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Reblog and put in the tags if you can remember where you got the shirt you’re currently wearing.

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Just a few more hours

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They’re passive aggressively cleaning each others faces in the banana bed rn

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Hey gallus, what's your favorite pokemon?

Farfetched because I caught one like, immediately in the only Pokemon game I played (I think it was Pokemon France? The one with the prof and ceo that were extremely gay for each other. and macrons. Yeah, the french one.) and she became my front line powerhouse. Her name was Nixon and she was a beautiful avatar of violence.

I was so hyperfocused on grid-searching every patch of grass without repels and collecting every poke available in the area that Nixon was Level 69 before I remembered Gyms Existed. Proceeded to bulldoze every gym in the game and the doomsday ginger in the bad suit with The World's Angriest Duck.

Her best friends were Shiny Espurr named Bubblegum Bitch and Yvetal (named Baconator). I consistently forgot Baconator was in my party despite being in the second slot because Nixon. Didn't. Lose.

...Which is probably how I'd be if I somehow got Isekai'd into the pokemon universe. Grab a Canada Goose out of the park, name it something stupid and spoil it rotten with food, attention and opportunities for violence until it was strong enough to kill god and shit on his throne.

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just overheard my wife spelling something on the phone and i shit you not saying the words “E as in Eeyore” i am on my hands and knees wailing screaming crying pleading and begging people to learn the NATO phonetic alphabet

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I wish I was a stress cleaner. Never once has my response to stress been “time to employ some good habits”

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Make sure you say "I wonder what they're doing right now..." about your comic relief friends every now and then so the episode can cut to their B plot

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that comment about how you should not borrow grief from the future has saved me multiple times from spiraling into an inescapable state of anxiety. like every time i find myself thinking about how something in the future could go wrong i remember that comment and i think to myself: well i never know, it might get better. it might not even happen the way i think it will and if it does happen and it is sad and bad ill be sad about it then, when it happens. and it’s somehow soo freeing

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it is genuinely bewildering to me that adult human beings do not know this but if you are mean to people they will not like you. like tbh they are probably also not going to like you if you are mean to other people but they are definitely not going to like you if you are mean to them. it doesn’t matter if you are funny or if you can use r/aita rules to prove that you are in the right. people simply so not enjoy being treated like shit.

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tumblrinas need to see this

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every time

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r/stupiddovenests features so many mourning doves which is insane to me i didnt know they were so bad at this. always thought the bad nests was a feral pigeon thing