#and how does all of that affect gender
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it also once again makes me painfully aware of the woes of being a dragon age dwarf enjoyer (<- being starved for proper lore) 😔
#cant believe they will just say yeah they have all these very strict rules and structures that dictates pretty much all life in orzammar#(and even outside of orzammar!)#and then didnt even think through how that would affect society and life and everything let alone give us more info on it#lay rambles#literally even the 'children take on the caste of their same sex parent' which comparatively comes up very early and very frequently#and is a pretty damn significant part of how orzammar is structured!#is very obviously not thought through#because that would have a huge impact on the balance of sexes in different houses and on caste and family relations#among other things#or how orzammar is desperate for children and yet if a child is born casteless the casteless status is still more important#the combination of how important social standing is but also they cant let casteless die out because they are integral to how orzammar func#*functions#in general the role of the casteless is so juicy and interesting honestly#or say. how does a society that puts so much value in reproduction treat those who cannot reproduce#and how does all of that affect gender#is there a separate role/gender/whatever for people who cant have children?#would they be ostracised because of it or maybe even held in high regard bc they are the ones who can do The Dangerous Jobs#like joining the forces who protect the thaig against darkspawn or mine lyrium without having to risk loss of fertility?#(but would then ofc be *expected* to take on those jobs)#would it make women be held in higher regard and men more expendable?#imagine if houses had matriarchs who have a lot of social influence and power regardless of their actual rank within the house#because they successfully produced and raised a lot of children#but yeah idk i'm just rambling now lol#dragon age dwarves are cool i wish bioware wouldn't forget them all the time. is what i'm saying
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In Stars And Time? More like In Ace And Gender
+ some alts
#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#josh art tag#happy pride yall!#getting to play as a nonbinary protag who is also ace was just so so cool#im hoping to draw the main 6 with their flags for pride#cuz this game and its lgbt-ness makes me so happy and its awesome that its canon!#i also really love the varied relevancy of the lgbt themes#cuz its certainly not the plot of the story#but some characters lgbt-ness is quite important to their backstory or their current struggles!#while for others its just kinda there!!#and i think thats great#its a good reflection of real life and how different people have different experiences being lgbt and how it affects their lives differently#and works well with the story#it doesnt get in the way at all while still being important to the characters#and it even fits into the worldbuilding so well????#truly if there were no mentions of the Gender Themes i think the worldbuilding wouldnt have been quite as good#mirabelle specifically really gets to me...#prolly cuz im. yknow. aroace too#but seeing how she felt she was betraying her religion? how she fept she needed to change to fit other peoples expectations?#and how earlier in the game she does actually say breaking traditions is also a part of the change belief#but she doesnt realize that can extend to her#it all hits really hard for me
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Misogyny and sexism are not and never have been synonyms. That’s not all of what’s meant by sexism. Literally just take two minutes to look up the term. It’s prejudice or discrimination against people on the basis of their sex (often expanded to include their gender). Plenty of them make sure to specify that it can affect men.
Here’s an example of its use from APA: “We define sexism as individuals' attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors, and organizational, institutional, and cultural practices that either reflect negative evaluations of individuals based on their gender or support unequal status of women and men…it is important to acknowledge all levels of analyses are intertwined and both women and men experience sexism.”
#yeah they always specify it’s usually against women because it usually is we live under patriarchy!!#but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect other genders/sexes?#sexism requires making assumptions about how people amab and people afab should act — assumed to mean men and women respectively—& as such#all sexism is an inextricable part of transphobia. transmisogyny is based in sexism against women AND against men#people considered men EVEN IF THEY ARE MEN experience sexism when they receive prejudice and discrimination for#wearing ‘women’s clothes’ or otherwise presenting femininely or just have any traits not considered to match their sex/gender#people have been dismissing the idea of ‘misandry’ affecting trans women but. it was from my trans woman gf that I learned it does#transandrophobia#transmisogyny#exorsexism#transphobia#intracommunity issues tag#transfeminism#sexism#rb#queue
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no one knows pain like a transfem roman believer with entirely ambivalent feelings towards romencken
#op#succession#the thing is. its arguably not the most substantiated reading#but romans character shifts wildly from writer to writer#like people are surprised by jesse calling him a 'classic playboy' when the show does everything to disprove that#but its like. yeah lol he didnt write romans arc! roman was passed between dozens of screenwriters all of whom have vastly different#perspectives on who he is. thats how we get romans characterization changing so much btwn seasons and even episodes#so anyway all readings are an attempt to recuperate this meta discordance#and i personally think that him being transfem is the most interesting wrt how it affects the larger themes of gender in the show#but also. i cant share in these feelings bc the entire circle of people who agree with me are passionate romencken fans and i simply dgaf
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Ty for answering my asks! Recently, I saw some fanart of the gender bendered crew and it got me curios, how much would the plot change if Jimmy was a woman. I mean, she would still be emotionally abusive (esp to Fem!Curly), but at lest, I guess, the crash would've never happened (?)
Also, her relationship w/ Anya: if she was assulted still, it prolly would've been dissmissed, since it's between 2 women. Or, if Anya is male in this scenario, he couldn't really be able to talk abt it, since society decided that "women can't r*pe men", so it's not serious and he should suck it up. Man, it's just sucks to be Anya in any scenario my poor girl 😭
What do you think? If you have an opinion on that at all, that is
-💀
I think the scenario's where the gender was flipped or any level of gender based intersectionality is expanded makes it so much more complex.
If this is the scenario with fem!Jimmy, it comes with the territory of questionable internalized homophobia. Does Jimmy brush it off in this scenario because she doesn't think lesbian encounters are real ones? Is she struggling with her identity and taking it out on Anya who may be openly queer compared a fem!Curly who is either straight or just not interested in Jimmy? Perhaps it's a sort of weird entitled that can occur in female dominated spaces "We're both girls, I know what you have, it won't matter." It's still is something I don't see Jimmy denying in this scenario, he never really denies it in canon just talks around it with Curly. Here I can see it's less about the pregnancy and more so about the internalized homophobia. Not seeing Anya as anything but an unwanted aspect of her femineity and the allure of it, there's a lot more objectification of both Curly and Anya in this alteration as I would believe feels better thinking of them in that light if they are just fodder in her mind. Guilty pleasures that no longer bring her such. It's a careful situation because I don't want this to fall into predatory lesbian stereotyping, Jimmy is just a person who does not respect other people or their choice, if it conflict with what he wants or perceived is owed.
The idea of Curly having to report it and outing her not only as a rapist but queer and the denial, especially in the case Anya and Curly are both out as she feels a sort of resentment she can't be secure with herself that way. If it is masc!Curly, there could be the jealousy of him being able to actively pursue relationships he wants while she feels she can't, Anya and Curly playfully flirt, its casual but it's something she longs for in the same way she doesn't. She obsesses over Curly because she wishes she could be Curly in a social sense in both aspect male or female Curly.
If it's fem!Jimmy and masc!Anya? It's a much more delicate situation. In this scenario Jimmy gets pregnant. Maybe Anya does a blood test after the incident and finds out Jimmy is pregnant. It's a very sensitive matter because if it's fem!Curly her first assumption is Anya may have done something. That is just the immediate assumptions in cases like this. I think the fact that Anya is telling her would make Curly think it's not that simple, especially since Jimmy isn't brining it up or really caring but everyone reacts differently. Jimmy is pregnant however, and that's a big deal, she'll figure that out eventually on her own but how will she react? Curly knows it won't be good, Anya knows too.
I think the crash is instigated in this scenerio by fem!Curly actually doing more, refusing to sweep it under the rug because she can conceptualize that fear, likely she and Jimmy are the only girls on board. She trusts everyone, well did trust everyone, but it's just something you live with. She can't just live with that double standard but I feel like she really doesn't know how to address it. How does she bring it up to superiors without implicating Anya? What does she do with Jimmy, it still feels like she's catering to Jimmy but now the concern is primarily focused on the life this baby will be born into. If it is born at all. I don't think Jimmy would try to kill Anya in this concept but try to spin the narrative it was mutual up until she got pregnant. Curly doesn't really buy it but it's a lot of processing, a lot more he said she said but what Jimmy is saying just doesn't make sense. It gives Jimmy too much time to really settle with the fact she's pregnant and likely can't support a kid nor wants to give birth out in space. Jimmy feeling like she's being othered from the only other woman could also be a factor, maybe even starting into her thinking Curly is behaving like a "pick-me" for siding with a guy over her. The crash is more spiteful in terms of having to protect herself alone, due to Curly not outright supporting her delusions.
It really adds a certain horror to Jimmy's pregnancy hallucinations because after the crash they are about her, her symptoms the sign of showing. She doesn't want the child either and considering what being pregnant can do to your mental/physical state, especially some of the more negative symptoms, I doubt she is handling it well. A lot of Anya's struggles are with the stigmas around male victims. His body reacted so did he want it? He's gonna be a father and courts likely will make him pay or care for the baby even if they take Anya's side, their world is just like that. Would the other's blame him for not doing more, he is a man after all? Should he be considered lucky a woman was that into him? It's eating away at him because not only does he not feel safe, he actively blames himself.
In the case Curly is still a cis guy, its that weird feeling guys often get when talking about male victims of assault. I don't think he'd victim blame but he likely asks or thinks about how it could've happened, why wouldn't Anya just overpower Jimmy? Maybe he couldn't? Maybe Anya didn't have it in him to strike a woman. He wouldn't. Now he thinks of what he would have done if Jimmy did something like that to him. SImilary to my trans!Curly post, he's wondering if it could've been him. It's likely one of the first times in his life he has to think of that type of vulnerability in terms of himself and other men and against likely his girl best friend. I think that arm pat right before Jimmy crashes the ship would really make him feel weird, not like he'd have the time to really dig into those feeling but y'know WERE GONNA CRASH!!!.
In terms of Jimmy and Curly's specific relationship, it just gets messier if they aren't both guys or girls. There's a lot of misogny on Jimmy's side with fem!Curly. He often points out she's a woman captain or makes a point of her being one of the few independent woman in her field and how certain men hate that. It's insidious but Curly doesn't think about or like to cause she likes to believe Jimmy isn't one of those guys. He can be a bit antiquated, maybe a bit of a pig but no ones perfect! Here a lot of his resentment is more gear toward a woman having that power over him as Captain/filling the typical male roles he fails at. He can't stand that she's above him in almost aspect and he likely takes it out on other women. Similarly, fem!Jimmy and cis Curly is just as bad. It's a fact of not knowing if she wants to be him, wants him or wants to destroy him. It's obsession without anything positive. She feels entitled to his space and life and time and he has a hard time setting up boundaries cause, well, Jimmy's a girl, his bestfriend and it comes with all the stigmas around boygirl best friends. To him it's a sort of oppressive doting, he feels wrong telling her not to pick and like he's being controlling. That's how she'd spin it whenever he'd try to make boundaries with her.
They are still just friends but most people can't tell even if they can tell it's not healthy, in both cases. Either way I feel like if they were opposite genders to each other there would a specific infatuation Jimmy would have with Curly that would be less hidden but sort of unaddressed because the idea of Curly rejecting them would make them lash out in a way Curly may just leave for their safety. It's also Jimmy wouldn't want to be with Curly specifically but just want what would consistently provide/available.
If they are both girls, its envy. It's that sort of hate that someone fits the standards you don't, wanting them to be picked second or crack. She likes to get into Curly's head, point out flaws and act like it's just her being helpful. She wants Curly to be a girls girl but only for her. There's a sort of possessiveness like purposely jeopardizing relationships because why would a man come first? That girl hates me and is a pick me, why are you friends with her still, Curly? Like this is silly but think about how Regina George treats Gretchen Wieners and that's effectively how fem!Curly and fem!Jimmy would work but technically Curly has the sway of Regina.
I believe the crash would always happen. Jimmy would try to escape responsibility or really thinking about what they did in any world, any gender. It's about facing the consequences, losing things he refuses to let go of or having to deal with responsibilities he's not ready for. The switching of sex or gender really doesn't change those core aspects.
#this is long cause theres so many ideas to play with here and how jimmy and Curly would work but the specifc things happening with Anya#like if she wasnt pregnant thats a relief but its the sort of situation where she has to think about her own sexuality in the scenerio shes#queer and how Jimmy affect her. Its addressing it with Curly who may get it but maybe she gets it too much maybe its hard to hear about Jim#cause for all she knew Jimmy was straight and now she has to think of all the odd conversations and nights they shared beds and maybe#feelings she had but she has to focus on putting Anya first but what does she do? Outing someone is bad but this can be dismmised?#Would the pony express just punish both anya and jimmy and curly what if theres a dont ask dont tell policy? what if they dont care cause#they are all women. its not an issue if its just girls not getting along after “experimenting”. Back to male Anya and female Jimmy they wil#assume it was consensual and anya just doesnt want the kid often that is pushed on male rape narratives. Jimmy is pregnant and on edge#does Curly also have to factor in the child? I feel like the feast scene would be Jimmy delusionally thinking Curly is helping support the#child i mean he is the most well off the bread winner he puts food on the table he is the food! Would polle being Anya talk about how Jimmy#doesnt have it in her to foster a child to support one emotionally without damage? Why so focused on making Curly the idealized male#or provider in her life when she went after him? For female Curly is it envy that she did this to herself and Curly has even more prospects#than her now? What if Anya was fawning because he didn't want the kid but hated the idea of Jimmy killing it to spite him? Or perhaps using#it as a means of control because even if he doesn't want it i doubt he wants it to be punished or abused. It is a burden something no one#wanted but it is being fostered five months in and Jimmys showing a bump and Anya cant ignore all the implications of it being born to her#maybe he kills himself to avoid living in a world its subjected to that pain to to save himself from it. GOD the pills with Curly are worse#for male Anya fem!Curly because its so much more direct he cant shove something down a womans throat who is clearly unwilling it makes#him feel like Jimmy to watch her struggle against him and he cant do it and with Jimmy it is so much more direct about a mother feeding#theri child and abusing it like the nuance if any gender flipping was canon would tear this fandom apart now imma thinking crazy about this#thanks skull anon like really ur asks get me thinking#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#💀 anon#ask#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing
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imagine thinking that trans men are inherently bad or evil or predatory on the basis of gendered privilege and societal power structures. cringe
#transmasc discourse#like the idea that trans men gain male privilege and kick down the ladder to beat on the queer community is astonishingly stupid at best#the idea that transphobia or queerphobia as a whole doesn't affect them because they're Assimilating With The Oppressors is like#man fucking what is up with people yknow#gender essentialism is fucked up and it's the same force that's beaten down on bi ace and transfem people#the fact that this has turned into 'trans rights but only for the women' by some dumb-fuck shitstains is awful#no. trans rights for all.#like let me explain what I mean here: trans men aren't seen as men by transphobes#it's not 'oh you're a fella? crack a cold beer and let's bash some gays'. passing as a man has just as much risk to it as passing as a woman#because a man who will attack a trans woman as someone who is not a woman will most likely attack a trans man he does not see as a man#with the same violence he might level against a cis woman#that's just on the masc side. i can't speak for any violence against trans men by cis women but I can see how cis women discredit trans men#by claiming them as Lost Lesbians and Sisters In Arms who've been lost due to the Trans Agenda#like people shit on bi people because they have 'passing privilege'. but we know that bi people face homophobia#and other issues about their orientation. the idea that trans men get their Boys Will Be Boys card is to focus on a tiny selection#that *potentially* has the power to he a shithead - like a queerphobic asexual person or a malicious bi person#and paint an entire group of diverse people as literally the worst interpretation you can imagine about them#like consider that you have your own issues and/or biases in regards to people you like and want to hang out with#and stop calling entire groups of people invaders and oppressors whose entire goal is to upend the community#and turn the power of queer people against them#i understand how it feels to feel powerless and to have somewhere where you feel supported and safe#but if you're going to see pain and hate in every group who shares your experience but gives you an ick for whatever reason#there's a solid chance that the Righteous Crusade against them is - in fact - your own personal dislike wielding a modicum of power#that essentially functions the same way that hetero- and cis-normative standards and people have rejected you.#it is essentially you becoming the bully. and just like bi and ace and transfem people before I won't stand for it#trans men are my people.
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The coolest gender thing in the 2009 Japanese video game persona 3 100% how hard they coded shinjiro as the dead mom
#.txt#i got soooo mad in the car driving home thinking about how his drug addiction is essentially the classic anime heart condition.#in that the only side effect of the suppressants is that they will kill him. like?#i realized for the longest time i had assumed the chest pain and sweating came from the drugs but thats. castor. obviously.#it doesnt affect his mood or his awareness its like a mood stabilizer pain relief pill?#its so odd that hes framed as like. being addicted to illegal street drugs. BY THE NARRATIVE.#when its more like hes on the most insane experimental medication that they wont even test on like. rats.#also im not fact checking any of this before posting. so i might be lying about things.#idk if it was all of strega that had trouble controlling their personas but like. chidori was because of the Experimentation.#and shinjis just like. mentally ill coded. in a bad way 😭#The inability to regulate a mood/stimuli to the point where he can be unsafe to himself or others.#broad ass symptom of disorders that are not treated well. its also interesting that its not brought on by a specific event.#like the childhood fire is there. but you have akihiko right there to directly compare it to. and hes arguably more effected by it all.#and he seems to be coping well 10+ years on like some coping mechanisms are kind of weird (protein) but nothing super out of the ordinary.#so the problem is really the october 4th incident which was just a pure honest to god accident.#the fact that it gets covered up as a car accident does feel like the best like. emotional equivalent.#because it being shinji being unable to control his persona his true representation of himself and it resulting in death is sooooo bleak#and it weighs on him for 2+ years of being suicidal and unhoused until finally he goes through with his suicide by martyrdom.#i lost the plot a little bit on the gender situation with the vague allusions to fraility when story convenient#acting as dorm den mother and cooking and sewing long hair jacket sillhouette reading like a dress#was referring to that before mental illness took over. woman under the influencing this anime boy.#long way of saying i think he should have a over the shoulder ponytail when hes older. and he should have a mood disorder.
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congrats on writing the fic that made a man text his (sort of estranged) dad. fr your portrayal of every single dynamic is so flawless and considerate. nobel prize.
THAT ACTUALLY DOES FEEL LIKE AN ACCOMPLISHMENT... i hope it goes well anon!!!
there's a lot to be said about people who did the wrong things but feel genuine remorse and want to get better, i think. i've been there (though not in a parent sense), and it's also what happened with my mom after i moved out, so i guess i kind of know how it is from both angles. on top of, you know, just writing what i know of who chilchuck is as a person (and assuming a lot of things about meijack and the others, lmao...)
#tox answers#tox.txt#fic: promises to keep#i've never known my biological father and atp my step-dad can eat lead paint for all i care#but dynamics aren't as gender-locked as people think they are anyway so my experience works fine for what i need#i think chilchuck is a very good and very flawed person (ryoko kui is super good at writing nuanced characters)#he wants to improve not only for himself but for those he cares about... but the way that manifests in canon is something of a winding road#in promises i tweaked a bunch of story elements and then asked myself how i thought that'd change his responses#if he knew from the outset why his wife left him would he then have a better understanding of what he needed to change about himself?#in a world with cellphones it was easy for him to reach out in the moment#in canon i think even if he knew where she went immediately... by the time he went looking the anger would have set in#so even if he wanted answers i'm not sure he'd have been willing to listen at that point#this is what's fun about AUs to me--putting characters in situations they've never been in canonically (or altering the ones they were in)#and then asking “how does this affect their response? how does my understanding of them piece together with this new situation”#every individual choice in the setting and to the lore of the world affects how these known dynamics will play out#whoops wrote an essay in the tags. GOMENASAI
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Everyone’s all “nonbinary is included in every sexuality” until a nonbinary person who is on hormones prefers men who like men and women who like women and all of a sudden I’m being problematic and offensive to…….. well everyone I guess
#WhoGive A Rats Ass#like genuinely why the fuck does anyone care omg why is this a big deal#I’m not being offensive to other transmascs by fucking lesbians like i never said you all need to or you all should or you all want to#it’s MY LIFE….. how is my very personal sex and love life affecting every transmasc in the world ITS NOT….#it’s your problem for seeing me as a binary trans guy when I’m not I just am on t and use he/him pronouns. like whatever bro omg#like ok. it’s MY OWN CHOICE that I would fuck a lesbian im ok with that. that’s just me! the ftm reading this is not involved.#im not going around fucking parading that transmascs should fuck lesbians this is literally just my personal life and choices#and if lesbians want me and gay guys want me (which they both do) THATS FUN FOR ME AND I LIKE IT BECAUSE IM NOT A BINARY TRANS PERSON….#anyways yeah so I’m bisexual but not in the traditional sense. just let me live I’m so sick of reading posts bashing people like me#sorry that I have the lived experience of being a dyke and I’m into dykes who are into dykes.#sorry that I’m also kind of attracted to men but only men who will acknowledge and respect and be attracted to my masculinity.#everyone wants to support gender fluidity and sexuality fluidity until someone is actually being fluid lmfao like honestly!!!
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how i wake up knowin lgbt ppl have lost all the specks of rights we've ever had in this country & no one will ever talk abt our issues other than ourselves cuz we r worthless in the eyes of current world
#like how does it feel to know yr not able to start any kind of HRT or have any kind of gender affirming surgeries or even#change yr legal gender & names#n very recentlly they banned lgbt contents EVERYWHERE. before that point it was bqnned under the guise of protecting children so it mosrly#affected very public things & family friendly n children oriented things but its all wide ban now#its always been extremely dangerous for us here but its gotten So so much worse#id love to see this damned country burn down to the ground as much as the next one#but im tired of ppl pretendin their activism us good activism when they r ready to throw away millions of#minorities suffering in silence all cause of what the government decides to do#n its especially tiring as someonr from an immigrant family realisin bein brought up in the other country wud alleviate like a lot of#those current issues but i cant tell u
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all the quiz questions for this one class i'm taking are about social cues and how gender/sexes influence people...i'm too autism for this class
#i don't get it at all#i've been stuck on these questions for 2 weeks#and it's due tomorrow#how does gender affect someone's choice to get a hair cut??#what message does body proximity send??#get me out of community studies please#if only community studies was about the tv show#autism
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generally i am not a very problematic queer person because i tend to live and let live when it comes to things (being on the receiving end of ace discourse + actually examining respectability politics + realizing that things don't fucking matter in real life really puts things into perspective lmao i'm not worried about kicking people out of the club for not like. idk. following absurd playground rules.) and therefore i do not talk about things much online HOWEVER. i think i could Become a very problematic queer person if i talked more about queer stuff online because letting people go about their lives is a VERY radical stance to take on the internet. wait until you hear how chill i am about gender and word use. i could be the controversy
#anyway while you were busy policing queer people's word use i studied the blade#and hung out with cooler trans people than you'll ever have the honor of exchanging a word with in your life#+ i think we should just let people have their microlabels [ spooky ghost noises ]#like jesus christ how much does it really affect you#NONE. is the answer. it affects you none.#if internet mfers learned about respectability politics we would live in a very different society dfkgjsh#girl if they didn't respect you in the first place you're not gonna get extra credit for running the furries over yourself#we're past throwing people under the bus. you mfers are driving it.#also with the bi and pan thing. first of all people can use whatever terms they want to describe their experience.#SECOND of all oh my fucking god don't redefine other people's words for them.#third of all trans/nonbinary is not a gender :/#also obvi ace/aro people are queer. yes even the straight aces/aros.#if you're an ace exclusionist genuinely kill yourself idc anymore#get a fucking hobby or die. there are options#valentine notes
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still not over the time i told a recent friend (now recent bf) i liked his shirt (pale blue-grey polo w narrow white horizontal stripes, compliments his fluffy light brown hair + hazel eyes) and several lunch walks later he said he can’t remember the last time someone complimented him on his outfit. i think my heart audibly cracked
#where to even start with this like.#HE LOOKS GOOD. FREQUENTLY.#he matches the accent colors of his band tees to his pants and/or shoes. my fave combo rn is#the black The Who tee (white and red lettering on both sides) + cream shorts + black sneakers w red accents#he does the accent matching thing subconsciously btw. i pointed out ''your sneaks match the shirt that's cool'' he was like ''oh they do''#no one ever said anything huh#my understanding is dudes are hesitant to compliment other dudes bc they fear being called gay for it. classic homophobia making life worse#first and foremost for gay ppl but also for the straights#and women are hesitant to compliment dudes bc they worry he'll take it as flirting. classic heteronormative#''women and men can't be just friends'' + ''she asked for it'' garbage making life worse first and foremost for women but also for men#and yeah also all genders of trans and/or enby folks may be hesitant to compliment guys bc they fear being hatecrimed. can ya blame em??#look at the fucking statistics#on the one hand not being constantly judged for their presentation is a win for men. i love the compliments but it's also unnerving how#ready ppl are to appraise my appearance#that said it sucks that men getting pos attention for looking nice on the daily is so rare#all that suit hype yet no love for subtle accent matching. sweet kicks. a good sturdy jacket. FLANNELS#also would it kill us to tell guys their facial hair looks good? multiple guys ive dated have asked my opinion on their facial hair choices#before stating what their preference is. i'd get asking out of curiosity or wanting to know how it affects the kissing texture#but dude. man. my guy. people who love you will kiss you anyway even if it's a lil fuzzier than they prefer.#what's important is you like it#idk how to condense all this into occasional normal compliments anymore i just tell#bunny boy#his hair is pretty and his taste in band Ts fucks and spend 30 seconds curling and uncurling his fingers bc his hands are nice#sigh#snowswords
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Boring personal waffle perhaps BUT something I love about fashion and music is that both can have such a huge impact on how you feel and see yourself. When I dress a certain way and listen to a certain type of music, it makes me feel like a certain type of person. That impacts how I move and speak and hold myself, which in turn impacts how other people perceive me. Both fashion and music can be tools for reinvention in that sense - or tools for broadcasting your interests and values. I can try out different personas this way, figure out which ones feel comfortable, which ones give me a confidence boost, which ones help me to move in the world in a way that feels authentic to me. In that sense it makes total sense to me that subcultures in fashion and music have always been tightly interlinked.
#it’s so interesting to me like I’ve explored a lot of different musical genres and fashion subcultures / aesthetics#but there are recurring themes across medium and genre in terms of what I seem to gravitate towards#eg despite living on the coast my entire life I’ve never been a particularly beachy gworl#and at various points I’ve experimented with more boho beachy fashion and surf rock / psychedelic rock type music#but neither of them have ever really stuck or felt like ‘me’#instead I’m consistently drawn to a mixture of ‘alt’/punk and academic/preppy fashion#which in turn reflects my academic career and interest in punk and post punk music#and you don’t need to dress any particular way to be intelligent or be in academia or enjoy punk music or hold anti establishment values#but for me personally there’s a sort of mutually reinforcing synergy between all of these things#also let’s not even get into how all of this affects gender presentation and identity 👀#idk how to explain it but listening to feral punk music and dressing like a teenage dirtbag feels very gender to me#like I don’t want to be a man but maybe I want to be a mad lad. a bit of a larrikin.#like why does it suddenly make me feel okay about having facial and body hair…..
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tired of pretending that "sex changes" by the dresden dolls isn't a Damn Good Song
#the framing of Having Sex For The First Time as a pandora's box -- something to be dreaded --#ushering a change as irrevocable as bottom surgery --#idk it taps into a lot of the anxieties i had as a teen -- closeted and unknowingly dysphoric -- about the looming spectre of Sex#like when i was in college finally understanding that my peers were actually out there sucking n fucking --#and observing how str8 cis ppl of the gender i thought I was would act when it came to sex#& fearing that if i were to have sex it would make me Become Like Them (monstrous)#it sucked! esp as somebody who CRAVED affection and romance with an intensity available only to the touch-starved and emotionally isolated#realizing that my chances of fulfilling those desires would likely come at the cost of making myself sexually available#in the manner dictated by the gender roles of my AGAB -- which filled me with dread#and idk no other art has reflected and validated that dread from my youth quite like ''THEY ALWAYS SAY THAT SEX WILL CHANGE YOU#CHANGE YOU#CHANGE YOU''#now was amanda way the fuck out of line for using the framing of bottom surgery for shock value essentially? ofc#almost everything she says and does is out of line#cis person of all time tbh#but it doesnt change the fact that this one song goes hard on every level -- lyrical and musical and metaphorical and all those other guys#me.jpg#the discourse#blogging while trans
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thinking Abt Suguru autism and struggling bc I have forgotten 1. Everything Suguru has ever done 2. Every symptom of autism ever and then I remembered Suguru fucking. Knows every curse he's swallowed. And it's like y'know what maybe I don't have to make an airtight case for this
#JJK#look at this now.#Genuinely I hc that while he hates curses he's also fascinated by them bc I feel like it'd be hard not to be when u eat em#Anyways the main thing that makes me go "🫵 autistic'' is his like. Moral compass stuff#Bc it's very relatable in black/white thinking and potentially issues with empathy (low and high). Which isn't to say the reason he's a#Horrible person w horrible worldviews is bc he's autistic but rather that bc he's in an environment that 1. Is very socially isolating#2. Supports very black/white worldviews and 3. Is obsessed with strength. I'm just saying he probably latched onto those ideas#Very strongly (esp bc this environment he feels Understood- grew up the only sorcerer in his family and prob like. Whole environment)#And in a lot of ways it feels like his morality is formed by ''going through the motions'' like how he keeps saying ''the strong should#Protect the weak'' and also being shitty to Utahime for being ''weak'' and also like. Y'know becomes a weird abusive cult leader#Who views the weak as subhuman. Like it feels like he was taught that and didn't have the context to fully critically analyze#Those ideas and form his own sense of morality and instead he just kept repeating it hoping it would stick or smthn#Also let me be honest. He gives off the vibes of an autistic person Overcompensating for flat affect sometimes. Idk how to describe it#Anyway knowing all ur 4k+ cursed spirits is. Nuts. Is he okay (no)#Also something Abt how. Even though he hates it. He still does his routine of exorcise/absorb even after his whole shit#Something something strong sense of morality + inability to change routine. Idk. And when I say the morality thing I don't mean#That he has a good moral code just that he has a very Intense moral code#Geto has ''girl'' autism#As in he learned to mask and internalize his symptoms#And Gojo has ''boy'' autism#As in he never really had to learn to mask (and likely wouldn't be able to)#Note girl and boy r in quotes bc. Gendered autism is bullshit but I'm specifically thinking Abt Geto being very internal#In a way Gojo isn't. And potentially some like... Resentment/judgement/jealousy bc of it#(like ''why can't you mask better you look like a freak'' internalized Ableism and ''i wish i could b weird the way ur#Allowed to be (bc of powerful family and position in jujutsu)'' beggining recognition of external Ableism#Anyway I could yap Abt Geto and Gojo and how I think they're both mentally and physically disabled#And how while Gojo's privileges (rich + powerful) let him mitigate some effects of Ableism (at the same time his position as a famous#Sorcerer connected to a family with a Reputation definitely is restrictive in its own ways) Geto probably internalized a lot of general#Societal Ableism prior to getting involved in jujutsu and has Not unlearned that shit and ends up externalizing Ableism (lateral violence#Is a term I've been thinking of w him). Anyway Shoko is also autistic and physically disabled and I hc that she isolates herself because of
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