known for making rash decisions, and it worried them. Jean usually reprimands her for being rash, and Hanami would fight back verbally. She and Jean used to not get along before, but their friendship has improved over the years. Nowadays, the both of them just like messing with one another. 

“Let’s hope that your wedding does not end in disaster,” Mikasa says with a hint of worry in her voice.

Their friend, Hanami Richter, is Sasha’s maid of honor. She was born in Greece after her parents moved from Cambridge. She is both Japanese and German like Mikasa, but looks more European. Hanami has short dark brown hair, dark brown eyes,  and wears glasses. She looks like she could be Sasha’s long lost sister. (The girls switched places once, but Hange figured out ‘Sasha’ was not Sasha. Luckily Hange didn’t get mad, but she was impressed).  Hanami is currently attending the University of Vienna to study International Business Administration. 

“Oh!” Historia exclaimed in an attempt to change the subject “Show us your ring!”

Sasha laughed before stopping their walk to extend her left hand. She showed Historia the beautiful ring on her ring finger. The ring consisted of a 2-carat diamond glistened from the sunlight. The ring was not too over the top. It was a white gold ring with a diamond placed in the center surrounded by smaller diamonds to form a halo. 

Historia let out a whistle “Niccolo did really well! Let me take a picture and send this to Ymir. She was expecting a big diamond”

Niccolo is a young chef with wavy blonde hair and green eyes. Niccolo dreams of working as an executive chef after traveling the world. However, no one appreciated his cooking despite working in a famous restaurant. Sasha met him when she and her girl friends went on a summer trip to Italy. During the trip, the group decided to eat dinner at a well-known restaurant in Rome. Everyone, especially Sasha, was enjoying their meal until Sasha started eating her lobster. The girls will never forget how Sasha couldn’t stop complimenting the lobster that she wanted to meet the chef who made it. Niccolo was shocked when his co-worker mentioned what was going on outside the kitchen. Someone was actually appreciating his cooking and he moved them to tears! Niccolo had no choice but to agree. He wanted to meet this person. Surprisingly to the girls, the restaurant let her meet the chef, but only after closing time. Sasha was in tears as she hugged Niccolo, and Niccolo was shocked to see how his food affected her. (Niccolo never told Sasha, but it was love at first sight for him). They met again months later when Jean invited Niccolo over to Kalokairi to surprise Sasha. Sasha and Niccolo eventually started dating, and Niccolo proposed to her after 2 years of dating.

As Historia took some pics on her phone, Mikasa remembered what Sasha mentioned in their group chat before they arrived.

“Sasha, what’s the big news you mentioned a few days ago?”

“Right!” Sasha exclaimed and covered her mouth with her unoccupied hand “I want you guys to guess before the big reveal.”

Historia was pocketing her phone and let Sasha drop her hand back to the side. Historia let out a gasp. She put one hand on Sasha’s shoulder and the other on her stomach. 

“You're pregnant?!?!?!” Historia yelled

“No no no! You're wrong Historia.” Sasha laughed and held up both of her hands in front of her body

(Historia was relieved. Mikasa considered Niccolo lucky because won’t be sporting a black eye on his wedding day. She didn’t say that out loud)

“So what is it then Sasha?” Mikasa after the girls started walking again.

“Weeeellllllll. I invited my dad to my wedding!” Sasha screams with glee

“What?!” “You finally found him” Mikasa and Historia shouted at the same time and looked at Sasha

“Not exactly,” Sasha replied before sitting down on a rock down the beach with the girls. Their spot at least gave them some privacy to talk.

Suddenly, Sasha’s happy expression turned serious. “You also cannot tell anyone what I'm about to say. You have to promise me that and do the salute to it too?” 

“Yes ma'am. We promise” Mikasa and Historia said before facing Sasha and doing their salute. They put both of their hands in a fist. They placed their right fist over their heart and their left fist behind their backs. It was the secret salute their friend group came up with in high school. Mikasa and Historia sat down on some rocks across from Sasha after they did the salute.

“You know what my mom says when I ask about my father. It was a summer romance, and he was gone before she realized she was pregnant with me. I would accept it and never ask more questions.”

Historia put a hand on Sasha’s shoulder and gave her an empathetic smile. She understood where Sasha is coming from. Historia didn’t know much about her family as a child since she grew up with only her mom. She met them after her first year in high school, but it was not a pleasant experience, and she would rather choose to forget it (except for Freida). 

Mikasa also gave Sasha a smile before motioning with her hand to continue.

Sasha smiled at both of her friends. “Well guess what Hanami and I found while looking through the attic for wedding decorations,” Sasha says before pulling out a leather journal. It was a brown journal that looked worn and had a leather strap to seal the book closed. 

“Is that-?” Mikasa asked

“No way-” Historia began

“Yes!” Sasha squealed “It is my mom’s old diary she kept while she was pregnant with me.”

Sasha set the diary on her lap and opened it to one of the bookmarked pages. She began to read a journal entry. 

July 17

What a night! Levi took me to a secluded beach here on the island. We danced on the beach. We kissed on the beach and-

“Dot dot dot,” Sasha said

“Dot dot dot?” Mikasa asked with a perplexed look on her face.

“What does that mean?” Historia asked Sasha confused

“Who knows?” Sasha replied with a shrug “It’s from the olden times. They had weird terminology back then. Now let me continue.”

Sasha stood up abruptly and walked off from Mikasa and Historia. The girls quickly grabbed their things as they stood up and followed Sasha.

Levi is such an amazing guy! Yeah, he may be short, is always scowling, has a funny way to drink tea, and tells poop jokes, but he is such a sweetheart. He never shows it to others, but only me. Me! I get dizzy looking at his charm and going on new adventures with him. Is he some sort of a love machine? He's practically everything I want in a guy! I really think he's the one.

“Your mom sounds like she’s really in love with this Levi guy.” Mikasa comments (she also starts questioning Hange’s tastes in men. A guy who scowls and tells poop jokes? That baffled Mikasa.)

“I think it’s cute,” Historia says with hearts in her eyes and turns to Sasha “Is Levi your father?” 

“Oh but wait” Sasha stops walking on a cliff that overlooks the sea. She gestures to Mikasa and Historia to sit down before continuing.

All this time Levi tells me he loves me, but I’m doubting that now. He’s been hiding things from me, and I found out about it this morning. He suddenly announced that he was engaged, and had to leave to get married. 

How dare he?! I was too blinded by anger to think rationally. I packed Levi’s stuff, dragged Levi out of my house, and threw his stuff (and Levi) to the nearest ferry while demanding him to leave. I didn’t want to see him again, and I didn’t want him to see how heartbroken I was. 

“Oh no. Poor Hange” Historia says sadly. Mikasa didn’t say anything, but she scowled instead. 

“The plot thickens,” Sasha says and continues reading

I texted Nanaba and Rico to do some snooping for me since the internet can be weak here on the island. I gave them the information I knew about Levi and let them do the rest. Rico managed to find some things about Levi.

How dare he? He lied to me this whole time about his last name, how he is the heir of Ackerman Bank, and possibly his love for me? No wonder he was acting mysterious when we first met. I just want to-

Sasha stops abruptly. She looked at the page again to be sure she was reading it right. The page had her mother’s writing, but there were some scribbles and small crinkles. Sasha knew right away that her mother must have cried while writing the entry.

“There are multiple tear marks and some scribbles here” Sasha comments with a solemn expression on her face.

Historia and Mikasa looked at Sasha with sorrow. It seemed as if her mom went through a lot before she was born.

There was a moment of silence until Historia spoke up in an attempt to lighten up the mood. 

“At least your mom didn’t damage the diary, or we wouldn’t have any clue who your father is. Remember that time Eren and Connie accidentally knocked over that old vase at the hotel?”

All 3 girls shivered at the memory

“Well, at least the journal didn’t meet your mom’s wrath. We got lucky there.” Mikasa says with a small smile on her face

“Yeah” Sasha laughed. It’s rare for her mom to get angry. She has only seen her mother really angry once, and it was after the incident. Luckily, her mom never got mad at her. She showered her with love and affection instead. 

Sasha turned the page to another bookmarked section and looked to her friends sitting nearby. Historia looked as if she was in deep thought. Her arm was propped up on her knee and she rested her head on her fist. 

“Something on your mind Historia?” Sasha asked

Historia perked up at Sasha’s question. She then glanced at Mikasa and then the journal. Historia looked at Sasha.

“You said Levi’s last name is Ackerman, right? What if Mikasa is related to him?”

Historia gasped and turned to Mikasa with a gleeful look on her face “You and Sasha could be related! Wouldn’t that be fun?”

“I would rather not be related to Mr. Poop Jokes. He hurt Hange and he sounds like an asshole.” Mikasa scoffed and dismissed the idea. It would be nice to be related to Sasha, but not through Levi. 

Meanwhile, Sasha laughed when Historia’s smile turned into a pout. She and Mikasa are really close friends. It would be nice to at least have one of her friends be blood-related to her.

“Wait until you hear this,” Sasha says before standing up and walking away from their spot on the beach. She started heading towards the stairs along a cliff while reading at the same time. Mikasa and Historia stood up and followed her. They don’t want to miss the rest of the story if they let Sasha walk away.

Both of them sweatdropped as they ran towards Sasha

“I don’t understand why she needs to walk off from us. I get that she needs to guide us to the hotel, but couldn’t we have heard the story all in one sitting?” Historia says to Mikasa

Mikasa shrugs before jogging (and dragging Historia behind her) to catch up to Sasha. Luckily Mikasa is still athletic from high school, so it didn't take her long to catch up. 

August 4

I met Erwin Smith - a tall man with blond hair, blue eyes, and the biggest eyebrows I’ve ever seen. He looks like the star of the latest superhero movie - out of the blue when I was walking around town. He looked lost, so I offered to show him around the island. He’s such a sweet and understanding guy. Although I’m still obsessed with Levi, one thing led to another and-

“Dot. Dot. Dot” Sasha says laughing

Mikasa and Historia gasped as the girls made it towards the entrance of Hange’s hotel (aka Sasha’s home)

August 11

Mike Zacharias - a tall man with blonde hair, light green eyes, and has a tendency to sniff people - took me to his yacht for our nightly yacht ride. We spent the night gazing at the stars and telling stories. 

The girls climbed up the steps towards the hotel. Once they made it to the top, Sasha stopped and turned around to face Mikasa and Historia before finishing up her story. 

Mike is so wild and such a funny guy. One thing led to another and-

“Dot! Dot! Dot!” Sasha and Historia squealed at the same time. Mikasa watched her friends excitement with a smile on her face

A door opens behind the girls. Hange Zoe comes in with her full glory wearing her signature white shirt with overalls while carrying a broom. She sets it off towards a nearby wall.

“Here come the bridesmaids” Hange sang with her arms open for a hug

“Hange!” Mikasa and Historia say with excitement and run to get a hug and a kiss on the cheek from Hange. Sasha quickly hides the diary behind her back. She is thankful that her mom was focused on her friends instead of her.

“Look at you! You’re both so beautiful and you need to start growing” Hange ruffled their hair and laughed

“You look like you’re having fun” Hange smiled and gave them the proud look only a mother would give towards her children

“I used to have fun” she added with some reminiscence in her voice. She thought of the 3 men who impacted her life as she turned around to pick up her broom. 

“Oh, we know.” Historia giggles before Mikasa discreetly elbowed her to tell her to shut up.

Hange looked at the girls suspiciously and Sasha smiled before motioning to her friends that they needed to go. Hange shrugged before going back to the door she came from, leaving Sasha and the others alone.

The girls let out a sigh of relief before heading to Sasha’s room. Hopefully, no one else runs into them or it would raise suspicion.

Sasha walked towards her bed and sat down once they made it to her room. Mikasa and Historia set their stuff off to the side and stood in front of Sasha.

“So, who is your dad? Levi, Erwin, or Mike?” Mikasa asked

“I don’t know!” Sasha exclaims 

“But which one did you invite?” Historia asked

Sasha didn’t answer and stayed silent. Historia and Mikasa picked up on her silence and immediately knew

“Oh. My. God.” they said while simultaneously stepping back and sitting down on a nearby chest

Sasha squealed as she stood up. A big smile grew on her face 

“Do they know?” Historia asked

“Well, would you write to a total stranger ‘Will you come to my wedding? You might be my father?’ No! They think mom sent the invites and no surprise with what’s in here-” 

Sasha picks up the diary from her bed

“They said yes!” Sasha squealed causing Historia and Mikasa to jump up with glee

The girls proceed to have an impromptu dance party in Sasha’s room to celebrate. They danced around for a bit but stopped after Sasha decided to head out to her balcony with her mom’s diary. Mikasa and Historia stayed behind and sat down on Sasha’s bed. They wanted to give her space to think about everything so far.

“I’ve heard so much about them, and I want to know more about them too,” Sasha says softly to herself. She glances down at the diary and smiles “Once I do, I can know how much they mean to me.”

Skiathos, Greece

1 day before the wedding

Two taxis were heading to the Skiathos port. Both taxis were trying to reach the ferry before it left for Kalokairi. 

Erwin sat calm and composed with his business suit, but he was nervous on the inside. How would Hange react to his sudden appearance? What would she say? Is she still with the other man? He can feel the timer to the meeting counting down in his head. “If only the taxi went a bit faster,” Erwin thought to himself. 

Meanwhile, in another taxi, sat Levi. He was starting to get impatient. Levi cursed his luck before putting his pocket watch back in his shirt pocket. He would have been on Kalokairi a lot earlier if the 1 stop of the flight didn’t take too long. Levi leaned forward to tell the driver to speed up, but it seemed as if the ride to the port was too slow (in Levi’s opinion). 

As Levi sat back, he dug into the pocket of his slacks for a small blue pouch. He untied the knot and dumped whatever was inside the pouch onto his palm. A simple yellow gold ring with a diamond fell out. Levi bought that ring weeks after coming back from Kalokairi and settling his family drama. It was kind of a dumb purchase if Levi thought really hard into it. He broke Hange’s heart and she kicked him out. It’s simple, really. Hange would not say yes if he had returned to Kalokairi and proposed to her. 

Nevertheless, Levi thought yellow gold would look good on Hange’s skin because it reminded him of the yellow shirt she wore when they met. He only kept it because of the memories they had, and Levi will always treasure it. Levi puts the ring back in the pouch and pockets it. He doesn’t see himself opening it again if Hange decides to kick him out for a second time. 

Both taxis make it to the port, and both Levi and Erwin run towards the ferry only to see it leaving.

“Damn it!” Levi yells

“I agree,” Erwin calmly says next to him

Levi looks up to find a tall man with blond hair and the biggest eyebrows he had ever seen, He didn’t notice Erwin’s presence until he spoke. Levi looked at him. He internally prayed to himself that he would make it to the wedding on time and see Hange. 

“When is the next ferry leaving?” Levi asks Erwin. Levi didn’t know much Greek since Hange was the one who helped him before. He hoped the blonde stranger at least knew something

Erwin walks towards the nearest sign and reads it using basic Greek he learned years prior 

“Monday,” Erwin says dejectedly and Levi groans in frustration

“Hey!” they hear from the sea and turn their heads

They both see a tall, blond-haired man with a mustache and a beard waving to them from a yacht. There was another man with him who looked like he was doing last-minute preparations before sailing. 

“Are you heading to Kalokairi?” the man asks Levi and Erwin

“How did you know?” Levi yells. The man is a good distance away from him after all.

The man laughs “I could practically smell the desperation off of you”  Erwin’s face turns red from embarrassment. Levi scowled

“You can come with me. The name’s Mike Zacharias by the way. That man over there” He points to a guy with brown hair styled in a pompadour “That’s Gelgar. He’s been taking care of my yacht since I was away. He can help bring us to the island.”

“Sure,” Erwin spoke up. “My name is Erwin Smith. He then raised a hand and gestured to Levi 

“This is-”

“Levi Ackerman” Levi finishes for Erwin. Levi revealed his last name to them unlike when he first met Hange. Luckily both men didn’t make any connections between him and his family business.

Mike turned to Erwin “Well then, Erwin.” He turned to Levi “and Levi. You better hurry up and board the yacht soon. We are heading to Kalokairi once you are settled.” Mike said and walked off to check on everything with Gelgar

Levi sighed. He had no choice. He might as well go with Erwin and Mike since Mike is his only hope of reaching Kalokairi on time. 

Meanwhile, Erwin recognized Mike after many years. He had some physical differences but didn’t look much different overall. Erwin knew that Mike was the man Hange was with when he came back to see her. 

There is only one question that kept playing in Erwin’s head. Is Mike still with Hange?

©: This is where I insert all rights reserved stuff. This story belongs to me. Do not modify or republish

References used/Notes:

Obviously the salute used in the military

Sasha having the girls salute is a nod to OVA 2 where she makes Reiner do it

Some inspiration from both Mikasa and Historia’s backstories

Hanami is my OC from AOT 2 FB (I posted what she looks like on my Tumblr bluesylveon2)

I added more characters because I want Sasha to have more friends in her bridal party

Levi being the heir of Ackerman Bank is based on list I found of big businesses in Germany. Two were based in Frankfurt and were only banking, hence the name

But Levi owns a cafe in the Prologue? Will be explained later

Sasha and Niccolo’s first meeting is from the recent episode

I decided for Porco to be Portuguese because Porco means pig in Portugese

I’ve heard of La Tomatina and it looks like fun

I base the character nationalities on names/some reddit posts. I saw one where Pieck was Greek so I added that to her character

I picked Santorini because it’s a city I want to visit one day. Also Sootopolis (from Pokemon) is based off of there

Hange’s diary is the same journal as the one seen in AOT (Ilse’s notebook and AOT 2 FB)

The ‘Erwin from a superhero movie’ is because of Chris Evans

Hange is canonically the scariest when mad. I tried to portray this with Levi’s backstory and the vase incident 

I added the ring scene with Levi for future purpose

[unacaritafeliz]

directors commentary for skin deep and/or midnight adventures, please? i'm in love w skin deep (as we all shld be) and the dynamic u establish btwn jet and suki in midnight adventures is so fascinating!!!!!

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS ASK BUT YES I WILL TALK ABOUT SKIN DEEP THE BEST FIC I HAVE EVER WRITTEN THAT EVERYONE EVER SHOULD READ

(commentary for midnight adventures here)

Anyway, Skin Deep started with an ask from @moth-time about zukki + soulmates and Yue wormed her way in there just because it sounded nicer to have three people and also because i love poking people into the polycule (teo and jet are beneficiaries of this too), and then five days later i sent moth this message because i had brain rot:

Based off the little soulmates au I did for you, where they see the writing on their arms. But Zuko doesn't ever write to them because he knows having foreign soulmates isn't allowed

He does, however, track the avatar because Sokka keeps writing to Suki and Yue about where he is

And then at the boiling rock when he's forced into prisoners uniform the others see his skin and angstttttt

and then I said I probably wouldn't write the whole thing but y'know.... i did eventually. And thank goodness. it turned out so well.

the rest is under a cut for length + spoilers!

i wrote a vague outline and the opening two sections in september but then i got distracted by hockey au and a bunch of other fic (as I do) until I saw the prompts for sunken ship weeks and realised that while Sokka/Suki/Zuko was not a valid ship, Sokka/Suki/Yue/Zuko was so... that's what I wrote. It was the last fic I wrote for the week, and it was the hardest because I wanted it to be perfect.

So the first big hurdle I had was whether or not Yue should die? Because I really didn't want to die but also it worked really well as a turning point for the story. So she had to die :( but i really wanted to make it not seem like she died for zuko's angst even though... she did. but it's canon that she dies!!!!!!! I decided pretty early (like on the day I came up with the fic concept) that she had to die but I still feel sad about it. One day.... I will let her live and not move to Australia (sorry Samwell!Yue. You deserved better).

I was also going to include Zu burning down Kyoshi Island but couldn't work out what writing would happen, so I thought people could imagine it. There's a lot of scenes missing from this (the betrayal in Ba Sing Se is another good example) but since it follows canon so closely, I felt like people could fill in the gaps). I think i included all the other things I wanted to include - though I changed the reveal scene. More on that at the end.

A small detailed I loved was Iroh's soulmate backstory. I added it pretty close to the end but it really did lift the entire story. Everyone say thank you Iroh for also being terrible to his soulmate. Runs in the family.

Speaking of family - I loved writing Ursa! Tried to write her a bit.... idk. mysterious? In the show we don't really know how she feels about the war, so I tried to keep that here too. She tells Zuko not to reply but what are her intentions? Does she believe outsiders are evil? Does she just want to protect Zuko from his dad? Who knows. Not me.

I also ended up changing the reveal from the boiling rock to the day before the comet because i wanted zuko to actually reveal the information himself. I felt it was important that he wrote back, not that he was caught out. I really wanted that confession scene to go well, and Sokka acted perfectly. I am a big fan of characters having to work for forgiveness. I think Suki would be more forgiving - she never met Yue, she never wrote directions on her arms, Zuko saved her, etc - but with Sokka... Zuko has to work for it.

And you already know this, but maybe some people don't know that the fic originally finished after that section, before the meeting in the hospital ward. Moth and Hez FORCED me to give the fic a hopeful ending ("it's just, as a sokka stan, i couldnt let it end on a cliffhanger while he was in emotional distress" said hez. "I love that Zuko was also in emotional distress but that's okay for you," i replied.)

I am really glad that I was made to add the extra section because it does make the story better (and removes the need for me to write a sequel). If I did a sequel now it would cut out the getting together stuff and move straight to the shenanigans, which is so much better. Thank you for my life, I owe you two everything.

but how fun would it have been to end on 'i wish you never told us we were soulmates haha'

Anyway I think I have talked about this enough? Maybe? I am so glad you liked the fic! Thanks for asking!

[alex51324]

Thomas and the Island of the Gays, rough draft, first section

Several people have mentioned how excited they are for this, and honestly I could use a dopamine hit, so I thought I’d try something I haven’t done for a while and post what I have so far.  (Way back in the days of LJ, I used to call this “Is this anything?”)

For those who didn’t see the previous post, this is an AU where Thomas ends up in a very unusual treatment program for his homosexuality.  Will eventually include just about every gay OC from every Thomas story I’ve ever written. Thomas/Happiness (slow burn).

Content notes: The first part of this is a bit dark, because Thomas was in a much less fun “treatment” program before the one that the story is really about.  Also, this whole section is pretty much exposition and worldbuilding porn.  

Content warnings:  conversion therapy, mention of suicide, period-typical homophobia, brief period-typical racism.  

And I hope to God my Readmore works, because otherwise this is gonna kill people’s dashes.  

Thomas stood blinking in the bright light.  Bright to his eyes, anyway—he hadn’t stepped foot outside The Clinic for…God, how long had it been?  Hadn’t worn his own clothes, either; it felt strange to be wearing shoes with laces in them.

They watched you when you shaved, too, and counted the razors after you were done.  One bloke had managed it anyway—bedsheet twisted into a rope and looped around a doorknob.  That had to take some balls.  Thomas knew he couldn’t have managed it.  Maybe if he’d had a chance, after they told him he was going…wherever it was he was going.

“—Tanner, and that one’s Barrow,” the guard—orderly—was saying.  “You want to watch out for that one.  Took a swing at me mate earlier this morning.”

“Goodness,” said a more educated voice.  Doctor…L, something.  He’d been to examine Thomas, and a couple of the others, some time ago.  If Thomas had known what it was about, he’d have lied more. Doctor L. went on talking, something about not giving any further trouble.  It ended with a, “Will you, Mr. Barrow?”

Thomas hadn’t been paying enough attention to tell whether the question warranted a “yes” or a “no,” so he just said, “Sir.”

A few more remarks, and a quantity of paperwork, passed between Dr. L. and the Clinic man, and then Thomas and Tanner were herded into a waiting motor-taxi, the guard getting into the front with the driver.  There was another gentleman in there, but none of the rough sorts that The Clinic employed as orderlies.  Bit strange, that, when they were transporting two such dangerous incurables.

Doctor L. introduced the other gentleman as Doctor something-or-other, but Thomas didn’t catch it. As the cab lurched into motion, Dr. L. began questioning Tanner about his history before The Clinic.  Thomas had, deliberately, taken as little notice as possible of his fellow inmate-patients, but he had a vague idea that Tanner had been talkative, at first—and he’d apparently learned nothing from his stay at The Clinic, because it took very little prompting to get him chattering like a magpie.  

He went on until they fetched up at a railway station—Thomas didn’t notice which one—and were herded through the sparse midmorning crowd to a second-class compartment.  The guard took the seat nearest the door, then the two gentlemen, and their charges next to the windows.  Worn out from the short walk, Thomas let his head slump against the glass.

The respite didn’t last long.  Dr. L. started talking again, and Thomas belatedly realized he should have summoned up the wherewithal to pay attention, when whatever he’d been saying finished up with a, “Mr. Barrow?”

Thomas glanced over at Tanner, hoping for some sort of hint as to what he was expected to say, but none was forthcoming.  “Sir?” he essayed.

“You were employed as a valet, prior to your time at The Clinic?” Dr. L. repeated, peering at Thomas over his spectacles.

Oh.  “Yes, sir.”

“And before that, a footman, and RAMC in the war,” he went on, consulting a document folder that was open on his lap.  “We’ll be spoilt for choice, when it comes to finding a place for you.”  

Was that sarcasm?  It had to be.  Thomas attempted to take umbrage, but gave it up as too much work. “Sir,” he said flatly.  

“Once you’ve settled in, of course,” the other doctor added quickly.  “Where were you stationed?”

That one, Thomas had to think about, the place-names hovering just out of his grasp.  Finally, he said, “France.  Sir.”  

“Hospital work, or in trenches?”

Thomas knew that one. “Yes, sir.”

The second doctor shot a sideways glance at Dr. R, and Thomas realized that his answer hadn’t precisely been enlightening.  “Bit of both.”  There was more to it than that—hospital work first, then his time at the Front, then hospital again, back in England.  But explaining seemed like too much effort.  

Another sideways look at Dr. L., this one more obvious, and the other doctor asked in an undertone, “Is he drugged?”

Thomas said, “Yes, sir,” at the same time that Dr. L. said, “He shouldn’t be.”

There was a longish stretch of silence, and Tanner chipped in, “It was after he hit that orderly.”  

Thomas could have done without everybody being reminded of that, but at least they pretty much left him alone, after that.  Dr. L. spoke at some length to the guard, and when he’d finished with that,  Tanner went on talking nineteen to the dozen, but Thomas just drifted, settling back against the window and letting the scenery pass in front of his eyes.  

He’d only had the sedative, this time, so it wasn’t unpleasant.  He was vaguely aware that, by not listening to anything the two doctors were saying, he was missing a lot of valuable information about where he was headed—but he couldn’t quite manage to care.

He’d been full of plans on his way to The Clinic.  Them at Downton had arranged for him to be sent.  After that disastrous midnight kiss, Jimmy had wanted him sacked without a reference, but somebody—Thomas still wasn’t sure who—had heard of a place that claimed to be able to fix men like him.  Thomas knew it had to be nonsense, but with the offer of a decent character after, had agreed to take the cure, figuring that he could always pretend it had worked.  

The brief spell of unemployment while he’d received medical treatment of an unspecified nature would take some explaining, he had thought, but if he alluded to the war, no one would ask many questions—a case of shell-shock was considerably more respectable than the truth, but still not something anyone wanted to discuss at a job interview.  

But, like so many of Thomas’s plans, it hadn’t turned out that way.   If he’d known what he was getting himself in for, he’d have taken sacking-without-a-reference like a shot.  Not only was the “treatment” more horrific than he could have possibly imagined—the vast majority of the men subjected to it were there as a condition of release from prison—but they had an utterly indecent apparatus for determining whether or not it was working.

Which, of course, it hadn’t. And if that was how they treated you when they still had some hope for you…well, Thomas really didn’t want to know what they did with the incurable cases.  

He was, unfortunately, going to find out.  

The journey lasted…well, Thomas wasn’t sure, but at one point sandwiches appeared.  Thomas looked at his with undisguised loathing, and the orderly made a few threatening moves in his direction, but Dr. L. said something to him, and he subsided without actually making Thomas eat it.  

They wound up somewhere near the sea, and it wasn’t until he’d been herded onto some sort of boat or ferry that Thomas realized they’d left the orderly behind at the railway station. There might have been a chance to escape, somewhere in there, but if there was, Thomas had missed it.  

Decking that guard had probably been a mistake.  

Boarding the boat, Thomas had a vague impression of fairly substantial size, and thought idly of, perhaps, separating himself from his keepers in a crowd, but they four appeared to be the only passengers.  The two doctors showed him and Tanner into a place like a waiting room at a very small railway station, with hanging lamps and wooden benches, and passed around tea and biscuits.

The tea was welcome, and the biscuit marginally less unappealing than the sandwiches earlier, so Thomas nibbled at it experimentally.  His stomach lurched, and nobody said anything when he abandoned it on the saucer.  

Thomas attempted, and nearly managed, to maintain some awareness of his surroundings, but the only even halfway useful thing he learned was that the journey was a short one. That might have been worth knowing, in terms of escape plans, if Thomas had the slightest idea of how to operate a boat, but he didn’t.  

The boat fetched up at a small, rocky island with a tiny village clinging to one side of it, and they disembarked onto a quay, or wharf, or whatever you called it, where were gathered a dozen or so men, and a couple of carts with ponies hitched to them.   Everyone, apart from the ponies, eyed Thomas and Tanner with evident curiosity.  Thomas wondered just how much they knew about the purpose of the sanitarium. If it was of any size at all, it had to employ at least half the village, so how much of a secret could it be?

Most of the men began unloading cargo from the boat, but Dr. L. gestured to one of them, who trotted over.   “These the new arrivals?”

Dr. L. nodded.  “Sylvester Tanner, and Thomas Barrow,” he said, indicating them.  “Gentlemen, Theo will show you up to the main house and get you settled in.”

Theo was medium-sized and inoffensive-looking.  Thomas probably could have taken him—but what would be the point?  Theo said something Thomas didn’t catch, to which Tanner replied brightly—flirtatiously, even –“I’m sure we’ll be in good hands.”

Any of the orderlies at The Clinic would have smacked him, but Theo just smiled, and Dr. L. said, “Indeed.”  To the one called Theo, he added, “You can give Mr. Tanner the grand tour, but Mr. Barrow has been sedated, so there won’t be much point showing him anything but the essentials.  Bring him to my office tomorrow at eleven.  He’s excused from everything until then, but do try to get him to eat something.”  

Apparently he’d noticed about the biscuit, after all.  

Theo led them through the village.  Thomas noted a pub and a tobacconist, not that either was likely to do him much good, before becoming too weary to bother seeing things.  Of the sanitarium itself, he had only a vague impression of a stone pile. Up a staircase, down a corridor, and they wound up in a sort of ward, unoccupied at this time of day.  Theo pointed him at one of the cots, and Thomas collapsed onto it and fell promptly and deeply asleep.

He had the sort of vivid and incoherent dreams that you got when you’d been drugged insensible, and woke with a head full of disjointed and rapidly-fading images, a tongue that felt like shoe leather in his mouth, and a chatter of overlapping voices.

The rest of the ward’s inmates were back now, a half-dozen or so of them, and they all seemed to be talking at once, as they shaved or changed their shirts or combed their hair. It reminded Thomas a bit of a barracks in the war, and not at all of The Clinic, where making any kind of sound was more or less inviting the orderlies to come and shut you up.  

“He wakes!” said a familiarly irritating voice.  Tanner, and he must’ve changed his clothes since getting here; Thomas couldn’t imagine The Clinic letting him out on the street in a tie like that.  It almost looked like a ladies silk scarf.  

“You feeling all right?” asked Theo.  

Thomas sort of grunted, and Theo pointed him at the W.C.  After splashing some cold water on his face, Thomas felt marginally more human. He emerged from that sanctuary to find that much of the crowd had departed, leaving Theo, Tanner, and a couple of others.  “We’re just going down to dinner, if you feel up to it,” Theo told him.  “I’d have told the rest of that lot to keep it down a bit, except I was halfway thinking I ought to wake you up for it anyway.”  

He must, Thomas thought, be a patient, some sort of trustee, rather than an employee.  The Clinic had had a few of those, and as a rule, they’d been worse than the orderlies, but this Theo didn’t seem to have put much of a damper on Tanner.  As they started back down the stairs, Thomas essayed a question.  “What do they do to you here, if you don’t eat?”

Stopping halfway down the staircase, Theo glanced over his shoulder and up at Thomas.  “Nothing much,” he said, with a hint of pity that made Thomas want to kick him.  “Did they give you a treatment before you left that place this morning?”

“No,” Thomas said.  

Theo continued walking. “Sometimes it takes a bit for your appetite to come back,” he said.  “But the food here’s not bad, usually.”

Thomas was dubious about that—the slop they shoved at you at The Clinic was barely edible even if you weren’t heaving your guts up two or three times a day.  But the dining room that Theo led them to had, if anything, even less in common with The Clinic than the ward had.  It looked more like the dining room of an hotel that had come down in the world a bit—wainscoting, chipped; lamps, numerous but sooty and tarnished; tablecloths, white linen, but stained and mended in places.  There were about half a dozen tables, each seating six or eight.  It was about as loud as an Army mess of comparable size, but without the shoving and swearing.

He, Tanner, and Theo sat at a table with four others.  Theo introduced them, but Thomas didn’t catch the names.  One of them asked him something, and he blinked stupidly.  

“Thomas had a bit of a rough morning,” Theo said delicately.  “I’m not sure he’s feeling quite himself yet.”

The others all made sympathetic noises, and before long, another bloke arrived, carrying a large, heavily-laden tray.  The ones nearest him helped unload it, and then the newcomer sat in their table’s remaining chair.  

That, too, reminded him a bit of the Army.  The mess tins held enough for six, and usually one man was dispatched to queue up for it.  But, as Theo had intimated, the food looked to be quite a bit better than Army rations, with meat that had clearly never seen the inside of a tin, roasted potatoes that were still crisp, and fresh bread.  The dishes were passed around the table, and as each one came to him, Thomas warily helped himself to a few bites’ worth of everything.  

He didn’t do much more than pick at it, but no one seemed to take any notice.  There was a great deal of conversation, mostly about people Thomas didn’t know.  From various bits and pieces, he gradually gathered that several of the men were, in fact, employed in the village, so perhaps Dr. L. hadn’t entirely been taking the piss—though it was difficult to imagine anyone in such a remote place needing a valet, much less one who was an incurable homosexual.  

When the dishes were cleared, the bloke sitting next to Thomas offered him a cigarette, which Thomas was happy to accept.  He lit it for Thomas, too, which caused him to raise a mental eyebrow, but was perhaps just as well—Thomas didn’t have the faintest idea what had happened to his lighter. “Thanks,” he said, and groped for the man’s name.  

“Richard,” he supplied, adding, “This place is…a lot to take in.”

“You said it,” Thomas muttered.

“I’d invite you to come find me if you need a native guide, but we’re not allowed in each others’ rooms. For obvious reasons.”

“No,” Thomas agreed. He didn’t suppose they would be.  

“You’ll be all right, once your head stops spinning,” Richard added.  

“Yeah?” Thomas asked.

“Yeah,” Richard said, with a warm smile.  

Worn out from the exertion of dinner, Thomas slept fairly well…at first.  Somewhere in the small hours, he woke again, jittery and ill at ease. At The Clinic, they didn’t want you getting out of bed until they told you do, but no one stopped him, when he ventured to the W.C. for another restorative splash of cold water. Emboldened by this success, he stood for a while at a window—open, and unbarred—wishing he had a cigarette.  

He thought he might be in for it when Theo, who slept in the ward with them, stirred, but he only said, in a whisper, “You all right, Barrow?”

“Yes,” he whispered back. “Just—awake.”

Theo made a sleepy sort of sound, and fumbled in the bedside table, producing a watch, which he peered at in the moonlight.  “It’ll be at least three hours before anyone’s up,” he said, with a yawn.  “But if you’re still up then, I’ll show you around before breakfast.”  

It was very difficult to tell, Thomas reflected, whether that was meant as a treat or a threat, but whatever it was, he was still up some hours later, when the watery light of dawn crept through the curtains.  He gradually realized that the large shape at the foot of his bunk was, in fact, the trunk he’d packed with all his things before going to The Clinic, and hadn’t seen since.  He was itching to check if any of his things had been pinched, but stayed where he was, feigning sleep as a man came into the ward and shook one of the others awake.

The other man had a rummage through his own trunk, suggesting that this was an authorized morning activity, so once he had dressed and gone, Thomas sat up slowly and eased open the clasps on his.  

On top was his overcoat, under that his good suit, and hidden away at the very bottom were the dozen packs of cigarettes he’d laid in for his “treatment.”  They might be pretty stale now, but infinitely better than nothing.  He stuck one pack in the pocket of his pyjamas, and two more under the mattress, in case his trunk disappeared again.

The latter, while a sensible precaution, had the unintended side effect of waking up Theo, who glared at him balefully for a moment before grabbing a sponge bag and stumbling off toward the W.C.

He emerged a few minutes later, freshly shaven and looking marginally more awake.  He caught Thomas’s eye and tilted his head in the direction where he’d been, and mouthed, “All yours.”

So Thomas collected his own things from his trunk, and enjoyed his first unsupervised shave (et cetera) in some months.  His face in the mirror was pale and haggard, but when he’d emerged, dressed, and met Theo in the corridor, Theo said, “You look a bit less ghastly than you did last night.”

“Thanks,” Thomas said, dryly.  

“I meant, I hope you feel less ghastly.”

“I suppose,” Thomas admitted.

“Good,” Theo said, and launched into the tour.  The ward they’d just left, he explained, was for new arrivals.  Once they thought you could be trusted to behave yourself, you were allowed your own bedroom—in which, he echoed Richard from the previous night, you were not permitted to entertain callers.  The rest of the corridor was bedrooms, and so, apparently, were the two floors above.  

If they were laid out the same as this one, Thomas calculated that meant bedrooms for about thirty patients.  A bit fewer, he thought, than had been at dinner the night before.  

Perhaps there was somewhere else they sent you, after the Arrivals Ward, if you couldn’t be trusted to behave yourself.  

“There isn’t really anything to see up here, so we’ll go downstairs,” Theo said.  

They took the same route as they had to go down to dinner, but the night before, Thomas had not had the wherewithal to notice that it was a wide staircase, with carved banisters that were now considerably scuffed, but had once been fairly good.  

Not, in other words, the servants’ stairs.  

They emerged into a front hall.  “Post gets left on that table,” Theo said.  “But it only comes once a week, when the boat comes with our supplies.   You remember where the dining room is?” At Thomas’s nod, he continued, “Next to it’s the meeting room.”  He opened the door briefly, revealing a glimpse of a circle of ill-assorted chairs, arranged under a lozenge that had probably once held a chandelier.  “And over on this side, there’s the library—don’t expect too much of it, but it’s quiet���smoking room, big parlour, small parlour.”  

These rooms, too, showed traces of past grandeur.  Theo let them out onto a rather chilly veranda, where he lit a cigarette, offering one to Thomas.  “Stable and outbuildings are over there—I don’t imagine you’re much interested in those?”

“Not particularly,” Thomas admitted.  

Nodding, Theo gestured back toward the house, to a small wing jutting out to the left.  “That bit’s Dr. L.’s domain—consulting rooms on the ground floor, and he lives above the shop, so to speak.  You can get to him from inside, but the door’s in an awkward spot, so unless it’s really bucketing down, it’s actually easier to go around this way.”  

“I see,” Thomas said, though he wasn’t sure he did.

“The place was built as an hotel,” Theo explained.  “That wing was the private quarters of the family that owned it—or ran it, something like that.  I expect they didn’t want paying guests blundering in there, demanding hot water and extra towels.”

The floor plan was not precisely the part that left Thomas confused, but he only said, “I thought it looked like an hotel.”

“Never a very successful one, I gather,” Theo said.  “I believe they envisioned it as a rival to Bognor, but, well, the place gets barely a dozen sunny days a year, and half of those it’s too cold to step outside without a coat.  They got a few visitors for the fishing and shooting, but not much.  Then an uncle of Dr. L.’s had a go at running it as a tuberculosis sanitarium, but the climate’s not any more suited for that than it is for a seaside resort.   Dr. L. took it over around the turn of the century, and, well, third time lucky, I suppose.”

“Not like the current clientele is in a position to be choosy,” Thomas pointed out.  

“There is that,” Theo agreed, tapping ash from his cigarette.  “Not everyone comes here from the same place—most of the ones who work for a living, yeah, but Dr. L. has arrangements with a private clinic or two, and some Harley Street specialists.  But there isn’t another place like this they could go.”

“I see,” Thomas repeated, once again without complete honesty.

“He does insist that they’ve attempted the cure somewhere,” Theo added.  “Dr. L. does, I mean.  And that they ‘demonstrate commitment to the community’ by spending whacking great sums on fifty-year leaseholds.   Which is more or less the way he manages to keep the place running for the rest of us, so….”  He shrugged. “Which is all just to say, if you liked being a valet, we haven’t got any earls, but we’ve got one’s younger son. Lord Gerald—he lives up there.” Theo gestured in the direction of the only other substantially-sized building in view, a stone house, looking considerably older than the hotel, which Thomas wouldn’t have hesitated to call a smallish manor, if it had been located anywhere other than a few miles west of nowhere.  

“…huh,” Thomas said.  

“He’s nice,” Theo added. “If it was a butler he was looking for, I’d be tempted to take it myself, but he’s got one of those, some chap who came with him from the ancestral pile.  And I like the job I have now.”

“What’s that?” Thomas asked.

“This,” he said. “Looking after the new fellows.  I used to—well, never mind.”  He tossed away his cigarette and led the way back inside. Showing Thomas through a very battered green baize door, he explained that all of the “residents,” as the patients seemed to be called, pitched in with various chores, on a rotating basis—Dave, the one who’d been woken up a bit earlier was taking his turn as cook’s helper this week—but a few, Theo among them, were employed for particular jobs.

“You’ll be assigned something to do in a day or two,” Theo added.  “Nothing complicated, to start with.  You were a footman, before you were a valet?”

“Yes.”

“It’ll be something you can just about do with your eyes closed and one hand tied behind your back.”

Downstairs were all of the usual domestic offices—a slightly bigger kitchen than Thomas would have expected in a private house of this size, but the only really striking difference was that the workers were all men.  

Over breakfast, Thomas mulled over Theo’s suggestion that he might valet the resident lord, and all that it implied.  If gentlemen—and even a peer’s son—paid to be here, it really couldn’t be very much like The Clinic, as Thomas’s own observations had already suggested.  But Theo’s offhand statement about the gentlemen paying to keep the rest of them pointed to another sinister possibility.   Toffs treating the working class as their own personal brothel wasn’t precisely new, although a house full of working-class queers on a remote island was a more extreme version of the concept than Thomas had ever encountered.  

If that was how it was, he could think of worse fates than being under the protection of the “nice” Lord Gerald.  

After breakfast was something called the “morning meeting,” which Thomas was, Theo reminded him, not strictly required to attend, since he was “excused from everything” until his appointment with Dr. L. later that morning, but, lacking any notion of what he might do instead, Thomas followed the rest into the meeting room.

From the name, he vaguely imagined some sort of Nonconformist religious service, and this impression was not dispelled when the man in charge, a sprightly gent of about fifty, introduced himself as “Father Timothy.”  Nor when the meeting began with a prayer, during which they were all required to hold hands.  

After that, though, the meeting moved on to secular matters.  First, Thomas and Tanner—“call me Syl”—were introduced to the rest of the group, and then there was a rather lengthy—and somewhat contentious—discussion of the task roster for the coming week.  Thomas and Syl, who it turned out had also been a footman before the war, were assigned to tidying the smoking room and library.  (Theo said he would “show them the ropes,” but Thomas quite agreed with his earlier assessment of the difficulty of the assignment.)  

Following that was a short homily on the theme of Respecting Others in the Common Areas—Thomas could hear the capital letters—which mostly had to do with not leaving one’s things lying about, and the smoking room and large parlour being the approved locations for “lively activity,” while the library and small parlour were reserved for quiet pastimes.  

The final item of business was a series of notices about what Father Timothy termed “community events.” He and someone called Mr. Bracewood were leading a nature walk on Saturday afternoon, the amateur dramatics group were doing a concert in a few nights’ time, and so on—the sort of wholesome claptrap they made you do at rest camps during the war.   The meeting concluded with a hymn—no hand-holding this time, fortunately—and about half of the group hurried off to their day’s work, while those who had nothing in particular to do next stood around chatting in small groups.

“Call me Syl” dragged Theo over to the priest to find out more about the amateur dramatics—he was, apparently, a chanteuse—leaving Thomas to stand awkwardly by the door and wait for something to happen.

He wasn’t left waiting long. “You’re looking a bit less grim,” said Richard, from last night, approaching with a lugubrious-looking fellow who was trailed by a dingy heap of rags that Thomas eventually concluded was a dog of some sort.  

Thomas nodded, unsure what to say.  

“This is Morrow—Ben Morrow—and Wilberforce,” Richard went on.

The probable-dog raised his head from his paws at the mention of his name.  

“Barrow,” Thomas said, even though the entire assemblage had been told his name not a half-hour earlier.

Morrow made a vague sound of acknowledgement.  

“So, ah,” Richard said, “what are your plans for the day?”

Plans?  “I’m supposed to see Dr. L. at eleven,” Thomas said.  “And I suppose I’m tidying the library and smoking room at some point. Apart from that, I don’t know.”

Richard seemed about to say something, but Morrow jumped in.  “He’ll probably make you go to Group,” he said grimly.

Again, Thomas heard the capital letter.  He wondered if Group was anything like Treatment.  

“He probably will,” Richard agreed, adding, “It’s not too bad.  You just sit around and talk about your neuroses for an hour.”

Thinking that he just might prefer a Clinic Treatment over that—though it would be a tough call—Thomas shared a look of mutual understanding with Morrow.  “What if you haven’t got any neuroses?” he asked, momentarily forgetting that they all had at least one, in common.

But Richard said, “Then you don’t have to go to Group.  Well, except Newcomers’ Group.  Everybody has to do that one.”  Before Thomas could angle for more details about Newcomers’ Group, he went on, “Apart from Group, there isn’t a whole lot of psychiatry that goes on, here.  You have a chat with Dr. L. once in a while, so he can see how you’re getting on, but really, it’s a lot like being in a rest camp, back in the Army.  Except they don’t make you carry ammunition up to the Front.”

Covering his surprise at hearing his own thoughts echoed, Thomas said, “But do they make you play football?”

Richard chuckled.  “There’s football, but it isn’t mandatory.  Not a sportsman, are you?”

“I’m all right at cricket,” Thomas answered.  

“That’ll make you popular,” Richard noted.  “The cricket crowd’s always looking for more players.  But none of the leisure activities are mandatory.”

“So they say,” Morrow muttered darkly.

Richard turned his eyes heavenward.  “If you won’t do anything, Dr. L. gets shirty about ‘taking part in the spirit of the community.’  But as long as you aren’t a grump who hates everything, you should be fine.”

Morrow said, “I don’t hate Wilberforce,” and Thomas privately resolved to find out exactly how much “taking part” you had to do in order to be left in peace.  

About then, Theo and Call-me-Syl collected him, and Theo showed them around the grounds a bit—vegetable patch here, chickens there, and so on.   Thomas didn’t really take in much of it, though, because he wasn’t at all interested in vegetables and chickens.

And maybe just a little bit because, with each bit of agriculture Theo pointed out, Thomas’s appointment with Dr. L. was drawing nearer.  

It would be crucial, he knew, to tell the man in charge what he wanted to hear—but what, in God’s name, was that?  If only Thomas had been able to pay more attention yesterday, when Dr. L. had been talking to Syl, he’d at least have some idea what kind of questions to expect.

Theo probably knew—hell, even Syl could fill him in to some degree—but Thomas couldn’t think of a way to get them on the subject, short of coming right out and asking.  So he just followed the others around, attempting to feign interest in cows and things, until the appointed hour came.  

The doctor’s lair was, at least, reassuringly carpeted—not at all the sort of thing you’d want people being sick on.  (He couldn’t think of a reason Richard would have misled him about them doing Treatments here, but he couldn’t rule it out.)  

Dr. L. sat behind a large desk, and there was an analyst’s couch against one wall, just like in the comic papers, but to Thomas’s relief, he was gestured into an armchair opposite the desk, instead.  

“Feeling better?” Dr. L. asked.

That was an easy one, at least.  “Yes, sir.”

“Good, good.”  He opened a document folder on the desk. “Let’s see, the Clinic did the usual course of treatment with you—perfunctory attempt at talk therapy…doesn’t look like you gave them much?”

Of course he bloody well hadn’t.  “Sir.”

“Hypnosis—you were a difficult subject there, as well, and then a rather protracted course of aversion therapy.”

With a manful effort, Thomas managed to repress a shudder.  “Yes, sir.”

“What did you think of it?”

What he thought, when he hadn’t been heaving his guts out, was that the pornography they showed you was filthier and more lurid than anything Thomas had even imagined existed. The French postcard with the girl and the donkey had nothing on it.  “Sir?”

Dr. L. raised an eyebrow. “Did you feel as though it was doing you any good?”

How the hell was he meant to answer that?  “Well,” he said slowly.  Following it up with a “sir”—always a safe bet—bought him another fraction of a second to think.  “It certainly wasn’t pleasant.”  It wasn’t meant to be, so that should be safe, too.  “And it didn’t work, so….”  He trailed off.  

Thomas thought this a fairly neat piece of diplomacy, under the circumstances, but Dr. L. didn’t looked impressed.  “Let me put it another way,” he said.  “Before The Clinic, did you feel that you were ill?”

Why would he ask a thing like that?  “I knew I wasn’t like everyone else, if that’s what you mean.”  It came out more sharply than he intended.  “Sir.”  

“Of course,” said Dr. L. “But did it—this is difficult to express.  Did you truly feel that there was something wrong with you?  That these…behaviors were unnatural?”

For an instant, Thomas was back in Carson’s pantry, before the hell that was The Clinic, saying, I’m not the same as you, but I’m not foul. He knew what he was meant to say, and if he’d been drugged up to his eyeballs and so sick he couldn’t stand upright, he’d have said it.  But now, in this peaceful room, after nearly 24 hours in which nothing abjectly awful had happened…he got as far as forming the lie in his mind—yes, of course, sir, dreadful affliction, and it would have all been worth it if only they’d been able to fix me—but he couldn’t force it out.  

A long silence stretched, Dr. L. regarding him with a pleasantly expectant expression.  

Thomas remembered striking his lighter and holding his hand up above the parapet.  His hand ached.  “No,” he said flatly.  “Sir.  I can’t really say as I do.”

Then he waited for hell to break loose—and nearly jumped out of his skin when Dr. L. leaned forward, smacking the desk with the flat of his hand.  “Precisely.”  Settling back in his chair and taking out a pipe, the doctor continued, “You see, in some cases—perhaps the majority of those that come to the attention of the police—homosexuality is an acquired vice.  Men—often those in whom the sex impulse is unusually strong—turn to it in the absence of women, or out of a desire for novelty, or simply because the opportunity presents itself.  If the act is successful, the man naturally becomes more willing to try it again—the principle being essentially the same as that behind the aversion treatment, except that the stimulus of the male body is connected with the pleasurable sensation of climax—and it can eventually become an engrained habit, and even overtake the normal sexual impulse.  Do you understand?”

That blokes messed about with other blokes because it felt good?  “I believe so, sir.”

“That type of case—pseudo-homosexuality—is very treatable.  Sometimes even resolves on its own, if before it’s become too engrained, the man returns to mixed-sex society, or has a narrow escape from the police, say, and is shocked into reconsidering his behavior.  But I knew as soon as I read your case notes that you weren’t one of those.”

What was that supposed to mean?  “Sir?”

“The pseudo-homosexual’s interest in other men is nearly always carnal in emphasis.  Simple lust.  They don’t romanticize it.  But you—”  He picked up the file, with the hand that wasn’t holding the pipe.  “You kissed your footman because, you told The Clinic doctors, you were leaving your place of employment and wanted him to know how you felt?”

Damn it.  Thomas had said that, back at the very beginning. “Yes, sir.”  

“And because this lady’s maid—his aunt?—said that he reciprocated your affections.”

“She was the other footman’s aunt,” Thomas said.  Not that it was at all important.  “Sir.”

Dr. L. made a note on the file.  “This emphasis on feeling, in your account, is what tells the tale.  You see, in the genuine homosexual, the entirety of the sexual impulse, both the physical and the emotional, is directed toward the same sex.  He desires not just physical release, but psychic communion with another man.”  

The funny thing was, Dr. L. didn’t sound as though he was speaking of something loathsome, at all. Thomas nodded, and the doctor went on.

“And in nearly every case, a close analysis of the individual’s history reveals that the sexual impulse has been directed in this way since before pubescence—that is to say, before any experiences which could have perverted the impulse into this direction. That being the case, any treatment which has its basis in re-directing the sexual impulse back into its natural channel will be ineffective—because for him, the homosexual impulse is natural.”

What.  “Sir,” Thomas said, doubtfully.

“Yes?”

Quickly reviewing what the doctor had said, Thomas found a question he could reasonably ask.  “You said that, ah, it—I—can’t be cured through…the way they tried at The Clinic.  Is there some other way, then?”  He wasn’t sure whether he hoped there was or wasn’t.  It probably wouldn’t work either, anyway.

“There is a treatment,” Dr. L. said.  “Not a cure. A born homosexual, like yourself, cannot be cured, any more than a Negro can be cured of his skin color, because it isn’t a pathology, but rather an innate part of his organism.”  

Thomas wasn’t entirely sure he liked being compared to a Negro—but he supposed the Negro might find the comparison even more offensive.  

“An abnormal part, to be sure,” the doctor continued.  “Like colour-blindness, it’s a disadvantage, but one that is exacerbated by its rarity. The colour-blind man struggles with traffic signal-lights, and coloured advertisements where the text appears to him to be the same shade as the ground.  Much of art is inaccessible to him, and clothing and wallpaper that appear pleasant to him may be ugly to the rest of the world, and vice-versa.  But if half the world were colour-blind, signal-lights and advertisements would be designed so that both halves could read them, and the colour-blind man would find art that reflects the way he sees the world, and clothing and wallpaper that is intended for him.”  He paused.  “Incidentally, you aren’t colour-blind, are you?”

“No, sir,” Thomas said.

“It doesn’t seem to be any more common among homosexuals than anyone else.  Left-handedness might be.”  He made another note, presumably of the fact that Thomas was not colour-blind. “The case of the homosexual is even worse than that of the colour-blind man, because society is not merely indifferent to his needs, but actively persecutes him.  He is denied any respectable outlet for his natural impulses, and his seeking a dis-respectable outlet makes him a danger to the public health, because he encourages the pseudo-homosexual in his vices.  And often receives little satisfaction himself, in the encounter, because of the absence of the psychic element.”  

Thomas thought of Phillip Crowborough, burning his love letters and then suggesting Thomas stay for a tumble.  

The doctor puffed at his pipe and, finding it had gone out, re-lit it.  “Does that, ah, sound like something you’ve experienced?”

A direct question, he more-or-less had to answer it.  “Yes. Sir.”  

“Ah.”  The pipe successfully lit, he puffed for a moment. “I thought you might have.”  He did not, thank God, demand details.   “Have you any questions, at this point?”

Thomas did have one, and after a moment’s consideration, decided to ask it.  “The treatment, sir?”  He really did want to know what he was in for.  

“The treatment, yes. I was getting to it.  The goal of our treatment method is not to change your nature, but to enable you to live with it.  In this way, the born homosexual can live a life as healthy and as satisfying as anyone else’s.”

So it was the cold baths and wheat-bran cure, then.  That explained the cricket.   Well, it was probably an improvement over the more lurid scenario Thomas had thought of that morning, and definitely an improvement over The Clinic.  He was used to long stretches of celibacy, and with Treatments still fresh in his mind, he didn’t particularly want to even look at a cock any time soon.

Thomas assumed an expression of slightly confused interest, and, as he had hoped, the doctor went on.

“There is, often, some degree of neuroticism—either innate, or acquired through the stresses of living in a world that does not welcome him.  Or, lately, from the War.  And the experience of The Clinic doesn’t help, either.  For these difficulties, we prescribe the same treatments as for anyone else—sound nutrition, healthy exercise, fresh air, productive work that is suited as possible to the man’s nature, and a bit of talk therapy.”  With a glance at the analyst’s couch, which Thomas had been studiously avoiding looking at, he added, “Formal psychoanalysis is reserved for the most serious cases.  Most of the men are seen in groups, led by myself or my assistant, which, in addition to being more efficient, provides an element of mutual support.   There are several groups, for different needs, but you’ll start off in Newcomer’s Group, which focuses on understanding and accepting your condition, developing self-restraint and self-respect, and adjusting to our community.”  

That didn’t sound too dire—and once he’d had a chance to think a bit about everything Dr. L. had told him, he’d likely be able to figure out what sort of stuff they wanted to hear.  If he played his cards right, he might be able to avoid any of the other Groups.

“And that community is, of course, an important part of the treatment as well.  Many of our residents have struggled with…expressing themselves, forming friendships, because their nature is at odds with the expectations of the larger world, and because of the strain of keeping a shameful and dangerous secret.  But here, you are, in effect, normal.”

From his expression, Thomas could tell that Dr. L. expected some reaction to this bit of news, but he couldn’t figure out what.  He settled on, “I see, sir.”

“Do you?”  The doctor sounded skeptical.  “In many ways, we’re a village like any other.  We have people from all walks of life, sport and entertainments such as you might find anywhere in Britain, a church and a pub…just with one rather significant difference.”

He paused for effect, and Thomas blurted out, “Wait, do you mean the whole village is—”  Hearing himself, he promptly shut up.

“Yes.  Well, except for Mrs. Williams who runs the laundry. She worked for both of this place’s previous incarnations, and when I explained to her the nature of what I meant to do here, she said that at least what we have isn’t catching, and that she’d been born here, and we’d have to carry her off feet first.  She’s a bit of a character,” he added, with a smile. “But everyone else, yes.”

“I see, sir.”  Well, that was interesting.  

Dr. L. regarded him with a pleasantly expectant expression for a moment, then went on, “In addition to the unique environment, we also approach the issue of homosexuality or sexual inversion in a different way to most other, ah, experts in the topic. Rather than reducing it to a series of base urges, we identify and cultivate the higher, spiritual side, much as the larger world encourages heterosexual—that is, normal—men to do with their sex impulses.”  

Another expectant look, this time more pointed.  “Sir?” Thomas asked.

“From an early age, the heterosexual learns, from the example of the men around him, how the sex impulse is to be managed—as, indeed, does the woman, although she is more often encouraged to deny or repress her sex impulse.  In adolescence, the sex impulse is best directed into other pursuits—success in school, or on the playing field, in friendship—adolescent friendship in both sexes often has a romantic character—into hobbies, and so on. Some continue this process of sublimation into a celibate adulthood; indeed, a great deal of artistic and intellectual achievement can be attributed to homosexuals who have more-or-less successfully sublimated their sex instinct.”

And that explained the amateur theatricals, as well.  Well, if the good doctor thought that giving Thomas enough to do would stop him wanting to have it off with other blokes, he wasn’t going to argue—it couldn’t hurt, and might help.  He nodded understanding.

“But more usually, in adulthood, the normal sex impulse is integrated into everyday life, through the ideals of marital fidelity and commitment.  The carnal element is tamed, as it were, by entwining it with the higher element, and channeling it into a form which emphasizes affection, mutual cherishing, and a shared life, while maintaining the carnal as a small but important part that supports the rest.”

Thomas blinked.  He couldn’t possibly be saying what Thomas thought he was saying.

“In short, while we encourage our residents to consider the merits of a celibate life, we say, as Saint Paul said to the Corinthians, that is it better to marry than to burn.”  

That was what he was saying. Unless there was another hotel full of Sapphic women on the other side of the island, and he’d been lying about not wanting to change Thomas’s nature.  “Sir,” he said, skeptically.

“These are not, I stress, mock marriages like those carried out in the molly houses of the last century,” Dr. L. added.  “They are, of course, not recognized outside of our community, but within it, they have the full force of custom, if not of law.  Promiscuity is no more acceptable here than it is in the larger world. Couples wishing to embark upon a conjugal life are counseled, together and separately, to be sure that neither is making a hasty choice, and then they make a public expression of commitment—usually in church—and from then on, enjoy the privacy and privileges of an ordinary married couple.”

No hotel full of women, then.  Thomas wished ardently for an opportunity to absorb this information—and to figure out the catch—without an audience, but it was not to be.  Dr. L. watched him patiently for a long moment, and finally Thomas nodded.  

Bestowing a kindly smile on him, the doctor said, “It is quite a lot to take in.  That’s why we pay so much attention to newcomers’ adjustment to the community—why we have Newcomer’s Group, why you begin by living communally in the main house, and takes part in daily meetings, and so on. There is, you may have noticed, a certain element of surveillance, which is gradually decreased as you make your adjustment.  We don’t want the place turning into a den of vice.”

“Of course, sir,” said Thomas, politely and automatically.  He could see how that would be a problem.

“You are welcome, and indeed encouraged, to associate with whomever you wish, but while you are in Newcomer’s Group, we use a sort of chaperonage system.  You may participate freely in organized activities, accept any invitations from respectable and well-established members of the community, and use the common areas in and around the main house.  If you wish to go into the village, or to explore the rest of the island, you’ll need to consult with Theo about your plans, and go either alone or in a party of three or more.   It’s a bit of an inconvenience, I know,” he added apologetically.

“It’s—fine, sir.”  Until he ran out of cigarettes, he had no particular reason to go to the village, anyway.  And Theo seemed reasonable enough.  

“Newcomers always live in the main house, and those without private means usually work there, as well. That is, everyone who lives in the main house is expected to pitch in—I believe you were already given an assignment at Morning Meeting?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good.  We have everyone take part, whether they’ve means or not, as a way of fostering a sense of community, but there’s paid work for those who want it, once you’ve settled in a bit.”

That was good to know—after he ran out of cigarettes, Thomas’s next problem would be running out of money to buy more.   He did wonder, however, where Theo’s suggestion that he might valet the nice Lord Gerald came in.  

There was another long pause and expectant look, and finally the doctor said, “Have you any questions?”

“No, sir.”

“Very well.  Once you’ve finished with Newcomer’s Group, you’ll be able to come and go as you please, but we still encourage going out in parties of three or more—especially if you intend to go somewhere out of public view. At that point, you’re also permitted to make your own living arrangements if you wish, but those without private means usually stay in the main house.”

Dr. L. looked at him expectantly again, and this time Thomas came up with a question.  “How long does the, ah, Newcomer’s Group last?”

“It varies, depending on your progress.  If you make a good adjustment, two or three months, but some men are in Newcomer’s Group considerably longer.”  

So that was how they got you to play along with what they wanted.  Fair enough, Thomas supposed.  

“Is there anything else that you’d like to ask me?”

Like what?  “Sir?”

The smile was slightly strained this time.  “How does all this sound to you?”

Well, since he was asking, it sounded barking mad.  Not bad, but absolutely bonkers.  “Fine.  Sir.”

Dr. L. sat back and did some more fiddling with his pipe.  “Very well.  Let’s talk again next week, all right?”

Thomas wondered what would happen if he said “no.”  “Yes, sir.”

***

That’s all, folks!  I am super-interested in hearing what people think, and if you wish to materially encourage this nonsense, you can do that here. 

[atinytokki]

𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

Chapter 5: Return to the Maze

Usually Jongho would be suspicious of such consistent good weather, but for now he was simply grateful that the sea goddess had blessed their journey with clear skies and fair winds.

They were moving much faster than they had been last time they visited Maddox’s Island, despite travelling in a very roundabout way, and they had a rescue plan in place. Knowing the territory better the second time had its advantages.

When the sails were squared away and the crew could relax some, Jongho found himself in the captain’s cabin once again.

It had become the regular location for all their gatherings the past few weeks, something about occupying the space lending them confidence in their decisions.

Unsurprisingly, Mingi, Yunho, and Seonghwa were already there. Mingi and Yunho were in a quiet conversation off to the side, sorting through the remaining stacks of gleaming treasure, while Seonghwa sat on his bed reading something.

Naturally, Jongho was curious, and moved to peek over the eldest’s shoulder to catch a glimpse of what it was.

“This is Hongjoong’s...” he realised with a frown, combing over handwritten text that detailed their adventures from the birth of the ATEEZ onwards.

At the mention of Hongjoong’s name, Mingi and Yunho perked up and moved closer, pushing the gold aside. “That was his mother’s diary,” Mingi remarked in a quiet voice when he recognised the book from an encounter years ago, reaching forward and flipping back to the beginning. A wave of nostalgia broke over the group. “He just continued it with his own story.”

Seonghwa nodded and went back to the section he was reading. Events that had taken place before he joined them.

“Did he say anything about me?” Mingi said a moment later, clearing his throat nervously.

“Just that you’re loyal and attentive, and sometimes he thinks back to those days when it was just the two of you on the beach and realises those were the happiest moments of his childhood,” Seonghwa answered, reading off a page from over a year ago.

“Is there any mention of me in there?” Jongho asked quietly, masking his nerves by clearing his throat. He didn’t know what he was expecting to hear, but he hoped it was pleasant.

Seonghwa smiled softly and flipped until he found the passage of Jongho’s entry into the story.

“At first, I thought he was older than me,” he read in a soft voice. “Not from his looks or his manner, but his eyes. They’re the eyes of someone who has seen horrible things, and as soon as I saw them I wanted him to join us. I want to see light in those eyes, not just darkness.”

Tears gathered and Jongho slowly sat down and let the words wash over him. Some of that darkness lingered, and it felt like failure.

“See, he’s always loved you,” Seonghwa reassured the younger boy, who shook his head and chuckled in disbelief.

“Well, he met me in the middle of a nightmare, of course he took me in, I prophesied it...”

“But he didn’t bring you onboard because he thought you were useful,” Mingi interrupted firmly. “He did it because he thought you belonged here.”

Jongho pulled his knees up to his chest. It was chilling to think about, but from this side of the event, that sudden decision had been the right one. 

“What was his first impression of me?” Yunho piped up. Seonghwa was already turning to the pages that chronicled their introduction and began to read without hesitation.

“Mingi says I’m ‘collecting’ people, but I prefer to think of it as taking a chance on a likeminded individual. Perhaps the ATEEZ is Yunho’s second chance at life, the way it’s also become mine.”

A beat passed in agreement as they considered how true it was for all of them. Mingi nudged Yunho as if to remind him what he had said himself on the beach not long ago. Everything happens for a reason. 

“How about you, did he have much to say?” Mingi smirked, turning to Seonghwa and already anticipating pages of lengthy prose.

Seonghwa rolled his eyes fondly and shook his head.

“Oh, something about me being a thorn in his side, and plenty of other things from back then that he said to my face besides. Not much flattery, at least not until we reached an understanding. ‘I’ve never tasted fish seasoned so well in my life, a significant feat to have accomplished’.”

Together, they laughed at what Hongjoong appeared to consider high praise.

“He worried about me a lot,” Seonghwa frowned, sobering as he thumbed the pages. “I suppose I have been injured frequently, and I’m not one for combat. Even in such a private book, he shares his true thoughts very sparingly. But there is a passage in here that I think he’d want us to read— all of us, together. It feels like a message from beyond the grave. He wrote it that day we spent on the treasure island from what I can discern.”

The three of them pressed closer to look over Seonghwa’s shoulder, even as he read in a soft voice the words that were written in secret.

I’m ashamed to record it, but I must have done something to make Seonghwa convinced I want him gone. I’ll admit, I’ve kept my distance and concealed my thoughts on the subject, but I don’t know what I’ll do if he leaves me alone. I’ve come to realise in this safe haven, far away from the ghosts and shadows that lurked at every corner, that I need him.

I broke my most important rule, to never fully trust anyone, because even the most unlikely can betray you. He decided to try and patch up the hole in my heart and without even knowing it, I’ve started depending on people again.

A feeling wells up inside when I see the faces of those who have become so much more than friends to me. No matter how hard I fight it down, it’s there consuming me until I admit the truth behind why I fight every fight that comes my way when I’m so, so tired of trying.

They’re my family. I love them so much, it hurts, and if I could hold onto all seven of them forever, I would do it. There’s no guarantee we’ll ever be whole again when we set out from this place, and I should never have invested so much of myself in them, but I was defenceless and if I have to have one weakness— let it be this group of brightly shining stars who guide me to better places, even as they think I’m the one guiding them. Let it be this twinkling treasure I’ve found, the value of which can never be compared with all the riches in the world. 

They’re everything to me. Until all our debts are settled, they’ll never know, but one day I’ll have the courage to tell them.

When I’m with you, I’m home. 

The silence after was almost reverent. Like they’d been communicating with the dead, the group dare not breathe for fear of disturbing the moment.

“We knew,” Yunho finally whispered, voice thick with emotion. “We knew without being told.”

Jongho glanced over at him and slung an arm around his waist, pulling him further in to their warm little huddle.

“Hey,” he chuckled wetly. “Now he has told us.”

The contemplative silence was broken by a knock on the door and Yujin’s appearing head.

“What is it?” Mingi demanded, quickly wiping his eyes and returning to his cool professionalism.

Yujin tensed and tilted his head toward the window. A familiar island shrouded in mist had grown closer while they were distracted with the past. It was time to move on.

“We’re here.”

... 

Establishing an exercise regimen after a serious injury was always difficult, but doing so in secret in the cramped belly of a navy warship was much more difficult, Hongjoong found.

There were moments here and there on their voyage southeast to respond to enemy ship sightings that the lucky prisoner wasn’t guarded in the business and activity of the day, which he used to his full advantage.

It was always better to trick the opponent into thinking he had him down for longer than he actually was.

Gingerly, Hongjoong lowered himself down from where he’d been hanging from a ceiling support beam and pulling his weight up and down for as long as he could, smiling at his own perfect timing and then wiping the expression clean before the steward entered with the morning meal. 

He wasn’t in the shape he wanted to be in yet, but he felt marginally less useless this way.

“Chowder again?” Hongjoong beamed teasingly and sat up straight as Doh scooped up some of the soup and waited for the prisoner to open his mouth again.

“No complaining,” the steward muttered as he spooned the food in carefully. “You’re worse than the men. I told them and now I’m telling you; we’re at sea now, with no idea how long the food will have to last. No more delicacies until landfall.” His chastising sounded like Seonghwa’s, and suddenly Hongjoong needed to change the subject again.

“Let me do it,” he insisted with his mouth still full, swallowing and repeating himself until the steward relinquished the spoon. 

Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t manage to get the slop onto the spoon and the spoon up to his mouth without help, and immediately his mood was soured.

“Don’t be upset,” the man scolded him softly when tears gathered. “You’re healing still.”

The reality was that exerting himself immediately before the meal was certainly not helping him control his own limbs and his own exasperation was making him quit before he should have. 

“Steward.” Hongjoong gave him a look and sat back. “I managed to sail alone over five thousand nautical miles in a boat I built with my bare hands, whilst wounded and starving, as an eighteen year old, and came back stronger. Forgive me for being frustrated if I can’t lift a spoon without my hands shaking.”

Doh gave him a once over before placing the bowl to the side and offering his advice.

“If that’s the case, you may want to consider whether your problem is physical or psychological.”

Hongjoong scoffed, but the creeping suspicion in the back of his head was inclined to agree. “What, are you saying I don’t want to get better?”

“I’m saying I think you’re scared,” the steward explained after a hesitant pause. “Of what might happen when you do.”

It had been months since he’d seen a friendly face. More importantly, since any of his friends had seen him alive.

Assuming he escaped the Crow, what then? Assuming he miraculously found the ATEEZ, what would he do next?

Would things just go back to normal?

No, they thought he was gone— they thought he was dead. Things would never just go back to normal.

Presumably, they had moved on... without him.

Silent for the remainder of the meal, Hongjoong let the steward feed him and thought about what kind of changes that Park mentioned might have taken place.

Surely nothing too drastic... nothing that would cost him his friends...

If Seonghwa was alright, he must be looking out for the others. That much, Hongjoong could be sure of. 

The steward, too, was quiet as he gathered his things and made to leave. Hongjoong stopped him just before he reached the door.

“Why are you helping me?”

This wasn’t the first time Hongjoong had needed to charm the pants off someone to get away with his plans, but despite the steward’s kindness, he was clearly a shrewd man who knew much more than he let on.

“The Admiral will need you in good shape,” he answered readily, but there was something in his eyes that told Hongjoong he had him exactly where he wanted him. Time to start making his move.

“Can you do me a favour, Steward?”

Doh cocked his head but his face didn’t change. He was open to suggestion.

“Perhaps.”

“Keep the surgeon away from me,” Hongjoong nearly whispered. If the surgeon came back intending to conduct experiments on him, he’d very quickly lose any surprise fitness and it would be back to square one.

The steward narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

“He... makes me uncomfortable.” 

That much was both believable and true. And so the steward bowed his head in agreement and left the room, and Hongjoong was left to lay back and exhale slowly.

He had gained an ally.

When the steward reached the quarterdeck, bundled against the winter winds bearing down on them, Admiral Kim was waiting for a report from him.

“Can he walk?”

Doh paused to decide how much to tell his captain, then smoothly delivered a half-truth.

“With help.”

“Bring him to the quarterdeck,” Kim ordered, eyes cast on the horizon with a sickening air of immense confidence. “I want to see what he’s worth.”

...

Like an ocean wave crashing into the shore, Wooyoung threw himself into Yeosang’s arms.

Not until he was assured that he wasn’t dreaming did he withdraw from the embrace. “How are you here?”

“I was assigned as navigator,” Yeosang explained, laughing in amazement. “The better question is how you ended up here. Weren’t you looking for San?”

All the air went out of Wooyoung and he hunched in on himself, the action cautioning Yeosang to tread lightly. “I was tracking him,” Wooyoung admitted quietly. “But I was pressganged onto this bucket of bolts with no way off in the foreseeable future—”

He was interrupted by Woosung clearing his throat. Having forgotten he was there, Wooyoung beckoned him over with a sigh for introductions.

“Yeosang, my brother Woosung.”

If Yeosang had been amazed earlier, he was astonished now. “The same brother you always talked about?”

“You talked about me?” Woosung teased with a wicked grin on his face for once. Wooyoung jabbed him in the ribs and nudged Yeosang into the wardroom so they could catch up in peace. 

“I’ve been meaning to escape,” he told him quickly. “So it’s a good thing we ran into each other when we did. Now we can work together.”

“Except for the fact that we don’t know where we’ll end up,” Yeosang pointed out as he sunk into a chair. “I’m not keen on running straight into enemy territory.”

“Unless San is there,” Wooyoung corrected him quickly.

“It’s still suicide,” Yeosang warned softly. “All I know for now is that we accompany the Crow from Panhang to intercept the Haemin fleet.”

“The Black Crow,” Wooyoung groaned as he was reminded, pulling up a chair opposite Yeosang. “What if the Admiral sees us? Don’t you think he’ll jump at the opportunity to kill us off? It shouldn’t be too difficult to frame as a casualty of war. I say we jump ship before we reach Panhang.”

“He won’t while my father is with him,” Yeosang insisted. “Father may hate me but he doesn’t want me dead, that would mean the end of his family name.”

Wooyoung thought back to the last night they’d seen one another, the lantern light bouncing off gentle waves in the harbour, the dark scowl on the Head Navigator’s face.

“How... how have things been between you?” He asked hesitantly, not expecting anything good.

“It’s over between us,” Yeosang scoffed. “I’m not speaking to him unless I have to.”

And hopefully, that day would never come.

“Wooyoung, I...” Yeosang began again after a companionable moment of silence. “I have bad news.” There was no point in putting it off.

His voice was witheringly soft, and he looked like the slightest noise could put him over the edge.

Under the table, Wooyoung’s legs began to shake. Not trusting his voice, he simply nodded for Yeosang to go on.

“I went to see Seonghwa’s coronation at the palace, and he told me about the execution. He told me, well... he heard that...”

“Hongjoong’s dead, isn’t he?”

Because if Wooyoung couldn’t say it out loud, he would never begin to accept it.

Yeosang simply exhaled shakily and inclined his head ever so slightly like the weight of the world was upon his shoulders. He didn’t want to accept it either.

Wooyoung knew he had pessimistic leanings due to his upbringing, but there had remained a spark of hope in him. When he considered how many people the information came to him through, or when he considered Hongjoong’s own confidence that he would make it out alive... it didn’t seem possible that he could live in a world where this was the truth.

He couldn’t live in a world without him.

The feeling that rushed in on receiving the confirmation of his worst fears, fears that he had pushed to the far corner of his mind to avoid dealing with, was a strange and disquieting mixture of pain, loss, and relief.

Relief that he could drop his head into his hands and shake with tears without being bothered for it. Relief that he was no longer waiting on bad news to catch up with him all while running away from it. Relief that he wouldn’t have to deliver such news himself.

“How could this happen...”

Such an undignified end after everything he’d survived already. Wooyoung wished he had been there.

“I don’t know,” came the hushed and helpless answer. “I can only hope Mingi, Yunho, Jongho, and San are safe and far away from this war like Hongjoong wanted them to be.”

Hongjoong had told them to save themselves, and they had ended up on a warship anyway.

Those agonising days in the prison at Namhae drifted back into memory while Wooyoung dried his eyes. 

The wind on the beams continued to blow while Yeosang settled down, gently taking Wooyoung’s hands in his and inspecting them. There was a cold emptiness inside now that the message had been relayed.

“You’ve healed,” he noticed aloud, voice soft yet discernable over the outside gusts. 

Wooyoung nodded and shifted to get a better look at his friend. “Have you?”

Yeosang startled and almost pulled away, but Wooyoung kept his grip on him. “I— yes, you know I did. Nothing was broken.”

Still he couldn’t escape Wooyoung’s knowing eyes. Not after everything they’d been through.

“I’ll be fine,” he insisted after a moment. That much he could promise, now that they’d found each other. 

...

The ever present fog made it difficult, but Yunho kept his eyes peeled for ships. Regardless of what colours they were flying, they were enemies, and that meant caution was of the utmost importance.

The plan was relayed to the men who waited, ready to cast off at a moment’s notice, and the four officers set out for the beach. The maze would be a hindrance to deal with, but it was better than docking at the town on the other side of the island and potentially being spotted by soldiers.

The shore batteries had been bombarded by Mingi’s counterattack on their last visit, which made them a perfectly unsuspecting vantage point to keep watch from.

Jongho scaled the stone steps of the bell tower, half of which was decimated, and borrowed Yunho’s spyglass. “I’ll put up a flag if I see anything,” he assured them. “No flares. Don’t want to give away our position.”

Although loath to leave him alone, it was best to finish the mission quickly, so the other three hurried down to the tree line and fought their way through the vines until they reached the entrance to the maze.

“Far right path,” Mingi instructed immediately, remembering how Hongjoong said he got in last year. The maze was only slight less well kept than it had been in Seonghwa and Yunho’s memory, occasional branches jutting out at awkward angles and bush roots stretching across their path. 

It sent a strangle tingle down their spines to return to such a memorable and significant place under wildly different circumstances.

The wrought iron gate was unlocked but closed when they reached it, and Seonghwa rested his hand on the bars before pushing gently and hoping it wouldn’t squeak. Eyes widening, Seonghwa suddenly threw his arm out and pressed back into the shrubbery. Yunho and Mingi followed, confused but obedient, until he explained.

“Soldiers in the courtyard.”

“Now what?” Yunho groaned. “We can’t risk gunfire if we don’t know how many are inside.”

“There should be a secret library somewhere on the third floor,” Mingi wracked his brain for a solution and took a step back to scan the building in front of them again. The top was just visible over the towering greenery.

“There!” He exclaimed, grabbing Seonghwa’s arm. “A sunroof. We can rappel down.”

Seonghwa sighed but nodded, watching intently and waiting for the soldiers to go back inside for dinner. 

It was only about ten minutes, but it felt like longer. Listening to their idle conversation was mildly amusing until the men dropped off into silence, but soon they had shut themselves into their hall and the courtyard was free.

“Here,” Yunho grunted, throwing the rope until it latched on to a ceiling tile and handing it to Mingi, who looked surprised. “You suggested it!” 

Begrudgingly, Mingi grasped the rope in his hands and began to climb, Yunho and Seonghwa following silently.

They had to mind the windows, but made it onto the roof safely, Mingi popping open the sunroof panel and securing the rope to the inner latch while he waited.

After a thorough scan of the inside, what appeared to be a bedroom, all three lowered themselves stealthily, only breaking face when a figure in the room startled and tipped over in his reading chair.

“Maddox? It’s alright, we’re friends of Hongjoong’s!” Mingi panted, holding out his hand. 

“Mingi?” The older man hissed in disbelief as he peeled out from behind the chair.

“Yes, it’s me. We’re here to rescue you.”

...

“It’s Lucky.”

“Look! There he goes.”

“The lucky prisoner...”

Hongjoong ignored the hushed whispers all over the main deck and the way the freezing wind nipped at his nose, but tilted back his head and let it toss his hair. It didn’t matter what they said.

Even a sea breeze that stung your cheeks was a sea breeze, and no one could take the moment away from him.

Byun was at his elbow, a guilty sort of tension emanating from him as he guided the prisoner up to the quarterdeck where Admiral Kim stood and looked down his nose at the both of them. A man Hongjoong assumed was Head Navigator Kang stood to his left. From his familiar features and general air of displeasure, he had a feeling he was correct.

“So I hear you need my help,” Hongjoong smirked, voice quiet but deadly.

Kim just scowled at him, white-rimmed lips pressed firmly together until he snatched the charts from Navigator Kang, rolling them open and casting his eyes away.

“Our spies report mass shipbuilding behind Haemin borders, but none of our fleet have encountered more than two ships at a time,” Kim explained, indicating the locations of the attacks on the map.

They were all lined up along the trade routes, concentrated to the east around the rim of the nearest Jaecho colonies.  

As Hongjoong moved to get a closer look, he enjoyed the way the Admiral visibly became irritated by the jangle of his chains.

He was no longer bolted to the floor but his arms were still restrained and as much as Kim was annoyed by the sound, he wasn’t stupid enough to unlock the cuffs and risk an escape attempt.

“Their strategy is to wear you out with unpredictable strikes along the islands,” Hongjoong surmised as he inspected the charts. “If one ship goes down, it’s replaced by another. They won’t form ranks like you, they’re much more... surreptitious.”

“Then why focus on the colonies? They made it all the way to the capital once, why not march in again?” Kim bit out, yanking the map back over to his side of the table. Kang gently collected it, as if afraid in his anger the Admiral might shred the thing.

“To spread you thin. To wear you out, starve you, frustrate you,” Hongjoong listed off. “Safe access to trade routes and supplies is vital— I should know!” After all, he was usually the person disrupting them.

“So you’re saying we should engage their puny boats in the east instead of strike their homeland and end the war in one fell swoop?” Kim challenged, stepping closer and waiting for the prisoner to back down.

He didn’t.

“Unless you want to lose your territory, yes.”

The two stared each other down and no one else dared move, not even the anxiously hovering Byun whose idea the entire encounter was, until a bird appeared on the horizon and landed atop the rigging, a case attached to its leg.

Lieutenant Park climbed up to retrieve it and handed it to the Navigator, ending the standoff.

“A messenger bird with correspondence. A convoy of Haemin ships has been sighted just south of the colonies,” Kang reported, passing the scroll to the Admiral. Not even glancing at Hongjoong, he began orders. 

“We have the heading, it’s time to move.”

There was a suppressed exhilaration that bubbled up inside Hongjoong when the Crow went underway.

It was that feeling he missed, when there’s one rope between you and the ocean— you and death.

He was joined by Park while he stood at the railing, reaching his chained hands down to feel what misty spray he could.

“What is it?” Hongjoong finally asked when the lieutenant had gone an uncharacteristic full five minutes without talking.

“I saw it in the correspondence...” he muttered nervously, eyes on the Admiral’s back to make sure he wasn’t paying attention. “Our enemies aren’t just interrupting trade and taking over island colonies.”

Hongjoong pulled back and looked at him, confused. Park was shaking his head helplessly but delivered the bad news nonetheless.

“They think Prince Seonghwa is with us, and they’re looking for him, to- to kill him.”

...

Due to the trust he had gained on the Haemin ship over the past few weeks, San almost felt sad to be leaving them soon.

Almost.

When land was only a few hours off, he concocted a sleeping draught with supplies from the infirmary and told his translator it was medicine for a patient. It was a strong enough brew to knock out his guards long enough for him to swim to shore.

Regardless of how he felt about his imprisonment, San wasn’t a monster. He ensured that all his patients were cared for in the meantime, working tirelessly to lower fevers, hack off limbs, and clean wounds. They would all survive in his absence, and he didn’t leave until he was sure of that fact.

Except for the loneliness, it almost felt like being home. Why he had ever considered leaving the ATEEZ back in the day was a mystery to him now. All that pain and regret from his previous trip to these parts had washed away long ago.

San didn’t know where along the road he’d lost his purpose, but he needed to return to the road to get it back, wherever it ended up taking him.

This cramped, stinking warship was not the right place.

He had hoped for so long that his mysterious pursuer was Wooyoung, and that Wooyoung would find him. And then he had gone too far, farther than he could follow. If he was lucky, perhaps Wooyoung hadn’t given up on him yet.

Sudden noise from the main deck prompted him and his translator to join the soldiers outside.

“Land,” the man told him redundantly as they watched the speck grow larger.

San knew it well.

It was Maddox’s Island.

...

Introductions were quick, and without even knowing why, Maddox was instructed to pack his things as quickly as possible.

“Why didn’t you just use the door?” He scoffed as he shoved some loose change into a bag. “Hongjoong has been here once, he should’ve showed you.”

Silence penetrated the room and slowly Maddox turned around, noting his absence.

“Where is he, then? Hongjoong?”

“Killed by Admiral Kim,” Seonghwa told him, solemn and ice cold in his delivery. “A few months ago.”

Maddox needed to sit down again.

“But he— he wasn’t...” he shook his head to collect his thoughts. “He was on his way to find Eden, Kim should never have gotten his hands on him.”

“Actually...” Yunho sighed. “We did find Eden. We were on our way back to the mainland because of Babylon, who I think you’ll remember.”

Maddox’s face darkened, even as his eyes betrayed his distress, like he didn’t know who to blame for this. “You came here for me?” He suddenly realised, brows raising halfway to his hairline in shock.

“It’s what he would have wanted,” Seonghwa explained. “We’re breaking out as many of his friends as we can find and starting fresh far away from the Navy.”

“Well, I certainly won’t keep you waiting,” the older pirate scoffed before collecting a few more of his things and glancing at the rope still hanging from the ceiling. “I suppose that’s also our way out.”

“The soldiers won’t spot us that way,” Mingi explained as Yunho and Seonghwa headed up, motioning for Maddox to follow and then bringing up the rear. With practiced ease, they descended the side of the tower and made their way across the courtyard.

“We make for your ship?” Maddox asked in a whisper.

Mingi nodded. “It would be ideal to get out of here without anyone even knowing.”

Just as he finished speaking, the boom of gunfire blasted to their right near Jongho’s position. Mingi grasped his gun and searched frantically for the decimated bell tower.

A red flag was hanging.

“So stupid,” he chided himself through gritted teeth. “How could I forget to check?”

Before anyone could stop him, he barrelled ahead and raced to the tower, hoping against hope that he would reach Jongho in time.

The disorienting fogginess of the maze slowed him down significantly, and by the time he reached the shore there was an unconscious Jongho, being dragged away by enemy soldiers.

“Hey!” Mingi screamed across the beach, aiming his weapon. “Let him go and I won’t kill you.”

The soldiers looked surprised to see him and debated with each other in a foreign language. Mingi realised with a jolt that they were from Haemin. He clicked off the safety but hesitated.

I should just shoot now.

Jongho had been dropped in the sand and Mingi’s hairs stood on end. Where were the others? Had they fallen so far behind?

He was out of time.

Suddenly, one of the soldiers drew his gun and fired.

Unable to move completely out of the way in time, Mingi dodged to his right even as the searing pain of a bullet grazing his face sent him to the ground.

Blood was pouring into his eye, so all he could see was red that wilted into consuming black and the flashes of pulsating with pain.

Through his remaining eye, he watched Jongho be rowed away onto an enemy ship while he was left for dead.

...

San expected to be sent to his battle station where he could drug whoever happened to be guarding him at the time and slip away in the chaos.

Instead, he was led down to the brig again with some of the other prisoners to watch through the portholes as a pair of men rowed out to investigate the island themselves.

What he gathered from the others was that their captain thought the island looked to be deserted or destroyed in some other battle and assumed no one would be there. 

A very foolish move, one San should’ve expected from the incompetent drunkard. In this world, it should always be shoot first, ask questions later.

For a good half hour nothing happened, until a red flag went up in one of the bell towers and the action began in earnest.

To San, it was a relief.

Easily, he overpowered the guard and forced the draught down his throat, collecting the supplies he’d lain out in the infirmary while everyone was distracted, and preparing to lower himself in one of the longboats while the returning spies rushed their new prisoner on board.

Something deep inside told San to turn his head before he pulleyed down, and so he did. In a lightning flash, his heart dropped.

The unconscious body was Jongho’s. San didn’t know how or why, but it was him.

He didn’t question for a moment whether to abandon his plan. San threw off his bag and ran towards the chained figure.

Escape would have to wait.

...

Taglist: @serendipityunho @celestial-yunho @atzjjongbby @89staytinyzen21

A/N: I’m very close to the finish line of the semester, so I’ll be back in my usual swing in the next week or so, no worries :) There’s some shifting going on this chapter, and a lot of action is about to go down next time hehehe so stay tuned and let me know what you thought!! Happy birthday Wooyoung and Happy Thanksgiving ;)

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[letterboxd]

Life Detained.

The Mauritanian director Kevin Macdonald talks with Jack Moulton about researching Guantanamo Bay’s top secrets, Tahar Rahim’s method-acting techniques, the ingenuity of humanity during the pandemic, and his favorite Scottish films.

“You’ve got to understand that for a Muslim man like Tahar, this role has a much greater significance than it does for you or me.” —Kevin Macdonald

It’s not uncommon for a director to release two films in one year, but Academy-Award winning—for his 1999 documentary One Day in September—director Kevin Macdonald is guilty of this achievement multiple times. Ten years ago, he released his first crowd-sourced documentary Life in a Day and the period epic The Eagle within months of each other. A decade on, he’s done it again.

The Scottish director (and grandson of legendary filmmaker Emeric Pressburger) released both his Life in a Day follow-up and the legal drama The Mauritanian this month. The latter tells the story of Guantanamo Bay detainee Mohamedou Ould Slahi (sometimes written as Salahi), who was held and tortured in the notorious US detention center for fourteen years without a charge. The film, adapted from Slahi’s 2015 memoir Guantánamo Diary, features Jodie Foster and Shailene Woodley as his defense attorneys Nancy Hollander and Teri Duncan, with Benedict Cumberbatch, who also signed on as the film’s producer, playing prosecutor Lt. Stuart Couch.

Benedict Cumberbatch as prosecutor Lt. Stuart Couch in ‘The Mauritanian’.

The Mauritanian also introduces French star Tahar Rahim to a global audience, in the role of Slahi. “The ensemble is excellent across the board,” writes Zach Gilbert, “while Tahar Rahim is best in show overall, bringing honorable heart and humanity to his role [of] the titular mistreated prisoner.”

Much of the story is filmed as an office-based legal thriller involving thick files, intense conversations, and Jodie Foster’s very bright lipstick. Macdonald expertly employs aspect ratio to signify narrative shifts into scenes recreating Slahi’s vivid recollections of torture and his achingly brief conversations with unseen fellow detainees.

Qualifying for this year’s awards season due to extended deadlines, The Mauritanian has already earned Golden Globe nominations for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actress for Rahim and Foster respectively. Slahi remains unable to travel due to no-fly lists, but he was a valuable resource to the production, providing an accurate and rare depiction of a sympathetic Muslim character in an American film.

It was the eve of Life in a Day 2020’s Sundance Film Festival premiere when we Zoomed with Macdonald. Behind him, we spied a full set of the Italian posters for Michelangelo Antonioni’s classic Blow-Up. As it turns out, he’s not a fan of the film—only the posters—so we got him talking about his desert-island top ten after a few questions about his new film.

The attention to detail on Guantanamo Bay in The Mauritanian is impressive. There are procedures depicted that you rarely see on-screen. How did you conduct your research? Obviously Guantanamo Bay is a place which the American government spends a great deal of effort keeping secret. It was important to Mohamedou and me that we depicted the reality of the procedures as accurately as we possibly could. That research came primarily from Mohamedou who has an incredible memory. He drew sketches and made videos of himself lying down in spaces and showing how he could stretch half his arm out [in his cell]. There are a lot of photographs on the internet of Guantanamo Bay which are [fake] and others are from a later period because the place developed a lot over the years since it started in 2002 and Mohamedou was able to [identify] which photos were rooms, courtyards and medical centers he had been in.

Director Kevin Macdonald on set with Jodie Foster.

How did you approach creating an honest representation of the graphic torture scenes, without putting the audience through it as well? Whenever films about this period are [made] they’re always from the point of view of the Americans and this time we’re with Mohamedou. You can’t underestimate the fact that there have really been no mainstream American cinematic portrayals of Muslims at all, so in portraying a sympathetic Muslim character who’s also accused of terrorism, you’re pushing some hot buttons with people. It was important that those people who are uncomfortable with him understand why he confessed to what he confessed.

Everything you see in the film is what happened; the only difference is that they weren’t wearing masks of cats and Shrek-like creatures, they wore Star Wars masks of Yoda and Luke Skywalker in this very perverse fucked-up version of American pop culture. Obviously, we couldn’t get the rights to those. Actually, I don’t feel that it is graphic. There is more violence in your average Marvel movie. It’s psychologically disturbing because you’re experiencing this disorientating lighting, the [heavy-metal] music, and he’s being told his mother’s going to be raped and he’s flashing back to his childhood. To be empathizing with this character and then to see them to be so cruelly treated is so deeply disturbing.

How did you prepare Tahar Rahim for his convincing portrayal of such intense pain and suffering? Tahar went through a great deal of discomfort in order to achieve it. He felt that to give a performance that had any chance of being truthful, he needed to experience a little bit of what Mohamedou had suffered, so throughout the movie he would insist on wearing real shackles which made his leg bleed and give him blisters. I would plead with him to put on rubber ones and he would say “no, I have to do this so I’m not just play-acting”.

He starved himself for about three weeks leading up to a torture sequence—he had lost an awful amount of weight and he was really unsteady on his legs. I was very worried about it and I got him nutritionists and doctors but he was determined to stick with that. You’ve got to understand that for a Muslim man like Tahar, this role has a much greater significance than it does for you or me. He felt a great weight of responsibility to do this correctly, not just for Mohamedou, but he was speaking for the whole Muslim world in a way.

Jodie Foster and Shailene Woodley as defense attorneys in ‘The Mauritanian’.

What compels you to study this period in time? Mohamedou was released a couple of weeks before Trump came to power in 2016, so the story is still ongoing for him. He’s still being harassed by the American government and he’s not allowed to travel because he’s on these no-fly lists. I didn’t want to make a movie that was saying “George W. Bush is terrible”. We’ve been there, we’ve done that. This is looking back with a little bit of distance and saying “here’s the principles that we can learn from when you sidestep the rule of law”—what it takes to stand up like Lt. Stuart Couch did when everyone else around you is going along with something that’s really terrible.

You see that around Trump with the choices within the Republican Party to stand up and say they’re going to sacrifice their careers to do the right thing. It is a hard thing when there’s this mass hysteria in the air. The basic principles that the lawyer [characters] are representing is not about analyzing and replaying what happened after 9/11, they’re directly related in a bigger way to the world we all inhabit.

Did anything surprise you in how your subjects for Life in a Day 2020 addressed the pandemic? One of the most affecting characters in the film is an American who lost his home and business because of the pandemic, so he’s living in his car. He seems very depressed when you meet him for the first time, then later he’s telling us there’s something that’s giving him joy in his life. He brings out all these drones with these cameras on them and puts on this VR headset and loses himself by flying through the trees. I thought that was such a great metaphor for the way that human ingenuity has enabled us to survive and thrive during the pandemic.

I get the feeling of resilience from [the film]. This is a more thoughtful film than the original one. I see this as a movie of [us] being beware of our susceptibility to disease and ultimately to death and mortality, [and] how we’ve found these consolations as human beings. To me, it’s a really profound thing. It also speaks to the main theme of the film which is how we’re all so similar, same as The Mauritanian. It’s confronting you with all these people and saying we fundamentally all share the basic things that underpin our lives and the differences between us are much less important than the things we have in common.

Let’s go from Life in a Day to your life in film. What’s a Scottish film that you love but you feel is very overlooked or underrated? That’s really hard because there aren’t many Scottish films and there aren’t many good ones. Gregory’s Girl is the greatest Scottish film ever made—it’s the bible for life for me. That’s very well-known, so I would have to say Bill Forsyth’s previous film That Sinking Feeling, which was self-funded and made on 16mm black-and-white. It has some of the same actors and characters as Gregory’s Girl in it. Or my grandfather Emeric Pressberger’s film I Know Where I’m Going! which is a rare romantic comedy set in Scotland.

John Gordon Sinclair and Dee Hepburn in Bill Forsyth’s ‘Gregory’s Girl’ (1980).

Which film made you want to become a filmmaker? I think it was Errol Morris’s The Thin Blue Line, which is one of the top five documentaries ever made and in my top ten desert-island movies.

What else is in your desert-island top ten? Oh god, don’t! I knew you were going to ask me that. I’ll give a few. I would say there would have to be something by Preston Sturges—maybe The Lady Eve or The Palm Beach Story. There would have to be a film written by my grandfather, so probably The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp, which is the best British film ever made. There would have to be Singin’ in the Rain, which is the most purely joyful film I’ve ever seen. There would probably be The Battle of Algiers, which I rewatched recently and was an inspiration on The Mauritanian. Citizen Kane I also rewatched in anticipation of watching Mank, of which I was very disappointed. I thought it completely missed the point and was kind of boring.

Which was the best film released in 2020 for you? I thought the Russian film Dear Comrades! was really stunning. It was made by a director [Andrei Konchalovsky] in his 80s who first worked with Andrei Tarkovsky back in the late 1950s. He co-scripted Ivan’s Childhood. I would love to make my masterpiece when I’m 86 too!

Related content

Films with Muslim characters

Movies that pass the Riz test

Scottish Cinema—a regularly updated list

Follow Jack on Letterboxd

‘The Mauritanian’ is in select US cinemas and virtual theaters now, and on SVOD from March 2. ‘Life in a Day 2020’ is available to stream free on YouTube, as is the original.

[bvidzsoo]

Shell

 Author: bvidzsoo

 Warnings: violence and swearing

 Pairing: Park Chanyeol x female reader

 Summary:  Mermaids and Pirates, in this story they are all true. Fairytales come to life when you least expect them, bringing you on amazing adventures. What you could have never even imagined became a nightmare as soon as you are kidnapped by some cursed pirates that perhaps aren’t as evil as myths make them out to be.

 A/N: Well damn, it’s been a long time since I have written something but motivation hasn’t been with me for a long time now. Maybe it’s the stress and the time I don’t have anymore, but quarantine made sure I have enough time now. This one shot has been sitting in my drafts for a long time now so I’m glad I finally finished it. This was a request btw and if the one who requested it sees it, I hope you enjoy it even though I made some changes! Happy reading now!

     Have you ever heard of mermaids? Do you believe in mermaids? What about pirates? Do you fear them? Well, you better do. Pirates are ruthless men who navigate on the seas and at night, when everyone is sleeping, they make a stop at shore towns and then...they robe the whole village, killing men and taking the women and children.

Even if these are just myths, people in the town I grew up still believe in them. And unfortunately, I do too. It’s not just the pirates, the creatures of the night and sea...they are real. I haven’t seen a mermaid yet, but when I was younger my grandfather, who was a sailor, would tell me stories about the big sea and its mermaids, sirens. Mermaids, who were kind and guided him...sirens, who were bloodthirsty creatures who guided him towards his death. One day, when I was ten years old, my grandfather didn’t come home. Some say it was the sirens who killed him, others say that the pirates attacked him and took him as a prisoner. But growing up as the daughter of the major, with a sailor grandfather, my hopes still rely on the fact that he found that much-desired chest of gold he always told me about and decided to settle on a quiet island, with his mermaid friends.

   Our town is called Shell, and it has two origins. Elders say that before humans lived in this place, this was the territory of all kinds of mermaids, their sanctuary. And those who still refuse to believe in ‘fairytales’, as they call it, say that the town got its name because of the influx of shells the sea brings to the shore. It is true, if you go on the Vest side of the beach, you risk of getting cut by the many shells that lay untouched on the sand. But that’s also one of the things we are famous for, rich people who wish for the finest jewelry or people who would like to gift something elegant to a significant other, travel to our town to buy these shells, handmade by the people of the town...that including me.

   The streets of the town were buzzing with people running up and down, getting ready for tonight’s summer festival, the Mermaid Night. It’s a celebration our town always holds on the third week of July, a way of showing their gratefulness to the mermaids that left this land behind for us. But truth be told, people are just happy that they can get drunk and holler around the streets without getting sanctioned and probably hook up with others.

I sighed as I stared out the window of the shop, the wind blowing gingerly my bangs away.

“Is something bothering you, Miss?” The rusty voice of the old lady resonated in the vacant shop, her fingers working fast as she braided the rope of the bracelet.

“My father” I answered with a sigh, staring at the people longingly “He said I’m not allowed to attend the festival this year--Have you heard anything more absurd than this?”

“Maybe he knows something you don’t” The old lady, Mrs. Han, muttered quietly.

“And what could that be?” I asked with a huff, closing the window and turning around to face Mrs. Han.

“The legend says…” Mrs. Han looked up, a glint in her eyes as she grinned “On every fifteenth year, there will be a white moon...and the white moon is the guide of the pirates, meaning it brings pirates. I’m sure the Major just wishes to protect you from any oncoming danger”

“But if pirates are coming, doesn’t that mean the whole village is in danger?” I asked quickly, standing up from my place and walking closer to her.

“The village is fine, dear. The people are getting older and older, we aren’t in danger but you and your friends--I can’t say the same” My eyebrows furrowed as I stared at Mrs. Han’s wrinkled face.

“Because we are young? Are we potential targets?” I raised my eyebrows, growing a little amused. Even if I believe in the myths, until I don’t see something I won’t truly believe it. Just like mermaids, maybe they left this land for us, but maybe they are already dead and we just try to carry on with their memories. What if pirates don’t exist anymore? Leeteuk and Donghae, friends from the Sun kingdom, last time they visited, they didn’t bring any bad news...in fact, I haven’t heard of pirates ever since my grandfather disappeared eight years ago.

“It’s a dangerous thing to play around like that, child. You should be careful, the Major didn’t say those to you to scare you off” Mrs. Han’s words were stern as she looked up and I just hummed quietly.

The door opened behind me and two voices I already know too well abruptly stopped talking.

“Y/N!” It was Sooyoung who called out first, her voice loud.

“Hello, Mrs. Han” The always respectful Joohyun bowed as I turned around and smiled at my friends.

“Hi” I waved a little before turning back towards Mrs. Han “Well, I will come and pick up the bracelets tomorrow, Heechul is quite impatient” I muttered, gathering the gown in my hand from the table as Mrs. Han just chuckled.

“Tell the boy I expect more silver from him this time, he might travel here from the Sun kingdom, but I work on these not him” I giggled and kissed Mrs. Han’s cheek before heading for the door with the girls.

“Of course, I’ll make sure myself he pays more” Mrs. Han just snorted before I closed the door, turning towards the girls.

“Why is she always so...cranky?” Sooyoung asked with a grimace, her red dress shorter than usual.

“She can hear you, you know” I rolled my eyes as Joohyun pushed Sooyoung to the front as we started to walk.

“She’s too old to hear us” Sooyoung snapped back as she fixed her eyes on me.

“She’s not” I huffed, crossing my arms in front of my chest, almost letting my white gown fall on the sandy street.

“That’s not important” Joohyun was quick to interfere “Tonight, however, is important. How are you dressing up?”

“Oh, my sister made a dress for me at least two weeks ago” Sooyoung shrugged as she pouted “I don’t really like it but she wants me to wear it, so I guess I have to”

“Your sister is the best tailor in the town, how can you not like it?” I asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“She has a different style compared to mine” Sooyoung shrugged, taking an apple from Yuta’s tavern, who was too busy grinning at Yeri, a girl that is three years younger than us. 

“You should pay for that” Joohyun was quick to narrow her eyes at Sooyoung who just chuckled and took a bite of the apple.

“When was Sooyoung ever fair?” I asked in a mocking whisper, making Sooyoung roll her eyes.

“It’s not my fault he was too busy flirting with Yerim” Sooyoung just shrugged, leaving Joohyun sighing.

“I’m not coming” I suddenly forced out the thought that has been bothering me all day.

“What?” Joohyun stopped walking, wide eyes directed at me.

“My father forbid me from doing so” I sighed loudly, watching the ground as I pushed the sand around with my feet.

“Why?” Sooyoung asked, her voice not as concerned as Joohyun’s was.

“Something about pirates and the fifteenth white moon” I just shrugged and Sooyoung hummed as her eyes surveyed the market.

“My mother told me about it too” Joohyun spoke up, placing a comforting hand on my arm “I’m not allowed to stay out later than midnight”

“Of course, can’t have a beautiful maiden like you disappearing” Joohyun stiffened at the masculine voice, her face suddenly turning blank. Sooyoung just chuckled as she took in the sight of Yunho. His hair was tousled, he probably just came back from fishing judging by the smell and bag he carried. His white shirt unbuttoned until you could see his tanned chest and trousers at the end slightly wet.

“What do you want?” Joohyun asked as she sent a glare towards him.

“I hope you didn’t forget about that dance” Yunho only winked at Joohyun.

“I told you, I am not dancing with you, Mr. Jung” Joohyun held her head high even if Yunho towered over the three of us.

“Irene, dear, why won’t you drop your attitude and--”

“It’s Joohyun, and why won’t you leave me alone already?” Joohyun hissed at Yunho who didn’t look that amused anymore.

“Where’s the fun in that?” He still chuckled, but a small glare was sent at my friend.

“I bet it won’t be too much fun when the Major hears about it, huh?” I raised my eyebrows, speaking before anyone else could. Yunho’s eyes snapped at me and Joohyun hissed, glaring at me. It’s known by everyone that Yunho doesn’t like me, he thinks I’m arrogant and hold power over everyone just because I’m the daughter of the Major. But those aren’t true, I’m only like that with people who are rude and won’t stop bothering me. So maybe Yunho is right, I do kinda act rudely towards him.

“Oh look, Miss Kwon found her voice, are you now running to daddy as well?” Yunho rolled his eyes as I just smiled, waving at him.

“I’m sure you know your way to the Major’s house. I’d like to thank you in advance for the delicious fish you brought for us” I winked at Yunho as I took Sooyoung and Joohyun’s arms, pulling them after me.

“You need to stop doing that!” Joohyun hissed as I felt dagger-like glares melting into the back of my head, no surprise, coming from Yunho.

“Why? It’s funny” Sooyoung snickered and Joohyun was quick to slap her back.

“Because it’s dangerous” Joohyun looked at me, pulling her arm free from my grip “You know Yunho is not a very good man”

“And you expect me to stay calm and not worry when he’s after you? Of course I know about his reputation, that’s why I always interfere” 

“He could hurt you”

“No, I’m the daughter of the Major and you are not, Miss Bae” I stared at Irene with concern, eyebrows turned into a frown.

“Okay, fine” She sighed, turning away from us.

“What did you do to him though, Miss Bae?” Sooyoung’s voice was mocking as she nudged my shoulder “Tell me your secret spells”

“Do not call me a witch, you know how people react to that, Sooyoung” Joohyun snapped, apparently her good mood gone thanks to Yunho.

“Come on, I was just joking” Sooyoung rolled her eyes offended “But I’m serious though”

“I didn’t do anything” Joohyun shrugged, her eyes lingering on a set of shell necklace. I eyed it too with a smile, I’ll buy it later for her.

“He’s just...Yunho. You know he can’t accept a no and I’m constantly giving him no’s, figures why he’s still after me” Joohyun shrugged and Sooyoung rolled her eyes while I chuckled.

“You say no to every boy” 

“Well…” Joohyun’s cheeks suddenly turned red and Sooyoung and I glanced at each other amused. Jaemin was standing in the doorway of the flower shop, waving with a big smile at Joohyun. She waved back, throwing us a glare when Sooyoung and I waved at Jaemin while giggling.

“Why are you like that?” Joohyun hissed as Sooyoung and I just continued to giggle.

“Yunho is going to be livid when he finds out about this” Sooyoung commented with an evil smirk and I mirrored her reaction.

“Oh, really?” Joohyun’s tone turned darker as she looked at us with the same smirk “I guess he won’t take it well when he hears Jaemin is my date for tonight”

“What!” Joohyun just giggled as she hurried away to her mother’s tavern, leaving Sooyoung and I with our mouths hanging open.

“This girl!” Sooyoung just sighed as I started giggling again.

“At least she knows how to get a man...unlike us”

“Speak for yourself” Sooyoung nudged me, eyes narrowed “I always get what I want”

“I almost forgot” I rolled my eyes as she just chuckled and pulled me after her, going to Mrs. Bae’s tavern.

   The lights were dim in the room as I rushed underneath the covers, pretending to read when I heard my father’s steps getting louder.

“Y/N?” He asked as he knocked on the door, his deep voice soft.

“Come in” I cleared my throat as I looked at the door.

“You are reading…” He trailed off, looking around the room “I thought you left”

“Left? How?” I asked with a chuckle and dad only shook his head, which was lowered due to his height so that he wouldn’t hit in the doorframe.

“I’m sure I don’t have to say more” He raised his eyebrows and I chuckled as I lowered my book and slightly turned towards him, making sure the blankets still covered my whole body.

“You know I usually listen to you” 

“Usually, that’s the problem” I chuckled and dad just sighed as he ran his fingers through his gelled back hair.

“I have to go now, you stay home, okay?” I just hummed as dad sighed again and turned around, closing the door behind him as he walked away. I grinned as I threw the blankets off my body, rushing to my mirror to clip my bangs to the side and place on red lipstick. I patted down my red dress, slipping on my sandals and taking the little jewelry box I quickly opened my window, glad that my room was on the first floor for the first time. Dad left a few minutes ago so it was safe for me to go too. 

I know I’m doing wrong by not listening to him but I can take care of myself and it’s not like some legend is actually true. I carefully climbed out the window and closed it back, my sandals sinking into the sand of the beach.

“Hey!” I quietly called out, looking towards the bushes on the left, “Joohyun, Sooyoung”

“Is it okay to come out?” Sooyoung hissed quietly and I giggled as I answered a ‘yes’.

“Finally” Joohyun sighed as she stepped out first, patting down her light blue dress, “I’m never hiding in the bushes again for you”

“Next time this happens, drinks are on you” Sooyoung threw me a glare and I just laughed, walking up to hug them. Sooyoung’s dress was absolutely pretty, the green contrasting her red hair nicely.

“Why were you complaining about your dress?” I huffed as Sooyoung just scoffed, “It’s gorgeous”

“Yeah well...it’s not that bad…” Sooyoung just grimaced as both Joohyun and I snorted, she obviously likes it. She’s just too stubborn to admit it.

“Joohyun” I cutely smiled at Joohyun as I took her hand and placed the jewelry box in it.

“What’s this?” She asked confused, taking the box.

“Open it” I muttered and Joohyun’s eyebrows were furrowed as she opened it. Sooyoung’s mouth fell open as Joohyun gasped, quickly looking back at me.

“No, Y/N, why?” She whined like a little kid and I just shrugged.

“I saw you looking at it in the market” 

“I can’t accept this” Joohyun quickly closed the box, trying to hand me back the light pink shell necklace.

“Yes, you can” I sassed back and Sooyoung took the box from Joohyun, opening it.

“This is really pretty” She muttered as she took the necklace out and turned Joohyun around.

“Next time tell me when you are in the mood to buy us something” Sooyoung muttered as she carefully placed the necklace on Joohyun.

“This isn’t fair” Joohyun just whined as she touched the shells tenderly, looking at me, “This costs a fortune, how will I pay it back?”

“Your friendship, both of you, is enough. I don’t need money or anything else, just you two” I smiled at Joohyun and Sooyoung gratefully while Joohyun just looked away while Sooyoung rolled her eyes.

“That’s cute, but now we need to go unless you want to miss out on the fun?” 

“Let’s go!” We intertwined our fingers as we quickly took off towards the market.

Obviously, thanks to Sooyoung’s needs, we first stopped at the Inn to drink something. It was loud and more crowded than usual. Men usually populated this place, but now women were roaming around too.

“Something light or…?” Sooyoung raised her eyebrows as we made our way up to the bar.

“Beer” Joohyun was quick to call out as Mr. Kwon looked at us with his eyebrows raised. He’s a middle aged man who’s been working at this Inn ever since it opened.

“Three?” His eyes narrowed at us, trying to recognize us, “Miss Bae, Miss Park and...the Major’s daughter?”

“That’s right” Sooyoung flashed Mr. Kwon a cute smile, waving some cash in her hand. Mr. Kwon got the message and quickly handed us three big glasses of beer. Sooyoung liked her lips as she quickly drank it while I took my time. Joohyun’s eyebrows were furrowed as she carefully gulped down the contents of the glass. I shivered when I finally finished the beer, Sooyoung’s eyebrows raised at us as she already finished it.

“You are supposed to drink it faster” She said with a chuckle as I placed the glass on the high table beside us.

“I’m dizzy” Joohyun muttered as she took a last sip and placed the glass beside mine.

“What?” Sooyoung rolled her eyes as we made our way out “There’s no way you are already dizzy”

“It hits hard” Joohyun muttered as she clung onto my arm.

“This is beer, it can’t hit as hard as Vodka or whatever Mr. Kwon likes to mix” Sooyoung pushed some people away as they were blocking our path.

“Shut up” Joohyun snapped as she sent a little glare at Sooyoung “We are all different”

“Wow, they overdid themselves this year” Sooyoung’s voice was mocking as she stared at the market with a scoff on her lips.

“What did you expect? It’s the one-hundredth year anniversary of this Festival” Joohyun deadpanned, rolling her eyes.

“Well, I don’t think it’s bad” I shrugged while looking around. The market was cleared of the stalls, a decent looking stage placed at the other entrance as the middle was left empty for people to dance. On the stage, a band was singing some slow songs, an older band that had been playing ever since I was born. They are quite old but people here like them a lot, well, mostly elderly people.

“I should find Jaemin” Joohyun muttered as she looked around, just as people started clapping and the band left the stage only for another to come up.

“Good evening!” The young boy spoke loudly into the microphone, he was one of Jaemin’s friends, Jeno.

“We hope we can make you feel good tonight, have lots of fun!” The youngest, Jisung, spoke into his own microphone enthusiastically. The crowd clapped loudly, some even whistled. 

“They do look good” Sooyoung’s lips pulled into a grimace as she watched the band pace around before starting to play some upbeat music.

“I’m going now” Joohyun flashed us an excited grin before running off towards Jaemin. Both Sooyoung and I watched with a pout as Joohyun was hugged by Jaemin, and our usually shy Bae Joohyun, actually kissed Jaemin on the lips.

“I didn’t see that coming” Sooyoung’s voice was surprised as I looked at her with my eyes wide.

“Well...at least she’s having fun tonight”

“Yah, if you think I’m not having fun tonight...you are wrong” Sooyoung crossed her arms in front of her chest as she pursed her lips at me.

“Are you leaving me too?” I asked with a sigh, maybe I’ll just go home after that.

“Not yet” Sooyoung flicked her hand, leaning closer to me “We have fun first”

I giggled as Sooyoung took my hand in hers and we went to join the others dancing, the music loud as people laughed and danced together. I grimaced at Sooyoung as she twirled me around, making her laugh. Our fingers intertwined as we danced around, bumping into people, even being able to tickle Joohyun as we passed by her, our dancing wilder than others. Some people glared at us when we just laughed but others joined us and soon we were breathless and retreating to a table that was empty by the stage.

“Oh, this is fun” Sooyoung laughed as she patted her forehead.

“Who needs boys, right?” I winked at her as I gathered my long hair in one hand, fanning myself.

“I do” Sooyoung pursed her lips and I just rolled my eyes, eyes falling on the crowd. I could see Joohyun dancing with Jaemin, a big grin on her lips as Jaemin was smirking at her. Unfortunately, it wasn’t just me who saw them, Yunho, on the other side of them was dancing with a girl, Soojin, but his eyes were on Joohyun and Jaemin his glare hard as it was directed at the happy couple.

“Yunho isn’t too happy” I muttered as Sooyoung searched the crowd, a snort leaving her lips.

“That’s what he deserves, Soojin is just made for him” At that both of us burst out laughing, Soojin being not one of the best girls in the town. After cooling off, Sooyoung waved at a bartender from the Inn and asked for water as we continued to sit at the table, wanting to rest just a little more.

As I looked around, my eyes lingered on the entrance to the market, a strange feeling enveloping me. I can’t be spotted by my father or Mrs. Han or else I’ll get in trouble. Just as I was about to look away, nine men came walking towards the market.

“Sooyoung” I called out, reaching for her arm to get her attention.

“What” She snapped as she ignored the boy that tried flirting with her “I was in the middle of some--oh”

“Exactly” My eyebrows furrowed as my eyes took in the figures of the nine men “Who are those?”

“I have no idea…” Sooyoung chuckled, a smirk forming on her lips “But they definitely live up to the image of a good man”

“They seem dangerous” I muttered as my eyes were drawn to the tallest one, his black hair curly as it fell messily on his tanned forehead. They all looked tanned, too tanned. My eyebrows furrowed as I let my eyes rest on them for longer, observing how they were dressed. Their pants were a dark green, form-fitting as they were tucked into black boots and they all wore white shirts, some tucked some not, their tanned chests on display.

“I don’t know about you” Sooyoung was on her feet, dusting her green dress of “But I really like what I see”

“Sooyoung” I finally averted my eyes from them, catching her hand when she went to move away, “We don’t know who they are. They could be dangerous people”

“And what if they are from the Sun Kingdom?” She raised her eyebrows.

“But we don’t know” I insisted and Sooyoung only rolled her eyes, shrugging my grip off her hand.

“And I will get to know them, unlike you” She shrugged as she walked away with a small wave, heading to the Inn, where these nine mysterious men disappeared to. I sighed watching as Sooyoung had a bounce in her step, greeting a few people. Now I really am alone, should I head home? But as that crossed my mind, suddenly someone appeared in front of me. I looked up to see Yeri smiling down at me.

“Did your friends ditch you?” She asked.

“Oh...I guess they did” I chuckled, scooting over to let her sit down.

“Well, Seulgi and Wendy unnie left me alone” Yeri sighed as she looked at me “And I saw you sitting here so I thought I’d come up and speak to you”

“Thanks, Yeri” I patted her shoulder, making her smile widely back, “Do you not have a date?”

“Oh...well, I kinda did” She played with her blonde hair, biting her lip “But I guess I was ditched”

“By whom?” My eyebrows furrowed as Yeri just sighed.

“Yuta” She muttered and I snorted loudly. Yeri’s head whipped in my direction, eyebrows raised.

“Yuta is a charmer, you should have known better. He targets young girls, don’t fall for his flirting anymore, okay?”

“I realized that too” Yeri just pouted, voice quiet.

“Well, since we both are dateless...let’s go and dance!” I exclaimed, pulling Yeri up with me. She giggled as she followed after me, waving at Jisung and Chenle when I dragged her to the front of the stage.

“Why are you dateless?” She raised her voice, swaying to the music.

“Because my father forbid me from coming” 

“Why?” Yeri asked surprised, giggling when I twirled her around.

“White moon, usual superstitions” I just rolled my eyes and Yeri giggled again, bumping her hip into mine. We both giggled as we made eye contact and wiggled our butts to the rhythm.

“Y/N” She spoke up as we connected our palms, dancing in circles “Did you see those men that came?”

“I did, don’t speak to them” I warned her, changing places with a jump “They can be dangerous”

“What if they are pirates?” She bit her lip in excitement as I tensed a little, looking around quickly.

“They disappeared eight years ago” I answered, holding her hand in one hand as we got away from the stage, dancing more in the center of the market.

“But my brother says that there was a crew sailing around the Moon Kingdom and rumors say they are ruthless and powerful. You know my brother wouldn’t lie about something like that” Yeri’s eyebrows were furrowed as I hummed, twirling around as she pushed me around. From too many spins, I became disoriented and ended up tripping over my feet and sent Yeri back, making her giggle. She almost fell on her butt but she seemed like she wasn’t bothered by it as some hands steadied her by the waist. My eyes shoot up at the face of the person, only to make me tense when I realized it was the tallest of the nine mysterious man.

“Tricky these dances are, aren’t they?” His deep voice rumbled over the loud music, making me quite surprised that someone like him could have such deep voice. From closer up, his eyes were too big and lips plump, his ears big almost as if he was a Fairy.

“Good enough if they sent me in the arms of a man like you” Yeri was quick to answer and my jaw almost dropped open upon her words. The man’s lips quirked up in amusement as he pushed her slightly away, to let her stand on her own feet.

“Would you mind dancing with me then?” But before Yeri could answer, I gripped her arm and pulled her behind me. Yeri remained silent as I narrowed my eyes at the taller man in front of us.

“She’s not up for a dance with strangers, sorry” I said, voice steady and stern as the man’s eyebrows shoot up.

“And are you her mother to tell her what she can and can’t do?” The man was quick to fire back and I raised my eyebrows at him.

“And who are you to ask such question from a young girl? Dancing? Seriously?” That seemed to shut the man up as he glanced at Yeri once again, his eyes racking over the little body that was still visible from behind me. He seemed like he realized how young Yeri looked and lowered his head a little, almost like in a bow.

“My apologies Miss, I did not realize how...young she looked…” His tone was sarcastic, dripping with teasing and I just smiled at him, obviously not affected by his words.

“Yerim, go find your friends” I muttered to the younger girl as she nodded and patted my shoulder before running off.

“Seems like you don’t have a partner to dance with anymore” I clasped my hands together in front of me as I smiled up at the tall man, “What a pity...” 

“That’s truly a pity” He rubbed his jaw as if he was thinking but then a dangerous glint appeared in his eyes “And since you are the cause of a potential dance partner leaving me...how about you dance with me?”

I chuckled loudly, raising my eyebrows at him, “I don’t trust strangers”

“In that case...I’m Chanyeol” He extended his hand and I glanced at it but didn’t shake it, “Come on, we aren’t strangers anymore”

“Fair enough, I’m Y/N” I gave him my name as well and a smirk appeared on Chanyeol’s lips.

“So...you owe me a dance, Y/N” He muttered, stepping closer. I flashed him a confident smile, maybe I can get some information out of him.

“One dance” I pointed a finger at him and Chanyeol just nodded his head, extending his hand for me to take. Walking us back to the dancing people, Chanyeol’s big hands landed on my waist as I grabbed his elbows. The beat of the music slowly turned slower and slower, until people were swaying to the beat in partners.

“This place seems lovely” Chanyeol spoke up as he lead us to the beat of the music.

“It is” I nodded, looking up into his eyes “Where do you come from?”

For a little moment, his eyes narrowed into slits, but as fast as they came they were gone. A big smile spread on his pink lips, eyes glinting in the lights of the market.

“From the sea” I cocked an eyebrow, lips pulling into an amused grin.

“What a surprise, I would have never guessed” At my tone Chanyeol laughed quietly, but I waited for a real answer.

“Me and my comrades are from the Seven Seas Kingdom” My eyes widened a little bit as Chanyeol hummed along the music, bringing me a little closer to him. The Seven Seas Kingdom is up in the far North, those who travelled there say that people are ruthless and don’t like new comers. The waters are always harsh there, the weather a lot colder than here, in the South.

“Then what are you doing here?” I asked, eyebrows now furrowed as I watched Chanyeol’s lips twitch.

“We are...explorers” That didn’t sound too convincing as he said it, his eyes narrowed when he probably saw I didn’t believe him entirely.

“We wanted to see new places, meet new people. This is my favorite so far” I smiled at him, growing a little stiff when he leaned down.

“And the girls here…” He trailed off with a chuckle, a smirk settling on his lips “are quite beautiful, those people who said so sure didn’t lie”

I snorted, detaching myself from Chanyeol as the song ended and Jeno said his goodbyes before a girl band would take over their place.

“I bet those people had some great experiences here” Chanyeol just smirked as I looked past him to see Sooyoung with a man that arrived with Chanyeol. His light brown hair was pushed back, his jaw sharp as his head hovered dangerously close to Sooyoung’s. My eyebrows furrowed as I watched them dance, not happy to see Sooyoung so careless.

“Ah, do you know her perhaps?” Chanyeol was quick to see the change in my face as he turned around, eyes on Sooyoung and his comrade.

“She’s my friend” I answered, looking back at Chanyeol to see him nodding at the man who was smirking. I really don’t like this.

“He’s Baekhyun, a comrade of mine” Chanyeol looked back at me, his features holding amusement “Don’t worry, he’s a good guy. I’m sure your friend will enjoy her time with him...”

“Yeah, I bet she will” I muttered rather unhappily as the town clock gonged loudly, alerting us that it was midnight. Since I promised my father I wouldn’t come, but I still did, the most I could do was at least go back by midnight.

“Well, if you are looking for fun I suggest you find someone else” I smiled at Chanyeol as he raised his eyebrows.

“I’m leaving...but you can search for a girl called Soojin, she’s quite fun to hang out with...at least that’s what I heard from men around town” I winked at Chanyeol and before he could say a word, I turned around and left the place, hurrying home hoping that father didn’t arrive before me.

                                                      ~~~

     Usually, on a Sunday morning, the town is quiet, everyone enjoying their time with their families. But the loud noises outside steered me awake, eyebrows furrowing as I sat up in my bed, rubbing my eyes. The Major’s house wasn’t far from the market but you still had to walk down the beach or go through the little street to get there. There was some sort of commotion happening outside that I didn’t understand as I got out of bed, opening my door.

“Father!” I called, walking around the house “Are you home?”

There was no response as I knocked on his study door so I pushed the door open, indeed finding it empty.

“Father--” My sentence got cut off by the shrill scream that traveled around the beach and into the house. I froze, heart picking up. I know that scream, I could recognize it anytime.

Throwing the door open, in a haze, I picked up my white gown and threw it over my nightgown as I ran down the beach, barefoot. The wind whipped at my face as my feet sank into the sand, heart beating faster and faster as there was another scream, from the same person. The splashing sounds of the water only edged me on to go faster, the market coming in view as I spotted the people gathered around the stage that was placed for the festival. I ran even faster, lungs burning as I finally got off the beach, feet aching when it made contact with the wood and sand on the ground of the market. I pushed the people out of my way, eyes wide when I could see the people on the stage. A blonde man was holding Sooyoung, holding a knife to her neck while the one who she danced with yesterday night, Baekhyun, was threateningly holding a sword towards Sooyoung’s family. My heart seemed to fall flat when I saw little Yeri, with tears streaming down her cheeks, as she was held by Chanyeol. No, this can’t happen. I flinched back when someone suddenly gripped my hand.

“Y/N” Joohyun’s voice was shaky as she stared at me wide eyed “They--they are pirates”

“What!” I breathed out, still trying to catch my breath.

“They want to take Sooyoung and Yeri” Joohyun continued and I almost choked on air as I looked back towards the stage. It seemed like Sooyoung’s eyes found us as she stared at us, face blank but her eyes held fear. No, this can’t happen, not to them. 

“Mother!” Yeri called out when Chanyeol suddenly started dragging her away and my muscles tensed as I knew I had to do something.

“No!” I screamed, pushing past the few people that were in front of me, Joohyun still gripping my arm, “Let them go!”

The people went silent, shocked as they stared at me. The pirates were looking at me amused, but the blonde one looked surprised even. As my eyes darted around, I saw my father’s wide eyes as he was pushing the people out of his way.

“I’m not letting you take them!” I screamed, looking directly into Chanyeol’s eyes as he stared at me with a smirk.

“Oh really?” His deep voice resonated in the market as people covered back, “What are you going to do?”

“Y/N, no” My father’s harsh voice made me jump, wide eyes looking at him “Stop it”

“Y/N, you can’t--”

“I have an offer” Chanyeol’s voice silenced my father as we looked back at him, “You give us your daughter and these two girls can stay”

The market went dead silent as my heart stopped beating. I felt all eyes slowly fall on me and I gulped. By now, Joohyun’s grip felt normal but the way she was squeezing it suddenly made my whole arm go numb.

“Y/N” She whispered, eyes searching for mine.

“No” My father said, head held high as he looked at Chanyeol and the other three pirates, “I will not let you waltz into my town and take away our women. My daughter or not, you can’t take them”

At that, the three pirates started laughing and people started muttering around us.

“Or we can kill you, it’s your choice” Baekhyun said with a shrug and I glared at him hard.

“Let them go” I said again, eyes pleading as I looked back at Chanyeol.

“Come with us then” Chanyeol tilted his head with a grin and I gulped as Joohyun whimpered beside me.

“I’m not letting you take her!” My father shouted as he charged forward and I gasped when suddenly two more people jumped out from the town people, swords pointed at my father.

“One more step and you are dead” A man with big eyes and a killer gaze spoke up. My father stopped abruptly and silence once again settled over the market until Yeri’s brother turned towards me.

“Go” He spoke up, eyes narrowed at me “They want you, go with them!”

Yeri’s eyes were wide as she stared at her brother, unable to speak. 

“Yes, they want you not my Sooyoung!” Mrs. Park screamed, pointing a finger at me.

“Very well” Chanyeol smiled and he nodded at Baekhyun and the blonde man who let go of Sooyoung and they both took off, coming towards me. Before my father could react he was held back by a gentle-faced man, hold firm.

“Y/N, no, wait, please--” My father continued calling out as Baekhyun grabbed my arm and urged me forward.

“No.” Joohyun’s grip was iron like as she glared straight in the eyes of the blond haired man, “I’m not letting go of her”

“Then you come too” The blond haired man scoffed as he gripped Joohyun by the arm, trying to pull her off me but she was not letting go. Now that Sooyoung was free, her mother was clutching her to her chest as Sooyoung watched with tears in her eyes.

“Kill me if you want to but I’m not letting go of her” Joohyun’s voice was low and her eyes screamed murder.

“What about you come with us then?” Chanyeol suddenly proposed as he roughly pushed Yeri away from him, who stumbled a little before running to her brother.

“I said, let her go” She hissed as she gripped the blond haired man’s arm tightly, the man had a cheshire grin on his face.

“Sorry, but I can’t do that, Miss” He almost looked apologetic as he flashed Joohyun a look before hauling her up by the waist, her grip instantly disappearing from my arm.

“No, let me go!” Joohyun screamed as she started kicking around, Baekhyun suddenly picked up his pace as he dragged me off. I couldn’t do anything but stumble after them, not if I wanted the town and my friends safe. Joohyun’s cries were loud as she screamed after us, probably putting up a fight with the pirate. I caught Sooyoung’s regretful eyes before I was fully dragged out of the market and my father’s tearful eyes. It was okay, I saved people. So after all, pirates were really real. That should have been a shock but I was expecting it in some ways, it was too good to be true, as some would say.

Baekhyun’s grip on my arm was still harsh but he wasn’t dragging me after him anymore, rather walking beside me, whistling quietly as Chanyeol led the way. The other pirates were behind us and as we neared the beach, the blond man ran up to us, cheek a little red and forearms marked with red scratch marks.

“That friend of yours is quite feisty” He chuckled as he fell in step with Baekhyun and me, chest falling and rising quickly. I refused to acknowledge him but I couldn’t fight off the little grin that appeared on my lips, serves him right for touching Joohyun.

“May I get her name?” His question was polite, a charming smile on his lips. I scoffed but still didn’t spear him a glance, my eyes glaring daggers into Chanyeol’s broad back.

“I wouldn’t mind having fun with her when we return” The blond haired man muttered and that ticked a nerve as I flinched away from Baekhyun, jumping to the blonde haired man’s collar.

“Don’t even dream about it. You have me, leave her alone” I hissed as the others eyed us amused, Chanyeol with a scowl on his face.

“All are women like you in this town?” Baekhyun only laughed at the question, pulling me off the blonde haired man quite roughly.

“I guess yes, you have no idea how hard it was to get Sooyoung to finally shut up last night” At that the boys cackled and I looked at Baekhyun, my glare directed at him.

“You don’t scare me” He chuckled, looking down at me “I’ve dealt with scarier things, and I know how to shut you up”

I felt like gagging at his wink but got distracted by the huge ship in front of us. How did we not see this? Was it here all the time? When did they arrive? I wish I did listen to father and didn’t go to the festival last night.

“We have our ways” The big eyed man spoke up behind me, examining my face as if he read my thoughts, “We hid the ship, we aren’t stupid”

“Anyone with two eyes would see such huge ship” I muttered, biting my lower lip when I was getting dragged into the water in order to reach the ship.

“Let’s call it…” A weird grin stretched on the same man’s lips “Magick”

“As if” I scoffed but the man just remained with the same grin, making me feel uneasy. The water reached my waist by the time we reached the ship and I already regretted wearing such a nice gown. The salt water probably ruined it, not like I could wear it anymore, who knows what will happen to me now. I’ve heard enough horrible stories about women who are taken by pirates.

Chanyeol was the first one to climb up the ladder, easily jumping on the ship. I was nudged forward and I almost fell face first into the water. I turned around to glare at Baekhyun but he wasn’t even looking at me.

“We haven’t got all day” He shrugged, pursing his lips “Go on, hurry, little princess”

“Don’t call me that!” I snapped at him, angrily gripping the ladder and hauling myself out of the water, “Try to peek and you are dead”

The men bellow hollered in laughter as I scoffed, eyes set into a glare as I climbed the poorly bid stairs of the rope. It was hard to climb it, it was cutting my feet and the wet dress was another weight on my body. Great choice to wear all white, Y/N, really amazing I must congratulate myself. 

To my relief, there was a hand extended for me when I reached the top and I grabbed it tightly, jumping on the other side of the railing. I was stunned when I looked up, the youthful face handsome and sharp.

“Come” He muttered lowly, voice not too deep as his grip was gentle but firm. 

“Where are you taking me?” I asked, panic rising in my voice as the boy sighed.

“To your room”

“My-my room?” I asked wide eyed, looking at the boy’s face. He seemed serious, not giving much away.

“Captain Park said so” He just shrugged as we descended the desk that led underneath the deck.

“Captain Park” I scoffed, finding it amusing. It sounded amusing. He’s just an asshole, not worth the respect. 

“I suggest you don’t anger him, he’s not pleasant when he loses his temper” The boy commented casually, opening a black door. The room was definitely not big, far from my room back at the Major’s house. There was a bed in the left corner, just enough to fit a single person. A little closet on the opposite and a desk on the right side with a fallen chair. The light was dangling from the ceiling, and I haven’t seen something like that before.

“It’s not that horrible, just listen to the captain” The boy said as he gently pushed me inside the room, “I’m Sehun, by the way”

“Okay” I muttered, eyeing the waiting boy. He had his eyebrows raised, waiting for something.

“Y/N” I muttered, realizing he wanted to know my name. For the first time he smiled, he looked even younger, before he turned around and left me alone, closing the door behind him. I sighed and went to sit on the bed, not bothering to raise the chair back to its place. Curse this whole day. 

   I was left alone for a short time before I heard loud voices above me and I figured it was the boys from the deck. The ship suddenly jolted and my heart clenched, we are taking off. This really is happening, they really are taking me away from my home, my family and my friends. The door opened and I couldn’t help it but glare at the man standing in the doorway.

“I hope you like your room” He grinned, stepping inside uninvited. I glared more at him, murdering him in my mind. It’s all his fault I’m here right now. If he didn’t have to show his masculinity back in town, I could still be at home, but no, he needs to show off.

“Did you forget how to speak, sweetheart?” He asked with a chuckle when I scoffed, still glaring at him.

“You wish I did, and don’t call me sweetheart” I snapped at the pirate.

“I guess you are quite shocked” Chanyeol smirked, only now did I see he had some clothes in his hands.

“Shocked? Not really. Angry? Very much” I flashed him a sweet smile, standing up when he started coming closer towards me.

“Why so snappy? You were nicer yesterday night” Chanyeol pouted fakely and I rolled my eyes, standing with my back straight.

“Yesterday night I thought I was speaking to a man, not a pirate”

“You make it sound like we aren’t human, sweetheart” My jaw clenched at the usage of the nickname as I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

“Are you though?” I raised my eyebrows, gaining Chanyeol’s attention as he was looking around the room before, “If you say you are human, why do you steal, rob towns and kill people? Why did you take me away? I tell you why, for your own sick entertainment. You are just a bunch of assholes who grew up in a bad family and now have to show their superiority to others by such acts? You know what Chanyeol? You got yourself the wrong girl if you think I will obey you or anyone on this ship. Filthy pirates”

“Watch your language” Chanyeol’s deep voice raised an octave as he glared at me, “I won’t let someone like you treat me without respect. A little princess who was raised in wealth and luxury? You have no idea what’s waiting for you”

“Really? What makes you think I’m not going to kill myself the second you leave this room?” I challenged Chanyeol, knowing well damn it was wrong. I shouldn’t test my limits.

“If you want that town to live, you won’t, trust me” He chuckled, standing too close to me for my liking.

“Don’t expect me to respect you, not after what you did, you are just a filthy pirate who probably has some daddy or mommy issues and doesn’t know how to--”

“You will--” Chanyeol’s big palm gripped my neck harshly, cutting my words off “listen to me and obey me. I won’t be treated without respect. You have one week to prove yourself to be useful before I send you out on the dark market or feed you to the sharks. If you know what’s best for you, you will listen to me”

I didn’t want to show it, but I knew the second Chanyeol smirked that the fear I felt was obvious in my eyes. He pushed me away, making me fall on the bed as he strode towards the door, head held high.

“And you won’t be wearing those princess clothes anymore” He chuckled mockingly and my jaw clenched as he slammed the door closed after him.

“I’m not a princess!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, falling in the bed limply, closing my eyes when I suddenly felt them fill with tears. No, I can’t go to the dark market or die, I need to go back to my father and friends. I couldn’t help it but curl up in a ball and let the tears fall as sleep quickly took over me.

                                                     ~~~

     The heavy knocks on my door woke me up from my deep slumber, eyebrows furrowing when I sat up. At first, I felt confused as to why was I slightly swaying but soon realized I was on the ship with those pirates.

“The captain wants you on deck in ten minutes, I suggest you hurry, princess” Baekhyun’s irritating voice made me furrow my eyebrows as I groaned loudly.

“I’m not a princess!” I shouted again for everyone to hear, jumping out of bed. I kept huffing as I paced up and down in the room, not wanting the pirates to see me in my nightgown, it’s quite see-through. What about the clothes Chanyeol brought in yesterday? I suppose they are for me to wear since they don’t have any female clothes. I sighed as I eyed them, thankfully they seemed clean, and quickly got myself dressed. I pulled my hair in a high ponytail, tying it with a rope I always keep on my wrist, just in case. The clothes weren’t too big and they surprisingly fit well, only around the hip area were they a little too baggy. With a grimace, I opened the door and went back the way I was lead here yesterday by Sehun. The hallway was darker than upstairs, so as soon as I stepped into the light my eyes started hurting. I groaned loudly as I walked up to the stairs to the deck, the chatter stopping between the pirates.

“What!” I snapped as nine eyes were on me. I felt a little intimidated but I kept my back straight and head high, that’s how my father taught me, no matter what the situation is, I show who I am.

“She doesn’t look like a princess to me” A man with a weird accent whispered, not quietly, obviously, if I heard him, to the man beside him who had peaceful features. His comrade only chuckled before looking back at me.

“Welcome, princess, I’m glad we didn’t have to drag you up here ourselves” The deep voice beside me was so sudden that it made me jump. The pirates snickered as I glared at all of them.

“That’s probably best for you” I snapped as I looked at Chanyeol “You are not allowed to touch me in any ways”

“Oh really?” Chanyeol asked as a smirk spread on his lips. If he is trying to humiliate me in front of these men, I hope he stops before I kick him in the balls, I’m not afraid to do it. 

“That refers to all of you” I snapped, looking back at the other eight boys.

“Captain, why did you take her? She sounds annoying” A man with cat like eyes commented as he was sitting on some wood barrel, sharpening his daggers.

“I didn’t have much of a choice” Chanyeol sighed beside me and my eyes widened.

“You didn’t have much of a choice?” My voice raised as I looked back at him “You could have easily left my town without showing off, you asshole. Wasn’t I clear enough last night? Do you want me to repeat my thoughts about you all? Would you like the boys hear my thoughts as well?”

Chanyeol’s eyes narrowed as he took a step towards me, making me take a step back away from him. 

“If you want to live, shut up” I snickered at Chanyeol’s threat, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“Really, I’m not afraid of you” I grinned at him but Chanyeol’s jaw was gritted as he suddenly grabbed my arm harshly. I was about to protest but he started dragging me harshly after him, I tried fighting my way out of his hold but he was obviously stronger. 

“Stop” I hissed at him as he stopped right by the edge of the ship, a piece of the railing missing here. The ship was rocking stronger as the wind picked up, waves also stronger. A wrong move and I’d be sent into the sea underneath us.

“See this?” Chanyeol muttered darkly, his grip tightening only a little bit, “Keep that attitude going and this will be your faith”

I yelped when Chanyeol pushed me just a little forward and I quickly latched onto his arm, afraid that he’d really push me into the water.

“You have no power over me, Y/N, don’t forget that” He looked directly into my eyes before pulling me back harshly from the edge, eyes still on me as I slapped his hand off my arm.

“Did you enjoy the show?” I sneered at the rest of the crew as they were looking at us curiously, my comment made them crack up.

“It wasn’t even that entertaining” Sehun said with a shrug and I glared at him.

“Since you are already here” I flinched away from the hand on my back, glaring hard at the tanned boy, “Your help would be nice around the deck”

“My help? I’d rather root away in my room” I scoffed making the boys laugh. 

“Actually, Jongin, that’s an amazing idea” Chanyeol grinned as his eyes lit up, teeth showing. I stared at him a little longer, finding that expression adorable. No, what the hell, we hate Chanyeol, remember?

“I know it is” Jongin grinned as he placed his hand again on my back, making me step away from him.

“So, what are you thinking about?” Chanyeol asked as he eyed Jongin curiously.

“She can be our personal maid!” Jongin exclaimed and my eyes widened as affirmative responses came from the other boys.

“Oh no” I shook my head with an almost hysterical laugh, “I’m not going to clean your mess or be ordered around by you. You did it yourself before, keep doing it. If not, I’d rather jump into the water by myself”

“She’s funny” The blond haired man from yesterday said with a loud cackle, earning a grin from Baekhyun and an eye roll from the big eyed boy.

“I wouldn’t mind some help though” The cat like eyed man spoke up, putting his dagger finally away as he seemed pleased, “Cleaning up the mess after them can be horrifying”

“Exactly my thoughts” I nodded eagerly, pointing my finger at each pirate, “I’m not going to clean their dirt”

“That hurt, princess” Baekhyun placed a hand against his chest “We aren’t that filthy”

“Yes, you all are just some filthy pira--”

“If you’d like…” The big eyed boy spoke up, voice softer than what I was expecting it to be, “You can help out in the kitchen today and clean up tomorrow”

“My room needs cleaning today” The weird accented guy said with a pout, he actually looked cute.

“Clean it yourself” I scoffed, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“Here” I jumped at the loud sound when the blond haired man and Chanyeol dropped different cleaning items in front of me, “You can start right now”

Chanyeol’s grin was the most annoying one, making me fum with anger. I huffed as I picked up a cleaning rug and stormed off, knowing I didn’t have much of a choice but to clean the ship. Screw these pirates.

   Was I right to call them filthy? Oh yes, I was very right. I wonder if these boys even know what washing a cloth is? Except like three people, their clothes smelled horrible and I was forced, by my own brain this time, to wash their clothes as best as I could with the salty water and some soap I found in the ‘dungeons’. It was just actually the storage room underneath all the other rooms, basically the bottom of the ship.

After washing their clothes and proudly hanging them up on a rope on deck, I finished cleaning their rooms, actually happy they didn’t posses many things. But the dust was horrible in one room and I didn’t even want to find out whose it was. By dinner time I was spent as I usually don’t do this at home, we had a house maid who did this job. Sometimes I would help her, but my father wasn’t too fond of the idea. I was forced to not wear the little vest as the burning sun was making me sweat like crazy on deck. Yes, I even had to clean the deck. When I finally finished cleaning, the big eyes man, who’s name is Kyungsoo, approached me cautiously.

“I don’t bite, you know” I muttered, rolling my eyes as I tapped away the sweat on my forehead with some mop I found in my room.

“I take your threats seriously, I still need my private parts, you know” I couldn’t fight back the little smile as I looked at the boy.

“Dinner is ready, you should come and eat with us” The boy continued to watch me as I stood up and rolled down the sleeves of the white shirt.

“Are you the cook or something?” I asked Kyungsoo as we made our way down, heading for the kitchen.

“I can cook too, to their luck otherwise they’d die of hunger” I couldn’t help it but chuckle, imagining Baekhyun whining for food like a little kid. It’s my first day on this ship, what am I doing going around imagining things? No, get yourself together, Y/N. You are the daughter of the Major and you need to get back to Shell somehow.

“That would be nice to watch” I muttered barely but Kyungsoo still heard it and chuckled, opening the door for me. I offered him a thankful smile as the others stopped whatever they were doing, eyes set on us.

“Wow, she smiled” Sehun was the first to break the silence, his face just as blank as his voice. I rolled my eyes and went to sit beside Minseok, the cat like eyed man, rather than Jongdae, blond haired man, who had a dangerous grin on his lips. Kyungsoo occupied the seat beside Jongdae and the boys suddenly went back to eating, digging into their food. Even though Baekhyun was sitting across from me, his loud chewing was getting on my nerves as he kept grinning at what Yixing, the weird accented guy, was telling him. Junmyeon, kind faced guy, kept sighing beside me as he slowly ate his food. My mouth pulled into a grimace when Kyungsoo placed some rice and fish on my plate.

“Oh, princess doesn’t like the food?” Chanyeol mocked from the head of the table. I rolled my eyes and started eating the rice, eyeing the fish.

“You can eat it, I made sure it’s well cooked” Kyungsoo eyed me as I hesitantly teared the fish apart to take out the little bones.

“I don’t exactly like fish” I muttered and Minseok eyed me as him, Junmyeon, Yixing and Kyungsoo were the only ones eating like civilized people.

“Aren’t you from a shore town?” Minseok asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“That has nothing to do with me liking or not fish, it’s not my favorite dish” I shrugged as I slowly chewed the food.

“Well, princess, you’ll have to get used to it...or at least for this week” Chanyeol smirked when I glared at him.

“One week?” Sehun asked curiously, stealing some pepper from Jongin’s plate when he was busy staring at Chanyeol.

“If she’s not useful to us, we are sending her to the dark market. Our next stop is in the Vest Kingdom, so we shouldn’t worry” Chanyeol spoke with authority and the boys remained quiet as he continued, “I’m sure Blackpink wouldn’t mind an addition to the team”

“Jennie and Jisoo would be thrilled to hear” Baekhyun said with a smirk, mouth full of food. I glared at him for not being able to eat like a normal person.

“Who’s Blackpink?” I finally voiced my thoughts, looking around, eyes landing on Junmyeon who sighed once again.

“An organization of girls, a cult, anything you want to call it...they take girls and teach them different things...if they are good fighters, they add them to the Vest Army under Rose’s division, sometimes Lisa gets new girls for entertainment purposes or...Jennie and Jisoo get new girls either for prostitution or different criminal activities” Junmyeon’s explanation made me gulp hard as the boys eyes were on me.

“I don’t...want to meet these girls” I muttered, looking down at my food as I continued to eat.

“Then be a good girl” I could practically hear the smirk in Chanyeol’s voice but for once I decided to gulp down my remark with my food, it won’t do anything good. I don’t want to get to the hands of Blackpink...especially not to Jennie and Jisoo’s hands.

   After dinner, I was nice enough to offer and wash the dishes as the boys left me behind, apparently going back to the deck, cards and bottles in their hands. They were definitely not up to something good. My hands felt numb by the time I finally finished washing the dishes. Drying my hands on my brown pants, I left the kitchen, heading to my room when I heard someone groaning from the top of the stairs. Curiosity getting the best of me, I took a peek only to see Kyungsoo glaring at the steps, leaning against the railing. I was just about to leave when he called my name.

“Y/N?”

“Yes?” He sounded unsure, almost confused.

“Could you help me?” My eyebrows shoot up but I climbed the stairs and joined Kyungsoo.

“What happened?” I asked curiously, realizing he was drunk as his clothes smelled of some strong liquor.

“Oh, we went to play cards and I drank too much” He chuckled, his eyes not exactly on me “Now I’m drunk and can’t descend the stairs...could you help me out a little?”

I sighed but took Kyungsoo’s arm and placed it around my neck, letting him lean against my body.

“I feel sick” He muttered and I almost cringed away, afraid that he’d throw up.

“Why did you drink then?” I asked instead, taking one step at a time, careful to not fall.

“We need to loosen up from time to time” He just shrugged and I huffed as we got to the bottom of the stairs.

“Which is your room?” I asked as I walked down the corridor with Kyungsoo.

“The one beside the kitchen” He muttered, swaying a little, almost knocking us over. I chuckled, looking at him.

“The cook is closest to the kitchen, the boys would die without you here” I muttered and it made Kyungsoo laugh a little too loudly. 

“They are good boys, you know” He hiccuped as we arrived to his room, “Especially Chanyeol, just give them time. Chanyeol is pretending to be all this big and bad boy, but he’s actually softer than any of us--”

Kyungsoo’s eyebrows furrowed as I helped him sit on the bed, glad that his weight was finally off me, “Well, maybe he’s not softer than Jongin, but he’s nice, you know”

“He didn’t leave the best impression” I muttered as I headed to his closet, opening it.

“I’m surprised my clothes fit you that well” Kyungsoo muttered as he eyed me taking out his clothes.

“Your clothes?” I asked surprised, turning towards him.

“Yeah, mine” He chuckled and I grinned a little as I went back to him.

“Can I help you change, you smell awful” I grimaced a little and Kyungsoo hummed.

“So it was me” I chuckled a little as he struggled out of his shirt.

“I’m sure the others are just as smelly as you are and I’m also sure I’m not helping them as well” Kyungsoo laughed drunkenly and held his hands up like a little boy as I fidgeted with the clean shirt.

“You know…” Kyungsoo trailed off for a second as he looked at me seriously with his big glinting eyes, “I’m surprised how much I like you, it’s only the second day of having you here”

“Well, at least I know someone likes me genuinely” I muttered as I buttoned Kyungsoo’s shirt rather clumsily as the waves were harsher tonight and rocked the ship more.

“I guess you don’t like us…” Kyungsoo trailed off, again, watching the ceiling.

“I do like you, it’s just--” I sighed as Kyungsoo and I locked eyes, “You stole me away from my life. I didn’t want this, your Captain dragged me into this mess. I want to go back to my father and my friends. I miss them so much and it’s been only two days, Kyungsoo. I want to escape from this nightmare. Every day I wake up I just hope it was another bad dream, but then Baekhyun whistles ‘princess’ outside my door and I know I’m in the same hell”

Kyungsoo chuckled at my last words and sighed as he gripped my arm, carefully laying down as I helped him.

“I understand how you feel, because I was once like you” He muttered so quietly I almost didn’t hear him, “My life, our lives, weren’t like this always. There’s horrible things out there in the world and we stumbled upon one of them”

“What do you mean?” I asked softly, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion as Kyungsoo pulled me to sit down on his bed, hand still holding onto my arm.

“We were once all carefree kids, running around the markets in our Kingdom and causing mischief” He smiled fondly at the memory, eyes closing, “But one day...Chanyeol stumbled upon something dangerous and that cursed us…”

I stared at Kyungsoo’s peaceful face as I let his words replay in my head. Chanyeol stumbled upon something dangerous and that cursed them? That made no sense. I didn’t see Kyungsoo as the one to believe in fairytales. Was he so drunk that his mind made up stories? They do say after all...drunk men tell no lies. My head swirled with confusion that night as I left Kyungsoo’s room and headed to mine to rest. Were they really cursed? But how did that happen?

                                                   ~~~

     Next day I was up before the sun was. I decided Kyungsoo deserved a good breakfast after the night he had. He most definitely will be hangover. It leaves me confused as to how the swinging of the ship doesn’t make them feel sick as every morning I wake up I feel dizzy and lightheaded. 

Thankfully, I knew my way to the kitchen and didn’t cause any hubbub, however, I did stumble into a chair placed in front of Baekhyun’s room, which left me confused. Why was the chair there in the first place? It wasn’t an easy task finding every ingredient for the seaweed soup I planned on cooking which Mrs. Han taught me after my father had a huge hungover and couldn’t stand up from his bed for a whole day. There was no pepper but paprika would work as well. I hummed quietly to myself as I added all ingredients into the cauldron, careful with the fire of the stove. A very weird stove that I had to stare at for at least ten minutes before I figured how it worked...at least they have a stove. I also figured if Kyungsoo drank so much the other boys must have done the same, and as much as I don’t like them, I don’t wish to hear all day some men whining about how bad they are feeling or worse...having them throw up which I would have to clean afterwards, disgusting. I moved around quietly as I looked for a cup and spoon that I could take to Kyungsoo. 

Today I felt rather creative so before leaving my room I decided I would freshen up a bit my outfit. The pants were too warm as I spent my days out in the blazing sun on deck and decided that I could just shorten them, like Sooyoung’s sister taught me once. Just the thought of Sooyoung brought tears to my eyes but I blinked them away knowing she was safe, and focused rather on the little happiness I felt after successfully designing these new pants for myself. I hope Kyungsoo wouldn’t mind seeing as I ripped one of his pants.

I jumped as someone cleared their throat behind me, slamming the cup down against the table beside me.

“What are you doing?” The deep voice was hoarse and I turned around with a glare.

“Cooking, obviously” I muttered as I took in Chanyeol’s disheveled form. He looked horrible, honestly. The only thing that sat rightly on him were his pants. His blue shirt was wrinkled and all buttons undone and black curly hair sticking out in every possible direction while his face looked swelled.

“Are you planning on poisoning us?” He chuckled as he shuffled inside the kitchen, eyebrows furrowed as he held onto his head.

“I wish I was doing just that...but no” I answered Chanyeol as I watched him amused. He seemed disoriented as he opened cupboards.

“What are you searching for?” I asked curiously as I watched him hiss as he closed his eyes. Just how strong was the liquor they drank last night?

“Stop asking questions or else my brain will blow up” Chanyeol hissed and I chuckled as he drew closer opening and slamming the doors of the cupboards. 

“Then I shall gladly continue questioning you” I said with a smirk when Chanyeol sent me a dark glare, making me chuckle. Who would take a man seriously when he looked like that? He stopped in front of me and I tensed as he leaned up and opened the cupboard above me, his chest pressing dangerously close to my face. Bare chest, tanned chest, muscular chest...I hissed at my own thoughts, silently lecturing myself for openly drooling at the enemy.

“Curse Kyungsoo, we’ve got no hangover potion anymore” Chanyeol slammed the cupboard door close with a groan. I grinned as I looked up at him.

“Luckily for you, I have just what you are looking for” Chanyeol’s eyes landed on me as he stared down at me, eyebrows raised.

“And what is that?” He asked mildly interested and I smirked at him as I pushed him away harshly, making him groan as he stumbled backwards.

“My poison is actually a soup for hangovers so...sit down and wait patiently” I pointed the spoon at him as I went and took another cup and walked back to the cauldron. It was boiling, green bubbles raising to the surface, that means it’s all good to serve. Filling half of the cup, I walked to the table and placed the cup and spoon in front of Chanyeol while staring at him expectantly. He stared at the soup in disgust as it continued boiling, the green bubbles continuously raising to the surface.

“I was right, you are trying to poison us” He muttered as he carefully took a spoonful and stared at it.

“Well excuse me, but until you stare at it and contemplate whether it will kill you or not, I shall head to Kyungsoo’s room and feed him the soup” I said with a glare and walked past Chanyeol, ignoring his confused gaze as I knocked on the boy’s door. There was a quiet murmur and I walked inside, closing the door behind me.

“Morning!” I called loudly and cheerfully, watching as Kyungsoo squirmed and pulled the covers over his head. I chuckled and went to sit beside him on the bed.

“You know, as much as seeing you all squirming and whining amuses me, I decided to be nice and not poison you while I cooked this soup” I said quietly as if talking to a child and Kyungsoo peeked out from underneath his covers.

“What soup?” He asked quietly, voice barely audible.

“Seaweed soup, the best one from my Kingdom, an old lady taught me how to make it”

“It must be good then, old ladies always know what they are doing” Kyungsoo muttered as he carefully sat up and took the cup from my hands.

“You are underestimating me, comrade” I glared at him jokingly and a smile appeared on his lips as he smelled the soup. I watched as he started eating it carefully, slowly grinning and grinning wider.

“So it’s good then?” I asked with a grin and Kyungsoo nodded eagerly as I chuckled.

“Its effects come rather quickly so you shouldn’t worry about--” There was a big commotion outside the door as loud whining and footsteps combined together.

“You better go and feed them before they realize we have no more hangover potion and think it’s the end of the world” Kyungsoo said with a chuckle as he nodded towards the door.

I sighed as I glanced at the door, not wanting to leave Kyungsoo’s room, “Fine”

The second I was out in the hall it felt like I was in the market. The boy’s voices blended together, louder and messier than ever before. This was a disaster already. I stood in the doorway to the kitchen and clapped my hands loudly. Everyone in the room groaned loudly as Baekhyun glued his palms to his ears, Yixing following suit.

“If you’d just take a seat and calm down I could actually help you out!” I said loudly, making Jongin whine as he looked at me in pain. Chanyeol remained quiet as he looked at everyone and as he nodded everyone took their places at the table, except for Kyungsoo who was still in his room.

“Very well” I said with a pleased smile and walked to the cups and took eight of them to fill with the soup, I was hungry as well. Handing them the cups and spoons I took a seat opposite Chanyeol and quietly started eating, that is until someone made a gagging sound.

“What the hell is this?” Of course it was Baekhyun who was glaring at his green soup.

“Poison” I said casually and all boys stopped eating as their eyes fell on me. Jongdae spit back the content from inside his mouth into his cup. I remained nonchalant as I kept eating that is until Chanyeol started laughing loudly. My eyes widened and we all looked at him as if he was crazy.

“You good, Captain?” Junmyeon asked softly as he had already begun eating again, having seen that I was eating the same soup.

“You really don’t think she’d poison herself as well?” Chanyeol asked as he looked at the rest of the boys that weren’t eating anymore, “It’s good for your hangover, eat it”

And with that Chanyeol rose from the table as the boys started eating again, eyes finding mine when he was in the doorway. He nodded at me subtly and I looked back down to my soup as he walked away. I guess that was his way of saying ‘thank you’.

                                                      ~~~

     The days passed by quickly and I became more and more nervous as we were drawing closer and closer to the Vest Kingdom. Chanyeol still wasn’t saying if I would stay with them or if they would sell me away. I was really holding onto the hope that seeing as Kyungsoo, Sehun and Jongdae really liked me, Chanyeol would keep me around. But then...Baekhyun doesn’t like me and neither does Chanyeol and seeing as those two are rather close, I will most likely be sold off. Before that happens, however, I have formed a plan in my head. If I am to be sold, I shall act like a weeping princess and beg them to keep me, acting of course because I wouldn’t beg a pirate even if my life was at stake. So then we get to the market in the shore town of the Vest Kingdom and I kneel whoever is with my in the groins and run away, hiding. After they leave I travel to the Queen of the Kingdom and beg her to send me home, our Kingdom’s might not be on good terms, however my father once helped her and she needs to turn back the favour. 

   I was busy cleaning the Captain’s cabin, which was fairly larger and fuller of objects than the others room. Of course Chanyeol would take the largest room, he was that selfish. I sighed as I dusted off another shelf of books until one book caught my eyes, ‘Curses and how to live with them’. What was a book like that doing here? The others were about traveling, the kingdoms and some myths and fairytales written by famous authors. My eyes narrowed as I took the book and walked back to the big oak desk, abandoning the rag on the chair, as my eyes fell on another book laying beside the outstretched map, ‘Witches, Curses, Countercurses’. What is all this curiosity about curses? Was Chanyeol planning on cursing someone? Perhaps me? Then suddenly Kyungsoo’s drunken words about a curse rang through my brain. Was it true then? Did he really say the truth? It seems like.

“What are you doing?” I slammed the black book against the desk in fright as Chanyeol’s deep voice boomed in the room.

“Cle-cleaning your room” I cursed myself for stammering, but Chanyeol’s gaze was murderous.

“Doesn’t look like it” He snapped as the door behind him slammed shut, making me jump again. Curse you, Y/N.

“Who allowed you inside?” He walked closer and I walked to the other side of the desk to make sure there was distance between us.

“I’m supposed to be cleaning every single room on this ship, remember?” I snapped as I sent a glare at Chanyeol, heart beating faster than before. I’m afraid, but I don’t know why. Being closed inside a room with Chanyeol alone makes my hair stand on edge and heart beat fast. Maybe because he’s the one that basically kidnapped me or maybe because he’s really handsome, however this is the first and last time you hear me saying that, or maybe because he looks like he could kill me with his eyes after he took a look at the book I took interest in.

“I didn’t give you permission, however, to clean this room” His dark eyes watched me intently as he walked closer.

“Yes, but you also didn’t state that I was not allowed inside, so how was I supposed to know?” I raised my eyebrows at him as we kept circling the desk, him trying to close in on me and me trying to put more and more distance between us.

“You were snooping around. I don’t tolerate thieves on my ship” My eyes widened at the accusation. Does that mean he’ll really sell me? I’m not even a thief!

“I’m not a thief!” I exclaimed angrily as I walked faster after Chanyeol tried lunging at me, “Stop running after me, I told you I won’t let you touch me!”

“As if someone will respect your wishes on this ship” Chanyeol sneered and I glared at him fiercely as I took the black book from the desk in my hands, his eyes fixating on it before his glare intensified.

“To keep you updated, Kyungsoo, Sehun, Junmyeon, Yixing, Minseok, Jongin all respect my wish so I don’t see your problem here, Chanyeol” I taunted him with a smirk and Chanyeol scoffed before his glare returned again.

“Put that book down” He demanded, making me look at the black book in my hands. He stopped in his tracks and so did I.

“No” I answered defiantly, glancing at the open window. Chanyeol seemed to pick up on my train of thoughts as his eyes darkened even more.

“Don’t even think about it” He warned, Adam apple bobbing up and down as he gulped. He almost looked...nervous.

“Why does this book matter so much to you?” I pressed on, knowing my luck was running thin.

“Put it down on the desk and I will let you go unharmed” Chanyeol’s voice sounded nice for the first time, but I didn’t like the threat.

I smirked as I took a small step towards the open window, the waves crashing loudly against the side of the ship, “What if I throw it out the window? The ocean will swallow your book and then--nothing will remain of it. Like you did with me. You took me away from everything I held dear and threatened to sell me off”

“I will take you back home, but put that book down, now” Chanyeol’s lips pulled into a tight smile and I chuckled as my eyes widened, amused that for once I had the upper hand while interacting with him.

“I don’t believe you” I said the words slowly, looking down at the book with a deep fake frown, “And I don’t like this book, we’d be only even if I made it disappear, don’t you think, Chanyeol?”

His eyes stayed fixed on my hand and I smirked as the silence dragged on, neither of us making a move. The desk was still between us. What’s my plan though? I throw the book out the window and run from his room? I can’t hide in my room, I’m on his ship for God’s sake. He’ll throw me off the ship in the best case, better to drown than get sold off to that Blackpink organization. I’d rather die than become a slave. But I want him to hurt like I do, knowing how far away I am from all of my loved ones. My eyes must have shown finality because Chanyeol’s eyes widened as he jumped towards me right as I raised my arm. I was going to throw the book out of the window, it almost left my hand, but I was roughly showed into the bookcase behind me, book flying out of my hands but sadly onto the wooden floor and not out the window. I hissed as the shelves dug into my back, Chanyeol’s big body pressed against me. I flailed my arms, pushing against his chest hard but Chanyeol growled and just held on tighter. I kicked his shin hard, realizing my hands were no use, and Chanyeol yelped loudly as he let go of me, I was finally able to push him away. I turned sharply and went to run for the door but before I could take even three steps hands around my waist whirled me around and I screamed as I was thrown against the desk. I yelped in pain as my hips crashed into the edge of the desk, probably bruising it as well, before I was turned around again, hand around my neck. I was bent backwards, feet barely on the floor and hands gripping the desk tightly as I fought against Chanyeol trying to push me down against the desk fully. Realizing I wasn’t about to give up the fight, he stopped pushing me but his hand remained around my neck, keeping a firm grip. He lay his other hand on the desk behind me, leaning so close our lips were almost touching.

“You are going to pay dearly for that” He spoke quietly, aware that due to our closeness I could hear him very well, but his voice was deadly.

I huffed, maintaining his eye contact even if I was close to shaking, “I didn’t even get to throw it out the window so why are you getting worked up, Chanyeol?”

“Stop saying my name like that” He snapped and I smirked as I raised my eyebrows.

“I don’t like being called princess and yet you still call me that…” I pretended to think for a moment, “What to do, what to do…��

“I know what I’m going to do with you” The dark smirk that stretched on his lips made me gulp, “And I have a feeling you won’t like it--”

“You and your crew are cursed” I blurted out in panic, not wanting to hear the rest of Chanyeol’s words. Chanyeol’s mouth remained opened as he looked at me mildly shocked, hand tightening around my neck.

“How do you know” He growled after collecting himself.

“Kyungsoo told me when you all got drunk” I whispered, my heart pumping fast due to the adrenaline. 

“He can’t keep his mouth shut when drunk, the idiot” Chanyeol hissed as he looked past me.

“So it’s true then…” I trailed of gripping his wrist with one hand as his grip was becoming uncomfortable, but Chanyeol didn’t loosen it he just looked back at me with a fire burning in his eyes.

“I decided last night to sell you off tomorrow” Chanyeol’s words felt as if a weight was dropped onto me. My eyes widened and I gripped his wrist firmly now, feeling the panic rising in me again. But I thought he’d keep me after everything I did for him on this ship!

“But--but I did everything you asked and I--”

“You are too annoying and what you did everyone else on this ship can do, therefore you are to no use to us” Chanyeol’s voice held finality as he pulled me upright, back to my feet and let go of me.

“No, you don’t understand! I--I did everything you asked me why would you--the boys like me! I help Kyungsoo a lot and I--Sehun said how much he liked my company and that you feel better having me around! He told me that you enjoy my company, Chanyeol, why would you--”

“All that boy talks is nonsense” Chanyeol scoffed, averting his eyes from mine. I felt the tears in my eyes as I gripped his biceps trying to get him to look at me.

“Chanyeol, please--”

“Get out” His voice was quiet as he didn’t look at me.

I shook his arms as I stared up at him helplessly, “Please, Chanyeol, don’t do--”

“Get out” He repeated his words still refusing to look at me, still standing numb underneath my touch.

“Chanyeol, I--”

“Get out!” He suddenly shouted so loudly that a sob involuntarily escaped my lips. He stepped back and wrenched his arms out of my hold as he walked to his chair, leaving me trembling. I took off towards his door almost numbly as my lips trembled as tears rolled down my cheeks.

“You are the monster they speak about in the fairytales and myths” I muttered lowly before slamming his door shut and running down the corridor and towards my room. 

I wanted to die.

~