#these questions are sparking my autism hardcore

[juniperkinglet]

📕Who is your all-time favorite author, and what makes their writing so special to you? 

🔖What quote from a book resonated with you deeply?

ty for asking!! (this got long oop)

Who is your all-time favorite author, and what makes their writing so special to you?

Oooooh it's hard to say... For many of my favorite books, I haven't gotten around to reading more from their authors, or those authors haven't published anything else. I do have a few current contenders though!

First is Lee Mandelo, author of Summer Sons. I entirely credit that book for getting me back into reading after many long years. I genuinely didn't know books like this could be published; books that delve into grief and depression in such a relatable way, into themes like toxic masculinity and classism from a queer & trans perspective, into protagonists who are far from heroes but are still treated as humans worthy of love and second chances. All featuring a lyrical gothic prose in line with the way I process my surroundings. Absolutely blew my mind, and made me feel like I wasn't alone during a very lonely period. And I wouldn't have heard of aftg or made this tumblr without it!

Second is horror writer Poppy Z. Brite (now Billy Martin). I just started reading his work, most of which was written in the 80s and 90s. I got a collection of his short stories that tore my entire heart out of my chest and spat on it (affectionate[??]), and then immediately bought two more of his books lmao. Currently working through Lost Souls. His writing and its themes are deeply disturbing in a visceral way that I wouldn't recommend to most people, and only with the disclaimer of... basically every content warning you can imagine. Not a gentle intro to horror!

I like the way his stories challenge me, even if it's a kind of challenging I can't take very often. I love his prose (more of that lyrical goth shit I adore). And I admire how, in many of those short stories in that first book, I would hope deeply for a happy ending for characters I'd just met, and was never any less shocked and devastated when I didn't get it. That takes skill.

Third is Pia Foxhall, aka not-poignant on tumblr. I had no idea how much their writing would affect me when I first stumbled across it, like... woah. And most of it uploaded completely for free on ao3!! (I did buy one of his romance novels, but since I'm not much of a romance enjoyer, it didn't grip me as much as his other work.)

The first story I read of theirs, and my all-time favorite, was Falling Falling Stars. I read half a million words of it in three days (not recommended) (canceled all weekend plans) (barely ate or slept) (don't regret but would not repeat). It was my first time reading a POV character who also had OCD and debilitating intrusive thoughts, and I can't explain how much that meant to me. Spending all those words with him ended up making me a much kinder person, to others and to myself. I had major shifts in my view of the world and humanity, all for the better, thanks to that story.

is my author type "transmasc dark fiction writer of deeply flawed queer protags that make me rethink my entire outlook on life"?? maybe so!

What quote from a book resonated with you deeply?

this is sooooooo hard there are so many!!! i'll limit myself to two.

"...Steve's even breathing, the breathing of a man at peace with himself and at truce with the world." -- from Angels by Poppy Z. Brite

It may not seem like a super hard-hitting quote, but it was for me. I gasped out loud and just stared at it for a long while before continuing on. That has become my goal in life. The world is a scary place, for everyone and especially minorities, and I struggle with so much bad brain stuff every day. Loving myself and the world is just too lofty of a goal that's always felt impossible for me. But being at peace with myself, and at truce with the world? That's attainable. I could get there, and it would be enough.

and then an aftg banger:

“Your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay. This is not news to you. But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive.”

So many lines to go crazy over in this series, but this is the one that always gets me. There's something oddly beautiful and comforting about hearing a character straight up say "Everything is awful and you won't get a happy ending, we both know that. But I'm going to protect you for as long as I can anyway."

It just gets me!! Even though Neil did get a happy ending, it certainly never looked like he would. And I love that Andrew stuck with Neil throughout all that, and didn't give him false platitudes or pretend his situation wasn't awful. It was all kinds of awful, and Andrew was someone with whom Neil could be honest about that, when he couldn't be honest about anything else.

[kwispayne]

The Top 10 Albums Of 2020

This year was shiiiiiiiit. Fucking covid 19 interrupting everything. I am so glad this was a great year for music. 

So in all, I didn’t hear much bad music this year. This was a great year for metal, so you will see alot of it in my top albums of this year. 

And as always, I didn’t hear every album this year, this is my person list and I counted anything released this year.

10. Idles - Ultra Mono

Genres: Punk, Noise Rock, Experimental Rock, Art Rock, Industrial Rock, Post Punk

Country of origin: England

Following up in my opinion one of the greatest albums ever made isn't an easy feat, but Idles have made a very interesting good attempt. Adding more experimental flare to their punk style with some of their most hard hitting riffs, it almost shadows the raging punk anthems throughout. Lyrically more angry and direct, this album is a leftist's wetdream. As an ensemble they are tighter than ever, and as always Joe Talbot's delivery is as unique and engaging as it can be. Following a masterpiece is hard, but this is an extremely good effort. So far, not a bad album has been made by this band and will more likely see my top 10′s each year.

9. Everything Everything - Re-animator

Genres: Art Rock, Art Pop, Indie Rock, Experimental Rock, Electronic

Country of origin: England

Of course these guys are going to be in my top 10. Usually they top it, but this album is a bit of a step down from their 2 recent masterpieces, but like Idles, these guys are putting an interesting foot forward. Stepping more into their pop and electronic shoes on this one, the album creates some of the bands most interesting sing alongs and even adds a bit of funk into certain places. Lyrically this album isn't as direct, but the tone of the album definitely is pointing towards the floorboards rather than the ceiling. And as always, Jonathan Higgs' vocals are the most unique in music at the moment.

8. Myrkur - Folkensange

Genres: Folk, Scaninavian Traditional

Country of origin: Denmark

Mykur grabbed my attention originally based on what it is. A one woman black metal project. Now her previous 2 efforts have increased with effort, but her previous album Mareridt showed more folk influence, and that mix really did intrigue me (this album was a hair away from the top 10 the year it was released). Now with this album is a completely different entity. Completely loosing the metal parts of her sound and just focusing on the folk elements really showed how much of a musical genius Amalie Brunn is. Compositionally this album has incredible moments of beauty and purity that I can only imagine exist on some sort of divine plane that we can only barely reach. This project just got a whole lot more interesting and the potential for the future is even more exciting.

7. Haken - Virus

Genres: Progressive Metal, Progressive Rock, Djent

Country of origin – England

Haken have always been a hair away from my top 10s for most years. In many ways as a band they are getting better and better with each release. Virus is very much their most focused release. It is very chaotic still, but it there is a certain organised chaos that they haven't tapped into before. Also the best thing about their recent  releases is that they're short and to the point. Musically the band are always on point, with the most impressive playing coming by drummer Raymond Hearne (this man is a programmable machine). And while the musically is incredibly complex, it doesn't sound overly manufactured, which is also a bonus. It’s also weird that they called their recent album virus...you know...pandemic and all that jazz.

6. Ensiferum - Thalassic

Genres: Folk Metal, Battle Metal, Power Metal, Viking Metal, Melodic Death Metal

Country of origin – Finland

Ensiferum are again another band who at times have been very close to my top 10's in the past but lost the list by a fraction. Folk metal to me only really interest me if the material is exceptional and there's something else to their sound. Now when it comes to the genre itself, they already are one of the best bands going, but now they've decided to add a new element to their sound, with new keyboardist and vocalist Pekka Montin who really adds a new diverse element to the band. Catchier chorus', more epic instrumental passages and Rob Halford power metal screams make this album a real standout to their discography and I hope this is a sound and element that these guys don't loose.

5. Avatar - Hunter Gatherer

Genres: Power Metal, Melodic Death Metal, Progressive Metal, Alternative Metal, Extreme Metal

Country of origin – Sweden

I recently just got into these guys, and why it took me so long, I'll never know. Their last album Avatar Country was very enjoyable, but it was just a few hairs away from my list (seems to be a pattern this year). Now the band are back, heavier, screamier and more succinct than ever. Musically these guys are very agile while showing off to fit the music rather than the spectacle. The real focus of this band has to be vocalist Johannes Eckerström, moving from operatic tenor to very unique screams and growls. The blending of the 2 styles has never been done so successfully. Material wise, the band bring forth their most to point material, and lyrically having a lot to say without it overclouding the enjoyablity factor. Can't wait to see what these guys have to show us next.

4. Caligula’s Horse - Rise Radiant

Genres: Progressive Metal, Progressive Rock, Art Rock

Country of origin – Australia

Getting into my list with their last album, In Contact was an amazing listen, even though I knew these guys had a lot more to prove to us. And this album is what I was expecting. A tightening of their talents and more focused material. The subtle blends of prog rock with the extra groove and bass, the band really are one of the groviest modern prog metal bands and have very beautiful arrangements at times too. But the biggest highlight of this band has to be vocalist Jim Grey, who I believe has provably the prettiest sounding voice in prog metal (if his voice was a man, I'd kiss it). Lyrically very poetic and beautiful, his delivery is like watching the best performance of Shakespeare's work put to music.

3. Pain Of Salvation - Panther

Genres: Progressive Rock, Experimental Rock, Progressive Metal, Art Rock

Country of origin: Sweden & France

Of course my list isn't not going to include these guys. This album is a bit of a harder one to get into from their discography. Musically this is not just unique to the band, but to most music I've heard before. Toning down the distortion, the album still keeps its metal groove, but with more of a percussion kind of bite with very complex rhythms provided by Léo Margarit, giving his most dynamic performances. Lyrically the album is what did it for me, it being a concept album about someone with autism. Daniel Gildenlöw has always been one of the most thoughtful and intelligent lyricists in metal, and this album just proves it, proving these guys are way more than a one trick pony.

2. Enter Shikari - Nothing Is True & Everything Is Possible

Genres: Post Hardcore, Electronic, Art Rock, Pop Rock, Alternative Rock

Country of origin – England

Their previous album The Spark just didn't do it for me. While I did enjoy a lot of it and respected it deeply, this band is always the best when there is a bit of bite behind their sound. And this album has a lot of bite, but it's also their most pop focused album to date. The hooks on this album are incredibly ear wormy and will stick in your head for a long time. Musically the band are just improving, mixing the rock and electronic sound with complete ease as if these 2 rival genres should always mixed. Lyrically the album is just as biting, with Rou Reynold's painting an apocalyptic future that is more present than ever in the face of this pandemic and being thrust forward into this new normal. This album just begs the question...why is Imagine Dragons doing a cheap rip off of what these guys have been perfecting for years, yet receive a million times more attention?

1. The Ocean – Phanerzoic II: Mesozoic | Cenozoic

Genres: Progressive Metal, Post Metal, Progressive Rock, Sludge Metal, Experimental Rock, Post Hardcore

Country of origin – Germany & Switzerland

For some odd reason, this band has missed me the past few years. Maybe I needed to be more mature towards post and sludge metal, but I finally bit the bullet and listened to part 1 and 2 of this mammoth double album project. Part 1 should have been on my previous year list, but I only got around to listening to it this year, but it did prepare me for this new release, which easily over shadows the previous. Musically these guys are everything I'm looking for. Powerful, beautiful and sounding free with incredible attention to detail. Robin Staps songwriting and presentation is outstanding, while lyrically painting a biological history lesson which will soon reflect our own destructive natures. Vocalist Loïc Rossetti gives the performance of his career, showing off a wide range of dynamics, from throat curdling screams and bars while his clean voice shows off amazing character and emotion. Also, the album again has guest vocalist Jonas Renkse giving possibly the greatest collaboration in his entire career. And now I am so glad I found these guys. I can't wait to dig deep into their other and hopefully future discography.