#and honestly i dont think its gonna be my forever home. i think this is just a much-needed adventure and change of pace
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Okay crew. I have three hours to get out of my apartment and get going to my parents' house. I don't have to pack my mattress or get rid of my furniture anymore because my strong af girlfriend helped me take care of it. I just have to fit what I can into my van (not a lot) and abandon the rest. Then drive four hours. Wish me luck. I'll need it.
#when i wrote this in my head it konda sounds like a general inspiring his troops#except im both the general and the troops#oh god i have three hours to condense my life into my minivan#i took 70mg of vyvanse and i feel great. i think im gonna take 30 mg more just because i have to get rid of it#see i stole the 30mg from my brother and im about to go see him. i dont want him searching my shit and finding his own meds#its okay he only takes these meds while hes in school. and i stole them over winter break#please only take medicine that is your own. dont fuck with prescriptions that belong to other people. do as i say not as i do#holy shit im not okay#i went to my fav local coffee shop today for the last time and started tearing up while i was there#im gonna miss this place#im moving across the country to live with my sibling#and honestly i dont think its gonna be my forever home. i think this is just a much-needed adventure and change of pace#i can see myself living in this city for years and years. but im still leaving#i know i need to leave. i need to live with someone. be with family. i need to get out of my shit job. i need a new start#so itll be worth it. but i think ill probably come back here eventually. idk. but for now im leaving. i need to go#i need to go in three fucking hours
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college roommate ; giselle
A/N: long awaited fic after about seven months :( hope u remember me haha
CW: red flag giselle, bondage, usage of the word slut 😭, slight choking, face riding, edging, friends with benefits, somewhat proofread, lmk if I forgot anything!
you were starting college in august & they let you start moving into your dorm a month early. with all the moving boxes going around through the dorm halls everyones face was kind of blurred out.
though your roommate in particular,, she looked straight up hot and straight from Japan. you only had to share a room with one other person (thankfully) and it was her. was it a friend crush? or crush?
you had to wait a month to actually talk to her but honestly did you forget about her?? no.
you waited a month for you to actually talk to her and when you finally did she was a total bitch.
"hey do you need help with unpacking?"
"no fuck off?.." as she would shove your shoulder and walk straight out of your shared room.
she would rarely talk to you but I mean it still happens. like if you were in the bathroom for too long, or if you were gone for too long.
she was very possessive over you and you never got why? whenever she saw you with someone else she would start asking a whole bunch of questions.
what was worse is that your dorm wasn't even that big. your beds were right next to each other almost converting into one bed thats how close they were.
so annoying. she would have hookups with girls almost every weekend leaving you no choice but to go out every single friday, saturday, and sunday. what did you spend your time doing?
spending your nights with ning yizhuo or better as ningning.
she was your situationship, or just talking and you wished it would be more but its really not.
it was your time to walk home but ning decided to walk with you.
"so how do you like your new roommate?" ning asked.
"I mean shes okay but it feels like there's tension you know?" you said while grabbing nings hand to hold.
she smiled at you as you guys skipped all the way to your dorm.
meanwhile, aeri uchinaga was taking out the bedsheets from her last hookup session which was not even twenty minutes ago..
messy hair, all sweaty, no shorts on, only an oversized t-shirt and underwear.
you unlocked the door with your key walking up to your bedroom with ning thinking you could go lay in bed with her i dont know,, or maybe just sleep.
you held her hand running to the room just to see a half naked giselle on her bed taking pictures with her phone, probably sending that to her hookups. ugh, you hate her so much.
"ning wait outside the room for a minute please?"
"oh no problem! just tell me when to come back in." she sat on the ground outside of the room trying to listen what the hell is about to happen in there.
"bro did you even change the sheets?!"
"what the fuck you knew I was coming home around this time why didnt you have shorts on?"
"shit aeri, i hate you youre such a slut." you kept throwing words and screaming at her like there was no tomorrow until ning knocked on the door again.
"hey I think I should go?" you pulled her inside to introduce her to giselle who was in shorts, quiet, and annoyed.
"aeri, this is ningning, ning this is giselle my roommate"
"whatever, are you guys a thing?" aeri questioned while motioning for you both to sit down.
here we go again, shes gonna interrogate her.
"uhm yeah? you could say so" ning responded.
"well did little y/n tell you that were dating and that were talking? so I don't know how you are"
what. the. fuck. is all can go through your head right now.
ning looked at you in shocked with no words and just left. I just know she was broken.
the worse part is all of this weren't even true? you and aeri barely talk and now you just wanna be a bitch to her forever.
"what the fuck is wrong with you? you're such a fucking slut you even wanted me to be dragged into your girl fantasy."
aeri was tired and exhausted but there was so much rage in her eyes. how many times was y/n gonna call her a slut?
suddenly you were being pushed onto the bed, leaving you on your back. both hands were being tied and lifted up to reach the headboard.
"whos the slut now? youre practically weak at this point."
she was trying so hard to get your shorts off but you would kick your legs trying to stop her yet her grip was too strong for you to even move your legs anymore. "why are you doing this to me?" you said with such attitude.
"trying to put you in your place because your such a brat?" she said while sliding your underwear off. she spread both of your legs one to the left, and then to the right.
she walked around the room scolding you, and saying how much of a bad girl you were when you did nothing. or you thought you didnt?
you never really realized how much her words were turning you on. all you could feel were the cold air reaching your core. the ac was on making you especially chilly.
wet slick was running down your thighs and of course you noticed. you felt so bothered you just wanted to be touched already. you weren't the type to always touch yourself, you were more inexperienced. but this time, you felt extra needy you just needed some relief.
"aeri this isn't funny anymoree" you whined.
she crawled up to your core and started kissing your inner thighs making you start to start to arch your back and move uncontrollably. she barely even started.
she moved her finger up and down your body, teasing you in every way. you felt so helpless and you couldn't resist her touch anymore. you needed her,, right now. she started squeezing your chest swirling each bud with her tongue and flicking the other with her slender fingers.
she continued to do the same motion but moved her head up to your neck leaving marks and wet kisses along the crook of your neck.
"youre enjoying this way too much, are you sure im still the slut hm?"
she pressed her knee up to your soaked core, adding pressure to your sensitive spot.
"answer."
you suppressed your moans so in order for you to hide it, you could not answer nor say a word.
one hard slap to your core was made leaving an echo in your shared room.
"im sorry!" you whined & your brain was foggy so of course you didn't know what to say except sorry.
your slick was covered on the bed,, you were so messy at this point.
two slaps.
"answer,, whos the slut now?"
"me oh my gosh aeri .. fuck! just do something, anything! please I just need to come so bad."
she started eating you out, cleaning the mess all over your thighs. she switched between small licks and full on devouring you.
later, she found your clit teasing that spot over and over again leaving you twitching. seeing how the way you move she knew that you were the most sensitive down right there. she was def gonna tease you with that later.
"mmh! fuck" you would let out endless curses.
you gripped onto the pillow above you knowing that you cant take this much pleasure. it was all to much yet you were eager to let go.
"if youre close, hold it. im not letting you come yet."
she entered two fingers in, not caring if you weren't fully adjusted yet. all the pain later then converted into pleasure. she gripped your neck lightly but not choking you, more like just holding it.
"s-shit im gonna come,, aeri dont stop please!" you screamed yet she pulled her two fingers away and licked it,, not letting you reach your high.
"on top of my face."
"excuse me? is this what people really do?"
"put your cunt on my face is that a problem? i'll break ningnings heart telling her how her talking stage is fucking with her roommate now and that your never coming back to her."
you completely forgot about ning. your brain was messed up at the moment. like a spell under giselle. she later then united your hands
you carefully put your cunt onto her as she pulled you down more, allowing her to get more access to you. she swirled her tongue around your clit like how she did with your chest and tried to enter a finger into you.
"f-fuck keep hitting that area!"
"right there? hm?" as she started to play with the exact spot and you swear you were about to let go.
"im g-gonna come! aeri please!" you let go and you collapsed back onto the bed exhausted and still trying to catch your breath. she just giggled and you guys agreed to be friends with benefits.
"call me if you need someone to fuck, dont call your hookups anymore im done with that."
she laughed and shook it off,, but on the other hand you still went out with ning.
aeri wasnt too fond of it but whenever giselle was around ning and you she would pay close attention to you both making sure things wouldn't go to far.
college roommate ; giselle.
#kpop smut#aespa smut#aespa giselle smut#giselle smut#giselle aespa#aeri uchinaga#wlw smut#fem reader#fypシ#aeri x reader#giselle x reader#aespa x reader#kaylas yaps<3#sorry for the long wait#giselle#aespa
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NEW JERSEY RED
summary: reader finds herself falling for the new jersey devil’s center even if her heart is supposed to lie with the new york rangers.
pairings: jack hughes x fem!reader
warnings: none..? just yn getting sappy as hell bc she fell for jack!! use of ‘daddy’ but not in a sexual way.
lowercase intended.
BASED ON “tennessee orange” by megan moroney
living in new jersey wasn’t much of a difference than living in new york, at least, not to you. at times it just felt less chaotic, in a way that made you miss the chaotic streets of nyc. but moving to new jersey to become a media manager for the new jersey devils was a pro and a con.
growing up in new york city, meant you and your family were very big rangers fans. your father had seasonal tickets, every year. you went to every game with him that you could.
when your family heard you now worked for the new jersey devils, it felt like hell broke loose. working for the.. enemy? now thats foul play, you just betrayed your home team! but you didn’t regret it.
see, there was this boy. specifically number 86, a center for the new jersey devils. jack hughes. he was cute, scratch that— he was hot. you, like many other girls, fell right at his feet. of course you didn’t out right do so or show that.
but he as well— fell hard for you, maybe even harder.
not only did you work for the ‘enemy’ but now you were fraternizing with one?
you had the day off, sitting at your now shared apartment with your current boyfriend of nine months. you didn’t tell your family about him, he didn’t tell his about you. the media had no idea that the jack hughes had a girlfriend either.
your thumb hovers over the call button. the stool under you creaked as you shifted your weight. you clicked the bright green button.
it rang until it didn’t, “hello?” the sound of your mother’s voice filled the room.
“hi mama.” you spoke gently. “ive got some news for you” you told.
“finally! i havent heard from you in so long sweet girl, please tell me everything!” you could hear her smile from the other end of the phone.
you smile. “just don’t tell daddy, okay? he’ll blow a fuse.” you chuckle.
your fingers tap against the counter as you anxiously listen to her laugh. “okay, sweetie. are you okay?”
“dont worry— im doing okay. listen— i know you raised me to know right from wrong, it aint what you think, promise.” you start.
“honey, you’re kind of scaring me.” your mother nervously chuckles.
“listen, okay? i um— i never thought i’d honestly see this day, seeing how scared i was with my past relationships—“ you cut yourself off with a nervous laugh.
“i met somebody.” you told. you heard a quiet gasp on her end.
“really? honey thats amazing! tell me about him— about your relationship.”
you let out a breath. “hes got blue eyes, the prettiest eyes ive ever seen, mama. hes so good to me too, he always holds the door open, he never makes me cry. there has never been a moment where he’s made me upset.”
“oh honey..” she trailed off, sounding happy.
“im not done, mama. last weekend he took me to michigan, where his family lives. we watched a football game, a college one. his brothers used to go there. he let me wear his cap that has been on his dash forever— mama i swear i fell even more for him under those stadium lights. hes perfect.”
“but..” you trailed off.
“but? there’s a but? honey… whats wrong?” your mother sounded concerned.
“mama, you cannot tell daddy— he’s gonna think its a sin. but mama hes a player on the new jersey devils— but forgive me, i really like him, mom. hell, im learning how to golf for him mama. hes perfect, hes got a smile, mama his smile is killer. ive never seen one like it.”
“honey… you’re dad is right here, listening.” you clamped your mouth shut. just your luck.
“does he make you happy?” you heard your father ask.
“yes he does, daddy. i know hes a devil but god you would love him! i know he aint where we are from, but he feels like home. hes got me doing things ive never done. he makes my stomach burst into butterflies, he makes me blush, he makes me feel loved.” you explained.
“and you know i still want the rangers to win, daddy” you told.
you heard him chuckle. “as long as he makes you happy, sweetheart.”
you grin. you stay on the call for what felt like hours, talking about jack. when you finally end it, you feel arms wrap around your shoulders and your chest. a kiss is pressed to your temple.
“i hope you know how much i love you” jack mumbled, trailing small kisses from your forehead to your cheek and your jaw.
“and just so you know, you look better in new jersey red than new york blue.”
i #hope this wasnt shit LMAO first time posting on tumblr 😻🤘
#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes#new york#new jersey#hockey#x reader#new jersey devils#new york rangers#song
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HELLOOO FINALLY GOT TO SEND AN ASK!!!
first of allllll…. i think the time momjo sending the child guardian paper (?) that satoru typed out of anger is a hint…. and then satoru telling yn that sachiro called akemi mama… this honestly hurts alot more, imahine carrying your baby for 9 months, taking care of baby sachiro for 3 years alone, all the sleepless nights… and sachiro just ugh u dumbass small brain toddler (literally). anyways, satoru looking at akemi during suguru and shoko’s wedding, his hand rubbing akemi’s stomach at the cabin when she was in pain. honestly this part was akemi faking her pain or…? cuz there was a line that said after satoru asked if she wanted to go home her face didnt show anymore pain ? lololll idk. i dislike (hate) gojokemi but i think theyre gonna be endgame with all these theories coming up oh godddd. and the way yn threw the necklace into the lake, satoru went to search for it but did he manage to find it ? no. but during sn yn (well, suguru) found gojos wedding band. so in sy, yn threw away satoru’s “heart”, and it was never found again, thats a hint (?) bruhhh i hate thissss (i love this so much actually it made me feel so much i love u saint) i also recall the first time satoru and akemi first did it together he said smthg like i could learn to love u ? if i remember correctly. and the morning at the cabin after yn and gojo did it, yn was crying bcs they had a heartfelt talk ? and u mentioned they both felt guilty. the guilt is…. yeah.
BUT ALSO, satoru once said that yn has always been the one, sera when she saw gojo after forever told sukuna that he looks different when hes being with akemi, like hes not being himself? but that was when they first got together so idk about now. him not calling gojokemi exclusive. oh how they were happy and loving when yn got pregnant 🥹 but well it lasted until… yeah. also u said something about gojo gonna be on his knees again, since yn is now depressed and suicidal, i think for her heart disease shes gonna sign a DNR, then satoru on his knees maybe begging the doctors idk gawd idk someone mentioned dnr and i just… 🙂 its not that she wanna leave sachiro either, but i think shes telling herself everything will be better if she dies since sachiro, still very young, doesnt even really remember yn (just why sachiro) and called akemi mama… also why the hell didnt gojo use protection when fucking akemi oh gawd pls hate u satoru if she gets preggo.
anyways, i cant wait for gen to be back. i love u gen and ian.
oooh i also remember that you said there was a scene that inspired the birth of sn/sy, was it in chapter 11 ? or we’re not there yet…
honestly why dont yn just join shoko and suguru and be in a happy poly relationship ever looollll just kidding. my heart hurts, im still all in for gojoyn endgame but it doesnt seem realistic. ive been cursing gojo and akemi ever since the chapter came out loolll gotta give myself credit for being able to do my exams while still thinking bout this. 💀
omg there’s a lot to unfold here idk where to start 😭 but i just wanna say, it’s amazing how you’re so thorough in remembering those details in sn/sy bcos i honesty don’t have enough attention span to do that !!! sdjsj now while i can’t answer everything you mentioned, i can say a few things:
- akemi isn’t faking her pain, she’s truly struggling from it
- gojo doesn’t want kids outside of marriage (or should i say if not with yn), so he’s definitely careful with it.
- yes, it is indeed sy11 that birthed the sequel :’) i had that scene in mind before sn was even finished
#🖤: letters to saint#series: sincerely yours#thank you thank youuu for dropping by and sharing ur thoughts <33
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yap about ur headcanons about the socs pls!!
heheeh okay some misc things about the soc guys that have popped into my head throughout the week (im sorry this is so long)
EDIT: ok ive put it all under the cut bc it got so long but i do yap a little bit about each soc guy so please read hehe :)
Chet
chet and his family moved from california when he was in 3rd grade. his first friend in town was one sodapop curtis on his little league baseball team
his dad is a cop and wants to advance up the ranks, and his mom wants to make sure they keep up their good social standing, so chet was not friends with soda for long
you know those boys in like 5th grade that crack all the dumb jokes, hit all the door frames, and tease every girl "because he likes her"? thats chet and trip
this is inspired by @/sky4cherry iirc but chet does Nawt get attention at home man. his dad is always busy with work and a little mean (yknow how dads are in the 60s) and his mom is always working on the next social function or trying to appease his dad. anyways he is just always at another soc guy's house just to have someone Talk to him
i think he picks up drinking and smoking, and fighting, for a similar reason to bob: he just wants his parents to fucking notice he's doing something wrong. but theyre high enough now in the social and job spaces that they can just wipe any misdemeanors under the rug
i cant decide if chet is an only child, or if he has like 2 siblings that are way older than him. idk
Trip
terrance dipp is The Exasperated older brother ever. bro did Nawt want a little brother sorry melvin.
anyways unfortunately i do think trip is very much a guy's guy. that boy is Not a good boyfriend to marcia unfortunately :(((((( at least by the time we get to their sophomore year/the show
him and chet can not be sat together in class. they will never shut up or stop hitting each other.
chet broke his arm one time in like 6th grade. trip threatens to break it again at least once a month
ive said this before but ill say it again: trip and melvin are just soc steve and ponyboy. trip is so tired of his kid brother being in all his sports and trying to tag along to everything
that being said, he was looking out for melvin so much during the rumble. he knew their mom would kill him if he brought his brother home all beat up, but also he really really didn't want him to get too hurt.
he Always goes to marcia to patch him up after hes been in a fight. (after the rumble though, him and marcia are on the rocks, and hes got melvin to worry about. so he just sneaks melvin home and tries to clean him up before their mom sees. its actually a sweet bonding moment between them i think)
trip lovesssss verbally poking fun at any greaser in school, especially two-bit. after he realizes two-bit likes marcia, his mean jokes become a lot more threatening
(i do love trip i promise i just also think hes kinda a mean guy. you know the kind of rowdy douche bags in high school im talking about. im so sorry ksco and sean jones i promise i love trip kdjfkdjf)
Brill
clark brillstein i'll be so incredibly honest i dont have much in my brain for him :((( i gotta sit and think more
i do think he has one of the better home lives out of the bunch, and hes got his lovely perfect girlfriend, and hes good at sports, and honestly i think he just. gets tired of everyone thinking hes got it so perfect all of the time. i think maybe thats why he likes all the fighting so much
while he is relatively happy with his life rn, hes tired of being doted on like hes perfect. and also sometimes he sees everyone else's lives being so shitty, he feels likes hes got to pick fights to justify him feeling bad about his lot.
Paul
ohhh im gonna have to hold myself back from talking about him forever. he will get his own post at some point aDKFJDKFJK
anyways. paul holden. the messiest and most scared gay kid in the town of tulsa
i think he and bob literally grew up together. like their parents are Old old friends, so paul and bob have always basically been brothers despite a 2/3 ish year age difference (i dont feel like doing the exact math). i think bev's parents are also in this old friend group, so pauls known her forever too
anyways. he was probably the bob of his friend group in his class, which is why nobody really really protested darry being in their group. but i also think that when he was with darry, paul didnt really care about the whole social friend group of things too much.
contrary to popular belief i dont think paul is the friend-group-leader type. idk if that makes sense and i can yap about it more but.
anyways post-darry breakup paul is a fucking mess. hes sad and angry and those fights that darry was always trying to stop feel so damn good. maybe bob and his buddies are on to something, and bob's dad always has a full liquor cabinet
Bob
obviously we know the most about bob and his home life and inner psyche and reasons for fighting and honestly all of it really resonates in my brain. like yea im keeping all of that
bro has charisma to the max. like he has always been the ringleader of the friend group, even in like 4th grade when all the boys started becoming best buddies
he used to be such a mommas boy. before her praise just became so meaningless.
oh ive just had a revelation. he is an angrier and more resigned buddy aldridge from rotpl. his dad is pulling the strings to make sure his precious son is climbing all the right ladders.
the difference here tho is bob realized this earlier, and that started his spiral into fights and drinking and causing problems. he wanted to see what would finally make his dad stop covering and fixing everything for him. he never found that limit
he knows cherry cant stand the drinking, and i do think he does feel bad about ignoring her feelings about it. but his urge to push back against everything and spit in the face of anyone who tries to tell him how he should be just overpowers. and god everything is more fun when hes boozed up
#oh this got so long. but i hope you like :D#please please please lmk what yall think hehehe#i love yapping these are so fun to think about#the outsiders musical#the outsiders#outsiders musical#the outsiders broadway#bob sheldon#bob the outsiders#paul holden#paul the outsiders#chet baker#chet the outsiders#trip the outsiders#brill the outsiders#parry#paul x darry
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What are your opinions on each of the songs? (you can answer with as much or as little detail as you'd like)
Big shocker that the songs from the 2 good episodes are in S and the only one that isn’t is still B tier/sar
The first 2 songs in S made me either tear up/shake violently or cry, and therefore they deserve to be up there IMO. Out for love is also just genuinely catchy and had actual build up to it. Also God “Ready for This” just. OOUGGGHHH IT SCRATCHES MY BRAIN SO GOOD LIKE A WARRIOR CATS MAP. I like it a lot. You cant have multiple characters sing about working together and expect me to NOT cry.
“Stayed Gone” isn’t one I listen to often but it’s so peppy and fast and full of hatred I can’t help but enjoy it. Also everytime the song starts my brain does this
I dont know anything about Welcome Home
I have. Issues. With “Loser, Baby” but aside from those the song holds a lot more weight to it than I usually give it credit for. And for as cheesy as the start if it is, the line before of Angel talking about self destructing resonates with me a lot. Also Husk lays down in a puddle of vomit and no one talks about that ever.
I think the first song in B is “Happy Day in Hell” and I’m adding it there 1. Because it is the first song 2. It gets a reprise thing 3. Charlie almost gets hit by a truck. Other than that it’s not really my favourite but I respect the impact it has.
“Hell is Forever” just fucks. End of story. Alex Brightman killed it.
“Respectless” is good I love Velvette’s VA, but the sudden start of the song and the ending are so out of left field the first time me and my friends watched this show we had to pause cause we lost our fucking minds. Could’ve been better but I’d listen to it again, yeah.
“Hell’s Greatest Dad” is silly and funny and maybe I’m biased as a violin player and jazz enjoyer but a lot of the instrumental tickles my brain so nicely. I will say though it confuses me so much because why does Alastor care about being seen as a father figure?? My mom said it could just be him wanting to show up Lucifer and that’s it but I dunno.
“More than Anything (Reprise)” AKA “Charlie and Veggie Kiss Scene - Hazbin Hotel”
This song sounds like it’s straight out of Barbie & Th Diamond Castle and I’m honestly pissed the girls in the movie didn’t kiss so I’m coping with this. ALSO THE FACT ITS A REPRISED SONG ABOUT LOVE MAKES ME A BIT CRAZY. I never noticed this was the same song Lucifer sang to Charlie SOMEHOW but that’s actually really cute.
“It Starts With Sorry” Has a big part in Sir Pentious’s character growth and just his character in general. I’ve been working on this in my Pentious rant but I never see people mention how much this song probably meant to him. Yeah it’s super corny, but he was fully expecting to be killed and had just been told to kill himself. This was definitely huge for him and I’m not gonna be convinced otherwise.
“You Didn’t Know” is really good but Lute’s part is by far the best and I pray to GOD she gets her own song in S2 her voice actor can SING. GODDAMN! I am very interested in Lute’s character development and I love seeing what people do with close-minded characters like that and hopefully Vivzie doesn’t condemn her to Vivziepop Woman Syndrome. If she isn’t important in S2 I’m going to be pissed but I dunno maybe S3 if we get one.
“More Than Anything” Wish my dad was like this! This song is incredibly sweet and I appreciate it a lot. Honestly might go way higher on the list if I keep thinking about it.
“Whatever It Takes” Sorry you will never be Imagine Dragons. Vaggie doesn’t sound anything like herself cause her VA is making her voice so much more gruff for her character, which is fine! I like her voice (the voice direction is not very good but I digress) it’s just her voice is so high in this I can’t even tell it’s Vaggie.
“Welcome to Heaven” is boring, but we got a Molly cameo!
“Poison”. Read this and this and this. -10/10. I’d rather make out violently with Elon Musk.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin critical#hazbin hotel criticism#hazbin hotel critical#raimble#hazbin hotel song#hazbin songs#hazbin spoilers#hazbin hotel spoilers
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Opinions on jacksfilms v sssniperwolf?
Penny for ur thoughts plz 🪙 (<- pretend that is a penny shhhhh)
this ask is an equivalent to asking for my hand in marriage just btw.
so in case anyone doesnt know anything abt this old ass drama (i dont know as much as i could either, this is a retelling from the bits and pieces i remember):
so basically sssniperwolf used to be this gaming youtuber but she eventually turned into a half baked "reaction" channel where she just watches tiktoks, makes low effort surface level commentary, and then doesnt credit the creator of said tiktoks. jacksfilms is a comedy youtuber who does a bunch of stuff (sketches, streaming, something called YIAY where he gives ppl prompts / questions to answer n reads em out(with credit!(also hes been doing stuff with ai recently but mostly to show how mid it is which like. eh idk how i feel abt it but its not a dealbreaker))) and he at one point in 2023 called out sniper for her content stealking and lazy content.
he started doing this thing where he reacted to her videos the way she reacts to the videos she steals? i think? and then he gives credit to the creators that sniper reacts to i hope ur following. sniper eventually got mad and was like "uhhhmmm ur stealing from me....." which is rly funny considering she steals from SO many ppl. they had lowkey beef for a while (and obv jack was in the right the entire time) and on uhhhhhh lemme look this up hold on. october 13th of last year sniper posted an instagram story poll like "jacksfilms is close to this place im shooting at should i go see him" i guess to like? talk things out?
(src)
and then some amnt of time later while jack was playing jackbox on stream with his editors and stuff (dubbed the council) sniper showed up at his house, stood outside, and posted a video OF HIS HOME ON HER STORY. ON HER INSTAGRAM WITH OVER 5 MILLION FOLLOWERS. also to add even more context that i found out from youtube comments, sniper has been arrested for armed robbery before, so! some council member alerted jack and erin (jack's wife) was like "erm im gonna go outside" and everyone was like NO DONT OMG. eventually she deleted the story but by that point it was like wayyyy too late. and photos of his house were alr on twitter and stuff. the most ridiculous part is that when jack was rightfully like WHAG GHE HELL she was like this guy is creepy and hes been harassing me! i just wanna talk!!!
jacksfilms made a video being like heyyyyy youtube can u do smthn abt this???? youtube, of course, did nothing in response. i honestly dont know how it ended but snipers still doing her thing and so is jack so ultimately nothing substantial came of it, i guess. i wasnt on stream when it happened but i was GLUED to twitter as it was unfolding since ive been a big jacksfilms fan since i was 12ish. crazy times
WAIT EDIT I FORGOT TO ADD MY OPINION OOPS LOL: FUCK SNIPERWOLF
also fun fact! ive had a couple convos with a council member (marshaldoesstuff u will always be famous) and i was in his discord FOREVER ago. like 2018 forever ago. got groomed in that server it was kinda goofy (NOT marshal's fault - nor the mods of said server, im still friends with a few of those mods and they were always so protective of me and were there to put a stop to everything, i love them dearly.) so yeah im kinda etched into jacksfilms lore in a way that VERY few remember. which is the case for a few different fandoms tbh.
second fun fact: jack and erin r house md fans (erin has a crush on house and jack has a crush on cuddy which is sooo based of them)
thank u for asking and thank u for reading :3 i luv jacksfilms
#desire mona#SUCH a long post but oh my god u know this is my jam#internet lore!#all links that i can think to add r there btw those provide more info and context#mona internet factoids
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i cant fucking take living like this anymore
i cant do it i have to end it soon theres literally nothing for me here anymore. its too much to do. im never gonna fucking have another close in real life relationship.
i want to just like order some food at work so im not more miserable being here but i dont have the strength or stomach to eat something. ill eventually try maybe. i dont know. the drugs make me not eat like a fucking sick dog already and everything rn just says i dont deserve it
i have no motive or energy to do anything but work or somethimes playing a game but even that were usually unable bc were too tired.
whats the fucking issue with me!!!! i just dont give a shit anymore i dont want to do anything nothing makes me happy everythinf eventually juat makes me feel scared and sick and weird. every time i try to make fun or have plans it goes horrible and it just feels worse so i wont anymore ill just fucking rot alone like life wants me to
nobody here can help me and if i could i couldnt afford it so who fucking cares its cheaper to kill myself and lose the body so they dont need funeral costs. theyd misgender and shave me anyway probably
im just so fucking over it all im never gonna be happy like this. i got nothing. theres no good its just working til i fucking kill myself and putting myself through fuxking agony constantly for a life that continues to just KICK AND KICK AND KICK AND KICK me when im fucking down. i cant handle anything else happening. im trying so hard to get things done and theres just fuxking nothing. i will never ever be enough and ill never feel enough.
doesnt matter what or when or the circumstance its so depressing that its not just romantic relations too im so fuckinf scared in groups i automatically feel unwelcome and hated and like i should just go off by myself because im literally so unlikeable and everything has proved it forever. like genuinely as soon as i realized there were more than 2 people i got terrified and started questioning everythinf i did and wanted to run away bc i felt like i wasnt meant to be there and it was ovipus and i was being annoying like fucking ALWAYS GOD IM SO SICK OF BEING LIKE THIS can i just shut up forever? dirk please come back to front im tired of annoying all the people who so graciously allow me to exist around them so i dont have to be in such crushing loneliness all the time i feel like such a fucking baby and everybody probably thinks im such an annoying drug addict too can i just quit it and fucking feel and then kill myself already when i realize its worse
like im never gonna be able to afford any of the shit i need to heal and i dont even wanna try bc ill get 3 appointments in and will run out of money and continue doing that and then ill die bc i cant afford anything else. like why would i do that to myself ill just suffer like this and just do my best forever til i can only rot. id rather get it fuckinf over with and just die now. this isnt a life
i go frm one box go another. rotting. i rot at home alone or i go to work alone. i dont really go out. i dont really talk to anybody. i dont really see anybody. i have 1 irl friend who talks to me and lives in town. the other i dont see her often and honestly feel so embarassed of myself around her because of how i am that i can barely convince myself to see her sometimes even if she is in town. the other person is one of my exs and he doesnt give a shit about me he just wants sex bc thats the only thing im good for. i feel like i just annoy and make everybody uncomfortable conwtantly i dont wanna do it anymore i want to shut up
i always do it i always just talk endlessly frm the second i fucking could before most kids could talk even and i just never shut up did i? my parents were always annoyed by me talking about things that brought me joy (and they never believed me for things that were upsettinf and it was just fake and i needed to be quiet about it bc theyre not taking me to the doctor. so i stopped talking about it to my family and everybody else in my life in that era did the same. the bullies. my friends who ignored me. no matter the form it was always like that i just need to learn to keep quiet and go away and not need anything ever again. i couldnt fucking learn it every time i got a red or yellow card for talking (usually trying to ask questions bc i didnt understand or couldnt see or couldnt hear in elementary school. or to make conversation bc i was friendly and had no friends and my parent didnt play with me so i was lonely. nobody ever liked me bc i was weird. i feel like such a bitter dickhead but i get so jealous when i see that people talk to others every day. especially in person. im so fucking alone i literally get so excited when people want to call with me even if it makes me really scared (and sometimes if im not comfortable enough or feeling sad i will run a away from that too because im so scared to fuckinf annoy people and say something stupid or be boring or trying too hard or just fucking being a total downer because theres nothing good ever going on for me. i got so depressed goin on bsky today and seeing everyone playing webfishing when i cant. but even so lik.e maybe im glad i djdnt join bc one of them was in a big group with new mut and then all strangers so like. its better i wasnt able to bc i would probably jusg feel worse and run away frm everyone bc i feel inadequate snd guilty for taking up space. i always feel like im bothering everyone no matter what. fuck my exhusband in general but he also made me so much more insecure than i was already. he made me feel so annoying and he broke my communication. i was alone with him and JUST him for so long. i could only communicate in nonsense phrases sometimes (literal jibberish not memes) because thats all he would respond to or wouldnt talk to me until i did. he changed my whole pattern of speech and i still almost lapse into it sometimes. it was never any kind of real conversation about anything i felt like it withered my brain. nothing ever in depth just stupid sensless bullshit and jokes (that were often insulting me and made me feel like shit) and i was doing it for fucking nothing because everything else sucked too!!!! the only time there was ever a conversation was when i was BEGGING HIM to stop sometbing or do something for the millionth time. or him defending himself or trying to force my support and trigger my ocd (i genuinely think he was trying to make it worse he never respected it ever he mever respected a single part of me) or him fighting with me on something again (usually the thing was due to him and i just was not being forgiving and quiet and turning off my emotions enough about it. learned numb happiness)
my existence is like a plague and theres nothing here for me. theres even less left of me after he got done with me. he stripped my personality all the way down and forcef me to mirror him. everythinf will always be rotted and ill feel like a horrid shell of a person any time im near anyone. the only option is being alone. maybe this time i will learn and just fuxking stop all of this so we can stop being a curse on everybody. even if i could afford mental help theres nobody that can help me here so its all a waste. i feel like everybody will just hurt me again. doesnt even have to be a partner i feel like every single person is gnna realize sooner or later that im not worth it or they dont like me (ir even hate me) and that im just too fucking annoying to be around
i dont want to be annoying anymore. i wish it was like right after he went to prison again when i didnt have anything and was an empty shell and had nothing to say or talk about that wasnt venting. i wish i never got back some of my "sparkle" or whatever the fuck people call it. mines not a sparkle. its a noxious cloud of toxic annoyance fumes and everybody just has to keep their masks up til i vacate the area. why would i ever fucking want this to come back. i need to shut the fuck up i really do. just take our personality and every crumb of joy again im so sick of it. make it so i dont have any of those thoughts to even post. thus sparing everyone from having to be like "UGH this motherfucker AGAIN. does he ever shut the fuck up? is he ever quiet? can he just log off already? this guy definitely has no life. why does he always have to butt into everything"
that way i can just post like. the shortest most boring updates ever like "back to work! only 3 days this week for the 39 hours. more time off is always good" and then shut up for days and then "got paid nice. going to the bank and then grabbing a few groceries" like thats do much better. nobody needs to fucking know man its sad and depressing and all the same OR you are the most obnoxious prick on any site youre ever and you ruin everybodys day when theyre forced to see you in their notifs or on their timeline
ive probably already muted me bc it didnt even take a week for me to just talk way too muxh when none of of it is important and nobody wants to hear it
even if im not allowed to talk frm my body. its already annoying enough in text and then psyically i just stutter and trip over myself or cant think or forget what i was saying
i wanna delete everything i have and crawl into the earth. i hate being alive. the one time i find something that makes me happy even the littlest bit i cant do it anymore. disallowed by the universe and painfully reminded of the fact im supposed to alone and theres actually nothing for me. it doesnt get better for me it only gets worse. and it makes me feel stupid for believing it could even though thats few and far between. theres nothing left for me i need to just get whatever drugs i decide on and have one last hoorah and take enough to kill me. which hopefully wont even be that hard because im mixing downers and uppers constantly so like its only a matter of time right. my nose hurts and i feel like crying and my body is killing me again so im taking both things again. one for pain. one for maybe like. a little bit of energy but mainly so i dont feel so absolute shit. i just want it all to stop i dont wanna get better anymore im sick of it every time i try i get fucking worse or am crushed by something else even harder than before im DONE WITH IT IM FUCKING OVER IT i just wanna end it theres nothing fucking here for me im never making it. im sick of trying. im sick of always helping even while going through the wordt shit imaginable. im not sick of it. i want to help and i love helping. but it makes me fucking SICK to think about how ive spent my whole life caring for others. have been let down or ignored or told i was lying or had them hurt me instead so many times over i just fucking wish i was important enough to have gotten help when i needed it. to be listened to enough for somebody to even acknowledge or believe there is an issue (or simply convince me im overreacting)
it was fucking stupid of me to think my last ditch effort of doing art school because every other thing i failed miserably at because im too stupid and cant do enough and dont have the support. it doesnt even fucking matter bc my body is slowly and slowly getting closer to just saying "no fuck you" to the art i NEVER HAD TIME TO MAKE TO MY FULL ABILITY IN THE FIRST PLACE. and then ill never be able to do it ever again because i cant get help
i am going to die knowing i never finished a single thing in my life and nobody will ever know what i was capable of.
i want to die in the most painful and uncomfortable way possible because its what i deserve. its the only thing i truly deserve. i need to endanger myself more than i already do obviously its not killing me fast enough if im still kicking and dragging myself across the pavement. i should be dragged along the pavement by a semitruck instead.
i wanna kill myself so bad tonight man. im gonna try not to bc my friend really needs me rn. but i really might relapse. im so fucking tired i want to just go and sleep but ill stay up just for that. i should just cut a vein already why do i care about beinf careful. there was a thing i wanted to do... cut myself with a razor right after i use it to chop **** because maybe itll make me feel good when im not or just fuck my heart enough to make me faint or do smth stupider
ive been writing this for so long im fucking done. i got 2.5 more hours here. i hope i find my mouse when i go home so i change my mind but i honestly really just want to end it right now. im at the end of the line really. im gonna work til i die and never get a break
"everyday it feels like noone sees and noone knows. every day i kinda wanna cancel the show." /lyr
please for the love of god like this if you read all of it i just spilled my whole guts and not even well
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wibta if i held an intervention for my cousin?
strap in bc this is gonna be long, but first i need to introduce this little cast of characters: I (26f), my sister (23f) and my cousin (22f) are literally the only young ones in my family. my fathers siblings never married, and i have only my mother's sister (50sthF) who has married and also has a kid. so this made us kind of close since we were kids, especially my sister and my cousin (due to their close ages) were always together. we did live far from each other, and could only meet one or two times in a year.
my cousin and my sister have ocd. i have depression. we all have anxieties. my aunt and my mother both have anger issues, so we kind of can guess what kind of house my cousin is living in. and also from what we could see during our short visits. so yeah, we're all fucked up, but ever since i started therapy and forced my sister to go as well, things started to change. my cousin kept making excuses about money issues, and not really needing any therapy, but her ocd started spiraling down very quickly after her cat got sick last year (we'll get to that soon).
so here's where the problem lies: my cousin has ocd, and needs to constantly ask for approval. she also has severe separation anxiety, to the point that she cant even think about a family member or her cat dying. and see, i get that! we also had beloved pets who died and honestly it still fucks us up, but she is getting delusional about it. god forbid we mention that the cat is now an old lady, or say that shes not as sharp/agile as she was before—this makes her cry immediately. also her ocd is very focused on her cat: she thinks she can carry diseases to her cat, she gets hysterical if we change our clothes near the cats bowl, asks everyone repeatedly if sth unrelated might make the cat sick. shes also of the belief that if someone uses an insect spray, then the poison will stay there till she goes to that place and carries the poison to her cat and making her sick. we kept explaining to her that if the sprays would work like that then we wouldnt suffer from a serious ant infestation for the third year in a row, but as it goes with ocd, she just cant accept it. she only believes what her mother says, and well. her mother gets agitated Very Quickly and they start fighting which makes everything worse.
usually id interfere and tell my aunt to just get along with my cousin as shes going through therapy and medication, and i saw it first hand on my sister that it takes time for ocd to get calmer. its not like oh u started therapy? why arent u already performing like a mentally healthy person?? this is what i suffered from when i first started my therapy. but my aunts main issue isnt her ocd. the ocd is par for the course—the main problem is that my cousin never helps around the house.
we knew this, since we have been together forever, that my cousin never works. she complains a lot, even snaps if u ask her to do two things at once (even if its like hey check the kettle and btw put this glass in the sink as well). and my aunt has zero tolerance for her attitude, which leads to her doing the chore herself and well this kind of encourages my cousin to get away from the chores by complaining. she was like this ever since we were KIDS. she'd play with us and make a mess, but when we were supposed to clean everything shed either not do a thing (saying "i dont know how to" even to simple things like put the thing in the basket) or shed just. vanish. whenever we ate lunch or dinner, shed immediately go to the bathroom, and come out after everything was cleaned and washed. and before u say there might be sth else, it really wasnt. she even admitted to it later. she just didnt want to do a single shit. and well, now that shes older, its getting kind of upsetting. whenever she's alone at home she does NOTHING. and when my aunt comes back from her trip SHES the one who has to clean after my cousin, even tho she has just arrived home. this is why no matter how much she asks us to go stay with her when shes alone, we never go. bc we dont want to clean after her. or when she comes over to our house she just. barely does a thing.
this is taking a huge mental and physical toll on my aunt, bc shes physically disabled (severe migraines caused by a bubble in her head, and recently due to her bad workplace her right hand and arm are also not doing well), and even tho she kind of brought this on herself (but indirectly encouraging my cousins behavior), its still really upsetting. whenever we go to their house, my sister and i try to shoulder a part of chores, bc 1) our aunt shouldn't have to do everything by herself and 2) we were taught to help. my parents never had any tolerance for us slacking off.
cut to last week when we went to their house, and it was a huge war zone. my aunt kept shouting at my cousin for things that werent her fault (like her asking for approval or complaining about sth someone did), and on the other hand my cousin kept dodging the chores, and when my aunt asked her to do ONE thing she kept snapping at her and complaining like it was a huge deal (it really wasnt. example: my aunt asked her to put her clothes which she had already folded and put on her bed away. my cousin snapped at her that she would do it and she should get off her back and then kept complaining that her folded clothes arent bothering anyone and she shouldnt be forced to put them away. this is not an exaggeration.) i also realized that part of the problem with their relationship was how my cousin kept complaining about everything to my aunt, which makes my aunt go insane bc she needs a break from the negativity, but my cousin is very clingy and would call her multiple times a day just to bitch about sth. and hey, i also bitch about things to my mother, but i dont call her that much when shes/im away, and also i try to balance it with good fun stories. i know my cousin isnt like having a very bad life, she just likes to complain about everything. but this, coupled with her insistent need for approval, and her clinginess, makes for a bad recipe.
so, when i finally had a private moment with my cousin, i told her that she needs to do chores, and this would do wonders to the current tension! i said this very gently and very quickly bc i didnt want my aunt to overhear us, and my cousin started crying and nodding and said she would try. this made me feel a bit calmer about the whole situation, until the next fucking day when my grandparents came to my aunts house and my cousin, u guessed, did nothing to help my aunt. at one point my sister found her kissing her cat instead of setting the table, and it made us both extremely mad.
i think that gently talking with her wont do good, bc she'd probably do the same thing again. i feel like i need to be more stern and a little bit harsher to hammer the point home, bc apparently she doesnt understand anything unless its shouted at her. im not gonna shame her or anything, im just gonna say that she needs to a) continue her therapy (which she has dropped for 5 months) b) take her pills regularly (which she doesnt) c) enforce a clear boundary between herself and her mother no matter how close they and d) do the chores. if she doesnt do these stuff, then she wont be able to get any sympathy from me, and my sister. also cant complain about it anymore if she's not going to do any fucking thing to improve her situation.
so, wibta?
What are these acronyms?
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so... rough thumbnails of a comic i was thinkin of doing! but i realized comics are a lot more work than i like to do so they will prob be thumbnails forever looool. sorry if the dialogue is doodoo this is the closest i've ever gotten to writing fanfic.
ik my handwriting is ass so ill put a transcript under:
D: Dude... D: I'm not gonna lie, this is really weirding me out. R: *phew* I'm glad you said it bc... R: I honestly dont know how to feel about this..
R: My worst nightmare was having to bury you... bury my little brother. And here I am, doing just that. I know youre still here but... It scares me.. I don't know if its okay to mourn- to cry! I dont understand what im feeling, I dont know if this is something to cry about....
D:... D: Do you want to cry?
R: maybe... R: But what about you though? Do you want to cry? D: Honestly, I dont think the reality of this has set in for me yet. And when it does, I cant even cry anymore anyways...
D: Do you want to just go home and cry it out together? R: ...yeah. R: Thanks, dee. D: It's no problem. R: and, you know... when you do feel like crying.. I'd be happy to be the shoulder you cry on... I'm here for you Donnie, even if im kinda crap at comforting others...
D: Thank you, raph.
R: yeah. No problem...
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hiiii can you give us some info about the songs in your come home playlist? youve added so many new songs im kinda scared 🥲
oh BOY anon im about to write you an essay ,,,,, whew get ready
generally speaking, each song correlates with either steve, jon, or bug. so im just gonna go through each song in the playlist and say who is for what and then some insight if i can <3 also, if it applies, what season i envision for each song !
1. pretty boy - steve (vibes overall how i see his character)
2. i dont know you like i used to - bugs feelings about jon in season 1 (no longer knows him anymore)
3. chelsea dagger - overall vibe for come home. it feels so stranger things coded and chasing around the party
4. buttons - jon n bug (their dynamic and where the knife engraving comes from !! bugs knives were inspired by this song)
5. i always knew - steve n bug <3333
6. sweet nothing - more steve n bug
7. august - come homes main message. i see steve/bug/jon when i hear the song. growing up.
8. maple syrup - heavy bug and steve season 2 coded
9. oh no i think im in love - steve falling for bug and his fear </3
10. kiss her you fool - so steve season 3 coded its insane. kiss her !!!!!
11. star tripping - honestly bug and steve vibes season 1 ??? feels very nancy and jon being messy and making them Miserable coded
12. to be your lover - STEVE N BUG SEASON 3 ANTHEM !!!!
13. ode to a conversation stuck in your throat - jon and steve. thats all i will say
14. youre okay - jon and bug. how they see one another. but also steve and bug later. they have each others backs. theyre ok together.
15. plan on you - BUG !!! ITS SO BUG CODED AS SHE REALIZES SHE LOVES STEVE. play this while reading season 2 and youll understand
16. just a boy - steves anthem. this song screams his character and how i envision affects his relationships with others
17. youre losing me - jon n bug. obviously
18. sick of losing soulmates - bug later season 2. shes over jon, she has a chance at love with steve. will come into play more season 3 so shhhh
19. halfway - jon and bug anthem. it pains me. read the lyrics. im begging.
20. out of tune - jon n bug again. explains their final scene together season 2. they grew up together n this song captures their childhood </3
21. did i love you - more jon n bug. these songs were added as i was planning season 2 lmao. also a jug anthem
22. your needs, my needs - jon n bug. ouch
23. if i didnt have you - jon n bug end of season 3. cant say more. but also i see steve n bug on a happier note, the song is melancholy
24. blink - jons anthem :((((((( truly, this is how he feels about bug. its him.
25. if you call - legally cant say who this is for but it applies to season 4
26. romeo and juliet - season 3 stug <3333 babies <3333
27. high tops - season 1-2 coded steve. pining for bug without realizing it. just always watching her. ugh.
28. olivia - BUG !!! season 4 specifically and steve fearing things lmao
29. the view between villages - B U G !!!!! its her anthem. especially for season 4. i cant say anything else
30. our last summer - season 3 vibes overall :( its everyones last summer together and it concludes season 3s vibes
31. til forever falls apart - overall just a very stranger things coded song, but def steve n bug during the later seasons <3
32. drive baby - horny and pining steve lmao
33. honey - STUG SEASON 3 ANTHEM BABYYYY !!!!!
34. featherstone - added her today. feels very but n jon and what they couldve had :(
what a lovely note to end on LMAO. hope u enjoyed my ramblings i love my playlist sm
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30.
I know for a fact no one is on here anymore, but doing this has been on the back of my mind for about a week or so.
But I just turned 30. My last almost 15 years of life have been recorded to some extent on here. From my 20s to now my 30s life has been fucking nuts. From going to feeling invincible, to feeling that like everyday is a new challenge of what im going to go through. I remember in like elementary school and middle school, i was like embarrassed of being on the younger end for my class. I would always lie and say that i was born in 93 instead of 94. Such a weird thing. and before i turned 21, i wasnt pressed on going downtown to the bars and clubs cause i know when my time came it would be fine. But gdamn, my 20s are gone. I cant help to reflect on the life ive lived. From college, to my first real job, first time living on my own money, relationships, covid, grad school, and to the last major things of buying a house and getting engaged. like what tf am I doing, in the back of my head im still that one kid that eats a shit ton, works out alot, and smokes hookah. But in reality im not that person anymore lol. i used to be very resistant on change but, i know its inevitable but it does still bums me out a bit. I think it bummed me out before because up until recently, ive been very deprived from my friends. I felt bad reaching out, and I felt like i was being a burden hitting them up. But like now, id rather reach out and see them rather than feel like im missing out. But ive seen more friends in the past few months than I feel like i have in the past few months combined. I know social connection is a big part of being healthy, but i didnt realize it was like that for me. But it makes sense, for almost almos the whole time i was in richmond, i was constantly around friends. but as a real adult that shit is kinda hard, gotta cross reference everyones schedules and shit. but like honestly its better than nothing, and i dont think i could do that shit for a extended amount of time lol. and life is just so fucking different know, fucking mortage and house stuff. and still trying to exercise regularly and be an adult.
i almost never want to plan anything for my birthday cause i dont like that feeling of being a burden or w/e. But it just happned to be that arvin moved back home and we got lunch the day before with matt. and that night we hung out at a hookah bar. Ive been so scared with the random health shit ive been dealing with but hookah actually calmed me down a lot for some reason. and Im trying really hard not to get back into the habit of smoking on a regular basis. after smoking for 10 years man, that shit would fuck me up. not the smoking, but feeling reliant on something. Shit addiction is fucking real. Im blessed to be able to pull myself away from shit like that, but i know in the back of my head i know that shit would feel so nice lol. Even when i was vaping, that shit didnt hit as good as a hookah lol.
but yeah life is different. getting settled in the house, gonna plan for a wedding of some sort in the near future, trying to get the house figured out. life is just fucking wild to me right now.
the 20s i definately learned a shit ton. I feel fucking old talking like that, but like its fucking true. the kids in their 20s now have like no idea how to live like we did. i hope i can get to a point where i can be good mentally and physically to live life a little bit of what i used to. I always hear that the 30s is like your 20s with more money, which makes me hella excited. but yeah, im 30 now, idk the next time ill be on here. ill probably come on here once in a while until it dies off forever. I lowkey want to go back into my shit and read some stuff, but i honestly cant bring myself to dig through that shit lol.
until the next.
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DHP!JK
maybe you ARE foolish.
you feel your heart sink to your stomach when jungkook shows you the video of sarang putting something in his drink and taking whiffs of his denim jacket. she isn’t sure she can look jungkook in his eye after watching the video; instead of listening to him you were doubting him this entire time. “i-i—,” you don’t know what to say but jungkook is rightfully accusing you of not believing him.
“See? Y-You never believed me yn, honestly, I didn’t believe myself too, but my friend believed in me, he fought to know the truth, and he got to the bottom of the truth but you didn’t..”
“jungkook, i….” your grip on the handle of your bag tightens. your throat is dry, your heart is racing, and your brain is trying its hardest to put words together.
“Haha.. This is so tragic. Wow. Now that you know the truth, I NEVER cheated on you and… you are free to leave me now. I won’t stop you. Leave me forever, yn. We ARE done.”
the sound of glass shattering echoes in your ears. “n-no. i…jungkook, i am so sorry. you’re right, i should’ve believed you but i thought you were with her” you try to explain your side but jungkook is firm on his words just like you were not too long ago.
your eyes fill with tears as you drop your bag and rush to wrap your arms around him. you’re pathetic, truly. not even a second ago jungkook was begging for you to stay and here you are doing the same. why did you resolve go? have you no pride? none. you have nothing without him. you are nothing without him.
“jungkook! please!! d-don’t look at me like that. i’m sorry okay? i should’ve believed you. i’m a horrible girlfriend, i really am but i’ll be better. i can be better. just have faith in me and-and i’ll try. i’ll do whatever you want. i’ll stay home, quit my job, and stay by your side”
you drop to your hands and knees and plead for jungkook to take you back. “PLEASE!!!!!! i can’t do this, jungkook. i can breathe without you. i’m sorry. i’m so so sorry. please, i’ll never doubt you again. jungkook? take me back, please? i’m begging you…you’re all i have left. i’m-i’m nothing without you” you whisper the last part with your head hanging low. it’s true. you’re nothing without him.
~🫧
He just shakes his head, tears don’t stop falling down his cheeks.
What is the point of you begging him? You didn’t believe him, he knows that it’s not your fault.. but why does it hurt so much?
He wants to forgive you so badly, but he just can’t. You out of all people didn’t believe him and the worst part is that you wouldn’t have believed him if he didn’t give you the proof, if the footage hadn’t been sent to him… if eunwoo hadn’t stepped in? Jungkook would’ve been abandoned by you.
You Would’ve left him and you would’ve been fine without him, you would have been fine with abandoning him. You were going to move on from him.
Just the thought of that makes him angry,
“You know what? I said WE ARE DONE YN!” He screams, his eyes hardening, he stares at you, how the tables have turned.
“Yn please just let go of me, I beg you- I don’t want to hurt your feelings but I will because I’m loosing my fucking temper.” He breathes hard, clenching his fist.
You were going to abandon him
“DONT FUCKING LIE YN! YOU ARE MANIPULATING ME! JUST FUCKIN LET GO OF ME. YOU ARE GOING TO ABANDON ME SO DO IT NOW.” He growls, grunting.
His tone is getting louder and louder
“THE TRUTH IS THAT WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE. The truth is that you were everything without me and I ruined you. You think I was holding you back SO JUST GO. You will be fine without me. YOU ALWAYS WERE!”
He spits venom and your sobs, only get loud and louder.
“your tears are gonna do shit to me yn STOP CRYING AND LEAVE ME THE LIKE COLD, HEARTLESS WOMAN THAT YOU ARE.”
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spoilers for paper mario: origami king !!
i uhhh havent finished it just yet but im so obsessed and in love that i need to ramble,, (just deleted purple ribbon)
you have been warned
OH my glob there is nothing in the world that can make me happier than this game,, dont get me wrong i love my boyfriend but this is just such an amazing game im going to fucking cry when i finish it because the first time experience will be over,, but !! ive been savouring it as much as i can
as i get closer to beating the game and saving all the toads i can find along the way, its still really weird seeing the stadium of toads filling up so much.. like what im just a guy- BRO and - mmmmMMMM
i havent played many mario games but this is absolutely by far my favourite mario iteration as a character. he is so silly and so goofy and hes not mean to luigi and he dances and grooves and has such a silly fun time i really hope there will be a bit more luigi content too after i save the castle or something i love them both so much
and like olivia was a lil annoying at first, some of her hints (esp during battle) can be pretty useless and she holds your hand through a lot of things,, reminding me that im playing a kids game, but ive grown to love her a lot i love how silly she is even tho she is quite oblivious sometimes. her dancing is so cute and while its not like technically her form or whatever its so cool seeing her fold into the different vellumentals!!!
.......i miss bob-omb "bobby" :( why did silly fun game have angst.. OUGH AND HE SHOWS UP IN THE PICTURES YOU TAKE AT SHOGUN STUDIOS IT MAKES ME SOB wah hes following and keeping along on the adventure :(((( i love him 😭 gary come home moment,,,
um.. anyway. moving on from my heartbreak theres just like a kajillion reasons to love this game, and while i dont have the comparison of the other paper marios i have no clue how the hell this one is deemed as the worst one!! sure the combat is a little weird but its puzzling and challenging and so unique!! ..albeit i dont like doing it over and over and over but as you get more health you get stronger and can just smack em with ur hammer and not have to fight them which i REALLY appreciate
anyways it just has so much in it and i love the puzzles and the silly little things inside i love the sneaky stuff and 😭 the shogun theatre show was just amazing. idk how many hours of gameplay i have in it so far but it feels like eons /pos
i dont think ive ever had a game that ive hyperfixated on so hard that has made me smile and laugh and cry so much this will forever hold such a strong place in my heart and while i cant wait to finish it i absolutely never want it to be over
so that being said!! if this IS the "worst paper mario game" then honestly all i have to look forward to is up!! i love the toads so much i love the silly ways you find them.... im also curious what wouldve happened if i agreed w the folded soldier in the very beginning and went yeah!! being folded sounds amazing sign me up!! .........bro........ that could open up a whole alternate storyline gameplay. probably not but like imaging it is so cool!! like.. mario gets folded and then instead of saving toads he folds em up n is on a quest to put all the ribbons in place or something
im not sure exactly how it would work out but a sort of anti-mario would be very neat
urgh okay its late im gonna conclude this as part 1 of my rambling abt paper mario lmao, a lot of words but not a lot was said
#rambles#hyperfixation#i cant stop thinking about it#at all#i swear i am so normal#paper mario#origami king#i didnt even scratch the surface at all#gary come home#pls :(#wahhhh#okay im tired bye
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Hi! I’m trying to dig into Cassie’s comics in order to learn more about her character and read her best stories. I’ve already collected some recs of her time in Wonder Woman comics, and I’m aware that her fan fave story is all of Young Justice (1998). However, I tried reading YJ and I honestly am not into stories aimed towards a younger teen audience that are goofy and satirical. I can definitely see the appeal for some folks, but it’s just not for me. Despite that, I am willing to read more of this run if only purely to learn more about Cassie and her dynamics with her teammates in the run. Can you by chance recommend me which issues/arcs from YJ (1998) are best purely for Cassie? Thank you!
thank you so much for the ask anon! you asked this at the absolute perfect time because i literally just opened up the website to read some yj!!
starting off, we have issue 7. this issue id count as quite important because the whole gang talk about their motives for becoming heroes, we get to see the parents interact, etc. really awesome issue.
my next rec would be the arrowette arc, because i really think this shows a lot of cassies character and how she can sometimes be dismissive of people, specifically cissie. issue 15-18.
my next rec would absolutely be the arc after this, specifically issue 19, here we get to see on full display cassies insecurities, her need to be a hero, etc. also its the first appearance of anita!!!
next is cassies story in issue 22, which is also written by a fave writer of mine! fantastic story that shows cassie at home and her wants for the future and again her insecurities.
also i recommend sins of youth because its awesome and cassies tie in is again written by a fave of mine (brian k vaughan <3). read sins of youth: wonder girls!
now we’re gonna skip ALLLLL the way to. wait. hang on. the website just went down. fuck. okay hang on.
right ok we’re back. i now recommend issue 33-34. cassies in it and so is my beloved cissie. cassie and anita and cissie are on the set of buffy the vampire slayer wendy the werewolf stalker!
next issue is 35-37, and this one is great for the cissiecassie fans (meee). shows again cassies reluctance to accept cissie doesnt want to be a hero (GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY) and genuinely just a great arc. really sad too.
next you should read 38-39, because oh god the comphet. first issue is where match is jokerfied, cassie spills her heart out to him and i still think shes a lesbian, second is a fun issue with cissie.
next arc recommendation! world without young justice. its kinda crappy, and i dont remember much of it. give it a go tho maybe?
issue 47. CASSIE BECOMES TEAM LEADER. oh my god im so proud of her!!!
from here on i recommend reading up till the end, issue 53. because this whole arc is amazing and also shows cassie being a great leader.
BUT WAIT. THERES MORE!
here comes my absolute favourite young justice arc EVER.
titans/young justice: graduation day 1-3. this is fantastic. i cant even describe it you have to read it for yourself issue 3 will forever haunt me PLEASE READ IT.
thanks so much for the ask anon, and i hope this helps! truly, i recommend reading all of young justice because its fun, but you dont seem to like it, so give these a go!
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hey lotusmi... so i am gonna share my story so i make sure to give you a warning before i proceed.. its not traumatic and stuff its just issues i have..
so i am actually in my house and since kid till now i am always at home seeing t.v and other gadgets and it honestly makes me happy but when i go to school i have friends yes... a group of friends but those guys like i kinda dont relate with them especially the 2 girls because i always be with them but i feel like they kinda ignores me but also reassures me that they dont want to leave me alone also so they are really good people. tbh those 2 relate a lot with each other but i dont usually care about my friend group now cuz honestly its boring they dont give me attention (thats what i feel like). but if i talk to someone they come in and interrupts my conversation that honestly pisses me off. sometimes they make me feel i am a weird person because i am the most weirdest person in my friend group and my friends are usually mature people but we don't text at all but we talk in school so i feel kinda distant with my friend group and i know for sure this wont last after my school life is over. and these are my problems with friendgroup i guess? and in my house i am literally an introvert and always stays at home and i really wanna go out and have fun but the problem is i dont have people to go out because most of my friends are my school friends because those people are the ones i talk other than that i dont text or talk to anyone... i think u get the context? and my parents.. ya they r fine they let me do what i want and usually dont care so thats good overall. especially due to being in this community for 5 months almost which helped me alot with mental health wise.
the person i want to be is just go out and have fun, being the most popular getting attention nonstop and alot of stuff which yk every people aspire to be.. but i just dont know because after i saw this community every single day i open my laptop and open my tumblr first and start to read these loa's, Neville goddard books and stuff which made me overconsume but i know that all i have to do is feel that desire already been accomplish and move on with my day but idk what will i do after that because in reality i am just at home seeing gadgets and stuff thats all i do and especially i dont have a real life to experience except in my imagination. imagination is my home and everything and i love to imagine stuff and identify with myself and ngl the stuffs i have imagined came true! but idk i just feel distant and alone? idk what is the issue i am talking about but i want an third person perspective of my assumption and the story which i have written here thats all! i am so sorry if troubled you in any way but i just want clarity of what my thoughts are and why do i identify with this story?
I did not fully read it yet, but as I read "Issues I have" I smile and think "Don't accept it", just as Neville always did. You are not your issues, nothing is permanent, only I AM is forever, and I AM is your wonderful awareness, that you can decide to identify yourself and your life as you want. Because 'circumstances does not matter'.
"the person i want to be" 'You are already that which you want to be, and your refusal to believe it is the only reason you do not see it.' - Neville Goddard
I struggled 5 months with my own weird feelings about the void. But as I decided I would not identify myself as having that weird feelings and stopped myself identifying that I felt weird, I stopped feeling weird. It was that easy. You are the creator in your mind too. So stop thinking there's a mystical reason, I did that for 5 months to discover the mystical reason was that I accepted to feel it. So if you don't want to feel like this, do just as I did, don't feel it. Just because you don't want to, then don't do it. It is this simple.
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