#and how it may affect how you treat transmascs in your day to day life

[sadkachow]

hey. hey you.

look at that character you’re headcanoning as a trans man.

are you headcanoning him that way because you think it’s interesting, or because he’s a twink and acts kind of feminine?

if you write about him, do you treat him the same way you do your other characters, or is he distinctly separated?

can he handle himself, or is he always the damsel in distress? do you have someone bigger and stronger than him always save him?

do you make him act more childish or confused? is he super innocent and needs someone wiser to guide him?

are you willing to explore what his transness means, or do you just think it makes him hotter?

did you make him trans because you wanted to write him as the bottom? is he trans because you wanted him pregnant without "technically" writing mpreg?

are you willing to headcanon big strong men as trans men? old men? not stereotypically attractive men? men of color? fat men? disabled men?

is his transness a part of him or do you just treat it is a prop?

on the other hand, is he more than just his transness, or is that all there is to him?

do you include other queer and trans people in your work? how do you treat them in your writing?

how do you treat actual trans men? trans men who dont pass? trans men who do? who dont feel comfortable being perceived as feminine? who present in a more feminine way? who identify as more than just a man? who arent just white twinkish silly feminine men? who are kids, meaning you can’t just sexualize them? who are more than just props to be used within a story to push the plot along?

are you willing to listen to trans men who speak out on their issues, or does that seperate them too far from the fantasy you’ve concocted about them?

how do you treat trans men?

[yanderestarangel]

♡ 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍 𝐁𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 ♡

a/n : Omg I'm back! requests and asks OPEN! [ I promise to answer the asks this time (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧]

𝐓𝐖: extreme smut, v!sex, FTM/transmasc reader, male pronouns, creampie, sadism, hard dom!bi han, titan bi han, light spoilers about MK1 "invasion" mode, BDSM, sub!reader, dark!smut, dead dove, dub con, manipulation.

𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍!𝐁𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐍 : He is a hard!dom, he is sadistic and will love to use you as a mere disposable toy ── he will hold you with collars, pulling you around by the neck, some have heart or padlock shaped pendants, and written details such as: "Bi Han's property", "Bi Han's good boy", "Bi Han's Cumslut." Among other nicknames that mix degradation and the slightest bit of praise.

If you are a person who gets attached quickly, I feel sorry for you honey, he is a manipulative and intelligent man and knows how to play with your feelings in the most painful way possible ── he will punish you and tell you that you deserve it, whether is this statement true or just a daydream in the Titan's sick head; pinning you to the bed and sticking your ass up, spanking you several times until you beg him to forgive you for anything you've done... Which will leave him very satisfied and give you the minimum amount of affection, running his fingers through your hair and speaking in a cold, tenderly calculating voice. "You know daddy's happy when you're obedient, right? I just do this to keep you safe... My sweet boy." The words were such a feather-soft lie that you subjected yourself to more and more of his rough treatment.

He'll treat you however he wants, cumming in your holes until you're an overstimulated, dumb mess, drooling all over his sheets while Bi Han would just smile sadistically and tug at the shibari ropes that painfully adorned your creamy, bruised flesh ── for countless hours when you would be completely open to him, with your pussy sore and defenseless, as the cyromancer liked.

"Shhh...Stop whining like a pathetic slut." He would hold your face in one of his hands, slapping your overstimulated pussy hard, making his cold cum shoot out and spread across your thighs. "Are you that useless? You can't even handle my dick in that pretty pussy? Tsk tsk tsk."

After he is completely satisfied, he will leave you alone, and disappear for days, simply saying that he is too busy for trivialities ── but he will only use this tactic to see you crawl back to him, more submissive, more insecure, he is a manipulative worm and knows how to use you in favor of his wishes, he may even love you, but it will be a love that only he understands based on pure and unadulterated domination and submission, and if you try to escape his clutches, he will make your life hell or, lock you in a bunker in an unknown place, molding you like his pet, breaking your spirit ── Bi Han will also use his powers to play with you... He always fucks you on his throne , he doesn't mind breeding your pussy in front of all his servants, he is a cold and tyrannical man and only his personal pleasure matters to him.

He'll use his ice powers to play with your nipples, or use his icy touch on your sore clit ── if you meet him on a good day, maybe you'll get a little affection during sex, maybe some caresses on your face , maybe some sloppy open-mouth kisses with vague praise in between his growls, while his cock pulsed and stuffed your pussy again. "Yes... You are my prince, only mine... My beautiful obedient boy."

You will find yourself in need of his love, his caresses, you want him to love you, regardless of whether you are his toy or not ── even if he doesn't admit it, inside his lifeless white eyes he loves to see how your eyes light up when he enters the room, when he gives you the slightest attention, he really is a sadist, but deep down he is sorry for treating you like this ── a kiss on your forehead from his cold lips and a sigh is an indication of that, but he is already too corrupted by his own thirst for power, and you are the only thing that still keeps him sane... Even if it is in a distorted way.

"Come on boy... Come here, take care of me." The phrase left his lips again, with a light touch of the clawed iron glove he wore, you were going to serve him again, like an endless endless cycle of pain and pleasure.

𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒅 ©𝒚𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍. 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒚, 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆.

♡⁠˖ 》 my ao3 profile

♡⁠˖ 》 my janitor a.i pfp

♡⁠˖ 》 my character a.i pfp

♡⁠˖ 》 my spirit fanfic pfp - in pt br only

[mars-ipan]

God I feel you on this. There are so many avenues for people to get sucked into bullshit infighting too.

I s2g every time I engage with trans content my for you feed starts serving me a ton of discourse about intercommunity transandrophobia or w/e and like... if people are being weird about trans men that's worth talking about sometimes, but I get the impression there are corners of the trans community that are doing nothing but scream at each other in some pointless transmasc vs transfem war. Meanwhile I'm sitting here on TERF island, transfem people right beside me, hoping our HRT and shaky legal rights don't get nuked in the next 5 years 💀

I feel like a general online discourse rule should be that if you're putting more energy into fighting your own community/policing language/etc than fighting people that materially affect our lives, something's gone wrong and you're at high risk of radicalisation into bigotry. Or might already be there.

ghhrgh LITERALLY….. like .

from what i’ve seen a lot of this transandrophobia debate came up in response to seeing trans women talk about transmisogyny. my theory is that a portion of tme folks saw that people have been discussing transmisogyny and felt that they were having their unique experiences erased. which, like, look . i get it. erasure is something i’ve experienced kinda my whole life. i understand that it feels Bad to have your struggles downplayed. i had that same worry at first. BUT. we GOTTA be able to examine how your own fears and anxieties and biases may be coloring your perceptions!!! bc yes being trans does not make you immune to transmisogyny!! we live in a transmisogynistic world implicit bias is Going To Happen.

like. transmisogyny is a real thing that happens and disproportionately affects transfems. transmisogyny is not something non-transfem people experience unless they are falsely perceived to be transfem. it is a uniquely transfeminine experience coming from the intersection of being trans and female (or female-adjacent). it is not just a unique kind of transphobia, but rather the intentional combination of transphobia and misogyny.

is this to say that transmascs don’t experience their own unique kind of oppression? no! but it’s not an intersectional oppression and it shouldn’t be treated as such. also, the name of “transandrophobia” just gives off. a really uncomfortable energy. you’re not being oppressed because you’re male. you’re being oppressed because you’re trans. i don’t feel like we need to give this type of transphobia a name because it is just transphobia. similar to how misogynoir is a word but we don’t have a word for the specific type of oppression black men face because that’s just racism. just because transphobia impacts you in a certain way doesn’t mean it’s a special type of transphobia, and really why are we playing oppression olympics in the first place? we’re ALL hurting. can we just like… help each other out? can we stop accusing transfems of like…. deliberately trying to overshadow transmasc issues or whatever? and for the love of god if we have to argue can we STOP misgendering and degendering each other mid-argument.

like. at the end of the day this is all trivial shit because In Real Life we’re being targeted by horribly cruel legislation and social movements. it’s like we’re in a burning house and i’m watching my brother and sister argue over black mold. like yes that’s a problem but i think !!!! we should focus on putting out the fire !!!! like i live in texas. lawmakers have been trying to pass anti-trans bills here for ages, and a couple of them have gone through! i remember being sat down in gsa in my freshman year of high school and having the club sponsors tell us that if a bill that was up for ratification mandating that teachers out their students to their parents was passed that they would do everything in their power to keep us safe. i have to be careful about how i dress when i go to certain places. and i’m not even someone who’s transitioning medically— lord knows what kind of bullshit hurdles people on hrt have to go through to get it. and we’re arguing over what we want to call our oppression? we’re all facing transphobia at the end of the day can we PLEASE fix that instead of dividing ourselves into little easy-to-eliminate factions please and thank you

[gencrittransvestite]

No, I am not being a troll

As my url states, I have autogynephilia and by common definition I am transfem/TIM, but I also support radical feminism generally and its stance on trans people specifically (I know that a lot of you consider "TERF" a slur, but I picked it as more open, because a lot of people here are trying to make radical feminism trans-inclusive by removing sex-based oppression from it).

Why do I believe in sex-based oppression?

Because it obviously exists and you can see it in how transmasculine people are treated

Because it's the only meaningful explanation of emergence of patriarchy

Because sex of trans people still affects our lives and everyone recognizes it

I went through a brief period of detransition because of severe doubts, and it made me realize that attempts at describing patriarchy as "gender-based oppression" fail to address cases of detransitioners

My stance on trans people

(This has gotten long, but TL/DR: sex and gender are different, and both are valid in different contexts)

I don't think that trans people are purposefully being predatory and inherently wicked, don't come at me with this thing.

I don't think that gender identity is innate the way sexuality is, I do believe that it's constructed, but I don't think that it's not real altogether. It's real the same way ethnicity or religion are - there is nothing in your brain that makes you Swede or Catholic, but this identity has meaning to people and affects their lives. And I don't mean masculinity/femininity by it, I have masculine female friends who I am not trying to trans, and GNC trans people are real.

Some people are trans because of life-long physical dysphoria, some because they detest social expectations, some internalize homophobic or sexist stereotypes, some do it because of AGP/AHE (which is not some dirty perversion), some have culturally-specific reasons, and much more. Obviously, different groups of trans people have different needs, and some of them wouldn't be trans in different societies or won't be in the futue, but they are trans now and that's something you can't dismiss.

However, one's gender identity doesn't erase your sex (though a lot of trans people tend to emphasize with people of their gender rather than sex), and doesn't make you entitled to be included in someone's sexuality. Sexuality is about body as much as it's about personality, and it's bodies that we have innate attraction to. Existence of trans people and especially medically transitioning ones does complicate categorization, because some people may be only attracted to men in daily lives but also wouldn't mind transmasc partner who is on T but didn't have SRS, some would dislike even fully operated partner because other features or even because of their AGAB (and it's fine), and some people may have no preference in bodies but strong preference in gender identity, and so on. But in the end of the day, for a lot of people it's either birth sex that matters or they are bisexual, and it's completely fine.

This attitude is especially gross when it comes to gay people, because on top of trans people simply not being attractive to them it provokes their trauma response.

Why do I call myself AGP?

This is complicated and some of it is just for edginess.

But also I recognize that my physical dysphoria is pretty insignificant and incomplete, and I can't even prove that it won't go away. That's why I decided to not transition.

When I say AGP I mean that I feel a thrill when I think of myself as a girl etc. I don't get hard from it and don't enjoy being degraded for femininity, as transphobic caricatures say, but I think that foundation of my AGP is at least partially in attraction to women.

It also highlights the fact that I am probably not a "true transsexual" or otherwise absolutely inborn woman, and I accept it. Whatever.

Some additional information:

My chosen name is Belle

This blog exists as my attempt to build bridges from transfem side (transmascs both do it themselves and some cis women reach out to them) and to provide insights both about lives of transfems and views of radical feminists to anyone who asks

I am into women, but I don't call myself a lesbian because it feels like too much of an intrusion. I won't describe my sexuality further here, but asks are open

DNI: misogynists, homophobes, racists (including antisemites and zionists)

If you feel uncomfortable about me - just block me, I won't feel bad

I admit being male, but I still dislike it. It's always fine to point how being socialized as a boy or being perceived as male changes my social life, and I recognize sexual dimorphism in reasonable (i.e. real) terms, but I would like you to not go out of your way to trigger my dysphoria. Thank you

[dkettchen]

✨ Men's day PSA ✨

by your friendly neighborhood transmasc men's lib activist ⁓

To the women, male feminists, gays, nonbinaries and transmascs who haven't gotten with the program yet:

If you want the rest of us (incl all trans & otherwise genderqueer ppl) to be free, cishet men need to be freed, because misandry and gender roles affect all of us, but they're the ones defining society's mainstream conception of what it is to be a Man™.

And cishet men can't do that by themselves, so they need your allyship!

Here's my old video on men's issues if you need a general intro to men's lib. Feel free to also check out my videos on men's studies and matriarchy, as well as the various things linked in their descriptions.

Here's some simple things you can do for the men in your life:

question your misandry & anti-men/-masculinity biases

ex. do you think it's fine to make fun of/be mean to men? how do you feel about your own masculine qualities? would you do/think the same thing to/about them if they were a woman/queer person? etc

meet men with kindness & give them the benefit of the doubt

men, like anyone else, are people and not a monolith, the vast majority of them are perfectly lovely and safe to interact with and don't deserve your prejudice, they deserve to be treated as well as anyone else & are usually used to being treated significantly worse

include them in stuff & teach them skills they traditionally don't get to participate in

there are plenty of matriarchal skills that are hecking useful & not available to a lot of cishet men the way they are to women and queer people, ex. make-up, hair/nails/skin care, fashion, sewing/knitting/crafting, or even just like base social skills/presentability

value them

ex. show that you want for them to be alive, healthy, and happy; compliment them/their looks; (where applicable) express your attraction to them incl what abt them you're attracted to; etc

support them in their own self-liberation efforts

ex. emotions/mental health/self-worth, fashion/self-care, parenting/home-making, etc

respect their current limits & comfort zone

ex. if they're not/not yet comfy w something more extremely out of their comfort zone, don't push it, as it might discourage them; understand that certain things don't come to them as easily (yet) as they do to you

remember intersectionality as with all things

ex. don't forget that plenty of men have marginalised identities (mental health, disability, class, race, queerness, etc) and therefore are not the Image of Privilege you may make Men™ out to be; don't invalidate/erase transmascs' & queer men's claim to female gender role things/femininity in order to validate their manhood/masculinity; be mindful of different issues & stereotypes affecting men of different ethnicities; etc

[juniperkinglet]

📕Who is your all-time favorite author, and what makes their writing so special to you? 

🔖What quote from a book resonated with you deeply?

ty for asking!! (this got long oop)

Who is your all-time favorite author, and what makes their writing so special to you?

Oooooh it's hard to say... For many of my favorite books, I haven't gotten around to reading more from their authors, or those authors haven't published anything else. I do have a few current contenders though!

First is Lee Mandelo, author of Summer Sons. I entirely credit that book for getting me back into reading after many long years. I genuinely didn't know books like this could be published; books that delve into grief and depression in such a relatable way, into themes like toxic masculinity and classism from a queer & trans perspective, into protagonists who are far from heroes but are still treated as humans worthy of love and second chances. All featuring a lyrical gothic prose in line with the way I process my surroundings. Absolutely blew my mind, and made me feel like I wasn't alone during a very lonely period. And I wouldn't have heard of aftg or made this tumblr without it!

Second is horror writer Poppy Z. Brite (now Billy Martin). I just started reading his work, most of which was written in the 80s and 90s. I got a collection of his short stories that tore my entire heart out of my chest and spat on it (affectionate[??]), and then immediately bought two more of his books lmao. Currently working through Lost Souls. His writing and its themes are deeply disturbing in a visceral way that I wouldn't recommend to most people, and only with the disclaimer of... basically every content warning you can imagine. Not a gentle intro to horror!

I like the way his stories challenge me, even if it's a kind of challenging I can't take very often. I love his prose (more of that lyrical goth shit I adore). And I admire how, in many of those short stories in that first book, I would hope deeply for a happy ending for characters I'd just met, and was never any less shocked and devastated when I didn't get it. That takes skill.

Third is Pia Foxhall, aka not-poignant on tumblr. I had no idea how much their writing would affect me when I first stumbled across it, like... woah. And most of it uploaded completely for free on ao3!! (I did buy one of his romance novels, but since I'm not much of a romance enjoyer, it didn't grip me as much as his other work.)

The first story I read of theirs, and my all-time favorite, was Falling Falling Stars. I read half a million words of it in three days (not recommended) (canceled all weekend plans) (barely ate or slept) (don't regret but would not repeat). It was my first time reading a POV character who also had OCD and debilitating intrusive thoughts, and I can't explain how much that meant to me. Spending all those words with him ended up making me a much kinder person, to others and to myself. I had major shifts in my view of the world and humanity, all for the better, thanks to that story.

is my author type "transmasc dark fiction writer of deeply flawed queer protags that make me rethink my entire outlook on life"?? maybe so!

What quote from a book resonated with you deeply?

this is sooooooo hard there are so many!!! i'll limit myself to two.

"...Steve's even breathing, the breathing of a man at peace with himself and at truce with the world." -- from Angels by Poppy Z. Brite

It may not seem like a super hard-hitting quote, but it was for me. I gasped out loud and just stared at it for a long while before continuing on. That has become my goal in life. The world is a scary place, for everyone and especially minorities, and I struggle with so much bad brain stuff every day. Loving myself and the world is just too lofty of a goal that's always felt impossible for me. But being at peace with myself, and at truce with the world? That's attainable. I could get there, and it would be enough.

and then an aftg banger:

“Your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay. This is not news to you. But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive.”

So many lines to go crazy over in this series, but this is the one that always gets me. There's something oddly beautiful and comforting about hearing a character straight up say "Everything is awful and you won't get a happy ending, we both know that. But I'm going to protect you for as long as I can anyway."

It just gets me!! Even though Neil did get a happy ending, it certainly never looked like he would. And I love that Andrew stuck with Neil throughout all that, and didn't give him false platitudes or pretend his situation wasn't awful. It was all kinds of awful, and Andrew was someone with whom Neil could be honest about that, when he couldn't be honest about anything else.

[spoekelse]

About

- Kaj

-21 years old

- you may know me by my wizard name, “laevateinn”

- architect of cancred guile, contriver of plots, stager of shows

- he/him, han eller hen på norsk

- I take commissions! DM me to negotiate. I go based on how much time something is likely to take. I have an anime style, and a more realistic style. I also do animated pixel art, and can do landscapes and other elaborate backgrounds. If you want to donate to a good cause, provide me evidence of a donation, and I will make art for you that matches the amount donated.

-uses firealpaca for art

-my name (Kaj) is pronounced “Kai”, (rhymes with pie 🥧) as j makes a y sound in most languages

- I’m interested in the fantasy genre, politics, physics and cosmology, animation and art generally, violin and music generally, and languages

-main blog was [REDACTED] but I had to ditch it, as my paedophile stalker knows it and I don’t want her to know I’m alive. I also no longer support a lot of the stuff posted there. my new main is @spoekelser

-fablehaven blog is @certain-death-awaits

- I’m trying to stop being so self-loathing, so if you see me acting like I’m hot shit, it’s because I am

- I don’t actually think I’m undead, immortal, or anything else odd you see me talking about. I don’t have a pyromaniac archenemy called Emil. It’s a bit, I just like joking around.

- mbti: INTP-A/INTJ, house: slytherclaw, enneagram:8w7, Pisces, year of the Goat. I think all of of these “personality tests” are wrong and unhelpful. This is here so you can stop sending asks

Identity Politics Section

-bisexual, prefers women

-chronically ill and physically disabled; I use a cane and, on really bad days, a chair. I’m allergic to strong UV light, so I can’t really go outside much during the day. this all has affected my social life profoundly, so I’m a bit out-of-touch.

- I have severe mental health issues. This should go without saying, but I don’t recommend everything I do/say. I’m just commenting about my own life. You have to make your own judgements. I’m autistic, but I like that about myself, the mental illness aspects are what they are, but I like who I am.

-I suppose you could call me genderfluid. in the sense that I’m actually a guy most of the time, and am agender 10% of the time.

-northern European/southeast asian (culturally hoa vietnamese but genetically chinese/japanese it’s a long story) and white passing

- I was subject to some sexual trauma as a younger teen. I don’t owe you the story, but it was some paedo shit. Keep this in mind, as it colours my experiences. Don’t try to throw that “but what about the REAL survivors” shit at me, because I am a real survivor.

My Opinions

AKA the discourse section. This is here so you can leave if you’re uncomfortable with any of these, and so you know what to expect

-I’m an ace/aro inclusionist, if an intersex person says they’re a part of the queer community I think they deserve a place. I respect and’ll do my best to use neopronouns.

-I don’t see queer as inherently a slur- gay, homosexual, transsexual, etc are also used as a slurs, but they’re not inherently dirty words.

- I don’t like comparing types of oppression, especially within the trans community. It’s not productive. We all know transfems are hated by society, and we should know transmascs are too. Please go outside if you think either group doesn’t experience significant oppression, or either group is able to meaningfully benefit from oppression against the other group. This all said, it’s perfectly fine to express angst about feeling like others have it better than you, that they don’t “get it”, understand you or your struggle, that they’re overreacting to their issues. But it’s not always appropriate, and there’s a difference between feeling this and actually basing how you treat others on this.

- I am staunchly opposed to the modern state of Israel in its current form. I have person ties to the struggle of the Palestinian people, and have long held this belief. I do not think it is right to bother regular Jews about this. Same as it is not right to bother regular Muslims about atrocities committed by Saudi Arabia. If you can’t see the problem with doing either of those things, I can’t reason with you.

- My hot take on death and modern burial and embalming of bodies

- I’m neither an “anti” or a “pro-shipper”, but I don’t tolerate graphic depictions paedophilia or rape intended to be used by real-life perverts. It’s case-by-case. To me, there’s a clear difference between telling a story about abuse, and “shipping” an abusive relationship. That distinction doesn’t exist for everyone, so as a rule, I don’t really give a shit about “toxic” ships. No opinion. Just don’t make that shit glamorous to kids, like they did in Twilight. If the source material is children’s media, I don’t think that fan content normalising or glamourising abuse should be shared on the internet. Children theoretically can avoid seeing it, but they will see it, because of their own ignorance. I find RPF wrong because though a person can theoretically simply avoid reading it, they most likely will not.

- I have no opinion on kink. I don’t think I’m educated enough on the subject to have one. Obviously, consent is most important. But I don’t know what to make of more controversial kinks such as raceplay and ageplay. I support sex workers wholeheartedly. I believe the issue with sex work is present in any job under capitalism- which is to say, that capitalism is coercive in nature.

- I hate capitalism passionately, I’m a communist. I’m authoritarian leaning, but while I like Lenin’s writing, I don’t think Marxism-Leninism is the only answer, and I don’t support the CCP/PRC, the DPRK, or the former USSR. I don’t support the US government either, or (historically at the very least) NATO. While it’s true that I don’t support any of these governments, I think asking civilians if they do is reductive and pointless, as we lack the power to meaningfully “support” such a structure.

- I’m ok with being a fan of any media, as long as you’re not actively fueling the spread of negative influences. I’m going to judge you based on your actual opinions, not the opinions that exist in media you consume. (Basically don’t give money to J.K. Rowling) If a Twilight renaissance or Destiel are woke, we can have another season of Hetalia. Just don’t actively give the fuckers money, if you can avoid it. There are genuinely much worse things- if you’re paying for a tv licence in the UK, you’re paying for the transphobic BBC. If you’re buying Nestlé products, you’re supporting Nestlé. Those are near unavoidable. My take is that you should try your best to avoid it when you can.

Interests/Former Interests

Note: Obviously, just because I enjoy something doesn’t mean I approve of it or think it’s objectively good. A lot of these things are objectively bad, and I go so far as to refuse to pay royalties to their creator. A lot of these are interests from when I was like 12.

- Fablehaven, Dragonwatch, and Beyonders

- Genshin Impact

- Sword Art Online

- Jibaku Shōnen Hanako-kun

- Re: Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu

- Hetalia

- Death Note

- Saiki Kusuo No Psi Nan

- 2000s Barbie movies

- Kpop: Kingdom, LOONA, Tomorrow X Together, ENHYPEN, Dreamcatcher, The Boyz, Red Velvet, Victon, OnlyOneOf

- Myth &roid

-Hatari

-Kalafina

-ReoNa

-LiSA

-ASCA

-Malice Mizer

- Nightmare (the visual kei band)

- Miracle Nikki

- Hataraku Maou-Sama

- Erased/Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi

- Violet Evergarden

- Harry Potter

- Hyouka

- Kyoukai no Kanata

- The Talented Mr. Ripley

- Interview With The Vampire

- The Owl House

[shinmegamitensei2]

i was gonna sleep cus i’m tired as shit but then my brain started blaring some thoughts in my head so now i can’t sleep, so now you guys get to hear me ramble angrily about privilege and intersections of it on my blog instead

warning: this is extremely long and at points starts to sound like “pwease weave the poow twans men awone we did nofing wrong uwu” but i promise there’s a point somewhere in here about how we gotta start thinking about what we say has consequences

just... i get so angry when privilege is conflated to “if you have it, you have every single facet of it and you always benefit from it” when that’s really not the case at all, and to treat privilege as a single card that is separate from, and consequently unaffected by personal experience, other VISIBLE aspects of identity and individuality, and so forth is a really flawed way of thinking

the way i see most people explain or treat privilege is whether you have, say, a “privilege card” and the more you accumulate, the more privileged you are and thus the more benefits society offers you as a result of your status over another person (say, a white cis straight man is far more privileged than a black trans gay woman)

this is it, a simplification of privilege, easily digestible and easy enough to regurgitate to other people to get them to understand on an elementary level what it means to have privilege - when you have it, you have benefits over another person because society deems you better than another person

but then the conversation stops there. it stops, and this simplification becomes a hard and fast rule rather than the beginning of an educational moment, and suddenly we have concepts such as self-determination of your identity means you can gain and drop privileges as you change and determine WITHIN YOURSELF who you are, rather than what society deems you as

and therein lies the problem: how do you gain or lose privilege? how does the concept of passing privilege factor into all this? what does it mean to pass, or to not pass, and can privilege be bargained, can it only be half-gained or half-lost, can it change on a whim?

the only times i ever see this brought up, it’s by some asshat who’s got some shitty opinions or is trying to defend the privileged group wherein exchanges of power usually do not happen on the level i’m trying to discuss (re: race and a white person whose family is predominantly european-white, although there is a lot to be said about someone who is white but also comes from a mixed family and the way that privilege can also be bartered based on perceived appearance versus the reality) but what i really want to look into, specifically, is the bartering of privilege gained and lost through identification as trans, nonbinary, or another gender unrecognized by mainstream society

because, like... it’s here, i feel like, where passing privilege becomes its most prominent (as well as sexuality and the culture surrounding it that has crafted a persona, either influenced by or influencing [or both!!] by homophobic caricatures of the past and present) and where we need to start having discussions, serious discussions, about how one passes not only affects their privilege, but also that we cannot and should not treat people specifically based on what privileges or disprivileges we believe they should be experiencing in their day-to-day lives, because... it doesn’t work that way

there’s such a monumental difference between people at different stages of passing, and what information they have about them that is on the internet, or among their friends and family, or to their bosses and coworkers or if it gets leaked in ways they didn’t intend or want people to see or know

i AM going to use trans men in this example, being one myself, because i don’t intend to try and explain anything using experiences that don’t belong to myself so as to not misrepresent anyone, so i apologize that this comes off as being really whiny and “wahhh stop treating transmasc ppl badly” because a whole lot of trans masc and trans men adopt misogyny and absorb toxic masculinity in an attempt to become masculine, in a world where manliness is often defined by how much you can reject femininity and the constant attempts to redefine masculinity in a way that doesn’t allow male predators to adopt it solely to hurt women I’M GOING ON A TANGENT ANYWAY

there was a point i wanted to make here, and it was specifically on the idea that, like... you cannot ever, possibly, expect a trans man who is completely untransitioned and is seen, societally, as a woman, to own any amount of male privilege that makes any real difference where it matters aside from an online community wherein anonymity is valued, but also in said community where that information (that they are trans, whether or not they mention they are untransitioned) may be open and ENCOURAGED to be posted online for the sake of engaging in these conversations in the first place

as opposed to a trans man who is fully transitioned, has spent several years being accepted as a man, having absorbed ideas about masculinity that may make him indistinguishable from other men and nobody questions his status as a man, and all of this is STILL contingent on the fact that nobody knows or SHOULD know that he is trans, as once that information comes out on a platform where people feel empowered to challenge him (not only including the internet, but in real life, where it is common and encouraged for men to engage in violence, especially where bigotry is concerned)

as opposed to any trans men who may be in between, too! a man who is taking T, whose voice is changing over time and where his neighbors may catch onto what’s going on and grow suspicious; a man who takes strides to act masculine where he can, but who is stifled in an environment where he could be abused or killed purely on account of transphobia; a man who does not WANT to take the steps required for society to fully “recognize” him as a man, and so may never be able to fully participate in presenting the way he wants

this is all transphobia, full stop. not transmisandry or whatever weirdo terms ppl are coming up with these days, but there is a lot to be said in how transness AFFECTS male privilege, and how that male privilege may be adopted, absorbed, and enacted depending on the way that society recognizes men, maleness and masculinity

trans masculinity, and the state of being a trans man, is not an experience shared by every trans man. trans men are not all the same - some are trans nonbinary men, some transition, some do not, some adopt abusive techniques and toxicity that comes built into the system that tells us what being a man is and what being a woman is (although i could also argue that in a lot of ways, to be recognized as a man without having homophobia and transphobia and misogyny thrown at you constantly is to HAVE to participate in these systems, but alas)

there is a wide variety of difference in all of these people, and how they are recognized on a widescale manner that makes any shred of difference outside of this website - which begs another question! where does privilege travel? can it disappear or appear depending on where you are? where you go? can you have privilege on tumblr, but then have it vanish when you leave this website?

there’s a distortion, a way we talk about privilege and the privileged folk, that makes it so damn difficult to discuss the finer and more important details about privilege, intersection, and how privilege is not the same for everyone. it CANNOT be the same for everyone, because passing privilege is not yet another token given to people just to show that they have it! and privilege is not a set of cards and coins that come separately and totally irrelevant of each other!

a trans man is pelted by misogyny, homophobia, as well as transphobia when he does not pass. just as cis men are pelted with these ideas, so too are trans men. and yes, they are misguided. they hurt women and gay people more than they hurt men and straight people, this much should be obvious to anyone. but these things - they are STILL internalized, and how they are internalized changes depending on who is on the receiving end, and in many ways these things are markers and indicators of how to and how not to act for men

i wanted to keep going on about this point and i think i have more to say but my end point with all this is just that privilege changes power depending on where you are, who you are, and on a moment’s notice depending on what information people have a hold of, and i know i did a not-great job of explaining this but also i’m just venting so whatever

another thought occurred to me, about something i was thinking about earlier today, and it’s about how we talk about this concept, and how we approach privilege and privileged people and people whose privilege may variably change

obviously tumblr’s a bad place to be. it’s polarizing, because a lot of people use it as a place to vent, and there’s a lot of gross and nasty people here (including highly-privileged folk and fucking neo-nazis for fuck’s sake) and having long and meaningful conversations here is pointless because it’s drowned out by the obsession and need for having notes yet lacking a cohesive way to spread posts and all proper additions to that post without someone losing some form of context along the way

(that fucking, pewdiepiekin post goin around is one such example, since it’s apparently a joke that OP has but everyone’s treating it as fact, and like obviously it’s hard to tell sarcasm on this website given how much weird shit we’ve seen, but also that it’s FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE to correct such a misunderstanding BECAUSE of the very nature of tumblr itself, go figure)

but that’s also why i think we gotta have this conversation, this like... talk that we can’t keep talking about shit the way we have been, especially in regards to social justice and conceptualizing it for the younger kids who USE this website, and like... we just gotta have a different way of approaching things now, because the more i watch idle chats where people gleefully and openly post screenshots of others making fun of them for minor shit or momentary fuck-ups that could be easily ignored because the person is still learning (ESPECIALLY IF THEY’RE LIKE 14) and otherwise give themselves a free pass to become openly vicious and in the name of coping or to share amongst their friends how pathetic they view some people

like ok not to be a liberal and i’d rather not be classified as such because i don’t lick the boots of the privileged or pull any of that devil’s advocate shit but this extremely hostile environment we’ve cultivated and continually defend because we think this website creates ANY sort of meaningful difference in the world and anything we do on this website has any sort of meaningful impact that is beneficial to us while also openly encouraging behaviors that mitigate and deny growth and learning from mistakes is honestly kind of fucking scary

this is in no way saying giving a pass or go on behavior that directly spreads violence like saying slurs and whatnot, but we’re also so, so very fucking vicious, and at some point, no matter what reason you have for saying what you do, the consequence is that your words and intents get hijacked and used out of context in a manner that forms high hostility in the first place

and it’s so, so hard to talk about here too, without going “well if you hate men hurr durr it’s ur fault everything on this site sucks don’t openly say you hate your oppressors hurr durr!” like that’s such an easy trap to fall into but i don’t believe that either, even if i’ve grown distasteful of openly expressing “i hate cis men” (because they terrify me and could murder me at a moment’s notice, both for thinking i’m a woman and for finding out i am trans) or “i hate straight people” (because they fetishize my gayness and shit!) and etc

i’ve got so many reasons why i could express those thoughts, but should i do it, and on a regular basis, consequences follow. consequences that destroy my cultivated and intended reputation as someone who is open and friendly and kind, because it is difficult to really PROVE that to someone who may be on the fence from allowing themself to be deprogrammed from societal teachings and ingrained and taught transphobia and homophobia and misogyny and racism and so on so forth

and i know not everyone is like that. not everyone WANTS to teach and to provide the resources for that and to help deprogram people. most people just want to vent, most people want to escape from the daily abuse and fear and vent their frustrations. i get that. but then where do we go from there, when we have such an absolute volume of people doing and saying this exact thing, in such a degree that such a climate becomes normal to be reactionary and to react to any level of ignorance with anger, no matter who it comes from?

i’m being so, so vague here, and i really do not want it to come off as protection of the poor soft privileged or what the fuck ever, i genuinely do not. i guess i’m just describing a time in my life where i was like that, where i openly enjoyed mocking people that i thought were beyond reprieve and “saving” and getting into fights and it was such a nasty attitude to be in because it led to me throwing people out of my life, throwing caution to the wind, destroying my reputation online and getting put on places like r/tumblrinaction and potentially k.i/.w/i./f./a/./r./.m//s for my actions

living that way endangered me, and not just because of who i am. living that way destroyed me, and it destroyed my way of thinking, too. it destroyed my moral system, it encouraged me to dehumanize others. it encouraged me to find new ways to rationalize violence as a way of “vengeance” and “retribution” for the damages society dealt me, as if that was any rational and correct way of approaching this situation

anger has its place. anger has its place in destroying the system we have now and rebuilding a new one. but we need to understand that our actions, no matter how justified, still have consequences, sometimes extremely unintended, and even unwarranted that we didn’t deserve, and just... i dunno

there is no easy solution to this. i don’t believe we’ll get anywhere by being nice to everyone all the time, just as much as i don’t believe we’ll get anywhere by developing such a community-wide but aimless anger that we develop as hostile an environment as we have on this website

i don’t know what we need, but it can’t be this

[feminon]

The reason why the mindset “transmasc people suffer jst as much from misogyny if not more than cis/nb/trans women and therefore can speak over them with authority on misogyny because they sometimes ‘pass’ as women or are treated like women by cis people” makes so me so fucking uncomfortable is like. It almost always seems to have the extended meaning of “also trans women don’t stop benefitting from male privilege and start suffering from misogyny unless they ”“”“"pass”“”“/are out as trans women/unless i say so and ur an entitled fucking bitch if you try and tell me woman-aligned people have it worse than me and tht I need to check my own misogyny”

Being read as/treated as a certain oppressed group ≠ being just as oppressed in the exact same way as tht group

Straight cis men tht are read as “feminine”/“effeminate” don’t have it worse than actual gay men for the homophobia that’s levvied at them, bcz at the end of the day they can say “I’m Straight” While they may experience harassment from being “read” as gay, in every other aspect of their life (marriage, health care, social inclusion, media representation, etc) they benefit from being straight where an actual gay person does not (see also: str8 women who are read as gnc gay women/butch lesbians)

Gay cis men who do drag/act “feminine” aren’t the main target of transmisogyny, while they can experience harassment tht is rooted in transmisogyny, and they are in no way Privilieged in the same way tht a cishet man is, at the end of the day they can say “I’m a man”/“I’m not a trans woman”, they don’t experience the full breadth of transmisogyny tht trans women suffer under, and they contribute to it. (Just like! A cishet woman who dresses androgynous/masculine isn’t an expert on the transphobia trans men experience lol. She might still get shit for it, but thts an issue of misogyny/misdirected transphobia/lesbophobia more than anything else).

Being a trans man and being the target of harassment/stereotyping/being denied agency tht is rooted in misogyny is not the same as being oppressed as a woman/woman-aligned person.

Yes not being “out” as a trans men is a complex experience and I’m not ever claiming tht trans men walk thru life unscathed from misogyny because, it affects everyone, we live in a patriarchal society tht punishes Anything remotely associated w being “woman”/“feminine” - and not knowing that you’re trans/not having a space where you can be openly trans/a man online or otherwise means it certainly feels like thts all tht defines your experience.

But claiming tht trans men experience the same breadth of misogyny tht women-aligned people do - even in trans spaces, is harmful and opens up concepts like “trans men can’t harmfully wield misogyny like cis men do” “trans men are less privilieged than trans women for being ”“"socialized”“” female" “trans men are allowed to wield misogynous slurs and harassment unchecked because they are targeted w them in cis spaces”.

At the end of the day your identity As A Man, as A Male-Aligned person is consistently rewarded and considered superior in our society, whether this be through indirect affirmations you receive thru just existing as a male-aligned person, or being directly prioritised and allowed agency where women are Not in spaces where you pass/are out as a trans man.

Women-aligned people (gnc or otherwise) don’t get that satisfaction regardless of how they present.