#and how he wolves down food in any version

[nade2308]

"I apologize. I have a low blood sugar."

"Excuse me?"

"I didn't eat this morning. I feel lightheaded. Could you get me something from the officer's mess? Sandwich, maybe?"

Apparently this is all versions of Jack.

@thethistlegirl @malewifebillcage

#Ijustfinditveryinterestingthatthisisobeoftheconsistenciesacrossallthreeversions

[yanderes-galore]

idea popped in ma head, maybe a wolf hybrid jack marston with a domestic dog darling? Rdr1 eiplouge

Sure! Here's the wolf that's making your farming life hell.

Yandere! Wolf! Jack Marston with Domestic Dog! Darling

(Hybrid AU)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Animalistic behavior, Stalking, Violence, Blood, Murder, Courting, Kidnapping, SFW smell kink, Mentions of mates, Threats, Forced relationship.

You're a domestic dog hybrid built for farming.

Since you were a pup/child you were raised by a human family who owned a ranch.

It wasn't an uncommon sight for humans to take care of domestic hybrids.

Cat and dog hybrids were the most popular.

Usually said hybrids are treated more like human children than pets.

Yet their animal characteristics often made them more capable for some jobs.

For example, since you were a pup you've been taught to herd animals.

You take care of cows, sheep, pigs, chickens...

You're often on guard duty to protect the animals, too.

You often saw your humans as family since you were a stray at one point in time.

Now you often follow them everywhere, even helping them sell supplies made at the ranch for extra money.

As you're often on guard duty, your humans have taught you how to use firearms.

You're quite the shot and have always defended the ranch with your life.

Nowadays your folks have gotten old, often needing you to help out.

They've told you when they go... The ranch is yours to care for.

You've always promised you would protect this place... it's your home, after all.

You don't typically encounter hybrids often.

Occasionally when you go down to town you'll see a cat or dog...

Yet you've never seen any wild hybrid.

You've seen normal wolves and coyotes.

Yet you've never seen hybrid versions.

The scent is always different from them... Even when they're in a mostly animal form.

You can just smell... human in them.

When you met Jack, you saw him as a threat.

He's a wolf hybrid... yet even you can tell he's oddly domestic for a wolf.

Which is true.

Jack was originally more domestic than your typical wolf.

The most wild he's been was when he was a pup, still cared for by his two wolf parents.

Yet his father was soon hunted like the wild wolf he is... right after the law used him to hunt a bear, a coyote, and finally an infamous panther.

For a while Jack lived with his two wolf parents and a sloth he viewed as an uncle.

Yet at least a year ago, all of that came crashing down.

Now all he's called family are dead.

Leaving him to go back to his roots, to be wild like the wolf he is.

Jack has always been depressed since losing his pack.

The life he now walks is quite lonely.

That is until he came across your ranch.

Your interactions were often from afar.

You two smelled one another, recognizing the scent as another hybrid.

You were always on edge when you smelled the wolf.

Meanwhile, when Jack caught your sweet scent...

He couldn't help but be curious about you, the rancher dog he often watches as he stalks about your home.

I imagine the obsession is gradual, just two hybrids watching each other from a distance.

Maybe Jack originally intended on stealing a chicken or sheep for food...

Only to find he's becoming enamored with the hybrid that lives at the farm.

Jack might test how close he can get, carefully stepping closer to see when you'll bark at him.

He may even get as close as the fence to try and start a conversation between you two.

He'll lean on the wood, tail swaying as he tries to make you speak with him.

For a long time you ignore him or give him threats.

Yet since he comes around so often, you eventually give him brief answers to entertain him.

Admittedly, as long as he stays where he is, his company is nice.

Your chats are often behind a fence, Jack promising to stay where he is just to speak with you.

You told one another your names... and Jack can't stop saying your name to himself when he's alone.

Occasionally, after feeling bad for the lone wolf, you may even sneak meals out to him.

Unfortunately, it's like feeding a wild animal... he only comes back for more.

Once you've entertained him the first time, the wolf stays.

He talks about how he used to help run a ranch... How you and him could probably do some farming yourself someday...

Without humans.

Jack finds you being domesticated amusing.

You're such an adorable puppy compared to him, a wild wolf.

Most of the time you two speak in your partial human forms.

But imagine you both in full animal forms?

You're laying on the grass in your dog form, resting...

Only for a familiar howl to occur, and a brown wolf stares at you with eager eyes.

This pairing actually makes a lot of sense, too.

Since wolves and dogs are compatible for breeding... if you know what I mean.

Jack may actually bring this up, usually leading to you ignoring it.

You aren't interested in a wolf hybrid like THAT.

But Jack is.

He finds the idea of making a domestic dog hybrid his mate pleasing.

He's been lonely for a long time on the run...

He needs a pack of his own.

Won't you help him find a new family?

You often refuse, which often makes Jack more eager.

He often prowls around your home, watches through windows...

He's always hated the fact you let humans take care of you instead of other hybrids.

You should've known Jack would be trouble.

Like a loyal dog, you left home to get supplies for your folks at home.

Which can end in two ways, depending on the honor of Jack.

If he's low honor, fitting of a wolf, you'd come home to a bloodbath.

Some of your animals are mauled, claw marks in their skin with bite marks bleeding.

You quickly enter your home, overwhelmed with the smell of blood.

Only to see your humans dead, their blood leaking into the wood.

You stare, nose assaulted with the smell of crimson as your ears and tail are down.

Then you pick up the smell of a wolf... yet not quite a wolf...

"Sorry, darling... All of this was getting in our way. Now with all this gone... I can court you properly yeah?"

Jack's behind you, blood on his claws, mouth, and clothes...

He looks happy with what he's done.

His tail is even wagging... while you stare at him in fear.

Even if you ran out as your dog form, how long can you go before the wolf catches you?

When Jack asks you to come with him... to run before you're framed...

You reluctantly listen.

High honor Jack instead leaves your family and farm alone.

He simply cuts you off between town and your home, sabotaging you on your horse if you're on one...

Or tackling your dog form as his wolf one.

This time he's not harming your family... yet he threatens you to come with him.

Either option ends in Jack kidnapping you.

One just so happens to end in more bloodshed.

Jack doesn't really have a den or anything.

He essentially makes you an outlaw like him, making camps in the wilderness and keeping you beside him.

While you don't see him as one... Jack always calls you his mate.

When you two camp, he only makes one tent.

Sometimes you two sleep beside one another as your more human forms, Jack's tag constantly wagging as he nuzzles and scents you.

Or if you're both in animal form, his larger wolf body curls around you, licking your fur softly as he looks after you.

Jack teaches you how to be a wild hybrid.

Poor you is so confused... but Jack's patient and often hunts for you.

In fact, he likes you reliant.

You should rely on your mate....

Jack originally feels guilt for forcing you beside him... yet he still feels like this was the right decision.

Now Jack doesn't feel alone... Just you two may not be a pack, but you're close.

He loves your scent and soft fur... he loves you.

He'll make sure you two are never alone when you have each other...

Meanwhile, as a domestic hybrid, you just miss your old home....

[allwormdiet]

Sentinel 9.6

Well.

At least we're not as fucked as Brockton Bay.

"Ugh, how dare crime be prevented so I can't beat the shit out of the people doing the crimes for my own catharsis" - sentiments of the utterly normal

This glimpse into the inner workings of these two has not endeared me to them any further, tbh. I think the time in which they can actually turn these impressions around is starting to dwindle.

So. Here's Sophia's worldview laid plain, and it's about what I expected. Might makes right, violence and desperation and greed are the true nature of humanity, everyone can be divided between sheep and wolves and she refuses to be a sheep.

Mostly I think I'm just curious as to what, exactly, shaped her to be this way. Like obviously whatever caused her to trigger is a factor, but I don't know if any parahuman has had a complete overhaul of their personality brought about by their power coming online; I suspect that she'd followed some version of this mentality before the worst day of her life (so far) proved her right.

I can't imagine Piggot would be thrilled that Shadow Stalker thinks so highly of her, or at least the why of it.

This is cool, though. Give Wildbow credit, he can make just about any sensation of using a power sound rad as hell.

*sighs* Fucking Nazis

At least Sophia is sensible about what to do with them

Another neat fight scene, this one is a bit quicker than the Travelers tussle so I kinda like it more. That and it involves beating the shit out of Nazis.

Ruh roh Raggy

hiimdaisy_adachi_murder.mp3

Oh yeah, why eliminate the villain who you know is a particular threat to you, specifically, when you can try to torment her first?

This isn't even me saying that Sophia should try to murder Skitter, bc obviously I prefer the latter to the former, but taking the whole thing of seeing her secret identity into consideration, the response to crossing paths should be "take her down fast and hard," not "put her back against the wall and make her panic"

It's gonna fucking break her brain when she realizes Taylor is Skitter, huh?

There's something really funny about how basically every outsider POV we've gotten on Skitter involves hating her ass. Truly cursed to be unpopular.

I like the logical weaknesses of Sophia's power so far. Things getting into her shadow form, like bugs, fuck with her ability to remanifest because she has to "shove" them out of where she's going to solidify. The electricity I'm less clear on, maybe just some quirk of what she's "made" of in her altered state, but it's a good way to explain why she can't just leap through buildings willy nilly. The thing with the gas/vapor absorption that gets mentioned in a second also makes sense and is pretty neat.

Hey Sophia do you maybe regret playing with your food a little bit

Also still cool to see Skitter's powers from the outside POV

God that's so cool

...Y'know, if these two could get over their bullshit for like, a minute, they could probably have some very cathartic hate-makeouts. More blood than normal for kissing but less blood than normal for their usual interactions.

Lol

Lmao

Nuts that what threw her off in this moment was looking for a secondary murder weapon to cover up her power's tell.

Also: get fucked Sophia.

And you fell for it hook line and sinker, because you're a petty tunnel-visioned sadist.

Got the whole crew doing the group pose, love to see it

Also: hi Aisha, glad you get to join the team, sorry you had a trigger event, hope the future scenes with you are less uncomfortable than your first one

Skitter is so fucking good at playing up the villain role, she really should be proud of the work she puts into it.

Not entirely sure why they're kidnapping Shadow Stalker, but I'm sure it's going to be another photo album moment for the Undersiders and their rise to prominence.

Concluding Thoughts

Y'know, a lot of trouble could've been avoided if Sophia just ignored that impulse to play with her prey. I'm not gonna be like "oh why can't she just rein in the violence" because every parahuman we've met so far is either a participant or facilitator of violence, but the cruelty is what's gotten her in trouble here. Not only did she only get baited into this trap because she refused to make an earlier attempt at the killing blow, not only did she take the bait of hunting down a lone villain while a PRT convoy was under attack by fucking Nazis, but the hostility might have been avoided if she hadn't gotten her kicks from tormenting and assaulting Taylor. If Sophia was just Emma's friend who hung back and watched as she tormented Taylor, things might've differently all the way back in the medical tent, but alas, she was a willing and gleeful participant.

Little concerned about what the fuck they're going to do to her, but there's nothing to do but wait and see.

Also, cautiously glad that Imp has arrived, she seems fun from what I've picked up via osmosis, again fingers crossed that her continued presence in this story doesn't involve nearly as much wincing as Tangle 6.3 because holy shit.

[steakosaur]

As an expanding of previous post about how fucking confusing Luffy is, if only because of the languages he speaks, which are extremely random for a seventeen-year-old pirate from a lost corner of the East Blue :

On the Strawhat crew, you don't ask questions about the others' pasts, that's the most important unsaid rule. You can ask about the crew though, so Robin, between the events of Thriller Bark and Sabaody, decides to get to know the others better, as well as the mechanics of the crew, especially those of the Romance Dawn trio and East Blue group.

Her investigation begins backwards, from Sanji, to Usopp, to Nami, to Zoro, to Luffy.

From Sanji, she gets the story of how their captain destroyed part of the Baratie, worked there for a single day, encouraged a fight between Hawkeye and Zoro, as he himself fought against one of the big shots in the East Blue, some armoured guy with an enormous fleet who couldn't survive Paradise.

Usopp tells an unusually under-romanced story about this ex-pirate turned butler who was planning on killing his lover Kaya for her money, and how Luffy and Zoro saved them all from the tall butler with poops drawn onto his tailcoat.

Nami tells her about meeting Luffy and Zoro in Orange Town, planning on robbing them dry for a map to the Grand Line, escaping Buggy the Clown, fleeing by herself to go back to Arlong and hopefully buy back her village, Luffy freeing her (she got to wear his hat, Robin notes with attention).

Zoro grunts about a planned execution in a Marine base, something about killing wolves and eating sugared rice balls, and, the most surprising of all, how Luffy, accompanied by the small pink-haired Marine they saw on Water Seven, seemed to know about him beforehand and deliberately wanting to recruit him (he's the only one of them Luffy got out of his way to specifically recruit before even meeting them).

Luffy's story makes less sense. Robin can't get him to tell where exactly he'd been sailing from, and tales of getting sucked into a whirlpool and meeting a big pirate lady are overlapped with descriptions of foods he got to eat and bugs he got to see on his way from wherever his native island is to the Marine base he found Zoro in. With how thick his accent is, she hoped to pin down his island, but the only other time she's heard it was in Vice-Admiral Garp's mouth, and she also doesn't know where he's from further than the East Blue.

Before she can get any more specific, toeing the line of prying, they get to Sabaody and Robin can't ask anymore questions.

What she gets to see and hear on the archipelago doesn't help : with this place being a gathering point for travelers and merchants from all seas, every languages known to her and some she doesn't know are spoken. Her Eastern crewmates struggle a bit, only knowing their native tongue and the most basic version of Grand (even if Zoro's accent hints to him speaking something else entirely, and by having been born in the North Blue Sanji understands one specific Northern dialect, even though he managed to erase all traces of it from his accent), but Luffy gets the strange Grand variation that points to a pirate having lived in the New World, and the vague noble they cross paths with, he can decipher their stuck-up tongue and posh accent, which surprises her a lot.

The New World Grand she can pin down to Luffy having spent, from her understanding, quite a bit of his formative years alongside a New World crew, Shanks' one.

The noble tongue, she can't link to anything. There's nothing that associates Luffy and the nobility, especially with who his father is. She tried asking the others about Ace, who could have given some type of hint, but all the feedback she gets on him is about how polite he was towards them, how affectionate towards Luffy, and how strong towards the Marines.

When Luffy punches the Celestial Dragon at the auction house, she can see that even if the fact that he wanted to buy their friend Camie infuriated him, that punch seemed a bit too personal, only adding to the mystery : why does Luffy speak a noble tongue if the Celestial Dragons are the only people Robin's seen him hate on principle ?

[lazziva]

The yandere Mafia boss with white hair is so pretty!😣 But that does have me coming up with a few questions about him. First, what are his likes and dislikes? Second, is there a certain reason as to why he prefers a liquid diet over a regular diet? Was he born with a certain condition or something? And finally my last question, is he by any chance related to the other yandere Mafia boss with black hair? Or is that just like his previous design?🤔

Hi!! I got a bit too excited and prepared stuff, so it took a while to answer! First, I'll get into the lore. He prefers a liquid diet because he's 'bonded' with butterflies! In this universe, we have people who, since birth, have shown special characteristics resembling those of a specific animal or tied to it. For now, we have Lazzi (me!! my vtuber child!!), her adopted brother from the first post, RHM, and our French mafia boss.

In the French mafia boss case, his "resembling" characteristic is flat teeth that force him to choose foods he doesn't have to bite much (since butterflies are insects, they can't even bite and feed on nectar). His "Tied to" characteristic would be being able to control butterflies. As for why some people are born this way... Characters have some ideas, but nothing is set in stone!

(Lazzi and RHM have baby and adult version!) When it comes to his likes and dislikes... His hobby is making elaborate domino effects, especially those that start small and grow in size to resemble the butterfly effect. As a pastime, he relaxes in a garden made specifically out of poisonous plants, an assurance that no one disturbs him and he can enjoy some quiet with his butterflies. He prefers sweet things, sweet tea, teeth-rotting cakes, preferably the blood he drinks should also have sugary aftertaste. His darling should be disgustingly adorable too. One of the things he loathes the most would be himself, or rather fate he was forced into. He hates he got mixed with butterflies, the symbol of fragility. Although he grew to enjoy the underhand methods, the charm, the assassinations, the poisoning... how he wishes he resembled likes of tigers, wolves, and bears - showing brutal strength instead of holding power over people with his allure. The thing he hates ties to the other thing he loves - treating those stronger than him like the animals they are. Caught a hawk bonded man? Feed him rats. A wolf bonded woman got in his way? Let's see if a cage and raw meat will bring out the beast she truly is. Bringing down those that, by nature, should overpower him makes his life a bit brighter. Oh, and the black-haired mafia boss ended up being blond! (see the first pic), I really need to come up with codenames for them :') For now I don't have any ideas for relation between them, I need to figure out the timeline. Thank you for sending an ask!!

[emeraldhaven]

Remember Me - A SongV Fic

"You took me from all my friends. Just make sure you don’t become my enemy.”

So Mi remembers the moment she left Brooklyn like it was yesterday, a memory creeping across her mind like a freshly cut scar. Her time with the FIA may have taken her life, her humanity, but it could never take that moment from her, even if her memories were fading.

She remembers the looks on her friends faces when they laughed; when they cheered; when they cried. She remembers the exact layout of her apartment, the way the rug was threading at one end, lint covering the edges. She remembers how the sun looked over the waters of New York City as it reflected off of the glistening river; golden rays of sunlight cascading down the walls of her home.

She remembers the piercing red of the Blackwall. She remembers the cold darkness after being pulled out of a netrunning attempt, shivering and sweating, mind racing because of what she'd felt and heard and seen. She remembers the concerned looks on her friends' and lovers' faces when she told them about what she'd done; about how she'd done it.

She remembers Reed; how he showed up, offering a job she couldn't refuse. How he looked her in the eye and promised her, eyes darting around her small apartment in false hope.

"I won't. I promise."

"It's eating me, V. My memories, my experiences, my life. And I can't stop it."

Songbird doesn't remember the first time she had a birthday party. She doesn't remember the taste of real food unmarred by the metal in her head. She doesn't remember how real human flesh feels to touch exactly, electrical signals imitating every single second. She can't remember what it felt like to hug her friends, not anymore.

She doesn't remember her family - her parents, her grandparents, her cousins and aunts and uncles. Their faces are blurred mysteries, in fact, she's not even sure some of them even existed in the first place. No family dinners, or day trips to the beach, or hikes across upstate New York exist in her mind, lost to time or the Blackwall.

She wishes desperately that she could.

The FIA might treat Songbird like "family" - a cold, distorted version of one. Twisted by duty, loyalty and an unwavering faith to themselves. Does family stab each other in the back, hurting unlike anyone had ever hurt people before? Does "family" give people the right to treat her like scrap metal, to use and abuse and throw away when they don't care about her anymore?

Reed might think he's her colleague, her mentor, her friend; but she knows that at any moment, he'd throw her to the vicious wolves as soon as she made any wrong move in President Myer's eyes. Those cold, focused eyes. The eyes of someone who would rather kill than be killed.

Songbird's death will be on her hands; and she'll be annoyed to destroy yet another asset.

"Thank you, V. And I'm sorry... for everything."

Song So Mi remembers everything about V. Her eyes, sharp and forest green, a colour rarely seen in America anymore. A verdant twinkle in her eyes whenever she solves some problem, or thinks of a witty quip to call So Mi out with. Her hair, shaved on one side and long and red on the other, her cyberware continuing from those beautiful eyes through to an external neuralware cyberdeck intergration port. Her stance - one of power and confidence yet marred with the subtle yet noticeable lag of a body weary from combat and time and some other, purposefully-unnamed factor. V's jacket - an antique to be sure, but just so very V, the way the jacket speaks to her personality and ideals, the gleaming crystal blue of the collar illuminating her neckline and enticing Song's eyes up towards her jaw...

So Mi blinked, blushed and looked away over her shoulder. She hasn't felt this way in a long, long time; possibly ever. She doesn't believe that she's in any league close to V, that V wouldn't even give her a second thought; that she isn't worth it. Yet, no matter what happens or has happened, V looks her in the eye, hand on her shoulder, her cheek, her own hand and says:

"I trust you."

It's an affirmation, something barely notable in its own right - something standard and normal and supposedly frequent. But it's been a long time since anyone has actually said that to So Mi, even longer since somebody ever meant it. No, this is said with heart and character and trust from a woman so wonderous, so incredible that every situation she's involved in is seen as a spectacle - a woman who has done impossible things in impossible situations and has impossibly survived. Somebody who is worth the world but shall receive indifference from the city that tries to kill her daily. It's an affirmation - that's sure enough - but from V? It feels like a blessing.

And Song So Mi will never, ever forget her.

[chirpybirdy]

eugene sledge agrees to be turned into a werewolf so he can fight in ww2

technically sledgefu fic because duh they are adorable

------

It's just as meaningless as it had been when he was declared 4F but changeable. "You're changeable, son. The bite hurts, sure. Any bite would." That bite had hurt, and lasted what seemed like ages. Eugene had gripped the edge of the counter. Determined not to move and he had managed not to move. A woman had bit him. To be quite honest they hadn't needed to assure him that the mask and the pill would prevent her from claiming him. Nice, but unnecessary. It took the first time, so he didn’t have to go through it again. He got the next part done in one try, too.

The boat over had sucked. He couldn’t tell you how many unmated werewolves there were on the damn boat. None of them could, it was unbearable. All of them ready to fight, all of them outnumbered, all of them promised not a pack but one single man. Some guys muttered about biting a nurse and no one took kindly to that. Some guys contemplated biting a sailor, but that was asking for a cage.

Eugene found it easy to listen and let the pity and the self-pity wash over him. His heart murmur was gone. He was decent in hand-to-hand. He would die using his unreal senses to save the life of a man still human.

They are let off on Pavuvu. Told to stay put, but not ordered. Their first order is to claim—and that is a science without exactitude. They enter the camp like two hundred stray dogs freed from the pound at once. They see no difference in the cage or the tents. It is only new scents, and new scents after too long with no new scents. Eugene finds sudden comfort in the men around him. He sticks with them, the crowd of two hundred slimming down at first down to fifty, then to twenty, then to five, and then to three. Roaming in vague directions with more interest in food than anything.

Eugene won’t remember taking control of their direction.

Eugene yanks upwards and Snafu snaps his legs around his hips and Eugene is pissed Snafu thinks he would ever fall.

Pissed as he is, Eugene’s corporal is the one who snarls. "Nobody forced you, Sledgehammer!"

"Yeah?" Eugene grabs his ass. Feels the rough and torn cloth shred under the gentle lacerations of his nails. He will have to get him a new pair. "I fell anyway, didn’t I, Snafu!?"

Dragged back to awareness of the tent he had chosen, Eugene shook his head to clear it—felt like he’d just been given some information that changed everything. His head struggled to accommodate two versions of a man. Two versions, both under his hands. Alright, fine.

He announces to no one, “him.” Eugene had refrained from acting like an animal but it was a matter of time, they had all supposed. He walks in a line so straight a crow would envy it and meets his soldier. Outranks him but they all do. Smells like dead werewolf but they all do. “Hey.“

His corporal, still a lieutenant, smirks, “Hey. Ready to die for me, milk teeth?”

Eugene’s nostrils flare, “As I’ll ever be, I suppose.”

“That right?”

Some wolves get right to it, Eugene learns, and some feel the need to take things somewhere private. It doesn’t mean much to them after the bite; however, the bitten tend to remember and tell the story. In the same way Eugene remembers holding the counter, and the gum that had been stuck under there, Snafu remembers what Eugene did when he claimed him.

Eugene had assumed, when it came down to it, it was meaningless.

[cloudninetonine]

They laid in wait, they had to be.

You had long since stopped trusting any and all faces that milled about small towns and large villages. Every person you had trusted had stabbed you in the back, each and every one ratting you out.

You’ve learned in your solitude that there are two different ‘versions’ of your boys, neither of which promised anything good.

On one side there were your heroes, but villains. The Ganons cited these ones often as cruel, malicious in every action, and it was true. They had lied and deceived you multiple times, and you had seen firsthand their lack of remorse for the populace. They were bottom of the barrel, you knew this, but… it was hard to hate the same face you loved.

They were your first ‘lesson’ in this backwards world.

On the other side were the… the creepy ones. They were like your heroes: having all their items, same history, and relatively the same life. However… they were… wrong. They had developed this… what you could only call obsessive nature towards yourself. It was possessive and dark, twisted and foul, they were just as terrifying as their villain counterparts. They more easily got away with tricking you because of their closer similarities to your boys, something that had gotten you into a pickle a number of times.

And they usually started in crowded areas, just like this one.

Both sets of Links had an iron lock on your location at what felt like all the time, everywhere, that or them knowing the Hyrule country like the back of their hand. It was jaw dropping how many times they had tracked you down, your party barely stopped moving.

So, you were just a bit cautious of progressing into the village to get supplies. You wished you had gone to those little training camps as a kid, where they taught children how to live off the land and find the best shelter. You sighed, cursing your child self for being to caught up in Nintendo games.

You clung tightly to Nat’s garbs, cowering behind his tall frame while darting your eyes to every man, woman, and child like they were hungry wolves.

“Come on (Name), we won’t be here long, I promise. We got the food and just need potions, alright?” Nature whispered, pulling you just that little bit closer. You nodded against his thigh, letting yourself sink into-

Fi thrummed heavily on your back, you froze, stopping in place. Nature halted his movement and looked back at you worriedly. “(Name)?”

Fi hummed again, the shimmer warmer, tears welled up in your sockets.

You had activated her dowsing ability when you first remembered it was a thing, and the thing you had her set to?

Each and every one of your heroes.

“(Name)?” A watery voice whispered from behind you, surprised and hopeful-

You darted away, Nature crying out in shock as he tried to search for you over the crowd. You pushed through the mass of people as quick footsteps followed you.

Instinct crushed all reasoning, the only thing on your mind was get away get away get AWAY-

A vegetable stand stood in your path, the people manning it ducking with a scream as you lunged over the produce. You fell to your knees before pushing yourself back up and continuing your pace.

You had to get out of town and away for Nat, he’d be in danger no matter which version of whatever Link it was, and the town would suffer if they tried to protect you from the villain versions out of goodness.

You found yourself zipping into an alleyway between houses, only to skid to a stop at the tall, brick wall that greeted you. You went to turn around only to stop to him.

Hyrule.

The traveler held his hands up, “(Name)! Calm down, it’s me, you see? I’m not going to hurt you.”

Your eyes scanned the walls to see if there was any escape but-

“Don’t you remember? Do- did you lose your memory as well? I’m not sure how exactly we could restore that-“

Wait…

“-It was different for all of us, so for you it could be anything. Goddesses, we haven’t even gotten your memory of before back and now we need to find yours of the after?” A laugh, solemn and almost empty. “And we used to think it was the champion with memory issues, not how we were wrong!”

Neither of the chains had memory issues regarding you, except for… for-!

You lunged forward, wrapping your arms around Hyrule- your Hyrule- with fierce abandon. He yelped in surprise, almost falling to the floor from your force.

He clung to you like you did him, slowing bringing the two of you to the ground. “Goddesses! You got stronger since you left, huh?” A loving chuckle, “Almost knocked me over-“

He stopped as a sniffle slipped out of you, his attempt at gentle comfort halting. You clenched your fists in the fabrics of his green tunic (green, it was green, not red with blood-), finally letting yourself sob into him.

“Hey- hey! It’s alright, I got you, I got you…” The traveler rocked you gingerly in his arms, letting sweet fairy magic wash over you.

Your mental walls finally collapsed. Sobs turned to wails, you cried as you buried your snot covered face into his chest.

Those fucking doppelgängers were good at hugs and fake comfort, sure, but they could never beat this.

—

Ahshbsns ah, this isn’t that good and kinda rushed, but I had an idea and couldn’t rest till it was written.

Player runs into our OG boy Hyrule in the mess au after a bunch of shut goes down.

…But is he the real Hyrule…?

(He is, I’m just messing with you)

EVERY TIME YOU SEND IN SOME MASTERPIECE OF WRITING I TRANSCEND INTO THE NEXT DIMENSION IN PURE HAPPINESS THIS WAS AN AMAZING READ, THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN BB

PLAYER HAS RULIE BACK TOO! I MISS MY POSITIVE FAIRYTALE SO MUCH!

[rockyroadsmith]

Could you do a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood with Hare as Red, Tiger of the wind as the hunter, Genki as the Grandma, Holly as the wolf, Mocchi as Red's little sibling,Suezo as a con artist and Golem as Little Red's Father?

Wow, this one was tough since there’s so any versions of this story! When I saw the story request, I immediately expected Tiger to be the wolf, so it was a surprise to have Holly be the wolf! This will be a challenge for certain, but I’ll do my best! For the doodle, I tried to make the trees look like the corny cardboard ones found in school plays. XD

Once upon a time, there lived a rock giant who had two sons; one a rabbit monster with a fetish for wearing red-hooded cloaks who also liked to call himself “Little Red Riding Hood” and the other a simple-minded pink penguin-like monster. How this family even came to be was a mystery to all, but no one cared enough to ask questions.

Just like usual, Golem prepared a basket with something for their beloved Grandma to eat, and he happily handed the basket to Hare to take. The red cloak-wearing monster blinked.

“Hey, dad, why are you giving this to Grandma again?” Hare asked while peering down into the basket, where a single fist-sized rock sat at the bottom.

“It is for… a snack…” Golem smiled proudly.

“But… Grandma can’t eat these…”

“Grandma is just… being a picky eater… right now…”

Hare shrugged, accepting the answer.

“Still, why do I have to be the one to deliver it? I’ve heard rumors that a wolf has been hanging around the forest that Grandma lives in! It’s dangerous!” Hare scowled.

“You know Mocchi… would not last… five minutes in… the woods… and he would… get lost…” Golem pointed over to Hare’s little brother just as Mocchi fell off his chair and began to spin in a circle on the floor like a total dumbass.

Hare sweated.

“I guess so. Why don’t you go then?” the rabbit monster asked.

“Are you crazy?! A wolf has been… spotted out there…! It’s dangerous…!” Golem gulped nervously.

“Then why do you have me going out there then?!”

Golem shrugged.

After sulking, Hare left his family’s house and started the trek into the woods to get to Grandma’s house with the basket in hand.

Up ahead, a brunette wolf girl sat against a tree and sighed as her stomach grumbled from hunger. Her tail wagged with anticipation, and she looked up tiredly at the sky.

“Oh, goodness, how can my luck be this bad? There has to be some food around here somewhere!” Holly moaned.

Holly’s wolf ears suddenly perked up as a newcomer approached, and her eyes lit up at the sight of Hare carrying a picnic basket. Talk about good timing!

‘Oh, how lucky! I wonder if this guy would be willing to share his lunch with me?’ Holly thought hopefully to herself.

Hare marched down the dirt path, still a little annoyed about his father literally throwing him to the wolves, and he froze in his tracks as the wolf girl approached him with a wave of her hand.

“Good morning! I hate to ask, but do you have any food to spare?” Holly asked inquisitively.

Without missing a beat, Hare reached under his red cloak, whipped out a small bottle, and proceeded to pepper spray the shit out of the wolf girl.

“STRANGER DANGER!” Hare shouted as he continued to spray the newcomer.

“OH PHOENIX, MY EYES!” Holly screamed in pain and curled up in a ball on the ground.

Once he finished using the entire canister of pepper spray, Hare threw it at the wolf girl’s head and took off down the road like a bat out of Hell while screaming “GRANDMA!” the entire way.

“O-oh, Phoenix… what an asshole…” Holly whimpered while wiping her sore eyes, and a surge of fury filled her body. “I’ve been being good, but now I’m gonna eat that rabbit and everyone he cares about for being such a jerk!”

Holly scowled, unsure of where Hare ran off to, until she noticed a sign on the side of the road with “Grandma’s House: This Way” written on it, and she blinked in surprise. How convenient!

A little further down the road, Hare suddenly spotted a yellow eyeball monster holding an unusual pink object in his tongue, and he tried to slip past him without drawing any attention to himself.

He failed.

“Why, good morning, Little Red Riding My Dick!” Suezo grinned, feeling awfully clever at his very non-clever jab.

Hare rolled his eyes.

“What do you want this time, Suezo?” the rabbit monster asked with a frown.

“I’m currently selling the greatest item that’s ever existed! Behold, the Spyglass! It’s a magnificent item that let’s you see through things, like clothes, so you can get a great view of some pretty ladies or whatever scratches that itch for you!” Suezo held out the strange telescope-like object out for Hare to see.

“Suezo… there’s literally a plastic skeleton that says “Made in China” superglued to the front of this thing,” Hare scowled.

“…shit!” the eyeball monster snatched the Spyglass back and rolled backwards into the bushes, completely disappearing from sight.

“Idiot…” Hare flipped the con artist off and continued to walk down the dirt path.

Little did Hare know, his wasted time with Suezo gave Holly enough time to slip past him and make it to Grandma’s house.

Holly looked at the quaint log cabin before knocking on the door, the wolf girl ready to face a feeble old woman, and she blinked in surprise when a young man opened the door instead. He wore a pair of old boots, work pants and… a pink geriatric woman’s nightgown.

“Uh, do you know where a rabbit monster’s Grandma lives? The very specific sign points to this house, but I think there’s been a mistake…” Holly trailed off.

“Oh, no, the sign is right. My name is Genki, but all my friends call me Grandma,” Genki introduced himself with a smile.

Holly only felt more confused. “Uh, I mean, why the nickname?”

“Okay, so this one time I sneezed really hard and I pulled a muscle in my back, and after that all my friends started to make fun of me by calling me Grandma and the nickname just kinda stuck,” Genki shrugged.

“And the old lady nightgown…?”

“They got me this as a gag gift for my birthday, but the joke’s on them! It’s so comfortable!”

Holly sweated and wasn’t sure what to think, but then she remembered why she was there in the first place. With an impish grin, the wolf girl pushed Genki into the house and slammed the door behind her, trapping the young man inside.

“Well, sorry for you, but I’m here to eat you!” Holly pointed her clawed hand at him.

Genki blinked before he slowly began to undo the zipper of his pants.

Holly face faulted.

“No, not like that! I mean literally!” Holly blushed scarlet.

Genki sulked and rezipped his pants in disappointment.

“Now, take off your weird old lady nightgown. I can’t take you seriously when you’re wearing that!” the wolf girl demanded.

Without asking any questions, Genki removed the pink nightgown and tossed it on the bed, revealing a pretty fine ass body underneath, and Holly’s wolf ears perked up.

“Uh, on second thought, I’m gonna just put you in the closet. You know, in case I get hungry later. It doesn’t have anything to do with anything else and it’s definitely not because I secretly want to ravage your body,” Holly tried to hide her reddened cheeks and wagging tail as she shoved Genki into the closet before slamming it shut.

“Ooooh, I like where this is going…” Genki’s muffled voice echoed out from the closet.

With Genki captured, Holly tried to think of a plan to get Hare to let his guard down so she wouldn’t get a second round of pepper spray, and her eyes lit up as she saw the old lady nightgown on the bed. With a grin, Holly changed into the hideous outfit and she couldn’t help but smell it. Mmmm, Old Spice. The wolf girl then dimmed the lights enough so Hare wouldn’t recognize the deception right away and then she crawled into Genki’s bed. The bedsheets felt a little crusty, and she shuddered to think about what Genki did in that bed.

Outside, Hare whistled to himself as he passed the local huntsman. Tiger held his axe in his mouth and like every day of his life, he internally questioned why he chose a career that was physically impossible for him to do.

“Hey, mutt! You know what’s nice? Having opposable thumbs!” Hare taunted the wolf monster like he did every time he visited Genki.

“Grrr… shut up, you used tampon-wearing bitch!” Tiger barked back.

Ouch.

Hare turned away with a ‘hmph’, now a little self-conscious about his red cloak, before he walked up to Genki’s house and knocked on the door.

“Grandma, I’m here with another rock from dad! I’ll just toss it out here!” Hare proceeded to take the rock and throw it right behind Tiger, which startled the wolf monster.

“You’re such a nuisance!” Tiger grumbled under his breath.

Hare grinned and knocked on the door again.

“Come in, dear!” an uncharacteristically feminine voice called out.

Hare couldn’t help but be curious at the odd voice before he let himself into Genki’s house, and he was surprised with how dim the lights were. He was even more surprised that Genki was laying in bed, since it was usually next to impossible to get the man to sit still for more than a few minutes, and he suddenly felt a bit uneasy. Genki sounded and looked a little… different than usual.

“Grandma, you sound like your balls regressed back into your body. Are you okay?” Hare asked as he slowly approached who he thought was his friend.

“Oh, well, I’ve just been feeling a bit under the weather, is all,” Holly anxiously replied.

“Wow, I don’t wanna catch whatever you have then! You actually sound like a woman! You really are an old lady, Genki!” the rabbit monster snickered with amusement. “Dude, say something only a woman would say!”

Holly rolled her eyes. “I have a twenty-five percent coupon off a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks.”

“Hahaha! Man, that’s hilarious! We should do some prank calls later! We can call Suezo and make him believe someone’s actually interested in him!” Hare schemed deviously.

“Uh, yeah, sure. Sounds like fun,” the wolf girl forced a smile.

Hare leaned in closer to whom he assumed was Genki and he squinted his eyes. “Geez, Grandma, what big ears you have! Like, they don’t look human!”

Holly gulped. “Ah, well, they’re better to hear you with! Plus I got into cosplay recently! That’s all! I mean, I’m the guy who likes wearing this old lady nightgown, right? Cosplay is an improvement.”

The rabbit monster continued to analyze his friend. “Grandma, your eyes look bigger than usual! Did you take a whiff of too many Natsumi Berries?”

“What? Oh, yeah, sure. Let’s go with that!” Holly sweated.

“Your teeth are also bigger!” the rabbit monster pointed out.

“Wow, no need to get so personal,” the wolf girl pouted a little and suddenly felt a little self-conscious of her sharp canines.

“Hey, I’m just calling it how I see it…”

“Enough of this! Unfortunately for you…” Holly leapt out from the bed and landed in front of the door, blocking the exit of the home. “I’m not Grandma!”

Hare’s eyes narrowed. “It’s you! That wolf from earlier! What do you want and where’s Grandma?!”

“Grandma is fine for now, so don’t worry about him,” the wolf girl chuckled with amusement and eyed her prey cautiously.

“Years have passed since I’ve been imprisoned, and my soul struggles to stay vivacious while my heart pounds with the rush of eternal torment…” Genki’s voice whispered theatrically from his place inside the closet.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic! You’ve literally been in there for, like, five minutes,” Holly rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to Hare. “As for you, rabbit, I’m here to eat you!”

Hare blinked in surprise before making the motion as if he were unzipping an invisible pair of pants.

Holly face faulted.

“Not like that, dummy! I’m literally going to devour you! Sheesh! What is it with you guys?!” Holly blushed furiously.

Hare sulked.

With a grin, Holly leapt at Hare with her claws extended, but the rabbit monster dodged at the last minute and ran towards the window. His eyes spotted the blue wolf monster further away, and a rush of relief came over him.

“HEY, MUTT! HELP ME!” Hare yelled out.

Tiger, who hadn’t been able to successfully cut a single piece of wood the entire day, whipped his head around with his axe still clamped in his jaws to see Hare waving his arms around frantically from Genki’s home. Curious, the wolf monster trudged over, for he’d love any excuse to make it seem like someone distracted him from work so he didn’t look like an incompetent woodsman.

“Just what the hell do you want now? Can’t you see I’m actually working; unlike a certain freeloading bum I know?” Tiger raised his brow.

“A WOLF! I’M BEING ATTACKED BY A WOLF!” Hare shouted frantically.

Tiger’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t you be shouting allegations like that about me! You’re gonna get me arrested! Again!”

“NOT YOU! A DIFFERENT WOLF!”

Just as Hare finished his sentence, he was yanked backwards and thrown roughly to the ground by Holly. The wolf girl stood over the rabbit monster with a pleased grin on her face while the red cloak-wearing monster gulped nervously.

Tiger could feel a wave of adrenaline wash over him as happiness burst from his chest. ‘Finally! I can use this axe for something cool!’

With a shout, the wolf monster leapt through the window with his trusty axe held tightly before he glared at the stray wolf girl who was holding Hare down.

“GET AWAY FROM HIM, YOU FILTHY, FLEA-BITTEN, HORRIBLE DOG!” Tiger shouted manically.

“But… you’re a wolf, too,” Holly pointed out.

“…oh, right,” the wolf monster awkwardly cleared his throat. “Anyways! Leave that obnoxious rabbit alone! Only I can kick his ass!”

Tiger charged towards Holly and wildly swung his axe down, in which the wolf girl leapt out of the way with a yelp and the axe buried itself into the floorboard just centimeters away from Hare’s face.

“Sheesh! I think I was safer with the wolf girl!” Hare sweated.

“It’s hard to aim this thing when you have to hold it in your mouth!” Tiger blushed with embarrassment.

Holly eyed the newcomer with nervous eyes and she shakily pointed an accusing claw towards the wolf monster. “I didn’t think you were seriously going to try killing me! Like, geez, man! I’m lucky your aim is terrible!”

“So am I…” Hare muttered under his breath.

“S-shut up!” Tiger embarrassingly blushed.

“Well, I’m not risking my life over this, though! You probably taste like an old shoe anyways,” the wolf girl glared at Hare and backed away towards the closet.

“H-hey! I beg to differ! I think I’d taste like gold-encrusted wagyu beef!” Hare glowered.

“Nah, I think the wolf girl is right,” Tiger rolled his eyes.

“Shut up, mutt!”

“And I’m gone… Whoosh!” While not being discreet at all, Holly slipped into the closet and slowly closed the door behind her to prevent Tiger from hacking away at her with his axe.

“We just saw you hide in the closet,” Hare sweated.

“Come back out here so I can finally use my axe for something badass!” Tiger growled.

“There’s no wolf girl in here! So go away!” Holly replied anxiously.

“Yeah! I’m okay with this!” Genki’s voice suddenly piped up.

“Holy Phoenix! I forgot you were still in here! You almost gave me a heart attack!” the wolf girl put her hand over her chest and sighed in relief. Her stomach then started to rumble again, and she sweated.

“You know, I have something you can eat…” Genki nudged Holly with his elbow and gave her the most obvious wink ever.

The wolf girl wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

“Grandma, you’re an idiot!” Tiger rolled his eyes. “That wolf girl was going to kill you earlier and kill Hare! Use your brain for once!”

Genki slowly peeked out the closet. “Does it look like I care?! Don’t ruin this for me, guys! Grandma’s gonna go to Pound Town!”

Tiger and Hare face faulted as their friend quickly retreated back into the closet.

“Welp, I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen Grandma’s bed sheets before so I’m not gonna stick around to see where this goes,” Hare scowled before marching out of Genki’s house, a feeling of discomfort crawling up his spine.

“…wanna go find Suezo and steal his money from all the scams he’s been running recently?” Tiger asked roguishly.

“Ah, why not?” the rabbit monster adjusted his red cloak and grinned mischievously.

And so, Hare survived his encounter with the wolf girl, and would go on to deliver about six hundred rocks to Genki for literally no reason. Genki continued to be called Grandma by everyone and got used to Holly biting him in her sleep. Tiger also went on to train with his axe and waits patiently for the day he gets to use it on someone. The end! XD

[teenwolftuesdaytrash]

Derek and fire — it has always been a complicated relationship.

Before Kate. Before the fire.

Before blue eyes. Before a too young, too bloody goodbye in a cellar filled with magical roots and vines.

When it was still just the Hale House. Secluded, yes, but thriving, full, noisy, cramped, crowded with too many wolves in one den.

Back then, fire had been warmth for Derek. It had been the promise of food accompanied by the click, click, click of the stove as his Papa got started on dinner. It had been a soothing aroma as Laura lit her favorite scented candle and left it on the side table by the sofa. Occasionally, it had also been the mark of a night of mischief, him and his siblings and cousins sneaking out to the preserve in the middle of the night for an impromptu campfire with a side of underage drinking.

Back then, before everything, before Paige and then Kate, fire had just been a pretty sight for Derek, something to stare into as he lost himself in benign teenage werewolf woes.

Then it happened. Fire grew and became a monster, ate and burned and took everything in Derek’s life, took everything he loved in that big old ‘wolf house.

One big red, orange, blue, red, yellow, and then more red of a monster.

After, for a little while, (and maybe a little while longer) fire had been…relief. Hidden. Secret. Shame.

After crying with Laura, moving to New York with Laura, building a new significantly tinier pack with Laura, fire had been a cheap lighter in Derek’s hands, bought in secret and held between his thighs — flickering, and warming, and warning. Burning against Derek’s hurting then healing and back again skin.

It had become a second secret that Derek made sure to keep from Laura.

For a while, fire had been Peter lying catatonic on a hospital bed, skin mangled and unhealing, Derek’s favorite peculiar uncle nothing but a shell of himself.

It had been a reminder. A ghost that haunted Derek’s every waking thought and dreams. This is how weak you were. This is what you’ve done.

Then, Laura went missing, and fire became a taunt and a call to come back to Beacon Hills – come home, come closer, closer.

Quickly and briefly after that, fire had been re-lived grief and inescapable tragedy. It had been the burn in his hands as Derek rubbed and wound wolfsbane on that rope, the numbness and the sting as Derek walked and marked the grave that would hold his sister’s chopped up corpse.

Fire went away for a little while after that. Left him gasping and grasping cold air, laid down on the sooted and ice-cold floors of his childhood home.

Then the heat came back in molotov cocktails and a feral uncle, a too young wolf playing hero and insistently repeating all, ALL of Derek’s past mistakes, forcing him to look in the mirror every goddamn day and deal with this too ideal and too gullible version of who he once was.

Explosive chaos, that version of himself caused. Him and his friends, each one their own version of trouble. Unadulterated chaos all of them.

Derek and fire — a recipe for inescapable tragedy, a cautionary tale, a warning. One that Derek has learned from. Or rather, one that he should have learned from.

And yet. In the here and now…

Despite everything, or maybe more honestly because of everything that fire has taken from him, he still finds himself burning for—

Stiles is…Stiles. He isn’t Kate. Nor Jennifer or Braeden. He isn’t Paige.

Derek knows this. He knows it well.

But Derek also knows that Stiles is a spark that burns wild and bright. In more ways than one.

From the growing power of his magic to the ferocity of the way he loved, unafraid to cross lines and use any means necessary to protect those he cared for. Stiles with his amber eyes and sharp tongue is the raging heat and the eviscerate-all-who-dare-touch of fire.

And Derek burns.

[spec7rejay-reblogs]

Just a chance (may be all you need)

tw: injury, specifically Mu gets beat up, plus some bad self-talk from Mu, violence and mentions of death

Also, as a heads up: this includes my AU’s version of Mu in terms of species, bodily features, and life experiences. If you don’t like that, you don’t have to read.

…

“Gyyoww!!” Why was life so hard for her?

“Nr-ouch!!” Whatever happened to her home?

“Nyaaagghh!!” When did she start having to resort to the lowest of tactics?

“Hyouugh!!” Was the burden of the whole world’s hatred not enough?

But then again, didn’t she deserve it all?

Each of these questions ran through Mu’s head as she was thrown around like a rag doll by a few Mafia goons as punishment for trying to steal some fish (which they didn’t even need anyways! Had they not the brains to realize that Mu only needed what they didn’t?? No, no that was bad guy thoughts, get it together, be better!). Following the… incident (was she so pathetic that she couldn’t even think about it?), food had become even scarcer than before, causing her to have to become more brazen in her bad guy thefts and not-quite-as bad scavenging. Which is what led her to her current situation: getting caught red-handed and consequently receiving a beating.

The blue suited men advanced on her vulnerable form like wolves on a wounded kitten. Mu was sure that this was either going to be the end of her life or the start of a life of a torture-filled captivity.

That is, until the familiar yet… so blurry? silhouette of someone who she’d assumed would never want anything to do with her again appeared and steadied her umbrella to strike. The resulting fight was rather one-sided and very quick. Mu couldn’t believe what happened. What was Hat Kid doing here? Why was her vision so blurry?

Imagine her surprise when she goes from that grungy alleyway to waking up in the most plush thing she’s felt since her late mother’s warm embrace. Imagine her surprise when she finds herself bandaged up with her hood and cape removed.

Leaving her less-than-human ears exposed to be seen by anyone. Leaving her status as a hybrid blatantly obvious. Leaving the torn-off tip of her feline right ear out to remind her of that night.

With these latest realizations, Mu started to panic. Her heart pounded and her hidden twin tails lashed. Her instinct screamed in her head. She couldn’t be seen like this! Where’s her cloak? She had to hide, hide her ears, hide from sight, hide from the Mafia, hide from the world, hide from-

A sound to her right drew her frightened attention. Her throat closed and she eyes watered as she saw Hat Kid come in. No, Hat Kid couldn’t see her like this, like a hybrid, like anything but a purebreed, oh no what is that look for-?

Mu was snapped out of her spiral by a single frantic word: “Breathe!” The shock of hearing the sound was enough to make her comply. Then she noticed who the speaker was again, and began to silently shed tears, cat ears folding down and back and shoulders sagging as everything came crashing down.

“Ha-at Ki-ii-i-iiid. Y-you… why? Why-y did you he-e-elp me-e? Afterrr e-ever… a-afte’ e’rythi-i-innnn? I-I’m ju-ust a bad gu-uy, aren-n’t I?”

Hat Kid looked at Mu with an expression that she couldn’t understand (she couldn’t understand any expressions beyond the most basic and obvious ones why was she so bad at good things-) and, in the most unexpected turn of events, took Mu’s hands and rubbed them in deliberate motions, breathing in a specific way with giving Mu a significant look. But what’s she trying to say?

…

Oh wait.

She probably wanted Mu to copy her breathing. Yeah, that made sense (why did that take so long to understand, that wasn’t hard, what was WRONG with her?). Mu began to try to breathe in the same way as Hat Kid, which actually helped her calm down. Once Hat Kid was sure Mu was breathing fine, the alien child passed her a note.

“I saw how you were acting during the fight. I promise I’m not mad at you. I also saw what happened with you and those Mafia goons. I patched you up and put your cloak in the washing machine to clean it. Since you don’t really seem to have much and I really want to try again with you, you can stay in my spaceship for as long as you want! I noticed that you aren’t quite the same as others on Earth, so just let me know if you need anything specific, ok?

Mu was speechless. She was shocked. She was shaking, she was scared, she was so so confused. But what did she have to lose anyway? And it didn’t seem like Hat Kid minded that she was a hybrid, anyway. She tried to voice her agreement to the other girl, but her throat wouldn’t cooperate. Luckily, Hat Kid seemed to understand well enough.

Mu just hoped that she could make it through the stay without feline traits making themselves known and causing problems.

Prompt: Hurt

Yeah I made Mu part cat (one fourth to be specific), what are you going to do about it?

Edit: just a little bit

[theofficersacademy]

In the wake of the Ethereal Ball and the Morfisian elementals’ departure, winter comes in full force. A heavy blizzard slams the monastery and the surrounding mountains, dumping several feet of snow and ice, and forcing the closure of the roadway to and from the gate. There hasn’t been a storm quite like this in decades, say the sages, and it’s nothing they can’t weather. But to the young nobility and students from abroad who have not had such experience, their dwindling supplies looks like the countdown to their deaths.

The Knights of Seiros and faculty employed by the monastery are called upon to be the leaders during this disaster, and their vigilance is more important now than ever. Keep the students safe, the hearths blazing, and the supplies carefully rationed until the snow clears.

Faculty and Staff Mission: Stay the cold’s hand...!

Though the mission is labelled for the “faculty and staff,” this Mission Season is for all muses unaffiliated with the student Houses. So if your muse is affiliated with the Church of Seiros, the Knights of Seiros, Abyss, the Ashen Wolves, or Those Who Slither In The Dark, this is their time to shine!

Like always, threads using tasks from the Faculty and Staff board must contain an Unaffiliated character as a participant (which means that faculty affiliated with any of the three houses do not count), but there are also non-mission tasks available to everyone without restrictions.

Faculty and Staff Mission Task Board

Small hunting parties regularly venture beyond monastery walls to hunt for additional food to pad out supplies. On one of your patrols, your arrow manages to sink deep between the ribs of a young buck. He flees, alive, but leaving a trail of blood in his wake. Tracking him down will take all night, which is bad news when there’s snow already falling. Even so, you can’t just return empty-handed. [Grants Bow +1]

The younger members of the clergy empathize deeply with the fearful students. Noticing that it’s the Guardian Moon, one of them decides to show the students how to make a “Saint Seiros charm” from their hometown, a traditional craft for Saint Seiros Day. The bit of Faith magic woven into it gives the trinket a certain comforting aura, something much-needed during these perilous times. Others offer instruction about their own version of charms that, while not for Saint Seiros, offer a sense of togetherness and cultural connection, and helps take one’s mind off the cold.

An overnight outage to the stables’ heating system results in the deaths of several wyverns, personal mounts and beloved lesson drakes alike. In their grief, passionate students vowed to sleep overnight in the wyvern stables to help them keep warm through the night. [Grants Flying +1]

The long, dark nights often lead to despair, but this year seems to have led to a more extreme crisis. Some members of the Knights of Seiros defy their orders and steal away with some crest stones in the dark of night. The promise of power and, most importantly, eternal warmth in a cold winter drives their actions, but they are powerless against the curse. These monsters roaming the hills may have been your allies once, but there is no trace of them here.

Desperation pushes starving villagers and stranded merchants to unscrupulous means to survive. As you finish up one of your patrols, a band of thieves manage to catch you by surprise and take one of your colleagues hostage. Holding a knife to their throat, they demand gold and supplies to help them survive the storm. They are still inexperienced civilians in the end though. An experienced warrior like yourself would cut them down easily, if that’s what you choose to do. [Grants Gauntlets +1]

NEW! Oddly, the mages notice that Reason magic has been on the fritz lately. Even the most experienced sages find it difficult to control their magic, never mind the practicing novices that keep burning themselves and injuring others. A late-night attempt to study for a Reason exam quickly gets out of hand and sends a classroom up in flames. The Knights of Seiros and other members of the monastery’s facilities must rush in quickly in order to contain the fire and save lives. [Grants Reason +1]

NEW! Mail arrives at the monastery for the first time in weeks, carried by a brave messenger who dies almost as soon as he arrives. With the break in communication and lingering unrest from the incident with the imposters, friends and loved ones from other continents are desperately trying to reestablish contact. Their frantic letters speak of trouble from home, but there’s no way to get a timely reply back in this weather…

NEW! As you brave the wilderness for more food, you hear the howl of wolves nearby. It looks like they’ve just brought down a massive buck, big enough to feed an entire pack… the hunger pangs return, gnawing at your empty stomach. When was the last time you had a proper meal? Do you have it in you to keep hunting for however many hours it takes, when there is food right here? Trying to steal from starving wolves is a big risk to take—you’ll become prey yourself if you’re not careful. But a deer that size could provide many meals to your friends and allies back in the monastery. You better act fast before the wolves devour every piece of meat. [Grants Lance +1]

Non-Mission Task Board

The Ethereal Ball is done, but as you're leaving, you see flocks of people making for a barely-trodden little footpath leading partway down the mountain. Should you follow it, the sound of music and hollering would begin to swell, until you are greeted with a barebones but extremely lively party with a large bonfire and no shortage of entertainment. Dancing, singing -- both far more boisterous and free than anything the Ball offered -- is plentiful, and it only seems to be getting started. There’s even a fun axe-throwing game set up between the trees. Better take advantage of the party now - those clouds overhead look ready to snow. [Grants Axe +1]

Certain students concocted their own solution to last month’s shrinking problem: a potion that allows one to add a couple of inches to your height. It’s so potent that the effect remains even after the curse was dispelled, resulting in students noticeably taller than they were before the incident. No one knows what the side-effects are, or how long the potion lasts, and yet demand grows among the student population. Investigate by offering yourself as a guinea pig, or observe from afar.

A new exercise craze has taken over the continents and has now infiltrated Fodlan’s borders. A group of people claiming to be professional instructors are hosting a class promoting ‘The Askr’ along with other various aerobic, high-energy exercises to keep one warm! If the new wave and synth pop beats don’t get you moving, then maybe the brightly-colored leotards, headbands and legwarmers will grab your attention. (Or maybe you’re just there for the cute men and women in said leotards). [Grants Heavy Armor +1]

Winter has settled in at Garreg Mach, and the long hours of darkness are working their way into the bodies and minds of its staff and students. Shelter from the bitter winds and snows that blow outside soon turn just as suffocating, as the stillness permits too many unwanted thoughts to worm their way into the crevices of your thoughts. A fresh distraction is desperately due, but in short supply during this season. A minor Faerghus noble knows these troubles all too well, and so she offers to Garreg Mach a small donation. A small, vacant building in town has now been renovated into a simple retreat for anyone to visit. Rustic and cozy, it features a host of simple food and drink, a warm fire...and a challenge not for the faint of heart! Participants need to eat a whole bucket of the spiciest pieces of chicken you can imagine or fall over trying. Will you come to cheer or boo the competitors on? Enter it yourself? Or stow yourself away in a more quiet corner to have a drink and reflect?

Have you ever wanted your own emblem ring? Well look no further! A professor at the academy, who shall not be named, has recently begun forging copies of his Ring of the Avenger, which he promises will grant overflowing power and arcane energies to any who equip it. But, he also warns, it curses the wearer with an insatiable urge for bloodlust! With so many copies floating around, surely these claims can't be real... Better slip one on and find out for yourself!

NEW! Stir-crazy students, desperate for anything new, have latched onto a new fad. An anonymous student’s ongoing novel, updated with a new chapter every other day with little fanfare in the past, takes the academy by storm! The premise is of a group of students on a frozen planet a grand city, the last bastion of humanity, in hopes of finding others of their kind. Students rave over the gripping plot and complex characters, but when the story begins inspiring reader to set out on an adventure of their own, the administration moves quickly to ban it from school grounds. You ought to see what all the fuss is about.

NEW! This most recent run of the Arena results in more injuries than usual, and with resources scarce as-is, the infirmary turns to lesser-used remedies and ancient herbs to try to treat these wounds. Few people want to try them, for good reason: the list of potential side-effects is almost as long as your final essay in history class. Yet the nurses are in grave need of test subjects willing to test out these new cures. Will you help them out? [Grants Faith +1]

Frequently Asked Questions

How does the divided task board work?

This season’s mission is assigned to the Unaffiliated Muses. Therefore, tasks from the ‘Faculty and Staff Mission Task Board’ must be undertaken by someone that is affiliated with the Church of Seiros, the Knights of Seiros, the Underground Citizens, the Ashen Wolves, or Those Who Slither in the Dark. However, they may choose to perform the task with someone who is not from their group as well. In logistical terms, this means that if you play a non-Unaffiliated muse and want to do a mission task, you must ask someone who plays an Unaffiliated muse to thread with you. All thread participants will still receive any skill point rewards.

Tasks from the ‘Non-Mission Task Board’ have no house restriction and can be undertaken by anyone.

These aren’t the only threads I can do, right?

Of course not! These are just prompts to help give some ideas of possibilities. You’re always free and encouraged to make up your own threads.

If my muse is not an Unaffiliated muse, can I still write an open starter for the mission tasks?

Yes, but only the non-mission tasks. Your character must be Unaffiliated to write an open starter for this season’s mission.

How do I claim the skill points?

In order to qualify for the skill point, the thread must clearly allude to the listed task and preferably feature the task being completed. You do not need to message the masterlist to claim your skill point.

Can I only do one task?

Nope, you can do as many as you’d like with as many different partners as you’d like! You can do the same task with more than one person! However, you can only claim any skill points once.

What if my partner leaves or drops a skill point thread?

If the dropped thread has at least 2 reblogs and you have hit at least 400 words on your end, you may still claim the skill point.

Remember to use (and track!) the #toa open tag for any open threads, and you can also post a link to your open thread on the appropriate Discord channel! If you have any other questions or concerns, shoot us a message through the masterlist or on Discord!

- The House Leaders

[thelostcityofsugarteara]

Crunchy chip with an S/O that is amazing at cooking and makes sure he eats well!

we both know this one is malnourished as hell, so what if his S/O noticed and just.. started cooking for him, making a good meal out of any resources they can get, absolutely pampering him at any given chance too! Bonus would be if the small feral boy got a growth spurt because of the new and much better diet, going from being gremlin to being a bit taller than Caramel arrow (lets say that is around 6') +after he reaches his height limit, he is much taller than his S/O too, who used to be just a bit taller than him but.. now they look so s m o l- *throw the realistics out of the window for this one, we have dragons , DE and talking cookies in the fandom; plus, the idea of everyone being shocked at the growth spurt pretty funny, so-

FIRST CRUNCHY CHIP REQUEST !!!! mhm what a brilliant idea, i hope you enjoy <3

also once there’s better quality versions of his crunchy’s gacha sprite, i will update his banner (it isn’t looking too great rn)

crunchy chip with a s/o who cooks really well <3

you were the only watcher who didn’t hail from the dark cacao kingdom. you were from the hollyberry kingdom !!

you moved to the dark cacao kingdom at a young age, so you didn’t remember much about your home.

the one thing you did remember though was their excellent cuisine. you were hardly a teenager, but your parents always asked you to help out with dinner, so you had many recipes under your belt.

one day, you were out on the great chocolate wall (is that what it’s called ? not sure), where you bumped into an acquaintance of yours, the captain of the cream wolves, crunchy chip cookie.

“ah, crunchy chip ! how are you ?” you asked. your sweet nature was unfamiliar to him, because of how serious everyone in the dark cacao kingdom is, but he brushed it off.

“i’m good, y/n- hungry- how are you- food-“ he replied, seemingly very hungry.

“oh are you hungry ?” you asked, “would you like to come to the kitchens with me ? i can see if i can make anything for you.”

“what- no i’m not hungry !!” protested crunchy chip.

“it’s very clear that you are hungry. come with me.” you said.

and so you led crunchy chip to the kitchens & managed to get him some bitter jellies, since there wasn’t much in there.

“woah, thank you y/n !” said crunchy chip, obviously very happy.

time passed and you & crunchy chip grew closer & closer, and you both realised that you had feelings for the other.

crunchy chip freaked out when he realised.

it took a while to calm himself down, and then he started to craft a ‘foolproof’ plan on how to confess to you.

about a week or two later, while you and crunchy chip were talking on top of the great chocolate wall, he asked you if he could tell you something.

you said yes of course, and his ‘foolproof’ plan went to shit.

“soiactuallyreallylikeyouandiwaswonderingwouldyoulike-“ he gushed.

“could you slow down ? i can’t make out what you’re saying.” you asked.

“oh ! i’m sorry y/n !!” he almost yelled. you gave a confused look.

“so, uh- i… really like you & i was wondering if you would like to be my partner ???” crunchy chip said, looking away in embarrassment.

“crunchy chip,” you started, “i would love nothing more.”

so yeah you two are dating now. woohoo !!

you eventually moved in together in a cabin located in one of the wooded areas near the citadel, and you made a special hollyberrian meal for you and your boyfriend to celebrate your new home.

^^it was also accompanied by the best berry juice you could get a hold of.

it had many different flavours in it, and wasn’t bitter at all. you often ate it growing up, so why not make it now ?

unfortunately for crunchy chip, it had some spice in it.

he had never had spice in his entire life beforehand, so he acted like his tongue had been set on fire !

he immediately rushed to get some water & chugged.

but, as we all know, water isn’t good for getting rid of spice.

you had to get him some milk 😭

after dinner, you were sat together, and crunchy chip told you what he thought of the dinner.

“y/n, that was so good !! i know i made a big scene with the spice, but could make it again some time ?? please ??” he asked, staring at you with big puppy dog eyes.

“yes,” you replied, “of course !! i’m glad you liked it.”

over the next few months, crunchy chip had more & more of your cooking. finally he actually got the nutrition he needed, and he fucking grew. this bitch went from 4’11 to 6ft in a matter of months !!

he rocked up to training with caramel arrow one day after he had a overnight growth spurt from 5’7 to 6ft (realistics ? don’t know her…) and she was shocked. how’d he get so tall ????

you & her were talking one day and she asked you about it.

“you used to be far taller than crunchy chip, y/n. how ?”

“oh, just my cooking !!” you explained.

“your… cooking ?”

“oh, i’ve started getting ingredients from my homeland, the hollyberry kingdom.”

caramel started having dinner with you & your boyfriend from then on.

i hope you liked this !! <3

[attemptsonherlifepdf]

fantastic mr fox: humanising animals, animalising men, and an exploration of masculine identity

‘this story is too predictable.’ / ‘predictable? really? what happens in the end?’ / ‘in the end, we all die. unless you change.’

mr fox, the titular character of wes anderson’s 2009 stop-motion adaptation of roald dahl’s children’s book, is a portrait of two conflicting manifestations of masculinity. he is built to demonstrate the crossover between tradition and modernity, between wild and civilised. characterised as a charming gentleman, almost renowned for his recklessness, mr fox combines his undomesticated instincts with a carefully crafted domestic life. he appears to spend more time manufacturing a perfect home and family than he does actually participating in it. the events of the movie serve to strip away his facade and present both the audience and protagonist with a harsh reality to deal with: the juxtaposing aspects of his identity that he must contend with in order to survive his situation. these aspects are demonstrated through the use of anthropomorphic animals. in essence, the text attempts to convey the message that while you can associate your actions with animal or human traits in order to characterise and frame them, you cannot change their value and their consequences. it serves as a critique of how the nature of male identity is exploited to shunt responsibility, and the movie specifically promotes a more collectivist mentality.

there are four key scenes that mark mr fox’s journey in terms of his identity. initially, we first see his identity openly questioned once he has moved into a new home (a large and expensive tree), just prior to him revealing his ‘master plan’ to kylie, who becomes his assistant of sorts. he asks, ‘why a fox? why not a horse, or a beetle, or a bald eagle? i’m saying this more as, like, existentialism, you know? who am i? and how can a fox ever be happy without, you’ll forgive the expression, a chicken in its teeth?’ he attributes his identity with the ability to fulfil his base desires, like he could in his youth. aspects of his later life such as employment, family, and safety restrict his ability and leaves him feeling untethered from himself. the movie opens with his youthful vibrance and recklessness, and is quickly contrasted with his dissatisfaction with his job, home, and life in general.

MR FOX

i dont want to live in a hole anymore. it makes me feel poor.

MRS FOX

we are poor, but we’re happy.

MR FOX

comme ci, come ca...

does anyone actually read my column?

having been moved out of the hole and into an expensive tree, mrs fox asks her husband:

MRS FOX

do you still feel poor?

MR FOX

less so.

constructing the ideal domestic space for himself and his family does not satisfy mr fox and he yearns for more, which is where is existentialism and ‘master plan’ come into play. domesticity was never going to satisfy mr fox, as he yearns for something youthful and risky and dazzling, adjectives not usually applied to a quiet and content home life. the consequences of this dissatisfaction are drastic and almost immediate.

soon, having been forced out of his new home and underground by an attack from the farmers, mr fox is faced with a situation he cannot charm his way out of. he attempts to apologise to his son and recite a speech to raise the morale of his family, and both of these attempts are shut down by those around him. the facade of his elaborate home, his monologues, even his suits, are abruptly stripped away leaving him with only his actions which he cannot charm his way out of. the reality is that he and his family, his neighbourhood, is stuck underground with no means of food as a result of his selfish actions. this prompts yet another key scene; his argument with felicity, which begins with her viciously hissing and scratching his face.

MRS FOX

why did you lie to me?

MR FOX

because im a wild animal.

MRS FOX

you are also a husband, and a father.

MR FOX

im trying to tell you the truth about myself.

MRS FOX

i dont care about the truth about yourself. this story is too predictable.

MR FOX

predictable? really? what happens in the end?

MRS FOX

in the end, we all die. unless you change.

mrs fox’s physical attack on her husbands face serves as a display of genuine animal ferocity, making mr fox’s claim to being a ‘wild animal’ appear as a flimsy excuse for his behaviour. his chicken theft, which he was insistent upon regardless of the consequences, was motivated not by animal instincts but a selfish desire to feel a particular version of his own masculinity. disregarding the safety of his family actually seems like a natural byproduct of his master plans because he is trying to reclaim his masculinity from a time before his family existed, and in his eyes, restricted him. the very recent loss of his tail, combined with this conversation with his wife, is a harsh reality check for mr fox in terms of the dangers of his masculinity.

the audience sees the outcome of this conversation later on, in the waterfall scene. here mr fox admits to his insecurities and suggests sacrificing himself to the farmers to save the local community.

MR FOX

darling, maybe they’ll let everyone else live!

…

MR FOX

foxes traditionally like to court danger, hunt prey and outsmart predators, and that’s what im actually good at…i guess at the end of the day im just-

MRS FOX

i know. we’re wild animals.

the difference between this admission to animalism and the one from his argument with felicity is that here, both parties gain some acceptance of their animalism without using it as an excuse for their behaviour. the inclusion of others in animalism – ‘we’re’ wild animals, rather than ‘i am’ a wild animal – contributes to illustrate how wildness is not specific to masculinity. it is not femininity vs masculinity but animals vs man.

the movie also questions the nature of an animal in the final key scene known as ‘canis lupus.’ wes Anderson referred to this scene as ‘the reason im making this movie.’ throughout the movie, mr fox alludes to his ‘phobia of wolves’ and shuts down any conversation surrounding them:

MR FOX

scared? no, i have a phobia of them!...a wolf? what’s with all the wolf talk? can we give it a rest for once?

arguably, these reactions are representative of mr fox’s aversion to competitive masculinity. he shuts down any opportunity for those around him to discuss something he sees as more masculine than himself in order to feel secure in his own masculinity. critic shana mlawski argues that ‘the wolf is described as the wildest, most frightening, and yet most beautiful creature in the world. mr fox fears the wolf and yet wants to be exactly like him. we can thus say that mr fox fears pure, wild masculinity yet also yearns to own it himself.’ the scene holds an eerie familiarity to it; mr fox is recognising something that he thought would be a reflection of himself, but the wild animal is no longer familiar to him anymore. he now accepts his role as a husband and a father and no longer fights to overtly express his animalism in the same way as the wolf. the most he can offer the wolf is raising his fist in solidarity. he calls out to the wolf, ‘i have a phobia of wolves!’, which is an interesting moment to admit this in. it’s his acceptance that allows him to admit this. the scene is entirely compromised of male characters: mr fox, kristofferson, ash, kylie and the wolf. mr fox’s admission to his fear allows him to be vulnerable in front of these people he cares about, and to use this as a teaching moment for the young boys.

MR FOX

what a beautiful creature. wish him luck out there, boys.

here mr fox openly admits his admiration for someone else’s masculinity in front of others without showing signs of his own insecurity. he can admire the wolf for what he is without seeing him as competition. the scene allows the audience to see and directly compare two forms of masculinity and animalism, and to understand that there is no one true expression of either of those traits. the wolf has connotations of violence and ferocity, whereas mr fox and his suit and display of multilingualism are entirely modern, but both are masculine animals who are valid in their own right. either way, both animals rely on violence for survival at times.

kupfer frames violence in three ways: symbolically, structurally and as a narrative essential. there are various forms of violence within this narrative, namely mr fox killing chickens and squabs, and the three farmers’ attack on the animal community. symbolically, mr fox’s chicken theft is attributed to his masculinity. while it is often presented as thought-out ‘master plans’, his desire to enact this violence in the first place supposedly stems from his ‘wild animal’ instincts. he associates a time where he felt secure in his masculinity with his actions at the time (violence). structurally, we see the potential for this violence in the opening scene, where mr fox takes his wife chicken-stealing and they become trapped. he is stuck in a fox trap with his wife when he receives the news of his impending fatherhood, a relatively obvious symbol for his view of fatherhood in general. the news of his wife’s pregnancy disrupts his ability to continue stealing chickens, not just on this specific occasion but through the coming years as well. mr fox appears to view family life as an unfulfilling, less raw expression of his masculinity, and is shown to be wholly dissatisfied with his life.

the violence on the farmers’ behalf is almost always in reaction to mr fox’s violence, already giving it a structural framing. boggis, bunch and bean are referred to early on in the film as the ‘meanest, nastiest and ugliest farmers on the side of the river.’ their violence against mr fox and subsequently the local animal community is an attempt to gain back power and status. mr fox’s actions are “humiliating’ and the local news coverage of this exchange between the farmers and animals raises the stakes as now the reputation of these farmers is on the line as well as their power. violence here serves as a narrative essential because it drives mr fox into a situation that forces him to confront his issues with masculinity and splitting between his animal and human traits, giving the text/movie a fulfilling arc. violence is

introduced as inherently masculine, but is decoupled from masculinity by the ending. mrs fox also plays a small but significant role in this; at various moments in the movie she exhibits her own displays of aggression equal in intensity to the men around her, suggesting to the audience that forms of violence should be categorised as human vs animal rather than male vs female. examples of this behaviour include her clawing at her husband’s face, and a parallel between her and a male human character wherein they both connect two wires and shout ‘contact!’, causing an explosion. while this moment is brief, it highlights a distinct difference between animals being violent and men. humans’ aggression is driven by the need for power, whereas that of animals is driven by the need for survival. the man paralleled with felicity only sparked the explosion to destroy mr fox’s home and assert the dominance of the three farmers, while mrs fox used the same form of violence to enact a plan to save her nephew’s life. petey’s song even alludes to this sentiment: ‘well he stole, and he cheated, and he lied just to survive.’

mr fox’s tail becomes a symbol of power; bean wears it as a necktie, and mr fox feels emasculated by his loss.

MR FOX

one of those slovenly farmers is probably wearing my tail as a necktie right now.

…

BADGER

i cant even imagine how painful, even just emotionally, that must be for you… oh but foxy how humiliating, having your tail blown clean off by-

MR FOX

can we drop it?

the use of the tail as a necktie is a symbol of the power that mr fox and the farmers end up jostling to achieve: at first it belongs to mr fox, then to the farmers, and is eventually reclaimed once more by the fox.

MR FOX

you shot off my tail.

[through gritted teeth] i’m not leaving here without that necktie.

when he reclaims his tail towards the end of the movie, it has been torn to shreds and needs ‘dry cleaning twice a week’ to maintain itself. this can be interpreted as a symbol for his evolved definitions of masculinity and power: his masculinity is no longer defined by impressing people or stealing or killing chickens, but in the quiet satisfaction of having a family. the final scene reveals that mrs fox is pregnant again, and instead of her glowing and her husband giving an awkward grin like in the opening scene, both of the spouses ‘glow.’ the structural framing of these pregnancy reveals bookending the events of the movie allows anderson to demonstrate mr fox’s growth and change in his priorities. the domestic life appears to be enough for him, and he no longer seems to find it emasculating,

what stands out as particularly modern about mr fox is how he unconsciously separates himself from both his wildness and his suburban self in his effort to combine them. he uses his ‘wildness’ as an excuse for his violence and selfishness, but is ultimately not willing to participate in truly wild forms of violence and selfishness, such has hunting. his chicken thefts always include infiltrating a human site, like boggis, bunce and bean’s farms, and the fun of it is in outsmarting them, rather than finding those animals himself out in the wild. the local animal community essentially functions as we would expect a rural village occupied by humans to function: everyone knows everyone, there is one local school and various small and quaint homes. while the setting reflects anderson’s signature style, it is also reflective of dahl’s framing of the community in the original text.

mr fox comes across as an individual who believes himself to be above the somewhat backward mentality of his village, that he is the most civilised and dazzling and original, and he exaggerates these traits in himself out of insecurity: ‘if they arent dazzled and blown away and kind of intimidated by me, then i dont feel good about myself.’this is also reflected in his consistent ‘trademark’, his whistle-and-click combination that he uses to set himself apart from other foxes. his home is also a reflection of this:

MRS FOX

you know, foxes live in holes for a reason.

MR FOX

[grunts and tilts head in disagreement]

yes and no.

this insecurity and desire for outsider approval and individuality is inherently human, a quality of his that cannot really be associated with his animalised parts. this precarious sense of identity and self doubt separates him from his ‘wildness’ as it stands, which is only intensified by the fact that he compensates by exaggerating his human traits in order to be liked and feel worthy, as those are the traits he believes have the most value. towards the end of mr fox’s character arc, he is forced to admit that his need for external validation is flawed and unsustainable. when the façade of carefully constructed grandeur is literally washed away by bean, he is left with nothing but his actions and their implications for those around him. foxy reconciles with the relative insignificance of an identity based on other’s perceptions of you when rat dies soon after, reacting to the suggestion that he redeemed himself last minute by revealing ash’s location:

MR FOX

redemption? sure. but in the end, he’s just another dead rat in a garbage pail behind a chinese restaurant.

this moment is also used to inadvertently allow the audience to evaluate the significance of motivation and intention to the value of an action. although rat did reveal useful information to aid the group in saving Kristofferson, mr fox recognises that he only did so because he realised he could not win this fight.

MR FOX

would you have told me if i didn’t kill you first?

RAT

never.

mr fox’s own motivations throughout the movie have devalued his actions as they have mostly been self-serving. as his motivations evolve to centre around his family, he gains the perspective to understand why one’s intentions are so important. while intention does not entirely dictate how good one’s actions are, they certainly characterise the person who’s action it is. your actions have value and consequences as they are, and that cannot be changed by dressing them up or animalising them to distance yourself.

in essence, fantastic mr fox is a lesson in the value of including those around you in your mentality and worldview. it paints masculinity as something that is inherent and complex in nature, but promotes the idea that it is not stuck with its traditional connotations of violence and egoism. mr fox’s emotional development throughout the text mostly centres around his own insecurities surrounding his masculinity and how that causes him to overcompensate in ways that harm those around him. by the end he recognises that more tame and domestic forms of masculinity are just as valid, and that basing his self-worth on how ‘dazzled’ his peers are by him is immature and not constructive. his family now liberates him and allows him to be vulnerable rather than restricting how he feels he can express himself, and as a unit the animals beat the farmers in their game of power-seeking. mr fox recognises and appreciates both his human and animal traits, without using them as a means to excuse his behaviour or to feel bad about his worth.

MR FOX

i guess my point is, we’ll eat tonight, and we’ll eat together. and even in this not particularly flattering light, you are without a doubt the five and a half most wonderful wild animals ive ever met in my life. so let’s raise our boxes – to our survival.

i.k.b

[wild-west-wind]

Your thoughts on the uptick on tourist/ wildlife conflict? Seems like it’s every week this season!!!

Oh gosh.

It has been bad this year. We’re on track to have the most injuries of any year in recent history.

So I’m of the belief that this comes down to a couple things, one of which is going to expose a major personal bias of mine (you’ll know it when you see it):

There aren’t enough Rangers this year to keep folks appraised of the rules: So this year we’re operating on a highly reduced staff. Most years Interpretive Rangers are out in force, and we’d be able to keep folks away from animals, respond to calls about wildlife jams (traffic jams caused by animals, either by their standing in the road, or by folks stopping to look). That gives us the ability to both educate the public about safe wildlife viewing rules, and prevent folks from getting into situations that might be dangerous.

People Don’t Read Signs: This is a maxim in the NPS, folks just... they don’t try to read the signs, or the park newspaper, or anything. They will make no effort to educate themselves for their own safety, and will deliberately misread signs they understand to try and get away with things they want to do, which brings me to...

People want a ‘unique’ experience: People right now, for better and worse, are inundated with social media. There’s an expectation that there are things you need to see, because that’s What You Do in the area. Add to that though that folks are always going to want something that other people don’t have. That means getting closer to the bear for that great picture. Getting closer to the bison because ‘he seems calm.’

The Government Encouraged Unprepared Folks to Come into Wilderness Spaces: When COVID was first getting serious, many state and local governments encouraged people to go outside, go camping and hiking. The CDC is still saying that camping is an extremely low risk activity. As a result a FLOOD of people with no outdoor experience rushed into outdoor places. Zero preparation, zero outdoor knowledge, all these people who would usually vacation in Hawaii are trying to visit the few National Parks that they know offhand. As a result they are used to a resort-type experience, and assume that the space they’re entering is as controlled of an experience as a big hotel complex in the Bahamas. They are, of course, wrong.

The Disney-fication of Wild Spaces

Movies: People get these images in their heads of movie characters, especially Disney movie characters, having these magical experiences with animals. They hold out their hands, and the animal comes to them. They think they have a special connection with wildlife, that they’re different than those fools who get hurt. They hold onto this mindset and do things that they really shouldn’t be doing because they want to think they’re special.

Theme Parks: So Disney has made a lot of money off making fake, sanitized versions of America’s outdoor spaces, packaging them and selling them to folks. People see the old 1903 Inn near where I worked last year, and their first response is always “Oh like the one in Disneyland!” This is the introduction a lot of first-time National Park travelers have to our park. Then they come out here, where there are no smoke machines on the hot springs, they are boiling; there are no safe animals; there are countless ways to die, even in the front country; and they have NO IDEA how to deal with that. Their image of a National Park is a sanitized theme park area, so they show up here asking “What are the Best Attractions to do here?” and assuming that they are as safe here as they would be in Disneyland. They assume we wouldn’t let them do anything dangerous, and wouldn’t allow dangerous things to come to them, because of course! There’s just this fundamental misunderstanding about what National Parks are for. Yeah, we want you to have a good time, but this isn’t a theme park and if someone can’t get their head around that they’re going to always be in a more dangerous spot that someone else.

This is America and I’ll Do What I Want: Self explanatory.

Anyway, here are the rules for seeing large wildlife:

Stay 25 yards (25m) away from all large animals, except...

When watching bear and wolves stay 100 yards (100m) away

If an animals moves toward you, it is on YOU to maintain that distance

In a car you are not obligated to maintain that distance

If you’re watching a bear from your car you probably want to keep your windows up

Do not feed animals, or by inaction cause an animal to eat human food

A fed animal is a dead animal

Wildlife management doesn’t want to remove animals, but by feeding the animal you killed it

Throwing a bite of food to a bear is as good for that bear as you getting out of your car with a shotgun and pumping a dozen rounds of buckshot into its face

A habituated bear is more likely to hurt humans in the future, so feeding that animal might also get a person hurt or killed

Even squirrels and birds (but we won’t have to remove them, they’ll just die by themselves)

If an animal changes its behavior because you’re around, you should move further away from it

Do not fly drones near animals (they are illegal in National Parks anyway, but it stresses them out A LOT)

Remember you are a house guest in this animal’s home, be a good guest by practicing leave no trace

If the next person to pass by where you were can tell you were there, you did not practice leave no trace

This means no making cairns, no painting rocks, no carving your name into a tree

Do not disturb anything you don’t have to

[brotherdusk]

I saw some people asking for a simplified version of mr bilder’s speech today so I made a quick stab at it! I hope it helps someone :)

"Now, sir, you can go on and ask me what you want. You'll excuse me refusing to talk of professional subjects before meals. I give the wolves and the jackals and the hyenas in all our section their tea before I begin to ask them questions."

"How do you mean, ask them questions?" I queried, wishful to get him into a talkative humour.

"Hitting them over the head with a pole is one way; scratching their ears is another, when rich gentlemen want a bit of a show for the ladies. I don't so much mind the first—the hitting with a pole before I throw in their dinner; but I wait until they've had their sherry and coffee, so to speak, before I try with the ear-scratching. Mind you," he added philosophically, "there's much of the same nature in us as in the animals. You came and asked me questions about my business, and I was so grumpy that if you hadn't given me a half-sovereign I'd have damned you before answering you. Not even when you asked me sarcastically if I'd prefer for the Superintendent to ask me the questions. Without offence, did I tell you to go to hell?"

"You did."

"And when you said you'd report me for using of obscene language, that was hitting me over the head; but the half-sovereign made that all right. I wasn't going to fight, so I waited for the food, and I howled as the wolves, and lions, and tigers do. But, Lord love your heart, now that the old human has stuck a chunk of her tea-cake in me, and rinsed me out with her old teapot, and I've lit my pipe, you may scratch my ears for all you're worth, and won't get even a growl out of me. Drive along with your questions. I know what you're coming at - that escaped wolf."

"Exactly. I want you to give me your view of it. Just tell me how it happened; and when I know the facts I'll get you to say what you consider was the cause of it, and how you think the whole affair will end."

"All right, sir. This is about the whole story. That wolf that we called Berserker was one of three grey ones that came from Norway to Jamrach's, which we bought off him four years ago. He was a nice well-behaved wolf, that never gave any trouble to speak of. I'm more surprised at him wanting to get out than any other animal in the place. But, there, you can't trust wolves any more than women."

"Don't you mind him, sir!" broke in Mrs. Tom, with a cheery laugh. "He's been minding the animals so long that bless him if he ain't like a old wolf himself! But there ain't no harm in him."

"Well, sir, it was about two hours after feeding yesterday when I first heard my disturbance. I was making up a litter in the monkey-house for a young puma which is ill; but when I heard the yelping and howling I went there straight away. There was Berserker tearing like a mad thing at the bars as if he wanted to get out. There weren't many people about that day, and close at hand was only one man, a tall, thin chap, with a hook nose and a pointed beard, with a few white hairs running through it. He had a hard, cold look and red eyes, and I took a sort of dislike to him, for it seemed as if it was him that they were irritated at. He had white kid gloves on his hands, and he pointed out the animals to me and said: 'Keeper, these wolves seem upset at something.'

"'Maybe it's you,' I said, for I did not like the airs he give himself. He didn't get angry, as I hoped he would, but he smiled a kind of insolent smile, with a mouth full of white, sharp teeth. 'Oh no, they wouldn't like me,' he said.

"'Oh yes, they would,' I said, imitating him. 'They always like a bone or two to clean their teeth on about tea-time, of which you have a bagful.'

"Well, it was a odd thing, but when the animals saw us talking they lay down, and when I went over to Berserker he let me stroke his ears same as ever. The man came over, and blessed but if he didn't put in his hand and stroke the old wolf's ears too!

"'Take care,' I said. 'Berserker is quick.'

"'Never mind,' he said. 'I'm used to them!'

"'Are you in the business yourself?' I said, taking off my hat, for a man that trades in wolves, etc, is a good friend to keepers.

"'No,' he said, 'not exactly in the business, but I have made pets of several.' And with that he lifted his hat as polite as a lord, and walked away. Old Berserker kept looking after him until he was out of sight, and then went and lay down in a corner and wouldn't come out the whole evening. Well, last night, as soon as the moon was up, the wolves here all began howling. There wasn't anything for them to howl at. There was no one near, except some one that was evidently calling a dog somewhere out back of the gardens in the Park road. Once or twice I went out to see that all was right, and it was, and then the howling stopped. Just before twelve o'clock I just took a look round before turning in, and, bust me, but when I came opposite to old Berserker's cage I saw the rails broken and twisted about and the cage empty. And that's all I know for certain."

"Did any one else see anything?"

"One of our gardeners was coming home about that time from a harmony, when he saw a big grey dog coming out through the garden hedges. At least, so he says, but I don't give much for it myself, for if he did he never said a word about it to his missus when he got home, and it was only after the escape of the wolf was made known, and we had been up all night hunting the Park for Berserker, that he remembered seeing anything. My own belief was that the harmony had gotten into his head."

"Now, Mr. Bilder, can you account in any way for the escape of the wolf?"

"Well, sir," he said, with a suspicious sort of modesty, "I think I can; but I don't know if you'd be satisfied with the theory."

"Certainly I shall. If a man like you, who knows the animals from experience, can't hazard a good guess at any rate, who is even to try?"

"Well then, sir, I account for it this way; it seems to me that wolf escaped—simply because he wanted to get out."

From the hearty way that both Thomas and his wife laughed at the joke I could see that it had done service before, and that the whole explanation was simply an elaborate sell. I couldn't cope in badinage with the worthy Thomas, but I thought I knew a surer way to his heart, so I said:—

"Now, Mr. Bilder, we'll consider that first half-sovereign worked off, and this brother of his is waiting to be claimed when you've told me what you think will happen."

"Right you are, sir," he said briskly. "You'll excuse me, I know, for teasing you, but the old woman here winked at me, which was as much as telling me to go on."

"Well, I never!" said the old lady.

"My opinion is this: that wolf is hiding, somewhere. The gardener that didn't remember said he was galloping northward faster than a horse could go; but I don't believe him, for, you see, sir, wolves don't gallop any more than dogs do, their not being built that way. Wolves are fine things in a storybook, and I daresay when they get in packs and go chasing something that's more afraid than they are, they can make a devil of a noise and chop it up, whatever it is. But, Lord bless you, in real life a wolf is only a low creature, not half so clever or bold as a good dog; and not half a quarter so much fight in him. This one isn't used to fighting or even to providing for himself, and more likely he's somewhere round the Park hiding and shivering, and, if he thinks at all, wondering where he's going to get his breakfast from; or maybe he's got down some area and is in a coal-cellar. My eye, won't some cook get a shock when she sees his green eyes shining at her out of the dark! If he can't get food he's bound to look for it, and perhaps he may chance to light on a butcher's shop in time. If he doesn't, and some nursemaid goes walking off with a soldier, leaving the infant in the pram—well, then I shouldn't be surprised if the census is one baby the less. That's all."

I was handing him the half-sovereign, when something came bobbing up against the window, and Mr. Bilder's face doubled its natural length with surprise.

"God bless me!" he said. "If it isn't old Berserker come back by himself!"

He went to the door and opened it; a most unnecessary proceeding it seemed to me. I have always thought that a wild animal never looks so well as when some obstacle of pronounced durability is between us; a personal experience has intensified rather than diminished that idea.

After all, however, there is nothing like custom, for neither Bilder nor his wife thought any more of the wolf than I should of a dog. The animal itself was as peaceful and well-behaved as that father of all picture-wolves—Red Riding Hood's quondam friend, whilst moving her confidence in masquerade.

The whole scene was an unutterable mixture of comedy and pathos. The wicked wolf that for half a day had paralysed London and set all the children in the town shivering in their shoes, was there in a sort of penitent mood, and was received and petted like a sort of vulpine prodigal son. Old Bilder examined him all over with most tender solicitude, and when he had finished with his penitent said:—

"There, I knew the poor old chap would get into some kind of trouble; didn't I say it all along? Here's his head all cut and full of broken glass. He's been getting over some damned wall or other. It's a shame that people are allowed to top their walls with broken bottles. This here is what comes of it. Come along, Berserker."