#and honestly eye opening too. how much goes into making moe Like That (the way that it is!)

[moe-broey]

Like first three portraits I think the body language can plausibly match up. The initial sketch, absolutely, like, that's exactly how it is. It's a pleasant/happy/relaxed vibe, maybe some mischief. The limp-wrist/raptor hand is a subconscious thing (sometimes just one, sometimes both if I want to have a ghoulie effect LMFAO).

Each portrait after (if it wasn't obvious!) is traced with a lightbox! So the expressions are slapped on top of whatever base pose I ran with (this Was the intent). The second one, is more of a neutral resting vibe. Despite the frown/pout, that's just how it looks. If it had a sound effect it would be "❓".

Third one I think is where the base body language starts to not match the expression, and if I had drawn it from scratch with that specific emotion in mind, I probably would have selected a different stance. That emotion... is difficult to pin down, but it's something like a worried sprite. May be read as disgust or annoyance, which may be true, may not be. Moe just has a natural scrunch and grimace to it LMFAO (THE EYES SQUINTING. ADDS SO MUCH in this regard it is one of my FAVORITE ways to convey emotion w Moe). But like, my conclusion here is Maybe that pose Could Work, but I feel like another one would work better, ESP if I had context/a situation as to Why it's scrunching.

Last two expressions/body language just doesn't add up at all! The fourth one is the most glaring example I think. If I'm drawing That Anger I need to have Moe hunched up like a pissed off cat. It's entire body needs to look like it's just the angriest little animal you've ever fucking seen. If it had fur it would be standing up on end. The body language is WAY too relaxed here.

And fifth one, I feel... that's one of Moe's more unreadable expressions. And because of that, I think it would need to be paired with unreadable body language. Both arms would probably be down. Stance like 🧍, somber style.

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Hestia

This is another eternally virgin goddess, so we're doing another pseudo-demigod by adoption (like we did with Athena).

Demigod MC: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares, Hestia

Hestia is the goddess of the Hearth, Home, Architecture, Domesticity, Family, and the State. She's high up there (firstborn of Rhea and Cronus), but several factors have led to her falling into the background when compared to the other (flashier) Olympians. She swore to never marry, rejecting proposals from both Poseidon and Apollo, and is something of an antithesis to Aphrodite.

Lucifer

Honestly? He thought they were exactly what they were after. A weak human with no experience in the magical world what-so-ever.

Well… He was half-right.

On the surface, this is a pretty weak human. They don't have super flashy powers or a divine birth from the gods… but they do have a very protective adoptive mother.

The brothers had just settled in for their first dinner with the new human when the goddess herself strolled into their dining room, asked who was in charge, then dragged Lucifer away by the ear!

She's not even his mother, yet he felt the intense urge to apologize and put himself in his own room… Oh, the humiliation… at least she did the same to Diavolo…

The Prince was only able to calm her down by promising absolutely NO harm would come to her child… on their heads...

By the time the goddess finally let him go, Lucifer was about ready to shackle the MC to his wrist so nothing could touch them but he settled on keeping them with him like an assistant of sorts. They were in charge of helping him with the paperwork so he could keep an eye on them. 

What he didn’t expect was for them to be so… good at it? They could keep his offices clean, they managed his daily schedule, fixed up the House, and still have time to bring him tea and sweets every night!

They could even reign in his brothers somehow… They weren't strong or intimidating, but one or two mildly unhappy words out of them and everybody would be on their best behavior.

Was everyone positive they're only human...?

As much as he hated to admit, he may have a slight deep case of falling for the housekeeper… He would make a move, but well…

He has Beel to contend with first.

Mammon

Okay so, watching Lucifer get dragged out by the ear just like Raphael used to do to him was hilarious!!! The whole room got a good laugh! 🤣

Until Hestia glared at them and suddenly they all felt like they'd disappointed someone important….

And all that fuss over some dumb human??

So what if they made amazing food?

So what if they could clean the entire mansion in a day?

So what if they were the walking equivalent to a warm cup of cocoa on a winter's day??

So what if they were just the kindest, sweetest thing in this godforsaken hellscape and he would throw himself in front of a bus to keep them safe-

-Wait, when did that happen?!?

Seriously, Mammon's attachment to the MC came out of NOWHERE to him. One day, he was threatening to eat their soul and the next he's freaking out when they stub their toe!

He swears they have to have some kind of magic about them! A charm, or a spell, or… their lovable smile and warm, loving hugs...! 😊

Damnit!! They're too cute!! He needs them to go away but also never leave, thanks. 😒

In all seriousness, though their kind nature puts Mammon's tsundere self at a bit of a disadvantage, his protective instincts shoot through the roof whenever they're involved.

Naturally, that means his day is spent running them away from hungry lesser demons or shielding them from Beel and Lucifer's tug-of-war matches… He's a busy guy these days. 😖

Leviathan 

They're so… so… MOE!!!

That was his immediate thought when Mammon brought them home. He was expecting a defenseless human, but not one that could have stepped out of one of his slice-of-life manga!

To be honest, his instant thought was try and find a place to sit them on his shelves with the rest of the adorable characters he loves… 😅

And that was before they even opened their mouth! Five words into their introduction and he was ready to get their face on a t-shirt!!

Honestly, combine their natural cuteness with their household skills and they made for perfect waifu/husbando material… 

Not helped by the fact they found one of his maid/butler outfits while doing the laundry one day. Not only did they ask if they could wear it, they actually non-ironically liked it and started wearing it around the House!!

Oh he got cornered by Beel, Lucifer, and Mammon separately that day because they thought he was using them for fetish fuel… But it was their idea, he swears!!

I mean… He didn't discourage them or anything either but still…

If Beel hadn't claimed them on Day One, Levi might have eventually thrown his hat in the ring too... Oh well… he can pine from a distance… What else is new? 😔

Satan

He has a video of Hestia dragging Lucifer out of the dining room on his phone and it's one of his most treasured possessions now. 😌

He is perhaps the only person in the House who was not at all impressed with their little human.

So they could cook? So could he. So they can clean? That's not impressive. They could manage a household? Big deal, he's more or less been in charge of the same thing for centuries!

As far as he saw it, there was nothing the MC could do that he couldn't do as proficiently or even better. There was nothing remarkable about this human at all!

… except for one thing.

That maid/butler outfit of Levi's? The one they like to wear around?

It has cat accessories…

Either they don't notice or they don't mind it but they essentially walk around the House cleaning things with little kitty ears attached to their head and a bell on their collar…

Dammit… Why did Levi even buy that?!?

Satan ended up getting in trouble for enchanting their outfit to give them REAL ears and a tail "accidentally..." Lucifer strung him up by his toes, Beel gave him a black-eye, and Mammon still calls him a "perverted cat freak" but it was worth it, he says, worth it!!

Asmodeus 

Oh Beel…

Asmo saw Beel's feelings for the MC coming from a mile away. He didn't even need to confirm it with a sniff check, he had them scented by the end of their first night!

Lucifer, on the other hand, now that was a surprise... 😏

Ask him a century ago if Lucifer would ever consider a human lover, godly mother or no, and he'd have laughed! Yet here he is, giving gifts and sneaking whiffs of their adorable new housemate!

Of course, that's causing some commotion because they're pitted against each other, but Asmo finds it kind of cute honestly. 

Beel and Lucifer aren't fighting, not for real. The whole house knows Lucifer would win in a real brawl, but neither of them actually want to hurt the other… They're far too close for that.

So Beel tosses Lucifer around with kid gloves and Lucifer holds back considerably against Beel. It's pretty much just two brothers who love each other squabbling over the same toy… 🤭

Honestly, Lucifer might have bowed out by now and just let Beel have them but now his pride's on the line… thus an endless tussle between family and the sweet MC is in the middle, clueless to it all!

Tragic, is it not? But it certainly makes things more entertaining around here! (Good thing too since Beel beat him to the punch… If it's a fight against those two, he'll have to keep any of his own affairs with the MC under the radar... 😏)

Beelzebub 

He has claimed this one. Full stop.

For a bit of perspective: when Barbatos needs cooking tips, he calls Hestia. Hestia, the Divine Master of All Things Cooking. Hestia, the goddess who raised this MC… 

Needless to say if they have any magic at all, it's in the kitchen.

If food is the way to Beel's heart, this MC has claimed his heart, soul, and probably all of his vital organs. Their food is astounding!! Always perfect every time and so good it brings him to tears!

It started the night of that first dinner, prepared by MC. He was too busy scarfing down the table to even notice a goddess showed up and then he proposed to the MC with their own pig roast by meal's end!

They said no to marriage, but an instant pact agreement suited him just fine.

Beel didn't waste a single moment before he started treating them like a potential mate, territorial aggression and all, but there was a bit of a catch… He kept the MC totally oblivious to it.

Surprisingly, Beel's can turn the "They're MINE" part of his brain on and off pretty well. He's nothing but sweet and cuddly to the MC when they're around and even with his brothers!... as long as they don't try anything.

The moment he caught whiff that Lucifer might be pursuing them too, it was on. Suddenly the two brothers who almost never fight were in competition against each other! But of course, both have an unspoken rule to never do so in front of MC.

And now poor MC believes it's common for demons to "play wrestle" like puppies and hugs are traditionally supposed to be so hard they could snap spines… 

And it doesn’t look like they'll be backing down any time soon… Oh dear...

Belphegor 

You know what? For once, everything goes exactly to plan for Belphie!

No really, this MC has no hidden powers, no magic horses, not even Demon Nip. They are a helpless, trusting little human who just wants to help their big teddy bear get his twin back!

So, you know how it goes. The charm, the lies, the treachery and all of that. He even gets to kill them!! Oh, happy days!! 😁

Come to think of it, they did smell an awful lot like Beel… But who cares, as long as Lucifer suffers right?? And this whole "living together in harmony" crap fails, right?!

Wrong. 

Beel went ballistic. Lucifer did too, but Beel was what really hurt…

Belphie can safely say that in all of his life, Beel has never physically attacked him. Not once, or at least, not with intent to kill… 

But when the sixthborn's fist went crashing through the wall right by his ear that day, he knew his brother's first instinct was to aim for his head… and his second was to miss, as he still loved him, but only by just a little.

What the hell did he just do??

Thank their father for Barbatos and all the funky time stuff he can do because bringing the MC "back" snapped his angry brothers right out of it. 

Things should have been smoothed over at that point but as everyone was finally settling down for tea, Hestia made another appearance in the House… this time carrying a butcher's knife!

Time fix or no, Diavolo had promised her no harm would come to MC and at least one continuity of them DIED… so punishment was now on Lucifer and the Demon Prince himself!

Belphie, in a rare case of guilt and an expression of brotherly love, offered to take their place since it WAS kind of all his fault. His gesture softened the Goddess of Family juuust enough to lighten his sentence from execution to hard labor.

And thus, the MC had their own housekeeping assistant for a whole year, complete with bitter reluctance and a matching maid outfit! Cat-theme and all!!

He's sending nightmares to anybody who laughs… guaranteed. 😒

[yehet-me-up]

Fractions of Tomorrow

Pairing: Zitao/Reader (female)

Word Count: 10,249

Rating/Warnings: PG13

Summary: They always say opposites attract but you and Tao are putting that theory to the test. He works nights at Flanagan’s, you work the crack of dawn shift at Starbucks. He wears leather jackets, sings in a rock band, and drives a motorcycle. You prefer Keds to Chucks, study poetry at UW, and ride a pastel purple bike across town. Luckily, he’s not someone who’s afraid of a challenge.

When Baekhyun dares you and Tao to test the idea that two people can fall in love in one night you don’t expect to care so much, so fast. And when the sun rises all you can hope is that he feels the same.

Part seven of the Exodus Mall series (Can be read independently, but you’ll get some extra backstory if you read the other parts first!)

February 28, 1997

His head aches, body still reeling from the alcohol he drank far too much of the night before. The line at Starbucks is endlessly long and he groans. If he was responsible he’d go to the grocery across the street and get a decent breakfast. But his brain needs a substitute for the gin he was coerced into last night by his friends and it will only accept caffeine as an offering. 

A saccharine song pours in from the speakers and people around him clear their throats or rustle in their pockets and the sheer noise of the morning grates against him. He’s a creature of the night; he finds other humans far more tolerable without the sun beating down on him. Only desperation pulled him from his hangover to acquire the nectar of the gods. He taps his foot and shrugs his jacket further up his body, hoping the collar will keep the bright light pouring in from the tall windows from reaching him. 

A sweet voice breaks through the din and he turns to watch you, drawn by the warmth of the sound. It’s not his first time here, but it’s his first time paying attention. In the thriving ecosystem of the Exodus Mall everyone’s a friend of a friend of a cousin of someone and he distantly remembers you’re related to one of Baekhyun’s friends. 

Maybe it’s the way early mornings after late nights distort the world, making everything feel hazy like a dream. Maybe it’s the fact that he went home alone last night, yet again. Maybe it’s the bright, energetic shine in your eyes, astounding for the pre-eight-am time. Or maybe it’s the dimple in your cheek when you smile at the customer, writing his name on the cup and passing it to your co-workers. 

When the man moves aside and you turn your focus on Tao, for whatever reason, his intuition tells him to notice. Maybe it’s an illusion, but today feels different. You feel different. 

‘Hi, welcome to Starbucks. What can I get you?’ 

He opens his mouth, unsure what to say. For a long beat he simply observes you. The little hearts drawn around your name on your name tag. He rolls it around in his mind, matching your face with the word, almost saying it aloud. A dangerous proposition. A door he should leave shut. 

Someone coughs behind him and he shakes his head, stepping forward. ‘Just a big Americano please. As big as possible.’ His voice is thick and his throat dry. One day he’ll remember to drink a glass of water before bed after getting drunk.

You nod, reaching to the stack of cups. ‘A grande?’

He swallows to wet his throat. ‘Sure.’ 

‘Name?’ 

With a deep inhale he smells last night’s cologne still clinging to his skin. God he needs to get his shit together, he thinks with a sigh. His general state of dishevelment is even more noticeable next to you. He wonders if you ironed the collar of your shirt to be that precise or if you simply move through the world without acquiring any wrinkles. 

‘Zitao,’ he says finally. 

‘Cute.’ You say it under your breath but he still hears. His eyes go wide, his sluggish mind coming awake. After handing the cup to your co-worker you say the total. ‘That’ll be four oh two please.’

Automatically he reaches into his pocket for his wallet and pulls out the five dollar bill. He knows he’s staring like an idiot but he can’t help it. You hand him his change and on reflex he drops it into the tip jar. Service industry solidarity, he thinks with a half-smile.

The smile on your face blossoms; tentative at first, it grows when his eyes meet yours again. ‘Thank you!’ You pull a small coffee can out from beside the register and hold it out to him. ‘Anyone who tips gets a poem.’ 

He stares at the can and the slips of paper neatly folded within. Amusement fills him and he reaches for one at random, his fingers brushing yours as he pulls back. The sensation makes him want to linger. How long has it been since he touched someone, in the daylight? Since he wanted to hold and be held? Tao tells himself it doesn’t matter. It can’t. He’s got plans to leave Seattle and he doesn’t need anything tethering him here.

Before he embarasses himself he slides the paper into his pocket with a nod and moves on down the line. As he waits for his drink he keeps his focus on you. The efficiency of your motions and the genuine happiness on your face as you take order after order on the busy Friday morning. People come and go around him but he leans against the wall, waiting, thinking. 

Finally his drink is done and the cup spreads heat along his chilled palms. The world is too sharp and demanding and the thought of a day full of errands on too little sleep followed by a full shift at the bar drags at him. But the smell of coffee and your smile and the mystery poem in his pocket are life preservers thrown to him today. He clings to them with both hands to keep himself afloat. 

On his way out he finally reads the poem you’ve gifted to him. The writing is done with small, neat lettering and he knows it’s yours. 

There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.

There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.

You feel it, don’t you?

- Rumi

With a groan he pushes out the door with his shoulder, blinking on the too-bright sidewalk. It’s too early to feel so raw and exposed, he decides. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday July 18, 1997

You trail into Flanagan’s Pub after Baekhyun and your sister, Hitchcock. It’s not her real name, but she’s had the nickname so long it might as well be. As always, they argue about movies. As always, you’re the third wheel. Not that they’re actually dating. But everyone agrees they should. 

‘Come on, it was brilliant.’ Baekhyun waves his hands dramatically as you wind your way around the crowded bar after them. 

‘I’m not saying it wasn’t,’ she responds. They slide into a booth opposite each other and you follow after your sister. ‘All I’m saying is it’s unrealistic, that’s all.’

Baekhyun scoffs, offended. ‘As if realism was the point here.’ You unfold the drink menu while he carries on, undeterred. ‘I know you’re not a hopeless romantic like myself, but are you honestly telling me that you don’t think it’s possible?’ 

Tonight’s Friday-movie-night tradition was your first viewing of The Fifth Element and Korben and Leeloo’s instant connection has revived their years-long argument about love at first sight. You roll your eyes when your sister shakes her head, leaning forward to tease him. She’s told you about her crush on Baekhyun, her best friend. For someone who’s been in love for as long as you can remember she fights awfully hard against Baekhyun’s romantic nature. Methinks the lady doth protest too much…

‘Look at Before Sunrise,’ Baekhyun says with a click of his tongue. ‘One night and they fell in love.’

She hums and scans the menu. ‘So what? It’s just one night. Show me what happens ten years later. After they see each other with messy morning hair and when he leaves dishes in the sink or, I don’t know, when she bites her nails.’ Baekhyun huffs and she smothers a laugh. ‘Let’s see how that instant love does after it’s put to the test. I’m not saying it isn’t possible, I’m just saying one night doesn’t mean it will stand the test of time, that’s all.’ She folds her menu and rests her elbows on the table, looking incredibly smug. 

Baekhyun opens his mouth to argue but the server arrives and interrupts his tirade. ‘What can I get for you?’ 

The gravelly voice is familiar and your eyes widen in surprise when you see Tao towering over the table. Quickly you look away, back to the dark wood table. 

You’ve noticed him before - at Starbucks, at parties at Baek’s from a distance, at Moe’s ages ago - but tonight he’s so cleaned up you hardly recognize him. Gone are the bags under his eyes and the nervous, jittery, curmudgeon energy that seemed to hang over him like a dark cloud. Tonight his eyes are alert and crinkle at the corner when he smiles broadly and you can’t help but notice. A very bad idea. 

‘Hey man, how’s it going?’ Baekhyun reaches out and does a complex handshake with the man before you. 

‘Oh, you know. Just working at the salt mines,’ Tao says with a laugh. ‘Are you coming to Chan and Soo’s party tomorrow night?’ 

‘You know it. I wouldn’t miss your big send off. My man here is taking off on a national tour on Sunday. Local boy making it big!’ Baekhyun gives Tao a friendly punch on the arm before drumming his fingers on the table and raising a brow. ‘Since you’re here, maybe you can settle an argument for us.’ 

Tao darts a look to you and clears his throat. ‘Sure thing. Lay it on me.’

‘Do you believe you can fall in love with someone in one night?’ Baekhyun waggles his brows at your sister and she groans. ‘Like, soulmates burning-down-the world you’re the person I’ve waited for always Blockbuster kind of love.’ 

He tilts his head to the side, considering. After a moment he shrugs. ‘I’m not sure.’ For a flash Tao’s eyes linger on you once more. ‘I think it would depend on the person.’ And then the bastard goes and winks at you. 

Baekhyun snorts and lounges back in the booth, resting his arm on the back of the seat. 'Good luck, buddy. You'd have better luck charming a brick wall. She only reads about love these days, Double Shot here is a bit gun-shy at putting it into practice again.’

You glare at Baekhyun, body going rigid at being called out. For as long as he's been your sister's best friend he's acted like a surrogate older brother to you. He vacillates between telling you it’s good you’re so focused on your studies and telling you that you're too serious, too focused on school and work. Since you got broken up with Baekhyun seems focused on the latter, always needling you to go out and have fun. But, as they say, once burned twice shy. 

You focus intently on your hands resting on the table and absolutely avoid looking at Tao. From the first time you rang him up at Starbucks you knew his gaze would see more than you'd like. He's the type to see through every bullshit line you give about how you’re fine being alone, fine with how things ended, fine fine fine. 

If life was kind the three of you would order and Tao would leave and that would be the end of it. You could safely stay in your cocoon and hide. But of course, life doesn't play fair. 

Tao sticks the pen behind his ear and folds his arms. ‘Is that a bet?’

Your cheeks warm and your heart races. Finally, you look up to him fully. 'Excuse me?' 

He shrugs and gives you a lopsided smile. 'If you're game, of course. What do you say, shall we put this to the test?' 

'You want to see if we'd fall in love in a night?' You're certain you look like a terrified animal. In a vain attempt to fold yourself back into someone confident you lean against the booth, pressing your feet to the ground and making your spine tall and straight. 'What makes you think you're even my type?'

‘Sweetheart, I’m everyone’s type.’ 

God knows he probably is. Tall, handsome bad boy who sings like an angel, drives a stupidly hot motorcycle, and looks like he knows the fastest way to make you come undone with just a look. But charming is only skin deep and in return you want to see if there’s anything underneath it that would keep your interest. 

‘Fine, then.’ You hold out your hand. ‘I’ll take your bet.’ Stubborn, always so stubborn. Baekhyun giggles and claps excitedly as you grip Tao’s rough, much larger hand.  

Your sister leans across you to stare Tao down. 'Hang on. I'm not about to let her go off with some random dude. How do we know you're trustworthy?' Hitchcock has turned her interrogation mode on. ‘I’ve seen you around, but I don’t know you from Bruce Willis.’

He must have other tables to attend to, other things to do, but he rests his palms on the table and leans down to meet her glare. 'I'm an open book. Ask me anything.' The move brings him inches from you. He smells like whisky, the kind that burns, and you swallow instinctively in response. 

She narrows her eyes and hums. 'How old are you?' 

'Twenty three.' 

'Did you go to school?' 

He chuckles. 'High school. No need for college.'

'Why not?' You speak up, preparing for an argument. He looks like he could actually keep up with you and a spark of excitement grows low in your body.

'Between singing and bartending I make plenty of money.’ He answers you, not your sister. ‘Don't get me wrong, I respect an education. But I get far more inspiration from living life than from just reading about it.' 

You bristle. As a poetry major this feels like a personal attack. ‘Are you telling me you’ve never read anything that made you feel - I don’t know - inspired. Magical. Exposed?' You press your lips together, wishing you could gather the words back. 

Tao looks at you through his lashes, bending close enough that you can feel his breath on your lips when he speaks. ‘Words are just the appetizer, darling. I prefer to have an entire feast.’ 

His dancing eyes dart down to your lips. But then he straightens, pulling the pen out and readying it on the pad. You grip the table to avoid swaying towards him and almost hate him for how much of a magnetic pull he seems to have over you. 'Any other questions or can I grab your orders?'

Baekhyun orders a Smirnoff Ice, delight pouring off him. Your sister narrows her eyes at Tao for a moment. Finally, she relents and orders a sex on the beach. You stare at the red plaid shirt tied around Tao’s hips and order something. An Appletini maybe? Your mind seems to have abandoned you but thankfully Tao nods and winds his way back through the crowd to the bar. In his absence you can breathe fully and look up to see Baekhyun smirking. 

‘What?’ you practically groan at him. 

‘Oh, nothing.’ He looks like the cat that caught the canary. ‘I just love being right.’ 

Hitchcock kicks him under the table and he winces, reaching for his shin. They resume their discussion, transitioning to talking about their opening shifts at the theater tomorrow and how much they can reasonably drink tonight and still be functional in the morning. You drum your nails on the lacquered wood table and wonder if your heart is racing from the heat of the packed bar or from the prospect of Tao holding you to your bargain. 

The man himself comes back with drinks a moment later. When he slides the light green concoction across the table to you he tilts his head in question. ‘So, how about tonight?’ 

You choke on your sip and fight the burn in your throat. ‘Are you serious? So soon?’

He grins. ‘Why, did you want time to get ready? I think if we’re going to put it to the test it would have to be tonight. Also, I leave on Sunday morning, so the clock is ticking so to speak.’ 

‘But I work tomorrow at Starbucks. At the crack of dawn.’ You sputter, waving your hand in front of you. ‘I didn’t think you-’

‘Guess we should get started soon, then.' He winks again and you're tempted to throw your drink at him, just to get the upper hand. ‘I get off at nine.’ Without another word he puts the serving tray under his arm and leaves.

Your sister rolls her eyes. ‘You’re such a bad influence, Baek.’ 

He throws his arms out wide. ‘I can’t help it baby, I’m a lover. What can I say?’ 

She snorts and pats you on the back sympathetically. You down your drink in two swallows and absolutely refuse to look at Tao, Baekhyun, or your sister. Instead you pull some bills from your purse and push your way out of the bar before anyone can suggest anything else insane. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It takes you several tries to find a presentable outfit. It's been more than six months since that last fateful date and in the time between you’ve built a literal barrier around yourself, bundling up in sweaters and blankets at home, only emerging for work and class and Friday movie nights. 

Baekhyun's words come back to you as you frown and throw yet another outfit on the bed. Are you really a brick wall, impenetrable and cold? You weren't always, surely. Byron's 'and thus, the heart will break, yet brokenly live on' swims in your mind, still fresh from the finals you took just a few weeks ago. 

You don't feel broken, just stuck. Numb. Waiting. You hold a dress up to your body and wonder if your ex feels the same or if he, as the one who did the dumping, moved on instantly, and it's just the broken-up-with half that flails around trying to find new footing.

With an defiant press of your lips you sigh and settle on your favorite black and white checkered dress and white Keds. It’s a declaration of intent in a peter pan collar. Your ex always hated your clothes, what you chose to study, your music; everything about you screamed soft and he tried so hard to bend and form you into someone he wanted. 

But you are as you are - romantic and idealistic and sweet. You roll your eyes. It’s the truth, and you remind yourself that just because you didn’t match him doesn’t mean you have to change just to make someone else happy. The outfit screams innocence it dares Tao to judge you tonight. As if you care what he thinks. Which you definitely do not. 

You barely make it back in time to Flanagan’s. When you rush up Tao is pushing out of the bar onto the street. A thrill runs down your spine at his smile when he sees you. Your ex doesn't control you anymore, you remind yourself. You get to decide when you move on; when you stop mourning something that's dead and over and find something new. Even if it's not with Tao, tonight is an experiment. To see if you can handle a fresh start.

‘Hi,’ you start, breathless from your hurrying. 

'Hi yourself. You still game?' he asks, mischief in his eyes and hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. 'If you want an out I won't hold it against you.' He looks you up and down and smirks, but doesn’t comment on your appearance.

In return you scan him as well. His hair is mussed just-so and his earrings match too well to be an accident. He’s trying too, even if his devil-may-care attitude would make others think he’s not. Everyone has an image they present to the world, tonight you’ll find if there’s substance behind Tao’s.

You press your tongue between your teeth and tilt your head at him. 'I'm ready to be surprised.' 

He barks out a laugh. ‘Fair enough. I’ll see what I can do’ 

Tao starts to move towards you across the sidewalk, but you hold out a hand at the level of his chest, stopping his movement. 'So, love, huh? There's not some girlfriend or boyfriend of yours waiting for you at home?'

‘I belong only to myself. For now, at least.' He smiles and holds his arms out wide. His brows tug together suddenly. For a moment he looks unsure. Vulnerable. But the look is gone so fast you wonder if you imagined it. ‘What about you?’ 

You want to fold in on yourself and turn away, hiding. As if the stain of failure is written across your face. The words that were thrown your way like scarlet letters on your skin for him to see. Prude. Uptight. Tease. Your stomach churns and you’re glad you only had the one drink tonight. 

‘Single.’ You suck in a breath after you get the word out, like it stole all the air from your lungs in speaking it. 

He nods, holding your gaze for a moment. Those eyes of his drink you in and you’re sure he can see it - the hesitation and the fear. But once more he simply stands tall and gives you space to think. ‘Shall we head towards the waterfront?’ 

A public place, lively and full of people on a Friday night. Safe, reassuring. He didn’t suggest a club or somewhere heavy with expectation and you like him better for it. Tao waves an arm out in front of you, inviting you to go first and you start walking, clutching your purse under your arm. 

He falls into step beside you. 'So I guess if we're going big or going home, shall we start with our dating history?'

You should have expected this level of inquisition, especially from someone who is friends with Baekhyun. ‘Jesus, you don’t pull any punches.’ But against your will you let out a laugh. 

There’s something refreshing about someone who seems like, for all his mystery, he doesn’t hold any secrets. Everything out in the cool night air and you wonder if it would be freeing, to let it all go. To not question the words you say. To trust that the person you’re speaking them to will hold them without judgement.

‘Never have, never will,’ he reassures you. The cat-like grin on his lips is teasing. ‘That I can guarantee you. I’m happy to go first, if you’d like?’

You nod, and he sighs, looking through the clouds to the moon that peeks through. The streets are dry for once, a brief respite after the wet Seattle spring. Everyone around you takes in the night with gleeful laughter, on the search for music and connection and entertainment. But even with the full sidewalks around you all you feel compelled to do, inexplicably, is lean in closer to hear Tao. 

A group of women brush by you, giggling, forcing you into Tao to avoid them. On instinct he reaches out an arm to keep you both from being overrun. You turn into him and end up meeting his eyes. In the night they’re so dark they look almost black, with flashes of light from passing cars.

The moment stretches around you and irrationally you want to stop him before he says anything else. No stories of the people he’s been with or kissed or loved or wrote songs about. Maybe that’s the appeal of one night love stories, you think. The beginning of love is always a lightning bolt. If that’s all it ever is you never have to deal with being knocked on your ass by the resulting thunderstorm. 

The women pass and Tao respectfully brings his hand back to his pocket and time carries on. But the look on his face remains as you both start walking towards the Market again. 

‘I should say up front, I uhh - I guess that I’ve never been in a relationship. Actually.’ He runs a hand through his hair and winces like he’s ashamed of it. ‘I came close a few times. But it’s just never worked out.’ 

You open your mouth but aren’t sure what to say. Do you make fun of him for clearly being a playboy, not wanting to be tied down, fitting the stereotype of the rockstar he’s on a path to becoming? Do you play coy, asking him if you might fit the bill? Or do you reassure him? 

The latter feels the most natural. ‘You’re young. It’s the nineties. I don’t think it’s unusual to be playing the field right now.’ You lift a shoulder and shrug, the edge of your black denim jacket slipping down your back a bit with the motion. It exposes the skin of your collarbone above the strap of your dress, where your neck meets your chest. 

Tao licks his lips and drags his eyes away from your shoulder to meet yours with a nod. ‘That’s true. I guess most of my friends are single. Sehun is. Jongin is. Baekhyun is, for sure. Even if he is in love with your sister.’ Your jaw drops and Tao bites his lip. ‘Shit, I shouldn’t have said anything. Please don’t tell her I -’ 

He looks genuinely panicked and you laugh, waving a hand. ‘Trust me, she’s in love with him too. They’re both too stubborn to admit it though. So your secret is safe with me.’ 

Tao sighs, relaxing, and gives you a half smile. ‘Thank you, I appreciate that.’ The neon lights from the bars and clubs along Pike street pass over his face, painting him dozens of bright colors. ‘So, that’s my story. Too busy working and writing lyrics and singing to be tied down. What’s yours?’ 

‘That’s hardly a story,’ you challenge, raising a brow. ‘More like the cover of a book.’

‘It’s plenty!’ he laughs. ‘I’ve exposed myself as a perpetually single man. I think that tells you tons about me.’ At your pursed lips he continues. ‘Fine. I’ve been chasing music for so long that I have avoided getting serious with anyone, lest it keep me from my dreams of stardom. I crave that intensity between me and an audience when I sing, but I’m afraid to let myself have something real. Something intimate, that expects more of me past one performance. I’m afraid that off-stage I’m more disappointing than on et cetera et cetera.’ 

He cuts off his rambling monologue, his eyes widening as he stops in his tracks for a moment, like he can’t believe he just said so much. But you stand next to him without judgement. Something about his disarming honesty and expressiveness makes you want to tell him the truth, ugly that it might be. 

While you stand on the corner and wait for the light to change you look at the zipper of his leather jacket to avoid his eyes and spit it out. ‘I got dumped six months ago.’ You lift your hands and drop them uselessly to your side. 

He tilts his head back in appraisal. Blessedly the teasing is gone from his face. He doesn’t offer sympathy, cloying and patronizing words about how you’ll find someone else. He doesn’t flirt with you, even though that seems to be his nature. 

‘I don’t know the circumstances, and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but all I can say is - it’s his loss.’ He gives you a slight smile, not moving even when the light changes, and you can’t help but return it. 

It’s strange that it could be so simple. Perhaps if you do carry on something with Tao you’ll tell him more. But for tonight it can be that easy. The pain and doubt and shame can fade into a pinprick of light heading off into the distance and get swallowed up by the night. Like you can just wipe the slate clean and start over. You inhale a deep breath of cool, salty air and look up at Tao, your smile growing, becoming more genuine and whole. 

A lightness fills you and you wind your arm through his, pulling him into the crosswalk just as the last few seconds show on the countdown. He lets you guide him easily and you come to rest on the concrete looking down at the Pike Place Market. The bright neon red sign reflects against the dark night and the inky blue waters of the Bay beyond it. In the twilight ships move back and forth through the port, full of tiny lights of their own. 

He drops his hand a little, running over the clothed skin of your arm until he reaches your palm. The contact of his hand on yours makes you jolt. ‘Is this okay?’

Without thinking you nod, twining your fingers with his, savoring the heat as he presses against you. Your ex hated holding hands in public, hated any kind of PDA, calling it childish. But Tao stands by your side, hand in hand, as though it’s the most natural thing in the world.

People mill about you, heading to the endless restaurants and food stands that line the Market. In summer it’s in full bloom, crowded every night, and after a long winter and spring holed up in your apartment it’s disorienting to be out in the world again.

You start walking together, without a plan. It’s far more comfortable than you’d expected, the companionable silence with him. Everyone in your life talks a mile a minute - Baekhyun and your sister, your co-workers at the busy coffee shop, your classmates, hungry for discussion - but Tao seems content to just hold your hand and admire the rows of vendors you pass. The lack of pressure from him eases something that had drawn tight and anxious in your chest over the last few months. 

Before you is a maze of stalls. Tables full of tulips in bright yellows and pinks, bouquets wrapped in brown paper, that you stop to smell. Screen printed tee shirts with the Sonics logo or photos of the Space Needle or trendy political puns that Tao points out with a laugh. People sell everything from watercolor paintings to homemade honey to snow globes. As a recent college grad, you’re saving all your money, but everything is still fascinating to look at. 

The two of you settle on a kebab place for dinner after a long debate about the merits of the taco cart and the hole-in-the-wall seafood stop. The steam brings the rich smell of meat and vegetables to you. Against your protests to split the bill, Tao insists on buying dinner. 

‘If this is an official date I have to follow the guidelines,’ he winks. 

You roll your eyes and defiantly go to the next stall to order two Jones sodas from the seller. When you hold them up he laughs and inclines his head. ‘Alright, that’s fair.’ 

When you’re settled on the narrow rock wall beyond the far edge of the market, balancing Jones sodas on the uneven stones with a warm kebab resting on your knees, he carries on. 

'So, poetry. What made you choose that?' He asks around a bite.

After a sip of soda you tilt your head at him. ‘You can't laugh, okay?'

'Why would I laugh?’ His brows furrow like it’s the furthest thing from his mind. ‘I'm a singer, sweetheart. I don't take the arts lightly and anyone who does is an asshole.' He narrows his eyes at you in mock seriousness but the way his mouth fights a smile is endearing.

You snort, liking him yet again without planning on it. ‘I don’t know. I’ve always loved it and sometimes I try to write it. I’ve had some job or another since high school, so I’m confident I can always get a job if I need it but - there’s something so - so delicious about poetry.’ You swallow another drink of your soda and Tao’s eyes flick to the motion of your throat. ‘If I was going to go to college, and our parents kind of insisted on it, I wanted to study something I loved.’

Tao lifts his own soda and clinks it to yours in solidarity. ‘I can respect that. What’s your favorite poem?’

Suddenly shy you turn to set your soda down on the stone beside you, letting your hair fall over your face while you think. It’s not that you don’t know, but that it feels too close, too personal to tell him just yet. ‘That’s very private.’

When you look back to him he holds your gaze for a moment. ‘Hmm. Okay I can respect that. Favorite songs are pretty personal too so I’ll let you hold onto it, for now.’ With a movement as casual as breathing he tucks your hair behind your ear, as though he does it twenty times day, and resumes his eating. 

Poems run through your head as you chew, heart racing. You’d thought this was an experiment that would quickly go south. A quick walk to prove that you’re not compatible. A smug ‘I told you so’ to Baekhyun. And then a return to the comfort of your bed to read for the night. You didn’t expect to want him. Words, endless remembered words filter across your consciousness, ones of love and lust and death and the exhilaration of life. 

Normally your own creative voice is quiet, too afraid to give permanence to the ideas, the words, that live inside you. But as you watch the gentle night breeze ruffle his dark hair you think you could write some tonight, if you had pen and paper. Instead you shove an enormous bite in your mouth and chew, afraid of the attraction you have to him. 

When you’re both done eating he holds his hand out for your trash and you wad up the wrapper and hand it to him along with the empty bottle. He walks over to the trash and dutifully puts the bottles in the recycle, like any good Seattle boy. Dusting off his hands he turns back towards you, approaching slowly and holding out his hands. 

After a moment’s hesitation you reach for him, allowing him to help you stand. Continuing the night’s adventure. When you’re on your feet he releases one of your hands, keeping the other one tucked in his as the two of you wind your way back through the crowds. Both of you stop to pat the bronze pig at the crux of the Market for good luck.

He leads the way down the narrow stairs to Post Alley and the line outside the comedy club at its base winds around in a long chain. It’s funny, normally you’d want to know The Plan. Baekhyun calls you anal retentive, but you just consider yourself organized. You like knowing what’s coming. But tonight you consent to following him without knowing the destination. You bite back a smile - it’s exciting and terrifying all at once.

A group of people tries to come up the stairs as you’re going down and you are pressed against the rail, trying not to slip. It definitely isn’t meant to be wide enough for both directions of people at the same time. As if sensing your predicament Tao presses his broad back into the rowdy man behind you, ignoring his grumbles of annoyance, making space so you can descend the last few steps onto the courtyard. 

Out front of the Market Theater you thank him and wonder what exactly his plan is. Is he taking you to an improv show? A concert? Drinks? With your hand still in his he gently moves to the left, under the archway and in front of the long gum wall. You raise a brow at him but he merely smiles and shrugs. 

‘I didn’t peg you for someone who likes tourist attractions.’ 

His eyes dance with amusement. ‘Oh yeah? What kind of person did you imagine me to be?’ 

You purse your lips and try to figure out how to answer him. ‘I’m not sure, actually. Normally I can read people pretty easily, but I can’t pin you down.’ 

‘Me?’ He presses his hand that holds yours to his chest. ‘Baby, I’m an open book.’

The gum wall around you smells sickly sweet and you can almost taste it on your tongue. Everyone around you is taking polaroids in front of the wall or chewing their own gum in preparation to add to it. 

You wonder what the two of you look like from an outsider’s perspective. Tao, tall and imposing with his thick motorcycle boots. You with your white Keds and sweet, checkered dress and headband. It might seem like you’re an odd couple, but the heartbeat in his chest against your hand is strong and underneath it all perhaps you’re not so different. 

With a breathy laugh and a roll of your eyes you grip his hand and pull him further along the alley beside the gum walls, towards the water. Nearby one of the many buskers permitted to perform along Pike Place starts signing a loud and heartfelt, if slightly off-key, rendition of ‘Sweet Caroline,’ drawing the cheers of the onlookers. 

Away from the crowd in Post Alley you emerge onto a side street a block or so from the water. Tilting your head back you watch as everyone sings along. Tao’s free arm suddenly comes around your waist and dramatically he starts swaying you back and forth, crooning along to the Neil Diamond song far better than the busker. A few other people on the street around you smile or laugh, making their way to the pier up ahead. 

Instead of asking him what on earth he’s doing or feeling embarrassed about dancing in the middle of the sidewalk you just cling to him and try to keep up. His voice is rich and soothing, his hand holding you against him is sturdy and comforting. You can’t help but giggle and roll with it, holding onto his jacket and watching his jaw move as he sings. 

All too soon the performance back at the Market behind you ends and the last lyrics are drowned out by applause. Tao takes a step back and the night is cold without his warm embrace. You long to step forward and close the distance once more. Instead you brush your hair back and compose yourself. 

‘What kind of music do you like to sing?’ you ask as the two of you resume your progress towards the pier. 

‘All kinds.’ He shrugs. ‘But mostly love songs.’ 

‘Really?’ The light before you changes and ahead the aquarium looms in the night. To your left is the Kingdome waits, past the long stretch of the boardwalk. Without waiting for Tao you head that direction, the briny ocean air filling your lungs. 

He easily comes to your side. ‘Of course. Everything’s about love I think, when you get down to it.’ 

‘You weren’t singing love songs when I saw you perform.’ 

You answer without thinking, remembering the concert a few months ago that you and your sister went to. Baekhyun had invited you both to see Chanyeol’s band - Yeol and the Salty Wolves - and Tao was performing with the opening group. 

‘You’ve seen me on stage?’ His proud grin is teasing and playful and damned if you don’t want to kiss him. 

‘Yeah. It - my sister dragged me out of the house. She thought getting outside would do me some good.’ You focus on picking off a section of your pink nail polish that’s started to chip. ‘You guys were great. But you were definitely yelling about anarchy, not love.’ 

The imagine of him in his tank top, wide slits cut under the arms revealing a broad swath of his tanned skin, singing passionately, makes you suddenly very aware of him. Tonight he’s composed, a rebel in street clothes. But that night his face was slicked with sweat from his intensity, red in the cheeks and headbanging along with the crowd and the rest of the band. Even that night, so close after your recent break up, you wanted him. It was a dangerous idea then and it’s a dangerous idea now. 

He hums and veers to the right, heading down one of the longer piers. ‘I could argue that anarchy still is love. Love of your beliefs and love of a person or a place or a thing so much that you’re willing to fight for it, to go to war for what you care about.’ 

To that you don’t argue. ‘That’s true. I guess anything could be love when you get down to it. There’s so many poems about sadness - missing love or rejected love. Anger. Bitterness.’ 

The wooden boards of the pier below you give a gentle thunk with each heavy step of Tao’s huge boots. Below you the water sloshes against the planks. Now at the end you lean forward, resting your elbows on the railing, before turning back to Tao. 

‘I guess this is a day to be debating love,’ you smirk, thinking back to the conversation that got you into this. In the wind off the Bay you shiver. 

Like a reflex Tao shrugs out of his jacket and holds it out to you. But you lean over and wave your hand at him. ‘No it’s okay, I’m fine. Please, you don’t have to -’ 

But he drops it over you anyways, the warm weight of his jacket settling on your shoulders and insulating you from the wind. In his black, long-sleeve shirt he doesn’t even seem cold. With a sigh you pull it more fully onto you and bend upright again, inches from him. 

‘Debating love indeed. See I think love and intimacy is made far too complex by a lot of people.’ He slowly rubs his hands together, forearms resting on the railing as he leans over, looking at the waves. ‘I think it comes from knowing someone. Really knowing them. Hopes and fears and memories and all of that. and choosing to be with them. Simple and complicated as that.’

‘Simple as that?’ you gape at him, holding your wind-tousled hair out of the way with one hand so you can look at him. ‘There's no way to truly know someone in one night, though. There's too much nuance for love in such a short time.’ The beating of your heart in your palms when you look at him would argue otherwise and you inhale deeply, trying to keep your center. 

‘Hence why I also said complicated. But now we’re debating what love itself means.’ His gaze darts down to your lips before he meets your eyes. ‘I know plenty about you.’ 

You open your mouth to argue but he carries on. ‘I know you’re stubborn, given the soda earlier and the coat just now. I know you’re practical and competent - I’ve seen you at your job. I know you’re a romantic at heart, you have to be to study poetry, and even if some asshole temporarily doused that fire you look for evidence that love is real everywhere.’ 

Feeling raw and exposed you try to find anything to say to brush off the way his statements cut to the heart of you. ‘That doesn’t mean you - uhm - that you know me.’ 

The word you almost said in your haste was love and the thought makes your palms sweat. Irrational. Impossible. Everyone always says your emotions are easy to read, that they’re written all over your face, and you wonder what he sees as he watches you. The moment you said it you could see the slow smile start on his lips. At the very least he knows you’re not arguing with him as much as arguing with yourself, against what you feel. 

He leans in closer so that his forehead touches yours, low voice almost a murmur. ‘But I want to know you more. I want to do a lot of things. Does that count?’ 

‘Count?’ If you wanted to you could press up on your toes and kiss him. The thought is intoxicating and you close your eyes, heaving a breath into your lungs. 

After a long moment of thinking and waiting and wondering you finally open them again. Tao looks just as conflicted as you are - his brows tug together and the casual flirtation is gone. He holds himself still before you and something far more serious crosses his face. Though he doesn’t answer with words the look in his eyes telegraphs his feelings for you. 

With a sigh he pulls back, reaching to the railing with both hands to steady himself, and you sway in his absence. He looks up at the night sky, at the moon through the clouds, and smiles. The stars peek through here and there. It’s not a cold night, just a breeze across the water to relieve the heat from the long summer day. Distantly a line of poetry comes to you, about being thirsty, parched almost, and wanting to drink him in to quench it. 

Rather than indulge the dangerous impulse to touch him again you take off back down the boardwalk. Back to the city and the lights and far away from the closeness of being with him in the dark. The pressure of his thick jacket will have to be enough, for now. 

‘So, where do you want to go next?’ You’re impressed you manage to sound steady. 

He sticks his hands in his pockets once more and ambles after you, a small smile gracing his lips. ‘I know a place.’ 

As you make your way along the waterfront he turns the conversation to safer territory. You fill each other in on your jobs - how they started and what you like and don’t like. Co-workers who are dating, friends you have in common at the mall. Notorious customers. Tao has dozens of stories and his laugh is easy, his eyes bright with flirtation now that you’re both on safer ground. 

Through the night you meander around the city in a vague Northward direction. Past the Science Center, it’s great white sculptures lit up. Around the Space Needle and the fountain. Another city and the streets would be deserted this late. But here there’s groups of people, laughing and splashing each other at the base of the enormous bowl that forms the center of it. You pass the occasional jogger or couple holding hands, walking home. 

The two of you stop to use the restroom and get a drink of water at a 24 hour grocery store. Tao also insists on buying some snacks, chocolate and a bag of chips that you keep in the large pockets of his jacket as you progress to the edges of Lake Union. 

It’s easy, being with him. His energy is calm, reassuring. He’s got a wicked and witty sense of humor you wouldn’t have expected and you easily spend half an hour looking out at the boats, making up other, naughtier names for them. 

It turns out he likes X-Files just as much as you and your sister do. As you stroll along the Fremont bridge you end up taking his hand once more. The snacks are gone and you can’t resist touching him again. It must be well after midnight, but he doesn’t mention going home. Strangely, you don’t want to either. For someone who’s life has become so habitual you’re surprized you’ve not even spared a thought for your nightly routine of reading in bed with a glass of wine and a candle burning on the windowsill. 

There will be other nights for that, but for tonight you let the momentum of the evening carry you along with him. You both decide to skip a visit to the Troll, not wanting to tempt any disasters. The Keds on your feet hold up well and you give a thanks to your past self for not wearing heels or sandals. 

Eventually his destination becomes clear. The gates to the park are closed for the night. ‘Gas Works? This is your plan - breaking and entering?’ 

He nods, biting his lip. ‘Yep. I know a way in. The nighttime view is unbeatable.’ 

You hold out your hands, gesturing to the enormous PARK HOURS: DAWN TIL DUSK sign. 

‘Afraid of being caught?’ 

You roll your eyes. ‘Yes, actually. I don’t think getting arrested for trespassing would be a great thing for my resume.’ 

Tao considers before backing towards the edge of the fence with a smirk. ‘Come on. How about a little mischief here ‘upon the honey’d middle of the night’?’

‘You know Keats?’ It leaves you breathless, rooted to the ground. It’s not from your favorite poem, but he is your favorite poet. A good guess or has he been doing his research? 

‘Of course. Don’t you?’ Tao teases, folding back a corner of the fence and easing himself through. 

You scoff and charge after him. The smug bastard can’t just quote Keats and then run away from you. Once again you want to kiss the proud look off his face, to rattle him the way he seems so capable of rattling you, getting underneath your surface. With a last thought to your reputation you step through after him and a thrill runs down your spine. 

The rusted red containers and machines that form the center of the park are tall ghosts in the night, rising from the grass and casting long shadows around you in the distant light from the city. He holds out his hand and you easily catch it, both of you winding your way carefully around the gentle hills to make your way to the view. 

You find a suitable spot and sit down on the grass. ‘You’re right,’ you tell him reluctantly. 

‘About what?’ Tao sits beside you, linking his hands over his knees. He sits near enough you can feel his thigh pressing against yours. Close, always so close, but not as close as you want him.  

‘About this.’ You gesture to the Seattle skyline in front of you. 

Sure you’ve been in the daytime, watching the boats sail on Lake Union and the groups of yoga practitioners and families with young kids fill the grassy slopes down to the water. But by night the lights of the city look like a painting. Skyscrapers touching the clouds as the first hints of sun are lightening the horizon. 

‘I thought you’d enjoy it.’ He nudges you with his shoulder and smiles at you. 

The gentle sounds of the water below is relaxing. Even as you lift your hand to cover a yawn you don’t truly feel tired, like the night and closeness to him could keep you awake forever, if you let them. But even so, dawn is coming and you think back to the reason that you’re both here. 

‘So. About that bet?’ Your words are a sigh and somewhere between the late hours and the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles you don’t second guess the question. 

He side eyes you and can’t smother the grin on his face. ‘You mean the one about if we can fall in love in one night?’ 

‘Yes, that.’ It must be the lack of sleep causing the giddiness you feel, you tell yourself, as you lean back against the grass and cover your face with your hands. 

His own hands find yours and you turn to see him on his side next to you. Gently he pulls them down, holding them to his chest, so he can look you in the eyes. ‘Hmm, I don’t know about love, but I feel a whole hell of a lot right now. We never came up with an objective definition of it, anyways.’ 

You snort. ‘Did you honestly just say ‘objective definition?’’ 

‘Yes, I think if we’re going to agree here, we need to be on the same page.’ With his intense focus on yours he brushes a kiss against the backs of your hands. ‘If we say love is a feeling, who’s to say that we aren’t in love? If we decide it’s an action then which one is it? A kiss or a commitment or - maybe it’s nothing more complicated than putting words to the way I feel when you look at me?’ 

The smile blooms across your face and right then you’re tempted to say it’s all of them. How much you want his mouth on yours and his hands all over you. How you’re not quite sure you know how to have a relationship with a man anymore, after your ex, but that you want to try with him. How wild and free you feel being next to him. 

‘I don’t know about -’ you whisper. You let the truth fall out, not bothering to think about what it might mean. ‘Long term or after tonight. But I’d say, much that I hate to admit Baekhyun could be right, I’d say… uhm, he could be right.’

You avoid Tao’s eyes, focusing on his jaw or the fabric of his shirt or the way his hands hold yours. But still you see how he smiles, almost glowing in the light of the moon and the barest reflection of the sun coloring the skyline to your left. 

He clears his throat, pressing another kiss to your hand. ‘Well, I'd look at it this way. Let's say we do get together. Maybe we last a month or maybe we last for the rest of our lives. Another fifty or sixty years. In either of those cases tonight would be just a fraction of the relationship. A small sliver. Important when looking at the broad view of a life together, but not crucial by itself.’

With a nod you look at him and the heat in his eyes makes you gasp. He moves over you, releasing your hands to brace himself on the ground behind your head. The sturdy press of his body reminds you this isn’t a movie or a dream, it’s something real that’s happening to you. The cool grass sinks into your dress at your back and brushes against your thighs. 

'Or.' His hot breath cascades across your lips. 'If all we have is tonight.' Moving himself to the side he runs his nose along your jaw, mouth teasing the skin of your neck with barely there kisses. 'One night would be everything. For all the marbles, as they say.' He pulls back and looks at you with a lopsided grin. 

You huff out a breath, blowing your bangs out of your eyes, absently running your hands across his shoulders, along his chest. 'I don't know. I like knowing there's always time for more. Like - what if I was tired tonight or hungry or cranky and I messed it up? The thought of just one night still makes me nervous.’ 

He kisses your forehead and the words come faster, as if hurried along by the morning. ‘If we're a forever thing, then it's okay, because there will be a thousand more chances to get it right. But just once? How can it be perfect if it's so brief?'

'Well, even if we do get together we'd still only have one first kiss.' He rests on one elbow and uses his free hand to cup your jaw, clearing his throat around the roughness of his voice. 'Do you want to wait or shall we attempt perfection tonight?'

The thought of waiting any longer makes you far sadder and you nod. ‘Screw it - kiss me. Please?’ 

Instead of answering he simply drops his head, closing the distance and sealing his mouth over yours. He groans at the contact, the sound vibrating in his chest where it rests against yours. You grip his neck, winding your fingers through the strands of his hair and hold on, to ground yourself, between him and the grass as he slowly, hungrily, kisses you.

Your eyes flutter for a moment as he sucks on your lower lip. Behind him the sky is bright, the rays of light spilling through the clouds and rendering him art himself. The arch of his brows, full of emotion. You squeeze your eyes closed and hold him tight, grazing his neck with your nails and sighing into his open mouth. Before you can kiss him again he pulls back, his cheeks flushed and his eyes full of delight. 

‘That was pretty damn good.’ He huffs out a laugh, running his tongue along his lower lip like he’s trying to keep the taste of you close. ‘Are you sure you want to risk another one? It could be -’

‘Yes,’ you answer immediately. ‘Again.’ 

He grins and buries his face in your neck, his hot breath falling on your sensitive skin. ‘I think we’ve found the crucial difference between us.’ At your hum he carries on. ‘I can take one moment and hold onto it forever, perpetually living off the way it felt. You want to have it over and over again. And here I thought you were the poet.’ 

Rolling onto his back he pulls you on top of him with a squeal as you right yourself, bracing hands on his shoulders for balance. His hand rests against your cheek. ‘But if it helps. I - feel the same way.’ 

‘Oh.’ To keep your surprise and delight from exploding all over your face you bite your lip. ‘Alright then.’ You trace patterns in the fabric covering his chest. 

It’s as simple and as complicated as that, just like he said, hours ago. 

As the day rises full and bright with the heat of the sun you do indeed kiss again. Several more times. When you’re both red lipped and thirsty and covered in wrinkled clothes you head back to your apartment by UW. He gives you a piggy back ride when your feet start to hurt and helps you make breakfast with a sleepy smile and runs his fingers over the covers of the numerous books stacked on every surface of your apartment and all the while the feeling in your chest grows, not diminishes. 

You hurry through a shower and getting dressed for work while he patiently waits on the couch. His eyes are closed when you emerge, putting your hair back in a ponytail. Leaning against the door frame you watch the gentle rise and fall of his chest. You stifle a yawn and think of how not twelve hours ago you didn’t know what his skin felt like beneath your palms or what he’d be like to kiss or how perfectly your bodies seem to line up.

Tomorrow, or perhaps later tonight, you’ll have to report back to Baekhyun and your sister. Though you still have no idea what you’ll say when he asks if the two of you fell in love in one night, you know that, at the very least, it was the start of something. 

You leave Tao a note with instructions to sleep as long as he wants and a spare copy of your keys. He works his own shift tonight at Flanagan’s at two, his last one before he leaves on tour. Reassured that at least you’ll see him once more tonight at the party, before he’s gone for - well, you suppose you didn’t ask the specifics yet. You laugh at the thought and quietly shut the door and sprint down the steps to work. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s hardly after nine in the morning when Tao arrives. Far earlier than you were expecting, but you’ve learned that he likes to surprise you. When you see him standing in line you bite your lip, tilting your head and giving him a sleepy smile. 

‘A bit early for you, isn’t it?’ You ask, friendly and professional. ‘You look like you had a long night.’

He laughs, shaking his head and resting his palms on the counter. ‘I did indeed. But it’s been over two hours since I last saw you.’ 

‘Oh yeah? Is that a long time, then?’ you tease him. 

He whistles and leans in to whisper so only you can hear. ‘Far too long for someone in love.’ 

‘Love?’ The word thunders in your chest.

‘Maybe it’s too soon to know,’ he says, not backing up at all. ‘Maybe love is confirmed by time. But what I feel, whatever this is the start of, I’m greatly looking forward to.’

‘Are you sure you want to start this? You’re leaving, like, tomorrow.’ Suddenly in the light of day the reality of the situation makes your stomach flip.

He clutches his chest dramatically. ‘Don’t sound so sad, love. Please. You say that like I won’t come back.’ He reaches for your hand across the counter. ‘At least we'll have tonight. Tonight or forever, right?’ 

‘Exactly.’ Unable to resist you lift your hand to hold his cheek and kiss him. It was killing you not to and why not? He’s right. If it’s just one more night, you’re going to make it count.

You pull back and fill out his cup, insisting it’s your treat. Before he leaves you hold out the jar of poems. When he reads the line he laughs, holding it out to you.

“And one by one the nights between our separated cities are joined to the night that unites us.”

― Pablo Neruda

[sinkix]

~ Haikyuu!! Boys baking with reader - Ft. Ushijima, Tendou, Oikawa, Hinata & Nishinoya ~

YO! SO UHHHH... I’M BACK??? I GUESS?? MAYBE??? After a little break I had this in my drafts for a while and realllyyy wanted to complete it since it’s such a cute concept. Honestly at this point my posting frequencies are so sporadic and random pls forgive me lmao.

@deathcab4daddy​ gave me the inspo to include Ushi and it was so funny coming up with ideas for him, he is no.1 country boi chef 

Dude I’m listening to the Mario Kart soundtrack ‘Coconut Mall’ while I continue writing this someone save me. Like u think I’m joking. UR WRONG.

Ushijima:

The most straightforward yet idiotic baker you will ever come across.

Before you even THINK about performing step 1, he will read the entire fucking leaflet like it’s a Shakesperean monologue.

INGREDIENTS INCLUDED.

LIKE SIS I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW IT CONTAINS  MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE THANK YOU.

I’m surprised he doesn’t count every single particle in the brownie mix.

You bought him a frilly cupcake-printed apron stating ‘best wife’ not expecting him to actually wear it

But since he’s secretly a big softie and treasures anything you buy he wears it proudly.

His stoic and dignified disposition is a comical contrast to the words printed on the front lmao.

Ushi best wifey bro.

The tight fit of the apron is pretty hot since it outlines every ridge of his pecs and tightly toned torso.

Gotta resist groping your mans while stirring the brownie batter.

tbh he’s more likely to grope you, he can’t resist that a$$.

And let��s face it he’s def an ass/thigh kinda guy.

Can and will try to casually initiate some form of unholy activities by lifting you up onto the kitchen counter, goading you to slowly lick the spoon and locking gazes before pulling you in for a deep, open-mouthed kiss to get a taste of the incomplete creation himself.

Ushi’s lips and brownie batter are a knock-out combo js.

Literally has the most serious face when he’s cracking the eggs into the bowl

The amount of concentration is equivalent to that of when he’s performing a serve at match-point.

HAS to set the temperature to the EXACT degree stated on the box

Everything is done by the book if you do one thing out of place he will pull you up on it lol.

“(Y/N) you were supposed to stir it for 5 minutes, not 7.”

When its done you feed him some and he can’t help but smile its so ADORBALE AHHH.

You end up eating most of it since Ushi doesn’t strike me as much of a chocolate/junk food lover.

STILL A VERY FUN BUT F R U S T R A T I N G EXPERIENCE.

Tendou:

The complete opposite of Ushi

Does everything wrong and the unconventional way.

Absolute disaster but doesn’t even sweat it since Tendou basically thrives in chaos and the disorderly.

To him instructions are purely equivocal, will read them for five seconds then toss them away.

Step aside Gordon Ramsey, Chef Tendou is here.

Despite doing everything the unorthodox way it still comes out amazing.

Like??? how???

Will cheekily place a dollop batter on your nose then lick it off fh3jkeffefds

Or if he’s feelin’ a lil freaky, he’ll swipe it off with his long ass finger and make you suck it clean, smirking at your submission as you coat his finger with your saliva.

oop-

Constantly cracking jokes and shitty food puns, pretending to drop the bowl to make you go into preemptive cardiac arrest before you can swat him with the spatula.

While you’re waiting for the timer to ping, Satori being the schemer he is will use this as an opportunity to pull some fuckery and tease you in any way he can.

u better be praying like bodhisattva TanaNoya rn because he is MERCILESS.

Suggestive comments, the brush of his fingers against your thigh, it’ll leave you A C H I N G in frustration by the end of it.

Unholy activities aside, once your baking session is completed you finish it off by feeding PHAT forkfuls of brownie to each other and giggling like dorks when it gets all over your mouth.

The jackass actually got a fingerful and SMEARED it over your cheek and forehead, drawing a little cross and snickering when the crumbs fall onto your nose.

Tendou was smart to draw a cross bc he gonna need jesus with the ATTACK you launch on him after that, which promptly leads to an all out food war in your kitchen that neither of you want to clean up after ward.

Don’t worry though it’s Tendou, he’ll somehow find a way to make such a mundane activity fun.

Nishinoya:

stirs WAY TOO VIOLENTLY

IT’S LIKE AN ELECTRIC WHISK ON OVERDRIVE.

IT WILL SPLATTER OVER THE COUNTER, CUPBOARDS AND EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR WITHIN A 1 MILE RADIUS.

You best believe he will try and eat some of the batter and you have to swat the spoon away from his mouth since he has NO REGARD FOR THE FACT HE COULD GET SALMONELLA.

Plus you know what Noya’s like once he starts eating something the whole thing will be gone in a matter of milliseconds.

He somehow managed to get Baking powder EVERYWHERE and even gave him self a little moustache with it.

The white substance kinda looked like something else but you didn’t really wanna say lmaooo.

could explain why he has so much energy all the time oK ILL STOP-

While you’re putting the mix on the tray he is SO extra and will do fancy lil swirls and over extend his arm like a swan to gracefully spread the batter

until he nearly fucking knocks it over.

During processing time since he is so excitable and impatient you best believe he’s gonna suggest a game of ping pong or something because my guy can well and truly never sit still.

ping pong match with the spatulas, kitchen island and a hard boiled egg.

Pls be careful he will rolling thunder that egg and pimp slap it so hard with the spatula it’ll damn near give you a concussion, not intentionally, but like protect your noggin. Wear a helmet.

For the remaining 5 minutes of baking time y’all just sit like kids in front of the oven and watching it rise like starved hyena’s observing it’s pray before demolishing it into sad particles of cocoa.

And lemme tell u, once the timer pings, that baking tray is free real estate for Noya. Half of your creation will be devoured before you can even put it on a plate and marvel at your handiwork. 

He kicked your ass at spatula ping pong btw I’m sorry sweaty but short kings stay winning.

Oikawa:

Such a dramatic bitch like he got the whole she-bang going on.

Strapped with a pink apron, a whisk at his side and standing proudly with both hands on his hips.He is prepared like a greek gladiator going into battle.

You better believe he gonna make some snarky remarks and tease your method of doing things. 

“Ah-ah-ahhh (Y/N)-chan you’re doing it all wrong, let me show you how a PRO does it.”

Proceeds to drop entire bowl on his foot and yelp like a little girl in pain.

Well and truly embarrassed with himself, you put a band-aid on his toe and he piped down after that.

Shattered big toe and mixing bowl aside, actually a really good baker??

He is a PRO at decorating, y’all decided on cupcakes since its literally his forte to make them look aesthetic and pretty.

You almost don’t wanna eat them from how good they look.

jk almost

You take it in turns breaking bits off and placing pieces into each others mouth with a loud “aaaaaahhh!”

Places a piece in your mouth, leans forward and locks lips with you in a soft, passionate kiss before pulling away and uttering the words “It tastes even better coming from your mouth ;)”

hnnnNNGGGGGGggGg.

You both whine and bicker over who cleans up after.

“You cleaaannnnn!”

“no Toru YOU clean!”

“but I made the cupcakes look pretty :(”

“not as pretty as you <3″

He did the cleaning after that.

Like just stroke his ego with some compliments and he’s whipped with a smug grin on his face for the next 30 minutes.

You decide to save the rest and bring them to his next practise.

Literally on the verge of tears when he sees you beaming and holding the platter of treats, Kiyotani mauls half of them in a matter of seconds to which Oiks gets salty over LMAO.

Hinata:

So excited oh my god he’s so precious please protect him I will CRY-

Has a little sunflower apron on and JBJKNDDDKDW IM SMILING JUST IMAGINING HIM FIDGETING IN EXCITEMENT OVER THE THOUGHT OF BAKING COOKIES.

Yes you decided on cookies bc he goes rabid for some choc chip biccies.

You have to guide him v carefully because of how easily confused and clumsy he is.

Cannot for the life of him crack the eggs without getting a quarter of the shell in the bowl so you have to do it instead.

Has a surprising amount of strength and forearm power bc holy shit boy can stir FAST.

Hums a little tune while he does it and bobs up and down with a wide grin on his face it’s so adorable, he has such a gentle singing voice I can’t-

Attempts different shapes with the batter when pouring it onto the tray but fails pretty miserably lol.

he tried ok???

Once they’re done he takes the tray out of the oven and since it was heavy, subconsciously propped it with his knee and nearly dropped the entire tray from the pain. (I’ve actually done this before when making chicken nuggets I do not advise being that brain dead)

Had to put some burn cream on the bbies knee :’((

When you decided to dig in, he handed you a cookie that looked like a crooked circle and said he tried to make that one a heart and insisted he feed it to you.

Blushed VERY hard at the moment of silence and intense eye contact while he fed it to you.

Nearly short circuited when his fingers brushed against your lips.

Moe moe x100000000000000000000000000000

You offer to do the cleaning after because he hurt himself and you didn’t wanna make him do any work, but he still offered to wipe the surfaces for you bc he’s an angel <333

literally just wanna marry him.

[smol-and-grumpy]

EUPHORIA - Chapter 12

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: He’s Dean Winchester, owner of a shady night club. She’s a journalist who has been asked to write an article to expose the indecency and debauchery that’s going on behind closed doors. But he’s also Dean Winchester, the boy who sat next to her in class. The boy who was too cocky for his own good.

Chapter Warning: Flangst, NSFW

WC: 4922

A/N: This chapter fills my ‘dom/sub’ square for @spnkinkbingo​​ Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons​​​​​​​​​ <3

This series is more than two weeks ahead on patreon!

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

Become a Patron ~ Buy me a coffee

Her cheeks burn up from Dean’s promise. Tugging her bottom lip between her teeth, she nods at Dean and he places a kiss on her forehead before he extends his hand for her to take, helping her down the bar stool, “Come on, I gotta say hello to some people. I wanna get this over with,”

“Okay,” She agrees, and lays her hand in his.

Dean introduces her to so many people, she can’t keep up with all their names. While he makes small talk, she scans the room.She doesn’t really know what to expect, but maybe she was hoping to see a familiar face. She spots Claire walking around, wearing a beautiful gown and carrying trays of champagne flutes. Tonight she’s really just waitressing, then.

When Dean’s finished, he guides her through the dance floor where people are mingling. Cas was standing with people she didn’t recognize. One of them she does though. It's Carmen from the boutique. 

Before she can dwell on it, someone comes around to greet Dean and they talk about things she has no clue about so she excuses herself to go to the bathroom. 

Two women come out and Y/N stands off to the side to make way for them before she gets in. She stands by the sink, checks her own reflection in the mirror. She actually didn’t have to pee, but she just needed a break. 

Washing her hands in the sink, she hears the flush of the toilet, and then the door to a stall opens to a tall beautiful woman strutting out.

Carmen.

Ugh. 

She doesn’t really want to meet her and there’s no place for her to hide or run away. She doubts that the floor will open up and swallow her, so she has to do what she thinks she should — smile and nod.

“Hey,” Carmen greets her with a wide and white smile. The woman walks forward to wash her hands in the sink next to her, and Carmen looks up, “The dress suits you. Cas was right,”

“Thank you,” Y/N answers politely, “You look good, too.”

Carmen smirks, “I know,” She tucks her hair behind her ear, “It matches the earrings Dean bought me for my birthday,” Carmen tilts her head, shows them into the mirror and their gaze meets.

Y/N’s heart thumps in her chest. She feels like throwing up but she keeps herself together. She smiles but she doesn’t know how convincing it looks, “They look lovely,”

“Thanks,” The other woman dries off her hands and walks out, leaving Y/N standing there perplexed. 

She locks herself into a stall and sits on the closed lid, trying to calm herself down. There’s really no reason for her to have all these feelings. She’s being very unreasonable, and she knows it. It’s just— she can’t fucking help it. 

After a long while, she gathers herself together enough to face the crowd again. She walks out onto the dance floor, and sees Dean talking to Carmen. The woman has her hand on his arm, laughs at a joke he probably told her.

Dean’s eyes are on her when he notices her walking out onto the dance floor. He pulls his arm away from Carmen’s hand, walks towards her to meet her. 

There’s a frown on his face and she knows that it’s maybe because she looks like she does not want to be here anymore, “You okay?”

“Fine,” She answers short and she looks at Carmen who has a smug grin on her face. 

He bends down a little, whispering in her ear, “Seriously, what is it?”

“Uh,” She starts to say, doesn’t really know why it matters, “I got this dress from the boutique Cas took me to. Carmen was there and she was visibly upset that you weren’t the one with Cas. I just met her in the bathroom, is all.” 

Y/N sees him looking back to Carmen, notices Carmen smiling and waving at Dean. Clearly not at her.

Dean presses his lips into a thin line but he’s grinning, while he raises one eyebrow, “Yeah, she’s our seamstress. We always go to her if we need new clothes for employees,” He explains, and then he adds, “Are you jealous by any chance?”

Is she jealous? Well, she doesn’t know? It’s just, Carmen was clearly expecting Dean and she looked so upset which makes Y/N think that maybe Dean had something going on with her? And why did the woman have to rub the gift in her face?

“She told me that you bought her the earrings that match her dress,”

Dean’s eyes widen before he starts to laugh, “Honestly, she gets presents from us every year. Cas usually organizes it. I have no idea what she got.”

Oh.

He pushes his thumb and forefinger underneath her chin, tilts her head up and bends down to kiss her lips, “You’re jealous,”

“Nah,” She says, shaking her head.

He’s laughing as he kisses her again, “You’re cute.”

“She’s wearing the dress she wanted me to wear at first.”

Dean takes another glance over and he has to grin, “Well, I’m glad you didn’t. You look much better in this dress.”

“She looks good too, though,” She says, because it’s true. Carmen accentuated her cleavage perfectly. Her legs are long and to die for. They are wearing the same colored dress, which should be weird but she doesn’t really mind about these things anyway. It’s just seeing the dress on Carmen, she thinks that maybe she should have shown some more cleavage as well? Maybe Dean does really like that? Her dress is very modest, compared to Carmen’s.

“Eh,” Dean’s arm sneaks around her waist. His hand drops lower, squeezes at her ass cheek and she looks around perplexed, hoping nobody notices, “I prefer you like this, don’t need people to see what’s mine,” 

  To Dean, the evening feels like it’s dragging on. He’s anticipating the moment that he’s going to be able to slip out and take her upstairs. 

She’s cute when she’s jealous, though. He never thought she would be, and now that she is, it makes him kind of proud. Maybe he’s not the only one who feels the things he feels after all? Maybe she just needs more time to realize it.

However, she really doesn’t have to worry about Carmen. It’s true that he once took her out but that was before he even opened up the club. Since then, he kept their relationship strictly business, but he can’t deny that he knows Carmen wants more. And he’s sure that she can get more. Sure that Carmen deserves someone who pays her attention and cultivates her hunger for fame and status. It’s just… that someone is definitely and absolutely not him.

They are sitting together on the couch and Dean has an arm draped around Y/N’s shoulder. She leans into him, and they face the dance floor. Occasionally, Dean would whisper to her, would tell her about the guests secrets that he knows of. They would laugh and joke around and it seems easy. Cas is doing the majority of the work anyway, like they agreed to in the beginning of their arrangement. 

After a short while of silent people watching, Dean leans closer to her and nuzzles his nose against her temple, “Hey, you ready?”

And he likes that, likes how she looks back at him with knowing eyes. Likes the smile on her face and then she nods, her cheeks seem to pick up color. 

Dean doesn’t say anything, grins a little but other than that, he tries to keep his cool and fishes out his phone to text Cas. He quickly places his phone back and stands up, jerks his head to the back door, to let her know where he’s going. He goes first, waits by the door until she joins him.

They take the staircase up to the VIP part of the club, their heels echoing off the walls. 

All the lights above the rooms are red, as they should be because it signals that they’re not to be used tonight.

“Okay, what do you feel like?” Dean asks her but instead of answering, she tugs her lips between her teeth. Fucking cutest little thing, really. How can she even think that he would have eyes for someone else?

He decides to take the lead and takes her to the nearest door that he’s sure she hasn’t been in yet. 

The room opens to a setting of a dirty bathroom with holes in the walls of the stalls and everything. 

“Ewww,” Her nose wrinkles and Dean has to chuckle, “This is really someone's fantasy?”

“Oh, sweetheart, more than you think.” Dean tugs at her arm, pulling her out, knowing that this is not what she wants. To be fair, it’s also not really on his list either, it doesn’t even make his list. 

She walks ahead and takes a couple of steps to the next room. Dean decides to let her open them up herself, “Go on, you can take a look at every room you like.”

Y/N smiles, her hand reaches out to turn the knob on the door. Dean knows not to go closer because he knows what’s in there. She closes it immediately, her eyes wide before her face settles on a grimace. Dean has to keep himself from laughing too loud. 

“Before you ask, yes. That is something people pay for.”

“Tentacles? Really?” She hisses in disgust. 

“Go on, try another one. We’re not going anywhere until we find something you like.”

She chuckles, “It’s like playing the lottery here.”

He watches her walk to another room and she lets out a “Oh,” in surprise as soon as she has the door open.

Dean walks up beside her, “I mean, it really looks inviting but I wouldn’t go anywhere near that water.”

He means the hot tub in the middle of the room. Off to the wall is a steam room as well. Even though the room gets a major clean and the water is exchanged every day, still Dean doesn’t trust it. 

“Yeah, no. Not that I want to.” Y/N says, her nose wrinkling. Another thing that he thinks is awfully cute. 

They walk along the hallway and she’s playing eeny, meeny, miny, moe until she comes to a halt. She turns the door knob and opens up to a dark room. 

There’s minimal lighting. The ones in the corners glowing red. 

There’s a black leather examination table in the middle. There’s also a big bed off to the side. The table and the bed are both equipped with restraining cuffs on their ends. She goes in and Dean watches her opening up the closet next to the door. There’s a lot of sex toys on the hangers and a mini fridge which Dean knows contains ice. He closes the door behind him, sensing that she wants to stay. 

He watches her toying with the retraining cuffs at the table, her fingertips gliding over the leather. 

“You want to stay or try another door?” He asks just to be on the safe side, and follows her further into the room. 

Y/N takes her time in answering him, looks around like she’s deep in thought. After a while, she turns, and there’s a weak smile on her face, “You’ve never done anything in those rooms?” 

“No,” It comes out instantly, he doesn’t even need to think about it.

She nods, “You said in the beginning that I’m allowed to try everything in the rooms, right?”

Dean swallows. He can guess where she wants to go with it, “Correct,”

Her fingers trail along the leather of the table and she looks down, watching the path of her finger. 

After a while she starts to talk but she doesn’t look up at him, “So,” She says. 

He has to bite back a grin. 

“Would it be weird if you try it with me?” She finally says and squints her eyes close.

Dean acts surprised but he can’t hide the smirk on his face. She asks him if it’s okay for him to try something with her. It’s like she doesn’t know him at all. Which, to be fair, she probably doesn’t — yet. Of course he would like to try things with her. Of fucking course he wants to see her limits. He wants to know every fucking inch of her body, wants to know what makes her shiver and tremble. He wants her. Period.

“Would you want me to?” He asks instead and tries to show his best poker face.

She looks up, her eyes find his, and she smiles, bright and wide, “Yes.” 

Quickly, he strides over to her, picks her up to sit her on the table before he crashes his mouth on hers. It feels like fireworks, Dean thinks. He feels little sparks exploding inside of him, his heart is beating faster, his kisses grow hungrier. God, he’s been hard thinking about doing things to her since she woke up in his bed this morning. And it’s hard, so hard not to suffocate her with all the want he has in him.

Their tongues slide together and her taste intoxicates his brain. Her hands work on his suit jacket, shrugging it off for him before her hands work on the button of his dress shirt. His hands are in her hair, around her neck, on her back. Fingertips pressing into her flesh, drawing her closer, even though they are close already but it’s not enough for him. It’s never enough. 

His hands find the zipper of her dress, pulling it down but it gets stuck. Dean doesn’t care, tears the fabric from her body and she yelps into his mouth. He breaks the kiss to chuckle, “It was in the way,” 

Y/N frowns, but Dean quickly kisses her again, making her forget as he pulls his shirt out of his pants to drop it onto the floor. 

Dean steps back to let her get out of her torn dress and she’s only wearing a pair of fucking string panties that might as well not be there. She however skipped the bra and Dean thinks it’s good because he doesn’t know if he would have the patience to get her out of it without ripping it off. He hooks his hand into her panties, pulling them down and lowers himself to place a kiss on her clit. She moans and even though Dean only wanted to place a quick kiss there, he couldn’t help himself. Couldn’t hold his own tongue back from licking at her folds, eager for a taste. Her hand finds his head, pulling him closer and Dean chuckles against her wet cunt. He pushes himself up after a while because they need to get on with what he has in mind.

“Hop back onto the table and lie on your back,” Dean says, his voice a little strained, can’t help it. It needs everything in him not to just whip out his dick and pound into her senseless.

Dean turns his back on her and walks over to the closet. His hands work swiftly, rummaging through the things and finding the item he needs. 

“Look at this,” He holds up a harness, “It goes around your neck down to your thighs, holding them up and spread. Is that okay?”

“Yes,” Her voice is broken but it’s there. Dean grins, leans down to kiss her. His hand grabs her tit, kneads it and lets go of it with a pull of her nipple. She arches her back and whimpers softly.

“Good girl,” He praises, “Move up close to the edge with your head,” 

She does, moves up on the table until her head’s almost hanging off the edge. Dean secures the harness on the back of her neck and it goes around her shoulders down to her thighs. He puts the cuffs below her knees, so they would be pulled up when he tightens the harness.

He takes a step back to admire his work, and fuck, he’s so fucking hard at the sight of her all spread out, pussy wet and shining. 

Dean bends down, kisses her forehead, lingers there with his lips, “I don’t want to do anything you don’t want, okay? So, I want to make sure that you still know what to say,”

“Tomato,” The word jumps out of her mouth like a bullet.

Grinning, he pecks her forehead, “Good girl,” He stands up a little straighter, “Do you trust me, Y/N?”

Her eyes are dark, lids heavy. She nods but remembers instantly that she has to give a verbal answer, “Yes, I trust you, Dean.”

His heart takes a leap and he smirks with a nod. Standing up straight, Dean walks to where her head almost hangs off the table and positions himself there. His hands picking her up, one of his arms weaving through both her arms on her back, locking her in place. He nibbles and licks at her face, his free hand roams around her body, feeling her muscle flex, his hand rough on her delicate skin. 

Dean works his hand lower, alternates between both of her beautiful tits, fingers twerking her nipples, pulling at them, making her moan next to his face and he moves his face on hers until he captures her lips with his, kisses her rough and deep. 

His hands go even lower, until he cups her pussy in his palm, making her gasps into his open mouth. Dean sinks his teeth into her bottom lip, tugs at it before parting from her. His thick fingers threads through her slick folds.

“Jesus, look at you, you’re soaked, baby,” He kisses her temple as his fingers rub against her clit. She squirms and writhes and he tightens his hold on her. Dean slides a finger into her pussy, “God, you’re so tight,” His finger moves in and out and she lets out the cutest of sounds, “Can you take another finger, huh?”

Y/N nods almost frantically, “Uh-huh,”

“Yeah?” Dean takes his finger out and smacks her pussy twice. She yelps up, sinks her own teeth into her bottom lip to stifle her own voice, “Use your words, Y/N,”

“Y—yes,” It comes out throaty and the color rises in her face. The color traveled down to her cleavage. Dean’s sure it’s not only from the red light in the room.

“Good girl,” He whispers next to her ear, licks up the shell of it before he plunges two fingers inside of her, hooks them up just right to feel her writhe in his grip and the sound she makes goes straight to his straining cock.

He fucks his fingers into her deep and hard, rubs the pad of his fingers against her wall, hits her sweet spot that makes her want to trash around but she can’t because she’s bound. The heel of his hand rubs at her clit at the movement of his hand.

“Dean, I—” She groans, “Fuck—“

“Come, baby, come for me,” He whispers low, licks at her jawline.

Her hands wants to grab at something, because he feels her fingers scratching at his dress pants so Dean lets her go. Instead, he locks his arm around her chest and cradles her face with his hand, “Come,” He says again, and there it is, he feels her squeezing around his fingers. Her hands come up, fingers scratching at his bare arms. 

Jesus, he almost creams his own pants picturing his cock inside instead of his fingers.

“Shitshitshitfuck,” She mumbles as her whole body quivers and convulses. She comes with the arching of her back.

“That’s it,” He whispers, “Good girl, such a good girl,” He takes his fingers out of her, smacks her sensitive wet cunt and she jolts at the touch. Dean chuckles, “Taste yourself,” He trails a wet trail up her body with his fingers that’s been inside of her, and holds it to her mouth. She eagerly takes his fingers in, sucking at them, and moans around them. Dean has to bite back a growl. She’s absolutely nasty about it and it turns him on — so fucking much.

Dean sprays kisses along the side of her face and lets her down gently so she’s lying flat on her back again. He watches her chest move up and down. Her eyes are closed, she’s panting hard, trying harder to catch a breath. 

Leaning down, he places a kiss on the tip of her nose and then she opens up her eyes, she sees him and starts to laugh. He chuckles with her. 

“Now you,” She says playfully, her hands shoot up to play with his belt.

Jesus, she’s insatiable. Dean absolutely does not mind.

Her hands brush against his cock while she toys with his zipper and he jerks up a little which prompts her to giggle. He’s so jumpy around her, it’s almost embarrassing. 

Dean takes a step back and lets his pants pool around his ankle, toes off his shoes and steps out of them. Next he takes his underwear off. His dick slaps wetly against his stomach and he can see her watching him, sees that she’s trying to turn around but that’s pretty hard when she’s still bound like that. After a while she stops trying and Dean chuckles when he takes his socks off. 

He’s standing up straight again. He spits into his palm and begins to work his cock, moaning low at the relief he feels. Dean watches her licking her lips when she looks at him, her neck craning to the maximum and she sees him upside down.

Walking up to her, he bends down to kiss her. The upside down kiss feels different, it’s not bad. Not bad at all. 

“Do you want my cock, huh?” His one hand goes down her body, smacks her pussy and her whole body trembles. 

“Fuck! Yes,”

“Say it,” He smacks her pussy again. It sounds wet, she’s soaked, her juice drips down onto the leather. It’s the fucking hottest thing, “I want you to say it,”

“God,” She groans at another smack to her cunt, “I want your cock, Dean. Please?”

Chuckling, he grabs her around her shoulder, moves her down so her head is hanging off the edge of the table. 

“Good girls say please and thank you, Y/N. You’re so fucking good, ain’t you?” He says, all cocky and bravado while he grabs his dick by the base of his shaft and rubs his cock over her sinful lips. God, those lips that look so fucking good wrapped around his dick. Her tongue darts out, eager for a taste.

Jesus, she looks so goddamn beautiful when she’s so desperate for his dick.

“Open up your pretty mouth for me, baby,” Dean coos. His hand is around the base of his shaft, applying pressure so as not to fucking come all over her face by just the sight of what lays before him. 

“Stick your tongue out,” He commands, and taps his dick on her tongue as soon as she does. She’s moaning below him at the feel of his heavy dick on the tip of her tongue. 

Dean slides it up and down her tongue, “You won’t be able to say the word but if you want me to stop, at any time, tap out, okay? Tap on my thighs, my stomach, tap on the table, just tap.” 

“Yes,” She swallows the drool accumulated in her mouth and Dean grins. 

“‘K,” He manages to say before sliding the tip into her open mouth and she immediately seals her lips around his girth, making him groan out loudly. 

It’s wet and hot and it feels so fucking right. Dean’s heart is beating heavily in his chest, his cock twitches inside of her mouth. 

“I’ll go in further, okay?” He’s almost out of breath already, has to fucking compose himself. 

Y/N can’t really answer with his dick in her mouth, he knows that, he just wants her to know what he’s doing and she knows that she can tap out anytime so he dares it. Dares to go in deeper. The angle with her head upside down is right for both of them, her throat opens up to him more easily.

His hands are now on both her tits, squeezing and kneading as he starts to thrust his hips into her awaiting mouth, going in half an inch, out a quarter, deeper and deeper until he feels resistant. He stays there for a fraction of a second longer, has to groan out at the tight squeeze before he pulls his dick out and she gasps for air, a string of her thick spit connects the tip of his cock to her lips. He rubs the slick around his dick, jerks himself while he gives her time to recover.

He lets her cough and catch a breath before he asks, “You okay to continue?” 

She blinks her tears away, nodding with enthusiasm, “Yes, please,” 

Dean chuckles. Such a fucking good girl indeed.

Sliding in again, he can feel that she slowly gets used to it. Used to his cock hitting the back of her throat and she still can’t take it too deep, because he knows that it could go deeper, but that’s not the point of all this. It’s perfect the way it is and Dean wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

He leans forward, plays with her sensitive clit while he thrusts his hips a little faster and she squirms, moaning while his cock fucks into her mouth. The vibrations on her tonsils tickles him and Dean smacks down on her clit, making her shriek as he pulls his hips back and his dick out again. 

Y/N begins to licks at his balls, swirling her tongue around it and sucks like she fucking means it. It’s a hard tug, the right side of painful, something that makes him want more, while Dean plunges two fingers into her soaking cunt, fucks her deep and hard with it, his other hand plays with her sensitive clit. And sure enough, she’s coming around his fingers again while she has one of his balls sucked in her mouth.

“Christ, you’re so fucking perfect,” He coos and works his own fist around the tip of his dick, waiting for her to be ready again. 

When Dean slides in the next time, he concentrates on the image of the bulge that’s forming on her throat. He goes in deeper, sees it bulging some more and he lays his hand on it, feeling his own dick and goddamnit, he’s so close. 

Pulling out abruptly, he releases the strap on her thighs and yanks the harness off of her. Dean pulls her up into a sitting position and jerks her forward so her ass balances on the edge of the table. He positions his dick to her entrance and slides home in one smooth motion.

They both groan in unison, her hands are on his shoulder and arm, holding herself up while he has one hand pulling at her hair making her expose her throat to him before he sucks and licks at her skin. 

He soon let's go, places his hand steady at the back of her neck. His other hand thumbs at her clit, making her moan and writhe. 

“Dean,” She gasps, “I don’t know if I can come again,”

“Shhhh,” He claims her mouth, kissing her as hard as he fucks her, tasting himself on her, “You can do it, baby, come for me,”

“Oh god,” She moans, lets go off him and braces her hand on the table and leans back a little. He quickly kisses her, fucking her with wild abandon and then he feels it, feels her pussy constricting around his cock, feels her gushing and it’s getting wetter. 

He leaves his forehead on hers while she has her eyes closed and as she squirms, her face twists in beautiful agony. 

“Fuck,” Y/N breathes out when the moment passes and Dean chuckles, kisses her gentle, soft. A wild contrast to how he fucks her. 

“Love it when you come on my cock,” He whispers. His voice is broken, he knows. 

She’s still so tight around him, and he still rubs at her clit. She’s already getting tired, he feels it, knows that he has to hurry but that’s not really a challenge because fuck, if he’s going explode any second now. 

“Can you come again? Come with me?” He asks, leaning forward to kiss her nose, her cheek. 

“I dunno,” She says, her eyelids are heavy when she blinks. 

“You can do it, baby. Be a good girl, come with me,”

She nods, which prompts him to kiss her harder. God, he’s never going to get enough of this. 

“Come on,” Dean urges, rubs his fingers just right around her nub and he changes the angle of his thrust slightly, making his cock rub differently inside of her wall. Her thighs are trembling and she gets tighter, “Fuck, I’m—”

Y/N comes before him, and he follows suit, pushes himself inside as deep as he can go and she wraps her arms around his shoulder, nails clawing into his back as he groans into the crook of her neck. 

Chapter 13

[searchingwardrobes]

Someone to Watch Over Me: 13/24

Summary: Emma Swan is ten when she first sees the pair of bright blue eyes watching her from the cracked door of the wardrobe. She thinks it’s just an imaginary friend until sees those eyes again at 16 and 23. Inspired by this prompt: a child is kidnapped and the monster under the bed isn’t happy about it.

Rating: T

Trigger Warning: an attempted rape and violence in chapter two

Words: about 1,700 in this chapter

Also on Ao3

Tagging: @snowbellewells @kmomof4 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @kday426 @winterbaby89 @bethacaciakay @teamhook @thislassishooked @snidgetsafan @delirious-latenight-laughs @jennjenn615 @vvbooklady1256 @mythologicalmango @shireness-says @let-it-raines

Chapter 13: Pieces on a Chess Board

When Emma and her father arrive at Granny’s, she’s surprised to see Killian on the patio as Martha runs around the tables. She frowns at him in silent question, and he bashfully scratches behind his ear.

“I know she’s hungry, I just . . . thought it best if I entered with the Prince at my side?”

Emma melts, her heart breaking a little. He still doubts sometimes that he’s a hero now, and the gossip of the town has clearly wounded him more than he has let on. Emma goes to wrap an arm around him, but before she can speak, her father beats her to it.

“Hey,” he says clapping his hand on Killian’s shoulder, “if they have a problem, they can take it up with me directly. I can’t think of a single person in this town who hasn’t made their own fair share of mistakes.”

“Really?” Killian asks, brow arching in hesitation.

Her father is the one who seems embarrassed now. “Well, what can I say, you’ve grown on me.”

Killian’s expression morphs into his usual easy grin. “I have that effect on people.”

David rolls his eyes, and in that moment Emma’s heart lurches. She can see a resemblance in the gesture between herself and her father, and it’s a bit overwhelming. They all enter the diner together to find that the lunch crowd has thinned by now. Mary Margaret greets them with an eager smile, and Emma feels another pang to her chest with Martha eagerly gives her grandmother a hug. It’s still awkward sometimes calling them Mom and Dad, but this family thing is going better than she could have imagined. If only things with Henry were less complicated.

******************************************************

Ruby gives her old friend Snow a smile as she passes their booth. The curse breaking has brought a lot of confusion, especially in her own life, but at least her friend has her daughter back. After so much sadness and loss, it’s good to see she and David happy with their daughter and even grandchildren. Have 28 years really gone by? Clearly so, and one only has to look at the beautiful blonde (and very pregnant) daughter of Prince Charming and Snow White and her two children for the evidence. Ruby knows it’s a relief for Snow to see her daughter happy, in love, and with a family she clearly adores. She and David even seem to have fully embraced their son-in-law.

Ruby had given her grandmother quite an earful about how she had reacted to the gossip about Emma and her pirate husband. Had Granny forgotten Ruby’s own past? Had she forgotten the terror she had wrought, the blood she had spilled? And her precious Peter . . .

Ruby pauses after refreshing a patron’s mug of coffee, her fingers going to the pendant that hangs around her neck. The one Peter had given her for her fifteenth birthday so long ago, a tiny carving of a sparrow. She pushes the painful memories aside, shoving the token into her blouse. The blouse she has buttoned all the way up to the second button. Her face reddens remembering how she had dressed as her cursed self.

“Could I have another?”

Ruby stops at the sound of the kind voice, and laughs a little at the empty glass before the petite woman.

“That’s your third one!”

“I know, but it’s so good! Whoever thought of drinking tea with ice? It's wonderful!”

Not to mention ice had only been for royalty, and even then only for the most extravagant of parties. “It really is, isn’t it? I’ll get you another.”

Ruby nods to Moe as she leaves the booth, but he barely glances at the waitress, much too enraptured with his daughter. So many happy reunions. So many happy endings. Ruby sighs as she fills Belle’s glass with more ice. What about her ending though? What will it hold?

There hasn’t been a full moon yet.

*******************************************************

“Belle!”

She looks up at the dark-haired man who has just entered the diner, and a smile breaks out over her face as she rises. He envelops her in a hug, and though she never did get his name, she returns it. When he pulls back, he ducks his head sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, I never introduced myself, did I? My name is Jefferson.”

“That’s okay, it was kind of a crazy day. Besides, you rescued me from that awful mental ward.” She turns to gesture behind her. “Oh, and this is my father. Papa, Jefferson.”

Moe rises and shakes the man’s hand. “I can’t thank you enough for what you did for my daughter. I can’t believe Regina had her locked up down their all these years. It sickens me.”

“Well,” Jefferson tugs at his tie nervously, knowing full well his motives were less than pure, “it was the right thing to do.”

“Please, please, sit,” Moe insists, “join us.”

Jefferson accepts the invitation, and slides into the booth next to Belle. He can’t help admiring how lustrous her hair looks tumbling over her shoulders in soft waves, or how appealing her figure is in her skirt and blouse. Even in her filthy, unkempt state, she had been lovely, but now? Now she was absolutely breathtaking. The realization throws him off balance, and he finds himself blurting out the last thing he ever meant to say.

“I have to confess something to you both.”

Moe’s brow furrows, and Belle’s bright blue eyes widen slightly. Jefferson shifts in the booth and clears his throat.

“Um, I just don’t want to mislead you. I didn’t free Belle for purely unselfish motives.” He rubs his sweaty palms together, suddenly realizing he doesn’t want his integrity diminished in Belle’s eyes. But hasn’t he sold most of his integrity already? Hasn’t he already been demeaned in the eyes of the one who matters most – his precious Grace?”

“I wanted revenge on Regina, and I knew that when Rumplestiltskin found out where you’ve been these 28 years that -”

“He would want to get back at her,” Belle finished for him.

Jefferson hung his head. “Yes. I’m so sorry, Belle. Here you think I’m your hero, when really I’m no different than the Evil Queen.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

Was that a smile flirting with the corner of her mouth? He shouldn’t be staring at her lips.

“Well,” Moe said, “I don’t blame anyone for wanting revenge on the Evil Queen. You freed my daughter, that’s all I care about.”

“Why did you want revenge?” Belle asked gently.

He took a deep breath, then told them the whole story. About taking that last job from Regina against his better judgment and his daughter’s wishes, about how Regina had double crossed him, then his torture under the curse. By the end, Belle had rested her hand on his forearm, offering him comfort he didn’t deserve.

“And how was your reunion with your Grace?”

He blinked in surprise at the genuine tenderness in her voice. His shoulders drooped. “I haven’t spoken with her yet. How could she possibly forgive me for leaving her? Especially when she has a lifetime of memories with a wonderful family here. She’s honestly better off without me.”

Belle shook her head. “That’s not true. Every girl needs her Papa, believe me.” She shared a tender smile with Moe who reached out to grasp her hand.

“Belle’s right,” the man added, “despite your mistakes in the past, I can tell deep down you’re a good man. You wouldn’t be worried about hurting her if you weren’t.”

Jefferson ran a hand through his hair, making it stand up even more wildly than usual. “I suppose you’re right.”

“And least give her the chance to decide how much she wants you in her life. If you stay away, you’re abandoning her all over again.”

He shook his head at the woman beside him. “Belle, you are full of more wisdom than a soothsayer.”

She shrugged and then tilted her head a bit smugly. “Well, I ought to. I read enough books.”

He liked her confidence. “What about you, Belle? Are you living with Rumplestiltskin still?”

She looked sadly into her glass of iced tea. “I’m afraid not. Rumple claims to love me, but not enough. He loves magic and power more.”

“I’m so sorry.”

She shrugs. “He has his magic, and the curse worked, so now he even has his son. When I left, Baelfire had just gotten there -

“Excuse me,” a voice interrupts from behind Belle, “did you just say Ne-Baelfire was at his father’s house?”

Both Belle and Jefferson turn around to see Emma – the savior herself, the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming – watching them with a concerned expression.

“Yes,” Belle says, “I was on my way out, but I met Rumple’s son. I thought about staying, thinking maybe Rumple would finally change, but it didn’t take long to see that it was hopeless.”

Emma’s brow furrows further. “Why do you say that?”

“Because I left the minute Baelfire said he wanted his father’s help getting revenge.”

*******************************************************

Every time Rumple hears the door swing open, his heart lurches, thinking maybe Belle has changed her mind. He had given her a key when she left, begging her to reconsider. So far, she hasn’t.

So once again, when the door swings open, he hopes against hope that it’s the woman he loves. It isn’t. But it is the son he thought he might never see again. The son he scraped and clawed to get to. Baelfire stands before him now, jaw firm and eyes ablaze.

“I did it, Papa, I met my son.”

“And his mother?”

“She fell for it. Agreed to every word.”

A sinister grin lifts Rumple’s lips. He had thought his revenge against Captain Hook was complete when he sliced the man’s hand off and crushed Milah’s heart to dust in front of him. Then the man has the audacity to hurt his son, too? Steal what should rightfully be his?

“Good, my boy. Very good.”

[winstonhcomedy]

“Dope A-F” - 1/28-1/30- “I Think I’m Going to Lose It”

What’s up baybees!?!? I’ve got a lot of shows to cover in a short amount of time. We’ve got a couple good ones, but for the most part this week has been a struggle. Definitely some super trying times, and I don’t know exactly what to do. I figured it’s time to share with you some of you laydees! So let’s get to it.

1/28

We had a twofer Monday night. I was super excited about it. For a lot of reasons. I had a spot on the showcase at Bottom’s Up pizza hosted by Patrick Buhse, and then I was going to go do a set at Jkogi’s open mic run by five comics (Brittany Andersen, Mu Cuzzo, Rick Williams, Beau Troxclair, and Kate Carroll).

So the Bottom’s Up showcase is going to be interesting. It will be the first show there in like 6 months. It used to be an open mic every single Monday hosted by a comic who is no longer a part of the scene. He lost the room after some accusations came out about some misconduct. I am not going to comment too much on it because I know there are some court proceedings going on/about to start going on.

Needless to say most people thought comedy would never happen there again. Thankfully Patrick Buhse got the room, and he booked a pretty dope lineup for the first showcase. I invited some people from work, and made sure to share the event info quite a bit. I thought this was going to be a dope show, and people would be excited for comedy to be back.

I get to the show a couple hours early and try to get some writing done. As we get closer to the show there is only two audience members. I am starting to get worried. I always do. Which is dumb, and I need to work on it. I just freak out about attendance for every show I am at. It is a dumb fear, but for right now I can not help it.

Jesse Jarvis shows up and sets up the PA. He and I start to move the tables and get the room set up. Buhse, James Muñoz, Kate Carroll also show up. After a while some people start to filter in. I have about three people from work come out (thankfully they haven’t seen a lot of my comedy so at least it will be new to them).  We keep pushing the show back waiting for a crowd. It never happens. We have 8 audience members who aren’t comedians. They are all spread out, and usually this means the show is not going to be fun.

Buhse goes up and has a good hosting set. The people there are actually laughing. I realize they all have good energy and this is actually going to be pretty dope. After his set he brings up Jesse Jarvis who keeps the train rolling with a. strong set. Kate Carroll followed him and we get more of the same. The energy in the room is great for such few people. During her set Francesca Lyn comes in and we have the full lineup there.

It is my turn. I go up and I see a lady in the front row. I ask her name, and after she tells me I say, “ok cool now I officially know everyone in this room.” That gets a good laugh and I go into my material. I do about ten minutes featuring bits I have been working on for a bit. I feel like this chunk is taking longer to get finished than most. I think I’ve been lazy which is on me. Also the topics are a little more sensitive (race, gay conversion therapy, politics) so that also makes them tougher to sell. The set goes really well. Honestly I’d give it a solid B. I felt really good about it.

Afterwards Francesca goes up and has a dope set, and James closes it out with a hot one. He had manic energy while he read off a huge list of jokes. he was like a human Twitter stream. Everybody had a good set, and the show was fun. it was fun enough that I hope Buhse can start to pack it out and turn it into something awesome.

I hop in my car and drive to do a spot at Jkogi. There is a pretty good crowd, but they don’t seem super into it. I walk in and the PA sounds pretty busted. It keeps cutting in and out. I walk in during a dude bombing and see my buddy Alex there. We talk for a bit and then he goes up. He has an amazing set. He caught some lightning in a bottle. All of his riffs on the PA not working killed. His jokes worked as well. It was definitely the best set I saw of the night. He did so well he made it really tough for Jameson who had to follow him. He didn’t have the energy to really follow the type of set Alex had. You really had to grab the dingy and ride the wave.  

Jameson bails early and I find out I am on stage next. I don’t even have time to grab my notebook so I just go up and do my set. I don’t even remember what I did. I am a little out of it and that’s to my detriment. Some of my jokes do ok, but I never really capture the audience the way I want to. I get a couple pops but thats about it. It is also distracting because to my left Jameson is just talking about how his set went. It wasn’t loud enough to distract the crowd, but he was close enough to the stage that I could hear it so it just felt like voices in my head. It is also weird when a show has multiple hosts, because most of them are lighting so I have to acknowledge like 3 different lights. I’m like I GET IT I’M BOMBING! I’d give this set a D+ or C-. Idk it was fine, but I didn’t love it.

I go outside and talk to Alex, and Mike Engle for a bit. We get a good riff session in and Alex walks me to my car. We talk about bombing, and how his set went. Alex also tells me that even though he doesn’t read it he is proud I am keeping up with the blog. Which is as nice and honest a compliment you can give someone. It was a good talk. I hop in my car and head home.  

1/29

So this is where it starts to get juicy. This is one of those rare nights in Richmond where you have the opportunity to get up not once, not twice, but three times!!!

I pick up Alex Castagne and we go grab a bite to eat before the shows. I take my goPro in and we make a video. I came up with my new video series called the Lunch Boiyz. We went to Golden Corral and Beau Troxclair joins us. We end up shooting a super funny video, and have a really great time.

After this we head back to Alex’s place and meet up with Paige. We all head down to Mojo’s to find out where we are in the lineup. We were going to do Mojos, City Dogs, and then end at Fallout. We talk to Buhse and find out that won’t work so we reassess and head to City Dogs first.

We get there and the host Benjamin Braman is setting up. There is like 4 audience members, and only like 5 comics total on the list. Kenn Edwards and Liz Carr show up, and we make up the 5 comics.

Braman goes up and does a short hosting set before bringing up Paige. Paige is working out a new chunk of trans material and he has ben nervous to. try it in RVA. It goes ok. Not a bad set. I go up next and honestly have a really hot one. All of my stuff is really hitting and the four audience members are super into it. I am able to riff some new lines which feels really good. I’d give this set a B. Honestly I don’t know if I could have done better with my material in that room.

After me Alex goes up and has a good one. He does a bunch of crowd work and works out his new shit as well. They dig it and a few more people walk in during his set. I wish more people did this room. It is a humongous shame that people have a chance to get a lot of stage time and refuse to do it. A lot of people talk about grinding and trying to make it but I think only the three of us ended up doing all three open mics. They also aren’t even that far apart and the timing is perfect to do all three.

Before Kenn goes up I head over with Paige to Fallout. We talk in the car and head inside. Beau is there and so is Kate. Kat Malone is hosting and she gets us a good spot so we can also make Mojos.

Alex goes up after the same comic who did a street joke at Hof Garden two weeks ago. The PA is absolutely garbage for Alex tonight. Every time he moves he gets crazy feedback. Then he riffs on the bad PA and this time unlike Jkogi it doesn’t work. So he gets some laughs but all in all it is a rough set. Paige then goes up and he tries some stuff and gets some laughs. He works on his trans chunk again (I'm proud of him for doing it in RVA). After his set I go up and proceed to eat a fat one. I can’t connect. Some stuff does ok, but most of it falls flat. It’s like idk wtf I'm doing anymore. I’d give this set a D. I needed more energy and needed to sell it more.

We finally head over to Mojos. The hang is fun. I am up in like 8 comics but I really am exhausted so Paige and I switch and I get to go up a few comics earlier. Alex goes up and is getting nothing. We watch a few more comics bomb. The crowd was kind of dead. They were all in the back of the room and either comics or just people that don’t give af about comedy. I tell myself I am just going to do my material.

I go up and bomb harder than I did at Fallout. I did my set and kept working on the wording, but it felt awful. Legit it felt like I was just like staring into the eyes of 30 people who have just started comedy looking at me thinking, “how the hell does this guy get booked on anything.” It sucks. I’d rate this a D or D- as well. Maybe one thing worked, and it wasn’t what I really wanted to work. I mopily walk to my car and drive home.

1/30

I have a solid day of work. I get to go to the Science Museum which was super dope. I am trying to destress after a rough night of comedy. I edit together my Lunch Boiyz video and I am crazy happy about it. 

After work I do some relaxing with friends, and then grab dinner with Alex. We go to this Philly Cheesesteak place next to Garden Grove in Cary town. It is pretty good. I show him the LB video and he loves it.  

There is two shows tonight. Home Sweet Home hosted by Jacob McFadden and then Nuevo Mexico hosted by Moe Singleton. HSH is a pretty fun hang. Tons of new comics, but also some of my buddies show up. The show starts and I’m going second. Jacob starts us off and there is an ok sized crowd upstairs. So I am anticipating having an ok set. I’ve got about five new minutes on teaching that I want to work on. 

Jacob always does a joke intro for people. They’re always funny, and can put you in a weird spot on stage because the audience has no idea that it is a joke. He really got me this night. It was a perfect aligning of the stars. I get brought up to, “this next comic used to do this super offensive character where he pretended to teach autistic kids, but thankfully he stopped Winston Hodges.” So now all my teaching stuff is out the window and I just work out other material.

I BOMB SO HARD HERE. Like according to Alex I did better than I think, but I felt like legit nothing was working. There was a dude there who was doing comedy for the first time as a punishment for fantasy football, and he came up during my set and he is just talking. I can’t shit on him because he brought the crowd, but I truly feel like I am floundering. I feel like nothing is working and I want to bail early. I do my time, but do not feel good about it. I’d give this set an F. Alex goes up and has a hot one. Gets lots of laughs, and everything at least hits a little bit. It is dope to see. 

I walk outside with Alex after and I am furious. Like legit am having a breakdown. I feel like all of the newer comics hate me, they think I’m unfunny, and they’re just staring at me because I’m a hack. This kills me. The bombing hurts so bad. I feel like all of my jokes are trash and I legit feel like I can’t remember what a good set feels like or how to do crowd work. I don’t see the point in continuing to work out new material. We have a nice talk. I am in my feels, and am devastated. I decide I am not going to Nuevo Mexico. I can’t do it. I am defeated. Alex says let’s go inside and say bye to Jacob. He goes in and I sit down to talk to Beswick and wait for Alex. 

Beswick and I have a good talk. He understands where I am coming from. He gets what is going on, and he knows it is tough. He reaffirms what I already know. That I have to keep doing new, because that is how you get good in the first place. Him and Alex both remind me we don’t need to impress anyone, this is all about working on our acts.

It has been like 15 minutes and I don’t see Alex. I assume he is upstairs. He calls me and then texts me asking where I am. I tell him I’m driving. I figured it’d be a good gag because I’m his ride. He’d rush downstairs and we’d leave.

 So like another twenty minutes goes by and I go upstairs to watch Brown Frown the Clown ( a character portrayed by Mike Shea). It is insane. It has ballads about poop, jokes about rimming, and Brown Frown eats shit on stage (literally). It is nuts. Mike does a lot of characters. They are always insane sets that change the energy in a room. I respect what he does a lot. I could never do it. It is so different from what I do on stage it is kind of astounding to watch. Audiences are always trying to figure out what is going on and that is the beauty of it. Super funny and fun set. 

I finally text Alex did you leave? He says yes. I go outside and we talk on the phone. Apparently it was a miscommunication. He was outside waiting at my car when he texted and called. He thought me saying I was driving was me telling him to screw off so he got a ride to Nuevo Mexico. I am pretty furious. Not at him but at the situation. I wouldn’t have sat in the room where I bombed so hard I wanted to die in for an additional 40 minutes if I had known he left. 

I say screw it. I get in my car and drive to Nuevo. I don’t care if I bomb again. I legit refuse to let comedy beat me. I get to Nuevo and as I walk in Alex told me he was texting me it was good I didn’t come there. Super light and drunk crowd. Super talkative. Alex said he did pretty well with crowd work but you really had to work it. 

Ben Oliver, Nathan Carlson, John Marg, Rebecca Hyman and Moe were all there. I get to see John and Ben go up. There are some moments in each set that are dope. Marg had a strong set. First time I’ve ever seen him do crowd work and he weaved his jokes in and out. Definitely a good thing to see. Ben did some as well. He is still working on being comfortable on stage, but I love that he isn’t afraid to do the tough rooms to try to figure that shit out. 

The it is my turn. Even more people have left at this point. I look at Alex and we both share a side eye. The look that this might not go well. We start laughing. I see Moe has a shit on that he made that says “embrace the bomb”. So I decide to just go up and do my thing. 

I have an incredibly hot set all things considered. I do about fifteen minutes. Most of it is crowd work with some rowdy hecklers. I really go in on this guy and he loves it. I get a few applause breaks (weird with only 7 people) and some super good pops. I feel so good during this set I don’t want to stop. I do about three actual jokes and they both kill. I ended on an applause break. I know this might mean nothing to most people but this was one of the most validating sets I’ve had in a long time. I’d give myself a B+ or A-. It was a reminder of what I can do when I am not in my own head. Bombing is part of the process, and always will be. I just have to keep working on accepting it and accepting that it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about my act other than myself/audience. 

I stay and watch Rebecca’s set. She closes on her song and I dance and sing every word to the delight of Alex. It is super catchy and I memorized it fast. I had a blast. I give Alex a ride home and then drive back to my place late and pass out. I needed this week. This feels like a big moment for my growth comedically. 

So that’s it folks. We are all caught up finally. WOOO HOOOO. Yall’re the kindest laydees who have ever lived and I love you so much. Check out the Lunch Boiyz on Youtube! XOXO love you

[persephone-damnedqueen]

Beginning Thoughts of the Fall Anime Season 2017 . . .

Welp, fall is here, and as usual, it is time for me to do my annual first impressions of the season’s anime titles.  My gods if you thought the amount of shows I checked out last season was a lot, this season’s amount is insane.  This season, so far, I have checked out 22 shows thus far and plan for at least 7 more to pick up.  Insane, right?  So how do they stack up so far?   Let’s see.  Also, please keep in mind, that these are solely based off of the first one or two episodes, and are purely my opinion, so if my opinion is different than yours, then I’d love to here it.   Also, I will try to remain as spoiler free as possible.  

Netojuu no Susume:  Studio Signal.MD

Dropped.  Alright, so I feel like I have to mention this.   I’m a serious gamer.  More specifically, I love me some MMOs.  How much you ask?   Well, so much so that I actually met my husband on World of Warcraft.  Insane right?  I mean my god you do not want to see our /played time on that game.  So, needless to say, I am a bit critical on gaming anime because of this, because I know what it’s like.   This anime was just. . . . cringey.  I found myself sighing every chance I got and by the 20 minute mark, completely turning it off.  Everything about the first episode was just  . . . bad.  There’s really just no redeeming qualities. . . well, one line said by the Guild Master which was something along the lines of “you have no idea what her irl gender is.”  I laughed.  It’s accurate.  85% of female toons you see on wow are actually guys. Anyways, moving on.   

Evil or Live:  Haoliners Animation

Dropped.  Mmmm  I had such high hopes.  After reading the summary, I will admit, I was hyped for this show.  On Paper, this show sounds wonderful.  I thought it was going to be some horror psychological thriller that at the end of it left you questioning the very meaning of the world around you or something.  Instead, what happened?   I . . .don’t even know.  The series starts off with massive amounts of Live Action, which, while being completely unexpected, I didn’t mind so much; the series became an instant drop for me when the MC and Co were clearly showing a break from reality and needed actual mental help, was beaten instead.   It wasn’t “horror” or “edgy” it was just poor writing.  Needless to say, I have dropped it.

Just Because!: Studio Pine Jam

Dropped.  For no other reason that fuck it’s boring.  I fell asleep watching it not once, but twice.  It was that boring.  This series proves that even the prettiest of shows can bore you to death.  

Omiai Aite wa Oshiego Tsuyoki na, Mondaiji:  Studio Seven

Porn.  With Plot.  Alright, so this is an actual hentai series.  Not like Soft-Core either like Hajimete no Gal was last season.  This is an actual hentai series, and if you could believe it, it’s actually more plot focused and semi-interesting than 95% of hentai out there.. . . Well, as interesting as a hentai series about a female teacher and a student banging and “engaged” can be.  Don’t get me wrong here, it’s totally trash, but hey, each episode is only four minutes, so I’m going to keep watching this trash just a bit longer to see where it goes.  

Sengoku Night Blood:  Typhoon Graphics

Mmmm Still waiting for the day with they make a good anime based off of an Otome Game.  Alright, so here’s the story.  Girl gets sent back into another world and gains a harem.  A vampire harem.  That’s it.  I’ve saved you the trouble of checking this series out.  You’re welcome.  

Urahara:  Studios Emt^2 and Shirogumi

Dropped.  Instant Drop.  Jesus Christ that animation is fucking trash.  You have two studios working on this series, and the animation still looks that garbagey?!?!  How?!?!?!  I can’t even with this. . . Ugh, nope, moving on.  

Osake wa Fuufu ni Natte kara:  Creators in Pack

Yet another series that will probably be dropped halfway through.  Honestly, there’s just nothing that really happens in this series, and I know it’s really hard for anything to happen in a four minute long series, but literally nothing happens.   Wife comes home.  Husband makes her drink.  Wife gets tipsy.  Thank you husband.  I mean the main reason why I’m going to be sticking it out just a bit longer is to keep getting cocktail recipes haha.   

Imouto Sae Ireba Ii:  Sliver Link Studios

Will probably be dropped.  Is it just me or is this series like Silver Link’s answer to A-1′s EroManga Sensei?  Honestly, this show is meh at best so far.  The art is nothing too great, and the story screams EroManga, and since I wasn’t a fan, I really don’t see myself watching more than three episodes.  

Boku no Kanojo ga Majimesugiru Sho-Bitch na Ken:  Studio Diomedea

I started watching it with hopes of it doing two things.  One, fill the hole in my heart that was left when Hajimete no Gal ended; and two, explain what the hell a Sho-Bitch is.  In all honestly though, this show is probably going to be dropped.  While the art is generic, the characters are bland and too common; I also the comedy too forced at time and repeatable.  Yes, we understand main waifu really just wants to figure out what Haruka likes, and obviously misinterprets everything, but does that really have to be the joke every single time?

Inuyashiki:  Studio MAPPA

Ah, the latest from Studio MAPPA.  I have one question:  MAPPA, what the fuck?  Let me clarify.  The opening few minutes of the first episode made me feel.  Fuck, I almost started crying.  It was depressing and yet the story was just relatable and beautiful all at the same time.  I was feeling feels I didn’t want to feel.  It really kept true to the Drama tag, which I love.  I’m a sucker for some hardcore drama filled series.  Then. . . .it got weird.  Some weird like mecha space alien thing weird.  So, again, MAPPA, what the fuck?  Don’t get me wrong here.  I will be continuing to watch this solely because despite the series taking that weird turn, in no way did that make the actual tone any less enjoyable.  Plus, the art style is so unique to the show, I’m curious as to where it can go from here.  

Mahoutsukai no Yome:  Wit Studio

Alright, I’m a fan.  This has to be a contender for Anime of the Season, and we aren’t even three episodes into it yet.  It’s wonderful, and not only one of my favorites from this season so far, but my favorite thing Wit Studio has ever done, (and yes, that just brought me a ton of hate from SnK fans haha).   I can see and agree with the hype this series has had.   Honestly, check it out.  It’s good  and I can’t wait to see where it goes from here.  

Blend S:  A-1 Pictures

I found my Moe-Blob for the season, and I’m so happy.  I actually really like this series so far.  It was adorable, and literally just what I want in my seasonal moe-blob.  It’s nothing too driven plot wise, and definitely won’t be anime of the season or anything like that; it’s literally just Cute Girls waitressing in this cute cafe.  Regardless, I’m definitely going to continue to watch it for a bit longer at least.  

Shoujo Shuumatsu Ryokou:  Studio White Fox

Keep your eye on this one this season.  It’s probably going to be the Dark Horse of this season.  In all honestly, I became instantly hooked watching the first episode.  The tone at the start was so eerie and grim that I found myself getting literal goosebumps.   Maybe it’s the high I’m on after the Made in Abyss ending, or just wanting to find something to fill the void that series has left me with, but I’m getting serious MiA vibes.  I’m hoping this series is even half as good as MiA was.  Also, I’m a major fan already of how unique the art is for this show.  

Ousama Game The Animation:  Studio Seven

I’m biased.  Period.  I will be watching this show no matter how terrible it could ever get solely because my favorite Seiyuu is the lead.  Mamoru is a God, and I will watch it religiously every week.  That being said, I can tell you that this show is edgy as fuck, and with it being one of two survival game anime out right now this season, this one is definitely the weaker, edgier of the two.  It is a pretty cool concept though, and I’m already a fan of the survival game concept, that I don’t mind watching this one until the end.  I would also like to warn that this one is definitely gory so if you don’t like that than this isn’t for you.    

Konohana Kitan:  Studio Lerche

CUTE LITTLE FOX GIRLS.  I REPEAT, CUTE LITTLE FOX GIRLS.  Having read the summary for the series prior,and seeing both the Seinen and Shoujo Ai tag on it and that it would be done by Lerche, it became an instant check out at least, and I’m glad I did.  This series is the calming pallet cleanser.  It’s the show where you can turn off your mind and just watch the cuteness.  Plus, did I mention cute little fox girls?  What more do you need?   

Black Clover:  Studio Pierrot

Alright, I’m split in two for this.  Part of me wants me to look at this show for what it is:  a stereotypical shounen series, with decent animation, predictable plot and bad voice acting, if you saw the first episode you’d know what I’m talking about.   This show screams Naruto, Fairy Tail and Bleach rip off; and hell, since I hate Naruto, never got into Bleach, and am still VERY pissed at Fairy Tail, combining the three into one really just makes me both cringe and glare at the screen.   Evil Glare.  A glare that if I could, would totally shoot lasers out and everything.  I mean hell, it’s even done by the same studio as Naruto.  Regardless, the tons and tons of shounen I’ve seen makes me just feel like this is repeating it all.   That’s one part of me.  The other part of me enjoys this show, solely for the fact that my husband LOVES the Black Clover manga, so watching it with him makes me at least want to give it a chance.   I do however doubt it will be as big as people hype it up to be, and if it does get big it will be nowhere near as good quality wise as a lot of other shounens, and will take a lot for me to become a fan.  

Juuni Taisen:  Graphinica

Without a doubt, my favorite from this season.  I’m hooked.  This series has it all:  unique character designs, well executed art, and a killer story line, (pun intended).  Mmmmm this story is wonderful.  It hooks you from the start, which is to be expected since the original source is written by the same original writer for the Monogatari Series.  There’s plot twists and betrayals and just epicness.  It also has one of the best openings and closings of the season.  Side Note:  THE PSYCHOTIC LITTLE USAGI BOY IS BEST BOY AND I WILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE, AND IF HE DOESN’T WIN I WILL RIOT.  

Yuuki Yuuna wa Yuusha de Aru:  Washio Sumi no Shou:  Studio Gokumi

When I first saw that Yuki Yuno was getting another season, I was fucking thrilled.  Yuki Yuno was a magical girl series that I fell in love with not only because of the Madoka Magica vibes it had, but because of the beautiful art and animation and vibrant colors it used.  It’s visually stunning.  So, how is the prequel turning out?  Still just as stunning.  In all honestly, I’m going to love this series provided it stays true to the themes and tones of the first season, and if the opening episodes are anything to say about the rest of the series, then I know it will.  Plus, who isn’t up for Magical Girls this season?

Osomatsu-san 2nd Season:  Studio Pierrot

I actually genuinely missed this show.  My gods this show is a gift.  This has to be one of the underapprieciated comedy gems to come out in the recent years, and it fills me with joy knowing that it still shines just like the first season did.  I enjoy watching the episodic skits of everyone’s favorite sextuplets.  Seriously, why have you not started this show?  

Shokugeki no Soma:  J.C.Staff

DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I’VE WAITED TO SEE MY SON KUGA ANIMATED?!!??!  TOO LONG.  This is hands down the best season of Food Wars yet, and we are barely a couple episodes into it.   I love the pacing of this season, and having being a manga reader, I can confirm for you that it’s completely accurate with the manga thus far.  J.C Staff is clearly showing that they still care about Food Wars and aren’t rushing with the season.  Also, thank the gods for the 24 episode season.  THAT’S MORE EPISODES OF MY PRECIOUS KUGA.  

3-Gatsu no Lion 2nd Season:  Studio Shaft

I cried.  I fucking cried.  Hard.  My god I missed this series.  Everything about the first episode was fantastic.  The music and animation were spot on, but of course nothing out of the ordinary for the phenomenal Studio Shaft, but what did I love most you ask?  Character Development.  MY FUCKING GOD.  Compare Rei to the start of Season one, and you’d never think it’s the same person.  I can’t stress that enough.  If this first episode is a sign on how amazing the rest of this season is going to be then I’m beyond fucking happy.  This is the series I’ve been waiting for since the start of the year.  

Gintama.  Porori-hen:  Bandai Namco Pictures

Has there ever been like a bad season of Gintama?   Like Ever?  All this season has proved to me is: one, life is boring and dull without Gintama.  Two, Gintama is the king of comedy series.  Three, Gintama is without a doubt one of the greatest series of all time.   This season is hilarious and easily makes me burst out laughing from start to finish.  Thank you Gintama, I’ve truly missed you.  

Ballroom e Youkoso:  Production I.G.

How is the second half of the season you ask?  *Insert Pouting Face Here*  Fuck you, Chi-chan.  Worst Girl 2017.  THERE I SAID IT.  YEAH, I SAID IT.  WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?  #BRINGBACKBESTGIRL2017  Like, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad Tartara has a partner now, but like seriously why her? -.-  Why couldn’t Mako just be his partner forever and they could live happily ever after?  

 So, yeah, those are my thoughts so far on the Fall Anime 2017 season.   Let me know yours, and if there is anything I’m not watching, and should be, then please tell me!  I love recommendations, and I already know of a few that I need to pick up. . . .

[prism-rush]

Prism Rush Main Story Episode 1 Chapter 2

Beyond the Rainbow!! -sparkling acceleration to spring-

Episode 1: The Challenging Road to Revival #2

Translator’s note: This is honestly one of my favorite chapters!

Kakeru talks about “gap moe” in this one… if anyone has a better translation for “gap moe”, let me know ahah. 

Previous Chapter

Shin: Louis… is doing a Prism Show with…. “pride”?!

Hiro: What the heck is going on?!

Kakeru: It’s already gone viral on the internet, and it’s all over the news! “New Prism Star Louis Kisaragi has made his debut from Scwartz Rose!”

Shin: Louis can do Prism Shows….!

Yu: Who does this guy think he is?! Stealing Kouji’s song like that….

Kakeru: I think Schwartz Rose must have pulled some strings behind the scenes….

Taiga: Damn them! How dirty!

Yukinojo: If this is the way things are going to go… then Edel Rose…

Leo: What will happen to us?!

Minato: I am sure superintendent Himuro will have an explanation. Let’s all just calm down for now. 

Hiro: How can I calm down?! That’s a song Kouji wrote for me…

Shin: ……..

Yu: We have to get Kouji’s song back. Hey!! Shin!! What are you doing just standing there! Hello?! 

Shin: Ah, I’m sorry! But Louis… he just looked so beautiful….

Yu: Now isn’t the time for that!

Shin: I-I’m sorry… but what can I…. 

(At Prism Stone)

Hijiri: Rei…..

Rei: Hijiri!! Are you alright?

Hijiri: Yeah…. I told the students everything…..

Rei: I see…. so “pride” is….

Hijiri: I had to hand over the rights to Scwartz Rose…. I’m pathetic….

Rei: We can’t do anything about it now. We have to think about what we can do from here on out.

Hijiri: If only I was a better superintendent, this would not have happened! 

Rei: Don’t blame yourself. Schwartz Rose doesn’t exactly play fair….

Hijiri: No, it’s too late!! Edel Rose is…. finished….

(Punching sound effect.)

Rei: Hijiri! If those kids heard the superintendent of Edel Rose say such a thing, how would they react?! Have you really lost all the spark you had back when we were both rival Prism Stars?!

Hijiri: Rei……

Rei: Edel Rose is not finished. There is still hope! Hiro, Kouji, Kazuki and the new students… they are your hope. You can’t give up yet. 

Hijiri: I’m sorry you had to see me like this. Thanks to you I’ve opened my eyes. Edel Rose is not finished. I’ll borrow their strength and I’ll fight again. 

Rei: It’s no problem. Us two, we go way back. If you ever have a problem you can come to me. 

Hijiri: Thank you….

(At Scwartz Rose.)

Jin: AHAHAHAH!! All has gone to according to Scwartz Rose, to MY plan! Finally, my precious Louis is has been released upon the world. My body is tingling. Just like when I was banished from Edel Rose, I will banish Hijiri from the world of Prism Shows altogether! However, this is only the beginning of my revenge! Rei, I can’t wait to see the look on your face… (high pitched evil cackling)

(At Edel Rose.)

Shin: Everyone, I’d like to talk about our next plan… huh?

Minato: Nobody’s around. Everyone’s taking it pretty hard. Are you OK, Ichijo?

Shin: Yeah, I am. It’s true that Louis’ show was incredible!! For me, just looking at it made me feel like my heart was going to leap out of my chest! I don’t think we stand much of a chance against him, but I still think we should all talk things out and come up with a plan! But… I guess nobody’s up for it…. 

Minato: Well, I think if you speak from your heart you’ll be able to reach them. 

Shin: Minato-san…

Minato: It’s almost lunchtime. How about you go and round up everyone?

Shin: ….Okay! 

(Shin goes outside)

Shin: Let’s see. Taiga-kun is… Ah! Napping up in a tree of course. Hey, it’s almost lunchtime! 

Taiga: You… how can you act so casual. Aren’t you upset at all?

Shin: Huh?

Taiga: Nevermind. 

Shin: Taiga-kun….

(Shin goes back inside)

Shin: Kakeru-san, I’m coming in! It’s almost time for lunch. 

Kakeru: …..huh? …Oh… Shin-chawan. I… I didn’t hear you at all…

Shin: I’m sorry I interrupted you while you were reading. Hey, what book is that? 

Kakeru: Eheh…. You caught me. It’s a very difficult book. For adults ♪ I have to build up my knowledge to keep up my game so I can stage a counterattack. Or, that’s what I have been thinking anyway. 

Shin: Kakeru-san. You’re actually really serious after all. 

Kakeru: C-cut it out… Shin-chawan! They call this a plot twist(?) I guess.

(Shin heads out to the hall)

Shin: Yukinojo-san! It’s almost time for lunch! 

Yukinojo: Understood. Thank you. Hey, Shin… I’ve always been a bit sheltered in the Kabuki world. So I don’t really know how to handle much pressure… 

Shin: Yukinojo-san….

Yukinojo: However… The whole reason I came knocking on Edel Rose’s door was to come out of my shell. 

So when the going gets tough, that’s exactly the time to get going and learn how to deal with such pressure. Don’t you agree?

Shin: ….Yup! 

(Shin goes into the bath.)

Shin: Leo-kun, it’s almost time for lunch! 

Leo: Shin-kun, thanks for taking the trouble to find me!

Shin: It’s rare to see you without Yukinojo-san. 

Leo: Yuki-sama said he wanted to be alone…. What are we going to do now. I’m getting more and more scared….

Shin: WAH! Put some clothes on before you hug me! 

Leo: BUT! I can’t just keep sniveling like this. I have to man up…! At a time like this, Yuki-sama would absolutely rise to the challenge! 

(Shin goes to the practice rink)

Shin: Yu-kun! Did you hear lunch is almost ready?

Yu: I am the all knowing all powerful Zeus! I don’t need food. 

Shin: Okay well you say that, but haven’t you been practicing since morning? You need to keep your strength up! 

Yu: Not right now! “pride”, Kouji’s song, was stolen from him! I have to keep training, to become a star even bigger than Over the Rainbow, so that Edel Rose can–

(Yu’s stomach growls)

Yu (blushing): …..!!

Shin: Well, meanwhile, shall we eat?

(Back to the dining room.)

Minato: Today is gazpacho with couscous, perch poêler, and fennel with orange sauce.

Shin: I’m digging in!! *chew chew* It’s delicious! 

Minato: Ehehe. There is some of your dreaded celery in the sauce…. Did you notice? 

Shin: What?! I didn’t notice at all. It’s just so delicious. 

Minato: That’s because it’s been stewed well. Celery’s bitterness disappears and only deliciousness remains. 

Yukinojo: The rich taste of Minato’s cooking makes one doubt it’s only a hobby. You’re really just like a professional. 

Minato: Thank you. But it’s really all because of Kouji’s lessons. 

Taiga: HEY! Hands off my fish! 

Yu: I’m going through a growth spurt and I’m hungry! 

Leo: We’re all around the same age, so aren’t we all still growing? 

Kakeru: Hey, well if lil’ bro doesn’t eat up and get bigger soon, people could mistake him for an elementary schooler. 

Yu: H-h-h-ey!!! 

Minato: Suzuno, if you don’t sit down while you’re eating you’ll be going to bed without dinner.

Yu: Okay… got it…

Yukinojo: Shin? You’re awfully quiet. 

Shin: ….I’ve got it!! I know what we need to do!!

Taiga: Huh? What are you going on about all of a sudden? 

Shin: Well to be honest, when I saw Louis’ Prism Show, I thought it was so amazing we could never stand a chance. But… There is something we have that he doesn’t! 

Minato: Something that only we have…..?

Shin: And that is… the bond of all seven of us! We’re all the best of friends! If only we can work together, I’m sure we can do a show better than Louis! 

Yu: But… how… 

Shin: We should do a Christmas Party! 

Next Chapter

[boatspeak]

Some of my favourite dramas from the past half a year, ranked: 

1. Because This is my First Life 

k-drama, 16 episodes, each 1 hour long

So sensitively and personally written. I was sucked into the storytelling and felt as though I was seeing these scenes through the eyes of the characters. Bravo to the scriptwriter; as I was watching it I felt, ah, she must have drawn from some intensely personal and important place. It was not a story anyone could have written. Because This is My First Life follows the stories of three BFFs as they experience, and grapple with, love and marriage. It does not shy away from the complicated sides of these issues - the societal, monetary and financial pressures that love and marriage cannot be separated from, the difficulties of communicating with others honestly yet sensitively. There are some frustratingly incorrigible people in the drama (like sexually harassing superiors), but most of the time the conflicts play out between good people who care for and support each other, yet inevitably butt heads because they have different - and equally valid - views of life. Is it wrong to want to marry and start a family? Is it wrong not to? It was painful at times, I think I cried for some of the characters. Not because they were pitiable, but because sometimes in life there is no right or wrong; you have to make tough choices and it hurts but you have to keep your eyes open and keep watching; keep walking. For the literature lovers out there, especially those who might be sick of gratuitous (often cheesy) quotes inserted randomly into dramas, well, good for you! Characters in Because This is My First Life read and are impacted by (real life) books, and you can see how the books they’ve read influence the way they think, act, and communicate with each other. It’s very realistic and mirrors the way you might consume and digest books in your own life outside of the drama. Oh, the PPL is also wonderfully done and actually contributes to character building.  8-9/10.

2. Raise de wa Chanto Shimasu (I’ll be serious in my next life)

j-drama, 12 episodes, each 1/2 an hour long

One woman, five sex friends. I know. I know it sounds messy and melodramatic and angsty. I hesitated for the same reasons as well. But when I finally got over it and watched the damn thing (very bingeable, totalling at only 6 hours), I regretted not watching it sooner. Raise wa Chanto Shimasu is a breath of fresh air. Most of the characters, whether hypersexual or asexual, are pretty unabashed about it, and I love their self-love. Want to have sex? Go for it, gurl. Don’t want to have sex? Also no problem. The title is an apt one and showcases this message of acceptance. We might have bones to pick with our current lifestyles, but welp, we’ll just be serious in our next lives. As one of the characters said at the end, “we all became independent, working adults, I think we should be proud of ourselves”.  Much needed affirmation in a world of moralising, slut-shaming, virgin-mocking, and expectations to get married and settle down.

Warning: one of the characters in a bi/gay relationship is pretty vocal in denying his sexuality even in front of his partner, and a trans woman was harrassed at one point. These were discomfiting for me. 

3. The Fiery Priest 

k-drama, 40 episodes, each 1/2 an hour long (or 20 hour-long episodes)

Action. Comedy. Kim Nam Gil, who won the Baeksang for this role. Honey Lee. Badass babe. Ahn Chang Hwan, who was so realistic at playing a Thai immigrant my friend who studied Korean for three years didn’t even realise he was Korean. Father Han. One reviewer said he was a literal angel, and I concur. Most dramas leave you with at most three or four characters you really like; this drama makes you fall in love with the whole gang. Everyone has a backstory, or some hidden side that you didn’t expect that just adds so much more dimension when revealed. Where some might find it hard to balance the weight of action and the levity of comedy, dipping too deeply into angst or farce at times, The Fiery Priest manages the tone really well even as the plot deepens and our characters have to deal with deep-seated traumas. I have nothing more to say to promote this drama except, how could you pass on Kim Nam Gil doing action plus comedy MINUS tragedy and the moustache? 

A final note: Technically, The Fiery Priest is a stronger drama than Raise and should deserve the no. 2 spot. The former deals with bigger issues like corruption, morality and forgiveness, while the latter is more light-hearted and deals almost entirely with personal choices. However, some issues Raise touched on were really important to me and came at a time when I really needed affirmation to believe in my beliefs, so it edged out The Fiery Priest in my heart. 

4. 传闻中的陈芊芊 (The Romance of Tiger and Rose) 

c-drama, 22 episodes, each about 45 minutes long

甜。This drama is just Sweet with a capital S. What a refreshing watch, especially for women. I loved not having tugging battles between two men. I loved the respect given to consent. I loved having so many smart and capable women who have conversations with each other that do not revolve around men. I love how the male lead wasn’t hung up on Male Ego and gave his wife space to be herself and make her own decisions and mistakes. A rare gem. I’m sure I will revisit this when I’m tired of the usual ドキドキ tactics involving possession and pulling around 

(If you can read Chinese, I suggest watching it on the 腾讯视频 app with 弹幕 on. I found it pretty hilarious, meaning I laugh-cried so hard in the middle of the night my neighbour knocked on my door to ask if I was ok.)   

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A quick rundown of the dramas and films I’ve watched so far in 2020 so you know the pool I picked these four from: 

Penguin Highway 

good watch. super cute. I cannot over-emphasise how cute the penguins were. It got me into a penguin phase and I’m not out of it even after 7 months...

ぼくは明日、昨日のきみとデートする (My Tomorrow, Your Yesterday) 

good watch. bittersweet.

わたしに××しなさい！(Watashi ni XX Shinasai/Missions of Love) movie and drama special

would pass on the movie (which cherry-picked from the manga but unfortunately left out a lot of important character developing scenes so the relationship didn’t make as much sense as it did in the manga)

but the drama special. Whew. I watched the drama special twice. It’s trashy good. Because it’s basically a spin-off to build hype for the movie, it doesn’t have to follow the plot of the manga, instead taking on the format of a (very cheesy) otome game. So you have all these ikemen saying clichéd toe-curling lines like “I am also a man you know” and getting stuck half-naked bReAthInG HeAviLy in cabinets together but instead of playing it seriously (as the movie would do because it’s supposed to make you feel like they are falling in love), the main character goes huh??? wtf are you saying?? at her otome game screen, which is so realistic and just cracks me up. definitely would rec. 

ごめんね青春！(Gomen ne Seishun/ Saving my Stupid Youth) 

hmmm. so-so? Leading lady Hikari Mitsushima is pretty, cool, and fits the bill of gap moe. Ryo Nishikido is also pretty believable (once you suspend your disbelief that somehow all his students think he looks dorky and are not gushing over his ikemen-ness). Unfortunately, relationship development between the otp happened too late and too suddenly. 

Он – драко́н (On Drakon/ He’s a Dragon/ I Am Dragon)

a pleasure to (re-)watch as always. Lovely visuals. 

Tokyo Ghoul: S

decent! Great performance from Shota Matsuda as the Gourmet. He’s definitely a draw-point for this movie - you can see him being featured heavily in the trailers. 

Strong Girl Do Bong Soon

great drama, would rec! 7-8/10. Points docked for all the digressing they did with monks and gangsters. I loved the otp’s dynamic, how healthy their relationship was. One line that struck me was, “Do you know how you’ve found the right person? When you see yourself in their eyes, you look happy”. It was a reminder that while these are obviously fictional characters, we can and should form relationships where our partners are as supportive of us (and us of them) as our dear otp, and not to settle for less. Also loved the fact that smol Bong Soon is so strong and no one can manhandle her >:-) 10/10 also to rookie actor Jang Mi Kwan, who was absolutely terrifying as the villain. How is he only a rookie??  

Because This is my First Life

see above

The Fiery Priest

see above

선덕여왕 (Great Queen Seon Deok)

hehe I watched it (again). As great as ever. Somehow cried more than I did the previous two times I watched it? Took me a week to get over one of the characters (even though I already went through all that heartbreak the first two times I watched this..) Sayang... Definitely has a special place in my heart. Available in full on youtube with subs. 

传闻中的陈芊芊 (Romance of Tiger and Rose)

see above

来世はちゃんとします (Raise de wa Chanto Shimasu) 

see above

覆面系ノイズ (Fukumenkei Noise/Anonymous Noise)

pretty good! Adapted from a manga but very film-like with its color-corrected shots, many cut-scenes to birds and crashing waves. Shison Jun was great in his intense scene, Ayami Nakajo has the most manga-looking face I’ve seen and Koseki Yuta is my bb as always hahaha he’s appeared in, like, four dramas on this list. 

博多弁の女の子はかわいいと思いませんか？(Don’t You Think Girls Who Talk in Hakata Dialect Are Cute?) 

YES!! I DO!! Wholesome drama packed to the brim with hometown (Hakata) pride). I also loved Okada Kenshi going around looking for Ramen shops hahaha. Now I want to see him host a food discovery show. 8/10. Would rec! 

帝一の國 (Teiichi no Kuni/Teiichi’s Country)

面白い 。Interesting watch! In which a bunch of high school boys in an elite school take their student council elections very seriously and attempts at political hijinks ensue. Suda Masaki and his pals somehow make over-the-top super seem natural. I don’t know how they do it, but it’s pretty good. Peppered with interesting reveals and counter-reveals along the way. 

男子高校生の日常 (Daily Lives of High School Boys)

I liked this! It delivers on what it’s supposed to. As a film, it is very film-like. The background is given a lot of weight in this film, and the director “shows, not tells”. The conversations of our characters are situated in the chatter of their schoolmates, you hear random snippets of conversations drift around, you see the school situated in the mountains, piles of decorations around the hall. This helps in conveying the “daily” nature of what happens in the film - not some life-changing adventure, but a warm high-school memory that is pretty like a paper star in a glass bottle. The boys are also very lovable and dorky in their high-school roles. 

ピーチガール (Peach Girl)

not bad. Typical shoujo manga adaptation storyline, even if the leading quartet do well in their roles. Nagano Mei was especially memorable for me out of the typical shoujo heroine roles I had previously seen her in. Inoo Kei also really looks like a boy from a manga. He has a lot of exaggerated actions, but he pulls them off really well. 

突然ですが明日結婚します (Totsuzen desu ga ashita kekkon shimasu/ It’s Sudden But Tomorrow We’re Getting Married/ Everyone’s Getting Married)

pretty decent. It’s not mind-blowing, but it’s definitely not bad. (Or you could flip it around and say it’s definitely not bad, but it’s not mind-blowing). 

ヲタクに恋は難しい  (Wotakoi: Love is Hard for Otaku)

disappointing. I really wanted to like this film for Takahata Mitsuki and Yamazaki Kento, but there were too many useless musical scenes. 

同期の桜 (Doki no Sakura / Our Dearest Sakura)

Hmmmmmm. About colleagues who become inspired in their work and lives because of their colleague Sakura. I wanted more love but that’s not the main point of the drama so it’s not their fault. It got a bit repetitive towards the end, and I felt there wasn’t enough character development. Another drama I really wanted to like more than I did, because I was looking forward to seeing Takahata Mitsuki, Ryusei Ryo and Mackenyu work together. 

Tokyo Coin Laundry

A mishmash of lost souls meet at a coin laundry. A short drama about running away, making choices, and moving on. Katayose Ryota might have been cool in My Brother Loves Me Too Much, but this was where I first saw him and I prefer him in this. I enjoyed this a lot and even drew a postcard based on this. 7/10. 

兄に愛されすぎて困ってます (My Brother Loves Me Too Much) drama and movie

ok don’t judge; I watched this because my friend said it was pretty good. Katayose Ryota IS pretty cool in this, and Tsuchiya Tao brings to life the quintessential image of the Japanese girl, but if you’re watching this for “so cheesy it’s actually good” I would point you to the Watashi ni XX Shinasai drama special instead. If you do want to watch this though, you should watch the drama before the movie, because they are not standalone. 

Nodame Cantabile

What can I say? Classics are classics. 8/10, would rec. This is my first time seeing Ueno Juri acting, and she’s so believable as quirky Nodame I wondered if this was her actual personality. Straight out of a manga. There was potential for messy love-drama, but this drama took the high road and focused on proper character development instead. Thumbs up! They also did really well in “showing not telling” us the OTP’s relationship development. Rather than declarations of love, you can see it in the little caring gestures and almost subconscious smiles. I liked that too. Though maybe I’ll dock a point for how they treated gay expressions of love - “he’s a man you know” and icky faces - and how much casual manhandling there was against Nodame (exaggerated flying punches... maybe that’s how the manga wrote it?) 

[your-modern-shakespeare]

Never Forget You (22)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21

Summary:  It’s been over a year since Dean has gone to Hell. You used to date Dean, so what would it be like if you ran into him one day?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 6315 (well...)

A/N: Sorry for the way over due wait on this, this semester was hard on me and I’m getting back into the swing of things. So here is the second fic for the week and I am going to try my hardest to get the fic rec out in the next couple of hours. I love you guys and I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: talks of Pregnancy, ANGST, fluff (?), talk of nudity 

Tags: @drunkwordsss, @fangirl1802, @beltz2016, @lust-for-pan, @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes, @cra-zy-vib-es1999 (here you go :))

Y/N’S POV

It's been about a month since Sam got back...or his soul I guess. The only problem was that he didn’t remember anything, so as far as he knew Dean and I never got engaged and we never got pregnant. Or that's what he believed and we weren't going to tell him any different.

So we worked a few cases and did everything we could to keep this wall from crumbling down. We faced dragons and spider creatures and the walking mannequins and took every opportunity to lie to Sam.

Of course the only thing we couldn’t stop was the fact that Sam was trying to do anything he could to remember everything that he had forgotten.

We were lounging around Bobby’s and went downstairs to look for dinner when we saw that Bobby was gone, out on a supply run, and Sam was in Bobby’s study looking through some lore books. Dean and I were resting on the couch when I felt the surge of archangel energy and I quickly hide myself from him.

“Hello, boys and Y/N. You've seen "the Godfather," right?”

“Balthazar…” Dean started to threaten.

“You know, the end, where Michael Corleone sends his men to kill his enemies in one big, bloody swoop?” He grabbed a container of salt and threw it into a bowl on Bobby’s desk.

“Hey!” Dean yelled as he dug through the multiple ingredients throughout Bobby’s stash of the supernatural.

"Dead Sea brine. Good, good, good. You know, Moe Greene gets it in the eye, and Don Cuneo gets it in the revolving door?”

“I said "hey."”

“You did. Twice. Good for you. Blood of lamb. Blood of lamb.” He moved over to the fridge and started digging through there. “Beer, cold pizza. Blood of lamb. Yes! Blood of lamb!”

“Why are you talking about "the Godfather"?”

“Because we're in it, right now, tonight. And in the role of Michael Corleone, The archangel Raphael.”

“You mind telling us what you mean?”

“No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.” He was digging through Bobby’s desk and knocking everything out and onto the floor. “Yes. Bone of a lesser saint. This vertebra will do very nicely. Your Mr. Singer does keep a beautiful pantry.”

“Wait, Raphael is after you?”

“Raphael is after us all. You see, he's consolidated his strength. And now he's on the move.”

“And where's Cas?”

“Oh, Cassie? He is deep, deep underground. So, good old Raffy put out a hit list on every last Samaritan who helped our dear Cas, including the three of you. And so much more importantly, me. See, he wants to draw Cas out in the open.”

“And you expect us to just believe you?” I finally butted in.

“Oh, don't. You'll go where I throw you either way.” He walked over to the window and started drawing a sigil.

“What's that supposed to mean?” Dean asked and the storm outside seemed to get heavier.

“That's all the time we have, lady and gentlemen.” He opened his jacket, where we could see a pretty nasty cut. “Where is it?”

“Whoa. What happened there?”

“Oh. Garish, I know. You see, uncle Raffy sent one of his nastiest to handle me. I'm flattered, actually. And down a lung at the moment, but that's all right.” He threw a set of keys at me. “Oh, here's for you.”

“What am I supposed to do with this?” I asked.

“Run with it.” All of the sudden Balthazar is thrown across the room and another angel appears, ready to fight.

“Virgil.” He said and turned to the three of us. “I said, run!”  And then he throws us thru a window. I was looking right at Sam and Dean and some other girl as they fell through the window and onto a mattress. I quickly looked around and saw that I was sitting in some director’s type chair.

“Cut!” I looked over at an older man sitting behind a small TV. Sam and Dean were looking around the TV set, or what I could make it out as, and I quickly got off the chair and walked over to them. The other girl looked exactly like me and creepily so. “Outstanding! That was just great.” The same guy yelled.

“So...No angels?” Sam asked.

“No angels, I think.” Dean answered.

“I don’t feel anything.” I said.

“Should we be killing anybody?” Sam asked again.

“I don't think so.” Dean answered.

“Running?”

“Where?”

“Moving on! That's a wrap on Jared, Jensen, and Haley!” One of the crew members yelled.

“Who the hell are—?” Sam asked. Sam and Dean were both staring at someone behind me and as soon as I turned around I felt someone kissing me. I knew that it wasn’t Dean but for some reason this kiss felt just as right. My hands were stuck between this man’s chest and I was going to push him away but strangely enough I didn’t want to.

I pulled away first and opened my eyes to the man I least expected to see, let alone to be kissing.

I was completely speechless, I couldn’t say a word.

“You surprised to see me?”

“Very.”

“I know that I’m here early but I couldn’t wait to see you and I really wanted to be here for your appointment.”

“Appointment.”

“With the OB/GYN.” He put his hands on my waist and that’s where I saw the small but very visible bulge that was my stomach. I looked down at my left hand to see the ring that was there and very quickly put the pieces together. This wasn’t our world and in this world I was married to whatever man looked exactly like John Winchester.

“Can you give me a minute with these two?” I asked.

“Sure thing. I’ll meet you in your trailer.”

“Okay.” He kissed me on the cheek before he turned and walked away.

“What the hell is happening?” I said.

“He’s alive.” Dean said, absolutely stunned and like a deer in the headlights.

“This isn’t our world.”

“How do you know?” Sam asked.

“Well, for one, ever since we got here, I’ve been trying to get out of here and I’m still here. Two Cas is standing right over there and yet I have no idea who that is considering I don’t sense any angels. And three I am married to your father and carrying his child.”

“One how do we know that that is not Cas, especially if your powers don’t work here? And two, can you never say that again?” Dean asked.

“Dean, this is our reality right now. We need to figure out why Balthazar sent us here. Because I don't know about you, but I don't really want to get stuck here.”

“Jared! Three minutes, okay? Great.” A woman came over and stole Sam away from us, Dean following behind.

“Where are we going?”

“Jensen, there you are! Let's just get you in the chair.” Another woman started to drag Dean off in the other direction and I followed.

“Chair?” He asked.

“I’ll meet up with you later, find out what’s going on!” I called after him and headed out of the lot. I saw a line of trailers and walked up the line of them until I found one that said Haley Morgan. I remembered them calling out a Haley when I was standing next to Sam and Dean, so I opened up the trailer door and walked in.

“Hey there.” He quickly came over to my side, ushering me to the couch.

“Hi.”

“You okay?”

“I’m just really tired.”

“I told you that you work too hard.”

“Can I be honest with you?”

“Always.”

“I feel like I never stop.”

“It’s because you don’t, but it’s also what made me fall in love with you.”

“How's that?” He pulled me closer to him. His eyes stared into me and I couldn’t help but feel a little overwhelmed by the things that I was feeling for this man. I didn’t understand why I was feeling anything for him, but he made me feel the way that I felt when I was with Dean.

“Because I love making you stop.” He was so close to me that I couldn’t think straight. His hand came up to hold my face and then he kissed me. And God was he right. He made everything stop, my thoughts, my worries, everything. And that scared me.

I pulled away and took in a breath.

“Don’t we have an appointment to get to?”

“We do.” He smiled, before he stood. He grabbed his keys and I followed him out of the trailer.

I looked at the lot pausing for a second when I spotted Sam and Dean talking to Cas, or at least the guy who looked like him. I caught Dean’s eye and he just shook his head and I turned back to my husband. I didn’t know what was happening and I had no idea how to fix it.

DEAN’S POV

I watched as Y/N left with him...Sam was dragging me off to who knows where, I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that she was married to someone else.

“Dean, concentrate, we’ve got to find a way out.” I followed Sam as we started walking up a line of trailers.

“Hey. "J. Ackles."” Sam pointed out.

“That's fake me.”

“Yeah.”

“This must be fake mine.” He opened the door to Jensen’s trailer and we walked in. Honestly when I walked in I was surprised by how fancy this was, I easily got distracted. “Dude, I have a helicopter!”

“Oh. All right, who puts a 300-gallon aquarium in their trailer?”

“Apparently, Jensen Ackles.”

“Huh.” Sam moved to sit at a laptop on the table next to me. “All right, here we go. Let's see who this guy is.”

“Well, he's not a hunter, but he plays one on TV.” I walked over to the huge TV that had some video of me and Sam on it. “Oh.” I picked up a magazine that was sitting on the coffee table. “Come on. Look at these male models. Nice "blue steel," Sam.”

“Hey. Apparently, it's our job. All right, uh, here goes. Um...It says you're from Texas.”

“Really?” I walked over to the table and sat down beside him, looking at what he had found.

“Yeah. Married to Danneel Ackles in 2010 and, uh...Oh. Says you were on a soap opera.”

“What?” He pulled up this very over dramatic clip of Jensen acting and I pulled the laptop away and went back to the previous screen.

“I don't like this universe, Sammy. We need to get out of here.” I started looking at the titles of the articles listed under my name.

“Yeah. No argument here. But I don't think our prayers are reaching Cas. Or the real Cas.”

“Well, I agree. I think we are definitely out of, uh, soul-phone range. Wait—”

“What?” I pointed at one of the “People also search for” names on google.

“Haley Morgan.” I clicked on the photo of her face and the first thing to pop up were pictures of Y/N. I scrolled down and saw her husband’s name. “Jeffrey Dean Morgan, married since 2008.”

“Dean, that isn’t Y/N.”

“Yeah.”

“We need to focus on getting out of here. Which seems kind of hopeless, I mean Y/N doesn’t have any powers here, so how are we going to—”

“I have an idea.”

“What?”

“If we can reverse Balthazar's spell... I watched every move.” I grabbed a pencil and pad and sketched out the sigil. “We just, uh, get the ingredients, right, get back to that same window, and...There's no place like home.”

Y/N’S POV

“Congratulations! It’s a girl.” The doctor said and as soon as she got a few pictures, she wiped the jelly from my stomach.

Jeff (I asked him to fill out the form and I finally learned his name from that) was so excited. I think I was shocked because after I heard what the doctor said, I couldn’t stop crying.

“It’s a girl.” I whispered.

“We’re having a girl.” He reached up and kissed me quickly before he helped me off the chair. The doctor left the room saying that the receptionist would schedule our next appointment on the way out.

I was having the hardest time coming to terms with what was happening to me, because on one hand I could be happy for the possibility of this child and the amazing life that this was but on the other hand there was a world that was falling apart, one where I wouldn’t get the happy ending, one that I had to go back to. Being torn...made it really hard to be happy. And I couldn't stop crying.

“Hey, what’s the matter?”

“I’m happy, I really am.”

“Then why are you crying?” He held my face in his hands and wiped my tears away with his thumbs.

“I don’t know...I’m just really tired.”

“Well let’s get you home.”

And like he said, he took me home, which was this apartment complex that the cast and crew shared not far from the lot...and in Canada, which I thought Dean would get a kick out of.

As soon as he opened the door I went inside and found the bedroom collapsing onto the bed. I moved to my left side and he followed in behind me, laying down right behind me.

“Are you alright? You’ve been acting kind of strange today.”

“I think I was just nervous about the appointment. That and I didn't really sleep all too well last night.”

“Well get some sleep now, I’m taking you out to dinner to celebrate later and I'm hoping to make you smile.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't be, I know I surprised you and I know how hard the distance is, I miss you all the time.”

“I'm glad you were here for the appointment.” I genuinely was, I didn't want to go by myself when I had no idea who I even was.

“Me too. Now you need to go to sleep.” He moved to leave.

“Jeff...can you stay until I fall asleep? I don't really want to be alone.”

“Sure.”

He moved back in behind me, letting his hand rest on my stomach. The longer I stayed here the longer I grew more comfortable with Jeff, to his voice, his smile, his touch. I fell asleep easily in his arms dreaming of a life with my baby girl.

DEAN’S POV

We walked into “Jared’s” study after our awkward confrontation with Jared's wife, who apparently played Ruby in Supernatural the TV show and coincidentally owns an Alpaca. Sam and I ignored the fact that we apparently weren't even friends in this universe and tried to get to work. As soon as we got in the room started looking for our missing ingredient for the spell.

“"Wrist bone of saint and holy reliquary. Museum-quality, from diocese in Oaxaca." Looks legit.”

“All right. Auction house is in Mexico City. We could be there day after tomorrow. We, uh, case it, yank it, be back here by the end of the week.”

“Or we could just buy it.”

“What?! Dude, that thing's over a hundred thou—” Sam picked a credit card up off the desk. “Hello, Jared Padalecki.”

So I got on the website and started filling out the information to pick up the package and Sam was on the phone from someone at the airport.

“Cubrir a su amigo en la aduana. no? Bueno.”

“Triple rush. No problemo. Because money is no ob—This baby's maxed.” Sam just pulled out another card and handed it to me.

“They said it should be at the airport first thing in the morning.”

“Money, man. There is nothing like it. All right. Couch. TV star. Beauty rest. I moved over to the couch and tried to fall asleep. But the fact that I hadn't seen Y/N all day or even talked to her was really bothering me.

I pulled out my phone and saw that I had a few missed calls and texts from the same person, Danneel, which I remembered was my wife.

I quickly looked through the texts and sent her a message telling her that my phone had died while I was at work and that I would call her in the morning, hoping that would give her some explanation. I don't know why I was concerned about giving her a reason but I was.

I scrolled through my phone until I saw Haley and called the number.

Y/N’S POV

I was sleeping pretty good considering I was in an alternate universe and sleeping in a bed that belonged to someone else. Apparently I was more tired than I actually thought, considering when I told Jeff I was tired I thought it was just an excuse. But I was jolted from my sleep when I heard buzzing coming from my bedside table.

I sat up, a lot slower than usual, considering the bulge, and grabbed the phone off my table. I looked at the empty side of the bed but turned back to answer the incoming call.

Y/N: Hello? I said sleepily.

DEAN: Y/N?

Y/N: Dean? Please tell me that you found something .

DEAN: I think we did. We're going to try and reverse Balthazar's spell in the morning.

Y/N: That's good news. I don't think I sounded too happy.

DEAN: I thought you would have been a little happier to hear we were going home. Are you okay?

Y/N: I am happy.

DEAN: What's wrong? Even over the phone he could tell that something was wrong with me.

Y/N: I'm having a girl. There was a long break of silence.

DEAN: A girl? He sounded a little choked up, even if he would never admit it.

Y/N: Yeah. Another long break.

DEAN: Well you would never believe what I found out. We are in Canada. He changed the subject.

Y/N: Yeah I know. I laughed.

DEAN: And you never got to meet her but Sam is married to Ruby or the chick who played Ruby on the show—

Y/N: Ruby the demon?

DEAN: Yeah and he has an alpaca in his backyard.

Y/N: Who is this guy?

DEAN: I know right?

Y/N: What about you?

DEAN: I'm married too.

Y/N: I guess we all are.

DEAN: It's weird thinking about all of us being married to other people

Y/N: It's weird thinking about our life being a TV show.

DEAN: I know right? It was bad enough when it was a book series.

Y/N: Really.

DEAN: So what about Jeffrey? Is he nice?

Y/N: He is and he's really excited for the baby.

DEAN: I bet he is.

Y/N: And from what you told me, he doesn't really remind me of anything like your dad.

DEAN: Really?

Y/N: I guess. I never met your dad in the present but Jeff is more like your dad before he lost your mom.

DEAN: That's good.

Y/N: So what are you guys doing now?

DEAN: Well we ordered an ingredient for the spell online, it'll be here in the morning. So now we're just kind of hanging out.

Y/N: I'm about to go eat dinner but—

“Hey, you're awake?” I heard Jeff say and I looked up at him, pausing in complete shock.

DEAN: Y/N? I heard him ask on the other line but I couldn't tear my eyes or thoughts away from a very naked Jeff standing in the doorway of the bathroom. Not responding to either of them, he moved towards the bed, but didn't stop.

“Like what you see?” He said, chuckling at me as he walked into the closet.

DEAN: What did you see?

Y/N: I'm going to have to call you back.

DEAN: What? What did he do?

Y/N: Nothing you want to know about.

I hung up the phone and hid my face under the blankets, feeling the blush on my cheeks and trying to hide it. But I didn't see Jeff quietly walking back over to his side of the bed before slipping in beside me and practically scaring me into a laughing fit when he grabbed my sides and tickled me relentlessly.

“Jeff, Stop!” I cried during my laughter. After a minute of begging he let up and I couldn't help but smile at the dorky smile on his face. “You are evil.”

“No I'm not.”

“I was talking to Jensen.”

“And?”

“And you were very distracting.”

“But I made you smile.”

“God, if that's what you have to do to make me smile, then I'm in more trouble than I thought.”

“I told you how much trouble I was before we got married but you still said I do.”

“Don't make me regret it now.”

“Go get in the shower. I want to take my beautiful wife and daughter out for a good restaurant cooked meal.”

“Fine, but I'm going to frown the whole way.” I put on my sad face and started walking around the room, really milking the sad face for him but I was actually trying to figure out where my things were. He just watched me from the bed and waited until I was close enough to him, to slap my rear so that he could get a different response out of me.

“Hey!”

“Go, Mrs. Grumpy Gills.” I walked over to the bathroom door and looked at him one last time.

“You know that makes you Mr. Grumpy Gills right?” He smiled and I closed the door behind me.

I didn’t take a long shower, just long enough to relax a little. That and I stared at my little bump. She wasn’t that big, but I loved her so much.

That night I went to dinner with Jeff and I actually had a really great time with him. I wore a dress that didn't make me feel fat and shoes that I really regretted wearing, but dinner was good. And when we got back to the apartment it didn't take long for either of us to fall asleep.

I woke up the next morning earlier than Jeff, quickly got dressed and wrote out a note, for whenever he woke up.

Jeff,

I headed into work early. Jensen and Jared came to pick me up so swing by when you want. I hope you sleep in and take your time getting here, you deserve it.

Love, Me

I wasn’t sure if that was overboard but I just hurried downstairs and out to the car that the boys were in. Dean was nice and helped me into the car, seeing as it was harder for me to climb in, since the car was higher off the ground.

Sam and Dean had a package with them and I just figured that that was the last ingredient they needed for the spell. Clif, their driver, dropped us off at the studio and they started putting the ingredients in the bowl like Balthazar did but before we could get any further the lights turned on and crew members poured in.  

The boys begged to have some time in the space but ultimately they didn’t budge which meant the boys needed to do some acting. Surprisingly enough, I wasn’t in this scene, apparently they’ve been cutting me little by little so that they had to do less cover up and editing for my baby bump.

Misha always started the scene but take after take the boys were just not getting it.

“Action!” The director must have yelled for the hundredth time.

“That's because...That's because we have no other choice.” Sam said.

“Don't look at the camera.” Dean whispered.

“What?”

“Look anywhere but the camera.” Sam gingerly looked up at the ceiling.

“That's because we have no other choice!”

“Cut! For the love of…” So they reset and tried again.

He held up a prop key, “If there's a key, then,” raising up his other arm, “there must also be a lock.”

“Cut!” Reset. “Action!”

“If there's a key...then there has to be a lock. And when we find the lock, we can get the weapons, and then we can have the weapons. And the lock. We'll still have the lock, I imagine, because we've opened it, and, of course, the initial key.”

“We need to get all three.” Dean said in a really deep voice. 

“What?”

“That's how he does it.”

“Oh.”

“Do we really need all these lines? I mean, I-I-I-I think we've covered it. Right?” Dean looked over to the director.

“Cut! What is happening? What's happening?! What's happening?!”

“What about Haley?” Someone suggested and then they all turned to me.

“Let’s adjust the cameras and someone give her a script. Try and get something done.”

So they added me back into the scene, apparently giving me and Cas an “angelic moment” they called it. While I was working with Misha, found out his name too, Sam and Dean started working on the spell, out of frame.

We paused to take a break and I met up with them.

“Where did you learn to do that?” Dean asked.

“I went to college and one of the classes I took was beginning acting.”

“Anyway, we’re thinking that we need to be in the same places we were when we came through, which means—”

“Which means I need to be by those chairs.”

“And we’ll jump through the window.”

“Let’s do this.” Sam said. So I went and stood by the chairs and then they jumped through. The only problem...it didn’t work.

So plan B, we didn’t have one. We were headed back to Jensen’s trailer when Jeff stopped me.

“Hey.” He stooped down and kissed me.

“Hi.”

“Where you headed?”

“Well these two had a rough take so we’re headed to Jensen’s trailer to run lines.”

“I brought you some food.”

“You are a lifesaver.”

“I’ll go wait in your trailer.”

“Thank you.” Sam and Dean just watched me.

“What?”

“He brought you food?” Sam asked.

“What? I’m pregnant!” I opened the door to his trailer and sat down on the couch.

“Maybe we did it wrong.” He suggested.

“No. No, that spell was perfect. It should have worked.”

“What if it can't? Look, I was up all night, looking online. There's no sign that anything like the apocalypse happened here. Ever. And as far as I can tell, monsters, ghosts, demons – they're all pretend. I mean, even Y/N doesn’t have her powers and she was the closest thing to God that we had.”

“So nobody's hunting then?”

“No hunters. Look, maybe that's why our spell didn't work, you know? Maybe here, there's no supernatural, no magic.”

“No demons, no hell, no heaven, no god.

“Something like. Even better – No angels.”

“What do you think Y/N?” They caught me with a big bite of food in my mouth. I tried to talk around it but I had to get through my bite first.

“I honestly don't know what to do, the only thing I can assume is that when Balthazar needs the key he'll bring us back.” I put the key on the table. 

“So we're just sitting ducks?”

“Without my powers I don't know what else to suggest.”

“So what we just keep going on with these fake lives? We go back to our wives and you to your husband?”

“What else are we supposed to do without any magic? I'm not trying to brag but I have a pretty great fake husband and if we have to stay here longer than planned then I know at the very least that I'll be okay. But I also am carrying a child and I have to think about her, so I'm not going to jump through windows and cast spells that could backfire. If we do anything else it's going to be because we know 100% that it'll work.”

“A girl?” Sam said, I looked at Dean with a confused look. He must have not told Sam because it was to close to our truth. 

“Yeah...that was what the appointment was for.”

“Oh.” We tried to change subjects but we were both thrown off that I just ended up heading back to my trailer.

Jeff and I sat in the trailer for a while, watching a movie and eating more food. He picked a pretty funny movie but it was a suspiciously long wait.

So we decided to go and figure out what was happening. And I wasn't really amused.

Apparently Sam and Dean got in a fight with an “extra.” I had no idea what that was about so I texted Dean. Apparently the extra was Virgil the weapons keeper of Heaven, but he didn't have his powers either but that he disappeared. He said that they were going to head back to Jared’s home for the night and that apparently filming would continue tomorrow after they figured out what to do with their rogue stars. They had a quick meeting with the director before they would head that way and Dean said that he would see me tomorrow.  

So Jeff and I went home and had a home cooked meal. We watched TV and talked a lot about the baby, looking at names, furniture, and other baby stuff. And then I got a text from Dean, late at night.

DEAN: Misha is dead. Virgil got to him. But homeless guy said that Raphael will pull Virgil back through tomorrow, same time, same place.

The following morning was a bittersweet day because I had to send Jeff back to LA. So he drove to the airport and I walked him inside.

“So...I've really enjoyed the past few days.”

“Me too. I regret not spending some more intimate time with you…” He leaned down to say in my ear.

“Yeah, I'm sorry, I mean with the baby and the appointment and everything going kind of crazy at work—”

“I understand, I do. I just miss you when I go.”

“I know.”

“But you'll be back in LA soon for the convention and I'll get to spend more time with you.”

“Yeah, I'll see you then.”

“And until then I need you to take extra special care of our little girl.”

“I will.”

“Good.” He leaned down and kissed me, pulling me close to him.

The thing about Jeff was that I could definitely feel that Haley loved him. I had felt so much love for Jeff in the two days that I had known him and being in this world was a great reminder of the things that I did have in my life, back in the world where the supernatural existed.

“I'll see you soon.” I said.

“I'm going to miss you two.”

“We’re going to miss you too.” And then he went through security waving behind him once more before he disappeared.

The drive back to the TV lot was a sad one. I tried to keep my mind away from the inevitable but every so often I thought of her and couldn't help but long to bring her with me.

I pulled in and parked next to the car Sam and Dean had driven in and then I walked in to find them waiting for me in Bobby’s.

“Hey.” Dean said, moving from the chair he was sitting in and let me sit instead .

“Thanks.”

“Are you okay?”

“I was just a little emotional coming over here, hormones and everything.”

“Where's Jeffrey?” Sam asked.

“Getting on a plane to LA.”

“Well we’ll be home soon and this will all just feel like a dream.” He tried to make me feel better, but I wouldn't tell him that it made me feel worse. I think Dean picked up on it though, he probably knew exactly what I was feeling.

“You know that if we drop Virgil, get the key, then this might be it. We might be stuck here.” Hearing him say that...I knew that he was trying to support me. That even though we were married to different people here, he just wanted me to be happy. 

But most importantly he was trying to protect me from the thought of what was about to happen. “No, we'll figure out a way back.”

“Well, you wouldn't be that broken up if we didn't, though.”

“What? Don't be stupid.”

“Well, I'm just saying. No hell below us, above us only sky.”

“Dean, our friends are back there.”

“Yeah, but here, you got a pretty good life. I mean, back home, the hits have been coming since you were 6 months old. You got to admit, being a-a bazillionare, married to Ruby, the whole package. It's no contest. And Y/N has a husband who loves her and a future that I can't give…” He stopped and I looked up at him, trying to hold back my tears.

“No, you know, you were right. We just don't mean the same thing here. I mean, we're not even brothers here, man. It's not that this world isn't amazing, it's just not real.”

I tired to come to terms with what he was saying but I couldn't help but want to run away from the possibility of going through this loss again.

DEAN’S POV

I watched as all of the color left Y/N’s face. I tried to get her mind away from the fact that she was leaving this life behind, this baby behind, but Sam dragged her right back in. I was going to say something to her when all of the sudden we heard gunshots coming from outside the studio. I immediately went to shield Y/N, moving her behind the desk where she could hide. Sam and I listened, waiting for Virgil to come inside, except we were too far away from him to do anything. I told Y/N to stay as hidden as she could but that she would have to stay close just in case Balthazar decided to pull us back, then we moved.

Sam was our distraction and as soon as Virgil turned away from the remaining civilians I attacked him and we collapsed into a motel room set. As soon as he was knocked out I yelled for Y/N to come in and Sam grabbed the keys off of him. We saw a glowing Sigil appear on the glass and tried our hardest to run, knowing that Raphael would be on the other side, but it didn't work.

We were thrown through the window and onto the ground outside of a motel, where Raphael stood waiting.

“You three...Have the strangest luck.” She said?

“Raphael? Nice meatsuit. Dude looks like a lady.” With just one squeeze of her fist we lost all ability to breathe.

“The key.” She picked up the key from where it had landed when we fell through the window.

“And that will open you a locker at the Albany bus station.” We heard Balthazar say, his distraction releasing us from her hold.

“Really.”

“You see, I needed a modest decoy to make it more convincing.”

“Give me the weapons.”

“Sorry, darling. They're gone.”

“What?!”

“I said, too bloody late. You see, they were so well-hidden that I needed time to find them. So, I volunteered these three for a game of fetch with Virgil. You three were such an adequate stick. Thank you. Thank you.”

“You've made your last mistake.”

“Oh, I've got a few more up my sleeve, honey.” She moved to attack him when Castiel showed up.

“Step away from him, Raphael. I have the weapons now. Their power is with me.”

“Castiel.”

“If you don't want to die tonight, back off.” And just like that she was gone.

“Well, Cas...Now that you have your sword, try not to die by it.” Balthazar said before he too was gone.

“Cas, what the hell?” Cas walked over to us without a word and zapped us back to Bobby’s. “Wait, wait, you were in on this, using us a diversion?”

“It was Balthazar's plan. I would have done the same thing.”

“That's not comforting, Cas.” I said.

“When will I be able to make you understand? If I lose against Raphael, we all lose. Everything.

“Yeah, Cas. We know the stakes. That's about all you've told us!”

“I'm sorry about all this. I'll explain when I can.” And then he was gone too.

I looked at Sam, seeing that we were both angry about what Cas had done. Then I looked at the huge hole in the wall where the window used to be. The last I knew would hurt the most. I looked over at Y/N who was sitting on the couch now with her head in her hands.

“Y/N?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She whispered.

“I know that this is a lot like before, but if we just wait this out—”

“Wait this out? You know we were happy before, we were going to get married and have a baby and Chuck took that away from us and now the angels get to do it too? I’m tired of waiting this out! I’m tired of being tossed around.”

“Don’t you think I feel the same? I loved our life together, I would have stayed if we had the chance. I want to marry you and we’ll deal with Chuck and the angels like we always do.”

“It’s never going to stop...I should have said no to him. At least then you could have been happy.”

And just like that she was gone too.

“Wait, you guys are engaged and were going to have a baby?” I turned to look at Sam, hoping that I hadn’t just put a crack in the wall.

PART TWENTY-THREE

[jeonwhipped]

The Arousing Nature of Shampoo Bottles

Pairing: Jihae (OC) & Jeongguk

Genre: slight smut, CRACK

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: Jihae now remembers why she never listens to Jeongguk.

A/N: HELLO!! After so many broken promises of “I swear I’ll get it done today!” IT’S DONE!

A/N 2: this is actually a repost bc i was on tumblr mobile like 2 minutes ago and it turns out the “delete�� button is dangerously close to where my thumb scrolls WHOOPS

Prompt: “Omg u should write Crack where u slip while having shower sex ahhaha”

They were known as the Notorious Fuckers around the friend group, meaning that they were pretty nondiscriminatory when it came to exactly where to have sex. The bed was almost solely for sleeping, so they utilized every other space in their apartment to do the fucking do. This is mostly thanks to Jeongguk’s ridiculous sex drive and his openness to trying new things, and the only reason why Jihae goes along with him is because he’s a great fuck, and always ensures she finishes, too. They also have incredulous conversations during their time together: sometimes Jihae will tell her girlfriends about a wonderful epiphany she had the other day, and when they ask, “what brought this on?” she shamelessly admits riding Jeongguk’s dick, talking about every kind of philosophy there was.

When I say “nondiscriminatory,” I mean, like, actually everywhere. Against walls, on the floor, the kitchen counter (this one was Jihae’s personal favorite), pressed against the glass sliding door overlooking the city, in public, for fuck’s sake …. You get the idea.

But there was also one other place they never tainted.

The shower.

Now, there’s a reason for this, too. In addition to all the things that could go wrong in the shower, Jihae thought of it as a sanctuary - the same idea as a bed. It’s good to have at least one place in the house that’s untarnished, right?

But you’re about to witness one of the few times Jihae complies to his wishes and regrets her decision immensely.

Surprisingly, their schedules are aligned enough where they both leave at the same time in the morning (around 7am), and neither of them have to wait too long before the other returns in the evening, too. And what perfect way to save a few bucks on their water bill than to shower together in the morning?

Today was no different. After her alarm rudely disrupts her deep sleep, Jihae dragged herself and an equally groggy Jeongguk into the shower, where she turned the water temperature to scalding and sluggishly stripped naked, Jeongguk following suit. She then shuffles over to the sink, where she blindly fumbles for their toothbrushes (how she’s able to navigate the house with her myopia amazes her boyfriend) and shoves hers own into her mouth after she places a hefty amount of minty toothpaste.

“What did you dream about?” she asks, leaning against the glass wall of the shower. Condensation is slowly working inside the enclosure.

“Hmm,” he mumbles, rubbing the sleep from his eye. “That we all suspected Taehyungie was an alien trying to sabotage Earth. Like a spy. But when we went to perform some tests on him, it turned out that he was human. You think that means anything?”

She’s genuinely surprised at hearing this. “People aren’t always what they seem?”

“Or that Taehyung is hiding something,” he suggests, waggling his eyebrows. Noticing the growing humidity in the room, he opens the glass door and gestures her in. “Maybe he’s a bigger skank than the both of us combined.”

“Whaaaat, that’s practically impossible.” After he steps in with her, she swings the glass door shut. They both stand under the water for a few moments, continuing to brush their teeth. “Okay, maybe not impossible,” she admits, turning to face him again. “It could explain why he gets lost when you guys are traveling together. Or why he suddenly leaves the room sometimes.” She spits down the drain. “He comes back looking disheveled every once in awhile, no?”

“Are you suggesting he has secret hoes lurking in every corner of every building?”  He laughs, mimicking Jihae to rid himself of the the built up saliva. He takes their toothbrushes and deposits them in the cup standing on the rack.

“Maybe! You never know,” she shrugs, suddenly reaching out to twist his nipple, earning a squeak from the male. “He’s probably the raunchiest of us all.”

“Topping us? No way. He probably has hoes, male and female, lined out his door. But in terms of raunchiness?” He returns her jab two-fold, sharply twisting her own breasts, one in each hand. “He’s no comparison to us. Which reminds me, actually.”

She slaps his hands away. “What.”

“Why haven’t we had sex in here before?” he asks nonchalantly, grabbing a shampoo bottle and squeezing the gel onto his hand. “Come ‘ere a sec.” Jihae takes a step closer to him so he can lather shampoo in her hair for her. “Think about it -”

“Because you’re getting a hard-on from the shampoo bottles, right? I know, Jeon. They’re enticing. But you must exercise self restraint.” Right as he opens his mouth to retort, she immediately cuts him off. “Look, I just think it’s nice to have one spot in the apartment where I haven’t sucked you off. Alright?”

He lathers the soap in her hair so much that it goes almost stiff molding her hair into silly shapes. “Then I’ll just eat you out until you come, like, thrice,” he giggles. Rising his hands from the soap, he grabs her apricot facial scrub from the soap stand.

“I think you missed my point.”

“Listen, noona. There’s many perks to shower sex. Close your eyes, please.” She obeys once he spreads the cleanser on her face. “One: it’d wake us up in the morning. You like being groggy in the morning, or what?”

Jihae’s sass is still sharp, even if his hands are all over her face and she can’t see anything. “I don’t like being crippled in the morning, thank you very much.”

Rolling his eyes, he gently guides her body into the water stream to rinse of her face first, then her hair. “You talk as if we’re gonna slip or something. Have some faith in me, will ya?” He uses his hands to wipe off the excess microbeads from her face. “Two: we’re already naked. Sure, it’d add probably another 20 minutes to our routine, but you’ve gotta admit, it’s pretty convenient. Turn, please.” She spins away, waiting for him to smooth conditioner through her long strands of hair. “And three: you always have a good time when you’re with me. What’ll be from all the other times?” He squeezes the conditioner onto his hand. “How about we try it out today?”

She almost gives herself whiplash turning her head around to glare at him skeptically. “Now?!”

Putting his fists to his face, he gives her the best aegyo he can without making her vomit, pouting his lips in the process. His eyes must have looked like a puppy’s, honestly. If this were an anime, he’d be gushing two-dimensional flowers right about now. “Please.”

Jihae narrows her eyes into slits, obliging. “Fine. Only if you promise me that if I don’t like it, then we must have table sex. Also if you stop your stupid rendition of moe.” She tosses one of her pinkies over her shoulder. “Deal?”

But even as he laces his pinkie with hers, murmurs “deal” near her ear, and plants a kiss just below her ear lobe, Jihae isn’t 100% convinced that this could end well. There’s so many things that could go wrong….but … fuck it, right? She trusts Jeongguk enough. Nothing terribly embarrassing happened during all the other times they had sex (well, excluding that time when they were getting frisky in their parked car, and Jihae accidentally leaned too far back and sat on the fucking horn for a few seconds, probably disturbing the entire complex), so, honestly, what could go wrong? Actually, don’t answer that.

“Hang on, Jeon,” she says, halting his trail of kisses by spinning around to face him fully again. “Fuck the foreplay this time.” Without warning, she wraps her hands around his neck, hops up, and folds her thighs over his waist. He barely has enough time to place his hand on her butt for support, and in surprise, walks forward until the cool tile is flush with her back, before she ground her groin against his.

“Oh my god, how long have you been hard!” Before he opens his mouth to respond, she jokes, “those damn shampoo bottles, isn't it.”

“Ugh, noona,” he complains, taking one hand off her bum to line his dick up with her entrance. “Keep talking and I’ll get soft again.”

She fucking cackles at this. “You were hard ever since you woke up. Now hurry u- ah -”

To put it simply, the stretch is a bit much. Maybe she shouldn’t have fucked the foreplay, honestly. Water wasn’t a great lubricant, either. But she thought she could do it - with how often they have sex? Like, Jeongguk should have been able to sheathe himself in her with no problem. AND had room to spare.

But she overestimated her capabilities, much to her dismay. As soon as he pushes forward just a centimeter, the friction became unbearable, and she holds flings her hands out to brace against his massive shoulders. “S-sorry. I - it hurts. I miscalculated. Bad judgement. I’m sorry. I should have just -”

“Let me eat you out, right?” he finishes, then smiles a shit-eating grin. “It’s not too late -”

“No, no,” she cuts off. “Too much extra work and positioning. Can you - can you just talk dirty to me or something? Maybe the juices will start flowin’.”

“Of course.” He clears his throat and looks her dead in the eye with a seriously sultry expression. “With a great dick comes great responsibility.”

Oh.

My.

Fucking.

God.

“Did you just use a pick-up line on me?”

His incredulous look is incredulous. “What! You said -”

“I know what I said. But - god. Never mind!” she whines. “Put me down. You’re no help! I’ll just finish by myself.”

“What!” He’s so surprised that he accidentally leans forward entering Jihae even further. It feels like she’s being ripping in two, it hurts so much. Although he immediately apologizes when he sees her wince, he’s still disgruntled by how their sexy time turned out. “But I always let you finish, Jihae-noona!” He pouts a very convincing pout. “Don’t do this to me.”

“I don’t want to touch your dick right now. Slip out, damn you.”

He runs a frustrated hand through his wet hair but doesn’t budge, even as Jihae squirms in every which way. “What are you even going to get off to?! I’m right here, for fuck’s sake!”

“You want honesty?” She taunts, stilling. “I could come right here and right now with just the thought of Park Jimin, with his newest dance routine in a blindfold -” For emphasis, she clenched around the few centimeters inside of her, making Jeongguk splutter. “And his recently dyed black hair -” she closes her eyes and scrunches her face like she’s about to cry. “True art,” she weeps, a few tears escaping from the corner of her eyes.

“Oh my god, you’re actually crying. Over a boy who doesn’t even know you exist! I’m out.”

But Jeongguk forgot that the only thing keeping Jihae suspended was himself, and the wall behind her. So when he removes his hands from her butt and steps back completely (and slipping out of her, too), it takes all but half a second for . . .

“FUCKING HELL!” she yelps as she crashes ass first onto the wet porcelain floor with nothing to break the impact.

And Jeongguk’s actually like struck with how irresponsible he is. You had ONE job, kiddo, but look what you did.

Sadly, though, the only person Jihae has to be angry at is herself. Whatever possessed her to actually listen to Jeon Jeongguk has only made the most plausible outcome a reality. What was she expecting? Something romantic and hot?

Thank the fucking lord he has enough tact to shut the water off, sweep her up bridal style from the ground, kick the shower door open, and seat her on the sink. After retrieving her towel and gently drying her and himself off, he hauls her over his shoulder, stalks over to the bedroom, and lays her down easily, supporting her head as it meets the pillow.

“I’ll call the school today,” he murmurs, tucking the blankets over her naked body.  “Tell them that you -”

“Fractured my dignity?”

He smiles apologetically down at her. “I’m sorry, Noona. I’m sorry for dropping you.” Kneeling on the floor, he digs under the covers until he finds one of her hands with both of his, squeezing it reassuringly. After leaning down and kissing the lump created by their intertwined hands, he asks, “How can I make it up to you?”

Her response is immediate. “Table sex after I’m able to walk. I think I genuinely busted my ass, Jeon.” She roll to the other side of the bed to make room for him, wincing all the while. “And if we go the fuck back to sleep, please.”

Without hesitation, he flings the covers up and quickly slips under them, arms wrapping around her frame and pulling her back to his chest. After placing a delicate peck on her temple, he mutters, “I just wish you slipped on my dick instead -”

Too worn out to even glare at the male, Jihae opts to ignore the remark and slowly closes her eyes instead. “That’s the last time I’m listening to you and your goddamn ideas.”

Jeongguk’s nose crashes into the nape of her neck and nuzzles it. “Even if I suggest table sex?”

After a beat of silence, she sighs, “You are so lucky you’re a good fuck,” but opted out of adding on to her sentence, “excluding the scene we had just four minutes ago.”

a/n: thank u for taking time to read this mess lmao. have a gr8 day lovelies 

[theanimewarren]

Top 25 Anime Series - 2017 Edition

Oh man, I can't believe I actually managed to come up with this damn list. There are so many changes to my previous top 25 list, it's almost scary. But I promised I would for my dear friend, Doaks as part of the celebration of his finishing his 100 top 10 lists (see his post here https://kitsu.io/posts/8688917 ), so I really dove in and gave it my all to come up with the list. Hopefully I'll be able to explain why I placed the shows on the list in a way that makes sense as well.

I do have to say that that I couldn't actually narrow my list down to 25 though. I got it down to 35 by some miracle. Once I had that ordered the way I liked it, I decided to take the remaining 10, pick 5 of them that made decent talking points and listed them as honorable mentions to the list. I'll be going through those first, then proceeding on to the true meat of the dish, my top 25 anime series! So let's get on with it!

The Honorable Mentions:

5. Bunny Drop/Sweetness and Lightning/Aishiteruze Baby/Listen to Me, Girls. I Am Your Father/etc.

This is the only time on this list that I am going to cite several shows that are not all part of a single series, but I honestly couldn't pick just one of them to represent this topic. Suffice it to say though, I really enjoy these series that deal with the single parent role to a small child. Most of my examples deal with a teenager or young adult in the role, but it doesn't have to be that way. Sweetness and Lightning and Bunny Drop have the parent role filled by someone who is old enough to know better for instance. They all share the same sort of storyline thread though, seeing the ups and downs of parenting from both sides of the relationship and how bonds form and grow as time goes on. You could probably lump Barakamon in with these as well, though Handa-sensei doesn't quite fit the role of legal guardian, but there is still a lot of the same sort of storytelling involved. Poco's Udon World would also fit here, just with that added supernatural element. But yeah, I really love these shows, but alas, not nearly as much as the ones that made the final list.

4. Yoru no Yatterman

https://kitsu.io/anime/yoru-no-yatterman

We've long since gotten used to the concept of a reboot. At least once a year, it seems, there's a new anime reboot of some old series. I'm sure that in Japan, there are actually a fair number of people who either remember the original shows or know about them because they're parents were raised on them, or had a soft spot for them. For us westerners though, this is not always the case. You might get a few of us who happen to stumble across an old show like Time Bokan or Gatchaman, but how many really delve into them? I love older anime and even I'm not well versed in the more obscure series beyond about the mid-90's. That being said, I did make an effort to get some information about Yatterman and the various other characters involved in the Time Bokan universe (it probably has a far better name but I don't know it offhand). Now, why did I do this? Because this series did such a good job of making me want to relive these characters. I knew it was a reboot of sorts, but I didn't know the characters. I could tell it was a total love letter to them and the shows they were from though. If I had grown up with it, I'd probably be in tears of joy the whole time for the wonderful job they did, from many returning characters and set pieces to even the simplest subtle nods left here and there in the show. I loved this show for that. It's not often you can get a sense of nostalgia from something you couldn't possibly have proper nostalgia for, but Yoru no Yatterman did it, and I applaud it for that.

3. Strawberry Panic

https://kitsu.io/anime/strawberry-panic

So, anyone who's spent some time with anime is probably at least somewhat familiar with Yuri. It's not a hard thing to find though. The basic idea has been bastardized for use in many a harem series or comedy series for the laughs. But how many of us know the difference between that and the more proper, pure form of Yuri? Probably more than I'd expect, but still, it's a huge difference that I wasn't totally aware of before I watched Strawberry Panic. I'm very glad I did though. While I'm sure the very idea of Yuri, even in this form, would unsettle many westerners, I found the whole idea very captivating to watch. It was so pure and innocent, and yet it stirred emotions in me that I never thought I'd feel from a show that I thought would be a step below softcore lesbians before I watched it. Boy, was I wrong. This show opened my eyes to yet another facet of anime that that I really need to explore more.

2. Tokyo Magnitude 8.0

https://kitsu.io/anime/tokyo-magnitude-8-0

This is a series unlike anything else I think I've ever seen. I mean, we've had many a disaster movie made in the west. They tend to be either super cheesy summer flicks as far as I've ever seen, though I'm sure there are some decent ones out there. In anime though, I don't know that I've ever seen anything quite like Tokyo Magnitude 8.0. The premise alone is pretty bold coming from a country that is quite possibly one of the most active in the world when it comes to earthquakes. All the same though, there is just something amazing about the execution of the whole story. It's sensationalized a bit, but overall it's a great lesson in the kinds of things you might expect in a huge disaster, and it does that while still telling a powerful and moving story at the same time.

1. The Pilot's Love Song

https://kitsu.io/anime/toaru-hikuushi-e-no-koiuta

For myself, this is one of the more shocking entries on my entire list. When this series ended, I was so pissed off. I have stated many times how much I hated this show for how it ended. But I've reflected on it a bit since then, and you know what? I like it. I mean, yes, the ending is a terrible cliffhanger that never got resolved and there is a bit of the plot near the end that's kinda disappointing as well. The journey to get there though. That is something I enjoyed a lot. The world was also quite cool as an experience, and I wish I could have more of it. Oh, and while I won't delve into this big time, I do appreciate any series that isn't afraid to kill off cast members in a meaningful way, and for a purpose. So yeah, in a lot of ways, This is actually a really great show. The only reason it didn't make the top 25 really is the way we were shafted out of an ending.

Alright. Now that we're past the honorable mentions, it's time, for the shows that I love more than any others. The shows that make me happy, keep me entertained and generally could be the only shows I ever needed if I was stuck on a desert island. Here, are my top 25 anime series!

Top 25:

25. Taisho Baseball Girls

https://kitsu.io/anime/taishou-yakyuu-musume

Considering how highly I spoke of some of the shows in the honorable mentions, seeing this show here is probably quite a surprise to some of you. To that, all I can say is that this show gave me many things that I enjoy just by themselves, but all together in one package.

Sports series. Check.

Moe cast. Check.

Historical setting. Check.

Decent comedy backed by a good story. Check.

All around, it just pleased me in so many ways to watch this. It does feel like the moe edition of “A League of Our Own” at times, but for me this isn't a bad thing. Watching our two initial leads build a female baseball team at a time when so many things were changing in the world, let alone, Japan was just inspiring on a certain level. Add to that the fact that this series has all the proper staples of a sports series without being so long it's hard to watch, and I'm hooked. Both times that I've sat through this series, I've very quickly marathoned through it because I just can't stop once I've started. That's how good it is for me.

24. Mitsudomoe

https://kitsu.io/anime/mitsudomoe

Now, I love me some comedy. But like anyone, my tastes in comedy can be hit or miss at times. I've dropped more than a couple shows where I just didn't get the joke. But when I do get the joke, oh man, it's all over. I'm sure this will be a running theme through this list, but there is one thing I can say about Mitsudomoe that I can't say about any other show on here. Never have I laughed so hard watching anime, and in every episode too. I'm talking big, laugh out loud, in tears and bawling from how funny things get. For some, the humor can surely be low-brow, even sick and disgusting at times, but not me. I just laughed my ass off and moved on to the next episode ready for more.

23. YuruYuri

https://kitsu.io/anime/yuru-yuri

I honestly almost took this off the list entirely. But then I thought back to why I kept up with this show as the OVAs and third season came out. While this series does pander to the less proper Yuri I mentioned above, it's not nearly as bad as some series I've watched. I almost feel like it's the missing link between the two camps of Yuri. It lacks that pure and innocent side, but it doesn't have the overly sexualized side to the degree that we usually see either. It mostly uses it for heartfelt moments or comedic effect, which is a lot more fun to watch. Also, the cast is just brilliant, the OP is catchy as all hell in most seasons and the animation looks great, even to the point where I didn't notice the studio change.

22. Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai!

https://kitsu.io/anime/chuunibyou-demo-koi-ga-shitai

Okay, simple answer to why I like this series. Because I was Rikka and Yuuta as a teenager. Not to that degree, of course, but I can relate to what it's like to want to be something you aren't and to live in my own world rather than face the harsh realities around me. Now if only I had been able to turn mine into a halfway decent harem in the process, hehe. But yeah, beyond that, I just love the way this series executes it's approach to these delusions, both from a story standpoint and from a visual standpoint. Showing us the world as it really is and as Rikka see's it was a wonderful touch and it still pleases me when I think about it. Also, the whole thing about how sweet and innocent the relationships in the seres were portrayed was just great. I know a lot of fans felt the series didn't pay off in the end. I, on the other hand, fell it went exactly where it should have given the personality traits of the characters involved.

21. Shiki

https://kitsu.io/anime/shiki

So, let's analyze this series for a second. It's about vampires, sorta. It holds a lot of the common tropes we all know to be true of vampire stories. But it does avoid some of them and change others to suit it's needs. It also makes sure that, while it's a very dark and depressing series, that has plenty of very bright and flashy elements to it to catch the eye, most notably, the truly unique hairstyles of townsfolk. These two things would probably send any hardcore fan of vampires running away long before the series can sink it's teeth into them. For those that look beyond these two things though, this is probably one of the better vampire stories out there, period. It retains so much of it's gothic roots while making sure it stays modern and original, creating this perfect blend of suspense and horror that even I, someone who is not usually a fan of said things, can be drawn in. Also, that first OP is just awesome, and the sole reason I'm slowly becoming a huge fan of Buck-Tick.

20. Space Dandy

https://kitsu.io/anime/space-dandy

This show has so many things for so many people in it that your enjoyment is pretty dependent on how many of those things click with you. For myself, there was only really one episode that didn't click with me, and even then I saw it as a bit of a spoof on things like it, so I wasn't too bored. Dandy just does so much right and checked so many boxes for me that to list all the reasons why I loved this series would be like writing a term paper, and I sure ain't doing that right now. Let's just say I love it for the boobies and be done with it, okay?

19. My Daddy Long Legs

https://kitsu.io/anime/my-daddy-long-legs

Anyone who knows me, knows my big passions outside of anime are music and reading. Music we'll touch on later. For now though, let's talk about books. Specifically, let's talk about classic literature. I'm sure anyone reading this has at some point taken a class where they had to read some old classic like Tom Sawyer or Little Women or something. Well, there's an anime version of quite a few of these classics held in a series known as World Masterpiece Theater. Now, I personally love these series, having seen a few of them now. They do a great job of presenting classics that I may or may not have read in a way that is entertaining while not taking too much away from the original story (usually). For myself, I've oddly found that I got the most enjoyment out of the ones from books I've never heard of or have very little passing knowledge of. My Daddy Long Legs is a book I've since picked up and enjoyed because of this series. I will say they changed a lot of details for reasons I'm not too clear on, but nonetheless, the series is very enjoyable and one I would definitely watch again. Judy is a great lead character and all the stuff she goes through to get where she does by the end is just inspiring. And on top of all that, this series got me to go out and buy the book it's based on. I can't say that for any other anime I've watched (not counting manga and light novel adaptations of course).

18. Nanaka 6/17

https://kitsu.io/anime/nanaka-6-17

I don't think I've ever thought so much about my own childhood as I did after watching this. It just amazed me. To have all the things I didn't know I'd forgotten pointed out in a very simple way like that was a life lesson I didn't see coming, and I love this series for that. Before, I would always have a reason to justify my doing something of importance to me. I can't just go buy a mandolin and attempt to learn to play it because it might be fun. There has to be a reason that sounds mature and responsible, right? Wrong. This show managed to remind me that there are times when it's okay, and possibly even the better option, to think more like a kid than an adult. The whole thing is done in such an adorable way too. I honestly felt for Nanaka through the whole series, watching her struggle with concepts that would boggle any kid if they were thrown into them, all while making the adults around her realize that they might be looking at it all wrong in the process.

17. Romeo no Aoi Sora

https://kitsu.io/anime/romeo-no-aoi-sora

And we're back with more World Masterpiece Theater action. This time it's a book I knew nothing about before I watched this, and one I'm realizing now that I never did get around to buying afterwards. I really must fix that. But yeah, I can say that I had a great time watching such a powerful story, with a great cast and a well executed ending. It was also a nice mini-group watch so there is that bit of fun to make sure this series sits up there as something memorable for me and the other two involved. There's just something that can't beat watching a series with some good friends.

16. Azumanga Daioh

https://kitsu.io/anime/azumanga-daioh

We'll surely be hearing about comedy a couple more times on this list. This one is a pretty charming series to watch though, and ranks with only a handful of other series where I've read the source material, I enjoyed it so much. I think what got me here is just how off the wall the comedy can be at times. The teachers are just nuts, but the students all have their own, err, quirks about them as well. It just all works out to this brand of insanity that draws you in with one thing and keeps you there with a dozen more. I also have to give it credit for being a 4-koma manga adaptation that doesn't feel like a ton of short comics tied together, while still being very true to the manga. It's weird how it pulled that off.

15. Macross 7

https://kitsu.io/anime/macross-7

Remember how I said we'd get back to music later. Well, here we are. I love music, so what better way to keep my attention than to base a series around the idea that music can stop evil and save the universe. And while I really want to acknowledge the entire Macross franchise here, I have to give special kudos to Macross 7, almost solely because it has the best soundtrack of the franchise, and a soundtrack in the top 5 of all anime I've ever seen. The tracks just rock, and fit well into the story as a whole. So well in fact, that one of the better tracks (in my opinion of course) has shown up in every Macross iteration since. I may be wrong, but I'm not sure anything from the original TV series managed to do that. Just a track from the movie, Do You Remember Love? (someone will surely prove me wrong on this, right?)

14. Super Sonico

https://kitsu.io/anime/super-sonico-the-animation

This is not on the list because of mindless T and A. This is on the list because it was the most unexpected slice of life miracle I've ever seen. Because it had a decent soundtrack. Because it devoted an entire episode to her pet cats. Because it knows how to take a character that looks like the ultimate fan-boy wet dream and make that one of the last things to cross your mind while watching it. Oh, and also because it has one of the best Christmas episodes in anime. If you haven't watched it because you think it's all about the fan-service, go watch it. If you still think I'm wrong, we can discuss it, but I think Episode 7 will be my winning card. Never have I been more surprised by the content of an episode than when that episode aired.

13. Steins;Gate

https://kitsu.io/anime/steins-gate

Time travel stories always fascinate me. If they're done especially well, I love them even more. While not the best time travel story I've ever come across (go read Tim Powers' novel, The Anubus Gates if you're curious), Steins;Gate is certainly very near the top of the list. With a very engaging cast and the kind of drama that I wish was present in any of the other series linked by the errant semicolon, I just have to keep coming back to this one. It was also one of my first anime when I really dove into the fandom a few years back and holds a bit of a nostalgia slot in my heart. Oh, and also, that soundtrack is just brilliant.

12. Nodame Cantabile

https://kitsu.io/anime/nodame-cantabile

Ah, Nodame Cantabile. This is actually the most recently watched anime to make this list. I honestly only competed it early this year. This one did so many things right for me though, so it easily made the list. To start, the music selection here is just about perfect for a show revolving around classical music. The choices weren't always super obvious picks, but they didn't get so obscure that a casual viewer would feel lost or bored. It was a mix of well known and not so much so, and being the huge music fanatic that I am, this was perfect. Add to this that Nodame is just so damn charming as a character and that the rest of the cast is so very enjoyable to watch interact, and you have something I could have easily plowed through in a couple of days. It was a real struggle not to fly through, instead really forcing myself to take some time with it. I'm so glad I did though. This show will not be forgotten by me or many that watched it.

11. Galaxy Express 999

https://kitsu.io/anime/galaxy-express-999

Okay, so I haven't actually finished this show yet. In fact, I've been watching it for nearly 3 years now and am only a smidge past the halfway point. So why is it on this list? Because it is that show that I can go to when I don't feel like watching anything else and just enjoy an episode in peace. There is an overarching story to the show, but for the most part, we only see that in the first couple episodes and brief reminders from the cast when something happens to remind us that this is why they are on the Galaxy Express, bound for the planet where Tetsuro can get a mechanical body for free. Otherwise, this show is just a lot of one-off stories, often with morals. This is where my love of the show comes in though (well, that, and the fact that I love Leiji Matsumoto's artistic style). I love these stories. They are not always complex, but they are very often surprising and unexpected, and told so very well. For a show from the late 70's, this one just blows me away sometimes, because I never think of it as a time when we'd get something like this. That's probably my bad western mindset towards animated shows of the time though, and I should be shamed for this. Still, this is a classic and I love it.

10. F

https://kitsu.io/anime/f

I wrote a big review on this series after I watched it, which I will link here.

https://kitsu.io/reviews/13194

The short version though, and why I love it so much, is that this is probably one of the best anime endings I've ever seen. The show is wild at times, and a bit unconventional in how it portrays the sport it's based around, but man, the rivalry between the main characters is just brilliant, and it ends so perfectly. I love it! I only wish this had a better fansub than it does. Someone really needs to fix this.

9. Aria

https://kitsu.io/anime/aria-the-animation

Wait, what!? Aria isn't number 1 anymore? You must be in shock over this if you know me and how long it's held that spot. Well, all I can say is that I really put a lot of thought into this list, and I realized something. I do really love Aria. It's a wonderful series with great stories, some of the best music in anime and a cast to die for. Still, I have 8 other shows that I would more quickly watch if given the choice. It sounds weird saying that, but that's how it is. My tastes have shifted a little and become more clear in the past year or so, and that's what moved Aria down the line. I love it for it's slice of life nature and the calm, peaceful stories it give us. It just doesn't have something else to really grab and hold me like other shows that pair in more drama or comedy, which seems to be where my tastes have gone. Still, I'll recommend this show to anyone that asks if I see it missing from their lists. It's a must watch, like every show in my top 10 (I will back this up if anyone dares question that statement).

8. Emma: A Victorian Romance

https://kitsu.io/anime/eikoku-koi-monogatari-emma

So, I really have a thing for British history and culture. It's one of my other big geek things besides music and anime. So of course, a show that feels like a mangaka tried to be Jane Austin for a while is obviously going to catch my attention. And as you can see, it was really, really good. Romance in anime is a genre unfortunately plagued by unfinished stories and plenty of bad tropes that we're all sick of. Emma takes a different track with it's Victorian romance styles, and I think it does it beautifully. The cast is very enjoyable, the story moves along properly and the romance is a wonderful thing to watch unfold. And of course, it has a proper ending! I also have to give a shout out to this series for great accuracy in historical detail. So many sites of old London town were brought to life here, which was a joy to see.

7. Nichijou

https://kitsu.io/anime/nichijou

And speaking of British culture, well, okay, Nichijou doesn't have any link to it. If ever there was a series that feels like I'm watching an anime rendition of Monty Python's Flying Circus though, this would be it. There are totally random side jokes and stories that go nowhere, jokes that start in one sketch and end up in another one, and a sort of humor that doesn't feel Japanese at all, aside from the setting. Maybe this is why, for the longest time, the only western release of this show was in Australia. Hmm? Anyways, this show makes me happy when I watch it, with much laughter included. The cast is something I can't even begin start praising and the art style is just amazing for a weekly show. If you haven't seen this yet, I dare ask you, “Why not!?”

6. Cross Game

https://kitsu.io/anime/cross-game

Best first episode ever! Simple as that. If you aren't hooked and ready for more by the end of that episode, you might as well hand in your anime fanboy ID card and find a new hobby. Seriously though, this show is just amazing, starting with that first episode, and just building from there. The cast is near perfection, the story is not nearly what you would expect from a sports anime and the culmination of the series just works so well. I honestly could not be more pleased with a show. Also, it has a song for drawing the cat and shows off fan art. How cool is that?

5. Eden of the East

https://kitsu.io/anime/eden-of-the-east

Eden of the East is a show I didn't really think about putting on my favorites for a long time. Then I realized I had been rewatching every year, and enjoying it just as much every time. I don't know exactly why I like it so much. It's just kindof become that show that I have a mood for, put on and have a good time for a couple days. I think it's just a combination of a fun cast and an interesting story with lots of movie references that I actually get. Then again, this could be another case of a series that I watched early on in my return to anime and it holds some nostalgic value. Either way, I think it's great.

4. Yawara!

https://kitsu.io/anime/yawara

I'm sure most would not pick this as their series of choice from Naoki Urasawa, but dammit, it's so good! And I don't even like Judo. But then I watched Yawara and found it to be the most interesting sport for a few months. Then again, this series isn't just here for making me like a sport I knew nothing about. It's here because it mixes that up with an intriguing romance plot and a great cast of characters that I'll never forget. Also, it did a great job of fleshing out side characters that I honestly didn't expect. It pleased me so much with two particular characters because one deserved the attention and the other grew so much from the bumbling idiot he started out as. It was just amazing to watch.

3. Working!!

https://kitsu.io/anime/working-1

You know those series you relate to because you've been there and done that. Working is that series for me. I mean, my food service jobs were nothing nearly as insane as this series, but I can relate so much to the things that happen at Wagnaria. The cast encompass so many of the types of people that I've dealt with, only with the insanity knob turned to 11. This series also gets a nod from me for having some of the catchiest opening themes I've ever seen. Not the best, mind you, but damn if I didn't watch them every freaking time.

2. Maison Ikkoku

https://kitsu.io/anime/maison-ikkoku

Right, now we're in to the really tricky entry for me. I really, really wanted this to be number 1. I loved so much about this series when I watched it. I relate so much to Godai and his struggles, more so than nearly any other anime character I can think of with the possible exception of Anna in When Marnie Was There (but that's a whole other list). I understand what it's like to be in a crappy living situation with people that drive you up the wall on a daily basis with no regard for your personal space. I know the struggles of trying to make it through college. And like a lot of us, I understand the desires love gives us, even when they seem unrealistic and someone else is trying to get the same girl you want (granted, my experience with this one ended up much worse in the end, but yeah). These alone are big reasons why I absolutely love the series. But there's more. The cast is just a joy to watch, from the most annoying characters on up to all of my favorites. There is plenty of off the wall comedy like any good Rumiko Takahashi series, but there is so much heart behind her work, and nowhere else do I see that than in this series. It is the perfect romantic comedy as far as I'm concerned, and a joy to watch through. This is also the only anime, because it's out of print in the west, that I would more than willingly drop the money to buy on DVD (that price currently being well beyond $1000 last I checked). That's how much I love this show. It would be number 1, except that number 1 happens to be...

1. Ichigo Mashimaro

https://kitsu.io/anime/ichigo-mashimaro

Remember way back in the honorable mentions section, how I talked about that whole single parent slice of life subgenre that I love so much? Well, this series is kinda one of those. I mean, not totally since there is some indication that there are parents around. We never see them though, so this show is really all about an older sibling taking care of her younger sister and her friends. Of course, this group of characters works in such a way as to make sure that only the best possible comedy happens whenever possible. I can't even describe the joy it gives me in these moments. The jokes just have me in stitches. But there is an equal amount of heart in the show as well. It still has my absolute favorite Christmas episode ever. For all the jokes in that episode, the innocence it portrays and the care that most of the characters go to to protect that is just a thing of beauty. So yes, I love this show. Often times, it is the show that I drag out first when someone asks for a recommendation, and I've yet to get anything but a good response when said persons finish the show. And if that's not enough to show my love, well then, how about this. This is the only anime that I own twice. I bought a DVD box set back when it was still out of print, and then I bought a copy of the Blurays when Sentai Filmworks picked it up last year. I have not gone to the trouble to do this kind of upgrade for any other series, and probably will not, even though I have many series that I can now upgrade. This is the only one I see a reason to have done so. And believe me, it was so worth it! It feels so great to finally have the OVAs for this series too.

And with that, it looks like we're done. If you made it this far, I really want to thank you for reading all of that (unless you skimmed through it all, then shame on you, I put a lot of work into this and now you hurt my feelings). While this is of course, only my list, I'm feeling brave enough to ask what you guys think? Do you agree with anything? Disagree with a reason better than “It's Shit!” or any other mean spirited remark? Should I do a list like this for movies or OVAs? Whatever it is, I'd love to hear it. So thanks again, and take care!

[leehaws]

The Outlet Pass: The Draymond Green Trade Machine Edition

So, What is Draymond Green’s Trade Value?

In the aftermath of a verbal dispute between Kevin Durant and Draymond Green that still may turn into something more and has already yielded one suspension while puncturing Golden State’s aura of invincibility, all eyes are on Durant’s free agency. Is this the pivotable moment that will push him out the door, onward to New York City or Los Angeles or whichever city will next be blessed by his inextinguishable knack for introducing a basketball to the inside of a rim?

Speculation in this case is a tad premature, but the stakes are high enough to allow it. (A dynasty hangs in the balance!) Even though we haven’t reached Thanksgiving, it always felt like Golden State needed to have a hand in its own demise; they’re too talented to be done in by a superior opponent. There’s still time for cooler heads to prevail—Steph Curry’s health-related on-court absence from the equation shouldn’t go unnoticed—but the entire situation allows another question to creep into the periphery: What is Draymond’s trade value?

This isn’t to say Golden State should or will trade the perennial Defensive Player of the Year candidate just to appease the unappeasable Durant. But it’s worth wondering what they could get, or would even want, in return. And outside the Bay Area’s cushy confines, where he’s ascended alongside the two greatest shooters who ever lived, what would Draymond even look in another team’s jersey?

Green will make $17.4 million this year and $18.5 million in 2019-20 before he becomes a 30-year-old unrestricted free agent. He never was a traditional All-Star, someone who can roll out of bed every morning with 20 points in their back pocket. Green’s value is instead very real and very specific to everything that makes Golden State so free and spacious. It’s not fair to ask if the Detroit Pistons would be better with Green instead of Blake Griffin, but the answer to that question is “no,” even though most league observers probably think Draymond’s overall on-court impact is more beneficial.

Even though he’s a three-time All-Star in his prime with nearly two years left on his deal, Green couldn’t fetch what the Cleveland Cavaliers received for Kyrie Irving or the Chicago Bulls got for Jimmy Butler. A lottery pick feels out of the question. But how do you weigh a key ingredient for the greatest team ever beside the temper that may be responsible for said team’s downfall? He’s one of four players averaging at least seven points, seven assists, and seven rebounds right now (the other three are Russell Westbrook, Ben Simmons, and LeBron James), but is also shooting 24 percent from deep with the fourth-worst turnover rate in the league.

Every dynasty that intends to stay on top must eventually alter its fundamental makeup on the fly. Having signed Durant, the Warriors (and Green!) know this better than anyone else. But their decision to publicly embarrass a franchise icon the way they did could reverberate in a way they couldn’t see, despite existing light years ahead of the competition.

What if Durant, suddenly emboldened by the call to reprimand Draymond, tells Bob Myers that he doesn’t want to leave. That he’s willing to re-sign long-term so long as Green is gone. And when does Green’s next contract complicate matters to the point where the fear of losing him for nothing/locking him up on an expensive, untradeable deal becomes too much? What are some hypothetical trades that make sense? Do they exist? I’m honestly not sure. Most teams that are in the time of their life cycle to have interest in Green can’t give the Warriors what they’d want in return, or have the type of salaries on their books to make it work (i.e. the Denver Nuggets, New Orleans Pelicans, Washington Wizards, Oklahoma City Thunder, San Antonio Spurs, Los Angeles Lakers, and Houston Rockets).

But here are a few that, while flawed (repeat: these are flawed and mostly unrealistic because Draymond’s monetary value and skill-set are not easy to trade!) are fun enough to wonder about:

Portland Trail Blazers get: Draymond Green

Golden State Warriors get: Zach Collins, Al-Farouq Aminu, and Moe Harkless

How much more enjoyable will the NBA playoffs be if this trade happens? Golden State (possibly) sustains its standing in the short-term while looking towards the future with a cost-controlled blue chipper who can pass, shoot, and protect the basket. Portland ostensibly lands the missing piece it needs to make a legitimate playoff run without breaking up its backcourt duo.

Miami Heat get: Draymond Green

Golden State Warriors get: Kelly Olynyk and Justise Winslow

There’s no logical rationale behind this trade. I just want to see Draymond mixed with Heat culture.

Sacramento Kings get: Draymond Green

Golden State Warriors get: Marvin Bagley III, Bogdan Bogdanovic

Obviously terrible for Sacramento but this organization feels due for an obviously terrible move. Bagley III may not ever be good, but it’s so rare for a team as great as the Warriors to add a prospect with that much potential. It makes them significantly worse for the rest of this season, but would it cost them the title? At the very least, Golden State could turn around and use Bagley III as a trade chip to add more immediate help.

Brooklyn Nets gets: Draymond Green

Golden State Warriors get: Spencer Dinwiddie and DeMarre Carroll

For an organization that may not want to sit around and test free agency, this is one way to spice up their relevance while selling high on a talented guard whose skill-set overlaps with D’Angelo Russell and Caris LeVert. LeVert’s injury stalled Brooklyn’s metamorphosis into a frisky playoff team this season, but next year, with LeVert, Green, Jarrett Allen, and a lottery pick? They wouldn’t be bad!

Utah Jazz get: Draymond Green

Golden State Warriors get: Jae Crowder, Grayson Allen, and Thabo Sefolosha

A decent rookie plus a serviceable small-ball four plus a veteran who doesn’t really play anymore? That sounds like a reasonable package. Of course, sending Green to a team that has Golden State in its crosshairs probably isn’t realistic. (That goes for Portland, too.) Either way, just imagine a frontcourt that pairs the last two Defensive Players of the Year, while solving Utah’s long-standing issue that is Gobert at the five in crunchtime of a critical playoff game. The Jazz slice into their cap space and shouldn’t feel confident about retaining Green once he hits unrestricted free agency in 2020, but until then they would be the league’s most intriguing title contender. The Warriors save money and get better (?) on offense.

Tom Thibodeau: Stranger in a Strange Land

Say what you will about Jimmy Butler’s behavior, multiple generations of corrosive dysfunction, and every other obstacle Tom Thibodeau has faced since he became President of Basketball Operations for the Minnesota Timberwolves—some of which was clearly self-constructed—but the team’s putrid defense is impossible to ignore.

The Timberwolves have the worst defense in the NBA, and are surrendering about four more points per 100 possessions than they did four years ago, when…they finished with the worst defense in the NBA. Teams are brutalizing Minnesota on the offensive glass and taking total advantage of their non-existent hustle back in transition. Their only five-man unit that’s played major minutes and come close to yielding dignified results was Butler + The Bench, and that group no longer exists.

Not all the blame can rest on Thibodeau—Karl-Anthony Towns is still at his best chasing shots to block and, as ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski pointed out on a recent podcast, Andrew Wiggins doesn’t appear to enjoy playing basketball—but the team has yet to resemble one that knows how to defend uncomplicated NBA offense.

What exactly is Derrick Rose doing here? Does he think he should switch onto Iman Shumpert? Does he see Kosta Koufous through the corner of his eye and anticipate having to guard a high pick-and-roll? For whatever reason, Rose being this far from where he should against a speed demon like De’Aaron Fox is instant death. Plays like it aren’t uncommon.

They’re allowing 1.13 points per possession after a made shot while opponents gallop by at the third-fastest tempo in the league, per Inpredictable. They make no effort to match up and hardly ever sprint back. The play below came seconds after a Towns dunk, and they can’t even use poor floor balance as an excuse! It’s not new for the Thibs Timberwolves, but it’s still disturbing.

He entered this job as a revolutionary defensive tactician, someone whose militaristic instructions could squeeze water from a brick. But how does a league that’s never been more open about its desire to make life easy for offenses impact Thibodeau’s stock if/when he loses his job? Can he build a top-notch defense in today’s NBA, which looks much different from what it was when he was Doc Rivers’s assistant in Boston or head coach of the Chicago Bulls? Or did poor personnel decisions spell out his own doom?

Philly Helps Ben Simmons by Getting the Ball Out of His Hands

Ben Simmons is 22 years old and—according to some smart people, including his own general manager—one of the world’s 20 best players. He’s already won Rookie of the Year, one playoff series, and only Russell Westbrook and LeBron James have more triple-doubles since his career debut. If he doesn’t go down as one of the 10 best passers his size (6’10”, for those unaware) who ever lived it’ll be a wild disappointment.

He’ll always be a unique mismatch who terrorizes defenses caught between stopping his momentum and realizing the moment they do he’s going to fling a dart out to the three-point line, or put one of his teammates in a hot-air balloon to cram home a lob. On defense, Simmons’s height and build allow the Philadelphia 76ers to stick him on opposing centers (Al Horford, Myles Turner, etc.) when they need to hide Joel Embiid on someone who isn’t as threatening in the pick and roll. He’s very good and special and the 76ers should feel blessed to have him on their team.

But if last year was a hazily appealing honeymoon, the earliest returns on Simmons’s sophomore season have sometimes felt like the first valley in a marriage that’s yet to experience any conflict; an unsettling realization that the notable hitches in his game won’t improve anytime soon—he and Philly are officially in this through good times and bad. Regardless of how physically imposing, rare, and breathtaking Simmons can be, building a championship contender with someone who can’t shoot as a focal point is exceptionally difficult. It helped spur Saturday’s blockbuster trade for Jimmy Butler and, regardless of what the team says, has made Markelle Fultz expendable. This year, Philadelphia has the 26th best offense in the league with Simmons on the court (on par with the tanktastic New York Knicks). They play like a 36-win team with him and a 48-win team without him. (When Embiid isn’t on the court but Simmons is, the Sixers have the worst offense and worst defense in the NBA.)

Philly still likes to get Simmons going downhill, usually to his left, with a J.J. Redick ball screen near the free-throw line. It’s a tricky but increasingly predictable action that most defenses are starting to spot from a mile away, especially as they use it more and more towards the end of quarters. Here’s the best-case scenario: Malcolm Brogdon deciding Fultz is a threat in the weak-side corner.

More often than not, teams will either switch the screen and force Simmons/Redick to go one-on-one, or the floor will be too congested for him to do much of anything. Watch Michael Kidd-Gilchrist below.

It’s early, we’re months away from the trade deadline and buyout market. Someone like Kyle Korver can really help. But a smart thing Brett Brown has done to mitigate Philly’s shortage of outside shooting is use Simmons more as an off-ball scorer. That sounds insane, but this is less about his gravity flying off a pin-down and more about physical duck-ins and and the most intimidating Hawk cut in the league.

The sequence seen above is similar to what the Oklahoma City Thunder ran last season as a way to involve Carmelo Anthony, Paul George, and Russell Westbrook. (As covered by Ben Falk over at Cleaning the Glass.) Embiid screens for Simmons near the elbow and gifts him a free dash into the paint.

Below, the Indiana Pacers are ready for it. Bojan Bogdanovic spins under Embiid’s pick while Myles Turner drops a bit, ready to absorb Simmons’s cut. The Sixers shrug their shoulders and get a layup.

As Brown tinkers with different ways to accentuate Simmons’s nightmarish athleticism (while obscuring his setbacks) in lineups that feature Embiid and Butler, look for this more and more.

According to Synergy Sports, post-ups and cuts accounted for 18.2 percent of Simmons’s possessions last year. Right now they’re at 28.4 percent, with Brown stacking his playbook with more ways to let Simmons attack from spots on the floor where he’s comfortable. This baseline out of bounds set is a great example.

Simmons inbounds the ball and then immediately carves out post position for an entry pass. Simple, yet effective! But these actions aren’t enough to prop up Philadelphia’s offense and ultimately nullify an aesthetic that’s occasionally drowsy. Don’t let anyone ever tell you Simmons’s inability to shoot doesn’t matter, be it from the corner, elbow, or free-throw line. He’s awesome and has found ways to overcome it, but defenses know he isn’t willing to pull-up from 15 feet and they guard him as such. That’s more wart than novelty. Shooting helps! But harnessing his physicality on the block, along with different ways to leverage his speed in a half-court setting, is wise. They should/will lean into it even more now that Butler is on board.

All the Wizards Have is John Wall and Bradley Beal’s Subtle Chemistry

The Washington Wizards have won three in a row, but don’t let that distract you from the fact that they’re still an indifferent collection of untenable contracts. They don’t seem to care or try, and when they do it’s laughably stubborn. (So, you don’t think I can make this unnecessarily difficult pull-up two? Watch this!) Put on a Wizards game for ten minutes and your first takeaway should be that they desperately want to flex on the world but don’t have a gym membership. Steps are missing. Corners get cut. (In one recent play against the Orlando Magic, Washington surrendered a put-back dunk after Bradley Beal’s shoe came off and “prevented” him from hustling back into the frame.)

Their carelessness is underlined by bizarre lineup decisions—that include Scott Brooks’s penchant to play all-bench groups that have so far been outscored by (what follows is not a misprint) 29.3 points per 100 possessions—and a frustratingly fine point guard who’s powerful enough to take over a game while also being the number one reason it slips through his team’s fingers.

But hope lives in even the darkest corners of the NBA. And as inconsequential as it might be, flashes of chemistry between Washington’s two best players have provided a fleeting semblance of expertise commonly associated with professional athletics.

In both plays seen below, subtlety is key. Beal’s defender is primarily concerned with letting him race up off a down screen to either curl into the paint or stop cold for a jumper. Tyler Johnson sees Dwight Howard coming and all he’s thinking about is that pick, and how he can get over on it. John Wall knows this.

Terrence Ross is similarly positioning in the next example, but this one is a bit more scripted. As Wall dribbles up the floor, he points to his right, where Austin Rivers is jogging around Kelly Oubre and Jeff Green. The intention is not for Rivers to catch the ball, though. Instead, his purpose is to clear out one side of the floor, force several of Orlando’s defenders to focus on his movement, and let Beal fall into an easy layup.

Wall drops in a beauty, and Beal gets his easiest two points of the night. These reads won’t save Washington’s season, but, at the very least, they prove the Wizards (might) have a pulse.

What is Wrong With Terry Rozier?

Terry Rozier has range, athleticism, and the reflexes of a cat. He can pull up from 26 feet or knife towards the elbow and elevate over whoever’s guarding him. He loops the ball as he dribbles, yo-yo-ing it in place with enough command and elegance to make you stop and count how many players rival his authority over any given possession. He does what/gets where he wants and fluidly snakes pick and rolls with the best of them. He thrives in narrow spaces without turning it over and his toolbox has it all: filthy hesitation moves, a nasty between-the-legs crossover, the type of step-back that should/might be illegal. Before he went 0-for-5 on Wednesday against the Bulls, Rozier was making a career-best 42.6 percent of his threes.

Everything written above is true. It’s also irrelevant. Through the first month of his fourth season (the last before his next contract), Rozier’s potency has stalled. In 13 fewer minutes than he averaged throughout last year’s breathtaking postseason run, the 24-year-old’s weaknesses have amplified as he familiarizes himself with a new life as Kyrie Irving’s backup, struggling to identify his own responsibilities off the bench.

His game is a laundry list of needless split-second compromises. Rozier bails out defenders with jump shots that haven’t been falling, and rushes through motions that otherwise make him unguardable. He’s playing on an edge nobody else can see. Instead of dribbling into the paint and lofting a high floater over shot blockers who want him to take that exact shot, as seen below, why not sprinkle some craft and misdirection into his game by pump-faking his way to the free-throw line?

Or instead of taking that shot, why not string out the play by dribbling into the corner, forcing Meyers Leonard to switch, then breaking him down from the perimeter, forcing help and creating an open look elsewhere? This play is not an unusual one for Rozier. He’s either needlessly scrambling or uselessly placid, trying to fit in when the Celtics need him to stand out.

It’s common for players to let poor shooting/scoring numbers bleed into other parts of their game, but Rozier can’t afford to let that happen. He’s declined as a passer and for reasons that aren’t clear, has looked less comfortable than ever attacking the rim. His offensive rebound rate is less than half what it was last year, a crime given how dynamic he tends to be on the glass.

Rozier isn’t the only Celtic struggling, but he’s the most likely to get traded. And if this version of his game lingers for much longer, it’s unclear why another team will be willing to surrender anything of value for the right to pay his next contract.

Brook Lopez’s 3-Point Range is Madness

Look how far Brook Lopez is standing from the rim!

The furthest every NBA three-point line extends from the rim is 23.75 feet. (It’s 22 feet from the corners.) Lopez has already made three shots from at least 28 feet away! This isn’t totally new—he took 16 from that distance last season—but his range is noticeably expanding in a way that’s turned him into Milwaukee’s very own/slightly taller Ryan Anderson. Even in today’s era, this feels synthetic. Like, he’s taken and made as many 30-footers as Klay Thompson, Kyrie Irving, and Chris Paul. How is any of this real life?

Jabari Parker is Playing Defense, Kinda!

It’s too soon to say if this is small-sample-size theater or just one player’s overnight transformation into Spider-Man, but Parker is allowing the fewest points per possession in isolation among all non bigs in the entire league, per Synergy Sports. In 28 possessions, opposing players have only made five shots with Parker as their primary defender. (Those who rank above? Anthony Davis, Rudy Gobert, Wendell Carter Jr., and Domas Sabonis.)

The numbers might sound like a fluke but actually watch Parker do work and his quick hands and twitchy feet make this all feel somewhat sustainable. Here he is against James Harden and Jayson Tatum, two of the most difficult one-on-one covers in basketball.

Parker is jumpy, but in a good way, beating his man to spots after he boldly gets into their body to take away their shot. He displays a lateral quickness that, frankly, looks alien in his body. (Last season, Parker ranked 228th out of 263 players who defended at least 30 iso possessions. The year before that he was 268 out of 280.)

This is a far cry from claiming Parker is or will ever be a plus defender. But he’s only 23 and the Bulls have been better (but still bad) on that end when he’s on the floor. This might be more than nothing.

The Outlet Pass: The Draymond Green Trade Machine Edition syndicated from https://justinbetreviews.wordpress.com/

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The Outlet Pass: The Draymond Green Trade Machine Edition

So, What is Draymond Green’s Trade Value?

In the aftermath of a verbal dispute between Kevin Durant and Draymond Green that still may turn into something more and has already yielded one suspension while puncturing Golden State’s aura of invincibility, all eyes are on Durant’s free agency. Is this the pivotable moment that will push him out the door, onward to New York City or Los Angeles or whichever city will next be blessed by his inextinguishable knack for introducing a basketball to the inside of a rim?

Speculation in this case is a tad premature, but the stakes are high enough to allow it. (A dynasty hangs in the balance!) Even though we haven’t reached Thanksgiving, it always felt like Golden State needed to have a hand in its own demise; they’re too talented to be done in by a superior opponent. There’s still time for cooler heads to prevail—Steph Curry's health-related on-court absence from the equation shouldn’t go unnoticed—but the entire situation allows another question to creep into the periphery: What is Draymond’s trade value?

This isn’t to say Golden State should or will trade the perennial Defensive Player of the Year candidate just to appease the unappeasable Durant. But it’s worth wondering what they could get, or would even want, in return. And outside the Bay Area’s cushy confines, where he’s ascended alongside the two greatest shooters who ever lived, what would Draymond even look in another team’s jersey?

Green will make $17.4 million this year and $18.5 million in 2019-20 before he becomes a 30-year-old unrestricted free agent. He never was a traditional All-Star, someone who can roll out of bed every morning with 20 points in their back pocket. Green’s value is instead very real and very specific to everything that makes Golden State so free and spacious. It’s not fair to ask if the Detroit Pistons would be better with Green instead of Blake Griffin, but the answer to that question is “no,” even though most league observers probably think Draymond’s overall on-court impact is more beneficial.

Even though he’s a three-time All-Star in his prime with nearly two years left on his deal, Green couldn’t fetch what the Cleveland Cavaliers received for Kyrie Irving or the Chicago Bulls got for Jimmy Butler. A lottery pick feels out of the question. But how do you weigh a key ingredient for the greatest team ever beside the temper that may be responsible for said team’s downfall? He’s one of four players averaging at least seven points, seven assists, and seven rebounds right now (the other three are Russell Westbrook, Ben Simmons, and LeBron James), but is also shooting 24 percent from deep with the fourth-worst turnover rate in the league.

Every dynasty that intends to stay on top must eventually alter its fundamental makeup on the fly. Having signed Durant, the Warriors (and Green!) know this better than anyone else. But their decision to publicly embarrass a franchise icon the way they did could reverberate in a way they couldn’t see, despite existing light years ahead of the competition.

What if Durant, suddenly emboldened by the call to reprimand Draymond, tells Bob Myers that he doesn’t want to leave. That he’s willing to re-sign long-term so long as Green is gone. And when does Green’s next contract complicate matters to the point where the fear of losing him for nothing/locking him up on an expensive, untradeable deal becomes too much? What are some hypothetical trades that make sense? Do they exist? I’m honestly not sure. Most teams that are in the time of their life cycle to have interest in Green can’t give the Warriors what they’d want in return, or have the type of salaries on their books to make it work (i.e. the Denver Nuggets, New Orleans Pelicans, Washington Wizards, Oklahoma City Thunder, San Antonio Spurs, Los Angeles Lakers, and Houston Rockets).

But here are a few that, while flawed (repeat: these are flawed and mostly unrealistic because Draymond’s monetary value and skill-set are not easy to trade!) are fun enough to wonder about:

Portland Trail Blazers get: Draymond Green

Golden State Warriors get: Zach Collins, Al-Farouq Aminu, and Moe Harkless

How much more enjoyable will the NBA playoffs be if this trade happens? Golden State (possibly) sustains its standing in the short-term while looking towards the future with a cost-controlled blue chipper who can pass, shoot, and protect the basket. Portland ostensibly lands the missing piece it needs to make a legitimate playoff run without breaking up its backcourt duo.

Miami Heat get: Draymond Green

Golden State Warriors get: Kelly Olynyk and Justise Winslow

There’s no logical rationale behind this trade. I just want to see Draymond mixed with Heat culture.

Sacramento Kings get: Draymond Green

Golden State Warriors get: Marvin Bagley III, Bogdan Bogdanovic

Obviously terrible for Sacramento but this organization feels due for an obviously terrible move. Bagley III may not ever be good, but it’s so rare for a team as great as the Warriors to add a prospect with that much potential. It makes them significantly worse for the rest of this season, but would it cost them the title? At the very least, Golden State could turn around and use Bagley III as a trade chip to add more immediate help.

Brooklyn Nets gets: Draymond Green

Golden State Warriors get: Spencer Dinwiddie and DeMarre Carroll

For an organization that may not want to sit around and test free agency, this is one way to spice up their relevance while selling high on a talented guard whose skill-set overlaps with D’Angelo Russell and Caris LeVert. LeVert’s injury stalled Brooklyn’s metamorphosis into a frisky playoff team this season, but next year, with LeVert, Green, Jarrett Allen, and a lottery pick? They wouldn’t be bad!

Utah Jazz get: Draymond Green

Golden State Warriors get: Jae Crowder, Grayson Allen, and Thabo Sefolosha

A decent rookie plus a serviceable small-ball four plus a veteran who doesn’t really play anymore? That sounds like a reasonable package. Of course, sending Green to a team that has Golden State in its crosshairs probably isn’t realistic. (That goes for Portland, too.) Either way, just imagine a frontcourt that pairs the last two Defensive Players of the Year, while solving Utah’s long-standing issue that is Gobert at the five in crunchtime of a critical playoff game. The Jazz slice into their cap space and shouldn’t feel confident about retaining Green once he hits unrestricted free agency in 2020, but until then they would be the league’s most intriguing title contender. The Warriors save money and get better (?) on offense.

Tom Thibodeau: Stranger in a Strange Land

Say what you will about Jimmy Butler's behavior, multiple generations of corrosive dysfunction, and every other obstacle Tom Thibodeau has faced since he became President of Basketball Operations for the Minnesota Timberwolves—some of which was clearly self-constructed—but the team’s putrid defense is impossible to ignore.

The Timberwolves have the worst defense in the NBA, and are surrendering about four more points per 100 possessions than they did four years ago, when...they finished with the worst defense in the NBA. Teams are brutalizing Minnesota on the offensive glass and taking total advantage of their non-existent hustle back in transition. Their only five-man unit that’s played major minutes and come close to yielding dignified results was Butler + The Bench, and that group no longer exists.

Not all the blame can rest on Thibodeau—Karl-Anthony Towns is still at his best chasing shots to block and, as ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski pointed out on a recent podcast, Andrew Wiggins doesn’t appear to enjoy playing basketball—but the team has yet to resemble one that knows how to defend uncomplicated NBA offense.

What exactly is Derrick Rose doing here? Does he think he should switch onto Iman Shumpert? Does he see Kosta Koufous through the corner of his eye and anticipate having to guard a high pick-and-roll? For whatever reason, Rose being this far from where he should against a speed demon like De’Aaron Fox is instant death. Plays like it aren’t uncommon.

They’re allowing 1.13 points per possession after a made shot while opponents gallop by at the third-fastest tempo in the league, per Inpredictable. They make no effort to match up and hardly ever sprint back. The play below came seconds after a Towns dunk, and they can't even use poor floor balance as an excuse! It's not new for the Thibs Timberwolves, but it’s still disturbing.

He entered this job as a revolutionary defensive tactician, someone whose militaristic instructions could squeeze water from a brick. But how does a league that’s never been more open about its desire to make life easy for offenses impact Thibodeau’s stock if/when he loses his job? Can he build a top-notch defense in today's NBA, which looks much different from what it was when he was Doc Rivers's assistant in Boston or head coach of the Chicago Bulls? Or did poor personnel decisions spell out his own doom?

Philly Helps Ben Simmons by Getting the Ball Out of His Hands

Ben Simmons is 22 years old and—according to some smart people, including his own general manager—one of the world's 20 best players. He’s already won Rookie of the Year, one playoff series, and only Russell Westbrook and LeBron James have more triple-doubles since his career debut. If he doesn’t go down as one of the 10 best passers his size (6’10”, for those unaware) who ever lived it’ll be a wild disappointment.

He'll always be a unique mismatch who terrorizes defenses caught between stopping his momentum and realizing the moment they do he’s going to fling a dart out to the three-point line, or put one of his teammates in a hot-air balloon to cram home a lob. On defense, Simmons’s height and build allow the Philadelphia 76ers to stick him on opposing centers (Al Horford, Myles Turner, etc.) when they need to hide Joel Embiid on someone who isn’t as threatening in the pick and roll. He’s very good and special and the 76ers should feel blessed to have him on their team.

But if last year was a hazily appealing honeymoon, the earliest returns on Simmons’s sophomore season have sometimes felt like the first valley in a marriage that’s yet to experience any conflict; an unsettling realization that the notable hitches in his game won’t improve anytime soon—he and Philly are officially in this through good times and bad. Regardless of how physically imposing, rare, and breathtaking Simmons can be, building a championship contender with someone who can’t shoot as a focal point is exceptionally difficult. It helped spur Saturday’s blockbuster trade for Jimmy Butler and, regardless of what the team says, has made Markelle Fultz expendable. This year, Philadelphia has the 26th best offense in the league with Simmons on the court (on par with the tanktastic New York Knicks). They play like a 36-win team with him and a 48-win team without him. (When Embiid isn’t on the court but Simmons is, the Sixers have the worst offense and worst defense in the NBA.)

Philly still likes to get Simmons going downhill, usually to his left, with a J.J. Redick ball screen near the free-throw line. It’s a tricky but increasingly predictable action that most defenses are starting to spot from a mile away, especially as they use it more and more towards the end of quarters. Here’s the best-case scenario: Malcolm Brogdon deciding Fultz is a threat in the weak-side corner.

More often than not, teams will either switch the screen and force Simmons/Redick to go one-on-one, or the floor will be too congested for him to do much of anything. Watch Michael Kidd-Gilchrist below.

It’s early, we’re months away from the trade deadline and buyout market. Someone like Kyle Korver can really help. But a smart thing Brett Brown has done to mitigate Philly's shortage of outside shooting is use Simmons more as an off-ball scorer. That sounds insane, but this is less about his gravity flying off a pin-down and more about physical duck-ins and and the most intimidating Hawk cut in the league.

The sequence seen above is similar to what the Oklahoma City Thunder ran last season as a way to involve Carmelo Anthony, Paul George, and Russell Westbrook. (As covered by Ben Falk over at Cleaning the Glass.) Embiid screens for Simmons near the elbow and gifts him a free dash into the paint.

Below, the Indiana Pacers are ready for it. Bojan Bogdanovic spins under Embiid’s pick while Myles Turner drops a bit, ready to absorb Simmons’s cut. The Sixers shrug their shoulders and get a layup.

As Brown tinkers with different ways to accentuate Simmons’s nightmarish athleticism (while obscuring his setbacks) in lineups that feature Embiid and Butler, look for this more and more.

According to Synergy Sports, post-ups and cuts accounted for 18.2 percent of Simmons’s possessions last year. Right now they’re at 28.4 percent, with Brown stacking his playbook with more ways to let Simmons attack from spots on the floor where he’s comfortable. This baseline out of bounds set is a great example.

Simmons inbounds the ball and then immediately carves out post position for an entry pass. Simple, yet effective! But these actions aren’t enough to prop up Philadelphia’s offense and ultimately nullify an aesthetic that’s occasionally drowsy. Don’t let anyone ever tell you Simmons’s inability to shoot doesn’t matter, be it from the corner, elbow, or free-throw line. He's awesome and has found ways to overcome it, but defenses know he isn't willing to pull-up from 15 feet and they guard him as such. That's more wart than novelty. Shooting helps! But harnessing his physicality on the block, along with different ways to leverage his speed in a half-court setting, is wise. They should/will lean into it even more now that Butler is on board.

All the Wizards Have is John Wall and Bradley Beal’s Subtle Chemistry

The Washington Wizards have won three in a row, but don't let that distract you from the fact that they're still an indifferent collection of untenable contracts. They don’t seem to care or try, and when they do it’s laughably stubborn. (So, you don't think I can make this unnecessarily difficult pull-up two? Watch this!) Put on a Wizards game for ten minutes and your first takeaway should be that they desperately want to flex on the world but don’t have a gym membership. Steps are missing. Corners get cut. (In one recent play against the Orlando Magic, Washington surrendered a put-back dunk after Bradley Beal’s shoe came off and “prevented” him from hustling back into the frame.)

Their carelessness is underlined by bizarre lineup decisions—that include Scott Brooks’s penchant to play all-bench groups that have so far been outscored by (what follows is not a misprint) 29.3 points per 100 possessions—and a frustratingly fine point guard who’s powerful enough to take over a game while also being the number one reason it slips through his team’s fingers.

But hope lives in even the darkest corners of the NBA. And as inconsequential as it might be, flashes of chemistry between Washington’s two best players have provided a fleeting semblance of expertise commonly associated with professional athletics.

In both plays seen below, subtlety is key. Beal’s defender is primarily concerned with letting him race up off a down screen to either curl into the paint or stop cold for a jumper. Tyler Johnson sees Dwight Howard coming and all he’s thinking about is that pick, and how he can get over on it. John Wall knows this.

Terrence Ross is similarly positioning in the next example, but this one is a bit more scripted. As Wall dribbles up the floor, he points to his right, where Austin Rivers is jogging around Kelly Oubre and Jeff Green. The intention is not for Rivers to catch the ball, though. Instead, his purpose is to clear out one side of the floor, force several of Orlando’s defenders to focus on his movement, and let Beal fall into an easy layup.

Wall drops in a beauty, and Beal gets his easiest two points of the night. These reads won’t save Washington’s season, but, at the very least, they prove the Wizards (might) have a pulse.

What is Wrong With Terry Rozier?

Terry Rozier has range, athleticism, and the reflexes of a cat. He can pull up from 26 feet or knife towards the elbow and elevate over whoever’s guarding him. He loops the ball as he dribbles, yo-yo-ing it in place with enough command and elegance to make you stop and count how many players rival his authority over any given possession. He does what/gets where he wants and fluidly snakes pick and rolls with the best of them. He thrives in narrow spaces without turning it over and his toolbox has it all: filthy hesitation moves, a nasty between-the-legs crossover, the type of step-back that should/might be illegal. Before he went 0-for-5 on Wednesday against the Bulls, Rozier was making a career-best 42.6 percent of his threes.

Everything written above is true. It’s also irrelevant. Through the first month of his fourth season (the last before his next contract), Rozier’s potency has stalled. In 13 fewer minutes than he averaged throughout last year’s breathtaking postseason run, the 24-year-old's weaknesses have amplified as he familiarizes himself with a new life as Kyrie Irving’s backup, struggling to identify his own responsibilities off the bench.

His game is a laundry list of needless split-second compromises. Rozier bails out defenders with jump shots that haven't been falling, and rushes through motions that otherwise make him unguardable. He's playing on an edge nobody else can see. Instead of dribbling into the paint and lofting a high floater over shot blockers who want him to take that exact shot, as seen below, why not sprinkle some craft and misdirection into his game by pump-faking his way to the free-throw line?

Or instead of taking that shot, why not string out the play by dribbling into the corner, forcing Meyers Leonard to switch, then breaking him down from the perimeter, forcing help and creating an open look elsewhere? This play is not an unusual one for Rozier. He's either needlessly scrambling or uselessly placid, trying to fit in when the Celtics need him to stand out.

It’s common for players to let poor shooting/scoring numbers bleed into other parts of their game, but Rozier can’t afford to let that happen. He’s declined as a passer and for reasons that aren’t clear, has looked less comfortable than ever attacking the rim. His offensive rebound rate is less than half what it was last year, a crime given how dynamic he tends to be on the glass.

Rozier isn't the only Celtic struggling, but he's the most likely to get traded. And if this version of his game lingers for much longer, it's unclear why another team will be willing to surrender anything of value for the right to pay his next contract.

Brook Lopez's 3-Point Range is Madness

Look how far Brook Lopez is standing from the rim!

The furthest every NBA three-point line extends from the rim is 23.75 feet. (It's 22 feet from the corners.) Lopez has already made three shots from at least 28 feet away! This isn’t totally new—he took 16 from that distance last season—but his range is noticeably expanding in a way that’s turned him into Milwaukee’s very own/slightly taller Ryan Anderson. Even in today's era, this feels synthetic. Like, he's taken and made as many 30-footers as Klay Thompson, Kyrie Irving, and Chris Paul. How is any of this real life?

Jabari Parker is Playing Defense, Kinda!

It's too soon to say if this is small-sample-size theater or just one player's overnight transformation into Spider-Man, but Parker is allowing the fewest points per possession in isolation among all non bigs in the entire league, per Synergy Sports. In 28 possessions, opposing players have only made five shots with Parker as their primary defender. (Those who rank above? Anthony Davis, Rudy Gobert, Wendell Carter Jr., and Domas Sabonis.)

The numbers might sound like a fluke but actually watch Parker do work and his quick hands and twitchy feet make this all feel somewhat sustainable. Here he is against James Harden and Jayson Tatum, two of the most difficult one-on-one covers in basketball.

Parker is jumpy, but in a good way, beating his man to spots after he boldly gets into their body to take away their shot. He displays a lateral quickness that, frankly, looks alien in his body. (Last season, Parker ranked 228th out of 263 players who defended at least 30 iso possessions. The year before that he was 268 out of 280.)

This is a far cry from claiming Parker is or will ever be a plus defender. But he's only 23 and the Bulls have been better (but still bad) on that end when he's on the floor. This might be more than nothing.

The Outlet Pass: The Draymond Green Trade Machine Edition published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

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The Outlet Pass: The Draymond Green Trade Machine Edition

So, What is Draymond Green’s Trade Value?

In the aftermath of a verbal dispute between Kevin Durant and Draymond Green that still may turn into something more and has already yielded one suspension while puncturing Golden State’s aura of invincibility, all eyes are on Durant’s free agency. Is this the pivotable moment that will push him out the door, onward to New York City or Los Angeles or whichever city will next be blessed by his inextinguishable knack for introducing a basketball to the inside of a rim?

Speculation in this case is a tad premature, but the stakes are high enough to allow it. (A dynasty hangs in the balance!) Even though we haven’t reached Thanksgiving, it always felt like Golden State needed to have a hand in its own demise; they’re too talented to be done in by a superior opponent. There’s still time for cooler heads to prevail—Steph Curry's health-related on-court absence from the equation shouldn’t go unnoticed—but the entire situation allows another question to creep into the periphery: What is Draymond’s trade value?

This isn’t to say Golden State should or will trade the perennial Defensive Player of the Year candidate just to appease the unappeasable Durant. But it’s worth wondering what they could get, or would even want, in return. And outside the Bay Area’s cushy confines, where he’s ascended alongside the two greatest shooters who ever lived, what would Draymond even look in another team’s jersey?

Green will make $17.4 million this year and $18.5 million in 2019-20 before he becomes a 30-year-old unrestricted free agent. He never was a traditional All-Star, someone who can roll out of bed every morning with 20 points in their back pocket. Green’s value is instead very real and very specific to everything that makes Golden State so free and spacious. It’s not fair to ask if the Detroit Pistons would be better with Green instead of Blake Griffin, but the answer to that question is “no,” even though most league observers probably think Draymond’s overall on-court impact is more beneficial.

Even though he’s a three-time All-Star in his prime with nearly two years left on his deal, Green couldn’t fetch what the Cleveland Cavaliers received for Kyrie Irving or the Chicago Bulls got for Jimmy Butler. A lottery pick feels out of the question. But how do you weigh a key ingredient for the greatest team ever beside the temper that may be responsible for said team’s downfall? He’s one of four players averaging at least seven points, seven assists, and seven rebounds right now (the other three are Russell Westbrook, Ben Simmons, and LeBron James), but is also shooting 24 percent from deep with the fourth-worst turnover rate in the league.

Every dynasty that intends to stay on top must eventually alter its fundamental makeup on the fly. Having signed Durant, the Warriors (and Green!) know this better than anyone else. But their decision to publicly embarrass a franchise icon the way they did could reverberate in a way they couldn’t see, despite existing light years ahead of the competition.

What if Durant, suddenly emboldened by the call to reprimand Draymond, tells Bob Myers that he doesn’t want to leave. That he’s willing to re-sign long-term so long as Green is gone. And when does Green’s next contract complicate matters to the point where the fear of losing him for nothing/locking him up on an expensive, untradeable deal becomes too much? What are some hypothetical trades that make sense? Do they exist? I’m honestly not sure. Most teams that are in the time of their life cycle to have interest in Green can’t give the Warriors what they’d want in return, or have the type of salaries on their books to make it work (i.e. the Denver Nuggets, New Orleans Pelicans, Washington Wizards, Oklahoma City Thunder, San Antonio Spurs, Los Angeles Lakers, and Houston Rockets).

But here are a few that, while flawed (repeat: these are flawed and mostly unrealistic because Draymond’s monetary value and skill-set are not easy to trade!) are fun enough to wonder about:

Portland Trail Blazers get: Draymond Green

Golden State Warriors get: Zach Collins, Al-Farouq Aminu, and Moe Harkless

How much more enjoyable will the NBA playoffs be if this trade happens? Golden State (possibly) sustains its standing in the short-term while looking towards the future with a cost-controlled blue chipper who can pass, shoot, and protect the basket. Portland ostensibly lands the missing piece it needs to make a legitimate playoff run without breaking up its backcourt duo.

Miami Heat get: Draymond Green

Golden State Warriors get: Kelly Olynyk and Justise Winslow

There’s no logical rationale behind this trade. I just want to see Draymond mixed with Heat culture.

Sacramento Kings get: Draymond Green

Golden State Warriors get: Marvin Bagley III, Bogdan Bogdanovic

Obviously terrible for Sacramento but this organization feels due for an obviously terrible move. Bagley III may not ever be good, but it’s so rare for a team as great as the Warriors to add a prospect with that much potential. It makes them significantly worse for the rest of this season, but would it cost them the title? At the very least, Golden State could turn around and use Bagley III as a trade chip to add more immediate help.

Brooklyn Nets gets: Draymond Green

Golden State Warriors get: Spencer Dinwiddie and DeMarre Carroll

For an organization that may not want to sit around and test free agency, this is one way to spice up their relevance while selling high on a talented guard whose skill-set overlaps with D’Angelo Russell and Caris LeVert. LeVert’s injury stalled Brooklyn’s metamorphosis into a frisky playoff team this season, but next year, with LeVert, Green, Jarrett Allen, and a lottery pick? They wouldn’t be bad!

Utah Jazz get: Draymond Green

Golden State Warriors get: Jae Crowder, Grayson Allen, and Thabo Sefolosha

A decent rookie plus a serviceable small-ball four plus a veteran who doesn’t really play anymore? That sounds like a reasonable package. Of course, sending Green to a team that has Golden State in its crosshairs probably isn’t realistic. (That goes for Portland, too.) Either way, just imagine a frontcourt that pairs the last two Defensive Players of the Year, while solving Utah’s long-standing issue that is Gobert at the five in crunchtime of a critical playoff game. The Jazz slice into their cap space and shouldn’t feel confident about retaining Green once he hits unrestricted free agency in 2020, but until then they would be the league’s most intriguing title contender. The Warriors save money and get better (?) on offense.

Tom Thibodeau: Stranger in a Strange Land

Say what you will about Jimmy Butler's behavior, multiple generations of corrosive dysfunction, and every other obstacle Tom Thibodeau has faced since he became President of Basketball Operations for the Minnesota Timberwolves—some of which was clearly self-constructed—but the team’s putrid defense is impossible to ignore.

The Timberwolves have the worst defense in the NBA, and are surrendering about four more points per 100 possessions than they did four years ago, when...they finished with the worst defense in the NBA. Teams are brutalizing Minnesota on the offensive glass and taking total advantage of their non-existent hustle back in transition. Their only five-man unit that’s played major minutes and come close to yielding dignified results was Butler + The Bench, and that group no longer exists.

Not all the blame can rest on Thibodeau—Karl-Anthony Towns is still at his best chasing shots to block and, as ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski pointed out on a recent podcast, Andrew Wiggins doesn’t appear to enjoy playing basketball—but the team has yet to resemble one that knows how to defend uncomplicated NBA offense.

What exactly is Derrick Rose doing here? Does he think he should switch onto Iman Shumpert? Does he see Kosta Koufous through the corner of his eye and anticipate having to guard a high pick-and-roll? For whatever reason, Rose being this far from where he should against a speed demon like De’Aaron Fox is instant death. Plays like it aren’t uncommon.

They’re allowing 1.13 points per possession after a made shot while opponents gallop by at the third-fastest tempo in the league, per Inpredictable. They make no effort to match up and hardly ever sprint back. The play below came seconds after a Towns dunk, and they can't even use poor floor balance as an excuse! It's not new for the Thibs Timberwolves, but it’s still disturbing.

He entered this job as a revolutionary defensive tactician, someone whose militaristic instructions could squeeze water from a brick. But how does a league that’s never been more open about its desire to make life easy for offenses impact Thibodeau’s stock if/when he loses his job? Can he build a top-notch defense in today's NBA, which looks much different from what it was when he was Doc Rivers's assistant in Boston or head coach of the Chicago Bulls? Or did poor personnel decisions spell out his own doom?

Philly Helps Ben Simmons by Getting the Ball Out of His Hands

Ben Simmons is 22 years old and—according to some smart people, including his own general manager—one of the world's 20 best players. He’s already won Rookie of the Year, one playoff series, and only Russell Westbrook and LeBron James have more triple-doubles since his career debut. If he doesn’t go down as one of the 10 best passers his size (6’10”, for those unaware) who ever lived it’ll be a wild disappointment.

He'll always be a unique mismatch who terrorizes defenses caught between stopping his momentum and realizing the moment they do he’s going to fling a dart out to the three-point line, or put one of his teammates in a hot-air balloon to cram home a lob. On defense, Simmons’s height and build allow the Philadelphia 76ers to stick him on opposing centers (Al Horford, Myles Turner, etc.) when they need to hide Joel Embiid on someone who isn’t as threatening in the pick and roll. He’s very good and special and the 76ers should feel blessed to have him on their team.

But if last year was a hazily appealing honeymoon, the earliest returns on Simmons’s sophomore season have sometimes felt like the first valley in a marriage that’s yet to experience any conflict; an unsettling realization that the notable hitches in his game won’t improve anytime soon—he and Philly are officially in this through good times and bad. Regardless of how physically imposing, rare, and breathtaking Simmons can be, building a championship contender with someone who can’t shoot as a focal point is exceptionally difficult. It helped spur Saturday’s blockbuster trade for Jimmy Butler and, regardless of what the team says, has made Markelle Fultz expendable. This year, Philadelphia has the 26th best offense in the league with Simmons on the court (on par with the tanktastic New York Knicks). They play like a 36-win team with him and a 48-win team without him. (When Embiid isn’t on the court but Simmons is, the Sixers have the worst offense and worst defense in the NBA.)

Philly still likes to get Simmons going downhill, usually to his left, with a J.J. Redick ball screen near the free-throw line. It’s a tricky but increasingly predictable action that most defenses are starting to spot from a mile away, especially as they use it more and more towards the end of quarters. Here’s the best-case scenario: Malcolm Brogdon deciding Fultz is a threat in the weak-side corner.

More often than not, teams will either switch the screen and force Simmons/Redick to go one-on-one, or the floor will be too congested for him to do much of anything. Watch Michael Kidd-Gilchrist below.

It’s early, we’re months away from the trade deadline and buyout market. Someone like Kyle Korver can really help. But a smart thing Brett Brown has done to mitigate Philly's shortage of outside shooting is use Simmons more as an off-ball scorer. That sounds insane, but this is less about his gravity flying off a pin-down and more about physical duck-ins and and the most intimidating Hawk cut in the league.

The sequence seen above is similar to what the Oklahoma City Thunder ran last season as a way to involve Carmelo Anthony, Paul George, and Russell Westbrook. (As covered by Ben Falk over at Cleaning the Glass.) Embiid screens for Simmons near the elbow and gifts him a free dash into the paint.

Below, the Indiana Pacers are ready for it. Bojan Bogdanovic spins under Embiid’s pick while Myles Turner drops a bit, ready to absorb Simmons’s cut. The Sixers shrug their shoulders and get a layup.

As Brown tinkers with different ways to accentuate Simmons’s nightmarish athleticism (while obscuring his setbacks) in lineups that feature Embiid and Butler, look for this more and more.

According to Synergy Sports, post-ups and cuts accounted for 18.2 percent of Simmons’s possessions last year. Right now they’re at 28.4 percent, with Brown stacking his playbook with more ways to let Simmons attack from spots on the floor where he’s comfortable. This baseline out of bounds set is a great example.

Simmons inbounds the ball and then immediately carves out post position for an entry pass. Simple, yet effective! But these actions aren’t enough to prop up Philadelphia’s offense and ultimately nullify an aesthetic that’s occasionally drowsy. Don’t let anyone ever tell you Simmons’s inability to shoot doesn’t matter, be it from the corner, elbow, or free-throw line. He's awesome and has found ways to overcome it, but defenses know he isn't willing to pull-up from 15 feet and they guard him as such. That's more wart than novelty. Shooting helps! But harnessing his physicality on the block, along with different ways to leverage his speed in a half-court setting, is wise. They should/will lean into it even more now that Butler is on board.

All the Wizards Have is John Wall and Bradley Beal’s Subtle Chemistry

The Washington Wizards have won three in a row, but don't let that distract you from the fact that they're still an indifferent collection of untenable contracts. They don’t seem to care or try, and when they do it’s laughably stubborn. (So, you don't think I can make this unnecessarily difficult pull-up two? Watch this!) Put on a Wizards game for ten minutes and your first takeaway should be that they desperately want to flex on the world but don’t have a gym membership. Steps are missing. Corners get cut. (In one recent play against the Orlando Magic, Washington surrendered a put-back dunk after Bradley Beal’s shoe came off and “prevented” him from hustling back into the frame.)

Their carelessness is underlined by bizarre lineup decisions—that include Scott Brooks’s penchant to play all-bench groups that have so far been outscored by (what follows is not a misprint) 29.3 points per 100 possessions—and a frustratingly fine point guard who’s powerful enough to take over a game while also being the number one reason it slips through his team’s fingers.

But hope lives in even the darkest corners of the NBA. And as inconsequential as it might be, flashes of chemistry between Washington’s two best players have provided a fleeting semblance of expertise commonly associated with professional athletics.

In both plays seen below, subtlety is key. Beal’s defender is primarily concerned with letting him race up off a down screen to either curl into the paint or stop cold for a jumper. Tyler Johnson sees Dwight Howard coming and all he’s thinking about is that pick, and how he can get over on it. John Wall knows this.

Terrence Ross is similarly positioning in the next example, but this one is a bit more scripted. As Wall dribbles up the floor, he points to his right, where Austin Rivers is jogging around Kelly Oubre and Jeff Green. The intention is not for Rivers to catch the ball, though. Instead, his purpose is to clear out one side of the floor, force several of Orlando’s defenders to focus on his movement, and let Beal fall into an easy layup.

Wall drops in a beauty, and Beal gets his easiest two points of the night. These reads won’t save Washington’s season, but, at the very least, they prove the Wizards (might) have a pulse.

What is Wrong With Terry Rozier?

Terry Rozier has range, athleticism, and the reflexes of a cat. He can pull up from 26 feet or knife towards the elbow and elevate over whoever’s guarding him. He loops the ball as he dribbles, yo-yo-ing it in place with enough command and elegance to make you stop and count how many players rival his authority over any given possession. He does what/gets where he wants and fluidly snakes pick and rolls with the best of them. He thrives in narrow spaces without turning it over and his toolbox has it all: filthy hesitation moves, a nasty between-the-legs crossover, the type of step-back that should/might be illegal. Before he went 0-for-5 on Wednesday against the Bulls, Rozier was making a career-best 42.6 percent of his threes.

Everything written above is true. It’s also irrelevant. Through the first month of his fourth season (the last before his next contract), Rozier’s potency has stalled. In 13 fewer minutes than he averaged throughout last year’s breathtaking postseason run, the 24-year-old's weaknesses have amplified as he familiarizes himself with a new life as Kyrie Irving’s backup, struggling to identify his own responsibilities off the bench.

His game is a laundry list of needless split-second compromises. Rozier bails out defenders with jump shots that haven't been falling, and rushes through motions that otherwise make him unguardable. He's playing on an edge nobody else can see. Instead of dribbling into the paint and lofting a high floater over shot blockers who want him to take that exact shot, as seen below, why not sprinkle some craft and misdirection into his game by pump-faking his way to the free-throw line?

Or instead of taking that shot, why not string out the play by dribbling into the corner, forcing Meyers Leonard to switch, then breaking him down from the perimeter, forcing help and creating an open look elsewhere? This play is not an unusual one for Rozier. He's either needlessly scrambling or uselessly placid, trying to fit in when the Celtics need him to stand out.

It’s common for players to let poor shooting/scoring numbers bleed into other parts of their game, but Rozier can’t afford to let that happen. He’s declined as a passer and for reasons that aren’t clear, has looked less comfortable than ever attacking the rim. His offensive rebound rate is less than half what it was last year, a crime given how dynamic he tends to be on the glass.

Rozier isn't the only Celtic struggling, but he's the most likely to get traded. And if this version of his game lingers for much longer, it's unclear why another team will be willing to surrender anything of value for the right to pay his next contract.

Brook Lopez's 3-Point Range is Madness

Look how far Brook Lopez is standing from the rim!

The furthest every NBA three-point line extends from the rim is 23.75 feet. (It's 22 feet from the corners.) Lopez has already made three shots from at least 28 feet away! This isn’t totally new—he took 16 from that distance last season—but his range is noticeably expanding in a way that’s turned him into Milwaukee’s very own/slightly taller Ryan Anderson. Even in today's era, this feels synthetic. Like, he's taken and made as many 30-footers as Klay Thompson, Kyrie Irving, and Chris Paul. How is any of this real life?

Jabari Parker is Playing Defense, Kinda!

It's too soon to say if this is small-sample-size theater or just one player's overnight transformation into Spider-Man, but Parker is allowing the fewest points per possession in isolation among all non bigs in the entire league, per Synergy Sports. In 28 possessions, opposing players have only made five shots with Parker as their primary defender. (Those who rank above? Anthony Davis, Rudy Gobert, Wendell Carter Jr., and Domas Sabonis.)

The numbers might sound like a fluke but actually watch Parker do work and his quick hands and twitchy feet make this all feel somewhat sustainable. Here he is against James Harden and Jayson Tatum, two of the most difficult one-on-one covers in basketball.

Parker is jumpy, but in a good way, beating his man to spots after he boldly gets into their body to take away their shot. He displays a lateral quickness that, frankly, looks alien in his body. (Last season, Parker ranked 228th out of 263 players who defended at least 30 iso possessions. The year before that he was 268 out of 280.)

This is a far cry from claiming Parker is or will ever be a plus defender. But he's only 23 and the Bulls have been better (but still bad) on that end when he's on the floor. This might be more than nothing.

The Outlet Pass: The Draymond Green Trade Machine Edition published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/