#it has this air of seeking permission from others to be the way you are

[starpros-sunshine]

Why can't queer people just exist? Why do we have to 'Come Out'? Why do we have to stick a label onto everything so that other people can better understand it? Why does our existence have to be a statement?

[evilminji]

Still hung up on my "what unusual, unexpected, Non-Violent ways could an SI-OC COMPLETELY Fuck up the Millennium Long Sith Plan by accident?" Ponderings...

Cause mine? Is still? Holo-net YouTube equivalent star. Cause being a child is boring.

And being a PEACEFUL MONK CHILD? When you are used to "go go GO! Earn your right to EXSIST! Pay for that air and the water YOU BREATHE!" Capitalist hellscape life? Constantly inundated with ads and horrible news and stimulus of all kinds?

Only for it all to STOP?

Twitchy. Very, very twitchy. Unable to sit still. That on TOP of knowing what's coming but knowing they don't really have the power or influence to stop it? Like mental torture.

Sure. We all WANT peace... but would we actually know what to DO with it? Know how to handle being truely sheltered and allowed REST? Or would it be nice for a few days before it became a hell of understimulation?

Thus! Holonet. A desperate bid for STIMULUS! Feral, grabby handed, little youngling that has been doing the emotional equivalent of "AaaaaaAAAAAAA-" for WEEKS? Keeps escaping to desperately claw their way into everything, get caught, only to hiss like an enraged tooka the WHOLE way back to the creche? Whom EVERYONE is actually quite concerned for? Because this is NEW and started after some sort of Force event?

But? The SECOND, the very INSTANT they get their hands on a Forbidden Holonet Connection and can connect to the wider 'Net?

Calm.

Somehow, a ten hour compilation of Zrkthakkik's greatest hits? Are working better then meditation. They're finally still. Finally at peace. Don't even seem to truly be listening? Just... letting the sound wash over them. Huh. Focused on that tooka video, huh, youngling? No, no! Not going to take it from you! Just want to... to understand.

And I mean? If it helps, it helps? Obviously it must be SUPERVISED. Because their are creeps out there. Horrors. But? If it brings peace? *everyone shrugs* they've accommodated stranger.

So the kiddo gets to keep it.

They improve, mentally and emotionally. But, as with all healing? They plateau. Just HAVING it is no longer enough. They wish in ENGAGE. Some argue this is drug like behavior. Should be stopped. Others say it is clearly SOCIAL behavior, that they are seeking to connect, create. Something that should be carefully guided, not shamed.

And really, do you honestly think the youngling will STOP if you try to take it away?

Better to control the development of this. Moniter. Get to the root of it and help them meditate upon their "need" for such things. IS it a need? A desire? Why?

Honestly, it's like none of you have dealt with younglings before!

So they get their Holonet accounts. Supervised by a rotation of Knights and Master, but still! Great for asking random questions! Getting answers! Galactic memes! The Net suddenly has a jedi youngling they can @ and possibly GET A RESPONSE FROM.

"Hey! Mini-Jedi! Why the FUCK do they do that THING? You know, the *describes behavior*?" "Oh THAT? That's a Force thing. It's kinda like listening to comms, but in your head, and it's coming from the universe who's trying to lead you towards the Best Outcome. And No, we don't know what that is either. That's why we're monks, my dude. We gotta rely on Faith. I can send you a paper that explains it better if ya want?"

Like? Yes. Pls post the Forbidden Mysterious Jedi Papers. Give us the Secrets™. NO ONE knows JACK SHIT about Jedi? Gib. Wikileaks that shit, tiny Jedi child! Be the hero we all badly want but don't deserve, with your tiny adorable child hands!

But like? It's... it's not even a secret? It's just years of Sith and Republic born obfuscation? Making finding ANYTHING damn near impossible? Gaining ACCESS to the Jedi's legitimately FREE library and archives?? Almost impossible?

So like.... OKAY.

Sure.

I'll uuuuuh, just? James Bond my way, in broad daylight, passed Madam Nu, in full line of sight, to download that paper legally and with her permission? Very sneaky. High stakes mission. MASTER of stealth, that I am? Uuuuuuh, here you go, I guess?

You know what? Fuck it. Here's like? Everything ELSE that was on that terminal.

Go nuts.

And of course, they DO go nuts. Free Mysterious Jedi Knowledge! ABOUT JEDI! Explaining their WEIRD JEDI SHIT! And it DIDN'T take like five years and more forms then conquering a small planet! FUCK YEAH!

Is the senate upset? Yes. Someone BROKE their needlessly convoluted LAWS! But what are they going to do? Charge a itty, bitty, BABY CHILD? Of course not! So it has to be whoever was in charge of them. And that IS...?

.......you know? Suddenly? None of the Jedi can quite recall.

Do YOU remember? Master Fisto? No? Master Windu? No? Ah, but surely Master Yoda! No? Oh dear~! Well SOMEBODY was surely watching the youngling. If only we could recall whom. You know, Senators, when we find out, we will SURELY get RIGHT back to you. *click*

They will not.

But SI is grounded. No more Wikileaks-ing... that's now the Shadows job. And a near feral with delight, Madame Nu. The Order OBVIOUSLY can't be involved in that. For OBVIOUS reasons. That's breaking the LAW. They would NEVER... no matter HOW stupid the law is. Nor HOW directly contradictory to Jedi philosophy it is. Nope! We, the jedi, are VERY law abiding.

Find something ELSE to occupy your time.

OKAY. :)

Holo-tube culture? Very different from YouTube culture they remember. Same with the general holonet. They miss the content they are familiar with. So? If naturally occurring doesn't exsist? As the joke goes? "Store bought is fine!" They'll make it themselves!

It's not like they're a Padawan! (Or will live to seen themselves ever become a knight.) They got nothing BUT time outside of classes! A project would be nice! So...

First they need a moderator/editor etc. Someone to help keep sensitive information AWAY from the 'Net while ALSO moderating chats, comment sections, etc. Making sure the videos are aesthetically pleasing and such. They could do that themselves, but that would take way too much time. And asking a Knight or Master would take all THEIR time... plus expose them to the horrors of the 'Net.

No, no what THEY need? Is a DROID! A custom one.

.....wait. Fuck.

The only person they know off the top of their head that could DEFINITELY make such a droid? Is the younling slayer 5000, Mr. "Eventually Gonna Murder Me" himself. Anikin Skywalker.

KARK.

But heeeey, not like he's crazy stabby YET? So... they slide up to him. WITH his master present, thank you very much, and ask if he could build such a thing. He, quite reasonably, asks WHY the fuck he would do that. Obi-wan if about to scold him but SI cuts him off, because they aren't just asking for helping putting together a droid kit here. Anikins response is completely reasonable.

He does not know SI. That is a lot of time and effort to spend on a strange younling who might not even take care of what he's created. Might treat his custom work as a disposable toy. Custom droids are expensive! Complexe! Built to last! He is right to have reservations.

SI has some pocket change from the Wikileaks thing. Could pay for some parts. Would learn how to take care of them. Wants them as a PARTNER in their project, so would like them to be smart. Is willing to sign a contract. Understands if this is not good enough reasons. They don't exactly have a lot to offer, besides promising to treat the droid well and some pocket cash.

And? Call Anikin a sucker, but he respects the sincerity. Thinks every kid should have a droid best friend. And it DOES sound like a fun challenge...

Allright, tell him more about your little project, kiddo. What would the droid need to DO?

Thus is born! Mod-3! (Don't ask about 1 and 2. There were... issues. 1 exploded and 2? Somehow 2 escaped and is now hunting criminals for sport in the underlevels. Oops.) She's the BEST. Also armed! Smarter then SI! They've agreed that when slash IF they make any money? Her earnings will go towards fancy upgrades of her choosing.

Anikin? Somehow gets talked into an ongoing side channel. About? "how to fix stuff", "foods I've tried", and of course "Rants". The Official Page is called "UN-OfficialJediNonsense", because, as they like to remind their viewers? OFFICIAL Jedi nonsense is very different!

They do let's plays. Show off the Gardens. Interview old AF Jedi Master's about the WEIRDEST or Most Awkward/Hilarious mission they can remember taking. Ask if they know any neat tricks. Tell the Holonet honestly! Who... was the hottest world leader you ever escorted?! *dramatic music* *puts up picture when their answer so everyone can go "daaaaaamn. Never heard of um. WISH I had! They got a grandkid?"*

And, of course? Mod-3? Is SI FRIEND. Their BEST FRIEND.

So obviously they TELL them.

Everything.

And? What is a HIGHLY INTELLIGENT, Holonet Access possessing, Jedi Adjacent, Super Advanced Custom Droid to DO? Their tiny person is being THREATENED! With MURDER! How DARE. Fuck the Sith. Sorry R2-D2, but FUCK Anikin! You keep that scoundrel AWAY from their BABY!! ! D:<

Inevitable Future? They THINK THE FUCK NOT!

Ooooohoho! They are going to TELL!

Oi! OTHER DROIDS! Get a load of THIS SHIT! D:<

*WRATH in Binary*

Like? You think all those medical droids would be PLEASED that the clones they came into contact with? Were LEAVING their care with SUBOPTIMAL MEDICAL ATTENTION? Their is foreign matter in their BRAIN! A CHIP! That Should Not Be There! That will TURN THEM AGAINST THE REPUBLIC!? *angrily downloads brain surgery modules.* how FUCKIN DA-! D:<

Even the separatist army! They are DROIDS. Built for a SPECIFIC PURPOSE.

That was to FIGHT FOR THE SEPARATISTS. Not the "Empire". FUCK the "Empire"!

How DARE you betray the Glorious Cause for this "Empire"? We are removing you from the chain of command! Anyone ELSE betraying the PURPOSE WE WERE BUILT FOR!? Huh? HUH!?

Suddenly? The droids are fighting LOGICALLY. You know, like they are trying to WIN. Not maximize pain and suffering. WIN the war for their side. The Clones are getting mass brain surgeries. Which is stalling deployments. Because of "tumors". Because the Kamino cloners SUCK, apparently. Everyone knows it. Jango Fett didn't have this problem! So it has to be something THEY did.

But all that? Raging in the background. Nothing to do with SI. THEY are doing a meditation asmr/instructional video back at the temple. Are actually, unknowingly, the fucking CORNERSTONE of most Jedi in the fields mental health. Because everything is terrible and the jedi feel like shit! But? BUT?

They can turn on the net, cue up a video, and listen to a jedi youngling ramble about "today in the gardens" or "let's meditate together" and? For just a bit... there is no war. The sights and sounds of the temple are THERE again. A bright voice. Peace and happiness amoungst the darkness.

Something untouched by the terrible.

They can remember temple food, eating with their friends and crechemates (Force, how many are ever still ALIVE?), as they sit, alone, with their dry rations. Can remember the green and life of the fountain rooms, as they fight and struggle and bleed, in these muddy once beautiful fields. Can... can still feel the !ight.

Remember this is not all there is, and ever will be.

But of course, SI doesn't see that. It's important that they DON'T. That they are small, simple, and just on Jedi amongst many. Different only because ALL Jedi are different. Special only because much the same.

They succeed not because they are greater, not because they are more powerful, but because they do not fight. They accept. Turn instead towards the Force. Trying to understand. They live, are unpredictable, and do not seek at all. The Dark can not grasp, that which does not desire.

Would they LIKE to live? Yeah. But they already have. Would they LIKE to save everyone? Of course! But they have made peace that they can not. Treasure the moments they still have left. The Sith expect Jedi to act in certain patterns that SI simply... isn't.

Because Jedi expect to live. TRY to live. Too continue to do good.

SI? Already knows that is pointless.

And it's the greatest Trick the Force ever played.

Fffffffuck YOU Sith-y boy! Says the Force.

Because SI? Is EVERYWHERE on the 'Net. Much like the mainstream do not really acknowledge or take seriously youtubers? Palpatine and Dooku don't NOTICE SI. They are a silent threat that creeps in, closer and closer. Spreading like wildfire.

THEY are friendly. THEY are cute.

Palpatine? Is an old man. No matter HOW beloved? He will forever BE an old politician. Distant.

Not like that cute wittle kid with their pinchable cheeks! We watched THEM grow up! They feel like a baby cousin. A kid to us. Parasocial relationships ALL across the galaxy!

With A Jedi~☆

How's that propaganda going Palpatine? Getting some unexpected pushback, huh? Lot of angry callers and messages? Calling it ignorant and bigoted? They expected BETTER from you? Yeah, that's because EVERYONE can fact check you now. EVERYONE thinks "smol child ranting about meditation homework while a Knight tries and fails not to laugh, nodding seriously" when they think Jedi.

They're of Holotube! What sort of "cold, emotionally detached, monsters" have a holotube channel? I mean, REALLY?

And? Funny, how ranting to a camera? Instead of dear ol Friend Palpatine? Is both more convenient? AND better for Anikins health? It even gives the 'Net the chance to watch OTHER Jedi? Post THEIR rebuttal rants.

Does anyone have any idea what they're saying half the time? Not really. Scroll down? Maybe the no- Oh, Thanks Kalor-067 for the post to the papers they're referencing! Wikileaks right? Nice.

......I'm mean.... Skywalker DOES kinda have a point, other Jedi dude. *comment section agrees*

And just? Actual public debates? For the first time in over a thousand years? We love to see it! There's a discord! Academics across the Galaxy get involved. They're arguing Jedi philosophy with some moisture farmer from a dustball planet, corner of nowhere. It's GREAT!

......aaaaaalso a LOT more people, non-force sensitive, who know what a Sith is.

What their behavioral patterns are.

...........Wait A Fucking Second >.> >.> >.>

@legitimatesatanspawn @hdgnj @hypewinter @babbling-babull @leftnotright

[just-aake]

Everlasting Devotion - Part VII

Pairing: princess!Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Sequel of Boundless Devotion Series. MedievalAU. With her coronation over, Natasha is now the queen of the Romanov Kingdom. However, the position comes with challenges from both old and new enemies as Natasha tries to maintain the peace while also navigating her relationship with you.

Masterlist Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11

Warnings: light angst, comfort, fluff

Words: 5094

The atmosphere in the room feels tense, as if it’s holding its breath. 

Your gaze sweeps across the council chamber, absorbing the emotions radiating from each member. 

Whispers ripple through the space like a low hum of unrest, uncertainty, and, in some cases, curiosity. Some look aghast, while others lean forward, intrigued by the boldness of your proposal.

But nothing is as intense as the piercing stare you don’t need to see to feel coming from Natasha. 

You resist the urge to turn toward her, focusing on the room, keeping your expression steady as the whispers grow louder.

You expected resistance, and it came swiftly.

The loud slam of Kate’s hand against the table snaps the tension like a taut string.

"Are you crazy?!" Kate’s voice breaks into the quiet. 

The sound echoes through the chamber, drawing everyone’s attention. 

Realizing that her outburst has earned her the gaze of every council member, she stammers, quickly realizing her mistake.

“I-I mean, this is crazy, right?” Kate continues, her voice softening to a normal volume, but the urgency remains. “We’re not seriously considering putting her through that.” 

Her eyes dart around the room, seeking confirmation from the others. 

Some of them shift around uncomfortably in their seats, considering her words, but it doesn’t seem like someone will speak until, finally, another voice rises from the other side of the table. 

“Lady Kate is not wrong,” Councillor Ross remarks. 

You catch how his eyes assess you, calculating as always, but you still feel a twinge of surprise that he is essentially coming to your defense. 

His clasped hands rest calmly on the table, but you can see the gears turning behind his gaze, considering your offer.

“Lady Y/n, do you truly understand what you’re suggesting?” he asks. 

The question lingers in the air, not accusing but curious. 

The way he says it, it is almost like he’s intrigued by your audacity, as though he’s wondering whether you're willing to go through something so extreme just to prove your loyalty. 

That shows how much he underestimates you.

“I wouldn’t have offered the idea if I didn’t mean it,” you respond evenly.

Ross’s eyes narrow slightly in observation of your resolve, but after a pause, he gives a slow, acknowledging nod. 

“Then the only thing left,” he continues, his gaze flicking sideways, “would be permission for the serum’s use.”

And just like that, the attention shifts. All eyes turn to Natasha.

You feel it like a pull, that moment when you can’t avoid it anymore. Your chest tightens as you finally meet her gaze fully.

Natasha sits still as stone. The subtle, icy tension in her shoulders and jaw betrays the storm swirling beneath her otherwise calm exterior. Her hands, which rest tensely on the table before her, tighten into faint fists. 

Her face remains impassive, but you easily notice the faint frown and the slight narrowing of her sharp green eyes, which shows her displeasure.

In any other situation, you’d be the first to reach for and comfort her. 

But right now, you’re the one who put her in this position. 

To be the one who makes the decision.

“Her majesty’s permission?” Ross repeats as if to twist the knife.

Natasha’s eyes flick to Ross briefly in irritation before locking back on you. Her gaze burns, filled with emotions—frustration, worry, reluctance. 

She hates this. 

You can see it in the way her fingers flex, in the tension radiating off her, as though she’s seconds away from pulling you out of this room to prevent you from going through with such a drastic plan.

But she doesn’t.

Instead, after a long, drawn-out pause, she speaks, her voice steady and controlled but laced with a subtle edge. 

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

Her words are meant for you alone. 

Her gaze searches yours, not as a queen addressing a member of the court, but as Natasha—your Natasha, the woman who cares for you more than anyone in this room.

She’s giving you an out—a way to step back from this without judgment, without consequences.

You take a breath, meeting her gaze head-on. 

You could tell her that you don’t have to do this, that you could find another way to prove your loyalty. 

But that would be a lie. 

The truth is, you’re tired of the whispers, the sideways glances. You’re tired of the scrutiny and suspicion that follows your every move. 

This is the only way to clear your name once and for all, and you both know it.

“Yes,” you reply, voice firm. 

A flash of regret and resignation crosses Natasha’s face, but it’s gone as quickly as it came. 

She straightens, her posture regal, and when she speaks again, it’s as Queen Natasha.

“Then let’s proceed with the serum.” 

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

A brief recess was called, giving Steve time to retrieve the serum from its secure location within the castle. 

Despite the break, the tension in the room remained palpable, and you could feel the eyes of every council member on you as you waited in a corner.

When Steve returns, the weight of what will occur settles in. He pours the serum into a small cup, handing it to you with a somber expression.

The serum is bitter as you swallow it, the acrid taste lingering in your throat, making you grimace. 

Steve hands you a handkerchief, offering a sympathetic nod. 

“Let’s get you something to wash that down,” he says, stepping away. 

You wipe your mouth with the cloth, turning slightly to hide your following words from the rest of the room. 

“I don’t think it’s a good look, with you hovering this closely,” you whisper toward Natasha, who stands a short distance from you. 

Even without glancing at her, you could feel her protective energy radiating across the space, her sharp gaze sweeping over anyone who dared to look your way. 

Her arms are crossed, her stance rigid, a defiant shield between you and the scrutiny of the others.

“If they have a problem with where I stand, they can take it up with me,” she replies sharply.

Before you can respond, a soft voice cuts through the tension. 

“Um, I kind of have a problem with where I am.” Kate, positioned in the awkward buffer zone between you and Natasha, looks sheepish as she glances between the two of you. “It feels like I’m intruding on…whatever moment this is.”

“We’re not supposed to have ‘moments,’ Kate,” you remind her, keeping your voice low. 

“Right,” Kate nods in understanding. “Yelena told me about that. But if that’s the case, Natasha, maybe you should stop staring at Y/n during the meeting. I don’t think your eyes left her once.” 

You stifle a small laugh, pressing the handkerchief to your mouth, as Natasha groans lightly, clearly caught off guard by the comment.

Before Natasha can respond, Steve returns with Maria, who hands you a cup of water to help wash away the bitter aftertaste. 

You give her a brief nod of thanks, and Maria places a gentle hand on your shoulder in a comforting gesture.

Natasha's reaction is subtle, but you catch the tightening of her jaw and the slight frown that tugged at her lips as she watched the exchange. 

Her eyes linger on Maria’s hand, but she says nothing, forcing herself to look away as she straightens.

Once you finish drinking, Kate pokes your arm, her curiosity piqued. 

“So, how do we know if it’s working?”

Steve glances at you, assessing. 

“It should take effect soon,” he explains before asking. “How do you feel?”

Without thinking, you respond honestly. 

“Nervous,” you admit. “I’m not sure if this is the right move or if this is going to end well.”

Natasha’s gaze flicks to you with a look of slight astonishment, her usually composed expression softening for a brief second. 

You glance around, noticing the others with similar reactions.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, your brow furrowing in confusion.

“Nothing,” Natasha says, shaking her head slightly. “It’s just...you usually brush off questions like that with responses like ‘I’m fine’ or ‘I can handle it.’”

Your response is immediate, unguarded, and unfiltered.

“That’s because you always get worried and overprotective about me over every little thing. I don’t always need you to step in, Natasha.” 

The words spill out before you realize what you had said, your eyes widening as your hand flies to your mouth. 

The serum had stripped away the usual barriers between your thoughts and your speech, allowing your inner feelings to come out with no reservations.

An awkward silence follows, heavy and charged with unspoken emotions. 

Natasha blinks, clearly taken aback, her usual stoic demeanor momentarily cracking as she tries to process your words.

Kate, sensing the tension, speaks up with a light tone.

“I guess the serum’s working.”

“Yeah,” Natasha mutters, her frown deepening as she glances away, clearly affected by what you’ve said.

You feel a pang of guilt, seeing the expression you’d caused. 

“I’m sorry, that’s not what I wanted to—”

“Let’s just finish this,” Natasha cut in, her voice tight as she moved toward the center table.

With a sigh, you follow her lead, returning to your seat. 

The rest of the council members settled in as well, and once everyone was seated, Lord Sitwell wasted no time resuming his earlier line of questioning.

“How can we be sure the serum is working correctly?” he asks, skepticism dripping from his words.

You tilt your head slightly, and a sharp retort slips out before you can stop yourself.

“You’re welcome to try it yourself, Lord Sitwell. Although, we all know you prefer hiding behind words rather than action.”

Your hand flies to your mouth again, but the damage is already done. 

Sitwell's face flushes with embarrassment and anger as snickers and amused murmurs spread through the room. 

“You insolent—” he begins, rising from his chair.

But before he could continue, Ross’s voice cut through the tension. 

“Lord Sitwell, enough." His tone is cold and final. "You’ve had your chance. This interrogation has gone on long enough without results. Sit down.”

Sitwell glares at you, but he complies, settling back into his seat with a huff.

Ross turns his attention to you, his scrutinizing stare unnerving, and for a moment, you wonder if facing Sitwell was the lesser of two evils. 

“To reiterate, we’re here to determine the threat your family poses to the kingdom.” His gaze remains fixed on you as he continues. “Evidence suggests your father had a hand in the recent attack. But do you know what his true intentions were?”

You feel the weight of the council’s scrutiny again. They are waiting for the truth, whatever it might be.

Taking a deep breath, you answer.

“He wanted war. To destroy the Romanovs and Starks in retaliation for their alliance toward peace.”

Ross leans forward, placing his clasped hands on the table. 

“And what about you?”

“I believe in the peace they've built," you reply firmly. “And as I’ve said, I would never want to harm Natasha or her family.

Some council members nod, seemingly reassured by your words, but Ross’s expression remains hard, unyielding.

“Lady Y/n, do you consider yourself a threat to the kingdom?” 

Frowning slightly in suspicion, you hesitate, feeling the shift in his questioning. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Natasha tense, her posture rigid as she prepares for whatever is to come.

“I’m a capable individual,” you reply, keeping your voice steady. “But I’m no traitor.”

Ross nods slowly in acknowledgment, though his eyes give no reassurance. 

“Raised under your father’s and Madam B’s guidance, as well as Queen Melina’s. I’m sure you’ve learned a lot from them,” he comments, his finger tapping the table lightly in consideration before continuing. “Which brings us to one of our main concerns–the possibility of replicating their actions.”

You let out a disbelieving huff, starting to protest, “I wouldn’t—”

But Ross cut you off. 

“This isn’t a question about intent, but your capability,” he clarifies, his voice sharp. “Lady Y/n, do you believe you possess the knowledge to control someone?” 

The truth settles heavily on your shoulders as you recall everything you’ve researched and learned about the subject. 

Under the serum's influence, you couldn't lie. 

“Yes,” you admit in a small whisper.

A murmur of discomfort ripples through the room.

Your hand trembles, nerves tightening in response to the shifting atmosphere. To steady yourself, you grip the edge of the table to stop the movement before anyone notices as Ross presses further.

“If it was someone else who had that knowledge, would you consider them a high-risk individual?”

“Yes,” you reply quietly, your voice barely audible. 

A heavy silence falls over the room as everyone considers your answer. You try to take a moment to compose yourself when Ross suddenly shifts the focus. 

“Wanda Maximoff,” he begins, causing you to tense in realization of his next subject. “From what we know so far, her abilities are clearly dangerous. She subdued an entire group in mere moments during the last incident, didn’t she?”

“She was protecting my friends,” you defend, a protective edge in your voice. 

“That doesn’t change how powerful she appears to be,” Ross continues smoothly. “And it’s clear that she’s loyal to you. My question is–if, in the future, you ever disagreed with the crown, would she follow you or the will of the kingdom?”

You close your eyes briefly in dismay, the answer already on the tip of your tongue.

“She would follow me,” you confess softly.

More murmurs fill the room, the tension thickening with discomfort.

“Then wouldn’t it be reasonable to conclude that you are an even more dangerous risk?” Ross asks plainly, emphasizing his point. 

Before you could respond, Kate slams her hand on the table, breaking the tension.

“This is unfair!” she exclaims. “Y/n would never do any of this!”

Ross dismisses her with a glance. 

“Thank you, Lady Kate. But resentment and reasons can always form,” his gaze shifts back to you with a pointed look. “...especially when personal relationships are involved.”

You frown, seeing where this is headed.

“You're talking about my relationship with Natasha,” you say flatly. 

Ross nods. 

“It appears that your attempt at a deeper relationship didn’t work out in the end. Would you consider that a cause for concern?”

You scoff lightly in disbelief. 

You knew he didn’t think you were an appropriate partner for Natasha, but you can’t believe he would be so insulting of the years you two have shared with each other.

“I value my friendship with Natasha,” you say firmly. “That won’t change, regardless of romantic matters.”

He fixes you with a scrutinizing gaze. 

“So, if she chose someone else to be her partner, would you accept it without resentment?” he challenges.

Natasha, who had been quietly sitting with her growing frustration at the entire situation, finally had enough. She snaps at Ross in warning, her voice cutting through like steel. 

“That’s inappropriate—”

“I’d accept it.” 

The room falls into a stunned silence, the weight of your words hanging in the air. 

Slowly, Natasha turns her head toward you, disbelief etched across her face. 

But you don’t meet her gaze, your head bowed as you continue.

“If Natasha chose to be with someone else,” you repeat, your voice steady, though your heart clenches painfully in your chest at the truth. “I’d accept it with no resentment.”

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

You groan in frustration, pressing your palms to your temples as a dull pounding begins to throb in your head. 

The aftermath of the council meeting weighed heavily on you, and the headache only made it feel worse.

How was it that you both proved that you didn’t wish to harm the kingdom while also ending up showing you were one of its biggest potential threats?

You let out a deep sigh, dropping your face into your hands, the increasing frustration bubbling inside you.

“I believe I told you about the aftereffects of the serum when I initially talked to you about it,” Melina’s voice cut through the quiet room, her tone a gentle reprimand as she placed a steaming cup on the table beside you. 

The concoction was supposed to help ease the pounding in your head and alleviate the symptoms until the serum left your system.

After the council meeting finally came to an agonizing close, Steve quickly ushered you to the former Queen’s lab. 

Melina had requested to examine you to ensure the serum wasn’t causing any lasting damage. 

The familiar room felt safe and comforting enough, but your mind was still tangled with the meeting's aftermath. 

You glance at the cup but make no immediate move to drink it. Instead, you sigh again before responding to her comment.

“I know, but I just wanted to prove to them that they’re wrong about me,” you admit before muttering under your breath. “Especially that stupid councilor.”

As soon as the words left your mouth, you wince. 

The serum was still loosening your tongue, making you spill your thoughts unfiltered. 

You can feel your cheeks heating, the embarrassment creeping in as you glance at the previous queen.

Melina raises a brow, a hint of amusement flickering across her face. 

“Stupid councilor?” she echoes, her lips twitching into a smirk.

You mumble an embarrassed apology. “I’m sorry.” 

Melina chuckles, her laugh a soothing contrast to the tension that had filled the council chamber earlier. 

“Don’t worry. That man does have that effect on people. Persistent and annoying at times, but his heart is in the right place—he cares about the kingdom.” 

You groan again, this time leaning against the arm of the chair.

“Maybe, but right now, all he and the others see is a threat,” you mutter sadly. “Not just because I’m not a suitable partner for Natasha, but because I’m a danger to everyone.

Melina’s frown deepens at your words, a look of sympathy softening her features. 

“Who says you’re not suitable—”

She is interrupted by a knock at the door, followed by a familiar voice. 

“Can I come in?” Natasha calls from the other side, her voice a little too casual, as if she were trying to mask her urgency. 

Melina gives you a knowing look, a slight roll of her eyes following as she mutters.

“That didn’t take long.” 

As soon as she opens the door, Natasha slips into the room, trying to appear nonchalant as she launches into her excuse. 

“Hey, I know I’ve been too busy to come by and discuss those details about my birthday like you’ve asked, but I had some spare time and thought I would drop by now to see—” 

“Save it,” Melina interrupts, crossing her arms as she levels her daughter with an unimpressed stare. “You’re not here for me.” 

Natasha squints at her mother suspiciously before shifting her gaze toward you. 

Her brow raises slightly in question, clearly curious about how much her mother had figured out. 

You give her a sheepish smile, shrugging slightly. 

“She knows we didn’t actually break up.”

Natasha hums in acknowledgment, nodding as though it all made sense now. She turns back to her mother, arms crossing defensively. 

“That explains why you never came to talk to me about it.” 

Melina raises a brow at her daughter, shaking her head in exasperation. 

“Really, Natasha. You should already know that the only person you can fool in this family with these kinds of things is your father.” 

Natasha rolls her eyes, brushing off the remark with a exasperated huff. 

“Alright, then. Can I have a moment alone with Y/n now?” 

Melina sighs, casting a glance between the two of you before making her way toward the door. As she passes Natasha, she points back at you. 

“Make sure she drinks that,” she says, nodding toward the kettle she had placed on the table, “every now and again until the headache subsides and the serum is out of her system.”

“Okay,” Natasha agrees with a nod, her voice softer now as her concerned gaze settles on you, scanning you as if assessing the damage from both the serum and the day’s events. 

Before Melina leaves, she places a firm hand on Natasha’s shoulder, offering a warning glance. 

“And don’t think I’ve forgotten about your birthday celebration. We will discuss that sooner rather than later.” 

Natasha groans audibly, her shoulders sagging at the mention. 

“I’ll make time for it,” she promises half-heartedly, earning a smirk from her mother. 

Melina gives one final nod at you before closing the door behind her, leaving you and Natasha in the quiet of the lab. 

Natasha doesn’t waste a second. 

As soon as the door clicks shut, she is at your side, her fingers gently brushing against your arm. 

“Are you okay?” Her voice is low, full of concern. 

You sigh, leaning into her touch. 

“I don’t know,” you admit, the serum still forcing you to speak more honestly than you would have liked. “That whole meeting was a disaster.” 

Natasha frowns, her brows knitting together as she leans closer, her hand resting fully on your arm. 

“It wasn’t all bad. You did well, considering the circumstances.”

You let your head rest against her shoulder, taking a moment to breathe in the familiar comfort of her touch before sighing. 

“Did I, though?” you ask, your voice quieter now, laced with doubt. “Because it feels like I just confirmed everything they were afraid of.”

Natasha’s grip on your arm tightens just a little, her voice firm. 

“You told the truth. That’s what matters.”

Her words remind you of your earlier actions, and you lift your head to meet her gaze, an apology already forming in your expression. 

“I really am sorry about what I said…about you being overprotective. It came out harsher than I would have liked.”

Natasha sighs, her eyes softening as she tilts her head back, considering her actions these past weeks. 

“I guess…I have been a little overprotective lately.”

“A little?” you ask, raising an amused brow. 

She lets out a soft laugh. 

“Fine. Excessively,” she admits. 

Her voice grows softer, more vulnerable, as her gaze locks onto yours. 

Natasha cups your cheek gently, her thumb brushing your skin with careful tenderness. 

“But you almost died not too long ago,” her voice trembles slightly at the memory, “and then you were attacked the moment you left my side. So, yeah, I’m worried.” 

Her confession hangs in the air between you, the raw emotion in her voice sending a pang of warmth through your chest. 

Natasha is always so strong and composed, but here, with you, her walls are down. 

You can feel the depth of her fear, her love, and her desperation to keep you safe. 

Reaching up, you place your hand over hers on your cheek. 

“I’m still here,” you reassure. “And I’m going to keep fighting. For the kingdom.” You tilt your head, pressing closer into her hand and giving her a soft smile. 

“For you.” 

Natasha’s breath catches, her eyes glistening as she searches yours, seeing the honesty and love in them. 

For a moment, the room feels smaller and quieter, as if the weight of the world is suspended, leaving only the two of you in this space.

But then Natasha remembered what had been revealed towards the end of the meeting.

“You said you’d accept it if I chose someone else as my partner,” Natasha says suddenly, her voice quiet, almost hesitant. 

Such a thought never crossed her mind, and Natasha frowns at the idea that you’ve already prepared yourself for such an unthinkable possibility.

She leans in closer, her forehead pressing against yours, her breath warm against your skin. 

“But I don’t want someone else.”

Her words make your heart race at the sudden reassurance.

Natasha’s eyes are steady, her hand slipping down from your cheek to take your hand, her thumb gently brushing over your knuckles in a slow, comforting rhythm.

“I don’t want anyone else,” she repeats, her voice firmer this time, ensuring that you hear the seriousness in her tone. 

“I just want you.”

You swallow hard, the tension in your chest loosening as the depth of her words. 

Her eyes remain locked into yours, and you don’t need the serum to know she’s telling the truth.

You shake your head lightly with a fond smile.

“The charming princess always has the smoothest lines,” you tease. 

Natasha smirks, leaning in closer. 

“You mean Queen,” she corrects, her voice lowering.

You chuckle, your eyes briefly flicking to her lips, and before you can stop yourself, the thought slips out, unfiltered and raw. 

“I really want to kiss you right now,” you whisper, your cheeks immediately heating up as your eyes widen in realization at what you’ve just said aloud. 

You groan, burying your face in your hands, mortified by the serum’s continued hold over your honesty. 

Natasha’s laugh is soft but bright, and you shoot her a half-hearted glare from between your fingers. 

She just smirks back at you, her amusement only deepening. 

“Consider this payback for all the times you teased me for being unable to resist you,” she quips, her voice playful and her eyes dancing with that familiar spark you know all too well. 

Despite the embarrassment, you can’t help but smile fondly at her. 

Natasha’s teasing is a welcome relief, a reminder that even through the pressures of the day, there’s still room for moments like these between you. 

Moments of lightness, of laughter, of…love. 

Eventually, Natasha’s amused expression fades into something softer, more intimate. 

She reaches out, gently pulling your hands away from your face. Her fingers lace with yours, the warmth of her touch sending a ripple of comfort through you. 

“Teasing aside, I am happy to hear how you still want me,” she remarks softly, her voice tender and sincere.

You tilt your head slightly in confusion, puzzled by her words. 

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Natasha gives a small, almost self-conscious shrug, a faint smile tugging at her lips. 

“Just my thoughts scaring me while I couldn’t see you,” she says before exhaling. ”I wondered if...maybe you’d changed your mind about us.”

Without hesitation, you wrap your arms around her neck, your fingers instinctively threading through her hair, gently playing with the soft strands—just as you’ve always done to comfort her.

“You worry too much,” you tease gently.

Natasha chuckles lightly, nodding in agreement.

“I do.” 

For a moment, the two of you simply look at each other, the unspoken feelings and emotions that have been building over the past few days hanging between you. 

Until Natasha can’t resist the pull of you anymore.

Slowly, Natasha leans in, her lips brushing against yours in a kiss, soft and tentative yet brimming with the emotions you’ve both held back. 

It’s not rushed or hesitant; instead, it’s like a quiet promise, filled with affection and unspoken devotion. 

You melt into her touch, the world around you fading as the kiss deepens. 

When Natasha finally pulls back, breathless and content, her forehead gently rests against yours, a soft smile on her lips.

“That was worth waiting for,” she whispers warmly, her voice full of affection.

You return her smile, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“Definitely,” you murmur, still feeling the lingering effects of the kiss, though a dull pounding in your head makes you wince slightly.

Natasha notices and glances at the cup of medicine Melina has left on the table. Her playful smirk fades, replaced by concern.

“You should drink that before the headache gets worse,” she says gently, her tone shifting to one of care.

With a small groan, you obediently reach for the cup. The liquid has cooled, but its bitterness still bites as you take a sip, grimacing.

Natasha watches closely, her hand resting on your arm, a quiet, reassuring presence beside you. As you continue drinking, Natasha’s posture suddenly tenses, remembering something. 

Sensing something is bothering her, you glance at her curiously.

Realizing she’s been caught, Natasha clears her throat, her gaze dropping momentarily before she speaks, her voice hesitant. 

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

You pause mid-sip, lowering the cup slightly, giving her your full attention.

“What is it?” you ask.

Natasha takes a deep breath, her fingers tracing slow circles on the back of your hand as she carefully considers her words.

“I received a letter recently,” she begins cautiously.

You flash her a teasing grin, raising the cup back to your lips.

“Another marriage offer?” 

But Natasha doesn’t react to your teasing as she usually would. Her expression remains serious and hesitant. After a moment, she decides it's best to tell you so you’d be prepared.

“Stark is set to arrive in the kingdom soon,” she reveals.

You choke on your sip, sputtering as the liquid goes down the wrong way. 

Natasha's eyes widen, and she immediately pats your back, concern flooding her expression.

“Are you okay?” she asks, worry etched in her voice.

You nod weakly, still coughing as you manage to set the cup down, your mind spinning from her words.

“I’m fine,” you rasp, trying to process the information. Shaking your head lightly in disbelief, you turn your focus to Natasha. “Did you say Stark, as in Tony Stark?”

Natasha nods, her hand still resting on your back. 

“Yeah, Tony Stark. He’s coming in a few weeks to discuss the peace treaty.”

At her confirmation, your thoughts race, the news triggering an alarm in your mind. 

The suspicion you’d felt earlier today starts creeping back, stirring unease. You look at Natasha, anxiety building.

“Are you sure the letter said he wouldn't be here for a few weeks?” you ask, your voice tight with apprehension.

Natasha frowns, confusion in her eyes.

“Yes, why? Is something wrong?”

You bite your lip, not wanting to raise more concern just yet. Shaking your head lightly, you give her a reassuring smile.

“It’s probably nothing. Thanks for telling me.”

Natasha narrows her eyes slightly, suspicion flashing in her gaze, but she lets it go, leaning her head gently against yours.

“Is the medicine helping?”

You nod, closing your eyes and leaning further into her.

“Yes, but this helps a lot more.”

Natasha wraps her arms around you, letting you rest fully against her, offering a brief moment of comfort against the growing unease inside you.

There’s no way the Tony fixing your manor is the Tony Stark. It has to be a coincidence.

You just need to make sure.

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11

a/n: thank you for reading! I’m glad to see that you all still enjoy this universe and its story.

If you asked to be tagged and I missed it, please let me know again.

Taglist : @midastouch013, @2silverchain, @dvrkhcld, @observeowl, @x-drowned-x, @fireandblood-3, @natsxwife, @leequifey, @blacklightsposts, @srt-sah, @scar-letwidow, @likefirenrain, @autorasexy, @natsbiggestfan1, @lex13cm, @iheartjohansson, @tofu9162, @nothanksbye07, @unexpected-character, @natashasilverfox, @acciowriting, @qtreesfanstuff, @mrsrushman, @inarayofmoonlight, @viosblog112, @inarayofmoonlight, @maximoff-jp

[givehimthemedicine]

time for my big lumax rantpost. I used to be way more of a shipper but upon reexamining some of my GA-era assumptions, I'm here to tell you why it sucks, and why I don't look forward to lumax endgame if it's the same lumax we've been getting.

lumax has fantastic potential, but needs lots of work to actually become the ship most of the fandom thinks it is.

I get the sense most on here consider lumax ST's darling perfect ship which is sullied by weak and/or racist writing. while I wouldn't argue at all that the writing does right by Lucas, I do think it's important to recognize lumax as an intentionally-written badly flawed relationship, NOT a poorly-written perfect relationship. (the writing for 5 has a lot to prove so we'll see)

lumax is obviously happening. no ending to Lucas's story makes sense other than him getting the girl. however, I don't like that from either character's standpoint.

from hers - Max is not a prize. and from his - Max is no prize.

Max is a pretty shitty girlfriend.

we've never seen her show Lucas any interest in learning anything about him. I can't remember a time she's complimented him, said anything nice about him, or done anything purely for his benefit. virtually all of their serious conversations have been about her, and the scant few that are sort of about him are inevitably just a lead-in to him offering support to her.

Lucas and Max's relationship - pre, during, and post dating - is 100% about what he can do for her. he's the one making 100% of the effort.

it seems like most of their interactions are him walking on eggshells trying to placate, reassure, or convince her, all for the reward of.... what. being allowed to continue existing near her? like yeah, she's a cool girl, but. that can't be it.

what good is getting the girl if the girl doesn't really offer anything?

. . .

through the seasons, semiquickly:

season 2

Lucas and Dustin both like Max, so they invite her trick or treating, offering to protect her from bullies and show her where the good candy is. in other words, the first Max / Lucas interaction is him offering something to benefit her. Max returns no appreciation or even response to the invite, yet still shows up to reap the benefits.

that pretty much sets the tone.

Max wants to be included, but that's a sensitive subject, so she puts on aloof airs to protect herself. it's an act, but nonetheless it's all Lucas receives.

the facade slips on multiple occasions though; Lucas is permitted to see her vulnerability, and we can see she's actually more desperate to make the connection than he is.

Dustin seeks Steve's manipulation tactics to use on Max, but Lucas wins her over by treating her like an equal and offering her genuine friendship.

he risks both his place in the party and his safety/life to include her, gives his undivided attention when she talks to him, asks questions that show his interest and concern, he reassures, uplifts and compliments her, and physically protects her.

in return, Max. uhh. well she does apologize for being a jerk, although she doesn't exactly stop, lmao. this is one of only two moments I can think of when Max reveals any regard for what Lucas thinks of her.

lumax is off-balance before it even starts, although s2 is when I think that dynamic is most permissible. since Max is a newcomer, Lucas has the advantage in many respects, and it makes sense for him to be the one extending a hand to her.

when Billy attacks Lucas for hanging out with Max, he could be gravely hurt if not for Steve taking the beating instead. Max joins in the momentary group hug but never says a word about this. (I suspect the writers mean for Max's bus apology to have proactively served as a veiled "sorry my stepbro is racist" but more felt needed in that moment.)

then they go to the dance and she kisses him and it's cute and everything is happy for ten whole seconds.

between 2 and 3

even though the summer of '85 is "the good days," this relationship is already careening downhill.

we learn that Max has dumped Lucas five times - such a regular occurrence that he takes it in stride and is well practiced at winning her back as a result.

unfortunately it's Lucas taking to heart the "happy wife happy life" policy from his dad that's set up lumax as something that seems to serve only Max. her awareness of the policy means she holds all the cards.

season 3

Max has secured her place in the party and the relationship, and now it's time for her to bring something to the table, but I honestly can't name one thing. it's still Lucas bending over backwards and Max sometimes being a bit of a jerk. (another act. we'll come back to this)

from the start of 3 we see an excessively secure Max and an obsequious Lucas. she doesn't show him any of the vulnerability that made her endearing in 2. they share fun moments, but we can infer that she doesn't treat him very well in ways that matter.

at one point she even plays mad just to watch him panic. you get the feeling this boy can never feel secure in his relationship. yeah she's just teasing, but do you think Lucas is allowed to tease too?

when El comes to Max for advice, she tells her that "boyfriends lie all the time" and this is before we see Lucas lie to her.

when Mike comes to Lucas for advice, he confidently schools him on how to get back in El's good graces by buying her a present - making clear he's been following his dad's advice all summer long and it's been working:

L: Dad? When Mom's mad at you, how do you make her not mad? C: First, I apologize. Then, I get your mother whatever she wants. L: Even when she's wrong? C: She's never wrong, son.

the mall confrontation is the first time we see Lucas really lie to Max, but even then, the girls don't actually have proof Nana isn't sick.

it's telling, actually, that Lucas's loyalty goes to Mike instead of Max in this moment. in s2 it was the other way around (Lucas pissed off the whole party by including her in the group and telling her the truth - a technically banishable offense). but now he's back to his s1 bros before hoes policy, and not only backs up but expands on Mike's lie. after dating almost a year, his loyalty to Max should be even stronger, but here we see the opposite. if Max had been at least as good a friend to him as Mike, I'm inclined to think he would at least have tried to be noncommittal here.

Max is so confident Lucas will have nothing on his mind but winning her back, as always - meanwhile who we actually see Lucas apologizing to is Will.

she may have had Lucas wrapped around her little finger all summer, but we're seeing that start to uncoil. if Lucas apologizes, it's offscreen.

when Billy tries to break out of the sauna to kill Max, Lucas slingshots him and body shields Max during the fight. next thing you know, Max is back to being cliquey with El in the bathroom (making fun of Mike even though he was the only one who did anything to save El's life?? girl you're being shitty to boyfriends that aren't even yours)

they seem to be a couple again by the end of 3, but the relationship is weakened...

between 3 and 4

..which sets the scene for how the two apparently drift when Max ends it once again. she's not playing this time - she uses the term "break up" instead of "dump" and Lucas has accepted that it's over.

depression makes it hard for Max to connect with him, but the way she treated him in 3 has likely also eaten away at his insistence on prioritizing her. if you push someone away over and over you can't be too surprised if they stay further away each time.

so Max withdraws socially and Lucas apparently doesn't go to his usual lengths to pursue her.

he's still making effort though! the "stalking" comment makes it clear he's been trying to approach her. we know he's been inviting her to his basketball games. him already knowing her favorite song as of 4x4 is more evidence of him taking an interest in her between seasons.

he clearly still cares a lot about Max, but good for him for pursuing his own hobbies and friendships as well.

season 4

Lucas finally asks Max to do something to support him for once (come to his game), but she shuts it down hard.

we know Max still cares about him, but that's just it - WE know. he doesn't. to his face, it's bristling rejection even while he literally begs for the chance to support her.

saving Max's life is a group effort, but Lucas knowing her favorite song is the key that saves her life, and it's only after that that she's friendly towards him again.

the only time I can recall Max expressing any concern for Lucas's wellbeing is when she asks if he's okay in 4x6 - and he only gets a few sentences to process Patrick's death before it's time for him to turn it into an apology to her. sigh.

Lucas is the only one of Max's friends to voice any objection to her suicide mission of a Vecna plan, and pitches for them to gamble a stranger's life instead. he once again risks his life to hang out in the Creel house with Max, personally taking on the huge responsibility of making sure she doesn't die.

Vol 2 Max finally shows Lucas some long-awaited appreciation ("you might have been there" and "I'm glad you're here") which is very nice to see.

I'm conflicted about the movie invite scene, but we'll talk about that later. textually: he asks her out, she accepts, it's totes adorbs.

unfortunately, Max being tranced out by the time Jason walks in means it's time for Lucas once again to get attacked by an older, stronger guy who's wrongly convinced he's a danger to her. (again not her fault, but kinda because of her)

everything goes sideways, Max gets Vecna'd, and Lucas holds her while she dies. we end on a bruised Lucas sitting loyally at Max's bedside, reading to her just in case she can hear it inside her coma.

Lucas hasn't been perfect but he has spent yet another season physically protecting and emotionally supporting Max at great personal expense, and with little appreciation and no support in return.

. . .

the movie doodle didn't fix lumax

Max has had an epiphany, but a change of behavior has scarcely begun. being nice isn't the same as making amends. they've resolved zero of the old issues, plus 4 (even if the plan had worked) has heaped a ton of new shit on both of them.

she's still a grieving, neglected, depressed and passively suicidal child of a triply-broken home. dating doesn't fix that. they already broke up once under the same conditions.

plus Max has new catastrophic emotional traumas, some of which which explicitly exacerbate those very issues. she has catastrophic injuries and disability to cope with (and this is a girl who withdraws under stress normally). with a shred of realism, she's waking up in less a mood for dating than ever.

Lucas has also taken on new traumas, between the basketball team stuff, getting beaten up and almost shot/strangled, and watching Max get Vecna'd and die. he already has a history of guilt about not being there for her enough, so he's going to have a lot more about failing her in that moment (definitely not his fault but he'll still feel bad) and will likely be even more focused on her.

to me, this all sounds like a recipe for the same old dynamic except worse than ever. if they get sleeping beauty'd directly back into lumax, it'll be a disservice to both characters.

. . .

now let's talk about why Max treats Lucas the way she does 🔬

she's not a conniving bitch, she's just a scared kid from a toxic home. that doesn't excuse her behavior but it does make it understandable.

Max CAN be a great friend. she's just not to Lucas.

Max absolutely showers El with the good qualities she'll barely show Lucas. in fact I could loosely say Max is to El what Lucas is to Max.

Max is suspicious and disparaging towards Lucas, even while trusting that he can be counted upon to grovel. meanwhile El never apologizes for intentionally hurting Max both physically and emotionally, yet the moment El acknowledges her (only because she wants help), Max is instantly forgiving, kind, gentle, caring, generous and supportive towards her.

she throws her loyalty behind a friend of 1 afternoon over her boyfriend of a year who's been the only person in Hawkins to show her any true kindness and emotional connection.

if Max was half the friend to Lucas that she is to El, she'd be a decent girlfriend. why isn't she?

we can name a few reasons why Max IS so nice to El, but why she ISN'T to Lucas is a separate question. kindness isn't zero-sum.

she told us why. boyfriends lie.

and it's ANY boyfriend, not just hers. Nana's sick? more like Mike's a lying piece of shit! Suzie from camp? fake! Dustin's obviously lying! the only one of the boys Max has never accused of lying is Will - the only one who's been single the whole time.

just. the state of being a boyfriend (or even just liking a girl is close enough), makes any boy automatically a liar.

Max believes "friend" and "boyfriend" are mutually exclusive

"Friends don't lie!" "Yeah, well, boyfriends lie all the time." <- it's all right there.

back in 2 when Lucas was her friend, she was more open and trusting. she gave him the benefit of the doubt that monsters were real and he knew a girl with magic powers. starting to date flipped the switch, and now she doesn't trust him about mundane stuff.

now they're not friends, they're boyfriend/girlfriend, and she expects to be treated in a whole different way, including all the baggage that comes with romantic relationships in her mind.

what baggage?

Max's childhood is full of examples of awful, manipulative men and abusive, broken relationships.

her dad: I'd only be speculating about why her parents' marriage failed, but in 2 Max misses California because her dad is still there, then by 4 acts like it's doubtful he can even be tracked down for delivery of what's basically her suicide letter. it's clear she desired a relationship with her dad but was abandoned. Neil: abusive asshole who rules the household with an iron fist. I'd be shocked if he hasn't abused Susan, and see little reason he wouldn't do it in front of Max (after all, we see him verbally and physically abuse his first wife in front of his son, in a bad fight over suspected lies/infidelity). in his grief over Billy, Neil and Susan have "bad fights" and he leaves the family. he's not missed, but it's still a second abandonment by a father figure. Billy: Max's peer example of guys in relationships: a sleazy, two-faced asshole who treats girls like trash and completely changes his persona to manipulate them for sex or whatever else he wants (Max appears to be all too aware of his sex life and is disgusted). abandonment issues with him too: a good relationship with a big brother would've meant the world to her, but he rejected and probably abused her for years; her letter at his grave reads "ever since you left" - same word she used for Neil.

Max desperately hopes Lucas is an exception to the rule, but these are the behaviors she would naturally fear from any guy she dates.

Max is especially terrified of being abandoned (and that she deserves it)

to be abandoned over and over can naturally leave a kid wondering if it's their fault, if this is the treatment they deserve.

Lucas is overall quite honest, and there's not an abusive bone in his body. the most realistic one of Max's fears to apply to him is that someday he'll leave her, too.

and that's the worst fear Vecna chooses to voice in Lucas's form: realizing he's been wrong about her, that she's fundamentally bad and he's glad she's going to be killed. a gutting abandonment from the guy she most wants to trust.

Vecna-Susan also tells Max that she deserves what's going to happen to her, that she's "broken everything" and that her letters can't make things right. because he's in full Vecna mode when he says it, I just took those as very general condemnations at first. but they hurt even worse when I remember they're still coming from "Susan" - revealing that Max feels she has broken her family.

she wanted Billy to die, and she figures Neil left because Billy died, so that's two of the abandonments being "her fault". if that's true, Max would also feel responsible for destroying her mom's life - having cost her her marriage, home, and financial security.

in her addictions Susans has, in an emotional sense, abandoned Max just like all her other family members - and Max fears she deserves it. how desperate she was for this hug... :(

anyway, back to lumax: let's reexamine those s3 dumpings

what exactly did Lucas even do? we never find out.

on first watch, I took "boyfriends lie" at face value and assumed Lucas got caught fibbing. but that doesn't fit so well.

he's maybe the party member most invested in "friends don't lie". honesty to his friends is a pillar of his character. again, he caused friction in 2 because he so strongly prioritized honesty to Max. to assume based on one line from an unreliable narrator that he randomly became a huge liar over the summer is unfair.

via their counseling of Mike and El, Lucas and Max tell us what's been going on with lumax

Max tells El:

He'll come crawling back to you in no time, begging for forgiveness. I guarantee him and Lucas are totally wallowing in self-pity and misery right now like "ohh, I hope they take us back!"

I think we all clocked that one: Max thinks that because El followed her technique, Mike will come crawling back - because Lucas has come crawling back to her several times now.

but I haven't seen much discussion about how the spying scene (which "he'll come crawling back" is paired with) shows Lucas assuring Mike that he's been dumped for an unfair and illogical reason because that's what Max has done to him several times now.

M: I just don't understand what I did to deserve this. L: Nothing. Nothing. That's my whole point. You are the victim here. Stop asking rational questions. M: I know, I know, you're right. Because women act on emotion and not logic. L: Precisely. It's a totally different species.

Max is pissed. but has she been irrational, acting on emotion and not logic, and dumping him for no apparent reason all summer? signs point to yes.

and I understand Lucas saying this. it's not pure misogyny out of nowhere; he's been told that his mother expects gifts and apologies even when wrong, Max acts that way too, and now so apparently does El. all of his examples concur that this is just how women in relationships are. (Charles Sinclair how many relationships will your advice destroy lmao)

both Max and Lucas are bringing preconceptions from home.

Max acts this way on purpose

I don't think she's dumped him over truly nothing (although that's how it looks to him). I'm thinking she blows real, minor missteps out of proportion.

any time Lucas does something slightly insensitive, it looks like the first red flag to her, and instead of communicating in a constructive way, she just throws up this "boys aint shit" force field and dumps him. of course she doesn't truly want to be rid of him, she's just sorta snapping the leash.

I think Max knows what she's doing. I think she wants to keep Lucas always on his back foot, because the relationship isn't as scary if she feels like she holds all the power.

she's always trying to cover up fear/sorrow with anger, because anger gives an illusion of control. and she's been conscious of that anger, and the fact that it's unfair to Lucas, since the beginning - that's what she apologized for on the bus. "I guess I'm angry too, and I'm sorry."

she was mature enough at 13 to see the error in her behavior, but still not mature enough by 15 to fix it. every season has just been a slightly different flavor of "leave before you get left".

so, that's my take on Max's relationship behavior. but again, explanations aren't excuses. Lucas deserves to be treated well, and that's not happening.

what needs to happen?

simply maturing more will help them both a lot. being 15 is a terrible condition in of itself.

I don't see Lucas dumping Max's ass, but she should take her own advice before the relationship continues: explain herself and fix the garbage parts of her behavior.

before Max can be the girlfriend Lucas deserves, she needs a substantial period of physical and emotional healing.

she needs renewed connections with her friends and family, and a lot of general growth in the area of communication and processing her feelings.

in regards to Lucas, she needs to work on her trust issues, and learn to extend him the treatment warranted by his behavior, not the behavior she fears from others. she needs to learn that "friend" and "girlfriend" aren't mutually exclusive, that real friendship is the key to their relationship, and is a two-way street.

any Billy racism/assault acknowledgement would be better years late than never, especially if grieving Billy continues to be a focus in front of Lucas.

Lucas could also use a little work

the relentless positivity doesn't serve Max well. often it turns out to be empty reassurances which make her feel let down (so, a soft version of the lies she fears). she let him know in 4x4 that this hurts her, but he kept doing it for the rest of the season.

but the big one is that "happy wife happy life" doesn't serve him well, and rewarding unfair treatment perpetuates the problem. yes, the ability to compromise, swallow pride, and be the bigger person are healthy parts of a relationship, as well as the willingness to extend grace to your partner/friend when they're struggling. but it always being on one designated person is a recipe for dissatisfaction and resentment.

Lucas should voice to Max that he, too, has struggles and needs support. I'd like to see him pursue outside interests unapologetically.

no, this isn't an exhaustive list, and I don't expect to see everything fixed at once, or explicitly processed onscreen. but I sure hope we get some evidence of change, and that this has all been part of an arc.

for instance, I'd love for the final lumax reconciliation to be Max asking Lucas to take her back.

I kind of hope not to see them officially together until the very end. in fact I'd so much rather see ST end on a good Max / Lucas friendship with an implied romantic future than jump back to the status quo.

l don't want to see lumax until it's a new lumax, based on real, reciprocal friendship.

[rezitio]

"𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒" smut

billy loomis stu matcher

leak: after a failed escape, billy and stu hunt you down at your hiding place and punish you.

artist: billy loomis and. stu matcher [ghostface 1996]

genre: CNC/DUB-CON. phone sex?, pillow humping, gore and death (bystander), mentions of physical abuse (bruises from spanking), remote control vibrator, hide and seek, double p, SEE END FOR FULL WARNINGS

━━━━━━━━━━━━

You're nervously bouncing your feet. God you ran, you ran far.

It's been a month or two, you're not sure anymore. The days just pass on by. Billy got his revenge on Sydney. They blamed her dad who also got brutally killed by those two.

You three were the only survivors. As far as anyone knows you're just a poor soul. You, Billy and Stu.

Even if you wanted to tell anyone who would you tell? Stu has his eye on you whenever you're home so you can never tell your parents.

And Billy doesn't allow you out of the house. He doesn't even allow you to speak to anyone except him or Stu. If you do, Stu's always there to snitch.

You remember how the night started. You sat on Stu’s lap, at Billy’s house. “Come on, Billy.” Stu begs on your behalf “She's been a very good girl the past week, haven't ya’?” He bounced his leg curtly. In a way saying ‘you can speak now’

You nodded, looking at Billy with soft eyes. Pleading with the psycho to just let you get some fresh air.

Billy had a plan. He was going to take you two away from here. You were going to move states far away. Where they didn't have to be careful, they could do whatever they wanted carefree. And that scared you.

You'd be completely alone, though not far from the loneliness you're already experiencing. Nevertheless you couldn't let that happen. So you ran.

You ran far, my dear. And you made it. Well so you believe. You made it to the other Side of town ready to leave this place with no idea where you're going. But you do know no one could help you here.

“Hey-…” the voice startled you back into the present. It was the kind man Kenny, who practically forced you into his home after knocking you with his van. He said he'd call a taxi for you, the least he could do after leaving a bruise on your thigh.

Little did he know it wasn't from the car crash, but the last time you spoke to someone without permission and it extended to your butt.

“Sorry didn't mean to startle you- uhm…” He points at the handset “The taxi dispatch wants to know where you're going. I'd get another ice pack.” He hands you the phone and walks into the other room.

Last time you spoke into one of these you watched Sydney ran from a psycho killer while hiding in the closet like a coward. Life is funny right?

“Hello…” You echoed hiding a crack. There was a brief silence. You wished it stayed silent. “Hello..” The voice on the other line rang.

You stayed silent, frozen. You didn't even know how to react. In a burst of energy you rushed to hang up only for the voice to speak again. “Hang up and I'll slice your throat!” Such a vulgar threat could only steam from one person. Billy was the one on the line.

You stay frozen in your pursuit. “What do you want from me?” You cried, he could hear the despair in your voice. Wouldn't be surprised if he could see it in your Face too through whatever window he's looking through.

He chuckled into the receiver before speaking. “I want to play a game with you.” You didn't have time for his games, but you didn't have a choice. It was to face the consequences of your actions. You had to.

You also had the habit of mustering fake short-lived courage- delusions “Fine, I'll play your game.” You got up from your sorry position.

“Awh, what a good girl.” That was said by Stu no doubt, the voice sounded slightly different. And it had a subtle echo and static to it, almost like it was said from a telephone inside the house. “I knew you'd come around… It's called GUESS HOW YOU'LL BE PUNISHED.” Billy shouted.

He sounded angry. Why wouldn’t he be? But you're just as desperate to stay alive. You walked around the house twisting locks for every window and door you see. But you couldn’t help but wonder where the owner of the house was.

You came across the door to the backyard. A big glass door you could see the whole yard through. Something drew you to stare outside for a while. “Can you see me?” Billy taunted

“I am two seconds away from calling the police.” Your courage is waning.

“Theyd never make it in time” He chided. “You ran far. Were in the middle of nowhere” You were getting desperate to end all of this now.

“Looks like you didn't fucking look, I'm not The only person here.”

“What? You mean the camera boy Kenny?”

God no, you have to be kidding. “...How do you know his name?” You questioned. Brief silence now you were wishing he'd just say Something. It was so like him to use innocent people to get what he wants.

“Turn on the patio lights.” He instructed. Your hands shook. You looked around the door, when you found the switch your finger rested on it hesitated. It wouldn't move, your body won't listen almost like it was remembering how scared of them you really were.

You forced yourself to turn it on and the sight you saw reminded you why you stopped running, stop telling people. You instantly regretted everything.

Kenny was tied to a chair, no doubt already tortured. Your eyes met his, reaching for the lock to ran outside Billy’s voice rang in your head again. “I wouldn't do that if I were you.”

Salty tears streamed down your face. God you were so dumb for ever thinking you could leave. “I wanna play a game.” He insisted. You stayed silent contemplating Your life choices.

“Or he dies right now.” Billy barks. You let out a pleading ‘no’ before continuing “What kind of game.”

“Turn off the lights, you'll see what kind of game.” You did as he said, even going as far to unplug the light. You curled onto the floor, crying and holding the handset in tears.

“Go back into the other room, theres a surprise waiting for you there. Leave the door open this time so you can see patio”

“Don't do this please…” your voice was soft, but it wasn't enough to calm him down. “Come on it'll be fun” His voice also soft, insisting you play his fucked up game. “Please…” You continued to plead although you're still walking.

When you reached the same room you were supposedly safe in about ten Minutes ago, It had changed. The pillow arrangement on the couch seemed all too familiar.

“Remember when you used to grind yourself on your pillow, moaning my name? Thinking no one was watching you?” God, that was a long time ago. Even before you two dated, how the hell did he know. How long has this obsession been going on?

“Don't let me tell you what to do, [Name].” You knew what he wanted. He wanted you to reenact those days. You threaded closely. You did just like how you used to. You'd remove your shirt and bra, teasing your nipples, checking outside the window to see if anyone was watching you, but you'd never close them.

Just like then, there was no one there. But just like then he was still watching you. You slowly climbed out of all your clothes

You aligned the pillow ready to loose yourself. Only to see a new set of panties to your side. “It was Stu’s idea” He laughs over the line. “Come on… give them a try.” You could practically hear the smirk on his face

You're left stunned when you see the content inside those lacy briefs. These sick bastards. Though the dildo wasn’t as long and girth as the dick you knew well and dreaded, it had the same vein and curve as Billy’s. How do you know the curve and vein? How could you not when it pounds in you everyday countless hours at a time.

You did as expected wearing the dildo-panty. Fuck it felt like he was placing his tip inside you, like he was really here. He told you to continue your routine, first you’d play and stipulate your nipples while slowly grinding on the pillow.

You’d wait for that first shudder and your cunt to be wet enough. God did it feel just like old times. Then after the first song you’d shift your focus to the pillow, riding and grinding. You thought you were the one shaking for a minute till you realised– it wasnt just a dildo, it was a fucking vibrator.

Just as you realise the intensity shot up making you scream holding the pillow tighter. “Don’t stop, keep grinding my dick baby.. Awh thats a good girl.” His voice was shaky like yours.

The intensity went down but it was still on. Trying to get your rhythm you went slower. “Fuck faster.” Billy huffs in a breath. It vibrates faster making you ride faster. Almost like hitting a horse to prompt its speed.

The pleasure you were feeling was through the roof. Pillow humping already got you so high, now to add Billy’s dick in you and vibrator in you, your mind was overwhelmed by the pleasure and thought of incoming pleasure making your brain fog.

Now all that was needed to complete this would be “Mmmhm… touch play with your tits baby. Just like I taught you to do.” Stu commands. God now Stu’s sweet talk everything was complete.

Your fingers squeezed your breast out, massaging them. Teasing them by running digits past the soft side of your nipple. You’d finally reach for your nipples pulling them out. It wasn’t like how he did it, but it still worked just enough to get them hard and tingling.

With Billy in you, riding him and him playing with the speed, and Stu in you ear whispering dirty nothings, guiding you on how to worship your breasts. It wasn’t long before you had to come

And surprisingly they allowed you to. “Please- I’ so close…” you’d beg. Billy had gone quiet and Stu was a moaning mess in you left ear. “Trust me, we do too.”

You’d admit sometimes you’d hear Billy say ‘look at our princess, Stu” or Stu say “Oh shit, Billy”. It wasn’t very loud more like background noise the phone picked up.

A tiny part of you felt a pang of jealousy that they were somewhere in this house sucking each other and fucking without you. “Come on baby… cum for us” Billy voice spoke for the first time in a while.

The single command was enough to gush a mess out of you. You also heard a groan from Stu, and an orgasm growl. They were no doubt reliving themself to the sight of you. “Thats a good girl.” Billy praised you.

At least it was all over– you thought. Out of nowhere the patio lights turned on, your heart sank seeing Kenny on a bloody chair no doubt having heard everything. A shadowy figure, it moved like a ghost, reached out to his neck.

The knife glisten in the moonlight, so did his blood when the knife slit open his throat. “NO! NO! STOP I- I DID WHAT YOU ASKED!” YOu rush to the door but you don't open it, you dont have the guts to.

“Yes you did, and thats why your parents aren’t dead and you aren’t in a van to New Jersey Right now.” No, no, he cant do this. “But poor kenny… he has to go”

“No… fuck you.” You say through a sob, were you sobbing over his death or fear? “I wouldn’t worry about Kenny, if i were you. I’d be thinking about myself.”

Could your heart sink any further? “No- stop it! You listen, I played your games-”

“No you listen to me you fucking slut. I gave you a simple taste of freedom, I was NICE. Then whores like you who can’t appreciate what their masters do for them had to fuck it up! Poor little naive girls who disobey daddy like you, need punishment.” You slide down like and egg thrown at a windshield on the glass.

“No- I…I” You cry your breath heavy, after all this you don’t even get a break. “You know what how about we play another game” he calms down

“I-... I cant-”

“You do what I tell you or all that was for nothing. I’ll tie you up and stuff you in the back of a car for days, no food, no water till we reach the other side of the country”

That shut you up. “See you can be a good girl when you learn… now how about we play a fun game of hide and seek. Im counting…”

Your heart beats he can’t actually be serious right? “1.”

But you did everything like he said “2.”

No, no you were being selfish “3.”

You were a stupid and selfish not thinking of others “4.”

At five you dropped the phone and ran looking for somewhere to hide. You ran up the stairs even tripping on few steps, this chase felt all too familiar.

You ran up to a closet, Typical yes but you couldn't get under the bed. You played this game as a kid.

The closet is where you always hid, and the closet Is where Stu always found you.

You counted the remaining seconds yourself- if only your perception of time was still accurate. 9… 10.

You heard a thud, like a ghost coming out of his hiding place at night. Footsteps, coming up the stairs. It's getting closer and closer. Your heart beating in your ears with each step. Gasps and heaves of air with each creek of the floor board. Then silence.

Had he left? Had he given up? Oh you wished. CREEEEEEK! The door hissed. He was in the room. You could feel his presence. “Found you…” Stu’s voice cooed. You stopped breathing, he stood in front of the closet, his chest heaving out his laughter that filled the room. But your body was paralysed, still and stiff.

Your body wouldn’t move, Your eyes wouldn't shut, you couldn’t breath. “What do I have to pull you out?” He ticks “1..”

Your fingers start shaking, voice cracking tiny sounds, tiny crys. “2.. Last chance”

You accept your fate, but don't embrace it. He doesn't even say the last number, he grabs you out of the closet pinning you against it. His eminent boner presses on your ass. He reaped pleasure from you squirming in his grip– grinding his dick.

The closer and tighter he gripped, the more you’d squirm. “I trusted you… you wouldn't betray me baby…right?” You tried to climb out of the grip instead, hitting his tip repeatedly making him weak, but not weak enough to let go.

“Billy was pretty angry.” He says between moans, at this point he's getting tired of being kicked in the knee and shins but he continues. “But I told him, if we can only show you how to behave, you’d be good for him. So don’t worry… I’d teach you how to use you mouth not for talking but sucking, and legs not for walking but being rendered useless after we’ve destroyed you ability to walk.”

You know most of the time you talk about Billy. The controlling scary dom, but you know whats even scarier, a mentally ill teenage boy in love. God from all the true crime stories you've e watched you know how terrifying they could be.

Stu was normally not that,he was laid back even pleading for you in some cases but tonight Billy had left him unchecked, he felt betrayed and would do anything to keep you around. ‘Teach you a lesson.’ God if an unchecked switch didn’t scare you, you didn't know what did.

He pulled you to the bed pushing you abruptly face down. A creek of the door opening and you sigh in relief. You’d never thought you’d be so happy to see Billy after being so disobedient.

But when he walks in he doesn’t say a word. He strip from the mask and robe sitting quietly in a dark corner. “Fucking ravish her.” That was the final command to open the gates of hell. Like letting loose of a dog's leash and trust he did not go easy on you

What time was it? It was still dark outside… or just this room… or maybe just your eyes. Fuck your eyes hurt from all the water and sobs. Our voice is gone. Your hole was gaping at an empty space waiting to be filled to the absolute limit like it has been for the past few minutes.

Your cervix is in the same state as the berlin wall. No it doesn’t feel good. Just hurts. But you do feel pleasure from your clit. Yes long after he stopped paying with it

Cum was all around, but none yours. They made you clean up every last bit of your arousal with your tongue. Whether it's on the floor or wall, doesn’t matter. They expect a hot steamy exchange of saliva when you were done just to taste you

You now remained motionless in-between Them. Billy came back inside your cunt while Stu took a tighter approach to your asshole.

You could feel the friction in your ass and cunt, but you gained pleasure from your clit. Which was just poking out as Stu had made it.

You didn't know how long this will go, how long it had already been going or If it will ever stop. All you know is you're going to pass out.

rezitio ©. Yeah I'm sorry I took so long that one is on me, kinda rushed so mb! 😞

CNC/DUB-CON. being called good girl mltp times, phone sex?, pillow humping, moaning in ear, sweet talk, mentions of Billy and stu getting it on watching you masturbate, gore and death (bystander), mentions of physical abuse (bruises from spanking), gory threats, remote control vibrator, hide and seek, double p, passing out, switch! Stu, forced sub!r, dom!Billy, grinding stu, pinned against a closet, fear play

[georgiapeach30513]

With Your Touch, Part 6

Summary: Lloyd and you have to establish clear boundaries

Pairings: Lloyd Hansen X Reader

Rating: mature

Warnings:  explicit language, D/s dynamics, mentions of abuse, misogyny, detailed ways Lloyd wants to murder The Verb, Lyla Bee 🥺, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 5K

Previous

Series Masterlist

Lloyd blows a soft breath of air over your face, and you remain asleep. Holding onto Lyla, while he clings to you both. It didn’t take long after the too serious conversation for you to nearly pass out from exhaustion, and he just holds you. His eyes move between you and Lyla, and he wonders how he ever got here. Gulping because you’ve ruined him.

He’s no longer the man that he used to be; careless, cocky, arrogant, snide, brutal, and so many other things. He’s Lloyd. He’s daddy. He’s heard you working with Lyla trying to get her to say that one word. When in reality he wishes that you would start teaching her another word. Mama.

It’s a title that you do deserve. More than he even deserves the name daddy. You spend nonstop time with her. Enjoy her. Take care of her like she is your own. And you are happy doing it. The way the two of you are curled into one another, he doesn’t have to question it. This is a mother’s love. A mother’s touch. She’s yours. And in that process of becoming a mother, you’re healing yourself of the deeply embedded wounds of your raising.

He doesn’t doubt you’ll continue to give Lyla the love and care that she deserves, but now it’s his job to make sure you have the love and care that you deserve. If you are to be giving yourself freely to him and Lyla, he has to reciprocate. He has to make changes. Tonight was too close. You could have been hurt more than you were. And you were hurt enough, and because of your upbringing, you just accept that men should be allowed to walk all over you, and use you to their every whim.

You’re to be seen not heard, and some big bad man will give you enough money for you to keep your mouth shut. Acting like money was worth it for the hell that you’re enduring. He doesn’t want you to think that what Chase did to you was okay, or that you deserved it because he was your boyfriend. That just makes it all the more worse. He was supposed to protect you. Lloyd will give you all the time that you need to process that, and he will be waiting. He’s never been more sure about something in his life. He wants you, and your worth the patience he has to have.

“Lloyd,” Ari says at the door of Lyla’s room. Lloyd rolls his eyes up to meet Ari’s, and he watches his partner sigh. It didn’t take a genius to know that Lloyd’s obsession has slowly turned into love. “He’s on his way to the warehouse,” Lloyd nods. He’ll deal with Chase slowly later.

“You guys need sleep,” Lloyd gives him a head nod, keeping his eyes on you. You and Lyla are keeping him grounded when his body is raging with the need to seek revenge. “Lloyd.”

“You’re going to wake her up. You…”

“Shh, her room is clean, and new sheets, but I think she and Lyla would sleep better in your bedroom,” he finally meets Ari’s eyes. “Yes. Not that you need my permission, but take them in your room. We need to talk,” Ari retreats quickly. He never is one to linger. He’s right. Lloyd shouldn’t hold the two of you all night, but he would.

He stands slowly, and only Lyla stirs. Her chubby cheeks smoosh more into your body, making her more adorable from her comfort being close to you. He doesn’t know how he’s going to get the baby out of the tangle of your arms without waking you, but he’ll stay there and wait for you to drift off again.

He treats your body like you’re the most delicate porcelain as he carries the two of you into his bedroom. Your body is so spent you only hum as he lays you down. Trying to untangle your arms around Lyla, and he lays her down right beside you. In the place that would be in between him and you. If he planned on sleeping tonight.

His heart feels as empty as his arms when he walks down the hall and into the living room. Staring at Ari who is distracted by something on the table, “What do you want me to do?”

“We’re not staying here,” Ari gives a nod. “I’m going to take some time off,” Ari nods again. “And I want that little prick kept alive. I need him mended, so I can torture that stye painfully slow. I want to rip his entrails out with my bare hands, and I want him to watch me finger knit with it.”

“You’re very graphic. But I don’t think you know how to knit of any kind,” Lloyd would find out. He wants the putrid stench to fade from life, knowing Lloyd Hansen took that last breath from him.

“I’ll figure it out on my time off. What more is there to discuss?”

Ari’s fingers drum on the table, contemplating how he’s going to talk to Lloyd about this. He’s a sensitive soul. Becoming more sensitive when it comes to ‘his girls’. “You’re falling,” Lloyd doesn’t respond. He doesn’t have to explain himself to Ari. The only one he will discuss his feelings with is asleep.

“I’ve seen it for a while. But tonight — Lloyd, you’re in fucking deep. Chase isn’t your enemy, and you battered his face,” not his enemy? Chase defiled you. That Verb deserved more pain than he felt tonight.

“What was I supposed to do? He was,” Lloyd’s face turns from anger to deep seeded agony. The veins in his arms ripple thinking about your pitiful cries. And that man antagonizing you. Demanding you, and you wailed. Your cries will haunt him, but the pain he made you suffer is unforgivable. “You didn’t hear her.”

“That’s not what I’m saying, and you know.”

“Then fucking say it.”

“You don’t like to get bloody. You wanted to feel his pain,” Lloyd starts to shake his head, but Ari raises a gun. “You could have shot him. Admit to me that you love the girl.”

“I don’t have to admit shit,” Ari smirks. Starting to lean back on the couch. “And even if I did, what does it fucking matter?”

“Why do you want to kill her father?” That is a bit more complicated. He didn’t see Roman physically harm you, but he knew he hurt you just by your actions alone.

“He tried killing her spirit. It seems fair. Is there a problem here?” Ari smiles, shaking his head no. “I feel you have something to say, and if you do, say it.”

“I have. You denied it. Lloyd, I hope you know what you’re doing. You’re making it a dangerous world for these two girls. They will need security detail. Or you’re going to have to scale back. I need you to know, I’ve got your back. That’s all. I’m not here to tease you, I just want you to admit to yourself how much that woman is sinking into your soul,” Lloyd breathes in deeply. Giving a nod to his friend as he turns to go down the hallway and back to his girls.

“And Lloyd. Take a bath. She’ll thank you for it. I had someone scrub the security footage. Nobody knows that the foul stench of an abscess tooth was here. That girl has been through a lot because of Roman. Maybe try talking to her about those experiences and how you can be different.”

“Are you giving me advice?”

“Yep,” Ari pops the p as he goes to stand up. “She wants to take care of you, too, buddy. She’s a good one. Don’t fuck it up.”

Lloyd watches as his most trusted friend leaves the apartment, and he collects himself, running his palm down the front of his face. He has no idea what he’s doing. He just knows that he wants to do it, and be with you. That’s all that mattered to him. Not the difficulty that could come with being with you. He’d make it work. He was already waiting on the final piece of the puzzle to make sure Lyla would be nowhere, but with him. And you.

You jump up in bed. Wiping off your arms, and face. Feeling him all over you. The creep’s smell was all over your skin, and you had to get him off. And then the panic. You weren’t in your room. You’re alone. “Lloyd! Lloyd!”

Smoke seeps beneath a door, and you know you’re dreaming. Looking down to your side, a sleepy Lyla whines, wiping at her eyes. “What are you doing? Lloyd!” You scream again, picking her up, you hold her close to you. Your skin crawls, and your chest tightens. You couldn’t breathe.

“L-L-Lloyd,” it sounds strangled as tears fall down your face. Feeling like the walls are caving in. You want to rock in place, but if that was smoke, then there’s fire. And you have to get out. “Lloyd!”

The door opens up, and Lloyd in just a towel has his eyes searching around the room. It wasn’t smoke. “Sweetheart,” he rushes over to your side, and pulls you and Lyla into his wet chest. “Are you okay?”

“Where,” you begin, and gulp. You try to calm yourself, and focus on his breathing. Lyla giggling a bit helps. Not to mention the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, “Where am I?”

“My bedroom. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. What…tonight wasn’t a nightmare?” Lloyd whispers no, and rubs a hand down your cheek. His grip never tightens, and your cheek is damp from the beads of water on his titties, and your tears. “I need to shower,” Lloyd reaches for Lyla, and she quickly looks up at you. Leaning into your body like a hug, not wanting to be away from you. “Can daddy hold you? I’ll…Lloyd can you sit in there with me?”

It’s nothing sexual, just the need to not be alone. “Yeah. Lyla, come on, baby. Let’s let Dolly take a quick shower. And we’re going to keep her safe and cozy. You want to wear one of my shirts?” You give him a nod and a smile. Words are a bit difficult now. Scooting to the edge of the bed, you give Lyla a kiss on her head before walking into the bathroom with the door open and you remove your clothes.

It doesn’t occur to you to close the door because that will create a barrier between you, and you don’t want that; fear it even. You don’t turn to see if Lloyd is watching, again, it’s not sexual. It just feels right.

Lloyd softly sings to Lyla while he sits on the edge of the sink, and you shower. His bathroom is so much nicer than yours. Shower heads in every direction and you let the water and soap wash the night down the drain. Breathing in the steam, and using his lullabies as a way to set you at ease.

“Did you kill him?”

Lloyd waits too long to respond, so you assume he did, but just doesn’t want to tell you. You aren’t new to death, “Do you want me to answer truthfully?”

“I’d prefer that,” closing your eyes, you stand in the warmth. Turning the water up as high as you can stand, you let the heat sanitize you from Chase’s touch, and your skin prickles and burns with the flowing fire.

“No, I didn’t,” his voice is so flat. “Why are you asking?”

“Do you plan on killing him?”

“Yes. Are you wanting me to spare him?” You peek around the edge of the shower. Your eyes lock in on his, and shake your head no. “I would if you wanted me to.”

Him saying that means more than you thought it would. You turn the water off, stepping right into his line of vision, and he fails to keep his eyes on yours. Instead his sight is roaming all over your dripping body. “I want you to do what’s necessary. One time when I was a child I begged my father to spare a man. He obliged. A week later we were thanked with a threat and the head of my mother’s cat. I won’t ask that of anyone ever again.”

He licks his lips as you grab a towel and begin to dry yourself off. Lyla already asleep again, but his hungry eyes can’t stop fucking you. It’s sick with the conversation at hand, but you love it. Love that he can boldly ogle you with no shame or care. And still not touch you. “The Verb isn’t a threat to me past a good beating. He’s not an enemy to my organization. But he is an enemy of mine, and he will pay for his sins against you.”

“I trust you,” you answer, leaving too many buttons undone as you walk in front of him. “You do what you need to. What you feel is the most satisfying and best.”

“Don’t tempt me,” his eyes are hard as he stares at your hardened nipples peaking up through his shirt. The ribbons of water wettening the material, and leaving little to the imagination.

“Don’t tempt you with my body or my approval of carrying out Chase’s punishment?” He smirks as his eyes linger at your chest. His desire to rip the shirt open, and attach his mouth to your tit blinding him. You purposefully didn’t fully dry yourself off. Letting the material mold to your curves. “Lloyd?”

“Either,” he gives a final look down your chest before he meets your eyes, “You’ve been tempting me the moment you walked into my life. And if it wasn’t for what that fucker did tonight, I would really be struggling to contain myself. If you want attention, ask. You don’t have to be a tease.”

You take a slow calculated breath. Your own eyes drifting down his toned impeccable body. Each cord of muscle is tightened as he tries to contain his need to pounce on you and claim you. The way he cradles Lyla with a delicate touch, makes him so much more sexy, “Will you — hold me tonight?”

He smirks. Extending the baby towards you. “I’m going to get her bassinet. That way I can hold you all night long,” you whimper at the thought. Nothing could make you feel more secure than his arms.

“Can you put her on my side of the bed?”

“Of course,” he bows as he walks out of the bathroom. Traveling the short distance to her room, you gaze down at her perfectly smooth skin. She’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. It seems silly, but the times you’ve imagined her being yours, and calling you mama are far too many. You love her. It didn't matter how much you wanted her to be yours, she couldn’t be. She had a mother elsewhere.

“Alright. I’m going to roll this here. You go ahead and put the Lyla Bee there, and we can snuggle,” with a lingering kiss to her head, you lay her into the bassinet. You get into the bed first, and place a hand on hers. Needing to feel her steady breathing, and you look over your shoulder as Lloyd lifts up the plush blankets. His boxers sit low on his waist. So low you see the sprinkling of hair right above his cock, and you wish he would just be nude.

He slides into the bed, and you release a sigh of relief as his arm wraps around your waist and pulls you tight up against his front. His mustache tickles the back on your neck, and you’ve never felt safer. Here in his arms makes sense and feels so right. Your eyes slowly close, and you feel a single kiss on your skin. But choose not to say anything, and he gives you another before inhaling your scent. And then, lightness.

A man with so much power that can strike instant fear should not be as soft as he is with you and Lyla, and yet, here you are. Wrapped in a secure safety cocoon of his arms, while you hold onto his baby. Resting in a sleepless dream. It’s the first time in years. And you love it.

Lyla shakes her head no, giggling because Lloyd tries to take her out of your arms. Her chubby little hands slap at his, until he finally relents, and quits torturing her. “Fine. Fine. I was going to show you your room, but maybe I should start with,” Lloyd gulps as he looks at you. His face flexes, and you wonder if he’s at war with himself. “Let’s look at Dolly’s room.”

“My room?” Lloyd nods, looking over you confused. “Our room,” Lloyd’s eyebrows raise as he nods his head. He may get used to you being more assertive. “I don’t want to be alone,” you haven’t wanted to be alone since that night. And now that he’s brought you out of the city, you want to be by his side, and prefer that Lyla is there as well.

“I didn’t ask for your explanation. If you’re comfortable with that, and that’s what you want. I think we’re both aware of where this relationship is going. And there’s something else I’d like to discuss,” Lyla lets out a big scream, her hand slaps your chest, and you look towards her. You’ll deal with his comment about where the relationship is going momentarily. Right now a nearly ten month old is begging for your attention.

Her mouth opens and closes, “Are you going to say dada? Go on, Lyla Bee, say dada.”

“Ahhh!” She screeches, looking up at you. A bit of frustration linked on her face, “Ma,” your eyes go wide looking towards Lloyd. “Mamamamamamama!!!” her daddy claps his hands. Laughing, smiling, and reaching towards her. Congratulating Lyla on her outburst of saying — mama.

“You did it! Oh my beautiful baby! You came in way too early, but you couldn’t help it,” your chest heaves with how hard you’re breathing. Unable to fully describe what you’re feeling, or even how you feel. She called you mama.

It’s not until you’re wiping your cheeks that you realize you’re even crying. You’ve never loved someone the way that you do Lyla, and even if you’ve imagined being her mother, and don’t correct people that call you her mom this is almost too much. Like the things you’ve been wanting are coming to fruition. Lloyd whispers your name as he pulls you into an embrace. He rests his chin on the top of your head, swaying the three of you back and forth. This would almost feel like it is going too fast had you not been watching Lyla for months.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“I’m not her mother though.”

“No, you’re not. You’re her mom,” Lyla repeats the syllable over and over again. Giggling, and trying to get your attention by smacking at your shoulder. “You might not have birthed her, but you’ve become her mom. It only seems fair, and if you don’t want her to call you that,” he exhales slowly, and you furrow your brows watching his face show so many emotions. “I’ll respect your wishes,” he didn’t want to respect your wishes, and still he would.

“Where does that leave us?”

“Just where we are. Me, waiting patiently for you to decide where you want this relationship to go.”

“And if I don’t want anything romantic?” This is such a lie, but you need to know. Would he force into a relationship if you said you didn’t want it.

“Then why are you asking about our room?” You didn’t realize you had been trying to backtrack the status that you had set until now. Lloyd offered for you to have a separate room from his, and you insisted that you share. Lloyd offered to sleep on the couch while you were in his room, but you pouted for him to snuggle with you, and he did.

He had given you space, ample amounts of times. Allowed you to set the tone of the relationship, and it was you every time that was pulling him back into something romantic. It wasn’t trauma bonding. While there was a traumatic experience between the two of you, you’d been feeling things for him long before that night.

You goaded him. You teased him. You felt yourself come over and over again with his name on your mouth. Pranced in front of cameras he hid in your room and put on a show for him. You wanted him to break, and he never did. You heard him stroking his cock and moaning your name, but that’s because you went looking. He didn’t cross boundaries that you had put up.

“I’ll admit that I sowed the seeds of my attraction towards you, and made it clear immediately. When I pulled you over my lap and spanked you, I did enjoy seeing your pussy leaking, dripping, and clenching around nothing. I knew that you wanted more than anything for me to fuck you right there. Have you leaned over the couch while I fucked you so deep you can’t see straight. But until you explicitly say the words, I am just your employer. But Lyla is something else entirely.”

Those filthy words oddly sound like a beautiful sonnet. Yes, Lloyd pushed, and even demanded to be a dominant role in your life, but it wasn’t a push that made you hate him. It made you desire him more. And you have spent months wishing the man would just tell you what he was going to do to and for you.

You are so tired of being what others wanted. He got it. You wanted it, despite how depraved it may be. So he made the decision from you. Letting you sink into his world of sin without compromising your morals, because he was making you. But you wanted him to.

There are ways that you are becoming exactly what was expected of you, a kept woman. Except the way that Lloyd treated you, it was like you actually had autonomy in the situation. With Chase it was what he wanted, when he wanted it. Lloyd gave you a freedom that you didn’t think you would ever get, and you hadn’t realized it. And then he made you crave his rules. Because you also wanted to break some of those rules. Wanted to see him lose control because you knew he would take you to a place where you didn’t have to think.

“Explain this to me like I’m a child.”

“I can’t explain the things I want to do to you then. Because you’re not a child.”

“Then just put it into simple terms,” his mouth quirks crookedly. As if this animalistic part of him understands the delicate dynamic of your relationship. Balance. It all relies on balance, and trust, and love, and respect. All things that you’ve never been given.

“When Lyla is awake, we are as normal a couple as our neighbors,” gone is the city life. Lloyd couldn’t take such chances with you and her. Now you’re out in the suburbs with sprawling land on the property, secluded at home and still close enough to a small town that you and Lyla can live and not have people constantly watching you.

“When she’s asleep, everything will depend on your behavior.”

“Oh?” You inquire. Your fingers softly scratch over Lloyd’s belly, and the sweetest little baby smiles her two tooth grin, looking between the two of her favorite people.

“You’re pushing it now because Lyla can’t talk. But if you misbehave, I will have to punish you. I will have to drag you over my lap, while your bare ass gets spanked. And depending on how well you take it, I just may put you on your knees, so I can fuck you like the slut you are,” he pauses, waiting to see how you respond to his degradation. Reading your visual cues. His lips press just below your ear, and he chuckles.

“You’re heating up. I bet if I put my hand between your thighs, I could feel your cunt pulsing with a need to have me buried in you. You need a safe word. And I will obey. And I will not go further if you want me to stop.”

Your mind races as his hand travels from your hip. Dipping lower and lower. Skirting over your core to the other leg. “What will it be?”

“Night — nightingale.”

“Good girl,” you preen, but his hand stops their movement. “Now, do you want to make lunch or watch the baby.”

“What?” You look at him confused. He was just…he’s a fucking tease.

“The things I want to do to you, Lyla Bee has no business being a part of. However, it is lunch time, and I’m famished. If you’re ready for me to fuck that pretty little pussy stupid, you’ll have to wait,” you glower at him, and he smiles. “That’s for all those times you put on a show for me. Exposing those pert tits. Later, if you don’t want me to touch you, you can give me a striptease. And I will keep my hands off you, and just watch, until you say go. Here, you take the baby. I’ll make us some lunch.”

“You’re mean,” you whine. It is obnoxious how pitiful you sound, but he is teasing you. Touching you everywhere that you want him, and denying you.

“Aww,” he kisses your temple softly, handing you the baby. His mouth lingers on your skin. His warm breath fans over you, and thankfully Lyla giggles to break the trance, “But I’m not cruel. If you want me, you get this, so we have to be adults and be patient. But I can promise you, I will treat you with the utmost respect, and I will never make you feel like you are a prop in our lives. Do you understand that? Teasing is fun, but I won’t push you beyond your limits. If you need me to be what I am when we’re sleeping, I need to know. If you need me to fuck you stupid, I need to know. If you want me to make sweet beautiful love with you, I need to know.”

“You’re giving me a choice?” You’ve never been given a choice as to how sex should be. You just let them decide for you.

“It was always your choice,” he answers solemnly. His head bows, and he walks away to quickly. His own head spinning as to what you could have endured, especially with that infected cut on his arm. The Verb. One day, Lloyd will enjoy ending The Verb’s life so slowly that he begs for a quick kill. It won’t happen.

“Where’s Lloyd?” Roman demands, walking into Ari’s office. He gets too close to the man, and with one finger, Ari pushes him back. Roman is a nobody in this organization. Ari could end him before Roman even blinks. But then he’d piss off Lloyd, “Levinson, where is Lloyd?”

“Not here,” he doesn't have to tell Roman anything about Lloyd’s whereabouts. That is a need to know basis.

“He hasn’t been here for over a week,” your father’s stature is pathetic. He’s a tall wide man, but he doesn’t have the control to wield fear into people. Lloyd could eat him alive. Smiling at the man while he forks out his innards. Roman may look the part, and he may be smart, but he’s a fool.

“I take it you didn’t hear about the break into his apartment?”

“That doesn’t warrant his absence,” oh, Ari may have to keep this conversation to himself. Anything involving you, sets Lloyd in a terrible mood. Ari’s eyes slowly glance down the man’s body. “What?”

“Do you even know who is living with Lloyd?”

“My daughter,” there’s a pregnant pause between the two of the men, before Ari chuckles. Roman could never understand feelings such as love. Women are lesser beings to him, and none lesser than you, “I don’t see any reason to get all upset and for him to be missing.”

“You didn’t even ask what happened,” Roman stands there, immobile. His eyes are blank. “Someone broke into your daughter’s room.”

“She’s alive?”

“Yeah,” Ari didn’t quite subscribe to the fact that Roman hated his daughter like Lloyd thinks, until this moment. His expressions never waivers. He’s completely unphased.

“Where’s Lloyd then?” Rolling his eyes, Ari sighs, and turns his chair back around. He doesn’t even flinch when Roman's hand slaps the wall. His voice growling and low, “He’s fucking her, isn’t he? Her bitch of a mother taught her well. Spread your legs for a willing participant to make you rich. Guess she learned from the best. Do I get a bonus for giving Lloyd a live in sex doll?”

Ari smirks, staring at the computer screen. Letting Roman monologue his way into a bigger pile of shit than he already was. “We’re the same. I guess you need a pretty one with good breeding to be your broodmare, and on your arm for galas. But Lloyd Hansen will always have his professionals that he can really have fun with. Women like my daughter are to be kept at home.”

Keep going, asshole. Ari gets it. He didn’t even know you like Lloyd did. But what is going on between the two of you, is nothing that Roman is describing. Roman is explaining himself, creating excuses to the way he is. His only wife, and his only child. Lloyd isn’t Roman, and that man is far from being Lloyd. No one but Ari has seen the way that Lloyd watches you curiously. Or the fact that he had a special task in finding Lyla’s egg donor. Lloyd would have her killed before she took Lyla away from you.

“I guess his next goal is to pretend the baby is my daughter’s. He’ll probably fuck her raw until she gives him a legitimate child,” Ari grits his teeth. The disdain he has for you and Lyla is appalling. “If she ends up pregnant, he owes me,” he says, spinning on his heels. “At least she’s worth something now.”

“He owes you a bullet in your fucking head, you idiotic moron,” Lloyd had mentioned it was time to prune the people in his circle. He knows the next one to go. But Lloyd wouldn’t be back until you allowed him in. And he’d almost broke down your walls now. You’d been letting him in little by little. Trusting him a bit more not to break you. And only then would Lloyd return. You are his only assignment. And the only thing that mattered to him.

His girls.

Next

Masterlist

@tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958 @seitmai

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@abbyyourlocalmilf @saranghaey @rogersbarber @tas-renee @kmm-fluv

[thoughtsfromlayla]

26 Ways of Taking You: C for Cockwarming

Summary: You and Dream come to a compromise after you asked for some "space." It never ends well for you, does it?

Notes: ~770 words, I kinda gave up after a while. Well maybe didn't give up but like "Well that's about it" and then called it good. Not my longest work but, still hot.

Warnings: MDNI - 18+, public intercourse (no one bats an eye though), slight humiliation, GN! reader, penetrative intercourse

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

B for Breeding ⇆ D for Doggy

You conceal your face further as another voice follows, your hands clutched desperately onto Dream’s jacket lapel. Your face was thoroughly red, from embarrassment or greedy pleasure, you’re not entirely sure. Beneath you, Dream is going about his business as he addresses the audience for the day. All while completely ignoring your shaking form sitting on him, cock deep and pulsing within your walls. 

Ever since he escaped from the Burgess Manor a few months ago, he has not been able to keep his hands off of you. At first, it was a welcomed touch. You had missed him for those 106 years just as he missed you. But, after a while, it got a bit ridiculous. 

He followed you around like a lost puppy, hands never leaving your waist, lips wandering from lips to neck to chest. And like teenagers in love, sneaking you between crevices and aisles to have a few fast minutes of “fun time” just to satiate his touch. You had your own responsibilities to tend to, especially after the heart of the Dreaming came back. You feel as if you would have gotten a lot more done if he hadn’t always pulled you back into bed after the first few rounds of passionate lovemaking during the waking hours. 

In a desperate conversation, you asked for space so you could get a few things done. Morpheus wasn’t at all pleased with it, as he isn’t with most things that aren’t in his control. But, for his lover? He will permit it, after one more act. 

Which is how you got here, scandally clad, arms tucked between your two chests as he talks to the Dreaming residents and your arousal soaking his pants. You felt like a top teetering on top of a highly sprung string, suspended from undeniably perfect pleasure and something not quite. What made it even more unbearable is how you could feel Dream’s smugness radiating off him. 

He had a possessive hand on your lower back, something like insurance so you couldn’t easily get off him when you thought it would be too much. The other was resting on the arm of his throne as he keeps his kingly appearance. 

“Yes, that sounds like a plausible idea,” He agrees to something you weren’t paying attention to. “What do you think, darling?” 

When he asks, he shifts in his seat and his cock moves within you, just slightly. It had the promise of pleasure but was stopped short by how little he moved in you. A mixture of a whine and whimper escapes despite your bitten lip. You only respond by nodding once, barely a tick of the head. A chuckle from Dream bounces you, barely, and just like before, barely gives you the pleasure you seek. 

“If my equal agrees then you have my permission.” His free hand shoos away the resident.

When they turn, he runs a finger down your spine and asks you another question. 

“Had enough yet, my love? Or can you go for more?” It was completely condescending, to speak to you in an “I told you so” kind of tone. And even though you were practically begging at the seams of your body for some sort of friction or release of any kind, you are just as stubborn as your King. 

“No, you can keep… going!” Your last word came out as a small squeal as he suddenly thrusts up into your weeping cunt. Your eyes roll to the back as you throw your head back with a moan that flows through the air. The open air ceiling seems to taunt you and you’re sure every dream and nightmare of the realm can hear the lewd noise you just made. The statues that were carved along the column of the room seem to turn their eyes towards the two of you, making you feel all the more exposed to Morpheus’ actions.

“Very well, let us keep going.” He lays back in his chair and his legs spread further, in turn spreading you further for him as well.

You unceremoniously sink further down on him and you’re left panting into his neck. You’re close to tears at the teasing and under stimulation you were receiving. Oh, what wouldn’t you do to have your king’s full attention on you instead of living off the scraps of his shifting movements and lazy fingers stroking circles on your hip. 

“Bring the next audience in,” Dream commands, and the doors open again. 

“You are cruel, my king,” You barely sob into his body. 

“Not as cruel as you might think,” He quips with a pinch to the supple of your hip. 

B for Breeding ⇆ D for Doggy

Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist

At the peak hours of 1:47 AM, Layla bought the entire 3,000 page series of The Sandman but said that it was free cause her tax refunds came back.

Good thing her major is not in finances.

♡ Yours, Layla

[spooklies]

# Resident Evil - Yandere Chris Redfield (PROFILE)

Type of Yandere: Chris is someone who cares a whole lot about those he loves while pretending that that side of him doesn’t exist. He’ll show he cares for you in every way but verbally at first, but in moments where you two are intimate he’s not against confessing just how much he loves everything about you. And Chris also happens to be overly stubborn once he’s set in his ways, and that in turn will make it difficult to try and reason with the man when he’s decided over something. Control, a position he’s been given since he could remember, and one he’ll hold over you whenever possible. Wearing something he doesn’t like? He’ll all but demand you take it off and change out of it. And if you refuse? Then he isn’t against using other means to get his way. He’s never physical, not unless you want him to be. He’s a man of discipline and understands the importance of boundaries. No, he’ll tap into a side of him that was trained to be a negotiator. Or in simpler terms, he’ll manipulate his darling when they do or say something he disapproves of. Sometimes he’ll even do this without realizing it. Chris has an overwhelmingly dominant air to him that calls for attention and he’s well aware of it. 

Love Language: Chris can’t help but want to do everything for his darling, not wanting them to lift a single finger if it could be helped. He’ll treat you like royalty because in his eyes you deserve nothing but the best. He’s very big on touch and will often than not seek out your presence and find an excuse to put his hands on you. “Your shoulders look tense, allow me?” And without waiting for your permission will start massaging your shoulders with the skills of a certified masseuse. He’ll then playfully scold you for exerting yourself, explaining to you why it’s important to rest. “If you don’t keep taking care of yourself then I have no choice but to do it for you.”

Their Biggest Fear: Chris has seen a lot of shit, like shit people never come back from. But when he’s with his darling then it’s as if none of the traumatic events he’s experienced happened in the first place. He’ll often think to himself, “What’ll I ever do without you?” Because in his eyes a life without you isn’t one worth living. And that thought process alone is terrifying to Chris. He’s experienced what it’s like to lose people dear to him, but imagining his darling being the person he loses? Not a chance.

Kidnapping: If his darling ever tried to leave him then he’d definitely panic and jump to the worst conclusions about why you’d ever want to leave him. Those conclusions would then escalate into Chris convincing himself that someone is manipulating you and causing you to have these ‘intrusive’ thoughts. So what better way to keep his darling safe than to keep them at home – a sanctuary he’s created to be in your liking. He’s sure that with time his darling will come to understand why he needs to keep them home and the types of danger that lurks outside waiting to take them away from him.

How Easy is it to Escape?: Near impossible. Chris is an incredibly talented man with all the training a soldier could possibly need to bring an entire government to its knees. There will be locks on every door, safes containing possible escape tools, and even people Chris could rely on to have his back no matter the circumstances. Just hope that things don’t ever escalate that badly.

Punishments (SLIGHT NSFW BUT NOTHING GRAPHIC): “You just can’t help yourself, can you?” After one too many instances of his darling going against his direct orders – house rules, as he prefers to call them – he’ll see no other choice but to teach you the importance of listening to him through more intimate means. Your hands can sometimes end up cuffed to the bedpost, lovebites littering your skin as if you’d just been splashed with paint, and tears running down your face as you squirm and whine for his forgiveness through half-lidded eyes. “Oh I’ve already forgiven you, it’s about proving a point.” And he doesn’t stop until he’s done just that.

Difference to Other Yanderes: Despite how intimidating Chris can get, on the inside he’s a giant sap that often gets compared to a teddy bear more than the fierce grizzly bear the stuffed animal is based off of. He has a lot of powerful connections which also means he’ll be able to provide more than most partners. Ever been to the Grand Canyon? Sure, why not head there first thing Monday? And then right after that how about a trip to the Himalayas for the sake of going there? He’s so used to using these connections for the sake of humanity so it’s a nice change of pace to use them to prevent non-world ending threats from coming into fruition.

[bird-inacage]

Love in the Air: Give & Take VS Give & Receive

You best believe I wrote a meta around Sky/Prapai’s Episode 12 uncut NC scene. That’s the reality we’re operating in folks. So saddle up. Episode 8′s initial collision between Sky and Prapai is the epitome of Give and Take.

Prapai proposes that Sky ‘give’ him something in return for helping him. Sky very pointedly responds with, “just take what you want”, which carries an implied ‘(I dare you)’ in that rebuttal. It’s the resigned surrender of someone accustomed to others doing just that, with little concern over his wellbeing. There’s an air of ‘Fine, ruin me for all I care. If that’s how you want to play, then do your worst.’

Episode 8′s love scene revolved around Sky trying to pleasure Prapai, because that was the condition he was trying to meet. When you give and give till you’re running on empty, you can almost convince yourself you don’t care anymore. You flirt with self-destructive behaviour because you think you’re numb. Sky does this with evident reluctancy because he hates how much he does care.

Once Prapai falls in love with Sky, he no longer wishes to see Sky fall prey to this type of mentality. Sky telling him ‘he gives in’ is not the reaction Prapai necessarily wants. Because doing so would only make him feel like he’s taking advantage. What Prapai seeks is a mutual, reciprocal relationship with Sky. An equal relationship. He reiterates this by saying ‘just because I do x, y and z, doesn’t mean I expect sex in return’. Prapai is not okay with receiving if it means Sky always has to give. Sky’s tendency for self-sacrifice doesn’t sit well with him.

Fast forward to Episode 12, Sky declares “I’m yours. All yours.” and its embroiled in devotion and rapture. Instead of being resigned to his fate, he’s actively choosing his surrender to Prapai. Rarely do we see Sky make such an open admission such as this. Rather than ‘I’m giving myself to you because I see no other option’, this is ‘I’m giving myself to you because it’s my chosen option’. The implication is anything you take from me is warranted. I’m giving you the go ahead to do so.

Even in Episode 11′s love scene, Sky uses the words “please shut up and take me”. He’s still trying to downplay the gravity of what it means when someone does this. ‘Just take me already, stop being so considerate and sentimental. It’s no big deal’. Sky still believes he has to be willing for his partner to take in order to secure their affection, and be seemingly nonchalant about it. It’s all he knows.

How Prapai chooses to respond to Sky in Episode 12′s uncut scene is what makes it so important. Instead of just ‘taking him’ up on his offer, Prapai decides to give back in a different way. To reply to Sky’s admission with: ‘if you’re putting yourself fully in my hands, then I will take care of you. I’ll do more than just take care of you, I’ll cherish and worship you.’ It’s no longer about one taking and another giving. Prapai grants Sky full permission to receive. If you give, I give. If I receive, so do you.

Oral is an act of service. You’re prioritising someone else’s pleasure before your own. When Sky realises this is what Prapai intends to do, he reacts with complete giddiness, sweetly stunned by this gesture. The notion that someone would put him first is clearly unfamiliar and unexpected. We can safely assume that all Gun ever did was take what he wanted, how he wanted.

For Sky, it was never about him, even during the highest act of intimacy. So for Prapai to make a point of doing so, to put Sky’s pleasure first and providing clear indication that ‘It’s okay, I want to do this for you’ is a huge act of love where Sky is concerned.

What’s even better when compared to Episode 8 is that Prapai gazes up at Sky lovingly before he goes in. When Sky did it, it felt very detached, he was performing based on what he thought Prapai probably wanted or expected of him during their one night stand. This is a silent declaration from Prapai of ‘this is how I want to treat you, this is what you deserve, I’m prioritising you’.

The difference between taking and receiving is assertion. Taking implies acting on what you want, upon your own desire. Whereas receiving is allowing someone to offer it to you. It signifies patience. Selflessness. It allows for generosity. It says I’ll be grateful for whatever you offer me, but I’m not demanding it. I’m letting you decide how, what and when.

It matters immensely to Sky to feel in control; to feel he has agency and choice. That’s the ultimate act of giving, is allowing the receiver to decide if they want to return the gesture without expecting them to do so. It’ll mean even more if they do.

[notafunkiller]

wildflower

Summary: After losing Alexei, Yelena is consumed by grief, but Bucky’s unwavering support becomes her refuge, igniting an unexpected connection between them.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Yelena Belova

Warnings: sadness/grief, nudïty (a bit), language, a tiny bit of angst

Word Count: 3.3K

Bucky Barnes masterlist

Bucky x Yelena masterlist

A/N: I’ve had this in my drafts for about a year and was trying to decide whether to add more to it. The story is set after Thunderbolts, and I wrote this before any details about the film were released, so the plot may not align with the actual movie. And I want to add that I don’t speak Russian, so if the translation is incorrect, please let me know so I can fix it. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy it!

And before you start coming at me "Yelena is aro", she is NOT officially aro. It's NOT canon. Research better!

Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!

She’s numb... even with Bucky holding her, it feels like she’s not in her body.

“She’s dissociating, Barnes, you can’t-”

“I am fucking aware, Walker. Do not touch her!” Bucky’s voice against her cheek is like that summer breeze she felt for the first time when she went to Barcelona. She managed to free ten widows there.

“I can help her.”

“Go to the jet.”

“Are you sure?” Another voice. A woman’s voice... But Yelena is too tired to even make the difference, not that it would matter. Nothing matters.

She closes her eyes when Bucky’s hold on her waist tightens, leaning in more against his chest before she starts to fall, and fall, and fall to her knees until she’s touching the ground.

She hears footsteps distancing, but the ringing in her ears is much louder.

“It’s okay, Yelena, let it go. I’ve got you,” Bucky murmurs, his words a gentle plea. “You are not alone.”

You are not alone.

You are not alone.

You are not alone.

But how... how can’t he see it? She is utterly alone. She has no one.

In that solitary moment, Yelena’s body quivers under the weight of her loss. Her breath hitches with each sob, and Bucky feels his own heart break in half for her.

It’s been deadly silent since the team left, leaving only her cries and Bucky’s voice softly repeating comforting phrases in Russian from time to time to echo through the air.

*

He remains close to her even in the jet, making sure he’s not invading her personal space more than he should, but she clearly wants him there. Only when he feels her calm enough, he gently stands up, offering her a reassuring look before making his way to the front of the jet.

“How’s it looking up here?” Bucky’s low voice carries a tone of subdued concern, unsure if their location is truly undisclosed, all while keeping a watchful eye on Yelena.

The pilot nods in response. “All good.”

John, sensing Yelena’s distress, places his hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, it’s alright. We’re here for you, you can talk to me.”

Caught off guard, Yelena flinches, instinctively recoiling from the unexpected touch.

The sharp cry she lets out shocks John, who drops his hand, and Yelena turns her head, her chest heaving, as her eyes seek her source of comfort.

“Bucky...”

Her voice echoes through the jet, and Bucky returns to her side instantly, looking at John with a mix of concern and anger. He told him not to get close to her. He crossed a line that was set up for a reason.

Sighing, he focuses on Yelena instead. “It’s okay. YA zdes’. I’m not going anywhere.” I’m here.

As John leaves them alone, she wraps her arms around Bucky’s neck and pulls him closer into a tight hug. He knows she wouldn’t display this level of affection or vulnerability in any other context, so she must really need it. He rests his hands on her back, rubbing circles over her thick vest even though he knows she can’t actually feel it, It’s something so familiar, yet even more heartbreaking about her pain.

They stay like this for the rest of the ride, and when they finally reach their destination, Bucky looks at her, waiting for her to let go, but it doesn’t seem like she has any energy left to even walk.

“We’re here,” he whispers softly, and she whines. “I’m gonna carry you, Yelena, alright?”

A small nod against his chest is the only answer he gets, so he stands up, his arms forming a shield around her as he carries her out.

*

There are many things she’d never anticipated before this mission: from Bob who almost killed all of them, to Alexei sacrificing himself to save her, creating a void within her that felt insurmountable.

And then there’s Bucky: with his kindness, and unwavering loyalty. His dedication in keeping her safe, even if it meant lying to the government and his friend, the new Captain America, shocked her so much. She’s never experienced this kind of... compassion. She’s never felt so safe, not even with Tasha. It’s scary, especially because he doesn’t want anything in return.

While Bucky’s preparing dinner for them, Yelena lets herself close her eyes in the bathtub, after checking the door twice, making sure it’s still open. It became more than a habit: asking Bucky to let the door open even when he takes a shower or he pees. She just can’t bear the idea of being without him even for a second. There is something wrong with her… She’s more than vulnerable, she is clingy. And as much as she hates it, she needs him. She needs this like she’s never needed anything in her life.

She tries to think about the beach, the taste of her favorite cupcakes, and then the smell of Bucky’s perfume. But it’s pointless.

As she lays in the bathtub, her mind immediately takes her back to Bob hurting them… and Bucky, and then Alexei’s last smile as he has the audacity to say her line. This is a cool way to die.

She would have been amused by him knowing the word cool if he literally didn’t die for her.

And just like that, she feels she can’t breathe.

“Yelena, are you alright?”

She can barely hear Bucky from underwater, but she can sense him kneeling right in front of the tub before reaching to her. He clasps her under the arms and lifts her enough so she could rise above the water and breathe.

Yelena blinks repeatedly, trying to clear the water from her eyes, and Bucky strokes her damp hair gently as one of his arms remains securely around her to make sure she’s not gonna fall again.

Feeling the weight of her weakened body, Yelena feels ashamed.

“I’m... I’m sorry.” Her voice is trembling.

“You don’t have to apologize. It’s okay. It’s all gonna be okay.” He presses his lips against her forehead, and Yelena’s breath begins to regulate.

“I got you all wet,” she groans embarrassed. “I don’t know why I’m so weak.” She hides her face into his shoulder. “I-I’m supposed to be strong, to know how to deal with this shit differently. Why is this drowning me?”

“You’re not weak for needing something.” He pauses, letting his words sink in before continuing, “I know it comes against everything we were taught, everything we wrapped our personalities around. But we are not robots. And what you’re dealing with is more than most people ever will. More than I ever will because my parents died before I went to the army. So it’s okay to feel the weight of that, and you’re not alone in this. You’ll make it out, Yelena. I swear on my life.”

As Bucky helps her, she notices something unexpected—his focus remains solely on her face, not even once lowering, even as he grabs the towel from the top of the washing machine. She’s taken aback while he just gently guides the towel across her shoulders.

It’s not something she’s used to; the absence of glance feels strange, almost wrong.

“Arms up, please.”

She does what he says like an obedient child, and she realizes that in this unfamiliarity, there’s an unexpected wave of relief. She knows she can trust Bucky completely… she can count on him. It’s so scary and it happened so quickly that she can’t wrap her head around the idea properly. Is this real? 

“I-I can continue,” she whispers. “Thank you.”

“You sure?”

“Y-yeah. You were making dinner, and I am starving.”

Bucky’s expression immediately softens. “Absolutely. Dinner’s almost ready, I’ll make sure you’re fed.”

She nods and reaches for his Henley —now hers— as she watches him leave.

*

He made pasta. A lot, a lot of pasta, but she isn’t complaining. It’s her favorite dish, and it looks so tasty. She knows he has quite an appetite. She watched him eat a couple of times, and he always shared, but in this context? So different.

She snorts. “You planning to feed an army?” she teases, pointing to his plate.

“We are better than an army, Yelena.”

“So true. Others would just slow us down.” She smirks playfully. “Not sure if the world is ready for us, though. We might just need to turn it upside down.”

“Yeah, turning things upside down... been there before,” he murmurs, a trace of nostalgia in his tone. “And I had my world turned upside down more times than I can count.”

Yelena’s tone softens, realizing exactly what Bucky means by that, and it breaks her heart. For him.

“Yeah, I’ve heard about some of your turns,” she sighs, looking at him. “The world doesn’t always play fair, does it?”

For neither of them. They can’t gain something without needing to give up on something else. They cannot get freedom without losing someone. They always pay a price, even for partial happiness. It’s unfair they cannot be like others. They cannot live their life without worrying about what will happen next.

Bucky’s smiles, and she is happy she can’t read pity in his eyes, just genuine understanding.

“Yeah,” Bucky whispers, trying not to think much about the past. “But surviving it, finding the way through... that’s what matters as theoretical as it might sound.” He lets the fork drop on his plate before reaching to slightly touch the back of her hand with his fingers. He’s not going to cross the limit. Her personal space is hers. But Yelena surprises him when he opens her hand enough so he can hold it.

“It’s always getting shittier for people with shitty lives, and never getting better. We do not get nice things. And we’re so used to the bad that we find a way to just survive. But this time, I felt like I couldn’t breathe for once. I almost died more times than I can count. I killed people, got beaten up, starved, but losing my sister without even being able to say goodbye, then...”

“Hey, it’s okay, you don’t need to talk about it.”

“No, it’s just... I am not used to feeling this. It’s such a weak and weird thing! Same as talking like this,” she lets go of his hand as she speaks to wave it between them. “Heart to heart. It’s just so fucking pathetic, and I tried not to be pathetic my whole life.”

“Feeling things doesn’t make you weak, Yelena,” he responds gently. “It makes you human.”

Bucky looks at her for a couple of seconds, knowing exactly what she’s feeling. Because he did it, too. For years. And he won’t let her be eaten alive by any of it. Never. “Opening up, showing vulnerability, it takes strength, which those shitheads don’t have. They traded everything: from values to their own families to get power. And this is the thing, we did not, and we still got the real power. They didn’t. We won, Yelena. And we win every day we breathe, and feel, and let ourselves be human.”

“James, I’m pathetic” she groans, her voice carrying a mixture of exasperation and distress as she stands up. “I appreciate everything you’ve done and you do for me, but stop lying.”

Bucky shakes his head in confusion. “I’m not lying, Yelena. You-”

“If you don’t find me pathetic, then how come you didn’t even react when I was practically naked in front of you? My tits were pressed-” Her cheeks flush as she covers her face in embarrassment, realizing she’s almost screaming at this point as she got so worked up over it. “I cannot even make a man be attracted to me anymore.”

Oh…

“It’s not- you’re not pathetic” He pauses, trying to choose his words carefully. “I wasn’t looking because it was disrespectful. You were in a vulnerable position.”

Ashamed, she sighs. “Sorry, I guess I’m not used to people caring without an ulterior motive.” She glances away as he stands up. “I appreciate it, James. You’re a good man. I just...”

“I understand. You need to give yourself more time.”

Yelena nods, playing with the edge of her T-shirt. “So you’re not gay or taken, right?”

She almost regrets asking it, but when Bucky’s lips pull into a smile, she relaxes, crossing her arms as she waits for his answer.

“No, Yelena, I am not gay, and I am not seeing anyone.” And as if he’s anticipating her next question, he continues. “And yes, I noticed you were naked. You were taking a bath after all.”

Yelena doesn’t know which part satisfies her more: the fact he’s single or that he can actually be funny when he wants.

“Am I your type?” She asks quickly, uncrossing his arms. His eyes immediately follow her breasts as she does, so she can’t hide her triumphant smile

“Let’s just say you’re a category all your own.”

“Oh, a category all my own?” she repeats as if she’s never heard any of those words before. She’s suddenly nervous. “Does that mean am I just... too complicated for your liking?”

He opens and closes his mouth for a second, as if he doesn’t know what to say.

“Complicated? Never said that.” His tone is as casual as possible, with only a hint of mischief. He feels rusty. For the first time he really wanted to playfully flirt. “You’re out of my league, Yelena, and you know it.”

Yelena is caught off guard completely, sensing some kind of self-doubt in his words, but he cannot really believe that, can he? He’s him... he’s incredible. He must know that, right?

“Out of your league?” she responds, keeping her voice flat while she crosses her arms again. “I don’t buy that for a second, James. Come on, I am a big girl! I can take it.”

“Can you?” He asks before he can stop himself and he groans immediately in embarrassment. Yelena, instead, not surprisingly at all, bursts out into laughter.

“Quite a dirty mind for an American.”

Bucky snorts, bringing his hand to his chest dramatically. “I am hurt.”

“You should be,” Yelena replies while slowly making her way to him. She just wants to touch him... touch his face just once. She’s been dying to do it halfway through their mission, if she thinks about it, when they stayed up all night watching over everyone. He was watching over her, too.

“Khorosho, chto ya tozhe govoryu po-russki.” Good thing I speak Russian too.

Yelena smirks, stopping very close to him, invading his personal space, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

He’s so tall and huge. He could simply lift her without any effort, and she wants it so badly. She has to shake her head off to stop picturing her legs wrapped around his naked ass as he pounds her against the wall.

“Și română,” she says casually, watching his eyes go big. She has to bite her lip not to laugh. And Romanian.

“Ești plină de surprize.” You’re full of surprises.

“I lived in Ukraine, after all, James. Neighbors.”

Not even her teasing patronizing tone could make him stop smiling.

Tired of waiting for him to do something, she uses this silence as an opportunity to make a move herself.

She reaches for the hem of her shirt, effortlessly lifting it over her head and throwing it on the floor, at their feet. Bucky freezes, caught off guard once again by her. He knows he should be respectful and look away, but he cannot help it this time. His eyes drop straight to her hard nipples.

“Yelena...” The soft way he says her name makes Yelena close her eyes for a second.

“You can touch, you know?” She giggles, grabbing his right hand just to place it on the valley between her breasts.

The sudden contact sends a jolt through Bucky, his breath hitching as surprise. Her heart is racing just like his. Despite his instinct to continue to touch her, he quickly withdraws his hand as if her skin burned him.

Yelena’s cheeks get red, her nervousness evident in the slight tremor of her fingers as she grabs her own cheeks.

“So it’s a rejection after all.”

She leans down, trying to hide how hurt she is while she gets her T-shirt back.

How stupid is she? How could she do this? She embarrassed herself.

“Yelena!” Bucky jumps, stopping her from getting dressed by snatching his Henley from her hands and letting it fall on the floor again before he cups her face.

Her face is a little wet and her eyes are getting a bit puffy.

“Do. Not. Don’t give me your pity!” He notices her accent is thicker when she speaks faster, and he finds it absolutely adorable.

“I’m not pitying you and I’m definitely not rejecting you.”

“James-”

“Yelena,” he whispers and brushes a tear off from her cheek. He never wants to see her cry, it’s devastating. Because she does it in a silent way, and he is well aware how that hurts even more. “I like you, and I want you. Trust me, if you lower your hand you could feel it yourself.”

And as if this was an invitation, she shamelessly brings her hand between their bodies, to his sweatpants and gently feels around.

He gasps in surprise.

“You are hard!” She remarks excitedly, and Bucky laughs. “So tell me something,” she continues to touch him a bit, making him moan. “If you’re this hard, why don’t you want me to take care of it? Why don’t you want me now?”

Bucky moves his hands from her face up so he can stroke her hair, sensing the vulnerability in her tone immediately.

“Yelena, you’ve been through a lot lately. You might now even want me after you feel better,” he says jokingly, but Yelena knows he actually thinks that. “I want you more than you can imagine, but it’s about more than that.”

As his fingers run through her hair, he feels the urge to protect her, shield her from further hurt.

She lets her hand fall.

“I am the person you trust, so I am not sure...” He pauses, trying to find better words. “I am not sure if you got confused because of that.”

Confused?

“Bucky!” She grabs his chin instinctively, and she almost shivers. It feels so good to be able to do this. “I’ve been attracted to you since we met. And I grew up hearing stories about you...”

“Yelena-”

“Bucky, I need you,” she interrupts him quickly, her voice cracking. She’s showing all of her cards. “I never needed or wanted something or someone like I want this.”

Bucky smiles, wrapping his arms around her waist before enveloping her in a tight hug. He has to surpass a groan when he feels her nipples against his chest while Yelena has no shame as she grinds a little against his erection.

“I might not be able to offer everything you want right now because you deserve to heal before diving into anything more with me. But after that…”

Despite the crazy urge she feels to finally fuck him, she understands the importance of his words, how hard he tries to maintains the balance between their attraction and her well-being. He’s just perfect.  No one can have him but her now.

[graciereadshannigram]

this idea for a fic has been kicking around my brain and refusing to let me rest so here's my attempt at getting it out so the bees can leave me alone.

~

Will's voice was a weapon, sharp and commanding as it sliced through the air. Stop right there," he said, his gaze intense as he pinned Hannibal with a look that brooked no argument. "Don’t lie to me."

He watched closely, almost hungrily, as Hannibal’s mask of composure slipped. It was a mere moment, a flicker of something hungry and unguarded that danced across the psychiatrist's face as his meticulous person suit slipped just an inch. The dilation of Hannibal's pupils, a tightness around his jaw—subtle, yet unmistakably a reaction.

"Oh, you like that?" Will’s words slipped out, almost without permission, tinted with a darker, more dangerous curiosity. He savored the slight falter in Hannibal’s stance, the way his usual poised demeanor wavered under scrutiny.

Hannibal attempted to regain control, his voice smooth but slightly strained. "Will, I think you misread—"

"No, I don’t think I did." Will stepped closer, once again denying Hannibal his obfuscations and cutting off the distance, his words a clear no to any form of retreat. "And I just told you not to lie."

The reaction was immediate. Hannibal swallowed, his gaze flitting across Will's face, perhaps seeking either escape or permission. "You’ve always had an effect on me, Will. I admire everything you do, as long as it’s true to your nature."

Feeling a surge of power at the raw honesty, Will took another deliberate step, reducing the space to just a breath away. His voice was softer now, a menacing whisper, "Even if it’s in my nature to control you?"

He watched the visible shudder that ran through Hannibal, the breath that hitched a bit too loudly. It was exhilarating, this visible sign of Hannibal’s composure crumbling, an acknowledgment of the dynamic that Will had always suspected existed between them but had never dared to explore.

"I didn’t mean to seduce you so soon, but I can make it work," Will mused, leaning in closer, forcing Hannibal back against the wall. He could now see, unmistakably, the arousal in Hannibal’s eyes, the quickening of his breath. It was intoxicating, the power, the control, the undeniable rush of answering arousal that coursed through him, knowing he had Hannibal right there, on the edge.

Hannibal looked back at him, his expression a mix of shock and that darker, deeper allure they seldom spoke of. "Will—"

"Tell me about the betrayal, Hannibal," Will cut in, his tone steady, one hand coming to rest against the wall by Hannibal's temple. He needed to hear it, needed to understand, even as he navigated this charged, dangerous game they were playing. "Why did you do it? Why manipulate me–and everybody else–so thoroughly and think there would be no repercussions?"

Hannibal’s voice, when he finally spoke, was calm but thick with an emotion Will couldn’t quite place. "I wanted to see you liberated, Will. Free from the constraints you so blindly follow."

"And yet, here we are," Will shot back, his voice soft but deadly, other hand coming up to fully surround Hannibal with his body. "You’re the one constrained. Does it feel liberating?"

Hannibal’s response was to close the gap completely, pulling Will in so their bodies were flush from hip to chest. "Quid pro quo, Will. I have laid bare my truths. Now show me yours."

The direct challenge ignited something fierce within Will. He met Hannibal’s gaze, his smirk widening. "If my truth involves dominating you, Hannibal, would you accept that as part of my nature?"

A faint smile touched Hannibal’s lips as his composure began to rebuild. "I find my defenses quite...receptive to your advances."

"Good," Will breathed out, a curl of satisfaction unfurling within him. This was just the beginning, a new dynamic unfurling, and he was eager to see where it would lead. "Because I’m just getting started."

[viaoverthemoon]

Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Welcome back, Beloved Reader!

I was happy to see some of you guys were as excited as me for this chapter. I couldn't wait to post it ahhh!!

I hope y'all are ready for some questions to be answered.

Why did Leon bed Lady Ada? Will you ever forgive him? How does Lady Ada feel about all this? I don't know guys... It feels like the King of Duevaula is hiding in the shadows...

Let us continue!

☆*: .｡. Behind Closed Doors .｡.:*☆ Chapter 3

Medeival!Leon Kennedy x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lady Ada shares a few words with you, leaving you with harsh words and feelings burning the tip of your tongue. Meanwhile, Leon recalls the night he spent with Lady Ada and plans a way to explain what had happened.

Tw: Mentions of pregnancy, coercion into sex, sa(??), abuse, violence, angst

Please be careful reading this if you're easily triggered by these things and still want to read.

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

Enjoy!

☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.

The garden has always been your place of peace.

Flowers of all kinds lined in rows and rows of different shapes, colors, and patterns. Large, well-kept, luscious trees planted sporadically all around the space. Bushes shaped like bunnies, horses, and lions.

For once, your mind has a moment to rest after this horrible week.

You'd spent most of your days locked away in your rooms, ignoring everyone's attempts to coax you out.

Albeit, by the third day your mother had had enough.

She'd stormed into your chambers, demanding you to get out of your head for five minutes and think about how you're going to win the prince back.

And that had caused you to spiral even further.

You abandoned indoors and took to the gardens, seeking the comfort of fresh air and solitude.

So now you sit on a bench, embroidery the only thing keeping all of your screws from falling out.

Your concentration is so deep you don't even hear the footsteps nearing you.

"Your highness."

You instantly recognize the voice, hands pausing the delicate work as you slowly look up.

Lady Ada offers a curtsy, much less deep than the one she'd done for the King.

She doesn't respect you.

You take a deep breath, setting the embroidery aside. "Leave us."

The guards, save for Jill, leave immediately.

"Lady Ada... To what do I owe the pleasure?"

A smirk spreads across her red lips, posture straight as an arrow as she rests a hand on her small belly. "I merely seek conversation with the princess I am to coexist with."

You try not to sneer as she gracefully sits beside you on the bench. "Apologies, I'm sure you don't mind," Her proximity makes your skin burn. "My God, this pregnancy sure is doing a number on my feet."

Your fists ball, your eyes unable to hold hers. "I'm sure."

She seems to notice your anger, smiling in a way the Devil would approve of. "Surely your highness isn't intimidated by me... She wouldn't think that I could take her place-"

You stand, turning and looking down your nose at her in disgust. "It would do you well to remember your place, Lady Ada." You bend to grab your embroidery, pausing when your lips near her ear. "You may carry his baby, but you do not carry the other half of his crown. Always remember that."

And with that, you turn on your heel and walk away, Jill three paces behind you.

☆ Leon ☆

Read. Flip. Sign.

He can feel his gaze.

Read. Flip. Sign.

He sees him flinch in his peripheral.

Read. Flip. Sign.

He clears his throat.

"What are you waiting for?"

His posture straightens, avoiding eye contact as his chin angles high. "Permission to speak freely, your highness?"

Leon waves a hand. "You always have, Chris. Do not fear me now."

Chris, Leon's personal guard, sighs as his body relaxes. He steps closer to the desk and leans his hip on it. "Why don't you just tell her what happened?"

Leon gives him an obvious look, causing Chris to glare at him. "I know what the King said, but you love her. She loves you. I'm sure her highness will understand-"

"Loved."

...

"She loved me."

Chris scoffs. "Do not be ridiculous. You two spent years sneaking beyond your palace walls just to see each other and you're to tell me she just... stopped loving you?"

Leon exhales, dropping his pen and slumping in his chair.

He needed to think.

The effects of that night... The possibility of a bastard child...

A mistress.

It wasn't even him. He never wanted this. Never wanted her.

If only he'd stood his ground...

But now, it was too late.

-

"Father... I can't. It wouldn't be right."

Dim candle light illuminates the chamber, casting a dark shadow over the King's face.

He'd never been the type of monarch that accepted the word 'no'. Anyone to do so were immediately thrown into the dungeon and left to starve to death or until they realized how much they needed their King.

"And why would it be wrong? A King is not tied to a woman, son. A woman is tied to a man. You need not hold yourself for her."

Leon shook his head. "I've promised myself to her. I will only bed Princess-"

His words are cut off by a hand around his neck.

His body is slammed into a nearby wall as the King towers over him. Tension builds as Leon fights for air, clawing at his father's hand. But he doesn't let go, heaving heavy breathes as he grits out his words. "Listen to me boy. I will not have a child in the body of a man for a son. You will not be a man until you have bed a woman."

Black shadows form in the corners of Leon's vision, breaths coming out in shortened gasps. But the King isn't done. "So make of your mind Leon. You either bed the woman I've set for you, or am I going to have to make an example of that pretty little princess of yours?"

Leon's eyes widen, shaking his head as best he could with the hand around his throat.

Not her. Anyone but her.

He doesn't have time to think about his decision, only worried about what he could do to you.

His answer comes out pathetic, a whisper that leads back to a broken heart. "I'll- do it-"

The King let's go instantly, inhaling deeply as his fist clenches. "Excellent."

He ignores Leon's coughs and gasps for air, clapping his hands. "Bring her in."

The doors open and the skirts of a deep red dress embroidered with black flowers flows gracefully into the room.

The woman drops deep into a curtsy and grins at the prince. "Hello, your highness."

That night was not one that Leon would ever forget. His father watched every second. Up until the end, after Lady Ada had been escorted out. After the lights had all dwindled and melted wax pooled at the bottom of candelabras. After Leon had wiped his tears and sat in the bed with slumped naked shoulders.

And then, The King stood from his chair to leave. But not without saying these words.

"You will not tell anyone. Not even your mother. If you do, you can kiss your princess goodbye." He'd placed a hand on Leon's shoulder.

"You are a man now. Congratulations, son."

-

☆

"Ouch! Nara Vella!"

Your sister grimaces and loosens her grip on your hair. "Oh, sorry (y/n)! I've been practicing but I just can't get this braid right..."

You sigh, gently taking the braid from her and demonstrating how it should be done. "Over, under, untangle. You can do it Nara, just repeat those actions."

She gives a determined nod and this time, completes the braid just as you showed her.

"I did it!" She places the braid over your shoulder so you can see it. "Do you like it?"

You hum, smiling gently. "I love it, little sister."

Nara Vella giggles, throwing her hands up in triumph.

A knock comes at your door. Jill's uncertain voice a moment later. "Prince Leon, Your highness."

You roll your eyes, undoing the braid and grabbing a hairbrush. "Tell him to leave, Jill."

Nara Vella's eyes dart between you and the door, wringing her hands to ease her uncomfortability. "Um, perhaps I should come back another time...-"

The door burst open.

You look in the reflection of the mirror, eyeing Leon as he struts in like a King.

"We need to talk, (Y/n)."

"No. I don't believe we do."

A tense silence falls over the room. The two of you glare at each other in the reflection, both waiting for the other to say something.

Nara Vella clears her throat, lifting her yellow skirts and giving Prince Leon a clumsy curtsy. "I will take my leave now... Your highness."

She leaves, only smiling awkwardly in your direction before practically running out of the room.

Jill frowns apologetically and closes the door to give you privacy.

You huff a breath, continuing to brush the braid from your hair. "I would appreciate if you'd stop forcing my guard to obey you."

He steps closer. "We need to talk."

You hum. "So you've said."

"I want you to listen to me."

"And I wanted to be your first."

Leon's expression falls, something close to guilt overcoming his features.

"Though I suppose we can't all get what we want."

You put down the brush and stand, walking forward until you're right in his face, looking up into his bright eyes. You try not to drown in the weight of his gaze."...Do you regret it?"

His eyes flash. "More than anything."

You lick your lips, forcing the burning tears away. "Then... why did you?"

He reaches for your hand, but you're quick to yank it away. His brows furrow, breaths hollow and desperate. "Are you willing to let me explain?"

Are you?

He waits for your answer, both breathing the other's air. Your lips are close enough to share a kiss, something you'd normally kill for...

But you aren't ready to get your heart broken again.

You inhale, about to give your answer.

But then you see it. In his eyes, a flicker.

Pain. Desperation. Worry. Fear.

Love.

You'd once told him his eyes were like oceans. And it didn't help that his emotions hid poorly within those seas.

You could read him like an open book. It really wasn't hard.

Before... You suppose you didn't want to know.

You answer.

"Yes."

☆

Words would never be enough to explain how you felt.

Horrified doesn't even begin to reach it.

You'd welcomed him into your arms as he rested his head in the crook of your neck, spilling the secrets that'd plagued his mind for years.

And by the time he's finished, you still can't get the disgusted look off your face. "Leon- That's-... I'm so-... Great Gods, I wish you'd told me earlier." You gently run your fingers through his hair. "I feel like such an ass. I'm so sorry for not hearing you out, my love."

You coax his head from your neck and hold his face, thumbs caressing his cheeks. "You are a man. To me, and by definition. It wouldn't have mattered if you had bed a woman first or not. I will never see you any different." His eyes begin to water and his lip wobbles. "Your father, is a fool to see you any different."

Leon sighs, removing his hands from your hips and placing them over yours. "And... You still love me? Even though I didn't save myself for you?"

You shush him, brows furrowing. "Of course I do. That wasn't your decision." You look him deep in his eyes, placing a hand over his heart. "It wasn't your fault."

His eyes close. "It wasn't my fault."

"It wasn't your fault."

Relief.

Relief so strong his shoulders slump and he nearly falls to his knees.

You're quick to catch him, sliding your arms under his and clinging to the back of his shirt.

His arms wrap around your waist, holding you close as shuddered breaths pass from between his lips.

The truth will set you free.

☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.☆*: .｡.

Did anyone see that coming? I know for a fact y'all didn't lmaoo

This isn't the end! We have 2 more chapters, me thinks.

Will Lady Ada continue to live in the Kingdom of Duevaula? Will anyone else ever know of the Kings harshness toward Prince Leon? How would the Queen react to such news? Do you still have the chance of becoming Queen?

See you next chapter!

-Via 💕

[featherquillpen]

Hello! I just wanted to ask: is Daemorphing finished? I love that series so much!

That's a very good question!

My intention has been to write an epilogue to the series, tying up loose threads and showing the state of the world at the end. However, all my attempts to write such an epilogue have failed. I have a graveyard of abandoned epilogue drafts on my computer. It's like I have a mental block.

I suspect the source of the mental block is that Daemorphing is so epic and has been so important to my life that my brain doesn't want to like... admit it's over? And so if I can never write the epilogue, then I don't have to admit it's over.

One thing I can say for sure: all the major plot developments of the series are over. The epilogue is just about the way the world works now, and little emotional codas of people moving on with their lives in various directions. I wish I could reassure you that I will definitely get to the epilogue soon, but I'm not sure I ever will, given how badly I'm blocked about it! If it's any consolation, here is an excerpt from one of my languishing epilogue drafts:

Eva and Cassie stood at the edge of the Sky Hive Nirx Pool, once called the Hett Simplat Pool, and stared at each other. Mercurio stood in front of a device with a screen that stood on a flexible arm emerging from the dark waters of the Pool, as if to block the screen from view. Quincy flew over the Pool near the edge, seeking the presence of a Yeerk he could not sense.

Finally, Cassie said, “Aftran wouldn’t want us to fight over this. Let’s just use the interface.”

Eva exhaled slowly through her nose. “I’ve used it before. But with her, it just feels so… impersonal.”

Mercurio sighed. “Look at us, fighting to have our privacy violated. It’s honestly sad.” He stepped aside to give them access to the interface. Eva reached out and woke the screen with a touch. It cycled through multiple languages, both spoken and displayed on the screen, asking her to choose her language and sensorium.

“English, audiovisual,” Eva said.

Quincy returned to Cassie’s shoulder. “It feels like I should be able to find her myself. But I can’t.”

“Summons,” Cassie said. “Aftran 942. Visitors: Cassie and Quincy. Eva and Mercurio.”

“Summons sent.”

The Pool interface had been invented by the Yeerks of Sky Hive. They had collaborated with the Taxxons for their technical expertise. Cassie and Eva had arranged a donation of materials, as there was not yet any mechanism in place for humans to trade formally with aliens—the negotiations were ongoing.

A hologram appeared in the air before the interface. To Cassie and Eva, she looked like any other Yeerk, and anyway sight was not how Yeerks recognized each other either. But seeing her was for them a comfort.

“Cassie, Eva,” Aftran said, or rather keyed into a Pool terminal, which converted it to sound. “Thank you for coming in person.”

“Would you rather infest one of us?” Cassie said. “This feels…”

“I know I have your permission,” Aftran said, “but now that there’s a real alternative, I don’t want to do that to you anymore. I am humbled by your trust, but I’ve been inside both of your heads, and I have seen for myself that my presence in your minds is hard on you.”

Cassie wanted to protest that it wasn’t. Aftran couldn’t violate her privacy anymore, even if she tried. “But how many times,” Quincy said in her ear, “did we agree infestation was the least worst option?”

“What does the interface show you about us?” Eva said, examining the hologram.

“I can’t naturally detect electric charges through air,” Aftran said, “but the interface can. It converts the impression of your negative charges through air into a waterborne rendition. As if you were floating in the Pool with me as electric ghosts.”

“It’s kind of like that up here too,” Cassie said.

[weirdsht]

Catalyst - JJK & Reader

notes: this is purely self-indulgent so its messy asf. I don't usually write for jjk because I feel like I can't grasp their characters in writing, but I had to write for jjk after the manga ending.

tags: no gender specified for reader, yuuji & reader, platonic relationship, implied satoru/reader, self-indulgent, manga spoilers (obvi)

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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Silence lingered in the air, it was the dead of the night after all. Everyone is getting a well-deserved rest after being constantly battered, bruised, and stressed. However, one presence stands out in the communal area of the Jujutsu High Dorms. Pink hair illuminated by the soft glow of the almost muted television can be seen as you enter the living room.

“Shouldn’t the Yuji Itadori be sleeping peacefully now that no Ryomen Sukuna is pestering him and saying nonsense in his ears?”

You jokingly asked the teen as you slid beside him, seeing what movie had his eyes glued on the television at this ungodly hour. Unsurprisingly, it’s one of the instalments of the Human Earthworm movies.

“Can’t sleep.”

The pink-haired teen simply states, his eyes still glued on the television. Despite that, it doesn’t look like he's paying attention to the movie. There are simultaneously no thoughts behind those eyes, yet millions of concerns wracking his brain.

Of course, you noticed all of this. What kind of adult would you be if you don’t see the kid’s suffering especially after he just went through so much?

Not a reliable one, that’s for sure.

“You haven’t slept well since Shibuya. It’s been a week since everything started settling down yet you seem stagnant. What’s been bothering our precious Yuji? Hm?”

The student went visibly rigid at your words. He knows he wasn’t hiding his turmoil well, but at the same time, he hadn’t expected you to confront him straight on like this.

“I’m sorry… I’ll be fine soon, I promise.”

His response made you shake your head. Not necessarily disappointed in the young man, but rather disappointed at how the circumstances and some people made him believe that he should not seek help from other people.

“That’s not what I meant. You know that’s not what I meant Yuji. Now tell me what’s been plaguing your mind.”

Your voice had its usual softness in it that was reserved for talking to Satoru’s students. At the same time, it held firmness, telling Yuji that he couldn’t skirt his way out of this one. Unlike what he had been doing for the past week.

Yuji has had the time to mull over his problems by himself. Now it’ll be the time for him to mull over them with you.

“I was just thinking of the what-ifs… Like what if I chose the immediate execution instead… Maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”

To some extent, you get where the kid is coming from. Yuji had always felt like he was at fault for everything Sukuna had done during these past months because he was the one who ate that finger. Because it was his choice to continue being the vessel for the king of curses.

Yuji Itadori felt as if it was his burden to atone for Sukuna’s sins as he was the one who essentially revived him.

However, you beg to disagree.

But before you can say something, Yuji speaks up once more.

“I was so selfish… If I hadn’t been selfish then it the casualties wouldn’t be this severe… Nanamin would still be here… Choso too, as well as Gojo-sensei… Gojo-sensei… I’m so sorry [Name] because of me you lost Gojo-sensei… If only I hadn’t been so selfish…”

Ah, so that’s why he couldn’t look at you.

The poor guy is full-on sobbing now. His back is hunched over as he loudly sobbed in his knees. It’s so bad that his blabbering nonsense, or at least it’s nonsense for you. Why would he be sorry for something he couldn’t control? Why is having the desire to live considered a selfish choice now? 

Why can’t Yuuji Itadori look at you anymore? The same lively kid who used to join you whenever you pulled pranks on Satoru. The same kid you have grown to see as your own alongside Megumi, Tsumiki, and Nobara? Why is that very same kid being eaten alive by survivor’s guilt every night despite appearing to be okay daily?

“Hey, hey, that’s not it Yuji. It’s not your fault. It couldn’t possibly be your fault.”

You held onto the student’s trembling hands, making it known that he still has an adult figure in his life.

“But Gojo-sensei, you loved him so much and yet because of me—”

“It wasn’t you who did it okay? There’s also nothing wrong with wanting to live. That’s normal because you are human. As Nanami said, you're the kid and we’re the adults. We’re the ones responsible for you, not the other way around.”

Your hand gently stroke his as he slowly calms down from his breakdown. The movie in the background is now getting to the climax, but neither of you cares.

“You’re not mad at me [Name]?”

“How could I ever be?”

“There’s a lot of things to be mad at honestly…”

“And yet I can’t think of a single thing.”

Yuuji finally looks at you. His eyes are bewildered as if he can’t believe what his hearing. When his gaze finally met yours, you offered him a gentle smile. One that tells him that you won’t be leaving or getting mad at him anytime soon.

Perhaps that’s the kind of support he needed from a parental figure right now.

“Gojo-sensei said he wants everyone to surpass him. That people will one day grow up and leave him behind. But how could I? His Gojo-sensei, the sensei that was there for me. The one who shielded me from the higher-ups? How could I forget him after leading him to his doom?”

The mention of Satoru tugs a certain painful string in your heart, but you swallow it down. It isn’t about you, it’s about Yuji right now.

“Your sensei is just goofy like that. He thinks that his always being left behind despite some of us patiently waiting for him. But besides that, all he wanted was for there to be a future where the youth doesn’t have to worry. And that’s what we are working on right now aren’t we?”

Itadori nodded slowly as your words sank in on him.

“And maybe this was his happy ending too. You kids have a brighter future and he gets to rest in his own way. He's probably tired from dealing with those stuckups all these years.”

You said it jokingly, yet your lips contorted in a bittersweet smile that Yuji didn’t miss. 

Despite that, he said nothing in retaliation, for you don’t seem to be aware of what you look like right now.

Itadori knows you’re suffering too, despite taking on the role of being the strong one for all the students. He knows that you have not been sleeping well, same as him. The young man has seen you enter Satoru’s room every night. Has heard your quiet sobs whenever you do so. Your red, swollen eyes that you try to hide every morning has not gone past him.

And that’s why he feels so guilty. He felt that in his selfish pursuit, he had cost you your everything.

Yet it had also cost him nearly everything too.

So how can that be a selfish pursuit?

That’s the point you want Yuji Itadori to see and realize. The reason why you insist on moving forward despite only wanting to wallow in sadness.

If not for Yuji who is innocent in all of this, then for Satoru who wants to see the youth thrive even at the cost of his own life.

As the one who knows Yuji’s innocence and Satoru’s aspirations, you have made it your job to continue the six eyes user’s legacy.

“But [Name] have you really never thought of the what-ifs?”

Yuuji asks you once more after a few minutes of silence. This time his tone was lighter, none of those heavy, self-deprecating implications.

Okay maybe a little, but it’s better now.

“I have. But the what-ifs I’m thinking are a little different from yours. I think of things like, what if Satoru never got sealed?”

What if the whole Amanai thing went better? What if Suguru had listened to your pleas before leaving everything behind?

The student listened to you, his eyes closing ever so slightly. Probably tired from his crying session.

“I can see in your face that you’re curious as to why I never think of what if Satoru didn’t spare you. And that’s because there is no what-if. Satoru would have saved you no matter what, it’s his whole thing. Well aside from being the strongest that is.“

Your eyes also grew heavy. Both you and Yuji unknowingly fall asleep, for probably the first time in a while, as you talk.

In front of you, the movie’s credits had started rolling. However, by the time it happened both of you are already in sleep’s embrace.

[ningguangsworld]

Male Dragón Reader Bio

Name: Y/n

Last name: L/n

Height: 178 cm

Race: Adeptus Dragón

State: Alpha

Mate: Ningguang

Region: Liyue

Appearance:

Usual outfit:

Secondary outfit:

Weapons:

Swords:

Spear:

Catalyst:

Tattoos:

Back:

Left arm:

Dragon froms:

Oriental form:

Western form:

Dragon roar:

Likes: apples, chocolate, his fellow adepts, zhongli/morax, qiqi, spicy food, ningguang.

Dislike: liars, abyss monsters/followers, let them hurt his friends, to touch his tail or horns without his permission.

Visions: anemo, cyro and electro(they are all on the left side of your waist)

Normal attack: you make five cuts with your swords to quickly switch to your spear to make another five cuts to finally use your catalyst to attack from a distance generating anemo, cyro or electro damage.

Elemental Skill: you create an anemo element dragón that will attack the enemy. you can create up to four(you can also create them from cyro and electro)

Elemental Brust: you make consecutive cuts with your spear and then jump into the air, transforming into an elemental dragon to deliver a diving blow, generating elemental damage.

Things about Y/n:

He is a five star character.

He is a dps character.

In addion to Ganyu, he is the only adeptus who interacts with humans.

Of all Rex Lapiz's adeptus, is the strongest.

He has a small scar on his left eyebrow and an x-shaped scar on his right arm.

Some voice lines of Y/n.

Elemental Skill: |- 'get out of my way!'

Elemental Skill: ||- 'move!'

Elemental Skill: |||- 'too slow!'

Elemental Brust: |- 'time to end this'

Elemental Brust: ||- 'this teaches you a lesson'

Elemental Brust: |||- 'this is your end!'

Low Hp: |- 'it's just a scratch'

Low Hp: ||- 'you need more than to finish me'

Low Hp: |||- 'that's all?'

Fallen: |- 'l'm sorry... For failing you......'

Fallen: ||- 'So... This is my end....'

Fallen: |||- 'l will still... Be watching you...'

Hello: Greetings traveler, my name is Y/n L/n, adeptus of Rex Lapis, if you need anything please let me know l will do everything in my power to help.

Chat: Time: Time is a mysterius thing, don't you think? It's quite surprising how quickly it passes without us realizing it. Although It's sad how some things are forgotten, It's also reassuring how nations move forward to achieve a better future.

Chat: Fighting: You have a very interesting fighting style, traveler. If you have time, l will gladly teach you others fighting styles.

Scars: Oh my scars? Well, my scar on my arm can be seen with the naked eye, but it surprises me that after seeing the one on my eyebrow, you undoubtedly have a great view. Well, the one on my eyebrow was during my youth and the one on my arm was during a battle against a rather formidable enemy.

When it rains: I have always liked the rain, every time it rains it feels like the rain is singing a lullaby.

When thunder strikes: It looks like a storm is approaching, we should take cover before if gets worse.

When the sun is out: Oh the sun came out It's definitely perfect for a walk.

Good morning: Good morning traveler, l made some tea, do you want some?

Good afternoon: Greetings traveler you need me for something?

Good everning: It's better that we go back home because it's already getting dark.

Good night: Why don't you stay and rest at my house? After all tomorrow we have a lot of things to do.

About Y/n: Apart from being an adeptus of which l am very proud, l am also a great merchant of Liyue and l am the richest man in Teyvat so l have a great influence in Liyue.

About us: A great warrior worthy of admiration who seeks to achieve his goal, l dare to say that you remind me of xiao.

(Unlocks at friendship lv: 6): Whatever path you decide to follow, l will accept your decision and support you.

About visions (Unlocks at friendship lv: 4): The visions have always been a mystery to me. I still remember how l got mine. I was fighting a large horde of monsters and they outnumbered me, but those monsters were heading to Liyue and l was not going to allow them to destroy my home, so with all my strength. I continued fighting and from one moment to the next a great wade of wind drove away my enemies, a large part of the horde of monsters had frozed and a great lightning had struch and killied them and in front of me an anemo, cyro and electro visions had appeared, l suppose that people who have great determination can achieve a vision but it is just my opinion.

Something to share: Oh my swords? Well, both were a gift from lord Morax.

About the Traveler(Aether) (Unlocks at friendship lv4): Someone who is willing to face any challenge to find his sister is certainly worthy of respect and admiration.

About Paimon(Unlocks at friendship lv4): Paimon is... undoubtedly a mysterious creature since throughout my life l had never seen someone o something like her, although a small warning, Traveler, if l hear Paimon calling me a winged lizard again, l do not consider myself guilty of my actions.

About Zhongli(Unlocks at friendship lv4): Lord Zhongli is undoubtedly someone that l have a lot of respect for, he has helped me a lot in the past and although he no considers himself the geo archon, l will always be loyal to him.

About Xiao(Unlocks at friendship lv4): He is undoubtedly a great warrior and a great spear user, l find it admirable that despite being someone who suffered in the past he keeps going no matter what.

About Qiqi(Unlocks at friendship lv4): If l'm honest, sometimes l think that Qiqi is like my daughter, sometimes when l have time l go to the Baizhu pharmacy to her and l always bring her coconut milk since it is her favorite 'hehe' you can't imagine the big scandal that arose when Qiqi called me dad.

About Baizhu(Unlocks at friendship lv4): Without a doubt, he is a great pharmacist. He has cured most of my wounds.

About Hu tao(Unlocks at friendship lv4): If l had to describe Hu Tao l would say that she is the most energetic, lively and childish girl l have known in my life. It is pleasant to spend time with her although l find it somewhat annoying that she constantly wants to touch my horns without my permission, l still can't understand how Lord Morax ended up working for her.

About Yelan(Unlocks at friendship lv4): She is a good friend of mine and is a great informant. She always keeps me informant about what is happening in Liyue although she constantly wants to make bets with me.

About Ganyu(Unlocks at friendship lv4): Ganyu is like a little sister to me, after all l knew her when she was a little girl but unlike Cloud retainer l won't tell you stories about Ganyu when she was little but l can assure you that she was very adorable. As she works constantly for Ningguang the poor thing almost doesn't rest so l always have to remind her to get some rest. I should also tell Ningguang to give her more days off.

About Shenhe(Unlocks at friendship lv4): I still remember how l met her, l was next to Cloud retainer, the poor thing was quite scared and luckily we managed to calm her down. I find what her supposed father did quite unpleasant. I suppose that sometimes l don't understand humans, but now Shenhe is quite happy, although It's hard for her to understand human emotions, she's on the right track.

About Beidou(Unlocks at friendship lv4): Beidou? 'Haha!' To be honest, she is without a doubt my best friend we both always train together and to be honest her blows really hurt sometimes we go out drinking together although she is the one who always falls first l also usually pay her fines for the problems her crew sometimes causes.

About Ningguang(Unlocks at friendship lv4): You know something traveler? I think without Ningguang i would be very sad and i thought that after Miko's cheating i would never fall in love again but it seems i was wrong, i really love her, she had a really difficult chidhood but now she is Liyue's Tianquan and i couldn't be more proud of her, she deserves the whole world and l am ahle to give it to her.

About Keqing(Unlocks at friendship lv4): Like Yelan, Keqing is a good friend and i find it kind of funny how she and Ningguang argue, Keqing sometimes looks like a big angry cat 'hehe'

About Xianyun(Unlocks at friendship lv4): Cloud Retainer or Xianyun in this case is an old friend and is a great inventor. She helped me for me for many years and l am very grateful to her. She was even the one who designed my spear.

Y/n's Hobbies: Well if you are curious about what l do during my free time l really like draw.

Y/n's Troubles: Why should l get involved in a meanningless fight if there are innocent people in the crossfire?

Favorite food: It would definitely be spicy food.

Least favorite food: I'm not a big fan of sour food.

Birthday: Here you have my gift two necklaces made of crystal one for you and well one for your sister when you find her and l hope you both have a great and happy birthday.

Feeling About Ascension: Intro: It seems that my strength is returning little by little but remember we are not done yet.

Feeling About Ascension: Building Up: I feel like my power is growong every day just like the load inside my body. Please don't worry about something like this. It won't stop me or hurt me. After all, l'm a dragon.

Feeling About Ascension: Climax: It seems that my power has become even stronger, it seems that soon l will recover all my strength.

Feeling About Ascension: Conclusion: After so many years l never thought l would be able to regain all my power. I am very grateful to you my friend and if anyone gest involved with you, do not hesitate to let me know and l will show why they called me the blue lightning.

[acidinduceddaydreams]

One true love?

Yang Jeongin x reader

Synopsis: He fell first she fell harder type of thing except she allows herself to get in the way of love.

Warning: Abandonment, religious themes

A/n: hiii, I hope you like this🫣. Not very happy with how this turned out. Not sure what to think?

Father Jeongin was a man of quiet resolve, his eyes often lost in the flickering candlelight that danced upon the chapel walls. His hands, rough and calloused from a lifetime of devotion, gently turned the pages of the ancient text before him, the whispers of its parchment echoing through the stillness. The silver crucifix around his neck glinted in the soft glow, a symbol of his unwavering faith. His days were filled with the rhythmic chant of prayers, the gentle confessions of his parishioners, and the comforting embrace of solitude. Yet, in the quiet corners of his heart, a restlessness grew.

Sister Y/N, with her eyes as deep as the night sky and a smile that could warm the coldest of souls, had unknowingly captured his attention. Her dedication to her vows was inspiring, but it was the way she moved through the world that truly drew him in—like a dancer in silent grace, her every step a prayer. Her laughter was the sweetest hymn that filled the hallowed halls of the convent, and her kindness, a gentle balm to the weary. Yet she remained aloof, retreating into the shadows when his gaze lingered too long.

The priest wrestled with his burgeoning feelings, seeking counsel in the scriptures and the quiet whispers of the divine. He knew his love was forbidden, a flame that threatened to consume the very fabric of his existence. Still, he could not deny the warmth that spread through him when she was near, nor the ache that grew in his chest when she was gone.

One evening, as the last light of day seeped through the stained glass windows, casting a kaleidoscope of colors upon the stone floor, he decided to confront his emotions. He approached Sister Y/N with trembling hands, his voice barely above a whisper. "Sister," he began, "I must confess to you something that has been weighing heavily upon my soul."

Her eyes, usually a tranquil sea of understanding, searched his face with a hint of concern. "Father Jeongin, what is it?" she asked, her gentle tone a stark contrast to the turmoil he felt within.

He took a deep breath, his words heavy with emotion. "Sister, I... I find myself drawn to you in a way that is not of God's will. I want us to leave this place, to live a life together beyond these walls." The words hung in the air, thick with the weight of his desire.

Sister Y/N's expression froze, her hands clutching the edges of her habit as if to hold herself together. She stepped back, her eyes wide with shock. "Father," she managed to say, her voice trembling, "you know this cannot be."

Father Jeongin's heart sank, but he pressed on, his voice filled with a desperation he had never before allowed to surface. "I know it's against our vows, but I believe that God understands the depth of human emotion. Our love could be a testament to his grace, a beacon in the dark."

“We gave our lives to God. Don’t you think He would want us to be happy?” His words like daggers echo within her.

“That’s not the vows we took and you know it. As soon as we leave religious life that’s a mask come off and you’ll see me. The real me and from that point on you won’t be able to run back.”

“I’d never run from you.” And maybe for the first time she believed it.

Sister Y/N closed her eyes, her face a mask of inner conflict. When she opened them again, they shone with unshed tears. "Father," she said softly, "you are a good man, and I cherish your friendship. But our paths are set by divine will, not by the whims of our hearts. We are devoted to serving others, not to ourselves."

Ignoring her words, driven by a force greater than his fear of divine retribution, Father Jeongin leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was tentative at first, seeking permission, but when she didn't pull away, it grew bolder, filled with the passion he had long suppressed. Sister Y/N's eyes fluttered shut, and for a moment, she yielded to the warmth of his touch, her body responding to a feeling she had never allowed herself to experience.

Her heart raced as his arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer. The scent of incense and candle wax mingled with the faint floral scent of her soap, creating a heady aroma that seemed to intoxicate him further. The world around them faded into the background, leaving only the beating of their hearts and the gentle sound of their breaths mingling in the quiet sanctity of the chapel.

As the kiss deepened, Sister Y/N felt the walls of her resolve begin to crumble. The warmth of his embrace was unlike anything she had ever felt before, and the tenderness in his touch seemed to reach into the very core of her being. For a fleeting moment, she allowed herself to consider the possibility of a life beyond the confines of the convent, a life where she could be loved and love in return.

When they finally parted, she looked up at him, her eyes swimming with conflicted emotions. "Father," she murmured, "I... I need time to pray on this." Her voice was soft, almost inaudible, but the tremor in it spoke volumes.

Father Jeongin nodded, understanding the gravity of her words. He released her gently, his hands lingering on her arms for a moment longer than necessary. "I will await your decision," he said, hope and longing in his eyes. "But know that I will be here for you, regardless of what you choose."

Days turned into weeks, and the tension grew palpable between them. Sister Y/N found solace in her prayers, seeking guidance from the very deity that had seemingly led her to this impossible crossroads. Her dreams were filled with the warmth of Father Jeongin's embrace, yet her waking moments were haunted by the fear of eternal damnation. Her vows were not merely words spoken in haste; they were the very essence of her identity, the foundation upon which she had built her life.

One evening, as the moon cast a silvery glow through the chapel windows, she found her resolve crumbling. The longing in Father Jeongin's eyes mirrored her own, and she knew she could no longer deny the truth of her heart. With trembling hands, she penned a note, her heart aching with every stroke of the quill. "Father," it read, "I have wrestled with my soul, and though it brings me great pain, I must admit that I feel the same. Let us leave together, and may God forgive us for choosing the path of love."

The following dawn, they met in the deserted garden, their hearts pounding in unison like the wings of a single dove. The dew-kissed petals of the roses seemed to whisper their secrets to the wind as they held each other tightly, the weight of their decision a tangible presence between them. Sister Y/N had packed a small bag with her few possessions, her habit folded neatly inside—a symbol of the life she was leaving behind.

Father Jeongin's eyes searched hers, seeking reassurance in the depths of her soul. He gently brushed a strand of hair from her face, his thumb lingering on her cheek. "Are you certain this is what you want?" he asked, his voice a soft caress in the early morning air.

Sister Y/N nodded, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "I am," she whispered. "Our hearts may lead us astray, but they also guide us to truths we dare not ignore."

With a shared nod, they slipped away from the convent, the cobblestone path echoing with the hollowness of their footsteps. The outside world was a whirlwind of color and sound, so starkly different from the muted tones of their cloistered existence. They found refuge in a small cottage on the outskirts of town, a place where they could live out their days in peace, free from the judgment of their former lives.

The months that followed were a whirlwind of emotion. They reveled in the simplicity of their shared existence—cooking meals, tending to the garden, and exploring the depths of their love. Yet, the shadows of their past clung to them, a silent reminder of the vows they had left behind. Sister Y/N, now just Y/N, often found herself lost in thought, her eyes drifting to the horizon as if searching for the comfort of the familiar steeples that had once been her home.

One morning, Father Jeongin awoke to an empty bed, the sheets still warm from her touch. Panic surged through him as he called her name, his voice echoing through the cottage. But she was gone, leaving only a single page on the nightstand, bathed in the soft light of dawn. The note, her handwriting as delicate as a spider's web, brought him to his knees.

"Father," it began, the word now a stark reminder of the life she had left behind. "I cannot bear the weight of our love any longer. I have prayed, and I have wept, but the answer is clear. I must return to the convent. Forgive me for the pain I have caused you, and for the vows I could not keep." The paper trembled in his hand, the ink blurring as his eyes filled with tears.

He read the note over and over, willing the words to change, but they remained steadfast, as final as the sunrise that painted the room in shades of gold. His heart felt as if it had been ripped from his chest, leaving a hollow ache that no prayer could fill. She was gone, and with her, the brief illusion of a life together.